#one on and going big bang

[hyunjins-orange-slice-too]

is this not the most attractive thing you’ve ever seen in your life? his smile? the hair? HELLO?

[soapbbox]

Sorry in advance.

[wheatcak3]

"Ghosting Along" by TourettesDog

Paxopalotls's super awesome arts:

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

My arts:

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

My second piece for this event ✨Hehe he's eating chips :3

Shoutout to the coolest writer and artist @tourettesdog and @paxopalotls as my partners!! Both their work is really good and I admire them lots you should check them out! 🥺👉👈

[wormdebut]

Give me scary metal head rock star Eddie Munson and his best friend sapphic pop princess icon Chrissy Cunningham. I need Eddie Munson absolutely bodying HOT TO GO during one of Chrissy’s shows.

[sonysakura]

🚫 My Sonic Big Bang 2024 Experience

...Or how a few months of my life were severely negatively impacted by someone else's bad management. See for yourself.

Proof of the rule they're speaking about being actively hidden from the participants to this day: FAQ – archived link, screenshot with "Who can participate?" on top, screenshot with "explicit" word search, screenshot with "nsfw" word search; Master Guide – screenshot with "explicit" word search, screenshot with "nsfw" word search; server rules – long screenshots of General Server Rules and StH Big Bang Specific Rules: Mar 12 and Jul 01, screenshots of Strike Policy: Mar 12 and Jul 01, long screenshot of General Guidelines, long screenshot of Collaboration Thread Guidelines.

I feel like this is extremely unfair 😭 One moment I was participating in the event I dreamed about for years, and the next moment I'm thrown out into the cold when I did nothing wrong. I need to get it off my chest...

Below, more about my experience with the event, though it ended up a little vent-y, a detailed (and verified!) record of what exactly happened in private thread #48, the aftermath and some fun facts I discovered or want to share:

First things first! Yep, I signed up for Sonic BB as a Writer back in January. I didn't talk about it outside of my server 'cause I wanted it to be a surprise – when I roll out a lo-o-ong illustrated fic without a warning. I'll admit, I always wanted to participate in a Big Bang for this fandom, it was a dream of sorts. And still, before sending my form in, I carefully read all of the Master Guide and the FAQ both. Seeing as how for my neurodivergent brain the rules and regulations are important, that's what I usually do for events, and this one wasn't an exception. Confident that I understand what the event would require of me, I signed up.

First month of the event went well. My questions were answered (even though I wondered why some of the things I asked couldn't have been in the Master Guide from the beginning), I wrote my fic summary and submitted it without many problems, etc. There was a small hiccup at the very beginning of March when I noticed how strict the management seemed to be (no changes or adjustments allowed), and my anxiety got the best of me, so I asked the mods if there's a plan in case a collab team doesn't work out: screenshot of my message in #writers-info-and-questions, pulled from my Discord data; screenshot of my detailed explanation in DMs; screenshot of Mod Joy's reply. Here are the most important quotes from his reply:

I understand wanting to plan for the worst case scenarios, but I would caution you not to freak yourself out over what all could go wrong! There are some absolutely lovely artists in this event who are excited to work with the writers. Odds are, things will go off without a hitch.

We are highly encouraging that no one drops out after the assignments, especially writers, unless due to extenuating circumstances.

We want to make everything as fun and stress-free for everyone. Know that we will be around to moderate threads and dissolve any tensions that arise,..

In short, I was placated with reassurances of careful moderation, not dropping writers and ✨positivity✨. I decided to stay and challenge myself since originally BB is meant to be a challenge and all...

For those of you who haven't participated: the way it is supposed to go is that writers submit short summaries of their stories, these summaries are stripped of the writers' names and given to artists to pick through. The artists then have to list their Top 10 stories to illustrate during the claims period. After the claims, private collab threads are made for each writer and their artists with a couple of mods. So no one else could see what happens in these threads.

