#once upon a time review

[stahlop]

Once Upon a Time 4x06 "Family Business" Review

We learn a little more about the Snow Queen’s plans and about her past with Emma. And apparently Belle and Anna knew each other but Belle has kept it a secret from Elsa because she’s ashamed that she wanted her memories more than saving a girl she’d just met. So apparently shame is a big deterrent in not helping save Anna this time too. 

Summary: The Snow Queen leads our heroes on a chase so they can see that she actually cared for Emma at one point. In the past, Belle can’t remember how her mother died in an Ogre attack, so she goes to Arendelle to visit the Rock Trolls and meets Princess Anna who is looking for information on her Aunt Ingrid.

Opening: Ice Cream Truck

New Characters:

Belle’s Mother (Colette): First off, I really thought Belle’s mother would get more air time in this episode, considering she’s played by Frances O’Connor (known for Mansfield Park, AI, The Importance of Being Earnest), but alas, she’s killed off pretty quickly. We do see where Belle gets her love of reading from, as they both try to get priceless books out of the library before the Ogre attacks them. They end up hiding under a table, and I’m confused about how he finds them. Does he hear them, because it was established that Ogres were blind back in Lady of the Lake. However he figured out where they were, Colette does not end up making it through the attack.

Character Observations:

Belle: In the past, Belle and her mother are attacked in their library by an Ogre. I get that there are priceless books in there (or in Belle’s case, the book that she remembers her mother first reading to her), but Ogres are attacking. You can come back for the books once they leave! Belle and her mother get trapped under a table and the last thing Belle remembers is the Ogre lifting the table off them and yelling in their faces. Belle awakens to find her mother is dead and she can’t remember how she died (I’m guessing an Ogre killed her). Belle is insistent in trying to recover her memories, but her father doesn’t think that’s a good idea. She tells him about magical beings who can restore memories, but he brings up the whole ‘All magic comes with a price’ line and tells her she is not to leave. Belle makes up her mind to go to Arendelle anyway, where she meets Anna at Oaken’s. Anna also happens to be going to see the Rock Trolls, so they decide to go together. They discuss the fact that they both lost their mothers, and when Anna slips trying to get up the mountain, Belle discovers the hat box (that she stole from Rumple in The Apprentice). Anna won’t give much away to Belle about the evil wizard she stole it from, just tells her she hopes she never meets him. Well, Anna, maybe if you’d given Belle a hint, she wouldn’t be married to him now! Somehow, despite the fact that they could barely make it up the first rock, they get to the top to the Rock Trolls. Grand Pabbie pulls the memory from Belle’s consciousness and puts it in a stone which he tells her to brew in tea at the place where she lost her memory (nice plot point so she can’t brew it right away), and when she drinks the tea she’ll remember what happened to her mother. On the way back down the mountain they get caught up in a storm. Anna is convinced it’s her Aunt Ingrid. When Belle asks what she’s going to do about it, Anna pulls out the hat box again and says she’s going to take her aunt’s magic. And that’s when a big gust of wind comes, knocking the memory stone out of Belle’s hand, and knocking Anna off the trail so she’s hanging off the edge of the mountain. Belle tries to go for the stone first, but it’s knocked off the edge and shatters. Then she tries to get Anna, but Anna falls. Belle witnesses the Snow Queen poof Anna away. Belle returns home and tells her father she didn’t find what she was looking for and her trip was a huge mistake. Maurice finally tells Belle what happened. That her mother stood in the path of the Ogre while the guards pulled Belle to safety, and her mother was killed before the guards could get back. Maurice tells her the war isn’t going well, and Belle suggests calling upon a powerful wizard she read about (not putting together that this might be the same wizard Anna was warning her about). Maurice knows who she is talking about and doesn’t want to call him, but Belle thinks it’s their only choice so they can win the war and so she can be a hero like her mother.

Meanwhile, in Storybrooke, Belle is keeping a secret that she knew Anna back in their realm. Elsa wants to research Arendelle in the library with Belle, which is making her very uncomfortable. Elsa starts having a crisis of faith about finding Anna, but Belle tells her she will find Anna, but she looks very guilty about the whole thing. Belle decides the best thing to do is go to the Snow Queen’s hideout, and ‘commands’ Rumple to take her to her lair using the dagger. When they get there, Rumple tells Belle that the Snow Queen isn’t there, but she’s okay with that. She’s looking for the hat to strip someone of their powers! Too bad she doesn’t know Rumple hid it away at the shop, would’ve saved her a trip. Rumple wonders why Belle is helping a stranger. She gives him the excuse that a hero always helps people. She makes Rumple keep watch while she goes inside to look for the hat box. Instead, she hears someone calling for her from behind a covered mirror. When she takes the sheet off, it’s her reflection, but it tells her things she doesn’t want to hear. Basically, all her insecurities, like that Rumple doesn’t really trust her and he didn’t give her the real dagger (listen to the mirror, Belle). Rumple comes in, warning Bell they have to leave since the Snow Queen is coming. She lashes out and cuts him with the dagger before he poofs them back to the shop. Belle starts to believe what mirror Belle said about the dagger, since she had commanded Rumple to stay outside. He gets around that by saying she said to keep watch, and since the Snow Queen was coming back, he was allowed to go in and get her. Belle breaks down when she sees she has cut him and tells him all the awful things the mirror told her. Rumple assures her none of it is true. Belle confesses that Anna is missing because of her and feels guilty for using the dagger on Rumple. She doesn’t think she’s worthy of his love. Oh, lord, if only Belle knew how it’s Rumple who isn’t worthy of her love with all of his lies, manipulation, and deceit. She then spreads on the guilt even thicker by apologizing for keeping this secret, since she knows Rumple would never keep a secret from her. UGH! Belle finally confesses to Elsa about knowing Anna and how the Snow Queen captured her. Belle tells Emma, Elsa, and Killian about the mirror. Rumple has told her that it will be used for the Spell of Shattered Sight, turning the whole town on one another.

Emma: She shows everyone the video of the Snow Queen as her foster mother. Henry suggests looking for her ice cream truck to either find her or find clues. They end up finding it out by the Merry Men’s camp. Robin wants to talk to Regina, but she rebuffs him. Emma tells her she could have been nicer, but Regina tells her to stay out of it and is upset she has to deal with her and Killian making eyes at each other. Emma protests this, but then Killian definitely makes eyes at her. Once inside the truck, neither Regina nor Killian notice the lock on the freezer (how did these two last so long as villains when they don’t even notice details?). Killian uses his hook to break the lock and they find a file on Emma inside, starting from the article on how she was found on the side of the road. Emma looks through the file and discovers she stayed with the Snow Queen for six months, the longest she’d ever stayed anywhere. Killian asks if she’s okay, but she just tells him it was a long time ago, prompting a conversation about the fact that Killian was once a child about 200 years ago. Emma realizes that the Snow Queen has kept old art projects and essays and a card Emma wrote to her, and that someone doesn’t do that unless they care about you. They also discover a scroll with Arendelle writing on it. Back at the sheriff’s station, Elsa has discovered that the Snow Queen is her aunt. She and Emma look at the family tree and discover another sister that Killian thinks looks just like Emma (I really don’t see that except for the fact that she is blonde). Elsa sees the scroll and translates it. It basically says that Emma is the Savior and will become Ingrid’s (the Snow Queen) sister. Belle comes in letting them know about the mirror and the Shattered Sight spell, and Emma and Elsa figure out that they’ll be the only two left that aren’t affected so the Snow Queen can have her family.

