#on the way home i wrote a poem
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evermorre · 1 year ago
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i knew i’d curse you for the longest time, chasing shadows in the grocery line | folklore, on the eras tour in são paulo
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bookishlyread · 1 year ago
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On the way home, I wrote a poem: Read a book with red or green on the cover
-A Council of Dolls by Mona Susan Power
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anunfortunatekinlist · 1 year ago
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To write you heart.
There are notebooks full, full of notes doodles recipes, poems; illustrations of love, ink soaked pages full of admiration. Small ink platter where Remus had pressed too hard on the quill, small in smudges where he’d dragged the sleeve of his robe over a particularly detailed sketch of Sirius in his casual clothes, a small section in the back of the book, full of pressed daisies from the daisy chain Sirius and James had made in the spring.
The notebook was soaked to the brim with Remus’s admiration, love and unrequited devotion to Sirius, a part of his heat that he allowed to be shown through intricate strokes of his quill, the script of his heart melted into the page.
And it was missing, it was not in his book bag? where he always kept it, he couldn’t find it anywhere. His heart was beating out of his chest, it was dangerous in anyone else’s hands, all his devotion was spilled into the pages and it threatened to ooze into the gossip-filled halls of Hogwarts.
He retraced his steps, carefully looking over the library and the Great Hall, seeing if he could see it on a table, or in someone’s hands.
He searched for what felt like eons for the secret part of his heart, until he finally decided to retire to bed, hoping to find the notebook tomorrow in one of his classes.
As he opens the door to the dorm, to only see Sirius, and the notebook.
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seasonalflowerr · 1 year ago
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hi! i'm here with another poem. :) this was basically an experimentation with white space and line breaks. i really liked how it came out, ESPECIALLY the structure. so! yeah! sorry the image sizing might be weird? i can't be fucked to really fix it akdsdfjs full poem transcribed below the cut.
"a step by step guide to stopping a panic attack" step one: Remember that this will not last forever. step two: Take deep breaths my lungs wheeze and shudder like a car that won’t start like they’ve been emptied of the gasoline and of the breath and of the will to keep functioning and on the phone my mom asks have you tried controlled breathing i say mom i don’t know what control feels like anymore step three: Find a peaceful spot once i read online that panic attacks can be stifled with distraction and to put ice on the inside of your wrist to confuse your brain but i forgot to fill the ice cube tray three days ago i attempt solace on the bathroom floor with fingers digging into grout and bars of soap and consider sitting in the shower so i can at least be clean step four: Smell some lavender my body is stubborn allergic to things like fresh-cut-grass or scented bath soap like arms wrapped around diaphragm squeezing like hot tea and hemp oil and body scans like blankets like hand holding or soft melody allergic to things like lavender step five: Tell someone your mom or your partner or your father or your roommate or your best friend or your therapist that says sounds like you need to verbalize so it’s off to talk to the neighbor downstairs or the dog in the park outside or the dog’s owner who asks if you need them to call someone such as an ambulance or the bottle of ibuprofen or your failing kidneys or your mother again even though it’s only been 48 hours since the last call or the hotline that will ask if you’ve tried just talking it out step six: Repeat a mantra remember this will not last forever this will not last forever this will not last forever this will not last forever this will not this will
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it2017 · 9 months ago
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Genuinely it's over forme
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feeling extremely emo about the incredibly emo poetry I used to write.
#I don't remember all the stanzas#and I don't remember the exact write.. pretty wording but...#but#When we yawn- we force a tiny bit of oxygen directly to the brain- allowing us to stay awake a split second longer#With enough air- it is possible to play a note on a trumpet so loud- and so brash- that it will splatter brain matter against skull wall.#In africa- there is a tribe that drills holes in their skulls in order to talk to God- isn't it amazing what a little bit of oxygen can do#insert stanza that was almost definitely about shooting myself in the head#'She asks me what I'm thinking about- I yawn and say 'nothing''.#I think about death the way other people think about dinner menus#which is to say... on and off throughout the day- every day.#.... truly loved to get on a stage and just be The Worst.#all my poems were about mental illness- sex- or death... and tbh half the ones about sex were about mental illness#I wrote about about bi polar once that basically like- depression was a familiar boyfriend who was terrible for you... kept you home#who never wanted you to do anything. but meant that you would never be alone. and then Mania was this exciting temptrest of a woman.#'WIth her I was all lips and fingertips'#about knowing it was wrong but still being unable to stop myself from courting her- knowing I was cheating.#and then in the end- the poem ends with a bipolar diagnosis#and I just remember Sam... looking at me and being like ???? was that about bi polar the whole time.#yes Sam. Yes Sam. I wrote about making out with mental illness whatcha gonna do about it.
