#one of which i've pulled from my website the other i've never shared

[l-e-morgan-author]

If I was to start up a writing newsletter, what features would be interesting? Spitballing at present. They're not mutually exclusive.

drabble

writing update/s

life update/s

excerpt

photo of Ransom

other photo/s

art/s

poem/s

free short story

reading updates

[roosterforme]

Covering the Classics Part 4 | Bob Floyd x OC

Summary: Anna was afraid to face her new friends after the night out at the bar. Admitting she was attracted to Bob was easier to do than explain why she couldn't have him. When she finally sends him some book recommendations, she finds his taste in books familiar in an all too intimate way. 

Warnings: Fluff, angst, adult language, eventually 18+

Length: 4700 words

Pairing: Robert "Bob" Floyd x Female OC (this story is part of the Beer Boy/Sugar and Jake/Jessica universe)

Covering the Classics masterlist. Check my masterlist for more! Thank you to @mak-32 for the beautiful banner!

Anna spent the rest of her weekend working on lesson plans and looking at Bob's number saved in her phone. She had compiled a mental list of titles she thought he would like, and she'd even pulled a few dog-eared books from her own collection and stacked them up on her narrow counter. She would absolutely love to have Bob borrow them from her, but she'd completely messed everything up.

Why, when confronted with a decent man, did she shut everything down and destroy all hope? Because of Kevin. That's why. She knew this crush on Bob was a bad idea. Nothing good could come of it, but she still caught herself looking at his contact information on Sunday evening with longing in her heart.

She made herself a sad sandwich for dinner and packed herself a second sad sandwich for lunch the next day and then she settled in with her computer. The idea of taking her sad sandwich to the quad and eating with her friends was making her anxious. What if they didn't even want her around now that she'd made a complete fool of herself in front of their friend? What if they looked up at her as she approached them sitting on the bench with their perfect, beautiful lunches and scowled with their perfect, beautiful faces? 

"Oh no," she groaned, covering her eyes with her hand. She really liked them, but they probably hated her now. And she really liked Bob, but he probably went home with that better looking woman who was at the Navy bar and hadn't thought about Anna one time since. 

She forced her attention to her computer screen which was prompting her for a password. She entered Kev1n1s@t00L and watched as the website she'd had open on her browser came to life. She sighed as she scrolled through her saved favorites on PoetsAmongUs. It was kind of pitiful that she knew what she was going to end up reading before she could actually admit it to herself. 

Your whispers call out in the darkest shadows, My heart answers like a flame, Igniting this shared space with every breath I take, Giving you a love that will never find the end. It binds me to you, pulsing through my veins, Emotions like I've never known before. I've doubted that I could reach this place, But I feel endlessly sure here now.

Anna whined from her bed in her sad little apartment as she looked at the pen name of her favorite poet before clicking on it. He either never finished filling out his profile or he was being purposely vague. Male, 30s, United States. 

"Sky Writing. The only man I would trust with my heart ever again." She read the poem once more. That was her favorite passage, but she knew everything he posted by heart and got excited every time something new from him popped up every few months. 

It was late enough that she could probably just go to sleep without acknowledging that she hadn't texted Bob and probably never would. She couldn't set foot back in that bar ever again. Maybe that other place that Jessica loved so much would be somewhere she could check out next time she had nothing better to do. Chippy's or something? She started to doze off.

When her alarm started blaring, it was almost like she had slept too well. She'd dreamed about a faceless man with beautiful hands reading poetry to her while he ran his fingers slowly up and down her bare thigh. She couldn't shake the delicious feeling even as her alarm got louder. When she managed to turn it off, she lay there wishing she had time to go on the poetry website and masturbate before work. 

"Stop it," she whispered as she got up and started getting herself ready for the day. 

At least she got to teach English 522 this afternoon. Feminist Literature was becoming one of her favorite classes, as evidenced by her well worn copy of Carmilla by Sheridan Le Fanu which was in her bag. When she stood in her kitchen and ate a peanut butter granola bar and drank some coffee, she looked at the books she had pulled out as options for Bob, but she shook her head and left for the day without dwelling on how disappointing her life truly was.

Relying solely on public transportation meant leaving a lot earlier than you wanted to, but Anna still barely made it to her office in time to grab her notebook and teach her first lecture of the week. Half of the students still looked like they were asleep while the other half were looking at her like she was a literary messiah. It was almost comical, and when lunchtime rolled around, she was in a pretty great mood. Until she realized she was still on the fence about going to the quad. 

"Just do a vibe check," she muttered as she grabbed her lunch from her office. "If they look pissed off, you can come right back here and never talk to anyone else again for the rest of your life." She could subside on sandwiches and online poetry and only speak when she was giving lectures. That sounded simultaneously amazing and also terrifying.

The college campus was bustling today. There were some guys skateboarding through the quad, and she recognized a few other faculty members from the English department who waved to her. But that didn't stop her palms from sweating and her heart from thudding in a sickening rhythm that Edgar Alan Poe would think was beautiful. When she spotted the two women on the bench in front of the weird tree, Anna was shocked to see them waving to her with smiles on their faces. 

"Anna!" called Jessica. "You'll never believe it! The vending machine just gave me my bottle of Pepsi and a bonus bottle of ginger ale! Like it knew I was about to see you!"

"Chaos Theory at its finest," said the other woman before she bit into her carrot stick and hummus. 

"It's really more of the Butterfly Effect," Jessica replied. Anna had no idea what they were talking about, but they scooted away from each other on the bench to make room, so she decided to stay.

Anna swallowed hard as she sat and opened her pack of peanuts. "How was the rest of your weekend?" she asked the two of them, and soon her nerves calmed down. 

"Excellent. Bradley and I took a tour of the library yesterday."

"Pretty good. I helped Jake make waffles for breakfast. Lots and lots and lots of waffles. What did you do with the rest of your weekend? After the Hard Deck?"

Anna accepted the bottle of ginger ale that Jessica handed to her as she said, "Um, well I did my lesson plans for the next few weeks. And I started writing my midterm exams. Nothing exciting."

She was met with a bit of awkward silence, and she could feel the two women sharing a look behind her head. "Did you happen to text Bob?" Advanced Calculus asked cautiously, and Anna knew this was the part where it was all over. The dramatic climax, except she was actually the villain in this story.

"No, actually. I think that ship has sailed," she replied softly. 

"Why?" Jessica asked, not unkindly. "When we figured out that you and he already met at the bookstore in North Park, we were ecstatic. He's the mystery guy you were losing your mind over, Anna! The handsome one with glasses who smells so good!"

"He really does smell good," Advanced Calculus muttered as she dipped another carrot into the hummus which was probably unfairly homemade. "Are you no longer attracted to him? Was it his nerdy tee shirt? Or were all the guys so obnoxious you couldn't wait to leave?"

Anna held onto the cold bottle of ginger ale a little tighter as she said, "It's not that at all. I mean, who in their right mind wouldn't be attracted to Bob? And I thought his shirt was kind of charming. And the rest of the guys were welcoming in a slightly intense way."

Now Jessica was turned to face her, eyes wide behind her glasses. "Bob thinks you ran away from him twice now because he's unappealing and boring."

Anna jolted and the pack of peanuts went flying to the ground, nuts rolling in every direction. "He does?" she asked, palms beginning to sweat again.

"Yeah. Big time. But he's quite attracted to you. Apparently the red hair is a thing."

"Oh my god," Anna moaned in embarrassment. Bob liked her red hair? "Oh no. No. No. He's just.... he's so.... and he's also.... I can't even." She took a deep breath as she kicked at the lost peanuts. "Bob is so handsome. It's hard to look into his eyes for too long, because you start to feel like you're going to break out into song. And I don't think I've ever been around a man who smells quite that nice. And he's funny and just a touch nerdy, but that's a good thing." 

There was another beat of silence before Advanced Calculus said, "I'm not really understanding what the problem is."

Anna shook her head and unwrapped her sandwich to keep her hands busy. "Listen, none of my weirdness is because of him. It's all because of me. I can't have a crush on him. I can't be interested in him. I can't be interested in any men whatsoever."

Jessica nudged her shoulder and said, "Maybe you could just text him? Maybe making another new friend wouldn't be so bad?"

--------------------------

"Well if you can't find a girlfriend, I hope you're at least getting your rocks off with an attractive lady."

Bob was cradling his forehead in his hand and trying to escape from Suzanne's house without having this conversation. Whenever he stopped to pick up dinner instead of cooking something at home, he always brought something for her, too. It was the neighborly thing to do, especially when your neighbor was decades older than you, but right now he just wanted to vanish. 

"I wouldn't tell you even if I was," he replied, earning a laugh as she opened up the container of soup at her kitchen table. 

"Sit down and stay for a while," she told him, pointing to the empty chair. "I'll pay you back for dinner with my charm and witticism since you won't accept any money."

His phone started to vibrate in his uniform pocket, and he dug it out thinking it was probably Jessica having finished mocking up her barbarian character for their campaign, but it was a text from an unknown number. He was about to pocket his phone again, but then he saw the words book recommendations and paused. He quickly unlocked the phone and started reading the texts that were coming through.

I have some book recommendations for you if you still want them. I'm sorry I didn't send them over the weekend.

This is Anna, by the way.

I should have started with that information.

Wow. This is already embarrassing.

Bob laughed and started to type back immediately, and then Suzanne's voice cut across his thoughts. "Are you sure you don't have a special lady? You're smiling an awful lot at your phone."

He looked at her and shook his head. "I'm sure. I like this girl, but she doesn't return my feelings that way. She's just sending me some recommendations." He started to back away as he added, "Enjoy your soup. I'll see you later, Suzanne."

"Good night, Robert."

Bob ended up standing just inside his front door as he saved Anna's number and typed back a message to her. He thought keeping it simple would be his best move. Anything more than that and he'd embarrass himself once again by getting ahead of himself with his feelings. 

I would love some more recommendations from you. You're the expert.

He only had to wait about a minute for her response, which was just a list of book after book after book that he'd never even heard of. The first were the ones she'd given to him verbally on Friday night, but the rest were just as foreign to him.

