#one dude i worked with got a mini pig

[barbwalken]

Ganondorf is a silly prince AU and Zelda says fuck a lot

[xstarlightxstarbrightx]

mini rambles #1

LISTEN I GOT COVID DON'T @ ME RN ALRIGHT.

okey cool back to me yapping as i continue to procrastinate Inazuma b/c FuCk InAzUmA

[ The Dainsleif Quest ]

Kaeya met Dainsleif here b/c he goes w/ Lumi just abt everywhere

yes i know they actually canonically meet later, dw abt it, i've already thought through e v e r y t h i n g

i'm just gonna say it. dainsleif doesn't help us as much as everyone says he does. he told us just as much abt our sibling as anyone else, the only difference is that he's actually met our sibling.

lumi has emotional turmoil abt 90% of the time whenever she hears abt her sibling, once again, being apart of the abyss order. it succ. why is this happening, bro

also the inverted statue was Fucking Terrifying(tm) to Lumi due to how she vibes w/ the world (and how i've h/c'd it so far), so yeah, that was a tummy twister right there.

[ Outside of Dainsleif Quest ]

while waiting for a Sign(tm) abt Inazuma, Lumi and Kaeya proceed to do the following:

solve a Ruin Guard problem in Liyue

somehow managed to keep Klee out of trouble for the most part in Mondstadt

run into and meet Mona (who found them both Particularly Interesting)

hang out a lot w/ Zhongli now that he's free to do things

discover that Third Round Knockout has discounts at 3pm b/c Zhongli likes to go there like every fuckin day. very nice.

meet Yun-Jin, Beidou, and Shenhe

fix the Jade Chamber

made a lot of pirate jokes abt Beidou (and Kaeya, on Lumi's part)

broke a mechanism in Liyue three times, much to Cloud Retainer's annoyance (don't ask)

became probably the most yapped abt duo in Liyue and Mondstadt combined (not for the reasons u'd think, they're known as "the Brats")

became well-known in Treasure Hoarder circles for a completely different reason from being "the Brats". if u mention the Traveler or her Mondstadt envoy around them, they either break out into a cold sweat and start shaking or they actively disappear. no one is sure why. Lumine and Kaeya do not elaborate.

have had to keep Paimon from breaking into the Golden House (four times, now).

obtained the Serenitea pot. Lumi couldn't figure out how to utilize it for a hot minute, which prompted a three day long journey into figuring out JUST what the fuck they needed to make a fucking bed.

[ Other Bits and Baubles I wanna Mention ]

Kaeya has had to keep Lumine from falling from like seven different scams. not b/c she's an idiot, but more b/c she likes to see how far the scammer is willing to go and tends to go overboard.

Lumine has become an insane penny pincher in a short amount of time. Kaeya is slightly intimidated by this; he's not sure how she keeps track of the Mora they get so meticulously--it's not like she's taking notes every time she collects a coin??? how the fuck does she know exactly where that 49 Mora came from????

Zhongli is often working at the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor rn, giving the whole "normal dude" thing a try. He goes to Third Round Knockout every day at like 3pm (b/c they have discounts at that time and it's peak story telling time), and Lumi and Kaeya never miss a chance to sit in with him.

Paimon is a feral toddler who's OBSESSED w/ food. Lumine struggling to keep up w/ her demands but it's fine she's discovered the Frozen King Pig in Dragonspine. Also Xiangling sometimes stops by to cook for them now (Mondstadt was wild y'all).

Kaeya and Lumi work to build up their very tiny teapot abode during the small moments they have between adventuring and helping people out. It's ain't much but it's honest work.

[brainddeadd]

Braindead Reviews

The Walking Dead: Season 4

Overall thoughts:

Daryl brain rot.

Fuck the Governor.

What kind of ending is that!!!

S4, ep 1

They’ve made the prison look good man 

Oh damn it’s a full community 

That’s so cool 

They’ve got a mini farm and vegetable crops holy shit 

Carl naming a pig even though they’re gonna have to kill it for food 

Everyone greeting Daryl and him not knowing what the fuck to do with that 

“Just so you know, I liked you first.” Carol I love you 

HES SO AWKWARD I LOVE HIM 

THE AGGRESSIVE FINGER LICKING DARYL PLEASE 

The longer hair is lookin good damn 

How’d they make my man finer 

“Sorry, Pookie” CAROL MY BELOVED 

He is now my Pookie 

Always and forever Pookie 

TYRESE AND MAMA STILINSKI ?!?!?!?

BETH AND RANDO ?!?!?!?

“It’s a damn romance novel.” Its ok Pookie, you’re just lonely 

Michonne on a horse.. is there anything this lady can’t do ??

Michonne bringing back comics for Carl - mother 

“Your face is losing the war.” YES PLEASE SHAVE IT BACK A BIT 

She’s looking for the Governor and I get it but please stay safe my love

“Dad, that’s for kids.” You are the kids Carl. 

Holy shit she’s a person 

Not the kids naming the walkers 

HOMICIDE COP 🤣🤣🤣

DARYL FUCKING WITH HIM 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Oh holy crap - the helicopter crash and shit on the roof 

Michonne killing the cardboard cutout of the zombie in the shop 

Ex-army medic guy is kinda weird 

Jesus christ dude that’s one way to get the walkers attention 

Oh shit not the roof caving in 

Idk how I feel about the chick in the woods 

Oh YUCK the scalp being left on the floor as the walker gets up 

Beths rando getting killed shit 

Carol teaching the kids how to defend themselves during Story Time 

Maggie thought she was pregnant ?!?!?!?

Daryl telling Beth - how was he the best person for that job 

“Just tired of losing people is all.” Pookie 

DOES HE NOT KNOW HOW TO HUG 

Oh god there’s a sickness in the prison 

DON’T USE THE COMMUNAL WATER DICKHEAD YOU’LL GET EVERYONE SICK 

OH SHIT 

HE’S DEAD 

S4, ep 2

WHOS LURING THE WALKERS TO THE PRISON 

Tyrese please don’t sing 

Please don’t let Mama Stilinski die 

Glenn taking a polaroid of Maggie and refusing to throw it away my loves I adore them 

Michonne is that boys mother, you can’t tell me otherwise 

“It ain’t a breech.” No it’s not pookie 

Jesus that’s so many dead 

Carol having to kill that man and his eldest daughter deciding to do it 

Daryl knowing that one of the dead locked himself in cause he used to sleep walk 

“Gotta be.” Pookie you can say you’re not ok

The mans 2 daughters are fucken weird 

Michonne not wanting to hold Judith - hmm, I have thoughts 

MICHONNE CRYING 

IDSVUDSJKVNDS

NO THE POOR PIGS FUCK

WHYD THAT MAKE ME CRY 

THEIR PANICKED SQUEALING 

NO 

PLEASE NO

THEY BURNT MAMA STILINSKI AND THE OTHER DUDE ?!?!?!?!

S4, ep 3

Daryl stopping Rick and Carol from stepping in with Tyrese 

Rick and Tyrese fighting 

Sasha getting sick fuck 

“He’s already given me fleas.” 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Tyrese dude, she’s dead and its an apocalypse, keep others alive before you hunt down whoever burnt her 

GOD 

NO 

NOT GLENN 

PLEASE NO 

Daryl working on the car.. fuck 

“Put a bolt in them for what they did.” Please do pookie

Why am I suspicious of the child ???

Carl’s growing up 

“What’s that word?” “Zananavere” “Yeah, we need you.” So real for that - yes, I spelt it wrong

A voice on the radio 

THATS A LOT OF WALKERS HOLY SHIT 

“Make a run for the woods and don’t stop for nothing.” Daryl baby, if they don’t stop for you, ill kill them 

Why is tyrese just sitting there? Run boy 

Not him sacrificing himself for the others 

HE’S ALIVE

Wait

CAROL burnt them 

Holy shit

S4, ep 4

Daryl taking something back for the people at the prison - for a grave

Michonne’s smile 

Of course Daryl can Hotwire a car 

The 2 in the house are a bit.. idk 

More mechanic Daryl my beloved 

Daryl is so comforting in such a brutal way 

“It was easier than telling an ER nurse I fell down the stairs for the third time.” I know he’s dead, but imma kill him 

The chick from the house is dead 

“You should have kept walking that day.” Fuck ok 

Feral Daryl getting up in his face - Jesus 

Daryl’s growling 

“You take one sip before those meds get into our people, I will beat your ass into the ground.” I don’t think that should have been that attractive to me 

Rick dude, they were gonna die. Y’all didn’t even have a plan to go get the meds when she killed them.

Rick you can’t kick Carol out the fuck is wrong with you 

If she goes, Daryl goes man 

RICK

DON’T YOU DARE 

I hate you Rick Grimes 

S4, ep 5

I hate you Rick Grimes 

The kid treating the walker like a dog 

OH SHIT THE FENCE IS DOWN 

Its all gone to shit 

Not Daryl and the others arriving back after it’s all been done 

Oh god they have to tell Daryl 

His instant concern 

NOT THE FUCKEN GOVERNOR 

FUCK OFF

JUST DIE ALREADY 

S4, ep 6

Oh please don’t let this be an episode about the fucken governor yuck 

Oh these poor people that have found him 

Yeah I skipped his episode soz fuck that guy 

S4, ep 7

Its still him fuck 

Skipped 

Not him coming across Michonne and Hershel at the end 

S4, ep 8

HE TOOK MICHONNE AND HERSHEL

Daryl’s growl while talking about Carol being gone 

Who’s leaving the fucken rats around 

Governor fuck off now 

Go die 

Jesus Christ 

Daryl don’t let Carl do anything stupid 

The governor is fucking insane 

Hershel looks so proud of Rick 

NO 

NO 

NO 

NO 

ABSOLUTELY NOT 

NO 

WHAT THE FUCK 

NO

HERSHAL PLEASE 

YES THE GOVERNOR WAS HIT 

DARYLS GROWL BEFORE HE STARTS SHOOTING 

MICHONNE RUN

LIVE 

PLEASE 

YOU GOTTA LIVE 

Oh god not Rick getting shot 

NO 

DON’T HURT HERSHAL MORE 

FUCK

OH OH OH YES

THE NEW CHICK SEEING HIM BE SO FUCKING VILE WHILE HOLDING HER DEAD DAUGHTER YES 

Daryl my beloved with the grenade 

Beth where the fuck are you 

The little kids killing someone 

The Governor getting the best of Rick 

MICHONNE GETTING THE GOVERNOR 

YES

HELL YEAH

THATS MY GIRL 

Daryl throwing a grenade in the tank 

Well.. the prison’s gone 

S4, ep 9

Michonne getting her walkers on a leash again 

Rick being a dick ngl

They’re both being dicks

FLASH BACK TO MICHONNE’S LIFE 

SHE HAD A PARTNER 

AND A CHILD 

Carl stop talking to your dad while he’s unconscious 

“I’d be fine if you died.” CARL NO

Him running into the door and not being able to open it 🤣🤣🤣🤣

The walker in the house 

‘Walker in side. Got my shoe. Didn’t get me.’ 

Fuck Michonne 

Carl thinking he’s going to have to kill his dad is fucking heartbreaking 

“112 ounces of pudding.” That- Carl- ok

Michonne crying because she’s so happy to find them 

WHAT DID RICK SEE TO MAKE HIM LAUGH

S4, ep 10

DARYLLLL

Conveying he’s sorry for the Hershal comment with his expression rather than words is such a Daryl thing to do 

Arms 

He’s so gentle but in a like.. brutal way 

Throwing the crossbow on the ground so he can save Beth 

Oh Tyrese has Judith, thank god 

I don’t trust those 2 little girls 

Who’s screaming????

AYO GET OUR HAND OFF THE BABIES MOUTH 

The eldest kid is a fucking psychopath 

CAROLLLLLL

Terminus … do we trust it ??

Glenn boy you better be ok 

HE’S IN THE OVERRUN PRISON HOLY SHIT 

“She’s my wife.” Hell yeah she is buddy 

WHO ARE THESE GUYS THE FUCK

“What else you got?” Ew 

S4, ep 11

Carl and Michonne acting like besties 

Not Carl ignoring her attempt to make him feel better 

Her telling Carl about her son 

What is going on in the house Rick’s hiding in ???

THE RICK GRIMES HEAD TURN 

Abraham, Rosita, Eugene 

How can he possibly know what caused this ???

How can someone in a fucking zombie apocalypse be that useless with a gun ?!?!?!

Oh yuck - those guys are disgusting - Rick, kill them 

Actually, Michonne, kill them 

Rosita going with Glenn and the other chick - the others following 

Terminus again 

S4, ep 12

DARYL YES

Not him and Beth hiding in the trunk of a car 

The snake 🤢🤢🤢🤢

Beth you’re like 17, you’re not having alcohol 

Daryl has forgotten how to talk I see 

WHY YOU FLIPPING HIM OFF 

HES KEEPING YOU ALIVE 

DUMBASS 

Why is she so fixated on alcohol like girly leave it alone - if you gotta run for your life, alcohol is gonna make that so much harder 

Daryl keeping the money and the jewels 

‘Rich bitch’ on a dead woman who’s been posed on a mannequin - Beth being bothered by it and Daryl probably knowing people who would have done that 

Daryl beating the crap out of the walker, even though he could have just killed him quickly - thats the first time he’s shown any outward sign of his rage at losing the prison and the others 

“Peach schnapps. Is it good?” “No.” Correct 

Daryl throwing darts at the pictures of the people on the wall instead of the dart board - the anger continues 

“Ain’t gonna have your first drink be no damned peach schnapps.” 🤣🤣

MOONSHINE 

DARYL SHES LIKE 12 

“That’s a real first drink right there.” DARYL 

Jesus Christ that’s how Daryl lived 

“Mr. Dixon” eugh 

WHY IS SHE DOING A DRINKING GAME WITH HIM

GIRLY IK HES HOT BUT YOURE A CHILD 

“I ain’t never needed a game to get lit before.” Pookie please 

Things we learn about Daryl in this game

He’s never been out of Georgia 

Been drunk and done things he’s regretted - a lot of them 

Never been on vacation - camping was for hunting and survival 

Him being offended when she does the “never been in jail” line - “is that what you think of me?”

“CAN’T HEAR YOU! I’M TAKING A PISS!!” DARYL PLEASE 

Things we might have learnt but it could be fake cause he’s pissed

never had frozen yoghurt (now that’s just cruel) 

had a pet pony

got anything from Santa

relied on anyone for protection 

relied on anyone for anything (you were abused pookie)

never sung in front of people in public like it was fun (ok that one’s fair)

cut his wrists looking for attention (low blow)

Aggressively trying to teach her how to shoot the crossbow - wonder how much Norman apologised for the physicality later 

“I want you to stop acting like you don’t give a crap about anything. Like nothing we went through matters. Like none of the people we lost meant anything to you. It’s bullshit.” “Is that what you think?” “That’s what I know.”

“I ain’t afraid of nothing.” 

Oh god his voice cracks 

A HUG 

FOR DARYL 

FINALLY 

BRO NEEDS IT 

NO NO NO NO DONT YOU DARE CRY DARYL DIXON MY POOR HEART WONT TAKE IT 

“Yeah, I’m a dick when I’m drunk.” Pookie, you’re a dick like 97% of the time

“I thought I was dead. Over a dumb cartoon about a talking dog.” Daryl, sweetie, I’m so glad your brother is dead.

“I was nobody. Nothing. Some redneck asshole and an even bigger asshole for a brother.” 

“I’m just used to this. Things being ugly.”

“You’re gonna be the last man standing.” I see that 

“You’re gonna miss me so bad when I’m gone, Daryl Dixon.” Fucken foreshadowing at this point 

I can not for the life of me tell if she’s flirting with him or not 

ARE THEY ACTUALLY GONNA BURN THE HOUSE DOWN 

Crazy assholes actually did it 

S4, ep 13

Who is this?

Is this the ‘backstory’ of the dude who wanted the alcohol?????

It is alcohol man!!

Ok so with Maggie and Sasha 

Teaching Beth how to track and use the crossbow 

Dad!Daryl to the rescue when Beth gets hurt 

“This is a serious piggyback. Jump up.” Daryl marry me

Holding hands for comfort: cute. But if its anything else.. GIRLY HIS BEARD IS GOING GREY ADN YOU ARE A CHILD 

Sasha trying to get them safe and Maggie lost in her grief 

Daryl yuck don’t do that (do that to me tho) - the jar in the house by the cemetery 

Why’s she playing the piano - they’re meant to be quiet 

“This is the comfiest bed I’ve had in years.” IT’S A COFFIN DARYL 

I am Concerned Daryl Dixon 

How is a coffin the comfiest bed ?!?!?!? SIR??

I am trying really really hard to keep it that she is a child and he’s old enough to be her dad - PLEASE DONT BE A CREEP DIXON SHE’S 17 

I did some googling cause it was bothering me - they met when Beth was 16, she’s currently 17 and she dies when she’s 18. If ANYTHING happens between them, I’m turning off. (I knew she died it’s not a spoiler).

Maggie ditching the others to look for Glenn - writing messages in blood 

Daryl is at peak dad energy this episode 

A DOG 

CUTE 

Beth stop pushing the emotionally constipated man for his feelings 

NOT JUST A DOG

PLEASE LET THE DOG BE OK

Making sure she gets out the house safely 

WAS BETH JUST KIDNAPPED ?!?!?!?!

God he was running all night 

ALCOHOIC AND SASHA KISSING 

Maggie waiting for Sasha and Bob in the town 

Who the fuck has found Daryl?

IT’S THE CREEPS FROM THE HOUSE RICK WAS IN 

Glenn found the Terminus sign, thank god 

S4, ep 14

Is someone playing.. with a walker 

This eldest girl is fucken weird 

WHY THE FUCK IS SHE WAVING AT THE WALKERS 

The younger girl is also fucken weird 

Jesus Christ what the fuck is she doing 

She’s feeding the fucken walker 

THE OLDER ONE KILLED THE YOUNGER ONE 

THE FUCK

She was feeding the walkers at the prison 

Fucken hell 

Carol having to kill the girl she was supposed to protect is foul and cruel 

Telling Tyrese that she burnt the others, giving him a gun - holy shit 

“I forgive you.” Oh 

S4, ep 15

Abraham is really good at reading people 

Glenn taking off when he finds the sign from Maggie 

Daryl bby leave those creeps 

Carl and Michonne having fun together 

Oh you did not just invade on Daryl’s kill AND call Daryl Dixon “boy”. You gone die 

OH HES TALKING ABOUT BETH 

YOU GONE DIE 

Did this fucker just insinuate that ?!?!?! 

Daryl kill him 

He looks like a lil kid having his candy taken from him 

Don’t stop at noon - wasting time 

“Some of you ain’t exactly friendly.” Have you met you?

Did he just compare Daryl to a cat ???

Eugene is creepy 

And annoying 

Rosita queen 

What did they see? 

Dickhead needs to back up from Pookie 

Telling Glenn to go yes, but he won’t

MAGGIE AND GLENN YES

Glenn not telling Maggie that Tara was with the Governor is certainly a choice 

I get the feeling that Eugene isn’t saying something 

He’s leaving something out 

Or he’s lying 

They killed dickhead holy shit 

THEY’RE HUNTING RICK 

CAUSE HE KILLED THEIR MAN TO ESCAPE

Glenn and Maggie arriving at Terminus - why do I have a bad feeling about this?

Mary 

S4, ep 16

WHY IS RICK COVERED IN BLOOD THE FUCK 

CARL ?!?!

MICHONNE ?!?!?!

OH GOD DID THOSE DICKHEADS FIND THEM ?!!?

Those dickheads have in fact found Rick

“These people, you’re gonna let them go. These are good people.” Yes pookie save them 

“You want blood. I get it. Take it from me, man.” UH NO 

OR WE COULD NOT 

DON’T

STOP 

NO 

FUCKEN HELL 

LEAVE HIM ALONE 

The Rick Grimes Head Tilt 

Carl’s crying really reminds you that he’s still a child 

AYO

IS THAT DUDE GONNA RAPE CARL 

HOLY SHIT RICK

HE JUST RIPPED THAT DUDES NECK OUT WITH HIS TEETH 

HOLY SHIT 

“He’s mine.” Oh fuck

Dripping in blood, having just ripped someones neck out, and pissed off cause you dared to touch his son.. you’re dead dead dead 

He just gutted that man like a pig 

Holy fuck 

Michonne cradling Carl - thank you 

Carl lying on Michonnes lap like she’s his mum - imma cry 

Daryl looking out for Carl, making Rick clean the blood off 

Daryl Dixon don’t you dare blame yourself for those dickheads - you were trying to survive 

“You’re my brother.”

