#onision rant

[sydney-winchester]

Anyone know Onision and want to talk shit with me?? Plez

[ohnohetaliasues]

Stones to Abbigale {Ch. 10}

(Kat)

Here we go again. I am still alive and actually still active on tumblr, but I mostly do writing and fanfiction now. I still enjoy the occasional fic review, though.

If I have to read Abbi and James going any further than kissing I’m going to need either a brain transplant or a lobotomy, whichever makes me forget faster. 

But I know they will. I know they will and I will have to read it with my two eyes and you will be able to read my suffering. I will put a warning when that chapter comes around in case any of you want to skip it. I honestly wouldn’t blame you.

Let’s get into it.

The next morning I was surprised Davis didn’t leap up to greet me as I walked on the bus with Abbi. We sat across from him but he just looked out his window, surrounding himself in a silent gloom while paying us no attention. 

I mean, there’s the chance he’s traumatized. He did just survive a shooting.

“Hey Davis, how are you today?” I asked. 

Davis replied without turning towards me, “Why don’t you have a car? You’re 17, only losers like me ride the bus.” 

Well, that’s a rather rude way of responding to a friend asking you how you are.

Abbi gave me a look of concern.

As she should. 

 Though Abbi didn’t know Davis too well yet, she understood him to be a happier person; neither of us expected Davis to say something so negative.

 I responded to Davis, “Not everyone has a white picket fence life Davis, some people have to ride the bus.” 

I hate the way the dialogue tags are written before the actual fucking dialogue. It’s so irritating to read and it is nOT HOW YOU WRITE DIALOGUE.

Davis turned angrily and spoke as he pierced me with the most intense glare I had ever seen, “You don’t think I know that? You should get a job! Buy your own car! What are you even doing with your life?”

In case you forgot, Davis, teenagers usually don’t have everything figured out. As much as I hate James, there’s no reason for him to be attacked for something as completely fucking mundane as riding the school bus. 

I sat back, giving up on changing his mood and thought to myself “Happiness, as far as I care, can’t be acquired through any means if love is not involved.”

 If I got a job on top of school, I’d have barely any time to spend with Abbi.

She now apparently lives with you, plus you go to school with her. You’ll see her plenty.

I needed her more than anything and I thought Davis knew this. 

Broski, he probably needs you, too. 

He’s supposed to James’ best friend, but all James cares about is Abbi and I imagine Davis is probably annoyed and hurt that James is only paying attention to his girlfriend and not making time for his best friend after something like this happened.

Or Onion wants to create drama, and making Davis angry for some reason is the most low effort way of doing so. My money is on that since I don’t think that man is capable of intelligent, complex thoughts, nor is he capable of any kind of decent storytelling. 

Davis was probably just upset over everything that had happened recently and this was his way of coping.

It’s honestly more concerning that James isn’t as affected by the shooting. Davis is reacting in a normal way to a massive, traumatizing, and tragic event. All James cares about is the girl in his bed. 

Trying to close the conversation on a less negative note I said, “Well buddy, I’m here if you need me!” with the same tone he always used on me.

No, you’re not.

He rolled his eyes, scoffed and scooted closer to his window. Abbi remained next to me, running her fingers over the hairs on my hand. It was such a positive distraction.

Why is she doing that instead of just holding his hand? That’s not a thing I’ve ever heard of someone doing. Did Onion forget that sometimes people hold hands and like, run their fingers over the person they’re holding hands with’s knuckles? 

Later that morning I found myself in my History class staring at a very nervous Mr. Hanson. 

“You all realize the President of the United freaking States is going to be here right?” he asked the class. 

Okay, two things.

That was actually formatted how a quotation should, but that’s probably not going to stick.

Secondly, WHAT?!

I think this was released in like, 2015 or so, meaning that was Obama, so does this just make this book a very elaborate ‘Obama was there’ meme? I will choose to look at it that way since that makes it a minuscule amount less insufferable. 

I know that the President sometimes goes to schools to speak. President Obama once just arrived at a DC high school. He just casually strolled into a classroom, like the legend he is. I guess it makes sense for him to show up to speak in the wake of a tragedy like this, but it was just so fucking jarring that this was announced the day it was happening instead of, I dunno, days in advance like how planning usually works?

Whoever planned this needs to be fired. 

Most the students looked confused, as we were not briefed when exactly we would see him.

Why? Why not?

A voice erupted as our classroom door was swiftly pushed open. 

“The President of the United freaking States is about to arrive ladies and gentlemen,” said a large man wearing a black suit.

This is all happening so fast I don’t even know what to say.

 Mr. Hanson laughed nervously over the fact that, what we soon realized was a member of the Secret Service, had overheard him. 

Thanks for that unnecessary comma after ‘Secret Service.’ Also, that whole sentence in general was just a fucking mess. 

It should be written something like: “Mr. Hanson laughed nervously when he realized that someone had overheard him, and we later realized said person was a member of the Secret Service.”

See? The sentence structure is better, it reads easier, and it doesn’t make your brain hurt. But no, no editing allowed, no criticism, it’s against Onion laws.

Throw me in Onion Jail then, I guess. 

Also, did the Secret Service member just announce the president arriving by saying “the President of the freaking United States,” like he’s surprised by the person he works for? Is he an idiot, or is he just constantly in awe of the President? My money is on both.