Anna Webber: Persuasion by Austen. Northanger Abbey by Austen, Lady Chatterley's Lover by D. H. Lawrence, The Age of Innocence by Edith Wharton, Far From the Madding Crowd by Thomas Hardy, Mrs Dalloway by Virginia Woolf, Cranford by Elizabeth Gaskell, and The Black Tulip by Alexandre Dumas (because you like poetry so much)

Bob quickly ate his own container of soup while he read the list over and over again. Then without changing out of his uniform, he grabbed the keys to his beat up truck and headed to the bookstore in North Park to see if he could find any of these titles before they closed.

The store was virtually empty, and when he climbed the stairs up to the slightly dusty loft he could practically picture Anna's pretty hands and painted nails gliding along all of the spines. He could imagine her pretty, wide eyes looking up at him before she figured out he was boring. He could hear her laugh as he made his way to the spot where they had been standing together.

That horrible Vonnegut book was still there which made him chuckle. "Figures nobody else would want to read it," he muttered as he reached for it. Then he backtracked a little bit to start collecting everything from Anna's list. He referenced his text messages several times, hunting all over the Classics section until he had almost everything in order. Then he spread them out along the shelf and took a photo. He texted it to her before he could second guess himself after he added a short caption. 

Did I miss anything?

He was walking back down to the poetry section when his phone vibrated.

Anna Webber: You're at the bookstore right now? The one in North Park?

Bob froze in the middle of the stairs. He embarrassed himself without even knowing it. He must seem desperate right now. Running out to the store as soon as she sent him the list. "Shit," he groaned softly. When he got another message, he was almost afraid to look at it.

Anna Webber: I LOVE that store. I wish I were there right now, too.

Bob thought that sounded perfect, actually. Maybe if she were here now, she wouldn't run away this time. He'd been playing those kinds of scenarios over and over in his head, ones where she liked him back the way he liked her. Ones where they left the bookstore holding hands.

He continued downstairs to look for the book of poems she suggested for him, which he found quickly, along with Votive by Keiran Goddard. Would Anna like a copy of his favorite book of poetry? Did he even want to ask her? At this point, he had nothing to lose. She wasn't going to suddenly want him, but that shouldn't stop him from sharing a recommendation of his own. Especially when she might really enjoy something he found so spectacular. 

Bob held the book up and snapped a quick selfie, sending it away into the universe before dwelling on it too much.

--------------------

Anna was preparing a piece of toast with jelly for herself or dinner, desperately wishing she were back at the bookstore. Bob was there, probably smelling so nice and luring everyone else who was shopping closer to him. Perhaps he was wearing another Dungeons & Dragons shirt like he'd worn to the Navy bar. Perhaps his biceps were straining against it.

She didn't have to use her vivid imagination for very long, because suddenly Bob was staring at her through her phone screen with his crooked little smile and his beautiful eyes. And his uniform. 

"Oh my god." The toast slipped from her fingers and landed jelly side down on her plate as she took in every single detail. Navy uniforms were khaki? Why had she assumed they were all navy blue? Why didn't she know more about the Navy? She was going to take the time to learn everything she could about the United States Navy. 

When she realized her mouth was dry, she reached for her glass of water and downed it. She was in a daze. A Bob Floyd induced daze. Even all the little pins on his shirt were distracting. She wanted to count all of them. She wanted to touch them. She wondered what they would feel like if she pressed her lips to them. 

"Stop," she gasped. But she couldn't. Now her eyes drifted up to his face again, and she thought she'd only really ever seen the exact color of his eyes in a Kandinsky painting at the Guggenheim. She couldn't look away. "No. No. No!" she moaned. And then she finally read the actual message he'd typed out after gawking at his photo for five whole minutes. 

Bob Floyd: Have you ever read Votive by Keiran Goddard? It's my favorite collection of poetry. 

Anna laughed a little hysterically. She hadn't even noticed he was holding up a book at all. His graceful fingers were wrapped around the damn thing, but she'd been too distracted by him to actually look at the book. But now the fact that she'd never read Goddard before had her flushed and flustered, because Bob had sent a book recommendation to her. Nobody ever did that, and all she could think about was how she absolutely needed to get her hands on a copy and devour the whole entire thing if it was something he liked. 

Very calmly and rationally, she typed back to him.

I have not read it yet, but I'll add it to my list of things to check out of the library. 

When she set her phone down and realized her toast had become a casualty to this text conversation, she moaned and flipped it back over. Her heart was still beating a little erratically from looking at Bob's photo for too long, and she didn't think she could even eat. There was no way she could waste any food in her current financial state though, so she took a bite anyway as he texted her back.

Bob Floyd: I'll just pick it up for you while I'm here. I hope you'll like it, but if you hate it, that's okay too. It's a bit of an acquired taste.

Oh no. She couldn't let him buy it, because she didn't have any extra spending money at the moment to be able to pay him back. But admitting that to him would be excruciatingly embarrassing, and she didn't even think she could do it. Perhaps she could scrape together twenty dollars if she skipped a few meals, but then she wouldn't be able to join the girls in the quad at lunchtime. They'd notice her lack of food right away. 

"Why are you such a disaster?" she asked herself as she scarfed down the rest of her toast and typed back to him.

Thank you. I can pay you back for it later.

She would figure it out. She always did. Even when she didn't want to, she managed to find a way to solve her problems. Even when it hurt.

Bob Floyd: It's my treat. I can give it to Bradley or Jake at work tomorrow. I'm sure either of the ladies wouldn't mind getting it to you when they see you. Or if you feel like it, we could meet for coffee one day and I could give it to you in person. Just let me know.

"Oh, Anna," she whispered, already typing out a response before she could think better of it.

--------------------------

Bob was surprised Anna took him up on his offer to meet for coffee, but he found himself looking forward to it in spite of the fact that he was still pining a bit. He'd get over it in time. He'd find someone new to crush on, or maybe he'd meet another girl that he was interested in, and maybe she would be interested back. But none of that stopped him from being excited at the prospect of being around her again. And none of that prepared him for the way he felt when Anna pushed through the door of the coffee shop on Wednesday evening and looked around tentatively. Her red hair was in another loose braid, and her freckles were so endearing.

As soon as her eyes landed on him, she looked less apprehensive but also more resigned. When she approached the table where he was sitting with three books, he stood. "Hey. Anna. How are you?"

"Hi, Bob." Even her voice was soft and sweet as her eyes swept along his face and body. She blushed a pretty shade of pink as she said, "Thanks for the book. Will you let me buy you something to drink?"

He didn't respond beyond nodding and leading the way toward the counter. He listened to her order a small coffee before he ordered a large hot tea, and when she reached for her wallet, he was already handing over a twenty. When she looked up at him with wide, brown eyes, he just smiled. "You don't have to buy me a drink."

She watched the money leave his hand as she said, "Well, you don't have to buy me one either."

"Too late."

She was quiet as they returned to the small table with their hot beverages, but as soon as she sat, she said, "You'll have to let me pay next time."

Bob slid two of the books across the table as he asked, "Next time?" But she didn't respond as she let her fingers brush along Votive before she picked it up to reveal the one underneath it.

Anna's laughter filled the small space as her eyes darted back up to meet his. "You bought Cat's Cradle? I didn't think that was the kind of thing you were looking for?"

He glanced down into his tea. "Uh, it's not. I got it for you."

"Bob," she said quietly, her fingers tracing the spine now. He liked her nail polish and wanted to touch her hands. "You did not have to get me two books."

"Yes I did," he said with a smile. "Vonnegut sounds horrible. I felt bad for it because nobody else was ever going to buy it. I couldn't just leave it to rot on the shelf when I know the only person who would be willing to give it a nice home."

When she laughed again, she seemed resigned to the fact that the books were both hers. "Thanks. Money is a little tight for me right now. You know how it is when you first move," she told him while she fidgeted a bit. "But next time, I'll buy your drink. Or your book. Or something."

"You keep saying 'next time'."

Anna poked at her coffee cup and said, "I thought maybe.... we could be friends."

"Friends." His voice felt and sounded stale. The word made him feel sadder than it should have. "Of course."

She looked even more relieved now as she took a sip of her coffee, but Bob was busy trying not to memorize the pretty pattern of her freckles across her nose and the way her lips were pursed. He wouldn't look at a friend that way. 

"Which book is that?" she asked, nodding toward the last one in front of him. 

He flipped it over so she could see the cover, and he said, "Oh, it's The Age of Innocence. I'm almost done reading it, and I was just hoping to get your opinions on a few things."

Anna's eyes went wider. "You're almost done reading it? Already?"

"Yeah." His voice sounded like a groan, and he knew he should be embarrassed since she recommended it two days ago, but he said, "Once I start a new book, I can't put it down if it's good."

"So you like it?" she asked, leaning a little closer to him as a smile played along her lips. 

"It's fantastic," he replied, and her foot brushed his softly beneath the table.

Anna licked her lips and shifted in her seat as she made a soft sound that just made Bob want to get closer to her. She clasped her hands on the table in front of her and cleared her throat before she blurted out. "You're really handsome." His lips parted wordlessly, unsure how to respond, but he didn't have to as she immediately said, "And you're not boring. Not at all. I could have stayed in that dusty bookstore all afternoon, tucked away in the loft, talking to you about book after book."

"Oh," he replied, his brow furrowed in confusion. "Really?"

"Yes. Really," she said, and it sounded like she meant it. "I didn't disappear because of you. I disappeared because of me. And I'm really sorry about that."

Then he realized what was going on. His friends got to her already. He'd told Jessica on Saturday night that he was sure Anna ditched him because he's probably not as handsome or interesting as she's used to. And now he was going to have to text her and tell her to lay off. This whole thing was embarrassing enough without having to hear Anna pity him like this.

"Don't worry about it," he told her softly with his best attempt at a smile. "We can be friends."

When he got home, she texted him to thank him again for the books and the coffee. But he was still thinking about her freckles and how far down her neck they might go. Maybe they made a pretty pattern across her shoulders, too. Maybe they would disappear into her bra, a perfect treasure for another man to find. But not Bob. Bob and Anna were just friends.

