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whimsicallyreading · 4 years ago

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Eight Second Ride

Part Three-

(Part Two)

“So you are telling me-“ Aedion scowls from the other side of her bed, “you ditched me for a sweaty bull rider and didn’t even last an hour into the date?”

Aelin shoves a spoonful of cookies and cream ice cream into her mouth and sniffles. “That’s all you got from my story?”

He slings an arm over Aelin’s shoulders and she lays her head on his chest gratefully. She’d caught an Uber back to her apartment where Aedion was already camped out waiting for her.

One look at her mascara smeared face, and he’d made a pillow fort on her bed. Complete with ice cream and “Little Women” playing on his phone.

“No, I got the whole chauvinistic asshole, bit.” Aedion stabs his spoon into the container and breaks up a particularly large piece of Oreo. “I just decided to focus on the part that doesn’t make me want to leave you hear and go and kill him right now.”

“I thought cowboys were supposed to be classy.” Aelin watched Jo play with her sisters in their attic on Aedion’s tiny screen. “Take city girls into the country to ride a horse and show them a bigger purpose in life, kind of shit.”

“Hallmark is such a liar.” Aedion huffs and squeezes her shoulder a little tighter. “I’m sorry, Lin. I know going out tonight was a big step for you. It’s a shame he acted the way he did.”

It was rare Aelin acted on a whim these days. Not like she used to do when she was in high school. She felt a pull to go with Rowan, but her gut had led her into a situation that could have gone south very quickly.

It’s a hard thing when you can’t trust yourself.

“No. I shouldn’t have gone. Especially not alone.” Aelin’s feels her thoughts drifting. Creeping towards that iron box of memories she keeps locked tight. “It’s my mistake.”

“No.”

The fervor in Aedion’s voice draws her attention up to his face, and Aelin is jarred by the intensity of his expression. “Aedion-“

“It’s not your fault.” His voice is gravely, and his blue eyes flicker like the heart of a flame. “I don’t give a shit what that bastard thought you accepting his invitation meant. You don’t owe him sex because he buys you a drink.”

“Aedion-“ Aelin tries to interrupt again. A new wave of tears burns her eyes, but Aedion is on a roll and he isn’t going to quite down until he gets out what’s on his mind.

“You don’t deserve to be treated like an object that can be bought.” Aelin can’t look him in the eyes any longer, but a calloused hand guides her face to the crook of his neck.

“His friends are shitty. He should have made them shut up. Ogling you, and making you feel unsafe and uncomfortable aren’t funny jokes.” Aedion goes on as Aelin sniffles into his shirt.

“You deserve respect. It doesn’t matter what you are wearing, what he buys you, or what his expectations are. His behavior isn’t your fault.” Aedion whispers against the top of her head.

Aelin wraps the arm that isn’t squished under her, around his waist. “I love you, Brother Wolf.”

“I love you too, Fireheart.” Aedion kisses her forehead and tugs her closer, the old terms of endearment are exchanged between them with ease.

“I know you are still dealing with everything that happened a couple years ago. I’m happy to remind you how worth it you are whenever you need.”

Aedion was an island of safety in the turbulent ocean of her life. Even when Aelin was small, she’d often go to him before her own parents with her problems. He was steady, and calm. The exact opposite of her own personality.

After the incident, he hadn’t rested until she was safely at his side again. Aedion stood by her faithfully as she picked up the broken pieces of her life and held her hand as she tried to make something new from them.

“How come you already had this movie downloaded onto your phone?” Aelin teased lightly, trying to lighten the mood. “Did you suddenly develop a sense of taste?”

Aedion purses his lips. “Lysandra said this movie is, and I quote, the most accurate depiction of the female experience.” He shakes his head. “I’ve tried to watch it three times, and I still can’t figure out what it’s even about.”

“You are a simple minded creature, cousin.” Aelin grabs her spoon and scoops a melty bite of ice cream into her mouth. “Thank you for coming over.”