Ingrid/The Snow Queen: Anna is introduced to Ingrid who let’s Anna know that the reason she doesn’t know her is because she was put in an urn by people who didn’t understand her. She shows Anna that she also has the same powers as Elsa and that it runs in the family. We don’t see Ingrid again until Anna is on her way back from the Rock Trolls. Ingrid creates a storm that results in Anna falling off a mountain. Ingrid steals the hat box from Anna before poofing them back to the castle. Ingrid has Anna locked in a cell in the dungeons of the castle. She accuses Anna of wanting to strip Elsa of her powers with the hat. Anna claims she wasn’t going to use it on Elsa, but that their parents were. Anna then reveals that the Rock Trolls told her she had another sister and Ingrid gets very angry. Anna asks what Ingrid wants. Ingrid says she wanted a family that would embrace her for who she was, but she doesn’t think Anna can be part of that family since she has nothing in common with her and Elsa. She will have to find someone else to take Anna’s place.

Rumple seeks out the Snow Queen and lets her know Emma is on to her. The Snow Queen tells him that Emma didn’t discover anything she didn’t want her to discover. She goes head to head with Rumple which is pretty fantastic. He doesn’t scare her like he does most others. She tells him to stay out of her way, Later, after Belle has glimpsed the mirror, Rumple comes back to confront the Snow Queen about it. They posture and threaten each other again: Rumple telling her she better now hurt anyone he loves with her plans and the Snow Queen claiming she can’t make any guarantees. Rumple shows her that he has the hat and the Snow Queen shows fear for the first time.

Anna: She comes back from Misthaven and lies to Elsa about what she’s found out. She notices there are no flurries or any of Elsa’s normal icy behaviors happening. Elsa excitedly introduces Anna to their Aunt Ingrid and Anna immediately goes into disbelieving mode. She immediately goes to Kristoff and tells him that she doesn’t trust Ingrid. She claims to be a good judge of character, but Kristoff calls her out on that as she almost married Hans after 10 minutes. Anna doesn’t understand why there isn’t any record of Ingrid anywhere, so she wants to visit the Rock Trolls to find out about her. She also tells Kristoff that she didn’t tell Elsa what she found out on her trip. Unfortunately, Ingrid has been listening to their conversation. Anna runs into Belle at Oaken’s and since they are going to the same place, invites her to come with her to visit the Rock Trolls. Anna asks Grand Pabbie about Ingrid and he tells her that her mother actually had two sisters, and they were quite close. But then one day Ingrid and their other sister, Helga, vanished, so the royal family asked the Rock Trolls to make everyone forget them. This makes Anna think Ingrid is a liar because she didn’t tell them about this (um, wasn’t she trapped in an urn until recently), and needs to get back to the castle fast. Ingrid causes a storm and imprisons Anna, telling her she can’t be part of their family because she is the outsider.

Questions:

Why are they wondering how the Snow Queen got to our world? My first thought would be a magic bean since we’ve seen them several times at this point. I know they were supposed to be gone, but that obviously wasn’t true.

What is up with Belle’s traveling outfit? It’s a short skirt that has that caveman-like cut and knee-high stockings! And it’s white! Plus she’s in full make up. 

Can someone please explain why Emma was moved around in foster care so much that six months was the longest she was anywhere? Isn’t the point of foster care to find a family to take them in so their life isn’t disrupted so much? No wonder Emma is the way she is if she was moved from family to family so much she couldn’t ever form any bonds.

Once again, what is up with Belle’s Storybrooke outfit? She’s going to infiltrate the Snow Queen’s lair in a short skirt and knee high boots (I mean, they are fur lined, but still)?

Ingrid told Anna she’d been trapped in an urn, so why would Anna think she knew anything about her family erasing everyone’s memories?

Who’s voice is coming from the mirror before Belle takes the cover off. It’s not speaking in Belle’s normal accent.

So, did Colette and Belle somehow get up when the Ogre pulled the table off of them? Maurice says her mother stood up to the Ogre, but they’d been lying under a table. 

Why was Belle so worried about the Ogres reaching the road? They’d already been to the castle.

Where did this prophecy come from? Most prophecies aren’t so literal.

Observations:

The first book Belle’s mother ever read to her was called Her Handsome Hero.

Belle is wearing her blue movie dress. We saw her wear this in Rumple’s castle in Skin Deep. I had assumed that it had been something Rumple had given her since she didn’t bring anything with her, but maybe Rumple magicked her belongings to the castle at some point.

If this were real life, Anna would be so dead, or at least have multiple broken bones after falling off the mountain.

Rumple looks into the Snow Queen’s mirror and nothing happens.

The Snow Queen’s plan to use a mirror for the Spell of Shattered Sight comes directly from the Hans Christian Anderson story The Snow Queen. Although it is not her mirror that shatters, but the devil’s mirror. Read the tale here.

The false eyelashes on Belle are over the top this episode.

Timeline Issues:

Emma says she’s 13, maybe 14 in the video, but it’s supposed to be 1998, and in the fall. Emma was born in 1983, so that would make her 15, maybe 14 if it’s still the beginning of October.

If Anna met Belle before Belle met Rumple, then how old must she be now? Belle lived with Rumple, probably for at least a year (despite the short time we saw in Skin Deep and Lacey), and then she went on the adventure with Mulan to find the Yaoguai in The Outsider, and then she was captured by the Evil Queen and imprisoned for about 2 ½ years according to the hash marks in her cell in that we saw in Queen of Hearts. We know Elsa was trapped in the urn (although we don’t know how), but it had to have happened before Snow and Charming met, as it came through the time portal with Emma and Killian during There’s No Place Like Home, and as we saw, Belle was still Rumplestiltskin’s maid at this time. Assuming Arendelle wasn’t part of the curse (which, it shouldn’t be since it wasn’t part of the Enchanted Forest), at least 35 years must have passed from what we just saw.

So the Snow Queen apparently cared about Emma, but what happened for Emma to leave and the Snow Queen make her forget? How did she get to our land if not by my theory of a magic bean? The Snow Queen is planning to tear the town apart just so she can get Emma and Elsa to become her sisters, and Rumple is being a conniving ass as usual.

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@searchingwardrobes @thisonesatellite @justbecauseyoubelievesomething @laschatzi @wistfulcynic​ @mariakov81 @lfh1226-linda

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[thegrantwater]

new fic alert!!! new fic alert!!!

finally posting something after almost another year long hiatus from writing. i got a little more in depth about where i've been and what it's been like to write this in the end notes of the fic, so if you're curious go there, but i'll definitely be posting about it on here soon. so in the meantime....

we fill the gaps (you and me make three) chapter 1 is posted on my ao3! i've been dropping little hints about it for months, and my story for last years sqsn was the main driving point behind this fic (and yes the title for both fics comes from the same song, in my mind strange birds is a predecessor or sort of outline to this). the intro of strange birds was actually ripped straight from the draft for this, because i started rewriting season 1 almost two years ago and at the time had written some pre-henry-curse regina analysis to tie into it. this first chapter covers the events of s1e1 to about s1e19, and the rest of s1 up to the curse breaking will be chapter 2. consider its length both a treat and a warning that this is going to take a while.

love you guys <3

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Michael After Midnight: The Films of Quentin Tarantino

There are few directors out there as ridiculously praised and extremely controversial as Quentin Tarantino. He’s done nothing his whole career but release films that garner critical acclaim and massive fanbases due to the stellar acting and writing within his films, but at the same time he’s been relentlessly criticized for his excessive use of racial slurs, his excessive homages to the point of plagiarism, and his habit of inserting his fetishes into every single one of his movies. What fetishes do I mean? Let’s just say his films have a lot of sole, and it would be no easy feet to go toe-to-toe with how in your face he is about what he likes.

While the man does have his problems (don’t get me started, I’m here to review movies, not gossip) and his style certainly isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, I’ve found myself enjoying his work a lot ever since I was a teenager, and his films are what pushed me into checking out a lot of more obscure films in the exploitation genre; in particular, I’m a pretty big fan of blaxploitation thanks to Tarantino’s work, and I doubt I would’ve ever checked it out if not for his constant homages. I can’t really hate a guy who helped make me aware of Pam Grier, can I?

