#one of my sisters will just be like change your mindset :) and the other acts like shes only one who's ever allowed to go through stuff

[celli-ohs]

I Can't, I Have Rehearsal

pairing: socially awkward!park sunghoon x fem!reader

genre: high school au; crack, comedy, fluff

synopsis: What happens when you get seated right next to the most handsome boy in your entire grade? Well you thought it'd be a great excuse to get to know him better, but the guy won't even talk to you! After a mishap in the science lab, you come to find out that Park Sunghoon, the cold-hearted prince of EN High, isn't in fact rude, he's just afraid of women.

before you read: character profiles

warnings: language, cooties, wild subplot, loser enhypen

word count: 3.78k

taglist (open): @ancnymcnzjy

note: part 1 of my and scene! series, loosely based off en-drama.

Log 3: Wednesday - March 6th, 2024

The blaring screams of his alarm clock has Sunghoon jolting from his sleep. “Oh my god,” He gasps, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “It was all just a dream!” He says relieved.

Jumping out of bed, he hurriedly gets ready for the day. Once clean and changed, he walks to the kitchen, opening a packet of natto to indulge in. 

“Yeji! Don’t forget to comb your hair,” He hears his mother scold as she enters the kitchen. “Oh, Sunghoon, you’re up?” She sounds confused. 

“Yeah, I’m walking with the guys, just like every morning.” He shrugs her off. She doesn’t say much after that, only rushing his little sister around the house, helping her get ready.

“I’m off, see you later.” Sunghoon waves goodbye as he heads out. “Have a good day!” His mother smiles. 

“He’s having a good morning for someone who locked himself in his room last night.” Yeji grumbles. “Your brother is… a teenager Yeji, let him be.” Her mother tries to keep a positive mindset. 

“Will I be like that when I’m a teenager?” Yeji asks, looking worried. 

“You better not, your brother is enough trouble as it is.”

In the past ten minutes no one has said a single word. Sunghoon can’t seem to figure out why though, his eyes searching for the answer. 

Finally, Jungwon clears his throat. “Sunoo,” He calls out. “How did your audition go? For the theater club?” 

The other boy suddenly sighs. “You won’t believe it- they rejected me!” Jaeyun looks completely shocked, eyebrows furrowed together. 

“I know! And then they had the audacity to ask me if I could instead be a prop decorator when I’m meant to be on stage!” Sunoo groans.

“That’s mean,” Heeseung frowns. (He keeps popping up out of nowhere, he’s like a ninja, it’s starting to actually scare Sunghoon).

“But then something happened on my walk home,” Sunoo hums, rummaging through his pocket. “Some guy stopped me when I was getting ice cream, he said to call him and I could become an idol!” Sunoo flashes the fancy business card in front of all his friends. 

“Is that real?” Riki swipes it, observing both sides of the cardstock. The card gets passed around, and everyone gets a good look before it’s returned to Sunoo.

"Belift Lab? What kind of stupid company name is that?" Jungwon scoffs as he reads the card.

“Do you guys think I should do it? Being an idol sounds fun.” Sunoo smiles. That is until Jaeyun shakes his head. “Sure yeah you’re famous, but don’t you want to be an actor? That’s pretty different.”

“True, you could be training for years before you debut, or maybe you don’t debut at all,” Jungwon adds.

“Riki A’s older brother almost became an idol, he says he trained for like almost 3 years.” Riki comments.

“Oh gross, I think I’ll just stick to acting.” Sunoo tosses the card into a nearby trash can. 

“Was he from a good company?” Sunghoon asks. Sunoo shrugs. “Don’t know, I've never heard of them.”

“Sounds sketchy, probably good you didn’t say yes.” Jungwon agrees. 

As the six of them continue on their walk to school, there’s the familiar sound of a thud behind them, causing them all to turn. 

“Fuck, I got my pants dirty,” Jongseong grumbles as he stands up, dusting himself off. “You’re late,” Sunghoon teases, making the other boy roll his eyes. “I’m early actually, and I have been this whole week.” Jongseong argues.

“It’s only Wednesday.” Sunoo points out to him. This has Sunghoon confused. “What do you mean? It’s only Tuesday.”

The boys all stop, turning to Sunghoon with crazed expressions. “Sunghoon, it’s Wednesday,” Jaeyun shows his calendar on his phone.

He takes a closer look, stepping forward. Right there on Jaeyun’s screen it lists the date: Wednesday, March 6th. 

“No.” Sunghoon stumbles over his words. He looks up at his friends. “That means yesterday-” He chokes up.

“Dude are you high?” Riki asks, concerned. “Do you not remember what happened yesterday?”

Yesterday. Tuesday. March 5th.

He went to school, and then he went home. Yeah. No. Maybe?

Because then that would mean that what happened wasn’t a dream-

“You left home early, remember? Actually you ran out, Jaeyun had to drop your stuff off.” Jungwon clarifies, and suddenly everything clicks.

After humiliating himself in front of you and his entire class, Sunghoon didn’t even think about dashing out of the classroom. To be honest, he just kept running, past his homeroom, past the front doors, and right out the school gates down the street. 

“Sunghoon!” Jaeyun shakes him by the shoulders. “Are you okay?”

He doesn’t respond, brain shutting down.

Sunghoon has to be wrestled into his seat. Jaeyun and Jongseong hold him down, trying to convince him to apologize to you. 

“Just say you’re sorry,” Jongseong holds him firmly down by the shoulder. “Yeah! I’m sure she’ll understand.” Jaeyun tries to stay positive.

“Please, please just let me go. You guys are my friends, can’t you just-” “We’re doing this because we’re your friends you idiot.” Jongseong argues. 

Sunghoon tries to argue, but is swiftly shut up when Jaeyun suddenly announces your arrival.

“Hi Y/n! You’re looking nice today.” Jaeyun sounds overly enthusiastic as he compliments you, his arms are not so subtly trying to get Sunghoon to turn your way.

“Hey Jaeyun,” You sound unsure as you get closer. 

“Nice to meet you, I’m Jongseong.” Sunghoon’s other friend greets you.

“Hi,” You say quickly before clearing your throat. “Um, Sunghoon, do you think we can talk really quick? In private?” 

Sunghoon shakes his head no, but his two friends decide to take matters into their own terms. 

“Oh, he’d love to! Right, Sunghoon?” Jongseong stares him down. Sunghoon clenches his jaw and rigidly nods. 

He’s released by his friends, and like a robot, follows you out of the classroom. He’d try to make a break for it, but he could feel both Jongseong and Jaeyun’s eyes following him down the hall. 

You lead him to a corner by the janitor’s closet, it’s a lot quieter as it’s away from the rowdy crowd of teeangers.

He stands far from you, not able to get closer than 10 feet. But you begin to close the space in between you, forcing Sunghoon to back up. Except he instead ran into a wall and found himself cornered by you.

“I was worried you wouldn’t show up today.” You begin to speak, stepping back and keeping a respectable distance. Sunghoon is as stiff as a board, eyes trained onto his feet. 

“I wanted to say I’m really sorry for what happened yesterday.” You suddenly apologize. “I didn’t mean to embarrass you. I had no idea you were scared of girls, Jaeyun told me after you ran away.” 

His best friend of the past eight years, Sim Jaeyun, revealed his most deepest darkest secret?! He felt so betrayed.

“But I want you to know I want to help you.” You say, and suddenly Sunghoon is looking at you (more like the outline of you, he still can’t look at you directly) with wide eyes. 

“I mean we’re seatmates and club members, we should be able to help each other out.” You begin to explain. “And Jaeyun kind of asked me to help you.” You add sheepishly at the end.

Sunghoon was seriously going to get his revenge on that kid.

“So what do you say?” You ask, rocking back and forth on your feet as you patiently wait for his answer.

Sunghoon felt trapped. On one hand, his looming fear of women was stopping him, but on the other hand provided a (very scary) solution to his big problem.

“H-How would you help me?” He coughs out. “I was thinking we could start by being friends? Maybe work on the small stuff.” You offered.

The small stuff, yeah, he could deal with that, right? 

Eventually, he nods, causing you to clap your hands together. 

“Great! This is going to be easy, I promise!” You grin.

It was in fact not easy.

All morning you would try to get Sunghoon to give you as much as a look in your direction, whispering to him random questions and facts to try and start a conversation.

When lunch finally arrived, Sunghoon had never run so fast to the cafeteria before in his life.

“I’m gonna kill you Sim Jaeyun!” Sunghoon is seething as he sneaks up behind his friend. Jaeyun’s signature smile vanishes, and is replaced with fear. 

“Sunghoon please-” “You told her?!” Sunghoon leads Jaeyun to sit down at their table. 

“How else do I explain why you suddenly dipped in the middle of class? I could’ve told her you had to take a massive shit, but I didn’t!” Jaeyun argues, tugging Sunghoon off of him. 

Hmm, touche.

“This was for the greater good, we all agreed on it.” Sunoo suddenly adds in. Sunghoon turns to his friends in shock.

“You guys voted? With Heeseung?!” He points to the (technically his) senior. Heeseung stared wide eyed, looking slightly guilty.

“We voted because you’re getting out of hand. Dude, my older sister ran into you at the supermarket the other day with your mom and when she said hi, you hid behind the cans of soup display.” Jungwon reveals.

“I thought she wouldn’t recognize me.” Sunghoon winces from the embarrassment.

Heeseung (awkwardly) claps a hand on Sunghoon’s shoulder. “It’s okay, Sungho.” “-Sunghoon,” Jaeyun whispers to him the correction.

“It’s okay, Sunghoon.” Heeseung pretends to have never made his mistake. “Everything will be alright.”

Sunghoon turns to him, lips thin. That one look has Heeseung’s arm falling back to his side. 

“Come on Sunghoon, stop acting like this. You already agreed to let her help you anyways.” Jongseong argues. The boy sighs, rubbing his face in despair. Even Sunghoon can’t believe he still agreed.

“I take it back, can you guys tell her I’d rather be a hermit for the rest of my life and never want to see another woman again?” Sunghoon asks, looking stressed. 

“Well don’t look now, but I’m pretty sure that’s her coming our way.” Jungwon points out, sipping his drink as he nods to his right. 

The younger boy proves to be right, you’re making your way through the crowded cafeteria, holding your tray of food as you walk confidently towards Sunghoon and his friends. Unfortunately for him, Jaeyun traps him down to his seat before he can run again.

“Hey Sunghoon,” You smile, waving as you stop at the head of the table. Jongseong kicks his shin, forcing him to respond. 

“Hi,” He grunts. The other boys snicker, finding all of this amusing. 

“I was just wondering if we’re still having Calligraphy club today after school?” You ask. 

Oh crap. With everything that happened today, Sunghoon had totally spaced out and forgotten what he’d promised the day before. 

“He wouldn’t miss it for the world!” Riki grins at you. The youngest sticks his hand out to you, giving you an enticing smirk. “I’m Riki B by the way, you like younger guys?” His question earns him a slap on the arm by Jongseong.

