#once again I am anything but concise

[ratstuckinamarble]

<3 <3 <3

right, third time's the charm- You are someone I am very glad to have 'met' in whatever way the internet lets us.

Not because you're the first person I've ever exchanged drawings with like they were notes passed along on a rainy day, making silly little stories out of woodpeckers and lego toadstoods and trick or treat wishes- Not because I have those drawings printed out, woodpecker and otter hanging on my wall, the halloween ones added to my old lebkuchen box of decorations to be tacked up next year with all the rest- Not because the memory of looking at your art had me picking up pen and paper with a lightness that hasn't been there since I was a kid-

I just love seeing you around on here.

Blocks of tags with rambles- little stories and asides to soak up like a sponge or a plant, reminding me of this or that thought I've had myself- your passion for things, the breath of relief I let out reading something you wrote that says something I can't trust myself with.

The rhythm of your thoughts makes mine very happy, is what I mean. And that you share them- tossing small paper planes of your life out into the world- honest silliness, maybe? It takes bravery and kindness to do it, I think. Even when something upsets you or makes you sad, I'm grateful to see it- these things you care about enough to be hurt by, and to talk about.

From you, I won't argue about how good of a person I am. I'm smiling at the thought that you would think that of me, and I'll makes myself send this little ask to try to tell you back-

thank you for being you.

If tumblr crashes tomorrow and I never hear about you again, I'll always be grateful it lasted this long. I'll remember the rat stuck in a marble, with a skull for it's emblem, hoping you got to do some pottery, snuggled your cat, and had a little hot chocolate, as a treat~

I- I'm at a loss for words...

And crying. Oh words collect yourself into a proper order-

People have said kind things about me before, and it's always brought me joy- but nothing like this. You've cut right into my soul, found things I didn't even know would get to me like this if I heard them.

I want to comment more but re-reading what you said is almost painful, because I was not prepared to take in such words today, or ever. It hurts in the same way as thinking about the beauty in life for too long. I don't know if you understand what I mean- but strong joy, getting overwhelmed with feelings that are good

It's like my little body can't handle it, experiencing things it was not made for. This feeling is bleeding out of me, and I can't even name it. It's not joy. It's... Something better. The knowledge that someone I care for deeply could be made happier thanks to me, my words, my ramblings, my silliness, my art, even the serious and vulnerable moments. Everything. It's like you saw my entire self and said yeah... there's nothing I'd leave out. Oh gosh I'm crying again.

I didn't know you did actually print those drawings out. I've been wondering. I'm so very glad. Bringing you some joy with them is all I wanted. And that someone could appreciate my art this much- especially you. It's like something out of a dream. I didn't know life had such luck in store for me. That I could make art come more easily to someone else again. And you know I love your art. Every time you post something I scramble to get that across, after all. Clunky and anything but concise.

Often I fear that I may be doing too much, coming on too strong, saying so much where others would keep it short. But I've had my years of silence born of paranoia, and I got sick of it. So sick. The reason I started blogging is exactly that, a form of self imposed exposure therapy, I suppose. Every time I'd be afraid to share something, I reminded myself- that's exactly why you should do it. Even if your heart is beating so fast it makes you lightheaded. Which happens rarely now, because this worked, somehow.

And I find myself thinking of a different string of time- where I didn't. Where I let the fear win. Where I never met you and some other lovely people, where all these exchanges we've had, the art and the words and photos of little rocks and tote bags and comics of them running away- never happened. These things that fuel me even when things seem dim. You light something up in me that was previously difficult to cling to- an occasional burst of this spark. Now it is like a little star that has snuggled its way deeply into my heart, refusing to leave.

The rhythm of your thoughts make mine very happy too. I never feel like I have to adjust my thinking with you, because I know you'll understand. Your mind is just as wonderfully strange. I know no one else who creates hand snails and runaway totebags and the most perfect crest imaginable. Making art for you is so fun, because I feel like whatever I choose to depict, you'll get it.

What I want most in life is to be a good person. To bring people joy. Knowing I succeeded is more than I could ever hope for. Am I making sense? Why are you so easy to let into my heart? Why does letting you influence my creations, my way of thinking, my way of loving the world feel so right?

You bring out the best in me.

And that you think sharing what I do takes bravery- well I suppose you're right. I never thought anyone would realise. Would understand. But that it takes kindness? I never thought of it that way. I didn't think anyone would look at what I say and think, "how kind of you, that you chose to share this". I never thought that would be possible. I've had people tell me how happy my tags made them, a few times. That's what fueled me. I thought, if some have said it, then more must have thought it. And I want to keep spreading that joy. What I'm trying to say is you've reassured me in things I didn't dare hope for.

And that even my occasional admission of pain could be seen as good. That you would see me as good.

You're the reason you know. The reason I talk so much on here. I didn't use to do that. I think about the moment that made me follow you, I remember it clearly. I think about all that led to knowing you at all.

Thank you for sharing. I will come back to this, whenever I need a reminder that, well. That I did something right.

I'm glad you won't argue what I said. You couldn't change my mind anyways, on you being a good person. I am so very grateful to have you in my life. I find it hard to tell what people think of me. Thank you for the reassurance, your own bravery, and your beautiful words. They're like poetry.

If Tumblr crashed tomorrow, and I never heard of you again, I would be heartbroken. Truly and fully. But I would be grateful, as I already am. For the time you were a part of my life.

But this shall not happen. We haven't reblogged those snails yet, as we promised, and even after that. I don't want to imagine.

I'll do pottery some day. I'm snuggling my cat as I type, and I'll make myself a hot chocolate, in my dancing skeleton mug. And every day, I'll keep being reminded of you, and how you're everywhere now. In every little thing I've shared, that you got excited about. You're a part of that clay hand now, my spooky dishware, my lego frog, my tote bags, my rocks, my memories. I take a moment to take in nature and I'm reminded of your description of the light falling through your window, the spot you left just to appreciate it. I see a sword, a snail, a drawing of a werewolf, and you're always there.

When you let people take up your time, you let them take permanent residence in your heart. And with you, I wouldn't have it any other way. Thank you for being here, for being you, and for bringing a peace to my soul I didn't know it needed.

Thank you.

[heart-of-the-morningstar]

Alr hear me out, the service top lucifer with a very insecure reading. (Fem or GN) like he has to coax the reader to like open up (God damn I'm blushing thinking abt it-). Maybe even having to like talk them into even taking thier clothes off. Just a little idea stuck in my head.

Thank you very muchly.

Ooooooohh you’re giving me IDEAS (tbh I’d be the same boat)

~~~~

✨Opening Up✨

Lucifer x f!reader

Warnings: 18+, smut, nipple play, pet names, oral (m & f receiving), p in v, service top!Lucifer

It has become evident that I am unable to write anything concise 😅

I’M SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG I MEANT TO POST THIS DAYS AGO 😭😭

Tag list: @trashbin-nie

@yellowsubiesdance

@j-jinxee

@stevensdickrider

@airwolf92

@mrssabinecallas

@myhornybrainonlyknowsthis

@bee-sinner

@thesoccerenthusiast

@katshyperfixations

@logybearsblog

@bigfatbimbo

You sat upright on Lucifer’s king sized bed, the King of Hell straddling your lap. You don't know how you even ended up in this position, not on this bed necessarily, but how you ended up as Lucifer's beloved. You believed in your heart that you did not deserve him, but time and time again Lucifer has showered you with praise and adoration like no one ever had before. He was perfect. And you were...you. It didn't make sense.

Regardless, that didn't stop him from holding your face tenderly in his hands while he kissed you with a fiery passion. You were self conscious about being so vocal around him during intimacy, but he made it his mission to elicit as many moans and whines from you as possible. Slowly, he reached down to the hem of your sleep shirt, grabbing a fistful of fabric. Your eyes popped open, your mind racing. You pulled away from his lips and went to grab his wrist that held your clothing.

"I-I'm sorry, love," he apologized, releasing your shirt immediately. You sighed and let go of the grip you had on his hand. "I didn't mean to scare you, I should have asked. Please forgive me."

"No, no," you breathed, "it's alright. I'm not upset, I just panicked. I'm sorry."

Lucifer pressed his lips to your forehead and planted a small kiss. "Please don't ever think you need to apologize to me for how you feel, sweetheart."

"O-Ok," you stuttered.

"Do you want to stop?," Lucifer asked. You could hear the genuine concern in his voice. Hard as it was to believe, he cared about you more than anything.

You shook your head. "No."

"You're sure?," Lucifer questioned further, "because if you're uncomfortable, we can-"

You cut him of mid-sentence with a quick peck to his lips. He smiled bashfully, a cute blush spreading across his face. "Believe me, Luci, I want this. I mean I really want this, but..." you found it difficult to articulate what you wanted to say.

"Well, if that's the case darling, what if I go first then?," Lucifer proposed. You cocked your head, unsure of what he was talking about. He reached up and began to unbutton his shirt, starting from the top and working his way down. Oh...OH.

Your face instantly feels hotter and your breathing becomes staggered. You tried to say something, but the words caught in your throat. Your mouth had never felt drier. He finally reached the last button of his shirt and you finally see some of his chest. You could almost feel your brain short circuiting.

"Do you wanna do the honors, my dear?," he asked playfully. You gulped as your hands reached towards his shoulders. Gingerly, you slid his sleeves down each arm, slowly revealing more and more skin to you. Once his shirt was completely removed, you couldn’t help but stare. His chest was so smooth and toned, almost like it had been sculpted. “Like what you see?” Lucifer questioned coyly, noticing your unwavering expression of awe.

"W-Well that's hardly fair," you whispered, finally finding your voice, "you're an actual angel. Of course you're going to be gorgeous, I-" you slapped your hand over your mouth once you realized what you had said. "Please pretend you didn't hear that!," you begged through your hand.

Lucifer's face was flushed pink, he could help but smile. He chuckled as he went to remove your hand from your face. "Is that what you really think about me, sweetheart? I'm truly flattered to hear that coming from someone as exquisite as you."

"You...You really think..." you started to say but couldn't finish. Tears began to well up in your eyes, you tried to rub them away before Lucifer could see but it was too late. Lucifer cupped your face and ran his thumbs under your eyes to clear away the tears that had fallen. Your breath hitched, you tried to take in deep heavy breaths so you wouldn't start sobbing.

“Hey, hey, hey, shhhhh,” he spoke with a soothing tone. He removed himself from your lap and sat down next to you, embracing you in his arms. “It’s okay, angel, it’s ok. I upset you and I’m sorry, I never want to be the reason you cry.” He rested his head on top of yours while you clung to his chest. The scent of him hit your nostrils, it was like breathing in a warm spring day. Purely intoxicating. It calmed you down, you started to breathe normally again. You felt safe in his arms, you could have stayed there for the rest of your life.

You wrapped your arms around his torso, your tears finally drying. “Thank you, Lucifer,” you murmured. He gave you a tight squeeze before you lifted yourself back up, sitting at his hip and leaving your head on his shoulder. “You weren’t the reason I was sad, you know? You never have been.”

Lucifer turned his head to you, “Really? Then why-?”

“Because I’m afraid,” you quickly responded. “I’m afraid that I’m not good enough for you. That I never will be. You’re the all mighty Lucifer, King of Hell. You have so much strength and power and respect. And I’m…I’m just me.” You sighed and pulled your legs up to your chest to rest your head on your knees. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have-”

“Darling?,” Lucifer spoke at last. He brought himself in front of you on all fours and placed his hand under your chin, forcing you to look at him in his scarlet eyes. “ “Just you” is perfect. You don’t need to be anything but yourself! I understand what you’re feeling, and it’s okay to express that. But please know that I love you just the way you are. You are my true strength.”

You chuckled softly, leaning into his hand that was now pressed against your cheek. You took his words to heart; he loved you. He loved you so much. You had to show him that you felt the same way. You drew in a few quick and deep breaths before reaching for the hem of your sleep shirt.

“Wait, wait, what are you-” Lucifer tried to say, but you were too fast. Your shirt disappeared from your body and was tossed across the room. Silence filled the space, the only thing you could hear was your heart threatening to burst through your chest.

It was at that moment you noticed you couldn’t see Lucifer’s face. His hands had flown up to block his view of you.

“Lucifer?” you called to him.

“Y-You didn’t have to do that, love,” he stuttered. “I never wanted you to feel that you had to-”

“Please look at me, Luci,” you pleaded. “I love you. And I trust you. Let me show you. Please.”

You saw Lucifer’s hands slowly fall away from his hands, his eyes still screwed shut. “Are you sure?” he asked softly.

You leaned in to plant a kiss on his soft lip. Lucifer’s eyes shot open in surprise, you pulled away before he had a chance to react. Blood rushed to your cheeks when you saw him staring at you. Your first instinct was to cover yourself and shy away, but you pushed those feelings deep down. You were going to be vulnerable, you needed to be brave. Not just for him, but for yourself. You gripped the bed sheets so hard that you felt your nails digging into your skin through the silk.

After what seemed like an eternity, Lucifer had snapped out of his trance. He started to crawl towards you on his hands and knees, only stopping when his lips were inches away from your own. You felt his hot breath on you, you were finding it more and more difficult to keep your composure.

“You…are breathtaking,” he cooed, crashing his lips into yours hungrily. His tongue begged for entrance to your mouth, and you happily allowed it. You felt yourself slowly drifting down onto your back as you and Lucifer desperately devoured each other. He pulled away from your lips, trying to catch his breath, but you noticed he wasn’t looking into your eyes. His attention had drifted a little further down. He swallowed hard.

“May I?,” Lucifer asked breathlessly. Your face felt extremely hot and you couldn’t find the power to speak, so instead you nodded your head vigorously. He gave you a cheeky grin before lowering his mouth down onto one of your nipples. The noise you made sounded more high pitched than you meant it, but God, did it feel amazing! His tongue worked one nipple as his hand played with the other. You loved the sensation of him sucking and licking at your sensitive skin, the tiny bites from his teeth driving you insane. He rolled your other nipple between his two fingers, the pinches he gave sent your brain into overdrive. You never knew how sensitive you were, but Lucifer was more than happy to service you.

All of a sudden you noticed a different sensation, you felt something press against your inner thigh, dangerously close to your clothed pussy. It took your brain a few seconds to realize what was happening.

“Uhh, Lucifer, a-are you…”, you mumbled. Lucifer looked up from your chest with a puzzled face. “I can feel umm, I-I can feel your uhh…”, you didn’t know why you couldn’t say it. Maybe you were too embarrassed, which seemed silly considering what position you found yourself in. You pointed down towards your pants where Lucifer was wedged.

“Oh…OH,” Lucifer exclaimed pushing himself from you and onto his knees. “Oh my gosh, I-I’m so sorry! I didn’t realize you could uhh, feel that…please forgive me!”

Seeing him so flustered somehow calmed some of the nerves you had before. It was cute, really. Demon overlord Lucifer getting embarrassed about unintentionally pushing his hard on against your thigh. You let out a small giggle.

"It's alright, Luci," you chuckled. "I'm flattered, really!"

Lucifer smiled, placing his hand behind him to rub the back of his neck. "I'm still sorry about that, love. I'm a little embarrassed."

“Well,” you breathed, “I guess it’s only fair that I embarrass myself too then, right?” Without warning, you grabbed the waistband of your pants and ripped them off along with your panties in one fell swoop. You laid naked in front of Lucifer, whose whole face had turned a shade of red you’ve never seen before.

“Ffffuck,” was all Lucifer could muster. You watched his Adam’s apple rise and fall, attempting to regain his thoughts. Looking at you, it was plain to see how soaked you were.

“Like what you see?,” you teased. Lucifer nodded his head eagerly, still at a loss for words. You lifted your hand and curled your finger, beckoning him to you. Obediently, Lucifer crawled on the bed towards you with no reservations. “You’re not the only one that’s worked up here. Now we’re even.”

“My love, please…” Lucifer whined, “please let me taste you.”

"Don't you...wanna get more comfortable first?," you asked him, knowing the problem in his pants had probably only gotten worse for him.

"Not until I've had my fill of you, sweetheart," he smiled before forcing his head between your legs. The moan you let out was guttural, almost feral, he lapped your folds like a starving man. He took long, drawn out licks up your slit before focusing on your clit. His lips kissed and sucked on your sensitive nub, sending waves of pleasure throughout you entire body. You couldn't pull away if you tried, he had wrapped his arms under your legs so you couldn't escape his assault on your cunt.

"Sh-shit, oh-oh my God Lucifer, FUCK," you moaned. You could feel a smile form on his face as this seemed to have made him pick up the pace. You screamed from his tongue darting in and out of you, feeling so close to snapping. Your thighs started to fold in on his head and you grabbed a fistful of his hair trying to regain some assemblance of control. “Fuckfuckfuck, mmmm…gonna c-cum, aaggghh, gonnacumgonnacum!” Lucifer’s tongue relentlessly circling your clit finally caused your body to spasm, your orgasm causing you to scream out in pleasure. Lucifer didn’t stop though, he let you ride out your orgasm and hungrily devoured your release. Once you finally came down from your high, Lucifer lifted his face from between your legs and flashed you a toothy grin, seemingly quite proud of his work.

“You alright, darling?,” he asked innocently, almost pretending like he wasn’t the cause of what you had just experienced.

“Y-yeah, I’m…I’m fine,” you breathed. “Just…Jesus, that was intense! Give me a little warning before you go all in on me like that again!”

Lucifer laughed. “I’m sorry, love, I couldn’t help myself.”

You rolled your eyes at him playfully. “Oh, I’m sure you couldn’t. Now, let’s get these off you, hmm?,” you said tugging at his pants.

Lucifer stood up from the bed quickly. He undid his belt and let his pants drop to the floor. From the outlines of his briefs, you were surprised that they could contain him at all. Before he could pull at the hem, you jumped off the bed to stop him.

“Allow me,” you offered, getting on your knees in front of him. You reached up and grabbed onto his briefs, snaking them down his legs. His cock sprang free of its cage and hung in front of your face, its tip already leaking. Without thinking, your wrapped your lips around the head of his cock. Lucifer let out a moan that you’ve never heard before, filled with absolute lust and need. You took one of your hands and grabbed the base of his shaft, slowly stroking up and down while your mouth continued to work on his head. You ran small licks against the slit, tasting and lapping all of the precum that was forming. You loved the taste of him.

“Love…f-fuck,” Lucifer panted, trying to fight through his moans, “if you don’t s-stop now, I-I’m gonna cum. I wanna…wanna feel you. P-Please…”

Reluctantly, you pulled your mouth away from his cock with a *pop*, pouting slightly. Lucifer leaned down to grab your torso and tossed you onto the bed like you were made of paper mache. That angelic strength of his always caught you off guard. Lucifer crept between your legs, planting a tender kiss on your lips.

“I promise,” he whispered against your lips, “next time you can finish what you started, but right now I need you. Need to feel you.” Lucifer brought his fingers to your needy cunt, feeling the slickness of your folds. Your breath caught in your throat at the sensation. He took his other hand and lined up the tip of his cock to your entrance. “Are you ready, my angel?,” he asked softly.

You grinned and nodded your head. With that, Lucifer closed the space between you once more with a fiery kiss as his cock entered you inch by inch. Your cries mixed with his as he finally entered you completely.

“You feel…amazing, darling, fuck…” Lucifer choked out. “Are you okay?”

“Yes,” you murmured, “I-I’m okay. You can move.”

“Anything for you,” he smiled. Lucifer slowly began to rock his hips into you, his cock filling you up completely with each thrust. You could feel every inch of him ruining your pussy, hitting just the right spot every time. It didn’t take long for his pace to become erratic and uneven. He buried his cock deep inside you, both of your moans filling the room.

“Lu-Lucifer, o-oh shit, Lucifer, I-I’m so close,” you pleaded. “Please don’t stop, p-please don’t.”

“Cum for me, darling. Wanna feel you cum.” Lucifer groaned. He bit down on your should as he continued to pound into you, biting and sucking your tender skin. You were shaking, he was going too fast, you were coming undone.

“Cuminme…FUCKCUMINME,” you screamed and wrapped your legs around him as your orgasm flooded over you. You felt your walls pulsating around his cock, it was too much for Lucifer to handle. You heard him cry out and felt him twitch inside you, filling you up with his hot cum.

Coming down from your highs, you both laid there for a moment trying to catch your breath. You played with Lucifer’s hair as he laid across your chest, completely worn out. A minute or two passed before Lucifer sat up and pulled himself out of you. He laid down next to you, staring at your flushed face.

“Are you alright?,” he asked. “Did I hurt you at all?”

“No, you didn’t hurt me,” you smiled. “That felt…really good. Thank you, for everything.”

Lucifer hummed and leaned up to press a gentle kiss to your lips. “No, thank you, love.”

You chuckled returning the kiss. “Would…you mind if I held you, Luci?”

Lucifer’s eyes widened, but he smiled wide. “Of course not, I’d love nothing more.”

Lucifer rolled on his side, giving you the chance to push your body against his back and wrap your arms around him. You both didn’t move until the morning.