Now flashforward to March 11th and the threads being created. Obviously I don't have screenshots of that due to being kicked off the server without any warning and before any chance of communication, unable to delete my personal information or save anything that might be used against me which was a case of poor management at best and a deliberate move at worst, so I'm retelling as faithfully as possible. It also has been verified by [artist 1] and according to them, this is exactly what happened.

My fic was in the 4-8k range, and I got two artists. I was asleep when the thread opened, and they talked about how excited they are for my fic before I came in. Both of them are 18, young but adults. I’ll call them [artist 1] (they're cool), and the other one is [artist 2]. Both artists seemed to talk to me normally.

Oh, I have to point out that there were hmm, Mods Chaz, Joy, Summers and Frostios in my thread. I think only four of them, but I know for sure Mod Summers was reading our conversation at least in the beginning because I noticed my fic's Warnings saying "None" (the original summary I submitted had Warnings: Discussion of Homophobia, Slight Internalised Homophobia), and I pointed out that there are warnings, though I don't know if they were lost just now or weren't in the sheet available to the Artists either, and whether they were actually lost or mods didn't consider it a big enough warning to keep... I still don't know. Mod Summers just silently pinned my message.

I mentioned how I'm in one of the Asian timezones geographically, so I might be awake or asleep at unconventional times, and they told me their timezones (I didn't ask!), so I figured I can make a timebuddy chart for easy tracking what time it is for everyone. Made one, sent the link to the thread, Mod Summers asked me if I want it pinned, too, and then a couple of hours later (I think?) [artist 1] came and said it's very helpful. This is my evidence for at least Mod Summers probably reading the conversation that followed but also maybe not. I think all of the mods were online or at least visually online when it was happening.

This is where I reveal that the entire conversation happened in like... one afternoon 🥲 Roughly 7 pm to 2 am for me.

Back to the conversation itself. There were a few questions I had so I started with them, basically 1) if they've read my fics before (explained that I'm asking so I know whether I need to tell them about my writing style and Sonadow dynamics I write); 2) do they want me to send in scenes as I write them or they want a full draft; 3) if they have any immediate questions for me. Question 1) is what we need. Both of them said they've never read my stuff before, and that they don't have any questions now but they want art to be as close to text as possible, so they will ask in the future. This is how it went down after (as per my memory, artist rendition I guess):

[artist 1]: I haven't read your fics but I'd like to! Your Ao3 is the same as your handle? [no link]

Me: It isn't a requirement, you don't have to! But that's right. I have to warn you though that I usually rate my Ao3 profile as 18+ when I link it, though 33/36 of my Sonic fics are rated G and T, and I feel like a warning is in order anyway so people don't accidentally stumble upon something they don't want to see and know what to avoid/filter out. [I didn't post any links or encouraged the artists to read my profile, just made a warning to be cautious]

We go into discussion of how long I have been writing, [artist 1] shows no problems with knowing my Ao3 has 3 Mature fics, I describe what series my fic will be for [the series is completely SFW, and even then I didn't post the link to it] and go into details of how I write Sonadow dynamics in my fics without mentioning the NSFW ones obviously, we speak about Question 2).

[artist 2]: [replying to my warning about my Ao3] ooohh so you write gore sometimes?

Me: Nah, I don't actually, I'm pretty uncomfortable with it tbh, so no, I don't. Some blood and a quick description of Maria's dead body is the most I have ever done 😅 All the angst I make characters go through is emotional rather than physical!

[artist 2]: oh I shouldn't have assumed, sorry. It's just the first thing my mind went to

Me: It's okay! I've been a medical student at some point and I think I've just had enough of that - one of the main reasons I'm not a doctor but a linguist.

[artist 1] gets excited about this for some reason, and we chat about it for a moment.

Normal conversation continues like...

Me: Okay, where were we

[artist 2]: i wasn't paying attention errr

Me: Me neither! But it's Question 3)

I go into saying how them wanting to draw as close to the text is 💯 what I wanted to hear because for me my texts are an extension of my soul, I'm fragile about them, and I'd prefer the art to be exactly according to it blah-blah-blah, I describe my thoughts about a plan of work for us and how I'm going to share pieces of my fic according to their respective wishes.