“What you did last night, anybody would have done that.” If someone tried to rape my kid, hell yeah I would 

Michonne and Rick have this way of understanding each other and it’s beautiful 

They’ve made it to Terminus 

Her walkers on the leash were her boyfriend and their friend - they were high in the damn apocalypse 

Carl bby you’re not a monster. You’re the product of your horrific circumstances and the shit you’ve had to do to survive. 

Gareth and Alex 

Don’t take their weapons pls 

“Hate to see the other guy.” “You would.”

“They deserve it?” “Yes.” Carl bby, yes they did 

Rick seeing belongings from other members of their group - putting a gun to Alex, Daryl jumping in with 0 hesitation 

Even in a zombie apocalypse I cannot escape lego 

JUST TELL RICK WHERE YOU GOT THE WATCH BRO 

YO

WHAT 

THE 

FUCK 

WHO 

IS 

IN

THE 

CRATES 

Why does the letter ‘A’ keep showing up ???

GLENN 

MAGGIE

“Now they’re friends of ours.” Yes they are pookie 

“They’re gonna feel pretty stupid when they find out.” … “They’re fucking with the wrong people.” 

What a way to end the season fuck 

[krankittoeleven]

top ten favorite bands/musicians tag game

Thank you @findusinaweek for the tag. It should be noted that my favorites really do ebb and flow in and out of favor depending on my mood and what's generally going on in my life. This list is in no particular order. I'm not sure if I could ever truly pick a number one favorite.

Puscifer - my super hot take that usually gets me in trouble with certain kinds of music lovers is that Puscifer (and a Perfect Circle) is leaps and bounds better than Tool. Which is not to say that Tool is bad, it's just that I think Maynard's side projects are better. Fight Me. Actually, don't, I have other things I'd rather waste my time on.

PIG - Really, I love anyone that's been a part of KMFDM at one point or another, but Raymond Watts' solo stuff is among my favorites. His music really embodies sex, drugs & rock n roll, uplifts counter culture and points the finger at problematic aspects of government, religion and society. He's also just a really chill dude who is fun to talk to after shows.

Skinny Puppy - Just saw them in concert last night, on their farewell tour. They've provided me with nearly a life time of music. My uncle, who helped raise me, is a huge fan and he played them a lot when I was a kid, which of course led to me listening to them on my own. It's always been our thing to see them live together, no matter where we are, we figure out how to come together to catch them each tour. Glad we could do it one last time.

Pink Floyd - another band that has been providing the backing music to my like like SP. I love that i can find Pink Floyd music to fit just about any mood, but really, my fondest memories of their music is getting stoned and chilling out. xD Saw Roger Waters live a few years ago and I'm glad he still puts on live shows that really embody the essence of Pink Floyd.

Snoop Dog - good music and an amusing dude. Honestly, these days I just really love his middle aged man vibe, and all the silliness with Martha Stewart. But I did grow up in his musical prime and I'm glad I was around the right people at the right time to get into not just Snoop's music, but others in the genre.

Rammstein - I think my favorite thing about Rammstein, aside from their weird, sometimes unnerving, industrial aesthetic, is just that their music has remained consistently good their entire career and that is so hard to do. Like, there isn't an album of theirs I ignore or songs that I skip. Ok, well their is one exception to that and it's Du Hast, but that's because it got sooooo much radio play in the US that I just do not ever need to listen to it again. LOL But other than that, its all pure gold.

Leonard Cohen - I love this man. His music was brutally honest, and really, the world is just a lesser place without him in it. I usually don't get too worked up when famous people die, i think that sucks and feel a little bummed, but when Leonard Cohen died I will admit to feeling something near to destroyed for quiet some time. If you ever think somethings I say or do is referencing Leonard Cohen, I assure you, it is.

KMFDM - One of the ultimate 'rotating roster of musicians' bands that really fueled my teen age and young adult years. I still love them, always will, but I do feel like they were at their best and freshest when different artists were coming and going and contributing to their sound. The music is less unique from album to album now that they have more of a fixed roster.

Low Roar - I had no idea who Low Roar was before I played Death Stranding, so thank you Kojima for dotting the game with their music. Bummer that their lead singer died last year, that's truly unfortunate.

Jazz - yes, I'm just putting the whole genre here because I don't have a particular favorite artist or group. I just like me some good jazz. I played tenor sax for quiet a few years and my inner sax man still lives on inside me.

I will tag @ainulindaelynn @brasideios @akashadarkblade @mini-uzzy @theinkandthesea @liminalspacecowboah @vault-heck @vdk-hellscape and anyone else that wants to!

[sharpth1ng]

Also, I wanted to drop off some younger hcs for Mickey and Derek (youre unwanted delivery has arrived🥳 alsoI might add some younger Billy hcs)

Derek was probably one of those kids every teacher loved because he actually cared about the class

He'd also have a lot of gfs (not at once hes a loyal one-) and I hc he'd like give them candy or smth and have little playground 'dates' or smth😭

Mickey was that kind of kid who would have a southern family or at least one southern parent

Dereks favorite subject was ethier science or art, maybe music (i hc that in like middle school he'd pick up choir and bro would get so many solos😭)

Mickey had like extremely frizzy hair to the point where even a slight breeze hits him and poof his hair is frizzed.

Derek being the little 'saint' he was he'd pack a spare hairbrush for him

They'd become friends although its obvious Dereks the angel on Mickey's shoulder (who literally begs him not to get in trouble since his parents would freak if they found out their 'little angel' got in trouble

Although Mickey is the more dramatic person Derek is still dramatic

Dereks terrified of bugs and Mickey would pick up a beetle and chase him with it

(Derek is forever traumatized)

Also piggybacking on that one hc list of Billy and stu hcs including his mom, I can see Nancy literally doing a whole detective case to see who called Billy a 'poopy head'

-⭐️

Ok I love these, delivery is never unwanted

100% Derek was a teachers pet and he probably actually got paired with Mickey for projects and stuff in the way teachers would put a good kid with a wild kid to try and like, tame the wild one a little (this doesn't work lol its a bad strategy)

I can totally see Derek being one of those kids who thinks he's a mini Romeo, he's picking flowers and giving handmade valentines

Love how as a fandom we've collectively decided that both stu and Mickey must be at least a little southern

Derek being a choir kid is adorable and nerdy, I would even buy that he did muscals or some shit in high school (its the fucking musical number he breaks out into, the dude has a little theater kid blood in him)

Derek forcibly brushing Mickey's hair for him is adorable

Derek following along on Mickey's terrible plans because even though he doesn't want to break the rules or get in trouble he doesn't want to leave Mickey alone with his unhinged decision making skills

Derek is SO dramatic, are you kidding? The musical number?

Mickey chasing Derek with bugs is pig-tail puller coded, thats cute. I like the idea of Mickey trying to freak him out to get his attention

Lol yeah if a mini Billy comes home upset cause he got called a name Nancy will launch the inquisition.

[blood-and-pizza]

So I don't have screenshots available yet, but I just spent the past four days playing Animal Crossing to transform my new island into a FNAF paradise.

I'm trying to unlock everything as quickly as possible, so naturally I'm using time travel. I set the Switch to March 2020 because I had no idea how much time traveling I was going to be doing, and I wanted to be safe.

My player character is Mike, naturally. I've experimented a little with his appearance, and I did think about giving him purple skin and pink eyes, but for now I'm think I'm just gonna stick with brown hair and blue eyes. Also... you guys ever find it funny that Mike has blue eyes just like Freddy? And his sprite has brown hair, like how Classic Freddy has brown fur?

So far, Mike's house has three rooms. I'm trying to pay off his current 500,000 Bell debt to Tom because I'm already out of room for items. My problem is that I REALLY like playing dress-up in Animal Crossing, so I spend a lot of Bells on cute clothes. My dudes, I found a vibrant purple tuxedo for Mike to wear if he ever felt like dressing up as his father. The fashion in this game makes me stim.

I'm also trying to design t-shirts and hats at Able Sisters. The idea is that Fazville is a Fazbear Entertainment location on a remote island, and the villagers who live there are animatronics. I don't have every islander I want yet, as most of them were random, but I'm working on it. I already have two of my dream villagers for this island, so...!

My first two villagers, which I have no control over, were Agnes (Pig, Sisterly) and Rowan (Tiger, Jock). I actually had Rowan on my first island at one point, so it was kinda cool to see him again. It's also neat that I got a pig and a tiger. We now have representatives for Pigpatch and Tiger Rock on the island!

The third villager was my choice, and I kinda cheated a little... I decided to bring a cat to the island because of Five Nights at Candy's, right? I chose the ugliest cat villager, Tabby (Peppy)! She's ugly, and I love her, and I hate her, and I needed to know what it was like to have her on my island. It's... it's not good, my dudes. Her favorite colors don't come in many cute options as far as buying her presents. But I'm not letting her move yet. I'm not done arranging everyone's houses to my liking. When I'm finished, then she can leave.

The fourth villager was Benedict the Lazy Chicken. An Eggs Benedict reference, and he's a chicken like Chica. HE'S PERFECT! Technically one of my dream villagers, though on a tier slightly less than the other dream villager I got. Unfortunately, there are no Peppy Chickens in this game, or else I would have chosen one of them. The only other chicken I'll accept at this point is Ava (Normal) who's as close to Chica in personality as I'm gonna get in Chickens. The choice in chicken villagers in this game is abysmal.

Number five was an autofill, Annalisa the Normal Anteater, who I would have loved on my main island but WHY AN ANTEATER? There are no anteater characters in FNAF!

Sadly, the sixth villager was ALSO an anteater, and he was apparently mandatory to completing the first leap of the game? It's Olaf, a Smug villager with amazing hair and a love for the colors red and black... so, you know, he's awesome.

Number seven was Pekoe (Cub, Normal) and until further notice, she's our Freddy representative. I even gave her a Red Mini Top Hat for her to wear. I will not be giving her more hats. I'm gonna need another Vibrant Tuxedo in red for her!

Number eight was an autofill, and it's... Octavian the Cranky Octopus! I forget if there was an octopus animatronic in the books or not. I might be imagining that, but... hey. I love Cranky villagers, I love octopuses, so I'm not exactly complaining. His house is space-themed, like he's an alien! Do you guys think that, if aliens really existed in the FNAF universe, Glamrock Freddy would be scared? Or excited? Or BOTH??? Ahem... sorry.

Number nine was a tiny let-down because I accidentally missed out on a rare Gator villager (aka Alligator Villager, aka Croc Villager)... specifically, DRAGO. I missed out on Drago, the only dragon in the game. FRICK. But I did get someone almost as cool... Alli, the Snooty Gator. I love her, I love her sass, her makeup, and the fact she has the same name as my older sister (Allison).

Number ten was one of my dream villagers for this island, Whitney the Snooty Wolf. She's a white wolf, so she can represent Funtime Foxy and Roxanne Wolf... since, you know, there aren't any Fox villagers in this game. Wolves, yes. Foxes, no. Only one Fox character exists and it's Jolly Redd, formerly "Crazy Redd". I WANT FOX VILLAGERS! I LOVE REDD SO MUCH! Anyway... I used an Amiibo card to invite Whitney to the island, and though there was some confusion at first, I was so happy when I finally figured out what I was doing and got her to come to my island! I LOVE HER SO MUCH!

I'm sorry for the enormous pictures, got em straight from the Animal Crossing wiki so you can all see my beautiful children. Will provide more updates on them soon, hopefully with screenshots next time.

My mom gave me her old Nintendo Switch. I'm gonna use it to give myself a second Animal Crossing: New Horizons island and make it FNAF-themed. I already have plans of which villagers I want and everything! Wish me luck, guys! I may post screenshots when I'm ready.

[yutahoes]

Sakura

(Part Eleven)

One - Two - Three - Four - Five - Six - Seven -  Eight - Nine - Ten - Eleven

genre : Chaptered, Fluff

pairing : childhood friends: soccer player! Nakamoto Yuta x single mom! Y/N

word count : 2.4k words

You’ll always be his Sakura.

@ailoveyuta @loona-4-eva @aiforyuu @2-3-t-i @cosmiclatte28 @url-lindo-sexy @nuoyipeach @aaasteroidsky  @readers-posts @delightfultacobread @bby-kji9​

"Dude, you are crazy," Mark exclaimed. "Now, you can't play with the team for a month." Yuta just shrugged. It was just probation, a warning against what he did earlier. Honestly, it was all worth it especially when he found out that the coach was relieved from his job. Some parents complained that his son is indeed a bully and the coach would often abuse the players of the team. 

Instead of heading to Germany where the team is playing, he's here in Korea and practicing on his own. "It's just a month, Mark. Don't overreact." He teased, seated on the soccer field. "If they don't let me play again, I'll apply as the soccer coach in the elementary school." The younger sighed, sitting cross-legged beside him. 

"You're serious about this girl, aren't you?" Yuta smiled, playing with the soccer ball. "What if you marry her, hyung? Are you planning to have a child with her?" 

He lay down the grass. "That's just a bonus. I wouldn't mind adopting Jae and Cherry, just the four of us would be fine." 

"But they're not your children." 

Yuta glared. "You don't need to be blood-related to call each other family, Mark." He chuckled. "I even call you brother." He took his phone from his jersey pocket, creating a message. "Speaking of which, do you want to come with me to Japan this summer? Okaasan would love to see you again." His gaze never left his phone. 

Mark nodded. "Are you bringing them to Japan as well?" 

Yuta smirked. "I'm going to ask Y/N first." He put his phone back in his pocket. "She said she's bringing lunch. Just wish that it's edible." 

The younger just shook his head that made Yuta laugh. Jae was running to him when they reached the field where Yuta is and Cherry gave him a hug. Y/N was just bowing at him and at Mark, apologizing for the bother but Yuta shook his head. He introduced his manager to the three and the two immediately called him 'samchon' that made Mark smile. 

They set up a mini picnic on the grass and Y/N showed the variety of sushi on different lunch boxes. “You made these all?” Yuta asked and she shook her head saying that it was Taeil, the chef in the restaurant she’s working at, who did everything. “And I thought I’m going to taste sushi cooked by you. You got me excited for no reason.” He said cutely that made Mark choke on his food. The older just glared at him but he shook his head. 

“Yuta appa, do you like sushi?” Cherry asked that made him nod. “This is my first time eating sushi.” 

Really though? He remembered eating some great flavored sushi in Chicago. And these, it’s really good. “You’ve never tried Japanese cuisines before?” The two kids shook their heads. He watched as Jae removed the vegetables, eating them then the rice covering the sushi. That's cute. He taught the younger guy how to properly eat the meal, even Cherry who just listened to them. 

After some practice and even playing with Jae and Cherry, Yuta invited Mark to come with them but he declined, only smiling at him. He brought them to the library that Jae and Chery liked, making Y/N amazed. "No wonder they liked this place." She exclaimed which made Yuta laugh, watching as the two kids started running to the designated rooms: Jae on the play area and Cherry on the mystery novels. "How did you find this place?" 

"I was searching for Agatha Christie books nearby when I found this library." The girl only raised an eyebrow at him. "I don't read much but Cherry seemed interested so I wanted to read some of her works. It's amazing, Y/N." 

The girl smiled. "I'm glad you're reading. You can't even make a book report when we were in elementary." Yuta looked offended but he just laughed. It was true anyway. He only picked up reading when she wrote letters for him. "So you're going to read with Cherry today?" 

"Will you be alright with Jae? He's kind of hyper when playing." 

"I think I can manage." She said with a smile which made him nod. "We'll see you later." 

Yuta held her hand and she gave him a puzzling look. "I like these little dates." Y/N just smiled at him. A simple smile that made his heart go haywire. He was grinning when he went inside the room where Cherry is that made the younger look at him weirdly. "What are you reading?" She showed the book, Five Little Pigs. "What was the book you were reading last time?" 

"The Body in the Library," Cherry said, not removing her eyes from the book. "Appa, should I tell you who the killer is?" 

The guy had to chuckle while looking for the book she mentioned. "Later. Let me just read the first chapter then tell me what happened." Cherry nodded then returned to her book when Yuta sat on the bean bag next to her. This is so calming. Reading quietly after a long day of practice. Next to a bookworm who seemed so engrossed with her reading. 

He liked this calmness. Wanted this calmness. Appa. Cherry calls him appa now. Who would have thought that the expressionless girl he met earlier this year is now warming up to him? Who would have thought that his youngest fanboy before would be his favorite soccer player now? Who would have thought that the girl he grew up with, who he tried to forget about, is now the girl who makes his heart race? How can he even make this calmness his?

"Cherry." He called, closing his book. "You said you'll help me with your mom right?" The younger nodded, smiling widely at him. It's weird that he's asking this thing to Cherry but this is the only thing he can think of. “What can I do to make her fall in love with me?” 

The younger laughed at that. “You should know it. You’re older than me.” But Cherry knows her more. “You should bring eomma out for a date. Make her eat delicious foods, watch a movie together, then buy her flowers.” She listed and he listened attentively. “You should also take her out dancing. Eomma would really love that.” 

“Your mom loves dancing?” 

Cherry shrugged. “But that’s what they do in romance novels.” Yuta chuckled at that. Of course, they do that. “After that, they kiss then they go to a hotel…” 

“What romance novels have you been reading, young lady?” Cherry was giggling that made Yuta smile while ruffling her hair. “Do you think I can make your mom fall for me that way?” 

The younger nodded. “She already is.”  

                                   ----------

“Hyung, you look weird.” Mark teased which made the older glare at him. “It’s just a date night. Haven’t you been on a date before?” 

Honestly, he had never been on a date before. This will be the first. And he can’t believe that it is with her. But Mark doesn’t need to know that. 

He was thankful enough that he volunteered to babysit Cherry and Jae for the night. He repeatedly took note of the things he must do, make her eat delicious foods, watch a movie together, buy her flowers, then take her out dancing. He can kiss her as Cherry suggested but the hotel would be out of the equation now. “Do I look alright?” He asked the younger guy who only laughed and said that he looked weird. 

Cherry opened the door then grinned at him, “Where are the flowers?” She asked and Yuta answered that it’s in the car. “What time are you bringing eomma home, appa?” Even Mark laughed at the tone of her voice. She sounds like a mom. 

“Before ten?” Yuta answered in a questioning tone that made the younger girl nod. Jae sat on his lap when he sat on their couch, asking if he could buy some chocolates for him on their way home. Yuta nodded although he’s surely sleeping when they get home. His focus was disturbed when Y/N went out of the room in skinny jeans and a pink hoodie. So pretty. 

“Eomma!” Cherry shouted. “Didn’t I tell you to wear that black dress?” 

Yuta chuckled at that. “It’s fine. You look great. Don’t dress up too much, I’ll get too nervous.” 

“I still don’t know what you two are planning.” She stared at both Yuta and Cherry who grinned playfully. “Why do you have to drag Mark here?” She asked then bowed at the younger guy who only smiled then shook his head. “Can’t we just stay here? I’ll just cook dinner.” 

Yuta started whispering in Jae’s ear that made the younger boy giggle. “Appa said you have to trust him and Cherry noona.” He chuckled then whispered something in his ear again. “Appa said you’re really pretty.” She squinted her eyes at the two boys. 

"You two should go if you want to return by ten," Mark said, taking Jae from Yuta. "Don't worry about anything here." 

Y/N kissed Jae's head before leaving, reminding him that he should behave and not give Mark trouble. “Y/N,” Cherry called that surprised them. “You should be Yuta’s date tonight and not Cherry and Jae’s eomma, understood?” The older girl just chuckled then kissed the top of Cherry’s head, whispering something to her that made the younger giggle. 

He held a hand out for her which she took, intertwining their fingers together. “Why do I feel like Cherry and you have something planned?” He opened the door to the passenger seat for her, nodding. Well, her daughter planned this date after all. “Where are we going?" She asked when he sat on the driver's seat. 

Before starting the car engine, Yuta handed her the flowers from the backseat that made her smile. He even helped her with the seatbelt that she unconsciously forgot. "To eat delicious food." He answered. "Do you have a place in mind?"

"I'm not yet hungry. Are you?" Yuta shook his head. It's still early. Maybe they can watch a movie first. But what is showing nowadays? "Yuta, can we go to a museum?" A museum? "You know when we were young, okaasan would always bring us to museums." He remembered that she liked museums so much when she was a child then his mom would always leave the two of them in front of a painting that she would stare at for hours. Yuta smiled. Maybe that was his first date without even realizing it. 

The museum was quiet with few people walking to see some paintings, a silent chatter can be heard in every corner. They stopped in front of a large painting of flowers, seated on the bench in front of it. Her eyes were focused on that canvas as if painting the picture with her mind. She hasn't changed. She's still the same girl. 