~~~~

Hope you enjoyed my second attempt at NSFW content lmaooooo

AND YEAH I MADE HIM THE LITTLE SPOON, IT’S WHAT HE WOULD WANT

[avocad1s]

Trial By Combat - 5

Requested By: No one. Original Work

CW: None that I know of!

Summary: The Creator is gone.

Note: This has indeed been a LONG LONG wait. Your patience is and will always be appreciated.

No spoilers for the newest Archon Quest!

Part One —> Part Four Part Six

A foul smell lolled you awake. Your breath caught in your throat at the intense smell of saltwater. Your mind felt dazed and your body felt sore all over. As though you were being pulled from side to side. Slowly, you try to sit up, despite your limbs screaming not to. You were laying on a berth, the cushion below you was stuffed with some material to make it more comfortable while a thick blanket was placed meticulously over your body.

“You’re finally awake…”

Your head turns into the direction of the voice. 

Although they sat in the dark corner, it was evident how intently they were staring, as if they were drilling into your soul. Suddenly they stand up, their shoes making a sharp noise as it comes into contact with the wooden floor. 

Instinctively you scoot away, your back hitting the wood behind you, the aura this woman gave off screamed that you were in danger. Her movements were slow and concise, and once she was right in front of you, she spoke again.

“I will not hurt you, Your Grace, you have no reason to be afraid.” her voice was soft. You looked into her eyes and saw a gentle nature about them. Odd, considering how different she presented herself.

You recognized her face, she was there right before you passed out from drinking the ‘medicine’ that nurse gave you. Where exactly did she take you? You definitely weren't in the Court Of Fontaine anymore. Your senses felt like they were at an all time high.  She had you cornered, and in your inebriated state with a healing wound, you couldn’t fight her.

“Who are you? Where am I?” Your voice was raspy as the questions left your mouth quickly. You bring your hand up to your neck, rubbing it slightly, wanting to ease the dry sensation you felt in your throat.

“My name is Arlecchino.” She introduces.

Arlecchino notices how you rub your throat, she walks over grabbing a cup of water off the table nearby. “You look thirsty, you should drink this.”

Once she holds out the glass, you quickly smack it out of her hands. The glass shattered on the floor. Her eyes widened slightly, staring down at the puddle by her feet.

“Y–Your Grace..?”

“I'm not drinking anything you give me.” Your eyes narrow.

Arlecchino lets out a sharp breath through her nose.

“I apologize for my actions, Your Grace, but I had no other way of getting you out of Fontaine.” She shifts slightly, glass crunching under her feet.

“Wait? Get me out of Fontaine? Where am I exactly?” You ask.

“We are right outside of the city.” She explains, “Soon enough, we will be heading to Snezhnaya.”

Your eyes widen. Snezhnaya? With the Tsaritsa?

 Furina, the Hydro Archon, already tried to have you killed and now you’ll be meeting the Cryo Archon.

And if her subjects were willing to kidnap you for her… 

As if she read your mind, she quickly says, “You needn't worry Your Grace. We are not as foolish as the Hydro Archon and will never intentionally harm you.”

You let out a sigh of relief but you knew you couldn’t let your guard down. You still had no idea what her intentions for you were yet. 

Arlecchino kneels down in front of you, “I know considering the circumstances it is wrong of me to ask you this but I must.”

She gently grasps your right hand with both of hers, holding it in a delicate manner just in case you want to pull away.

“Did Focalors ever mention the prophecy to you?”

Your eyebrows furrow, “The prophecy?”

Arlecchino lets out a quiet sigh as she closes her eyes slowly, she almost looks disappointed. 

“Fontaine is in danger, Your Grace.” she states, “the nation and all the people within it.”

Her grip on your hand tightens, “I want to find a way to save my home, and I believe that you returning to Teyvat at this time was for that exact reason.”

You shift awkwardly, “How am I supposed to help? I don’t have any elemental powers.”

Arlecchino's eyebrows furrow, “You do not need a vision, you have abilities above any of our comprehension.”

Powers above their comprehension? You couldn’t even beat that Champion Duelist in a fight, and if you actually had powers, they would’ve come in handy then. Not to mention even if you did have these powers, wouldn’t they have made themselves apparent by now?

Arlecchino takes note of your bewildered expression, “You don’t remember? Maybe your sudden reappearance caused some side effects. Amnesia perhaps.”

You wanted to dispute what she said. You weren’t some omnipotent being, you were you. You weren’t suffering from memory loss because whatever she's talking about wasn’t true.

“Your Grace.” Arlecchino says again bring your attention back to her. 

“The Hydro Archon has taken no action to save Fontaine from utter destruction. She tried to accuse you of a heinous crime all for her own entertainment, and even now, she's too much of a coward to face her own people for what she's done.�� 

Her dark eyes narrow, a hint of desperation in her voice, “Please hear me out, Your Eminence, I will do anything to save your world from losing another nation.”

You could see more behind those red X’s in her eyes, an underlying feeling of dread of what would happen if you said anything other than yes. 

“Tell me more about this prophecy and how we can stop it.” You state.

A smile spreads across her red lips, “As you wish, Your Grace…”

It was raining in Fontaine once again.

     After only hours of clear skies, the clouds returned and another downpour began. Many children looked up to the sky and begged for the Hydro Dragon to not weep but to no avail.

Neuvillette sat at his desk in silence, staring down at the paper in front of him with his elegant handwriting on it. A letter meant to be sent to the Dendro Archon. 

Neuvillette was aware of his duty, to honor the word of the Creator, but he couldn’t bring himself to send this letter. He had hope that if he had just a little bit more time, he could earn their forgiveness. He just needed to keep them in Fontaine a bit longer. 

Their Grace took his gift last night, surely that must be a sign that he’s moving in the correct direction. Perhaps he could tell Their Grace he sent the letter but delay it for another week? No. He can't do that. It’s his job to uphold the truth and lying to his creator is the biggest crime anyone could commit. (well, besides falsely accusing them of being an imposter)

A soft knock at the door makes him lift his head up and sit down his quill.

“Come in.” He says in a soft authoritative tone.

The door opens and two Melusines enter, the deadpan look Neuvillette had on his face is quickly replaced with a small smile.

“Kiara. Liath.” he says softly, “what can I do for you two?”

Neuvillette stands up and pats the two girls on their heads, but that doesn’t ease the panicked looks on their faces.

“Their Grace.” Kiara says.

Neuvillette’s eyes widened, “What about Their Grace? Are they okay?”

The Melusines glance at each other then back at the Chief Justice, “They’re gone.”

Neuvillette feels himself freeze for a short moment, “Gone? What do you mean gone?”

“We went there at dawn like you instructed but they weren’t there. The room has also been trashed as well.”

Neuvillette leaves his office immediately, his mind racing through the endless possibilities of what could’ve happened. Did Their Grace leave on their own accord? Or was someone able to sneak in and… 

“I will go investigate the matter myself.” Neuvillette states, his tone and expression not giving away what he actually felt in that moment. “Inform Lady Furina about the situation and tell her to meet me at Their Grace’s room.”

The Melusines nod and walk toward the door leading to Focalors abode.

-

Not long after Neuvillette arrived at the medical room, Furina rushed in. Her appearance was slightly disheveled, a tearful expression on her face.

“Is it true? Is Their Grace actually gone?”

“It would appear so, Lady Furina.” Neuvillette states.

The room was a mess just like the Melusines had said. Glass and water was all over the floor, and the bed was a mess. If you did leave on your own accord, you certainly left in a rush.

Furina walks around the room taking in the surroundings, “W-we should reach out to the other nations. Maybe one of them has already welcomed Their Grace?”

Neuvillette crosses his arms, “Are you sure that’s a good idea? Fontaine has already received enough scrutiny for what we’ve already done to Their Grace. If the other nations learned that we’ve lost them..”

Furina's lip quivered as she let out a sigh bringing her gloved hand to her forehead, “But surely they can look past that right? For the sake of Their Grace?!”

“I suggest we find out what actually happened to Their Grace first, then we can act accordingly.”

She nods at his suggestion, “Yes, you're right…”

Furina moves over to the window, making sure not to step on any of the glass that was on the floor. A large crowd was still surrounding the building, hoping to hear any news on the creator's condition.