------------------------

When Anna finally got home after taking two buses, it was so late, she knew she should go right to bed. But she was wishing for another cheap bottle of wine to try to take her mind off of Bob. He was perfect, and she couldn't let herself have him. They could be friends, but nothing more. She could send him texts, but they couldn't flirt. 

She already missed his soft voice and the way he gave her his entire focus when they were together. He bought her two books! Nobody else ever bought her books! And he read the ones she recommended to him! Maybe Kevin was to blame for most things that had gone wrong in her life, but literally no man she'd ever known was as kind and thoughtful as Bob.

She collapsed back onto her bed in her sad apartment were she could look at her kitchen and her bathroom at the same time, and she opened the book of poetry. Bob's favorite poetry. Within minutes of reading the first few pages, she felt warmer and maybe a little flustered. The passages were romantic and insightful in such a familiar way. Something was tickling at her brain, trying to trigger a memory. She kept reading, making it fifteen pages in before she gasped and realized what it was. 

"Sky Writing," she murmured, reaching for her computer in favor of the book. She was reminded of her favorite novice poet from her favorite website. The poetry in the book sounded a bit like the poems written by Sky Writing, and now Anna was even more of a mess knowing that this was the kind of intimate literature Bob preferred to read. 

She wanted him. She wanted to know what his big, sturdy hands would feel like on her body. What his lips tasted like. She wanted to erase that pinch of doubt she saw on his face when she tried to reassure him that even though they were going to be just friends, she definitely found him attractive. 

The next time she went shopping, she was going to need to stock up on some more bottles of cheap wine.

-------------------------

Just friends. Okay, Anna. Sure, babe. Let's see how long that lasts. Bob's wingwomen are powerful. Thank you @lauratang for the book/reading list! And thanks to @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls

PART 5

@thedroneranger

@theamuz

@cherrycola27

@katiedid-3

@yuckosworld

@je-suis-prest-rachel

@callsign-magnolia

@t-nd-rfoot

@wkndwlff

@eddiemunsonreader

@wintercap89

@the-fever-of-mankind

@sio-ina-bottle

@lovingperfectionsblog

@daisydont-lie

@sappy-seresin

@birdy-bat-writes

@cutelittlefakejourneys

@cottagecori

@fandom-princess-forevermore

@sotalife

@novastories

@xoxabs88xox

@rileyanntoinette

@mannsachds

@midnightmagpiemama

@greatszu

@zetasaturno99

@lovingrobertfloyd

@taytaylala12

@captain-fandomwriter58

@grxcisxhy-wp

@hobireasns

@wolfquake23

@smileybouquet

@paintlavillered

@seitmai

@noonenuts

@amiets2

@sylviebell

@imnotcreativeenoughforthisblog

@lonelysoul50

@sweetwhispersofchaos

[sebastianstanisahotmf]

Never alone

Bucky Barnes x Reader

A/N This is a part of my 100 followers celebration. I'm sorry I'm posting these so late at night but it's the only time I've got to post them. I wrote this on my phone so there might be more mistakes. Also, likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated.

THIS IS NOT AN 18+ FIC BUT I STILL FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE WITH MINORS READING MY FICS SO PLEASE DNI IF YOU ARE A MINOR

Summary You get back from a mission and Bucky isn't in a good state.

DO NOT REPOST ON ANY OTHER APPS/WEBSITES. THE ONLY PLACE THIS FIC IS ON IS TUMBLR.

Warnings Fluff, angst, crying, mentions of depression/ptsd

It was inevitable that Bucky was going to have good and bad days but today was worse than bad. He had never felt so alone.

You had been on a mission for 1 month now and Bucky was missing you a lot. You had called him the night before to tell him that you were only gonna be 2 more days but that didn't help. The constant nightmares made him feel so tired and depressed.

Bucky was halfway through making himself a cup of coffee when he heard the door open to your shared apartment. Before he could turn around, you were wrapping your arms around his waist and pressing kisses to his back.

"I missed you so much babe," you told him.

Bucky turned to face you, "I missed you too doll."

Bucky opened his arms and you hugged him. He buried his nose in your hair. You stood like that for a couple of minutes before you felt something wet on your hair and Bucky’s body tremble. You pulled back to see him crying.

"what's wrong babe?" you asked, cradling his face between your hands.

"I-I felt so alone while you were gone doll. I feel so stupid but the nightmares came back," Bucky sobbed.

You jumped up onto the nearest counter and opened your arms. Bucky walked over to you and rested his forehead under your chin while you rubbed his back.

The counter helped you be higher than Bucky so you could properly comfort him.

"shhh, you're not alone anymore and you're definitely not stupid. Your feelings are valid and you are allowed to cry babe," you whispered into his ear.

Bucky continued to sob into your chest for some time before the sobs turned into small sniffles and hiccups.

"I'm sorry doll for doing this to you. You're probably tired and me crying is the last thing you need right now," Bucky said looking down.

You put your hand under his chin to get him to look at you.

"I told you it's ok. The last thing you need to do is worry about me."

Bucky lifted you up and walked intp your shared bedroom. He placed you gently onto the bed and went into the closet to get a pair of boxers and a worn t-shirt . He knew how much you love wearing his clothes to bed.

You got changed and joined Bucky under the covers of your bed. You laid down with your arm out so Bucky could lay with his head on your breast.

"I thought you were gonna be a couple more days."

"Me to, but we got things done quickly. I'm sorry for not telling you, I just wanted it to be a surprise."

"it's thd best surprise I could ask for doll," Bucky looked up at you "when did you shower because you don't look like you've just come off a mission."

"I used one of the showers in the compound so I would be ready to go to bed as soon as I got here," you explained.

"I love you doll, so much, more than I could ever tell or show you," Bucky said, looking at you.

He leaned up to press a chased kiss to your lips.

"The same goes for you baby, I love you so much and I want you to know that you're never alone. I'm always a phone call away and if not I can promise you that I'll call you back as soon as I can."

"You're my world doll," Bucky mumbled with a smile in his face.

His eyes were getting heavy and he was welcoming the sleep which was something he hadn't done in a month. He knew that whenever you were there he was never alone and safe from the nightmares.

With that, he fell asleep, forgetting the coffee he was making himself in a pointless attempt to keep him from sleeping. Only thinking about how happy he was to have you home.

If you want to be tagged whenever I post a fic click on the link

If you want to see the things that I repost then you can follow my other account @sebastianstanisahotmf-reblogs

Taglist: @nicoline1998enilocin, @buckys-wintersoldier

[mousedetective]

Help A Mostly Queer Disabled Family Get Out of Homelessness?

PAYPAL | AMAZON WISHLIST | KOFI | GOFUNDME

VENMO: @penaltywaltz | CASHAPP: $afteriwake23 | ZELLE: DM me for email address

02/18/24 - New Post

So we were recently blessed with $2,000 to pay bills, get hotel stays covered for the rest of this month/part of March and get food while I wait until the local county office opens to find out why I never got my food stamps. I almost started crying, for real.

I paid off the money my mother owed to PayPal so we can send each other money again (it will take two to three business days for the payment to process, then another day or two for her to regain access to her PayPal account), I paid off/paid down some of the PayPal 4 In 4 payments I needed to make (I've been ignoring them in favor of paying off other things), I got us a room every day from February 28th to March 13th except the 2nd, when we have to go to another hotel (we do that one via the hotel website, and I make sure we pay that one on-site because they charge a $50 fee for anything that might happen to the room that gets refunded after we leave) and I paid off one of my mom's loans down to $21

If we get really lucky, I can take the loan payments we have coming out on the 1st and 3rd and get them paid and not take out any more loans except for my and my mom's MoneyLion ones (I can take those out in increments as needed) and we can get closer to saving up for a down payment on an apartment. But I still have bills to pay. I owe about $500 to PayPal for the 4 in 4 plans still, my mother needs to pay $610 for a credit card bill we thought was under her debt consolidation payment (I'm going to try and add it later, and if they'll take it, then we only need $200 to get it up to date) and we still need to get Lena her glasses (around $150 there, since I pulled out the money for her exam in cash). Plus I will need to get us accommodations on the 13th for the rest of our 28-day stay.

I'm tentatively setting the goal at $2000, which should cover paying off all the bills we need to pay, the glasses, and the later hotel stay. Any help sharing or donating is much appreciated. If we don't have to take out the loans to cover stuff in March we can get the money together in April for a deposit. We're almost there! Thank you!

$135/$2000

[suzy-queued]

DVD Commentary: These Foolish Games

@stocious asked if I could share behind-the-scenes commentary from These Foolish Games. @shamelessdvdcommentary

Give us some stats - (when you wrote it, word count, how long it took to finish, is it a one-shot/multi-chapter, etc) I wrote it from March through November of 2022. It's a 15-chapter fic, 96,884 words.

What was the initial inspiration for your story? I love the "Shop around the Corner" scenario where people fall in love via text but hate each other in person. I've only seen versions of that trope where the love portion happens via letters but they remain enemies in real life. I wanted to see what would happen if they were chasing each other in a huge love square. Picture me giggling and saying, "All we want out of Gallavich stories is to see them fall in love over and over again. What if every major character in this story is either Ian or Mickey in alternate forms?!"

What was your favorite scene to write? Hands down, it was chapter 4, when they watched the training video. This Mickey is based on a friend I had in high school named Jason. He and I had health class together, and we'd chat and joke around during class. But two strange things happened: (1) when we were OUT of class, he wouldn't even make eye contact with me. It was like I didn't exist. (2) when we watched videos IN class and the lights would go down, it was like we were dating. He'd hold my hand and lock our feet together and trace shapes on each other's arms. I never knew anyone who could Jekyll and Hyde so quickly between three different dynamics. Were we friends, strangers, or crushes? That history with him churns in my brain, and I wanted to capture how that felt in this story.

How did you come up with the title? I took the title from Jewel's song.

Other working titles included: This Bitter Chase Addicted to that Rush Shock + Awe Rules of Engagement Cock it and Pull it Locked and Loaded Brace for Impact A Shot in the Dark Caught in the Crossfire Come Out and Play Mark and Misfire

Are there any little moments or references you hope readers will notice? That every chapter (except one) had a two-word title. I like coming up with chapter titles, and I thought that was fun.

