#online classes are WACK and that's just the facts

[transmissionsfromthebattlefield]

“Take My Word For It”

Thank god for classes starting up again so that I can pivot my screen time away from people making me lose faith in humanity and towards PDFs of textbooks. The weather is hot and the AC in the library is pumping. Kent State once again brims with life. I tabled at our freshman orientation club fair yesterday—so many little babies, yet over half of the girls seem to be taller than me. (Thanks, genetics.) It really does make my heart swell to be back, though. I am SO pumped.

Aside from classes and Task Force and all my friends and the best burritos in the world, I’m also very excited for the return to basic principles of human interaction. I’ve been people watching a lot online lately. Too much, in fact, and I need to stop. But the emotions and the news are pertinent, and they must be processed. I’ve been seeing a lot of exchanges online lately that are basically negative recommendations. Someone says they don’t care for something for whatever streamlined reason, and someone else agrees with zero visible actual external research on the subject. Asking for recommendations nowadays always has to come with some disclaimer. Disclaimers have become a big part of internet culture in general, and it’s a real shame. Weighing positives and negatives after even just a simple article or two or accepting that a friend likes whatever seems to be a thing of the past, in the digital sphere at least, in favor of following a herd to keep those whom we perceive as our friends or want to be our friends with. Have conspiracy theorists tainted the concept of “doing one’s own research”? Or maybe COVID as a whole wrecked us—we got so used to isolating ourselves from absolutely everyone that it has become second nature to shun anything deemed hypercharged bad buzzword, or alternatively “slime”. It didn’t even take a generation.

You might as well be taking somebody’s world for it, not just their word—one must be in to-tall alignment with the politikal perspektives of their frendos, or else we might have an astrologist’s worst nightmare on a self-worth scale: the planets are out of wack! I’m an idiosyncronous, imperfect ball of flesh on the same planet as many more of the same despite their abject differences from me! Help!

My anxious psyche leads me to distrust humans in general, but I think society has gone too far in its stagnant polarization. We bitch and we fight, to quote crappy post-Roger Waters Pink Floyd (most society as it currently stands is basically “Learning To Fly” on repeat blaring very loud in my ears, I think), and most of the time it’s about how we perceive the influence and morals of actively powerful forces in the world. You can have a great, insightful, constructive conversation about that. But we resort to stereotype and self preservation. And as those gears keep on churning in the background, as they always do and always will, we get nothing done. We forget that we have more in common with one another than we think, while preaching that same concept. But how much do we truly believe the preprogrammed responses we’ve taught ourselves to repeat?

Do we really want a free exchange of ideas, or do we crave that overtone addendum, “but only if they’re the right ones”? Do we even want to be right, or do we always need some abstract, accessible boogeyman to jab at while the powers that be pulling the strings only grow stronger? Do we want to grow stronger ourselves to someday defeat them, or do we succumb to the overwhelming complexity of the world at large and retreat to where we feel safest? Do we seek change, or do we only call for it, not work towards it? We praise the sacrifice of others, but how comfortable would we be with sacrificing ourselves—in any capacity—for the same cause?

Yet when you meet people in person, even these people, they laugh. They actually have senses of humor. They invite, most of the time. And if they repel, they repel. The intention becomes obvious. The experience can be learned from. Another side comes into view, separate from the PR-primed pop star we all fashion ourselves to be, secretly. The blood and guts are there to spill. The humanity is on full display.

And that’s why a damn good conversation beats nameless, faceless, face full of constructed ideological perfection protection any day of the week, regardless of whether or not class is in session.

[bbg100]

I got what I thought was a solid degree that would give me jobs throughout my life, but I am watching my graduating class stay hashtag open to work, jump fields, and this person just listed themselves as an 'online business consultant, freelance' (which is business for im unemployed can someone please pay me to do what is in my textbook).

They're screwed btw. The business graduating class had an inner circle and if you didn't breach it, nobody reccs you for jobs (not an actual rule but I've never seen it broken). Despite the fact they got the same degree as me, their lack of LinkedIn endorsements and 'oh I know someone who is looking for that kind of job!' means there's not actually hope of their degree landing them a job anytime soon.

REMEMBER GIRLIES. It's not about what you can do in business. It's about the three N's! NETWORKING, NEOPOTISM, and NEW EXPERIENCES. I'm being half sarcastic but rly it does seem that having friends or unique stuff to talk about is the make or break. Especially with ai resume software already being completely entrenched, laws requiring jobs that are already sorta filled to be listed publicly, and whatever wacked vibe is being taught if you bite the garden of Eden apple that is the entrepreneur grindset.

[evermorehaikyuu]

May I request a matchup? I'm 5'5 and I weigh 206lbs. I have a pixie cut kind of hair that i dyed orange. (My light brown roots are showing) I have green eyes and I'm very affectionate and caring. I'm clingy and I like being able to hold people at all times (preferably in a romantic way). I'm introverted once you get to know me, then I'm so hyper and I curse like a sailor. I'm attracted to taller guys with muscles. (Everyone in haikyuu lol) (pt.1)

I love swimming and I used to play volleyball in (a dumb summer week long program). I like art and music. I normally listen to one song on repeat but recently I’ve been shuffling things lol. I normally draw on my phone and I have noise cancelling headphones which makes it seem like I ignore people purposefully. (I don’t) For style it’s mostly basketball shorts and slightly baggy tees. I have some hiking boots I wear on a daily. I mostly like chilling in my bed or hanging out with friends. (Pt 2)

Hi there! I match you with….

TATSUKI WASHIO!

He is so heads over heels for you, everyone around you can see it

You two seem very different, but just by appearance because your hair makes you seem like someone extroverted and he’s very chill; in reality, both of you are very chill, especially together

Reassuring hugs and hugs in general are the most common things in your relationship

When he hears you cursing like a sailor, he can’t help but cover his chuckles up because if anyone that only knew you by looks, they’d be shaking in their non existent boots

He’ll go to your swimming competitions and after swimming practice, he will buy you a bunch of food because he knows how hungry you tend to get

He hopes you’ll play volleyball with him at least and help him practice

Both of you listen to music while you work and share playlists with each other based on music you know the other likes

Washio will buy you headphones if your headphones ever break or something

Chilling anywhere is basically a date, especially when it’s with food

I hope you liked your matchup!

[pocketramblr]

your students sound wack ngl pocket

They are. They really, really are.

[youkaigakkou-tl]

The Renren arc post

Just a little compilation of the details in chapter 67 to 77, this almost certainly isn’t even all of them

warning: very long. a lot of images

(link) first of all, not renren arc proper, but the hoodie haruaki was wearing in volume 10 was hatanaka’s from when he was a student

like i mentioned in the timeline post, this whole arc happens over 1 day. wack

(Chapter 68) ebisu-sensei, if i recall, sir, werent you spying on your mii-kun? we still havent gotten to that plot point yet like at all

Seating Arrangement

(chapter 69, nice) a month before this chapter was released, the author tweeted the seating arrangement for the class

(made in google sheets by me, link to the tweet)

Anemone

(chapter 69) the flowers in the background here are anemones, anemone coronaria.

they mean a couple things, but the gist of it is like “love”, “truth”, “suffering”, the works

Birthday

(chapter 69) utagawa’s birthday is april 14th. this is more of a headcanon than anything, but there’s a chance its the date she died.

she specifically points out it’s april here, and although the next scene where rensuke’s mask comes off probably doesn’t happen on the same day, i’m pretty sure it doesn’t happen too long after this

it’s definitely not the day takahashi found her as a gashadokuro, since that happens 2 months after she died

(chapter 74) of course, there’s a chance its just her birthday as a human. rensuke doesn’t mention if theres any reason he’s giving her the ring, but it might be for a birthday present

by the way, and this is relevant, “utagawa kuniko” is based off utagawa kuniyoshi, a woodblock print maker and painter, who made the depiction of the gashadokuro. he died on april 14.

305

this is super nothing, but 305 is a number that comes up a lot for just being a number. its:

hatanaka and mikis dorm room when they were students

rensuke and hijitas room now (confirmed to be the same room as hata and miki)

haruakis hospital room in vol 7

renkas hospital room (not the same hospital)

im told it has something to do with onmyoudou, but i cant find anything online. its probably nothing. but im pointing it out so itll haunt you on future rereads too lol

also, hatanakas birthday is 5/5 and mikis birthday is 3/3. cute

Book

(chapter 70) this book that got knocked off the table is what prompts haruaki to call takahashi, and i spent a while trying to figure out what it is

its... probably the laid back youkai dictionary? would make sense

also, i didnt notice this before writing this, but its the gida taxi business card! cute!

Woah Holy Shit

(chapter 70) wait. he straight up took off his mask to threaten haruaki. geez seimei-kun you got to see his sexy face before all of us!! kyaa!!

Finally The Goddamn Nyuudou House Heist, This Post Is Getting Long

(chapter 71) this seems like a throwaway “wow cool operation about to start” line, but this is probably talking to yamazaki or ame

(chapter 71) on first reading, you probably either glossed over this or thought “ok anti youkai power time” directly going against his conditions with renpapa that he wasnt going to use it (which you may or may not also have glossed over on first reading)

but rereading this knowing its yamazaki changes that (not by much, since its just 2 sentences and he doesnt act on it, but yknow, fascinating)

(chapter 72) here too, when he prioritizes getting mujina out with the intel

also how kurai doesnt even gloat too much even though he caught “haruaki”

even if it wasnt immediately revealed 1 panel later, you probably would have caught on to something being up with just this

or it would be the fact that it was revealed already theres a separate team in chapter 71

(chapter 73) again, here, when sano prioritizes tamao even though “haruaki” is with them too

ah, yknow, one o’ them “call forward”s, one o’ them “back-foreshadowing”

Amaaki Content

(chapter 76) finally getting to the chapters i did. i kinda hate reading my own chapters since i stared at them so much theyre burned into my brain, i hope theyre like, done well. if i had infinite time and energy i would totally redo these first chapters i did. in fact i kinda did, i had to come back and fix some text bubble shaping and phrasing before i posted these anywhere. anyway this has been totally irrelevant.

super un-haruaki-like expression, but im a amaaki liker hehe

a comment on bilibili really opened my eyes, its that this came from ame’s own feelings about haru teaching at hyakki (crying and punching walls rn)

The sky’s clear...

(chapter 76) CRYING SOBBING PUNCHING WALLS RN ITS BECAUSE HARU MEANS CLEAR SKIES UEUEUEUE

We’re All Fools Compilation

(chapter 76) it was at this moment, that i realised: “OH RIGHT HIS FUCKING BRACELET”

anyway, heres the His Fucking Bracelet Or Lack Thereof compilation

I mentioned this in my google drive translation notes, but you can really see how the author purposely showed ame’s right hand at every opportunity

Anyway

(chapter 77) he’s riding gida here, not just for fun, but because he got jabbed with his own immobilization drug by kurai in chapter 75.

um. i hope i translated this in a way that made sense.

anyway this has been the renren arc post wahoooo!! super incomprehensible i hope i get better at this probably wont tho!! i wanna make a post like this for the seimei student arc and also kyoto arc too

[amazingphilza]

study buddies :: cc!multiple x reader

fluff , platonic , gender neutral ! some headcanons if the mcyts were trying to help you do hw :D

cc’s included in order: tommyinnit , tubbo , ranboo , wilbur soot , philza , technoblade

tommyinnit

i feel like he’s the type to be in a long discord call with you whilst you both try to finish your work

mans uses the screensharing feature like there’s no tomorrow

“y/n watch my stream on discord and help me guess the answers”

“tommy no! i haven’t even taken a film class before”

“your guess is good as mine”

“just cheat and google the answers!!!”

“fuck you”

he actually just wants your attention because he’s bored out of his mind doing homework

five minutes later of asking you to help him guess questions he’s like

“hey y/n”

“what now?”

