#once again descriptions welcome!! i am fully at a loss for how to write them well | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

isolataed · 6 years

Text

A Sprinkle of Champagne// Wong Yukhei

Pairings: yukhei x reader / jaehyun x reader

Words: 9.7k

Genre: an unbearable amount of fluff, angst, richkid! au, barista! au, waiter! au, arranged marriage! au (too many au’s to count I’m srry idk when to stop sue me)

Warning!!: contains mature themes, underaged alcohol usage, explicit language (not for the light of heart, also if you listen closely you can almost hear me screaming in frustration with how long I’ve postponed this bc procrastination. btw it sorta gets cliché towards the end bc I’m just a whore for clichés srry not srry.)

Money flows to you in avalanches of abundance. Its been a coping mechanism throughout all your 18 years on this god forsaken planet. Whenever the slightest inconvenience occurs you find yourself reaching for your credit card faster than one can blink and you hurry to your favorite designer boutique to help quell your thirst for comfort. Many would pine for their friends’ presence in a time of need especially when you’re on the verge of having a mental breakdown, however, you were no ordinary person and had to cope in a various amount of ways which just so happened to include retail therapy. Sure, you could announce that you’re having a party on your million-dollar yacht and your so called ‘friends’ would come scurrying to you no matter their current destination. People had a knack for your money and wouldn’t second guess using you for it. You knew it. And so did they. But to be completely honest, it didn’t bother you that much since you had more pressing matters on your hands. Even though you would hate to admit it but, no matter how much money you had, there was still an emptiness that could never be filled. No new Jimmy Choo pumps, no Gucci belt, not even diamond earrings could help fill the emptiness that has chosen to take hostage deep within you. Again, as much as you’d hate to admit it, money can’t buy happiness, However, it most certainly can buy you a new Gucci wardrobe. And that’s what you were currently occupied with, browsing each clothing rack until your searching eyes settled upon a shimmering thigh high length dress with a plunging neckline and a just equally exposing back.

Hmm I’d say that’s skimpy enough for tonight’s event.

Your thoughts had a subconscious grin stretching onto your face since, well, you are your favorite comedian after all. Most would be appalled by your rather provocative fashion sense but you live by the motto if you got it, flaunt it. And throughout your stress-shopping you hadn’t noticed that you’d received a message from your fiancé, jaehyun. In the mess of things, your parents had decided it was due for you to continue the family inheritance, or company with an all too trusting fiancé accompanied by your side. His family goes way back with your parents and the closeness between each other is rather convenient for them. Despite there being a miniscule part of you wanting to pick your own partner and having it be decided in fates hands. You always were a dreamer when it came to fate. Nonetheless you were content with your current partner. After all, you two had grown close ever since high school with the both of you being labeled the ‘it’ couple. To be blunt, everyone knew you two and were happy enough to be rooting for the both of you. You enjoyed it. To be showered with fame and popularity since you were the girlfriend of a boyfriend’s family with a multi-million-dollar company. Your family wasn’t too shabby either with having collected millions throughout the years with their equally successful company. Once your family came to learn that you were dating, they were quick to force the whole arranged marriage propaganda upon the two of you. You were obliged to the engagement almost as if your parents set a lock on it, having the impending pressure hovering over both you and Jaehyun. Everything was rushed to say the least and went against your wishes of wanting to take your time and fully immerse yourself into the fulfilling relationship but nonetheless you were content with getting a head-start to your life. Many were jealous of your lifestyle and were quick to write you off as a spoiled brat which you could agree on some level. But then again you were the one living your life the fullest. That is until your eyes skimmed over the message from your fiancé that left a sorrow expression imprinted on your features.

We need to talk. Meet me at your driveway I’ll be there in 10.

8:48pm.

This ultimately surprised you since you were technically supposed to be getting ready for your engagement party tonight and not sending each other these questionable text messages. As the phone screen illuminated your troubled features you found yourself at loss for words. Your freshly painted fingernails were hovering over the keyboard unable to formulate any structured sentences since you were too busy overthinking everything. A sigh left your parted lips as you reminded yourself that you can’t be stressing over the smallest things since you did after all have a reputation to keep up. You began typing with your newfound confidence.

Alright but idk what you could possibly want to talk about since our engagement party is just in a couple hours??

8:50pm.

Hesitantly, you pressed send and locked your phone back up in your Louis Vuitton bag before you had the slightest inkling of regret based on what you just sent and went straight back to your mindless shopping.

Soon enough another chime erupted from your phone. It read.

I know, but please come it’s urgent.

8:51pm.

Jaehyun has never been this insistent with you over text and you found yourself beginning to worry as seconds turned into long fretful minutes and soon enough your brain was a jumbled mess. What could be on his mind for him to be reacting in such way?

You thought no longer and before you could register what was happening you were already out the door with your newly purchased clothing items.

The drive back to your estate was stressful but you tried to keep our nerves at bay before they had the chance to swallow you whole. The party was starting in just a couple hours that were surly to fly by with the amount of time needed for you to get ready and change into the suitable persona amongst your whole family and friends. Although you weren’t sure whether to call them friends or not. Acquaintances that are just in it for your money seems like a better description. As you around the corner to your gates that swing open once the security see you in view, you can’t help the incriminating thoughts that swell up into the confinements of your brain, especially, once Jaehyun comes into your sight.

He sat patiently against the never-ending steps up to your mansion. He seemed to be dressed rather casually despite him being informed of the engagement party and there was a tiny inkling of something beginning to stir deep within you. You perhaps were vexed of this sudden circumstance. There also seemed to be a somber expression etched onto his face as if Michelangelo himself had carved it into his features. You sauntered with your false confidence against the stone path. Uncertainty filled your senses but being the suborn person you are, you ignored it. In a time like this you find yourself absentmindedly staring at the man before you. The suns saffron rays dancing upon his golden skin. He harbored such beauty that put the sun to shame. It was almost enough to distract you from the pensive mood that has clung to the air around you like a blanket. Your unknowing eyes traveled up to his own as you lent in to give him a quick peck on the cheek as a welcoming kiss. However, he withdrew himself almost immediately which left you awestruck. He’d normally never deny you a harmless peck on the cheek and the fact that he did had your stomach swirling uncomfortably. Pain was quick to flash onto your features, although you gathered yourself and a questionable look took its place.

“What’s wrong?”

Your question was simple yet harmless but arose a harrowing look deep within his eyes. If you knew any better, he was certainly troubled. He seemed to ponder about what he was going to say before meeting your inquisitive eyes. He mused, “we need to talk.” You were quick to retaliate, “well isn’t that what we’re doing right now?” He had a lingering look buried deep within his mesmerizing eyes. Almost as if he was contemplating on what to say. Or rather how to say it. He ignored your previous question as he continued with hesitation evident in his voice, “I know that this is probably the worst time to be telling you this. I also know that I should’ve told you this months ago, but I never had the guts to finally admit it. And I hate that I am admitting to it. It’s just that these thoughts have been bothering me for quite some time now and I think it is best if I were to tell you now before anything more substantial happens in this relationship.”

You already knew where this was heading but again you also didn’t want to admit it to yourself. You wanted to spare your feelings until he ultimately crushed them. And so you let him.

“I’m sorry y/n but I think it would be best if we called off the engagement and the marriage along with it.”

It started with a heavy feeling deep within the captivity of your chest. Spreading like branches all throughout your body. It felt like there was a ton of bricks being weighed down on you. suffocating you to no return. And all you could do was sit there as it happened right before your eyes. Just waiting for the storm to pass. Except it didn’t. you never saw it coming. But then again you never see heartbreak coming.

At least not this time.

You fooled yourself if you thought Jaehyun was giving his undivided effort into the relationship. There was always a small part of you that turned a blind eye to it but every time he watched you, you could tell only emotionless eyes came to greet you whenever you gazed into his deep umber ones. No effort to call you whenever he went on long business trips with his family across the ocean. No longing for you and only you.

No love.

Thus, amid trying to spare your feelings and instead coming clean, you were the one at fault who did this to yourself. Not him.

Maybe you were a bit too harsh on yourself, but you had every right to be. If you’re not honest with yourself now, then when will you be?

You hadn’t noticed you’d began crying once you felt the first sprinkle of tears trailing down your rosy cheeks. “When did it happen?” you spoke softly, trying your best to not make it evident that your voice had began to get choked up. His solemn eyes met your own teary-eyed ones and widened substantially once he noticed you’d began crying. His hand quickly ushered up to your cheeks to wipe away the salty tears. It was warm against your cheeks, no thanks to the chilly brutal wind whipping at your figure. It comforted you to say the least.

An expression you hadn’t seen in a while flashed across his face, pity. He couldn’t fathom how much of an effect he had on you. He felt like he had your ever-so delicate heart in his hands and he hated that he had that power over you. Since you were not one to easily give that up and fall into the vulnerability that came along with it. But again, you thought he was different and didn’t have a care in the world of the consequences.

“When did what happen?”

“When did you fall out of love?”

The question left him awestricken. He pondered momentarily before speaking, “I can’t pin point an actual date but even if I could I don’t think I could bare the thought of knowing I broke your heart like that. So, I don’t think it would be advisable for me to- “

“No.”