[artist 1]: Sounds great!

[artist 2]: yeah, sounds good

[artist 1] says something else which I just react with an emoji to, and I start getting ready for sleep because it's almost 2 am, and I have to get up at 6 am.

Nothing else was said in the thread. That's it.

I got to bed and as most people nowadays I check my phone one last time. I see [artist 2] requesting a mod they can DM to, but I don't think much of it…

So 6 am. I wake up and again, as most people nowadays, I check my phone. I went to sleep in a good mood, seemingly in good relations with my artists, excited for the collab and having a solid plan everyone agreed to, so I eagerly open Discord to see if they wrote anything new in the thread. I see no Sonic Big Bang 2024 server.

I will not go into too much detail about my state, but I have an extremely acute reaction to stress very similar to a panic attack that lasts for hours. So with shaking fingers I open my DMs to see the message from that first screenshot I started my post with. The following exchange with me learning about the hidden rule happens the next day. Unfortunately, before that I still have to go to work for a full day in that very same mental state, oof. Plus I have no breaks on Tuesday... I go back and forth all day with my friends about how shitty this situation is, and one of them asks me how [artist 1] reacted. I say that I don't know, but they still follow me on Tumblr so I go and message them, and from what they tell me, it sounds like a mod pretended to them that I was removed because of an existing rule that's stated somewhere. They didn't argue with that, and that's understandable of course.

At home, I notice one of the event mods blocked me.

It is difficult to explain what's happening in my mind without going into details of what my [disorders] are, but things that are unfair, things that are injustice put my brain in a loop until all wrongs are righted. I'm ranting about it to friends, and I think about it day and night. On March 14th I vent about it in the tags of a related reblog, and this is the only instance of me talking about StH BB on my blog. Next morning I'm blocked by the event blog and over the next 2 weeks – by two more mods, while another mod speaks to me passively-aggressively in a shared Discord server. Then I'm shown a screenshot where one of the mods claims I offered my Ao3 to my artists (I didn't) and implies everyone who writes NSFW is dangerous. And then I receive a hate ask about the event, calling me "creepy"... All this time, my brain is still stuck in a loop, and let me tell you – it's not fun. It doesn't help that my first reaction to everything that makes me feel bad is always to assume I'm at fault for everything, and seeing how hostile people are to me, I'm drowning in self-blame. Without going into any more detail, it takes me 2 months and a lot of help to somewhat recover, so I finally send my reply to Headmod Chaz and receive one back:

If you got to this part, you know that half of Headmod Chaz's reply is simply untrue since there were no "multiple instances", and in any case I was never asked to keep quiet about my ban (and why should I?). I sent another reply a month later expressing my confusion and wondering when the messages will be removed (only my intro was removed). As of today, that reply is still ignored, and the messages aren't removed 🤷

And this is the entirety of my Sonic Big Bang 2024 experience. Now for some Q&A:

Why did you wait so long to make this post? I didn't want to put any participants under fire, particularly my friends because I'll admit, the mods seem like petty people. And also I was worried about throwing shade on other participants (people associating their works with this) or spoiling the event for people who were genuinely having fun with it. Thus, I waited until it was over!

Is this a callout post? According to definition as "public criticism or asking someone to explain their actions", I think it is – in terms of calling out bad management. It is definitely not a call for harassment. There is a reason I censored some names and left vague who reported me, blocked me, was hostile to me or spread rumours about me. Please don't bother anyone, and if the mods decide to engage with this, they can post their own statement.

Aside from the above reasons, why make a post at all? Two reasons: a personal one and an altruistic one. Firstly, I hope to get closure this way since I still feel like I was unjustly thrown away when I was just being a dutiful person. Secondly, while Headmod Chaz said they will be transparent about this rule next time they run an event, as you can see they fully ignored my suggestion of doing it now, and in general keeping a rule hidden to such an extent where you lie in your FAQ is pretty shady... I don't trust them not to do it again next year.

