#one far more than the other ofc but still. we have someone with a 100% last place rate in life series

[poppyseed799]

I cannot be the only one who thought of life series yttd au, right? I’ve never even played or watched someone else play yttd, I just know about it from my sister. But from what I do know, it would fit with the life series SO WELL. I’m definitely drawing Jimmy as Sou before anyone loses Limited Life I can’t waste this chance

[katsu28]

Hi! For the flower ask could I request lily of the valley with Jamie x f!reader? I was thinking something like reader revealing to Jamie that they are pregnant? If you’re not feeling that I always love a seemingly sad prompt turned happy! I also loved this prompt list and could request 100 more if you want 😂😂♥️♥️

i had such a great time with this pls request as much as you want, i would be honored to write them <3

lily of the valley: a tear, followed by a sob, jamie tartt x reader, mentions of pregnancy ofc, 1.6k

You were trying so hard not to freak out right now. 

You’d been feeling like absolute shit the past week or so, but just chalked it up to having some bad takeout, or that you’d finally caught that pesky flu that’d been going around this time of year. It wasn’t until your period hadn’t come when it was supposed to that the idea you could possibly be pregnant dawned upon you, but when it finally did, you rushed to the nearest pharmacy to buy a boatload of pregnancy tests. 

Now you were here, sat on the closed toilet lid in your bathroom, waiting until the agonizingly long five minutes were up. 

It was hard not to jump to conclusions, but god, you really were doing your best. Having a baby would change every aspect of your lives. You didn't know if you were ready for that. But you also didn't know if you weren’t ready for it. You wouldn't know unless it actually happened but if you really were pregnant, there was no taking that back. Having a baby was a forever thing. With Jamie. 

Yeah, the whole not jumping to conclusions thing really wasn’t working out very well for you this far. 

Your phone timer went off before you could dig yourself into a deeper hole and you squeezed your eyes shut when you’d made your way to the counter where the blue and white test sat, looking seemingly innocent. It seemed strange how such a tiny stick would tell you whether or not your life and Jamie’s would change forever. 

Exhaling a long, calming breath, you peeked at it with one eye, then both. 

Three lines, clear as day. Positive.

You took two more in quick succession right after just to be sure—different brands too, just to make double sure. Two more positives. You were definitely pregnant. 

How were you going to tell Jamie? He was at the height of his football career, and even though you’d been together a long while, you hadn’t even really had that huge next step conversation about starting a family. Hell, you weren’t even sure if he wanted kids—not with what he’d been through with his own father. Of course, Jamie would never turn out like his dickhead dad, but you knew he’d be worried about it. 

On the other hand, starting a family with Jamie sounded amazing. You’d get to have a kid that was a perfect blend of him and yourself, someone to love and nurture and watch grow into their own person. They’d have the best parts of Jamie, the best parts of you, and every time you’d look at them you’d get to cherish this human being you’d created together. 

The sound of the front door closing in the distance pulled you from your spiraling thoughts and you quickly hid the tests in the cupboard, splashing some water on your face. You didn’t feel normal by a long shot, but planned to act like so until you could truly process the new information. It still felt unreal. 

Jamie was rummaging around in the fridge when you finally gathered the confidence to leave the bathroom, humming to himself until he heard you enter the kitchen. “Hey, d’you know if we have any more eggs, or are we out? I could run to the shops really quick if we need stuff.” 

“Um, we should still have a few, I think,” You mumbled, trying your best to keep your voice as level as you could. You must not have done as good of a job as you wanted, because he straightened up immediately, swinging the door shut to look at you. When he saw you standing there looking less than happy, he was across the room in an instant, holding you at arms’ length to scan you for any injuries or differences in your appearance, anything that could tell him why you looked like you’d seen a ghost. 

“Whoa. What’s wrong?”

You shook your head, inhaling a deep breath before trying to force a smile. “Nothing, I’m fine, I promise I’m fine.” 

“Don’t look fine to me.” He frowned, rubbing his hands down your arms. “Looks like you’ve got something on your mind. C’mon, lemme have it. Talk to me, love.” 

You weren’t sure if it was the way he knew you so well he could tell something was off with just one look, or if it was the pregnancy hormones already kicking in (did they even kick in this early??? You couldn’t have been more than a couple weeks pregnant at this point), but you couldn’t help it. 

A tear rolled down your cheek, and before you knew it you were sobbing, burying yourself against Jamie’s chest. He mumbled a soft ‘oh fuck’ but wrapped his arms around you despite his total confusion, pressing his nose into your hair and shuffling over to the sofa so he could hold you as tight as he could. He didn’t know what the fuck was going on, but he knew whatever it was, you’d deal with it together. 

“Sorry, I just—god, I’m sorry, you’re probably tired and I’m—I’m…I don’t know.” You sniffled, wiping under your eyes with the sleeve of your jumper. You pulled away from him with a shaky sigh, putting your head in your hands. 

Jamie shook his head profusely, scrambling to kneel down in front of you. “Fuck that, why’re you cryin’?” He asked, concerned etched into his features. He took hold of your elbows, gently prying your arms away from your face so he could see you properly. “Did that cranky old sod from a few houses over come over to yell at you about the garden again? I swear to fuckin’ god��” 

“I’m pregnant.” You blurted, deciding to just rip the bandaid off and get it over with. 

Jamie’s mouth snapped shut instantly. He blinked owlishly at you. “You—wait, wait. You’re…” 

“Pregnant.”

“You’re pregnant.” He repeated, wide eyes darting down to your midriff, then back up to your gaze. “Right now? How—how long?” 

“I don’t know. Four, five weeks, maybe? I just—I know it’s not something we planned for, and—and Richmond’s doing super well and you’ve got your whole career ahead of you and I get it if you don’t wanna be saddled with a kid—” Jamie took hold of your fidgeting hands, although his were quite shaky as well. He didn’t say anything for a while, but you suspected it was more for utter shock and a lack of words rather than disappointment like the fear you’d had in the back of your head this whole time. 

“Don’t even think like that. M’not going anywhere—wouldn’t even dream about it.” He said finally, looking you right in the eye. He looked determined. Steadfast. “Whatever I have to do, whatever we have to do, I’ll do it. We’ll do it. Everything’s gonna go just fine.” 

“How are you so calm right now?” You asked quietly, running a hand through his hair. 

Jamie leaned into your touch on instinct, turning his head to kiss your palm gently. “M’not calm. Feels like my heart’s about to burst out me chest, I’m so happy. But it don't really seem like I should be yellin’ and shit right now—not til you’ve wiped those tears from your eyes.” He replied, reaching out to swipe away the tear tracks from your cheeks on his own. “Can I—can I talk to them? The baby.” 

“Sure, love.” You smiled at him warmly and he nodded, suddenly looking a little nervous as he settled himself right next to your stomach. You were pretty sure the baby was only the size of a seed right now, but the thought of Jamie wanting to talk to them made your own heart swell. You suspected it would be something he’d do throughout your entire pregnancy. 

“Erm…hi, I guess. I’m your dad. I don’t—I don’t really know what to say to you because I don’t think you’ve quite got any ears yet, but…I want you to know that I promise to always be here for you and to love you no matter what,” He murmured, rubbing his fingers against your skin. He hesitated for a few beats, and you knew he was thinking about his own father. How he never wanted to become like James. How he would never want to put your child through what he went through.

How he wanted to break the cycle and create a better one—a life filled with love and joy, never fear and resentment. 

You felt another tear roll down your cheek, and another, and then you were sniffling back another round of sobs, making Jamie’s eyes fly to your face. “Oh shit, I made your mum cry again—fuck, I ain’t supposed to say shit, ain’t I? I’ll get better at this once you get here, yeah? But until then, have fun inside your mum. I know I did.” 

That earned him a shove to the side of the head, but he still grinned, dropping a kiss to your stomach before pushing himself back to sit cross-legged next to you. “Was that good? I think I smashed it.” 

You let out a watery chuckle, dabbing at your waterline with your sleeve again. “It was perfect.” 

“Can I yell ‘bout it now?” 

“Have a go.” 

“We’re havin’ a baby! We’re havin’ a fuckin’ baby!!!” He cheered, jumping onto the couch next to you. You couldn’t stop the giggle that escaped your lips at his antics. He was happy and you’d never been so relieved to see him that way. 

Jamie pumped his fist into the air a few times before dropping to his knees and leaning in to kiss you, nearly missing your mouth in his now unleashed excitement. “I love you, darlin’. I love you with everythin’ I’ve got, and I love our kid just as much. Even if they are just a clump of cells right now. And everything that comes next, we’ll figure it out. The season, the training, all that shit, we’ll figure it out together.” 

“Together.” You echoed, giving his hand a tight squeeze.

