#one of the few art things i would get myself to actually finish throughout the entire year

[meamiiikiii]

kagepro day...

[bloodyinkandquill]

Venomshank x Reader helping to raise Sword

hehehehe, im doing a request for katz-ke ehehhehehe, you don’t know how i screamed at my friend over discord when you liked my art and then how i had to contain my crazed giggles while making myself dinner, anyways into the actual stuff

- You never thought you’d have a kid, you sure as hell didn’t wanna give up year gear and you weren’t so sure on adoption, but now raising a baby with a literal deity, it doesn’t seem so bad

- You had come to meet Venomshank very soon after he took in Sword, you got along well and when you met Sword for the first time you thought he was just the cutest thing, one thing led to another and now you his partner, living with him and helping in the care of his adoptive son

- Sword could be a handful, sometimes, making a mess with his food, being fussy about naps, but it was all worth it to help out the one you loved, every time you took over Sword’s care so he could get some rest he peppered your face with kisses before putting his mask back on, unfortunately due to Venomshank’s godly duties there were times that you had to take care of Sword for a few days by yourself, but whenever he returned he thanked you so profusely and kissed you till you were giggling, he took over taking care of his son letting you get some well needed rest

- He preferred to have his mask off so he could kiss you and little Sword easier but he was afraid of going feral when it was off, you did your best to reassure him but he was still uneasy about having it off for too long, you understood why he was so cautious, one time where it happens without his mask on and he runs the risk of loosing you and his son, so you never asked him to keep it off when he was worried

- As Sword grew older Venomshank definitely took over more of the care of him, preparing him to be his apprentice and mentee, though for the time he was just a small kid with too much energy and one tired mortal parent, you did have to explain a few mortal things to Venomshank, since he is the deity to spend the most time around demons he knows the most about them but there was still a few things you had to educate him on, especially in raising a child

- Even if Sword could be quite the handful sometimes, it was all worth it for the soft moments, your favorite memory of the three of you was Sword babbling on about stuff when he asked you to dance with him, you did the typical dancing with a small child thing where you softly grabbed his hands and rocked up and down, then Venomshank found you two and laughed at the interaction before asking you if you’d like to dance, even with no music you had a sweet and tender time dancing around holding each other close, Sword then bumped in saying he wanted to dance too so you all three held hands in a silly manor bouncing about, it was such a domestic and wholesome moment that you cherished heavily

- As Sword began his training you mainly just took care of his food and hygiene, making the both of them a nice meal to return to after they finished, Sword was still young but old enough to at least begin learning how to wield his blade he was named after, on rare occasion Sword would get injured, maybe a scrape or small cut but you being the more gentle and softer of the two Venomshank would let you handle it cooing quietly at the boy as you cleaned it up telling him he was so brave for it, Venomshank appreciated it greatly, since he didn’t have an amazing grasp on the severity of injuries he worried he’d over react and possibly scare Sword, something he absolutely never wanted to do

- Throughout everything Venomshank had remained as loving and sweet to you as the day you got together, you couldn’t help but feel yourself fall more in love with him as time went on, he was everything you could have asked for, sure Sword was not part of your original plan but you wouldn’t trade any of it for the world

hehehehe hope you enjoyed, again like i’ve stated a million times if anyone reading wants general venomshank x reader hcs let me know i will happily oblige, i love venomshankkkk

[becauseimanicequeen]

Jin is Not a Flat Character

I debated (with myself) whether or not to get into this discussion that’s been flaring up a lot lately (especially on X), and then just realized I had to get it out of my head. So, here we are…

I won’t be addressing the whole pre-release trailer thing because I’ve seen enough of them and then their series to know that A LOT can change from that initial trailer to the finished product. I always take pre-release trailers with a whole jar of salt. So, I just feel like it would be a waste of time and space to get into that.

Instead, I will look at Jin from the perspective of someone who used to be a fantasy author (before I realized my calling was visual art). So, let me start by establishing some aspects of character creation.

Let’s start with the pair flat vs round characters since “flat” is the aspect I’ve seen many define Jin as:

Flat characters: They often typify one major character trait (e.g., good, evil, funny, smart, etc.) and have no depth.

Round characters (or multi-dimensional characters): They have several traits that are evident, have multiple layers, and are most like real people when it comes to complex personalities. They also have more complex and developed backstories than flat characters (but this doesn’t mean a fully detailed backstory since that can become redundant, it’s more about highlighting the important parts).

Then there’s another pair of opposing aspects that are important, static vs dynamic characters:

Static characters: They don’t experience any major emotional or mental changes throughout the story. You could say that they feel like the same character at the end of a story as they do at the beginning.

Dynamic characters: They experience emotional and/or mental changes throughout the story, which leads them to become different persons/characters. There’s an evident change in who they are at the end of the story compared to who they were at the beginning. This change is often positive (but doesn’t have to be).

A character can be flat and static, round and static, or round and dynamic (I don’t think I’ve ever come across a character that’s flat and dynamic because, logically, those would cancel each other out).

Another pair of aspects I would like to mention is passive vs active characters:

Passive characters: They don’t do much to further the plot. They don’t have any goals and motivations (at least none that matter to the story).

Active characters: Their actions are what keep the plot rolling. They have goals and motivations that drive their actions (and those usually matter to the story).

Flat and static and round and static characters are usually passive characters because they have no or very few goals and motivations, whereas round and dynamic characters can have many complex ones and are, most often, active characters.

To summarize Jin quickly before I present the actual “evidence” of what we’ve seen so far in DFF, I would say that Jin is a round and dynamic character who is monthly active (but has also shown to be passive, depending on the circumstances). This is far from being flat.

But let’s get into the good stuff, the “evidence”:

What We Know and Have Seen of Jin

These bullet points are based on what we’ve seen from episodes 1-11):

Jin is a character with romantic/idealistic views, which could be linked to his artistic soul (since he’s into photography). I feel like some of his actions can be explained by him having an artistic soul.

He lives in a big house that feels remote. Every time we’ve seen him there (so far), he’s been alone (no family members around). I would presume this is common in Jin’s life as he could bring Phee over and have sex against a window for everyone outside to see without Jin being bothered about it.

He stands up to the others (arguably half-heartedly) when they bully Non.

We’ve also seen his reactions several times whenever Non was mentioned after his disappearance. Jin seems far from as unbothered and casual about it as the others who just want to brush it off.

When he develops feelings, they go deep (seen with both Non and Phee).

Reciprocation is important to him as well since he chose not to do anything with Non (even though he liked him) because he knew Non had a boyfriend. It shows up with Phee as well. Jin is the one who suggests Phee stay the night, but he does so after Phee brings him to the lake and shares the significance of that place with Jin (suggesting that Phee made the first move).

He prefers clear communication when there are feelings involved (as shown when he asks Phee what they are to each other).

He clearly connects feelings with sex considering how quickly he got attached to Phee and wanted to know their relationship status.

There’s, at the very least, a sliver of jealousy in him considering how he reacted when he saw Non kiss another boy’s cheek (Phee’s).

He’s emotional and ends up making rash decisions and mistakes in the heat of the moment (e.g., the video).

When in a heated situation, he’s usually the one making an effort to calm it down (like when Non threatened Tee/the group and several times during the whole situation when the gun switched ownership between Fluke, Tee, and Phee).

He doesn’t mind jumping in to defend people, even when they’re being threatened at gunpoint.

These are just a few points off the top of my head. But it shows that we still know a lot about him even though his backstory isn’t as explicitly shown as, for example, Non’s, Phee’s, or Tan/New’s.

Now, let’s look at Jin from the aspects of character creation I wrote about above.

Flat vs Round, Static vs Dynamic, and Passive vs Active

First and foremost, Jin displays several traits and characteristics. He’s friendly, naive, emotional, desperate to be close to someone (possibly because he feels neglected), selfish at times, selfless at other times, impulsive, helpful, courageous at times, etc. This is not the mark of a flat character.

He also experiences emotional and mental changes throughout the episodes we’ve seen so far. If we look at the timeline of the series chronologically (starting with 3 years in the past), Jin seems open and friendly, his romantic/idealistic views are intact (which are shown when he, for example, stands up for Non against the bullies), and he clearly has good feelings for Non.

At the present point in the series (when they’re back at the house in the woods), he’s a lot more closed off (due to what happened to Non and his own part in that as well as the way Phee treated him in the past), his idealistic views are not as intact (he’s gotten used to liars, even told a fair few himself, to the point that he’s not very surprised when Phee confesses about who he and Tan really are), and rather than having good feelings for Non, he’s weighed down by the guilt of his part in Non’s downfall.

Even though these are some examples that illustrate his turn for the worse (or is it?), it’s still a mark of a dynamic character rather than a static one. If he’d still been the naive, idealistic, happy person after all the shit that’s gone down the past 3 years of his life, I would’ve been scared for him (or of him, because that’s just semi-sociopathic behavior). Luckily, Jin has grown to realize that the world isn’t always as great as he might’ve thought and how destructive his own rash decisions can be.