Neuvillette clears his throat, “Lady Furina?”

She perks up, “Hmm? Yes Neuvillette?” 

“Have you done the other thing we’ve discussed?”

Focalors shuffles awkwardly as she looks down at her feet, “You mean the diplomatic discussions with The Knave?”

The Chief Justice narrows his eyes, “You know you cannot agree to this meeting right? Although Snezhnaya had said they wanted to discuss Tartaglia being in the Fortress of Meropide, we know they are going to bring up the situation with Their Grace.”

“But wouldn’t it only look bad on us if we were to deny their request for a meeting?”

“Yes that’s true, but if they ask to see Their Grace and we still don’t know where they are–”

“I know, I know.” Furina interjects, “Let’s just not worry about that for now. We need to focus on finding Their Grace.”

“I’ll keep guards posted around the room.” Neuvillette says, “As of now, we are treating this like a crime scene.”

For the first time since they came to Fontaine, Aether and Paimon had nothing to do. After helping Navia clear her father’s name, they hadn’t left the Spina di Rosula’s hideout. Using these past few days to get some needed rest. 

“Aether! Hurry and wake up you lazy bones!” Paimon whined, “we're gonna miss all the delicious cake!”

Aether pulls himself off the bed rubbing his eyes. Late last night, Lyney and Lyntte had showed up and offered to treat the pair to some baked goods. As a thank you for proving their innocence at the opera house a few weeks prior. Although, Aether still had his reservations about the two since they hid their connection to the Fatui, he could never pass up on some free cake.

The two leave their room and Paimon’s mouth was already watering. A small trail of salvia dangled from her chin as she spoke excitedly. “Come on! Come on!”

The trip to the Hotel Debord was oddly quiet. Not that the Traveler and Paimon were celebrities, but it seems like almost no one was around. None of the shops seemed to be open and there were no children running around playing, Fontaine would’ve resembled a ghost town if it weren’t for the gardes. 

“Is it just Paimon, or does it feel like we just missed something major?”

Aether silently agrees wiping the rainwater off his cheek, it certainly did feel like there was some tension in the air.

“Aether! Paimon!”

Lyney had a large smile on his face as he waved over his two friends. Lynette stood close by, as silent as ever. 

“Lyney! Lynette! Long time no see!” Paimon says happily as she floats over to the twins.

“It has been a long time hasn't it?” Lyney says with a chuckle, “Lynette and I had been working so hard on more magic tricks, time just seemed to pass.”

“Something even better than the water tank magic trick“ Lynette chimes in.

“Oh! Sounds like fun! Hopefully we’ll be able to see it once it's finished.”

Lyney turns his attention to Aether, who was just quiet, taking in his surroundings. “Is something wrong there? You’re quiet, more quiet than usual.”

“Doesn’t it seem odd around Fontaine? Where is everyone” Aether asks.

Lyney and Lynette share glances, “I think there’s a huge trial happening in the opera house today, that would explain the rain.”

Aether brought a hand up to his chin. That did make sense, Fontainians did love their drama and he does recall Lyney telling him that it did rain on the days trials were held.

But why did it feel like something was being left out?

“Let’s not stand out in the rain anymore, Paimon is ready for some cake!”

The four sat down at one of the tables on the second floor, it wasn’t long until the entire table was covered in plates of sweets, pastries, and drinks. More than enough for the group to enjoy.

“Um, excuse me?” A kind voice calls out, “Are you two Paimon and the Traveler?”

Aether turned to the owner of the voice and it was a woman with sandy brunette hair and blue eyes, she had a small smile on her lips as her eyes darted across the whole group.

“Yep, that's us!” Paimon chirps, “who are you? Did you need the Aethers help?”

“Oh no.” she shakes her head, “My name is Isadora, I work at Palais Mermonia. Monsieur Neuvillette had sent me here to retrieve you two.”

“Oh Neuvillette?” Paimons says, “Isn’t he judging a trial right now?”

Isadora’s eyebrows furrow, “No he isn't. There’s no trial being held in Opera Epiclese at the moment.”

Lyney rubs the back of his neck, “Oh really? Ha, who would’ve known!”

“Anyway,” Isadora says, “Monsieur Neuvillette had said this manner he wished to speak with you about was very important and for you two to come as quickly as possible.”

“Well, we’re pretty much done here.” Aether says, “why don’t we just head over there now?”

“W–wait!” Lyney suddenly calls out. “You two are leaving already? Lynette and I were hoping to show you our newest magic trick.”

“We really should stop by and see what Neuvillette wants, he promised to keep us updated on anything related to Childe. How about we come by later to see the magic trick?” Aether suggests.

Lyney gives them a small smile, “Only if you promise to share with us what Neuvillette had said about Childe. ‘Father’ has been trying to get information out of Lady Furina and the Iudex ever since the guilty verdict.”

Aether and Paimon stand from their seats, “Sure we can meet and discuss it later.”

The twins glance at each other again and Aether can’t help but notice the looks on their faces. Was it panic? Fear? Or is he just being too suspicious of them since he’s aware they’re a part of the Fatui now? He lets out a sigh, shaking off the feeling as he and Paimon left with Isadora for Palais Mermonia.

-

“Aether… Paimon… You made it.”

Neuvillette’s voice was as tranquil as he stood from his chair, he walked to the front of his desk to stand near them, his hands laced behind his back.

“Yeah, Isadora made it seem like you had something really important to tell us.” Paimon begins crossing her tiny arms, “Is it about Childe?”

“Not necessarily.” Neuvillette responds, “Although he does have something to do with it.”

Aether perks up, “What’s this about then?”

“You’ve heard that the Creator is in Fontaine, correct?”

Aether’s and Paimon’s eyes widen, throughout the entire time they’ve been visiting the Seven all of the Archons have mentioned the Creator and their benevolence. Aether had even used some mora to buy books to learn more about them himself. He believed that if he still couldn’t find his sister even after meeting the final Archon, he would have to find a way to reach out to the Creator themselves.

But they have been here, in Fontaine this whole time and he didn’t even know?

“T–the Creator is what!” Paimon exclaims, “Where are they! When can we meet them!”

“Calm down for a second.” Neuvillette orders, “That's the reason I’ve called you here.”

Neuvillette explains to the two the string of bad events he and Furina had committed against the Creator. From calling them a fraud and putting them on trial and watching a Clorinde duel them and almost killed them on the spot.

“...They have been recovering in the hospital ever since. However I was informed by some Melusines that when they went to check on Their Grace today, they were missing?”

Aethers eyebrows furrow, “Missing?”

“Indeed. It appears that late last night that they were gone without a trace. Clorinde has checked all around Fontaine, above and underwater and we still haven’t found them. However,  after some investigating of their room, we don’t believe they left by choice. The room they were staying in was trashed like someone was deliberately trying to conceal evidence.”

“Who would do that to the Creator? Wouldn’t that be the biggest crime you could commit in all of Fonta– actually in all of Teyvat?” Paimon exclaims. 

“Correct.” Neuvillette says, “But we found this weird vial in the trash by the door. I guess the culprit didn’t believe that we would look there.”

“What was in the vial?” Aether asks.

“I had it inspected by a nurse I trust personally, she had explained how some of the ingredients originate from Snezhnaya.”

Paimon stammers, “Snezhnaya! Of course! Only the Fatui would be willing to do something so cruel!” There was a frown on the fairy’s lips as she stomped her foot in the air.

“I do not know what kind of beliefs Snezhnaya nor the Fatui hold toward the Creator, but we must make rescuing them our utmost priority.”

“How did you want us to help?” Aether asks, his kind nature shining over like always.

“If the Fatui really did manage to capture Their Grace, there’s only one person here in Fontaine who may be aware of what they'll do to them.”

Paimon and Aether look at each other.

“Childe.”

Neuvillette nods, “Indeed. Mr. Tartaglia is a harbinger. He should hold some of the highest secrets within the group. Including those about Their Grace.”

Neuvillette walks back over to his desk, sifting through the papers on top of it. “If you’re willing, I will file false charges against you and allow you to enter the Fortress of Meropide to question Mr. Tartaglia about these plans.”

Aether gives a firm nod, “I’m willing. I need some answers from Their Grace once we find them.”

“Very well.” Neuvillette, “You two should prepare yourselves. Once you enter the Fortress of Meropide, It’ll be hard for me to contact you. You’ll be treated like an actual prisoner.”

Paimon places her hands on her stomach, “Oh no. After hearing that, Paimons suddenly feeling hungry again.”

“I will begin making the arrangements.” Neuvillette says as he sits back down, “I hope that you two will return with good news.”

“Neuvillette?” Aether calls.

The Chief Justice meets the outlander's gaze, “Yes? What is it?”

“After what you’ve just told us I can’t stop thinking…” Aether begins, “do you think that this could be the Prophecy? That this is the sin Fontainians committed?”

Neuvillette cast a wide eyed look, and looked back down to his desk, an almost shameful look on his face.

“... I am hoping that’s not the case.” He whispered softly. 

© avocad1s 2023

Note: Does this post look slightly different than the rest? I switched over to writing on desktop rather than on mobile... which is also one of the reasons why I took so long to post.

Tagging: @bittersweetorpheus @esthelily @tempestlart @angelofdarkness2 @mmeatt @dxprived4-starboys @Itm-acct @honey-lemonz @ymechi @nervouseaglelover @livelaughlovekuni @vianitry @vvyeislazzy @kbar1013 @ichiraku-verse @chaoticfivesworld @eplefugl @mabvo @g3n0dtt @shikanosn @noahrandom @haunts-gh0st @pix-stuff @riiriin @emmbny @mih3r4 @shiki-jin @owl778 @ra404 @leekingsman @ash1 @wangjiswarren @shellofthewell @f1onaa @mahi-does-some-art @bitchyfanfics-posts @emilymikado @sarah22447 @swagbucksjester  @chrysanthemum-00 @nex-crowley @iruiji @cloise @scalyalpaca @game-savvy @dreamlessnight

If you wish to be removed from the taglist just inbox me and I will remove you! If your @ is bolded that means I cannot tag you (unless I’m just dumb lol) Hopefully I've tagged everyone who's asked and didn't make any mistakes!

[legobiwan]

For the drabble prompt list

"none of this is your fault" mario and luigi

Drabbles, they said, Ha! I answered. Anyway, I have no idea where this came from, but enjoy this barely-edited not-drabble. I am apparently incapable of concise writing right now :D

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“None of this is your fault, Lou.”

Luigi scoffed, pushing dampened sleeves up both arms, smearing dark, sweaty grease across his skin in wide, impressionistic lines.

“You tell that to Toadsworth in three days. I’m sure he’ll be happy to believe you,” Luigi groused, tightening a stubborn, thick bolt with a violent twist. That should keep the engine boosters from flying off at speeds exceeding thirty miles an hour. (Or as they were counted in the Mushroom Kingdom, five hundred and two mycelia per second, a measuring system so opaque - and infuriating - that Luigi had sat through an entire five-hour Toad Council meeting just so he could petition the government to introduce a bill to launch a public vote on switching to any other quantifier that made a modicum of sense. The notion, of course, was voted down in a manner of seconds. Tradition, Mister Luigi, Toadsworth had sniffed, rapping his long-handled gavel with an imperious gesture, closing off all debate on the matter).

Snobby old toad could stuff it up his spore holes.

“He’ll get over it,” Mario said. “What’s he going to do, anyway? Make us sit through another boring state dinner?”

Luigi poked at a serpentine belt that resembled some slices of old cheese he once found in the back of their fridge in Brooklyn. How these guys managed to stay competitive with equipment in this condition was a complete slap in the face to basic physics.

“You like those dinners.” Luigi crawled out from under the dented chassis, sitting back on his haunches as he gestured at his brother with a ratchet-wrench, making curly patterns in the air as if he were a Magikoopa casting a spell.

“I hate those dinners as much as you. They’re hot, stuffy, and the food is an insult to the entirety of Brooklyn. It’s not my fault I get to sit next to Peach and you’re always stuck with Lady Maitake and her hundreds of onion bulb-pup photos for two hours.”

“Don’t remind me. Did you know she’s trying to train them to do circus acts and take them on the road?” Luigi ran a finger down one of the dusty schematics strewn about the stone floor. “Hand me that spanner, will you?”

Mario shook his head, chuckling, handing off the hooked tool to Luigi, who shimmied once more underneath the maroon-and-black kart. “Look, you got hoodwinked into a bad contract. I should have looked over the fine print before you signed.”

“You’re not my keeper, Mario,” Luigi grumbled, trying to keep the irritation out of his voice. “And it’s not even the contract that I care about. Frankly, I’m impressed Bowser’s been able to get these things to do anything beyond cough up smoke and crash into the nearest palm tree. It’s a good challenge to get them running again.”

“So what’s the issue, then?”

Luigi stilled, his hands guts-deep in a mess of wiring and cables that looked like an earthworm graveyard. After a moment, he sighed, letting the spanner tool clatter to the floor with a bright, metallic jangle. 

“The issue,” he began, staring up at the internal electronic system of one of Bowser’s so-called best racing karts. “Is that he’s probably going to win. Bowser, that is. And everyone will make nice about it at the awards ceremony and Bowser will get too drunk on elderflower wine and get kicked out of the post-race party.”

“That happens every race, Lou.”

“Yeah, but you know Bowser. He’ll let it slip that I was the one doing repairs on his karts. And then in the morning, there will be a meeting. And Toadsworth will go on about the standing of the Kingdom being compromised and it being a diplomatic catastrophe that we allowed Bowser to win and that,” Luigi adopted a whiny, pompous voice. “Mr. Luigi has once again strained his credibility within the Mushroom Kingdom.” 

“Look, that stodgy old Toad has no chance of making those charges stick. You were exonerated, Weeg. Nothing that happened with Bleck - “ Mario clenched his fists, hissing through his teeth. “Nothing that happened in that place was you. That wasn’t your fault, and neither is this.”

Luigi reached towards one of the dangling battery coils, playing with the violet and yellow wires between his fingers. “Sure,” he breathed. “Not me.”

“Not you,” Mario insisted, his voice steely. “And besides,” he continued, a hint of humor creeping into his words. If you’re so concerned about Toadsworth, why don’t you sabotage Bowser’s fleet?”

Luigi pushed himself out from under the kart, snapping up to a seat in wide-eyed horror.

“And ruin my reputation as an engineer? No way, bro. I’ll risk the treason charges, thank you very much.”

