#one might say I was a
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lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)
if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.
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no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.
I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.
I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.
If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.
#cw: suicidal ideation#cw: suicide#cw: self harm#cw: mental health#cw: depression#i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it#i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague#it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves#so. please dont#for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic#with the state of the world as it is#having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful#but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full#and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead#i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us#there is no fix-all#and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile#i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it#thank you for reading#and please stay alive#stillindigo art#stillindigo comics
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Physically? I am sitting in my bedroom. Mentally? Spiritually? I AM DEAD ON THE FLOOR!!!!! THESE TWO HAVE KILLED ME!!!!
(Another drawing! This was originally attempt #1 at drawing stan, and then fiddleford just showed up. Kinda feels like them five minutes after the above acting like nothing happened though, so it works sdjkgkjfshj)
#HEALED FIDDLEFORD HAS ME BOUNCING OFF THE FUCKING WALLS!!!!!!! GIVE THE MAN A BRIGHT HAPPY FUTURE!!! FUCK!!!!!#I don't know how i'm coming off right now#when i say that i've been super manic about them for the past week I really mean it#guys Idk but I think I might be fiddlestans number one fan#I liked this pairing before book of bill and after reading it it only solidified things#IT IS SO MUCH MORE THAN A CRACK SHIP TO ME!!!!!!!!#fiddlestan#gravity falls#anyway this is supposed to be them the next summer#stan is working the shack to tutor soos for tourist season#fiddleford has changed while the twins were on the stan o war#STAN DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO FEEL AT FIRST and they have a lot of shit to work through from their past before they can start making out dksjds#sketchbook#traditional art#pencil drawing#traditional drawing#stanley pines#fiddleford mcgucket#gravity falls fanart
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Dog Meshi.
#dungeon meshi#falin touden#marcille donato#laios touden#The foreshadowing of the laios's barking is so funny. It isn't even just Marcille's flashback. It's everywhere.#It's the love of dogs. How he intimidates the basilisk. General fascination with creatures and their behaviours.#This is a man who is would not be a furry per say but would own a fursuit for the fascination of the craft.#Laios is the guy in the forums rating people's hybrid fursonas for nothing but the love of creatures.#Dog Laios would use his powers to go into dog-free restaurants.#That human impression is so good. One might say 'Woah who's that confident hairy guy? Alright boss; in you go.'#He would be the no.1 customer of a New York Deli that has no legal business license but makes the best sandwiches in the city.#“Would Senshi run it?” I think he would also be a dog in this theoretical AU. Which...makes the scene even funnier actually.#A comic in which everyone is dogs was never something I thought I'd make but here we are!#Marcille is a borzoi (elf of dogs). Tolden siblings are golden lab-retrievers.#Senshi is a scottish terrier. Chilchuck is harder; I need to think on that one. Another terrier perhaps.#Happy Thistle Thursday once again. I hope this comic makes someone laugh half as much as I did while drawing it.
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[AU in which neither of them becomes a pro-hero part 2]
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Someone needs to say this to Deku but in the meantime I'll do it myself ♡♡
#bkdk#bakudeku#dkbk#mha#my hero academia#my hero academia au#my hero academia fanart#boku no hero academia#boku no hero fanart#bakudeku fanart#posting before the next chapter so if it happens I can say I predicted it#also i'm really proud of the anatomy and poses on this one#might color later
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I had this dumb idea going ‘round in my head so I let it out as a quick comic.
NEXT
#Hazbin hotel#radioapple#hazbin alastor#hazbin lucifer#hazbin hotel comic#hazbin hotel fanart#lucifer morningstar#hazbin hotel alastor#flower meanings from my copy of The language of Flowers by Mandy Kirkby#except the lily. I already knew that one#felt like something Alastor would do while ‘playing nice’#I’m not a flower expert so the comparative sizing might be off#so if they are let’s just say they can grow like that in hell…#click for better quality
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say it with me melvik pre series toxic situationship
#theyre enemies with benefits ok#MELVIK NATION HELLOOO#these were really quick i had to do it haha but i might render the shaded one idk i quite like itttt#idk what else to say im shy but hope this finds its people#pls someone write more fics of them but also i want them to be mean to each other ok#anyways#arcane#mel medarda#viktor arcane#melvik#lambiart#my art
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Huh.