Was there anything you struggled to write? If so, how did you overcome this? I painted myself into a corner with the criminal aspect. My notes said something like, "Hector is doing something related to theft in the facility. This theft leads to unsafe circumstances. These unsafe circumstances are serious enough for his franchise to be threatened." I know nothing about trampoline engineering. I know very little about underground markets and precious metals. You don't hear a lot of media coverage of trampoline parks as mob fronts. I visited soooo many sketchy websites and researched what could possibly net Hector a decent enough chunk of change. I read documents about safety liability and franchise law. The takeaway is, anything can be solved with the right amount of research.

You know what was really fun to research? Videos of people doing wall runs.

Did the storyline change in any way as you wrote the story? I started with a more dramatic rivalry between the laser tag staff and the bounce center. It was a blood feud, and if you crossed those lines, you'd be dead. It was a life-threatening and tense dynamic, which we as the readers would see as parody but the characters would take 100% seriously. Total noir, Quentin Tarantino vibes. The more I wrote, I couldn't sustain that intensity with a straight face.

Jett was originally "Finn," but I didn't want "NotFinn" to have the same initials as "Noel Fisher." Chara was originally "Samantha."

If you are writing a particular trope or genre, was it your first time writing this? I never put so much texting into a story! Whew! It was cool to figure out how to do AO3 skins for this story. I set it up so that Ian's texts were always orange and Mickey's texts were always blue. That was done with a skin, so I didn't have to code it fresh for every chapter.

What are you most proud about in the story? (plot, characterization, dialogue, twist/cliffhanger, etc) I'm most proud of keeping the identities straight. It was … a lot. With all the Shakespearean name swapping, the reader could still follow who was who (I hope).

Are there any ‘behind the scenes’ info you’d like to share - e.g. what’s going on in a characters head in a certain scene or how you came to write a certain line? I can share a little about the process of keeping a long story straight. I made a dossier of all the characters, locations, and scenes as I was going. That way, I could glance at the notes instead of having to re-read entire chapters to find details.

As with all my stories, I hand-wrote this one. I filled three notebooks.

Are there any ‘easter eggs’ in your story - e.g. references to other stories you’ve written, a trope you often use etc? One trope is that I create art for each chapter. I also like to create logos for each story I make. Here is the full TigerZone logo:

I also create Spotify playlists for all my stories. Here is the one for These Foolish Games.

If you’ve chosen your most popular story, are you surprised by the popularity? This is my most commented-on and kudoed fic, which makes me so happy. I think it's well-deserved.

Were you nervous or excited to post this story? Yes. The nerves never go away, no matter how much you've written.

Anything else you’d like the readers to know about the story? Here are a few images that show the inspiration as well as what was happening in my life as I wrote it.

Our family (pre-covid) enjoyed laser tagging and trampolining.

We had a tornado and major power outage in 2022, which didn't stop me from writing. We took a trip to Chicago, and I was poking my head into every laser tag arena we saw.

That summer, as I was writing, Noel was in Brooklyn filming The Calling. I also went to Brooklyn, a few weeks later.

After the story was complete, my husband gifted me a printed copy. 😭❤️

This is open to all writers! Pick your favorite story you’ve written or your most popular or the one you think deserves some more love! Or ask your followers to suggest their favorite fic of yours!

Thank you for the ask! This is so much fun. I can't believe how many wonderful friends I made from this fic.

[neurasthnia]

so anki is the love of my life, and i'd like to discuss it re language learning.

spaced repetition systems in general

SRSs are helpful tools to prevent memory loss for specific facts. there's some criticism behind the specifics, but it's pretty safe to say that it's good to have a huge flashcard deck with relevant flashcards where you review the new-to-you stuff with relative immediacy and your already-reviewed stuff with relative distance.

flashcard model recommendations

go for a monolingual deck!!! if you absolutely can't, edit the flashcard to monolingual after you're vaguely familiar with the word!!! (i use wordreference - it's good but imperfect)

edited to add - a TL/NL vocab deck can be very efficient if languages are from the same family

i use a picture for the front unless the vocab word is too high concept, and using a picture would just be misleading/ineffectual.

i use soundclips about half the time - i pull clips from wiktionary, forvo, & the collins dictionary.

i use the fill-in-the-blank feature (cloze) pretty heavily with antonyms, and if i'm trying to remember specific usages of common words/phrases

i also use the fill-in-the-blank feature for chunking, altho i use this fairly rarely

i recommend 25 new words daily, or anything that'll set you for your regular pomodoro time for studying vocab (which is 25 mins for me).

i'm not at an advanced level yet for language learning, but this format is recommended for higher levels!

i lowkey recommend including example sentences on the backside, re chunking, but the utility really can depend on the vocab word

limitations

some limitations are a bit obvious - the quality of your study is 100% down to the quality of the flashcard (e.g. accuracy, relevancy, does it need more explanation for you to understand it)

it's also a hell of a time-suck to create these decks. i study 25 new cards a day, which means i have to create about two hundred flashcards every week. i make this quicker by having an ongoing list of words to add to my deck, instead of trying to look up vocab lists or whatever in the moment. i also do the whole week at once because i do get into the rhythm of dictionary-picture-audio searching while watching tv or whatever.

there are some fun add-ons (like for deadlines), and some complicated customization within anki itself. i usually just google if i have a question - a ton of people use anki, so there are tutorials for almost anything you want to do.

fluent forever

if you're unfamiliar, the fluent forever guy wrote a book about language learning which really hinges on a specific model of flashcard. he has tons of tutorial videos on his website, but basically he incorporates the phonetic alphabet, Google Images, and other relevant info for a vocab word (and grammar) in a flash card.

i think his flashcards take an unrealistic/unproductive amount of time, with a bunch of useless filler. however, i do recommend doing a quick read-through of his model and reasoning, as he might speak to something that you're struggling with. (for example, i've never struggled significantly with pronunciation so i think the IPA stuff is 100% useless.)

here's an integration to create the fluent forever flashcards much much faster. i don't use it but i've seen it recommended before.

outside of language learning!

i've used anki to learn for my work certification, for english vocab words from books i'm reading, and for titles of paintings that i want to remember forever. i wouldn't recommend shared decks for language learning, but i emphatically recommend them for other subjects!

[fuedalreesespieces]

ramble-y post incoming:

tldr: is the inukag to izanori pipeline real, and am i falling headfirst into it? yes, yes i am.

[This post does contain spoilers for Kanata Kara and Inuyasha.]

recently (and by that i mean two days ago) i decided i wanted to start a shojo manga that wasn't too long, something I could read in between lectures. i checked some of my saved manga on the website i use, and found one that i had saved purely because i'd been enthralled by the cover art, which looked like this:

(i mean, look at them!!)

...that, and it was 14 volumes, so I thought i could finish it within a week or two, reading a few chapters every day.

i was wrong. i'm on volume ten and it's been a day and a half.

i haven't finished and I'm making this post (partly because i've been rambling about it in ballistic keysmash-consistent twitter posts) to say that Kanata Kara is good. very, very good. damn that one-star review on the site i'm using, because that shit has to be an accidental click. I love the world-building, the diverse cast of characters, and the art is magnificent. I think my favorite thing of all has to be the themes represented so far in the manga, perpetuated by our titular characters noriko and izark. I may make a future post about that when i finish the manga, but there is one thing i noticed while reading that struck me as really interesting: the dynamic between izark and noriko, and the characters themselves, remind me a lot of inuyasha and kagome.

now i'm gonna preface this by saying i'm not trying to say that these are the same dynamics or something, because they aren't - I just want to point out parallels i thought were really interesting, as someone who loves both relationships in their respective mangas. i also want to establish that Kanata Kara predates Inuyasha by three to five years*- so what I really should be saying is that inuyasha and kagome remind me of izark and noriko, but you get the picture. you could argue a number of things with this in mind, but i'm not here to discuss any of that. this isn't meant to be some sort of dumb gotcha; both series are good in their own ways, and some of the similarities i'm highlighting can be attributed to similar tropes being at play!

*(sources vary, some say 1993, others say 1995)

izark/inuyasha

demons - inuyasha is half inu-youkai, whereas izark is the sky demon from a prophecy that makes up much of the manga's internal and external conflict for him. an interesting contrast i found was that while inuyasha's half-demon features are present for the majority of the manga and his human side shows up only a handful of times, it's the exact opposite for izark, whose "human" appearance reigns for the majority of the manga.

both characters were shunned by their respective communities (and humanity at large, though inuyasha had his mother for some time, and izark's mother tried to kill him). when both parents died, they began living on the fringes of society, never interacting with anyone and, according to them, "preferring to be alone."

both share moments where their demon sides take over and they are unable to control themselves - unless, of course, their loved one is present to help them. otherwise, both are trapped in a violent, bloodthirsty state of mind that makes them lose parts of their identity each time transformation is undergone. both try to avoid this part of them out of fear of losing themselves, but when occasions rise where they are in those forms, their respective loved ones pull them out of it/help them ground themselves.

powerful fighters willing to quite literally put everything on the line for their respective loved ones - i'm talking half-dead-dragging their-bodies-across-the floor and thinking "well, at least she's okay."

one interesting difference to me is how izark and inuyasha approach their humanity. izark is constantly shown in his "human" form and is only in his demon form a handful of times, and the exact opposite is true for inuyasha. izark's earlier (brief) plan of doing away with noriko is spurned from his desire to avoid the tragic fate tied with his demonic form, whereas inuyasha's earlier actions are motivated by his desire to become a full demon. izark relates his demon side to inevitability, to the idea that he might just become the monster everyone prophesied him to be; inuyasha (in the beginning) views his humanity with scorn and associates it with weakness. he wants to embrace the possibility of achieving full demon status, and why? is it just because he wants power? in my opinion, no - I think it's a way of finding a place; being free to go where he wants. inuyasha is already powerful in his own right, and even when he's given the opportunity to claim a formidable weapon like his father's sword, he says he has no interest in it (until, of course, kagome mentions he could try to claim it just to spite sesshomaru, and only then is his interest peaked.) inuyasha seeks freedom by assimilating into a full demon identity, izark seeks freedom from that full demon identity, and only then will he feel in control of his life.

