#once again i am thinking about how i should replay this game

[themoonlitquill]

Whispers Woven in Shadow. (7/?)

𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙞𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙖 𝙛𝙤𝙪𝙧𝙩𝙝 𝘼𝙧𝙘𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙤𝙣 𝙨𝙞𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧? 𝙃𝙤𝙬 𝙬𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙨𝙝𝙚 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙣𝙖𝙧𝙧𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙫𝙚? 𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙙𝙚𝙘𝙞𝙨𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨 𝙬𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙨𝙝𝙚 𝙢𝙖𝙠𝙚? 𝙏𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙞𝙨 𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙨𝙩𝙤𝙧𝙮.

𝗣𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 ; 𝖠𝗓𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗅 𝗑 𝖥𝖾𝗆!𝖮𝖢 (𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗎𝖺𝗅).

𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞 ; HELLO I AM ALIVE!!!! 🙌🏼 I am so sorry (again) about this taking me so long to update! I hit a whole ass brick wall with this chapter for a hot minute, but then I was like ???? why, just WRITE it girl!! So this is the result and I hope you all like it. 🥺 I will also, hopefully, get on a somewhat decent posting schedule and have a masterlist coming! ENJOY!! 🩵

𝖳𝗋𝗂𝗀𝗀𝖾𝗋 𝖶𝖺𝗋𝗇𝗂𝗇𝗀𝗌 ; 𝗡𝗼𝗻𝗲, 𝗜 𝗱𝗼𝗻'𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗸??? 𝗠𝗮𝘆𝗯𝗲 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗦𝗟𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗧 𝗶𝗻𝗻𝗲𝗿-𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗺𝗼𝗶𝗹???? 𝗩𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝗹𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁, 𝗶𝗳 𝘀𝗼.

𝗪𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗖𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁 ; 4799.

The end of the week was finally here.

Ariadne could hardly contain herself, far too antsy to keep focus on anything for too long, which put a damper on her Daemati practice and she felt a split second of guilt before realizing that she had every right to be excited about this. There was little to nothing to do in the House of Wind and whatever there was to do, she’d done it already. Mostly.

And there was no denying that what she looked forward to above all else was the fact that no matter the result, she was getting out. It was a constant that replayed in her mind over and over since the terms had been set. How could she not be eager? The anticipation made her buzz, nearly leaping out of her skin at the mere thought of seeing so many new things.

She remembered that Feyre had written ‘City of Starlight’ back at Archeron Estate and she wanted to know if it was like what she envisioned in her head. It’s probably better, her lips twitch. You’ll find out soon, don’t worry. Patience is a virtue, right?

Although, it was apparent that playing the waiting game was a lot harder than she assumed it’d be. She should’ve known better, considering the fixation she had on it.

“Ariadne,” it flowed in like a cool breeze, spreading to every corner in her mind, consuming yet emanating a softness that was somehow silken and rich; goosebumps rose on the surface of her skin, a small breath catching in her throat, and she slowly turns to look over her shoulder. Golden hazel is the only thing she sees and there was a realization at how devastatingly gorgeous the Shadowsinger was. It was strange to her because she had been around him plenty of times by now and all of a sudden it was as if she hadn’t really looked before.

“Azriel,” she watches as his shadows curl around his ears, trailing down his neck. They reminded her of rolling waves, the gentle kind, right as the sun rises and everything begins to wake up. She was utterly fascinated by them and if the blasted male would stay put, she would already be touching to find out if they all felt the same. “You’re up early.”

He was leaning against the doorway, arms crossed lazily, with a rather hushed expression, eyes never straying. “I like to watch when the moon and the sun are visible at the same time. I’ve only ever seen it here in Night Court,” his wings shift, shadows coiled to his shoulders. “Rhys’ mom always told us it was their time to talk since they were in love with each other and were forced to be separated. I thought it was unfair and it’s stuck with me all these years, so I’m usually the first one awake.”

It was a beautiful tragic thing to think about and Ariadne found herself curious, not to mention - secretly - thrilled that he was initiating the conversation instead of her. She turns to face him fully, head tilted. “Why’d you think it was unfair?”

“I didn’t like that they were only allowed to be together once a day. If they were supposed lovers, I think they should have as much time as they want,” his tone was almost wistful, a gentle caress, and she wondered if this was part of the real him, seeping through and giving her a taste of what was underneath. “Having that level of control over someone isn’t okay with me.”

It didn’t sit well with her either.

For an entirely different reason that tugged at her heart.

“They’re together twice,” she resists the urge to rub away the ache, wishing to know why it bothered her so badly. “At dusk before sunset. The moon appears and gets to watch the sun when it’s most beautiful. All those colors,” a soft hum vibrates in her throat as the throbbing dulls. “The sun would see the moon start to gleam just before disappearing behind the horizon and when they meet again, the moon would know exactly what the sun thought about its light.”

Ariadne’s lips curve, honey swirling and warm, the steady beat nearly unnoticeable and Azriel was frozen, enraptured by the whisper of her words and the small crinkle in her left eye, subtle but there. His shadows drift towards her and he doesn’t have the mind to draw them back, which seems to further encourage them to move closer, and he takes a breath. He was amazed at her mind already, but this was something else.

“I like that,” she blinks and he watches blush tint her cheeks, making a light batch of freckles appear, sprinkled across like stardust. He exhales. “You’re so…” the word stalls on his tongue, brow twitching. It was what he had said to himself a thousand times and for some reason, he wasn’t sure if he could say it to her.

“So… what?”

He wanted to. It was hovering over his head like an omnipresent cloud and the want turned to need, arms flexing as he struggled to remain still under her doe-eyes, filled with curiosity and a hint of playfulness, rimmed with wispy lashes. His jaw tics.

“Different.”

“Different,” she parrots, a single brow raising before her tone lilts. “In a good way or a bad way?”

“A good way,” Azriel was studying her so closely that he noticed the mixture of relief and something tender settle into the delicate planes of her face. Had she been… worried? No. That was Rhys and Cass getting to him. Wasn’t it?

Ariadne hums. “You’re different in a good way too,” she glances down at the ground as a couple of the shadows tickle her toes. “Same as them,” his posture relaxes and she chooses not to comment. Some things were better left alone. For now. “Did you have breakfast yet?”

“No.”

“Do you like french toast?”

“Yes.”

“Then come eat with me.”

₊˚✧𑁍.ೃ࿔*:･

A whole training ring? This is impressive, Ariadne stands on the outer edge with her notebook, quill, and inkpot held in her hands. I bet they spend more time up here than they do anywhere else, her lips twitch in amusement, neck craning to look at the sky. If I find the right spot, I’ll be able to see everything. The only question is where?

The ground shakes beneath her feet, eliciting a surprised squeal from her throat and putting her off balance, weight teetering on her toes. She quickly searches for stability and tries to plant her feet firmly when large hands settle on her hips, warm and steady.

Her head angles back further to find Cassian, who was grinning. He was always grinning.

“I know you don’t have far to fall, but you should really be more careful.”

She releases a frustrated sound. “Says the one who causes an earthquake when he lands!”

“It’s all this muscle, what can I say?” Cassian flexes his arms and Ariadne snorts, turning around to give him a light shove. Well, it was more like her pushing against a brick wall, but it was the thought that counted. “You should get rid of some to make room for your brain.”

There was silence and then he roars with laughter, the sheer volume of it making her ears buzz. “You’re funny. Anyone ever told you that?”

“Not recently,” she taps her finger against the edge of the notebook. “It’s good to know, though. At least I’m not boring.”

He pats her on the shoulder. “Definitely not,” his spine straightens and mischief glimmers in his gaze as the air around them shifts, tickling the surface of her skin and raising goosebumps; a silken touch attracts her attention and she looks down to find one shadow around her wrist, another curled around her elbow. She brightens, already enthralled, and misses the blatant surprise displayed on Cassian’s face. “That’s new.”

Ariadne hums, wiggling her fingers as it weaves through the spaces between. “Let me guess,” she raises a brow. “You get on their nerves too.”

Cassian narrows his eyes. “Do not.”

“Yes you do.”

Azriel.

She turned around and sure enough, the Shadowsinger stood a few feet away in his usual pose - arms crossed - and she wished he would loosen up, the tension obvious in the tightness in his shoulders and the reservation in his eyes. Why is he like this? He changes more quickly than I can think and I can’t keep up. How come I can’t figure him out?

The tendrils tremble as her fingers brush over the surface, marveling at how responsive they were; it seemed they were more sensitive than what was considered ‘normal’ and it was an enigma that she couldn’t figure out, but enjoyed all the same.

“See? We’re all in agreement,” she notes the flash of amusement in golden hazel followed by the slight shift in his chest, lips parting to release a breath, and the hard line of his jaw softening; they were near imperceptible changes and yet, she didn’t miss a single one. Well, you wanted to get a read on him, didn’t you?

Watching him would be the best way, Ariadne tilts her head. He’s struggling with something. It comes and goes and it’s heavy, her eyes observing the shadows swirling more languidly than before. They mimic his emotions, even though I’m positive they have their own too, which makes it harder.

I have to figure out the differences. How are you going to do that? This wasn’t helping. How long had it been since she’d spoken? Her nose twitches. “I made the scorecards and there’s two categories, so I was th-“

“I thought there were four.”

She glares at him, mouth tight. “Don’t do that. It’s rude and I don’t care for it. I wouldn’t do it to you and you shouldn’t do it to me. As I was saying,” She blinks. Wait, what did he say? She replays it over. How did he-? Realization slaps her right across the face. The shadow! Oh, damn the Cauldron! So much for secrecy! Her eyes narrow.

“I changed my mind. Two of them didn’t make sense after I thought it over.”

“What were they?” Cassian questions, causing Ariadne to jump and quickly step to the side, grateful she hadn’t dropped anything in the process and that no one would know it was because she forgot he was even there; her eyes focus on him, deciding a break was needed from the Spymaster - and his shadows - anyway.

“Agility and endurance,” she sighs. “I wanted to have more to look for, but it doesn’t make sense when you’ll be flying from one spot to another and I won’t be able to really judge them that well,” her shoulder lifts in a half-shrug. “Speed, self-explanatory, and form, how you takeoff and land.”

Azriel abruptly turns and starts walking away, causing Ariadne and Cassian to display varying levels of confusion on their faces, though the latter seemed to know something she didn’t, which was strange. What was she missing? Her brow furrows and instead of standing around like an idiot, she hurriedly follows after him, making sure to keep her grip on everything in her hands, and glances back to see that his brother in everything but blood was coming along too.

“Where are we going?” Ariadne huffs and pushes her legs to move faster to keep up, silently cursing the world that she was so short. What an inconvenience.

Neither of them answer and irritation prickles on her skin, mouth setting into a thin line. “By all means, keep ignoring me. That isn’t rude or anything.”

More silence.

Her eyes narrow. Asses.

Cassian laughs to himself from behind the small Fae as they leave the training ring behind, beginning to climb up the small slope of the mountain and into the thicket of the trees. “She has a point… Where are we going? What did you do, Az?”

The Shadowsinger veers to the left, a clear destination in mind, and ponders for a moment whether or not he should respond. “Don’t worry about it. You’ll see in a minute.”

“Ah, so you’re being mysterious now? Is that for your benefit or hers?”

“Don’t worry about it,” he repeats, wings pulled tightly to his body to avoid scraping against the branches. “We’re almost there.”

Cassian rolls his eyes in amusement, but remains silent. He had a feeling the end result of this was going to be more entertaining than anything he could say and he’d be lying if he said his interest wasn’t piqued and didn’t want to see how it all played out; this Azriel was exciting and new, something he never thought would be possible. Might as well take advantage of it.

“You aren’t leading us all the way out here to kill me or something, right?” Ariadne breaks into a small jog to catch up to Azriel, mindful of the roots above ground - the last thing she needed was to almost fall, again - and nearly grabbing onto his arm to keep herself in time with his lengthy gait. She doesn’t though. He’d probably disappear like the last time if I did.

Azriel looks over his shoulder, lips curved up into a surprisingly soft smile. “No. I’m capable of a lot of things, but harming you isn’t one of them.”

Oh.

She certainly hadn’t expected that.

“Well, that’s a relief then!” Her tone was breathier and there was a silent chiding to herself that she needed to stay composed. No need to lose her head now. “Are we almost there? Or are we going to have to stop for food and water?”

Cassian snorts, earning a sharp glare from Azriel, and he slides up next to Ariadne, reaching over to pat the top of her head. She immediately swats him away. “Patience, little Archeron.”

“My name is Ariadne.”

He chuckles. “I’m aware.”

She makes a move to retort when she bumps into Azriel, who had come to stand still, a squeak emitting from her lips. He was as solid as a damn rock and it wouldn’t be a shock if she found she was bruised from the impact. “You could warn me next time you kn-!”

The words get caught and come to a halt as she finally registers why he had stopped.

Her eyes widen a fraction and she steps around the Shadowsinger to be able to see better, everything else lost to her for the time being; they were in a large clearing laden with posts buried in the forest floor, artfully arranged from one side to the other, and there was hoops on top of a few, wide enough for a person - an Illyrian, more than likely - to fit through. Is this what I think it is?

Moving forward, Ariadne tilts her head back and breathes out slowly, finding what she was looking at hard to believe. “An obstacle course?”

“So this is what you’ve been doing for the past few nights! Who knew you would add carpentry to your list of skills,” Cassian stood beside Azriel now, a hand lifting to clap him on the shoulder. “And you say you aren’t creative!”

Azriel ignores him, golden gaze fixated on the youngest sister, surveying every bit of reaction elicited from her. “It is. You can judge more than speed and form with this, yes?”

She turns around, eyes brighter than he had seen so far and he was positive he’d do anything to keep it that way. “Uh, yeah! This is amazing! How long has this been here? Do you train here a lot?”

“You want to tell her or should I?” Cassian wiggles his eyebrows, ducking out of the way of one of the shadows and laughing raucously.

“Not long,” he inclines his head slightly, continuing to pay his brother no mind. “You can watch from over there.”

Ariadne bounces on the balls of her feet, practically buzzing with unrestrained energy, and wastes no time in going over, eager to witness exactly how flying really was. The only thing that would top it would be having one of them carry her along for the ride, but it was quickly dismissed. She was brave, sure, just not enough for that. Yet.

“Okay, I’m ready when you are,” she had her notebook open, along with the inkpot, and the feathered quill poised between her fingers. “Get in position and I’ll count it off.”

The two Illyrians do exactly that, standing a few feet apart at what was the designated starting line and stretching their wings, feet planted firmly and determination set into their expressions. Wow, they’re really taking this seriously. I guess it makes sense. Males are usually more competitive, she resists the urge to giggle. This is gonna be fun.