They walked to the further part of the art collection without even talking to each other yet he found the quietness calming. She stopped in front of a woman's painting, holding what looks like a sword. "Lucretia," she whispered. "I remembered first seeing this when I'm pregnant with Cherry." Yuta glanced at the painting. He's never a real good art critic, he doesn't even know anything about art but this looks sad. 

“What is the painting about?” 

Y/N smiled. “She’s a noblewoman from ancient Rome. I read that her suicide created a rebellion that changed Rome from kingdom to a republic.” He smiled, he can actually listen to her explanation all day. 

“She’s killing herself here?” She nodded. That’s why it looked so melancholic. “Why would she kill herself?” 

“Because she was raped.” It made him stop. “Oddly enough, the artist who made this painting is Artemisia Gentileschi and she was also raped.” He lightly glanced at her but her eyes were still focused on the oil canvas in front of them. “I thought I could be like that.” A bitter smile escaped her lips. “But whenever I hold a paintbrush, I can feel cold hands touching me.” 

Fuck, Yuta thought. He doesn’t want to imagine the things that happened or he’ll see red. Imagine how hard it was for her who actually experienced everything. That monster. He only hoped that Johnny could do something to make him pay for his sins. “I felt disgusted with myself.” 

He moved closer, his hand held hers. “It’s not your fault. You were a victim.” He slipped his hand off hers then held her closer by her shoulder. “I wish you could go back to painting without all these negative thoughts.” He rubbed her arm in comfort. “Whatever happens, I just want to assure you that you’re a strong woman just like…” he stopped then giggled. “That painter. What was her name again? Fettuccini?” 

Y/N laughed then leaned her head on his chest. “Thank you, Yuta.”

“Anything for you, Sakura.”  Y/N smiled. “Speaking of which…” Yuta let go of her, taking something from his jean pocket. “I had this for years now.” On his hand was a necklace with a winged beak-like image as a pendant. Cardcaptor Sakura’s necklace. “I was about to give this to you in Chicago when I confess.” He removed the hook of the necklace asking her to turn around to put it on her. “Now, we just wait for it to transform into your magical weapon.” 

The girl giggled at that, touching the pendant. “Isn’t this the necklace I wanted back in Osaka? You said I can’t eat it.” 

Yuta nodded. “You can’t. He smirked at her. “But now, you can eat my love.” She raised an eyebrow at that and he groaned. “That was so cheesy. I can’t believe I said that.” She chuckled at that, still playing with the pendant of the necklace. “This isn’t part of the plan. I should have stuck to Cherry’s date plan.”  

She smiled at that. “You really do love Cherry.” 

“More than anything. Jae too.” 

“Yuta,” she called which made him hum. “I’ll try to paint again.” He nodded encouraging her. “When I finish my painting, can you grant me a wish?” Yuta grinned then raised an eyebrow at her. What wish? 

But then, who is he to say no to her? He nodded. “Anything for you, my love.” 

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

Twelve

[connectionterminated13]

No problem I love to talk and this has been in my head for about 2 years LMAO....

Lizzie has the same power as William, Evan would have had reality warping powers kind of similar to scarlet witch but he hadn't developed them yet and actually only got his powers literally as he was dying. And yeah it was all him and like pure terror that accidentally destroyed the pizzeria and knocked out half the town.

Oh no I didn't notice that but it does work for Mikey.

Michael at this point doesn't really see himself as mutant sure he has powers and sure he technically is what but he's not one of the freaky ones they show dead in the newspapers. He's not the kind that him and his buddies joke about in the lunchroom. He's not the kind that senators yell about late at night when dad accidentally leaves the TV on. Because he and his family are normal good people.

Yeah. The kid did. Like he knew Michael definitely did it but William of is just so trustworthy, And his story makes perfect sense if you listen to him... After a while it became too much for his family to try to disprove the rumors so they just kind of left before proper Legal persecution could happen.

Yes. Evan is still alive in there because he fucked up reality so he could still be alive in there as he was dying. That's why all the animatronics are so possessive. He fucked up reality real bad....... And yes the other kids are in there but they're just normal kids except for Cassidy.

Well from charlie's point of view her boyfriend was involved in a horrible accident that killed his brother and blew up one of their father's businesses. Charlie doesn't know, About any of it. After all he looked human, and always went along with his mean buddies jokes about mutants.

But Henry does now. He doesn't really care since Williams a good friend And business partner. He looks into x completely normal and it's just all around a great guy. And sure Henry probably wouldn't want either of his own kids to be like William but william's a good person, he's the exception along with his kids!

It is pretty useful but when it comes to not dying it is not useful.... And yes he does abuse it, Most people in town perceive him as like a great father and trustworthy human being plus like great friend. Literally the only person he's ever genuine with is Henry he's never used his abilities on Henry, Because Henry is such an intelligent and wonderful man that that would be a gross misuse of his power. And yes when he starts murdering people and selling death robots, He uses his ability to endear himself to people.

Well he doesn't really think of them as Guinea pigs.... Elizabeth's death was an accident a happy accident but an accident. He turned it into a success and made a business out of it That would both benefit him both scientifically and financially.

Are you kidding me it's the 80s baby everyone wants a slice of that Mutant killing pie. And after all all William needs to do is get some perspective shady army dude or just general fool With a lot of money in the same room as him and He could convince them to let him chop off their arm and beat them with it if he wanted to. Either way it's more like a side thing/like hobby for William. He gets lots of extra money and people get Basically mini sentinels

yes. William gets accidentally crushed to death in one of his own machines Killing him, But he comes back.

He still has his original power, But it's practically useless. Even when he can get his slow moving rare blood out and on fire it hurts now.. No Michael's a bit too scared to go and face William. His current plan is to go find X factor their group of mutant hunters, And tip them off anonymously about William then go try to find some Living relatives of his Mother who live in New York or just give up and live in the sewers. Luckily for him in Pennsylvania he decides to break in to A church to sleep somewhere safe and is accidentally awakened by a nice and concerned young man named Jeremy.

I would scream into the void about my X men AU if you all let me

[pwarkluv]

❝ bookstore girl ❞ - knj

kim namjoon x reader | angst | 2.2k words

WARNINGS | lowercase is intended, falling in love kinda fluff, forbidden love au, bookstore au, idol au, some sad angst because iDoLs cAn’T dAtE (note the sarcasm), sort of a right person wrong time love story, forbidden love type of thing ya know?

SUMMARY | when the only reason he goes to his local bookshop every friday is to see you, the cute girl working at the cashier.

AUTHOR’S NOTE | inspired by “bookstore girl” by charlie burg. if you haven’t listened to that song before, GO LISTEN TO IT!! it’s one of my favorite songs ever <3 even though the song technically ends with the dude asking the girl out on a date, this is angst so the ending will be different :( anyways let us proceed!

the first time namjoon saw you he happened to stumble upon a bookshop right across his local supermarket. he remembers how excited he was to see one since there weren’t many places to go to read in his area without getting caught.

sure namjoon could always go to the library or something, but being one of the biggest kpop idols in the world meant privacy in places like the library wasn’t guaranteed. so a tiny bookstore like this was a gift sent from heaven (not that he really believes in those things).

the bell jingled as he opened the door, mask, cap, and sunglasses on to hide his identity. he still remembers your soft voice as you called out a small “hello” to him, a little weary with how sketchy he looked. 

you awkwardly waved at him as namjoon stood in shock at how gorgeous you were. your hair was in a messy bun allowing him to look at your face in detail, momentarily stunned at your beauty. 

he coughed to clear his throat a bit before continuing to walk around the store. he was doing well until he tripped over a pile of books he didn’t see, causing a thud to resonate throughout the whole bookshop.

namjoon remembers the loud gasp you gave out from the counter as you rushed to his side, freaking out and wondering if he was okay. back then he was ultimately embarrassed about it but thinking about it now brings a small smile to his face. the look of concern and absolute care made his heart swell as he silently cursed his luck. he didn’t completely hate it though, since it brought you two closer in the end. 

❝ going back just to see if still in the store you’ll be ❞ 

since then every friday on his off day, namjoon would make a trip to the bookshop across the street from the supermarket to see you. 

and to read too-

though he’s careful to keep a low profile and somehow has managed to hide his identity from you, you two still hold a close bond. 

there were so many signs telling you to stay away. you didn’t know his name, you didn’t know what he looked like, and you didn’t even have his number. but whenever you saw him walking through the door you couldn’t help but smile knowing he’s here. you really wanted to know more about him but after the first time you asked, you realized you shouldn’t pry and instead be grateful for whatever it is you two have, afraid that if you stick your nose in his business he’d leave forever.

 ❝ reading only the books that you’d recommend to me ❞ 

every army knows that namjoon loves reading books and sometimes recommends books for them to read. but what they don’t know is that half of them were originally recommended from you.

it was a clear skied friday afternoon as you worked busily moving some books from shelf to shelf. it wasn’t a busy day, only namjoon and one other person had walked in the store so far. since you didn’t know his name though, you call him bookstore boy to his amusement.

“hey bookstore boy!” you yelled out from the top of the ladder as you rearranged some books. namjoon looked up from the book he was reading, a curious look etched on his face though you couldn’t see it clearly. you silently cooed at his head tilt.

after a while namjoon felt comfortable taking his shades off but still kept his mask and cap (or beanie depending on what he was feeling like) on for some sort of secrecy. he let out a silent breath of relief when you didn’t recognize his eyes or pry him for more answers. 

“do you think you can help me out and pass me those books over there?” you grinned, the sun shining through the window pane and put a spotlight on you making namjoon flush a bit.

“y-yeah sure.” he stuttered, getting up from his seat.

“just please be careful.” you sighed. you’ve only known each other for a month and you were already hyper aware of his clumsiness. 

namjoon just chuckled in embarrassment before becoming more aware of his surroundings, not wanting to trip on something and somehow hurt you.

but of course his luck wouldn’t allow that. though it wasn’t him who fell, his heavy steps shook the ladder you were on causing you to slip. it all happened so fast and before you knew it you were holding your breath, preparing for the impact. what you didn’t expect was finding yourself in namjoon’s clumsy arms, both of you frozen in shock.

your heart started beating fast as you looked into his eyes.

you couldn’t be falling for bookstore boy, could you?

 ❝ knowing more than just your name ❞ 

it was another free friday, the only customer who came in was your favorite. 

ever since the day you literally fell into namjoon’s arms, the atmosphere between you two changed. namjoon took a little leap of faith and gave you some sort of name : joonie.

ever since then you’ve been calling him joonie instead of bookstore boy, the name sounding more fit than whatever it was you came up with. 

with the courage you’ve been mustering up for the past week, you decided to ask namjoon out on a date. a friend date.

“joonie?” you called out from behind the cashier, hearing his deep voice hum in acknowledgement behind a stack of books, too deep into his novel to really pay attention.

your palms started feeling sweaty and all of a sudden the hem of your sweater was more interesting than the task before you. you silently thanked whoever was up there for having namjoon slightly distracted, which meant less embarrassment for you.

“do you wanna eat take out with me? here? after i close up?” you fumbled a bit with your words, cursing yourself for how dumb you sound. 

namjoon immediately froze at your words, the book in his hands suddenly becoming uninteresting. his heart was hammering in his chest as he processed what just happened ten seconds ago.

did you just attempt to ask him out... cutely?

after a few moments of awkward silence (caw caw caw iykyk), you burst into a sputtering mess, apologizing as a feeble attempt to take back what you said.

“or we don’t have too haha i’m sorry let’s just forget-”

“i’d love to.”

and that’s how you found yourselves sitting on the floor of the shop underneath a spare blanket you found in the back, picnic style with the chinese food namjoon insisted on paying for. 

the poor man was trying so hard not to spill the soda you secretly ordered behind his back after assuring namjoon not to buy any drinks for you guys. you were doing a (poor) impression of yoda and the giggles couldn’t stop falling from his mouth.

you couldn’t help but smile gingerly at his laughing form. he looked absolutely ethereal, eyes disappearing as he smiled. though you wished you could just rip the mask off his face, you knew your boundaries.

unfortunately, whenever he took a bite, he lifted the bottom of his mask up, continuing to hide his face from you.

that night you learned a lot about each other.

you learned that joonie was a nickname and didn’t really go into detail about why he couldn’t reveal his real name. you didn’t pry.

he told you about his six roommates and their quirks. how one was the total mom, always scolding them about their behavior and surprisingly food. the other was a mood, sleep and work being his only favorite thing in the world. one boy could light up an entire room with his smile. but don’t be fooled, he curses more than he breathes. 

one was beyond charming and his duality was scary, to which you responded with a laugh wondering who in the world could be like this. the second to youngest could pass as the baby of the group, a “good boy” as namjoon would put it.

the youngest was a total brat and muscle pig. you almost snorted out the soda when namjoon explained to you the personality of his youngest roommate. 

namjoon also talked about himself and how he was called the “god of destruction” in their household to which you didn’t disagree. how he loved books and nature, how he wanted to be a dad.

that night you two became closer, and namjoon couldn’t help but get scared.

 ❝ it wouldn’t be the same ❞ 

you didn’t know how things got to this point. tears were streaming down your face as you stood in front of namjoon, not knowing what to do.

an hour ago you two were fine. another unbusy friday, namjoon being the only customer that day. it wasn’t until you slipped and namjoon caught you was where you (think) you messed up. from the moment he walked in you could tell he was a little tense.

the day before, namjoon decided to cut things off with you. it wasn’t because he hated you or your “date” went bad. in fact, namjoon was in love with you. he was in love with the way you bite your lip whenever he does something dumb as an attempt to not laugh. he was in love with the bright look in your eyes whenever you talked about your favorite book. he was in love with everything about you.

but he knew now wasn’t the time, not at the height of his career. he couldn’t do that to his members, not after working this hard to get to where they were now.

dating is a touchy subject for idols. fans can be quite possessive and though namjoon love love loves his army, some people took things too far. being in love and dating you could open a whole can of worms namjoon wasn’t quite ready for. 

you slipped on a mini towel you forgot was there as namjoon caught you. it was like in those kdramas where one hand was on your waist and the other on your back. the panicked look in his eyes once again made your heart race and you were surprised you didn’t have a heart attack right then and there. he was just so close.

the fuzzy feeling in your stomach took over and next thing you knew, you were kissing him. his soft lips were like a key and a lock on yours. it felt so right.

but then namjoon pushed you off, not hard enough to make you fall but enough to get you off him.

and things went downhill from there.

“you don’t like me, do you?” you said in a small voice, refusing to look into his eyes. your hands were by your side as you looked down, tears falling down your cheeks.

“no y/n, i love you. but i can’t be with you.” namjoon responded softly before taking off, leaving his hoodie behind. 

your body reacted on its own, running after him. you didn’t spare a second thought over the fact you were leaving the bookstore unattended.

“joonie please!” you called out to the running figure ahead of you, your voice cracking at the intensity your words held. mustering all the strength in your body your hands wrapped around his figure, latching onto him like a fish in a net. 

you brought your teary face to his back as his body rose up and down, panting. you could hear his sniffles indicating he was crying too. you didn’t know what to do.

what did he mean he can’t be with you? he loves you like he said. if he loves you then he should be with you, right?

“please.” you pleaded, words mumbled a bit from his back. you felt his warm hands engulf yours before he turned you around to wrap you up in a hug. namjoon’s tears kept falling as he forced his face into your hair, the height difference bringing a slight smile to his face.

“i’m so sorry y/n.” he kept repeating into your hair. the boy held you like you were his lifeline and that’s when you knew. you knew this was his last goodbye. 

something in your chest burned and the pit of your stomach felt empty as you processed what was about to happen.

suddenly namjoon pulled his mask down and covered your eyes to kiss you for the last time. this one lasted longer, the bittersweetness in it evident. 

you felt the love and the pain in it all.

and just like that he was gone, leaving your fairytale behind

 ❝ remaining fantasy, that’s more romantic to me ❞ 

namjoon watched bitterly as you laughed at this random dude’s joke, unaware of his watchful eyes. it’s been two years since that incident and he didn’t regret anything more than the moment he let you go. the only thing he was grateful for was the moments you go to make and that he was able to tell you that he loved you.

he didn’t expect to see you. after that day you quit your job and namjoon wasn’t able to find you anywhere. it was like you disappeared for a bit.

but the moment he say your eyes, he knew it was you. his y/n. but his y/n was on another man’s arm, your smile that used to be for his eyes only. 

namjoon pushed his sunglasses up before walking past you two, not noticing the way you turned around as if his figure seemed familiar before turning back to your lover.

[willow-salix]

Fluffember prompt: Feathers (vaguely, and with a dash of Rainbow)

Day 13 of Isolation on Tracy Island 2.0

“OK, who threw that pencil at me?” Scott demanded to know. No one owned up. Honestly I didn’t even see where it had come from let alone who threw it. 

“No clue,” I answered.

“I’m gonna find out,” he growled. “I could have been badly hurt!”

I sniggered to myself, for a real life action hero Scott could be so dramatic sometimes, and didn’t bother looking up from the latest copy of ‘Better Gnomes and Gardens: Witches Weekly’ that I was flicking through.

“Seriously, that could have taken my eye out, it’s like a miniature stake,” he continued to grumble.

“Talking of stakes,” I started, trying to distract him so that he didn’t go off on a ranting tangent about the danger of flying pencil projectiles, “there’s been a development with the Highgate Vampire, he’s been spotted again. Seriously, what more can this crazy year throw at us? Don’t answer that,” I warned John before he could even utter a word. I know my boy and I know that he was about to throw out some highly logical statistic or another that would make complete sense but would make me want to cry.

“Highgate Vampire?” Scott asked, distracted as I'd hoped he would be. My evil plan had worked. I turned my magazine to show him the article. “You remember, when we tried out that new ka- pub,” I corrected myself, aware of just how many of his brothers were crowded around. “We walked past the cemetery and I told you all about the legend of the Highgate Vampire.”

Scott looked blank, which is a look I’m used to seeing on him, I gotta be honest, he barely ever listens to me. “You know, I told you the story of how, back in the 1970’s a group of ghost hunters decided to try to find a vampire that supposedly lived there?”

He shook his head. 

“Self appointed bishop vampire hunter dude?” I tried again.

“Oh, yes! I remember him. He’s back?”

"Who?" 

"The Bishop."

"No, he's dead, the vampire."

"The vampire killed him?"

"The Bishop is dead of natural causes, and the vampire has been seen again," John supplied. 

“Yes," I agreed." Apparently so, and they’re blaming him for this virus outbreak.”

Everyone went quiet for a second, not sure what to say to that. John reached out a hand and I passed over the magazine so he could read it for himself. 

“Why do you read this rubbish?” he asked after perusing the rest of its offerings.

“Why wouldn’t I want to know that blue aliens brought Elvis into that lady’s garden?” I asked, genuinely perplexed.

“I don’t know how to answer that,” he told me honestly, handing the magazine back to me.

“Do you remember that time that Virgil thought he was a vampire?” Scott suddenly asked him.

“Oh, God, yes. I hadn’t thought of that in years,” John laughed.

“Wait? He what now? There were vampires involved? Why was I never told about this? This is my one area of expertise and you've been holding out on me?”

“I did not think I was a vampire,” Virgil corrected them. “Our high school math teacher did.”

I tossed the magazine aside, this was far more entertaining than anything I’d find in there.

“Spill,” I demanded.

“It’s really not that interesting a story,” Virgil insisted, trying valiantly to deflect us.

“He was a sophomore, so about fifteen years old,” Scott started, dodging out of the way when Virgil threw a pen at him this time. Scott narrowed his eyes, like he wasn’t sure if that was proof that he had been the perpetrator of the pencil or not. Virgil, for his part, looked innocent. Pen, what pen? I saw no pen? What even is a pen? Isn’t that something you put pigs in?

“And he had to have two of his back teeth out due to overcrowding,” John continued, grabbing me and yanking me onto his lap, using me as a human shield when Virgil lifted his sketch pad threateningly.

“I’m so glad I married such a brave rescuer,” I deadpanned as John continued to hide behind me. "My hero."

“I was driving him back from the dentist and he was still a little out of it from the sedation they had given him,” Scott took up the tale.

“I’m just not a big fan of the dentist, OK?” Virgil defended himself. "They have to sedate me."

“His gums were still bleeding and he’d spat the gauze out within a minute of getting out of there,” John continued, ducking back behind me when Virgil glared at him.

“They’re going to tell it anyway,” I told him, “so why don’t you do it instead?”

Virgil nodded, seeing the wiseness in my words.

