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spikedfearn · 3 months ago

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I Said Just a Little Bit, Then I Got a Taste of It

Chapter V

bjorn x fem!reader

summary: After being transferred to another sector of Jackson's Star you reluctantly befriend a ragtag group of people with the exception of one cocky asshole who knows just how to get under your skin.

On the surface, you hate each other, but after experiencing a particularly harrowing event together, the two of you grow closer than anyone else could ever imagine.

a/n: bjorn fucks you seven ways to Sunday. that's it, that's the chapter. also, I don't know why it took me five chapters to realize I never mentioned the title of the fic is from the song "small doses" by bebe rexha lol, the lyrics inspired the story, it's worth a listen if you've never heard it before.

warnings: secret friends with benefits, enemies to lovers, angst, alcohol/drug use, nsfw, non-linear narrative, trauma bonding, resolved sexual tension, praise kink (both ways), oral (giving/receiving), loss of virginity, dirty talk, shower sex, falling in love

tags: @asvtrials @urfavhanna @orangebeauty @3arthtoeden @barnes70stark (comment if you wanna be notified when a new chapter drops)

wc: 5.1k

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It was meant to be a one time thing—sleeping with Bjorn.

Something that neither of you would ever bring up, not to anyone, not to each other, a silent pact of secrecy you mutually understood but, like everything else that's happened since your transfer to sector six, things don't go as planned.

Kay nearly lunges at you when she sees you again, having barely been extracted from the ruins of that specific section of the man made tunnel you’d been down in. Her fingers create wrinkles in the fabric near the shoulder blades of your grimy tee you haven't gotten a chance to change out of, face wet with tears, arms coming up to return her embrace, the first time you've actually ever done so.

She'd been crying ever since she heard the news, word having traveled fast about what had happened after you went looking for Bjorn in the mines. Kay and the others had immediately rushed over to the accident site only to be met with heavy yellow tape and traffic cones policed by armed guards, roping the area off to the rest of the colonists that had gathered there.

According to the reports, you and Bjorn had been trapped for just over six hours, which doesn't seem accurate, not when it felt like an eternity to you, throats tight from the fumes while you found comfort in each other.

Speaking of, you glance over to see Tyler and Navarro taking turns bear hugging Bjorn, squeezing him a little tighter, holding him a little longer, undoubtedly over the moon to have him back alive.

Navarro buries her face in his chest to hide her tears, never one to show her emotions just like her brother, though the shakiness in her shoulders gives it away, the flat of his palm running over her back to reassure her.

You turn the other way as soon as you realize Bjorn is craning his head to look in your direction, his gaze burning into your profile with the intensity of it, fighting the urge to look over and meet the icy blues of his irises.

While you keep your eyes trained elsewhere you can't help but wonder what Bjorn is thinking while he stares at you, if he's thinking about what you just did together. If he's remembering how you sounded crying out his name, the way you looked desperately bouncing on top of him, how it felt to be inside of you with nothing in between.

You suppress the shudder threatening to run down the length of your spine thinking about it, not wanting Kay to notice, even if you could theoretically write it off as a side effect from being trapped for hours.

That’s when Tyler makes his way over to you and Kay, who's just barely let you go, swapping places with her to hug you next and apologize profusely, feeling guilty for what happened, like he's trying to take responsibility for sending you in after Bjorn, like it's his fault.

“Tyler—Tyler listen,” you insist, hoping to assuage his remorse, finally getting him to pull back and look at you, holding you at arm's length by your biceps, “I don't blame you like—at all. How could you've possibly known what was gonna happen? Besides, it was probably a good thing, Bjorn and I talked it out and we're…okay now.”

Thing is though, you honestly don't know where the truth lies in that statement, having no clue where you and Bjorn stand at the current moment.

Yeah, you hooked up and yeah it was incredible, best lay of your life—which isn't saying much considering you were hammered every other time—but you have no idea how it'll affect your dynamic going forward, what parts of it will inevitably change and what will remain the same, if anything at all.

And that scares you, the uncertainty of it all, downright terrifies you. It's the entire reason you chose to isolate yourself from other people after your transfer, wanting to be left alone, a type of peace that can only be forged within yourself, finding solace in its predictability.

But you've been flirting with danger instead, ever since you accepted Kay's invite to hangout, telling yourself—lying to yourself—that you won't get too close as you were integrated into the group, so slow and imperceptible you didn't even notice until you were in too deep, up to your shoulders in a bottomless pit of quicksand.

Once the medical team on standby clears you and Bjorn you're free to go, watching Tyler sling his arm around Bjorn's shoulders and ask if he and Navarro would like to have a sleepover at his and Kay's, “yanno like when we wuz little,” he laughed, patting Bjorn's chest with an added layer of enthusiasm, Bjorn accepting the invite with an easy little smile and nod.

You part ways soon after, promising Kay you'll talk to her later after you've showered and gotten a good night's rest. Going home to clean off the dirt and debris and dry come, scrubbing extra hard between your legs, scrubbing your thighs until they're almost red and raw, like you're trying to erase what happened, washing the evidence down the drain by your feet.

Though it does nothing to get rid of the finger-shaped bruises sitting just under your hips or the hickey halfway down your neck, examining them while you stand naked in the mirror you have hanging in your bedroom, a gradually fading reminder of what happened between you and him.

A structural defect in the support beams, that's what you're told the day after the cave-in while you're clocking in for another sixteen hour shift, something that had resulted in a disastrous domino effect leading to the collapse. An accident waiting to happen, blamed on the colonists who first erected the area rather than the corporation that had them go into the mines in an unsturdy environment in the first place.

The rescue mission wasn't about you and Bjorn, you worked that out on your own, why would they care about two low ranking miners that were referred to by numbers anyways? It was about the valuable resources that could still be extracted, saving you was a byproduct of retaining that tunnel before it could bury it all under rubble and wood. Fucking figures.

After work you stop by a convenience store and pick up a variety of pregnancy tests from different brands just to be sure, rushing back to your apartment to take them in the privacy of your own home, holding the plastic bag close to your chest so anyone passing by can't possibly see what's inside.

The fifteen minute wait is eating at you, feeling longer than the time you spent trapped underground, leg jiggling impatiently while you sit on the closed toilet lid with your fingers loosely steepled together, one elbow resting on either knee.

You slump back against the porcelain tank, eyes rolling up to the plaster-ridge ceiling the same time all the tension in your body drains when they all, by some miracle, come back negative. Thank fuck. That's one less thing you need to stress out over. Now you just have Bjorn to worry about, which is significantly less terrifying.

There's a knock at the door, startling you, immediately sweeping your arm across the laminate counter to trash everything, yelling over your shoulder to, “hold on a fucking second!” when the knocking persists. It can't be Tyler this time, he isn't this impatient. Or annoying.

Although you wish it had been, your eyes meeting striking blue ones as soon as you answer the door, your heart plummeting to your feet like a runaway dumbwaiter in an elevator shaft.

“What the fuck are you doing here?!” You hiss, looking left then right then left again to check if anyone is around, slightly relieved when you see no one—only slightly though, because Bjorn is standing on your doorstep like he just—belongs here.

“Whoa, calm ur tits love,” he responds, holding his hands up in front of him, “want me ta’ suck on ‘em again?” he smirks right after, causing your blood pressure to spike through the roof.

You curl your fingers into the loose fabric of his shirt, Bjorn letting you roughly yank him inside, using his back to slam the door shut behind him, still wearing that smug, shit-eating grin on his dumb face.

“The fucking nerve of you just showing up here unannounced!” You don't yell, not wanting the neighbor you share a wall with to overhear but you get pretty close to it.

Outwardly you're fuming, his shirt still twisted up in your clenched fist but inwardly—inwardly you're trying not to buckle under your own weight, inhaling the familiar scent of tobacco and winter gum rolling off his warm breath, remembering the taste of it, knees feeling a little weak and strange because of it. What the hell is wrong with you?

“And how exactly would I announce it? S’not like I got ya’ digits princess,” he reasons, punctuating his sentence with an annoying little chuckle.

“Even if I did I would've blocked your dumbass immediately,” you fire back, a bit harsher than usual, wanting him to take the hint and get the fuck out of your home. You don't even wanna look at his face right now, still coming to terms with what you'd done while under duress.

Because seriously—who fucks in a mineshaft when you're about to die? It kinda makes you wish you did, hoping for a sinkhole to open up from under your feet right now and swallow you whole out of sheer embarrassment.

“Ma’ point,” he says, tipping his head at you, making you huff, “whatever,” lacking a rebuttal, letting his shirt go to take a step back and tightly cross your arms in front of you, “why'd you come here anyway?”

“Well innit obvious,” Bjorn answers, taking a step forward, then another. And another. And another. And you freeze up, Bjorn close enough now your bodies are almost pressed together, gently placing his thumb on your chin while the rest of his fingers curl under your jaw so you have no choice but to look at him, “for a round two princess.”

Your eyes go wide in surprise and your lips goldfish apart—you don’t know what you were expecting him to say but it definitely wasn’t that. “I only did it in the first place because I thought we were gonna die!”

Bjorn rolls his eyes, leaning in to whisper into your ear, voice like coarse velvet, “don’t act like it wasn't tha’ best screw o’ ya’ life, princess. The way ya’ were moaning ma’ name and tha' heavenly way you wuz squeezin’ around ma’ cock. Haven’t stopped thinkin’ bout it since.”

So he was thinking about what happened in the mine when he looked over at you during your little reunion with the others. You briefly wonder how often he's replayed it in his head, if he lay awake last night while everyone slept around him, remembering how it felt to have his fingers inside you, his cock. If he dreamt about it, hearing your whimpers and pleas to a vivid degree, the sensation of his hands touching the most intimate parts of your body, burning hot like fire ants across your skin, just like you did.

He runs his thumb over your bottom lip, bringing your attention back to him, his touch gentle—barely there, like he's handling porcelain, staring into your eyes for an incredibly long, drawn-out moment.

Then his lips are on yours again, soft and hesitant, like he's testing the waters and you just melt into it, powerless to quit while you're ahead, your eyes falling close as you open your mouth, letting his tongue slip in.

It's easier to find the rhythm this time around, having gotten more than acquainted with Bjorn's style of kissing, the slick sound of it permeating through your tiny apartment, heat already gathering in your pelvis knowing what’s to come, where this is leading to.

Bjorn chuckles into the warm, wet cave of your mouth, thumb running over your now spit glossed lips, eyes roving over your face, seeming to like what he sees, “who knew I jus’ had ta’ stick my tongue down ya’ throat to get ya’ ta' shuddup? Woulda done it tha’ first night i met ya’ if I'da known.”

“Fuck off—hold on,” you pause, spreading your fingers apart with your hand on his chest, feeling his quickening heartbeat against your palm, “I'm not about to let you fuck me raw again,” you follow up, firm in your stance this time, thoughts wandering to the pregnancy tests sitting in the bottom of your trashcan. You were so fucking lucky not to get knocked up the first time around, you're not about to risk it a second time.

A smirk stretches across his face, reaching into the pocket of his tan quilted lined work jacket to fish out a box of condoms, “bought a pack on ma’ way ‘ere. And I hope ya’ know I plan on usin' every. Single. One o’ ‘em. These fuckers are bloody expensive.”

You exhale a breathy moan, nodding your head in return before you curl your fingers into his shirt again, except, instead of pushing him backward you yank him forward, smashing your lips back together.

It's intoxicating—making out with Bjorn, maybe that's why you're so utterly weak when it comes to his advances, whimpering so needy and eager in response to him slipping his hands into the back pockets of your jeans to roughly squeeze your ass through them.

The kiss you're tangled in is somehow more desperate than the one you shared in the mines less than forty eight hours ago, like you're both testing to see if the first time was a fluke or if it'll be just as incredible on the second go around.

“Ya’ gotta call tha’ shots last time princess, this time I wanna,” he tells you, more confident this time around, his eyes softening anyways, “if thas’ okay with ya’?”

The smile you give him is equally as soft, genuine, squeezing his wrist where it's still resting against the denim of your jeans, “what do you want baby?”

“Wanna eat ya’ out. Make ya’ come on ma’ tongue then fuck ya’ nice and deep,” he groans thinking about it, arms circling your waist to keep you close, moaning back just as weak and strained. You've never had someone care about your pleasure the way he does, never had anyone go down on you.

So you're pretty sensitive when he does, needy and pliant in his hands when he has your hips pinned down to your bed, jaw going slack as he licks up between your folds, following your breathy direction.

It's hard telling him what to do, a broken moan escaping you on every other word, legs quivering under him, repeating, “good boy,” like a scratched record every time his tongue finds your clit, able to pinpoint it after so many praises whimpered, circling his tongue around it, spurred on by the pet name.

Cupping the underside of both thighs, his nails bite into your skin, drawing them up so your knees are pointed to the ceiling, wearing them like a pair of earmuffs while he sucks on the bundle of nerves his lips are curved around.

“Mmm, yeah just—fuck that feels so good, you're doing so good, keep going just like that. Good boy,” you keen, high and pretty, your hand going between your legs to find the sweaty mess of his hair and yanking on it, making him growl in response. So, he likes his hair pulled too.

Bjorn settles his upper lip just above your clit, careful to cover his teeth, his bottom lip just above your opening before he licks into you, pushing his tongue in, causing you to grind down onto him, pulling on his scalp a little harder.

He spells his name out on your clit, like he owns it, says he read up on it just to make it good which turns you on all the more, knowing he cares enough to learn what to do and how to do it, how to get your thighs closing around his head and grinding down on the warm wet muscle penetrating you.

He shallowly fucks it in and out of you, the spit naturally produced on his tongue aiding in the slip and slide, warm breath wafting over the cooling trail of spit causing you to shiver even more.

It's when Bjorn's pushing his fingers in alongside and curling them over your g-spot that has your abdominal muscles spasming, coming on his tongue just like he wanted, licking you into hypersensitivity.

Bjorn looks just as drunk on it as you are, despite being completely sober when you pulled him into your apartment, lids droopy and his eyes glossed over, crawling over you to fuck you nice and deep just like he promised.

You go through three condoms that night. After the bed you make your way into the shower next, sliding up and down the steamed glass door as he fucks you up against it, your hands and tits leaving sweaty imprints for several seconds from behind because of it.

He has his shin resting against the lip of the low square tub to keep his balance, the warm water washing down over you with his fingers resting right over the bruises he left from before. Bjorn thrusts up into you, spearing you hard and fast, like he's trying to knock your pelvis out of its frame.

It feels so good, beyond anything you've ever felt before, grunting into your ear that you're, “jus’ as wet n’ tight as before’ and that you're a, “littla’ fuckin’ tease ain't cha’ princess?”

This is all under your command, something you told him to do after you soaked through your bedsheets, needing another spot to absolutely ruin, one hand curling over the lip of the glass door to keep it shut tight while he erratically fucks you up against it from behind, still learning how to channel it all in his hips so he can rail you that much harder.

Strands of hair are sticking to your face, trying not to swallow any of it as you cry out from the force of his thrusts, rattling the glass in its frame. There's no fucking way your neighbor doesn't know what's going on now, not that you really find it in you to give a shit at the moment.

He trashes the condom when you turn off the now cold water and get out, leading you back to the ratty futon you use as a sorry excuse for a couch, sucking another huge hickey into your neck just above your collarbone, like he's claiming his territory.

Bjorn's refractory period is incredibly short, already getting hard again as he's toweling off, rearranging you on all fours, ass up face down, his palm flat between your shoulders blades, fingers spread out over your still wet skin while he hits it from the back.

“Good—ah, good boy. You're doing so good, fucking me so well,” you keen, a high and needy pitch when your words have the desired affect and he plows into you that much harder. Work is gonna absolutely fucking blow tomorrow but you don't give a shit about that either, hoping to feel that ache between your legs every time you have to bend down and retrieve something or pick up the drill after a regulated break, vividly recalling everything he did to you.

“Fuck ur pussy’s so addictin’ princess, can't get a ‘nough o’ it,” he growls, adding to the bruises he's already left on your thighs to your hips this time, the wet slap of skin and your moans echoing off the walls of your tiny apartment.

Your fingers claw at the sheetless mattress, trying to cling onto something as your orgasm slams into you like a freight train, the imprint of your wet naked body left behind for the cotton drill fabric to absorb.

Bjorn grunts when he comes again, nearly collapsing on top of you, his gloved cock still inside as he slowly softens, peppering little kisses all over your back.

“Fuckin’ amazin,’” he sighs, sharing your sentiment. You've both proven your hypothesis correct, both times were just as mind blowing as the first, maybe even better, your bodies in tune now that you know what the other likes, what gets each other off.

You hum in agreement, your heartbeat slowly returning to normal. “Gonna have to go to bed soon. You know, for work.”

He groans in annoyance, rolling off your body to lie next to you, loosely steepling his hands behind his sweaty head, “right—work.”

“What, did you forget?” You snort, crossing your arms to rest your cheek on your stacked wrists while you look at his profile, from his pretty lashes down to the plush of his lips. Sometimes you forget just how attractive he is.

“Yanno,” he says, making eye contact with you then, holding a warmth you've never seen before, affection blossoming inside your chest as a result, “fo’a moment—I did.”

“Oh,” is all you can say in response, burying your face directly into your arms so he can't see how pink your cheeks are. You're not used to this, someone being sweet on you, at least not someone you're actively sleeping with, everyone else just faceless nobodies you met at a bar or in a liquor store.

Bjorn fucks you one last time before he leaves, this time with you on your back so he can look you in the eyes while he pushes in slow and deep, so deep it feels like his cock is brushing up against your pelvis.

There's no dirty talk this time around, just Bjorn whispering hushed praises like, “ur so fuckin' stunning it's unreal” and “ur so good ta’ me, ma’ good girl.” Kissing over your chest, your neck, your face, every one of them feeling like a thank you, your heart feeling strange inside your chest.

It's so incredibly intimate and foreign, something you've never experienced before, his hand finding yours so he can weave your fingers together, holding it up by your head while he thrusts inside, taking his time in taking you apart.

He kisses you when you come together, no tongue, no desperation, just an endlessly soft press of his lips to yours, kissing your forehead as he pulls out, cleaning you up with a wet washcloth after you tell him where to find them, boneless and tired against your futon.

You exhale into the quiet air as soon as he leaves, gaze tracing over the ceiling, like you're searching for an answer that isn't there. What the absolute fuck have you gotten yourself into?

After that night, instead of blowing off steam in the mines, Bjorn blows his steam off on you, coming around every night to fuck you once, twice, sometimes three times if he's feeling particularly frisky, having gone through three and a half boxes of condoms. That's like 140 condoms. Jesus he's so fucking horny all the time.

It's to the point you give him your door code to avoid any unwanted questions if anyone passing by just happened to see him waiting alone on your doorstep, sometimes coming home to him already naked on your bed if his shift ends before yours or hustles down the short hallway to tackle you if yours ends before his.

It's supposed to be casual, just something you do to work through all the pent-up tension you build while tearing down the rock in the mines, a way for you to forget about it all if only for a few hours. You want it to stay like this, easy and uncomplicated, so you keep it a secret from the others, something Bjorn ultimately agrees to when you insist on it.

He seems displeased by your request which takes you by surprise, figuring he'd be just as on board with it as you are but he doesn't argue, just nods his head while looking up at your ceiling, settled back against your upright futon still fully-clothed, chewing his bottom lip between his teeth.

You decide not to pry, even though you really, really, want to, itching to pick his brain and decipher why he doesn't seem to like it but a part of you, the majority of you, doesn't want to know the answer, afraid of what it might be, so you just don't open that can of worms.

You're at a bar with everyone, knowing full well Bjorn will find his way into your bed soon after—like he always does. It's the only sure thing other than the zero percent chance of sunlight LV-410 gets.

It's been two months since you and Bjorn started fucking on the down low. Kay is waddling now, very, very round and puffy. It's cute, she has that pregnancy glow about her, especially since the group's been splitting her shifts up amongst everyone so she can kick her swollen ankles up and relax, something she is endlessly grateful for. Promising to name her baby boy after every single one of you, but you don't think, “Tyler Bjorn Navarro Rain,” followed by your name then Harrison makes for a very good one.

You're nursing your cold beer in your hands, knocking back another swig as Tyler goes on another long-winded speech about giving capitalism the middle finger if he wasn't a cog in it, already drunk.

“Whoa,” Navarro whistles, looking at the side of your neck, at the fresh hickey Bjorn gave you last night, sitting too high up to hide under the collar of your shirt, like this was his plan all along, “who gave you that?”

Everyone turns to look so you slap your palm over the purpling bruise, flinching at the slight sting. God you're getting sloppy, you should've told him to suck somewhere you could hide, that bastard. Now you're flaming red, the intensity of your blush and the way your floundering for an answer confirming their suspicion.

“Oooo,” Kay joins in, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively, giggling, “is there something you’re not telling us? Someone perhaps?”

“I uh—well. It's nothing. Just tripped is all,” you lie, very lamely you might add. It's too perfect and round to be anything other than what it is and no one's buying it, not even Andy. Andy.

“Yah n’ fell right into tha' jaws of a hungry shark,” Tyler cracks, slapping his knee over his own joke, like it's the funniest thing in the fucking world. It isn't, it really, really fucking isn't. You feel caught, like a fish in a casting net, out of breath and fighting for your life. This is the worst possible scenario, the absolute last thing you wanted to happen.

“Yah,” Bjorn smirks, torpedoing through all the noise, immediately lifting your head to glare at him, hand still over your neck, sending a flirty little wink your way, “why don’tcha share with tha’ class princess?”

“You’re the absolute last person I wanna fucking hear from jackass,” you seethe, biting his head clean off his shoulders, angry and embarrassed. He falters, picking up on your tone, looking sorry for saying anything. Good. He fucking should be. He isn't the one being grilled right now, even though he's the cause of it all.

“I gotta go,” you announce, rushing out of the bar despite everyone calling for you to come back. You'll never live this down, feeling like the talk of the town all over again, just like you were back in your old sector.

You don't let Bjorn leave hickeys on your neck anymore, making him swear that he won't do it again if he wants to keep fucking you so he obliges, apologizing between filthy, wet kisses which you appreciate.

No one asks you anything else about the guy you're sleeping with, aware that you'll just clam up and leave, which you appreciate even more, pretending like the whole bar incident didn't happen in the first place, denial your only way to cope.

Bjorn usually leaves after you're both fucked out and spent but then—then he starts to stay. Starts to hold you in his arms when you're done, tucking your hair behind your ear, kissing your scalp, telling you something along the lines of, “even assholes like me like a good cuddle every now n’ then.”

It's warm. Safe. Your head is pillowed against his chest, your ear pressed to his left pec, listening to the rhythmic sound of his heartbeat, the even rise and fall of his diaphragm. It's comforting, tangling your legs with his, feeling your eyelids grow heavy with exhaustion. You could stay like this forever, just you two.

But you don't want that. Can't want that. You've already allowed yourself to get close to people again but this—this is something else entirely, getting close to someone on an extremely intimate level like this. You're playing with fire and you know you could get burned at any moment. Will get burned. Emotions are the worst thing to have in a place like this, only producing pain when the inevitable happens, and it always, always does.

You just can't help but want to know how he's doing, if he's doing well, if he's thinking about you.

You don't just wanna see him at night when you're casually hooking up, you wanna see him in the morning too. Want to cook breakfast just for two and hold hands under the table while he makes fun of your terrible cooking but eats it anyway because you made it just for him. And you don't just wanna hold his hand in the privacy of your apartment, you wanna hold it when you're with the gang or walking around in general.

You wanna do stupid mundane shit with him like grocery shopping or folding laundry, washing dishes while he dries them or cuddling under the blankets while you enjoy a movie night, sitting in his lap or on the other side of the futon with your legs tangled in between while he tickles you even though you fucking hate being tickled. But you might not totally hate it if it's him.

And you wanna be greeted by him at the end of every night because these four walls are just a shitty space you reside in, you wanna come home to him.

Because Bjorn feels like home.

Your heart is so full and warm yet light and airy at the same time, like a swollen helium balloon wanting to float up and away into the atmosphere watching him sleep, a sort of peace on his face you don't get to see often.

Oh. Oh—fuck no, you think as the realization starts to sink in, utterly disbelieved that it's taken you this long to notice, to make sense of it.

You're falling for Bjorn.

#not to toot my own horn but i fkn ate this chapter up #enjoy the happiness while it lasts #bc I'm gonna break your heart in the next one >:)#bjorn alien romulus x reader #bjorn alien romulus fic #bjorn x reader #bjorn alien romulus #alien romulus #spike fearn

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wandascrush · 2 months ago

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Ambushed

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x f!reader, Natasha Romanoff x f!reader, Avengers x f!reader

Warnings: Fighting, injuries, punching, choking, ambushes, cursing

Part 3 to my DIWK series

Sick. Every morning you woke up sick. You should be used to it by now, being a double agent and all for a few months, but you never got over that distilled anxiety. Bottled up, saved for the quietness of your room at the end of the day. It settled like a cold, heavy, pit in your stomach. Too heavy to move or swallow, so it just sat with you.

You remember being in therapy a few years ago, having this pretty blonde stare across at you from the comfy-looking leather couch, tapping her pen against her gray slacks and bouncing knee. “And how does that make you feel?” Her voice was light as if it was a suggestion more than a question. “The same as it always does. There’s no flavor of the month for this thing, it’s the same every. single. day.” You groaned out the last word.

Therapy never worked for you anyway.

You couldn’t tell if it was an emotional thing or the fact that you slept with your therapists nearly every time, but it just wasn’t your vibe.

So now here you were, for one reason or another, gently knocking your head on the wall as you thought about the kiss(es) you shared with Agent Romanoff, and how her lips felt like the best place in the world. And also how stupid it was. How idiotic. Get semi-involved with someone on your team, especially when you’re a double agent. Sort of. More on that later.

You checked your watch, five minutes till go time, your first huge mission with the team. The stomping of boots in unison was all you focused on as you and the rest of the team boarded the Quinjet, strapping in and resting your head against the cold metal. You breathed out heavily, trying not to focus on the green-eyed witch sitting next to you, jaw clenched and obviously uncomfortable.

A few hours later the ship bumpily landed in a flower field, shaking everyone’s head a bit too much for comfort.

“Peter, Y/N, and Wanda- you two will take the North tower and get the hostages out from Cell blocks A-C.” Tony went down the list calling out different groups for the other 4 areas that needed to be covered. “Last but certainly not least, Romanoff and Rogers- you’re blessed with my presence on this mission.”

“Our fearless leader.” Steve groaned as he got up and walked out of the Quinjet.

Peter, shaggy brown hair, a nervous smile, and a spider suit on- that was the guy who was supposed to help defend you in case of an enemy ambush. And Wanda. Brown layered hair, bite with every word she said to you, and a red leather jacket- your other line of defense. Great. You might as well be fighting with your little brother considering the small age gap between you and Spidey. Truth is, you liked the kid. He had heart, and you felt bad for him too. Everyone treated him like a lost puppy, but you’ve seen him train. Peter’s definitely not as seasoned of a fighter as everyone else, but damn he did not give up.

Your group was supposed to clear out cell blocks A-C of an abandoned prison, supposedly harboring kidnapped engineers. You kicked the first exit door open, gun in hand and a flashlight being held by Peter right behind. Wanda trailed slightly behind you guys, ensuring no one snuck up from the back. The stairs cracked and groaned with each step, and cold metallic air whipped through the large facility. You crinkled your nose at the smell. Making it up the stairwell safely, you were met with the boring site of rusty old cells…and empty. You looked around, opening up the cells, peering in, and stepping out. Where the hell was everyone? “You guys might want to take a look at this,” Peter called out, sticking to one of the walls and pointing at a sealed door in the corner. Oh. Without being asked Wanda stuck one of her arms out, encompassing the sealed cement door with beautiful scarlet swirls causing it to crack, and shatter. Behind it was a pitch-black hallway.

You looked up at Peter, shrugging, “Ladies first, you’re up kid. Lead the way.”

He smiled…until he got the joke, “Sure Miss- wait what’s that supposed to mean?”

Wanda turned away to hide her smirk from you, covering it with a cough. “Don’t mind her, Peter. She thinks it's comedy hour.”

“Awh you think I’m funny witchy?”

“In your dreams, Y/N.”

Peter jumped down from his spot, taking a step forward into the hallway and flashing his light around. It seemed to go on forever the longer you three walked, with no turns or hidden rooms. Just a hallway. Huh.

Meanwhile, Tony, Nat, and Steve were walking the rest of the grounds exploring every nook and cranny. The last cell block, D, was pretty much empty too with light pouring in from the broken windows.

“It’s too quiet Tony.”

“Kinda nice right?”

“You completely missed my point on that, but okay. Quiet doesn’t mean empty it means-”

Steve cut in, “Hiding. Look at the door in the corner, it’s completely sealed off.” In an instant, Tony blasted it.

One thing you’d learn about Peter Parker was that he talked a lot when he was nervous.

“Did you know that the subways under NYC have been around for hundreds of years?”

Then you all heard it, the click-clack of slow but steady footsteps. You held your hand up, signaling silence and stopping your movements. The steps were out of sync and loud, not just one person but maybe two, or three.

Your steps got closer, their steps got closer, yours got closer, theirs got closer, yours got closer, theirs got-

“FUCK TONY!”

“FUCK WANDA!”

You all nearly shot each other to death thanks to your jumpscares. “I thought you were supposed to be in cell block D?” you asked him, quietly trying to stop the hum of your heart against your chest.

“We were, but this tunnel led us here.”

“Yeah, same with ours.”

Peter sat on the floor, arms resting on his knees, “Okay so we all made it here but- where are the hostages?”

“We were gonna ask you guys the same thing,” Tony scoffed. And in an instant, it dawned on all of you. Oh shit. “AMBUSH- GET OUT OF THE HALL!” You all started running towards the entrance your group came out of, everyone following behind you. The floors started rumbling and the overhead of planes could be heard above you. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. All of you ran out of the cell block, barely in time an earth shattering boom sounded. All of you were thrown at least 20 feet onto the cement, hitting your head and skidding. Blurriness filled your vision when you tried to get up, stumbling to your feet and falling back down. You looked around and your breathing was ragged, it felt like a fire had been set in your lungs. Everyone was down. Nat- thrown into a wall from the explosion. Out cold. Steve- barely waking up. Tony- banged up and crashed into the ground but slowly got back up. Wanda- right next to you with blood dripping down her forehead. And Peter- shit where’s Peter?

You heard him yell and when you turned around- there it was. An entire squad from HYDRA, at least 20 of them, marching towards you and the knocked-out Avengers. Peter, Steve, Tony, and yourself regrouped immediately. And standing there, smiling happily, was Samantha.

“Y’know, a simple explosion taking out the world's mightiest is really so disappointing. Kind of glad it didn’t work.” The leader of the group spoke first. You swore you saw his face before.

“I’m gonna guess there’s no hostages?,” Tony stepped forward, raising his arm and opening up the blasters.

”This should be fun.”

In moments, punches, kicks, and blasts were out in every direction. Peter already knocked five senseless, Steve was working on his set, and Tony was- well, Tony. Lots of blasting.Then came your turn, and taking out the four that had reached you was comfortable enough, aside from a few scrapes and the gentleman who attempted to pistol whip you. The real party came when Samantha stepped up to the plate, cracking her neck and taking her jacket off. “Y/L/N. We made this so easy for you, leave them in the cell block and you get out safely.”

“Yeah well, it would’ve been a lot easier if I had been aware of the fucking plan.”

