#on the other IVE GOTTA FIGURE OUT WHY DREAM WOULD DECIDE TO DO THAT TO BEGIN WITH OR ELSE I WILL GET EXPLODED

[localsharkcryptid]

Silly very self indulgent canon divergent AU idea that I really want to write VS "BUT WHY WOULD HE SAY THAT??? HOW DO WE MAKE THIS LOGICAL TO THE CHARACTER" with the part where it diverges from canon - FIGHT

[shipsational]

Okay So i had a brain blast about my ship with alastor so this is gonna be the Definite Kewpie x Alastor Ship Post that covers everything i have so far about it ↷↷↷

so this whole thing starts because somehow someway i get a demon attached to me as a kid, a toddler even, dont really know how or why, but because of this my whole life growing up is plagued by insane near death experiences all orchestrated by this demon (this is based on some real shit in my life btw, not to sound superstitious or anything and i dont even think i believe in demons of any denomination but there was some Weird Shit going on, i might talk about it someday) and by the time im an adult ive tired everything under the sun to stop these things from happening- different religious practices, spells and charms and rituals and so on and so forth im at my god damn limit im so tired

eventually im pushed to try to fight fire with fire, and end up summoning Another demon to try and idk cancel out the old one? make a deal to keep me safe? not sure What my plan was but i'd come this far and i didnt know where else to turn

well the demon i summoned was alastor. he wasnt even my intended target, in fact of demon of his power shouldnt really be able to be summoned at all under normal circumstances, and would require someone with a ton of power of their own to pull it off (havent decided if this is something i managed to do because of all the varied rituals etc mentioned earlier, or some dumb luck) and that alone is kind of intriguing for him

tbh he hasnt been summoned in a While, its something that got lost to time and he kinda assumed it would never happen again, and even when it happened before he would usually just kill the person without bothering to strike a deal, cause even people who did manage to do it usually werent strong enough to do it safely

but hell has been kinda Boring lately, the hotel hasnt given him as much entertainment as he had hoped (this is like. mid season 1, and with the understanding that the story stretches way longer than the breakneck speed the actual show takes) and he sees this as an opportunity for something interesting to do for a while

when he hears what im looking for, he's gotta laugh about it- there's no way this other demon that had attached to me would give him any trouble, and this was a great way to guarantee he get another soul when i eventually died anyway, so he offers up this deal:

for a few hours a day he gets complete control over my body, a full on possession to do whatever he wants with that time.

obviously im hesitant, but we go back and forth on it a bit before deciding to make the deal with some ground rules (like he cant do anything thats gonna get me killed prematurely for example- after all im doing this specifically so i dont die by another demon's hand)

so we strike the deal! no all he has to do is get rid of that other demon and my soul is as good as his! its not that simple tho of course- he's not sure how the demon is accessing the living world, and figures its likely similar to what he's doing- somehow tethering himself to the living world, while their actual physical body is still in hell, so he needs to figure that out on his end, and it ends up being a more difficult task than previously expected- so he could be dealing with something older and more powerful than he realizes.

he'll figure that out later tho, he's got living stuff to do! at first he's v dismissive when i ask him what he could possibly want to be doing with my body, like what was he even planning to get up to, but he cant keep me completely in the dark about it cause im still sorta There when im possessed- its a bit like lucid dreaming where you're aware that you're dreaming, but not quite aware enough to control what you're Doing in the dream, and over time i become more and more present the longer he's possessing me

so eventually he admits that he's curious about what happened after he died- he was a bit of a celebrity when he was alive after all, he's sure it would cause Quite a stir when it was revealed after he died that he was a criminal- a moonshiner for one, but a serial killer and cannibal! he wants to know if there was a media circus, where he was buried, wants to visit his old stomping grounds, and so on and so forth. this leads me on all kinds of adventures through the deep south, the dusty aisles of libraries and newpaper archives, old graveyards, and so on, all the while we keep getting more comfortable and close despite ourselves

and eventually i realize that he isnt actually interested in what happened to himself after his death, he's actually using all this to try and find out what happened to his mother. she was Not a local celebrity, and his infamy was so large that it eclipsed most of the people he knew in life, so tracking it all down was kind of a hassle. but he was and is a mama's boy, and he wanted to know if she lived a good life

now all of this eventually winds down to figuring out why there was that first demon attached to me, probably some fucked up nonsense a little while back in my family tree or something (tbh im not sure how much i want to focus on the how and why but we'll see) and we get that settled finally as well as finding out how alastor's mom's life played out and put him at east there, and all that's left is to simply live my life until i die, where i'll go to hell and alastor will have my soul to keep (we're v cozy at this point and quite comfortable cohabiting a body and mind space so he's not particularly eager to completely break the tether until my time comes)

and the thing about sharing a mindspace with something extremely dangerous and powerful that has just enough sway over the world around you to keep you safe in a bad situation, or even fully take over your body to get you out of it, is that you feel v confidant most of the time and fear isnt really something you deal with anymore, so i frequently go wandering around the woods at night for example because im sure nothing can really touch me when i have a demon for a companion

a demon in your head cant protect you from a bullet however, and maybe i should have known better than wandering the woods at night during deer season, and maybe the unholy aura i had around me hit the moonlight just wrong and the hunter thought he was aiming for the silhouette of a creature with antlers, and then i was dead

and then i wake up in hell

if this was a fic, at this point it would be like the 'part 2' (and who knows if i iron it out enough maybe i Will write it sometime) and im not sure exactly what i want to do about it just yet obviously it would loosely follow the canon of the show, just with a lot of extra stuff thrown in. maybe in 'part 1', we didnt actually Kill the other demon, just broke away from it, and its still in hell somewhere, fuming about losing my soul, or maybe finding out about his mom actually did Not put alastor at ease- maybe his actions made her life very difficult and now he has to deal with knowing that and i can use that as a catalyst to him getting redeemed to see her again in heaven, not sure yet!

but i do know a big part of the interpersonal situation is that we dont share that mindspace anymore, we're just physically There Together and tbqh its really difficult to cope with. we both got so used to it that we feel like something's missing now, and we might even go so far as to try to find a way to reestablish that mental link, or maybe there's still echoes of it lingering, but only if we're asleep or something like that

like i said, still ironing out the hell part of it all, but thats what ive got! much to think about much to think about

and to add to this- some stray little Thoughts and Ideas to play around with in regards to this story:

while researching alastor's life and 'hunting grounds' we run into a copycat killer, probably someone who has a personal collection of alastor's things, works at a library maybe, who's always dreamed of following in his footsteps, and that decides i should be the first victim since im also sooo interested in alastor's 'work' that i surely wouldnt mind (i do, and so does alastor (he does Not consider imitation as flattery and who tf does this loser think they are coming after something that belongs to him (he's gotten attached)))

i for sure need to come up with more fun and awful little adventures like that

alastor's ability to effect and manipulate the living world around me through his powers alone (so like Not literally using my body for example, this is more like a poltergeist) is stronger when there's radio static playing in the air

going off the idea that the mental link gets stronger and clearer the long it lasts, maybe at sone point it gets so strong that one time when i go to sleep, i 'wake up' in a v similar state as when alastor was first possessing me, that floaty, kinda-lucid-kinda-not, excpet now im hitching a ride in His body in hell and at this point he's so used to having me as a v general and vague presense at the back of his mind that he doesnt even notice at first that im much more clearly and actively There- its a frightening idea for us both when the realization sets cause now we Really gotta face whays going on here and how far its gone

when i get shot by the hunter, alastor is actively co-piloting my body at the time, and since i headcanon he died in a similar fashion (bullet to the head) its like he experienced his own death all over again (something something tied even in our death etc etc) and he sort of 'wakes up' back in his body afterwards and after realizing what happened having to fight the urge to be seen frantically searching the streets for me now that i must be here

considering we Were linked up when i died, and the black mark this whole situation would leave on my soul, my demon form would probably echo his design

how far am i willing to go while alive to achieve our goals- ive definitely been put in situations where i needed to do harm for survival, but would i go further than that, not because i needed to, but because i wanted to? is it alastor's influence or something that i was always capable of? do i indulge in cannibalism? what about after im in hell, what then?

thinking on it, i think Will go with alastor's mom suffering from his life choices, and him having to deal with that, as Well as having to deal with that first demon in 'part 2' to carry over as an overarching plot

maybe we Both get redeemed but we dont actually like it in heaven like its too bright so we fuckin.

act up to get sent back (this is mostly jokey but could you imagine)

[luminnara]

It’s Been A Long, Long Time | ch 4

Summary:  When HYDRA had their prized asset, the Winter Soldier, they did something no one ever thought was possible: they gave super soldier serum to an omega. With the sole purpose of tending to him during his ruts, she spends decades living in HYDRA facilities, denied her humanity and her life. Now, years later, Bucky Barnes has his mind and his own life back...and the last thing he ever expects is to see a familiar omega again. Bucky/OC, a little angsty but mostly smutty/fluffy/romantic!

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five

Taglist:  @kyrah-williams @oceanmermaidwitch @shawnie--jo @super-cape @ferxaniti @namjoonwatcheshentai @fandomsstolemylife00 @youngblood199456 @nightlygiggless @darlingely

Amoretta swam in and out of sleep. Whenever she surfaced, she saw bright lights and strange faces, and, assuming that she was in a HYDRA lab, she decided it was better if she just kept on dreaming. After a while, though, she couldn’t manage it anymore, and she finally woke up enough to actually take in her surroundings.

She was in a hospital bed, and...a gown? She couldn’t remember the last time she had been given clothing. When she tried to move, she found that her arms ached, and she had an IV sticking out of her. Okay, so wherever she was, they were trying to take care of her. Maybe. That seemed like a good sign. 

“Oh, good, you’re awake,” a man’s voice said. “How’re you feeling?”

A figure came into view, blurry at first, and as he got closer she was able to get him in focus. Amoretta immediately stiffened, feeling threatened by this stranger, but as the scent of omega wafted in, she relaxed slightly. She couldn’t smell any alphas nearby, and that was good. 

Two good signs so far. 

“Wh-who are you?” She asked, her voice wobbly and hoarse. Her throat was so sore that talking was painful. 

“My name is Dr. Bruce Banner.” The man said, reaching towards a nearby table and grabbing a water bottle off of it. “I’m with the Avengers.”

Amoretta frowned. “The...who?”

He came near her slowly, twisting the cap off the bottle and offering it to her. “You’ve probably got a lot of questions. Mind if I ask a couple, though?”

She gave a little shrug as she raised the bottle to her lips. It felt strange to hold, the water tasting...different from what she was used to.

“Can you tell me your name?”

She thought for a moment, brows knitting together. “Subject 1096.”

It was Bruce’s turn to frown. “Did you ever have a...different name?”

After a moment, she nodded, trying to remember. It felt like it was on the tip of her tongue, just out of reach. Had it really been so long since she had gotten to say it?

“We can come back to that one.” Bruce said gently. “Do you know what year it is?”

She thought for a moment. “19...1986.”

The doctor pulled off his glasses, pinching the bridge of his nose and mumbling something along the lines of “Christ, not another one…”

She got the feeling that she was off by a few years. 

“Well, Ten...is it alright if I call you that?”

She shrugged.

“...alright. Ten, it seems like you were cryogenically frozen for a few decades.”

“...decades?”

He nodded. “Your body seems to have handled it well, though.”

“Did I puke?” She asked, wrinkling her nose.

“Not that I saw.” He chuckled. 

Well, that was a little surprising. She had a tendency to vomit after being wrenched out of unnaturally cold naps. “Where am I?”

“You’re in my lab, at Stark Tower.”

“What continent?”

“North America.”

She made a thoughtful noise. “What month is it?”

“June.”

“So Ursa Major is out?”

Bruce paused. “...well, it’s hard to see with all the light pollution in the city, but...yes, I suppose it should be…”

She let out a sigh. “I miss it.”

Her voice was already sounding tired again, and Bruce was quick to take the water bottle back before it slipped from her hand. 

“You should get some more rest, Ten.” He suggested. “We’ve got plenty of time to get you caught up when you’re feeling more energetic.”

“Mhm.” her eyes fluttered closed. “Doctor?”

“Yes?”

“What city am I in?”

“New York.” He said, looking down at her curiously. “Manhattan, more specifically. Why?”

She smiled a little. “I wanna see...Brooklyn…”

As she drifted off to sleep again, Bruce rubbed his face. Well, that certainly was oddly specific of her to say. It was a good sign that she seemed lucid, though. 

“Captain Rogers is outside, Dr. Banner.” FRIDAY’s AI voice said. 

Bruce met him at the door, making his way out as quietly as possible. Steve looked anxious, standing with his hands on his hips as he waited for news. He hadn’t gotten a chance to find Bucky yet, his friend either working out or sleeping, and all he had managed so far was a quick debriefing and a shower. 

“I ran down as soon as FRIDAY called,” he said. “How is she?”

“Sleeping again. Just missed her.” Bruce said wryly. “Walk with me, I’m starving.” 

Steve fell into step beside him, heading towards the elevators. “Did she say anything?”

“She did. She seemed a bit out of it...couldn’t remember her name, hasn’t been awake since 1986.” He hit the UP button and stood back. “Seemed very interested in constellations, though. And Brooklyn.”

Steve stared at him. “Brooklyn?”

“Told her she was in New York, and the last thing she said before she fell asleep was something about Brooklyn.” Bruce shrugged. “Really interesting thing was her blood tests, though.”

“Blood tests?” Steve asked, stepping into the elevator and waiting for Bruce to join him before the doors closed again. 

“Definitely an omega.” Banner said as they headed up several floors. “Her scent is so muted because they pumped her full of enough suppressants to kill a normal person. Pretty sure that’s why she’s so tired...her body is working overtime trying to process such a high dose. I think it was just pooling in her system while she was in cryo, not really going anywhere, so now her kidneys are doing everything they can to—“

“Banner.” Steve interrupted before he had to listen to an entire scientific explanation. 

“Right. Sorry.” The scientist cleared his throat. “There was something else that I found already. She’s, uh…well, at some point, she was given super soldier serum.” 

Steve froze. “HYDRA gave the serum...to an omega?”

“It’s confusing to me, too,” Bruce put his hands up in defeat. “Thanks to that, though, it’s hard to determine how old she is, or who she is, without her telling us. All I know is that she’s an unmarked omega super soldier with a hell of a dose of heat suppressants to work through.”

“Any idea when she’ll be up again?” Steve asked as the elevator dinged to signal their arrival. 

“Hard to say.” Bruce said, following the alpha out towards the shared kitchen near the common area. 

“I need to get to the bottom of this, Banner. FRIDAY, will you find Bucky? I need you to tell him—“

“Tell him what?” A voice asked. 

Steve smiled in relief. Bucky was there, sitting on the couch with a plate of Alfredo balanced in his metal hand, looking mildly curious about whatever his friend was talking about. 

“Oh, good,” Steve said, approaching him, Banner following behind. “You’re already here.”

“What is it, Stevie?” He asked, an eyebrow raised. 

“Well, as you know, I visited an abandoned HYDRA base today.” 

“I’m aware.”

“And I found...something.”

“...something. What kind of something?”

Steve suddenly wasn’t sure how to describe his discovery. “Well, it’s a...not an it, I mean, I found a…”

“Rogers here brought back an omega test subject.” Bruce interrupted. “She’s down in the lab right now sleeping off some nasty meds.”

Bucky’s posture hadn’t changed, despite how awkward and almost nervous Steve had gotten. He leaned back against the cushions, slurping down a few noodles while he regarded his friend with a mild expression. 

“Alright, so?” He asked. 

“So...I was wondering if you had any idea what HYDRA was doing experimenting on an omega.” Steve said, hands on his hips in a stance that was supposed to say I mean business, so listen to me.

Bucky wasn’t bothered by it. He was the biggest, toughest alpha in the tower, aside from the rare occasions Thor was roughing it down on Midgard with the rest of them. The others could puff up and posture all they wanted at him, but it never had any effect. He was always calm and cool, generally disinterested in their displays. He knew he was stronger, and he didn’t need to prove it, especially not when he didn’t have an omega to fight over. 

He shrugged. “I want exactly privy to all their secrets. I know they kept cells full of omegas around for a while.”

“What did they do with them?” Steve asked.

“Whatever they wanted?” Bucky shook his head. “I really don’t know. If they were experimenting on ‘em, that never concerned me.”

“You’ve gotta know something, Buck.” Steve sounded exasperated. 

“Why do you care so much?” He asked. 

“Because something isn’t adding up.” Steve growled. 

“They gave this omega enough heat suppressants to last a lifetime,” Bruce said. “Her system is all kinds of messed up.”

“Makes sense.” Bucky ate another mouthful. “HYDRA wouldn’t want to deal with hormones going crazy or any unplanned pups.”

Steve stared down at his friend. “Did they let you rut?”

“Stevie, at least take me out to dinner before you start asking about my sex life fifty years ago.” Bucky said dryly. 

Steve just raised an eyebrow.

“...yeah. They did. Think they couldn’t stop my ruts.” He relented. 

“So did they...you know…” Steve trailed off awkwardly. 

“Were you ever given omegas to get you through them?” Bruce asked, proving once again how much more capable of having this conversation he was than Steve. 

Bucky finally had to glance away from them in embarrassment. “Well…yeah. But I, uh...the Soldier, he would just kind of...well, they didn’t really last long, if you uh. Catch my drift.”

Steve paled. 

Bruce gulped. 

“...what? Look, I’m better now, I’m way past that. Besides, I never meant to hurt anyone, I wasn’t myself—“

“This omega is a super soldier.” Bruce said quietly.

Bucky’s face dropped, a flicker of something passing over his face. “...what?”

—

“Finally,” Bruce sighed happily, inhaling the smell of leftover pizza. 

“Bucky, does the number 1096 mean anything to you?” Steve asked. He was sitting in a chair across from his friend, Bruce sitting at the kitchen island while he ate his dinner. 

Bucky shook his head. “Don’t remember any numbers like that. They mostly just called ‘em all omega.”

He was trying to seem cool and collected, but his scent had shifted slightly. Steve could catch just the slightest hint of distress in it, and as he did so, he narrowed his eyes. He may have been separated from Bucky for almost 80 years, but he was still his best friend, and he could tell when he was hiding something. 

“Why would they give the serum to an omega?” Steve asked. 

“Branching out?” Bucky shook his head. “Why do they do anything? They’re HYDRA. They can do whatever they want.”

“So you don’t remember anything about an omega super soldier?”

“I don’t know.” Bucky sniffed defensively. 

“Buck, it’s okay if you do.” Steve growled. “We’re not going to judge you for anything you did. We just want to help her and figure out who she is—“

“Well I don’t know,” Bucky snapped, big fangs bared in a warning. 

Steve responded with a low growl. 

“There’s a lot I don’t remember, or did you forget how many times they wiped my memory?” 

“Seems like you’re hiding something, Buck, and I wanna know what it is.”

“Why do you care? You should just drop it,” Bucky snarled. 

