#one of my many problems

[brokenmusicboxwolfe]

Today I was telling Mom about something I watched (a mediocre vampire film) , and as I got talking I wondered why never has a certain sort of character. It occurred to me would be a natural, yet in decades of watching and reading I have never once encountered anyone like them.

So I started going on about it, and Mom was getting interested even though she was tired. Suddenly I said, “Now THAT’S the character I want to read about!”

Damn.

No really. Damn. It would take a lot of work to get right, and time I don’t have, and OMG the research, and…

Still, I said to Mom that I really needed to go write the idea down. Maybe I would actually do something with it.

But then I was busy. Really busy.

Just before the post office closed I popped in to mail Mom some jelly. To my surprise someone recognized me from high school even though we hadn’t seen each other in decades. While I was scrambling to remember who they were, I did kind of a lousy job of asking about them while trying to answer their questions.

And what was about the first thing they asked?

“Did you ever write that book? You always said you were going to write one.”

Did I? I was always writing in my notebooks but I don’t remember ever telling anyone. I wanted to, just because all my brain was good for was daydreaming and that the only practical use I could figure for it. I just don’t remember talking about it.

Geez, maybe I did. I’ve had my old elementary school teachers nag me every time I run into them for not writing a book. “I expect you to have published a children’s book by the next time I see you!”

BTW! I have never intended to write children’s books. Undisciplined sprawling epics about grumpy outcasts saving the day through decidedly un-child friendly means with bittersweet endings only the victorious but traumatized know, sure. But what these people expect I don’t think I’m capable of, at least without ending up banned by some schools! LOL

“Did you ever write that book?”

It haunted me.

I went to rest my poor ankle before the last push of on my feet for the day. I flopped for 15 whole minutes, an eternity of rest for me, and what did my brain do for that time? Think about that character I’d mentioned to Mom!

My brain was obsessed. If they are this, then what would encountering that mean. How would this detail impact their past? How would their present be? Would they fit in the world or would the world of the story have to shift a little for them. In just a few minutes I had spun an ever increasing web around them.

Double damn!

I had an idea for a character I REALLY want to see, and the universe seems to be trying to nudge me into writing it…..

But I have no story. No plot. Just a character.

I thought tonight, feeling so energized by the ideas, I’d work on it.

Life didn’t let that happen. Too much to do, too little time, and always the exhaustion that mushes my brain too much for ideas to find a space.

The character is going to fester away in my mind, a sore place that won’t quite heal until I cut it open and let it bleed out onto the page. Or a sculpt. Or one of my silly painted boxes.

Unless life gets too much in the way. Then given enough time it will heal, but a messy healing that leaves a scar that no one else will see. But I will know it’s there, a reminder of the wounding an idea unused can cause.

[gibbearish]

love when ppl defend the aggressive monetization of the internet with "what, do you just expect it to be free and them not make a profit???" like. yeah that would be really nice actually i would love that:)! thanks for asking

[unforth]

Y'all have got to stop virulently hating men. Like, I'm sorry, I fucking hate the patriarchy too, but the patriarchy isn't just men and saying it is just exculpates complicit women. I am the mother of a young boy, and I look at this precious, empathetic 8 year old boy I'm raising and I don't know where online is safe for him. Places like this will say he's evil just for his gender, and other places will say "we'll be your friend if you hate with us," and still others will radicalize him in other ways. Where is he supposed to go? Why are we saying the radicalization is the fault of the kids just trying to find a place to hang?

Like this is seriously getting urgent. You have got to fucking stop conflating the patriarchy and men. 53% percent of white women voted for Trump. Men aren't the problem. White supremacy and Christian patriarchal structures are two examples of patriarchy-reinforcing structures that aren't solely couched in maleness. Men aren't the problem, and pretending they are drives more men into more welcoming extremist spaces and also ignores all the parts of this that are forwarded by people who aren't men.

What I see happening all over is scared, depressed, lonely people looking for someone they're allowed to hate automatically, unquestioningly - someone they're allowed to place all the blame on. Fascism says people of color, non-Christian people, queer people, etc., are the ones they're allowed to hate.

And way too many of yall answer that no, it's leftist to hate men instead. You are doing *the exact same thing they are.*

Fucking knock it off.

The answer is we're not supposed to hate anyone automatically based on their immutable personal characteristics. Hate the specific people who've hurt you. Hate the self-reinforcing systems that let them get away with hurting you. Hate the strangers who prop up those systems. Hate the fascists. Hell knows I hate Donald Trump, but it's not because he's a man, it's because he's a piece of shit.

Hate the pieces of shit, not the gender.

But don't hate men just because they're men. That's unhelpful, stupid, insane, and entirely counterproductive. Fucking. Stop.