kagome/noriko

both from modern era japan and get isekaied into another world - kagome's instance is time-travel, though - noriko is transported to a whole other world with different culture, geography, and language (noriko having to learn the language of the people there and taking part in their customs is one of my favorite things about the manga!!)

the beacon of light in their respective groups/found family, bringing everyone together

key players in a "Prophecy of Doom" - kagome's "destiny" is to continue the cycle of the shikon jewel; noriko's "destiny" is to awaken the Sky Demon (izark). both girls, and their loved ones, change their futures.

damsels? maybe, but never in distress:

and, of course, the most prominent parallel for me: their acceptance of their lovers and the ripple effect that love has on their lovers' relationships and life:

"i'm not leaving you no matter what happens, no matter who you are - I will stay by your side":

"you changed my life for the better":

"i've opened up and become more vulnerable":

there are a ton of other examples i could use for this bullet, since it has a pretty broad spectrum of events that could fall under it, but these are my favorites.

i also want to draw attention to the way noriko deals with feeling powerless - both she and kagome are surrounded by powerful, experienced individuals, but unlike noriko, kagome has a reign on her archery and spiritual skills pretty early on in the manga, so she contributes in battles one way or another. one of noriko's longest internal conflicts is that she feels guilty that she can't do anything to help and that people are getting hurt on her behalf:

i absolutely love the advice given to her, and how it ties into the themes of the manga. noriko feels like she isn't helping, but even a simple thank you helps - even if it's just thanking one person for a single deed, everyone is intricately tied, and that goodwill spreads. it grows. it becomes a part of everyone. you don't have to be a fighter to spread good.

conclusion: the parallels are neat and READ KANATA KARA!

[luthwhore]

oh dang you were a Jehovah Witness? that must have been tough growing up

it was... something for sure. my grandmother raised me and she converted when i was about eight or nine, as did most of her sisters and my great grandmother. i was very invested in it as a kid, mostly because i was the sort of kid who REALLY wanted to impress adults and JW meetings are very participation-based.

my grandmother was very restrictive growing up, both in terms of who i was allowed to hang out with and the media i was allowed to engage with, so i wasn't allow to read harry potter or watch buffy the vampire slayer, for example, bc jehovah's witnesses are very big on not engaging with anything "satanic" or "demonic" which... includes basically anything with magic, or anything that could be a "stumbling block to your faith." (that was a phrase i heard a LOT growing up.)

i also wasn't allowed to hang out with non-jehovah's witnesses outside of school, but because my grandfathr wasn't a jehovah's witness, none of the other witness kids were allowed to come over to my house, so i didn't really have a lot of close friends until i was in my teens.

somewhere around 8th grade i started to question, for... a lot of reasons, but i was sort of back and forth between pulling away and sticking with it for a few years until i was about 15-16. jehovah's witnesses are VERY big on 1) not dating anyone outside who doesn't share the same faith as you, 2) not dating until you're ready for marriage, and 3) not even being alone with a member of the opposite sex that you're nor married to. and i wanted to date a boy from my high school and i wanted to play dungeons and dragons and i slowly just stopped going to the JW meetings, despite my grandmother clearly being unhappy with it.

the elders at my grandmother's congregation had also taken me aside and lectured me about how i shouldn't be dating which. at the time was very heavy and made me feel awful and did not make me want to go back.

my grandmother eventually gave me an ultimatum that i had to either go back to the meetings with her or formally disassociate myself, which is A Big Deal because if you disassociate yourself, other jehovah's witnessess are supposed to shun you (including your family members). i guess she thought that i would fall in line if she did this, but i ended up disassociating myself instead.

you'd think that would be the reason my grandmother and i have little to no contact now, but she was willing to break the rules for a while in the hopes that i would repent and return to the fold. the thing that actually made her go no contact with me was me coming out as gay.

i actually know for a fact that another family member of mine hasn't come out yet almost exclusively bc they know that it will destroy their relationship with her. and it sucks bc i'm 100% sure if it wasn't for the shitty cult she's fully bought into, i don't think she would actually care that much.

anyway if you ever want to know more about jehovah's witnesses, the website jwfacts.org is super informative and breaks down everything from doctrine to history to organizational scandals. knowing better on youtube also has one of the most well-researched and accurate videos about JWs i've ever seen from someone who was never part of the religion and i would HIGHLY recommend it if you want a good overview of the history and beliefs.

[bleue-flora]

https://www.tumblr.com/bleue-flora/754276889628213248/before-becoming-a-ctommy-apologist-im-one-of-the?source=share

ahh intrestingg I never realized that csap, cdream ect would have felt betrayed by ctubbo but that makes a lot of sense, also explains why they burned down his house. Also I really need to watch those sam lore streams because I've only ever seen brief clips of it, do you know how I can find them?

for ur q, I can definietly understand why people hate ctommy both in lore and out. I started enjoying him around the pogtopia to exile era when I saw how he was trying to help cwilbur snap out of it, and I saw these morals that I hadn't noticed in the character before. And, the part where he and cdream were working together in the battle of the lake and he kept insisting that they were friends for once I just found it interesting that the shift went from him despising dream to being open to being allies and friends which that part kind of made me realize that he is open minded.

Then exile came and dear lord I started hated him again at first like I was completely pissed with what happened to cgeorges house and I blamed ctommy entirely and then I noticed cdreams little :) in the whisper chat provoking him so then I kind of shifted to a grey view then my friend pointed out that ctommy tried to stop the fire. During exile itself, I started projecting a lot since abandonment issues is something I got and I did some projection because I cope in a similar way to how he did like using humor as a coping mechanism like also that stream when cwilbur and cquackity were arguing the whole time at las nevadas and ctommy was just acting naive and childlike making dumb jokes to cope with trauma and how cwilbur and cquackity yelling was distressing him. Idk it just hit close to him for me. I think the personality being so inconsistent is also relatable like sometimes very open minded (that one butterfly quote I forgot), sometimes destructive craving war, sometimes craving peace, hyper empathetic, cares about people that hurt him like cwilbur who he wanted revived at one point even though cwilbur manipulated and hurt him. Also, The prison arc like ctommy visiting cdream and rather than showing his fear, he instead just makes stupid jokes and tries to annoy cdream as much as possible. the dick clock joke like. Ik it was cc mucking around but I saw some deep traumatic response there about how ctommy was being annoying to make sure cdream couldn't pull an exile again if that makes sense like if you annoy someone trying to manipulate you then what are they gonna do, it kind of reminds me of spongebob with the strangler. to put it more into perspective, I also rlly like gumball, cuphead and others I forgot... impulsive loud childish characters that have abandonment/validation issues and cause lots of problems. I was a huge trouble maker in the past and the consequences of it were traumatizing [I guess I could have just said that to sum up why I like ctommy 😭]

actually that reminds me that I have ctommy and cdream both on my kin list lol Both of them have fear of abandonment and problems with agency, wanting simpler times and doing bad things for good reasons or even good things for bad reasons, both of them are hated, both of them have strong attachments. my god my writing is a mess can you tell this wasn't preplanned . I hope I explained it well enough

Indeed, and I don’t think they were the only ones who felt betrayed by people like Tubbo joining L’manberg, as I’ve said before I think Punz certainly felt betrayed and left out…. But anyways, here is a playlist with all the streams and there are transcripts online too if you feel so inclined just google dsmp transcripts and the website will pop up.

lol yes you could just say projection. XD That’s always valid. I can hardly argue with that point. That’s what I do after all. ;D And you have the absolute utmost right to feel and project as you want and those are valid reasons for liking a character. (Not that you need valid reasons or anything) No condemnation from me, just to be clear. I appreciate you answering, especially with such honesty. I’m sorry to hear that it’s been so hard for you, that sounds pretty awful and traumatic. I hope, unlike Tommy, you can find real healing. <3 <3

Having said that, because I can’t help myself, even though I asked the question, I hope you don’t mind me poking some holes in your reasoning.

Ahh open minded and friends when it benefits him, after Dream gave him a set of armor and even I think his own bow too. Yeah, fighting an entire army by himself in the Battle of the Lake would be very motivating to be friends and isn’t that how he (they) used Technoblade - as a blade, a resource to get what he (they) wants. - ‘Thanks for the nethrite, big T. Wait did you have an opinion or something this whole time?!’ - yea I’m not sure open minded would be a word I’d choose to describe Tommy is any sense. He certainly doesn’t listen to people, and I don’t see him trying new ideas and stuff. How many times does Tubbo try and keep the peace and tell Tommy something is not a good idea, but he never listens. He doesn’t change his ideology about L‘manberg when teamed up with Techno, he doesn’t even gain a deeper understanding of Techno being a person while sided with him. How can he be open minded?

Yeah the whisper in the chat always throws me off, too. My view is that he wanted Tommy to be exiled for burning down George’s house to protect George and set an example for anyone else who tries to mess with George, and so he wanted Tommy to lash out. But there’s also the thing of Tommy constantly bad mouthing him the whole time so yea it would feel good to have some comeuppance. And how many times has Tommy whispered to someone to rub it in there face or piss them off? But it’s different when it’s Dream huh…

Oh how noble to stop the fire you started. Did he also return the things he stole? Or apologize for the damage he did? Try and fix it? No?… yeah, sure he took the blame for Ranboo, but I think that was the end of his nobleness.

Doesn’t he always joke? Eh not important I guess, he does a lot of sulking too though to be fair… Hyper empathetic is quite a choice of words. Especially because I’m not sure Tommy even feels empathy (but that’s probably a topic for a later time). Like honestly, I can’t think of one instance where he emotionally connects to someone… like heh? He cares about people. - Does he? Does he care about people that hurt him? How bout, Eret? Techno? Does he care about them? Outside of Wilbur, who has he done something for. Or is it just Wilbur, who as you pointed out has manipulated him into a twisted familial relationship.

lol to be fair, Tommy is always annoying, is always telling jokes, is always antagonizing Dream. Like as far as I can tell, when it comes to that behavior I’m pretty sure there was hardly a difference between pre exile mocking Dream and post exile mocking Dream. Just saying…

Umm well depends on the context of that honestly, manipulation is a diverse tool in many situations. Part of the manipulation could even be pushing someone to be annoying like he does in the staged finale for instance. Being annoying isn’t necessarily a deterrent, though it could be to remind himself that he hates Dream in contrast to his feelings in exile so perhaps that’s what you meant.