“Tell me, it’s the least you could do especially when confronting me hours before our engagement party.”

The sudden disdain in your voice had him recoiling. “Y/n all I can say is that it wasn’t sudden. It happened gradually. No matter how hard I tried to keep it from happening, it did. And I can’t even begin to say how sorry I am but- “

“I loved you.” You croaked, now gazing up at him with sorrow filled eyes and staring into the eyes you fell in love with, them feeling like an endless void. Tears dribbling down the arc of your cupid’s bow and onto the plush of your lips, tasting the salty bitterness.

You thought that this was more than just an arranged marriage. You thought the both of you actually had a connection that couldn’t be found any elsewhere. But, you’ve been deceived.

His hands reached down to grab your own as he cradled them as if they were made of porcelain and would shatter in the slightest movement. The pad of his finger flittered over your palm as tears silently rolled down the curves of your cheeks and into your intertwined hands. He apologetically gazed into your eyes once more, “I’m sorry.”

He takes a step back from you, lets your hand fall limply to your side in the process. He shakes his head, an unreadable expression twisted onto his face as he desperately attempts to hold himself together.

“I’m so sorry.”

And with that his presence soon vanishes into the cool airiness of the wind. Leaving you in a stoic mess as you drop to your knees unable to withstand your own weight anymore with what you just endured. You can’t formulate any coherent thought or to try and even make sense of what just happened.

You’d eventually decided to keep the party going and up to schedule since it was too late to cancel and inform the hundred-something number of guests which was a headache on its own. You were solicitous in the fact that you’ll have to endure even more embarrassment having this been an engagement party and those usually consist of two people. Not one that is a sobbing mess over the counter of your own personal bar. Everyone was eyeing you pitifully and a part of you wanted to lash out at them, but you know that you can’t blame them since, well, you were a complete and utter mess.

There was no use in denying it. You knew it. They knew it. Everyone did.

It was an embarrassment of its own having all you friends and family seeing you in a state like this which was not as presentable as you hoped for. Slightly because of the mascara staining the pallor of your cheeks and giving you the illusion of a racoon. And the tiniest noticeable trail of snot laying atop your cupids bow. You didn’t even have the energy to wipe it away. Nor were you sober enough to even take notice of it. Although you weren’t has hammered as you wished to be. That was your goal for tonight at least, to hopefully drown yourself in alcohol rather than sorrow and despair. Normally you’d never show this side of yourself fearing that your family’s business partners would think low of you, but frankly, at this point you didn’t give a single fuck. You’d think that the people gathered at your party would have a brain and heart big enough to show some empathy and understand what you’re going through, but your naïve self knew that in the world that you live in, that is nothing but a fairytale.

Nothing in this world could get worse for you at this point. Considering the fact that you’re lazily sitting against the counter of the bar on your own private yacht. It was a prodigious boat indeed with multiple bars if not just one didn’t titillate your fancy, a dining room and lounge area which was where most of the guests were occupying the area. However, you’d found was a difficulty trying to decipher the faces from ones you do and don’t know. String lights casted the whole boat with warmth despite it being a rather chilling night. And the overly exposing Gucci dress you picked was not doing a decent job of keeping your warmth. You and Jaehyun had planned for a weekend trip in Barbados on your yacht, so that’s where you and the other guests were situated. It almost felt like you were away from the problems that have been bestowed upon you while in the middle of the ocean. Almost. And the beautiful sight to see definitely helped to keep your mind at ease. Your gaze was keen on the coast that lit up and shimmered like strings of gold chains in the distance against the turquoise water that ebbs and laps onto the shoreline.

Surprisingly, the tears have subsided. For now, at least because you know once you’re out of sight you’re sure enough you’ll become a bawling mess. Currently, you just sip your third shrimp cocktail of the night with an emotionless expression imprinted on your face. Despite having it been your third drink, you can still feel the helplessness lingering. So you knew you needed something stronger. It was hilarious how everyone ignored you knowing that the second they bring up the failed engagement, you’d begin crying for the hundredth time that night. And just the acknowledgement of the guest’s behavior, it had you shaking your head in astonishment. Although a few people did apologize from the sad news which to say the least didn’t help at all. Mostly because they weren’t genuine. No one ever was. And you were used to it.

“Dang, whose dog died?”

You almost choke on your drink once you hear what comes out this aloof stranger’s mouth. As you whirl around to face them, your gaze meets the dark lustrous enticing eyes of a man no older than you. You notice how a few strands of honey colored hair sat against the bridge of his nose. And you found yourself resisting the urge to whisk them away. Even with the sun having set far beneath the horizon you are still able to decipher his glowing sun-kissed skin in the dimmest of light as if it were saturated with the sun’s rays. It was as if there was an iridescent glow that emanated within him. Or maybe that was your slightly buzzed mind playing tricks on you. And by the look of the uniform he is wearing and the tray of champagne he is carrying, it is clearly understood that he is in fact a waiter. Your eyes trailed down his vest to find that he had his name clipped onto the cloth. Yukhei. The soft buzz of the alcohol was surely taking its affect on you by the way you’re eyeing the stranger right before you. And he surely noticed it as well.

“Excuse me?”

Your question had a smirk gravitating on his plump lips. “I’m sorry but I couldn’t help but notice your somber mood let alone on this whole boat.”

You’d have fooled yourself if you thought you saw sympathy flash across his features but was gone as soon as it came. You eyed him carefully, “no need to be sorry or try to comfort me. Besides, shouldn’t you be doing your job? That’s what we’re paying you for anyway.”

He tries his best to keep his facial expressions neutral, but you read him like an open book as a faint look of hurt washes over his face. “You know I could, but why would I when you’re so obviously distressed?” he quips sarcastically.

You sniffle, “am not.”

A snicker leaves his lips and flows into the brisk airiness of the ocean night as it leaves you entranced as if it were a sirens song. It’s so mellifluous to the ears that it even has the birds jealous. You surely wouldn’t mind hearing that every morning you tell your already buzzed self.

His fervid gaze dug so far deep into your skin to where it had you frozen as if you were a marbled statue. Almost like he was the male medusa. Although far more attractive.

You cursed at your half-drunk self for making it obvious that you clearly are liking what you’re seeing. And all he could do was watch you with slight fascination in his piercing chocolate-brown eyes.

“Is this seat taken?” he gestured towards the seat next to you. His all too smooth melodic voice sent shivers all throughout your body that elicited visible goose-bumps on your skin. Or maybe you were just cold, who knows. A slight smirk crept onto his features as you motioned for him to sit and that the seat was in fact unoccupied.

A short time seemed to pass until he interrupted the comfortable silence, “so, I heard of the unfortunate news.”

Just of the mention of it had you mumbling I’m not drunk enough for this, although luckily it was too incoherent for him to decipher what you exactly said.

You ignored his previous statement and eyed his tray of champagne instead, “you know what, I’m getting sick of shrimp cocktail.” Taking your unvoiced hint, he handed you the crystalline glass which you gladly pinched the delicate stem of the champagne flute between your manicured fingers. You lifted the glass up to your red lips and took a short swig of the sparkling Armand de Brignac. The overly expensive golden liquid tingled as it slid all the way down your throat and you gulped along with a satisfying ah leaving your lips.

As you looked in his direction, amusement was written all over his handsome features. It was another glass and a half and an even more so hammered self until he speaks once again, “so princess, care to tell me what’s on your mind?” your eyes widened at his nickname he’s seemingly given you despite the two of you just having met. “First of all, Yukhei, I don’t know you well enough to spew my feelings at you which I’m sure the second you leave you’ll go bad-mouthing me.” It was obvious you had trust issues but that was the least of your concern as you turned back to look at his expression which had dropped after your remark. “I don’t know where you got that information from but if you hadn’t noticed yet, I’m a server, and even if I did go ‘bad-mouthing’ you, who was going to believe me, or let alone pay attention?” his counter argument had you realizing that he did in fact have a point even if it was blunt. But it was the hard reality you lived in.

You hummed in acknowledgement, twirling the dainty crystalline stem of your already empty champagne glass between your fingers as your groggy eyes dropped to the golden bubbly liquid in his hands, “well then, if you are a server why don’t you shut up and give me another glass of that champagne?” you retort.

Another jaw-dropping smile graced his lips as he happily handed you a much-needed extra glass of the liquid for what you were about to do. “You might want to grab some popcorn because this is going to be a long night,” you warned.

And so you spent the rest of your drunken night spilling your troubles onto this poor stranger which you didn’t have the light of day to even get to know. He was genuine, from what you could tell, listening intently and being the shoulder to cry on. And yes, as expected the water works decided to act up once again. However, it wasn’t only one sided and he also spoke up about his troubles, which you were sure you’d forget about once the morning came and you were sober again. Although after the night, you could say there was some jarring intimacy between the two of you that sparked something in you, but you just couldn’t pin point what exactly.