So I randomly remembered Croc is pretty much Italian.
#if Buggy had wheels he'd go Chop-Chop Car#this might be the stupidest thing I put effort in#Anyway I love them#One Piece#Cross Guild#Dracule Mihawk#Sir Crocodile#Crocodile One Piece#Buggy the Clown#OP Spoilers#One Piece Spoilers#just to be safe#in greek we say the same thing but use “scooter” instead#which is arguably dumber#Mihawk doesn't think highly of Buggy he's just guessing the wasted potential#nnobodiusart
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The books reveal that Ford is actually a secret partier
(Available as a print on my Etsy Shop)
(wips under cut)
#doctorsiren#gravity falls#the book of bill#billford#journal 3#stanford pines#bill cipher#jheselbraum the unswerving#gravity falls fanart#digital art#my art#procreate#RAHH MY LOVE FOR MAKING MIDCENTURY-STYLE ART AT TIMES CAME IN SUPER HANDY#I think I surprised myself here 😳#(also don’t take this as shipping him and Jhes 😭💀 that’s his space fish mom 😁)#in the book of bill. obviously he and bill get drunk that time#and then in the 3rd journal#it says that after Jhes told him he had the face of the man who would defeat bill (meaning stanley lmao)#he ‘was so excited’ that he and Jhes ‘spent the entire night partying and drinking cosmic sand’#it’s funny bc Jhes is described as speaking with a steely resolve and is very calm#so it’s silly to me to picture her partying haha#I might make this one a print as well bc I really love how it looks#I’ll print it out tomorrow and decide if it’ll work well enough :) if it does I’ll put it on my shop#😭 the bill…his thumb is backwards BUT THATS NOT MY FAULT THATS LITERALLY HOW IT IS IN THE BOOK OF BILL PAGE THAT I REFERENCEDTHIS FROM WAHH#he can do whatever he wants ig
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It is extremely disturbing how many posts I see claiming that Roe v. Wade was overturned on Biden's watch and blaming him and the Democratic Party for it. It's disturbing on a number of levels.
First, it was Trump and Bush-appointed justices who handed down the Dobbs decision. This is a flagrant example of blaming Democrats for things Republicans did, and not coincidentally is one of the the most widely felt differences between the two parties. As a result, it's usually the first example Democrats and their allies point to; this misappropriation suggests a deliberate attempt to undercut that fact.
Secondly, and related to the first point, it obfuscates who the real enemy is, and I am comfortable using word "enemy" to describe the Republican Party because of the policies they advocate and enact. The truth is that states controlled by the Republican Party were where the effects of Dobbs are most severely felt, while states controlled by the Democratic Party are passing laws to protect abortion. It is important to know which party opposes abortion and which party supports it. If the Republicans gain control of the House, Senate, and White House, they will pass a national abortion ban, as they have done at the state level in several places.
Thirdly, blaming Biden for Dobbs demonstrates a very concerning lack of understanding of how the government functions. The judiciary is its own branch of government; judges are appointed by the president and confirmed by the senate. It doesn't matter who is president when a decision is handed down, it matters who was president when the justices were appointed. People sometimes react to this by moving the goalposts and claiming the real issue was a failure by Democrats to "codify" Roe v. Wade. I am not sure what "codify" means in this context, and I'm not sure they are either. One thing it does not mean is that congress can pass a law saying "abortion is legal forever." Republicans could easily repeal such a law and it the federal government cannot necessarily prevent states from restricting abortion at the state level. Roe v. Wade was a ruling stating that the constitution guaranteed a right to privacy, which included the right to have an abortion. This prevented abortion restrictions in a way federal law cannot. That doesn't mean passing federal law protecting abortion is a bad idea, but it isn't a foolproof protection. It's fair to argue that the Democratic Party and the left of center generally were complacent about abortion. The form of this complacency was not taking the courts seriously, while the right spent fifty years openly filling the courts with anti-abortion judges.
The last thing that worries me is that this is popping up phrased almost the exact same way all over the place. I am afraid that it is not merely incompetence, but intentional misinformation, that is then repeated by the incompetent who believe it.
