#one of those runs that anything that can go wrong WILL go wrong
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HUMILIATED 𖤍
summary; when rafe gets with you as a barrier to stand between the tension that stands in stone between him and his drug dealer, but the moment barry realises what he's doing, he takes it to his utmost advantage and uses you to prove to rafe that he will never be anything other than pathetic to him
content; rafebarry x reader, dubcon, ass eating, use of weed, “bitch” is used in a derogatory way towards reader
rafe cameron is a pathetic man. there’s no doubt about it, anyone who’s ever met him has found it out in some way or another. you’d been told this when he started going after you, and to your dismay, you’d ignored it. you’d had no idea that rafe had alternate motivations when he began pursuing you, but you were ever so wrong.
maybe one month ago, more or less, there had been a rather monumental night. rafe and barry, up late, smoking, had fucked. it was quick and rushed and sweaty and gross. and then rafe had run for the hills, never to acknowledge the night again, or so he thought.
overcome by a mountain of emotions and complicated thought processes, he’d done everything possible to distract himself, starting with a few hookups, and then a relationship with you.
you do the job well enough for him, but even so the dealer is always somewhere in his mind. you notice sometimes when you’re having sex that he just disassociates, but you’re not sure what he’s thinking of, maybe that’s just how he is in bed.
whilst you’re not aware of all of the backstory behind them, you know something is up with rafe and barry. when you tag along with rafe on his weekly visits the tension between them is tangible. barry always remains stony faced,rafe always looks similar to a prey animal, scared, skittish, ready to run or play a defence. you quickly become aware that you are his defence.
rafe takes you there to try and intimidate him. to try and show him, to send a message that says “I don’t need you.”
tonight is one of those nights. you are sat cross legged on one of the two couches on barry’s front porch. you feel rather uncomfortable.
the two men are smoking weed, each of them have their own joint, because apparently sharing doesn’t happen anymore. rafe occasionally offers you a drag, which you occasionally take, but you think if you got high, the tension in the air would make you puke. it might make you puke anyway.
nobody has said anything for over five minutes. you decide to crawl into rafe’s lap, for some comfort, retreat, maybe just to make him break this deafening silence.
rafe lets you take a place straddling his lap, you wriggle down there to get comfortable before you rest your head on his chest. to your absolute disappointment, the silence continues.
another ten minutes, maybe fifteen, you can’t keep count. you hear the moving of cushions from behind you, barry must be changing the position that he’s sitting in.
looking up, you see rafe’s jaw ticking in supposed frustration. you can tell that the thoughts are rushing around behind his eyes before his gaze hardens and he looks back down to you.
without speaking, his hand cups the back of your head and he pulls you up to lock lips with him. the kiss is sudden and a little too intense for the context, being that his drug dealer is watching it happen.
there’s really not a way for you to protest and this does help occupy the quiet and awkward just a little bit so you don’t. along with you not protesting, it escalates just a little bit. a lot actually, within minutes you’re humping on his bulge.
your mouth no longer on his lips and now on his neck, you can see his face just a little bit. he’s staring right at barry, not looking away, not blinking. his only acknowledgement of you is the hand on your lower back, guiding your movements just a little bit.
you think maybe you should just stop, walk home without him and escape this turmoil of looks and telepathic communications you can’t tap in on. but something else happens before you can act on it.
you don’t see it coming, so it takes you by surprise when barry’s firm pair of hands pull you back to stand up against him.
“fuckin’ done with this.” he grumbles, but he’s not speaking to you, he’s speaking to rafe, who’s face you can now see is bright red, eyes wide and lips parted. “you think you’re such a tough guy huh? nah. we’re not doin’ this no more. you wanna fuckin’ show off your girl like that makes you better. huh?”
he yells, pushing you aside but blocking you in, as he goes down to rafe’s level. you watch in shock as he leans forward and grabs rafe by the collar. then he pushes him down to lay on his stomach on the couch, making his cheek smush up against a pillow that probably smells of mould.
once rafe’s pants are pulled down and his ass is revealed to the cold evening air, barry grabs you once more, forming a ponytail in your hair to keep a firm hold of you.
his mouth comes up close to your ear, “you think your man’s tough huh? nah. gonna show you what a fuckin’ pathetic little son of a bitch he is.” the dealer's words are driven by an anger that you are not sure the origin of.
you have to avoid yelping when suddenly you’re pushed to your knees and your face is inches away from his ass. you can guess now what you’re about to do.
hand still on your head, barry levels his face with rafe now, “feel like a big guy now rafe? do you feel good?”
and then your face is shoved down. your mouth immediately comes into contact with his asshole. by default, you begin to move a little, parting your lips and tonguing at it. barry chuckles, “this girl knows what to do, doesn't she? you got her trained rafe? you like having your ass ate?”
rafe whimpers. he feels humiliated, this is not the reason he ever dated you. he dated you for confidence in himself, not whatever the fuck this is.
unfortunately, for him that is, pleasure is there too, and he can’t resist reacting to it. his ass shifts upwards to accommodate the boner that was pressing into the couch uncomfortably.
the sounds he’s making are oh so pathetic, whimpers and whines and little begs to barry to stop this. he doesn’t stop though.
even when you come up for a breath of air you’re swiftly pushed right back down by his firm hand, “keep goin’ bitch. I didn’t tell you to stop.”
after chastising you, barry turns to rafe with a clear sense of what he’s about to do. “look at you. fuckin’ pathetic. never gonna be the big man you think you are rafe cameron.”
it takes just a few more seconds and then rafe cries out embarrassingly loud. “mmh- fuck. get her off o’me.. stop it.” tears are falling down his cheeks while he feels nothing but humiliation at what he’s doing.
barry does pull you away, pushing you aside, but only after he’s sure that rafe has endured every last second of his orgasm.
you move up to sit on the floor two feet away, eyes fixated on the two. rafe is breathless, body limp on the couch, cheeks red and tearstained. his eyes bore into barry’s, it’s like they’re speaking in their heads again. whatever the fuck has happened between these two, you just hope to god you don’t have to stay a part of it.
#rafe cameron prompt#barry obx prompt#rafe cameron concept#rafe cameron blurb#rafe cameron#barry obx#rafebarry#rafebarry x reader#rafebarry prompt
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I'm reviewing episode transcripts from "Merlin" to build up my worldbuilding document (character list, mostly) and, a little ways into S2, I'm kind of feeling like the show is actually quite mean to Arthur as a character sometimes? S1 E14: "To Kill the King" is one of those episodes where I forget how badly it pissed me off until I run into it again.
Like, don't get me wrong, Arthur can be a bully, entitled, hotheaded, and reckless, but he's also at this point risked his own life to save people multiple times. Both individuals whose lives were "worth less" than his own (getting the Mortaeus flower for a poisoned Merlin, smuggling Mordred out of the city, protecting Ealdor from bandits) and also Camelot as a whole (fighting the plague-causing monster in the sewers, fighting the mam-eating griffin, drinking poison to lift the unicorn curse).
Arthur is giving me vibes of being both bored and frustrated (and probably not able to name those feelings or exactly why he has them) because he wants so badly to do good things, but he's not really sure how to go about it because (no one ever tells him anything, he almost NEVER knows what's really going on to make informed choices, and) he's also stuck under the thumb of his tyrannical father, who spends most of their scenes together berating Arthur for being too merciful, for not being dutiful enough, and/or not finding sorcerers for execution fast enough. When Arthur tries to be fair-minded and compassionate, Uther often essentially tells him that he's going to be a weak king with that attitude.
Arthur's pathways to betterment are limited, his parent and role model and boss here is an AWFUL person, but he's trying!
So, it's quite frustrating to get to this one episode where characters like Gaius (extremely biased, admittedly, clearly not an objective individual) are saying things like: "Arthur's not ready. The responsibility would be too great. Brave though he may be, he lacks experience, he lacks judgement."
Like, I don't know, Arthur may be only 21 and kind of a dipshit, but I personally think he'd still do a better job than the guy who tried to kill a kid (Mordred) just for existing a few episodes ago? Maybe? Gwen's father, who wasn't even a sorcerer or knowingly working with one, is dead explicitly because of Uther's awful laws. Did everyone in this episode forget that Uther tried to BURN GWEN ALIVE AT THE STAKE not that long ago (Episode 3)?
ARTHUR: "[Morgana]'s right, Father. You hear the word magic, you no longer listen."
UTHER: "You saw it for yourself. She used enchantments."
ARTHUR: "Yes, maybe. But to save her dying father, that doesn't make [Gwen] guilty of creating a plague. One's the act of, of kindness, of love, the other of evil. I don't believe evil's in this girl's heart."
UTHER: "I have witnessed what witchcraft can do. I have suffered at its hand. I cannot take that chance. If there is the slightest doubt about this girl, she must die or the whole kingdom may perish."
ARTHUR: "I understand that."
UTHER: "One day you may become King. Then you will understand. Such decisions must be made. There are dark forces that threaten this kingdom."
ARTHUR: "I know. Witchcraft is an evil, father. So is injustice. Yes, I am yet to be King, and I don't know what kind of king I will be, but I do have a sense of the kind of Camelot I would wish to live in. It would be where the punishment fits the crime."
UTHER: "I fear you're right. She's played with fire, and sadly she must die by fire."
When the adult druid (Cerdan) accompanying Mordred is killed (Episode 8), Arthur objects afterwards! On his own! While Arthur is sometimes an active participant in Uther's tyranny and otherwise complicit, he's been told all of his life that magic is inherently evil and corrupting, he was raised by the very man spreading this hateful philosophy, he should probably hate magic more than anyone after Uther, and yet he still disagrees with Uther's methods and judgments. Even though Uther is apparently VERY willing to lock both his son (Episode 4) and his ward (Episode 8) in the dungeons for disagreeing with him and disobeying him!
ARTHUR: The Druid was only in Camelot to collect supplies. He meant no harm. Is it necessary to execute him?
UTHER: Absolutely necessary. Those who use magic cannot be tolerated.
ARTHUR: The Druids are a peaceful people.
UTHER: Given the chance, they would return magic to the kingdom. They preach peace, but conspire against me. We cannot appear weak.
ARTHUR: Showing mercy can be a sign of strength.
UTHER: Our enemies will not see it that way. We have a responsibility to protect this kingdom. Executing the Druid will send out a clear message. Find the boy. Search every inch of the city.
Obviously, running a kingdom is complicated! Uther apparently won Camelot by conquest and is in conflict with many of the neighboring kings, including Odin and Cenred, and likely has more of the respect of the local nobility than young Arthur does. Uther's death would create some instability! (Agravaine de Bois hasn't been created yet, but let's assume there are many other potential vultures.)