A few platitundinous weeks have passed since your last encounter with the unfairly handsome waiter and you hate to admit it but, you missed talking to someone about your feelings. You also missed the multitude of champagne glasses he showered you with that night. You appreciated how he comforted you with his reassuring words and alcohol. No matter how much people believed you were a cold-hearted bitch, you in fact had the opposite. A too delicate of a heart. You regretted becoming that vulnerable to Jaehyun. And now you’re paying the price. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t have thoughts about him. In fact a bit too much if you were honest, to where you wished you could drink your body weight once again and hopefully forget him. But sadly, the world is a cruel place and you had to mend your feelings through time. I guess I can’t buy myself out of this one huh.

Although your thoughts didn’t only focus on Jaehyun, but that friendly waiter that your parents hired ages ago. Believe it or not you’ve seen him on your yacht when your family would host important events cruising from person to person handing out whatever was on his tray at that specific time. And other times you’d see him bartending, handing the customers their alcoholic beverage with a welcoming smile plastered on his face. You took notice he always had a smile gracing his features, although his seemed different. In a crowd full of fake smiles, his was the single genuine one that stood out from all the others and had your eyes glued to him. He was a perfectly painted picture indeed. Touched by the hands of renaissance painters themselves. You could see why your parents hired him. It certainly had your parents’ future business partners and clients he encountered staying a bit longer each night. Which understandably, was good for your parent’s company that you were soon to inherit once found your ideal partner. Or moreover once another arranged marriage is set up and you no longer have a voice in the situation rather than marry him solely based off his price-tag. After the abrupt ending of your engagement, your parents were more than disappointed and were quick to put forth a few more matches that were up to their standards. Although after meeting with them you could confidently say they’re no Jaehyun. And just the thought of his name had you reaching for the nearest bottle of bourbon. At this rate you’d be spending your day in alcoholism interventions. You found that after the incident with Jaehyun, he left another void unfilled that he previously occupied. And you were on the hunt for the perfect victim to help aid with it.

After your many failed attempts at trying to go on dates you could say you completely gave up hope in trying to find a decent man. So once again, you found your calling which was the stool of your bar in your gargantuan mansion. Where the marbled halls felt like a never-ending maze, a labyrinth, if you will. Your manicured finger circled the rim of your glass of bourbon as it distracted you momentarily from the bountiful thoughts that swelled up in your brain. You noticed the current bartender left for who knows what reason but nevertheless you were ecstatic to be alone for more than two seconds. Or so you thought.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if you brought a sleeping bag with you every time you were at a bar given that’s where you spend most of your time,” The smooth voice purred. Your eyes lazily fluttered up to the tall figure standing across the bar. It was none other than Yukhei. You snorted, “I’m offended you’d ever imply me laying in a sleeping bag.” You swigged the rest of the bourbon in a mouthful and grimaced at the strong bitterness, regretting the action soon after. A slight smirk grew on his face, “with the way you’re downing your alcohol, your liver will soon be done for,” he motioned to your already tipsy self, at 6pm.

“Don’t be too hopeful,” you gibe sarcastically. And there it was again, that smile you’d grown accustomed to. You hadn’t noticed but a subconscious smile of your own spread on your lips once you saw his addicting grin. His dark eyes glimmered with jesting amusement as he viewed your figure, “I’m just saying, instead of downing your feelings with alcohol maybe you could talk about them.” There was a linger of hope evident in his voice. Throughout your time speaking with him, you noticed how intent he was on comforting you whether it be with his own reassuring words or alcohol. But either way you appreciated them both and couldn’t complain. Your mind wandered back to your last encounter and the words that were spilled between each other. You didn’t know whether to believe it or not, but a certain type of trust began to grow solely from that one interaction a few weeks ago. And you had a feeling more of those encounters would occur. His proposition was tempting and had you succumbing to it as you spoke, “what are you now, my therapist?” A light-hearted laugh fell from his lips, “if you want to call it that then sure, but I genuinely want to know what’s on that pretty little mind of yours.”

His small confession had a rosy blush dusting your cheeks as your eyes shot back down to the empty crystal cup. You stammer, “quite a confession given I haven’t ever spoke to you before our last encounter.” He reached for your empty glass and discarded it, instead placing a cup of water before you. “Well, I felt bad that nobody went to comfort you after, ya know, so I took it upon myself to spare a few minutes of my day,” he quickly added, “and I definitely didn’t regret any of it.” He didn’t have a mean bone in his body, moreover he was made of nothing but positivity, which we radiated. And you admired that especially when you seemingly didn’t have any. You blankly stared at the cup of water, “I don’t know if you noticed but, I’m here specifically in the hopes of getting tipsy to try and forget a few things,” you openly confessed. Now he definitely felt like your therapist. A concerned frown weighed down the corners of his mouth as his eyebrows furrowed, “care to share your thoughts?” A sigh left your lips as you ultimately agreed since you were so pliable to just a few words and shared the hardships of your wealthy life-style and all the failed dates you experimented with to see if you’d found a match at the sea of men that fell right before your feet. You adored how he would watch you intently without a faulter in his gaze. To say the least, he felt fond of you and your life stories that you were always open to share. Although not just with anybody, with him it was different. He stuck out like a sore thumb against the sea of stoic expressionless faces that their only thoughts were the number in their bank account. No humanity was ever around you and you felt it was necessary to leap at the chance when a man like Yukhei has blessed your tiresome life with it. Despite him being a waiter, the thought never bothered you, however, you knew that with a notorious family like your own, it would be difficult to ever let him touch you in front of your family’s presence. But you had to admit, the thought of the rebellious action had a smirk growing on your features. Nevertheless, you knew you couldn’t get ahead of yourself and pushed the image aside momentarily. A certain hopelessness began to gnaw at you and you loathed that feeling whenever it would occur. Which is why you always found yourself hurling your money on mundane things that were never essential in the first place. But that never stopped you. Even when you dropped out of college to pursue god knows what with the avalanches of cash that you always had to fall back on. There was always a safety net for you which you took advantage of greatly. Which was evident with the way you sauntered down the streets of Monte Carlo in nothing but a silk black dress, that complemented the dark atmosphere that encased you. As you gazed up at the night sky, you couldn’t help but feel akin to the moon as it diminishes against the ruthless power of the city lights. The air felt sticky given that you were only a few miles from the sea and had your hair reacting negatively to its effects. So you ducked into the nearest casino. The entrance was grandiose with marbled statues on either side of your figure and a water fountain in the center of all the chaos. You heard distant sounds of people winning jackpots of the many machines that filled the rows. As well as clinks of champagne glasses followed by a congratulatory cheers! You stood at the entrance, a statue yourself as you didn’t know where to head. It was almost as if God himself heard you in that very moment when your eyes unsuspectedly caught the glimpse of what seemed to be him and an apathetic expression was quick to appear on your features. What was he doing here? The thought crossed your mind as you blankly stared at him, in awe. Suddenly, “ma’am either join everyone else, or leave, you cannot block the exit.” It finally dawned on you for how long you had been gazing at him like a deer in headlights as the security guard spoke to you. You nodded in his direction and apologized as you abruptly made your way over to where you’d learned is your new home. The bar. You were the epitome of a mess and frankly you were aware of it. It was also best if you sat in order to spare yourself the discomfort of standing in your thin heeled leather Jimmy Choo pumps. It was also necessary of you to order a drink or two after witnessing the very man you fell in love with and had to bare the heartbreak of him ending it with you. You were tempted to barge up in front of him and all his little friends and give him a piece of your mind, however, that was never how a person like you held yourself. Instead you owned nothing but class and maybe a bit of sass. But you knew how the ordeal would end up, embarrassing yourself then shortly after breaking down behind the mini bar. Never again, you muttered to yourself. Hastily, you ordered a brimming glass of champagne since it was the perfect fit for the night given you weren’t looking to get completely and utterly hammered like you did all those nights ago in the comfort of you own yacht. During this short vacation trip to Monte Carlo you found yourself missing a certain someone despite you not wanting to form any sizable feelings towards him. And him being Yukhei. Just the thought of him had a smile stretching on your pink lips although it abruptly fell once you felt the presence of Jaehyun next to you. You watched from your peripheral as he ordered a little bit of alcoholic indulgence himself with his usual nimble grin. However his gaze soon met yours and you watched as it fell and his eyes with it too. Years of memories seemingly flashed before the both of you just from that simple gaze and for a moment, it felt like you were never separated, however, the daydream came to a halt once the first words were spilled by him, “what are you doing here?”