“My gums were bleeding but I didn’t know what to do with it all, I didn’t want to swallow it and to be honest, I was still pretty woozy, so I just kinda let the blood collect in my mouth.”

“Aww, that must have sucked, babe, I’m sorry.”

He nodded at me in thanks for my sympathy, something he was NOT getting from his brothers.

“We stopped at some lights and by that point my mouth was getting pretty full-”

“He was drooling like Alan at nap time,” Scott butted in.

“Did you not give him a tissue or something?”

“No, he was evil.”

“I was driving and I don’t carry things like that on me as standard,” Scott argued.

“I’ll pick you up if anything like that happens again,” I promised the big guy. “For girls our cars are like an extension of our house or our handbags, there's tissues, lip balms, snacks, bottles of water, everything.”

“Thank you,” Virgil sniffed, casting Scott a smug look, knowing I was firmly on his side.

“So, how is this vampire related?” I had to ask, I mean, I was sympathetic but I was also nosey as hell.

“I wound down the window as we stopped at the light,” Virgil continued. “And I...well, I was still a bit muddled…”

“He opened his mouth and all this blood came oozing out, it just dribbled everywhere,” Scott  practically yelled, bursting out laughing.

“Why are you laughing, you evil thing?”

“Because,” John piped up from behind the shelter of my person, “the car next to Scott’s was Mrs Beddleman’s. Virgil, recognising her, breaks out into this wide, goofy and completely bloody, smile.”

“She looked absolutely horrified and even though she wasn’t going that direction she turned right to get away from us. She was a very religious lady and she took to wearing a cross to school for the rest of the year until I left her class.”

“And she moved his seat to one beside the window,” Scott howled, doubled over laughing.

I bit my lip, trying very hard not to laugh.

“It’s OK,” Virgil sighed, “you can laugh.”

“I don’t want to,” I told him as seriously as I could. “But I really don’t think I can help it.”

I made the fatal mistake then, I glanced at Scott who was at the point of silently laughing, his body shaking and I cracked.

“It’s not like I’m the only one that had bad anesthesia reactions,” Virgil said slyly and I snapped to attention.

“Are you not?” 

“Nope,” he shook his head, grinning now. “We’ve all had broken bones and hospital stays over the years.”

“Oh, oh, tell me a Scott one!”

“He had an appendectomy when he was twenty. He was taken in for day surgery and when he woke up he was completely coherent,” Virgil started.

“He was?” Knocked out Scott had to be different to sedated Scott, because sedated Scott was hilarious and very snuggly. 

“What can I say, I have a strong constitution,” Scott preened.

“He’s lying,” Virgil continued. “He was talking normally, answering questions and the doctor said he was doing great and could go. He was starving, hadn't eaten since the night before and he insisted that the only thing he would eat was Chinese food, and it had to be a buffet, nothing else would do."

"I mean, he's not wrong, there is nothing like a good Chinese," I agreed. 

"Well, it appeared that he hadn't been as recovered as we thought he was."

"What happened?" 

"I came round from the anesthesia sitting in the restaurant and as far as I knew I'd just gone under in the operating room and I'd woken up with a plate of chicken teriyaki on a stick in front of me."

John sniggered, muffling his laughter against my shoulder.

“I don’t know why you’re laughing,” Scott huffed. “Have you forgotten about when you had your tonsillectomy?” 

“That was not my fault,” John mumbled, clearly regretting his previous amusement.

“Oh gods, what did you do?” I asked him, turning my head to look at him over my shoulder.

“Nothing! I was just talking to the anesthesiologist.”

“The anesthesiologist was new to the hospital so hadn’t met any of us before,” Virgil started.

“Do I take it that you all had frequent user passes? Like buy ten ops and get the eleventh free?” 

“Pretty much,” Scott shrugged, unashamed of just how bad that sounded. “So John’s there, being himself, talking to the surgeon and anesthesiologist about the operation and what they were planning, how long it would take, telling them what they needed to do, that sort of thing-”

“I like to know what to expect,” John defended himself.

“Swot,” Gordon teased, coming in at the tail end of John’s mini rant, Alan trailing along behind him.

“It’s not a bad thing to want to go into a situation with full knowledge of it. Research and a game plan are only sensible. How do you expect to get good at something if you don’t know the mechanics behind it?” He glanced around at his brothers who looked less than convinced. “You know you’ve all been grateful for my expertise more than once.”

“I know I have,” I agreed, ignoring the raised eyebrows that came my way. Let them think dirty things, that was their problem. I received a small kiss to the side of my neck thanks for my support so I’m not going to complain.

“So, what were you guys talking about?” Gordon asked, flopping down on the couch beside Virgil.

“They were sharing with me their tales of woe under the effects of anesthesia and sedation,” I informed him.

“Oh, yes, we’ve all got those,” Gordon agreed. “Which one was John telling?”

“The time when he had his tonsils removed,” Scott helpfully supplied.

“I don’t remember it,” Gordon frowned.

“Neither do I,” Alan added.

“He was talking to the anesthetist, we got that far,” I said.

“He was talking to him as they were asking him to count down from a hundred,” Virgil continued.

“I only remember getting to ninety-one,” John told me.

“We were outside in the relatives room, waiting for him to be taken to recovery,” Scott took up the tale. “We had only been in there about fifteen minutes when the anesthesiologist and a nurse came out looking like they had seen a ghost.”

“Dad stepped up and demanded to know what the problem was and if John was OK,” Virgil said. “It turned out that John had been far more coherent than he remembered and hadn’t stopped counting at ninety-one.”

“He’d gotten to sixty-two but when he reached eighty-nine he’d apparently switched to fluent Japanese, and then started talking about a wakizashi, that and asking them about their day.”

“A what now?” 

“A small, fourteenth century Japanese sword,” John supplied.

“The anesthesiologist was actually Japanese and he had apparently called three of his peers in the ten minutes that John had been under to ask how it was possible that this Caucasian, american teenager was suddenly speaking in fluent Japanese under the influence or anesthesia.”

“It took Dad a good five minutes of solid laughter to finally tell them that they hadn’t broken John or damaged his brain in any way, he was actually fluent already,” Scott laughed.

“Apparently he gave them the biggest scare they had ever had in more than twenty years,” Virgil finished.

“I was obviously being considerate and had thought that it was more polite to talk to him in his own language rather than English,” John sniffed, crossing his arms around my waist. “I don’t see what the big deal was.”

“I’m just impressed that you were speaking it fluently at all,” I said, earning a gentle finger flick as punishment for ever doubting him. “I meant that I can only speak three languages fluently, English, bad English and Sarcasm, so anyone that can do anything else is just amazing to me,” I quickly defended myself.

“Sarcasm is your native tongue,” John mumbled. I ignored him.

“He’s mostly self taught too,” Scott added, showing that, despite how much time they all spend teasing each other, they are always proud of their siblings.

“I used to watch a lot of foreign films and TV shows to pick up the pronunciation and read a lot of graphic novels and translated books to learn how to read and write,” John elaborated. “It’s a very effective way to learn and I apparently have a gift for languages.”

“As well as many other things,” I added to be nice. “Any other stories I need to know?”

“When Gordon was having one of his back surgeries they told him that they had to strap him down and when he asked why they told him it was so he wouldn’t fall off the table and he said ‘It’s OK, five second rule’,” Scott told me.

“‘Cause I'm a snacc,” Gordon added with a grin. “Apparently I also woke up with a violent jolt and when I was asked if I was OK I apologised to the nurse and told her that I thought I was a shark.”

“You also started a joke with the nurse as you went under and finished it the moment you woke up with no prompting,” Virgil laughed.

I clapped enthusiastically for that one and Gordon bowed modestly.

“What about me?” Alan asked, finding the whole thing highly amusing.

“You’ve only been under once but you were hilarious in both the things you said,” John answered. “You apparently woke up screaming ‘Where are my wings?  I want my wings? You stole my feathers you jerk! You were only supposed to take my tonsils!’ and then passed right out again.”

Gordon cracked up laughing, as did everyone else including Alan.

“You then woke up again and asked how long until the anesthetic kicked in, and when the nurse told you it was all done and had actually been two hours you yelled in her face ‘WOAH, DID I JUST TIME TRAVEL?’” John finished.

“That’s so precious,” I cooed, because Alan is adorable in everything he does regardless of what it is.

“We have a lot of stories like that,” Virgil said, “we sometimes have to give pain relief or sedate someone who is freaking out and they do the weirdest stuff.” 

“They do? Is there some kind of hippocratic oath that you guys have to swear or can you tell me some?”

“No oath,”  they assured me. 

“One woman grabbed Virgil’s hand, stuck her fingers up in his sleeve, stroked his arm and said ‘You’d make a great carpet’,” Gordon told me.

“It’s not uncommon for people to feel stressed and unsure of where they are,” Scott continued, “they often wake up screaming or panicking, but we delivered one guy to the hospital who’d had a pretty nasty bang to the head and broken an arm. We were unable to calm him down so we had to sedate him so he wouldn’t do any more damage. He woke up as we were transferring him to the hospital gurney and he hopped off before we could catch him, pulled his pants down with his good arm and started to helicopter right there outside the hospital.”

That broke me, I’m sorry to say. I might proclaim to be far more mature than these idiots and not find fart jokes and the like amusing, but the mental image of this guy, standing there, twirling...I just couldn’t stop.

“One girl asked us if we were single and we didn’t answer and deflected by asking her if she had a boyfriend or girlfriend and she started crying that she just wanted a dog.”

“Remember that young boy who meowed the entire way to the hospital?” 

“And that one lady that was really nervous so we told her to think of something nice and she started singing ‘I wish you a merry Christmas,’ but it was July!”

“And the one that said she wanted us to drop her off at the top of a rainbow so she could slide down it?”

“And the guy that woke up when we landed, looked right at Kayo and said as loudly as he could ‘Look! The love of my life! Don’t leave me, I can change!’”

“And that one guy who knocked out a few teeth and spat out the gauze we packed his mouth with and started freaking out crying ‘was that my liver? Nooo, my liver! I need that! Get back in you!’”

“A woman lost a couple of teeth too and was crying about being ugly. We gave her some pain relief and she was so hazy that, when we handed her over to the doctor and gave him her teeth she started screaming at him... what was it she said, John? You heard it over the comms and were laughing so hard.”

“She yelled, ‘Charlatan! I demand you return my teeth! They are mine and I will choose how they are to be spent!’”

I cracked up at that, mostly the way John told it, which I assume was the same way she had, like a plummy Victorian aristocrat that had just been insulted.

“And that teen who said ‘hey, mister, my ass itches and I’m too high to scratch it.”

“Oh, that’s pure gold,” I laughed, wiping my eyes because I was laughing so hard.

“What about you?” Alan asked me. “Have you ever done anything weird?”

“Only every day of my life.”

“I meant under sedation.”

“Oh, yeah, not really,” I shrugged. “I know that when I had teeth out once, after napping on the couch for a few hours I suddenly sat up and announced that I needed to make Mum a cup of tea. She told me I didn’t need to but I said she was my guest and I had to be polite or she’d leave me alone to die. There was no arguing with me so I got up, went to the kitchen and came back and gave her a mug of cold water with a spoon in it. I apparently said ‘drink up, luv,’ like a really bad impression of Parker and face planted the couch and passed out again. Mum made her own tea after that.”

That got a fair few sniggers and Scott threatening to take away my British card for screwing up tea so badly.

“I have to ask,” I said conspiratorially once everyone had calmed down, “has Kayo ever done anything like this?”

They all looked around, as if scared that she might be listening, then eventually Virgil nodded.

“She came round from her knee surgery after she dislocated it and insisted on trying to get out of bed. The nurse told her she had to stay put as they had just fixed her knee and it needed time to heal. She answered in the most confident, how dare you try to stop me way and informed the nurse that she was a ninja and that they heal three times faster than normal people. The nurse let her try and she dropped face first.”

Honestly, out of all the stories I’ve heard today, that one was the best. It’s nice to know that even the most capable and sometimes terrifying of us isn’t always perfect.

[ghostiewriter]

chapter one | tale of a slightly unstable teen hero

Summary: JJ is starting to gain recognition around New York as the new hero in town. However, some complications arise with his new chemistry partner. Oh, and turns out he isn’t the only bloke around here with powers.

Warnings: John B is a simp, I feel like that needs a warning tbh. Umm there’s a lot of swearing (I’m Scottish, don’t judge), again some violence and fighting, also some cute ass moments between JJ and his mum so enjoy that

Word Count: 8.1K

A/N: Sooo there’s finally some Jiara in this chapter!! Hope you enjoy👀and I’m not responsible for any feels caused by JJ and Georgia Maybank!!

masterlist // taglist // ao3

“Spider-Man does it again! Report of our favourite web-slinging hero saving the day once again after a fatal accident left an apartment complex on the corner of 5th and 36th street in flames. The teen hero arrived at the scene not long after the distress call was made to the local fire department and managed to rescue over twelve people that were trapped on the top floor. New York thanks Spider-Man once again.”

JJ grinned as he leaned back in his seat, sparing a smug look towards John B in the driver’s seat. JJ didn’t usually carpool with John B but it was getting colder and his extra-curricular activities were wearing him exhausted by morning. Plus, the last time JJ skated to school when he was half asleep, Pope had to pull him out of a trash can. Turns out raccoons can be very territorial and did not appreciate the blond taking a small visit into their home. He was pretty sure he still had scars on his back from some of those little bastards.

“Three weeks on the job and you already have a little fanbase,” John B commented, reaching over to turn the radio down a little since the reporter moved onto some irrelevant news neither of the boys cared about. “Soon you’ll have a swarm of fangirls chasing after you while you fight crime.”

“Don’t be jealous, JB,” JJ grinned, both arms behind his head as he looked at the passing view. “I’m sure one of my groupies will slum it down for you.” He teased, only laughing when he felt the flick on his forehead.

As much as he hated to admit it, JJ had seriously enjoyed the past three weeks. They were intense, impulsive and unpredictable. Just how JJ liked his life to be. It wasn’t easy at first though, it took a good few attempts before the people of New York actually labelled him as a hero. Maybe it was because he was some young bloke who popped out of nowhere with abilities that no could really understand. Or maybe it was because he was going around in a red ski mask, blue shirt, a red vest with an awfully drawn spider on it and some blue joggers. He looked like a right on idiot, especially with the chunky goggles Pope added to his costume. But if it kept his identity secret, then so be it. The last thing JJ wanted was a bunch of journalists swarming his apartment, especially since he wanted to keep this whole alter ego away from his parents. In fact, he wanted to keep it away from anyone who wasn’t John B or Pope.

It was safer that way.

“At least that’s one more that Pope.” John B said nonchalantly.

“As if, dude!” JJ scoffed, grinning at the distressed—and fairly high pitched—‘WHAT’ that came from the brunette. “Oh, c’mon, Pope created a whole ass bat signal for me! You just sit there and look pretty! Pope gets at least two groupies.” He said with a shrug.

It was true. JJ knew Pope was smart, but this was next level. After realising that JJ wasn’t getting the recognition he needed to be labelled a ‘superhero’, Pope had come up with the ingenuous idea to infiltrate the police radio stations. Not only did they have full access to updates on crimes around the city, but Pope even felt a little fancy and made it so JJ would get a notification sent to his phone the second there was a job for Spider-Man. That boy was way too smart for his own good, but JJ was grateful for it.

“Aw, you think I’m pretty?” John B asked with a teasing grin.

“Yeah,” JJ smiled, reaching to place his hand on John B’s shoulder with a squeeze. “Pretty fucking ugly.”

John B’s smile instantly dropped as he scowled at JJ, who was happily snickering at the sudden change in mood. “Whatever, Spider-boy.”

“Yikes, low blow.”

The rest of the journey was spent in a similar vibe, except with JJ checking his phone every five minutes. He couldn’t help it, but the past three weeks had been some of the most exciting in his life. JJ had been labelled the troublemaker his whole life, the one that was throwing pencils into Mrs Ramirez’s curls because they looked like little hoops. Or even just doing his damn best to avoid the work he was given. It was a force of habit. JJ’s brain was running at a million miles a second. Nothing could hold him down, keep him entertained for longer than thirty minutes at most. And his teachers had constantly reminded him that his impulsive nature and high energy would lead him nowhere good in life.

All JJ had to say to them now was a massive ‘FUCK YOU!’ because how wrong they were. It was those qualities that made JJ the perfect hero. He could react quick to a sudden change, he was always on his feet, he had found something that not only could he channel all his energy into—but he was damn good at it as well. John B and Pope had warned him that it was best to keep himself humble, to not get too arrogant. But who was he kidding? JJ made a pretty fucking bomb superhero and everyone loved him. It seemed like he deserved to feel arrogant, to soak in his time in the spotlight. He enjoyed every single second.

So, can you really blame JJ for checking his phone, wanting an excuse to put that mask on and do the one thing he is good at? Except for skateboarding. Everyone knew JJ was the best skater in Queens.

Unfortunately, there was no sudden crimes that JJ could use as excuse to ditch school. A true tragedy, if you asked him. It seems like he will just have to suffer through another day of learning things that either happened way too long ago, didn’t make sense to him or he just truly didn’t care about. Which just happened to be basically every subject—excluding wood-shop. Except he was taken out of the class because apparently making mini bongs for birds is not okay. Who would’ve thought.

“I don’t see what the issue is—it’s a fool-proof plan!” John B argued as the two boys made their way through the corridors of Midtown High. Only stopping once they reached John B’s locker where he exchanged his books and JJ checked out the hallway for anything that caught his eye.

“Bro, you have a ten-year plan to end up with Sarah Cameron,” JJ stated bluntly. “And even then, you end up as her second husband—“

“No one can prove what happened to the first.”

“It’s fucking sad, JB.”

“It’s a solid plan.” John B stated simply and shrugged his shoulders, deciding to ignore JJ as he rolled his eyes, muttering something about John B being a ‘hopeless fool’. John B only grinned wider and glanced at his watch before whispering a small ‘shit’ to himself. “I gotta go, see you at lunch.” And with that, John B was zooming his way down the corridor.

“You know it’s really creepy that you plan when you bump into her!” JJ called down the corridor, but he doubted John B heard him. “Like really fucking creepy…like restraining order level creepy!

Once he noticed John B’s head turn the corner, undoubtedly on his way to ‘coincidentally’ bump into Sarah Cameron, JJ calmly made his way to his first period class, not in a big rush to get there.

**********

You see, after the incident in wood shop and many others after that, the school had taken the decision to move JJ into a class they deemed more valuable of his time. Chemistry. Stick the ADHD kid in a room full of chemicals…seemed about right. However, JJ was being transferred half way through the term with absolutely no knowledge in chemistry other than how to make a Molotov cocktail. Therefore, he didn’t really see an issue in showing up to a class he was already hopeless in. His teacher disagreed.

“Mr Maybank, it’s nice of you to finally join us.” Mr Marino—a middle-aged bald man who had looked as though he had been through one too many divorces and contained most of his knowledge in the form of his beer belly—commented as JJ entered the class.

“Oh, you wouldn’t believe what happened to me!” JJ sighed dramatically.

“Let me guess: your alarm didn’t go off.”

“It was my pet monkey, sir. Has a mind of its own.”

“Your pet monkey?”

“Yup, his name is JB. Nasty wee guy but I keep him around, he’s a good laugh. Could do with a shower though.”

“Take a seat, Maybank.”

“I can feel the love.” JJ grinned before he turned to look at the class. It was set up with eight workbenches, two seats at each. His eyes scanned over each one before he caught an empty seat at the back-left workbench, the only empty seat—and just his luck it was next to the curly haired beauty for the trip.

JJ was starting to think he might actually enjoy this class.

“We just keep meeting, sweetheart. I think it’s a sign.” JJ whispered to her as he took his seat next to her, definitely sitting a little closer than he had to. He tried not to smirk when he noticed her subtly moving away from him. JJ always loved a challenge.

“Or a punishment.” She replied bluntly, not even sparing JJ a glance.

“Aw, is this how it’s going to be for the rest of the year, princess?” JJ muttered with a pout. He tried not to smile when she finally turned to look at him.

“Rafe got a concussion.” She hissed.

“So?” JJ frowned.

“So? You caused it!”

“And I should care because?”

“He is banned from the football team for six weeks!”

JJ stared at her blankly. “And…?”

“He is the captain!”

“Boohoo, they’ll survive without him.” JJ shrugged, leaning back in his stool as he flashed her one of his usual girl-charming smiles. “But hey, if you’re really stressed out about it, I’m sure I can help you find a way to relax.”