I know some will probably dismiss this post as being from a "vote harder" liberal Biden supporter, but whatever your feelings about Biden, the Democratic Party, or the democratic process in the U.S., you should care about the truth. The truth is that Roe v. Wade was overturned by Republican-appointed judges and abortion bans are being enacted by Republican elected officials, and Joe Biden opposes these things. You can do with that information whatever you wish, but you denying it is dishonest.
#you can't build a leftist movement on dishonesty#i might have to mute this one too but i needed to say it
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uh guys why would someone say that to a grown ass man i dont get it
#i drew this months ago but never posted it <//3 so here u go#i've been too busy playing minecraft thats why i vanished like.. one might say... a Ghost#anyways aha#trans#wolverine#my art#ghostlydoodles#james logan howlett#xmen#artists on tumblr#trans pride#x-men#transgender#x men#marvel#lgbtq
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"But if college was free, then people would abuse that and get useless degrees" hell yeah I would! If I could go to college without debt I would make it my job to get a degree in every little thing that interested me. I'd get a doctorate in film studies. I'd have a bachelor's degree for every science I like. I'd try to learn at least 5 languages with varying results. I would learn something "useful" like coding and then follow it up with a ""useless"" degree like art history. I'd be the world record speed run holder for getting every degree possible.
But I can't afford college without going into massive debt, so instead I spent the last 5 years trying to figure out what I am passionate enough about to consider going into debt over, because unfortunately being passionate about everything is extremely expensive to pursue.
#simon says#i love learning so much and I hate the USA's college debt system#once they make that shit free I will be unstoppable#this topic sprung up because I had the idea that im very academic and annoyingly analytical that I might as well get a degree in it#because without a degree you just seem like an autistic asshole#but with a degree? then you look like a CREDIBLE autistic asshole#don't worry I will still learn but I still want that funky piece of paper to tell everyone I learnt it#also there's some things that are VERY difficult to learn#like I would love to persue this topic further but unfortunately I would need help with that#also before you say 'try taking [blank] classes instead! it's less expensive than a degree!' im broke#my only learning resource is the library sorry about that#also this is not the post to give me unwarranted financial advice#finances are one of the topics I DO NOT care about and I WILL NOT listen to a word you say
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this is the dynamic they have going on in my head.
#box art#dead by daylight#dbd#mikaela reid#sable ward#the unknown#dbd unknown#dbd the unknown#ive never drawn sable or mikaela and i did it with minimal reference so they might look a little wack lol#brought to you by 'I cant help it but let sables go as unknown and if there's a sable and mikaela i have to let them both go'#i have this thing. where i tend to let go whatever survivor is the killer im playing's counterpart#but its been happening WAY more as unknown because sables try to befriend me so much??#at least every other round against a sable one of them will try to get me to be friendly with them. and i just cant say no.
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"D-Don't worry about me! Focus on helping the little one, okay?" 🌠 panel redraw of @laikascomet
#laikas comet#laika's comet#laika bones#yue bones#(? i dug a lil bit but if that's not his last name im a silly goose!!)#panel redraw#animation#gif#animated comic panel#lc laika#lc yue#original art by willow woods / fourleaf / fourleafisland / the original author!!#i made this a little after this page came out and then didnt post it because i kept waiting to add the book lol#i will say it every time if you havent read laikas comet you should read laikas comet#definitely one of my all time faves#also this is a really compressed gif (tumblr quality is cruel) but i might rb this with the mp4 version#doing the border effects in after effects was so much fun i wanna try something composition intensive again but with davinci resolve#animation done in flipaclip and background in procreate :]#okay bye ily have a good day!
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i see a lot of people talk about edward being disabled in fma, but it's less often talked about how alphonse is also disabled. i think it's partially because alphonse doesn't experience physical pain like edward so for a majority of the series, he's not having any of those kind of symptoms, but he is still disabled. also because alphonse's experiences are unique. like you don't see ant walking, talking suits of armour in real life (unless they're piloted by a human being physically inside them) and in world, there are about 3 others like alphonse).
alphonse is dependent on edward's survival to function. after fighting scar for the first time, alphonse is literally in pieces. he can't walk or anything until edward is in a position to fix him. similarly his body is dependent on nutrients from edward's body. like there's the point towards the end where edward gets impaled and alphonse collapses. furthermore, these periods where alphonse collapses start to become debilitating towards the end of the series and massively alter his daily living.