Steve regarded him carefully. Oh yeah. He was definitely hiding something. 

“Hey, hey,” Bruce interrupted from the kitchen, intent on stopping their fight before it could start. “Relax, fellas. Don’t make me get the big guy out to shut you both up.”

Steve backed down. The threat of having the Hulk going after him was enough. Bucky didn’t seem to share the sentiment, though, his lips still pulled back in a blatant display of aggression. It was the first time in a while that Steve had seen him acting so defensively about something, and it was concerning, to say the least. 

“Buck,” he said, voice low with warning. “Are you hiding something?”

Bucky’s nostrils flared angrily and the insinuation that he was keeping secrets, but he managed to reign himself back in, stifling another growl with a loud sigh. 

“I dunno, Steve.” He admitted. “There’s...a lot I don’t remember. If I’m bein’ honest with you, I’m not even sure why I’m feelin’ so worked up about this.”

Steve nodded. It was a relief to hear that Bucky wasn’t acting this way entirely on purpose, at least. 

“You feel okay?” Steve asked. “Not rutting soon, are you?”

“I’m fine, Steve.”

“You sure?”

“I’m sure.” Bucky snorted. After a moment of silence, he spoke up again. “Is the omega, uh...is she okay?”

“Physically, she doesn’t seem to be too worse for wear,” Bruce said from the kitchen. “The only abnormalities I found in our preliminary blood tests were evidence of the suppressants and the serum. Other than being exhausted and needing to adjust to consciousness again after decades of cryo, she’s fine.”

“Good.” Bucky said, a little too quickly. “I mean...that’s good.”

“She should be awake again by tomorrow. Hopefully, she’ll be up for a longer chat then.” 

“You comfortable talking with her?” Steve asked, looking at Bucky. “It might be good for her to see someone else who used to be connected to HYDRA. Might help her ease into everything.”

Bucky gave a nod, already distracted by thoughts of this omega. Was it possible that the girl he saw in his dreams was real? It was hard for him to know what had actually happened to him and what he had imagined, what with HYDRA wiping his memory whenever they felt like it. Ever since he had gained his mental freedom, though, he had been plagued with nightmares, his sleep always filled with the faces of people he had killed. 

As time went on, they were getting better, but they never really stopped. He just...didn’t always have to deal with the worst ones. Sometimes, he even got to have dreams that were...nice. Sometimes, he dreamt of a familiar scent, one he couldn’t really place and that he could never remember when he woke up. Sometimes, he dreamt of an omega, with long, dark hair, and the prettiest eyes he could ever imagine. He always saw her in flashes, a smile here, a sigh there, and with no idea as to who she was or where she came from, he had chalked it up to his mind trying to give him some relief from the nightmares. It had to be wishful thinking, and nothing more. 

Unless it wasn’t. 

He spent a while chatting with Steve and Bruce before retreating to his apartment. With Tony and Pepper gone for the night, spending it in some fancy hotel so that Stark could give a talk at some expo, and most of the others resting after missions, the tower was quiet. It left Bucky too much time to wander and think, and before he knew it, he was making a detour down to Banner’s lab. 

As soon as the elevator doors opened, he paused. What was he hoping to accomplish, exactly? He didn’t have the kind of clearance that Bruce did. He wouldn’t be able to sneak in, and even if he could, what would he do? Appearing at her bedside would just freak the poor omega out, and that wasn’t the kind of first impression he liked to leave these days. 

He shook his head, pressing the button for his floor and leaning back against the elevator wall. He needed to be patient. Tomorrow, when she woke up, he would be able to see her for himself and decide if his weird dreams had any truth to them. 

Not that he was getting his hopes up. He shouldn’t, after all. He would just set himself up for disappointment. 

Just before the elevator doors slid shut, though, the tiniest, faintest hint of a scent wafted in, and Bucky’s eyes widened. He knew it. He knew that scent, or at least...he used to know it. Somewhere, in a part of his mind that he tried to forget about, he had memories of a peaceful, starry night sky, a hint of pine, and a touch of cinnamon. 

Then, the doors closed, and it was gone again, leaving him confused as the elevator rushed upwards.

[spencerhotchner]

Alternative {spencer reid}

Chapter 1 

summary: Since quarentine was announced, Y/N decided to rewatch all seasons of Criminal Minds. On a lonely night she wished she could be in that universe instead of this. What happens when she wakes up in 2008 in Quantico?

warnings: angst, a very confused reader, regular cm stuff and my grammar (if you find anything else pls lmk

word count: 2k

a/n: i have this idea while watching a movie about parallel universes and all, so i just wanted to try this out. it will be a 10 parts series! im not really sure about this, i think i kinda hate it but im posting it anyways lmao. i hope you gonna enjoy!

series masterlist

part 1 | part 2

You woke up feeling dizzy and with a major headache. At first you thought it was because you drank a whole lot of wine last night but then you saw yourself in a room you never saw before. You stoop up quickly trying to understand where you were and how did you end up there. You were sure that you have never been in this place before, and it was scaring you that you showed up in there.

There was a mirror nailed to the wall in from of you almost forcing you to look at your own body, that made you notice that you were still wearing the same clothes from last night, but you weren’t home. Not being home was odd given by the fact you stayed there with your family and two friends you invited over, since there’s a whole freaking pandemic going on and you for sure did not want to get sick or get other people sick. 

“Did I get kidnapped?” you think out loud. “No, I just watch too much Criminal Minds.” you tell yourself, trying to calm down.

You reach for the face mask placed on the nightstand, getting ready to leave this random place and go home. You tried not to freak out when you realized your phone was gone and the only cellphone in there was probably as old as your grandmother. You dialed your moms number about five times and all of them went on voicemail, making you curse mentally. 

This can’t be happening. Not to me.

As soon as you leave the apartment you were in you realized you weren’t in your hometown, definitely not. It was crowded, like, really crowded and no one was wearing any face masks. Where did the freaking pandemic go? You wondered while you felt like a misfit for being the only one wearing it. 

“Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?” you ask an old lady walking by.

“You’re on Main Street, sweetheart.” she says.

“No, um, I mean the city.” you watched as the old lady looked at you with a funny face, as if she was calling you crazy on her mind.

“We’re in Quantico, dear.”

“Quantico?” you repeat, mostly for yourself then for her. The lady started at you like you were an alien. “Thank you so much, ma’am.”

The air started to go low on you, how did you get to Virginia, anyway? That was across the country from where you lived, Bellevue in Washington state. You started lost walking, trying to understand what the hell was going on. It felt like you were on a parallel universe, like you were in a dream but couldn't wake up and it sure felt very real. You stoped a jornal shop taking a lot at the last newspaper in there, trying to figure if something happened that you were missing. However, nothing reported there shocked you, what did, though, was the date. 

July 1st, 2008

You were about to ask someone about it when you bumped into a blonde woman, falling on the ground. As soon as you looked up, you almost chocked yourself. If the day was already weird, this was even weirder. A.J Cook was standing right in front of you with a concerned look. You couldn't really say anything, just staring at her like she wasn't real. It was weird seeing her in front of you after only seeing her through screens. 

“I’m so sorry!” she said as she offered a hand for you to get up. “Are you ok?”

“I- um, yes! I’m fine.” you san, getting the dirt out of your outfit. “I’m a big fan of yours! Wish I had my phone here to take a picture but- sorry.“ you stoped talking, realizing she probably doesn’t care.

“Big fan of me? Wow, howcome somebody’s a fan of me?” she sounds surprised.

“Well, you’re on Criminal Minds.” you say as it was obvious. 

She looked at you as if you were out of your mind. Not that you weren't thinking otherwise at the moment, anyways. 

“I’m on what now?” she asked.

Maybe you got confused and she was the wrong person, but she looked so much like her to not be her. If they were not the same person, then definitely twins. This was so weird, once again, you found yourself asking ‘what the hell’ mentally.

“You’re JJ, Jennifer Jareau, FBI Agent and all.” you say, trying one more time. “Behaviour Analysis Unit...”

“Yea, that‘s me.” she let a nervous laugh comes out of her mouth. “How do you know me?”

‘This is weird’ you thought. How does she not understand where you know her from? Literally Criminal Minds, like you said at first. ‘Maybe this is all a dream.’

“I saw you on tv” you try.

“Oh, I see! You like law enforcement?” she asks you.

“Oh yes, I’m in law-school to be a judge someday.” you answered. “The show, all of it just makes me wanna put all them bad guys in jail.” you say, laughing a bit. 

“The show...? What?” you hear her whisper, but decide to ignore it. “What’s the mask about?” JJ asks, making you look at her surprised.

“Um, covid-19?” you say like it’s obvious, because it is.

“Oh, sure...” she smiles as she says it, almost like she's only agreeing because she won't discuss it. “Great talking to you, really, but I gotta go, FBI duty calls.” she jokes.

You smile at her watching carefully as she picks up her phone from her pocket and pick up a call. That phone looked awfully old, like 2000’s old. Why would a famous actress have that kinda of phone? Then, you looked around trying to understand more about what was going on. It was all too out of place.

First, nobody wearing masks, not even a single person but you. Second, you were in a city in which is miles away from your own. Third, a famous actress acted like she’s nobody. And fourth, the date on the calendar said 2008.

If it wasn’t just impossible I would say I time travelled into Criminal Minds universe.

After standing there for literal 10 minutes trying to figure it out what you were going to do, you decide to go to the police department. After all, you may have been abducted, right? Because you didn’t have any knowledge of the place, you took quite some time to get there. As soon as you got there you sigh in relief, that has been quite a walk and damn, you were tired of this situation. 

“Excuse me, ma’am, can you help me?” you ask to the lady standing behind the counter.

“Sure, dear. What do you need?” she looks up at you, taking her glasses of her face.

“I think I might have been abducted?” you start. “I woke up in this random apartment.”

“Maybe you had a one-night stand.” she said putting back her glasses.

“No! I am sure I didn’t because first of all, there’s a pandemic going on, second of all I was in Bellevue in Washington state when I went to sleep.” you yell, involuntarily, desperate to make her believe in you. 

“Miss, I’m gonna need you to calm down or you will be escorted out of the building. You’re probably on drugs, there's nothing we can do for you.”

“Fuck you.” you say as you watch her face get all red.

Frustrated. That could define what you were feeling, scared and worried could do the work, as well. What were you going to do now? Go to the FBI to see if they could freaking understand why you simply appeared in Quantico? Didn't sound like a bad idea in your mind as you decided to just try it out. After all, you were already pretty screwed up, it would worth a shot.

You reached for your back pocket, hoping that the money you shoved in there more than a week ago would still be in there. Bingo! You pull out a 20 dollar bill out of it and the next thing you know you’re getting into a cab asking him to take you to the FBI. Now that’s something you never thought would happen. The travel was quite quick, in 20 minutos you were standing in front of that big isolated building. It looked like it was taken straight out of your favorite show, that was insane. 

The wind blew hard on you when you got out of the vehicle, making you shiver a little, that reminded you that you did not have any clothes nor money to buy more. God, you did not even have where to go. You didn't even get the chance to get into the building as a big man steps in front of you, blocking your way. 

“Miss, you're not allowed in this building.” he said without much expression. 

“But, sir-” you started, as you saw he was about to interrupt you, you go on. “Ive been abducted and I don't know where or how the hell did I get in here, I’m completely hopeless... Please.” you beg him.

He started at you for a couple of seconds, that felt like centuries for you, just to sigh at you.

“Ok, follow me.” he said. “Do not make me regret this.” 

“I-I won’t, sir.” you were quick to answer. 

The agent asked another man to cover up for him as he led me into the building. Once again you found yourself admired of how much it did look like a Criminal Minds episode in there, if you weren't totally desperate you'd be amused. Soon, you two were out of the elevator on floor 8, leading with the words Behavior Analysis Unit quite big. 

“Can you take her to Agent Jareau, please?” the man said to someone who passed by, who simply agreed. 

Now, that's a funny coincidence, there's actually an Agent Jareau in the BAU. 

You followed the woman with questioning trying to stay calm when you saw Matthew Gray Gubler sitting on a desk reading some book in Reid style, almost like he was Spencer himself. If you had any doubts you were going crazy, that was the final proof. You stoped walking, taking a stare at him and then at the Agent that stared a you like you were an alien.

“Is there something wrong?” she asks you. “Miss, are you ok?”

You were unable to answer for a few seconds when you finally opened you mouth, still trying to figure it out how to say what was on your mind without sounding completely insane.

“Is that Dr. Spencer Reid?” 

And that was all you’re able to say because as soon as you let his name out of your mouth he looked up at you, trying to somehow recognize you. You were sure, that time, that you never looked - and sounded - as insane as right now. 

“Yes, that's me.” he answers. 

His voice was the last thing you could hear before everything go black. Maybe you were finally going to wake up. Maybe. 

[iknowicanbutwhy]

Heads up we got an

Adult Hikikomori Sunny AU

I've been waiting to find an AU after the neutral end of the Hikikomori route for a while. What happened to Sunny? How did his life go on after that? Did he go to college? Did he get a fulltime job? Did he figure out what he wants in life?

these are all very good questions because literally anything could be the case. So this AU is just gonna be stuck in a hospital setting for a while.

Here's what I got so far:

Past:

Hospital Psychiatrist (practicing? Training?) Doctor Hero

I imagine after Basil's death, Hero would (eventually) turn to learning how to identify and help people with suicidal tendencies, if he's gonna be a doctor anyway.

In a choice between psychologist and psychiatrist, Hero went psychiatrist. Hero's parents would pressure him into getting a more lucrative job. PLUS psychiatrists go to college for 8 years, then take four more of psychiatry residency. Hero might feel just a little more accomplished, just a little better about himself for earning a higher degree, just to reassure himself that he's working hard and doing his best towards helping people.

Hero did extra studying in psychotherapy. He tried doing it at the same time as he did medical college. He's not.. the best at it because of that, for several reasons, but he knows it's better to combine medicine and conversation. When he has his head on straight, he can manage it.

I have.. no idea whether to put Hero into practice or residency. He'd have to be at least around.. 31, if he were in practice. That's a long time to have unresolved trauma. That's a nice hunk of research i gotta do.

That's it that's all for Hero. His goals are set in the present and focused around other people, as per usual.

Sunny is... not doing so well. He lied about going to college when he moved into some hole far away from his mother. He has no reason to get up in the morning when he can just lie around. He doesn't enjoy whatever hobbies he used to have.

He doesn't even know Basil is gone and he's so bad off.

He's honestly convinced himself that he doesn't care about anything. He still cares about people, however. He'd have stayed with his mom and burdened her with himself if he didn't. When they had moved from Faraway, it was to a cheaper, smaller place. That meant Sunny's mom didn't have to work so much. That meant more time with Sunny. He decided it was.. preferable not to stay.

The only times he does anything is when he tries to remember the past and relearn the person he used to be. What did he do? What did he like? He'd play games, and read comics, and would get frustrated? move on to something else when those did nothing for him, searching for.. some feeling to occur. And then he'd question why, why, why.

Why can't he enjoy anything? Why does he want to feel enjoyment? Why can't he just do something and be happy? Why can't he just do nothing and be fine? Why does he need to exist? Why does he want to move? Why does he want, but can never have, can never get by himself?

If there's nothing he can do, then what is he waiting for?

Vague memories would become clearer with introspection, until he would feel something, finally. An old guilt aching from deep inside his bones. A haunting self hatred, ripping away whatever minuscule strength his limbs had to try anything fun. A sense of iron resignation blanketing and anchoring his body, reminding him that it's much too late to try getting up now. Ironically, apathy got him up in the morning, as much as it keeps him from enjoying anything enough to stay up.

He was always a little too thin, but he used to force himself to do things like eat and work enough to survive. Mostly because to sleep means to not have headaches, and to not have headaches means to eat well enough, and to eat well enough means to have food, and to have food means to have money from a job.

But it's not as if he was all too desperate to sleep, anyway. His dreams have stayed the same for years. They're more eventful and colorful than bland reality, but it's a mix of the same thing every day. Staring at the swirling kaleidoscope of his dreams is exactly like observing the same beige ceiling for hours on end, until it all mixes together into the same shade of empty grey.

It probably doesn't help Sunny's mood that he thinks dramatic things like the previous point, just to pass time.

He only got worse once he was forced to move into one of those really bad apartments. You know the ones, with the rusted metal stairs nobody wants to risk their life on, and practically no privacy with four-to-five thin-walled neighboring rooms, and bad heating in one corner of the apartment. But it was cheap. Too bad he had to go up and down the stairs all the time.

He didn't have a problem with them when he just moved in. Generally, the most he notices is starting at the top, teleporting to the bottom, and a slight shaking of his hands that he barely glances at with empty curiosity.

As it is, some part of him knew this was going to happen. That he'd have one of those terribly introspective weeks, when he just so happens to have his new job with a boss ready to fire him and his sullen face and poor (somehow complete neutrality is offensive) attitude. He's emotionally vulnerable, and the memories on top of the stairs are devastating.

A week goes by. He's fired. He doesn't look for another job. He hasn't gone for groceries in a while. He's exhausted.

He was waiting for death, he guesses. He still wants, still feels that urge in the buzzing of his fingertips, the ghost of movement from his limbs, the phantom shiver in his back - the intent of every muscle in his body one after the other pleading with him to move, but never all at once - and Sunny laments that the human body is pretty stupid. Moving wont help. What would he do, make the end come quicker? He's already thrown away too many chances for that.

He'll stop wanting once he's gone. That's what happens when you get what you want, right?

His landlord finds him. He forgot the rent. He's taken to the hospital. Ugh.

Present:

Sunny is stunted and underweight. He wears baggy shirts stuffed into slightly less baggy hoodies, and sweats. Warmth. He couldn't find his hoodie after they took it off to put in an IV on his first trip to the hospital.

Usually nurses do things like bring food to patients, but Sunny only ever interacts with Hero and Hero wants to make sure Sunny is okay anyway. Not that it's much easier for Hero to encourage Sunny to eat.

Sunny stresses Hero the hell out. But Hero kinda missed Sunny, and his depressing and concerning reappearance brings with it a deadpan, world-weary, often childish humor that fails to take anything seriously when everything in Sunny's situation should be taken seriously. It's as much a relief as it is incredibly frustrating. Some days Hero loves it. Some days it makes him angry. Some days it makes him want to cry.

I tried doing research into the conduct Hero should display regarding patients/clients in general but it just. Any professionalism quickly devolves between him and Sunny.

As in, at one point, him and Sunny were whaling on each other about having no lives. Hero felt really bad afterwards; he had no idea what came over him. It was a great way for both of them to let out some hidden frustration, though, and they turned out fine afterwards. They even lowkey pick on each other every now and again.

Sometimes one or the other gets a bit too accurate in their teasing, however.

Psychiatrists are supposed to be able to understand, diagnose, and treat mental, emotional and behavioral disorders. So, if Hero were a completely capable psychiatrist, which he is, he wouldn't break down in front of his client. But Hero's late teenage years are wrought with so much grief and trauma, so to see Sunny and not just another client in this state is.. something i imagine he'd break down about eventually. There's also the fact that Sunny is mostly closed off to any help, which only makes things harder.