“God, I’ve been waiting to do this for a long time,” she threw a right hook that cut you square in the jaw, and immediate pain exploded to your face. You tackled her to the ground, pinning her with your legs on each side of her waist, blow after blow to her face. Her nose was bleeding and she kicked you in the stomach. Samantha flipped you over and started pressing down on your throat, “I wish you had never come to Hydra- never come to take my fucking place.” Her grip tightened and you saw emptiness in her eyes.

You tried to dig your nails into her hands, desperately grabbing at skin or anything painful enough. “- stop. We’re on the same team,” you whispered, kicking at anything. Fuck- you couldn’t even flip her over with your legs as much as you kicked and squeezed. Your eyes started to go blurry once again and your head was pounding too much for you to think. Then webs attached themselves to either side of her waist, picking her up and slamming her against the farthest wall. Peter quickly jogged over to you, picking you up and letting you catch your breath.

“We need to keep moving, come on. They’re all gone.”

Everyone climbed inside the Quinjet after Peter webbed up all the HYDRA members, strapping them to the walls like Christmas ornaments. Natasha had woken up and was feeling fine, Wanda had woken up and fallen asleep on your shoulder accidentally. You tried to ignore the Black Widows' fiery gaze at the redhead who was asleep across from her, but the message was clear. Even though Wanda was a Grade-A asshole, some part of you felt bad for her. Maybe that was what compelled you to dampen a tissue with some water and gently clean the blood off of her forehead, or the way you checked her pulse every few hours.

A whole day later once every Avenger had rested up and healed their sore muscles, you heard a knock on your door. “Y/N, it’s me. It’s Wanda.” You opened the door to find her in a matching hoodie set, cluttered with the words “Screw off.” She dawned a small smile, moving past you and sitting on your bed without a word. Hi there. You sat next to her, conscientious of the space, and gently cleared your throat, “So, are you feeling better? You got hit pretty hard. ”

“A whole lot better, thanks to you. It was nice of you to take care of me,” her hand touched yours softly. A gentle smile played on your face.

“It’s what teammates do.”

Wanda gave you a silent nod. She glanced down at her lap as her expression changed. Apprehensive, she quietly spoke, “But I want you to know that I know. About you, your secret.” With that, she leaned down to your ear to whisper, “Sooner or later, everyone will know,” and left.

Oh.

#natasha romanoff angst #natasha romanoff fluff #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x female #natasha romanoff x fem!reader #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff angst #wanda maximoff fic #wanda maximoff fluff #wanda maximoff x fem!reader #wanda maximoff x female reader #natasha romanoff #wanda maximoff

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baldursgat3 · 1 year ago

Text

so like a week ago I saw a post I can't find again about the idea of like an elf Tav who had grown up with Astarion before Cazador

so here's 4.5k words of that

lightly nsfw but the pants stay on (except in my half finished drafts that I gave up on)

A hog ran out of the bushes and you felt a blade against your neck as the man bodied you to the ground. He hovered over you, dagger pressed to your throat as he leaned in close with a soft smile. "Not another sound. Not if you want to keep that darling neck of yours." This was the first time you really managed to get a good look at him. Still, it took you a moment to recognize him. He looked so much older than you remembered and his eyes were blood red. "Astarion?" He was clearly not expecting that. His eyes widened in confusion and panic before he pressed the dagger firmer against your neck, the tip drawing a prick of blood. "How in the hells do you know that?" He hissed. "Who are you?

You stumbled along the beach away from the illithid ship. Your head was pounding and you just wanted to lay down but this was not nearly the time or place. You had to get away from the crash site and, preferably, find a few other survivors to watch your back. The cleric you picked up was fine and all, but you didn't entirely trust her. You were certain you'd need more help than that anyway.

Corpses littered the surrounding area, of humans and mind flayers alike. Not much survived the falling, flaming debris. It wasn't hard to make out a voice over the crackling fires.

You jogged towards the voice, quickly spotting it's owner. A slender elf with white curls that were surprisingly neat for surviving the nautiloid wreck. "Quick! I've got one of those brain things cornered."

That voice was… familiar? Still, you couldn't quite place it and it didn't really matter. If you helped him kill the thing, perhaps you could convince him to join you.

You followed where he was pointing, sword in hand. Really, you should've known better. Or perhaps Shadowheart could've been quicker to alert you?

This was the first time you really managed to get a good look at him. Still, it took you a moment to recognize him. He looked so much older than you remembered and his eyes were blood red. "Astarion?"

He was clearly not expecting that. His eyes widened in confusion and panic before he pressed the dagger firmer against your neck, the tip drawing a prick of blood. "How in the hells do you know that?" He hissed. "Who are you?

"You- you died…?" It didn't make sense. You saw them bury his body and everything.

His eyes flicked back and forth, studying your face. You wouldn't be upset if he didn't recognize you, but you weren't exactly sure how you would talk your way out of this in that case.

Fortunately, you wouldn't have to find out. You saw the moment it hit him as he jerked his dagger away from your neck, scrambling to get off of you. "It… can't be. Of all the people… you." He laughed bitterly, stowing the dagger.

Honestly, you weren't exactly sure how to respond to this situation. You couldn't even tell if he was happy to see you or not. So you decided to press on the most concerning issue still. "You died. I went to your funeral, Astarion. What… happened to you?"

You were nearly the same age, you'd grown up together in his family's estate. Your parents were hired hands and you served as a live-in friend for their reclusive son. He was only a few months older than you, so why did he look so much older? So much paler, more exhausted than someone your age ought to be.

On top of it he still looked fucking fantastic. Gods you hated how effortlessly beautiful he was.

His gaze darted between you and Shadowheart, anxiously weighing his options. "Ah, yes, well. You know how it goes, surrounded by adoration and opulence. It all gets to be too much, you fake your death, you flee the country. Standard business really."

That definitely wasn't the truth but clearly he wasn't about to share it in front of Shadowheart. It hurt, finding him like this, though. You were so close as children. It had gotten a little harder as you grew up but you always kept in contact. But he let you think he was dead for 200 years anyway? "Right. Of course. Well. Care to join us?"

~*~*~

It's not like you were still in mourning or anything. He had been a good friend for so long, at times even your best friend, but two hundred years was enough time for you to move on.

You had thought about him from time to time. Fondly remembering stories from your past that would turn into a quiet sadness for the life that was taken from him.

They never had an answer for what had happened to him. He had been murdered, you knew that much. No one ever said how or why, though. Magistrate's weren't exactly beloved and his family held a high enough title there was always the vague threat of assassinations but Astarion seemed like such a strange target.

It was compounded by the fact that nothing ever came of it. No one was ever caught, no political move was made on his grieving family. You would think maybe he'd been jumped, but nothing had been taken from him. Honestly, you never expected to get an answer. Certainly not from the dead man himself.

The two of you were sat in his tent, it had been a few days but what a wild few days they were. Tomorrow you would set out to level the goblin camp but tonight you were going to talk.

"I'm sorry." He started. It kind of surprised you, really. You had been learning over the past few days that the man you had once known was all but gone. The Astarion in front of you now was always bitter and irritated with half the things you did.

"Astarion I swear to Kelemvor, it is not naïve to rescue a twelve year old from a crazy lady with a snake for 'no reason.' The reason is rescuing the twelve year old from a snake."

"Where did you go? What happened to you?" The apology was nice but really, you just wanted answers. "Why didn't you tell me?"

He sighed, leaning forward to rest his arms on his knees. His eyes were fixed on the ground between the two of you and he looked so… sad. "I thought about it, about finding you. At first and, only for a moment."

Well that didn't really clear anything up, all right. You kept quiet though, you were smart enough to know when not to push.

"You want the truth? I was captured. Kidnapped by an evil man who turned me into a monster and forced me to do his bidding. I couldn't have told you. I- I didn't want to get anywhere near you. Not like this."

A picture was beginning to come into focus. Honestly, there had been enough pieces that you had already begun to wonder. "You're a vampire."

"A spawn, yes." He practically spat the word out, scowling at the ground. "He turned me into his little pet. I was to go out and catch him the most beautiful souls I could find for him to feast on. All the while I was starved and tortured just for his amusement."

"Astarion…"

"I don't want your pity. I mean - I do, sort of but- ugh…" He rolled his eyes, leaning back. "You've made this all extremely complicated."

"Why didn't you ever try to find me? I would've helped, I could've tried to get you out of there."

"I… well I couldn't." He glanced up at you, a sad smile crossing his lips. "You would've tried, certainly. And I would've watched him kill you as punishment I'm sure. No, it's quite all right." He waved a hand dismissively, as a perfect, easy grin spread across his face.

You couldn't exactly argue. It's not like you had any idea what you would've been up against. Still, your blood boiled at the very idea of what he must've gone through in your centuries apart. "Well, you're safe right now, anyway."

His face softened at your words, seeming to relax into the very idea of your protection. "I am, aren't I? How strange." His head cocked to the side, an almost calculating look crossing his face. "Would you… care to stay the night?"

~*~*~

You had always had a sort of off and on crush on Astarion, growing up. When you were very small he had told your parents that the two of you were already married, obviously.

As you got older, you had been sidelined pretty hard as the best friend and you took it with grace. You had plenty of other people who caught your eye and it was nice to always have someone you trusted to be there.

There was that one time that he had drunkenly wept into your arms about being the only person he would ever truly love. It would've meant more had he not just gotten his heart broken hours prior, but it did rekindle an old spark in your heart for a solid year.

The two of you had drifted apart as your social circles moved in opposite directions. You never connected with the upper class, he wouldn't be seen with the rabble. You always kept in touch but, by the time he was murdered captured, you were struggling to keep up with your monthly nights out at the Elfsong.

Right now, though, in this moment? You felt as though you couldn't possibly be closer to another person if you'd wished for it.

Astarion had practically crawled on top of you in his effort to kiss you. One of his hands was tangled in your hair while the other rested firmly against the small of your back. He was colder than you were used to but that wasn't unwelcome. Instead it just sent shivers through your entire body with every touch.

You slowly lowered yourself down to your elbows as he leaned further into you, chasing this kiss like he needed it to survive. The hand in your hair held you firmly against him, not that you had any intention of going anywhere.

His tongue slipped into your mouth, pulling a pitiful little noise out of your throat. He let out a small breath of a laugh as his fingers began to slowly tug your shirt out of your pants. Every move was so delicate and effortless on his part. Gods he was flawless.

He freed your shirt from the prison that was your waistband, pulling back just far enough to whisper a soft "May I?" against your lips.

You couldn't help the grin that spread across your face as you blinked up at him. "Only if you return the favor."

"Gladly." A devilish smile crossed his lips as he pulled back, taking your top with him. A moment later, he had his own pulled over his head and both were recklessly discarded.

One of his hands found it's way to your back again. You couldn't help the way you jumped as his icy fingers made contact with your bare skin. His other hand came up to cup your jaw, ever so gently applying just a bit of pressure. Just enough to encourage you to lay back underneath him as he pressed your lips together again.

You went so easily, he was so gentle and sweet and he tasted like vanilla and ever so slightly like copper. He was intoxicating.

Once he had you on your back, his hands began to wander. They trailed ever so delicately over your chest, lighting a fire inside of you as they went. Your own hands were so much more inexperienced. One helplessly pressed flat against his back, the other unwilling to pull away from his curls for even a moment.

He didn't seem to be bothered by how little you were really helping. His hands continued tenderly mapping your body as his kisses began to trail away from your mouth, along your jawline.

You let out a small gasp as his kiss trailed down to your neck and you felt him pull back, just a bit, just enough to look at you. "Now… it is just a thought… it's just that, well, some people are into biting."

"Are you asking if you can drink my blood?"

"Well, only if the answer is yes."

You gently brushed your hand through his mess of curls as you pondered this. "What would it… do?"

"To you? Not much. A bit of dizziness perhaps, nothing out of the ordinary for some good old fashioned blood loss. But for me? I've been living off rats and wild boar for decades. Just a sip from someone as decadent as yourself could probably give me the power of the sun."

You couldn't help but laugh at the blatant flirting, but damn if it wasn't working. "Maybe a bit exaggerated," he continued "But it would make me feel stronger. I could fight better, think clearer. You don't have to-"

"Go for it."

"Oh. Shit really? I still had a whole monologue about not feeling pressured."

"Getting less sexy by the second, Ancunín."

"Gods, shut up." He rolled his eyes, pressing his lips back to yours as you giggled.

You could feel his anticipation now, though. He kissed you just long enough to push you back into the right headspace before his attention turned back to your neck.

He lingered there longer than you expected, tenderly covering you with his kisses. Then, without warning, he pulled back and his gentle lips were replaced by an acute sting as his fangs sunk into one of your veins.

It was a unique feeling, you could say that. You'd been stabbed before but this was different. It was cold. Like the first snow of winter, dark and freezing but glittering like crystals in the moonlight. You heard yourself gasp and felt your body arch up into him as your head tipped back for him.

You could've easily lost yourself in the feeling, just basking in this closeness you had with someone who was so dear to you. You had just enough awareness to feel the dizzy, light headed bliss start to tip towards darkness.

Your grip on his hair tightened, gently trying to tug him back before he got carried away. "Astarion…"

He only let out a gentle moan before seeming to catch himself, quickly pulling away with a small gasp. "Gods…" he wiped away the small trickle of your blood that had escaped his lips, licking it from his fingers as you stared up at him, slack jawed.

"I couldn't have wished for a finer vintage." He crooned as he ducked his head back down to clean the blood from your neck.

Gods, he had your heart about bursting out of your chest. His hands started to wander again as his mouth continued it's assault on your neck. Every touch was so careful and perfect, each one sending sparks flying through you.

He cupped one hand around your neck, gently applying a bit of pressure to stop the bleeding as his mouth moved back to yours. "You're gorgeous, you know? I've always thought so."

You were obsessed already. He was intoxicating, the way his touch felt against your skin, the way his honey sweet words pierced your heart. There was an old version of you that had dreamed of just having him like this.

Here you were, pampered and loved by a man you had adored for so long. Gods, you really never thought you would ever see him again, let alone have his hand down your pants like this. In this moment, the world was nearly perfect. The only thing that mattered to you now was making this boy yours.

~*~*~

You woke up in the morning, a bit sore, a bit disoriented, and very alone. It took a moment to remember why you were in a strange tent. Another moment for you to realize Astarion was gone. You couldn't help the disappointment that bloomed in your chest at that thought. You couldn't blame him, exactly. It's not like the two of you were a thing. Still, it would've been nice to wake up beside him.

You sighed softly, quietly getting dressed in the still morning chill. It felt like early morning, the golden light filtering into the tent and lack of noise from your companions clued you in. Maybe Astarion had run off to feed before the rest of the camp woke up. Maybe he'd hoped to be back before you had gotten up?

No such luck. You pushed open the tent flap to find your vampire quietly staring at the dim embers of your campfire. You had to bite back another sigh as you stepped forward, apparently making enough noise to draw his attention.

His neck whipped around, though he relaxed instantly once he located the source of the sound he'd heard. "You're up early." He said, quietly, turning back to the fire.

"I could say the same."

"I'm always the first one awake." You could hear the eye roll in his voice.

You stepped forward, moving to sit beside him with a small, awkward smile. "And you just had to get away from me?" Don't freak him out, play it cool. You weren't disappointed at all.

He didn't seem to find it funny, though. He just drew his knees up closer to his chest. "I told you. You made things… complicated."

That was weird. Honestly, you had no idea what he meant. "I'm sorry?"

"Not your fault." His voice was flat and unreadable. He'd really changed so much since you last saw him. It made sense but that didn't stop it from hurting.

You missed the man you used to know. Snarky and a bit full of himself. But also shy and awkward and comforting. You recognized many of his old mannerisms but they'd changed. He was bitter, focused on how to protect himself above all else. It made him violent and trigger happy in a way you weren't used to. Quite frankly, it was a little scary sometimes, the amount of joy he took in violence.

"Can I help?" It was all you had really. You couldn't change what had happened to him. All you could do now was try to help.

"Can you help? Sure. If you could just�� go back in time, stop yourself from finding me after the nautiloid and let me carry on my merry way, presumably to be murdered by the first person I annoy too much."

"Okay, well, I'm not sure I can do that." You couldn't read him, no matter how hard you tried. "Did I… do something wrong?"

"No, gods, no." He curled up tighter. He looked so… vulnerable. He never did vulnerable. Especially not now. "You're perfect. That's the problem. You made it complicated."

"Astarion, I don't understand."

He sighed, finally turning his head to throw you a small, tired look. "I know. Hells…" You could see the confliction writing itself across his face. "I want to tell you something but you have to swear that you won't hate me for it, I mean it. It's not good, but you cannot hate me."

"I've never hated you, Star." Maybe the nickname was a bad idea. You practically saw it stab him directly through the chest, forcing him to turn away for a moment to collect himself.

He couldn't look you in the eye again, he just stared off to the distance in any other direction. "I know. I mean it though, promise me, please."

"All right." What could he possibly tell you that was worse than 'I spent two hundred years forced to kidnap people to be killed by my master.' "I promise. I won't hate you, no matter what."

You saw him relax a bit, his shoulders loosening. He turned back, just enough to glance at you out of the corner of his eye. "I… Last night, that- it…" It was so rare that he struggled to find his words.

He took another breath, trying to collect himself before turning back to the fire. "I was just… using you. I wish I could say I didn't mean to but- gods, I did. I pushed it that way on purpose. Its all… part of the plan, you know? Seduce you, sleep with you, secure my safety and position in the group with you. It was… easy."

Oh. Well that wasn't exactly great to hear. He was still trying to collect himself, find the right words. You didn't want to interrupt and, honestly, you didn't really know what to say.

"I didn't think about it, I just… did it. Like I had to. I needed to. And by the time my head caught up it was too late. You were already into it, I couldn't just stop."

"What?"

"I mean," He continued quickly, seemingly trying to get ahead of your presumed anger. "It's not like it wasn't good, it's not like I don't… care about you. It's just, it was an instinct. I think."

"Astarion-"

"Please, you have to understand-"

"No, no, stop. Hold on." You saw the panic in his eyes as you interrupted. "Astarion did you not… want to do that?"

The look he gave you was, honestly, almost a little pitiful. "Like I said, you've made this complicated. I don't know. I don't know what I want."

You turned your attention away from him, towards the dying fire in front of you, pausing for a moment to collect your thoughts. "I wish you hadn't done that to yourself." He was right. This was complicated.

He wasn't the same person you had grown up with. Whatever had been done to him had clearly changed him fundamentally as a person.

But, still, you couldn't look at him without seeing your old friend. It was still the same laugh you had known. Still the same smile. You saw it, when you agreed to help the tieflings, the way he cocked his hip out and rolled his eyes. His little mannerisms that still lingered after all this time. He might not be the same man you had known, but you loved him anyway.

"I don't know what happened to you," you continued before he could get defensive. "I don't know what made you feel like you had to go to such extremes just to win affections you've had since we were children."

You saw some kind of spark in his eyes. It was so difficult to read him now, you wanted to get better at that. "I'm… sorry." He sounded so unsure. Honestly, you didn't care for it, he was always so confident. Now, though, he just looked… sad, maybe?

"You don't have to apologize. Astarion," You carefully reached a hand out to cover one of his. "The first thing you did when you saw me was put a dagger to my throat, and I still would've tossed Shadowheart into the ocean if you'd asked me to."

That pulled a startled laugh out of him that you briefly worried might've woken up your companions. Gods you really would do just about anything to see him smile. "You would not have. You're too much of a goody two shoes."

"Maybe." You grinned, giving his hand the smallest squeeze. "Still. I'm just sorry you felt like you had to go that far for my affection."

"I'm not the man you used to know, I'm not blind. I don't know who he was anymore. Up till now, I think I'd forgotten my own parents' faces. But you look at me like you expect me to be him and I don't know how. I can't be what you expect, at least if I could keep your bed warm you'd have reason to keep me around."

"Astarion…" Your hand tightened around his as you scooted just a bit closer. "I was sitting in the Elfsong, a long time ago. At 'our' table, you know? I was waiting for you to meet me and I grabbed a day old copy of the Gazette to read while I waited.

"I didn't even notice at first. There was a headline for one of the articles, 'Magistrate Murdered', but I didn't notice until I got closer to it. I saw your name and it was like the roof caved in over me. I was sitting there, waiting for you to show up, and a shitty, ale stained piece of parchment told me you never would."

You looked up at him with a sad smile before continuing quickly, trying to stay ahead of the guilt you were sure was creeping up in him. "I cried for months over you. And for years after when something reminded me too much of you. Star, neither of us are the same person we left behind, it's been two hundred years. I've been through plenty, and you've been through hell. That's not what matters though."

He looked so small right now. He was nervous and upset and vulnerable. You hated it, you didn't want him to be so anxious with you, gods you wanted him to trust you. "What matters is right now. We're here together. That's so much more than I ever could've dreamed just a month ago. You don't have to earn my trust and love again. And you certain don't have to force yourself to have sex with me to do it. I never stopped loving you, Astarion."

He was still for a moment, his eyes flicking over your face, scanning you for ill intent. You watched him cycle through a dozen emotions as he processed what you were saying. Then, almost like a switch flipped, he just melted.

With a choked out sob, he collapsed into you. You wrapped your arms around him as he curled into a ball, practically in your lap. His whole body shook as he quietly cried into your chest. You really did hate seeing him cry but you could feel the tension lifting from his shoulders as you held him tight.

You let a silent prayer fly to whichever god was keeping your friends asleep through this, asking them to keep up the good work. The last thing he needed right now was everyone else seeing him like this, you knew how much he wanted to keep up appearances.

Ever so gently, you lifted a hand to card your fingers through his curls. He curled up just a bit tighter, leaned into you just a bit more. It had been so, so long since the two of you had been this close. You really, truly never wanted it to end.

Eventually, though, he pulled back with an awkward laugh and a hasty scrub of his face. He didn't go far, just enough to sit back and look at you. "Gods… well. That was sexy."

You rolled your eyes, throwing him a soft grin. "You're ridiculous, Star. Come on, everyone'll be up soon. Big day, you know? Let's go kill some fucking goblins."

#bg3 #astarion #astarion x reader #astarion x tav

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ladykailitha · 2 months ago

Text

Around the World Part 2

Hello and welcome to the second chapter of this lovely fic. We have all sorts of thrills for you on this one.

A ghost town, a haunted B&B, and Gaming Con Salt Lake City.

Did I spend too much time in Utah? Oh no doubt, but I am a Utah girlie born and bred and I know a bit more about it then anywhere else.

Part 1

At breakfast in the little nook the B&B provided for them to eat, Robin was eyeing Eddie and Steve suspiciously.

“I can’t believe you two actually went to bed after we parted for the night,” she huffed. “I was expecting at least some vigorous exercise, if you know what I mean.”

But before either of them could reply, one of the owners came over and tutted at Steve. She was an elderly woman with frizzy hair and half moon glasses. “Do you like to exercise, young man?”

Steve pursed his lips to avoid laughing in his hostess’s face and nodded. “I usually like to go for a run in the morning, but I’m on vacation.” He kicked Robin’s shin for good measure.

“I understand, dear,” she said patting his shoulder. “When we make a habit of something our friends can be a little shocked when we take a break.” She wandered back into the kitchen to get more coffee.

“Did you forget that Eddie and I aren’t supposed to be a couple?” Steve hissed. “It’s a good thing she missed the double entendre otherwise you might have gotten us kicked out.”

Robin threw herself against the back of the chair with a huff and crossed her arms. She looked away and Chrissy whispered to her for a bit while Steve and Eddie ate their food.

“Sorry.”

Suddenly there was a crash and the woman started screaming. “George! She’s done it again! Either she goes or I do!”

Their whole table went silent but everyone around kept going about their business like this happened all the time.

Steve asked a nearby table what that was all about.

“That’s Nessie Thomas,” the man explained. “She’s been haunting this house since she died of the Spanish Flu in 1918. She doesn’t like the way Emma does her eggs and will pull the pans off the shelf to express her displeasure.”

Steve and Robin looked at each other and then started shoveling food in their mouths. Chrissy raised an eyebrow at Eddie in askance.

“Soulmate telepathy,” he said with a shrug. “I think basically, they want to get out of here as fast as possible before the ghost starts throwing something more dangerous than pans.”

Chrissy tilted her head and there was another crash and more screaming from the kitchen.

Her eyes widened and she too started hurrying to finish her breakfast.

“That’s it! George you can have the witch!” Emma screamed. She stomped out of the kitchen and threw her apron on the floor on her way out the door.

Eddie turned to the guy who had told them about the ghost. “Is that normal, too?”

The guy laughed. “Sure is. About once a month Emma declares she’s done and then after two or three days of George nearly running this place into the ground, she comes back with a shit ton of garlic, a bowl of salt, and a crucifix or three.”

That was when Eddie started to hurry up with breakfast. Ghosts were fine, but weaponized incompetence was where he drew the line.

They made it out to their roomy SUV Eddie had rent for their tour of America’s haunted places. They would return it in New Hampshire after touring all the HH Holmes sites, in Pennsylvania for his grave site, Vermont for where he fell the police, and finally New Hampshire for his birthday place. They would see other sites in between in Pennsylvania and New York.

Their final stop was Boston where they would take a flight to Queenstown in Ireland where they would begin their tour of Europe’s haunted places as New Hampshire didn’t have any international flights. So they would take a flight down to Massachusetts, see Salem and the birth place of Edgar Allen Poe and then fly out to Ireland.

Their next stop was Brodie, CA. A ghost town from the Gold rush that mysteriously burned down in the 1930s.

“It’s so creepy,” Robin said as they walked through the town, everything just as people left it all those years ago.

Suddenly there was a large bang and both Eddie and Robin grabbed Steve’s hands, one each, while Chrissy, clutched Eddie’s free arm, burying her face into it.

Steve smiled but wisely said nothing when they wanted to continue, but did not want to let go of his hands. He found the place more sad than creepy. These people thought they were going to get rich and suddenly everything went horribly wrong.

They made it back to the car, his koalas still firmly attached.

“You don’t think there were like, actual ghosts,” Robin asked, “do you?”

Steve merely pursed his lips as the three of them went off on all sorts of theories for the phenomena that went on in that town. From natural gases, to wind, to actual ghosts. They hadn’t reached a consensus by the time Steve hit the freeway.

They traveled all over the west and were a little disappointed when the got to Utah and found that Skinwalker Ranch didn’t allow visitors.

“That’s lame,” Chrissy said at the cafe they stopped in after seeing the “no trespassing” signs. “I really wanted to get a closer look at that one.”

A nearby local snorted. “It’s ‘cause they’re filming another season of that show right now. You just came at the wrong time.”

Robin sunk down in bench of their booth and crossed her arms with a pout. “That sucks.”

“There’s always Blind Frog Ranch,” the local suggested. “It’s near here, and you can even book tours.”

Eddie pulled out his phone and within minutes the girls and Eddie had booked a tour while Steve talked to the local. His name was Cary and he had lived in the area his whole life.

“Blind Frog isn’t as famous,” Cary told Steve, “but it’s still a pretty good haunt if you like that sort of thing.”

“Sounds right up our alley,” Steve agreed. “We’ve spent a good couple of days in Vegas at the Monster Museum and Museum of Illusions as well as a couple of others thrown in for fun.”

“You taking in as many sites as you can?”

Steve nodded. “We can do whatever we want as long as we are in Boston for our flight to Ireland in three weeks time.”

“You’re pretty slow going,” Cary said. “You’ve only made it through a third of the country.”

“Yeah,” Steve said, pulling out their map of places they wanted to see. “But we’re from the Midwest and are already familiar with those sites, so we’ll be breezing past those.”

Cary nodded. He pointed to a place on the map. “That there is Fall River. That’s where the Lizzy Borden house is. It’s a bed and breakfast. My niece stayed out there when she was in the state for Halloween in Salem.”

Steve circled it and put a little number on it and then made a note on the side what that was.

“Hey, Eds?” Steve called over his shoulder.

“Yeah?”

“Be sure to book us in the Lizzy Borden B&B.”

Robin and Chrissy shared shocked but excited glances and they bent over Eddie’s phone yet again. This time for a B&B in Massachusetts.

Steve thanked Cary and went back to his table, map firmly in hand.

“Well,” Chrissy said brightly. “It wasn’t a complete wash.” She turned around to where Cary had been sitting to thank him but he had vanished.

The trip to Blind Frog was as fun as Cary said it was going to be. They asked around but there hadn’t been a Cary around town for a long time.

“Did–was he–he couldn’t have,” Eddie said, his eyes wide, “could he?”

“You’re asking me if there is a thing as ghosts?” Steve asked his hands on his hips. “Because if you are, we are going home this instant. If you can’t handle a friendly one, you aren’t going to fair well in Europe.”

Robin and Chrissy shared a glance and Robin crossed her arms. “And just how would you know?”

Steve pinched the bridge of his nose and looked down, pained. He looked upwards and nodded to himself as he fought to control his temper. Because even Eddie was looking confused.

“Did you people forget that I had wealthy parents that before I came out as bi,” he said tersely, “took me with them on vacations. Vacations to Europe, Cancun, The Bahamas, Australia?”

Chrissy raised her hand. “Like I didn’t know that. But probably should have guessed,” she explained as Eddie and Robin looked a tad chagrin and refused to look Steve in the eye.

“She’s excused.” He turned to his best friend and his boyfriend. “So what about you too?”

“Sorry, Stevie,” Eddie murmured. “I guess I did forget that you’ve done this sort of thing before.”

“Yeah,” Robin said softly. “I was just thinking about travel in terms of before stardom and after. And before was when you met me and not, you know the previous eighteen years before that.”

“So are we okay with ghosties?” Steve asked, tilting his head forward and to the side.

All three of them nodded.

“Good,” he replied rubbing his hands together, “I hear the McCune Mansion in Salt Lake is extra haunted.”

They pulled up to the mansion and out front was a Mystery Machine, a 1967 Chevy Impala, and an Echo 1 in the parking lot.

Steve licked his lips slowly. “Uh, hey guys? How do we feel about skipping this one and moving on to the next one?”

“Baby,” Eddie cooed, “I’d be very grateful to you if you did just that.”

“We can still say we’ve been here,” Chrissy hedged from the back seat. “We just don’t have to go in.”

Robin sat in silence for a moment. “Whatever is happening inside that house is way above our level to handle. All in favor of moving to the next creepy thing say ‘aye’?”

Everyone said “Aye!” and Steve pulled slowly out of the parking lot.

They pulled into a pizza place just off the nearby university campus called The Pie for some really good pizza and great atmosphere. Eddie fell immediately in love with all weird decor and graffiti everywhere.

They were also amazed that everyone was in costumes of some sort.

“What’s going on?” Robin asked their waitress when she brought them the largest pizza they had ever seen in their lives.

“Local gaming convention this weekend,” she said. “I don’t know how they can stand the heat with all those layers. I would have passed out before noon.”

Eddie began to vibrate. “Guys, guys... can we go? Pleeaassse!”

Steve and Chrissy shared a glance. Eddie was sure to get recognized if they did.

“Fuck, yeah. Let’s go,” Robin said, slamming her hand on the table.

Steve jumped and looked her in the eye. She tilted her head to the side and smirked. He blinked, furrowing his brow. She wagged her eyebrows. He cocked his head to the side and tapped his lips thoughtfully. She leaned forward expectantly. He threw his arms up in the air in resignation.

“Yes!” Robin crowed. “I win!”

Chrissy blinked in confusion. “Was there a conversation in that? Because I must of have missed something if there was.”