What’s most impressive is that out of his ten films there’s not one I would say is genuinely “bad.” Sure, there’s at least one I think is a boring, middling affair, and there are a couple of heavily flawed but still solid films, but there isn’t a single awful movie in his filmography. That’s honestly pretty impressive, especially considering the sort of weird throwback films he makes. After finally sitting down and watching Once Upon a Time in Hollywood recently, I decided it was finally time to bite the bullet and do what was a long time coming on this blog: Review Tarantino’s movies. And then I just decided, hey, why not review them all at once, as an homage to Schafrillas Productions and his director rankings? Oho, see, I can homage things too!

To be clear here, I’m only reviewing the films Quentined and Tarantined by the man himself; the “Tarantinoverse” is a bit more expansive than his own filmography, as True Romance (which he wrote) is canon and Machete, Machete Kills, From Dusk Til Dawn, Hobo with a Shotgun, Planet Terror, Thanksgiving, and the Spy Kids movies are all part of the “show within a show” side of his world, but those are all topics for another time. Right now, it’s all Tarantino baby! Now let’s get on to the actual ranking, and pray that I don’t put a foot in my mouth with these opinions.

10. Once Upon a Time... in Hollywood

I feel pretty safe in calling this Tarantino’s worst film. It’s not necessarily awful or anything, it has good qualities to it, but it takes every problem Tarantino’s style has and cranks it up to 11.

The film is long and dialogue-heavy, with lots of that classic Tarantino writing, but while individual scenes are good such as when Leonardo DiCaprio’s character is filming a scene with a little girl or Brad Pitt’s character goes to the ranch the Manson Family are holed up at they never really feel like they congeal into a cohesive narrative, instead feeling more like a long string of vignettes. This is especially bad in regards to Margot Robbie’s Sharon Tate, whose numerous scenes really add nothing to the movie but constant looming reminders that Helter Skelter is going to happen and lots of shots of Robbie’s feet. The excessively padded runtime is so bad that when you finally get to the part where the tables are turned on the Manson Family, a historical twist that should feel fun and cathartic, it comes off as too little, too late instead.

It’s really a shame the film is so meandering, because in almost every other aspect it really shines. Every actor is giving it their all; Pitt and DiCaprio are absolutely fantastic, Robbie brings charm even to her filler role, and every single bit part actor is fully committed and leaves a mark. Standouts include Dakota Fanning as the de facto head honcho of the Family when Manson is out and Mike Moh as Bruce Lee in a scene that is at once deeply disrespectful to one of history’s greatest action stars and also very funny. This is a film you can tell everyone involved gave a shit about.

But for me, it’s not enough for me to really love the film. I like a lot about the movie for sure, but I just hate how nothing ever really comes together in a satisfying way. Maybe if a bit of the fat was trimmed I would have a higher opinion of the movie, but as it is three hours of vignettes (even well-acted ones) is truly excessive. It’s mid at worst, but for Tarantino that’s still pretty shocking when everything else he’s done is above average at worst.

9. Death Proof

This is a truly underrated film, but frankly, it’s easy to see why it is that way. This half of the double feature that was Grindhouse is a throwback to films that were actually two movies spliced together, and it has all the issues that entails. The first half of the film is a more grounded, dialogue-heavy buildup to a terrifying conclusion, while the second half is a wild and crazy action and stunt showcase, and the two halves feel at odds with each other…which is by design, but still.

This might be a hot take, but I find the slow burning first half to be the superior part of the film. As much as I love Tarantino’s insane action films, Kurt Russell’s portrayal of the sinister Stuntman Mike is just just utterly gripping; he is easily one of the best villains in Tarantino’s filmography. The whole first half establishes him really well, building up the anxiety until he finally gets to show the girl he leaves with just how well he death proofed his car. He’s just so damn cool.

And then comes the second half where he’s reduced to a bit of a chump. And this probably wouldn’t be nearly as bad if the protagonists up against him were compelling, but they’re not. They’re a bunch of girls who are boring at best and relentlessly unpleasant at worst; the fact they leave behind one of their friends to an uncertain (but likely unpleasant) fate at the hands of a creepy redneck is especially appalling. Beatrix Kiddo they ain’t.

This is a wildly uneven film, so I can see why it didn’t find its audience right away, but I think these days it had garnered a minor cult following. If you can handle the flawed second half, this is still a really good movie with a captivating villain performance that more than makes up for its shortcomings, but I definitely can’t justify putting it any higher on this list.

8. Inglourious Basterds

Oh, this might be a controversial one. This movie is the same sort of beast as OUATIH, which is why I have it so low, but with one crucial difference: It does everything better. Yes, this movie is long and a bit meandering, but it always feels like it’s moving towards a final goal. Yes, it ends with a history-altering plot twist, but this one might be the most cathartic one of all time. And yes, there’s gratuitous feet shots, but at least they’re in plot-relevant scenes.

Of course, the best thing about the movie is the villain, Hans Landa. Christoph Waltz’s big American breakout is one of the most compelling villains of the 2010s, a charismatic, cunning, self-serving Nazi bastard who you really want to see get what’s coming to him. I might be inclined to call him the best Tarantino villain of all time.

I think what weirdly brings the film down is the titular Basterds themselves, and not because they ultimately feel superfluous to the plot; it’s the same sort of thing as Raiders of the Lost Ark, them being absent wouldn’t have changed much but we also wouldn’t have much of an exciting adventure. My issue is that Brad Pitt aside they are just not interesting or compelling at all. You really need to work hard to sell attempted filmmaker Eli Roth as the ultimate Jewish badass, and the film doesn’t really deliver. If only Adam Sandler took the role as was the original vision; we really were robbed. It’s all the worse because it cuts away from the actual compelling plot with Shosanna for these schmucks.

To be clear, I don’t think this is a bad film by any stretch of the imagination, but I find it falls short of the hype around it. I’ve seen it described as movie with a lot of great scenes that never really comes together to be a great movie, and I mostly agree with that assessment; there’s so much to love here, but also so much I don’t care about. It’s definitely worth watching but it’s also where you can see the seeds for the problems with OUATIH planted.

7. The Hateful Eight

This isn’t a Tarantino film held in a particularly high regard; it’s not exactly hated, but it’s not what anyone would call their favorite either. Its contentious nature boils down to something apparent right in the title: Every character in this movie is a fucking asshole. It can be genuinely hard to get invested in these people when they’re a big collection of liars, killers, sadists, criminals, racists, and rapists.

Now, if you can stomach these nasty characters, what you’re left with is “John Carpenter’s The Thing… but a Western!” And I have to admit as a huge fan of The Thing, this is a very solid reimagining of the concept in a grounded setting. I do wish there was any character to root for here, but watching a group of people slowly tearing each other apart in a claustrophobic, isolated setting is still fun to watch. I don’t think it’s nearly as good or insightful as Carpenter’s movie, but very few movies are.

This is definitely a movie I can see people hating more than the previous two films, but I feel like this movie is more consistent than Basterds or Death Proof. Those movies have higher highs, but this movie never hits the lows they do, and even if his character is a massive asshole Samuel L. Jackson is always great to see in a Tarantino flick. Plus that brief appearance from Channing Tatum is great, especially with how it ends. This is a very solid film, but “very solid” is about as high as the praise I’ll give it will get.

6. Reservoir Dogs

Tarantino’s directorial debut, and boy is that readily apparent. It does a good job at establishing hallmarks of his style, like the sorts of conversations his characters have, their love of racial slurs, non-linear storytelling, and his trend of casting himself as a douchey minor character. It does everything fairly well, and I’d go as far as to call it one of the best directorial debuts ever… and that’s about it, really.

Like this is a very good film with strong performances—Michael Madsen and Steve Buscemi being the standouts—but it definitely feels less refined than his later works with the same style. His sophomore film just completely blows this one out of the water, to the point it’s hard to muster up the interest to revisit this as opposed to watching Pulp Fiction for the hundredth time. It’s not that this film is bad; it’s just that Tarantino’s later films do what this one does better.