Yeah, I haven’t seen those shows well I do know the video game cupheads, but I get the idea and you’re not alone in that. I guess perhaps my childhood experience was just different and that’s one of the reasons I don’t get it… in any case, I’m glad you found a good character to project on (it’s very therapeutic) even if I don’t quite get it. XD <3

[kckramer]

Writeblr Introduction

Hello! It's time to properly introduce myself to the writeblr community. You can call me KC if you want. I am a full time specialist as my local library system and I have a Master of Letters in Fantasy Literature from the University of Glasgow. For now, this is my writing website, until an agent/editor tells me to build a WordPress or something. (I honestly hate traditional blogs. Weird quirk, don't know why. Also, links are underlined). If I get tagged in things, I will do my best to respond to them and share it forward.

Published Works- This includes my self-published 5e adventure and the two anthologies that include my stories. It will be updated and kept current as this develops.

Works in Progress- The main projects that I've been bouncing back and forth between. Most are world-oriented, meaning they have numerous interconnected stories within a single world.

Where to Find Me: Some of my other internet homes, including World Anvil, Pinterest, Twitter, and Facebook.

More Details Below...

Here are some more details on the different things I linked above:

Published Works

"Sofia Serrento's Flying Circus and the Sky Pirates of Shanghai" is published in the anthology Hell Hath No Fury: New Pulp Heroines. It's a New Pulp story set in 1930s Shanghai, featuring Sofia Serrento and her all-women aero-circus/spy ring.

"The God-Kings' Tomb" is published in the anthology Futures That Never Were, an anthology of original sword & planet short stories. This one is in the same universe as Sofia Serrento, so the two stories are... technically connected. This one involves an SOE advisor specializing in the occult and arcane who finds herself transported to a different planet in the solar system.

Siege at Oasis Butte is a standalone 5e adventure published through the DM's Guild featuring a desert town under siege by mercenaries with mysterious motivations.

Works In Progress

Iron Horizons/The Pilgrim's War: This was a NaNoWriMo novel from a few years ago that has since... grown. I've been calling it a Dieselpunk space opera, but alternate history/retrofuturism is also apt. Basically, humanity rapidly developed space flight in the 1920s based on some MacGuffin physics nonsense leading to the second world war happening on a solar system level using extensions of 30s aesthetics. Pilgrim's War is set roughly 400 years after that war ended, with the extensive resources from space maintaining the colonialist expansion into the stars and focuses primarily on a sort of... War of 1812 situation between a well-established independent government and their recently independent colonies.

The Centurion Club: My published short stories are set in this universe. Ironically, this is also an alternate history. It's the primary setting for my "New Pulp" fiction. It's mostly short fiction, with some longer projects in the brainstorming phase, and it focuses on the fictionalized city of Weymouth in New England and the members of the illustrious Centurion Club, a scientific society for explorers, scientists, freedom fighters, reformers, and others who push the boundaries of human society. Beyond that, a sword and sorcery setting in Mesolithic Doggerland, some privateers/mercenaries in the 17th/18th centuries, and a contemporary CGIS special agent in a Clive Cussler vein, plus a great many vigilantes and adventurers in the 1930s.

Sigil of the Sea King: A heroic fantasy which, also a NaNoWriMo project, is self-indulgence, where I throw together everything I've really enjoyed but could never fit in elsewhere. So there's an island kingdom ruled by merchant sea princes, flying air whales, nomads whose wagons are pulled by sails, cozy Forest Folk, a lone surviving heir to a crumbled kingdom, and lots of influence from Georgian/Armenian/Caucasian culture, mythology, and history.

Flintlock Fantasy: This is just the earliest stages of development, mostly just simmering, but somewhat Napoleonic secondary fantasy world. The main character is an elf named Lark, and I think she's sort of a janissary-type sent to work covertly in a border region between two empires. Random, Personal Information

You may have once known me as NovelistSpaceRanger, but that was like 8 years ago.

I'm a certified open-water diver and I'm working on my advanced open-water diver later this summer.

Also a whitewater rafter, backpacker, mediocre yogi, and rock climber.

I've been to 14 countries and spent a year and a half living in Europe.

[blackpearlblast]

okay so it looks like tumblr deleted my post about mutual aid diabetes' compilation of fundraisers for diabetic families in gaza and almost all of the initial reblogs from it: however enough reblogs survived for it to continue circulating on the website. seems like they tried to do the full destruction of all reblogs thing that they've pulled on other posts and just failed. because i didn't delete my post and all my reblogs of it and neither did the one person who i found had a record of having the post of their blog previously that i was able to ask. my guess would be that because that post had been found by zionist trolls they had mass reported it to get it taken down but i think the "all reblogs get wiped too" type deletion of posts need to be intentionally initiated by a staff member and not just website automation from random users abusing the report feature. also i would have assumed i would get an email about it but i got nothing. i've been on tumblr for so many years and this has never happened to me before i kind of highly doubt this was a glitch like "whoops the servers slipped up and happened to delete every single version of this post from before march 18th" part of me wants to send an email to staff asking about this but i am also afraid of my account getting deleted in retaliation and my number one priority remains trying to share ezzideen's campaign which losing my tumblr account would make much harder.

[youre-where-i-wanna-go]

My YouTube account just reached 1k subscribers so now I'm gonna make a list of the coolest Angela Bassett video finds I've found and shared on there and how I found them (even if the target audience here is only like one person)

Mr. & Mrs. Smith deleted scenes

Gonna start with the most recent find bc I never thought this footage would see the light of day. They shot all these scenes and only 30 seconds of Angela's voice made it to the movie bc the villains were dropped completely. Turns out the footage had been hiding on the second disc of an unrated special edition DVD release all along.

Old TV Commercials (KFC, Equal, Allstate)

These commercials you're really only able to find if you know what you're looking for. And the way I found out was through interviews in which they were mentioned (one was a newspaper clipping from 1991 that mentioned Equal and Allstate). Then it's watching tons of old commercials from those brands on YouTube until finally Angela's pretty face shows up. So grateful to the people who uploaded them first (even if they didn't mention Angela in the description).

Doubletake & Liberty

There are quite a few movies and shows in Angela's filmography that seem impossible to find. And some of them are really not available to watch anywhere unless you pay private sellers to send you the files. That's what I had to do to unearth these two rare gems. [insert Thanos gif iykyk] but no regrets because I really wanted to see them. Still hoping to find Equal Justice, STAT and the full Ryan's Hope episode

Ryan's Hope clip

Which brings me to the next tiny (very tiny) gem. For some time I had my doubts she was actually ever even in this soap opera. That was until I watched the Oscar's red carpet 2023 and they aired this super short clip of her character. Next to Angela's dress and Gaga's performance that was my highlight of the night.

My Man Bovanne

Talk about credits that aren't even on her IMDb. I found out about her role in this in the Playbill of Joe Turner's Come and Gone (which Angela starred in on Broadway in 1988). Made an account for the one website that hosted this little-known-about short film to be able to screenrecord it. That was a happy day. Fun fact I learned in a newspaper clipping since: Angela only got to be in it because the person who was first cast for her role got sick.

HeartBeat

Another one that took me very, very long to find. This is probably the one I had to use the most detective skills for. Found a dead video on a site that used to host it, tried to look up the account owner on other social media channels and finally found their tumblr that was still active (hooray) and they sent me the file. Best day ever (even though the plot of the episode is really heartbreaking).

Angela talking about kissing Gaga to Access Hollywood

Listen... Listen. If you know me, you know that these two are my QUEENS. They are everything to me and the fact that they played lovers? That they kissed and enjoyed it? Means the world (read my fanfiction on AO3 😉). This interview in particular has only been available as an article to read on their website for many years now but I could never find the video. I wanted to hear Angela say how she kissed Gaga and pulled her in and told her I love you when the director called cut and made Gaga jump. I found an old link to a long deleted YouTube video in an old tweet on one of my many Twitter searches for any trace of this video. Bless the person who uploaded it back then and bless the people who shared it on Twitter and bless the person who backed it up in the Wayback Machine. I owe you all eternal gratitude.

A 17-minute interview about Ruby's Bucket of Blood

DVD extras hold many gems and this is one of the biggest Angela-focused special features on a DVD I've seen. According to a friend who bought the DVD much longer ago, it wasn't even always part of it so I feel very blessed that this came with my DVD that I only bought bc it's one of my favorite movies and I like to collect those on physical copies.

Her Boyz n the Hood audition tape

In a newspaper clipping I read that this has actually been a part of physical releases of this movie since they still put out Laser Discs. But somehow I've never seen it surface online. I found it in a torrent that had all the Bluray special features (the best kind of torrents) and decided to share it of course. It has since gone viral on TikTok (where someone reposted it) which made me very happy. Who thought we'd ever get to see Ms. Angela Bassett audition??

Celebrity Poker Showdown

You have to admit, Angela in a reality game show is just gold. Was looking for this for a long time too and eventually found a Russian torrent (thank you Russians). Was luckily able to share the full episode on YouTube so everyone can get the full experience of "Angela folds" ten times in a row 😁

Angela's full performances of 3 songs on Close to the Enemy

[I only linked one here] Angela's character on Close to the Enemy was unfortunately very small but the British DVD release had extended scenes of 3 of her performances on it. [The American Bluray for some reason didn't.] Glad I found out about these.

1993 Fresh Air radio interview

I don't know if this counts as a rare find as it is freely available on the NPR website and in my university library BUT I have never seen it acknowledged until I shared it on YouTube and let me tell you I put blood, sweat and tears into captioning this 16-minute interview 😭 the payoff was grand. One interviewer from Variety used it in her research and mentioned it to Angela (who couldn't even remember it lmao) and part of the audio was also used in a tribute post the Academy (yes the Oscar Academy) did for her birthday. It's not my interview but I know they wouldn't have done so if it wasn't for my video (that I posted in tribute to the great Tina Turner. RIP.)

