#once my counselor asked me if i had a dad and i told her to give me a second bc its a messy tree and she said don't worry mine is too i get

[tiredofthehumanlife]

My eight year old cousin asked me how many siblings I had I said "legally, emotionally, or like for real" she said "all of them." I said "legally speaking two, emotionally five, for real one." She said "how is it emotionally five?" So then I explained all three to her and in the process I remembered I have three other siblings I forgot about kinda so I was like "listen it's a complicated tree" and she said "oh you think your tree is bad I have two dads and one mom" and I said "are you trying to one up rn bc guess what I too have one mom and two dads" and she said "well my dad cheated on my mom" i said "girl same and guess what else" so then we gossiped for a second and like an hour later she came up to me and told me we're best friends now so daddy issues save lives

[sunniques]

— 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐝

➺ PAIRING: yoon jeonghan x female reader

➺ GENRE: stepdad au, smut

➺ SUMMARY: the story of how you get caught in your stepdad’s web of depraved desires.

➺ CW/TW: stepcest, infidelity, age gap, manipulation, dub con, drugging, toxic relationship(s), slight dd/lg themes, daddy kink, dacryphilia, breeding kink, degradation, spanking, dumbification, unprotected sex, riding, cum play, ass play, fingering, multiple rounds, overstimulation, creampies, squirting

➺ WC: 4.2k

NOTE: don’t like, don’t read. once again, i have to thank the amazing @wonustars for beta reading this for me <3

The moment your mom asked you to move back home, you knew things in her marriage were heading south. It’s not like she didn’t want you around, but even you could tell she only asked you to act as a buffer between her and her husband. Like the good daughter you always tried to be, you accept her invitation even though you know it probably won’t be the best idea in the long run.

Things are relatively normal at first. Jeonghan is a sweetheart. He always has been, even dating back to when you were a college freshman and you officially met him. You can tell he tries to keep the peace with you around. That doesn’t mean you haven’t accidentally overheard your mom and him arguing when they think you’re not around.

It’s awkward, especially because your mom seems like the bad guy in ninety percent of their fights. You wonder if seeing a marriage counselor will help their situation.

“My friend’s dad is a marriage counselor,” you casually mention to your mom when it’s only two of you one day. “I can give you the number to his office—”

You’re abruptly cut off when your mom slams her spoon down on the table. The look she has on her face is borderline murderous, and you wonder if you should’ve just kept your mouth shut.

“Did Jeonghan tell you he wants to go to counseling?” She demands, teeth gnashing together as she spits her words.

“What? No!” You exclaim wondering why she was so quick to throw the blame on your stepdad. “I just thought—”

“I can’t believe this shit,” her words are spoken through a bitter chuckle. “You know, I’m the one who told him we need to talk to someone. I can’t believe he had the audacity to put this idea in your head!”

Despite your attempt to clear up the misunderstanding your mom has, she leaves the house and doesn’t come back until the next day. You feel incredibly guilty. It’s not like you meant to make her angry, and you definitely didn’t mean for her to get angry with Jeonghan again.

Your stepdad remains incredibly sweet. He hugs you and rubs your back, assuring you that it wasn’t your fault.

“Don’t worry, little girl,” Jeonghan says with a kind smile. “Your mom and I will be fine. Just focus on school, okay? I pay a lot of money so you can be the best.”

He’s teasing you, and you’re not sure why you feel so relieved to know that he’s not angry with you.

Unfortunately for everyone, things get worse before they even have a chance to get better. Eventually, your mom no longer cares to start arguments with her husband even when you’re around.

You can’t help but feel sorry for Jeonghan because you can see how exhausted he is. That sweet smile can’t hide all the pain and defeat he feels. You wish you could do something to help, but he always pats your head affectionately and tells you to focus on school when you offer.

It’s not until you come home one night and find him alone in the trashed living room that you know things have gone too far.

“Jeonghan?” You say cautiously, walking around the broken glass littered on the floor.

It’s a mixture of a broken wine bottle and glass from a picture frame. The one that held your mother’s wedding photo. Jeonghan has his head in his hands as you tiptoe around the spilled alcohol to sit next to him. His long hair partially covers his face, but you can see the tear stains on his cheeks.

“Jeonghan,” your voice is more firm this time, but still gentle. “What happened? Where’s my mom?”

Your stepdad sniffles and looks up. For a minute, he can’t meet your eyes. Even without the eye contact, you can see how broken he is. It makes something inside you break.

“She’s okay,” he turns to you with that pretty smile of his that you love. Except it doesn’t reach his eyes like usual. “She had a little too much to drink so I laid her down in the guest room.”

You’re sure he’s talking about the one downstairs—the one she’s been sleeping in lately.

“You still didn’t answer my question.” You say, needing to know what happened.

Jeonghan whimpers, and you can’t resist the urge to hug him. He closes his eyes as more tears stream down his face. Your stepdad gently buries his face in your neck as you press your body against him, not caring that you’re almost on his lap. All you can think about is comforting him.

“Your mom wants a divorce,” Jeonghan croaks against your wet skin. “She–She—there’s someone else, and I—”

He cuts himself off with a quiet sob, and your heart just breaks for him. Part of you suspected it. Your mom was the one who would come home late or not at all sometimes. She would often accuse your stepdad of having an affair, but now you just know she was projecting her wrongdoings onto him. It makes you feel sick because even though she’s your mom, Jeonghan didn’t deserve that.

“I’m so sorry,” you say sincerely, stroking his back like he often did to you when you were upset.

As you comfort him, he slips his arms around you and presses you closer to him. An electrifying sensation courses through you when you become aware of how close you two are.

Urges that you’ve tried so hard to push to the depths of your mind suddenly rush forward, and now you can’t stifle them or pretend they don’t exist. Especially now that you’ve realized that your mom doesn’t deserve such a wonderful man.

So, you throw away every scrap of morality you have left in you and give into your depraved desires.

Jeonghan lets out a shocked noise when you push him back on the couch and straddle him. His eyes go wide and his mouth drops open in awe. You grin when he doesn’t immediately push you off, taking it as a sign to swoop down for a kiss.

He softly moans into your mouth, overwhelmed by how warm and soft you are. Jeonghan whimpers as tears keep streaming down his face, trembling when you pull away from him.

“It’s okay, daddy,” you purr in his ear, grinding your dampening cunt against his growing bulge. “Let me take care of you.”

Jeonghan shakes his head, hands slowly settling on your waist as if he wants to push you away. Except he doesn’t.

Instead, he lets you stay on his lap. Your stepdad doesn’t try to stop you even as you move in closer and start to undo his pants. He can easily push you off, but he doesn’t. Not even when you reach into his underwear to palm his growing cock. He’s hard. Really fucking hard.

“Wait, baby—” the pet name falls easily, and you love it.

“Shh, daddy,” you coo as you take him out of his pants. “Just let me touch you. Let me make you feel better.”

“Oh, god,” Jeonghan mewls when you start to stroke him.

Your stepdad’s cock is long and thick and oozing with precum. You lick your lips as you slowly move your hand, eyes trained on Jeonghan’s pretty face. You can tell he feels guilty, and you don’t blame him. He’s such a good guy that he wouldn’t want to hurt your mom, even after everything she’s done to him.

“We… we shouldn’t do this,” Jeonghan protests weakly.

When you get off his lap, he fights a whine even though he knows it’s for the best. Once again you surprise him by slipping out of your clothes and getting back on top of him. His pupils are blown wide when he sees your bare tits and cute pussy.

“Honey,” Jeonghan’s voice has gone deeper, eyes fixed on your body. “This is wrong.”

You ignore him because his cock is twitching and standing to attention. Gently, you cradle the back of his head and press his face to your chest. Your warm tits envelop him, and he’s delirious. You smell so good that it makes his brain fuzzy. Jeonghan feels his cock twitch when you reach for it again, and this time he doesn’t try to stop you.

“Please, daddy,” you beg as you glide your slick cunt over his throbbing cock. “I need your cock. Need it so fucking bad.”

A deep groan escapes him because you feel so warm and wet. Jeonghan just knows you’ll feel so good wrapped around his cock.

“You deserve my little pussy,” you whisper in his ear, pressing down harder on him. “Deserve to fuck someone who won’t ever make you feel so terrible.”

“God, baby,” Jeonghan grunts when he feels your dripping pussy nudging the head of his cock. His resolve is weak, and he doesn’t want to fight it anymore.

His moan syncs with yours when you slowly sink down on his cock. Your little cunt is so hot and tight. Jeonghan can’t think about things like guilt because he feels too fucking good. A nice, wet pussy wrapped around his neglected cock, sucking him in and squeezing him just right. He’s been so lonely and miserable lately that you feel like absolute heaven to him.

“Such a naughty little girl,” Jeonghan growls when you start to rock in his lap. You tighten around him and hold on to the back of his head when you start to bounce.

“Daddy,” you whimper as your juices coat his cock.

Jeonghan’s lips brush against your nipples as your bounces grow more eager. You clench around his fat cock when his weeping tip brushes against your sweet spot. Your stepdad lets out a mixture of a groan and a wail of pleasure as you keep riding him.

You’re lost in pleasure with the feeling of your stepdad’s hard cock twitching and throbbing inside you. It turns you on that he’s strong enough to push you off of him, but never attempts to. You cry out loudly when his hands curl around your waist to help you fuck his cock the way he likes it.

Jeonghan’s lidded gaze is focused on where you two are connected, watching as his cock disappears in and out of your little pussy with every rough bounce. He feels his balls start to tighten with his impending release. Never in his life has he felt so turned on. The way his stepdaughter is just using his cock like a toy is just driving him closer to the edge.

“Daddy,” you purr in Jeonghan’s ear. “You like my pussy better than my mom’s, don’t you?”

You already have your answer from the way he twitches and throbs inside you, his cock answering for him. It makes you happier than you expect. Of course, it would be you. Your pussy was made for him, and you’ll make sure he feels the same way by the end of the night.

“Fuck yeah I do,” Jeonghan groans as his hands go down to squeeze your ass. “Love this little princess cunt.”

You cry out loudly as your orgasm abruptly hits, coating his cock and balls with your essence. “Fuck, daddy! It’s yours! Only yours! You can have this princess pussy every day!”

Your fucked out moans do their job in pushing Jeonghan over the edge. He grips your hips and flips you under him, buries his head in your shoulder and frantically fucks you into the couch as he starts to spill his cum inside you. Lewd squelching fills the air as you happily wrap your legs around him and meet his thrusts to help him fuck his cum deeper inside you.

The both of you are panting by the time you’re done, but your stepdad makes no move to get off of you.

“Don’t think we’re done, little girl,” his voice is ravenous. “Daddy’s not letting you off this cock until you’re nice and stretched out.”

That’s how you end up on the bed he shares with your mother, face down and ass up as you beg for his cock. Jeonghan smirks, eyes trained on your sloppy hole. You look so hot like this, and he knows that he won’t ever let you go after tonight.

“What a nasty slut,” Jeonghan says, palms smoothing over the globes of your ass to keep you still. “Dripping all over my sheets. You want daddy’s cock that bad, honey?”

You whine and arch your back some more. “I need it!”

“Yeah?” You can tell he’s smirking. “Do you even care that your mom might wake up and see what a nasty slut her daughter is?”

You shake your head, pussy clenching around nothing. “Just want daddy’s cock in my little pussy.”

“Don’t worry, little girl,” Jeonghan groans as he kneels behind you. “Daddy’s going to stuff this needy hole and cover it with his cum.”

“Please!”

You cry out when Jeonghan shoves his thick cock into your clenching pussy. He bottoms out in a single thrust since you’re already so wet from when you rode him earlier. Your eyes roll to the back of your head, whining his name when you feel his balls slap against your clit.

“Oh, fuck,” your stepdad hisses. “Your little princess pussy keeps sucking me in, honey.”

Jeonghan spanks your ass. You moan loudly and clench down on his aching cock. “Mhm, just needed daddy’s cock to fill you up, huh?”

“Yes, daddy, yes!” You moan into his sheets.

The thick musk of sex fills the air as Jeonghan pulls his twitching cock out of you halfway only to slam it back into your needy cunt. You squeal and tighten around him when you feel him spread your ass and gently trace your asshole. His thumb slips down to gather juices from your dripping pussy and slides it back up to your asshole, gently pushing past the taut muscle. Your pussy clamps down on his dick hard, making him moan loudly.

“Can’t wait to break in this tight little hole too,” Jeonghan’s voice is thick with lust. “Gonna train you to take daddy’s cock in every hole.”

You moan and bounce back against him, cunt pulsing around his cock as his thumb slips in and out of your clenching rim. “Daddy!”

Jeonghan laughs in delight. “Sounds like you like it.”

You nod your head, and Jeonghan fucks into you harder, balls slapping against your sloppy cunt with every rough thrust. “God, you’re fucking tight.”

He groans when your sweet little pussy clenches around him again.

“Feels so fucking good, daddy,” you say as your eyes roll to the back of your head. “Love your big cock.”

You cry out in pleasure when his hand pulls away from your ass to slip his fingers over your hip to pinch and rub your sensitive clit.

“Is my little girl already cock drunk?” Jeonghan is way too pleased when you deliriously nod your head with a fucked out mewl.

You’re fucking perfect. It makes him wish he would’ve done this sooner.

“My pretty little slut,” Jeonghan coos adoringly. “Just a sweet little hole to dump my load into. Isn’t that right, baby?”

You shiver and meet his thrusts with more vigor, “Yes! Stuff my little hole full of your cum, daddy!”

“Fucking shit,” Jeonghan hisses as he grabs your hair and yanks you backward to give you a sloppy kiss.

His hips never stop, only snapping harder against you.

“I’ll give it to you, honey. Daddy’s going to cream your hot little cunt all night long.”

You mewl in satisfaction when your head is shoved back into the mattress as you keep getting railed hard. Wet slapping fills the room as your stepdad continues spearing you open on his cock. The smell of sex permeates the room as Jeonghan keeps using your body for his pleasure.

“Daddy’s close, baby,” Jeonghan groans.

You moan loudly. “Gonna cum, daddy!”

You’re moaning so loud now, and you don’t really care that your mom might wake up and come upstairs to catch her husband fucking you raw. All you can care about is how good you feel. You grind your pussy down on your stepdad’s throbbing cock while his fingers rub fast circles on your puffy clit.

“Yeah? Do it, honey.” Jeonghan leans forward to bite your shoulder. “Cream on me. Want to feel your juices all over my cock.”

His cock pistons in and out of your hot cunt, ramming against your g-spot repeatedly until all you can do is chant his name. You’re a moaning mess at this point, only caring about the white-hot pleasure you’re feeling.

“Gonna cum!” You slur out, drool dripping on the mattress.

“Cum for daddy, baby. Cum all over this cock.”

With those commanding words, Jeonghan spanks your cunt hard, palm coming down on your clit over and over until you’re screaming out in pleasure. It’s not long before your orgasm hits. Slick gushes out around his cock as he keeps fucking into that spongy spot and spanking your pussy. Your eyes roll to the back of your head as liquid spurts from your pussy and coats his cock and balls, making a mess all over the sheets.

It feels like electricity is coursing through your body from how intense you cum. Your fingers and toes curl in on themselves as your cunt pulses and clenches down on his cock.

“Fuck yes,” Jeonghan growls, as he keeps pounding into your fluttering pussy. “Didn’t know you were a squirter, little girl. So fucking sexy.”

It only takes a few more thrusts for him to bury himself deep inside your cunt and release his hot load inside you. Thick spurts of cum fill you up as he moans your name like it’s something holy. Jeonghan fucks his cum deeper inside you, making no move to slip out of your spent pussy.

However, you’re not done. Far from it, actually.

Jeonghan quickly flips you on your back, one hand on your hip and his other on your thigh. He’s spreading you open and holding you down as he starts to roll his hips into you. A deep groan leaves his mouth every time you clench down on him.

“Da—addy!” You cry out at a particularly sharp thrust that slams against your sweet spot and has you clenching violently around him, teetering on the edge already.

Jeonghan smirks, loving what a cock hungry slut you are. Not that he’s any better. He’s already addicted to your sweet little cunt.

“I know, honey, I know,” he coos in a sickly sweet voice as he continues to fuck you deep and hard. “Daddy’s cock feels good, huh?”

You nod stupidly, all coherent thoughts long gone from your mind. “Uh-huh. Feels so—so good!”

Jeonghan spits on your pussy as you grasp the sheets underneath you. You’re dripping all over him, making an obscene squelching noise every time his cock hits deep inside your tight pussy. He loves the way your pretty pussy opens up to let his aching cock inside. The way you grip him is the hottest sight he’s ever seen, and he knows nothing will ever compare.

“Daddy,” you mewl, barely able to think.

The only thing on your mind is that you want him to cum inside you again. You can’t voice your thoughts because an orgasm rocks your body all over again. Jeonghan laughs delightedly, loving how you keep wetting his dick with your orgasms.

“Dirty little girl,” he growls, bullying his cock into you harder than before. “Making such a mess on daddy’s cock.”

You mewl again, “I need…”

“Need what, baby?” Jeonghan coaxes as he starts to rub slow circles on your throbbing clit. “Say it. Tell daddy what you need, honey.”

“N-Need you to—!” His voice is so sweet that all you can do is break off into another moan. Your pussy tightens and stains his cock with more cream. All you can smell is sex and Jeonghan’s cologne. It only pushes you close to the edge once again.

Jeonghan laughs softly and fucks into you just a little harder, “You need me to...? Use your words, little girl. Daddy can’t give you what you want if you don’t tell him. Better hurry before your mom wakes up and finds you getting fucked like the nasty whore you are.”

That won’t happen, but you don’t need to know that. Although he can tell the thought of your mom catching you in their bed, fucking like animals, turns you on.

“Cum inside me, daddy. Please.”

Your words are slightly slurred and completely fucked out, and Jeonghan bites his lip before smirking down at you. There’s no way he can deny you his seed, especially when you’re asking him so nicely.

“There you go, honey. Take all of daddy’s cum like a good little slut.”

You and Jeonghan moan together when he spills his hot cum inside you. He fucks it into you like the last two times, loving how your tight pussy flutters and pulses around him. You’re such a good girl that you thank him repeatedly through a moan.

The rest of the night you two fuck in every position possible. Jeonghan is insatiable, and you’re tired and completely fucked out before he even thinks about letting you off his cock.

Jeonghan has your back pressed against his chest, a strong arm wrapped around your neck as he pounds you into his mattress. All of your previous orgasms leak on the sheets beneath you as you cry and gasp from the overstimulation. It all feels so good, but you don’t think you can handle any more.

“Daddy,” you whimper pathetically. “C-Can’t cum anymore.”

It feels like your head is starting to spin as his cock splits your pussy open. Jeonghan pounds into your g-spot relentlessly, cock swelling when he sees the tears streaming down your face. His cock twitches and throbs because despite your words, you’re still moving your hips to meet his thrusts.

Your stepdad smirks meanly. “Is that why you keep rutting against me like a nasty slut, little girl?”

You cry out when Jeonghan releases you and sits up to roughly smack your ass. He repeats the harsh motion until you’re screaming in pleasure. Your cunt clenches around him, hips involuntarily bucking back in an attempt to force his fat dick deeper into your tiny little pussy. It’s like an automatic reaction, but your stepdad loves it.

“Just lay there and let daddy breed you, honey,” Jeonghan growls when you give him another weak orgasm. He groans and smacks your ass as he forces the juices out of your soiled cunt with every snap of his hips. “Be a good cock sleeve for me.”

“Want it so bad, daddy!” You cry out, pussy fucked raw yet still so desperate for another one of his hot loads. “Breed me like the slut I am.”

“Want you to scream for me, baby.” Jeonghan moans as his head falls back. He pounds into your hot cunt harder, gripping your hips tighter as he chases his orgasm, using your pussy to get himself off. “Let your mother know how much you love your stepdad’s cock.”

“DADDY!” You scream at the top of your lungs, almost hoping your mom will walk upstairs and see her husband stuffing you full of cum on their marital bed.

Jeonghan cries out as his balls tighten up. His moan is loud as you cry out in pleasure, your pussy involuntarily giving him a fifth orgasm as he spills rope after rope of cum into your sopping pussy. He fucks you nice and deep, whispering filthy praises in your ear the entire time.

Your stepdad lets out a low hiss as he pulls his softening cock out of your sloppy pussy. He licks his lips and forces his cum back in with three of his fingers, pressing so deep into you that his wedding band touches your puffy little pussy lips, making you whine.

“Such a good little girl,” Jeonghan coos as he fingers his cum back into your pussy with a filthy smirk. “My pretty little slut.”

You’re completely fucked out, feeling completely satiated as you slump into the bed. You mewl softly when Jeonghan pulls you into his arms and starts to rub soothing circles on your pussy.

“Sleep, baby. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

He presses a gentle kiss on your temple, and just like that you’re out like a light.

Jeonghan smirks into your hair when your breathing evens out and you fall into a deep sleep. There’s no better feeling than knowing his plan worked perfectly.

Admittedly, your mom played a significant role. With her insecure and angry personality, it was easy to make himself look like the victim. Faking the maudlin expressions and crushed spirit was easy enough, especially since you’ve always been so empathetic. Getting his wife to stay out all night was easy since he always lied and told her he’d be at the bar. She went looking for him every single time not knowing he was at home, fucking his fist to the thought of you.

And then there was the final act.

Inviting his unsuspecting wife for a drink was easy enough. Despite all of the fighting, she still wanted to have Jeonghan to herself. She couldn’t have known that he spiked her drink so he could stage the perfect tragedy. It worked perfectly since you didn’t think twice about believing him.

Everything has worked out as he hoped, and now all he has to think of is the future with his true beloved. You.