“Anytime, Lin.” He leans his cheek on her head as the scene on his phone shifts from the cooler grey tones of the present, back to the warm colors that represented better days. “Anytime.”

~~~

The day started off better than she expected.

Aedion was gone when she woke up- he had to rise at an ungodly hour to make it to the fire station on time.

Yet, he set her alarm clock for her so Aelin woke up in time to get ready for work. He’d also set a glass of water and an Advil tablet on her bedside table to curb the headache she was sure to have from crying.

Aelin made it out the door with enough time to stop and get coffee on the way. She even splurged and got a chocolate hazelnut Frappuccino with enough sugar to smooth her wounded feelings.

It was going so well, Aelin should have known it was the universe winding up to screw her.

It was only a couple hours before she closed shop when Lorcan Salvaterre stepped through her front door.

“Holy shit, it’s you.” Were the first words from his mouth. His dark eyebrows lifted in surprise. “Rowan is going to flip when I tell him I actually found you.”

“What are you doing here?” Aelin’s slammed a stack of books on the counter.

Lorcan looked pensive. “Rowan said you mentioned owning a book store-“ he drags a hand through his dark hair. “I felt like I ruined his chance with you, so I thought I maybe if I apologized-“

“Let me stop you there,” Aelin didn’t bother looking at him as she labeled books and organized them into stacks. “You didn’t ruin anything, you didn’t help, but he screwed up all by himself.”’

“He realizes that,” Lorcan quickly defends, his voice gruff with irritation. “If I can give him your number I’m sure he will grovel for himself.”

Aelin rolls her eyes and slides another stack to the end of the counter. “You don’t get it.”

“Get what?” She can tell he’s losing his patience with her. Lorcan’s remorse only went so far, apparently.

Aedion’s words from earlier rang in her ears as she repeated them back to the man. “He was overbearing the entire time. Had double standard opinions about my life, and disrespected my boundaries.”

Aelin watched as Lorcan shifted on his feet, itching to say something but obviously refraining. Measuring his words carefully he looked her dead in the eye. “Look. He was just trying to impress you. Rowan doesn’t go out often. Don’t you think you are blowing this a little out of proportion?”

Red. Aelin saw red. Tasted it. Like iron in her mouth. Or maybe that was just the blood from biting her tongue so hard. “I’m working right now. You don’t strike me as extremely literate, but I have to ask for you to either buy something or leave.”

Lorcan glowered at her. “Fine.” He turns to walk out, but Aelin hears him call her a bitch under his breath.

Just then, Elide walks inside the shop doors. A backpack slung over her shoulder, finished with her classes at Rifthold U and prepared to work the evening shift with her.

Aelin is relieved for the interruption and about to take full advantage of it, when the small, brown-haired girl catches sight of Lorcan and beams like a rutting lighthouse.

“Lorcan! I didn’t know you were coming into my work, what a surprise.”

Elide. One of her best friends, runs up to the six-two tower of misogynistic cow boys and flings her arms around him. Hugs him.

Ellie she recalls the name being thrown out last night. She hadn’t put two and two together. Ellie was a common name. Of all the people in this city it had to be Elide, Aelin mentally bemoans.

She wonders if Elide knew how her cowboy behaved when she wasn’t around.

It doesn’t matter. Lorcan is all too aware of Aelin’s eyes boring into his skin, and knows he needs to make a quick get away.

“Ellie,” Lorcan pulls away from her. “I just had to see this book shop you are always talking about.”

He kisses her head, and looks at her with feigned remorsefulness. “I must have gotten your shifts mixed up in my head, though. I’m afraid I have to go. We booked a training time for six and I need to brush down Nettie before we start.”

“Oh,” Elide says, a look of genuine disappointment on her face. “That’s fine. Are we still on for a movie tomorrow?”

“Wouldn’t miss it,” he promises. He pecks her one more time on the lips and tips his chin towards Aelin. Anger still bubbling in his eyes. “Good day, ma’am.”

Aelin releases a breath when the doors close behind him.

“I’m so sad I missed him.” Elide frowns, tossing her back pack behind the counter. “At least you got to meet him. What did you think? He’s absolutely dreamy, right?”

Aelin chokes back a gag. “Yeah. He was really charming.”

“And get this,” Elide smiles. “He’s a cowboy. Like an actual, real life cowboy. He rides pulls and does team roping. It’s sexy.”

Aelin can’t hide the grimace this time. “You are like my baby sister. I never want to hear the words sexy from your mouth again.”

At least, never in the context of Lorcan. They’d had plenty of boy talk before.

“He even carries a rope.” Elide wags an eyebrow. “Better to tie me up when we-“

Aelin holds a book over her face. “I’m not listening to this! I will file a report with HR.”

Elide laughs. “You are the boss, Lin. You know we don’t have an HR.”

“I need to get one now,” Aelin grumbles. “I don’t need an image of yours and Lorcan’s naked asses in my head.”

She wanted Lorcan out of her head entirely. Along with Rowan and the rest of their cadre.

“Fine,” Elide sighs wistfully. “One day you will be in love and I won’t hold it against you when you want to talk about whatever babe you wind up with.”

Her eyes get a mischievous glint. “Actually- Lorcan has some really cute friends. I could set you up with?”

Aelin’s brain banks. “No. No thank you. I like being alone. I’m more than enough company for myself.”

“Come on, a double date would be fun!” Elide whines and tugs on her arm. “You never go out any more. We could have a great night out.”

An image of the twins cutting lines on the bar flash across her mind and make her shudder.

“I said no, Elide.” Aelin says a bit more harshly then she intends, but Elide gets the point and backs off.

“Sorry. I won’t mention it again.” Instead of anger she looks at Aelin worriedly.

She kind of hates that more.

“Thanks.” She shakes her head and tries to clear the residual stress from her head. “I have to set up a new shelf display. Want to help?”

Elide lights back up at the prospect. She loved designing and organizing. They have a great time setting displays up together and Aelin knew it would take her mind away from the tension she’d created.

She just really hoped that Elide dating Lorcan wouldn’t drag any drama into her own life. Aelin didn’t care what half asses excuses Lorcan made, she wasn’t interested in seeing Rowan again.

Hello! I’m so glad I got this posted today. 😂 I’m hoping to get the next chapter of DRNS out tomorrow. After that, my birthday is next Tuesday and I reaaallly want to do a mass update of all my fics then as a hooray to 21. (Yes. That is what I’m doing for my 21st 🤣) Hope you enjoyed it!

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watermelonlipstick · 4 years ago

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Dreams, Chapter 8

If you haven’t read this series before, you might want to start on Chapter 1, or check out the Dreams Masterlist! Here’s the series description:

When Dean dies for good leaving Sam and his girlfriend (the reader) behind, they must figure out how to carry on without him. Alone, reeling, and unsure what to do next, trying to honor Dean’s memory and follow their hearts gets even more complicated when their nightmares become dreams that feel a little too real.

Title: Dreams, Chapter 8

Pairing: (past) Dean Winchester x Reader, (eventual) Sam Winchester x Reader

Word Count: 1416

Summary: A dream starts to change the reader’s perspective on her life with Sam.

Warnings: angst, fluff, swearing, s l o w b u r n

It took weeks but the physical touch you’d gotten so used to came back one handhold at a time until finally it seemed like maybe Sam had made peace with The Sledding Incident. You never forced it, didn’t say anything because you didn’t want to push him away. Waiting felt like starving with a ten course meal on a silver platter in front of you, but it paid off. Whether he realized he was rewarding you or not, the space to let Sam process was met with absentminded hands slipped around your waist at the grocery store, non-secrets hummed into the skin of your jaw and neck as you stood just barely too close, loose pieces of hair tucked behind your ear when you washed glasses at the bar. The positive reinforcement limited the clinging you’d been doing since you’d first driven away from the bunker, knowing that the less you clawed at Sam for scraps of attachment the less he felt like you were in too deep to receive it.

Repair by repair the cabin started to feel more like yours. The bathrooms got painted a faint baby blue that reminded you of long cloudless afternoons in Sioux Falls and Sam taught you some basic plumbing to fix the water pressure in the shower. It was only slightly less gross than you thought it would be, but Sam was so excited when you put the plumber’s joint caulk on perfectly that it made up for the limescale gunk under your nails. When you worked, Sam pretty much stopped playing podcasts and books, relying instead on an ever-changing kaleidoscope of music Dean would never have let anyone play in the Impala. Some of it you were pretty sure Sam didn’t even like, almost as if he was trying to learn a new culture by jumping in headfirst.

You kept writing in your journal like you were sending letters back home to Dean from summer camp, giving little updates on the cabin or Sam or ridiculous drama you heard at the bar. At night you and Sam would talk about what should get fixed next and sometimes if you were feeling tough you’d watch Sam look up at the ceiling, hair splayed out on the pillow around him like a halo while he told a story about him and Dean growing up or times you’d been away from them on the road. Every once in a while you’d heard Dean’s perspective of the same event and would give them like a little gift to Sam. His eyes would go soft, hanging on your every word and letting his mouth quirk up a hair at the corners. You’d laugh together, often sadly but surprisingly sometimes not, winding into the crook under his arm and playing the tapes of the memories in your head.

More and more frequently, you’d have good dreams—or rather, non-nightmares. Dean would get hurt and survive or you’d all be on a job together. Right before you woke up he’d be just about to say something important, warn you of something serious but couldn’t spit it out fast enough. It was frustrating, but so much nicer than waking up on soaked pillows that you just put it in a letter to Dean and tried to move on with your daytime projects and nighttime bar work. Some days it felt like you were going to be okay and then the next you’d be impaled on grief so hard you couldn’t even breathe around it. And yet, always Sam to tie yourself to and slide into the next day.

It’s cold but bright, the sunlight reflecting and magnifying itself on the snow blanketing the landscape. Salt crunches under the tires of the Impala, just barely louder than the engine and enough to be aware of through a ZZ Top tape. You’re almost on the edge of drifting asleep on the windowsill when Dean grabs your arm.

“Hey, come on, you can’t leave me.”

The urgency in his tone jolts you alert. “Why? What’s going on?”

“I don’t know how much time I have left. There’s a lot I need to tell you.”

“We haven’t even picked up Sam yet,” you answer, in the self-assuredness of dream logic. “How bad could it be?”

“It’s me, baby. It’s really me. Dead, everything, the works. I need you to focus, I don’t know how long I can stay.”

Some small sub-sub-conscious part of your mind jolts to attention. It feels honest, or at least the closest to honest as you had wanted to be in a while. You let yourself indulge it.

“You, like—really? It’s really…?”

“Yeah, it’s me. I—I don’t know how to—” and you stop him with a furtive kiss, all hunger and no grace, just wanting to feel what it was like to be against him again.

Dean swerves a little when his eyes open, momentarily dazed. “Christ, I forgot how good that was.”

“I don’t—how are you…?” you murmur, having a hard time not only with the information but also with the juxtaposition of your conscious and subconscious knowledge.

“No bullshit, I’m communicating beyond the grave. Don’t tell Miss Cleo,” he answers, the smirk twisting your stomach like a wrench.

“Are you okay? If this is what it’s like to be dead then Sam and I will be here the second I wake up, we’ll just come to you—"

“Babe, I wish you could but it doesn’t work like that. It’s not even really supposed to work like this but Cass is pulling some strings. I only have until your subconscious realizes what’s going on and kicks me out.”

“What? How?”

“The separation between living and dead is a little bit thinner when you’re asleep. It’s actually pretty cool but it’s going to take a while to explain.”

“Okay, right, got to be fast. Fuck, I miss you so much.”

“I miss you too, kid. More than I can explain. But listen, baby, I’m so proud of you for making it this far. It’s going to be okay, I promise. Sam will take care of you, and I know you’re taking care of him the best you can. I don’t know how long I have until you wake up. I’ll keep trying again to come to you, but until the next time I get to see you, my firecracker, you’re so tough. You can do a lot worse than Sam, and I would never, ever hold it against either of you. I’ve been trying to send that—been trying to ram my head through this fucking door about a hundred times by now actually—but if it hasn’t been coming through strongly enough, I’m sorry. I can’t imagine what the fuck I’d be doing if it had been one of you—probably would’ve drunk myself to death by now to be honest—so the fact that you’re so worried about whether necking is going to raise my soul from the depths is actually sorta sweet. Love is complicated and the lines get blurred; I get it, especially now with some damned perspective. As long as I’m still going to be your guy when you get here, that’s all that matters to me. You’re it for me, kid.” He traces a light finger down the side of your cheek and it sends an ache straight into your stomach, makes him look lost for a beat as he takes you in.

“Dean, I love you. I can't—I can’t even tell you how much I love you. I never got to say thank you for all the things you—”

“Hey,” he says, grabbing your chin and holding you still to flick his gaze between your eyes. “I know. There’s no time. You don’t have to say that to me, I know. I always knew. I’m going to try to get to Sam too, but he’s—the angels are shocked at the shit that’s happening in his brain. Makes sense, you know, after everything he’s gone through, but I guess it makes it harder to slip through the cracks. But here: if I can’t do this again; if this is the last time I talk to you until you get back to me, I love you, and I’m going to keep loving you no matter what. The two people I love most in the world being together could never be bad to me, and I will alway—”

And you woke up.

Continue to Dreams, Chapter 9

Thanks again for reading! If you liked it, check out my Masterlist or send me a request!

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ushiwakaout · 4 years ago

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WARNINGS: age gap, student x teacher (platonic then romantic) SPOILERS FOR MANGA CHAPTERS 280+

probably really bad spelling

Ok bitches, it’s midnight and my mind is ROLLING.

This obviously has to do with bakugo. I’m a bakugo kinny so don’t @ me plz.

I really do be thinking that he’d fall in love with his teacher. But like let me explain.

You’re one of his teachers but you aren’t a hero, 100% a vigilante bc you don’t believe in the Hero morals bc you think they are a little twisted. You’re the only teacher in UA who’s not a “real” hero, personally i think Aizawa is a vigilante bc in the beginning we see that he doesn’t like Toshinori and i think it has to do with his Hero ways.

ANYWAYS, getting out of pocket here.

After the UA festival you have a big soft spot for bakugo and midoriya (especially bkg but don’t tell deku). One day he accidentally fell asleep in class bc he’s been having nightmares and you notice. Ofc you do- he’s basically your kid smh. You don’t even bother to wake him and you threaten the ones who try, especially denki and mineta. Your quirk revolves around blood manipulation but u can make it into a physical form (i guess like elsa but w blood/ u can manipulate not just yours) So when they try to wake up bakugo you just put two scary blood creatures beside them and they threaten them for you. If class is over and he’s still asleep, deku looks a little worried but you pat his shoulders and let him know it’s okay.

not you waking him up with a blood figure bc your scared of him 😔 just a lil

he obviously wakes up startled with the blood beside him, unknown to you, it reminded him of the Sludge villain. you rush to his side and start to apologize, stroking his hair but he just slaps your hand away. He’s not used to this type of affection. “Bakugo.... Are you sleeping alright?” He obviously doesn’t crack under the first attempt and decided to leave, calling you an old hag nun the less. He’s muttering “Why should you care?” and “Mind your business old hag.” Mind you, youre only like 7 years older than he is. (Bakugo is 16, aka the oldest of the class making you 23, one of the youngest teachers too) You only stop him seconds before he’s out the door to let him know that he can talk to you when he wants to. Obviously flips u off bc he doesn’t see you like an elder like Aizawa or All Might.

The fourth time Bakugo is distracted or falls asleep, he slips up. You wake him after Iida complained to you about not waking him up, low key threaten him too- u know that he almost murdered stain 💀 shuts him right up. You stroke his hair this time, trying to be gentle and not startle him like last time. You ask if he’s okay again and that’s when he slips up, “Just nightmares n stuff...” He is NOT fully awake or conscious, so he kinda frazzled up again and we are back to our regular program of Bakugo barking in your face to mind your business. But you don’t expect him to say thank you right before he walks out the door. You’re like ????? that’s new.

It’s probably the last time bakugo falls asleep is when he starts developing a crush on you. You run your hands through his hair again and he kinda rubbed into it like a cat being pet behind the ears. Both of you are like 👁👄👁

He BOLTED. No way he had just developed a crush on his teacher. No fucking way. Try’s to distance himself from you. Doesnt sleep in you class anymore. Doesnt ask you for your help or anything. You don’t mind since it seems like he’s getting by better than he was before.

But when he gets captured by the LOV and youre at camp w aizawa as extra help and you don’t see bakugo back with the rest it’s like a piece of your heart was ripped out. ( BTW in this point in time the feelings you have for bakugo ARE NOT ROMANTIC, it’s kinda like Eri and Aizawa situation, you unintentionally took bakugo under your wing and care for him a little bit more than the rest)

You don’t sleep until you find him. You’re at the press conference and you’re blood begins to boil when they said bakugo would become a villain. You spoke over Aizawa “I can assure you that you can drop those theories and accusations of my student. Bakugo Katsuki is talented and strong willed. What you saw during the festival was a mier fragment of who he really is. He’s a good kid who wants to be the number one hero one day... he wouldn’t give that up to be a villain.”

“And how do you know this fire sure, (hero/name)”

“I know my student better than anyone.”

When you hear that Midoriya, Iida, Momo, Kirishima and Todoroki went on a rescue mission to save Bakugo- you freak out. You paced all night until All might won the battle against AFO. Shota called you in the middle of the night to let you know that Bkg was gonna be in the hospital for the night. You rushed over there and once again your blood began to boil- you overheard the converstantion with him and his mother. Her calling him weak. What kind of mother was she?

you purposely walked in, “Oh sorry... You must be the Bakugos, I’m H/N- his teacher.” Mitsuki shook your hand and so did Masaru. You guys chatted a little before they left. “Your fathers such a sweet guy... how’d he end up with your mom?” Bakugo chuckled, “Old hag basically jumped on him at work.” You two chuckled together.

A very long chat between you too happened. More on how he was feeling and how you worried about him. At this point Bakugo knew that he could confide in you... He looked down at his lap and he began to sniffle. Something you where NOT expecting. “It’s all my fault... All might lost his power because of me... Becahse i was weak.” You heart ached for him UGH. Taking his hand in his, “Bakugo you are not weak... You’re the strongest kid I know. This isn’t your fault. If anything it’s mine... I couldn’t protect you kids fast enough... I’m sorry.” Caressing his cheeks. “It’s getting late. Get some sleep bakugo.” Youre about to let go of his hands but his grip gets tighter. “Don’t make me say it old hag.” He mutters before you chuckle a little and sit back down. You fall asleep you head on the edge of his bed, still in your chair while he finally began to drift to sleep. Your hand now in his.

When he figured out Deku’s secret he has one condition. “We tell L/N”

Deku’s like ??? “You mean H/N??? But kacchan!”

“No buts deku! We tell L/N or i tell everyone.”

“All Might! Do something!”

“I trust her”

“HA! Stupid deku!”

Bakugou’s kinda excited to tell you while y’all have tea and discuss Deku’s quirk but your sipping your tea when they tell you and your like “Oh, yeah i kinda figured that out myself... You guys are really bad at hiding a secret.” Bakugo calls the irresponsible and the rest is history 💀

Also you side intern w a 1-B student Shiozaki bc y’all have manipulation quirks and he gets mad jealous 💀💀 also hates that u intern w Vlad King and hang out w Hawks WAY TOO MUch

If he’s ever around you guys and Hawks starts flirting OH MAN bakugou with start to bark.

Hawks is the first person to notice his crush and he tells you and your like “Pft BAKUGOU?? You’re crazy!” but then you low key begin to notice small things that you didn’t before and your like oh- Oh shit.... this ain’t good

“Bakugo, have lunch with me will you?”

Denki and mineta make dirty jokes and you slap both of them w your shadows before the exit class.

You’re both mid into your bento box as you just blurt it out “Do you fancy me Kacchan?” yes u intentionally call him kacchan bc he chokes on the spici bento u made him. “Oh wow... hawks was right...”

“WHAT DID THAT BIRD BRAIN TELL YOU”

“Just told me you had a crush on me... Didnt believe him until now...” You eat a little more bento and just put it down bc ur don’t like the tension in the room. “Bakugo you know nothings going to happen between us right? You’re my student and i care about you. I obviously favor you but that’s all it’s gonna be.”

“Watch your mouth old hag. I’m 18 in two years, let’s see if i don’t come back and bite you in the ass.”

you burst out laughing and he just barks at you for laughing at him. “You will not my dear bakugo. Unless you graduate top of your class, turn 21 and make an image for yourself, then we’ll talk.”

“Mmm i promise ima gonna follow you till u love me too, L/N.”

“you’re disgusting, eat your bento.”

SPOILERS FOR MANGA CHAPTER 280 and ONGOING

You’re horribly injured. Gashes and blood spilling from your wounds as you watch Midoriya fight a battle alone with Shigaraki. Bakugo is sitting you up between his legs, making sure you don’t pass out. Your blood isn’t regenerating your wounds like it usually would. Your body has its limits and you’ve almost passed them.

But when Aizawa goes out cold, Deku claims Nanas float quirk, it’s up to you and Endevor to keep everyone safe, even if your body is screaming at you to sleep and rest.

There’s a moment when you see bakugo look at you when he sees that his child hood friends is in grave danger. “Don’t... BAKUGO!” He’s already in the air and your blood whips aren’t fast enough to move them. Shigaraki is faster and pieces through his chest and abdomen... It’s like you could feel it. “NO!!BAKUGO!!!” Everyone around you can hear the horror in your voice as you push yourself up in the air w the rest of your energy and catch him in your arms before anyone else does, but your body feels limp, luckily enough Todoroki Shoto is seconds behind you and catches the both of you safely.

At this point you can’t even tell who’s blood is on your hands. “You idiot.... Damn it ... Hey, hey you’re alright, look at me Bakugo. You can’t leave me too kid.” If it weren’t for your regeneration you’d probably be passed out the way he is right now. “We’re gonna get you to safety alright.... You gotta keep your promise... as stupid as it is.”

The second your feet step into a medical, everyone is looking at the both of you in horror. You tears a falling onto him and you just look like a tired mess. “Please take him. No- No not me, him! He needs help not me, please.” The doctors are quick and they try to help you but you keep screaming that it’s bakugo that needs help and when he’s not in your arms anymore and you see him getting the help you need that’s when your body collapses into the arms of a doctor.

Once everything is over and everyone is safe. You’re the last one out of the group who wakes up, which frightens bakugo. He’s in his room and he’s nagging you at his nurse to let him see you (your legit a curtain over) but she keeps saying that you need rest and blah blah. “Let the kid in nurse.” You croak and bakugo almost falls off his bed to get to you.

he regrets his decision. you look pissed. “You could have died.” was the first thing you tell him when you see him. “Do you know how selfish that was Bakugo? You could have died in my arms? Did you even think about that-

“My body moved in it’s own...”

*silence*

“I had to do something...”

You start tearing up, “get over here you stupid pomeranian.”

After that you watch Bakugo from afar, you give up you job in UA. You felt unworthy to have that position especially when you couldn’t save your student for the second time. Sometimes bakugo calls you and ask where you are while he’s on a grocery run. “I’m a lot closer than you think Kacchan, now get home safely, it’s getting dark.” You hang up in him and follows him back to UA, making use he’s fine.