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[maskofenigma]

Fallen London's recurring topic of Love is really interesting to me as a sort of throughline between various stories and i want to ramble about discuss that briefly. i dont call it a theme because thematic statements are usually more complex than a single word, at least in my mind, but a lot of Fallen London's storylines incorporate love into their themes.

there's the obvious things ofc; the Manager and the King, the Duchess and the Canigaster, Queen Victoria and Prince Albert, the Bazaar's whole situation. Love is a common motivator that many people can relate to, so it's no surprise that it appears in this capacity. Even so, these instances also underpin a lot of the setting's character, particularly the latter two examples, explaining why the neath is the way it is. but if we broaden our horizons just a bit, you can start to see it appearing all over the place (though maybe thats just confirmation bias lol).

the youthful naturalist loves discovery and life, and evolution in that context is a story about what one is willing to endure and sacrifice for that love. Love is a constant theme in the Light Fingers storyline, between moon milk and poor Edward, but also shows in Mr Fires's love for London (strange and deleterious though it may be) and the protagonist's love for either the Hybrid they protected or the diamond they'd been after. I don't know as much about the other ambitions (yet), but Nemesis is all about avenging a loved one by any means necessary, and you could see Bag a Legend as a love for the hunt or a love of fame, though even i’ll admit thats a bit of a stretch. Idk about Heart's Desire i’m still working on it but there's probably something. Its literally about what your heart desires but there’s absolutely a deeper connection with the Marvellous and stuff. No spoilers i'm still working on it :3

i dont know a ton about SMEN's story either, but i know from a ludonarrative perspective that it tests the players love for their character, forcing you to ruin this silly victorian who you are presumably quite attached to in the search for knowledge (perhaps another kind of love?) With what little i know of it, i’d honestly be shocked if there wasn’t anything there. if ao3 has taught me anything, there was definitely some kind of love going on between those two space bats, but im not sure if ao3 is a reputable source in this specific instance

The Flukes are literally sick with love for lost Axile, and a lot of the Masters are shown yearning to return to the High Wilderness. Many of the Irem Destinies regard love in this way, love for the sun, for the liberation, for ones partner, for london, for the people of the neath, and on and on. im not very far along with the railway but im 100% certain itll crop up again there, whether with Furnace Ancona or the Efficient Commissioner or the masters or whatever else. same goes for the Exceptional Stories and the myriad tales ive yet to unlock. Weve started to see a glimmer of it in firmament, with the imminent lucifer fire guy, but i wasnt really sure what his deal was. the idea extends to the other Sunless games from what i know, though ive yet to play those. Mask of the Rose is a romance, so thats pretty clear cut; sunless skies seems to have a lot of content relating to Queen Victoria and Prince Albert; and sunless seas seems to have it present in a few storylines, though i couldnt point to anything specific at this time. even small things, such as the way that the railway steel seems drawn to Hell and the sorrowful properties of sphinxstone, makes for a setting that is inundated with longing and heartbreak in a fascinating way.

viewed through this lens, fallen london's perspective on love is tragically earnest: love is painful and unfair and yet so very necessary. as someone who's aromantic and a hater, i call that an L. but from a thematic perspective its very interesting how often this occurs and how it connects a lot of fallen london. In so many other narratives, love is a conclusion, a reward or climax. In fact, mass media seems allergic to depicting an active and healthy relationship, and instead relegates such matters to a single ceremonious kiss. But for fallen london, a game where kisses are currency and romance is taxed, the concept of love is afforded such an interesting amount of care and reverence. Fitting for a setting wherein the insisting incidents all relate to love in some way or another

it may be comedic and at times quite absurd, but fallen london to me is a game deeply concerned with love and its influence on people. and idk i think thats interesting. if you're looking for the theme or message of a given fallen london story, look to love, always.

does that count as a thesis? i certainly dont know

[aprilias]

During the last race weekend, I posted about making a stats post about three particular riders if it received a certain benchmark (one like). Since we reached that marker with ease, and I have nothing better to do with my time, I am presenting you the findings of this research.

The Context: Jack Miller’s "princess" rant was post-race at the Sachsenring on 18th June 2023, so it’s almost been a full year since then. In this rant he targeted Fabio Quartararo and Marc Marquez who were complaining about their Yamaha and Honda bikes not working last year and told them to shut the fuck up and stop complaining, a quote that seems to have aged poorly when looking at their results.

So let's see if this is the case...

Qualifying results:

(Also for reference, each of these will show 2023 and 2024 results separately because there will ofc be a spike for a certain someone who went from a Honda to a Ducati lmao)

For 2023, Miller did the best out of the three in terms of his average qualifying position, narrowly ahead of Marquez, and he also had the highest qualifying position of them all (his P2 at Silverstone in wet conditions).

Quartararo did the best in his inter-team battle with Franco Morbidelli last season, being the top Yamaha in nearly 85% of the races. Marquez was the top Honda in 9 out of the 13 races (with Joan Mir x3 and Taka Nakagami being the two riders to beat Marc to top Honda in qualifying last year).

However, when it comes to the three of them, it was Marquez that was able to qualify the highest on the grid, with him beating Quartararo and Miller in 6 out of the 13 races post-Sachsenring in 2023. Jack was top 4 times, with Fabio taking the remaining three (as you can hopefully see by the colour-coordinated gold, silver and bronze).

For 2024, it's clear to see that Marc has been the best out of these guys, with the highest average position, as well as being the only one out of the three to take pole position which he earned in Jerez. However, he has only been the top Ducati twice, in Jerez and COTA, but as well all know he has a year old bike to contend with the Pramacs and factory Ducati riders.

The rest of the data shows that both KTM and Yamaha have gotten worse, with Fabio and Yamaha failing to qualify in the top 5 so far this season, but despite this, he still leads the head-to-head against his teammate. Jack, on the other hand, has a respectable qualifying average so far in 2024, but has only been the top KTM once (in Portimao).

So far this year, Marc has been the best of the three 4 times, with Jack taking two and Fabio taking his one win over the three in Le Mans.

Sprint race results:

For 2023, none of the three riders had particularly good sprint record, with the highest average finisher (Miller) not having a good enough average to even score points.

Marc earned the most points in the sprint races last year with 23, though he only finished in the points three times. Fabio scored the lowest number of points and had the lowest average position, however he was still able to earn a podium.

Marc and Fabio share the exact same record in sprints when it comes to beating their teammates, with the two of them being the top Honda/Yamaha over 50% of the time.

In the 2023 H2H, Marc was the best of the three across the 12 weekends (due to no sprint in Phillip Island), winning 5 of these battles; Miller took four sprint weekends and Fabio took 3.

Marquez clearly has the better record in sprints this year, with his average position of third leaving him on the podium. Fabio's average has improved since last year but he has only finished in the points once, and Miller's has also improved - with his average position ninth and meaning he would more often than not be in the points.

Marc, Jack and Fabio all currently have the better record against their teammates in the sprint races in 2024. Marc has a 100% record against his brother Alex, while Fabio has beaten Alex Rins in six of the seven sprints so far this year (which could've been 7/7 if he had completed the Mugello sprint). Jack has beaten Brad in 5 races out of the seven, however is still struggling when it comes to beating the rookie Pedro Acosta, as he has only been the top KTM bike once.

In the H2H between the three of them, Marquez takes it on the sprints winning 6/7 races. Fabio takes the other with his fifth place in Jerez.

Race results:

In the main races in 2023, it was Fabio who led the statistics between the three riders. Despite having the worst average qualifying, he won six of the 13 weekends against Marc and Jack. Marc took 4 while Jack took 2; although Assen is colour coded here, they all DNFd so it doesn't count, and it is coded in order of race completion (so because Fabio DNfed the latest he's gold if this makes sense).

Marc and Fabio once again had the better of their teammates in 2023, while Miller was only able to beat Binder in 23% of the races. This is even more damning for Miller when comparing the teammates' 2023 averages - with Binder averaging a finishing position of 4.8, while Miller's was 10.6. This is compared to Marquez vs Mir (9 vs 10.75 in Marquez's favour) and Quartararo vs Morbidelli (8.42 vs 12.23 in Quartararo's favour) where the battles are closer, and the riders are winning their team and factory head-to-heads despite being considered to have a worse bike than the KTM.

In 2024, it's clear that Marquez has the better race statistics, with three podiums and an average position of 5th. However, he has not finished as the top Ducati in any race so far this year, but he does have the better record against his teammate.

Quartararo and Miller have similar records with their average finishes this year, however Quartararo is the more consistent rider with more points and more races completed. He is also currently winning his head to head against teammate Alex Rins by finishing ahead in 57% of the races in 2024.

In terms of KTM, it has been a disaster year for Miller, who is yet to finish ahead of his teammate in any race this year and, consequently, has not finished as the top KTM. His average is significantly less than that of both Binder (6.71) and Acosta, the rider that will replace him next year, who has an average race position of 7th.

From this, Marquez has won the 2024 comparison in 6 of the 7 races, with Quartararo taking the remaining one.

In summary: Although he has done well in qualifying and sprints since these comments, Jack Miller has been outperformed by both Fabio Quartararo and Marc Marquez on inferior machinery (for Marc's stats from 2023). Marc has of course had the better of 2024 after switching to Ducati, but also has won out against the other two in qualifying and sprint races while on a Honda for 2023. Fabio does well in the races despite his relatively low qualifying positions, but is limited from achieving top 5s due to the Yamaha's capabilities. Jack does well in qualifying and sprints, but when it comes to the main events on Sundays, he lacks a bit in comparison to his rivals.

From what this data is showing, it seems as if Marc has comprehensively beaten Jack Miller despite his complaints about Honda in 2023, and Fabio has also narrowly done it due to his race pace. In short: those comments aged not-very-well to say the least.

If there's anything anyone wants to know or ask about then my asks are always open but I kinda had fun doing this!

[kyouka-supremacy]

hi! I've been going through your blog and I love all your analyses, we may not agree on everything but it's definitely fun to read and eye-opening and I'm grateful to see someone looking into bsd with such depth and whipping out whole essays <3

On that note. There was a fan theory I read when dead apple came out (for the life of me I cannot remember the source, if anyone knows please tell me) that Atsushi's healing ability applies only to the injuries caused by other abilities, and he can't heal from non-ability things like guns etc. The op cited the scene in ch18 where Atsushi is caught in a shooting, and healed by Yosano in the next chapter.