[knightofleo]

Angela Orosco Silent Hill 2

[inkskinned]

the thing is there's like, a point of oversaturation for everything, and it's why so many things get dropped after a few minutes. and we act like millennials or gen z kids "have short attention spans" but... that's not quite it. it's more like - we did like it. you just ruined it.

capitalism sees product A having moderate success, and then everything has to come out with their "own version" of product A (which is often exactly the same). and they dump extreme amounts of money and environmental waste into each horrible simulacrum they trot out each season.

now it's not just tiktokkers making videos; it's that instagram and even fucking tumblr both think you want live feeds and video-first programming. and it helps them, because videos are easier to sneak native ads into. the books coming out all have to have 78 buzzwords in them for SEO, or otherwise they don't get published. they are making a live-action remake of moana. i haven't googled it, but there's probably another marvel or starwars something coming out, no matter when you're reading this post.

and we are like "hi, this clone of project A completely misses the point of the original. it is soulless and colorless and miserable." and the company nods and says "yes totally. here is a different clone, but special." and we look at clone 2 and we say "nope, this one is still flat and bad, y'all" and they're like "no, totally, we hear you," and then they make another clone but this time it's, like, a joyless prequel. and by the time they've successfully rolled out "clone 89", the market is incredibly oversaturated, and the consumer is blamed because the company isn't turning a profit.

and like - take even something digital like the tumblr "live streaming" function i just mentioned. that has to take up server space and some amount of carbon footprint; just so this brokenass blue hellsite can roll out a feature that literally none of its userbase actually wants. the thing that's the kicker here: even something that doesn't have a physical production plant still impacts the environment.

and it all just feels like it's rolling out of control because like, you watch companies pour hundreds of thousands of dollars into a remake of a remake of something nobody wants anymore and you're like, not able to afford eggs anymore. and you tell the company that really what you want is a good story about survival and they say "okay so you mean a YA white protagonist has some kind of 'spicy' love triangle" and you're like - hey man i think you're misunderstanding the point of storytelling but they've already printed 76 versions of "city of blood and magic" and "queen of diamond rule" and spent literally millions of dollars on the movie "Candy Crush Killer: Coming to Eat You".

it's like being stuck in a room with a clown that keeps telling the same joke over and over but it's worse every time. and that would be fine but he keeps fucking charging you 6.99. and you keep being like "no, i know it made me laugh the first time, but that's because it was different and new" and the clown is just aggressively sitting there saying "well! plenty of people like my jokes! the reason you're bored of this is because maybe there's something wrong with you!"

[ninjasmudge]

Maid-fu Lamba

here is some context for why theyre maids

[vita-divata]

Noatak running errands in civilian disguise I made for him <3

[thebarrows]

put them in a room together and no one will come out alive (●'◡'●)

[thewanderingmask]

so yea

1-2 months of on and off effort later IT'S MY FIRST EVER HERMITCRAFT (by which i mean exclusively tango tek) ANIMATIC

IN WHICH A MAN TALKS ABOUT BINARY FOR ALMOST 3 MINUTES (it's based actually. and was really fun to animate)

[lilybug-02]

Some Symptoms of ADHD from Someone who is diagnosed:

Forgetfulness that impacts daily life

Difficulty remembering others names and even faces

Hard to stop fidgeting or moving when bored. Difficult to stop even when aware

Hyperfocus

Lack of motivation in tasks, even more so when external motivations are not given

Difficulty in being organized for extended periods of time

[[Symptoms of Adult ADHD]]

[pinacoladamatata]

0.02 seconds apart at the winter palace.jpg

[offkilterkeys]

The world isn’t ready for my alpha kid readings.

[anna-scribbles]

they should've been at the club(infertility treatment centers)

[notherpuppet]

I KNOW YOU USUALLY DRAWING RADIOAPPLE BUT I JS WANNA SAY I LOVE HOW YOU DRAW ALASTOR AND HUSKS RELATIONSHIP THE TOXIC OLD MAN YAOI IS AMAZING!!!!!11

I’M MULTISHIPPER AF

I know the majority of my fanart is radioapple (I just think of too many antics for them haha) but I like to travel on many ships 🚢

I am limited by my drawing hand and the hours in a day 😭

[spyres]

isat: explores the concept of found family outside of the expected nuclear family dynamic. goes even further by being explicitly against the idea of a found family always being nuclear, and shows this by having the characters cringe and express discomfort at the idea of being assigned specific roles. wants you to accept its found family being an amorphous blob

isat fans who don't understand themes outside of fandomized incorrect quote blogs: okay but what if odile was the mom friend and the rest of the group are her kids

[deoidesign]

Return date for my webcomic, Time and Time Again!

It's been set for a while but sometimes they change the date without warning, so I'll keep you updated if anything changes!

I'm extremely proud of the work I've been doing on it, I can't wait to share everything!

See you then!