Is it okay to reblog the post/reply to it, what about sending an ask or a PM? I turned off the reblogs, but you can still reply or PM or send a non-anonymous ask (anonymous asks will be deleted because I want to be able to answer privately). If you decide to be negative or call me names, however, be prepared to be blocked by IP or username.

Finally, fun facts as promised 🔥

There are other participants out there who have had negative experiences with BB or were made uncomfortable by the way it was managed, but I'm not going to speak for them;

There was this whole thing with hypocrisy and possible favouritism;

Despite the mods insisting on ME being quiet about my ban, it's now known that they shared information about it outside the mod group;

Out of 6 mods: 5 have me blocked, 2 were passive-aggressive with 1 of them going as far as verbally lash out at me in DMs, and only 1 mod gave me a somewhat human apology before blocking me (not pictured in screenshots);

I saw 3 NSFW writers and at least 2 NSFW artists participating in BB just by scrolling through my dash, without seeking them out, and this is not counting people I noticed in the server prior to me being banned;

Some people are posting Mature and Explicit extras and sequels/prequels to their BB stories already;

The artist who reported me seems to have dropped out anyway;

There's a joke reason why I'm making a post, too: I have to earn being blocked from the event blog since they said they did it because of multiple instances of me talking about my removal;

For this post (and because one of their staff members is a former Big Bang mod), I was forever banned from participating in Chaos Quill Collection projects;

I'm actually grace and most of the time write my characters as aspec, and I'm exploring what sexuality and intimacy mean for me through writing, so this situation felt a little... like gatekeeping;

My fic was #48 under the title Chao Care 101, and I want you to give me a high five if you had it among your top choices 🖐

Originally, I wasn't going to complete my BB fic because it made me feel bad, but now I've decided I want to reclaim it, so I'm writing it now. Almost 8k words at the moment. It will be published. And it will be illustrated;

Meanwhile, what good came out of this disaster is Sonic Supernova 2025, and I recommend you all to keep an eye out for this inclusive Big Bang-like event 🌟

[matcha-b]

i participated in the nevermoor big bang and this is my art for @isathewanderer 's fic "you don't have to be sorry"

[laurrelise]

quick question because i’m curious:

[brown-bear-64]

Honestly the best way I can describe the 2nd season of Arcane is written by extremely competend writers who bit off way more than they could chew. Especially in that short of a timeframe.

It's possible that it was a higher up decision for future League shows, but the focus on the Black Rose & magic worldbuilding took away focus from the core cast and the narrative of 2 cities/sisters opposed to one another. They desperately needed at least 3 more episodes

The writers are competent, but they made some deliberate choices I don't like and pulled focus from things I believe they should've left in focus. It feels like the entire narrative of the show got changed between seasons, and maybe it was always the intention and I should rewatch the entire show front-to-back without a massive hiatus in-between them for me to get it, but from my current standing... It could've been more, and the things that they did focus on and give time to were really good. It's just that the show lost its priorities and primary narrative along the way

[scarefox]

hey Taemin what... 😭

[sssaturnsnake]

would you still love me if i said i was a fan of sam fennah’s work (mini submission for @sanjiartcollab)

[qoldenskies]

i am being intentionally vague about the actual plot of wwww just because i plan on making a fic out of it but i will GLADLY talk about the doomed future for the au and im thinking .... im Thinking. i think the idea of them falling one by one like dominoes is a painful and compelling concept, HOWEVER. when it comes to the themes of wwww, wouldn't it make so much more sense and hurt way more if they all died together at once in a last stand fight ....

in vaguest terms where we went wrong is ABOUT division. even when they're all together, they're divided. it takes the invasion to make leo and mikey get along, actually-- battle is the one thing that connects the four of them. makes them feel like a unit, like they were built to be. they lived divided and they fell together, because maybe they cant stop the kraang, but they can certainly slow them down so casey can get to the past.

they go down together-- it's all of them or none of them. they know there's no winning and making it out alive, but they can at least make it an explosive triumph on the way out.

