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chenziee · 2 years ago

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Ash

Attempt #idk-how-many to see if this finally shows up in the goddamned tags because I care about this verse and this fic okay

Once again, I bring you an offering of some extremely soft Lawlu with a dash of Law being embarrassingly in love (which really isn't any different from canon), feat. Law taking some romantic phrases and little bit too literally.

This is part 3 of the vivre card/Ashes of Life series but as usual, you absolutely don't need to have read the other two for this to make sense!

! Manga spoilers for chapters 1030 onward, mostly 1043 and 1044 ! Light angst with a happy ending and a lot of comfort :)

[ Read on AO3 | Full Series | Ko-Fi ]

—————

The Skull Dome of Onigashima was shaking, pieces of rubble and wood falling off the ceiling and walls. It was no wonder with all the fierce battles that were going on—really, in Law’s opinion it was more of a shock that the building was still standing after their fight with Kaido on the roof, the All Stars and Tobi Roppo going wild all over the place, not to mention the Straw Hats. They were probably doing more damage than all their enemies combined. Hell, Straw Hat himself came crashing through the goddamned floor only minutes earlier riding a pink fucking dragon.

How very Straw Hat-ya, Law thought to himself with some undeniable, if questionable, amusement.

“The fuck are you smiling about, Trafalgar?” Eustass asked with disgust.

Law scowled, quickly wiping the smile off his face as he looked at his tentative ally. “Speak for yourself,” Law shot back, eyeing the manic grin on Eustass’ lips.

Seriously.

He was surrounded by idiots.

First Straw Hat and Roronoa, now Eustass—all of them a bit too happy to pick fights with people for no reason for Law taste.

Although, Law didn’t have much room to talk.

Huffing to himself, Law stood up to his full height, leaning Kikoku’s long blade against his shoulder as he took in Big Mom’s large, threatening presence. She was staring down at them, hair aflame, sword in one hand, thunder cloud in the other. Random things brought to life were dancing at her feet, all of them laughing and taunting him and Eustass. A wide smile was plastered on her face, a smile that couldn’t be more different from the one Straw Hat always wore whenever facing a strong enemy. It was icy cold, born not of the thrill of battle but of pure bloodthirst, lacking any care for anything or anyone.

Law much preferred Straw Hat’s idiotic, excited grins even though they always gave him a headache in the end.

“You have that disgusting expression on your face again,” Eustass said with a click of his tongue.

“Fuck off, Eustass-ya. Focus on the enemy,” Law retorted but he schooled his expression back to neutral.

What was he even doing, thinking about Straw Hat while he had Big Mom raging and ready to kill right in front of him? How stupid. But somehow, he couldn’t help but feel lighter because of it. Because that’s what Luffy did, wasn’t it? Making people stop doubting themselves, giving them hope when there was none, pushing them forward when they saw no path ahead.

Even now, he was on the roof fighting Kaido after he was already defeated twice, stubbornly charging forward to show the way to all the warriors fighting inside the Skull Dome. He would beat Kaido no matter what it took, no matter how many times he got beat down—he would always bounce back like the rubbery idiot he was and finally bring dawn to Wano. And Law had no doubt that he would succeed.

Shaking his head to clear it, Law chased all these useless thoughts away. No matter how confident in their—and Luffy’s—victory he was, they were still facing two Emperors.

Really, having fought them both, he could describe them as nothing but monsters. And honestly… It was fun. And even if it meant he had to work with Eustass, he would make sure to drag Big Mom down from her perch, from the comfortable, untouchable seat of an Emperor of the Sea.

The Rocks’ era was over two years ago.

Now, it was their era to claim.

Flexing his hand, a smirk pulled on Law’s lips. How much would it take to dethrone two relics of a time long gone? How much to claim their seats?

He was sure they were going to find out soon.

“K-Room.”

He was going to bring Big Mom down right here, right now. And then he was going to watch Luffy as he tore the rest of the old world down.

—————

Gasping for breath, Law finally let himself drop to the floor, completely spent. For a moment, he wondered if he could just pass out and sleep for a week now—he deserved at least that after overusing his awakened powers and sending Big Mom who knows how far underground, right?

“Captain!!”