This theory came about because 1) in dead apple, Shibusawa says that the tiger is "the antithesis to all abilities" and "the ability everyone desires." Then we never get the reason why Shibusawa was so obsessed with Atsushi. And 2) in ch7 after sskk's first encounter where Atsushi's leg is severed, Yosano takes a look and thinks "there's no scar, it's more of a restoration than a regeneration."

The gist of this is that I like the idea of Atsushi not being 100% invulnerable. And, if his is indeed the antithesis to all abilities then I'm excited to see what that entails; it implies that in the face of a time travel ability, he would be able to turn back time (if he knew how to use it ofc, cough Fukuchi fight cough). If the book is tied to an ability, Atsushi may be able to undo changes done by the book? he may also nullify Dazai's nullification? idk this opens many doors. Anyway! this is my fave bsd theory. I think, with how Akutagwa's ability sort of completes Atsushi's, and with the whole Rashomon being able to eat space, maybe with this development it will also "eat" a portion of the timeline, as in, undoing the events that occurred? is this making any sense? sorry for the rant I'd love to hear what u think, thanks <3

Hi!! Thank you for your kind words, they mean a lot!!! Could this be the post you were looking for? Funny enough, it was at the very top of my reblogs queue. Indeed, it's an extremely insightful theory!!!

So, there's a lot to unpack here. Ever since I've read that theory, I've found Yosano's thoughts regarding Atsushi's healing from chapter 7 extremely interesting. It's curious, because the nuance gets completely lost in the official English translation:

(Raws → fantranslation → official Yen Press English translation). As you can see, the meaning gets totally lost in the last one. It almost makes me wonder if it was an intentional change due to the fact that the plot point won't be brought up in the manga in ten years (much like opting out of adapting the Steinbeck Guild uprising in the anime, since that plot point has been apparently discarded), but I hope that's not the case.

All taken into account, I don't think it's a stretch to say Atsushi's ability, due to his quality of denying other abilities, can only quickly regenerate as far as other abilities wounds go. When I was reading the manga I thought it was only plot convenience and suspension of disbelief, but taking a closer look perhaps the pattern of wounds not caused by abilities taking longer to heal isn't coincidental: it already happened with the wounds he suffered from in the orphanage, which ended up leaving scars (chapter 28), with the Guild's attack, which was of unknown nature but required Yosano's help to heal (chapter 18-19), with Twain's sniper attacks, which as the theory's Op point don't seem to have healed immediately (chapter 29). But in my opinion it's still too little instances to be able to affirm with certainty that it's not just coincidences dictated by plot convenience.

I do have a feeling there must be Something to Atsushi's ability. it can't just be tiger transformation and wounds regeneration. He's the protagonist, and leaving it at that, that's about the lamest ability of them all (sorry!! I love him still!!). I like the idea of Atsushi's ability being truly special, carrying qualities that have yet to be unfolded that make it different and somehow above the other abilities. I really think it'd be the most satisfying progression narrative wise, because so far Atsushi has gotten really little to claim for his protagonist role, being constantly overshadowed by Dazai; but he's the main character still, and it's like the story itself is waiting to reveal what makes him special. And there being something special to his ability has been, though subtly, consistently underlined: the extraordinary bounty on his head that nothing about what we know seems to explain, the fact that the Guild wanted to capture him specifically, the no further elaborated on fact that he's the key to finding the Book, Shibusawa's concern with him and, most importantly, the ability's quality of tearing through other abilities. Like, that feels very relevant; it's different from Dazai's nullification ability in the way it doesn't just temporarily nullify the other ability, but straight up denies it. I feel like in a manga that is so littered with meta commentary on literature, it'd be fitting to have an ability that denies other abilities' very existence, like moving an eraser through the page. It's certainly interesting to think about. And I like the concept of Atsushi's ability as an alternative to Dazai's nullification ability. Dazai has been feeling invulnerable so long, it would be gratifying to contemplate the existence of something that's outside of his sphere of influence, and potentially even more powerful and destructive than he is.

Again, there's already so many elements that make it impossible to ignore the uniqueness of Atsushi's ability; but even then, they're still so sparse and obscure it's really hard to take a guess on what it could really be about, or what is the reason why it's special. There's so much space for speculations - a connection with the book, a singularity, a God-like ability just to name a few -, but in my opinion none of them have any concrete enough canon basis to leave space for theories. I think I'd rather limit myself to say it would make a lot of sense for it to be an ability superior to other abilities, since it's something that has the power to tear through abilities themselves, and I believe that such quality is also coherent with its link to the Book as another ability-originated, extremely powerful object. The ability's power to rewrite reality, if only to a smaller extent compared to the Book, may further hint to its connection to the Book / being originated from the Book / sharing origins with the Book. When the ability immediately helps Atsushi regenerate from ability induced wounds he is lowkey rewriting the story to portray a reality where Atsushi wasn't hurt, and when he tears abilities apart it is lowkey rewriting a story where the ability didn't exist. In that, I believe it wouldn't be too far-fetched to draw similarities with the way the Book works. This also made me realize that where it's confirmed that the Book's altered reality to the point of changing the ada's memories so they remembered committing the terrorism crimes, I'm pretty sure that we never got the confirmation the same happened to Atsushi. Then, what if the book can't have effect on Atsushi due to his ability, but only on the reality surrounding him.

So yeah. I'm curious to see how this will unwrap, although I have my doubts I'll still be around when it does (man, the manga is going to take another six months just to catch up with the last anime episode, so you know). I really really like the concept of Atsushi's ability developing in a way that will make it more functional in a rematch against Fukuchi. I've been advocating for a sskk vs. Fukuchi rematch for years at this point, and it seems like we will indeed be getting it; and sskk BETTER win it this time, it wouldn't make any narrative sense to be otherwise. But to do that they'll have to overcome their biggest disadvantage that is Shintou Amenogozen's time manipulation, so you know!! Looking forward to see a sskk that is now mature and experienced unveil new skills to their abilities.

[acewitch-writes]

Hello! I recently found your account, and I went on scrolling down and down...and now I hope you know how grateful I am. Thank u- Merci. About 90% of the content you share here has made me feel so much better. I realllyy hope wonderful things happen for you. I've been a fan of hp since 2001, but I'm not really a social media person so I haven't been active in the fandom. I had no idea what was happening here until recently..two months ago to be exact (other details are not important) and omg.. I ended up in a discussion with some I think, new fans. tbh I thought, "Great! I'm good at this, I read all the books more than once Let's talk :)"  and omg their very first question was "What do you think about Regulus?"

I was like, "Who?" *dying from secondhand embarrassment bc It turns out I'm not that good at this

but as the discussion continued, I became more and more baffled bc "Why was everyone talking about Barty, Evan, and Regulus? who is daddy Remu? and what do you mean people ship James Potter with R.A.B.? What?"

I swear for a moment I thought "Did the writer publish a new book? Did I miss something? " tbh, I respect everyone's opinion it's none of my business but I'm still shocked. The only thing that bothers me is everything that happened with this new Wolfsar

omg, for most fans around my age (or at least people I know), Sirius was the complete portrayal of a bad boy- a rebel, with boots, tattoos, a leather jacket, and a fucking motorcycle. so this new Sirius is like a stranger to me, and that's okay. Mein issue is kinda with this new Remus T T my beloved .

They (the fans I was talking with) told me Remus is "tall, so handsome, SO strong, and hot-headed person because,  yk he's a werewolf." I was like "hot headed? excuse me?" I tried to explain to them that Remus being a werewolf is a metaphor for illnesses like HIV, it's not some superpowery gift.  they didn't believe me, but then they literally looked me in the face and said, "Then why would Sirius like someone like him? He's poor, short, and ugly." I swear I wanted to cry right then and there.

What is this mindset that makes some people think that a person should be, Idk, hot and flawless to deserve to be loved? Yes I don't think Remus is tall and super hot and perfect and isn't it fine? and I am 100% sure he's so beautiful. not like Sirius ofc but he has this "warm, cozy, and soft" sort of beauty. and I don't think he was a coward (ok maybe he was a liitle) but I guess it's easier for us, humans, to take the worst or weakest moment of a character and amplify it until it defines them entirely. and omg I'm so sorry for my rant and my bad english. but once again thank you for your beautiful soul <3 thank you

Hi anon! I, too, am baffled by the recent obsession with Regulus in this fandom. I think Jegulus is fine as a crack ship, but it has become so mainstream that many fans have just gone ahead and canonized it to the point that you'll be vilified for not accepting it as canon. I underestimated how popular the "best friend's brother" trope was, apparently. I also think it appeals to many fans as a Marauders Era version of one of the most popular ships of all time, Drarry.

This new version of Wolfstar is my biggest complaint with today's fandom, too! I get that the Marauders have very limited canon information and therefore we have more creative freedom to flesh them out, but I really believe that it has gone way too far. Sirius and Remus in today's fandom don't bear any resemblance to the characters they're based on. Remus is just a generic alpha werewolf OC and Sirius is his generic himbo femboy love interest OC. They don't even share a physical description with their Canon counterparts, and their personalities and character traits are so far removed that I can't even fathom how we reached this point as a fandom. How can you claim to like these characters if you have to change everything the source material says about them?