Mario guffawed, ambling over to take a seat next to his brother, the two coming shoulder-to-shoulder, backs set against the passenger door of the Koopa Coupe. “I think your reputation is beyond reproach, Lou.” Mario gave a small, uncertain smile. “After all, you did build two killer robots in the span of two weeks.”

It was a huge step forward, just being able to talk about the whole incident in Flipside, no less joke about it - the ordeal with Bleck and the jester and Luigi’s brainwashing. Mario had stayed tight-lipped about the entire debacle for weeks after they had gotten back, much to Luigi’s aggravation, until things came to a head one night due to a series of ill-conceived plans on the part of the Toad Council, the most brazen of which featured a misserved cup of tea laced with a dubiously legal truth potion.

Luigi sniffed out half a chuckle, nudging his brother in the shoulder. “Well, I can’t let Bowser think I’m slipping, right?”

Mario eyed his brother carefully, his features brightening as he caught the note of mischief in Luigi’s voice. Grinning, he clapped his brother on the knee. “You’ve got an idea, don’t you? The Old Koopa King doesn’t know what he’s got coming.”

Luigi straightened, composing himself into the picture of innocence. “Dear brother, I am a man of my word. Bowser will win the race, just like the contract stipulates.”

“And?”

“Aaand,” Luigi drew out the word, schematics and thermodynamic equations taking shape in his mind. “Let’s say the engine modifications I’m making happen to engage a set of rocket boosters at a certain speed threshold. Bowser’ll like that. But then maybe the activation of those boosters, given a certain location and time input, temporarily cede control of the brakes and steering to a pre-programmed route of the engineer’s choosing.” Luigi paused for dramatic effect. “All after the race is finished, of course. No injuries. No harm. Just a little post-race joyride through the forest.”

Mario gave a joyous whoop, bringing his brother into a tight, side-hug. “They’ll hear him screaming all the way in Rogueport! Ha! You know he’ll threaten to invade during the after-party! No one will care if you worked on his kart once he shows back up breathing smoke!”

“He’ll do that regardless,” Luigi laughed, feeling lighter than he had in weeks. “But you know how these modifications are. Always a chance of overburdening your circuits.”

“And at least it’ll be a while before he tries to trick you into doing his dirty work again,” Mario added.

“I hope so.” Luigi placed a warm hand on his brother’s shoulder, smiling. “Thanks, Mario.”