But the show generally isn't pushing that angle. This isn't really about smooth transitions of power. Personally, concerning Arthur's "lack of judgment", I do find his ready conviction that it is his duty to die for Camelot's honor if necessary (he says as much to Merlin explicitly before fighting Valiant in Episode 2, then again before fighting the Black Knight in Episode 9) more than a little concerning, but that doesn't seem to be angle pushed here either.
The show has characters (Merlin, Gwen, Gaius) suggesting that offing the King, who regularly kills innocent people whether they have magic or not, who has forbidden use of the tool that might have saved innocent people from Nimueh's plague or the wraith of Tristan de Bois, would be wrong! It would be murder and murder is bad! It would make (in the words of a grieving Gwen) her "just as bad" as him.
Even though Merlin has at this point already killed Aulfric and Sophia (Episode 7), as well as Mary Collins (Episode 1) because they were trying to kill Arthur. And arguably got an assist with Valiant (Episode 2). And will kill many more as the show goes on. This conversation with Kilgharrah in S1 E14 is in many ways so, so funny:
KILGHARRAH: Well, young warlock, what is it you come to ask of me?
MERLIN: I need your help.
KILGHARRAH: Of course you do, but this time, will you heed my words?
MERLIN: The sorcerer Tauren is plotting to kill the King. He's made an ally of Morgana. I don't know what to do!
KILGHARRAH: Do… nothing.
MERLIN: What do you mean? If I do nothing, Uther will die.
KILGHARRAH: Don't you want Uther dead? It is Uther that persecutes you and your kind, Merlin. It is Uther that murders the innocent…
MERLIN: But surely that doesn't make it right to kill him.
KILGHARRAH: Only if Uther dies can magic return to the land. Only if Uther dies will you be free, Merlin. Uther's reign is at an end. Let Arthur's reign begin. Fulfil your destiny!
[The dragon flies off.]
MERLIN: Wait! Where does it say my destiny includes murder?
KILGHARRAH: Free this land from tyranny, Merlin! Free us all!
I feel for Kilgharrah here. He was VERY straightforward. I don't know how he could have been clearer about this.
I won't say that Merlin's character writing doesn't make ANY sense here (I do think the character writing in this show is NOT amazingly consistent), because... he IS being influenced by Gaius, who is, unfortunately, a bootlicker and also probably extremely traumatized by all of the death he's seen (big contributor of the bootlicking) (also, apparently Gaius only becomes a "freeman" at the end of Episode 6, so there's that). And Merlin is also being heavily influenced by Arthur, who loves his father, despite everything. For Arthur's sake, if no one else's, Merlin will go out of his way to save Uther. Sure! That tracks!
Merlin spends a lot of time in this show protecting a terrible status quo under some assumption that Camelot will... somehow suddenly become better under Arthur? Instead of perhaps eventually just trusting Arthur and talking to him after their years of knowing each other? There are several, in-world reasons for this and I don't think they're all unrealistic! It's tense! It's thrilling sometimes!
(Though I am ultimately a little annoyed that Merlin's many secrets never really come out and get dealt with by the characters, because that would have been fun drama and some resolution to all the tension, even if the story did still end in death.)
There's some tasty tragedy in this silly show, in many ways. Merlin is confused and conflicted and scared and without clear guidance in many ways. Kilgharrah is mysterious and not at all reassuring. Gaius is complacent and (very reasonably) incredibly secretive. Merlin doesn't get to see many of the moments where Arthur speaks up for magical people and tries to talk Uther down. Morgana and Arthur are both stuck here in a "The hands that cradled you are covered in an unimaginable amount of blood." "But they cradled me, yes?" nightmare scenario. (There's also a sexist element where male characters like Gaius and Merlin won't let Morgana know about her own powers "for her own good" in a gaslight-y way that's fascinating to me in how it creates a villain.)
But, also, the compelling tragic elements here don't make certain episodes any less frustrating to watch in their execution. (I don't think villains being frustrating to watch or read necessarily makes them effective villains, especially when what I really find annoying here is the heroes' reactions to the villain. Uther has killed SO MANY PEOPLE! FOR NO REASON!) Especially when a lot of the overall results of this show often feel more accidental than purposeful. I do understand why the writers keep Uther around! He's a formidable antagonist to have looming all over the place and the actor is fun.
But OOF, I felt that "Do... Nothing".
Merlin! MERLIN! LISTEN TO THE SCARY DRAGON! MERLIN, REMEMBER THAT TIME UTHER TRIED TO BURN GWEN ALIVE??? JUST BECAUSE GWEN IS TOO NICE TO GO AFTER UTHER WITH A KNIFE AND TAKE REVENGE, IT DOESN'T ACTUALLY MEAN KILLING HIM MAKES YOU "JUST AS BAD"!!! MERLIN!!! YOU HAVE ALREADY MURDERED MULTIPLE PEOPLE WHO KILLED WAY LESS PEOPLE THAN UTHER!!!
In Episode 4, Morgana says to Uther: "You can't chain [Arthur] up every time he disagrees with you." This implies to me that Uther has had Arthur thrown in the dungeons before. In Episode 3, Arthur says to Morgana: "Father will slam us both in chains if he knew I'd endangered you," and maybe he wasn't at all joking with that? Arthur is rattling the bars of his cell here, apparently fairly ready to be aimed wherever Merlin points him, bucking against being aimed at innocents by his tyrant of a father.
But nooo, Gaius says Arthur is "not ready yet" because...??? He seems less hotheaded than Uther to me, honestly. Are his tax policies not up to par yet? You can hire a guy for that. Suggesting that Arthur would be in any way worse than His Majesty "Anyone Who Talks To A Sorcerer Gets Executed Even If They Didn't Know They Were A Sorcerer" feels quite mean to Arthur, really. I think he'd do alright, in comparison, Gaius who lies to the King every single day, but I suppose you sometimes want to be a loyal friend to good ol' King "Made Merlin Drink Poison That One Time And Wouldn't Let Anyone Go Get The Cure". Good for you. Bad for everyone else.
Like, I know, I know this show is not very deep. I like that all of the characters are flawed and fumble a lot! I even kind of enjoy that it ultimately ends in death with so many loose emotional threads. It is a weekly burst of fantasy nonsense that is not especially concerned with consistency in worldbuilding or characters from episode to episode. But the executive discrepancies here are, like the ones in "Star Wars", weirdly fascinating with all of the holes and wobbly bits it creates.
This show: "Yes, our hero has once again saved the tyrannical king who kills innocents! Preventing the oblivious prince from assuming the throne and trying to do better as he so clearly wants to do! Good work, Merlin, taking the high road (which involved murdering the rightfully angry people trying to kill the tyrannical king) again!"
Me, every time: "...I am genuinely not sure how the show wants us to interpret this. What did they think they were doing with this? Was this always meant to be a tragedy from the first season? Because personally, I'm getting some kind of tragedy from this."
#tossawary merlin#merlin emrys#arthur pendragon#long post#tossawary watching#spoilers#character death
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The Watcher ~ Part Two
Part One
Summary: Rafe Cameron x Reader, Stalker!Rafe x Pogue!Reader Your parents work late on Friday nights, which you spend alone. Except you haven't been alone in a long time, not that you know of at least. Rafe has watched for years, he's very good at it. His idea of staying an anonymous stalker is ruined when you catch him in your bedroom one Friday night. Rafe has to figure out how to fix his mistake before he loses the only thing that makes his life worth living. After you find the surprise he had left for you, you choose to believe that his threats were empty and try to turn him in. But, your plans are interrupted and you take an unexpected visit to Tannyhill.
Warnings: Rafe stalks reader...that's literally the plot. Strong & descriptive language, suggestive themes, death threat(?), manipulation, kidnapping (?). If I missed anything from this part that I should include in the warnings, please let me know!
Word Count: 3.5k
Author Note: Part Two is here!! I know this chapter is shorter than the previous, but I figured it's better to get what I had out. Also...I'm not sure if I like where this is going, so please share your thoughts about this part and ideas for future parts. Thank you all for the support on the first part of this story. Especially with this being my first work I've published on tumblr, I am very pleasantly surprised with how everyone has reacted to it. So, please enjoy and feel free to leave feedback! I love you all, thank you so much!!
CREDITS: The foundation of this fic was heavily inspired by/ based off of one of @faiszt 's bots on character ai. So, if you like this and you like character ai, I greatly suggest that you check out the bot!
The blinding morning light shines into your room through your curtains. You sit up and rub your eyes. You glance at the digital clock on your nightstand which currently reads: 10:34 am. Those sleeping pills really worked, you think. Your parents are already at the restaurant, probably just getting over with the morning rush.
Your eyes begin to focus, your brows furrow as your eyes land on one of the posts of your footboard. You lean forward to grab the pair of panties you had just worn yesterday which are hanging from your bedpost. You’re pretty sure you had put these in your hamper last night and wait, why are they sticky…? You wonder, you examine them and come to the realization of what it is. Immediately you toss them away, that was not from you. It was your stalker, it had to be. Of course, the first night you spend alone since four weeks ago and he already breaks in. And he does this? You think about his words, “tell anyone and I’ll come back and fuckin’ kill you”, shivers roll down your spine.
You hadn’t even had time to realize how horny you had been when you had woken up; and now that you have you feel so wrong. But your dream…oh god your dream. You can still remember it vividly, even more so the longer you think about it; you can see the face of the man who fucked you stupid in your dream. You know who it was, who your subconscious mind let you fuck while you slept. It was your stalker.
Without another thought, you’re in the shower scrubbing the shame and disgust from your skin—or at least attempting to. When you feel somewhat satisfied, which also happens to be when the water begins to run cold, you finally get out. Wrapping a plush towel around your freshly clean body, you lean over the bathroom sink and wipe the condensation from the mirror leaving just enough space to see yourself. Before the glass fogs back up you’re able to see a small part of what appears to be a bruise poking out from underneath the towel wrapped around your chest. You lean in closer using one hand to re-wipe the mirror and using the other to pull your towel down past your boobs. Looking back at the bruised area on your chest, you can see that the closer you look at it, the more it looks like a hickey. You just about stumble backwards at the realization.
You’ve had enough. After you quickly toss on some clothes, you grab your keys off your dresser with a shaky hand. You rush out towards your car and get inside, pulling out of your driveway carelessly and speeding off. When you arrive at your destination, you take a few moments to rethink this plan. You have to do this. You can’t keep living with some creep sneaking in your bedroom and touching you as you sleep. You twist the keys in the ignition and pull them out, you confidently strut towards the entrance of the building. When you feel the vibration of your phone in your pocket you pause, sighing as you reach back to take it out. When you read the random number, with the same Outer Banks area code as you, your brows furrow. Typically you wouldn’t answer a call from an unknown number, but something in you is telling you to answer. As you press the green button and bring your phone to your ear, you glance up at the building you were about to enter which reads, ‘Kildare County Sheriff’s Office’.
