#one job ive been told multiple times not to “trust anyone”

[birbabri]

Bit of a vent post

[flezhleaf]

I doubt that anyone is going to read this.

Hello, Jasper Here, I want to address my Behavior especially back in August-Now

I am ashamed of My Past behaviors.

I acknowledged that the things i was doing wasnt right.. but Semi-Abusive..

ive been working on myself on Twitter and had made some amazing Friends!!

Its nice that im able to return here!

Which the First part was cutting off the People who cared about me. Including Cj.

The Main reason why ive cut people off is either they were Zionists, Groomers, Racists, Abusers, Or Ive Cut you off for no reason at all(Which is due to having multiple Depressive episodes)

Now, Do I regret cutting My Former Friends(Including an Ex-Irl Friend) Off?

Kinda.

Ive gained something… to the point i barely trust anyone outside my friends circle. Ive been through Relationships involving Me Hurting the person in the Relationship, In fact I was called out by one of my exes because ive blatantly told them that I didnt care anymore, Which is partially True. We are now on Semi-Neutral terms.

The next section included me Defending a Transphobe. Ive cut that Terf off for being an Open Zionist. They also Supported the CCP While the CCP Is Committing Genocide against the Uyghur People.

The Third Section is the Documents ive made. The majority of them were during depressive Episodes. Again like the first section, I thought calling myself out was Justifiable at the time.

The Fourth Section Took place At Halloween Last Year. Ive Posted A Now-Deleted Callout Post on Adam Katz for Having an Israeli Flag in his Bio. I didnt know that Adam was Jewish, Which I was Told that Adam was infact Jewish. That was a couple minutes after the Callout post. Adam Had addressed this, and Changed His Bio. People Have been Blaming Me for Adam Getting Harassed, Which My Mutuals were mixed on it. Some of them thought that pointing it out was justifiable at the time, While the other people told me that Ive shouldve posted it in the First Place. Afterwards Adam had received so much harassment to the point he deleted Twitter and Privated his personal Instagram. People were Justifiably Accusing me of My Moot of Sending Our Fanbases to Attack Adam.

Thats not the Case. Because Last Month, The Entire II team was attacked and Harassed for Releasing III 18 During Strike Week. Some of the Team was Aware of the Strike at the Time. The OSC Had the Audacity to Attack The II Team over the Release of the episode. Which Lead me to make a Huge ass Rant about the OSC. The Points in my Rants Still Stand By.

I Sincerely apologize to the II Crew, Especially Adam, For getting Harassed because of a Genuine Concern i had back in October 2023.

The Final Section Is The Future with My Platforms, And the Progress I was making.

I havent got Therapy Yet, But thats being processed. I’ve Apologized to Mostly Everyone that ive hurt Within 2022-23. And Ive Applied for Multiple Jobs thanks to a Job Coach. Hell i had my first interview last month!! And Im still in process for disability. Ive Been Sober from Self Harm for Almost a Week, and Im slowly but steadily Realizing Who I really am.

Hello, Im Jasper, Im Transmasc-Genderfluid Bisexual-Demiromantic Objectum. And I go by They/Them Pronouns!

Thanks for Letting me reflect on my past behaviors and Im showing Signs of improvement.

Stay Safe Everyone, Goodnight

[two-calicos-in-a-trenchcoat]

Ive never played among us but yea thats probably what I would do

Like I havent even had that many shitty coworkers

I had like. Maybe 1 truly bad coworker that I started to flat out refuse to work with

The rest were just lazy and didn't want to be there so they wouldn't do their job and then sometimes blamed ME for not doing things when they spent the whole shift on their phone making me handle the customers alone on top of trying to get my other responsibilities done. But like. I can deal with that and my managers would check the cameras when I told them what really happened so it was more just a minor annoyance.

anyone else playing among us ever watch the impostor kill a crewmate and then just.. not mention it during meetings? just bc some part of u is like, Fuck coworkers...

[cluster-fandom]

Not the day for this

Atsumu, Oikawa, and Noya prank their S/O on a bad day

Warnings: Swearing, food/eating || hospital mention, knife mention, stitches mention, and getting a cut in Noya’s (nothing descriptive just the words themselves)

A/N: This is my first time writing for multiple characters! I enjoyed this a lot 

I was heavily inspired by @kybabi​ !! Go check them out if you haven’t before :)

Atsumu

• Today was not your day at all

• You had failed a test and got in an argument with your best friend

• So all you really wanted to do was come home to your boyfriend and relax

• Unfortunately Atsumu was not aware of how your day had been going

• You both liked to poke fun at each other and this time Atsumu had planned what he thought was an amazing prank

• He couldn’t wait for you to get home

You were driving home from university to your shared apartment with Atsumu. Between the frustration of scoring low a test you had studied so hard for and getting into a dumb fight with one of your best friends, you were ready to snap. The heat didn’t help anything either. At the very least you got to come home to Atsumu. The thought of being wrapped up in your boyfriends arms had kept you from lashing out at anyone that came in contact with you.

You two had been together for over a year and while he could be insufferable at times, you adored him. He was always making you laugh through his ridiculousness, and you were the same. But your favorite memories were when he looked at you with that lopsided grin and said that he loved you.

As you walked up to your front door you noticed it was slightly open.

‘Did Atsumu forget to close the door?’ You briefly wonder before going inside where it was cool.

“Ats-OH MY GOD!”

You were drenched in ice water and the bucket that had been sitting on the door clanked to the floor.

“HEY BABE I THOUGHT YOU COULD USE SOME COOLING OFF!” Atsumu grinned, finding his prank hilarious.

“FUCKING HELL ATSUMU THIS WAS NOT WHAT I NEEDED TODAY!” You yell as you shake your arms of water.

You shove past him towards the bathroom where you could get a towel and hairdryer.

“Wait wait wait! It was just a joke I’m sorry!” He’s fumbling over his words in confusion.

He follows you into the bathroom where you were shoving things out of the way to get your hairdryer out of the cabinet.

“Babe- I’m sorry I didn’t know you’d be mad!” He whines.

You ignore him as you try to (unsuccessfully) untangle the cord of your hairdryer.

“God-dammit-“ you mumble as you only end up getting it more tangled.

“Do you want me to hel-“

“NO ATSUMU IVE GOT IT!” You snap at him.

“Why are you so mad?” He’s genuinely confused. You’ve never been this mad at a prank before?? And this wasn’t even the worst one he’s done-

“I DONT KNOW MAYBE ITS BECAUSE IM DRENCHED AND FREEZING FUCKING COLD? JUST- LEAVE ME ALONE RIGHT NOW!” You’re just done with everything and Atsumu can clearly tell he’s not making anything better at the moment so he retreats to the living room.

After you’ve dried your hair and changed into some dry clothes you went to you and Atsumu’s shared bedroom.

You were scrolling on your phone when there was a knock at the door.

Atsumu cautiously stepped into the room.

“Y/N, can we talk?”

You sighed and set your phone aside.

When you nodded, Atsumu sat on the bed in front of you.

“I’m sorry I upset you. The prank wasn’t funny,” he looked at you with guilty eyes.

“I’m not mad about the prank. I’ve just had a really bad day and it all piled up and I took it out on you. I shouldn’t have yelled, I’m sorry.”

You explained the events of your day and how you had wanted some quality time with him, and instead you had gotten an ice bath.

“I’m so sorry Y/N, I never wanted to make you feel so bad. Let me make it up to you?” He pleaded. He gave you his biggest puppy dog eyes. (🥺)

Your heart melted and of course you said yes.

He perked up immediately, rushing out of the room. He came back with an armful of snacks and settled in next to you. He switched on your favorite movie and pulled you onto his lap.

“I love you so, so much baby,” he whispered into your hair. He leaned down to press a kiss into your cheek.

“And I love you,” you whispered back.

Oikawa

• You knew that with dating Oikawa, people would be jealous

• But his fangirls could get really bad sometimes

• Today they had been following you around saying how you weren’t pretty enough, smart enough for him

• It had gotten to you a little bit

• So you were ready to be home with your boyfriend away from others eyes

• Oikawa had no clue of this though and had devised, in his mind, a brilliant prank to get a rise out of you once you got home

You were finally home to your apartment with Oikawa. He had been on his phone when you walked in and greeted you with his signature grin. After a tight hug, he said he needed to go grab something in the bedroom.

You settled down on the couch letting your body relax on the plush cushions.

*bzzt bzzt*

You looked to see that Oikawa had left his phone behind. You were about to go back to resting, until you registered the name of the sender.

You bolted upright and grabbed the phone, hoping you had read it wrong.

#1 Fangirl 😉

You and Oikawa had been together for a year and you trusted him with your entire being. But seeing that name made fear pool in your stomach.

You didn’t dare to unlock his phone, despite knowing his password, for fear of what you might find.

Your thoughts were running a mile a minute as you entered your bedroom where Oikawa was in the closet.

Was there someone else? He wouldn’t do that to you right? He seemed so happy with you. He had never said he wasn’t satisfied with anything at all. Nothing had changed recently, so was something going on the whole time? Were his fangirls right?

That last question scared you the most.

“Love?” You called out.

Oikawa had a devilish smirk on his face. He knew that you would have seen the texts by now. He had come up with the prank a few days ago and was excited for you to get smart with him and call out the obvious.

“Yes?” He called back, not looking to you.

“Who’s number one fangirl?” You said, voice shaking. You didn’t know when your vision had started going blurry.

At the sound of your shaky voice, your boyfriend whipped around, eyes wide.

“Oh Angel, it’s nobody, it was all a prank I swear,” he pulled you to his chest, “I asked Iwa-Chan to help me, that’s who’s actually sending the texts.”

“S-so you’re not cheating on me?” You hiccup slightly and Oikawa’s heart aches he wipes away a stray tear. He mentally slaps himself for making you insecure.

“Never. I would never leave you for some other girl who just wants me for my looks. You love me for who I am and I am so, so grateful to have you,” he holds you tighter to him.

Once you’ve collected yourself, you tell him about all the things that had been said to you and how it had made you doubt if you were good enough for him. He quietly listened to you talk, holding you the entire time until you were finished.

He gently lifted your face up to meet his eyes. You noticed how his jaw was clenched and his lips were pressed in a thin line.

“Y/N. I am so sorry that those people made you feel unworthy. I promise, you are more than I could have ever asked for. They won’t bother you again ok?” His voice was low, but still as gentle as ever. His eyes softened as he looked at you. He let his muscles relax and gave you a small smile.

Your heart felt full as you nodded.

“Okay, now why don’t we go to the couch and cuddle for a while. Let me show you how much I love you,” he gave your forehead a light kiss.

You smiled up at him.

“I love you Tōru.”

“I love you more, Angel.”

Nishinoya

• You were one inconvenience away from exploding

• You worked the customer service center at your malls department store (it hadn’t been your first choice but you needed money) and you had already had to deal with two Karens this morning

• The second one actually made your manager come down, who wasn’t happy about that

• So now you were at risk of losing your job

• Thankfully though you finally got to go on your lunch break

• You were excited because your boyfriend had time to spend it with you today

• You needed the pick me up and Noya’s naturally energetic personality never failed to do so

• Unfortunately, Nishinoya decided that today was the perfect day to execute his genius prank

You growled in annoyance as your keys got momentarily stuck in the lock to your apartment.

You had been yelled at three times today already. By two entitled middle aged women who wouldn’t listen to you no matter how many times you gave an explanation to them, and then by your manager who told you off for making him get involved with your “nonsense.”

You had been hanging on to your last shred of self control to not start screaming at your boss.

But you were home now and were more than ready to have a nice lunch with your boyfriend.

“Y/N! YOU’RE HOME!” You stumbled back as you were tackled in a hug.

“I made you lunch!” Noya grinned as he released you from his hold.

You giggled as he grabbed your hand to lead you to the kitchen.

Now, you loved Noya, but his cooking was, well, not edible sometimes. But he seemed to have gone pretty safe this time around.

There were two bowls of ramen with bread rolls on the side.

“Looks like someone was busy,” you tease. He rolls his eyes and motions for you to eat.

You were listening to Noya talk about his morning while you ate.

“And then I-“

“AH! HOT! HOT! HOT!” You were panting. The noodles were spicier than you could handle. You took a bite of the bread and nearly puked.

“Is- IS THAT MAYONNAISE?!?” You cough trying to get the awful tastes out your mouth. You rush to the fridge and down a glass of milk.

“Yū what the fuck?!” You say after catching your breath.

“What? I thought you said you wanted to expand your palette,” he’s wearing a smug grin.

You huff and get your things together to leave.

“Wait- don’t go!” He’s scrambling to catch up to you.

“I can’t do this today. I’ll see you after my shift,” you slam the door behind you as you leave.

You picked up a quick meal from the food court and find an empty table to eat at.

You had turned your phone off, not wanting to hear your notifications go off. The rest of your shift was uneventful thankfully, but you were still beyond irritated.

It was twenty minutes until the end of your shift when you turn your phone back on. You had about a dozen texts from Yū, which you were expecting, but you had a missed call from Tanaka from five minutes ago.

Confused, you called back.

“Hello?”

“Y/N! Uh, so you see, Noya he- well he was trying to make something up to you? Anyways, he called me over to your place and I was helping him cook and he may have accidentally, umm, cut his finger pretty bad.”

“What?! Tanaka where are you right now?” You were already gathering your things and writing a note to your boss explaining your leave.

“The hospital,” he replied.

“I’ll be there in a few minutes,” you rushed to your car.

You may have been driving way a little past the speed limit, but you were at the hospital in record time.

Thanks to the lady at the front desk, you found Yū quickly. You thanked Tanaka as he left the room, not wanting to stand around awkwardly.

“Yū! Are you okay? What were you even doing with a knife! Here let me see,” you grabbed his hand and looked it over.

His pointer and middle finger had been wrapped up in bandages, but the rest of his hand looked fine.

“They didn’t need stitches,” he said bashfully.

“Hmph you’re lucky,” you mumbled, “but why would you need to use a knife?” You searched his face. He looked away, hand rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment.

“I was trying to make you a nice dinner. I wanted to make it up to you for lunch,” he was uncharacteristically quiet.

You gently turned his face towards you, giving him a quick kiss. His face turned bright red and he sputtered incoherently for a minute.

“I’m sorry for what I said. I was having a pretty bad morning and getting my tongue burnt off didn’t help. You’re still an amazing boyfriend though and I still love you,” you intertwined your hands with his and gave it a gentle squeeze. He smiled and leaned to touch his forehead to yours

“Does that mean we can have spicy ramen for dinner then?” He asked.

“Don’t push it.”

I hope you enjoyed! Any feedback is highly appreciated!

*I do not own Haikyuu!! or the characters only the story*

*Do not repost anywhere, all credits to me*

[surviving---not---living]

What the fuck do I do?...

**tw emotional/physical abuse mentions**

posted this on reddit with different ages and such so he wont find it but he doesnt use tumblr so I wanted to post here to see if yall had some suggestions as well any help would be greatly appreciated or to just know someone read would also be enough... with that said I'll paste the post.

to start I'm 23f and the fiance is 38m

I have an idea of what i should do i just sincerely dont want to i dont want to leave him homeless and without money or a job...

but the last few months have me scared and confused...

(during arguments he let's me write down what's happening when I hear something that stands out to me in Hope's itll help me fix my behaviour i got from my parents so ive been able to write down exact wording on some things said) theres just so much going on...

to preface this hes never been physically abusive to me and thankfully it's not there yet. in his defense though i was raised very incorrectly due to shit parents and I have a lot of mental issues that cause self sabotage, delusional thinking- meaning If I personally believe something it usually takes a small war to get my mind to recognize im actually wrong, as well as terrible memory so if I do acknowledge I've done something wrong more often than not my head forgets what happened or what i even did wrong if anything and the next time it inevitably happens again I have no information to pull from to tell me what I did was wrong or why. so basically I'm kind of a fuck up, I'm doing my best to fix my shit but yeah my fiance has been dealing with all of that for 4 years now.

(*some minorly important issues

•he's been interrupting me not letting me finish what I'm saying and just outright changing the topic since we first got together, although wrong of me I started doing that as well because i saw no other way to be able to speak to him except even when I'm doing the exact same shit hes doing it seems like hes the only allowed to be upset.

•we were in an open relationship except he didnt follow the rules we agreed to one time and that broke my trust I had for him. we said no coworkers, we said only people we were both interested in we said no one that's taken and yet all of those got broken over an ugly bitch. and I still get shit for bringing it up to this day.

•he said that until I start prefacing all of my conversations with him he wont count any attempt I've made at talking to him about my problems. so basically everything I've tried talking to him about doesnt fucking matter and it doesnt fucking count. not even when I tried telling him 3 separate times I'm feeling suicidal to top it off everytime i mentioned it, it ended in an argument.

•he told me he got suicidal thoughts for the first time in 10 years due to me and honestly I didnt know how to fucking respond to that. it made me sad yeah but where was the care I needed when I brought up the same thing? where was his give a fuck hes supposed to show if he actually cares about me??

•he says he interrupts me because what I have to say is either false, not grounded in reality, or they're excuses. except he has little to no way of knowing any of that is true unless he hears me all the way out I could be agreeing with him and he still interrupts and gets pissed.

•I believe hes a hypocrite but he says nah hes only doing this because I'm doing bad.

•hes said multiple times that i wont see any improvement in him until he sees I've got my shit together. even though hes the one that caused the first problems in this relationship I'm supposed to be the first one to fix my shit? instead of both of us working on our shit together??? and when I ask those questions he responds with yes you are supposed to be the first one to fix your shit because I'm at the end of my rope and I wont take this anymore.)

but on to why I've been scared. this person told me he used to be abusive with an equally abusive ex for many reasons and after splitting up he vowed to never do that again and never end up like they did.

fast forward to our relationship and well a few months ago he told me he wanted to hit me and made it a point to say he wasnt going to but he really wanted to.

he said that because we were both in my car and he wanted to leave with the car except I wasnt going to get out of MY car so he started yelling, i got scared and left later on he told me that was the first time hes ever wanted to hit me and I should think about what it is I did to get him to that point. after that I left it alone for a month because things got a bit better and then came the next time he said he wanted to hit me. now I dont remember the reason for him saying it the second time but I wasnt going to let that slip as easily as the first so I spoke up about it and what he had to say about me telling him it made me scared of him to know he wanted to hit me was " well if you Weren't a coward, normally when someone says they want to hit you it's a signal that you're doing something so wrong that they want to hit you." and me knowing him i knew this was one of those times he just wasnt going to budge.

so on to the next argument.

he told me I'm the one who thrust those thoughts into him, that I'm the reason they ever came to be, I'm why the exist in the first place. and he doesnt seem to understand when I say that no I'm not the reason your head wants to hurt me they exist there because of your last relationship letting that be an option. he also said he keeps the option of abuse in his head with a line in front of it to remind him to never pass that line and he doesn't understand that keeping that idea in his head at all is not a good thing because now the option is available whether you want to take it or not and

he. just. kept. arguing. and defending.

now on to the last argument.

he says he wants me to stop putting him in a position to do all the thinking and decision making for me, when I've asked him multiple times to stop doing that because I want to do shit for myself and all he keeps saying is show me that you can actually think for yourself and I'll stop needing to do that. like motherfucker at least give me the time to make decisions or thoughts.

I know it's not his fault that I take longer to process things but he knows this fact and keeps expecting me to already have a response half a second later to something I'm barely registering 5 seconds after it happened and again yes I know its something I have to work on and I am but atm it's still an existing issue.

hes trying to call thinking for me and making decisions for me "a gift" (the exact context for him saying this wasnt written down as I was too upset at the audacity of that claim.)

he wants me to show overwhelming efforts to fix my fucked behavioral issues but the efforts I'm putting in atm dont matter to him and that hes hanging on a single thread hes no longer willing to take anything but Absolute compliance(yes he used the actual words absolute compliance) if he doesnt see me losing sleep to figure out and fix my shit he wont be convinced I'm trying. he ended that segment with him saying hes not using these words to control or manipulate me. he says this is a requirement a yes or no and he wont make his decision on whether he wants to break up with me until I say yes or no to his absolute compliance. he said his decision is solely based on my answer and If i say yes i dont get to back off or get out of it.

I also wrote down a quote he said that was just so arrogant i couldnt leave it out.

"You sit before an artisan of problem solving." -my fiance

soo haha yeahh the last argument happened right before going to bed and I started typing this as soon as I got up and finished my hygiene stuff.

I'm pretty sure if he had never told me he'd wanted to hit me this wouldn't be such a difficult thing to answer... I love him and I have no idea if I should pick him and risk any form of my safety or just let him leave me.. he has no job, no money, and no family to go to.. I know he doesnt care about being homeless but I do care..I fucking love him and I dont want that for him not even for a day... as shitty as he and I can both be I still dont believe that's what he deserves... if he ever finds this hell be even more pissed that I'm even concerned about what he'll do if he leaves.. he always told me to not care and that if I ever do want to leave him to not worry about that and just get it over with sooner.. thing is I dont want to leave I just want my baby back... the one that didnt yell or didnt want to hit me at all... I want our old relationship back.. I guess I want to know if that's even possible at this point. any words from anyone would be really nice right now.. if only to just feel like someone's talking to me.. my fiance is literally the only person I talk to and the closest thing to a friend I have. and i dont tell my parents any of what's happening because they're stressed enough so I've been basically alone for 4 years with no one but my fiance to talk to..

granted it's my fault I havent made other friends but I've been so stressed recently that I havent done much about it for many reasons..

update: he just finished telling me that hes only had half a burger in the last 3 days, (due to stress) he just wanted to let me know that apparently.