It’s definitely a good film, maybe even great, but there’s clear room to improve. Hell, there wasn’t a single shot of a woman’s feet in the whole movie! Tarantino was slacking.

5. Kill Bill: Vol. 2

Now we’re in to the really great movies. And yes, while it doesn’t keep up the energy of the first film, I would definitely call this a great movie.

Where the first volume was driven by action, this one is more driven by talking, and thankfully the characters are saying a lot of interesting things here (the standout being Bill’s media illiteracy in regards to Superman, which reveals a lot about his character). There’s also the reveal of Beatrix Kiddo’s name as well as her backstory, and there are some standout moments like Beatrix escaping from being buried alive and the tense final conversation with Bill. Overall, the film does a fantastic job at fleshing the story out and expanding our understanding of the characters.

Like I said, though, it just doesn’t keep up the energy of the first film. Budd is great and serves as a more psychological opponent, burying Beatrix alive as a way to test if she has the resolve to finish her quest for revenge, but both Elle and Bill himself are dealt with in a rather anti-climactic manner. It says a lot that O-Ren, one of Bill’s former lackeys, put up a grander and more impressive fight than her boss did. While I do appreciate the more philosophical approach, it’s hard not to be miffed when a duology called “Kill Bill” doesn’t kill Bill in a more grandiose way befitting the character.

Obviously, I don’t think it brings the film down much, and this is still a good conclusion to the story. I just can’t help but feel it could’ve amped things up just a bit, y’know?

4. Jackie Brown

This is probably the weirdest film in Tarantino’s filmography, being an adaptation of a book that lacks a lot of his usual style and features a lot of people he didn’t work with afterwards (like Robert De Niro and Pam Grier). This has led to a lot of people praising it as one of Tarantino’s best works for being unique among his oeuvre… and also a lot of people deriding it for how different it is from his usual style.

I definitely think it’s up there with his best works, but I don’t think it’s the absolute best. It’s sort of like how I see Christopher Nolan’s Batman movies; they’re great films (well, the first two anyway) but I can’t in good conscience hold them up as the best Batman media because they ultimately lack a lot of what makes me love Batman as a character. And this film lacks a lot of what makes me love a Tarantino movie; it’s a fantastic, realistic crime drama, but that’s not really what I’m watching Tarantino for, you know?

Still, its placement on this list should tell you I still see this as a must-watch. Starring Grier alone makes it worth checking out, and it definitely showcases Tarantino has far more range as a filmmaker than you’d expect.

3. Django Unchained

Right from the opening song, you can tell this is going to be an epic movie. Tarantino truly nailed the Western on his first go around, adding his own spin to the genre and making a truly stellar film. However, it’s not without a few issues.

The main cast is fantastic. We have Christoph Waltz as a noble and heroic abolitionist, an atypical role he pulls off flawlessly; Samuel L. Jackson as a sinister house slave who is all about licking the boot that treads on him; and of course Leonardo DiCaprio as a hammy, egotistical slave owner, a stellar villain role that should have nabbed him an Oscar. Even minor roles are great, with Don Johnson appearing as a plantation owner early on and Jonah Hill of all people popping up as a proto-Klansman.

You might notice I didn’t mention Jamie Foxx as the titular Django. That’s because, unfortunately, he’s a bit of an issue with the film. It’s not Foxx’s performance; he makes Django cool and likable, and his awesome trademark Tarantino roaring rampage of revenge in the third act sells him as a truly badass character. No, the issue is the narrative seems to seriously sideline him in favor of Waltz’s character, to the point for large swaths of the film he feels a bit like a side character in his own story. I don’t find it to be a huge issue, but it can be frustrating, especially since this is a very long movie and a few scenes drag on a bit longer than necessary. You really couldn’t give the title character a bit more to do until the last half hour, Quentin?

Still, I don’t think its issues hold it back all that much. This is an incredibly fantastic film whose highs easily overshadow its frustrating lows. Frankly, if any Tarantino movie deserves a sequel, it would be this one; I think Django has a lot of interesting stories in him, and a film where he actually gets to be the central character the whole time would be great.

2. Kill Bill: Vol. 1

This right here is pretty damn close to being my absolute favorite Tarantino film. Where something like OUATIH is all of Tarantino’s flaws compounded into one film, this is all of his strengths together in one film. Fantastically violent action, stellar casting with not a single weak performance, an awesome soundtrack, tons of great homages to the works that inspired it, non-linear storytelling used effectively, and more style in a single frame than some movies have in their entire runtime.

Frankly, I don’t have a lot of issues with the movie, though I kind of don’t like how all the action is front loaded while all the character insight and dialogue gets shoved into the second part. It’s nothing that makes me think less of either film, but I think maybe sprinkling more insight into who the Bride is in this movie and putting some more action in the second part would keep the sequel from feeling a bit anti-climactic. I also wish we got more of Vernita Green, the first assassin we see dispatched onscreen and the one who gets the least characterization; with a third film increasingly unlikely at this point, meaning we won’t ever see her daughter seek her vengeance, it’s a shame we don’t get at least a little more of a look into who she is as a person like we did with Budd and especially O-Ren.

Aside from that, though? This is Tarantino at his best, and Uma Thurman’s crowning achievement as an actress, one that cements her as action royalty alongside the greats like Schwarzenegger, Stallone, and Weaver. There’s just one film Tarantino did that, objectively, is a much better film, and I’m sure as soon as you saw this ranking you knew exactly what it’d be...

1. Pulp Fiction

Of course this takes the top spot. Was there ever any doubt? This movie is everything Tarantino is about rolled into one supremely satisfying package.

The cast is nothing short of phenomenal. We have Bruce Willis in his prime, we’ve got John Travolta pulling out of a career slump, we’ve got Uma Thurman and Ving Rhames in roles that put them on the map, and we have a veritable buffet of talent in minor roles, the most memorable of which is Christopher Walken telling a child the delightful story of a pocket watch’s journey home from war. There’s not a bad performance here. But of course the real superstar is Samuel L. Jackson, who gave a career-defining performance as Jules, the baddest motherfucker around (it says so on his wallet).

The great performances wouldn’t matter much if not for the great script, though. The dialogue in this film is unreal with how good it is, with characters having very odd yet also very realistic and natural conversations. Jules and Vince discussing burgers, for instance, is one of the most memorable sequences in the film… and it’s just them driving! Some of the writing is a little contentious (did you really need to have your character say the N-word fifty times, Quentin?), but none of it is really bad.

I will say Tarantino as Jimmy is one of my few issues with the film, but also an issue I kind of like anyway. His acting is a wonky and there is genuinely no reason why he should be spouting off all these racial slurs (even in-universe, since his buddy Jules and his wife are black), but the sheer audacity of the whole thing saves it. Still, I can’t help but feel the scene hasn’t aged as gracefully as a lot of the film, and the amateur performance from Tarantino sticks out all the more because he is standing right next to two of the most talented actors ever.

Another aspect of the film I think has aged pretty poorly is the gay hillbilly rapists, but I don’t think this aspect is as cut and dry as “hey maybe the white director who has little acting training shouldn’t play the guy who says the N-word.” On the one hand, having the only queer characters in your movie being depraved rapists is not a good look, though this was par for the course for the 90s. On the other hand, the movie treats Marsellus getting raped with the same level of deadly seriousness that a woman in that position would receive in a film. That’s a pretty bold, progressive plot point, especially since men getting raped (especially male-on-male) was and still is used as a joke. And watching the movie in a day and age with tons of queer characters in media does soften the blow a bit, because these aren’t the only gay characters you’ll see in fiction anymore. I think it’s important to have discussions about these sorts of archaic portrayals of queers in film, but I don’t think this breaks the movie.