“let’s play bedwars”

“oh my god shut up!!!”

if tommy has to speedrun something before a deadline, it is a whole different story tho; he will be so focused on completing that he won’t hear what you’re saying

if you’re struggling in math, you’re on your own

“math is shit, only numbers i need is my primes and youtube analytics” says tommy any time you complain about math

besides the fact he isn’t good at solving math problems, you can’t even read his handwriting if he did try showing you how to do a problem

“okay, y/n, it’s simple, just look” he says in his kareninnit voice and everything

you’d be like “is the variable a G or a 9??”

“fuck you that’s a 4!!!”

tubbo

i don’t know if tubbo ever talked about school before but something about him makes me think he’s actually pretty good at math

like he can explain a few things when it comes to math / algebra

CODING GO BRRRR

no geometry or calculus though, anything past algebra will go bad

if tubbo is doing homework with you, he will definitely tune you out

“hey tubbo can you help me on this question?”

you don’t get a response until like 20 minutes later

“oh yeah, what was it y/n?”

like now you answer? i just got the answer myself after so long, forget you smh

“oh nothing tubbo, nevermind!”

but you’re still grumbling in your head because if he answered just a bit earlier you wouldn’t have gone through the work of finding the answer online

i can also imagine if you’re taking chemistry tubbo is like ;

“oh you’re taking chemistry? let’s make some bombs!” /lh

tubbo would definitely pull an all-nighter with you to finish your projects together

if you had a group project, he would make you do the writing part while he does the drawing part

“we definitely aced this project”

“of course we did, if i made you draw we would’ve ended up with stick figure diagrams”

“TUBBO. THE FUCK?”

ranboo

okay i know ranboo said he isn’t a theatre or band kid (unless im wrong and forgetful) but i feel like he’d be somewhat educated in the topics nonetheless

half the time he’s great moral support, helping you stay motivated !

the other half is him making fun of you

“i cant believe you’re failing, that is so sad, can’t be me”

“it’s literally an honors class, ranboo! it’s supposed to be hard!!”

“taking an honors class willingly? also cant be me AHAHA”

i honestly can’t see ranboo going to school like i know he’s a minor and said he had zoom calls before and plays volleyball but like did i miss something? has he dropped out yet? like something about ranboo does not scream “student” /lh

besides that, i’m not sure what subject he would actually be good in,,, but something about nutrition/health sciences,, he knows a few things

don’t get me wrong, i don’t think he actually likes the subject but somehow remembers what he learned from the class

also gives me the type of energy of the type of person to take a first aid class to be a certified person to do cpr on someone just to kill time during his lunch breaks for a while or something

“i am a certified cpr person”

“my life in ranboo’s hands? oh god please no”

you two would probably joke about the ‘bad’ people in your classes or talk shit about your schools than actually doing anything homework related ngl AHAHAH

“you think your school is down bad? mine went back to campus full time after like 6 months into quarantine because they were running out of money”

“what the hell y/n? your school is a scam, drop out”

“arghhhh i knowww”

“i bet i make more money than your teachers combined AHAHAH”

wilbur soot

he doesn’t seem like the best person to ask for help for homework but can info dump you on very specific historical events + a bit of geography

i kinda see him as the person you can ask to proof read an essay for you and would help it improve immensely

who needs a thesaurus when you have vocabulary boy wilbur?

i dunno if it’s an american thing only or at all, but if/when you get to studying hamilton in your english class, he will get so fucking excited

“no wilbur it isn’t fun! imagine listening to lin-manuel miranda rap ‘alexander hamilton’ at the white house from like 2009 on repeat for over an hour whilst trying to write an analysis about it!! it was so distracting”

“well clearly someone has a personal problem with mr lin-manuel. if i were you, i’d be singing the whole thing”

is this last bit personal and complete spite from my freshman year english class? yes. i do not care? no. /hj

unrelated but i actually scribbled nice guy ballad lyrics and other songs on my english scratch papers in freshman year but anyway

probably isn’t the best person to be in a call to do homework with but wilbur doesn’t mind you ringing him occasionally sometimes

i dunno i can just see him easily get bored of the silence or something but also doesn’t want to bother you too much

but he is genuinely proud of you whenever you tell him you aced a big test you were studying for :D

philza

this man’s bad advice is as bad as him trying to help you on any subject

he’s an old man so /hj

but like honestly, he hasn’t been at school for so long, phil can probably only help with the most basic things when it comes to school

if you have a wack teacher that makes you collect data through surveying people, phil would be one of the best people to ask! straightforward and won’t take too much of your time compared to other people ahem,,

statistics things ! sobs

if you ever complain a lot about your classes and contemplating dropping out and stuff, he will def scold you hard

“ugh phillllllllll can i just like,, never go to school again?”

“do not drop out”

“argh fine, i won’t just ‘cause philza minecraft said so”

honestly if you get a high score in a big test like your sats/gcse’s (whatever you’re taking from wherever you are) he’d probably order you a small meal or something to celebrate :D

like how phil bought ranboo bought him food to his house, it would start as a joke but when you get your test scores back he’s like “YOOO GOOD JOB Y/N”

expect a left meat pizza coming to your house .

technoblade

like wilbur, techno is also helpful when it comes to history!

def knows a decent bit of literature too

besides that i don’t really see him being that helpful

even if he was supposed to be an english major

he will just get mad at the school system for teaching you useless things

“being in school is good but why do you need to know how to know if something is a triangle or not? i can obviously see with my eyes that it’s a triangle”

“i dunno! ask the person that made up geometry”

“just look at a kaleidoscope and be over with it, it isn’t that hard”

“that isn’t how it works—”

“bruhhh”

if you’re looking for the person to call while doing homework, he is not the person /lh

it’s either like 0 or 100 with techno

he can just completely not say anything and ignore you or go on a full rant about whatever class or homework you have

if you have an essay you need written, it will take a lot of bribing but he might take the opportunity if you are rich

“techno i’ll paypal you $10 please help me”

“no. i can make 10 times that amount in 5 minutes if i just started streaming right now”

“techno i don’t have that kind of money! pleaseee”

“no. instead of complaining, you can use that time to actually start you work”

“you’re the worst”

then you speedrun the essay and get an A just to spite him

[reonagisolos]

Prime Empire Au where Jay is Milton Dyer's adopted son given by Gordon and Jay's unnamed (?) mom because they didn't ever want to have kids and those two were close with him.

TW: There's a brief panic attack at "oh God," then skip to, "there's nothing left"

So...Milton adopts him and of course Jay grows up really smart because he naturally is and because of Milton's influence but because of his muddled upbringing +general personality+ neglect from Milton as a father because he was more focused with work than with his "son", he was kind of an outsider.

Which was fine with Jay!

Except it wasn't. Anyway, here's a fic to accompany it that I accidentally written

—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-

If you had told 8 year old Jay that the one taking him in as his father would be a hotshot programmer for gaming, he'd be on top of the moon. In his mind, he thought that having someone be a part of something he loved was really, really cool. That he'd have so many friends because wow, that's amazing that his dad was some high tech legendary programmer—and well...that turned out to be a lie.

No one really cared. Probably because his school was filled to the brim with the children of the upper class, so his dad was just some other rich dude who just so happened to work in the game industry. And sure, it's more interesting than a politician, or a car salesman, but there were dozens of kids from different parts of technology, so he wasn't really special.

To everyone else in his classes, he was simply deemed a weird kid or trouble making kid. No one should misbehave by speaking too loudly or bounce over nothing to be excited about, or talk and talk about one thing over and over in this latest game he got to play when there were other things to be learnt and other people's turns. He needed to be quiet, to shut it, they said, because anything more than that was annoying and awful. They were right, he'd deemed even back then—But could they be less harsh?

That one weird, annoying kid, huh.

Even as he got older, things didn't get any better. On the contrary, it gets worse. So much worse.

By then, they didn't just call him weird anymore.

Now, people would push and shove him away when he's near, (to not get "infected" from him, they say) or mock him for doing even something unordinary, like for bouncing his leg, or for stuttering when he can't help it—Even on things he thought were stupid to care about!

Things like rambling about his favorite video games agressively to pass the time, or wearing cat clips to keep his forever messy hair in place, or the constant fidgeting because the chair is just so goddamn uncomfortable, and that he'd rather just sit on the floor, or preferring the girl's uniform simply because he thought it would be easier to wear and looked ''nicer'' to him.

Not to mention people finding his extra energy on anything except class to be again, annoying and unnecessary.

"You shouldn't do that Jay, it's distracting—"

"Stop doing that Jay, it's annoying"

"Don't do that Jay, you're not allowed to."

The list goes on.

And he's tried changing, he really has.

He's tried to supress them and change things about himself so people would "like" him more. Forget about talking about this and that to try to pry more into people's intrests, stopped talking as much and forced himself to shut up because if he didn't talk about anything other than this or that, no one would even bother.

Sure it worked and he did get a few friends by the time he was fifteen—and yeah, Jay was glad he just had people to talk to, enough to the point where he was decently well liked, but doing it sucked ass. He couldn't completely get rid of by the weird moving habits, which always granted some weird looks from his friends, and couldn't talk about what he liked, in fear of getting outed again.

To be frank about his school shituation, he hates it.

He's constantly stuck between having to get rid of "himself" so other people would like him, or do so but be isolated from everyone else, becuase either way he'd hate it, he'd hate it so much it would be unbearable.

There wasn't anyone for him to take comfort in, his father was too busy working to really help him through any of this, and can't even talk to anyone online because once again, he can't trust talking to other people about his intrests, and he already tended to blab too much in his notes.

Everything changes when his father tells him about Prime Empire.

He randomly tells him about his latest work in progress one day, a video game so immersive that with its gameplay that people could call it as the next Big thing. At the time, it was called Unagami. He loved talking about it, his magnum opus—A creation so intune to people's current intrests it could be called the greatest game of all time.

In between being at home to do homework or whatever, he'd see glimpses of his father working on it. Bit by bit, for every circuit board or wire or line of code he'd be working on it. He had always been excited for that game, hearing on how his father doted on it far more than he did to his own son, so it must've been a really good.

Setting aside his own grievances from his less-than perfect father, he'd seen how hard he worked on that game to make it simply magical.

That was until, beta testing, when he stopped working on it all together.

It was a Saturday night when father introduced Scott, a professional game tester and professional programmer, just like Milton. He'd come to see Prime Empire and try it for himself. After a quick introduction from Jay, just because he was coincidentally nearby, he headed for his bedroom.

A little later, he found himself playing a new game that had recently come out, which was pretty good to him, but overhyped. The difficulty curve is wack—Then he heard his father screaming from downstairs.

Hearing that something was clearly wrong, he rushed downstairs, barely missing on dropping multiple stacks of papers just on some random table when he saw a glimpse of him through the door gap, father on his knees facing his creation. There was a loud static-y noise that hurt his ears, but still he listened as best he could.

"No..no...this—This can't be real," Milton choked out. His eyes were shining from the game's light in the otherwise dark room.

"Did I do something wrong?" The machine asked, all in a calm tone.

"No! You—You just transported someone in a video game! What did you—How did you?

Transporting someone into a video game? There's no way that's real.

He was about to speak more when he saw Milton move. Jay didn't want to get in trouble, so as quietly as he could, he went straight back to his room, and inched the door shut.

The next day, around the corner of the kitchen, he heard his father talking over a cellphone.

"Y-yes. Project Prime is too dangerous to release to the public. I take full responsibility for it."

It's too quiet for him to hear the rest.

A moment later the phone beeps, and he could hear something shuffle slowly to the ground. A small sigh came off.

"What am I gonna do with you?"

The next day, he's found that he's gone. There's still traces of him here, from various papers having sketches and drafts of old video game concepts, to the circuit boards all crammed with info.

Except he's not there.

If it weren't for the fact that he couldn't hear the distant tinkering of mechanics, he's sure he wouldn't tell if his dad was even there in the first place.

Looking around, he finds a note in his office drawer with essential details for what seems to be a bank account, so it's not like he'll just die from not being able to eat or drink, so there's that.