As Riki gasps from the pain, you chuckle awkwardly. “So I’ll see you after class then? At the old library?” You check, facing Sunghoon again. He stiffly nods, still not looking at you.

“Cool, see you!” You finally leave, going to eat a few tables away. Once you're gone, Sunghoon feels as if he can breathe again. 

“She’s pretty.” Heeseung giggles, earning quiet but strong agreements from the other boys. “You sit next to her?!” Sunoo sounds surprised, mocking the boy in question.

“Okay, shut up. All of you.” Sunghoon glares, his ears turning red.

“Don’t worry Sunghoon,” Riki begins to chuckle. “I won’t actually steal your girl, I’ve got my eyes on someone else.” He teases. “Just don’t get too butt hurt when she falls for my good looks and charismatic charm.”

Sunghoon rolls his eyes, deciding to ignore the youngest. 

“Speak of the devil,” Riki suddenly laughs. “Yo shortcake!” He stands up in his seat, hollering at someone.

A girl in the sea of students spins around, first looking confused, then angry as her eyes land on the tall boy. She promptly flips him off, before stomping away with her friends. 

Riki laughs, finding the situation funny. “I’ll see you guys later, with my new girlfriend.” He says confidently, dumping his food in the trash to go chase after the poor girl. 

“Oh this is gonna be good,” Jungwon begins to chuckle, pulling out his phone before following his friend. “Send me the video!” Sunoo shouts and Jungwon gives him a thumbs up. “I pray for that girl,” Jaeyun shakes his head.

“She’s gonna need a miracle to get rid of him,” Jongseong agrees. “Same way Sunghoon’s gonna need a miracle to get out of Calligraphy club today.” Sunoo comments.

This was always one of Sunghoon's favorite parts of calligraphy: the setup. Being able to prepare and organize before he wrote felt calming in the sense that it was a comfortable pattern. He opens his box, revealing his multiple brushes and supplies safely packed inside. 

Relishing in the silence, Sunghoon carefully takes out sheets of paper, placing them to his right. Using water from his designated calligraphy water bottle, he pours a small amount into his shallow ink stone. 

Like a machine, Sunghoon begins to sternly rub his ink stick against the stone, breaking it down and mixing it with the water to create the dark opaque ink. He sets this to the side once finished, taking a piece of paper, and flattening it out with his paper weights.

With a deep breath, Sunghoon feels his heart calm down to a trill. This was the most relaxed he’s felt all week. 

“So that’s how it’s supposed to look, huh?” Your voice interrupts his thoughts and suddenly Sunghoon is reminded of why you’re here in the first place.

Across from him you sit, copying him as you begin to set up your own supplies. You do so messily, but nonetheless, you get the job done looking satisfied.

“Okay! I’m ready whenever you are.” You clap your hands together, eager to start. Opposite to you, Sunghoon is silent as he begins to dip his brush into his ink, carefully calculating his brush strokes as he writes, quoting a poem he enjoyed. 

“So, are you actually scared of catching cooties?” You ask, not so subtle. Your abrupt question has him frozen.

“Cause if you are, has anyone told you that cooties aren't real? It’s just a thing kids say-“

“I know.” He interrupts. “I just…” He loses the words, grimacing instead. You two grow quiet again, the tension in the air is thick.

“What are you writing?” You eventually speak up again. 

“...It’s a quote from the poem ‘Flowers That Bloom When Shaken’ by Do Jonghwan.” He explains.

You nod. “Well I’m drawing a cat playing in a field.” You suddenly hold up your paper, showing him your art. 

If he thought your calligraphy was bad, it was safe to say you weren’t an artist either. “Looks like a second grader made it.” He mumbles. You huff, grabbing a new paper.

As you both return to writing in silence, Sunghoon is able to focus and finish his piece, setting it to the side to let it dry properly.

He notices you suddenly stop writing, setting your brush down as you lean back into your chair. You sit with crossed arms, observing him. This has Sunghoon feeling like his skin was crawling. 

“Sunghoon.” You call out. “Let’s play a game.”

He pauses. “I don’t like games.” 

“Too bad, this is a fun one.” You assure him. You sit upright again and lean against the table.

“We’re just gonna ask each other questions, and we have to answer them.” You say it like it’s so easy.

“What if I don’t?” He fidgets. 

“Every question you answer, you get to go home five minutes early.” You prompt. Sunghoon’s eyes flit across the room to the door. Leaving early sounded nice.

“We get three questions each, okay?” Sunghoon slowly nods. You clap your hands together, excited. 

“I’ll go first,” You clear your throat. His heart begins to race, palms getting sweaty, and mind running wild at what horrible grotesque questions you could ask him. 

“For my first question…” You hum. “Why do you like calligraphy?” 

That wasn’t what he expected you to ask him.

“I-” He chokes, blinking as he tries to formulate an answer. “I… feel calm when I do calligraphy.” He answers slowly. “I can focus better, and I can relieve stress.” 

“See? Wasn’t so hard was it? Now for the next question, maybe try looking at me and not the table.” You tease, and he begins to feel embarrassed. 

“Now you ask me a question.” 

Sunghoon shifts in his seat. There’s been something that’s been bugging him all day.

“Why-Why did you agree to help me?” He steals a quick glance at you, before opting to focus on the bookshelf behind you.

“Don’t get upset when I say this,” You mumble. “But you looked really scared yesterday at the science lab. I got worried when you ran off and didn’t come back. I thought I did something wrong.”

You were worried… for him? You two barely knew each other and yet you still stressed over him deserting you in the middle of class. Even more confusing, you thought it was your fault. 

Sunghoon feels his heartbeat slow down.

“Okay, my turn again.” You clear your throat. “Are you scared of like all girls? Or just some of them?” Your curiosity seems to have gotten the better of you. 

Sunghoon tilts his head to the side. “I’m normal around my mom and my sister. Family for the most part I'm fine. But I have trouble around everyone else I guess.” He sheepishly admits. 

“I see.” You nod, and as you turn slightly, he catches a glimpse of your pouted lips. You seem to be deep in thought. 

“My turn.” He speaks up, already prepared with his next question. You wait attentively.

“Why did you join the calligraphy club?” 

You shrug at his question. “We visited my grandparents for the new year. My grandmother gifted me a set. I wasn’t gonna use it originally but then my friend convinced me to join the club. You guys know each other, his name is Kai. He said you were really nice and that you’d teach me.”

Sunghoon knew Kai alright. Kai was very close to his calligraphy club senior Soobin. The boy would often hang out in the club room last year when Soobin was around. He had no idea you two were friends.

But what really caught Sunghoon off was how highly Kai regarded him. They didn’t speak much, as both were pretty introverted. The fact that their little interactions were good enough for you to believe your friend was surprising to him.

“Thanks.” He nods, feeling a bit better about himself.

“Okay, my last question.” You drum your fingers against the wooden table. “Why are you scared of girls?”

If Sunghoon was being honest, he had a feeling you’d ask him this. He’d expected it earlier on, but there was no doubt you’d want to know how his fear started.

His words clump up at the back of his throat, refusing to come out as you wait patiently. He glances at the door and is reminded why he’s doing this in the first place.

“You can take your time, don’t feel pressured to tell me everything if you don’t want to.” You assure him, sliding back into your seat.

Your words help calm his nerves, and Sunghoon nods as he takes a deep breath. 

“I wasn’t always scared.” He says after a moment. “But when I was seven, I got bullied by the girls in my class.”

“Everything used to be normal, but then one day I came to school and all the girls were whispering about me. They wouldn’t play with me, talk to me, they’d just watch me from afar and gossip.”

“And it was just me, none of the other boys in my class had it happen to them. When I tried to ask one of the girls during recess, she screamed at me to leave her alone.”

“After that, I just stopped talking to girls. I feel like I can’t understand them, I don’t know what they’re thinking, what they’ll do, or what they say. Even now, everyone’s always whispering about me like I'm disgusting.”

There’s anger in his voice as he finishes, and Sunghoon realizes his fists are clenched. He releases them, swallowing thickly as he tries to relax. 

He slumps in his chair, hiding his face in his hands. Despite how horrified he was right now, he felt a bit relieved you now knew his secret.

“Please don’t tell anyone this. You’re one of the few people who know.” He admits. 

“Okay, yeah. I promise.” You say softly. Your voice brings him some sense of tranquility.

“Why don’t we go home?” He nods solemnly, and the two of you clean up.

You two don’t speak again until you’re outside, the brisk March air hitting you both in the face, a large contrast to the warm temperature from inside.

“Thanks for telling me all of that back there.” You say, gripping your school bag as you two walk side by side (albeit a few feet in between you both, Sunghoon still wasn’t used to the idea of close proximity).

“Jaeyun probably would have told you anyway, that snitch.” Sunghoon mumbles. Hearing this makes you laugh. Something about it makes his ears turn red, and it's not from the cold.

“Oh!” You gasp, jumping up. “We forgot, you still have one more question to ask me.” You remind him.

Sunghoon begins to think, not sure what to ask. Unconsciously he turns, more focused on hearing your answer to realize he’s actually looking at you.

“How do you actually plan to ‘help’ me?” He raises a brow.

You look up at him and smile, giggling to yourself. “You’ll just have to wait and see!” 

You skip ahead of him before waving goodbye as you head down a different street on your way home.

Sunghoon doesn’t wave back, instead, he stands there in the cold as your figure eventually disappears. It’s then does he realize his friends were right.

You are pretty.

Log 2: Tuesday - March 5th, 2024 | Log 4: Monday - April 1st, 2024

I Can't, I Have Rehearsal masterlist | and scene! series masterlist | kpop masterlist

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[fakeusernamelol]

Teen dads Ford meets bad ending Ford and it's On Sight, bad ending Ford needs to eat the curb even if he's already sorry because Jesus Fuck and also Fords fighting Fords <<<333

DEAR ANON YOU OPEN MY MIND TO A LOT OF THINGS OMFG THIS IS AMAZING THANK YOU THANK YOU 🤤🤤💖💖💖

Sit down because I GOT THINGS TO SAY (tw: transphobia, mysoginy, LOT of bad parenting. this is going to get long guys but its worthy believe me 🙇) So you see, The bad ending au was not originally intended to be an alternate version of the teen dads au, it was just a silly idea i had because im a big pervert 🤭 but thanks to your asks i did notice it was the same base of the teen dads au so it ended up being an even more fucked up alternative version of it lol. Told you this because my point is that between these two the only connection is the fact they were younger parents and no more lol so stan and ford act way more different in each one because their story wasn't the same.