[t1oui]

going to school and being friends with percy jackson would be REALLY WEIRD so let's discuss it rq

he gets dropped off every day in his stepfather's car, which inexplicably has hoof prints on the hood?

the panic attacks... there's a lot of them, and nobody can even tell what's triggering them at this point

the old counselor disappears about a week into his first year at AHS (here's some cotg lore for yall) and is replaced by a weird lady who finds a way to bring percy up to every. single. student. who visits her office.

randomly disappears multiple times throughout the year

very very sea green eyes and a gray streak in his hair

once got out of the pool after swim practice and was completely dry (he insists it was a trick of the light)

the blue food obsession ofc

talks about his girlfriend annabeth all the time... even his friends are convinced it's a "my canadian girlfriend" situation bc he never calls her. he doesn't even have a PHONE

always carries around a pen in his pocket and even though it's just a shitty old ballpoint, NOBODY IS ALLOWED TO TOUCH IT. also he never uses it. ever.

every teacher has sent an email with their concerns about him to the counselor and when that doesn't work to his parents. the responses are always very awkward and vague

talks about his bio dad a lot... never explicitly negative but bro clearly has daddy issues lol

will sometimes randomly mention camp/war/gods and then brush it off like it never happened

absolutely vibrated in his seat the entirety of the greek mythology unit... told the teacher "a demigod named perseus fought ares once" and the teacher just assumes he means the og (aka the one he's named after)

that one upbeat popular guy everybody knows absolutely nothing about, his friends included

they probably have a spreadsheet with all the info they actually DO know about him

finds a way to brag about his mom in every conversation no matter how irrelevant... his friends are used to it atp

everyone's so used to seeing him smiling and laughing that when, say, he catches a younger kid being bullied, it's actually terrifying to see how angry he gets. everybody in that hallway gets chills

there's something off about him and nobody can tell what. that's just how he is

sometimes weird people in weird outfits are hanging around the school and they're ALWAYS looking for him.

every time someone asks what college he's going to he gives a different answer or straight up avoids answering so nobody actually knows

(if he says a school and someone is like "omg me too" he changes his answer right then and there lol... he's like "oh nvm i forgot i'm actually going here my bad" and the person is so confused)

nobody ever sees him working on college applications but he complains about having to do them all the time... bro is like "yeah i had to go through a sewer system but at least my girlfriend and my best friend were there" and his friends are like yo HUH

never explains anything he says

presentation night presentation = all the shittiest things my family has done and he's laughing about it but wdym your aunt kidnapped you and gave you amnesia???

sometimes he's getting fed up with a teacher or another student and a pipe randomly bursts in the school. like it's weird how often his anger ends in a plumber being called when he's nowhere near the problem

where everyone else is excited to watch a movie and chill in class, percy complains through the entirety of hercules - not just "oh this movie sucks", more like "god hercules is such a dick, idk why they made him chill in this movie"

the weirdest part is how, when percy complains about zeus being a good dad in the movie, it starts thundering outside

nobody can keep track of how many schools he's been to at this point... there's a whole section of the spreadsheet for this

when percy's friends finally meet annabeth they are SHOOK bc they truly did not think this girl was real

alright i can't think of anything else but if i DO i will add on later

[lainiespicewrites]

Electric Summer

I decided to start something new! I know I said I was going to try to finish Coach Sy first but I just don't have ideas for it. And this would not leave me alone.

Summary: OFC is a camp counselor. She and Sy used to be childhood besties and used to have a summer fling. But when they get older and school ends. She thinks she'll never see him again.

Warnings: none

Let me know what you think. Comments and Reblogs are always welcome

This work is totally my own and I own all my mistakes. Obviously, I don't own Sy.. man I wish

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This was easily my favorite time of the year. I love the fall and the smell of the leaves and cozy blankets and warm drinks. It was a beautiful time of year. Fall was my favorite season. But this was not that. This was magic. Summer’s always were. Even when the sun went down at 9pm and the sky faded to black there was still an electric energy that burned in the air. The nights weren’t over just because the sun had fallen. In fact that was the time when the best memories were made. Especially here. It’s so cliche, but to me this is the happiest place on earth. Forget Disney world. No, the best times were had slipping away from mom and dad and spending the summer with friends you hadn’t seen all year, jumping in the lake, tipping a canoe, hiking through the woods at night, sneaking off to steal a kiss with your crush behind the cabin, and warming up around the campfire at night. 

This camp built me. It holds my dearest memories from my childhood and adolescents. When they messaged me and asked about coming back as a counselor it was an easy answer. 

I looked over at my best friend pouting on my bed while I packed my suitcase. 

“I can’t believe you’re gonna be gone all summer!” she grumbled. I laughed, shaking my head at her. 

“I told you, you could come too! They need more counselors.” I stated, matter of fact. She scrunched up her nose  and raised an eyebrow. 

“I love kids but I’m not very outdoorsy, no way I’d last all summer! I’m too pale to be in the sun that long.” she retorted

“Fair, we’ve been swimming once this year and you’re already burnt.” I chuckled. I put another towel in my bag and she took it out and threw it on the bed. I sighed.

“It’s not forever V, you can literally come visit me.” I said “I won’t be on my  phone much at all  but I can give you nightly updates before lights out!” I promised.

“Fine,” she conceded, repacking the towel for me. “But if you meet somebody and start some whirlwind summer love you better tell me immediately! I want all the details! We haven't spent this long apart literally since we became friends!” I laughed 

“I doubt it, but if the perfect man somehow manages to show up to sweep me off my feet at summer camp I’ll let you know!” I told her. 

“It could happen! Didn’t you have a lil summer boyfriend when you were younger?” She asked. I thought back to my days as a camper. All the friends I’d made, the silly little camp crushes. Then there was him. For 3 straight summers there was him. I tried to resist it at first. He was incredibly charming. A lot of the girls had a crush on him. He was energetic and funny and he had this big smile. That first summer we became fast friends. I tried to ignore him but he wouldn’t leave me alone. If I got up to leave the group he’d get up and ask where I was going. When we had to use the buddy system for a game or a hike. He would claim me before one of my girls could. His friends would get mad at him for it. I never understood it. But camp was only 2 weeks long. I didn’t have enough time to dwell on it. 

The next summer. He grew. He had to be at least a foot taller. His hair had grown out into these beautiful wild curls. I think maybe he’d started working out. He mentioned he was playing football in school. So maybe that was why he seemed more toned. He still had that big sweet smile. He’d grown into a gentle giant. It must’ve been fate that once again our cabins were paired together as a group. And because we’d become such good friends he sought me out immediately. Pulling me into a big hug. 

“Hey girl!” He beamed, squeezing me tight. “Glad we’re here together again, how have you been?” He asked enthusiastically. I chuckled, my arms still wrapped around his middle as I found my footing again. He’d practically lifted me off the ground. 

“It’s good to see you too, Logan.” I smiled. Despite how hard I tried, That summer, I could not deny that I had developed feelings for him. I was too shy to tell him. And I loved being friends with him. I didn’t want to lose that. However even though Logan didn’t seem to notice it was painfully obvious to one of my bunkmates. 

“You should tell him you like him!” Tasha said, sneaking up behind me. This particular day the girls in our cabin decided to ditch the boys, who were off  playing ultimate frisbee or something, and go on a hike. 

“What?” I said quickly. She shook her head. 

“Girl, you obviously have the biggest crush on Sy, you should tell him.” she repeated herself. I started to chew on my lip nervously. 

“Logan? I… tosh… he’s my best friend. Aside from you of course,” I assured her, “I can’t tell him.” I said. She sighed dramatically. 

“Why not? He’s literally so nice, the worst that would happen is he’d say he wants to stay friends.Plus I really think he likes you too!” she said hopefully. 

“You can’t know that.” I retorted. She shook her head at me again. 

“I’ve heard people talk about it. I was in the bathroom last night and I overheard these girls from cabin F talking, one of the girls said she’s really jealous of you because of the way Logan clings to you,” she argued. 

“He does not cling to me,” I said. 

“We had to tell him our hike was no boys allowed because he was gonna ditch the boys to come with us!” she cried. 

“Maybe he wanted to hike?” I argued. Tasha gave up and just laughed. 

“Girl you’re hopeless.” she said, as we continued to walk. 

A few days later the boys and girls cabin went on a night hike together. It was a tradition. Something we did every year. We walked through the woods when it got dark and played games as a group. I hated it. It freaked me out. I was not a horror movie fan and this was like an invitation for a demon to jump out and attack you. Needless to say I was scared the whole time. Sy picked up on it immediately. Sticking with me the whole time. Distracting me and making me laugh. And when I got really tense on the walk back he grabbed my hand. When we were back in the clearing by the cabins Tasha looked back at us and noticed our hands smiling to herself. She stopped walking until she was next to me on the other side and whispered in my ear. 

“Girl if you don’t tell him I will.” I pouted and gave her a look and she just laughed skipping ahead again to hold the hand of this year's camp boyfriend. Needless to say I still didn’t tell him. I spent the next week and a half doing everything I could to avoid it. 

On the last day of camp a few of us were sitting in the grass in the sun soaking up the last few hours together before our parents arrived and we had to say goodbye. We were talking about our favorite things we’d done this summer. What we were gonna miss. Promising to keep in touch. 

“Hey Logan, you know you only live like an hour from Lainie?” Tasha said all of a sudden. 

“Oh yeah?” He asked, looking over at me with a big smile on his face. 

“Mhmm.” she continued, "You guys could totally hang out sometime!” she exclaimed. 

“How did you know that?” I asked her suddenly.

“I looked it up,” she shrugged. I rolled my eyes but then looked over at Sy, his long legs stretched out in front of him on the grass, leaning back on his elbows, the sun shining down perfectly warming his face. He looked beautiful. He had a sparkle in his eye when I met his gaze. 

“What, you don’t wanna see me?” He pouted. “I think it’d be fun! You get your license in a couple weeks right?” He raised his brows eyes hopeful. I was surprised he remembered. We talked about it at campfire a couple nights ago. He told me he was saving up for his own car so he didn’t have to drive his brothers hand me down anymore. And I said I just couldn’t wait to be able to drive without my mom in the car. 

“Yeah,” I said, “I do, and of course I wanna see you Logan,” I blushed. 

“That’s perfect,” Tasha spoke again. “You guys could go on a date or something!” she winked. 

“Huh?” I choked. Glaring at her. Logan didn’t say anything. Or if he did I was too shocked to hear what he said. 

“Girl, don't act like you don’t have the biggest crush on him. We all know it.” I could feel everyone's eyes on me now and my cheeks were burning. 

“Is that true?” Logan asked softly. I couldn’t look at him. I chewed at my lip trying to come up with anything to make this go away but I couldn’t . 

“I-I …my parents are gonna be here soon! I need to finish packing!” I said and stood up quickly running toward the cabin. That wasn’t true. I packed everything this morning. I was bragging about it to him saying I had the whole rest of the day to enjoy what we had left of camp. He knew I was lying. I heard him call after me but I didn’t stop. Not until I got back to our cabin. The boys weren’t allowed there. I could stay there and hide until It was time to go. And that’s what I did. An hour later our counselor came to find me telling me my parents had arrived to take me home. I didn’t see Logan when I was leaving. I didn’t look for him. I was too embarrassed to find him to say goodbye. So I didn’t. I left without a word. And I felt horrible about it. 

Another year came and went. Logan and I never met up after summer. I didn’t text him. I was too afraid. And I’d never given him my number.  I was beside myself with nerves about returning to camp that next summer. It was my favorite place on earth. And my worst nightmare all wrapped into one. After the way I’d left things with him last year I was afraid to see him. I thought that maybe I’d get lucky and he wouldn’t be there the same week I was. Or we wouldn’t be in the same group. So at least I could avoid him. Even if it was gonna hurt. 

Of course that’s not what happened. Again our cabins were in a group. The first day I avoided making eye contact with him. And I always stuck with the girls. I didn’t want a chance for us to be alone together. Conveniently Tasha couldn’t make it to camp this year. So I was stuck in the mess she’d made without her help.  He and I were together for group activities but I didn’t talk much. I kept to myself. That worked for the first day. But it didn’t last long. During the afternoon at camp we didn’t have a lot of scheduled activities. So we could pretty much run around and do whatever we wanted. And since we were the late highschool aged group. We didn’t have to follow the “buddy system,”  They encouraged it but I guess if we went missing that was on us. It was just after lunch. Maybe 2pm. There was this little circle of bench swings in the park. It was a great place to gather as a group. A lot of times we would sit and reflect on the day there before the campfire at night. But right now no one was there. I liked to keep a journal while I was at camp. To keep all of the memories. So I sat on one of the swings with one leg folded under me and the other dangling off to push myself on the swing. I didn’t see him coming. I was too busy scribbling down all of  my thoughts. I didn’t notice anyone was there until I heard the creak of the chains from the swing directly across from mine. I looked up. Logan was sitting on the swing, his arms stretched over the back of it and rocking back and forth on his heel pushing the swing. I set my pen in my journal, closing it slowly, before I could speak, he said. 

“Please don’t run,” His voice sounded deeper somehow even though he spoke softly. I knew he was from the south. He always had a bit of a twang but I’d never noticed that drawl like I did now. When he was pleading with me. I swallowed hard and nodded. “I don’t like this,” He spoke again when I remained silent. “I hate that you’re ignoring me.” 

“I’m not…” I started

“You are,” He interrupted, letting out a deep sigh. “Lainie,” he said, my childhood nickname. The one he’d started to call me after we all shared fun facts about ourselves. It was the name all of my mothers family had called me since I was a baby. He’d never actually addressed me by my name from that point on. It was always a joke between us. A little sentiment that he claimed as his. It sounded sad now. As he pulled his eyes from the mulch on the ground to meet my gaze. “You are my best friend. You can talk to me. About anything. Hell, I’m closer with you than I am with any of my friends back home.” He said. “I know that things were kinda awkward when we left last summer but you didn’t even say goodbye.” He paused. I bit my lip, starting to feel emotional.

“I’m sorry,” I said softly. “I was so embarrassed.” I finally admitted to him. “I didn’t mean to leave like that. But everyone was looking at me. And I was scared and I was afraid I was gonna lose you as a friend. But I guess I did that all on my own.” I sighed. 

Sy stood up and crossed the space from his swing to mine. He paused waiting to see if I’d make room for him. Naturally I did. He sat next to me. Stretching his arm out behind me on the back of the swing. 

“You couldn’t lose me if you tried darlin,”  A soft smile formed on his lips.  If I didn’t know any better, it almost looked sad.  I could tell that he was having an inner battle in himself.  “Why were you scared?”  He finally asked.  I swallowed a lump that was forming in my throat.  There was no point in avoiding it now.  He had to know that I’ve had a crush on him.  Even I know that he isn’t too oblivious to realize that much.  I felt my breath hitch when I felt his hand cover my shoulder.  A gentle squeeze and a soft storking of his thumb brought my eyes to his.

“Because I didn’t want anything to change, what we’ve got going is good,” I spoke barely above a whisper. 

“Why would…” He started. But I cut him off before I lost my nerve. 

“Because Tasha was right. I did..do have a big crush on you. But it’s silly, and you’re such a great friend to me Logan, I didn’t want to lose that because of how I was feeling.” I rambled. 

“Huh,” He breathed. “You have a crush on me? I never would of guessed.” He smirked. I pouted and smacked his shoulder. 

“Sy, I’m serious!” I ran my hand through my hair and turned away from him to nervous to hold eye contact. I heard him chuckle softly before I felt his fingertips gently brush across my jaw turning me back to face him. 

“I know, I’m sorry,” he paused regaining his composure. “You really think I didn’t notice?” He raised both brows and had a gentle smile on his lips. 

“You knew?” I muttered softly still so embarrassed about the whole situation. 

“It’s kinda what I what I was hoping for, I’ve only been flirtin’ with ya for two summers now,” He laughed. It was my turn to be confused. I raised an eyebrow. This only caused him to laugh more. 

“You?” I paused trying to wrap my head around what I was trying to say. “Wait so?” 

“I’d have loved to have taken you out, If you’d have given me the chance.” He explained. I hung my head resting it my hands and groaned. 

“I’m an idiot.” I sighed. 

“No,” Sy said, “I should have said something sooner, and Tosh shouldn’t have called you out like that. I’d known for a while but, I really liked the way things were between us. I didn’t see a reason for us to push anything.” He said slowly pulling my hand away from my face and lacing his fingers with mine. 

“You really liked me this whole time.” I said finally looking up at him, relaxing a bit when he smiled. 

“Since the day I met you.” He admitted. I smiled. And squeezed his hand I sat up moving to sit closer to him. I opened my mouth to speak but before I could one of the counselors was interrupting us.

“Hey guys you know the rules. No purpling, No PDA,” They warned us and stood there until Sy let go of my hand.  They nodded at us before walking off to montier the rest of the play ground. Some of the younger age groups were playing in the park. ‘No purpling’ such a stupid metaphor. Girls are red boys are blue if red and blue touch it makes purple. It was so annoying. 

“I hate that damn rule.” He grumbled. I giggled softly. 

“Yeah, me too.” we both just looked at each other and smiled. 

After that moment we spent the rest of that summer by each others side. Camp always seemed like such a short time and this time it seemed like it was slipping away even faster. We never made anything official but we did hold hands when no one was looking and occasionally we would sneak off from the group to have time alone. 

One evening after dinner a few of us decided we wanted to take out some canoes on the lake. Of course the two of us took one out on our own. For some reason that night Sy  was quiet. He had been a lot of the day. I finally decided to ask him about it. “Are you okay?” I asked after a few minutes of silence had passed while we floated in the middle of the lake. 

“Yeah,” He answered quickly “Why?” He wouldn’t meet my eye. 

“You’ve just been quiet, is something bothering you? You can talk to me.” I assured him. He sat there for a few seconds without saying anything before letting out a deep breath. 

“This is gonna be my last summer at camp.” He said softly. My heart sank. I knew he was about a year older than me. And we could only come back as campers through the year after we graduated high school. But he was about to start his Senior year. He still had one more summer. 

“But you haven’t graduated yet. You can still come back next year!” I said hopefully. 

“It’s not that,” He bit his lip looking out at the water still refusing to look at me. “I signed up for the military. I’m gonna be in the army. I start basic right after I graduate. And then they’ll send me wherever they need me.” He said finally meeting my eyes. 

“Oh,” I nodded. “So, after this summer, we won’t ever see each other again.” I said sadly. 

“Hey, no,” he said, grabbing my hand, “We still got a whole year. I could come see you or you could drive to me and we… we could make this…” He trailed off. 

“Logan,” my voice cracked as I started to speak. “You and I both know it’s not going to work. You’re going to be so busy with football and your friends and your family. And I will be too.” I felt him squeeze my hand and he nodded, a sad look in his eyes. 

“I know, but I just got you, I don’t wanna let go yet.” He said. I felt a tear fall and I wiped it away quickly, not wanting to make him feel any worse. 

“Maybe, we were only ever meant to have summer.” I said. 

“Yeah,” He whispered. “Guess we better make the most of it.” 

We spent every second we could together the rest of camp. Hell he even walked me to the bathroom. It killed me to know this was all we were ever going to be. I’d never met anyone like Logan before. I hated to say that I was in love with him. I mean I was only 16 but. It sure felt like it. We did every activity together, sat together at dinner. And he’d put his arm around me at campfire when the adults weren’t looking. The night before camp was over was the annual night hike. He knew how much I hated it. So while the rest of the group headed off into the woods he grabbed my hand and led us to another trail that led to an open grassy field. The boys usually played frisbee or softball out here. 

“Logan,” I whispered. “We’re gonna get in trouble.” I said. 

“They’ll never notice we’re gone.” He said. Pulling me into his chest and hugging me tight holding me for a moment. “I just wanna be alone with you.” he mumbled into my hair. He walked us out to the middle of the field and sat down pulling me down with him. “Come here.” He said laying back on the grass and pulling me into his side. I snuggled up to him laying my head on his chest. We laid like that for a while just silent. Looking at the stars above us. 

“I don’t wanna leave tomorrow. I don’t want to have to say goodbye.” He said. I felt myself start to tear up but I forced them down. 

“Are you scared?” I asked. 

“No,” He admitted shaking his head. “My dad was in the service and my grandpa, my older brother. It’s just what we do.” He said. 

“I hate this.” I sighed. I couldn’t lie to myself anymore or him. 

“Me too darlin.” he said. We laid there in silence again. Until he spoke. “Would it… would it be too selfish to ask you to wait for me?” He asked. I felt tense. I sat up laying my hand on his chest and turned to look at him. 

“Logan, you don’t need me to wait for you, you’ll meet some pretty girl in your home town. Some girl you can come back home too when it’s all over. You’ll have long forgotten about me when you come home.”

“I could never forget you Lainie,” He said softly. My breath hitched. His eyes bore deeply into mine. Even with nothing but the moon light and the stars lighting his face I could see he meant it. 

“Sy,” I whispered. He caressed my cheek sitting up to close the distance between us. This would be the first time we’d ever kissed. Maybe the last. I could feel his breath against my lips as my eyes fluttered shut. 

“There you two are!” The boys councelor called from across the clearing. “What were you thinking you had us all worried!” We’d been caught. 

We didn’t kiss that night. We never did. The next day when my parents came to get me. He stood there outside of our cabin holding me tight. Neither of us wanted to let go. But he didn’t kiss me goodbye. We couldn’t do it. I guess it was better not to know what we were missing. 

“I’m never gonna stop thinking about ya,” He said. As we finally pulled away. 

“Neither will I.” I said 

That was 7 years ago. We didn’t see each other after that. I cried and sulked the rest of that summer. 

I shook my head bringing me back to the present. My best friend still sitting on my bed looking at me expectantly. 

“Hello, Lainie,” she snapped her fingers. 

“What? Uh yeah, I guess I did have a summer fling. I mean, we were never official, never kissed or anything. But that was years ago. Who know’s where he is now.” I said. 

“Who knows. Fate has this way of bringing people together.” She said. I shook my head. 

“You’re such a hopeless romantic.” I laughed.

“And you’re hopeless, would it kill you to belive in fairtales. Or romance.”  she argued. I just laughed. 

“You know what you’re right. You never know what will happen this summer, camp always has been a magical place.” I said. 

A few hours later I was finally on the road. I felt the excitement rise up inside me as I passed the familiar rode signs. I was almost there. I thought my heart was gonna burst when I pulled into the long drive under the main archway. After parking my car I walked up to the main building to meet with the camp director. 

