#once again take this all with a grain of salt

[stinkybrowndogs]

gsps really are the most Dog of all dog breeds

I’m honestly surprised there are not more shorthairs on dogblr. What’s the hold up people. They are basically just a Malinois minus the teeth and brains and there are like 50 of those bopping around on this site! That and gsps are truly a dime a dozen. I could go on Craigslist right now and find a few byb litters. (I won’t. But I could.)

In all seriousness I think it has to do with the fact that the people who enjoy them unfortunately tend to lean conservative 😓 especially once you get into the hunting community. Being obviously gay or trans in hunting spaces is not super comfortable or safe feeling and I can only imagine being non-white in these spaces as well. That and the popular training methods used for gun dogs are… interesting. To say the least.

Some snippets of the books I was given when I was trying to get into hunting :

That isn’t to say that these are completely void of any useful information, there are lot of simple training steps that make perfect sense for the task the dogs are doing. But I think you have to take some of this with a grain of salt; when I was trying to get into hunting I found that I was able to achieve the same results with less adverse methods, plus my mentor was much more versed in modern dog training and conditioning. Brandy’s training is more of a blend of the two- the most adverse tools we used was a woah- harness (phased out pretty quickly) and an e-collar for long distance recall (again, there is a bit of a trade off of comfort for safety- the dogs job in the field necessitates being off leash and pushing out far ahead of the handler, and they can quickly get out of sight or earshot. Having a Vibrate-based recall cue simply makes sense. This should be paired with a gps collar just in case… I was told many a horror story of dogs falling into mine shafts and only being found because of the gps Tag).

Force fetching was never on the table. I saw one handler with a rubber bumper covered in toothpicks so his dog would not bite down too hard on it… never had to do that either. I’ve never had to strap an e-collar to my dogs belly. I don’t have to force my dog into a down to teach her. I don’t step on her toes (on purpose).

Her WOAH command maybe took longer than I would have liked, but it’s solid with lots of practice. Her recall is great and regularly practiced, and I don’t need an e-collar to reinforce it. She has a wonderful natural fetch, though we never formalized it. She’s beautiful when she’s on point, and it’s amazing to just see her do exactly what she was meant to do with little input from me. Truly no greater feeling than watching her cross back and forth across a field in front of me and freeze into a perfect point. It’s like she wants to chase the bird/rabbit/whatever SO BAD she’s shaking but her genetics won’t let her.

If I had the money to get back into hunting and falconry I would do it in a heartbeat. It’s a hobby that’s been sidelined since losing my job for obvious reasons, and it’s the first thing I want to pick up when I have a more stable income. If and when that will happen, I am unsure

What the fuck were we talking about. Oh yeah.

Dogs of all time for sure. But very much a dog that is good at the one thing they are good at, and if you DON’T do that thing, they can be…. A bit much. Being so environmentally focused can be difficult for people I think. It’s just not what many people are looking for (even though they give world class cuddles). That and the energy level; I don’t think it’s too bad, especially now that they are older (we go out for runs like 2-3 times a week) but also I simply would not leave the house if there were no consequences, so having a creature that will dismantle my furniture if I do not go get some vitamin D is a great motivator. The dichotomy of being a Velcro dog and being nearly oblivious to their handler when they are off leash is interesting, and probably why you don’t really see them in many sporting dog circles, or working outside of hunting. You gotta cement that recall before you let them off leash, ESPECIALLY being able to recall off of wildlife, and you gotta work really hard to reinforce handler engagement. I joke that Brandy is an idiot, but everything she needs to be able to do seems to be hardwired into her, and the things I had to teach her (recall, leave it, drop it, WOAH ect) she picked up quickly and hardly ever has issues with. (Dont talk to me about loose leash walking though)

Regardless, I love their personalities, their niche behaviors, their energy level, their ability to be the goofiest silliest idiots, their soft soft floppy ears, I love how they talk back to me when I talk to them, I love their big booming barks and club feet. I love that we are ultimately exploring the world together, and the joy we share when running through the woods or on the beach. I love watching them leap into the river with reckless abandon. And then at the end of the day, all they want to do is get under the covers with me and fall asleep. They are perfect monsters and I can’t see myself without them.