We’ve also been shown time and time again that Jin’s role in the story is important (and bigger than some upset viewers would lead you to believe):

Jin was the one who convinced Non to write the screenplay for the movie.

He defended Non (arguably half-heartedly).

He convinced Non to finish the movie (arguably manipulated him out of selfish desires).

He filmed the video of Non and Keng.

He lied about Non’s disappearance to the police (but, I mean, who would want to cooperate with those corrupt fuckers?).

And he is the one who’s trying to calm down the messy and heated situation at the house (together with what we’ve seen recently of Phee).

This is not a small role. It’s not an insignificant role. He’s the one who took away Non’s parachute in the middle of his tragic downfall, escalating the whole thing. That’s no passive character waiting for things to happen.

And, on the subject of his actions, we can also see his motivations behind them (without having a fully-blown background story).

For one, his romantic/idealistic views are what led him to get angry (alternatively felt betrayed) when he saw Non with Keng and decided to film the video (yes, it was a decision of his, and it turned out to be one of his biggest mistakes). He makes an active decision and he has a motivation for it.

He later finds out how the spread of that video (which he filmed) affected Non (when he threatened them at the house). Jin has felt guilty ever since (which makes him a better person than some of the others). The fact that he actually shows remorse when he talks to Phee about this shows that he has grown and hopefully learned not to make rash decisions based on his emotions (his reaction to Phee’s rejection, for example, is to stonewall Phee rather than hurt him, which is a step forward). A flat and static character wouldn’t grow this much.

As I mentioned above, I feel like some of his actions can be explained by him having an artistic soul. One of them is that he can see the beauty in the mundane (even in the things that others see as ugly). We can take Non as an example.

All the others call him greasy. They think he’s disgusting. Jin, though, is fascinated by him. In one scene, we see him look at Non through Por’s new camera (with heart-eyes, I might add). In another scene, he stares at Non as if spellbound. This could further explain his attachment to Non and his desire to keep Non close.

Another action that can be explained by Jin having an artistic soul is that he knew exactly which buttons to push with Non when he convinced him to stay and finish the film.

Artists of all kinds know what it’s like to be attached to their work (I’m speaking from personal experience). Jin pointing this out to Non (knowing that Non has an artistic soul just like Jin) could’ve been unintentional since he might’ve spoken from his own experience, but it could’ve also been an ace in his sleeve to keep Non close (for selfish reasons).

These are only a few examples of all the facets of Jin’s character, yet, I feel like it’s quite clear that Jin is far from flat. He’s a round, dynamic, and (mostly) active character who plays a big role in the series.

Jin is just as much a main character as Non or Phee (to mention a few) because he’s always had a very central part of the story.

Conclusion

Is Jin a flat character? Absolutely not.

Could he have been developed more (at least up until the 11th episode that we’ve seen)? Yes. Just like White and Top.

(I saw somewhere that someone commented that Sammon had said that her regret was not having developed Jin more, but this is just hearsay, so take it with a pinch of salt.)

But do we need Jin to be more developed? Not really.

We don’t need a full-length backstory for every character to understand them. I believe that characters should be able to stand by their actions without needing a backstory to explain them. And that’s exactly the case with Jin.

He doesn’t need a sob story to make him feel human, like, for example, Por (even though I really, really, really don’t want to admit that Por has, a teeny, tiny, itty, bitty, microscopical sliver of humanity in him). Jin doesn’t need a fully developed backstory like Tee because he wasn’t the kind of asshole Tee was (even though Jin’s mistake was big too). Jin’s actions and motivations are shown through the character itself rather than told through the backstory.

Just because your expectations of a character weren’t met doesn’t mean they’re flat or badly written. Just because you want Jin to have a bigger role doesn’t mean he has a small one. Just because you want to see more of Jin’s backstory doesn’t mean he’s underdeveloped if you don’t get more. Just because you aren’t explicitly told/shown Jin’s backstory and reasons for doing what he does doesn’t mean it’s not there. Sometimes you just have to read between the lines.

Because it is there.

[messydiabolical]

@dandenbo asked me for the art asks: 🎠What is a typical 'workflow' for a piece from idea to finished? It turns out to be a long answer so here's its own post, under the cut to save your dash! How I go from screenshot to painting: (This is not intended to be a 'this is how you do it!' kind of guide. I absolutely don't do an optimal route, this is just how I go about painting and what works for me! I've done a workflow for a screenshot to painting as I do a few different things but this is one I could explain somewhat coherently. My comics tend to be created pretty chaotically lol)

1) I take an ungodly amount of screenshots while playing. Also pester friends for their screenshots or stalk the group discord for interesting shots.

2) Go through all those screenshots cursing why I took so many, looking for those great moments that I want to paint. I’m particularly looking for nice poses/captivating moments, dynamic lighting or interesting expressions, and they don’t need to have all 3 as we can fix some of that in the next step. Here’s the screenshot I chose for my Keahi x Thane piece:

It was a cute, soft moment between them and I liked the highlight at the edge of their profiles. 3) Refine the screenshot. I don’t use anything fancy for this. I game on windows PC, so I open up the screenshot with windows photo editor. I crop the image, play around with saturation, exposure, contrast, just basic editing until it looks tastier. For this piece I wanted it to be hyper colourful and vibrant, leaning towards warmer tones.

4) Decide what I will change, then gather references for those changes. In this case I was fortunate that not a lot needed changing. I knew I wanted to move Thane’s eye position to looking at Keahi rather than the way he is slightly off focus, do a more realistic ear with earrings for Keahi, make Thane a little more smiley and lower his eyelid and give Keahi nicer eyelashes. I keep a whole bunch of art guides and tutorials on my PC so I grabbed the necessary ones and sent them to my ipad ready to have on hand for the sketch stage. I have Thane’s character model in XNApose, so I can check things like his eyelid specifically in that (this is actually for a different project but shows you what I mean)

If I was going to change up the lighting/shading I would also gather references for that. For example sometimes i’ll take screenshots of lighting schemes I love from films/tv shows (think the strong teal and orange scheme in Mad Max or the neons of Blade Runner). Or for precise shadows, I can again use XNApose. I also have a little 3d printed Thane head I can shine a torch at and take photos of to get shadow ideas. For humans there’s lots of reference to be found with online searches, I find pinterest more useful than google for this. For specific expressions or body parts, i’ll just take photos of myself (hand poses, smiling from the right angle etc.) My camera roll is an interesting place. I have drawn drell frills on my neck and on my chest before to see how the lines would fold at certain angles. 5) Setting up a canvas I work in procreate. For a piece like this I try to go pretty big, say 5000 x 4000 pixels, then i’ll crop down later as needed. 300 DPI. As I work, I’ll make duplicates and continue on the copy each fresh session. When i’m finished I make a backup save of the PNG and .procreate files on an SSD. I immediately turn the background colour down to a more muted colour to not burn my retinas. If i’m using a textured background like an oil board i’ll insert it, and any overlays like canvas effects. Set up my layers from the start basically for easy toggling throughout. I try to be good and label things to make life easier, it doesn’t always happen though. I don't wear a digital glove or use paper effect screens but I do have a bottle of screen cleaner and a microfibre cloth handy at all times. 6) Sketch. I’m still very much learning to draw. I tried for a long time to do the classic ‘ball for a head, draw the planes/lines etc. It was a constant struggle and never clicked for me, the ball especially always made things much worse, turning a circle into a 3d image in my head just does not happen. I find it better to just start drawing and work things out as I go (I use procreates reference window to see my screenshot). So I’ll have my sketch in one canvas, and i’ll also have a second canvas with the photo ref on it at the same size, and if I feel like something is really wonky and off i’ll test my lines over the photo to see what’s gone wrong, then go back to the sketch and correct the areas that revealed. Sometimes I’ll use the grid feature if i’m getting stuck.  Here's a few of the sketch stages:

Here I tried out the lines on the photo and noticed that Thane’s frills were a little too far to the left, and Keahi’s eyebrow needed to arch down towards the nose.In the next pass I correct these:

Also, and I know i’m gonna get side eye from some people for this but I really could not care less to be honest. On some pieces i’ll just trace the screenshot. Sometime I just want to get to painting, am not in the mood or mindspace for a learning experience, and this is a hobby. It’s my screenshot, no one is getting ripped off. My latest Javik piece was done this way 🤷‍♂️ 6) Painting. I’ll start by blocking in the background and the portrait flats, usually on separate layers. I try to have an idea of the background colour from the start as this can effect the whole piece overall, but sometimes you just gotta change it as you go so having it on a different layer makes this much easier.

The painting itself I’ll lay down wider areas of colours, then start going in and refining bit by bit, I tend to work on one area at a time, and sometimes I’ll get pretty well rendered on a small area before moving on, other times work on a wider area. It really depends on my mood and what i’m vibing with that day. Like you can see here I’ve done some general messy colouring all over Keahi, but done a lot of refinement on the eyeball:

7) Finshing the piece, uploading and testing: When I’m sick of rendering the painting and don’t think I can add anything more to it without gnawing my own wrist off, it is time to finish up! I make sure I toggle all the layers I want on, add a top signature layer (lol I lie I forget this all the damn time). Then i’ll upload the piece to my google drive and open it up on my big 4k monitor on my PC, and on my phone, and see how it looks (my ipad is a 9.7inch air). I find that once off my ipad, it often looks a little less saturated and contrasting as it does in procreate. So I might go back and change the levels if it’s too big a difference until it looks decent across devices (it’ll never look perfect on them all though, just gotta find that happy medium).

