#one of my favorite games ever created and it's so hard to talk about bc it's best played as blind as possible

[kcdoos]

GHOST TRICK HEADS WE WON

[some-stars]

i have my askbox closed rn bc of the scam spam so @petralemaitre sent me this meme directly:

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers! Spread the self-love 💞

i have 62 to choose from but honestly i already know what my favorite 2 things i've ever written are so this will be fairly quick.

A quite unlosable game (dark angel, alec/max, alec/various): this is it! this is the favorite! it's my most beloved show of all time and i had Things to Say and it took me ten years (off and on) but i did say them! very well! i started it in 2008 so my memories are vague but i wrote it pretty much in order--the first idea i had was the almost-pubescent X5s being lectured on how their hormones were going to be manipulated. it was a science fiction story for me, before anything else, because it's a science fiction show that didn't get a chance to explore SO much of the juiciest most interesting concepts it put forth. and it was also me thinking about how the show at first fumbled, then did SO right by the eye-rollable "max goes into heat" concept. like when it comes up in the second episode it's treated completely as a joke, but when it happens again at the end of the first season--when we've bought in to the basic premise and established trust--it's treated as the terrible, sad violation that it is. so i thought, well, how could i pursue that thread further? and. so. yeah. love this story forever, best thing i ever wrote, does exactly what i wanted it to do and does it almost perfectly.

The absolute absurdity of end-series items (house of leaves): my other favorite thing i've ever written! i don't think this is quite as perfectly executed, but it's pretty close, and certainly no one else has done it better so that makes it successful by default. house of leaves is one of my favorite books of all time and i have SO many thoughts about it and all the things that it DOES. some of which the culture at large has acknowledged and much of which i've never seen anyone else talk about, the latter specifically being how rich and welcoming it is to feminist interpretations. which i could never manage to write the essay about that i wanted to, but it's all just in this fic instead.

children's work (the witcher, geraskefer): gonna cheat and put the whole series. it's kind of hard for me to love this one because i can see ALL the seams, especially in the second and third stories where i was trying so many new things as a writer and flailing around so much. but taken as a whole it's the longest single work i've ever created, and the response to it utterly blew me away. people loved this series, so so so much, it's been four years and i kind of still can't process it. this is the story that i think about when i feel like i've never had any kind of effect on the world and nothing i've ever done mattered to anyone. because this series made a lot of people very happy, and that's nice. (also i LOVE when i can come into a fandom and write something that nobody's done before. it boosts my ego like crazy. not that the concept of the fic itself is original--i lifted a LOT of the emotional beats from an extremely good SPN fic i read way back in the day--but no one had done a serious take on it in witcher fandom yet.)

felt it in my fists (teen wolf, allison/lydia): i was Deep into this show for like half of one summer, but i hated (and continue to hate) sterek so there was not a lot on offer for me. but there was femslash! idk, i just really like this story and it's special to me for reasons i can't really identify.

put on the red light (deadpool & wolverine): i don't necessarily like this MORE than my other fics in the fandom but i do feel like it's different and therefore special. it's very rare for me to write explicit high-key emotional conflict and fighting, bc it tends to give me bad anxiety, but MAN i loved writing the big screaming fight in this one. they both fully believe they're breaking up because the other one betrayed them in the most painful way imaginable, and it's awful, and i love it.

im not gonna send the meme to anyone else but if you are reading this please consider yourself tagged!

[gornackeaterofworlds]

ask game ask game! 8, 9, 28, 33 pretty please!

Hi lucky!!!! Ask game ask game!!!

8.) Which turtle is usually your favorite?

Hard to say, I haven't actually watched a ton of TMNT. But Leo or Donnie. Pissy asshole daddy's boy and tired slightly deranged mother hen are always safe bets, some interpretations of raph are too angry or not angry enough for my liking, and I might be in the well but there's some interpretations of Mikey that i dislike enough for me to not say him

9.) Who is your favorite version-specific turtle?

Augh this is really hard. Rise? Leo. There's so much angst and sadness crammed into this little man. Bay? Raph. Similar reasoning, but he's a huge man

28.) What is one thing you would like to see explored more in TMNT art/fics?

Oh man I hope no one feels called out bc you should make what you wanna make. I don't have any peeves with art really, but in writing I really crave a reader that isn't fucking stupid just for plot convenience. I can understand that in-universe it might be a logical decision, but if it just causes agonizing miscommunications or fights, which I really try to avoid, I'm not going to feel connected reading it. And I was talking with a friend today also, wanting more actual gender neutral reader stuff haha. Things like more androgynous and comfortable clothing(no heels, bras with hooks, jewelry, dresses, specifically mentioned clothing, lace, etc), ambiguity about genitals(I've seen very gn fics only use descriptions that can apply to afabs and amabs both), that kind of thing. I'm a fem fluid person, so I suffer less, but genderless and masc people kinda get shunted. Last peeve, I want realistic height comparisons. I know most people aren't as short as me, 4'11, but you're not "standing on your tiptoes" and kissing a 6'5 man on the cheek, or having a 6'8 man barely lean to rest his head on yours/your shoulder. It pulls me out immediately

33.) What is your favorite thing you've made for TMNT?

This is so hard!!! Torture!!!!!! I've made so much, but it's hard because I...really don't like a lot of what I've made. I never have, I don't think I ever will. Artwise? Uhhh. I honestly can't say. Every time I try to say a piece, I find something to pick apart. The first gift for khaya, I don't like something about it. The second gift, there's something else. Any set of au stuff I've done, there's mistakes I made. Story/writing wise? Butterfly Effect. Ofc Danii created it, and the comic is outdated, simple and I don't like it, but this is a full story here. It's an iteration, the length of TV shows. It consumes me.

[kart0]

August 15th - My 22nd Birthday

Can't say it was a perfect day, or even a good day. It went pretty shitty, as it usually does. Nothing too bad, but small things added up and then I just couldn't hold myself together anymore. I've been dealing with pain in my arms for quite some time now, went to the doctor twice, and now started physical therapy. Haven't been able to draw and had to postpone some commissions which took a toll on me. Can't draw to relax, nor play games, nor cook, nor do literally anything.

My dad got mad at me for a mistake he did.

Tried to bake some cupcakes to give to my friends at uni but everything went wrong, I worked so hard on it, left my wrists burning in pain only to just fail.

My classmates sung happy birthday to me, which would've been nice if we were in a private room, instead of being in class with every single colleague of mine and even the professor. Whom which I highly dislike. It was very embarrassing and I felt weird.

I wanted to walk alone home to wind down but one of my friends insisted on walking together because it was my birthday and I shouldn't be alone, but I really needed some alone time to get myself together.

Couldn't find my favorite comfort ramen ( neoguri ) for weeks and it's been driving me crazy.

I didn't have lunch bc I was stressed with the cupcakes, only to end up deciding not to take them with me, so I was hangry and sad.

Some people I considered dear friends didn't even send me a happy birthday message, and even planned a birthday party to a different friend whose birthday is in a few days.

I was so upset, we went out for dinner and just seeing my dad made me start crying again. I didn't get to enjoy any of the food because I was crying and couldn't taste anything and that made me even more upset. And it was very painful to hold chopsticks so I ended up only having 3 slices of sashimi for dinner.

I couldn't stop crying at all and ended up sobbing for two hours straight, even though I was trying my hardest to stop. I couldn't control myself.

We went to the movies and watched Coraline, and I managed to distract myself and just pay attention to my favourite movie ever.

We got home, cut my cake and talked a bit about silly things and funny stories and that's when I finally felt content.

I think I don't really like celebrating my birthday. I don't like being the center of attention, and I create these high expectations that people will do these crazy things and love me and it'll be fun and amazing and perfect. Which obviously just makes room for disappointment.

I like the day before my birthday, and the day after my birthday, but never my birthday. I always, always get sad.

I do think it's no one's fault, tho. Just unlucky, and a coincidence. But it does make me wonder if I will ever have a good, happy birthday celebration.

Idk, I hope so. I mean, at least one, c'mon.

Anyways, I cried a bit more writing this, but I feel way better. My eyes are super puffy and sore and burning, and I'm just tired. At least I don't have classes tomorrow... I still need to wakeup early for my physiotherapy tho. Anyways. This was definitely a year... Very bad things happened, but also very good things. It balances out.

I'm happier than before and honestly, I think it's been a very long time since I've felt anywhere close to this. I'm glad I'm still here.

Hoping I will have an even greater year next.

[seethesunny]

Hi, lovely! Here’s some for the ask game. 🍓🥤🌻🪐

Hi friend, happy Saturday 🤲🏼❤ thank u lots for the ask! I always get bored haha

🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction? 

This is funny because I've always been a creative kid, so I would create my own stories inside my head and they eventually turned into some of the shows/books I liked- sometimes a mixture- and at the time I didn’t know that was called fanfiction! I have the vivid memory of snatching my mom's lavender Nokia cellphone to write in a notes app, that happened until I fell into the role-playing world for years and that only cemented my love for it, I fully got into writing seriously around five years since that but never posted, it was for that same group of friends only. So that's my backstory! I had given up on it for a number of reasons but I'm back in the fanfiction pit lol

🥤 ⇢ recommend an author or fanfic you love

Since I've been a tessjoel girlie from the beginning I'm pulling some of the hidden gems on FF dot net that some new fans may not know! These are all videogame tlou.

Starting with one of my favorite fics EVER (it is a habit to reread it monthly) written by Raff who is a legend and was a pioneer for them. This is an au that's technically canon compliant for the tone, a very straight-forward summary: Ellie is Tess and Joel's daughter, this is the little glimpses of how they raise her in the QZ:

@kokureno and I gush over this particular fic nonstop, college au with romcom elements, what's not to love?