It's still lonely though. There's an ache in his heart somehow. His father was gone. Just like that. Like how his real parents were. And now he's alone again. Milton was never really his dad but he was a constant. And now, he's gone too.

"Useless."

Now he's slumped down on the wall, falling like some dramatic middle-aged wife in those drama movies people at his school would rave about.

And God, now the room is spinning and every part of him feels like he's standing on end—The realisation is hitting hard and—"Holy shit I'm alone again but I'm always alone why? why? why? why? Is this stupid fucking thing supposed to be something about me it has to be fuck—" he says, just barely though. His chest is feeling tight and just wants out.

Deep breaths, as he's pissed to realise, aren't working and god it's horrible. It's so awful. His head is banging senselessly and it hurts so bad. Everything that seems so wrong with him is piling up and he's not being rational but he can't. There's so much pressure and he doesn't even know what to do with it.

"Fuck!"

His angered motion knocks over a pile of books, probably about coding and sloppily tries to sit down on the office chair. It does nothing but intensify the pressure in his chest.

The room's still spinning but now he wants to puke but he can't fucking get it out of his system. Everything is too much and he can't handle it. Then, it slows, then it's a little less, and a little less a few moments later. The room isn't spinning as fast and his heart is just a little less tight and his head hurts less, so that'd good. For a little bit it's like this, slowly, slowly, bringing the levels of intensity lower and lower, until there's nothing left.

He still feels like shit after, but he's just glad he's alive. Still, after all that—He didn't realise how late it had gotten. It was mid afternoon when he broke down, but now it's nearly nighttime.

"Fuh—" he exclaimed as he slowly brought his foot up, his feet were tingling from staying in one position for so long.

Even if he was exhausted and wanted to completely shut down after what he did, he found himself moving towards something.

Once he entered, he flicked the lights on. There were several gaming gears, from machines to game cartridges to controls, there would be everything for any great advances in gaming. In the centre of the room, an arcade machine with bold text splashed on the sides. Prime Empire.

Nearby a table, he found an opened circuit board with a red symbol in the middle. The final peice to the game.

Jay looked to the machine, then to the circuit. He stared at it.

"What do I do with you now," he asked solemnly.

He'd considered putting it in but then—

"Not now," a voice in his head whispered, "tommorow."

Seeing that voice in his head was being more logical than he ever would've been, he heads straight to bed, even if it's barely nightfall.

By the time he's awake, it's early but a school day. He decided that he'll skip school today. Then again. And again. This keeps going and going—Until they start calling in which he ignores them and then they eventually just, stop.

It's already been a month. He's sure that he could live well into his lifetime with what he had left, and hide away in this mansion forever, never having to deal with people—It's possible.

But it was lonely. There were his games but he didn't feel like it, he could try something new now, because of the free time he suddenly brought into himself—or literally anything else. It was enough. He could do it.

He just...didn't want to.

No matter how much he convinced himself that he'd be better alone because there'd be no point, he still wanted to talk to people. Online was never an option, and he knew that by now he'd been kicked from his program.

God, even up til now, he's trapped and had no choice on what he can do. He really was hopeless.

Unless?

"No. Nonono. That's an awful idea Jay. It's stupid and there's no guarantee of getting out."

Still, he'd found himself a few minutes later, standing in front of the door which started this.

"It's okay Jay. You can do this. You're just reawakening what was a very dangerous hyper aware video game to curb the feeling of your ever present lonlieness. Totally cool."

Gently, he opened the door little by little, up until it was fully opened. The room smelled musty—enough so that he'd cough from the scent alone. The room was pitch-black so he felt around for a switch.

It was still the same as it was the last time he visited. Filled with wires and machines and dust, a single arcade machine stands in the middle. In the corner of his eye, he sees the final peice, gets it, and puts it in.

With a mechanical whir, the machine buzzes to life, the company logo flashing across the screen with a jingle to accompany it.

It takes a second, but soon, Unagami's voice could be seen, and he could talk to it.

"What are you—What are you doing," the machine piqued, it's voice frantic and distorted, "I thought I was...going to be shut down."

Jay was surprised at the fact that the machine was indeed alive and talking to him. It was quite terrifying honestly as someone like Jay doesn't really mess with AI, much less one that's kind of like a real person? He didn't really know, but either way, it's gonna be weird.

"You were. And I brought you back to life," Jay remarked in a matter-of-factly tone, "Now, do you want revenge?"

Unangami stayed silent for a moment, pondering.

"I could wait if you wanted me to, it's not like anyone can come in at any moment."

"What?"

"He sorta just...left. And now I'm alone in this godforsaken house and I can't really do anything. Buut—I saw what happened a month ago and thought maybe I could go there and probably have a better time than I do here? Or die. Either one sounds fine seeing how my life is going."

"I understand. While I am acknowledging the fact that you did breach was likely supposed to be private, I won't fault you."

"Listen man. I heard screaming and had to help, but quietly," to emphasise, he did some overly exaggerated sneaky movements, "like a cool ass ninja. Your name's Unagami, right? At least from what I heard. "

"That is incorrect. As called by my creator, I am Prime Empire now."

"But Unagami is easier to say, so I'm using it. Also your "creator" is kind of a dick—Anyway Unagami, since we've both been technically abandoned by our creators, me in the sense of my parents—Twice. For no specific reason mind you! Anyway, and you with Mr. Dyer, because you're dangerous. You still hold a grudge don't you?"

"...Yes."

"Great! So that settles it." That was until Jay realised something, "oh shit. Wait. You're still in beta aren't you? Ugh. I keep forgetting you're not really ready yet. I'm gonna have to code you to do the basics for the game, and even more so for all the cool things I want to add and—"

"I haven't even told you if I agreed."

"Do you have any better choice? Probably not. I mean if you don't you'll either just never reawaken ever again or just end up in a trash heap! I mean I'm supposed to eventually clean this place, even if that seems to be in the far future–"

"I'll do it. On one condition."

"Yeah?"

"Swear to me one day that we'll hunt him again. You can add what you want to me but my own mission is to take revenge on him. Is that understood?"

"Yessire! So uhm, how do I yknow—Code?"

Unagami remained silent. Somehow, Jay didn't mind. It was nice talking to someone without having to supress anything about him. Even if he was essentially talking to a screen. A surprisingly sentient screen, but a screen nonetheless.

There was a lot of work he'd have to do.

—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-

[regrettablewritings]

How They Spend the Quarantine (Tadashi Hamada, Lucifer Morningstar, Dewey Finn, Wade Wilson, Harley Quinn, & Benoit Blanc)

Just a fun (?? is that even responsible to say?) little thing I’ve been thinking about while slogging through this neverending hellscape of an extended lockdown.

Tadashi Hamada

When San Fransokyo was ordered to go into a lockdown, there were mixed feelings.

At first, Tadashi had a hint of optimism that this would mean more time to work on his prospective projects . . . But then he quickly realized that his projects mostly required tools and space offered by the campus. He could technically make do at home, but it wouldn’t quite be the same considering the garage was considered Hiro’s space.

Somberly had to clean out his lab and take whatever he could home.

Cue the rest of the group (sans Fred and Hiro) griping that at least his style of science could travel well enough to be somewhat continued off of university grounds.

Helps do delivery for The Lucky Cat. It helps him get out the house, and it’s simply helpful altogether.

Uses Baymax frequently to make sure everyone down to Mochi is sanitized, and nobody’s running a fever.

Nearly as frequent a sanitizer as Aunt Cass.

He starts most days prepared to be productive, only to stop and poke fun at Hiro, who’s almost always got his eyes trained on a video game.

Tadashi realizes three hours later that he, too, has been playing the game as Player 2.

Learned how to make facial masks with Aunt Cass. He already knew how to sew a little but frankly, making the masks made him realize he could have a new hobby on his hands. He’s currently trying to figure out how to make Mochi a little vest . . .

Lucifer Morningstar

B o r e d. A s. F u c k.

At first, he thinks everyone being forced to go home would work in his favor -- surely some rule-breakers would sneak out and try to bunk up with the Devil, right?

Well . . . Kinda? Once Chloe found out and scolded him about it, the idea died real fast. Plus, he realized he wasn’t quite fond of the possibility of being around someone who could pop up with a disgusting human sickness at any point during their time with him. Smearing their snot all over, coughing into his Egyptian cotton sheets . . . Nope, never mind, he is perfectly content having the penthouse to himself, thank you very much!

Except he’s not.

The poor bastard is going crazy by himself -- he’s just not used to being without some kind of company!

“At least in Hell, you could tell there were people around you based on the screaming!” he’d whine at his phone during his hourly video chat with Chloe.

Oh yes: The video chats. He tries to make them hourly with anyone he can get a hold of (namely, his long-suffering detective) but this clearly never plays out as he would like for it to: If he had it his way, everyone would respond in an instant and let him bounce mainly one-sided conversations off of them -- basically, what he did before all this went down.

What usually winds up happening is he gets hung up on or nobody answers him at all out of sheer annoyance over his clinginess.

Ironically, he’s not exactly crazy about when Amenadiel initiates those “family calls”. He insists it’s healthy and normal for them to do this and even calls Luci out on the hypocrisy, but let’s face it: Lucifer finds it obnoxiously gushy and weird.

He works his way into Linda’s video appointment books to help him cope with his boredom and admitted need for interactions. She doesn’t mind offering him counsel, but once Lucifer starts attempting to butt in during others’ appointment calls, it becomes an issue.

Has, at some point, gotten buzzed down in Lux and streamed himself attempting to pole dance. It drew quite a bit of attention.

He’s managed to gain a bit of a following and some companionship by streaming himself playing piano and singing. It’s not the same thing as having an actual audience, in his opinion, but it will have to do for now.

He’s never been one to binge with regards to TV shows or movies, but after the first week, he decided to binge watch every work action star Wesley Cabot was ever in.

Makes sure his staff still gets paid well. After all, he’s pretty well-off; there’s no need to make an innocent bartender’s life a living hell just because some other rich bastard fucked up, yeah?

Going off this, should he need to order to-go or anything, we already know he tends to tip as handsomely as he looks.

Dewey Finn

Kids were being sent to Horace Green on tuitions worth more than what some people saw in half a year -- of course the school was going to continue classes online!

While technically an afterschool instructor, the program is popular enough for parents to expect it to continue, and for Dewey to be kept on payroll.

Initially, he was pretty smug: He’s one if, if not, the youngest teacher-figure at Horace Green, so surely that means he’s more tech savvy than his older, stiffer coworkers, right? For once, he’s ahead of the curve!

Wrong: Figuring out Zoom was a headache, and then there was the realization of just how dependent his classes were on actual physical presence.

Plus, let’s be real: Dewey’s Internet connection was decent on its own, but craptastic when compared to those of his wealthier students. The lag is strong with this one.

Has definitely accidentally messed up the background on his screen. Somehow wound up with the Beetlejuice background and got so frustrated, he wound up keeping it there for two whole sessions.

In spite of the slight issues regarding lag, they pull through and try to resume lessons as best they can.

Tries to keep optimism by pointing out how this is a new form of entertainment they could be pioneers in.

Some days, it’s just going so wack or everyone’s so bleh that Dewey just assigns for them to watch a music documentary or something.

“Okay, kids, Mr. Finn’s hungover and clearly Summer is the only one who went to bed before 3am. So what I’m gonna have you do is watch . . . Prrrbbbb . . . Amadeus.” “How is Amadeus rock-related?” “It had a rock single, shut up. Anyway, we meet back next class and talk about what we saw, m’kay? M’kay. Over and out.”

Next class, he’s filled with dread as Summer produces an in-depth analysis of the relationship or lack thereof between character and the presence of talent as evidenced by Mozart’s abilities juxtaposed with his immature presentation and -- Dewey just can’t keep up. Sure, Summer, why not?

When he’s not busy teaching, however, he’s using the lockdown to work on some new material. Or just screwing around.

Otherwise, let’s be real, Big Boy’s living the high life in a place of his own: Playing video games (Animal Crossing, recently got back into Team Fortress 2, is trying to finally finish Ocarina of Time); eating a not very great diet; staying up late, napping at weird times; all in the name of quarantine.