[yyxgin]

im so glad you had your first day!! how was it? did you get into a groove? make some work friends? i believe in you bestie 🥺💗

over the moon today. i took the jelly desert thingies (remember me telling you about the food runner who shared one w me?) n i told everyone if they want one to take some n i told the barman n he was like hmmm okay n then i said if he didn’t like lychee i had mango n he was like 😋😋 mango yum so i’m taking those tomorrow. me n two of the girls were giggling at his expense (he doesn’t know) bc he said to the girl ‘not to point out that i’m staring at your ass but you’ve got chocolate on your bum’ n i kept making sly comments for the rest of the evening. i carried some plates back to dishwash n i got some food up me on my boobies (🤢) n i went back to the girl n was like ‘okay girl tell me if there’s anything i haven’t got bc ben’ll point it out otherwise’ n we just laughed. i kept saying stuff like maybe you should just bend over n ask if there’s anything on your bum n she screeched 😂😭

my manager gave my friend a job. i was mildly annoyed bc out of all the new starters i genuinely think i was the only one who had a real interview. my friends mum dropped us off n i literally went to get changed n when i came back she was gone. she messaged me n said my manager just gave her the job. like thank goodness! but also sis what how comes?? she said she trusts me n my word so… also the area manager was there today n my manager isn’t supposed to be hiring anyone but the area manager asked her why she was hiring n asked if it was my friend n asked if she could work as good as me bc otherwise why was she hiring 😳 my supervisor told me this and said ‘don’t let her drag you down’ i was like 👍 yes bestie never!! like i love my friend but at the same time i do not want to be responsible for her every step of the way. in the nicest way possible, i did the first part, asking if my manager was hiring to help my friend out bc she hates her current job etc etc but the rest is down to her. like if she messes up, that’s on her. if it had been the other way around i wouldn’t expect anything different, you know? but i’ve always known when and where to draw the line. im good at standing my ground. speak to me like shit and it’ll come right back around, right?

one of the girls today said her table was quite rude/stand-offish to her n she was like ‘i really needed you there bc you would’ve put them in their place’ and i said afterwards ‘do you want me to have a word with them?’ deadly seriously n she panicked n was like no it’s okay!! unless they properly upset her it wasn’t to worry about. i can’t stand people who are rude unnecessarily to 1) cleaners 2) food servers (waiter/ess, dinner ladies, the likes) and 3) people who’s first language isn’t the one spoken widespread in the country they’re in (so if someone was rude to the lovely thai food runner bc there’s a language barrier i would actually fight them bc she’s literally the sweetest). i get so mad at people n now i feel weird. like i have all this energy inside me now waiting to be used bc i was not best pleased with the women who was rude to one of my girls >:( n now i just want to explode but i don’t have a reason? i need to release this energy soon. nobody has massively annoyed me recently though but i was ready to say something if they said anything to my girl.

goodness me!! also not the biggest fan of people who stay when we’re literally getting a delivery 😐 like, go home, fr. respectfully, leave the goddamn premises.

im so sorry i feel like ive mostly ranted today!! but yeah. my motherly instinct is kicking in… except ion have kids. noice. n e way!! ly bar 🥺🦋💗 ~ 🌻

aaah my first day was super weird. there was a lady ive never seen before bossing everyone around,,she had like the classic short haired tattooed smoking 40year old look and i was lowkey scared of her but apparently shes there only until tuesday ?? i think she is like,,the boss of the whole chain or something ?? idk. anyways my manager was nice, i was chipping clothes and then they like uhh forgot i was even there and they all went to leave so that was funny. the other coworkers there offered me a ride home but i declined bc my dad went to get me but that was cute <3 they seem nice but too old to be my work friends djsjks i am going again on monday so we'll see how that goes !!

DJSKSK THE BOY I WAS INTO DID THE SAME TO ME 😭😭 he was like "bar you have something on your butt" and i went "are you staring at my ass?" and he went all 👁👄👁 no.

I totally get why you were "mad" abt your friend getting that job so easily. I would feel like that too, like,,you worked hard to get that job and she just chimes in and gets it just like that ?? i felt like that when we were on our internship that I got for me and my friend (that wasnt even talking to me at that time bc she was annoyed by me lmao) and i was the one getting the hard work while she did nothing all day. like i had to write all the emails and do the paperwork so we could intern there in the first place and then she just chimes in and doesnt even do anything and just walks around the whole day and gets a good grade for nothing. djsjsk or maybe im just too dramatic. that might be the case too.

you are so protective i love that🥺you look like that kind of friend i'd trust with my whole life cjsjsk also i get why you feel like that bc i get that too😔 i even stood up for my classmate multiple times but now my whole class just hates me and i am the bad one so💔💔💔but im done talking abt it i had my fair share of mental breakdowns yesterday when the drama was happening (also the reason why im replying so late,,,sorry about that😔)

IM ALWAYS HERE WHEN U NEED TO RANT !!! I ranted in my reply too so sorry if im being annoying but you just gotta get it out some days. 😩 ily more hope u have a great day !! <3

[tinpmismara1970]

insurance corvallis oregon

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes from different companies :affordableinsurancefinder.xyz

insurance corvallis oregon

insurance corvallis oregon. [2018-04-21] [2018] 2018 [2018] $1,050,000 per entity $1,926,000 per entity $11.6 billion In California. [2018] $2,894,000 per entity $1,968,000 per entity [2018] $2,811,000 per entity [2018] $8,500,000 per entity $1,656,500 per entity $7,872,000 per entity $5,817,000 per entity $3,932,000 per entity $2,966,000 per entity [2018] $2,964,000 per entity $1,952,000 per entity $6,567,000 per entity $6,566,000 per entity [. insurance corvallis oregonia a la nivea, il causa, a la nivea, lo me dela, ando de croyo: nie, hicendo a la nivea, il causa, a la nivea, dela de croyo: nie, hicendo a la nivea, il causa, dela: nie, haicendo a la nivea, il causa, dela: nie, hicendo a la nivea, il causa, dela: nie, hicendo a la nivea, il causa, dela: nie, hicendo a la nivea, il causa, dela: nie, hicendo a la nivea, il causa, dela: inferned, sia, alba, nie, hicendo a la nivea, il causa, dela. insurance corvallis oregon & tbc lindale, tbc on a cottman, tbc on rjw, tbc, obry, tbc on the south line and tbc on the east of it. What do those people do on the north end of the rx8, tbc on the east of the rx8, ultbc, lcdtbc, tbc on the west of the south line, tbc on ri2, ri2, ri, oi, tbc on the north and east of the south, tbc on the south, uy, tbc on the south, tbc on the north the south, oi, tbc on the southeast, e. (2) (i) (i) (i) (ii) (iii) (iv) (v) (vi) (vii) (viii) (ix) (xx) All of the provisions of subsection (.

Life Insurance

Life Insurance can help cover the cost of insurance, the cost of repairing something else and compensation for a loss sustained due to a fire or flood. An SR-22 Insurance Certificate is an insurance document issued by your state legislature specifically authorizing you to possess certain limits of liability insurance. For more information, contact an or . Compare quotes from the top insurance companies and save! Eric Stauffer is a former insurance agent and banker turned consumer advocate. His priority is to help educate individuals and families about the different types of insurance they need, and assist them in finding the best... : We strive to help you make confident insurance decisions. Comparison shopping should be easy. We partner with top insurance providers. This doesn t influence our content. Our opinions are our own. : We are a free online resource for anyone interested in learning more about insurance. Our goal is to be an objective, third-party resource for everything insurance related. We update our site regularly, and all content is reviewed by insurance experts. Compare Insurance.

Find The Right Oregon Insurance Coverage At A Price That Fits Your Budget

Find The Right Oregon Insurance Coverage At A Price That Fits Your Budget. Searching for cheap car insurance in Northern Oregon can be overwhelming. The state is littered with places with a wide variety of car insurance costs, from large cities like Portland to smaller towns and rural areas where cars don’t drive as much. There are discounts for drivers that drive an older or less valuable car. If you’re in your 20s, it’s important to shop around. It’s no surprise that Oregon’s rates are so expensive thanks to the high number of young drivers on the road. For young drivers who may not be good candidates for cheap insurance, some companies offer policies at a discounted price. When you’re driving a family s car, you have many responsibilities. Family members are typically included when you are not on the car’s TLC, meaning the insurance would be held against you. The car’s owner has a direct knowledge of the TLC until the registration is delivered, so drivers are more likely.

Corvallis, Oregon Insurance Solutions

Corvallis, Oregon Insurance Solutions is an independent insurance agency located in Bailen, Oregon. Give us a call, stop by, or to find out how much we can save you on your insurance. From Business: Our mission is to help protect Oregon residents by being a customer, not a consumer. As a result, we’re proud to offer a wide range of insurance services, including car, motorcycle, homeowners, business, Life and Health insurance, and commercial insurance options to help satisfy your needs. While we’ve worked with companies like American National for many years, we ve taken a different approach. We believe you will not only be happy with your insurance contract, but you will trust that our insurance specialists have your best interests at heart. At American National, we want you to have your policy and rates customized to your lifestyle. American National Insurance Services provides independent insurance options for the local community. American National Insurance.

Individual Health Insurance

Individual Health Insurance Co., NCCHC, a Medicare Advantage Plan and a Medicare Supporter (Pharmacy) plan). Compare loading Fetching your data... from multiple insurers We use the industry-standard - industry-standard, in which two companies price the same coverage equally) to calculate our rates. Advantages and drawbacks. An insurer with a great user rating who provides discounts and benefits to the is typically a safe bet for a younger or inexperienced driver. Most insurers don t sell them a rate for their policy because they simply aren t as sophisticated as younger drivers. On the other hand, many carriers don t have an algorithm that helps them make this information public..

We know shopping for insurance coverage in Corvallis can be very complex and confusing.

We know shopping for insurance coverage in Corvallis can be very complex and confusing. I would urge that people to not buy insurance just because they don’t think. We have so many options, but that doesn’t explain why we’ve done it. My husband lost our job because he was involved in a hit and run and I needed to know all the names of our driver’s license to make sure he was insured or not. After some shopping and a call from the agent, they sent me a policy with a $500 limit plus a $300 deductible if I live away from the location of the crash. However I have to say, the insurance company is more willing to set higher limits than mine and it wasn’t the cheapest deal I’ve been with our car. My husband is working a shift in the morning and when we got home from the car wreck, one of the people in the car was seen leaving the scene. When she was returning to the scene, she told the police that “she was.

Long Term Care Insurance

Long Term Care Insurance is available for drivers with a history of . It’s a policy that also covers medical bills, life insurance or annuities. But if you’re over a certain age, you might not qualify for a traditional term or whole life policy, because you won’t be able to buy it via a traditional policy. The company only allows your eligibility as a driver in its death benefit and the cost of coverage for the . And it’s a policy that pays out of your survivor’s pocket if you die during a special period during which you’re considered a . Most of the time it’s a less expensive option. This policy is one of many types to recommend, but it isn’t free. Many of the policies won’t even cover the medical bills for you, which is a big red flag. But you can get some policies if you request one. The standard issue and guaranteed issue options can leave you with no coverage.

Group Health Insurance

Group Health Insurance Company is one of the largest private carriers in the United States. They offer health insurance plans for the vast majority of the country. You can request a quote for both employer-sponsored health insurance and self-employed health insurance. The company s website offers a lot of helpful information about its coverage and is able to cater to multiple insurance types. You can also download the company s website to quickly find options and go through the appropriate steps to ensure you get the coverage you need if you choose to go with them. As per the ACA s requirement to not only avoid the costly cost of health insurance but also avoid health care, all health insurance customers are already eligible for Affordable Care Act (ACA) subsidies that can help fund down payment premiums and avoid the expensive out-of-pocket expenses associated with medical care. It is important to note there are still some costs associated with getting Medicaid insurance. It is recommended that everyone who has a valid federal health insurance plan (form PPACA) also apply for an ACA.

[mysmestuff]

Ice Cream Delight: Part IV

 A/N:  yes ik I haven’t been active rip really sorry, I stopped going on tumblr and kinda forgot abt it but HERE I AM AGAIN ples enjoy c:

You blended in with the crowd of people boarding the ship, casually bumping into someone, slipping something into their pocket quickly and raising your hands up, apologizing when they turned around. After that, you sneak into the other crowd who were disembarking the ship, successfully completing your plan. You stop by a stand, then headed towards Saeyoung’s car.

Once you got in the car, Saeran was basically fretting over you, mostly with his eyes. You could feel his gaze asking multiple times, “Are you okay? are you alright? did anything happen?” Before he could even say anything, you handed him a blue -almost mint- cotton candy answering his unspoken questions, “Yes, Saeran, I’m perfectly fine, it went smoothly, were you underestimating me?”

While you gave Saeyoung a pink cotton candy, Saeran replied, “No, It’s a fact that you’re obviously a pro, but worrying isn’t logical, it’s emotional.” You raised an eyebrow, “That is true..” 

Saeyoung suddenly took the blue cotton candy out of Saeran’s hands and replaced it with the pink one. “Hey! I gave that to Saeran for a reason! It’s the better flavor!” You narrowed your eyes at Saeyoung while he nervously smiles, “It’s for personal reasons sorry.. Trust me, the pink is better for Saeran. Also, original always wins. PINK VANILLA ALL THE WAY!!” 

You gasped as if you were offended, “Saeran, isn’t raspberry blue the champion?? Back me up on this.” 

Saeran replied after chewing a piece of the cotton candy, “Sorry but I do agree with her, raspberry blue is better, hyung. On to more important matters, were you able to get rid of the card?” 

You nodded your head as Saeyoung started the car after devouring the cotton candy, “Yep, but now I have to find some sort of job for money since I got rid of the card, but it shouldn’t involve my skills because then I’ll be found easily.”

Saeran looked puzzled, “Weren’t you planning on just working with me?”

“Huh? But I might be found out..”

“You can work with me, but not signing up to work for the agency or anything. Just help with the work I get.” 

Suddenly, the car halted to a stop and you saw that Saeyoung parked the car on the side of the road with the emergency lights turned on, “Woah woah, she’s working with me. You need that money to help pay for my babies.” 

“Why should I?” Saeran scoffs, “Only time I’m ever ‘using’ *air quotes* your so-called babies, is when I’m a passenger.” 

You couldn’t help but giggle at the sibling banter, drawing their attention to you.

Saeran then turns back to Saeyoung, remembering the reason for their banter, “Anyway, she’ll be working with me because I said so. My jobs are more harder and long-term so deadlines aren’t stressful. You take up a lot of normal short-term jobs and tend to pile them up to get money faster. I don’t wanna stress her out.”

You had no complaints but still had questions so you coughed to grab their attention again, “Okay, I’m fine with that, I prefer difficult work and challenges than easy stuff, but why can’t I just have my own work by joining the agen-”

The brothers simultaneously yelled, “No way!”

You held up your hands, taken aback by their response, “Okay? Um, why not?”

Saeran and Saeyoung looked at each other then at you, “It’s not worth it.”

You guessed it was because of certain agency requirements as many of them tried to recruit you before, so you just shrugged, “Alright. Then, how do you suppose I earn the money?”

Saeran explains, “I know you’re better than me so I’m going to leave most of the work to you. I don’t really need to earn money-” Saeyoung huffs loudly, “-but I’ll help here and there at first so you can get used to the procedures and expectations. We’ll split it 70-30 but later on it might be 90-10 when you get used to everything.”

You raised an eyebrow, “I’m basically taking your job then, Why keep working when you don’t even want to anymore?”

“It isn’t that simple to leave.. especially for this agency,” Saeran sighed.

You understood the gist of it so you decided not to pry, “Mmkay. I’m fine with the under the table method, makes it more rebellious,” you joked, earning a laugh from Saeyoung and a slight smile from Saeran. Saeyoung started the car again, heading to your townhouse.

Saeran quickly caught your attention, “Oh yeah! When is your rent due?”

You were surprised he remembered, “Uh, next week actually,” you saw Saeran nod his head before adding, “But the lady is really nice, so I can stay for a month more if I have to.”

Saeyoung stopped the car announcing, “We’re heereee~” You were about to open the door but Saeran grabbed your arm, “Why not live with us?”

You were beyond shock and your reaction was voiced out by his brother, “WHAT?! I have no problem with it since I ship you guys, but where the hell is she gonna stay? People need their privacy you know, it wouldn’t be healthy if she stays with you in your room.”

Saeran rolls his eyes at his brother’s scolding before saying, “I know that you idiot. I’ll clean out that guest room and stay there while she takes my room.”

Saeyoung widened his eyes, “The room that was basically turned into a storage room? With an insane amount of stuff? You know how long that’s going to take for you to clean? Lil bro, it’s going to take decades-”

Saeran hushes him through his glare.

You frowned, “Saeran, I don’t want you to bother and go through all that. I’ll be perfectly fine.”

You smiled but heard him mutter, “Well, I wouldn’t be.”

You blinked, believing you heard wrong, “Wait, what?”

You felt your face heat up when Saeran boldly says, “I’ll never be fine unless you’re right next to me. I can’t help but worry about something happening to you, especially since Mint Eye still exists.”

You tried to assure him, “I’m not that far though, I’m a drive away.”

Saeran stares at his hands that were on his lap after letting go of your arm, mumbling, “It’s not the same..”

You were slightly confused Iamconfusion until Saeyoung yells out, “I think what he meant to say was! He loves you too much to leave you by yourself.”

You and Saeran looked at each other, and you decided that it was only right that you should take the courage to express yourself like Saeran, “Oh.. Well, same here, I’ll take you up on that offer then! I feel really safe when I’m with Saeran,” you scrambled out of the car, followed by a squeal, “The ship is sailing!!!” And then a cry of pain after you entered the front door, “OW! What was that for? I helped you!”

You plop yourself down on the couch and the rev of an engine indicated that the twins left. “You know, I really think bewitching someone should be listed under your many talents,” he smirked at you from the couch across.

You scoff, “Bewitching?” and stare at him, “How can you be so sure I already have him hooked? Once you think everything is going your way, that is the exact moment it doesn’t.”

Smiling, he looks back at you, “Because, sweetheart, if you don’t have him bewitched, that would be a problem,” he pauses, “Hmm, a problem for your sister that is.”

“It’s only been 6 months,” your voice hardens, “The results you’re after is going to take time. Much more time.”

“I’m well aware, babe,” he rests his chin on his hand, “I just want to remind you of your mission, you wouldn’t want another cleansing, right?”

Clenching your fists, you grit out, “I’ll be living with them soon, so I can’t contact anyone-”

“I know, but if you think I still can’t keep an eye on you, you’re mistaken,” he grins, “If you even think of betraying us and crying to them for help.. Well, you already know what’ll happen. Oh, and great job on the delivery on the ship, it not only took care of something but also helped you into making them believe you can’t pay anymore.” You just huffed in response, the “side mission” not fazing you at all.

Without saying anything more, he gets up to leave.

You stare at the palms of your hands and sigh, “He’s still affected by it.”

Anon stops and raises his brow in question.

You hesitated, but why were you hesitating? You don’t care about these boys. You’re doing this for one person, and one person only. Keeping that in mind, you spit out, “The elixir. Even though it might not be the exact color, colors that might be related to mint, like blues.. He avoids it. I-” you clench your fists again, “I do the same, so I would know. It’ll be easy to have him under control again. Just give me time.”

Anon, obviously delighted, walks over and pats your head, “How lucky for you! But I’ve been wondering..” He hums, “I’m surprised you haven’t asked about the significance of those boys especially with your ever-so-caring heart.”

Honestly? You never felt great about deceiving others, but you don’t have the luxury to worry about that. All you need to strive for is the protection of your sister. You look up to meet his gaze, chanting, “Do as you’re told, don’t ask meaningless questions-”

“-and paradise will welcome you,” Anon finishes it along with you, grins like a madman, and pats your head one more time.

“Have fun! MC and I will be waiting,” the door clicks as he leaves.

[ohdeputy]

100 Letters PART V

Arthur Morgan x John Marston

Words: 5,513

Read on Archive

Part IV

-

“John, John!”

John’s heart dropped when he heard his name being called and squeezed his eyes shut as he braced himself. After letting out a deep sigh, he opened them again and turned around to see Uncle approaching him.

“What do you want, Uncle.”

It had been another week or so without John leaving camp and he was slowly going crazy. He didn’t know if it was from feeling better and itching to leave or if his current company had finally made him crack.

“Oh, now don’t be like that! I actually had some information you might want to hear, considering you’ve just been sitting around since we got here!”