“Lainie!” She smiled greeting me with a hug. “I’m so happy you were able to join the team this year!” She beamed. 

“I jumped at the opportunity Becca, I wouldn’t miss it!” I said. 

“We’re glad to have you, I’ll get you checked in so you can get settled and get your cabin set up and meet your co-coucelor. You’re with one of the boys cabins. You’ll be in cabin E and He and his boys are in A.” She smiled. 

“Okay sounds great!” I was buzzing with excitement. 

“I’ll let you get to it,” she said “I’m sure you remember where everything is!” 

I unpacked my car and carried my bag and suitcase to my cabin. It felt so good to be back. I started to unpack and make up my bunk when I heard a knock on the screen door. I figued it must’ve been my co-concelor coming to meet me. I walked to the door stepping out on to the porch of the Cabin, seeing a man standing there. He was maybe 6,1 his hair was buzzed short. And he had a full beard. He had broad shoulders and a warm smile. His eyes went wide when they landed on me. And the moment I met the I knew why. “Lainie?” He asked. Still with that deep southern drawl. 

“Logan?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tagging my usual suspects, but let me know if you'd like to be added!

This is not the end of this story at all! There is much more to come here I can't wait to get started!!

Link for pt 2

@enchantedbytomandhenry @summersong69 @carrie80reads @identity2212 @caramariehurst @redheadrouge @warriormirkwood @gummydummy19 @deandoesthingstome @shellyshellshell @mary-ann84 @starfirewildheart @foxyjwls007

[autistichalsin]

I should have stopped talking to my mom any of the times she accused me and my dad of incest because she was jealous of our closeness, or the time she laughed when I told her about my sister assaulting me and laughed "to be fair, I fantasized about your neck too", or any of the times she hit my dad, or the time she said she wished she could kill me, or any of the times she kicked me out in winter with no coat, or the time she called me a bitch (ON MY BIRTHDAY!) because I said i didn't know what time I'd be out of bed, or when she admitted to not teaching us life skills because she wanted us to need her, or any of the times she continued to put essential oils in my room knowing it triggered my asthma, or the time she accused me of faking my allergy to our laundry detergent to be difficult despite the hives on my skin, or the time she yanked me by the hair trying to drag me out of my little brother's room so she could scream at him and then she told my grandma I was the one hurting her, or the time she threw a tumbler at my head, or the time she said I use people because i needed my dad to drive me to the doctor, or the time my SIL was in labor and my mom sent me a picture of a baby, then when I called all excited asking if my nephew was here she laughed FAKE NEWS!!! and told me he wasn't here yet, or the time she told everyone in my family I didn't like playing music and only did to be like my sister so that they wouldn't help me afford a class trip like they'd done for my sister, or the time I was in the hospital for suicidal thoughts and then when my counselor and I met with her and I told her I needed her to stop drinking for my health to improve, she got pissed and snapped "why is this about ME??" or when she let my sister live with us after said sister sexually assaulted my brother, assaulted me with the aforementioned neck licking, and poured her beer on me and flicked bits of meat at me knowing it would upset me as a vegetarian, or when my mom yelled at me to "be a real girl for once" because i wouldn't shave my legs, or when she bought my sister a gaming system the week before my birthday one year and got me nothing, or the repeated times she showed complete and utter apathy to me and my achievements and my hobbies, or the time she lied about my coming out story and then used that to farm likes on her Twitter, or the time she called me a spoiled princess because one single time I was tired and hungry after classes at college and asked my little brother to make me a PBJ sandwich, or the time she screamed at me to use my student aid money to get her chips, increasingly mad when I refused, then when I finally caved and walked to the store to get them for her and came back, threw them at me screaming that it wasn't about the "FUCKING DORITOS" and refused to eat a single chip, or the time my little brother and i went out for my birthday and then my mom threw out our leftovers and tried to break the Super Mario Galaxy disc he'd gotten for me as a present, or the time she hit my dad and screamed at him for getting me Elton John tickets for my birthday one of the rare years we had money-

But I didn't. i should have, but I didn't. Even after I moved out more than five years ago, there was always something. I was afraid she'd retaliate, or I felt responsible for her or I was afraid she'd get sicker or I was afraid i wouldn't get to see my dad again.

Because of that, i let her continue abusing me for years after I moved out. I thought she had become a better person when she got sober. She was working on herself and on rebuilding trust. But now she's right back to the same person she was. And I can't do this anymore. I just can't. I have nothing left to give that woman. I love my dad and I know, with how my mom is, I'll only get to email him anymore if I cut off my mom, because she controls everything with him. I watched, from when I was little to when I was 18, as she cut off more and more from him. She made him quit the sports groups he was in, made him stop going to work parties and stop seeing his friends, until he had literally nothing outside the house but work. I hate thinking that I'm abandoning him to her. And that I might not see him as he gets older. But I just can't do this anymore.

And what was the last straw, you ask?

I asked if they could make a new group chat.

My best friend is like my platonic life partner, to the point of being on the family group chat that includes in-laws. My best friend also lost her mom to cancer a few years ago, and as a result, has PTSD including hospitals being VERY triggering for her. My sister's FMIL is very sick and she's been texting updates. After my best friend said it was too triggering, I texted my mom and sister aside and asked if we could make a new group chat without my best friend on it so she wouldn't be triggered. My mom proceeded to go off on me, accusing my best friend and I of being selfish and not loving/caring about my sister. She said my sister didn't choose any of this and my best friend should "just not be triggered" (wtf???)

So. I blocked her. And we're cancelling our trip to see them for Thanksgiving too.

I tried. I gave her so many chances. I put up with a hundred times more abuse than anyone else would have because I loved her and i was so sure that I could help her, and maybe in some ways I did, but the favor was almost never returned. Anyone else would have cut her off for any one of those things.

She has no one to blame but herself. i did more for her than her other three kids put together and now she won't have that anymore because of her inability to stop being abusive. Ultimately... she needs me a lot more than I need her. And I'm done sacrificing for her. i could deal with the favoritism. With knowing that if my sister and I were trapped in a burning building and she could only save one of us, it would be my sister and she would never look back. I could deal with that. I could deal with the years of abuse and manipulation. I even managed to live with her denying my little brother's sexual assault ever happened and for saying I manipulated my brother into thinking he'd been raped to "prove an agenda". But there's a reason they call it the last straw and not the only straw. There's a huge fucking pile under it and I just physically can't do it anymore.

So have a nice life, mom. If you apologize, I might consider unblocking you and maybe coming for visits every now and then. But what we had? Gone. And you have only yourself to blame. Find a new person to unload all your fucking whining on. I am going to enjoy never having to hear you whine about opioids being outlawed, EVER FUCKING AGAIN. No more hijacking my conversations to talk about politics. No more talking about yourself for a full 20 minutes without even asking how I'm doing. No more calling me three times while I'm on a work shift because you forgot your Indian food order and NEEDED me to place the order for you. Fuck off. Do it yourself. I AM DONE.

[tanoraqui]

the thing is... JK Rowling did write the books. She certainly did write the books, which was the pivotal first step.

However, here is an incomplete list of people who meant more to my experience of reading and enjoying the Harry Potter books than JKR ever did:

My grandmother, who read them because she loved to read and because she wanted to understand what the hell her granddaughter - whom she'd recently moved 3,000 in part to live near - spent 90% of her time talking about; who passed away this past fall.

My other grandmother, who read them for more or less the same reason except without the cross-country move; who passed away in 2014. It was in her honor that I bought the current set of books I own.

The uncle-shaped family friend who always listened to me expound on my latest theories for the next book, and told me his own like an equal in intellectual debate

That one writer on Mugglenet's fanfiction archive who wrote a crack soap opera fic in which Professor McGonagall got pregnant from Crookshanks, and the children were cat-human hybrids whom they called "kiddens." That haunts me to this day.

Honestly, collectively every single person who wrote content, be it recordkeeping, fic, or analysis, for MuggleNet circa 2005-2008. Some people spent their internet-childhoods on Neopets or Club Penguin; I read every single page on MuggleNet.com.

The summer camp counselor who'd read HBP when I hadn't yet, and who responded to my positively tsundere attitude toward spoilers by telling me straight-faced that Harry started dating Luna [not Ginny]. A) The fucking audacity! she lied right to my annoying 10yo face! B) I got to experience the giddiness of finding out what happened twice, once then and again later when I read the book! Thank you, Natalie(?) from Y-Camp!

The two friends with whom I went to the DH midnight release party at my local secondhand bookstore, in closet cosplay. We were all in the first 5 people to get our books, and we promptly started reading them while standing outside the bookstore, in the light coming through the front window. 1 of them was parentally required to go to bed but the other and I stayed up all night reading, until we finished the books sometime mid-morning.

My dad, specifically when he (still) tells the story of having to make a "walk of shame" (his words) back to the bookstore the next afternoon, to ask if they had the broom we'd accidentally left behind.

The tourists from America, England, France and China who were all waiting in line at the Platform 9 3/4 overpriced photo op in King's Cross Station the same time I was, in the summer of 2013, which unironically made me feel more spiritually connected with humanity as a whole than possibly any other experience in my life. Like, this is embarrassing. It's a pure tourist trap. Yet people from LITERALLY all around the world had all made the same journey I had to be there, just because we all loved the same books. and that's...really special.

...you know? So, JKR is doing real harm to the trans community now, and will continue to do more and maybe even worse in the future; and I am so, so sympathetic and angry about that. I have no intention of giving her money or any other support ever again, nor of encouraging anyone else to do so.

But all her present vitriol is only drops in the lake of my warm memories. I don't let them give me a falsely rosy view of her, but nor will I let her poison them. And I encourage others to let themselves find the same balance, if they can.

[linkemon]

Butter (Forger Loid x Reader)

Friendly reminder that English is not my first language. You can check my Masterlists both in English and Polish here. Consider supporting me on Ko-fi. You can also check out my commissions if you're interested.

Other oneshots can be found here.

ʟᴏɪᴅ ɪꜱ ʟᴏᴏᴋɪɴɢ ꜰᴏʀ ɪɴꜰᴏʀᴍᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴇᴅᴇɴ ᴀᴄᴀᴅᴇᴍʏ. ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴏɴᴇ ᴄᴏᴍᴇꜱ ᴛᴏ ʜɪꜱ ᴀɪᴅ - ᴀɴ ᴏʟᴅ ᴀᴄǫᴜᴀɪɴᴛᴀɴᴄᴇ ꜰʀᴏᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇꜱ ᴡʜᴇɴ ʜᴇ ᴡᴀꜱ ꜱᴛɪʟʟ ᴛʀᴀɪɴɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴀ ꜱᴘʏ - [ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ]. ɪɴ ʙᴇᴛᴡᴇᴇɴ ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ᴀɴʏᴀ, ᴡʜᴏ ᴡᴀɴᴛꜱ ᴛᴏ ᴇᴀᴛ ʜᴇʀ ᴘᴇᴀɴᴜᴛꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ᴇxᴘᴇʀɪᴇɴᴄᴇ ᴀɴ ᴀᴅᴠᴇɴᴛᴜʀᴇ ʟɪᴋᴇ ɪɴ ʜᴇʀ ꜰᴀᴠᴏᴜʀɪᴛᴇ ꜱᴘʏ ᴡᴀʀꜱ…

"Smooth like butter, like a criminal undercover Gon' pop like trouble breaking into your heart like that" Butter BTS

Anya obediently held her father's hand as she slowly trotted through the sunny city. There were so many things happening around her that she didn't know which way to look. In the orphanage, she rarely went outside. If so, it's usually a dirty yard. The buildings she was looking at now did not resemble the view from the small window of the old tenement house. They were big and colorful. She smiled broadly. It was definitely a fun day. 

— Where are we going? — she asked, tugging lightly on the sleeve of his suit. 

— To the kiosk. To get the newspaper. — Loid adjusted his hat and turned into another of the many streets. 

— [Reader] is a good informant. She'll definitely get some information about the school. 

It wasn't like Anya wanted to eavesdrop on others' thoughts. Sure, sometimes she really tried to do it on purpose and usually succeeded but it was usually without her control. That's why she didn't like crowds. In large crowds of people, her power went a bit crazy. There were times when she heard too much at once. That's why she was glad to go to a less crowded.

She looked at dad. Ask him? No, she couldn't. She would have to explain to him what was going on. He would have realized that she wasn't completely normal and he would have given her back. If she wanted to stay with him, she had to get into school. This was important to his mission. 

She strained her head. Informant... Informant... Informant... Someone like that was definitely in an episode of Spy Wars. She just couldn't quite remember which one. She usually focused on what Bondman was doing. After all, he was the coolest hero of all. He shot, defeated enemies and saved the princess. 

— Good morning. — Forger entered the small shop. 

The bell above the door jingled a few times, letting the owner know that a customer had arrived. Loid took off his hat out of politeness, looking around the shelves. He looked at Anya with a significant look. She furrowed her brow in thought but soon realized what he meant. 

— Good morning! — she screamed. 

— Hello, nice to see my regular customer! — The saleswoman immediately stopped reading the book and seemed to perk up. 

Anya looked at her closely. She had gray hair. Her face wasn't yet wrinkled like the orphanage counselor's but she leaned on her cane from time to time. 

— Dad, how do you know the old lady? 

— Anya, that's very rude. You shouldn't say that. Apologize — Forger sighed. 

— It's okay. — The lady behind the counter laughed loudly. 

— It's a good sign. My cover is working. And I thought that with my beauty I wouldn't be able to pretend to be an old woman. Checkmate, headquarters! 

Anya widened her eyes in disbelief. It must have been the whole informant. The longer she looked at her, the more small details she noticed in her disguise. Her hands were very young. And in one place above her ear the colour of her hair was slightly different than the gray that dominated her head. She wasn't old at all. She was just pretending. The little girl felt a surge of pride. She figured it out herself. 

— You must be Anya? Mr. Forger told me a little about you. — The woman smiled friendly. 

— My name is Anya Forgerzzz. I'm this years old. — She lifted her fingers neatly. — And I like peanutz very much. 

[Reader] looked at the little girl. She had to admit she was adorable. Maybe not quite perfect for this mission, judging by Twilight's report but she should be able to handle it with a little help. To which she herself was to contribute significantly. 

Eden Academy didn't accept just anyone. Known for its demanding course of education, it expected wealth, knowledge, good manners and elegance from students. It quickly eliminated families that didn't fit in and there was no chance of returning. You only had one chance to try to get there. Her professional friend — Franky — entrusted her with obtaining information about the school, as well as the main target of the mission — Donovan Desmond. She had to pass it on somehow, so she bought a small building a bit from the center. Running the kiosk was extremely boring. People usually stopped by to get their newspapers early in the morning. After that she was off almost all the time. Seeing Twilight reminded her, as always, of other, more interesting times, when she was still training to become an agent like him. Did she regret changing her profession? Maybe sometimes, when she almost fell asleep out of boredom, poring over the pages of a novel to pass the time. However, she had little choice. An injury in the last year of training eliminated her from the game. Working as a spy would strain her leg in the long run. So she took the informant course. 

Twilight hasn't changed much since his student days. Already in his first year he was promisingly good. The closer he got to completing his training, the more he proved he was perfect for the job. Now, working on the Strix, he has become his profession's best hope for peace. A lot of people were jealous of [Reader] for getting the chance to work with him. Some of her friends from work bothered her to ask him for autographs on their behalf. She disagreed, answering evasively. He didn't like it and didn't have much time. She didn't want to bother him with such trifles. Even if it made her look like a mean friend in the eyes of others. 

Women were still crazy about him. Both those in the field, at the headquarters, and those that he had to use for his missions. [Reader] wasn't surprised at all. He had a kind of charisma but he could also be sensitive when needed. However, this was usually seen in purely work-related matters. She had the feeling that few of them really knew him. She wanted to believe that she was some kind of exception. She never forgot how one of the first days no one could complete the obstacle course. They were the only ones who stayed longer to try again. Once during an exam, the boy made a wrong turn and almost hit broken equipment. Maybe he could save himself from the sharpened rod, maybe he wouldn't — it was hard to tell how well his tired body could handle it. Then [Reader] appeared out of nowhere, pulling him up. For a long time he couldn't believe that she had messed up her almost perfect score to help him. Since then, they started talking to each other. Sometimes the girl thought about whether what was between them was still friendship or whether the boundary had been crossed. The answer never came and in her senior year the relationship faded as [Reader] changed her career path. Which didn't change the fact that it was still really nice to see him, even from time to time. They usually worked far from each other, in different parts of the country. However, there were joint missions like this one.

— There should be some left around here. — [Reader] started rummaging through her old-fashioned purse. — Butter peanuts. I think you'll like them. 

— Thanks! — The little girl's beaming face let her know that she must really like this delicacy. 

The man immediately realized what was going on. It was a packet of [Reader]'s favorite flavour. She had carried at least one with her since her student days. It wasn't for sale. He tilted his head slightly, as if scolding her for spoiling the child and giving away her things. 

— Today's special edition. — [Reader] pulled out a newspaper from under the counter. 

She gently tapped her fingers against its surface and if it weren't for her mind reading, Anya would never have realized she was conveying a secret message: 

— Half of the answers to the exam. You have to wait for the rest — the woman spelled in her mind.

The girl stuffed peanuts into her mouth, feeling mounting excitement. It may not have been exactly shooting with a gun but she was involved in some real spy work. Almost like in Spy Wars! 

— You should visit us for afternoon tea sometime. Preferably as soon as possible. Maybe this week? — Forger handed Anya a tissue to wipe her mouth. 

— I have a lot of things to do but I'll see what I can do. — She looked at him uncertainly. 

— I don't know if I can get these answers that quickly — she tapped with her fingernail again.

— It's not about the mission. We didn't see for a long time — he tapped. 

She stared at the shelves, trying to keep her face neutral. She thought her feelings had faded after so long. So why was she so happy about this invitation? The answer led to only one conclusion: forgetting didn't work out at all. Maybe it would be easier to get over it if he changed or was less handsome. Meanwhile, she had the impression that he was still the same. Every time she saw him. 

— We should go now. — Loid grabbed the little hand sticky from all of the nuts. — Goodbye. — He bowed and put on his hat. 

Before leaving, he gave [Reader] a second longer look than he should have. He looked like he wanted to say something but then he looked at the baby and decided against it. He took Anya in his arms. 

— Bye Bye! — The girl waved as she left the store.

She felt like sleeping almost immediately. She rubbed her tired eyes. It was a day full of new surprises. She didn't have time to take a nap. She cuddled up to her dad. On the border between wakefulness and sleep, she sometimes heard people even when she didn't want to. This time it wasn't different:

— How long do I have to wait for the tram... 

— How boring this job is... 

— Damn! Attack? Right now? 

This last thought, picked out from a sea of others, successfully woke her up. She strained her mind, trying to figure out where it was coming from. She was horrified to discover that the chaotic words were coming from the building at the end of the street they had just left. She felt panic. How was she supposed to let anyone know what was going on? 

— Just a moment and it will be over. We must have these documents. — The unfamiliar voice sounded menacing, echoing in her head. 

— I want peanutz! — she blurted out as loudly as she could. 

Loid looked at her, raising an eyebrow. 

— You just ate the whole package. If you're hungry, I'll buy you dinner. 

— No no no. — She stamped her foot. — Peanutz! — She turned her head towards the kiosk, as if that would help her figure out whether the informant was still alive. 

— Listen. — The man crouched down, lowering himself to her eye level. — Too much sweets is harmful to children... 

— Anya wants peanutz now! — she shouted louder than last time. And she did something she saw from other children on the street. Every time they wanted something very much, they took a deep breath and started crying. She followed their example, attracting the attention of all passersby. 

She didn't feel well with her snotty nose and face covered in tears. That's why she was happy when she got a handkerchief. 

— Okay, okay. We'll buy them on the way home, how about this? — Forger asked conciliatingly. 

— NO. Butter peanutz from an old lady! — Saying this, she pulled Loid by the sleeve towards the kiosk.

The man sighed heavily. He knew perfectly well that [Reader] had no more packages. However, he was fed up with the glances given to him by random passers-by. So he let the little girl guide him to stop her from crying, at least for a moment. 

He didn't expect what he saw in the store when he crossed the threshold again that day. Anya probably didn't either because she stood there like a pillar of salt, staring at the man behind the counter. He stared at the store owner. [Reader] must have lost her wig in the heat of battle. A fresh scar marred his cheek. She must have been hit hard. She dropped her old lady cover, pointing her gun at her attacker. Someone else's muffled voice came from behind the door of the small storage room. He probably had a gag on his mouth. 

[Reader] glanced back quickly. She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw Twilight. 

— I thought I'd have to shoot this guy. How could I get two people out of here alive without blowing the cover? 

— We came for nuts. We didn't want to disturb your game of thieves — Loid said, trying to save the day. The little girl couldn't have known that she was a spy. This could ruin the entire mission. 

— If only Anya wouldn't find out... 

The girl gave him a quick glance. Now she had to act a little stupid. 

— Are you playing robbery? Anya wants to play too. Can I have a gun? 

— Of course! And in the meantime I'll take care of the second evil guy, what do you say? — suggested the woman. 

— Great! — said the little girl, taking over the weapon. — Handz up!

The attacker looked at her as if he wanted to say something but eventually closed his mouth. 

It was like a Bondman action movie. She felt herself almost shaking with excitement. Of course, she had to pretend she didn't know what was going on but it was still like in her favourite series. She wasn't disappointed with her dad. She knew from the beginning that if she allowed him to be adopted, sooner or later she would experience his dream. 

Twilight gave [Reader] a slightly horrified look until her lips moved in silent communication: 

— Fake gun. 

Immediately after, she opened the glove compartment, revealing a slightly injured man. The agent wasted no time in dialing the agency's number. Someone had to come and get them as quickly as possible. Considering he made the call as part of Operation Strix, the staff needed to get here as quickly as they could. It wouldn't be so easy for an informant to quietly take out these two enemies. Especially still living.

He stepped deeper into the closet and looked at the man with a critical eye. He made sure no one was looking at him and then hit him with a right hook. A soft moan was effectively muffled by the gag. 