“Soulmate telepathy,” Eddie explained solemnly. “It’s rare to see that pronounced though. Usually it’s more subtle.”

With a sigh Chrissy pulled out her phone and after a bit of searching and some phone tag was able to get ahold of convention management. “Yes, I’m a completely serious. I’m just giving you a head’s up because if a single fan tags his location you might get more fans at your convention than the fire marshals will allow.”

Eddie grimaced. “Oops. I forgot I was that level of famous.”

“So?” Robin huffed. “You should still be able to go out and have fun if you want to. Just pull your hair up in a ponytail and wear a hat and sunglasses. You can tell people you’re Bucky Barnes.”

Steve huffed out a laugh. “If he’s Bucky, who does that make me? I’m not blond enough for Steve Rogers, though Chrissy could absolutely pull on ‘End Game’ Natasha.”

Chrissy bowed to the best of her ability sitting down. “Why thank you!”

“Robbie could be Carol Danvers!” Eddie crowed. “It’d be awesome!”

They started throwing out ideas like Tony Stark or Clint Barton, but none of them really fit Steve.

Then Robin hit on the perfect idea. “Hey, Steve, did you bring your glasses with you?”

“Yeah,” Steve said slowly. “I can’t wear my contacts when I get my migraines, why?”

Robin just grinned.

Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9

Tag List: ONE SLOT AVAILABLE

1- @mira-jadeamethyst @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @zerokrox-blog

2- @gregre369 @a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @val-from-lawrence

3- @goodolefashionedloverboi @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog @irregular-child @blondie1006

4- @yikes-a-bee @bookworm0690 @anne-bennett-cosplayer @awkwardgravity1 @littlewildflowerkitten

5- @genderless-spoon @y4r3luv @dragonmama76 @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt

6- @disrespectedgoatman @dawners @thespaceantwhowrites @tinyplanet95 @garden-of-gay

7- @iamthehybrid @croatoan-like-its-hot @papergrenade @cryptid-system @counting-dollars-counting-stars

8- @ravenfrog @w1ll0wtr33 @child-of-cthulhu @kultiras @dreamercec

9- @machete-inventory-manager @useless-nb-bisexual @stripey82 @dotdot-wierdlife @kal-ology

10- @sadisticaltarts @urkadop @chameleonhair @clockworkballerina

#my writing #stranger things #steddie #ladykailtiha writes #rockstar eddie munson #rockstar steve harrington #rockstar au #haunted places

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jazzthatonewriterchick · 10 months ago

Text

How To Be Good 🐈‍⬛ (Dom!Nanami x sub!Self-Insert!Reader Pet Play 18+ One Shot)

Art by "bureichi" on Twitter

**********

"You wanna be a good kitty for me tonight?"

Pairing: Kento Nanami x Self-Insert!Reader

Synopsis: In which Nanami has to give you some lessons on being an obedient little kitty and behaving yourself when you’re alone when you keep sending him videos to his phone while he is at work.

Warnings: Smutty Smut; 18+ (MINORS GTFO); Reader is Black, Fem & a Self-Insert; Pet Play; Dom/sub Dynamics; Brat Taming; Master Kink; Mutual Oral; Deepthroat; Facefucking; Spanking; Collaring; Nanami Fucks You Till You Cry; Cum Play; Unprotected PIV Sex; Doggystyle; Missionary; Unprotected Creampie; Aftercare

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters mentioned in this fic. However, as this is my writing, I do not give permission for my work to be reposted on any other sites that are not from my own accounts. Thank you!

Writer's Note: This is another request fill for my favorite reader & VA @curiouscutie143! Thank you for always trusting me to write your fantasies & believing in my talent. Enjoy! -Jazz 🩷🩷

*********

As soon as you hear the door unlock with a click, the alarm system already disabled, your body comes to life.

Your heart races in your chest, your blood grows hot, and you feel as if you’ve just stepped into a pit of lava with how warm you feel despite your man’s button-down shirt draped over your plump, semi-naked body.

You sit up in your queen-sized bed and immediately look at the bedroom door. You hear his footsteps stomping across the hardwood floor; his car keys jingling as he puts them in the ceramic bowl next to the door where you also hold yours; the buttons and zipper to his wool coat as he takes it off.

Then he speaks: “Honey,” he calls in his deep, velvety voice, “I’m home.” You find your voice and answer him, calling, “I’m upstairs, baby!” from your shared bedroom.

Quickly, you check the bed to make sure everything is hidden from your time here and fix the shirt draped over your body. You usually toss on one of his shirts when you happen to be home when he isn’t here.

Today, you were off from work, so you tossed one of his button-downs, loving the way it feels on your skin and how much bigger it is on you, making you feel like you’re wearing a dress.

You don’t have time to check your hair which cascades down your back in messy curls before he comes up the steps and appears in the doorway.

No matter how many times you see Nanami, you’ll always be taken aback by how sexy he is: tall and broad; trimmed blonde hair in an undercut that makes him look more sophisticated; a sharp chin and cheekbones. Even under his shades, his look still steals your breath away.

He comes in still wearing his work suit and shoes, placing his briefcase and phone on the floor by the door. “Baby,” you say with a smile. Immediately, you slide off of the bed and meet him halfway with a hug. “Welcome home. How was work?”

He wraps his long, muscular arms around you, enveloping you in the scent of his cologne. “Oh, it went well,” he replies, his chest rumbling against your cheek. “Thank you for asking. How was your day?”

He peers his head down at you, so much taller and bigger than you. You just love big men who make you feel small despite your size. Nanami is definitely one of them.

“Pretty good!” you chirp. “After I came back from the gym, I came back here and chilled. I missed you though.”

You pull away to look up at him, nearly getting whiplash from how tall he is. He takes his glasses off and peers down at you, those eyes filling you with warm tingles and sensations.

“Mmm-hmm, I can tell,” he replies, his gaze roaming over your fame in his shirt. “What else did you do today while I was gone?”

You pause, thinking back to all the things you did during your day off. Anything to play innocent. “Um…cleaned, did laundry, went grocery shopping, and…oh, I made dinner! Chicken karaage and brown rice with your favorite sake.”

You give him a warm, loving smile. Though he doesn’t return it, his hand lovingly strokes your cheek, making your stomach flip. “Thank you, darling. I’ll have some of that later…but back to your day. What else did you do while I was at work?”

Your smile fades then. His expression doesn’t change and he doesn’t tear his eyes away from yours. “I…don’t know,” you reply though weakly.

Nanami’s blonde brow quirks at your answer. “You don’t know,” he parrots. You slowly shake your head. You both know that you’re lying straight through your teeth. “You didn’t send me any messages while I was at work? Any texts or videos?”

You can feel heat wash over your entire body. You’ve been caught. But still, you try to play the part of the clueless, loving girlfriend. It is part of the game that you and your boyfriend play. He knows what you’re looking for and he is counting on it.

“What kind of texts and videos?” you ask, still playing innocent but you can slowly feel that facade peeling away the more intense Nanami’s gaze becomes.

His hand moves down to your chin, firmly gripping it, emitting a gasp from you.

“I think you and I both know what kind of texts and videos you sent me today, Y/N,” he firmly says. “Very not-so-nice texts and videos. Videos of you touching yourself and moaning like a little slut wearing those damn cat ears.”

You swallow harshly, your heart beating madly now. “Where are they now?” he curiously asks.

You lick your lips which have become dry, briefly wondering if you should lie. But you know that this will only get you in even more trouble. “U-Under the pillow,” you weakly confess.

He releases you and strides over to the bed, leaving you feeling hot all over. When he moves one of the pillows aside, he shakes his head. There, settled on the mattress, is a headband of two black ears and a pink dildo molded into the exact size and shape of Nanami’s cock.

He turns to you, his hooded gaze dark and intimidating like a storm cloud. “A toy too, huh?” he says, tutting. “So you were being bad while I was at work despite knowing what my number one rule is.”

His hand snatches out to grip your chin. “And what is that rule, darling?”

You swallow harshly, going over Nanami’s many rules in your head before zeroing in on the number one, all-time important rule: “Be good,” you exhale.

He nods, a corner of his mouth twitching. “That’s right, and you broke that rule. You deliberately disobeyed me the moment you decided to take those videos of you rubbing that pretty, slutty pussy and stroking your clit with that dildo.”

His eyes narrow at you and you feel yourself tingling with fear and excitement. “I–”

“Did you know that I was in a very important meeting when you sent those videos?” he continues, not even letting you get a breath in. “Did you even ask or think before you decided to send them to me? Or were you just too cum drunk and horny for me to care?”

His grip on your chin tightens, making you gasp. “Nanami–”

But his sharp look cuts you off immediately. “Who?” he asks, a growl in his voice.

You realize your mistake and quickly backtrack. He isn’t Nanami right now. Nanami is sweet, quiet, and attentive. The man here standing before you is ruthless, merciless, and firm. “M-Master,” you correct yourself. “I’m sorry I misbehaved. I just missed you so much.”

You see Nanami inhale sharply at your pathetic little confession, but it doesn’t sway him. “So you decided to fuck with me and make me hot and bothered in front of my boss, colleagues, and peers,” he accusingly says. “You got so bored here without me that my kitty just couldn’t behave anymore.”

You weakly nod, your eyes flitting down to your feet, ashamed. “I’m sorry,” you once again repeat, your voice small and broken.

Nanami runs his thumb along your bottom lip, watching the way it jiggles at his touch. “You’ll have plenty of chances to prove to me how sorry you are.”

He snatches himself away from you then like you’re made of fire and he’s afraid of getting burned. “Now go get your gear and wait for me here while I get cleaned up.”

Your body feels like it’s overheating at this point as your mind races with the many fantasies of what your man will do to you tonight. “Yes, Master,” you obediently reply. The corner of his mouth once again twitches, a small sign of your boyfriend that makes you softy giggle to yourself once he leaves.

You do as he says and gather your gear together, quickly dressing when you hear the shower running. You dress in his favorite pretty, pink lingerie that you have, the kind that makes your plump ass look immaculate with its thong and has lace cups for your juicy breasts. You put on your cat ears and clip on your tail too, letting it swoosh around the back of your legs.

When Nanami returns fifteen minutes later, you are sitting on the bed, knees tucked underneath you and your hands in your lap. When he sees you sitting there so submissively in your fluffy ears and tail, he nearly busts beneath the towel that hangs low on his narrow hips.

You’re just as horny watching him leave the bathroom connected to your bedroom. His toned body and honey-blonde hair drip with water, your eyes catching onto each droplet that cascades down his tanned skin that you’d love to catch with your tongue.

He keeps his eyes trained on you as he walks over to the massage armchair that you bought him two Christmases ago to ease his stress and tight muscles. He takes a seat and leans back into the leather chair, his legs open beneath his towel but the damn fabric not allowing you to see what you really want and need.

The way he stares at you from across the room damn near turns you into a puddle, his gaze hot and heavy. “Here, kitty, kitty,” he teasingly says, patting his lap. “Come to me. Come to your Master.”

And you do. Like a puppet being controlled on a string, you are drawn to him. You slip off of the bed and get onto your knees before slowly, sensually, crawling to him on all fours.

You keep your eyes on him as you do while he can’t keep his off of your swaying ass, fake tail, and pretty tits that look like hanging fruit to him. When you finally make it to him, you stand and sit on his lap, curling up like a cat against him. He smells so good––a mix of the vanilla-scented soap and the Polo cologne he often wears.

He wraps one arm around your waist while his other hand comes to stroke your cheek. “You know, I should be pissed,” he says as one slender finger strokes your chin. “I shouldn’t be this soft on you at all for pulling that shit, making me so fucking hard that I had to stroke my cock to those videos in the bathroom.”

A hot wave of arousal floods you, making your pussy twitch. “Y-You did?” you ask.

He narrows his eyes at you. “Did I say to speak?” he firmly asks. You button your lip, your heart thundering. “But since you asked, yes, V, I did. I fucked my fist to every video of you moaning my name and fucking yourself with that dildo like it was my cock. I had to do something or else I’d be walking around the office with a hard-on in my pants all day.”

Your nasty mind runs wild with thoughts of your man in a bathroom stall, his slacks down and hand wrapped around his cock, pumping away and bitting back moans as he watches the dildo slip into your tight cunt again and again on his phone, just praying for time to go quicker so he could come home to fuck you himself.

“It didn’t help that the videos were so fucking hot,” he huffs. “I’m supposed to have my head screwed on tight at work and yet, all I could think about was you playing with that slutty pussy in our bed.”

You relish in his desperation, loving how needy you make him too. “I think you need to be punished,” he softly growls to you. “You, my darling kitty, need some lessons. And it’s a good thing I bought this to start with.”

He coaxes you to get up for a moment and walks to his briefcase, opening it to reveal a black box. He comes to where you sit: by the chair, kneeling submissively for him. “Turn around and close your eyes for me.”

You do as he says, gasping when you feel a leather collar snap around your neck. “I saw it at the mall last week and thought of you,” he explains. “I knew it’d be a perfect addition to your gear.”

And it is! The pink leather collar with its tiny gold bell perfectly matches your ears and tail. It fills you with such joy, especially since Nanami bought it for you. He turns you around, helping you stand before him. “Now look at you,” he dreamily sighs. “The cutest kitty ever. You wanna be a good kitty for me tonight?”

You nod your head, trembling in anticipation and excitement. You want his touch. His kiss. His everything. “Then get on the bed and hike that ass in the air,” he demands. “Do it now and hurry the fuck up. I’m too fucking pent up to be slow and sensual.”

You’re counting on it as you move onto the bed and get into position: face down, ass up, just the way Nanami likes to fuck…some of the time. Other times, he loves seeing your face as you take his cock.

You then feel him stand behind you, his presence equally thrilling and comforting, and softly mewl when you feel his hand stroke your asscheeks. “I’m gonna spank this gorgeous ass six times and every time I do, you count. Understand?”

“Yes, Master,” you reply, but you can barely get the whole sentence out before his rough, calloused hand comes down hard onto your ass.

SMACK!

The sharp sound of his hand connecting with your asscheek echoes throughout the bedroom as does your gasp of surprise and pain when it settles over you. “I’m not hearing any counting, kitty,” he taunts you. “Are you once again disobeying me? Do you want to cum tonight or not?”

At the mention of your orgasm being on the line, you muster up all the willpower you can to obey him. “One,” you whimper.

SMACK!

His hand comes down again on the same cheek, causing the stinging sensation to intensify. “Two!” you shout. He does it again, this time on your other cheek, but it hurts worse. “Three–shit, Kento, that hurt!” you hiss.

The stinging, burning sensation you feel brings tears to your eyes and will no doubt make it hard to sit…but it also makes you wetter than you have been all day. “What do you think the punishment is for?” Nanami chuckles. “Keep counting, kitty. You’re almost there.”

SMACK!

He hits you again, biting his bottom lip at the way your ass recoils against his hand.

“Four!” you sob. Then another, causing you to moan in a mixture of pain and pleasure. “Five! Fuck, Keny, please!”

“Please what, darling?” he asks. “Stop?”

You don’t answer. You don’t even know if you want him to stop. “But you’re at the last one. Just keep counting.” He waits an excruciatingly long couple of seconds before his hand comes down to smack your juicy, plump, jiggly ass again.

SMACK!

“Six!” you whine, squeezing your wet eyes shut against the pain.

Nanami swoops in to caress your stinging ass in soft strokes and soothing, wet kisses immediately, praising you for such a good job. “Good girl,” he coos. “Such a good little kitty cat. You did so well for me taking your punishment like that.”

You softly moan, enjoying the sweet kisses and touches that he places on your ass…but they don’t last for long.

He stops his aftercare, staring down at you with those intimidating eyes. “But you still have to show me how sorry you are,” he says, his eyes demanding. “Get on your back and sit up for me.” Though slowly, you do as he says and settle onto your ass despite the sting, leaning back against your elbows with your knees bent.

Nanami then wanders into the bathroom without a word, coming seconds later holding his yellow, leopard-printed tie in his fist. Your body reacts immediately, your skin hot and your heart pitter-pattering in your chest.

You know what is coming next as he gets up onto the bed on his knees beside you, still in his towel. You look down, finding his hardened cock standing at attention and creating a tent under his towel.

Looking up at him, you immediately show him your wrists and he takes the message. “Let me know if it’s too tight,” he says before taking your wrists and tying his tie around them. You watch his hands and his face as he does, loving how focused he is and how expertly he binds your wrists together, making them secure but not tight enough where it hurts.

Once finished, he places your arms down in front of you. “Good?” he asks and you nod, giving him a reassuring smile.

Then comes the part you’ve been aching for. Standing up on his knees with his eyes trained on you, he finally loosens his towel, revealing his narrow hips, V-line, toned stomach, and hard, thick, throbbing cock to you.

You practically salivate at the sight, especially when he begins to stroke himself right in front of you. “You want this?” he asks, his hand slowly pumping his cock in your face. “Is this what you’ve been craving?”

You feel your pussy twitch impatiently, your thong drenched at this point. You lick your plump lips to moisten them, desperate to taste him. “Yes, Master,” you softly moan. “Please…please let me taste you. I’ll make you feel so, so good.”

Nanami’s gaze softens as he inches toward you, bringing his cock to your lips. “Oh, baby,” he coos, “I know you will. Your mouth was made for me.”

Before you know it, his cock is slipping between your lips and you are forced to quickly accommodate to his size and girth as he begins to slowly rock his hips into your panting mouth. The groan that escapes his mouth at the feeling of your hot, wet tongue and lips wrapped around his shaft is one of yearning and need.

He has been so pent-up all day. You can feel it in the way his cock throbs in your mouth as it slides along your tongue, gradually sliding deeper down your throat.

Nanami’s hand moves to the back of your head, his fingers sinking into your hair. “That’s right, darling,” he groans, transfixed by the way you take him down your throat. “Take that cock deep in that mouth for me. You’re such a good little kitty for me, aren’t you? You want all of that milk, don’t you?”

You feel your pussy gush at his words which means he is just as into this as you are if he’s dirty-talking. You love it when he gets like this. Even more so when he decides to slide his cock out of your mouth and replace it with his index and middle fingers.

“Suck them,” he orders you. You do so, wrapping your plump, soft lips around his digits and gently sucking on them, looking deep into his eyes as you do.

When he is satisfied, he takes them out of your mouth and trails them down to your thong. He pulls the tiny, thin string of fabric to the side and proceeds to rub your gushing, soaking, wet pussy with its puffy lips and swollen clit.

You moan pathetically, your eyelids fluttering closed at his touch. “K-Kento!” you moan. “Kenny, baby, please!”

He doesn’t allow you a chance to continue to speak because his cock is sinking back into your mouth again, making your voice muffled. “Don’t you dare stop,” he demands. “And don’t close your thighs either. Keep them open for me. This is what sluts like you get, you understand?”

You nod as best as you can with his cock still in your throat, gagging and slobbering all over it as your thick, pillowy-soft thighs tremble with the effort it takes to keep them open as Nanami rubs your pussy. He continues to fuck your throat like it’s a toy, using your mouth to get himself off. The sheer force of his intense thrusts causes the bed to creak and your cat ears to nearly fall off your head.

“Such a good fucking slut, I swear,” he huffs as he pumps his cock in and out of your warm, wet mouth. “You were just waiting for me to come home and fuck your throat…use you up like only I can. Only I can do this to you.”

He then plunges his fingers inside of you, emitting a loud, muffled moan from you around his cock. “Is that clear?” he growls.

He slides his cock out of your mouth, the long, thick appendage bobbing in your face and hitting your cheek as it does. “Yes!” you sob. “Yes, I’m yours!”

You can feel your pussy tightening around his fingers, that knot in your core about to snap. “Then show me,” he orders. “Cum all over my fucking fingers like a good kitty. Give me that fucking cum, V. Do it now!”

The way he raises his voice makes you finally unravel and you cum all over his thick fingers that continue to curl inside of you, flicking against that spot that makes you see heaven. A symphony of moans and sobs of pleasure leave your lips as you gush all over him, your pussy walls clenching his fingers much to his enjoyment.

When your orgasm finally stops tearing through you and fades, you are left feeling spent and satisfied though sticky from down below. Nanami slides his fingers out of you and sucks on them, slurping your cum off of his digits.

He hums appreciatively as if you’re the best tithing he has ever tasted. He looks down at you panting heavily, looking winded. “Tired, darling?” he soothingly asks.

You weakly nod, too tired to speak. “Well, too bad,” he replies, “because I still need to cum and I’m not stopping until I’m satisfied and sure that you’ve learned your lesson.”

Before you can even take a breath, he has you on your back and your arms up over your head, one of his big hands clamping around them. You squeak as he slides his hips between your thighs, prying your legs apart, and his other hand slides down to move your wet thong to the side.

“Nanami,” you say, but it’s all you can get out before his big, thick, hard cock is sliding inside of you, silencing all coherent words. As if sharing the same body, both of your eyes widen and your jaws go slack as soon as Nanami is snugly between the wet, tight, spongy walls of your cunt.

“Oh, fuck!” you whine, your eyes fluttering closed at the immense pleasure you feel. He only moves slowly for a few seconds, letting you get used to him after going so long without him, and then he begins to really fuck you.

His thrusts are brute and precise, nailing your G-spot again and again and turning your pussy into mush. “Fuck, kitty,” he moans, his lusciously deep voice washing over you and making you wetter.

He moves his hand from your tied wrists to pin one of your jiggly, thick thighs to the bed, giving you the opportunity to slide them down between you as if that will stop him.

He catches this and roughly pins them up by your head again, giving you a sharp smack on the ass with this other hand. “Move your fucking hands,” he growls. “You’re getting exactly what you wanted. You can’t run from it now, kitty.” His hips piston into you harder, faster, drawing pathetic moans, sobs, and gasps out of you.

He stares down at you in absolute awe, loving the way your cute tummy jiggles, how your brown skin glistens in sweat, and how slutty you look as you take him. “God, you take my cock so good,” he groans. “Bet you’ve been waiting for this, hm? Bet you’ve been wishing that toy was me.”

He leans down to press his lips to your ear, pressing his muscular, lean body to your plumper, softer one. “Tell me how good it feels,” he whispers. “Tell me you love the way I fuck you into our bed.”

“I love it!” you babble, delirious from the dick. “I fucking love the way you fuck me, Master! I love you so, so much!”

He leans up to look down at you again, his face flushed from the pleasure and frantically fucking you. He strokes your cheek lovingly, using his thumb to gently play with your bottom lip. You part your lips and invite his digit in to suck on it. “I love you too, darling,” he moans. “Let me show you how much.”

You barely have enough air in your lungs or energy in your body to moan or gasp as he begins to pummel you into the bed, making the bedsprings bounce and the mattress creak under your body.

He grabs your titties, tummy, and thighs as he fucks you stupid, squeezing the flesh and marveling at the way your body looks so good underneath him. It makes him want to fuck you until he fills you to the brim, claiming you as his own. When he realizes how fast he is fucking you, he stops and slips out of you, his cock still hard and slick with your wetness.

“What’s wrong?” you pant, confused. You lay there on your back as he wipes his blonde hair out of his face and away from his sweaty forehead.

“Had to take a break,” he sheepishly admits. “I’ve had a long day at work and unfortunately for you, baby, you’re pussy is the perfect stress reliever. I don’t want to be that rough with you.”

You can see in his eyes that he needs this and you need it too. Your pussy throbs and aches for him again, needing to be released. You sit up and give him a reassuring smile, beckoning him inside you again. “It’s okay, Kento,” you whisper. “I trust you. You can take everything out on me.”

He stares at you for a moment, looking shocked at your willingness to be his good little kitty. Then, without a word, he rises from the bed and walks over to his briefcase, his firm, plump ass hypnotizing you as he walks.

You sit up straight, confused and becoming impatient with this waiting. You watch as he takes something out of his case wrapped in red wrapping paper and brings it back over to you. You watch his big titties sinewy with fine, blonde chest hair and thick cock bounce as he walks over to you and then climbs into bed.

“I got something else to go along with the collar,” he explains, showing you what is hidden beneath the wrapping paper: a leash with a clip to hook onto the collar.

Your heart leaps at the sight, especially since you know what it’s for. “Is this okay with you?” he asks, concern in his eyes. “We don’t have to go any farther than this.”

But you do. You want to go so far that you can’t turn back. And you won’t want to because you’re with him and you know that he’ll keep you safe. “I wanna try it,” you answer. “Go ahead, Master. Leash me and fuck me how you need to.”

You see a lustful fire explode behind Nanami’s eyes before he helps you turn around and position you on your knees. You shiver and tremble as you feel him tug gently on your collar as he clips the leash on and then wraps it around his fist.

“Head on the pillow, baby,” he instructs you and you do so, hiking your plump ass in the air. He presses a soft kiss to your lips, showing you tenderness before he ruins you. “The safety word is “red”, okay?” he whispers. “Don’t forget it.”

“Mmm-hmm,” you hum before moaning into the pillow as his cock sinks into your pussy once more. Your jaw goes slack the minute he slides in. You can feel all of him stretching you open, his balls slapping your needy, tingling clit as he pummels into you again and again. “Fuck, Kento!” you scream into the pillow.

You then feel him tug hard on your leash, yanking you up by the collar. “Who?” he barks into your ear, still beating your shit up like it’s somebody that owes him money.

“M-Master!” you whine. “Fuck, that feels s-so good!”

“I bet it does,” he chuckles. “I bet you love taking your Master’s cock. And you’re gonna continue to take it until I cum, understand?”

He tightens his grip on the leash, squeezing your throat a bit as he continues to piston into your pussy, making your ass bounce and jiggle against him. Between the choking, his dick game, and your tied wrists, you are losing your everloving mind, quickly teetering closer to that edge of another orgasm.

“Master,” you whimper brokenly. “I-I’m gonna cum.”

Nanami moans delightfully at that, moving in close to your ear. “My little kitty is gonna cum?” he teasingly asks. “Does she wanna cum all over this cock while her Master fills you up?” You frantically nod, your walls fluttering and clenching around him.

“Do it then,” he demands, his voice horse and desperate. “Cum for me while I cum for you, darling. Please, kitty, give it to me! Fucking cum with me!”

It only takes a couple more harsh thrusts to finally make that dam inside of you burst. “Fuck, Kenny!” you whine as the gates finally flood and you cream all over his cock, tugging and squeezing on him as he continues to pummel into you.

He then slams his hands down on the mattress on either side of your body and rides your pussy to chase his own high. He fucks you rough and fast, making your entire body bounce against the bed until his body tenses and stills, his one hand moving to grip your ass. “Fuck, V, I’m cumming!” he groans. “Take it all for me, kitty!”

And like a good, obedient kitty girl, you do. You take every ounce of his cum as he spurts inside of you, moaning as he does so. You gasp as you feel him spill inside of you, filling you up to the point of spillage.

You feel something wet drip down your thighs as he gives you a few more slow, sloppy thrusts before pulling out of you. He slides his cock head across your asscheeks, coating it in his cum, humming as he does so.

You lay on the bed, completely drained, sore, and so, so satisfied. Nanami presses a kiss to the middle of your back and trails his lips downward, peppering your skin in hot, gentle kisses. You softly giggle as he does, still lying in the afterglow.

“Good kitty,” he whispers, stroking your hair. “Now let’s get you into the bath, darling.”

You let him scoop you up from the bed and walk you into the bathroom to soak in a hot bath, bringing a lovely end to his sexy return home and creating a wonderful end to an evening with just the two of you.

#smutty smut #black fanfic writer #my works #black coded reader #black writers #my fic shit #my one shots #request fill #18+ one shot #nanami smut #nanami x black!reader #nanami x fem!reader #nanami x you #nanami x y/n #nanami kento #jjk smut

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ihavethedreamies · 10 months ago

Text

Best Friend's Brother | Doyoung

Kim Dongyoung (Doyoung - NCT 127)

Rating: M (18+) MDNI

Word Count: ~5.4k

Pairing: Doyoung x AFAB!Reader

Genre: Reader-Insert, Smut, Some Plot, Friends to Lovers

!!This is smut…if that much isn't clear you should probably leave now!! MDNI!

Warnings: She/Her Pronouns used, Small Age Difference (Like 5 years, reader is 19 and he's 24), Swearing, Kissing, Oral (M! Receiving), Fingering, Spanking (once or twice), Unprotected Sex (Use a condom! She's on the pill)

Author's Note: I wrote this a long time ago and had it saved somewhere else and totally forgot about it till the other day, lol. I Beta-ed it myself but there might be some errors still.

I am cross-posting this on Archive and Wattpad. Please reblog! If you know anyone that would like this or future fics but they aren't on here my name and icon are exactly the same on the other sites. Happy reading!

You had always had eyes for your friend's brother. It was nearly impossible not to give the fact that he was simultaneously the cutest and hottest thing on the face of the earth. There were times where Doyoung would smile or laugh and you heart would melt; the other times he would get angry or annoyed, and THAT look…made your ovaries explode. His broad shoulders and narrow build appealed to you more than the ripped guys you'd meet at the gym. You did always wonder what he had hiding under there though, because every time you were at the pool, he either didn’t get in or wore a shirt…Though, the wet fabric clinging to his body didn’t leave too much to the imagination. The worst part though, was that your best friend knew EVERYTHING. And she would tease you mercilessly for it. She was never disgusted by your crush on her brother; however, she requested to never have to see anything between the two of you. Fat chance at anything happening though. To him, you were like another little sister. You had been friends with his actual sister for many, many years, and he probably still saw you as the toothless six-year-old that hit him in the head with a plastic baseball bat. It wasn’t on purpose of course, but he, and his sister, never let you live it down.

Luckily, since he was five years older, there was never a point where you two were at the same school. You weren’t sure you could handle all the stares and attention he got from other girls, because he for damn sure got it. You remembered one valentine's day the amount of chocolates and notes he brought home from school. The year after you had decided to make chocolates for him yourself, but when they turned out terribly misshapen -still tasty- you ate them yourself.

Little did he know, you had a framed picture with him on your vanity…Not in a creepy way. It was from a few summers back where your group of friends had gone camping and he went along with some of his friends to basically chaperone. Therefore, there were other people in the picture, not just him. Your favorite part of it was that he is standing behind you with that beautiful smile, his hand resting on your head. Right after the picture was taken, he ruffled your hair, then dispersed with the rest of the group. That night, several of your friends flirted and joked with his friends, but you and he sat aside, watching the shenanigans. You were both exhausted but would be teased endlessly if you went to bed, so you sat together under a tree watching the fireflies. It wasn’t until later that you had found out you had fallen asleep on his shoulder, and he fell asleep with his head resting on yours. Rumor had it, your best friend had a picture, but refused to show you. She claimed she needed it for when she did something otherwise unforgivable and needed an out.

One day you were over at her apartment, both of you studying on a hot late-spring day, the open windows allowing for a nice breeze to waft through. Her apartment was settled above her aunt's bakery and so she got a discount on rent. Since their aunt and uncle had no children themselves, Doyoung was set to inherit the business in a few years. On nice days, they would sit outside and offer samples and coupons to people walking by, and his beautiful face always drew people in like flies. It was honestly amazing to listen to him chuckle and converse with customers, but also distracted you from your studies. Often your friend would catch you, eyes closed, reveling in listening to him, daydreaming.

"Yah! Get to work." She tapped the end of her pencil on your notebook.