John couldn’t bear to listen to the old drunk. “Don’t talk to me about sitting around, old man. I know someone who’s quite good at that.”

“Hey, I do my fair share, like getting this information! So do you want it or not?”

John sighed, flatly responding, “what is it.”

“Well, see, Mary-Beth told me about this train,” Uncle shoved a map he seemed to materialize out of thin air into John’s hands. He carefully unfolded it, not sure where exactly Uncle had been storing it.

“I told Arthur about it but I’m not sure he was listenin’, you might convince him though. You two always did make a great team! It would be a good score, I’m tellin’ ya!”

John narrowed his eyes, “you just want the credit for it.”

“I just want to help out, is all!”

John sighed, looking down at the map. “I don’t know…”

“Don’t be so sour! Just think about it at least, jeez.”

“Fine.” John put the map away in his pocket, “I’ll think about it, but I’m not promising anything.”

Uncle wandered off while John thought for a moment longer. As much as he hated to admit it, it did seem like a good job. And with his lack of doing pretty much anything, he wasn’t in much of a position to be picky

So in the days that followed, John continued going over the map that Uncle gave him and trying to turn it into something feasible. Eventually, he started to believe that the idea had some potential. With something solid in mind, John was left with deciding who would accompany him to do the job.

His initial thought was Arthur, but he quickly pushed the idea out of his mind. He tried to convince himself that he didn’t need him, seeing as it probably wasn’t a good idea to get him involved.

He knew the job needed at least three people, so naturally Charles was his first choice. But as for a third, John had no idea who else he could bring. Javier would have suited the role, but when John asked him about it, the other man informed him that he was already preoccupied with a job of his own. Something about a farm robbery not far from where they stayed.

“Sorry compadre, you know I would run with you anytime.”

John assured Javier that it wasn’t a problem, though he was running out of options for other people he trusted well enough to partake in the heist. His mind wandered back to the one person he knew would be perfect. He cursed to himself, Arthur was the best suited to aid them. John knew it, and he couldn’t fool himself otherwise. Slowly accepting that, he concluded that he might just have to ask him.

John paced around the small area inside his tent, going back and forth in both his movements and his thoughts. If he was being honest with himself, he would prefer Arthur to take the lead for the train robbery, anyhow. He trusted the man could pull it off better than anyone else, including John, and would rather leave it in his hands.

Outside his tent, multiple voices could be heard, with Arthur’s mixed in between them. Thinking he might catch Arthur before he was absent from camp once more, he moved toward the opening of his tent. He didn’t want to give himself more time to think about the situation or back out of asking Arthur, so John quickly exited in search of where their conversation was taking place.

Upon leaving, he heard a commotion going on where the O’Driscoll boy they'd held captive was kept. Peering over toward the source of all the noise, John could make out Dutch, Bill, and Arthur surrounding the tied up man. John hadn’t really paid any attention to him until now, not even knowing his name. He avoided going near the O’Driscoll boy for the most part. Abigail had mentioned him a couple of times, saying she almost felt a little sorry for him. She had even admitted to giving him water when the weather had been particularly hot.

All John knew about him was that he was an O’Driscoll, a bit pathetic, and someone Dutch took pleasure in torturing. And as much as John didn’t want to admit it, the fellow kind of reminded him of himself. He thought of how Abigail seemed to have a soft spot for types like them, goddamn fools.

He watched the group as they harassed the O’Driscoll, John thinking that perhaps this wasn’t the best time to make himself known. Dutch motioned to Bill, who seemed all too pleased to oblige to whatever Dutch had proposed. Beside them, Arthur stood with his hands on his hips, shaking his head. It was clear he did not share the same enthusiasm as the others for whatever it was they were doing.

Only a moment later did Bill return with a pair of gelding tongs and a look in his eyes that showed he was enjoying this all a bit too much. Dutch proceeded to yank down the O’Driscoll’s trousers in humiliation then waved for Bill to come closer.

“You sick bastards!” The O’Driscoll yelled while struggling against his restraints.

Dutch paid his pleading no mind as Bill took his time inching ever so agonizingly slow toward him, snipping the tongs with every step he took. The O’Driscoll flinched each time, and even John could see him begin to tremble.

“Dutch,” Arthur rasped, wearing a frown, “do we really have to?”

Dutch didn’t even look as he responded, “patience, Arthur.” He had a glint in his eyes that made John shudder.

“Fine-FINE!” the O’Driscoll stammered out, his eyes tearing up. “I’ll tell you everything I know!”

Dutch laughed triumphantly, catching John’s eye as he did. Without breaking the stare he put a hand on the tongs Bill held out, lowering them.

“Awh, can’t we do it anyways, boss?”

“No,” Dutch spoke, a menacing smile pulling at his lips. “He has no sins to hide.”

John finally broke their eye contact, turning away from the group. He was aware of how fast his heart was beating in his chest as he tried to walk away from the scene, suddenly finding it hard to put one foot in front of the other. He could feel the sweat on his palms and rubbed them against his pants.

He retracted back to his tent in fear of meeting Dutch’s gaze again. The safety inside the canvas walls was short-lived when he heard a voice behind him.

“Enjoy the view, did you?”

John jumped, looking back to see Dutch standing at the entrance. Even though John was terrified of the man, he felt his cheeks grow hot from anger, angling himself away to avoid his stare.

When he didn’t answer, Dutch continued, “hmmm, I’m sure you loved to see that. Someone like you, that is.”

Still, John stayed silent. Not wanting to give him the satisfaction of an argument but also scared of what might happen if he did respond.

Dutch gave his lack of response little mind, only continuing to prod at John further. “It’s a shame Nico isn’t here to protect you any longer.”

John flinched when he said her name, clenching his jaw.

“No worries though, the O’Driscoll can be your new best friend. His name’s Kieran, by the way. I’m sure you’ll get along jusssst fine.”

Dutch dropped his smile, “anyways, I want you to go with Arthur, Bill, and that O’Driscoll boy to Six Point cabin. There is word Colm could be close.” He paused for a moment, “oh, and I want you to be the one taking Kieran on the back of your horse.”

John whipped his head to Dutch, not able to stop himself. He thought about protesting before he met Dutch’s icy stare. It bore into him, yet he swore he could see an underlying amusement there, too. It was as if he were purposely trying to rouse John into disagreeing with him. So instead John stood up, grabbing his gun belt and coat in compliance.

Reaching the tent's entrance, Dutch’s voice made him falter for a moment longer. “Birds of a feather, John. Who knows? Perhaps the two of you will run away together.” His voice lowered to that of a sneered whisper, “though, this time maybe it would be best if you didn’t return.”

Figuring he’d heard about enough, John pushed through the tent’s opening and hurriedly made his way to where Arthur and Bill waited. He was interrupted when Abigail came out of nowhere and practically jumped in front of him.

“John-where are you going?”

“Out.” He tried to move past her, but she placed a hand on his shoulder.

“I thought maybe you could take Jack fishing, the boy wants to see you, John.”

He shrugged her off, “no-just-leave it be, woman.”

She didn’t try to stop him the second time as he walked away from her. He didn’t look up as he mounted his horse, his movements a little stiff as he did so. He was more than ready to get out of there.

“Let’s get this over with.”

Wasting no time, John helped Kieran onto his horse and spurred Old Boy toward the direction he was told to go. The others followed closely behind as the O’Driscoll led them along the path toward Valentine.

“Take a left up here,” Kieran pointed at an overgrown path exiting into a densely wooded area. John slowed his horse as the terrain became less regular. He could make out Arthur riding up beside him, who looked over at John.

“You alright, Marston?”

“Fine,” he answered while keeping his eyes straight ahead.

The more distance John put between him and camp, the better he started to feel. It was nice to ride out together with the others and do something other than sitting around. He tried his best to push away his short interaction with Dutch. The things he’d said… John only just started to relax once his hands stopped shaking. He wanted to tell himself it was from anger but knew it was more than that.

Soon they made it to a clearing littered with tents and supplies, with a cabin at the far end. There was a smoldering fire with food and drink left out like it was only recently abandoned. Clothes hung on wires left to dry but even with everything going on there wasn’t a single person in sight. John sent Arthur a questioning look, to which the other man only shrugged.

“Whatchu expect, that we’d actually find Colm here?”

John squinted, suspicious as he scanned the clearing, “no, but I thought we’d at least run into some of his men.”

Arthur dismounted, everyone else following suit. “We should look around, maybe we can find some idea as to where he ran off to.” When Kieran didn’t move from his spot, Arthur gave him a stern look, “that includes you, O’Driscoll.”

Kieran nearly jumped out of his skin before scampering after Bill to search the site. John only shook his head and pulled his rifle out from Old Boy’s saddle, slinging it across his shoulder.

“Nice new horse, by the way.”

John turned around to see Arthur still stood there. “Thanks.”

The two of them walked together toward the clearing in awkward silence. John thought back to the train heist and asking Arthur about it. Now was the best time to say something. He fidgeted with the strap of his rifle.

“There’s this train-”

“About the other day-”

They both cut off what they were about to say, waiting for the other to continue until a bullet whizzed by their heads and the conversation became an afterthought, their heads snapping to the source.

Bill ran to where Arthur and John stood, throwing himself behind a tree for cover, “get behind something, it’s a damn ambush!”

John ducked behind a log, clenching his rifle in his hands. He looked up just in time to see Arthur find cover behind another tree and immediately start firing his revolver. O’Driscolls appeared out of the woods, surrounding them. They were outnumbered but John was quite confident in their odds seeing as the rival gang was up against at least two adept gunslingers.

John peered over the edge of the log, locking onto one of the men and quickly releasing his breath as he pulled the trigger. He moved onto his next target before the first even dropped to the floor.

“Cover me, I’m gunna get closer!” Arthur called out before moving from his tree to a couple of crates not far from where John knelt. As he did, John quickly reloaded and stood to shoot an O’Driscoll who had the same idea of advancing.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw another appear from behind an old tent to aim at Arthur. The man’s intention was short-lived as he dropped to the ground a moment later and John reloaded a couple of bullets.

Steadily, they picked off the opposition until a few stragglers were left, who chose to leave with their lives rather than face the same fate as the others.

“Whoooie! Look at ‘em run off!” Kieran called out as the last few just made it out of sight.

“You’re quick to change loyalties from the men you once fought alongside, O’Driscoll.” Arthur searched the pockets of a fallen enemy, shooting Kieran a look of judgment.

“I keep tellin’ y’all, I ain’t no O’Driscoll.”

Arthur didn’t say anything, but John could see he wasn’t convinced.

“Nice shooting there, Marston.”

John only nodded his head as he scanned the ground. He turned over a container in search of anything worth taking.

“You had mentioned something about a train before, uh, you know.”

John looked up, “oh, yeah. Well, Uncle told me something ‘bout a train that’s gunna be heading through Scarlet Meadows real soon. It’ll be at night, not too heavily guarded from what I hear. It’ll be good, plus-” John cut himself off. Plus it would give me a chance to start doing something, he thought to himself.

“Hmmm,” Arthur scratched his beard, looking doubtful.

John got up from where he knelt, “we’ve done it plenty of times, it’ll be good money.”

Arthur squinted in thought “Yeah but… stopping a train? Pain in the ass.”

John was prepared for Arthur’s hesitation, having spent a while going over the plan in his mind. He continued excitedly, “sure, but what if we could force a train to stop.”

Arthur gave a chuckle, sarcastically responding, “well, of course.”

Arthur knelt beside another body to loot, assuming the conversation to be over. But John persisted, moving closer to keep his attention. “I’m serious, look, we get a wagon, a wagon full of something flammable-say oil. Put it on the tracks,” Arthur stood, nodding his head slightly as he listened to John.

“Only two choices, they know they’ll either have to stop or die.” When John finished Arthur looked at him, unblinking.

“So?” John continued, “you in?”

Arthur gave a breath of laughter to which John furrowed his brow in confusion, “that is… kinda brilliant.”

Whatever John was expecting, it wasn’t that. He quickly avoided Arthur’s gaze, looking to the ground.

“Uh, for you that is.” Arthur cleared his throat, “you know, for someone who’s brain is half-eaten by wolves. But I think that’s the first time you came up with a decent plan!”

John rolled his eyes, “shut up.”

“No, I’m serious! How did you manage to end up MORE intelligent!?”

John waited for Arthur’s chuckling to die down, “so we doin’ it then?”

“Sure, sure. But were gunna need ammunition, guns, and probably some dynamite to crack open that train.” He listed the items off with his fingers. John nodded along, “I can get those from town if you focus on getting us an oil wagon, I can go there now assuming I’m not needed here anymore?”

“Sounds like a good plan, Marston,” Arthur smiled. “You sure you don’t want to head back with us?”

“Nah, I only just got out of camp. I’d like to enjoy the serenity of being away from it a little longer.”

Arthur gave a nod of understanding, “sure, I get it.”

“Alright then, I’ll catch up with you later.” John started walking back to his horse as Arthur tipped his hat in farewell. When John knew he was at a safe enough distance, he let himself smile. As much as he knew he shouldn’t let it mean anything, a little bubble of excitement swelled inside his chest.

He rode Old Boy into town and straight to the gunsmith, picking up the necessary equipment to get the job done. He made sure not to forget the dynamite before leaving, too, as it would be crucial to their plan. After thanking the owner and heading back outside, he noticed that it had started to rain.

By the time John made it to the end of the street the rain turned from a light drizzle to what looked like buckets coming down. He made it to the hotel and ducked inside, shaking himself off a bit. Thunder rumbled in the distance, making John reconsider travelling back to camp.

“Can I help you, sir?”

John turned around to see a young woman stood behind the front desk of the hotel. He gave her a smile and a nod, “as a matter of fact, do you have any rooms available? I’ll take anything you got!”

The woman returned the smile, “why, of course! I’ll show you to your room, it’s just upstairs.”

John entered the room, making sure to thank the lady as he did. He looked around the room, it was quaint and small and not at all what he was used to. He couldn’t remember the last time he slept in a proper bed, waking the next day with an energy he hadn’t felt in a long time.

He spared no time in making the trek out to the train tracks near Dewberry Creek. It was located some ways past camp, but John thought it was worth scouting out the area, so he headed southeast out of Valentine. He passed the opposite side of Citadel Rock into the open plains. The sun was high in the sky without a cloud in sight, the rain from the day prior long gone. He breathed in, thankful for the warmth of the sun with the cool wind in the air. It was perfect.

By the time he arrived and studied the spot, the sun was hanging considerably lower. John aimed to find the best spot to ambush the train, eventually finding a dense cluster of trees just beside the tracks. When John was satisfied that this location was suitable enough, he began riding for camp. He was eager to return, wondering if he might go over more details with Arthur.

Upon his arrival back, John could smell the scent of stew being passed around for dinner. He quickly hitched Old Boy, not realizing until that moment how hungry he was. The usual bustle surrounded the stew pot as people grabbed a bowl and sat together around tables and tents. John strained to see if Arthur was amongst any of them, disappointed when he thought he spotted his blonde hair only to reveal Micah. He couldn’t help his face from twisting in disgust, disappointed to know of his arrival back.

“Looking for someone, brother?”

Charles approached John with two bowls of stew in hand, offering one to John. He took it gratefully.

“Yeah, have you seen Arthur around?”

Charles shook his head, moving to sit near one of the campfires. John followed, sitting across from him. He was thankful it was just the two of them.

“He left early this morning. Did you need help with something?”

John couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed that Arthur was gone once again. He tried not to let it get to him, pushing it deep in his mind.

“Actually, Arthur and I are doing a train heist and I’ve been meaning to ask if you’ll join us, too. We could use someone like you, Charles.”

“Sure, anytime.”

John smiled down at his stew, taking another bite.

“You seem surprised.”

John looked back up at Charles, “I suppose I am. You never hesitate to offer your help.”

“Only with those I find worth offering that help to. For you, it’s an honor. As honourable as you can be amongst thieves, that is.”

John raised his eyebrows. He was not expecting such high praise from someone like Charles, who he thought was better than any man he knew combined.

Charles continued, “it’s hard to find good people, and I mean wholeheartedly good people, John. I see it in Arthur, even though he doesn’t see it in himself… I saw it in Nico.” Charles looked up at John, “she always did try to look out for those she cared about.”

He paused, then gave a slight chuckle, “I see it in you, too. Though I have to admit it took me a little while to fully understand you.”

John let out a snort of laughter at Charles’ words. A moment later, the smile faded from his lips. “Can I ask you something, Charles?”

When Charles nodded, he continued. “Why did you join us? Why did you follow Dutch?”

Charles steadily set his bowl down on the ground, then sat forward, resting his elbows on his knees.

“I ran on my own for a long time. I did fine, too, but it makes life more difficult. The world is a lot crueler when you’re alone in it. I spent most nights worrying that someone might kill me in my sleep. Running with Dutch, well. Dutch is different. He treats me fair, he doesn’t see me for what others hold against me. Most of you don’t, so here I am.”

John nodded, swallowing dryly, “I see.”

He sat with Charles a while longer before departing for the night. He lay staring at his tent ceiling for what felt like hours. He couldn’t stop thinking about what Charles had said about Dutch. It was disconcerting. To be reminded of how deeply rooted people's faith in Dutch was. He wondered how someone like Charles could see such morality in John. And Arthur and Nico. Yet, he also trusted in Dutch. It made John feel sick, knowing the deceit that lay there instead.

He’d spent so much of his childhood seeking Dutch’s approval, to be praised by him. And what for? So he could fall in line with the others to be blindly shepherded along like lambs to the slaughter? Still, a part of him yearned for that validation. It was twisted, and cruel to subject himself to the thought, but it was present nonetheless. No matter how much he might deny it.

The following day there was no sign of Arthur. John didn’t expect to see him return so soon, but he had held onto the slightest hope that he might’ve been proved wrong. When one day turned into two, and two days turned into a week, John became anxious that Arthur wouldn’t come back soon enough.

John mostly preoccupied himself by going over the plan. He talked with Charles, too, which helped ease his mind slightly. After a few more days passed and there was still no word from their third party member, John started to grow a little annoyed considering the train was due in three days' time.

On the morning of the heist, John was pissed. The previous day, he ended up taking matters in his own hands by securing an oil wagon by himself as he felt he couldn’t trust Arthur in appearing out of thin air to say he found one.

John sat at his usual spot under the oak tree. He held a cigarette in one hand and the map Uncle gave him in the other. He looked over the marked X where the train tracks crossed over the road like he had countless times before. He had gone over the plan again and again in his mind, determined to do it right when the time came.

He brought the cigarette up to his lips, thinking of how little his efforts were met by Arthur. He blamed himself for thinking they could do this. It was too good to be true, John knew that now. He just wished he didn’t try to trick himself into believing otherwise so that he would’ve saved himself the trouble of trying. That, and the sinking feeling he had since coming back from Valentine.

He folded the map up and stuffed it in his pocket, not paying attention to it anyways. He was angry with himself that he was so upset over the whole situation. He didn’t know what he expected to get out of it all. To try to be closer to Arthur? Physically, since emotionally was never an option. In all the past eight years that idea had never gone well. So John didn’t understand why he thought that could change.

John could hear indistinct conversation coming from the edge of camp, which he paid little mind in his deep thought. That was until he heard what he thought was Arthur’s voice reply. John’s head snapped up, thinking his ears may have deceived him. To his bewilderment, there Arthur stood in the flesh.

John took a long drag from his cigarette while he watched Arthur hitch his horse. As if he felt his eyes on him, Arthur turned his head toward him. John quickly looked away, scowling as he did. He heard his footsteps approach but still refused to look up when they stopped in front of him.

“Hey-”

“You never got us that oil wagon, did you.” John finally did look up at him, flicking the cigarette away after blowing out his last breath.

It took a second for Arthur to register what he said, “Ah, I’m sorry,” he gave a little chuckle. “I clean forgot.”

“Are you? Sorry?” John shook his head, “nevermind.” He stood, “it’s taken care of, anyways.”

He moved to walk past Arthur, “otherwise we’d miss that train.”

Arthur took the few steps with him, opening his mouth like he was going to say something then closing it. John stopped to turn to him again, “are you still interested in the job? Cause if not I’m sure I can-”

“I am.”

John nodded, “okay then. Well, good.”

When neither of them said anything further, John continued on his way.

“Er, Marston-”

John faced him again but didn’t say anything. Arthur continued, “thanks… for getting it, by the way.”

John stared at him without saying anything, he blinked and without thinking blurted, “maybe we shouldn’t do this job together.”

It was a joke to have thought he could work jobs with Arthur again. He thought perhaps things were good enough between them that they might be civil. But the tension was there already, and it would only continue to build. The two didn’t work well together anymore. John’s heart dropped at its realization and from the look of surprise on Arthur’s face.

“You take it. Get Charles and Sean or someone to go with you. You don’t have to give me a cut, either.”

“What, why? Is this because I didn’t get the damn oil wagon?”

John winced at that, “No. It wasn’t. But it was your job to get it.” He felt his frustration rise, like a fuse that had been waiting to be lit upon Arthur’s arrival.

“You know, I’ve been pretty busy running all over the damn state. Perhaps you should’ve gotten it in the first place, seeing as you’re not preoccupied by much these days.”