— This is for [Reader] — he whispered towards the already unconscious person. Afterwards, he straightened his suit and joined Anya as if nothing had happened.

— I went to check the back room but [Reader] doesn't have any more nuts — he said, taking the gun from his daughter. 

— What nuts... — began the girl, who had completely forgotten why she supposedly came here. — I mean... That's a realz pityyy. We will buy in different store. 

— We have to go. Say goodbye nicely. 

— You're great! — Anya quickly ran to [Reader] and wrapped her arms around her waist. — Can we play like this again sometime? 

— Sure — the woman replied, smiling slightly. She hugged the little girl tightly, watching as Twilight knocked out the guy she had been holding at fake gunpoint with one punch. — I'll come over for tea sometime. And I'll definitely bring some butter peanuts...

[maskedemerald]

Weaving Webs CH8

Here is chapter eight of my Invisobang fic! Almost done with the editing so by Friday the whole fic should be up!

The wonderful @pricklenettle did some fantastic art that you'll see embedded through out the first half of the fic so if you haven't seen it go check out their blog now!

You can check out the fic here or on AO3!

If you like this consider dropping us both a follow!

Warnings: Body horror, manipulation, Spectra is her own content warning, Burns, Spider - for like 2 chapters then it goes away.

The Fenton parents were there when the accident happened, they saw Danny die in an act of sabotage. Now they’re just trying to go on with the strange ghost that is all that's left of Danny. While their old college friend is wondering where the subjects of his revenge are.

[First] [Previous] [Next]

Chapter Eight

Jazz paused in front school, she took a deep breath. She needed to steel herself. Since the moment she had gotten out of her car, eyes had been on her. Gossip was flying around her, even when she couldn’t hear them. Almost a month gone, of course it was going to draw attention.

She eventually forced herself to walk in, making a b-line for the school office. She didn’t know what her parents had told the school about what happened but she knew that it was protocol to have a return meeting after such an event. They’d be putting things in place to support her. They’d arrange sessions with the school counselor.

“Jasmine? It's good to have you back. Should we be expecting Daniel soon too?” the secretary said looking up.

Jazz froze, tears pricking at her eyes. They were expecting Danny. They didn’t know. Her parents hadn’t said. What had they even said? Did the school even know there had been an accident. That realistically Jazz needed to talk with the counselor.

“Jasmine? Are you alright?”

She was crying, Jazz blinked away tears. “I… I don’t know.”

“That’s okay dear. He can come back when he’s ready. I was told to give you a light schedule today and to see Mr Lancer for some catch up work. Do you want me to sign you up to speak with the counselor?”

“Please.” Jazz didn’t know how it was going to work when they didn’t know but she still needed it.

“Okay, take it easy today Jasmine. If you need a break then take it.”

“Right.”

Jazz breathed deeply to settle her nerves once outside the office. It was worse heading to class. People asking how she was, how Danny was and she couldn’t answer. Not truthfully. She got through one class before having to slip into the library for most of the rest of the day.

It was there that Mr Lancer found her.

“I won’t bother you for long. I know it's been a hard day. I have a couple of work packs for you and Daniel. Take your time with them though. No need if you’re not up to it.” He said sliding two folders across the table.

“Right… thank you…. I don’t know how much he’ll manage…” She said, awkwardly trying to explain while knowing that she can’t say anything.

What could she even say? What would happen if she said Danny was dead? Would they understand he was a ghost? What would happen to their parents? It wasn’t a good look to have not reported it.

“However much he can do is fine at the moment.” He reassured. “Maybe go home for the rest of the day, I’ll sign you out.”

“Thank you.”

She slammed the front door behind her.

“Hey Jazzy! What’s wrong? Had a bad day?” her Dad asked getting up from the sofa.

“Bad day? Bad day? Everyone kept asking about Danny! They didn’t even know he was… Why didn’t you tell them what happened!” She snapped.

“We couldn’t,” her Mom insisted.

“Why, he’s dead. Just because his ghost is still around doesn’t mean we can pretend nothing happened. They’re expecting him back at school. How’s he supposed to do that? Sooner or later they are going to notice he’s not coming back.”

“We’ll withdraw him. Say he needs special care?” Jack suggested.

“We can’t just isolate him. He needs some sort of normal. Maybe at least have Sam and Tucker…” the lights flickered at the names. She couldn’t see him but it was clear he was listening. The fact that he remembered his friends meant he needed to see them even more.

“We can’t… if people find out we risk losing what’s left of him.” her Mom defended.

“What are they going to do? He can literally go through things.”

“It's not that simple Jazz, there are people out there that will take him if they find out he’s here. People we’ve supplied. We know how they think… how we thought. They won’t understand that this is different because they don’t know Danny.” Her Mom explained, a guilty look on her face.

Jazz dropped into the seat outside the counselor’s office, her head already turning over what she was going to say. What she couldn’t say. One wrong move and she’d loose Danny. Still she needed help. They all did. Psychologically it had to be damaging to not be able to grieve properly. Danny was still there but he was different. He needed it too. She’d have to help him but her books didn’t really go into how to give therapy to your dead brother’s ghost. She couldn’t even ask about it hypothetically!

“Ah and you must be Jasmine!” Dr Spectra greeted her with a chipper tone.

Jazz plastered on her best coping smile, she knew it was shaky and fragile. She was fairly certain Dr Spectra saw right through her.

“Yes, that's me.”

“Come on in and we’ll get started,” she let Jazz into the office and paused by the thermostat dial to turn it down, “I hope you don’t mind the cold too much. I find it helps keep the mind sharp.”

“Oh um that’s fine,” she was used to the cold by now. Danny was cold. Being around Danny was cold. She was sure they were using more energy at home just to counteract the chill he produced.

Dr Spectra sat on the desk and gestured for Jazz to take a seat. She sat and looked up at Dr Spectra, still not sure what she was going to say at all.

“So where shall we start? I hear there was an incident at home?” Dr Spectra said with a pitying look. Or was that just the angle.

Jazz nodded, “there was an… accident, Danny… he got hurt,” hurt was an understatement, accident was also an understatement. She didn’t know if her parents had noticed that she had overheard them talking about that.

“Oh the poor dear, and who do you think is responsible for that?” There was something about the tone that just raised Jazz’s hackles.

Or maybe that was just her making assumptions. Jazz was probably reading in the accusation. Dr Spectra probably thought Jazz blamed herself. That was a normal problem according to her books.

“Responsible? I don’t blame myself if that’s what you’re asking,” she replied, cutting off the avenue of questioning. That wasn’t the help she needed. She wished that she could just ask for the help she needed.

Help coping with loss and the complication of Danny still being there. Even if she could say something without getting her parents into trouble for not reporting what happened to Danny how would anyone believe that he was really still around as a ghost. Well without seeing him for themselves but she didn’t think Danny was ready for strangers yet. And that wasn’t considering her parents' employers who might take him away.

“Accident implies mistake, someone had to make one,” Dr Spectra pushed.

She probably thought Jazz was lying. Being cagey about her feelings of guilt. She was avoiding saying too much so didn’t blame Dr Spectra for having that deduction. She wished she could just be honest.

Once she was home she settled at the kitchen table, it was a fight to get Danny to join her. Jazz flicked through the work packet for Danny, she glanced over to him where his glass face chewed on the old phone that he had been given to help him communicate. The thing had been bricked the moment it was in his hands. It was her old one. It at least still crackled out his speech.

She frowned, she wasn’t sure if he could handle it. His comprehension had not been good. Her parents said that not a lot of knowledge would have been copied over. That it would have been more emotional than actual memories. He could listen and talk but he didn’t really understand the point. What was the point when he wasn’t going to get any older?

She shook her head. She wasn’t helping thinking like that. Just because he was different and wouldn’t get older that didn’t mean he couldn’t benefit from learning. And maybe this would help him reach a sort of normal. Jazz tapped the table again drawing Danny’s attention back to the worksheet.

“How is Danny doing? I hear he hasn’t been getting through those homework packets Mr Lancer put so much effort into,” Dr Spectra asked as she settled into her seat and picked up her notepad.

“He’s managing, focusing on school work is hard for him right now,” Jazz explained.

It was as close to the truth as she could get, though it was frustrating that she wasn’t able to get Danny the help he needed to get through it.

“Oh? Maybe you should be helping him more?”

“I’ve been helping him every night,” Jazz insisted, maybe a little sharply.

She took a deep breath, Dr Spectra was just trying to help. She didn’t know how bad Danny’s situation was. She didn’t know how hard helping him was. How hard it was to keep him focused, especially once it got dark. Jazz many times had to drag him from the roof. He still loved the stars, she was grateful that he hadn’t gone any higher than the roof.

“If you worked harder he would be coping better.”

That hurt. Both of them were trying their best.

“Your parents are scientists, right?” Dr Spectra asked as she flicked through her notes.

“Yes, they are.” Jazz replied wondering where she was going with this.

“Where do they work?” She looked down at her, the question curious.

“Oh in the basement actually. They have a lab down there,” It wasn’t like it was a secret. Pretty much common knowledge. She’d be able to find out with just a question to pretty much any of the teachers.

“Isn’t that a bit reckless of them?” She didn’t look surprised, “not exactly the safest thing. Oh and poor Danny’s accident was down there, right? Honestly, good parents should be more careful.”

Jazz frowned, did she already know. What was she even trying to do? Did she still think Jazz blamed them and was just trying to get an admission before trying to help her through it? Dr Spectra was the expert, no matter how irritating, she had to know what she was doing. Maybe it wasn’t Dr Spectra, maybe it was the fact that Jazz couldn’t tell her the truth of what happened. How could she really know how to help if Jazz kept lying?

“It wasn’t their fault,” Jazz insisted.

Dr Spectra raised an eyebrow, “really? I doubt they had nothing to do with it. All the staff have been talking about it. They say your father isn’t exactly the smartest man.”

Jazz saw red. Her Dad wasn’t stupid. Easily distracted, yes but not stupid. He knew how to manage his distractions. He wasn’t a danger in the lab. She’d seen the safety level in the lab, the only reason the incident had happened was sabotage.

“He’s not stupid! It wasn’t his fault!” She yelled.

“Oh dear, Jasmine breathe. I didn’t say he was stupid, though it can’t be easy with others thinking that. Thinking that it was his fault,” Dr Spectra soothed her hands up.

Had Jazz misunderstood. Had she really only been bringing up a rumor that she thought Jazz might have heard to try and deal with the hurt from it. Surely she could have phrased that better.

“If that bothered you so much I can’t imagine how you’d feel about what they are saying about little Danny,” it was so off hand.

Jazz scowled, anger still simmering, “what are they saying?” she shouldn’t even be humoring this. It was terrible counseling. Dr Spectra shouldn’t be bringing this up unprompted but she had to know what they were saying about Danny. Danny didn’t deserve anyone talking crap about him.

“Oh I shouldn’t…” she didn’t linger long, “however, surely Danny shouldn’t have been playing around down there. Not the smartest thing to be doing but then again teenage boys will be teenage boys.”

“Danny wasn’t playing around! He was helping them, he’s been studying with them for years,” Jazz snapped.

“And they agreed? You didn’t stop them? Surely you would know that’s not safe. I thought you had more sense than that,” Dr Spectra looked at her with a pointed look.

Jazz’s eye twitched, “MY parents knew what they were doing! Danny knew what he was doing! It wasn’t either of their faults!”

“Maybe you distracted them? Him even? You do talk a lot,” Spectra needled.

“I… I wasn’t even down there!” Jazz gave an exasperated shout.

“If you’d been down there maybe he wouldn’t have gotten hurt,” Spectra said not even looking fazed by the shouting.

Jazz stood sharply not even caring that the chair clattered to the floor, “that’s it, we’re done! I’m sick of this. I don’t know what your goal is ‘Dr’ but it sure isn’t helping.”

“Jasmine? What are you talking about? I’m here to help,” Spectra hopped to her feet with a clack of her heels.

“Then you’re not very good at your job,” Jazz bit as she slammed the door behind her.

She stormed through the corridor, each step an echoing stomp through quiet after school halls. That woman was completely unprofessional. A counselor wasn’t meant to behave like that. At first she thought she was just misunderstanding ‘Dr’ Spectra’s methods but now it just seemed like the woman just wanted to kick her down further instead of lifting her up. Was she even a qualified doctor?

By the time she reached her locker to grab her bag tears of anger were streaming hot down her face. A strangely welcome change from the grief based tears that she had been dealing with so much. She was looking forward to the safety of her car to calm down before driving home. She slammed her locker door.

“Hey Jazz, wait up!” she flinched at the sound of Tucker’s voice.

She couldn’t face them, not now. She hated lying to them. They were Danny’s friends, he needed them but she couldn’t. How did someone even tell someone else that their friend was dead but not. She kept going, trying to ignore the hastening footsteps squeaking on the laminate.

“Jazz! Stop avoiding us! You can’t keep doing this!” Sam snapped, grabbing her shoulder and forcing her to turn round.

“Yeah we just want to know how…” Tucker trailed off, “Jazz, you alright? Did something happen? Danny’s okay, right?”

Jazz looked down, she couldn’t look him in the eyes, “I’m… fine…” she winced, that was a Danny line, “he’s fine, just a bad session with Spectra.”

“Ugh, shrinks,” Sam rolled her eyes, “they’re all a bunch of quacks.”

“Maybe we should walk with you to your car to make sure you’re okay,” Tucker started and then quickly finished, “and then we can come over and see Danny.”

Jazz had been about to say yes. She’d wanted the company. She paused, her mouth open. He’d been trying to trick her into agreeing to something she’d been avoiding. She didn’t have any right to be angry at him. He was trying to trick her, badly she might add and meanwhile she was lying to them and avoiding the Danny situation.

“Sorry… you can’t… he’s not up to…” she awkwardly tried to brush them off.

“No! I’m sick of hearing that! That’s what your parents keep saying. I want to hear it from him,”  Sam shouted.

“Sam…” Tucker started.

“No! I don’t care how upset she is Tucker! She’s not the only one dealing with all this! What about Danny? He’s not answering his phone! He could at least text or call!”

“He can’t, his phone broke,” it was the only thing that was easy to say. Easy because she wasn’t exactly lying to them. Broken was an understatement. It had burnt up in the portal along with everything else.

“It's been almost a month Jazz, he can get another phone! Hell I’ll buy him one if he just uses it!” Sam pulled down the weak excuse, “you can’t keep doing this, all of you. I want to see Danny and if you don’t do something I’ll find my own way!”

“I… I’ll see what I can do,” Jazz surrendered, she doubted her parents would agree but Danny needed some sort of normal and she couldn’t let Sam and Tucker face this without some warning.

[First] [Previous] [Next]

[novaksupremacy]

The Veiled Law of Affection- Chapter 6

had the day off so I popped out another one for you :)

The Veiled Law of Affection-Chapter 6

Word Count: 6358

Casey Novak x Olivia Benson

by PKJ @novaksupremacy

Based on the events surrounding S5 E24 "Poison", little bit of smut, lots of mushy angsty schtuff, sibling arguments, one of my favorite Casey episodes.

Read Part 5

“Look you’re making a mistake!” The woman shouted in the interrogation room. As it stood, she was accused of poisoning her adopted daughter. They had learned from her other little girl that she made the poor child stand in the corner with a sponge full of detergent in her mouth. As if that wasn’t bad enough the girl’s hospital visit was delayed by hours, causing sever detriment from the poisoning. Her husband’s sister had also spoken to Benson and Stabler about the many red flags pertaining to her parenting skills.

“Not according to your sister-in-law,” Olivia barked.

The woman scoffed, “Wendy never liked me you can’t listen to her!”

Elliot raised his voice, “Can we listen to your other daughter, Katie, Mrs. Campbell?”

Her attorney Gates laughed, “Sure, because seven-year-olds are so reliable. Tomorrow, she’ll tell you a pony with wings lives in her closet.”

Stabler was fuming at this point, “So Katie made the whole thing up, right? How you shoved a sponge of soapy water into Alexis’ mouth while she gagged and cried! Made her stand in a corner, counting, until she collapsed!”

“I feel terrible that I wasn’t paying close enough attention!” Karen Campbell started shouting, “But I can’t possibly be everywhere at once! I have FOUR children! I am a good mother!

Munch and Fin had Mr. Campbell in the other interrogation room at the same time.

“Why don’t you believe me?” the man leaned against the window, arms folded.

“We do, that’s why you’re not under arrest Munch said flatly.

“My wife did nothing wrong!”

“You couldn’t know what your wife did. You were gone all day.” Fin said more questioning than matter of fact.

“I told you when I got home Alexis had stopped breathing and Karen was hysterical. If we wanted to poison Alexis, what would we bring her to the hospital at all?”

John snapped at him, “Actually I’m more interested in why your wife does the things she does. Like berate and emotionally abuse your adopted daughter.”

“That’s a lie!”

“You callin’ your sister a liar? She says Karen treats that girl worse than a dog!” Fin retorted.

                As Liv and Elliot came out of the interrogation room, they found Agent Huang and Casey waiting for them in the bullpen.

                “The emergency room said they pumped two cups of detergent out of Alexis’ stomach.” Huang stated as they walked up.

                Elliot shook his head in disgust, “Mrs. Campbells accident story is a bunch of crap! No kid is gonna drink two cups of that stuff willingly.”

                “What about the dear old dad?” Liv interjected. “He had to know that his wife hated that kid.”

                Casey sighed, “he wasn’t home so criminally he’s not responsible.”

                “We got the mother right?” Elliot asked, agitated by the situation.

                “How’s the seven-year-old?” The redhead questioned, she knew Elliot was good at his job, but she still had to do hers.

                “Solid.”

                “No chance you influenced her statement?” She didn’t want to ask but she had to.

                “None, counselor. I’ve been doing this a little bit longer than you,” the detective said back his tone less then amiable.

                Casey tilted her head, she hated that El took things so personally. “Just making sure we’re covered, children under nine aren’t automatically swearable.”

                “I can talk to her,” Huang offered, “If she knows the difference between a lie and the truth then she can testify.” Casey nodded as a show of gratitude.

                “Hey Detective Benson, while you’re waiting, I have some paperwork for you in my office that I’ve been meaning to give you.” Casey tossed out nonchalantly.

                “Sure, I’ve got a few minutes.” Liv nodded, her hands in her pockets. “After you Counselor.”

The brunette tailed on the heels of the ADA as they headed down the hall. Huang couldn’t help but snicker as they walked away. “It’s ridiculous that they’re still making excuses at this point. We pretty much all know what that was about.”

“Guess Daddy wants a little midnight snack, you know what I’m sayin’?” Fin nudged the FBI agent in his rib.

Elliot snorted into his coffee, “What?” He laughed so hard he choked on some of the hot liquid. “Who wants a what?”

Fin was laughing “Oh you haven’t had the pleasure of hearing that exchange yet? Imma let you experience that on ya own.”

Munch walked over with a cup of coffee in his hand, “What, what’s so funny what did I miss?” Everyone just shook their heads and assure him it was nothing. “You know this doesn’t make me believe in the conspiracy that everyone’s working against me, any less. If anything, you, you’re just adding fuel to the fire.”

Casey shut the door to her office and locked it, closing the blinds tight.

Liv rubbed her eyes, “Case, I gotta tell you baby, I’m exhausted.”

“I know,” Casey kissed her gently and rubbed her shoulders then steered the detective towards the couch. “I figured my couch was more comfortable than the crib.” She kicked off her heeled boots and made room for Liv to come join her. “Plus, this way I get to hold you, and the door is locked so you won’t get startled.”

Liv crawled over her girlfriend and wedged herself between her and the back of the couch, wrapping her arm and leg around her, squeezing tight. She was exhausted, they had been up since the night before with this case, but Captain wasn’t letting anyone go home until they made some headway on this. Casey reached over the brunette and pulled the blanket down off the back of the couch and covered them with it. She laid soft strokes up and down Liv’s arm with the tips of fingers and pressed her lips to her forehead and held them there for a moment before she kissed lightly and then pressed her cheek against the side of the detectives head and pulled her close. She could feel Liv’s breathing shift indicating that she had fallen asleep. The attorney watched her girlfriend’s chest rise and fall, she looked so peaceful.

“I love you, Olivia.” Casey whispered and kissed her head again. “I wish I could tell you.” Every second spent with Olivia was the happiest moment of her life, even when it wasn’t. Even when it was sad, or upsetting, or the case was spiraling out of control, all she had to do was look at Liv and feel at ease. That was the first time she ever said it out loud, not that her lover heard her. She wouldn’t dare say it then. Everything was going so good, she didn’t want to fuck it up. She dozed off alongside the brunette detective.

Casey stirred about an hour later to Liv kissing her neck. She grinned and stretched, giving the detective more access to her neck. “Mmm I should let you nap in my office more often.”

“Mmm, yes, very refreshing. Better than a cup of coffee.” The brunette smiled as she planted a long tender kiss on her girlfriend.

Casey brought her hand up to cup Liv’s face and deepened the kiss. She let out a sigh as she felt the detective slip her hand down below her waistline. “Babe.” A smile that could only be described as one of pleasure creeped across her face, “we can’t.” The redhead let out another soft sigh and a light moan as Liv continued to tease her. She grabbed her lover’s wrist and looked her square in the eye, “I need you to either fuck me right now or stop what you’re doing.”

“Gladly,” the detective hummed and pulled the ADA underneath her.

                Casey sat up on couch and slid her boots back on as she watched Olivia tighten her belt and adjust her watch.

                “What?” Liv looked up as she was fastening her sleeve buttons, “Did I miss a belt loop or something?” She looked down.

                The younger woman shook her head, her cheeks getting red, even still Liv gave her butterflies. “No,” she said breathlessly, “you’re just beautiful.”

                The brunette leaned over Casey on the couch and kissed her, biting her lip softly before pulling back to meet her gaze, “You’ve pretty stunning yourself, Counselor.” She lingered for a minute before heading towards the door, looking back at her girlfriend one last time before turning the handle. The detective continued to fumble with the buttons on her shirt as she walked out almost walking straight into Munch.