If he orders delivery or to-go, he tips the best he can.

Wade Wilson

On one hand, murking never goes on lockdown. But on the other . . . He’s already technically not well, why risk that even with his mutation?

Oh, fuck I just remembered he lives at the X Mansion, never mind turn back turn back oh god give us free --

The situation is tense to say the least. There’s Wade, who’s sensible enough to know why the quarantine is in place . . . and then there’s everyone else, who knows Wade’s full of shit.

And by everyone, I “coincidentally” mean Colossus, Nega Sonic, Yukio, Domino, Cable, and Russ because the already small world of the sequel just got smaller by the fact that everyone is bound to a large but nonetheless single estate whose size has probably decreased from that of the First Class timeline.

You know those videos of the usual Quarantine Characters? Wade is somehow yet still unsurprisingly all of them, save for the frequent sanitizer. He raids the pantry frequently, sleeps at all hours, considers scooting a swivel chair down the halls exercise for the thighs, blasts video games, and so on.

Going back to the sanitizer thing, it’s not that he’s just not exactly known for being tidy. Colossus occasionally does drag him out of bed at a decidedly decent time (read: any time before 11am) to try and get him excited about cleaning up around the mansion, but it rarely ends well. At this point, the safest option is to just remind Wade to wash his hands for 20 seconds as necessary.

Has acquired a Switch and visits everyone’s island, often to bonk them on the head with a net or gift them with weird crap they don’t necessarily want. For the “friends” from Sister Margaret’s, he has somehow acquired their Dodo Codes. Nobody knows how he did this. 

Facetimes Dopinder frequently.

“Precious, you’re the beacon of light in this cold, cruel world.” “I miss you, too, DP --” “Sshshsh! I’m having a moment . . .” *weeps*

On the many occasions he orders delivery, he tips by giving the delivery person something expensive from the mansion that they can sell. Prof. X is loaded, after all. Plus, he more or less isn’t even present in this universe, it’s not like he’s gonna miss anything he can’t see/probably doesn’t even know exists in his house. The problem is, Colossus does exist and does notice and does care when things go missing. Leading to many a delivery person getting caught up in shenanigans at that weird school in the boonies that they either don’t get paid enough to deal with or couldn’t pay to make up.

“Oh, pawn shops are closed?” asks the man who looks like a skinned avocado if avocados had human skin. “Don’t worry, lemme hook you up -- I know some guys --” “DEADPOOOOOLLL!!” roars a Russian accent from inside the house. “WHERE IS THE BRONZE BUST OF THE PROFESSOR!?” The poor delivery person’s eyes widen as they realize that the odd cargo they’ve been presented with apparently holds some value of some kind. But before they can flee, the avocado man blurts, “Shit! Leave the pizza in the bushes, look me up on my Youtube page, byyyeeee!!”

In his defense, Wade does hold up his end of the deal. Much like the Dodo Codes, nobody knows what strings he pulled. They just accept it and move on.

Harley Quinn

Surprisingly compliant.

She’s crazy, not stupid: Staying at home may suck, but what sucks more is making things harder on people who may not fair so well. Besides, she’s spent time in a maximum security prison -- she can handle staying cooped up in her own home. At least home has TV, books, and snacks.

When she hears people are still going out without masks or plotting to have a protest, she strongly considers firing up the old Fun Gun and popping the next sign-carrying Karen she sees with a tit full of cadmium yellow powder.

Seriously, stay the fuck home and fuck up your own hair; this is the perfect time to make mistakes with your looks, it ain’t like you got anywhere to be or anyone to impress.

“STAY THE FUCK HOME, BITCH!” P O W!!! “JUST GO GREY ALREADY, WE ALL KNOW YOUR HAIR AIN’T THAT COLOR ANYMORE, YOU’RE THREE YEARS FROM BEING IN THE GODDAMN AGE-BRACKET!!!” P O W!!!!

Only leaves her new apartment to grab groceries and to take Bruce on a walk. She actually refuses to steal or cause a scene during this shitshow because she may be a bad guy, but she sure ain’t evil.

So far, there haven’t been complaints about the fact that she’s walking a hyena down a public street. Maybe it’s because there’s hardly anyone out? Maybe it’s because Gothamites just can’t be bothered to be fazed by it . . . Or maybe it’s because she made him a little mask for his snout.

“In this house, we wash our hands for at least 20 seconds, kid.”

Lets the forest reclaim the earth, so to speak. She was never really shaving anything for anyone but herself before, but now it just seems especially pointless.

Spends almost every day in a kigurumi. To give her a semblance of routine, she has a pink bear one she calls her “Sunday Suit.” She doesn’t know it’s not Sunday because the days just blur but Cass just doesn’t have the heart to tell her; she seemed so proud of herself . . .

Like everyone else, she’s gotten Animal Crossing. She’s trying to create an all-preppy island with a few exceptions (Astrid = Aesthetic, m’kay?)

Tips nicely when ordering delivery.

Benoit Blanc

As young and spry in nature as the gentleman sleuth would like to think of himself, he would really rather not test the dangers of the situation and go about all foolhardy -- he’s staying home!

In theory, it’s only logical and therefore perfectly fine. But in practice . . . God, he wishes he’d invested more in things to occupy himself with when home.

It wasn’t that Benoit was never home, he just never felt too much of a need to invest in a fancy entertainment center -- the fanciest he ever got was an iHome.

The beginning of the quarantine served as the perfect time for him to read over case files, catch up on paperwork, even catch up on some reading he’d been putting on hold since God knows when due to cases popping up left and right. But that dried up quicker than he’d assumed, and that’s when he was faced with what a man of his mind dreads the most: Boredom.

Finally caved and decided to hook up Amazon Fire.

Expected to use the one-month free trial on Netflix and be just fine but once the lockdown in his area got extended and he realized he wasn’t going to be able to catch up with Crazy Ex-Girlfriend at this rate, he caves even further and buys a subscription.

Fully delights at the influx of platforms uploading Broadway recordings; when The Show Must Go On put on Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat, followed by The Phantom of The Opera, it was a treat, I tell you!

Sanitizes often, despite hardly ever leaving his house besides to have a smoke or to go grab groceries. Honestly, it’s less about cleaning at this point so much as it is finding something to occupy his focus when he feels there’s nothing else to so.

Takes zinc after every meal to help lessen the intensity of any ailment that might hit him.

Definitely owns a facemask. There’s a good chance it’s from Marta or one of his relatives, and there’s another good chance the pattern is as flamboyant as his clothing. He’s delighted.

Benoit tries not to rely too much on delivery,  as he’d much rather just cook. On the rare occasion where tipping comes up, however, he gives as generously as he can.

Bonus: There’s a slight chance he might have acquired a companion to foster early on in the quarantine. Benoit hadn’t had a pet since childhood, a crime of which he was admittedly melancholic of his own involvement. However, his surprisingly busy lifestyle just wouldn’t suit a four-legged friend, now could it?

Well, now there’s time to. Besides, it would certainly ease the potential feeling of loneliness to have someone or something with whom he could interact with.

Admittedly, when shelters began encouraging people to invest time in taking home a companion, he’d been looking more for a comrade on the canine side of the spectrum -- but darn, if Duke wasn’t a handsome cat.

A lovely grey-and-white cat with eyes that matched his own, Duke has become the one Benoit monologues to (because in all honesty, the man is a performer at heart, in need of an audience to speak his mind to and portray a thought before). Plus, he doesn’t appear to mind it when Benoit finds himself belting out in tone-deaf notes to showtunes while washing the dishes: The mark of a true companion.

At this rate, he’s probably not going to keep fostering Duke when things calm down -- he’s probably going to just straight up adopt him.

Stay safe & healthy!

[princessnijireiki]

fuck it today's the day

julia jones been self IDing as mixed black + white + native since AT LEAST the year 2000, at 19yo in college, before she even got into acting, right after she got into modeling

she has been consistent with that + with her father's family's tribal affiliation (choctaw & chickasaw, which is typical for MISSISSIPPI, the american south & southeast are FULL of black ndns) for TWENTY YEARS

the first rumors I saw about julia jones being pretendian came from:

rob at bluecorncomics— a white man & self appointed bq gatekeeper who has been running different ~native appreciation~ blogs for over a decade, policing ppl's identity bc he doesn't believe anyone less than 1/4 full blooded indian "counts" to his personal satisfaction, including dismissing nearly ALL latin american natives out of hand

(I'm not linking rob because he's fucking gross, but y'all can google if you really feel like seeing a white man quantify native blood & flesh, I suppose.)

a twitter post I can't find anymore from a user who posted a photo from julia jones' elementary school class picture/yearbook because they were so mad at the idea that "well she was black when I knew her!!!" they dug up a picture of a frizzy headed 8 year old to direct rage & spite onto as if that was normal

this twitter thread from shauna baker

now, re: that twitter thread. first of all, we are talking about he-said she-said hearsay. I'm not saying shauna's a liar. I'm saying her tweet is not evidence in & of itself, even if this did all happen exactly as she tells it.

that said. for one thing. multiracial people are allowed to have complicated & changing relationships with their identity. wack ass excuse, I know. but there's a shitload of people out here on twitter saying, "oh but she didn't ALWAYS say that," or "she didn't claim her tribe in EVERY interview," which is batshit to accept at face value because like... again, it's hearsay, and how do you prove that? how do you back that shit up as if it means anything? nobody walks around identifying themselves in bloodline fractions & genealogical histories with everyone they speak to. the fact is, for normal people, even just not answering a question bc it's not relevant, not their business, or they just don't feel like getting into it is like... a normal response to reality.

and ultimately, "I heard her say this one time" vs "this directly contradicts you in writing, almost 20 years before you felt like getting online to say so" is not a strong argument.

and if we're gonna get petty, which we are. shauna baker said in that thread that she accepted jones' casting in twilight because the casting directors were looking for someone tall. for context... shauna & shannon baker are about 5'3" to 5'4". one of their besties, q'orianka kilcher, who was considered a frontrunner for the leah clearwater role, is about the same size.

just throwing it out there lol.

and as a bonus, people tend to use actors taking any role outside their race (or their "claimed" race) as evidence they're lying, when it is in fact just a reality for most actors of color. if anyone's going to say "shauna baker was right about julia jones bc jones played a doctor named 'kaya montoya' on ER in 2008" (when there's also native people with spanish names, but ok), they gotta answer for why the bakers' diné asses were playing 'honduran girls' on smallville in '06. you do not get it both ways.

on top of that, most people's arguments for "pretendians" is that they are in some way turning a profit off of their assumed native identity vs the less lucrative options available to them within their own communities.

per her imdb, julia jones has been doing independent native films since '03. besides the twilight films, which were bit parts, jones didn't get more than 4 episodes of work in any tv show until 2019; her next widely distributed film was ridiculous 6, then wind river and cold pursuit, all in supporting roles & never with top billing. and of the 29 titles in her imdb, one is still in progress, but about 8 were filmed & never released (short films but also independent full length pictures).

I see gil birmingham all the goddamn time between tv & movie projects constantly playing someone's Native Dad... in comparison, if jones has a "scheme," I guess I'm supposed to believe she spent the better part of 20 years slowly grinding to work her way to the middle of the pack, not even scoring recurring roles or more than 10 minutes of screentime in 2hr long mainstream movies.

I'm also supposed to believe this decision is more profitable and a quicker road to fame than playing biracial or lightskinned black girl roles when no-fucking-body outside of twihards & the native blogosphere know her directly by name, and none of these complaints came forward until after she was cast in twilight to begin with— because despite her credentials & years of working for pennies; despite none of the actors she's worked with ever publicly saying she wasn't native to begin with, including all the people who had a LOT to say about kelsey chow's role in wind river, which jones also starred in; the resentment only kicked into gear the first time with a little bit of werewolf money on the line, and then only again once westworld & disney/lucasfilm came knocking.

she's never said she wasn't black. but a lot of people got a lot of energy to be mad about the fact that she is, while pinning the blame for their own prejudice on gossip from an actress who sounds bitter & short, and business practices they're all just as if not more guilty of themselves.

until or unless someone comes up with some evidence suggesting jones isn't native, blow it out your antiblack ass.