In modern times the film has gotten a reputation as a “red flag” film loved by toxic guys, and I think that’s unfair; is it the movie’s fault dudebros fail to see the movie is a refutation of crime and violence? Think about it: The only person in the film who gets an unambiguously happy ending is the one who has a spiritual awakening and abandons his criminal ways to walk the Earth. Every other major character pays in some way for their continued violent ways: Butch goes through Hell and ends up in exile, Marsellus Wallace gets raped, Mia overdoses and nearly dies, and Vince does die. Hell, there’s an entire segment where Jules and Vince are repeatedly chastised for careless violence causing a huge mess; as you may recall, Jules’ pal Jimmy was not too keen to find Phil LaMarr dead in his garage, and had some choice words to say about it. Stupid people see the blood and slurs and take it at face value, but the narrative itself tells these sorts they’re well and truly fucked because when you live by the sword, you die by the sword.

Of course, my favorite interpretation of the film is that it is espousing the belief that Beatles fans are superior to Elvis ones, as an extension of Mia’s comment in a deleted scene that you’re either an Elvis person or a Beatles person. Vince is clearly an Elvis guy, and he is presented as an unprofessional, careless buffoon who causes numerous issues and ends up dying due to his own inattentiveness; meanwhile, Jules is vaguely implied to be the proverbial “Beatles guy” (he calls the robber in the diner “Ringo”) and escapes the film unscathed. This is even funnier when you consider that one of Tarantino’s first onscreen roles was as an Elvis impersonator in Golden Girls, something that implies he might be an Elvis guy himself, which would make the film the most epic act of self-deprecation ever.

This is one of the greatest sophomore releases from a director ever, and one of the greatest films of the 90s. This film frequently finds its way to the top of “best films of all time” lists, and with good reason; it is, to this day, just that good. I think there’s a temptation to call any of his other films his magnum opus due to just how acclaimed and pervasive in pop culture this film is, but it got that way for a reason. It is a damn good crime story with all sorts of twists and turns and plenty of stuff for viewers to ruminate on and interpret as they please. Hell, I thought I liked Kill Bill more than it until I rewatched it, but boy does this just blow even that masterpiece out of the water.

If nothing else, the film is incredible for one simple reason: Tarantino managed to insert his foot fetish into the film without it feeling as needlessly gratuitous as it is in some later films! Bravo, Tarantino!

[thethirdamell]

i just saw you updated accursed ones so im catching up and i just wanted to say i love how you write sign language

Thank you! I am glad it reads well. The signs used are ASL.

[smugraccoon137]

Okay but S2 Ep17 “Welcome to Storybrooke” is so fucking funny. Just Regina playing the same day over and over again for like a week. Until she’s like “This curse fuckin succkkksss”

Someone please introduce her to some antidepressants 

And then a real ass child shows up, sits in her favorite seat and won’t move. Insults her lasagna. And shes like “What is this beast? I want one”

She straight up sabotages their car repairs. And then tries to arrest the dad for drunk driving. And then issues a high speed chase after man dad and his son.

Before letting said child run free. Traumatized and alone into the wilderness cus “oh well I’ll just get the next one”

[goawaywithjae]

This Sunday, “Past Lives” is up against films like “Barbie” and “Oppenheimer” at the Academy Awards. While I don’t think Celine Song’s extraordinary movie will win for Best Picture, I do think she has a great shot at earning an Oscar for Best Original Screenplay.

Of course, “Past Lives” is an American film set partially in South Korea and with half the dialogue in Korean.

But this got me thinking about some of my favorite Korean films (plus the superb U.S. film "Minari") that I wanted to share with you. (The anchor links will take you to each review if you don’t want to read them all. As always each film is rated on a scale of ☆ to ☆☆☆☆.)

° “Miss Granny” (수상한 그녀) ☆☆☆☆ ° “My Love, Don’t Cross That River” (님아, 그 강을 건너지 마오) ☆☆☆ ° “Once Upon a Time in High School” (말죽거리 잔혹사) ☆☆☆☆ ° “Parasite” (기생충) ☆☆☆☆ ° “Train to Busan” (부산행) ☆☆☆½ ° “The Way Home” (집으로) ☆☆☆ ° “Minari” ☆☆☆☆

[wetblanket7]

quentin tarantino is actually a marketing genius for putting uma thurman on the pulp fiction poster

[thatgeekwiththeclipons]

Happy 58th Birthday to Academy Award Nomineted actress Salma Hayek! ^__^

[thenotoriousscuttlecliff]

Featuring Ben-Hur, Hamlet, Ivan the Terrible, Lawrence of Arabia, Once Upon a Time in America, Red Cliff, and War And Peace

[criticalfilms]

Film Review: Why Millenials Didn't Like 'Once Upon a Time in Hollywood'

RATING: ★★★

As one of Tarantino’s last films before signing off for retirement, Once Upon a Time… In Hollywood should have been more well-received than it was. Trotting Quentin’s usual arrangement of cowboys, Nazis, and flamethrowers, for a 3-hour movie, it was pretty much completely devoid of a story. For instance, if you didn’t know who Sharon Tate was or the Manson Family, or about the Spahn Ranch, then this may have been the most nonsensical movie Quentin ever made. Alas, QT’s foot fetish is alive and well in this 2019 “classic,” bordering on making fun of himself and his older movies, as it tells the story of life in the 60s, Old Hollywood, and a sweet tale of friendship between characters Rick Dalton and Cliff Booth.

As others have already noted, this is a Nostalgia movie. Some would say you would have had to have lived in the 60s to really “get it,” but Quentin Tarantino has done a fantastic job of capturing the period for the ones who didn’t. From the bus stop ads to the music, sentimental shots of Cliff driving down Forest Lawn Drive, QT has captured the flavor of Los Angeles in its time. Unfortunately, apart from the scenic portrait and the odd joke here and there, this screenplay was bland and slightly boring throughout. Whatever happened to the enigmatic dialogue that Quentin used to write? You’ll have to hit pause an hour in just to stop and ask yourself, “Is anything going to happen?” And something does happen, it’s just a slow drive getting there.

One “Boomer” wrote:

“Really frustrating on Twitter reading a lot of the young people’s views on this movie. Most of them don’t get this movie because they are uninformed about history. They don’t know the background and story of the Charles Manson Family, Spahn Ranch, their connection to Sharon Tate and the location of where Sharon Tate lived which was the home of Terry Melcher prior to Sharon Tate living there. Terry Melcher was Doris Day’s son and he was a record producer who rejected Charles Manson’s music career aspirations. Charles Manson was looking for revenge and even though Melcher moved, Manson still hated the rich Hollywood elite and so he sent his family member’s there to kill everyone there anyhow. In this movie, Leo changed their target after he walked outside and confronted them while drunk and holding a blender!”

READ MORE...

[stahlop]

Once Upon a Time 4x07 "The Snow Queen" Review

We finally get the backstory of the Snow Queen, and it is quite tragic, but enough to make her turn evil? And Snow is acting completely out of character when it comes to Emma in this episode.

Summary: Ingrid isolates herself from her family because of her ice powers, despite her sisters being totally okay with it. The Snow Queen’s goading starts making Emma think her powers make her a monster.

Opening: Kite

New Characters: 

Helga: Ingrid’s middle sister and number one champion in finding out about her sister’s ice powers. She’s smart and scrappy and doesn’t fall for any bullshit. Unfortunately, because of her poor choice in men (the Duke of Weselton), she ends up as a broken ice sculpture.

Gerda: The youngest of Ingrid’s sisters. She is almost kidnapped by a man with a kite and Ingrid saves her by using her ice powers for the first time. She and Helga say they will always be by Ingrid’s side. She also has heard about Rumplestiltskin, when they are older, and brings Ingrid to him to help control her powers. She ends up putting Ingrid in the urn when she accidentally kills Helga. Gerda goes to the rock trolls after both her sisters are gone and asks Grand Pabbie to make the whole realm of Arendelle forget about Ingrid and Helga. He warns her that the truth always has a way of coming out. He also warns her that magic always comes with a price. Gerda is convinced she’s already paid it, not realizing that her daughter, Elsa will be that price.