“Hello?” You ask warily.
After a few long seconds, the person on the other side of the line answers you. “Stop.” The man’s voice sends familiar chills down your spine.
“Excuse me?” You respond, your voice audibly shaky. “Who…who is this?”
“C’mon pup, you already forgot what I sound like? It’s already been that long?” Your eyes widen at the realization of who this voice belongs to. You’ve heard it one other time, well one time that you remember.
As your head darts around the parking lot looking for your stalker, your voice comes out in a tone that easily betrays you, revealing your fear, “No…no…what the hell do you want?”
Rafe smirks from his truck as he watches you from afar. “I want you to turn around and get back in your car, m’kay princess? And I highly suggest you do what I want.”
“Or what? What’s stopping me from walking in? Or from yelling for help?” You take a step closer to the building’s entrance.
“Stubborn, stubborn girl…” the man chuckles, “If you don’t get back into your fucking car right now, you’re gonna really fuckin’ wish you had just listened to me. I’m gonna get what I want no matter what, baby. You’re mine.” And with that, Rafe hangs up the phone, still watching you from a distance.
As much as you want to just run into the building and beg for help, you know that unfortunately since you’re a pogue, the cops aren’t going to believe a single word that comes from your mouth. In their minds, all pogues are liars and thieves. And since you don’t have the slightest clue on who the man you saw in your bedroom is, you figure there’s not much they’d be able to do even if they did believe you. So you reluctantly turn back to your car and get inside. The moment your door shuts you inside, your phone buzzes yet again with another call. It’s coming from the same number, but this time you don’t answer. This was your second mistake.
Rafe’s already pissed off. You went against his rules, you didn’t listen to him, none of this will work if you don’t listen. He thought he had been threatening enough that you’d behave, but clearly you need another scare. You need to be taught that disobeying him does nothing but hurt you more. When you don’t answer the phone when you definitely know it’s him calling, this is just the cherry on top; the icing on the cake. Rafe is fuming.
You drive out of the parking lot, breath heavy as you stay on high alert–searching for him. A truck suddenly pulls behind you, tailing right on your ass. You can’t see through the truck's front windshield due to the dark tint. You being paranoid, step on the gas and speed up a bit, well exceeding the speed limit. A few quick seconds pass by and you jump at the sound of sirens. It doesn’t take long for you to check your rearview mirror and realize that the sirens are coming from the truck behind you, which is flashing its red and blue lights. You let out a breath of relief. You’re being pulled over yet you’re relieved because it means you aren’t being trailed by your stalker. The feeling is short lived as you flick your signal on and pull off to the side of the road. You roll your window down and shut off the engine.
The officer approaches you and goes through the typical routine and you try to calm your nerves. All sound is drowned out as you get lost in your thoughts.
“Ma’am?”, the officer repeats. “Do you know why I’ve pulled you over today?”
The sharp and unintentionally threatening voice of the deputy snaps you out of wherever the hell it was that your mind had taken you to. “Yes, sorry sir, I…I was going over the speed limit.” You submit, wanting to get this over with. You can’t help but worry what your stalker would think if he saw this, he’d probably think you’re turning him in. But, you’re not. Really this whole thing was a misunderstanding, but you can’t explain that to the cop.
“And why is that?” He questions you ever further, his gaze staring at you intensely. You get nervous and want to look away, but you worry that might make you look guilty of something. You’ve been pulled over before, it’s not usually a big deal for you. However you’re just so goddamn nervous and need this moment to be over. You feel like you’ve done something wrong; like you’re hiding something. But you aren’t.
“I–I thought…I just got distracted sir, wasn't thinking about speed. I apologize for the inconvenience.” You catch yourself, technically you aren’t lying; you just aren’t explaining why you were distracted. The threatening words of your stalker still echo around your head. The deputy gives a small lecture as he writes up a ticket for you. Once he gets back into his truck and drives off, you rest your head back against the seat and let out the breath you’ve been holding. When you start your car back up and finally open your eyes, you look straight out across the road. You can see a tall man leaning against a truck parked across the road, staring right at you. The familiar grin on his face has you sick to your stomach.
After making direct eye contact with him, you pull off the side of the road and do an illegal U-turn so that you’re heading in the opposite direction, leaving the man behind. You know that he’s following you, so you drive around aimlessly until you get another call from the same unknown number. You want to decline, but you’re too afraid to face the consequences that might follow.
“What do you want?” You ask, voice full of faux confidence. The only thing you hear on the other side of the line is a heavy breath that causes your skin to become full of goosebumps.
After you’ve had a few moments to panic, he finally speaks, “Keep driving”. His words are not said lightly. This is undoubtedly a command, not an option.
“Keep driving to where?” You stammer with nervousness.
“Tannyhill.” He replies strictly.
“Tannyhill?” You question before being able to stop yourself. You can’t help the attitude that slips into your voice. When a few more moments of silence pass, you get more and more anxious for his response. “Hello…?” You ask quietly, wondering if you lost connection. Still nothing. “Hello?” You ask again with more volume. After another minute or two, you hear the phone beep; the call disconnects.
Why the hell does he want you to go to Tannyhill? It doesn’t make any sense. But you don’t exactly have a choice. He’s following you either way and it’s not like he doesn’t know where you live…and just about everything about your life. So, it’s probably best to just play along and obey his commands.
When you get close to the general destination, your phone rings with yet another call. You answer, already knowing who it's from. This time you don’t speak first, you wait to hear what he has to say. It takes a few moments, almost like he’s trying to wait long enough that you’ll talk. The silence starts to get unbearably awkward, but your mind is set on waiting for him to speak and Rafe doesn’t have the time to wait; having to give you directions and all. When he finally talks he doesn’t greet you. His voice breaking the silence startles you as he instructs you with the directions to get wherever it was he was forcing you to go.
“Wait…turn left h-here?” You ask, confused at his directions. You had missed the beginning of what he said since you had to collect yourself after being frightened.
He sighs in impatience, “No dammit, the next one. Were you not listening?”
“I…no I-I was listening–” you stumble over your words as you turn onto the street he wanted you to.
“Bullshit. You need to learn how to fucking listen to me, don’t you?” When you don’t respond, trying to focus on remembering the directions he gave you, it only serves to piss him off even further. “Huh?! Don’t you?!” He shouts into the phone as he follows behind you.
You whine in fear, “No..I can listen. I promise I can listen to you.” You practically beg. “J-just tell me where to go?”
Rafe directs you to his house, which you of course recognize as the Cameron’s mansion. You’ve heard about the Cameron’s, but you wouldn’t be able to point them out in a crowd or anything. Besides from the father, Ward Cameron, whom you’ve seen on the news several times. Is he a Cameron? As you park in the large driveway, you rack your brain trying to recall the name of the Cameron son.
His truck parks behind you, blocking your car in. He quickly kills the engine and exits his vehicle. You don’t notice him walking up to you until he’s yanking your car door open and pulling you out by the arm.
“R-rafe?” You mumble insecurely. He pauses to look at you, chuckling at your words. He mutters a quick ‘smart girl’ before retightening his grip on your arm and continuing to pull you into the large mansion. You start to cry, getting overwhelmed as you imagine the many possible scenarios that may occur. “P-please,” you manage to choke out. “What do you want?”
Unlike the last time you cried to him, this time he doesn’t stop. He drags you up one level of the large, spiral staircase; pulling you into his bedroom. As soon as you see the bed, you’re already feeling it beneath your back when he shoves you down just a few seconds later. As if you hadn’t already embarrassed yourself enough, you can’t help the tears that begin to stream down your flushed cheeks at a flooding rate.
“Wait…no, please, please!” The way you keep shouting and choking back sobs causes you to gag from how worked up you’ve gotten yourself. All the Cameron son does in response is lean back to get a full view of you as a smug grin spreads across his face. “Please, I—oh god, I’m gonna be sick…” You mumble, which is quickly followed by another gag that interrupts your constant sobs.
Rafe snakes his hand up from your arm to your hair, wrapping his first tightly around a large section of it. He tugs on your hair to force your head to look up at him, causing a small whine to escape your lips. “Shhh…baby, shhh…” He mumbles, his ‘worried’ tone working to oppose his previous amused expression. “Calm down, alright? Calm down. Ain’t gonna do nothin’ you don’t want, m’kay pretty girl?” The way he says that last part…you’ve never heard his voice sound like that before. You didn’t even think he was capable of talking in that tone. He sounds like he might actually truly care about you. You’re relieved; maybe even a bit…comforted by the fact that he might be telling the truth about not doing anything you don’t want. Well, besides having you basically held captive in his home.
“What…what are you gonna do?” You manage to choke out between sobs, trying to catch your breath so you can calm down.
“I just wanna talk to you baby. Alright?” Rafe mumbles your name into your ear, allowing you to feel his hot breath against the side of your face. Immediately you’re taken back to the first time you had met him, in your bedroom a few weeks back. You try to push that aside and bring yourself back to the present; the memory only brings back the feelings of complete and utter fear you experienced at that time. Not that the present was any better, hell, it was worse.
Hesitantly, you nod. He waits a few minutes to speak; waiting for you to catch your breath. Once you’re calmer, at least on the outside, he finally starts to talk. “I wanted to talk about my proposition…” He looks down at you, bringing his hand up to cautiously run through your hair. “Last time I got cut short…remember that?”
You nod. “I…I tried to warn you my parents would come home. I-I swear I didn’t tell them anything.” You say frantically, trying to prove your innocence.
“Hey, shh…it’s okay babe. I know. I know.” Rafe speaks slowly, his eyes never leaving your lips. He pauses to momentarily dart his tongue out to wet his parted lips. “I know. You haven’t told…you’ve been a good girl and listened to me, hm? Haven’t you baby? Haven't you been a good girl?”
You nod frantically. “I…I’d never turn you in…” The false seductiveness in your voice turns him off, if that’s even possible.
He pulls back from you and sighs, “Shut up.” He runs a rough hand over his buzzed head and begins to quickly pace across his bedroom.
“B-but you wanted to talk…” You remind him. The way his attitude was constantly shifting in great amounts had you furrowing your brows as you tried to figure him out.
“Yeah, I do. But not to a goddamn filthy, lying whore.” He retorts, a large grin appearing on his face while he watches your beautiful features move on your face, displaying your thoughts as you take in his words. “Just be yourself alright? I can always tell when you’re not you.” He says almost sincerely. “I want…I need you to want this. Don’t try to pull that fake crap on me ever again, yeah?”
Immediately you nod. “I…yes-”, you stammer, instantly regretting even trying to talk in the first place. Rafe chuckles, making your cheeks heat up in embarrassment. He stops pacing and lets out a long sigh, turning to face you again. His steps pause when he’s standing just before you.
