#one day ill get to have this date
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
if I can't have my dream first date during cuffing season then I guess I'll write steddie having it. I'm talking gingerbread houses first date, giving each other shit for how messy they get, laughing at the sad frosting dripping down the sides, how one of them keeps having to redo the foundation bc the walls won't fuckin stay up, stealing each others candy and eating it, sipping on hot coco while asking each other first date questions. one being better at it than the other so they have to help w the icing. killing each other's gingerbread men. shyly leaning onto each other while watching one of them decorate. holding hands before one of them has to go home with the snow outside. you know..just some stuff like that.
#yes im actively working on writing something okay?#if i manage to hang out w this one person im rizzing them up with this gingerbread house idea#this idea has to be used on someone special that youre getting to know otherwise youre not using it right#god YES IM GUILTY guilty for daydreaming about some cute girl or boy smiling at me and laughing while we get frosting on our faces#and getting sick from eating too many of those gummy things#whatever its fine#one day ill get to have this date#steddie#stranger things#eddie munson#steve harrington
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
renaissance dogys
characters belong to @canisalbus
#i love i loveeee ludovica sm shes so cute. ive only known her for 5 min but i fell in love with her design and i love her friendship#with vasco ^_^ i think them having each other makes hiding their sexualities a little less lonely so thats sweet#ik in modern au shes considered an old friend of vascos but i originally assumed she and vasco fake dated in college or smth#to get their parents off their backs until they came out properly and continued to stay in touch as friends after LMAO#im not very familiar with period fashion so i had to look at renaissance costumes as reference. but i have to admit i love the#high waistlines used in some of their dresses.. i have a minidress with a similar high waistline pressed against the chest and sleeves#also if u squint machete is holding a little paper bag in the 2nd photo which is supposed to be his lunch courtesy of vasco <3#idk what ludovica would wear in modern au but i thought poet shirts might suit her because theyre like somewhere evenly between#masc and femme. to me anyway.. based on observation lesbians seem to love poet shirts and i think she looks good in one#these are all shitposts.. ill draw serious art of them one of these days i promise#i listened to fools rush in and it reminds me of them.. especially when it goes 'though i see the danger there / if theres a chance#for me then i dont care' like its so poignant and bittersweet.. a little indulgent when u think of those small moments they have togethr#save me gay catholic furries... gay catholic furries... gay catholic furries save me#my art#myart#doodles#fanart#others ocs#canisalbus#fur#furry art#machete#vasco#vaschete#ludovica#sfw fur#furry#anthro
7K notes
·
View notes
Text
find another role, carry on the show
#EDIT IT DIDNT SAVE MY TAGS. hey so this post got a thousand notes huh. interesting. surely nothing will change#i'll leave all the old tags. for my thought process. and its kinda funny#take a bow stupid idiot (throws a tomato at them)#in stars and time#isat#siffrin#siffrin no middle names no last name ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧#... or is it. Smiles#i'd like to draw mira for her birthday but um (hasnt open artfight website in a few days) im scared.#also i have NICE ASKS TO ANSWER.... But im scared. give me a minute#Uawaaaaagh i drew this bc i was trying to animate a little bit but it just . Didnt look good. im not good ag 2d animation#tch. ill keep trying cause there ar e way too many songs that and now about isat because i have brain worms. i need amvs.#IM SCARED TO POST THINGS THAT ARE SPOILERY BECAUSE I WANT MY FRIENDS TO PLAY ISAT. BUT.#isat spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#sasasap#sasasa:p#WHAT IS THE PROLOGUES TAG.#tshirt that says 'i <3 killing the image in the mirror and taking its place' on the fromt#and a list of megan thee stallions tour dates on the back. お金稼ぐ俺らはスター#Im kind of tempted to edit this to be the versiom with the eyes. or maybe twt can have that. or. well#all of my friends are on twt (trombone slide sfx) so maybe thats where i should worry about spoilers.#ill see if i want to slap an eyepatch on them in the morning#Im one of those people who was like idgaf about twohats (lets it simmer for a week) Oh my god. Oh my god. Ohmy god#EDIT. i swapped it out for the Eyes version it should be fine as long as its tagged formspoilers right...#ill post eyepatch vers on twt partly bc spoilers but also ppl over there can be .. annoying ..... ....#i fear i would get 800 You Forgot The Eyepatch replies. PLEASE JUST SEE MY VISION.#[BANGING MY HANDS ON THE GLASS] HIS HAND. LIKE IN THE PROLOGUE. WHEN THEYE. HANDS. HELD[EXPLOSION
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
Anyway speaking of poly trios. Have any of you considered Lawlusan because MANNNN.