[dalt0nyc0]

TvNotas Magazine featuring Ana de la Reguera y Tony Dalton. November 19th, 2019.

This is a tabloid filled with gossip however it is a magazine I own that features Tony so I figured I’d post it. It’s about their breakup and Tony not ready to get married.

[haveihitanerve]

Vicky Vale: would you kill yourself if Batman asked you to? Robin(Dick): thats a bad question Vicky: why? Robin(Dick): *makes eye contact with her camera* because my father would never ask me to do that.  ~~~ Vicky: would you kill yourself for the Batman? Robin(Tim): No. Vicky: no? Tell me why. Robin(Tim): *makes eye contact with her camera* because the Batman would never let me.  ~~~ Vicky: would you kill the Batman if he turned on you? Robin(Jason): No. Vicky: you wouldn't? Why not? Robin(Jason): *makes eye contact with her camera* because I Gotham needs the Batman. And I would never do anything to harm Gotham.  ~~~ Vicky: if the Batman asked you to, would you kill him? Robin(Steph): No, never Vicky: even if he was dangerous?? Why not? Robin(Steph): *makes eye contact with her camera* because he’s dangerous now. And I would never dare to harm the one person who actually cares about me the people of Gotham and not just himself.  ~~~ Vicky: Would you take a bullet for the Batman? Robin(Damian): undoubtedly. But I never will. Vicky: no? Why not? Robin(Damian): *makes eye contact with her camera* because my father would shield me and take the bullet instead.

[ratatatastic]

they asked luosty about the paul quote on mikksy

and he just smirks to himself as he tries to find his words to answer the question in way that gets no one in trouble

[valewritessss]

The amount of criticism and hate the wottg book is getting makes me scared to like it bc it feels like if I do then I’m doing something wrong😅

[swagging-back-to]

worst trope is found family separating as soon as the antagonist is dealt with.

[deathsbestgirl]

okay i'm gonna try this again because i think i can say it better:

my post about mulder wasn't to say he's perfect or literally never done anything wrong or to hurt scully. i'm a mulder apologist to the extreme (scully too if you haven't noticed), but that isn't what i was doing.

mulder isn't doing it *to* her. he's doing what he does, he's working, he's following a path simultaneously set out for him & that he forged. he isn't intentionally doing anything to her, and he isn't being thoughtless or an asshole. that's so extremely reductive to me. yes i keep referencing trauma, because this fandom talks endlessly about scully's and dismisses mulder's. (all that the path to hell is paved with good intentions.)

but mainly what i'm talking about is that he's not responsible for her abduction, cancer, emily, melissa, etc etc. like i stated in the post. and somehow, he's still getting blamed for these things? as if it isn't the fault of aliens & the conspiracy of men & csm. literally everyone except mulder because he did not have a hand in it, he did not orchestrate any of it. a lot of the things scully goes through is because of these men who think they're gods, who have too much money & too much power. and the other chunk of it is the dangers of their job. which scully is aware of and she still chose then fbi. it's literally at the core of why she chose it, even if it takes her time to figure it out.

mulder does a lot because of his trauma & because he wants to believe, and it's all stepped in love. the alternative to not believing is terrifying for him — the way believing is terrifying for scully. they are so similar, but still fundamentally different. their approaches, their childhoods, their perspectives, what they cling to. they both deal with their trauma in different ways, and one very similar way: diving into work, using it to bury what they can't yet face or deal with, or bring into the light (each other).

anytime i talk about trauma, i don't mean "every single thing he did was perfectly okay because trauma" — i just mean people need room to figure that out and it isn't something he does *to* her. @actual-changeling said it pretty well here. intentions don't erase hurt but he's never tried to hurt her, and she's never tried to hurt him. it doesn't mean it didn't hurt them and of course that's valid. but it still isn't even what i was talking about. but i guess i'm going to anyway.