This goes on for two year until he graduates. He’s taking pictures with his friends and aizawa gives him a box. “What is this?” he shrugs. “She just dropped it off.” He walks away leaving bakugo confused.

He opens the box and it’s a picture of you and him that Toshinori may have taken while you laughed together eating your bento. Behind the picture, there’s ink w your hand writing “give it back in 3 years” and inside there’s ring hanging on a necklace, he chuckles while reading the next note “p.s i’m not proposing. i just want something else to look forward to other than your presence”

“stupid hag.” he mutters before pulling the necklace over his head and tucking it into his graduate uniform. his hand is over the necklace and you see his smile from the top of the UA roof. When he looks up, he sees you. You smile softly and disappear when he blinks- he was afaid that would happen.

the next three years go by a lot quicker than he realizes. He’s interning under the agency you created w hawks but your no where to do seen. You’re never. in office.

and when april 20th hits, it’s the first time people see you in the office in three years and you go directly to Bakugos cubicle. You place a white box in front of him and smile “Happy birthday Dynamight.” His eyes widen when he locks eyes with you. Your hair is different, you look more like a woman than you did 5 years ago. he’s speechless and u just chuckle and roll your eyes. “My necklace, Kacchan.”

“I want my birthday present first.”

“What are you talking about, the box is your present now hand over my neck-“

“that’s not what i’m talking about.”

“the what-”

all eyes are on you two when pulls you into a kiss that he’s been holding onto for five years. “This necklace is mine now, just like you are. I promised you didn’t i?”

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bellatrixxue · 4 years ago

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Xue’s Supernatural Dare: Wendigo (S1 EP2)

Hello, everyone? How did everyone feel about the finale? Yes? Yes? Oh. Oh. Oh my. Oh, dear.

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell that half-assed homophobic chicken-shit fuckbucket’s not gonna stop me, since I strapped myself onto this roller coaster already and I promised I’m not getting out until the ride’s over, so here we go, wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Also, those who are in this roller coaster with me, ready? Tag list is: @fangirlxwritesx67 @amazingiam00 @kalliravenne @indecisive20something @2musiclover2 @impossibletosleepthrough @there-must-be-a-lock @wingedcatninja @arvit

Oh my gods this recap is so cheesy I actually can make a fondue out of it. 2000s, everybody!

A WHOLE MINUTE AND A HALF FOR THAT FONDUE

FUCKJUMPSCARETITLEFUCKYOU

So we’re starting the episode with the murder scene first, eh? Is that gonna be a trend?

Oh come on, Chads, you’re out in nature and you’re playing video games? Absorb the nature...before it absorbs you!

Waitwait. Holy shit is that...is that Cory Monteith? Oh, bless his soul...

If the wendigo eats his dick as he’s peeing I’m immediately giving Jensen Ackles $100. For no real reason, I just feel like giving him money for already carrying the show on his back.

I can’t tell if it did or not, so I’m not paying yet.

Aw, Sammy...

"I should have told you the truth.” *Vine voice* BUT YOU DIDN’T

FUCKYOUINTHEASSHOhnightmare. Nightmare. So did he visit her at her grave or not? I need answers.

A week? Goddamn. Poor thing. That man-eating tree’s fucking good at his job, man.

“There’s nothing there, it’s just...woods,” Sam, I don’t know if Jess’s death hit you hard or if you got into law school by eating some ancient dick and/or pussy instead of earning that high score fair and square, but the woods “in the middle of nowhere” (your words) are known to be one of the top places full of weird-ass creatures. Even kindergartners know that.

Ehehehehehehehehe he’s so smol next to his lil bro my lil shit

At least you’re coming up with decent covers this time. No Agent Mulder and Scully ruining things for you this time around.

“Bull” oop-

Oh Dean’s a smoooooooooth operator. Good going, buddy.

AND HE GOT A COPY OF THAT DOCUMENT TEAM DEAN TEAM DEAN

Oh that death really got to Sam. I hope he doesn’t turn out to be a trigger-happy psycho. Or eat the man-eating tree and become one himself.

Oh, Haley’s a cutie! Which one’s her brother? Cory? Discount Enrique Iglesias?

Do you have a card for EVERY profession, Dean? And how do I get them too?

That is a very pretty car. I bet they wasted half the budget on that thing.

Okay, sonny boy, little bro, Broseidon, calm down.

Ah, fuck, Haley and Broseidon is gonna go into the woods, that’s more heads to worry about.

How the fuck does Sam find information this fast? I’m impressed, I take five hours to get to one article for my research paper. Or maybe I’m just lazy. So he really earned his law school interview without having to eat dick and pussy, huh.

Every 23 years? What is this, Pennywise? Are we going to see the wendigo do his best Tim Curry do his best scary clown impression? Honk honk?

“Whatever that thing is, it can move.” And the sun rises on the East, Sammy. Why are you so smart and dumb at the same time? Is this his character trait? It might grow on me.

Ahhh, so Sam’s go-to move at interrogation is doing puppy dog eyes and sympathize with the person. He’d make a good lawyer, shame that man-eating tree.

Go Grandpa Exposition, go!

Go Grandpa Exposition, go, give us information and none at all!

OH GEEZ THAT SCAR. PENNYWISE WENDIGO IS VICIOUS.

Skinwalker, Back Dog...Ooh, those all sound cool! I hope we get to see them soon!

‘Corporeal�� doesn’t sound like a real word, but then again, English doesn’t sound like a real language. Sorry. Moving on.

Sam’s gonna eat the wendigo with that attitude, Jesus Christ.

AND HIS BROTHER, AT THIS RATE. If the real villain turns out to be inside Sam all along I’m gonna flip. Is that why women keep dying and burning on ceilings where he sleeps? Is he secretly Lucifer’s spawn or something?

“Oh sweetheart I don’t wear shorts”. They queer-coded him from the start and they tried to make you believe he was straight for fifteen seasons straight? And some people bought that?

Oh, crap, another crappy death treatment for Cory before he got into Glee...No, I wasn’t into Glee, I just watched a few episodes and I might hate Rachel Berry...And Lea Michele...ahem...

Dean is totally flirting with Roy shut upppppppp

OOP AND THERE ROY GOES OH THE SEXUAL TENSION IS HIGH IN THESE WOODS TODAY

“It’s probably the most honest I’ve been with a woman. Ever.” See. Bi. Bi bi bi.

So...why the coordinates, Daddy Negan? Is this a portal to Hell? A place where man-eating trees grow?

*carefully places death flag on Roy*

Ooooh the campsite is very...haunted house-y. You know what I’m saying?

That’s not Discount Enrique Iglesias, but Pennywise wendigo, yes? Those things can mimic human voices, right?

*Google searches*...There are so many versions of this tale I can’t even confirm or deny it. Dammit.

Maybe Pennywise wendigo just wants some snacks and a nice phone and GPS? Maybe he misses his family in uh, Canada or something?

Daddy Negan’s journal is a e s t h e t i q u e .

I’m so sorry, but the way Sammy smirks as he speaks with those dark, dark voids for eyes? My boy’s a demon. He’s a demon, I’m telling you.

At least Haley has some sense to her. *puts another death flag on Roy*

*PUTS YET ANOTHER DEATH FLAG ON ROY*

True, that. What the heck is Daddy Negan up to with all of this?

“Saving people, hunting things, the family business!” Okay, the way Dean said it gave me chills.

I can actually empathize with Sam here...As whiny and bitchy as he is, he has his reasons to be this way. I guess if I were in his shoes, I’d be less of a Dean and more of a Sam, too. We deal with our losses quite similarly.

Ah, the brotherly bonding moments like these little talks make the show worth it. It’s so heartwarming.

Pennywise wendigo! I didn’t miss you, why’re you here to burst my happy bubble?

I’m starting to see a slight parallel between Haley and Broseidon and Dean and Sammy. Hmm.

Nice meeting you, Roy. Zoop you go.

Haley and Broseidon are taking this rather well, I’m glad they do.

Okay, actual exposition time, thank you.

Whoa, Broseidon speaks! Donner Party! Please don’t remind me of that! Those poor people!

Hibernation and food storage. Delightful, just delightful.

TORCHING? *CALLS RAMMSTEIN*

Somehow, not being able to see the wendigo is scarier to me than what I will probably see itself. Limited budget horror can actually work well.

Oh, dear, Roy literally did a death drop. Badum tissssssssss.

FUCK IT TOOK DEAN THE ONLY CHARACTER I CARE ABOUImean I love you too, Sam! Come on, let’s find him before it’s too late!

A trail of M&Ms! Yes, Broseidon! And Hansel and Gretel refercalled it. Sammy, you and I share the same wavelength?

SHITSHITTHEYTRIPPEDANDFELLINTHEFUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

Thank the gods the Pennywise wendigo kept them right there. Chances.

DISCOUNT ENRIQUE IGLESIAS IS STILL ALIVE GEEZ BUT ALSO PHEW

Ah, Dean Winchester, I love you so much that I can’t even begin to describe it.

Also how convenient that the flare guns are there. Deus ex machina!

Haley would bode well as a hunter, look at her courage, her will. There are more hunters around than Daddy Negan and the brothers, right?

Yeah, seeing the actual wendigo makes me less scared of it now. It’s unnerving, but still.

TEAM DEAN YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHAW

Graphics are...alright, but it’s the thought that counts!

Running with the grizzly bear story. Smart Broseidon. Ben. Sorry, you deserve to be called by your real name. I think with practice they could become good hunters, along with their Discount Enrique Iglesias brother! Is there a fanfiction for that? Can I write it now?

...

I AM WILLING TO DIE TO PROTECT DEAN WINCHESTER I

Haley’s a lesbian, that’s why she kissed him on the cheek only. Headcanoned. Also I have a crush on her, she’s really pretty? Like? Heart eyes???

Ah, the siblings parallels again. Let’s hope neither of the two brothers end up in the bed like that.

“Man, I hate camping.” Really. Really really. Really.

“I’m driving”

...

SAM WINCHESTER I’M SORRY I EVER SPOKE ILL OF YOU I WILL PROTECT YOU WITH MY LIFE TOO I PROMISE YOU I WILL

It’s just a sassy bisexual brother and his little snide bisexual brother on the road to kill evil creatures and find their father and I love this show? Help? Help???

I really, really see the charm of Supernatural now! I’m fully invested in both brothers and their story, and I’m cheering them both on! Let’s get Daddy Negan back and get rid of that man-eating tree once and for all!

Six stars out of five!

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

This dare is introducing me to a whole new world, and I really, really am glad I took that jump a few days ago, man!

Thank you everyone for reading my ramblings, and I’ll see you in the day after with the next review! Thank you for sticking with me! Buh-bye!

- Xue

#xue's supernatural dare #spn #supernatural #dean winchester #jensen ackles #sam winchester #jared paladecki #text #i had a really bad day today with my constant pain and aching from the chemo #but this really brought genuine smiles to my face!#what a good show #what a wonderful show #how the FUCK did they fuck it up later #well #i guess i'll find out when i get there lmao

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fineillsignup · 6 years ago

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tips for choosing a Chinese name for your OC when you don’t know Chinese

This is a meta for gifset trade with @purple-fury! Maybe you would like to trade something with me? You can PM me if so!

Choosing a Chinese name, if you don’t know a Chinese language, is difficult, but here’s a secret for you: choosing a Chinese name, when you do know a Chinese language, is also difficult. So, my tip #1 is: Relax. Did you know that Actual Chinese People choose shitty names all the dang time? It’s true!!! Just as you, doubtless, have come across people in your daily life in your native language that you think “God, your parents must have been on SOME SHIT when they named you”, the same is true about Chinese people, now and throughout history. If you choose a shitty name, it’s not the end of the world! Your character’s parents now canonically suck at choosing a name. There, we fixed it!

However. Just because you should not drive yourself to the brink of the grave fretting over choosing a Chinese name for a character, neither does that mean you shouldn’t care at all. Especially, tip #2, Never just pick some syllables that vaguely sound Chinese and call it a day. That shit is awful and tbh it’s as inaccurate and racist as saying “ching chong” to mimic the Chinese language. Examples: Cho Chang from Harry Potter, Tenten from Naruto, and most notorious of all, Fu Manchu and his daughter Fah lo Suee (how the F/UCK did he come up with that one).

So where do you begin then? Well, first you need to pick your character’s surname. This is actually not too difficult, because Chinese actually doesn’t have that many surnames in common use. One hundred surnames cover over eighty percent of China’s population, and in local areas especially, certain surnames within that one hundred are absurdly common, like one out of every ten people you meet is surnamed Wang, for example. Also, if you’re making an OC for an established media franchise, you may already have the surname based on who you want your character related to. Finally, if you’re writing an ethnically Chinese character who was born and raised outside of China, you might only want their surname to be Chinese, and give them a given name from the language/culture of their native country; that’s very very common.

If you don’t have a surname in mind, check out the Wikipedia page for the list of common Chinese surnames, roughly the top one hundred. If you’re not going to pick one of the top one hundred surnames, you should have a good reason why. Now you need to choose a romanization system. You’ll note that the Wikipedia list contains variant spellings. If your character is a Chinese-American (or other non-Chinese country) whose ancestors emigrated before the 1950s (or whose ancestors did not come from mainland China), their name will not be spelled according to pinyin. It might be spelled according to Wade-Giles romanization, or according to the name’s pronunciation in other Chinese languages, or according to what the name sounds like in the language of the country they immigrated to. (The latter is where you get spellings like Lee, Young, Woo, and Law.) A huge proportion of emigration especially came from southern China, where people spoke Cantonese, Min, Hakka, and other non-Mandarin languages.

So, for example, if you want to make a Chinese-Canadian character whose paternal source of their surname immigrated to Canada in the 20s, don’t give them the surname Xie, spelled that way, because #1 that spelling didn’t exist when their first generation ancestor left China and #2 their first generation ancestor was unlikely to have come from a part of China where Mandarin was spoken anyway (although still could have! that’s up to you). Instead, name them Tse, Tze, Sia, Chia, or Hsieh.

If you’re working with a character who lives in, or who left or is descended from people who left mainland China in the 1960s or later; or if you’re working with a historical or mythological setting, then you are going to want to use the pinyin romanization. The reason I say that you should use pinyin for historical or mythological settings is because pinyin is now the official or de facto romanization system for international standards in academia, the United Nations, etc. So if you’re writing a story with characters from ancient China, or medieval China, use pinyin, even though not only pinyin, but the Mandarin pronunciations themselves didn’t exist back then. Just... just accept this. This is one of those quirks of having a non-alphabetic language.

(Here’s an “exceptions” paragraph: there are various well known Chinese names that are typically, even now, transliterated in a non-standard way: Confucius, Mencius, the Yangtze River, Sun Yat-sen, etc. Go ahead and use these if you want. And if you really consciously want to make a Cantonese or Hakka or whatever setting, more power to you, but in that case you better be far beyond needing this tutorial and I don’t know why you’re here. Get. Scoot!)

One last point about names that use the ü with the umlaut over it. The umlaut ü is actually pretty critical for the meaning because wherever the ü appears, the consonant preceding it also can be used with u: lu/lü, nu/nü, etc. However, de facto, lots of individual people, media franchises, etc, simply drop the umlaut and write u instead when writing a name in English, such as “Lu Bu” in the Dynasty Warriors franchise in English (it should be written Lü Bu). And to be fair, since tones are also typically dropped in Latin script and are just as critical to the meaning and pronunciation of the original, dropping the umlaut probably doesn’t make much difference. This is kind of a choice you have to make for yourself. Maybe you even want to play with it! Maybe everybody thinks your character’s surname is pronounced “loo as in loo roll” but SURPRISE MOFO it’s actually lü! You could Do Something with that. Also, in contexts where people want to distinguish between u and ü when typing but don’t have easy access to a keyboard method of making the ü, the typical shorthand is the letter v.

Alright! So you have your surname and you know how you want it spelled using the Latin alphabet. Great! What next?

Alright, so, now we get to the hard part: choosing the given name. No, don’t cry, I know baby I know. We can do this. I believe in you.

Here are some premises we’re going to be operating on, and I’m not entirely sure why I made this a numbered list:

Chinese people, generally, love their kids. (Obviously, like in every culture, there are some awful exceptions, and I’ll give one specific example of this later on.)

As part of loving their kids, they want to give them a Good name.

So what makes a name a Good name??? Well, in Chinese culture, the cultural values (which have changed over time) have tended to prioritize things like: education; clan and family; health and beauty; religious devotions of various religions (Buddhism, Taoism, folk religions, Christianity, other); philosophical beliefs (Buddhism, Confucianism, etc) (see also education); refinement and culture (see also education); moral rectitude; and of course many other things as the individual personally finds important. You’ll notice that education is a big one. If you can’t decide on where to start, something related to education, intelligence, wisdom, knowledge, etc, is a bet that can’t go wrong.

Unlike in English speaking cultures (and I’m going to limit myself to English because we’re writing English and good God look at how long this post is already), there is no canon of “names” in Chinese like there has traditionally been in English. No John, Mary, Susan, Jacob, Maxine, William, and other words that are names and only names and which, historically at least, almost everyone was named. Instead, in Chinese culture, you can basically choose any character you want. You can choose one character, or two characters. (More than two characters? No one can live at that speed. Seriously, do not give your character a given name with more than two characters. If you need this tutorial, you don’t know enough to try it.) Congratulations, it is now a name!!

But what this means is that Chinese names aggressively Mean Something in a way that most English names don’t. You know nature names like Rose and Pearl, and Puritan names like Wrestling, Makepeace, Prudence, Silence, Zeal, and Unity? I mean, yeah, you can technically look up that the name Mary comes from a etymological root meaning bitter, but Mary doesn’t mean bitter in the way that Silence means, well, silence. Chinese names are much much more like the latter, because even though there are some characters that are more common as names than as words, the meaning of the name is still far more upfront than English names.

So the meaning of the name is generally a much more direct expression of those Good Values mentioned before. But it gets more complicated!

Being too direct has, across many eras of Chinese history, been considered crude; the very opposite of the education you’re valuing in the first place. Therefore, rather than the Puritan slap you in the face approach where you just name your kid VIRTUE!, Chinese have typically favoured instead more indirect, related words about these virtues and values, or poetic allusions to same. What might seem like a very blunt, concrete name, such as Guan Yu’s “yu” (which means feather), is actually a poetic, referential name to all the things that feathers evoke: flight, freedom, intellectual broadmindness, protection...

So when you’re choosing a name, you start from the value you want to express, then see where looking up related words in a dictionary gets you until you find something that sounds “like a name”; you can also try researching Chinese art symbolism to get more concrete names. Then, here’s my favourite trick, try combining your fake name with several of the most common surnames: 王，李，陈. And Google that shit. If you find Actual Human Beings with that name: congratulations, at least if you did f/uck up, somebody else out there f/ucked up first and stuck a Human Being with it, so you’re still doing better than they are. High five!

You’re going to stick with the same romanization system (or lack thereof) as you’ve used for the surname. In the interests of time, I’m going to focus on pinyin only.

First let’s take a look at some real and actual Chinese names and talk about what they mean, why they might have been chosen, and also some fictional OC names that I’ve come up with that riff off of these actual Chinese names. And then we’ll go over some resources and also some pitfalls. Hopefully you can learn by example! Fun!!!

Let’s start with two great historical strategists: Zhuge Liang and Zhou Yu, and the names I picked for some (fictional) sons of theirs. Then I will be talking about Sun Shangxiang and Guan Yinping, two historical-legendary women of the same era, and what I named their fictional daughters. And finally I’ll be talking about historical Chinese pirate Gan Ning and what I named his fictional wife and fictional daughter. Uh, this could be considered spoilers for my novel Clouds and Rain and associated one-shots in that universe, so you probably want to go and read that work... and its prequels... and leave lots of comments and kudos first and then come back. Don’t worry, I’ll wait.

(I’m just kidding you don’t need to know a thing about my work to find this useful.)

ZHUGE Liang is written 諸葛亮 in traditional Chinese characters and 诸葛亮 in simplified Chinese characters. It is a two-character surname. Two character surnames used to be more common than they are now. When I read Chinese history, I notice that two character surname clans seem to have a bad habit of flying real high and then getting the Icarus treatment if Icarus when his wings melted also got beheaded and had the Nine Familial Exterminations performed on his clan. Yikes. Sooner or later that'll cost ya.

But anyway. Zhuge means “lots of kudzu”, which if you have been to the American south you know is that only way that kudzu comes. Liang means “light, shining” in the sense of daylight, moonlight, etc; and from this literal meaning also such figurative meanings as reveal or clear. (I’m going to talk about words have a primary and secondary meaning in this way because I think it’s important for understanding. It’s just like how in English, ‘run’ has many meanings, but almost of all them are derived from a primary meaning of ‘to move fast via one’s human legs’, if I can be weird for a moment. “Run” as in “home run” comes from that, “run” as in “run in your stocking” comes from that, “run” as in “that’ll run you at least $200″ comes from that. You have to get it straight which is the primary meaning, which is the one that people think of first and they way they get to the secondary meaning.)

“Light” has a similar “enlightenment” concept in Chinese as in English, so the person who chose Zhuge Liang’s name—most likely his father or grandfather—clearly valued learning.

I named my fictional son for Zhuge Liang Zhuge Jing 京. The value or direction I was coming from is that Zhuge Liang has come to the decision that he has to nurture the next generation for the benefit of the land, that he has to remain in the world in a way that he very much did not want to do when he himself was a young man. In this alternate universe, Liu Bei has formed a new Han dynasty and recaptured Luoyang, so when Zhuge Liang’s son is then born he chooses this name Jing which means literally “capital”. This concrete name is meant as an allusion to a devotion to public service and to remaining “central”. After I chose this name, I discovered that Zhuge Liang actually has a recorded grandson named Zhuge Jing with this same character.

above, me, realizing I picked a good name

ZHOU Yu is written 周瑜 in both simplified and traditional Chinese characters.

The surname Zhou was and remains a very common Chinese surname whose original meaning was like... a really nice field. Like just the greatest f/ucking field you’ve ever seen. “Dang, that is a sweet field” said an ancient Chinese farmer, “I’m gonna make a new Chinese character to record just how great it is.” And then it came to mean things along the line of complete and thorough.

Yu means the excellence of a gemstone--its brilliance, lustre, etc, as opposed to its flaws. It is not a common word but does appear in some expressions such as 瑕不掩瑜 "a flaw does not conceal the rest of the gemstone's beauty; a defect does not mean the whole thing is bad".

Zhou Yu has gone down in history for being not only smart but also artistic and handsome. A real triple threat. And this name speaks to a family that valued art and beauty. It really does suit him.