8) Posting online I really don’t have any strict steps for this. I know some people go for optimal posting times, and will make multiple copies of their pieces in different sizes to fit better on different sites (damn you instagram and your need for everything to be square). I… do not do any of this lol. I post when I’m done whatever time or day that is. I do tend to reblog/retweet etc before I go to bed, as I live in the UK and that will at least be getting into evening time in US. I reblog my own stuff a fair bit.

[datrb]

2023 art review!

Even if this year wasn't the biggest on art, due to my physical condition (especially in last couple of months), it would still be nice to look back on what i did as an artist throughout it!

This is gonna be a fun ride...

So, let's dive straight into it, shall we?

Continuation under the cut

January

2023 started on a high note, with me just having finished the King piece, and moving on to the next big thing, being an AvA3/5 double piece.

Sadly, during the process i messed up big time which led to me being unable to finish the piece the way i wanted to, rendering this project an eternal WIP. However, i still cherish the idea and do wish to either redraw, or complete it.

February

Doing 2 big projects one after another did end up affecting my overall drive, so i spent majority of that month just making sketches.

First one is a little redraw/redesign of my old character - Derek, whom i used for a roleplay with my friends like 3 or 4 years ago, and second one is Deach, a character from my fantasy setting.

Also, back then i joined a new fandom, people in which have reminded me of my admiration for SCP, after which me and my friends proceeded to make OCs for it. Was a fun time! (Also this access card was sold by me as a YCH, sadly i couldn't really find buyers, so yikes)

March

By march is slowly started recovering from january's disappointement and was a bit more productive already. One of my friends really helped with it too.

A musician friend of mine reached out to me, asking to develop a design for a villain character in the plot he was working on. After listening to the theme song i couldn't resist. This ended up being one of my favorite designs so far, and i adore its look in neon.

In the meantime, i kept working on my fantasy setting, refining more minor details of designs and stories, yet having to reserve only to making sketches as i was too busy with college and other projects. Characters you see on screen are Ian and Lanfor respectfully. One is a strong yet troubled mage and other is a great Emperor, and even better person.

April

I'd say april was one of the most productive months of this year, mostly because i managed to snatch some time for myself and my setting, which allowed me to complete two full pieces and achieve some extreme progress with my story.

This piece is an illustration to a scene i wrote for two of the characters, Lanfor and Emile, called "Night Visitor". This was a scene of a reunion of two old friends. A bittersweet, yet a lovely work. Love both the written one as well as the illustration.

This one was more of a... Proof of concept. Needed to test out the expresiveness of the design for one or a relatively new characters - Covlar. Was originally a simple sketch on paper, but i couldn't resist the urge of making it into a complete illustration. I then proceeded to make a few notes for this scene. Both want to write it properly and avoid it at all cost... Best to avoid it, for my own sanity.

May

May was a bit of trainwreck, because i got a brand new laptop, which took me quite some time to get used to and even more time to reassure myself that it is in fact alright for me to draw on this suspicioiusly thin piece of tech.

Ironically enough, the only vomplete piece i drew that month was drawn on my old laptop. This screenshot redraw was to made to honour the premiere of AvA6 ep.1. Sadly, i did it a bit late because fo technical issues, but i still had a ton of fun doing it.

June

June was... Chaotic, to say the least. Mostly because i finally got comfortable with the new laptop and could now draw a lot more freely due to it being a lot more compact than the original one, which worked almost like a PC. Besides, i got a ton more free time because semester finals ended up being a breeze.

Ended up making a ton sketches and doodles, that i didn't actually plan to finish, but still enjoyed a ton. Here are some of them

Then, ofc, the memes and the gand redesign, because AvA6 just had to break all of my portrayals. But, i mean, after AvM s3 my original designs did become a bit dated.

The biggest pride and saddest of failures was this picnic piece, however. I still plan on finishing it, but it is hard doing so, when i have changed quite a bit of my artstyle by now.

July

July was quite lazy. Semester ended and i spent that entire month out of the city. It was a great time, very peaceul indeed.

And again, that musician friend from before came into clutch, asking me to develop another design for his other project. And again a villain. He said he really liked how i draw bastard type of characters.

August

Well this is where fun began. End of summer break means i have just this much time to actually draw something i would never have time to draw normally.

For me to draw something to commemorate a new episode is almost like a tradition at this point. And, given how long it's been since i made anything that would require effort, no wonder i have chosen arguably the most complex piece to pull off energy-wise. Yet i did and now i simply adore this piece, even if it did render me disabled. (I crunched through all of this piece, pulling off 40+ hours of work in just 4 days, so naturaly it ended up worsening my condition by a lot)

Then i also proceeded to do all of these tiny side projects, like Victim ask, which i couldn't last long at due to my condition, and working on a design for my favourite streamer. (Which i cannot show as the work is not complete an it's best if i avoid spoilers)

September and October

These two months i spent being unable to draw at all via a doctor's advice. Arguably, these two were the hardest months for me to handle.

I assume you can imagine how hard it is to suddenly stop being able to do what you love, regardless of how much you wish to do it.

Novemer

*Nervous laughter* I... actually still wasn't allowed to use my hand, but that didn't stop me and i ended up making an entire series of sketches to celebrate AvA6 ep2.

"Small in big quantity will sure be less exhausting than a single big thing" - (C) Me, proably

I will admit, i still adore all of these sketches and each of them deserves to become a fully fledged piece in it's own right, but i really better keep them as they are. For my own safety.

December

As you way have expected, this month will stay without a single thing from me. It's not because i don't want to, but because i can't. And, given the circumstance, it better stay that way.

Afterword

I finally got my diagnosis and soon enough i will start active treatment for my condition. It would be a shame to make this worse than it already is with impulses like those that happened in november, so i am making this post as a way to draw a line for myself.

It is still kinda crazy to realize that there are quite a few people interested in what i make, so i will make sure to take my recovery as responcible as possible, and then come back to you with even more art in the upcoming year! Let's be positive about it.

[after-nine-at-the-oasis]

Ignore that this is a day late (and I'll probably backdate it later) but!

Happy HSMTMTS Appreciation Week :DD!!

Day 1 - Favorite Character

I love them all that I really would be hard pressed to rank them. But, admittedly, Carlos and Seb are at the top lol. Them I couldn't choose between.

However, I currently have walking pneumonia, and while it may keep me walking, it does not keep me able to make posts easily xD. So, I'm going to share a bit of a WIP I started over a year ago and never finished. I wanted to at least start a Seblos fic before season 4 started, as I'd always meant to but never gotten around to it. Both of their characters are immensely important to me, together and separate. I know this seems more fitting for ship day but also consider: I don't care :p. Also, quickly, I'll share a few things a love or relate to about some of the characters.

Kourtney: Love seeing representation of anxiety, especially surrounding college stuff - that's so relatable 😭. And I love that it while it was ongoing, she did eventually find what she wanted (and stuff that helped her anxiety) - even if it took a few tries.

Ashlyn: Absolutely loved seeing her queer journey. As a bi person myself, it was amazing :'). And seeing Carlos welcome her into the community was just <3. Also, I love seeing her confidence grow throughout the show!

EJ: Love that he wasn't the villain forever! I adore EJ, and I'm glad they showed that redemption is totally possible

Gina: So happy to see different lights on her ambition - sometimes bad, sometimes good, but never forget those who are important to you <3. Love that.

Big Red: Another bi realization!! Not happy with how it happened (and I will stay in denial about how it was genuinely accidental or a cheek kiss or something until the day I die), but glad it did, and that he and Ashlyn stayed together for a while after it happened - bi doesn't mean you immediately leave your partner to be gay. Also, Big Red is a really great friend and I love that :').

Ricky: Love seeing the outsider to theatre perspective! Same goes for Big Red. It's such a crazy thing to be thrust into lol. But also, seeing how entrenched and happy he becomes in it and its traditions by the end of the show is :').

Nini: I love that she knows her own worth, and also has to take a minute to find what's best for her. Arts school? Nah, not at the moment. East High? For a bit, and then things changed. Music on her own? Yeah, maybe :'). I do wish she could've been there at the end but in my mind she was <3.

Seb: I honestly love that he gets to be the innocent one and that's okay. As a long-time innocent one (even if I do actually know things just don't talk about/do them lol), it's nice to see him being accepted :'). And of course, the queer representation <3. I'll talk more about that during favorite ship, but especially seeing Seb play with gender presentation is so amazing ❤️.