This one is a curious case because while I read it previously, my mind was blown away when I finally read Dirt (also recommend it) then came back to it. Tess and Joel share a vulnerable moment and Tess realizes there is more to him than what she thought, pretty spot on character analysis:

This one is a Tess lives au AND a babyfic, and you know how hard it used to be to find babyfics for them specifically? Aside from signs (originally from FFnet), I wasn't that lucky and this was a blessing:

Someone said missing scene fic about a very necessary topic aka Joel and Ellie bringing up Tess during their journey? The old man HAS feelings??? Anyway, this is 100% canon to me:

This one is for those who are fans of Tess’s backstory in the old tlou storyline where she was the main antagonist/villain, which means she had a brother who was killed; in my heart this will always be her OG origin story honestly. Plus, Joel also opens up about his own loss:

Don't you love it when there's a recurring theme in your fic???? Tess and Joel's lives when they're running out of time, Tommy appears too, canon compliant:

Okay this one is on AO3 too, I get that, however I first found it here and anyway it has now been buried so! I'm showing it again. Tess's centered fic were a rarity so I know this one like the back of my hand, the most juicy gritty QZ life angst, it's also an origin story about her AND a character study, go wild:

Another one on AO3, but hear me out this IS them at their true core and a required reading for everyone to understand them and their dynamic perfectly, it's pretty sad and there's not much comfort but that's why it's so good. Also, the queen herself (amb) wrote it and this is my special dedication to her bc she cemented this Fandom alongside Raff and she's the best at pulling our heartstrings:

Those are some of my favs. I can't include every single one cause it would take me ages but there are so many more there that are worth a read. If you love them most at their ambiguous nature, the early fics filled the void and nurtured the mind.

🌻 ⇢ tag someone you appreciate but don't talk to on a regular basis

A really talented artist around here who's outstanding at what she does, ily chica @betweentwoceremonials

🪐 ⇢ name three good things going on in your life right now

Last year I had an awful infection and it took me a while to get rid of it, but I did some medical analysis a few weeks ago and now I'm fine 🥳

This spot is for the people I love and love me in return, I never take it for granted!

Not to get too pessimistic bc I try to keep it light but I never thought I would reach my 20s and yet- I'm still here, and I'm proud of myself for it

[maddy011901]

hi 🍂🩷🌙🧣

(previously known as omfgdany)

ao3

sims 4 gallary id: maddy011901

💌 a list of things you might see on my blog (this is a fandom blog, first and foremost)

sims 4 posting (builds, cas, challenges, legacy, etc...)

tubbo

hex haywire 🖤❗️

redacted audio (gavin is my favorite)

hermitcraft!!!

aesthetic posts

yuurivoice (alphonse, by beloved)

hermitcraft (season 9 is defiantly my fave lol but 7 and 8 will always hold special places in my heart)

traffic life series (scar, my beloved <;3)

the last of us (ellie is my ride or die)

genshin impact (only got into it bc of venti, he's my baby)

anime (my current top 5: banana fish, fruits basket, psycho-pass, black butler, & )

other mcyt (it is still mostly tubbo)

one direction (I'm not a larrie anymore but my faves are harry & louis)

taylor swift (die hard swiftie since debut ~ top five albums in no peticular order: evermore, speaknow, ttpd, reputation & folklore)

high fantasy books (idk how to read /j)

fnaf (I've been a fan since around fnaf 2! freddy is my fave)

stim boards

barbie movies

bratz dolls (I've had a fixation on them since i was a kid)

obey me (I'm in love with asmodeus and beelzebub)

music & musicians (i'm not particularly picky about music so expect all kinds of stuff)

the scream movies (HUGE fan of the 1st 4...i feel realty neutral about 5 and 6)

sanrio (i like cute, sweet things)

pokemon (i like fairy and grass types but my favorite pokemon is Ditto lol)

birds (one of my special interests from when I was a kid that has recently resurfaced lol)

game of thrones & house of the dragon (i have complicated feelings)

good omens

the narnia movies (idk how to feel about the remakes but i am hopeful!)

resident evil games (i like the stage plays too!)

the mcu (loki stan, bucky stan, wanda stan, peter stan)

other roleplay asmr (this is something very personal to me so i don't really talk about it lol)

2000s and 2010s "nostalgia"

dragon ball (the og anime, my bf introduced me to it and I fell in love)

anime tiddies

fanart (i love reblogging fanart)

fanfic (i write & reblog fanfic!)

🐰 about me 🌷

i don't really retire from fandoms (unless i have a negative experience) so i blog about an endless number of fandoms

all pronouns means i am comfortable with any and/or all pronouns being used for me!! (i think i'm agender?)

Dany is not my real name, i started going by it online in 2019/2020 :) my real name is Maddy, idc which i am called ~ i have also gone by the names Kitty, Raye, & Bambi online

my favorite color is #f3859f

my special interest is a fantasy world i created when i was a little kid and i am currently writing a fantasy book series based on it

I'm a capricorn

I am in a relationship <3

my favorite characters are almost always "the blonde one" (they're at least "blonde coded")

my favorite number is 19

i'm a tumblr veteran (my first ever tumblr account was made in 2013/2014)

I've been writing fanfiction since i was 10 (i was writing it before i even knew it was a thing lol) my first fanfic was a walking dead fanfic i also made edit tv/movie trailers for lol

age regressor but I don't really post about it online

I am active on other social media (Instagram, tiktok, Twitter, reddit, pinterest, etc...)

My blog speaks for itself for the most part. I'm a chronic reblogger

i've been writing as a hobby since childhood, including original fiction/fantasy works and fanfic and poetry

🎀 other info 🧸

i was diagnosed with "level 1 autism" in 2020 but i think i am actually more like level 2 tbh

i use my queue for reblogs (most of the time) so i don't clog up feeds and stuff :)

if you feel the need to block me, for whatever reason, that is okay

if you appear to be a bot (no pfp, no posts/reblogs, no bio, no recent activity, etc) i WILL block you

my asks are closed because they make me anxious

i don't have a dni list because if i dont want you to interact with me i will just block you

i am not comfortable sharing much about my personal life. that being said might reblog/like/follow things related to myself or my personal life

i am queer (for now I'm going with agender bisexual, but that is subject to change)

i frequently use tone indicators

💘 tags 💭

tags stayed the same post name change lol

dany rambles - exactly what it sounds like, just rambles

dany's diary - personal posts (this is a more recent tag, older posts won't have it)

dany vents - vent posts (i also tags these as "vent" and "vent post")

dany writes - posts about my writing but not my wips/fics/etc themselves

dany's q - posts from my queue

simming with dany (sims 4 posting lol)

💬 socials 🍓

tiktok (shitposting&theonlyglimpsyougetintomypersonalife)

twitter (taylorswiftstanaccount)

pinterest (fandomfaves&myaesthetic)

spotify (music!!!)

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

MAC!!! GOOD EVENING!!!!!! im thinking soo hard abt interesting fairytale things rn but also. i would LOVE to hear abt ur danny phantom thing?(images aren't loading for me but i think? graphic novel? normal novel?? 👀) ??????!!!! i'm peripherally interested in dp on the basis that my beloved mutual (u) is into it & im!!!! curious!!!! whys it so good!!!! tell me!! free infodump card for u 👀👀👀

THIS ASK IS A MISTAKE. BEWARE. FUCK. DUDE I COULD TALK ABOUT DANNY PHANTOM FOR SO LONG IM NOT EVEN KIDDING IVE GOT . NEARLY 20 YEARS WORTH OF LOVE FOR THIS SHOW. I AM 23 YESRS OLD. THATS HOW SERIOUS I AM . IM.*THE* DANNY PHANTOM GUY THERES A REASON ALL OF MY USERNAMES ARE DP REFERENCES. ohhhh my god. where do i even fucking start. i guess ill start with agit but im still so overwhelmed with love that i have not fully processed yet so prepare for this to be a total fucking mess of words

so. the show ended in.. 2007. and. god the last episode sucks so fucking bad. bad enough that the fandom as a whole collectively agrees it does not exist it never happened . phantom planet isnt real phantom planet cant hurt you if you dont look at it or think about it ever. i could go on a whole. rant about how much phantom planet sucks but instead ill just say butch hartman (<< creator of the show) is a fucking. annoying awful person and he was greedy + wanted more money from nickelodeon than they were willing to give him so they gave him a hard limit on episodes before the shoe would be canceled. so. season 3 goes downhill SO fast and ends with the fucking disaster that is phantom planet . and !!! you know how disappointing it is to have your facorite show have a garbage ending!! it sucks!! so then there was like. a HUGE HUGE long silence where there was. 0 canon content bc hartman considered it a flop and kind of just. abandoned it until he wanted clout (there were a few gameboy games that came out after the show ended + some nickelodeon games that included danny as a character + butch made a youtube channel where he would spout absolute death of the author garbage about the show every time he wanted attention but it was mostly dead silence) UNTIL. AGIT. A GLITCH IN TIME IS THE FIRST CANON SHOW COMPLIANT CONTENT THAT HAS BEEN RELEASED SINCE 200 GODDAMN 7. FUCK . and not only is it canon compliant it is ALSO A CONTINUATION OF MY FAVORITE EPISODE IN THE WHOLE SERIES.

so. my favorite episode. is ultimate enemy. it was one of the 4 movie-length episodes and the basic premise is. danny uses his ghodt powers to cheat on a huge standardized test and this sets off a butterfly effect reaction that leads to a timeline where his family + friends get killed in an explosion and he loses his mind and turns into the worlds most powerful villain <3 you can see why i like it so much im sure (<< guy who has a documented chronic weakness for stories where a good guy turns bad etc)

SO AT THE END OF THE EPISODE. Dan (the evil future danny) is trapped and locked away forever . but at the end of the ep theres a scene that hints to a possible future episode where he escapes !!!! so there was always a teased sequel but this sequel was never created due to aforementioned. budget issues and cancellation. etc. buggest disappointment of my life. UNTIL AGIT !!!!!!!!!!!!!

it was released. july of this year . and i am just reading it now bc its been burning a hole in my bedside table bc it never felt like the right time to read it until this morning for some reason. and fuck its so good its literally everything i wanted.

i dont know how involved butch hartman was in the creation of it but the author (gabriela epstein) is obviously someone who cares deeply about the show and the characters and im so fucking happy about it she did an incredible job. i literally had to pause a handful of times in the first few pages just because the characters and dialogue were written so well and it was like SUCH a breath of fresh air (the fandom is. so bad. its so bad. because its been around for so long people have such insane warped takes on a lot of the characters and its become completely unbearable to me ive had to block the tag and its so painful. this is literally the only reason i am not reblogging dp content constantly. i have to filter it through artists i know can handle the characters properly. if i was not nerfed by the awful fandom it would be 24/7/365 dp lockdown and id be so unbearable) OH ALSO not only is agit a continuation of my alltime favorite episode, it also retcons the garbage pile that is phantom planet in a way that acknowledges that it was a real thing that happened but going back on it in a way that feels so so so so natural for the show. so it wasnt a throwaway "no that was bad lets forget about it" it was a well crafted well thought out "this was real and it sucked and the characters remember it BUT we can play with timeline so things will continue as normal" and . holy shit it was so fucking good. i will begrudgingly acknowledge phantom planets existence if only for agit.

uhhhhhhhh fuck this is so long and i am running our of directed steam so if i keep talking i will just start rambling about the intricacies and holy shit dude i could literally talk about danny phantom for hours and hours and hours and hours if theres anything else u want to know i am the guy . i am the guy forever

[aquilathefighter]

Trope Game

Hiii i finally have spoons for this!! thanks for the tags @seiya-starsniper @immacaria @altair214 <3

Rules: How much do these tropes affect your decision to click on a fic?