Character Observations:

Ingrid: She discovers her ice powers when a man tries to kidnap her youngest sister as a child. For some reason, killing the guy that just tried to abduct her sister with ice powers makes her think she is a monster instead of a hero. And despite both her sisters (Helga and Gerda) being completely on her side, Ingrid is still very worried. Helga takes the ribbons from the kite they’d been following (which was the kidnappers to try and kidnap any child it seems) and uses them to make a pact that they will always be there for each other as long as they wear them.

Years later, at their father’s 70th birthday, Ingrid’s sisters are trying to convince her to come and join the party. She says she can’t come out of hiding until her affliction is dealt with, but her sisters aren’t having it. Ingrid does seem to have a good grip on her powers if she’s still living in the same room as her sisters and hanging out with them. She doesn’t seem to have any fear about hurting them. Ingrid goes out to watch the ball and sees her sisters dancing happily and snow flurries start forming around her because she is sad. Apparently, this is the impetus for her to decide to leave for good. Her sisters catch her packing and don’t accept this. Ingrid is afraid she’ll hurt someone, and I still don’t understand why. As far as this episode has shown us, with the exception of the kidnapper, Ingrid hasn’t hurt anyone. Gerda has apparently heard whispers of a man, a sorcerer, that can help them. And it’s, of course, Rumplestiltskin.

Rumple doesn’t understand why she’d want to get rid of her powers, but Ingrid is too afraid that she can’t control them. He offers her lessons instead, but she’s not biting. He sends her off with gloves to conceal her powers (the same ones Elsa uses in the movie Frozen) and a failsafe, the urn that we first saw Ingrid emerge from. His price is the kite ribbons they’ve worn since the kidnapping incident. Ingrid doesn’t understand why he’d want them, but he explains that sometimes with love, ordinary objects can become magical. Ingrid’s sisters don’t want to give them up and try to convince her that they are her failsafe, but Ingrid is desperate so they give up the ribbons.

Back in Arendelle, Ingrid is sitting happily in a gazebo just holding the gloves and urn, and dressed in the icy looking outfit we’ve seen her wearing since she was out of the urn. Considering there isn’t a ball going on at this point, it seems a bit overkill. And why she isn’t wearing the gloves is beyond me. She’s been hoping to control her powers and she’s just sitting there stroking them. Those gloves would’ve been on my hands immediately after Rumplestiltskin handed them over if I was so worried about hurting people. The Duke of Weselton comes by and starts stroking her ego and then coming onto her. She drops her gloves and can’t get them back on. The Duke starts trying to kiss her and Ingrid shoves him back with magic, but I don’t see any actual ice, so why the Duke automatically thinks she’s used magic is baffling. Ingrid begs him to keep this encounter their little secret (which just makes me think of sexual assault victims who think it was their fault), when Helga comes upon them. He tries to convince Helga that Ingrid came onto him, and Ingrid seems to think that Helga will believe him over her, which luckily, she does not. Helga dumps the Duke, who seems confused that a princess would dump a duke to defend her sister. When Helga threatens his diplomatic mission, he threatens to tell everyone about Ingrid and that Arendelle will side with him. Helga defends Ingrid, but Weselton keeps going on his tirade, making Ingrid more and more upset, so when he finally calls her a monster, she uses her powers on him. But, coward that he is, he uses Helga as a shield and she gets turned into ice, then crumbles, effectively killing her. Ingrid is devastated over what she’s done. Gerda comes by and sees Ingrid crying over a pile of ice and somehow deduces that it used to be Helga. She immediately turns on her sister, despite Ingrid trying to explain what happened. Ingrid tries to get Gerda to take her hand as they always did that to help each other, but Gerda calls her a monster making Ingrid even more upset. Ingrid still tries to convince Gerda to help her, but Gerda backs into the urn and Ingrid realizes what she is going to do. Gerda opens the urn and Ingrid gets pulled inside. Notice that the only times Ingrid really used her powers was in self-defense. As angry as Gerda was getting at her, Ingrid’s powers never manifested, which shows she always had control of her powers as long as her sister’s were by her side.

In Storybrooke, the Snow Queen has moved her magic mirror up to the clocktower. Emma, Elsa, David, and Killian all barge in and Emma uses a magical candle to put fire cuffs around the Snow Queen so they can capture her.

Emma, being the ever consummate professional, walks into the interrogation room with Elsa, who immediately begins questioning the Snow Queen about where Anna is. The Snow Queen continues to aggravate Elsa by telling her that Anna put her in the urn and she shouldn’t want to find someone like that. Elsa gets angrier while the Snow Queen is cool as a cucumber. Emma finally makes Elsa get out.

The Snow Queen mentions Emma’s superpower, which throws Emma for a loop. Emma says they’re not friends. The Snow Queen agrees, they’re family, which Emma does not agree with in the least. The Snow Queen tells Emma that she’ll realize everything she’s said about her family thinking her a monster will come true, and when it does, she’ll release the Snow Queen herself. Emma’s not buying it. She lays out that they know who she is, what she’s planning with the Spell of Shattered Sight, and that they know she wants to replace her sisters with Emma and Elsa. But Emma wants to know why she’s been following her her whole life. The Snow Queen claims she was trying to protect her and that they’re family. Emma lets her know she has a family, but the Snow Queen says family is not about blood. She and Elsa are her real family since they all have magic and no one else can understand that.

The Snow Queen continues to play on Emma’s fears by asking if she’s ever seen them wince at her powers. Emma claims they love her and her powers, but the Snow Queen says she thought that once too. While Emma has left the Snow Queen alone, we see that the cuffs did not suppress her powers, as she manages to freeze the front doors of the Sheriff’s station. The Snow Queen continues to make Emma feel like her family doesn’t care about her by saying her parents could have found another way to break the curse and that her parents are using her as the savior instead of thinking of her as their daughter. Then she brings up the fact that they had another child to replace her and that he doesn’t have powers, playing on Emma’s worst fears about how her parents feel about her. The Snow Queen claims you can’t love someone you don’t understand (so apparently she feels her sisters didn’t really love her?). The Snow Queen tells her that people fear what they don’t understand and they’ll come to think of her like a monster. This angers Emma enough to blast a hole through the side of the Sheriff’s Station. Emma’s freaking out thinking the Snow Queen did something, but the Snow Queen lets her know that it’s all Emma, before shaking off the cuffs and swirling away in a snow flurry.

The Snow Queen then goes to Rumpelstiltskin's pawn shop saying she’s ready to make a deal. She wants her ribbons back. Rumple doesn’t think she has anything to make a deal with, but she knows more about the hat than he does. She knows he wants to cleave himself from the dagger so he can leave and still have his powers. He shows her the ribbons and she is practically beside herself at seeing them again. She tells him he can go out into the world and conquer that, she just wants Storybrooke. They strike a deal that she’ll tell him how to get all the power from the hat, but we don’t get to hear it because she whispers it to him, despite no one being around.

Emma: Belle has found a spell for her to use to neutralize the Snow Queen’s powers. Elsa hopes that with it they can find out what happened to Anna. Emma wonders if Anna had powers. Elsa says she didn't, which is why she thinks the Snow Queen is so interested in Emma. Elsa says it’s hard when your family looks at you differently because of your magic, but Emma says they don’t. They try testing the candle on Elsa, but it doesn’t work. Emma has to go babysit Baby Neal, so she runs off.

Emma comes in at the end of the Mommy and Me class Mary Margaret is at. She gets a little offended when Ashley talks about being there for the first time moms. Snow is quick to say she knows she’s not a first time mom, but Emma says she kind of is because she never got to do this with Emma. She seems fine about everything but then realizes by the looks on Mary Margaret, Ashley, and Aurora’s faces, that she is making the milk in the bottle boil. She claims that she’s been working on her magic and she’s just a bit revved up. Then when she goes to take Baby Neal, Mary Margaret keeps him away from Emma. Rude much? Luckily, Emma gets a phone call about the Snow Queen’s whereabouts, so she doesn’t have to deal with Mary Margaret’s faux pas.