He heard his crew cheer from somewhere but he didn’t bother looking in that direction; he only closed his eyes, leaning his back against the rubble as he relaxed. Now the only things that remained was cleaning out the fodder, the All Stars, and Kaido.

Law took a deep breath, focusing his Observation Haki to gauge the situation. Honestly, it was near impossible to tell what was even going on inside the Dome but he couldn’t say he cared. It was enough that he couldn’t find either King’s, Queen’s or Jack’s presence. Beside that… the only thing that mattered to him was the roof.

“Straw Hat-ya,” Law muttered, finally opening his eyes to stare at the ceiling where he could sense Luffy’s and Kaido’s Voices.

They were both much weaker than they were at the start of this night but they were still raging to go… although Law could tell Straw Hat was about as exhausted as Law himself. It wouldn’t be long for that fight to be over as well.

“Captain! Are you okay?!” Bepo asked with urgency as he fell to his knees next to Law to check him over.

Law only hummed noncommittally, barely paying attention while he focused on the Voices above. Why were there three now?

And then… there were only two again.

And a split second later… only one.

A single Voice.

And it wasn’t Luffy.

Law’s eyes widened as he shot up, ignoring his protesting body that refused to move. He needed to make sure.

Law paid no attention to Bepo’s cry, the mink probably shocked from the speed and suddenness of his best friend’s movement, but Law just didn’t care. Not now.

“Room,” he growled, a tiny sphere appearing around his hand for a second before it flickered out of existence again. Law clicked his tongue impatiently, before trying again, "Fucking—Room.”

Finally, his power listened to him and a Room came to life, holding stable, and Law continued, turning his hand up to his chest. “Scalpel.”

“Captain, what are you doing?!” Bepo cried in alarm.

“Not now, Bepo,” Law snapped.

“Have you finally lost it, Trafalgar?” Eustass asked then, voice mocking.

“Shut up!” Law really didn’t have the patience for any of them right now. He could feel his heart being a mile per second as he took it out of his ribcage, his breathing shallow while his mind went completely blank, his vision narrowing until he could barely see anything. “Hold this,” he told Bepo absent-mindedly before he dropped his heart into Bepo’s lap.

He could hear Bepo fumbling to grab it, probably terrified something would happen to the organ with it being treated so carelessly by its owner.

Law, however, simply reached into the hole that was left in his chest, searching—searching for something that should be so easy to grab but that he simply couldn’t find. It couldn’t be gone, it simply couldn’t… Where is it? Please no no no—

Finally, his fingers touched something that didn’t belong in the crevice and Law quickly took it out, clenching it in his fist for a moment. He was scared to look at it. He could already feel it—he could feel the burn, feel the size, feel it falling apart. He didn’t want to look but there was nothing else for him, nothing to do, no way to avoid it. Fuck, he could hear it from his Voice anyway.

He was just so scared.

Taking a shaky breath, Law opened his hand to look at the piece of paper on his palm—or what was left of it.

“Did you seriously just pull a vivre card out of your fucking chest? Are you actually insane?” Eustass asked with his voice completely blank and Law could just imagine the weirded out expression he was probably wearing right then. But then, Eustass continued, “Wait. Don’t tell me that’s—”

“Straw Hat…” Bepo breathed quietly, carefully.

Law didn’t react to either of them. He only gulped heavily, watching as the tiny, oh so tiny piece of paper moved weakly across his palm, getting smaller with every second as the edges burned more and more. There was barely anything left. Barely enough to hang onto any hope.

“What are you doing?” Law growled, but he could barely hear himself. There was a hum in his ears, a white noise that didn’t mean anything, didn’t serve any purpose but to drive him even more mad.

He refused to believe this.

The paper had to be lying.

There was simply no way, no way that Luffy lost.

No way that his life was about to disappear, leaving behind nothing but a few specks of ash.

He had to do something. He blindly reached his free hand, searching for Kikoku, getting ready to get up but his legs weren’t listening to him. He didn’t have any strength left to even move, much less fight.

And then… it was too late anyway.

“No—” Law could barely let out before the last bits of paper scattered into the air, leaving behind nothing more than the ghost of the feeling of burning embers on his palm.

For a moment, it was like time had stopped. Law couldn’t breathe, couldn’t hear, couldn’t feel anything. He only sat there motionlessly while Bepo panicked beside him, Eustass cursing somewhere so very far away. And still, the only thing running through his mind was no, this can’t be happening.