Hero is trying his best, but after years of never understanding why Mari died, years of thinking and wondering and second-guessing himself, years of guilt after never visiting Basil before he died, years of doing what he was told was "best" yet failing in what's most important to him (his friends) - his best never feels good enough around Sunny. It feels too little, too late. For this reason, and possibly because even if Hero were able to keep himself together he may just not be the right psychiatrist for Sunny, it would be better for him to find another psychiatrist for Sunny. He won't, though.

Hero really needs some time to himself to just think, or perhaps he needs someone else to talk to. Kel is nice, but Aubrey would have better experience handling emotions.

I have a very limited idea of what Aubrey and Kel are doing. Aubrey is a childcare instructor to parents and works in child services. She has studied child psychology. She has studied how childhood affects adulthood. Kel's off trying to make a name in basketball while giving kids high fives and heartfelt support.

Hero, in fact, does not like to be called Dr. Hero, but his shyness (feeling of unworthiness) about it only endears everyone to call him that more. He tells the kids that everyone calls him Hero, but the adults merely find out from the other doctors and nurses. Hero tried introducing himself as Henry to the other doctors, but Kel told them his nickname, and it stuck for obvious reasons.

Sometimes, on days when Hero has to wear his lab coat, he ties it around his neck like a cape. The kids like it, say it makes him look like a superHero.

Hero doesn't really cook. His schedule is always too busy to make anything that isn't quick. But he does eventually figure out that cooking for Sunny is the best way to entice him to eat, so when he makes something, he makes enough for both of them. They eat together.

Hero had to gather Sunny's change of clothes from his apartment when he found out that the reason Sunny has been in the same clothes for the last week is because he's had no one to visit him. Not even his mother. Why?

[pigstepmp3-moved]

holy hell, gamers, i finally reached one whole thousand followers! how bonkers is that! when i first made this blog in december 2018, i was just trying to start over in a new fandom. ive been active on tumblr for a looong time (since i was like 11, which is. not great, but we wont get into that). i cant remember quite why i decided to remake, but i never imagined getting a higher following than i did before, but i did! 1000 followers is bonkers, i’ve never had a thousand of anything! i seriously cant thank each and every one of you enough, whether you followed me for 911 or for mcyt or for whatever!

now, since ive reached this absolutely bonkers milestone, im feeling particularly sappy! so under the cut, i have some friends and mutuals tagged who are super great n who are always an absolute pleasure to see on my dash! <3 again, thank you all so much! (ps, if we’re mutuals and i didnt tag u in this, that doesnt mean i dont love and appreciate you!! i mostly am just picking people to tag based off how often i see them on my dash! i love all of u so much <3)

♡ 911 FRIENDS ♡

(aka the ogs, aka the fire fam)

♡ @lovelessmotel ♡ emily!! god, where do i even begin with how much i love and adore you!! i know youre one of my big sisters, but wow i am so proud of how much youve discovered yourself since we’ve met!! like wow, look at this epic, gorgeous person whos one of MY close friends! im so lucky to be friends with you! thank you so much for being my friend, i appreciate you and all the sisterly advice you’ve given me more than i can ever put into words!

♡ @eddiediaz-buckley ♡ sav!! mom!! i love u so unbelievably much!! i am so unbelievably grateful for you and everything youve done for me! all the advice youve given me and all the times youve let me vent to you have been so important to me and i cannot thank you enough for all that. im soso appreciative of you and im so glad that i have someone as amazing as you as my mom/big sister (we’ll never really figure out our fams family dynamics, will we?) (ps, whenever i go outside and have my keys with me, its always so comforting to feel the keychain you got me! its like my moms with me everywhere i go!)

♡ @liesoverthec ♡ bonbonbonbon!!! i love you so much, you wouldnt BELIEVE how much i love you!!! im so glad we met bc you are so unbelievably kind!! there is a very good reason a nickname for u is bonbon bc you are just as sweet as candy!! maybe even more so!! i love having you as one of my big sisters, you give such wonderful advice and talking to you always makes me feel a million times better!! i love you and i am soso glad i get to call you my friend!

♡ @marauder-girl ♡ sabsabsab!! i love u so much, u funky lil future lawyer!! im so proud of u and i can hardly believe ur gonna be my Lawyer big sister!!! thats so awesome!! i cant believe such a rad person is one of MY friends!! how lucky am i!! i love having you as one of my big sisters, youre so kind and funny and talented and your advice has always been so helpful to me too! thank you so much for being my friend and for always being there for me!!

♡ @nighting-gale17 ♡ cait, my love, my wifey!!! wowowow i love u so much!!! im so glad we’re friends, you are so unbelievably lovely!! youre also so unbelievably talented like??? hey queen wanna hand some of ur writing ability over to the unfortunate (like me). i’m so glad we’re friends, youre so sweet and even tho we dont talk as much as we used to, i still have SO much love for you in my heart

♡ @africaneuropean ♡ rae, my father!! i love u so much!! i know we havent talked at all in. who knows how long. but i still have so much love for u in my heart!! you are so iconic and cool and funny, im so glad i met you n became friends with you!! ur one of the coolest people i know, i hope i can be as cool and mysterious and wonderful as you one day

♡ @evaneddie ♡ DHYL!!! dhyl pickle i love u so much!!! whenever u pop into my inbox with random nice messages, every part of me lights up!!! u are so kind to me and for what!! i miss talking to u as much as we used to, you are so sweet and you are such a good friend!! i love u n im SO proud of how far youve come with gif making, i still remember when u first started n youve gotten SO amazing at gifs lately!! i love u soso much n im so glad we’re friends, youre so awesome!!!

♡ @basil-the-writer ♡ des!!! i love u so much!!! i know we’ve never rly talked all that much but im glad we have interacted in the ways that we have!! u are so sweet n so talented!! like the fact that u have the patience for those lil video edits u do?? that is so cool!! all ur edits are so cool, i cannot imagine being able to make stuff like that without dying every single time. u are so cool n i love being able to call u my friend!!

♡ GRIFF ♡

(aka griff)

♡ @yawnralphio ♡ u get ur own section bc u are my only 911 friend who isnt an og, but thats ok bc u are so swaggy!! i love being friends with u griff, u are so cool and funny and i am so glad that u still want to be friends with me despite all of the horrifying things u’ve learned about mcyt from me jdhfajkdhfa. i love u so much n i am so excited to get to know u more n get closer to u!!

♡ FRUITBLR ♡

(aka mcyt friends)

♡ @fear-epidemic ♡ atlas u are so swaggy and funny!! tumblr funny man!! im so glad we’re mutuals, i love u a whole lot. that one time u me n wilby played bed wars together was so fun even if we’re really bad! n that one time we played on the fruitblr server while on vc was so fun, i loved talking to u n playing with u so much, we gotta do that again sometime. i love u so much chapin n im so glad we’re friends!!

♡ @netheritedream ♡ hari my beloved... i love u so much. like literally so much that its really embarassing. i am so glad u tagged me in that one follow forever post n put the offer on the table to let me join the server. i love being ur dumb lil husband!!! jus like actual fundy, i would risk it all to watch treasure planet with u. i love u sososo much, i wish i could live closer to u so i could actually talk to u more often </333 im going through severe withdrawal, pray for me. im gonna stop talking for now bc if i kept going on, this post would be several miles along n nobody has time for that </3 just know that i love u so much and i love having matching icons n i love being ur husband, i love u so much

♡ @sootswilbur ♡ tommy... i care you so much. little bromther!!! im sososo glad we’re friends bc u are so kind to me all the time n u are so easy to talk to!! ur also so talented, ur writing n ur gifs are so amazing n im so proud of all the awesome stuff u make!! seeing u experiment more with ur gif sets n trying new things is so awesome n inspiring and i love seeing ur experiments work out!! i love u soso much n im so happy to be ur big brother!! (or one of them at least)

♡ @fruitbur ♡ virgil my Other beloved... i love u so much!! u are one of the kindest people ive ever met n im so glad i met u!! i know ive already told u this before but ur tagging system is so sweet n i love seeing u reblog my posts bc im like “yay alastair is gonna tell me that he loves me in the tags :D” i also lovelovelove ur theme, i love the soft pink and the lil aesthetic board that u have pinned, its so nice to look at!!! ily sososo much <333

♡ @theartofmining ♡ hey fruit ily. like genuinely, u are so unbelievably funny that u make my ribs hurt so much. i know we’re like never rly that serious but i love u so much. as much as i joke about hating u, i really am glad we’re friends n i really look forward to becoming better friends with u. i love u a whole lot rain, i love seeing u on my dash bc ur full of good takes n funny posts

♡ @sapnaplive ♡ dream.... bonks our foreheads together... i care u so much. my other half!!! i love u with my whole little heart. u are soso cool and im so lucky to be able to call u my friend!! ur themes are always so cool, i wish i could be half as cool as them!!! ur art is also so epic like??? u are a triple threat: good at art, tumblr themes, AND minecraft building. and ur also so kind!!! u are one of the sweetest people i know, i love u so much and im so glad im friends with u!!

♡ @dreams-little-kitten ♡ corn u are so weird and i mean that in the kindest way possible. u are so cryptic n i love that so much about u. ur like the wilbur to my philza sometimes and i think thats so awesome. that one time u came into my inbox to talk shit about that one cuphead boss was so funny and absurd, i loved that so much. i love You so much. i love how ur just so effortlessly funny, n im so glad i can be friends with u

♡ @dreamsmp ♡  JEL!!!! i love u so much holy cow. u are so sweet!! all the time!!! ur also so talented, ur gifs always look so good!!! i love being friends with u, ur always so nice to me n u always leave rly nice tags when u reblog my gif sets that make me so happy!!! i think about that one time u rbed my fundy gif set n said��“FUNDY GIFS” and “GIFS BY FUNDY” it made me so happy!!! i love u a whole lot, im so glad we’re friends :)

♡ @leaguelol ♡ damien!! i love u so much u funky little cryptid!! i love when u pop into the gc just to share cryptic thoughts, u are so strange but i think thats so cool of u!!! i honestly see u kinda like a lil sibling, im always so proud of u when i see ur art on my dash!! u are so talented at art!! i love u so much n i love being ur friend, ur rly sweet n i love seeing u on my dash and in the gc!!

♡ @its5undy ♡ idk why im putting u on this, ur my mortal enemy. jkjk, i actually love u a lot clay! i love joking around with u, ur so funny and for what. im so glad u joined the gc bc i love talking to you so much!! i still love that one time u reblogged that fwt gif set n tagged me in it moments after I reblogged it. i love that u thought about me, that rly warms my heart! i love being friends with u sososo much

♡ @cavalreee ♡ oh hey, another great big fruit!! i dont think we talk all that often, which is a shame, bc ur so sweet!! and also so fucking funny, why is everyone in this friend group so fucking funny, its not fair. i love seeing u on my dash talking with ur other friends, u always have the funniest convos ever. also? ur desktop theme is SO epic, it threw me off the first time i saw it but its so swaggy, just like u!! i love u soso much azzie, n i hope we can talk more in the future bc ur so cool

♡ @technosoot ♡ i love u even tho ur a br*t /j /j /j. jannat u are so unbelievably sweet. im so glad u joined the gc bc u are such a kind presence both in there and on my dash! u radiate very Warm, Friend energy. ur friend shaped. i love u so much n i love being friends with u!! im very eager to become closer friends with u bc u seem like a really amazing friend to have

♡ @sortasortaspicy ♡ les where are u in the gc i miss u </3 i love u so much, u fit in so well from the very beginning n brought so much more fun and laughter into the gc. i dont know u all that well n i dont think we’ve talked one on one like. at all. but id love to get closer to u bc ur so rad and ur so sweet!!

♡ EPIC PEOPLE  ♡

(aka mutuals who are so cool n id love to be friends with u pls talk to me)

@eurytherm ♡ @vampkings ♡ @weelbur ♡ @wilburtheesoot ♡ @quackityskarl ♡ @wimblrscoot ♡ @technofarmer ♡ @wooteena ♡ @bloodforblood ♡ @smpsapnap ♡ @literallynotfound ♡ @hearty-an0n ♡ @enderanboo ♡ @springbonniecpu ♡ @pandascanpvp ♡ @tommylnnits ♡ @strawberrygogy ♡ @timedeo ♡ @nymika-arts ♡ @h-isforhome ♡ @eboykarl ♡ @joe-alkaysani ♡ @betwecouldmakesome ♡ @squirrelstone ♡ @maddieandchimney

[foryouthegays]

also if anyone wants me to transcribe a clip pls send an ask :) or find something :)

good laugh times: 00:40:10, 00:44:44, 00:54:30, 00:55:47 00:58:37

sellout timer: 00:30:40, 01:26:00

other things: (00:10:00 biiiiiig stretch!!!) (00:39:55 that was the most ‘skeppy tried to troll me but i trolled him first’ scream ive heard in a while a;lskdjfadl) (01:23:00 TECHNOSNEEZE TECHNOSNEEZE)

summary:

Technoblade starts the stream and finds an infinity room (a room covered in white item frames and backed with glowstone or sea lanterns, making it look like there is just Void and no end) covering his house. he removes the grief and continues his intro. While waiting for Tommy to join his VC, he finds a Zombie villager, cures it, and reads donations.

Techno and Tommy go to New L’manburg and fix one of Technos propaganda posters. They find Fundy and Ranboo and tell them that if Techno gets his sword back, he’ll help them fight the wither he’s going to spawn. He spawns the wither and runs around while Ranboo and Fundy try to kill it. He doesn’t get his sword back until a few minutes into the battle. Ranboo gives him both his sword and his axe after the Wither is killed by Punz and Fundy.

Fundy gets the Wither Star, and Techno decides that it’s rightfully owned by him. Tommy and Techno start torturing Fundy into giving them the Star. After Techno gets the star back, Tommy starts trying to get his disks back. Techno tells Tommy he’s going too far, and Fundy starts crying, and eventually dies.

Tommy and Techno start to move back to their house, and Tommy gets distracted with the idea of blowing up the community house. Techno convinces him otherwise, and eventually comes clean with his intentions and goals to destroy L’manburg. He asks Tommy to join him, and Tommy accepts.

They go to the wolf army and breed the dogs. While underground, they’re almost caught, but they run away before anyone can catch them.

Techno and Tommy talk about an eventual SBI meetup, make a beacon, and then end the stream.

loud startin the stream today!!!!! :D!!!!!! 10 sec in

oh hes actually loud today this is great his voice gets so nice when hes louder

00:00:30 ‘i’ve made a severe and continuous lapse in judgement” s;ladjfkald

00:00:50 diD HE MAKE AN INFINITY ROOM OR???? IS HE JUST????? WH AT???

oH MY GOD IT IS AN INFINITY ROOM AKSDFJALSDF IS THAT IN THE ACTUAL SMP OR????

aa;lskdfjasd someone mADE AN INFINITY ROOM A;LSDKFJASDF WHO????

00:03:00 i love how even minecraft g o d s cant remember fence gate/fence crafting recipes akdjhfald

00:04:45 ‘gUYS DON’T STAY IN SCHOOL!!!’ ‘n- no you should stay in school’ yeah, sure techno ‘collage dropout’ blade

00:05:17 ‘tommy, is this your credit card? let me read the numbers aloud, tommy’ -technos impression of tommys mom

zombie villager pog!

LISTEN TO HOW HE SAYS CONVENIENT AT 5:45 AHHH I LOVE HIM

00:07:35 why does,,,why does techno say disorientating instead of disorienting??? he says disorientating and i just,,,,,techno,,,,techno thats not the American way of saying it. also i didnt capitalize american bc of Being A Country i did it bc of Emphasis a;lksdfal

he stretch!!!!!! ten mins in

techno ate breakfast pog!!!! 00:10:30

13:00 a;lksdjfal

---

STOP MAKING TECHNO GOOD AT CHESS IN GAME HES SAID SEVERAL TIMES THAT HE IS NOT I AM GOING TO SCREAM more proof: 00:14:40 also he calls the chess board ‘the map’ and im akjsdfhkljasd

00:15:40 “i don’t think that dumb people become Minecraft youtubers, I think it’s that being a Minecraft youtuber makes you dumber.”

00:15:50 ‘i was a smart child, I was doing well in school--I mean I wasn’t doing my homework or anything but I was doing well on the tests,” a;lsdkfja

“it do be doing that” -technoblade 2021

WHY DOES HE JUST RANDOMLY KNOW CHESS OPENING NAMES IM SICK OF HIM WHY IS HE LIKE THIS  I HATE IT HERE AALSDKFJASF 00:17:45 its so funny he just reads wikipedia for fun and also same

‘YOURE TALKING SOUNDS’ -tommyinnit, 19:40

00:20:05 ‘tommy, tommy, you’re speaking words, but the only universal language is sounds.’

00:23:24 “we’re going to go threaten....some certain government agents...in minecraft, since I know the FBI is listenin in on my phone right now [techno gets further from his mic and some thuds can be heard] let me just toss that over there...there we go, now they can only listen through my laptop”

00:32:17 mmmm technoyell

fundy n ranboo!!!! 00:33:50

god could u imagine knowing that technos doin a plot stream nd he joins ur call w tommy and they just???? start talking abt the canonical status of ants and new york????? such is the life of ranboo nd fundy a;lksdfjals

WITHER POG WITHER POG WITHER POG WITHER POG 00:39:20

00:39:55 how does he make that sound im crying

HE LAUGH!!!!!!

a;lkdsfjasd ranboo bullying time 00:44:00

god could u imagine being a fan of the dream smp, joining and ur surrounded by all these people uve looked up too, and then they start bulling you?? such is the life of ranboo

torture time!!! 00:46:15, its to get back the star :D

00:50:45 its lowkey terrifying how techno calls torturing fundy to tears ‘the good times’ and laughs while tommy interrogates him. i love it, but also im scared of him. still an apologist. he needs his stuff back!

also like,,,,,techno telling tommy he went too far? terrifying. if techno says you went too far, thats saying something

HE LAUGH!!!!

HE LAUGH AGAIN!!!

my favorite part of techno tommy interactions is how technoll say like, a metaphor or smthin nd tommy just,,,,,,,, ‘yeAHHH BITCH’ its so funny. a good example is 00:56:00:

techno: if you want to make an omlette, you’ve gotta break a few eggs

tommy: yeaaahhhh!! break eggs and bitch!

techno: ....what?

its so funny to me ak;dfjlasjf

and like, their rambles are COMPLETELY different. techno does most of his hopping around in his head and talks about it once he’s figured out what he should do, and tommy just says things out loud without thinking its hilarious

and like, in game, techno is a LOT more calculated than people think. when tommy tries to get techno to blow up the community house, techno has to rein him back in because ‘i’m all for violence, but we need a plan.’ and ‘how would blowing up the community house get your discs back??’ he’s a lot more organized than most of his teammates nd i love it

but like,,,sometimes techno just Says things and its great.  00:57:20 ‘the only dirt we have on dream is his dirt shack, amirite? [claps] gottem. he’s homeless!! eyyyy. lmao.’