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coffeeandcalligraphy · 2 years ago
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maybe making this mapo tofu will fix me
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phoenixwrites · 2 years ago
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Me towards my VQ followers: It's important not to put emotional investment in celebrity ships. They're fun to speculate and talk about, but at the end of the day, we don't know these people and only get a bare glimpse of their relationships.
Also me: *is like, really sad about Taylor Swift and Joe Alwyn's breakup*
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stylesloveclub · 2 years ago
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The way sweet nothing is a response to peace though cause Taylor’s like would it be enough if I could never give you peace? And joe said that all he wants from her is sweet nothing 🥺🥺
STOOOOOP I NEVER THOUGHT OF THIS :( THIS IS SO TRUE AND SO ROMANTIC WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH :(((
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evermorre · 1 year ago
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they whisper in the hallway “she’s a bad, bad girl” | I Can See You MV, 2023
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billsbae · 2 years ago
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todd anderson is so sweet nothing coded
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light-of-laurelin · 2 months ago
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You know that feeling when you’re on a redeye flight back to the place where you live (that you don’t really like that much but you’re tethered to anyway) from your childhood home you hadn’t visited in 25 years and you try to sleep but seeing the familiar made new and alien makes you ache down to your bones and so you cry and cry on a plane full of strangers and decide that the $10 price tag on the in flight WiFi is probably worth it to distract yourself for the next three hours but the connection is super spotty and keeps kicking you off? Yeah man.
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witchwraytohome · 1 year ago
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they tried to take you out of my voice when I still lived inside your warm embrace my emotions hold your echoes and I store you in my ribcage thank you for raising me for keeping me safe I will come back to you again
-- stairs has 2 syllables
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overstimulated-and-sad · 1 year ago
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sweetteainthesummerx · 6 months ago
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✰ sweet nothing✰
★・・・・★・・・・ ★・・・・★
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nhl masterlist !
pairing: quinn hughes x writer! reader
warnings: angst and comfort, fluff
song: sweet nothing by taylor swift
summary: 5 times Quinn knew you were the one, and the one time he let you know...
word count: 2.2 k
notes: quinn my sweet boy!! also sweet nothing by taylor swift because her love songs are so superior
★・・・・★・・・・ ★・・・・★
outside, they're push and shoving, you're in the kitchen humming
quinn pushes open the door to his apartment, exhausted. His face hurts from smiling at fans, and the triple header really, really took it out of him.
he loves his captaincy, really. he loves his boys, the leading, the responsibility. it's hard, though, to live up to all of the jostle and hassle the spotlight brings.
needless to say, the push and shove of stress has taken its toll on him, and all he needs is a hot shower and preferably 8 or more hours of sleep.
through the walkway, he hears a familiar voice, the telltale clatter of pans, a taylor swift song and the aroma of garlic and tomatoes.
you must've used his spare key he gave you.
he smiles despite himself, something warm tugging deep in his stomach.
he calls your name and immediately flushes with how breathy and needy he sounds. the last thing he wants is to scare you away.
"q!" you pop up from behind the counter, wearing nothing but one of his old shirts that drapes long over your slender shoulders and a pair of ratty sweatpants. your hair is pulled back from your make-up void face.
you've never looked more beautiful.
you make your way over while he admires you, and lock your arms around his waist, smiling up at him.
"missed you," you kiss his cheek, and he flushes again. god, why was he like this still?
the two of you have been dating for over than a month now, but he's still so easily flustered by you. maybe it's because you work with words for a living, but you're the sweetest thing he's ever seen (and tasted).
you think it's cute, and you tell him more often than not, reducing him to a puddle of a blushing mess.
he bundles you properly in his arms, kissing you properly.
you're so soft and warm under his fingers, your mouth hot and pliable.
you indulge him for a moment, savouring the time with each other. his hands wander down to your hips, gripping hard like he's afraid you'll be blown away by the wind.
a timer dings, and you pull back. he chases your lips, letting out a whine when you giggle and push gently at his broad chest.