What kind of sick joke was this?

They had come so far; they brought all these people together, they pulled off this raid, they beat all the strongest enemies… The only one left was Kaido and up until this very moment, Law had no doubt he would witness yet another miracle of Straw Hat’s own making.

He never even considered this possibility. If he had known, he would have never—

He shouldn’t have left the roof.

He should have helped.

He should have been there.

But he didn’t and he wasn’t and now he was here; alone. Left with nothing but a hole in his chest and a few pieces of dust on his skin that were just a reminder of what used to be a solid chunk of paper—one full of life which was stronger than any other, with determination to pull through anything and still burn brightly like the sun.

So why? Why did this happen?

Law barely flinched when the ceiling came crashing down and Kaido’s booming voice demanded Momonosuke’s head, declaring Luffy’s death in the same breath.

It wasn’t a surprise to him, after all. It didn’t fucking matter what Kaido said at this point.

“It was a short-lived dream…” Eustass muttered.

“Suppose it’s the cold, hard reality. We have nothing left,” Law replied, voice completely void of emotion. He still couldn’t tear his eyes away from charred, black remains of Luffy’s life-force still clinging to his skin.

“Fuck this. I’m going to fight, Trafalgar. I’m not surrendering just like that,” Eustass announced, slowly getting to his feet even though his movements were sluggish and wobbly.

And Law knew—he knew that was the right thing to do. He, too, was going to fight. This was no time to sit here and be completely useless…

But before he could so much as look up, something stopped him. “What the—”

Completely frozen, Law could only watch with wide eyes as specks of dust and ash gathered in his palm, swirling in place as if guided by a non-existent gust of wind. It took Law a long moment to realise what was happening; and how could he? It was ridiculous, completely unheard of, and if Law didn’t see it happening in real time, he would never have believed it.

But there it was, the very same vivre card that had burned down to nothing a mere minute ago, back in one piece as if nothing happened and only growing bigger each second.

The wave of powerful haki that followed seemed almost redundant then. And when the deafening beat of a drum started echoing in his mind, Law had no doubt what was happening anymore. Or well, he still had absolutely no idea what was even going on but he did know the most important thing.

“Fucking idiot,” Law sighed as his fingers curled into a fist around the full-sized, alive vivre card, clutching it close.

“What’s going on? What’s this sound?!” Bepo asked, paws on his ears as he looked around with confusion.

“Just Straw Hat-ya doing something ridiculous. Again. Don’t worry about it, he’s really going to finish it now.” Law let go of a tired breath, finally allowing himself to relax again. He felt so exhausted… As if the fight with Big Mom wasn’t enough, Straw Hat just had to go and make it worse.

He was going to have a word with this idiot when this was all over.

“Uhm, captain?”

Cracking one eye open, Law glanced at Bepo, humming questioningly.

Bepo fumbled for a moment, looking like he was trying to pick something up while absolutely terrified to touch it. Only when he managed to raise his paws up, did Law realise why. “Sorry. What—what about your heart?”

“Shit I completely forgot,” Law groaned, forcing himself to sit up again before he reached over to grab the organ from Bepo’s awkward hold to put it back in place. “Thanks.”

“Freak,” someone noted.

“Fuck off, Eustass-ya.”

—————

Whatever Law had expected to happen when Straw Hat had come back, it sure as hell wasn’t that. He still wasn’t sure what did actually happen but watching Luffy, with his hair and clothes pure white, jump and run around, change sizes however he wished, bend the very laws of nature to his own will, and laugh like a maniac the whole time… It was both completely surreal and perfectly Straw Hat at the same time.

And watching him now, having fun during the celebratory festival as if nothing happened…

Law just felt so tired.

“Captain? Are you okay?” Penguin asked when Law got up from the ground where he and his crew had been drinking at the sidelines of the heart of the festival.

No, Law's mind immediately supplied but he bit his tongue, refusing to let the word slip out.

“I need a break,” Law said without elaborating.

Penguin looked like he was about to press him but when their eyes met, he deflated and nodded, making Law sigh in relief. He really didn’t feel like explaining the frustration he felt right then—not to his crew, not to his friends, not to anyone. He was sure Penguin, Shachi and Bepo could understand what was on his mind either way, after all the time they’ve known each other.