“You’re a pig.” She stated with a small huff, stubbornly turning to face the front, planning to not even give him the chance to redeem himself. Trust me when I say Kiara is an open person, always there to give people a second chance. But JJ Maybank was not one of those people. In the three times she had met him, he had been nothing but a shameless flirt who had no care for the world beyond his sex life. She could be judging him too quickly, but in her defence, he hadn’t given her anything else to work with.

However, Kiara assumed her behaviour was clear enough that she didn’t want to talk to him, that she could gladly go the rest of the year without willingly speaking to him. But this is JJ. Hyperactive, unable to sit still JJ. He didn’t get the hint.

“So, do anything interesting this weekend?” JJ asked her, that classic smirk of his on his lips. But she didn’t answer him. Instead, she kept her gaze on Mr Marino and his oh-so interesting talk on bond orbitals within an atom.

JJ raised his eyebrows when he received no reply from her. “Giving me the silent treatment now? That’s a bit rude.” He commented.

“So is giving someone a concussion.” She stated.

“Do you want to know what I did?” JJ asked.

“No.”

“Geez, princess, no one ever taught you manners?” He teased, taking the pen he was spinning between his fingers to gently poke her arm. She only huffed and moved her seat further away.

“Okay, alright, fine! I get it…” JJ trailed off, and Kiara couldn’t help but let out a sigh of relief. But she spoke to soon. She heard the scrape of a chair and suddenly she could feel the warmth of JJ right beside her, their elbows just touching.

“Is there an issue, Mr Maybank?” She heard Mr Marino call out but the boy next to her just shook his head, that mischievous glint shining in his eyes.

“No, please carry on, Alan.” The blond replied, his fingers tapping against the worktop counter.

Kiara sighed. She knew very well that she could put her hand up and complain, or even ask Mr Marino to change seats after class ended. But she was stubborn, and she would be damned if she gave JJ that satisfaction of knowing that he got under her skin.

This was going to be a long year.

**********

“She called me JB! That basically takes three years off my plan!”

“Dude, I don’t know if this is really sad or creepy now…” JJ grimaced. He had spent the last fifteen minutes listening to John B and his ‘coincidental’ encounter with Sarah Cameron. And if he was being honest, he was concerned for his friend. And his stomach…this boy needed to let JJ eat his lunch before he had to hear one more comment about how ‘yellow is totally her colour’.

“I mean, it just compliments her complexion so well! C’mon, how many people do you know that can pull of yellow and not looked totally washed out!” John B argued. But JJ just met him with a blank stare.

“When the fuck did you become a fashion expert?” JJ spoke up, his nose scrunched in confusion.

“I took a class once.”

JJ looked at him with his mouth agape. “Who the fuck are you?”

“Piss off, I wanted to learn how to dress better.”

“Says the guy that wears horrible thrifted Hawaiian shirts.” JJ deadpanned. John B only rolled his eyes and turned his attention back onto Sarah.

JJ followed his line of sight towards Sarah Cameron and her group, and he was shocked at the sight. He noticed the usual people in their uptown outfits and obnoxious laughs he could unfortunately hear from his seat. But it was the sight of his chemistry partner looking quite cosy under Rafe’s arm that caught him off-guard. His eyebrows furrowed a little, but hey, JJ should have seen this coming. The uptown kids like to stick with each other. Yet, JJ couldn’t help but find the sight quite uncomfortable to look at—Rafe had that effect on people. It was a surprise he managed to score…JJ paused. He had spent a whole hour with her and yet, he didn’t even know her name.

He nudged John B, yet neither one of them looked away from the group. “Hey JB, who’s Sarah’s new chick?”

“Who?”

“The pretty curly haired one standing next to her, dumbass.”

“Oh…I don’t actually know—“

“—Kiara Carrera. Relocated here from Kernersville, North Carolina. Her father owns a large chain of restaurants around the country. She is also the only junior other than yours truly doing three AP classes, including environmental science, biology and English.” Pope finished, panting a little considering he had literally just ran into the cafeteria and heard the last few words of their conversation.

JJ looked up at Pope with a mix of awe and fear. “What, you forgot her national insurance number as well? How the fuck do you know all that?”

“The school files.” Pope answered easily as he turned his laptop around and with the screen facing them, JJ decided he was definitely a little scared of Pope.

“Those are meant to be locked away in some super, secret network thing!” JJ hissed, only to be met with a smirking Pope.

“As if, it’s easy as fuck to hack something as amateur as the school’s firewall. Could do it with my eyes closed.” He grinned at the two of them. “Why, JJ? Hiding something from us like…I don’t know…your middle name being Belinda.” He snickered.

“YOUR NAME IS BELINDA?!” John B gasped, looking at JJ with wide eyes.

“Shut up, would you!” JJ hissed at the both of them, leaning over the table to flick John B on the forehead. “I was named after my grandmother.”

“Aww, Grammie Belinda.” John B cooed. JJ only glared at him.

“Hey, Grammie Belinda was a saint, don’t disrespect her like that.” JJ huffed, pointing a finger towards John B. He then turned to Pope who had made himself comfortable in the seat next to him.

“Why were you asking about Kiara?” Pope asked JJ, snatching a few chips from his plate. JJ swatted his hand away but didn’t stop Pope from doing it again. “Does JJ have a little crush?” He teased, pouting a little.

“Piss off,” JJ laughed as he nudged Pope with his shoulder. “She’s just my chemistry partner.”

“Ooh, so you guys have chemistry together?” John B grinned, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Fuck off, JB. Go back to stalking your little uptown princess.” JJ commented, returning the grin as both friends shook their head. They both knew the other meant no harm.

“Well, if you two little lovebirds are done having your moment,” Pope piped up, both boys looking over at him. “I need you to meet me on your rooftop at nine sharp tonight.”

“Damn, Pope, finally taking me out?”

“You wish, Spider-Boy,” He grinned, but the look he was giving made JJ a little nervous for what Pope had hidden up his sleeve. It could honestly range from a pet raccoon he befriended to creating some weird Frankenstein bug. “Just be there.”

John B pouted. “What about me?! Is this where I become the third-wheel?”

**********

“Mama?”

“In here!”

JJ dropped his bag by the couch as he made his way to the kitchen, the soft sound of the click telling him the door shut behind him. He sniffed the air as he walked in, seeing his mum at the stove and grinned a little, pressing a kiss to her cheek.

“What’s for dinner?” He asked, peeking over her shoulder.

“Spaghetti,” She hummed, a soft smile on her lips as she peeked a glance at her son. “How was school?”

“The usual,” He answered with a shrug as he made his way to the fridge, grabbing a bottle of water before heading towards his usual spot on the counter. “Teachers still don’t appreciate my comments, Pope said smart things I didn’t understand and JB was a love-sick puppy.”

She grinned, shaking her head a little. “I find John B’s attempts to woo that girl quite admirable actually,” She commented. “It wouldn’t kill you to be a hopeless romantic every once in a while.” Yet, she only laughed when she saw JJ’s face scrunch up in disgust.

Despite JJ’s reputation for being an adrenaline junkie who loves to live life on the edge, these were actually his favourite moments. The little moments he shared with his mum, just the two of them. It is one of the few moments in his life where he feels relaxed, no expectations or pressures. And as sappy as it sounded—and no offence to John B and Pope—but JJ wasn’t ashamed to admit that she was one of his best friends, one of the few people in his life he truly cared about. People like her are the reason he enjoys being Spider-Man, because despite the shit people in the world, there were some genuinely good people out there, like Georgia Maybank.

It was hard to believe JJ and Georgia Maybank were related. She was a sweetheart, the type of woman who would take time out of her own life to volunteer at local food shelters despite having just done a twelve-hour shift at the hospital. She is the type of woman to buy flowers and hand them to strangers on the street just to brighten someone’s day. She is the type of woman who would work her ass off to give her son all that she could, despite the struggles she faced with the bills and rent because her son was her life. She was the opposite of JJ’s hyperactive self.

But boy, did they look very similar. From the sandy blonde hair the two of them shared, to the bright blue eyes, to even the exact same smile. JJ really was a carbon copy of his mother. And there was a small part of her, one she would never outwardly admit, that adored the fact JJ looked so much like her. Like a primal mother instinct, she loved her son and she loved that everyone knew he was her son. She would be damned if someone ever asked her to hide that.

Georgia was the type of mother that had that warm aura around her, the one that made you just trust her with your life. The hugs she gives just makes you want to stay in her arms forever, because everything is just better with Georgia Maybank. JJ knew that and he always reminded himself of that. No matter what shit he gets into, no matter how much he may envy the uptown kids—none of them will ever have Georgia Maybank and he would gladly flaunt that.

He may not have designer clothes or a fancy car to drive to school. But they don’t have Georgia Maybank, dancing around barefoot in the kitchen while she badly sings along to some old 80s song that is playing on the radio, just to make him crack a smile.

JJ grinned as his mother grabbed his hand, pulling off the counter before they jokingly began to waltz around the small kitchen, some classical song playing from the small radio that sat on the counter by the stove. JJ only laughed as he apologized for stepping on her toes again, but she didn’t mind. She just smiled and continued to dance.

“Why do I have to do this? I’m starving, woman!” He whined playfully as he twirled his mum around a few times.

“Because, JJ, one day you’re going to have a beautiful girl—or boy, I won’t assume—that will somehow fall for that charm of yours,” She spoke softly, placing a hand on her son’s cheek, a proud glint in her eyes when he rolled his eyes at her statement but still had a small smile on his face. “And I will be damned if I don’t teach my son how to sweep a girl off her feet.”

“Nothing says romantic like stepping on a girl’s toes.” He stated bluntly.

Georgia only laughed and ruffled his hair before she turned back to the stove. She grabbed two plates, putting in a larger portion for JJ—which with his new transformation wouldn’t actually be enough but he will sneak out during the night to eat the leftovers when she’s asleep—before placing them on the small dining table in the corner, gesturing for him to join her.

The rest of the dinner was fairly uneventful, simply just JJ telling her about John B’s updated seven-year plan with Sarah Cameron and Georgia sharing any particularly interesting stories about patients she had to deal with during her shift. JJ really let this dinner sink in. As much as he loved his mother, her inability to say ‘no’ and be so giving kind of bothered him. Because she had taken up extra shifts for a few of her colleagues due to something about the ‘stress of wedding planning’. JJ had been seeing her less and less—and though it was good for his recent Spider-Man shenanigans—this dinner made him realise just how much he missed her. Just a nice, wee dinner with his mum, nothing else. And everything seemed to be going well, until he heard the radio presenter’s voice flowing through the kitchen.

“Locals say that Spider-Man is the next best thing to happen to New York since deep-fried pizza! But I don’t know, Janet. I mean, who is this kid? Where did he come from? There just seems to be a lot of unanswered questions with this so-called hero. Can we really trust some prepubescent boy who probably spends his day with his head in a textbook? It just doesn’t seem—“

The radio presenter was cut off by Georgia turning the volume down. “People can’t appreciate a good gesture anymore.” She huffed. JJ watched her closely as she finished off washing the last of the dishes before turning to face him, a small frown on her lips.

“I think he’s doing the city a favour.” JJ said half-heartedly with a shrug.

Georgia nodded, her fingers gently fiddling with chain around her neck, well more specifically the gold ring attached to it. “I know but,” She sighed. “What a shame, putting all this pressure on a poor teenage boy. Oh, I feel bad for his parents!”

JJ coughed a little. “It could be his decision, you know.”

Georgia continued as though she hadn’t heard him. “I could only imagine how stressful it would be have your son out there, throwing himself at danger.” She shook her head as she made her way to where JJ still sat at the dining table. “Promise me you wouldn’t do something so careless?” She asked sweetly, gently cupping his face in her hands as she looked down at him.

Now, JJ knew there was a teasing tone to her words. She wasn’t being serious because, how could she? Her son being a superhero with crazy powers? Not possible. She and JJ shared everything and it was because of that he couldn’t help but feel a wave of guilt wash over him. He hated lying to his mum, he hated keeping secrets from her. They were always close, JJ never felt the need to hide things from her. There was always such a comfortable vibe between them. But he knew how she would react if he told her the truth. He knew she would freak out and make him stop. And JJ didn’t want to stop. As much as he hated the guilt that bubbled inside him, he pushed it away and gave her a grin.

“Of course not, I would come up with a better name than Spider-Man.” He joked lightly and closed his eyes when he felt his mum press a kiss to his forehead. He nuzzled his head slightly as he wrapped his arms around her, resting his head against her stomach. He smiled softly when he felt her hands running through his hair, just like the way she used to do when he was younger and struggling to fall asleep. He tried to hold back a yawn.

“That’s my baby boy.” She said with a gentle laugh.

“Mama, I’m a not a baby! I’m a man now.” He whined but he didn’t pull away from her grip just yet. He missed his mum’s hugs, sue him.

“You’ll always be my baby boy.” She commented with a small shrug.

“Yeah, yeah,” He murmured. After a few moments of silence, he looked up at her, giving the best puppy-dog eyes he could. She was always a sucker for those. “Can I go hang out with JB and Pope tonight?” He asked with a sweet smile.

She rolled her eyes but nodded. “Just be back before your father gets home.”

**********

JJ rubbed his hands together as he stared at the view from the roof. New York looked absolutely stunning this time of year, especially at night. The sky was pitch black, and it should’ve seemed daunting. But the bright lights of the city illuminated everything. It was mesmerising, a sight that JJ would never get tired of seeing. And with his newly discovered powers, he found something therapeutic about swinging around the city and being surrounded those bright lights. It felt like he was swinging through the stars—he obviously didn’t share that with the boys, they would take the piss out of him. Speaking of which…

“Where the fuck is he?” JJ hissed, turning to look at John B who only shrugged in response. As much as JJ liked New York at night, it was cold. The lower body temperature caused by the spider bite really didn’t help the situation. He had a hoodie and a jacket on and still the light breeze was making his teeth chatter.

“I don’t know.” John B shrugged. JJ rolled his eyes in annoyance. It was 9:15pm and JJ was about five minutes away from freezing to death.

Just then, the rooftop door opened and a wild Pope was sprinting towards then, panting heavily as he ripped his backpack off and quickly unzipped it. Words were leaving his lips but between the panting, neither of them could work out what he was saying.

“Dude, calm down, breathe!” John B exclaimed. Pope nodded and took a minute to catch himself.

“Your lives are gonna change forever!” He grinned before looking at JJ. “Strip.”

JJ raised his eyebrows. “What?”

“Strip.”

“Dude, it’s like fifty fucking degrees, I am not gonna fucking strip!”

“Stop whining and do it!”

JJ huffed and started to take his clothes off, muttering some very…colourful phrases towards Pope. However, he didn’t get much time to question his friend’s demands because the second he was stripped down to his boxers, he had a bunch of fabric thrown at him.

“Wait…is this…?” He trailed off, looking at Pope with a new look of excitement shining in his eyes.

“You bet,” Pope grinned. “Say hello to your brand-new suit, Spider-Man.”

JJ excitedly began to pull the suit on, suddenly forgetting all about his theatrics with the cold. But Pope wasn’t done with his surprise.

“The suit is a total upgrade!” He began, his hands moving wildly as he spoke. “The fabric is strong but flexible. I have added small web-shooters to go over your spinneret glands so you can have a more direct shots. There are a few extra things I’ve added like a small heater to keep you warm and a few sensors, so we can keep track of your vitals. Oh, and for us—” He paused before handing John B a silver bracelet.

John B looked at the bracelet in confusion. “Uh, thanks?”

Pope only grinned and showed John B that he was wearing a similar bracelet. He slipped it off before unclipping a small oval shaped device from the middle of the bracelet. “This is the coolest part,” He nodded for John B to copy his movements. “To be honest, these took the longest. I had JJ’s suit done like two weeks ago but—”

“And you made me wait this long? Dude, I looked like a weirdo running around in joggers!” JJ groaned, but there was no real hostility in his voice.

“Just put on your mask, dude!”

JJ rolled his eyes but didn’t answer as he slipped the mask over his face. He was a bit surprised at how easily he could see through it, way better than the goggles he had before. The suit was a perfect fit—props to Pope after it took an hour to get all of JJ’s measurements. The material was tight and breathable, practically clinging onto JJ like a second skin. Oddly enough, he felt far more comfortable in it than his last costume. Pope clearly liked the colour scheme, having kept the red and blue palette but with a massive spider on his chest, with lines wrapping around him to look like a web. He looked totally badass, he felt badass. He felt like a proper hero from one of those comic books and posters Pope has around his room.

“So, how do I look?” JJ asked, flexing as he gave the boys a little spin. Pope only grinned, proud of his creation. John B gasped, clearly just as hyped as JJ was.

“Dude, your ass looks great.” John B commented, causing JJ to snort.

“When does it not look great?”

“Guys! The last surprise!” Pope piped up, causing both boys to stop staring at JJ’s ass and instead turn to him.

“These little guys,” He said, nodding between the small oval devices in his and John B’s hands. “Are gonna help us keep in contact with you while you’re swinging around. Little ear pieces so we can help you out and keep tabs on you if you need any help.”

“Where’s my bracelet?” JJ frowned beneath the mask.

“You don’t need one, dumbass. Your ear piece is connected into your mask!” Pope grinned proudly. JJ let out a scoff, shaking his head.

“Pope, you fucking genius!” He yelled, and he pulled his friend into a tight hug. John B, feeling a little left out, quickly joined the hug.

“This is so cool, dude, now we are like an actual team!” John B grinned.

Pope was the first to pull back, looking at JJ with a wild look in his eyes. “I think it’s time for Spider-Man to show the city his new look.”

JJ grinned under the mask, already beginning to take a few steps back. “I think you’re right.” And without a second thought, he left himself fall off the edge of the building.

On that October night, New York watched their own hero swing through the streets, letting the cheers and whoops of the strangers sink in. They watched their hero in a new light, a more professional one. The next day, he was no longer that kid running around like some wannabe. He was Spider-Man, the new saviour of New York and a beloved hero.

It was wild what a good new suit could do for your reputation.

**********

“Did you see the pictures The Daily Bugle released?”

“He looked so hot!”

“I’d let him save me any day!”

“You don’t even know what he looks like…”

“So? Have you seen those arms? Nothing else matters!”

JJ couldn’t help but let the smirk on his face grow as he walked through the corridors of the school. It was the day after his new suit reveal and he wasn’t going to lie, he was soaking in all the attention. He was particularly enjoying the twitter thread that was made about his ass. John B didn’t lie, his ass did look good in this new suit.

He continued his way through the sea of students before he made it to his chemistry class, not surprised that people were still talking about Spider-Man. His eyes instantly glanced over at Kiara, who was sitting at their workbench scrolling through her phone.

He grinned as he quickly past the other students and sat quite comfortably in his seat. His eyebrows raised slightly when she didn’t react at first to his appearance. His curiosity got the best of him as he leaned towards her, peeking over her shoulder to see what she was looking at. Now, JJ won’t lie to you, but when he saw her staring at pictures of Spider-Man, his ego definitely inflated a little. Okay, maybe more than a little but you get the point.

“You a fan?” He couldn’t help but ask, trying to keep his smirk to himself.

Kiara quickly snapped her head to look at him, slamming her phone down screen first onto the desk. “Can you mind your business?” She huffed, trying to calm her heartbeat a little. She didn’t even hear him come in, which is odd since usually you could hear JJ from a mile away.

“Aw, c’mon, Kiara! I thought we were besties now.” He grinned to her, wiggling his eyebrows a little. He leaned forward on the desk, bringing him a little closer to her. His forearms were pressed against the desk, his body leaning on them. She noticed how close their hands were. But after yesterday, she refused to left JJ get under her skin again. Or at least let him see how much he is bothering her. So, she stayed where she was, not moving back like he expected.

“You know my name.” It wasn’t a question, more a statement.

“Surprised?” He whispered, smirking a little when he noticed he wasn’t moving away. JJ risked it a little more and moved a bit closer.

“Took you long enough.” She replied with a shrug. JJ’s grin only widened.

“Oh yeah, counting down the days, princess?” He raised an eyebrow. He noticed her lips quirk a little, like she was fighting back a smile.

“You wish, pretty boy.”

“You think I’m pretty?”

“Shut up.”

“I think someone has a little crush, Kiara.” He grinned at her, only to witness her roll her eyes and push him away.

“In your dreams, Maybank.”

“Oh, you’re definitely in my dreams, Kiara.”

She rolled her eyes again but didn’t bother replying this time. She instead focused her gaze on the front of the class as Mr Marino entered the room, beginning the lesson. But if she had glanced over to the blond sitting on his right, she would’ve seen he was smiling throughout the whole lesson.

**********

“Thank you, dear!”