He leans down to whisper in your ear. “I really need this to work, okay…? This is good, this can be good for the both of us. I can help you; we can help each other, baby.” A silent tear rolls down your cheek from the fear of what’s to come. “I know…I know I messed up, alright? I know. But, you don’t have to be scared, baby. It’s all gonna be okay.” He brushes a stray strand of hair behind your ear.
“Please…I just wanna go home, let me go home!” Your cries are ugly, and very, very real. The fear in your voice only worries him. Worries him that you may never get past this. But you have to. You don’t have another option. And he really, really doesn’t want to have to hurt you. That was never his intention.
“But you are home, baby. You are home.” He mutters as his fingers brush over your cheeks, smearing your tears. Your breath hitches at his words and your eyes slowly move up to meet his. This cannot be happening. Why is this happening? You think.
“No…please I…just let me go home. I won’t tell. I promise I won’t. I’ll…I’ll never tell anyone about any of this okay, I’ll never say anything about you.”
“I can’t do that, baby…you know I can’t do that.”
“Why not? I swear, I’ll never ever breathe a word of this to anyone.” You say enticingly.
Rafe sits down besides you, causing the mattress to dip and make you lean towards him. He puts an arm around you and his hand lands on the back of your head, pulling it into his chest.
He leans down to speak into your ear while his hand pets over your hair as you cry into his chest. “Because I need you baby, I need you. And I need you to let me take care of you, yeah? I know…I know you’re scared, but you don’t have to be. Just trust me okay…we’re gonna be so good together baby.” He tugs at your hair, gently guiding your face to look up at him. “Just listen to me and nothing will happen, I don’t wanna have to…do anything. I just need to know that you’ll listen to what I say.” Immediately you nod, going along with what he says. He tugs on your hair harder, eliciting a gasp to fall from your lips. “Ah ah, I know you can talk. You’re a big girl, now fucking act like it.” He says forcefully.
“I-I’m gonna listen, I’ll listen to you, just please, please don’t hurt me.”
He smiles softly as his eyes dart across your face, unable to pick a feature to focus on, everything about you is just too damn perfect. “Don’t worry I won’t hurt you, not as long as you listen.” His grip loosens on your hair again. “But you’ll be begging for it soon enough.” Rafe’s whispers are enough to make your sobs start again; in which he pulls your head back into his chest. Your tears soak into his shirt as you have no choice but to cry into him.
To be continued...
Thank you for reading! I hope this was enjoyable. This part took quite a bit for me to finish, since life has been a bit busy and I haven't had much time to plan or write. I apologize for the short chapter, I'll try my best to make up for it with the next part! I never really feel done with anything and as I said before I'm not sure if I'm a fan of this part or not. So, if you have literally ANY feedback, questions, or suggestions, PLEASE feel free to let me know! I don't really have any solid plans for this fic so if you have any ideas I just might include them in future parts. And there's not much I won't write!
#rafe cameron#drew starkey#obx season 4#outer banks#outer banks netflix#outer banks season 4#rafe cameron x reader#rafe obx#obx4part2#rafe x reader#outerbanks season 4#outer banks fanfiction#obx4#outerbanks x reader#outerbanks rafe#outerbanks fanfiction#thewatcher#perv!rafe#stalker!rafe#rafe x pogue!reader#rafe cameron x pogue!reader#pogue!reader#outerbanks x you#rafesbabyg1rl
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What Are You? A Middle Schooler?
Chapter three - 01x02 Light Bulb
Warning - sexual themes ( 18+ Ideally | 16+ realistically )
masterlist | previous chapter | next chapter
Following instructs that the Kindergarten teacher gave, almost every class in the small school found themselves in the gym/lunch room in where it waa nothing from chaos. In on corner you have Melissa trying to teacher class with Barbaras class behind them going over how to read time. Gregory and Janoine trying to go over spelling, the gym class playing basketball. And Siren’s class spread out trying to finish their thirty minutes of reading and taking notes.
“I made this mess, and I need to fix this,” Janine vented to the substitue teacher.
“Okay, but fix this how?” Gregory looked around the gym at the consequences of the teacher’s actions. “It seems very outside of your skill set. You should probably just wait for somebody to get to it…”
“I don't want to wait for someone to get to it,” Janine disagreed. “You know, our children have
needs that deserve to be met. And I'm going to fix this. Nothing is going to get in my way.”
“What if you have to climb another ladder?” Gregory mentions, pointing out roadblock that can possibly get in her way. “Those seem very tricky for you.”
“No. Not today.”
“Aren't you going to lunch, Janine?” Melissa askes as the other teacher besides Janine and Jacob walk to the door to leave for lunch.
“Uh, no. I'm gonna stay and help the lunch ladies with lunch.”
“If I don’t like you then I know for sure they don’t,” Siren speaks up, wanting this let’s figure out what Janine doing process to go faster so she and her wife can go in a empty parking lot and have her stressed relieved.
She always coming in the kitchen saying "hello" and whatnot. It's unsanitary. - Culinary Staff
“Is that what you're really doing?” Barbara looks at the woman for answers.
“Yes! And maybe trying to get the lights back on,” the short teacher avoids eye contact.
“Would you give that a rest? What do you want? To make the whole school blow up?” Melissa directs the girl.
“No. Plus, I can't,” She shakes her head. “Luckily, the school was built as a bomb shelter in World war II, so…”
“Let it go,” Barbra commands.
“Okay. I will.” With that the teachers will lunch plans walk away.
“You're not gonna let it go, are you?” Jacob asked the teacher in questioning.
“No, I'm not gonna let it go, Jacob, okay?” She answers. “I need to right my wrong.”
“Okay. Well, count me out.”
“I never counted you in.”
“Well, then count me in, because I don't have any lunch plans.”
“Okay. Come on,” the teacher duo walks through the swinging doors to only find Siren standing on the other side with her arms crossed.
“Whatever fucked mistake you make next better be resolved before I come back from afternoon lunch one-man,” Siren tells them.
“One-man? W-what is that?” Janine looked confused.
“What are you a middle schooler?” Siren squinted her eyes.
“I- I think she means her and Melissa are going to go have sex in their car,” Jacob whispers calrification to the confused teacher who eyes widen in realization.
“You guys are dorks,” Siren rolled her eyes. “Go and hurry up and play failed Bob the Builder and then actually have someone fix it. I don’t need to come back stressed after I got destressed.” With that Siren walked away heading for the double doors that led to the outside world.
“Hurry up, the nearest Walmart is 10 minutes away from here. Which means 10 minutes there and 10 minutes back leaving only 20 minutes left to eat you out and 20 to actually eat food.” Melissa honked the horn to her car at her wife who she felt like was taking her slow time getting to the car.
“Don’t rush me or you get nothing,” Pulls o the passenger door handle and jumped in.
“Yeah right!” Melissa rolled her eyes. “As if you run anything in this relationship. Now buckle up and get my snack ready for me.”
XXX (Caution Graphic Links)
“Sit on my face now, ” Melissa turns off the car after putting it in park and reclining the driver’s seat.
“Ugh I’ve been waiting for this since Janine opened her mouth,” Siren flung off her underwear as her pants were already sitting somewhere in the back seat. Melissa licked her lips and helped her younger wife sit on her face and when Siren soaking pussy made contact with her mouth, she dived in as if she was eating her grandmother’s cooking.
link
She took Siren’s recently waxed clit between her lips and started sucking it with hunger. Siren moaned with her left hand hitting her hand on the roof of the car and her right hand clutching onto Melissa’s red locs. “F-fuck..!” Siren moaned as Melissa was nibbling, bitting, flicking her tongue, and sucking on her clit like it was the best lollipop in the world.
Melissa guided her tongue further down until it was right at Siren’s pulsating hole and plunged it in, making Siren yell out at the sensation. “Fuck, mommy!”
link
“Yeah, you like that bambina,” Melissa mumbled into the girl’s walls before continuing to lick on the velvet surface. “You gon make a mess on my face, huh?” Melissa feels Siren pulse and twitch, which made her smirk and give a harsh smack to her wife’s brown round ass. Siren decided to take control by riding Melissa’s face as the Italian woman’s hands were massaging her ass like it was a stress toy. In hunger and cravings, Melissa’s tongue went even deeper to where she was curling her tongue so she could hit Siren’s g-spot which she did successfully which was assessed by the younger woman’s jerking movement that caused her to tighten her hold. Siren’s thighs started to tremor and Melissa could feel her walls clenching around her tongue rhythmically, so she had to use her jaw to really put the work in and make her precious bambina cum. “ Be a good bambina and cum for mommy,” Melissa whispers, giving her wife eye contact. Soon after, her hard work paid off and Siren closed her eyes tightly as her essence poured into her wife’s mouth while some smeared on Melissa’s face as she was always a messy eater.
Melissa hummed in approval and used her lips to pull on Siren’s clit before realsing and spitting the given essence back onto her Siren’s pussy. “Ahh!” Siren gasped at the sensation. “Can you give me one more babygirl?” She asked and Siren nodded. “Good bambina, get the towel from the back, place it on my lap and sit facing the wheel.” The older woman directs her much younger wife. Doing as told, siren retrieved the thick blue towel that’s get cleaned weekly due to the frequency of them having sex in the vehicle. Placing it over Melissa’s work pants, Siren sat in the position she was ordered. Melissa slid her fingers back into Siren, this time with more force and speed than before.
link
The spouse moaned, the sound vibrating in her chest as Melissa pushed in deep, filling her more than she could have imagined while being in a car and not their bed. Her walls tightened around Melissa fingers, clenching with each thrust as you built up a rhythm that left her gasping, still sensitive from her last orgasm.
“More,” Siren whispered, the word slipping out like a plea. “Please… I need more.”
The raw need in her voice spurred Melissa on and complied without hesitation. The Schemmenti woman could see how much Siren was aching for it, her body craving the kind of release that came not only from pleasure but from being overwhelmed, from being taken. With a smirk on her face as she watched her wife through the rear view mirror as if she was watching a movie and angled her fingers upwards, finding that perfect spot deep within her, and began to stroke it with every thrust, sending sharp jolts of ecstasy through her. Siren’s breath hitched, a choked moan escaping her lips as her hips bucked, seeking more of the relentless pressure Melissa provided.
“Is this what you needed, bambina?” Melissa asked, her grungy voice low and rough as she watched Siren come undone once again on top of her. “For me to fuck you like this?”
“Y-yes, mommy!” Siren whimpered, coming down from her high as Melissa quickly pulled out her fingers. “Mhhm.”
“When we get home, go straight to our room and get Demon,” Melissa lifts Siren’s chin up to make straight eye contact while her other hand was softly rubbing the young woman’s clit up and down. “Mommy wants to finish this later. Now wipe yourself and get your clothes back on.”