"Sorry." You snapped out of it and got back to taking notes. Summer break was approaching, which meant so were finals. Not too worried about it you realized you might gain a reason to be if you continued to drift off into Doyoung land. It had become soon to closing time for the bakery, staying open till about six pm that time of year. You decided to take a break and got off the floor to pace her apartment. The remnants of the food you had delivered had been put in the refrigerator and the dishes had long since been picked up by the delivery boy. Opening the fridge, you scan through it, feeling a bit snacky but not sure what you wanted. You also had a bad habit of opening the fridge when in the kitchen even if you weren’t hungry. Going to the small balcony, you leaned on the railing to watch Doyoung sweeping in front of the store and wiping tables down. The sleeves of his white button-up were rolled to above his elbow, and his jeans were perfectly hugging-

"How's studying going?" His voice startled you and your eyes moved from his ass to his eyes. He was looking up at you like a curious bunny and it was the cutest freaking-

"Uh, it's going." You huffed a small laugh awkwardly, hoping he didn’t catch you staring.

"Do you need any help?" He asked and you blinked back. Should you take the opportunity? You really didn’t need help…You glanced behind you at the pile of books and papers on the table, as well as his sister conked out, drooling on her homework.

"Uh, yes please. I'll be right down!" You called as quietly as you could for him to still hear you, but not wake her up, and shuffled back inside to grab your study materials. Your sandals flapped on the stairs as you descended the outside staircase and moved to meet him out front.

"Let's go sit inside, it’s a bit cooler." He smiled and motioned for you to follow. He closed the doors, flipped the sign to closed, and you found a table. There were only three small tables inside, so you had to put some of your stuff on the windowsill next to you. He removed his apron - dear lord his buttons were STRUGGLING - and moved the chair from across to next to you.

"What class are you studying for right now?" He asked.

"Advanced World History." You weren’t exactly having trouble, but it was the hardest class you needed to study for. His eyes widened then he blinked at you.

"You're, what, a second year? I could have never at nineteen." He shook his head.

"Can you now?" You asked and he laughed. Your heart thudded so hard it's like she fell over the railing of a balcony.

"I can try…I should have asked what class before I offered." He huffed a nervous laugh.

"Well, maybe you can just help me go over the study guide. You know, make sure I know what I'm talking about." You handed him a green-paper packet and he turned his chair to face you better, leaning back into it. He began to go over questions, and you answered, but he tripped you up. You had memorized them in order, and he was reading off at random. This meant you had to actually know what the answer was instead of relying on repetition.

"Daeng! Try again!" He eyed you over the top of the paper playfully. You crinkled your nose, thinking.

"You're so cute." he whispered, but you heard it. Your head shot up to stare at him, and realization crossed his face that he said it out loud. You expected him to brush it off as some little sister thing, but his cheeks and ears turned a bright red.

"I'm cute? Me? No, no, you're cute." You had no idea where the confident flirtation came from, but you were dead serious. He blinked at you again.

"Cute." You pointed at him. Your deadpan stare and serious tone caught him off guard. He cleared his throat nervously and wouldn’t meet your eye.

"Next question." You waved the situation off, screaming inside. It was like you were having an out-of-body-experience and your filter had been removed, letting him your instinctual thoughts.

"You really think I'm cute?" He put the paper down, sitting up straight.

"You are the cutest thing on the face of the earth." Once again, you were completely serious. His whole face bloomed red, and he brought his hand to his mouth, trying to hide his giddy smile.

"Come on, keep going, we didn’t finish." You pushed the paper toward him, but he just glanced at it.

"Questions." You poked the paper.

"How long have you thought I was cute?" He put his hand down, the embarrassment dissipating and turning to smugness.

"Forever, continue." Paper was shoved. Finally, he picked up the packet and when his face was hidden, you released a rush of air to try and calm down.

"On a level of one to ten, how cute am I?" Man, he was like a dog with a bone. You rolled your eyes.

"Eleven."

"How long have you liked me?" That threw you off a bit.

"I never said I liked you-" You tried to play it off. He put the packet down.

"You think I'm cute." He smirked.

"Puppies are cute, bunnies are cute, you are cute. In what world does that mean I like you?"

"Why do you have the hoodie I lost a few years ago in your closet?"

"H-how did you know about that?"

"Saw it in the picture on your story when you were modeling the animal onesies you two got to match."

"It could have been any red hoodie; how did you know it's yours?"

"I didn’t…not until now. Plus… it’s way too big." He smirked and your violent intentions flared to life.

"You little shit!" You scolded and he guffawed. You were sure your face was as red as that sweatshirt.

"How did you even get it?" He questioned and you exhaled harshly.

"I was at your house when it was just me and your sister. We had ordered pizza, but I was in my bathing suit since we were playing with the hose outside in the heat. The doorbell rang and I wasn’t answering the door in my school swimsuit, so I grabbed the first thing out of the clean laundry I could find." You shared and he hummed.

"Just you in my hoodie, hm?" His gaze had changed, and you weren’t sure how to feel.

"Oh, hush, pervert." You mumbled, glancing out the window at the setting sun. You heard the chair scrape on the floor, then felt him standing next to you, close enough to feel his warmth. Turning to glare up at him, your neck cracked having to bend back too far. He was so close. If you breathed too deeply your chest would brush against him. That thought made your breath hitch. Do not breathe. However, the air was stolen from your lungs when his hands, his BEAUTIFUL hands, cupped your jaw.

"Can I kiss you?" He whispered, his lips already slightly touching yours.

"Ye-" You didn’t even finish your acceptance and he instantly latched onto you. You whined, any sass draining from you instantly. Carefully, you lifted your arms and clutched his shirt above where it was tucked into his jeans. His hand moved from your jaw to back of your neck, deepening the kiss. His other hand ran down your arm and settled politely on your waist. Doyoung finally pulled away and your breath came out harsh, sucking in air. After your lung's respite, he was on you again, this time his tongue snuck past your lips, brushing at yours. You gasped and he swallowed it, backing you up till your back hit the wall. Both hands ended up pinning you in as he placed them on the wall and your hands left his side the clutch the fabric over his chest. Once again, he pulled away right as you needed to tap out for air. A small trail of saliva connected your lips, and he licked over his own, breaking the connection. He moved to bend down, most likely to kiss your neck, but you stopped him.

"We can’t, not here. Your sister could come down any minute. At least let me get the rest of my stuff. We can go to my place, it’s closer." You whispered and he backed up a bit.

"Don’t you live in a dorm?"

"Yes, but my roommate works nights." You were still so close that your lips brushed as you talked. He grunted, backing up, and you moved toward the door so fast, you almost slipped. Your left sandal came partially off, and you fixed it, before shuffling rapidly out and upstairs again. Being as quiet as possible, you entered her apartment and grabbed your other things, shoving them in your bag. You bumped your leg on the table as you moved around and fought back a grunt. His sister was still asleep, so you laid a blanket over her shoulders and shut the windows, hitting your leg again on the other corner of the table. Coming down about five minutes later, you saw he was behind the counter when you reentered, probably finishing last-minute business. You shoved all your study materials haphazardly into your bag and then waited patiently for him to finish. You were sure you looked EXTRA sexy with frizzy humidity hair, panting like an old dog with two still-forming bruises on your shins. He went into the back then came out with his own bag and smiled innocently as he met you.

"Ready?" He whispered directly into your ear, and you wanted to scream YES! but refrained.

"Yep." You tried to stay casual, and he chuckled. He led you outside and across the street to his car. It was nice, not super fancy, but still pretty nice. It was a dark blue with black leather seats. You weren’t sure your bare, sweaty thighs would love the upholstery. Getting in, you threw your bag in the back along with his and before you could reach for your seatbelt, he was doing it for you. Right as he clicked it, he gave you a brief peck on the lips. He went to start the car and your hand flung out to rest on his arm.

"Wait…I need to know, what- how do you feel about me?" You did not want this to be a one-night stand, a fling. You were pretty sure this was more than a crush, could be full-on love, and you didn’t want your heart broken. Especially not by him, anyone but Doyoung. His gaze turned to you, soft, and he sighed.

"Honestly, it was last year that I really realized what was going on. It was your birthday party at the noraebang, and you were singing with one of the guys there. I don’t remember his name. Anyway, it was a romantic duet and despite the fact that he could sing, and you cannot-"

"Hey!"

"I couldn’t stand seeing you so close to another guy. Watching you struggle to read the prompter because your contacts weren’t the right prescription, was just so freaking cute. Then you smiled at me so brightly when the song ended, at least I saw it that way. I only wanted you to smile at ME like that. I've been hiding it, because I didn’t think you would want to go out with your friend's big brother…" He tapped awkwardly on the steering wheel, giving you a sheepish look.

"My dude, that is like the most popular trope in fanfiction, you realize that right?"

"Really?"

"Yeah, that and a daddy kink-"

"Okay, thanks, that's all I need to know!" He sighed again.

"I really, really like you." He finished and you brought your hand to rest on his, wrapping your fingers around his, resting them on the center console.

"I really, really, really like you." You emphasized the third really. He smiled sweetly and leaned in to kiss your forehead.

"If this is too fast for you-"

"I have been waiting YEARS for this. Drive!" You pointed forward and he laughed, doing as you said. Once you got to campus, you directed him to the parking lot nearest your dorm building. There were still people walking about in the dusk light, and you grabbed your stuff and his hand, leading him inside. Going up to your floor, you drag him down the hall, awkwardly nodding to your neighbors. They were gawking at Doyoung, and it pissed you off. You grumbled as your keycard refused to work the first time, getting more upset that you were letting them eye-hump your man…In reality it was probably because there was a dude there, not what he looked like. You finally saw the light turn green and heard the lock click open. Shoving the door open, you yanked him inside. Throwing your bag on the floor, you used your card to enter your room as he looked around the tiny dorm living room. Another room was across from yours where two other girls lived.

"Don’t worry these walls are REALLY soundproof." You reassured, shutting the door as he entered.

"How do you know that?" He smirked and you rolled your eyes.

"Because if one of them ever brings a guy, I don’t hear anything." You motioned vaguely. While your room was clean, bed made, you panicked upon seeing your rabbit stuffed animal on the bed. You grabbed it, its name might or might not have been Doyoung, and yeeted it into your closet.

"What are you hiding?" He teased and you closed the door to the closet, before being backed into it.

"Nothing." You tried to cover the act up by resting your forearms on his shoulders, linking your hands behind his neck. He hummed suspiciously, bumping your forehead with his, before very softly kissing you. It was different than before, this felt more like love than lust. It made your head swim more than the previous kisses. He pulled back after a much shorter time, and he ran his hands over your frizzy hair.

"You're beautiful." His soft voice made you want to cry.

"So are you," You brought him down to your level again and he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you so close you could feel the buttons of his shirt dig into your stomach. One hand drifted to your short-clad ass and gripped. You let out a gasp and his tongue once again invaded. He was the best kiss you'd ever had. You also had a feeling he was about to be the best in other ways too. Disconnecting your lips, he moved down, laying wet kisses and sucks on your neck. You let out a shaky exhale as he sucked over your pulse. You knew the position he was in was probably not comfortable, having to bend over so far due to his height.

"Move to the bed?" You offered and he laid one more kiss on your neck, then pulled back to allow you both to move. You barely sat down on the bed before he pushed you lightly onto your back and crawled over you. He stared warmly down at you for a second, then shoved his knee between your legs, grinding his thigh into you.

"Ah!" You moaned softly and his lips reattached to yours. He dominated the kiss, and you were totally fine with it. As his tongue wrapped around yours, your hands flew to the buttons on his shirt, shakily undoing them as quickly as you could.

Much to your disappointment, he was wearing a white tank top underneath, hiding his bare body. He broke the kiss to remove the shirt and…fuck. Just seeing his bare shoulders did enough for you... While to many that may not be sexy, that was the most of Doyoung's skin you had seen. He smirked at your gawking, watching your reaction as he removed the tank top and let it fall to the floor next to the bed. Despite the fact that you had never heard of or seen him work out, he was nicely toned. For a man who liked to lie in bed all day, he had a nice body.

"Your turn," He argued when you tried to kiss him again. You swallowed, nervous, but none the less sat up to remove your own tank top. You were in a sports bra underneath, super sexy, and you hesitated, but removed it as well. Instantly, he was on you. He manhandled you to wrap your legs around his waist, and his lips latched onto a nipple. You sighed at the feeling, never being much sensitive there, but since it was him, you actually shivered a bit…He let go with a pop and you felt a surge of adrenaline, pushing him off. He landed on his back, using his elbows to prop himself up. Before he could question you, you straddled him, running your hands over the smooth skin of his chest and stomach.

"You have no idea how long I have wanted to see you like this." You whispered and he huffed in amusement. As you stroked his skin, his hands grasped at you, linking his fingers through the belt loops of your jean shorts. With a handle to hold onto, he pulled you down and grinded up into you. Since you were both wearing denim, there wasn’t a ton of sensation, but the act itself made you both groan. You could tell he was getting harder by the second, and you were sure your underwear was already ruined. He continued to grind up into you, making your hands falter.

"Okay!" you declared, climbing off of him just enough to move down the bed and fumble with his belt. He seemed shocked, but when he tried to protest you shot him a glare. He relaxed back onto his elbows again as you undid his pants. You rubbed his cock through the fabric of his boxers, salivating slightly. Finally pulling him out, you gasped, staring at him. While not absolutely huge, he was bigger than anyone you had been with before.

"(Y/N)-" Doyoung's thought dropped off when you ran your tongue up the length of him. Unfortunately, no moan or groan came out, be he did let out a harsh exhale. You had no idea how long you had wanted to do this, and no one, not even him, was going to stop you. Not that he wanted to stop you. After a few more licks and kisses, you wrapped your lips around the head and began to descend. Finally, he let out a light groan and it sounded heavenly. You couldn’t get all of him in your mouth without using your throat, so that’s what you did. When your lips met the skin of his pelvis and you swallowed, his arms gave out and he flopped onto his back. His gorgeous fingers dug into your scalp, gripping your hair but not moving you. You swallowed again and then began to bob your head, taking him into the base each time. He was getting louder, and his noises made you moan.

"Fuck!" He cursed at the vibration. So, you did it again.

"(Y/N) if you don’t stop, I'm gonna cum." He warned. You didn’t stop. You wanted him to cum down your throat. Continuing, if not increasing your pace and sucking strength, he let out a whining moan and thrust up slightly as you felt his cum shoot down your throat. Swallowing it all down, you slowly pulled off as he caught his breath. He looked up at you as you made sure to get every drop that had spurted around your lips. Seeing that did something to him, and he shot up, pining you down roughly against the bed. You squeaked in surprise as he rapidly undid the button of your shorts and yanked them off. He paused at your panties; they had little ducks on them. He gave you a look, to which you shrugged, and then those too were yanked off. You watched as he took his fingers and ran them up your soaked slit. You moaned, eagerly anticipating him fingering you. His hands were just so-

"Doyoung!" He had suddenly shoved a finger inside of you. He quickly found your sweet spot, surprisingly so, and the pleasure shook you. Without warning he added another finger, scissoring them as you tried to catch your breath. Hovered over you, waiting till you got enough air for him to kiss you. When you could finally breathe easily, his lips attached to yours, his tongue wrapping around yours. You were in heaven, and he wasn’t even fucking you yet. You weren’t sure you could handle the pleasure. He left your lips, and you threw back your head, the pleasure of his now three fingers building rapidly.

"Oppa, I'm gonna cum." You moaned and something about the pet-name got to him, and his movements intensified, his thumb moved to your clit.

"Then do it," he ordered, and you saw white. He continued his assault, helping you ride out your orgasm. Before you got too over stimulated, he pulled his fingers out, bringing them to his mouth to suck your juices off. You gaped at him, body feeling limp. By that point he was completely hard again, and he spread your legs, placing one knee up over his elbow, rubbing the head of his cock against your still twitching hole.

"Oh, please-" You encouraged, and he slowly began to ease into you. The stretch stung a bit, but the overwhelming feeling and emotions overpowered it. As he slowly got deeper you tried desperately to not cum again so soon. Having Doyoung inside of you, finally, was better than you ever dreamed. He finally was in all the way, barely bumping your cervix. You felt so full.

"G-give me a second." You gripped his biceps, controlling your breaths to get used to the feeling. He kissed over your face as you got used to him, ending with a soft peck to your lips.

"Ready?" He questioned and you nodded. He started slow, barely pulling out before going as deep as he could, grinding his pubic bone against your clit. Your breath hitched each time.

"More." You pled and he smirked. He hitched your other leg up as well then began to thrust harder, pulling out halfway before slamming back in. You could already feel an orgasm building, it made your head swim. Nothing had EVER felt this good. He continued the half-thrusts and after a particularly hard grind you came undone again. It shocked both of you, and he halted his movements as you clenched around him. His brows furrowed at your tight walls fluttering, trying hard not to cum himself. He wanted to give you the most pleasure he could before he finished. Once your orgasm had calmed, he began the slow pace again. He quickly built speed though and you practically screamed when he began to fuck you in earnest. You were were practically bent in half as he loomed over you, fucking you into the mattress. Your hands flew up to grip at his bare back, your nails dragging and leaving red lines. Doyoung groaned at the feeling and dug his own nails into your thighs. The slight prick of pain excited you, more than you thought it would. That was something to be explored later, though. All of a sudden, he pulled out and you exclaimed.

"What-!" With much more strength than you thought he had, he flipped you over onto your hands and knees. You barely kept your balance before he slammed back in, knocking your arms out from under you. Your front half fell to the bed, and you gripped the sheets to hold on for dear life. He was deeper now, each thrust ramming his head against your cervix. Tears pricked at your eyes; the pleasure so intense you almost weren’t sure you could handle it. Then, his hand came down harshly on your ass and you yelped.

"Fuck, do that again please." You pleaded and you could practically hear him smirk. He landed another hit, on the other side this time, most likely leaving a big red handprint. The somewhat flimsy wooden bed frame provided by the college rocked, the headboard knocking into the painted brick wall. If you weren’t being fucked out of your mind you would have made note that despite the unsteadiness, a lot of students had probably done something like that. That alone proved the resilience of the beds. Your hands above your head were gripping your sheets hard, and his hands left your hips to cover yours. He linked his fingers with yours, his thrusts getting slightly off rhythm. As he fucked his cock into you, each time he buried fully back into you, more of your braincells floated away. Nothing else came to mind but your impending orgasm.

"Doyoung…gon-gonna cum~." You whined.

"Me too, hold on a bit, princess," he grunted, leaning over you more, one arm wrapping around your middle, so his hand laid on your lower stomach. His thrusts got shallower, but no less deep, pressing on your tummy to feel himself inside you.

"Cum inside." You told him and he almost outright stopped.

"I'm on birth control pills, please cum inside." You pleaded and he swore several times, grinding into you. When you felt his hot cum shooting inside, it knocked you over the edge. You saw stars and swore you blacked out for a few seconds. When you came to, he was pulling out and a great deal of fluid was flowing down the inside of your thighs.

"You squirted." He informed and you barely registered what he said.

"Huh?"

"You soaked me." He chuckled and you propped yourself up to look back at him. You gaped at the very obvious splatter of wet covering his lower half.

"Shit! I'm sorry! I've never done that before!"

"Shh, it's okay. It was hot." Doyoung chuckled and you sighed in relief. You slowly let your body fall to the bed till you were laying on your stomach.

"Where’s the bathroom?"

"Second door across the living room." You waved your hand, already feeling drowsy. You listened as he partially clothed himself, pulling his underwear and pants back on, then left your room. Since you didn’t hear anything, you assumed your roommates were not home and he came back with a warm, damp washcloth. He was incredibly attentive and helped you clean up. Slowly, you sat up as he threw the towel on your dirty laundry. He picked his shirt up off the floor and handed it to you.

"I have clothes to change into," you pointed at your dresser, and he shook his head.

"Please?" He gave you a smug look and you narrowed your eyes at him. Snatching the shirt from him, you buttoned it up and you smiled at how the fabric pooled over you. The sleeves went past your hands, and you could practically wear it as a dress and still be decent to go outside. He sat on your bed, and you just stared at each other for a bit.

"Will you be my girlfriend?" He asked, almost sheepishly. You furrowed your brow dramatically.

"What kind of question? YES, of course!" You glared and he laughed, tackling you. Since you were on a twin sized bed, you both could barely fit. He pressed his back against the wall and hugged you so close to him there was still a good four inches of bed at your back. You buried your head in the crook of his neck and reached to pull the comforter over you two.

"What about when your roommate comes home?" He asked as you cuddled. You glanced behind you at the clock.

"I'll text her; she can sleep on the couch." He reluctantly let you get up to retrieve your phone. You stood, texting, and he admired you in just his shirt.

"Be nicer if it was red."

Master-Master List

NCT Master List

#ihavethedreamies #kpop #nct #nct 127 #kpop x reader #kpop smut #kpop fanfic #nct doyoung #nct 127 doyoung #nct x reader #nct 127 x reader #nct smut #nct 127 smut #smut #doyoung smut #doyoung x reader

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xsevenwondersx · 6 months ago

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You're alive.....it worked

Herbert west x Reanimated!reader

Herbert was pacing around. Waiting. Waiting for you to wake up. Dan was standing there arms crossed watching Herbert.

"Herbert....." Dan spoke low. Herbert quickly turned towards him.

"Don't!.....Don't you even say what you're going to say." Herbert's voice was stern. Herbert went back to pacing. "It'll work this time"

"You say that every time." Now Dan's voice was starting to get stern. "All they come back as is blood thirsty monsters" Dan points to your lifeless body on the couch. "Is that what you want her to become" Herbert stops his pacing to stare at your body. Dan walks over to Herbert. "Im sorry Herbert but it's facts.....your reagent doesn't work how it's intended to....." Dan walks away to his bedroom. Herbert stands alone still staring at your body. You're their friend. You understood him unlike others that just automatically label him a freak mad man. Herbert sigh deeply. He grabbed a blanket covered your body. Herbert thought of just burying you tomorrow. Herbert then went to his room.

The next morning the smell of breakfast filled the air of the house. Herbert sat up quickly confused on why he smells breakfast. He knows for a fact Dan doesn't make breakfast. Herbert slowly made his way out of his room. As he got to the living he noticed your body was gone causing his heart to stop for a few seconds. He proceeded his way towards the kitchen where he nearly fainted at the site before him. You. Alive standing in the kitchen cooking breakfast. "Y/n.......* Herbert stood still in his spot. You turn giving him a soft smile.

"Herbert Good Morning." You hold the spatula in your hand. "Feeling hungry i could make you a plate" you turn back towards the stove. Herbert walks closer still in shock to see you alive. As he got closer can still see some palness in your skin. He places a hand over yours causing you to stop to look at him.

"You're alive.....it worked" Herbert said low and soft. "You're here talking and moving fine fully normal....." Herbert smiles. His reagent worked properly. "What do you remember? How do you feel?"

"I feel fine only slight pain.....at first I didn't remember much then slowly it started to come back to me.....I remember what happened...." you look at him. Herbert looks at every inch of your face then your eyes.

"Im glad you're alive....." Herbert mumble. A tear went down his cheek. It shocked you. It would of shocked a lot of people. Herbert West showing emotions. For someone other than himself. Your hand went up to his face to gently wipe the tear from his cheek with your thumb.

(Hi im a little rusty on writing fics so I did my best I will be making another reanimated reader one that'll be a bit different.)

#herbert west #herbert west x reader #reanimator #jeffrey combs #Herbert west imagine #reanimator 1985

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the-guilty-writer · 1 year ago

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Everywhere

Request from anon: You asked for requests for Morgan and i shall deliver! i love that man so much, he is too underrated.

How about Morgan with a reader who is trying to hide/push trough a work injury? maybe reader doesnt even realise how bad their injure really is untill he points it out?

bonus points if reader nearly faints :))

Derek Morgan x GN!platonic!reader

Summary: Reader tries to push through a work injury, only to have it hit them at one of the worst times.

A/N: more blurb length, but oh well. Was gonna make it fluffy and it ended up being angsty, but oh well again.

CW: Spitballs, reader gets stabbed, reader and Morgan are both wearing guns, Morgan uses his, reader almost faints (bonus points)

---

When you applied to the FBI Academy, you were well aware of what you were signing up for - not just the 20 weeks of intensive training, but the job that would come after. You thought your first job as a S.W.A.T. agent would be the most dangerous, but when you joined the BAU a few years later, you realized there was a whole world of hurt out there you hadn’t seen.

When you entered the unsubs house, you’d been prepared for many things: a hand-to-hand take down, a knife, even a gun to be pointed towards your face. What you hadn’t been prepared for was a spit bill.

Yep. It was a little round wad of chewed up paper that did you in. The unsub managed to land it right in your eye, catching you off guard. Then they moved in with an expected attack and you found yourself with a knife in your shoulder, on your dominant side, no less.

That was months ago. You were finally allowed back in the field after being cleared by two different doctors and a physical therapist. The most recent cases hadn’t been heavy on the tactical side, and the team made sure to put you in the “easiest” position possible. You were hardly having to take painkillers. All seemed well.

It wasn’t usual for the team to be on a case for more than three or four days at a time, but it happened, and after spending your fifth night on a bad hotel mattress, you admitted (but only to yourself) that the pain in your shoulder was more intense than usual. As the day went on, it only intensified, and you didn’t want to cloud your brain with medication.

“You okay?” Morgan asked, when you climbed into the passenger seat of the SUV. Hotch had tasked the two of you with interviewing a potential witness.

“Of course,” you said. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

Morgan blinked. “You’re opening doors with your better shoulders and you winced when you got into the car,” he said.

“Just a little sore,” you replied.

Morgan didn’t believe you for a second, but he let it go.

---

The last thing you expected when Morgan pulled over to park in front of the witness’s house was to see the unsub making a run for it down the street.

“Morgan!” you pointed to the man running down the street. The surge of adrenaline triggered the instinct of raising your bad arm. Pain radiated from the site of your injury, around your back, and into your spine. You tried best not to let it show on your face.

“I see him,” Morgan replied. He whipped the SUV onto the front lawn. The sudden movement of the car caused the agony to spread further through your body.

Still, you didn’t hesitate to jump out of the car, adding another impact to the injury. When Morgan sprinted down the sidewalk, you followed him. Every movement of your arm built a silent scream in your chest. The force of your feet hitting the pavement as you ran amplified the sensation. The sidewalk came to a corner, and you reached towards the holster on your hip, only to see black as you tried to wrap your fingers around the grip.

Your body had enough. Weakened knees crumbled and you staggered down to the pavement. Ever exhausted lungs heaved and gasped as vocal chords that were suppressing howls of hurt strained to stay silent. Your fingers were spread wide to keep you steady, palms pressed bloody on the rough cement to keep you upright. Three shots rang through the air and echoed in your ears long after the sounds should have been gone.

“Hey,” Morgan’s voice broke through the noise. Gentle hands supported you onto your knees. “Hey, look at me.”

Somehow you gathered the strength to look at him. “Tell me where it hurts.”

“The unsub-”

“Tell me,” Morgan cut you off, “where it hurts.”

Your heart stopped for a moment. The knot in your throat unraveled. Tears spilled from your eyes. You collapsed into strong, protective arms.

“Everywhere.” You only had the strength to whisper. “It hurts everywhere.”

#derek morgan fanfiction #criminal minds fanfiction #derek morgan x reader #derek morgan x platonic!reader #criminal minds x reader #derek morgan x y/n #criminal minds x y/n #criminal minds x platonic!reader #criminal minds #derek morgan x gn!reader #criminal minds x gn!reader

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amberjazmyn · 5 months ago

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"whenever you're ready bug"💔

pairing : max verstappen x fem!younger sister verstappen reader & f1 grid x platonic!fem younger sister verstappen reader

summary : max's younger sister always seemed to draw the short straw in her short life. first, she was born way earlier than she was meant to be, had what seemed like hundreds of surgeries and hospital stays and was then diagnosed with terminal cancer that shortened her life which was always uncertain from the beginning.

warnings : sadness, older brother x max, sibling loss, terminal illness, crying, just genuinely upsetting, surrender by natalie taylor if that even counts as a warning and dodgy dutch google translations + maybe a couple mentions of j*s verstappen but no more!

a/n : i know, i'm such an ass for giving all the depressing one-shots to max but, i can't help it! this is what happens when i love a particular person so much, i write depressing fics about them. i've gone back at forth a different few times with whether or not i should have this as child loss or sibling loss or child loss but i'm back at sibling loss. lyrics in bold italics, flashbacks in italics, present in normal font and it'll be written in lowercase like always .

being diagnosed with cancer or really any illness at any age was a nightmare and indeed the worst thing that could happen to a family. however, for nine-year-old willow verstappen, younger sister of max and victoria verstappen, it was even more nightmarish. especially since everything about her illness and cancer diagnosis was posted on nearly every single social media site and magazine because of how high profile her older brother max was due to him being a formula one driver and how famous that then made her and her sister victoria by proxy. in saying that though, it didn't really bother the young nine-year-old too much because at the end of the day, she was able to share her experiences with her specific cancer and give those young people who were also dealing with the same thing that they had someone else their age who understood what they were going through and that ultimately, they weren't alone in their fight with cancer.

however, there did come a stage where willow could feel herself start to give up and, it seemed as though everyone in her family and extended f1 grid family could also see it happening, which terrified them.

we let the waters rise, we drifted to survive.

by the minute, willow was getting weaker and the cancer was getting so much stronger to the point where she felt like she was merely drifting, treading through the water to survive the day let alone the next one. not only was this having a weighing effect on willow, but it was also having the same effect on her parents, jos and sophie, her older brother max and older sister victoria as well as the extended formula 1 grid family who she called her "bonus family". going through this with willow was starting to weigh everyone down. not because the girl was a burden, but because they knew she was getting weaker as the days went by and were getting ready to let go.

one year ago

it felt like all the walls in the doctor's office were closing in on sophie and her eldest child, max. they never imagined they'd be getting this news after another regular hospital trip for their youngest daughter and sister, eight-year-old willow verstappen. jos not at the hospital for his daughter because he now had a whole different family to take care of.

"...meneer verstappen? max, heb je gehoord wat ik je net vertelde?" willow's doctor, dr phelps questioned, max blinked a couple of times before responding mr verstappen? max, did you hear what i just told you?

"nee, sorry, wat zei je? kunt u dat alstublieft herhalen?" max still sounded like he was so far away from dr phelps' office but did his best to not tune out this time since it seemed as though it was quite important what he was telling him and his mum no, sorry, what did you say? could you please repeat that?

"ik zei dat willow, met de recente diagnose van terminale kanker, nog steeds chemotherapie kan proberen en misschien een beetje radiotherapie, maar we zijn er niet zeker van dat het zal werken op de manier waarop het gewoonlijk zou werken als we het eerder hadden gezien..." i was saying that, with willow's recent diagnosis of terminal cancer, she can still try chemotherapy and maybe a little bit of radiotherapy but we are not certain that it'll work in the way it usually would if we had seen it earlier

ahh, yes, that's what the conversation was about, his baby sister had just been diagnosed with terminal cancer. and they were talking about roads of treatment and how successful they could potentially be for a tiny little eight-year-old. max could feel a sob building in his throat and it seemed like his mum, sophie, could feel it too, holding her son's hand tightly, she just wished they were anywhere but in dr phelps' office right now.

"...ah, uhm, dus theoretisch gesproken, als mijn zus...willow een of meerdere chemotherapieën en misschien radiotherapie zou ondergaan, hoe lang zou je dan realistisch gezien zeggen dat we haar bij ons zouden hebben?" max gulped as he fiddled with the scrunched up tissue in his palm given to him by his mum as he squeezed sophie's hand with the other one ah, umm, so, theoretically speaking, if my sister...willow, was to undergo a round or couple of chemotherapy and maybe radiotherapy, how long would you say we'd have her with us, realistically?