Zhou Yu had two recorded sons but in my alternate history I gave him four. I borrowed the first one’s name from history: Xun 循, follow. Based on this name, I chose other names that I thought gave a similar sense of his values: Shou 守, guard; Wen 聞, listen. The youngest one I had born when he already knew he was dying, and things had not been going well generally; therefore I had him give him the name Shen 慎, which means “careful, cautious”.

SUN Shangxiang 孫尚香 is one of several names that history and legend give for a sister of w//arlord-king Sun Quan who was married to a rival w//arlord named Liu Bei in a marriage which, historically, uh, didn’t... didn’t go all that well. In my alternate history it goes well! You can’t stop me, I’ve already done it!

The surname Sun means “grandson” and the given name components are Shang mean “values, esteems” and Xiang “scent” which we can combine into meaning something like “precious perfume”. A lot of the recorded names for women in this era (a huge number didn’t have any names recorded, a problem in itself) seem to me to be more concrete, to contain more objects, to be more focused on affection, less focused on hopes and dreams. This makes sense for the era: you love your daughters (I HOPE) but then they get married and leave you. You don’t have long term plans for them because their long term belongs to another clan.

I gave her daughter by Liu Bei the name Liu Yitao 劉義桃. Yi 義 meaning righteousness, rectitude and 桃 meaning... peach. Okay, okay, I know "righteous peach" sounds damn funny in English, but the legendary oath in the peach garden, the "oath of brotherhood" is called in Chinese 結義 "tying righteousness" and the peach garden is, uh, a peach garden. I also give her the cutesy nickname Taotao 桃桃 which you could compare to “Peaches” or “Peachy”. Reduplication of a character in a two-character name is a classic nickname strategy in Chinese.

GUAN Yinping 關銀屏/关银屏 is a “made up” (scare quotes because old legends have their own kind of validity, fight me) name for a historical daughter of Guan Yu. Guan means “to close (a door)”. Yin means “silver” and ping means “a screen, to hide” and according to the legend, her father’s oath brother Zhang Fei named her after a silver treasure. So here again we see a name for a woman that completely lacks the kind of aspirations we see in male names. Who would have an aspiration for a daughter?

My fictional characters, that’s who. I named her daughter Lu Ruofeng 陸若鳳/陆若凤, Ruo (like the) Feng (phoenix), based on a quote from a Confucian text about what one should try to be during both times of chaos and times of good government. I portray her father as a devoted Confucian scholar, so that was another factor for why I looked to Confucian texts for a source of a name.

Modern parents also now have big dreams for their daughters :’) and so modern girls receive names that are far more similar to how boys are named.

GAN Ning 甘寧/甘宁 is a great example of a person whose name does not suit him. Gan 甘 depicts a tongue and means “sweet”, and Ning 寧 which shows a bowl and table and heart beneath a roof means “peaceful”. Which, it would be hard to come up with a name for this guy, a ruthless pirate turned extremely effective general:

that is less suitable than essentially being named “Sweet Peace”.

And when he was an adult, his style name—a name that Chinese men used to be given when they turned 20 (ie became adults) by East Asian reckoning—indeed reflects that. Choosing your own style name was widely considered to be crass. I absolutely think that Gan Ning chose his own style name; he was that kind of a guy. And the name he chose! Xingba 興霸/兴霸! I’ve never seen another style name like it. It means, basically, “thriving dominator”! Brand new official adult Gan Ning treats his style name like he’s picking his Xbox gamer tag and he picks BadassBoss69_420, that’s what this style name is like to me. Except, you know, he had almost certainly killed many hundreds of people by the time he was nineteen, so, uh, it wouldn’t be a wise idea to make fun of his name to his face.

In my fictional version of his life, he married a woman whose father was the exception to the “parents love their children” rule and who named his daughter Pandi 盼第 “expecting a younger brother”, which is a classic “daughters ain’t shit, I want a son” name. Real and actual Chinese women have been given this shitty name and ones like it.

Because Gan Ning had an ironically placid name, I also gave his daughter the placid single character name Wan 婉, which means “gentle, restrained”, as a foil to her wild personality.

So there are a bunch of examples of some historical characters and some OCs and how I chose their names. “But wait, all that was really cool, but how can I do that? You can read Chinese, I can’t!”

I originally had a bunch of links here to dictionaries and resources but Tumblr :) wouldn’t let the post show up in tag search with all the links :) :) :) so you need to check the reblogs of this post to see my own reblog; that reblog has all the links. I’M SORRY ABOUT THIS. Here are a list of the sites without the links if you want to Google them yourself.

MDBG - an open source dictionary - start here

Wiktionary - don’t knock it til you try it

iCIBA (they recently changed their user interface and it’s much less English-speaker friendly now but it’s still a great dictionary)

Pleco (an iOS app, maybe also Android???) contains same open source dictionary as MDBG and also its own proprietary dictionary

Chinese Etymology at hanziyuan dot net

You search some English keywords from the value you want, and then you see what kind of characters you get. You should take the character and then reverse search, making sure that it doesn’t have negative words/meanings, and similar. Look into the etymology and see if it has any thematic elements that appeal to what you’re doing with the character--eg a fire radical for a character with fire powers.

And then, like I mention before, when you have got a couple characters and you think “I think this could be a good name”, you go to Google, you take a very common surname, you append your chosen name—don’t forget to use quotation marks—and you see what happens. Did you get some results? Even better, did you get lots of results? Then you’re probably safe! No results does not necessarily mean your name won’t work, but you should probably run it by an Actual Chinese Native Speaker at that point to check. Also, remember, as I said at the beginning, sometimes people have weird names. If you consciously decide “you know what, I think this character’s parents would choose a weird name”, then own that.

THINGS YOU SHOULD PROBABLY IGNORE!

Starting in relatively recent history (not really a big thing until Song dynasty) and continuing, moreso outside of mainland China, to the modern day, there is something called a generation name component to a name. This means that of a name’s two characters, one of the characters is shared with every other paternal line relative of that person’s generation; historically, usually only boys get a generation name and girls don’t. (Chinese history, banging on pots and pans: DAUGHTERS AIN’T SHIT AND DON’T FORGET IT!) “Generation” here means everyone who is equidistant descendant from some past ancestor, not necessarily that they are exactly the same age. For example, all of ancestor’s X’s sons share the character 一 in their names, his grandsons all have the character 二，great-grandsons 三, great-great-grandsons 四 (I just used numbers because I’m lazy). By the time you get to great-great-grandson, you might have some that are forty years old and some that are babies (because of how old their fathers were when they were conceived), but they are still the same generation.

In some clans, this tradition goes so far as to have something called a name poem, where the generations cycle, character by character, through a poem that was specifically written for this purpose and which is generally about how their clan is super rad.

If you want to riff off of this idea and have siblings or paternal cousins share a character in their names, ok, but it genuinely isn’t necessary. Anyone with a single character name obviously doesn’t have one of these generation names, and by no means does every person with a two character name (especially female) have a generation name. If you’re doing an OC for an ancient Chinese setting (certainly anything before the year about 500), you shouldn’t use these generation names because it wasn’t a thing. Also, in a modern setting, even if such a generation name or name poem exists, it’s not like there is any legal requirement to use it (though there may be family pressure to do so).

As a further complication, some parents do the shared character thing among their children without it actually being a generation name per se because it isn’t shared by any cousins. Or, they have all their children (or all their children of the same gender) share a radical, which is a meaning component in a Chinese character.

If someone does have one of these shared character names, then their nickname will never come from that shared character; either they will be called by the full name or by some name riffing off of the character that is not shared. For example, I knew a pair of sisters called Yuru and Yufei with the same first character; the first sister went by her English name in daily life (even when speaking Chinese) while the second sister was called Feifei.

tl;dr If you don’t already know Chinese, consider generation names an extra complication for masochists only. Definitely not required for modern characters.

Fortune telling is another thing that I think you should either ignore or wildly make up. Do you know what ordinary Chinese people who want to choose a lucky name for their child do? They hire someone to work it out. This is not some DIY shit even if you are deeply immured in the culture. There are considerations of the number of strokes, the radicals, the birth date, the birth hour. You’re the god of your fictional universe, so go ahead and unilaterally declare that your desired names are lucky or unlucky as suits the story if you want to.

MILK NAMES

In modern times, babies get named right away, if for no other reason that the government requires it everywhere in the world for record keeping purposes.

However, in traditional times, Chinese people did not give babies a permanent name right away, instead waiting until a certain period of time had passed (3 months/100 days is a classic).

What do you call the baby in the meantime? A milk name 乳名, which your (close, older than you) family may or may not keep on using for you until such time as you die, just so that you remember that you used to be a funny looking little raisin that peed on people.

This kind of name is almost always very humble, sometimes to the point of being outright insulting. This is because to use any name on your baby that implies you might actually like the little thing is tempting Bad News. Possible exception: sometimes a baby would receive a milk name that dedicated it to some deity. In this case, I guess you’re hoping that deity will be flattered enough to take on the job of shooing away all the other spirits and things that might be otherwise attracted to this Delicious Fresh Baby.

Because milk names were only used by one’s (older) family and very close family friends of one’s parents/grandparents, most people’s milk names are not recorded or known, with some notable exceptions. Liu Shan, the son of Liu Bei, who as a baby was rescued by Zhao Yun during the Shu forces retreat from Changban. Perhaps because his big debut in history/legend was as a baby, he is well-known for his milk name A-Dou 阿斗, which means, essentially, Dipper.

If you’re writing a story, you really only need to worry about a milk name for your character if it’s a historical (or pseudohistorical) setting, and even then only if the character either makes an appearance as a small infant or you consciously decide to have them interact with characters who knew them well as a small child and choose to continue using the milk name. Not all parents, etc who could use the milk name with a youth or an adult actually did so.

Here are some milk names I’ve come up with in my fiction: Little Mouse/Xiaoshu 小鼠 for a girl, Tadpole/Kedou 蝌蚪 for a boy, and Shouty/A-Yao 阿吆 for a boy. In the first two cases the babies were both smol and quiet (as babies go). The last one neither small nor quiet, ahahaha. 蔷蔷 Qiangqiang, which is a pretty enough name meaning “wild rose” (duplication to make it lighter), except the baby is a boy, so this is the typical idea that making a boy feminine makes him worth less, which, yikes, but also, historically accurate. Also Xiaohei 小黑 “Blackie” for a work that I will probably never publish because I don’t ever see myself finishing it. I might recycle it to use on another story.

Here are some more milk names I came up with off the cuff for a friend that wanted an insulting milk name. They ended up not using any of these, so feel free to use, no credit necessary. Rongzi 冗子 “Unwanted Child”; Xiaochou 小丑 “Little Ugly”; A-Xu 阿虛 “Empty”; Pangzhu 胖豬 “Fat Pig”; Shasha 傻傻 “Dummy”.

PITFALLS!

Chinese has a lot of homophones. Like, so many, you cannot even believe. That means the potential for puns, double meanings, etc, is off the charts. And this can be bad, real real bad, when it comes to names. It is way too easy to pick a name and think to yourself “wow, this name is great” and then realize later that the name sounds exactly the same as “cat shit” or something even worse.

Some Chinese families live the name choosing life on hard mode because their surname is itself a homonym that can make almost any name sound bad. I’m speaking of course of the poor Wus and Bus of the world. You see Wu may have innocuous and pleasant surnames associated with it, but it also means “without, un-”. (Bu is similar, sounds like “no, not”.) Suddenly, any pleasant name you give your kid, your kid is NOT that thing.

This means picking a name that is pleasant in itself yet also somehow also pleasant when combined with Wu. So you might pick a character with a sound like Ting, Xian, Hui, or Liang - unstopping, unlimited, no regrets, immeasurable. A positive negative name, a kind of paradox. Like I said, this is naming on hard mode.

If you are naming an ancient character, I am going to say in my opinion you should ignore all considerations of sound, because reconstruction of ancient Chinese pronunciations is on some other, other level of pedantic and you just don’t need to do that to yourself.

For modern characters, however, an attractive name, in general, should be a mix of tones and a mix of sounds. As a non-Chinese speaker, basically this means especially if you go for a two character given name, having all three characters start with the same sound, or end with the same sound, can sound kind of tongue twistery and thus silly/stupid. That doesn’t mean that such names never exist, and can in some cases even sound good (or at least memorable), but how likely is it that you’ve found the exception? Not very. (Two out of three having repetition isn’t bad. It’s three out of three you have to be careful of. Something like Wang Fang or Zhou Pengpeng is probably fine; it’s something over the top like Guan Guangguo or Li Lili you want to avoid.)

Just like the West (sigh), in the modern Sinosphere it is widely acceptable for girls to have masculine names but totally unacceptable for boys to have feminine names. If you see the radical 女 which means woman, don’t choose that character for a boy, at least if you’re trying to be realistic. Now Chinese ideas of masculinity doesn’t have the same boundaries as Western ideas, but if you want to play around in those boundaries, you gotta do that research on your own; you’ve left what I can teach you in this already entirely too long tutorial.

Don’t name a character after someone else in story, or after a famous person. In some/many Western cultures, and actually in some Eastern cultures too (Japan is basically fine with this, for example), naming a baby the same name as someone else (a relative, a saint, a famous person, etc), is a respected and popular way to honour that person.

But not in Chinese culture, not now, not a thousand years ago, not two thousand years ago. (Disclaimer: I bet there is some weird rare exception that, eventually, somebody will “gotcha” me with. I am prepared to be amazed and delighted when this occurs.)

Part of this is because of a fundamentally different idea in Chinese culture vs many other cultures about what is valuing vs disrespecting with regard to personal names. The highest respect paid in Chinese history to a category of personal names is to the emperor, and what would happen there is that it would be under name taboo, a very serious and onerous custom where you not only have to not say the emperor’s name, but you can’t say anything that sounds the same as the emperor’s name.

Did I mention that this is in the language of CRAZY GO NUTS numbers of homonyms? The day-to-day troubles caused by observing name taboo were so potentially intense that there are even instances where, before ascending to the imperial throne, the emperor-to-be would change his name to something that was easier to observe taboo about!

So you see this is an attitude that says: if you want to honour and show respect to somebody, you don’t speak their name.

As the highest person in the land, only the emperor gets this extreme level of avoidance, but it trickles down all through society. You can’t use the personal names of people superior to you. Naming a baby after someone inherently throws the hierarchy out of whack. Now you have a young baby with the same name as a grown adult, or even a dead person, who is due honour from their rank in life. People who would not be permitted to use the inspiration’s name may now use that name because they are superior to the baby who received the name! This would mean that hierarchy was not being preserved, and oh my heaven, is there anything worse than hierarchy not being preserved? All of Chinese History: Noooooo!

Now. As an author—and I hope to God no one is using my Chinese name guide as a resource to name an actual human baby because I can’t take that kind of pressure—you can use the names of characters to inspire the names of other characters, in the following way.

Remember that I said that the key, the starting point, to naming someone in Chinese is to start from a value. Okay. So what you do, if as the author you want to draw a thematic connection between two fictional characters, is take the Inspiration character’s name, think about what the value is that caused that name to be chosen, and then go from that value to choose the New Character’s name.

If you’ll recall what I said about Gan Ning and his baby Wan, this is exactly the approach I took. Gan Ning had a placid single character name that belied his violent and outrageous personality; I chose a placid single character name for his similarly wild daughter to make them thematically similar. As an author, I named his baby after him. But within the context of the story, she was not named after him. Does the distinction make sense?

Values also run in families for obvious reasons. It’s very common to look at a family tree and see lots of names that follow a kind of theme and give you a sense that, eg, this family is rather low class and uneducated; this family is very erudite but a bit too fussy about it; this family is really big on Confucianism. So yes, as an author, looking to other characters for inspiration is not a bad idea.

Remember, a lot of times, as an author, you can and even should kick realism to the curb sometimes. If you want to make some Ominous Foreshadowing that Character A’s name is something to do with fire but! They name their child something to do with water and therefore they are destined to clash with their own offspring, gasp, you can do that kind of thing because you are the god of your universe. Relish your power.

Do you have any more questions? Feel free to send a PM or an ask. I hope this was helpful! Go forth and name your Chinese OCs with slightly more confidence!

Edit 22 April 2019: I added some more sections (fortune telling, Milk Names, and taboo on naming after people). I also need to overhaul the entirety of the previous to emphasize that even thought I thoughtlessly used “Chinese” as if it was synonymous with “Han”, there are non-Han Chinese and they can have very different naming customs. Mea culpa.

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missdutch21md · 4 years ago

Text

Gas Station Saviors

A/N: so instead of going to therapy. I wrote this about something that happened on Halloween this year. So. There’s that. 🥴🥴 anywho please everyone stay safe in these times of plague and don’t do like these characters do only go outside if you absolutely must!

Genre: crack (?) 😜 mature 🔞

Pairing: OT7 x main character (reader)

Length: 9.1k

⚠️warnings ⚠️: mentions of loss, alcohol consumption, mentions of COVID 19 (please social distance unlike the characters in this one shot), panic attack mentions

M. L i s t | Request

It was another endless day. The fact that the calendar date was October 31st did nothing to influence my schedule into being less demanding. I sighed as I sat back at my desk, finally able to clock out for the day.

During the times of pandemic, work only got busier, which was great for my wallet, but my mind was becoming increasingly vacant as the days turned into weeks and then months. I heard the rest of my family down stairs as I sat back wondering how much longer life would continue on like this.

I watched as the time on the clock kept blinking back at me, unfeeling. [5:45 pm.]

Another sigh left my lips as I heard my grandmother calling out to my cousins to pick up after themselves. Dinner must be coming to a close, I hummed. I grabbed my headphones and my phone after slipping on a pair of sweatpants. I was used to eating on my own these days. My family never waited for me anymore.

And thank goodness I did. Coming down the stairs I saw a person I had never met before. “Oh, ____, you’re home!” my older cousin smiled. “This is my girlfriend, Sarah.”

He was smiling, nothing ever seemed to affect him, not even the pandemic. Here he was, introducing me to his new girlfriend. I smiled as my mind was shouting insults at the family that I was stuck living with. “Nice to meet you,” she moved to shake my hand but I stepped back and then her face seemed to color with understanding. I couldn't believe it, here I was, separating myself from my friends, the guy that I liked, and my dad and a whole other side of my family. But of course, social distancing didn’t apply to my cousin. He was allowed to do just about anything he wanted.

“Oh, Princess?” my mom came up behind me and steered me into the kitchen, her soft dulcet tones calming as she plated a hefty plate of food for me. Mom was always doing that, steering me away from things and situations, good and bad.

The tension I felt settled in my brow and my shoulders as I was sat down at the now empty table to eat. I fished my headphones out of my pocket along with my phone and put on a BTS music video, Dynamite, I decided, I needed something to make me smile. Just watching the seven idols always put a smile on my face. Once the song stopped playing, I sent a text to the guy I was crushing on, asking if he had plans tonight.

[6:01 PM] to: tall boi u wanna hang out—or r u busy? C:

I went back to YouTube and selected an old BTS bomb to watch while I finished eating. Walking back into the kitchen, I plated the rest of my food into a Tupperware box laughing and smiling at the seven boys that I basically grew up with.

“Plans for tonight, Princess?” my mom was all smiles as she filled her wine glass again.

I gave her a small smile, “possibly, I’ll let you know.”

“Perfect, you should put make up on if you decide to go out,” she briefly touched my cheek and floated back to the sofa to get back to her tele-novella. I sighed, she was right, it had been weeks since I felt like a person, I made my way upstairs to my room and put my music on shuffle while I got ready.

My makeup was all done, and I was picking out an outfit. I finally settled on a cropped black long sleeve sweater and striped pants that made my butt look really cute. Satisfied with my selection, I got dressed, and because I was antsy, I grabbed my keys and told my mom I was leaving.

I was bounding out the door in minutes, the sounds of screams from haunted houses were rising in the air, and there was a subtle mist that clung to the dark asphalt of the street like a thick blanket. I smiled as the scent of fog machines and the chilling sounds of haunted house albums greeted me before I placed my hand on the driver’s door handle unlocking my car and climbing in.

The long coat that I draped over my shoulders was already making me too warm as I settled into my seat and waited for the music to connect to the speakers.

My Time softly greeted my ears as I turned on my seat warmer and adjusted the air settings in my car so that I was comfortable.

I checked my phone one last time before I peeled out of my parking space and decided that a night time drive through the canyon would be very relaxing. It also took me in his direction so if he ended up wanting to meet up, I would be closer than usual.

As I turned onto the main road leading down to the canyon, my car alerted me of his text.

[7:45 PM] from: tall boi can’t im super busy

I tried to push back the disappointment that took hold of my heart. Only one year before, we had spent this exact night laughing, eating candy and watching TV in his apartment. The sting of tears threatened to escape from my lashes, but I did my best to not allow them to fall. I further resolved to drive completely through the canyon to end up in the city.

With my mind made up, I cranked up ON by BTS as it started playing through the speakers. I slowly came to a stop at the streetlight and shifted my car into sport mode. Once the light turned green, I was off merging into the next lane getting in front of the slower cars and pulled ahead.

Soon, I was curving down into the canyon, the forest coming up and creating a canopy over the road. I had always loved driving down into the canyon and now it was the route most travelled when going to visit my grandpa’s grave. A left-handed turn had me pulling into the outskirts of the city. I kept to the outskirts, not wanting to get mixed up in any traffic and then kept going north. Finally, my destination came up, In n Out. I smiled happily as I got in line.