also, alphonse constantly talks about how upsetting it is for him to not feel any physical sensations. yeah, he's not feeling physical pain, but he's also not feeling the warmth of a fire, the sun on his face, or the fluffiness of the cats he keeps petting. he talks a lot about not being able to eat or sleep, and how there's a lot of foods he wants to try.
there's another thing that highlighted by edward at one point. alphonse's body doesn't regenerate at all. the parts scar destroys are gone forever; edward stretches out the metal that alphonse has left to repair his body. and obviously human beings don't regrow limbs, but imagine if your skin didn't ever heal over a cut. how long would your body last?
also alphonse gets told several times that his body is great throughout the series, and he literally argues against it every time, because to him it is shit. like he is missing some of his senses just for some supposedly immortal body that isn't even immortal.
even once alphonse gets his own body back, the amount of physical therapy the boy has to go through. his body has essentially been doing nothing and only receiving what nutrients it can get from edward for years. by the end of the series, he's still using a cane as a walking aid. it's unknown whether he requires that cane for the years to come, but for at least a period of time he requires a mobility aid. I don't know enough to say what effect muscle decay from inactivity and severe malnourishment during a major portion of his teenage years would have long term.
#fullmetal alchemist brotherhood#fullmetal alchemist#fmab spoilers#fmab#fma#fma brotherhood#alphonse elric#i will say im able bodied so that might influence my perception#also if any of the language or thoughts i had seem wrong or are used poorly then i do apologise#im writing this in the middle of the night so my brain is low-key soup#i just do think alphonse suffers as a result of his armoured body and alphonse edward and winry are the only ones to really talk about it
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Teyvat's "Most Down Bad" Award Goes to Alhaitham for a Second Year Running
Seeing everyone making fun of Alhaitham for his "stalkerish" tendencies in this event is funny, because I feel like a lot of people missed that "Be literally everywhere Kaveh is" has been Alhaitham's MO from the day Kaveh appeared in the game.
From only grabbing his house keys after Kaveh returned from the desert (he couldn't have had both sets of keys at the end of the Archon Quest unless he went home and got Kaveh's copy) to ditching conversations to get back to his house only after Kaveh came home, to showing up without any warning or explanation in Kaveh's hangout with some ridiculous excuse about hearing his voice through noise-cancelling headphones... Refusing to offer any help in the Temple of Silence story quest other than staying in the library with Kaveh...
Since when does Alhaitham willingly cover anyone else's duties?
But this trend of "Be everywhere Kaveh is" didn't start when they were adults. It was already in place when they were still Akademiya students--and it's a trend that didn't end even when they had their fight.
Even when they weren't speaking, Alhaitham dogged Kaveh's every step through published responses to Kaveh's research articles in academic journals. He insisted on keeping a line of communication between himself and Kaveh open, even if the only way to do that was through very public ideological clashes. Pulling Kaveh's pigtails to get his attention lolol. It's implied that, for at least the few years between their fight and Kaveh moving in, this was the only communication between them--Alhaitham's refusal to allow their connection to entirely fade away. (And the fact that this is revealed in Kaveh's character stories--through his precious journal that records the moments of his life that had the most impact on him--shows just how deeply he values the fact that Alhaitham didn't give up.)
Another relevant side note: Alhaitham never asked Kaveh to give up his half of their house. Knowing half of it belonged to Kaveh, knowing that Kaveh may one day want to reclaim his part of it, knowing that it was listed as theirs, Alhaitham moved into the house and made zero effort to change its ownership. He was completely fine with living in "his and Kaveh's house." The stories suggest it was only months later (or even longer) that Kaveh even noticed he had the house, and he transferred away ownership of his portion without Alhaitham ever asking him (or even seemingly wanting him) to do so.
Please, let that sink in. Alhaitham actively left his grandmother's (presumably comfortable) house to move into "his and Kaveh's house," with no apparent explanation for why, and after doing so, he made no attempt to change that "his and Kaveh's" label. He moved into the house with no promise that Kaveh wouldn't show up on the doorstep the very next day and move in too. It almost feels like another deliberate provocation--I've moved into our house, are you going to come stop me? LBR, if Alhaitham had had his way, Kaveh would have been living there with him from Day 1...