Without another word, Law turned around and left, leaving the noise and energy of the festival behind. He didn’t even know where he was heading, he simply knew he needed to get away; get somewhere where he could breathe, where he didn’t have to put up a facade of being alright.

Because he wasn’t alright. Not after Onigashima; the fight with Kaido, Big Mom, and everything after… It was too much. And with everyone celebrating and all the stress falling away, it was getting impossible to hide.

He really didn’t want to see anyone but of course, it couldn’t be that easy.

“Torao!! Finally found you!”

Heaving a deep sigh, Law stopped in his tracks, rubbing at his forehead. He already felt a headache coming; he wasn’t ready for this conversation but he knew there would be no point in trying to run away from this stubborn idiot. He always had a way to find Law wherever he would try to hide.

“Straw Hat-ya. What is it?” he asked when the other captain stopped next to him, out breath but with a wide smile plastered on his face and Law hated how his heart skipped a beat at the sight.

“I just wanted to see you! Your friends said you went on a walk so I thought I’d join you!” he announced proudly.

Law didn’t respond, he only turned away and started walking again.

“Oi, Torao. Wait for me,” Straw Hat said, obviously taken aback by Law’s lack of communication.

“Then keep up,” Law shot back. He wasn’t even sure why he was being so short with him but he was just so annoyed.

They walked in silence for a moment and Law could feel Straw Hat’s gaze on the side of his head the entire time. He wanted to snap at him to stop staring, to just go away but somehow… he didn’t even care anymore.

He wasn’t surprised when Straw Hat finally spoke up, probably unable to bear the silence anymore, “Torao. What’s wrong?”

Law closed his eyes momentarily, praying for patience. He couldn’t say anyone was listening to him, however, and he felt his blood-pressure raising as he gritted his teeth. “Take a fucking guess,” he hissed.

Straw Hat tilted his head to the side, his eyebrows scrunching up into an adorable frown—one that only made Law even more annoyed. “I won’t know unless you talk to me, Torao…”

“Fine! You want to know what’s wrong? You’re what’s wrong!” Law finally snapped, running his hands through his hair in frustration, knocking his hat off in the process but he didn’t even care. “What the fuck were you thinking? You just let Kaido push you to that point without asking for help and without anyone even fucking knowing! And then what happened?!”

“Tora—” Straw Hat started before stopping himself. He quietly watched Law as he started pacing back and forth and continued ranting.

“Actually, I don’t even want to know what was running through that empty goddamned head of yours. Probably fucking nothing because you never think. You never stop to plan anything, never even wonder what might happen! Did the fact you already lost once and ended up in a fucking labour camp mean nothing? Why are you always so fucking reckless—”

“Law!” Straw Hat finally called before he grabbed Law’s arm, forcing him to stop in his tracks. “Law, look at me.”

“Fuck off, Straw Hat-ya. Let me go!” Law growled, trying to pry his arm out of Luffy’s vice grip without much success.

“No! Law, please. Look at me. We won. We’re both fine, all of us are fine. Nothing—”

“Don’t you dare say nothing happened!” Law interrupted as he finally yanked his arm free to instead point at Luffy’s chest, poking him hard just above his heart with every word that followed, “You. Fucking. Died.”

Silence followed his final statement. Luffy simply looked at him in silence, those large, honest eyes seemingly peering right into Law’s soul and taking him apart to the last atom while Law only stood there, glaring back at him as he panted lightly, out of breath after his tirade. He didn’t even care if he sounded pathetic and childish; he was just so angry. Angry and frustrated and tired and so scared.

It took a full minute before either of them moved but finally, Straw Hat opened his mouth, speaking quietly, “But I didn’t die, Law. I’m here now.”

Law clicked his tongue. “Luffy, you fucking died. Your vivre card burned to nothing in my fucking hand and I could do fuck all about it.”

And that was the entire heart of the matter, wasn’t it? That Law didn’t know until it was too late, that he couldn’t do anything about it, that he was completely and utterly helpless. Helpless in supporting him, helpless in protecting him, helpless in bringing him back.

It was only thanks to luck, the absolute ridiculousness of the Gum Gum Fruit, and Straw Hat’s endless willpower that he was even standing in front of Law right now. Law couldn’t do anything to support the love of his miserable fucking life when he most needed it.