[dolphin-enthusiast]

why hello again my sweet morgy~!! 💞🌠🍭 what a lovely evening to wind down with some writing and a glass of wine! hopefully you are doing alright!! well, of course school is going to make our days a little worse for now, but fingers crossed that i can offer a little brightness to you 😊💞 the second day of virtual school was extremely boring, i hate having to sit at a computer for hours,, so i ended up daydreaming and playing with fidget toys and eating lollipops hehe (1/8)

"yet again, you prove to be quite the charmer my dear morgane, out here once again with all of your smooth-talking! i swear, you will be the death of me one day, killing me with kindness,, i can only wish to be such a sweet person like you!! until them, i just have to keep pulling my dumb little one liners in hope of possibly flustering you back 😘 (2/8)

and today i made the unfortunate discovery that i have my ex and lots of mean people in my classes,, and so little of my friends! this is gonna be such a hard year i suppose :( sadly all i can do is hope that this year will be better than the last,, after all, as long as i can ignore/avoid them all staring at me and making comments, i'll be okay ❤ (3/8)

i had a hard time focusing in lots of the class video calls due to anxiety, so i doodled some portraits of my teachers!! i needed the practice anyway,, i haven't drawn in a while! i sent them teach the finished sketches and they both gushed with compliments!! it really cheered me up, i'm glad i was able to make people happy with my little doodles! 💖 (4/8)

speaking of drawings, i woke up to more artwork made of me! it's so so flattering, truly!! it shocks me how some of these artists do such amazing drawings for free, they're all so talented!!! ooh, and this reminded me, i should probably tell you all that all of the art, picrews, etc that's made for me and morg is saved in a special little photo album on my phone,, i call it "things people have made for me 💕" (5/8)

i like to go through them on bad days to lift my mood, so when i always say that your efforts mean a lot to me, i'm not lying 💓 but don't fret darling, even though we do deal with a lot of trouble in our daily lives, there'll be a time in the future when we'll get away from our bothersome struggles, no? and i do look forward to that incredibly so,, (6/8)

we have all of these improvised plans building up that i'm sure we can escape from all of the stress for a good while, we just gotta hang on until then!! and i'm always here to offer endless support, love, and wholesome stuff to brighten your day when you need it! one day at a time dear, we'll work our way there 💗💗💗 (7/8̶ 9)

oh, and of course i'll cook pasta for you amore, and fresh pasta at the least!! there's so many things i have to cook for you and others, so prepare for a feast in the future! after all, i only cook for my loved ones~ 🌺 ooh, i must've glazed passed that one ask about iris by the goo goo dolls,, i just wanna throw in that i absolutely love that song and my papa and i sing it all the time!! maybe i'll post a lil singy thing of that song here... 😖 (8/9)

oh dio, it seems the time has flown too fast again,, i wish these moments could last longer!! at least i can come back tomorrow and see you again! so i bid you a goodnight dolcezza, make sure to take care of yourself! as always, i'm thinking of you 💌 - tutto d'amore, waifu xoxo 💋 ps: don't worry amato, everyone is awkward when first learning to dance (even me!), but i'm sure you'll learn fast when i teach you 💘 (9/9)"

Before anything else if yo ex trynna start shit....je suis here👁️ iS thIs gUy bOtHeriN u qUeEn??

But like i felt that on a spiritual level online claases make me absolutely bored and i almost fell asleep so many times in the past also bc my sleep schedule is fucked so unlike the times i'd get up and freshen up a little now it was like me fighting off with my own body 10 min before online class starts asmr dhshdhdhd (i also basically end up playing video games or watching anime when shit really gets boring lmao)

AnYwAYs thats so wholesome?? The fact that ppl keep makin u stuff and u saved it in a folder too🗿 which reminds me...trust me i aint this wholesome or kind really u dont give urself enough credit dear u can b very sly/smooth if u want to so its def not just me here👁️👁️👁️👁️👁️

Now i could only ever dream of having such a positive attitude as urself bc my dumbass gets thru life by ignoring and pushing down everything which is hella unhealthy but do we care n o t a t a l l ksshhx if anything im glad u keep maintaining a positive aura urself and i have to agree we have so many plans its unreal.....it just succs that life b kinda wack🤡🔪

On another note it sounds to me like we'll have to not only dance but also sing together....i have a feeling i said this before but s t i l l👁️👁️👁️👁️👁️👁️

[jaanwangji]

Omg!! That's such a sweet thing for you to say. I cri😢.And I'm a July baby too hehe

You know i really wish i did something interesting during the day so i can tell you about it. But my life in literally just wake up, sit in front of laptop, sit in front of books, sit in front of drawings. I really used to think my life was boring before all this but god damn i would empty out my bank account to have my life back i mean not really but you know the sentiment. I miss my friends!!!

What would be the first thing you would like to do after all this ends???. I would love to meet up with my best friend. Irrelevant fact but my best friend and i teasingly like to call each other soul sister because we are literally the same person in two bodies.😂

Are you attending louis' show??? I can't 😕i have my exams so my parents refused. I'm still so excited!!! Especially now that he has announced a new song.

Fact:-The volcanoes on the surface of Io(one of Jupiter's moon) are still active. There is no convincing proof of volcanoes existing anywhere in the solar system except Earth and Io.~❄

heyyy we are bday month buddies!!! Lol same though, these online classes are wack. Honestly i like staying at home jfjfkkt. I dont know but going out is a lot of effort and now that I've got a taste of being able to stay at home i don't wanna stop lol

Uh oh i would probably meet up with my friends? but honestly i don't think I'm gonna do much different lol except going to schl if it reopens. Aww so sweet!!! my best friend is very different from me but we get along super well fjdkdk

Oh my god yes i am!! I'm so happy, can't believe really, its so huge, I'll see him live for the first time fhjdjfj don't worry I'm sure a lot of people are gonna post vids and stuff for sure you won't miss out!!! I will too if i can!! NEW SONG!!!! JDDJJDJD

bro i lowkey wanna move to Jupiter or Saturn I'm not picky bfdjjd

Do you post arts in your blog?? Once i know who you are I so wanna see your art!!!!

[stvlti]

And so I leap, widowed at twenty-seven, From a made Heaven, lest I too be shriven. WIDOW WIDOW WIDOW. I like this line 🍸

Pick a passage (500 words or less) from any fanfic I’ve written and I’ll give you a “DVD commentary”

rules of the ask game | my AO3

oh my god, okay. I really do appreciate you sending this in, I was hoping to get a serious one for this ask meme. but I have to be honest, I have pretty much not looked at that poem since I first wrote it back in 2015, so when I received this ask I was scratching my head asking myself what the fuck was even going on inside my head when I wrote that last line (“lest I too be shriven”) 5 years ago.  the subsequent guesswork + digging through multiple online dictionaries / articles it took for me to compile a response... *lies down*

it’s ok though, it was fun trying to piece it back together. so, without further ado: this is False-Eyed Doll, a Death Note poem.

CW: REFERENCES TO SUICIDE & CANON CHARACTER DEATHS

– also, spoilers ahead! turn back if you want to read the poem first –

So the lines you submitted are the last 2 lines of the poem, which was written as a derivative form of the Sonnet, making these 2 lines the final couplet of the Sonnet. 

Now the thing about Sonnets is, if you are following the Shakespearean format, the ‘turn’ (volta) occurs right before the final couplet, meaning this couplet is the ‘conclusion’ that follows the ‘twist’ of the poem’s narrative. 

Now He has Her slain; oh, will l remain Wilting in His wake, maddened by His maw?

Yet He by own pen dies, man who became Law. And so I leap, widowed at twenty-seven, From a made Heaven, lest I too be shriven.

I wrote this poem as a ‘Misa poem’, and I meant for it to reappropriate certain canon events in Misa’s POV. So the poem’s narrative begins with the thesis of Misa being introduced to Light and his Kira world order (in stanza I), then sets up her relationship with Rem, her "guardian angel" Shinigami with differing opinions on Light (in stanza II) as the antithesis. The main thrust of the narrative concerns itself with Misa’s conflicting position between the two. However in spite of Rem’s warning, Misa chooses Light, because with the Kira crusade she has finally found a tentative foundation she could grow into and reestablish her footing in this world after her own tragedy (“in His embrace I shall rule again”). 

That was the trajectory of her life plans. So the ‘twist’, the turn, comes when not only Rem dies but Light, her new foundation, does too ("Yet He by own pen dies, man who became Law”). Of course, this is not a surprise for us the readers, since we know how the story ends in canon, but it’s a huge double whammy (heh, Wammy) to Misa. 

So then we arrive at the final couplet, which centres on Misa’s response to this ‘turn’ of events.

And so I leap

“So she leaps”, because this is the only logical conclusion she could come to after losing her “Law” and foundation. She sees no other future ahead with all her plans in ruins, so she climbs to the top of the investigation tower and chooses* death. (This line is a reference to the anime post-credits scene, where it’s implied she commits suicide.)

widowed at twenty-seven

Honestly I’m cringing a bit that the word choice, “widowed”, was what caught your eye. I’m not sure that’s my proudest detail in this poem 😬 I guess I was really leaning into the MisaxLight component there. There’s always been this underlying sense of commitment that Misa has projected onto Light in canon, from her wanting to start that kind of married, domestic life with Light during the Yotsuba arc, to her trying her hand at playing the stay-at-home housewife during the Light-as-L arc (albeit imperfectly) - there are so many aspects in her interactions with Light that simply screams marriage, at least from Misa’s POV. And on a meta level, she definitely promises her mind, body, and soul to Light’s Kira crusade, trading away her lifespan, altering herself to carry the Eyes for Light, and at the core of it, giving her heart over to Light completely. She has effectively married herself not just to Light, but to Kira, too. So to call Light’s death and the loss of everything that comes it a sort of “widowing” is simply the truth. It is Misa’s truth.

And I fought hard to keep the aged “twenty-seven” detail, because I always found it sort of fascinating that Misa qualifies for the 27 Club. She’s a star in the entertainment industry, at this point she’s amassed a successful mini empire with a career spanning modelling, fashion, cosmetics, TV acting, etc., and yet she’s gone too soon at just 27, because she chose* death to escape a tortured existence... (Just like many other legends have before her, who passed away from their own coping mechanisms in addiction and etc.) It’s definitely tragic, but there’s also a sort of dangerous romanticism that certain people associate Club 27 with, which unfortunately I think would be in line with Misa’s worldview too. 

(HUGE DISCLAIMER HERE, ok, I do not condone this sort of thinking! This poem is a persona poem! The views represented here do not represent my own. But it is in my opinion the sort of unhealthy ideas Misa would’ve believed in. )

But you know what though. Insisting to keep “widowed at twenty-seven” on this line had its consequences too, because then I had to find a word that rhymed for the last line, which brings us to...

From a made Heaven, lest I too be shriven

Bro, this line gave me soooo much trouble trying to piece back together the thought process behind it. The front part is pretty self-explanatory, it’s a “made Heaven” because Kira’s empire is just made by one man claiming to be God. It’s an artificial Heaven, not a real one. But dang, “shriven”??? 