JJ nodded his head a little in acknowledgement and gave the older woman a small salute. “Always here to help, ma’am.” He said, handing her the small handbag that he had just rescued from the hands of some man who had tried to steal it from her.

“Aw, you’re really starting to win over the senior citizens.”

JJ rolled his eyes when he heard Pope’s voice through his earpiece. “Dude, I think she pinched my ass.”

“Lucky you, older woman, that’s hot.”

“JB, shut up.”

JJ snorted a little at the bickering, extending his arm out before he was swinging between the buildings with no trouble. He had been using any free time he had lately to be out in his suit, getting used to all the cool, extra bits that Pope had added. And he won’t lie, the boy really outdid himself. JJ felt like a total badass, being able to swing around and save people and feel like a real hero. He also enjoyed the change in attitude people had with him. He was Spider-Man, the city hero. He was appreciated. He was wanted. Not something JJ felt very often.

“Anything happening around town?” JJ asked, his eyes scanning the streets below, waiting to see any conflict. He couldn’t help but feel as though there was a part of him that was on edge. He couldn’t really explain it, it was like a bad shiver down his spine. It was a similar feeling he felt before that bank robbery fiasco a few weeks ago. It was a nasty wee feeling, one that had him on alert. Something was wrong, he didn’t know what. But he could sense it.

“Nah, everything seems to be fine. Maybe you should take a break, you’ve been swinging around for, like, three hours. You need to rest, dude.”

“What?” JJ muttered, so quiet that the boys on the other side barely heard him. That couldn’t be right, he can feel it. Something isn’t right, something bad is going to happen. “Guys, are you—”

He was cut off by a series of screams.

JJ’s body was reacting way before his brain did, like his hero side just leaped into action at the alert of any distress. He was swinging as fast as he could, his arms burning a little as he got closer and closer to the sound of those screams. He could hear his blood pumping in his ears, could feel his heart rate pick up. The adrenaline coursing through him, making him forget about the burning in his muscles from the three hours of patrolling he had done.

“That’s fucking weird, there is no police reports coming through.”

JJ ignored the voices coming through the earpiece, his whole body feeling rigid as he crouched on top of a building, looking at the carnage below. There, in the middle of the square stood what looked like a moving black cloud. Civilians were screaming and running away, but the black cloud just remained. His eyes narrowed slightly, like he was waiting for it to do something, to lash out. But it didn’t. He opened his mouth, ready to ask Pope if he was just imagining something when he heard the black cloud speak.

“Spider-Man, oh Spider-Man! Come out, come out wherever you are!” It spoke in a raspy, demonic voice. Whatever this way, it wasn’t human. JJ may have failed biology, but he knew that for sure.

“JJ, don’t. We are have no idea what this thing is. It could be a trap—”

“I got this, Pope.” JJ muttered, ignoring his friends’ pleas to think this through as he swung down, landing a couple of feet away from the black cloud. “You called?”

Suddenly, in the middle of the cloud, JJ swore he could see lips begin to materialise. He frowned beneath the mask but didn’t move away. His fist was clenched at the side, ready to react if the cloud tried anything.

“Ah, we finally meet, Spider-Man.” The cloud spoke again. The voice sent shivers down his spine. JJ pushed away that feeling of discomfort. Something about the cloud felt familiar, but he couldn’t tell what. It was like an annoying itch he couldn’t reach.

“Am I supposed to know who you are?” JJ questioned. “Look, dude, if you’re a fan, I appreciate it, but you don’t need to scare away a whole block of people to get my attention. You can just ask for an autograph like everyone else.”

“JJ stop provoking it!”

“You’ll know me soon enough.” The voice replied ambiguously. JJ furrowed his eyebrows together. Whatever this cloud was, it was being far too vague for JJ’s liking.

“PEOPLE OF NEW YORK, I SPEAK OUT TO YOU!”

JJ winced, clutching his ears. His body was on high-alert, his ears sensitive to pick out any small noise or rustle. He looked at the cloud and then at his surroundings, noticing how every screen—every phone, every billboard, every electrical compliance in this vicinity that he could see—was projecting the black cloud. It was broadcasting to the whole city. JJ couldn’t help but wonder where the fuck the hidden camera was. How was it doing this?

“YOU LABEL THIS KID AS YOUR HERO! YOU TRUST THIS CHILD WITH YOUR LIVES! YOU ARE FOOLISH!” The voice boomed, suddenly the black cloud began to form tentacles that were slithering from whatever was at the centre of it. “LET ME SHOW YOU THE TRUTH! LET ME SHOW YOU WHO YOU HAVE TO PROTECT YOU!”

JJ was a little too distracted by the concept of a cloud broadcasting to the city that he didn’t even notice one of the tentacles slithering towards him. It wrapped itself around his leg before swinging him into the nearest building.

JJ let out a small oomph as his body made contact with the brick wall. He could hear yelling in the distance, the sounds of people screaming. But nothing was overpowering the ringing in his ears as he slowly dragged himself to stand up.

“JJ, GET UP! JJ!”

“Jesus fucking Christ,” He muttered, blinking a few times before he turned back to look at the cloud. He felt the hairs on the back of his neck rise and quickly rolled over to the side, the tentacle that threw him smashing into the wall not even a second later. That rush of adrenaline hitting JJ again as he quickly swung out of there, not even looking behind him until he knew he was a good distance away to assess the situation.

“IS THIS WHO YOU WANT PROTECTING YOU? A COWARDLY TEENAGER? C’MON, SPIDER-MAN! LET’S SEE WHAT YOU’VE GOT!”

JJ swore under his breath, trying to catch up with his thoughts as he watched more tentacles appear from the cloud. “Where the fuck are they coming from?” He muttered before swinging down to a lower building rooftop, crouching at the edge. He narrowed his eyes as he extended his hand out, shooting a web towards the centre of the cloud. There had to be something solid within this thing, something he can grip on to, something he can fight. But he was met with nothing. “Fuck.” He frowned before he began to crawl down the side of the building.

“You seem a bit jealous, mate!” JJ called out, watching as all eight of the tentacles seemed to snap their attention towards him. God, that was scary. “Don’t you have to tell me some wild origin story before you kill me?”

“MY AIM ISN’T TO KILL YOU, SPIDER-MAN. NOT YET!”

“Oh, that’s really reassuring, thank you so much.”

“I WANT NEW YORK TO SEE HOW PATHETIC YOU ARE. HOW USELESS THEIR SAVIOUR IS.”

“A bit of an odd wish, if you ask me.” He murmured to himself, quickly snapping his wrist before swinging around the black cloud. He watched as the tentacles reached out for him, just grazing him as he swung between the buildings.

“JJ, FIGHT BACK!”

“How the fuck do I fight something that isn’t solid? Get a vacuum? If you have one big enough, please do share. Call the ghostbusters or something!”

He heard more screams, some closer than he expected. He assumed everyone ran off, but when he turned his head to the side, he noticed a man standing there, frozen in fear. More importantly, he saw a car heading straight towards the scared man.

“Shit, shit, shit,” JJ yelled as he quickly yanked his web, spinning around and landing in front of the man, his hands extended out in front of him. Seconds later he felt the impact of the car, the weight and momentum it came crashing in at hit him strong enough to make him slide back a few feet. “Go, dude!” He yelled at the man, who had finally come to his senses and thanked JJ profusely before sprinting away. JJ groaned and threw the car away from him, huffing slightly.

“HOLY SHIT, JJ! THAT WAS A CAR!”

“Oh, no shit, Sherlock! I thought it was Barbie’s Dreamhouse.” Only JJ would be sarcastic while his life is in threat.

But it was that sarcasm that distracted him long enough for one of the tentacles wrap around his ankle, yanking him down from the small jump he had taken so the web he was currently gripping snapped with ease, preventing him a quick escape like he planned. He didn’t even have time to scream before he noticed the tentacle bringing him closer to the middle of the cloud, his eyes widening slightly.

He wiggled around in the tentacle’s grip, trying to find a way out but it was relentless. He wasn’t sure what was real or not, not sure if he imagined screaming in his head or if he actually did as he was dropped into the centre of the cloud.

Then, he felt nothing.

JJ was vaguely aware of his surroundings. He didn’t know if his eyes were open or not, but it was dark. He tried to move his arm, but it felt constricted, like he was swimming in something really thick. His brain was screaming at him to call out for Pope and John B, to move his hands and swing out of here, to do something. But another part of JJ felt completely content in this situation. He couldn’t explain it, but something washed over him, like a massive electric shock that made him aware of just how…familiar this seemed. It was similar to the feeling he had earlier.

He felt safe, understood.

And then that feeling was gone.

Suddenly, JJ found himself being thrown around in circles, something holding a tight grip on his ankle. But soon enough, that let go too and JJ was soon flying through the air, too out of it to even react fast enough to web onto something or soften his eventual crash.

JJ felt the air be completely knocked out of him, his body bouncing off the concrete a couple of times before he rolled over. It took him a few attempts to finally open his eyes, take in his surroundings, to see he was in some dingy alleyway. He turned his head to the side, briefly seeing a black blob in the distance. He could hear some muffled yelling.

“HEED THIS AS A WARNING, SPIDER-MAN. NEXT TIME WE MEET, IT WILL BE OUR LAST!”

JJ vaguely furrowed his eyebrows together before turning his head to stare at the blue sky above instead. When the ringing and the muffling was over, he could hear the screams of his friends coming through the earpiece.

“JJ! JJ, PLEASE FUCKING ANSWER, DUDE!”

“JJ, ARE YOU DEAD?!”

“WHY WOULD HE FUCKING ANSWER IF HE WAS DEAD!”

“SHUT UP, I’M FLUSTERED!”

JJ frowned a little, his whole throat felt dry and numb. There was also a metallic taste in his mouth that told him he must’ve bitten his tongue at some point. God, he hated the taste of blood. “It…It felt…”

“OH MY GOD, JJ!”

“IT FELT LIKE WHAT BUD? YOU GOOD?”

“It felt just like me.” He finally got out.

Then everything went black.

[bonthebutchbait]

Hello simps, my tumblr was not working for a PHAT while so now i am BACK!! I have part 2 of that Funtime Freddy X Reader. Ill include a link to the wattpad version below and a AO3 link coming soon.

So without further ado, here is chapter two, 'My Favorite~'

Y/n woke up the next morning to the blaring of her alarm clock. It was a rainy Saturday morning, her favorite kind of weather. She decided to take a walk, but then stopped at the sound of music. She followed it to her roommate's room.

"Tanisha? What's up, girlie?" Y/n said, peeking her head in. "I heard 'Call Out My Name' by The Weeknd and I assumed that wasn't a good sign. What’s up?"

Tanisha didn't respond. Y/n walked in and sat on her bed next to her. She looked at her outfit. She wore her fluffy black robe with a matching bonnet on her head. Her glasses were on her forehead and she had a frown on her face.

"'Nish, 'Nish?" Y/n said, poking her face. Tanisha started to smile. "Nisha, come on goofy, tell me what’s going on?"

Tanisha started to laugh and swatted her hand away. "Dang it, Y/n! Ugh, I got fired from my job. So now I don't know what to do, money-wise."

Y/n looked at her, sympathetically. "Oh no! Dude, I’m so sorry. What happened?"

Tanisha shook her head. "I don't even know. It came out of nowhere. They said I was underqualified even with my years of dedication into my field. They gave my job to the owner's son, WHO DOESN'T EVEN LIKE WHAT HIS FATHER DOES! Ugh."

Y/n sat in silence for a bit. Then her face lit up.

"You could work with me!" Y/n exclaimed. Tanisha looked at her like she was crazy.

"There is no way in God's green earth I'm cleaning up after some dirty kids. I don't even know where they have been. Girl bye." She said.

"You wouldn't be doing that. You could be my assistant! You would just be in the office taking calls, meeting with adults, making decisions, just stuff that I would be doing too! Kinda like my right-hand man."

"I don't know…You know what, why not? It beats sucking up to rude old people just to keep your job. Barely."

"That's the spirit, now go start on breakfast. I’ll be in the shower, then we'll switch. Oh and wear something business casual, ok? Ok, great, thanks!" Y/n said, running out the room and into the shower. Tanisha didn't even get a word in, so she trudged her way into the kitchen.

"Man, nothing gets the day started better than bacon and hashbrowns. Oh, would you look at the time! We gotta go!" Y/n said, getting up and putting her drink in a to-go cup. Tanisha nodded and finished her bite and got up from the table. She grabbed a big purse and threw on some sunglasses. Y/n looked at her outfit. Tanisha had on a black long-sleeved button-up shirt paired tucked into a pair of black bootcut slacks and simple black heels. Her hair was pulled into a low bun and her baby hairs were laid down. All paired with gold hoops, a black and gold belt, and clear lipgloss.

"You look hot. Are you ready?" Y/n said, turning for the door.

"Well hold up now. Lemme see you, bestie!" Tanisha said. Y/n laughed and turned around. She had on a black, mid-thigh length cable knit dress paired with a silver statement necklace and black ankle heeled boots. She wore her hair in [whatever style you would wear it in] with her favorite hair clip. It was a pink pig with a blue butterfly on its nose.

"Oooh! You cute, now let’s go!" Tanisha said. They both walked out of their house and into Y/n's car.

Y/n pulled into the Circus Baby's Pizza World parking lot. Both girls hopped out and started into the building.

"Now, for your first duty, you will be following me around and making a checklist. These are things I need to upgrade and change around here. So you can start with Repaint the outside sign. Just look at it." Y/n said, unlocking to door. "Also, Install Ring door system. Just so I can monitor the pizzeria inside and out when I'm away."

Tanisha pulled out her phone and jotted both things down. Both girls headed to the office. They set their bags on the desk and Tanisha kicked her heels off. Y/n walked out and started down towards the kitchen with Tanisha following close behind.

"Hmm." Y/n said, looking around. "It looks clean in here, so that’s good."

She opened the refrigerator and looked around. She observed the balls of pizza dough wrapped up and containers of various pizza toppings.

"Put down Add salad bar and Add 'make your own pizza station'. I think that would be nice. Also, put down, Have day shift clean ovens and microwaves every 2 days, after each big party. That may change later. Now, I have to test each animatronic for their showtime audios and what not. While I'm doing that, you can look in each room and write down anything you think needs to be tweaked, upgraded, or added in. Okay?" Y/n said as she walked out and towards Funtime Auditorium. Tanisha nodded and walked into the Circus Gallery. Y/n flicked on the light and walked to the control panel next to Funtime Freddy's stage. She took out a pen and a mini notebook and pressed the blue button. Y/n watched the stage lights flash on and off and music began to flare from the two big speakers towards the stage. A voice spoke from behind a curtain. The voice sounded very much excited.

"Okay! L-ladies and g-g-gentlemen, boys and girls-s, its time for the Funtime-time Freddy show-ow!" The voice glitched, ending a psychotic giggle. Y/n rested her chin in her hand while a pen laid in her other. She began writing on the pad. FunFred's voice is glitchy, have someone repair it. She set it down and looked to the stage. The curtain moved aside to reveal the Freddy animatronic, moving about.

"Hey, Freddy!" The little bunny hand puppet exclaimed and crossed his arms, "You forgot to introduce me to everyone. Hmph!"

"Oh Bon Bon, I would never forget about you! You're my best friend! Everyone, this is my best friend in the entire world, Bonnie the Bunny. But everyone calls him 'Bon Bon'. Say hello Bon Bon!"

"Hello everybody!" The bunny cheered, but he looked around.

Y/n picked up on this and wrote it down in her notebook. Bonnie’s hand puppet acts as an extra set of eyes. Maybe to scan the room to see how many people are present? She set her pen down and looked back up. The bunny was still looking around the room.

"Freddy, where is everybody? I don't see anybody" Bon Bon said, holding his paw to his nose. Freddy looked around the room too.

"Oh Bon Bon, you silly goose, there someone is! I see you over there in the dark! Come on out!"

Y/n looked around. ‘Of course, he’s talking to me, I’m the only other one in the room’, she thought. She got up from her seat in the back and sat closer to the stage.

“Wh-what’s your name-your name?” Freddy asked. Y/n furrower here eyes in confusion.

“Its...Y/n?” She said, tapping her leg with the pen.

“Y-Y/n! That’s such a fun name! Don’t you think so, Bo-Bon Bon?”

“Yep!”

Y/n squinted and smiled and continued watching the show.

======

“Hey, I’m done. What now?” Tanisha said opening the door. She heard Y/n’s laughing sound all through the auditorium and through the halls. She stepped in and walked towards her.

“Are you ok? I haven’t heard you laugh like this in a while. What’s so funny?” Tanisha asked, looking at her. Y/n didn’t answer, instead, she pointed to the stage, wiping a tear.

“Girl this stage show is so funny! I might have to spend more time here!” Y/n said, taking a breath. “When we get back, you gotta tell me what you saw and what changes need to be made. Tanisha nodded in response. Freddy heard the complements Y/n gave and wiggled his ears.

“Girl isn’t he so cute! I think I found my favorite performer.” Y/n said, resting her chin in her hand. Tanisha watched the show with her friend up until it was time to go.

“Don’t you have to shut him off?” She asked. Y/n nodded and got up.

“Yeah, but I don’t know how...Maybe it’s this red button.” Y/n said. Freddy was still talking to Bon Bon, but he tracked her with his eyes. The walked to the button and pressed it. A loud crackling noise sounded through the room. Both girls looked to the stage to see Freddy and Bonnie on their stage, not moving, frozen. Y/n’s mouth was agape for a moment.

“Did I just...zap him?” She asked. Tanisha was stunned too.

“Uhhh. I think so. Let’s go through, the vibe in here just shifted.” Tanish said walking backward and going back to the office. Y/n’s face fell but shifted to confusion at what her roommate said. She shrugged it off and walked closer. She grabbed Freddy’s hand.

“I’m so so so sorry. I didn’t know that would happen…” She whispered.

She let go and walked out of his room and towards the office.

[inkribbon796]

What We Do Best

Summary: A day where Jim, and Jim-like chaos reigns.

A/N: For the Jims birthday. There will be an egregious use of the word Jim. I’m sorry.

The Jims were simple Jims who loved but three things: being Jim, reporting the news, and chaos.

Some Jims were better at being Jim’s than others, which were just the facts.

Today, two of the best Jims were looking for the best news story, so they tailed Anti. A demon who had killed five different Jim’s trying to find the Jim that had split Lunky from King, but seemed to have gotten his most recent bloodlust for Jim hunting out of his system.

Today he was walking around a part of downtown Egoton, where he was in the wrong territory as usual, with Lunky and Mini. Lunky was in their 3D form and was supposed to be with Anti for “knife-appreciation” practice, Mini was not. The smaller android was nervous about being with Anti, but Lunky had made the older glitch demon promise not to hurt the android, or make him glitch up.

Anti chuckled, but he and Lunky swore on it. So Mini calmed down a little bit, but was still incredibly nervous.

The Jim’s followed Anti, sower of Jim-like chaos, for their next big story.

“Alright kids,” Anti smiled as they walked up to an outdoor café where there was a man in a pig mask over the top half of his face, with long braided pink hair. Several crows were hanging around the area. When the man saw Anti he trashed his drink and walked over to them. “This guy’s great.”

“Hey Anti, could we make this quick?” The masked man asked with an almost deadpan tone, a slight excited lilt to his voice. “I gotta go to my little sister’s dance recital and I gotta make sure I get a good seat so she can see me in the crowd.”

“Sure, sure,” Anti shrugged as he walked over. “Yer[1] usual?”

“Yeah,” he smiled before noticing Mini and Lunky. “What’s with the kids?”

“Ehh, I borrowed ‘em fer the day,”[2] Anti shrugged, ruffling Lunky’s hair. “My nephew got his soul split so I’m taking his spawnlin’[3] on a demon buildin’[4] field trip.”

The man in the pig mask knelt down to get a better look at Mini who ducked behind Lunky. The spawnling looked at Mini with a frown before glaring at the masked man and hissed at him.

“Is that a Google bot?” The masked man asked, his tone stiff. He slowly tracked his head up to look at Anti.

Mini had a minor spark of anxiety, his facial recognition couldn’t track the man or his mood very well.

“I am a Bing Mark 2 Extension,” Mini answered.

“A Bing, huh? Name’s Techno, kid, big fan of your old man’s work,” The masked man smiled, he promptly stood up and looked at Anti, “You got what I need, I got what you need.”

Anti smiled as his hand glitched and a large bag dripping with black gunk appeared in his hand. “Oooh yeah, big guy.”

Techno looked into the bag and gave a giddy chuckle, pulling out a skull, “Ohhh, yeah this is the good stuff.”