You're English is great, by the way! I completely agree that Remus has a cozy-and-warm sort of beauty. He made a point to distance himself from the stigma surrounding Lycanthropy because it was the focal point of his shame and self-loathing. And I just adore Wolfstar's dynamic from this lens, with the intimidatingly beautiful, confident, headstrong Sirius Black, who could have his pick of anyone he wants, choosing this ordinary guy because he's cozy and soft and it's exactly what Sirius wants after surviving the harsh ideals and abuse of House Black.

[cookii-moon]

I think post DOTD Cole still deserves to be at least a tiny bit affected by his time as a ghost yk

Explanations!!

Ngl the fact that Cole literally defied life and death and we never talk about it makes me sad like cmon it’s so interesting we give Lloyd Oni dragon features and Nya water features but we NEVER talk about when Cole literally transcended the barrier of ACTUAL DEATH. He should get more than a scar that vanishes afterwards and some cool powers SO IM GIVING HIM IT because this fandom has a criminal lack of ghost Cole content

So yeah here’s my explanations for each thingy plus my headcanons slash fanon

You can find the exact lines and contents in the ID if you can’t read my messy handwriting or tell what my messy sketches are supposed to be dndfjhgfdhgi know I know it’s very bad anyways

first one is self explanatory, Kai’s worried about Cole because the guy was dead and came back to life, Cole denies it (no it’s not ship but idm if ur a lavashipper and want it to be ship you can tag it if you wanna) because he’s Cole ofc he’s gonna deny it he’s an idiot. Meanwhile we go on to list alll the ways it’s most definitely 100% affecting him.

first one. the Cole vision. BASICALLY I follow the theory ghosts have different eyes, and when designing those eye, I take inspiration from lizard eyes. A lot of lizards, particularly nocturnal ones, not only have good night vision but can also see many more colors than humans, so I applied that to ghost eyes as well, essentially sight is one of their few senses that aren’t muted. They have night vision and can also see a much broader spectrum of color than humans can.

Since Cole has his scar on the left side, he also gets a ghost eye on the left side, which still has all the advantages he did as a ghost. On the other hand, his right eye is back to usual, meaning it doesn’t get those advantages and he’s still red/green colorblind in it. That means his left and right vision is pretty different now, which takes quite a lot of getting used to. Obviously this would be easier to show with a colored thing but it was. Hard to color for obvious reasons (you can’t demonstrate someone being able to see more colors than humans because we will always interpret it as a color we can see due to how we filter it) the ghost eye stays his entire life and there’s not really anything he can do about it.

Onto the arm - the markings are essentially burn marks / scars from his lava arms, and his nails are claws. I see ghosts as getting less and less human as time goes on because they forget who they were and what they looked like, therefore being incapable of mimicking a human form. Because Cole was around the ninja he never got far, but he did end up with some intrinsic ghost traits that carried over, like the claws. He has tried cutting them but it basically requires a massive claw clipper and even then they grow back very quickly and you can still see that they’re claws, they’re just less obnoxiously sharp. He usually opts to hide them with gloves a lot of the time. The claws are also permanent, but he can regularly trim them to be less obvious and also less annoying and more manageable.

The one where he’s scared of water is. Self explanatory. Obviously he has a big fear of water after coming back from the dead. Even just a few drops can send him into a panic attack. It gets better eventually with exposure therapy, though it may still cause him to be anxious around it at times.

most people have already done the “Cole runs into doors and walls after coming back from being a ghost lol” but like. It makes sense. So.

Right. Onto the ANGSTTTT.

“Everything is too much” refers to his sensory issues. Now obviously Cole is autistic /lh so he’s always had some sensory issues, but oh boy. Getting the ability to feel literally everything instantly after so long of not having it whatsoever?? Yikes. Pretty much everything is obnoxiously and incredibly overwhelming to him. it goes back to the usual after a lot of help from his family, though! :)

“But also”. Aka the image of him looking out at the stars. Lot more vague. Interpret it as you wish. There’s a few intended meanings to it but go ahead and figure them out for yourself. I will say that going with the idea that it’s dissociation related, he has a tendency to dissociate a lot after coming back (which is strange since he used to be pretty grounded). It never really goes away.

”Too little” ok so this one DEFINITELY needs explanation. I talked about how he’s overwhelmed. Well. Sometimes he’ll have bouts where it’s the exact opposite. He’ll suddenly feel a cold chill followed by a spreading numbness. Sometimes it’s just his hand, or his arm, other times it’s his entire body. It’s basically a psychological thing, sort of like phantom limbs except instead of a feeling where there is an absence, it’s more of an absence where there should be a feeling. Of course it’s absolutely terrifying for him, but the others eventually learn how to help ground him when it happens. Over time It gets less frequent but it doesn’t go away.

Anyways yeah that’s all I just. Think there should not only be more ghost Cole content but also. More post ghost Cole. He’s gotta be impacted SOMEHOW. Right.

Anyways yeah this is that so like

[kinzig81]

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[just-sp-in-inginthevoid]

So I was thinking how so many girls in the fandom love and fawn over Shinichiro but in the Tokyorev universe it’s the complete opposite. Even with basically everyone saying how a perfect old brother and leader he is, he still got rejected 20 times.

This also goes on why Shin wants to be in a romantic relationship so bad? It is him just a romantic at hear or is this somehow related to his parents relationship and he just wants to prove himself that he can be different than them (more in how he can be different than his father and by that proving that it is possible to have a fulling relationship without cheating).

Ah, the infinite amount of answers to those questions... I mean, for why he is so unpopular it's probably cuz he sucks at flirting and since we as the audience never saw that part of him, we focus on what we know of him which.. for the most part is far more noble and cool (even if some questionable actions of his remain - but we love him and his flaws anyway). The girls he was after probably never saw these other sides of him (if they did, he'd have had experienced smth similar to Takemichi (w/ Hinata, Yuzuha & Senju). Altho I guess we know so little about him back in BD that we can't say for certain if that didn't happen)

The 'why Shinichiro wanted a relationship so bad'-question is even more difficult to figure out. I've got my own headcanon about it, but that's only speculations ofc and pretty much baseless.

Shinichiro wants a relationship very very much. But he doesn't actually catch the concept of falling in love and being interested in someone beforehand. He'd 'fall' for girls but he'd actually not know much about them. Being rejected hurt still, because his intents were genuine and not deceitful but even if his heart gets hurt, he recovers pretty quickly and steadily: because he's craving the relationship, not the girl. He only knows them on surface level, and god knows if they are even aware of his existence

He's raising Mikey and Emma, right? He's their father figure, but they've got no mother figure. they need one. and we know how japan works, nuclear 'traditional' family all the way, how else do you want the kids to grow up 'normally'? and he has to raise them good. thats his job

Shinichiro also looks up to his father (not for the cheating part, let's hope really hard--) so he probably tried to (consciously or not) act like him when he tries to flirt. except he's likely awfully bad at it. And Shinichiro is a momma boy to me so ain't no way he's in favor of hurting women emotionally (and physically ofc ofc), he's far to attached to his mom for that (I will not. have any thoughts about how Shinichiro may feel about his father. I do not have the time for that. No. Nope. nopety nopes.... Heloveshimlotsbutthere'sstillthebitterresentmentanddisappointmentthatlotsofpplfeeltowardstheirparentsforfairjustifiedreasons)

Once he manages to - actually, fully - fall in love he's 100% head over heels, hopeless romantic all the way. He's corny. He's pathetic. He's a loser. We love that for him. But I don't think he falls that easily, I think he tries (as a teen at least) to trigger his falls (and fails. which girls may have picked up on, too). He has a very specific idea of romantic relationships, too so if it doesn't look like what he imagines, he may be a bit lost

[markantonys]

wait, since they namedropped graendal this season, what if SHE'S the forsaken in caemlyn controlling morgase during s3???? (apologies if this has already been suggested, but i don't think i've seen it.) now, namedropping a character doesn't necessarily mean we will see them in the very next season, buuuuut of the other 4 s2 namedrops, 2 (moghedien & gawyn) will 100% be in s3. (cadsuane & taim, eh, i won't hold my breath on them appearing in s3 but it's not impossible.)

i don't know, i just find it Very Interesting that they chose to specifically name graendal, when they didn't have to include the Forsaken Listing line at all or could've rewritten it any number of ways to not name graendal. for a little while my theory has been that, for practicality reasons, they might want to avoid naming specific forsaken until they're at a place where they feel confident they will have time to include that forsaken in the show, since they have to always be in a position to be able to wrap the story up in fewer seasons than planned. so in keeping with that, maybe it's not unreasonable to imagine we may be seeing graendal (and in a prominent role, as i doubt they'd cast a forsaken just to show up to 1 forsaken zoom call scene and then pray the actor can return for more in a few years) sooner than we think?

now, let's think about whether graendal replacing rahvin in that story role would work.

short-term: yes, 100%. she has a similar personality type/modus operandi of loving luxury and preferring to Compel people from the shadows, so i can easily see her setting herself up comfortably in a palace and making a queen her puppet. it also perfectly positions her to murder asmodean in caemlyn. look, i respect stories leaving questions unsolved, but i feel like the show would rather just show Us Viewers who killed him so we can move on, instead of making it a deliberate Unsolved Murder and distracting us into wasting all our time speculating about it & not focusing on other things that are actually important to the story.