00:58:20 is good. also skyblock is canon now.

01:06:50 SBI MEETUP SBI MEETUP

also ‘i dont know about smiling, but’ a;ldkfjadls;fjasf

i love tommy nd techno just kinda vibing

01:16:30 ‘mmmm audience retention rate....mmmm ants’ aldkfja this stream is so dumb i love it

dID TECHNO USE THEY/THEM FOR ERET AT 01:20:55 OR WAS THAT A GENERAL ‘EVERYONE ELSE’ THEY

1:23:00ish TECHNOSNEEZE

A;LSDKFJAS LIKE AN HOUR AFTER GETTING HIS SWORD BACK HE REALZIES HE HAS IT BACK HES SUCH A NERD 01:24:45

he sounds V tired rn a;lsdkfjkasdf

STREAM TOMORROW TOO??? P O G

[wychive]

𝙪𝙣𝙨𝙥𝙤𝙠𝙚𝙣 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙙𝙨

summary // you found your pile of ‘letters’ to hyunjin that contain thoughts that have never been said and decided to write to him one last time.

pairing(s) // hyunjin x gn!reader, hyunjin x oc, slight minho x reader

genre(s) // angst, letter fic 

warning(s) // mentions of food, themes of being forgotten, vulgar wording, humiliation, overthinking

word count // 2.0k

author's note // happy birthday @noya-sannnn​ !! im sorry this was so late hhh you know how i am irl,, but i hope you enjoy this! i love you so much, jane <3 i apologize for the many grammar mistakes gn. i recommend listening to iu’s ending scene while reading this! btw y/n/n means your nickname.

[10/01/14, 3:55am]

dear jinnie,

hi there! it's y/n <3 i hope you're doing okay - i mean of course you are pfft anyways, just writing this short letter (more like paragraph)  sort of as a venting mechanism? for things i cant tell you about lol  im not so sure how you would call it, since you're so much better at words than i am. basically were like:

hyunjin: ow a brain freeze!

me: haha brain go brrrr

anyways haha yea <3 it's 4am so like,, ill see you at school!

signed,

your loser,

y/n/n

[15/02/14, 12:34am]

yo heartthrob!

im back with this kinda stuff haha it's been a whole? week? since ive written one of these so like yes..hi! i just wanted to say thanks, for today. you really know how to cheer me up huh? you really outdid yourself by setting up that little picnic for us. congrats on making the strawberry cake so perfectly <3 this day will always stay as a core memory in the back of my brain. you're too caring sometimes,,, istg you'll pay for this [maybe hugs?] >:) 

signed,

your partner in crime,

y/n/n

[30/02/15, 01:29am]

jinnie-senpai~~

LMAO you hate me calling you that, doesn't change a thing though. hehe,, nways i hope you enjoyed your birthday present :) i got you that really cool skateboard that you wanted. i worked my ass off for that in my mother's garden so like,, you gotta thank me for that a thousand times :D nah jk, its a sincere gift, from me to you. i rarely do this for ANYONE so consider yourself lucky to have a best friend like me -3- also, seungmin is like….kinda the cutest person ever. introduce me to him pls, thank!

signed,

<your bestest friend3,

y/n

(p.s. you're kinda cute too,,,, ig,,, still stinkee tho)

[13/04/15, 9:04pm]

hey 'baby' (HAHAHA ihy for this)

i hope your day was okay! i didn't see much of you today (which was sort of a bummer but wtv) so like…. uh yea. you told me you were doing okay over text, which kinda surprised me because like?? we always video call lol this is kinda the first time,, but its okay, i trust you! (i really hope youre doing alright tho, i'll beat anyone up if they make you sad >:( ) you also called me 'sweetheart' today which was like…. omg wtf haha????????? that was so weird to me for some reason… a good kind of weird :D we haven't done those kinds of nicknames in a while so…. happy to know that they're back in session <3 i talked to the new girl today, she's really cool! like she knows the bean song on tiktok so like its a total win heh, ill introduce you to her tomorrow! you'll love her a lot

signed,

your 'lover',

y/n/n

[08/06/16, 10:23pm]

hey howl (hehe go back to that movie night we had)

this spring break sucks so much,, esp because youre not here (you still couldve brought me along :'[ ) but wtv i hope youre enjoying yourself. ive been hanging out with yeonnie lately and i found out she likes conan grey too like pls i love her sm. can we adopt her?? please???? she told me you guys have been video calling too and that makes me so happy!! you two are getting along so well aaa my precious babies </3 

what if you developed a crush on her? haha…..jk unless?? (no jk dont shes all mine, stay away >:) ) anyways, i hope the three of us hang out soon. maybe go to that ice cream parlour where they serve the best cookies and cream?  

signed,

your daisy,

y/n/n

[19/07/15, 01:23am]

peepee poopoo hello

heyheyhey!! (heh, haikyuu thingz) i hope youre doing okay! i mean sure you are, with everything going so well. also i feel like you're not telling me something. maybe it's just me? is it? i hope it is because you tell me everything,, we've been talking less these days but its okay! i know how busy you are, especially with your dad always bugging you,,

also, i think yeonbin likes you :0,, she keeps talking about you whenever we hang out. don't get me wrong, its not bad that she likes you but...something doesn't feel right. i feel like i'm being the third wheeler here and like ugh idk. haha laughs yea i think its just me.. im sorry, i didnt mean to do you like this,, anyways, ill see you soon + her too ofc- yall are inseparable lmao

signed,

your moonlight,

y/n/n

[23/07/15, 01:56am]

greetings, kind sir

lol more like mean sir but like aight KSKSK,, anyways,, how have you been? we haven't really talked in a while,, our convos are always so short with it being one-sided :/ i wish you were online more. yeonnie is ignoring me,, do you know why? i think you do,,, but when i asked you just said you didnt know. did i do something wrong? pls tell me.. 

she blocked my contact the other day and she won't even smile at me when i pass her in the hallways. its,, sad and stressful especially because she was the only one that would genuinely talk to me. i hate to say this,, but i miss you. us, hanging out like the best trio we are, yknow? but i dont think you miss me the same way. sorry, im getting out of hand. i know im just overreacting. im just gonna sleep ig,, good night! sweet dreams,,

signed,

your pink lemonade,

y/n/n

[25/07/15, 03:25am]

hi there

i heard you and her got together?? congrats, jinnie! im so proud of you,, especially because you never had even considered getting a girlfriend a few months earlier lmaO you really woo the ladies huh? anyways,, i hope you've been well since we last talked,, how many days has it been?? i would say nearly a week or so but honestly it feels like a hundred years,, considering you and i used to talk every day. but you have her now to keep you company.

keep this a secret but can you possibly tell me why it hurts when i see her? or when i mention her or even think of her?? is it because she's connected to you? but.. you're my best friend, so why? is it because i miss you? is it because im alone now? is it because you left me with a simple 'i have to go now,, bye y/n/n.'? im not sure either. im being silly, i apologize. ill figure it out sooner or later. sweet dreams, jinnie

signed,

your asswipe,

y/n

[25/07/15, 04:30am]

jinnie

it's because i love you. 

signed,

your butterfly,

y/n

[??/08/??, 05:??am]

you

i miss your lame jokes. i miss your smile. i miss your laughs. i miss your funny faces. i miss the way your eyes twinkle. i miss th way you would make me happy just by doing the bare minimum. i miss the disaster you made when cooking breakfast. i miss the night when you snuck me out just to go to that pretty lantern event. i miss when you would call out my name everytime we met. i miss when we would share earbuds in train rides. dont you get it, hyunjin? i miss you.

[??/??/15, ??:??am]

asshole.

please tell me that isn't true, please. you're too kind to do these kinds of things, right? + i was your best friend,, then, why, why did you hurt me like this. i didnt do anything wrong.. you couldve just told me you didnt like me,,, why did she have to tell me? out of all people. 

youre so pathetic for this,, i thought you were brave, bold - but youre just a fucking coward. i loved you, i really did. and i realised too late… im sorry. she,, i shouldn't have talked to her in the first place, right? i bet you knew she humiliated me, in front of everyone. of course you did, you were the only one that knew. you told her. fuck, i hate you so much (yet why do i long for you on a night like this?). you know how much that'll affect me and yet, there you are, laughing about it with her.

signed,

fuck off,

you know who i am.

[31/08/15, 03:41am]

ah, jinnie

please tell me this is just a nightmare. please, please. stop just reading my texts, please answer them. jinnie. i miss you so much. i dont care bout her, please just let me be in your arms. i dont care if you love me back, please just talk to me at least. tell me what i did wrong,, jinnie,, please,,, clear these tear stains on my cheek with kisses.

signed,

your fuck-up,

y/n

[15/09/15, 04:59am]

jinnie

why do i keep crying because of you? its been a few weeks since everything has happened. please, nothing has changed. i still love you the same even with all the hatred i have pent up in this stupid brain of mine. i wish i could just walk back in time, to where it all began.

when i first met you in third grade and you pushed me while playing soccer or maybe when we took those ridiculous prom pictures, remember those? i hope you still have them,, because i do too. i hope the pictures of us on your wall still hang there,, it'll remind you of the happy times. hm,, maybe you don't need them. 

you already have millions of pictures with you and her,, i bet you printed some and replaced those with ours right? sly dog. 

signed,

friend,

y/n/n

[04/02/16, 12:57am]

hey

i went to the park today and saw both of you being happy. it's nice to see your smile again. im sorry i didnt go up to you,, i just thought it would be awkward. when i heard that adorable laugh of yours, it made me realise that i lost something special. but it's okay isnt it? as your happiness matters more than mine. 

signed,

y/n

[06/01/20, 08:00pm]

dear hyunjin,

im doing fine here. how about you? gosh,, how long has it been? years? since we last talked to each other. i havent heard from you since. i would just like to say i still think of you sometimes, when watering the plants or dancing while making pancakes. sometimes i think you're here with me too, just being the pals we were. 

sometimes i'd see you out, just reading a book in the park or buying pasta sauce at the grocery store. it's nice to see you having a stable life. im not sure if you're still with her or not, but its good to know that you still have that large friend group. also! you're never gonna guess who im dating--

it's minho! do you remember him? the one that i used to hate,, uh yeah. he asked me out the other day- you may wonder how tf,,, i too do not know how tf but he gives the best hugs ever. he gave me the love i wanted from you. he stitched my heart back together after it broke,, i love him so much, jinnie..

it's snowing,, do you remember when we would skate on the frozen lake in front of your house? are your parents well? i wonder if your mother still has those earrings i bought for her birthday. i never told you this but your laugh and hers sound so similar. 

i would just like to say thank you, for everything. you were a big part of my life, up until now. when we see each other after this, we would just be strangers. maybe flash a little smile or give a little wave whenever we greet each other but nothing more. some memories of us would flow in every now and then but it'll just be a short teaser. well, i'll be going now. smile for me, okay?

signed,

the one that loved you the most,

y/n.

taglist // @/noya-sannnn, @crvgio​ , @neo-shitty​

reply to be in my gen taglist!

[peachcitt]

peach's top songs to project adrien agreste onto: waterparks edition

(disclaimer: the title is not to say that there will ever be other editions, but i did want to specify that this list is entirely comprised of songs made by the band waterparks. thank you)

ive been experiencing adrien agreste brain worms in relation specifically to waterparks, which is one of my favorite bands, and since ive been going insane over the adrien-specific feelings these songs have been giving me, i decided to make a master list of exactly how i project adrien onto these songs. this is going to be a long one

structure:

Intro

Airplane Conversations

Black Light

Cluster

Double Dare

Entertainment

Fandom

Greatest Hits

Conclusion

1. intro

it should be mentioned that i originally started hardcore projecting adrien onto waterparks songs after i started making my mlb radio rebel au in which adrien is a pop singer for his dad/in a band for fun with his best friends. i was trying to figure out what adrien's music might sound like, or what vibe his music would give off, and my mind immediately went to waterparks because they're one of my favorite bands and also because im insane.

in my head, for the au specifically, waterparks' earlier garage-band sounds from their EPs (airplane conversations, black light, cluster) would've matched up to adrien's band for fun in the au, and their later more pop-leaning songs from later albums (mostly fandom but also double dare and entertainment) would've matched up to the pop songs he released under his father's label. so that's how it started, which is, like, the most absurd origin story ever, but such is how it goes.

it should also be mentioned that i don't project adrien onto EVERY song, and the songs i do project him on aren't like. the most perfect fit, but there are always certain lines that scream adrien, and if it's like that, then i will include the song on the list.

with that explained, let's actually talk about the songs i project adrien onto and why:

2. airplane conversations

like i mentioned earlier, waterparks has a couple of garage-band sounding EPs, and this is for sure one of them. airplane conversations is the first EP they released, and the main themes are: feeling stuck, recognizing the fact that you are Growing Up, and being in love

5/5 songs on this EP can be considered adrien songs

silver

the song starts with:

"i’ll be the silver lining around your fence used to protect yourself from all the world and its sharp teeth 'cause my open hand and heart think you belong with me"

which is very ladynoir-esque. the beginning line of wanting to be "the silver lining" around the other person's protective fence against the rest of the world reminds me so strongly of chat's place as ladybug's partner; she wanted so badly to guard herself against the rest of the world after she became the guardian, and chat saw that and wanted to be her bright side to all the stress of being the guardian/a superhero. he stayed beside her and joked around because he loved her but also because he recognized that he needed something bright - a silver lining - to balance out all her stress. and "my open hand and heart think you belong with me" is pretty self explanatory, but chat's heart is always open for ladybug - as a partner, as a friend, as a potential lover. he supports her, in any and every way she might need.

in the second verse, we get:

"I was the one who kept myself standing tall You were the light at the end of the hall"

which relates to adrien enduring his dismal home life. his father and the work his father imposes on him isn't easy, but adrien was and still is able to stand tall beneath it all - partly because of what he wants for himself (he ran away to public school entirely on his own, after all), but also because ladybug is there to mark and signify the freedom and love he feels with her as chat noir.

bones of '92

so bones of '92 isn't. like a super adrien song, mostly because it's very much about the struggles waterparks was having as a new band, however the outro is. well. it's:

"i won’t let you down just promise that you won’t forget about me can’t stop the future from settling but i can change the way it feels just promise that you won’t forget about me"

this feels like adrien is speaking to his father in the first couple of lines ("i won't let you down / just promise you won't forget about me") because of how much of a strict and absent father gabriel is. i think adrien, at least in part, believes that the only way he is able to gain affection from his father is by doing exactly as he says and going along with what his father wants.

the next couple of lines ("can't stop the future from settling / but i can change the way it feels") is adrien's hopeful call to the future. he's stuck right now with his father, and he maybe even thinks that he'll always be stuck doing what his father wants, but he can change how he feels by being chat noir. by being chat noir, adrien is taking hold of his own future and his own feelings, shining a positive light on the future that he may not have had before.

the last line, a repetition of "just promise that you won't forget about me" could again be talking to his father, another plea after expressing his own desire, like he thinks that his father won't approve of him wanting his own things. or it could be adrien talking to ladybug or even the city itself; adrien loves being chat noir, but he's not really as popular as ladybug, and he also fears his relationship with ladybug. he needs frequent reminders from her that he's valuable and important to her, and so this fear of being forgotten - by her or Paris - tracks well with his character.

i was hiding under your porch because i love you

also not a huge adrien song BUT the line "it's just you and me / through all these inconsistencies" screams ladynoir

they all float

again, not a huge adrien song but my powers of projecting are unmatched and the line "this time i'll do things the way you wanted / it's not right, but it's just the way you wanted / lay it all on me, 'cause i'm all ears" is another adrien to gabriel line.

fantastic

i did not really consider this an adrien song until i looked up the lyrics and realized it was. im right. we have the chorus:

"i can't imagine fast enough to settle on a dream but i've spent this winter wondering when they're gonna settle on me and there's some things i've just gotta know but one thing's for sure"

which is another inscription of adrien's hopelessness in regards to his position with his father; he's never been given the opportunity to truly figure out what he wants for himself, and so he doesn't even really know where to start. the "one thing" that's for sure can be interpreted as the controlling hand gabriel has on his life, or it can take a more hopeful tone, considering that we have seen adrien take those first steps to move out of gabriel's control - by going to public school and by becoming chat noir. the "one thing" for sure could be gabriel, but it can also be that, for sure, adrien will always find ways to escape gabriel.

in the post chorus, we get:

"and i can't wait to go outside and spend my summers contemplating what I'm gonna do with my life"

which lends hope to adrien's "one thing" being him able to escape because of the excited tone of the lines. he "can't wait to go outside" as chat noir, outside of the mansion, and take time to contemplate what he wants from his own life, for himself.

3. black light

black light is the second EP waterparks released, and it's another garage-band sounding EP. the main themes of this EP are: being frustrated with your situation and the people in it, and wanting to carve out a better future for yourself

4/6 songs on this EP can be considered adrien songs

christmas

this is!!!!such an adrien song!!!!!! this is one of the songs that i picture adrien's band playing in my au i mentioned earlier. we start the song with:

"i fell asleep last winter woke up and it was august not much has changed, yeah, i still feel the same but i’m slowly making progress"

which fits into the themes of adrien's character i talked about during airplane conversations of adrien going through the motions of what his father tells him to, but slowly trying to break out of that control and make progress for his own goals.

in the chorus we get:

"i’m just waiting and i’m just saying maybe the end is near but all that means is a new beginning"

this isn't like. super adrien related but i still think it deserves mentioning because of how it progresses through the song (which i will mention in a second), but i think it relates well to the "growing up/fearing the future" stuff we've talked about.

we get a featured singer sing this part (which in my au nino sings, it doesn't matter):

"i’m just waiting for my chance to put a picture of me, put a picture of me in the dream scenes of dream scenes of dream scenes of dream scenes of my ideal future"

which, again, relates to adrien wanting to be able to call his future his own, outside of his father.

and in the outro, we get the lyrics from the chorus changed up a little, so that we get:

"i was waiting and i was saying the end wasn’t ours to fear and all it meant was a new beginning"

in my head, because of the way the tenses change from present to past, this would be adrien's perspective after the events of his childhood and teenage years. but because his youth is also so tied up with being chat noir and defeating hawkmoth (who is his father) i think this is such. this is such an emotional and hopeful line, looking at this from adrien's point of view. after defeating hawkmoth, despite how truly grueling that might be for him, he becomes free from gabriel's control. growing up, defeating hawkmoth, facing the end of childhood means adrien can have a new beginning. he can have his ideal future.

american history

american history isn't fully adriencore but the line "the action's a fraction of how much this hurts" is very much "we're teenage superheroes fighting supervillains every day and somehow the action of the fights is not the worst thing that's happening in my life"

new wave

i actually named my au after this song because it's such a bright, upbeat song against adults who try to tell you the way the things you do isn't right. it fits right in with the theme of the au, and it can also be applied to ladybug and chat noir's fight against hawkmoth.

in the first verse we get:

"call it new wave say it like you should because a call to arms is a calling card and i’m calling soon hoping i can get through to you"

which is like. hawkmoth is "calling to arms" his akumas, which in turn acts as a calling card for ladybug and chat noir. the "i'm calling soon / hoping i can get through to you" is chat noir specific because of the fact that hawkmoth is his father; instead of just defeating him, adrien will probably feel some empathy towards his father and want to get through to him.

in the pre-chorus, we get:

"every single time you throw your white flag down and surrender like every single second's just another second spent to lose but this is something i can’t lose"

which translates to hawkmoth akumatizing a new person nearly every day but still pulling back and "surrendering" after the akuma is defeated. he's playing the long game; he's confident that, eventually, he'll defeat ladybug and chat, and so he doesn't really care if he loses another day. but for ladybug and chat noir, this is life or death. they can't afford to lose to an akuma even once or else they lose the miraculous, maybe their lives, and definitely paris. they can't lose.

the outro is a variation on the intro and it's:

"call it new wave until it's all washed up because we'll be crashing soon but before we do i hope i get through through to you"

which refers to ladybug, chat noir, and hawkmoth "crashing" together in their final battle, but, before they do, adrien hopes to get through to his father, connect with him. and maybe that might make the "crashing into each other" less severe.

night maps

night maps is another song that fit into my au; it starts with:

"i couldn’t keep up with watering myself down and so all that grew was the high tide until i drowned the oxygen had all run out and now i’m left dried up and standing here"

which translates to adrien being drained and watered down to be the image his father wants him to be. the rest of the song, however, is about finding a place for yourself and beginning the process of being yourself again, which, for adrien means being chat noir.