QUICK EXPLAINING!!! in the teen dads au Stanley ever since a toddler liked to act in a manly way. He used Ford's pants instead of the dresses their parents bought for him and never let his hair grow longer (when Ma finished cutting Ford's hair, Stanley would ask him if he could do the same cut to him with the scissors he took from Pa's desk 🤫) had no fear in showing that rude and brave behaviour and so he wasn't scared of getting into trouble with their parents or another people in order to have fun/keep safe Ford. Because he didn't look like a girl people confused him with his brother and he noticed he liked to be called with his brother's name instead of his, but because he can't be called Stanford too he would be Stan then! (Later with Ford's help he chose to complement his name as Stanley 😉) Because Stanley never acted like a girl Ford grew up used to see stanley more like a little boy than a girl, Ford joked with him about how different he was than other girls but he preferred him like that because he was way funnier and bravier and prettier than any other girl. On their parents side,they ended up giving up on trying to make stanley act like a woman so they just let him be that way lol.

Because of that, Stan grew up as the charismatic and confident guy he was as a teen and his relationship with ford developed way stronger because ford loved what stan genuinely was, didn't have any internal conflict with his now brother defending him or preferring to be called like a boy because it's been always like that and he's used to that. For the same thing that their relationship was better it also ended up on them becoming parents at 15 but it was thanks to having unsafe albeit consensual sex lol

On the other hand in the bad ending au stan didn't publicly come as trans to ford and their parents until he was 16 so the news was way more shocking, Stan was the mama's princess, Ford's lovingly sister and Filbrick's daughter. Thinking of her as a man sounded more like a joke than a serious thing so their reaction was pretty bad towards him.

With Ford things were also different, he was raised to take care of his little twin sister and be the second man of the house, he wouldn't let stanley play rough games or defend him because that would be humiliating for him. They did ended up falling in love but because of the repression Stanley was way more insecure and dependant to ford because he was his safe place and that helped increasing even more Ford's ego and make him believe he was tougher that what he really was. Both grew up with deeply rooted sexist ideas and ford thought of Stanley as his property, who would be his wife and the mother of his children. When that mindset got threatened by seeing his beautiful sister change her appearance to a more masculine one, he didn't think twice and decided to punish him for dared to do that and becoming parents at 17 (yes here they become parents later, so when ford disappeared shermie and mariana were 13, and about shermie...😬😬)

FINALLY ANSWERING TO YOUR ASK 😅😅😅😅 be sure teen dads au Ford would beat the fuck out of the bad ending Ford LOL, bad ending ford is impulsive but a coward, He learned to hit without worrying of any consequence so he isn't good at counterattack and preferred to hide like the shitty he is. Teen dads au Ford could had his troubles with stanley as usual but he would never ever dare to touch or disrespect him like that so he would be ANGRY of thinking a version of him was capable of doing so horribles things to his dear stanley, make him even sicker knowing that they didn't separate for ten years but not for good reasons anyway. Sick of how could he look how tired stanley was for taking care of the babies and not have the intention of helping him. What the fuck his regret would work for? All Fords have to bear the burden of having hurt Stanley at some point, but he did it with pure conscience, his regret was worthless.

Im also thinking about how sad would be a meeting between teen dads and bad ending Stanley's, because one had the support of his brother but lived more than 40 years apart of him, while one didn't live those horrible 10 years on the streets but instead lived a life full of abuse and reject from the man he loved 😢😢

At least teen dads au stan and ford did ended up sailing together and living happy together, bad ending au it's still complicated 😅😅😅

[2346khith]

AU retcons

So I decided to make a few retcon to my au either because of new ideas or past mistakes.

Sub Zero family name change: So I've been referring to my version of the Sub zero sister as Lisa Liang as I though that was her canonical name and that Liang was the family name. However I was just confused as Conquest Lisa last name was never stated and I just thought it was Liang from an unreliable source on reddit, @Laismoura-art aus and my own imagination because as stated in my bio, I'm a dumbass. So in order to avoid confusion with my version of Lisa I'll be referring to her as Kuai Lisa, using the Chinese tradition of putting the surname first though I may change this later down the line. Also, also, @laismoura-art, if your seeing this I just wanted to say that I am deeply sorry for the inconvenience. While my version of Lisa was inspired by yours it was never my intention to copy her nor is it my plan too. You've work so very hard visualizing Lisa into your own image, making her into such an amazing character and I don't want to ruin that for you. If you have anymore grievances about my version of her please let me know and I'll change them right away.

Sub zero's personality: Okay, this technically not a retcon but more like addon I forgot to mention in a pervious post So I made this long ass post about how my version of sub zero's personality is different from canon.

Check it out for better context. Everything said in there is true though there are some slight changes/add ons I'm here. Sub Zero personality is exactly the way I describe it in that post but basically, when I talk about my version of Sub Zero I want you guys to picture his personality as a combination of Sebastian Stan's Bucky Barnes(specifically Falcon and the winter soldier era) and Tom Ellis Lucifer Morningstar.

Basically he would have Bucky's tired of everything mentality, sarcastic wit, headstrong fortitude, loyalty, emptiness, major guilt, distance from others and Lucifers charm, impulsiveness, curiosity, insecurity, brutal honest, aloof of certain social cues, and persuasive nature mixed in with a calm demeanor, diplomatic mentality, calculative mindset and chameleon like acting skills. Again not exactly a retcon but something I wanted to mention.

3. How the reunion went. So originally had it so that Sub Zero reunited with his sister after he ran away from the cyber initiative, fled to America to find the other Earthrealm fighters, got jumped by the black dragon and left for dead in an ally way, until he was found and nurse back to health when Lisa found him. However after I wrote my Bi Han Irony and Pain, I wanted to implement some parts of Iwhat I've wrote there into my au so now in this timeline Bi Han was the only one who remember their childhood in America and told Liang about it and even told him about his plan to run away with him also wanting Liang to run away with him too though he didn't pay much attention to it, since he didn't have any attachment to his mother or sister that Bi Han would gush about. When the cyber initiative happened though, it was the only place he though be safe to go to so he actively search for it. This time he bad hurt from the Lin Kuei Cyborgs but he was saved by a mysterious figure(spoiler it scorpion) and manage to escape though still very injured and made his way to an address that Bi Han kept saying was there childhood home, lying there on the door step bleeding out until the door open and his sister rescues him. I not only wanted to change this because A. it wouldn't have made sense for sub zero to be taken down by a bunch of black dragon goons and B. I saw more story potential in this as unlike the previous concept he has no real connection towards his sister so there could be an ongoing arc from the start to the end of the story with them growing as siblings originally only be family through blood but growing into a true family.

4.What Bi Han gets up too. As stated before I wanted to implement some of my og timeline Bi Han theory into my au so I had to change Bi Han mentality and motives here.

Check the post I linked for more details about what I meant. But the long story short of it is that I thought Bi Han as a mama's boy that hated working for the Lin kuei and was going to use bounty money to run off but got "toasty" by Scorpion and is butt hurt his baby bro decide to stay with the Lin kuei. In this au his origins is the same as the irony and pain theory, being raise in America for most of his childhood until he and his baby brother were kidnapped by the Lin Kuei and forced to be assasins until Bi Han decides to plan that he would use bounty money he collect to save up on necessities and possibly property in America so he could run away and find his mother. Just like in the original timeline however he fails and gets killed by Scorpion. Just as he was previously in my au he was worked on Quan Chi to be revived as the perfect weapon only to get out of hands and escape though this time it wasn't because he remembers Scorpions killing and was pissed but because he the resurrection process alter different aspects of him including his desire for freedom causing him not wanting to be a slaved for Quan Chi. He still has scattered and altered memories but this time his motive is to find out who he is and the most common memories in head just so happen to be from America. So basically he goes off backpacking across the U.S.A hitch hiking through the states which could make for some funny moments. I also wanted to mention a way to explain why the lin kuei wouldn't play a big part in the first act of this au as in this au they do search for Liang in the U.S.A but they don't know where exactly he at and occasionally they end up running into Bi Han who just so happens to remembers hating people who wear the same symbols as these flying machines and so he ends up taking them down over and over again. One day he walking along the street until he walks past a cemetery and spots a name on a tombstone. He walks towards the tombstone to see it has his mother's name on it. All his memories end up rushing back towards him. And then he kneels, lay his head on the tombstone and cries. And cries. And cries. And cries. And Cries. For days on end he just cries at his mother's resting place never moving until one day Lisa is doing her daily visit towards her mother's grave until she sees a man crying there. She assume that it an old friend of her mothers and goes up to ask who is until she actually sees him. His skins gone dark, he thinner than he was and he was way older than the last time she saw him. But she knows what her brother looks like. The two lock eyes with each other. Then the hug and collapse. And they cry. And cry. And cry. And cry.

5. Black Dragon territory expansion. Originally I stated that the Black Dragon was spreading simply because they wanted more territory. However now I made it so The Black Dragon form an alliance with outworld for power and so the territory expansion is actually just a set up for preparing station for outworlds invasion.

So yeah those are all the retcons I wanted to make in my au. Again if you have any concept ideas or constructive criticism, I'm all too happy to take it as stated over again, I'm not a professional writing and I lack writing knowledge.

[scribeforchrist-blog]

Walking In Maturity & Love

MEMORY VERSE OF THE WEEK

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+ John 8:47 Whoever is of God hears the words of God. The reason why you do not hear them is that you are not of God.”

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VERSE OF THE DAY

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+ Ephesians 5:2 and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

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** SAY THIS BEFORE YOU READ; HERE’S SOME CHRISTIAN TRUTHS **

I AM WALKING IN LOVE

I AM MATURING IN CHRIST

I AM A LIVING SACRIFICE

I AM IN LOVE WITH CHRIST

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READ TIME: 6 Minutes & 30 Seconds

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THOUGHTS:

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    Walk in love, so what does that look like? That would look like Jesus, what he did when he was here. He loved everyone, despite their sickness and their nationality or ethnicity. He didn’t care; he loved them so much and ensured they knew he loved them.

   A lot of us won't even do that at all; he fed the people that followed him, he healed the ones that cried out to him, he taught them that didn’t know, and he spoke to each one gently; this is love, and when we walk in Christ, we must walk in a way that shows we love him. The verse says this to us today: JUST AS CHRIST LOVED US AND GAVE HIMSELF UP for us; He gave his life for us so that we may live. Many of us won't even give our time to other people in need. He sacrificed his life and time for us, and we must sacrifice our time to know him better and grow in him.

 Even though our actions need to be something that shows we love Christ and that we walk in love, we should be able to say I am doing this for the glory of God, and when we can say this and show it, we must ask God if its anything in our life that’s not of him and to help us to change it.

     Verse 4: “Obscene stories, foolish talk, and coarse jokes—these are not for you. Instead, let there be thankfulness to God.

     We can’t give God glory if we talk foolishly and make dirty jokes. I remember when I gave my life to Christ, I had to learn that there were certain things I couldn’t joke about anymore. It was things I had to let go of, even if it was all fun and games. I couldn’t because that’s no longer what God wanted me to do. We must give things up. It’s a verse in the bible that says when I was a child, I acted like a child; when I became a man, I put away childish things. As we grow in Christ, our mindset in him must change, and how we act and walk should, too. We need love to make this world go around, and that’s why some people need more love; many people will never experience that because they have never been shown an ounce of love.