You scoffed in astonishment as your features contort to that of annoyance, “I could ask you the same thing,” you then chug the remanence of the liquid gold. You knew you were going to need it. An expression read as bewilderment was seen on his face, although soon diminishes, “I had a business trip I had to attend to, now what’s your excuse?” you simply smirked as you eyed his tall figure, “what’s the harm in a little self-indulgence with a trip nonother than to Monte Carlo?” you inquired. “You of all people should know the significance of this place.” At the mention of it, the memories seemed to play like a movie. From when you had met him gambling his life away at the casinos, to where you unknowingly joined him as well. His presence was reckless as long as he stayed in your life and you overall reveled in it. It led you to inquire that he simply enjoyed the rush of it despite him having handfuls of cash himself. The pensive mood that has taken hostage between the both of you evaporated as he sat down next to you and a miniscule grin tugged at his lips. Especially when he smelled his favorite perfume that you’d always wear when around him which was none other than the newest line of Dolce & Gabbana. But nowadays he didn’t get that luxury although the moment was nostalgic nonetheless. He also took notice of a new addition to your necklace collection as his eyes trailed down to your clavicle where a golden pendant lay atop your carefully exfoliated skin. “I see you’ve gotten a new necklace,” he gave you a knowing look. Your eyes glanced down, and your hand reached up to grasp it since you forgot what you’d worn on your night out, “oh yes of course,” you gasped, “they had silver, but I looked better in gold.” Your response had a small laugh leave his soft lips and with it brought memories of when you were so used to hearing his laugh, it was truly music to your ears. But times have changed, and you were quick to rid yourself of that thought knowing yourself all too well and how easily you can get attached. The rest of the night was spent basking in each other’s presences and catching up with one another as well as mundane business statistics all in the meanwhile sipping at your mimosas and champagne until you heard the faint buzzing in your ears and you knew it was time to head to the sweet serenity of your private yacht. All the while wishing it was Yukhei with whom you’d spent your eventful night with and not your sight for sore eyes ex.

You lounged against the posh seat of your armchair as you watched the plethora of guests before you chatter away until their wits end. Despite it being your own party you’re hosting, you forgot how utterly draining it could be having to keep a conversation going when it only consisted of the market and who was engaged with who. It bored you to the point it had you wanting to aim a gun at your head and end it right then and there. To be frank, half of these people you didn’t know on a personal basis. Not even your ‘friends’ which you already established were specifically there for your all-inclusive trips to Turks & Caicos and to all the galas you were invited to which permitted you to bring guests. Not to mention they got a free pass when you’d head to upscale restaurants where one entrée off the menu with a name that could only be perceived as gibberish, costed more than some people’s monthly salary. Normally you’d take pity on yourself for growing accustomed to these toxic ways which could only lead to the impending feeling of suffocation upon one’s self. To be completely honest it did poke at you uncomfortably, but true happiness was where your wallet was, accompanied by bathtubs of champagne while sipping at your mimosas in the comfort of your own yacht. Just as you sat up to adjust your miniskirt, you caught a glimpse of a honey stained head of hair and your eyes suddenly lit up as they connected with his own and a smile soon danced on his lips. It was wondrous the affect he had on you, but you wouldn’t question it since it only brought you happiness and that’s all that mattered. You hastily sauntered along the wooden deck through the crowds of people which lingered of expensive scents and made your way towards the boy who beamed a smile at you. The sound of your heels came to an abrupt halt once you stood before him and spoke, “how could I forget my favorite waiter was working for the night?” he contemplated in mock thought, “hmm I guess all those glasses of champagne have finally caught up to you,” he quipped. Your mouth agape as a guffaw leaves your lips and you playfully hit his arm, although the one that laid loosely at his side, not the arm that carried the tray of mimosas since that would’ve been a disaster waiting to happen. “To think I was warming up to you,” you say flabbergasted as you clutched your hands against your chest in false pain. He hummed in amusement, “nice to know I was getting somewhere then,” he eyed you with a certain glint in his enticing eyes. You scanned the tray of mimosas as you grabbed one for yourself and pinched the dainty stem of the glass, discarding the straw from your drink and pressing the rim to your painted lips, allowing the orange liquid to disappear down the column of your throat. You smirked, “champagne is overrated, mimosas are the new go-to.” His eyes widened at what just escaped your lips and a dumbfounded laugh left his lips as he hunched over slightly but shortly recomposed himself, “you do realize mimosas are one half champagne, right?” You couldn’t believe your own stupidity and internally laugh at yourself. You shrug it off, “yeah of course, I totally knew that,” you sigh into the glass as you bring it up to your lips once more. Thankfully the conversation cascaded into a different topic and soon enough the both of you were back into speaking freely and with ease. You learned he was quite an adventurous person since he loved bungee jumping off bridges and even-wait for it-eating raw crickets for fun, mainly when he goes camping with his friends. He fascinated you more than any other individual you have ever met, and that’s saying something. Not even Jaehyun could compare. You’ve had your fair share of greeting many people because of your parents’ occupancy since that’s what the company called for and Yukhei topped the list of most interesting people you’ve known. In the midst of your blissful conversation you felt a tap on your shoulder paired with yukhei’s expression crumbling, and a voice you’d known so well joined you over the ambience of the warm night, “fancy seeing you here, y/n.” You whirled around to meet the man who’s looks were devastatingly handsome. Jaehyun had appeared next to the both of you wearing his usual dark washed ripped jeans and jean jacket, paired with a navy-blue silk button down with just a pinch of his unmarred chest peeking through, enough to bless your eyes. He had an unknowing grin plastered over his face as it slightly irked you since he was interrupting an enjoyable conversation. You lifted a brow, “well Jaehyun, I am the hostess after all.” He nodded, already knowing that clearly but continued nonetheless, “heard you were, so I thought I might stop by to see you again,” he added. Again? The word echoed in Yukhei’s brain since it wasn’t brought to light that the two of you were ever in touch since the break-up. You mentally cursed and panicked at Jaehyun’s choice of words but a voice soon sounded. “Care to sit down with me?” he motioned towards the array of cushioned seats in the center of the large scaled deck. You grimaced at the thought of having to explain the whole situation to Yukhei later but when you faced him as if asking for permission to take your leave, he lightly nodded to you, acknowledging your leave and waving you off. His face crestfallen, and you could see the faint look of hurt flash in his eyes but left along with him as he attended the other guests. The both of you managed to find unoccupied seats and plopped down the second you reached them. You crossed your legs, to show whatever modesty you had left since you weren’t planning on flashing anybody due to the provocative miniskirt you had chosen to wear. You reveled in the warm air that emitted from the open sea and gazed up at the stars as they faltered beneath the powerful city lights. There was a slight breeze that whipped at your figure and had you shuttering slightly. Jaehyun immediately took notice of this, “are you cold? Here let me give you my jacket,” he got up to rid himself of the cloth, but you were quick to raise a hand, “no, no I’m fine don’t worry about me,” you denied. He raised a brow in question, “are you sure?” you nodded, “positive.” And with that, he sat back down to where the impending silence fell upon the two of you like a rainstorm. You wanted to voice your thoughts and ask why exactly of all the times, he’s here. Why is he suddenly appearing in your life again after you’ve managed to make some progress since the breakup? Why now? And so you had to ask. “Why are you here?” His eyes darted to you in an instant once he heard those words and gazed up at you through the few umber strands of hair that guarded his eyes, almost innocently. “What do you mean?” you scoffed, not believing this whole act he is trying to sell. “You know what, and I know you didn’t go to Harvard for nothing,” you pointed a weak accusatory finger at him. He inwardly sighed, bringing the crystalline glass of the mimosa up to his parched lips and sipping at the orange liquid. He haphazardly whisked the bothersome strands out of his eyes and swiftly brought his hand to lay atop the small of your thigh and gripped it with the lightest of pressure, “y/n, it is not a secret, quite honestly I’m perplexed you haven’t noticed yet.” It was at this moment it finally dawned on you which had your mouth open, agape. You finally acknowledged the way he eyed you the other night in the exorbitant casino, almost lustfully. Thankfully you were too drunk to have even noticed it because if you had, who knows what would’ve happened. But what irked you the most was that he had the audacity to confront you in a time like this where you had almost gotten over the heartbreaking split and moved onto a happier place which of course was in the presence of Yukhei. If he was looking for a fuck and chuck, then, he came to the wrong place. And you were more than happy to throw the remanence of your drink into the owner of the cocky grin of Jaehyun. And you did not regret your actions once you saw his expression contort into that of pure bewilderment as he stood up with a sudden gasp along with the rest of the guests within the proximity. You abruptly stood up as well and yelled at him with what you had wished to say all along, “how dare you come onto my boat and sweet-talk me into thinking I’d actually hook up with you. Let me enlighten you darling, you’re the one who ended our engagement, not me. I can’t even believe I ever loved a dick like you. So let me ask you this once more, why exactly are you still here? You know what, don’t answer that, instead why don’t you stick that in your mimosa and suck it.” The sudden appearance of Jaehyun had the doors opening to your past which you purposefully locked and tossed the key away but seeing him again made the door crack open just the slightest and you knew you’ve already done enough damage control in your life to go through the pain of it for the second time. So you made the right decision to cut all ties from him the second you both split. But it certainly didn’t feel like the right decision since you were hunched over the mini bar drinking your body weight in whatever alcohol you could get your shaky hands onto. This has occurred more times that you’d like but you wouldn’t refrain from chugging the cups contents in attempt for liquid comfort. And you were more than happy to have Yukhei by your side through it all. That was more than you could say Jaehyun would do. Yukhei was such a kind soul to you, only a few times would he complain when you’ve had one too many and would talk to you about it and somehow sober you up without you taking notice. Call you crazy, but you could tell there was something there, lingering between yearnful gazes and sly grins. There, between your close proximity with Yukhei’s broad chest as he softly spoke in your ear, “I think you’ve had one too many, love.” His warm breath hitting the crevice of your ear just right, had the hairs at the back of your neck instantly perk up. The way his ever-so-soft lips grazed your ear had your tipsy self-wanting more. More than you could ever hope for. More than you’d ever had in a long time. And so you swiveled around in your chair as you faced his intoxicating demeanor, hummed as you brought a lazy finger up to his chest and gently pressed against it, “since when are you the boss of me?” you teased. He rolled his eyes and scoffed, although, by the slight curl of his lip and the glimmer in his dark hazelnut eyes, you could tell he was amused. And just the sight of it had you subconsciously nibbling at your lip between your pearly whites. His eyes laid upon your figure once more with a certain glint in them that you couldn’t quite put your pretty little finger on, “since I saw you tripping over air to reach another glass of alcohol, and so I can confidently say, it’d be best to sober up a bit,” then he sauntered behind the counter and slid a cup of water in your direction. You stared at it, unamused. “The Yukhei I know would keep the shots coming, have you gone soft on me?” you gasped. A small mock-laugh left his lips, “me? Soft? Sorry to break it to you sweetheart but that’d never happen.” Despite knowing you all too well and wanting to shower you with the much-needed alcohol, there was a small voice in his head that told him otherwise. He saw the way a hopeful expression surged onto your features and found hilarity when he ultimately saw it drop the moment he spoke, “but I’m going to be your overbearing parent for the night and say maybe it’s time to turn in for the night.” You grumbled at his response and swigged the remanence of the vodka. You thought he’d take pity on you and be inclined to hand you a few more shots since the night you had was one that you’d wished you’d forget. You hated the way Jaehyun could effortlessly toy with your feelings. As if you were his own personal ragdoll. It had you drinking until your wits end which undeniably wasn’t a good choice since your liver was surly to give out if you kept at it. Maybe Yukhei had a point. Maybe he cared about you. And just the thought of it had a miniscule blush dusting your cheeks as you glared at the rim of your crystalline glass, all too drunk to process what’s happening or even remember.