                “Olivia,” the startled detective smiled, “what happened spilled something on your shirt?”

                Realizing she was still half unbuttoned pulled her shirt closed with her fist, “Uhm yea, something like that. I got it out though.” Liv shifted nervously, “Going see Casey? I gotta get back to work.” She motioned the thumb of her free hand back towards her desk.

                “Be careful, Detective. The coffee machine’s on the fritz and looks like your shirt can’t take another hit.” He called out, pointing with the folder in his hand as Liv kept walking. He knocked on the ADAs door.

                “Come in,” Casey called out, “Hey John!” she smiled as he walked through the door, “what’ve you got?”

                “Hey Casey, I just have Huang’s report for you to file before you go to the judge.” Munch walked forward and handed her the file. “Ouch, counselor I don’t think the vanity is worth it. Besides your hair looks nice curly. Platonically speaking of course—you’re not my type.” He straightened his tie.

                The redhead looked at him baffled, “John, I’m not following.” She chuckled. “Did you break into the evidence locker?”

                “Oh,” he waved his hand at her and then motioned to his own neck, “the burn, from your straightener. Looks like it hurts.”

                Casey clasped her hand over her neck and leaned on her elbow. “Huh, yeah, well you know. Lack of sleep.” She chuckled nervously.

                “Do me a favor, don’t operate any heavy machinery.” Munch gave a mock salute and walked out.

                “I deserved that,” Casey muttered under her breath after he left, “payback is a girlfriend with a hickey.”

*******

                “Their seven-year-old daughter? That sounds a bit imprudent.” Judge Taft said as Casey and Gates followed him down the hall.

                “Rittenhouse v. North Hempstead found a three-year-old wasn’t automatically presumed incompetent to testify.” Casey argued.

                “Ah, but you’re in my court now.” Taft’s voice dripping with self-importance.

                “And another case disqualified a seven-year-old witness. It’s completely subjective.” Quipped Gates.

                “Which is why,” Casey was growing impatient, “a psychiatrist examined Katie Campbell and that she understands her duty to tell the truth.”

                “I’m sure the people won't mind if I determine that myself.” Taft stated, his grin was sickening.

                “That’s not necessary Your Honor.” The ADA shook her head, assuring her the proper procedure had been followed.

                “But again, it’s in my court.”

*******

                Olivia stood over the stove stirring the cast iron while Casey stood at the counter furiously chopping up a bell pepper.

                “And then, THEN,” she was practically slamming the knife against the cutting board, “he told me that I needed to dress appropriately.” She stopped chopping and turned towards her girlfriend.

                Liv stopped stirring and turned to look at her girlfriend up and down. “What do you mean appropriately? That suit is perfectly tailored?”

                He said, “By appropriately, I mean in a skirt.” She was swinging her chopping hand as she spoke.

                “Woah, woah, why don’t we put that down.” She carefully clasped the redhead’s wrist between her hands and slid the knife away from Casey as if she were disarming a suspect.

                “Sorry, that’s probably best. I might hurt myself, you know like how I burned myself with my straightener this morning?” her tone shifted to mockingly accusatory and flipped her hair away from her shoulder.

                The brunette gasped, “Jesus baby I’m sorry! I didn’t think it would be that bad, I was just trying to get you back for the one you gave me the day of that softball game.” She chuckled.

                Casey mocked her laugh making a goofy face at her. “Hilarious babe,” she tossed a mushroom at her, “Especially when I had to have it pointed out by Munch! Who by the way is the only one still in the dark about us, totally clueless.”

                The detective wrapped her arms around her girlfriend’s waist and leaned into her propping her head up on her shoulder. “I’m sorry Taft is being such a misogynist,” she tightened her hold, “You’re gonna kick ass in court.” She kissed her neck.

                “Ahh, hey!” the redhead swatted playfully at her and pulled her head to the side, “You’ve done enough damage for one day, Detective.” She giggled and leaned her head back to kiss Liv enthusiastically.

*******

                “Its open!” Casey called out, pouring more whiskey into her glass as Liv walked in the door.   

                “Swearability hearing went that badly huh?” the detective furrowed her brow, worried to find her girlfriend drinking alone on the couch.

                “Worse. He basically told me I embarrassed myself and shouldn’t brag about my lack of intellect.” The redhead put the bottle down and waved her hand in its general direction, “Don’t worry I don’t plan on making a habit out of it.”

                The brunette dropped the takeout down on the counter and dropped down next to Casey on the couch, “Well that’s a relief.” She motioned for Casey to swing her legs up over her. She slid the redheads boots off and dropped them to the floor. “Still, I’m sorry that he’s being such an ass.” Liv started to massage the counselor’s feet. “Elliot told me he’s gotta testify that he didn’t coerce her.”                

                The ADA took a swig of her drink and threw her head back, “Uggh Liv, why are you so good at that?”

                The brunette grinned, “I’m just, good with my hands.”

                Casey quirked her brow, letting out a low moan, “Mmm, that you are Detective, that you are.” She opened one eye to look at her girlfriend who was looking at her adoringly, “I see the way you’re looking at me.” She closed her eyes again.

                “Oh yeah and how’s that?” Liv chuckled, continuing to massage, working out a particularly difficult knot.

                The redhead smacked the couch and let out a moan, “Ohhhh, G-d that feels good. You’re spoiling me.” She peaked her eye open again, “And you’re looking at me the way you look at a container of honey chicken, hungry.”

                “Is that so?” The brunette smirked, “I mean cause I have honey chicken over there on the counter…”

                “You could have me on the counter,” Casey bit her lip.

                “Why would I do that,” Liv paused, the ADA picked her head up, the brunette was waiting for her shocked reaction before continuing, “when I can have you right here on the sofa.” She got a good grip on her thighs and pulled Casey down the couch to her.

                Casey squealed, “Babe, my drink!” she quickly dropped the glass to the coffee table, laughing. The detective was already pulling the attorney’s jeans down around her ankles and tossing them in the corner next to a pile of law journals.

                The brunette pulled Casey up to her to kiss her longingly, she could taste the whiskey on her tongue mixed with desire. The redhead moaned and then broke the kiss to catch her breath. “You kill me detective,” her eyes glistened, staring into Liv’s. She pressed a light kiss to her lips, “little deaths.” She sighed. She kissed her hard, running her fingers down the side of the brunette’s face. She allowed herself to fall back onto the couch pulling the cop down on top her, unbuttoning Liv’s shirt button by button.

*******

                Elliot sat in the witness box during the Hudy hearing ordered by Judge Taft. He swore that there was no influence on Katie’s statement and that the girl introduced her mother to the conversation without any prompting. Gates accused him of having a vendetta against Karen Campbell for comments taken out context. Upon stepping down from the witness box, Elliot started to walk away as Taft went ahead and ruled the testimony inadmissible.

                “This is a joke,” Elliot scoffed as he headed towards the back of the courtroom.

                “I beg your pardon, Detective Stabler,” Taft asked sternly?

                “I said this is a joke!” The detective turned back towards the judge.

                “You’d be wise to remember no one cares what you think, once you leave that box.” Taft’s words fell pointedly.

                “That interview wasn’t suggestive,” Elliot muttered walking back towards the bench.

                “Elliot, stop.” Casey raised her voice.

                He continued, “You’re just one of these judges that think cops strong arm witnesses just to make a case. What you think I just bullied a seven-year-old into lying?” He turned to walk away again.

                “Elliot, leave!” Casey commanded, she was trying to protect him and not blow her case at the same time.

                “No Elliot stay,” Taft scoffed, “You’re in contempt.”

                Casey went down to the holding cells to check on her friend, “You alright?”

                “Yeah great, thanks for getting me a couple hours off.” He said sarcastically.

                The redhead laughed incredulously, “You are not blaming this on me.”

                “Well, you did let that defense attorney trash me pretty good in court.”

                The ADA threw her hand up in protest, “Yeah and that stunt you pulled. That’s gonna ensure Taft screws me at trial but hey at least you still have your ego, right?”

                “You bail me out to talk about my ego?” the detective quipped back at her.

                “I did not get you out of there!” Casey rolled her eyes.

                “I called in a favor,” Mary Clark stared at the two of them, arms folded, “The contempt citation is withdrawn. So, if you could possibly stop acting like a petulant child.” She turned her attention to the young attorney, “And you, you need to start playing nice with Oliver Taft.”

                Stabler looked back at Casey, “And you’re worried about my ego. This guy abuses his power and gets away with it.”

                Mary cut him off, “You didn’t help anybody by mouthing off to the trial judge.” She looked back at her protégé, “This isn’t law school Casey, pick your battles. Winning is more important than wearing a skirt.”

*******

                Liv and Casey were lying in bed, the redhead snuggled up in the detective’s arms, staring out into space. The brunette stroked her back, “I can’t believe you asked Taft to recuse himself.”

                “I really fucked myself this time I think.” The anxiety in Casey’s voice was clear. “Why did I do that?”

                “Baby, you did it because you knew it was the right thing. That judge is never going to be impartial and was never going to get justice for that little girl.”

                “He still won’t,” Casey sat up, crossing her legs, and facing her girlfriend. “All I’ve done is ensure that he hates me and will do everything to make sure that I have a hard time prosecuting this case.”

                “What did Mary say?”

                The redhead sighed, “She said I was insane for asking an ego maniac to recuse himself and all I did was make myself an enemy.”

                “What are you gonna do?” Liv followed suit and sat up, taking the ADAs hand to comfort her, “It’s not like you can get him thrown off the bench.”

                “Maybe I can…”

******

                Elliot chased Casey down as she headed to court, “Hey I think I’ve got something that even Taft can’t ignore.”

                She furrowed her brow at him, “What is it?”

                “The records from the adoption agency the Campbells used. They tried to give Alexis back.”

                The redhead nearly fell out, “What? When?”

                “February of this year, only 6 months after her adoption. Wouldn’t hurt her my ass, that’s such bull.”

                The ADA smirked knowing Elliot may have found her a smoking gun.

*****

                It was no use even with the mountain of evidence, Taft’s bias completely controlled the courtroom as he acquitted Karen Campbell. Casey felt so defeated as she walked out of the courthouse, if it was a fair fight, maybe she would’ve felt better about losing. She walked over to Elliot.

                “I’m sorry,” she frowned and tapped him with her briefcase.

                “Don’t be, I know you went to the mat on this one. Sometimes it just doesn’t work out.” His hands shoved deep into the pockets of his trench coat.

                “I want Taft off the bench.” She looked Elliot square in the eye.

                Elliot ran his hand down her arm, “and I want a ’65 stingray.” He said consolingly.

                “I’m serious,” she said as the detective had turned to walk away, “I’m going after him.”

                “Casey,” he exhaled, “It’s not worth it, what good does it do, to kill your career?”

                “If this is justice, I don’t want this career.”

                The detective looked at her concerned, “I’m just worried about you putting yourself in a bad position, I’d hate to see you get dragged down because of this bastard.” He grinned, “Besides who’s going to play softball with me when they fire your ass.” He punched her arm playfully.

*****

                Liv was zoned out at her desk working on DD-5s, the background noise of Munch spewing conspiracies at Fin and Cragen practically lulling her to sleep. She was nodding off halfway through a sentence when she felt a presence next to her desk, “Elliot for the last time I do not want a dirty water dog for lunch today.”

                “I’m not gonna ask why Elliot has asked you that more than once today.” Casey joked.

                The detective’s ears perked up and she leaned her head to the side, looking at the tall, gorgeous litigator leaning up against her desk. “Hey Da—DA Novak. ADA Casey. Hey Casey, what’s up?” Liv was about twenty shades of blushing after almost letting that nickname slip at the office.

                Casey leaned down, cleared her throat, and lowered her voice, “Daddy needs a favor.”

                “What’s wrong, Case?” She could tell there was a sense of urgency in her girlfriend’s voice.

                “I need you to help me talk to Cragen about reopening the Rosalind Silvo case. I know in my bones that there was bias on Judge Taft’s part and there was evidence to prove she was innocent…” the redhead pleaded.

                “…But Taft wouldn’t pay for the test.”

                “Exactly! If I can get Cragen to reopen the case, the DA’s office doesn’t have to go through the same channels, I can get permission to exhume the body, clear Silvo, and screw Taft to the wall.” Casey rambled, having to take a deep breath when she finally stopped speaking.

                “Well, I would like to hope I’m the only person you’re screwing against the wall but let me see the case notes and then we can go talk to him together.” Olivia chuckled, waving her hand for Casey to show her the files.

                Liv filled Elliot in and then the three of them brought it to Cragen’s attention, “Casey I’d love to help get an innocent woman out of prison, but I don’t have the manpower to fuel a vendetta.”

                “Its not really that much work boss, I think we got it covered,”

                Cragen shot him a look, “Well thank you for being such a real helper, Elliot.”

                Casey pleaded, hoping her puppy eyes would work on Cragen the way they work on Liv and Elliot, “It’s two interviews, if nothing pans out, I swear I’ll drop it.”

*****

                Liv walked out of the coffee shop and handed one to her girlfriend who was waiting for her on the sidewalk.

                “Thanks. It was a little too crowded in there for me.” Casey reached over and interlinked her fingers with the brunette’s. Her hand was a shaking, not something she’d attempted to do in public before.

                The detective tensed up, “Casey, what if someone sees us?”

                “I’m not ashamed,” she stopped and pulled the brunette’s hand turning her to face her. “I’m proud to say I’m with you, Olivia Benson.”

                Any fear Liv had at this point was washed away with Casey’s words and the adorable little dimples the redhead got when she smiled. She squeezed the attorney’s hand tighter and pulled her in close. “And I am all yours, Counselor. I wasn’t trying to hide you, I just want to keep you safe.”

                Casey smirked and leaned in to kiss the brunette, “Maybe you’ve forgotten how good I am with a bat.” She turned and started to walk again, holding her girlfriend’s hand tight with one hand, and sipping her coffee with the other.

                “You go talk to Mary, I’ll hang back here. I’m gonna check in with the house.” Liv stated as they got closer to the judge’s apartment. Casey nodded and started to walk away, the brunette pulling her back and into a quick kiss before letting her go. She wasn’t going to feel ashamed to show anyone how much Casey meant to her anymore. She watched as the redhead walked down the block and couldn’t help but stare at how good she looked in that outfit, how her hips swayed back and forth. She chewed on her lip and was startled by the phone ringing.

                “Benson. Hey El I was just about to check in. Yeah, I’m good, I’m just waiting for Casey, she’s talking with Judge Clark.”

                Judge Clark walked out of her apartment just to find Casey waiting for her. “I don’t know how I can be more clear,” she was sympathetic but not up for taking on Taft.

                The ADA smirked, “Rosalin Silvo is innocent, here’s the M.E. report.” She handed Mary the file Olivia had gotten from Warner. “Taft let his bias run that courtroom, same crap he always does but this time, he stole a woman’s life.”

                Mary scanned the report, her face dropped, and she looked up at Casey, “That son of a bitch. He’s an embarrassment to the bench.”

                “I’ll worry about him as soon as I get Rosalin Silvo out of jail.”

*****

                After hearing the evidence Judge Preston spoke, “I have to agree with counsel, the only possible remedy is to vacate Ms. Silvo’s conviction. We’re adjourned.” She stated with the bang of her gavel.

                 Rosalin, with tears of joy in her eyes, hugged Mary, and Casey, thanking them before hugging her other child tightly. The ADA and Judge Clark gathered up their things and headed for the door as Taft approached them.

                “Well Judge Clark its good to see you haven’t lost sight of your humble beginnings as a legal aid attorney. Ms. Novak, are you going to be coming through all the decisions I’ve made.” He scoffed.

                “That depends,” she started, “how many other defendant’s have you falsely convicted?”

                “History is full of mistakes Ms. Novak, even your short history.” His tone was aggressive.

                Mary stepped in between him and Casey. “You’re not threatening her, are you? Some people might consider that conduct unbecoming of an officer of the court. You can’t bully your way out of this Oliver.” She gave him a smug look knowing she could tear him down in an instant.

                Casey did her best to hide her enjoyment of this exchange when her cellphone rang. “Casey Novak.” Her heart sank, “Oh G-d.”

*****

                The ADA ran up to the scene as she approached the Campbell household. She stopped at the stairs as she saw the small body being carried out, covered in a white sheet. “Why wasn’t she in the hospital?” she demanded, her voice raw with emotion as her eyes met Elliot, who was exiting the building.

                “Released.” He walked towards her, “Parent’s didn’t want her in a nursing home. The aunt dropped by, found Alexis in her bed already dead.” He paused for a second, “Casey,” he took a deep breath, “Karen was the only one home.”

                “She finished the job.” Casey muttered as Olivia emerged from the doorway with Karen Campbell in cuffs, she was reading her, her Miranda rights as they walked past.

*****

                “Hey, you okay?” Casey was leaning against the door of the call room.

“Hey babe, I’m fine. Is her lawyer here?” Liv lifted her head up.

“No, no not yet it’s okay lay back down.” The redhead walked over and laid down on the cot next to the detective. She pulled Liv’s arm tight around her.

“Baby, you okay?” Liv mumbled into Casey’s back. She was met with silent sobs causing Casey’s body to shake against her. The brunette lifted her head up, “Baby what is it?”

“This is my fault.”

“How could you possibly…”

“I should’ve fought harder to get Taft thrown off the case, off the bench, something! I should’ve done more.”

“Case, you are only one assistant district attorney, and while you are wonderful and gorgeous and intelligent, not to mention compassionate beyond rivaling— you are only one human being.”

                Elliot rapped on the doorframe, “Hey guys, Gates is here, showtime.”

                Casey wiped her tears and stood up straighten out her blazer and the three of them headed down to the interrogation room.

                “What happened,” Elliot sat down and opened his notepad, “You miss us?”

                “You can’t charge my client with murder for a crime she was already acquitted of.” Gates spouted, demanding the release of the client.

                “Unless we’re talking about two separate acts, which we are. Right Karen?” Olivia stated closing the door behind her. “Alexis was suffocated, the poisoning had nothing to do with her death.”

                Casey studied Gates face, he had no idea what his client had done. He was as shocked as they were.

                “I didn’t want to bring her home. Pete insisted. She wouldn’t stop crying, I just wanted her to stop. It wasn’t my fault!

                “What you gonna claim it was an accident again?” Elliot clapped back at her.

                “No! The judge said I should do it.”

                Casey tilted her head, “What Judge?”

                “Judge Taft.” The ADA shot a look at Gates as Karen continued, “He said Alexis was too sick and I had other children to think about. He said we would all be better off if Alexis just died.”

                Olivia looked at her girlfriend in disbelief.

“When did he say this to you?” the redhead pressed.

“The other day in court right before I testified.”

Gates jumped up, “Interview is over, everyone out.”

“What the hell was Taft doing talking to her anyway?” Elliot asked.

“Hanging himself,” Casey scoffed. “The bastard’s done now.”

“Doesn’t that nullify her acquittal,” Liv jumped in.

The redhead nodded, “Sure does not that it matters, we’ve got her on homicide.”

A few minutes later he met the ADA and the detectives outside the interview. “I just want you to know I had no knowledge of this ex-parte or as an officer of the court I would’ve been duty bound to tell you immediately.”

“What did he say?” Casey demanded.

“Apparently, he saw her crying and told her to think of her other kids and maybe they would be better off if Alexis died anyway and then he advised her to get psychiatric help so that this kind of thing wouldn’t happen again. Which I think is a fine idea.”

“Book her and go pick up Taft,” Casey stated as she gathered her things.

“On what grounds,” Cragen questioned.

“Criminal Facilitation Two. He told her to get a shrink which means he knew this was no accident and acquitting her gave her the means and opportunity to commit a Class A felony.”

“He has judicial immunity Casey,” Cragen spoke softly.

“He smoked his judicial immunity the minute he had an ex parte communication with the defendant.” The redhead said as she stormed out of the precinct.

*****

                “I don’t think I’ve every been this nervous.” Casey said checking over her appearance in the mirror. “I cannot lose this case.”

                Liv came up behind her and kissed her neck, “You’re gonna do great baby. C’mon,” she turned her around and straightened the lapel of her jacket, “Everyone knows my Daddy has the best conviction rate in town, and she isn’t scared of anyone, definitely not some old man named Oliver Taft.” She pulled her collar tight and kissed the redhead. “I know you’re already dressed but I think I know how to calm you down.”  She smiled slyly.

                “Mmm, do you now?” Casey raised her brow and bit her lip.

                Liv nodded, sliding the redhead’s suit jacket off and placing it on the counter, “Mhmm yeah. Watch.” she said sliding her tongue into her mouth.

The attorney enthralled in the kiss grabbed for her girlfriend’s belt buckle fumbling to get it undone and get Liv’s fly down. She slid her hand down into the brunette’s waistband as her lover had moved on to kissing down her pulse points. Casey felt how wet Olivia already was and let out a sultry giggle, “Mmm, I’m starting to think I just keep you like this twenty-four/seven. Let Daddy fix it.” She moaned sliding a finger in and pressing her palm to Liv’s clit.

The detective fumbled with Casey’s suit pants as she let out little whimpers which Casey swallowed, kissing her hard. Finally getting them undone, the attorney used her freehand to grab her girlfriends wrist and pull it to her, sliding it down into her boxers. Liv glided two fingers into Casey’s soaked center and thrust her back against the counter.

The ADA threw her head back, “Oh god Olivia! Fuck” she slipped another finger into the detective. The two of them mewling and whimpering as they continued toying with each other’s g-spots. They knew each other’s body’s like clockwork, enough to make it last for hours or make the other cum instantly. Their breath hitching and growing ragged they both knew what was coming next and let go, collapsing against each other and back against the counter.

Casey held Liv’s head against her shoulder and kissed her temple, both of them out of breath. “You make the prettiest noises when I fuck you.”

******

                As they arrived at the courthouse Casey was much more relaxed. She was hurriedly headed towards the courtroom when she heard someone call out to her.

                “Hey Novak! Catch.” She turned around to see Elliot lob something in her direction. She caught it one handed and looked at it.

                “What’s this for?” she said quizzingly.