a huge part of their relationship is learning to communicate clearly & openly. people aren't just born knowing how to do it, and certainly not people with their history. this is how you heal & grow. (yes therapy can help, but it's extremely hard to do alone. because healing in relationship, in my opinion, is the most effective way. someone who will stick around for the hard parts, work with you through trial & error. loving you through your mistakes & struggles, as you're learning/unlearning. and it goes both ways.)

mulder carries guilt for things that aren't his fault (as does scully). i understand talking about it in this respect, but that isn't what i see very often. it's how horrible he is for what he does to her & puts her through. when most of what happens to scully is because of the job & csm & the syndicate. scully understood the dangers of her job. in irresistible, she tells karen kosseff she's aware there's predators in the world, it's her job to bring justice to these people and she needs to believe she's capable. she couldn't open up to mulder in that way yet, so she dealt with it in her own way. (she does this with her family too, she's the strong one.) later in the cancer arc, she admits to karen kosseff that she relies on mulder & his strength — but the only way she opened up emotionally, with true vulnerability, was in the letters she wrote to him in a journal. that she intended him to have after her death. it takes her years to just call him and not hang up when she needs him, and really it happens in fits and starts and backpedaling. but they continuously try! mulder is always trying to let her know she can show him her vulnerability, that he's there to support her. and she does the same for him. there are times they're successful, usually at very trying times for them. where they do talk, they take physical comfort. they learn the ways the other will accept care.

in fire, mulder pushes scully away but he learns it's a way she cares for him. doctorly & physical. he touches her cheek in beyond the sea & firewalker. she touches his arm in squeeze, conduit, pusher. she runs face first into his chest in the pilot, he lifts her chin & hugs her in irresistible. scully covers him in a blanket and pulls his head to her shoulder in herronvolk when his mom is lying in a hospital, near death. they learned each other's minds, what comforts the other and what they will allow and it slowly expands. as does their verbal communication.

i don't mean that his actions don't affect her, but it takes mulder a long time to really understand it because scully does not communicate her feelings, wants, needs. that's something that takes her a long time. there are ways they've both communicated these kinds of things that the other wasn't able to understand, or maybe didn't take seriously because of the circumstances. syzygy, never again, elegy, fight the future, triangle, dreamland, one son. it's why, to me, it's important leonard betts comes after never again. in never again they struggle to communicate, they're not on the same page. the choose silence instead of talking about it. but in leonard betts, he helps her dig through body parts without question. he tells her she did a good job, she should be proud. he didn't get it in never again, but he started to and he did something about it. there are many ways to take responsibility and changed actions, voicing things that matter, that the other person should hear is part of it.

sometimes i just think people are very unforgiving of mulder's struggle, the way he is because of his trauma. and he always does something wrong that's talked about almost like it's unforgivable when that isn't true. even if he was selfish in the cancer arc, he's helpless watching the person he loves most die "because" of him. someone who deserves answers & the truth as much as he does.

it upsets me because it's one of the most realistic & human things about them. it's one of the things handled so beautifully in this show. it's often so raw, the depth of connection & effort & patience & love. despairing yet full of hope & wonder. it so often robs scully of the little agency she does have. it feels dismissive to only focus on scully's. to ignore every step they take together & apart, the ways they change each other, the way they forgive each other everything because they have this intrinsic understanding.

scully's entire arc is difficult to watch, but so much of it is true to the reality of what women experience. yes it's a lot, but it's a tv show. and a scifi horror drama one at that. do they textually cover every single thing? no, but a lot of it is weaved into their cases (kaddish is always a standout to me) and the acting (which if you believe ga, comes across so well in the script she's able to grasp the cancer arc through them alone, not having experience with it herself). there is so much meaning in everything on this show.

the x files is about love because everything mulder (and scully) does is about love, comes from love. and people don't always love perfectly or well. and everyone understands the world & love differently. something else i think is incredibly poignant about their relationship. they keep learning each other until their way of loving completely merges on the foundation of their trust & faith in each other.

[fleetn-crab85]

Idea: The Celestial Toymaker has other "celestial" siblings that are also art/performance related. These are all my own thoughts, so... do what you want with it!