The suns saffron rays spewed warmth onto your drowsy figure with each heave of breath you took. The sun was kind to you in a world of madness. And that’s all you could ask for in this very moment. Because the second your eyes fluttered open, you were hit with a massive hangover. You groaned into your pillow or what you thought was a pillow but turned out to be someone’s side. You withdrew quickly only to recognize the head of hair almost instantaneously. A soft smile grew on your lips but soon fell as you desperately attempted to recall last nights events. After him scolding you the night before, everything else morphed into a jumbled mess, a blur. Your troubled self soon took notice of the figure beside you beginning to stir ever so slightly until his own eyes awakened due to the powerful saffron rays spilling into the room with nothing to guard it since the yachts cabin always had the curtains drawn. He seemed to finally acknowledge where he was and jolted, now fully awake. He raked a veiny hand through his locks, obviously distressed, “sorry, I must’ve fallen asleep,” he stammers. Those words sort of cleared the air, but you had to ask with hesitation evident in your groggy voice, “so we didn’t…” Your eyes were meticulous as you eyed him. His own eyes widen substantially at the question you were hinting at. “No, no I just took you to your room since you were too hammered to walk on your own and then I guess I fell asleep too.” Although that was partially true, he didn’t want to admit the other part. The one where he gazed at your peacefully sleeping figure as he brushed the stray hairs away from your bare forehead. The one where he tenderly traced every contour and crevice of your unmarred face, to the cupids bow, bleeding into your perfectly sculpted nose as if mimicking the constellations that leave a map in the ebony skies, until he too fell asleep in the comfort of the moon’s soft light. This was the whole truth that had him hesitant to fully admit to it since he also had mixed emotions towards it. But he knew at heart why he did it. Although anybody would be able to tell he was completely and utterly smitten with you. He recalled last night’s events, mostly when Jaehyun appeared and he instantly noticed your smile that he ultimately was the cause of, fall at the sound of his dulcet voice. He’d be lying if he hadn’t the tiniest inkling of beguilement at your reaction. Knowing that you’d rather bask in his presence than Jaehyun’s. As for Jaehyun, Yukhei would be more than happy to knock his teeth down his throat with what he had you endure but sadly, that was not in his job requirements. However, he owed it to him because without Jaehyun, the both of you wouldn’t have bonded over him. Each second he spent with you always left a grin lingering on his features. And he knows a day won’t go by when it doesn’t. As for you, you were confident there was not a bone in your body that doesn’t feel strongly about him, and you don’t think you’re crazy to assume he thinks the same as you. You were too lucky enough to have him by your side through every disheartening moment that always had a boy on the receiving end of it. But ironically enough, this boy was the cure to your troubles. It was more than you could’ve hoped for in the world that you lived in. Despite how posh it was, you weren’t naïve to believe he aided to a certain feeling of hopelessness. And instead replaced it with fulfillment. Just from the couple months you’ve gotten to know Yukhei, it felt like you’d known him throughout all your life and never wanted this feeling to end abruptly. And you were afraid to know what it’d feel like without him by your side through it all, so it was now or never.

“How could I have ever been lucky enough to have you?” You murmured against his chest. Throughout this time the two of you simply basked in each other’s presence since that was what comforted both of you. It was convenient enough until you spoke. It was barely coherent, but he could easily decipher it and once he did, his own cheeks tinged a rosy shade and his eyes squinted as a cheeky smile arose. “Mind if you elaborate?” As you gazed up at him almost lovingly, it appeared as though he had gems forever embedded in his eyes and made you fall ever so deeper into his spell. But this time, you let it happen without a care in the world. “Why would I when you so clearly know you’re the antidote to all my problems? When you know I would spend my time nowhere else but in your arms? When in year’s time, I will always find myself running back to you?” If it were anymore possible that cheeky grin morphed into a toothy smile which you’d have grown oh-so accustomed to as he too gazed at you, “don’t tell me that the y/n is confessing to me?” he quipped. A soft chuckle fell so effortlessly from your lips, “yes, I suppose I am.” And at that confession he hastily connected his lips with your own as the both of you sighed into the kiss, relieved that the painful wait was finally over and relished the contact as if the both of you were deprived of it. The short-lived paradise came to an end and you found yourself in a dazed state as you gawk at the man before you. And you soon realize that whenever with him, there will be no need of spilling tears into your glasses of champagne anymore.

A sprinkle of champagne would suffice.

228 notes · View notes

sithhoplite · 8 years

Text

Consequences of Rebellion

Lakadimos had no idea how long she had been in this cell, time has blended into one long, horrific, soul crushing eternity to her. There was no way to tell if it was night or day, no way to measure the hours she had spent down here, all there was were the screams of the those being tortured and beaten. The harder she tried to block them out the louder they were. Thankfully she had not been beaten but after she was imprisoned there was no contact at all with anyone. Unable to even meditate due to the enchantments that muted the Force she was starting to break. The anger she had could only take her so far and she knew once the dam broke it wouldn’t take much to break her totally. Screams from down the hall started again, closing her eyes she tried to think of anything else other than the pleas for mercy. Getting up she started pacing her cell but that did nothing other than make it worse. A small part of her toyed with the idea of hitting her head on the wall to knock herself out or end the misery in her death. Sliding down the wall she pulled her cloak tightly around her body and tried not to give in to the despair that penetrated every part of her cell. When Darth Mortis came to release her the next morning he saw a very frightened and broken apprentice, it had taken less than three days.

Looking down on what had been three days earlier a defiant, angry, and arrogant apprentice he was not all that shocked that she had broke. He knew her defiance and anger could only carry her for so long. When Darth Adamas and Darth Otium sentenced her to spend time in the cells of the Citadel for her defiance as well as punishment for the massacre at Ral’ital, he knew the one day Adamas suggested wouldn’t be enough but more than the three Otium wanted would more than likely be too much. He could feel her teetering on the edge before he brought her down to here, she may have projected anger and defiance but there was also a huge feeling of guilt as well. Realizing how close to the edge she was already he figured that a three day sentence would be long enough to break her but not drive her insane.

“Stand up Lakadimos, your time is up down here. Lord Domisan will take you home so you can shower and eat. You are too be back at the Citadel at 0800 tomorrow, do you understand?”

“Yes Master I understand.” her voice barely above a whisper and her eyes never leaving the ground

Watching her walk out with Domisan, who was gentle with her, he knew now that she was broken it was time to put her back together. She was strong willed, powerful and could be a large asset to the Empire when guided in the right direction, her tenacity in winning the dueling championship showed she could do much more if she was focused. Silently annoyed at his best friend for getting himself killed and leaving her to him as his apprentice now, he needed to figure out how to properly focus her.

One Week Earlier

Lakadimos emerged from a shower after her time in the kolto tank had come to an end. She was in much better shape now than she had been when she was put into it a week ago. The Exemplar, the late Darth Gravus flagship was on its way to Dromund Kass. Lakadimos had been recalled to the Capitol by Darth Mortis and Darth Otium. While she wasn’t totally healed from the fractures in her head and the new implant in her ear she wasn’t teetering on the edge of death as she had been a week ago. Putting on a pair of shorts and t-shirt she ran a towel through her newly cropped short hair, punching in the frequency to the office of Darth Mortis she took a deep breath. The image of Lord Domisan, Darth Mortis second appeared.