Edit: I realize he’s quoting Mr. Hanson, but I like my joke that I made and I’m keeping it there even if it’s stupid.

Mr. Hanson turned to the class and in a rushed tone said “Alright, think before you ask the President anything, no stupid questions!” 

Ah, there goes the proper formatting of dialogue. We had a good run.

Another voice came from outside the door “You’re right Mr. Hanson, there are no stupid questions.” 

Hello, Obama. 

We all froze to see it was the President who had spoken.

As he walked in the room I quickly realized he was much taller than I had assumed from watching TV. The President centered himself in the room as the Secret Service asked Mr. Hanson to take a seat at his desk.

Four members of the USSS stood behind the President as he began to speak, 

Why? It would make more sense for them to be stationed at the doors, but I’m not an expert on the US Secret Service so I really wouldn’t know. It just seems crowded as fuck to have four people standing behind you while standing in an already not very large classroom, but I digress.

“I’m not here to bring a dark cloud into this room. I want to be uplifting, to be helpful, and I want all of you to feel like you can say whatever you like, without any fear of criticism or repercussion”

There is no period at the end of that sentence. 

 Chris Jenkins, the class clown, blurted out “Why are you such a D-Bag?”

Um.

I have met stupid people. But I don’t think I’ve met anyone that stupid.

Actually, that’s a lie, there were some massive dumbasses I went to high school with. And, truthfully, who I go to college with, currently.

 Most everyone in the class sat in shock as Mr. Hanson violently lurched up like a frantic animal yelling in a high-pitched tone “Chris! How dare you disrespect the...”

If I have to read the words ‘most everyone’ again I am going to have a fucking conniption. I don’t think Onion ever passed high school English class. Hell, I don’t think he passed middle school English. 

He has the IQ of a fucking life raft, though, so nobody is surprised by that. 

If you’ll allow me to go into a writer rant here for a second, I’ll tell you why this is wrong. ‘Most everyone’ is not proper grammar. The word ‘most’ means the greatest part of something, as all of you undoubtedly know, so ‘most everyone’ means the greatest part of everyone here. What greatest part are you talking about? Their heads and torsos? Their legs and torsos? 

While people do use it, it sounds fucking wrong. Like, if you replace it with ‘almost everyone’ it works and sounds normal, but ‘most everyone’ sounds fucking stupid. 

“Mr. Hanson.” the President interrupted, “Thank you.” 

A USSS member then asked Mr. Hanson to return to his seat.

The dialogue formatting is making me so goddamn mad that I have to correct it because it’s such a headache to read. I leave the dialogue tags as they are, because that means I can make fun of them, but I cannot read something where there are no fucking paragraph breaks when somebody speaks. 

DOES THIS MAN NOT KNOW THE BASIC RULES OF WRITING DIALOGUE? NO. HE JUST DECIDED TO WRITE A BOOK WITHOUT PRACTICING AND PUBLISHED HIS FIRST DRAFT. 

There is nothing more impersonal that critiquing someone’s grammar, but even when fans offered to help correct spelling and grammar, Onion refused. So, like a moron, he released the book unedited. Or he let his partner edit it. I don’t know, they didn’t do a very good job if that’s the case.

The President walked over to Chris, pulling his own pants slightly back so he could crouch.

 Why the fuck does he feel the need to crouch?

 “Now you may feel I am what you said, a D-Bag, but you should know to address me as President D-Bag as I, and many Americans, believe I earned the title of President.”

Uh. Okay. 

Sick burn, I guess?

Chris, now shaking and not knowing what to say let out a nervous and horribly awkward chuckle. 

Why is he shaking? It’s not like the President threatened him.

The President smiled and returned to the front of the room as he said “Now what other questions do you all have for me?”

 Literally everyone in class aside from Chris raised their hand. 

‘Literally everyone’ is a nice change from ‘most everyone.’

Y’know, because it fucking makes sense. 

Also, why the fuck is he taking questions instead of making a speech about the shooting, or saying what his response plan will be for gun violence so these kids don’t have to be afraid? Nah, he just pulls up like ‘so who wants to ask me a question?’ Like this is a Reddit AMA.

The President looked directly at me and said “James Patrick, the boy who nearly saved the day, what is your question?” 

Nearly saved the day? James didn’t do shit. All he did was run around looking for Abbi, he didn’t save anyone’s lives. The incessant praise James receives for doing absolutely fucking nothing is baffling. 

I replied, “You know who I am?” 

He responded, “I’ve read up on this school and the recent events quite a bit. How are your feet healing up?”

Why would some random ass dude who got glass in his feet be in any kind of official report? Sure, his name would be among the survivors and witnesses, but he didn’t really do anything of note. This is absolute bullshit.

 I was overwhelmed but I had to keep it together so I quickly replied, “Really well actually, the ambulance guys did an amazing job getting the glass and dirt out.” 

You mean the EMTs? The paramedics? They have a technical name. This makes it seem like Onion forgot what they were called and just didn’t bother to google it. 

Which, honestly, is probably what happened.

The President followed with “That’s wonderful to hear, what was your question?” 

I replied, “I just wanted to know how you feel about the things people call you, in the news and around the world.”

Completely irrelevant to the situation at hand, but okay.

The President gave a slightly sad smile and replied “I cannot, and do not want to control what people say about me.