[gjdraws]

Have you watched Paul in Tales of the City, both the original & the newest iteration? He's so lovely in it!

also you have the best fandom taste, from Law School, Lawrusso to Due South ❤️

IT IS ON MY LIST T_T I have heard many, many good things about Brian Hawkins played by best boy Paul where he goes from babey boy to snowy fox (babey boy)??? I'm saving it tbh, I'm currently watching Caught from 2018 which also features snowy fox Paul (highly rec if you're into smash-boom-bang thrillers btw).

As for fandom taste lmao I thank you, I just have a very specific bias towards very capable, smart men with a massive faultline running through the middle.

Thank you this is the first thing I've drawn since mermay ended

[vaguely-concerned]

actually the more I listen and compare the more I think that a better way to describe the difference between the british masc rook voice and the american one overall is that the british sounds like a very real person who is being genuinely fierce and determined despite the fact that they are scared and understand the gravity of the situation. and the american one sounds like they might really be deeply fucking nuts enough that when the chips are down they are not even really afraid they're busy being a creature of pure 'go go go!!' fjdsklfjsa. when they really hit their stride they become less a person, more some divine instrument being used for the wildest improvised guitar solo you could ever imagine (and desperately trying to keep up with themselves as the rock ballad of inspiration sure is Happening To Them So Much). BIG moist von lipwig vibes, for those in the fandom overlap

[machinthemachine]

Now seems as good a time as any to reveal I've been a VIP since 2011

[donationwayne]

here's my confession (I'm kind of hooked on you)

Pairing: Buddie || 6.5k/109k || Chapter 1/19 ||

Hello, I participated in @118bigbang !! This is the first chapter (I'll be dropping the rest through the month). I'm so excited to finally be sharing this fic with everyone, I've worked so hard!!! Lots of moral support from my friends in the Buddie Enablers Anonymous discord <3

This is also lovingly entitled: DILF EDDIE

Summary:

Buck is forced to go on a temporary medical leave after getting crushed by a flight of stairs. In the meantime, he works at dispatch while he recovers. One evening after work, Buck hooks up with a mysterious, hot, family oriented DILF. The following morning he’s mortified and a little love sick after discovering said hook-up aka Eddie Diaz is the newest (temporary) firefighter liaison--poached from a house in El Paso, Texas. Buck navigates becoming best friends and eventually work partners with his ex-hookup. In the meantime, he desperately tries not to fall in love. He fails.

Cue: An adorable five year old, prank wars, gay offs, break room gossip, a fake dating plot, firefighting shenanigans, a packed summer of PTA responsibilities, karaoke, and copious amounts of cupcakes and thai food

OR

tldr: the hot dilf from the bar is my new work partner ______

SNIP:

“Bobby invited us for lunch. Athena’s getting me out of the apartment and making me walk around like a dog who needs to get its energy out.” Buck explains earning a huff of amusement from Athena. Hen smacks him lightly for his mock petulant tone.

Without being asked, Hen loops her arm around his waist and helps him tackle the stairs. Buck lets out a slow breath, seeing firsthand that absolutely nothing has changed during his month and a half away from the team soothes him. Bobby is in the kitchen with Chimney who is pestering him incessantly. The sight makes his chest ache because he never wants to lose these people. They felt more like family than his own ever had growing up. In such a short amount of time they’d come to know each other so deeply, they've already been through so much—especially after Chimney had his incident with the wreck and the rebar. He was barely back from his own medical leave before Buck had his own incident.

Although Bobby nagged him for weeks, Buck opted for a tiny graduation celebration. At the time, he hadn’t known how to explain to Bobby that there was no one outside of his tiny circle of friends to invite. Now Athena knows though, and he needs to make a mental note to ask if she could keep their conversation between the two of them. He doesn’t want to change the way his friends see him, and he doesn't want pity. He’s worried this new information might be a little too on the nose.

“What’s new with you, Buckley?” Chimney calls across the room, smiling and waving. “How you healing up?” Buck slides into a seat at the dining table, and Bobby, Chim, and Hen turn their full attention onto him.

