#once again getting distracted

[arcanegifs]

ARCANE LEAGUE OF LEGENDS: 2x09 - “The Dirt Under Your Nails.”

[choccy-milky]

seb and clora working on baby #1 👶 🔞🔞!! NSFW !!🔞🔞

[poipiku]

[twitter]

[radpool]

I can't remember all the times I tried to tell myself

to hold on to these moments as they pass

- counting crows, a long december

detail below the cut (and wolverine angsty musings in the tags lol)

[ducktracy]

Daffy comic panels i relate to with a profound spiritual deepness and could even be described as, on some level, autobiographical

[galahadenough]

Y’know those characters whose issues and neuroses compliment each other and lead to a better functioning set of characters than either would be alone?

That is NOT svsss.

Luo Binghe and Shen Qingqiu’s issues and neuroses are complimentary in the way that they constantly trigger each other. I fully believe that if either of them did something new the other would latch onto the rafters like a frightened cat.

But inexplicably they seem to be into that.

[aheathen-conceivably]

Siri, play something for when you inherit your estranged family’s crumbling and most certainly haunted Romanian castle... 🎶

[cementcornfield]

You should post your thoughts on Ja’Marr and Kyle!! I’m so interested in their dynamic if that makes sense 😅

lmao anon i love you thank you because i was literally just typing a post up by itself. but now i get the benefit of looking like i'm not the ONLY person to care about this. (there's at least two of us!!)

ok so! too much rambling about things that i could no way actually know anything about irl BUT 

kyle and ja’marr being together in paris is VERY interesting to me. their whole relationship is really because like. okay. i have joked that kyle and ja’marr are there to pick out joe’s wardrobe for next year together lmao but like!!! the clothes saga is SUCH a thing with ja’marr. the man has a Complex about joe and fashion and his part in it. we know this. i hardly need to go over the clothes saga with y’all again. but i will because it’s fun for me. ja’marr claims in GQ that he buys clothes for joe all the time and drops them off at 'the house’ for him. which is insane enough if that’s true. then a few days after that article drops (and also joe’s appendix explodes) he says nah never mind i was lying! (“kinda”). and that’s insane too. but whatever, we let it go, there’s football to play. then that offseason tee decides to cause some chaos i guess and confirms that actually ja’marr HAS bought joe clothes ‘multiple times’ so that’s. something!!! (along with TB in that one pivot podcast with all three of them teasing ja’marr about it!!) and then SOMEHOW none of this gets brought up again until a few months ago when ja’marr is just like “yeah actually i’ve been buying him clothes since last year” which is still a year later than he first said he bought him clothes 🤔

ALL OF WHICH TO SAY that ja’marr is fucking weird about this. he may or may not buy joe clothes (i’m still leaning yes on this), and he may or may not want people to know about it. i think he realizes just how intimate of a thing that is, to repeatedly buy someone you care about clothes that you think he would like, that you’d like to see him in. and i think if we go back to my Vision of insecure at times ja’marr, it’s one way to explain his back and forth on this.

but then!! insert kyle, who i believe only became joe’s stylist within the last year. before that i don’t think joe ever really had anyone Official to help him out with specific outfits/styles/branding etc (i’m sure the joe girlies will correct me if i'm wrong on this). and now i can only imagine that ja’marr might be feeling a little…possessive of joe here (what else is new lol ‘that’s my qb not their qb’ type shit). like if we believe he’s been buying him clothes since at least 2021, that’s like…that’s ja’marr’s Thing at this point?? even if it only started happening in 2023, that’s still a long time of "oh hey i saw this and thought of you and will you wear it and when you wear it will i feel a little thrill knowing that you took my advice knowing that you value my opinion knowing that the clothes touching your skin are only doing so because i bought them for you in the first place etc etc." and now here’s joe paying someone else to do it?? and who the fuck is kyle why him why does HE get to do it he didn’t even win a national championship with him in college???? (ja’marr obviously would be more rational than that. of course joe should pay someone to help him out with style as he does events and builds his brand more. but as a fellow Emotional Person myself, the rational response is never the first or strongest one.) 

so like! there’s that. that alone could make ja’marr not inclined to LOVE Kyle, ya know? and then if we want to get really Deep and dive into internalized homophobia of Male Athlete Culture. of my version (MY VERSION JUST MY VERSION THIS IS NOT ME SAYING ANYTHING IRL ABOUT HIM) of ja’marr and how he might cope with feelings and attractions that do not neatly fall in line with what is Expected of him and Has Been Expected of him since he was a kid. like fuck. do we remember how his dad said ja’marr used to like to read with his cousins (who were girls) but then his male friends came around and made fun of him for it, so he stopped reading altogether as a child?? thinking about that still makes my heart hurt! aughhh Gender!! and then even a few weeks ago on stream when ja’marr accidentally said that kyrie was sexy and IMMEDIATELY the chat and his friends jumped on him for it!! like yeah it was all lighthearted and all that but he got all embarrassed and even fucking apologized??? just the immediate policing of language/behavior followed by the immediate apology and moving on to no longer watching kyrie clips lol. crazy!!! Male Athlete Culture is SUCH a trip!! 

and kyle is gay! very much out and proud and not hiding or ashamed of any of it (fucking good for him tbh. i know he’s not Loved in this fandom but like that does genuinely take guts to be yourself like that in a culture like this. and make a career out of it! and he seems to be thriving!) and i just have to wonder like, how many queer people ja’marr really knows well?? the nfl has their corporate pride month bullshit where they celebrate the like 1 out gay assisant coach? 1 out gay FORMER player? if there are more queer people in the nfl, they are not very public about it. so again, how much daily interaction does a typical football player like ja’marr get with queer people?? i do imagine all the connections that are growing with the fashion world help of course! like kyle! who it’s clear he’s at least friendly with, if not the best of friends. and so like, i wonder about how that could stir complicated emotions in ja’marr if we go with my (AGAIN JUST MINE I’M NOT ACTUALLY SAYING ANYTHING IRL) version of him as a guy who has Feelings about male teammates sometimes and struggles with Dealing With That. 