After acquiring my sustenance, I made my way over to the nearest park to sit and enjoy my strawberry milkshake and my steaming hot French Fries. Softly, BTS was still playing through my speakers as I scrolled through my phone mindlessly. After another half hour, I got bored and decided to finally start making the long trek home.

I started up my car again and back tracked briefly to stop at a gas station to fill up my tank before getting back on the road. I killed the engine and fished out my wallet from my purse to pay for my gas. The gas station had been full of cars. A family, two couples and an elderly man. I stood with my phone and scrolled more while waiting for the tank to fill. I suddenly remembered about the trash in my car and threw it out.

Once the gas line popped, I grabbed a napkin to wipe off the gas tank on my car and removed the gas line. I turned back to the console and keyed in for it to print a receipt. At that moment I heard a shout from behind me and turned in surprise. When I turned again to watch where the scream came from, I saw a short man with a ripped tank top on. A quick glance around told me all the other cars had gone at some point. I clutched onto my phone tighter, unsure if I should really even worry.

My eyes widened in shock; I had no idea where this person came from. But I seemed to have drawn attention to myself because he changed his trajectory after our eyes met. He stumbled away a little and I let out a sigh of relief as I returned the gas line and impatiently tapped my foot, waiting for the receipt to print. There was another shout and I turned to see he was no longer making his way to the car at the air pump ahead of where I parked —where had it even come from?—he was making his way over to me and he had a sinister smile on his face. My hands started to shake, and I bared my teeth in warning.

He must have taken it as a smile because his eyes lit up in a disgusting way. My breath hitched in my throat as I saw another guy make his way over from my left. And then the car at the air pump started. The first guy waved at the car signaling for it to come closer. My hands were shaking as I hastily reached for the receipt that finally printed and then a sweet, melodic voice greeted me from behind.

“Hey Babe, still getting gas?” I turned to give the person a piece of my mind, or scream—I wasn’t sure— when I stopped and my mouth fell open slightly at the sight that greeted me.

My eyes landed on The Jeon Jungkook. “H-hi,” I stuttered. My hand was still reaching for the receipt from the console, stuck in shock. Jungkook seemed to notice and grabbed onto my wrist, my cellphone was still clutched in my grasp, to tug me gently in his direction.

The two guys that were making their way over to my car were stopped at the front by the hood, watching the scene play out. “You scared me, Kookie!” I giggled then, the adrenaline or something kicked me into gear and I grabbed onto him leaning in for support. I tried to playfully swat at his arm but couldn’t help but wonder if I was shaking too much to really sell it.

“Who are your friends?” he asked me jutting his chin at the older men.

I shook my head, “I don’t know them,” and pulled him closer and he easily stepped up to put me slightly behind him.

Suddenly, I heard the voices of other BTS members, I heard Jimin louder than the others though. “Jungkook-ah!” he called out loudly.

The two men at the hood of my car snapped their gaze in that direction when they previously seemed to be deciding whether they could take on Jungkook, but at the sound of the rest of the members, they seemed to rethink it. Jungkook called out something in Korean and the sound of footfalls was heard, once the other six made their way to where we were, the two older men backed up and got into the waiting car. After a moment, they drove off and I only calmed down once I was sure they had left. I physically sagged into Jungkook’s back and moved to lean against my car and covered my face.

The boys were all speaking so fast, I started feeling dizzy and there was a growing ringing in my ears. I slowly sank down using my car for support and didn’t even look at the 7 men stood before me. Softly, I heard a gentle voice trying to bring me back. “Are you okay?”

I blinked, when had my vision gotten so blurry? I turned to the right when there was a gentle touch to my arm. I was then greeted with Jungkook’s soft face his eyes wide with worry. Suddenly, the full implications of what just almost happened hit me like a bucket of ice-cold water and tears came.

He let out a surprised sound and the others seemed to quiet down at the sound of my cries. I covered my face again with my hands and my whole body shook. I felt a strong comforting hand on my back and running through my hair. I leaned into the touch and was glad that I was being allowed this moment to process what just happened.

After a couple of minutes, I calmed down enough to not lean on the person anymore. I moved away slightly and tried to stand up. Hands were offered to me and hands on my hips also helped steady me as I stood again.

“You’re really here?” I gasped in amazement when I took in the sight of BTS in front of me.

Namjoon laughed and Yoongi gave me a soft reassuring smile Jin and Jimin nodded. I looked to my right and saw and then finally felt Jungkook beside me. “Oh my god,” I stilled. I covered my face again, though this time, it was from embarrassment. “I look like a mess.”

Suddenly, it was like they realized that I knew who they were. “Are you ARMY?” Hoseok asked tentatively.

I nodded, “yes, I’m ARMY,” I smiled and I couldn’t suppress my happiness anymore. I was having serious emotional whiplash. “Thank you,” I told the members and then turned to Jungkook and bowed to 90 degrees. “Thank you,” I tried to bow several times and then he put his hands on my shoulders trying to stop me.

“No, no” he shook his head. “It’s okay.”

I shook my head again and then Namjoon stepped in here. “Are you feeling okay?” I felt that I was still trembling but I nodded and Namjoon seemed to read me like an open book. “We are leaving to get dinner would you please join us?”

I shook my head, as I looked at all of them. “I can't ruin your plans like that.”

“You wouldn’t ruin our plans,” it was Yoongi who spoke up then.

“What’s your name?” Jimin asked softly.

I gasped not believing I could be so rude and bowed again, “____ imnida.”

“Wooo~” it was Seokjin who gaped at me.

“I forgot all of my Korean,” I apologized blushing more.

“That’s okay, we speak English,” Hoseok smiled warmly at me.

“I know,” I blushed. “Where are you having dinner?”

“BCD, you know it?” Taehyung finally spoke up.

I nodded, “I love to eat there! Their kalbi is delicious!”

Jimin, Taehyung and Jungkook all smiled and laughed at my reaction. The older men seemed surprised and glad that I was even interested.

“Can I go with you?” I blinked. Right. I had my car. I turned and smiled with a nod to Jungkook.

“If you like, I just gave to move my coat.” I smiled warmly at him.

I was making my way to the passenger door and then remembered the door was locked so I back tracked and leaned into the cab from the driver’s door to reach for my things and move them around. I scrambled around and I didn’t even think twice as I busied myself wish my task that they would be watching me. Suddenly the chatter around them got a little quiet and then stopped. I settled for draping my coat along the middle console and letting my backpack rest on the floor right in front of my seat. I made sure that it was closed properly so nothing would go rolling around.

I stood back up and turned to face the seven men that kept me sane for the last 7 years and couldn’t help but be stunned by them yet again. Yoongi and Jungkook had been watching me closely it seemed and the others had their gazed pointedly fixed somewhere else. And then I remembered I was wearing pants that made my butt look delectable. I blushed and unlocked the car doors and told them I was ready.

Jungkook nodded and moved past me and rest his hand on my hip lightly. I’d never been one to openly drool or be affected by just a man’s touch. Maybe it’s because it was Jungkook or maybe there was just something in the air because of Halloween. But I felt a warmth stir in the pit of my stomach and bit down on my lip to keep myself in check.

“D-Does anyone else w-want to come along?” I smiled flushing hot, but now, from embarrassment.

Taehyung nodded and moved to go sit behind Jungkook in the back seat and Jimin followed after. As the younger boys climbed into the car, I heard Jungkook’s sweet voice calling for me front he still open door on my side. “_____-ssi, turn car…on?”

“Oh!” I nodded and climbed into the driver’s seat pressed on the brake and held the engine start button and my car purred to life. I plugged in my phone and adjusted the volume so the music would be soft and told Jungkook he could put whatever on, when Bigbang started playing through the speakers, I skipped through a couple of songs until I came to an Ariana Grande song. I gave him a small smile and got back out of the car and the other boys in the backseat leaned forward to tell Jungkook what to play.

Jin smiled and said something in Korean that I didn’t understand and I blushed more as they all looked at me. “You know how to get there? Jin-hyung is asking,” Namjoon translated for me.

I nodded, “I go there all the time. It’s just down the street that way,” I pointed in the correct direction to emphasize my point.

Namjoon nodded, “can I come too?” Hoseok gave me a huge smile.

I nodded with a tight smile, “it might be tight,” I hedged. Hoseok didn’t seem to understand but when he looked in the rear window at how Taehyung and Jimin were commandeering most of the real estate, he sighed. And yelled at them through the window.

Jimin’s eyebrows were raised as he rolled down his window and said something in retaliation to his hyung. I smiled and giggled a little bit before turning back to Namjoon.

“I will follow your car?” I asked.

Namjoon nodded but then started shaking his hard and said “no, we will follow you.”

I nodded with sudden realization. I was driving 3 of the most famous people in the world. Of course, there was a worry that I would drive off and kidnap them. I wouldn’t ever dream of doing that, but I understood. With another nod and a command to drive safely from the hyungs, I got back into my car and settled into my seat.

I stopped short again as I reached for my seatbelt and looked into my back seat to see Jimin and Taehyung laughing about something so casual and relaxed. Like they belonged there in my car, in my life. To be fair they were part of my life. I followed their music and campaigns religiously. And consumed all the media they created, but what wasn’t normal was having the 3 super stars in my little Honda hatchback.

“Hi, ___-ah,” Jimin smiled leaning in forward.

“Hi Jimin-ie,” I giggled as a blush came over me.

“How old are you,” Jimin smiled warmly.

I giggled a little, “I’m 26.”

Taehyung and Jungkook laughed at this. “So, you’re our noona?” Jungkook confirmed. I nodded and did my best to ignore the growing flame in my stomach at the sound of Jungkook calling me noona.

There were gasps and laughs and clear teasing coming from the back seat and I couldn’t stop the smile that wanted to keep growing on my face. “Seatbelts,” I called while I clicked my own into place.

Beside me I saw Jungkook fasten his own belt and turned back to check that Taehyung and Jimin had secured their own. With a determined nod I said, “okay let’s go! BCD here we come!”

The boys joined in my cheer and I shifted into sports mode again and slowly pulled forward to wait for the hyungs to get behind us in their car.

Once the black SUV pulled up behind me, I pulled forward and settled into my seat talking as best as I could with the three men in my car. They asked silly questions like what is my favorite color and when I got my car. I answered their questions with the simplest answers that I could. I happily talked about my car telling them I bought it as a birthday present for myself.

We were only three lights away from the restaurant, what could we really talk about? Still somehow, we were all laughing and talking together. We didn’t catch the first light; we could have but I suddenly was preoccupied with making sure we made it in one piece. My anxiety was through the roof—would they tell their hyungs that I was a safe and responsible driver? While I contemplated this, Boys with fun started playing through the speakers and I turned up the volume by 1 and started singing along and dancing—somehow— forgetting that I had an audience.

Then the car was suddenly very quiet after I acted out along to Taehyung’s part in the song with J-Hope and I looked over to Jungkook with wide eyes and shock—had I really just done that? His mouth was hanging open in a teasing smile and his eyes were wide with wonder.

I gasped and said, “don’t laugh!!”

And after another beat of silence, all three erupted with laughter.

It was contagious, I couldn’t help but laugh too. The light we were stopped at changed to green and I made the left turn and quickly merged all the way to the right in preparation for the eventual right turn we would make.

The guys were all loud and laughing and making me forget the trauma that I just experienced. What would have happened if Jungkook hadn’t stepped in? I wouldn’t let myself dwell on it while I was with them. I would soak up all the love and positive energy that I could while I had them with me.

After two more lights, we were turning into the parking lot for BCD. I tried to get a close spot and parked in reverse so if we needed to leave quickly, it wouldn’t be an issue. Once I was parked, I grabbed my mask and tried to not think about the phrase printed on it. “Notice me Oppa”.

It was meant to be a cute thing to wear if I ended up with him but those plans didn’t exactly pan out and here I was shrugging on my over coat to ward off the cold. I couldn’t believe I was wearing this embarrassing mask in front of the 7 men that I looked up to most. I waited for the boys to get out of the car and then locked the doors with the press of the lock button in my handle. Jimin saw my mask and I saw it in his eyes. The teasing glint in his eyes as he regarded me. “Don’t say anything!” I giggled pointing up at him thankful the mask covered most of, what I was sure was, my red face.

“C’mon noona,” he teased lightly and the four of us made our way up to the entrance for BCD where the other members had already been ushered inside and to the back room.

When we entered the ajumma smiled and greeted us in English. Jungkook greeted her warmly in Korean and explained who we were. She nodded and called someone over to lead us into the back room. I had never been back here so I was excited to see a part of the restaurant I hadn’t before.

The hyungs and some managers were already seated and talking, ordering drinks and relaxing. When we came into the room, the guys called in greeting and I was stunned again with how handsome they all were. I was really here. Eating dinner with them. I couldn’t believe my luck.

I must have been standing for too long because Yoongi waved at me and called me over with his hand. I blinked and sauntered over and started to really question my mask choice as he leaned in to speak softly. “Hi ____-ah,” He pat on the empty seat beside him and I slowly lowered myself onto the chair after removing my coat.

I blushed and didn’t want to remove my mask because I knew I was so red underneath the blessed fabric. “Hi—Yoongi?” I hedged he nodded and blinked back at me.

“I am your oppa?” He smiled teasingly at me and pulled on my mask a little, I pulled away from him a little as my blush deepened further. I nodded and was reminded again of the flame that flared up in my belly again. Now was so not the time. “So?” He raised his eyebrows waiting for me. And then it clicked.

Was he in a power trip or something?? “H-hi Yoongi-oppa.” I winced, my voice sounded small, even to me.

He leaned in like I had seen him do at a concert I attended in 2016. At the concert he was waiting for the audience to scream for him and scream we did I reminisced on the screams and cries I had belted out for him. He was my bias at the time and I was hoping that he would be satisfied with how loud the stadium had gotten. Suddenly I was back in my seat, watching how he put a hand cupped around his ear and motioned for me to repeat it again just like that night.

By some miracle I found my voice again, pulled my mask down and spoke again. “Hi Yoongi-oppa.”

He seemed satisfied this time and leaned back in his chair to chime in on the conversation going on around us. A conversation I couldn’t really participate in since I couldn’t speak Korean and that I had completely lost due to a certain Min Yoongi distracting me. But it seemed that Jungkook was relaying to his hyungs about something that happened. I just sat silently and smiling just happy to be near them.

Namjoon seemed to notice my lack of understanding because he was leaning over explaining what was being said to me so I could feel included. I smiled and thanked him and then we started having our own conversation. I was worried that because he has such a big brain that I wouldn’t be able to have stimulating conversation for him, but he didn’t make me feel nervous or anything.

Eventually, a waiter came in with drinks and a soda was placed down in front of me. I thanked them all with nods and bows. And then a shot glass was placed in front of me. I gulped, a little nervous.

“You can drink, right?” Namjoon looked at me as he seemed to notice that I got nervous.

I smiled and gave a nervous laugh. “Yes I’m 26.” Though I didn’t voice that I get stupid when I’m drunk.

“Oh?” He smiled with interest. “I am too.”

I nodded, “yeah I know.” I blushed and hid my smile a little bit.

“When Is your birthday?” He asked.

Oh “February 21st.”

“That’s only a few days after J-Hope!” Hoseok looked over in interest at the mention of his name.

I smiled and nodded again stating again, “I know.”

When Namjoon said “you know” at the same time we both laughed together. Hoseok must have asked him what we were talking about because Namjoon was suddenly gesturing to me and Hoseok’s eyes got wide as he answered back.

He turned and looked at me and said “we have almost same birthday!”

I nodded along and smiled wider. “You’re older by a few days!”

He nodded and sat back in his seat suddenly energetic again. “Let’s be close since we are same age!”

I nodded and said, “okay.” Yoongi snorted beside me and I turned back to look at him and smile. “Neh, oppa?” I gasped suddenly and fished for my cellphone from my pocket and blushed when I felt Yoongi lean in closer to look at the purple screen and asked if I was okay.

I had made a mood-board of Jungkook my Lock Screen and had just finished customizing my Home Screen just the day before. I nodded to Yoongi in answer and pulled up messages on my phone and text my mom that I was safe and with my friends so she wouldn’t worry me and apologized for not texting sooner. Not even a minute later, she replied back thanking me for letting her know.

I smiled and let out a little sigh of relief. Yoongi had to have still been watching me because suddenly, his finger was tapping against my phone and looking at the settings I had in place. He scrolled through the photos I had cycling on screen and stopped at an edit of him from Boy with Luv. He pointed at the screen and then back at himself, that’s me.

I nodded. “You were my first bias,” I giggled.

“Who is now?” I blushed and locked the screen and illuminated it for him to see Jungkook’s face smiling up at him. Namjoon seemed to catch on our conversation at this point.

“You mean it’s not me?” He played it like he was offended and I hurriedly tried to explain.

“I love all of you. You’re all my bias and my wreckers at the same time. You’re all so talented and you’re so smart.” I suddenly realized that I was gushing about them to him and clammed up a little feeling self-conscious.

Yoongi seemed to notice and gently pat on my arm trying to be reassuring. I gave him a small smile and he said something in Korean and Namjoon translated for me. I suddenly remembered about the iOS update that happened to put a translator on my phone.

I hurriedly unlocked my phone but Facial recognition didn’t seem to work so I typed in my code. And pulled up the translator. I spoke into it, “maybe we can understand each other now.” And pressed play on the Korean side of it.

The little voice that played back made Yoongi’s eyes light up in wonder as he nodded back.

He then got his own phone out and found the translator and spoke what he said “okay, I think this can work.”

I smiled triumphantly and told Namjoon I didn’t want him to have to translate everything for me. He smiled and then relaxed back in his seat revealing Jungkook to his left. I smiled and turned back to Yoongi asking him about how he was doing. Why they were even in California.

Yoongi answered and we went back and forth like this a few times. And then a waitress stopped between us to ask for our order. Yoongi motioned for me to go first. I ordered the kalbi combo with mild spice on my tofu soup.

Yoongi snorted out a laugh again and I gasped at him waiting for him to finish ordering after me to ask him what was so funny. He explained that he laughed at how I ordered not spicy soup.

I rolled my eyes and laughed more. “I get sick if I have too much spicy food.”

He nodded and suddenly concern clouded his eyes asking if I was okay eating here.

I smiled and assured him that I’d been craving to eat here for a while now. I told him that I wanted to at least pay for my meal when I suddenly remembered that isn’t how Koreans gather. I apologized and bowed my head that I forgot.

Namjoon’s ears pricked up at my comment. “What do you mean you forgot; did you live in Korea?”

I shook my head and spoke into the translator as I answered so Yoongi wouldn’t feel left out. “I wanted to move to South Korea so I learned about the culture over there. And I learned when you go out one person pays for everybody and you take turns.”

Namjoon nodded and confirmed and Yoongi asked. “Is that not how it is here?”

I shook my head no. “Everyone pays for themselves when you go out with a group. Or if one person pays, you pay your part to that person.”

Yoongi’s jaw dropped in shock and Namjoon just nodded along. Soon after sides were laid in front of us and I looked at the fish placed in front of me. And Yoongi turned his attention to the others I was deep in thought as I watched them all dancing around and joking with each other. I wished this time together could last forever.

A wistful sigh left my lips as I had my phone facing up on the table in front of me when my phone lit up with a message from my crush.

[21:37] from tall boi: wanna meet up?

I sighed and rolled my eyes, the disappointment rolling off of me in waves seemed to alert the others.

“Yah. ____-ah!” It was Hoseok. “Why you are sad?”

“Oh,” I smiled at him. “This guy wants me to meet up with him.”

“Is he your boyfriend?” Hoseok laughed.

I giggled more and shook my head no. “He’s not. Just a guy that wants to mess around.”

Namjoon blushed at that when Hoseok looked confused at my answer. I guess Namjoon explained what I said because Yoongi was suddenly upset and talking into his phone when it sounded out. “That guy sounds like an asshole block his number!”

I laughed. Actually laughed, and nodded as I opened the text and didn’t answer leaving it on read.

Jin suddenly looked over at me, “we make him jealous!”

I shook my head no. “We don’t have to do that.”

Hoseok was suddenly into it with how shy I had gotten. “Yes! Let’s do it!”

The rest of the group cheered and Jimin snatched up my phone from across the table and snapped a photo of me sitting between Yoongi and Namjoon. The two men leaned into me and put their arms around me.

I giggled and blushed even more and Taehyung hopped up from beside Jungkook and came to stand behind us, leaning down. Jin shot up out of his chair on the other side of us and shouted. “You need Jin, worldwide handsome!” And made his way over too.

I couldn’t stop laughing and Jimin kept taking photos capturing every moment. Hoseok suddenly called out to the one of the staff and asked for them to take our photo together. He was gesturing to us and the staff member nodded and took my phone from Jimin.

Suddenly I was stood up, Yoongi and Namjoon pushed our three chairs together and sat me down on their lap. Jungkook got closer, and Taehyung sat to Yoongi’s right. The three other men gathered behind us and posed. I don’t know how I didn’t notice, but they were each holding onto me somehow. I couldn’t help the smiles and the laughs that escaped me. I was actually happy.

The staff member handed my phone to me and I thanked him profusely bowing many times.

The next thing I knew, our food was coming out and our spots were rearranged so I was sitting between Jin and Jimin on the other side of the table now. Yoongi glared in our direction and Jimin childishly taunted him.

I’m watching you! It looked like Yoongi warned Jimin who bowed his head and closed his eyes with a 10000-watt smile as we sat. Finally, someone said let’s eat and we all dug into our meals. Everyone grabbed from whatever plate they wanted and ate together.

“What is your favorite BTS song?” Jimin asked me suddenly, pulling me from watching the others laugh and joke while they ate.

I laughed lightly and answered honestly. “All of them. But the first song I ever heard was Haruman.”

Jimin seemed to think back on it fondly.

“Who is your favorite?” Jin asked me.

I smiled and showed him my phone screen.

“Yah! Not worldwide handsome Jin?!” he screeched incredulously.

I smiled and giggled at his dramatics I could tell he was joking but it still made me laugh. “Oppa~~ don’t be like that.”

He’s eyes sparkled at my tone and he then continued to eat his food and joke with the other guys. And I looked on fondly.

“Jungkook is really your favorite?” Jimin asked me.

I smiled and blushed nodding and bumped my shoulder with his as I explained that they were all my favorite at one point. I just had a soft spot for the youngest of the group. Jungkook turned at the sound of his name, his eyebrows raised in question passing over me and then turning to Jimin.

“Hyung?” He called in his melodic voice.

I couldn’t get over hearing them without a filter of some sort. Be it a screen or a microphone from a concert. A girl could get used to this. Jimin spoke quickly to the maknae and the way his eyes gleamed with pride as he then smiled at me told me everything I needed to know about the exchange. He knew that he is my bias and there was so hiding it now.