There's also the fact that Kaveh literally can't write on a single message board anywhere in the entire nation of Sumeru without Alhaitham hunting his messages down and responding to them (which absolutely no one else does, by the way).
"NUH-UH!" "UH-HUH." "NUH-UH!"
Alhaitham's own character stories tell us explicitly that one of Alhaitham's defining character traits is "He is never where you need him to be," yet somehow...
Shot, and chaser:
Any time Kaveh is in the slightest bit of need or danger or just wants Alhaitham near, Alhaitham is "coincidentally" exactly where Kaveh needs him to be, whenever Kaveh needs him to be there.
Alhaitham didn't just "happen" to run into Kaveh in Port Ormos, an entirely different city from where he was supposed to be working. He didn't just "happen" to read the same terrible book as Kaveh when we know he otherwise would not waste a moment of his time on poorly-written literature...
He didn't just "happen" to appear when Kaveh was upset and needed a distraction in the House of Daena during Kaveh's hangout. He didn't just "happen" to be sitting around waiting when Kaveh needed answers after the Archon Quest. He didn't just "happen" to find Kaveh's academic publications and every single message board posting and respond to them at length and in public.
Which is exactly what Kaveh's mother told Kaveh he needed.
What level of down bad is "Abusing your powers as an Akademiya employee to keep tabs on your crush's library loans"? Just asking for a friend.
The only person for whom Alhaitham just "happens" to be available is Kaveh, over and over and over again--because he is very deliberately making himself a constant presence in Kaveh's life.
(Like, out of all things, I think people really underestimate the devs deliberately paralleling the romantic relationship between Kaveh's mother and father with Kaveh and Alhaitham's relationship. If you want to point to one thing that says "These two characters are intentionally queer-coded," it doesn't get any more obvious than this.)
Alhaitham, are you not embarrassed to be this transparent??? 🫣
#genshin impact#haikaveh#kavetham#alhaitham#kaveh#I wasn't even looking for half these screencaps#I was just scrolling through the content and “Oops; there's another one”#imagine thinking it's a “coincidence” to run into someone in a desert that stretches hundreds to thousands of miles#I say this in the most positive way possible#but I think Alhaitham might actually need an intervention#bro is reading PULP FICTION for a man#checking the message boards daily for updates from a dude he already lives with#skipping work to do favors for his favorite#I would say his Kaveh hyper-focus is impacting his quality of life#but Kaveh IS his quality of life so...#do you think the merchants in the market are getting savvy#when they see Alhaitham coming they're just like#“Oh Mister Alhaitham! Mister Kaveh was really admiring this painting the last time he came through--”#how many times do you think Alhaitham's brought home new foods only to never buy them again because Kaveh didn't like them?#we could end world deforestation with Alhaitham's pining alone
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Kabru has a secret admirer in the castle!
#running from my responsibilities (drawing armour) by imagining post canon Kabru fashion#minor spoilers in the tags!#royal advisor Kabru’s office is probably overflowing with gifts from foreign dignitaries eyeing him up for marriage#and sacks of perfumed letters from Melini citizens#Marcille would be so sick of it#Laios also has his fair share of proposals#Yaad is like … boys spare us all and pick a suitable candidate already#well Yaad there’s a saying that goes two birds one stone#anyway lol#someone might have suggested to Laios ‘hey Kabru works so hard. you should show your appreciation.’#Laios (blushing sweating): uuuh how do i do that#Marcille probably: i hear it’s customary to give your royal advisor flowers the same colour as their beautiful blue eyes#Laios: well if you say so#but he starts having second thoughts bcs what if the gift is too romantic#so then Laios is like oh i know i just won’t sign it (:#fool proof plan Laios good job#totally not taking into account that Kabru can recognize his penmanship at a first glance#so at their next meeting Kabru is like ‘i wonder who my secret admirer in the castle is 😉’#and Laios sweats so hard he falls out of his throne#doesn’t Kabru of Melini have a nice ring to it#better yet …. Kabru Touden#much to consider#dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi spoilers#kabru#kabru of utaya#labru#if you squint#wasabi doodles
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