"quinny, stop! i made you lasagna, and I don't want it to burn."
"mm, we'll order take out," he mutters into your neck, breathing in your familiar perfume.
you let out a sound of protest, finally breaking free of his hold. he follows you like a lost puppy as you set the table, plating him an extra large piece.
as he eats, you watches your kind eyes and easy smile with adoration.
the realization jars him, but settles firm in his bones: he wants to come home to you everyday.
..••°°°°••....••°°°°••..
i wrote a poem, you say, "what a mind", this happens all the time
it's the release of your latest book, and quinn watches as you engage with your fans. the biggest indigo in vancouver invited you to come do a meet and greet along with a signing.
you had spent the morning with quinn, his hands stroking through your hair to calm you down. although your other books had success, this one was your proudest piece of work yet.
quinn had been the first person to read it. he was impressed; he knew you were smart and you had a way with words that astounded him, but the whole book was like poetry.
the words flowed easy from you, as easy as breathing.
now, watching you all flushed and a little embarrassed by the attention from the mass of people who showed up, he all but glows with pride.
a young girl, maybe in her early teens, comes up to you with a wide smile and bright, glassy eyes. he can't hear well, because he's tucked near the back of the room to avoid the crowd, but she says something and your face falls.
he's ready to sprint through the crowd to get to you, but you hug the younger girl. she's crying, he realizes. you squeeze her tight, sign her book and send her off with what looks like encouraging words and another hug.
afterwards, while he drives with one hand and the other on your thigh, he asks what happened.
"she told me she's never felt more seen by anyone before. that my book told her it's okay to not know where to be in the world." your eyes feel wet, and he smiles.
god, you're brilliant.
he raises your hand to his mouth and kisses your pulse.
"what a mind," he murmurs, and you laugh softly.
"you tell me that all the time."
"because I mean it, babe."
now he understands when those cheesy movies say "I want you body, mind and soul".
you are undeniably beautiful, gorgeous even. kindness seeps from your very being, and you're mind is bright and soft.
he wants all of you, forever.
..••°°°°••....••°°°°••..
the voices that implore, "you should be doing more"
ellen sees some of the articles and criticisms of her eldest on the internet. quinn has always been the quietest, the most calm and so stoic. but her sweet boy, who worked too hard and did too much was always being told to do more.
so when she called him and he picked up the facetime groggy and hair still damp, she was surprised.
"hey, mom." he answered, sitting up and rubbing his eyes.
"hi, quinn. sorry, sweetie. i didn't expect you to be asleep. i thought i would check up on you."
"all good." he yawns, and he makes small talk.
she wonders if he's seen all of the speculations about his captaincy on the news and headlines.
he tells her he has, because she asks him straight up. he appreciates the straightforwardness, and he has since he was young.
he tells her that you were there.
"she ran me a bath, with those weird salt things that women love so much-"
"hey! they're very nice." she interrupts, laughing at his antics.
"and she made soup. we ate already and I took a nap. she's out getting groceries, but i'll tell her you said hi, mom."
ellen nods, something tangible and comforting in the air around her. her son is in good hands.
..••°°°°••....••°°°°••..
to you, I can admit that I'm just too soft for all of it
you find him in the empty change room. he's sitting on a bench, wet hair messy, head hung. you expected this; your boyfriend was nothing if not responsible and too hard on himself.
after another loss, his grief and frustration was normal.
you kneel before him, taking his face, hot from the shower in your cool hands. his pretty eyes are rimmed red, and he leans into your touch.
"hey, pretty boy. you did good out there, captain."
he shakes his head, fingers trembling as he pulls you closer so he can push his face into your hair, inhaling your smell.
"i failed them. i'm a shit captain, and i can't seem to break this cycle we're in-"
"you are not a shit captain." you say those words firmly, and it almost surprises quinn. normally you were soft-spoken and slow, but you tell him this with urgency.