Emma, Elsa, David, and Killian all burst into the clock tower and Emma uses the candle to create cuffs to capture the Snow Queen. Interrogation time. The Snow Queen basically gaslights and goads Emma into thinking her family will never understand her because of her magic, and because of the incident with Mary Margaret earlier, Emma gets angry and blasts a hole in the side of the Sheriff’s Station. She’s freaking out because her magic seems to be glitching on her and she can’t get it to stop, but the Snow Queen tells her this is who she truly is before snow poofing out. Emma goes outside to assess the damage and her family, Killian, Belle, and Rumple turn up. Killian asks what the monster (meaning the Snow Queen) did to the station, but Emma quickly tells him she was the monster. She doesn’t want them coming near her since she’s having problems controlling her magic. Killian doesn’t listen and Emma sweeps her hand to push him away and causes all the lights to burst and a light pole to come crashing down. David pushes Killian out of the way and gets hurt, and Mary Margaret admonishes Emma like she did it on purpose (what the hell, Mary Margaret!). Emma looks properly chagrined and drives off in the Bug to be alone and away from everyone.

Robin and Regina: Robin comes to Regina in her vault. She’s angry because she told him to stay away. Regina reminds him that he needs True Love's Kiss to wake Marian. He knows, but his heart brought him there. Regina reminds him that Marian is his wife and him being there is torture for her. He tells her he can’t just fall back in love with Marian when Regina is here and he doesn’t know what to do. Regina plays the selfless card and tells him to think about Marian and forget about her.

Regina is torturing herself by looking through the storybook and stopping on all the pictures of the happy married couples, including Robin and Marian. She looks angry and upset, but then Henry comes in asking for help with his tie, and Regina goes from hurt to proud mama. Henry has to dress up to work in Rumple’s shop, so Regina fixes the tie right up. Henry asks her what's up because she’s going through the storybook with her ‘scary’ face on. She tells him she needs to move on from Robin Hood. She goes back on about Operation Mongoose, finding the author to get a happy ending, and Henry says he has some ideas about where to look in Rumple’s shop for clues. I absolutely adore Regina in this scene. She’s so proud of Henry and it shows.

Meanwhile, Robin is drowning his sorrows at Granny’s and doing a piss-poor job playing darts, not even able to hit the dartboard. But he manages to throw one into the wall near Will Scarlet’s head when he sees Robin and tries to leave (reminiscent of when Graham did the same thing to Emma in The Heart is a Lonely Hunter). Will and Robin have a drink and Will apologizes for the last time he was with Robin and the Merry Men. Robin scoffs about it all being about a woman and asks where she is now. Will doesn’t answer, leading Robin to the conclusion that she’s gone in some capacity. Robin starts telling the story about he and Marian met, which Will has had at least 30 times at this point, but it was she who made him the man who steals from the rich to give to the poor and he needs to remember that to save her. Will relates that Marian told him she always saw the good in Robin and you don’t give up on someone who has good in them, especially if they don’t see it themselves. Sounds like Marian and Belle subscribe to the same philosophies on love, only Robin isn’t a lying asshole like Rumple is, but I digress. Robin wonders if Will believes in this after everything, and Will tells him if you find someone to ruin your entire life for, it’s worth it. Robin contemplates this bit of advice.

Regina is back in her vault looking at a picture of when she was almost killed in The Cricket Game, when Robin enters. He tells Regina he tries to be good and live by a code, but today is not one of those days and he kisses Regina passionately! I know there’s been some debate about whether Robin is cheating on Marian, but once again, Marian was technically dead for four years and Robin moved on. Just because Emma accidentally brought her back doesn’t mean Robin’s feelings for Regina can just turn off. 

Everyone else: At Mommy and Me class, Mary Margaret is there with Baby Neal. She tries not to make Emma feel bad when Ashley talks about her being a first time mom, but she sees Emma has some issues when she accidentally uses her magic to make the milk in Baby Neal’s bottle bubble. She pulls the baby back from Emma when she goes to hold him. Luckily, David calls with news of the Snow Queen so Mary Margaret doesn’t have to explain to Emma why she’s reluctant to let her hold him.

Emma, Elsa, David, and Killian all rush in and capture the Snow Queen. While Emma is interrogating the Snow Queen, David, Elsa, and Killian examine the Snow Queen’s mirror. Belle comes with research, but warns them to stay away from the mirror as it will make you see the worst in yourself. Belle sees that it is not the same mirror she saw previously, and David and Killian realize the Snow Queen wanted to get caught. They immediately run to the station to save Emma. By the time they get there, the Snow Queen has frozen the entrance so they can’t get in.

The gang all show up to ask Rumple for help to get into the Sheriff’s Station. Rumple really doesn’t want to help, but Belle begs him and he relents. Killian questions Rumple about whether he and the Snow Queen have a history, but of course Rumple tells him it’s none of his business. When they get to the station, Emma’s magic is out of control, which causes David to get hurt. Mary Margaret’s tone says she can’t believe Emma would do this, like she meant to hurt David, and then she realizes how she said it and softens her tone. But really Mary Margaret, why would you think Emma did that on purpose? Emma runs off and Killian tries to stop her, but she’s too afraid of hurting anyone else. Later on, the gang all meet up in the loft after searching for Emma. Elsa relates that she saw the same look of fear on her family’s face as well with her powers. Mary Margaret realizes they had a major parenting fail today, and that the Snow Queen doesn’t need her mirror to turn them against each other as they’re already doing it themselves. Glad to see Mary Margaret finally got perspective by the end, but really, Mary Margaret was the only one that was fearful.

Questions:

David tells Emma that there’s a trail of snow going up the clock tower, but when we saw the Snow Queen go up there earlier, there was no snow trail. Did she make one just to get herself captured? Also, how does he know there isn’t another trail going down? Wouldn’t she just make a trail over the first trail?

Where are the magic cuffs they used on Pan and Zelena to take away their power?

How does the Snow Queen know exactly when David and crew are coming back to seal herself and Emma into the Sheriff’s Station? Also, shouldn’t the station have more than one entrance and exit?

How are the ribbons so clean when the sisters give them to Rumpelstiltskin? They’ve been wearing them for probably 10-15 years at this point and they look brand new. They don’t even have any creasing in them when they hand them to Rumpelstiltskin.

Who is watching Baby Neal? Emma was supposed to babysit, and then Mary Margaret is with David and the others after the destruction of the Sheriff’s Station.

Ingrid is wearing some very ostentatious rings in the gazebo. Why would she be wearing those if she was planning on putting the gloves on? And why didn’t she put the gloves on immediately when the Duke came by to talk to her?

How come in the Frozen movie, when Anna gets hit in the heart with ice, she gets a few days before turning into ice and Elsa’s true love crying saves her, but when Ingrid hits Helga in the heart, she turns into ice right away and Ingrid’s true love crying doesn’t save her? Is Ingrid’s magic more unstable than Elsa’s?

Observations:

Arendelle’s time period at the ball seems to be reminiscent of England’s Regency Era.

The couples Regina sees in the storybook are Snow and Charming, Thomas and Ella, and Robin and Marian.

Will’s backstory with Robin and the Merry Men is explained in the series Once Upon a Time in Wonderland. He convinces them to steal from Maleficent with his own agenda of stealing a magic looking-glass so he and his girlfriend, Anastasia, can go through it to have a new life.

Will’s timeline is very convoluted because at this time, Once Upon a Time in Wonderland had ended and Will had ended up with his true love, Anastasia (the Red Queen), but this takes place at some point in the middle of the series between when Anastasia was married to the Red King and when she and Will got back together. Hence why Will had the picture of the Red Queen from the library in The Apprentice.