   It’s areas in our life right now God is trying to mature us in, and a lot of us won’t let go of the petty remarks and actions; we won’t let go of the people we have out grown because we are stuck with being who we use to be and we wonder why God hasn’t grown us in wisdom and knowledge or grown our ministry because we are still immature in heart and actions Jesus wants our walk to match our walk in the natural we can’t hang on to what we use to do and expect to grow we must let go and grow and do it all in loving your fellow brothers or sisters.

  Verse 5 For of this, you can be sure: No immoral, impure, or greedy person—such a person is an idolater—has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.

  If we don’t know how to love and we don’t know how to show grace and mercy, we will never know how to become more; we will never inherit the kingdom of God,until we let Christ regulate our heart .

God showed so much love to the Israelites. He repeatedly took them back even though he knew it would be the same results because he needed to show us today that he can love us that much, through our mess ups and downfalls. Could you love someone that much?

  Maturing and growing in love go hand in hand. Often, we forget that love needs to be something we exude, not something we do only to the ones closest to us. We must grow to love everyone, and this is very hard, but when we grow and listen to him speak to us, we learn to let go and walk firm in him!

  Ephesians 5:2 And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

  Our verse today says walk in love, we walk in love by actions, not by words; words are just words; words can be spoken by anyone and don’t mean a thing, but when we speak it, and we show it, we are maturing , and we are then letting Christ grow us and show us how to love when we can’t.

  ***Today, we talked about maturing and loving others, and I always say this can be hard to do because I’m being transparent; it’s tough, but we must love even when it’s hard to do because every day we are allowed to grow, every day we are allowed to love someone. Still, if we are growing in Christ, we must listen to him and watch for the opportunities he’s given us to do this; a lot of us miss a lot of opportunities because we refuse to see his direction; we are still going in the wrong direction let Christ Walk you in the right direction today. ©Seer~ Prophetess Lee

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PRAYER

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Heavenly Father, thank you for showing us , we are sorry if we haven’t listened to you ; lord, we give you praise, glory, and honor! Lord, we thank you for everything we ask today to continue to grow us in maturity and let us see your way. Lord, help us to stay on the right path, lord. We thank you for this devotion, and we ask you to help us to apply it to our lives and to hear your voice when you speak in Jesus' Name, Amen

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REFERENCES

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+ Colossians 3:14 And above all this put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.

 

+ Romans 5:5 And hope does not put us to shame because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

 

+ 1 Thessalonians 3:12 And may the Lord make you increase and abound in love for one another and all, as we do for you,

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FURTHER READINGS

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Proverbs 10

Leviticus 10

1 Corinthians 15

Hebrews 12

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[good-beans]

hiii ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ i've always loved your milgram posts and was hoping to hear you talk about them more. it's a bit of a vague question but i was hoping to hear your thoughts about the characters or songs? or really anything that's been on your mind! apart from that i hope you've been having a good day (or night!)

!!!!! Omg thank you so much?? This made me so happy ;----; I’m sorry if this is more than you bargained for LMAO, I planned on jotting down a few ideas and then I just kept on writing..... I hope you’re having a lovely day/night as well!✨

So, I’m actually not that great with coming up with crime-logistic theories (timelines, cause of death, etc), but I’ve been really interested in the insights we get on characterization from the visuals – specifically looking at the image of the self each prisoner creates. The videos come directly from inside their minds, so these self-portrayals aren’t biased with any manipulation, or how they want Es to view them. I’ve been bouncing these around in my head for a while, so thank you for the reason to actually put them down somewhere! So here are details I’ve gathered on each of them: (And as with everything in Milgram, this is just how I understood the symbolism – if people have other interpretations, I’d love to hear them!)

I've been adding edits as the videos come out, it's through Double now 👍

Haruka: In T1 he definitely views himself as guilty and dangerous. Though it’s dulled with crayon/mixed media, he conjurs a version of himself that’s committing acts of violence even in his suffering. The fact that his younger self takes place as the victim is huge to me. I know it could mean a lot of different things, but my personal interpretation is that Haruka sees his younger self in his little sister. He’s been in her shoes, at a time his mother loved him best. He believes he is the reason she stopped loving him, so he hates this younger version of himself. And this leads him to hate her now that he’s seeing the similarities. I believe the crimes happened extremely recently, so it’s interesting that he portrays himself as a child in much of AKAA. He’s not trying to gain any sympathy with it, he still genuinely feels like a child because of how much he struggles with everything. I don’t know what it means yet, but I’m really interested that despite all the water imagery he creates, he visualizes himself sinking, but never actually drowning/short of breath.

Yuno: Between both her videos, we only ever see her, her, her. This is because her motivations start and end with herself. I know her situation relies heavily on her clients, but in her mind, the one who was in control the whole time was only her. She’s the only one she can trust to take care of her and show her real love. She got into her line of work to benefit herself, and she went through with the abortion to benefit herself. She's taking the ultimate responsibility for everything that happened to her and everything that she did. Though it makes me happy to see it framed as all self love, it’s also clear that she’s unhappy with her decision. And, when everything revolves around versions of herself, there’s only one person she has to hate... 

Fuuta: His self-imagery makes it really clear how his mindset changed between trials. In T1 he genuinely saw himself as the hero, the perfect knight-in-shining-armor. Once doubt started to creep into his mind, though, he suddenly portrays himself as a criminal hiding/running in dark areas. It also emphasizes what he was saying about he and Es being the same: the girl that he accused of being guilty turned to ash after being sprayed with his paint, and he starts turning to ash along with Es’ accusation and paint spray. I know people took that as his suicidal intent, (and while that’s still a thing he does express in Backdraft,) I actually think his burning is just his fear that he’ll die at the end of Milgram. Another little detail, but someone mentioned Fuuta only lowered his mask in BIO while he’s looking at his phone, showing that he was comfortable being his true self online. Meaning, he had to hide some part of him in the rest of his life. The original post said it was his sexuality, but I feel as though it’s just his general paranoia of living around warriors for justice who are constantly evaluating everyone’s behavior. 

Muu: Like I said, the mvs are unaffected by how the prisoners want Es to see them, soI was confused when people accused Muu of lying in T1 – that’s really how she took the situation! In her mind, that pain and mistreatment made up everything in her. Her being a bully didn’t matter then, because it was her being a victim that led to the murder. In T2, it becomes obvious that she does harbor guilt. No innocent person would imagine themselves as a monstrous, destructive creature like that. If she really saw herself as ‘queen bee,’ her self-image would be flawless and lovable. INMF also showed she wasn’t exaggerating when she said the murder was to free her: we see her self-image undergo a full metamorphosis and sprout beautiful wings to fly away after she committed her crime. Though she feels guilty, she still believes it was necessary to free her and is grateful for it. 

Shidou: I’m still working on something more solid for him, but it’s neat that T1 he’s expressing so much guilt, yet his self-image is engaged in very abstract activities (like gardening and eating). In T2 he’s chilled out a bit, but that’s the video that death is literally following everywhere he goes (flowers dying behind him, ghosts surrounding him). It’s also worth noting he has his doctor’s coat on for most of Throw Down, and then the only time he has it in Triage is at the very end when he’s vowing to help the other prisoners. I’ll get back with a more solid conclusion on his soon…

Mahiru: Like Yuno (and semi-Haruka), the fact that she’s the only one to appear in her T1 mv means all her turmoil at that point was focused inward. She saw herself as the center of her story, which isn’t necessarily a selfish thing. It means she didn’t blame her boyfriend for anything that happened, even though we know it was likely both of their behaviors that led to the crime. Still, she’s taking all the focus on herself, showing off all the things she did and failed to do for him. The fact that everything is styled like magazine pages hints that she genuinely sees their relationship as the picture perfect example of love. After all, she was just “being herself” when she got him killed. Even that deep in her heart, she’s convinced love makes everything glossy and perfect. T2 is an exaggeration on both if these concepts -- she still places all the blame/responsibility on herself, but with the doubt creeping into her mind, she now paints herself as a villain who's actively causing harm. She still believes love can make things seem perfect, but you get the sense she's become more aware that love wasn't transforming her, it was blinding her.

Kazui: So this is an interesting one. I know that the performance aspect in Half is obviously taken as him acting that he loves his wife when he’s fallen in love with someone else. However, the fact that he’s singing the song about how he doesn’t love her, while still on stage/in costume, gives me a different idea. His emotions are so incredibly repressed and fucked up that even in the privacy of his own heart, he feels like he has to act sad about her death when he actually has more complex emotions than that. Not that he’s happy about it per se, but the feelings are too complex for him to show even himself. (We’ve all been there, where even in our private thoughts it’s embarrassing to be excited about something terrible and we pretend we aren’t.) That’s why I think he sounds so different in Cat – he’s able to start processing that he may be relieved, or freed that she’s gone. Or maybe he’s just realizing the murder was indirect, and he’s allowed to mourn her without feeling personally guilty for her death. So I agree the costumes represent hiding his emotions, but I think it symbolizes him lying to himself rather than just lying to his wife. Now with Cat out, he also shows a shift of seeing himself more guilty. Rather than a passive character, his self appears as someone known for manipulation/deception/trickery -- someone in charge of the situation. He's coming to terms with his active role in Hinako's death. There's also a lot of his vices shown explicitly, like his smoking and drinking. He's painting himself in a much worse light as his guilt gets to him. (There's also something to be said about the whole thing appearing under a filter of advertisement/magazine style, but I have yet to form a conclusion I'm happy with on that)

Amane: The major thing I took away from Magic was the idea that Amane really felt isolated in her cult. She saw herself as a normal girl, but no one else is like her. The other children are all animals, and the adults in charge are animalistic or robotic. There’s such a divide between her and everyone else. She’s not living up to their religious standards the way that everyone else seems to be. With the adults, it could be the general feeling that they never listen to or understand her because of her age. In T2, she presents a new idea: she's struggling with how complex and contradictory the self is. The human psyche has so many parts and motivations, all represented by the marching band members. She wants to be good. She's flawed. She wants to help. She's hurting. She knows she's made mistakes. She thinks she deserves punishment. That punishment is killing her. The adults around her make behaving look/sound so easy, but at her age it's so difficult to be a good girl! She wants to show this to Es, since she believes her own misbehavior + following the rules is what led to her murder.

Mikoto: He’s got So much going on with identity and sense of self, but I don’t have a ton on him that hasn’t already been said lol. I’ve joked that the reason Meme got the most views is because it’s the mv that shows the most skin, but on a serious note I think it’s really telling that there are so many bathing/showering/teeth brushing shots. Those are the stereotypical times we’re completely alone with ourselves – cleaning off everything external so that it’s just us in our purest form left when we’re done. An interesting switch I've noticed in Double is that the two major alters never appear beside each other -- there's the reflection in the mirror at one point (and I think they're face to face in the last shot?) but we never see both onscreen at the same time. This is because each one wants to distance themselves from the other: Bokukoto wants to show he's far from a killer, and Orekoto wants to make it clear he's the one who was violent. Neither wants to be mistaken for the other, but it's much easier to do so since they look exactly the same in this video (no color-coded clothes or eyes or lighting.) A minor detail, but the fact that his own mind conjured up quotes around the word "savior" makes it clear that Orekoto is slowly realizing his actions may have gotten Bokukoto into more trouble than they saved him from...