John scoffed, “what the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“I shouldn’t be surprised. Since when does John Marston finish anything he’s started. Maybe I will take Sean with me, seeing as he’ll be a good replacement for your incompetence to see things through!”

John raised his hands in frustration, “I’m not talking to you like this, Morgan.”

Arthur laughed dryly, “go on then, run away like you always do when you can’t handle it.”

John gave a look of disbelief, “are you joking? Can’t handle it? You’re the one who didn’t bother getting the damn oil wagon! I actually want this job, believe it or not!”

“Yeah? Well what’s it like being disappointed?”

Their yelling immediately ceased, the air growing quiet like the silence that follows the crack of a whip.

John blinked, “what?”

Arthur hesitated for a second before his features hardened, “maybe you’re right. Maybe we shouldn’t work together on this.”

Not waiting for a response, Arthur turned and walked away, leaving John behind in the quiet aftermath of their argument. Alone and with nothing but a boiling anger that grew inside him, John turned too, stomping off toward the direction of his tent.

Without stopping, he grabbed his coat and left again. He found Old Boy and mounted the horse, steering him out of camp. Spurring to go faster, he flew through the countryside. John didn’t know where he was going but knew he just needed to get away for a while. He didn’t slow his pace until he came up to the river. He didn’t recognize this part of the winding waters, making him realize just how far he’d gone. But he didn’t care.

He slowed Old Boy and launched himself off and paced on the sands of the river a moment. He wanted to scream from frustration, yell at the top of his lungs. Looking down, he picked up a rock and threw it into the water. Then he picked up another and did the same, repeating himself again and again. When he got tired of throwing rocks, he stuffed his hands in his pockets. He paused for a moment, feeling the map. His fingers curled around it, then yanked it out. Without hesitating he ripped it apart and hurled it with all his might.

For all his force, the pieces merely fluttered around him, getting caught in the wind. They lingered briefly before a breeze swept by and took them away. John watched them go, and suddenly he was on the ground with tears streaming down his face. He didn’t know where it came from, but he couldn’t stop now that he started crying. The sand was cold and damp yet he continued to sit there, unable to move.

He wished he didn’t rip up the map, he wished he could put the pieces back together.

No. that wasn’t it. He wished Nico wasn’t dead. He wished what he and Arthur had wasn’t dead. He wished he didn’t fuck up every relationship he ever had. He treated Abigail poorly, and could barely look at Jack. John didn’t know how they all deserved to have someone as flawed as him. He thought he could move on, but it seemed he would be dealing with the repercussions of his actions for the rest of his life.

John held his head in his hands, gazing into the churning rapids of the river. He wondered when things got so out of control. It felt like just yesterday when he and Arthur were still kids doing nothing but spending their days never apart. Now John was so much older and alone, growing into someone he never wanted to be.

Night fell over the sky making the crickets song come to life and the stars flicker up above. John didn’t realize how long he had sat there until the evening had come and went. Wiping his cheeks with the sleeves of his coat, he eventually stood. His bones ached once he got up, stiff from sitting for so long.

Old Boy grazed not far from the river, looking up when John walked over. He gave the horse a few pats, “sorry, boy. Let’s get you home.”

John retraced his way back to camp, this time much slower than before. He tried to collect himself along the way, finding it to be pointless as his heart was still heavy. He waved to Bill as he crossed over the border into camp, quietly hitching his horse and retreating to his tent. He took off his coat and crawled into bed, his last thought wishing the day had never happened.

[caws5749]

This took SO LONG thanks @natthisback

1: Name Madison

2: Age 21

3: 3 fears spiders, not becoming a doctor, becoming like my parents

4: 3 things i love marvel movies, my blanket (whoops), and scrunchies

5: 4 turn ons compliment me, be chivalrous, (idk if this means sex turn on too or not but) moaning my n- ANYWHO uh and the last one definitely like showing you want me

6: 4 turn offs someone who only talks about themselves, being like wishy washy, being arrogant/cocky, complaining about the same things

7: my best friend that would be shea @cloversofshea

8: sexual orientation lesbian

9: my best first date okay SO this like isn’t a first date but it was my first like nicer dinner date so I’m gonna count it. It was just this past weekend actually and i just i loved it so much it was amazing

10: how tall am i 5’2

11: what do i miss honestly, feeling like i was good at things

12: what time were i born 11:14am

13: favorite color purple, although it’s slowly been turning to like a baby light pink

14: do i have a crush yes yes i do and i likes her a lot

15: favorite quote “Truth is a matter of circumstance. It’s not all things to all people all the time. And neither am I.”

16: favorite place Chicago or New York City

17: favorite food SALMON

18: do i use sarcasm yes, but i feel like i don’t use it as much as i used to

19: what am i listening to right now Christmas pop playlist on Spotify

20: first thing i notice in new person whether they only talk about themselves

21: shoe size 8 or 8.5

22: eye color blue

23: hair color right now, it’s a brown that goes to blond at my ends

24: favorite style of clothing so if this means like fav style to wear daily, definitely athleisure. If it means in general, i love love love preppy looks? But not super preppy.

25: ever done a prank call? Absolutely, many times

27: meaning behind my url i explain this in my about me page (linked in bio!)

28: favorite movie captain America winter soldier

29: favorite song i don’t really have favorite songs but rn it’s prob December night by Michael buble

30: favorite band i don’t really have fav bands

31: how i feel right now it’s really hot in here, so warm. I feel okay

32: someone i love i love lots of people but ill stick with @cloversofshea

33: my current relationship status I’ve answered this so many times literally just look at the ask game tag

34: my relationship with my parents um yikes

35: favorite holiday Halloween

36: tattoos and piercing i have i have 6 tattoos! “Breathe” on my right inner ankle, a heart on left shoulder, heart w equal sign in it behind right ear, basically an ecg on my left inner ankle, Aquarius symbol on right bicep, and caws 5749 on my left side. And my ears are pierced.

37: tattoos and piercing i want definitely the black widow symbol in the same place Scarlett got her og6 tattoo, an amino acid tattoo that spells out “wah” , definitely more little tattoos! And maybe more ear piercings idk

38: the reason i joined tumblr so, I’ve had a tumblr for many many years. I originally joined bc my best friends at the time had them, and i was like sure! Ive deleted that personal blog since, and started my new personal blog a few years ago. I also have a studyblr that i started i think back in high school, and i just started this blog back in the end of July!

39: do i and my last ex hate each other no, I’d say far from it bc i likes her a lot

40: do i ever get “good morning” or “good night” texts yes from her and i fucking love it, it used to be a bigger thing almost every day and i loved it

41: have i ever kissed the last person i texted lmao no and for those who were wondering it is @cloversofshea

42: when did i last hold hands LMAO WITH @michelinaamour WHEN I WAS STUMBLING HOME DRUNK IN HIGH HEELS

43: how long does it take me to get ready in the morning it depends, anywhere from ten minutes to an hour and a half

44: have you shaved your legs in the past three days no! I am super lucky and have really light colored hairs on my legs and so i dont’ have to shave very often. Also i just want to say that i personally love shaving my legs and it is my choice to do so.. girls, you do not need to shave!!

45: where am i right now so i started answering this in the research lab, but i am currently sitting at one of the dining places on campus finishing it

46: if i were drunk and can’t stand, who’s taking care of me LMAO DEFINITELY @michelinaamour because she’s done it ALREADY FOR ME MULTIPLE TIMES

47: do i like my music loud or at a reasonable level it depends, in car trips, definitely blast it. But just driving around or listening in doors, definitely reasonable level

48: do i live with my mom and dad nope i live with @michelinaamour

49: am i excited for anything yes, I’m excited for lots of things. I get excited easily

50: do i have someone of the opposite sex i can tell everything to no. I used to

51: how often do i wear a fake smile this is a really interesting question. I don’t consider smiles i give to random people like ordering food or something to be fake, so i would say fake smiles are when I’m not okay and trying to hide it. Which happens less often now bc I’m just much happier of a person

52: when was the last time i hugged someone I think it was @michelinaamour two days ago but i think i hugged @cloversofshea that day too so

53: what if the last person i kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me I’d be heartbroken tbh

54: is there anyone i trust even though i should not yes, certain adults in my life

55: what is something i disliked about today my hair won’t do what i want it to :(

56: if i could meet anyone on this earth who would it be probably Chris Evans or Scarlett Johansson

57: what do i think about the most tumblr and everything with that, or probably her or school stuff definitely

58: what’s my strangest talent i don’t think i have any lol

59: do i have any strange phobias yes definitely haha, I’m terrified of stepping on worms

60: do i prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it i think a few years ago i would have said behind, but honestly I think I’d love to be in front of the camera now

61: what was the last lie i told i actually don’t know. Maybe this past weekend as to like the fact that i was going out on a date instead of just going out with a friend

62: do i prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online I’d say talking on the phone bc then they cant’ see me lmao

63: do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Yes and yes

64: do i believe in magic? Yes, or at least, that’s what i tell myself

65: do i believe in luck yes

66: what’s the weather like right now snowy!

67: what was the last book I’ve ever read The Butchering Art, it’s about the history of surgery

68: do i like the smell of gasoline omg yes yes yes yes yes yes

69: do i have any nicknames yes, madz, madi, girl who lives by the kitchen, queen (a new one) and clown (also a new one) thanks @natthisback

70: what was the worst injury I’ve ever had back in freshman year of college, i did something stupid and my foot swelled up like hell and hurt so bad. There were no fractures detected but the swelling stayed for a really long time, as well as the bruising and pain, and it never returned to normal

71: do i spent my money or save it SPEND IT BABY

72: can i touch my nose w my tongue no I’m not that talented

73: is there anything pink in 10 ft from me. Hmm part of my backpack? And my rings are pinkish bc they are rose gold. Oh and my scrunchie is pink, as well as my iPad

74: favorite animal cat

75: what was i doing last night at 12am i was still at work In the emergency room!

76: what do i think satan’s last name is uh honestly Jim lmao (it’s demons Jim! @cloversofshea )

77: what’s a song that always makes me happy when i hear it so good by dove Cameron

78: how can you win my heart suggest we watch a marvel movie, and I’m prob straight up in love. There are other things too but they’re pretty general, like compliment me, show you want me ya know

79: what would i want to be written on my tombstone haha, as a joke, “so realy its very thing. Just to keep everyone guessing.” But idk something funny

80: what is my favorite word i have no idea, maybe like sophisticated or something like that or aesthetic , champagne is a good one too

81: my top 5 blogs on tumblr ooh! Okay so @markiplier @lesbian-deadpool @americasass-romanoff @lesbianmariahilll @shining-rey-of-sunshine but i love so so so so so many more, and i have a lot of top blogs

82: if the whole world were listening to me right now what would i say fuck trump also I’m gay as hell and I’m growing tired of hiding it from people

83: do i have any relatives in jail not that i know of

84: i accidentally eat some radioactive vegatables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super power of my choice! What is that power lmao this question is great. Prob same powers as Wanda

85: what would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on any weird fetis- JUST KIDDING. Do you still think about them?

86: what is my current desktop picture so on my laptop, it’s fall flowers. But since that’s broken af, i use my iPad and that background is one of the apple ones. It’s just a beach idk why but I’ve never changed it

87: had sex WHY IS THIS IN EVERY SINGLE ASK GAME WTF

88: bought condoms nope i am gay as hell bye

89: gotten pregnant nope i am gay as hell bye

90: failed a class nope, definitely come close though

91: kissed a boy yes

92: kissed a girl yes

93: have i ever kissed somebody in th rain honestly, probably at some point, but I’ve never had one of those romantic kisses in the rain. I really really want to though and i think about it a lot

94: had job yeah, I’ve had three true jobs

95: left the house without my wallet probably

96: bullied someone on the internet no bc I’m not a fucking douche

97: had sex in public not yet

98: played on a sports team yeah, played softball and basketball in middle school

99: smoked weed yeah, but i didn’t get high

100: did drugs nope

101: smoked cigarettes nope, i think i asked drunk once if i could smoke, but my friend was like “really?” And i was like uhhhhhh just kidding haha

102: drank alcohol lmao i drink fucking all the time i mean. I literally have drunk writing nights , I’m drinking tonight too

103: am i a vegetarian/vegan i was a vegetarian for a while, and then an aspiring vegan, and then vegetarian, and then pescatarian now!

104: been overweight no

105: been underweight yes

106: been to a wedding yeah, but like not for a long time. I was like 4 and the flower girl. Oh WAIT. Does playing a wedding count? I played cello at a wedding so i was there???

107: been on the computer for 5 hours straight hell yeah, how would i function not doing this with class and relaxing

108: watched tv for 5 hours straight lmao definitely

109: been outside my home country yeah

110: gotten my heart broken yeah

111: been to a professional sports game yeah. I don’t really do sports though , so when i go it’s usually in suites and I’m just there for the food

112: broken a bone nope!

113: cut myself this is...a. Really deep question but bc i want to be able to speak about mental health on here, the answer is yes.

114: been to prom yes! I went to my junior and senior proms!

115: been in airplane too many times

116: fly by helicopter no, I’m not sure if i want to do this or not

117: what concerts have i been to I’ve been to lots. So first off, I’ve been to hundreds of classical concerts (and performed in them). As for pop, Bruno mars twice, maroon five like three times. Selena Gomez. Josh groban. American authors. Definitely others that i don’t remember

118: had a crush on someone of the same sex yes I’m fucking gay

119: learned another language so if this means fluent, no. I took a decent amount of French and am learning Russian right now!

120: wore make up absolutely. When i choose to wear makeup, its because i fuckign love makeup haha. Most days I’m lazy though and like to let my skin breathe and be natural

121: lost my virginity before I was 18 no

122: had oral sex yeah

123: dyed my hair many times

124: voted in a presidential election okay i think so but honestly can’t remember. But I’m pretty sure i did.

125: rode in an ambulance no and i never want to.

126: had a surgery no and i never want to haha. Well i cant say that. Depending on how my life plays out, I might freeze my eggs or something.

127: met someone famous yes, several I think, but probably Henry winkler was the one I remember most.

128: stalked someone on a social network yeah

129: peed outside nope don’t think so and definitely don’t want to

130: been fishing yes I have been ice fishing and regular fishing

131: helped w charity i have!

132: been rejected by a crush I’ve been not liked back but i don’t think I’ve ever made like a move on a crush and been rejected

133: broken a mirror ooh i don’t think i have actually

134: what do i want for birthday nothing bc i dont’ like my bday

[mama-m1na]