(Assumably) all her episodes of Search for Tomorrow

If I'm not mistaken this was her first on-camera acting job and a cool guy posted all her episodes (and hundreds of episodes she wasn't in) on YouTube last year. Luckily I downloaded them all right away as his channel no longer exists. Her episodes are safe on my hard drive tho and her scenes are safe on my YouTube channel :)

I was going to share a link to the unaired pilot of Identity (2011) that someone posted but it's already been privated again. Might post her scenes at some point, in the meantime if you're interested in this episode you can always dm me, I saved it to my hard drive. Very exciting find indeed as I also never expected it to see the light of day.

Honestly I get excited over every interview, DVD extra, speech or segment from a TV special that I come across (especially old ones). Sharing these on my YouTube channel is my pride and joy and I also have a scenepack account on Instagram (@/angelabassettscenes) where I share all her scenes from her bigger projects that I can't share to YouTube for everyone who wants to watch, edit or GIF them. Seeing people get as excited as I do when I share my finds makes me so happy and I'm definitely not done. Many DVD featurettes still to come. Angela's work will be preserved on this channel by any means necessary 😌

If you've read this far, thank you for reading and have a good day/night

[tom-bones]

hiya. sorry to bring this to you, but apparently that's where the discourse is happening.

i'm M, i hate social media and i've known Nosferatu for roughly 15 years now. IRL. and i made a blog/profile/account/whatever it's called because the amount of dumbass propaganda being spread about them is fucking ridiculous.

they are severely traumatized, suicidal, have a terrible view of themself because of mental and emotional abuse they've endured for years. and they have multiple fucking personality disorders without a way to get to a professional because their mom can't afford it and their dad is a neglectful asshole who couldn't keep it in his pants and decided to abandon them at age 4, doing only the bare fucking minimum since. and trying to get out of even that however he can. their parents flicker between loving and self-centered to the point where they can't fucking talk to them without their anxiety spiking up.

we've grown up together. i know and trust them with my life. they were the one fighting my homophobic grandmother when i came out. they've been my anchor for years before my family had to move abroad for unrelated reasons, which only let us get on calls and text. i've seen them at some really serious fucking lows. and they are hitting one of those right now because some assholes never bothered to communicate with them and blamed them for everything wrong that happened to them on this fucking website. and because you idiots never bothered to actually ask or talk to them, choosing to believe said assholes.

calling them manipulative is absolutely ridiculous. i've been on call with them multiple times, trying to talk them out of hurting themself while they were screaming and crying. i've got a text from their mom, in a rare "loving mommy" moment at 2 AM last night about how they tried to fucking skin their forearm to get rid of their ghost tattoo. a tattoo that they were so excited about, it was like seeing them healed for the first few days after they got it. but you claim it's "suicide baiting" because they didn't fucking succeed? because they were fucking stopped?

there was one person Nosferatu ever manipulated. a teacher in their high school, who mentally abused his students. despite being one of the favorite students, they put themself against him and then managed to make it look like he was being overly dramatic, making him leave the students alone until they finished school. they only time they ever manipulated anyone, all to defend their classmates. but you idiots would rather believe jackasses who never bothered to try and reach out? seriously?

they're autistic and poorly socialized. they're social awareness sucks, especially with strangers. what they saw as "bullying" was just friendly banter to Nosferatu. and none of them ever bothered to message them and fucking say they feel off. they need to be called out, yes, but not like this. simply informing them that they sound mean to them would solve the fucking situation. but no, it's easier to make a big exit post and claim they abused them and manipulated the rest of the group (who can think for themselves, btw) because it fits your narrative, doesn't it? you people will jump at any opportunity to bully someone, and then when they manage to get pulled back from almost ending it all, you claim they're baiting. and when they try to explain themself, not fucking knowing what exactly they're accused of, you call them a fucking narcissist? for a completely reasonable reaction?

and you know what they did after they found out why you all suddenly started spamming them death threats? reached out to the other group in an attempt to explain the situation. and they did so via discord group chat that i watched through a shared screen, trying to calm them down. and guess what, assholes. they apologized, owned up to everything and explained themself to them. and in return, they got acknowledgement, but nothing else. no apologies for painting them to be this evil mastermind, no clarification, nothing. so i'll throw an accusation of my own and say that they actually wanted Nosferatu to suffer. all because they were too bitchy to communicate, and Nosferatu wasn't. they reached out to them, because suddenly after months of not interacting, suddenly people were accusing them of being abusive and making people quit.

i'll throw in another accusation, actually. in the group chat, they claimed they're not quitting because of Nosferatu, but rather the backlash they were getting from anons. but they failed to mention that in the post, just to make sure Nosferatu ended up looking like a monster who ruined everything for them. they wanted you to hate Nosferatu, all because they got the wrong impression and never bothered with talking to them.

Nosferatu is absolutely fucking harmless unless they have an actual reason to be an asshole. they act terrible to people who hurt their friends, such as when you idiot anons starting shit with the Sister Rose person. they do so because it's the only defense mechanism that works with their family and their own abusers. they do it whenever they break down mentally. they push people away. they act terrible to make sure nobody can hurt them at their moment of weakness.

they had to turn off the ask function completely. they had to back out of roleplay. they're scared of talking to anyone because there's a risk you fucking idiots will go out of your way to abuse the person they spoke to or you'll start spreading more lies like you did here. i'm not going to tolerate shit like this about the person who already struggles with their mental state and emotions and who is only finally getting the help they need because they earn their own money through a summer job. that they have to work for 12 hours a day.

go fuck yourselves, all of you. you lead to Nosferatu almost ruining all their relationships out of fear. you made them want to skin themself, and if it wasn't for their mother, they'd be in the hospital because of all of you now. if not dead. you've ruined a hobby, a passion and a fandom they loved so dearly. you made them despise their special interest, because you've made them feel unwelcome. and why? because the people you've been fighting for decided to manipulate you and make Nosferatu look fucking evil.

funny how you all defend actually manipulative people by calling someone who barely interacted with them a manipulative narcissist. if you ever actually spoke to them, you'd know they're not a monster you all seem to want them to be. they're scared. defensive. because they're getting a bunch of fucking accusations out of nowhere, with everyone expecting them to know what happened when they have no fucking clue.

fortunately, i'm gonna be able to come to visit them relatively soon and you bet your sorry asses i will get them to roleplay again. because it made them happy. they would go on about new storylines and how excited they were. i'm not gonna let you take my friend's happiness away like this again, all because you clearly don't have functioning brains and can't think for yourselves.

you're all abusers. you're all bullies. and the fact that you just believed those people without using your abilities of critical thinking is fucking unbelievable. people like you are why i avoid social media. a bunch of brainless assholes, jumping at an opportunity to be pieces of shit to people just because.

PS: learn how to tell apart a fucking character from a real person. they literally stopped using a name and assigned it to their roleplay character just to avoid confusion, and yet you morons still can't tell it apart.

// please read with caution. i won’t add much commentary, but i feel this post is very important to share so people, especially the anon haters, can get a clearer picture of what’s been happening in both nosferatu’s life and the rp community in the ghost fandom. tobias would be appalled by all this. the people who sent nosferatu death threats should be ashamed. you guys claim she’s evil when in reality you guys are acting like fucking jerks toward them. anyways, this post explains itself pretty well. the anon haters need to get a fucking life.

[blue-aconite]

Can we please have a little background info on let me drown? 💕

Vee, first I'd like to apologise for not answering this sooner. Second, I'm so excited you want to know more about Let Me Drown. I've been wracking my brain for this ask and I've decided to put it underneath a cut. There won't be any significant spoilers, but better safe than sorry!

You can find some background here. Find out more below the cut!

Like I've said before, I actually can't exactly remember how I came up with the idea for LMD. As I mentioned in the post linked above, there was another fic planned called "Mid-Air Collision", which had similar elements that I've adapted into LMD.

In the film, it's very obvious Rooster and Hangman share some kind of history. They don't like each other and there's some kind of slumbering conflict between the two of them. I found that fascinating and while I do love me a good Hangster fic, I knew I wanted to create something else this time around.

I think there was a dream involved where I saw parts of the fic. Call me crazy, I don't know and when I woke up, there was only a vague memory of what had happened. But I couldn't let it go.

I made this, which became my first visual for the fic and after creating this, I made two separate Pinterest boards. One for Bradley and one for Jake.

In MAC, Bob's little sister was named Sasha, which I used in my first draft. But the name never felt right, she didn't feel like a Sasha. So while I recycled parts of the character into LMD, I knew I needed to let her become her own person. There might have been a poll involved in choosing a name, or maybe I asked for opinions in the Discord server, but either way, Thea got stuck on my mind (I was most likely looking at baby name websites).

I wrote this in the Discord, saying to get ready for pain and angst:

Bradley slammed Jake against the wall, knuckles white as he tugged on the shorter man’s shirt. “Shut the fuck up!” He sneered, trying desperately to ignore the way Jake seemed to thrive on his anger. Hangman smirked as if their position didn’t bother him in the slightest. The rest of the squad tried to pry them apart, tried to get Bradley to let go but he held fast. Jake didn’t once try to break free, he just kept a hold on Bradley’s wrists. “Calm down Chicken.” The nickname, that Bradley hated, was the last straw as he pulled back only to raise his fist instead. If he couldn’t get Hangman to stop smirking, he’d punch his face instead. What he didn’t count on was Bob of all people stepping between them and blocking Bradley’s fist.

And another few blurbs, but it all started with the confrontation between Rooster and Hangman at the Hard Deck and Bob picking Jake's side over Bradley's (this event has not occurred in the timeline for the fic yet and what I've shared above has changed a lot).

Bradley's issues came into play quite early and I knew before I even started writing that he and Thea were doomed from the beginning. There was no way for either of them to make it out of the relationship unscathed and I always knew Bradley was going to break her heart.

There was a point where she never found about his infidelity directly from Rooster but rather Athena, but I owed it to both of them that Brad was the one coming clean about his actions. There was even a time where Thea was going to forgive him at first but as Bradley's toxic behaviour unraveled itself and became such an important part of his downfall, I knew Thea would never do that.