"nu, max, ik zou het je echt niet kunnen vertellen, omdat dit zo nieuw is en zo laat in het ontdekken van de kanker, dat we echt geen idee hebben hoe lang het haar leven mogelijk zou kunnen verlengen. maar zodra de chemo- en radiotherapie beginnen, kunnen we dat soort dingen gaan inschatten..." dr phelps responded as max felt his heart shatter now, max, i really couldn't tell you because this is so new and so late in finding the cancer, we truly have no idea how long it could potentially prolong her life. but, once the chemo and radiotherapy do start, then we can start estimating things like that

sophie feeling like she was holding it all together, his face almost crumbling as he then turned away from the doctor. then he caught a glimpse of his precious baby sister sitting ever so peacefully in the waiting room with her brother's teammates, daniel and charles. the both of them lovingly putting their hands up to take care of her whilst the other drivers were keeping kelly and penelope occupied, once again, jos and the step-siblings nowhere to be found.

"...ze verdient dit niet..." max croaked out, bringing his tissue up to cover his face as sophie comforted her son whilst dr phelps sighed solemnly she doesn't deserve this

"...nee, dat doet ze niet maximaal, niemand van haar leeftijd doet dat. ze is zo jong, maar helaas gebeuren deze dingen en het is absoluut wreed. maar ik beloof dat we er alles aan zullen doen om ervoor te zorgen dat je kleine zusje en dochter de beste kans krijgen om te overleven en haar kanker te verslaan, aangezien ze zo sterk was tijdens al haar andere operaties en kwalen," dr phelps was confident in the idea that once again, little willow was going to survive another diagnosis no, she doesn't max, no one her ages does. she's so young but, unfortunately, these things happen and it's absolutely cruel. but i promise, we'll do everything we can to make sure your little sister and daughter gets the best chance of surviving and beating her cancer since she was so strong during all of her other surgeries and ailments

but, heartbreakingly, max and sophie thought otherwise and it seemed as though, in willow's eyes, she too thought the same thing as her mum and older brother.

willow's pov

i lay in my hospital bed, a smile on my face as i saw my mum, max and victoria open the door and let in my three of my bonus siblings from max's f1 grid. leaving me alone to spend time with them whilst they went to get lunch. usually, it would only be two, maybe one, allowed in my room. but, by an exception rule, i was allowed to have more than just one or two in my room at once.

"hey will," daniel smiled, closing the door behind him since he was the last one to file into the room

"hey, danny!" i smiled as i then gave him a hug since i had already given charles and carlos a hug beforehand

my smile then quickly disappeared as i caught a glimpse of max looking like he was crying. but, he was trying to be discrete about it as i looked out of the window behind daniel's shoulder. even though he was supposed to be getting lunch with mum, victoria, kelly and penelope. it seemed like daniel, charles and carlos all noticed it even though i also tried to be discrete about it.

"why are you suddenly so upset, will? you were just smiling a second ago, what's up chickadee?" charles spoke up as he got himself comfortable on my bed, immediately grabbing my hand to hold - not for my comfort but for his even though it did make me feel ten times better

"maxie's crying, char but he's trying to hide it even though he's supposed to be getting lunch with mum, kelly and penelope. why won't he cry in front of me or when he thinks i can't see it? i just wish he'd be more vulnerable with me because i always tell him when i'm sad or when i'm scared... so why can't he?" i sighed as all three, daniel, charles and carlos gave me empathetic smiles as daniel takes a big breath in, charles and carlos letting daniel explain

"well, mon chéri, it's slightly complicated because, whilst your big brother hasn't always been the most showing of his emotions, it's different when it comes to you and penelope. he doesn't tend to cry in front of you two because he knows that, one, penelope won't completely understand why mummy's boyfriend is upset but knows something is wrong and two, he knows that if you see him cry that it'll either worry you or question him on why he's crying. he just doesn't want you to worry about why he's crying because sometimes, he's just emotional because of how much he really loves you, penelope and kelly..." daniel trailed off as he caressed my hand comfortingly as i nodded my head, feeling somewhat better

"...he also wishes that if he could, he would switch places with you. have him be in this bed and sick but, all of us in f1 always tell him that that would have been even worse. we all wish that you didn't have to deal with this. because you always seemed to be given the short straws in life. but, we are all so glad that we still get to have you with us at this very moment, right now. because right now is what's important, okay? not tomorrow, not yesterday, not next week or the next week. today, right now, okay, you understand?" daniel explained as i smiled softly and nodded my head as i then smiled at charles and carlos to reassure them

a knock at my door then got everyone's attention. my day nurse walked into my room, letting me know that i was being given another dose of treatment. even though i knew it wasn't really doing anything to help me as it used to when i first started it a year ago.

i needed you to stay, but i let you drift away

when eight-year-old willow was first diagnosed, although she needed everyone to stay, she began to drift away. away from her mum, her brother and sister, her niece and nephews and even her bonus siblings. although she didn't want to, she was doing it because she didn't want her family to see her like they were going to. so, before it was to start happening, she made sure to have everyone stay away from her. except, even though she thought it worked, it really didn't work, even though willow resisted at times.

willow's pov

having to hide my treatment from my family, specifically my older sister victoria's kids and penelope for the first couple of months was probably the hardest thing ever. anytime they tried to come into my room to spend time with me, i'd push then away and tell them that i was tired or that i was feeling sick and couldn't spend time with them. which, in all fairness to me, wasn't always a lie since i do have cancer and that makes you feel ill. but, when i did start my chemo treatments, i was beginning to feel a lot better that i could realistically deal with hanging out and chatting with penelope and my niece and nephews rather than entirely and selfishly shutting them out. however, there just came to a point where i couldn't hide the treatments any longer and, one day when it was me giving myself does of chemo, penelope and my sister blue jaye had run into my room. thankfully without my niece and nephews but i digress. before penelope screamed, causing a whole frenzy and literal cavalier of max and kelly, mum and nurses to rush into my room as though something was wrong with me. but, to be fair, i couldn't blame nor be mad at penelope since i don't think any of the kids or my siblings were told that some days, i would be giving myself solo dosages if my regular day nurses weren't available to do it for me. and since it was the first time they had seen me do it, let alone at all and had no idea i was even getting treatment, i understood penelope and blue's fear because i myself wanted to scream when i was told that i'd have to learn to do my own dosages as well.

"...p! willow! is everything okay? why did you scream, penelope?!" kelly suddenly barges in, the rest of the cavalier behind her

only to see that i was calmly doing my chemo dosages calming her down. only for her to turn around and see penelope, holding blue jaye to her chest, hugging each other. the both of them cramped near one of my chest of drawers in the far corner of my hospital room in distress

the moment kelly, max, daniel, carlos and mum saw that, it seemed like their hearts all individually broke. then, immediately, penelope saw max and bolted over to him after giving blue a sweet kiss on her head of hair and handing her over. before she then ran over to her kelly as well. watching it all go down made me feel like i was in trouble since i should have realised that penelope and blue jaye were going to come in and that i should have waited until after they had left to do my chemo doses, not whilst they were walking in.

carlos seemed to notice this and immediately took action whilst mum and max calmed down a sobbing blue jay and whilst kelly and daniel calmed down a sobbing penelope, "oh bebe. willow, ven aquí cariño!" carlos whispered in spanish as he held me as tightly as he could whilst not messing up my ivs and drips that i had attached to me whilst receiving chemo oh, baby. willow, come here sweetheart!

"is...is this all my fault carlos? why p and blue jaye are crying?" i whispered, too scared to speak any louder just in case i would get in trouble as carlos' face nearly collapsed as he shook his head, his eyes sincere

"absolutely not querida darling! it is not your fault at all! whilst you knew that your sister and penelope were coming in to visit you, you didn't know when which was for sure not your fault at all! and it wasn't their fault either. not like blue would understand but they weren't even told that you were taking treatments or that some days you'd be doing it yourself. so don't put that blame on yourself, you don't need that extra baggage, querida. you are not in trouble at all," carlos insisted as i nodded my head, wholeheartedly believing him as he hugged me again as i smiled softly

however, penelope and blue jaye had been comforted enough to where they were able to hang out with me and talk, well, me and penelope did. blue jay just sat in my lap and was being cute. that was until they were quickly ushered out, along with carlos, daniel and kelly when my nurses, mum and max looked devastated. as if they had some sad news they needed to tell me that was going to most definitely be sad. but, to me, the news seemed obvious so it confused me why mum and max looked so upset.

my nurse then started to explain the news in more detail to mum and max. but, because i had already overheard this news and already kind of seen it coming, i tuned out. only tuning back in when max broke down in tears abruptly, apologising to the nurse, mum and me before walking out of the hospital room.

"...i...i am so sorry..." max sobbed out as he then abruptly left, running down the hallway of the hospital floor as i tuned back in

and i was confused as i saw the way the family outside reacted. daniel giving penelope to kelly as he started to run after max.

"...willow, lieverd, heb je iets gehoord wat de verpleegster net zei?" mum then spoke up in dutch as i slowly shook my head no as she took a breath in before smiling, slightly brushing my hair willow, sweetpea, did you hear anything that the nurse just said?

"n...nee, waarom? heb ik iets verkeerd gedaan, mama? waar...waar gaat maxie heen? ik...ik heb hem nodig, mama..." i trailed off as fear engulfed me as mum hugged me before letting go and explaining to me what my nurse had said before max ran off n...no, why? did i do something wrong, mum? where...where's maxie going? i...i need him, mummy

"...oh, engel, nee, je hebt niets verkeerd gedaan...je verpleegster legde ons alleen uit dat de chemo niet meer werkt, dat weet je toch?" mum trembled, her hands resting on my shoulders oh, angel, no, you haven't done anything wrong...it's just, your nurse was explaining to us that the chemo isn't working anymore, you know that right?

i was worried for less than a second before realising that it had been mentioned to me before. even though i did have a sense it stopped working properly as i nodded my head.

"ja... ja, natuurlijk, dat weet ik, het werd mij al eerder verteld," i smiled, obviously not understanding properly as mum gasped out a small cry, stopping herself from fully crying as i looked at her in confusion yeah...yeah, of course, i know that, it was mentioned to me before

"do you understand what that means, willow?" mum looked at me with a sad questioning look, no longer bothered to speak dutch, it took me some time to process it but i slowly nodded my head

"yeah...yeah, it means that it's no longer effectively treating my cancer..." wait, the chemo is no longer effectively treating my cancer... does that mean i'm going to die before i turn ten?

"...wait, umm, nurse, could you...could you please go and find my brother? don't worry about me, i have mum with me, she knows what to do, thanks..." i was trying to comprehend all of this news and it was difficult

yet this hospital and these four walls have been basically my whole life. and especially considering this chemo hasn't been effectively working for ages and only now i've fully realised it?

"...of course willow. as soon as i find your brother, i'll invite him in," the nurse smiled and left with nothing more as i smiled back at her as i watched her leave

"thanks..." i breathed out as she left to find max as it was now just mum and me as she then spoke up

"babe, why'd you send the nurse out to find max?" that was all it took for me to collapse in her arms as i started to panic

"oh, babe, what's wrong?" she reacted, rubbing my back as she hugged me as tightly as she physically could as i slowly started to feel better

"i...i'm scared mummy, i...i don't want to die," i panicked as mum hugged me again and rubbed my back before pulling away, her hands on my shoulders

"darling, you are not going to die. you are going to be absolutely fine. we've only been told the results of the chemo treatments, we also have you in radiotherapy and still haven't been given the results about how that's going. so, who knows, maybe whilst the chemo isn't working, the radiotherapy might be and that's why it could be affecting the chemo results? don't always look on the negative side sweetheart," mum smiled softly, rubbing my shoulders as i nodded my head because she did have a point - we still hadn't been given my radiotherapy results yet

however, in the split second of being comforted by my mum and feeling wide awake, i suddenly felt limp and grew tired. falling forwards into mum's grip, and in a state of pure quick thinking and keeping calm and collected, she hit the emergency button. this then immediately paged one of my nurses to my room.

"mummy...i...i'm tired...i'm...i'm so tired..." i mumbled out sleepily as i felt mum's breathing quicken as she held me after her hand released the emergency button as i weakly smiled

"--nurses to room 452, cancer patient, nurses to room 452, cancer patient..." was heard over the loudspeakers through the hospital floor which i could tell would freak out the rest of my family since they all were aware of my room number

suddenly, doctors and nurses swarmed my room, immediately removing my mum's grip from me as they laid me back down properly on my bed. the last thing i remembered hearing was the nurse screaming, "everyone get out now!"

my love, where are you? my love, where are you?

thankfully, the real reason why willow was tired wasn't that she was about to die. it was just simply because of the chemo dosage. she had accidentally given herself a little too much than she was supposed to. and it was suspected that it happened when the penelope and blue jaye panic situation happened. which, at first worried everyone but, it was quickly levelled properly and willow was fine again. she was now in a deep sleep and in a place of everything being at the levels they were supposed to be. however, willow could tell that her brother was resting next to his sister and silently crying whilst daniel tried to calm him down as kelly and mum took care of the kids.

willow's pov

thankfully, after the scare i had with my chemo dosage, i woke up around four-ish hours later. but, i was keeping my eyes closed, simply resting them whilst max cried into my hand that i had laid at my side as he caressed it. daniel sat next to him and comforted him. even though i was resting my eyes and somewhat awake, i could hear him whisper.

"come on schatje honey, where's all your energy gone? you've never been this tired before, what happened?" he whispered into my hand as i heard him cry as i could feel daniel try to comfort him

"it's not gone completely max. she's just storing it all before using it when she's got all of it. she's still your sister," daniel whispered to my brother as i smiled, he was right, i hadn't gone anywhere

"where is my little girl, will? open your eyes schatje, it's been four hours! what's better up there as your reason to not open your eyes? come on darling, i wanna see your blue eyes!" max started to sob and it broke my heart

everyone knew that max, my brother, wasn't one to be that emotional of a person. it was always obvious as to why but, i won't comment on it. but, now i understood why he always ran away from me when he would start to cry or even get the smallest bit emotional as my eyes started to flutter open. daniel nudging max to look up from my hands.

"maxie..." i mumbled as i slowly sat myself up, daniel nudging max to look up, when he did he smiled small

"willow...are you okay? is something hurting? are you hungry? do you..."

"...maxie, i'm fine, calm down, please. i'm just tired but, nothing that a splash of water to the face and some food can't fix. i promise i am okay and, to answer your question, even if it was rhetorical, my energy hasn't completely disappeared. it's just halfway full and i'm wanting it to be all the way full before i start using it. and your little sister hasn't gone anywhere, i'm still here max," i smiled as i combed my fingers through his hair as he smiled, it slowly started to reach his eyes as tears welled in his eyes

"i'm never leaving maxie..."

whenever you're ready, whenever you're ready

willow was slowly starting to deteriorate and it was painful. not in a physical sense but in a mental sense. okay, maybe it physically hurt a little bit but, the girl never said anything because she didn't want to hear her doctors and nurses talking anymore. and she didn't want them giving her more harmful drugs in her system. however, willow's hospice carer and main oncologist, dr phelps realised what was going on. and then told willow's current guests, penelope and kelly to leave so dr phelps could talk to willow in private.

willow's pov

dr phelps knew something was up, he knew i was in pain. physically and mentally. however, this was the first time in a while that he was questioning me about it.

closing the door on max's girlfriend and her daughter, kelly and penelope, he sat down and gave me a raised eyebrow, "okay, come on small one. tell me what's up? there's something going on that you're not telling the rest of your family. so, tell me, what's going on?" dr phelps tilted his head to look at me, i had never felt this weak or small in my entire life as i huffed

"nothing dr phelps, i'm fine," i lied, again

yeah, this was something i had been doing this past month. along with the forcing everyone to speak english since any other language just messed with my head. especially considering i basically only had this month left before i drop dead anyway. so, might as well lie, right? which, when you remember the fact i'm nine years old and i'm saying this, is quite sad

"no, you're not willow. i've been by your side for the entire year and a half that you've gone through this. this is the exact opposite of how you acted so, what's wrong? you know if you don't or can't tell your mum, brother, kelly, the rest of the f1 grid, you can and have to tell me. so, spill, what is going through that little undeveloped head of yours?" although i really didn't want to laugh, dr phelps did always find a way in how he did his consults to make it lighthearted and comedic in the right places as i smiled

"seriously? do i have to?" i joked with a small giggle, acting like the teenager i'd never get to be as dr phelps nodded his head with a half smile

"uh-huh, come on small one. cough it up, what's wrong?" dr phelps smiled as i huffed, explaining everything to him, having no clue that my max and charles had walked past, hearing it all

"i'm tired dr phelps. like, in a way i've never been before and i...i'm so sore. the amount of pain i'm in is so painful it feels like i'm in pain every day. why...why can't it just stop doctor?" i was wanting to cry but, i couldn't because of how unbearable the pain was getting

"i know small one, i know how tired you are. but, are you able to hold on a little bit longer? just a little? i mean, it's almost your maxie's birthday. and, i know for a fact, even though i shouldn't say this, that one of your brother's birthday wishes is for you to be there with the family and sing him happy birthday. you think you could hold on a little longer for that?" dr phelps stroked my cheeks as i shrugged my shoulders - i've gotten so tired that i'm just not so sure how much longer i can continue this fight, even though getting to maxie's next birthday would be amazing

"i...i want to but, i...i don't know anymore dr phelps," i mumbled when i heard a sob muffled by either a hand or someone's shoulder

looking past dr phelps, the door opened, and i noticed max and charles - max crying into charles' shoulder as he tried to once again comfort max.

"i...i'm sorry maxie but, i-i'm just so tired..." my eyes started to close as dr phelps let them know that i was sleeping, i was fine and my heart machine and the others alike were still working normally, i was just sleeping

"...it's alright guys, willow is okay. she's just sleeping, she's not dead," dr phelps smiled as they all nodded their heads, breathing a sigh of relief

"thanks, dr phelps. i think we're okay to watch her now. go and eat something, i'm sure you're starving, thank you again," max whispered as dr phelps nodded his head and left shortly after as i felt max grab my hand

whenever you're ready, whenever you're ready

willow was on the last stretch of her life before her cancer would take over her life and slowly kill her. she had been spending the last month on hospice treatment at her home in the netherlands with her family, the extended f1 grid family and dr phelps. the thing that hurt everyone the most other than the obvious was how much younger she looked. even though she was still just a kid at nine-years-old. she was weak, skinny and basically unrecognisable. to the point where penelope, blue jaye and the rest of the step-siblings and niece and nephews sometimes couldn't recognise willow. she had just helped her family celebrate her brother's birthday just three weeks shy of coming back home for hospice care. she managed to get healthy enough to sit on her brother's lap at a restaurant and sing happy birthday to him with the rest of the family. however, straight after, willow's health quickly declined and had her bedridden ever since.

willow's pov

i was so tired and weak and i always felt so sick that all i wanted to do was just sleep. however, i knew if i did close my eyes, there was a chance i wouldn't open them again. and that would, no pun intended, kill my entire family but especially my brother. so, for the sake of my brother and the rest of my family, i tried. i tried so hard to keep my eyes open until i physically couldn't any longer.

"hey chickadee, you alright?" daniel yawned as he slowly woke up, charles already awake, nudging max and lando as they opened their eyes as well

for context, these four crazies had been with me all night. whilst mum, kelly and the other f1 drivers volunteered to watch the other children whilst dr phelps could actually sleep through the night properly. because, normally, it's dr phelps that stays with me overnight in my bedroom, not my family.

"mm, i've been better danny but, you know, it's life," i smirked weakley as he gave me a sad smile

max hadn't let go of my hand, i started to stroke my finger against his hand as i gave him a small smile, "maxie, will i be forgotten about?" i mumble as max gasps out, tears slowly landing on my hand

"oh, honey, no, never. you'll always be with me, mum, kelly, penelope and blue jaye. blue and the rest of the siblings and penelope will be told everything about their older sister," he sniffled softly as i nodded my head, barely even able to acknowledge daniel, lando and charles who watched on in devastation

"maxie? i'm...i'm tired. can i go to sleep? when can i go home?" i was so weak and tired, i had never felt so little and like an infant until now

max sniffled again, knowing the "home" i meant wasn't our physical home which my bedroom was in right now. daniel and charles tried to comfort him whilst lando comforted me.

"whenever you're ready, schatje," he cried into my hand as i breathed out softly, a small smile on face

can we, can we surrender? can we, can we surrender?"

it was now coming up to willow's last few days alive. and she was getting even more weaker if that was possible, as the days went on. she was slowly starting to surrender to her cancer and was wanting her brother and the family to do the same thing as well. they didn't deserve this. to have to constantly take care of her every single day when her brother and bonus family were meant to be coming into their next season of formula one. but, it seemed as though since the new beginnings and the cancer diagnosis and everything else with the new formula one season, they were for now extending the break a little longer for max until further notice. sacrificing it all to let him take care of her in her last months alive. willow saw it as something max didn't need, an extra "thing" he didn't need stressing over but he didn't. max saw it as being a hero and just doing what was right. being together as a family a little bit longer before he was away for majority of the year so he could take care of his dying sister.

willow's pov

today was a quiet day, no one really said anything. as though everyone knew that i was coming to the last stretch of my life. so, max, daniel, charles and lando all sat around my bed. whilst mum, kelly, heidi, alex and penelope/my siblings sat around my room. they were all so upset and it was the first time i had everyone in my room all at the same time since leaving the hospital and coming home. but, it was the first time i had really seen max so upset. sure, i had seen and heard him cry plenty of times but, not like this. and it sucked. i hated seeing anyone upset but none more so than my family, especially my brother. because it made me feel helpless, i mean, more than i already was. i literally couldn't move or do anything to make him feel better. hell, the only thing he wanted was for me to get better but, that was the one thing i definitely couldn't and have failed to do. slowly, the family started to trail out of my room leaving lando with me. they all took advantage of the new starbucks and convenience store that had been built right on the corner of the street we live on. the rest of the family decided to walk over to for some lunch whilst lando stayed back with me as that was the rule. i always needed at least one person to stay with me at all times, day and night.

"wanna know a secret, bug?" lando whispered as i looked up at him, mustering all the strength i had to hold his hand

"what is it lando?" i spoke softly, caressing his hand as he smiled

"i'm scared," what he said was so simple but it was heartbreaking as i nodded my head, believing him

"yeah? do you wanna know my secret?" i whispered as i held his hand slightly tighter as he combed his fingers through my hair as he nodded

"yeah, what is it?" he responded with a smile as i smiled back

"i'm scared too," i gulped as lando nodded his head

but he didn't bring it back up straight away which confused me. until he finally did lift his head back up when a exposed tear that i don't think he meant to release streamed down his cheek.

"oh, lando, don't cry," i whispered, slowly bringing my finger up to wipe it away which makes him laugh softly

"i'm scared, bug, of course, i'm going to cry," he whispered back as i smiled again, my finger that wiped his tear slowly coming back down to rest at my side

"you'll be fine, i promise lando ," i smiled as i fiddled weakly with my blanket as lando hummed

"how do you know, will? you won't be here for it?" he whimpered as i pressed my lips together before bringing my finger up again to wipe another one one of his tears

"i'll always be here lando, you just won't see me," i smiled as he sniffled, trying to look away as i struggled in grabbing his chin to look at me

"i...i'll miss you little bug," lando whimpered as more tears fell down his cheeks, chuckling, not because i was insensitive, thanks dad, not really, but because i was thinking the same thing

"i'll miss you too lando but, it's okay. i'll be the ghost that haunts you in your dreams every night *tearful giggles*. which sounds awful so, maybe not in your dreams but on the track. but, i'll be keeping you - all of you guys - safe. i'll give you signs every single day. if you ever need anything, just call my name, and i'll be there," i whispered to him as he nodded his head

he let his head fall into my arm as i cooed, my hand curving around the back of his head. i. then smoothed his hair to calm him down.

can we, can we surrender? i surrender

just like the day earlier, before willow and her family, said anything, it was figured out that she'd be spending some alone time with charles. in the same way she did with lando yesterday. with charles crying and willow trying to comfort him, soothing him, the nine-year-old suddenly felt at peace. almost as if her surrender was coming to its end. just like yesterday, charles had taken advantage of everyone else going around the corner for lunch. so, this time it was charles that stayed with willow.

willow's pov

"...willow...willow..." whispering to wake me up, my eyes fluttered open and i woke up, charles was sitting next to me

a small smile that barely reached his eyes on his face as he relaxed knowing i was still alive.

"...what's wrong charlie? are you okay?" i mumbled with worry, charles scoffed and shook his head

his lip then trembled as if he was about to cry - oh no, please charlie, don't cry. i feel like all i've seen lately is you guys cry or be sad. this wasn't the first time i had seen charlie cry but it was the first time i'd seen him cry like this. and i just want us to get through a day without someone crying.

"i don't care if i'm okay, are you okay willow?" he responded as i was taken aback - i had never really been asked that question in a while and, i wasn't so sure how to give a truthful answer

"umm...yeah i'm fi--" just as i was about to lie, charles caught me and prevented me even though i think he knew

he knew just like i did, that i wasn't lying on purpose. but because i just didn't know how to truthfully answer the question as he swallowed back a sob.

"--no you're not willow, please baby. don't lie to me, please tell me the truth sweetheart," he choked out as i looked up at him as my lip trembled

"i...i don't know charlie. i'm just...tired...so tired and i..." he cut me off, sobs softly wracking his body as his head fell onto my arm

"...please don't say it willow, please don't say it..." he sobbed as i took in a deep breath, as deep as i could and i whispered it

"...i'm done...i surrender...i'm ready..." i whispered as i fell asleep, my heart machine beating steadily, charles quietly sobbing as he brushed my hair back with one hand whilst the other one wiped away his tears

no one will win this time, i just want you back, i'm running to your side

it continued to come to willow's final days on earth and having one-on-one time with her family. and today, it was with daniel. also the girl when waking up after charles had fallen asleep, started to write some letters for her family. she just hoped they were intelligible enough to be understood.

willow's pov

as i woke up from my short little nap, taking a quick look at my vitals, to make sure i didn't need to scream for dr phelps, i smiled. i saw daniel. with a small smile, with his arms crossed and his feet weirdly crossed as he rested his weight on the side post of my door frame.

"hey goober, am i allowed to enter your counselling room?" daniel joked as i smiled and laughed slightly

this entire time, daniel had been trying to make me laugh and, he finally did it. and, in all honesty, the both of us couldn't have been happier.

"a nine-year-old is qualified enough to be a therapist? nice joke danny *giggles*. but, yes, you may enter, no one is stopping you from entering. as, this appointment is all yours, mr ricciardo. speaking of, what's up daniel, how are you dealing with this?" and yes, it went from zero to a hundred in seriousness quickly

but, it was because it is a serious topic as we both mirrored each other. crossed over arms and small smiles on our faces.

"i mean, i've been better but, i'm alright. but, most importantly, how are you willow? you haven't really cried once, why haven't you cried? you're meant to cry willow," daniel explained, his voice getting shaky quickly as i took in a deep breath and shrugged my shoulders

"i dunno," i shrugged, honestly, i had no idea why i hadn't cried yet

it was maybe because i didn't want to seem weaker than i already am. once again, thanks jos verstappen for that train of thought.

"you've got to know willow, please. before this whole thing became this, you were always crying. almost every day and now it's the other way around, why?" daniel pleaded as, once again, i just shrugged my shoulders

"i don't know daniel, that's my honest response," i shrugged as daniel just bit his lip to stop his sobs from getting too loud - this was the first time i'd actually seen daniel cry and it was really jarring

"just know that you are allowed to cry babe, no one is stopping you. hell, if you need to scream, just scream and we'll all be there to make it go away," daniel softly smiled as he gave me a kiss on the head as he then started to leave shortly after

but, before he could fully leave, i stopped him.

"...daniel, wait..." i called out, daniel stopping and turning around, smiling small

"...what's up bug, you okay?" he asked as he walked back over as i nodded my head but handed him something

"yeah, i'm okay. i just, i wanted to give you these since dr phelps can't take them. before you ask, i wrote everyone a letter as well as added a photo so you really don't forget me. and for the kids and my little verstappens, they have a separate letter even though i know they won't understand it until they're a lot older. and promise me you won't let them read the letters until after i die..." i muttered as i handed daniel the letters, i could tell he was struggling to accept the letters but did so anyway

"of course, i will. i'll make sure we won't forget you. i promise baby girl. thank you, willow," he whispered, kissing my cheek as i smiled as he walked out of my room for the shift change with dr phelps

flying my white flag, my white flag. my love, where are you, my love, where are you?

the countdown on willow's life was really quickly coming to an end and she wanted to make sure she got all the love, hugs and kisses and tears until her last breath. since the verstappen had said her final goodbye to blue jaye, penelope and her nieces and nephews, all of them not old enough to understand properly, cousins, uncles, aunties and parents, she had forced her brother and bonus f1 brothers to slowly get back into the f1 season (mostly max as he was the one that had taken the longest to return back). and this was so they were still working to some degree. and, on one of the days off, dr phelps let willow be alone with her brother and bonus brothers, not wanting to ruin it with them. and, it was comforting for the girl. the only talk between the group was every single memory that they shared together. willow, her brother, charles, daniel and lando were all cuddled up on the bed together.

willow's pov

talking about all the memories i've shared with my brother and bonus f1 brothers is the best way i could possibly begin the end of my time on this earth. max, charles, daniel and lando were all cuddled up together on my bed. thankful that it was quite large so, it was nice being so close to each other because it was truly comforting.

"...oh oh oh! i just remembered another one!" daniel piped out as we all laughed at the tone of his voice - it went high-pitched for those who were wondering why it was funny

"i remember we were being interviewed during one of the press conferences. willow, you were watching from the sidelines but you were so calm and collected that no one knew you were there until the end when it was mentioned. and you threw your hands up in such excitement because it was the first time you were being shouted out whilst being at a interview with us. it was the cutest thing ever and i literally remember that like it was yesterday!" daniel explained as we all smiled as i grabbed my drink bottle to have a drink to disguise an oncoming cough, feeling fine afterwards

"wow, i totally forgot about that dan, does anyone have any others?" lando giggled out as max piped up for the first time in a while

"i have one..." max piped up as we all turned to look at my brother who now looked as though he spends his days crying - which, he basically does at this stage when he isn't head first in the races

"what is it max?" daniel smiled as max took in a deep breath, puling me closer to him as i giggled softly

"when you ran into the parc ferme for the first time. you were waiting behind the barricades with mum and victoria but got too excited that the moment you knew they weren't looking, you took that as your chance...and you ran straight over to me. it was just after you got your cancer diagnosis and before i halted everything formula one. you had been looking forward to that grand prix for so long that no one could even think to be mad at you, not even mum and victoria, when you ran over to congratulate me on my win to give me a hug," max cuddled into me as i smiled - yeah that was a memory of mine that i remembered and well too

"another one was when me, penelope and kelly surprised mum on her birthday by making her that photo album. even though me and kelly were the ones that made it considering penelope is still young. but it was really cute seeing her reaction and how excited she was to receive it," i giggled softly as max and the other three agreed

just as we were about to continue our trip down memory lane, a knock came on my door. dr phelps behind it as he gave an apologetic look that he had to cut our time together short but, we understood.