“Told you I can get fresher stuff than the last fooker, right? Anti grinned. “So yeh[5] got my shite[6]?”

Techno took out a small box out of his pocket and underhanded it to Anti. “Have fun, tell the world you got this from the Blade.”

Then Techno turned to look at the Jims who were not trying to stay hidden at all and were just recording everything they were doing.

“Hey Jims, want something?” The masked man called out, taking out an orb swirling with cyan and rot-green gas. Techno underhanded it to RJ, who thankfully caught it.

“We like Pig-Jim, he loves to make chaos,” RJ commented in excitement. Then he saw Lunky and gasped, “It’s the Squirrel Prince!”

Lunky let out an excited screech, still unable to summon one of his five knives he’d started getting from Anti and his uncles and aunt. Much to King’s relief because he kept them locked up at home.

At that moment, Mini got a message from Google, “Are you with Anti right now?”

“Yes.” Mini responded.

“Get away from him before he destroys your processors,” Google ordered in texts. “I’ll take care of him.”

“Uhhh, Mr. Anti, dude?” Mini asked.

“Ne’er, e’er call me that again,”[7] Anti demanded, acting like Mini had just insulted him. “It’s just Anti.”

“Oh, okay,” Mini corrected. “Anti, the main Google unit is coming to pick me up because I shouldn’t be with you.”

Techno and Anti looked at each other.

“How about no,” Techno decided.

“I know, Google’s such a buzz kill,” Anti tapped Lunky twice on the shoulder and the spawnling switched to 2D to climb up on his shoulders, and Anti began pushing Mini away. “Come on, let’s go ta yer other dads, they’re the fun ones.”[8]

“Anti!” Google shouted from some speaker somewhere. “Get your hands off that extension!”

Techno got in front of the camera as Anti grabbed Mini and Lunky and raced away. Google charged out of an electrical box and began chasing Anti.

“Glitch! Give me that extension!” Google demanded in an angry fury. The camera barely caught sight of the android racing behind Techno and heard his furious demand.

“Down with the cops!” Techno shouted over Google’s own demands. He took a vial and slammed it on the ground, smoke filling the air and obscuring vision. The anarchist was gone when the smoke cleared and what was in frame was Anti trying to play keep with an android and a demon spawnling as Google was trying to get Mini back into his drive so he could take him away from Anti.

So the Jims were left with an already loud and chaotic scene in front of them, and the orb in RJ’s hand.

RJ blinked and then tossed the orb onto the ground. The instant it hit the ground the orb burst open to look like a cage holding a cyan and rot-green energy and expanded ten times its size. There was a dull groan before a shambling, rotting corpse was spat out.

Lunky let out a confused screech, Anti made an excited cheer.

“Zombies!” Anti took out a set of knives.

Then a second one was spat out. And then a third. And a fourth.

Google made an angry hum, he and Mini immediately making notes on population growth. “The only thing worse than humans, are ones I have to kill twice.”

Mini sent warnings to Bing. Jackie already promised to race over with as many heroes as they could. All in all it only took ten minutes to get the zombie cage destroyed and anyone they’d bitten back to normal. By then fifty zombies had been created by the box and Logan immediately seized the object and any footage of it to determine how it was made.

Lunky and Mini were returned to the base.

The heroes found that the object was made and constructed from magic, from a gang the heroes had found magical trails from before.

Logan had been forced to concede defeat and that his expertise was ill-equipped to handle and handed the object over to Marvin and Roman for research.

Meanwhile the Jims were given a box in the dead of night with various cursed and enchanted trinkets insides. Objects that were meant to cause all sorts of trouble.

A gift the Jims very much enjoyed.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Post N/A: Yes there will be more SMP members in the fic, I’m still getting caught up but that’s okay because I still have to choose what canon I’m going to choose like I had to do with the Egos, Septics, and Egos. Techno was just the easiest to include first.

Heads up: next week is going to be a long fic. Currently it sits at 13 chapters long. Do you guys want me to dump it all at once, or over two days, or do you want one half this week and the next half next week? Either way there will be a different fic with the next half of Friday’s fic if they come out the same day.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Accessibility Translations

1. Your

2. Ehh, I borrowed them for the day

3. spawnling

4. building

5. you

6. shit

7. Never, ever call me that again,

8. Come on, let’s go to your other dads, they’re the fun ones.

[shadowsndaisies]

Stuffed [s.p.]

TGW19 → Blurb #1 → Stuffed

Fandom: Riverdale

Pairing: Sweet Pea (minor)

WC: 1260

Blurb Synopsis: just a little Thanksgiving meal inspired fluff piece for y’all

masterlist                     holiday masterlist

“I don’t think I’ll ever be able to eat again,” Veronica sighed dramatically as she slouched down on the sofa beside Archie. His arm immediately wrapped around her and her head fell to his chest. 

You were seated on the floor beside Sweetpea, both of you leaning back on the sofa which Fangs had laid out on. 

“That’s fine by me, more leftovers for my meals tomorrow,” Jughead chuckled from his position. His head was in Betty’s lap, his beanie temporarily forgotten on the dinner table as Betty’s baby pink nails raked through his raven locks. 

“It was so good!” Toni moaned out from the love seat with Cheryll. 

“TT’s right, you outdid yourself this year, (Y/n),” The redhead added, looking over to you. 

You smiled at the mass of teenagers in your home. This year your parents decided to travel for Thanksgiving leaving you and your twin, Reggie, home alone. Cooking has always been a passion of yours, so you decided to host Friendsgiving. They all showed up and it warmed your heart that they had enjoyed it. 

“She’s not wrong, it was incredible,” Fangs nodded. “And don’t get me started on the mini pies, that was genius!” he cheered and you offered a blinding smile. 

“That’s my sister, the culinary genius,” Reggie agreed as he finished starting the fire in the fireplace. 

“Dude, you’re set for life,” Archie joked and that gained chuckles from everyone. 

“We all are,” Betty noted and you shake your head and giggle. 

“Can I be an official taste tester when you have your own restaurant?” Jughead asked suddenly, sitting up from Betty’s lap to look you in the eyes.

You snorted at that, “Sure, Jug,” you mused. “If I ever get my own place, you can be the taste-tester.”

“I want in on that too,” Veronica decided as the young businesswoman that she was. 

“Sure, Ronnie,” you laughed, “you can be my financial investor.”

“What would you call it?” Archie asked.

You let out a little hum of thought while you scraped your brain for the perfect name, your hand began running through Sweet Pea’s hair as he had shifted his head to your lap. 

“What about the Bulldog’s Chow House?” Reggie offered and the serpents booed, your brother made a face and grabbed a pillow before sitting back in the armchair. “Haters,” he noted hugging the pillow.

“Maybe something more inclusive?” Betty offered. 

“Maybe you could use your name? (Y/n)’s, doesn’t have a bad ring to it?” Veronica tried. 

“I don’t know, seems a little….” you trailed. 

“Narcissistic?” Toni offered. 

“Kind of, but I do like the simplistic idea,” you counter. 

“Mantle’s,” Sweet Pea offered, it was the first time he’d spoken since you all had moved to the living room in your pajamas and stuffed to the max. 

“Mantle’s, I like that,” you smile, looking down at Sweet Pea and he stared right back at you. 

“Me too, it’s got that simplistic thing going for it,” Betty agreed. 

“It’s less narcissistic, and kind of has a cute family vibe going for it,” Toni agrees. 

“What would you specialize in?” Archie asked.

“Probably in fusion foods with a spectacular rotating dessert menu,” you mused, enjoying the little pipe dream you were all collectively creating while your imminent food coma’s got closer. 

“I might just have to let you have Reggie so you can actually make it a family thing. He could run the bar for you,” Veronica added. 

“What do you say, sis? Mantle’s a family business,” Reggie chuckled and you giggled. 

“Friends and Family,” you correct. “With Ronnie as an investor, Jughead as the official guinea pig, Cheryll could be the head hostess,” you add. 

“I would be honored,” Cheryll agreed and your gaze went back to Sweet Pea. His eyes were already on you, and you smiled down at the boy. 

“It can’t be in Riverdale, though, you need a bigger city,” Veronica decided. 

“We could go up to Phokipsie?” Betty offered. 

“Or south?” Archie added. 

“Like to Manhattan?” Reggie seemed excited by the concept. 

Your nose wrinkled, sure a bigger city would be better, but you weren’t sure how you felt about Manhattan. 

“Or Brooklyn,” Sweet Pea added and you loved the idea. 

“Brooklyn,” you repeated fondly. 

“Perfect,” Fangs agreed, “except Sweets and I need jobs too.”

“I wouldn’t mind a job either,” Archie noted and you laughed, the lot of you throwing ideas around.

You all fell asleep around 2 am, surrounded by sleeping bags, pillows, blankets, and each other. The concept of Mantle’s in your minds as your stuffed bodies won out over your brain.

The idea of Mantle’s wouldn’t be mentioned again until your junior year of culinary school. But the concept was burned in your brain. You had a paper from that Thanksgiving night your senior year of high school, the idea written out in different colors and multiple people’s handwriting. When you were 25 you opened a restaurant in Brooklyn, New York. Your old friend and now extremely successful businesswoman Veronica Andrews (nee Lodge) bankrolled the venture as a silent partner. Jughead Jones became your official taste tester while he continued to be a New York Best Selling Author, he even helped you finalize your menu. Archie Andrews was your live entertainment on Friday nights and helped you plan out the building requirements for the restaurant. Cheryll Blossom was your head hostess, and she was happily engaged to your favorite photographer Antonette “Toni” Topaz. Toni and Betty worked for the New York Times, Betty was rising the ranks quickly as a journalist and Toni’s fantastic eye had placed her the most envied photographer of the lot. Your brother spent his days wearing suits and rubbing elbows on Wall Street but in the evening he’d be behind your bar, mixing drinks, flirting, and smiling. Fangs and Sweet Pea were your General Managers and city eyes, they helped you pick out what to use as the seasons changed, and you trusted no one more than them to buy whatever was needed for the kitchen. You wore an apron most nights, a dress on others, bouncing between cooking with the other chefs and making sure your patrons were enjoying their nights. The red sign glistened in the light, Mantle’s. 

When you were 27 your boyfriend proposed to you, in your restaurant. Sweet Pea smiling at you as he slid the ring across the table to you. The cheeky nerves of this serpent.

When you were 30 Mantle’s was named as the best fusion food restaurant in the entire state of New York. The New York Times sent Betty Jones (nee Cooper) and Toni Topaz-Blossom to interview and take pictures. The article depicted a beautiful restaurant that was based on the relations between family and friends. 

When you were 31 you got pregnant and had a beautiful baby boy. 

When you were 34 you had a darling little girl. 

When you were 53 your son joined your restaurant’s business as a junior chef. 

At 58 you gave the keys to your kids; a daughter who would run the back end, balancing the books and mixing drinks, and a son who was leading the kitchen. 

At 60 your brother framed a very old piece of paper for you and had it placed on a wall in the restaurant. There were colored pens with scribbled handwriting matching at least 7 different people. Names are signed on the bottom and right at the top read, “MANTLE’S”. The paper had been the dream that you had come up with as a high schooler, and now it was your life and one of your greatest accomplishments. 

[queensdivas]

Hidden Blade Chapter 2

Did this all on a plane and a little bit today! Now that I’m done I plan on working on even more shit. Like my god has this winter break been busy af. But I hope you enjoy the new chapter because it was a little longer than I wanted it to be. 

Whoops. 

IF you would like to be tagged please let me know!

Next Chapter

Previous Chap

Masterlist 

Have you actually ever watched an episode of Leave it to Beaver? What even is that show? I get watching like Little House on the Prairie, M*A*S*H (God I love Mash) and even I Love Lucy. But it feels like this dude one loves his family shows. Don’t really see why but who the heck else knows in this crazy world. 

I walked into one of the trailers to see a very large English Mastiff come from around one of the shelves to start sniffing me. Slobbering all over my legs since wearing shorts instead of jeans or some sort of Eddie Bauer travel pants. 

“That’s Wally. Careful his slobber goes everywhere.” Four was flipping through a pile of passports as I looked at the wall that was covered with pictures, news articles, and maps. It kind of reminds you of that meme where the dude looks completely insane while trying to explain something. I sat down on one of the desk chairs that was empty as I noticed Leave it to Beaver was playing. 

“Did he get you hooked into it as well?” I leaned back as I noticed a large file that had Murat Alimov with a big red CIA stamp on it. Juicy! 

“So how come the people of Turgistan hasn’t revolted against the dick hole in charge?” Four asked as I opened the file to see his picture. 

“They need someone to get behind in order to start the revolution. Ya know. Someone to get behind. The French got behind Maximilien Robespierre, the people in South America had Simon Bolivar, and the list goes on and on. So without someone to properly lead them, what’s the point of starting a revolution when you don’t have someone to lead.” I began skimming through his file to see that THE STUPID AMERICANS GAVE HIM BACK TO HIS BROTHER!? Never let them do anything!!

“So how did one find you?” He asked as I closed the file then threw it on the desk. 

“Ummmm. God it was really weird and very ummm..perfect timing I should say.” Wally came over to put his head on my thighs as I began scratching the top of his head. 

“I travelled to Ahmedabad after the Assassination in South Sudan where I planned on shutting down a board of nasty men who were shipping child brides all over the world. Yet something that I have a nasty habit of is trying to put on shoes way bigger than mine!” 

8 

“ALI RUN YOUR ASS!” Screaming as I turned the corner that was leading towards the great hall of the palace. Ali came behind as guns began shooting at us from the top of the stairs. The front doors burst open as I darted to the left. 

Ali followed swiftly behind me as we slid into one of the living rooms to duck behind a couch. I released my mag to see I had eight rounds left, and we have to battle an entire palace full of guards! At Least the board is dead so that stops this nasty shit in this house!

“Ali! There’s a drop through the dining room that leads into the river!” I yelled over the gunfire as he checked his mag to count his bullets. 

“I got six! I’ll keep you covered!” He popped his head up to shoot one of them coming into the room. I popped up to shoot another guard as more came through the front door. God damn it we’re screwed! 

“You get your ass out of here now!” Ali screamed as I crawled over to where he was bunkered down and handed him the rest of my mags. 

“You follow me alright!” Grabbing a bottle of scotch then ripping apart of the sofa for the rag. I stuffed it, shook the bottle then pulled my lighter out of my pocket. I lit it then chucked it over to the middle of the great hall. 

“GO GO GO!” I yelled as we got up from behind the couch towards the window. He smashed the glass as I stuck my head out to see the drop. Jesus Christ that’s a little too high. Fuck fuck!

I climbed up onto the window ledge as I was about to jump as Ali began climbing up but was stabbed in his back. 

“SHIT ALI!” With his last bit of energy he pushed me off the ledge.

Sitting in my apartment as I stared at the picture of Ali and I during our weekend trip to El Arish. The one time I think it;s okay to work with a partner we end up becoming best friends and he gets stabbed in the back! Don’t worry I’m not one of those people who are like “I work alone since everyone I’ve loved has died!” Usually it’s too much work to have a partner or some sort of companion when it comes to this kind of work. 

Someone lightly knocked on my door as I pulled out my dagger to slowly approach the door. Fuck fuck who knows I live here? Looking through the peephole to see some GAP looking guy standing right infront of the door. Swinging the door open as it scared him a little bit till he held up his arms towards me. 

“Relax Machete. If I wanted to hurt you I wouldn’t have knocked on your door would I?” That’s what most people thought in the seventies and look how many people died because they thought this was...as I opened the door for this stranger.  

“I promise I’m not here to hurt you or anything. May I come in?” I can handle myself I think so if he tries something I’ll kick his ass. I lowered my dagger a little bit to move out of the way for him. He came into my apartment to look around in my little hole in the wall. 

“Cozy.” I followed him on the other side of the room. 

“Good idea. Keeping a safe distance from me. Which is why I’ve been looking at your field work. What you did in South Sudan and recently in Jordan. Quite impressed that they haven’t tracked you down yet.” He stared at the large replica painting of The Virgin on the rocks. 

“Love some Da Vinci paintings.” He acts like a much calmer Deadpool, also not as sarcastic as him. 

“So. Who are you? A rich person looking for security, I’m not a hitman so I’m not going to kill someone for ya. Drink?” I made it to the liquor shelf as I grabbed the bottle of Shieldaig Speyside. 

“No thank you.” He walked away from the painting then over to my original Pierre Mignard. See when you shut down a nasty group of people, I wanted this picture of some random women. I stood away from him still as he turned around, I took a sip of the drink as I waited for him to explain himself. 

“I get the feeling you enjoy killing those who want to cause harm onto the innocent. You wanna know what I see in you? I see someone who's willing to do some crazy shit in order to save the world. I mean you just jumped out of palace after destroying a child marriage cult. What if I could give you an endless amount of resources, even more targets, and more hands?” Definitely some better resources would be nice. But there is always some sort of catch in this situation. 

“You’re exactly what I’m looking for. Someone who isn’t afraid to truly get their hands dirty to save the world.” I do enjoy saving little parts of the world. 

“Now imagine taking down even bigger ass holes of the world.” Am I finally going after all of North Korea? God I really wanna destroy that pig with all my mighty! 

“So what’s the catch exactly?”

“You’ll be dead and can’t ever see your loved ones again.” Well jokes on this dude, haven’t seen my family in years and they probably thought I was dead anyhow so this works perfectly! 

“I’m in. Don’t worry about my family because they think I’m dead anyhow.” I walked over to him to shake his hand. 

“How the fuck he found you is still bizarre. Still have no idea how he found me in the middle of a robbery.” Wally began walking away as I put my feet on the desk. Now I’m super curious how he met the rest of them now since he ended up stalking me. 

“How did he find you?”

He began telling me how the robbery he was apart of turned into a shit hole of a plan for his ex girlfriend to basically take the jewels instead of saving him. Doesn’t surprise me in the slightest because hoes be loyal. His eyes...are just so damn enticing. The way the sun brightens them reminds you the top of a forest. A very endless forest before you. That little scar next to his eye is just very nice to look at as well. Kind of weird but I enjoy it. Does he have knuckle tattoos? (For the record I am listening, it’s called multitasking.) 

“Jesus he set you in a saw trap?” He reached into the mini fridge for two bottles of water since the sun was warming up the trailer like a sauna at this point. 

“Yet here you are getting a calm welcome when I thought the guy was going to blow off my fucking face.” He slid the water across the desk as I cracked it open. Wally and his drool began sniffing the water bottle as I tried to drink it. 

“But he did save my life after the fall so that’s the only good thing that happened that day.” He chugged some of his water as I nodded in agreement. 

“Wally. Wanna get my soldiers out and have a battle.” Beaver asked Wally as The next episode of leave it to beaver began playing so I turned my focus towards the tv. 

“Nah.” Wally told Beaver. Four turned up the TV as I noticed a box of Cheez-its next to the desk. I’ve heard these things very good for most American snack food.

“Four we’ve scored!” I yelled as I began opening the box of Cheez-its. Back to the show. We watched as Wally and his friends were tackling each other with Beaver stuck underneath them all.

“Poor Beaver. Such a sweet little kid.” I stuffed a bunch of cheez-its in my mouth then passed four the box. 

“One is completely obsessed with this show, he makes all these references for it all the time. I think he’s an orphan actually, we got a little bet on it if you wanna put some money in.” Now that I think about it, I can totally see one being some sort of orphan or in the system. 

“Forty dollars.” I reached in my pocket to pull out my wallet, grabbing a couple of fives handing it to him. I know we should be working on finding his brother, or doing some sort of work but this is much more fun. 

“Wait they’re gonna charge Beaver three dollars just to join their club? I get that hanging out with little siblings can always be some sort of bother but wow what ass holes. Imagine being that cruel.” I commented as I threw a Cheez-it at Wally's friends after the tv. 

“Man. A time when your six year old son could talk to a random stranger asking on how to make money.” Four and I chuckled as Beaver came walking out of the garage with his “this space for rent sign” on him. I mean he’s trying harder than most people in this world so I have to give him credit where it’s due. 

“You two done? C’mon. Three thinks he onto something.” Five stuck her head into the trailer as Wally walked away from me as he kept to box of cheez-its with him. 

We walked into the trailer as three was listening very closely to a phone conversation as one and seven were talking to each other. I get the feeling that shit is about to go down if three finds the location of the four generals. 

“His top General knows the location of him so once they leave Turgistan for something, we go after them and figure out where the brother is.” One told seven as I began looking at the four pictures of the fuckers themselves. 

“You ever met people like them?” One asked as I kept staring at their pictures. Four handed me a box of Cheez-its. 