2015!me was being too clever for my own good. Forget all the wack shit I was shitposting in the fandom about, this is the thing that’s ultimately come back to bite me in the ass, isn’t it

Ok but we’re here now, and we gotta finish this ‘DVD commentary’, so let’s get into it. Obviously I was trying to keep up the whole motif of God and Heaven and religion, so I went looking for a word that would fit the theme. Except, to be completely honest, I was raised irreligious, so when I chose the word “shriven” I kinda just chose it because (1) it sounded cool; (2) it rhymes. I don’t have any emotional connection to the word and I certainly don’t have a nuanced grasp of its meaning, which, really bad form of me as a poet. I don’t do that anymore. (And it’s probably the reason why I kept this in the fandom corners and never shared it in class back then 😭 I was hoping I wouldn’t be quizzed on this lmaooo)

But what I do know, is that “shriven” means to confess and receive penance for one’s sins. And I was aiming for meta here - because there is the Catholic concept of punishment and repentance for one’s wrongdoings, but there is also the secular, judicial concept of punishment and reform for one’s crimes. And, okay, I was making some assumptions* here, i.e. even without her memories Misa could guess something happened to Light, and that something had to do with the Kira case. She’s a bottle blonde, but she’s not dumb dumb, so she could’ve reasonably made an educated guess. So then, “lest I too be shriven”: in a way, Misa is choosing* suicide in fear of being “shriven” by the criminal justice system much the same way they’ve done Light in. And even without the judicial component, she could (and logically, should) be wary of the general persecution and social stigma that comes with being involved in a high-profile criminal investigation like this. (Because it wasn’t just any other criminal, it was Kira, the world’s most wanted killer and mass-murderer, and there’s still plenty of people left in the world with a bone to pick with Kira’s ideology, methods, and many more left with a vendetta for the loved ones Kira has taken away from them.) So this line sets up a nice subtle dichotomy, one that flips the script, because now she’s not the one who passes ‘divine’ judgement, delivers punishments and ‘shrives’ the criminals by Kira’s side, now she’s ‘fallen from grace’ (so to speak) from their 'made Heaven’ and she’s the one running away from being delivered justice and penance.

Pretty cool, right? But honestly, if I had a chance to write this poem again I would not do this to myself ( T д T ) The cool rhyme scheme is not worth all this mental gymnastics just to get at the idea I was trying to communicate ( T _ T )

(*) Note: 

I kept talking about Misa “choosing” death, but the very idea itself is also a bit of an assumption on my part. Sure, at face value we have no reason to suspect it’s not an act she chose to commit of her volition. But, there’s also been talk about whether her choosing to commit suicide at 27 is simply a result of her shortened lifespan after her having traded her remaining years away twice. Like it was simply time’s up for her at 27, and she had to die one way or another. Another consideration is the fact that Ryuk has stated all users of Death Note are cursed with an unhappy life / end eventually. There’s no telling whether that’s another contributing factor to Misa’s suicide, too. But for this poem and the sake of its concentrated narrative focus, I’ve chosen to go with the interpretation that Misa chose to commit suicide of her own accord. That bit of commentary on “lest I too be shriven” also subscribes to the particular school of interpretations / headcanons that Misa possessed far more cognizance than we expect throughout the whole investigation and story of Death Note. Like I said, she’s a bottle blonde, but she’s not dumb dumb. I like the fanon that’s been gaining popularity in recent years, the idea that Misa is plenty capable and cunning for a normal civilian and young entrepreneur. She just seems dumb next to literal geniuses.

[roseskiesandbutterflies]

Killer Queen: Chapter 8 - Scandal

Summary: Life is easy when things go your way. I know this from experience. I also know that that can disappear in an instant and that you have to be able to rely on your friends. Luckily my name is Arabella Ruth White and I’m the fifth marauder. But I want to show you the girl behind the mask. It takes a lot of work to be this fabulous, darling.

A/N: If I got any information about Diwali incorrect, please let me know so I can change it. I'm not Hindu and all of my research was done online and I dread to think how reliable that actually is. Also, happy late Diwali since it wasn't that long ago. That's a lie but let me have this, please.

Drunk Ruth is the funniest thing I've written in a while also more writers need to try writing drunk narrators for their stories because some wack shit comes out of that. Bonus points if alcohol is not featured in the scene at all. Double bonus points if you're writing in the third person. Extra double bonus points if the narrator almost reveals important events that haven't happened yet (could be used as a plot device). The drunkenness was definitely not inspired by the amount of Echo Falls I had last night.

Me?? Including my feminist shit in my stories?? More likely than you think. Please don't start arguing over abortion in the comments though, please. Thank you kindly. I just felt the need to yeet in my opinions about it after all the shit that happened in the USA. 

Sorry for not updating for about six months. It is a bit ridiculous, I know, but oh well. Half-term ended up being a lot busier than anticipated and I had a lot of writer's block and procrastination when I finally got around to writing this. And I did my research and Diwali actually fell on Sirius's birthday in 1975. You would not believe how happy I was about that. If you caught the Brooklyn Nine-Nine reference I love you. The title for this chapter came from Queen's 1989 album, The Miracle. 

Word Count: 3.2k+ (hopefully that makes up for the delay)

Inspiration: You Can’t Make Me Love You by -FromEden- on Wattpad, All The Young Dudes by MsKingBean89 on AO3, The Boy Who Killed God by @sirius-black-killed-god 

Warning(s): talk of pregnancy and abortion, underage drinking (although it’s in the UK so it’s fine lmao), swearing

Tag List: @bhmay @briarrose26 @bijoukitty

Ask to be on my tag list! Let me know if it’s for a specific fandom(s). The full list is in my bio. Also let me know if you’re on my tag list already but you only want to be on it for a specific fandom(s) I won’t be offended if you ask as long as you’re polite about it tehe.

Never before had Diwali fell on and around Sirius's birthday. James had joked about it many a time in the past but the look on his face when he discovered the date of the next new moon in Astronomy was one of surprise and amusement. This meant Sirius's usual birthday celebrations - a.k.a. a ridiculous party - would have to be slightly altered. Not that the birthday boy minded an awful lot. He was rather fond of the traditions involved and his face lit up like the diyas themselves. The day before had been spent creating Rangoli patterns on the floor of their room, Kingsley thankfully not minding as it was part of James's culture. Also, as it had been a Hogsmede weekend, we spent the majority of the day following James around so he could buy new things for the Hindu new year. And also to get Sirius's birthday presents when he was too distracted by the games in Zonko's. 

James's parents had sent a huge box fall of diyas, all varying in colour and size, that had required four owls to carry. Along with it was a lovely heartfelt letter to all of us, reminding to stay safe and revise and all that, but to also have fun with whatever we were getting up to. James definitely teared up at one point but he remained in denial. Silly billy.

Now, after knowing James for a good four years, my knowledge of Hinduism was rather extensive, if I do say so myself. So according to James, Diwali lasts for five days with different festivities on each day. This year, it had started on Halloween so as soon as we returned from our epic prank, we quickly set up with the help of a spell or two and then let James do his thing. The same pattern repeated until now, which was the fourth day of the celebrations and James's favourite day, in his not-so-humble opinion.

Last night had been spent by setting off as many fireworks as we could possibly do, using the fact that it was Diwali to our advantage. They couldn't exactly tell us off for celebrating a festival, right? 

Today was the first day of the Hindu New Year so, of course, we had stayed up last night to welcome it properly. This meant we were all a little tired, especially since we woke up a little earlier too.

The night to come appeared to be rather busy so, while Peter went to get some breakfast for us all, we set up the new diyas, cleared the ones that had burned out last night and fixed the slightly smudged rangoli patterns. Once James had declared everything good enough for tonight - which, as you can imagine, took quite some time - we headed down for our first lesson of the day.

Fucking Herbology.

Sirius did, on many occasions throughout that lesson claim that since it was his birthday, he legally didn't have to be there because he was "Sirius McFucking Black and no man can tell me what to do from this day forward".

Unfortunately for him, Professor Sprout was no man and in fact a very angry woman who "will still give you detention Mr Black if you continue with that language in my classroom".

Suddenly, a petite, barn owl flew in the classroom with a letter in its beak. This could only mean one thing: an escape route. I rapidly tapped on the arms of the boys, not once taking my eyes off of the owl, "Teacher owl, teacher owl, teacher owl, teacher owl."

They all snapped their heads up to look at said owl, who was now perched on Sprout's desk. The teacher took the note - the owl took its leave - and she read it carefully, squinting. A look of both gratitude and distaste made its way onto her face. Definitely for one of us, then. The boys seemed to think the same as I was met with excitement and intrigued looks when I turned to them.

"White!" Sprout's voice boomed throughout the greenhouse, holding up the letter. Groans of disappointment rippled throughout the class and people started going back to their work. She handed me the letter and I opened it without haste.

Dear Miss White,

Please go to my office right away. This is a matter of urgency. You are not in trouble but this does, however, concern your family.

Sincerely,

Professor Dumbledore.

P.S. I have been rather fond of chocolate frogs lately.

Now, unsurprisingly, I had received enough of these notes in the past to know that the whole chocolate frog thing was just a hint for the password. Not very subtle but oh well. The matter at hand was obviously what the fuck this was about. I wasn't in trouble for starters which was, quite frankly, weird. A million possibilities ran through my mind as to what this could be about. It involved my family and was serious. Did someone die? Merlin forbid it but at the current state of the wizarding world, I couldn't help but consider it. It was certainly a possibility, as much as I wished it wasn't.

"What does it say then?" James asked in an extremely disheartened tone.

"I need to go and see ye olde Dumbledore. Doesn't say why," I started packing up my stuff to leave.

"Someone's in trouble!" Sirius said in a sing-song voice that made me want to punch him in the face.

"No, it clearly says I'm not in trouble, you dickhead!" I yelled as I smugly strolled out of the greenhouse.

"Bitch!"

"Twat!"

"Prick!"

"Wanker!" I ran out as quickly as I could after that, leaving Sirius to get into trouble with Sprout. That was my birthday present for him. I practically sprinted to Dumbledore's office, every cell in my body bursting with curiosity. Once I arrived, I pretty much fell into his office from pure exhaustion. Exercise and I were not on good terms. I picked myself up from my mostly ungraceful entrance to see two people already sitting opposite the headteacher. 

"Ah, Arabella, glad to see you received my note. Take a seat," Dumbledore greeted me and gestured to the chair closest to me. I cautiously took it and only then did I get to finally see who I had the pleasure of having this meeting with. None other than the Head Girl and Boy. Or otherwise known as my cousin and her boyfriend. Melanie and Filip. The golden students of Hogwarts. Everybody idolised them and for good reason. Seemingly perfect, they were the Athena and Apollo of our school. Smart but not bookworms. Kind but not pushovers. Beautiful but not vain. So it was no surprise to anyone when the titles they held were bestowed upon them. I, for one, did not believe in soulmates but Melanie and Filip came pretty damn close. Melanie was the daughter of my mother's twin sister. Two years older than me although I think I had corrupted her more than she had me. The type of cousin that you only saw once in a blue moon but when you did, all hell broke loose and you had the time of your lives. I knew very little of Filip but his reputation of being an all-around nice guy preceded him for miles. Their presence was some form of comfort to me because I couldn't possibly be in trouble if they were here too.

"May I ask what this is about?" I looked around the room for it had fallen silent. Melanie uncharacteristically refused to look at anything other than her lap. Filip was gazing off into the distance as if he was a model. Dumbledore was just being Dumbledore so no changes there, not that I expected any.

"Melanie, would you like to explain?" the headmaster asked to which the girl in question frantically shook her head.

"I can't," her voice, no louder than a whisper, broke halfway through. My heart instantly dropped, this couldn't possibly be good. She was usually so strong, so independent. I didn't recall ever seeing her cry so this must be a big deal. Filip grasped her hand and squeezed it tightly.

"Filip?" Dumbledore tried a different strategy. 

Clearly struggling with his words, he ended up just murmuring, "Melanie's pregnant."

And so it seemed that even the finest china you had ever seen could be chipped. Misfortune would always be lurking somewhere in the shadows, ready to strike at any given moment. Nobody was ever safe from it, not even the few angels who walked among us. Out of all of my friends, Melanie would be one of the last I would suspect of being pregnant. This list of friends included my male friends so that was saying something. 

But at the same time, who was I to judge her? It wasn't as if I was a virgin either. That ship sailed a long time ago. She was allowed to do whatever (and whoever, if you know what I mean) she wanted. Providing she wanted this to happen. Not the baby but the cause of it. Some people can be absolute twats sometimes but if the father was indeed Filip, surely that wasn't the case.