#Shima speaks#Not even going to get into the absolute fucking shitshow (affectionate) that Lawsan is#(Okay maybe a little bit listen Sanji is SO MUCH like Cora I'm sure it would give Law some kind of complex)#(And Law's fanboying over the Sora comics would make Sanji uncomfortable probably. Lol)#Anyway anyway anyway#Luffy having to be the babysitter which is NOT RIGHT bc it's LUFFY.#But Law and Sanji don't take care of themselves sometimes!! And Law is the fucking DOCTOR in the relationship!!!#Sanji making Law eat tho and keeping track of his diet as well as Luffy's#Law keeping an eye on Sanji's body and his mutations...#Law and Luffy finding Sanji UTTERLY CHARMING even tho Sanji's SUCH a fucking loser#Luffy & Sanji @ Law: Man he's so fucking cool. What#Meanwhile Law is ALSO a loser#Law and Sanji about Luffy are like. I'm dating the sun. The sun incarnate. Literal sunshine personified#Law being the one to keep a level head when everything's gone to shit. Bc even Sanji can lose his cool sometimes#Luffy loving his grumpy boyfriends so so so SO much it's unreal#Law and Sanji having a Limit on how much they can be cuddled in one day -#But it's perfect bc they can trade Luffy off with each other bc we all know he's clingy af#Law: Need space. Can you go cuddle Sanji-ya#Luffy: Okay Torao <333333#Sanji: Law get sick of you?#.Luffy: He needed space!!! Anyway I'm going to cuddle you now#Sanji: C'mere then <3#I'm ill. Tee hee.#Lawlusan#Lawlu#Sanlu#Lawsan#One Piece
87 notes
·
View notes
Text
MiqoMarch Day 23 - Midnight
With their intended voyage into the void only a few days out, Arsay thought it the upmost importance that she steal her partner away to Kugane, that they might share one more fond memory together should things not turn out the way they plan in the thirteenth. It was as they crossed the very same bridge the miqo'te had once sat on together two years prior when Arsay gifted Y'shtola with a bracelet matching that of her own. A token of endearment which, Arsay confessed, she would have given to her fellow scion back then, had nerves not gotten the best of her. While their relationship has undoubtedly changed since the initial purchase of the jewellery, the sentiment remained the same. Y'shtola was someone who Arsay loved dearly and she will forever be grateful to have the seeker's life intertwined with her own. No matter where their free spirits took them, they would always hold each other in their hearts. A promise Y'shtola was more than willing to keep. She slipped the the string of beads around her wrist without a second thought. They were never to come off, not even when the two decided to delay their return to Radz-at-Han in favour of a private bath at the dead of night.