Why? You wanna have a good approval rating, don’t you?

All I can really fully control is what I myself am saying and doing. I find myself repeatedly stating that I came into office with the best intentions, and I continue to lead as President with those very same intentions. Some decisions I have to make aren’t always fair to me, my family or many people around the world, but sometimes your only options lie between the end of a slipknot or the blade a guillotine, and that’s the burden I chose to carry.” 

Why does this sound like something Trump would say?

Gross.

Also, ‘sometimes your only options lie between the end of a slipknot or the blade of a guillotine?’ That is an absolutely bonkers thing to say to a room full of high school students.

The class paused for a few seconds and then all at once everyone but Chris & myself raised their hands again.

Why— Why the ampersand? That’s not proper grammar. You do not use an ampersand to replace the word ‘and’ in a sentence in prose writing, the two are not interchangeable. 

One of the USSS members spoke up “Mr. President we need to move on.”

He was there for like, two minutes. Why the hell is he going from class to class individually instead of just holding an assembly and speaking in front of the whole school?

 The President lifted his hand and said to the class “I want you all to know there are going to be some major changes around your school. I’ve approved a budget shift that will help fund significant renovations and an effective security program that will promote a safer environment for everyone here.”

Uh. Great. Thanks. Better than thoughts and prayers, I suppose.

“I will not stand by and do nothing when these incidents occur. So I’m doing what any responsible person in my position would do to make you all feel safer in this learning environment.” 

As much as I hate Onion, we apparently share the same views on restricting guns and gun laws. Not sure how I feel about that. 

He then smiled as the USSS opened the door behind him. “Thank you all, and Chris, remember our talk, ok?” 

The ‘President D-bag’ talk? That was not really a life lesson, it was just a thing that happened.

Also, Onion should be called President D-bag.

Chris remained speechless as the President walked out.

I relate.

Mr. Hanson then stood up while looking at Chris as if he had just slapped Mr. Hanson’s mother right in front of him. Mr. Hanson maintained his glare as he walked to the front of class.

Uh, I mean, he’d probably get a stern talking to. Even the idiots I went to high school were a bit less fucking brazen than calling the POTUS a douchebag. 

Mr. Hanson sighed deeply and looked down at the floor, he then asked, “Did anyone else almost pass out?” 

No, just you.

The class erupted with laughter as the teacher wiped sweat from his forehead with the towel he used as a white board eraser. The towel smeared ink all over his forehead, which made us all laugh even harder. Unfortunately I was faced with the reality that he would blame his humiliation on me if I did not tell him right away, as my next period still required I act as a Teachers’ Assistant for him.

Why the fuck would be blame James for that? James didn’t do anything.

The first thing Abbi said to me when I met with her later that day in gym class was “So it looks like Mrs. Stanley’s getting a new desk.”

 I replied “The president?” 

“Yep, he met with you guys too?”

I nodded and she added “In other news, Jason has been hitting on me, not sure what to do about it.” 

Tell him to stop? I mean, easier said than done, but you could try that. Or you could break his arms, whichever comes first.

I replied concerned “Like just flirting, or is it heavy?” 

She answered, “I think the whole saving our lives thing went to his head. He just grabbed my butt in class after the President left the room.”

 I went silent.

Trying to reassure me she said “I yelled at him not do it again.”

Uh, good. Holy fuck. What a tool. 

 I replied, “Did you talk to the teacher?” 

She answered “Mrs. Stanley saw I was uncomfortable and said she would give him detention if he tried to do it again.” 

No, give him detention immediately, he fucking groped someone. Hell, suspend him.

I loved that she did everything I would have done, leaving no room for me to imagine potential alternatives to what she felt about Jason’s chauvinistic act.

She isn’t helpless without you, James. Fun fact, women are autonomous beings who can care for themselves. We’re cool like that.

 I smiled slightly and said “Well, thank you for telling me...” 

She interrupted “What about you? Any girls grabbing your butt these days?”

Interesting topic of conversation. I, too bond with my nonexistent significant other over ass grabbing. 

I replied with a slight smile, “Nope, guess my butt just isn’t as good looking as yours.” She squealed and hugged me

Why is that her response?

as the substitute walked in and blew his whistle.

Oh I forgot they were in gym class.

“All right everyone let’s play some badminton!” the sub said, pronouncing everything as it was spelled. 

Raymon responded “Don’t you mean bad-mitten?”

No.

Oh god, did he not read this out loud?

Badminton is often pronounced more like bad-mitten when spoken out loud, so—Why would the sub say it like that? You know what, nevermind.

Jesus Christ, these attempted jokes are exhausting.

 The teacher replied “I didn’t Ray-man, is that ok with you?” 

Now angered, he responded, “It’s Ray-mon!” 

This is aggressively stupid.

The sub laughed and said “Alright everyone, do you want to see Ray-man vs. your sub in bad-min-ton?”

 A lot of us screamed “Yeah!” and so the game ensued.

Raymon seemed to get hit with the birdie more than the actual racket did. We kept laughing because he was trying so hard to look cool but kept failing repeatedly and as a result, looked completely goofy.

I’m actually decent at badminton, and it’s honestly not very hard, so this guy is apparently just really uncoordinated. 

After the teacher had scored on him for the 10th time Raymon threw down his racket.

 The teacher loudly asked, “So is that game? No more bad-min-ton?”