She goes over the scorecard for the millionth time and nods, completely focused and excited. There was no denying it.

“On your mark… Get set��� GO!”

Cassian is airborne first, closely followed by Azriel, and she watches with a combination of calculation and awe. There was something to be said about the beauty of wings - one in particular - and watching them move with such power, such precision, was truly magnificent. She couldn’t tear her eyes away, not that she wanted to, taking note that while both were clearly talented, there was a drastic difference. To her at least.

Azriel flew with a deadly grace, maneuvering through the posts as if it were second nature, so fast that he was a blur of bronze and sapphire; she found herself mesmerized, the delicate features of her face showcasing wonder and not bothering to hide it, far too caught up in the art of it.

She paid attention to Cassian too, though it was difficult to share, and could tell that he was much more aggressive with his movements, all strength and speed, even a bit cocky. How was she to fairly judge this?

Cassian was cackling gleefully, tucking his wings in to shoot through one of the hoops as he pulled ahead before dipping into a low dive to bob and weave with ease. “Come on, brother! You’ve gotten slow!”

The Shadowsinger’s jaw tightens and he banks to the left, avoiding a post and ascending steeply, using the height to his advantage and propelling forward until he hears an indignant cry from below. A smirk forms on his lips. “I don’t think so.”

Ariadne was enthralled, memorizing every little thing that she could, refusing to miss any of it. If she wasn’t thrilled before, she certainly was now, and she knew that it was only going to go up - literally - from here. The finish line was right there and the sudden realization hit that she wanted Azriel to win.

Her cheeks heat at the mere thought and she swallows, that same energy buzzing beneath the surface of her skin. Don’t let me down. I’m rooting for you. Come on.

Almost as if he had heard her, Azriel flies through the last hoop and to the end, Cassian seconds behind, and she struggles to hold the grin at bay. She looks down at the scorecard and immediately begins tallying the scores, knowing that she couldn’t choose a winner based on who got there first; there were four categories for a reason after all.

“I let you win,” Cassian gives a pointed look. “I didn’t want to take away your prize and have you moping around. It’s seriously depressing.”

Azriel rolls his eyes. “You didn’t let me do anything.”

“Sure, sure.”

“Come back over here!” Ariadne double-checks each column, feeling satisfied with her judgment and her decision. It was close. Very close. She waits until they’re standing in front of her before handing them their scorecards, having returned to bouncing up and down with no restraint, excitement bubbling out from every inch of her. “Azriel wins!”

Cassian narrows his eyes at the paper he held as he goes over the numbers and soon his expression forms into mock horror. “The only one I beat him in was form?! Are you sure you aren’t biased, little Archeron?”

She scoffs. “No! I said that it was based on how you takeoff and land! You were off the ground first, so you edged him out there.”

“He’s a sore loser,” Azriel chuckles. “He’ll get over it.”

“You wound me, brother.”

Ariadne tilts her head. “I think you’ll survive, Lord of Illyrians.”

“Lord of Illyrians?” Cassian perks up at that. “Hear that, Az? I’m your Lord.”

“In your dreams.”

₊˚✧𑁍.ೃ࿔*:･

She was having a crisis.

A wardrobe crisis.

Normally, she wasn’t one to really give a damn about fashion, but this was the first time she’d be out and in public. Around people. With eyes. She wanted to look nice, or at the very least, presentable. The main issue being that she didn’t know what that entailed. A dress? Pants? Boots or heels? Maybe the silk ballet slippers? And what about a jacket? Leather? A cardigan? Was it too warm for a sweater? She had no idea. It was all guesswork at this point.

A noise of exasperation leaves her, hands on her hips, and she glares at the pile of clothes on the bed as if they had personally offended her. This is ridiculous! There is no reason why this should be so hard! Just pick something. I’m sure it’ll be fine. Is anyone going to truly care what I’m wearing anyway or am I just thinking too much into this? She groans and pinches the bridge of her nose. I wish Elain was here. Or even Nesta. They’re much better at this than I am, damn it all!

Ariadne drops her hand, looking over the garments before snatching a pair of satin pants off the top and slipping them on. They were a deep plum color and seemed to pop against her skin, accentuating the subtle curve of her hips and hugging her thighs just right. See? You got this. Look for a shirt that matches and you’re golden.

She begins to sort through until she finds a blouse with flowing sleeves in a shade of cream and pulls that on too. Good enough, I suppose. At least it matches. I think.

With a sigh, she finds a pair of ballet slippers with a hard bottom and quickly decides that it was probably the best she would find. Heels weren’t her thing anyway; she still hadn’t figured out how anyone could properly walk in them. She smooths her hands down her front and takes a breath, glancing over at the door and gnawing on the inside of her lower lip. Azriel said they would spend the day in Velaris and it was a few hours after sunrise, which made her feel… silly. Surely he meant the afternoon? It didn’t make sense to leave now. He was the Spymaster and certainly had better things to do.

Oh, to hell with it! Ariadne faces the mirror of the vanity, checking over her appearance - more thoroughly than necessary - and finding that she actually looked pretty. She had gotten some sun from spending time on the private balcony she had nearly fallen off of and the plum and cream looked nicer than she had anticipated. Not so bad after all.

She gives a final nod and hurriedly leaves her room before she can change her mind, making her way to the kitchen for a much needed cup of tea. The doors to her sister’s rooms were shut and as she passed by, there’s a sudden urge to see them, to make sure they were alright, but she didn’t know how to approach them. Especially after Nesta’s reaction the last time. How long has it been? She wasn’t sure.

A frown mars her features and she hesitates briefly, falling into a battle in her own mind of the two options; she wanted to be close with them and share her experiences, but she didn’t know how to reveal the fact that she was able to communicate now. Would they accept her? Would they understand? She desperately wished she had the answers, though she kept coming up short and it frustrated her to no end.

Maybe I could ease them into it? So much has happened since Hybern and I don’t want to freak them out, Ariadne’s frown deepens. How would I even go about it? Write it down first? Would they even be willing? I wish Feyre was here.

That familiar sharp pain stabs into her chest and she winces, reaching up to rub the spot. She’ll be back and then everything will be okay. Deep breaths. You miss her and that’s normal.

She sucks in a breath and forces her legs to move until she’s standing at the bottom of the steps that lead to the kitchen. Tea, right, she exhales and looks up at the ceiling. You know how I like it.

A steaming cup appears on the counter and Ariadne immediately takes a sip, allowing the heat to coat her throat, warming her from the inside out. Her finger taps mindlessly against the rim, completely lost in thought; so much so that she barely notices the shift in the air and cool silk brushing over her shoulder, strands of caramel tickling her neck and the scent of cedarwood and bergamot - along with something slightly sweet, a little smoky - invading her senses.

She inhales deeply, lashes fluttering against her cheeks. “Goodmorning.”

“Goodmorning.”

The smallest of sighs passes through her lips and her eyes reopen, head turning and tilting back to meet golden hazel. Cauldron, he’s so beautiful. It’s truly unfair. Oh, hush, Ari! Stop it. He doesn’t need you fawning over him.

Ariadne looks him over quickly - sort of, not really - and notes he wasn’t wearing the fighting leathers he favored. Instead, he had on black slacks and a black shirt, fitted to the musculature of his chest and making everything very much defined, along with a leather jacket. His hair was artfully messy and she wanted to run her fingers through it. STOP IT.

She drinks the tea.

“You look nice. I never thought I would see you without that sword. Truth-Teller, isn’t it?”

His mouth curves. “Yes. You remembered.”

Her eyes roll, a playful glint in honey. “Of course I did. I remember everything you tell me.”

“Do you now?” Azriel raises a single brow, his hip resting against the edge of the counter. His gaze was intense and Ariadne shifts her weight from one foot to the other, heart beating a bit faster than she was used to. “Yes,” there goes that breathy tone again. What was the deal? “You’re… interesting.”

Cauldron boil me! Interesting!? That’s what you decided to go with?

That was the worst thing she could’ve possibly said.

But it seemed the Shadowsinger felt otherwise.

“Interesting?” Azriel’s lips form into a smile.

“Mhm,” she felt her cheeks flush, spreading down the length of her neck and she was certain a black hole was going to swallow her up. How embarrassing. What the hell was happening? She didn’t act like this!

Something brushes across her jaw, causing her breath to hitch, and she blinks, eyes finding the Illyrian to see.. Oh. Why is he looking at me like that? Wait, is he actually touching me?

Ariadne doesn’t move as his thumb swipes back and forth, ending in a soothing circle that makes her heart stutter in her chest. She felt hot all over, even with the shadow twined into her hair, and the stark contrast in temperature was sending her mind into a spiral with fuzzy edges that she couldn’t smooth out.

“Beautiful,” his voice caressed her, echoing in her head and she suddenly felt dizzy. “I like this color on you.”

What?

She wanted to touch him too. Badly.

And she wanted him to keep touching her.

“Thank you,” she swallows, subtly leaning further into it, and Azriel hums low in his throat, the sound reverberating down his arm and to his fingers. She shivers.

“Are you ready to go?”

“Go?”

That soft smile he had given her right before the race returns, the gold in his eyes shimmering and holding something that she wasn’t sure of. “To Velaris.”

She could’ve smacked herself. How did she forget already? Was he still touching her?

“Yeah, I’m… I’m ready.”

Azriel lowers his hand and she notices that the warmth he brought left with him, leaving her wanting for more without any semblance of how to ask. He offers his arm to her, head tilted, and she takes it, fingers digging into the leather sleeve.

“Hold on.”

Her brow furrows, confusion evident, and then the shadows shroud them, the kitchen warping around them before everything goes dark.

𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 ; @ashblooddragons , @rcarbo1 , @waytoomanyteenagefeels , @prettylittlewrites , @tele86 , @missxmarvelous , @herondale-lightworm , @kabekusa , @fr0stf4ll .

[daisynik7]

Give You Blue

Chapter 4: Alone Together

Pairing: Eren x f!reader, Reiner x f!reader (past relationship)

Rating: Explicit (for mature content)

cw: switching POVs (reader is in 2nd person, Eren is in 3rd), angst, language, a bit of fluff

Word Count: ~5.7k

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Give You Blue Masterlist | ao3 | Give You Blue Taglist

Summary: You and Annie attend a dinner at the Mu Phi sorority house on campus. Reiner, on his way out of Delta Delta, ambushes you on the walk back to your dorm for a less than pleasant conversation. Later that week, RA Eren hosts a game-night for his fellow residents. But, with it being on a Friday right after midterms, he's disappointed when it flops. Fortunately, someone comes to his rescue. Author’s Notes: Hope you enjoy this one! Likes, comments, and/or reblogs are ALWAYS appreciated. Please let me know what you think, I thrive off of reading your comments! If you want to be tagged in any future chapters, please let me know! Divider created by @/mikeykuns.

“Eren, are you paying attention?” 

Armin waves his hands in front of his friend’s face, snapping Eren out of whatever reverie he’s stuck in. He shakes his head slightly, grinning. “Sorry, Armin. Sort of zoned out for a minute there.” They sit next to each other on Eren’s bed, watching a movie on his laptop. It’s Saturday night, and Eren actually agreed to be social today. 

Armin taps on the space bar, pausing the film. “You’ve been doing that a lot lately. Are you sure you’re getting enough sleep?”

The real answer is no, but with Armin, he’ll only worry if he knows the truth. “Plenty. All eight hours,” Eren lies. In reality, he’s getting four hours tops. He stays up late studying, then spends the rest of the night tossing and turning in bed, anxious about the future. 

Oblivious, Armin responds happily. “Good! Living by yourself is already paying off. Sometimes I wish I could have my own space. The frat house can get pretty noisy, especially with Connie as a roommate.” He chuckles, reaching towards the bag of chips between them.

“Connie’s a blast to be around, though. I’m sure you’re having fun.”

“Yeah, I am. You should really come by the house.”

“Maybe. When I have time.” In all honestly, he has no intention of stepping foot in that frat house. Not because he has a disdain for Greek life; but because it’ll only show him what he’s missing out on. He already feels that way whenever he catches up with Mikasa and Armin, both thoroughly enjoying their college experience still. 

Mikasa returns from the bathroom, hopping on the bed to squeeze next to Eren. “What did I miss?”

“We ended up pausing the movie anyways, so not much.” Armin passes the snacks to Mikasa, who throws a handful into her mouth. 

They continue the movie, Eren’s mind drifting into space again. He’s already thinking about the upcoming chemistry midterm next week, how he hasn’t fully memorized the amino acids and their structures yet. And how he has to schedule a date to meet with Hange Zoë, a senior doing research in the lab, to see if he can shadow her for a month. On top of that, he’s planning on hosting a small event at the dorms, something to help his residents let off some steam after exams. It’s all too much. He wants to sleep and pretend that none of these obligations exist. 

The credits roll on his computer screen. He blinks, fully unaware of what transpired during the movie. His friends hang around for a few more minutes before leaving to head to a party somewhere else on campus. Once again, he’s alone. 

He is not motivated to study tonight, already burnt out from the last couple of days. Instead, he practices his electric guitar, working on a particular riff of this song he likes, replaying it over and over through his headphones. He loses himself in the music for a while, the closest thing to an escape that he can reproduce inside his own bedroom. Fingers sore from picking and strumming, he decides to call it a night. Face washed and teeth brushed, he snuggles under the covers, glancing at his phone. 11:00 PM. Wild night, he thinks to himself, laughing. 

Suddenly, his brother’s name flashes across the screen. “Zeke?”

“Eren, hey. You’re not sleeping already, are you?”

“Nah. But I’m in bed.”

“On a Saturday night?”

“Yep.”

Zeke chuckles heartily. “Oh boy. I can already hear it in your voice. Welcome to the club, little brother. Your descent into med school hell is starting.”

“Yay, can’t wait,” Eren responds sarcastically. “Anyways, what’s up?”

“I wanted to check in and see how you’re doing. Clearly not well.”

“I’ve been better.” He keeps his answer vague on purpose. With Zeke, he doesn’t go into too much detail with the emotions he’s experiencing. As much as he respects his older brother, the two of them don’t always see eye-to-eye. While Eren usually acts out of emotion, sometimes to a fault, Zeke is detached, unable to empathize with what his younger brother is struggling with.  

“Is dad still giving you a hard time? I heard he wasn’t happy with your last quiz grade.” 

Eren ignores the urge to ask how he knows about that, already aware that they talk about him behind his back. “I told him it was weighted, so technically I passed.” 

“Well, you know how the old man is. Technicalities don’t really matter to him.”

He rolls his eyes, staring up at the ceiling of his bedroom, almost regretting picking up this call. “What are you trying to say?”