He knew Luffy wouldn’t have wanted his help in the first place. He knew the best thing he could have done in that situation was to take care of Big Mom. He knew.

And yet…

“I’m sorry,” Luffy said finally, voice serious.

Law sighed heavily. “No, you’re not.”

“Well, I mean—” Straw Hat folded his hands behind his head, a small pout appearing on his lips— “I’m not sorry about picking a fight with Kaido, he deserved it!”

“See?” Law groaned while rubbing the bridge of his nose. Why was this idiot so—

“But I am sorry I scared you. Really.”

As soon as Law heard those words, it was like all energy drained from him and his shoulders sagged. He didn’t even care anymore; he just wanted to sleep and not have to think about any of this. Why was he even so angry in the first place? It was all done and over already. No what-ifs or alternatives could change what really happened and Luffy was right—they were okay now and everything worked out.

So what did it matter?

Clicking his tongue, Law turned away. He wanted to pick up his forgotten hat and just leave but before he could so much as lean down, Luffy’s fingers closed around his wrist, stopping him. He looked at him questioningly but before he could so much as say anything, Luffy shook his head, tugged at Law’s hand gently… and smiled.

“Come here,” he said quietly, opening his arms in invitation.

Law scowled, not moving a muscle but he didn’t protest when Luffy took a step closer, his arms snaking behind Law’s back and pulling him into a hug. It still took him a moment but soon, it became impossible to fight the warmth and security of Luffy’s embrace and he let himself relax, sinking into the feeling.

Letting go of a shaky breath, Law buried his face into the crook of Luffy’s neck, his arms coming to wrap around Luffy’s waist, pulling him closer. Suddenly, Law realised this was the first time he had touched Luffy since before the battle of Onigashima—really, when was the last time? Probably in the Amigasa village the morning before the raid, when they had exchanged a quick kiss before they each went their own way, to their own crews and their own ships.

After the battle, Luffy was unconscious for days and being cared for by Tony; there was no reason for Law to hang around. He really only got to see him earlier today once the festival started but Luffy being Luffy, he barely said hi to Law before he ran off to raid every stall he could get to.

Maybe… all Law needed was to feel his warmth, touch his skin, smell his hair—make sure he was real, solid, breathing.

That he was alive.

“I’m not going anywhere, Torao,” Luffy mumbled quietly as he slowly ran his fingers through Law’s hair.

“Back to stupid nicknames, are we?” Law asked instead of acknowledging his words.

Straw Hat snickered. “You love it!”

“Fuck off, Straw Hat-ya,” Law sighed.

At that, Luffy only laughed harder. “I love you, Torao.”

Law clicked his tongue, his fingers curling into the fabric of Luffy’s yukata. “Shut up.”

“No. I love you!” he sang, his voice shaking in amusement.

“Fine!” Law snapped. “I love you too. Happy?”

“Yep!” Straw Hat announced proudly and Law could just picture the impossibly bright, blinding smile that was undoubtedly plastered on his face. “Now I just need some of the meat Sanji was cooking before I left to chase you…”

Law groaned. And here he thought they were having a moment… “I take it back. I fucking hate you.”

“What?! But I was going to share with you!”

“I don’t want any,” Law said and despite himself, a smile pulled on his lips.

“But it looked so tasty,” Straw Hat whined.

With an amused huff, Law finally pulled away from Luffy, taking in the adorable pout that was adorning his lips. He didn’t resist the temptation to kiss it away.

But, even after they separated, the unhappy expression stayed in Luffy’s face and Law chuckled, shaking his head at the sight. “You can have the meat, I don’t care.”

Immediately, Luffy’s face split into that blinding grin that made Law fall in love in the first place and he cheered, grabbing Law’s hand to drag him back towards the festival. Law barely had the time to grab his hat off the ground before Luffy’s rubbery pull gave him no choice but to follow.

It was hours later—hours during which he was forced to literally wrestle a laughing Luffy away from the food stalls and their desperately crying owners, only to instead end up goaded into playing many of the available games with Luffy, the Straw Hats, his own crew, Kaido’s son, and Eustass of all people—that Law realised the weight he had been carrying around for days had lifted.

And he wasn’t tired anymore.

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