-10 -> very dissuaded

0 - don't care either way

+10 -> very enticed

nope -> if it's a hard no and you'd never click on a fic with that tag or or you even have the tag blocked or you'd insta click out of the fic if it wasn't tagged

Bonus points for explaining the rating and whether it's conditional.

Age gap: +3

its a sometimes food for me, i just have to be in the mood for it or it has to be well done, whether it's clear we're playing in the space of sexy fantasy or something a bit more unethical

Codependency: -5

brings up some yucky feelings for me. if it's done by an author i trust i might still click though!

Obsession/Possessiveness, jealousy: +4

it can be sexy and i like when characters talk through it

Opposites (grumpy/sunshine etc): +8

*gestures at most of my favorite ships*

Enemies to lovers, Enemies with benefits: 0

eh just not really my thing!

Friends with benefits: +4

its a fun thing and i love a pwp where they're just buds. but i do really prefer more romantic pairings personally

Sex to feelings: +7

love the exploration of what happens when it becomes not 'just sex'. also smut yummy

Fake dating/relationship: +10

oh my god this is my favorite trope e v e r. the number of spirk fics where they have to pretend to be bfs/husbands bc of the aliens i've read..

Friends to lovers: +9

CLASSIC. i love a beautiful foundation of two people who really know each other well realizing their affection for each other have evolved into something different!! only knocked off a point bc sometimes its really amatonormative in that the romantic relationship is seen as more/better than the platonic relationship and i do not vibe with that.

Found Family: +1

i could take it or leave it for the most part but if it's done well its certainly appreciated!

Hurt/Comfort: +10

afjdskaf;jsda i dont even have an explanation other than i like to hit characters with hammers and then nurse them back to health

Love Triangle: -8

i just think its kind of played out and very rarely do the dynamics catch my interest

Poly, open relationships: 0

i tend to get really fixated on one pairing so its kinda hard for me to get really excited about them?? all the power to poly ships but i just have very few of them (e.g. mcspirk)

Mistaken/hidden identity: +3

it can be fun! love some drama but if its simply misunderstanding i get a bit frustrated. more phantom type hidden identity pls

Pregnancy: -1

kidfic is generally a squick for me on account of me never wanting to get pregnant in my entire life ever and some personal stuff, but if its more about the relationship between the pregnant person and their partner(s) i'm down! and breeding kink ofc, thats a whole other thing

Second Chance: +7

people who have history between them giving it another try? trying to move past the ways they hurt each other??? yesssss

Slowburn: -2

this is more about the fact that i simply do not have the brain power to read 100K+ fics a lot of the time!! when i do have the capacity i love reading a slowburn but unfortunately i expend a lot of reading spoons on work on account of being an academic at all

Soulmates: -4

man im such a pessimist but i personally find the idea of predestined people you're gonna fall in love with kind of depressing? much more a fan of love being a thing you create between people

i am probably the last one to do this XD take this as an open invitation if you would like to do this game and haven't been tagged!

[schnozzbun-art]

(Feel free to answer as many of these are you feel are fit! Dont feel pressured into answering all) 2, 9, 12, 17, 41, 76, 100: Whats your favorite type of narrative to either create, or explore? be it the setting, or struggle your character has to work through, reocurring theme(s), etc.

From the 100 Question Fanfic Ask Game.

2. talk about a notable time a narrative or character has looked you dead in the eyes and said “fuck your plan, here’s what we’re actually doing.”

This whole (makes vague gesture) From Parts Unknown dusty fic fkjdah. I have a terrible issue of scope when planning out chapters it seems OTL

12. do you ever have trouble focusing on writing? how do you get around that? 

Background music is very important, bc if my brain feels understimulated I'll finish writing a sentence and be like WELL! I'M BORED! <3 And open a social media tab. I either listen to lofi hiphop video game mixes on youtube or a showtune/pop song I've been enjoying on loop. What i should REALLY do is turn off my got dang wifi so that I don't get distracted by twitter/tumblr, eugh

17. what is your favorite line you’ve ever written?

Of all time? Hard to make a definite statement on that. However, I wrote a simile I quite enjoyed in the current FPU chapter I'm working on: "As blunt as an elbow to the nose."

76. what is one essential thing to remember when writing a villain? 

Everyone's heard of the advice 'every character is the hero in their own story, no one sees themselves as truly evil' (and if you haven't, now you have) but I think something that you can go more deeply on is asking yourself 'how does your villain/antagonist specifically challenge or contrast your hero/protag?' If your protagonist has a certain set of values/beliefs, how does your antagonist contrast them? What traits does your antagonist bring out in your protagonist? How are they an inverted mirror of everything the protagonist stands for? I'm not saying 'make your antagonist the exact opposite of your protag because that always equals a good villain' but more like, the importance of understanding that part of the antagonist's role is challenging your protagonist in every sense of the word, and is an opportunity to see your protagonist be challenged and question themselves. Thinking about these concepts should help in contributing to the overall Theme of your story and making it more cohesive (ie, if your story focuses on a central question, the protagonist and antagonist should have contradicting answers), at least, that's how I enjoy thinking about it.

100. open question to the writer.

I know I'm meant to provide a question to myself, but if I were instead to use this as a springboard to propose questions I would enjoy receiving, if anyone had any questions about any of the specific songs I've included in any of my fic playlists and why they're there I would loooove answering them <3

[callixton]

writing ask: 10, 25, 28 !

god tumblr deleted a mostly finished response, but still - thank you!!

10. Has a piece of writing ever "haunted" you?Has your own writing haunted you? What does that mean to you?

constantly, yeah. lines, themes, concepts that get caught in my head and won’t leave. siken is a particular offender when it comes to specific lines. for my own, there’s plenty that i would say “haunts” me, though part of it is probably down to the many unfinished ghosts of stories i have drifting around my head.

for fanfic, copse immediately comes to mind. the one really did a number on me, and i hope that some day i can return to finish it out but. it’s one of the few things where i know almost everything that happens and i can see it when i close my eyes. i also think it’s special for letting me articulate the kind of attraction i experience and relationships i want before i knew it myself — the way the character’s talk about it is something i return to often. one of my first queer original works, he of wood, also effects me in a similar way. i don’t know when/if it’ll ever be the right time to come back and finish it, but it lives with me all of the time.

25. What is a weird, hyper-specific detail you know about one of your characters that is completely irrelevant to the story?

oh my god, too many to count. i have a bad habit of focusing too much on these and not enough on the story, actually, but i’m trying to break it. it’s also hard to know what will end up being irrelevant before the story is done. but! i know that frey from my guardian angel story named himself after his favorite video game character as a pre-teen and i don’t imagine the details of that will ever be relevant

28. Who is the most delightful character you've ever written? Why?

ooh, delightful. that’s not how i usually think about my characters, that’s very fun framing. probably harry, from a project working-ly just titled ‘weird,’ which i’d love to return to sometime bc i haven’t actually done that much on it yet. she’s a rare animal courier in a story mostly created so i can play around with worldbuilding and more experimental fantasy, and they’re a wonderfully strange & intense kid who befriends a ghost

[missingmywing]

Haurchefant, Estinien, Joker, Haru, Zack, Tseng, Xaldin, Lexaeus :)

kitty holy shit you created a monster. this was seven pages in my gdocs

RIGHT HERE'S THE ESSAY

Haurchefant, Estinien, Joker, Haru, Zack, Tseng, Xaldin, Lexaeus

First impression

Haurchefant: I did not trust him. The rest of Ishgard was being terrible, they made a terrible first impression, and I was fully convinced that he was also going to be a dick. And then when he wasn’t I was fully expecting him to stab me in the back. He very quickly and thoroughly proved me wrong and I fell for him quickly.

Estinien: Estinien chill. That’s it, that was my whole impression of him for a long while. Getting farther into Heavensward… okay no actually my opinion didn’t really start to change until Stormblood when he did start to chill XD

Joker: I love him. I want to be him. He’s so cool and snazzy and badass I am incredibly jealous of his everything even now, but he was absolutely my high school crush and was the first fictional character that made me actually understand the “I’m literally in love with a fictional character, they are everything” and he’s still incredibly fun and heavy to write. …. hence why I wrote a 200k fic with him at the center of most of the one-shots. He’s still one of my favorite ever fictional characters.

Haru: “Oh god this is awful. This poor girl. I’m dying from the secondhand embarrassment. Mona why would you do this to her. Haru I’m so sorry.” I sympathized with her a because Morgana was being petty, while she was just trying to escape a terrible situation, but I was also very worried about what trouble the two of them would end up getting into because I was scared the Mona situation was setting up for someone to die or something. Which technically it was, just not P3 level bad XD

Zack: I would like to reiterate that my first experience with FFVII was AC followed by Crisis Core, which meant I went into the game with very little idea of who people were or what was going on. Which meant that, aside from Lightning (bc I got into FF through XIII) Zack was my first true Final Fantasy protagonist. I loved him from the first, his excitement and enthusiasm was endearing - even if his naivete made my fifteen year old self roll my eyes. But watching him grow and mature, watching the sheer unfairness of everything, and then the ending - I loved him, I’ve always loved him and he was one of the first characters I actually took the time to learn to write properly, and was the one to actually get me into serious writing. So you could say the puppy made a pretty good first impression on me :)

Tseng: “Oh he’s pretty. And serious and competent, but he does have a really subtle and dry sense of humor. Okay he’s already one of my favorites in this game.” I completely skimmed past him in ACC, but CC is where he caught my attention and made me love him.

Xaldin: Okay I’ll be honest, you’re asking about something that happened almost a decade and a half ago, when I was like. Nine. I’m pretty sure my impression was “Wow he has a lot of lances, that’s cool! I wanna do that- AAAAAAA WHAT’S GOING ON WHY IS THIS FIGHT SO HARD - WHAT DO YOU MEAN I’M MICKEY MOUSE WHAT’S GOING ON?!?!”