“Good Afternoon Lord Domisan. I am checking in with Darth Mortis per his orders. May I speak to him?”

“Lord Lakadimos, I trust you are healed?” Domisan enquired

“I am not back to 100% but I am well on my way, thank you for asking.”

“That is good to hear, patching you through now.”

She smiled when his image disappeared, there was something about Domisan that caught Lak’s fancy and she always smiled when she saw him. Darth Mortis image appeared and he had a serious look on his face. She kneeled before the image.

“Stand up Lak.” he instructed her gruffly

“Thank you Lord, I am reporting in as you commanded.”

“Good. You look much better than the last time we spoke. How is your head?”

“Better, still the occasional shooting pain. Two out of three fractures have fully healed. I am looking forward to returning the capitol, although I am unsure of what is going to happen next.”

“Don’t be so eager to return, you will not get the welcome that you think. First thing is first, since the death of Darth Gravus has left you without a Master and I was his best friend, and we are both very annoyed at him for dying, I will become your new Master. You will work in my office beside Domisan. Taking you as an apprentice is the least I can do to honor my friend.”

“It is an honor to serve Master.”

“When you return to the Capitol, come directly to my office. Darth Adamas and Darth Otium wish to speak with you. You will be respectful young one. I will also tell you this now, you are going to be punished for ordering the massacre of Ral’ital. I have done what I could to mitigate the punishment but you will not come out unscathed.” He could see the anger in her face and confusion as well

“Punished? For What? I did nothing wrong, I did my duty to the Empire in the most difficult circumstances.” She snapped out

“I agree but Adamas, Atroxa and Otium feel otherwise. No matter the circumstances you found yourself in, the massacre has and will have larger repercussions. This can not be ignored.”

“Atroxa and Otium are aliens, of course they would side with the rebels. That village was rebel HQ, they were…”

“ENOUGH! Be. Silent.” Her mouth snapped shut and she looked down to the floor after his rebuke. She was going to be a handful when they met with the other Councillors he could already tell. He missed his friend dearly but was slightly irritated that he never clamped down on her temper and tongue. “If you act like this in the presence of other Councilors the punishment will be far worse. How far away are you from Dromund Kass?”

“ETA is less than 8 hours Master.”

“I suggest you find a way to defend the indefensible to Adamas and Otium. You have your orders, Mortis out.” his image disappeared from the holo.

Closing his eyes he let out a sigh. He knew she was headstrong and volatile but this was on another level. Even taking into account she was still processing what had happened on Leritor and the loss of Gravus which he suspected had sent her spiraling down even faster she could not just shoot off at the mouth. His friend may have tolerated it but he would not, then again Gravus has been out in the mid-rim and not in the Citadel thus he had a bit more leeway in how he dealt with her. He knew the meeting with Adamas was not going to go well already and thought that he should have her escorted to the cells below the Citadel when she arrived straight away.

Lakadimos sat down to write the after action report that she would deliver to Darth Adams about the uprising and quelling of the Leritor rebellion, putting on her glasses she closed her eyes and remembered everything she could. As she described the moment she knew Gravus was dead and how she deployed the troops around the city then planet wide the sickening feeling of loss turned in her gut. She kept writing in as much detail as possible, however she paused when it came to the order to raze Ral’ital to the ground. While she felt no guilt about ordering it she knew that is what was getting her into hot water. Mortis had said she better come up with a defenses for the indefensible but that was not going to happen. Recounting each detail about how the village served as the rebellion’s hq, everyone in the village knew it and supported it was her defense. She also pointed out that she ordered all inhabitants ages 10 and under removed from the village and not killed. Her description was clinical and honest of the massacre and she took full responsibility. If she was going to die for this then she would own her actions and not apologize for them no matter what. She knew some of the rebels who had managed to survive had nicknamed her “The Butcher of Leritor.” Her finger hovered over the send button for a second before she pressed it. One way or another her fate was to be sealed in the coming hours.

Dromund Kass

She looked at herself in the mirror, her armor was shined, her cape buckled into place and lightsaber on her hip. Taking a deep breath to steady herself, she walked to the waiting shuttle that would take her to the Citadel. Her demeanor on the outside was one of totally confidence bordering on arrogance, inside she was a nervous wreck, rounding the corner she headed straight for Darth Mortis office. Looking in she saw Domisan, her breath hitched and smile crossed her face. She wished she knew what it was that made her react this way to him every time she saw him. Even Gravus used to joke about how she was going to leave him for a younger man, namely Domisan. He saw her walking towards him.

“He is expecting you Lakadimos, go right in.”

As she walked into his office and closed the door behind her, she fell to one knee in deference to her new Master.

“Master.”

Instead of telling her to rise, Mortis walked over to her and examined her. He could clearly see the new auditory implant in her right ear and the scars from the three different fractures on the side of her head. She was lucky to be alive. Grabbing her by the back of her collar he yanked her up, the shocked look on her face said it all. She had no idea what she had done wrong or why he was angry with her.

“Follow me to Darth Adamas office and say nothing until spoken to.” his order clear as day to her, “Lord Domisan I will be in the office of Darth Adamas if you need anything.”

Lak followed Darth Mortis to what was once the office of Darth Marr. She was still confused as to why he was so angry and what she had done wrong. Walking into the office she saw three very angry Councilors staring at her. Her face hardened when seeing two of them were aliens and before she dropped to her knee as was custom she gave her head a little shake looking at them. She then knelt as was expected.

“Rise, butcher of Leritor.” Atroxa commanded

Mortis could see she was already getting defensive and wondered to himself how long it would be before she popped off at the mouth. He guess was less than 3 minutes.

“That is what they are calling you now correct?” asked Otium

“I wouldn’t know. I have been in transit to here the past 4 days and in a kolto tank for the past 6. If that is the case it is news to me. Is that what the traitors are calling me, or is it your name for me?” Her tone was bordering on insubordinate but her face was pure defiance

“I have read your after action report Lord Lakadimos and it was shall we say enlightening. I give you credit for owning the massacre, bold knowing how angry we were. That being said you caused more damage than you fixed. Ordering the massacre you showed you are not ready for a position of authority.” Adamas told her plainly

“I have nothing to apologize for. I did my duty as commanded by the Empire and put down the revolt. If they had not revolted they would still be alive. Take it up with them Dark Lord...oh wait they are all dead you can’t..” Lak snapped back

Well it took her less than two minutes to get snappy with a Council member, Mortis was impressed she didn’t waste time in playing nice.

“You call murdering innocents your duty? Do you understand the ramifications of this at all? This should have never happened in the first place. Perhaps you're late Master should have followed the Edict and not walked the fine line on it. You had a traitor in your midst and you didn’t even know it. If news of the massacre gets out the Republic will have a field day. You may have put down the rebellion but in every other aspect you failed.” Darth Adamas cooley pointed out to her

Lak’s temper snapped at hearing Adamas go after her late Master who was now unable to defend himself. Mortis saw it in her face and body language but before he could stop her she lost it.

“Do NOT speak ill of my late Master, he did his job just as I did mine. I did my duty, I kept Leritor in the Empire, they got what they deserved for rebelling. They should have been happy they were no longer collared but that wasn’t good enough. I will not apologize for what I did. No mercy or surrender to alien filth like that.” Lakadimos was seething and any self control she had was gone.

“Take her to the cells, let her sit there and cool off. You may be a Lord but you act like a spoiled child. You are fortunate I do not inform the Emperor about this. You can either go willingly or you can be force cuffed and dragged down there, your choice. Darth Mortis, if you would relive her of her lightsaber please.” Atroxa informed her, tone cold and menacing.

“Go ahead and tell our new Emperor. Other than my life I have nothing left to lose .” she spat back at Atroxa

“Give me your lightsaber Lakadimos, now.” his voice held no doubts as to her choice

As she handed her lightsaber to Mortis she turned back to the three councilors who stood there silently. “I did my duty and this is the thanks I get.” Mortis took her by her collar and drug her to the elevator

“Is it too much for you to act like a rational adult?”

“What?”

“Your outburst in the office. No matter, you will spend a few days in a cell to cool off. Your behavior is abhorrent and unbecoming a Sith Lord. I would demote you but seeing as you are the reigning dueling champion you are granted that title.” He walked her to an empty cell, one hand on her collar guiding her down the hall, and pushed her in, “When I return we will have a talk about your attitude young one.” He closed and locked the door. Turning to the guard, “She is not to be beaten or touched, leave her alone until I return.”

“Yes my Lord.”

She was beyond irate at this point, thrown in a cell for killing rebellious aliens. They assassinated a Dark Lord of the Sith yet she was the one in trouble. Sliding down the wall she tried to calm herself by a quick meditation session but something was wrong. She reached out to feel the Force but it was so incredibly faint and untouchable, reaching out again the Force seemed even further away. Suddenly she heard the yells of someone being beaten somewhere down the hall yet it sounded like they were in her very cell. Backing into a corner the realization that the stories of the horrors of these cells were true, and for the first time in over two weeks the anger that was burning inside her started to turn to fear.