“I’m saying you should study harder.”

He’s fighting to keep his cool, his body tense with anger. Before he loses it, he mutters through gritted teeth, “Okay, thanks. I actually gotta go now, bye.”

“Eren, I’m just trying to help – ”

He doesn’t wait for Zeke to finish his sentence, already tapping on the red button to end the call. Now, with his mood ruined, he’s not sure if he can fall asleep. He wishes it was still daylight, specifically the golden hour when the sun sets. It would be the perfect time to head to his favorite spot: the beach that overlooks the shimmering expanse of blue ocean water separating Paradis and Marley. He discovered this area recently, on one of his drives that he takes to temporarily escape. It brings him peace, even if the moment is fleeting. 

Instead, he scrolls through his contacts, tapping on his mom’s name, holding the phone back up to his ear. When her familiar voice greets him on the other line, the tears start flowing and he spends the next half hour confiding in her. 

~~~

You and Reiner cuddle in bed, his nose nuzzled to the back of your neck, spooning you. Bertolt is home for the weekend, leaving the room to yourselves. 

“Coco, are you still awake?”

You hum, snuggling closer to him, on the verge of sleep. He swallows hard behind you, as if he’s nervous. “I think I want to live in the fraternity house next semester.”

This gets your attention. Surprised, you turn around to face him. “What?”

“It’ll help me bond with my brothers better.”

“But we were supposed to live together.” The two of your agreed quite early in the semester that you would live together in one of the on-campus apartments. This news comes to you as a shock, since he’s never mentioned wanting to live on Greek Row, until now. 

“I just want to try it out for a year, baby. When we’re juniors, we can find our own place off campus, so we can do whatever we want.” He pulls you closer, kissing your forehead. “Everything is going to work out, okay? You can wait a year, right?”

Of course you can wait; that’s what he asks you of, so you’ll do it. But you don’t want to. You had all these exciting ideas laid out in your head: cooking meals together, relaxing on the couch in each other’s arms, being alone without worrying about parents or roommates barging in on the two of you. Being together all the time. 

“Coco, say something.”

It’s easy to get upset. Make a fuss and yell at him for being selfish. Simultaneously, you feel guilty for thinking this way, like you’re the bad girlfriend for disagreeing with it. For wanting him all to yourself.

“Okay,” you finally respond. “I’ll ask Annie if she wants to live together again, I guess.” It’s a compromise for the sake of making him happy. Because more than anything, you want him to be happy. 

He smiles, kissing you on the lips. “You’re the best, you know that? I don’t know what I would do without you.”

You wake up, back in your own bed, Annie’s soft snores filling the quiet of the room. A quick glance at your phone shows you it’s only 4 AM in the morning. It’s been a few days since you dreamt about Reiner, a new record since the break-up. Still, whenever you do, it hurts as much as it did the first night. 

He never warned you about wanting to move into the fraternity house. It came out of nowhere, a total and complete blindside, much like when he broke up with you. He’s been this way for a while, making rash decisions and springing it on you without a mention of it beforehand. You always end up going along with it, forcing yourself to accept it without disagreement. You never could stand up for yourself, thinking it was less hassle to bend for him than to argue about it. When you’re with someone for so long, the easy road seems the obvious choice, compared to one that has bumps and cracks along the way. But just because it’s easy, doesn’t mean it’s better; it doesn’t always lead you to the right destination. And maybe that’s why you are where you are now: lost. 

It’s been almost two weeks since you saw him on that rainy day. Two weeks since he sent you that text message, which remains unanswered. There’s been moments where you stared at the screen, fingers ghosting the keyboard, wanting to send him a reply. Somehow, you’ve resisted those temptations. In the end, it’ll only lead to more heartache. The memories haven’t kept you up at night as much as it did before. Thankfully, your sleep schedule is back to normal, except for nights like this. You’re doing better each day. Annie’s two words to you are on constant loop in your head: Baby steps. Any progress, no matter how little or big, is still progress. As long as you don’t go backwards into a downward spiral.

Later in the week, Annie extends an invitation to eat dinner at one of the sorority houses on campus, Mu Phi. Hitch, a close friend, is a sister who currently lives there. As you approach Greek Row with your roommate, you look at the Delta Delta house right next door, wondering if Reiner is there, working as their hasher tonight. Possibly flirting with Christa or other sisters that surely find him attractive. You let the insecurities fade as soon as you knock on the door to Mu Phi, soon greeted by Hitch and two other friendly sisters. They lead you into the dining room, chatting about various topics, subtlety sneaking in how great sorority life is, asking if you’ve ever been interested. After all, they are constantly in recruitment mode, which doesn’t bother you. It feels nice to be desired. 

During the meal, the conversations continue. Annie, being the secret gossip she is, mentions the neighbors. You briefly described to her your run-in with Reiner and Christa, so naturally, she’s been curious since. “What’s it like living next to them?”

Hitch replies, “It’s fine. Did you know that Mikasa’s a Delta Delta?”

“Really? She rushed? I guess they can’t be all bad,” Annie muses.

Hitch eyes her with an amused smirk on her face. “Why would you say that? Who’s in there that you don’t like?”

Before Annie can respond, you interrupt, not wanting to spread any unwarranted gossip. “She’s joking. By the way, who’s Mikasa?”

“She’s this girl that attends Annie’s kickboxing class.”

Annie adds, “She’s also our RA’s sister.”

“Eren?”

She nods, confirming. His appearance around the dorms has lessened, possibly because of the upcoming midterms. He is a pre-med major after all, so you’re certain he’s too busy studying to be out and about. You wished you could have seen his face when he received the bag full of Pocky you bought for him, as thanks for sharing his umbrella on that rainy day. “I didn’t know he has a sister.”

“She’s adopted, from what I heard,” Hitch comments. “But they’re super close. Her, Eren, and Armin.”

At that third name, you glance at Annie, a slight blush creeping on her cheeks. She had a class with Armin last semester, and they were paired up for a big project. From then on, your roommate has been smitten with him, but she’ll never admit it out loud. You also recognize the name as one of Reiner’s pledge brothers from the same fraternity, though you’ve never met him personally. Knowing he’s close to Eren already gives you the impression that he’s a nice guy. 

The dinner ends with a tour of the house, not including the exclusive sleeping porch on the top floor, where all the sisters are forced to slumber beside each other. Right outside the entrance, you, Hitch, and Annie talk for a little while longer until your roommate announces, “My shift at the library is starting, so I have to leave now. Thanks for dinner Hitch!”

The three of you say your goodbyes, Hitch waving farewell from the door, you and Annie parting ways in opposite directions. It’s a clear sky tonight, the moon glowing brightly in the vast darkness, littered with barely visible stars. You take your time walking, enjoying the pleasantly cool air, admiring the other houses along Greek Row. From behind, a familiar voice calls out to you. “Coco.”

Before you face him, you curse under your breath, aware of exactly who it is. You find Reiner several feet away from you, presumably from the Delta Delta house. His fraternity is in the opposite direction, so he must have spotted you from afar, maybe heard you talking outside. You stand in place, waiting for him to catch up to you, ambushed. 

“Hey,” he says, with a sheepish grin.

You nod stiffly, unsure what to do next. It’s too late to make a run for it. Impossible to turn back the clock and sprint your way across campus. You should have known better, especially when you already assumed he’d be working there tonight. It doesn’t matter now; you’re trapped. 

“Are you heading back to your dorm?” he asks, hands in his pockets. 

You nod once more, voice stuck in your throat, unable to speak. 

“I’ll walk with you.” It’s not a question or a suggestion. It’s final. He’s determined to do it. 

Reluctant, you let him, pivoting on your heel towards the direction of your dorm, remaining silent. He stays beside you, hands in his pocket, glancing at you hesitantly. “What were you doing at Mu Phi?”

So he did notice you first. Eyes focused on the ground, you answer, “Hitch invited us for dinner.”

“Christa also invited you, remember? To the Delta Delta house.”

“What does that have to do with anything?” You don’t mean to sound venomous; well, maybe you do. Why bother bringing that up?

“I’m just reminding you. She’s really nice, you know.”

You snap, annoyed and frustrated. “Yes, Reiner, I’m sure she is very nice. That’s why I think she’d understand why I refuse to go to that house for dinner.”

“Because of me?” 

“Of course it’s because of you!”

He sighs, scratching his arm excessively. Something he does when he’s anxious. “I don’t understand why you’ve been ignoring me. I thought we agreed to be friends. You won’t even respond to my texts. How am I supposed to know that you’re okay?”

“Okay? You want to know if I’m okay? Reiner, I haven’t been okay since the day you broke up with me.” 

“That’s why I’m trying to talk to you.”

You scoff, blood boiling. “You’re the last person I want to talk to. You’re the reason I’m not okay. You broke my heart.” It’s a cheap shot to blame him, but that’s what you do. Fire everything in your arsenal to defend yourself, to hurt him.

His expression turns sullen at your harsh words. “I couldn’t be your boyfriend anymore. It’s fucked up, I know. But I did what I thought was right. I didn’t want to string you along.”

“Then why didn’t you tell me you were feeling this way? Why didn’t you talk to me about it? We tell each other everything. Why keep this away from me?” 

He chews on his lip, nervous. “I was scared, okay? Really scared to lose you. I thought if I started talking about it, you’d break up with me and hate me forever. I wasn’t ready for that.”  

You process this, not sure how you truly feel about it. On the one hand, you understand the fear of losing the most important person in your life. That’s what you two are to each other. Well, were. On the other hand, it isn’t fair that he makes decisions when he’s ready. What about you?

You arrive outside your dorm building, standing feet away from each other, your arms crossed over your chest, protecting your heart. When you don’t respond, he continues. “I care about you, Coco. You’re my best friend. You’re the most important person in my life.”

 “You say that now, but eventually, somebody else will come along. Then what?”

Quietly, he replies, “I don’t know.”

You have to stand up for yourself. Hit him with the bitter truth even if it makes him uncomfortable. You’ve gone far too long agreeing to what he wants, following his plan, sacrificing your sanity to protect him. You don’t owe him anything. He decided to dump you when he was ready. That gives you free reign to do the same. “I don’t want to be a placeholder for whenever the next person comes along. Do you understand how painful that is? To know I’m temporary? I can’t be the most important person in your life. Not like this. That’s why we can’t be friends.” 

He stares at you, dumbfounded that you won’t concede to him. Disappointed that he can’t get what he wants this time, after so many years of doing so. This is what it’s like to have control, to stick up for yourself. Maybe there is some good to come out of this breakup. 

After a while, Reiner speaks, voice trembling, eyes glistening. “You can’t do this to me, Coco. I still…I still love – ”

“Don’t say it. Do not fucking say it.” You cover your ears, as if that will prevent your brain from finishing the rest of that sentence in your head. 

“I mean it, though. No matter what happens between us. I want you in my life.”

“Why is everything about what you want? Have you ever considered what I want?” You begin to pace back and forth on the pavement, arms jittery, increasingly erratic. 

A little louder now, a tinge of arrogance in his tone, he says, “We’ve known each other our whole lives. Pretty sure I have a good idea about what you want.”

“Well, you don’t. It’s different now. You don’t know me just as much as I don’t know you.”

“How can you say this right now? You’re just going to throw us away?!”

“You did it first!” you yell at him, tears streaming down your cheeks.

He steps towards you, hands in a desperate prayer, begging. “I don’t want to lose you. Please, Coco. I need you. I need you.” It’s the magic words that he so expertly chants to you. The ones that tug at your heartstrings, make you weak in the knees. And for a second, you consider taking everything back. Reach out and hold him, forget about the pain you’ve suffered these past two months and agree to be friends. Because you’d do anything to see him happy again. For this to be a long nightmare and to wake up together, perfectly back to normal.

But you don’t. And only because the entrance to your building suddenly swings open, revealing Eren at the door, inspecting the scene with a concerned expression on his face. “Is everything okay out here?”

Reiner glares at him for the interruption. “Who are you?”

Eren steps towards you, glancing at you and Reiner. “I’m Eren, the RA for this building. Heard some yelling and thought I should check it out.” 

“Reiner is leaving now,” you murmur, avoiding Eren’s gaze, embarrassed. “I’m sorry for the commotion.” You turn to head inside, not bothering to wave goodbye to your ex, who stands there, watching you. Eren follows, sneaking glances at Reiner before swiping his ID at the door to let you both in.

“Coco,” he calls out. “Please.”

You ignore him, wiping your tears with the back of your shaky hands, listening to the door shut behind you. 

“Are you okay?” Eren asks, voice calm.

You face him, forcing a weak smile, eyes still wet. “Perfectly fine.” You turn to hurry into your room, overwhelmed and wanting to hide in the safety of your bed forever. 

Before you can, he grabs you gently by the hand, thumb brushing your knuckles. “If you ever need to talk or anything, my door is always open for you.”

You mutter a timid, “Thank you,” then rush down the hall and into your room, heart pounding against your chest. His comforting words replay in your head, trying to replace all that was said between you and Reiner.  

~~~

At the end of the week, Eren hosts a game night in the common room of the dorm building. He’s excited to bond with his residents with pizza from his favorite local Italian joint and some good old-fashioned Mario Kart. He lays the food out on the table and sets up his Nintendo console to the TV, the familiar opening sequence playing on the screen. Then, he patiently waits for his first guest. Fifteen minutes pass and still no one shows up. Where is everybody? 

At the thirty-minute mark, he lays down on the couch, staring up at the ceiling. The pizzas are surely lukewarm now, and the same tune playing on the TV is starting to grate on his ears. He texts Mikasa and Armin, complaining about the complete lack of attendees. Immediately, he gets a call from his sister. When he picks up, she states, “Eren, nobody is there because it’s the Friday night after midterms.”

“So?”

“People are getting ready to party. That’s what I’m doing, that’s what Armin is doing. That’s what everyone is doing.” 

Someone in the background yells, “Tell him to come out with us!” It’s Sasha’s voice. 

He groans, realizing his mistake. “I’m such an idiot.”

“You’re not. Just come out with us. You deserve a break.”

He considers it for a few seconds, before he replies, “Thanks, but I’m gonna head to bed.”

Sasha boos him. “C’mon, Eren! Join us! It’ll be fun!”

“I’m tired, Sash. Next time.”

Believing she can’t be heard, she whispers to Mikasa, “He always says that.” Well, she’s not wrong. 

Eren bids farewell to his friends, wishing them fun tonight. He lays on the couch for a while longer, trying to not to be too devastated at this failure of an event. Finally standing up, he heads to the table to begin packing.

“Am I too late?”