#miqomarch#miqomarch 2024#ffxiv#y'shtola rhul#y'shtola x wol#wolshtola#arsay nun lore#arshtola#thanks to nhaneh for the body mod#i had to do some insane fov to get the moon and them in the same shot so sorry for the distortion#forcing arshtola lore into this prompt since idk when Ill ever get around to gposing the actual scene#this is between 6.1 and 6.2!#endwalker patch spoilers#i had the idea that arsay bought the Dai-ryumyaku bracelets from a vendor between 4.3 n 4.4 when shtola is off to the doman enclave#and arsay is like hey wait you should let me show you around kugane on the way over!#a fun friend date that ends with shtola finally accepting she has a crush on arsay and its terminal#and arsay having a single moment where she starts reflecting on feelings & thinks maybe she missed hanging out w/shtola more than she shoul#only to quickly butt that idea out of her head and continue being super normal#arsay notices these matching bracelets with red and purple string and shes like oh they are so cute and they look like#they belong in a pair it would be so sad if they were ever split up unexpectedly#i know ill buy them and give one to shtola wouldnt that be fun!#so she does that and then cant bring herself to give yshtola the damn thing because she starts second guessing herself#so arsay stashes the bracelets away and she started wearing hers later under her glove#fast forward to two years later and arsay finds the other one in one of her bags#and now shes dating yshtola and they are about to go somewhere super dangerous#what better time to tell your gf how much they have always meant to you#and what better way to do it than with a gift and some words spoken from the heart?#it was a little unconventional since arsay didnt really have marriage on the mind but it was a proposal in a sense#WOL posting#Arsay Nun
65 notes
·
View notes
Text
WIP Wednesday
I fucked off for a good while so I know @direwombat and @g0dspeeed tagged me and I thank them for including me in the fun even if Im a month late to the party 🫡 This is a massive jump in the single mom/blind date verse but the idea reminded me of a story I was told and I couldn’t help but laugh and incorporate it into the overall story. Remember to go to your follow up appointment after a vasectomy, kids
Tagging; @socially-awkward-skeleton @391780 @kneelingshadowsalome @ceilidho @glossysoap @divine--serenity @thanksbutno98 @luminousbeings-crudematter @deadbranch and any moots that I missed ;.;
Kate sits with her coffee in hand, watching as Love settles into the chair across from her, visibly pleased with the prospect of her own coffee.
They’re usually fond of companionable silence, a murmured morning in the greeting (Not good morning, as Love is never a willing morning person), before sticking their noses in their respective tablets and fiddling with emails and tasks despite this supposed to be a time for break.
Kate is neck deep wheeling and dealing as usual when she hears displeased muttering across the table. Glancing up, Love has her coffee in hand and a sour look on her face. “Everything alright?” She asks as the muttering continues.
“I’m going to kill him.”
Kate is not following. “You’re going to what?”
Love has a face as serious as a heart attack, eyes narrowing at Kate across the way. “I’m going to succeed where terrorist cells across the world have failed, and I am going to kill John Price.”
Given Love’s pleasant mood not two minutes ago, Kate can’t help but wonder what the hell happened in such a short time span that John’s landed himself in hot water.
“What’d he do?” Ever nosy, Kate’s penchant for learning everything has served her well at her job.
“I’m fucking pregnant. Again,” she elaborates while gesturing at the coffee with her free hand.
“Ignoring the fact that you announcing you’re going to kill him makes it premeditated- before you go to prison for the murder of a S.A.S. Captain, do you want to,” Kate pauses as she pretends to think, “I dunno, maybe pee on a stick?”
“This,” another gesture to the coffee, “is better than a blood test. The only stick I need is the one I’m going to shove up his ass.”
#one of these days Im gonna make a damn opt in list so I have all the moots in one place#maybe Ill do it when I get home LMAO#my brain is not working if your a moot and you wanna be tagged THIS IS YOUR TAG#john price x reader#blind date#single mom reader#single!mom verse#wip wednesday
99 notes
·
View notes
Text
any horror dating sim recs?