"i should be taking care of everyone, and everything-"
"but who takes care of you?"
your words break a dam in him, and he buries his head in your shoulder. the position is uncomfortable, but you don't shift or mention his shaking shoulders.
"you are a good leader. a good leader is one who stands with his team, even during the tough times. the boys adore you, and you will break this rut. but it takes time, and work, my love. no one works harder than you."
he sniffs, a hovering breath touches your neck.
"you are so strong, my sweet boy." you cradle his neck, pressing kisses to the side of his face. this sets off another wave of emotions, and he easily tugs you up into his lap.
his wet hair drips onto your (his) jersey, but you don't mind.
"and if you need to be strong for them, you can be soft with me. i'm here for a reason. another set of shoulders to bear your burdens."
"i love you, y'know that?" his voice is scratchy, vulnerable and thick with emotion. although the two of you have exchanged those three words countless of times before this, it feels like more this time.
"i know, quinnie. i love you too."
..••°°°°••....••°°°°••..
I find myself running home to your sweet nothings
jack hauls his older brother onto the curb, setting him there, praying that he doesn't fall flat into the road. luke runs out with quinn's jacket, draping it over his shoulders.
it isn't often that quinn gets drunk, especially this drunk. but the boys night was a chance for all of them to let loose during the off season.
the small dive bar near the lake house was the perfect place to get away.
"dude, he is hammered." luke huffs, tugging at the sleeves of his own hoodie, the chill of the night starting to surround the air.
quinn says something under his breath as he sways, and jack sets him upright again.
"bro, what did you say?"
quinn repeats your name, louder this time, with the request to see you immediately.
the way he says your name, with so much love and awe makes jack almost wish he was in a relationship.
"sure, man. i'll call her to pick you up."
you arrive a mere 10 minutes later, hair wet, wearing one of quinn's canucks sweatshirts and a pair of sleep shorts.
"hey guys," you greet the other hughes boys. Luke gives you a side hug, and you pat jack's arm in thanks as you move to help her boyfriend up.
"babe!" Quinn only realizes then that you're here. jack has to laugh, seeing his brother so far gone because of the 7 tequila shots they took.
"jeez, guys. how much did you drink?" you ask, laughing, and Luke starts to regale you with the tale of jack's bad rendition of lady gaga.
"i missed you." quinn is now standing behind you, arms firmly wrapped around your waist, his cheek pressed against the top of your head. he doesn't say it loud, but contented and quiet.
jack watches as you smooth your hands over his forearms, rolling your eyes in amusement.
"yes, yes, I missed you too, you clingy baby."
"hey! m'not clingy." he protested, his whole body pressed up against every inch of yours.
jack snorts, giving you a sympathetic look, "good luck with that one."
you jokingly flip him off, as you try to maneuver your much larger boyfriend.
"c'mon, hughes." quinn frowns at this.
"I only answer to quinny, my love, sweetie and baby."
"that's your name?" jack asked, only to be met with a dirty look from his brother. luke snickers as you shrug quinn into the passenger seat.
"thanks for watching him." you say as you walk over to the driver's side.
"thanks for coming to get him. did we interrupt anything?"
"nah, except your mom was showing me your guys' baby pictures." you eyes shine with mirth as they groan.
"please tell me she didn't-"
"yep, the bathtub pictures too." you smile, and quinn yells something from with in the car.
"okay, I should probably get the big baby home. you guys don't stay out too late, okay?" you tell them, and they bid you goodbye.
he watches you guys drive off, quinn probably saying something stupid as you laugh.
"y'know, i really hope she's the one." Luke tells him as they head back into the bar.
jack has never, ever seen his brother so happy. he's never seen him smile so willingly for anyone, and clearly, you have him wrapped around your finger.
"yeah, me too, man."
..••°°°°••....••°°°°••..
+ all that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothing
you're wearing your blue light glasses, a tank top and a pair of his plaid boxers as you sit cross-legged in your shared bed, hair loose around your shoulders.
you're working on something new, and quinn studies your features as you concentrate.
without looking up from your laptop, you grin, "stop staring, stalker."
he laughs, "you love it."
you meet his eyes as he crawls next to you. he lets you wipe at his mouth, where he's sure there's still remnants of toothpastes.
"i love you." you offer instead, and he pulls you onto his lap. his fingers inch up your thighs but stop there.
he just wants to feel you, before he has to leave for another roadie.