Kotoko: I don’t have too much on her at the moment since a lot of her scenes seem to be memories of her actual life and are already in line with what she’s admitted about herself. Still, I think the running-alongside-wolves scenes reveal a lot. She very clearly works alone, but wolves are known for hunting in a pack. Does she have a pack we haven’t seen yet? Is there a reason she’s no longer with them? Does she just dream of running with one because she craves that belonging so deeply? @tokyogruel pointed out that wolves are known for caring for weaker pack members, and that there have been analyses of the Harrow wolves being Kotoko's family members. This is revealing a more prominent focus on family than she's made known so far. She doesn't see herself as an elevated hero -- she always views herself as part of a team, which can be seen in her 'deal' with Es and all her T2 commentary of their partnership (despite being their prisoner). She's always been working with and for others.

[simpfordemetri]

Hi,

Love your work!

Wanted to ask how you headcannon the dynamic between the Egyptian coven? Like between the mate pairs and between the older and younger members?

Thanks and hope you have a great week!

EGYPTIAN COVEN DYNAMIC

Hi lovely🎀

Really happy someone asked for them ,they have my heart honestly

To be honest i think they act mainly like a family,all those centuries together really create a bond you know? I know Amun choosed Benjamin because of his gift ,but that doesn’t mean Amun doesn’t love or care for Benjamin ,he really does and that’s why he is overprotective of his whole coven.

Yes, he avoids fights ,but is him a coward for that? Not really . I do not think so .He acted like Alistair , “not my problem so why should i get my hands dirty?” Exactly

And he had all the reason for that to be honest ,why did he had to get his hands dirty and make his coven being in danger just because DickDward didn’t use condom? Any of the other covens should have support him but anyways thats not the ask but i would love to talk about it someday

So i do not think of him as a coward ,me myself i would have told Bella and Edward to fuck off and take those Renesmee thing out of my sight please and thank you

Anyways back to the askkkkk

Kebi and him are mates ,he knew from the moment she were human ,that’s when he changed her and well the rest is history,you know mate bond and shit right?

Yes i know what you all are thinking .Yes she was her slave and yes they did have human slaves .The Romanians did too. And the Volturi eat their secretaries for interrupting and the secretaries are basically slaves for them too. So honestly not much difference between the three covens.

But Amun loves Kebi to death, however i do think he has an old mindset when it comes to relationships as well as Kebi does ,that’s why she thinks Amun as a man is the one who should speak for both of them

But still a normal mate bond ,they love each other and won’t leave each other side

Then they found Benjamin but as long as i know Tia were found later

Also some people says Benjamin and Tia are related ?I don’t know but its that true?

Anyways until they found Tia ,Benjamin coven bond with Kebi and Amun grows up as Amun trains him during his newborn years and helps him take full control over his power

Then Tia appeared and this is when i believe the Coven did separate a bit ,as they still together and protecting each other but now they all are mated and not sticking together the four of them in the same room

Benjamin and Tia spend all the time together training Benjamin’s power and Tia helping him ,Amun usually has coven work to do and Kebi help him or try to mantain the clean in the “house”

They always hunt together, the four of them ,that’s for sure

Benjamin sees Amun as a dad ,a clever man who knows well in life and saved him for a better life including eternity

Kebi and Tia did not get along too well at the beggining ,but Kebi nurturing side came out of the light and she loves spending time with her ,treating each other as sisters

And last but not least they do not want anyone else in the Coven .They got used to each other and thats all they need.

[ex-furry]

idkkkkk like. to someone who has been through a traumatic loss that has left them with grief and panic that will never go away, the idea of building or rebuilding deep relationships with people who haven't gone through something similar is so unappealing. i've said this a hundred times though. waste of time!!!!! waste of time. like it's just not my fault that no one else my age (exaggeration) realizes that we are all dying and that death will alter you permanently. it's not my fault that they're worried about stupid shit and do not care about EMOTION and PERIL and THE END !!! the irreversible end of everything. the termination of what your life was before this happened. the knowledge that it will never be the same again. ever. you can't reconcile with death and get something back. it's not my fault they don't get it. i'm glad they don't get it, honestly, but the fact that their worlds have not been destroyed by this kind of devastation is not my problem. yes i am kind of irritated that i am left with nothing but isolation among my peers who have had normal lives untouched by constant illness and risk of death. like what do you mean you didn't see your mom almost die over and over and over again until it finally happened. what do you mean your aunts didn't give you your mom's unfiltered thoughts in her final days because they were the only people she'd say that kind of thing to. what do you mean you didn't get lost in the VUMC parking lot with your brother and your sister-in-law after the doctor in the SICU told your family that they have exhausted every avenue.

my world is just not the same as yours. you know death is coming, but i know it's coming. it's a completely different feeling and mindset. you do not know death or how you will react to it until you experience it. it's always present in your life, but you do not understand it until it ruins you forever. you don't get it. maybe that's an obnoxious thing to say, but i kind of don't care. i'm right. i thought i knew death. i thought i was level-headed. i had recovered after i'd seen my mom go into heart failure. i'd recovered after i'd seen her almost choke to death while she was hallucinating. i didn't know anything and neither do any of these other people around me who haven't experienced it yet!!!!! and fuck the old people who lost their parents at an old age too. they don't get it either even though they act like they do. my mom was 49. yours was 90. NOT the same!!!! you're ruining my life further by being around me with your bill maher books and disgusting drag jokes.

we no longer have anything in common. i am here, you are there. you'll understand eventually. i'm not happy about that. you will see the fragility of your life. you will see how it merely hangs in the balance at all times. you will find out that one day can change the rest of your life for the worse. you will remember that day until you die. you may find yourself slogging through a swamp for months. that's how it is. you'll know it's not the same as it was!!!!!!!

[universetalkz]

Hello, my divine friend. Often growing up, and to the dismay of myself, my older sister and mother would bond over past lives and being 'old souls.' I recall vividly interrupting a conversation they were having about this, when I would rush in and try to get attention, and perhaps with a sneer deeper than was true and I imagined to he sharper, would call me someone 'new' or at least a 'new soul.' I have felt.lodt practically ever since, despite many steps forward. I only remember being hurt by it and now I fear trying new things or, revealing my true 'new' self. Do you perhaps have any advice for a 'new' soul? Or a rather, at least a lonely one, that didn't feel like she could look to the 'old' souls for guidance, as they were too busy judging her? All I have wanted is to feel like I've taken the right step forward and to be 'seen' by them. Thank you immensely for even taking the time to read this from me. With everything I have in me that means anything, namaste <3

Hello, my friend! What leads you to believe that their evaluation is correct, that you are what they claim to be a "new soul"? How does one distinguish if an individual is an old soul or a new soul? I would take this evaluation of theirs with a grain of salt. It seems as if they sense your insecurity, and sometimes when people notice insecurity in you, they prey on you for it. I want to say that I apologize that you are experiencing this and that you are feeling this way. Sometimes in this life, we get bombarded with the opinions and thoughts of others. You could be doing one million things right (although what is "right" here may be completely subjective) and there will still be people that oppose you or think you could be doing better. My point here is that, it may be easy to get discouraged by the judgement of others especially if it's your family, but you have to let their judgements roll off of your shoulders. It's not that their opinions aren't important, just that your own opinion of yourself should weigh much much more. The journey of self-love is the most important one. I think a great place to start is changing the way in which you speak to yourself in your own mind. Do you participate in a lot of negative self-talk? Are you your own worst enemy? If yes, this needs to change. The goal here is not to be "seen" by people who are judging you-- this will ALWAYS be out of your control. The control that YOU have here, is your reaction to them. You cannot make anyone think or act a certain way-- even if it really hurts, even if they are in the wrong, even if you shower them with love, and seek their approval. If you cannot change something, you always have the power to change your mindset in regards to it. There are a lot of things in life out of our control; many things out of our control are the driving forces for anxiety and depression. For example, being anxious about something that happened in the past will keep you stuck not only because it's interrupting your present moment, but because it is out of our control to change anything from the past. Changing the way your mom and sister are and how they act towards you just will not be a successful attempt...However, we teach people how to treat us by standing our ground and showing people the way we would like to be treated. All of your power is within you; you hold the key. You do not need their approval, they do not even need to like you. I know it may hurt to not receive their approval, but your opinion of yourself is far more important. I have gathered some quotes that you may find helpful in this type of situation. I apologize if my words are not of assistance; I hope I could have helped in any way. Feel free to ask me more questions; I will do my absolute best to answer authentically. Good luck on your self-love and self-discovery journey. Not everyone in this world will agree with you, and I assure you--that is more than okay...

"When you are evolving to your higher self, the road seems lonely."

"It's so freeing once you stop trying to convince people to see things from your point of view. Leave people to their perceptions. It is their choice whether they want to understand you or not."

"Everything changes when you begin to love yourself. You no longer send out energy of desperation or need to be filled from the outside. You become a powerful source within yourself that attracts better. The more you love who you are, the less you seek validation and approval."

"Do not feel the need to explain yourself. Nobody has to understand you."

“Do not take anything personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.”

"If you do not spend time getting to know yourself, you will end up absorbing everyone else's random and conflicting ideas about you. Knowing who you are on a very deep and intimate level is the best way to protect yourself from internalizing disempowering opinions from others."

“It is not for you to SAY who I am. It is for me to BE who I am.”

“I am not in this world to live up to your expectations and you are not in this world to live up to mine.”

It is a natural human tendency to number one, desire, and number two, to desire to be approved by others. Sometimes we lose our inner voice because we get caught up in who others think we should be. What do YOU think about yourself? Who are YOU? I remember one of my earliest revelations on my spiritual journey was evaluating which of my thoughts were my own, and which of my thoughts were just blindly accepted as my own. What do I like, instead of what people told me to like?

Pardon my language-- remember WHO THE F*** YOU ARE! Saying that personally gives me a small moment of laughter, but it also redirects me-- no one on this PLANET knows YOU better than YOU! Even your family. This does not mean that you have to cut them off or anything, but sometimes, you have to love people from a distance for the sake of your own sanity and to silence the opinions of others so that you can distinguish what is really you. This life isn't about "finding yourself" it is about "creating yourself." Become the person that you want to be. You see the way they have made you feel? Be the person that isn't like that. Be better. Rise above those that have hurt you, and recognize that you are not superior to them, you just hold no space for negativity or low vibrational emotions in your soul any longer. Forgive. You will set yourself free-- not the one you harbor negative emotion toward. PEACE & LOVE TO YOU!!! I have an exceptionally large amount of gratitude to any individual that took the time to read this. Did I help you in anyway?