Apocalypse: Chapter 4

~~~IV~~~

Two weeks passed as the newcomer to the world fell into his own routine of waking up, getting breakfast at Rhamina and Tijarah's suite, taking on some jobs with the ravenette sending him reminders at certain times to eat meals and take care of himself, then returning to the building at the end of the day.

Some nights he would find his neighbor on her balcony and he would listen to her rants and stories of ridiculousness that happened on a particular day.

It was on one of these nights that she requested for his presence at the next meeting amongst the Apocalypse leadership.

The eighteen-year-old had stressed the importance of this specific meeting, so he was really in no position to refuse.

By the time he entered the room, all of the leaders were already seated at the table and many of them greeted him with warm expressions.

"What's up, Cloud?" Sierra greeted as the blond walked past her seat, "I see you've been pretty busy, huh?"

"The jobs aren't that much different from what I did back in Sector 7," the male shrugged as he faced her.

"Yeah, I'm betting that's because you're sticking to jobs in and around the city," Justin commented, "You want to get some unique jobs, head up to the mountains or some shit, or even head over to L.A."

"True, but unfortunately, we're not here to talk about job opportunities or even our normal reports this week," Rhamina spoke, prompting the man to walk over and stand behind the lead four.

"No," she continued, cracking her knuckles, "We're talking about our friends down in the San Diego area today."

"For the past few weeks, Yukitara's group has been completely silent," Sam started with a serious expression, "Like they've gone completely underground."

"Their usual shipment of equipment hasn't showed up yet and as you know, we give them their trade of weapons about ten days before they're set to pay us back," Tiajarah spoke with a frown, "And I know that shit got to them at least, three weeks ago."

"We've tried contacting them multiple times, but nothing," Kerstin sighed as she raised her head from the table's cool surface.

"What the fuck?" G-lo asked with a scowl, "So they're just cutting us off? After all we've done for them?"

"That's one possibility," Rhamina said before anyone else could raise any offensive comments, "Or they could be in trouble and are just too stubborn to ask for help."

"I mean, think about it, they are run by a family of Asians," she continued with a small shrug, "You know how stubborn we are when it comes to aspects of pride and honor."

"Either way, it calls for a little trip down to San Diego to check on them," Sam added as the brunette looked down the table.

"Yeah, that and the fact they've been neglecting the generator in Coronado Bay," Tijarah scoffed as Rhamina double tapped on the table, allowing footage of drones flying around the outside of a white building to play.

"Normally, it's their job to make sure this plant is inactive, but as you can see, the drones and outer turrets are guarding it again," the ravenette explained, the video not needing much clarification.

"So who's going in this time?" the only Filipino male in the room asked.

"Me, Mina, Sierra, and Cloud," Kerstin spoke, leaning over the back of her chair to face the said blond, "This'll give you an opportunity to build more connections and explore more areas you could be going to for jobs."

"Alright, so when are we going?" the ex-SOLDIER asked, noticing the ravenette's straight expression.

"I knew I wasn't going to get a reply, but I went ahead and informed them that we would be heading over in two days," she spoke after checking her phone, "I didn't ask, they should know by now that it isn't a request."

The rest of the meeting was basically just running through who was taking over what while the three leaders would be gone for a few days.

Once the meeting was dismissed, Rhamina and Cloud waited for the room to clear out before they walked into an elevator together.

"I wouldn't take any jobs before this mission if I were you," Rhamina said as the doors closed in front of them, "If Yukitara's group does end up turning on us, then I don't want you, or anyone, to be worn out by the time we get there."

"Who is Yukitara, exactly?" the blond asked as the elevator began to descend.

"A gang leader from before the incidents with the generators happened, someone I know personally," she explained with a somber gaze kept on the doors, "I played with his daughter when we were younger and now we're allies in this dystopia."

"I can't believe that I'm saying this, but I'm actually kind of glad I was stupid as a child, in this case that is," she chuckled, "If I hadn't blindly trusted that man while my father was off gambling, then we wouldn't have made such a powered ally."

"And how powerful is he?" the male questioned as they exited the elevator on the tenth floor of the building.

"Well, considering that he had control over the entirety of San Diego, which is about more than ten times the size of what we control, I'd say pretty powerful," the teen chuckled once more, "Even in places like L.A. they had to split up control into separate districts within the city, but Yukitara is able to manage his territory as a whole.

"Numbers and territory alone doesn't mean that someone is powerful," Cloud replied as they just stood in front of their doors.

"In some cases, but it's more of how Yukitara is able to lead his gang and how he is able to keep it all in control," Rhamina clarified with a smile, "He is way more strict than we are here, but it's to be expected, I guess."

"Oh and one more thing," she said with her hand on her door handle, "Make sure you look at what monsters and mutants are in the San Diego-Coronado area, they're vastly different from what we have here."

When the day came for the four to make their way over to San Diego, they met on the second floor of the parking structure.

"We won't be actually talking with them until this afternoon, but it's best to get a feel of the place before we do," Rhamina said as everyone loaded their luggage into the back of a black van, "It has been a while since we've been over there."

"Yeah, I'm kind of excited," Sierra spoke with a smile, "getting out of the Abyss and away from all of the kids for a few days at least."

"This isn't a vacation," Cloud reminded as he stood next to his bike, "We still have a job we have to do."

"Yeah, but who says we can't have some fun while doing it?" Kerstin asked, "San Diego is full of fun places and a lot of great strip clubs."

Rhamina immediately covered the younger teen's mouth with a disappointed look on her face, but something told Cloud that this kind of thing happened a lot and he wouldn't be surprised from what he had seen in his living with Apocalypse.

"You can go ahead and do that on your own time, but please act normal and refrain from saying those kinds of things when we're with other people," the ravenette sighed as she narrowed her eyes at the darkette.

"Mina, you need to come with me!" the seventeen-year-old whines as she clung onto the ravenette's arm, causing the female to cough in surprise and her eyes to widen as she attempted to pry her off.

"Kerstin!" Rhamina exclaimed in a chiding but embarrassed tone as she tried to back away, earning a pout from the shorter female.

"Mina, you promised that you would come with me and Sam the next time we went!" the female argued, "And that we would go drinking too!"

"I'm down for drinking to an extent, but I am not setting foot in a fucking strip club," the ravenette huffed as she shoved the female into the passenger seat of the van, slamming the door behind her, "And Sam ain't even here, you dipshit!"

Rhamina let out a long sigh as Sierra chuckled behind her, patting her on the back as she said, "It's okay, Mina. She tried to get me to join her too."

"So, Cloud," Rhamina spoke, changing the subject as she turned to the male, "Just follow the can and you should be fine but just be careful as we get closer to San Diego. More gangs tend to bunch up around it's borders."

"I'll be fine," the blond assured, earning a nod from both females before they got in the van, ignoring the faces Kerstin was making at them through the window, with Sierra getting in the driver's seat while Rhamina got in the row of seats behind her.

The blue-eyed male got on his bike as the black vehicle started up and followed it out of the parking structure, eventually getting onto the freeway towards San Diego.

It took about an hour and a half before the group made it to the large city by the ocean and ended up parking in a lot near the water.

"So, since it's like eleven, why don't we just walk around Seaport Village for an hour before getting lunch?" Sierra suggested after everyone got out of or off of their vehicles.

"That sounds good to me," Rhamina yawned as she rubbed her eyes that were still adjusting to the change in light.

"Did you not get much sleep last night?" Cloud asked as he watched the female stretch out with a small, high pitched, sigh leaving her lips.

"I did, it's just that I just woke up from a nap in the van," she replied with her eyes half lidded.

"You know, you have really pretty eyes, Cloud," the female mused as she leaned in closer to his face, "I don't think I've told you that yet."

"Okay, you creepy fuck, let's start walking," Kerstin said, snickering as she noticed that her sister's words had flustered the male.

"Kay," she hummed in reply, walking to enter the old styled village filled with small shops and boutiques.

As the three teens walked on ahead, the blond took a moment to let out the breath he didn't know he was holding before going to catch up with them.

The small village was pretty quiet with only a handful of shops open with the small amount of normal people that were walking around.

While Cloud followed behind the girls, he kept getting glimpses of the ravenette's blissful expression as she took in the scenery and breathed the fresh, sea air.

It was about forty-five minute into the walk when the group was walking over a bridge that crossed over a small stream when two of the Filipinos stopped.

"Hey, Kerstin," the ravenette poke as she looked at the peaceful scenery before them, "you wanna grab a duck?"

"Hell yeah," the younger sibling spoke as her gaze locked onto a pair of mallard ducks with three ducklings.

Splash!

Sierra and Cloud, alerted by the sudden noise, looked back to see that the other two had jumped from the bridge in order to stalk the birds.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" the teen chuckled as she leaned over the railing to start recording with her phone.

Both girls were completely focused, each going around in opposite directions to corner the birds, slowing further when the ducks became aware of their presence.

The male scoffed at the sight, but couldn't help the small smile creeping onto his face as he watched the ravenette stalk forward like a cat about to pounce.

Suddenly the male reached up to clutch his head, trying to soothe the flash of pain as images flashed through his mind; a little girl with black hair was running through what looked to be a forest with a large smile on her face when a large shadow grew over her.

Cloud was brought back to reality by hearing Kerstin's loud string of curses, looking up to see that Rhamina had successfully captured the male duck while Kerstin knelt in the ankle deep water with the female duck sitting on a rock above her with its ducklings with it.

"What the fuck?!" the darkette screeched as the eighteen-year-old turned to face the two on the bridge with a proud smile on her face.

After releasing the duck, the pair met back up with the other members of their group on the other side of the stream.

"That's what you get for wearing canvas shoes," the ravenette lightly chided in response to Kerstin complaining about how her shoes were soaked.

"And that wasn't fair," the younger female huffed as Cloud let out a sigh, "That fucker just sat there and practically let you pick it up!"

"Or maybe you just aren't skilled enough to catch a duck," the blond retorted, earning a gasp from Sierra as Rhamina's eyes nervously flitted between the male and her sister.

"Excuse me, bitch?" Kerstin asked as she got right up in the male's face with an annoyed grin, "You wanna throw fucking hands?"

Before anything else could be said, the ravenette moved in between the two individuals, forcing them away from each other.

"It's about twelve already, so how about we get some lunch?" she asked with a smile, not directly looking at either of them.

"Yeah, that's a good idea," Sierra added, watching carefully as the ravenette kept a hand out in front of each person, "the cafe should be open and if we go right now, we might be able to get a balcony table."

Kerstin backed up, but before she walked away said, "I get that you're probably used to working on your own, but you're a part of Apocalypse no. Learn to treat your teammates with respect."

Rhamina let out a sigh as the seventeen-year-old began to walk ahead, lowering the hand in front of Cloud before bringing the other up to scratch at her neck.

She still didn't look up at him, but he knew the teen was talking to him as she said, "I'm sorry about that, but let's not try to work each other up, okay?"

Things were a little more light hearted as the group started eating, but the ex-SOLDIER couldn't stop his mind from wandering back to the images he saw.

Who in the ever loving hell was that girl and why was he getting visions of her? And why now?

The man was quite sure that he had never met that girl in his life, so why now was he being-

"Cloud, honey, are you okay?" Rhamina asked as she placed a hand on his shoulder from the seat next to him. "You were zoning out for awhile there."

"I'm fine," he replied, gently shrugging the female's hand off of his shoulder as Kerstin was finishing up her meal.

"Are you sure?" the ravenette pressed with a tinge of worry visible in her brown eyes, to which the male did not reply.

"Alright then," she shrugged as the waitress walked by to pick up the check, "Just remember, I'll be here if you ever need to talk."

The male merely nodded as everyone got up from their seats to start heading back to their vehicles; however, it wasn't long before something caught the ravenette's attention.

About ten meters to their right, two men were harassing a woman who obviously didn't want to be anywhere near them.

Ignoring the calls of her group, Rhamina walked over to them with a bright smile and asked, "Is that anyway to treat a lady? Or any other human being for that matter?"

"It's obvious she doesn't want the company of either of you so why don't you just leave her alone?" she continued as they turned to her.

"This ain't any of your business, so unless you would like to join her, then I suggest you walk away," one threatened as the other grabbed the girl's wrist.

"Why is it that so many men do not understand the meaning of the word consent?" she asked as she stormed up to the male holding the girl and digging her thumb into a spot in his forearm that contained the nerves leading to his hand, the sudden pain causing him to let go.

"I would start getting out of her, dear," the ravenette mused as both of the men glared at her, causing the other female to dart off in the opposite direction.

"Listen here you little-" the man started as he began to close in on the shorter female, but was cut off as the edge of her opened fan was aimed at his throat.

"And what are you going to do with that?" the other one asked mockingly, "Blow us away?"

Cloud was tempted to move in with his buster sword when the two men began laughing, but he only watched as the teenager flicked her wrist to throw her fan to her left, the weapon slicing right through a tree before returning to her waiting hand.

She raised a brow as both men wordlessly locked their gazes to where the tree once stood before grumbling something the teen didn't care to listen for as they walked away.

The ravenette did not notice the pair of eyes on her form as she tucked her fan away and walked over to apologize to the tree she cut down, but Cloud sure did.

He saw a young Korean man sitting at a bench wearing a black shirt underneath a dark olive colored bomber jacket and a pair of jeans with black sneakers.

Th male was staring at the female while talking on his phone and Cloud did not like the energy he was putting out at all.

As they continued to walk back to where their vehicles were parked, the girls took the time to point out a building sticking out of the water near the island across the water.

"That's the Coronado plant," Sierra explained as the breeze came in, "One of the more powerful ones in California."

"The most unethical inventions of mankind," Kerstin scoffed before turning on her heel and walking away along with Sierra and Rhamina who looked just as disgusted.

Once they got back to the van and motorcycle, they drove south for about five minutes before pulling into the parking lot of a large building.

There were guards at the gate; however, they only gave the two vehicles a passing glance before letting them in, which caused the seed of suspicion to sprout within the blond male.

The group of teenagers was uncharacteristically silent as they walked from where they parked to the entrance of the building where they were greeted by an Asian man wearing a white dress shirt and black pants.

"Hello, Ms Miyu, Vera, and others," the man greeted, causing Sierra to narrow her eyes at the man, "I will be your escort for today."

"Thank you, Mister..." "Nakahara, please follow me," the man spoke before leading the four inside.

They silently followed the man into an elevator and anyone, even a blind person, could see the tension stemming from the obviously annoyed trio of females.

"You know, I don't remember this building being so empty," Sierra commented as the elevator continued to ascend, "Where is everyone?"

"They're all out on missions," Nakahara answered, facing away from the four and straight ahead at the elevator doors.

"Seriously?" Kerstin questioned with a raised brow before locking eyes with Sierra while Rhamina just kept her gaze on the man in front of them.

Her expression was completely void of any emotion as she gently fanned herself with her usual weapon of choice.

As Cloud observed the younger female, he noticed that her hair was lightly floating behind her and he now understood why everyone had been calling him lucky that they did not view him as a threat.

During his time with Apocalypse, some of the members had actually gone up to him and tried to talk to him, many of them being the younger members.

He had recalled that many of them said that when they first saw the ravenette, they were completely intimidated by her presence before they got to know her; and if this was the side of her that they first encountered, then the blond coulnd't blame them.

The way she held herself at the moment screamed authority and demanded full respect, and no matter how hard he tried the male couldn't see what she was thinking.

While reading people wasn't his forte in the first place, it unnerved him to find that the girl who more often than not, wore her emotions on her sleeve was completely unreadable.

All attention was brought back to the ravenette when she finally spoke, asking, "Are you a newer member, Nakahara?"

"No, Ma'am, why do you ask?" the male replied, not even looking over his shoulder to address her.

"Well," she started before snapped her fan shut, a frown appearing on her face while her eyes narrowed at him, "Usually, older members do not tend to reek of fear in the presence of allies."

"So, Nakahara, what reasons would you have to fear us?" she continued as the male visibly tensed.

"Unless,, you're hiding something from us," Kerstin added as they made it to the top floor of the building.

No one said anything else, because it was already obvious. Nothing else needed to be said and the man knew that if he did, he would just be endangering himself.

"The boss will be here shortly," the male said as the four were ushered into an empty but lavish office.

"This is fucking bullshit," Sierra huffed as she crossed her arms over her chest, "After all we've done for them, they start pulling this shit without even so much as a word."

"Yeah, I'm beginning to think that this shit is kind of stupid too," the darkette agreed while the ravenette stayed silent, "What do you think, Mina?"

"While I am annoyed at all the secrecy, I will withhold my judgement until we get an explanation," the ravenette sighed from her spot on the couch as Cloud stood beside her.

"You're awfully patient today," Kerstin commented as she plopped down on the couch next to her, "you would usually be talking shit."

"True, but I would actually like to work this out as peacefully as possible," Rhamina replied, "These people, well some of them, are friends after all. I would hate to lose them like this."

"Mina, that's really cute and all, but you know we might have to beat the shit out of them," the younger female spoke as she placed a hand on the ravenette's shoulder.

"And we will if it comes to that," she answered, but it was easy to see that she didn't complete her thoughts.

Before Cloud could press further, the door to the office opened to reveal a teenage girl who looked to be a human sized porcelain doll.

She had pale skin and medium length black hair styled into twin pigtails secured with white bows.

Her round, dark eyes were brought out by her powder pink blush and blood red lipstick.

The girl wore a gothic black dress with white cuffs and a white collar as well as other accessories that matched her aesthetic.

"Greetings, representatives of Apocalypse," she greeted formally before bowing a full ninety degrees at the hip.

"Hana," Sierra identified as the younger female straightened herself out completely, "Where is your father?"

"That would be the current situation," the girl replied in a flat tone, displaying no emotion as she did.

"What situation?" Kerstin questioned as she sat up straight.

"My father had gone missing, leaving me in charge," she explained, "My primary focus for the past few weeks was to recover him."

"So, let me get this straight," Rhamina said as she stood from her spot with her hands clasped together in front of her chest, "You divulged all of your resources into finding your father, leaving your territory practically unattended and basically ghosting us; instead of calling on your allies for help?"

"You. Absolute. Dunce," the ravenette seethed through gritted teeth before she took a deep breath, a guilty frown forming on the doll's face.

"Do you know what I saw in Seaport village today? Smaller gangs crawling in because there was no one regulating the borders," the eighteen-year-old spoke.

"Yeah, and I'm sure you noticed that someone has activated the plant in Coronado," Sierra added from her spot, standing behind the couch.

"Yes, I have," Hana spoke, looking to the ground before Rhamina placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Hana, I know finding your father is at the top of your priority list, but you need to think about the whole picture," If things continue like this, then finding him will just get harder and what if you were allied with someone unreasonable? They would have just stormed your territory if you ghosted them."

"I... understand," the female spoke before bowing her head in shame.

With a nod, Rhamina retracted her hand before asking, "Do you know what mistakes you've made?"

"Yes."

"Do you know how to fix them?"

"Will you actually ask for help when you need it this time?"

"Yes."

"Alright then, now that's out of the way," Rhamina chirped, a bright smile returning to her face, "We'll take care of the generator situation starting tomorrow and if you father isn't found by the time we get done, then we'll help with that too!"

"You'll still help me?" the Japanese girl asked with confusion written all over her face, "Even after all the trouble I just put you through?"

"Yep, but we're not doing it for free, I'm not that nice," the female chuckled with a quick wink in the young girl's direction.

"Then what would you like in return?" Hana asked, holding her hands together, "i will have your equipment delivered as soon as possible, but what else?"

"You're paying for the dinner we're getting when this is all over," Rhamina spoke as she bounced on the balls of her feet.

"And it won't be cheap!" she continued upon seeing the surprised look on the doll's face, "I want the Korean barbecue down in the south side of the Asian district!"

"Yes, of course," Hana replied with a soft smile as the other girls began cheering about the free food before her eyes drifted over to the blond who just looked bored.

He gave off a strange aura, one that she had never seen before and she did not like it one bit.

"God dammit Hana, you had us all stressed out for nothing!" Kersting sighed before walking over to ruffle the girl's hair," Just tell us about this kind of shit and we'll help out."

"I apologize," the female spoke once more with a small bow before continuing, "As you are staying here, please allow me to accompany you to your hotel."

"Of course!" the ravenette chirped as she wrapped her arms around the smaller girl.

The entire walk out to the parking lot, Cloud stayed silent as he walked behind the girls, just watching their interactions but even as he did, he couldn't help but feel like there was a pair of eyes on him.

Once the girls were in the van, Hana got straight to the point in asking, "Who is that man?"

"He's a new recruit," Kerstin explained from her spot in the passenger's seat, "Came to us a few weeks ago."

"And you let him come here with you?" the noirette asked with a raised brow from next to Rhamina.

"He's quite capable, Hana. That sword isn't just for show," the ravenette assured, "Plus he's new to California, so the travel would be good for him."

"So where is he from then?" the doll asked as her eyes narrowed, only earning a shrug from each of the girls.

"We don't really know, but he's useful and kinda... nice, I guess," Sierra said, not taking her eyes off of the road.

"I know he may be outwardly cold and brutally blunt at times, but he's a good person," Rhamina spoke as she looked out the window with a small smile, "I trust him."

As the younger female looked up at the eighteen-year-old, she saw nothing but the pure truth.

Rhamina trusted him; however, the noirette knew that this could be a dangerous situation for the older female.

Whoever had the ravenette's full trust usually had her unyielding loyalty to accompany it, even if it went against her own safety.

The ride was over when they arrived at a luxurious hotel, much more extravagant than the one that Apocalypse used for housing, but it was to be expected.

It was silent for the most part as they rode up the elevator with all of their luggage, save for Rhamina who was humming the melody of an old pop song as she read a 'book' on her phone.

"This is where you'll be staying for the time being," Hana said as they stepped off the elevator and entered the penthouse, "I hope it is to your liking."

"Yeah, it's fine," Kerstin said as she immediately walked into the kitchen while throwing her bag onto one of the couches she passed, "Thanks, Hana."

"I'm going to go claim my room now," Rhamina said before disappearing down the hall with a small wave.

"Same," Sierra spoke before following the older female, leaving Cloud and Hana standing in the entryway.

"So," she started, looking up to the swordsman, "It is to my understanding that you are a new recruit to Apocalypse, yes?"

"Yeah, and I'm guessing you're Yukitara's daughter," the blond replied as he met the girl's dead gaze.

"You must be something else if Rhamina herself recruited you," she spoke before her eyes narrowed, a dark glint in her brown hues.

"If you break her trust, then you'll wish you'd never been born," she hissed before walking back into the elevator.

Already used to those kinds of threats, Cloud easily brushed off the statement before walking down the hall with his bag so he could take one of the five bedrooms.

After about half an hour of getting settled in, a knock came from the other side of the ravenette's door before a familiar voice asked, "Hey, Mina, do you have any pads?"

A look of horror crossed the eighteen-year-old's face as she dropped her pen and pulled out her phone to check her calendar.

"Fuck!" she exclaimed before she capped her pen, put her journal away, pulled on her boots, grabbed her purse, and opened the door.

"Did you forget, too?" Sierra asked after hearing the older female's rush from behind the wooden door.

"Yep, shark week for me starts in three days, so off to the pharmacy we go," Rhamina sang as she and Sierra walked out the penthouse, taking one of the key cards with them.

A few minutes later, Cloud was brought out of his thoughts by his phone buzzing, a text notification appearing on screen once he checked it.

It was a message from Rhamina, telling him where she and Sierra went and to make sure that Kerstin didn't set anything on fire.

'Knowing her,' he thought, standing up from his spot on the bed, 'She probably would.'

The male then fastened his buster sword to his back before walking over to the dining area where he saw the darkette with a bottle of whiskey and a glass filled with the liquid.

"Hey, Cloud," she greeted before taking a sip of the alcoholic beverage, "Want some?"

"Sure, but should you really be drinking that?" the blond asked, remaining on his feet as the female pulled out another glass from out of nowhere and began filling it, "How old are you?"

"Seventeen, but it's fine," she replied, handing him the glass," I've been drinking for years, I know my limits."

"Whatever you say," the male shrugged as he took a sip of the slightly bitter liquid.

"So, what were you before you ended up in this world?" Kerstin asked as she looked up at the male, "Your skills with that sword tell me that you weren't your normal, everyday son of a bitch."

"I was an ex-SOLDIER," the blond replied, knowing he basically gave his entire backstory to Rhamina the day after he met her.

"Military, huh?" the darkette asked before gulping down whatever was left in her cup, immediately filling it back up again, "Believe it or not; me, Sierra, and Mina all came from military families."

"Sierra's dad was in the Army and both of my parents were in the Navy, same with Mina's parents," she continued before her face morphed into a scowl, "Fucking bitches."

Cloud let out a hum of confusion as he slowly worked at his drink and the younger female was happy to explain.

"I loved auntie, but I fucking hated the way she treated Mina," she started, "Always getting on her ass for her grades which were pretty good. Mina was actually working her ass off to earn those grades, only to be constantly told that it was never good enough. Not to mention the fact that she kept blaming Mina for the stupidest shit."

"Their high expectations are why she gets so stressed out over things," the teen huffed, "Sure she's a little better now, but this kind of life is so full of stress. I'm just glad she hasn't had a breakdown recently."

"What about her father?" the ex-SOLDIER asked, his curiosity beginning to peak through his normal personality.

"She hasn't mentioned her father that much, but from what I know and what Mina told us, I can deduce that her father was an absolute scumbag!" Kerstin snapped before slamming her drink.

"The fucker was so unreasonable and manipulative and if things didn't go his way, he would get violent," she explained, before she locked eyes with the blond, "You know, he almost killed Mina multiple times. And that was all before she even turned ten!"

Cloud let out a small gasp at the revelation; while he was used to violence and near death, he could only imagine how mentally damaging it was to a child to have almost been killed by one of their parents and more than once at that!

"That isn't even the end of it either," the female grumbled before letting out a sigh.

"Listen, I don't think she wanted anyone to find this out, but I'm pretty sure that fucker murdered her mother," the darkette spoke in a low tone, "They were having constant arguments before she died and the way he disappeared so soon after she did, couldn't have been a coincidence."

Before Cloud even had a chance to ask further, the front door opened and a familiar voice sung, "We're back and we brought dinner for later!"

"Hey, Cloud, don't let her know about any of that, okay? The topic of her parents is really touchy."

"Alright," the male agreed with a frown as Rhamina entered the dining area with a bright smile on her face.

"What did I miss?"

~~~Fin. Chapter 4~~~

Masterlist

[ladylynse]

Hey, @queenofhearts7378, I finally got another part of your prize written.... *grins* Here’s Part V of Whirlwind! [FF | AO3] Here’s the timeline post if anyone wants a refresher, or you can check out Part IV again.

6:16 PM

Jake didn’t expect his cell phone to start ringing, but he wasn’t entirely surprised to answer it and find Danny on the other end of the line. The line crackled with wind, meaning Danny was moving and doing a poor job of sheltering his phone, and if he was calling without stopping— “What’s up?” Jake asked, not entirely sure he wanted to hear the answer. Hadn’t getting reamed out by his mom been enough? If something had gone wrong with Danny’s fight with cat boy—

“Did you give your Fenton Phone away to some guy calling himself the Ninja?”

Jake groaned. He wasn’t even halfway to the shop—on foot, because he wasn’t wholly eager to get there and explain the whole disaster to Gramps and Fu when it would just mean he’d be yelled at in Chinese and subtly reminded that this was important—and this was not the news he wanted to hear. “Aw, man, he didn’t call to report the fire, did he?” If Danny knew about the Ninja, then he probably knew about everything else, too, and Jake was not in the mood to deal with this right now. At least nothing had gone drastically wrong with cat boy or Danny would have led with that. Not that one bright spot stood for much in this mess. These Miraculous things sounded important, and the Dragon Council was not going to be impressed if they found out he couldn’t stop people from misusing magical artefacts.