4. cluster

cluster rounds out the early garage-band EPs as the third and final EP. the main themes of this EP are: being separated from someone you love and feeling frustrated about your situation.

4/5 songs on this EP can be considered adrien songs

crave

this is a very bittersweet song about being in love, which makes it, for my intents and purposes, a very bittersweet song about being in love with ladybug. at the beginning of the song, we get:

"i wish i could forget you but it's out of hand i wish i was aggressive and had a plan"

in canon, adrien dated kagami, but still obviously had feelings for ladybug. he did, however, like kagami a lot, and so he might've wished that he could forget his feelings for ladybug, especially knowing she can't reciprocate and he had an amazing girl right in front of him. he wants a plan to get out of feeling for her and for feeling for kagami.

in the chorus, we get:

"i'm cravin', a getaway from the smooth talk, that's keeping me grounded to the, carpet in my room my quiet blue tomb of you"

as chat, adrien can't resist flirting with ladybug because that's the friendship they've established with themselves, and ladybug is always smoothly replying back to him with jokes of her own. her banter, as much as he loves it and values it, keeps him thinking about her when he's alone in his room instead of thinking about kagami. his love for ladybug shouldn't be - she can't love him back and he is in a relationship with someone else - and so his bedroom where his innermost desires come to light becomes a guilty sort of place.

territory

territory is so ladynoir it hurts. in the intro we get the lines:

"i wear my game face in your headspace where it's storming at least most days we are both like that we are both the same"

which translates to ladybug and chat meeting, at most points in time, in order to fight akumas - hence, they always have to have their "game faces" on. ladybug's headspace is "storming" most days because of her stress with being the guardian and fighting akumas - and they find solace in each other's company because they're both teenagers burdened with way more than they should be.

the bridge gives us:

"i'm gonna hunt you down cause i'm a handful i'm gonna freak you out but it's all substantial so bring me bad news anything you have to just to keep me on my toes"

which is how chat views the way he tells his feelings to ladybug; he knows she'll probably "bring him bad news" by rejecting him, but he wants to continue being around her in her territory - he wants to be her friend, and he also wants to keep loving her.

pink

pink can also be a song about adrien loving ladybug, especially with the chorus lyric of "you're one of my favorite few" which is just. SO sweet and romantic but anyway. in the pre-chorus we get the lines:

"i'll watch you from my telescope; my eyes stuck to my favorite show i barely get more than a glimpse but it's better than nothing, yeah, i know"

which is like. adrien doesn't really get to see ladybug often, at least not in a relaxed setting like he really wants to. he feels far away from her, but when he does get the chance to be near her, he tries to absorb as much from the interaction as he can, throwing out dumb puns, flirting, and generally trying to get to know her in between akuma fights. it's not the ideal way he'd choose to spend time with her, but it's better than nothing.

no capes

no capes is another song about adrien wanting to be different that what he should be (with lines like "the anything slash everything that i should be / but i don't want to be like that") but this one takes a more somber and scared tone, which could relate to the fears he feels as chat noir.

the pre-chorus is literally just the line "no one will ever love us the way that i do." for adrien, being chat noir is so important to him, considering his home life, and he knows ladybug likes him, but she doesn't love him. he loves their partnership, he loves her - he fears he'll be in a position where he's wanting this (being a superhero, being friends) more than she does.

in the bridge, we get the lines:

"i hope you watch me through the letdown 'cause no one will be here, be here forever"

which could translate to any anxieties he feels about what happens after they achieve their goal of defeating hawkmoth. adrien has a lot of issues - issues about adults in his life disappearing/dying or emotionally leaving him behind - and he doesn't want ladybug to be another person to leave him behind after everything is over. he wants to still be able to be friends with her, maybe even learn her true name. but he fears that won't happen.

5. double dare

with double dare, we've breached album territory: double dare was waterparks' first official album, and it started branching into more polished, pop-leaning songs. the main themes of this album are: being tired and frustrated with something that you should like and loving someone who may not love you back

5/13 songs on this album can be considered adrien songs

stupid for you

stupid for you is ladynoir. it's ladynoir so hard. i mean, we have lines like:

"you're yellow, i'm natural blue let's get together and be green like my insides"

which. okay i know adrien is generally seen as the yellow golden boy and he is! but like, looking at him in comparison to marinette/ladybug and actual color theory, he's more of a natural blue. he's more likely to fall victim to negative thoughts than marinette is; she's generally more positive, more 'yellow.' (also, when you consider that their character design colors are each other's colors when inversed, this also makes sense - adrien is 'blue' beneath his appearance and marinette is 'yellow') and the "let's get together and be green like my insides" relates because green is a chat noir color. he wants them, in their 'yellow' and 'blue' contrasting moods to get together and be green, like chat noir, who is generally silly and joking around. he wants them to be able to be silly together.

in the chorus, we get:

"hey, tell me what you want me to say you know i'm stupid for you hey, can you come and come out and play? you know i'm stupid for you"

which is like how he is after he's been rejected; he doesn't know what to say after she tries to get him to stop flirting. he wants her to give him blueprints of how to act so that she'll like him (i.e. what color rose he gives her), but he still wants to be around her and and joke around with her.

in the bridge, we get:

"Just double dare me And I promise now that I'll stay It's not like you're married but I still got carried away"

which further develops his insecurities in regards on how to interact with her - he knows she didn't like when he confessed to her, that it made her feel guilty and a little upset because she couldn't return her feelings, and he got carried away with his over-the-top methods. but if she were to ask him to stay with her, in any sense of the word, he would do it in a heartbeat.

in the second chorus, we get:

"you're playing ring around my head i wear you like a halo you're a symphony, i'm just a sour note i'll take what i can get the best is hard to grip when everybody wants you and everybody wants you"

which conveys how ladybug is always on his mind ("you're playing ring around my head") but he likes this fact - or at the very least he doesn't mind it ("i wear you like a halo"). he sees her as someone who is so good and so out of reach for him ("you're a symphony, i'm just a sour note") but he still wants to be around her as much as he can. he'll take what he can get in terms of her time and attention, because he knows how the entire city is vying for her attention - she's the face of paris and she's the guardian and she has her own life to attend to - he thinks that maybe to her, he's just another person in her life who wants her.

royal

royal is only kind of an adrien song with lines like "i'm two faced from your double exposure" about his conflicting personas between what his father wants from him and what he himself wants to be, and this is especially poignant because of the "double exposure" metaphor, like the cameras adrien is behind for his modelling jobs are what make him "two faced"

royal is also about working so hard but not knowing if the pay off is worth it, which also relates to adrien's job with his father.

take her to the moon

take her to the moon is a "adrien loving ladybug song" with lines such as:

"i wanna make my way into your kiss i wanna live inside your mind next to your favorite songs i won't slow my pace until your walkway i wanna lose my mood inside a late night phone call with you"

which such a sweet lovesick yearning idea that adrien has 100% thought about ladybug before. i rest my case

powerless

powerless is a ladynoir song. in the first verse we get:

"you know i'd make the time i'm just waiting on your green light yeah, i'll be at your porch by this time tomorrow 'cause i'm almost not fine, but i'd never let you know"

which is like. adrien is SO down to be anything ladybug needs - he has almost no time at all what with his father's schedule, but he will always make time for ladybug. he's literally just waiting for her to call, and he'll be there. but in terms of actually letting her know how important she is to him in his life, as both a friend and as someone he loves romantically, he can never tell her because he doesn't really want to worry her.

in the chorus we get:

"you're the only one that makes me powerless tonight all i am is losing track of time tell me why oh, oh you never really missed me back"

which leads us into the bridge:

"i want you to need me like i need you i need you to see me when I'm see-through it's sad but it's true: no one's waiting for you but i was thinking we could get away sometime yeah, let's call it a date and you can devastate my personal space i never liked it anyway"

and that tells us how strong his feelings are for her; they're so powerful that he's effectively powerless against her. but he feels as though he's the only one that feels that way - she never seems to miss him back. but he wants her to want him in the same way he wants her - he wants her to be able to see him, in all his details, and still like him. and he wants her to go on a date with him and actually get close to him - get up his personal space because with her, he doesn't actually want personal space.

i'll always be around

i'll always be around is guess what!!! another ladynoir song!!! the chorus gives us:

"you know i'll always be around i'd never never never leave you hanging out to dry because the world's gonna pass me by but if you wanted, i'd never never never leave your leave your side i'd never never never leave you out to dry i'd never never never get you off my mind"

which is so!!! relates to the previously mentioned ideas of adrien being willing to drop everything to do what ladybug asked. he's devoted and loyal to her - he always wants to be someone that she can rely on as both a friend and a partner, and, potentially, as a lover.

we also get the line:

"you stopped me in my tracks you caught me in a gaze"

which relates to the moment he fell in love with her when she stood up to hawkmoth in front of all of paris: in that single moment she'd caught him up into having feelings for her, even if she didn't know it.

and in the bridge we get:

"if there ever came a dark day (if there ever came a dark day) that crushed us out and took you away i'd chase you to the end i'd chase you to the end of the world"

which is so. so ladynoir. their relationship and friendship is constantly haunted by the threat of hawkmoth, and so this consideration of the terrible "what ifs" and the insistence that no matter what, he'd find a way to get back to her is like. yeah that's ladynoir.

6. entertainment

entertainment is the second album, and it continues leaning into the pop-alternative sound while still somehow sticking to the punk sound. the main themes of this album are: loving someone, loving someone who hurts you and isn't good for you, and feeling trapped in your circumstances

4/10 songs on this album can be considered adrien songs

11:11

this song is so!!!! adrien loving marinette core!!!!!! i actually wrote a fic that had one of the lyrics of this song as a title (my favorite set of stairs is the one up to your room)

the pre-chorus actually gives us this line here:

"my favorite set of stairs is the one up to your room and my heavy set of cares evaporates all around you evil comes in pairs and we like what we do you've got me feeling like a walking love song"

which just makes me think of the way adrien will be after the identity reveal happens. he already wants marinette to be ladybug (based off the sheer amount of times he's referred to her as 'the everyday ladybug' + every time he's gotten so close to discovering ladybug's identity and his brain has always gone, without fail, to marinette), and so when he realizes that she is ladybug, she'll quickly become the person he most wants to be around and the person he feels most comfortable around. because of how dismal his home life is, he'll probably spend a lot of time at her house, and he'll come to associate the stairs of her room with walking into love and comfort. he'll be absolutely smitten with her.

in the chorus, we get:

"i must've caught you from 11:11 the lucky number seven i try to hide with my words but you just find me clever i found a million places you'd be worth the chases to go-oh-oh"

which again just inscribes how strongly he would feel for marinette - and it's also kind of a pun because of how "lucky" he would be to have her. like. get it. lucky charm. anyway, his "hiding with his words" would refer to the way he disguises his feelings with humor, but she would be able to see past that - they would know each other so well. and, just like how i've said adrien is with ladybug, he would totally be willing to go anywhere and everywhere for marinette. this song is post-reveal adrinettecore.

lucky people

guess what fellas we have another song about adrien loving ladybug/marinette. after looking closely, it seems like we might have a post-reveal relationship sort of vibe here, but it doesn't really matter because bare bones? this song is about adrien loving ladybug who is also marinette.

we start with the verse:

"light us up until we pop i wanna burn bright 'til we're not let's keep each other safe from the world i'll be your optimistic black hole full of love i can't control let's keep each other safe from the world from the world"

which falls into the previously-discussed themes of adrien wanting to be around ladybug as much as he possibly can before they defeat hawkmoth and inevitable Something Different happens, and he also wants the both of them to stick together. the "i'll be your optimistic black hole / full of love i can't control" also relates to previously-discussed adrien themes where we know adrien is actually someone who is prone to negative thoughts, but he comes off as someone who is really optimistic, and also that he loves ladybug something fierce - it's a love that he knows has already scared her, but it's also a love that he feel like he can't help but feel.

in the chorus, we get:

"i know you said to mind my business but cupid sent me on a mission that's got me sitting, wishing, waiting for your call"

which plays into adrien's romantic nature conflicting with ladybug wanting to keep their feelings out of superhero work. regardless, because of his romantic nature, he will always be sitting and waiting for her to call him so that they can be together, even if it's just to fight akumas.

we also have the line:

"you've got me more than clumsy but you're my yellow, lovely"

which (SEASON 4 SPOILERS) after mr. pigeon 72 is like. adrien literally was so busy looking at marinette that he bumped his head against a car door. but he won't even mind!! because marinette/ladybug is a spot of brightness in his world that he absolutely adores.

rare

i am once again telling you that this song is about adrien loving ladybug. hear me out. i'm right. in the chorus we get:

"i just hope it's nicer where you are 'cause i only want to lift you up i guess i never really said enough for you to hear me where you are 'cause i only want to lift you up i guess i never really said enough so let me tell you now"

this is adrien hoping that, wherever and whoever ladybug is, she's living happily - at least more happily than him. he only wants to lift her up and support her, not only because he loves her, but also because he values her as a friend. but he feels like she doesn't know how much she truly cares about him - he feels like she brushes off when he tells her he loves her, so he wants to say it loud enough for her to truly understand.

and in the other half of the chorus, we get:

"my tired thoughts don't take vacations, oh no you float up in conversations, oh no you're my final destination, i know you're probably fine there just know i think you're rare"

which is where he tells her how he truly feels; he's always thinking about her, and when she comes up in conversation (which she does, she's ladybug after all), he feels some stress because he has all these feelings for her that his civilian self isn't supposed to have. and yet he feels like she's it for him - he loves her so much and can't imagine loving anyone else. she's his "final destination." and he thinks that she is so good and powerful and beautiful that she's rare in comparison to the rest of the world - which tells her how happy he is to have found her. (and, thinking about this line as if he's speaking to ladybug, it's funny for him to say that he thinks she's rare but refer to marinette as "the everyday ladybug." which really just tells you how highly he thinks of marinette)

sleep alone

we're rounding out this album with, you guessed it, another song about adrien loving ladybug. like. "i feel dead and a half but you're making me laugh" ?? which relates to adrien being overworked by his father but meeting ladybug in his spare time and managing to feel truly light hearted around her??

in the chorus we get:

"my face feels hot and blue my hands still count on you to let me down articulate and lonely enough for the two of us but if you want, if you want, if you want to you can call me on my phone, i'll run to you you won't ever have to sleep alone you can call me on my phone, i'll come to you you won't ever have to sleep, sleep, sleep alone"

which hints at how adrien knows that ladybug will continue to turn him down, but he can't deny his feelings for her ("my hands still count on you to let me down"). and he's lonely - isolated by his father - which he feels like he has enough to loneliness to cover the both of them, which is why he proposes that they stay together; he'll take on her loneliness, too. and, just like in all the adrien-loves-ladybug songs, we see that he is only a single call away from doing anything ladybug asks him too.

we also get the line "but if you want it you can have it, you can have me in full" which tells us that he respects her wishes to keep their identities a secret, and he understands that she doesn't have romantic feelings for him, but if she ever changed her mind - about either thing - all she would have to do is ask, and she would have him, entirely.