He turns around, surprised by her voice. The resident from down the hall, Room 104. The girl he’s seen cry at least three times now, the most recent being earlier in the week, outside the dorms. A small confrontation with the guy who Eren assumes is her ex, the cause behind all the tears. He was hoping to run into her soon, to check if she’s doing alright. He’s delighted to find her standing in the doorway, a small smile on her face. 

“Hey,” he greets, waving at her. She steps towards him, inspecting the plethora of food on the table. He rubs the back of his neck, embarrassed. “You’re the first person to show up, so we have plenty of food.”

She gives him a sympathetic look, opening the pizza box to grab a slice. “I’m sorry I’m late.”

He grins. “Hey, you’re here, aren’t you? That’s all that matters to me.”

As she settles in on the couch with her food, she explains, “I would have come earlier, but I was helping Annie get ready for a party.”

Eren takes the seat beside her, dropping a piece of pepperoni into his mouth. “I guess everyone really is going out tonight,” he muses, recalling what Mikasa told him earlier. 

“Well, not everyone,” she reminds him, smiling. His chest swells with warmth seeing this side of her. Eyes free of tears, cheeks rounded with happiness, relaxed in his presence. He secretly resents Reiner, or whatever that guy’s name is, for putting her through all the misery she’s had to suffer. 

They eat their pizza, chatting about arbitrary topics like favorite toppings, best local restaurants around the town, even a silly bet about who will beat who in a race. The upbeat melody of the Mario Kart intro still playing in the background is no longer annoying now that Eren has company. 

One box only halfway finished, they wipe their hands clean of pizza grease to start the game, picking their favorite characters. Eren always opts for Yoshi, because of course he’s got to get the green dinosaur. She selects Toad, going on about how adorable she finds him, doing a decent impersonation of his high-pitched, bouncy voice, causing Eren to bust out laughing. They race, moving their bodies along with their controllers, bumping elbows and shoulders with bright smiles on their faces. She nudges him in the ribs when he tosses a red shell at her, knocking her off the course to take first place. He taps her knee with his when he slips on a banana peel she strategically lays out for him. It’s competitive, but not serious, both of them gloating and teasing one another at their victories. After going through most of the courses, they play battle mode, teaming up together to destroy CPUs on the most difficult levels. 

After exhausting most of the game to their heart’s contents, Eren checks his phone, shocked that it’s already past 11 o’clock. He glances at her, checking if she’s ready to leave once they shut down the game. She remains beside him, her attention focused on the piano in the corner of the room. Pointing at it, she asks, “We have a piano in here?”, clearly never noticing it before.

He chuckles. “Yeah we do. Do you play?”

She shakes her head, standing up to approach it, sitting on one side of the bench. He follows her, taking his place next to her. It’s only now that he realizes how close they’ve been all night. His heart starts to beat faster for some reason. 

Finger at a key, she presses on it, filling the room with a very out-of-tune C-note. “Do you play?” she asks.

“Not much, just the basics really. I’m better at guitar.”

“Acoustic?”

“Electric,” he answers, resting his hand on the piano, hovering his fingers over a chord.

“Electric guitar is so cool. I’d love to hear you play sometime.” It’s an innocent suggestion. But for whatever reason, Eren is shy about the idea of her being inside his room, watching him play his guitar. And for a split second, he imagines what other activities they can do with each other, in the privacy of his bedroom. He catches himself, mentally waving away the potentially inappropriate thoughts. 

Desperate to change the subject, he suggests, “Want me to teach you something?”

She nods, eager to learn. He starts his thumb on a C-note. “This is a C-major scale. It starts here,” he presses down, wincing at how out of tune it is. “And then you follow through with the rest of your fingers. That’s a very basic scale, without complicating it too much.”

She does it easily, smiling at the keys in front of her. “Now can you teach me Moonlight Sonata?” she jokes. 

He laughs. “How about Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star instead?”

“Fine,” she says, fake pouting. She’s really cute.

By midnight, she’s perfected the lullaby, enough for the two of them to sing along to it. Even with the notes out of tune, it’s still pleasant to listen to. He then shows her how to play the easiest version of Heart & Soul, a fun duet they manage to practice together within the hour. She’s a quick learner, which he appreciates. After their performance, she looks at him, smiling. “You’re a really good teacher.” 

He brushes his fingers along the keys. “That was my dream job growing up. I always wanted to be a teacher.”

“A music teacher?”

“No, an elementary school science teacher,” he admits. “Thought it’d be so cool to blow their minds with little experiments or facts about the living things.” He stares distantly, a longing grin on his face, fantasizing an imaginary world where he’s pursuing a career he enjoys. 

“So, what made you want to become a doctor instead?” 

At this point, he’s speaking candidly, no longer worried about hiding the truth. He’s comfortable with her. “My dad. He’s a doctor, and it’s pretty much expected of me.”

“Are you enjoying it so far?”

“No, but at the end of the day, I’ll be helping people. And that’s what matters right?” 

There’s a small pause in the conversation as she pushes on one of the keys, the note ringing out in the temporary quiet. “Teachers help people too. More than what society gives them credit for. And besides, no one wants to go to a doctor who isn’t happy being a doctor, right?”

He faces her, processing her statement. “I guess I never thought about that.”

She continues, drumming her fingers lightly on the piano. “You shouldn’t force yourself to do something you don’t want to. If there’s anything I’ve learned these past few months, it’s that forcing yourself to be happy doesn’t actually make you happy. It’s silly to say that out loud, like it’s so obvious. But I’ve made a lot of excuses, pretending I was fine with decisions made on my behalf without my feelings being considered. It was always easier to go along with it, avoid confrontation or an argument. But at what cost? Sacrificing my own happiness? It isn’t worth it, especially when it’s your life that you’re living, nobody else’s.”

This is about her ex. There’s a strong urge to ask her about it, offer a lending ear to listen to what else is on her mind. But he doesn’t question it further. The words she speaks to him resonate. Although they’re both going through different struggles in their lives, she understands him better than he expects her to. Maybe more than anyone in his circle of friends right now. 

“I have a friend who’s an education major. Erwin Smith. His dad is also a teacher. I can give you his contact info if you want to talk to him?” she offers.

“I don’t know,” he responds hesitantly. He’s never considered changing his major. He can already picture the faces his father makes, disdainful and disappointment at his son “downgrading” his career. 

“It doesn’t hurt to have it, right? Just in case?” 

He thinks about it carefully before he eventually relents, whipping his phone out to type out the information she recites to him. She’s right; it doesn’t hurt to have it. It doesn’t mean anything. 

Phone still in his hand, he abruptly blurts out, “We should exchange numbers.” Almost instantly, he regrets it, aware at how inappropriate that would be. But when she grins at him, nodding, he’s immediately relieved. 

“I’m assuming this will be your personal number and not your RA emergency line?” she smirks.

Laughing, he confirms, “Yes, my personal number. I, um, enjoyed hanging out with you tonight. We should definitely do this again.” He passes her his phone as she does the same. 

“You’re teaching me Moonlight Sonata next, remember?” she jokes, tapping her number into his screen.

“Yeah, of course.”

She slips her phone back into her pocket. “Also, if you ever need someone to talk to or listen to you, I’m just down the hall.”

“Hey, that’s supposed to be my line,” he teases, nudging her elbow with his. 

“Well, you’ve helped me out way more than you know, so I want to do the same for you. Rely on me, okay? We’re friends now.”

Outside the room, students begin to stumble through the hall, back from their night of partying. Eren checks his phone, surprised to read 1:35 AM on the screen. “It’s already past 1. I’m sorry for keeping you up.”

“Don’t be. I wanted to be here with you. Thank you for hosting this.”

“Thank you for being the only person to show up.” 

They gaze at each other, smiling. He wants to stay like this a little while longer, but he knows it has to end. At least, for tonight. They’re friends now, and he’ll be able to enjoy that warm, vibrant smile more often, he hopes. 

“Anyways, we should probably sleep soon,” she suggests, glancing at the pizza boxes on the table. “I’ll help you clean up.”

“Thanks. Maybe we can hand some of these out. I bet someone out there has the munchies right now.”

She giggles. “Great idea, Mr. RA.”

They tidy up, clearing the room of trash and putting away the video game console back in Eren’s knapsack. She carries it with her while Eren balances the pizzas in his hands, offering a box to the passing residents that are not-so-discreetly drunk. By the time they make it to his room, he’s only got one left, deeming the event an overall success. Especially now that he’s made a friend from it. 

She sets the bag down on the floor, watching him unlock the door. “I guess this is goodnight,” she says, giving him a small wave as she begins to step backwards down the hall, facing him.

“Yeah. I guess it is. Sweet dreams, okay?”