"i love you." he tells you matter-of-factly, "and i'm going to marry you one day."
"babe, we've only been together a little over 8 months," you protest, but he sees the glow of joy on your cheeks at his words.
"i know," he says confidently, "but i'm going to make you my wife, one day. all i want is you."
you melt at his words, laying your head on his shoulder, "all i want is you, and your sweet nothings."
★・・・・★・・・・ ★・・・・★
© sweetteainthesummerx.tumblr. all rights reserved. unauthorized copying, translation, or claiming of my writing or any works as your own is strictly prohibited.
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inkskinned · 11 months ago
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yesterday while feverish i wrote about how boats can moor next to each other like pigeons, cooing with the gentle rap of water against their hull. you once said that that the way i see things - birds in the water, feathers in marina paint - was "childish and naive." you said i'd been misdiagnosed - "it can't all be adhd. you might be just kind of stupid and lazy."
i still do certain things like how you taught me - turn the pillow case inside out before putting it on. drive defensively. hate myself entirely.
the prompt for this poem is "mahler's fifth." i wish it wasn't, but mahler's fifth was our song. it ended up in my book. every person that knows your name has promised me they'll give you one swift rabbit punch, right to the face. dean read the book and showed up on my front porch, drenched in sweat from running the 8 miles at 4 in the morning. he was shaking. pacifist and gentle - he works with children - i'd never seen him furious. a punch isn't going to do it, he said, and then said i'm sorry. i had to come to see if you were okay.
mahler's fifth was mine first, like my girlhood. i like the way each movement piles onto the next movement, each instrument bleeding into the next. i like the horn version the best. before i met you, i danced to it on grass still-wet from sprinklers.
later you would tell me that the way you heard it was somehow better. you understood something in it that i couldn't quite wrap my fingers into. once, on our anniversary, you asked the classical music radio station to play it for us. we missed hearing it because we were fighting. one of the things people get wrong about abuse is that sometimes victims are, like, brutally aware of the stupidity of our situation. what do you mean that you thought i wasn't good enough for you? you? you're just... nothing.
sometimes people can pull the poetry out of your life. i watched my words become clothesline, and then thin out into kite twine. i watched you chew through every good syllable of me. so many good songs and places and moments were ruined. i am glad you didn't like most of my music - less to tie back to you.
but still mahler's fifth. the music swells, and i am 21 and throwing up in a bathroom on my birthday. a woman i will later refer to as lesbian jesus runs a cool hand down my back, her perfect pantsuit starch-pressed. she told me to leave you. she said - and this is true, and not an invention of rhyme or fantasy - i'm you from the future.
i am 22, and i got home from an award ceremony, and i remember you telling me - you act so proud of yourself when you're actually so fucking embarrassing. i took you to disney world. you took my virginity. i gave up visiting spain for a week with my family - i instead choose you, to spend the time just-cuddling. you called it "our fuck week." the music swells. it probably should have been a red flag that for about 3 years - i just gave up on crying. my grandfather died and you said nothing. my uncle died and you ghosted me for 3 weeks. you said i need to protect myself from your ongoing tragedy.
every so often i come back to the memory of one of our last afternoons in person. i had just told you that i wasn't going to law school, despite the free ride - i was going to join a creative writing program. master's in fine arts. i was going to finally do it - i was going to follow my dreams. this blog was already internet-famous. however reluctantly, i would occasionally refer to myself as a poet. i got into umass amherst's writing program for fiction authors. it is one of the the top 5 programs in the country.
wait are you seriously considering actually attending that? dumbfounded, you turned completely towards me in your seat. for the 3rd time in our relationship, you almost crashed the car. you actually want to be a writer?
the first time i went viral, it was for a poem i wrote about you:
he wants to say i love you but keeps it to goodnight because love will take some falling and she's afraid of heights.
every time i see that, i want to throw up. you weren't in love with me, you were in love with the control you had over me. a little truth though: i am afraid of heights. you caught a rabbitgirl and skinned her alive.
mahler's fifth still makes me sick.
give me that back. give me back music. give me back everything i had before you. give me back fearlessness. give me back bravery. give me back a scarless body.
give me back what you took from me.
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