I blanched a little under his intense gaze and looked down at my plate blushing when Jimin saw this he took the opportunity to tease me. Bringing it to the attention of everyone at the table. I would have been mortified but I didn’t really care. I was again just so happy to be around then to hear them. I was rubbing elbows with Mr. Worldwide Handsome over here!

Maybe I was getting overwhelmed again, but I felt a tear escape my eyes and Jin seemed to calm down and pat my back trying to comfort me.

“Are you okay?” Jimin asked from my left I turned to him and I started sobbing. The guys all sprang up from their seats and tried to reassure me. I nodded and grabbed a napkin trying to dab away my tears. I had worked so hard to make my make up perfect tonight. I wasn’t going to ruin it I cursed myself internally. I curled up into myself as I tried to calm myself, patting on my shoulders in a soothing motion.

Then Jungkook was knelt in front of me. “Can I hug you?” Was falling to my ears.

I nodded and said, “yes please.” Then. I felt the world come to a standstill. I was overcome with his scent and the strength of his arms. I don’t even know why I was still crying. I hid my face in his chest and he suddenly lifted me up into his arms to move back to his seat and keep me in his lap. Jungkook kept a hand on my thigh and kept eating and offered me bites of food here and there.

After a few minutes, I calmed down enough and moved to get up off his lap. He wrapped an arm around my waist and held me in place. My chopsticks were passed over to me and I ate happily from my new seat.

“Tell me if I’m too heavy,” I told him while trying to lessen my weight on his leg. He blinked back at me in confusion so Namjoon translated since my phone was still at the other side of the table.

Jungkook smiled and puffed his chest. “I’m Strong. I can hold you noona.”

I giggled and went back to eating happily. As we all sat and ate Jungkook’s hold on me loosened but he still kept a hand on my thigh.

As we ate, the boys ordered booze and shots. Jin wanted me to drink for him so I had initially tried to deny but then I found myself with my hand on my elbow like I had learned and turned my face away to drink the shot. I had turned in Hoseok’s direction and he pretended to be offended making the guys all start laughing.

I couldn’t stop laughing with them. The next thing I knew, we were tumbling out into the cool air and it was late. Too late.

“We’re going to go keep the party going, if you want to come?” Namjoon asked as Jungkook kept a firm hold on my waist from my left. I smiled and nodded before I looked at my phone and saw the time. 11:35 and several texts from my mom asking if I was alright.

I told my mom I was okay just caught up in eating with my friends and looked up at them sadly. Well. I don’t really want to leave.

Taehyung and Jimin cheered and grabbed me into their arms and I felt the loss of Jungkook’s arm around me. And we all cheered so ready for the party to continue. Namjoon smiled and said that he’d be coming in the car with me this time. Yoongi agreed and Jimin and Taehyung pouted.

“Noona~” they pleaded I didn’t understand the rest of what they said because it was all in mostly drunk Korean.

I giggled and shook my head not understanding. Jungkook was once again pulling me into his side and I looked up at him smiling.

“You let me come, right?” Jungkook’s eyes were shining like stars.

I nodded and Taehyung and Jimin groaned. I looked back at them confused and Taehyung tried to explain. “I come too?”

I nodded, “if you want to squish between your hyungs.” Taehyung cheered and Jimin looked offended.

I giggled at their show of annoyance with each other. “Where are we going?” I asked Namjoon.

“To our hotel?” He answered.

I nodded, “okay. Let’s go!” Jungkook crowed into the night air and I joined him along with Taehyung. We raced back to the cars, Jungkook got shotgun again and we climbed into my car. I felt the purr of the engine coming alive again and smiled to myself. Or so I thought.

“You really like your car,” Yoongi gave me a gummy smile.

I nodded and looked back at him through the rear view while we waited for the younger boys to climb into the black SUV. I had the biggest smile on my face and reconnected my phone to the USB-port. A Spanish Selena song Tu Solo Tu started played and I mumbled an apology when Yoongi said to leave it on.

Maybe it was the little alcohol in my system, but I started belting out with the song, just singing my heart out as though I didn’t have an audience. Once the song changed the younger boys were ready and motioned for me to follow. I nodded and shifted into sport again, following after.

After I sang a bit more and the boys joined in, Namjoon spoke up. “Your singing is really pretty.”

I blushed and said no but he insisted so I finally let him have it. “Can I record your voice?”

I knew it was Yoongi and for some reason it made my heart flutter. So, I answered with a question of my own. “Are you serious?”

I looked back at him briefly and saw him nod in response and if I thought my face was going to break in half before, that was nothing compared to this. I nodded and enthusiastically said yes. “I would love that.”

He hummed quietly and Jungkook brought my attention back to the road when he started asking me questions about how long I’ve been in California and if I was ever going to go to South Korea.

“I’ll make it there some day,” I told him. “Maybe not for a while; I can’t speak much Korean. I want to be able to speak more.”

“What can you say?”

I laughed and said “hi my name is ____. Or I’m ____.” I thought a little harder. “Where is it?” I couldn’t stop the bubbling laughter. “I took a class years ago but I didn’t have anyone to practice with so I lost most of it.”

“We can help you practice,” Namjoon smiled warmly from the back seat.

I shook my head. “You’re already busy enough, you don’t need me wasting your time too.”

“Will you help me with English?” Jungkook queried softly from my right.

When I looked over at him, I stilled. He was looking at me from under his lashes turning the cuteness to 5 trillion. I nodded. “Of course, I would help you!”

“So, we help you too,” Yoongi smiled.

I blushed and continued to follow after the younger boys and finally after a half hour drive of singing and laughing with the guys, we were pulling off the freeway and towards their hotel. Once we finally arrived, we parked and made our way inside. Yoongi took the lead and Jungkook jumped around annoying his hyungs and making me laugh.

Namjoon and I were laughing talking about their plans while in California. I gushed about local beaches and then remembered they probably wouldn’t be able to go, first because the weather was getting colder, and two they’re celebrities.

Namjoon smiled in understanding helping me not feel bad for my inconsiderate answer. I’d had my hands up and was talking animatedly about how I haven’t really been around people because of social distancing and my frustration about my cousin still having a perfectly normal time right now.

I then paled considerably. “I hope I don’t get you guys sick.”

Yoongi had just stopped to enter a keycard into a door as I said this and he shook his head. And Namjoon looked down at me with a soft smile, “you won’t. It’s okay.”

Namjoon ushered me into the hotel room after Yoongi and Jungkook and we were greeted with the cheers of our arrival from the others.

“You made it!” Jimin and Taehyung shot up and wrapped their arms around me, tugging me around. I laughed and told them to please put me down.

Yoongi yelled out something in Korean as he was rifling through some bags. My name was somewhere in the mix there so I looked over to him. Jimin and Taehyung groaned out in response.

“Yah hyung,” and then they grumbled on before letting me go. Yoongi called me over and I dropped my bag on a chair and shrugged off my coat.

“We record?” He flashed me a gummy smile and I perked up instantly.

Hoseok groaned at the sound of Yoongi’s words but then was slightly interested once Namjoon explained Yoongi wanted to record me. “___-ah come get a drink!” Hoseok called before I made it to Yoongi.

Yoongi growled out some sort of response with a scowl and so I promised Hoseok. “After, I will.”

Yoongi was typing away and I sat beside him watching as he fiddled with settings. “Okay.” He grabbed his phone and was searching something up.

“I’m nervous,” I laughed. “What should I sing for you?”

“The same song?” He answered with a furrowed brow.

“Oh, from the car?” I asked my eyebrows raised in question. He nodded and I pulled up the lyrics on my phone to make sure I would sing it correctly.

I cleared my voice a little and then started singing, careful to make sure I put as much effort into the quality of the sound and making sure the pitch was right too. I sang through the whole song once doing my best to not notice the way the others slowly stopped having conversations to listen to me singing. I made the mistake of looking up from my phone at one point and met eyes with Jungkook and nearly stopped singing.

I looked over at Yoongi sitting beside me and his eyes were already trained on me so intently I started blushing and nearly fumbled the last few words of the song.

Namjoon came over and started asking about the song and about what it meant. I explained it’s about lovers and the woman singing about how she’s getting drunk and can’t get over the person.

After a while longer, we were all singing and dancing together. I sat down after a while and lazily sipped at the beer that they had given me. I started feeling myself get tired. Once I let my body relax, I grabbed my phone off the coffee table and gasped at the time. It was 3 AM.

“Holy shit,” I laughed. Namjoon plopped down next to me and asked what happened. I showed him the time and he was equally surprised.

Yoongi sat to my left and had his eyebrows raised in question. I showed him the time and explained, “It’s late. I should probably go home.”

“No~,” I heard the drawn-out call at my words from Jin as he sat on the chair beside the sofa I was resting on.

“Jin hyung, you’re drunk,” Taehyung laughed at the oldest member.

Jungkook tumbled over to where we sat and landed at my feet, laying his head in my lap. Maybe it’s because I was drunk or because I knew I would have to leave them, whatever it was had me reaching out to touch him. It made me card my fingers through his pillowy soft hair and run my hands across his shoulders giving him a light massage.

He hummed and I could feel it through his back and I marveled at him and the way he was built so strong. It made me miss his strong arms around my waist like they were only hours before. Jungkook relaxed into my touch and leaned his back against my knees. I hummed quietly and eventually got too tired. I pat on his shoulder affectionately and gave him a brief squeeze before sitting back all the way in my spot and resting my head against the back of the sofa.

“You’re tired,” Yoongi commented.

“Neh oppa,” I smiled up at him.

“Stay here and rest,” Jungkook said.

I shook my head, “I should go home.”

“You’ve been drinking,” Taehyung pointed out remembering my earlier comment of not wanting to drink and drive.

I frowned. I had been drinking and quite a lot of the bottles laying around were anything to go by. I hummed in response, not able to add much to the conversation.

“Stay,” came Jungkook’s dulcet tones again.

Yoongi put an arm around my shoulders and pulled me in close. Jimin sauntered over and sat down beside Jungkook leaning against him on the floor.

“No one wants to cuddle with me?!” Jin screeched clearly joking but still trying to get someone to going join him. Namjoon let out a heavy sigh and went to sit in Jin’s lap. I chuckled softly and watched as they all talked with each other. Hoseok finally flopped down onto the mattress and scrolled through his phone.

I blinked and tried to hold back a yawn while Yoongi got comfortable in his spot and Taehyung sat beside us. “Are you staying noona?” I heard someone call as my eyelids were harder and harder to keep open. Yoongi had started humming a soft tune. I vaguely recognized it as Seesaw and hummed in response again.

Hoseok was up again because I heard him walking around. Someone removed the beer bottle that was in my hand and then I was being lifted up. I opened my eyes briefly as much as I could and heard Jin say something in Korean. I was too tired to really ask, Namjoon called out to whoever was carrying me and I heard a chest rumble in response.

The soft quality reminded me of Jungkook but I wasn’t sure. I blinked up blearily at the person holding me and was met with Jungkook’s sharp jawline. I sighed and snuggled closer into him; I briefly noticed his grip tightening on me slightly.

“Just rest noona,” he hummed the smell of his breath and alcohol washed over me. Jin called back for Jungkook from down the hallway. I also heard Yoongi too but couldn’t be bothered to really try to pay attention.

When I finally managed to open my eyes again, I was looking at Taehyung’s back as he opened the door to another room. I tried my best to ask in Korean, “Where are we?”

Jungkook and Taehyung both cooed at me seemingly praising me based on their tone. I hummed happily once I was deposited onto a cool and soft surface. Someone removed my shoes. I felt hands on my waist and the zipper for my pants coming down.

“What are you doing?” I huffed in annoyance.

I didn’t hear a response. Just felt my pants being pulled down and quickly a silky soft material was being pushed up my legs. I forced my eyes open and laughed when I saw Jungkook and Taehyung trying to get a pair of basketball shorts on me. I helped them and raised my hips. I heard them huff a “thank you noona” in Korean.

I heard fabric rustling and sighs and they were chatting about the day. I couldn’t quite catch everything. I briefly heard my phone going off in the background and one of them handed my phone to me. I opened my eyes and saw it was a text from my mom.

[4:02 AM] from Mom: are you coming home?

I answered back. [4:05 AM] to Mom: nope still out with my friends. I’m not coming home tonight.

Her response was immediate. [4:05 AM] OK you need to stay safe.

I sighed and turned off my phone. And flung it to the end of the bed. I heard laughs and snickers in response to my attitude. I grumbled out, “Kookie~”

“Neh, noona.”

I heard the smile in his laugh. “Cuddles…” I racked my brain, trying to remember the phrase in Korean, “hold me tight.”

I heard Taehyung right behind me then. His chuckle was right in my ear as he cooed at me for speaking Korean again. I shivered and settled under the covers comfortably as he had pulled them back. Finally, Jungkook came into bed too and I sighed happily when he pulled me to rest on his chest.

Taehyung draped himself across my back and held onto my waist. I fell asleep quickly after that, praying that the last 12 hours had not been a dream.

A/N: This probably won’t have a second part-- hence calling it a one shot. anywho;; I’m safe, nothing eneded up happening that night because a higher power was looking out for me that night-- so enjoy this crack piece and talk to me or something or i’ll just go off into the void and not do anything else but edit the next chapter in Music of the Night.. so i’m off to do that!

Master L i s t | Request

#bts #btsxreader #bts x reader #ot7 x reader #ot7xreader #oneshot #one shot #kim taehyung #kim namjoon #kim seokjin #park jimin #jung hoseok #min yoongi #jeon jungkook

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aspecpplarebeautiful · 3 years ago

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Bro. I have dug myself such a terrible grave. Why me. Why meeeeeeeee. Why must I be stupid. Help. I have to climb into the grave tomorrow or just Wait Anxiously and I’m Not Having Fun. This is like a really terrible fake dating au hhhfhdhdhdhdh. So like. My zucchini beloved and I are obvs in a qpr. They’re allo and their feelings towards me are romo, and mine are platonic. I’ve never been one much for partnering but I love and trust them more than anything so it all seems p okay and coolio to me, yknow? And they know that, we’ve talked about it and all. Besides the point. So, shorthand is that we’re basically dating ig, as that’s what they say in order to not out me and give a vocabulary lesson every time we tell someone. The Bad part is No One Knows About Aro People And Qprs. HELP,,,, no one else in my life knows I’m aro besides my sister and I’m not ready to come out 😭😭😭 my zucchini’s mom is a bit Very Stressful (aka abusive but that is. Another story) and has always been strict on them. They told me that they wouldn’t say anything, but if they got directly asked, they wouldn’t be able to lie, and I can’t really blame them for that. Lying can be hard, esp about something meaningful, and towards your mom, and abuser. So I ain’t mad just slightly ahhHhHHh you feel me? Bcus their mom DID get sus and asked, so like they confirmed it, but didn’t say it was a qpr or that I was aro bcus No. so their mom knows, but the thing is, my mom doesn’t. She thinks my zucchini is my strictly best friend, and while they are that to me, since qpr fits best, we use that, and yknow, allos gonna be allos and will assume (amatonormative) things. But I’m not ready to come out to my mom. I’m not ready for her to know I’m aro. I’m not ready for anyone else to know I’m aro. It feels way too personal. I know they won’t understand qprs anyway, so I don’t know how I would even begin to try and make at least my mom treat it seriously. My romance repulsion will def be Really Bad if they think my feelings are romantic, but again, I don’t know how to tell them it isn’t. Ik allos can be in qprs, so I could just lie about that, but still. It’s like. Personal?? Ig?? It’s my life, and I’ve always been a private person, and I hate when people make assumptions about my relationships. And again. I don’t think my mom will understand qprs, or even be that open to the concept. I brought it up a bit once, saying something about like a platonic marriage and she went off about how that Wasn’t How That Worked and all, so I just. :(((( Thing is, I’ve dug my grave bcus my zucchini and I are both still minors that can’t drive and live with their parents, and also we live in different states. But I’m going to visit them tomorrow!! And it’ll be really nice!! I can sit through their family’s assumptions and teasing bcus they’ll be there and I won’t have to endure it all the time, nor will it hit as hard. So like. I’m more ready for that. But ofc if we ever have a sleepover, since ppl that date or whatever can’t sleep in the same room apparently even though we’re the same sex so what but I get it bcus yeah kids and Allos,,,, so their mom might mention the whole Dating Thing to mine, and she’ll be all “why didn’t u tell meee” and make everything romo-y. But idk how to tell her by myself without having a whole anxiety attack because I’d be presenting it as romantic. And I don’t wanna ruin seeing my zucchini for the first time in so long. Idk I’m just kinda stressed. I’ll prolly wait it out until I’m forced to say something and then decide what to do at the last minute, but yeah. Idk what this ask quite is but I just. Hndbdhdhhdhshdhhsh :(((

If you're comfortable with it, you could try something like saying the relationship doesn't currently have labels or it's currently undefined. Some allo people will understand that when they don't understand a QPR and it falls under being true.

This would be a bit more of a lie, but if you say something along the lines of you're still working it out and haven't decided at this time if the relationship is romantic or platonic she might accept that too.

You could even say your QPR feels more romantic and you feel more platonic and you're sorting it out and don't worry you've talked about it and are on the same page.

This is all language allo people will understand better. And it skirts on the truth of the actual relationship without you actually having to come out. Lots of alloromantic people have complicated relationships or feel differently about each other, so being clear that this is part of what's going on with you doesn't necessarily mean you're aro. It just means the current relationship you have with QPR is complicated.

This is actually honestly a shitty situation, and sometimes that happens and it's OK to recognize it as that. And sometimes there aren't really any great solutions, but hopefully between the above suggestions, coming out or pretending to be romo, you can at least pick the path you're the least uncomfortable with or think you can manage the most. Go with what feels right for you, and do your best.

And it's up to you if you want to deal with it head-on or wait for your mom to bring it up. But it will probably help whichever you choose to have at least a bit of a plan on how to handle it. And maybe talk to your QPR about it too in case you need them on the same page.

All the best, Anon! I really hope things work out.

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hunnyuwu · 4 years ago

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Royal Flour || NCT Jeno

Premise: Y/N is the child of a local baker in a small village within the kingdom's vast circle. While everyone in town is in love with Y/N, the poor child seems to never take notice, committing all of their time to her time to perfecting father's meticulous craft. What happens when the kingdom’s prince first lays his eyes on her?

Pairing: fem! reader x prince! Jeno

WC: 3.5k

Warning: this will be extremely cliche and cringe hehe

__________________________

Y/N hummed to the soft tune that danced into her father's bakery through the open windows. The local string instrument genius was out again like usual, and Y/N was so grateful for the boy who constantly practices out in the courtyard by her house. It gave her so much pleasure to listen to the beautiful tune as she rolled out her millionth dough in her lifetime. Even if it is repetitious, Y/N never saw baking as a chore, the love her father had for it really did transfer straight to her.

"Ah, good morning, Y/N!" Y/N looked up from her pin roller, a gentle smile climbing to her lips.

"Hey, Luna! The usual?"

The girl younger than Y/N by a few years nodded frantically, excited for the steaming, fluffy bread. No one's bread could compete with her father's bakery.

"How has your father been, Y/N?" Luna hummed, looking around the nearly empty shop. It was only the crack of dawn, so it made sense.

"He's recovering, I believe he will be back soon!" Y/N chirped, packaging up five loaves and a few pastries into a large canvas carrier. While Luna used to only get one loaf per two days, the girl now was a daily customer, heaving a whopping five loaves away every day. As a special thanks, Y/N always slipped in extras for Luna, the cute girl had a special place in Y/N's heart.

"That's great to hear. Tell him to get well soon for me, okay!" Luna gave Y/N a sweet look, gratefully accepting the large bag from Y/N.

"Are you sure you will be able to carry those all by yourself, Luna? I can ask a friend to help you. I'd come myself, but I can't leave my father's shop unattended."

Luna waved Y/N's concern off, "Stop worrying, Y/N. I'm capable of this much. I'm off!"

Luna set off to the door, but a question flooded Y/N's mind, "Luna!"

Luna's curly hair spun around, letting the petite girl look back to Y/N.

"I'm just kind of curious. I know all those loaves aren't for your family. Do you give them to someone else?" Y/N was always curious about Luna, she was a complete mystery to her.

Luna winked, "I do give them to someone else. Anyways, I'm late so I really gotta go, see you soon, Y/N!" She gave one last wave before leaving through the large wooden door.

~ ~ ~

Y/N stood over a small stone marking. Nothing within her mind. She set down some flowers, remembering an important person in her life.

"Ah, I see that you're here too." Y/N turned around, not expecting this voice.

"Father? You're not supposed to be out of the infirmary!" The girl chastised, quickly running over to the man who limped her way.

"Ah, you're no fun, Y/N. Besides, those ladies are always so stuck up and nosy. I needed to escape even for a little bit. You have to admit, this is a good reason." Y/N softened, today was her mother's official 20th year passed away. The two always made a point of visiting her mother at least once a year on this day.

Y/N supported her father to her mother's grave, his dear wife's grave. Y/N always felt so bad, her mother passed away while she was in labor with her. The doctors and nurses simply couldn't do anything for her. She only hung on long enough to make sure that her baby was alive and sat before she tragically drew her last breath. A tear flooded into Y/N's eye, it was her fault that such a lovely woman passed away.

"Come on, Y/N. I know exactly what you're thinking right now. The last thing your mother would want you to do is believe that it was all your fault, that you were a mistake. It was a risk that your mother was willing to take, you have no idea how much she loved and cared for you when you were in her belly. Want to know something that she told me, right after she was told that she could either save herself or her baby?" Y/N was silent, tears slowly streaming down her face. She solemnly stared at the tiny stone, the only marking remembering her beautiful mother.

"Yes."

"She told me that you were her greatest accomplishment in life. You were the masterpiece in her life, the only regret your mother had was not being able to see you grow up into the fine woman you have become. You bet your persistent mom is surely watching you from above, smiling and guiding you, just in another form."

Y/N, not able to form a word, simply wrapped her arms around her father. She didn't deserve such amazing parents, even if one wasn't there for her life. She knew her mother was always looking over her.

"Let's get out of here, hm? Mom must be happy that we visited her, but she would be even happier if the two of us stayed safe and happy, right?"

Y/N smiled up at her father's sweet look, "Of course, father. I'll take you back to the infirmary."

Y/N's father grumbled sassily, saying something about those rotten nurses, which Y/N's quickly laughed at.

"They're there to help you, father. Not make your life miserable."

"Says the one who doesn't have to deal with those nagging ladies all day."

(Hmm, why are my eyes sweating?)