as for long term, i'm still mulling over whether it would work. off the top of my head i've got a few scenarios:

A) graendal is balefired by rand in caemlyn just like rahvin is, from which fight rand learns that balefire can permanently kill forsaken.

downside: her future activities in the books would be cut or given to someone else

B) graendal escapes rand in caemlyn and proceeds to carry out her future book activities. rand learns that balefire can permanently kill forsaken from his fight with sammael instead.

downside: that's my emotional support "rand goes crazy with grief over aviendha's and mat's deaths while protecting elayne's home" avimatrandlayne moment, your honor!

also, mat might need to stay with rand longer than he should in order to be present for the sammael fight for Dying And Living Again purposes (so to me, this is actually an upside djfkg but i RELUCTANTLY acknowledge it miiiight be tricky to get mat over to his seanchan storyline if he's with rand this late into the series - tho ofc they could always shuffle stuff around to make the sammael fight happen pre-ebou dar or even pre-dumai's wells)

C) a scenario i don't think is likely but is fun to imagine nonetheless: ELAYNE is the one who ousts graendal from caemlyn, whether killing her permanently or only temporarily, and whether when elayne first arrives in caemlyn (so taking over rand's story beat) or at the end of her succession and/or black ajah hunting arcs (so adding graendal into one or both of those arcs).

downside: it would stray pretty far from book storylines with, perhaps, no real gain

but, upside: elayne would get a Forsaken Archrival of her very own!

all in all, maybe they really aren't planning to introduce graendal until much later & in her book storyline and i'm totally overthinking the namedrop, but graendal in caemlyn is interesting to ponder!

[yogorlhilanne]

BREAKING MY SILENCE

I'll probably make this on Twitter also, though I doubt it'll really attract (on both Tumblr and Twitter) many people but OH MY FUCKING GOD. THIS NEEDS TO BE SAID.

I know OTHER people have probably talked about this (or maybe not)— plus the Harry Potter fandom is probably dead at this point or maybe still thriving somehow in ways I don't really know but LILY FUCKING EVANS MADE THE WORST DECISION POSSIBLE AFTER ENDING HER AND SEVERUS' FRIENDSHIP.

Look, she was like practically a minor character yet was kinda important to the plot but honestly she deserved to be with someone better than James Potter. No hate or dumb reasons are gonna be thrown at Lily but girlie was dumb as fuck entirely for having a kid with her friends bully who made his school life HELL.

It's been on my mind the more I think about Severus' past and James and Sirius bullying.

I genuinely like Sirius as a character but bro cannot be bullying Snape, like sweetheart we know your an inbred rich child but that doesn't mean you should bully someone who's the LITERAL opposite of you. (expect for neglect and abuse)

James was a fucking jock.

LISTEN & IMAGINE. A friend of yours who you've know for maybe about 6 years calls you the worst insult ever, in a fit of rage, you break the friendship and ofc, leave. That's genuinely completely understandable to one who has common sense.

BUT THEN, after that, you go on to marry your ex friends bully that HAS MADE YOUR EX FRIENDS SCHOOL LIFE MISERABLE AND SHITTY.

Sure it's COMPLETELY understandable how Lily can be mad at Severus for calling her a "Mudblood" because that's a canonical slur against muggle-borns, really, BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN SHE HAD TO MARRY SEVERUS' BULLY WHO BULLIED HIM RELENTLESSLY, and that's so fucked up in many ways. And YES. As far as I'm concerned, Lily seemed to only like James because:

He wasn't strongly associated with the dark arts

Wasn't associated with future death eaters/followers of Voldemort

I don't think it's confirmed how long James and Sirius had been bullying Snape but it makes me SOOOO fucking livid that like... HOW THE FUCK DO YOU ACTUALLY LIKE A CHARACTER IF YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND THEIR FLAWS AND HOLD THEM ACCOUNTABLE FOR THEIR ACTIONS? (*Cough Cough* James and Sirius "fans" *COUGH*)

If I'm being 100% honest, I've never seen anyone say "James/Sirius is better than Snape" ever and not even ONCE in my lifetime being in the Harry Potter fandom.

There's really not much on Snape's past during his school years but in all honesty, Lily Evans was dumb as fuck for dating her friends bully like okay, MAYBE James and Sirius did take accountability at one point and confessed to Lily. JUST MAYBE. But I don't remember nor heard anyone saying that was true nor JK Rowling saying anything about them taking accountability.

AND I DON'T THINK THEY EVEN APOLOGIZED TO SNAPE EITHER. (Maybe regretted it but that's not taking accountability for one's actions, perhaps Remus did but never heard anyone saying that was true either because it's probably just a headcannon and Remus probably didn't even bully Snape at all)

Lily Evans... I love you and all and I don't hate you... You just disappointed me.

LIKE IF I WERE IN LILY'S SHOES I WOULDN'T GET TOGETHER WITH JAMES BECAUSE MY FRIEND HAS ALREADY LIVED A HARD LIFE AT HOME, (she probably didn't know but I would've ask Snape what his home life was and would've saved him unlike Lily) AND JUST BECAUSE SNAPE WASN'T RICH NOR GOOD LOOKING DOESN'T MEAN YOU GET A FUCKING PRIVILEGE TO BULL HIM. OR JUST BECAUSE HE FUCKING EXISTED.

Also I get that Lily was mainly mad at Severus because of his Slytherin friends and that he called her a "Mudblood" BUT IGNORING THE FACT HE GOT BULLIED RELENTLESSLY, NEARLY DIED TO A "prank", LIVED IN AN ABUSIVE HOUSEHOLD (she didn't knew that but imma just put it there anyways) AND THAT HE HAD HOPED THAT HOGWARTS WOULD HAVE MADE HIS LIFE BETTER BUT IT GOT DESTROYED, IS UTTERLY DISAPPOINTING AND FLABBERGASTING TO ME.

No hate to people who genuinely ship James and Lily (love the fanarts) but Lily deserved better than that. Perhaps she also knew about the werewolf incident but if I were her I would've BITCH SLAPPED Sirius to remind him of being inbred and stupid as fuck BECAUSE WHAT????

A prank—as far as I acknowledge, shouldn't put someone's life in DANGER and in a LIFE OR DEATH situation SIRIUS 'INBRED' BLACK.

I HAVE NEVER SEEN ANYONE YET TALKING ABOUT THIS AND SHITTING ON LILY (for being flawed ofc yet dumb as shit). Lily in general is a good person but she had flaws that needed to be talked about and HERE I AM.

James & Sirius bullying was ignorant and really unjustifiable, Peter and Remus should've known better but I don't ENTIRELY blame them but they should've known fucking better. Lily WAS understandable up until she got together with James and I kinda wanna bitch slap her right now.

Honestly if I were Lily, I genuinely would've gotten together with Snape and ACTUALLY helped him like any person with COMMON SENSE would do.

And to end it off with a cherry on top. James and Sirius bullying Snape should be talked about more and we should shit on them for their flaws yet ignorance actions that they didn't even try to take any single OUNCE of accountability for. Just because you learned from your bullying mistakes and "becoming a more mature and better person" isn't justifiable and shows your blind fucking ignorance to your affects of bullying to other people you dumb dipshit fucker.

(Will possibly edit this again but I'll post this now bc it's been in my drafts for some time and it NEEDS to be sent out rn)

[tea-with-evan-and-me]

i know this is an unpopular opinion on this blog but the more i think about it the more i come to the conclusion that emma being arrested really had nothing to do with classical dv. i know people and even myself used to come up with the comparison "what if the genders were reversed" but i've come to the realization that you really can't compare women on men violence to real domestic abuse towards a woman, who is physically inferior to the man. it just doesn't hold the same weight knowing that a man would always have the power to physically get himself out of a situation. that he never seriously has to fear for his life (except when weapons are being used ofc but there is no indication of that) the fact that evan did not fight back and "took the punches" makes him a real man in my opinion. he has probably been raised to never raise his hand against a woman regardless of what, and probably just to restrain her and try to calm her down; which i think is what happened in montreal. (purposefully excluding the emotional abuse here which i'm confident is just as bad, not trying to debate that here.) by the way i say this as someone who used to fight everyone who defended emma. which i'm still doing by the way. i think it's safe to assume that emma is one pathetic excuse of a human being for so many other reasons but especially for using violence. so don't get me wrong, she is anything but a victim. i'm just saying that you really cant't put evan in the position of a battered boyfriend as so many fans do, like he was somehow defenselessly cowering in a corner while she was beating down at him. evan at all times had the physical power to end the physical violence. if he did not, that was due to him being a decent human being and being better than to use violence, not because he couldn't. he is the more powerful one of the two. we need to stop infantilizing him in that regard. and i'm sure he never even saw himself as a victim until social media called it out. oh god i know this sounds so wrong and i sound like an asshole because it looks like i'm trying to excuse abuse, but i'm definitely not. evan was 100% abused and a victim and emma is an abuser. i'm rambling. i guess what i'm trying to say is you can't compare the impact of trauma here. while i'm sure evan was traumatized he will still never know what it's like to be a woman in a domestically violent relationship always living in fear and intimidation and never knowing if she makes it out alive. i hope i got my point across and you all don't hate me. i have thought about this for so long from so many different angles. if there is a gap in my conclusion or something i missed feel free to correct me. or maybe this was common knowledge already in which case i apologize! i hope this wasn't offensive or ignorant i'm open to learn.

the gap in conclusion here is that you have a limited viewpoint of what constitutes ''real domestic abuse''. the very concept that some victims deserve to be treated as such, while others don't, is why so many people (male and female) experiencing it live in fear of how they will be treated if they report it. people who say things like you have prove that this is a legitimate concern. the same logic you apply to men's physical abilities is so often applied to women who appear strong mentally, emotionally and have a strong support system who would ensure their safety. who seem like they would never stand for it, yet are hiding bruises from their partner or spouse and living in shame and secrecy because they know others won't understand it. someone doesn't need to be small and fragile, cowering in the corner to be a victim. man or woman.

yes, you're absolutely right - evan had the physical ability to restrain her, which i'm sure he often did. i just ask - why do you need to de-legitimize someone being a ''real'' victim, regardless? everyone knows that men have a physical upper hand and it is not the same scenario as far as ability to fight back, to free yourself physically from someone trying to hurt you. but violence that repeatedly occurs in a romantic relationship can only happen because a perpetrator has mentally broken a victim. many women technically could safely flee from DV situations but don't because they, just like evan did, love the person who is doing this to them and are psychologically conditioned to believe they deserve it, or that they can adjust their own behavior to keep their abuser from hurting them again, and that they will change. you cannot separate these two things and the impact it has on when and if someone leaves.