Lexaeus: Similar to above, except it was “Whoa, he’s giant and looks strong - DID HE JUST USE RIKU TO BREAK THE ROOF??? AAAAAAAAA-”

Impression now

Haurchefant: He’s the best. I love him. He sweet and supportive and was willing to lay down his reputation to offer us sanctuary and his life to protect us AND HE DESERVES THE UNIVERSE. He may not be as complex or as deeply compelling as Emet, but gods if he doesn’t reach into your soul and grab ahold of your heart. I have so many feelings and thoughts and headcanons and story clips for him I can’t even begin to describe how much I love him.

Estinien: BOY OH BOY TALK ABOUT COMPLICATED. I mean not really at this point, but Heavensward sure was. I love this idiot. He spent the entire first three patches on a one-track mind about how much he hated dragons and wished for nothing more than to wipe them out (making my WoL who was, you know, Tiamat’s daughter disguising herself as an au ra, very uncomfortable) and then from SB on he was their biggest advocate and basically became a wyrm therapist and its. It’s just so funny. This tsundere dumbass who can’t use money. He saves our asses then casually drops us off with Aymeric without a word and brushes off thanks. He cares deeply but hell if you’ll get him to admit it. I have just as many feels and headcanons and story snippets with him as with Haurche - probably more given Etheria’s lore and backstory - and I adore him very much.

Joker: Pretty sure I gushed about him enough above, my feelings have not changed in the slightest. He’s super complex once you start digging into his reactions to things - his phrasing, his sprites, his model motions and quirks - and it’s so much fun to write him and explore his character. I love him so much, he’s still the character I know the most about and relate to the most because there’s so much there once you dig into it.

Haru: I lovvveeee herrrrr. She doesn’t get enough screentime, and her arc was… bland and shallow and, as others have pointed out, probably shoehorned into the story last minute. She and Makoto weren’t actually originally supposed to be part of the PT, they were added later into development, which is probably why they have the weakest arcs of any of the PTs. She has enormous potential, and Strikers did pretty good at helping develop that out… though Atlas continues to actually refuse to address her biggest character point. I don’t know why, but can we please have an honest conversation with her addressing her feelings about Akechi and Shido and what her father was doing and participating in, and how she feels about what he did to her, even if he’s dead now. Atlas are cowards these are important to her character and if they don’t do it then I will.

Zack: Zack is still a beloved character for me, even if he isn’t one of my absolute favorites anymore. There’s a lot to explore with him that canon hinted at, which most of the fandom seems to ignore. He has layers and depth, and he’s just as tragic - if not more - as any of the Soldier Three. Everything he went through, how much he lost even as he tried to cling to it, how he grew up and slowly lost all his naivete… and then his relationship with Kunsel that we never truly get to explore, and how others view him and who he is as a SOLDIER as much as a person and where the dichotomy there lies… I still love him a lot, and really love how subtly complex he is.

Tseng: He’s always been a really fascinating and fun character for me, and I still really like him. His complexity with Rufus, the other Turks, and Zack and Aerith is fascinating as well. I don’t write him as much as others (partially because I still have yet to hunt down an english version of Before Crisis) but he’s a really interesting character that I have fun with when I do have the opportunity to write him.

Xaldin: Well admittedly most of my hcs are adopted from or inspired by other people, but hooo this is a bitter and heartbroken man who is definitely projecting and refusing to admit it with that whole… whatever is going on with Beast’s Castle. I hced that even before seeing other people’s, but it was pretty validating to see that I wasn’t the only one who looked at Beast’s Castle and went “oh yeah, that’s someone who got a very messy divorce.” I love exploring his relationship with the other apprentices, as well as all the Keybladers, now that everyone’s back and the worlds are starting to heal. He accidentally dads the younger kids - as do most of the apprentices tbh - and is constantly exasperated by it. This not what he signed up for. He didn’t even want the damn thing back. Dammit.

Lexaeus: I love him. Textbook definition of a gentle giant. Much more purposeful dad-ing of the kids running around, and very subtle dad-ing of Ienzo bc Ienzo’s huffy and a bit touchy about the other apprentices treating him as a child or trying to care for him - Aeleus has a few theories as to why, but he’ll let the other keep his silence as he always has - and overall just trying to care for everyone and make up for the ten years in the Organization.

Favorite moment

Haurchefant: Much as I love/hate the Vault, and it is definitely up there - the way he and WoL just exchange a look and then go for it without having to say anything will forever be my favorite thing. But my actual favorite moments are in ARR when he both chastises you and praises you post-Shiva, and then after the banquet when he welcomes you and promises you safety, and then after the trial when he gives you the chocobo. It… I know everyone always thinks of the Big Thing, and “a smile better suits a hero” is engraved in everyone’s hearts, but my truly beloved moments are the smaller ones, and his quiet - or not so quiet as it may be - faith in us.

Estinien: Well his entrance into the Dragoon questline is hilarious, and his money trouble in Thavnair is equally so, but in terms of my actual favorite moments with him… honestly just, his conversation with Tiamat was good, but Vrtra. Gods his interactions with Vrtra are top tier. I can’t pick one, because everything from the first meeting with Varshahn where they both recognize each other and Estinien worries after him because of the scales, to the first real meeting where they call each other out and Estinien accepts the favor, to their conversations during the Final Days, and how Estinien goes out of his way to get Vrtra’s people to convince him to go after his sister… Estinien is so good with the dragons, especially Vrtra, and his scene in Ultima Thule in the world of dragons was just the perfect encapsulation of how much he’s grown. I love him so so much.

Joker: Favorite moment… I have to admit, I love the interrogation room, and the fact that Akira shows true vulnerability for the first time while still holding onto his rebellion as much as he can (refusing to sign and literally smacking the clipboard away, his little smirk at the end, etc.). He has other really good moments too - your first impression of him with his rush through the casino is excellent, as is his entire awakening scene and his refusing to let Maruki fall - but I think that one shows the most honest sides of him.

Haru: My favorite Haru moment… I guess it has to be her awakening, because it's lovely and her finally having enough and turning on her father - plus the drama of the awakening itself - was great. Oh, and her moment in Strikers when she says "We kind of hate the cops :)" is excellent. I liked her moments with Mariko in Strikers as well, but… they weren't as powerful as her awakening.

Zack: Just one? Ohhhh there's several that I love, but I think my top two are the end of CC when he gives Cloud the sword with his little spiel "You'll be my living legacy." Tied with that is his cameo in ACC, his encouragement of Cloud was wonderful "You've beat him before, haven't you?" Smaller moments - his interactions with Yuffie, his shenanigans with Aerith, his hurt at Angeal, and if course when he first meets Cloud - are wonderful and really flesh him out as a character, but those two are my uncontested top.

Tseng: Again I haven't gone through BC yet which apparently has some of his best moments, but of the stuff I have seen his scene with Cissnei is my favorite - his "we're going directly against orders here because Zack's our friend and Aerith misses him. Go get him back before the infantry." It's such a humanizing moment, and shows who he is beneath the Turk. But all his moments teasing Zack with the most dry humor are fun too.

Xaldin: Hmm it's hard to choose a canon one because he doesn't have many. The intro to his fight is awesome and I've always loved that. His moment in the added Org scene in the KH2.5 remix do an excellent job at setting the tone of the Organization, just casually throwing lances at coworkers it's fine. His minor scenes in BBS were fantastic because because they showed who he was before the Organization and the much more human sides of him (worried about Ven running off on his own, throwing Lea and Isa out of the castle with the most done look, etc) so those might be my favorite.

Lexaeus: I can't say the 358 scene introducing limit breaks because that's mean and not actually my favorite moment with him, but it is hilarious. Lexaeus no. Don't punch children even to trigger an LB. My actual favorite is probably either the same as Dilan - those BBS scenes are great - or in COM when he apologizes to Zexion for failing to stop Riku and then dying. Like. Ouch. There are layers to that, and really shows how much Lexaeus cares about the others even after years in the Organization without a heart.

Idea for a story

Haurchefant: I have many. So so many. I have lists. Tbh though I kind of want to see him interacting with G'raha, just the two of them talking about WoL's adventures and G'raha barely restraining his excitement about getting to talk to The Haurchefant. It'd be funny. Likewise I think it'd be fascinating for him into interact with Hythlodaeus, I think they'd get along. In terms of a canonical scene, I'm eventually going to write the scene where he finds out that Etheria is an au ra (she spends all of ARR with a cloak and mask to hide it), and then another with his reaction to the whole "dragon in disguise" thing because it'll be fun.

Estinien: Please give me stories about what he and Aymeric got up to as kids going through training. Give me their shenanigans and careful troublemaking. Give me Aymeric dragging him out of his shell, and Estinien picking fights with people who try to talk down and spread rumors about Aymeric. Give me them sneaking out of the barracks at night to go buy decent food from a vendor, or just hang out on a roof somewhere. Give me the snowball fight that ensues after Aymeric shoves snow down Estinien's shirt, or their squad mates getting annoyed at their unsubtle flirting. Give me the scene after we rescue Aymeric from the Vault and Estinien is helping tend his wounds, or after we rescue Estinien from Nidhogg where Aymeric is watching over him. Give me SB snapshots of Estinien coming to terms with exactly what he is now, and how he feels about it, or after we get back from Ultima Thule when he has to come to terms with what happened to the rest of the dragons and tell the ones here on our star. It's… there's so much potential with him, and I'm glad we're starting to explore it with Vrtra.

Joker: *Gestures to my 200k one-shot collection* I think I have a few. Tbh though I really want a snapshot fic of Akira working at Crossroads, getting comfortable with both the environment and getting into the crossdressing scene, having fun with it. It would be a lot of fun, and really sweet. Plus pretty dresses, and he canonically likes crossdressing anyway so like. Gimme more. Let him have fun.

Haru: I want a fic of her going after Sugimura. I'm still so mad we didn't go after him in Mementos for her confidant, and it definitely contributed to her confidant feeling weaker than the others’. I also want her to have a proper confrontation/conversation with Akechi about… everything. I know there are plenty of fics for it already, but I wanna do my own take eventually.

Zack: So I have a few I started and never finished… but for a new one, ghost au could be fun. Everyone always does "Zack lives", but it could be fun if Zack still died and just followed Cloud around as a ghost, and Cloud and Aerith are the only ones who can see him. Cloud would remember everything in this au, but that would not make he or Zack any less confused.