Carlos: I'm so glad they explicitly said he was bullied, because while I agree that HSMTMTS is overall a positive show and don't want it to be bogged down all the time by negative stuff like that, it's so important to acknowledge. And that going from that, he found his family in theatre :'). Even though he worried that they wouldn't accept him, even though he might've participated before (a common headcanon) and just didn't have it as much, he found it. And again with the ambition - it's not a bad thing to be ambitious :). And, like I've said, the queer representation <33.

Maddox: Not an OG but I don't care :). Once again, love the queer representation, but I also just totally relate to the "too much, too loud" worry. You have great moments with people and then it's "yeah! Cool. . See you next time :')". I'm so glad she found her family <3.

Jet: Also not an OG but again, I don't care :). Another point for redemption, but also that stuff is complicated. He hurt Maddox, even if he didn't intend to, and that's just how it is sometimes. You have to try and do better, and he does :'). Although she also does have to readjust some things, which I love <3. Also just his mistrust of the theatre family - so real, but I'm glad they stick together :').

Emmy: Again not an OG, but I don't care :). I love her silliness and creepiness lol. But also, I so relate to that "younger siblings" energy. And the "I'm trying to hold it together for everyone", especially "I'm trying to hold it together but I'm the young one and I shouldn't have to do this". I've been putting my soul into theatre for years, through some rough times, and I just totally feel her <3.

Mr. Mazzara: Another point for redemption! Also I'm glad he acknowledges later on that he shouldn't have let his personal stuff influence stuff he did or said (in a bad way). It happens to the best of us and it sucks but I love that he acknowledges it :').

Miss Jenn: Feeling lost. My gosh, feeling lost. So relatable. It's terrifying because you have a dream and you want so badly to achieve it, but you also know that you can "fail" and get sent on a totally different path. And that's terrifying. But I'm glad that, after everything, she's happy :'). I so love to see that she doesn't need her big dreams, realizes that while she didn't fail, she's happy just where she is :'). That's okay <3.

Okay those got longer than I thought I'd be up for but yay!! Lastly, I just love that it's about theatre. That they're all involved, some way, with theatre. I know I didn't include side characters but trust me I love them all <3. And I love seeing the different ways everyone is involved in theatre, their different roles and niches and experience levels. It's so great to see, and to see my process, our process, that I'm so familiar with reflected on screen is honestly really important to me :').

Anyway :'D! An excerpt from that fic, now :).

For context, the prompt I was given by my sibling for this fic was something about Seb and a tractor (maybe they specified a broken arm or tractor crash, I really don't remember lol. It was like, exactly a year ago sldkgs). I'm honestly still really proud of these chat sections lol.

Without further ado, enjoy!

~

seb <3: it’s broken

carlos <3: AND YOU’RE PROBABLY OKAY???

carlos <3: seb oh my gosh 😭

carlos <3: are you okay??

seb <3: my arm’s broken lol

carlos <3: you know what I mean sebastian

seb <3: out here full naming me while I’m down

carlos <3: I say it with love

seb <3: not this time 🤨

carlos <3: okay I’m sorry but seb please 😭

seb <3: okay okay

seb <3: I feel fine right now they gave me meds before casting it

seb <3: which is on for 6 weeks

seb <3: and ironically on these meds I can’t operate heavy machinery lol

carlos <3: oh my gosh seb 😭 I’m so sorry

seb <3: it’s fine but thank you love :)

seb <3: we’re gonna need another pianist for rehearsal though

carlos <3: ashlyn plays we’ll be fine

seb <3: ashlyn’s in it though??

carlos <3: so are you???

seb <3: right

seb <3: not only am I not allowed to drive I am also confusion 😌

carlos <3: seb this is not funny 😭

seb <3: it kinda is though

~

In case you're wondering about the timeline, it's vague and in a hypothetical season 4, I believe lol. So, if I were wanting to keep it canon compliant, it would probably be the spring show after HSM 3 xD.

I hope you enjoyed!

See you "tomorrow" (today) for Day 2!!

Happy HSMTMTS Appreciation Week everybody :D!!

[rosemirmir]

Tagged by @stickers-on-a-laptop for this! Thanks for the tag. :D

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

152 across my three pseuds, 123 on my main/fic one, 25 for my art one, and 4 for my meta one.

2. What is your AO3 wordcount?

77,898

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Mainly tokusatsu, and old anime. Though there's also some Zelda, and a few other things in the mix too.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Excluding the one that got hit by a kudos bot its:

Please Bird Call Responsibly (Ankh/Eiji, T)

A Reminder (Ankh/Eiji, E)

When It's Spring, and You're a (Horny, Horny) Bird (Ankh/Eiji, E)

Tell Me Your, Tell Me Your, Fantasy, Fantasy (Ankh/Eiji, E)

Hot Weather, Popsicles, And a Touch of Mischief (Ankh/Eiji, G)

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yeah! Sometimes I forget because memory issues, but I like to respond to comments whenever I get them.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

This one. (Post OOO 10th, probably the only thing I will ever write that's compliant with that film XD)

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

That's a good question. I would say this one?

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I haven't gotten any yet, I think locking my comments to archive users only (mainly because of all the spambot problems) is a big reason why.

9. Do you write smut? If so, which kind?

I do. I just write it for the ships and characters I want to center it around. I've always joked "You can tell I'm really invested in something if I write/draw smut for it".

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest crossover you’ve ever written?

I do when I have the idea! They're fun to do. And I would say the fic where I make Ankh have incredibly awkward sexual tension with The Owner from Den-O is up there.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! Two times, both in Brazilian Portuguese. :D

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have not, but it would be fun to give it a try one day.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

AnkhEiji and Mayalock. I refuse to pick one over the other.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

There was this one WIP I had where Ankh and Eiji are dealing with a heat wave I don't see myself getting back to anytime soon. (Unless inspiration strikes during the summer.)

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue and characterization! I've had people point it out to me before as well.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Descriptions of things, I've always struggled with that. Which is why its something I've been really working on with my writing as of late to try and improve at.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I don't think I've done it yet (If I have I can't remember right now, memory issues) but the approach I would take is italicizing it to differentiate it.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Pokemon! I'm pretty sure the first fic I actually wrote was a pokemon one. Though none of those have survived throughout the years.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

I would have to say Wrap Me In Your Wings (And Hold Me Closer) is my favorite fic I've written so far.

Tagging @belovedstill @xing-hua @buddyaldridge @droppedalltheseoreos @dragonofeternal @setsuntamew (No pressure!) And if you see this and want to do it, go for it!

[jiamiuxin]

daiya no ace anime reflection/review

**spoilers!!**

im at a point in my life where i have a lot of free time at the end of the day and i find myself filling that slot with anime.

for the past two weeks, ace of the diamond has taken up a big portion of my mind as i found myself falling in love with the team and its players.

about a month ago was when i started a roll on watching sports anime. i caught up on haikyuu, binged blue lock and ao ashi, and finally spent another good chunk of time on free!!. ace of the diamond was no new title to me, yet for some reason i kept it on the back burner. i dont know why; whether it was the art style, the then-seemingly long list of episodes, or the fact that it was baseball. maybe it was all of them. when i burned myself out trying to find another anime, i finally settled on giving DnA a chance.

today, as i have finished all 176 episodes (no OVAs yet!) i confidently say it's one of my top, if not the top, anime ive seen so far.

i noted a few things as i progressed through the series: strong points, cons, favorite characters, and a few personal thoughts.

i will start off with the cons head on. daiya's is, i guess i could say, notorious? for its "annoying, loud, benchwarmer" MC. one genuine complaint i do have is the lack of animation quality in the third season. there were many still shots with voice overs, though i felt a little more satisfied with the animation towards the end. also, to a smaller extent, the anime is not as complete as the manga.

anyway, i think the slow burn is actually a strong point, as many others point out. indeed, it is the very low lows that make the highs so high. don't get me wrong, i love a stupidly powerful MC, such as mob psycho 100 or OPM, but the realism gives DnA its charm and relatability. when others say "season 1 is bad, season 2 is good, season 3 is amazing," they are not lying.