Love,

Universe Talks <3

[chidoroki]

182 Days of TPN - Day 170

Chapter 170: "Together"

Years ago I had wondered if Isabella's conversation with Peter happened before or after she rallied up the rest of the moms & sisters, but I suppose this flashback within a flashback kinda confirms she spoke to the ladies after she received news that Emma & the other children were on their way to GF. Half of me still believes that it was a bit risky waiting so long to inform everyone else of her plan just in case she couldn't gather up all the support she needed in time, but the other half of me also understands that there always could've been the possibility of the ladies turning on her or not being able to keep the secret well enough around Peter. Of course we know now from ch181.7 that Isabella had already recruited Matilda, Jessica, Sienna & Scarlet to assist her about a month after she was promoted to Grandma, but having everyone contribute to the betrayal is certainly more ideal.

Ya really can't blame the other ladies for being so hesitant. The idea of rebelling against the farm and the life you've been forced to live definitely seems like a sure fire way to get killed, however, as Isabella explains, that you can suffer the same fate just by doing your job, just as Sarah did.

I'm always up to receive flashbacks on characters, but this is one of those rare occasions that I would have to pass. Seeing how hard both Krone & Isabella struggled to survive the farm system are more than enough for me. These quick glimpses of everyone else's training hurt my little heart already. Aaahh, all the women in this series are so strong. Even though death scares the hell outta me, I doubt I'd live through this nightmare of fighting every day and living in fear.

When the training is so efficient that they learn how to lie perfectly to the children in order to keep up the orphanage but also how to lie to themselves (unknowingly) about how they could obtain a better life.

Kinda funny to me how I'll skip pages during some chapters and other times I'll go all in about almost every little thing. Well, now is one of those times I'm gonna ramble a lot, simply because Isabella is involved (as if that wasn't obvious enough whenever she showed up in the past). I absolutely love seeing how angry she is about this cruel world. This hatred of hers has surfaced the day she climbed the wall and saw the cliff surrounded the plantation with her own eyes after Leslie was shipped out and it has been simmering deep inside ever since, so now after waiting patiently for about twenty years, watching so many children be sacrificed to demons, she finally has the power and opportunity to act upon those strong feelings and contribute to changing the world for the better and I'm just so immensely happy that she's able to get this chance. She deserves to get some sort of revenge 110%.

Learning that the fear we saw her show towards Peter during this deal in ch165 was only an act is brilliant. Now, I'm sure Isabella did have moments where she did feel scared due to the uncertainty of what her new promotion would mean for her, but the fact those feelings practically vanished from her heart in such a short amount of time is amazing. This woman was "free" for two days from wearing any sort of mask and jumped right back into that chess-master mindset flawlessly. The list is endless but chalk that up as yet another reason why I love her.

I wouldn't let anyone rule over me either, but um.. I'd make an exception if it was you, ma'am.

I may be giving her too much credit, but I hope she's saying that regardless of what the other ladies decide, that Isabella is gonna provide her children some assistance no matter who stands in her way. If the betrayal really only included her and the four other women already on her side, I'm sure they could've pulled it off. And yes, I appreciate that she sorta mimicked Emma's words to Ray in ch33 despite never hearing the conversation for herself.

Ohh, how this woman must be feeling after hearing her precious children still call her their mom after everything she put them through.. has to so bittersweet, mixed with relief and regret.

The combination of his exaggerated expression and panic next to her calm and complacent reply absolutely sends me.

What I wouldn't give for her to have a moment with her children like that. I mean, it kinda happens.. the hugs, the apologies and everything else, but it should happen more than twice. And definitely without the death.

Hearing her call Peter a boy never fails to crack me up. And I know she refers to Lambda when she mentions the methods he's okay with, but the way her mind also brings up Nat's broken finger is lowkey hilarious, as if she didn't break Emma's leg before. While the original reason was to prevent Emma from escaping, I can see how Isabella might think her actions was another way to spare the girl from getting shipped early (as extreme & messed up as that idea is). Peter just broke Nat's fingers to be a dick. Nothing more, nothing less. am i showing too much favoritism towards this woman? probably. do i care? nope.

As quick as a callback it is, I love how Isabella mentioned last chapter how Emma & the others destroyed everything and how she expresses the same wish now. Also, her inner thoughts make me wanna sob. All Isabella wants is her help her children, she could care less what they think of her. And for a moment you might believe that they won't forgive her due to the look upon Emma's face here.

As expected from our lovable protagonist though, she accepts Isabella's help once she remembers that she and all the other women were victims of the same harsh system they were forced to live under.

I can fathom how this pathetic man manages to secure a gun and escape from being surrounded without getting hit with a single bullet but whatever. At least no one else gets injured by him as he runs away like a complete coward.

Favorite panel/moment:

I've no doubt said this many times, but this is by far the best mother-daughter moment I've ever experienced in my life.

Even though we did reach the raid in the anime, we were denied this panel mostly becuase the second season didn't allow the children to carry guns, which is a terrible shame.. if anything, we were treated to a small smile from Isabella after Emma's "thank you, mom" though. Of course I'd very much prefer the above panel to be animated, but I'll take what I can get. I'm very easy to please when it comes to this woman.

[blackbutler-readerinsertsandjunk]

Could you please do joanne and o!ciel with a male reader, where the relationship is being kept a secret (due to same sex relationships being forbidden at that time)

Preferably each individually

aaaaaaa this made me sad :c

I tend to write in a universe that is, mh, a little lighter on the LGBT+phobia so that it isn't yet another thing for our poor babies to face, so, GAH MY HEART

This is, unfortunately, the way things must be right now. It’s not as if he wants to hide this big, important part of his life, but what’s the alternative? If this were public knowledge, not only would it have an impact on Ciel’s business, your reputation would also be tarnished. He doesn’t want either of those things to happen, because he cares about you deeply. You get flowers from him often, though, in the language that he can use to express his feelings without worry. (Red roses are a favorite, of course. Yellow acacia, white clover, and honey flower make appearances as well.) In addition, he’s without a doubt quite free to do as he likes with you in his own home — he’s given Sebastian the order to make sure this doesn’t get out, and his servants would never breathe a word. All that said… better safe than sorry. His eventual marriage to Lizzie is his cover for your relationship, and he suggests you seek out a similar arrangement. Until the rest of the world learns to mind their own business, he’s willing to set everything up just so in order to have a fraction of the life with you that other people have with their lovers. Even though it isn’t the full one that he wishes for, it’s what’s available. With that in mind, he’s a man who will take what he can get, and he will be working to pave the way for more tolerant mindsets where he’s able.

Ugh, this… this just isn’t fair! Why do people have to be so cruel, that they can’t just let others live their lives? It’s not as if you and he are hurting anyone or doing anything immoral! This poor man is just heartbroken that he can’t have what amounts to a normal life with you. It’s out of the question to go on outings while acting romantically, which wounds him in a way he can’t fully put words to. Despite the fact that he’s very much a shy, homebody type of person, he still wants to be able to go on afternoon strolls with you or sit under a tree reading. And the two of you can’t really do that without inviting negativity into your lives. He doesn’t want that; he can’t take it. So he just… stays home with you, trying to life as typical a life as is possible. His family, his parents and his older sister, are incredibly open-minded for their time, so he can at least do things like kiss you around them, as long as you two don’t go overboard. It’s intimate and sweet, but he’ll never be able to start a family with you like he desperately wants. All he can do is cuddle with you in front of the fire, reading every book the two of you can get your hands on… and pray that someday soon, attitudes will change. He… doesn’t know what he’ll do if he has to live his entire life with you so isolated and feeling as if he’s doing something wrong for simply being in love.

[seldomscilence16]

Whumptober day 11:

"All the lights going dark, and my hopes destroyed"

Animal trap | captivity | "no one will find you."

Fandom: Ducktales

Prompts used: All

Soooo this combines things with Donald in it, meaning small things were changed here and there. Including the whole Webby being April and May and June being clones etc. If you don't know my military headcanons for Donald, I have a chapter explaining it in the 'Dime a Dozen au'. Brief recap is basically he and his team (including Josés older sister) were held captive on their last mission and experimented on. Donald loses feeling in like half his body, and two members on his team. Any questions, don't be afraid to ask!

…

Donald really needed to just, stop trying to do things. Obviously he just wasn't good at it, wasn't made for this world of doers, was cursed to never be able to complete anything. He thinks the only people that were ever able to work with his bad luck without his detriment, were the Caballeros and co. It feels like every other thing he can think of ended badly for him more often than not. And yeah, sometimes that was okay, 'cause it was saving others, but he's so tired.

He had gone on this little trip, by himself, because it was rumored to have exactly what he wanted. When you have a family like his, it was hard to get them gifts. Donald always hated that he couldn't spoil the boys like he wanted to, but he could do better now. And this time, all he needed was the mineral he could supposedly find here. To make a compass for Huey, a boomerang for Dewey, a shield for Louie-and maybe a piece for him to sell, a dagger for Webby, a new leg piece for Della, a handle for José's cane, a new piece for Panchitos guns, and new glasses frames for Uncle Scrooge.

He had a whole plan, was even hoping he'd find excess for a couple extra gifts for one, but of course, why would anything go his way? 

He feels numb, flat on his back staring up at the sky, one leg is bleeding profusely where iron has punctured skin, something he should definitely take care of, but he can't seem to get the gumstion to rise. He wonders what creatures out here would warrant such a trap, and why it was on a path instead of off it, or he wonders until a shadow falls over him and a face comes into view. 

How many times will he almost die before he does? Especially for being a part of his family, or for the friends he has, he should have kept his emo stage and stayed indoors. 

"Hello Mr. Duck." 

John D. Rockerduck had disappeared after the whole FOWL thing went down, along with several other nemesis' of Scrooge. So why wouldn't Donald find him on his first trip alone? He would have preferred Glomgold, he did not typically use traps such as these- though Donald supposed the hired muscle might of- but as it was, he's got a leg clamped in a foothold trap, an old arm injury acting up, and zero quacks to give. 

"Finally I can hit McDuck where it hurts!" 

"Oh? Is your money bin bigger than his?" Donald knows that he's almost never understood, but he'd burst if he kept all his comments to himself.

"Had to be the noisey one though, no matter. Jeeves!" The lumbering half dead butler muscle comes into view, bending down and slinging Donald under his arm with ease. "It's gonna be over for you, and with Scrooge at his weakest, I will finally show the world who's better!" 

Laughable really. But Rockerduck can think what he wants, Donald can at least envision his face when he realizes he's failed once again at Scrooge's hands, even if he doesnt get to actually see it. 

Panch and Zé had worried about him going alone, worried about his mindset and all that. He can see why now, laying limp in an enemy's arm, leg useless, feeling less than spectacular. He should be angry, fighting, screaming nonsensical barbs… wow, it's a rare state to find him feeling meh without the anger. 