                “It’s cologne Case, you smell like sex. Keep it,” he headed in, “Knock em dead!”

                As the trial proceeded the prosecution called Taft as their first witness.

                “Is that why you spoke to Karen during her trial, because you thought she was innocent.” The ADA asked casually.

                Taft paused for a second and took a deep breath, “I admit the conversation was ill-advised. We were in the same elevator, she was distraught. I allowed my empathy to overrule my intellect.” Elliot rolled his eyes from the gallery as Taft spoke.

                “Did it every occur to you that Karen Campbell might be responsible for her daughters condition?” Casey continued.

                “I must object, Your Honor.” Taft argued.

                “You felt sorry for the defendant, so you must’ve already decided she was innocent even though the trial had not concluded yet.”

                “I had formed no opinion,” Taft retorted, “as you just said the trial had not yet concluded.”

                “I know,” the redhead swung her hand as she walked over to the jury box. “Which is why it was so strange that you were talking to her. Why did you tell the defendant to quote seek psychiatric help, so this tragedy doesn’t occur again.”

                “She was upset,” the judge answered.

                “Because it sounds like you really did think she poisoned her daughter.” Casey was getting louder, more adamant in how she spoke.

                “It was a mistake, is that what you want me to say Ms. Novak? One mistake in almost three decades?”

                Casey sneered, “Didn’t you make an arguably bigger mistake? When you wrongfully convicted Rosalin Silvo of murdering her daughter and sent her to prison for ten years?” The ADA was shouting at this point.

                “That is completely immaterial,” The Judge argued.

                The redhead stepped to him, “You can’t object Judge Taft.”

                “But I can Ms. Novak,” Judge Bradley warned.

                “Did you tell Karen Campbell to suffocate her daughter?” Casey walked back towards the jury.

                “No.”

                “But you talked to her even though it was clearly improper,”

                “It was a mistake!”

 “You don’t make mistakes, you make judgements, who’s innocent, who’s guilty. You saw Rosalin Silvo and she was a whore. That means she’s a bad mother. And then you saw Karen Campbell. Why did you talk to her Judge?” Casey was furious at this point.

“Your Honor!?” Taft turned towards Judge Bradley.

“Why talk to her? Why talk to Karen Campbell?” the young fiery attorney pressed as Taft stood up in the witness box. “Why talk to a woman who tried to murder her daughter?”

“I didn’t know!”

“Didn’t know what?” Casey shouted, “That she’d turn around and try to do it again.”

“I THOUGHT THEY WERE GOOD PEOPLE” Taft bellowed at Casey.

Judge Bradley banged his gavel, “That’s enough!”

“Nothing further,” the redhead’s lip curled as she walked away.

It didn’t take the Jury long to come back with a guilty verdict. The press was outside waiting for Taft as both Elliot and Casey watched satisfied from afar. He had been demoted before he even left the courtroom. The detective nudged the ADA, “You did good Case.” She nudged him back and smiled.

*****

                “It’s open,” Casey said as she heard her girlfriend approach the door. She was sitting at the counter. “Hey beautiful.”

                Liv walked over and planted a longing kiss on the redhead.

                “Mmm,” Casey couldn’t help but smile at the brunette’s touch. “I have something for you.”

                “You do?” The detective asked, “What is it? Something sexy?”

                Casey giggled, “I hope you think so.” She looked up at Liv, “so you know how you always say how unsafe it is for me to leave my door unlocked when waiting for you? I think I’ve found a solution.” She slid her hand across the counter towards her girlfriend and lifted it away revealing a singular house key. “What do you think?”

Read Part 7

[elianamarie-blog]

The Things You Give Pt. 32

WhOoO wEeE! It's be a long time. Sorry it took so long! I've had a wild summer, yall. I moved and been pretty darn tired! I've also been stuck in a writing rut, so please forgive me. But I think I got it! I hope you like this chapter! It took a bit to write and I hope I do it justice. Thank you, loves! For everything. By the way, it's finally spooky season! Yay!

“What are you doing here?” Y/n asked incuriously.

“I’m here to pick up some stuff,” he responded and leaned against the doorframe, staring her up and down. “Whoa, who did this to you?”

“Who the hell are you?” Hyde asked, coming up behind Y/n.

“Connor,” he replied coyly and flicked his dirty blonde hair out of his eyes.  “Who are you?”

“I’m her husband,” he said defensively.

“Oh, yeah I heard about you,” Connor said, wagging a finger at him. “You’re the one that got busted for carrying. Like, two years ago, right?”

“Yeah, now answer my question.”

Connor smirked and eyed Y/n up and down. “I was her camp counselor a couple years back.”

Hyde looked to his wife whose eyes never left Connor’s. “Is he the one you…?”

“Yep,” Y/n responded shortly.

“And it looks like I dodged a bullet,” Connor snickered.

Y/n sharply inhaled, a throbbing headache already coming on. “What do you want, Connor?”

“I’m here for my dad,” he responded. “Wanted me to pick up something from Red.”

“What? What could he have that you need to pick up?”

“Hey, Connor!” Red greeted as he came from the den. “Glad you’re here! Wanna follow me into the garage?”

“How do you know each other?” Y/n asked.

“I ran into his dad while at the hardware store the other day,” Red replied. “He told me that he was in need of a chainsaw and I told him ‘No need, you can borrow mine.’”

The couple raised their eyebrows at him.

“You’re willingly letting someone borrow one of your tools?” Y/n asked incredulously. “Okay, who are you and what have you done with my dad?”

Red chuckled. “I know his dad. We’ve known each other for years. We served together in Korea.”

“Oh…” she trailed off, her stomach dropping. “Of course, he did.”

“How bout that?” Hyde chuckled, jealousy starting to boil in his veins.

“How do you two know each other?” Red asked, turning the question back on them.

“I was her camp counselor,” Connor repeated. “We had a good time and got to know each other pretty well.” He drawled on those last two words, not breaking eye contact with her.

Y/n glared at him, her fingers starting to itch from wanting to wrap them around his throat.

Red furrowed his brows at him. “What do you mean by that?”

“Nothing,” Y/n answered through clenched teeth. “We got to know each other just like everyone else.”

Red couldn’t help but squint his eyes at the three young adults: Y/n standing rigid, clenching her jaw while Steven stood stiff as well with his fists balled up, knuckles white. Then there was Connor whose smirk never left his face, eyes scanning his daughter like a piece of meat. Any likeness he had towards the kid was quickly going down the drain.

“Alright, Connor, follow me to the garage,” Red said, less enthusiastic as before.

“Yes, Mr. Forman,” Connor said dutifully and brushed past Y/n without breaking eye contact—or his smirk.

Once those two disappeared behind the kitchen, Y/n spun to Hyde whose eyes were locked on the kitchen door. If she didn’t know any better, he would be able to burn holes into it.

“That son of a bitch,” she spit.

“I hate him,” he said shortly.

“Yeah, me too,” she sighed and got back to helping everyone clean. “Just don’t pay any mind to him. It’s what he wants.”

“Why did he bring up your guys’ past like that?” Eric asked.

Y/n froze as she was picking up the plates. “Uh...I don't know. Reasons?"

“What reasons?” Donna pressed, grinning wickedly.

Y/n whipped her head towards her, baring her teeth. “Shut. Up,” she mouthed.

“Nothing, guys,” Y/n said without making eye contact. “Just drop it, okay?”

“Y/n…what aren’t you telling us?” Kitty asked nervously.

“It doesn’t matter,” she replied, getting visibly nervous. “Let’s just clean up because I’m getting tired and want to go to bed.”

“Y/n, it’s six o’ clock,” Donna pointed out.

“Yeah, well, you try carrying twins!” she snapped.

Donna laughed as she carried the rest of the plates in the kitchen.

“Y/n…please tell me you didn’t do anything with that boy,” Kitty almost begged, nervous.

“Uhm…” she stumbled, her brain short-circuiting.

“You know what, I don’t want to know,” Kitty said, almost disgusted. “All my children are sex maniacs.” She rushed out the living into the kitchen.   

“Okay, but seriously, what the hell?” Y/n hissed once Kitty was out of earshot. “Out of all people, he had to be the one to show up at my front door!”

“What’s the big deal?” Eric asked. “It’s not like he’s going to stir up anything. He’s just here to pick something for his dad.”

“No, absolutely not,” she responded. “Knowing Connor, he’s going to pull something Zack would do.”

“You know, I’m getting real tired of all these surprise visitors,” Hyde grumbled and picked up some plates off the coffee table. “It’s starting to dwindle my will to live.”

“You don’t think he’s going to tell Dad about you two, do you?” Eric asked nervously.

“If he’s asking for an ass whooping, then sure,” his twin chuckled. “I’m not worried about Dad’s reaction, I want to know his true intention.”

“Yeah, it can’t get worse than finding out about you and Hyde,” Donna chuckled.

“Yeah,” Y/n trailed off, remembering the murder that almost took place. She shook her head, bringing herself back in the moment. “Anyway.”

“He can’t do any worse than what Zack did,” Donna said.

“I wouldn’t put it past him,” Y/n grumbled. “I’m really not in the mood to kick his ass, too.”

“Hey, I’m your husband. That’s my job,” Hyde piped up and smiled at her, making his way into the kitchen.

“And you’ll look sexy while doing it,” she responded and followed him into the kitchen.

Eric and Donna trailed behind them as well, carrying the rest of the garbage and dishes.

Kitty sat at the table with a glass of bourbon, reading a Cosmo magazine.

“Uh, oh. Someone pulled out the bourbon,” Y/n sang-song. “What’s got you upset?”

“Oh, nothing,” Kitty said hoarsely as she flipped through her magazine. “It’s nice knowing all my children are sinners.”

“Ugh, Mom,” Eric and Y/n groaned in unison.

“And the fact that you two partied and drank in high school,” Hyde tsked, watching as the twins turned to him with wide eyes and murderous looks.

“You what?!” Kitty screeched.

“Nothing!” Y/n seethed. “Hyde is just a little loopy from his head injury.”

“What? I don’t have a—”

He didn’t finish as he was wacked hard upside the head.

“Ow, Y/n!” Hyde grumbled, rubbing his head, but his smirk didn’t falter nor go unnoticed.

“It doesn’t matter anyway,” Y/n said and finished throwing away the trash. “I want to know why, out of all the guys in Point Place, why did he have to come knocking at my front door?”

“Come on, Y/n, whatever happened between you two was a while ago,” Donna said, carefully picking her words. “I don’t think he’s here to start anything.”

“I don’t know,” she responded. Her mind was reeling of the possibilities. “If Zack was a problem before, I can’t imagine what Connor is going to be.”

“Oh, Y/n, you’re being a little dramatic,” Kitty said and stood from the table with her bourbon in hand. “Connor isn’t going to do anything. You’re married now with twins on the way. I don’t think he’s going to try anything.”

“Maybe not, but that doesn’t ease my nerves,” she responded and grabbed a snack from the fridge.

“Don’t let one person ruin your day,” Kitty said exasperated. “You had a great day! You had a beautiful baby shower—thanks to me—and you got amazing gifts—also thanks to me—and now you have everything you need for these babies! Why would you want to let an ex ruin that?”

“I guess,” Y/n sighed, rubbing her eyes. “I just don’t have the time or energy to deal with another ex-problem. I want to focus on the babies and figuring out what I’m doing to do with my life.”

“You still haven’t figured it out?” Kitty asked, shocked.

“Well…no,” she admitted sheepishly. “I don’t know what I’m interested in.”

“Join the club,” Eric said.

“Well, figure it out, you two, because you won’t be living here for the rest of your lives.” She didn’t give them a chance to respond as she marched out the kitchen. 

“Ugh,” Y/n grunted as plopped down at the table. “I’m exhausted.” A beat passed. “Steven, I’m hungry.”

He sighed and looked at her adoringly. “What do you want?”

She perked up. “A big fat cheeseburger with extra pickles and large fries. Oh, and a chocolate milkshake!”

“You got it,” he said and kissed her before grabbing his keys.

“Can you get me something?” Eric asked.

“No,” Hyde called over his shoulder as he walked out the door.

Eric turned back to his sister who was grinning. “Nice husband you got there.”

“I know,” she responded dreamily.

Suddenly, the door slid open revealing Connor and Red with Connor holding a chainsaw.

“Thanks, Mr. Forman. I know my mom is going to be really happy once my dad cuts off those noisy tree branches. She’ll finally be able to sleep at night now that the branches won’t be hitting her window.”

“You’re welcome. Just remember to bring it back,” Red said, smiling. “Tell Chuck I said hi and to give me a call. Maybe he’d like to grab a few beers and catch up.”

“I’ll let him know,” Connor chuckled innocently before he caught sight of Y/n. His eyes suddenly turned vulture like as if he was waiting for his prey to die. “I’ll see you later,” he purred.

A shiver ran down her spine, and not in a good way. “Ew.”

 “Come on, sugar, don’t be like that.”

“Wow, okay, we have a lot to unpack here,” she stated and stood to her feet. “One: Don’t call me that. It’s gross, you’re gross. And second of all: I don’t know why you out of all people have to be here, but stay away from me, stay away from my friends, and stay away from my family. Specifically, my husband.”

“Trust me, sweets, I wasn’t planning on being anywhere near you.”

She squinted at him. “Good. I already had to deal with Zack, don’t make me deal with you, too.”

“Oh, yeah, I heard about that,” he snickered. “You made him run away with his tail tucked between his legs. Real badass what you did there.”

“Don’t patronize me,” she spit. “I don’t need you bringing your crap into my life. There’s a reason why we didn’t move forward with our relationship.”

“You call what we had—or did—a relationship?” he sneered. Her eyes widened as he smirked at her. “Darling, I only hooked up with you because I needed a release.”

“You did WHAT?!” Red barked, making Y/n jump.

“This is it; this is how I die,” she whispered to Donna who was sitting behind her.

“You hooked up with your camp counselor?!” Red continued to shriek and turned to Connor. “You’re like two years older than her!”

“Hey, man, she wanted it just as much. She was hot on me like a moth to a flame.”

Y/n thought she was going to vomit right then and there.

“Connor, man, do you think this is smart to do with my dad and a chainsaw in the same room?” Eric muttered out of the corner of his mouth.

“I’m going to kill you with my bare hands!” Red roared.

"Wow, okay, go straight to it," Eric murmured and got behind Y/n.

“And then I’m going to detach every single one of your limbs for fish bait and if that is able to bring me any use, then that is the most useful you’ve ever been in your entire life!” Red continued.

Connor chuckled as if he just didn’t receive a threat from Red who was very capable of following through. “Yeah, okay. Thanks for the chainsaw, man.”

“I don’t think so,” Red countered and ripped the chainsaw out of his hands. “You can get the hell out of my house.”

The smile on Connor’s face faded. “Fine.”

“Oh, and tell Chuck that he’s a son of a bitch and I never liked him.”

Connor didn’t respond, but turn on his heel and walk out. Once they heard the front door slam close, Red whipped to his daughter who was cowering away from him.

“What the hell was that about?” he demanded. “All that crap he was saying—he better be lying because I’m tired of hearing things about you that a father should never hear about his daughter.”

“It’s not as bad as it sounds,” Y/n responded cooly, even though her heart was about to beat out of her chest.

“Okay, then tell me how it is, then,” Red challenged as he put the chainsaw down to cross his arms. “Tell me how it’s ‘not as bad as it sounds.’”

“We went out a couple times and kissed once,” she lied—sort of. “Nothing beyond that. He was just being a prick. And he told me he was the same age as me, so I didn’t think anything of it.”

Red stared at her for a moment, deciphering whether she was telling the truth or not. She held her breath while under his scrutinized glare.

Another beat passed. “Fine.”

Her gaze snapped to his. “Fine?”

“Fine,” he repeated. “At this point I don’t care if you’re lying to me. I’m just tired of your ex-boyfriends.”

“Believe me, so am I,” she grumbled and watched as Red walked out the kitchen. “I’m still not convinced that he’s gone for good.”

“He’s gone for now,” Donna said, attempting to soothe her best friend. “Try to relax.”

“Keyword is ‘try’,” she grumbled and allowed Donna to lead her back to the table. Putting her hands on Y/n’s shoulders, she guided her down into the chair.

“Look, you’re three months away from popping and any stress isn’t good for the babies. You need to find a way to destress. Decompress tonight and worry about tomorrow, tomorrow. Okay?” Eric said, trying to comfort his sister.

Y/n’s face scrunched up in realization. “Isn’t that from my book?”

“Hey, I get bored. And I’m reader, I can’t help it.”

Y/n chuckled as Donna handed her a juice. “Thanks.”

“Okay, let’s forget about Connor,” Donna continued and sat next to her best friend. “What do you want to do?”

“Well…I could go for a movie,” she perked up.

Donna nodded. “Okay, sure. What movie do you wanna see?”

“I heard the new Rocky movie was good.”

“Nah, nah, nah, you wanna see Mad Max,” Eric intercepted. “Now that movie was badass!”

“Or,” Y/n continued, ignoring Eric. “I could go upstairs, get into my comfiest pjs and put on a movie and wait for Steven to bring me my food so I can go to bed early.”

“You’ve been sleeping a lot more lately,” Eric said, concerned.

“I’m busy incubating right now. Let me know how well it goes for you when you get pregnant.”

“Ha, ha, very funny,” he deadpanned.

“No, but I am tired and I just want to snuggle up with my husband.” She checked her watch. “Where is Steven with the food?”

“It’s only been a few minutes,” Eric said, cutting himself a slice a cake Kitty had made earlier in the day.

“This town ain’t that big,” Y/n countered. “I swear, if he’s not here in five minutes, I’m going to start eating you.”

Eric’s eyes widened.

“Hey, Doll,” Steven said, sliding the door open. “Sorry, it took so long. The line was—”

“Oh, thank God,” Eric cried out and grabbed Hyde’s shoulders and spun his body around so that Eric was using him as a human shield. “Y/n was about to start honing in to eat me.”

“What?” Hyde responded, barley stumbling back. “No, she wasn’t and—get off me, Forman!” He shrugged Eric off his shoulders.

“Is that mine?” Y/n asked, pointing to the white, greasy bag in her husband’s hand.

“Who else’s would it be?” he asked, teasing. “Here you go. And here’s that milkshake.”

“Thank you, baby,” she cooed and kissed him.

“Of course.” He looked around the kitchen, noticing Connor’s absence. “Where’s wannabe frat boy?”

“He left. He told my dad that we were a thing.”

“What?!”

“Yeah…”

“And the place is still standing?” he quipped.

“It wasn’t about to be,” Y/n chuckled and sat down to dig in.

“Yeah, sounds about right,” Hyde said and swiped one of her fries.

She smacked his hand away. “Hey! Get your own.”

                                             --Time Skip—

“Hey, Honey, do you have the new The Knack album?” Y/n asked while browsed through the records at Groove’s.

“Yeah.” Hyde rounded the checkout counter and joined her at the crates of records. He flicked through a few before he pulled out and handed it to her. “One The Knack record for my pretty lady.”

“Forever the gentlemen,” she flirted and took it from his grip. She flipped it over to see the price. “Oh, Mr. Hyde I don’t have any money to pay for this.” She twirled a piece of hair around her finger. “Will you take any other form of payment?”

Steven looked at her with hooded eyes, smirking, and took a step closer to her, a hand resting on her hip. “I can think of one.”

She hummed. “Where can I give your payment?”

“The office is empty,” he purred and started kissing her jaw.

“Does it lock?” she breathed.

“I installed one for a reason.”

Y/n felt a moan creeping up in the back of her throat as she felt his lips brush against her sweet spot on her neck. “Are you busy?”

“I can take my break.”

“Really, you two? At work?” an annoyed voice piped up from behind them.

They spun around to see Angie standing there, holding a clipboard and a file.

“In the middle of the store, no less,” she continued. “Very professional, Steven.”

“You’re right,” Hyde said and grabbed Y/n’s hand. “We still have the office.”

He started to tug her towards the office when Angie stopped them.

“No! Don’t defile our office like that!” Angie argued. “I do our paperwork and eat my lunch in there!”

“Oh…you might want to find another place to eat now,” Y/n said sheepishly.

Angie’s eyes widened. “EW! What is wrong with you two?!”

Steven shrugged and wrapped an arm around Y/n's shoulders. “What can I say? We’re hot for each other.”

Angie scoffed. “Well, you can’t leave the floor anyway. You need to do inventory, remember?”

Hyde sighed in annoyance. “C’mon, man, we have until Friday to finish it.”

“Yeah, and it’s Tuesday and I’ve already done half of the work,” she argued. “I think having your wife here is distracting you.”

“Hey, ‘his wife’ has a name and you know that!” Y/n piped up.

“Honey, I’ve got this,” Steven said defensively. “My wife has a name, and you know that!”

“She just said that,” Angie said.

“I know,” he replied and shuffled his feet, straightening his back. “It sounds better coming from me.”

Y/n’s eyes rolled but couldn’t stop the smile that spread across her face.  

“Besides, she has every right to be here just as much as everyone else,” Hyde continued. “If you don’t want her here, then I’m not going to be here. You know what? That sounds like a good idea. C’mon, Y/n, let’s go—”

As he turned to walk out, Angie stopped them again. “You can’t go anywhere. You said you were going to lock up the store tonight.”

Steven stopped dead in his tracks and turned back around. “When did I say that?”

“Yesterday, when I asked you if you could lock up tonight because I have a date.”

Hyde thought back to the day before, trying to remember when he agreed to do it. It suddenly hit him when he had strolled in after “lunch” and was barley listening to her as he watched the patterns on the wall dance.

“In my opinion, I didn’t know what I was agreeing to,” he argued, and Angie rolled her eyes. “Besides, who do you have a date with?”

“No one in particular,” she said, the file suddenly becoming interesting.

“Angie…” he warned. “Are you going out with Kelso?”

“No,” she said, a little too loudly.

“Angie, you can’t go out with Kelso, man! Kelsos have a bad rep. Even the sign entering Point Place says that.”

“Yeah, he’s right,” Y/n said. “It literally says, ‘Don’t date Kelso.’”

Angie shook her head, rolling her eyes. “You guys have nothing to worry about. It’s just dinner.”