I'll explain more under the cut (WARNINGS for possible blood/gore)

So my idea is that the Toymaker has like 5 siblings that are all different artsy careers

The eldest sibling I call The Poet or The Writer (if we stick to the -er ending with all the names). They keep every thing alive by writing in their version of the Book of Life. They write poetry, short stories, or other forms of prose about whatever they want to keep alive. If The Poet deems you unworthy of living, they will erase your poem. I imagine it being like a literal eraser goes through the person's body, leaving whatever hasn't been erased falling below what's gone. I feel like they wouldn't have much of a domain like the Toymaker, but more of a small, cluttered work space. I imagine them being very reserved, cold, and shy compared to the Toymaker. They have the most responsibility out of the family because of the book, so they're very much no-nonsense and prefer to be alone.

The second eldest I call The Artist or The Painter. They're a lot more chaotic than The Poet, but they still are absorbed by their work. I imagine they have a large studio with every color of paint always available to them. They see visions of different points in time: whether that's key moments in a planet's history or even the death of the universe. Their burden is to create, and so they do. Because of this burden, they have been driven to madness. Their paintings are wild and chaotic, normally having no central focus and being very cryptic. However, The Artist's earlier works were very straightforward, emulating Expressionism-style paintings. Eventually, their visions became too wild and confusing, so their paintings reflected that. Now, The Artist is very irritable and neurotic. If you so happen to cross their path, you're most likely not going to make it out alive. They will see you as a threat to their art, and probably use your blood for paint.

The middle child I call The Musician or The Composer. They don't have a role, unlike the older siblings, and act very similarly to the Toymaker. Their domain is a concert hall, of course, with a little puppet orchestra and audience. Obviously, they create music. Sometimes they give their arrangements to their siblings, but most of the time The Composer is adding onto their "unfinished symphony". This symphony, unfortunately, will remain unfinished until the end of time itself. So, The Composer has resorted to stealing real musicians outside of their domain to add to their orchestra. They are searching for a person who could end their symphony. I feel like The Composer would be very nice at first, they would try to compliment your achievements or other pleasantries. But like the Toymaker, when the mask comes off, The Composer is ruthless and resentful. They will stop at nothing until you join the band.

The second youngest child, to me, is the Toymaker or The Actor. We already know what he's like so I'm not going to spend my time explaining it :)

The youngest child I call the Designer or the Architect, mostly because their work is electronic (like a graphic designer). I imagine they don't spend a lot of time in their domain and spend it pretending to be human with the Toymaker and the Composer. Then what would their domain be? Well I imagine it to be a child's bedroom! They're the youngest of course so why wouldn't it be a child's bedroom. it has a small, chunky computer at a desk where they used to do their work. Now, the Designer spend their time adding life to our world. They can design some pretty nice things, like buildings, clothes, even plants or animals. I feel like they would be the least evil out of the five, since they're the youngest, they haven't discovered their "purpose" yet. The most evil thing they've considered doing is trapping some billionaires in a computer, but that's about it.

If you made it this far down the list, thanks for reading! Feel free to comment with your ideas or opinions about this!

[canonically47]

I'm surprised (/nm) you're saying it should be Ally who goes next...I've seen most people in this fandom say it should be Aiden or Riya

in an ideal world, ally makes it far. in that ideal world, she also has a plotline. we do not live in an ideal world.

[yuelun]

I'm a week late with a stupidly cute icon for Guizhong because it's baby dust flake Guizhong and everyone needs to see her. But also yes, I'm late, I apologise, I like to think it's better late than never.

Tag drop #1: General

[katvazamo]

dudes why do i feel like every time i come online i see each entertainment industry just nuking itself one after the other

[evandorepart2]

oh also when i get to school i need to start like eating lunch...maybe not school lunch but bringing my own stuff. i never ate lunch from middle to highschool cause it was a hassle and also never had money. but that probably did not help cause i would also skip breakfast most times too since i had to get up so early eugh..