Mario beamed back at his brother, playfully flicking the brim of Luigi’s hat. “Come on, Lou. Show me how to build a sentient robot race kart.”

~~~~~

Drabble writing challenge: Make me sweat!

[narfin-frood]

Silly question but how do you art?

Or more like, how is your process to draw? Your lines and posing are so loose and show the feeling of a character so well, like, how do you make your art so real with only a few lines is what most amaze me. Anyway I hope I'm not bothering you and that makes sense, thanks for reading!<3

you're not a bother, don't worry! i'm not sure if there's an appropriately concise answer to a question like this, but i'll try to explain my process for poses a bit, and if there's anything else specific you'd like to know about my process, feel free to ask, and i'll try to answer!

for posing, i find it's very helpful to start by thinking about what situation the character is in. you don't need a location or a background or anything (unless you're being #serious about it). for this, i chose "picking up something way too heavy" (cont. under cut, wall of text ahead)

keeping it very simple is key!!! do not worry about details!!! i am very bad at this. i love to add a little detail or two, like his eyes or his little expression, but i have to catch myself before i get too into it, otherwise i'll forget the point of what i was doing and/or get bored. use just enough strokes to get the point across, and stop there (for now).

i draw fast and loose, with long strokes, which also happens to help with the problem that happens if you start with any specific part of the body. it's important to start with... everything at once, or else you won't be able to see what needs to be changed or fixed until it's too late and you've already decided on where you want the head and the left arm to be!

to display effort & strain without just contorting the character's face, you gotta think about just how heavy the object is, how one would go about grabbing it comfortably, and whether your character is smart enough to lift with their legs.

wander is great (read: BEST CHARACTER DESIGN EVAR. i love him kisskisskiss) because he's not grounded in any sort of reality until necessary, and his limbs have no bones, but he still has specific proportions and volumes to refer back to if you get carried away with the wackiness. posing a character made up of several noodles of varying widths is very simple, because you can do basically whatever you want to push and pull and make it as clear (and/or as funny) as possible.

start with your line of action, in this case the long line connecting his neck and his left foot. think about where the floor is, so you can make the feet of your character and whatever else is touching it coexist in the same reality. think about clarity: big, simple shapes are your friends, and if you're not getting the gist of the pose through the silhouette alone, try again! there's NO shame in hiding the first layer and doing a couple more sketches until you land on something you really like. Don't polish a turd, especially if you yourself think it's a turd. it'll make you feel like you're wasting time, and drawing is about having fun and experimenting, so if it's getting boring or frustrating, it's time to try something else.

wander and other characters with no bones and no rules are great for posing because you can do things like make their arms bend the wrong way just to play with the clarity of the pose. this:

un-breaks the arms and makes a little more sense for somebody with elbows, but some clarity in the action is lost when the arms don't curve upward and away from the very heavy object he's straining to pick up.

grounding your characters is both more complex and easier than it sounds, and it unfortunately requires you to think about perspective (i know. i know. i know it sucks and it's confusing. i hated it for a very long time but once it clicks, you'll have it in your brain forever)

fudging a perspective grid is fairly easy, just draw several parallel lines and have them get closer to each other as they recede into the distance, and then do it again in the opposite direction. you can use the transform tool in whatever program you use most to fudge this for even less effort, by just getting a png of a grid and fucking with it

now that you've got your floor, think about those feet. the grid makes it fairly easy to envision how a shoe would look sitting on that floor:

this is also where having an understanding of volumes comes in handy, because things farther in the distance will in fact look smaller, but it's up to you to figure out just how much smaller it would be in comparison to the other identical thing with the same volume that's closer to the camera. usually it's almost negligible, but it becomes easy to spot if it's a little off.

and here's the pose i settled on! i made his noodle arms more extreme for extra XD factor and i put him on his tippy toes for that extra bit of height!

a lot of the principles i'm talking about in this post i mainly pick up from consciously watching my favorite cartoons (and live action shows) and if i really, really like the way something is done, or if i see something that i've never really registered before, i'll screencap it or i'll pause or i'll just keep thinking about it until i draw again.

this is called "building a visual library" and it's the #1 easiest and most important way to practice. it requires no drawing, unless you want it to. look at lots of art by artists you love, and if you see something and you think to yourself, hey, this looks really good, by all means, absorb it.

art is great and it's really fun and there's literally nothing wrong with taking inspiration where you can find it!! seriously!!! absorb your favorite parts of every art style you find cool and fun and put it into your own! you're the only person who can draw the way you draw, and while replicating an art style is fairly easy (or it can be, depending), matching it perfectly is Literally impossible, so don't worry about being derivative. Nobody will notice, and if they do, it's okay to say you're inspired by them! encouraged, even!

my own art style, like everybody else's, is a frankenstein's monster containing all of the things i've loved before!!! and i think thats beautiful and if anybody tries to tell you you've gotta be 100% original and have "your very own style", they're a filthy liar and they're definitely (consciously or not) already taking inspiration and reference from the things they themselves find cool and awesome.

ANYWAY. wall of text over.

TLDR: draw quickly, use long strokes (try not to pet your lines), have a specific situation to put your character in, get familiar with volumes and proportions, and have fun!!!

[ticklygiggles]

Lovelynim's tickletober Day 6: Order

King!Kuroo x Royal tickler!Daichi | [n$fw-ish]

A/N: This is an AU that has been in my head for YEARS I kid you not. It is based on that post about royal ticklers in monarchy. I don't have the link, but iykyk I guess lol enjoy~

Nothing really happens, but there are implied mentions of n$fw topics.

"My King." Daichi bowed deeply, his forehead almost touching the floor. "There are no words to express my gratitude, please tell me what I can do to serve you."

Who would have thought that a simple commoner like him would be recruited by the King himself? Daichi wasn't sure if he had done anything in particular to draw the King's attention, but he didn't give it much thought either; serving a monarch of his caliber was more than Daichi could ever wish for.

Kuroo chuckled, making a small gesture with his hand that made all the other servants to quickly retreat. "Sawamura Daichi. Thank you for accepting my proposal to work for me, I am very happy to have you here." Daichi smiled widely and noticed how the King's cat eyes darkened a little.

"First of all, Daichi. I must tell you that the job I'm offering you is very confidential. Very few people in my kingdom know about it." Daichi tensed as he watched the King standing up from his throne. He approached him with light, slow steps and Daichi's heart raced madly. Once the king was in front of him, Daichi could barely breathe and remain calm.

"I give you the freedom to choose to stay or leave after hearing my proposal," he continued, "however, you must swear on behalf of your own head that you will never, regardless of your choice, say a single word about this to anyone."

Daichi blinked, the king was just a few centimeters away from him, he could feel the heat emanating from his body and his eyes couldn't help but wander along the line of the king's collarbone; his loose clothing left his chest and part of his toned stomach exposed. Daichi gulped and his eyes quickly looked up at the king again.

"Are you scared?" The king purred and Daichi quickly shook his head, making the king chuckle.

"I'm not and I promise, whatever I decide, I will never say anything about it."

Kuroo smiled. "Very good. I'll be clear and concise. Daichi, I want you to be my royal tickler."

Daichi blinked. "R-Royal tickler? As in... tickle you, Your Highness?"

The king chuckled again, one of his hands hiding his smile as a soft pink hue assaulted his cheeks. Daichi widened his eyes, that was certainly adorable. "That is correct, Daichi. I have... a peculiar attraction to tickling, you see. All I want is for you to come to my chambers at night, whenever I order you, and tickle me until I'm screaming in ecstasy. What do you say?"

Daichi was speechless. His mouth opened and closed a few times like a fish out of water and the king laughed softly. The king had really just asked him that? Was it a joke? A test?

"Don't overthink it, Daichi. I like you, so of course I would like you to please me at night, but if it's too much to ask, like I said, you're free to-"

"I'll do it!" Daichi gasped, lowering his head. "I- I mean... I'll gladly do it, Your Highness. If you find this lowly one to your liking and think I can do a good job pleasing you, then please, accept me as your servant."

Daichi bowed again, but jumped slightly when cold fingers touched his chin. As he raised his face, his breath caught in his throat, for the king was millimeters away from his face, looking at him with a gleam in his golden eyes that sent a chill down Daichi's spine.

"Well then, Daichi. This is your first order: tickle your king until he's begging for mercy. Can you do that?"

Daichi's hands moved on its own and gripped the king's sides, very close to his hip bones. Daichi's fingers trembled, his eyes unable to stop looking at the king's, and he started tickling him and when he heard the king's loud, hysterical laughter and saw the blush deepening on his face and noticed the way his body moved and arched into the tickling, he thought that he had really been extremely lucky to be chosen to spoil this man.

After all, he couldn't deny he fancied the king, but that was a talk for another time.

[beauty-and-passion]

Why you should listen to Chonny's Charming Chaos Compendium

I didn't expect to truly write a post about this album.

Anons introduced me to its genesis, production and themes and they seemed interesting... but was there enough food for thought?

I had no idea. My expectations were positive, so I imagined I would listen to something good: I just didn't know if this album had enough for me to talk about and say something new - considering that the CCCC fans already did a great job analyzing every detail of the songs.

But when I listened to them (and read more theories/explanations), I noticed some interesting things. Things that stirred my brain and made me think. Things I wanted to talk about.

So here I am, writing a post about Chonny's Charming Chaos Compendium Volume 1. I am not pretending to explain the lore or the songs in detail and I don't want to bother you with an extremely long post. All I want is to give you some material to decide if CCCC is worth a try.

And, if you've never heard about it before, I hope my words will spark your interest, because this album deserves more attention.

One last thing: please be aware I will talk about all sorts of themes, from love to suicide, because those are also the themes of the album.

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A simple plot

I can hear you, fans who have listened to the whole album: simple story?! It's complicated! It's open to interpretations!

And yes, you're right. But if we consider the core foundation on which the songs are built... well, that's quite straightforward. With this album, Chonny Jash is telling us about his struggles and how they led to a psychological split inside him into Mind, Heart and Soul. Then these three parts start fighting, until they find a way to reunite again.

And yes, we can also add that this is a time loop and things are destined to repeat themselves, but the structure is still simple, clear and concise. As clear as the tripartition of the album into Calamity, Cacophony and Concord, three parts that correspond to the story's three main points: the split, the fight, the reunion.

And this simplicity isn't a bad thing, oh absolutely not. This is perfect.

There's a common misconception that a good story should be complicated. The plot should be complex and convoluted and the more complex and convoluted it is, the better the story will be. I made this conceptual mistake too and it took me years to realize how wrong it was: the better stories are not the most complicated ones, but the simpler ones.

Why?, you may ask. Isn't a simple story proof of amateur writing - or even worse, lack of creativity?

Actually, it's quite the opposite and there are four reasons why:

If a story has a simple, clear foundation, it will be easier to build on it: a simple foundation is stable and strong, it won't break down too easily. You can add layers and metaphors and hide your plot points behind different interpretations, but your public won't get lost, because the foundation would still be clear: there are three figures, they fight, they reunite. Everyone can understand it.

If everyone can understand your foundation, your story is universal. Everyone can approach and experience it, from an old person to a child, and everyone will find something inside: a message, a feeling, a piece of advice, anything.

If your story is universal and the foundation clear, your vision is also clear. And if your vision is clear, you know what you're doing. And if you know what you're doing, your story will be much more organized too: there won't be dull/useless parts, filler, or moments in which you're just dilly-dallying, waiting for the right idea to strike.

Since your story will be more organized, the flow will be better too and the events will make sense, the public will be more prone to welcome the suspension of disbelief and immerse themselves in the story. People aren't stupid, they can subconsciously feel when an artist is confident and the story is strong. And once they feel it, you win. The public is yours now, you can guide it into your world and show your vision as you intended. And people will let you do it, because they know they're in good hands.

This is what I experienced too, the more I progressed with my listening. There was a lot of care behind every word, the lyrics kept explaining and expanding the plot and everything showed the confidence of an author who knows what he is doing and how to do it.

And there's nothing better for a story, than a confident author.

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Clear elements despite the ambiguity

Even if the foundation of CCCC is very simple, the story is enriched by a ton of ambiguities and things purposely left very vague. They may be better explained when/if Volume 2 comes out in the future, they may be left open to interpretation forever. It doesn't really matter: having a full understanding is good, but leaving everything behind a veil of mystery is a good choice as well. It depends on Mr. Jash's choice - and if my previous point wasn't clear enough, I trust this guy's choices.

However, despite the ambiguity, I also really appreciated how there are a lot of extremely clear elements in this story, starting from some events, to specific details of the main characters involved.

Some examples?

Heart tried to shoot/kill/destroy Mind

Heart's breakdown is due to something love-related

The whole series of events is stuck in a loop

Mr. Jash threatens suicide if the parts of himself don't reconcile

Mr. Jash frequently talks about how he keeps making covers of songs others made before him

And what about the details? For example, we know that every character has a specific set of elements associated with them:

an object: a blindfold (Heart), a crown (Mind), a trident (Soul)

a name: Artemis/the moon/Juno (Heart), Apollo/the sun (Mind), Atlas (Soul)

a color: black+purple (Heart), blue+white (Mind), gray+red (Soul)

And those are all elements we get from the songs and they get stuck with you, while you progress with your listening.

Again, this is a very clever choice: considering everything is open to interpretation, having some clear elements serves as "anchor points" in a sea of ambiguities. By doing that, the listeners won't get lost in a maelstrom of possibilities, but they will keep being guided down a clear path - the one traced by the main points of the album (breakdown, fight, reunion).

Also, having some fixed elements keeps everyone's attention too: some people might like to get lost in pure ambiguity, but most lose interest in a too-vague story. Even if the author had a clear plan, if everything is too obscure, people will inevitably think: "It's incomprehensible, so the author had no idea what they were doing" and ditch the story entirely.

Mr. Jash handled the ambiguity aspect very well, by balancing the obscurities with the clear elements. And this proved, once again, how clear, strong and detailed his vision is.

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Favorite character?

Ooof, that's hard.

Each character has a specific personality and that alone proves how carefully Mr. Jash planned every element related to them.

Heart is sad, desperate, apathetic, prone to self-pity, sick and tired of everything. But he's also strong enough to try and oppose Mind out of fear of what he could do. He tried to attack someone as powerful as him and take him down, just to preserve the Soul and save their vessel.

And that proves he's not weak at all: he's a lot more powerful than he seems. And, as he said, he's not a child: he felt Mind could've been a threat, so he took the matter into his own hands and tried to find a solution.

And it makes sense his solution was so drastic, because it was dictated by feelings. Because the Heart is influenced by feelings. It's perfectly coherent with the kind of character he is.

Same goes for Mind: he's cold, harsh, a threatening figure because of his design/nature. He takes control of the situation, he appoints himself as the new leader, he wants to react, do something, move forward and ignore the element he sees as the weak link.

And he definitely doesn't hold a grudge towards Heart, nope nope: my bro spent a whole song saying "Look at Heart, he's an idiot". And then, if this isn't enough, he ended his song, by calling Heart "akaryocyte": which is a cell without a nucleus. Hence, a virus.

I'll admit it: this sick burn is the sickest burn that ever burned and probably the most clever insult I've ever read and that made Mind top #1 best character of the album - sorry Heart, but Mind is too sick. (Also, I am a cold logical person too, so I ended up thinking the guy wasn't so bad after all.)

Last but not least, we have Soul. And Soul is basically shut down all the time by these two motherfuckers arguing, to the point he looks more like a shadow, rather than a real character... until he decides that you know what, time to show how confident he actually is:

You must be so arrogant to think that either of you Can control The Soul so wholly When to be one whole you can't hold solely

One song was enough to show Soul's true colors. He's stronger than the other two, he's more in control than them and he's the only one able to draw a line and make an actual threat: if they do not find a way to reunite, he will kill them both.

A couple words and Soul's picture got flipped: he's not just a background voice anymore, he's the leading figure now. And if he is sick and tired, then these three are facing the real shit.

But just like the other two, Soul isn't just that and we see it in The Bidding.

Here happens something incredibly beautiful: once Heart and Mind find a way to harmonize, Soul immediately rejoices: with the impatience of a child, he asks them to do it again, "One more time, go again/No, this can't be the end". Soul, this powerful figure who threatened suicide one second ago, begs them to try again, to do it "for me", because they can finally harmonize, because "I don't know how much more I can take".

Once again, with a couple sentences, we learn how heavy this whole situation has been on Soul and how eager he is to try again, once the other two find a possible harmony.

This doesn't just show how deeply Soul has been affected by the whole situation, but also (on a higher level) how strong hope is.

Soul was ready to commit suicide: a few verses before he said this was the day "we'll tie the rope". But one small step in the right direction, despite being flawed and made out of spite and resentment, was all he needed to change his mind and drop the idea of suicide entirely.

That also proves how human Soul is. Because this is what humans feel too, especially when they play with the idea of suicide. Most of the time, this idea is the result of desperation and inability to find a way out of a situation that seems impossible to overcome. But once these people find even a teeny tiny fragment of hope, the will to live overcomes desperation and people latch to said hope, no matter how small it is. And, just like Soul did here, they try to have it again, to repeat it, to feel that spark again.