DnA's charm not only lies in its realism, but also its character development and character interactions. brotherhood, leadership, and teamwork are all themes throughout the anime. the way the third years cared for their juniors and the way the juniors fought to elongate their seniors' summers was beautiful, heart-wrenching, and gut-punching to me, a recent college graduate. these types of moments are not uncommon in sports anime, but something about DnA's execution made it so much more..emotional? relatable? whether it was due to convenient timing or the fact that the sheer amount of episodes made me feel like they were actually my own friends, i just felt so much more compelled when watching daiya.

on the topic of my personal emotions, as i said, the themes of graduating/retiring really hit home for me. but that made daiya all the more special to me. both personal relatability and just watching everyone's hard work made it so easy to sympathize with their determination. maybe it was the countless scenes of them heaving and gasping for air; or the scenes where TJ made their frustrations so visible and vulnerable. as a watcher, i did not see myself rooting for some characters in a show; normally, i'd take a normal stance with the expectations that the "of course, the MC team will win." i saw myself rooting for my friends. in addition, knowing TJ, we can never be too sure on how seido's games will actually go. everything comes down to the realism. it's daiya's realism that made me feel their passion, made them so relatable, and made it feel like they were actually at high stakes. i truly, rarely never cry when watching an anime. besides assassination classroom, no other anime has made me so emotional. not only that, but daiya made me cry several times. the amount of immersion is insane.

to no surprise, my favorite character is miyuki. he was the know-it-all. he was essentially the rock of seido with his calls. i often found myself wondering how strong seido would be without miyuki. no disrespect to ono; as he proved, and as kataoka also believes, ono is also reliable. but miyuki was just built different bro. anyway, i appreciated his character for not only baseball iq, but his rapid maturity into the captain role, and his flexibility with his juniors. i found his personality very admirable and his logical approach to situations both relatable and reliable. other characters i particularly were fond of were chris and kuramochi. if okumura had more screen time, i could also see him climbing up my list. as someone who had no prior baseball knowledge, daiya/seido as a whole, but particularly chris and miyuki, gave me a newfound respect for and fundmental understanding of baseball.

i think one last thing i wanted to note was that i really don't read manga. but for daiya, im definitely gonna pick up the manga now. i have never done this before for an anime, even others i really liked--hxh, haikyuu, one punch man, etc. i just never felt compelled to read the story further beyond the anime. but for daiya, this is something im willing to do. i just love it that much.

if you are having second thoughts or are debating on watching DnA, def watch it if you do not mind slow burn and can take a realistic approach. on the other hand, i do not recommend if you want to see an OP MC.

~

i am truly a nobody, especially not a professional anime critic LMFAO but i just wanted to vent my thoughts of daiya somewhere :) these are just my personal opinions

[maddiebiscuits]

i don't know how to phrase this any other way so i hope you don't find this rude or anything: you are (imo) a very skilled, very prolific art toaster. it's great quality artwork obviously, but your turnaround is wicked crazy fast to me. what does burnout look like for you? how do you manage to toast so many arts? what dark magics must you employ??

The hard truth is I worked in journalism for two years between 2010-2012 and customer service/hospitality starting at 16 years old in 2007 all throughout my life until 2022 and I don't want to go back to any of it now that I'm almost 33 - that's the main motivator to keep my freelance gig career doing art commissions going as long as possible. Fear and loathing of going back to that work environment keeps me focused.

In action...I'm not quite sure if I ever experience 'burn out'? I do experience art 'block' in that I can't think of anything to draw on my own or feel really unsatisfied with my work...so I just goof off with my canvas or do studies, but this doesn't interfere with doing commissions where I am told what to draw.

I just enjoy the physical act of drawing. Sometimes when I'm bored and restless and going for a walk doesn't help, I just draw more. When I was a kid I would just come home from school and draw crap between playing Gameboy/N64/Gamecube or browsing Elfwood/Newgrounds/DeviantART/Gaia Online, so it's literally just a habit now. If I don't draw for a long time I feel anxious and unwell. Somehow I just programmed my brain to think that art = leisure fun time, even if it's for work. I also tend to get into a "zone" sometimes and just put on video essays or music and a few hours later I'll have worked through some commission stuff.

I have three 'task lists' for my workflow:

A public trello board organized by work order types (N/SFW link)

A personal trello board organized by type/date in chronological order

A coloured tagging and folder system in my emails where I can just see the actual dates/timestamps of my last correspondence with a client so I know exactly who in my taskboard needs to be prioritized for their next WIP update

I hold myself to a standard of sending a client a WIP in stages:

rough draft (1-14 business days)

revisions (1-5 business days)

line art (1-14 business days)

revisions (1-5 business days)

final render (1-14 business days)

tweaks (1-2 business days)

So ideally, the client gets a finished commission in 3-6 weeks, so about 1-2 months. For larger projects I send more WIPs and the process is obviously longer. For simpler stuff like chibis, it's rarely a full six weeks. Over holidays I add an extra two weeks to my noted turn-around to account for IRL time off. On all my terms of service I have a maximum four months turn-around, essentially doubling the time I know my work flow is just in case there's some sort of medical or equipment emergency in my life that I need to account for that gives me a buffer (I also notify all clients)

Monday to Friday I wake up usually...late morning/early afternoon? I do anywhere from four to eight hours of artwork, broken up by walks, stretching, eating, cleaning, cooking, hanging out with my partner, etc. I look at my personal trello taskboard and emails to see what must be done and what can wait. I try to get at least 1-2 things done in a day though, be that sketches/line art/renders/revisions.

Right now I am looking at my email and task board, and the client with the highest wait time chronologically is someone who is waiting for their final render (sketch and line art already revised and done for them). Last email correspondence with them on the email says 9 days ago (so 7 business days, I'm supposed to take Sat-Sun off). Their order was paid in full and confirmed by me on November 9 and it is currently December 13, so I'm at about the 5 week mark (not accounting for delays in clients getting back to me of course) and I am very much On Course for my work load, no one has been without contact from me for 14 days or more so I'm pretty ahead of my game right now! I could take tomorrow off if I wanted, or only do 3-4 hours of work if I feel like it.

However the more work you finish and post, the more you show prospective clients your ability to finish orders and show your audience more art for engagement, so ideally I always like posting stuff when I can, it just creates a cycle of positive production and income.

[ikatako38]

Hey all, I have some good news and some bad news.

The bad news

is that TPWCH is going on an emergency (unplanned) hiatus. This means I won’t be making any effort to work on the fic or any related work such as art and side projects, whicle I try to get myself back on my feet. This means we might miss the 2nd Anniversary Special, but I will post it eventually even if it’s late. I’m really excited to share it with you! I don’t know how long this emergency hiatus is going to be, but I think somewhere around a month would be a reasonable estimate. Keep in mind that this is when I’ll start working on things again, so it might be a few more weeks after that before you start seeing content again.

The good news

is that I’m going to be emptying out all my WIPs, notes, and any other content I can easily throw at you guys to help hold you over throughout the break! So anyone following me here should be getting a bunch of exclusive content over the next several weeks.

Also,

since everything’s getting pushed back, I think now would be a good a time as any to start Ship Wars! I’m not going to put an exact start date on it yet, because it will take a bit of work to kickstart, and I don’t know when I’ll get around to that, but once I do get it started it should mostly run itself!

So…

I feel like I’ve been saying this a lot lately, but thank you guys so much for sticking around with me through all of this. I’m painfully aware that I’ve only uploaded one and a half official chapters since April, and I know that I’ve lost a lot of readers because of that. So again, thank you so much for staying. It really means the world to me.

I’m sure the question a lot of you probably have on your mind right now is, Is Tako ever actually going to finish TPWCH? And with how things have been going lately, that’s a very valid question. To be 100% honest with how I’m feeling another the fic right now, I kind of wish it could just be done already. Or that it could just somehow write itself. But the reason for that is that I’m so excited to share with you all other parts of the TPWCH universe that are just waiting to be written! I really don’t see myself dropping the TPWCH universe anytime soon, and I really don’t see myself dropping TPWCH itself anytime soon, either. And an important reason for that is simply that… I don’t have any other ideas to write. Even for other fandoms. It’s a bit crazy just how strong of a hold TPWCH has had on me for three years now.

By the way, that’s not normal for me. Back on my FFN and Wattpad days (don’t bother going to look for my accounts, they don’t exist… yet 👀), I was usually working on 3-5 fics at once and was constantly having ideas for new ones, to where it was a struggle to keep up and I to make hard decisions about priority. I don’t know if I’ve gotten less creative with ideas as I’ve gotten older or whether TPWCH is just the first universe to be so interesting to me that I don’t have any need or desire to come up with new things outside of it.

Either way, if I have no desire to work on other things, the only way TPWCH would ever stop is if I stopped writing altogether, and that’s just not going to happen. Writing has been a huge part of my life since I was ten, and maybe even younger. It’s my most important hobby and makes me happy. If I don’t do it for too long, it’ll actually make my mental state worse.

So I really don’t want you guys to think that this is like a vacation for me, or some sort of respite from the… AWFUL chore of writing. (　ﾟдﾟ) Really it’s more like I’m grounded from writing until I can get my grades up. (;_;) The grades in this case, yes being my university grades but also my life in general because it’s been kind of a mess lately. Within the last two weeks, I fell out with two of the closest people I’ve ever been to and pretty much the only irl friends I have at this point (the Discord server will know who these people are). One of them going very badly and increasing my conviction that everyone secretly hates me. （╹◡╹）On top of that my room is slowly becoming uninhabitable, I’m not sleeping, and I’m just constantly stressed and anxious. But I’m gonna be okay. The fallings-out are very fresh and will fade with time, and just two days ago I finally got a consultation for ADHD. I now have initial diagnoses of ADHD and Social Anxiety Disorder, which I should be starting treatment for in about a month, so I’m really hoping that will help me somewhat to get back on track. And all the support from everyone between Discord, here and AO3 has always helped, and I’m sure it will continue to help. Many of the people I’ve met online through the fic have ironically been far more supportive and trustworthy than the people I’ve met irl. You’re all so real for that ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

Wow, that got really long! Thank for reading this far!