"you can't compare the impact of trauma here. while i'm sure evan was traumatized he will still never know what it's like to be a woman in a domestically violent relationship always living in fear and intimidation" i'm sorry, who are you to say this? seriously, WHO are YOU to say this about a person? i'm gonna stop here because i think deep down, you know you are wrong and saying things that are incredibly offensive and insensitive. please re-evaluate your line of thinking. it seems like you drank some twitter faux feminist talking point koolaid that's gonna inch you closer and closer to the ''men actually deserve abuse'' vitriol that's all too common. we do not need to compare victims of domestic violence. it can really be as simple as saying that it is never acceptable - it's not a pissing contest. what purpose did this message serve? i am genuinely asking. if this was just rage bait, it worked because this message infuriated me and i had to take a minute in case you're serious and indeed not trying to be a bad person. i really hope that's the case and you consider why there is no need to write me a long message to assert that evan did not suffer enough to qualify as a true-blue victim in your eyes. i didn't need to know you're withholding empathy due to him being male, that's completely on you.

[dykephan]

hi, totally agree with you about the december getting together thing and just wanted to add on to a few points. One about online perceptions and stuff is they mightve both wanted to have this appearance of a cool, sexy, mysterious, emo guy on the internet who is "mature" and has casual sex all the time nbd lol and not wanting to seem clingy. Its kind of embarrasing to want more sometimes (its cheesy, its meant to be). For Dan I also dont think he would want Phil to see him as an obsessed fan (also the age thing) so putting up a nonchalant front would help put them on more even footing. For Phil its just like you already said mainly and not wanting to scare Dan off, following Dan's lead. Also Dan just getting out of a longterm relationship and being 18 he might not have been inclined to tie himself down quick when he was single for the first time in a bit, especially to someone who lives far away, but then obv realized this thing with Phil wasnt just going to be some casual fling. Also lol this "reveal" was not weird/ suprising to me bcos of my own experience of being with this girl for like 3 ish months had been friends previously we were having sex and saying we loved eachother etc but whole time being like we're not dating though lol

oh 100% agree, especially when you're at that age it's sooo embarrassing to admit you do want to find someone who cares about you and enriches your life and shares a future with you... it's so much easier to flirt with strangers online and pretend you're too cool to feel any particular way about it. like you said, i think it comes down to both of them realizing that this was not going to be some casual fling. and 2 months is honestly no time at all considering how much they had to think about & plan for!!

also yeah i agree it wasn't surprising to me it was more just like. first of all like holy shit why are you sharing this information with me unprompted are you sure you meant to say that?? second of all, i guess i didn't KNOW until i KNEW. it's one thing to look at the things they posted around that time period and make guesses, but hearing it out loud made me feel sooooo dumbfounded. idk why but that one hit me way harder than the tour bus thing...

anyway let me share a personal anecdote here because it's only fair after i've invaded their privacy i should embarrass myself a little fksjfks many years ago i started talking to a tumblr mutual and we got super close as friends, we spent literally hours talking every night and we'd even fall asleep on skype just to be with each other. i told her things i have still never told anyone else in my life. and ofc there was heavyy flirting which was fun except i have horrible commitment issues.. doing all this online didn't feel as scary and real to me. but then we made plans to actually travel and meet up, and i started getting. idk. itchy 😭 but i did go across the country to meet her and it was such a perfect weekend, she was so funny and beautiful and even more magnetic in person. it clarified my feelings about her in a way that chatting online never could, but also it scared the shit out of me and so when that weekend was over i went back home and i told her i couldn't do it anymore and that was it. we tried to be friends after that but it just wasn't the same and neither of us had our hearts in it. i still think about her and hope she's doing well but we haven't talked in years

so basically i'm living in the dark dan and phil timeline where they filmed pinof and then said okay bye dude 👍🏻 fuck my stupid baka life

[poupeesdecirque]

Travel Blog - Büsum (North Sea) - 20/21/22 September 24

Took me the whole week to finally have time to write the travel blog for my trip to the north sea. I can tell it was an amazing weekend and a lot of things settled for me, Mom & I had time to talk and we didn't have each other much this year bc it was either me or her traveling or working.

I didn't expect work to mess with me so hard that I wasn't even able to think of putting the photos onto the laptop... I am currently trying to work through a huge backlog. But more important if you are interested read further, a post with some HQ impressions of the trip is queued up and will be posted later on :)

Friday

It was not the first time for us to travel to Büsum, i like the small town it's very relaxed and I love the wattenmeer, i love just walking there and therefore I was looking forward a lot to this trip.

Did you know the area there is known for cabbage? So yes that field is a lot of ... cabbage.

Arrived we were able to check into the Hotel and visited a restaurant that had opened last year in the place a very good pancake place was once before. They had closed in spring though as there was a fire ... I am glad they were able to reopen.

After eating a Kaiserschmarrn we walked around the town. We had planned to take photos later on so we decided it would be best to check restaurants for dinner while taking a stroll. The weather was beautiful and reserving a table was the smarter choice here.

There were truly quite a few interesting things to see... like those french bulldogs (if you take a photo you were asked to donor something for animals which we gladly did).

Then we went out for photos. I took overall 5 dolls with me, can you spot which one got photos here :D?

The day ended with us having dinner at a rather traditional place. This is only the second time I had fish without batter... I am proud I have progressed so far from being a picky eater. It was quite late already, we fell into bed.

Saturday

As you might know I am an early bird... I took the time and went out for a small walk to enjoy the sunrise a bit before we attended the hotel buffet.

The hotel we stayed in is over 100 years old and the walls are decorated with 100.000 shells from all over the world, it was impressive.

My only complain here is that the serving sizes were itty bitty small... like 1 serving of yogurt was 1 teaspoon.. for someone who loves their yogurt it felt weird to get more than two servings (which was still only two teaspoons) :') the buns were like 1/4 of a normal sized one.

Anyways after breakfast we had planned to hike. Morning the Watt would be ours as there was supposed to be ebb and in the afternoon we decided to walk in the other direction this time as Mom never went to Deichhausen.

Inbetween we went to a Cabbage festival, met Mom's cousin and got some snacks. We had to hike over the Deich and there were several herds of sheep munching through the grass.

In Deichhausen we just relaxed for a while before we went back over the Deich and were greeted by a lots of sheep again.

There was also the Manga Day and we went to a Bookshop (I actually restricted myself oh boy so many good books) and I got those three previews for free, it's the first few chapters each. I haven't had the time to read them yet.

Here is my snack from inbetween and what I got for dinner. The Burger is with a potato-vegetable patty, topped with halloumi and roasted veggies. Side was Coleslaw and sweet Potato Fries. If you know me... you know I need to end my day with something sweet.

Then we watched the sunset once more (top photo). I was incredibly beat as I managed to walk almost 35k steps that day and even watching TV in the evening was too loud for me.

Sunday

The last day came way too soon as we only had the half day to hike once more, then we wanted to check out an old car/US car meet up, and ofc the drive home.

Once more itty servings at the breakfast. Can we talk about the croissants? The cereals next to them are NORMAL sized... so tiny.

We took a long stroll in the Watt before we headed to the meet up.

It was really interesting but I have to say the noise, the people and the sunlight lead to a sensory overload for me, I dodged two panic attacks and just wanted to flee :') so we did.

Before we went home we OF COURSE had to buy some cabbage. ... there is a lot of cabbage on my menu this week.

Traveling back took forever because of traffic and blocked roads (4 hours for a 2,5 hour distance). I'm just glad the next time I travel to Hamburg will be by train.

[fangirlanxiety74]

Hetamori: Hetalia Omori AU

This one goes out to you, starchilll.

When it comes to an Omori AU, I think the perfect fit is to focus on the Axis, as well as make this a human AU, because ofc. They would all be aged up just a bit, ie: Omori is 12 in Headspace, Romano would probably be 15 in Headspace. And then aged up to like, 19 in Real World.

Yes, Romano would be Sunny. Give him a protagonist role, cowards!!! I think he'd be an amazing protag, especially for a game like this!!

And yes, that means Italy is Mari.

I think the dynamic between the two is really fitting for them to be Sunny and Mari. Despite being older, it's canon that Romano always feels 2nd-best to his brother, in everything. Everyone likes him more, everyone considers him a closer friend, a better painter, cook, all around person. It sucks. It's awful.