Because the will to live is always much, much stronger than the desperation that leads to suicide.

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The choice of a time loop

These three characters are stuck in a time loop: things are destined to repeat themselves. And believe it or not, but this is extremely human too - and a clever choice as well.

From a psychological perspective, Mr. Jash can "break" again anytime. Life is full of stuff and events, so... who knows? Maybe in the future, he will face another heartbreak and his Whole will break down into three once more. Or maybe it won't be because of a heartbreak: maybe something else will happen and lead to a new split, a new fight and a new reconciliation. Maybe even the lack of confidence that starts to shine in Concord is proof of a future split.

But if we think about it, the time loop works from another perspective too: a meta one.

Every time you listen to the whole album, every time to replay the songs, you are relieving the split. Every time you listen to them, Whole splits into Heart, Mind and Soul. Every time you trace their history, they split, fight and reconcile.

In other words: every replay is a new loop, a loop in which these characters are stuck - not just because of their humanity, but because they're characters and this is their story. They cannot escape from it, because that's their entire world.

I don't know if Mr. Jash thought about that while making this album... but he gave me this thought and that's just another proof of what I said at the beginning of this post: if a story is very well made, everyone can find a message inside it. And I'm sure you will find something too.

EDIT: You will find the whole analysis of CCCC Vol. 1 starting from HERE

(How about a coffee? ☕)

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[dammn-dean]

I saw that your requests were open and YAY!!!! I am such a sucker for Ghost and an injured reader and would love to read anything you tossed our way <3

Thank you so much for the request! I hope you enjoy this 🖤

Stitches

Pairing: Ghost (Simon Riley) x Female Reader

Words: 1800+

Warnings: Reader has a crush on Ghost, reader doesn't like getting stiches, medic!Reader, war inaccuracies, blood, probably out of character

“And you’re sure it’s okay?” You ask looking up at your Lieutenant. 

“It’s fine, Doc.” Was all he gave. 

You sigh as you finished wrapping gauze around the fresh stitching you did on Ghosts forearm. You reminded the team 100 times you were in no way a Doctor, so the nickname Doc didn’t make much sense, but you gave up arguing a long time ago. Accepting your role as “Doc” for the team. 

You were knelt in front of him, as he sat on some random bucket you had found. You were almost certain that it would crumble under his weight, but it was still holding strong. 

You gently ran your thumb over the seam of the bandage, it was already sealed but you always liked to give small reassuring touches after helping one of the boys. Especially with stitching. They all say that your stitches are the best, and don’t hurt but if you are being honest… there’s nothing more you hated than getting stitches. 

Your eyes lifting from the bandage to his deep amber eyes, as beautiful as ever. His eyes held yours, unblinking causing you to clear your throat and quickly stand. You were desperately hoping you didn’t look at him as pathetically as you felt. Yes… you were sweet on Ghost, and also yes it is getting harder to cover up. But you would never admit your silly little crush on your lieutenant out loud. 

You busied yourself packing your supplies back up. Feeling the warmth on your cheeks from the minimal interaction with Ghost. 

“Thanks,” he muttered. He shoved his sleeve back over the bandage before standing to head outside. 

It was day 3 of a week-long intel mission. You’ve run into a few hostile here and there, but luckily nothing major. This last little skirmish ended with the hostile dying almost immediately, but he left a mark on the lieutenant before death. A small knife had barely grazed Ghost during a small altercation. You had to practically bed for him to allow you to give him stitches. 

“We head out in 5!” Price orders for the doorway. 

You nod as you strap your med-pack into its spot. You toss the trash over into a corner of the room that you were currently using as a small stopping spot to recoup before heading back to the mission. You grab your rifle and sling it over your shoulder as you head outside to join the team. 

——————————————————

Well everything couldn’t have stayed going smooth you suppose. That’s how you find yourself bleeding from your thigh, GSW. It hurts like hell. You couldn’t take a moment to inspect it, even if you did it wouldn’t help the pain right now. You were trying your best to keep up and provide cover fire for the rest of the team. 

It was chaos, hostiles everywhere, most have been eliminated at this point. But there were more up ahead. Specifically where you needed to end up for intel. 

Comms were as clear and concise as ever, Soap and Ghost were to the direct left of you planning their attack. While Gaz and Price have already pushed forward, inside the buildings as they were clearing a path for the rest of you. 

You were trying your best to keep your whimpers to yourself. Reminding yourself that this is what happens when you decide to become a field medic for the SAS. 

Ghost called your name over the comms, not grabbing your attention the first time. Which caused him to panic. Eyes searching for you to his right, and once he sees you he lets out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. He called for you again, this time you heard him. 

“Yes LT? Sorry.” You held your voice as steady as you could manage. 

“Just making sure you’re alive,” he responded as deadpan as ever. 

You let out a small laugh, “Sorry to disappoint, but I am alive. For now.” 

He continued comms, gesturing the plan of attack for him and Soap. Commanding you where to shoot, and you can only do what is asked of you at this point. 

You are barely keeping up, but you are doing your best. Luckily the 141 are the best of the best, before too long all incoming hostiles are eliminated as you enter the room where the intel is supposed to be. 

Ghost and Soap beelined for a laptop, ghost typing away as Soap looks over the screen. Gaz was stationed outside, ensuring no unforeseen enemy soldiers showed up. Price was in a room, on the phone probably calling for exfil. 

You let the guys get to whatever it is they needed to do, you used their distraction as an away to inspect our injury. Slowly you backed into a wall to help lower yourself to the floor. Blood was everywhere making it hard to see the extent of the damage, you ripped the pant leg as much as you could to survey the wound. After gently feeling around you confirmed the bullet grazed the outside of your thigh. There was a chunk of flesh missing but it seemed to miss bones and any major arteries, great news. 

You tugged your rifle up and off of you, tossing it to the side. The noise causes Ghost to look in your direction. 

“Fuck,” Ghost grumbled your name. 

He slid the laptop that he was typing away at to Soap, quietly telling him to keep gathering the intel. Mission was almost complete. 

Ghost was by your side in seconds. “You didn’t think to tell us you were shot?” He huffed. 

“I’m managing,” you whispered with a small smile. Letting your head fall into the wall behind you. 

Ghost could see how much blood you have lost, from the fact most of the left pant leg was stained red from blood. ‘How long ago were you shot?’ he thinks to himself, upset that you didn’t say anything. Right now he just needed to stop the bleeding. He snagged the med-pack from your side, laid it on the ground and started rummaging through it. 

You let your eyes fall close, which of course worried Ghost.

“Stay with me, yeah?” He spoke gently, but firm. “This is going to sting… sorry,” he apologizes before cleaning the area as best as he could. He was just pouring the antiseptic through the hole in your pant leg, cleaning the wound while simultaneously removing some of the blood. 

You grit your teeth and before you know it he is done. Ghost did his best to be gentle while he checked the area. “Not too bad, yeah?” He questioned, pulling his eyes from your leg to your half opened eyes.

“Bullet grazed me pretty badly, but no major damage” you explained weakly. “Lots of blood loss.” 

“Looks like it,” Ghost affirmed. He tugged his gloves off, tossing them to the left of your injured leg before pouring antiseptic on his hands. 

That definitely caught your attention. “What are you doing??” You questioned as urgently as possible while being in your state. 

“You need stitches,” Ghost explained like it was obvious. 

“I think I will be okay,” you reassured him. “Just hand me some gauze and I’ll wrap it myself.” You went to reach for the med-pack. 

Ghost let out an exasperated sigh, stopping your outreached hand. Gently grasping it into his own. 

“Look at me love.” 

Eyes almost popping out of your head at the term of endearment. They landed on his, soft as you have seen them under the skull mask. 

“It’ll be alright, yeah?” He gave a curt nod. “I may not be as good as you giving stitches, and it may hurt a little… but I promise to be as gentle as I can. ‘Kay?” Ghost spoke softly to you, leaving you no choice but to believe him. 

You felt your throat tighten, but let out a small “Okay”. He let his thumb brush softly against your knuckles for probably a moment too long. Especially in your state, it felt like a lifetime. Your eyes closed at the gentle touch, causing him to think you were fading. 

“Eyes on me.” Your lieutenant demanded. 

You gently opened them to meet his yet again, small smile on your lips. 

Ghost pulled his hand from yours before reaching in your pack for scissors. Use them to gently cut a little bit more of your pan leg away.

You couldn’t even keep track of how many stitches you have given in your day, but it never made it any easier on you. There’s something about the sensation of getting stitches yourself that you can’t move past. 

You were shaking in anticipation, Ghost could see your fingers trembling from your lap. 

“Who would have thought, our Doctor doesn’t like getting stitches?” 

“Well I’m not a doctor… just a field medic Ghost,” you stated. “And yes... I hate getting stitches.” 

“Hasn’t even been two hours since you stitched up my arm, no problem.” He said rather matter of fact.

“Yes, I can give them no problem, I just hate getting them.” You felt the tips of your ears warm, feeling embarrassed. 

“It’s okay Doc,” he reassures you with a gentle hand on your bicep. “I should have protected you better, yeah?” 

You furrowed your eyebrows at that. “What do you mean?” 

“What kind of lieutenant lets his medic get shot?” He questions, tilting his head. 

Your heart sped up at that. Hearing him call you HIS medic, touched you more than it should. 

“You are the best LT… accidents happen,” you reassured him. “Now hurry up and do this before I change my mind.”  You attempted to joke. 

“Yes ma’am,” he replied. You must be borderline delirious, because you swear you hear his voice lit up like he was smiling.

Ghost is anything but a liar, he did try his best to be gentle but it still hurt like hell. You hated every second of it. Finally breathing out an air of relief as he started to wrap bandaging around your thigh. 

“Did good love,” Ghost cooed. Once your thigh was wrapped up enough to his liking. He gently ran his thumb over the seam of the bandage, mimicking your motion from earlier. The only difference was his soft touch on your thigh felt a way more intimate than intended. 

The blood loss, soft touches and sweet voice Ghost was putting you in an odd headspace. 

“Thank you…” you whispered. His amber eyes holding yours, his thumb inching off the bandage until it just barely touched the sensitive skin of the inside of your thigh. Your breath hitches and you swear you can see Ghost’s chest rise and fall a little heavier than usual. 

“Aye, Doc! Are you good to walk?” Soap asked as he closed the laptop. “Got what we needed, let’s go.” 

Ghost ripped his hand from you and stood immediately. His arm held out to you, to help you off the floor. 

“Let’s get you home, Doc.” 

Thank you for reading! Please let me know if you enjoyed it, and let me know if you have any ideas or requests.

[lxmelle]

Just some thoughts on the observable pairs we see - satosugu and itafushi. Not really an analysis or anything - just sharing my observations. Blabbing as usual. I’m sure I’ll miss something, so feel free to comment or reblog!

Word vomit under cut (please be warned: I did say I wanted to blab ;_;)

I shared a more concise version on X but I guess I wanted to elaborate in a stream of consciousness style.

So here I am. Here you are. Feel free to click away if you’re get bored 🤓

There are parallels between Gojo & Geto and Yuji & Megumi; however, they’re inherently different people. I came across some tweets rethinking the last words in jjk 0, saying things like: this is how stsg should’ve done it, etc.

Yeah, I do get it... just... I just think they’re different people within a different set of circumstances. Could it have been different? Sure. But if they could have a chance to re-do something - at what point would one pick? How would that even guarantee the best outcome? No Toji? Haibara doesn’t die? Gojo admits he is lonely? Or Geto admitting he is lonely?

Mind you, they learnt about love through their separation... How would those lessons have been learnt? There would be no guarantees of Teacher AU being a reality. It would be nice, but that would be straying from the story that has been masterfully - albeit painfully littered with ANGST - written by Gege Akutami.

It is enough for me that Gojo and Geto reconciled at the end of their lives. Salvation. Being together for what could be eternity (for as long as they chose to stay) in 236 is, for me, already a beautiful bittersweet love story. Especially after all they’d been through. Anyway. My point is... context matters. I don’t really enjoy discourse over who did it better. They had what they had. They made the most of what they had. And the tragedy is what is relatable and is beautiful too. So once again, they’re unique characters within a setting that is different.

Their bonds are therefore, by extension, also very different, although there are similarities. I don’t want to engage in debates over which is superior - that’s not my point, intention or interest. They’re different and appreciable within their own uniqueness.

Friendship is friendship, and love is love, after all. But even within the expression of affection and love, our individual needs and/or methods of expressing such emotions will differ.

I think to consider themes and what insights we can gain from these two… We have to look at their situations in its entirety. Gojo, Nanami, and others from that generation learned about the necessity to protect the youth.

So I think: compared to what Yuji and Megumi had, it seems as if what Gojo and Geto had (in terms of emotional safety and intimacy) were with each other - and it was somewhat lacking due to their own individual limitations. They had no other significant persons to speak of - at least, for certain, for Gojo. Since we don’t know Geto’s history aside from how he had human parents and he was scouted <- But more on this later.

What Yuji and Megumi had was by no means adequate, I don’t think, but at least from what we can infer from Gojo and Geto, it was more than what they had. Not only because the adults within the sorcery world like Yaga, Nanami, Gojo, Shoko (perhaps?), and Ino were more involved than whoever else were teachers during Gojo & Geto’s time - but Yuji had gramps and Megumi had Tsumiki who offered the a glimpse of what familial love is.

They had some form of a secure bond in another person to offer a sense of security and inherent worth. Megumi lesser than Yuji, but this is also why we see him as an avoidant-ambivalent kind of person who is also much like his father who grew up emotionally deprived and rejected. His sense of worth came from being independent and aloof despite being emotionally and psychologically deep (and parched for compassionate & authentic human connection).

The school itself seemed to have more teachers and fellow students. Possibly fewer curses due to Geto’s active efforts for 10 years to amass 6k for the Night Parade. Furthermore, more sorcerers may mean fewer student casualties (fewer deaths like Haibara’s) and improved manpower to counter curses. And when it came to Yuji’s time, not only was he personally rather resilient, he had companionship with Nobara, Megumi, Todo, Choso... that bordered on familial love and likely assisted with maintaining his sanity when faced with the gruesome cruelties he witnessed & endured.

And circling back to Geto: We don’t know what Geto had growing up, but for him to be that emotionally attached to Gojo, and that way inclined to immediately rise to fury (at the abuse of the girls + having been asked to kill them) and seek to avenge, protect and become a parent in his teens - can can assume he was somewhat parentified himself. Meaning, he likely learned the need to play this role during his formative years - likely him childhood.

He felt highly responsible for everyone and his personality was as such where he took things very seriously & earnestly. The parallel was drawn between him and Yuta - the original “parallel pairing” from jjk 0. The world he was shown was far too cruel; especially for someone who felt the weight of the world on his shoulders and didn’t know how to share it with someone who he probably saw Gojo as shouldering it in his own way. The perfectionist that was Geto who tried to live sincerely and be a role model ended up falling through a gap, leaving him with no choice but to force himself to keep living towards some kind of a redemptive goal, within a punishing life consuming vile curse after curse (his only source of stress), to either succeed a crazy dream, or die trying to Gojo’s hand. But he remained true to himself - Geto lived for others. He was only ever shown to be selfish with one thing: Gojo. (Don’t follow me: It won’t be bad to die by your hand. I’m envious.)

They had no capacity - knowledge, experience, or language to reconcile their differences. It wasn’t as if anyone showed them how to share the burden. Right? Throughout HI - did anyone offer comfort to Geto? That man was so very much like a “mum” who mops up shit and vomit without complaining. The emotional and mental burden. I wrote about this before - Gojo is masculine-coded (Yang energy). Geto is Yin. This is another parallel with Megumi and Yuji. Shadows - Yin. Yuji is kind of dazzling isn’t he? Light, heat, strength. Yang.

And Gojo? The “sheltered but forced to grow up too quickly” boy probably never knew what being nurturing love or unconditional love meant until Geto came along. Probably never thought he needed it. When touched by someone’s love and compassion like this - isn’t it natural to just react to it? To lean into it like a monkey separated from its mother, with only a warm furry surrogate to cling onto? Never thought he needed it until it was no longer there. Why? It would be enough to inflict some kind of an identity crisis for someone like Gojo Satoru. How could someone NOT want him for his strength?! For the first time Gojo Satoru probably felt a vulnerability he could not bring himself to eliminate.

With a background like theirs: It’s no wonder what they developed was a form of codependency. They complemented one another in so many ways - it was effortless and natural. Both strong, both intrigued by each other, could keep up with conversations, engage in mischievous cheekiness, etc.

They almost/probably(?) completed one another - but of course, what fulfils a person cannot just be one other person alone. Especially as a monster like Gojo Satoru with a thirst for fulfilment of his powers and someone like Geto Suguru who needed to have a deep meaning and purpose in life.

Think about a sportsperson and a philanthropist, respectively. Neither should be expected to concede to the other and be forced to be satisfied with the other alone. It doesn’t and shouldn’t work that way.

The respect and love they had for each other was profound. It was beyond themselves. So they did their best to support each other without an open conversation in the 10 years - just like a quiet love. Apart from each other. Despite the time and distance, their selfishness and possessiveness for each other was also telling of their twisted love - it’s crazy exclusivity. Geto calling Yuta a womaniser simply for healing/having a friend in Maki and then processing his love for Rika? That still makes me chuckle. As much as Gojo liking dogs (source GIGA character book) because Geto was once mistaken for Takeru the dog. 😂 unbelievable. Other examples: I’ll die to your hand. If you were there I’d be satisfied. Hm. Yeah. Crazy exclusivity. Almost at the expense of themselves...

Anyway. In terms of bonds: The codependency between Gojo & Geto is both a positive & negative. Maybe a byproduct of their generation & lack of emotional support within that time. The title as the strongest was a burden to Gojo & Geto (together and individually) that was different to that of what Yuji and Megumi carry respectively. So the context, era, setting, etc. would’ve shaped them differently too.

It’s also worth remembering that Megumi’s level of self importance, like Yuji, is not like that of Gojo or Geto who carried the weight of huge responsibility from a young age. Their bond was also therefore a little bit more twisted comparative to what Yuji and Megumi have.

And despite the short time together, we do see a the beginnings of preciousness between them with Yuji being determined to at least reach Megumi with a conversation in his fight with Sukuna - despite the insane power difference.