[arecomicsevengood]

THREE UNCIVILIZED BOOKS

If you ever come to visit me in Philadelphia, particularly if you are a visual artist of some stripe, odds are good I will invite you to visit the Barnes Foundation, home of some very beautiful paintings. A few months ago, I was with a cartoonist, looking at a piece by Pascin, maybe overhearing a docent providing commentary to a tour group, when the idiotic commentary of my own mind said to myself: Hey, didn’t a cartoonist do a cartoon biography of Pascin? Maybe there are copies in the gift shop. There were not, but once I was at home and googled I confirmed the cartoonist in question was Joann Sfar, and this book was published in the U.S. by Uncivilized Books. Months later, the publisher had a big sale on their website, and now that book is in my hands.

The comics biography is a much-maligned genre, for an number of reasons. One particularly egregious offense is telling the story of an artist via a style that gives no indication the storyteller cares about or understands the artist’s work. This, however, is a gorgeously drawn book. The affinity between Sfar feels for Pascin is clear, though pastiche is not attempted, there is still an understanding of the role of brushstroke, and characters struggle with the questions of art in a way that remains unsettled for the cartoonist. There’s a bit late in the book where two painters are discussing drawing from models, and how the goal is to capture the life and motion of a figure so it’s not like a photograph, and has a richness to it, but not to approach this goal the way the cubists go about it. It feels like this is a part of Sfar’s concerns as well, and he is choosing the looseness of a sketchbook approach, with varying materials, as his own way of achieving this aim. The page layouts are sketchbook-style, lacking the sense of forward momentum you get from a grid, but remaining well-timed in their progression across a sequence. To the best of my knowledge, it’s the only book of Sfar’s in English that’s in black and white, and we get to see his decisions unencumbered by color, as he focuses on textures, the body, nudity, eroticism.

The traditional structure of the biography is dispensed with, in favor of telling little stories that work as comics. There isn’t a narrative of cause and effect, of rising and falling fortunes. Rather, a man is who he is, throughout his entire life, and different scenarios illuminate what that means. Sfar really focuses on Pascin as a dude who is either having sex or is drawing women as a way of gratifying himself as an alternative to fucking. In doing so, he turns Pascin into a character, rather than a node in historical time. I am unsure if I favor this approach because I’m a fatalist about human nature and don’t think people change that much over a lifetime, or if I just think that’s what works for comedy and I prefer comedy to drama. Most likely these things are interconnected.

This seems to me the right approach for Pascin, both because a comic works well with cartoon characters as its subject, and because of what it is to be a painter. It has occurred to me, walking through the Barnes, or other museums, that if you are seeing actual paintings, you are seeing them absent a grand historical narrative. An art book, filled with reproductions, can break an oeuvre down into periods, showing examples of each. But in a museum, you take what’s on offer, whether it be sketches or a handful of finished works. It is the rare museum that features enough of an artist’s work a viewer can take in the grand sweep of a career. This offers its own correspondence to what it is to be a person: how a lover has a different perspective on their partner than a close friend would, and parents, coworkers, and casual acquaintances have their own individual takes. While a biographer might seek a full compendium of everyone’s shifting opinions, over a period of years, all this will lead a reader to is the inconclusive conclusion that such-and-such was “a complicated guy.” A portrait of the artist as someone primarily interested in women and their work might not satisfy a biographer, but it is not necessarily inaccurate.

Other artists (Soutine, Hemingway) get walk-on roles and they’re all presented as coherent characters - possessing a degree of psychological depth, but defined by their actions, and usually driven by base desires. Juxtaposing them against each other allows for themes to emerge without the book needing to lapse into narrative captions offering didactic explanations. There’s an episodic structure, and I enjoyed it from the beginning, but with each new chapter I felt like the book was getting better, cutting closer to its subject. It’s a very satisfying reading experience, and made me interested in reading more of Sfar’s work.

Another book I purchased from Uncivilized during this recent sale was Jesse McManus’ The Whistling Factory. Jesse recently gave a talk for the New York Comics Symposium I appreciated for a number of reasons. He is about the same age as I am, and he touched on having read as a kid some of the same black and white kids comics I wrote about in my article for issue 2 of But Is It… Comic Aht. (I still have copies available, if anyone’s interested.) While writing that piece, I had noted that there were similarities between how Jesse approached the cartooned shape and the shadows it cast and Scott Roberts did in his comic Patty Cake. My whole reason for writing that piece was that I feel like these comics were really under-discussed, because despite the nostalgic tendency in comics criticism, that primarily benefits superhero comics, and the comics I was talking about were never that widely-read. Jesse was totally disinterested in superhero comics that get discussed ad nauseam, and his perspective both feels unique to him and familiar to me.

Jesse McManus diverges from me by being very good at drawing, and he goes beyond a lot of people by making a system out of following the logic of squash-and-stretch, taking the Fort Thunder tendency to focus on characters moving in space and applying it to this Kricfalusi-derived shifting of forms. The interest in images-for-their-own-sake abuts an interest in language-for-its-own-sake, and they work in concert to create something just a few feet beyond the fathomable. So many comics are interesting because you can see the artist thinking on paper, but in McManus you see someone who’s been drawing so long that the brain is on paper so fully it feels like the unconscious mind is behind what we’re seeing. Objects seem to flow in and out of being symbols, with new meanings dependent on the context. If Uncivilized feels like a weird publisher because it’s not clear what exactly they publish, besides feeling like the farm league for D+Q, these books seem to take the name of the company literally, in very different ways, to put to paper things that feel half-feral, untamed.

The subject matter of the half-feral arises in Sam Alden’s New Construction, but in order to talk about what makes Alden’s comics interesting to me, I’ve gotta briefly digress: Recently I reread the first two issues of Adrian Tomine’s Optic Nerve, which Drawn And Quarterly published in 1995. In high school, I borrowed a friend’s copy of Sleepwalk, which collected the first four issues of the series, and enjoyed it, vaguely intending to buy my own copy of the collection eventually, and buying all the issues that would later be collected as Summer Blonde. Now I’ve got the first two issues, and I might as well try to find issues 3 and 4 so I can have a complete set of the series in single issue format.

By and large, when I read comics from the 1990s for the first time decades later, there are two reactions I have: “Wow, they don’t make comics like that any more. That was so good, and so strong, in a way I can’t imagine anyone attempting that now” - these are, generally speaking, works that are “edgy” or transgressive in some way: Seven Miles A Second, for instance, or Nurture The Devil (still trying to track down issue 2 of this) or Villa Of The Mysteries. Julie Doucet’s Dirty Plotte fits this bill. Paul Pope was likely not trying to be transgressive, but his P-City Parade is still impressive for how much of a game-changer its approach to visual storytelling would’ve been at the time, and has stuff in it any editorial or self-censoring impulse would blanch at today. In comparison, work that feels inoffensive  often feels sort of boring in a way it likely didn’t at the time: The comics of Michael Dougan, say, which I tracked down after he died, are well-told, but also seem like they benefitted from there not being as much competition at the time. Interestingly, this perspective feels like the opposite of what most people mean when they say work “didn’t age well.” I am not sure if my tastes reflect a hunger for the transgressive for its own sake as much as I am interested in how work reflects the time of its creation, and I remember the nineties well enough to know people were not so well-manicured in their self-presentation as they are in the time of social media. (Again, these things are likely interconnected.)

When I read Optic Nerve, it strikes me as work I liked when I was younger, that was made by someone who was themselves quite young at the time of its creation. One thing that makes the single issues interesting is the letter columns. Tomine was known for having good ones, as his work attracted a special type of weirdo that was comfortable offering their unprompted criticism to strangers. This is another aspect of the nineties which has fallen out of favor: All the criticism seems offered in earnest good faith, as opposed to today, where if someone tags a creator on social media when they’re offering criticism they will be called out for being a dick, people largely thinking of audience feedback within terms of a praise or trolling binary. James Kochalka has a letter in issue two, offering a take on Tomine’s work which has aged like wine, and I will reproduce it in in full:

…I’ve been enjoying your comics, but I’m beginning to find the critics tiresome. To me, it seems like you’re not particularly wise beyond your years. Your comics seem very much like they were written by a young person. You don’t seem particularly extra knowledgeable about what makes human beings tick… To me it seems like you’re as good you are simply because you work very hard at it. Sometimes it almost seems like you’re trying too hard, especially in Optic Nerve #1. It’s drawn with such rigidity. The pictures seem like they’re made almost entirely of vertical lines, with minor horizonals and very inconsequential diagonals and curves. To  me it seems like the stories don’t automatically call to be treated in this manner. Rather, it seems like your desire to appear “professional” is having a restricting effect on your drawing hand. Please, flow freely into your work.

Tom Kaczynski, the future publisher of Uncivilized Books, also writes in, saying “…I did find this issue to be bit awkward in execution. Some panels, it seemed, you were unsure of. I don’t know what is causing it. In the past, you seemed to have certain confidence in the line of the brush (especially on the “Smoke” story) which seems to be repressed under the tightened inks.”