"Say hello to your new home!"

 

Before he can even look up and make a snip about free real estate, he's airborne with an undignified squawk. He sees smooth dirt on all sides for several long moments before he lands with a thump- only years of falling that keeps him from braining himself, though his body would still bite back with a 'hurts like heck'. 

"If you try and get out, I'd keep an eye out for the night beast the locals are all chatting about. Oh and don't worry, no one will find you. Bye Bye!" Donald can hardly make out his silhouette above him, hole so deep the light barely creeps all the way down.

With both his legs, it probably wouldn't be too hard, Donald has gotten out of worse, but with his leg as it is itd take awhile, and he would rather not take his chances if there is a night beast. One could argue it's not laziness if he's avoiding a larger problem. 

Ah, is that where Louie's brain goes? 

Well, if he dies here, his family will surely kill him again for dying so soon after his last almost death with the whole FOWL thing. Maybe Duckworth would let him stay with him? 

Deciding to be semi productive in the meantime, Donald grasps at the two springs on the trap and pushes down as hard as he's able, moving his leg diagonally and hissing as it pulls free. Casually ripping his sleeve off he binds his leg as best he can, grateful it didn't get to the bone breaking part. This is certainly not nearly as bad as his time in the Navy. 

He leans back against the compact dirt wall, cool and damp as the heat of the day fades. But with the fading heat goes the sunlight, and his hole is slowly filling with shadows. He and the moon may not be on the best of terms, but he wouldn't mind its light right about now. 

He jinxed himself, he should know better by now really. Shaking his head, curling closer to himself to keep warm, All the lights going dark, and his hopes destroyed once again. He'd just wanted to make his family some gifts. It was just supposed to be a nice easy trip. 

How long would he wait this time? Would they look for him? Was the effort of getting out even worth it? He scratches absently at the wall, only to catch on something solid. Curiosity piqued and reaching through the bars of his mind, he put more effort into his scratching, revealing exactly what he'd come here for. 

What irony, to be thrown in a hole where his objective was waiting. His laugh is on the edge of hysterics, as he finds his time occupied with digging. Filling a makeshift bag- his undershirt sacrificed for the duty- full of the material, he uses the gouges as hand and foot holds. 'Look at me being productive and stuff, ha!' 

Just as he reaches the ledge, thinking just maybe he could brush all this off and pretend it didn't happen, a growl echoes around him. He groans, dragging his leg over the ledge like the dead weight it is, and lays there for a moment. He ponders staying there vs running- or well hobbling- and ultimately his hard earned loot wins out. He rolls, momentums himself into a standing position, balancing on one foot. He glares at the nature around him and the dumb moon that still evades his vision and leaves his surroundings annoyingly shadowy. 

Before he can get his first embarrassing hop going, the growling is right behind him, echoed by a scottish accented response. He turns an unimpressed head to find Scrooge and Della on a bear of all things.

"Donald!" 

"That's a bear." Donald states it, hoping to remind them of their mortality- however vague it may be. 

"Bah, I speak bear lad, dinnae worry about it." 

"Uh, but maybe worry about your leg, or we'll be twinning from head to toe!" Dellas' flashlight aims right at him and he shields his eyes with a glare.

"Rockerduck is on his way to the mansion." 

"Oh good, Webby's been wanting to test the new defenses. Get on lad, we'll get ye home." 

"I was rescuing myself." Donald says, making his way around the bear cautiously, weird hop not even causing the animal to flinch. 

"We should have been here sooner, we'll do better, no more rescue worthy scenarios!" Della heaves him up, and Donald can see her worry up close. 

A strange thing, what ten years and several life or death scenarios can do to a relationship. Did they care before? Maybe.

He looks at them as they make their way towards the awaiting plane. 

Are they working on it now? 

Yeah… maybe they are.

[i23kazu]

HASKJDHASDKH TY FOR THE KYRO LOVE OMG 🥹 UR SO SWEET FOR THAT AHHHHHHHH <333333

and for yongjia.......... omg i'll take anything but something to do with his relationship/dynamic with his sister? i havent heard much abt kailah so far :(((((

(angst stuff is good too if you so wish eheheheheh)

SPSPPSPPSP!!!! I GOTCHU HEHE (psps. if anyone would like to be tagged when i post yongjia things, let me know! the support for him has been overwhelmingly sweet :"D ^^)

about yongjia and kailah

aaauuhh the twins. the twinnytwintwins

so yongjia is older than kailah, right? he's older by 4 mins... people expect him to hold it over kailah's head (like all big siblings do) but in reality, kailah holds the fact that she's younger over his head proudly

"yongjia can you help me pick up something on the way home?"

"no."

"but won't you do it for your most darling prettiest coolest most wonderful ever little sister? pleaaaaaase?" with batting eyelashes and all.

and of course he can't say no, that's his twin...

i mentioned yongjia dyeing his hair in order to be different from kailah when i first posted the oc list! he really went through a phrase..

he got sick and tired of people comparing him to his sister. growing up, they had the same everything. it was the "you're twins, you should have similar things!" mindset that the people around them had

he got sick of being called the quiet one. the antisocial one. the aloof one. the boy who they couldn't figure out why he didn't want to make friends, when his sister could surround herself with them so easily?

it did affect him little by little – he tried to do the same things that kailah did.. maybe it'd make him more likable? his analytical brain just tried to figure out why she was so much better than him. maybe if he changed, they would be on the same level and people wouldn't be able to compare them anymore.

i don't think it affected him that much until he snapped at kailah :') she asked for a wrestling match/tickle fight and he just broke down. he's not one to fight, he disliked play wrestling, he didn't enjoy boxing, he exhausted so much energy trying to be in high spirits all the time and he just couldn't.

kailah just wrapped him in a hug for a solid 20 minutes while he sat there and cried.

after that incident, he swore never to change himself to be like someone else. as a small, tiny (or not so tiny) act of rebellion .. he dyed his hair light brown so that it'd be different from kailah's.

if you think she was upset by it – she wasn't! in fact, she helped him to apply it and everything. it was quite sweet :3

but also yesss. the twins have a good relationship. there are times where yongjia still needs to fight the green demons, but she's always there to reassure him that he himself is enough and that should be good enough for him alone :')

occasionally, he's the one who sends kailah into fits of full-on belly laughter. and it's usually done with the most deadpan face known to mankind..

he's sweet. and she can be incredibly considerate, despite how brash she can be sometimes

they complete each other hehe :3 i love my heart and mind twins so much

[sisterssafespace]

Assalamualaikum beautiful sisters 🤍

A couple of days ago I received a " heavy " long ask as she called it, and it was on my mind the whole time, I just felt so helpless..

Today, after some reflecting, and the help of a wonderful sister, I feel able to write some things up. So here we go, bismillah:

@ to the anon with the "uneasy" brother, and wbo asked me for advice, I am going to try and keep this short and straight to the point my dear because it will do you no good to go around the issue. I have three major points to stretch:

1) the reason why I felt so helpless and couldn't really come up with a piece of advice is because Allahuma barik laki you are already doing what I can only advise you of doing: finding refuge in Allah swt, in prayer and duaa, you are already doing that, and in shaa Allah relief will soon come because whomever fears Allah swt, Allah swt will create a way and will make a way for them out of their calamity. That is why I would say to just keep doing what you are already doing, keep turning to Allah swt and asking for His help because there is no other way, you may want to make a habit of tasbeeh or sending prayers upon Prophet Muhammad ﷺ at least x100 times a day, it has been known and narrated that people who make that their habit and send a lot of prayers upon him ﷺ in their day find miraculous results in a short time in shaa Allah. - Another thought crossed my mind within the same theme is the following: you did mention that you have found your way to Allah swt later in life, and that when you were younger you had your share of " rebellion" yourself, but now Alhamdullillah, you are upon the truth and you are making sure to be a good pious Muslim girl, and whenever I come across such stories it reminds me of this verse from surat al-ankabut: Do people think once they say, “We believe,” that they will be left without being put to the test? [Qur'an 2:29] - Now what if this is your test ? Sübhanallah, we are all being tested, all the time, and to each their own specific test, I think if you look at the situation you have at home as your current " test " then maybe your reaction to it and your attitude will change, maybe you will be more patient, less reactive, less emotional about even the subtle acts that now cause you frustration. Does that make sense? Because if we change our perspective on the situation, we systematically change the level of control we have over it and our attitude toward it as well. So we can eventually move from a " my brother is doing this or that to me and I can't deal with it anymore it is a very painful situation for me " mindset to a " Allah swt is testing me with my family, and as any test this too shall come to an end, I have to be patient and I have to be smart about it and try and find out the lesson behind it " you turn the narrative about you not about them, you put the power and the control in your hands and that's how you raise above the situation! Which brings me to my second point:

2) You don't have to react to everything even literally everything they do frustrates you or annoys you in a way. Look sweetie, the villain in your story is also a victim of generations of favoring and spoiling male children in the household, a victim of a patriarchal misogynistic society. They did not wake up and decide to be rude/mean/insensitive toward you. I am not defending anyone because at one point we are all responsible for our actions, Allah swt has given us a mind and a conscious for a reason, but what I am trying to say is this is a more complex situation that in looks like, rooted in lack of parental knowledge and education on how to bring up healthy responsible human beings.. Once you see the bigger picture, you are going to take things less personally, you are going to be able to distance yourself and put your walls up to actually protect yourself and your psyche.. And you see, you tried everything, to protest, to yell, to tell on them etc etc, nothing is working in your favor, on the contrary, things always end up bad for you. Now, how about you actually try to ignore the whole situation, and not give them a reaction at every instance. If they're being mean or disrespectful, just retreat yourself, do not engage in the conflict, say astaghfirullah or la hawla wa la quwwata illa billah and move on. I want to actually make a challenge with you: how well can you ignore this person on a daily basis? Like if they're in the kitchen stay in your room until they exit the kitchen and the coast is clear or just go there, say salam and then pretend they don't exist, pretend they're invisible. I dunno I am just giving an example 😅 The point is: sometimes when we can't change a situation, when it is beyond our control, we just let it go.