And that... Kinda seems to be how Sunny feels about Mari. At least, with music.

The game gives the context needed to understand it, too. In the Lost Library, we see how frustrated and upset Sunny is about not being able to enjoy time with his friends because he's trying to practice the violin, the entire arc with Sweetheart and how nothing's ever good enough for her, the fight we watch play out in the photographs that lead to Mari's death. Like, clearly Sunny felt some sort of like, anger towards his violin, enough to break it. And I think the same would be for Romano.

I see it playing out like this: Romano picks up the violin first. It's his thing. Music is the one thing he can be good at without Italy interfering. Then, shocker, Italy wants to join his brother because he loves him and wants to do things with him!! He picks piano. And Italy, ofc, is better at piano that Romano is at violin.

It sucks. It's awful. It causes so much anger that, when the time comes for their recital, Romano breaks the violin, and when Italy confronts him, pushes him down.

He didn't mean it. Ofc he didn't mean it, that's his brother, yes he's angry- he doesn't hate him, though. Does he? Could he ever? Not enough to kill him.

But it's too late. He can't take that back.

And as Omori goes, someone helps him to hide the accident. And Romano represses the memory, isolates himself, and sleeps all day and night to pretend everything is okay.

But it doesn't work. Something will always follow behind him. Something will always try to lead him back to the truth.

Smth of that nature, anyway.

As far as the others. I think Spain is the best fit for Kel, given their relationship (And I can totally see Spain knocking on Romano's door every day for 4 years trying to get him to come outside). Germany would be Hero, ofc, given his relationship to Italy.

Which comes down to Basil and Aubrey.

Basil - Japan Aubrey - Prussia.

So this one I kinda need to stretch more and consider their personalities rather than their relationships with the other characters.

Prussia I think is less of a stretch, I do think it's within his character to go down the route Aubrey does in the game if someone that close to him did pass on and he had no support. And well, he can't turn to Germany who is dealing with his own grief, Romano became a shut in, Spain probably tried to help but if he's also doing well and making new friends and everything then, yk, the feeling of abandonment is still there.

Plus, canonically, Prussia is very close to Italy (at least from what I remember). He does have religious ties, he has that vibe of being scary and intimidating, I think it can work.

As for Japan. That's the hardest.

I think Japan could end up in Basil's place. We already know he canonically isolated himself for like, 100 years (? (I say canonically as if this wasn't a real life event)). And if he's the one who helped Romano hide the accident, then yeah, isolating and going crazy from guilt isn't off the table. But I am also borrowing this idea from his role in Dreamtalia, sooo. Idk.

Why he would help Romano is also very complicated. The reason would have to change or the relationship would have to change to make it work. But it's an AU so it's not like it has to be 100% accurate.

Idk, I think it's fun, this is really just meant to be a "what if" scenario unless I decide to make this into a fanfiction. My only real gripe is Prussia and Japan's roles (mainly Prussia. I so wish the allies could work in this scenario cause England would make the PERFECT Aubrey but whatever)

Idk. Anyone have thoughts?

Italy better watch for the stairs-

[raccoon-eyed-rebel]

Part 4 - A quick fix

Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Part 3 -- Part 5

Pairing: Napoleon Solo x OFC (Genevieve Lennox)

Summary: When the Econ professor finds out about Napoleon and Walker's illegal side hustle, someone has to fix this mess...

Warnings: SMUT, NSFW, 18+ , Minors DNI! Age gap (Leon is in his 20s and Gen is in her 40s), a very much NOT OK teacher-student relationship, blackmail (100% definitely. Bad Leon. Bad.), p-in-v (they use a condom though, so that's one redeeming factor, maybe...), fingering, semi-publix sex (? It's a locked office, but it's still an office...), Do I need to make it clear again that he fucks a teacher? I think it's clear at this point.

Word count: 3.1 k

A/N: In case you skipped the warnings; Leon fucks a teacher. Now that's not okay - he knows that, that's why he does it. Lots of questionable things going on here. I'm trying to reason with Leon that this shouldn't be the beginning of a very wrong affair, but these characters live rent free in my head and I just write out their shenanigans. There really isn't much I can do. I'm sorry...

“Solo.” Gruff, annoyed and typically Walker. Napoleon looked up from the pile of books and documents that were fanned out on the desk in front of him at the man who casually stood in the doorway of his room, leaning against the frame as the embodiment of indifference. “We have a problem.” He stepped into the room and shut the heavy wooden door behind him a little harder than strictly necessary.

“Sounds serious,” Napoleon faked a yawn and turned his attention back to whatever he’d been doing. 

“It is serious,” Walker growled. It didn’t seem to impress the man at the desk much. August found himself seething at the nonchalance of his associate. “Could you tear your eyes away from your naked ladies for a second and fucking listen, please.” Napoleon looked up at him with raised eyebrows and scoffed. While shaking his head, he turned back to the painting he had been looking at. 

“I think reducing Baroque art to ‘naked ladies’ is below even you, Walker,” he slammed the book shut and picked it up to put it back on the shelf behind him. “But I’m curious to find out what has you so desperate for my attention.”

“Marshall.” August snarled through clenched teeth. “He snitched.” The heavy book slipped from Napoleon’s fingers and fell. 

“Motherf…” He caught it in the nick of time and slammed it down on the desk so hard he actually startled August. “Next time, lead with that, would you?” 

“Next time? Let’s make sure there is no next time, Solo.” Napoleon wasn’t quite sure whether Walker meant they should go about their efforts more carefully in the future, or if he was suggesting murder, but right now, he didn’t give a rat’s ass. 

“What do you know?” Napoleon asked, running a hand through his hair, voice dripping with desolation. He groaned as he pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and index finger. “What does he know?” He started clearing away papers and gestured to the armchair that stood on the other side of the desk. 

“Sit, would you?” It was an instruction rather than an invitation, which August would have found annoying, had it come from anyone other than Leon. The thought made him chuckle. 

“Did you just laugh?” Napoleon asked in disbelief. 

“Hardly.” August scowled. “Maybe after rearranging Marshall’s face.” His voice was too light for such a grim message. 

“We can get back to that, later.” Though violence wasn’t his preferred modus operandi, Napoleon couldn’t help but feel an overwhelming urge to knock Marshall down a peg. “I’m going to need some more information.”

“Econ,” Walker groaned. “Fucker talked to Lennox. No idea what he told her. Or how much.”

“Lennox,” Napoleon pondered, “could be worse. Do you know if he named us?” He liked to think Marshall wouldn’t go that far, they were friends after all. Walker shrugged: he didn’t know either. 

“This may sound like a radical idea, but what if we just ask him?” Napoleon said. “Provided you can manage to not punch him in the dick.” 

“I can promise I’ll try.” This time, Walker did laugh. 

“Take your fucking hands off me, Walker, or so help me God!” 

“Fucking hell, August, that lasted all of two seconds.” Deep down, Napoleon had known he should be the one doing the talking. August Walker did not deal in subtlety. It usually didn’t matter: he had plenty of other qualities that had been invaluable for keeping their little operation in business. He shared Napoleon’s keen mind - though perhaps a bit more insidious - and his creativity, stealth and, if need be, his charm, but damn it, was he quick to fly off the handle. “Let go, Walker. Listen, Marshall, we’re not looking for a fight…” 

“Have you told him that?” Marshall asked while straightening his sweater. 

“Just tell us what you told Lennox, Marshall.” August said gruffly. 

“Told Lennox about what, Walker?” It was hardly a provocation, but Walker had Marshall pinned back against the wall within seconds. 

“August!” It was as if the clouds broke and the sun shone down upon them once more, so angelic was that voice and so heavenly the timing of its owner. “Let go.” She said it in a tone so icy that it could have frozen the pits of hell. Marshall, who had enough experience with Walker to know not to provoke him and enough experience with the irate woman who now stormed up the stairs to know that August might actually listen to her, made every effort to stand still and do nothing. Sure enough, Walker’s grip on Marshall’s sweater once again loosened. 

“So, now that no one is in any mortal danger,” Napoleon said casually, “my office, Marshall, please.” He gestured to his room. Marshall heeded the request without further complaints. Walker followed the both of them, leaning against the wall next to the door, seemingly unable to calm down.

“It appears Lennox knows more than she should, and Walker seems convinced you’re involved in that, somehow.” Leon said with a vague gesture to August.

“Liz Keene came over to ask me about a term paper for econ, in the hallway. Lennox must have overheard. That’s the only thing I can think of.” His answer seemed genuine, so Leon decided to believe him.

“Am I free to go?” Marshall growled, his voice drenched with - arguably justifiable - hostility and signature British sarcasm, before rising from his seat. Napoleon mouthed a silent apology to Walter, who just nodded in reply. He knew August, and he’d forgive him - eventually. Leon got up and pulled his coat off the hook by the door.  

“Where the hell do you think you’re going, Solo?” Walker asked in disbelief.

“I’m going to fix this, Walker,” he snapped back, “Don’t wait up.” 

"Professor Lennox, allow me!" Leon opened the door. Genevieve Lennox’ head peeked from behind a large stack of papers. "Can I help you with those?" Without waiting for an answer, he took some of the papers off the top. 

"Thank you, mister Solo," she said ungratefully, "but I am more than capable of carrying those myself." This was going to be harder than he'd anticipated. 