7. fandom

fandom is the third album, and it leans into not only pop-alternative sounds, but also rap and almost r&b alternative sounds. the main themes of this album are: wanting to be able to express yourself in the way you want, feeling separated from someone you love, and getting out of a bad relationship

7/15 songs on this album can be considered adrien songs

cherry red

starting off strong with the album's opener (which also starts with the ending music of the last song on the album which is- okay. this album's art. continuing on) which is - i'm thinking you're sensing the pattern - at least partly about adrien loving ladybug. cherry red is super short, and the only line that really applies is:

"cherry red you know i'd die for you"

which. cherry red refers to ladybug because of, you know, cherry red suit, etc. and the "you know i'd die for you" is. well. adrien has made it very clear that he will go out of his way during akuma fights to protect ladybug. it's not exactly dying, but it's close enough.

dream boy

dream boy is!!!!!!!! dream boy is THE adrien song!!!!! dream boy was the song that made me mold au adrien's band after waterparks, dream boy is the song that semi-inspired this post, dream boy is the reason i project adrien onto so much of waterparks' discography.

dream boy sounds a lot like a love song. but dream boy is, at it's core, a commentary on the way that media and fanbases treat conventionally attractive boys in the spotlight, and it's a commentary in the form of a bright, bubbly pop song. it's brilliant. it's adrien

the chorus, which is also the intro gives us:

"am i the boy you dreamed of? oh living in your subconscious, oh do you believe in love? oh and is it because of me?"

which is like. from the very start of this song, we get the idea that adrien (since we're supplementing the speaker as adrien, you get it) exists only as a the dream of a boy his fans have of the perfect boy. they believe in love because they love him, but they don't love the real him, they love the 'adrien' that they've constructed in their minds

in the verse, we get:

"build your expectations saturated and inflated 'cause i was born to be your favorite make me complicated i'm modern and i'm dated because i was born to be your favorite"

which builds on the manufactured feeling of adrien agreste. his public persona as a model was built by gabriel to make money - he was literally constructed as a teenage heartthrob "born to be your favorite" so that his father could profit.

and in the pre-chorus, we get:

"build-a-boy, pick my pieces overjoyed‚ never leave your heart destroyed, i'm your boy custom-made your beloved getaway i'm your favorite holiday you'll never be alone with me"

which is like. adrien is constantly rebuilding himself to fit the ideals other people want from him, and other people are constantly rebuilding him in their minds to fit the ideals they have for him. he isn't his own person - he's always belonged to other people, custom-made, depending on their preferences, to be the most likable he could possibly be.

high definition

high definition falls into the category of "songs about adrien loving ladybug while trying to be in a relationship with kagami." in my mind, i hear adrien in this song talking to two separate 'you's - both kagami and ladybug.

when the song starts, giving us the chorus we get:

"i'd love to be in love with you enough to write a love song, mmh i need to feel needed and i need it more than i let on"

which is adrien speaking to kagami. he wants to love her because he knows she deserves it and she's an amazing girl, but he can't. but he still needs that affection she gives him because he's lacking it in other parts of his life.

in the second half of the chorus, we get:

"i'll be home just thinking about it, maybe call like i used to but i'll just stay alone because alone is safer than with you"

which, in my head, is where he transitions to talking to ladybug. he still thinks about her and he wants to be with her, but he recognizes that those wants aren't responsible while in a relationship with someone else.

in a verse, we get:

"i know i'm not around enough to make me worth the wait it's like who wants to be close with someone who always goes away? and even when they're here it's like where's your fucking head at? why's it take so long to text back? you're so bad at loving people back"

which is where we see his relationship with kagami devolve. (SEASON 4 SPOILERS) i mean, this is almost literally why kagami breaks up with him; he's always running off for seemingly no reason, and even when he was around, he was emotionally distant because of his feelings for ladybug.

telephone

telephone is a HUGE ladynoir song. this is a song about how much chat wants to be able to get to know ladybug, which gives us lines like:

"i'd like to know your middle name let's talk about your parents and your future dreams i'm interested but distant to a fault and i'd never want to complicate your heart"

which is just like!! he wants to know all the little information about her like her middle name and her parents, but he also wants to talk about her and her dreams. he wants to know her, outside of the mask, but he knows that's not something she wants, so he tries to keep these wants tamped down.

the second verse gives us:

"i talk a lot, but we could fill your frames with pictures of our faces 'til we share a name i'm living on a target and you shot it with an arrow now i lost my self-control, i can't stop thinking and i'm thinking that i lost it all these aisles feel like miles where you go, i'll follow"

which, again, expresses his desire to be with her in her civilian life, even fantasies about marrying her. he is so stupidly in love with her - and, as i've talked about before, he is absolutely devoted to her. wherever she goes, he'll follow.

never bloom again

never bloom again is a little too sad for my to comfortably label it a ladynoir song but this line:

"now all the girls in los angeles look like you from a distance i tried to give you space until i stepped away from your brain and now i just miss it"

is very adrien-loving-ladybug-esque. replace 'los angeles' with 'paris' and you get adrien trying to find ladybug's features in every girl he meets while still trying to give ladybug space on their secret identities.

[reboot]

[reboot] isn't a really an adrien song, but it does reference dream boy, which is worth mentioning. in the chorus, we get the line:

"i never promised you your dream boy i'm better as your chew toy"

which could be like adrien's actual thoughts on his placement as paris' and his father's manufactured dream boy persona. he's not actually everyone's dream boy, he's just a toy for them to use a destroy.

zone out

zone out is a huge adrien song because it is literally just dream boy. zone out acts as a break before the last song in the album, and it is the lyrics to dream boy set to a softer, more lullaby-esque tempo and instrumental sound. it's a lot sadder than the normal dream boy, and you can really feel the fact here that dream boy is not a love song.

with zone out, we have adrien's actual quiet, sad feelings about dream boy. he wants to fill the dream boy role for his father, but he can't, really, because he can never live up to that level of perfection. he will always fall short.

8. greatest hits

and with that we have reached the most recent waterparks album. this album plays with experimental genre sounds even more so than the previous two, but is still unmistakably the "waterparks" sound. the themes of this album are: strange dreams and nightmares, struggling with being in the spotlight, and wanting to feel loved

7/17 songs on this album can be considered adrien songs

lowkey as hell

lowkey as hell isn't overtly an adrien song but the chorus plays on the common themes we've seen before:

"if you need me now i'll be there somehow i'll pick you up, we can ride i'll fly away like i bought my own airline i'll take you with me, we can ride"

which is basically that adrien will always be around to do anything ladybug needs - if she ever has the need to call to him, he'll always find a way to be there for her.

violet!

i won't go too in depth about it, but violet! is about a stalker and their victim, who is the speaker, and you cannot tell me adrien does not have any stalkers at all with the way the show portrays his fame. he's probably had to deal with his fair share of crazy fans, so i thought i'd mention violet! here.

snow globe

also not an overtly adrien song, but we get these lines in one of the verses:

"’cause all i hear is 'i love you so much' but it starts to mean nothing when my heart is shut from you my heart is shut from you my little tiny world is in your hands so shake it like a snow globe fuck my plans"

which talks about how the love adrien experiences as a famous model isn't the kind of love he wants - he wants feel loved by his father. but gabriel just uses him for the company - he holds adrien's tiny world in his hands, and uses that grasp to shake up adrien's world and disrupt the relationships adrien has with the outside world.

the secret life of me

this song is about fantasizing about running away to a new life, or to a secret life away from responsibilities, so like. adrien about how he's chat noir.

in the chorus, we get:

"sunbathe looking like a sunday wishing for a someday i could run away like that now i think i need a life or maybe 9 'cause i feel like i’m running out of time, yea

which plays on the ideas of running away. it's really fitting, i think, because of the reference to wanting 9 lives, which is definitely a pun adrien would make as chat noir

american graffiti

this is another song about struggling with being in the spotlight, which relates to adrien. in the chorus, we get:

"yeah, you've been reading all about me and you're loving what you found i'm like american graffiti you want some glitter, drink it down yeah, you've been seeing all about me taking notes, yeah, write it down i'm like american graffiti if you need me, i'm here now if you need me, i'm here now"

which relates to the themes brought up during dream boy: we have this circumstance of people finding adrien, learning all there is to possibly know about him, and deciding that they love this version of him they see in the media. the "if you need me, i'm here now" also refers to the dream boy theme because of how this version of adrien that exists in most people's heads will always be there to comfort them and "love" them in a parasocial relationship.

fruit roll ups

fruit roll ups is yet another adrien-loving-ladybug song in which he talks about wanting to invite her over so they can watch movies together and also how much he feels for her.

in the first verse, we get the lines:

"when you talk it's in cursive to me and it's nicer than anything i'd believe about me it's like that shit was written in gel pen and i love those"

which is not. super important but it's cute! also the line "and it's nicer than anything i'd believe about me" also might refer to the way ladybug reassures him of his placement as a hero and a friend in her life, which are things he continually finds hard to believe. so it's also sad!

crying over it all

speaking of sad this last song is another adrien-loving-ladybug song and it is. sad.

the pre-chorus is:

"so practice your passion on me give me your 100 degrees i'll die off whenever you need an afternoon just to breathe soon everyone will be gone they'll forget my albums, i hope you'll be here when it's done and i'm crying over it all, yeah"

first of all. i go insane every time i hear the line "so practice your passion on me." now that we've gotten that out of the way let's continue on. we have the line "I'll die off whenever you need" which refers to chat's tendency to sacrifice himself for ladybug during akuma fights, and these lines also express that familiar desire he has of wanting ladybug to stay beside him after the events of whatever will happen next actually happen.

and in the chorus, we have:

"and all i think about is where you might be and when i'm swallowed down i'd say it's for you, yeah, yeah, yeah, oh, oh i'd say it's for you, yeah, yeah, yeah"

which refers to how adrien wonders about ladybug when they're apart - he wants to know about her and how she spends her free time, but he can't know these things, not yet. and the line "and when i'm swallowed down / i'd say it's for you" would refer metaphorically (maybe sometimes literally) to the things he does during akuma fights for her to make sure they succeed.

and in another verse, we get:

"cherry red's your touch a touch i'm failing to feel, or feel enough to love you safely “who?”, “what?”, “when?”, and “why?” all drive me crazy please make me sane for you"

again using the phrase "cherry red" to refer to ladybug, her touch something that adrien can't feel enough of because their relationship is strictly platonic, but he wants more. he wants to know the 'who, what, when, where, and why's of her life, but he can't, and it drives him a little crazy. in contrast to being "stupid for her" back in double dare, he wants to be "made sane for her" so that he can have some feeling of peace in their relationship after getting rejected.

9. conclusion

the biggest conclusion we have here is that im insane. the second biggest conclusion we have here is that i have the amazing ability to project adrien onto a very large portion of waterparks' discography, and i'm right in doing so. an equally important takeaway is that adrien needs a hug and also that he loves ladybug. thank you for your time

[themfchase]

raven unit iv (m) jjk

Jeon Jungkook x Reader‒ raven unit. (m) chapter four: armstrong. ✎  [16k words] genre: political!Au, taskforce!Au, warcrime!Au warnings: smut, angst, slight bdsm, fluff (?), gore, violence, drug mentions, alcohol mention, graphic description of violence, death With your life at risk and several people around you dead, your loyal head of security makes sure your safety is taken care of when he’s out of the picture. Three ruthless, dangerous and deadly men take on the task to protect and hide you, Min Yoongi, Jung Hoseok and the one in command, Jeon Jungkook. masterlist. chapter one. chapter two chapter three. chapter five. chapter six.  .raven unit: drabble #01 drabble #02 a/n: I’m so sorry for the delay on this, and this chapter ended up being too long, so I decided to put what happens on the next chapter since there was still so much to develop. in the meantime, I hope you enjoy this update and let me know what you think! RU is slowly coming to a conclusion! Don’t refrain from sending me asks, that makes me really happy and gives me motivation. And also, please Like and Reblog so that others can read this little series! Thank you all so much for the love! You are all amazing! (if you see any mistakes, please let me know, this is highly unedited.)