“Yeah, and you’re going to be dessert,” Y/n quipped, earning a dirty glare from her husband. “Look, if you don’t want to end up pregnant like the last chick, don’t—and I cannot stress this enough—date Kelso.”

“Well, then I can just join your club then,” Angie said snidely.

Y/n squinted at her sister-in-law, feeling insulted. “You know what? Let her get knocked up, I don’t care,” she said and walked away to sit down at the counter.

“C’mon, can you close up tonight?” Angie said. “Do you want me to beg?”

“Actually, yeah, I do.” Steven changed his stance, legs spread apart with his arms crossed. “Go ahead.”

She groaned. “Fine. Please?”

He scrunched his face. “No. You’re not going out with Kelso. I forbid it.”

He walked past her to join Y/n at the register.

“Forbid it?” Angie asked. “You can’t forbid me to do anything!”

“I don’t care, man. Kelso is bad news, and I won’t let him hurt you because that’s what he’ll do.”

“Awe, that’s so sweet that you’re looking out for me,” she cooed.

He leaned against the counter on his hands. “No, it’s not that. I don’t want to have Kelso officially related to me. I already can’t stand him as my friend.”

“Okay fine. I won’t go out with him,” Angie said, pouting. “But you’re still going to lock up for me tonight.”

“Fine.”

“But that’s not the reason why I came out here.” She handed him the folder in her hand. “I hired a new girl and she’s on her way right now to fill out the paperwork.”

“We were hiring?” he asked, flipping through the file. “What’s she like?”

“Well, her name is Mandy, she’s twenty and still in college. Very sweet, very smart, and very cute.”

“Oh, good to know. Didn’t even know we were hiring.”

“It’s only part time, but she’ll be a good addition to the store.”

“Uh, quick question,” Y/n piped up, holding up her hand. “Why didn’t you think to ask me? I’m not only here every other day, I know my way around the store.”

“Because when you go into labor, we’d have to find a temporary replacement and I don’t want to go through that trouble. It’s better to just have someone already lined up,” Angie responded. “Besides, having a pregnant lady here might turn off some customers.”

“Oh, well, thanks for your consideration,” Y/n muttered bitterly.  

“She starts Monday. Make sure she fills out all the forms and has her driver’s license and social security card,” Angie directed.

“Do we really need all that stuff?” Hyde asked and tossed the folder on the counter beside him. “It’s just you and me, man. We don’t need a third person here.”

“Extra help won’t hurt,” she said. “Besides, she’ll really help out when you go on paternity leave.”

“Paternity leave? I’m only going to be gone a few days, maybe a week.”

“A week?!” Y/n interrupted. “I’m going to push two full grown babies out of a hole the size of a pea and you’re only going to be home for a week?!”

“Well, Y/n, I still have to bring home a paycheck,” he replied, turning to his wife. “You can’t buy diapers without me bringing home the dough.”

“Oh, come on, you know how Dad is,” Angie said. “We both know he’s going to pay you a little extra. You are making him a grandfather anyway.”

“I’m not going to assume that he’s going to pay me, Angie,” he said, opening the cash drawer to count it.

“Yeah, because he’s my hardworking man,” Y/n gushed and wrapped her arms around his middle, kissing his shoulder.

“Ugh, get a room,” Angie said, rolling her eyes.

“Well, we tried but you clam-jammed me,” Hyde said and snickered after Angie wrinkled her nose at him.

“Just…be nice to the girl when she comes in, will you?” Angie asked desperately and looked at Y/n. “And keep your hands to yourselves.”

“Oh, you mean like this?” Y/n grabbed her husband and smashed her mouth to his, roaming her hands all over his back, shoulders, and butt.

Steven went along and gripped her hips, returning the kiss.

“Uh…is there where I’m supposed to fill out paperwork?” a small voice piped up.

The couple pulled apart instantly. In front of the counter stood a petite girl with dark flowing hair and dazzling green eyes. She was skinny but had a natural big bust which was really pointed out by her sling bag strap resting between her breasts. Her face was round and innocent with a natural pink tint to it. Overall, she was absolutely gorgeous.

Y/n couldn’t help but feel a little jealous.

Angie could feel her face heating up and blocked her of the PDA. “You must be Mandy,” she chuckled nervously.

“Is this how your employees interact with each other?” she asked with a hint of a smile.

“No!” Angie quickly defended. “They’re…they’re—uh—”

“Married,” Hyde finished for her. “And she’s not an employee. This is my wife, Y/n.”

“Hi, I’m Mandy,” she said, waving.

“I’m Steven Hyde, I’m the manager,” he said and shook her hand. “But you can call me Hyde.”

“So, you’ll be my boss?” she asked.

“Yes, and her too,” he pointed to Angie. “You’ll probably be dealing with her more than me, though.”

“Okay,” she said, nodding her head. “Sounds easy enough.”

“Trust me, man, it is,” he said, walking around the counter and hopped onto it, his legs dangling. “Just keep the store running and don’t let anyone steal anything and you’ll be golden.”

“Well, there’s more to that,” Angie corrected, giving Steven a look. “But that’s the gist of it.”

“Okay, sounds good,” she beamed. “Where should I sign the papers?”

“Here, I’ll take you into the office,” Hyde said and grabbed the folder then lead her into the office. He turned briefly to shoot Angie and Y/n a smirk before entering the room.

Once they disappeared, Y/n turned to Angie. “What the hell? You couldn’t hire someone else?”

She couldn’t even be bothered to look up from her clip board. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, you couldn’t have hired someone old and ugly?!”

Angie finally looked up with a glint in her eye. “Do you have a problem with Mandy?”

“Do I have a problem?” Y/n repeated. “You purposely hired her to piss me off, didn’t you?”

Angie sighed, now annoyed. “What’re you talking about? I put a help wanted ad in the paper a few days ago and she answered it. I didn’t do anything on purpose.” She looked at Y/n who was busy glaring at the office door that was now closed.

“Why is that door closed?” she asked, pointing to it.

“For confidentially reasons,” Angie responded like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “You know that office has other uses besides what you guys do. Anyways, what has gotten into y—?” A smirk then danced across her lips realizing what it was. “Are you jealous of Mandy?”

“What?” Y/n cried out. “Of course not!”

“Really? Because I think I’m starting to see some green poke through.”

“Angie, I’m not jealous of Mandy, okay?” Y/n said, a little weakly. “It’s just…I don’t like the way she looked at him.”

“She didn’t look at him in anyway—” Angie started, but then realized that it was a moot point. “Y/n…if you’re worried about if he’s going to try anything with her, he’s not.”

Y/n moved her attention to Angie who, for the first time, was talking to her like a normal human being and not just some annoyance. “I know, but…she’s his exact type from before.”

Angie popped out her hip and rested her fist on it. “How do you know she’s Steven’s type?”

“Well,” she stuttered and looked down at her hands that were resting on the counter. “She’s pretty and…and tall—”

“She’s not that tall.”

“Okay, but she also has a rack on her!”

Angie snickered and flicked her eyes down to Y/n’s swollen chest before looking back up. “Yeah, because hers are the problem.”

“And she’s older!”

“So?”

“She’s wiser! She’s in college!”

Angie hummed, thoroughly amused at this point. “Anything else?”

“She’s—”

“Skinny?” Angie interjected.

Y/n snapped her attention to her sister-in-law. “Are you enjoying this?!”

“Maybe a little bit,” she admitted and set the clipboard down. “Look, I don’t think you have anything to worry about with Steven. Steven is a lot of things, but a cheater ain’t one of them.”

“Yeah, I’ve said that before,” Y/n mumbled.

“With the way Steven looks at you, you’ll be fine,” Angie continued and started flicking through the vinyl’s and checking them off her check list.

“Yeah,” Y/n sighed. “It’s not him I’m worried about, though.”

                                                   --Time Skip—

“So, you think the new girl is going to go after Hyde?” Donna asked later that night as they hung out in her bedroom. An empty pizza box sat at their side along with two coke bottles and juice boxes as Donna painted Y/n’s toes a baby pink.

“I don’t know, I mean, she didn’t interested, but I don’t know what happened after they went into the office,” Elena sighed.

“C’mon, you don’t think Hyde would actually cheat, do you?”

Y/n shrugged. “No, but I can’t trust a girl won’t throw herself at him.”

Donna screwed the cover back on the nail polish and used a magazine to fan the polish dry. “I don’t think you have anything to worry about.”

“You think?”

“Yeah, I mean you remember what happened last time.”

“Exactly! I remember what happened last time and I don’t want a repeat of it! Remember Amber?”

“I don’t think that’s going to happen again,” Donna reassured.

“It was only six months ago, Donna!”

“Y/n, listen. Hyde has a lot to worry about then some girl coming onto him, alright?”

“You didn’t see her, Donna,” Y/n whined and got up carefully as to not ruin her nail polish. “She was really cute and not pregnant and older! She’s in college!”

“What?! No way!” Donna exaggerated, feigning shock.

“Yeah! She can easily have—you’re making fun of me, aren’t you?”

“I’m sorry,” she laughed. “But you’re being a little ridiculous.”

“Am not!” Donna gave her a look and Y/n’s shoulders slumped. “Okay, maybe a little. I just don’t seem big chested college bimbo all over my husband.” Donna gave her another look. “What?! I’m pregnant and hormonal; don’t contradict me.”

                                                            --Time Skip—

“Hey, Y/n,” Steven said the next morning as he entered their bedroom. She sat on their bed against the headboard as she read her baby book. “We need to think about setting up the twins’ nursery. You got any ideas?”

“Mhm, not really,” she murmured.

He stood at the edge of the bed, staring at his wife. “Well, shouldn’t we go over it?”

She hummed and flipped the page. “Sure, if you want.”

Steven placed a hand on his hip and looked down at her frustrated. “Can you stop reading and look at me?”

A sigh escaped her as she looked up from her book, annoyed. “There, happy?”

“What’s gotten into you?”

She shrugged. “Nothing.”

“Bull,” he spit.

“I’m serious! I’m just reading.”

“You’re not usually annoyed when reading. Seriously, what’s wrong with you?”

“Steven, I told you, it’s nothing.”

“And like I said, it’s bull.”

She stumbled her way off the bed and rubbed her forehead. “You’re right, I’m sorry. Must be pregnancy hormones. What do you have in mind?”

He scrunched his brows at her, but relaxed his features immediately as he decided to let it go. “Yep, well, that’s why I came to you.”

“You’ve always been better at this kind of thing than I am.”

“We can do Winnie the Pooh?”

“What—are our children wusses? No thanks.”

“Okay, what about green? Or blue?”

“What if they’re both girls?”

“Okay, then yellow?”

“Then we’re back to Winnie the Pooh!”

“Okay, then you pick!” she said, frustrated.

“I don’t know, doll,” he said and sat on the bed. “We just need to pick something out so that we can be ready.”

“I can pick up some magazines,” she sighed and sat next to him. “I’ll go today.”

“Well, we can start by rearranging the room,” he suggested, his tone lighter than before. “We do have a lot of crap in there.”

She smiled and rubbed her round belly. “Yeah, we can do that.”

“Good.” He turned to look at her and kissed her forehead.

“I’m sorry for being grumpy.”

“Yeah, well…you were.”

She laughed and threw a pillow at his face. Chuckling, he blocked it and leaned in, kissing her.

                                              --Time Skip—

At lunch that day, the Formans and Hydes sat around the table, enjoying grilled cheese and tomato soup.

Y/n was on her third bowl as she wolfed down her sandwiches.

“Hey, Y/n, mind saving some for the rest of us?” Eric asked.

“Shut up,” she snapped with a mouthful of food. “These aren’t big enough.”

“You really are pregnant, are you?” he asked.

Y/n looked at him with a deadpanned expression. “What gave it away, genius?”

“Okay, no snapping at the table,” Kitty interrupted. “Y/n, Steven tells me you’re going to start decorating the nursery. That sounds like fun.”

“Yeah, we’re going to pick out color samples today,” she responded.

“Oh,” Kitty said, intrigued. “What colors were you thinking? You know, when I had you and Eric, I painted your room gender neutral colors. It was green and orange.”

“Yeah, it was horrendous,” Red commented off-handedly.

“Excuse me?!” Kitty asked. “You didn’t even help me! I was far along as Y/n is and you refused to help me!”

“I did not!” he argued. “Every time I would come in to help, you turned me away!”

“I did not!”

“You said I was messing it up and I couldn’t do it right!”

“Well, you weren’t!”

“And now you’re blaming me!”

“Okay—you know what?” Kitty said and scooted out of her chair and stormed out.

“We were just having a complete normal conversation and she still gets mad at me,” Red said exasperated.

                                                --Time Skip—

Later that day, the gang, minus Donna, found themselves in the basement, hanging out.

“You did what to her?!” Y/n shouted at her brother. 

“I swear it was an accident!” he shouted back.

“How do you accidentally almost break someone’s neck?” Hyde questioned.

“I didn’t almost break her neck!” Eric defended. 

“She can barley move her neck, Forman,” Hyde said.

“Seriously, what in God’s name where you thinking?” Y/n demanded.

“I was already on page twelve!” he defended. “At that point I was a natural.”

“Oh, do you guys hear that?” Hyde mocked. “He read a book for ten minutes and is already a professional!”

“You know what? I already feel bad enough as it is,” Eric said, pouting. “You guys aren’t helping.”

“Well, we’re not here to pat your back,” Jackie piped up.

“Eric, I know I haven’t been here long enough, and please don’t take offense when I say this, but how is Donna still with you?” Markus asked.

“Funny you say that, I was just going to ask the same about Jackie,” Eric quipped.

Markus pursed his lips and nodded. “At least I didn’t almost break her neck.”

“Can’t say the same for her back though,” Kelso smirked.

Everyone stared at him in disgust.

“What?! We can joke about Hyde and Y/n’s sex life, but not Jackie and Markus’s!?” he defended.

“No, you see, we make fun of our sex life,” Hyde said, pointing to him and Y/n. “We mainly do it to freak out Forman. But you bringing up someone else’s is just plain creepy, man.”

“So, Fez, Kelso, have you guys found an apartment yet?” Y/n asked, clearing her throat in discomfort.  

“Yeah, Red convinced Fenton to give us the apartment,” Kelso said, avoiding eye contact with everyone.

“Yeah, and Red seemed so happy, he was laughing the whole ride home,” Fez said with a smile.

Kelso laughed dumbly. “Yeah, I'm pretty sure that Red told Fenton that we knew a lot of chicks. 'Cause Fenton kept checking me out, like he could tell that I knew a lot of chicks.”

At that moment, the basement door swung open, revealing Bob and Donna, whose head was still stuck to the side.

“Eric, I can’t believe you crippled my angel! My pride and joy!” Bob cried out. “It’s killing me to see her like this.”

Eric’s eyebrows furrowed. “Well, then why are you bringing her here then?”

“Oh, I have a date,” Bob said, any sign of distraught gone. “Met a lady at the open house. She's got crow's feet, but she works in a sandwich shop, so I bent the rules. See you, Kitten.” He walked out the basement leaving Donna to her boyfriend and friends.

“Look, Donna, I just want to apologize again,” Eric said, eyes following her as she moved to sit down next to him. “You know, I've been thinking about it, and I don't think I ever really wanted to be a chiropractor. I was just, you know, grasping at straws.”

Donna turned her body to look at him. “You know I’d nod in agreement, but I’m paralyzed.”

“Eric, you know what I’m realizing about you? You’re not good at anything,” Kelso said, smiling at his friend’s misfortune.

“That’s not true,” Fez spoke up. “Don’t forget butt wiping.”

“What?” Y/n asked, confused.

“Don’t ask, it was a circle thing,” Hyde whispered to her.

Eric clicked his tongue in offense. “Oh, you know what? You guys suck. Whenever you're in trouble, I don't burn you. I mean, usually 'cause it's hard for me to think of things right on the spot, but also 'cause, you know, I try to help.”

“That's actually true. I mean, Fez, remember when you wanted to learn how to kiss, and Eric taught you by sticking m&m's to the mirror?” Donna said.

Everyone turned to Fez with amused grins and raised eyebrows.

“What?” Fez asked, sweat beads forming on his brow. “That never happened. I know how to kiss. Oh, shut it, Donna.”

“Yeah, and, Kelso, how about that time I stayed up with you all night to study for that math final. I mean, sure, nothing stuck, but, you know, I blame nature for that,” Eric continued.

“You know Forman, if you can teach Fez how to kiss and Kelso how to do math, you can probably teach anybody anything. Why don't you just become a teacher?” Hyde suggested.

“Hey, Eric, that’s a great idea!” Y/n said, excitedly. “Remember when you taught me to drive? You were so patient and didn’t give up even when I kept hitting the curbs.”

“You still do,” Hyde mumbled.

“What?” Y/n snapped.

“What?” Hyde repeated.

“I’m not a driver!” she defended.

“No offense, Y/n, but I’m afraid for you children when they’re in the car with you,” Kelso said. Y/n grabbed the nearest object by her, which was a tennis ball, and threw it at him. “OW! I said no offense!”

“Shut up, Kelso!” Y/n yelled.

“You know, that makes a lot of sense,” Donna said. “I mean, you have all this knowledge about stuff you have no ability to do.”

Eric thought about it for a minute before his face brightened. “A teacher? Well, I do like helping people. I mean, I'd love to help kids. Yeah. Like, ‘Mr. Forman.’ That just feels really great. Yeah, a teacher. That just feels so... right.”

“That’s it. Forman’s going to be a teacher!” Hyde announced. “This calls for a toast!”

They all grabbed a beer except for Y/n, who sat there pouting.

“Sorry, Y/n,” Hyde shrugged. “To Forman!”

“To Forman!” Everyone cheered.

                                           --Time Skip-- “You sure you want these colors?” Hyde asked Y/n as they stood at the painting store. “Because you know once we paint the walls, we’re not changing it.”

“Yes, I’m sure,” she chirped. “It’s going to be so pretty.”

“Cool. It’s going to be cool,” he corrected. “But, okay.”

Y/n beamed as they bought two cans of paint.

                                             The Next Day…

The doorbell to the Forman house rang in the late morning. Red got up from the den from shining his shoes. When he opened the door, Connor and his father stood there.

Red squared his shoulders and straightened his back. “Connor, Chuck.”

“Hey, Red,” Chuck said, frowning. “I heard you threatened my boy yesterday.”

“Yeah, I did," Red answered honestly. “What about it?”

“I don’t appreciate the way you talked to him.”

“Well, that’s a damn shame,” Red responded dryly. “Is that all?”

“No!” Chuck yelled, causing Red to raise his eyebrows at him. “You apologize to him right now!”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me, Red.”

“Okay, you want me to apologize? Fine. I’m sorry that your son is a piece of no-good, smug piece of crap who takes advantage of young girls!” he roared. “And I am so sorry that I wasted my time being nice to either of you!”

“Now, you listen here, Forman—” Chuck started, but was cut off.

“I don’t know where you got this entitlement, Chuck, but you certainly didn’t get this from serving with me during Korea. And for you to come here, to my house, demanding that I apologize to you and your kid for the way he treated me daughter than you are out of mind because I ain’t do nothing for you or human garbage of a son. He’s lucky I don’t press charges against him!”

“This isn’t about your loose daughter, Red,” Chuck said. “This is about how you spoke to my boy.”

Red’s face distorted into a look that Chuck hadn’t seen the war. “What the hell did you just say about my daughter?!”

“Oh, come on, don’t be dumb,” Chuck continued. “I know you, Red, and you are so far from it. She probably had it coming. I mean, you probably heard all the stories about her. And giving her current situation, I can’t believe you’d be this blind.”

Connor stood there at the door with a smug look knowing they were getting under Red’s skin.

“Get the hell off my property before I do to you what I did to the Koreans!” Red threatened, his body shaking from anger.

“No, not until we get our apology!” Chuck demanded.

“I’ll tell you what. You get to walk out of here alive, how bout that?”

Chuck straightened his body, matching Red’s energy. “You don’t want to mess with me, Forman. You remember me during the war.”

“Yeah?” Red challenged. “Why don’t you remind me?”      

                                                            Meanwhile…

Up in the nursery, Kitty, Y/n, and Steven were painting the walls, revealing it to be a beautiful light green. “You kids picked a lovely color,” Kitty complimented. “It doesn’t matter if you have boys or girls, it’s going to match either way.”

“Thank you, Mom,” Y/n responded as she rolled paint onto the wall. “And thank you for letting us paint the room. It means a lot.”

“Of course, dear. I’m just so excited to meet my grandbabies!”

Hyde got down from the latter with his white shirt covered in paint and wiped some sweat off his brow. “You know, Y/n, I don’t know if I feel comfortable with you being this close and huffing in these chemicals.”

“I’m fine, Steven.”

“I don’t know. I think maybe you should let me do the painting and then you can help with everything else once I’m done.”

“Steven, I can help!”

“Okay, well, while you two decide on that, I’m going to go get some lemonade,” Kitty announced and made her way to the door, opening it. “Does that sound—”

A yelp and the sound of something heavy thumping to the floor cut Kitty off mid sentence. “What was that?”

She didn’t wait for an answer as she and the Hydes rushed to the top of the stairs before seeing Red standing at the door, screaming.

“You want to be next?!” Silence. “Then get the hell out of here! And I better never see you two sorry asses ever again! Do I make myself clear?!”  

The three stumbled their way halfway down the stairs to see what was going on. Connor was staring down at his unconscious dad with a wild and angry look in his eyes. Before he let him answer, Red slammed the front door and examined his knuckles that were bleeding. As he made his way back to the kitchen, he finally looked up to his family who was staring back at him in shock.

“Oh, hey. You—uh—may want to call an ambulance,” was all he said as he walked into the kitchen to tend to his hand.

“Red, honey?” Kitty called after him. “Red, what happened?”

“Nothing,” he responded as he made his through the kitchen and over to the sink.

The three of them followed him and saw him running cold water on his hand.

“Well, that doesn’t look like nothing!” Kitty shrieked and scrambled to get the first aid kit.