Darth Mortis returned to his office sans one Sith Lord. Her lightsaber was clipped onto his belt as he entered his office. Domisan noticed that Lakadimos was nowhere to be found and wondered if she had finally gotten herself killed by a Council member. “Master, may I enquire as to the whereabouts of Lord Lakadimos?”

“She is spending time in a cell down below to cool off. I will release her in three days, that should give her enough time to cool off and hopefully act like an adult.”

“Went that well did it?”

“That would be an understatement. She was utterly unrepentant for the massacre, made sure everyone knew that, popped off at the mouth to all three Councilors and I had to all but drag her to her cell. She is going to be difficult to train if she doesn’t break soon. Gravus was my best friend and I will miss him but did he screw this up.”

“It is hard to believe that the same person who won the dueling title with a torn knee is the same person currently in “time out”.” Domisan stated

“Yes and no my friend. When Lak is focused she is deadly and does what is expected of her, the tournament is a perfect example. Unfocused and allowed to run rampant with no limits, that is when she gets into trouble. It’s keeping her focused while re-training her on her tact and how to hold her tongue. Alas we will see how she is in three days and where we need to go then. Here is her lightsaber, keep it in your desk until I decide to return it to her.”

“She let you disarm her?” Domisan asked slightly shocked

“You assume I gave her a choice. Not fighting me on that was probably the smartest choice she made all day.”

Day Two

Lak paced her cell like a caged animal. Unable to get more than what guessed was 15 minutes of sleep at a time was starting to take a toll, add her inability to meditate and center herself she was starting to get worried. The screams from whoever they were beating and torturing would not stop no matter what she did. Slumping to the ground the faces of her legion began entering her mind, those who she had ordered into battle and to their deaths. So many had died under her command she could swear her hands looked like they were covered in blood at times. The guilt she carried was quickly becoming a boulder ready to crush her under its weight. She could feel the tears stinging her eyes as she pushed the grief away. Her breath was becoming more ragged as the emotions she had been clamping down on rushed to the surface putting more and more pressure on the emotional damn she had built. Looking down on her hands again looked like they were dripping with blood and that was the one drop that broke the carefully constructed dam. Crumpling to the ground the tears came forth and for the first time in over two weeks, Lakadimos wept for those she had lost and most of all of the Master she would never see again. After a while she cried herself to sleep but that would only bring her temporary relief from the tricks the cells played on their inhabitants.

Day Three

The previous night, or day for all she knew was one of nightmares and no sleep. Mind tricks that were being played on her sapped her of what little strength she had. Totally and utterly exhausted she crawled into a corner, the glazed look in her eyes told the story of how she had finally broke. Seeing the faces of the dead, watching the building Gravus was in go up in flames, constantly feeling the bond they had being severed took its toll. She no longer had the will or strength to fight back and welcomed the sweet release of death. If Mortis had sent her down here to be broken, then he had succeed.

Getting up from his desk Mortis wondered what condition he was going to find his new apprentice in. Would she be the same defiant brat, totally broken or something in between. “Domisan, come with me to get Lakadimos out of her cell. She has served her time.”

“As you wish my Lord.”

They walked down the hall, boots making the only sound in the area currently. Unlocking the door Mortis saw her cowering in a corner, fear in her eyes. There was no doubt in his mind that she was broken, no traces of the defiant youngster he dragged down here remained. Domisan was shocked at seeing her in this condition. He was used to seeing her defiant, confident, cracking jokes and usually in a good mood. What could have happened to her down here that did this, he shuddered to think what mind games this place played on people.

“Domisan, take her back to her apartment. Make sure she gets something to eat and a shower.”

“Yes my Lord.”

Domisan escorted her back to the apartment she kept in the city and told her eat and shower then he left. She stood in the living room for a few seconds processing she was free of that place. After taking a long, hot shower she fixed a sandwich and sat down. Her mind was racing a million parsecs an hour trying to process everything that had happened in the past two weeks. The life she lead had been one of privilege, power, security and arrogance. Now she was a broken husk of herself not sure what was going to happen tomorrow. Slowly eating the sandwich despite her growling stomach she found the quiet comforting. Reaching for the force she at least found that she could feel it again. Upon finishing the sandwich she sat down and meditated to center herself. Setting her alarm she crawled into bed for a dreamless sleep.

Mortis closed his eyes for a second to think about the day. He wasn’t at all surprised to find the Citadel cells had broken Lakadimos, they always broke people no matter how powerful they were. She was the embodiment of “Peace is a lie, there is only passion,” her actions in almost every aspect of her life proved that. Her strength in the force was strong and she was loyal but had been given far too much leeway by Gravus when she needed less of it. Turning his thoughts to his late friend, how different it would be without him around. Over 30 years they had been there for one another and now he was no more. Many in the Republic thought Sith didn’t have use for friends or love but that was furthest from the truth. He would miss his friend immensely. Thinking about what to do with Lakadimos he was conflicted. She needed limits and structure yes but too much she would rebel, not enough and force knows what she would do next time. He needed to find a way to put her quizzical mind to work in the most harmless way possible while keeping her engaged and not bored. Smiling to himself he mused that she may have thought he didn’t notice the way she looked at Domisan but he had. It was obvious she had feelings for his second and that could be used to his advantage. Tapping some notes on a padd he headed out of the office and headed home.

#Lord Lakadimos #Darth Mortis #smarting off #Jail time #Lak done fucked up

1 note · View note

fitnetpro · 6 years

Text

Most people go about habit change backwards. Here’s how to flip it.

“I’m on a diet, I shouldn’t eat that cake.”

“I’m going to try to exercise more this year.”

“I’m trying to lose weight, so I can only have a little.”

If you have ever said anything like the above, you’re in good company. Weight loss is freaking hard. As my friend Adam once said to me: “Steve I hope all of this exercise stuff is worth it for you – do you KNOW how good cake is!?”

The challenge is often never in what we need to do: it’s getting ourselves to ACTUALLY do it.

We all know we should eat less and move more. We know we should eat more veggies. We know we should hit the gym more frequently.

And yet, the scale never seems to budge.

Or worse, we get a few weeks into a workout routine or diet, life gets busy, and we fall apart. We see some progress only to backslide and realize months later we’re no better off.

This is demoralizing as hell, and it seems like nobody can make weight loss stick.

Well, not everybody.

SOME people manage to build new habits they actually sustain. Some people can build a new habit and make it become part of their new routine.

What do they do differently?

They take two very specific steps, and they ask themselves one question every day.

If you struggle with making new habits stick, this article is going to give you a strategy to implement TODAY. Backed by science, written by a nerd, with LEGO photos.

Let’s get weird.

The 3 Layers of Habit Change

My friend James Clear, a behavioral change expert and author of the recently launched Atomic Habits, lives and breathes habit change more than anybody I know.

With his book launching this week, I asked if I could share his 3 layers of behavior change to help the Rebels of Nerd Fitness finally break through the muck and mire and build the habit of hitting the gym, or going for a run, or eating healthier:

THE 3 LAYERS OF BEHAVIOR CHANGE:

The 1st layer is changing your outcomes. This level is concerned with changing your results: losing weight, publishing a book, winning a championship. Most of the goals you set are associated with this level of change.

The 2nd layer is changing your process. This level is concerned with changing your habits and systems: implementing a new routine at the gym, decluttering your desk for better workflow, developing a meditation practice. Most of the habits you build are associated with this level.

The 3rd and deepest layer is changing your identity. This level is concerned with changing your beliefs: your worldview, your self-image, your judgments about yourself and others. Most of the beliefs, assumptions, and biases you hold are associated with this level.

To put it more simply:

Outcomes are about what you get (“I lost weight”).

Processes are about what you do (“I go to the gym regularly”).

Identity is about what you believe (“I am a healthy person that never misses a workout.”

Now, none of the above is rocket science. I think anyway – I have never done rocket science. It’s the same thing we all do every time we try to change a habit.

The reason your habits never stick?

You’re implementing these layers BACKWARDS! Crap.

Where People Get Habit Change Wrong

Most people don’t consider the innermost layer – identity change – when they set out to improve.

We just think, “I want to be skinny (outcome) so if I stick to this diet, then I’ll be skinny (process).”

We set goals and determine the actions we should take to achieve those goals without considering the beliefs that drive our actions:

I want to lose weight, so if I go to the gym more, the scale will go down.

I want to fit into this bathing suit, so if I follow this crazy restrictive diet, I’ll reach my goal.

I want to run a 5k, so I’m gonna start training every day until I run it.

In each scenario, the person never shifts the way they look at themselves, and they don’t realize that their old identity can sabotage their new plans for change.

Let’s talk about identity (the innermost circle) for a second.

When working for you, identity change can be a powerful force for self-improvement.

When working against you, though, identity change can be a curse:

“Once you have adopted an identity, it can be easy to let your allegiance to it impact your ability to change. Many people walk through life in a cognitive slumber, blindly following the norms attached to their identity.