“Wipe for me,” Siren mumbles, trying to get her breath back under control.
“So fucking spoiled,” Melissa roled her eyes, being smirking, grabbing the towel that’s on her lap and wipe Siren’s vagina a little harshly which caused the woman to wince. “Ouu, mommy’s sorry bambina,” Melissa cooed in the woman’s ear before reaching over in the middle compartment to retrieve baby wipes. Opening the package she takes a wipe and wipe the fluids from between Siren’s leg and another one for her face.
XXX
Before walking into work, she took a deep breath, knowing that the second she stepped inside, a new problem would surely arise, thanks to the unpredictable antics of Janine and Jacob.
“Ooh.”
“What in the... What's going on?” A blast of hot air smacked the group returning from lunch as they walked into the building.
“What in the world?”
“It’s so hot! My hair’s gonna frizz!”
“Janine, what did you do?!” The senior teacher spotted the new teachers emerging from the janitor’s closet, their clothes dusted with black dirt and their faces drenched in sweat. “Lookin' like who shot John.”
“Barbara, look, I know you told me to let it go, but I couldn’t,” Janine began, her voice pleading for understanding. “Jacob helped me open the breaker.”
“It was a chance to support a strong Black woman,” Jacob, the white teacher, offered his perspective under the harsh glares of the other teachers.
“The breaker?! Janine!” Melissa exclaimed, unable to fathom what had possessed the petite teacher. “You can't do this stuff! What had you come to work today and lose your mind?”
“You do realize that we’re technically in trouble now because the building violates health codes, which means we could be shut down until this gets fixed…meaning none of us are getting paid,” Siren glared at Janine. “You basically created a heat wave.”
“Look, I... I just have…” Janine’s words began to falter as her vision blurred.
“Oh. Ooh. Okay.” The teachers next to Siren moved closer, ready to catch her.
“I feel lightheaded.”
“Are you okay? Did you eat today?” Melissa questioned. “Because I know you didn’t have lunch.”
“And you didn’t have any breakfast,” Jacob added.
“Okay. We’re losing her. Do I have your consent to slap you?”
“Ooh, can I do it?” Siren raised her hand, but her godmother promptly smacked it down.
“Oh!” Janine collapsed to the floor.
“There she goes. She’s out.”
“Y’all feel this heat?” Ava joined the teachers huddled around the unconscious Janine. “Oh, my God! She’s pale like a zombie! You know, they eat the hottest people first. Let me back my tasty ass up.” She took a few steps back, holding up a flashlight as if warding off evil.
“Okay, I’ll get some water from the fridge…uh, hopefully it’s still cold!” Jacob dashed toward the teacher’s lounge.
“Oh, my God! My branzino!” Realization struck the red-haired woman. “Barb, excuse me!” She nudged her friend aside and hurried after Jacob. “I’ll be back! She’ll be okay!”
“What do we do?” Barbara asked, looking between her goddaughter and Gregory.
“I guess we gotta call the nurse for her,” Siren said, pointing to Janine’s unconscious form, “and hold class outside until Mr. Johnson comes back and fixes this mess.”
For the rest of the day, classes were essentially canceled, and everyone was outside, reveling in the freedom as a burst fire hydrant sprayed cool water into the air.
“They’re so happy,” Melissa observed, watching students play and shout with joy. “He’s climbing again.” From the corner of her eye, Siren kept watch, ensuring her students were well-behaved and not attempting to sneak off campus.
“Oh, look who’s back in the land of the living,” Melissa noted as Janine finally joined them outside.
“Who opened the fire hydrant?” Janine asked.
“Well, as Melissa would say, snitches get stitches,” Barbara replied with a knowing smile.
“That’s correct, but I’m not talking to you on account of you killing my branzino,” Melissa stated, keeping her gaze forward and not meeting the younger teacher’s eyes. With a determined look, she cleared her throat, then got up and walked down the steps to join Gregory.
“So that’s it, huh?” Janine asked, taking the now-empty seat. “I gave it my all, passed out, and ruined the school day?”
“Oh, you tanked. You tanked, Janine,” Melissa replied. “You took the whole school down with you. It was impressive.”
“Look, I know I should’ve stopped,” Janine began apologetically. “I’m sorry. I just felt so bad when I saw that look on Melina’s face this morning.”
“You don’t think it kills us to see those faces every morning?” Melissa’s tone softened, almost comically. “What, are we made of stone? You’re not the first person to feel things, kid. We care.”
“How do you and Barbara stop yourselves from caring too much, if that’s even possible?”
“Because it’s the opposite,” Melissa removed her sunglasses, looking directly at Janine. “We care so much, we refuse to burn out. If we burn out, who’s here for these kids? That’s why you’ve gotta take care of yourself. What’s with you today, anyway? You’re normally bananas, but…”
“I don’t know. Just some stuff at home, I think.”
“Oh. Okay.” Melissa nodded in understanding. “See, that’s another thing Barbara and I learned. All that at-home stuff? You’ve gotta…” She clicked her tongue. “Leave it right at that door. Otherwise, you open up a whole 'nother Panera’s box of problems.”
“I think you mean Pandora’s box,” Janine corrected gently.
“No, I’m pretty sure it’s Panera’s box.”
As the day ended, and the children were picked up, the teachers clocked out, ready to leave. Siren had plans and wasn’t about to let anything interfere.
“Oh, hey, guys! What’s up?” Jacob called out, spotting Janine and Gregory heading toward the building.
“Hey,” Gregory greeted. “We’re just going to get something to eat.”
“Oh. Great. I’ll join!” Jacob announced.
“Oh.”
“After-school crew!” Jacob cheered, crafting a nickname.
“Ooh, ‘Afterschool crew.’ I like that,” Janine joined in.
“Hey, Siren!” Jacob called out, spotting the teacher trying to slip away unnoticed. Caught, she took a deep breath, praying for a miracle.
“We’re all going out to eat; you should join us,” he offered.
“Na—”
“Yeah, you should totally come,” Gregory agreed, stepping behind her and gently guiding her toward the group.
“You’re so going to pay for this,” Siren muttered to Gregory, pulling out her phone to text her wife that she’d be late. She received a reply hinting at a playful “punishment” when she got home—but Siren shrugged; it wouldn’t be the first time. As the group walked, the lights suddenly turned on, startling them.
“You touched the lights, didn’t you, Janine?” Mr. Johnson appeared, dressed in work clothes and holding his fishing gear, glaring at her.
“Yes,” she admitted, sheepishly.
“Good thing I got me a system,” he replied, humming a few lines from Boyz II Men.
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Hey bestie, dropping by with a mea culpa. When Peaceful Property started, you expressed concern that GMMTV was inching toward a model of using bl pairs in shows that would avoid being explicitly gay but still draw on shipping fandom to be successful. Coming off The Trainee, which was not a bl but did have expIicitly queer characters and romance subplots, I wasn't sure the intentions were quite that dark for PP, but having now finished it and seen the way some in the production have interacted with shipper fans, I have to call it: you were right to be concerned. At no point was this show ever a bl and none of its principal characters are canonically queer, but they successfully leveraged the TayNew ship to have fans interacting with it as if it was in fact a gay love story, that idea and fan commentary was explicitly encouraged by the creators, and the show has been quite successful despite never actually delivering on all the TayNew bait. I'm definitely concerned that we might have somehow swung back around to queerbaiting being seen as acceptable and good, as long as it features popular branded pairs. I don't have any bigger thoughts to offer about how this should be addressed, but just wanted to come back and say you were valid for naming that!
Thank you. I didn't want to be correct. And I am still hoping to wrong about what this says about where GMMTV is going.
But I am not gonna lie, seeing the posts about the finale did regnite the massive fury I had at this project when it was first called a bromance. So I am going to use your ask as an opportunity to vent.
FOR THE RECORD: I am not mad at you, or at the people and mutual on my dash that have enjoyed the show and are claiming as gay out of spite. My anger is at GMMTV and at GMMTV alone.
THEY DID THIS SHIT TWICE ALREADY!!! Back to fucking back.
I know High Schoool Frenemy is being watched by like 5 people on tumblr. But it's doing well outside of tumblr. They are using bl style fanservice with the 2 main boys of that show. I have seen the shippy content and compilations along with the other bl couples. Not to mention people like Jojo saying those characters are the his new favorite ship on twitter.
AND I AM SO PISSED!!!!
I am glad you brought up TayNew because there is no doubt in my mind that they used TayNew for Peaceful Property as a test. They knew there could be backlash. They knew the bl fandom could have rioted. But they also knew that if it that rage would have been directed at TayNew not at the director, not the company but TAYNEW.
And I think TayNew knew this. Because they spend weeks on social media doing preintive damage control, I have seen the posts of them (or at least New) saying it wasn't going to be romantic. I don't think the two of them forgot how they were left to eat the shit alone over the bullshit backlash during the TayGun kiss situation with GMMTV doing fuck all for them.
And what pisses me off is that BL audience didn't even give a backlash. They eat that shit up like it was fucking icecream.
The BL audience is literally doing their job for them. They are taking a show with some gay subtext and running with it.
They are showing up for the fanservice (again broder audience outside of tumblr), and gleefully closing their eyes and ears and saying well I Think It's Gay.
What do you think Mega Corporation GMMTV is going to take from the success and no backlash? If the answear is anything but: We can produce half of the BLs as usual and make the rest Bromances, you have more faith in corporations then I do.
Because Bromances can be watched by non BL audiences as well. The BL niche is a big one, but it is still a niche.
And now they won't even have to bother inserting arguable quality gay commentary or struggles or homophobia. Or any gay kissing, no more workshops. No more worries about how effective these potential straight boys are going to be at playing gay. All they have to do is making them do fanservice, and they are great at training people for that. Or better yet, actually use one or two ships that have kissed before and done actual BLs.
Will they stop doing BL at all, obviously not, you gotta give the BL audience something to remind them they can still show boys kissing, and we have the Ex Morning and Jojo that will never actually stop making BLs and some gay shit. But if in the next line up we will more bromances, and eventually we get half BL and half bromances I wouldn't be surprised.
Of course maybe I am just pessimistic and cynical. Maybe the proto bdsm in the heart killers is enough to persuade people that I am totally wrong. I guess we will see about that.
Thanks again for the ask and the oppurtunity to vent a little. Again I don't fault anyone for enjoying this, it was design to get the BL audience watching.
I will personally be keeping with my own resolution and never watch another gmmtv show live ever again, maybe binge the few that sound interesting and that's it.
At least I can find comfort in the idea that that other companies do not have the same level of BIG cast of boys and big budget to do the same thing and follow in the bromance trend.