~~~

"Breakfast really is the best meal of the day." A male sighed, eating his usual. One hard-boiled egg, a glass of orange juice, and two slices of bread with strawberry jam. He gave a satisfied look to the two ladies in the corner of the room.

"You know, the bread has been amazing lately. Was there a change in the royal baker?" The Prince asked, the two ladies shifted uncomfortably, looking at one another for help. The prince shot a look at the two, weirded out by their odd behavior.

"Yoona, I would also like to know about the baker." The King said, voicing out his son's thoughts.

"U-Uh, well, I don't know the baker personally, may I go figure out for you, your majesty?" Yoona curtseyed to the King quickly rushing out of the room, leaving behind the other maid.

Yoona busted into the kitchen, panic written all over her form.

"WE HAVE A PROBLEM." Yoona screamed, bringing the whole cooking staff to a halt, alarmed by Yoona's exclamation.

"What's wrong, Yoona?" A cute looking girl walked over to the older girl, waiting for her response.

"Who's that baker you always buy from?"

Luna's eyebrows shot up, not expecting this, "From a father, now his daughter, that sell bread in the middle of my village. Her bread is the best, right? I bet the royals love it!" Luna gave Yoona a thumbs up, clearly excited. Yoona, on the other hand was a lot less impressed.

"Yeah, they love it. A little too much I dare say. They want to know who the royal baker is!" Yoona exclaimed once again, leaving everyone a little more nervous than before.

"Huh, yeah we don't have one of those." Luna said, rubbing her chin with her fingers. Yoona desperately wanted to slap her forehead at the girl's innocence.

"Yeah, no duh. What do we do?" Yoona hissed. Another cook came forward, being the head of the staff.

"Well, we have two options. We either tell the truth that we have just been buying from a village baker for a little while, or we fake it till we make it."

"So, it's either that we piss them off now, or we piss them off later..."

Yoona, Luna, and the head cook all looked at one another, making a clear decision. Luna sighed, "Huhh, fine. I'll come clean..."

~~~

It was now later in the day and Luna was nervously twiddling her fingers behind her back. She looked down at her maid's uniform, waiting for her demise.

"Luna, I don't remember you being a baker?" The Queen remarked, hearing that Luna came to announce the arrival of the royal baker.

Luna hummed, ready to make the big reveal, "Well, your Majesties, there is actually not currently a royal baker." Silence effectively ensued. The King and Queen that were both sitting on their thrones were utterly confused.

"And how could that be, Luna? Who supplies that bakery items then?" The King said gently. Luna sighed.

"I've been buying from a small baker from my home village. It's the Heights District your majesties."

"Why didn't you just hire that baker, Luna? It's much easier than buying from this baker every day?"

The king and queen were taking this a lot better than Luna expected. She didn't want to even think about trying to persuade Y/N from leaving her father's bakery for the royal's kitchen. That task is virtually impossible, and that was Luna's specialty.

"Ah, well the bakers consist of only a father, who is currently in the hospital with a leg injury, and a daughter who has taken over. So-"

"How lovely! We can pay a lot more for her services here I bet. Miss Luna, please convince this amazing baker to come work for us!" The queen gleamed, Luna deadpanned inwardly. The queen was always... a bit of a ditz.

"She will be a bit hard to convince, though, you're majesties."

"Hmm, then bring my son. He is a very good persuader as you know. Now, run along. Hopefully I have good news by tomorrow." The king gave her a look, basically saying that this decision was final. Luna bit her bottom lip, but nodded nonetheless, waltzing out of the room.

She ran down the hallways, out to the expansive pastures behind the royal's castle.

"Your Highness!" Luna yelled, flailing her arms around like a mad man.

The prince, who was on horseback with his companion, quickly trotted over to the small girl, slightly frightening her.

"Is something wrong, Luna?" The prince questioned the girl who seemed like a little ant compared to him on horseback.

"Your parents ordered for me to take to you to my village to hire a baker."

The princes eyebrows raised, why was this his job to complete with a maid?

"It's a hopeless task for me. Your parents said to bring you along to maybe make the baker a part of the royal staff."

The prince sighed, the baker did bake some hella good bread. While he had a lot of questions, he shoved them down for now, trotting back over to his partner from before.

"Princess Mina, I have to depart early today. Sorry for the sudden interruption."

"But Prince-"

"Sorry." He said louder, stopping the princess who yaps like a chihuahua before she could even start. How could his parents even make him attempt to love this... desperate creature.

He quickly departed with Luna as soon as he could.

~~~

"Would you like to take the carriage your-"

"Let's walk, Luna. And besides, how many times do I have to tell you to address me by my name when we are in private?" The prince questioned with a playful smirk as the two finally set out on foot.

"But-"

"Luna." The prince growled.

"Fine... Jeno..."

The crowned prince, Jeno, gave her a fluffy smile, ruffling his hand through her hair. The two were close from a young age, but they also had to hide their close friendship from a young age as well. Once upon a time, Jeno had a large crush on the girl, but she viciously rejected it, saying that she only saw him as an older brother. While he thought he could win her over, he quickly gave in to her wishes as she was quite the stubborn girl.

"So, tell me about this baker, Luna."

Luna smirked, knowing how Jeno would react when he met the girl.

"Mmm, I'm not going to tell you." She said, causing Jeno to give her a deadly glare.

"You know who you're talking to, right?"

Luna shrugged, giving the boy an innocent look, "I thought you said we were friends when we were in private?"

Jeno quietly huffed, looking away, "Fair enough."

The two talked for their decently long journey, about this or that, about their childhood, anything.

"Man, you walk a long journey every day... Why don't you just live in the headquarters?" Jeno asked as they entered Luna's village.

"Ever heard of having a family?" She said, sarcasm dripping from her tone. Jeno rolled his eyes, "Hmm, okay then."

Luna saw Y/N's bakery sign up ahead, it's go time.

"Alright, we are here, Prince."

"I thought I told you-"

Luna ignored him, swinging the bakery's door open, the smell of bread smacking the prince in the face.

"Hello, Y/N! Are you here?" Luna called out as Jeno stepped into the small, but cozy shop behind the girl. He looked around, kind of confused why Luna called out a girl's name. He thought that the baker was supposed to be an older man, according to Luna at least.

"Ah, hello, Luna! You're never here around this time!" A beautiful voice called out, a youthful girl came out of nowhere, surprising Jeno.

Wow...

She's absolutely gorgeous...

Jeno's jaw dropped as he saw the girl fiddle around quickly with some equipment, taking pastries and bread out of a stone oven. Luna smirked, she knew this would happen. Y/N wasn't the village sweetheart for nothing.

Y/N finally turned around, swipping her hands over her floury apron. Her eyes widened when she saw the male standing next to Luna.

"You never told me that you had a boyfriend!" Y/N said joyfully, going on about how Luna was such a mystery. Jeno was so taken aback by her sheer beauty that he couldn't even say anything at the moment.

"Nice to meet you! I'm Y/N, the daughter of the baker who owns this place. He's currently unable to work, so I've been handling the place." Y/N offered her hand for a handshake, completely oblivious as to who Jeno was.

Luna paled as Jeno simply looked down at the baker's outstretched hand.

"A-Ah! No, Y/N!" Luna yanked the confused girl's hand away, giving a nervous glance toward Jeno.

"Well, we have come to explain something to you."

Y/N tilted her head, but complied.

"I just pulled out a batch of pastries, so why don't you two sit down for a little?"

Y/N brought the two to a small wooden table among the few that they had there. There really wasn't enough space...

Jeno gave Luna a glare immediately after Y/N left.

"You didn't plan on telling me that the baker was a girl my age?" He hissed, keeping his eyes on Y/N to make sure that she wasn't close.

Luna smirked, sipping on the water that Y/N provided to the both of them, "What's the big deal? I thought you were courting Princess Mina right now?" Luna smiled, knowing she was getting on the boys nerves. He was about to retort when some pastries were set in front of the two.

The both looked up to see Y/N standing, staring at the two, probably waiting from them to start.

"Aren't you going to sit with us, Y/N?" Luna said, her features scrunching up.

"No, you two are my honorary customers, so I couldn't possibly sit with you."

Jeno's eyes widened, Luna nor Jeno brought money with them. He heard Y/N chuckle.

"You two aren't paying today, it's on me."

Jeno's heart melted, everything about her...

"Ahem." Luna interjected between Jeno and Y/N's little staring contest.

"So, first of all, bring a darn seat to sit in, Y/N." Luna said with full authority. Y/N sighed, giving in.

"I've noticed that you have been wondering what I do, right Y/N?"

Y/N nodded, full of enthusiasm.

"I work for the royal palace."

Y/N's eyes widened, "Wow, that's so cool, Luna!"

"But, I've been kind of feeding your bread and pastries to the royal family... without telling them it was yours.”

Y/N nodded, a frown forming on her lips, "Did they think it was good?" Luna gasped, thinking that Y/N was going to be furious after hearing the news. But she took it in the most ideal way possible.

Jeno was surprised by her lack of enthusiasm after hearing the news, it's not every day that someone in their kingdom had the honor of having their items or goods used by the royals. There were lines ready to get the royal's approval to gain attraction to their businesses.

Luna nodded, "Y-Yeah, so much in fact that the cooking staff had a panic attack because you are sorta technically the royal baker at this moment..."

Y/N's eyes widened, "You guys don't have a royal baker? How unfortunate... I'd be willing to continue to send my products to their highnesses." Y/N then smiled, directing her smile to Jeno.

Jeno blushed, he'd much rather she become his future wife instead...

"Hmm, the thing is that the king and queen personally requested that you become the royal baker, though..." Luna said, tentatively. Y/N was silent for a moment, Jeno nervously awaited her answer.