It’s absolutely mind-blowing when I think about this teenager going head to head with this old fart who is on the level of a calamity and has taken countless lives. And earlier on, soulful yet apprehensive Megumi not wanting someone compassionate like Yuji to die. Even making a request with Gojo to do something about it. Like a sense of inner knowing that the other was someone special and worth protecting. Yin is also associated with intuition.

They also underwent transformation where “if you die I’ll kill you” is now replaced by a different dialogue spurred on by Megumi’s honest narrative of the simple pleasures of living… and the devastation of his very down to earth/humble dreams being dashed and Yuji’s heartfelt response that showed acceptance and love beyond himself for Megumi’s plight. It was really moving. The power of such a love and the capacity of Yuji to grow as he did. Perhaps it was also because he was given the ingredients (love, faith, friendship, belief, resolve, etc.) to nourish him whenever he faced adversity. I mean, resilience is about growing from “trauma” and overcoming the tendency to hide which can result in becoming brittle (therefore weak).

Anyway. They’re like Gojo & Geto on a speedrun. But that is not the only difference… The forcible nature of having their bodies & wills violated - taken over as vessels for Sukuna- used to commit crimes against their desires - is something they share. A point of reference that can lend itself to relating to one another. It stimulates protectiveness. Compassion & connection.

Surely a common enemy changes things? Gojo & Geto could not see eye to eye when it came to it. Timing wasn’t on their side. Almost as it lateness was a theme. It was difficult to be vulnerable to one another. It almost mimics real life generational differences. They existed in a different world. When a common enemy is present, it is normal to rally together. Once again, their roles were different. Stronger than their sensei. Their expectations will be different as a result. Tengen requested their assistance.

Were the younger generation shielded from such burdens? I’d say so. Those on the frontlines within the school probably also changed (a little) after Geto defected, especially with Gojo using his influence to save and protect his students. We saw how Yaga reflected on his regrets as a teacher, relating to Gojo who opted to be a teacher too.

I think it was horrendous how nobody really noticed or anticipated that Geto would struggle the way he did. It was left to a peer (Gojo) we had no personal resources to support Geto in his own youth. It didn’t make sense. There was a lot lacking, as we know. It was a different time with someone to shield the young sorcerers to some degree. There was already a “strongest” (Gojo) when they were born.

Further, Gojo did his best to offer the kids something different - with Megumi having a different option to the Zenin & Nanami’s involvement with Yuji.

Their loneliness have subtle differences, so Gojo wasn’t lonely (in 236) with the companionship of others after being taught how to connect with people by Geto, but he still needed Geto to feel fully satisfied.

I think that’s why Geto said he was envious, because he assumed after hearing those words that Gojo was fully satisfied - eventhough his last words to Geto must have implied that Geto was important to him. Geto had a void that only Gojo could fill but he was, as ever, conceding enough in his love for Gojo to say “as long as you’re satisfied I’m relieved for you.”

Gojo corrected him by telling him he still needed him to feel fully satisfied. Implying it was something only Geto could fulfil. Gojo’s heart grew to accommodate his students and everyone but the shape in his heart of Geto was for Geto to fill.

Similarly for Geto, when he defected, he also wore the Gojo kesa like a lingering connection (longing/codependency). He did not feel he could smile as sincerely as he once could after he committed the crime and had to leave his best friend’s side to pursue the only option left.

Their love was somewhat twisted in nature, as it blessed/saved & cursed them equally. They needed other things to fulfil them but their bond was irreplaceable.

I’ll say it again: a partner’s place isn’t replaceable by students, children, friends, etc. Especially if it was someone you truly love. You can grow around the grief but the shape left behind by that person is still the same shape of that person.

Another way I conceptualise it is how they feel that the other completes them. On their own they feel incomplete. Lacking. Therefore to Gojo, Geto was a part of him. So he would feel incomplete (as a person) without Geto - within this kind of codependent bond.

It was noticed by others like Shoko who pictured them as a pair who seemed like nothing could come between them. A pair who she could never fall in love with individually, or offer to one what the other offered... (love, of course) but she was there. Shoko was never one to shoulder the burden of strength and the involvement it entails, but shouldered the entirety of having to witness passively (helplessly) from the sidelines. This was symbolic of their roles. Fighter versus medic. Gojo & Geto in a world of their own. They were the strongest. Somehow this role mattered to them. What a burden of responsibility that could erode their human nature. Don’t you think?

Back to parallels: With Yuji & Megumi, their relationship is younger. Despite the year between them the apprehensive Megumi already trusted Yuji so much that he considered him a brother on the same level as his sister. He’s a good judge of character. I always enjoyed how perceptive Megumi was.

With the loss of Tsumiki, I’m sure the bond will change / deepen as he realises his value as a person (not just observer standing behind Yuji & Tsumiki) with a new reason to live/fight. Adopting the same purpose as Yuji, perhaps, for each other. We do not know how much they rely on the other for fulfilment, but I’m encouraged that their bond will be unique and rich after these life experiences. How could it not be? How could Megumi not respond to such a kind & heartfelt expression of sincerity? Because Yuji isnt asking anything of Megumi : he was very simply saying: I’ll accept you, Megumi. What a demonstration of unconditional love and compassion. Incredible. It reminded me of how Gojo found the words to say to Geto to save his soul at the end of jjk 0. But once again, lateness seems to be a theme for the older generation.

As it stands, Megumi wished to see Tsumiki with Yuji and he observed from behind. Once again his level of self importance wasn’t high. Neither was Yuji who felt he was a cog in the wheel, a sacrificial vessel, etc. until recently. Gojo and Geto grew with the notion that had set roles to fulfil as the strongest. This was true of the time. And when we think of who they had around them… each other. Gojo and Geto were very codependent so they’d imagine themselves walking together. But in the end I can see how Geto felt like he was watching Gojo from behind. And Gojo felt he watched Geto leave - twice over; the final time to his own hand. Thank goodness for 236.

So I think the relationships have parallels but they are different… I don’t think this can translate into the last words in 0. Gojo admitting he will miss Geto or that he would be lonely - would sound too much like a curse. Thematically the only thing that fits is “I love you”. But the unsaid implications for the feelings (will we meet again, loneliness, my best friend, I love you, etc.) were all hinted at.

The similarities between them as individuals are many, for example : Geto and Yuji consume curses, and I think the intimate knowledge of this helped them have empathy. Geto and Megumi manipulate shadows/curses/creatures. Gojo and Yuji are strong in constitution and cope with adversity with resilience. Further, Gojo and Yuji suffered loss of someone important and witnessed their suffering, allowing them to let go out of compassionate mercy, despite the loneliness it created for themselves. Gojo and Megumi were blessed with historically revered Cursed Techniques. Being vessels also became a parallel: Yuji and Megumi to Sukuna & Geto to Kenjaku and Gojo to Kenjaku’s technique via Yuta. In this sense, Yuji and Gojo both became vessels upon their own volition.

For someone like Gojo he may not have struggled with the loss of comrades in the past and in the future. Geto did and this was also what broke him without the support to maintain his emotional wellbeing. Yuji saw far too much tragedy within a short space of time and the difference is not only in his personality but the availability of people around him who regarded him as family - Todo, Choso, etc. Megumi is like Geto in that sense where they were selective in who they wished to save, knowing their limitations maybe, or the wickedness within their flawed humanity. But the loss of the important ones also broke them. So I think in that way they respected and admired those who could remain objective like Yuji and Gojo.

Loneliness was a given. Gojo could not ask Geto to live, & at the end of 0 Geto must have thought that someone (strong & objective) like Gojo who raised such students & could cope with the deaths of others better than he, should be allowed to keep living on a righteous path after all - so he could die with a peaceful heart knowing he was loved by Gojo even after “leaving him behind” and urged to live righteously on a different path. He also didn’t kill any sorcerers which was the group he chose to protect.

They were both lonely in life, needed each other to feel complete (codependency), so in 236 they reunited as a form of salvation. As many others have said... 236 was also like a comfort for satosugu fans because without it, 261 would’ve been even more painful.

With just 5 chapters until the end... I’m not really ready for the series to end, but I’m so grateful Gege sees that he can can finish it as he envisions. Hopefully we get a satisfying conclusion to Yuji & Megumi (and end up getting some bonus side stories or backstories).

Ah I’ve rambled far too much. All this is just my opinion / observations of course. Parallels are parallels but they don’t necessarily overlap. I’m looking forward to seeing how the relationships of the new generation will unfold.

…and not forgetting about the fate of Yuta & Rika 😣 since they go back into 0 & have similar parallels with the pairs.

Hopefully curses can save people’s souls too...

[lotus-lamps]

COMMISSIONS ARE OPEN! first three people get discounts :)

-> KOFI LINK <-

Discord user: cozmiccupcakes

PLEASE TAKE THE PRICES WITH A GRAIN OF SALT!!! even i'm starting to disagree with them now. it's mostly decided by complexity of character(s) and how detailed the artwork is. i will not strictly follow the chart i provided!

its my first time doing commissions, so sorry if i mess up a lil! i didn't plan on opening them until i got a larger following, but a pal said they were interested so i decided to put this up.

text ver. only plus a more detailed description under the cut! thank you!! (i may come off as a little cold and blunt in the rules section, sorry! i was just trying to keep it as concise as possible to save space. please do not feel scared of commissioning me!!)

p.s. if you want to, please reblog! :) thank you for the help!!

WILL DRAW: ✅

OC's (if they do not belong to you, please get permission first!)

Fanart (any type of media/fandom!)

Ship art (no proships. if it makes me uncomfortable i will turn it down. <- this usually just applies to overly toxic/questionable ships. i will draw ones that i simply don't really ship for you though!)

(and yes, ship art includes OC x OC and OC x canon!)

Light gore + Body horror (not too good at this one, but i can try!)

Animals + Furries (not too good at this one either, especially furries, but i will also try!!)

WON'T DRAW: ❌

NSFW + Nudity (i can draw things that contain mild sexual humor/references, but i wont draw anything past subtle suggestivity.)

Heavy gore + Body horror

Everything else is (most likely) fair game! I will warn you that I'm not particularly good at drawing furries or mecha, but I will give it a shot :) Detailed backgrounds are also allowed! Feel free to ask about whatever, I'm totally fine with drawing most things!

(i will not be making a text version of the prices estimate, as im starting to consider it inaccurate.)

PROCEDURE + RULES:

Dm me on Tumblr, Kofi, or Discord (cozmiccupcakes)

Please try to be fairly specific with your request! no need to get too detailed, but enough for me to work with. Please also provide references if you can! If not, moodboards and text description work too.

50% payment upfront (Kofi only, USD only.)

Prices are loose and negotiable!! as i said before, i no longer particularly agree with my pricing, so it won't strictly adhere to my chart. feel free to discuss prices with me!

No full refunds once I've started. If I haven't yet, I will refund the money to you. If you would like to cancel your commission once I've begun on the artwork, I will keep the 50% you paid initially, unless I am already close to finishing. In that case, you will have to pay the other 50% as well.

I will send progress updates, which is when you can request changes. I will only change things regarding that particular stage! For instance, if I'm on the coloring stage, you can ask for changes with color, but nothing before that. I will not make any changes to the lineart. You can ask for more progress updates if you'd like!

The commission will take around a week or so to finish, more if I have other commissions due before yours. I am also a student and have other things I need to do. Please be patient! I will let you know how many people are in line before you.

Please try to pay the other 50% within a week after I finish the artwork. You cannot commission me again if I do not receive full payment!! I will be flexible with when you send me the money, but know that if it takes far too long (more than 2-3 weeks) then you will no longer be able to commission me as well.

The art still belongs to me. Do not claim it as yours. Feel free to post it on your social media, but please still credit me regardless. Non commercial use only. You cannot use my art for any sort of profit. I will provide you with a non watermarked edition, but I will post it with a watermark. I will usually post the commission art I make, but feel free to tell me if you are uncomfortable with me doing so and I won't do it! I will usually also say who commissioned me, especially if it contains their oc's to give credit, but if you prefer to stay anonymous please let me know as well!

That's all!! I apologize for writing so much, I just wanted to make sure everything was clear :D Thank you!!

[notquitejiraiya]

9 Years

Well, here we are again. Back to spew some nonsense you could’ve done without about fic writing and otherwise. As a small introduction to myself, if you miraculously come across this before anything else I’ve done online: hiya, I’m Becks. When I was fifteen years old I decided that I was going to create a Naruto specific blog to post fanfiction on and 9 years later, I’m still here.

This is only my third reflection of those 9 years, the first and second of which you can find linked respectively, but it’s the 24th of September, and so here I am, ready to continue a tradition set by the wonderful @unioncolours of documenting her years in fandom. Sink your teeth in below the cut off if you so wish. If not, have a wonderful day ♥️

Before I talk about myself, a little thank you to her, to Bex. Two days ago, she posted what I consider to be her most powerful reflection yet, and I command the lot of you to read it, feel it, and walk away demanding you treat yourself and others kindly for this year and all those to come. Her heartfeltness and honesty is something all of us should learn from, and it is an honour to share my forename, space, fandom, world with her. Thank you, Bex, for all you do, here and away.

Now, the first thing I must address about this Rebecca here is “job no1”, as I called it in last year’s recap. “Job no1” was to become more concise.

It is safe to say that I did not get hired for “job no1.” Not yet, anyway. Perhaps on the future. Maybe. We’re still in the interview stages, and you know how many rounds these things take.

To set the tone of this past year, I will admit that it is the 24th of September, not just when I post this reflection, but as I write it. As mentioned, I have only written two recaps of this sort in my fandom career, both of which were written ahead of time and posted on the day with little stress. This one is being bashed out when the sun is already setting, and time is running out.

Time is something that has fascinated me for years; it’s something I’ve written scientifically on, written fiction about in short spells, and something I’ve come to respect a bit more over the last year, too. It’s something I’ve especially enjoyed playing with and writing about in the one fic that I’ve published/added to this year. In Grandmaster, one of my favourite passages from the fic and one of the bits I’m most proud of involves time. But I won’t dwell on that. Grandmaster — or GM, as I affectionately call it — will get its moment later on. For now, let us focus still on time.

I’ve had a strange amount of it this past year. I wouldn’t say I’ve had too much, nor particularly little, on average, but I certainly feel as though I have. Even if not, it’s slipped away from me, and this year that feels rather damning. You see, as you might know, I live in Finland at the moment. I say ‘at the moment’ because this time next year, when I’m writing my next recap, that will no longer be true. I already no longer live 40 minutes from the front door of my best friend — moving in the summer upped it to almost an hour — and by next year I won’t be able to jump up, hop on a train and see her when the mood (and life) suits. Many rather saddening things have hammered home time to me since last September, but even considering that one thought makes time seem rather fleeting. I need to treasure it until the summer, and so forgive me if my time at my laptop is a little less than it once was.

More relevant to you reading this, perhaps, is the amount of this year that I have been able to spend writing. Without examining the statistics, I feel like I’ve barely written this year. I know that that is ultimately not true; I have made good progress with GM, and have written snippets of works to come. But I still feel as though I haven’t had the time in year 9 that I would’ve liked, and even less than the small amount I dared to expect.

In the time I did spend writing, though, I largely spent it on GM, so it only feels right that I dedicate a sizable portion of this recap to that fic.

I don’t think it’s an exaggeration to say that GM has consumed me. I view the world through a different lens having conceptualised, written, and frankly breathed the world in that story. I see situations in the real-life chess, and I imagine where that might happen in the GM-timeline, were it there. I see the people I envision when the scene play out like theatre performances in my head, and I think about GM, even when it’s totally irrelevant. Even just a face. I hear songs, and I think about GM. I watch movies, and I think about GM. I sit on the bus or god forbid the train, it rains or it shines, and I think about GM.

I have never, in my life, felt a story in my bones like this. When it ends, which this year it certainly must, I will cry. Don’t get me wrong, I won’t cry because it’s over — I will cry because I will remember all the countless hours that have gone into not just writing but thinking about this fic. It is a part of my daily life and has been for such a long time now. I don’t go an hour, let alone a day, without thinking about it. It has been in progress for over 2 years — during every every wrapup I have written, it has been in progress — and 2 nights ago, I finally posted a chapter, the heart of which I first sent to my friends almost as long ago.

I won’t spoil the contents, as I’m sure many of you may not have read it, but I’ll admit now that I cried as I went to sleep after posting it. It took me three months to be happy with that chapter. Three months. That long to accept a chapter that I knew I had the core, important part of set and the was happy with since almost two years ago. It felt and still feels ridiculous to me. Even three days ago I felt like, surely, I had forgotten how to write. Or maybe I just had never known how to write in the first place. I had lost my touch, at the very least, the very spark that made anyone read more than the first paragraph. How in the world could it be that I manage to write these core lines two years ago, when GMverse was Strangers and only Strangers, yet having honed the voice of this story for so long, I now couldn’t write a single good word?

I felt like such a failure. I felt like there was no way I was ever going to finish it, and if I did, I was sure I wouldn’t be happy with it. But I told myself that I was going to post the fic on Majsasaurus day and so I said, “Fuck it,” to my assignments and I finished it.

I was late hour, but I almost did it. When I read it back before posting, I cursed myself for all the clunky sentences and obnoxious descriptions — which may not even exist, I don’t know — but I still pressed post at the end, and I immediately felt proud of it.

It’s incredible when you realise you can do that. I think perhaps it’s a skill that doesn’t make sense to people when they first start writing. Not giving a fuck, that is. I know I was guilty of it for a very long time, but there’s no point in being a perfectionist, especially if you’re trying to write about realistic people. Real people are so far from perfect that you’re fucking kidding yourself if you waste your time on such things. Year 9 has been a lot about that: settling. Settling for grades in uni I once would’ve beaten myself up over. Settling for a sentence that I know could be worded better, in theory, but I’m not yet the writer who can word it that way. I’ll meet her one day, maybe. But before I get to, I have to mould her. I won’t do that without writing more and more.