Watching them was something.  Watching them in a neutral environment, laughing, making jokes, not on edge every second. It made it hard not to slowly fall in love with these boys. The way Jimin’s voice softened when he was embarrassed, the way Taehyung lifted an eyebrow when he felt challenged by his mates. No, his family. Everything, every single detail made you slowly forget the situation you were in, made the pain of everyone you lost more bearable. Even if everything seemed in place, for some reason though, you were still on edge; you were still scared, now not just for you, but for the ones that now had a place in your heart. What if you put these men in danger, what if someone got hurt because of you? The idea had you suddenly feeling unable to focus on the current conversation happening in the resting room, the boys all sitting around and having a casual drink. Your eyes shifted down to your lap, smile slowly faltering.  “Little dove, you ok?” His voice rang in your ear. You looked up at him, quiet as you observed his features.  You were in love with him, utterly, madly. The man that was in charge of keeping you safe, the man that had shown you his hard side, his soft one, even gave you a peek into his fragility. You knew almost nothing of him, yet you trusted him with your life. The mole under his lower lip, his strong sharp jaw, that scar on his cheekbone. You made sure you could remember everything... just in case.  “I’m ok.” You answered in a low voice. “Just tired from all the training, that’s all.” You smiled softly at him. You didn’t feel bad for lying, not when you knew he already had too much to worry about. He had calmed you down one too many times in the past two weeks of staying at Seamore, after you both had reconciled, you were suddenly waking up sweating, shaking, gasping for air, Jungkook would wake up next to you and calm you down, his warm body pressing against yours and shushing you with silent whispers, reassurance. He’d always ask you what you dreamed, and you always said you couldn’t remember, but you did.  You could remember seeing his face, seeing the snarl, how he’d laugh at you for being so foolish, how he’d point a gun to your head, his teammates all lifeless behind him, his doing, and he’d say “It was only a mission.” It was silly, really. You could see in his eyes the rawness of his feelings, you could feel it when he spoke to you, when he looked at you, just like he was looking at you now. Full of worry and care, love even.  He looked at his watch, breathing in.  “Time to call it a night, everyone.” He spoke, looking up at his mates. “We’re moving out tomorrow at six sharp.” Everyone in the room sighed, sure they were glad to finally leave Seamore, after all, you couldn’t really tame their wild spirits, but also, it meant that it was back to danger, back to the unknown.  As everyone bid their goodnight’s, you made your way to your room, Jungkook leaving you to quickly make sure everything was in order, Jin and him speaking at the door.  You changed quickly, making your way to bed, not really paying attention until you heard the familiar name being spoken.  “... He said he wants to talk to her alone when we get there.” Jin informed.  “Why?” Jungkook seemed concerned.  “He didn’t tell me, but he asked if you two were... You know.” Jin’s voice slowly lowered at the end of the sentence.  “Fuck.” Jungkook cursed. Your brows furrowed at his reaction. Even if you didn’t know a thing about this Namjoon guy, you knew that he answered to Jungkook like everyone else.  They finished up the conversation quickly after that, Jungkook entering the room and making his way to the locker.  You watched him silently, seated on the bed. It was almost domestic, watching him change. His clothes folded right next to yours, and it always made you shiver when he had his back to you, bare. Jungkook was a very well built man, to say the least. His back muscles clenched when he moved. There were times that you swore he did it on purpose, his sharp vision and awareness of you ogling.  When he was dressed, he flicked the lights off, making his way to the bed and sliding beside you. It was comforting having him there, laying against his chest, and hearing his heartbeat. Little did he know you craved hearing it, too afraid of one day, maybe not. He kissed the top of your head, wrapping his arms around your body and pulling you in. He must feel that something is off because he asked again.  “Are you ok?” His voice vibrated in his chest below your ear, you took in a deep breath, you weren’t yet ready for this conversation.  “Yeah, like I said, just tired.” You spoke out. “Hey... What was Jin saying about Namjoon, something about him wanting to speak to me?” You changed the subject, and it was Jungkook’s turn to sigh. “Is that a bad thing?” You questioned, tilting your head up at him.  “Namjoon is... Invasive.” He started. “He’s the smartest guy I’ve ever met, but he’s analytical and he digs deep enough to have you question your own truth.” He looked down at you.  “So, you think he’s going to interrogate me?” You questioned, hand resting on his chest now, tracing the scars on his skin.  “I wouldn’t call it interrogating, but he’s going to want to understand the nature of our...” He paused and you couldn’t hold back the smile on your lips, lifting yourself on his chest and hovering over his face.  “Our what, Jungkook?” You smiled down at him. He, on the other hand, didn’t smile, and you pursed your lips, your smile slowly shrinking. You looked into his eyes, seeing the question in them. After all, what was this? “It’s ok if we don’t know what this is. We can figure it out after.” You spoke softly, almost a whisper.  “That’s what I’m worried about.” His eyes gently fluttered.  You leaned in, pressing a kiss to his lips. Of course, you were always keen to him, but he was also extremely keen to you. He slowly melted under your soft kiss, one hand coming to rest on the side of your neck and face, the other hand resting on your waist. As you pulled away, you rested your forehead against his.  “When this is over, I’ll be yours, you’ll even be able to tell everyone your girlfriend was the president’s daughter.” You chuckled and this time he smiled, laughing along with you.  “The tabloids are going to have a blast when they find out you’re dating a war criminal and an ex-con.” He teased, biting into his lower lip.  “Maybe I’ll become an edgy icon who knows.” You lifted an eyebrow, and he pulled you in to kiss you again, this time deeper, full of intention. It was your turn to pull away, pressing a palm against his chest, breathless at the kiss.  “We have to rest, tomorrow is going to be a long day.” You told him and he quirked an eyebrow.  “Yes, Sargent.” He teased, yet his voice was low and raspy, filled with lust.  You knew that if you both had the time and opportunity, you’d be fucking like bunnies, you just couldn’t keep your hands off each other when you were together.  But eventually, you both fell asleep, you in his arms.  This time when you woke up gasping for air and sweating, Jungkook wasn’t in bed with you. He was up, fully dressed, and reading the black notebook he carried. His head shot in your direction, quickly making his way to you, sitting on the edge of the bed and resting his palms on your arms.  “Hey it’s ok, you’re ok... You’re safe.” He whispered and your eyes finally focused. “I’m right here.” You calmed down, hand lifting to your forehead to wipe at the sweat. “You should get up, get something to eat before we go, we still have time, I just didn’t want to wake you.” He spoke softly as he watched you calm down.  A few hours later, you were already fully dressed and had eaten breakfast alone in your room, waiting for them to come for you.  Jungkook opened the door, Jimin and Yoongi right outside, and you turned to him as he made his way to you.  “Ok, are you ready?” He asked, and you nodded. He sighed, reaching behind him to bring out a gun, similar to the one you had used in training with Jin and him.  “Safety on, safety off.” He gestured to the gun in front of him. “Fully loaded, 12 rounds.” He pulled to show you it was charged. “Remember, aim, breathe, shoot, don’t think.”  You took in a deep breath, nodding and taking the gun, already putting it in the holster that you had been given prior, you looked up at him, his silently looking at you, worried anxious eyes as now things were way too serious for him to risk losing you and before you could think, you were lounging forward, latching your lips onto his. He hugged your body strongly, kissing you deeply, eyes furrowed.  “Too much PDA,” Jimin grumbled and Yoongi chuckled beside him.  “Hey, love birds, cut it out, we gotta go,” Yoongi said.  Pulling away, you both looked at each other one more time in reassurance and he held out his hand for you to take. As he pulled you along with him to the elevators, you noticed that you didn’t know how this part of the bunker looked like.  Seamore was far bigger than what you had seen, but given that you were unconscious when you were brought here, you still didn’t know what the outside of it looked like.  The first thing you registered as the large industrial elevator lifted was the noise, cars, buses, people. But your eyes didn’t. Then you noticed you were under the sewers as the elevator opened to the dark, humid small space. You looked up, several feet above you was a tiny opening, you could see people walking, shadows.  “Come on.” Jungkook took you out of your thoughts, pulling you with him.  The space slowly became smaller, a dark musky hall lit by green lights, and you were all walking in line, Jin, Taehyung, and Jungkook in front of you and Yoongi, Hoseok, and Jimin behind. Your hand still held Jungkook’s firmly, picking up your pace as you followed right behind.  Soon you were out in a large tunnel, noticing the rails you were walking on, it was somewhat of a subway station, rats and roaches ran away from the sudden movement in the abandoned space. Everyone was attentive. Your hand hovered over the gun you barely knew how to use, ready to fire it if you had to.  You all must have walked for about twenty minutes in complete silence on the railings, noticing how the sound of the city slowly faded in the background, the only sound was now of cars and trucks somewhere above you, you looked back at the men behind you, bags slung over their shoulders, the only sound from the group was of heavy footsteps and breathing as you finally reached a gate. A large rusty metal gate that took over half of the tunnel opening, large cement pillars on the sides, behind it, you could barely see what hid under the black hoods.  Jin unlocked it, opening both sides wide, and Jungkook let go of your hand walking into the darkness. You stayed put, Yoongi coming to stand beside you, close enough for you to smell the body spray he used, his sharp eyes looking around.  They either were being extra cautious because of last time or they knew something you didn’t and as you watched the white-haired boy with a bag slung over his shoulder and his gun firmly gripped in his hand. You furrowed your brows, something was wrong, you could feel it as you looked at the other men, all of them had their guns in their hands as they uncovered the two big dark vehicles hidden in the dark. As soon as the hoods were lifted, the doors were wide open, and everyone moved, expect for Yoongi, who handed his bag to Taehyung, him handing the bag to Jimin. You watched them quickly load it, looking back at Yoongi in silence, and you saw him look beyond the dark tunnel and furrow his brows. When Hoseok sat in the driver seat of one car and turned on the ignition, strong headlights illuminated you, making you flinch, blinding you for a few seconds as your hand lifted to your eyes to shield you.  And that was enough time for Yoongi to yell.  “We’ve got company!” Your head spun around to where he was looking, eyes bulging, and before you even got the chance to see, you were suddenly pushed behind him. The six came into formation behind the cement pillars on each side as a hand landed on the back of your neck harshly pulling you back, you gasped, and the seconds between your lungs filling with air and the air leaving was all it took. Everything was too loud.  Shots being fired.  “Get her to the car!” Jungkook yelled and Taehyung pulled you quickly, shoving you into the backseat and pushing you down, climbing over you to protect you. Your breathing was violent, wheezing as you took large intakes of air and let it go, body trembling, the weighted of Taehyung above you didn’t help. Hoseok was crouched behind the driver door. All you could see were flashes of light going off repeatedly. You counted, you knew they were going to have to stop to reload, and you still didn’t know what they were shooting at, who they were shooting at, all you knew is that they were shooting back.  “We have to move!” You heard Jin yell. And suddenly they were all moving to the cars, running quickly from the shots targeted at them, at you. They moved fast, not bothering to buckle, Hoseok stepped on the accelerator and the car launched forward, speeding inside the tunnel. You could hear the tires scream against the asphalt,  as the reflection of Jin’s car lights shone through the review mirror, the light blinding you once more, so you turned your head, trying your best you stay calm. “Windows.” You heard Jungkook’s voice. There was one more person in the car, right next to your head, you just didn’t know who yet.  The shooting against the car never stopped, and they were shooting back through the windows. The darkness soon was taken over by the daylight, the car slightly jumping as it turned into a highway, you were out in the open, Taehyung lifted from you and opened his window as well, but he wasn’t shooting, he was just looking. You took that as I sign you could get up, pressing your palms against the leather and pushing your body, and you peeked through the back window. That was enough time for a shot to hit the spot, cracking the bulletproof glass. “Raven, stay down!” Jungkook yelled. And you gasped, pressing your head to the leather once more. This time you could see everything, Jungkook’s body twisted in his seat, aiming his gun out the window, Taehyung was on your left, head against the back of Jungkook’s seat, on your other side was Jimin, gun out just like Jungkook, shooting.  “Shit, shit, shit, fuck!” Jungkook cursed out in frustration as he came back in to reload, frows deeply furrowed and sweat starting to accumulate on his forehead, you hadn’t seen him like this before, he was usually under control of his reactions, emotions, he was furious, frustrated. “Taehyung, what are we dealing with?” He asked, not looking at him as he loaded his gun. “Four cars, about 15 men, they lost five back in the tunnels.” He spoke in a deep voice, calm for the situation. You saw Hoseok take a radio from the headboard. “Four cars, fifteen men.” He informed through it, receiving a quick. “Roger.” from the other end. It was Jin’s voice. You noticed they were short numbered compared to your car, that made your heart speed in your chest. Jimin came back in. Your eyes lifted to him. His hair parted in the middle, his cheeks flushed from the adrenaline, but he was steady. “How the fuck did they know we were here?” He rested his back against the seat, lowered as he loaded his gun, and looked at Jungkook.  “Someone from Jin’s crew must have tipped them off, especially if they know I’m the commander of this mission, they know we’re close.” Jungkook looked out the window. “Must have been waiting for us to leave at some point.” His eyes slightly bulged and your eyes shot up to the review mirror, watching as two of the four cars chasing you passed Jin’s and started closing up on you.  “Incoming!” Jungkook yelled, and the shooting started once again, your eyes screwing shut as you heard the bullets hit the car, again and again, the sound was all too familiar, you could still feel Thoma’s hand on you, hear his voice, it was making it hard to breathe. You thought you’d be used to it by now, used to the sound of the shots, used to the feeling of dread, but no, it seemed worse now that you didn’t know how Jin and Yoongi were doing.  The ground shook all of a sudden, the sound of a loud explosion being heard in the back, and Hoseok screamed out.  “Fuck yeah!” As he looked through the review mirror, both hands on the steering wheel, one gripping the radio and blown out eyes. “That’s fucking Yoongi!” He wore a large smile on his face, body pumping with adrenaline.  “Three cars, then men.” Taehyung updated, you were winning.  The cars slowly reached up to you, though, and the shooting only increased, the sound of firing guns and bullets making you dizzy.  “Ah, fuck!” You heard Jungkook curse as he quickly made his way back in and hissed. Your eyes shot open, looking at him, his hand over his face. Jungkook was hit? Was he shot? You started panicking, your already hard breathing loud and alarming. “Jungkook?” You called out, and he looked at you. His back rested against the dashboard.  “I’m ok, just debris.” His hand left his face and you could see the small cut on his cheek, opposite to his scar. Your heart hammered in your chest, and he looked at your alarmed expression, taking in a deep breath before he was looking out the window, aiming his gun. You watched him take in a deep breath, his chest filling as his hand steadied in the air, his eyes sharpening and pupils blowing, and he pressed the trigger, taking the shot. You heard loud tire sounds, then a loud bang and metal scraping against pavement before a very loud crash and the radio beamed in Hoseok’s hand.  “Bullseye!” Jin screamed through it, Jungkook pursed his lips as he lowered his gun. He looked at you, a cocky smirk slowly tugging at his lips before he winked, reassuring you he was most definitely in control of the situation and also a fucking badass.   It calmed you down, but the cockiness also turned you on, regardless of the situation. You slowly smiled back at him and his smile spread on his lips, noticing the change in your demeanor, noticing how you had calmed down, it was a mutual understanding, a silent one, he had decided to not put you through the worry that he might get hurt, so he ended it quick. The small moment was interrupted by the sound of Jimin’s gun shooting right beside you, Jungkook looked over as part of his upper body was out the window, right bare arm and shoulder out in the open.  “Jimin, don’t expose yourself.” He warned.  “I got it.” He argued, yelling as he took another shot.  “Jimin, that’s an order,” Jungkook spoke more firmly, the smaller boy slowly retracting into the car and turning his face towards his commander, not defying his order.   “Yes, Si-“ His answer was cut short by the sound of a hit and him hissing; hand clutching at his shoulder as his head fell back against Hoseok’s seat.  “Fuck!” He cursed out.  You looked up and watched as Jimin shirt slowly stained red, the blood trickling down his arm. Jimin was shot. Your eyes bulged, and you reached out instinctively, pulling him out of view and down with you on impulse, not even paying mind to Taehyung crawling over you both and taking over for him at the other window, gun pointed out, and aiming at the tires.  You quickly maneuvered the both of you, crouched over Jimin. Jungkook leaned over the middle of the car, alarmed eyes as he reached for his injured friend. Jiming squirmed in place as Jungkook grabbed his hand.  “You’re ok, it’s just a scratch, it didn’t hit you, just scraped,” Jungkook informed as he pulled Jimin’s hand away, assessing the wound, he heard Taehyung curse out, looking at your and Jimin for a few seconds. “Raven, I need you to handle him, can you do that for me?” Jungkook looked down at you, eyes always looking up to watch Jin and Yoongi’s car and Taehyung shooting against the two remaining vehicles.  “Yes, Sir.” You quickly replied without thought.  “I need you to reach back and grab the aid kit, it’s a yellow bag, stay down, don’t expose yourself.” You quickly nodded, Jungkook moving back to his seat and reloading his gun, starting to shoot at the far back vehicle still chasing Jin and Yoongi. Looking through the small fend between the seats, you finally found the yellow bag, squeezing your hand into space and grabbing it, sliding it up and over. Quickly pulling it into your lap you took out bandages and antiseptic, you were shaking, trembling fingers and shaky breath as adrenaline and fear coursed through your body. Struggling to open the antiseptic, you grabbed at Jimin’s hand, squeezing it tightly before you poard it over the open wound. It wasn’t that deep, and Jungkook was right, it wasn’t a gunshot, it was a gash, a big one, but still, a wound. Jiming squeezed your hand and cursed out several profanities as the burn hit him. Your face twisted in pain at the force he squeezed your hand and in sympathy as you remember your own experience with pain. Quickly letting go of his hand you grabbed gauze, cleaning as much as you could without hurting him and you just slightly gasped as you heard a second explosion boom behind you, ground shaking violently before Taehyung finally took his shot, the car chasing you overturning several times beside you. You could barely focus on the sounds as you mended Jimin. You did your best at wrapping him up, circling the bandages around his arm, and making sure they were in place. You rummaged through the yellow bag until you found bottles of pills, shakily opening them and offering them silently to a lidded eyed Jimin. Even if the look in his eyes were of pain, you couldn’t deny that it made you feel self-conscious all of a sudden. You were straddling him, directly seated over his middle, the yellow bag resting in between your legs, just at his stomach. You swallowed, and he shook his head, denying your offer.  “We’re clear,” Taehyung informed in a deep voice, settling back into the car once again, shifting in his seat as he closed the window. Not long after, Jungkook settled back in, back rested on the dashboard, and gun rested on his lap. He let his head fall back, eyes closing as he took in a deep breath through his mouth. You turned to look at him, noticing the little cut on his cheek, the small trickling of blood staining his perfect features.  He brought his head back down, opening his eyes and looking at you then at Jimin, eyes moving to both your bodies and how they touched, he lifted a brow and Jiming was sitting up, making everything on top of him roll down to the car floor.  You sat properly, just between him and Taehyung as you reached down to grab the antiseptic that had fallen, your hand met with Jungkook’s, yours gripping the bottle, his holding your wrist, you looked up, he was close, crouched over the middle once more and he looked straight at you, dangerous adrenaline eyes staring back. You shivered, swallowing and wetting your lips.  “We should, we should clean that.” You stuttered out. He pursed his lips, not moving, and a smirk tugged at the corner.  “I thought girls liked guys with scars.” He teased in a low voice, way too flirtatious for someone who had just been shot at several times. “You can keep your scars, but the blood is distracting.” You whispered back at him and he chuckled, leaning back again, letting go of your wrist.  You settled back, dabbing a gauze with the antiseptic and handing it to him as he shuffled in his seat properly.  “Everyone good?” The radio in Hoseok’s hand beamed. He brought the device up to his lips.  “Jimin was almost hit, probably gonna need stitches, Jungkook has a scratch... Taehyung?” Hoseok questioned, looking through the review mirror. The boy only gestured that he was fine.  “Taehyung is perfect.”  “Damn right I am.” He commented, making everyone in the car fall into laughter, even Jimin, as he clutched under his wound. After the laughter died down, the radio beamed once more.  “Jungkook, we might have more company on the way, especially if they made contact with someone.” It was Yoongi’s voice this time. It made you feel like a weighted lifted off your chest and you didn’t even notice you were worried until you heard his voice and confirmed he was safe.  Everyone in the car looked at each other, Jungkook taking in a deep breath, grabbing the radio from Hoseok’s hand.  “We change our course, going to take us a little longer to get there but, it’s better than risking them surprising us ahead.” He spoke and shook his head. “There is a chance they know where we’re going, might want to warm Armstrong, make sure he’s aware, and taking necessary precautions.” The radio answered with another “Roger.” And suddenly the car went quiet. It was only for a few minutes, enough time for you to worry about what waited for you ahead.  “Hobi, we’re taking rout C, if we get incoming again, we’re doing contingency plan.” Hoseok’s head spun around towards Jungkook, eyes slightly bulged. Even Taehyung and Jimin straightened their backs, looking at their commander in surprise.  “Holy shit, really?” It was Jimin’s turn to speak. You looked at him, not understanding how he could look so normal while wounded. You figured he was used to pain like this, you even wondered how many times he’s been nearly shot, or shot for that matter. Jungkook didn’t answer, and they all looked between each other. “Oh, fuck yeah.” Jiming finished, and you furrowed your brows in confusion.  “What’s the contingency plan?” You asked, looking around at the men.  Jimin turned his head in your direction, leaning in with a devilish smirk and a lifted eyebrow.  “It means we get to play with the big guns, baby.” You blinked at his proximity, slowly taken back by it.  “Red Hawk,” Jungkook called, Jiming only tilted his head towards his commander, his eyes looking back through the review mirror. “Call her baby one more time and I’ll cut out your tongue.” It was an empty threat, you knew, everyone knew, but still, the possessiveness that dripped from his voice had you shivering once more.  “Yes, Sir.” He chuckled and sat back again. You looked through the small mirror, your eyes meeting his.  You couldn’t tell if it was the adrenaline coursing through both your veins or the fact that now you were both comfortable with each other, with each other’s bodies, but there was electricity in the air between you both. It was so palpable that it made you feel breathless. The way he was looking at you felt like he could strip and fuck into you right there between his team without a bat of an eye, and you knew he would. You cleared your throat, breaking eye contact and looking down at your lap. This was going to be a long ride.  At some point, after what felt like two hours of silence, you stopped in the middle of nowhere, Hoseok quickly leaving the car to empty his bladder along with Jimin. You were strictly ordered to stay put, Taehyung staying in the car with you as Jungkook walked out to meet with Yoongi.  As they both made their way back, you watched as Jimin made his way to the car with Jin. Yoongi settled in the seat where Jimin was, and Hoseok switched places with Jungkook.  “Hey there, princess, miss me?” Yoongi teased as he shut the door. You rolled your eyes but quickly looked at him as you noticed he as well had a bandage around his wrist.  “You’re hurt!” You gasped as you leaned into him, taking his hand and looking at his wound. You didn’t notice, but Jungkook only watched through the review mirror as he took off with the car, quiet as he watched you two interact.  “I’m fine, princess, just a scratch, like Jimin.” He reassured you, a soft smile playing on his lips. You took in a deep breath, resting your back against the seat once more, but not letting go of his wrist.  “God, you’re all getting hurt because of me.” You closed your eyes as you threw your head back, frustrated.  “Hey, we’re not getting hurt because of you... We chose to do this, it’s not just a mission anymore, you’re part of this family.” Yoongi spoke softly as his hand rested above yours, reassuringly.  You sighed, opening your eyes and looking at him. It made you soften. They considered you family now, but that only made the idea of one of them getting hurt clench at your heart tighter.  