"I don't doubt it," he said, showing no intention of putting the papers back, "but please, humor me, miss Lennox."

"That's doctor Lennox to you, mister Solo."

"Call me Leon, doctor Lennox." He said with a sly smile on his face. The pair resumed Lennox' earlier route to her office.

"After you, doctor," Napoleon said, gesturing at the professor to step into her office. 

"How kind of you to invite me into my own office, Leon," professor Lennox said through gritted teeth. Despite her objections, she stepped into the room and placed the papers on the file cabinet. Napoleon followed her in, allowing the door to fall shut behind him. 

"Now that I have you here," Genevieve said as she sat down in the chair behind her desk, "what is this I hear about your... extracurricular endeavors?"

Here we go, he thought. From the way she spoke, he could tell that there was a possibility that she would be harder to sway than he had initially expected. He walked over to the side of the desk and half-sat on it. She looked up at him with one cocked eyebrow; Napoleon’s reputation preceded him, yet she’d never expected this level of insolence. 

"Whatever are you referring to, professor?" Napoleon could feign innocence the way a fish could feign the ability to fly: not at all. Genevieve didn't believe a word the man was saying. Besides, she had clearly overheard the conversation between Walter Marshall and Elizabeth Keene. No, she most definitely wasn't intent on swaying on the matter, no matter his devilish tactics. He, on the other hand, had to get to the bottom of this, and he really didn’t consider a recent divorcée much of an obstacle.

Genevieve looked up at the charming young man who sat so boldly on her desk. She swallowed hard, in an attempt to calm her heart. This man, with his charming ways and effortlessly seductive smile, had the expected effect on most of the female staff - though most of them were easily twenty years his senior. It was the university’s worst kept secret that a fair amount of faculty members would spread their legs for the man without a second thought - and rumor had it that some of them had. Genevieve had never considered herself one of those ladies. But now that he was here, leaning against her desk with his thigh slung so haphazardly over it - a strong, thick thigh that made her mind run wild... 

"Mister Solo, please sit down." She gestured to an empty chair in the office. He sunk down in it, and before Genevieve could be glad to be rid of his thigh in her near vicinity, he allowed his knees to fall to the sides slightly, which drew her attention to even more inappropriate places. 

"Now, doctor Lennox, what exactly are you accusing me of?"

"I am not accusing you of anything, mister Solo," Genevieve managed to choke out despite being otherwise engaged, "I am only relaying what I have heard."

"Gossip, miss Lennox, is hardly evidence for any illicit activity." He got up and leaned over her desk, eyes locked on hers. "I doubt anyone will take such accusations seriously. Perhaps they will not be without consequences, either."

"Are you threatening me, Napoleon?"

"Nothing of the sort, Genevieve," Napoleon said, the grin on his face widening. "I am simply pointing out that hearsay is never as good as firsthand experience." Everything about that sentence was dripping with innuendo. He could almost hear her heart pound in her chest from where he was standing. He walked around the desk, slowly, watching her turn her chair to follow him. She got up before he got to her, almost falling back into the chair as she hit it when she took a step back - Napoleon settled on standing just that little bit too close to her. 

"Mister Solo, this is entirely inappropriate." She pushed the chair out of the way while taking another step back. Step by step, he backed her against the wall of her office. 

When his name left her lips once again, it was no more than a whisper. "Napoleon..." Their bodies were almost touching, she had no prayer of escaping him: if he wanted her, she was his, though she doubted he was that brutish. It was a matter of seconds before their lips touched - he could have sworn she was the one who kissed him. Near-immediately, she pulled away. 

"Napoleon, we can't." She whispered before he pressed his lips against hers again. 

"We shouldn't." This time, it was a moan rather than a whisper. 

"Tell me to stop," Napoleon said softly in her ear, "ask me to leave, and I will." She couldn't bring herself to do it no matter how much she knew she should. With every passing second the heat between her legs grew and she longed for the touch of the young man before her more and more. This time, she pressed her lips to his, and it was her who trailed her tongue along his lips, begging for entrance. He let her in, and as the passion in their kisses grew, so did her arousal - and his, though he wasn't one to let that be known too easily. His hands found her waist and held her firmly against the wall, his lips sought out her neck. She moaned with pleasure as he traced soft kisses from her neck to her collarbone. A strong hand kneaded her ass while the other opened the buttons of her blouse, revealing a sheer lace bra. Her nipples poked through the fabric; she winced when he ran a thumb over one. Soft kisses and licks created a wet trail down her chest to her generous cleavage, where they were replaced by sucking and nibbling - sometimes gentle but more often enticingly rough. The hand on her behind began to push her skirt up until it sat around her hips before reaching between their bodies and slipping into her underwear. She pressed her mound against his hand, wanting nothing more than for him to continue exploring her body in the most intimate ways. She whimpered when his fingers slid down, parting her folds, granting him access to her wet slit. The fabric of her bra got pushed down so his mouth could envelop her nipple, and Napoleon relished her whines and moans as he circled it with his tongue. Every fiber in her body screamed at her that they should stop, that this was wrong - she was a teacher, for crying out loud - but she couldn't bring herself to break away from his touch.

Never before had any man made her feel like this - least of all her son of a bitch ex-husband. Hell, she was just taking a page from his playbook. He'd gone public with that little skank of his the day after her graduation - their divorce hadn't even been finalized! It was obvious they'd been having an affair while she was still his student, and yet he had still managed to get tenure. The little bitch had even had the audacity to apply for a post-graduate position with hér research team! She…

Napoleon's teeth clamped around her nipple, which dragged her away from her thoughts. Slowly, so incredibly slowly that she thought she might pass out from eagerness, two of his fingers worked their way inside her core and sought out that precious spot inside of her that made her squirm. It took him seconds - séconds! Her ex-h... 

"Stop thinking about him," Napoleon hummed against her chest as he lifted her leg to his hip to give him easier access. From his tone sprang amusement, so too from his eyes and devilish smile. His fingers worked her drenched cunt furiously while his thumb rolled over her clit. When she reached her peak, she pulled his face to hers - a wise choice, as it muffled the sounds of her ecstasy just enough to not be audible from outside the office. 

When he pulled away, she stopped him and trailed a long nail down his chest, over his stomach and down to his hips before cupping the bulge in his trousers with her hand. 

"What about you?" She asked, with the most suggestive of looks in her dark eyes. 

"It's alright, you deserved that." He couldn't help but play with her a little, though his words weren't completely insincere. 

"I want you, Leon," her words were music to his ears, but he pretended to hesitate for a second. It was more than enough. 

"Please, take me," she panted. This was exactly how he liked them; desperate and begging - and she'd been halfway there when he got here. He sighed. 

"Lock the door." He watched as Lennox pulled her skirt down and her blouse so that it looked somewhat decent and hurried to the door to turn the lock. Meanwhile, he rummaged around in his bag for a condom - this woman may have been over forty, he wasn't taking any chances. When he got up, she immediately took his face in her hands and shoved her mouth against his, kissing him frantically as she pushed him into her desk. Her neediness was almost funny to him, but he felt bad for her at the same time. He banned those thoughts from his head; he wasn't here to convince himself that he was doing this for her. He was here because it was his ass - and Walker's, though he wasn’t particularly keen on thinking about him too much right now - on the line. She sucked on his bottom lip while her hands were busy with his belt. When she finally pulled his trousers and underwear down, and his cock sprang free, she gasped. It was a familiar reaction; most women responded this way - except the ones who later turned out to have already had a run-in with Charles, and that was a surprisingly large category. Rumor had it that he was blessed with similar equipment, though Napoleon couldn't testify to that. He took advantage of her stupor to turn both of them around and put her up on the edge of the desk. Genevieve tried to pull him against her as soon as he let go of her, but he held her off, nonchalantly waving the condom in front of her. 

"I don't think we need a scandal," he chuckled at her. He put it on like he'd done it a hundred times before - he had - and teased her cunt with his tip. 

"Please," she mouthed, barely able to produce a sound. Leon raised an eyebrow at her questioningly. "Fuck me." He didn't make her ask a second time. He pulled her panties to the side with one hand and guided his cock to her throbbing core with the other. He covered her mouth with his hand as a precaution - a sound choice, because when he slid into her, she couldn't stifle a cry. To his surprise, he had quite a lot of trouble keeping quiet himself. 

"Fuck, that's good," he groaned as he sank into her with ease, using one hand to push his trousers further down his thighs to prevent her soaking pussy from making a mess of them. He started off slow, but soon found that there was no need to - other than the wish to drag this out, but given the precariousness of the situation, he couldn't wait for it to be over no matter how good it was. He kept his hand on her mouth as she squealed every time he thrust deep into her dripping core. She shot him a guilty look when her hand moved in between their bodies to relieve the ever growing ache between her legs. 

"Go ahead, help yourself," he moaned into her ear. As her fingers began to draw swift circles around her swollen clit, he picked up his pace, driving himself deep into her with every thrust of his hips. Her hand, his cock and those perfect lips latched onto her nipple were the perfect recipe for a swift and easy journey to heavenly bliss. She tumbled down as he continued his relentless pace, allowing the clenching of her walls to guide him to his own climax. He finished just as she was about to beg him to stop because she simply couldn’t take any more, allowing himself a swift moment to catch his breath before the both of them got caught up in hastily tucking in and buttoning all the things that had been untucked and unbuttoned.  “I trust we can keep this between us, doctor Lennox,” and with a wink, he disappeared.

-> Part 5