#ask#lurkingshan#gmmtv#peaceful property#tagging this because the show is over#and i waited the all the damn way to vent about my issue with this fucking thing#and i want people in the tags to see it#so they can have it in the back of their mind#and i won't have to see too many posts#acting surprised when there are going to be more bromances announces at gmmtv next line up
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Transcript: I'd love love LOVE to see more "alternate timelines" or AUs for Underverse and Xtale instead of the same "Truce, Ink found and inspired XGaster, and things spiraled out of control leading to the XEvent" and "Cross is in the Nightmare Gang now and either finds a place to belong or is in for a hellish, awful time and runs away into Dream's arms" tales. I know those settings are good for sadboi Cross angst hours but if I wanted to read the same kind of origin stories for Cross and Xtale over and over again I'd just rewatch Underverse. It really feels like there isn't much variation done with Xtale and Cross. Why not make an AU where Dream or Core Frisk meets XGaster first and it still goes horribly wrong in a new way? Maybe Core Frisk tries to directly steer XGaster away from whatever bad path they see for him and they go to meet him before Ink could but it goes even worse for everyone even though Ink isn't involved. And Dream's positive aura is addicting, right? How would that affect XGaster, his motives, and his creations? Or how about an AU where Ink finds out what XGaster's been doing to his kids, reflects how his own dads could have mistreated/manipulated/weaponized him, and he gets the kids out of there with XGaster chasing them across the Multiverse? Maybe a No Truce AU where Error finds Xtale before Ink can and XFrisk or XChara is the sole survivor that Ink manages to save from Error. Or an AU where Xtale is at peace and Cross is restless and inspired to become a Star Sans along with Dream, Ink, and Swap so they travel and defend the Multiverse together. Or an AU where no one finds Xtale and the Multiverse is not involved at all but XChara and XFrisk somehow survive XGaster's death so they have to live in their isolated world alone for a while and, Idk, Cross is an imaginary friend of theirs that becomes real or something. Anything different than Xtale and Cross's canon backgrounds and Nightmare's Gang Cross. Dream and Nightmare have a bunch of different AU selves that go into what-if territory, why not Cross and Xtale? Be creative! (Feel free to use any of these ideas, by the way.)
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The flufftober!! The prompts are so cute omg...
You know what they say about when men having fever, they'd act like they're at the end of their life?😭
I think Atsuya would be one of those men lol. Acting like its the end and pushing us away when he's sick, because its rare for him to get sick, poor guy cant even get up to eat porridge... so... may we get that with the ended up falling asleep together, please? Thank you!
Hi Nonnie!! Thank you so much! 🥰🥰 Omg yes the man cold 😂 he so would, huh? I can definitely imagine Atsuya being one of those men lolol. This is so cute!! Thank you for requesting my love!! 💕
a sick day with atsuya
CW: XFEM!READER, FLUFF, CRACK SLIGHT SUGGESTIVE, MINORS DNI
words: 721
"Atsuya?"
You call into your quiet apartment as you shrug out of your coat, shed your boots, and hang your keys. You got off work after a slightly concerning text from your boyfriend. Usually a sparce texter, you didn't take notice something was wrong with his one word answers until he mentioned he was home from the school already.
"Kusa?" You try again, walking down the hall, heart racing slightly if this was some kind of sick practical joke or the worst really did happen and you were about to walk in on him dead on the floor with his tongue hanging out.
You approach the cracked door to your bedroom and push it cautiously, shoulders relaxing at the sight of your Atsuya, shirtless in his boxers, hairy chest and stomach to match in all his manly glory on display for your viewing pleasure with an arm covering his eyes, tissues, and a mangled box of NyQuil on the nightstand.
No doubt about it, your boyfriend was on the verge of death.
Well, at least that's what he would've lead you to believe with the inhuman groan that left his throat a moment later.
"Jus' kill me, it'll be less painful..." He grumbles, keeping his eyes closed.
"Oh, Kusa..." You shake your head and pout your lips sympathetically. "Baby's got the man flu?" You climb into bed next to him.
"Not the flu, doll." He grumbles. "Baby has a disease. The godforsaken black plague. This is the same shit that killed healthy strong young men like me back in the day."
"Ever the drama queen, my love." You kiss his stubbly jaw and he sighs a little. "Well, did you eat anything, drink water, perhaps?" You run tentative fingers carefully through his spiky dark tresses, taking note of his increased temperature.
"Nah. Didn't wanna wait for the goddamn noodles to heat up in the microwave."
"What the...Kusa! You're killing me." You shake your head. "No wonder you're knocking on death's door. We need to hydrate and get you fed immediately."
"Nnnggghhh."
"Chop, chop, mister, no exceptions."
-----
The apartment grew warm and cozy eventually as the freshly chopped vegetables stewed in the broth alongside the boiled chicken. Atsuya sat on a stool at the counter with a blanket around his shoulders with a large glass of water and a curly straw, gazing at you like the sun stopped and started with the breath you planted in his lungs.
Three hearty bowls of bubbling chicken noodle soup and a begrudging 32 oz of water later, color had returned to Kusakabe's face. He looked at you with weary, grateful eyes as you lay curled up next to him on the couch as your favorite show played, heart aching at the adorable sight of your cheeks and your hair squished against a pillow with your legs in his lap.
"Thanks for saving me, cutie."
"Mhmm, don't mention it...." You smile lazily and go back to watching, keenly aware of his hands that became a little more daring as they worked into a tantalizing massage on your thighs and hips.
"Atsuya..." You sleepily chastise him. "Thought you were too sick..." A breathy low chuckle as he leans over you, playfully nuzzling his face against yours.
"Yeah, I'm sick, doll, not on hospice..." he purrs suggestively, brushing his lips against yours "The day I turn you down for sex, just g'head and pull the plug..." He captures your lips in a soft peck. "'Cause I'm obviously not of sound mind..."
"Mmm...you might get lucky in the morning. I'm exhausted, sweetheart."
"Hehe, no worries, doll..." Kusakabe lets out a yawn, laying his head on your stomach as he feels himself also being pulled rapidly under the increasing spell of sleep.
"Haha, Atsuya Kusakabe, grade one sorcerer, is a formidable opponent against any and all curses, but let him catch a cold..."
"Hey, now..." Kusakabe murmurs. "This doesn't leave our apartment... S'far as everyone at the school is concerned, I'm still unstoppable... I'm only weak for you..." He pauses then drowsily hums, "Don't tell Panda."
"Mhmm...of course of course... your... *yawn* secret is safe with me, darling..." You manage to get out before you drift off to dreamland.
"Thanks, baby..." Before he follows right after you while holding you close to his chest.
#from my trees . ˚ 𖧷 ·𓇥 ° . ♡#atsuya kusakabe#kusakabe atsuya#jjk kusakabe#atsuya kusakabe x reader#kusakabe x reader#kusakabe x you#jjk x reader#jjk fluff#flufftober
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its just one of those days where ive had coffees for closers on repeat
sighhhh
have u ever done an analysis of the song? if not what r ur thoughts?? hope ur having a good day btw xx
Ugh, this song is such a gutpunch. I've talked about it briefly in the context of how it reworks lines from Pete's poem "to you (unfinished, off the top of my head)" in THE MOST PAINFUL WAY POSSIBLE:
He does the same thing with the lyrics he borrows for (coffee’s for closers). Pete’s poem sets the tone for fairy-tale storytelling right at the beginning: “It all started with some friends and a van, a kick drum inside my ribs, preaching electric into a microphone stand.” These beginning images are fond: holding up red cups at house parties, falling asleep together on the grass during festivals, laughing. But Patrick carves those lines out and brackets them with “I will never believe in anything again, we will never believe again.” What an answer to this poem out of Patrick: to take those words and slap them between endless proclamations of not falling for that fairy tale again. Even worse, he tops it off with a rewrite of the “read the charts” line: the poem reads “you can get lonely when u only read the charts.” This feels like more on the theme of “you can get everything you want [but it’s never enough], but it won’t actually make you happy.” You can read the charts, and FOB would be on top of them, but it’s lonely up there, and you need more than that. But the line in (coffee’s for closers) goes: “Only get lonely when you read the charts.” The movement of that “only” shifts the line for me. There are a bunch of ways to read it, but for me it reads like: “You only get lonely when you remember you’re in a band. You’re so busy running around being the life of the party, you’re never, ever lonely unless you’re paying attention to your band.”
The thing is, I consider that poem a fond and wistful love poem from Pete to Patrick, trying to reach across a great chasm, and at first the pain of it is how Patrick initially writes songs that take those lines and rejects them, twists them, spits them back out. Eventually he doesn't. Eventually he soothes the lines back into answering love songs. But in the beginning, he writes songs that are fiery rejections of the mood of this poem, and (coffee's for closers) is one of them. Pete's poem reads all us believers still believe. Patrick in this song writes, over and over and over again, slamming it home, I will never believe again. Take that, Pete Wentz! Never! Again!
To me it's just a brutal song about hating how everything turned out but not seeing a way out of it (I want everything to change and stay the same). The Genius annotation says throw your cameras in the air is about how people always film concerts these days, but I think that's wrong. I mean, maybe, although the song was written in 2008 when cell phone taping was still a fairly new phenomenon. But I think this line is really a rumination on fame, on feeling like everywhere you look there are cameras in your face, and it's not about concerts, it's about your life. Girls used to follow you around...until you got cold, and you were no longer the current big thing, and then it's lonely there in the spotlight, where no one's having a good time, the hands they wave in the air are all cameras pointed at you, hoping to catch the next mistake, and everything that was supposed to be good and great, all those pretty promises Pete Wentz made back in the summer fest days when you fell asleep on the grass turned into this. You've become something I don't even recognize, and I'm just your mascot, some laughable gimmick everyone makes fun of, and you love the mayhem more than the love that was all around you, you threw all that love away like you didn't even want it, and I will never believe in anything again. Change will come, and nothing good is going to come of that, either, because you don't like things the way they are but you know that changing them isn't going to turn out well, either.
This song is just so much. It's so angrily hiatus. It's such a demonstration of how much they had broken down around each other.
But it's okay. Because on the other side of it, eventually, Patrick takes this same poem and makes it into "Favorite Record," so it turns out all right in the end. Happily ever after (below the waist)
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heyyyyy......can you do a one where the reader dies and how do you think the fourthwing men will be during and after it....
This was not what I expected when I said I wanted more of these. I love and hate this at the same time….. My poor boys. I tried to do Dain, Sawyer and Ridoc…. I just could not think of anything. If I do think of something I definitely will come back and edit this.
Garrick.
I think this will extend to a lot of our boys (especially our marked boys), but anyone he considers a friend is someone he considers to be close to him. But I do think we will get some deviation between someone who is a friend, and someone he is romantically involved with.