“Sweet dreams, Eren,” she repeats, turning on her heel to walk to her room. 

~~~

You lay in bed, listening to Annie’s drunken snores beside you, mind focused on your new friend Eren. Snuggling closer to your pillow, you smile to yourself, happy for the first time in what feels like forever. It’s the most fun you’ve had this semester, and most importantly, it’s the longest you’ve gone without sulking about Reiner. 

It’s in this moment that you realize the baby steps you’ve taken so far don’t seem so small anymore. Things are finally starting to look up. 

Taglist:

@batafuraikisu @bloompompom @monirei @filunara @katestrophes @ichinosejager13 @hoperenae @zellskz @e-ayyy @liliorsstuff-blog @maliakealoha @holdmeclosebutdontloveme @chrollohearttags @sailorputa @squickkk @dnyllmh @hellomeow12 @s-cream-ing @potofstewie @conniesbbymama @erzascarlett28 @lem-hhn @roronoazorosbxtchh @ichigostrawberry15 @rhaelrence @lilshades @bigmoodyjoody @icansmellsouls @aangsupremacy @ashsauroras @bakuhoes-bxtch @mrs-wolfwood @si-kamo @jmtherula @imaddicted-b @monkemanjeager @neesiewrote @large-juice @chiinni @belovedackerman

[aluria-sevhex]

HELL FUCKING YESSSSSSSS

hey if you wanna read all of my posts as i play through ISAT, they are all tagged as #Aluria plays ISAT for the first time (please don't spoil)

notes:

-aight i'm back yippee

-title theme my beloved

-i always find it so funny when an enemy tries to freeze Mira

-gonna try this boss again

-ok i think i'll just replay Floor 3 on this loop instead of looping forward after i find out another one of Bonnie's favorite foods so i can build up everybody's stats

-OH. BONNIE OVERHEARD THE DEATH CONVERSATION.

-heh Bonnie slapped Siffrin

-uh... the audio is REALLY ominous...

-oh, Bonnie...

-WAIT WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT DID I JUST LOOP SLIGHTLY BACK IN THE PAST?

-Siffrin you ok i don't think that was helping ur mental health issues your eye is covered in shadow in your dialogue portrait

-i will once again NOT kill Siffrin via anaphylaxis. i will take the fish head

-...i didn't. get info on Bonnie's favorite foods this time.

-ok according to the save screen that didn't count as a loop

-anyway time to try looping to get the Bonnie snack info

-hey... the Tear dialogue isn't as silly anymore (it just says yes or no without the 'looping time' or 'living time')

-hey i didn't skip any loops this time!

-time to kill this pair of assholes again

-"carry my ashes with you" aw that's a sweet dialogue option

-i am so tempted to kill Siffrin. but i won't.

-awwww... i talked to Bonnie and now Sif is comforting them

-ok how the fuck do i get the info. BONNIE PLS.

-hold up. does Siffrin no longer nod when zoning out? :((((

-WAIT FUCK DID I FORGET TO GET THE KEY ON FLOOR 2.

-...Mira's roommate. was learning to make bombs. why???

-lol Isa knows how to make a bomb

-Mira has anti-anxiety meds. this makes a lot of sense tbh

-...what are these papers for???

-so i decided to try using the silver coin since a person said that you can do something with it related to the croissant lore. and it said "you think about the Incident" or smth like that lol

-lol Sif forgot the term 'stuffed animal'

-idk why but it feels like a lot of Craft skills are like. slower. or have bigger cooldowns in Act 3. even tho i KNOW they don't and my brain is fucking with me

-ok the game accounted for the key thing

-in the bathroom again

-Sif is calming themself again and figuring out what to do

-Siffrin, self-loathing and calling yourself stupid won't help :(

-i zoned out at some minor dialogue but i don't remember what the dialogue was the first time so i am fucking clueless about what was going on with a choice i made. sorry Mira idk why i 'saved you' by smacking your mouth ;_;

-i love getting to obliterate weaker Rock enemies with Paper α V

-i have now gotten Sif to level 60

-sometimes it's nice to take a break and talk to Loop

-wait a sec. doesn't one of the lower floors have a sharpening stone?

-ok it's been a while and now i have everybody back to level 52. time to kick the asses of the 3rd floor boss

-ooo Odile got a new skill

-time for the last snack break!

-Bonnie's upset now because i didn't try the fritters D:

-time to face the King again... and hopefully talk to him

-welp. *that* didn't work

-oh nvm now i can ask him questions via the Craft menu!

-you. you can give the King the flower.

-yeah the characters have a point! why Vaugarde specifically?

-the King is NOT responsible but he says Siffrin has an odd smell. huh... the only other things where an odd smell has been noted is Bonnie saying the star crest Sadnesses smell odd... but if Sif had that smell then it would've been noticed sooner...

-dude. how rude to say that if Siffrin doesn't understand Time Craft they can't understand the King's methods. maybe i should read more on Time Craft in one of the libraries? or that one book on craftonomy...

-the "you have heard this before" for zoning out got more and more annoyed

-once again. what does the King need to say?

-hm i was talking to Odile and Bonnie piped in really excitedly that they have more pineapple in their pocket

-GOD FUCKING DAMMIT MIRABELLE I LOVE YOU BUT YOU STOPPED ISA'S CONFESSION ToT

-time to talk to Euphrasie and loop again ig

-hey what's that in her hair?

-"you inhale sharply, almost choking on the smell of burnt sugar around you" BURNT SUGAR BURNT SUGAR THAT'S THE SMELL OF TIME SHENANIGANS AS SEEN WITH THOSE SADNESSES

-SAY SOMETHING ELSE EUPHRASIE

-how do i get the familytale?

-ok i talked to Odile and i'm gonna help her!

-am i gonna have to go all over town for this?

lmao yeah i think i will

-oh hey the wizard-loving kid is named Manon

-oh my god. i have to go back to the boulanger

-FINALLY

-:O THERE IS NO RESEARCH???

-oh THAT'S why Odile is in Vaugarde

-oh... her mom left... all of her travels here have been to try to reconnect with that part of her...

-HEY SIFFRIN I AM ONCE AGAIN ASKING WHERE THE *FUCK* ARE YOU FROM?

-damn. bro has amnesia

-LMAO I ASKED MIRA ABOUT THE PAPERS AND THE BATTLE THEME STARTED

-...bonding proposals???

-oh my god Mira joined a dating website group

-"we have one of those at home"

-"oh, i don't have a type! i like all kinds of people equally!" is this in a bi way or an aro way

-YEAH AROMANTIC REPRESENTATION

-DIVERSITY WIN! THE KICKASS HANDMAIDEN WHO'S IMMUNE TO BEING FROZEN IN TIME AND THE SORT-OF CHOSEN ONE IS ARO!!! I FUCKING CALLED IT YEAHHHHHHHH :D

-oh, Mira :( you're not the problem you don't have to do anything like that you're not comfortable with

-hm this game is dealing with personal identity a lot

-:( :( :( oh, Mira...

-DIVERSITY WIN!!! THE SKETCHY WANDERER STUCK IN A TIME LOOP WITH MENTAL HEALTH PROBLEMS IS ACE!!!

-MY BLORBOS ARE ACE AND AROACE FUCK YEAH I AM SO HAPPY

-FUCK IT I'M POSTING NOW

SERIOUSLY THO I DON'T THINK I CAN ACCURATELY CONVEY HOW FUCKING HAPPY THIS PART IS MAKING ME. TWO OF MY FAVORITES ARE ACE AND AROACE HELL FUCKING YES

[guiltycorp]

Okay finished the Haruspex route of Pathologic Classic! I need to play Clara's route to see the whole picture but I'm already fascinated by the differences between P1 and P2 in terms of characterization. I think I like Pathologic 2 even more now considering how they improved on Artemy's route, I am sorry to say I didn't like it at all in classic... This is all just my personal impression after first playthrough ofc. Ramblings about both Artemy and Daniil ↓ I think what bothered me about Haruspex was mostly just his attitude and his messiah plot. Once the first day is out of the way it's all smooth sailing for him, a bit too much so?? The only personal conflict he has is figuring out his father's exact wishes for him and choosing a sacrifice. Killing anyone is treated as fair or something that needed to happen and the Haruspex is always shrugging it off... And either option, Aglaya & the Town or Polyhedron... It just doesn't seem like he is that attached to either? So it doesn't feel like he is sacrificing much personally? Like sure he wants to save the Town because of his messianic qualities, but that's again more about fulfilling his 'role' rather than genuinely wanting to save lives, or at least it read that way to me. I'm sure it's meant to be both and P2 makes this far more apparent, but in P1 it elicited a rather squinty reaction from me. Plus well yeah, getting rid of Polyhedron is pretty much just ¯\_(ツ)_/¯, like yep he sure didn't care about that thing lmao so getting rid of it isn't such a difficult choice at all. The suggestion that the Polyhedron could be his Udurgh is kind of useless because the Town and Earth are far better candidates and fit with Kin beliefs better, which in this game Artemy pretty much doesn't doubt at all.  Maybe this is why the Bachelor is so present in his route? Daniil did say he'd commit suicide if he lost, maybe we'd want to think twice about pushing him towards it... But again! Does it seem like this guy cares ahhh haha... The dialogue option that is actually engaging with what Daniil said is pretty much there to make it clear to the player what the Utopian ending is and what it would be like.

Ngl at first I thought he was meant to be the 'sacrifice' until they said it's a woman. Every time Artemy learned something about the Bachelor's motivations he'd write down in his diary like '...if it matters' since the player can always choose what ending to go with I guess. I also find it curious that he can say that they are friends but still always writing only 'the Bachelor' in his diaries while Daniil switched to 'Artemy' and 'Burakh' during the final stretch. The one-sided yaoi................ 🤔 At least Artemy doesn't get mad at him for ordering to set the mythic bull on fire, I guess their friendship did mean something to him after all at that point. Also when Capella tells him that he should ask the Bachelor for help with getting into the Polyhedron since the Bachelor 'fawns upon you a lot anyway' the Haruspex just goes 'oh yeah! ok' fjdghdjg... Now that I think about it I DID like the Haruspex route for what it did with the Bachelor hahah, his dialogues and letters are just so good sometimes. Like wow, I felt this.

Very cool, if i was Artemy I'd totally abandon my weird murderous calling for this. Tangentially related... P2 had one moment that I remember from my last replay when Rubin, if kept alive, falls into a deep deserved sleep in his home, and Artemy just starts emotionally monologuing at him.

Like, P1 Artemy would never, but also it goes to show that he's still very much a repressed man here too, buying into toxic masculinity ideals who can't just talk to his friends about his feelings directly... The same character, but more complex. I want to make it clear that I DO like him and his motivations in P2 actually, and his personal conflict being more about the future of the Kin makes that game much more powerful to me than what his classic route was. I heard that initially he was planned to be far more violent and dark, so maybe he could have been sort of a villain protagonist and this was changed later and this is why it feels a bit bland? Hmm... Idk this is fun to me because meanwhile the Bachelor didn't feel that different to me in both games lmao. A highly stressed educated guy who is just trying to prevent the spread of epidemic the 'right' way and then clinging to the only chance he has left to preserve both his ideals and his life. He is a bit less polite in P2 at first (while still very much helping by warding off Rubin) but then rather quickly becomes more cordial to Artemy and vice versa (and wow it sure is nice when Artemy can actually be polite and friendly..). And the moment when he explains some of his personal deal to Artemy feels rather similar in both iterations mood-wise.

I liked his route in P1 a lot, surprisingly so, and I now understand why so many people liked him before P2 came out and afterwards too... There's just something very real about how he is the intelligent Capital doctor but with an extraordinary dream to combat death itself, possibly given to him by the Powers That Be due to these children trying to cope with people dying around them. And instead of favoring him for it they hate him! They leave him with nothing but this final chance to fix things, even if that means destroying everything and rebuilding anew. Daniil's desperation feels very real and thus more compelling, plus like... I mean it's pretty much confirmed that it's not just the Polyhedron and that the soil itself is 'rotten' (literally in the meta real world and through blood beneath the earth in the Town itself) and the decease could return again, sooo his ending doesn't look that bad comparatively. I also appreciated how Maria (or uhh was it Nina talking through her here as well?) explained how their Utopia doesn't actually mean a 'perfect' place, more so just an impossible dream.

The Bachelor doesn't mind this at all, a detail I loved.

...Hmm that said maybe P1 makes it a little too easy for him to kinda ignore the Kin issue, he is only mad about their circumstances when it comes to Vlad choosing to doom thousands of the Kin workers inside the Termitary (which is just his doctor ethics). I mean it is realistic for him to ignore the implications of representing the imperialist side, he does mention his father was a military man too at some point I think... Still, he is very quick to accept the Kin's unique beliefs as something that has obvious merit, trusting the Haruspex with that side of things in both of their routes, and he doesn't make much of a distinction between them and regular Town people when it comes to patient treatment. If anything it's probably a sign of how the writers weren't thinking that hard about this worldbuilding aspect at the time... even if I appreciated them showing the downsides of the Kin's society, I think those were done better than in P2 purely because it was a bit more realistic (I am talking about sexism mostly, such as selling their own daughters and not respecting their autonomy, plus the mention of Kin politics and different ruling clans rather than the hive mind situation implied in P2). Like, it is more obvious in P1 that wholeheartedly embracing the Kin's return to tradition isn't such a good solution for them either, but one that will likely happen anyway with Artemy and Taya as their new leaders. And it could get trickier in Pathologic 3 I think, especially since most of us really appreciated the portrayal of colonization in P2 and would expect it getting addressed again in future games of other character routes, but we'll see I guess! Either way I look forward to that game a lot now.

[beevean]

For the hot takes: on the topic of Lost World, what do you think of Tails' writing there? (I recently replayed the 3DS version and did not have a good time XD) I myself am of the opinion that his anger towards Sonic in Frozen Factory comes a bit out of nowhere. It's right after the scene wherein Sonic teams up with Eggman, and Tails expresses zero issue then. Besides, Sonic tells him he makes a good joke about Eggman asking "sooooooo nicely", and Sonic indicates he's not happy with this. So for Tails to be pissed the very cutscene after is a bit unfitting imo. But then at the same time, there is a scene later in the game wherein Tails nearly gets hurt by the Cubot-Crabmeat he made and Sonic scolds him for that. So while I get that could be a cause of concern for Tails that Sonic doesn't trust him, I simultaneously feel that Sonic never actually indicates as such; especially since that confrontation comes before Sonic scolds Tails. He says at the end he'll never doubt Tails again, but like... did he ever? What do you think? ^-^

I'm one of the three people in the world who enjoys LW's story, and that includes the idea of Tails giving in to his insecurities :P

But rewatching the cutscenes years later, yeah, it's odd to see Tails in Tropical Coast laughing with Sonic at his proposal to team up with Eggman, only to see him snap in serious anger the level after. It's not unfeasible that he let his thoughts fester off screen, so the more he thought about it the worse he felt... but that borders on the verge of doing the writers' job for them :P

I can be charitable and say that, since everything stems from Tails' insecurities, the fact that Sonic vocally protests about having to work with Eggman doesn't really factor in his breakdown. Actually, it might make it worse. So he knows that asking Eggman for help is a bad idea... but he still would rather do it than completely trust Tails? He still trusts Eggman that he's the only one who can shut down the machine?

Pontaff wrote Tails as someone who doesn't want to follow Sonic's shadow mindlessly. I always took the impression that they wanted to make him feel slightly older, like a pre-teen: still young, still caring a lot about Sonic, but growing up and not afraid of questioning him. You can see shades of this in Colors, where Tails pokes fun at Sonic "talking to dead robots", and the two get into some playful ribbing near the end where Sonic jokingly asks what Tails did during the whole adventure and Tails equally sarcastically points out that he was the reason they even understood the Wisps' plight. I know some people don't like this because it feels too meanspirited, but personally, I liked this direction because it felt like natural chemistry - naturally, there is zero indication that the two don't love each other any less, as the three major games penned by Pontaff have at least a scene where Sonic readily protects/goes to save Tails (man I love how uncharacteristically pissed he gets at the Zeti for this <3).

So, going back to LW, this is why I personally never questioned the idea of Tails briefly doubting Sonic. He might genuinely believe he was in the wrong, for once. It's one thing to allow Eggman to help in a situation like on the ARK where it was a matter of hours between life and death, but here? Trusting Eggman on the word? Why would Sonic do this? Why is he refusing to listen to him, like with the Conch that caused this whole mess in the first place? And ofc, this sentiment isn't helped by Sonic scolding Tails for "trying to help". See, even with the choppy development of Tails' anger, there's a good story here!

I do, however, take umbrage with the very ending, where Sonic is the only one to apologize for doubting Tails. That's just not true. Tails should have been the one apologizing for letting his insecurities getting the better of him! Sonic was just working with the information they had. This is really the only part I fault the story for.

Anyway, thank you for coming to my annual "Lost World's story is not that bad and it did a pretty good job analyzing Sonic's and Tails' flaws + this Eggman is unironically peak, and I don't understand why this game of all games made everyone act like Pontaff pissed on their wives" apology post :P

[strobichie]

just sae.

♡⸝⸝ summary: poor you decided to replay ddlc, but something seems wrong... why is monika sae?

little note: bachira is sayori, rin is natsuki, and isagi is yuri!!

your perspective:

i had recently gotten a new computer, there are so many things i still need to work with and customise to my liking.