“I mean all monsters of humanity are usually either fat, old, or a man. Hell even all three for some massive destruction if history says anything. Or they have weird facial hair like Stalin or Hitler. Except for Elizabeth Bathory because that bitch was truly...

“Guys. Shut the fuck up.” Three barked as his face went from focused to ecstatic in a matter of seconds. 

“AH we’re going to Vegas baby!” Three laughed as he put their conversation on speaker. 

“This arms dealer will be meeting you at the speedway track around two for the deal.” God this is disgusting. Instead of trying to make our country a better place, go to Vegas to fuck some slut, spend your money, and to add on top of that get some dangerous chemicals so we can kill more people. Love it! 

“Las Vegas has more facial recognition software than any place on Earth.” One began telling two and three as I began turning down the volume of their conversations. 

“Oh I know what I’m gonna be!” Get this sinking feeling he loves dressing up. 

“Choose your disguises wisely.” Disguises? I have to dress up? If they think I’m going to wear a pencil dress, twelve inch heels, and a face full of makeup I will leave right now! 

“I’m a grown man, I can handle my shit.” 

“I don’t think that’s how the expression goes, don’t handle your shit. Flush it down the toilet like a grown-ass man. Be subtle. Blend in. Disappear. Me, two, and three are going to figure out where on earth they’re hiding his brother. Eight and four I want you two to intercept the gas, destroy it all, find the supplier and eliminate him. Sounds easy enough?” Yes. Going into Las Vegas, finding a bunch of illegal gas, destroy it, and be home by five. Definitely easy. 

“Just one question. How do you even destroy Sarin gas? Look I’m a pretty smart lady but destroying gas is something I’ve yet to achieve in my life one.” 

“Here. Study this before we leave for Vegas. Ya got 24 hours to nail it.” He slid a book across the table. 

How to Disable Sarin Gas Bombs for Dummies. 

Written by a Genius.

Handwritten and in a bright green binder. Glad to know we make handcrafted things in this squad. I opened the binder as it showed a step by step on how to disarm them. Kind of like when you’re building a lego set. Except instead of joy you get when you’re trying to build a spaceship, you end up pissing your pants because one fatal mistake and we die! 

“Love the homemade touch one. Very professional and doesn’t make me want to shit my pants in absolute fear.” I picked it up as we began dispersing.

“I’m just gonna take this with us. Rather us not die.” Telling four as I handed him the binder for him to start skimming through the binder. Gotta love the fact that my first mission with these guys is disarming a bunch of chemical bombs. Getting that sinking feeling again that they’re a bunch of chaotic people doing chaotic things. 

It’s absolutely perfect.

Taglist: 

@bonafiderocketqueen @filmslutt @imjustboredso @intoanothermind @4lendow-norris @wickedholland @takemetoneverland420​ @raylan-c​ @itsmeaudrieee​ @leah-halliwell92​

[iguessishouldbethankful]

Sly Cooper 1 Review:

As in, I recently completed the game and since I was asked to, I will give my review on it. I’m a little nervous because this is the first time I’m doing this, so hopefully I’ll get this right.

KEEP IN MIND: I did not grow up with this series, and I am going in after @oroanillado gifted me the entire series for the PS3. I am a new fan who basically grew up on Nintendo products, so my views might come off differently.

ALSO: SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Onto the review.

0. Initial Reaction:::::::::::::::::::::::::

I was pretty surprised how the game collection required no download or installation. So that was a good little bonus as I could immediately sit down and play it without much of a wait. As for the starting point on top of the roof... lemmie say that Sly is adorable at first glance. His movements are fluid and it’s very satisfying to control him--especially the fact that he has a bass sound to his steps that is beyond addictive. I love it.

Not to mention the music is nice. Not exactly as memorable, but I can listen to it and it does give the area a feel.

And then Bentley opened his mouth. Whew boy. Okay. Rok heard my live commentary every time he opened his mouth, so it’ll be a theme. It wasn’t that bad at first though so it’s mostly me wanting to explore the Police Station. It’s mostly a tutorial level so it’s nothing impressive, just giving the feels.

When Carmelita showed up, like expected, I was stunned by two things: she owns an extra fancy taser gun, and that slow as fuck taser gun is able to cause the destruction of public and private property as a massive scale. Ma’am, can we talk? Can you not blow up the cars?? LADY-

As for the comic style animation? Yes, perfect. I was looking forward to it and was not disappointed. I love the cartoony look it gives to the whole world. Which is something else I noticed--the feel and look of the game is very much like the love child of Banjo Kazooie and Psychonauts. The colors and collectathon.

Also the character motivations for Sly, Bentley and Murray are believable. All are orphans, and Sly saw his family get killed but the bad guys and the family book of thieves stolen. Carmelita? Eh, wish I had more context to her but good cop trying to catch the robber is good enough.

Note: I had no idea Carmelita was actually someone that worked for Interpol. My dumbass thought she was just a French cop. The more you know.

As for the hub safehouse area, it’s simple and direct to the point.

Okay. We good? Now onto the levels.

1. Tide of Terror:::::::::::::::::::

Sly dies in one shot.

Sly dies in one shot.

Sly dies in one shot.

No. This was okay. I was determined to find out how I could get around this. I explored the initial open area, collecting the coins and trying to get the bottles because I knew that the point of the games was to collect all pages, right? So I needed the bottles to get the clues so Bentley could give me the code. Thing is, I ran into a few problems on the get go. BESIDES SLY BEING A ONE HIT WONDERBOY.

I didn’t know I could pimp whack enemies with the cane. So I see this walrus looking mofo just hammering away on a boat and I’m like... How do I not aggro this dude. Keep to myself, reach areas I new I could jump to, and... OH FUCK THERE ARE BOTTLES ON THAT BOAT GOD DAMN IT! Fine. Let’s sneak in. By sneak I mean run around the walrus and realize that the guy just sees me and hammers harder. What? Okay then he doesn’t chase me. Get the bottles, realize after 5 minutes that Sly’s pimp ass cane can in fact obliterate the ship’s pole to get the last bottle, before trying to confront the walrus.

So I died the first time. Then I smacked him. You know, for a one hit wonder as Sly is, I appreciate that the enemies are the same as well. That balanced everything out and not made it a colorful furry version of Dark Souls. So off I go. Up the ladder and jumping right into the second area where there are search lights. I’m like okay, let me go around these and--

WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE ROSE BUSH KILLED SLY?!

GOD DAMN IT!!

Yes, a lot of this happened. It has been a while since I played a colorful game like this and I a lot of this is simple designing that is obvious, but I am also someone that enjoys finding other ways to get around them. So many choices in the game seems nonsensical. A raccoon unable to brush by some thorn bushes was rather hilarious. I was basically fussing at full volume while Rok was laughing at me. Which was good, I meant to be hilarious.

I discovered the wonders that were the search lights and that they are easily turned off in the small sections. That I could in fact dodge most attacks from the minor enemy characters. Realized that this damn raccoon cannot swim to save his damn life. LITERALLY.

kjsdbkjsd And then I realized that I was missing quite a few bottles once I got to the end. I was frustrated. I wanted to get them all already. So I went back and tried figuring out how to get them and I SWEAR TO GOD I CANNOT EVEN LOOK AT THE SAFE WITHOUT BENTLEY GOING “YOU DON’T HAVE THE BOTTLES NEEDED TO OPEN IT U-”

Bro. Bro I know. Bro please.

Shut the fuck up.

Got the bottles and moved on. Found out that I absolutely adore Sly being in a barrel and wanted to take that barrel with me everywhere but I couldn’t. Realized that Sly puts come paper cuts outs of his emblem in opened up safes and--can we talk about this? Does Sly just sit in his room with colored craft paper and cuts these out every night? Does he redo them if one comes out funky? Does he get glittery paper or is it like the kiddy kind? Does he do them in the van? Is it with scissors or an x-acto knife?! How do you make these bro you don’t simply walk into a FedEx’s Kinkos to print these out!

Anyway, I’m learning more tricks as I go along, getting all of the keys and bottles and I do go back to each stage to get all of the damn bottles because I am not leaving one behind because I really want all of the pages. I am also seeing all of the death animations Sly does and honestly, the humor in each of them is not lost on me at all. I adore them. The first time I saw him just realizing he’s gonna fall to his death and he just-

I busted laughing so hard and Rok got to hear me lmao oh my god-- But for real, most of his death animations are strangely adorable in my opinion. Especially when he just falls and his little leg twitches. They never made animations like that for other games I played so far (not even for Banjo Kazooie). And the lightness of everything makes it less frustration in my opinion. As though I had no problem if Sly died along the way. Whereas I would get way more frustrated with how Mario or Banjo would die.

Anyway those are my tidbits. But lemmie tell you something.Once I got to the last stage where I needed to get the 7 keys to access the final boss? There’s a treasure chest with crabs mini games.

FUCK. THAT. GAME.

The only reason I got through it was because I’m stubborn and I distracted my frustrations in my chat with Rok as I had this damn raccoon swim around in a submarine, killing about 100 crustaceans just for 40 chests!! 40! Not a normal number like 20 or 25. No. 40. That drove me nuts for some reason.

Anyway, finally got to the final boss after I collected all the horseshoes and lives around the main hub of the level, and then yeeted Sly from the canon ALA Wind Waker style.

Raleigh is freaking gross. Not in voice, but his animation made me feel really nasty with looking at him, which in my opinion was a good visual design and motivator to get rid of him faster. It was also easy to sort of find out what the boss fight was requiring from me in the end--making it so much easier as well. I guess for a kid it’s a bit more difficult and I can understand that. I just enjoyed the fights for having a repetitive nature that was satisfying. Like even if I died many times, the game didn’t throw me all the way out of the level at all. It restarted the fight from the beginning and that, to me, was a good way to introduce me to the entire function of a Sly Cooper 1 boss fight.

I felt happy when I defeated Raleigh. And of course, Sly isn’t a “killer” so froggo dude is still alive, just in prison after “HOT LATIN FOX LADY” caught him. Of course. Can someone tell me where Carmelita is from? Is she Spanish or Mexican or..? Like was that defined by the games or was it thrown up in the air?

Anyway, onto the next level.

2. Sunset Snake Eyes:::::::::::::::::::::

Lemmie just say that I actually enjoyed Mugshot’s backstory? It made me feel really sympathetic towards him in a way.... Despite him being a murderer but you know. It was a nice touch.

Okay so, are any of you familiar with the whole “Mickey Mouse is taking his dog Pluto for a walk” dilemma? Well, I had a moment like that as well in this section. Why? Because Mugshot has feral dogs all over his turf and that messes me up a lot for some reason. Like I always wondered how, evolutionary wise, can an anthro dog and a feral dog look so similar? I had a moment like that as well when reading Farewell, Beloved Falco. There was a feral pig in that comic and it bother the fuck out of me. But it didn’t impede me from playing the game.

The look was very much classical American desert wasteland in the middle of nowhere. Possibly southwest USA if I were to guess, and I liked the feel of the casinos and run down RVs, trailers and cars. However it made me question why this place was a junkyard almost if he kinda has a functioning casino. For Raleigh I could understand because it was a hideout, you do what you can right? Even if you have a fucking floating metal blimp over your hideout, like that won’t catch military attention at all, nooooooo--

But like, an abandoned casino suggests that it was once owned by the mafia or a mob, and just--Okay. Police regulations and gun control. Etc etc, I’m rambling on about things that have nothing to do with the game. Back to the design.

Again, collecting all the bottles like a desperate AA member that needs a hit for old times sake and running back to open up the safe. Can I just say that the names of each Cooper ancestor is rather amusing? Like some have the most dumb but adorable names. Huckleberry Cooper jfc--

And once I got into the main hub, I got my first taste of the “Murray can’t think without his stomach thus gets himself in trouble and needs to race his Moon Rover turned into a Van to win one of the keys” mini game and “Bentley told me I gotta keep you alive as you run through this area full of trigger happy criminals, Murray, plEASE STOP RUNNING IN FRONT OF MY BULLETS MURRAY-” mini game. Nice. Not as bad as the 40 treasure chests crabs.

Also, why would Mugshot or his minions just leave a red sports car running on reverse for days on end?? Anyway.

The inside of the casino was a nice section to play ngl. I enjoyed that a lot. The platforming too, despite some of the bottles being utterly difficult to get without having to die and do the entire section again to get them. And then comes the level when Carmelita decides to destroy private property because she’s after this dumbass raccoon. I wonder how she felt seeing him jump around back and forth breaking bottles and dodging her SLOW AS FUCK TASER GUN.

“Could you stand still?!”

“Nope. Not my fault you couldn’t get a license for a firearm.”

Finally I got to the Mugshot boss fight and like the first one, it was a very satisfying fight. Mugshot had me in stitches because he walked around with his long ass arms instead of his legs at first like lmao! Also once I got to the final third stage, I was all cautious and excite to jump around the wires. Yessss.

Defeated, all bottles collected, Carmelita caught this villain as well, and off we go... stealing shit from the USA before coming back to the Safehouse? Alrighty then.

3. Vicious Voodoo:::::::::::::::

Let me tell you something about myself. I have an intense love for Voodoo in video games. Started with Gabriel Knight: Sins of the Father, Princess and the Frog and I had an intense call back to one of the swamp areas of Banjo Kazooie in this level.

So basically, this is my favorite level.

I think it’s also the level where I argued the most with Bentley as well. Or at least the second one because, since the very first game, he keeps repeating the same obvious commands all the time with a constant reminder of press the O button. Sly? Sly?? SLY! PRESS THE O BUTTON! Bentley? You’re cute, but you gotta stop my dude.

The sliding effect on the long branches was a lot of fun, the tree enemies that had more than one hit kills were also satisfying to beat the shit out of. I also enjoyed the general murky color of the level in general. Just the spooky was definitely my aesthetic. You know what wasn’t my aesthetic? The first mini game I ran into, which was the candle mini game where Bentley would repeat himself all the time right at the start of if you had to restart the level. I muted the entire thing and had Sly mindlessly killing the fishes to turn on the candles while blabbing to Rok on the phone so it was easier for me not to get nervous about the time limit or the amount of candles I had to turn on. It was the same thing with the Chicken Gumbo mini game, but I didn’t mute that one. Because Bentley stayed quiet.

Also, @oroanillado​ is the biggest troll. I was on the beast section of the game and they did not describe to me what it was like. So I’m honestly not expecting much at all, just wanted to grab my bottles and go. Once I’m halfway though, and I already saw the water moving around I’m having Amnesia the Dark Descent flashbacks like OH SHIT OH FUK O Shi- But no. No. What got to me was... This intensely huge serpent coming out of the water and chasing me and my camera kept pointing BACK instead of pointing forward so I could navigate Sly out of that mess while also getting the fucking bottles along the way!!

I was shrieking!! I have an acute fear of things that are larger than normal (it’s connected to my Agoraphobia). I have that with whales and sharks and fish, so I usually avoid big mobs if possible in any game. Yes, including the 3 mythical dragons from Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild. @thekursedone-lylat​ was present when I was freaking out about saving Naydra and how huge it was. But at the same time I have a big fear of these sorts of creatures, I was laughing and cursing at the end of the level because honestly, Rok was having a good time and so was I.

Oh yes, also the other mini game where I had to navigate the same speed boat thingy and shoot down the on coming ghosts and flaming rocks was pretty annoying until I figured out I needed to destroy the pillars where the ghosts came from. Then it was easy.

But my absolute favorite section of this whole level was the Green Water Full of Body Parts and Bones. Bentley was losing his shit at the beginning of the level and I would accidentally yeet Sly into the water of decomposing bodies like yeah, yeah the turtle won’t like the smell of this. It was just a well designed level, so I had no problems having to redo it to get all the bottles again and again.

Now, the boss fight? I was warned about this ahead of time so I had to unfortunately put Mz. Ruby on mute so I would concentrate on her attacks but apparently they were supposed to go with the rhythm of the song and the Sly Cooper Collection messed that up? I think she was the only Boss I was really wanting to listen to as she talked because she was giving me good “yeah I’m bad, probably not the best one in the group, but I don’t care I’mma own up to it so try to dodge my attacks as best you can” vibes. It was also entertaining to see Sly go Neo with some of the commands.

All bottles collected and onto Winter in China.

4. Fire in the Sky::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Oh hey look, fireworks!

.....oh.

Surprisingly, this entire stage was rather meh to me? It worked like the others, felt like the others, but I really wasn’t as wowed by it. It might also be just the fact that I mostly saw white in general due to the snow, and spent most of my time looking for a few bottles on one section that really irritated me. Like I legitimately got mad in one section and didn’t want to deal with it because of the noises some of the monkeys were making.

This section. I hated it so much because I thought the bottles I was missing were in here and 2 of them were but I needed hints for it. Argh... Everything else in this section was pretty much a blur for me besides the two mini games with Murray, and the one level where Carmlita came back again, destroying more private and ancient property with her taser gun--and the main reason I remember this was because:

Carmelita saying she was going to catch criminal scum Sly and Sly just went “you really need to get woke, I’m not the bad guy here.”

I collected all the bottles but Bentley told me I had to defeat Clockwerk before I could open this damn safe, and it was the only one requiring this!!

Carmelita went down with the dragon statue, into the hypothermia levels of cold water while shaking her fist into the sky.

I will say the part of Sly and Bentley discussing the whole mechanics of Sly taking the rockets into Panda’s lair was pretty funny tho. Just,

Bentley: Hey you might be able to reach the top of the tower before these explode.

Sly: Okay but what if they explode before I get there?

Bentley: Then I guess you’ll blow up into many pieces.

Sly:

As for the Panda King boss fight, it was okay. I just kept running in circles around the arena while approaching the dude. Defeated him and was like okay, I really need to go and defeat Clockwerk now so I can open that safe.

5. The Cold Heart of Hate:::::::::::::::::::

Look.

I get Sly probably weighs next to nothing, Murray, but could you at least break once Sly gets knocked off the top of the van? Or when the rocks are falling down towards us, maybe also step on the breaks so not everyone is being driven to their ultimate death?

No?

Okay.

I will say, I headcanon that both Bentley and Sly were getting an intense case of whiplash when Murray was driving that van around at 120 MPH collecting all 60 computers because... Bentley needed those to hack into something??? It wasn’t as bad as the 40 crabs and treasure chests but man. And then of course there’s the section where, oh surprise surprise, Carmelita is in an obvious trap, slamming her fist on the glass, needing to be saved. Bentley warned Sly it was a trap. But of course Sly is like:

OH THANK GOD THE BARREL IS BACK.

Anyway, obvious trap is an obvious trap. Carm just bitches at Sly right as he gets stuck in the glass chamber and is sprayed with RAID. So Bentley has to save his ass. This is possibly the mini game I dislike the most. I just put Bentley on constantly circling mode as he shot down the targets.I died about 9000 times before I won.

Carmen is all Oh I was wrong about you the whole time Sly!

Sly: Duh.

And off we go to the next section where Sly lost his cane and he needs to recover it with Carm’s help. So I’m controlling Carm’s taser gun. Guess how many times I purposefully killed Sly? Many. For funsies. Because the gun magically got faster once I was behind the trigger.

Next section was the whole climb up the beam tower as it’s being consumed by lava! I very much enjoyed this whole climbing bit. It was fun. Again, died a lot and I actually glitched through the walls because I jumped somewhere I wasn’t supposed to and had to kill Sly along the way. But still very fun.

FINALLY.

CLOCKWERK.

Are we serious? Are we actually serious right now? Clockwerk had absolutely no motivation beyond ultimate hate? WHAT?! That’s just... not a satisfying reason ngl. Anyway, the jetpack flying section was probably the easiest thing ever and I loved it. What I didn’t like was the laser section that came after it... I kept dying. Again. FUCK. THOSE. LASERS.

Clockwerk speaking random little words while malfunctioning was super cute those. I don’t why, but I loved it. I was shrieking by the end of everything though because once I got right at the back end, where I’m supposed to jump on this mad owl, I was not expecting the head to jump on me. HHHHHHH!!!

Anyway, I killed Clockwerk dead. Back into the lava you go. Witnessed Sly give Carmelita the slip of the tongue and handcuffed her onto a railing over an active volcano before yeeting himself. Classy. Then back to his old tricks again with the gang. End credits.

NO WAIT.

The last chest. In the Panda section. Yeah I went back for that and got the extra ending.

0. MY RATING::::::::::::::::::::

Honestly, 8 trashcans out of 10. If Clockwerk actually had a believable motive besides hate, I’d give it a higher rating. But the game is satisfying and I love the mechanics of it.

Bentley just needs to chill the fuck up tho. God.