Regardless this man will be upset, but I don’t think he would outwardly show that. He likes to keep up appearances, so I think he would keep most of his grieving and sadness behind closed doors or around the ones he cares about. Like Xaden he is a leader, and he wants to keep that appearance up and not look weak. I do however think if you were romantically involved with him, there would be a higher chance of him breaking down or lashing out when initially finding out. This would probably come down to how he finds out though. If he watched it happen during a fight/battle, this man is definitely lashing out at whoever caused it, making sure they meet their end by his hands if possible. I don’t see him out right tunnel visioning them, but it would be pretty close. If he finds out after it has happened, he would go silent, internally trying to process what’s happened before walking off. The only indication he’s hurting would be him slamming a door open/shut as he walks away.
Afterwards I think he would take some time to come good again. He’d probably keep up the appearance he’s fine and doing ok where he can, but he’s definitely more moody and grumpy than normal. But I think when he’s on his own in bed at night is when he would let out his emotions properly. He’d probably visit your grave or a place you liked to go to and just sit and remember the times you did have together.
Xaden.
I feel like we can all imagine what this man is going to be like based off how he talks to Violet and what he is willing to do for her. So lets base this off as if you were Violet. Unlike Garrick I think this man would tunnel vision if he saw you die in a fight/battle. He is seeing red till that person is six feet under. This man is willing to sacrifice and do anything for you.
If he isn’t there when it happens, you better hope you’re not the one to tell him. Shadows would swarm from everywhere as he glares down at them, demanding they tell him everything and to take him to you immediately.
Afterwards this man would be moody and lash out if someone even looked at him the wrong way. He wont admit it to anyone, but he always carries something of yours with him after.
Bodhi.
He would definitely be shocked. Tears forming in his eyes, shaking his head in denial. He can’t believe you’re dead. You can’t be. If he was there he’d cradle you in his arms, hoping you’d open your eyes and it would all be a bad dream. But the weight of you in his arms is all too real.
Afterwards he would be very quiet. He wouldn’t be moody like Garrick or Xaden. Not even trying to hide how broken he is after. He’d definitely visit your grave or a place you liked frequently. And if he couldn’t, he’d always make sure to take something of yours with him as a reminder. A necklace, a book you liked, maybe even a drawing you did. He just needs something of you nearby for those moments where he just wants to sit on his own and remember you.
Liam.
He’d rush over to you, the word no falling from his lips repeatedly as he sees you lying there. Just like Bodhi he can’t believe you’re dead. He just kneels there holding you, running his thumb across your cheek as he cradles your head. Silent tears falling down his face. The others try to talk to him, get him to move. But he doesn’t register any of them. Not till Xaden kneels next to him, finally braking him from the trance he’s in.
Afterward he does his best to be his normal self. But the spark that’s usually in his eyes is long gone. His smile not as bright as it used to be.
He’d definitely make a wood carving that represents you. Your dragon if you were a rider, or a flower or animal that reminds him of you if you weren’t. He’d sit it on his bedside table where he can see it every morning and night. One day Xaden comes to see him and sees it, a smile pulling at his lips when he notices it.
Brennan.
I could see him instinctively going to heal/mend you, a knee jerk reaction to seeing you hurt. But a voice in the back of his head reminding him of Naolin stops him just before he can place his hands on you.
On the outside, he appears fined his features giving nothing away. Internally though he’s a mess. He isn’t a stranger to loss and death, but something about it being you is eating him up inside.
Due to his position, no one knew how close you two really were. So to the others he looks fine. Nothing has changed. His mood might seem a little off here and there. But nothing that could alarm anyone to the emotions running rampant in his head.
Late at night he would sneak out to your grave. Just sitting there as he either reads, writes or even just to talk. Something he thinks goes unnoticed, but a few times Mira or Violet have seen him sneak off.
#fourth wing#garrick tavis#the fourth wing#garrick tavis imagine#garrick tavis x reader#fourth wing x reader#fourth wing imagine#xaden riorson x reader#xaden riorson#brennan sorrengail#brennan sorrengail x reader#bodhi durran#bodhi durran x reader#liam mairi#liam mairi x reader
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okay I retract all the jokes I made about everyone doing ivalice over CT raids forever now, I never want to see ridorana in my rouls ever again
#one of those runs that anything that can go wrong WILL go wrong#right from the start with both whms only casting stone iv until their mp was below 500 while all but them and the tank were on the floor#raising the nin and rpr and blm while me (smn) and the rdm were abandoned for further stone iv#until a whm from another alliance took mercy on us and scraped us off the floor#a sge from another alliance somehow put a shield on me because an add was coming for my entire life#and because no OTs were willing to turn on stance the adds ran together and we wiped on the last boss and came close a second time#while me and the rdm and the whm from the other alliance continued to pick people up while my alliance’s whms cast more stone iv#big ol moment of regret wishing i queued tank and my healer friends were there. anyway. goodnight#dani plays ffxiv#game: ffxiv
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which sans aus do i think would believe in climate change challenge GO
horror: really sans (and by extension any classic variant) would believe in climate change due to being former scientists. like what type of scientist DOESN'T believe in climate change. so horror would believe in climate change but he'd be really damn pessimistic about it (because he's an asshole!) like he genuinely wouldn't care at all. sometimes on bad days he purposely litters. on really hot/cold days as a result of climate change he'd complain and start considering bring environmentally friendly. but he never does. horror wouldn't care at all
killer: he would believe in climate change but he similarly to horror wouldn't care. because he simply has more important things to care about (kities :3 nightmare :3) he thinks those things are somehow above climate change (dumbass!!!! nightmare would melt like wax because of climate change) but when faced with the reality that things are actually being affected by climate he'd be like damn.... this shit id actually happening and i'm contributing to it.... but then he'd immediately move on and get back to more important business
dust: climate change believer but he just does not care. like he tries not to be wasteful and litter and he probably properly uses a recycling bin but in the end he doesn't really give a shit if his efforts are really helping. also he kinda forgets sometimes and that's really not helping the globe. dust would bring it up in fights that he recycles and then people (horror an killer) would shit on him for A. being a pretentious stuck up dick who thinks hes better than everyone for being environmental and B. because he's a goddamn hypocrite that doesn't even stick to his own recycling goals. goddamn asshole
nightmare: he's smart enough to know that climate change does exist but he purposely pretends that it isn't real to piss people off (and get those delicious delicious negative emotions :3) and he'd do it so confidently and he'd belittle you so much that either you get so pissed off and irritated at him or you start questioning yourself and if climate change actually IS real? he'd make up fake sources for climate change being fake and site the mtt as his source because they used to be scientists 💀💀
ink: this fella doesn't even know what day of the week it is do you think they would remember climate change??? absolutely not. anyways ink probably has it scrawled down on his scarf: CLIMATE CHANFE EXISTS. IT WILL KILL THE CREATORS/CREATIONS. but then he still doesn't manage to remember it!!!! but if they could genuinely remember everyday i think ink would try to use less earth harmful stuff for his art and try to be environmentally friendly. key word TRY. this is the guy that goes around teleporting and fighting with ink they would litter the substance everywhere
dream: he really really struggled with grappling with the concept that YES climate change exists. YES there is enough trash out there to kill the earth. YES there is not much he can do about it. like every moral dilemma question about climate change was asked by dream (to swap) and he's very upset about climate change prior to maturing. but after maturing he knows that he can't do much to help climate change but he is FERVENTLY environmentally friendly and tries to remind everyone around him to help the earth (without shoving it down their throats because he's nice like that). if dream had the time he would probably start a nonprofit for helping the earth. he would start a nonprofit for everything actually. modern au dream where he has several nonprofit organizations to help various causes. someone out there's gonna love this idea
swap: he does. i think he would make a joke about it at first when being asked like CLIMATE'S CHANGING? I HOPE HER NEW OUTFIT LOOKS GREAT! or some dumbass fucking joke like that but this guy is even more environmentally friendly than dream. he goes to RALLIES for the environment. he would use environmentally friendly soaps and even fucking kitchen utensils. this guy is just here for saving the earth. he wants to really really believe that big corporations don't mean bad with pollution but he knows. theres no convincing himself that big corp wants to save the earth. even someone like swap who always has hope can't convince himself of that shit
cross: he would obviously believe in climate change. i actually don't know if theres someone here that i don't thinm believes in climate change yet. anyways cross would and he'd recycle regularly and try to be good at it. but accidents happen and he messed up his recycling sometimes and then he feels bad for it because the goddamn earth is gonna die if he doesn't at least contribute his part. cross is baffled by people who don't believe in it the same way i am at flat earthers. like HELLOthe rising temperatures are right there!!!!