[running-in-the-dark]

Sorry stupid question: how do you do the pinning when hemming your own pants? My hands (like most people's) are very far away from my ankles and when I bend over, my pants become a different length than they were before.

oh, I'm definitely no expert at all, but what I usually do is just pin them roughly where I think would be good. then stand up, walk around a little, maybe sit down - just to see how they fit when I'm moving. then I adjust the pins until I think it's good!

I'm sure there's really informative videos on how to do it properly on YouTube if you wanna hear how people who actually know stuff do it :')

[mint-fixates]

There's this weird take I've seen floating around on TikTok that Bill doesn't actually care about his family/dimension or Stanford at all; that we're supposed to take everything in TBOB as non-canon basically because he's lying to garner sympathy from reader to make a deal with them. I'm all for having your own interpretations of media, but I just don't think this idea that Bill is a completely heartless unfeeling creature is supported by canon at all. In fact, it kind of feels like the opposite of the point of the book.

Like, yeah, most things Bill says should be taken with a grain of salt because he lies a lot, but he's not actually a very good liar? It's usually pretty easy to clock when he's full of it. But okay, even if we assume every word Bill says while trying to recruit the reader is a lie, there are three major things that this doesn't account for.

Bill is not the only source in the book. The lost Journal 3 pages were written by Stanford, we only know about the interdimensional Taco Bell incident because of an included police transcript, etc.

Even once he's lost any chance of making a deal with the reader to escape, Bill is having a complete breakdown and mentions all the people he so totally doesn't miss for real you guys. Why bother with reverse psychology double-lying for sympathy once his shot at getting the reader on his side is already gone?

Trying to garner the reader's sympathy makes sense to a certain extent, but why go out of his way to make himself look pathetic? Does revealing that he got drunk and cried over his ex in a fast-food drive-through really help his cause if that cause is to convince the reader he's still a powerful being capable of starting the apocalypse again so they can rule with him?

And that's all without even mentioning that, as previously stated, I think the entire point of the book is missed if we're interpreting Bill as having no genuine feelings or attachments. The book ends with Stanford healing from his past by being open about what he went through with his family and accepting their help, while Bill insists he doesn't need anyone and refuses to heal, actively making himself worse in the process. The clear theme imo is that accepting your past and accepting help from people who love you is essential to healing, while denying those things just makes everything worse. If Bill doesn't actually care about his family, his dimension, Stanford, or anything/anyone else, he has no trauma to heal from or regrets to learn from that he's refusing to accept and deal with, and the entire meaning of the book is made moot.

[bts5sosempire]

A/n: another blurb cuz why tf not? Another Dad!Simon and this man deserve all the softness in the world. Plus, I am not a professional in baby-ology, so take this cute drabble with a grain of salt. 🤟🏻

Simon was convinced his child hated him; the first six months were hard. He might as well get a reward trophy for participation in creating one of the prettiest girls in the world instead. The man tried to get his daughter to get used to him, but every time he hold her, the baby girl realized she wasn't in her mother's arms and they wriggled, before fussing and let out a few cries before going to a full-blown one. Thus, this lead you having to drop whatever you're doing and tend to the baby instead as Simon take over the current chore(s).

"Simon, just give it some time."

The sentence you always use to comfort him, but he still feels a little discouraged, maybe a bit hurt on the inside at the baby's refusal to be in his arms. He was excited for nine months to see his baby girl, but only for her to reject him once she came out of the womb.

"She'll come around, and once she do it'll be worth the wait."

.

The only time the baby seems to stay content in his arms, albeit a little angsty like always when you're not around, and the calmness appears to remain stagnant only for a moment until she starts fussing again; their little whimpers begin to bubble out, as wondering glossy little beady eyes search the room for you as they feel disconnected from their mother who was nowhere to be seen. Simon does his best to quell the child and soothe them before they can cry again.

But alas, it failed as their eyes had tears wounded up in them, and he already knew the signal cries she was going to make. So he had to speed dial you on call and put you on speaker to talk to the child. Honestly, Simon felt terrible for calling you for something as minor as this when he promised to take care of the baby and that he 'got this' for the next few hours when you did the shopping run. "Sorry, Love, it seems she wants to hear you."