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/0c617c4642caf80d51318d75a242aae8/82677478e2be1867-55/s540x810/f6ae0f70c0ba4538dba983727d4c15293c6869f6.jpg)
#horror dating sim#pls pls pls#these r the ones ive played#off the top of my head#klein v.0.1 -- 14 days with you -- duality -- where winter crows go -- karamu -- the kid in the back -- billionaire lovers#oo also doki doki literature club (but that was years ago)#i thinks thats all#i have a few others on my list i need to get too but im about to be out lol#it can be a demo of course!#hoping someone sees this#it can be gl or bl or otome!#it can also be just whatever falls under dating sim#ill play it if its good#not higurashi. shsyys#horror romance#dating sim#otome
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
youtube
Laura and Dustin experimenting with crowd interaction while playing Those Anarcho Punks are Mysterious at a beach party in 2001. Uploaded by Jim Marshall Original poster unknown
#easiest carbon dating of my life. like this is shrimply acoust me. extremely short lived iteration of the band#against me!#laura jane grace#dustin fridkin#pre-axl#2001#video#acoustic ep#ah fuck i need to get a proper tag system in order one of these days for the pre-axls#i think pre-axl is the tag but i dont have it written down#anyways theres also one of them playing rar ill post eventually#also i decided to embed it this time#i mean i have it downloaded but idk the video has 17 views why not throw some over there#like if the vid ever goes down i have a backup#Youtube
26 notes
·
View notes
Text
I think I should say it right now for the new influx of follower but please consider unfollowing me if, Gore, child death and pregnancy horror is something triggering to you.
There's nothing of it yet and nothing extremely graphic persay ( making comics take 5 million years and this is my first time taking jabs at that ) but id rather not make it a suprise. it's better to be safe than sorry !
#prattles#ill update my pinned frequently if more things come up also added a little date on there#there's many more but technically hopefully i don't have to tag most of those bc i'm assuming that's something to be expected of for cotl#i'm not aiming to make anything overly edgy I avoid exacerbating as much as i can. if id describe it from my own words it'd be depressing#so sorries 💔 one day ill get the lambs of god synopsis up and itd be written badly but its better than nothang 🫶 yay
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
I've never leveled up a syndicate more than I have with The Hex. It's only been 6 days and I'm already level 4 with them
#this is bc I want to kiss arthur#which I have stated before#it becomes a bit of a challenge when QUINCY KEEPS FLIRTING WITH ME THOUGH !!!#DE please give us the option to date more than one Hex member bc I want Quincy too 😔#warframe posting#every single day I've been getting hex treasures and getting to my standing cap#I'm mentally ill this isn't surprising
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
is this anything. do you guys see it.
no one was ever good enough for you, dude. gee, mac, it's almost like both of you are performing compulsory heterosexuality and aggressively asserting your masculinity via artificial means and it's making you miserable. trying to regain a self-assuredness that never was. idealizing the past. not wanting to move on. going through the motions of what you Think a man should be, what he should want, what he should aspire to be.
stay in the river. you were happy before, right? your cool car and your arm-candy made you feel good, once upon a time. you felt admired, respected, envied. but no one was ever good enough for you, dude. so i got self conscious and i stopped. because of you i changed who i am at my core. no more banging chicks, because they're not good enough for dennis. they're never good enough for dennis. just him and an undecided, unnamed babe. just him and his high school sweetheart. i don't love you, maureen. i never loved you. you like babes, bob? who doesn't like babes?
don't grow. don't mature. yearn for someone who will share in your misery and be perfectly content with it. you don't want someone to try and change you. you're perfect. you were perfect before they changed you. before you were their chauffeur. carting them around in your cool car. cut them out, they're getting too close. getting a little too comfortable filling those seats. the car is full. it's too much. too much.
were you really happier before, dennis? or have you simply grown numb to your past misery?