Gerda looks exactly like Anna when she visits Rumplestiltskin; it's uncanny.

Emma says the Snow Queen took a year of her life, but in Family Business the papers she found said she lived with her for 6 months.

The Duke says he doesn’t take orders from a princess. Um, if you’re in her kingdom you do. He also says he’ll tell all of Arendelle about Ingrid and that they’ll side with him against her. Sounds like treason to me buddy.

It is unclear whether Gerda’s memories were also wiped of Ingrid and Helga with the Rock Trolls magic, or if she remained the one person who remembered what had happened.

Timeline Issues:

Ashley had Alexandra a few days into Emma arriving in Storybrooke, around late October or early November. We made it to at least spring by the time the curse broke, so she should have been about 5 months old. There was another few weeks when Emma and Mary Margaret were in the Enchanted Forest, so 6 months. Then a few weeks for the whole Cora returning, Emma going to NY, Neal returning, and the whole Greg/Tamara debacle, so let’s say she’s 9 months after all of that. Neverland was a little over a week, but then they all went back to the Enchanted Forest for a year, before returning. Mary Margaret was 8 months pregnant and it was probably a month before she had Neal, so Alexandra should be at least 2-years-old by now. So why does she look like she’s under a year? And also, why does she look like a boy?

And Aurora was pregnant at the beginning of season 3b when she was turned into a flying monkey and didn’t give birth until after Zelena was stripped of her powers, which was the same day Baby Neal was born, so why is Baby Neal still a newborn and Baby Phillip looks about 6 months old and the same age as Alexandra? But also, did being a flying monkey prevent Aurora from giving birth, because she was pregnant when the curse brought everyone back to the Enchanted Forest, and Snow didn’t become pregnant until at least 2-3 months later if she was close to having the baby when they came back from the curse. Baby Phillip should have been born when she was still a monkey.

The Snow Queen seems to have successfully separated Emma from her loved ones (nice mentally abusive behavior there), and is still planning on enacting the Spell of Shattered Sight. Robin and Regina were hot and heavy at the end of this episode, let’s see where that will lead in the future. I still don’t see when the Snow Queen could have gone evil. As of right now, she wasn’t evil before going into the urn, so it had to be when she met Anna and decided that she would only be surrounded by magical people. We still don’t know if she’s telling the truth about Anna putting Elsa into the urn, or why Emma ran away from Ingrid’s home when she was her foster mother.

Please leave comments and reblog! Let me know if you’d like to be tagged in future reviews.

@searchingwardrobes @thisonesatellite @justbecauseyoubelievesomething @laschatzi @wistfulcynic​ @mariakov81 @lfh1226-linda

[pricelessreviews]

[teanderthalrex]

I finished reading the egalley given to me of Children of Anguish and Anarchy, the third and final installment of the Orisha trilogy, by Tomi Adeyemi.

It's no secret that I was disappointed by book two. I thought a lot of Zélie's actions seemed out of character from who we met in Children of Blood and Bone. I also didn't like Amari's storyline but I was willing to go with it in hopes it would have some kind of redemption or doubling down or any kind of payoff in this book. That cliffhanger was not something I thought we'd have to wait this long to have not-really-resolved.

So, was all that waiting worth it? Sadly, not for me. I loved parts of the world-building in Children of Anguish and Anarchy. I did. But other aspects, which I will discuss below, left me underwhelmed. The final book gets a 3/5 (2.5/5 really but rounded up bc I love these characters and I was just happy to see them again.)

Content warnings: Obviously, the usual violence, abuse, and death but also specifically at the beginning there's a lot of this Atlantic slave trade allegory and imagery, so be ready for that.

I wanted more interpersonal stories between the characters we already had and to deal with the outcome of the civil war from book two. So much of what happened in Children of Virtue and Vengeance is brushed aside in this book to make room for a new epic tale spanning three different empires. Zélie and Amari do NOT actually talk about what Amari did in book two, Amari and Tzain don't really talk either. Zélie and Inan are the only two that still vaguely kept the tension they had in CoVaV but again, it barely has the time it needs between everything else going on. We never find out what happened to Roen, nor do we really get any true discussions about how Orisha is going to recover from the political repercussions of the civil war. At the end of the book it's treated like people forgot all the prejudices they held for decades just because the skulls tried to invade and now that the skulls were defeated, everything is great and perfect and wonderful.

Tomi Adeyemi has a strong writing style when it comes to creating compelling fight scenes or describing new locations with gorgeous and lush visuals. And because so much of this book is spent outside of Orisha, battling a new enemy, you get a lot of that. We get introduced to two new empires in this book, that of the skulls and King Baldr, vaguely based on vikings, and New Gaia, which is based on South America and Indigenous peoples (although I think they are speaking Spanish or something close to Spanish and that's the colonizer's language and that kind of bugged me but it's also true to real life current South America so idk). And we meet a LOT of new characters.

Amari finally gets to be gay, so that's a win. There's a background thing going on with her and the hierophant of New Gaia. Woo! A queer relationship made it into this book, if you squint. But honestly that's the extent of what Amari does in this book.

I truly believe we could have pared down the slave boat thing at the beginning and replaced it with Zélie and Amari really talking to each other and maybe Nehanda and Inan making amends publicly or something. Then we could have seen the healing get started and I could have at least liked this book.

I will say I did like Tzain's story. His chapters were the highlight of the entire book. He gets his hands on one of the skull's weapons, which use blood magic and essentially make warriors into dnd barbarians, rage and all. Tzain uses that weapon to help save his people but he comes to realize hate and rage aren't how he wants to fight, that it doesn't make him strong really, and he finds a new source of energy for the battles ahead. You really see him dealing with the death of his mother, which he always felt helpless and guilty about, and accepting he couldn't have saved her.

The villain of this book, King Baldr, felt a tad cartoonish to me. He had this textbook skivvy-ness about him that just reminded me of a crappy MCU villain. I don't have much to say about him. For being the primary motivator of nearly every action the main protagonists make in this book, he is devastatingly underwhelming. It sucks we really had to wait until the last ten or so pages for Zélie to get her reaper powers back. That man could've easily been taken out by book one Zélie.

Despite Children of Anguish and Anarchy disappointing me, I would still recommend the entire trilogy. The world-building is phenomenal and its a great addition to any Young Adult collection. I do think that every single book in the series feels pretty disconnected from the others, but what can I say? The first book got me attached to the characters and part of me will read anything with them in it.

[queenvreads]

REVIEW: Assistant To The Villain By Hannah Nicole Maehrer

4.5/5 ⭐⭐⭐⭐

REALLY FUN!!

Evie is her family's breadwinner. Her father is ill with an untreatable illness plaguing her village, and its up to her to take care of him and her younger sister. One day after losing her job, she has an unexpected run in with the man who they call The Villain. He offers her a job as his assistant, and she accepts.

I had a really fun time reading this one. It was actually really funny and had a great cast of characters. The blurb wasn't lying when it said "Once Upon A Time meets The Office". I loved Kingsley the frog with the crown, his signs were HILARIOUS. "HALP" I loved it. The way they just casually spoke of severed heads hanging from the ceiling added to the humor.

Evie and The Villain had the BEST banter ever. She was absolutely hilarious. "Good morning sir. Would you like me to work around this gentleman? Or is this your subtle way of telling me you'd like this body moved to a more appropriate location?" LOL genius!

The romance was a very.. very.. slow burn.. But you could feel the tension between them. I loved everything about them together. I didnt realize that this was a 3 book series, so when the story ended on a cliffhanger I was relieved. I cant wait to read the next one!!

I guess the reason this was not a complete 5 stars was the twist & The Villain's origin story. Why he became who he is.. it just fell a little flat for me. I didnt see the twist coming, and I was thought it was an interesting turn of events. 😅

All in all, YES loved it. No regrets, I cant wait for the next one.

[vasfasan]

fuck it, i'm in my season 5 era *stops going to the barber*