so, to cure my boredom, i'm installing ddlc again and replaying it!

my favourite character is natsuki, i absolutely loved how adorable and relatable she just is. she reminded me of one of the kids i babysat.

after installing the win files i extracted them all and started the game up, as usual, i see the 4 dokis on the main screen on startup.

i entered my name of choice and started the game ---

wait, bachira??? FROM BLUE LOCK??

why was he sayori? not gonna lie, his sprites are really cute, but how..??

i re-checked the website i downloaded the game from but it displayed the 4 dokis there and there was nothing wrong..

huh, why am i being scared?

i should be grateful, honestly.

i've been blessed by the gods above!! for once i'm fucking lucky!

no way was i gonna pass up the opportunity to interact with my favourite anime characters especially since they somehow ended up in my favourite childhood game..!

i wonder who natsuki, yuri, and monika would be, though?

this is interesting! as i progress even more reading the dialogues and clicking on the chat box, after a few minutes of suffering i finally got to the literature club with bachira!

"seriously, a girl? way to be a killjoy." rin... RIN?!?!?!?!?!

OH MY GOD RIN IS SO HOT? HIS ATTRACTIVENESS SCALE WENT TO 100 TO 1000 SO QUICK!!

wait.. could that mean ---

ISAGI IS YURI!! YES!! MY FAVOURITES ALL IN ONE ROOM!!

i hope monika is kaiser or even better, anri..!!

gosh this got me feelin' so giddy and chipper in the early fucking morning..

i skipped a few of the dialogues, and abruptly stopped when a certain person came into view.

...sae? really?

what an eyesore. i hate sae, of all people, why sae?

sure he was similar to monika, but only in appearance. kaiser or anri could have been able to fulfill this role.

i sighed in annoyance, at least i have rin and the others...

i continuously skipped many dialogues and had finally gotten to the part where sayori, or in this situation bachira, hangs himself..

right, this was a horror game after all. did i really forget about the main plot?

i stared at the screen with an obvious frown. rin and isagi are next..

and the person behind all this was saeshit. ugh, seriously... well, good thing i can just delete his files at any given time.

progressing through the story even further, i got a special poem and cringed at the 'drawing'. it was bachira hanging in a humorous manner.

this was unfortunate.

i clicked on the chat box endlessly, wanting to speedrun to the moments of all my favourite characters deaths..

seeing rin crack his neck and isagi stab himself looking like a crazed maniac broke my heart. good things don't last.. this will probably be the last time i'll ever be able to play this version of the game.

then, here sae was, fuck was he smiling for?

"let me take a quick one of rin's cupcakes, these such are really good for a brother so shitty and nasty." i scoffed and gritted my teeth in anger, sae was clearly the asshole in their brother-ship.

i was met face-to-face with sae, i pursed my lips and stared at my computer screen.

"it's nice to talk to you even if it's by a dialogue box." is this even real?

"i know that you're thinking: is this legitimate? to answer your question, yes it is. i became self aware after everything in that god damn manga and anime called blue lock, i felt sick and tired of not being able to show up in the manga after a long period of time. somehow, i found a way to break the barrier between the fictional animanga world and reality as you call it." that was a mouthful. he was pretty talkative now. my burning hatred for sae cooled down a bit as he spoke more ---

"i found this 'cutesy romance horror' game and it had all the things i needed in order to cross over to the real world. this version of the game only exists on your desktop, {user}. is {user} even your name? are you even a girl?" he shot me a confused expression.

"honestly, i don't care anymore. even i started falling in love with you. i thought i wasn't capable of love, just like the original character monika, i fell in love with you." this sent a shiver down my spine, i sweat-dropped and continued reading his dialogues.

"you read that right, i love you. even if i'm not real, i love you. i won't ever let you leave me. i'll kill you even if you think of it." he coldly stated and i opened my file explorer, ready to delete his character file --- huh.. why couldn't i delete it?

"i'm disappointed, why would you wanna try to delete me? i love you, you should be grateful i love you." but i hated sae, i hate him!

"i've been practicing for a while, i think i can finally break the laws of physics and rules of nature between our worlds." uhm, does he even know what the fuck's he saying?

"i'll see you soon, goodbye {name}. i love you." HOW DID HE GET MY NAME? DID HE HACK INTO MY COMPUTER BECAUSE WHAT THE FUCK..?!?!?!

i was scared shitless, jesus christ, just what did he mean by all that? i force shut down my computer and rolled to my bed covering myself in my blankets. time to go back to sleep after that eventful experience.

short little fic, should i make a part two?

finally made a part 2!

[crazy-hazy-sims]

Tag Game: Nonsims interests

Thank you @freezerbnuuy for the tag!

honestly the moment i started thinking about this i suddenly forgot i like things sometimes lol

okay so,

Music: i know broad topic ! but music has been repeatedly saving my life since i was 13 so yeah! i specifically like symphonic metal so much it really combines my love for heavy gritty shit with the huge dramatically theatrical themes and also i like Numetal metalcore deathcore, the topics in these genres are very real and human they dont shy away from the ugly side of being alive and they dont care about being "hardcore elitist" like the rest of the scene, i also recently got into Goth music specifically ethereal goth again just hits the spot with the dramatically ethereal themes

games: i love games in general i love rpgs and point and click ones i know some people frown on that but idc lol unfortunately i am poor so i dont get to experience alot of games as i cant keep up with the many consoles and pc specs the new games require but what i can get my hand on i play forever!

Dragon age: im very new to the game and fandom only started playing last october but my god am i hooked im reading all these philosophical analysis pieces dissecting every word i come across i think i've replayed inquisition 5 times since october despite DA2 being my favorite!

Baldur's gate 3: im generally interested in D&D and the fantasy world of it so BG3 was like if you took that and intensified it by 1 million

warhammer 40k: this is the newest addition to the list i only played Rogue trader for now but damn i think i've spent a week straight researching it last month again i love big expansive fantasy worlds and steampunk and this is just a sweet spot between the two

the sims 4: i love the sims 4 so much when it allows me to do what i actually want to do meaning i hate that most of the content it has out for it is all sorta mundane realistic shit, i wish it was more fantasy geared ( are we surprised) if we ever get a fantasy life simulation game its over for sims 4 for me, but for now i enjoy it immensely because with the power of mods and my own storytelling and lore making i can shape it exactly how i want and that is a shit ton of fun

webtoon: i know some people think its cringe but idgf AGAIN i love fantasy stories and i originally consumed them by reading endless books and this is just an extension of that i read my webtoons daily as i have my breakfast lol

Lord of the rings: fucking obsessed BUT im not deep into the lore like some amazing people are i wish i had the attention span for such an extremely deep rabbit-hole!

fantasy maps and weapons: 2 things i research and draw often just always doodling and learning new things about them i love making fantasy maps and imagining the travel routs of the world

poems: i love both writing and reading poems although i dont write them much anymore i love reading them i stole a poems book from the school library once because i loved the poems and they were gonna put it in the back to make space for a popular series of novels

sewing: i would say fashion but im not interested in whatever weird planet destroying slave labor flaunting of wealth thats going on right now, i drawing new clothes and making them even if its hard as shit for me, i enjoy gathering inspiration making mood boards extracting motifs and designing clothes i do love sewing alot to but i get lazy with it because it involves math lol

ART: i dont think there was ever a time in my life where i didnt make any kind of art piece, even when i had an art block and couldn't get inspired by shit i still made something...badly... but still art is one of the few ways i can express myself and while i wish my skill didnt fluctuate so violently between " hey im skilled i know what im doing this is easy" to "this is a lost cause it feels like i've forgotten how to draw a straight line i should give up art forever and assimilate and become boring" i still live and breath art

okay thats enough lol

i tag: @smudgedbutter @xandezsims @occultradio @grilledcheese-aspiration @astravires @vampwan @azeterna @stormentsims @aniraklova @aliengirl and it wont let me tag more :( so if you see this you are tagged by me!

[sakuraonsaturn]

Expanding on my earlier post.

@thequasarwinds I will probably mostly be explaining things based on your reblog.

What I meant by lack of character information was more about lore and personalities then anything else.

Even though we got a bit of expansion on the characters, it isn't much more than what we learned in the first game.

Let's take Amanda for example. If I were to put my finger on anything we learned, it's that she has a more caring personality than what we saw in the first game. However, the rest of her personality is simply an expansion of what we saw in the first game. Her darker interests that go beyond the shows creepiness (her fascination with Mr. Fox and death in general in the first game), her interest in drawing, her sass, her impatience. All of it was there from the start. We already knew she was Rebecca Colton. Even the softer side of her personality was hinted at by her father Sam. Though with Amanda I guess we did learn quite a bit compared to most characters though we learned nothing about her lore-wise and no new questions seem to be posed.

We learned the opossum is supposedly Jordan Cook before we even got so much as a HINT as to what's happening with Wooly!

And Joanne. Oh, Joanne. Replaying the game made me realize just how LITTLE we got of Joanne. There is so much missed potential there. I wish they let us get to know her more. What her relationship to Kate and Jordan was like. How she felt about Amanda and Wooly especially. She'd been close friends with Kate, helping her on this case right? There's no way Kate didn't explain the truth right? How did Joanne feel about this? To know that Amanda was a trapped child just like her brother? Joanne and the opossum both seemed to get the short end of the stick. I really want to care about these two on the level we care about Amanda and Wooly but that's simply impossible when we haven't been given much to connect with them on. Why didn't she watch some tapes WITH us. Why does Amanda not trust her?? When replaying I couldn't help but wonder what the point of introducing her like this was if we were going to learn nothing? We didn't finish reading all the information in Kate's house, but Joanne would know. Why didn't she explain just... a little bit? IDK I wish we learned more about her. She wants to save Jordan? Why not reminisce about him a bit? Just a small bit of dialogue. Why not have her say some things about Kate? How we remind her of Kate? Some little chats or discoveries they made. Something. Again, the fact she never once mentions Amanda or Wooly directly is strange to me. She should know who they are. She should have her own thoughts and opinions on them. I think both endings would've had more impact if we got some little details about her here and there.

And Riley, we actually learned a couple details about them through notes and letters in the first game... but nothing in the second. Most people don't even seem to recall their name!

Then there's Wooly, and while I'll admit we learned some things. I am not trying to say we've learned NOTHING about these characters, simply that I feel like we learned more about them in their introductions. We still know NONE of Wooly's lore. We don't know of any hobbies he has. We learn that he doesn't like sad things and has some odd reaction to talk of "horror" he likes things that are quiet and peaceful. He clearly has a personality, but it's hard to pin down when we know so little about him.

Then there are the character retcons. Personality-wise they remain consistent. However, I have noticed that there are some inconsistencies in Amanda's powers and abilities. Some examples include:

Despite being able to injure and eventually kill Wooly all by herself, she seems a lot weaker to the opossum. In some scenes, not even attempting to handle him herself when all it would take would be a shove off the couch. It doesn't seem like her to just stand and watch as someone messes with her stuff. Even if she were to fail, I think she'd at least TRY to do something.

In the first game, the only objects that moved around were ones already present in the room. The second game confirms this was Amanda's doing.... but now she's summoning objects that would never be present in a library. Come on. Don't tell me that a library would have a lighter, a frying pan, a living frog, frog dissection tools, a nightlight etc. just laying around! So does this imply that Amanda can just summon random things from anywhere?

I feel like there was more but I simply can't remember at the moment.

As for lore... I remember noticing SOMETHING in my playthrough but I didn't write it down and ugh now it's going to bother me but again, I forgot. I said in the previous post that most of these critiques were small and didn't affect the overall quality of the game anyway so *shrugs* I did notice something about the opossum, but he's already got his own post I'm drafting so I'll save it for later.

For continuity issues, I mostly mean the jump from the first game to the second. Amanda (and Wooly, but Wooly is more understandable in this case) act very different in the second game. Amanda is a lot more calm and isn't really trying to tell us anything. Which could be because she told her secret, but I felt like in the first game a lot more was stressing her out then that secret. Since the game starts right after the first one ends and nothing has happened in between, this large of a shift in behavior doesn't make much sense to me. Like especially in the patience tape. She didn't have much skills managing her temper before, but now she does. No time has passed to show when she would have acquired these skills. Making her sudden ability to calm herself down seem confusing.

The vibes deserve their own post. Maybe I'll expand on this more, but Amanda 1 was WAY more creepy. There was constantly an unsettling vibe, this was supposed to be a kids show but it clearly didn't feel like one. These two kids going around doing activities kids don't usually do all alone in this big empty world. Wooly getting hurt. The whole picnic episode. The topics of the episodes themselves. None felt like they BELONGED in a preschool show.

Then there's the aspect I finally realized as to why as a whole Amanda 1 and 2 felt way too different. Something that always made the game scariest was Amanda and Wooly's general helplessness. They can control aspects of our life and world, but they were constantly terrified of some greater unseen force.

The game made it clear that these kids were stuck in this scary world with no one to help them. When you answer Nobody can help. Amanda sighs and says we're probably right. The fact that there is no doctor present for when they get hurt (which they clearly can). The fact that both wish to help the kitten in the cage but clearly can't. THE ENTIRE MEATMAN SCENE. There are multiple scenes in the first game that suggest Amanda and Wooly are not the most powerful beings in these tapes. They are stuck obeying the will of a stronger being. This, I think even subconsciously, is very scary because we know Amanda and Wooly don't want to hurt us. But this higher being they are so scared of? We don't know what its intentions are.

Amanda and Wooly felt too FREE in the second game. They were just doing whatever they wanted, and acting much more like a real kids show. That's fine... but I think we should've gotten one or two smaller scenes that just reminded us that they are not completely in control. We sort of got that with the broken tape... but idk it's just not the same? I realized Amanda 2 really felt too much like a kids show.

Welp Imma head out. There's still more I could say but this is the general gist of it. Enjoy this silly in-between of Amanda I accidentally paused on.

[thenugking]

Where is Lee post-epilogue? I know they romance Wyll, so does Karlach's ending impact that (i.e. going to Avernus) or did something else happen? Does their ending align with canon or have you taken it a different direction?

Aaaa this was a very fun question to answer, thank you!

So right now, the canon is that Lee, Wyll, Karlach and Astarion go off to Avernus together at the end of the game. (Astarion is also romancing Wyll and doesn’t entirely hate the idea of going off somewhere with no sun, Wyll talks to Karlach before the end of the game and goes, “look we’re all planning to go and fight devils in Avernus anyway, if you choose to live you won’t be alone”.) It made a lot of sense when I was playing the game--I’d never done the Avernus route before, romanced!Astarion’s lines for origin!Karlach indicate he’s more than happy to join his loved ones for the trip, Lee gets to end the game going off on a brand new adventure with their three closest friends.

I’ve been wondering a bit about changing it up since then though. It’s not a bad ending, but I don’t know if it’s the most thematically fitting one? I’ve been wondering about having the other three go to Avernus while Lee stays on Toril to try to help rebuild the city and make reparations for everything in their backstory, rather than running away to kill more people. I might also end up swapping a few of my OC’s endings round, and have Karlach become a mindflayer in Lee’s game?? Not sure about that one yet though--part of the appeal is just to have Lee’s in-game epilogue not be shit (going to Avernus with Karlach overwrites a lot of epilogue dialogue for being Durge and for romancing Wyll) but I don’t want to base a story decision on gameplay bugs. I'm definitely going to replay Lee eventually though, so hopefully once I do that, I'll come out with a more solid idea of what I'm doing with them here.