"...hey guys. i am so sorry to do this but, i am afraid it is time to hook willow back up to all of her other machines that isn't her life-support machine. but, whilst i'm doing this, if anyone does have any concerns, queries or anything, do feel free to ask. and, if she's able to, willow can help me answer them, right wills?" dr phelps winked as i smiled and nodded my head

"of course, so, any questions?" i smiled softly as max moved away from the bed, as did lando, daniel and charles so dr phelps could hook me up to the other machines again

reason being was for a certain amount everyday, i'd have some time off of those machines, except for my life-support machine. even though i should have been kept on all of these machines, it was only because i was coming to the end of my life that i was taking breaks from the other crucial machines i was hooked up to.

i then noticed that charles had a question and he spoke up, "willow..." he begun as i smiled

"...yeah charlie, you got a question?" smiling at my favourite monégasque, i could tell that charles was going to break his own heart and then everyone else's with his question but i knew he had to ask it anyway

"how long will it take for you to die when all the machines are turned off, not just these ones you're getting hooked back onto?" charles gave me a worried look as i smiled, knowing he was terrified of seeing it with his own eyes

"it depends, charlie. and if i'm right, it could take a couple of hours or an entire day, is that right dr phelps?" i responded, still asking dr phelps for help as he nods his head, letting me know i was correct

"yes, however, whilst we're talking about life support machines, willow can obviously die before we make the decision to turn her off life support if and when we come to that decision. because, sadly, we will have to come to that choice. like anyone on life support, whether it's due to cancer or because they're clinically brain dead or whatever, of course they can succumb to whatever caused them to be on life support to have them pass away before their day of their life support getting turned off happens. it just means the life-support machine will still beep because that's how we'll know that it's happened and we'll still have to turn it off. just, it wouldn't be the main reason why they've passed on, it'll just be that they've passed on before having to manually take her off of life-support." dr phelps expanded and i could tell that nearly took charles to his knees

he managed to compose himself however as he nodded his head and squeezed my hand as i squeezed it back.

"any other questions?" i smiled as daniel took in a deep breath, max staying frozen, obviously knowing the answers to these questions

which is why he didn't say anything, not that i think he wanted to say anything anyway which was fair.

"will it hurt? like, will you be able to feel any of it happening?" another thing that daniel and the rest of my family had been worried about when we were all told that i'd die soon - if it would hurt as i smiled

as dr phelps shook his head, i responded, "not at all daniel, it'll be like falling asleep or as though your blinking but you don't open your eyes to blink again," i smiled as i grabbed a tight squeeze of daniel's hand as he nodded his head

i then looked at lando, i knew he wanted to say something. a way to stall dr phelps from eventually turning off the machines.

so, he did, "how would you feel if we went back to formula one full-time for the next week? would you be okay?" lando said softly as my eyes lit up, nodding my head

"oh my gosh! i'd love for you guys to go back to racing for the new season for the next week! seriously! i can have mum and if you want, you can have the wags and penelope here as well!" i was so excited as i think that released a lot of stress off of not just max but my bonus brothers as well

"well, then, that just leaves us to dedicate this season of formula one to you! and i don't care what you say!" daniel buts in which makes us all giggle

"oh, thank you daniel! you know you didn't need to do that! i love you!" i laughed as daniel hugged me again as he kissed my face

"nope, we're doing it! no matter how many times you refuse it, these races and wins are dedicated to you. we also agreed with the rest of the grid in advance anyway that they'd be dedicated to you so, no take backs!" daniel smiled as i rolled my eyes and smiled

"okay fine, if you feel like you need to, here is my full permission!" i smiled as my brother and bonus brothers cheered, making me giggle

my love, where are you? my love, where are you?

the hectic schedule of formula one was starting to slow down as it was starting to once again reach the end of the season. the races having more than a week or two of breaks in between. meaning that after this weeks race, it was a three week break before returning for the next triple header of races. it was during that race before the three week break before the next triple header that willow stayed alive. when, suddenly, during heidi and kika's (the girlfriends of daniel and pierre) shift of looking after their favourite little verstappen, willow's life support machine started to beat unevenly. that was when dr phelps said that, willow's time had come and heidi and kika had to say goodbye. both girls, of course, freaked out. the drivers were all in mexico for the mexican grand prix, nowhere near monaco. whilst the guys were either in their cars doing the race or the podium ceremony, heidi rang max's team principal, christian horner. telling him that it had happened peacefully and that it would be better if the drivers all returned back to monaco as quickly as possible. just so max and the drivers could fly over to monaco and say their goodbyes to their sister and adopted sister.

willow's pov

since the last catch up, i managed to keep strong throughout the last few grand prixs for the season of formula one. and today was their last grand prix before a three week break before the next triple header. they were currently in mexico for the mexico grand prix. even though i promised them i'd be alive by the time they finished the mexico grand prix, being well enough to see their next triple header of races. but, i had a feeling that i wasn't going to be able to do that. but, i did not think i'd get to the mexican grand prix and that would be the day it'd happen. as i half slept peacefully, with heidi, daniel's girlfriend and kika, pierre's girlfriend, softly singing to me and cuddling me in bed, my life support machine started to go awol as did my body. straight away, without hesitation, heidi and kika both shot right up, running to get dr phelps. this is it, i'm going to die tonight. i'm scared, heck, what's a word that means the same thing as scared but means even more? i mean, i genuinely thought i'd make it at least, at least, through the rest of the season, not the mexican grand prix!

"...kika, heidi, i...i'm tired, when can i go? i'm so tired," i sobbed, for the first time. wishing the rest of the family were here, so they knew i wasn't in pain

"oh, angel, it's alright baby girl!" heidi soothed, running her fingers through my hair as i weakly smiled

"heidi...kika...when...when can i let...let go?" it was like i was five again when i first seriously injured myself - i felt so young and like i was penelope's or blue jaye's age again as i sobbed weakly

"whenever you're ready baby girl, whenever you're ready," kika this time whispered as i whimpered and then, after another verse of kika and heidi singing, it happened, my life support machine started going, my body going, getting ready to flatline

beep....beep...beep...beep...beep...beep...beeeeeeeeeeeeeee....

i could hear everything. i could hear heidi, kika and dr phelps running to the bed. i could hear heidi screaming at dr phelps to try and keep me alive just for a few hours longer so mum, max and my f1 grid family could see me alive once more. just one last time. however, dr phelps couldn't so, kika got heidi to ring christian, screaming and sobbing down the phone line. grabbing her phone to ring christian horner, red bull's team principal telling him i was gone. hearing heidi and kika cry and scream like that hurt, it felt like i was getting thrown into a wall or getting stabbed near my heart.

"...dr phelps! please! do something! just keep her alive for a few hours longer please!"heidi screamed, sobbing as i could just picture dr phelps and him shaking his head, telling both heidi and kika that he, unfortunately, couldn't and that, it was time to pull the plug

"heidi, kika, please, darlings, i can't. i'm not allowed to, there is nothing more for me to do for willow. she wasn't in any pain girls, you could see that, she is in complete peace. she was happy that you two were with her in her last moments when her family or the f1 grid couldn't be. she couldn't feel anything at all. she was at peace with it, please, i know it is hard but, it's time to let her go you two," dr phelps said softly as kika and heidi's cries got louder and more grief-stricken

"i...i can't let her go, dr phelps! please, just a little bit longer, let her brother and her f1 family fly home to see her, please! let them say goodbye!" heidi cried out as dr phelps just shook his head again, he couldn't, there was nothing else that could have been done to keep me alive - kika struggling to comfort heidi as she was also distraught and sobbing

"i'm sorry heidi but, i have to. are you stable enough to ring christian to let him know so he can pass this information to the guys?" dr phelps spoke calmly but with a tinge of sadness as heidi nodded her head - kika also worried that she wouldn't be able to

"yes," heidi was trying so hard to calm herself down before calling christian as kika remained stuck to her side in comfort

daniel's pov

the amount of fun all of us drivers were having at the mexican grand prix was insane. but not just me, lando, max, charles and pierre but the entire f1 grid. i genuinely never thought that we'd be able to get this happy considering what was going on back home in monaco with our sister willow and our girlfriend's (pierre and mine) who was looking after her. however, as the race and podium celebrations finished, christian walked over. he looked distressed and panicked. a sheer difference from the joy he had on his face moments ago considering it was a double rb podium with max in first and checo in third, lando coming second. shedding off my fireproofs, i could tell something wasn't right. it looked like the rest of the teams who also knew about willow's cancer and her recent decline in health did too.

from the look on christian's face, we could all tell it was serious. especially when only just a second ago, lando and charles had made max laugh. the first time the older brother had truly laughed in what felt like forever. but then, in a split second, he was back to his grief-stricken face.

all of us ran to the red bull garage, including those who weren't racing for red bull to where christian was as he fights with himself as to how he should tell us. max grabs ahold of my arm, which i don't mind. this could very well possibly be about willow. i also snake my arm around his waist and pull him close to me. then, christian dropped the gauntlet and told us when everything just came crashing down around us, not just for max, all of us.

"...guys, before i tell you this news, i want you all to take a deep breath and compose yourselves, okay?" christian begins as max looks at me, without even needing to be told, he already knew what christian was going to say and my heart shattered at the look in max's eyes

"what's wrong christian? are willow, kika and heidi okay?" pierre questioned, hoping they were okay as christian gave a slight shake of the head

"i...i'm sorry guys but, no, she isn't okay. heidi just called me in absolute hysterics. willow was half asleep half awake, both girls, heidi and kika was with her. the girls singing her to sleep and cuddling when, out of nowhere, willow's life support machine went awol. as did willow's body and then it stopped..." hearing that just completed my shattered heart but it obliterated max's heart

he was hysterical and i had no idea what to do. max's legs had almost collapsed from underneath him and i had no idea what to do. so, i just fell down with him, grabbing him just in time and turned his head into my shoulder, his body into mine. and he wept as i rubbed his back, his fingers digging into my back, not caring if it hurt - even though i knew it wasn't going to help him and nothing any of us did was going to bring willow back, it was the one thing i could do to help him control something.

the silence that filled the red bull garage was piercing. it was so painfully quiet as i looked at christian to continue telling us what happened. although i knew max didn't want to hear it, it was just so we had clarity. all i needed to know was if it hurt our little verstappen or not.

"...was...was it painful? like, was she in any pain?" i stammered out as i could feel the tears welling in my eyes stream down my cheeks as i took in a shaky breath, holding max tightly - christian giving me an emapthetic look

"not at all, daniel. heidi and kika were told by dr phelps that it did not hurt at all and that she was in complete peace. she couldn't feel a single thing daniel. i'm now going to tell the other team principals and the rest of the officials for the mexican grand prix. on top of the three week break, if any of you need it, we can push the first race of the triple header by another week so you guys get four weeks off if needed as bereavement leave," christian then announced as all of us drivers just stood in shock as we all looked at each other and nodded our heads

"thank you christian. thanks so much. we'll grab our stuff and get to the car so we can get to the jets," i gulped as i knew this meant that the whole journey back to monaco, max would be inconsolable and so would the rest of the verstappens (kelly and penelope included)

and that, that made the rest of us feel horrible because we were all in this family. and we were all bonus brothers to willow.

𓆩♱𓆪

the drive to the plane and then the plane ride was awful. straight up awful. no one could say anything, not even the songs of the radio in the car or jet could make us sing or get excited. it was as though they knew the bereavement that we had just gone through. as every single song was one sad song after another. max couldn't stop crying, which, we didn't blame him for, whilst charles held him close. whilst pierre and i were told to be kept an eye on by fernando and checo since we were the other two (after max) without our partners since kika and heidi were already in monaco with dr phelps and willow. and carlos was wondering how on earth penelope and the kids were going to be told since they couldn't be kept in the dark.

finally arriving at the house in monaco, we were all dreading it. seeing all our cars there, telling us that whilst it seemed like it to others, we actually weren't there at all during willow's last moments. then, finally, for the first time since telling us, christian spoke up. letting us know that we had arrived and it was time for us to go inside the house.

"...come on guys, we're here," christian spoke softly, now this was something we were all scared of happening during any of the grand prixs but most definitely the ones out of europe - willow dying and us not being there for her

walking into the house felt strange. it felt eerie and like it was the most obvious thing that someone, a literal child, my adopted sister and my best friend's sister, willow, had just died. i grabbed a tight hold of max. my hand snaking around max's waist as we walked into the house before we saw kelly who immediately went for max. heidi, my girlfriend and pierre's girlfriend kika are the next people we saw. it was so easy to tell that they both had been crying the whole time, just like max. neither girl, kika and heidi, said anything, we didn't need them to. pierre, max and i just included the girls into the hold we had with max and kelly and we just held each other as they cried. i then went up to willow's room quickly to grab the letters before coming back down where everyone else had taken a seat on the couch.

"good that everyone is sat down but umm, i have something i need to give to you all..." i trailed off as i noticed how everyone watched me with such intensity

"...these. willow made me promise her that i would keep these letters a secret and that i would give them to you or even mention them until she died. we have the choice of reading them aloud to each other now or reading them privately whenever you feel ready to do so. there is one for each of us. including penelope, blue jaye and the other little verstappens and max. and along with the letter she added a photo of herself so we wouldn't forget her," i was so calm, except for the little falter when mentioning the letters for penelope, blue jaye and the rest of the little verstappens and it was scary

but, honestly, i think it was nice for them all but max and kelly especially, to have someone to be so calm. i then gulped, grabbing my own letter as well as max's, ours being the two on the top.

"thanks, daniel," max muttered, kelly smiling gratefully as i smiled at the both of them with a small head nod

"of course max," i smiled softly as i then walked out, with the idea to read my own letter privately because i knew i would cry and i didn't want to cry in front of everyone nor set max and possibly kelly off

i mention kelly because even though kelly is only max's girlfriend and not anything else, she still absolutely adored willow. kelly loved willow in the same way she loved her daughter penelope. and i knew kelly would do everything she could to comfort max and the verstappens and help them through this indescribable loss, the same way the rest of the f1 grid will when he eventually returns.

i watched then as charles walked into willow's room for one last goodbye alongside max, kelly having just stepped out as i stepped in.

whenever you're ready, whenever you're ready

charles' pov

sliding our letters on the bedside table, max and i were sitting with willow. she looked like she was fast asleep like she was about to wake up from that sleep. tightly holding his sister's hand, max refused to believe it, his eyes looking at his letter. he refused to believe that his younger sister had actually died and done so peacefully. he wanted to believe that she was just going to wake up. holding her hand like he was and watching her like this took him back, all the way back to when he was meeting her for the very first time. and he would have her sleeping on his bare chest. yeah, sorry sophie, sleep time with willow was always going to be a brother/sister thing. except, that wasn't what was going to happen this time. this time, she was nine, staying at that age forever, and max was in his mid twenties, thereabouts and she wasn't going to wake up from a nap and have some quality time with her brother. this time, she was sleeping forever, peacefully. no more pain and suffering. no more crying in private, behind her family's back, even though we suspected it. no more being tired and scared if she was going to wake up the next time or not. this time, willow knew what the true meaning of peace meant. and she was only nine, not allowed to get another year older as the rest of her family would. not allowed to get to watch her family grow up and potentially watch them travel through life.

max's pov

i wasn't ready for this. i was never going to be ready for this day to come. she looked like she was three again, having her afternoon nap. so she could get energised for some more playtime with her brother, which was me. she looked so peaceful like she was sleeping. seeing her like this was a double-edged sword. on one side, made me happy because, like charles' dad herve, she was no longer in any pain and she was now going to live life with herve forever free and in peaceful, painless bliss. however, on the other side, it made me upset. and the fact that she was no longer allowed to have her tenth birthday, or even her eleventh birthday. not even her twelfth or thirteenth birthdays either. she wasn't even allowed to watch her other siblings or penelope or her nieces and nephews grow up in the future. i just wanted my sister to wake up and wipe away me and her family's tears away and tell us that she was okay. that she was going to survive another day with me, with us, her family. for the first time that charles and i had been in here, i spoke up.

"...she...she looks so peaceful charles. like she's three again and i'm still going crazy at the fact that i have another sister," i whimpered out as charles sighed as he rubbed my back

"yeah, she really does max," charles smiled softly as i sniffled, wiping a tear from my cheek as i smiled as well

"i...i always told her that, if she needs to leave, she can do it whenever she was ready. i never wanted her to be in pain charles. neither did mum, victoria or kelly, but, i just wish her ready was our ready..." i choked out as charles pulled me in for a hug as i cried again

"i know max, i know," he whispered repeatedly as i continued to cry

"i...i miss my sister," i sobbed out as i could feel charles tighten as if he was keeping himself from crying in front of me

"have you read the letter that daniel gave you, yet, max? maybe that could help?" charles whispered as i staggered and grabbed the letter

"no, i...i can't. it hurts too much to even look over at it," i whispered, tears stinging my waterline and cheeks as charles smiled small

"it's okay max, i can't read mine either and it seems like daniel can't either. i thought i could but, i really couldn't. maybe we'll read them as a group together in a few weeks, maybe that'll be easier," charles whispered as i nodded my head, just resting it on his shoulder

whenever you're ready, whenever you're ready

now, max left and it was just charles and willow. it was the next day after being told willow had died. unlike max, charles couldn't find it within him to leave his little verstappen alone for the night. dr phelps had requested at least a week or less from the coroner's before arriving to take willow's body away. charles just couldn't bring himself to leave her in that room on her own. he felt like he was being begged without willow even saying anything for him to stay with her. and, he did. he talked to her and he cried and that was the circle of events that he did throughout the night until he fell asleep. his head resting on willow's exposed and untouched arm.

charles' pov

i just couldn't do it. i couldn't leave willow alone. i just couldn't. unlike max and kelly since they had to continue taking care of penelope and the rest of the verstappen's, i wasn't able to. i felt as though willow, without even saying anything, was asking me to stay with her. so, i just started to talk to her. with that obviously came the crying as she actually couldn't respond. and that just made me upset that i wasn't getting any responses from the little verstappen. which then made me feel weird for talking to the deceased girl. this then kept on going on a repeated cycle until i fell asleep. resting my head on her exposed and untouched arm.

"...it feels so weird without you, mon ange. it's like, i don't know. nothing seems fun anymore. the rest of our f1 season will no longer be properly exciting anymore. sure, it's only been a day since you died but, i've never seen your brother so burnt out and exhausted. i'm scared willow, what are we going to do without you? what are we going to do without you after this f1 season ends?" i cried out, i was truly lost, what were we going to do?

sure, we were stil going strong in this season of f1 with no signs of slowing down but, it was obvious that there were talks of the grid changing and evolving again. but, nothing was fully set in stone yet. we had a great few years as the current grid and we had willow with us for nine of those years. she's literally been with us basically since some of us have started in f1. now she was gone. and it was like we were all having to rebuild our lives all over again after losing our best friend, a similar thing definitely going through max's mind too, since this is the first time he's lost someone so close to him before.

"please, willow, don't do this to us. we always told you to leave whenever you were ready but, why didn't you understand we meant our ready, not your ready!" i sobbed out once again, crying into willow's clean white bedsheets

"fuck sake! it feels like our little f1 family has just stopped spinning but everyone else's continues to spin around us. what are we going to do? what will we do now?" i couldn't stop crying, it was quite embarrassing. however, i slowly found myself getting tired

"i love you so much willow. whilst the loss of my dad and godfather hurt, and is something i'll never understand for the rest of my life, i'll never be able to understand this. the loss of my beautiful, sweet, forever young baby red bull. god, willow, if you're up there with my dad and jules, please let them know that we love them and miss them," i sobbed out as i felt my eyes close and all of a sudden, i was knocked out asleep, my head resting on willow's exposed and untouched arm

𓆩♱𓆪

can we, can we surrender? can we, can we surrender? i surrender, i surrender

liked by kellypiquet, landonorris, danielricciardo, heidiberger, charlesleclerc, pierregasly, victoriaverstappen and 12,000k others

maxverstappen1 willow violet verstappen. she was my little sister. and my family got the honour of having her as ours for nine years. and how i wish every single day i open my eyes that willow got to do the same thing and have more than just nine years. ever since the day victoria and i found out we were getting another sibling, we knew the risk but also the pure joy of mum and dad keeping the pregnancy. but, they did anyway and boy are we glad they did. whilst this post only shows me, kelly, penelope and willow, it's only because all the other photos that willow has with the other siblings, victoria's kids and the f1 grid are from their last few days together. and because all the other kids are still so young and don't know what's just happened and the beveravement we've just had, i don't want to share them online, not now anyway. watching my eight year old sister get diagnosed with cancer and then get to see her celebrate her ninth birthday, help celebrate our mum's birthday as well as my own birthday and some grand prix's will always be something we are so grateful for as a family. even though she didn't get to see her tenth birthday and every other birthday after that whilst the rest of us get to turn another year older and meet and watch the other kids in the family grow up for the short time she had with them. watching little willow go through her cancer and then the short amount of treatment we had her on for, we always told her that whenever she was ready to go, she could go. but, no one who loses anyone to cancer or any terminal illness admits that when they say that statement, they don't mean when their family member is ready to go. they mean when everybody else is ready. and that wasn't any different for me and my family with willow. we didn't want her to leave when she was ready because we knew it would be way before the rest of us were ready. but, now writing this and posting it halfway through this years formula one season, i am so proud of my little sister for letting go when she was ready to. and not feeling like she had to wait for everyone else around her to be ready for her to leave. she knew she wasn't going to be painless unless she let herself go and she has done just that. like i mention literally everywhere and anywhere i can, being your older brother, willow violet, was the best thing in the world for me. and i have no doubts that your mum and other siblings would say the very same thing. we all love you to the moon, the stars and the milky way, schatje. maxie will talk to you soon, sleep tight princess 🤍

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kellypiquet our beautiful little girl. your beautiful mini-me

maxverstappen1 kellypiquet i know! i remember how upset dad and mum got when willow looked like me

landonorris breaking my heart here, max! we miss you every day willow

maxverstappen1 landonorris sorry lando but i can't deal with the feeling of people forgetting her. and i miss her too 🤍

danielricciardo my god, max, when will my tears stop? i miss your cuddles, willow 🤍

maxverstappen1 danielricciardo good question i have no idea and she gave the best cuddles didn't she?

heidiberger all of these photos and more and i still wish she was here so we could take more 🤍

maxverstappen1 heidiberger i know. i think about that every day and my heart shatters

charlesleclerc our sweet willow violet. miss you, mon ange 🤍

maxverstappen1 charlesleclerc 🤍🤍

pierregasly max, this is beautiful. miss you willow 🤍

maxverstappen1 pierregasly thank you pierre🤍

victoriaverstappen oh stop it max! my heart is broken in two 🤍

maxverstappen1 victoriaverstappen i don't want people to forget our sister vic🤍

f1fanatic i cannot even imagine how these last two months have been for you guys. willow was such a sweet little girl. for sure everyone's favourite verstappen! i remember how much she loved victoria's littles as well as penelope 🤍

maxverstappen1 f1fanatic i can't either and then i remember. and she really was, she was such a sweet soul with too much love to carry in her tiny body, especially for penelope and her nieces and nephews 🤍

fin

this took nearly all day to rewrite so please love this please and thank you! also, i legit went back and forth from having this be about child loss or sibling loss so many times when i finally decided sibling loss cause i couldn't have it within me to have max be an actual biological dad to a daughter and then have the kid pass away. so, for part two, i'll have the timelines change a little so when she's older, it's still the same f1 grid like it is now in 2024 but no ages have changed? if you know what i mean...

©⠀amberjazmyn's original work. do not translate or steal any of my fics. 2024

#formula one #angst #max verstappen #trigger warnings #mentions of terminal illnesss #tears #do not read if it triggers you #sibling loss

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itgetsdark-x · 2 years ago

Text

I Wanna See You Beggin’ (Part 4)

Summary: Joel Miller is your dad’s best friend, you knew it was wrong, you knew it would only cause trouble but you couldn’t help the way you ached for the man. (Part One | Part Two | Part Three)

Disclaimers: (Title is from I Hate Myself for Loving You — Joan Jett & The Blackhearts), I do not own any of these characters / people but I did write these words, I don’t give permission for this to be copied anywhere else 😌

Characters: dbf!Joel Miller x f!Reader

Word Count: 7.3k

Warnings: 18+ (minors dni, pls), unprotected p in v (pls be responsible and wrap before u tap), mild violence / swearing / general angst, age gap (reader mid twenties, Joel would be late 40s), no outbreak in this au.

A/N: woweeee, I am still blown away by the interest in my dumb writing! thank you for all the reblogs / likes / comments and thank you for your patience whilst I got my act together and wrote this fourth part! I feel like it sucks, if it does, I’m so sorry! I think I have one more part in me, with this series which would include a small time jump to finish it off. if people are interested, I will definitely write it. enjoy and I hope it makes y’all happy, finally hehehe. love u all <3

“Y/N?” Your dad called louder this time and you slapped Joel as you jolted awake, your fist hit his chest and he spluttered as he awoke from his deep sleep.

“Fuck, shit. Fuck. Joel, get up, get the fuck up and get dressed.” You hissed and Joel sat up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. You immediately went into action and pulled your pyjamas on hastily, your shirt was inside out and you almost fell over as you stumbled down your stairs to answer the front door.

“M-morning dad, you woke me up.” You mumbled, your voice panicked. “What’re you doing here, are you okay?” You lied as he entered your hallway.

You could sense it, your dad was pissed, he rarely ever got angry but whenever he did, you knew it immediately.

“Well uh, I went to Joel’s house to pick him up but it was weird, his truck wasn’t on his drive nor was he actually home. I shrugged it off and assumed it was just ‘cause he went to site by himself so imagine my surprise, sweet pea, when I drive past here and see his truck parked up out the front of your house.” Your dad spoke and you could feel the annoyance, his eyes were scanning the area, looking behind you to see if he could spot Joel. “You wanna tell me why it is exactly that his truck is out front?”

“Look, I, um. We, uh, fuck.” You cursed and your cheeks flushed a deep red as you shifted awkwardly on the spot, your brain not moving nearly fast enough to come up with a convincing lie.

“Just… Where is he?” Your dad asked and pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration.

“M-my bedroom…” You answered quietly. “B-but it’s not what you think!” You called after your dad as he didn’t hesitate to climb your stairs quickly.

“Miller,” Your dad barked and your stomach flipped, you felt sweaty and sick. “What. The. Fuck have you been doin’ with my little girl?” He shouted and slammed your bedroom door open, you followed your dad and tried to grab his arm back and take him downstairs. “Get downstairs, right now.” Your dad hissed at you.

Joel was stood in your bedroom, he had pulled his boxers and shirt on and was just trying to button up his jeans. It was clear as day; entirely evident what had been happening here; it was written over both of your faces and the fact Joel’s shirt and jeans were unbuttoned only supplied further, concrete proof to your dad.

You dad lurched at Joel, his forearm pinned the older male against the wall as he pushed his arm across Joel’s chest and without thinking for another second, your dad planted a hard punch to Joel’s face. You heard a sickening crunch and you winced before you leapt into the room and tried to peel your dad’s frame off of Joel’s.

“I told you to fucking go downstairs. Go.” Your dad barked and you flinched away from him, that seemed to soften your dad’s eyes ever so slightly but the rage soon built once again as Joel spoke.

“I’m sorry, bud. It’s not what you think. I haven’t been preying on her, I care about her. A lot.” Joel spoke, trying to calm your father down. “Can we please sit down and talk about this?”

“So you haven’t been fucking her then?” Your dad spat and it made the guilt in your stomach bubble ferociously.

“Dad.” You whispered. “I’m a woman, I can choose whom I have relationships with. You don’t get to decide that.” Your voice shook as you looked at Joel, you wanted to take him into your arms and stroke his hair, just do anything to soothe him. He dabbed at his nose with his sleeve as blood soaked it and your stomach turned again.

“So you decide to fuck my best friend, a man older than your own father? Like a cheap whore.” He spat at you and you felt tears prick your eyes before they fell silently down your cheeks.

Joel pushed your father off him, whilst he was turned to look at you and he grunted with the effort.

“You don’t get to speak to her like that.” Joel shouted, squaring his large shoulder up to your dad.

Your dad laughed, it was dark and fuelled by anger. “Yeah, well, you don’t get to tell me how to do shit. You’ve lost that privilege.”

“I know you’re upset, dad and I’m really sorry, I didn’t want this to happen, not like this… b-but, but I really like Joel.” You spoke quietly as you steadied your panicked breathing.

Joel looked at you with a soft smile as he mopped up the last of his blood that was staining his moustache. His eyes were soft as he looked at you and he felt such pride that you would even stick up for him to your dad. He knew your dad’s anger was justified which is why it was hard to argue his case.

“Look, I’ll take the day off work, I’ll go home and then maybe you could both come over this evening and we could talk about this, calmly. I know you’re angry, and trust me, I would be too. I am sorry you found out this way but I’m not sorry for this happening.” Joel’s voice was edged with coldness but he remained calm as he spoke to your dad.

“You can take everyday off, ‘bud’. You’re fired, so if I see your face around any of the sites, you’ll be a dead man. You had a kid, you should understand how fucked up this is. Maybe it’s for the best your daughter isn’t around.” You dad said heartlessly.

“Dad!” You gasped disappointedly.

Joel winced at your dad’s words and they cut deeper than any punch could.

“We will speak later. I’m sorry for yelling at you, sweet pea. It’s not your fault, he took advantage, you’re just a kid.” You dad whispered and he went to give you a kiss on the cheek but you flinched away from his touch.

“I’m a woman, I’m closer to thirty than I am to twenty, dad. I’m a fully grown woman. I’m sorry you found out this way but we’ll only be speaking if you’ll sit down with the two of us. Understand?” Your voice wobbled as you spoke and soon the tears were falling down your cheeks yet again.

Your dad threw his hands up in defeat and walked out of your room silently, the thick atmosphere of your room was shattered when the front door closed and you jumped.

The way your dad acted was entirely out of character, he usually never so much as raised his voice at anyone and especially not at you. He wasn’t an aggressive man, so the way he reacted truly shook you to your core.

“Joel,” you cried and went to hold his arm but he avoided your touch. “Joel please,” your voice was coming out as wrecked cries. “Please don’t shut me out, don’t let him get into your head like that. I’m sorry for what he said. He’s just angry and he didn’t think. I’m sorry.” You sobbed further and fell to your knees dramatically, you brought your arms around yourself and cried.

“Peach,” Joel whispered, his voice shaking also. You looked up at him and his eyes were blurry with tears and it only broke you further. “Your dad is right, I’ve been taking advantage and maybe we didn’t realise because we were blinded with the pure pleasure of it all.” He spoke and he knelt down to look you in the eyes.

You shook your head and wiped your eyes roughly to clear your vision. “N-no!” You shouted. “You don’t get to fuck me and then tell me you’re taking advantage.” You shouted and weakly punched at Joel’s arms in frustration. “You don’t get to do that.”

He winced as you took your frustrations out on him but he took it all. “I care about you, peach, a lot but… this is my life, I need that job.” He sighed as he took your flailing hands to hold them steady.

You tried to pull away from his grip with a whine of frustration as he only held you tighter. “Go then.” You stated coldly, tears still falling down your cheeks as you wiped them away in vein. “If the job means that much to you, go. Go apologise to my dad for ‘taking advantage’ of me, go tell him it was the wrong thing to do even though we both know that it’s a lie.” You cried, openly and blatantly now, you let the tears fall as your voice shook with effort.