#iasip#it's always sunny in philadelphia#dennis reynolds#character meta#if i could just fucking put into words. the longass meta i have about misses the boat. but i can't...... i can't do it justice.#this episode is. just. such a fucking masterpiece. on so many levels.#not even going to ATTEMPT to touch the parallels with the rest of the gang's plots this ep.#i was going to put his group dates speech in here like i did with sweet dee gets audited but. fucking hell man#one day ill make something coherent#ada speaks#ada's videos
97 notes
·
View notes
Text
Greetings Starstruck enjoyers, I bring a fic that has been brewing in my head on and off for a couple months, hope you enjoy :]
#juniper will never realise reggie is taking him on pseudo dates i fear. i fear he is too deep in repressed feelings for that#however#i am VERY proud of this#it's rare that I feel I've captured something in my head and put it into words#idk i picture scenes so vividly and i can almost never articulate it#but i think i got it !!#i knoe the fandom is having an off season rn (ish) so this might not be seen much but idc im hyped abt this#god i love those two so much#so fucking much ouh#eventually ill get out of the writing thrm yearning and have them together#because oh my god i have so many more thoughtd about it i just get flustered LMAO#i will get to it one day though. i think there's something so good about this ship (they have 1 canon interaction (a voicemail))#sighs whistfully. schell games hear me out#[agent moose's writing]#ieytd#i expect you to die#john juniper#reginald crane#junicrane#starstruck
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
tired girl hours i’m just ranting bcos i don’t have enough time to cry
#tw rant#studying med is no joke. ik it was gonna be a commitment n that it wasnt gonna be easy n i thought i was prepared but im not#its my passion. i love what im studying and ive dedicated myself to this path but i just. its so hard n i just want to cry. everyday feels#so tiring. morning to night classes. when i get home i have to read 4 chapters MINIMUM n the books are so thick + exams almost everyday#i feel worse knowing there’s this 1 girl in my friend group that cant decide whether she likes me or not. one moment shes complimenting me#n asking where i get my outfits or my nails done or my earrings or whatever then praising me that i probably study the least out of everyone#yet still reach high student rankings but its not that im lazy im just so exhausted n its hard to have motivation... lowkey envy how my#friends study minimum 4 hours a day. we’re all tired n sleep deprived. even taking 30mins to eat makes me feel guilty. cant even watch 1 ep#of an anime bcos ill be thinking about the amount of work to do. and i have sm plans. i wanna be more active and have a healthier lifestyle#but i cant find it in me to wake up every 5am to go to the gym when i just wanna get as much sleep when im lucky to finish my studies today#i also dont see my bestest friends everyday anymore. some of us move to diff unis or some in diff majors. i just miss them so bad it hurts#and i miss the girl i used to be when i still had time and energy to indulge in my hobbies. i miss playing genshin and writing fics#just when i got back to writing and enjoyed it LOVED IT i had to go back to uni. i feel terribly lonely even when im always with people#im afraid ill completely lose grasp of the little things that make me happy bcos the weight of my responsibilities are heavier#im afraid ill be too focused on success again like i was when i was 17 and forget that its okay to relax too but idk#and i wanna meet more people make more friends have new experiences. i wanna feel alive again. and theres sm i wanna talk to or get to know#but im so afraid of people hurting me or disappointing me or people getting to know me only for the friendships to fail or we’ll dislike eac#h other. i wanna date and fall in love again and experience the romance my peers have. i wanna have someone to call my own person but the fe#ar of having someone only to lose them someday scares the hell outta me. im not ready for another heartbreak so i isolate myself and watch#people from afar. uni gives me sm freedom to do everything else and form my own identity but i dont wanna be Perceived. I wanna be heard and#seen n connect with people. but w my curreny state idt i can handle being vulnerable with others. it feels so lonely that the things i want#are out of my rrach but idt i can manage my time to meet new people and make new memories. i console myself by shopping a lot and going to#spas to relax yet i still find it hard to sleep. im afraid im wasting my time. im not as brave as i used to be. im not as efficient as i was#i get older and more tired and while i never questioned if studying med was the path i want i do question what will happen next#“is this all im ever going to be?” im good at what i do but day by day i lose sight of tje girl who knew how to laugh n smile. ik what makes#me happy but i rarely smile genuinely anymore. im so tired and want to sleep for a long time but i dont wanna fail. i dont wanna be NOT good#but it makes me cry when i know i can do many great things but i dont feel loved. people compliment me but dont approach me bcos they say im#intimidating or that im too quiet in class. i wish i could tell them i wanna join their parties too or i wanna meet their friends n hangout#but what if it doesnt work out? what if i wasted my time getting to know someone id eventually regret? what if im the disappointing one?#the days are getting shorter but it always feels like a long day. im ashamed to admit i want someone to hold me yet refuse to have anyone