In any case, in the words of Shikamaru in my own fic: “They’re just words. They don’t mean anything unless you let them.”

In line with that thought, I want to thank you all for your theories and thoughts and engagement with GM. The fact so many of you have managed to find some meaning or emotion in it that matters to you specifically, even if that differs between people, amazes me daily. It makes me emotional and humbles me and all manner of things I could write an entire reflection on.

It is on that note that, I would like to extend a particuar mention to @twnj who has brought to life so many scenes in GM with her beautiful artwork as well as created so many fun headcanons for outside of it. I am so lucky to have met and to know you, and it is a pleasure being rambly with you, my dear.

I also would like to shout out @backgroundcharacterno5 for creating one of most incredible things I have ever seen by way of this comic. You brought that scene to life more beautifully than I ever could’ve imagined even in my own head, and I cannot thank you enough for thinking of GM at all. Thank you.

And finally, the book club. Learning of your existence blew my fucking mind, and it continues to. I refer to you this way because I do not know exactly how many of you there are, but I bloody love you all, even those of you I have never spoken to. The comments I received from you and from every reader, even if I am shit at replying to them, move me and inspire me endlessly. Your analysis and theories and reactionary comments thrill me and make my heart sing. So thank you. So much.

With GM this past year, I feel I have reached a point as a writer that I never expected to, and am endlessly proud of. I never expected people to be so engaged with something I wrote — I thought I was a one- or maybe two-trick pony with song inspired banter-filled one shots and depressing britishisms. But this year showed me that that isn’t true. Do I have the widest range? No, and I’ve made peace with that. But does that devalue what I make? No. I love it. I have fun making it. And as an incredible, frankly unexpected cherry on top, so do some of you. So thank you for that. You’ve ticked so many of my author bucket list dreams in a single year.

As I have certainly mentioned in past ‘blog’-type posts, there are elements of GM which are personal to me, but in the coming year, I will introduce to you what I consider my most personal fic yet. While I may lend things I have overheard or observed, I rarely let myself into my own work too heavily. I value the power of looking over a shoulder, and do try my best to do that. But I rarely force my shoes on a character.

Piano Man (affectionately referred to by myself and those closest as GMJ) will not be like that either. Not on purpose. It will not be a 1-to-1 retelling of my life, the opinions and feelings and experiences within it will by no means be my own, but it will be an expression of things I love and know more directly than before.

GMJ will be set some 20+ years after Strangers, so I am still not escaping this universe I’ve built for myself (not that I want to escape it). It will follow one of my most beloved characters in Shikadai, and how he meets someone he really ought to have known his whole life, but by chance, has not: Inojin.

Any writing I have done that is not GM this year has been ShikaJIn. I know that many of you who follow me, do so for ShikaTema. I wonder if there are even so many of you now that joined for GM that ‘CHESS’ and ‘Cloud Nine’ are now irrelvant in my list of past fics. But regardless of what you’re here for, and whether you ship them now or not, I hope that you’ll stick around for GMJ. It is not a ship fic anymore than GM is, and I like to think that perhaps you trust me by now to tell you a story you might enjoy.

Besides GMJ I have dabbled in a couple of other potential AUs, the most promising of which is a wartime au, which came about after my dear friend Bex suggested that @clumsydragon28 and I read a book she was reading: In Memoriam. IM was one of the most fun reading experiences I have ever had, and I cannot reccomend reading with your friends enough. The joy is something I can’t quantify, and I will treasure that experience forever.

I myself have read more books this year than I have in years. I haven’t read so many fics, which saddens me, but I am so pleased that there is space in my life for fiction and stories again besides thsoe in my own head.

One of the books of this year will no doubt come when I return home to England for Christmas, because last year, darling Barb sent me (and Bex) a goodie box from across the Atlantic. In it, she placed the US edition of my favourite book: The Beach. It will get loved and cherished this year with its first physical read. I promise.

There are so many other things that I could say here, but ultimately, I don’t know that I have the time. All I can say is that I am so grateful for the people of this fandom space, old friends and new, and even those that have not shown me kindness this past year — you have hardened me to realise I am worth more than I thought.

The next recap I write will mark a decade of notquitejiraiya. That, in itself, seems absurd. But I am certain that I go into it lucky, and grateful, and really really fucking inspired.

Thank you, all, for another notquitejiraiya year. May the next be sweet and full of more frequent updates than the last! ♥️

(PS - I’ll try to be more consice next year, but I’m not making any promises)

[otaku553]

I recall you mentioning once that you worked in a lab, do u have any advice for getting to that point? I want (read: NEED) to work or intern at a lab but I don’t rlly know what to ask the ppl running them lol

If I can help I'd be glad to!! Full disclaimer though, I am an undergrad junior and I go to school at a pretty reputable research institution so I may not be that much help because I've been pretty lucky and privileged to have direct access to many opportunities. If you're not a high schooler or undergrad student, my advice might not even apply to you at all. This got quite long, so I'll put this under a read more. If you have any more questions, feel free to dm me!

I don't know what your research interests are or what level of schooling you're at so I'll try my best to be broad. You're right that it's best to directly ask the person running the lab, the principal investigator (PI). Even if there's an official application process for fellowships or summer research grants or programs, usually already having reached out to a mentor is either a requirement or strongly encouraged. This applies for both university labs and I think rseearch agency labs like NIH, though I will say, a lot more of my advice will apply to labs at universities.

Understandably, though, it's really difficult to write that email, and quite disheartening that usually you'll need to write multiple emails to different PIs before even getting a reply back. One way to deal with this is to find a template online to copy, because word for word these emails usually go

"Hello [so and so], My name is [so and so] and I'm [brief introduction]. I'm interested in [what research this lab does] and was wondering if you have any positions available in your lab for [period you want to do internship during]. If you need them, my resume and transcript are attached. Thank you for your time."

You can delve into more specifcs in the body but it doesn't need to be long-- I think PIs tend to be quite busy, so being concise and direct is good, as long as you're genuine about what you're interested in. It doesn't need to be an essay or multiple paragraphs or anything! I find that usually 3-4 sentences suffices. If they want to know more, they'll usually ask to meet to talk about what you're interested in.

(On a side note, my roommate has an excellent strategy for dealing with anxiety when sending an email where you recite "fuck it we ball fuck it we ball fuck it we ball" while clicking send lmao)

Now, more specifically, if you're already attending a college that has labs, and professors who are PIs of those labs, it can be useful to take a class that the PI teaches and email either while taking the class or after the class and say "this class was very interesting and i was hoping to explore [so and so] further. Do you have any openings in your lab etc." If you don't have the time to do this, just cold-emailing the lab is usually fine too, but it's good to cite a connection I think? Also keep an eye out for any presentations or seminars that might be given by grad students or professors, since going to those can be a good way to express interest.

If you're a high schooler, you won't have the immediate connection, but I think most researchers would be impressed with the initiative to reach out and have no reason to refuse help. You might have a harder time finding a paid internship as a high schooler, but even with volunteering you can definitely get a foot into the door with research experience. I think a good way to start for high schoolers is looking into local university labs and expressing an interest in their work? Or reaching out to alumni of your school to ask for general advice and or opportunities.

If you don't receive an email back, you can send a follow up in two or three days. Sometimes emails can get pushed to the bottom of the inbox before they're seen, and it's no harm to just bump it again, with a little "hello! I wasn't sure if you'd seen this email. I'd like to follow up on this." (historically, I have been very bad at this, ahha). If you receive a negative response (which is pretty unlikely I think?) you can still thank them for their time and ask for advice regarding getting into research for their field of specialty.

I hope this helps! If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask or dm me. I will try my best to be helpful :)

[choosingwhatmatters]

Goodbye, Dream

I’ve finally been able to watch the last Dream episode. This show will stay with me for a long time to come, and not only because I’m currently butchering the first credits song every time I sit down at the piano.

I enjoyed the journey of Wan and Kim. While it is true that we basically watched them not talking to each other for ten episodes, I was fascinated by how that changes them as people. How Wan clings to Kim for dear life only to find that in this state they can’t be anything to each other. How Wan undergoes therapy (I will never not celebrate this) and concludes that, while she still cannot be honest about her feelings, she will now support Kim in all of her decisions. How Wan only springs into action when she realises that Kim shares all her experiences in Dream Land. How Wan is the most adorable goofball in a relationship.

How Kim goes from holding herself back for Wan’s sake to pursuing her own dream, only to again submit to someone else’s wishes when her mother wants her to marry Marwin. How Kim, once she has committed to Wan, continues to do just that.

While I breathe for fluff and intimacy, I am glad that there is now one more show that gave its characters time to grow. I agree that the show could have been structured differently in order to be more concise and, thus, more engaging. I am, however, very glad that it exists to inspire shows to come. It’s always easy to criticise a piece of art, but CREATING art, that’s hard work and I am thankful for anyone who is undertaking it.

[waters-and-the-wilde]

fuck it okay i am once again thinking about Jet teaching Nureyev how to cook

it starts with Juno trying to teach Nureyev how to cook, because Juno can cook and Nureyev realizes he's never had the chance to learn how and wants to make a go of it. it Goes Poorly not because Nureyev is a disgrace who sets the kitchen on fire, but because between the way he is as a person and the way Juno is as a person, it's an extremely frustrating experience. Juno Can Cook but that doesn't mean he Can Teach, there are a lot of concepts that he can just take for granted because of like growing up In A House and knowing What Appliances Do. he knows how to throw together some decent meals but not how to Explain The Process and Demonstrate How It Works, 'i dunno it just does okay??'

It's a whole 'can they assemble ikea furniture together' type thing, every time they try Juno gets impatient and Nureyev gets defensive and they wind up bickering and having to troubleshoot their communication again later that evening. maybe they manage to get through making what they set out to do but Nureyev doesn't actually feel like he retained any of the knowledge to be able to do it again next time, and neither of them really enjoy the experience which is a bummer for them both in its own right.

but Nureyev as a guy who can do anything he sets his mind to is like 'nonetheless i must learn to make a breakfast for my lady love for the days when he can't get out of bed.' and he starts watching Jet, who fields most of the family dinner type meals and has a sourdough starter and ferments things. he could ask Jet if he wants help, but it's hard enough trying to learn new things and make mistakes and be bad at things in front of Juno and he's feeling discouraged enough that he does not want to deal with Jet thinking he's just ingratiating and underfoot, or bluntly picking apart everything he's doing wrong, he might actually cry okay? he's already anxious enough about Wasting Food or Causing A Fire or Damaging The Cooking Implements. but if Jet says he wants help that's fine because Nureyev is more than happy to Be Available and in the meantime he'll do his best to absorb things by proximity

Jet does not know why Ransom is hovering in the kitchen watching him cook, but if he cared to know, he would ask point blank. and if Ransom does not want to be voluntold to help with dinner, he would not hover in the kitchen. Nureyev's nefarious scheme is working, insofar as Jet does not respond to hints but he does do what he wants and he wants help with cooking dinner. Nureyev is now in a position to Ask Questions, and the brilliant thing about working with Jet is that Nureyev can in fact Ask A Stupid Question and Get A Stupid Answer concise and matter-of-fact face-value response to something that might otherwise be considered obvious. and if Jet is being facetious, he's doing a damn good job at not showing it (and also he tends to save that up for Juno)

it is still a frustrating experience because Cooking Is Very Difficult and Nureyey is Trying Very Hard and getting distracted and flustered and making just the worst jokes around someone who does not think he is even a little bit funny and is not about to bother to pretend otherwise. and there is absolutely no one better for this right now. because The Thing Is. that Jet Gets It. because he had to claw his way into 'repetition and focus; control over every part' years ago. because it is abundantly clear to him that he is not teaching Ransom How To Cook, but How To Learn New Things When Not Under Extreme Duress. because Jet Has Opinions about Contriving Surprise Factors In The Learning Process and the moment Nureyev indicates that was how he was taught, his immediate response is 'then whoever taught you that that was very irresponsible and should not have done so'

(Nureyev gets very quiet and spacey for the rest of the day and eventually Juno storms into the garage spoiling for a fight, all 'what the hell did you say to him I haven't even been able to find him for the last three hours' and Jet very gravely relays the conversation and 'it was not my intention to upset him but unless he is able to communicate why he is upset, I am in no position to address it' but Juno's just still staring at him and then he sits down and then he starts getting the big sad-eye and then he's like 'never mind Big Guy. hey completely unrelated but can I um. give you a hug?')

[legobiwan]

What is your absolute favorite gravity falls fic ? The one that completely ate away at your brain and wouldn't leave your head for days? It can be shipp-y or gen, both is fine! I'm just completely on the edge of falling headfirst into a Gravity Falls hyperfixation and I need just one good fic to tip me over the edge & you have excellent taste!

Oh boi, I think it really depends on what you are looking for! I personally really enjoy fics that don't shy away from our characters' less desirable traits, and one of the things I adore about Gravity Falls is how deep and complicated the adult characters are. Ford can be an egomaniacal asshole who will trade the world to satisfy his insecurities; Stan can absolutely be a slimy conman with Saul Goodman-levels of morals; Bill is an outright abuser, despite his total infatuation with Ford; and Fiddleford essentially leaves his wife and child for another man he can never have in the 80s, which adds archeological layers to his terrible decisions. Considering this is technically a Disney, Y7 children's show, it's pretty damn wild how complex and mature these situations are once you spend more than three seconds thinking about them.

But you asked me for my single, favorite Gravity Falls fic.

As someone who really appreciates the Hannibal levels of fuckery that is the Ford and Bill relationship, I have to say Statement Abnegation is in my top 5, probably top 3. My backup Billford (gen, but still dark) rec would be Bait & Switch, which is unfinished at the moment, but updates at pretty quick intervals. (As an aside, I should mention I only rec triangle!Bill fics, as I really am not a fan of human!Bill unless he's possessing someone for a defined purpose).

Because I can never give a single, concise answer to anything in my life (hellooo, commitment issues hahahaha) I'll also throw in my favorite sibling-fic recs. First would be By Any Other Name, which is mostly a character study of Stan, but features a lot of Ford and the extended Pines clan, as well, and doesn't shy away from the fact that both Ford and Stan are very flawed people with a metric ton of issues. Backup sibling fic is a new one I just discovered, also complete, titled Under the Ice, which explores the idea that perhaps some events are fixed points in the universe and can never be avoided. Again, it's another fic that doesn't avoid the elder Pines twins and their multitude of less-than-savory character traits, which is something I really value in Gravity Falls writing, given the ever-present threat of blorbofication, no matter the fandom.

Anyway! Long answer to a short question, I hope you enjoy at least one of these!

[bybdolan]

quick ttpd thoughts

ok so. i did listen to a leak so I had time to sit with the OG album for a while. I have not yet listened to all the Anthology tracks, but this not-doing of something is part of my album reaction. Bear with me.

First of all: I am insanely impressed with Taylor for being this raw and messy on record. More distinguished haters have said that this album once again feels like self-mythologizing, but I personally do not agree. User dancefloors had an excellent take on this: the album is emotional and messy to a degree where you feel like you should not be listening to it. At least that's how I felt.

However, that also has a downside. I find many of the lyrics, especially on the standard edition, to be unpolished or downright cringe. This rambl-y first draft type of writing might work for other artists, but I never feel like it works for Taylor. The second line of Fortnight is so awful that I was CONVINCED the leak I heard was AI, and people have talked at length about the tattooed Golden Retriever. Girl. Almost every song had an insane clunker or two hidden in it. This is not helped by what I personally (!) perceive to be a bit of a rehashing of imagery and themes that have been prominent in songwriting trends for the past few years. Killing the woman you are jealous of, Cassandra, religious imagery .... Don't get me wrong, I think the call for "originality" at al costs can be detrimental to art, but frequently with this album i felt as if lines were haparzadly chosen to fit a certain "aesthetic" that didn't mesh well with the rest of the song. Like. Nothing about "my husband's cheating. I wanna kill him." communicates any deeper emotion. (Compared to e.g. Samia's "I hope you marry the girl from your hometown and I'll fucking kill her and I'll fucking freak out.")

The introductory poem is one of the worst things i have ever read.

The thing is. I don't always do well with new releases, they are overwhelming, etc., but I listened to the first four tracks and was like "how can anybody think this is good". Which IS a hater take, and there is much I do enjoy about the album, and I am happy others like it.But with the already present repetition PLUS 15 Tracks .... it is a bit too much. I could go on and on about the repetition of words and themes that feels a bit trite (smalltown stuff, "starry-eyed", "precocious"), but I don't wanna. I wish there had been more editing, and I think I have talked at length before about how I do not like this new era of just putting out everything.

Alas. I did not click with this album and there are very few tracks i want to go back to. So Long, London is a favorite because of the concise lyrics and beautiful production, I can bop to Down Bad, but daddy I love him is fun imagery-wise, Clara/Sam/Sophia/Marcus is sad and also. A Lot., So High School, and I dig "You're not Dylan Thomas, I'm not Patti Smith, this ain't the Chelsea Hotel, we're modern idiots". The 2am tracks need more attention, but I already like Looking Into Windows (?) much more than a lot of other tracks - generally, I enjoy the more genuinely sad Joe tracks about the slow demise of a relationship much more than the fast paced high strung ones.

anything else .... well. I don't know.