I bring up these things to note that Sam Alden, similarly, was perceived as a young cartoonist for a minute there, and his stories in New Construction seem very well-observed in capturing young adults and subculture. He would’ve been a bit older than Tomine was. (These letters were written in 1995, when Tomine would’ve been 21, the stories in New Construction would’ve been made, I think, when Alden was in his late twenties.) Tomine’s work is about young people as somewhat repressed, lonely, aching to find their place in the world. Alden’s characters, a little bit older, have found comfort in subculture but are not necessarily great at navigating the world they’ve chosen for themselves, which might be harmful to them. Contained in the contrast between the two is a Generation X-er’s ability to enter into the world of professionalism, albeit with trepidation, as Tomine himself approximates the literary short story, and gets gigs doing illustration for The New Yorker, while Alden documents the sort of extended adolescence millennials fell into in the absence of other options.

Sam Alden is by no means unemployable: He worked on Adventure Time at the time he made New Construction, and his earlier comic Haunter is the sort of post-Fort-Thunder genre comic that might earn someone such a gig. The two stories in New Construction, on the other hand, are literary fiction: One, Backyard, follows a group of young people living together in a house in New Orleans, where one person has stopped speaking altogether, and now communicates only in barks, and has moved to the backyard. Everyone is accepting this in the manner of open-minded young people, doing the best they can, noting she seems a lot happier now. The other story follows two siblings, also living in New Orleans, who have gone through a traumatic with their parent in the past and are ill-equipped for the larger world, and are having an incestuous relationship. They are much looser in their visual approach than you see in a Tomine comic, with scanning and printing technology developing enough in the intervening decades that Alden can work directly in pencil. He really nails the texture of water at night. The elliptical quality to his comics seems oriented towards the visual, towards capturing a gesture or atmosphere, something that might be elusive if attempting to recall it later, making for comics that feel decidedly immediate. Alden self-released a book called Sledgehammer digitally at the end of 2022, and my distaste for paying for digital comics has prevented me from reading it. I should get over this. It’s probably pretty good.

We all need to find a way to negotiate the digital space. It’s funny that Uncivilized proprietor Tom K, as he is known in shorthand, shares a surname with the Unabomber. It’s less funny that the company’s website does not offer anything in the way of interior art previews to show what these comics look like, which is almost certainly a big part of why I didn’t read them until they were deeply discounted. Images are from Uncivilized Books included in this post partly to remedy this problem, although they of course have far more comics that I have not read and have no idea what their art looks like. The images from mid-nineties comics I highlighted are included as part of my general largesse.

[dotlilith]

FINISHED FUJIEDA'S ROUTE!! WHAT A RIDE!! i got the congratulations cg while still missing some cgs from the final interrogation because it apparently counts actual madness differently from presenting the second clue.

If i said that madarame was a good foil to towa, then fujieda made a really really good mirror. i LOVED seeing the comparisons between him and towa throughout the entirety of the route and how they were very similar yet still quite different.

The after credits scenes were fantastic too, and confirmed a few sneaking suspicions i'd had for a really long time which was nice!!

Major Spoilers Past This Point.

I can't readmore on mobile so i'm just going to hope that anyone who cares about spoilers scrolls past. Will still try to be vague like my other posts just in case.

Getting to see all of the cast once again and check in on them after the final interrogation was really nice. I was worried we wouldn't get to see eiji again! but right after inada said he'd left town he showed up immediately after the exploration and i breathed a sigh of relief. genuinely my favorite character. Inada's little backstory with him was neat too, and something i'd suspected for a while.

I would have liked to have a character art bonus section? like to see all of the different talksprites and their differences? but i understand why they didn't do that.

Towa's backstory with the ch1-2 cast was intriguing, i find myself wanting to know more about how that came to be and i'm pretty sure there's an extra story for ikuina's childhood in the tips menu somewhere but i'll have to get around to those later.

I think madarame's route was my favorite, but taku's route had the best madness end imo. i just like the whole vibe of it even though the other ones were also fantastic.

Reading through the last hour or so of content was really heartwarming to me, towa getting to essentially restart his life on his own terms with a good number of people there to support him and especially someone like fujieda who didn't mind when things would still get bad was!!! aaaaa

This has to be my new favorite n+c game just because the entire atmosphere feels perfect, and is exactly what i would have wanted out of a new n+c game, oozing flavor and flair at every single turn. I feel like dmmd had better character design, but the less flashy outfits eventually grew on me and i liked having a protagonist like towa, an artist without much direction. Eventually he gets that direction in every ending and it's just... nice. The plot was extremely dark at times, but that just made the good endings that much better and i would have expected nothing less of n+c.

The ending felt extremely bittersweet in maya's room. I tend not to enjoy media that involves people reconciling and forgiving those that fundamentally traumatized them, but i'm so glad that didn't happen here. him reading the diary and finding out that despite all of the stuff she did, she still thought she loved him with all of her heart HURT. him telling fujieda that the people that caused his trauma don't own his scars resonated really hard with me for some reason and echoed in my head a bit while the credits rolled here and it's the one time i cried during my playthrough.

On to the bonus content!

[ren-from-mars]

I’ve been doing some reflecting on this past year, and I really truly think it is the most artistic improvement I have made in any span of time. Of course, I’m going to be completely insufferable about it and have collected my best piece from each month with a few personal notes, so why don’t we go on a sprint down memory highway together?

January

At the start of the year, I was both adrift between fandoms and art styles. I was mostly aiming to find which style I could keep using, finish pieces quickly yet still feel proud of. It certainly worked in the moment, but as I pushed my boundaries more it didn't stick. Still, I look back on this style fondly! also proper throwback to my old username that i had for far too long

February

This was the start of me working on colour palettes. I lay down my main colour in the background and fit the rest of my colours around that. It was a good way to start experimenting!

March

Then the shift back to finding my style- I particularly like how the hair turned out in this piece! I also started trying more interesting poses here, and actually properly attempting hands.

April

I didn't finish any pieces in april as I had started working more hours and didn't quite know how to balance myself creatively at that point. I did lean into this style of sketch much more, which was good fun while it stuck around but ive leant away from it in more recent times.

May

Not much to say about may in particular, lots of the same things as the past few months with improvements here and there! just some steady progress :)

June

Cue the crunch of getting character refs done before artfight, and then only actually finishing one (which isn't actually complete, even to this day). But hey, more solid reference for My Guy ! I also leaned into drawing furries a lot more and have improved heaps in the difference of proportions!

July

artfight baybee!! no artistic differences, but it was a lot of fun scouting out other peoples character designs! I do hope to participate more this year :3

August

back to colours, though this month felt like a bit of a backtrack. Don't get me wrong, I do quite like this piece, but contrast-wise it doesn't have as much visual clarity as I would like. Regardless, a good learning opportunity!

September

Fun fact, I rendered this one entirely in greyscale! This was the start of me getting back into hatchetfield after being reminded of NPMDs release, and lets be real this part of black friday was chilling so I had to do something about it! I consider this piece a landmark in terms of my art journey.

October

Once again no real finished pieces, I was too busy watching nightmare time while waiting for the group watch of npmd. I did do a lot of studies of star wars characters from their live-action shows though, which was a fun learning experience!

November

This was the piece where I applied pretty much everything I had learnt throughout the year. contrast, colour themes, interactive environments and poses, the lot! and also. its them. how could i not

December

A perfect piece to wrap up the year with! Another step up from november, this applied lots of what I had learnt and pushed my boundaries even more. I have been aiming for more realism to actor's faces and body types, not out of it-has-to-be-canon-sake, but rather learning how to accurately depict someone's likeness from a few photo references. good practice for both live-action and animated characters!

Overall last year was absolutely wild. I can't wait to share my journey with you all as we go into 2024 strong!

[bodyfeels]

feeling emo and sentimental... i'm gonna share my new years resolutions... i already talked about them on peach but i might as well share here too... kinda long though but i think i'll make a tldr at the end

become face and body neutral - like throughout these last few months i took selfies and nudes of myself and i feel like by doing that i got more neutral towards how i look. like idk nothing gets done feeling so negatively about yourself. the selfies thing was honestly to also find my angles HAJSDFHSAF but also i'd like to take selfies better too. as for the nudes part like idk i think i will be keeping all that to myself but it's the same idea for my face i suppose, i look good and i feel neutral. i dont have to edit a selfie or a nude for my skin to be smoother or whatever like i look fine and i can just exist like Relax... also my cheeks are becoming rounder YES GOD!!!!

work out more - well i've already been working out anyways and this year i'm happy because i got to improve my core strength a bit so that's good. i do it so that way my back is not in pain and same goes for my legs so YAAAY for not being in pain

cook more - i've been very on and off about this....like heinously HJASHDFJASF uhm something that got me back into cooking though is fried rice like that will never fail me and this time i really got it down so YAAAS... i'd like to cook more in the future and get better at it... btw i dont think i talked about it but i got a new rice cooker and it is very good like yes god!!