“I learned today that Chuck is just as big of a prick as his son,” Red grumbled, not daring to meet everyone’s eyes.

“Daddy…did you punch Connor’s dad?” Y/n asked.

“I did what I had to do, sweetheart,” he responded and looked at his daughter with soft eyes and smiled. “All I gotta say is, I don’t think you have to worry about that boy anymore.”

Y/n swore she could cry right there, but instead walked over and wrapped her arms around his middle. “Thank you, Daddy.”

“Of course, pumpkin.” He turned the water off and grabbed the towel that was laying on the counter beside him. “Just do me a favor and don’t let any other ex-boyfriends come back to the house, yeah?”

Y/n chuckled. “I’ll try my damn hardest.”

Hyde looked over to Kitty who didn’t look happy or impressed at all. “Come on, Doll, let’s leave your parents alone and go upstairs,” he said quietly and guided his wife through the kitchen.

A beat of silence passed before Kitty spoke up. “What on earth were you thinking?” Kitty started. “Do you have any idea what could’ve happened?”

“I’m sorry, Kitty. He started saying some horrible things about Y/n and I lost it,” he explained. “I’ll tell you what, though, he’s going to need a good dentist. There’s no way he’s going to be able to put his teeth back to normal.”

“Well, in that case,” said and pointed to the table. “Sit. I need to make sure you don’t get an infection.”

It was quiet between them as she started tending to his knuckles. “Gosh, you haven’t done this since we started dating and Frankie Wallace was making passes at me during the military ball.”

“Well, what can I say? I gotta protect what’s mine.”

Her eyes glanced up to meet her husband’s before going back down to his hand. “That’s very sweet, but I think what you did was stupid.”

“What’s stupid was challenging me in my own house about my daughter. It’s not like I didn’t warn him beforehand.”

“We already don’t have a lot of friends, now we’re really not going to,” she scolded. “Red, we’ve become that house!”

“Good! Maybe those dumbasses will finally get the message! I don’t like it when my family gets threatened!”

Kitty finished up wrapped his knuckles and started putting things away. “Well, I’m just glad you’re okay.”

“I’m fine, honey, I promise.”

Kitty’s demeanor changed as she scooted closer to him. “Well, I got to make sure that my big, strong, hunk of a protector is okay. Wouldn’t want him getting hurt or anything.”

Red’s looked down at Kitty, eyes hooded. “That’s my job.”

“So, Handsome, what’re you doing later?”

Red chuckled and leaned over, kissing his wife. “That.”

They looked at each other for moment before they scurried off upstairs.

                                         A Few Minutes Later…

“Steven, honey, I’m fine!” Y/n argued. “I don’t want you to worry about me! I’m fine!”

“I’m not worried about you,” he said back. “I’m worried about the babies.”

“Quit treating me like I’m fragile!”

“You kind of are! Until my kids come out of you, it’s my job to make sure you or the babies don’t get hurt!”

“And that’s really sweet, but—” she was cut off by the sound of springs squeaking. “What is that?”

Hyde furrowed his brows in concentration as he listened. “Well, I did see your parents run into their room not long ago.” The realization finally hit them both. “Ugh, not again!”

Y/n turned to her parents door. “Oh, come on! Other people live here!”

Taglist: @not-shy-nanya @taysirene @maddieschampagneproblems @mdittyz123 @undead-sierra @random-thoughts-004 @lieswithoutfairytales @chloem4a1 @srhxpc @zhonglibxitch @leothesquishy

[clovis-enthusiast]

Hey Clovis, with Mother’s Day around the corner, I’m curious: are you close with your mom? Will you be celebrating with her?

(ooc: not me answering this months later 💀)

"huh, oh mother's day? that was... ah... a week ago or something, right? *yawn* yeah im close with my ma mère. my mom, i mean. i don't see her a lot physically anymore since ive got *yaaawwwnnn* counselor duties and whatnot, but i talk to her in my dreams at least once a week or so. try to at least. even just a small check-in with a nice hug is better than nothing."

"i see my dad far more often than my mom because... you know... i do be sleepin' and hypnos is actually one of the more attentive godly parents, but i grew up with my mom so she'll always have that edge though i love them both a lot."

"*yawwwnnn* oh, yeah. the other question. i asked nico to shadow travel me to see mom on mothers day. brought her some cookies the dryads made since she loves sweet stuff. also gave her a fleece tie blanket i made in arts and crafts that took me... well... approximately A Long Time to finish but she loved it and she smiled a lot and thanked me and told me she loved me and gave me a hug and *yawn* it was really nice. what was Not really nice was will badgering me and nico later because apparently will wants me to leave my cabin and go outside but when i ask nico very nicely to shadow travel me somewhere he gets all grumpy. *shrug* beggars cant be choosers."

"but yeah... yeah. i love my mom." 💙

(ooc/headcanons under the cut)

hi hi!! so i headcanon that clovis's mom was originally from france (hence his very french name) and moved to new york under the guidance of hypnos through dreams in order to get his son to camp without being too far away from his mama. his mom speaks almost solely french and very little english so clovis grew up speaking french AND english since he attended public schooling before going to camp and switching to be a year round camper after he became the head counselor of his cabin.

i imagine they are very close. his mother had to be very attentive with clovis due to his narcolepsy and hypersomnia. as a baby and toddler, it was often difficult to figure out if he needed to be fed or was sick etc. because he slept so much, and he also was slower to learn how to walk and hit other developmental milestones because of that. due to his mother speaking little to no english, as clovis got older, he often stayed by her side when he wasnt at school to help translate.

i have two ideas for what his mother does career-wise. one idea is that she works in a library which is why and where clovis obtained a ton of his knowledge about mythology aside from his dreams. the one i default to though is that she owns a small bakery (nearby a library) where she handmakes everything. clovis used to "work" there as well, usually to translate, but he grew up around his mother's baking so he is actually a very good baker! not many people know this since he's usually asleep which is a tragedy truly. now that his mom can speak and understand english a bit better and was also able to get enough funds to hire a translator once clovis became a year round camper, clovis doesnt venture down there too often. every once in a while though, he will ask for someone (usually nico) to go with him to visit his mom for a bit.

his mom has met and greatly enjoys the people he has befriended including but not limited to annabeth, nico, will, and lou ellen. she's very chatty and very generous so she often tries to convince clovis and his friends to stay for a homecooked dinner or spend the night. she also still has clovis's bedroom all set up and cozy for whenever he decides to drop by, just in case.

also, chiron actually helps clovis's mom out on the down low by allowing her to take some of the camp's strawberries for her baked goods under the agreement that she will send some over sometime which she is more than happy to do!

as stated above, i think clovis has, at the very least, weekly dream check-ins with his mom. he might not always have a lot to share but his mom adores him and listens to every word. on rare occasions, sometimes even clovis's half-siblings, his friends, or hypnos himself will stumble/be pulled into these check-ins and they'll all have a lovely lil hangout sesh.

but YEAH!! clovis loves him mama, and his mama loves him!!

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

More:

My brother was with a girl who threw things at him and constantly hit him. And he would just stand there and take it because he didn't want to hit her back knowing what the result would be. My sisters didn't like that so they went after her. Huge fight among them, but my brother still didn't break up with her. She finally chose drugs over him and left. At least for my brother we all believed him. But I doubt other people would.

His current GF (might be an ex now, waiting to hear back), hit him and then threatened to tell the cops he hit her. She's an alcoholic and would fight everyone. She went after my niece and they called the cops, and the first thing the cops did when they got there was arrest my brother, who had just gotten home from work. My mom came out screaming at them that he didn't do anything. But that's how bad it is, they go after the first male they see for a domestic violence case when it was between two women,!

-

I was 15, sexually abused by my manager at my first job, one of the biggest fast food joints, Not once, but four times. Someone spotted the abuse and reported it to corporate and she got a promotion. I quit and my father ignored it. Police said the company handled it. Men who are abused are ignored... because it’s not “supposed to be possible”

-

I once had to do a presentation for a gender studies sort of course, and so having a friend who was abused by his girlfriend I chose to discuss the double standard in physical abuse. You'd think I was the devil incarnate - the women in the class glared and glared and glared for me raising the possibility that a woman hitting a man should be taken seriously.

-

My dad went through something like this. She threw plates and a bunch of other random objects at him, he was bleeding in several places and she called the police.

Despite that me and all of her kids told police that she was the aggressor they didn't care. He was arrested and a restraining order was on him before he even got out a few days later. We ended up homeless and lived in an old boxing ring for about 2 weeks before our local church helped out.

It was also his 3rd time dealing with police completely ignoring him when a woman was aggressive. It made me feel like women could just do anything they want as I grew up and I completely avoided them and relationships in general for a long time.

I'm 38 now and it still makes me uneasy

-

I lost my virginity bc a girl (who I had said NO to) mounted up and rode me while I was passed out drunk. I woke up from what I thought was a wet dream finishing inside her with no protection. It messed with me pretty hard because I'd been trying to save my virginity for a serious girlfriend or someone other than just some girl I barely knew. Not to mention the fact that I had no idea if I was about to be an unwilling father (thankfully that was not the case).

My friends just kind of said "well...at least you got laid, right?". I can't really blame them because it took a while (like, years) for me to even realize that what happened was clearly rape. Wrapping our college-age heads around the fact a guy could get raped was tough, I guess.

I also got sexually harassed by a pair of women at a job in college and telling people about it was met with attempts to high-five me.

-

Laughed at, mocked, put down. Even had video of her hitting/kicking/ abusing me and people just made fun of me and the situation even worse. It was not real to them.

-

The sexual abuse hotline counselor asked me if I was even into women when I told her what happened and then made excuses for her bc “she was drunk and acting on instinct”.

-

Tried to tell a few people. No one really believed me in my circle of friends. They were able to convince their friends that I was the abuser. The last straw was when they used a taser. That shit hurts and left burns. That truly was the last straw because it left enough evidence that I could use to document the abuse and get out. Without physical evidence it was word against word and as the male, no one believed me.

-

They didn’t believe me at first. And then they saw her do it to me. Her friends believed me before my own friends did. They said that they knew she was like that and that she was aggressive and physically abusive to them sometimes and her own mother.

I was with her for 18 months of hell. At first it was normal and cute and fun and then she started being really strange. First it was telling me I couldn’t have friends who are girls. Then it was I couldn’t have friends. Then it was the hitting and punching and kicking me. She said she was pregnant before she was pregnant and didn’t let me use protection with her and if I wasn’t into fucking her then she’d just fuck me anyways.

The kicker that really stuck with me all these years is when she was beating the fuck out of me and accidentally called her mom and she heard her yelling and screaming and thought I was hurting her so she called the police and her parents and police both showed up at my house asking if everything was okay and if I was hurting her. She said confidently “He didn’t hurt me I was hitting him” and the police and her parents both just kinda accepted that and told her to leave my house and go back to her parents for the night. No arrests. No talking to her about how wrong it was. Just a slap on the wrist after flat out telling police she was hitting me. Didn’t ask if I wanted to press charges. Didn’t ask if I was okay. Just were relieved it wasn’t me hitting her.

-

I had been attacked by now ex wife. I said something that made her mad and it wasn't the first time. She hit me in the back of the head with a rolling pin. I yelled and the neighbors called the cops. When they arrived I was still beading. I was then handcuffed and sat on the curb while they investigated the issue. My ex eventually confessed she hit me because she was mad at me. I never raised a hand at her during the incident but I was then taken to the police station and I was booked. I was released the next day after they determined i wasn't the aggressor. I was told on my release that if I antagonize her again its my fault and I deserve what I get.

-

Continued:

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jidoph/men_who_are_abused_by_woman_and_tried_to_tell/

=

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Duluth_model

The feminist theory underlying the Duluth Model is that men use violence within relationships to exercise power and control.

According to the Duluth Model, "women and children are vulnerable to violence because of their unequal social, economic, and political status in society."

Criticism of the Duluth Model has centered on the program's sexist insistence that men are perpetrators who are violent because they have been socialized in a patriarchy that condones male violence, and that women are victims who are violent only in self-defense.

https://home.csulb.edu/~mfiebert/htdocs/assaults_bib343_201307.doc

Abstract: This bibliography examines 343 scholarly investigations; 270 empirical studies and 73 reviews and/or analyses, which demonstrate that women are as physically aggressive, or more aggressive, than men in their relationships with their spouses or male partners.  The aggregate sample size in the reviewed studies exceeds 440,850.

#SystemicSexism

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for (accidentally) killing my best friend's ex?

(tw for mention of suicide, murder and blood)

I (17, f) started to suspect I have superpowers the same day as the school counselor gave me a diary to write to and my best friend D (~17, f) announced me she's dating a popular jock - I'll call him BL - (~17, m) from my school. I personally think he's terrible.

(Something about my superpowers. I don't control them. It's more like that they control me. They appear when I'm angry or scared or upset.)

Anyway, a couple of days later I found D crying in a party. Apparently she and BL had gotten into a fight, and he asked for his (ugly as fuck) jacket back. I comforted D, then realised I have feelings for her. As soon as she calmed down, I kissed her. She didn't kiss back, and left immediately. It was very awkward. I avoided her and BL (whom she later made up with) for a couple of days.

When we all found ourselves in detention, BL asked me to make a truce, since he'd figured out I don't like him very much - wow, I wonder what gave it away. I hesitantly agreed, only to overhear him and another girl talking about having hooked up the night of the party. I, of course, told D, who immediately broke up with him. Me and D got into a fight the next day, but made up by the end of the week.

At prom night, me and D went together. We had loads of fun and, for once, I felt free. While we were slow-dancing, she brought up the kiss. She said that she didn't not like it but, before she could say anything else, BL came up on stage - probably drunk. He had stolen my diary! He started exposing all my secrets: first that I was in love with D, then that I was going through some family problems - my dad committed suicide last year and didn't even leave a note (long story), my mom has stopped caring about me, I accidentally killed my brother's pet hedgehog and got him in trouble with a bully (even longer story). As he was about to reveal to the whole school my last secret, my superpowers kicked in. I blew up his head.

Everybody started screaming and running. D kneeled next to him, crying. We were both covered head to toe in blood. I stumbled out of the building as the police came to the school.

In my defense, he was very rude to me, stole my diary, outed me to the whole school, cheated on my best friend and had threatened me before. Plus I didn't do this on purpose. I just wanted him to shut up.

So, I'm letting Tumblr decide. Am I the asshole?

[romanarose]

tw bulimia anxorexia talk, in the past.

My mom told me recently that when I was 14/15 she thought I had an eating disorder. She didn't do anything. Didn't talk to me until I was 17 and asked if I was bulimic bc she saw oatmeal in the sink? I said no and she said okay. I was bulimic in the sense my purges were excessive exercize.

But prior to that I told mom I was eating 50 calories a day and she said good job. I was bike riding like 3-5 hours a day that summer and she said good job?

When I was 17, after she asked me about the bulimia, I developed what became my severe and traditional bulimia. I was violently bulmic. At the peak, I was throwing up blood, and was also working out excessivly.

When my mom told me she thought i had an eating disorder (as it was developing but before it truly became a disorder.), she said "I mean, we all did it. I couldn't get it to stick with me"

When my parents found out I was suicicdal and actively selfharming my mom said I needed to go to therapy and i was like hell yeah! I've been wanting to go to therapy forever! and I was supossed to go to my school counselor who i love and get set up. The next morning mom was like actually you dont really need to go to therapy if you dont want to.

mom, you found posts I made talking about wanting to die, how I had cuts all over my body, I was bulimic, I was suffering every single day and you didn't think I needed therapy? I immidietly was like no Im going.

She once sat my 12 year old sister down and said she needed to stop eating so much because she was getting fat. (found that out last year)

Even after they found the social media of me talking about cutting and bulimia I continued cutting and being bulimic through high school and college. Not that mom had any control over college but still as a teen she never brought it up again, never asked how i was doing and continued to encourage when I was on an extreme restriction. She never hid razors even though she was sobbing telling me she was afraid to leave me alone in my room. She made that whole incident of finding out about her feelings.

I am constantly reminded by the difference of the mom i have now and the mom i used to have. My mom now is kind and understanding and listens to me.

My mom as a teen, I have to remind myself, was not a good mom. Im not crazy. I wasn't crazy.

I love my mom so much

But she did not take properly care of me.

Her and my dad and my grandma shamed my body my whole life, my dad being a fucking creep about it and I never had a fucking chance. Bulimia mixed with OCD is a fucking horrible thing and i spent years into recovery suffering esophageal spasms and ulcers and stomach issues due to my bulmia

[sparklywatercolors]

Content warning suicide mention

Hello kitty just as an extra divider :

So for like my whole life my mother has been declaring she wants to commit suicide at least 10 times a day. Mostly when she talks to me.

I lost an old friend to suicide about a month and a half ago and so hearing my mom throw this at me, despite knowing it's a huge trigger for me. And lately I know she's been stressed with everything going on from my abusive grandma to my dad being awful, she's amped it up. And I've been genuinely worried about her.

On Tuesday I had my doctor's appointment 20 minutes before my mom had hers, and we have the same doctor (family doctor) and I said to him hey I'm really worried about my mom she's been doing this for months what do I do. And he told me she needs help and he'll see what he can do.(Cause he asked me how my home life is)

Well the ride home was dead silent until she was like I'm not mad at you (biggest lie in the book)

And now he's making her go to his office every week and mandating she finds a counselor soon / proves she's working on looking for one or else she will be hospitalized. And I just feel like shit that I put her through this. She was screaming at my dad about how nobody cares about her and that she feels unloved throughout dinner.

I can't live with this anymore. This is the 4th night I haven't slept bc of my own issues. I'm falling apart and yet it feels like my mother is going to resent me. And you know what, fine.

And then my mom of course having to report to my piece of shit grandma tells grandma she has to be in the doctor's every week. And my grandma (who tells my mom if she wants to kill herself then do it and stop being a baby. Yeah a real nice lady huh,) wants to know why. And my mom stood up to her mother (FOR ONCE proud of u mama) and told her it's not her business.

I fucking resent and hate my grandma. What a horrible person.

And I'm supposed to be excited bc my partner is coming to stay with us for a bit, and I am! But mom says "I'd love to meet (partner) if I'm still here"

I can't live with this anymore. I can't deal with it. I'm literally shaking and feeling like vomiting when recounting all of this.

But I was told I don't have anxiety 🫡.

[field4thought]

there's a frog in mom's throat (essay)

In my first memory, I am about three or four years old. My father and mother are lying in their bed and chatting, sometime in either the early morning or late afternoon, judging by the rays of light that had reflected through the floating dust (fairy dust, I thought) onto the floor. My mother was sick, and she sounded funny when she spoke. My father told me she had a frog in her throat. I climbed onto the bed, sat on her stomach (which did not feel to great for her, but was perfectly fine for me), and leaned forward. "Can I see?"

Dad explained that there was not a literal frog, and that it just meant she sounded croaky. I was disappointed.

After that, I don't remember anything for about a decade. When I'm reminded of a particular moment, I see something for a brief instant, but the scene always disappears before it comes into focus. My therapist said it's common for people who have experienced childhood trauma. The person I dated in eleventh grade said maybe that's why I keep repeating the same mistakes. All my mother had to say was, "We'll work on it." We did not, in fact, work on it.

I think my mother regrets that she was not perhaps the best mother she could have been. No, let me rephrase that: My mother was not the best mother, and she regrets it deeply. When we talked about the cuts on my body, she said she felt like she'd "fucked me up" in some way. To be entirely fair, she did - she told me that she couldn't wait until I was eighteen and left the house. I was in first grade at the time.

Now I am eighteen, and we are doing much better. She still says hurtful things, but I can now tell when she means what she says and when she is just snapping because of her untreated mental ailments. It still isn't great when she says she hates me and my siblings and should never have been a mother, but at least I can tell when the chemicals have gone sideways. That's more than I had when I was seven.

We talk now, sometimes. I ask her for advice on how to make friends. She asks me for advice on how to relate to her other teenagers. She understands me the most out of all of us kids, and that's because we're so alike. Nobody else in my family could read an entire book composed of one guy's essays like I am right now. Nobody else really appreciates getting up before the sunrise and taking a mug of tea into the woods. I am definitely her child, even if I don't carry her blood.

It's odd, the relationship I have with my mother. Oftentimes, I am afraid to speak to her about something, so I wait a week or two until we are alone in the car and doing an Uber Eats order to tell her things. "I'm cutting" is something I know she never wanted to hear from her children, especially followed by the word "again."

What really started this openness between us was a night in early October of my senior year in high school. I told her that she had never cared about me, quoting the time in my sophomore year when the first thing she said after hearing from my school counselor that I might be suicidal was about how the counselor had said Harrisen instead of my legal name. That night, three police officers put me in the back of a squad car and drove me to the hospital. I went to a mental hospital instead of wherever people who jump off bridges go.

She visited me once, halfway through my stay. She said almost nothing, and neither did I. Dad mostly updated me on everything that I was missing out on, including his friend from Germany visiting. He came to the States the day I went to the hospital and he left the same day I did. There's probably something symbolic there, about how being suicidal has kept me from the larger world. About how the call of the pills or the chemicals under the sink is louder than the call of new things, and how bed rot can take root in your mind and cause fungus to grow in your brain.

When I came home from the psyc ward, I unloaded a lot of information on her about a week after. I had a friend who had committed suicide. I had been cutting myself in various ways since I was eight. I had been doing most of my self destructive behaviors because it was the only thing that felt good, that gave me a high. Adrenaline is as close as I have been able to get to dopamine for years now.

I still have trouble remembering things. Even this past Christmas and my eighteenth birthday are fuzzy, and that was only two and a half months ago. All I will have of my years is held in my poems, my stories, and my photos. For a while, I would delete everything I came across that was more than a month or two old. Then J stopped doing that. I started paying more attention, finding the one out of focus bird on the rooftop in the corner and thinking, 'oh, that's why I took this.' I read through my poetry document, which at this point has years of my work in it and is over a hundred pages long, and I think about where I've been and who I've been in those places.

Hindsight is a bitch, but she's also my best friend. We're joined at the hip. It's a toxic friendship, but I'm short on friends right now, and I'll take what I can get.