 Trying to sound tough Raymon screamed, “This is a sissy game anyway!” 

Shut your face.

Someone watching yelled to everyone “Uh oh watch out he might try to shoot us too!” 

Who the fuck would say that?

Why the fuck would you say that?

Like, holy fuck that is not okay on every level.

We all went silent; one girl jumped up and walked off in a hurry. I could see she was holding her cries in until she could get out of the room.

A valid response, Jesus Christ. The insensitive asshole who said the deserves a kick to the teeth.

Raymon angrily looked over at the person who made the comment. The individual who yelled put their head down.

In what fucking world would it be okay to make a joke like that after something like this happened? In the place it happened?

This person would be suspended. They’d be in huge trouble. Jesus Christ I hate this book more than any book I’ve ever read. This makes Blood Raining Night look like fucking Shakespeare. I had more fun reading My Immortal than I have had reading a single letter of this drivel. At least My Immortal doesn’t rely on shock and outrage to forward its (dubious) storyline, it’s just pure insanity. But at least it’s fun insanity.

This is just nihilistic, pretentious insanity.

They were obviously trying to avoid being pierced by Raymon’s glare. Raymon then furiously walked off, throwing a tantrum by kicking a garbage can while pulling off his shirt as he passed through the boys’ locker room entrance.

A VALID FUCKING RESPONSE.

“Alright everyone, pick a partner and start playing!” the teacher said just before following Raymon into the locker room.

Honestly, I’d worry if he was okay. In no way was the shooting Raymon’s fault, and I cannot fathom why that person said that to him. That last section was wholly unnecessary.

Naturally Abbi was on my team and we played against a couple of people who were equally unenthusiastic about the sport so we basically just stood around talking about how dorky our uniforms were and basically anything we could to keep our minds preoccupied.

Usually not what I talked about while playing badminton in high school PE, but to each their own, I suppose.

Later that night at dinner, we had to put together a makeshift chair for Rick as Abbi was still staying with us. 

A makeshift chair??? What would that even look like? A bunch of pots stacked on top of each other? A stump cut from the back yard? Do they not have like, a folding chair or even a stool? Why the hell does he get a makeshift chair?

My mom began to talk about their move “So Rick let me know he’s happy to help cover your food, utilities etcetera while you stay here in the condo.” she said, Abbi and I looked at each other happily and hugged excited that it was confirmed. Abbi and I didn’t have to move anywhere.

Okay, let me get this straight. 

James’ mom is just completely fine with her teenaged son living with his also teenaged girlfriend in a condo, alone, and is just chill with having her rich boyfriend who she has been dating for not nearly long enough pay for food and utilities? And said rich boyfriend is also fine with doing this?

She’s just… fine with this? In what goddamn world would any parent allow that? She deserves to have CPS called on her.

I’m going to walk into the goddamn ocean if this is just an excuse to get rid of adult supervision so these two idiots can have copious amounts of sex that I will then have to read with my two eyes.

My mom continued, “Your sister is going to come with us.” 

I looked at my sister and asked, “What’s up sis?” 

She just pushed food around on her plate and mumbled, “It’s whatever. I don’t want to talk about it.” 

My mom gave me a look that I should just drop it, so I did.

Okay, why though? If we’re going by this logic, why isn’t his sister staying behind with them? She goes to the same school and is half way through her senior year, it would be stupid to rip her away from school so close to graduation.

 I had a friend in high school whose father got a new job that sent the family to Hawaii, but she wanted to stay and finish high school, so she stayed with a friend for the school year. But the difference there is that she was staying with adults instead of alone in a house her parents paid for. She was a minor, and not an emancipated one, so she had to stay with a guardian by law. This whole thing makes absolutely zero fucking sense.

Abbi squeezed my hand; she was still smiling widely at me. I was pretty overwhelmed with what this all meant as well. One of the greatest pending burdens hovering over my head had been removed from my life completely. However ridiculous it sounds, knowing I could be separated from Abbi, to me, was the equivalent of a doctor telling me I might have cancer, only to reveal later, it was nothing. I felt like I was getting my life back, without ever really having it taken away in the first place.

Okay. I can put up with a lot without getting utterly furious, but that pisses me off. You do not get to compare almost having to move away from your girlfriend to a possible diagnosis of cancer. My mother just recently beat cancer, and the effect that this diagnosis had on my family when it was given was earth shattering. It was not even comparable to having to move away from a significant other. It was one of the hardest, most terrifying periods my family has ever been through, and it traumatized my sister, effecting her in ways that it didn’t affect me or my father. It was horrifying, all of it, and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.

Onion​ is an insensitive dickweed, and the fact that this comparison was even made is insulting. Having to leave a significant other is sad, sure, but it is not on the same level as a life changing diagnosis like fucking cancer. Don’t you dare make that comparison, you fucking ingrate.

Onision, fuck you. I hope you choke on your next meal, wherever you are. 

Back to this stupid fucking trash book.

After dinner, Abbi and I cuddled in bed while listening to some of her favorite bands. She would sing along to the songs, knowing most the words, as I just kept my eyes closed, paying close attention to how her skin felt pressed against mine.

In that room alone with her, I often found myself feeling like nothing else mattered. She gave all my senses something to devour to the point where I began to feel like the rest of the world barely existed at all.