error: doesn't care. he lives in the antivoid climate change doesn't effect him. also it would just make his job easier :3 error LAUGHS in the face of rising temperatures
now you may ask why did you decide to post this. but what you should really be asking is why not shouldn't i have posted this. the question was clearly on everyone's minds. i was just the only one brave enough to step up and determine if these fictional characters would care about our world melting to death (OBVIOUSLY)
#this may be the most brainrotted dumbass post i've come up with yet#CLIMATE CHANGE??? FUCKING CLIMATE CHANGE???? have i really run out of ideas already#no i havent but GODDAMN i was CACKLING thinking about this#there are definitely more sans aus that i could've considered but no way in hell am i doing all that#YOU CAN COME UP WITH YOUR OWN IDEAS FOR THOSE I FORGOT 😒😒😒#when mtt get into fights they bring up the most irrelevant details about eachother like this. how much do they contribute to climate change#mtt fighting about climate change would be one of the top 10 funniest fights#killer would instantly lose that fight btw because he doesn't even CONSIDER recycling#but dust definitely gets shit on the most in that argument#killer and horror gang up on him because he's a prick. and then horror and dust gang up on killer for not even doing it#and then dust and killer gang up on horror for not making up his mind on environmentalism or not#it's just a big fucking loop of trying to see who's the worst#nightmare would take the objectively wrong stance on ANYTHING just to piss people off and i really love that about him#yessss king go out and be a hater. we needed someone to be the worst person in existence anyways ❤️❤️#this might be my first post about more than just the mtt + nightmare. what the hell????#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans#nightmare sans#ink sans#dream sans#swap sans#cross sans#error sans#murder time trio#bad sanses#star sanses#utmv#sans au#tricule hc
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when i was in highschool one o my biggest coping mechanisms was drawing all the kids i hated getting killed and eaten and killed. and well. time is a slowly ascending spiral. you will find patterns.(i work as a blackjack dealer. gamblers are FASCINATING
#cw blood#luckys original content#ITS SMALL BUT ITS ART SO IT GOES ON THE ART BLOG#also wwaooooww its meee its my lil persona!!! i dont draw myself enough....#anyway i have bigger things in the works. im slowly but surely chipping away at a pd thumbnail for that pd thumbnail project#FINALLY COLORING. BUT COLORING IS SO HARD AND I HAVNT BEEN IN THE COLORING MOOD#SO IVE JUST BEEN MAKING RLY DUMB COMICS INSTEAD... OOPS..#idk if anything finished n polished will be posted here anytime soon. BUT i post wips of everything on my twitter#and i post jrwi exclusive wips on my slucky blog. you may look at those if u have Truck Art Wishdrawls. as many do. as many do#THIS BLACKJACK JOB IS RLY AWESOME BTW DONT GET ME WRONG#i work three 12-hour days ina row. i gotta take an hourlong bus up to the depths o the mountains and then#i get to stay in this delightful lil hotel that was built in an ooold hospital. its a whole casino town. and an OLD one at that#ITS GORGEOUS HERE. last week my bus home was delayed for 2 hours#so i finally got the chance to head to other casinos and try drinkin n gambling. lost ten bucks to a pretty girl. NOT the first time#i rlly wanna try it again!!! i love interracting w ppl and i love being inebriated in public bc im just so sweet and pleasant and friendly#and pretty girls LLOOOOVEE MEEEEE i think i just need to go to gay bars more#but theres fucking NONE HERE. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im collectin comrade queers up here tho#we wanna make a Group but we just gotta come up witha name first. i need something weird and strange#yknow i remember being in highschool. and being miserable n unmedicated. my mommas ultimatum was that;#if i dont drop out of highschool; i dont need to move out. she probably wouldntve kicked me out anyway bc my mommas sweet like that but#she REALLY wanted me to graduate. and i remember dreading that i might never do that#i remember feeling like the Resident Idiot. sweet but so so fucking dumb. it took me 7 years of strife n stress before i finally graduated#i remember worrying back then that i might not ever be able to handle myself out there. that i'd be too dependant on others#AND HERE I AM. DID U KNOW I WAS LOOKIN AT HOUSES A WHILE AGO? IM AN ADULT AND IM WWINNINNNGGGGGGG#IM RUNNING OUTA ROOM BUT HERES MY ADVICE TO YOU. BC I KNOW UR FUCKING SCARED TOO. THE ONE THING THAT SAVED ME.#THAT KEPT ME FROM SINKING INTO DESPAIR IS REMEMBERING ONE THING: ITS LITERALLY JUST LIKE VIDEO GAMES#MOST PPL YOU CAN JUST WALK UP TO N ASK A QUESTION N THEYLL ANSWER. THEYRE ALL NPCS THEYRE NOT REAL#LIKE IF U WALK INTO A BANK AND ASK HOW A DEBIT CARD WORKS THEY WILL HELP YOU#AND IF YOU THINK THEY HAVE ULTERIOR MOTIVES RELATING TO MONEY. YOU CAN ASK THE CUSTOMERS TOO. ITS JUST LIKE VIDEO GAMES#ANYWAY STAY SAFE KIDS HAVE FUNNNNN. IM GOING TO GO DO DRUGS NOW. HOPE U CAN DO DRUGS SOON TOO. I LOVE YOU
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ok so i've speculated on what kind of home environment[s] mimuro and mei might have before but like the kind of home environment that produces people who just like lie like that. well. smiles.
#to be clear i do think he was being serious when he said that i don't think mimuro is running around with the intention to abandon nisei--#let alone at such a critical moment but like ough agh...................#like mimuro kind of is a patently unreliable person who builds himself up as an authourity figure with absolutely zero follow through#or seemingly any investment in following through#he's one of the few units we never see casting any kind of spell#like he does not want to be here he's just maintaining an image. smiles.#i think it's really funny that that's the sort of person nisei would allow himself any sort of passive attachment to also lmao#like this noncommital asshole when we know what nisei's home life is like like............#it's just what's comfortable for a person like nisei i think.#someone with the illusion of power that he can attach to but who isn't willing to actually wield it over him#and someone who's too caught up in their own head to properly attach to him which is familiar to him#and he also doesn't have to worry (in his head) if they do abandon him because it wasn't real anyway so whatever#i do think mimuro loves nisei. i do but i have no idea if nisei knows this and if he does i don't think regardless of anything he feels--#for mimuro that he's above using those feelings to manipulate him.#but i do think it's interesting that he does show at least a passive investment in mimuro's safety. not even in like a shippy way i just--#think that like. idk nisei cares about people and what they think of him a lot more than he lets on#and i do think he cares about mimuro and if mimuro shows up again i think he's going to be mad at him for abandoning him#even though SIGH like mimuro isn't wrong. in that like breaking things off with nisei is objectively the best move for mei (and his own)--#safety but he's also literally nisei's only like. support network. in any capacity. and i do think that like soubi nisei probably has--#some amount of abandonment issues though obvs probably not as bad as soubi's but that's like. soubi's child abuse tulpa vs nisei's child--#neglect tulpa ethos innit...........#it's sooooo ourhgh......... curls up in a little ball and dies. anyway.
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just venting
i mean whats the end goal for any of them
the politicians, the rich
to start a world war? to cause an uprising? an economic collapse? an unlivable planet? chaos?
bc thats whats going to happen
everything is being stretched so fucking thin that they will have nothing left for themsleves, they will have destroyed everything and then what??
wait until the last possible minute to either die from natural causes, vices, or kill yourself??
like what is the end goal? world domination? (im talking about the rich and politicians in general)
bc if its power that only goes so far. same with money.
even if you enslaved the whole world it wouldnt last. it cant it just is literally impossible
this kind of shit is finite, being a terrible person has a limit
they want to feel so powerful but is there an end?
but i guess they literally are just riding the wave until they die.
i just cant wrap my head around it
and its so fucking hard to give up. i want to give up so bad and just stop caring and just focus on whatever i want and get in that shitty richy politician mindset
because i dont believe in accountability after death, but i cant.
even with the anger and wanting these people dead and this strong beyond words feeling of hate for them i still cant fathom and understand the hate they have for everyone who isnt them or like them
if they all dropped dead im celebrating
but if i had a choice between them changing all of a sudden and them dropping dead id choose change
how does someone become like them how does that hate and anger grow so much that it practically oozes out their pores
i cant help but not give up and i cant help but have hope
their ways are not sustainable and everything is already breaking and i hope it breaks soon like full on. whatever that means
#because all thats happening right now is trying to hold together a cracked dam#just pull the fucking walls down#anyway i really hope enough people dont vote for biden#i obviously dont want trump#but there needs to be SOME consequences to his actions#there needs to be SOMETHING#i saw a little girl dead still holding a piece of bread in her hand#i saw half a baby#the terrorizing in ukraine the terrorizing in sudan the congo palestine#its too much it hasnt felt this much before#like everyday every hour is like#is bisan still alive? is motaz? is wael?#and i dont want to be one of those people that like#yknow. talks about how the Opression of others affects them#bc i never know how it sounds when i vent like does it seem like im making it about me or is it just venting#its just everytime I eat everytime i run water from the tap everytime i turn on the heat or watch a funny video i cant stop thinking of wha#is happening. and i mean i always have that problem in cold and hot weather with houseless people.#but it feels wrong to witness and it feels wrong to not think or remember#im not going to change anything as an individual. and im doing what i can but it just feels like#idk.#it just feels bad being able to vent and then just#go and scroll#like change the topic reblog a soybean rat#ugh
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#someone i know and kinda dislike (still friend group) is having a pool party birthday#and ive gone to enough of those this summer already so i wasnt gonna go but my best friends are both going and they want me to also#and one of them never leaves the house so i kinda wanna be there#but someone who used to be my best friend will also be there and we had a fallout when i overdosed last winter so i dont wanna see them#and the birthday girl - i dated her ex right before they started dating and i hooked up with her right when they broke up#i didnt do anything wrong lol k and i have history its chill but birthday girl is the type to be salty about that#ughgdhg its not even that complicated i just have severe fomo and cant stand not being at everything#and i cant even show up just to be there i feel like i have get crazy and look amazing if i go and i dont have that energy#full gig day yesterday and today#and i can never eat or sleep when i have gigs i run on adreneline and nausea#im probabbly gonna go and end up getting wasted so whatever just rant#i just dont wanna say anythign to people who will be there so this is a tumblr and not instagram cf story rant
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Looks up wikihow for what to do when you realize your office has 5x the amount of budget of every other executive office combined
#fun fact the president gets the least! reaffirming the idea they do jack shit#maybe i shouldnt condemn gabby to that but also sorry maam you are not being evpsa as long as our nepo baby linenof succession#has anything to say about it 😔😔 maybe you could be dod one day#like i am the outlier that only happened because the ACTUAL nepo baby backed out last minute#so they had to speedrun my nepo babiness#anyways the genuine nepo baby route (me) is one i’d like to aboid because as one of the people involved it sucks !!!!!#anyways sorry abt my boss telling you could do it even though youve already been elected to senate and my boss terms out in 3 days!#(and ????????????)#but thats a conversation i dont want to have so it will be unsaid unless you talk to me ! sorry i will be prioritizing those whove been here#and doing the work for 2+ years i think thats actually how this is Supposed to work when you don’t make all your core staff seniors @my boss#i’ll be real they were insane for that like im insane for swinging the exavt opposite way but ALL YOUR CORE STAFF???? you left your juniors#in the fucking DUST man now you have nepo baby times and everyones like but you can do it SHUT UP im a nepo baby#to be fair its good we didn’t fast track the person we did bc WHEW issues but the thing is the person who got left with all these issues is#ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! not any of the people whove been dealing with them for 3+ years so THANKS IG!!!!!!!!!#some ppl really dont grow up with the ideals of making sure you are leaving something for those after you huh like dont get me wrong#the work we DO considers those who comes after us bc thats how advocacy works but our OFFICE has none of that in terms of like#staff and stuff like some of the staff choices this year were 😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫 everyone went into fall confused as hell#bc WHO TF WAS GOING TO RUN like even before i was properly involved THIS ISSUE EXISTED !!! you guys just got lucky i existed#and lucky that im a pushover that does whatever those around me tell me too like i am remembering i DIDNT WANT THIS JOB!!!! it took both#the person i consider my mentor and the person who i consider who i want to be when i grow up telling me to do it b4 i even considered it#so DONT TELL RANDOS THEY CAN HAVE A PLACE IN (MY) OFFICE!!! I HAVE ENOUGH PROBLEMS RIGHT NOW!!! do you know what a bitch hiring is going 2 b#anyways :’) can everyone tell i am So Excited for this job :’)) if it turns out we’ve had a budget of 300k this WHOLE TIME like#i had been SAYING WE DID bc its my JOB to Know it and it was THERE and we’ve been acting like we had 150 i’ll lose it#v.txt
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