Joel enveloped you in his arms, his hand stroked through your hair and he shushed you softly. “Baby girl, it’s okay.” He whispered into the top of your head and he closed his eyes. “It’s not as simple as that. I really care about you and fuck it, I guess part of me didn’t want to admit it, especially not this early on but clearly, I love you. I’ve cared about you for years, I just didn’t understand to what capacity. It’s just… I can’t let this ruin my life, or yours for that matter… If your dad says anything to anyone… I’ll be a wanted man, people will be furious with me.” He sighed.

His words cut through you like a hot knife through butter and it only seemed to make things worse. “I’m a woman!” You cried quietly, wiping your eyes again to try and clear them. “Why doesn’t anyone understand that? I’m a fully legal and consenting woman! I pay taxes!!” You laughed through a cry which caused Joel to chuckle above you.

“We knew we were crossing a very strong line when we slept together last Friday, we knew it would cause issues but we did it anyway. And I’m glad we did… it’s just, I think I need to go home and think about this all. You should think too, if we decide to pursue this further it might mean your old man won’t speak to you again…” Joel spoke quietly and released you from his arms.

“I —“ Your voice cracked and you took a deep, calming breath in to try to resume some composure. “I don’t need to think about this, Joel. I’ve wanted you for months, if not years, it’s actually kind of embarrassing. Sure, a lot of that lies in lust for you but I want you completely, I want to be yours. I- I want a future with you.” You mumbled the last part of your sentence.

Joel cringed internally at your words; it made his heart swell at your kindness, your sincerity in wanting a future with him but he couldn’t help but cringe at the fact you would give everything up for him. He didn’t feel worthy of it. He felt like a complete screw up.

“Peach,” his voice shook as you looked into his big, sad brown eyes. “You need your dad, he needs you, you know this. I can’t, I mean, I won’t let you throw that away on me.” He said sadly and slumped his back against the wall, creating some space between you both.

“Joel,” you said sternly. “If my father can’t get over this, then that is on him. He should care more for my happiness than the awkwardness of the situation. I understand that it’s a difficult thing for him but on our one date we have been on, you treated me so much better than any guy my age. You’re a gentleman, you’ve been nothing short of that.” You finalised.

“That’s sweet of you, baby girl. It is but, you need to be sure of this. It’ll get a whole lot more ugly before it gets better.” Joel sighed.

You pinched at the bridge of your nose, closed your eyes and sighed frustratedly. “God, I just don’t understand why it effects him so much?! You’ve known me for years, you wouldn’t hurt me! Surely that’s better than some stupid fuck boy my age just looking for a quick fuck and chuck.” You grumbled and Joel couldn’t help but laugh.

You shot a warning glare in his direction and he bit back another laugh. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” He laughed and threw his hands up in surrender. “It’s just… You’re adorable when you’re grumpy. It’s not the time but, you’re just so cute.” He smiled.��

“Shut up.” You grumbled and rolled your eyes. “We need to get you cleaned up, I’m gonna text my boss and tell him I’m taking the day off. I’m a mess and I couldn’t think of anything worse than client calls today.” You stood from the floor and wiped your face with your hands. “Go get in the shower, I’ll grab a towel for you and bring it in.” You held your hand out for Joel to take, he took it gently and pulled himself to his feet.

You didn’t release his hand, instead you reached up to cup the side of his face so you could place a chaste kiss to his lip, the faint metallic tang of blood lingered on your lips and you sighed softly.

“Joel, for what it’s worth, I’m glad he found out about us. It’s taken the pressure off of it and now, we can work on winning him over.” You said softly and looked into his soft eyes, you could see the tiredness and sadness hiding in his deep irises.

“I am too, peach. I’m sorry for how he shouted at you though, you don’t deserve that. Not now, not ever.” He concluded and pressed a kiss to your forehead. “Come join me in the shower?” He asked with a boyish smile.

“Give me five minutes to call my boss and I’ll be right there. Go warm the water up for me.” You smiled and pushed him towards the bathroom.

That’s exactly what you did, you phoned your boss and explained you weren’t feeling great and needed the day off, thankfully, he didn’t ask too many questions and was pretty forgiving. Once that was taken care of, you grabbed a couple fresh towels from the laundry closet and headed to your bathroom; you smiled to yourself as you heard Joel hum lowly and saw steam spilling from the room.

There he was, in all his rough perfection, all strong lines and a light frown settled into his features. He had his head tipped back into the hot stream of water and the hot water cascaded down his body like a river. Your breath caught in your throat slightly as you watched him and it hit you all at once, like a brick, you had such strong feelings for this man and finally, you were allowing yourself to feel them all at once. Your shoulder was leant up against the doorframe when Joel finally tilted his head back up and opened his eyes to see you watching him.

“Didn’t realise you were such a peeping Tom, darlin’.” He huffed out a chuckle as he cleared the water from his face with his hands.

“Just admiring you, s’all.” You smiled. “You’re pretty damned handsome, Joel Miller.”

“And you,” he held a hand out to you, ushering you forward. “Peach, are the prettiest thing I’ve ever seen.”

Your heart fluttered at his words and once again, a blush settled high in your cheeks. He had such a physical effect on you with his tender words. You took a step towards the bathtub and smiled at him.

“Are you trying to have sex with me again, Miller?” You asked with a soft smirk.

“Maybe. Maybe not.” He shrugged. “But get in here with me anyway.” Joel grinned before holding his nose when the pain rippled through his face.

You undressed from your pyjamas and stepped into the bathtub with Joel, he made room for you and allowed you to have the direct stream of water to flow over you. You sighed happily as the hot water washed away all the tension in your body.

You held onto Joel’s arm tightly as you went onto your tiptoes to inspect his face further, your delicate fingers held his chin as you rotated his head to get a full view of his features.

“Do you think it’s broken? Do I need to take you to the ER?” You asked worriedly.

Joel shook his head. “Nah, not broken or anything darlin’, just really fucking sore. I’ve broken my nose before and it was a lot worse. It’ll be fine.” He dismissed with a weak smile.

“I’m sorry,” you sighed and stroked Joel’s arm.

He shook his head at you, “Please stop apologisin’, wasn’t your fault.”

You reached behind you and grabbed the shampoo off of the shelf in your shower. “Let me wash your hair.” You smiled at him and began to lather the fruit-scented liquid into his salt and pepper hair.

Joel hummed in appreciation and dipped his head down so you had better access; your finger nails gently scratched at his scalp and he let out a soft groan. You smiled as you washed Joel’s hair, it felt so domesticated and natural.

“Got a few new grey hairs here.” You teased as you took the shower head and directed the stream of water to his head.

“Do not!” He grumbled which caused you to laugh again.

You finished washing his hair and Joel switched your positions so he could return the favour, his rough fingers massaged your scalp before he let his fingers drop lower to massage your tense neck and shoulders. Your back was turned to the older male as his fingers worked the tight knots in your muscles loose. You hummed as your body relaxed further and Joel dipped his head down to pepper soft kisses to your neck.

“You’re so beautiful.” Joel whispered as he kissed your neck and shoulder; you could feel his body pressed to yours, his cock hardening with each kiss he pressed to your soft skin.

“Shut up.” You giggled affectionately; Joel nipped at your skin in response which caused you to yelp quietly.

“Manners.” He reminded you as his hands worked their way down your body.

His hands landed on your breasts, he gave the flesh of them a testing squeeze and let his fingers tweak your nipples softly.

“God, I want you just as bad as the first time.” He hummed into your neck, his fingers twisting the delicate buds of your hardening nipples.

You made a soft noise of appreciation, your ass pressed against Joel harder and you wiggled your hips for him. Joel’s hands slid down your torso before sliding behind you to cup your ass, he spread your cheeks and gripped at the flesh tightly, you leant forward slightly to give the male more access.

He made a guttural noise behind you and let his cock slide between your folds which cause you to let out a breathy moan.

“How about I take your mind off this mornin’, fuck the stress right out of your little cunt.” Joel whispered, his gruff voice almost being drowned out by the water running.

You nodded meekly, your stomach knotting with the anticipation of being filled by the older male once again; it felt like no matter how many times you had him, you were always left wanting more. He was intoxicating, worse than any drug out there and it left you hungrier than the last time.

Joel let out a low, breathy chuckle and passed his cock through your slick folds again. “Please.” You whispered and pressed yourself back, catching the tip of his cock.

“Okay, pretty girl. No teasin’, not today.” He laughed, taking his length and pressing it to your needy hole. He pushed his hips forward roughly and bottomed out, you gasped out loudly and your hands fell flat onto the tiled walls of your bathroom. Joel held your ass and gave the delicate skin a soft slap, the sound of your wet skin echoed in the room.

Joel groaned out as he pulled his hips back and snapped them forward once again. “You feel like heaven, wanna stay inside of you forever.” He mumbled, building up a quick pace.

You moaned into your arm as Joel’s cock worked its way in and out of you, your fingers flexed weakly as they searched for something to grip onto for support.

“How ‘bout you touch yourself whilst I fuck you?” Joel asked, his voice oozing with just enough condescension to drive you crazy.

You nodded and let one of your shaky arms drop down your stomach and you let your fingers find your throbbing clit. As soon as your nimble fingers made contact with your sensitive clit, you moaned and clenched around Joel which only seemed to egg him on further. You circled your clit in time with Joel’s thrusts and it didn’t take long for your stomach to bubble with your impending orgasm.

“G-gonna cum.” You stated, your chest heaving with your heavy breaths. “Please, please let me cum.” You whimpered, knowing Joel loved it when you asked him for permission.

“Mmm, atta girl. Such a good girl for asking. Cum on my cock before I drain my balls into your tight little hole.” He groaned.

It’s all the permission you needed; Joel’s filthy words lingered in your mind as the obscene sounds of your wet pussy and your bodies slapping together filled the room. Your walls fluttered around the older male, your toes curled and you tried your hardest to keep your balance as the water poured around you. You screwed your eyes shut as you came around the male, his name falling from your wet parted lips. Stars fluttered behind your closed eyelids as you rode out your high, Joel still fucked into you with vigour.

“Fill me up, please.” You whined to Joel as you clenched around him, the aftershocks of your orgasm still thrumming through your body.

Joel was there, chasing his high like a crazed man. He held your hips tightly and kept his thrusts deep and quick as he worked himself to his finish. It only took a matter of seconds before he roughly grabbed one of your breasts and finished deep inside of you. You gasped as you felt the hot liquid spurt in you, spilling around Joel’s thick cock as he fucked himself through it. He groaned deeply in your ear and kept your body close to his; he had pulled you up so you were standing upright and his face was buried deeply into your neck. His lips brushed over your ear and his hot breath fanned across your skin, you shuddered as Joel finally pulled himself from within you. You already felt his semen leaking from your spent hole and you whined at the sensation.

“I’m a ruined woman, you’ve ruined me, Joel Miller.” You laughed dryly, to which Joel kissed the top of your head with a breathy chuckle.

—

Once you were cleaned up, you and Joel found yourselves cuddled on your sofa; he had claimed his hoodie back and had slipped his boxers back on, it was a look you quite appreciated as it meant you could stare at his muscular legs.

You had a blanket wrapped around you, your legs draped over Joel’s lap as you faced the male. “I feel like we should properly speak about this morning… Now that everything has calmed down a little and I’m not crying anymore.” You mumbled, breaking the comfortable quietness in the room. Your tv was on in the background but the volume was low, you were entirely sure what Joel had put on but his attention shifted as soon as you spoke.

“Yeah, we probably should. I think maybe you should reach out to your old man.” Joel said quietly.

You opened your mouth to protest and he raised an eyebrow at you, causing the words to quickly die in your mouth.

“I know. I know you were about to say that he’s the one in the wrong and he needs apologise and yeah, he does, darlin’. He was a nasty piece of work this morning, with the way he spoke to you but you did have sex with me, like we said this morning… we knew we were crossing a line and we let it happen again afterwards.” Joel continued, you listened and nodded slightly.

“I just… I don’t know what to say to him, I know it was a shock this morning but like, he was a dick!” You protested, dropping your head back onto the arm of your sofa in frustration.

“I think we need to be a little more understanding, sweet girl. Could you imagine if you walked in on your dad and one of your close friends?” Joel asked.

“Gross!” You exclaimed with a fake gag. “I guess you’re right though… do you think I should try calling him? I think he would be on his lunch break now?”

“I think it’s a good idea, I could leave and give you some space, if you like?” Joel asked and looked you, your head was still dropped back and he squeezed your leg gently.

“No!” You called out and lifted your head, your eyes filled with panic. “Please stay, I want you here incase he shouts or something again… I’ll probably cry.” You stated bluntly.

“As long as you’re sure, peach.” He said softly and stroked the bare skin of your legs.

You reached over to your coffee table and slid your phone off the edge, you contemplated it for a while before you unlocked your device and pressed your dad’s name to call him. You put it on speakerphone and placed your phone on your chest, your fingers toyed with the blanket as the dial-tones filled the room.

“Dad,” you started as soon as he picked up. “Hi.” You said weakly.

“Y/N.” You dad stated. “Is he there with you still?”

“No,” you lied pathetically before shaking your head at Joel. “I mean, yes. He is, sorry I don’t know why I lied, I panicked.”

“I’ll call you later once he is gone then. I don’t want anything do with that man ever again and you shouldn’t either. Disgusting.” You dad hissed into the receiver, his voice was dropped low and you were thankful he wasn’t throwing Joel’s name around carelessly. You could hear the tiredness in his voice as well, like he was forcing the anger out.

“Daddy, please.” You begged, you rarely ever called your dad that anymore but you were desperate, you felt like a child seeking acceptance and validation again. “Please talk to us. Talk to me. I’m sorry for what happened this morning.” You spoke, your voice cracked part way through your sentence and you cleared your throat.

“Please don’t get upset, princess.” Your dad said softly, and for the first time today, you could hear the love in his voice. “I’m sorry for how I shouted at you this morning, my anger was directed in the wrong place and I’m sorry for what I called you. I’m ashamed of how I acted towards you this morning.”

“And towards Joel.” You said quietly. “Dad, you said it was for the best his daughter isn’t around anymore. Regardless of how upset you were, that was a disgusting cheap shot and I still can’t believe you said it.” You sighed sadly, replaying the scene in your head over and over.

“I — uh, you’re right. I shouldn’t have said that to him, I’ve been thinking ‘bout it all morning. Is he okay? Are you okay? I’m really sorry you saw me punch him like that as well, I just… I feel like I should have protected you more, I feel like this happened because I let Joel into our lives.” Your dad mumbled. He kept his voice hushed as he whispered the older male’s name.

“Dad…” you sighed again. “Joel’s not a bad man, he’s one of the best guy’s I know. I was the one who instigated this whole thing. So if you’re gonna blame anyone, please, please blame me. Joel’s not done anything wrong. I’m an adult.”

“I know you and maybe that’s why I reacted the way I did, it’s just. You’re all I have left and it’s not an excuse but I feel like you don’t need me anymore.” Your dad admitted and you heard the wobble in his voice.

“Please come over to Joel’s tonight, we can all sit down and talk about this properly?” You pleaded.

“Fine. I’ll be round about 7pm, okay?” Your dad concluded.

“I love you so much, dad. Thank you.” You whispered.

“Love you too, sweet pea.” He said softly before the line cut off.

You let out a deep huff and your head dropped against the arm of sofa again, tears pricked your eyes and you rubbed them roughly to stop the tears from falling.

“Proud of you.” Joel stated, his fingers rubbing your skin soothingly. “You did so well, you were mature and kind. Perfect manners.” He praised, teasing you about your manners.

You let out a small laugh, sitting up so you could look at Joel again. His eyes were tired and soft, his fingers continued to soothe you and you sighed contentedly.

“God, I’m dreading tonight already.” You winced and Joel nodded in agreement. “Gonna have to keep your dirty hands off me, Miller.” You teased, jabbing your toes into his side to tickle him; he grabbed your feet and tickled the bottom of them causing you to let out a squeal.

“Gonna have to keep your hands off me, more like. Dirty girl.” He teased, still tickling you.

—

Joel and you spent the majority of your afternoon on your sofa, watching TV and cuddling up to have a couple of naps. You had got dressed into jeans and a comfy knitted jumper, Joel had pulled his clothes on from the previous night.

“Stay with me tonight, once your dad is gone? Bring some clothes and stay with me?” Joel asked quietly, feeling nervous to ask you, for some reason.

“Thought you’d never ask.” You teased with a grin before you grabbed your overnight bag and stuffed your essentials inside of it.

Joel drove you both over to his house, it was around 6pm and you felt your stomach flip with anxiety with every minute that passed. You drew the curtains in the living room, lit the fireplace and even lit a couple of candles that were scattered in the living room. They made you smile as the warm glow flicked in front of you; you had bought these for Joel for Christmas last year, you insisted he needed a feminine touch to his house, especially if he was ‘ever going to get a girlfriend’. You had always felt to bitterly anytime your father brought up that Joel should ‘get back out there and find someone’; looking back on it now, it made you laugh. If only you could have seen what was coming right round the corner for you both.

“I think we should order Chinese.” Joel stated from the doorway of the living room, causing you to jump slightly.

“Oh uh, yeah. Sounds good. Dad’s favourite, good tactic, Miller.” You smiled as you wandered over to where Joel was stood.

“What were you doing in here?” Joel asked suspiciously.

“Nothin’, just admiring those nice candles.” You teased and wrapped your arms around Joel’s waist so you were hugging his frame.

“Oh yeah?” Joel asked, smirking. “Some girl got me them saying I needed a feminine touch in my house, or somethin’ like that.” He teased, wrapping his arms around your neck so he could hold you close.

You hit his side affectionately and rolled your eyes at him, you leant back so you could see his features and he ducked his head down to catch your lips in a kiss. His hand immediately found your cheek, he cupped it tenderly as his lips moved against yours. You smiled into the kiss and swiped your tongue across Joel’s bottom lip silently asking for permission to deepen it. Joel obliged happily, allowing you access to explore his mouth further and he hummed in appreciation as your tongue met his own. You could taste mint on his hot breath as you kissed and you couldn’t stop the quiet moan that escaped your mouth as you kissed. It was a tender moment, his hand held you so softly as you kissed him deeply.

Finally, you pulled away from the kiss to catch your breath momentarily and his kissed your lips softly once more.

“You can’t be doing that to me, not when your dad could arrive any moment. We are trying to win him over, I don’t think he’ll be best pleased if he arrived and saw you with your tongue down my throat and my cock hard in my jeans, will he?” He asked with a raised eyebrow.

You giggled and shrugged at Joel. “Not my problem if you get hard from me kissing you. Sounds like a you problem, Mr Miller.” You teased and kissed his cheek before leaving the room.

Joel slapped your ass teasingly as you walked away and you yelped at him, pushing his hand away. You climbed onto one of the stools at his kitchen island and picked up your phone to look at the time. It was 6:40pm and you knew your dad would be arriving imminently. You absently chewed on the side of your thumb and scrolled through your phone to try and distract yourself momentarily.

“It’ll be fine, peach.” Joel said soothingly, he kissed the top of your head. “I’m gonna have a quick smoke before he arrives.”

“It’ll be fine, Joel.” You mimicked, knowing the man only really smoked when he was drunk, stressed or nervous.

“Shut up.” He laughed affectionately and grabbed his packet of smokes from near his kitchen door; he let himself out and lit one of his cigarettes.

You looked at him and you couldn’t help but think back to the morning after it first happened, when you walked down and saw him in nearly the same position then. It was less than a week ago but it felt like a lifetime ago now, it felt as if so much had happened since then.

You went back to your phone, you opened the camera roll and looked through the images you had taken with Joel last night; you giggled as you scrolled through the stupid faces you pulled. You thumb lingered over the screen as you stared at the image in front of you; it was the one where Joel was kissing your head, your eyes were closed peacefully and you saw the perfect side profile of the older man. It was an image of a seemingly normal couple, you almost didn’t recognise it. Your thumb hovered momentarily over the options before you pressed your screen a couple of times more to set the image as your wallpaper. You locked your phone and touched the screen to see the image illuminated there for you and you grinned at it.

You were pulled from your phone as the back door, where Joel was, slid open and he stepped inside. He was about to ask if your dad had arrived yet but his words were cut short by the doorbell ringing through the house. You jumped down from the stool, smoothed your jumper and gave a shaky sigh to try and calm yourself. Joel held his hand out for you to take; which you did gratefully and he caught your lips for a quick kiss, just one last stolen moment of bliss before your dad broke it.

Joel wrapped his arm around your waist protectively as you walked to the front door, he gave you a small squeeze as you opened it and saw your dad stood awkwardly, a pack of beer under one arm and a large bunch of flowers in his other hand. You knew he felt awful for this morning, part of you was glad he recognised his awful behaviour and the other part of you felt guilty for his guilt.

“For you, sweet pea.” He said softly, pushing the bouquet into your direction you. You smelled the flowers and smiled at your dad, the bouquet contained different wildflowers and he had even made sure there were sweet peas throughout, as it was how he always addressed you. “And uh; Joel, these are for you. They’re the ones we always share.” Your dad said quietly, holding the beers out for him to take.

Joel took them, ushered your dad inside and smiled at him. “Thank you, bud. Truly.”

“Come on through to the kitchen, dad. I’ll put these in a vase and I’ll get you both a drink.” You said sweetly, kissing your dad’s cheek before going through to the kitchen.

You looked through Joel’s cupboards frustratedly, looking for anything resembling a vase.

“You’re not gonna find one, peach. Do I look like the sorta guy that has flowers hanging around?” Joel laughed and you rolled your eyes.

“Of course you don’t have a fuckin’ vase. A vase, something so simple.” You muttered, settling for a large glass and filling it with water so you could at least keep the flowers hydrated. “Gonna start buying you flowers so you have to get a vase.” You teased, sticking your tongue out at Joel.

Your dad cleared his throat, feeling awkward as he stood by the kitchen island and you shot him an apologetic look.

“Beers?” You asked enthusiastically as you tried to clear the air.

“Beers.” The two men concluded at the same time which caused you to laugh.

You fetched everyone a drink before you put the remaining beers back into the fridge for your dad and Joel to enjoy.

“Cheers,” you announced. “To family and friendship.” You offered up, tilting your bottle towards your dad.

“To love.” Your dad concluded and clinked his bottle to yours before gently tapping Joel’s too.

“Joel, shall I order some food? Do you maybe wanna go through the living room with dad?” You encouraged to which Joel nodded. “Gonna order Chinese, old man, so I hope you brought your appetite.”

“Sounds perfect, thank you, sweet pea.” Your dad smiled weakly as he followed Joel out of the room.

Joel sat himself down on his couch and motioned for your dad to take a seat, he did so in the arm chair across from the male.

“I’m sorry.” They both spoke at the same time, your dad waved a hand in front of his face dismissively and shook his head. “No, Joel, I’m sorry. Y/N is an adult, I just didn’t want to admit that she may not need me anymore. What I said was out of order —“

Joel went to interrupt and your dad gave him a look that told him otherwise. “I was out of order, I shouldn’t have brought up Sarah. It wasn’t fair and it definitely wasn’t nice. I just — I hated the thought of you, of you touching my little girl. I just. It made me feel ill.” Your dad continued, pausing to take a swig of his drink with a grimace. “But it’s not just you… it’s the thought of anyone with my little girl that makes me feel ill, I just need to remember she’s an adult and well, at least she’s with someone I know and trust. Because I do, Joel, I still trust you; only now, I trust that you won’t hurt my girl.” He spoke, his voice was soft but stern.

Joel nodded, his fingers toyed with the label of his beer bottle and he stared at it intently. “Bud, I wouldn’t hurt her. Not even for a second. And I’m sorry, I am for the way this has gone. I know I’m a lot older than her, and I know I’m your friend and I crossed a line there… I care so much about her, I’m truly lucky she wants to give an old guy like me a chance. I’m sorry.” He all but whispered, his voice shaking with nerves.

“I know you are.” Your dad offered up, giving his knee a friendly pat. “I don’t love the idea of your relationship, and I would appreciate if you didn’t flaunt it in front of me, at least not whilst I adjust to it but I know you’re sorry, and I forgive you. I uh — I didn’t mean what I said about work this morning, you’re not fired. I couldn’t run this shit without you.” Your dad laughed dryly. “Take the rest of the week off, come back next Monday, once we have both had a bit of time to digest everything.”

“Thank you.” Joel breathed, relief flooding his body as he finally felt his muscles relax into the sofa. “Thank you so much, and for what it’s worth, peach is real’ sorry for how this all happened. I know she’s said it herself but she feels awful, much like I do.”

“I know. It’s messy but we will all get over it in time. Come here.” Your dad said, placing his beer bottle down and standing to bring Joel in for a hug; his hands patted Joel’s back as he held him there. “Sarah was the luckiest girl to have a dad like you, I know it. And my sweet pear will be lucky to have you as her partner, also.” Your dad forced the last part of his sentence out, the words didn’t flow with ease but he did mean them, somewhat.

The rest of the evening was pleasant, you all sat around eating Chinese and listening to music; much like how your Friday evenings went. The tension had all but dissipated once you all sat down to eat and talk things through.

It was late, you had placed your head into Joel’s lap and drifted off to sleep; your belly full of Chinese food and a low buzz of alcohol thrummed through your body. You were content and safe.

Joel stroked through your hair with his fingers, his eyes so soft as he looked at you with adoration, your lashes splayed across your soft cheeks and he held your hand with his free one.

“I’ll leave you guys to it.” Your dad announced, a little awkward. Joel was about to get up, to wake you up to say bye but your dad shook his head. “Let her sleep, I’ll send her a message tomorrow morning. Thank you for tonight, truly. I’m sorry for this morning. You’re a good guy, Joel Miller.” Your dad whispered, he patted Joel’s shoulder and Joel closed his eyes at your dad’s kind words of acceptance. He didn’t feel like a good guy, especially not after this morning but he was so thankful for your dad’s apology.

Your dad left the house quietly and Joel looked down at the perfect sight of your snoozing in his lap. He gently pried you off to stand before he leant down to lift your sleeping body off of the sofa. He was gentle with you, being mindful to hold your body close as he walked you through the doorway to go upstairs.

“Hmm?” You hummed at the disturbance, your eyes barely fluttering open.

“Taking you up to bed, sweet girl. Your dad just left, he’ll message you in the mornin’ he said.” Joel whispered, trying to keep you from waking up fully.

“Oh.” You yawned before nuzzling your face into Joel’s neck, searching for warmth. “Hmm. I love you.” You mumbled incoherently, not really registering what had been said.

Joel paused for a second, taking in your words, he bit back a smile and kissed your head. “My sweet girl, love you more.” He chuckled lowly, you made a small noise in your sleep and with that Joel laid you down on his bed.

He took your jeans off of you and your jumper before redressing you in the pyjamas you had brought over. He stripped himself down to his boxers and climbed into the space next to you; he brought your sleeping frame closer and held you tightly as he let his own slumber pull him in.

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Taglist: @jksprincess10 @joelmill3r @the-blue-banshee @silkiers @martiansodas-blog @bigmoodyjoody @daddysuperduperlonglegs @not-a-unique-snowflake89 @powergirlsupremacy @weddingfairy @zarakirbyy @available-ostrich @queerly-anxious @seeyoutomaura @hazehepburn @moonfllowerr @butts4sale @st4rb0y27 @mrsyixingunicorn10 @dojacatswink @readerfanfichere @pintsizedsunshine @sivulele @deanwinchesterscumrag @jessie-skywalker @tayymiller @namedafteramovie @wisedeanwagoncroissant @dirtysadnessfillmeup @sashathephoenix @lunxramour @here4thespice @kyuupidwrites @hangmans-girl @hellowhoisthisidk @sxngria @completelyoverit @xuniverseofbeachesx @bisexualdolphinthings @follivora @mildloser @ashh1211 @starblogsalot @your-not-invisible-to-me @wreckdwolf @cant-shake-this-feeling-off @tiredandreadytogohome

Taglist Notes: If anyone wants tags removing for the last part, please let me know! Subsequently, if people want to be tagged in the last (?) part, also please let me know! Names strikedthrough are users that couldn’t be tagged properly, if I missed you, please know it isn’t intentional at all!!! <3

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#dbf!joel miller #dbf!joel miller x reader #dbf joel miller #dbf!joel #joel miller #pedro pascal #joel x reader #joel miller x reader

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babyhatesreality · 2 years ago

Note

Jellybean seems like an important part of the little ones life so I wonder what they would do if her stuffy gets lost? ☀️🧡

HEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEE

Sooooooo....I'm guessing this ask was made hoping for some major angst, some major tears, and a lot of fluff to even it all out.

My brain thinks different, y'all. Sorry. Hope you enjoy it anyways. I also wanted to make this in-line with another one of my stories, I'm pretty happy with how it fits the world. Thank you for the lovely ask and the opportunity to connect dots <3 <3 <3

*Also- thank you all for your patience- it's been a very turbulent couple of weeks. Hoping to get back into the swing of writing. Thank you!

Careful of your Catchphrase

Pairing: Daddy!Stucky x little f!reader

Warnings: DDLG (SSC), f! reader, reader is named but name scarcely used, pet names, language, touch of paranoid Papa, super overly dramatic reader (like....SO dramatic ugh), reader feeling angsty (to put it lightly), reader thinks bunny has been kidnapped, bless-their-heart-oh-so-dumb men, fluffity fluff fluff fluff.

YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR OWN MEDIA CONSUMPTION. THIS STORY IS SFW- THE REST OF MY BLOG IS NOT NECESSARILY SO. MINORS DNI. I DO NOT CONSENT FOR MY WORK TO BE STOLEN, COPIED, OR TRANSLATED ONTO ANY OTHER SITE BUT MY OWN. Likes, comments and reblogs are deeply appreciated.

Steve and Bucky looked at each other, eyes locked in an intense gaze, then simultaneously breathed a huge sigh of relief.

"I can't believe we pulled it off," Steve said, his lungs beginning to work again properly.

"Shit. Why did that scare me more than any other field agent assignment in recent history?" Bucky grumbled, shaking his head.

"Because you love the target this time," Steve replied back with a relieved grin, stroking his husband's cheek affectionately. He felt almost triumphant in their success.

You'd been with them for nearly two months now, having passed your probation period and been given the official blessing. It had been bliss- fantastic, fun, and full of love. Lots of cuddles, lots of silly and sweet play, lots and lots of cookies, all the time.

Then they got a whiff of Jellybean, your most favorite stuffie in the world.

You dragged that bunny everywhere you were allowed to. She slept in your arms at night, she went to all the parties and playdates and picnics, and she was both an excellent tea party companion and a brave soldier in Daddy's army (bunnies are versatile like that).

But just yesterday, you'd been snuggling on Steve's lap while he worked at his desk, Jellybean cuddled close to you. You were feeling littler than normal, and Steve was happy to indulge you. But having that stuffie practically right under his nose made him suddenly aware of just how much dirt, sweat, and who knows what else was lingering in her soft fur. And when you brought Jellybean's ear to your mouth to suck on, Steve nearly had an nervous breakdown. And then, so did you when they tried to take her from you to wash her.

You were in a littler mindset and didn't understand what was happening, couldn't understand their gentle explanations. All you knew was that you WERE NOT letting that bunny go for anything. It had been a rough couple hours with a lot of tears (which freaked them both out) before they gave up, determined to try again tomorrow.

You were about where you normally were regression-wise today, but you still had lingering anxiety about your beloved Jellybean, so she was firmly in your grasp from the moment you woke up. Steve was losing his mind, freaking himself out with the germs and diseases that he'd conjured up in his mind. He became desperate. Not a good look.