The level of obsession James has with her is not healthy. A person’s life should not merely revolve around their partner. At least, nobody mentally well and stable.

I fell asleep listening to the sound of her beautiful voice, softly singing.

Great. I love that this book has inspired rage among the bottomless void of utter apathy that I’ve been feeling thus far. Makes for an amazing and totally not draining reading experience. 

Now, I have come to a very obvious conclusion. Onision, Greg, whatever you call yourself nowadays, I frankly don’t care. I don’t know if he’ll ever see this, and I don’t care about that either, because interacting with him sounds like an exhausting waste of time, but I need to say this anyway. 

Onision Gregory James Jackson cannot write. He cannot create interesting characters or stories, and he uses topics that need to be handled with respect and care as plot devices. Abhorrently, he uses horrible, traumatic events as some sick form of character development, but these events that are supposed to cause character development cause none of the aforementioned at all. All of these characters are more static than a broken television, and have the same amount of flavor as a single slice of white bread. I also hate all of them. He has been given every opportunity to improve, but refuses criticism, one of the main things that helps a writer grow. I value criticism above all else as a writer, and without it and the practice at my craft, I would not be where I am today.

Also, Greggy-poo, if you do see this, you can’t get this review taken down. You can’t do shit. Because this is transformative content since it’s commentary. I am adding my own insight into this, and making it into something new, and it is therefore protected by fair use. And I’ll just keep on posting. 

Whatever. I’ll see you later.

—Kat

[sebaztianlovesgeek]

I found this in a persons bio (I'll not be mentioning names please don't try find and harass this person)

I understand not wanting racists, nazis, ableists, sexists, homophobes, transphobes, etc not interact (and of course minors if your account is not child friendly) BUT BRO-

You cant tell someone not to interact with you just because they like a certain media (unless of course the media is something like the movie cuties but I'm about 90% sure that movie doesn't have a fandom other than sneako so-)

The thing thats funniest about this is "dni if your a south park fan" I'm not even a massive fan of south park I've only seen like 7 episodes, but assuming this person doesn't like south park because its offensive... THATS THE WHOLE POINT OF THE SHOW, TO SHOW OFFENSIVE AND SHOCKING STUFF

Also I KIND OF understand why killing stalking is a dni, because despite the story putting stalking, kidnapping and abuse in a negative light there are of course many gross fujoshis in that fandom who are just like "OH MY GOD THIS IS SO HOOOOTTTT 😍😍😍😍" but that obviously doesn't mean all killing stalking fans are like that

As for helluva boss/hazbin hotel, I SORT OF understand. I myself am a fan of the shows, but I'm not one to defend it to my very last breath like some people are. I do admit there are problems in both shows, like there are a lot of SA jokes in Helluva (particularly with Moxxie, for example in episode 3 where he was assaulted by Verosika and her succubus friends and it was played off as a joke) and in both shows there are a lot of emphasis on gay male relationships which can be seen as fetishy as times, but as a gay man who was SA'd I still enjoy both shows while acknowledging the fact they have problems

What did Markiplier do? The only controversy I remember him being in was when he played a video game that shows real gore (and I don't think he knew it was actual gore) I understand PewDiePie because he's been in a bit of controversy, I'm not sure about Jacksepticeye I don't really watch him

I'm surprised they didn't put Logan Paul or Onision-

Also transandrophobia/transmisandry truthers? I feel like trans men have the right to express their specific issues like trans women are with transmisogyny

All in all, if you can't handle people liking certain media or having different non hateful opinions interacting with your posts, you probably shouldn't be on the internet

Again, no hate to this person, please don't try to find and attack them, this is just me ranting about crap

[onisiondrama]

Long Sarah rant.

Side note: I’ve been collecting tweets for the past few months that I thought were interesting. I’ll organize them and post them sometime this week. I wanted to wait to group them together by topic rather than post one to three semi/barely interesting tweets every week.

Edit: Realized there is a nugget of new information in this rant:

"Onision's spouse was literally fired on the way to work, having to pull over and sob hysterically again because of the horrifying damage Sarah, the rapist criminal, had done."

[desire-mona]

randomly assigning house md characters internet moments / videos / memories / whatever i remember based off nothing at all (i did i dps version too) (also links for everything i talk about will be provided) (also also this isnt made to make fun of anyone involved in any of this)

house - mr beast and his OLD OLD youtube videos, like circa 2015? i think? he used to make cringe compilations essentially where he just made fun of kids' youtube intros. face and all like nothing was blurred for privacy, and then he'd call them cringe and make drinking bleach jokes. like a LOT. i binge watched those back in like 4th grade i think? maybe 5th? so thats kinda all i associate him with now. he also made videos where he would say a word like a thousand times, sometimes WAY more (like 100k+). or like. count to that number, he did both. anyway rip house you wouldve loved making fun of kids' youtube videos

wilson - does anyone remember the evian baby commercials? i think the whole shtick was like "this water makes you feel young again" I THINK? the one i linked was the one where the reflection on a building makes ppl babies, but theres one where babies are on roller skates or whatever too. this isnt entirely an internet moment as much as it is just a memory, cuz i remember my mom and my aunt DYING laughing at these commercials. idk what it was they were just in tears. theres something so 2007-2015 about dancing babies. wasnt a dancing baby the first internet meme? just googled it and yes it was.