Once the baby has heard your voice, they immediately stop crying and listen intently to your sound, like in a trance. The man felt hopeless about the child wanting you only, not him; he watched how they calmed down into obedience as he rocked them from side to side. The amazing things you do that soothe the child in a heartbeat.

But it wasn't until your voice was directed at him.

"Simon, I know you're doing your best trying to have her adjust to you, and I want you to know that I am proud of you for not giving up."

His heart warms at that.

.

It was late noon when he let his baby girl sprawl on the floor inside her playpen as he was watching a show while keeping an eye on her. The moment the little girl gained consciousness as a separate entity from her mother, she began to roll over on her stomach before crawling to sit up, and her little eyes glossed over, looking around the playpen, searching for the maternal needs before it landed on Simon who took his eyes off her for a fraction.

Her little bottom lips begin to quiver and poke out before bursting into tears as Simon quickly steps into his fatherly instinct and scoops up the baby into his arms, silencing her. They bleary wipe their beady tears away with stubby fingers before looking up at him and seeing her father's eyes looking down at her. She sniffed as Simon wiped the snot away with a thumb under her nose, "It's okay, I got you," his voice deeply resonated when he patted her back as his baby girl kept looking at him like it was seeing him for the first time in a different light.

With another sniffle and a little disgruntled noise, she rubs her eyes again and presses her forehead to the thumping side of his heart, slowly calming down. She realized it wasn't so bad to be in her father's arms and have another parent close to her to ease her separation anxiety.

It felt like magic for Simon, how she eased her miniature body into his instead of rejecting him and crying for you until you had to come and get her. He continues to soothe her while swaying from side to side, and you pop out of the corner on the open archway into the living room from the kitchen to see the rainbow after the storm.

You were about to say something, but you quietly mouth:

"I told you so; enjoy it."

With a smile.

[piningforstan]

Leave Them

Summary: You’re really impressed with Stan after fighting the zombies. And his brass knuckles.

Pairings: Stanley Pines x F!Reader

Word Count: 1.1k

Warnings: 18+, this is SMUT, smut without plot, fingering, kind of praise kink, inappropriate use of brass knuckles

A/N: forgive me Father (Alex Hirsch) for I have sinned (wrote smut about Stan Pines)

“You-You saved us.”

The details of Stan’s face sharpened in clarity as he approached, looking wary and handsome as ever. Even in the darkness, you could see his gaze drift over you, examining for any injury. You couldn’t imagined how you looked — you had just been attacked by a horde of townspeople-turned-zombies — but whatever he saw must have sated him. His large hand ghosted your cheek.

“You alright, kid?”

Without permission, you leaned into his touch. You nodded. Ever the genius, you repeated, “You saved us.”

Stan returned a strained smile. “Someone had to. Might as well’ve been me.”

You racked your brain for something more intelligent to say, perhaps a thank you. The remains of fear stilled gripped you, though, along with the image of Stan fighting the undead. You had never seen him in action before. Of course, you’d heard his stories about his past, about boxing, but like everything that Stanford Pines said, you had to take it with a grain of salt.

He wasn’t lying. At least about this.

Watching him had ignited something primal and core-clenching inside you, an ember of desire only fanned more by his close proximity. You decided that words would not be sufficient enough to express your gratitude, instead rocking up on your toes and grabbing Stan by the lapels.

You half expected shock or resistance when you pressed your mouth to his. But, to your relief, there was none of that. Almost as if you had done it a million times before, Stan immediately slipped one hand behind your head and one around your waist. His mouth was equally if not more fervent than your own, consuming you with an abandon that confirmed his feelings for you.

All of the words you wished you could say you poured into that kiss. A silent conversation between both of you, the ebb and flow of a tide, crashing into you with unfettered intensity. It wasn’t long before you needed more. Breath fanning across your face, Stan steered you backwards, cushioning the blow as he cornered you against the wall. A groan escaped you that he seemed determined to capture, replacing his mouth on yours once more — then your neck, your collar, amassing sound after sound from you.