“I’m healing alright. They’ve still got me on track for a return after six months. I’ll be able to walk without the crutch before too long, my ribs should be healed in a couple of weeks. Then I’ll just have PT to contend with, because of the leg strain and the fracture, my trainer says it might be tenuous, so I have that to look forward to at least.”

“It’ll be here in no time,” Chimney promised. “You just need to get a hobby. You’re lacking in those. Maybe I could make you a list of movies, you’re tragically behind on pop culture.”

“Actually, I've accepted a temporary position at dispatch,” Buck admits. Bobby beams, and Buck barely restrains a groan.

“Yes, I finally caved.” Buck tells him, although he didn’t ask. “Athena took me to visit today.”

___ Reblogs to boost appreciated :)

[kangaracha]

bay tree + skz

Bay Tree: 'how we conquered the world'

written by @keepswingin

---

Felix stands at his side. Neither of them flinch at the fire that rains down from above, igniting forests and villages alike. They can hear screams from here, can smell the smoke and breathe in the life that's being taken by their own. 

Chan shivers.

His body aches with the urge to join the fray, to spread his wings wide and far, to take flight and not look back. He feels powerful up here, but not as much as he would down there, unleashing flames and stomping out swords with his claws. He always felt untouchable when he was anything but human. Humans were too fragile, their skin too easy to cut through, their hearts too small to last. He preferred being anything but. 

"You're not scared?" Felix asks him, interrupting his thoughts. 

Chan glances over at him, taking in his state. He knows he's exhausted but he hides it well, his clothes still tattered and dirty from where they had held him. Chan could relieve the very moment over and over again, the anger surging through his veins, the feel of ripping muscle from flesh. They had thought wrong, taking Felix and holding him hostage as if that would really change anything, as if Chan would bow down and let them win. He wasn't one to give in easily, even with one of his own on the line, even when he was able to hear Felix's screams from across the valley - 

"No," he answers steadily. "There will be no one left to oppose us." 

Felix is silent for a long moment, shifting from one foot to the other. There's a tremendous roar as one of their kin unleashes scorching fire, hot enough that they can feel it from miles ahead. Lava spilts what remains of the village in two. Bodies turn to ash. "I'm scared," Felix admits, braver than most. "I'm scared that we'll be seen as a threat. As something to get rid of." 

"We've always been seen as a threat," Chan says, turning to face him. "They took you because they wanted to see if I would take the bait." His keeps his words careful, not wanting to pass the line that's been drawn in the sand between them since. "If it was anyone else, I would've let them die. For our kingdom." A pause that seems to stretch centuries. "But it was you." 

"It was me," Felix repeats quietly. "But I wasn't worth the risks." 

It takes Chan aback, how easily he says it. He says it like his life isn't worth the sacrifice, as if he isn't the second in line to a kingdom that has always thrived on their leadership. He says it like it's not Chan standing in front of him, like there are still chains wrapped around his wrists and whips tearing at his back. 

Chan doesn't like to think about how he almost lost him. 

He doesn't like to think about how close their kingdom actually was to falling and not recovering. 

"You're worth everything to me," he says, betraying everything he shouldn't say. "If you aren't by my side, none of this is worth it." Felix's eyes widen, as if he hasn't already known, as if all these years together haven't told him a single thing. Chan nearly smiles. Nearly laughs before remembering that neither would really be becoming of a king. "It's you or nothing."

There's more screams. More fire. More death. 

Felix looks at him like he never wants to look away. 

"You're stubborn," he says, like that'll change Chan's mind. But he moves closer and turns back to what awaits them, a kingdom destroyed, a kingdom made, and leans against Chan's shoulder. "Selfish." 

"Only when it comes to you." 

Felix stands at his side. He doesn't leave. He never leaves.

--

permanent taglist

@amyyscorner @kokinu09 @rainfallingfromthesky @keepswingin @rylea08 @puppysmileseungmin

@thatonedemigodfromseoul @atinyniki