cuddy - onision's shitty spoken word songs PLEASE tell me someone remembers them. onision really shouldve stopped trying to make music after the banana song bc the rest really suck shit. this is NOT based on vibes i gotta get that out there, i was like hmm cuddy has a kid. you know who else has a kid? YOU KNOW WHO LET THEIR KID FALL OUT OF A WINDOW? cuddy would fucking HATE onision. ALSO OH MY GOD PAUSE EVERYTHING ONISION JUST UPLOADED A SONG. I NEED TO MAKE A SEPERATE POST ABOUT THIS RIGHT NOW WHAT THE HELL. anyway dont watch it. i linked strange æon's video on his music just bc i really dont wanna direct u to anything of his directly. did u know i dont like onision?

foreman - the most insane youtube poop ive ever seen in all of my 19 years of living, i sent this to maddie specifically when i made my initial "like for a rando internet moment!" post but i really need to share it with the general public. general warning for youtube poop-ness; flash, loud noises, overwhelming, etc. i am actually begging you to watch this because it tops every other ytp ive ever seen, like actually blows it out of the water. i also has no idea ppl still made ytps after 2014 tbh.... btw this is probably the only ytp that i'll ever recommend LMAO

chase - OH MY GOD KYLERLOVESJESUS. so basically this one eboy influencer type on tiktok back in 2019 Found God and went on rants about how abortion is wrong and gay marriage is bad and blah blah blah. there was this moment on one of his lives where he went "i love gay people, i would be best friends with a gay person. do i support it? no." which was the FUNNIEST shit back in the day. i would quote it on the daily. btw the editing of the video i linked is VERY of the time so beware LMAO

cameron - cutie the kitten (sans' wife and gf) + the killing videos sans fan girls would make. i actually cant link anything bc the channel doesnt exist anymore but! basically back in 2016ish there was this one girl who had such a crush on sans and she had a whole ocxcanon situation with sans and her pink cat oc Cutie. a lot of ppl hated her + the ppl who had ocs shipped with sans but looking back its truly not a big deal. what is a big deal is that she (? maybe?) and other sans fangirls would make animated slideshow videos of their ocs using powers or whatever to kill other sans fangirls. like brutally. it was a wild time i wish cutie's channel was still up so i could prove thats a real thing, but ask an undertale fan from back then and odds are theyll know. heres a sans fangirl cringe compilation so you kinda know what im talking about, but fair warning it is a cringe compilation so. it wont be nice.

thirteen - TW INCEST!! this one hamilton animatic i saw back in forever ago to the song 'helpless'. usually animatics to that song use eliza and hamilton (im not a hamilton fan this is very surface lvl knowledge btw) but the one i saw was eliza and ANGELICA. like as in HER SISTER. big surprise someone in a big fandom ships incest wow I KNOW its tame compared to other shit, but it was i think my first exposure to anything like that circa 2017ish, so it kinda stuck in the brain. also the video i linked isnt the og its a phil collins mashup, the og got taken down. hamilton always makes an appearance in my house posts doesnt it, be lucky i didnt give kutner this one bc ppl were turn up abt hamilton fan kutner.

taub - WHAT DO YALL KNOW ABOUT MIKE AND MELISSA ⁉️⁉️ basically mike and melissa is this animated passion project this guy made to show himself (or his persona? or maybe just some guy) falling in love with his fursona that comes to life. this was the only episode this guy uploaded and i think he kinda disappeared after. the plot is kinda hard to follow and its not TERRIBLY animated but its certainly not professional looking. there's a video about what happened to him uploaded like 5 months ago, but i havent watched it. when i first heard of mike n melissa i fully thought it was a mid 2000s family sitcom but it definitely Is Not That.

kutner - undertale sans au christmas party comic dub. i probably dont need to give an explanation as to what sans aus are but idk how many ex or current undertale fans follow me so i'll do it anyway. making au's for undertale was a pretty common practice back in its early days, and usually the most popular character in any undertale variation is sans. who sans is shipped with was always up in the air, so much like the onceler, ppl ended up shipping sans with other au versions of himself. this christmas party comic is in my mind the undertale fandom equivalent of camp weehawken. i think there was also a sans au comic where all the sans' except for like 2 were toddlers at daycare? i dont remember who the adult sans' were but also i think the creator got into hot water? dont remember why.

[soyouareandrewdobson]

Sorry if you get this question 17 days a day but do you have like a master post explaining this guys deal? I saw some of his weird yellow cat(?) comics on Twitter and have no idea who this guy is.

extremely short version: Andrew Dobson aka Tom Preston aka CattyN was an insufferable webcomic and fanart artist who ever since he showed up openly online around 2004/05 would achieve internet infamy by being a self righteous, self obsessed, victim complex suffering, unbearable, unimaginative, disgruntling, lesbian fetishizing douchebag, till he dropped off the face of the planet in May of 2022.

Despite an actual Bachelor's degree in arts and an education in animation at MCAU (a prestige university in the field of animation), he never achieved his dream of working in the field and "settled" for creating webcomics. Every major "series" he ever created failed as he tried to publish them via old school printed media rather than by releasing them properly online for people to read (despite being a webcomic artist and doing this stuff in the mid-2000s) and the quality of his stuff was below average often.