It didn’t take long before you were helping him out of his jacket, tugging at the buttons of his undershirt. Stan kept his hands at your waist, securing you against the wall, against him, moving only to let his jacket slip down his shoulders. They caught on his wrists, the brass knuckles he wore.

Stan swore. “Fuckin’ hell —”

“Leave them,” you said, touching his arm.

Stan paused to peer at you strangely. A blush warmed your face, prompting his to split into a crooked grin. “Leave ’em, eh?”

He promptly maneuvered the jacket off with impressive dexterity, which only made you that much more eager for his touch. Your whole body seemed to sigh as he flicked open your jeans, fingers warm and calloused and wonderful. He shoved your pants down to your thighs then placed his free hand between your legs.

“Oh, doll, you’re killin’ me,” he growled, finger curving upwards almost by reflex at your slickness. Your hips ground into his hand. “Say it again.”

“What?” You breathed, arcing into his palm. He teased your entrance, keeping you from what you really wanted.

“What you said. Before,” he clarified, voice rasping, deeper than usual.

You reached through the haze of desire clouding your brain, panting out, “You saved us. Saved me.”

“That’s right, couldn’t let nothin’ happen to you,” Stan muttered into your neck. One finger buried itself inside you and you cry out in surprise, in pleasure. “You’re mine. My girl.”

Another finger, then a third, stretching you out. Even just the slightest of ministrations has you gasping. He curled his fingers, coaxed out your orgasm, wrist snapping. White light blurred the edges of your vision. Right when you think that you might release, he removed his fingers. You barely have time to protest when he replaced them with something else.

Something cool and distinctly metal.

“Stan.” You grabbed hold of the hair at the nape of his neck.

“Since you like ’em so much,” he grunted in way of reply. He pressed the ridges of the brass knuckles against you, brushed your clit, along the sensitive skin of your thighs.

Already you can feel yourself unraveling, bucking up into the combined feel of his skin and the metal of the brass knuckles. Stan watched you almost obsessively, as if to commit every second of this to memory — his body on yours, your undoubtedly swollen lips, the way you pant out his name with each touch.

Stan is completely in control, releasing and providing more pressure depending on your reaction. You hissed. “Stop—teasing.”

“I dunno what you’re talking about.”

The metal pressed to your clit. You inhaled. His opposite hand reached up to palm your breast, thumb brushing over your raised nipple. It’s almost too much, Stan like this, confident and solid and breathless. Your body bowed to him, pliant like a plant bending towards the sun, desperate for the faintest touch.

“That’s right,” Stan rasped, “Come for me. Let me hear ya.”

Your head fell back. The combination of his heady smell and the cool metal, his knee pushing your legs apart to better access you, pushes you to the edge. He’s there to catch you as you take the plunge, free falling, ecstasy sweeping over you. There’s nothing to anchor you except him — Stan — holding you upright as you shuddered through your climax.

“Never knew they could be used for more than kicking ass,” Stan said with a laugh.

You swatted at him. Hopefully in the dark he couldn’t see you blush. “Shut up.”

Hands curling in his lapels again, you pulled him to you, more than eager to return the favor, when there’s a loud thump from upstairs. The sound made both of you freeze.

“Grunkle Stan? Are they gone?”

It’s Mabel. Shit. You both forgot that the kids had retreated upstairs to hide.

Stan groaned, pinching his nose. There’s a trace of promise in his eyes when he glanced at you, making sure that you’re both buttoned and tidied and separated before the kids shuffled downstairs, eyes widened with fear.

“They’re, uh, all gone. Nothin’ to worry ‘bout,” Stan said. Dipper and Mabel ran across the room to hug him and he bent to one knee to accept it.

Your heart fluttered with happiness. You’re alive, and more important the kids are alive. And Stan returned your feelings.

Never one to linger too long in sentiment, Stan started ordering the twins to start clean-up. You’re watching the entire thing unfold when he caught your eye and darted his tongue over the brass knuckles before removing them and tucking them into his suit pocket.

Oh, you’re definitely returning the favor.