Same as I knew Bradley and Thea would never make it, I knew Jake and Thea were destined to be together. That was a no-brainer.

The balance between writing Bradley and Jake as love interests is what intrigued me the most, how different and at the same time, alike, they are. It's a swamp of navigation but I knew I needed to write it.

I could go on and on but I'll stop here. Thank you so much for this ask, it's been great fun answering it. You know my DM's are always open!

[lianabrooks]

How To Keep Your (Found) Family Happy

A friend posted a cartoon about weaponized incompetence on another website and talked about how every family has this. In fact, most groups of humans have run into this at some point, it's pretty normal for humans to try to find a way to take the easiest route (even if it means more work for others).

Despite all that, I've been with the same person since 2001. We've been married most of that time, had four kids together, and moved countless times as we restarted jobs, hunted promotions, and switched career fields. And we've managed to avoid most of the pitfalls. Here's how my spouse and I have avoid fights, weaponized incompetence, bitter feelings, and feeling neglected in our relationship for over 20 years (Hint: there's a lot of communication going on)... P.S. These are all very family/relationship-centric but you can absolutely adapt them for the workplace, school, or anything else.

MAKING CHOICES AHEAD OF TIME ... the menu is made at the start of the month, money is allocated before major events, we plan trips sometimes years in advance. All of that reduces the choice making later and is one less stress to handle. This is purely a decision making fatigue thing, if you have to make a decision, it requires brain power, and after a long day you'll have none. So why not sit down on a quiet day and make all the decisions you need to make for the next week? Poof! Brain power is freed up and there is less stress!

MONTHLY & WEEKLY CALENDAR SCRUBS... we sit down and make the menu around the first of the month, and we fill in the calendar with schedules so we know which days someone will be too busy to do things like cook, wash up, or something else.

DAILY CHECK-INS... whoever is home together in the morning does a morning devotional (yoga, dance time, scriptures, motivational quote, prayers, whatever works for you) and review what's happening so everyone is tracking major tests, work meetings, stressors, ect. Then we try to have dinner together if possible (even if it means eating at 5) and then a bedtime check-in before light's out (usually scriptures, prayers, and chatting, then bedtime stories for the littles). If people are working from home, we might have lunch together too. That means we have 2-4 planned meetings a day so we can course correct. -> If you're not religious, don't stress it. Pull out some Terry Pratchett quotes, favorite poems, pick a theme song for the week and dance to it. Just give you and your people five minutes to do something happy together. -> If this is at work this might mean a team meeting at the start of the day or a 12 minute check-in at 1:30 when everyone is back from lunch. The goal is to make sure everyone is on schedule for what they need, haven't run into an emergencies, and no one has questions. A supported work team gets more done.

SPENDING LIMITS... we got married in college when we lived off college stipends of $400/m. And we had a kid. Our rule was never to spend $20 without consulting the other person. We never changed that. We discuss everything from birthday presents to grocery lists and when we're getting gas in the cars even though we're much more financially stable. It means everyone spending out of the main accounts is tracking where the money is going so we don't over-splurge.

CHORE SCHEDULES... when we were first married we'd set aside an hour or so to clean the house together. It worked. As the kids got older this got more complicated (they needed to learn how to clean). But now we're at a point where everyone has assigned chores and we put bounties on chores that need to get done and are unassigned. And then we have one cleaning day (usually Friday or Saturday) where we take an hour and all clean the shared spaces. It takes 30-60 minutes to clean the entire house if you have six people working together. Laundry has assigned days for every load. The dishwasher and cooking have assigned days. It works. Everyone helps to the best of their abilities. -> With this is a lot of Adjusted Expectations. My house is not color coordinated with everything in a bin. My family is all neurodivergent. Most our dishes live on the counters because putting them away makes them vanish. This works great for us but might be overwhelming for other people. Who cares? It's our house, we're doing what works for us and the person mad about messes on Instagram can suck a lemon. -> If you really cannot do chores, cosplay it. Roll the dice and make it a game. Set a timer. Bribe yourself. Make it work for you.

ONE-ON-ONE TIME... not just for me and hubby, but for parents and kids. We try to make sure everyone gets some alone time where they are the focus of attention and we can check-in and make sure their emotional needs are met. Kids need a space to vent. Adults to a space to not be parents. -> This is super important for friendships too. Make time for people in your life! -> At work, this means managers need to make time to talk with their employees, check-in, and assess who needs things (and consider the people's needs first, not the CEO's bonus)

SCHEDULED DOWNTIME... usually this is Sunday for us (the Sabbath day for our religion), but it can be whenever, and we might have more downtime scheduled on a stressful week than in an easy one. The goal here is to make sure everyone gets time to not work, not lead, not think, and just chill. They can play, listen to music, nap, whatever their brain needs, and they can do it without upsetting anyone or feeling guilty because it's part of the schedule. -> In an office this would mean not lean staffing, maybe having an early release day once a week (or a late start) or long lunches. Give your people space to zone out and chill so they can come back refreshed. -> Quiet Quitting only exists because management is trying to exploit their staff. Don't be that boss. (P.S. Join Your Union)

SOME THINGS DON'T HAPPEN... our kids are limited to one after-school activity a year and one AP class for high schoolers. We've tried other ways and found it generates too much stress. I limit projects I take on because I have a set quitting time, even though I work from home. My husband passes up on some away-from-home events with friends because we prioritize family time. Figuring out that balance is something you have to decide as a family. What works for one person won't work for all. -> In business this means doing sustainable, slow growth over rapid booms that overextend and hurt the system. Stop looking for the short term boost when long term is better.

ADAPT TO WHAT YOUR GROUP NEEDS!... this is the most important one, because what we've done over the years has changed in reaction to the needs of people around us. My kids in college need something different than the one starting middle school. My team at the lab needed something than my team at a newspaper. If you have a bunch of introverts, they probably don't want a dance party, they want a three minute meeting with a heads up about any major disturbances and then ten minutes of silence to prepare their souls for any human interaction. Do what works.

[letsdrawvideogames]

I thought I'd briefly pull the proverbial dusty tarp off this defunct tumblr briefly to address some of the incoming traffic that I expect to see this week now that NCHProductions has publicly credited me for my artwork that their video is based on. I'd like to preface this by saying that we reached an agreement in private and I have accepted NCHProductions' apology, and that I do not condone or tolerate any harassment of NCHProductions on my behalf. This post is not meant to relitigate things or stir up drama. But with what happened, I thought this would be a good opportunity to open the floor to discussion on how the internet treats ownership of fanart and derivative work. I'm just one artist and my opinions are my own, but I've been at it a long time and it's not the first time someone else has used my fanart as a basis for something else. Here are three examples:

In 2018, Jonathan Nesbitt made a coding project as an entry for an informal contest run by the website Standard Code. His entry (properly viewable here) was based on a Metroid piece I had made in 2014 and he credited me in his entry. Although he never reached out to me to my knowledge, I thought this was fine given the time contraints and the fact that no money changed hands (the grand prize was an Amazon Echo someone had lying around). I think Jonathan's piece is very cute and I'm happy to have inspired someone this way. I might not have considered the artistic value of a simple HTML page otherwise.

In 2016, tumblr user @cyriusli messaged me about getting a Bulbasaur I drew in 2015 as a tattoo. He reached out to me directly and asked for permission before doing so and credited me as the artist when he shared a photo of the finished tattoo. Even though an artist in another medium was paid money to recreate my work in this case, I considered this to be entirely above board, and I'm sure the artist who actually inked it was happy to know that their client had explicit permission to use my piece. Knowing that someone has to look at my Bulbasaur every day until they die might be the height of flattery for me. This isn't the only tattoo of my work that's been done, and I'm always happy to see it so long as you ask permission.

Lastly, just a few weeks ago, I had to submit a takedown request on Displate against graphic designer SS Art, who was selling a poster that used a slightly edited version of a Shadow of the Colossus piece I drew in 2013. This is probably the most offended I've ever been as an artist. I doubt this seller made much money off of it and to their credit, Displate took it down very quickly, but it bothers me that it was allowed to go up in the first place. The ease with which merchandising platforms allow their users to publish anything without verifying its origin has made it ironically difficult to support the artists that I love: I've been looking for a new case for my Kindle on Etsy lately and found it extremely difficult to verify whether a seller's art was original or stolen. In one case, I found a seller selling a case with a Keith Haring print on it. I consider Haring's Unfinished Painting to be one of the most moving artworks of the last century, and here was his work being sold by some random Etsy store as "abstract cartoon funny dance pattern." I find this a deeply saddening, troubling phenomenon.

As the internet continues to shrink down to a handful of social platforms, it's been fascinating to see how the concept of fandom has shaped and been shaped by those same platforms. Fanart, memes, remixes, mashups, and other new forms of art that make copyright lawyers heads' ache have emerged as we all pile onto each other online. Overall I don't think this is necessarily a bad thing. When I was first online twenty years ago, it's likely that I never would have seen art from many overseas artists on the English-speaking web, but it's been very heartening to see how the explosion of fanart surrounding interpretations like ErinArtista's distinctly Brazilian take on Hatsune Miku or Ayyk92's Bowsette character can bring an audience to artists that many of us wouldn't have known about otherwise. I think there is room for such a thing as fanart of fanart, I just urge artists of all stripes to think critically about how we use other people's ideas. I am not a lawyer, and I cannot tell you where the line is or isn't drawn in regards to work based on copyrighted material, or what your rights as an artist are if you make fanart and aren't the copyright holder. I've definitely made some decisions in the past that I now regret about monetizing derivative work, but I wouldn't feel right about enforcing any standards I might adopt onto others. The internet has, in a way, become one giant game of telephone, and I don't like how difficult it can be to be certain of the origin of something. For now, going forward, I think it would be nice to see more normalization of hunting down sources to the best of a person's ability coupled with acting in good faith when new information comes to light. This tumblr is dead, and I likely won't be responding to any comments directly, but I'm very interested in hearing what you all have to say.

And just for absolute transparency, I ran this by my friend Ixo and borrowed some of his phrasing in the conclusion. He can be found at https://ixo.neocities.org/