By 2012 he not only acted like an entitled snobbish nerd who was less geeky than others (though the contrary was the case), but would also increasingly go on to rant about social and political non issues in nerd culture, condamning people who did not agree with him as toxic, haters, nazis and so on. Things naturally would escalate more once Trump got elected.

While NEVER as influential and as such dangerous in his actions as people like Chris Chan or Onision, he certainly was a big douche and his pathetic rants and victim mentality when you tore apart his views in proper argumentative fashion, make him a cautionary tale of failure even to this day

[blackwaxidol]

speaking of onion boy (onision)... a very funny/strange/interesting memory i have is that my very first original post on this site when i joined nearly a decade ago was... a multi-paragraph rant absolutely ripping that man a new one because i could see exactly what kind of soulless excuse for a human being he really was and i was frustrated that this concept was not grasped by... his audience of people my age at the time. no introductory post no "how do i use this site" post no nothing. i just came in swinging with pure hatred in my heart.

[psychiatricwarfare]

i feel like some people really need to learn the difference between actual predatory behaviour and normal human behaviour and how much context matters. long rant under the cut

oh my god can we PLEASE stop making 20 minute youtube videos titled "__ is WORSE than you think!!" and its literally just a bunch of nothing statements and arguments that mean absolutely nothing about a person overall. the Only thing that these entire videos have is that the person theyre about has always done some fucked up thing, but instead of talking about the thing they did or anything substantial, they'll just be a bunch of innocuous statements or jokes that aren't actually bad at all, throw in a few that are kinda gross and creepy IF you have the context of what that person's done, and nothing that actually adds anything to the conversation.

like, a good example of what these types of videos wishes they were is the onision files by repzion. an actual series of videos laying out Actual disgusting behaviour, the reason there are So Many is because he's just done that much fucked up shit. but the problem is when everyone wants to do that with everyone who's ever been despicable online when there just isn't as much to talk about. so what do they do? they start scraping the bottom of the barrel to try and have their own onision files but instead of being hours worth of the most enraging, despicable, vile, abusive shit a person can do, its just "and they use so much toilet humour which is disgusting" (<- a real thing someone said when discussing a child groomer!! who fucking cares if they think poop is funny!! they groomed children!!)

its incredibly fucking annoying and diminishes whatever horrible thing they did imo? like "oh you thought that sexualising children to their young and impressionable audience was bad, wait until i tell you about how they think poop is funny, if you didnt think they were a monster before, you surely do now"

like am i crazy? and if you try and say "hey this doesnt actually matter" then all of a sudden you're defending the perpetrator when in reality a lot of the innocuous shit they mentioned as "proof" they're a despicable person (rather than the despicable thing/s they did) is stuff everyday people do??

they'll bring up a 4 year old video of them blowing a raspberry into a babys belly, which is creepy with the context of if the person in question is accused of being a child predator, but theyll rarely ever say that. theyll just show the video and be like "thats disgusting!! how could they do that?!" and its like yeah, its gross because Theyre the one doing it. you have to say that. otherwise youre saying that no one can touch babies ever without being a predator. this isn't substantial, this doesn't add anything to the conversation, youre just talking. if youre going to say things that are creepy or gross because of the person doing them then you have to say that otherwise youre telling your audience that those things are inherently bad.

kissing your 12 year old fan on the mouth? an actual reprehensible, vile thing for an adult to do. laughing about a baby's butt? only creepy if you know they also did the first thing.

because if you say that by making jokes about baby butt (something that is in no way sexual, it is a BABY), they are being creepy and gross, then you are saying there is something inherently sexual there. you need the context of them sexualizing children first. you need to bring up that the reason this behaviour is gross when They do it is because of the other gross things they've done. otherwise you add nothing to the conversation, youre just saying words at me. i have no reason to care if someone makes sex jokes in their content until you give the context that the character theyre playing in that content is meant to be a child

[xenoxpreds-against-onionboy]

Men like Onision are the reason why I'm so damaged.

As a teen I was groomed by multiple adult men. No guy my age would want to date me. I had crushes and asked them out but I was REJECTED EVERY SINGLE TIME!!!

So I had to have male attention SOMEWHERE anywhere

I was a lonely little girl cause no one my age wanted to go out with me. And the only time I did have a BF my age he broke up with me for my best friend at the time.

It doesn't help that my parents allowed it to happen, but hey they wanted me to be happy so idk what to think about that

Onision is just like those men I was with, taking advantage of lonely little girls, who's DESPERATE to be loved and appreciated. Who wanted their fairy tale romance.

So FUCK YOU GREG FUCK YOU!!!

I'm still not over what they did to me. And I'm 27.... I don't think I can heal...

[onisionrants]

Triggered my recent revelations

In the recent Chris Hansen Sarah let out about the grooming onions having sex with their kids in the bed/room (stated later on twitter). To keep things grounded for me, my kid is a tad older than T, we are starting to talk to them about the birds and the bees, yet they are having full on sex in front of them... smh.... It also makes me think back to my uncles ex wife whom long ago told me about her childhood and how her parents had sex in the same bed as her, to which she would end up wetting the bed because she didn't want to disturb them/felt shame. My ex aunt was crazy, probably not due to only this but "Kai" has a BA in psychology, she wanted to be a child therapist, I for one wouldn't want my kid seeing someone that thought this was normal. Sarah is not to blame either and it makes me sad that she is now blaming herself for the pain she might have caused these kids... this all was normalized to her thru her home life and her grooming. I'm glad she is now seeing this is wrong but it also has me wondering what other horrible things are going on in that house that she has had normalized to her. I generally don't like calling people bad parents, but kai you are a fucking bad parent. "Wheres my sympathy" you had mine a ~hater~ for years but you have shown you have turned into your abuser instead if getting away. Let's not even discuss how kai said that if onion hit her they would stay and the ramifications that brings on a child. I know there is a no talk about the kids, but this breaks that, I worry T is gonna turn out like onion (he's alrdy showing behavior issues) and C is going to be like the girls they groom, issues galore.