play and clear my video games - i've been playing ff7r mainly lately and recently for christmas i bought project diva x on the ps4 on sale... i'd like to own a physical version of that game someday but everywhere is selling it for full price or whatever like i'm not paying that much for a flop game... well anyways i'd just like to play more beyond my silly mobile games and perhaps i'll even play MMOs... but i'd like to play the games i have on the consoles i have (psp, psvita, ps3/4, etc.) and just finish them or revisit others

animate more - okay i only really started doing that this year because of oomf's birthday and hatsune miku's birthday but i'd like to make more... i do have a lot of ideas but that all requires me to finish my 3d models speaking of which...

model more - i already kinda talked abuot this on my art blog but i did Technically model more compared to last year, only 3 models in 2022, this year i made 6... whoa... well i guess the amount doesn't really matter but i would like to really just practice more, finish projects, and let my 3d models come to life through my renders and animations

listen to more music - i already mentioned on my 12 tracks for 2023 post but i listen to music as a small way to engage with history. i started in 2022 and it's been a really fun journey listening to all this music and there's so much out there too.

gif more and possibly get into archiving? - ok i picked up gif making this year, i used to do them back in like... high school or whatever but then i just stopped. but then i realized this was a really good way of archiving. i'd like to actually scan things like scanning this yoshitaka amano artbook i have or even the f7d artbooks since that game is more than likely going to close this year...but i dont have a machine that scans and technically i could just take a silly picture off of my phone but idk i dont think it's the same. maybe one day but other wise i'll probably just stick with gif making

so basically it's just me keeping up with the stuff i've done recently or have been doing. unfortunately as of writing this i feel sad and maybe it's because i don't want this day to pass and for a new year to start but it will anyways whether i like it or not... le sigh...

anyways happy new years eve hope this new year will be better for everybody

[pbandjesse]

I mostly felt okay today. I am very cold though. And that made things difficult. But if I kept moving I was doing good. I tried my best to be productive and that was good. And I slept better.

I was not feeling great last night but I woke up feeling a little better. I hugged James before they left for work but would sleep until 930. Which apparently is my bodies favorite time to wake up when I have no plans.

I stayed in bed until well after 10 though. I didn't want to get up and that was just fine. I did some research to find a non bug boot jack for Jess. And finally got up.

I took a shower and washed my hair and got dressed. And started cleaning. I did a once over throughout the apartment. Put some stuff away. Sprayed and wiped things down.

I started the dishwasher and put away all the laundry and dish pods mom gave us. And went to change the sheets. I also changed the duvet cover and made the bed very cozy. But this took forever and made me a little dizzy and hot.

I had cereal and cooled down before vacuuming and cleaning the fishtanks. I love that I don't have to change the filters anymore and I have a solid bio feedback from the plants, moss, and the purposeful snails. And the invasive snails are much more under control then they have been. Still not perfect but it's going well keeping them to a manageable level

I felt really good about the cleaning but I felt a bit exhausted. Just really winded. I took an hour to lay on the couch and watch videos.

I had the rest of the leftover pizza from last night for lunch.

I decided I would do some art. I drew for a while. I wanted to redo some of my ideas for the little tattoos we are getting in a few weeks. Took about an hour. And then I spent literally forever reworking my idea and my math. I made a chart for my yarn and discovered I didn't buy one of the colors I meant to. Incredible. I will have to go do that tomorrow.

I was proud of my work but I still felt a little listless. And like I needed some kind of deadline or something. Like I like having off from work but also I miss work and want to go back to work. But also I want to only work 3 days a week. Which I don't actually want but I am just complaining. I miss work. But I will miss having days off.

So I gave myself a big task. And spent the next two hours going through all of my clothes. Well most of them. I took everything off the hangers and everything out of my big green trunk where I store most of my extra clothes. This does not include my sweaters or jackets or the pajama drawer. But everything else is in the green trunk.

I would first pull everything out and then sorted everything into piles. Shirts, jumpsuits, dresses, bottoms. And I just have to many clothes. But I have been so good about purging over the last couple years and buying things I really like I didn't have as much to get rid of as I expected. Which is good! But I was worried about not having the space I was looking for. I decided to sort through and pull out anything that I only wear for summer camp. So now those have their own box in the studio. And then I was able to make some decisions on what was getting hung up again.

This was only difficult because I had so many long sleeve black shirts. Which used to be an issue in the opposite direction. I did a good job collecting things for layering. And in the end I only hung up half of the things that had been in the closet before. I'm very pleased.

And then I was super excited when I folded everything and it all fits so nicely in the green trunk and I didn't have to force it or anything. Amazing.

I hope to go through the jammies at some point but I share that drawer with James so I don't feel super pressed about it.

I ended up getting rid of another whole bag of clothes. So that's three trash bags of stuff. I am very happy with my purging even if it's slow going.

As I was finishing folding the camp clothes James came home. I was really happy to see them even though they were very sweaty. They apologized but it doesn't actually bother me that much. I just get surprised when they are damp.

We sat in the floor in the studio and talked. I showed them my yarn chart. And we discussed what we are going to do for dinner since we still have no oven. Our landlady hasn't responded but James is going to send a follow up about lowering our rent until it's replaced or fixed. Because we have to spend more money on food. I think this is fair. And she's reasonable so we will see what she says.

James would run to the grocery store. Got jam and milk. And soup for me and some little frozen burgers for themselves. And when they got home they heated up our food and then jumped on a DND game with their friends while I did some research on some 1970s name plate jewelry. Is anyone else obsessed with your name being on things? I love it and I don't know why. Also the names were incredibly 70s and I loved that. Just names you don't hear people under 50 having anymore. Darlene. Doris. Marlene. Pat. Just the best.

I am just resting now. I feel very winded still but thankfully I don't feel so sick as I did last night. Let's hope tomorrow continues that trend.

I hope tomorrow to go to the craft store and get the yarn I need. And maybe I'll stop at the savers. And just enjoy the end of the year.

I hope you all have a great night. Sleep well everyone.

[pumpkin-spike18]

✨WEEKLY PROGRESS 2023 #5 & #6✨

I swear biweekly updates won't become a trend. 😥

Weekly Progress 2023 #5

Finished programing SYVNH Demo 2.0!

Finished first draft of EKL script

Updated CG Gallery

Went through lint failures and fixed those

Sent to playtesters, did some fixes

Drafted announcements and tweets

Weekly Progress 2023 #6

Updated screenshots

Released Demo 2.0

Scheduled a month of tweets

Advertised on discord/reddit

Added release to Yan Jam 2023

Answered a few comments

Whee~ I reached the lighted station in the middle of the tunnel 😌 I'll be taking a break here before moving on.

So what's next?

For Stuck in a Yandere Visual Novel... HELP!!:

First things first, I think there are a few things in Demo 2.0 that I want to update as soon as I can (which may be mid to late March, earliest). Things currently on my list is:

Updating the smaller sprites by the textbox to be on the right layer 😅 Have any of you tried to save when one of those were on screen? Don't, please lol The issue with fixing that is that I hardcoded that in and it's spread throughout the script so I'll have to manually go in and fix that.

Updating a new voice channel to separate the SFX and the Voice sounds. This one was a result of myself having a brainfart as I started coding and mixed up the channels. I also misunderstood how the built in voice channel is normally used so I'll have to do a bit more research/testing to make sure everything works right.

Adding in a quick way for the player to delete certain persistents.

Finishing that last BG that you didn't see updated compared to Demo 1.0. No not the one on the date.

Maybe a few art updates

And then after that, I'll make a plan for the release of the final part of the game. Or I might do that first next week since I like making guides. The general ending(s) for the full story had long been decided since I first came up with the idea for the game. However, the details and path to that has changed slightly. I did not think certain things through until I started writing the script in Demo 1.0 and Demo 2.0 so some details need to be ironed out.

I also might need to find an editor for the full story. I'm not sure yet. I'm actually not very confident in my ideas and Smoke really helped me out during the release of Demo 1.0. During Demo 2.0, Mamep was gracious enough to take time out to do proofreading, but no in depth editing was performed. So I don't know yet how that'll proceed for the full game.

For everything else:

It's still early in 2023, but I'm told myself NO GAME JAMS. Yeah, guess who was prepared to break that back in mid-January and finished writing a whole new script for a game? EKL (Exorcist Killing Lie) mentioned above in Weekly Progress #5 might be a project submitted for Battle Action Fantasy VN Jam, which I am also helping hosting! Let's get lots more shounen-esque battle VNs out there!

I also have a pre-existing project which I will be doing the programming for. We're hoping to work on that once again for Otome Jam. That will likely take precedence over any other VN jams I participate in.

Of course, alongside that are some paused projects I had on-going prior to working on SYVNH: Pre-Make and There's a Clown in my Attic!! All the sprite art for these two projects are already finished so I do hope to finish both games this year.

And like every good indie vndev out there, I have a 20 page list of games I want to make. Of those, I've two where writing has started. I don't plan on announcing anything for that until the scripts have finished. (One of them are already at 9k words... 😥)

...And for the far, far off future. I have two more ideas that would be the same genre as SYVNH (BL + transmigration/isekai). Though I haven't a clue yet if they'd be better as VNs, KNs, or even as a light novel. 2023 is still a long time. We'll see soon~