Tseng: A fic exploring what the Wutai war was like for him, and what his ties to Wutai even are. Does he care, or is he completely disconnected? For a less heavy idea, I want a fic with he and the other Turks trying increasingly desperate and convoluted methods to recruit Kunsel to the Turks, and failing every time.

Xaldin: I want to see him interacting with the keybladers post-3, just reluctantly being a parental/authority figure and cursing the fact that he cares and is going out of his way to help them with things. This is why he didn't want his heart back, dammit, now he cares about people.

Lexaeus: There's a couple I've thought of, but I want to see his thoughts during the Organization. His actions in CoM make it clear that he's still keeping an eye on Zexion - whether Zexion wants it or not - and he was as caring as he could be towards Vexen. I want to see what he thinks and what he's trying to do about his fracturing family during the days of the Organization.

Unpopular opinion

Haurchefant: Probably a bold opinion, but I'm glad that they haven't retconned his death even though people are calling for it. Fics are one thing - I an au where my WoL panic-soulbinds with him to keep him alive after all - but canon is its own thing and his sacrifice had far too heavy an impact and important to the story to be able to bring him back without ruining that whole scene and arc.

Estinien: He's not stupid. I know we all like to make the jokes about his money sense, the fact that he couldn't tell Alphinaud and Alisae apart, and the endless floor tank jokes, but Estinien isn't stupid. He was bad with money because he'd likely never had to spend it before - he was Ishgard's star soldier, after all, so they'd have supplied him with weapons and armor, plus rations, and the rest of the time he probably hunted for himself. He'd probably never had a lot of money to spend, going from farmboy to obsessive military weapon. The fact that he'd learned and overcome it by 6.1 makes that clear. And he's far from he first one to mistake Alphinaud and Alisae for the other - especially since he might not have even known that Alphinaud had an identical twin.

Joker: I don't like the "uwu gay softboi" fandom likes to foist on him. I like shuake, I ship it, but Joker is definitely not the type to pine helplessly to the exclusion of everything else going on. Like he has his soft moments, but - I don't know, I just hate when fandoms turn complex characters into one-dimensional ship fodder, or turn them into characters without the ability to stand up for themselves.

Haru: Haru wasn't a bad character, she wasn't pointless, and while her arc was the weakest I don't think removing it and her would have made the game better. She could have been handled much better, but she wasn't handled that badly.

Zack: Same as Estinien: Zack is not stupid. He's actually pretty smart! We see this several times throughout the game! Everyone looks at his personality at the beginning of the game, takes it at face value and then uses it as his whole personality and that's… not at all accurate. He's naive and reckless at the beginning of the game, but he grows out of it very quickly once Angeal leaves - and by the end of the game I'd say he's surpassed both Angeal and Genesis in both skill and general competence. One does not evade ShinRa for a year with a helpless, unconscious friend dragging him down, even with the occasional help of a single Turk - with significant intelligence and competence. Zack is smart, he's just a fourteen/fifteen year old at the very beginning of the game.

Tseng: Not sure this is unpopular by this point, but Tseng is definitely not heartless, and the only reason he's a "stalker" is because he's a government mandated one. He might be concerned about Aerith in general, but he (and the other Turks) wouldn't be following her around without orders. And there's at least one scene I know about in BC where he's chastised for being too caring and worried about others.

Xaldin: I don't… actually know of any fandom opinions about him? Fandom generally ignores him. 

Lexaeus: Same with this one, unless we're talking about the "attempting to murder a child in the name of training" jokes about Roxas, but I don't think I've actually seen anyone taking that seriously.

Favorite relationship

Haurchefant: Honestly his relationship with the WoL is just wonderful, no matter how you hc your WoL (and mine is particularly wonderful to me because of the layers involving them both). If we're talking about outside of WoL, his relationship with Aymeric is fascinating. We don't get to see much of it, and we never find out exactly how they view each other - be it actual friends or simply positive coworkers with the same views - but the scenes they are in together just have such interesting vibes that make me want to explore it.

Estinien: If you'd asked me before 6.1 I'd have said Aymeric without hesitation, but now I have to say that it's Aymeric tied with Vrtra. His big-little brother relationship with Alphinaud is cute, and his terror of Tataru and Krile is hilarious, but Aymeric and Vrtra are still my two favorite to see by far. WAIT NO I FORGOT. ALSO GAIUS. He and Gaius are fascinating, I want to see a whole fic/side story of what they were up to during SHB and how they got along, how they worked together. What little we saw was both badass and fun, and I want to see more.

Joker: Hmmm canonically I have to say that Akechi and Futaba are tied, though he has really interesting relationships with most of his confidants and if we're talking outside the Thieves then Sojiro, Iwai, and Ohya/Lala are my favorites. For slightly less canonically (sort of), his relationships with the other wildcards are FANTASTIC. Q2 was so much fun. In general, he and Yu are my favorite relationship to write just in general because there's so much to explore. So many layers for both of them.

Haru: Hmm probably either Morgana or Akechi. Granted we never get to see much of either in canon (#giveharuscreentime) but in terms of potential she and Akechi are the most interesting to me. Her friendship with Mona is adorable, and I love how supportive they are of each other. In that respect, she and Ryuji are a close second.

Zack: Oh man, this one's a close tie between Cloud and Aerith. They're both so great, layered and emotional and angsty. My favorite underrated relationship though is Zack and Kunsel, hands down.

Tseng: I'd have to say Rufus, because there's so much going on behind the scenes there that we never see, but that is absolutely there and is probably really cool and involves a lot of underhandedness and political maneuvering that would be so much fun to see. Rufus' relationship to all the Turks is really interesting, but especially Tseng since Tseng would have been the most involved.

Xaldin: Hmmm most of the relationships are… not actually ever shown in canon. We get glimpses and implications, but we don’t actually get to see them. Generally I love seeing the apprentices being family in fic, and the idea of Dilan reluctantly being a parental figure to the younger keybladers post-3 is fun.

Lexaeus: Same problem as above, but from both fics and my own hcs I really like the potential of his relationship with Ienzo - from the time he was a small child, through the Organization, and post 3. He definitely seems like the one Zexion trusted the most - probably because he let Zexion do what he wanted, whereas Vexen was a meddler who stuck his nose into things - so it’s fun to consider how he watched out for him through the years even when everything else had fallen apart.

Favorite headcanon

Haurchefant: Ohhh this one I’m torn, I have two. The first is semi-canonical, and that he’s a chocobo breeder - he loves his birds and found a lot of solace in their company when the pressure and judgement of being a claimed bastard became too much for him to handle, and he’d retreat to the stables to calm down and recuperate. The second one is that he and Aymeric are actually closer than we see in canon - they’re just really subtle about it because the rumors about Aymeric are unconfirmed and Haurchefant won’t be the one to shine a spotlight on his friend. But there’s shared understanding there, and they’re fairly close friends because of it.

Estinien: This is honestly only headcanon by the thinnest of veils, it’s basically canon, we just don’t get the details. But I like the idea that Estinien’s merge was more than just that he saw Nidhogg’s mind, but that their very souls merged. Maybe not as completely as Shiva and Hraesvelgr, but Estinien is as much or more dragon than he is elezen by this point, his very soul is part Nidhogg’s. He’s… kind of a combination of Estinien and who Nidhogg used to be, the noble soul who protected the star that he was before rage consumed him. So Estinien now is the combination of who the two of them were before they lost themselves to revenge, and he acknowledges that even if he won’t… quite openly admit it. (“Then you and Alphinaud threw my eyes off the bridge, and I’ve never known peace since.” NOT VERY SUBTLE THERE ESTINIEN.)

Joker: While this shouldn’t be hc, it apparently is because Atlas is cowards. Akira has severe trauma from the interrogation room. Don’t touch his wrists, don’t hold him down, not to mention the nightmares, needles, certain phrases (tell him to take responsibility for his reactions and you’re at risk of triggering a panic attack)… and he does not like or trust the police. Period. If you’re in uniform you’re an enemy, and if you want him to trust you you’re going to have to work damn hard for it.

Haru: She’s resentful towards Akechi for taking her opportunity with her father, she’s angry at him… but she doesn’t actually hate him. She wants to, she really does, but he’s… he’s too similar to her, both his situation and his feelings, and she can understand why he did what he did. She hates that she does, that she can’t hate him, and that she really does want to forgive him, but… she really can’t bring herself to hate him. She doesn’t forgive him, even if part of her wants to, because it wasn’t fair and she can at least hold onto that. (In aus where he lives, she decides that the best revenge is to be genuinely kind and caring and unconditionally warm to him, because it makes him intensely uncomfortable and alarmed. Being bitter and spiteful and angry would be letting him win, giving him what he wanted. This was more rewarding, and kind of funny. Not many people looked like they wanted to run out of the building when confronted with a genuine smile.)

Zack: He’s smart, and is perfectly capable of being a manipulative little shit when he needs to be. He can also tell pretty easily when someone is lying to him - once Angeal and Genesis smack the rose-tinted glasses off of him in Banora, he becomes intensely and uncomfortably aware of every little lie and omission and corruption within ShinRa told to him. He tries his best to ignore it, but… well, by the time Nibelheim happens ShinRa’s reaction isn’t even a surprise. He wouldn’t have expected anything less, really.

Tseng: I don’t… really have many? He’s incredibly loyal to Rufus, and despises Hojo and the President, but those are basically canon anyway.

Xaldin: He won’t admit it, but he’s weak for kids. Lea and Isa were annoying as hell, but he was grudgingly fond of both of them (right up until they got themselves killed, sticking their nose into danger that never should have been theirs to contend with - it should have been his. His and Aeleus and Braig and Even, those two and Ienzo never should have gotten involved.) After 3, Xion, Roxas, Namine, Ven, and Kairi make him cave to things far too easily for his comfort. Kairi especially, hanging around Radiant Gardens again as she is, brings up far to many memories of lost days for him.

Lexaeus: I don’t… really have many for him? He also really likes kids, though he isn’t a tsundere about it, and even through the Organization was worried and caring about his family. Broken apart and jagged though they were, at least they were still here for him to keep an eye on. It was good that he died before Zexion though - if he hadn’t he would have reacted very badly, and would have been even more incredibly guilty when he woke back up after DDD.