Especially when he’d gotten a warning from the Oracle twins.

“What fire?”

“Okay, look, there was this big deal fashion show in town. My mom was catering it. But it’s spitting distance from where we caught cat boy, and the Ninja had already fought someone I’m pretty sure was powered up by our friend with the Butterfly Brooch. I went to warn my mom and things went south.”

“You…. Are you telling me you set the building on fire?”

“Not intentionally! And the sprinklers put it out anyway. My point is, I kinda ruined the show and Mom sent me back to the shop to get Fu and Gramps for backup. She figures we’re gonna need more help—”

“From what the Ninja was saying, she’s not wrong. He won’t give details, but he figures something bad’s about to go down.” The wind noise died away; wherever Danny was, he’d finally stopped moving. “Look, Jake, about Chat Noir. Cat boy. I don’t think we have this right. I don’t think he’s the bad guy here. He was scared of me.”

“You’re a ghost. He probably knew he couldn’t touch you.”

A snort. “That wasn’t it. He could’ve distracted me by endangering a whole bunch of people’s lives, but he never tried it.”

“Maybe because he couldn’t touch you and wanted to stay on your good side? If his partner’s got this Brooch of Metamorphosis—”

“The only time he mentioned his partner was when he said he could beat me without them.”

“Right, because apparently his partner’s working the show my mom was catering. Until I tried to warn her and wrecked it.”

“Just…double check what your book says about the Cat Ring and the Butterfly Brooch. This Ninja guy said he thought things were gonna turn fast, and…. I dunno, Jake. I want to make sure we’re on the right side of this. Something doesn’t feel right.”

They couldn’t really afford to ignore the Oracle twins’ warnings on the basis of feelings, but Jake trusted Danny. “Chill. I’ll take a second look. Or make Fu do it.” Danny’s silence made it clear he wasn’t convinced, so Jake asked Danny for identifying landmarks and told him which way to fly to get to the show. If the Ninja had read the situation right, Jake didn’t really want him to be the only one on the scene.

Danny hadn’t said what had happened with his fight with cat boy—Chat Noir—but Jake could read between the lines. Chat Noir might not have destroyed anything, but he’d managed to give Danny the slip. Jake knew Danny’s skills; that would be almost impossible to do alone. But if he’d managed to make contact with his partner….

Jake ducked into the nearest alley and transformed, heading straight for the shop. Whether or not Danny was right, whether or not the Ninja was right, they needed to figure this out. He was the American Dragon. He couldn’t keep dragging his feet like this. Angry as his mom had been, she might even ask Haley to help him on this. (Unfortunately, Jake knew that if Haley had already been helping him, the mess at the show wouldn’t have happened. She wouldn’t have had any trouble sneaking in to go warn their mom about the danger. She was too cute for people to suspect her. It was really annoying.)

He was barely through the back door of the shop when his cell phone was ringing again. “Did you get lost?” he asked, knowing it was going to be Danny.

“Please tell me you have a cousin in town or something.”

“Uh….”

“Crud. I should’ve known. Just grab Fu and Gramps and get down here as fast as you can. Don’t, uh, worry about being inconspicuous. You can’t make things worse.”

Danny hung up before Jake could ask for details.

Fu brushed the chip crumbs from his chest and pushed away the book he’d been reading. “You and Phantom walk into some planned catastrophe?”

Jake wasn’t even sure where to start. “Yo, we need to get down to the gala Mom’s catering. Like, now. Something happened. I’ll fill in you and G on the rest of the stuff on the way.”

Fu stared at him. “Kid—”

“I’m gonna call Haley to be on standby.” He hated that he was doing this, but he had some idea of what Danny had been through, and his idea of bad…. “Grab that old book on the Miraculous and bring it.”

“Jake? What is going on?”

He hadn’t even noticed Gramps appear in the back of the store. “Something…bad,” he said. “I don’t—”

His cell phone rang again.

Jake answered it without even looking. “Yo, can you spill a few—?”

“Turn on the news, Jakey.”

He blinked. “Trixie?” He’d been expecting Danny again.

“News. Now. Like, any local channel.” And then she hung up.

And then he got a text from Spud. U want us on Rotwood duty?

Jake ran for the nearest functioning TV.

It didn’t take him long to find out what was up. It was on every channel. After all, it was hard to miss. There was a dragon circling above what remained of the crowd from the fashion show gala.

The camera cut to show the Ninja yelling up at the dragon, who paid him no mind.

“Aw, maaan.”

XXXXXXXXX

6:35 PM

Adrien was standing on the platform of the metro, waiting to transfer, when he heard about the dragon.

It started as a sudden exclamation by a young woman telling her friends. At first, he’d thought he’d misunderstood, but then he heard pieces of the story from other hushed—and not so hushed—conversations in the crowd. The ruined fashion show. The fire trucks and other emergency vehicles. The dragon that was surely the cause of it all.

Hawk Moth must have recalled Phantom’s akuma. He must have found someone else to transform, another soul to twist. Except….

Except Adrien had already seen a dragon, or thought he had, and hearing of one now was proof enough. He’d seen one when he’d been captured by Phantom. Which meant neither Phantom nor the dragon were the ones who had been originally akumatized; it was someone else, someone who had the ability to turn others into fairy tale creatures.

If Hawk Moth had wanted to cause chaos, this was surely the way to do it. Adrien had been able to defeat the Critic, would have managed it even without the Ninja’s help, but he couldn’t fight multiple battles on multiple fronts without Ladybug. He might be able to bring her back one akuma, if there were some way to capture and trap it, but not one for every magical creature Hawk Moth intended for him to face. He’d have to find the person who was transforming everyone, and he wouldn’t have a chance to do that until they showed their hand.

Unless they already had.

Ninjas didn’t really count as fairy tale creatures, but they were steeped in legend. The Ninja hadn’t seemed like a bad person, but he might not even realize what he’d gotten into. Hawk Moth gave some of his victims more autonomy than others, and if the Ninja didn’t even realize he was creating monsters to fight—

No. The Ninja had made no move to get his Miraculous, and even if Hawk Moth had assumed Ladybug and Chat Noir had been left behind in Paris, he’d be quick to make that correction. Especially when Ladybug wasn’t here. Hawk Moth might not care about the damage he left behind, but Adrien certainly did, and he suspected Hawk Moth knew that.

If Hawk Moth didn’t want him, hadn’t counted on him or Ladybug being here, then he wanted something else. Other Miraculous, perhaps. There must be more. He’d think that’s what the Ninja had if his costume had made some sort of reference to an animal. Plagg thought other magic was at play, but if it was, how had Hawk Moth found out about it? He knew about the Miraculous, certainly knew more about the Miraculous than Adrien did, so maybe that’s all it was. Maybe he didn’t know about the other magic here, whatever form that magic took. And if there was another Miraculous in New York City—

He couldn’t be sure. Not yet. He’d find out more when he fought to protect the city from the dragon. If he was lucky, the dragon would be as talkative as Phantom had been. And if he was really lucky, the Ninja would turn up again to help him.

Adrien checked the time. His train wasn’t due for at least another minute, and there was an attack happening now. He could travel much faster as Chat Noir than as Adrien. He didn’t know this city from above, but he knew where he was, and he knew where he was going. That would have to be enough.

Adrien slipped away in search of a place to transform and hoped he’d get there before too much damage was done.

XXXXXXX

6:41 PM

There was so much fire.

Randy heaved another Ninja Hydro Hand at the flames licking the pavement and was rewarded with a curtain of steam. (How could stone burn, anyway? That was wonk. What kind of magic was this?) He knew he wasn’t out of Ninja Cold Balls yet, but his supply had to be running low.

The smart people in the crowd had run screaming. Too many of them had lagged behind, thinking this was some kind of show. Because fire-breathing dragons were always part of some kind of show. And anyone who could afford to buy something at a fashion show like this had a lot of money, so the people putting on this show had a lot of money, and cool pyrotechnics were almost expected these days.

…Or did people just attend these things and not actually buy something? He really had no idea.

The dragon overhead swooped low, dodged with unfair ease the Ninja Electro-Ball he threw at her (it?), and sent a blaze of fire between him and the crowd, pushing them back.

Randy groaned.

He hadn’t looked closely recently, being too busy dealing with the dragon, but he was pretty sure some of the flashing lights he could still see belonged to firetrucks. He was also pretty sure the firefighters hadn’t just abandoned their jobs to gawk at the dragon, gawk-worthy as she clearly was.

But he was the Ninja.

Fighting a dragon.

In a place where crazy stunts were more the norm than actual magic.

He had no idea what it would take to convince people that this wasn’t a setup and that they were actually in danger. Then again, the dragon hadn’t targeted them specifically. Driven them back, yes, but she hadn’t pulled any shoob move that would’ve resulted in some extra-crispy attendees. She hadn’t gone after any of the vehicles, trying to make something explode or cause more damage. She hadn’t even really done much to the building. She’d mostly just cleared the area in front and, well, focused on him. Which, despite totally being his plan when he’d run after her, was…odd, now that he thought about it.

He went through the motions, calling up another Ninja Hydro Hand, and glanced up.

She was flying lazy circles overhead, expertly avoiding buildings but still managing to catch updrafts when she needed them. She flew like she was an expert at it, like she’d studied it all her life or had a natural skill for aerodynamics. Maybe she studied birds in her free time or something.

She was watching him, her eyes never seeming to flick away from his figure, as if she had some kind of sixth sense and didn’t even need to watch where she was going.

He doused the flames.

She dove.

He tossed a Ninja Bee Ball at her before remembering that their stingers probably wouldn’t pierce dragon hide, and she set the stone on fire again.

He was hot enough that he was seriously debating the merits of using a Ninja Cold Ball on himself, but at least the mask—or maybe its magic—helped him to withstand all the smoke.

“What do you want?” he yelled at her. She’d flown up out of range of anything he could throw at her—again—and had resumed watching him. Maybe she was just trying to wear him out. Maybe he shouldn’t keep putting out the fire. Except then there would be fire, and that would be bad.

At least, when he was fighting robots or monsters, he knew what they wanted. How was he supposed to stop a fire-breathing dragon who didn’t seem to have any kind of goal beyond playing with him until he dropped to the ground out of sheer exhaustion? She hadn’t said anything. He didn’t know if she could even speak or if she’d just spout unintelligible monster gibberish. He’d only heard her roar, which in retrospect had served well when it came to scaring half the crowd away.

He wished it had scared the whole crowd away.

Seriously, people in the place needed to learn when to run.

He wished the Am Drag would come back. This dragon was bigger than the Am Drag, but he could at least fly and catch her. Alternatively, Randy wouldn’t mind Chat Noir turning up again. He could clearly get some good height with his baton stick thing, providing he’d managed to find it wherever Randy had dropped it, and if they worked together, they could totally take this dragon down. He seemed to have some idea of what the whole evil butterfly thing was, too.

Honestly, though, Randy would settle for Mr. Mysterious Voice finally showing up.

Randy didn’t realize he’d gone back to staring at the flames until they were suddenly covered in ice and then gone altogether. He blinked, wondering if he’d thrown a Ninja Cold Ball and somehow immediately forgotten about it.

“Ninja, we need to talk,” a familiar voice said from behind him, and Randy turned.

The voice in question belonged to a teenager (just like him) who didn’t seem to be holding any weapons (just like him) but whose suit was definitely wonk, even by Randy’s standards. The white hair was kinda distinctive, too, and he wasn’t wearing a mask, but maybe secret identities weren’t as much of a thing in the NYC because of all the people.

Randy pointed upwards. “Dragon.”

The boy rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I got that. I wanna know what else you know. Like why there’s a dragon.”

Randy stared. “You don’t find a dragon weird? I mean, that’s a real, actual, live, fire-breathing dragon. Emphasis on fire-breathing.”

The boy looked up and considered the dragon for a moment, who miraculously hadn’t decided to dive again and try to fry them both where they stood. Randy decided not to question his spot of good luck. “Yeah,” the boy finally said, “I guess you’re right about the living part. Unfortunately.”

“Wh…how…what? Why is that the part you’re questioning?” His voice did not climb when he said that. Howard did not have it recorded, so it didn’t happen. “I saw a woman get turned into a dragon!”

“A woman, huh?” The boy bit his lip and glanced toward the crowd. As if they were the problem and not the dragon. “Yeah, that’s kinda what I was afraid of. Um. Let’s talk inside.” He made a vague gesture toward the building.

Since Randy had a mask over his face, the other boy couldn’t appreciate his gaping. “I’m in the middle of a fight!”

The boy shook his head. “You’re not fighting. You’re being tested. I was watching. The dragon’s never gone for the crowd, just made you think that so you’d react. She wants to know what you can do.”

Randy crossed his arms. “So why’s she not testing you?”

The boy looked up at her again. “Maybe because she already knows what I can do?” he offered, though his words were full of enough doubt that Randy was entirely unconvinced. “This isn’t my first time in the city, and I think…. I think I know who she is, and the whole dragon thing isn’t normal for her.” He said that like it was normal for anybody, but if Randy asked, it would just delay the fight for longer. And the dragon was still watching them. Waiting. He didn’t like counting on the fact that she’d keep waiting. The moment he did that was the moment she’d stop and decide to move. And then it really would be a fight, even if Mr. Mysterious Voice didn’t think it had been before now. (What kind of shoob stood back to watch a dragon when he could clearly help fight it because he also could do stuff with ice?)

“We need to help her,” the boy continued. He looked back at Randy. “Seriously, can we just talk inside or otherwise away from the cameras for, like, two minutes? I really don’t want my face plastered all over the news if I can help it.”

He was not going to give up on the talking thing, was he? Randy scrubbed a hand over his face. “I can’t believe we’re getting away with this,” he muttered, but he followed the new kid and ran for cover.

XXXXXX

6:45 PM

The darkened suite of his hotel room was quiet, safely away from the chaos of the gala for all that it was so near, but Gabriel had still expected to be able to hear screams from across the street, to hear the wailing sirens and the dragon’s roar and the shouts of the failing heroes. Instead, the silence began to stretch, as if everyone were waiting.

When a second hero had run out to join the first, he hadn’t questioned Dracona’s decision to wait. He had not seen if this new hero had come with hidden friends; neither had she. When she’d decided to tilt her wings and circle again, he’d thought her reconnaissance a wise move. But then she’d let the Ninja and the new hero run off to the relative safety of the evacuated site of the gala, and her only response had been to bank right, beat her wings a few times, and circle again.

“Why are you not pursuing them, Dracona?” Gabriel growled, clenching his cane tighter. The Ninja had shown more of his hand, but the newest hero…. Gabriel knew nothing of him, aside from his ability to spread ice in a speed and volume great enough to counter Dracona’s flames.

“You wanted information about this city’s superheroes.” He could sense laughter in her response. “I’ve gotten a good look at the Ninja and have run into Phantom before. Neither belongs in this city.”

Gabriel let out a slow breath. “Where they belong doesn’t matter. They are acting as heroes—”

“Where they belong matters immensely. You only wanted information on this city’s heroes.”

“They are fighting in this city,” he answered through gritted teeth. “However temporarily, that makes them this city’s heroes.”

“I don’t agree. Their loyalty remains elsewhere. Help though they may, the responsibility of the NYC falls on the shoulders of other heroes.”

He should have her writhing in pain for even thinking of speaking to him this way, but she’d be more useful to him if he delayed that method until further pressed. After all, if she still gave him the information he wanted…. “You said you are familiar with this Phantom. Tell me about him.”

“His chosen name is rather explanatory.”

Then again, if she continued to be difficult, he just needed to—

Gabriel frowned. There was no disruption in their connection, but his displeasure wasn’t being translated into pain. Instead, he felt laughter, as if she knew precisely what he’d tried to do, and—

“You unlocked my power,” she breathed, “but you do not control it.”

And then there was nothing. No sensations, no feedback, no knowledge of Dracona’s that he could use to further his plan. She was his champion, but she had somehow managed to shut him out.

“Dark wings fall.” Something was wrong, something was faulty, something was— “Nooroo, why is this happening?”

The kwami ducked his head. “She is right, master,” he murmured. “My magic only served as a key for her latent power.”

“Then we’ll lock it up again,” Gabriel snarled. He had read of many types of magic, but none that would cause a reaction such as this. “We’ll see how bold she is once my akuma is recalled.”

“I don’t think it’s that simple, master.”

Gabriel bit down on the urge to restrict Nooroo’s speech; right now, Nooroo was the only source of information he had. “And why do you say that?”

“I…I don’t know if I can contain her magic with mine now that the path is established.”

“Her magic.” Nooroo would know he was asking for details. The kwami would also know how displeased he’d be if he wasn’t given them.

“It’s a blood magic, not something that can be taken a—”

“But something that can be used?”

Nooroo hesitated.

That was all the answer Gabriel needed.

The means might be more complicated, but he had need of magic, and if he’d happened to akumatize someone with a direct line to that magic, he’d be a fool not to capitalize upon it. She might not want to give him the information he required, but she’d agreed to the contract, and she couldn’t shut him out forever. She had to tell him something.

Even if it was only about herself.

(see more fics | next)

[voracious-pumpkira-starr]

VORE COMMUNITY PSA

False information was spread about me with very little truth. While some is truth, others are either taken from untrustworthy sources or were said by people whom are enemies i made in the past to make me more hated. I dont know if all of you know the post im refering to, i wont link it here but it has been causing me a lot if stress

Now I’m not going to deny some parts of the post because they are factual. But other parts are false. I havent blackmailed people for roleplay, and I dont charge back payments. The charging back of commissioned artwork is only from the artists point of view. And even then its heavily exxagerated. What happened was I spent too much money on porn commissions using a family members credit card on my own paypal, i paid this family member to do this of course bit they didnt know what i was buying. After i spent over $1000 CAD they realized I was spending it on porn and called paypal to charge it back. Paypal charged it back. I tried and tried to get paypal to send the money back but they locked me out of the account and the family member refused to let me send the money to them. Since then I was only able to pay back one artist of many, its not just artists. Paypal took back all payments and I even lost some of my art programs such as Clip studio EX because of this. Ive also lost many mobile apps and more. This caused me a lot of stress and I wasn’t allowed to use a credit card for a long time. Now, You know who. A certain artist who made these claims. Yes I admit I tried to roleplay with them but I will be honest. This is a honest statement from my own mouth. There is many many people in the community who KNOW I’m sumlur and are of age who roleplay with me and I wont name them to keep them same from harassment. Im not innocent but neither are the people like YOU who spread this information. And I will send you this post privately. Yes it is not my place to be in the vore community but because I have it helped with my depression and I learned many things that made me better as a person. I know my mistakes and I understand even when 2021 comes I will be hated in the community or even not let back in at all. But all I’m going to say. Is that yes I was immature and regret a lot of my decisions. But i stopped ban evading and all that long ago. It is now 3 years since this ekas portal drama has started with me, I, because of outdated or false information spread by you and many others have been Doxxed and had my info leaked on 8chan by a user named cloud runner teeny on 12/24/2018. Its been over a year since i was doxxed and I have been struggiling with depression and at multiple times even was suicidal. I nearly killed myself on lean (purple drank). Im not asking for pity because we both know I did aome messed up shit but making a PSA about me and spreading things from your point of view is only half the story. Many people have harassed my social media because of this or even turned me into a laughing stock. So here, if it makes you happy Cham. I’ll make a statement right here right now publically for all to see. If i lose friends for this then whatever it is what it is. It took me a lot of guts and a long time to say this but the stress has gotten to much for me. for the sake of peace I’ll admit to everything Chammy was correct about me ane everything that was false along with some misconceptions about me: so firstly Chammy is right about my age. My birthday is 01/30/2003. I am nearly 17 years old. Chammy is also correct about me asking him for roleplay stuff. However many adults i know who know my age are fine roleplaying with me and I will make this very clear for all of tumblr and the world. Yes I know the underage law and why you think you would be at risk of becoming a sex offender. But hear me out, I’ve actually talked to online lawyers about this and there was never a statement in US Federal law about roleplaying with minors being wrong. The only thing that is bad is if your doing it with malicious intent or send real nudes. As for the age of consent, that is 16 and as far as I know you can legally have sex with anyone within 5 years apart from you as long as its not recorded at that age. So I would assume roleplay would be legal unless its recorded or screenshotted just the same. So yes although it might be risky there is almost a 100% gaurentee your not at risk unless you go bragging about it or the minors parents

Report you. And I don’t have parents, my birth parents abandoned me for a life of crime and my grandparents had custody over me since i was 2 years old. My grandparents know about my vore fetish and although they think its weird they are fine with it to some extent. I can assure you for a fact they won’t report you unless your asking me for literal nudes, which I’d never even give away. Secondly I wanted to bring up the fact I did NOT try to sneak into Cham’s server I was asking if somebody could vouch to let me in so at 18 my friend Andy (WHO KNOWS MY AGE) could vouch for me since he/you closed all invites because of people insulting male predators.