Sarah will probably never see this but you care more about those kids well being than their own parents. Don't feel bad for what happened they are the ones to blame, the ones that were in control of their own kids lives and the ones that normalized this for you.

[thehonestbanana]

Drawing Hentai Saga when?

Also this looks like a fucking child made it. He sounds like a goddamn child too! Fucking babies in the womb draw and color better than that, what kind of grown ass adult colors like a child?

The lines are so messy and jagged it adds on to how bad it is. Like his fucking do not engage tattoo is fucking ART compared to this. How the hell does this look like it’s in a computer program but colored in by crayola markers? Having jagged lines and inconsistent coloring doesn’t make this cute Greg, you’re a grown ass man. This is something I would find on an 11 year olds a deviantArt page. God this is just horrendous....god even they would keep the fonts the same!

Am I proud? Hell no. Do better. Also stop redrawing the same crappy colorful Onsion logo you used when you were somewhat relevant this is just sad...

[s1deb00b]

So like i love commentary youtubers but I'm like minorly pissed at this one thing they keep getting twisted.

My job goes as such: My company has a new story. I go to a reporter and say "Hey this is a cool story and matches what you write about, would you be interested in an advanced version of this report for you to write about?" They can say yes or no and even if they say yes they can still decide not to write about it.

Commentary youtubers were approached by a marketing person in advance of the Onision documentary that offered them an advanced copy of the doc and asked if the youtubers would consider making a commentary video.

See the pattern?

Of course the way youtube works is you have to pay for collaborations and traditionally if you agree you have to adhere to guidelines set out by the brand etc. And i do think the marketing person should have done more research on how youtube collaborations and relationships work.

The part that gets me heated is that no one stopped to think about this at all or engage with the marketing person to ask about the conditions around this. Instead they all just dragged the marketing person AND THEN PROCEEDED TO MAKE A VIDEO ON THE ONISION DOCUMENTARY.

Since no one asked for more information we don't know if this was a pay for play or if they were just treating youtubers like i treat journalists and honestly it's really pissing me off cause it's not fair to the person just doing their job.

[pugnetworkofficial]

ONISION BLOCKED ME (ONISION MENTAL BREAKDOWN)

[onisiondrama]

Hi, firstly thank you so much for all the work you do! I periodically check your blog once or twice to see if anything changed, but it looks like Onision is still doing the same thing? Why do you think Onision hasn't moved on from this? I get the legal issues, but I just don't understand why he won't just stop repeating the same points for over 4 years? Is it because he wants a YouTuber career back or?

I always felt like he’s been stuck on victim mode. He wallows in self pity and rolls out pointless videos and rants online to an audience he knows won’t be receptive to what he has to say because he doesn’t want to move on. It’s hard to put into words, but it’s like if he stays depressed and down on his luck with the world against him, he is almost getting back at his accusers if that makes sense..? He wants to be the victim in the end and be able to say they ruined his life.

He could have logged off and got a job in like a warehouse or somewhere no one cares about the internet. If he wanted to stay inside and anonymous, he could edit videos under a random username on a site like Fiverr or something, but instead he’s online indulging in his unhealthy addictions and purposefully sabotaged that job interview that we know he went on by excessively talking about the accusations against him.

It’s a stubbornness thing, but also it’s to attempt to keep his claims against his accusers stronger.

That’s all my opinion though.

[finnlessshark]

oh i'm sowwy, the fbi nevew shown up! i'm sowwy! da cops awe aww about onion boy becawse tuwns out; didn't bweak a single law, so what do we do?

oh well ouw opinions been invawidated so many times by him, dat we're going to disable his patweon! wowie! wowie! youw wouwd weally do dat, huh?

youw wouwd weally do dat!

youw twy to do da fbi, but it didn't wowk! you twied to do the powice, but dat didn't wowk! so instead, youw wesowt to da paycheck! and you gawt it! YOU GAWT IT!! aww my patweons have been deweted!!

[dykespreadinglove]

idk if I am just in the wrong circles but personally I think that we dont talk about the damage onision made to young adults when he was doing thos "skinny, normal or fat" videos.

like down to it's core it was just meanspo honestly. and I know that he also said that the skinny skinny bodies weren't "desirable" which is bad and damaging, but my brain was like "at least he respects them as human beings not like that fat people. not like the people who look like me."

I used to tell myself that I would send pics of my body in as soon as I turned 18 to get validation from a random 30 year old man on the internet... when I was 12-13...

//tw self harm

and also his videos about cutting and how dumb it is?? I was literally watching them (I dont remember if he showed the scars) while I was cutting and self harming myself and agreed? but his videos were also very triggering to me personally. like idk if it was just me but this man was able to influence my early teenage years so much it's crminal.