[virtualitythegamer]

Meet the Creator (Tumblr version) + Face Reveal

Disclaimer: I made this bc it's for a school assignment haha and I'm also taking this as an opportunity to do an about me post for my Tumblr page. To my teacher for this assignment, I hope you don't mind this especially the account I'm using for the activity🥹🥹🥹. Anyway, thanks for understanding 💗

ABOUT ME

Name: Lei

Birthday: 7/18

Age: 16

Pronouns: she/her

Nationality: 🇵🇭

Zodiac Sign: Cancer

Personality Type: INFP

Gender: Genderfluid

Sexual Orientation: Bisexual

My Emojis: 🎧🐈‍⬛🎮💀💜🍕

FAVORITE...

Colors? Purple, green, & black

Music Genre? Pop, indie, modern rock, hip-hop, video game music, & honestly anything that slaps

Movie Genre? Comedy, psychological thriller, fantasy, & musical

Season? Winter

Food? Pizza, takoyaki, noodles, and spicy stuff in general

Hobbies? Gaming, journaling, graffiti art, listening to music, & content creating

Video Games? Persona series, Honkai: Star Rail, Pokemon, Love and Deepspace, Episode, Skullgirls, The World Ends With You series, and The Legend of Zelda series

LIKES

• video games in general

• music

• content creating

• fan edits

• graffiti art

• art in general

• literature

• good food

• grunge

• dark academia

• psychology

• plushies

DISLIKES

• vegetables

• toxicity & lies (both irl and online)

• bad writing in media

• discrimination in general

• plagiarism

• using AI as your own

• lack of authenticity as a person

• hot weather

• being judged and misunderstood

• bad wi-fi

FUN FACTS ABOUT ME

• My name "Lei" is more of a nickname to my "longer" actual first name. I've been called by my nickname by a lot of people in general since it's easier than my actual first name.

• I came up with the online name "Virtuality" (or Virtual for short) because it's supposed to be like a general reference to video games and technology (ironic cuz I'm in HUMSS haha, not that I regret it)

• The reason I took up HUMSS instead of STEM is because I heard HUMSS was better for aspiring psychologists so I took HUMSS.

• I'm a procrastinator by heart so it's sometimes hard for me to stay productive, whether it's with school work or creating content.

• I took up content creating as a hobby because I want to be able to express my interests more freely especially when it comes to video games. It's honestly hard for me sometimes to talk about them irl because there's not a lot of people that share the same interests I have so content creating has been my safe space ever since.

AND BECAUSE YOU MADE IT THIS FAR

Here is my carrd so you can check out more info about it (will update it when I have the time but for now have this one haha)

Thanks for reading and have a good day!

[many-fictives]

Fictive Ask Game by @lightning-flight

1.) What's your source? How connected do you feel to it?

nathan prescott life is strange n im technically a fictpara from a fictparacosm so im canon divergent ig but im not too different from source-nathan just have supplemental memories

2.) Are you mostly canon or AU?

50/50 i think ?? idek 🤷🏼‍♂️

3.) Have you ever met a double?

nah

4.) Do you have any canon mates in-system?

nope

5.) Have you ever met any canon mates outside of your system?

nuh-uh

6.) How do you feel about your source's fandom?

uneasy def a infamous fandom known for being toxic as shit

7.) Do you interact with your source's fandom?

a lil i reblog gifsets n some analysis

8.) What's your gender and sexuality? Is it the same as your canon counterpart's?

demiromantic pansexual demiboy i mean technically source-nathans gender n sexuality is never talked abt so its not canon n its not not canon

9.) Do you read fanfic?

i have never ready anything in my life n im not abt to start now

10.) Do you have any clothes, accessories, etc that make you feel more comfortable when you front?

we got closet cosplay clothes from back when i was a avatar but i dont front enough to rlly need them n also thats a lot of layers (shirt sweater jacket)

11.) What do you miss the most about your world?

dont rlly miss anything just a fragment holding anger

12.) Share an exomemory!

fuck ok

before the storm is NON CANON i was on the swim team when i first went into high school- that was before i ended up schizo n had a psychotic break n had to get put on meds at the end of my freshman yr but i actually met vic at the pool when i first moved to arcadia bay

13.) Does your appearance differ from your canon counterpart's?

i look like the concept art normally but can grease my hair back my pos father doesnt like me looking “unkempt” so he makes me do my hair like that but i dont always

14.) How do you feel about sourcecalls?

could not care less bro id prob never answer a sourcecall or send one out but if a source mate or double interacted w me on this blog id be chill abt it liek im not going out my way looking for source mates but im not avoiding them either

15.) Who in your system are you closest to? What about outside your system?

hollow n rott we r liek brothers hollow is the oldest (24) im in the middle (19) rott is the youngest (15)

16.) Is it hard for you to not take things the fandom says about you personally?

no shit they get v graphic abt the ways i should be traumatized tortured n killed

17.) Have you ever created any art or fic related to your source?

technically i ran @/rott-and-decay in 2016-2017 so kinda

18.) Do you have your own space inworld? What's it like?

i have a bedroom in the 1960s addams family house it looks like my room in blackwell decoration wise but its in the addams house instead so its wood instead of plastered brick

19.) If you could bring one thing from your homeworld to this one, what would it be?

idek i dont rlly miss or long for anything prob bc im just a fragment

20.) What's your favorite piece of media that isn't your own canon?

idek i rlly dont watch things w the rest of the system maybe ill piggyback off hollow n say baby reindeer

[atyd1960]

Marauders era characters and ships as SOUR songs with little to no explanation cause I’m not at all concerningly obsessed w Olivia!!

Brutal as Peter

- I already said on multiple occasions that I think Peter would be Olivia’s n.1 fan

- I’m so insecure I think, that I’ll die before I drink

- I don’t stick up for myself, I’m anxious and nothing can help

- All I did was try my best, this the kinda thanks I get?

Traitor as Crystalflower/Azkaban Wolfstar

- continuing with the Peter is an OR fan narrative thanks to @rmoony01 hehe

- Brown guilty eyes and little white lies

- Loved you at your worst, but that didn’t matter

- Ain’t it funny, all the twisted games, all the questions you used to avoid?

- God I wish that you had thought this through before I went and fell in love with you.

Driver’s License as post break-up Jegulus (Regulus’ PoV)

- You’re probably with that blonde (redhead) girl who always made me doubt, she’s so much older than me, she’s everything I’m insecure about

- You said forever, now I drive alone past your street

- Today I drove through the suburbs, and pictured I was driving home to you

- Can’t drive past the places we used to go to, cause I still fucking love you, babe!

- I kinda wanna quote every single line but I’ll stop here:(

1 Step Forward, 3 Steps Back as 5th year ATYD Wolfstar (specific I know)

- You got me fucked up in the head boy, never doubted myself so much

- Am I pretty am I fun boy? I hate that I give you power over that kinda stuff

- I’d leave you but the rollercoaster’s all I ever had

Good 4 u as Post breakup Marylily (Mary’s PoV)

[They broke up even tho they were in love bc Mary had a lot of internalised homophobia&religious trauma that Lily didn’t really know how to handle]

- Well good for you I guess you moved on really easily, you found a new girl (guy) and it only took a couple weeks

- Now you can be a better man (girl) for your brand new girl (man)

- G4U, you look happy and healthy- not me! If you ever cared to ask

- Remember when you swore to God I was the only person who ever got you? Well screw that! And screw you!

Enough For You as Grant

- I don’t usually talk about Grant but like… my boy just wanted Remus to love him the way he always loved Remus and meanwhile Remus was 2 busy being traumatized by his ex and it makes me so sad

- I wore makeup when we dated cause I thought you’d like me more if I looked like the other prom queens I know that you loved before

- Tried so hard to be everything that you liked, just for you to say you’re not the compliment type

- I knew how you took your coffee and your favorite songs by heart

- I read all of your self help books so you’d think that I was smart

- But don’t tell me you’re sorry, boy, feel sorry for yourself, cause someday I’ll be everything to somebody else

[gonna go cry now xoxoxo]

Jealousy, Jealousy as Marlene

- I kinda wanna throw my phone across the room, cause all I see are girls too good to be true

- I know their beauty’s not my lack, but it feels like that weight is on my back, and I can’t let it go

- I’m so sick of myself

- I see everyone getting all the things I want and I’m happy for them but then again I’m not

- Got a pretty face, a pretty boyfriend too, I wanna be you so bad

Favorite Crime as post prank Wolfstar

- Doe eyed as you buried me, one heart broke, four hands bloody

- The things I did just so I could call you mine, the things you did… well I hope I was your favorite crime

- I crossed my heart as you crossed the line

- everything we broke and all the trouble that we made, but I say that I hate you with a smile on my face

Hope ur ok as all the Marauders!

- Nothing’s forever, nothing’s as good as it seems

- When the clouds won’t iron out and the monsters creep into your house and every door is hard to close… well, I hope you know how proud I am you were created with the courage to unlearn all of their hatred, but, god, I hope that you’re happier today- cause I love you, and I hope that you’re ok.

[rollforjackass]

i'm gonna go ahead and answer all the questions from this fic writer ask game here, because. why not! i'm bored and i'm not used to talking about my own writing. gotta cut the cord on that shame game sometime.

(and if y'all wanna answer some yourself, the post is linked above! absolute guarantee i will send some if you do bc i'm nosy like that)

💘 - Is there any posted fic you want to rework/re-edit/re-write?

oh god yes, a lot of them. i've got chronic perfectionism.

if i were to be kind to myself and narrow it down to one, my poor little Person of Interest fic deadman's switch was my first venture into the fandom i would come to adore, and it could definitely do with some tuning up. with a few rare exceptions, i've never liked post-episode fics that just recap the events of the episode with a few extra sentences of meta thrown in the mix, and unfortunately, i think that's exactly what i did with this fic. i don't think it deserves a complete do-over, but a re-work with a new direction and a concrete destination would do it good.

💫 - what is your favorite kind of comment/feedback?

any and every, but the ones where people share their favorite quotes and tell me what it made them think of and expound on their personal theories and thoughts, AGH!!!! i adore those!!!! go off about all the things you love about the characters and your scenarios for missing scenes, i promise you i am enjoying it immensely!!!!!

🌈 - is there a fic that you worked *really fucking hard on* that no one would ever know? maybe a scene/theme you struggled with?

i mean, by default i feel like i'm a bit of a tryhard with my writing and i feel like that's fairly obvious a lot of the time (for better or for worse 😬). but i guess the one that's outwardly the most relaxed bit of writing and was actually really difficult was the burning question, because. how the hell am i supposed to translate a groupchat format into a fic and keep all the nuances of technology, i.e. nickname changes & people sending walls of text, that are meant to be funny??????

it took me Forever to settle on formatting that i felt maintained the spirit of the jokes, and there's so many folks that think groupchat fics are cringe that i don't think anyone would consider how much effort i had to put into it for a now quite outdated joke lmao. i love groupchat fics myself, though, so i am content with the cringe.