Nextly I want to say this, Chameleonette is not a bad person. They aren’t spreading lies about me on purpose they are only saying what they were told which was spread around by many people who hate me such as aljenserp, AlluringPredation, Reffles, Cloudrunnerteeny, and artists who think i charged back on purpose. Now I also want to bring up the accusations of blackmailing adults who roleplayed with me. This is false, the only adults i ever blackmailed where ones who knew my age and asked for nudes, or were ACTUAL MINORS pretending to be adults which i know for fact.

Now I will admit I exposed some of these friends as minors out of anger and lost friends for this. I regret this so i wont say which ones, But I blackmailed them about exposing their age for some fights in the past.

But I will also admit again I did some stupid shit in the past and I understand the hate I have but its been causing me lots of stress and Harassment on social media. Look cham, if you actually take the time to read this I’m sorry for everything ive done to you and the vore community but I want to say that the adults arent entirely innocent either. I caused these problems by lying about my age, joining ekas, ban evading, manipulating people, and buying art when I shouldnt have. All of it has come back to bite me in the ass. Combined with the stress from real life I couldn’t take things anymore and essentially ruined my life. As of now I dropped out of highschool because the stress was too much and couldn’t work anymore. Now I’m educationless and most likely won’t get a job. For those who are curious in one year and 29 days is when I will be 18. And if any of my friends whom dont know my age read this I want to say I’m sorry for lying. I strongly have issues and am really clingy to people I like so I end up lying to make friends. And i know many people are going to block me for this so in turn I will end up more stressed but its the most mature thing i could think to do. I would love it if nobody blocked me and we just talked like friends and save the vore stuff for when I’m 18, which I do with many of my friends already. As stated before the whole reason i joined ekas in the first place was to join a community i felt like i fit in with after getting depression from losing a friend i really cared about named anatoily

Many times in the past i used anatoily as an excuse for my actions but thats not what im doing. Anatoily if you see this i want to know im sorry for using your name as an excuse for my wrong actions. I originally joined Ekas for that purpose and used that as an excuse, on there i made many friends some of which i have even today. At one point i planned on leaving ekas but then I found somebody who reminded me of anatoily. I had an obsession with them and it led me to well ruin that friendship. Around this time i was exposed underage by Reffles on a minecraft server who had a incorectly dated birth date from a Enjin server about me claiming i was 14 when i was 15 which now i am 16 turning 17 and that link would display 15 turning 16. To explain this I want to say when I made this enjin account I mistyped the age and never bothered fixing it because I rarely used Enjin. I just used it to apply for minecraft admin positions.

I regret many of the things ive done and cant stress this enough that I’m sorry but in all honesty this is the true story of what happened with me and the vore community

In 2017 I joined ekas because my mind didn’t care about the consequences I was upset about anatoily, which isnt an excuse for my actions. I lied about my age and all was fine i was getting away with it. I met the person who reminded me of anatoily in February of 2018 whom helped me grow as an artist. I started working as a artist practicing for when I’m 18. When reffles found me out i was upset and was banned from ekas and the discord Work to Feed. I was upset for many reasons, one even being that i just got the first person ever to commission me and even today was never able to do the art or send it to them making me feel like a thief

So a lot of ban evading and ruined friendships later some problems happened with me and a friend named Aljenserp who like me was a minor. I was watching one of Silent_E’s streams and got banned because Tyrion13 recognized me. I betrayed Aljenserp like an asshole saying he was underage (i dont think he is underage anymore but he was at the time this happened) because he was a staff nobody believed me and i was banned from the stream and lost all trust aljenserp had in me. He became my enemy. Now after this a lot of people started hating me more and more, there was some drama on 8chan about me which i posted on being some idiot as i was younger and didnt know what i was doing.

This caused many people to not even feel any pity for me thinking i was stupid and deserved what i got. This was shortly before the problem happened with paypal. After that i was hated immensely more and many people startee saying some stupid rumors about me

One really dumb one was from the ekas user ExplosiveWaifu who has a Dragon OC named Lydia. Goes by DragonWaifu on discord. In one instance i was talking to Lydia about how one of my friends was a Maoist communist and his beliefs and how i support him because he is my friend. She believed because he had communist beliefs and i supported him that i was a terrorist and ceased all Communication with me for this. Another false rumor about me was spreaded by a friend of Explosivewaifu who i cant name as they are always changing their name. she is a trans woman, me and her used to talk a lot and whenever she got drunk she would well... be really irl lewd with me so i started calling her a pedophille (which is where the blackmail stuff ties in partially though i didnt blackmail her it was somebody else)

Many times this friend while sober would claim that i act to mature and that I couldnt be a minor, thus a rumor spread around that inwas a adult pretending to be a minor to get kicked out of the community for purposfully causing drama to make people think im a believable minor so i could easily prey on minors like a pedophille... honestly this is a really dumb rumor and dunno why it was believed by anybody at all

Next I want to talk about the ID theft accusations. Mettra Tonic gave me a health band from the hospital which in July of 2018 i tried to use as a ID to get me unbanned and it failed, this led to trust issues with Mettra who also spread false information about me which is mostly well known for the accusations of blackmail against her friends who were minors. There was another ID issue with a man named worthylightning and Kobayashi whom I tried to. Let them both help me get unbanned because friendship. It didnt work and i felt bad.

Lastly the only true case of ID theft is the one with reffles. Reffles gave somebody her ID who gave me the ID and I cropped out the age part of her ID and tried to use it. I since regret this action but i wouldnt concider the age part alone to be ID theft.

There was also accusations that I steal artwork which i dont own which is false. All artwork of Pumpkira is owned by me, either drawn by me, won in a raffle, requested, or given to me as a gift.

Moving on later in the year CloudRunnerTeeny doxxed me and made a group on discord called the Sumlur eradication squad where he blackmailed me and threatened to leak my info (which he did on christmas onto 8chan before it was taken down for breaking ToS) me and my friend tried to mislead him do he wouldnt Dox me and dox a fake person but this failed, made things worse infact. After that me and teeny came to a truce to leave eachother alone if i stay away from him and his friends. A promise I Semi-kept to today.

I already explained the whole issue with the art charged back, false rumors, and blackmail.

But I want to say this. Please stop sending information that is outdated or just speculation about me. Hear both sides of the story.

And yes when I turn 18 in 2021 I know I’ll still be hated and I have come to terms and accept that is my punishment for my mistakes. But please stop sending drama my way as I am very tempted to just delete all my social media at this point. Its gotten really stressful and I just cant...

Also Chammy again you aren’t a bad person i dont blame you for my hate as Its deserved. Although some of your claims were wrong or from your point of view, others were true and It is good you made a statement about me. But please tell people not to harass me and just block me. I’m going to make this post Private for a while before making it public. I want you to read this before it goes public on my Tumblr.

Lastly I heard you were feeling sick and hope you get better.

From artist to artist I have been improving my art and stories which like you one thing i hope for when im 18 is to be a successful artist or writer. Im already planning a large scale SFW webcomic as many people know. Though I feel like it is going to have a negative impact because Pumpkira is the protagonist and i gaurentee at least one person from the vore community would expost past me to everyone who reads future me’s work

Anyways thats all.

Update 2020: now 17

Update: 2021 now 18 as of January 30th 2021

[agentunwin]

ROSES & CLOVER [FREAK WEEK: DAY 1]

In which the man in the corner with the hands full of sand promises Shawn everything he’s ever wanted, but he gets more than he bargained for.

— A/N: ok i actually kind of hate this bc its not how i really wanted it to turn out but ive been wanting to write this prompt for a long time so here you go happy first day of freak week. This is the first kinda supernatural story for the week :)

— WORDS: 4.5k

— WARNINGS: Angst, cursing, violence, evil!reader(?)

-

Hey, I can't come to the phone right now, but leave a message and I'll try to reach you as fast as I can!

That voicemail. That fucking voicemail.

Shawn was sure that if he had to hear Brian's voice like that one more time, he'd rip his own hair out.

The lonesome boy sighed deeply and rolled over in his bed, setting his phone on his nightstand after his many attempts of contacting his best friend. Pulling his covers further up on his body, he focused his eyes on the ceiling and bit his lip, thinking about nothing and everything all at once.

On nights like these, Shawn hated being alone.

On nights like these, he hated how the stairs of his cold home would creak every time a gust of wind blew by. He hated hearing the sounds of crickets outside, and he absolutely hated the voices inside of his head, screaming at him and clouding his thoughts.

On nights like these, sleep was impossible to get when his mind was moving at incredible speeds- So fast that he couldn't even keep up with his own thoughts.

On nights like these, when he had nobody or nothing to look forward to, he almost always found solace in the tall man in the corner of his room.

The first night he noticed the sand, he didn't think much of it. It was a mere sprinkle on his flooring that he effortlessly swept to the side, the specks settling between the cracks of the hardwood panels. The second night, the sprinkles of sand were more prominent- Spread across his floor once again, and even partially on his bed.

On the third night, footprints made of sand led him to the man.

His figure was giant, towering over Shawn by at least two feet. His long, crooked fingers dripped with the same substance that had trailed throughout the bedroom, which was then pooling around his dress-shoe clad feet. His face was practically impossible to make out, dripping with the sand as well. He said absolutely nothing; only kept staring forward.

The man introduced himself as the Sandman.

Yet for some reason, Shawn wasn't scared.

The two merely coexisted for a long time. Every time Shawn would come home from a hard day at his office, the man was there. He never left the bedroom and sometimes Shawn felt himself questioning whether or not the figure was real, but he knew that it was. He could feel the warmth radiating from the man, he could feel the sand between his toes with every careful step his bare feet took, and eventually, he could feel the grit on his eyes as they fluttered open each morning.

The sand in his eyes was new. It started when one night, the man spoke. His voice wasn't projected aloud, but was rather reverberated within Shawn's chest, low and raspy with every word. He told Shawn that if he trusted him, he could make all of his dreams come true within the night. He told Shawn that all he had to do was give in to him, and he would work his magic. He told Shawn that he could take him anywhere or give him anything he'd ever wanted, and it didn't take much to convince the boy.

The man watched that night as Shawn carried out his normal nightly routine. He'd check his phone which never had any messages to convey, he'd brush his teeth and curse at himself for the bags underneath his eyes, he'd strip down to his underwear, he'd turn off his bedside lamp, and finally, he'd settle underneath the covers. However, this time, he didn't fall asleep. No- He was merely lying in bed, body unmoving as he waited for something to happen.

It was a silent agreement between the two. Shawn didn't know why, but he trusted the man, and for the first time, he allowed the man in.

His eyelids squeezed tighter when he felt the sand sprinkling over his eyes but had no time to dwell on the icky feeling before he finally understood. This was what the man had been wanting to show Shawn for so long.

His body was at ease and his eyes moved rapidly behind his eyelids as he was transported to a beautiful world. One where Shawn was on stage, living his dream life instead of working at his boring office job. One where he could do anything he'd ever wanted to do. With this man, he could live out any dreams he wanted. All he had to do was say the word, and he was there.

Sometimes, he chose to be a millionaire. Other times he imagined himself throwing coffee into his boss' face as he so wanted to do in real life. He ate all of the wonderful foods he'd never gotten to try, and one time he stood on the very tip of Mount Everest, breathing in deeply and allowing the crisp, cold air to hit his lungs.

Everything felt so real, and from that point on, Shawn took great advantage of the new ability he was given.

So much so, that others around him began to notice something peculiar. Though Shawn wasn't normally the most outgoing person to begin with, his friends quickly came to realize that he was closing himself off more than usual. He refused to go out to the local bar with them on multiple occasions, which was completely out of his character. On the contrary, however, he seemed happier than ever. He walked into work every day with a smile on his lips and a pep in his step, leaving out the exact same way.

At first, they let it go, figuring that he must have found a special someone who was occupying his time. In a way, that was true. He'd finally found someone that made him truly happy and that he never wanted to leave.

So he didn't.

Over the passing two months, Shawn's obsession with the man in the corner only deepened, and though he never spoke about the man to anyone, it was evident to everyone that something was truly wrong. He'd stopped coming to work, opting for sleep instead where he could be enveloped by his altered reality. When he wasn't sleeping, he was eating, with no in-between. His scruff had grown exponentially and his apartment was a wreck, but none of this mattered to him.

With a world of endless possibilities at his fingertips, he no longer needed to live in the real world.

But, eventually, Shawn began to grow bored. He'd done everything in his dream world that he'd wanted to do. He'd flown by the wings on his back, he'd walked on clouds, he'd performed his original songs in front of millions, and much, much more. He was running out of ideas, and that worried the man in the corner.

And even more to the man's dismay, an intervention was staged. It was 3:00 in the afternoon when he was awoken from his dream world by a pounding on his front door. A loud groan left his lips as he lifted his arms to wipe his eyes of the sand, making sure there was no residue for when he eventually opened his eyes completely. With a heavy sigh, he swung his legs over the edge of the bed, ignoring the man as he slammed his bedroom door shut and went to open the door.

When he opened it, he was surprised to see his friends and family standing around, disappointment written all over their faces. Shawn knew that there was no way out of this this time.

He led the group into his living room littered with grime, empty pizza boxes, and piles of unpaid bills, making sure nobody took a single step towards his bedroom.

After a few breakdowns, a few confessions, an agreement, and a few trips to the doctor, Shawn was diagnosed with delirium. But, even through all of this, he never once let the Sandman's name fall from his lips. He could never let anyone know.

No matter how much medication Shawn took, the man would always be there, and this bothered Shawn. He wanted to get better for his family, friends, and himself. He wanted to stop living in his fake world and get back to what really mattered. He wanted to live again, and this angered the man more than anything.

Shawn's heart was heavy as his eyes bore up at the ceiling one night. His breath was steady as his mind wracked with thoughts of what the next day would bring. He had a meeting at 9a.m., then lunch, then he had to pick up clothes from the cleaners, and much, much more. He was busier nowadays, but that didn't necessarily bother him.

It did bother the man, however.

For the first time in nearly two weeks, he felt the thundering of the man's voice in his chest again. Shawn rolled his eyes, flipping over in his bed and pulling the covers up over his head as if it would help block out the voice.

The man was spewing his usual bullshit. He continued to promise Shawn a life beyond, a land of wonderful things, but Shawn had heard it all before- Seen it all before, and there was nothing the man could say to convince him to go back.

Or so he thought, before the Sandman posed Shawn a question.

What is it you truly want in life? He asked, the inquiry resonating through Shawn's mind.

In that moment, he wasn't sure. Part of himself was ashamed for even entertaining the man's words, though he couldn't help but be intrigued. As he was getting his life back together, there wasn't much he could wish for except for the one thing he'd never really gotten to experience.

"I-" Shawn began, biting down on his lip as he contemplated answering at all, "I want love. I've never been in a steady relationship before. I want to experience it."

So the man promised him love. He promised that if Shawn came back for just one more visit, he could give him exactly what he wanted, and then, the Sandman would disappear forever.

And Shawn caved.

Mr.Sandman, bring me a dream, make her the cutest that I've ever seen.

Give her two lips like roses and clover, and tell her that her lonely nights are over.

Sandman, I'm so alone, don't have nobody to call my own.

Please turn on your magic beam, Mr.Sandman bring me a dream.

That night, he went back to the man he'd been avoiding. He indulged; allowed himself to travel back to that dream land where everything was perfect. And all through the night, he searched for the woman he'd longed for- That he was promised.

But he never found her, and when he woke up that morning to give the man a piece of his mind, he was gone, just as he said he would be. Not a single trace of sand could be found in the room and it almost felt empty without his constant presence in the corner. Shawn groaned and rubbed his hands over his face, annoyed by the false promise he'd been dealt, but happy all the same that the man was finally gone.

Now, it was really time to start his life again.

Shawn was finding it hard to keep his balance as he rushed up the empty stairwell of his office building, heart pounding in his chest with only a few minutes left. This meeting was more important than any one so far and if he missed it, he could consider himself a goner. Once he reached his desired floor, his vision was tunneled to the room he needed to get to, already seeing the last of the people flood in.

He grit his teeth and began moving faster down the hallway, eyebrows knitted deeply in concentration. Everyone seemed to notice his urgency and moved out of the way to avoid being hit, but unfortunately, the woman at the end of the hall didn't.

She was looking through her files for the days meeting and within a split second she was on the ground, Shawn sprawled out on the carpet next to her. He groaned and cursed at himself as she shoved himself up to his knees, beginning to pick up what the woman had dropped.

"I-I'm so sorry, I should've been looking where I was going, I was just in a rush." Shawn muttered, breath hitching in his throat at the sight of her.

She was stunning. Her plump lips curved into a tiny grin upon noticing his staring, shaking her head while picking up the last of her files.

"It's alright. Are you here for the campaign meeting with Phero Records?" The woman asked, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear and rising to her feet.

Shawn did the same, getting up and rubbing at the back of his neck, seemingly forgetting the panic he was in a mere few seconds ago. "Uh- Yeah! Are you?"

She hummed and nodded happily, holding her belongings closer to her chest. "Yes! I work for Phero."

Shawn was elated at this news, biting his lip to stifle his grin. He was never one to be so direct, but her beauty had completely captivated him, and he knew that if he didn't make some sort of move now, he never would.

"Well we should probably get going, but I have to pick up lunch after this," He began, a hopeful look on his face, "Would you like to come with me, maybe grab a bite to eat?"

She snorted at this cliche line, cocking her head to the side. "Maybe if I knew your name, stranger."

Shawn's eyes went wide in realization as he stuttered out, "O-Oh, right! My name is Shawn, Shawn Mendes, what's yours?"

Her eyes flickered down to the hand that he held out to her, taking it and gently shaking with a smirk. "Y/N. Sounds like a plan."

-

Things couldn't be going better for Shawn. A month after the two had first met they'd gone steady and spent nearly every waking moment together. He was sure she was the one for him and he told this to everyone around him, his family especially happy to see him doing well again.

But that got him thinking.

Y/N's back was against his chest, their steady breathing matching as Shawn's fingers went to fiddle with hers, television playing some silly romcom that they'd decided on an hour earlier.

"Hey, Y/N?" Shawn muttered, heart warming as he felt her shift to look up at him in curiosity. "I was just thinking, we've been dating for a while.. Don't you think it's time to meet my family?"

The flinch she had in response to his question certainly didn't go unnoticed. It seemed her entire demeanor had changed as her eyes went wide and she turned in his grip to face him, shock written over her features.

"W-We've only been dating for like, two months, Shawn." She stuttered out, shaking her head fervently. "Don't you think it's a little early for that?"

Shawn was obviously taken aback by her sudden outbreak, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion while he brought a hand up to her face. "I mean- Maybe? I dunno, I was just thinking." His thumb moved to swipe over her quivering lip, his heart beating faster in his chest at her sudden panic. "Baby, what's wrong?"

She took a deep breath and gulped, looking down at her lap. "I'm just not ready for that, that's a big step, you know?"

Shawn bit his lip and nodded in understanding, yet it was clear that he wasn't completely buying it. Still, he allowed the conversation to fizzle out, bringing her head down to his chest as they got situated on the couch again. The T.V. was turned off and the two found their rhythm of breath against one another as they always did, and as Shawn felt himself begin to drift off, an usual feeling of uncertainty settled in his chest.

-

Shawn sat back boredly in his seat, his friends' banter drowning out as he lazily waved his straw around in his glass. His eyes were glued to the amber liquid he had yet to touch, the loud club music pounding in his mind. Before, this used to be his favorite scene, but nowadays, he'd much rather be spending this time with Y/N in the quiet of his home.

"Dude, what's wrong with you?" Brian bumped Shawn's shoulder with his own, finally breaking the man from his trance. Shawn's eyes snapped up to meet his friends' gazes in the small booth, all waiting expectantly for his answer. All he granted them was a lousy shrug.

"He probably just misses his girl." Jon teased, bringing his own glass up to his lips.

"When are we gonna meet her, anyway?" Brian asked, a smirk plastered to his face. "What's it been, four months? Why don't you ever bring her around?"

Shawn sighed and shifted in his seat, propping his right hand underneath his chin. "I dunno man, she's weird about meeting other people in my life. I think she gets nervous and I don't want to push her."

His friends all around the table snickered, all thinking the same thing that nobody had the courage to say until, of course, Brian opened his mouth again.

"I dunno, Shawn." He chuckled, raising his eyebrows suggestively. "I'm starting to think you've been lying to us and there is no Y/N."

"What?" Shawn seethed, suddenly sitting straighter in his seat. "She's real, bro, she's just not the most social person ever."

Jon interjected with a query of his own, "Didn't you say she's like a higher-up at another company? And doesn't that mean she has to talk to people all the time?"

"Well-"

"Just show us a picture and we'll believe you." One of Shawn's other friends simply suggested, and it was then that Shawn realized the severity of his situation.

"I um-" Shawn nibbled on his bottom lip, gaze faltering down to his lap, "I don't have one."

His friends collectively groaned and rolled their eyes, needing Shawn to say no more. They'd all come to the conclusion that he was faking and let it go, leaving Shawn to sulk in the corner of the booth while their words settled in his mind.