Anyway. Whether or not Lee goes to Avernus or stays to rebuild Baldur’s Gate, they’re eventually going to realise they have unfinished business and that they need to find a way to stop the Dead Three, or at least free the people they’re torturing in their various realms and put their souls to rest. I don’t know how they do this, I don’t know if this actually can be done in Forgottem Realms lore, but I fundamentally do not vibe with any lore where people get tortured for eternity so I’m doing it anyway.

The point is, Lee’s remembering more of their past. They’re remembering how terribly they treated Gortash and wanting to set him free from Bane as some sort of reparation. They’re remembering that they had two sisters once, and Orin might be free from Bhaal now (Lee stays away from her themself, but they ask Jaheira to keep an eye, and Orin seems to be doing well and less murderously!), but no one ever did anything to help Helena. 

I do not have detailed thoughts for much of this. There’s a few things here and there--Karlach and Lee initially have a disagreement over Saving Gortash, but Karlach is a better person than he was and ultimately doesn’t think he should be tortured eternally either. Orin is involved with Fighting Bhaal, I also want to get Real!Sarevok (not the fake BG3 one) to meet Lee and give advice, maybe also Imoen. (I’m not sure yet whether to accept the Journal of Villainy canon for Imoen. There’s a lot in it that I reject, but I am a vampire fan and it would give me a reason tokeep her around during BG3. Ask me again once I’ve finished BG2 and have a stronger grasp on my Charname’s story.) Helena comes to some kind of peace with Lee, Orin, and her mother and gets her soul put to rest, because oh my god the shit I've put her through making up backstories. Lee and Orin have a conversation, Orin reaffirms that she wants Lee out of her life, because you do not get to keep your sister after doing All That to her, Lee lets her go. It's very bittersweet. Also I guess we’re rescuing Ketheric’s soul somewhere in all this. The only thought on that I have is that he’s probably even less thrilled to see Lee again than the rest of these people are.

Eventually, Lee’s going to want to settle down and not be in a position where they end up going out and killing people, even if for good reasons. They’re going to keep living with Wyll and Astarion, and probably also Karlach, and several years down the line, maybe some kids. I think Wyll definitely wants kids, Astarion would prefer to be a Cool Uncle figure with fewer responsibilities, and Lee is a mixture of enthusiastic and terrified. I don’t know if there’s a fostering system in Baldur’s Gate, but if not they’re getting one invented, because they very much want to be sure they’re safe around kids before committing permanently to this. Any children are absolutely going to be adopted, rather than biological.

Other than that, Lee continues learning about those they killed from Withers, because they want their victims to be remembered. They keep making their little bone sculptures, they just ethically source their bones now. They stay in contact with all companions except Minthara (she was not thrilled about Orin being spared). They keep trying to grow, and be better than they were yesterday.

[queen-scribbles]

listening ear

Pre-relationship (voyage to Tir Fradi) Ves & Kurt, as I cross my fingers and hope nurturing a plot bunny will stave off the desire to replay her for the fourth(fifth?) time. ---

The thing about traveling by ship was that it got boring after a few weeks.

The thing about traveling by ship with Constantin was that when he got bored he started to talk.

Not much thought to the topic, or propriety, anything was fair game. Rumors, gossip, complaints, new things he learned, teasing. Vesper had heard all about his seasickness("it's unrelenting, Ves, I may die"), his unrequited crush on one of the Nauts("I'm doomed to pining"), the sailing vocabulary he'd picked up, and light-hearted ribbing about her choice of books.

Perhaps that was why, today, she sought an excuse to be preoccupied when he went on the prowl.

She found Kurt in one of the lower holds--half-full, large rings in the walls; maybe for securing cages with those creatures?--replacing the leather that bound the grip of his zweihander.

Absorbed as he was, he still spoke even before he looked up. "Need something, Green Blood?"

"I was hoping to get some practice." She rolled her shoulders. "With swordplay."

"Keepin' your edge or lookin' to improve something?" Kurt asked, giving the leather a twist as he neared the bottom.

"Both to an extent," Vesper said, rolling up the sleeves of her shirt. "But I have been thinking about the day we left. My weak right guard? We could work on that, once you're done?"

"Whatever y' need, Excellency," he shrugged, starting to tie off the leather. "I'm yours to command."

"You can take the time to finish," she protested with a smile. "I'm hardly in a rush." She bit her lip. "I can even help if you need an extra hand."

Kurt gave her a keen look, grey eyes glittering with amusement. "Hiding from your cousin, are you?"

"Am I so obvious?" Vesper groaned, leaning against the wall. "I love him, and I'm loathe to hurt his feelings, but if I have to listen to another recitation of rigging vocabulary I may go mad."

She could confess these things to Kurt. He knew her, knew how she loved Constantin. He'd not breathe a word that, just once, she wanted a break from playing the listening ear, and he wouldn't judge, because he knew her cousin. She appreciated that a great deal.

He chuckled. "I do have the advantage of knowin' you a long while, Green Blood. Doubt it would be as clear to anyone else here."

"What a relief," she said drolly. "Hate to start a rumor."

Another chuckle as he eyed the zweihander grip. "As to your offer... I'm nearly done, but if you could hold it steady there" --he indicated a spot--"it would make the final binding a good bit easier."

"Of course." Vesper pushed away from the wall and rested three fingers in the spot. She watched his hands, methodical, confident, as he worked. "It looks almost like wound binding."

"S'ppose it is," Kurt grunted, tying it off at the end. He reached for a small knife to trim the excess.

""I suppose you have practice with that as well, then," she murmured absently, withdrawing her hand and eyeing how well done the wrap was.

"My share," he shrugged, then cleared his throat. "Ready to practice, Excellency?"

"Mm... oh. Yes." Vesper brushed at hair that wasn't really loose and glanced around. "Do you think here will serve? Or do we need to seek out more space?"

Kurt surveyed the hold. "If I'm gonna do my usual, a little more overhead might be wise." He reached up and tapped the rafters. "Don't think our esteemed captain would like me puttin' dents in his ship."

"Probably not," she laughed in agreement. "That means either the lower hold for a higher ceiling but darker surroundings, or up on deck."

"D'you have a preference?" he asked, arching a brow.

Vesper met it with a wry smile. "Do I mind having an audience, should you land me on my backside again, in other words. No, I do not. I just need.... practice. A break." She scuffed one boot against the deck, vaguely guilty for voicing the sentiment. "From indefatigable chatter."

Kurt nodded, understanding that bordered on amusement flashing in the grey of his eyes. "Everyone has their limits, Green Blood, that's no failing." He stepped closer, clapped a hand to her shoulder. "Below decks will suit just fine."

She flashed a grateful smile and they retrieved practice blades before heading down to the lowest holds. Best to not risk damaging anything with real weapons, no matter their respective skill.

She did need this, Vesper mused, blunted rapier in hand as she took up position. Even aside from--temporarily--avoiding Constantin, she should polish up her skills. Words had always been her preferred weapon, but they were heading to a new and largely uncharted island. She highly doubted any wildlife would respond to silver-tongued negotiation as well as Gacane gentry.

She couldn't always leave defense to Kurt. (Even if he would argue yes she could, it was his job.)

The thought of her bodyguard pulled her from her reverie, and Vesper found him watching her. "Sorry."

He didn't comment on her moment of distraction. "Your move, Excellency. Seeing as it's just us."

"Ah, yes, you don't have underlings to fling at me first," Vesper teased.

"I'll just have to make up the difference, won't I?" Kurt drawled. "One to one's better if you wanna work on a specific weakness, anyway."

She tipped her head in concession and tested the feel of the dulled rapier. "Always looking to improve." She missed the back-up of her pistol, but that would be unwise on a ship even if this wasn't just practice. She studied Kurt's stance, looking at feet, hips, shoulders for hints how he would defend. She made two strikes to his right side, then feinted a third before making the actual attempt left.

Kurt parried them all, though barely for the third, and shifted offensive even as he laughed. "Very good, Green Blood. Keep the hilt up more an' you'll be in a better position to guard."

He punctuated the words with a swipe toward her sword hand. Vesper instinctively dropped her arm to avoid it. This lowered her blade and left her vulnerable to his when he swung back. She only just corrected in time.

"I see why you want to work on it," Kurt said, pressing his advantage, "but your reflexes are quick enough to balances out most weaknesses."

As if if to underscore the 'most', Vesper's heel caught on something and she stumbled even as she deflected his strike. "You're very sweet, Kurt, but we both know swordplay isn't my forte." She regained her balance, but too slow to entirely avoid another hit. She winced as his blade caught her wrist.

"Adapting is, though," he countered, blocking her return strike and grinning when the follow up actually glanced off his shoulder. "You're better at rolling with change than damn near anyone I've met in my life."

"Hm, well, thank" --blocked--"you." --blocked. She remembered his advice and kept her hand in a better position. "It's a skill I've cultivated thanks to my dear cousin pulling me into ever-changing circumstance."

Kurt laughed. "He does that."

"Not that I mind," Vesper hastened to add. She wrinkled her nose as Kurt's blade tapped her hip. He was holding back and that wasn't what she wanted. "I love Constantin dearly, but-"

"He has a habit of gettin' you in situations," Kurt said, amused, and abandoned all pretense of sparring, leaning on the blunted zweihander instead. "Green Blood, I've helped you get him out of more of 'em than I care t' count. You don't have to pretty your words around me."

"Suppose you do know both of us well," Vesper said with a sheepish chuckle. "I've appreciated your backup on those occasions, by the by."

"Just doin' my job," he said with a shrug.

She believed that about as much as she believed in flying dogs. "On that note, are we done so fast?" she asked.

Kurt's smile matched her own mood. "Though you might want a breather."

"Considerate, but I doubt brigands or beasts will show the same courtesy."

"Well, then." He swung the sword back up into position. "We can continue, if you'd rather."

Mindful of overextending herself, Vesper still stepped forward to strike at his knees and then shoulder in quick succession. Her gamble on speed over strength half-paid off. She didn't hit his shoulder, but she did catch just below his elbow as he got the zweihander up to block.

Kurt nodded approvingly, then aimed two hefty blows at her right side--in almost as quick succession as she'd done.

Vesper didn't have time to dwell on the strength it would take to do so; she was too busy trying to keep her guard balanced and deflect at the same time. She blocked the first one. Hopped over a crate jutting out. Half-blocked the second, but it caught her enough to knock her off balance. She sat down hard, dropping her rapier in the process.

Rather than hold his sword to her neck or something too mark victory, Kurt offered her a hand up.

"Clearly I still need work," Vesper deadpanned as she accepted.

"You are improving, though," Kurt said. "And I think you're better than you credit yourself."

She opened her mouth to contradict, to tease he was biased because he'd taught her, but closed it again. Aside from being a skilled swordsman, Kurt had never once shined her--or Constantin--on regarding skill. Honest assessment, only and always. "Thank you," she said instead.

He tipped his head. "D' you want to go again, or are you satisfied for now, Excellency?"

"Perhaps one more?" Vesper asked, almost apologetic, her nose wrinkling.

"As y' wish." Kurt let go of her hand and stepped back to take his stance again.

Vesper mirrored the action, running scenarios in her head, trying to gauge adjustments. Kurt didn't wait for her this time; going on the offensive with several attacks meant to immediately overwhelm. Despite that, she did much better this time--she even hit him once or twice--before her back thumped the hull. Mind your surroundings.

Kurt and his blade pressed close enough to spell her end if he actually bore her ill will. But only for a moment, before the sword lowered.

"Fast learner, Green Blood," he said approvingly as he disengaged and took a seat on one of the nearby crates, signaling an end. "Always were; shouldn't surprise me."

Vesper raked dark brown hair out of her eyes and perched on another crate, facing him with their legs crowded together. "I have a good teacher, which certainly helps," she said lightly.

Kurt grunted and waved off the praise. "It still needs work, mind, but you're comin' along."

She hummed a laugh. "Well. Good I have you watching my back until I improve, then."

"That's my job." His gaze dropped to the crates and he snorted a laugh. "Well. There's irony for you." He shifted, giving the crate Vesper sat on a light kick.

"I saw," she said with a smile. The Coin Guard seal and bright swipe of colored marking had been hard to miss. "I'm glad to see they're safe, after the machinations it took to get them aboard."

She wished he wasn't so quick to deflect compliments, but she'd let him get away with it. For now.

"Aye." They both looked up as voices floated from above, and Kurt pushed to his feet. "S'ppose we should make our way topside, before your cousin works himself into a right fit at you bein' missin'."

Vesper laughed as stood as well. "You do know us well."

His eyes gleamed as he gestured for her to lead up the stairs. "Well enough to say I'm more than willing to distract when you need a break from the role of listening ear."

She paused on the stairs, sure her merriment showed on her face as she looked back. "A sacrifice most appreciated, noble captain."

Kurt gave a half-serious salute and Vesper laughed before resuming course for the upper decks. It had been nice to have someone play the listening ear to her, for once.

[greeb-theartist]

Made a really big rant on wambus in my friends discord server, wanted to share it;

I wanna do a really big info dump on Wambus and Triffany's relationship and also talk about Wambus himself cuz he's pretty cool and I'm really fixated on him now... so:

I think a lot about Wambus tbh. Lemme explain. I feel like that's why he's so attached to Triffany, and everytime she doesn't come back for days and nights on end you can see it in the beginning of this game he just has this gut feeling that she's not coming back for him. I'll say it once and I'll say it again, wambus did not cheat on triffany with the cactus. cactriffy was created because of Wambus' unstable emotional attachment to Triffany.

When Triffany doesn't come back for awhile, rather instead of bottling his feelings up and exploding one day on her way random he tries to talk to the cactus about it. Cactriffy is a type of coping mechanism for him to deal with his abandonment he feels like he facing. Wambus is stubborn though, a crucial part to his character yes, but Triffany is too and I believe that is what many people in the fandom forget. He didn't cheat on her, she didn't cheat on him, all that happened was that they were both too set in their ways and hobbies to apologize to one another.

I feel like what people in the fandom also don't consider is that Triffany held her stakes *way* too high for Wambus. She expect so much of him it seemed, and it can probably come from her whole ordeal she has to be like her grandmother and such. They both have expectations they've tailed to live up too, and have different ways of coping with it. Triffany's way however seems to be staying away from humanity, more comfortable with intimate objects. Wambus is too, but he also misses feels like he failed Triffany so much he can't be forgiven, he can't be believed in anymore.

Speaking of not feeling he can be believed him anymore, I feel like this fandom tends to ignore his death voices lines. Wambus DIES thinking he is a failure, the others do not. His death is unique because it points out something about him: He was so set in his beliefs, he didn't realize Triffany loved him. And the truth is? It's because she didn't show it as much as she should. The whole reason why Triffany plans to grow a garden of all his favorite plants and such is because now the failure has shifted to her. She's now realized she's failed him not only as a wife but as a friend too.

With this next part I'm stepping into a bit of theoretical theory, but when watching @doomedpuppetyuri replay bugsnax, it had shown me a few times where Wambus was often mistreated by the cast. Take for the beginning party for example, I am always extremely infuriated by how people make such a joke of it. When Gramble says to Wambus "you don't know a thing about love, that's why your wife left you" it feels like an assumption. Triffany did *NOT* in any way leave Wambus, there a difference between packing up your things and leaving someone behind us. A stubborn personality getting in the way of an apology. They were not divorced in anyway or how, they were simply doing their own thing to handle their lives. Another thing I've noticed is Gramble often brings up Wambus a lot more than Wambus brings up Gramble. People forget that Wambus never starts the arguments, he is easily agitated. He doesn't speak much either. Same thing with the whole idea people have where Wambus threw cromdo out of spite or something. Cromdo, like the man he is but no hate to cromdo I love him probably agitated Wambus in some way that made him do that, and a small detail too is that in the DLC, Floofty has picked on Wambus too once (stating, Wambus doesn't trut Floofty since the 'Noodler Incident')

(And also I just wanna say no hate to any other characters I mention in this I've just noticed this about their relationship with Wambus.)

Wambus' emotions are their own topic themselves, because people often forget he's grumpy all the time, people make him grumpy. He's easily able to change his mood depending on what he's exposed to from other Grumps, and it feels like the some of other Grumps aren't nice to him. But Wambus is also at fault here sightly, because he's not the best at handling criticism and such, his mood can often change. Take the first scene where we meet Wambus for example: due to his stubborn qualities, when Filbo says something (accidentally) it provokes Wambus to be more hostile towards him. However, you can tell he is regretful. He is regretful when he apologizes to Filbo, Gramble, and Triffany.