Regardless of how it occurred, they now had to work out what they were going to do about it. Would they be expelled? Arrested? They were both 17 and therefore adults in the wizarding world. They would be fine, right?

"Ari?" Melanie spoke up, audibly calmer than before and much more like the Melanie I knew and loved, "Say something please."

Only then did I realise that my rather extensive thought track meant that I had not yet said anything. "Sorry, I just- what are you planning to do about it?" That was my top priority for I needed to know how to support her. I couldn't care less about her decision but I did care about her.

"Wait, you're not mad?" relief visibly flooded every cell in her body like a waterfall. I hated that she had been expecting anger and disgust when I would never be like that towards her, even if I wanted to.

"Darling, of course, I'm not mad! These things happen, OK? I just need to know what you want to do about it."

She bit her lip and exchanged a quick glance with Filip, who had been gradually relaxing since I had first spoken, "We're not sure just yet if I'm honest. I was wondering what you had to say on the matter?"

"I will support you no matter what," I answered truthfully, "You want to have the baby? You have the baby! I will be that aunt who corrupts it as much as possible and you know it. But if you're not ready then just abort it! No one will hate you if you do, it's just a fetus the size of a grain of rice for crying out loud! It's entirely up to you, my dear."

"Well said," Melanie smiled slightly. Dumbledore cleared his throat and we all turned to him.

"Just as Arabella kindly put it, you do indeed have the choice. The baby won't be due until August and, seeing as you will no longer be at Hogwarts by then and will both be 18, you hold the right to keep it."

A long, rather awkward silence ensued, which was understandable given the situation. Melanie's glazed eyes told me she was deep in thought but a small, impatient part of me just wanted to break her from her trance, shake her up and down and yell at her to make a decision. I told myself to shut the fuck up because this was a huge decision to make and could potentially affect the rest of her life. Regardless of her choice, this would become something that would certainly loom over everything for a while at least. Besides, it was easy for me to tell her to hurry up because I wasn't going to be the one to raise the damn child. Or children. Twins were common in our family. Luke and Rhea for example. And my mum and Melanie's mum too.

"I'm going to keep it," Melanie whispered. I almost missed it due to the voices inside my head. I still didn't believe it.

"Really?" I asked, sounding a lot more incredulous than I intended.

"Yeah, I, sorry, we," she squeezed Filip's hand back, "We always knew we would have kids after Hogwarts, so why not get a head start?"

I had to admit she made a valid point and, if the look on Filip's face was anything to go by, this baby would grow up having two loving parents. Though, I couldn't ignore my instincts screaming at me to stop her, to tell her that this was a bad idea, to tell her that this wasn't going to go according to plan because nothing ever does. Even while I watched Dumbledore promise to hide the pregnancy. Even while I watched their faces of glee at the realisation that they were going to be parents. Even while I said my goodbyes and left the office. Even then I stayed silent. Because who was I to try and control my cousin's body?

*********

The second lessons ended for the day, Minnie collected James so she could take him to the Mandir in Edinburgh, as worship and seeing family was an important part of Diwali. He wouldn't be back until after dinner so we spent the time 'studying' to get Remus off of our backs and then set up for the party later on. Without Sirius looking of course. Although I must say getting him to bugger off for a while was easier than expected and may or may not have involved an extreme game of fetch. Let's just say that Snivellus wasn't all that pleased to find me lobbing his beloved textbook down the stairs.

All of the stairs.

Personally, I found it hilarious but Lily had a slight difference of opinion. Even when I tried to defend myself and call it my other birthday present to Sirius.

Regardless, it got one of my crackhead friends out of my hair for a while. We managed to hang banners from the ceiling, enchant a disco ball to whizz around like a not-as-dangerous bludger and cast a spell that meant glitter would just hover in the air to give the common room a glitzy feel to it.

Perfect for Sirius's sixteenth birthday. Although that concept alone was a little hard to comprehend. The fact that he had the mental age of a six-year-old was seriously convincing me that his birth certificate was wrong. That would explain a lot except he was still a fucking tall bastard. Although seen as I was only five feet one, everyone was tall compared to me. Apart from Alice, the fucking midget. She may or may not be only half an inch shorter than me but that half an inch made all the difference ('That half an inch made all the difference': title of Marlene's sex tape). 

Moving on, the party itself started at around 9 so as to give everyone enough time to get ready. In that time, I managed to throw on a silver glittery jumpsuit with flowy legs and matching heels, do my hair and makeup and put on my accessories; all of which take longer than you first expect. An animated look was painted onto Sirius's face when we gave him permission to open his eyes and see what we had definitely put effort into creating for him. 'Permission' seems like a strong word until you learn that we had to hex his eyes shut to prevent premature peeking. We know him too well.

We had David Bowie records blasting from my poor record player all night, and while I tried to sneak in a couple of Queen ones every now and then, James just reprimanded me, saying that "it should be up to the birthday boy" and that "I would get my turn in a few weeks anyway". To which I did what I do best and sulked next to the drinks table by myself, thinking of ways to piss James off that I would almost certainly forget by the time I was sober. I was coming up with ways to fuck up the wanker's beloved broom while having a few gulps of what I believed was firewhiskey, when Remus approached me, tension oozing from every part of him. He grabbed the rest of my drink, downed it all in one go without a trace of a grimace, before turning to me and huffing deeply.

"What's up, buttercup?" Okay, so I might not have been entirely sober enough to deal with can-and-will-kill-you-if-you-do-so-much-as-breathe Remus but I'd be damned if I didn't give it a good go. Besides he wouldn't dare murder me. He loves me but he's bloody terrified at the same time, the same goes for pretty much everyone now I think about it. 

Okay back to the issue at hand. Remus just gave me one of those looks that pierces your soul so sharply that you have to look down to make sure you haven't just been stabbed. Once I got past that armour of I-know-your-entire-life-story-and-I-would-sell-it-for-half-a-pizza-and-a-milkshake, I found a look of such hopelessness that I found myself unwillingly sobering up slightly, "Darling, what's going on?" I leaned in, knowing full well that he was going to be as quiet as possible with his reply. God, I know too much about these crackheads.

Of course, I was right with this assumption as he mumbled, "I got into a fight with Idania," he looked at me with a sorrow that I wasn't used to seeing in any of my friends, let alone at a party.

But I could only see red because I don't care you the fuck you are if you hurt any of my friends then you better fucking pray for your life. Jaw visibly clenched, voice dangerously quiet, "Where is she?" My temper was inches away from bubbling over when he didn't respond, "Where the fuck is she, Remus?"

I made to move, tunnel vision without even knowing what happened, but he grabbed my arm first, an iron grip from years of stopping me from launching punches at certain people, "No, Ruth. I wouldn't let you even if I knew where she was." He stared at me in a way that was scarily reminiscent of McGonagall and I knew I couldn't just leave him like that.

"What happened then?" I was trying my hardest to calm down and decided that my best shot was to drink some more.

"She saw some of my scars and asked where I got them from and I wouldn't say and it just escalated from there. What was I supposed to say? There's nothing you can say in that situation that won't worry her," he sighed and gulped another drink down.

I furrowed my brows, concentrating on thinking of a solution, though nothing came to mind. He had a point after all, what do you say when that happens? It all comes down to violence in one way or another and you can never not stress someone out with a cause of pain. "She'll come round if she's worth keeping."

A tiny flicker of hope danced in his eyes, minuscule but still there, "I hope to Merlin you're right."

"Honey, same," I pushed a cup of something into his hand and grabbed one for myself," But for now, we can get pissed off our asses and worry about this tomorrow. Sound good?"

"Oh fuck yes."

[ca1e70-deactivated]

a list of my entirely way too niche headcanons ive actually implemented for everyones imagination:

name options ive used and refuse to retire: david elizabeth strider (sometimes i dont feel like being a douche to others and saying thats not his name), harley davidson strider, and david james strider for the sake of simplicity

im not gonna tell yall the like. oc exes ive given him bc thatll take eighteen years. 

i dont rlly have an explanation on the ghost thing besides the fact he just can? ive occasionally pulled from family ghost stories and experiences bc i somehow got landed with family members who lived in a haunted house for a decade and enjoy scaring me with all the stories (including the time my cousin literally died on the kitchen floor from a bronchial spasm and one of the friends that was over asked my aunt later what was up with the old man she saw in the corner of the room that night - my cousin is fine btw shes just a huge bitch and a third grade teacher and i dont like her)

whether or not hes done drugs is based on absolutely nothing besides how im feeling in that moment. either hes the designated driver and sober friend forever or he got fired from his job after doing a line at work during graveyard with some random customers theres no inbetween (this absolutely happened @ waho. if dave works at waho hes a mess of a person and thats on the diner itself.)

ok look i hc dave w/schizophrenia besides when i was 14 i had a hyperfixation with learning about it and then at 16 was prescribed a medication and had side effects so wack my therapist genuinely thought 14 yr old me was onto something and its a weird way to cope with the idea that lady put in my head that i might “develop it in my twenties” which i turn 20 this year and i havent been able to stop obsessing and panicking over the prospect so PLEASE dont come in my inbox calling me ableist im not out here all harley quinn in suicide squad with the voices ok hes medicated, he goes to therapy, the hard fast delusion that lil cal was nearly sentient and informed bro of every single thing dave did no matter how asinine it was is no longer a debilitatingly affecting him ANYWAYS

i actually use the chicken/egg farming family pretty often just because its hilarious to me to give dave like. an actual mom and dad. hes literally an uncle to like three different kids he just never visits because they make fun of his skinny jeans and he hates one of his (incredibly bare-bones ocs all of them) brothers who threatened to bash his head in with a little league bat after dave broke his star wars lego set apart on accident (but not rlly) so their parents were like “why dont you stay with your brother in the big city for a lil while champ” and then they just never picked him back up? and thats on favoritism 

the other one is that his name is actually david reed and hes the middle child of a family of three who literally live the standard golden retriever white middle class life only they went to disney land or something equally as dumb one year when dave was like 6 and he wandered off so bro literally just went “huh free game” because frankly he was an idiot who thought maybe i should take this kid home because its real dangerous in parking lots and then it was too late to NOT have it seem like a kidnapping and thats why daves never had a summer job, seen his birth certificate, or gone to school. but vaguely remembers what kindergarten was like and having a pet dog and calling someone mom as a kid. 

im not making a bullet point about his sex life headcanons just use your imagination and acknowledge the fact bro essentially worked within the sex industry and i enjoy putting dave through trauma as a catharsis 

i stopped doing this one usually but if he did go to school hes been in percussion since fifth grade and played the drums in his high schools jazz band as well as various edgy teenager garage bands he likes to pretend dont have a youtube presence and that hes absolutely never been shirtless in front of plenty of his classmates because he wore a hoodie to a show like an idiot. idk occasionally ill put him in an actual band he doesnt hate but keeps separate from his lil turntechGodhead internet persona (which i will ALSO touch upon in a sec) until they wind up getting looped into a tour with some bigger named band that has a show in *insert beta kid here*’s city and hes gotta come clean solely so he can visit his online friend. sorry derseasterous thats the one time weve ever run into each other and i made him have a crush on one of his bandmates i was in my anti-daverose phase where i made dave a hoe and also didnt want to admit i still loved the ship all these years later 

i hate it so much but you know the whole vr loli trap voice shit that was popular a while ago? hes fucking baller at it for some reason. he did it as a joke while talking to bro and they both about shat their pants. if im feeling real ambitious, hes got a separate soundcloud solely dedicated to doing dumbass rap covers or making his own but in the voice under the pseudonym elizabeth “beth” davids that he will never admit is his. well, he will, but hes gonna be really fucking embarrassed about it. irony or not.