🦋 - what are you most insecure about when you post a fic?

always always ALWAYS characterization. i have the fandom attention span of a mayfly and the combination pizza hut/taco bell that is ADHD/autism to boot, so i pick up strong attachments to characters/media quickly and write my feelings almost as fast as i feel them. which means lots of one-offs that are barely two seasons into a series/one movie into a trilogy. i'm always worried that i'm missing the mark by a mile because i was too impatient to reach a Big Backstory Reveal, or that i've latched onto a single trait not indicative of the whole.

🌻 - what makes you want to give up on writing? what makes you keep going?

what makes me want to give up: the Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known. i used to be super confident in putting myself out there, but i haven't always had support for my special interests and i've rarely had anyone willing to read my writing when asked. makes it hard to enjoy what i'm doing when i've got that annoying little earworm asking me what people would think if they ever eventually read it, even when it's a self-indulgent little thing that i don't plan on posting.

what makes me keep going: i love writing, plain and simple. i love to borrow people's habits, their thoughts, their dreams and hopes and fears and nightmares; i love to see the world from new perspectives. and the idea that what i have to say might connect with people, that people might recognize parts of the characters and stories that they care for in my writing, is pretty damn intoxicating, too.

🌿 - how does creating make you feel?

there's a book series i loved as a kid called The Secrets of Droon, which is about three kids who discover a staircase to another world in their basement, and writing has always felt like that to me. i open the door, and i am somewhere else. these other worlds don't need me to be there for events to unfold, but i can still try to change the things that i don't like if i wanted to. and nobody needs to know that i've been to these worlds, but if i mentioned 'hey i've been to another world', someone somewhere might be interested in what i saw.

idk if that makes sense shdjk but i just!! i like writing. i like seeing what would happen if i changed something. and it feels amazing when something i care about deeply connects with people i don't even know, and who don't know me. it's scary to venture into other worlds, but there's always the chance of finding yourself - and finding new friends - down that magic staircase!!

🍉 - in what ways has writing helped you process trauma and/or navigate through your own life?

whoof, i mean. how hasn't it.

i had a very difficult upbringing that left me absurdly angry with the world and only able to conceive of living as fighting for survival. i wrote stories where i could escape and be free, and i wrote stories where the fight was all there was so i could feel less alone. hell, my first favorite character on tumblr was gabriel from supernatural, running away from his family and still loving them even when it hurt, and writing stories where he was happy or angry or sad felt like validating those feelings in myself. i could fix his problems, even if mine weren't that easy.

these days i struggle with a lot that's out of my control, like PTSD with a very hard-to-avoid trigger. but writing is something that i can curate, that i can tailor to a situation. it's completely in my hands. so when i'm going through something, i can always pick up a pen and scribble out the strong feelings in a way that makes sense to me, if not to anyone else, and then i can close that book or tear the page out or burn it, whatever i want to do with it. i can shuffle through the life of a fictional character and find the times when they felt the way i did, and wonder how they got through it, and sometimes in doing so, i find ways that i can, too.

it certainly helps that i've found myself a good number of favorite characters who go through a lot but still remain hopeful. ones who make a place for themselves in the world that is safe and good, who manage to find the best in people even when being shown their worse.

🎀 - give yourself a compliment about your own writing

i like that i'm willing to try my hand at pretty much anything and give it every ounce of passion i've got, no matter how short a time i may have been in a fandom or how different a character might be from the ones i'm used to writing. tech geek with conflicting superiority/inferiority complexes? sure thing. prim and proper angel who's secretly a bitch? give it a whirl. chain-smoking self-sabotaging magician who's a time capsule of the 80s? devoted dad with apeshit anxiety? codependent gay cannibals? fuck it, we ball.

🎈 - describe your style as a writer; is it fixed? does it change?

mmmm depends on how you define style. i want to say that it's generally all the same, but i do think i change tone A Lot, based on who i'm writing about. partially because i bounce between a lot of british and american shows and i tend to try to adopt the vernacular of the culture the media is based in to make the story more immersive, but also based on the tone and overall themes of the piece, i.e. who's hurt and who's comforting and what their relationship looks like, if one's more comedic or they both are or neither of them are.

i'm a bit of a metaphor & simile hound, for sure, that part's pretty fixed. i tend to like comparing simple things to grandiose ones, if only because i write 90% hurt/comfort and the things i always remember most about times when i've been hurting are the gestures that the comforter doesn't even remember making later on. i think i have consistent struggles in certain areas and consistent strengths in others. but i almost never want the version of me who wrote for, say, Good Omens, writing for Mission Impossible, because to me those are two wildly different atmospheres with wildly different stakes and baseline truths. if that makes sense? so i do try to switch up my style when i feel like it's appropriate.

🎉 - how often do you celebrate completing & posting a work? how often do you give yourself the credit/validation that you seek from others when you post? (if you don't, you should!)

i don't think i celebrate much at all, per se. it's always more of a relief that i've gotten all of the most pressing ideas out of my head for the moment than it is an accomplishment, i guess? i'll probably start trying to celebrate now, though.

as for credit/validation, i don't really know how to measure that. i'm able to acknowledge that i've sent something out into the world to bear scrutiny, and i'm usually able to like what i've written once it's out there, so i guess i give myself credit that way??

💞 - what's the most important part of a story for you? the plot, the characters, the worldbuilding, the technical stuff (grammar etc), the figurative language

characters. always the characters. sometimes to the detriment of the rest of the story.

idk, i tend to start stories because something about a character's reactions/choices grabbed my attention, and flesh out a scenario around how those reactions/choices would be seen by others vs how the character would see it themselves, so the character is always at the heart of my storytelling. i'm always thinking about the faces we put on for different people vs the ones we wear when we're alone. i usually find that as long as i follow a character's patterns of behavior, priorities, and methods of self-expression, the story writes itself.

💝 - what is a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

i don't really have expectations when i post, but the outpouring of love i received for Red Witness was definitely a shocker!! i mean, i'd never even heard of The Mentalist while it was airing from 2008-2015, so i was definitely a latecomer to the fandom, but apparently a lot of folks either rewatched it when the pandemic started or remembered it fondly enough to be excited about me writing for it, so that was a lovely surprise!!

🤍 - what's one fic of yours you think people didn't "get"?

i mean, one of the things i love about writing for fandom is all the variation in opinions and the different takes on what parts of canon are rock-solid vs which should be different, so i don't think it's possible for people to not "get" a fic. it's just one lens through which a set of events and people can be viewed.

that said, i suppose waiting for the hammer to fall didn't land the way i'd hoped it would, as far as my investment in the ideas i was trying to convey vs audience engagement goes, but i can definitely see why it wasn't "gotten". i spent a lot more time trying to mimic the style and feel of Good Omens and relying on that style to convey my ideas for me than i did figuring out how to explain what, exactly, those ideas were.

my intention was to explore "how does someone as buttoned-up as aziraphale, who has lived millennia in peaceful denial, come to terms with an impending confrontation that he absolutely can't avoid or weasel out of?", and that's still something that is very enticing to me, but the fact that he had been in denial his whole existence wasn't something that aziraphale would have been able to recognize on his own. so the execution fell far short of the mark, and i ended up with a few snippets of passable wit and imitative texture that couldn't have connected with a reader even with an operator on the line.

so, as far as the message of the fic goes, i suppose people didn't "get" that one, but it takes reliable postage to deliver a message and i left off all the stamps. (do we think there's been enough methods-of-communication metaphors for one day? everyone's knees sufficiently slapped?)

🕯️ - was there a fic that was really hard on you to write, or took you to a place you didn't think it would take you?

come together (over me) was a BRUTAL undertaking for a number of reasons, which is also why it hasn't been updated in two fucking years, for all my vain intent to finish it.

not only was it my first ever attempt at a multi-chapter fic, but it was also a long and involved discussion of the many different ways that grief can affect people that i started writing less than a year after losing a friend of mine to a tragic accident (which was also the way the mighty nein lost mollymauk). i started writing it in the first place in an attempt to comfort my partner at the time, for whom molly was an all-time favorite, so i was pushing myself obsessively to meet the perfect balance of canon-accurate and partner-approved characterizations, and giving myself a lot of grief about it.

at the same time, the outpouring of shock and despair from the Critical Role fandom was like nothing i had ever experienced before. this was the first PC death of their 2nd campaign, under circumstances that meant it would be a permanent one, and on top of that, mollymauk was - at the time - the only openly queer character in the party. people had become understandably attached.

unfortunately, though, IMO, this meant a large portion of the fandom deified him to unrecognizable extremes. to a lot of new enthusiasts, he became a saintly sacrificial lamb unjustly slaughtered, or worse, "bury your gays" in action (it was a random encounter at a time when the party cleric was away giving birth. just saying). people who disagreed or people who didn't like him all that much were met with outrage. wars of righteous indignation were waged. lines in the sand were drawn. it was a mess.

all this to say, a fledgling fan trying to be as canon-accurate as possible in my characterizations of people who'd known mollymauk, and of mollymauk himself, for this fic centered around what was now the most controversial fandom event i'd ever seen firsthand, had a higher-than-usual chance of getting me absolutely obliterated on the internet. the horror.

so overall, while i did get a lovely response from what i did end up posting, the circumstances of writing it were unexpectedly exhausting. i had a lot of great ideas, still have a solid outline for the rest of it, and i like what i managed to get done, but just thinking about continuing it (especially so long after it was relevant and after so much has been revealed in canon since) is. haunting

💥 - find your least kudos'd fic - say something wonderful about it.

oh Time Doesn't Stop. (but it should), we're really in it now.

my dear, sweet, first ever foray into posting on ao3, i'm still quite proud of you. it's one of the few times i've felt like i could say more with absence than with explanation. it's a time capsule of confidence in myself and in my skills, and i think i did a pretty good job depicting the ways that constantine both self-destructs and lashes out when faced with a situation that he can't worm his way out of. i like the fact that i let each section in the 5+1 format have room to breathe, rather than trying to blend them together into a seamless narrative; it feels more authentic to me, like time has actually been passing.