When you have repeated a story to yourself for years (or decades), it is easy to slide into these mental grooves and accept them as a fact. In time, you begin to resist certain actions because “that’s not who I am.” There is internal pressure to maintain your self-image and behave in a way that is consistent with your beliefs.”

Whatever your identity is right now, you believe it because you have recurring proof:

If you identify as somebody with a slow metabolism – the high number on the scale reinforces that every day.

If you identify as somebody with no self control – the empty ice cream containers in your trash can reinforce that identity with each additional pint polished off.

If you identify as a victim of “too busy,” – then every day you are reminded of how busy you are and how you just don’t have time to take care of yourself.

It’s hard to change your habits if you never change the underlying beliefs that led to your past behavior.

You might have a new goal and a new plan, but you haven’t changed who you are.

This is the crucial step that everybody misses, and it’s something you can implement today.

Identity Based Habit Change: Middle Out For the Win!

True behavior change is identity change.

In other words, start with the inside circle and work your way outward. Here’s that graphic again:

You might start a habit because of motivation, but the only reason you’ll stick with one is that it becomes part of your identity:

“On any given day, you may struggle with your habits because you’re too busy or too tired or too overwhelmed or hundreds of other reasons. Over the long run, however, the real reason you fail to stick with habits is that your self-image gets in the way.

This is why you can’t get too attached to one version of your identity. Progress requires unlearning. Becoming the best version of yourself requires you to continuously edit your beliefs, and to upgrade and expand your identity.”

Anyone can convince themselves to visit the gym or eat healthy once or twice, but if you don’t shift the belief behind the behavior, then it is hard to stick with long-term changes.

In other words, improvements are only temporary until they become part of who you are:

The goal is not to run a marathon, the goal is to be a runner.

The goal is not to lose weight, the goal is to be a healthy self-confident person.

The goal is not to go to the gym, the goal is to be somebody that never misses a workout.

Can you see how this is VERY different than just “I’m gonna go on a diet to lose weight?” It’s MUCH deeper than that.

The person who incorporates exercise into their identity doesn’t have to convince themselves to train. Doing the right thing is easy. After all, when your behavior and your identity are fully aligned, you are no longer pursuing behavior change.

You are simply acting like the type of person you already believe yourself to be. This is the holy grail of permanent weight loss and health success.

Want to build a habit? Do these 2 Simple Steps.

If you’re going to build a new habit, it’s going to be a gradual evolution.

We change bit by bit, day by day, habit by habit. We are continually undergoing microevolutions of the self.

Each habit is like a suggestion:

“Hey, maybe this is who I am.” If you finish a book, then perhaps you ARE the type of person who likes reading. If you go to the gym, then perhaps you ARE the type of person who likes exercise.

And these are the two steps we’re going to hyper focus in on.

Decide the type of person you want to be.

Prove it to yourself with small wins.

STEP ONE: Decide who you want to be. This holds at any level— as an individual, as a team, as a community, as a nation. What do you want to stand for? What are your principles and values? Who do you wish to become?

We’ll get real nerdy on this step below.

STEP TWO: Once you have a handle on the type of person you want to be, take small steps to reinforce your desired identity. Each step, no matter how small, helps you start to realize that, maybe you CAN be a morning person. Or that you DON’T have a slow metabolism. Or that you ARE a runner!

Let’s dig deeper.

Rebel, What Is Your Profession?!

Depending on how long you’ve been reading Nerd Fitness, you might already be doing Step One.

For years now, Nerd Fitness has been turning life into a game. Depending on what you want your new identity to be, you pick the Class/Profession that lines up with this new identity.

You can even create a free character, and our uber-supportive Message Board community is segmented by these classes too. They’re also a big part of my book, Level Up Your Life.

Here are the 7 classes of Nerd Fitness. Pick the class that lines up with the way you WANT to train (longer descriptions here):

Warrior: strength training, powerlifting, olympic lifting, weights

Scout: running, swimming, biking, endurance

Adventurer: exploration, hiking, camping, climbing, travel excursions

Ranger: cross training, metabolic conditioning, jack of all trades

Assassin: parkour, gymnastics, bodyweight training, movement

Monk: martial arts

Druid: yoga, tai chi, meditation, nature

If you want to be a warrior, you ARE a Warrior. Inside. Right now. Welcome to the Warrior Guild!

If you want to run a marathon, congrats! You are a Scout. Inside. Right now. Welcome to the Scout’s Den!

If you want to lose weight and are considering joining a CrossFit gym, congrats! You’re a Ranger. Inside. Right now. Welcome to the Ranger Guild.

I don’t care if you are 400 pounds or 100 pounds and have never picked up a weight or ran a step in your life. Write out your alter-ego, the superhero version of yourself.

How do they train?

How do they eat?

What time do they go to bed?

The goal is not just weight loss – the goal is to build an identity that is aligned with the type of person you want to be.

Me personally? I am an Assassin in the Nerd Fitness Rebellion.

What is YOUR profession!?

Ask yourself this question all day, every day.

Congrats, you now have a new identity! It’s all unicorns and rainbows and effortless weight loss from here on out.

Kidding.

It’s still going to be hard work. There are no shortcuts. No temporary changes will create permanent results. Which means you need to change your perspective. It means you never get to be “done.” You don’t get to go on temporary diets.

Instead, you slowly shift your daily behavior, decision by decision.

And eventually, your outer evolution (lose weight, build muscle, physique change) is going to catch up to your new internal identity.

So now that you have created your new identity and picked your class, it’s time to start asking yourself the question whenever faced with a decision: “What would a Ranger/Monk/Scout do!?”

And then do that thing.

James had a friend who lost over 100 pounds by asking herself, “What would a healthy person do?”

All day long, she would use this question as a guide:

Would a healthy person walk or take a cab?

Would a healthy person order a burrito or a salad?

She figured if she acted like a healthy person long enough, eventually she would become that person. 100 pounds later, she was right.

So let’s look at our examples:

You don’t need to run a 5k to be a Scout. You decide you are a Scout today, and running for 5 seconds makes you a Scout. So what would a scout do? Skip their run? Or go for a run even though they only have 15 minutes?

You don’t need to have ever lifted a weight to be a Warrior. You can start acting like one now. Would a warrior sit on his butt and watch TV? Or would he be doing a beginner bodyweight workout?

You don’t need to be a gymnast NOW to be an Assassin. You just start acting like one. Would a healthy badass Assassin skip his handstand training today? Nope.

This stuff works. Ask yourself what a healthy/superhero/badass person would do. Just ASKING the question makes you more likely to change behavior.

As pointed out in the book Mindless Eating:

“We found we could get kids to choose the healthier food much more often if we simply asked what their favorite superhero or their favorite princess would do.

Even if they responded “french fries”, half the time they took the apple slices. It simply causes an interruption in their thinking that causes them to pause, hit the reset button inside their head and think again.”

In other words, asking “What would Batman do?” is a real thing, and it can fundamentally change the path of your journey.

Yup, even for adults. Whenever I think of skipping my workouts to play more videogames I always ask myself “What would Captain America do?”

More often than not, I end up in the gym. Because damnit, I am Captain America.

Make a small win today.

As the saying goes, “Big things have small beginnings.”

Do enough small things aligned with your new identity, and your outward appearance will start to reflect your new superhero identity.

Building better habits isn’t about littering your day with life hacks.

Your habits matter because they help you become the type of person you wish to be.

So I leave you with three questions:

What is your Profession!?

How would that person act today?

Can you get a small win today to reinforce that?

Here’s an example for each class to get you started:

Warrior: do a 15 minute bodyweight workout. Hit the free weights.

Scout: Go for a 5 minute run (or walk).

Adventurer: Go for a quick hike in your town.

Ranger: Sign up for a CrossFit class.

Assassin: Work on your handstands for 5 minutes.

Monk: Sign up for a martial arts class or follow along with a YouTube video.

Druid: Meditate for 5 minutes. Do a 10-minute Yoga routine.

What’s that? You want to build a certain physique? Start doing what those people do!

This is exactly what we preach and teach with our 1-on-1 Coaching Clients – we essentially ask them what they want to be when they grow up (lol), and then create specific programs and help guide their food choices to become that new version of themselves!

Here is my answer:

“I am an Assassin in the Nerd Fitness Rebellion. I don’t care that I have thin wrists and crappy genetics. I’m reinforcing this by hitting the gym as soon as I hit publish on this article to work on my rings work. Tonight I will eat grilled chicken, quinoa, and broccoli.”

Your turn: Leave a comment below!

-Steve

PS: James Clear’s book Atomic Habits served as the inspiration and outline for today’s article – if you’re interested at all in bettering yourself and improving your health, I would highly recommend checking it out!

**All photo credits can be found right here[1]**

Footnotes ( returns to text)

Photo: Responsibility, a king’s life, Danger Sign, Batdog, 25/52, grass, jumping, success

Most people go about habit change backwards. Here’s how to flip it. published first on http://fitnetpro.tumblr.com/

0 notes

lindafrancois · 6 years