Besides, I don't know how good you are at setting boundaries, I really don't wanna bombard you with lots of ideas, so imma let you digest the ones I have already explained. Nevertheless, don't hesitate to set boundaries even with your parents if you deem the situation fitting for that. P.s. a side tip: maybe engage in other activities outside the household? You have mentioned that you work now full-time I guess Allahuma barik laki, and that you are studying? Okay brilliant! But apparently that still gives you a few hours in the daytime in the house. Maybe also holidays and weekends. So how about you find a sort of volunteering activity that would help you give back to the community, and keep you busy and away from the house for a few more hours? Actually that would be beneficial for you in several ways, you would feel that you are doing something good with your time, helping people is one of the greatest ways to sense our worth. ( And that's also a way to meet great people ... Or interesting potential in laws 🙈) which brings me to my last point:

3) You did talk about your concern about how in the Future it would be intense for your future partner to meet your family. Well I have two things to say about this: a) I am sure everyone has their share of toxicity/ dysfunction in their families, no family is perfect, and if your future partner in shaa Allah will be a good man then he will understand - However, the way to go about it is honestly and openness, you shouldn't lie about it or try to paint a different picture from reality, and in return you should be met with support and understanding in shaa Allah. So do not worry much about this point exactly because if he is the one he will want you for yourself and he will not judge your family or your circumstances. b) from the bottom of my heart I hope that you do not use marriage as your " escape root " from your family's house. A lot of girls, unfortunately, do that. They want to escape so badly they actually jump at the first opportunity that presents itself without much thinking or seeing if the guy is actually a good one, and then they realize that they made a mistake. So, even though I pray Allah swt grant you a pious gentle understanding husband one day, I hope you don't think of marriage as your way to freedom and whatnot. I hope you don't make a decision based on the wrong motives. Does that make sense sweetie?

Well, I did say I won't make it long but look at me 😶‍🌫️🫣.

I hope I touched on all the points you mentioned in your ask or at least most of them. I ask every sister who sees this post to make duaa for you.

This was a collaborative work and we pray that Allah swt fills your heart with so much sakinah, calmness and patience to make it through this trial, and reward you immensely for your patience sweetie. May Allah swt soften your parents' heart and guide your brother. May Allah swt mend your heart and place such a joyful event in your life soon that makes up for all this pain. Ameen.

- A. Z. & @3ayyn 🤍🍃

[cassynite]

4, 5, and 7 for the OC/writer ask game?

<333 thank you for the ask!

4. What kind of music do your OCs listen to?

Uuuh never really thought about this before! So answers are subject to change BUT if I had to guess: Sparrow is big on lyricism--she typically likes songs that tell a story, like Step it Out Mary or The Maid and the Selkie (that kind of vibe as well--folkloric, mainly). She wouldn't say she's a fan of tragic songs but if you compiled a list of songs she likes the most there would be a melancholic theme lol. Vonzi works solely on vibes when it comes to music taste and will like anything she can dance to, with lyricism as a secondary or nonexistent factor for her. Something with high energy, changes in rhythm and/or tone, and dramatic instrumentals are gonna do it for her.

5. What are some of your OCs biggest fears?

Sparrow's is a toss between losing her freedom again and being unable to escape, and opening up to someone only to have them leave. Vonzi's would be the loss of her family, full stop.

7. What are your favourite relationships between your OCs? (romantic or platonic!)

Oh for Sparrow hands down my fave OC relationship is going to be with her brother Crow. Losing him fundamentally informs Sparrow's personality, but there's just a whole lot of stuff that Sparrow can't or won't process, partially due to age and partially due to trauma. He was basically tasked with raising her when he was a kid himself! There's a mix of obligation and adoration and resentment that bled into their interactions; she thought he hung the moon and adored him but also couldn't really comprehend that he was barely a decade older than her and treated him like her parent; he took care of her as best he could and thinks their parents are shit for leaving them in the first place but wishes that he was able to fully realize his own dreams without having to worry about her. Crow doesn't die when Sparrow's kidnapped, he's just injured and thinks she died, and he finds out she's alive when she becomes Commander years later. And he doesn't try to reconnect with her and never tells her because he thinks he failed her so fundamentally that since she no longer needs him she wouldn't want to see him! He grieved her but he was also in the most shameful parts of his mind relieved when she was gone and he can never live past that!! If they ever met again it would be due to coincidence or an outside force bringing them together, because Crow cannot approach his little sister after what he did to her.

For Vonzi, her relationship with her older sister Viritine is the most interesting to me. Viritine is harsh, exacting, and painfully particular--my notes on her are "can smell bullshit from a mile away" and "can occasionally pull a sense of humor out of the filing cabinet that is her brain." Meanwhile Vonzi's main character trait for her dynamic in the family is "is the bullshit" and her abilities cause no end to problems as the Voness family works to hide Vonzi's status as the chosen one of some mysterious deity. However! They are both united in the caring of their family; they are entrenched in the mindset that the only person a Voness can rely on is another Voness. They work together throughout their childhoods to care for their mother and their other sister. They argue and tussle and can't agree on anything, but to any outsider they are a unified front, both chosen by their mother to act as protectors for the family. When Vonzi "disappears" (read: goes back in time after her entire family is murdered and loses her sense of reality and her memory), Viritine takes it as a betrayal of the family and possibly never forgives her.

[rafent]

hibiscus :   how does your muse view the gentler ,   daintier things in life ?as things worth preserving   &   caring for ,   or things only bound to wither   &   disappear ?

HIBISCUS: How does your muse view the gentler, daintier things in life? As things worth preserving & caring for, or things only bound to wither & disappear?

On average Rafal tends to see daintier concepts through a detached lens, enjoying them and recognizing them from a respectful distance due to the strong impression he has toward being undeserving of those things.

Regarding gentler things like love and friendship, it's understandable considering the majority of his formative years and his entire adult life was spent as Nil's imposter. Any happiness he experienced during that phase felt like duplicity- precious moments and experiences meant for someone else, forming his imposter syndrome in a some literal sense of the term- and that mindset even one thousand years later takes considerable effort to change.

The time spent with Nel in Lythos was a stolen treasure in Rafal's own words. He reflects over it in the light of nostalgia, already measuring a retreat from his rights to their bond and not fighting to justify his place in it. Their bond being something he could reciprocate and enjoy, but not anything that would last forever due to the imposter role he played. Nel's gentle nature to Rafal would surely shatter once Nel understood who he really was beneath the facade, so rather than considering their time to be just a pleasant memory, it was also an hourglass on limited time, a joy fated to run out of sand.

Rafal: "You were so gentle and giving with me. So kind. I began to think of you as my one true sister...even now, the memory of our time at Lythos Castle...is priceless to me. But that treasure is a stolen one."

Examining him from another important lens, the beauty of the world is made more obvious to Rafal in his state of post-destruction clarity. Friendships, connections, and communal experiences- all things he reduced to shambles after the actions he undertook in the name of power and Sombron's legacy. His conversation with Ivy reveals a remorseful side of him that expresses empathy for the gentler, daintier experiences that he destroyed. He's asserted as someone who not only identifies the intangible things that others treasure, but sees their value and respects it.

Ivy: "Those unexpected connections are another reason the academy is special to me."

Rafal: "The Ivy from the world I come from must have had similar experiences at her academy. When I think of all the friendships she must have forged... and the effects of my actions..."

During their support, Ivy extends to him an equivocal offer of friendship for his good deeds as 'classmates'. Rafal not only seeks to confirm if the request is what Ivy truly wants, he also exorcises his desire for their special connection out of the equation. He'll be friends- classmates- with Ivy as she wishes, but not as he himself wishes, because when acting with penitence in mind he doesn't consider himself to be in any position to make demands of others. Because in the specific context of their support Ivy's alternate self is someone who he has hurt, the first royal he turned Corrupted in his original world.

Rafal (to Ivy): "If that is your desire, then it cannot be wrong. Your wish is what began this endeavor, after all."

Comparing his response to Alfred and his extension of a bond, however, the nature is somewhat different. Though Rafal thinks of himself as undeserving of friendship and love- the aforementioned gentler and daintier things in life- I don't see that always being the case, thus why I pointed out it being on average. Bonds forged on his own feet, as Rafal and not Nil, or without the distracting anxieties of redemption, are collectively empowering as they should be. It's why Alfred is presumably an illuminating support for Rafal.

Alfred is a weakling of comparable infirmity who pushes himself to be stronger. And more importantly, Alfred once given the full mast of Rafal's sins returns a response of acceptance, eliminating that worry entirely. When given the chance to be 'brothers', Rafal then accepts his offer with only the protest that he be considered the elder brother and not the younger one between them. It shows that Rafal when weighing himself separate from his need to repent and to be emotionally abstinent can and will engage in the playful interactions that resemble normal life. He can find it in himself to chase after the kind, gentle things he used to spurn.

[choshasan]

random rant caused by a dumb argument with my mother last night ✨️

I never liked generation wars and shitting on other generations and bashing them, because stereotyping a generation on just it's bad people is dumb as fuck,

But istg, Gen X is the only generation I've personaly encountered that like..

One person, or one person and their imediate friend group, does [x] and then you tell them, heyy.. uhm.. y'know.. that's.. pretty fucking rude, right? And they be like

NO. Everyone does that! You should change your mindset and go out more if you don't notice everyone does that!

Like????

I literally had a horrible argument with my mother last night cuz we stopped at a drive through and she started off with "you're gonna give me" (in french "Tu vas m'donner") and I told her "hey. You're not gonna talk to the worker like that, she's a human not your bitch, and that's rude as fuck, we don't talk to people like that, that ain't how you fucking raised me." And she went on this entire rant about how everyone talks like that and how that's fully acceptable to talk to workers like that and it's not rude and if I can't see that everyone talks like that, then I need to get out of the house more. And just so much more nonsencical Shit and like ?!?!?!

Bitch what??

Literally, 1. You work custommer service, I KNOW you don't got people talking to u like that all day, cuz I can hear them talking to u on the phone and the vast majority of them are super fucking polite.

And 2. I GO OUT MORE OFTEN THAT THIS BITCH BRUH!! Like, she goes out once or twice a week, to buy groceries and shit, and then she be like i KnOw hOw ThE wOrLd Is BeCaUsE i HaD a LiFe In ThE '70s AnD '80's

Like gurl- wake the fuck up. It's not socailly acceptable anymore to call women "skirts" and smoke indoors and smack ur waitress on the ass cuz she's cute or whatever. Y'all just old, entitled as fuck, and reffuse to let go of the past.

And like, I know it's not all Gen X, cuz most of the people I know's parents are Gen X, and they're such kind and accepting people who accept the changing of times and recognise that someday, the world will be left to the younger generations, so they gotta addapt to them and make the world a better place for them,

But jesus fuck the entitled Gen X who act like it's the fucking 40's - 60's still in the fucking 2000s, like?! You've had 40+ years to addapt bruh, where'd your brain fucking stop??? I know change is scarry and you won't always understand the younger generations and the weird shit we do, but remember, you guys did weird shit too when you were young, and your parents were assholes about it, and you resented them for not understanding you.. like?? Remember Queen?? They had a whole music video where they cross dressed. Remember the beasty boys?? Who did satirical rap-rock?? Remember twisted sister?? Kiss?? And all those other bands??

And most importantly, remember how you were taught basic human respect?? Remember that first retail job you really didn't like when you had rude clients but you didn't have a choice to put up with them because you needed the job?? Or maybe even you chewed them out and kicked theor asses cuz you didn't care, you could just get another job??

Lets not make others lives a hell for no reason, kay? Lets be kind and polite to eachother, cuz seeing grown ass adults be more impolite than a toddler is legit embarassing bruh- 💀

And god knows how much y'all care 'bout appearances 💀