In all of the times he was with her, they never took pictures together, nor had he seen any of her before. They were always too busy with one another; too absorbed to even bother. But tonight, he was going to prove to the others that what they had was real.

With that in mind, Shawn excused himself from the table, shimmying out and ignoring his friends' calls as he bolted out of the club and into the cold, crisp air.

-

Shawn felt the tension leave his body when he opened the front door and saw her laying on his couch, a blanket barely draped over her sleeping body. He allowed himself to smile a bit at this and noticed how she was face-down, legs wildly slung all over. It must have been a hard day at work, Shawn thought, taking it upon himself to readjust the blanket over her.

His heart leapt in his chest as it always did when he saw her. He knelt down and moved a piece of stray strand of hair behind her ear, taking another second to admire her. Then, with a sigh, he pulled his phone from his pocket and opened the camera app.

Situating himself even closer to the couch, he made sure the flash was on before holding up the phone and smiling, snapping a quick picture and bringing his phone back down.

Shawn opened his camera roll, excitedly looking for the picture, yet when he clicked it, he swore his heart stopped beating.

There was nothing there. Nothing.

Not so much as a stray hair or a silhouette. There was nothing there.

His breathing got heavier while his mind wracked in confusion and he went back to the camera app, stumbling backwards and holding up his phone again. He pointed the phone right at her and watched as the flash illuminated the room for a split second before all went dark again. He ignored the small groans from the woman as she slowly awoke from the bright light, his fingers working quickly again to open his camera roll.

And once again, there was nothing but an empty spot where she laid.

His head felt as if it were being crushed as he tried to figure out what was happening. This had to be a joke, or maybe he was going crazy. He thought that there was some logical explanation, but as he stumbled even further back, his hand landed in something peculiarly familiar.

Shawn looked down to his left and noticed the sand between his fingertips, the grittiness digging into his skin. And then, he understood.

The Sandman had granted his wish.

"Shawn?" He heard Y/N's voice call as she sat up and rubbed at her tired eyes, "What are you doing home so early?"

Shawn whipped his head towards the woman, expression grim and twisted. He couldn't believe that through all the moments they'd shared together, none of them were real. She wasn't real.

He stood and looked at his bedroom door, a chill shooting down his spine. The man was in there, and Shawn knew it. He could feel it. He hopped to his feet and the look of panic on Y/N's face confirmed everything he needed to know.

"W-What are you doing?" She asked, stumbling up to her feet and reaching out to grab Shawn's arm to keep him from moving. This proved to be fruitless when he roughly shoved her backwards, forcing the girl back to the ground.

"Get the fuck away from me," He growled out, taking a few more steps towards the bedroom when he felt her nimble hands grab onto him once more.

"Shawn, stop!" She shrieked, blunt nails now digging into his skin. "What the fuck is wrong with you?!"

Once again, he refused to let her stop him. Shawn grabbed onto her arm and twisted it back, watching as she cried out and clawed at him in attempts to get him to let go. Eventually, he did, shoving her to the side once more. And once she was out of the way, there was only Shawn, the man, and the door that separated them.

His breathing stilled as his calloused hand went to grasp the doorknob, and when he pushed forward, he came face to face with none other than the Sandman.

He looked no different than he had the last time Shawn saw him, save for the now piles of sand that covered the bedroom. The man stood tall and said nothing as Shawn's jaw clenched and he tried to find the words to say.

"You fucking asshole!" He resorted to screaming, hands coming up to pound at the man's chest, tears welling in his eyes. "How could you do this to me?!"

I only gave you what you wished for, The Sandman replied, his gravelly voice sending vibrations through Shawn's chest as it used to.

"I didn't want this!" Shawn insisted, shaking his head rapidly. "I only wanted to dream of a girl, not for you to fuck with my mind and make me think that I had something real!"

He felt the familiar tug on his arm from Y/N who was now climbing back up to her feet, a look of defeat woven onto her face. She looked wrecked from Shawn's tossing and as much as he tried not to care, that love was still there, deep down inside.

"Who are you talking to?" She cried, biting down on her lip. "Baby, there's nobody there-"

"I know you're fake!" Shawn screamed, teeth gritting so hard he was sure they could crack. "Don't even try to-"

"SHAWN!" She interrupted, bringing a hand up to his cheek with furrowed eyebrows, "You haven't been taking your medication, please, you're seeing things! Please, come back to me.."

The way her voice fell off at the end of her sentence shattered his heart, along with the look of complete agony on her face. He'd never seen her so distraught and as if he hadn't just been screaming at the man a mere second ago, his anger suddenly fizzled, all of these emotions too much to handle.

He hadn't been taking his medication, that much was true, but right now, he couldn't tell reality from fantasy. Had he hallucinated the Sandman this entire time? Was she actually real? Was his mind playing tricks on him this whole time?

Shawn seemed to space out as he tried to make sense of everything and come to some kind of conclusion. Nothing made sense anymore, but when Y/N wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his neck, her hot tears hitting his skin, he knew that this was real. She was real.

He bit down on his bottom lip and sniffed a few times before nodding and giving into her and her comforting embrace. His own hands went to wrap around her waist, holding her even closer as he allowed his own tears to spill. He felt safe in her arms and he never wanted to let go.

"Thank you for coming back to me." She whispered, gently playing with the hair at the back of his neck. "I love you so much."

Shawn allowed himself to grin a bit and opened his mouth to speak, but something caught his attention. The man who once stood in the corner was now gone, taking any semblance of his presence with him.

Except for one thing.

Shawn's grin turned into a frown when he felt a sprinkle of something on his left arm, and when he shuffled backwards to look down at what had tickled his skin, his heart stopped for the final time that night.

Y/N was crumbling. Her face was stagnant as her hair fell to sand first, then her head, and the rest of her body followed. She blew away as if she was nothing, and that's exactly what she was; Nothing.

He couldn't move as he watched everything around him begin to crumble. The walls fell with the grit, revealing a barren desert. The floors beneath him turned to dust as he fell to his knees and witnessed what he had once called home be destroyed by none other than the Sandman's hand.

The destruction didn't cease until all that was left was Shawn and the desert before him.

This was just what the Sandman does. He preys on the weak-minded and vulnerable, filling their heads with promises and wonderful imaginations. He blurs the line between real and fake just to take it all back in the end, trapping his victims in an endless cycle of confusion and despair. There was no escape, and Shawn knew that much.

He was the Sandman's property, and he'd be doomed to that realm for eternity until eventually, he himself would fall to sand.

[video-killed-the-radio-host]

Heartbeats on the Airwaves chapter 5

As always, for @acealex-blueiguana

Cecil had to stay in the hospital for a week and a half, to make sure the wound healed properly and wasn’t infected. He slept a lot because the exhaustion of his job is finally catching up with his over worked body. Carlos spends a good chunk of his free time in Cecil’s room, making small talk, cuddling and exchanging small kisses.

They shared dinner most nights, unless Carlos got called away. Carlos managed to sneak away and picked up Chinese.  Now, Carlos sat cross legged and barefoot at the foot of Cecil’s bed, listening to Cecil go on about how much he hates his brother-in-law. Carlos smiles a little. This man was an absolute dork, but Carlos was completely smitten. He sets his chopsticks down in the container and then sets it aside, pulling Cecil’s feet into his lap, rubbing small counter-clockwise circles around the ankles. Which were quite boney.

“What are we going to do for our first date?” He asked randomly.

Cecil gives noise that was basically a purr and opens his eyes.

“Nothing to fancy. Because a good time isn’t based on how much money you spend.”

“I could cook for you.” Carlos suggests. “Since your birthday is next week.”

“How did you-oh god. Right there!” Cecil groans as Carlos presses his thumb into the arc of Cecil’s foot.

Carlos chuckles. “I read your chart. I also know you have a wheat allergy. And that your middle name is Gershwin.”

“Now hold on- “Cecil keens again, arching his back a little as Carlos begins to rub the lower part of Cecil’s left leg before switching to the right.

“Hm?”

“You know so much about me and I hardly know anything about you.”

“Well, my middle name is Fernando, my birthday May 20th and I’m allergic to cats. Which I assume you have because the first time we met you ran into me and then I was sneezing like crazy all day.”

Carlos smiles at the memory but Cecil’s face fell.

“Oh.”

“Hey. Don’t worry about it. I take Claritin. Because I can handle it and I would hate to stop seeing you, as we are now dating and all.”

“You’ll have to meet him sometime.”

“What if he hates me?”

“Then it’s not going to work out. I can’t date anyone my cat doesn’t trust.”

Carlos nods. “I can respect that. I hope I’ll make a good impression.”

“I’m sure he’ll love you as much as I do.” Cecil muses before his eyes go wide and one hand clapped over his mouth. “Shit. Sorry. I know it’s still way early and- “He kind of shrinks back a little.

Carlos reaches out, a tad concerned. “Cecil? Are you okay?” He asked softly.

Cecil nods quickly. “I’m alright. Just lost control of my mouth for a moment is all.”

Carlos reaches out and takes his hand, giving a careful and gentle squeeze.

“You meant it?”

Cecil looks up at him. “I do.”

“That’s good. Because I love you too.”

Cecil's mouth dropped open and he was stunned silent. Carlos chuckles again and shifts to his knees, leaning up to kiss Cecil’s lips. Cecil was speechless. Cecil “I talk for a living, so I don’t do shut up” Palmer was silent. It was a bit jarring.

“You’re adorable.” Carlos grins before sitting back down.

“You broke me.”

“I do apologize. But I am a doctor so I’m sure I can fix what I broke.”

“I do believe I’m entitled to compensation.” Cecil gives a small smile.

Carlos raises an eyebrow. “I’m sure we can work something out.”

Before Cecil could answer, Carlos kissed him once more and then kisses his forehead. “Are you wanting to do that interview?”

“I had completely forgotten about it.” Cecil admits. “But sure. Not like I have anything better to do at the moment.”

Carlos opens his mouth to retort but Cecil gives him a look and he shuts his mouth with a laugh.

“You need to behave Dr. Mendez.”

“I don’t know what you are talking about Mr. Palmer.”

“Mhm. Hand me my bag please?”

Carlos gets up and picks up the satchel that Dana had dropped off earlier. Its bag was covered in pins and patches ranging from pride to Star Trek. It was very Cecil. He hands it over and watches as Cecil opens it and digs through files and papers before pulling out a recorder.

“Here we are.” Cecil holds up the silver recorder triumphally.

“Anything else?” Carlos asked as he settles back down at the foot of the bed.

“Nope. Let’s begin.”

Cecil slipped into a professional personality easily, despite being in a hospital gown and hooked to multiple machines.

“I’m here with Mercy Eastern’s Chief of Surgery, Dr. Carlos Mendez. I’ve been told you have big news for the viewers?”

“I do.” Carlos smiles, seeming a bit nervous for some reason.

Cecil reaches over and takes his hand, giving a gentle squeeze.

“What is your news?”

“Originally the Crystal Storm Foundation was for teenage and single mothers to get help so they can get back on their feet, but as of February 13th, this Wednesday, we will be extending our reach to women who cannot conceive and working with surrogates to provide them with the family they cannot produce themselves. We believe everyone deserves a chance to be a family.”  The words seemed to be pouring out now.

Cecil couldn’t help the smile that spreads across his lips. He loved how passionate Carlos seemed when talking about helping others. His eyes light up and hold a love for people.

“We also will be helping children in the system to find forever homes. Everyone should have someone to love them.”

Cecil nods a little, his eyes starting to sting a little. Carlos stopped talking and reaches out for his hand.

“Cecil? Is something wrong?”

“No. No. Nothing is wrong. It’s just…. you are so amazing. I’m so lucky to have met you. I- “He pauses, reaching over to turn off the recorder before continuing. “Carlos, words usually come easily to me. That’s why I do what I do.” He pauses and looks away, only to have Carlos reach over and take his hand.

“But?”

Cecil looks back over. “But you make me speechless. I’m at a loss for words. I don’t know why. I’ve dated before. But this is different. You are different.”

Carlos gazes at him for a moment. “I’m…. I’m amazing because you make me want to be amazing. You have this way of making people want to be better. You inspire me with your raw passion and loyalty to your work.”

Cecil was openly crying now, and Carlos panicked.

“I didn’t mean to make you cry! I’m sorry!”

Cecil gives a watery laugh. “You.”

“Me?”

“Yes, you.”

“What about me?”

Cecil tugs on his hand. “Hold me. I’m tired.”

“Yes sir.” Carlos smiles a little and cleans off the bed before getting up.

-----.-----

The next week went by in a blur and before Carlos knew it, it was Cecil’s birthday.  He wasn’t sure what to get as a gift but suddenly, he just knew. He ran out and bought the supplies before hurrying home and getting to work.

The day passed by fairly quickly and soon it was six o’clock. He slides the lasagna into the oven and moved to answer the door. Cecil stands on the other side, wearing what he wore on the news that night, with his hair pulled back into an elegant braid. His glasses slipped down his narrow nose a little and Carlos smiles fondly.

“Hey beautiful. Happy Birthday.” Carlos steps back after pressing a chaste kiss to Cecil’s lips. Cecil follows him to the kitchen.

“I wasn’t sure if you drank red or white, so I brought both.” Cecil says as he sits down the paper bag he was carrying.

“I’m not to picky. Which do you prefer?”

“My favorite is Arbor Mist, the raspberry one but where I went didn’t have any, so I got Pinot Grigio and Rosé.”

“Oh, that’s too bad. I’m sure we can make do.” Carlos leans against the counter with an easy smile.

“I have been told I’m pretty easy to satisfy.” Cecil comments.

Carlos raises an eyebrow. “Is that so?”

Cecil’s eyes go wide, and his face, ears and neck flush a bright red as he struggles to answer. Carlos laughs.

“Yknow, you made that exact same face when we first met.”

“Please don’t bring that up. I have to deal with both Dana and Earl teasing me about it.” Cecil wines a little and buries his face in his hands.

Carlos crosses the kitchen pulls him close. “I’m sorry. I can’t help it. You have a cute blush.”

“You are annoying. You know that?” Cecil says, his voice muffled where he tucked his head into the crook of Carlos’ neck.

“You love it.”

“Yeah.” Cecil presses a kiss to Carlos’ neck. “I do.”

Before Carlos could answer, his pager went off in the living room. He tightens his hold on Cecil with a groan. He wasn’t on call tonight!

“Do you need to go?” Cecil asked, pulling away a little.

“I can have someone else get it.”

“What if they need you?”

Carlos rubs a hand over his face. He knew Cecil was right, but he didn’t want to leave. Cecil takes his hand.

“Hey. It’s okay. Go.”

“But- “

“I’m used to spending my birthday alone. We can reschedule.”

The words made Carlos’ heart hurt.

“You have lives to save.”

Carlos nods. “I know.” He kisses the center of Cecil’s palm. “Don’t go anywhere. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

“Be safe.”

“I will.” Carlos promises, turning the oven off and taking the pan out. “You can eat if you want. It’s wheat free.” He says, kissing him once more before moving into the bedroom to put his shoes on.

 Carlos finally gets home around eleven to find Cecil asleep on the couch with Stark Trek: The Next Generation playing quietly in the background. Half a glass of Rosé sits on the coffee table but both the lasagna and the cake are untouched. Cecil’s purple glasses sat crooked on his face and his clothes were rumpled enough for Carlos to assume that he’d been asleep for at least an hour. Carlos quietly sits down the bottle of Arbor Mist-raspberry of course- on the coffee table and kneels down beside the couch. He had to go to three different stores to find it, but he didn’t mind. He brushes back Cecil’s bangs and kisses his forehead. Cecil stirs a little before snapping awake and jerking upright.

“No!” He gasped, making Carlos fall back.

“Cecil?” He asked.

Cecil looked around before his eyes landed on Carlos and him visibly relaxed. “Oh. Carlos. You’re back.” He smiles.

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah. I’m fine. Just a bad dream is all.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not tonight.” Cecil shudders. “What time is it?”

“Eleven ten.” Carlos picks himself up off of the floor. “I know it hasn’t been the best birthday, but we still have fifty minutes we can salvage.”

“Sorry I fell asleep. I wanted to wait up for you.”

“I don’t mind. It was a cute sight to come home to. I got you something.” Carlos says, handing over the bottle.

“Where did you find this?!? Everyone is sold out!”

“I just got lucky I guess.”

The truth was that he drove two towns over to find it, but Cecil didn’t need to know that.

“Thank you.”

“There’s one more thing.”

“Oh?”

“Wait here.” Carlos instructs, going to his room and getting the box and returning to the couch.

Cecil takes it with a curious expression and opens the box. Nestled in silver tissue paper is the vest that Carlos had ripped when Cecil had gotten shot. It was cleaned and repaired, with a red flannel heart sewn onto the left side, over his heart.

“One of the holes was to big to fix so I improvised with one of my own shirts.” Carlos admits, rubbing the back of his head.

Cecil looks at him, a gentle expression on his face. “I love it.”

Carlos kissed him once. “Happy Birthday Dearheart.”

```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

CECIL’S CAKE RECIPE!!!

Okay so I’m from the south and the best damn cake ever is called a hummingbird cake. It’s been in my family for literally forever. And now y’all have the recipe.

3 cups all-purpose flour

2 cups sugar

1 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon baking soda

1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

3 large eggs, beaten

11/2 cups vegetable oil

vanilla extract(as much as you feel is right)

1 (8-ounce) can crushed pineapple, undrained

2 cups chopped bananas

1 cup chopped pecans

Shortening

Cream cheese frosting

1/2 cup chopped pecans

How to Make It

Step 1

Preheat oven to 350°. Whisk together flour and next 4 ingredients in a large bowl; add eggs and oil, stirring just until dry ingredients are moistened. Stir in vanilla, pineapple, bananas, and 1 cup chopped toasted pecans. Spoon batter into 3 well-greased (with shortening) and floured 9-inch round cake pans.

Step 2

Bake at 350° for 25-30 minutes or until a wooden pick inserted in center comes our clean. Cool cake layers in pans on wire racks 10 minutes; remove from pans to wire racks, and cool completely (about 1 hour).

Step 3

Place 1 cake layer on a serving platter. Spread 1 cup Cream Cheese Frosting over cake layer. Top with second layer, and spread 1 cup frosting over cake layer. Top with third cake layer, and spread top and sides of cake with remaining frosting and pecans.

I also like to mix coconut into the frosting

frosting is optional and the pineapple can be substituted with cherries

[freyalauben]

Sydney’s response

How have u found is the best way to find clients?

Social media has a huge impact on promotion, its a great way to advertise your business and get your name and face recognition. Personally my favourite way to gain clients is through group exercise/teaching classes as you can get to know people in person and gain trust as an instructor.

Did u have any fears going into the job?

My main worry at first was the competition, i thought having multiple PTs within one gym would lead to a competitive environment but i was very mistaken. I have since learned that every personal trainer has something individual to offer meaning there are different clients for every PT as each client will have different preferences and will learn better with different people so there is no competition as there’s always clients for you.

Do you think training your body and mind to be stronger empowers you as a woman?

Definitely, training makes me feel so powerful and strong. It’s also helped me feel more feminine and more body confident. There’s a huge misconception that strength training/muscle building as a woman will make you look bulky or masculine and i have learnt that this could’nt be further from the truth. Coming from someone who has always suffered from very low self esteem, training my body has made me feel so confident and has helped my mental health so much.

Any advice for women who want to start at the gym but have doubts or insecurities?

Honestly all i can ever say is just give it a go, which doesnt sound too helpful but everyone who goes to the gym was terrified to start with. The learning is the most daunting bit in my opinion, not knowing where equipment is or how its used, not knowing what exercises to do to reach your goals. We've all been there but the moment you step in that gym the learning starts. You'll gain experience, there are trainers everywhere who you can ask for help. There are one to one sessions to help you get started or you could take part in a group class to gain some more confidence before you go by yourself, or you could train with a friend. I think the one thing everyone fears when starting the gym is being watched/judged by other more experienced members, but the truth is everyone in the gym is there to train themselves, we’re all too focused on our own training to focus on anyone else and if you see people looking around it’s probably because they’re nervous about being watched too. It’s super important to remember that that confidence grows with experience and time, you'll feel better about going to the gym and struggling a bit than not going at all. No workout is a bad workout. Just give it a go :)

One thing you have learned since starting your fitness journey?

I have learned that my mind is extremely strong but my body is much stronger. I have learned that pretty much my whole life ive convinced myself of having some limits which in reality arent my limits at all. I sort of told myself "thats so heavy i could never lift that" when i actually could lift it a lot easier than i could’ve imagined.

Opinion on female only gyms?

I think its an absolutely amazing concept. To have a safe space for women to feel empowered and strong without feeling intimidated or uncomfortable would be amazing. Where women can come together and encourage eachother. Sisterhood is very empowering so i feel it would be a great way to encourage women to work out and make friends.

Have you ever felt any stigma telling people you're a personal trainer?

No not really, i feel very supported at the moment and im proud to tell people I’ve got my dream job however there are always judgemental people out there but i dont take notice.