🍭 - why did you start writing?

re: writing in general, i genuinely can't remember. i've been writing stories since i was old enough to read them. maybe i've always wanted to create something that thinks the same way i do?

re: fanfiction, because i was an insatiable bookworm as a kid and there were never enough stories about the characters and settings i loved to satisfy me, so i decided to start making them up myself. it ain't a party until obi-wan kenobi is helping a larvitar set up a picnic for every legendary pokemon plus dustfinger from Inkheart.

💎 - why is writing important to you?

i don't really have a good answer for this, because i can't think of a reason it wouldn't be, honestly. i guess the closest thing would be: it's important because i've never been good at speaking my thoughts and feelings out loud, but on paper i can say exactly what i mean and have a better chance of being understood. no need for facial expressions that might be misconstrued, no way for anyone to misread my tone of voice, just uncomplicated self-expression.

it also means that i get to share my passions with folks who are just as passionate as i am, and that i have a less awkward social avenue for expressing my appreciation of their candor. integrating and crediting headcanons you adored into your personal interpretation of canon, writing something inspired by a one-off post because it made you feel something...there can be such confounding social rules around complimenting people when you do it verbally or in person, it's nice to be able to say "thank you for caring as much as you do!" by just. applying your craft.

📡 - why is writing and sharing your writing important for fandom?

because of what i said for the last question, it's all a way of sharing how you feel!!! people write because they feel strongly about a subject, whether they love canon or despise it, whether they want to refute a popular characterization they disagree with or expand on an AU that's been making the rounds. not to quote spongebob, but there's love in every stitch, whether you love the way you think about a character/a story or you love the way somebody else does.

it's also a way of preserving fandom over time, as well as the present moment! fan fiction started because of Star Trek fans in the 70s and they're still making trek shows today, the critical receptions of which are strongly influenced by fan interpretations so time-honored as to become gospel!! (snw you know what you did.) writing fics and sharing them with each other is a tradition of story-telling that will outlast us by centuries, and it is damned wonderful to know that what we leave behind are affirmations of love and dedication.

🪄 - what is your post-writing/sharing aftercare? How do you take care of yourself or celebrate yourself when you've finished a fic?

my aftercare is closing out the tab and running away from my computer sdhjk. i'm always very anxious about posting my work, and that's before sharing links or putting it anywhere else, so i usually post any writing i've gotten done right before i go to bed, and then in the morning i can read it with fresh eyes and a calmer brain and pat myself on the back for getting it done. that's a celebration in its way. other than that, drinking water is probably what i do the most after completing something.

🎙️ - which one of your fics would you like someone to make a pod-fic of?

actually, somebody already MADE a podfic of my groupchat fic the burning question, which would have been my answer!!!! the wonderful frecklebomb absolutely made my life when they put that together with their friends, i've never felt anything less than absolute joy remembering it.

🤲 - what do YOU get out of writing?

catharsis, baby! i write a lot of hurt/comfort to fill in gaps that i find myself thinking about between episodes/movies/chapters, and it often ends up being very therapeutic. i get the double pleasure of comforting someone and imagining being comforted, with the cherry on top that is narrative completion (at least by my standards).

💋 - when you leave comments on a fic, do you want to hear back from the writer?

i wouldn't call it a priority when i'm leaving those comments, but it's always lovely when they do reply. i'm a collector of joy, knowing with certainty that i've "repaid" someone for their labor of love is never a bad thing, but i definitely don't expect or seek it. hoard all those compliments for a rainy day, y'all deserve them!!

☯️ - how do you think engaging with each other through tumblr, twitter, comments, kudos, creates healthy fandom experiences? How do you deal with that if you're not a social person/experience social anxiety?

"healthy" really comes down to your point of view in fandom, but i do think that multi-platform engagement for fic authors lets you exercise a level of boundary-setting on social media relationships that the rise of tiktok has sort of blown out of the water.

i'm very tired so i'm not sure i could explain my thought process properly if i tried, but basically, going from an author's works on ao3 to their tumblr/twitter often feels like a delightful sneak peek into the mind behind the magic, while going from an author's tumblr/twitter to their works on ao3 can be like walking into a neighbor's studio and realizing they're michelangelo reincarnated. either way, multi-form engagement makes you value them as a person as much as you value the fruits of their labors.

on a less labyrinthine note, getting a message or comment from someone who read your stuff and loved it can be really comforting! someone who liked your work is among the followers who see your fandom theories and wildly thirsty tags. no matter how self-conscious you may get about Being Perceived, you now have at least one person who liked what they perceived.

that's what comforts me, anyway, as someone who is frequently anxious about making bad impressions and bothering people. it also encourages me to send off that complimentary message i've been thinking about sending for ages, even if i only do it anonymously. if i think i would appreciate getting a message like that, then it's worth doing.

🧿 - what steps do you take to not take things personally if a fic doesn't do well, or if your writing/posting/sharing experience isn't going how you'd like it to?

i really can't stress enough how much i write and post for myself more than for a potential audience. i tell the story that i want to read, not the one i've seen people wishing for. if the two end up being one and the same, that's the best feeling in the world, but it's not the motivating factor behind me writing/posting/sharing.

sometimes i do get less engagement on a fic than i thought i might and it makes me worry that i misread a character, or i write something that i find really funny that never gets commented on, but then i have to remind myself that i only post in the first place when i like it enough to post. if it's up, i've decided i liked it. i didn't decide it was perfect, and i didn't mind-read the fandom to figure out what they're looking for in a fic, and i don't need to as long as it's good enough for me. that's really the only step i take, i guess.

💌 - share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!

rubbing my grubby little paws together because OH BOY, i have a Mission Impossible benji & ilsa hurt/comfort dawning-friendship fic coming down the pipes that is very soft and sweet to me, and involves benji braiding ilsa's hair because she's failed miserably at doing it on her own and she's never had anyone to do it for her. it's my sweet angel baby right now, at least until good omens comes out in 24 hours and my synapses misfire to permanently sear the word 'GAY' behind my eyes.

[rollercoasterwords]

any fave fox recommendations atm???

loving the hand that feeds🫶

hi thank u!! assuming 'fox' is meant to be 'fic' in which case - yes!! rubbing my evil little hands together oh i am so excited

oneshots

hackery by orphan_account - hackery!!! hackery hackery hackery. hackery <3 if u read one thing from this list PLEASE let it be hackery. under 2k words and changed me forever. picked me up and threw me against the wall and ripped out my spine and ate it. i re-read this allll the time because it is just so fucking good. dorcas/lily are at a party that gets ambushed during the first war. go fucking. read it right now.

i would kill for some company (temporarily) by lesbianregulusblack (@lesbiansiriusblack hi liv i am talking abt this again) - beautiful + dark + gorey pandalily fic where pandora is a vampire and lily is a human and it's very hard to say which one of them is more fucked up (check tags on this one - when i say dark + gorey i mean it i gasped as i read and i am a horror enthusiast!)

bibliomancy by redsnake05 - listen ok just LISTEN. yes this is irma pince/minerva mcgonagall. yes it is also irma pince/helga hufflepuff. just. LISTEN. this is one of the most unique stories i have ever read in this fandom. the writer created this whole lore where librarians are like. these otherworldly eternal beings and it follows irma pince's immortal life as she tends the hogwarts library and just. i love it. i love it so much.

completed fics

Notes on a resurrection by newleaves - ok this one is a drarry fix-it fic where unspeakable draco malfoy accidentally raises harry's dad from the dead. and harry's mum. and harry's favorite dada teacher. and--well, u get the picture. i am not kidding when i say this is one of my favorite fics EVER like ever ever ever the lovely @simmy75 recommended it to me and i am now eternally grateful to her bc it altered my brain chemicals permanently. Like. i will try not to go on and on but this is one of the most beautifully and uniquely written stories i have ever read!! it is complex and confusing and feels like trying to put a puzzle together because draco is SUCH an unreliable narrator and just!!! please go read it. even if u are not a drarry fan this fic is AMAZING

Of Memories and Milk Thievery by moonymoment (@blurryayse hi jude i already yelled at u abt how much i love this) - this is the most recent like. longer completed marauders fic that i've read and it!!! is!!!! so!!! good!!! perfect balance of angst and sweetness and jude's writing makes me run around in circles like a dog chasing its own tail. remus + sirius are exes co-parenting teddy + they are both so petty that it leads to shenanigans + confrontations + tears + a poorly-thought-out parent-trap style plot by teddy + harry.

wips

i feel a bit silly even putting this one down because if u follow me on tumblr then surely u are aware of it but! the only fanfic that i'm currently reading that i am like. actually regularly keeping up with is crimson rivers by zeppazariel (@zeppazariel hi zar my sister still needs to read the new ch but once she does she is going to agree w me about the bagel bc i am RIGHT) bc i am reading it along with my sister! hunger games jegulus au, if u aren't already reading this then u are missing out i promise u it is soooooo fun (for angst-enjoyers. for everyone else...well.)

however! i also have...18 ongoing wips that i have like. started reading but have not had time to keep up with simply because. that is so many. and life is so busy. and also ao3 doesn't send me emails even tho i'm subscribed for some reason (if anyone knows how to fix this please help meeeee)

but anyway here are some of my favorites of those that i've started for anyone looking for some wips to get into!!

Invisible String by a1phab3ts0up - dorlene pirate au!!! dorlene pirate au <3 enemies to lovers <3 dorcas and marlene are rival pirate captains who reluctantly agree to work together !!! background wolfstar and jegulus and marylily! i absolutely cannot WAIT to catch up on this

honey honey by aeoneskova (@aeoneskova) - au where marlene survives the first war and raises harry. i've only read the first chapter but this is like. at the top of my list for once i have more time to read longer fics bc the first chapter was so fucking good!!!

A Darling, A Demon, A Lamb by brightened - this one is a very dark alice/lily first war fic told from lily's pov. very very heavy so please check warnings + everything if u decide to read - i love angst and i love dark fics and this is beautifully written so i'm kind of obsessed <3 currently on hiatus but the day it comes back i will be devouring it posthaste

when it's warm again by moonymoment (@blurryayse hello again jude. i have only made it through the first two ch of this i think but rest assured that i will once again become a cat dragging dead birds to ur doorstep once i have time to sit down and finish it <3 ) - another moonymoment fic!! because nobody is doing it like jude!! mermaid remus and human sirius <3 kicking and screaming and jumping up and down and chewing on my fingers. (also this one is almost done!!! one ch to go??? wowowowowow)