and throw in the fact that ja’marr primarily knows him as this guy who’s always hanging around joe lol. taking over his role as joe’s personal stylist?? being free and open and ALLOWED to be attracted to all these guys, to joe himself!! (and if he thinks too hard about that he REALLY gets in his feelings). and it’s not jealousy really because he knows how important he himself is in joe’s life. kyle’s not replacing their history, he’s certainly not replacing his value to joe on the field, their close friendship, etc. but! he occupies a space in joe’s life that ja’marr can’t touch. he can publicly and proudly buy joe clothes. something that ja’marr WANTS but keeps shying away from. he can feel any feelings and any attraction he happens to have, he’s not hiding any part of who he is. if he thinks joe’s hot, if he thinks joe looks particularly attractive in an outfit he chose for him, he can! he will! he does! and i think that that just HAS to drive ja’marr a little fucking crazy.

so yeah. he likes the guy. they’re friendly. he’ll do a goofy lil dance when prompted by him for social media. but it’s Complicated. it’s Very Complicated. (to me.) 

[emergingghost]

this is the show where julien opened for touché amoré in 2015, and the origin of the "honesty transcends genre" encounter she had which she refers to often. it's a beautiful performance and you can also see jeremy bolm watching side stage in awe :)

[rustedleopard]

Still thinking about how Clover on the No Mercy Route likely would've given up their quest for vengeance and lived with Martlet had Axis not told them that he killed Integrity. The only real difference between Aborted No Mercy Run Clover and No Mercy Run Clover are a few more destroyed robots and the knowledge of what Axis did, which sent their LOVE skyrocketing to LV 19.

Look at them. They can't even look Ceroba in the eye after they inflict the final blow.

[submersero]

my personal delusion, that i'm not ready to let go yet, is that Armand was behind it all in order to get Louis all for himself (like in the book). Santiago is predicable, narcissistic, jealous, and greedy, very easy to manipulate. the rest would follow for obvious reasons.

[etahk]

SMILE!! 🌻

[thatscarletflycatcher]

I was probably going to mention this on that post I wrote about the social dance episodes of The Nanny and Frasier, but going to dance classes has given me so many interesting insights, and one of them is the lie --we may call it imprecision, if we want to be precise :P-- that in order to dance well you need to relax.

Because that's not really it. Even from the most basic technical standpoint, dancing depends hugely on things like balance and precision, which you cannot really produce if you are relaxed, really.

What they mean by relaxation is actually that you need to un-stiffen in order to acquire elasticity. And elasticity in action is a form of tension, just not the kind of tension where all the movement stems from you as a motor, and you have a vice grip on. This becomes even more complicated if it is a couples dance, because the tension involved in leading is different from the one involved in following.

In any case I've been thinking about this a lot in the context of my thesis writing. I've always been a very tight, concise academic writer. I'm very used by method to only start when I have a clear scheme in mind not only of the general structure of what I'm writing, but of each part too. That's my only way of reaching flow in writing --I'm writing one section but my mind is already in the next section and is bringing them both to a neat connection. This my advisor with great kindness and elegance calls the metaphysical drive, but tbh with all of you, it's just being a stiff, white knucked gripping writer. And that's just not a viable way of writing something of the length and complexity of even an honors thesis.

(Amusingly, I did write 8 pages of introduction back in December, which advisor called excellent ,in a matter of a few days, which probably gave him the absolutely wrong impression about my normal writing speed. Hence his comments about me sending him 6 more pages whenever I have them, no matter how unpolished. He probably thinks I spend a lot of time polishing before I send. No, siree, my brain just doesn't conceptualize the first draft. I WILL stare at the page for 5 minutes then write two lines. Repeat ad infinitum. Yes, I'm working 15-60 minutes a day on my thesis. That does NOT translate to the reasonable number of words you'd expect from that time.)

So what I'm really musing and grasping after is... what is the writing equivalent to the elastic tension of dancing? Because ultimately when people advice me to "enjoy the process" and to "loosen up", they don't mean that I'll achieve flow when I relax (though they might think that that's what they mean), but when I finally acquire elasticity. The problem is that, in dancing, you have a dance teacher that models the elastic tension of dancing for you, that can even physically demonstrate and show you with actual touch what it means. I don't think there's such a thing for writing, not in any sense that is comparable. I guess part of the process of thesis directing is creating the sort of feedback loop of writing that gives you a mind opposite the way dancing gives you a body opposite, but of course the process is much less intuitive. A thesis director can correct your style, can also give you pointers as to how to cross some rivers and fill some potholes, but they cannot really model for you the skill of writing as a process.

[shiresome]

EMOTIONAL SUPPORT PYRO!

Always ALWAYS take time out to bother my team's poor Sniper!!! Sniper mains have only ever been sweet to me but oh my goddd he looks SOO miserable. I LOVE IT. Thank you Sniper mains for playing Sniper voicelines for me it boosts my morale

[formulaonedirection]

Sometimes Quadrant is just about being goofy with your best friend

[gomzdrawfr]

obsessed with my new animated wallpaper heh

this is from Steam - wallpape engine, link here

[spaciebabie]

i try to get away from the sims 4 but shes like a toxic ex who i yearn to make love to one last time