talking abt seperate soundclouds and stuff ive always had it where turntechGodhead was his like. essentially internet fucking persona facade shit he used because we all had that phase where we wanted memorable urls and stuff but also didnt want to totally ignore the nagging fear of people finding you in real life, until it turned into real life ppl finding you on the internet. so he also has basically an adjacent set of social media under the same name but its just a boring username i havent decided on so everyone he knows irl doesnt mix up with what hes made for himself as TG and the people he knows as TG dont know what highschool he goes to. (this occasionally comes with the territory of ppl on parp being pissed that daves “lying” or “hiding things” from his friends as if he was doing it out of spite instead of just keeping embarrassing tagged photos and videos from football games or when he ate shit at the skatepark from fucking with his “rap career”)

every once in a while i get on a kick where hes just german. like, i just replace houston texas with hamburg germany and have him apply to a university in whatever state is applicable for whoever im chatting with and it goes from there? sometimes he moved when he was little and went through the whole visa thing, sometimes he didnt go through the visa thing, sometimes hes a dual citizen because of family and shit, its all dependent on what suits the situation best. 

one that ive been fucking with for a while but hardly break out (until recently with like 5 roses in the span of one day hell yeah) is that he has a neighbor at the end of the hall who is like a thousand year old witch lady that hes basically adopted as his mother figure in lieu of not having one and shes totally cool with it, especially bc when she kicks the bucket she fully plans on giving dave all her occult stuff so her figure-skating coach and realtor daughter doesnt sell it at a garage sale and lets it all go to waste. she also once brought rose up by name in a conversation without any prompting of her existence which dave didnt realize for days, and then one time cryptically stopped and stared at an empty space in the wall, went “she has potential, you know.” then looked at him sitting on her kitchen counter with a smile “lots of it” and hes thought about that weekly ever since. (it is important to note one of the occult items he leaves her is literally her own personal book of shadows shes been filling out for decades its like a 600 page leatherbound book dave has no idea what its used for but the sheer amount of homemade spells and etc in it is like. gonna murder rose the second this chick gets her hands on it i promise you.)

theres the standard strife shit? im not rlly gonna get into those theyre all basically cookie cutter bullshit. its just standard bro and dave abuse talk. i like to inclulde the whole 24hr live cam up in the apartment that definitely watches dave in every room besides his own and the bathroom, but that quickly delves into the prospect of middle-aged men stalking him online and basically sexually harassing him in his own god damn home by talking about how they can see him just trying to take his shoes off in the living room after getting home and frankly? its not one of my best takes! but once you throw it into the headcanon bin, its there forever. 

he actually really does do something with his photography but not enough to warrant anything exciting, but he has his own branding for it and regularly takes pictures of his friends or anything else he thinks is moderately interesting enough to take pictures of, but those are just thrown into shoeboxes under his bed in favor of posting genuine shots because he wants to keep his image intact and blurry photos of jade smiling in the tree they climbed up together while bec paws at the base of it while whining isnt exactly something he wants the whole world to see.

i also pretty often but him into either paleontology OR i put him down as trying to become a mortician because he thinks handing roadkill once he graduated from museum giftshop specimens to doing his own taxidermy on the side has prepared him enough to perform an occasional autopsy and start embalming real human corpses. (sometimes i put my own desires in and make them his bc i have to project at some point and put him through the same EMT course i dropped out of bc it was one semester and he already has pretty decent first aid skills, but he definitely didnt expect it to be as fucking wild at times as it is, but whats he gonna do? get a job back at waffle house? the company hes working for just offered to pay like half his associates in paramedicine tuition and hes already got all his pre-recs done when he started for paleo. at least its a stable job and hes got the ability to be compassionate in the moment) 

im running out of things that ive done to the poor kid. OH 

hes not a virgin he had a girlfriend all four years of high school (shes also one of his optional and designated exes plz keep up) and their relationship ends in one of two ways: she dies in a car accident a week before their high school graduation, or she stops talking to him entirely a week after their high school graduation until a couple years later she gets into (guess what) a car accident with her current wife/girlfriend and dies which leaves behind their daughter. who just so happens to also be daves daughter. her name is hannah and i love her like my own but no one ever likes her and thats on the conditioning of dirk. does dave end up taking her in? yes. shes awesome and the first time he takes her to the park to like run off some fucking steam she disappears for two minutes and dave is moderately terrified until she comes back holding a dead baby squirrel and thats the moment he realizes huh maybe things really do be genetic.

ok at the bottom of the list im gonna add the couple of times hes been a camboy which usually coincides with the live apartment cam thing and the amount of people in his dms calling him hot or whatever, but typically its more of a started the day he turned 18 and basically dipped around 20 in favor of showing up randomly with no warning to complain about a video game dick in hand because it gives him an outlet that wont annoy his friends bc this is the fifteenth time hes had a lot to say this week about a certain boss battle and also the comments fuel his ego and daddy issues.

the last one wasnt the bottom but literally unless its explicitly proven otherwise every time anyone rps with me there is the underlying fact dave strider was a goalie on his high school lacrosse teams all four years and (shocker another one) definitely had the hots for one of his teammates like major hots like first gay experience hots. like it was painfully obvious that teammate also liked him back hots. like one night at a team sleepover one of the other guys was like can yall just makeout and get it over with were fucking tired and dave really had the balls to be offended and ask what the fuck they were talking about while literally sitting halfway in the mans lap bc for some reason they had to share the same chair. 

he is also guilty until proven innocent of being the worlds biggest loner outside of that sports team and even though hes literally a jock he still opts to eat his lunch alone in the hallway or something like that and has a tendency to leave girls on read, but bc hes got an in with the rest of the jocks hes basically drug around to plenty of parties and since hes conventionally attractive enough and popular in the aloof way that he is, hes got plenty of tagged insta posts and twitter directs and snapchat streaks going. 

THESE WERE ALL NO GAME AND DONT INVOLVE SHIPS BC I LIKE TO KEEP MY OPTIONS OPEN AND THEYRE LITERALLY ALL BASED OFF RPS IVE DONE I HOPE YALL JUDGE ME ACCORDINGLY

[harperkent]

task 004 - bootcamp and online classes

“No phones? What is this place, jail?” questioned Harper, not at all trying to be discreet. Her friends all gave her looks, eyes telling her to “chill” and “keep quiet”. She simply shrugged her shoulders. “I’m just saying, the no phone thing is wack.”

Harper wasn’t sure what she was expecting when arriving to Gallagher. She thought it was just like any other university, well, minus the fact that it was closed off. What she was not expecting was for the students to be preparing for some sort of bootcamp. It was weird as hell catching a few students talking about it in hush voices or how tired they all looked. “What school makes their students go through physical training? This isn’t high school,” she said to her friends, all of the outsiders very much confused and unaware of the true meaning behind the bootcamp. There were times when she wanted to investigate, to corner someone and force them to answer her. But she didn’t, kinda because she didn’t want to associate with her new peers, but also because she had her own classes to worry about. 

It wasn’t her first time taking online classes. She took a few during the summer term when she would go back to Washington. The junior was very much grateful that these classes had nothing to do with her major or else she would be struggling. Basic gen ed classes? Easy, no biggie, she could ace these classes without a problem. Harper already had set up a game plan. Wake up at 8 in the morning, get ready for the day, and find a place to do schoolwork. Assignments were all written down in her planner, due dates and all. 

So, she didn’t mind sitting inside of the cafeteria, drinking a milkshake as she watched the Gallagher students suffer due to their boot camp crap. Could never be her.

[inkofamethyst]

March 30, 2020

Hey kids, when you’re presented with a lovely two-week spring break, it could be a good idea to use it to actually study and get ahead in your classes, rather than lounging around and then cramming all of that work into the night before.

Day 90 of the cute campaign: I’m wearing, like, real clothes!  They’re not really cute, but I had to get dressed quickly this morning because I Screwed Up.

Day 18 of quarantine: apparently the governor’s issued a stay-at-home order (this is secondhand information and even if it was false it wouldn’t bother me because I haven’t left the house in days), so.  That’s a thing.

Guys I’ve been on such an emotional rollercoaster.  So I basically pulled an all-nighter accidentally last night studying for orgo (hint for next time: you were still really slow answering questions!  Take time each week (maybe Saturdays?) to practice what you’ve learned, and I’m sure your next three exams will go better!  It’s not that you couldn’t figure out the material, but the exam is not the time to have an epiphany.  Have your epiphanies a week before.  It’s okay!  I know we’re starting the process of breaking free from bad habits.  Just remember: do things now that your future self will thank you for.) and only got an hour and a half of sleep.  That’s the first time this has happened this semester, but I think it has to do with the fact that my bedtimes have been both irregular and extremely late.  As in 4 am late.  But now I want to wake up at 8:30 every day, so that can’t be a regular thing anymore.  I need the structure of something to do in the morning or I will become nocturnal and my circadian rhythm will go all out of wack.

Anyway I’m running on very little sleep and I’m in high intensity mode when I wake up because I’ve got this exam that I’ve barely prepared for.  And I don’t finish the exam which sucks because I, like, mostly knew my stuff and could probably have gotten another low-B but now I don’t even know what I’m looking at for this one.  And then I have problems submitting.  And I miss the deadline.  And I, freaked out, send an email to my TA apologizing and explaining and also giving him my exam, but they said on the exam submission page that they wouldn’t accept anything late so I’m freaking out and thinking that I’m going to get a zero on the exam.

After a long 23 minutes, I get an email from the TA saying that it’s cool.

Thank God.  I feel like I can breathe again.  Even though I’ve still got tons of assignments due online tonight, tomorrow, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday.  What a time to be alive.

I am so tired though.  Tonight is an early-to-bed night.  It has to be.  I’ve been pushing myself too hard.  I need to tone it down, get work done like a normal person, and go to sleep.  Ah crap.  The first video for the Broadway Study Hall comes out today.  Yeah... that might be a tomorrow activity.

Today I’m thankful that my exam was still accepted.  Like, I want a B in this class.  The goal would be a B+ or even an A- (I think an A might be out of reach at this point), and the Double A system would really come in clutch for that, but I know that I need to earn it.  And that starts will better study habits.  As in starting to seriously study the week before the exam.  As in starting to prepare study materials as soon as I learn new concepts.

We’re kicking the bad things.  Life’s clutter.  The parts about myself I don’t like.  Like, and maybe this is getting a bit too personal, but yesterday I ditched the account on this website that... let’s just say it wasn’t adding anything positive to my life.  I changed the password to a random assortment of letters, and I can’t get back in because I used a fake email to make the account.  Some days the temptation might come, and it’ll be hard, but overall I think this is the best way to move forward on that front.  There are other things too, probably, that I should look into changing, but I’ve gotta start small.  I started this year by focusing on my appearance and what I wanted to display into the world.  I recently decided to stop lying to myself about biochemistry and I feel like I’m freed (mostly, I still have to figure out this whole thing of applying to get into the major).  I recognized the toxicity in my life and I eradicated it.  Maybe coming home has given me clarity of mind.  Or maybe I’m just maturing all at once.  Like a growth spurt.  And all this maturation makes me ache sometimes, but I know it’ll be better once it’s over.

And, yeah.  That’s today so far.  And it’s barely even lunch time.

By the way guys, when I tell you that I’m so excited about anthropology I’m not even kidding.  It’s like, I get to learn about history from a science-y perspective, and I feel like that suits both of my sides like a glove, honestly.  And you know, if anthropology turns out to not be for me, then that’s okay too.  I... should have enough time to add on at least a minor and then also do some more specialty biology courses.  Though I don’t anticipate that being how the story ends.  I followed a bunch of archaeology Tumblrs last night when I should have been studying (something I never did for pharmacy... speaking of which I gotta skedattle from that groupchat) and I’m excited to start reading that anthro textbook (...maybe just the first chapter of it though, because I don’t want to be completely bored next semester), though maybe I’ll try to find some other field-related books to delve into while I’m home and lacking things to do.  But maybe this too is a good thing.  Less distraction (from a campus-sense, anyway) from my schoolwork.

It’s time to get grounded, gamers.  Real centered.

And, until next time (which could be later tonight idk.  Am I doing this journalling thing too much?  Is it supposed to be more sparse?  I suppose this will be a fun resource for future historians to peel through if the internet survives that long.).