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
⁺ ⛧ ﹒ jurgen leitner ? — ˚ 🕯️ ⌢
“ stupid idiot motherfucking jurgen leitner god damn fool book collecting , dust eating , rat old bastard , shithead , idiot , avatar of the whore - ”
><﹐six , sixxol , sol , uc , cryptid , loop﹐🦇
🕯️﹐any / all + 17 + aroaceapl + abro ﹐★
﹑likes - tma , homestuck , lego monkie kid , persona series , drawing , figure skating , fanfiction﹒⟡﹒⤿
⛧ ﹔🥀﹒dislikes - bigots , wasps , needles﹐ıllı
!About you/info - pls save me from the self - inflicted suffering that is called “ drawing my characters reference sheet “﹒🪦
” - biggest clown in the circus , laughed out of town , cowboy motherfucking jurgen leitner ”
#intro post#tags are stupid#stop pinning me when i talk about jurgen leitner i hate him so much why does he have so many fucked up books ?#why did he decide to fuck around and find out just to set them loose#is he dead is he a bastard man has such a visceral affect on me not even in the room never seen this mans face and i know he has the worlds#shittiest beard get away from me#if i wanted to get into heaven and god said jurgen leitners waiting inside i would piss on gods feet for the sole purpose of getting sent#back down#if i have to deal with jurgen leitner speaking one word in person on voice in podcast not only will i close the tab i will delete my#bookmark out of spite and have to rewatch the entire series again for the purpose of being able to skip all the times when he is mentioned#or alive#i dont even know why i hate him so much. he collects books but i am just mad because i am angy#he better have some fucked up backstory to explain this if hes just some rich shithead whos a fan of creepypasta and wanted the irl version#ill go ham#better have had a book make him kill a man because if he didnt im going to make him#paypal dot com slash i fucking hate jurgen leitner#episodes not even about him. vaguely mentioned what is supposed to maybe be in his library and i fuckibg lost it#where the fuck is jurgen leinter if hes still alive im going to so deeply wish he wasnt#crusty old man#ill punch leitner and his sad frail old man twig bones will simply flake apart under my epic huge meat fist and he will disintegrate until#all thats left is one final book he kept on him simply titled Now You Fucked Up in ancient yiddish#im not breathing im hyperventilating at this point#i hope theres a date given for when jurgen died or will die so i can make it a reminder on my phone#every day once a year i will see it and do anything but pay respects to the man who had so many fucked up if true books#holy fuck i just hand typed the entire leitner rant /srs#thank you for coming to my ted talk
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
i need to see more terusai truthers liek..e..theure so horrible and dranatic. theyre both such utter LOSERS around eachother. they make eachother worse (in the being a total freakshow loser way). they both think that they arent the loser in the relationship but they hoth are. they both are.
I need More Terusai Fans LPPLELESSEEEE THEY ARE SO REAL THEYREBITH SO CRINGEFAIL LOSERGIRLS PLEASE
Someone discuss teursaiwith me icoild go on for days
#twt oomf and i talked a little bit about them the other day#youd think that the perfect girl and the guy who wants an uneventful life would. like. have normal dates rigjt?#nonono#thats where youre wrong#kokomi is like#{sigh... it would be nice if kusuo and i went to france for the weekend}#and being the loser he is kusuo quote unquote buys plane tickets#he totally found a way to use his powers to get her to france#but somehow instead of enjoying it they end up like. working at a zoo or some shit.#and kusuos like#[this is such a bother. why would kokomi want to go here. i just wanted an uneventful weekend.]#and kokomi is like#{hehe kusuo must be having such a good time! ill admit i was a little surprised by our new job but im the perfect pretty girl so of course#im good with animals!}#and they both think that the other one is the reason theyre in that situation#sorry to break it to you ladies but youre both at fault.#kokomi dragged kusuo to the zoo and the animals took a liking to her#but kusuo didnt want them to stand out more than they already would (due to kokomi being there)#so he was like#[please leave us alone we just work here]#and a manager happened to be passing by and took that as a job request and told them theyre hired#(because kokomi is so beautiful that he didnt feel the need to interview them)#five thinks too much#saiki k#saiki no psi nan#kusuo saiki#saiki kusuo#disastrous life of saiki k#saiki#kusuo
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
i need to explode. Vent post
RAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHHH. FUCK. I MISS HIM SO MUCH.