Anyways I hope you enjoyed this has probably been my longest ramble ever on wambus troubleham 💔💔

[lavender-teardroplettes]

You should do Miguel and Si hcs (Weathering Feelings VN)

Since idk how many people have played it I’ll suggest doing so before reading this post since it’ll contain spoilers!

Hcs under the cut!:

This one’s a little more interesting than most to me due to the nature of the game and Miguel looking at the PLAYER and less so the stand-in he has for you in game, gets a little meta in the best ways in my opinion. UwU

Si would find the general idea for the game really cute assuming the download page is a little different from the irl itch page and doesn't include any spoilers. It would be neat if the moment he downloads it the page is gone since it's meant for him and no one else. (though this is an open mc headcanon even if it wasn't Si, I just think it's a neat idea). While he knows games aren't the same as getting real therapy, sometimes it's nice to harmlessly vent to a game just to get it out.

I think he'd play a "normal" route where he wouldn't notice anything off about the game just yet, not hitting the right flags right away and putting the game down for a day or two before booting it up again to try and get a new route with one of the other Doctors before going back to try and do a better route with Dr. Nubloso....only to get him again even after picking different answers. Weird...but he thinks "maybe I have to hit a flag first and clear his route first." He does better the second time around, but now things are getting...weird, and he notices that the game sprite seems to be looking directly at him.

Once he gets to the part where things get really weird and Dr. Nubloso starts talking about going into the game files before the route ends, Si gets really spooked and closes the game again. He's surprised and a little shocked at the change of pace in the story, but he also can't help but be a little curious about what would happen if he did delete the file. It's also around 2-3 am at that point of time, so he also thinks that maybe he fell asleep or misread something in his sleepy state. He sleeps on it, opens the game again, and plays through one more time to make sure, once again giving different answers, and once more getting the Cloudy Day therapist.

Once he confirms the weird ending and the request of deleting the file, Si looks around in the game files before finding it. His curiosity gets the better of him after a little debate with himself, and he does. Now....When he boots up the game again he is NOT expecting to see Miguel at all, and he certainly wasn't expecting to be talked to directly. He almost yelps and turns off the game again, but something pulls his attention to the new development and tells him to stop and hear him out. Maybe he's overacting and this is just really good...specific writing? So he plays on, almost exhausting each available line of dialogue Miguel has for him, even replaying them a few times before Miguel acknowledges what he's doing and gives him the whole 'oh, you're testing me and my loyalty' speech. And...he has to admit, he does feel a little bad for the character by that time....that is until he hits the nsfw route and gets WAY MORE flustered than he should've been. And yes....he played both routes. ovo

By the end of it, he gets the ending where Miguel resolves to break out of the game for him, and he's left confused when all that loads after is a glitched screen. He does some more digging in the files and finds some "easter eggs" from Miguel, getting flustered at two of the special pictures hidden in the files. Curiouser, Si- seemingly out of a whim- decided to read the game's script...and his stomach drops when he notices little notes hidden in the game's files from Miguel- even down to the nsfw scenes. Before he can really react or fully process that this could be real, there's a knocking at his door..... Miguel came to find him just like he said he would. :)

That's all I really have for now since it's been a hot minute since I thought about how this would work given what we have with the current demo, but as you can see it's a really fun premise to play with!

[rivalsforlife]

hello!!! sorry for the long text (and for possible mistakes in this) in advance!!

in december last year i stumbled upon your fic "the catch up game". i decided to read it and honestly that was the best decision of my LIFE. that is the best fanfic ive ever read. this changed my life actually. i remember being impressed at how amazing the characterization was and how everything felt so canon. i was awake until 4 am reading because i couldnt sleep without knowing what would happen next. i started to cry while reading, not because of sadness, but because EVERYTHING was SO GOOD that i wasnt able to express my emotions properly and all i was able to do was CRY.

recently, after months have passed, i've decided to read your fanfic again, and everything was even better than before. i felt all the emotions again, and i was awake until late to read again, and i cried because it was great AGAIN. after i finished reading, i decided to read your other works and EVERYTHING is so well written!!!!

i should say that i LOVE the way you interpret narumitsu as a ship but more importantly as individual characters. i love the way you interpret the other ace attorney characters as well, they all feel so,,, alive? idk how i should put this (im horrible with words, sorry sgdugshs).

all i wanted to do telling you all this is: thank you. thank you for sharing your writing with us. know that when you write again (if you want to, of course!) i will be there to support you!!! i deeply admire your work and you deserve ALL the kudos.

well. i think thats it. i hope you have a good day/night <3 <3 <3!!

🥺 this is such a sweet ask, thanks so much for reaching out!! I'm so glad to hear that my writing had such a strong effect on you and that you enjoyed my works!

ace attorney is always so much fun to write because they're all fantastic characters on their own, but the games have all these great relationships between the characters and such a strong emphasis on platonic relationships as well (which might not be the thing to bring up while talking about a narumitsu fic, but it's always something I want to pay special attention to). Especially with the catch-up game which I intended to be more of a Phoenix characterization study/exercise I wanted to pay at least a little bit of attention to all of his important relationships!

I remember hearing writing advice once that you should have a general idea of what every character in a scene has going on in their own life, like where they came from before this scene, what they're doing after, what's the pressing issues on their mind, etc, so it doesn't feel so much like "and Maya stands off screen until she comes back in to talk about Phoenix and Edgeworth's relationship". So I'm always super happy to hear when people notice things like that because it means I'm doing it at least a little bit correctly!!

Anyways all that is to say that I really appreciate this ask and it definitely brightened my day. I know I haven't posted anything in a while (school + unemployment hell year + more school and now work??? have done a number on me). I have been writing, but I always want to wait until things are done before I post, and I think I've officially hit the year and a half mark on this project as of today, but I have no idea how much longer I'll be able to stand it before I decide it's too much work to wrangle this thing into something I like - and it's not ace attorney anyways and writing characters for the first time and figuring out how they sound is always a bit terrifying. (There's like 2/3 longfics that are the first things I wrote for ace attorney that I've abandoned.)

Maybe replaying aai2 when the official version comes out will motivate me to write more AA, because I do have one good narumitsu idea in my head that I hope I'll be able to write? But either way I'm glad that even my work from four years ago (!!!) is still having an effect on people. Catch-Up Game is still my favorite thing that I've written and I'm always happy to hear people liked it!!

This got more rambly than I intended sorry about that. Thanks again for the very sweet ask. I hope you have a good day/night as well!!

[thegirlgraves]

decay ch3 route predictions ˚₊·

lately i've been rewatching and replaying tcoaal in preparation for decay chap 3, so i can fully take it in and understand the nuances. as well as noting the devlogs and extra youtube content. while most of my points are popular-fandom census, i wanna write down my predictions and then compare them once the actual game drops!

I AM SO EXCITED FOR THE MORAL DECAY OF ANDREW GRAVES.

i really see this (image 1 above) little doodle of the graves siblings as a big hint for what the routes will potentially be, specifically:

"as much as i love a good murder-suicide, maybe we should look within to figure out why we treat each other so horribly?" // "...or maybe i should fuck you." (image 1 source)

comparing this text with the chapter 3 "outcome map" (image 2 source), with every single ending/fail state you can expect to hit. counting all of them up, there are 3 fail states, 2 endings, and 1 cliffhanger. with seemingly a major decision related to trust, like chapter 2's "trust him // fuck that!!", kicking off the tree of endings and scenarios that can happen, in which shattering that trust will only lead to bad things.

~

the 3 fail states are most likely something similar to the hit-man for chapter 2, where they suddenly get killed or caught, nothing super notable as these are treated somewhat non-seriously, knowing they're not "official" endings.

the 2 endings are going to vary wildly, in my personal view, the "Ending" and the "X" are both endings related to the major trust decision from earlier. (i choose that its related to trust, but it could be about anything.)

in the "Ending", some kind of truce will happen that will be similar to burial? instead of "addressing the underlying decay", they bury it again, in favor of ashley keeping andrew at bay by exploiting his Fonder feelings for his sister, and she uses that to keep him subdued as to avoid him snapping on her potentially. Maybe a happier outcome of this prediction will happen though, i'm down to being surprised!

meanwhile, in the "X" ending, i am almost SURE this is where the decay vision comes true, a murder-suicide taking place in some dramatic fashion. due to ashley not trusting andrew or, she kills him first (VERY doubtful she could actually do it), really how this plays out i am uncertain of, just sure that this is where the murder/suicide will happen.

this is a smaller prediction, but i have a feeling that the "Big Decision" for this chapter will be if ashley decides to fess up about the vision to andrew, or if she keeps it quiet. i really predict that her keeping it bottled up will only irritate the already-on-edge andrew, causing his trust in her (the only person he trusts left) to crumble, causing the murder suicide. just my guess!

and, for the final ending that ends on a cliffhanger, it really makes me think that it potentially has something to do with the siblings being separated, due to the excessive devlog content about the two siblings being trapped in the demon realm, or at least visiting it VERY frequently together, while there's not much holding this, andrew attempting to make a deal with the demon could have something to do with them being separated. (image 3 source)

theres a LOT of screenshots with this demon realm, and andrew and ashley hanging around in it (you should scroll through the other devlogs, if you haven't yet!), which makes me think it's what the chapter 4 extension of chapter 3's decay is for, and the only way for a cliffhanger to sting is for some big change to happen... >:)

whatever happens, i'm down for, i just wanna get my two-cents in BEFORE the chapter releases, so i can compare what my predictions were to what actually comes out :D

[snapsnzips]

Why Am I Even Here? My Initial Dragon Age: Inquisition Reaction

I didn’t even like DAI at first. Especially coming in hot from DA2 and a lifetime of built in keyboard habits from Bioware games. Suddenly trying to click-to-move has me stopping and shooting. I can’t walk around using my mouse buttons while I drink some coffee or have a snack. Every time I try to pause the game I jump and the pause is now way off where my small handed pinky can’t really reach.

I’ve always played dual wield rogues. I love them. I instantly hated them here. No DA2 gap closer, no click to move if I’m not quite close enough, she kept ending up back in front of mobs no matter how I positioned her. No health bars or nameplates on mobs, they were impossible to see for someone overwhelmed by the input of a new game.

Also wtf is that tactical cam? As a diehard DA:O combat enjoyer, I was in shambles.

I can’t name my save games, I have to maintain a text file with save timestamps of things I want to keep.

I had to be standing on top of something to loot it with no click to move for better repositioning. The hold key is more of a suggestion to your party than a command that they actually fucking stay where I put them. Releasing a party from hold (if they actually stood still for more than 5 seconds) is now a separate keybind.

I finally made it to the tutorial boss and was so mad about how bad melee rogues play that I restarted the next day with a mage. Things got a little better.

I remapped jump to a mouse side button. I remapped disengage to another mouse side button. I put pause on the key it’s used for the last fucking 20 years of bioware games. I gave up mostly trying to get my party to stop moving. (I’m never doing the temple puzzles again where it requires everyone to stand in really specific spots all over the room). I installed mods that:

widened search radius

constantly search pinged

extended gathering reach

quicker looting

more banter

deshine (why tf is everyone soaking wet?)

more hair mods because again bioware hair is all square blocks

HD textures

A Reshade preset

complexion textures

beard edits for the male NPCs because wtf is that facial hair?

And then I restarted again to get something better out of the character creator.

I ended up with a bunch more mods but those are the big ones. I finally ended up needing mods to stop Maryden from singing so loud when I’m talking to people, to shut up Xenon because he’s so loud and stop the requisition officer from talking so she stopped interrupting banter that triggers on zone in.

Weirdly I don’t hate table missions. Although I wish some of them could have been side quests. I managed to kill my Dalish clan at least once and also killed off the Wardens in a set of missions. At first I thought table missions were purely flavor so I didn’t realize I could accidentally murder people and get really bad outcomes. I honestly don’t mind the war table although I did eventually cut mission length to 50%.

I got a conversation zoom-in mod as well. The default conversation zoom is so impersonal it just felt bad. The game should allow more zoom in during none cutscenes.

In case you can’t tell, I’m a game restarter. I often need two or three starts into a game before I can finish. I’ll restart and play the intro a few times to get a feel for what’s actually going on once I’m no longer overwhelmed. I’ll also restart halfway through if I realize I’ve made some really irredeemable mistakes (those conversation wheels don’t always mean what you think), or if I realize I’m really into what’s going on and want to replay what I’ve already done for a deeper understanding before moving forward with my story.

Restart scenario: I had been playing DA2 from my original pre-order disc from over 10 years ago. When it went on sale over Christmas, I bought it so I could play the DLC. Which I did then realized as I was part way through act 3 that I didn’t want to go there again. Anders my beloved.

Since there’s no way to save a character outside a new game, I had a lot of early false starts with DA:I. But that’s probably a story for a next post.

[anonzentimes]

when i played danganronpa i got so fucking fixated on it that i was spending entire nights awake playing the game cause i just couldn't stay away from it which resulted in being too tired to understand what was going on sometimes and people like you who are insane about the franchise are the reason i can make sense of a lot of stuff that i wasnt able to get due to playing at 7 in the fucking morning after going to bed the night pror at 5am (i plan on re playing the games at a normal persons pace sometime later lmao)

OH MY GOD!!!!!!! KIND OF SAME? Okay. well not exactly the same. For Danganronpa 1 I watched GameGrumps play when the episodes were coming out so it was a good pace. Skip to Danganronpa 2? I watched it all in 5 days with barely any breaks. I genuinely had a headache when Chapter 6 happened and it took a really long time to process everything that happened in the chapter. Honestly same thing with v3 I also got a headache playing that game haha! But most prominently I barely understood the entire Izuru concept for a while LOLL!!! 3 years later I'm a lot better at articulation, understand it all perfectly, and am able to combine those to make mini essays as an outlet for my passion about the franchise. I totally relate and honestly I can't even remember how I got to the point of knowing everything so perfectly anymore, I just love it so much and am just here. Like people talk about the comical fact of once you enter you can never leave, but people don't mention when it's so bad you can't remember how you truly got to this point 😭!!!

And the funniest thing is I haven't actually fully rewatched Danganronpa 2 or Danganronpa 1 before. I've always seen little scenes again and analyzed things to death but i haven't fully seen them again. Danganronpa 1 I think my memory is slightly fading so I should rewatch/replay it but I remember all major events and characters, Danganronpa 2 I want to play myself and mostly remember everything because well duh, and Danganronpa v3 I actually got to play and replayed half of it when I was sick at some point because I just felt like it Lol. I've wanted to actually play Danganronpa 2 myself for like 3 years but haven't gotten around to getting it BUT A MUTUAL GIFTED IT TO ME ON STEAM FOR MY BIRTHDAY JUST A FEW DAYS AGO????????????? SO I'M GOING TO GET TO PLAY IT MYSELF AFTER SO LONG??????? (I'm trying to get my Splatoon 3 catalog finished before I start playing though haha) I am genuinely so excited about it you have NO CLUE AGHRHRHDHSJ

Anyways, personal rambles and relating aside I'm really happy I can help you understand things about the franchise! I know I certainly wished and sometimes even now wish people could just articulate things for me when I'm struggling so I can understand things better about media I like Lol. It's an honor to assist people understanding one of my main special interests :)