They'd waited until they finally got you down for a nap, then they struck. Moving with the precision of two super soldiers in the Temple of Doom, they'd managed to extract Jellybean from under your arm while you were deeply asleep and replace her with Pipsqueak, your second favorite stuffie (who was going to be due for the same treatment soon, but one step at a time). They'd snuck back out, not making a sound, and had gotten Jellybean into the wash on the gentle cycle. The laundry room door was shut so you wouldn't hear.

Success!

*****************************************************

You woke up about twenty minutes later. Normally, you slept for about an hour during nap time, but...something was off. Something felt wrong. And you recognized it the second you looked down. Jellybean wasn't in your arms. On on your bed. Or on the floor. Or in the room.

Disaster!

You launched yourself from your bed, tearing into the living room where Daddy and Papa were watching some movie. They both sat bolt upright when you catapulted yourself into the room, shocked that you were up.

"Baby, what's wrong??" Steve asked, his eyes wide with alarm. Bucky's eyes darted around the room, instantly on the alert for danger.

"JELLYBEAN!!!" was all you could wail before crumpling onto the floor in a heap, sobbing. You felt strong arms pick you up and cradle you, and a set of fingers combing through your hair.

"Sshh, sshh, it's okay Babygirl," Bucky whispered, trying to calm you down.

"NOT OKAY!! Jellybean is GONE!!" you cried into Bucky's teeshirt.

"Oh, honey, she's not gone, she's just taking a little bath right now."

Your tears instantly stopped at Papa's words. You twisted your head to look at him. "She takin' a baf?" you asked, trying to make it all make sense. Papa nodded. You whipped around back to Bucky, and began pushing against his chest. "Down!!"

"Now, hold on a minute, Trouble..."

"DOWN!!"

"Hey, I know you're upset, but-"

"DOWNDOWNDOWNDOWNDOWN!!!!!!!!!"

Completely shocked at his normally well-behaved little girl's tantrum, Bucky's only working instinct was to give you what you wanted. He set you down quickly and you took off for the bathroom. They exchanged a quick look of panic before following you. Just as they were getting to the bathroom door, you nearly barreled them over tearing out of the room towards the other bathroom. They tried calling after you, but you were on a mission and NOTHING was going to stop you.

"I've never seen her freak out like this before," Bucky muttered to Steve while they followed your frantic footsteps.

"I know," Steve whispered back, his anxiety going through the roof. "I had no idea she was going to take it this way. What do we do?"

"Hell if I know." They both stopped talking as you threw yourself back into the hallway, skidding to a halt right in front of them, your eyes crazed.

"She not in the bafroom!!" you shrieked in an accusatory tone. "You said she was takin' a baf!" Before they could even inhale to try to answer you, a brilliant idea came to you. "She YITTLE! She take baf in da sink!!" And you were running like your feet were on fire to the kitchen sink. You looked- and she wasn't there either.

Bucky and Steve caught up to you as you were pacing, thinking so hard you looked like you were trying to solve world hunger. "She can't take baf in dishwasher or washin' machine- she dwown in dere..." you mused to yourself. You didn't see the look of pure horror that Steve and Bucky exchanged. If you realized that they put your precious bunny in the washing machine and drowned her, you would have a major meltdown, or worse- never forgive them. Their attentions jerked back to you as you stopped pacing.

"She been kidnapped!!" you gasped in horror, coming to the only logical conclusion left to you.

"Oh, baby, she's not-"

"JARVIS!!!" you screamed at the top of your lungs to the AI, making Steve and Bucky wince. "NEED TO TALK TO EVERYONE, NOW!!"

"As you wish, Princess."

"No, no, JARVIS, you don't need to-"

"A direct line to the team is open, Princess."

You took the biggest breath you could, and screamed with all your might.

"AVENGERS ASSEMBLE!!!!!!!!!!!"

Steve and Bucky just stood there frozen in shock, jaws on the floor, dumbfounded at your battle cry. They couldn't even find the words to respond.

The silence didn't last for long.

Suddenly, an almighty crash shook the entire apartment. Steve dove for you, his protective instinct taking over, as Bucky jumped in front of both of you. Before you even realized what really happened, you heard loud footsteps thundering down the hallway.

"NONE SHALL SURVIVE THAT HAVE CAUSED HARM TO THIS FAMILY!" Thor roared, dressed in full battle gear, charging into the living room, breathing hard and wielding Mjolnir. He whipped his head around, hammer raised, surveying the territory. When he only found Steve and Bucky frozen in shock and confusion with you desperately squirming to get out of Steve's arms, he lowered his hammer and joined in the looks of confusion. "I...think I may have acted in earnest," he said sheepishly.

"NO!" you wailed, thrashing with all your might. "I need you Unca Thor!! Jellybean been KIDNAPPED!!!"

"Jelly...bean? Someone has taken your colorful sugar candies that are shaped like kidneys?"

"No, Jellybean is my bunny!! She my best friend in da whole world and she GONE!!" you yelled as you wildly twisted in Steve's arms. He finally unlocked his frozen limbs and set you down, and you immediately made a mad dash right for Thor. "We gotta find her!!!"

Thor's confused gaze slowly flicked up to Steve and Bucky. They both frantically pantomimed that the bunny was in the washing machine. Thor nodded in relieved understanding, before smiling down on you. "Not to worry, young one, it seems as though your Jellybean is-"

He suddenly cut himself off when Steve and Bucky wildly shook their heads for him to stop, then silently indicated that you would lose your mind if you knew. Thor stared at them so long with such confusion that you turned around to see what was going on. Bucky immediately started staring around the room, the walls suddenly the most interesting thing he'd ever seen, while Steve gave you one of his hearty Captain America everything-is-fine salutes. You looked at them curiously, but then turned your attention back to Thor. Bucky and Steve frantically resumed their charades, finally making Thor understand that under no circumstances should you be informed of where Jellybean actually was.

"Jellybean is what, Unca Thor?" you asked desperately.

"...Jellybean has...definitely been kidnapped," he finished lamely, unable to come up with another excuse on the fly as Steve facepalmed and Bucky inaudibly groaned. "But I'm sure she'll be returned in...an hour or so?"

Before you could question that, Tony came charging into the room. "Squirt, what's the problem?" he said in a rush, locking eyes with you a split second before taking in the rest of the room and the three other dumbfounded men. His eyebrows constricted as he tried to make sense of the scene. You quickly explained the horrors of your missing bunny, and his eyebrows slowly crept into his hairline as you tripped over your words in your distress. After another round of charades behind your back, Tony was up to speed. He stood up straight, trying to think his way around this one, but only came up with one thing.

"I assume that's why there's a Thor-sized hole in the wall where your front door used to be?" he asked Steve, who turned to Thor in exasperation.

"I was in earnest," Thor explained, shrugging. You stomped your feet, frustrated.

"Unca Tony, we gotta get Jellybean back! I need the 'Vengers to help me!" you pleaded.

"Uhhhh...okay squirt, it's okay," he said, thinking about how Peter would react if his favorite toy went missing. "Why don't we...make sure that she's not in the apartment first? Huh? That's a good idea, right? Of course it is, let's go."

"No, I already look everywhere! She not here!!" you insisted before charging over to him, and holding your arms up. He instantly picked you up, assuming that you wanted comfort, but instead you started pushing on his chest.

"Whatcha doing, honey?" he asked, confused and curious.

"Where's your button that makes your suit go on??" you grumbled as you punched all over his chest. "I KNOW it here somewhere." He would have snickered had you not clearly been so upset.

"I don't think I'm going to need my suit here, kiddo." He nodded sanctimoniously when you gasped in agreement.

"You right! You need money!" He stopped nodding. "In case da kidnappers want me to pay for Jellybean! Can I have a million dollars?"

Tony slow burn glared at Steve. "What the hell are you two letting her watch?" he muttered as they stared at you, once again shocked. You shook your head.

"No, Unca Tony! 'Member you said to Unca Bruce dat you wouldn't pay kidnappers after Pietro broke your record thingy. But dis different. I need a million dollars please." It was Bucky and Steve's turn to glare at Tony, who turned a deep red and set you down quickly.

"Moving right along," he said after clearing his throat. That's when Natasha and Clint came strolling in. Natasha looked around at all the craziness calmly.

"So. What seems to be the trouble here?" she asked you kindly, but the rest of the team could see the hints of the smirk on her lips.

"Aunt Nat, Jellybean is gone!" you wailed, running over to her. "She been kidnapped and I can't find her and the 'Vengers gotta find her please!"

Natasha leaned down just a bit and smoothed your hair away from your face. "Hold on there, honey bunny," she said in her calmest voice. "Take a deep breath for me, okay?" You nodded tearfully, but did as she asked. "Good girl," she praised soothingly. "Tell you what. Can Uncle Clint get you some juice while I talk to your daddies for a minute?"

"But...but we gotta find Jellybean!" you said, your breath catching as you started to get worked up again. "Gotta find her, please!!"

"And we will, I promise," she said, placing a gentle kiss on your forehead. "But I think I need to get some information before we start looking, okay? Can you be a big girl and let Uncle Clint get you some juice please? Then we'll find her, I promise," After another moment and another big breath, you nodded.

"Atta girl," Clint said, scooping you up and taking you to the kitchen. You tearfully explained the whole saga to him while he sat you down on the kitchen island and poured you a sippy cup full of apple juice, nodding seriously as you explained everything. He knew all too well the intense emotions that came with regression, especially when it came to favorite stuffies, and how important it was for caregivers to take your feelings seriously. He was also trying to distract you from the hisses and the whispers of the violent verbal battle happening in the living room behind you.

Your head whipped around when you heard Bucky hiss loudly "Natasha, NO," as Aunt Natasha walked briskly into the kitchen. She gently nudged Clint out of the way and stood in front of you.

"We go find Jellybean now?" you asked her hopefully, your sippy cup still clutched in your hands.

"Jellybean is just fine, sweetheart," she said reassuringly. Your eyes became as round as saucers as you took in her meaning.

"You know where Jellybean is?!" you shrieked, before attempting to launch yourself off the island. Aunt Nat was just as quick as Papa was when you were trying to escape bedtime. She popped you onto her hip and started walking towards the laundry room with 4 anxious and confused men and one snickering one in tow.

"I do know where she is, and she's perfectly okay," Natasha said gently, bouncing you a bit. "I'm going to take you to see her."

"Natasha, don't," Steve said, his teeth gritted, his tone between a command and a plea. You looked over her shoulder at your daddies who appeared to be sweating bullets, but you didn't understand why.

Natasha completely ignored them and marched right into the laundry room, you still firmly on her hip. She pointed to the spinning laundry behind the front loader's door. "Jellybean is right there, baby. She's taking a bath, just like your daddies said she was."

Your eyes filled with tears. "But...but she...what if she dwown?" you asked fearfully, looking at Natasha with large, pleading, watery eyes as the rest of the team, crowded in the doorway, all held their breath in fear.

Natasha brushed your hair away from your eyes again and rubbed her nose against yours. "She won't drown, sweetheart. This is how furry friends take baths. They're special like that. They can breathe just fine in the washing machine, and then after they dry they smell so nice and fresh and clean- just like you do after you take your bath!" Steve and Bucky felt their blood turn to ice in terror, waiting for what they were sure was going to be another meltdown from you.

"Jellybean okay?" you asked again, your eyes darting to the window and back to hers.

"Jellybean is okay, I promise. You wanna see?" Natasha put you down and knelt in front of the window. "It's okay, I promise. Come look," she encouraged. You carefully sat down on the floor next to her, still not sure about this. You suddenly saw hint of soft grey fur slide past the window- that was her!!

You slapped your little hands on the window, desperate for another look at your bunny. "Aunt Nat, you SURE she's okay?" you asked again.

"Very sure. In fact, Buttons took a bath just like this a couple days ago, and Wanda had her yesterday, remember?" Natasha said. "Same thing will happen with Jellybean. She'll be just fine." You thought about it- Wanda did have Buttons the Bear with her last night! And she had been okay!

"Oh. Okay den," you said, suddenly calm as could be. You plopped back down on your butt, scootching backwards to lean up against the wall. "I wait here for her baf to be done. Tank you, Aunt Nat!" You casually sipped on your juice as Steve and Bucky's jaws hit the floor again. How the hell were you so calm now, when five seconds ago you were all headed for World War Three?!

Natasha chuckled and gave you a kiss on the top of your head before turning around and walking out of the room. All the men crowded in the doorway parted to let her pass, except Clint, who had collapsed against the wall, silently laughing at the others' dumbfounded expressions. Natasha turned back to them.

"You all are idiots," she said simply with a smile, before turning and walking out of the Thor shaped hole in the front wall while Clint howled with laughter.

#daddy!stucky x little reader #daddy!stucky #daddy stucky #daddy stucky x little reader #daddy!bucky #daddy!bucky x little!reader #daddy bucky #daddy bucky x little reader #daddy!steve #daddy!steve rogers #daddy!steve rogers x little #daddy!steve x little!reader #daddy steve #daddy steve x little reader

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ronwestbreeze · 2 years ago

Text

TO YOU , WORLDS AWAY | PART ONE : CHAPTER TWO

pairing: jake sully x reader

summary: in which you are forced to be in the same vicinity as jake sully for months

warnings: none!

word count: 3.9k

author's note: yay another chapter!! :))

AO3 | prev | next

It had been a few weeks since the last time you had stepped foot in Hell’s Gate and ever since your conversation with Quaritch. Still, you had sent a few vague video messages for Grace and the newbies about the culture of Na’vi. The videos were mostly for Jake since Norm seemed well educated on the culture and language. It was easy for you to do and get out of the way one day a week. This was you being the tutor that Quaritch tried requesting. And technically you weren’t disobeying orders. But you did find yourself a loophole to avoid the Gate and Jake Sully all together.

That was until now.

“No!”

“Tinkers…” Grace sighed.

“Hell no, Augustine!”

You never thought you would find yourself yelling at Grace in all the time you’ve met her. It almost felt wrong. There was so much respect between you two, there was just never any way that you thought you’d be arguing with her this hotly, this irritated. Sure, there had been clashes in the past but those were tame and intellectual.

Now it was almost like a child snapping at their mother for the first time. You didn’t want to but your frustration and irritation had built up over time until it finally made you explode.

“He’s found and met the Omatikaya people, Tinkers. This could be our chance to rebuild a relationship with them if we do this right.” Grace's voice was cracking through the radio that you held in your hands. “And to do that we need a good set up, a good foundation away from the Gate. We have to have some distance, especially from Parker and Quaritch.”

That had made you stop. Your hands, which had been previously tinkering with your project, stopped moving as you focused your attention on the radio. “Why?” The question had come hastily, making you cringe at yourself. “I mean, what does this have to do with Quaritch?”

Grace responded in a lowered voice through the radio, “For some odd reason, I feel like you already know the answer to that, Tinkers. Which also explains your sudden attitude toward Jake. Yeah, don’t think I haven’t noticed, kid.” You rolled your eyes, knowing she was talking about your obvious steps to make sure you didn’t interact with Quaritch’s new puppet. And your lack of a response only confirmed Grace’s guess.

Really, there was no point in denying it. Grace knew you. And she knew Quaritch just as well as you did. She knew the tense relationship between you two, it was hard not to over the years of you being on Pandora. Which was one of the reasons why Grace had taken you under her wing, which was why you had always followed her around like a lost puppy in your first few years in Pandora. There was no hiding anything from Grace Augustine, especially when she decided to look after you when no one else would.

“And you think bringing everything up here, crowding my space…” Despite yourself, you glanced down at your project which was nearly finished. “How is this a good idea again—”

“We’re coming, Tinkers.” Grace said sternly. “You can stay cooped up in your lab all you want but we’re still coming, and kid, sorry but you’re going to have to deal with Sully’s presence whether you like it or not.”

She wasn’t wrong. Yes, your lab was connected to the mobile link station Site 26 which Grace and the others were free to use if they wanted. But this lab was your solitude, your own world of secrets.

You didn’t want Quaritch’s little spy anywhere near it.

“Meet you up there, kid.” Grace said before the radio went silent.

For a moment, you stared at Project Pandora. Then you got up and started cleaning up the desk you had been working at for the past few hours. Carefully, you placed the project in the cabinets beneath the desk and closed it, locking it with a padlock.

Perhaps you were being a bit paranoid but you couldn’t risk it. Hell, you couldn’t even risk Grace seeing it either. She’d try to talk you out of it if anything.

Hours had passed until the helicopter had arrived with Grace and the others. Despite your previous annoyance toward the new situation, you went out to greet them as they got off the helicopter.

“Hope you took care of the place since I left.” Grace commented as you fell into step side by side with her. “I’m not going to see a whole hoard of shit everywhere, will I, Tinkers?”

“I know how to clean my own shit.” You grumbled when stepping into the station. “If anything you’re more messy with me. Most of you shit is in there anyway.”

Grace rolled her eyes, setting her things down at an unoccupied desk. Norm trailed in, looking around with wide excited eyes. “So you’re telling me you’ve been staying up here in the Hallelujah Mountains for months now? How are you not amazed by this every day?”

You shrugged as the link beds were rolled in, “I guess you get used to the view every day.”

That wasn’t necessarily true. Still to this day you found yourself always amazed at where you were and how you often remembered that Earth was nothing compared to this. And that you didn’t miss the former planet one bit.

Norm shook his head in disbelief, “Have you ever explored more of this place?”

“On my own? No.” You found yourself chuckling self-deprecatingly. “Pandora may be beautiful but it's also dangerous, especially for those unskilled to handle it.”

As soon as you said that, Jake wheeled in. He took in his surroundings the same as Norm until your gazes connected. There was an unreadable expression on his face when he nodded toward you in acknowledgment, “Doc.”

“They haven’t killed you yet, I see.” You hummed, raising a single brow. “Can’t really tell if I’m impressed or disappointed.”

He gave a sarcastic smile, “Thanks for the vote of confidence, Doc. Have any more half assed advice for me?”

“Yeah, right up your—”

“Alright, kids.” Grace interrupted, glaring at the two of you. “If we’re all gonna be stuck here together for the next few months, we’re gonna have to suck it up and get along or else this whole thing is for nothing.”

You roll your eyes, before leaving to go back to your lab. That was your only place where it would be your solitude after. Seconds later your lab door opened and in came Grace who already wore a maternal stern look on her face upon looking at you slouched in your desk chair.

“Why are we even still working with him?” You hiss in Na’vi. “It’s like you said on the radio, you and I both know he’s working with Quaritch. We can’t trust him!”

“He will start learning their ways and they will accept him if we play this right, Tinkers. Think about it. Sully could be our chance to rebuild our relationship with them, to get them to trust us again.” Grace glanced over her shoulder at the now closed door before continuing. “And if it works maybe things will start to fall in place when it comes to Quaritch.”

You stood, shaking your head. “You have too much faith in him, Augustine. Whatever relationship you think we could salvage with them, it’s gone. They will never trust us again after what happened. And now letting him enter their clan as an outsider, lying to them, that is what you think is going to help?!”

Exhaustion fell onto her face as she placed her hands on her waist, switching to English. “You’re gonna have to trust me on this one, Tinkers. I need you to work with me here, I need you on my side.”

This was too reckless. All of it. And no matter what you did to stay out of it, somehow you were always dragged back into it. You were always hurt again. You didn’t want to be hurt. You didn’t want what happened last time to happen again. Not to the Na’vi. Hell, not to Grace. You can’t stand seeing her heart broken after what had happened again.

“He is not on our side.” You whispered, pointing to the door.

Grace did not respond and the conversation soon ended when Norm called for her. Before leaving your lab she gave you one final stern look, “Play nice. This place is about to be stuffy, kid.”

The first couple of weeks, you mostly kept to yourself in your lab, working on your project, video logging for yourself, or just other smaller projects. Just to keep yourself distracted and away from the main station. When you did come out of your lab, you’d mostly speak to Grace and Norm and kept your interactions with Jake to a minimum. Which most of the time included snarky remarks and or cursing at each other.

“She keeps calling me, skxawng.” Jake muttered one day while eating his breakfast before he’d hop into the link unit as usual. During his stay here, you had learned that Jake had met Neytiri, the Omatikaya clan leader’s daughter. You recognized the name mostly because you had met her in the past, her and her mother Mo’at, the Tsahik of the clan. It had been a while since you had seen either of them. “What does it even mean?”

“Moron.” You muttered, eating some of your yogurt.

“Yeah, right back at you, little shit.” Jake retorted.

Norm shook his head, hiding an amused snort behind his bowl of breakfast. You turned to Jake and raised your brows, “Skxawng, means moron, asshat. Though it’s pretty fitting for you, don’t you think?”

“Bite me.”

“Very mature.”

“Both of you sound like children!” Grace snapped from her spot at the desk in the corner. “For god’s sake, you’re adults! Act like it!”

“Tell that to her.” Jake commented.

You flipped him off.

But as time went by, you can admit that Jake was making bits of progress when it came to integrating into the Omatikaya. Some days, when you wanted a break from spending so much time in the lab, you’d be sitting on one of the cots watching Norm struggling to teach Jake the language and get easily frustrated at his slow learning.

“Oel ngati kameie.” Norm repeated for what sounded like the hundredth time that evening. “I see you. You almost had it on the ninetieth try.”

“Fuck off.” Jake rolled his eyes. “Oel ngati—”

“No, no, no!” Norm grumbled while you hid a smile behind the book you were reading.

“I’m saying exactly what you’re saying right now!”

“No you’re not—you know what?” Norm breathed out a sigh before pushing away from the table he was at, “Let’s take a really, really long break, yeah?” You watched as Norm exhaustedly rubbed his face and left the room, mumbling to himself in frustration.

Jake huffed and went quiet for a while. Right now it was just the two of you sitting in the room. You made no move to say or do anything, mostly just kept to yourself like you had been for the past week. While reading, you heard him start to mumble the same phrase over and over again, though his pronunciation was wrong each time.

And despite wanting to ignore him, your need to correct him eventually won.

“You really do have a thick skull, huh?” You commented. Jake turned his wheelchair away from you, pettily ignoring you. “You're sooo funny. Apologies for trying to help.”

“And since when have you ever tried to help me?” Jake snorted, glaring at you over his shoulder.

“Did you not watch the videos I sent you?”

“Fuck off.”

A small, amused smile tugged at your lip before you closed your book. “Quaritch did tell you to listen to me, make sure you survive and whatnot. Or are you not taking orders from him anymore?”

Jake didn't reply right away, instead he turned his chair so that he was facing you again, studying you with an unreadable expression. “You hate him.”

You scoffed, “Great job, Sherlock.”

Jake tilted his head, giving you a look, “He’s mentioned you a few times. Asks about you.”

Not really wanting to hear any of this, you got up and grabbed your book. “We’re definitely not having this conversation, especially not with you of all people.”

“Okay, then make something clear to me.” Jake called, rolling after you. “I don’t get it. He acts like the two of you are close and treats you like a family. And then there’s you, you can’t even stand to be in the same room with him.”

Now you were scowling and turned back to him, “Yes and it’s been a pretty great relationship so far. What’s your point, Puppet?”

He frowned at the nickname but continued, “It’s because of the school, isn’t it?”

That, you hadn’t expected. Really, you didn’t even know that he knew about that. Then again, Grace might’ve told him at some point. Still, the question threw you off. Enough that Jake could read the expression on your face, which confirmed his question without you having to say anything.

“I, uh, noticed the pictures with you and Grace’s avatars, with the kids.” Jake continued but a lot more carefully than before. “Grace told me about, um, Sylwanin and the other kids that died.” You winced terribly, barely able to hide it as you turned your gaze away from him. It had been awhile, no, a couple of years at least since it first happened.

You just never bothered talking about it again, never bothering to go back into your avatar form unless you absolutely needed to. Those deaths had weighed down on your shoulders forever.

Jake was still watching you as he spoke, “You blame him.”

“They were on his orders.” Was what you said, willing your voice to remain firm. Crossing your arms, you continued through gritted teeth, “If he ever thought of me as family he wouldn’t have allowed that to happen that day. Those were my friends he had gunned down.” You turn to look at Jake, frowning. “Could you forgive that?”

Surprisingly, his response was immediate. “No.”

Quietly, you watched him the same as he did you. And then you stopped, not wanting to read into anything more. Not wanting to discover anything more despite the growing doubt settling in as this conversation kept going.

“What else has he said?” You found yourself asking after a while, quietly. This now surprised Jake. “About me?”

Now it was his turn to look away from you for a moment before shrugging, “Says you guys used to be close, practically an uncle to you or something, I don’t remember.”

You nod, not protesting that. Despite everything, that was true. Your parents were both dead. Quaritch had known them both and you since you were young. He was a family friend. An uncle. The only person that cared for you that was left in this world.

And with everything that had happened between you two, that’s what broke your heart the most. No matter what, he was the last one left for you.

You walked toward the door to your lab but stopped before glancing over your shoulder toward Jake.

“It’s oel ngati kameie.” You pronounced slowly, doing the hand movement along with it. “You’ll get it at some point.”

“Wait!” Just as you opened the door, Jake had wheeled closer. “The way you say it, it’s different from how Norm did it.”

You shrugged, “Norm’s a bit too formal with his translations. Spend a little time with the Na’vi and listen to how they communicate with each other, that’s when you start to sound like them.”

Jake grinned a bit, “Why don’t you teach me? Call it a truce, you and I. Let’s make this work, yeah?”

“I don’t know.” You hummed stepping into your lab. “I still don’t like you very much.”

He raised a brow, a smirk on his lips, “You’re warming up to me though.”

“In your dreams, Puppet.”

“Video log, 100-something…I don’t know but I miss you guys.”

You say quietly to the camera. It was around night time in Pandora. The other should’ve been fast asleep by now or Jake was still in the link bed, parading around the forest with his avatar.

“It’s been a few months…since I’ve logged in, I think. I know I should be keeping up with them. And it’s been five years today since you guys left…Mom, I’ve improved and kept your work going. Hopefully I’ve done you justice…you know…I can’t exactly replace you. Your brilliance…everyone looks to me now that you’re gone…I don’t know how to feel about that. I’m not ready for it-I really don’t understand how these people think I could live up to you….”

There was a muffled sound outside of your lab. Someone was probably moving around. Whoever it was, you waited for a few seconds before you didn’t hear anymore thuds. You turned back to the camera.

“I think it was a mistake leaving me to Quaritch…and I know he’s one of your oldest friends Dad, but…this isn’t working anymore. Pandora has really shown me the truth. Something I was too naïve to notice before…but now that I do know the truth, I’m not sure….I’m not sure if I was ready for it…”

Knowing that these videos were being watched by the higher ups, you decided to cut the camera off before the tears came. The last thing you wanted was for them to see your vulnerability. To see how much their mission practically broke you. They wouldn’t have cared anyway. But it was embarrassing to imagine either way.

All you knew was that you never wanted them to ever see you cry. You would not grant them this.

The last thing they would see of you was not tears. No.

It would be a grin made of gasoline. And the fire you started in your wake.

Norm and Jake were arguing. You didn’t know what about but if you had to guess, it was probably Norm getting frustrated with Jake while he was supposed to be helping him with the language. And you were betting Jake was responding back like the smartass he was.

It wasn’t long before Grace jumped in to scold them like a parent. Now it would’ve been entertaining to listen to the three of them go at it, but they’re dumb fight was distracting you from your work, which was in itself a sin.

When the fighting never ceased, you gave up with the work you attempted to refocus on and stomped out of your lab. Outside of it, Jake and Norm were back at the small table in the corner going at it while Grace scowled and snapped at them from her spot across from them.

“—it’s like you’re trying to be dumb on purpose! How can you not get this?!” Norm snapped.

Jake scowled, “Kind of hard to listen to you when you’re talking out of your ass!”

“My god! Am I just surrounded by children these days? What the hell is wrong with you two?!” Grace glared at them.

You stood to the side and watched as they fought, both annoyed and intrigued.

Norm suddenly stood up, “You know, I don’t get it. I’ve studied and prepared myself for this for several years and he gets this chance in one go, why? What the hell has he done to even earn his place here?!”

“Spellman—” Grace sighed.

“So you're jealous?” Jake smirked, leaning back in his chair. “What, mad that I got the chief’s daughter and you got horseshit?”

You could tell Jake was just trying to get a rise out of Norm and the latter took the bait easily, “I deserve to be out there. I fucking speak the language—”

“Quaritch chose him.” Grace said simply, growing tired of the fight. “There’s nothing we could do to change that. And complaining about it sure as hell isn’t going to solve anything.” She then looked at you with a frown and spoke in Na’vi, “Are you just gonna stand there or are you going to add anything to this conversation?”

You shrugged indifferently, “You seem to have a handle on things.”

“Would the two of you stop that!” Norm snapped exasperatedly. “I can understand you! You’re not being secretive by talking in another language I know!”

Grace frowned, “Nobody said anything about being secretive, Spellman. Take a deep breath, alright? Yes, you are good at the language, which is why I need you to help Jake out here.”

Norm glared at Jake. Jake glared back, raising his brows provocatively.

You rolled your eyes before smacking Norm’s arm, “Go. I’ll take over.”

Grace raised his brows while Jake stared at you curiously and another expression you couldn’t make out. “You sure, Tinkers?”

“If it’ll get the two of these idiots to stop arguing, yeah, I’m sure.” You say, replacing the seat Norm had been sitting in before.

Norm scoffed, “Whatever.” He disappeared in the back.

“Let’s see here.” You say, looking at the notes that Norm had scribbled down. “Eywa ngahu.”

“What, no hello?” Jake grinned at you.

“Eywa ngahu.” You repeated sternly.

Jake rolled his eyes, “Eywa ngahu.”

“Good, good.” You nodded before glancing down at the papers, “Jesus, what is this handwriting?”

Jake leaned forward to get a better look at it, a little too close for your liking. He pointed to one of the phases, “Oel ngati kameie. I see you, right?”

You nodded while Grace from her corner of the room narrowed her eyes at him, “Just a few minutes ago you were struggling with it when Norm was teaching you.”

Jake shrugged innocently, “I guess I learn fast.”

“Bullshit.” Grace scoffed. She glanced from you to Jake with a strange yet knowing look before shaking her head and going back to work. Muttering under her breath, “Idiots…”

Now it was your turn to narrow your eyes at him. Jake just continued to stare at you innocently. You glanced back down at the papers noticing the red marks next to some of the phrases.

“Those were the ones we were gonna come back to.” Jake pointed out when he saw the question practically forming on your face. “They were the ones I struggled with the most.”

“Mmm.” You said for a moment. “Let’s go down the list. Ngaru lu fpom srak.”

“Ngaru lu fpom srak.”

“Fyape syaw fko ngar?”

“Jake Sully.”

You blink and Grace makes a sound that was suspiciously close to a snort. “You understood what I said?”

Jake nodded, “Yeah, it was a lot clearer when you said it.”

Bullshit. You pushed the papers away and leaned back in your chair, “Jake, were you purposefully acting obtuse just to get rid of Norm? Because if you were, that has got to be the most idiotic shit I’ve ever witnessed.”

In the corner of your eye, you could see Grace sneaking a look toward the two of you, waiting for a response.

“It’s not idiotic if it worked.” Jake winked, leaning forward on the table.

You shook your head in disbelief. And despite yourself a smile grew on your lips, “You’re such an asshole, Puppet.”

“I know. But you’re still here.”

“Shut up.”

taglist: @luvvfromme @sully-stick-together @dazedshoon @jakesullylvr @s-u-t @erenjaegerwifee @ssc7514 @cheari

#to you worlds away #avatar jake sully x reader #avatar jake sully #jake sully x reader #avatar way of water #avatar jake #jake sully #avatar 2 #avatar the way of water #jake sully fic #atwow

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