I know and I fucking knew I wasn't going to find him, but my fucking God
How the fuck am I supposed to live like this
"Oh so I have a book character based off of an actual entity who haunted my brain for a little while in the form of alter possession because I had splits at one point and at any mention of him I go literally fucking shitballs insane and will do anything to see him again" like what the fuck is wrong with me /lh
I know I sound insane but that's. Insaner than shit.
Like wow I feel actually awful and freakish some days. I sometimes wonder if this is actually here or if it's just all in my head and some huge fucking coincidence. It seems like every time I get closer to figuring something out about him or anyone and anything associated with him, it's like I take 4 steps back.
And it's. Heartbreaking. I don't know how else certain things could even have possibly happened without his existence, but also am I somehow just making up all of this shit. Am I going to spend the rest of my life chasing after every redheaded transgender man I see only for my brain and my heart to be left. Empty. Because it's not him.
nobody's ever going to be him, and I doubt anyone would ever want to.
There's just a level of feeling abandoned that's never going to heal.
The only thing that helps is writing my books.
Seeing people connect to them. Seeing people connect to, and emulate, him.
That makes me feel less crazy. It makes me feel like maybe if it is all in my head and if nothing is actually real at least it was kind of worth it.
To quote bojack horseman, which i probably should not have watched:
"That means that all the damage I got isn't 'good damage'. It's just damage. I have gotten nothing out of it and all those years I was miserable was for nothing."
This is what's. Just circling my brain. If he's not real then yeah I kept myself alive but why did I love. What was the point of it all. There are other people who love me and it's wonderful but sometimes I miss his smile and as fucked as it is I wish that I'd run into someone who's even slightly like him.
Just so that i can stare at them and. Like. Remember.
Redheaded long haired trans men it's your time to shine im summoning you from across tumblr, come tell me you love me
Bonus points if you're folklore obsessed, dress like a flamboyant dance student, like heels and bartend /j obviously
But like. I can't explain it. It's devastating i miss my brother man 👍
Thanks tumblr for listening to my tedtalk
#This arises because I spent all fucking day trying to find his stupid ass and all he did was send me on a date like a BITCH /lh#But seriously like I could cry ngl I miss him so much 👍#I make fun of him because if I don't I'm gonna get mad because of the fact that I know ill likely never see anyone like him again.#Life is worth it anyways but there's just constantly gonna be a hole where my heart is and occasionally the wound that's mostly healed over#Just flares up and rips open again#And then I have to cry about the fact that he just isn't and likely won't ever be here again.#But I don't have time to do that I've got a dinner to get to. /lh#Also if you've got red long wavy hair and you're trans and you have little freckles and a crooked smile and a pointy chin#And a penchant for mischief#I love you#You're not him but I appreciate your existence#Because somewhere out there you're living your own existence#But if we ever crossed paths however briefly#You still made my life a happier one#Being trans is hard enough on it's own id fucking know /lh#okay ill actually shut up now. But like. You get it#castalk#system stuff#did system#spirituality#demonology#angelology#dissociative identity disorder#dissociative system#vent post#dead relatives#Idk how to tag this#'Dead spiritual possessed found family' or smth#Where is my niche support group
2 notes
·
View notes