"It's an honor, but I'm going to have to politely decline.

~~~

Jeno sighed as he sat down for breakfast the very next morning. He saw that very same loaf of bread from the pretty baker in Luna's village.

Y/N.

Everything about her made Jeno's mind go crazy. She was polite, hard-working, kind, slightly quirky, and had a sweet personality. He so desperately wanted to get to know her, but that would be difficult as she was too difficult to sway when it came down to the decision. He wanted her here, but he also understood why she wanted to stay at her bakery.

Jeno sighed once again, chomping down on the bread freshly made this morning, oh how much he would rather see her face than the product from her hands.

"Son, is something bothering you?"

Jeno looked up to his father giving him a stern look, he straightened up from his slumped position by his food. He gave his father a look, "I'm fine, your highness."

"You look unwell, dear." His mother cooed, concerned for his well being. He was being so difficult just at the thought of the girl.

"You have an engagement with Princess Yeeun today, Son. You better freshen up so that she doesn't see you in your miserable state."

Jeno huffed, while he was fine with Yeeun, he really didn't see her as someone he would spend the rest of his life with. He hated the tradition of engagements and decided who would be best to continue the royal lineage. There were so many girls that wanted to marry him, but just did not take a liking to any of them.

Later in the day, after his 'date' with Yeeun, Jeno walked out into the rose garden, looking around at the blooming flowers. Y/N reminded him of these flowers, maybe if he ever saw her again he could escort her through the gardens one day.

"Prince."

Jeno looked up from his place in the garden, watching a smirking Luna walking his direction.

"What is it, Luna?" He said as she neared him.

"Thinking about a certain someone?" She said, poking some fun at him. He choked, not quite understanding what she could be on about.

"Luna, the only people I think about are my parents and my horse."

Luna rolled her eyes, looking down at the flower that Jeno was cupping in his hand. A gentle smile rose to her thin lips, "First of all, a horse is not a human. Secondly, I saw the way you oogled at Y/N, Jeno. You can't fool me."

"And so what, I'm never going to have her, so why even think about it?"

Luna sighed as she saw Jeno's face gradually go sour. A thought popped up in her mind.

"Why don't you invite her to the King's birthday party?"

Jeno shot his head up, eyes wide. He looked down at his petite friend.

"A-Ah well, I'm going to have to deal with all of my potential suitors, though..."

"So what? I know you could give her a dance. Besides, I'll take her for the rest of the night. You can mingle with all you're girls you want, but her presence will show you how dumb you are."

"How dumb I am?" He barked, causing Luna to chuckle, "Yeah, how dumb you are for not trying to get her. I know your parents are strict, but why not try to court her? At least get to know her. Your dumb face showed me that you fell in love with her immediately after she opened her mouth."

Jeno blushed, why could Luna always read him like a damn book. He thought he was so sly about it.

"I don't know, Luna."

"Well, I'll invite her then."

Jeno gave her a look, "You little snot..."

"All in your best interest, Prince. Besides, every single guy in town wants to court her, and she's coming to an age where her father is starting to ask her about marriage. I'd stomp out your competition before someone does actually whisk her feet off the ground. Just a fruit for thought, though. See you later, Jeno."

Luna turned around, waving to him lazily before departing. Jeno looked down, Luna always had these crazy ideas in her head, but maybe this time it would actually work out? Or it could cause a war between the neighboring kingdoms...

Just a fruit for thought, huh?

_____________________________________

Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3

Hunnyuwu

^Jeno is a prince and no one can tell me otherwise:)

#lee jeno #nct imagines #nct x y/n #nct dream #nct jeno #jeno #jeno imagines #nct 127 #neowritingsnet #jaemin #na jaemin #nct x reader #jeno x y/n #nct jaemin

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montanababe7 · 1 month ago

Text

Wrote this two years ago: Wrote this several months ago. Thankful 🥲 to Jesus🙏🏼🙌🏼

But God. I don’t know any other way to start this post.

I had an encounter with Jesus that still just stops me in my tracks. I don’t expect anyone to read this with a dry eye, nor do I think you’ll be able to.

You see, I thought I was permanently & emotionally broken and that was just how things were. I didn’t know that Jesus could completely free me from my cptsd.

Let’s go back to 2008. I had joined an internship that left me emotionally scarred and broken for at least one decade.

Fast forward to 2022-The next moment…is what brings me to my knees I’m thankful to Jesus. Jesus asked me audibly if I wanted to be made whole. He asked me this at least three times…if not more🥺. My first time thought was, ‘yes, of course Jesus. But if you heal me of my cptsd; who will I be?’ He responded back immediately, ‘that’s not what I asked you. I asked you if you wanted to be made whole. It was a command. Not a question. Do you want to be made whole?’

I said, ‘yes, Jesus😭. I’m done being broken and angry on the inside all the time. I just want to stop hurting.’

Seconds later, but I’m sure it was instantaneously, I saw myself back at go ministries international-a part of where my cptsd was stemmed from. I was all alone in the woods….just done with everything. It was during the com m u n i s m game the core leaders had instigated. It was pouring outside. I had found a perfect rock. Jesus spoke to me again, ‘I sent someone right then to stop you from attempting to end your life. The timing could not have been more crucial than you’ll understand. The person I sent over; had no idea they were part of saving your life. I worked through them to rescue you.’

Jesus than showed me another scene. He asked me..’do you remember when you were so depressed and a su icidal when you were sneaking showers so no one would know what you were planning? I sent my guardian and ministering angels to you at that exact moment just as you had the r a z o r poised at your arm and they took those things out of your hands-saving your life. You had simply thought right than that you just changed your mind. Nope, there was a war going on for your destiny. Little did you know just how close you were to end ing your life right than.’ I, of course am bawling my eyes out at that point. I could feel years of pain, heaviness, and heartache melting away. It wasn’t a small trickle of emotions; it was a flood. I wept as I had never wept before.

Jesus spoke something else to my heart. He said to me, ‘My beloved daughter Jessica, you have spent years removing the spiritual grave clothes off of others; revealing a gorgeous gown or tuxedo for others. It’s beyond time that the spiritual grave clothes come off you too. It’s time for you to really live.’ In that moment, I started seeing chains ⛓ being broken in the realms of the spirit.

Jesus asked me another question. He said, ‘it’s time for you to stop hating your mom. She was parenting you out of her own brokenness. You must fully forgive her. The pain and hurt that you’ve held onto over the many years-has been destroying you. Let that pain go. Forgive her. Love her from a distance.’

I turn to mike and tell him, ‘I’m not hurting anymore. I don’t feel angry any more. Jesus just now healed my cptsd. Completely. The pain is gone.’

There’s a softness around my eyes that I haven’t seen in quite some time. Ok, it’s been years. I don’t need to keep walls up anymore. I can be free to feel and not shut down.

I’ve been weeping more than I ever have. But, in a good way. I no longer feel the need to hold back my tears or to prevent myself to cry. I’m finally my age at 35 and not as someone who’s ancient. I feel younger in a good way. Jesus has done this. He’s done all of it.

So when I say-but God. I mean every word of it.

Jesus saved me. It’s that simple. I am here

For a purpose. I’m still learning and discovering what it all means. But. Now, I am

Whole. Jesus can do there impossible in your life, too. I know this to be true…because he’s done it in mine🥺

Love you all,

Jessica.

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deepwaterwritingprompts · 4 years ago

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ooh ask day! are you working on any of your own writing at the moment? what excites you about it? is your writing similar to your prompts in any way? or do the prompts fulfill something else for you?

mainly im working on getting my first novel published, which you can read about HERE. otherwise, the sequel, an adult fiction project, and an urban fantasy type YA about a town called florida. in florida. Florida, florida.

Florida project, working title BORDERLINE, is the most in line with my general prompt vibe here. a little cosmic horror, bent reality, just generally odd.

I never write stuff based off the prompts, but I DO write prompts based off my own stuff, very occasionally. for me, writing prompts is like scales for a musician. keeps my brain well oiled.

*still taking asks, no requests please*

anyway, ive been working on Florida project a lot lately. have an excerpt:

Backpage:

Lin O’Leary was born and raised in the town of Florida, Florida, tucked away into a corner of the state’s forgotten coast. All the locals know Florida is a strange place, rumored to stand on a borderline, where the veil is thin and mysterious forces wander alongside the human population. The daughter of Irish and Mexican immigrants, Lin knows you can only find trouble if you go looking for it, and like the rest of Florida’s residents, lives comfortably alongside the supernatural. This is before Momoko Kasahara disappears into thin air, frightening the town of Florida into a new, ultra-cautious existence. Five years after Momo’s disappearance, Lin is seventeen, a highschool dropout now working at a convenience store, her once vibrant town still plagued by fear. The days drag by, mundane as they come in Florida, occasionally punctuated by unpleasant visits from Bo Kasahara, brother to Momo and full time asshole. Then, one fateful late shift, Lin sees the missing Kasahara twin standing in the aisles, gone as quickly as she appeared. Meanwhile, a stranger arrives from California, claiming to be a paranormal investigator hellbent on uncovering the mysteries of Florida, and suddenly Lin is faced with a choice. Be smart and keep her head down, or dive headlong into the strange mist that so often covers Florida, to rescue Momo Kasahara, and return her town to the way she remembers it.

1. 100% humidity feels like breathing underwater.

L I N

Florida ate Momoko Kasahara on the most miserable day of the year, and washed her down with a thunderstorm. A lot of other important things happened that day, but Momo’s disappearance overshadowed them all. Momo was the coolest girl in our class. She had shiny black hair that ran down to her waist. She liked to wear a different flavor of lip gloss every day of the week, and could sing in Japanese. I was on my way home from the beach when I saw the police cars in her driveway, and her twin brother sitting on the porch, painted purple in the twilight.

He shook his head, at me, slow, and all the sound seemed to drain out of the world. The flashing police lights distorted his face, as bright white clouds passed too quickly above us. The whole scene drove a stake of wrongness hard into my chest. Sometimes even now, I dream about it. Bo and I watching each other. The dead silence. The purple light. The too white clouds. And Momo, eaten. For the first time in my life, I was afraid of my own town.

My name is Lin O’leary. I live in Florida, Florida, a nothing sort of place crammed into an extra forgotten corner of the state’s already forgotten coast. Some days I can forget about Momo, and everything that happened in the hours before she vanished. Heff says I’m good at keeping my eyes closed, even when they’re open.

I really wish he were right.

2. Cloudy with a chance of hotdogs (haunted).

J U L I E N

I was standing in front of the worst building I had ever seen. Slab grey and full of sharp edges, additions had been slapped onto every side until it resembled an impossible puzzle piece. The front windows were crowded with signs for cold beer and hot food, but the glass itself was opaque. It was a convenience store from hell, a collection of stationary parts so nonsensical I was worried it might grow a few new alcoves if I blinked. Above the door, an unintelligible sign in complicated neon cursive flashed electric blue. There was a neon clock too, flickering wildly, just striking twelve.

I must have walked halfway across town, and as far I could tell this was the only place that sold food at all, let alone past three in the morning. Still, I couldn’t bring myself to go inside. My stomach was a mess, and haunted convenience store hot dogs could only make it worse. I fished my phone out of my pocket, but the little service I had was, like the midnight clock above me, barely clinging to existence, my map application nothing more than a collection of beige squares. There was no one around. The sky was intensely dark, a pitch black blanket of clouds. Water hung thick in the air, the night time street so quiet I could almost hear beads of sweat sliding down my already slick face. No, there was nothing for it. I needed directions.

The bell above the door made a strange, flat sound as I pressed inside. If the building was weird from the outside, that was nothing to its interior. The shelves, tall and numerous, had been arranged like maze walls. The overhead lights were blinding, stark white, and every other tile on the floor was mismatched. Some were squares of carpet. The only thing really visible from the entrance was the register, a fortress made of dark wood and surrounded by lottery advertisements. Behind the counter, a girl was reading something intently. As I got closer, I saw it was the back of a box of oatmeal.

“Hi,” I said, adjusting the duffel bag that had been crushing my left shoulder for an hour.

The girl nodded, but didn’t look up. She had thin black hair, pin straight and chin length. Her skin was a warm, golden brown. Her shirt said something in miniscule writing, but my glasses were a little foggy, so I would have had to practically press my face to her chest to read it, which didn’t seem like a great first impression.

“Can you help me? I’m looking for the Fahrenheit Motel. I think it’s supposed to be around here.”

Finally, she glanced at me.

“It’s just around the corner. See the glasses store across the street? Go straight past that and make the second left, you’ll run right into it.”

She pointed out the window, and I realized they were one way.

“Who built this place?” I asked.

She shrugged.

“We’ve had a lot of owners. Everyone adds something new.”

There was something off about her. Like we were talking, but mentally she was still

reading the box of oatmeal.

“I’m Julien,” I said, sticking out a hand. She raised her eyebrows before taking it.

“Lin,” she said, with another small nod.

Her face was round, but her features were knife sharp. I wondered what she looked like angry. Maybe that was a really weird thing to think.

Not wanting to ask for a second set of directions, I wandered around the store for thirty minutes before returning to the counter with a gallon of chocolate milk and a bag of seaweed flavored potato chips.

“I can’t believe you have these. I didn’t think you could find them outside of California.”

Instead of replying, Lin held up the chocolate milk.

“There’s no fridge in your room at the Fahrenheit. You know that right?”

“I was told on the phone… ” I started.

“There’s a fridge, but it’s in the lobby, communal. Kimmy’ll drink this.” She gave the milk a little shake before scanning it. “Just warning you.”

“Thanks,” I said, as she stuffed my things in a smiling shopping bag.

I paused on my way out.

“Goodnight,” I said, “Or, good morning I guess.”

Lin stared at me, then glanced at the box of oatmeal and back.

“Morning,” she said, with a sigh.

***

I followed Lin’s directions, and wound up at last in front of a long, low building sporting a vacancies sign. Even in low light I could see about a hundred sad looking plastic flamingos had been stuck all over the lawn, the bushes, even the gravel path that led to the front door. I had to pick my way around them on approach.

There was no one at the front desk. The reception area was lit only by the green blue light coming from an enormous fishtank that didn’t seem to have any fish in it. As I approached the counter, I noticed someone had left the key to my room out for me, next to a scrap of paper bearing the wifi password. I picked up the key, old and brass, then watched the fishtank for a second, before turning around and experiencing heart failure.

A very old woman with wiry black hair was standing there in her nightgown, arms crossed and frowning at me. She didn’t apologize for nearly sending me to my grave.

“I’m up. I can check you in properly,” she said, shuffling past me. “I’m Kimmy, but you can call me Miss Kimmy. You got ID?”

I dug it out of my wallet while she opened a dusty guest book.

“The reservation is for Julien True,” I said.

Miss Kimmy glanced at the ID I had just handed her.

“That’s not what this says.”

“I know. It’s a stage name,” I admitted, “everything else is correct.”

She raised an eyebrow to herself, but didn’t ask any more questions.

“Now listen,” she said finally, shutting the guest book with a snap. “I’ll be honest, there’s not much to do around here. There’s a bus runs to the state forest during the day, and the beach isn’t going anywhere. If you’re hungry that’s too bad for the most part, unless you feel like walking down to Morton’s.”

“Is that the weird looking building? One way windows?”

“That’s the one. Midnight Morton’s, never closes. This late at night you’ve got Lin at the counter, nice girl.”

I don’t know what I would have called Lin, but it probably wasn’t ‘nice girl’.

“Thanks,” I said, glancing around for the hallway that led to my room.

I bid Miss Kimmy goodnight and lugged my things to Room 7, at the very end of the dark hall. Inside was simple, but stunningly clean, which I had in no way expected. The bed had a sunken spot in the middle, and there were a lot of paintings of tropical fish on the walls. Home sweet home. I changed into pajamas, and took a huge swig of chocolate milk before glancing at my duffel, still full of equipment.

It could wait. I was exhausted, sweaty, and more alone than I had ever been in my entire life.

3. Welcome to my grocery store how may I assist you.

L I N

“I want to drop out of high school,” said Roach.

We were sprawled out on separate tartan sofas, both angled towards the ancient television. It was after midnight, and the only light in the room was coming from the nature channel.

“No you don’t,” I said. “You’re not even in high school.”

Roach was a weird little girl. Eleven years old, she wore oversized thrift store t-shirts, and big chunky glasses, and cut her own hair. I loved her the most in this world.

“Yeah, but when I get there, I want to drop out. You did.”

I sighed.

“You’re smarter than me. You have to finish school and work in a laboratory anywhere but here. Those are the rules.”

Roach crossed and uncrossed her skinny legs without arguing. I knew she just wanted to hear me say she was smart.

We continued to watch the nature channel in silence. A documentary on the arctic ocean was playing, which I found devastatingly boring, but Roach was clearly glued to. I could hear dad snoring upstairs, a pleasant sort of nightly white noise, and tuned out completely until Roach clapped an inch from my face.

“Jeez,” I started, pushing her hands away.

“You were way out there. It’s freaky.”

I had been practicing my zone out since I was Roach’s age. On my best day, I could have an entire conversation without hearing one word the other person said. Call it a life skill.

“You’re doing it again!” said Roach. “Don’t you have work soon?”

That snapped me out of it. I looked at my watch.

“Oh, yeah. Thank you.”

I rolled off the couch as Roach sat back down with a huff. The arctic documentary was ending, and she picked up the changer to scroll through a long list of similar recordings. Roach loved animals, all of them, even fish that ate your insides, and grubs, and parasitic worms. Especially parasitic worms.

“Don’t stay up too late okay?” I said, tugging gently on her massive ponytail. Roach got dad’s curly, reddish brown hair. I got mom’s.

“Mmhm.”

I glanced in the hall mirror to see if there was any food on my shirt. Then I stepped into the mosquito ridden, muggy Florida night, and headed to my shift.

***

You might be thinking: where does a seventeen year old high school dropout work after midnight? And the thrilling answer is: the grocery store, sort of.

You might be thinking: what?

But that’s Morton’s.

The sliding doors opened smoothly for me upon arrival, which was always a good omen. I straightened the newsstand and went to look for Barry.

My manager, a small, Dominican man who loved to party, was in the produce section with a woman I assumed was his latest girlfriend. He was chucking the moldiest vegetables into an open trashcan.

“Our fresh produce is a travesty,” I said. “When was the last time someone bought an eggplant here?”

“I’m thinking of moving the veg,” said Barry, “they don’t like the energy in this corner.”

Barry was constantly moving things around the small labyrinth that was Morton’s. At least once a month he would take an hour long stroll from shelf to shelf, while I wrote down what was going where. I made a new map of the store for every big move.

“What are you guys up to tonight?” I asked, as Barry followed me to the register, bag of moldy vegetables in hand.

“Dancing,” said his date, with an endearing round of jazz hands, as Barry broke into a stationary samba while he gave me a list of stuff to work on. He treated me to his own enthusiastic jazz hands, and a few notes of a Juan Luis Guerra song as he samba’d in the direction of the door. As it swung shut behind them, I let the intense silence of Morton's wash over me. The fluorescent lights hummed gently. The food sat well behaved in slightly crooked rows. I turned my brain down to its lowest setting, and consulted my list.

...

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izukult · 4 years ago

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This is such a cute idea! I’m addicted to making weirdly specific Spotify playlists so this is perfect. I have an ✨eclectic✨ music taste but my favorites are usually bedroom pop (mxmtoon, chloe moriondo, khai dreams, etc), romantic classical (think Debussy and Revel), and indie (although I like some Megan Thee Stallion, AC/DC, Nirvana, etc when I’m hyping myself up). As far as my personality goes, I’m pretty insightful and like to support people whenever I can, even if I don’t know them well. I can be a little chaotic sometimes, but I like to think it’s a chaotic good. I love tea, blankets, philosophy, deep conversations, the outdoors, and writing. I’m also an INFP and a Taurus :)

Sorry if that was too much, thank you so much! Take care of yourself and stay well

- Elle ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

( @snoozless ) you don’t understand how bad i want to be your friend. 😐😐 ok so you kind of get bonus 😀 but it rly might not be bonus because akfjakdkw. so, i gave you matsukawa!! but he’s not always like revered about so if u want a character lmk!! i am. in love w him tho. you’re so sweet you would balance him out and yall would be equally chaotic together.

he would have philosophical questions w u!! he might just be a little blunt & might accidentally cut the convo short, but he would listen to everything you said.

he’s used to a wide variety of music bc i’m convinced the seijoh playlists are absolutely fucking cracked like so loud. so he really could sit there and listen to anything. and i mean ANYTHING. like if you wanted to put on christian rock he’d awkwardly try to tap his foot on beat for you.

but, that doesn’t mean he’s gonna geek over you i feel like he’d be pretty private about the relationship. he’s not like secretive but he’s not gonna post you every two seconds yknow? he wouldnt put prom photos, but if yall went to look at the stars or go on a little hike he’d take a pic and youre wearing baggy sweats and one of his shirts and your hair isnt brushed for shit and it’s way too dark to properly make your face out and he’d put that shit on his main absolutely 😒

this man would be the kind of mf to look up his “crush’s” zodiac just for shits & giggles, so if he randomly knows a taurus fact, don’t question it<3 (he looked up your compatibility and he will take that to the grave)

issei is an infp idc. so yall got that in common.

he’s genuinely so pretty.

bc i took so long, i’m going to put descriptions for all the songs i love you thanks for requesting sorry for taking forever i’ll link the playlist and list the songs<3

1. silly girl- chloe moriondo

okay while this song is actually kinda sad, i think tHIS is pretty cute. issei comes off as this intimidating guy, and the more you get to know him the more you forget ab this idea of him you had or whatever? like the lyrics “i made him perfect, cause i wanted him to be” are really prominent in the point i’m tryna make because like even tho the lyric is obviously sad bitch shit, music is up for interpretation and this is like “hello ok he actually a real mf and shiiit maybe he cool😁✊”

2. nice boys- TEMPOREX

kinda sad. i don’t care how unemotional he might act, everyone has shit that brings them down. PLUS HES A PISCES THERES NO WAY HES NOT SAD SOMETIMES. this song just really taps into insecurities for him, and the song just gets under his skin in like a very therapeutic way. also “because he’s a pisces” some of his emotions are super intense so the “because he cares too much” line hits him fuckin hard

3. IV. sweatpants- childish gambino

this is some shit he listens to more with his team, absolutely. no doubt they blare this shit during weekly practice. but, he really really likes the song. so, when you’re hanging out and he has the aux? it’s one of the first ones he puts on. you two jam to it together. he’ll come up w dumb little dances to fit with certain lyrics (stole some of them from oikawa and hanamaki, but he won’t tell you)

4. you get me so high- the neighbourhood

okay unfortunately i must say him and hanamaki get fuckin faded in empty fields at two am all trashy like. but they make it look good idc. and if you smoke, cool, if you don’t he does not care. he always associated getting high with,,, getting high and everytime he listened to this song it just was one of his getting blazed jams, but now he’s got like a different kinda “euphoric” feel with loving you? like i said this bitch is a pisces even if he doesn’t overwhelm you with affection, he thinks ab you 24/7

5. 80’s makeout session- dacelynn

thIS SONG IS SO CUTE. but it’s p self explanatory. in love and also spare a kiss pls

6. can i call you tonight- dayglow

i feel like actually coming to terms with genuine feelings for someone would be kind of weird for issei. like no offense, but he sees it as kind of a pain in the ass. i genuinely think he would be someone to put his all into work or a task in front of him. he’s super intuitive, and constantly uses it to be better. whether it’s in volleyball or like cremating ppl i guess (HE WORKS INA FUNERAL HOME POST TIME SKIP IF U DIDNT KNOW). and it’s the same in relationships, but it’s also harder because he can’t have this complete clear head because you make his brain go kinda fuzzy. so, this song is like his little way of expressing that even tho he was like ‘internally conflicted’ this mf chose to go for it and that’s how much u mean to him

7. clair de lune, L. 32- claude debussy

i’m gonna be fucking honest with you. even though he’ll listen to anything, i really don’t think this man is looking up ‘classical romance study tunes’ playlists in his free time. he definitely enjoys the music, but that’s only if someone points it out to him. and he’s listened to you talk about it before, and watched you as you heard the piano and gauged your reactions and thought u were pretty cute he’s not gonna lie😼. so he definitely just looked up classical romance and picked the first recommended song and added it on there. he’ll dance w you a lil bit, but it wouldn’t be that quiet, intimate slow dancing in the dark you think would come w this song. itd just be a little sway as he hugs you from behind while you get water, or he twirls you once randomly with a laugh UGH I LOVE HIM

8. like real people do- hozier

ok. this one was fun for me. idc. double meaning lol. so this song is literally about two dead bodies in a bog and ,,, and he works in a funeral home PLS LMAOFJAJDJA I THINK THATS SO FUCKING FUNNY AND SO DOES HE. but also this song literally is my idea of love. this is my idea of love. and yall listen to it, with your stupid little death joke, but he looks at you and he’s just like ‘oh’. yknow? YKNOW?

9. BS- still woozy

like i said, i think he puts a lot into work. and he literally plays for a powerhouse school there’s no way he doesn’t practice a lot. so that means there’s a lot of time where he’s physically not there and definitely can’t text, because he’s trying to improve. and while he wouldn’t stop volleyball for someone else, he understands that you are like super amazing for being so Cool with him not being the most available. the song just reminds him of how compassionate you are and also he does miss u when he’s at practice YKNOW?

10. i <3 u- boy pablo

this one made me so fucking soft ew. ok. this song reminds him of you so so much. he’s totally okay being vulnerable with you? and even though he has pretty heightened emotions, he’s never felt like so strongly for smth other than like ??? volleyball and caring ab his siblings (BUT HE FEELS DIFFERENT FOR U THAN HE DOES FOR A VOLLEYBALL AND HIS SIBLINGS PLEASE😁). HE LUVVVVV YOU

11. heart-shaped box- nirvana

so many reasons. for one, simply fucking JAM. yall would scream this on a drive. if you ever got drunk together, this would be the first song you play. also, little lyrics remind you of each other. (the pisces lyric in the first and third verse, and even tho the flowers aren’t being used in a sweet sense in the song he does remember talking ab flowers w u, and now any flower is mentioned and he’s like “ah yes. my girlfriend.”)

12. pluto projector- rex orange county

FUCK. FUCK THIS SONG. GOD. NO. LIKE HE REALIZES HE’S IN LOVE WITH YOU WITH THIS SONG. HE T E L L S YOU HE’S IN LOVE WITH YOU WITH THIS SONG. the first time, he just sends you the name of it like ‘pluto projector <3’ and you listen and it’s so sweet and ur like ayo turn this shit up. and he adds it to your playlist, which definitely gets a smile from you. and then one night like two weeks later youre just laying together, and he’s running his fingers through his hair and he pulls away for a second to grab his phone and he turns the song on and you just listen to it in silence and it’s so fucking intimate. and he’s just like “i don’t think i’ve ever related to a song more” and you think he’s making a joke so you tell him to shut up (also jokingly) and he just laughs and it’s dark in his room and he’s playing with your hair again and he just goes “god, if you’re telling me to shut up over that i don’t even want to imagine how you’re gonna react when i tell you i love you” and it’s right around 3:10 in the song i’m literally so gone for him. bye you cry and try to hide it but he can tell HES PERCEPTIVE

13. i wanna be yours- arctic monkeys

okay for one, it’s a good song. it’s a song he absolutely let’s play in the background, just to cover the static lol. but also? ALSO? THE TITLE APPLIES TO YOU THE FUCK? it’s as if,,, he’s whipped,,

14. supermassive black hole- muse

hanamaki prolly showed him this song, and it’s one of his vibe songs. he will do falsetto while singing it if he’s in a really good mood and it just makes everyone laugh, including himself. it actually kind of grosses him out, because this song used to literally just be a song he would aimlessly go hard to but NOW his little bitch ass is like “you set my soul alight”? i guess i relate and “oh baby, i’m a fool for you” well, surely i’m not a fool but yea i get you muse sing it. it’s so gross. at this point he wants one thing that doesn’t make him think of you, just to prove that he’s not that gone, but he struggling

15. desperado- rhianna

i’m sorry to say it but this song makes him feel like a bad bitch LMAOOOOO. like if he’s ever getting pregame jitters or anything, he will just play this song. whether it’s on the speaker or in his headphones, he puts this shit on full volume and gets a lil too cocky LOL. this is also on the main seijoh playlist no doubt. he wants to share his bad bitch song w you, so you can aLSO feel like a bad bitch?? dUH

IM SO SORRY FOR THE WAIT BABES! IF YOU WANT ANY OF THE SONGS CHANGED (or even the character) LMK!! UR AMAZING ur so sweet it makes me ill

#haikyuu #haikyuu playlists #ikigaitooru playlists #matsukawa issei #mastukawa x reader #matsukawa playlist #haikyuu x reader

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