Silence settled once more after a while. You just looked through the window, your head slowly resting on Taehyung’s shoulder as you still held onto Yoongi’s hand gently. You never felt so safe in your life as you did with these men. Not only physically, but there was a sense of comfort they gave you that made the idea of a future with these boys too tempting to let go of.  It was only when the sky got orange that you noticed the sun was setting, you looked up from Taehyung’s shoulder to see that him, Yoongi and Hoseok were asleep, Jungkook quietly driving, paying attention to the road, you rested the side of your head on Taehyung’s shoulder again, looking at the man you were madly in love with through the review mirror. His eyes flicked your way, and you smiled, but he didn’t smile back.  “You’re awake.” He spoke softly, voice deep.  “Barely.” You answered him, airy chuckle leaving you. He hummed.  “You seem to like Yoongi.” He said, and you were quiet, looking at the review mirror and watching him. He had a crease in his forehead, as if he was thinking. Was Jungkook jealous?  You remembered the day you both had reconciled, the way he had asked Yoongi if he was in love with you, the worry and weighted that question had carried.  “I do... I like all the boys.” You answered cautiously, surveying his reaction, he only swallowed. You felt intrigued.  “But you like me too...” He added suddenly and couldn’t help pursing your lips, suppressing the smile that wanted to show.  “It’s a lot more than like, Jungkook...” You admitted and his eyes flicked to the review mirror. It all brought back memories, like the first time you both had a quiet conversation through the review mirror in the desserts.  “More than like?” He questioned, eyes flicking from the road to your reflection.  “Jungkook, I’m in lo-“ You were cut short by the radio, Jungkook looking down at it.  “Next exit, the hatch is open.” Jin’s voice informed through it. The boys slowly stirred awake next to you, making you unable to finish what you were going to say.  “We’re here?” Hoseok questioned in a sleepy voice as the sky slowly darkened and Jungkook made a turn at the approaching exit. On the horizon you could see a bright city, it almost seemed like Vegas suddenly appearing in the desert, but before you got the chance to take in the city, you were turning vigorously into a tunnel, the wheels coming in contact with a metal ramp as you made your way into what looked similar to Seamore. Another five minutes of driving in the dark past and the car drove into a wide well lit hanger, several expensive cars, motorcycles and even a bus parked inside.  Finally parking the car, everyone started to get out. You slid right after Taehyung as he made his way to the trunk, but were stopped by a hand on your wrist, your body being pulled into Jungkook’s chest. You gasped in surprise, but he captured your lips into his own, making you melt into his kiss. It ended as quickly as it started, making you chase his lips as he pulled away.  “Are you ok?” He asked as he rested his hands on your hips, making sure you weren’t hurt in any way. You just nodded, unable to find your voice.  After everything was unloaded, Jungkook took your hand again as he walked towards a door at the far end of the hanger.  “God, I’m starving,” Jin spoke behind you, making you turn your head towards him. “I hope Joon has edible food.” He rolled his head, cracking his neck as you walked down a hallway.  You were expecting another military type base, but you were met with something completely different.  It was a large space, wide and tall with art littered walls. There was a mezzanine, you could see books on the walls up there, hundreds and hundreds of books. The floor was carpeted in a dark red color, a center table that could easily fit ten people, and the room was lit by dimmed yellow lights that hung in between the several paintings that were on the walls. You were stunned, mouth slowly falling agape as you took tentative steps into the room, the boys starting to move as they piled the bags in one corner.  “I’ll go get Namjoon.” Said Taehyung as he walked towards the stairs at the corner of the room. The boys all walked in, making themselves comfortable as if they were at home. Jin sat down at one of the chairs on the table, Yoongi and Hoseok making their way to the red velvet couch you hadn’t noticed on the right side of the room and Jungkook walked towards the bags along with Jimin, letting go of your hand. You still looked everywhere, taking in the paintings. They looked antique, rare, expensive. You barely noticed the shadow behind you before you felt the cold metal against the back of your head, the sound of the safety pin being turned off.  The noise alone was enough for the men protecting you trained ears to look your way, Jungkook quickly taking his gun and aiming at whoever had you at gunpoint, Jin, and the three others were just as fast, making their way slowly towards you, all formed into a semi-circle. Jin looked alarmed, Jimin looked at Jungkook and back at the one behind you, something keen to confusion in his eyes. And Yoongi and Hoseok swallowed, yet ready to shoot if needed.  “Interesting.” The deep voice spoke behind you. It seemed young, calm even though there were five guns pointed in their direction. “Got them wrapped around your finger, huh?” He spoke again and you didn’t dare move a muscle, too aware of the gun pressed firmly to the back of your head. This person held your life in their hands and just one swift move and everything was over.  “What the fuck are you doing?” Jungkook spoke between clenched teeth at whoever was behind you. The man only chuckled, amused. “Joon, put the fucking gun down.” Jungkook spat out.  You furrowed your brows in confusion. So the person behind you was Namjoon, the one Jungkook seemed to have a deep respect for and somehow, he had a gun pointed to your head. Had he betrayed them? The thought brought dread filling your gut, the idea that one of their own would do such a thing. But worst was that one of their own could just simply decide to take your life, and there was nothing any of the boys could do about it. “And where is the fun in that, Jungkookie?” He spoke out so free of care that it made you start to shiver. The condescending tone in his voice towards Jungkook made his anger build inside of him. “Namjoon, I swear to god-“ Jungkook started. “What, Jungkook, what are you going to do? Shoot me? Kill me?” He asked a little sharper, nuzzle pressing harder into your head. “You’d shoot someone you’ve known most of your life over her? Someone you met only a month ago?” There seemed to be a lingering curiosity in his voice, almost a dare. Jungkook swallowed, you could see his Adam’s apple bopping as he pondered the idea. He seemed nervous as he blinked and took in a deep breath.  “Yes.” He spoke out in a firm voice, yet shaky breath.  “Interesting, and why is that, Jungkook?” Namjoon asked with a sense of amusement in his voice.  “Hyung, just put the gun do-“ Jungkook’s resolve slowly faltered.  “Answer my question, Commander.” Namjoon pressed, interrupting.  “Because I’m in love with her.” He blurted out in a breath.  Everything went quiet, even the other boy’s sharp gazes flicking towards their commander. Your heart suddenly stopped at his confession, eyes shining with something new, and you forgot you were being held at gunpoint. Jungkook’s eyes moved to you, concern and something else filled within them. It was love, he was in love with you, just as you were in love with him.  “That’s all I needed to know.” The man’s voice behind you softened with a smile in his words. He pulled the gun away, putting it behind his back and you turned in place, breaking the eye contact with Jungkook to look up at him.  You almost sighed in frustration at his striking beauty. His tall frame and defined jaw. He wore glasses and a well-tailored gray suit. His hair was neatly parted and up and he placed both hands inside his pants pockets, looking down at you with a brow lifted. You didn’t even think as you raised your hand and slammed it across his cheek. His face barely turned but it was enough to have him and everyone else in the room shocked.  “Don’t ever point a gun at me again.” You warned him before you turned back to Jungkook. His eyes bulged and his mouth slightly opened. You made your way to him, rushing your steps as you got closer and you wrapped your arms around his body, burying your nose into his neck. You barely registered Yoongi laughing as Namjoon let out an “I deserved that.”  You breathed in deeply as his arms wrapped around you, one hand resting on the back of your head, you pulled away slightly to look at him, his eyes filled with a tenderness that only made you not want to let go.  “Me too.” Was all you said, too taken back, unable to really put into words, and you saw him smile stupidly at you.  “Yeah?” He asked with an almost boyish ring to it. You nodded, unable not to smile back just as stupidly as him.  “Yeah.” You answered. The intimate moment seemed to through everyone in the room into an awkward silence as they all recovered from the fright.  “Oh, there you are!” Taehyung spoke above, leaning against the rail of the mezzanine. “Wait, why does everyone have their guns?” Taehyung obliviously questions, making Jimin look up at him and scoff.  “Catch up, Tae.” He teases.  As you detach from Jungkook, he looks past your shoulder and you turn, watching Namjoon make his way to you both.  “Welcome to Armstrong, Raven.” He speaks with his hands neatly placed behind his back. “I’m Namjoon, It’s nice to meet you.” He speaks nonchalantly, making you roll your eyes.  “Yeah, I know, you didn’t really make a great first impression.” You answer, crossing your arms over your chest. Jungkook chuckles beside you, amused at your attitude.  “Well, I just needed to make sure you were worth going through all this trouble. After all, you are worth a shit tone.” He shrugs, making you squint in his direction in utter disbelief. “But, although the altercations from before, I would never hurt you regardless of you meaning anything to Jungkookie or not, if he deems the mission a priority, he’s my commander and I’ll always follow his orders.” He looks up at Jungkook, giving him a firm nod.  “Stop calling me that,” Jungkook mumbled.  You looked back at Jungkook with your brows furrowed. It was honestly surprising seeing him banter with Namjoon like a teenager.  “But, I hope you’ll find it in you to forgive me for my little test, I was never going to hurt you, anyway.” He spoke once more, placing his hands in his pockets.  You breathed in deeply, looking back at the tall man.  God, why did they all have to be so annoyingly attractive?  “I forgive you, with a condition.” You lift an eyebrow and he mimics your stance, curious.  “And what would that be?” He questioned.  “You tell me how you got your hands on that Caravaggio.” You lifted your chin, eye flickering to the very real and rare “Judith Beheading Holofernes” painting just above the couch where Yoongi and Hoseok now were heading back to.  Namjoon flicked his tongue out to wet his lips, a glint shining in his eyes at your interest.  “Oh, I like her.” He spoke out, not tearing his defying gaze from your own.  “I said the same thing.” Jimin chimed in as he made his way to sit with Jin at the table.  “Yeah, you all like her, I get it.” Jungkook scoffed out, and that only made the men in the room laugh.  Armstrong was indeed very big, bigger than Red Hawk, bigger than Seamore. It was luxurious too, with a whole wing made out of Victorian Decorated Suits with lavish bathrooms, and another wing that Namjoon had informed you was where he had his armory and training rooms. Right in the middle, was the main dining hall that you had all walked into and his library and collection. You had so many questions to ask as he guided you and Jungkook to a Master Suite with a large king-sized bed covered in what you could tell was Egyptian Cotton and a Duvet that felt like clouds.  It reminded you of home and made you sigh as you walked in, taking in the creamed colored walls, the two ivory nightstands, one with a white porcelain vase, fresh flowers placed inside, and the other with a small white lamp. The walls had some Victorian paintings, but you noticed that there were no windows. In front of the bed, against the wall was a large television and a door right beside it that lead to the very wide, very white couple bathroom, with a large bathtub on one side and a glass closed shower box with two shower heads facing each other. Two marble sinks placed beside each other and a large, well lit mirror.  It was everything you were used to.  And Jungkook seemed to notice as he bid Namjoon his farewell for the meantime and watched you take in everything. He leaned against the bathroom door, placing his hands inside his pockets and looking down at the floor. You finally noticed him through the reflection in the mirror, placing your hands against the surface and sighing.  “This place is amazing.” You spoke in a soft voice, a tinge of bitterness to them.  Jungkook didn’t seem to reflect your thoughts, though. He seemed troubled.  “What’s wrong?” You asked as you turned in your spot, facing him. It was his turn to sigh.  “I can’t give you this.” He didn’t lift his eyes to meet you. “I can’t give you the fancy shit and the fine food with fine art, and I know it’s what you’re used to.” He finally looked up at you.  “Jungkook...” You started, leaning off the sink and walking slowly to him. “I had this. I had it for years on end, but I don’t need it... I don’t need any of this, you want to know what I need?” You asked him as you finally stopped in front of his tall frame, his eyes looking down at you. “I need safety. I need freedom. I need to be able to sleep anywhere, anyplace without worrying if I’m going to be alive tomorrow.” You reached out to touch his face. Placing your palm on his warm cheek, he leaned into it. “But I need you above all things.” He turned his face into your palm, placing a kiss onto it.  “I need a hot shower, I real hot shower, with you, right now.” He sighed out, and you finally noticed how exhausted he seemed. He’s been working so hard to make sure you’re safe, getting into life-threatening situations, shooting at people, killing people. Barely sleeping. Your eyes softened, reaching your hand down to grab his hand and pull him further into the bathroom, and he only pulled the doorknob along with him, closing it.  There was something akin to electricity going through the both of you as you slowly undressed him, gripping at the base of his black shirt and pulling it up and over his head, only breaking eye contact as it passed through it. You were both silent as you undressed each other, his hands tracing your skin gently as you got bare, mapping it, making you gasp as it brushed against sensitive areas. Your nipples hardened and perked as his large hands rested on the small of your back, your eyes finally roamed his bare body. You’ve seen it a few times before at Seamore, but somehow in this atmosphere, in this light, it seemed like the first time. You pulled him into the showers, turning them on and waiting for the water to warm, watching as it slowly fogged the see-through glass, he remained quiet, closing the small distance and placing his hand on the small of your back once more, unable to flick your eyes down. Your mouth watered at the sight of his hardening cock, thick and girthy as it twitched when he noticed your hungry stare, unable to ignore the way you had wet your lips. He pulled you into him with the hand resting at the small of your back, his other hand reaching for your chin to pull you up to look at him. His eyes were dark, darker than they’ve ever been, but there was not only danger written in them, there was also a weight that you had never seen before. A vulnerability you have never seen before and it left you breathless.  He leaned in, grazing his lips against yours, your eyes fluttering slightly, waiting for the kiss. But it never came, he just hovered. Your eyes opened, watching him as his lips parted.  “I don’t know if I should fuck you like you’re the president’s daughter or if I should make love to you like you’re mine.” He whispered against them, coaxing a whine from your lips as you pressed your thighs together. A smirk stretched across his lips at your reaction. He liked it, liked watching the way you reacted to him. “My pretty little dove...” He praised, nudging your lips with his own and your mouth parted. “Every single man in this building wants a piece of you.” He furrowed his brows, feigning worry. “Maybe I should remind them why they’ll never get the chance, huh?” He teased further, hand on your back moving up your spine, making your body litter with goosebumps. “So, what will it be, little dove?” He asked as his fingers made their way into your hair, gently gripping and pulling your head slightly back.  Your eyes fluttered closed as you felt his lips graze your jaw, moving slowly down your throat and rest on your neck, you took in a deep breath.  “B-both.” You stuttered out in a shaky breath.  Jungkook opened his mouth on your neck, sucking at the skin with wet sounds as he pushed you into the hot water, turning in place so he could also get under it, wetting both your bodies. You gasped at the feeling of the strong jets hitting your skin, Jungkook’s hands leaving your body to rest at the fogging glass behind you, palms flat, he finally pulled away, satisfied with the dark purple marks he had littered your skin with and you opened your eyes to look up at him, breathless, cheeks blushed and already looking fucked out. He swallowed at the sight of your damp hair and skin, head resting back on the glass, looking up at him with swollen lips and hungry eyes.  “You’re so fucking beautiful it hurts.” He whispered out, cock twitching against his stomach. Your eyes flickered down to it for a second before looking back into his eyes with a new glint in them. Slowly, you slid down to your knees, Jungkook’s eyes following you as your head leveled with his straining erection.  His lips parted at the sight of you looking up at him through your lashes, the insinuation of your position already overwhelming him, you watched his Adam’s Apple bop, the water hitting the side of his body, droplets sliding down his toned strong abs. His hair stuck to his forehead, giving you the perfect sight.  Reaching out your hand, you gripped at the base of his erection, eyes finally looking down at it and you bit your lip. It had been a while since you had taken someone into your mouth and Jungkook was a handful, he’d certainly be a mouthful. Leaning in, you kissed his tip, watching his abs clench and his cock twitch in your hold. You looked up at him through your lashes once more, sticking out your tongue to deliver a slow yet short lick to his glistening head. A huff of air left his lips, and you took that as a sign to carry on.  Your hand moved up his shaft, stopping just below his tip and gliding back down in a slow smooth stroke and you opened your mouth to finally take him in, mouth closing around his tip and gliding down along with your hand, the airy, throaty moan that left him sent a shiver down your spine as you took him as far as you could, watching his eyes fall shut and his mouth hang open in bliss.  You hollowed your cheeks as you pulled back, tongue swirling around at his sensitive tip, making his hips gently buck forward with another deep groan. He opened his lidded eyes, looking down at you and watching as you once again glided down his cock, mouth closing in inch by inch slowly and he bit down on his lower lip at the sight, cock twitching inside your mouth. It only encouraged you further, making you start a pace of bopping your head and you jerked what you couldn’t fit in your mouth, you barely noticed the way his fingers curled against the glass, how his hips slowly ground into your mouth, how his groans became more frequent as your eyes rolled into the back of your head as you could taste his leaking arousal in the back of your tongue.  “Y/N...” He whispered out your name, making you open your eyes to look up at him. Looking at his pained expression as he let our breathy moans. “If you keep doing that I’m going to cum.” He warned, and you could feel the way his twitches became more frequent inside your mouth, how swollen he had become. “You need to stop, baby, stop.” He warned in a pained voice, and you pulled your mouth away from him. One of his hands came down to grip over yours, making sure you stopped your movements and he hissed as he closed his eyes and leaned into his arm, biting on his skin.  “Fuck.” He cursed out as you slowly rose from your spot, lips swollen and dripless of drool leaking down your chin.  The fact that he was edging had you throbbing, desperate to help him get his release, pulling your hand from his erection, you slid both up his chest, resting them around his neck and pulling him in to finally kiss you.  His tongue desperately searched for yours, hands falling to your hips and pulling you along with him under the water once more, one of his hands moved, sliding down your middle and dipping in between your folds, you gasped and clenched at the feeling of his fingers there, but not yet inside of you, not where and how you wanted him. He chuckled, and he pulled away from your mouth to acknowledge what he had found.  “You got soaking wet from sucking me off, Little Dove?” He questioned with a raspy voice, a smirk playing on his lips. You nodded almost innocently at him, feeling the throb worsen. “What a dirty little girl.” He teased, and you whined, making him chuckle even more. He brought his hand down again, dipping them into your folds once more and pressing two of them against your entrance, making you ache as he rubbed just around your hole.  “Is it aching, hm?” He questioned, an arrogant stance to his words, you whined loudly at the feeling, lifting one leg on the side of his body, he gladly grabbed your thigh, helping you keep it up. Your hips slowly ground on his fingers, aching for them to breach you. “I can feel you clenching, little dove, your hungry pussy is dying to be filled.” He teased once more.  The way he spoke made you unable to think, it was enough that he was annoyingly attractive, strong and dangerous, has an amazing cock, but his dirty talk just made everything too much and you whined louder.  “J-Jungkook, please.” Your weak strained voice begged, that only seemed to amuse him more, his hard cock pressed to your lower stomach, twitching with your needy voice.  “Please what, little dove, do you want my fingers inside of you like the first time? Fucking you against the bathroom wall as I did against the desert floor?” You gasped as his thumb brushed your throbbing clit, body jerking at the contact.  “Fuck me!” You moaned out loud as he pressed his fingers into you, breaching your entrance only slightly and circling his fingers. Jungkook moved you to rest your back against the wall, still holding your leg up and against his hip.  “What is it, little dove, are my fingers not enough?” He pushed them in a little more, pulling them out again and you dug your fingers into his arms, grunting in frustration, that only made him chuckle further. “Feisty.” He clenched his jaw as he pushed his fingers all the way in, curling them on their way out and brushing against your sweet spot inside of you. He watched your every reaction as you threw your head back in pleasure, body starting to tremble in his hold. You choked out a moan as he pushed them back in just as slow as the first time, it made you want to cry.  “P-please, please fuck me.” You cried out as you felt the burn and ache of your core. His hungry haze only watched as you slowly lost your resolve under him, your patient slowly withering.  “That’s my good girl.” He praised as he pulled his fingers out and turned you around in place, hand resting on the back of your neck and pushing you against the wall.  You leaned back into him, feeling him press his cock to your bare ass, slowly grinding on his erection. He watched, cursing under his breath, and his free hand slammed down against your bare ass, making you jump in pleasured surprise, the burn of his palm against your wet skin delicious.  He gripped at the base of his cock, aligning it with your entrance, but slowly gliding his tip between your soaked folds, watching as you clenched around nothing.  “Fuck, stop teasing me and fuck me like I’m your bitch already.” You grunted out in frustration, your cheek pressed to the wall, and Jungkook took your words to heart, finally pressing his tip into your entrance and pushing all the way in one swift move, cock easily sliding with how wet you were. You barely had time to make a sound at the feeling of finally being filled by him, before he was pulling out and thrusting hard and deep into you once more, stilling deep inside of you as he felt your tight walls clamp down around him.  “God, you’re so tight.” He mumbled out. One of your hands reached back to grip at his hips, your fingers digging into his skin to keep him still for just a little longer as you felt him heavy against your cervix, and when you let go, he started a relentless and violent pace into you.  The sound of slapping skin reverberated around the bathroom, surely loud enough for whoever was next to your room to hear. Your loud lewd moans and whimpers weren’t any better, and you yelped as his hand landed on your ass hard once more, ripping a high-pitched moan of his name from you.  “That’s it, baby, let everyone know who’s fucking you this good.” He spoke out between clenched teeth at the effort he was putting into fucking you. “Fuck, you feel so good.” His voice faltered, allowing you to hear just how strained it was.  The drag of his cock inside of you was perfect, you could feel all the ridges and veins rub against your walls and his tip brush against that sweet spot with each stroke in and out of you, you could feel the familiar tail of your high approach you, growing tighter and tighter with each second and letting him know you were getting close.  You were suddenly opening your eyes when you felt him pull out, groaning in pain as he gripped the base of his cock to keep him from cumming, you turned your head in his direction and he was turning you once again, gripping at the base of your thighs and lifting you into his lap, pressing your back against the wall.  It was all too familiar.  “I want to look at you when you cum.” He whispered against your lips as he aligned his throbbing cock with your entrance once more. He pushed inside, the feeling of being full again making your eyes roll into the back of your head, and he moved slowly this time, wanting to feel every little inch of you while he looked at you.  Your eyes met his as your chest heaved, glossy and hooded, as you let him read into your soul as he fucked into you.  He grounded slow and deep into you, lips touching yours softly, kissing you softly. You couldn’t help but wrap your arms around his neck, one hand brushing his wet hair back as you both drowned in each other. This wasn’t fucking anymore, this was passion, want, love.  You could feel him even more from this angle, feel the way your stomach bulged slightly when he bottomed, feel the slow and wet drag of him inside of you, rubbing harder into the sweet spot that had you seeing stars.  Your brows furrowed, a whine leaving you as you felt your high approaching you again, his own furrowing in the same silent agreement that you were both going to cum.  “Cum for me, little dove.” He whispered out against your lips, hips stuttering as his high approached him. “Cum with me.” He breathed out.  And you let yourself let go, feeling your orgasm hit you so strong that your vision flashed white for a few seconds. Your walls clamping down on him so tight and violently it coaxed his own high. You trembled in his arms as you felt the peak of your high make you arch against the wall, your lips parting to let out high pitched breathy moans as you felt his cock twitch and coat your walls as he fucked into you, riding out both your highs. His low and dragged breathy groan bounced off the walls, ringing in your ears as you felt his body shiver with his release, finally stilling when he felt you wince in overstimulation.  You both must have stayed still for minutes, just hearing the sound of the heavy water jets hit the side of his body and the floor and your ragged breathing, Jungkook’s forehead rested on your shoulder and your hands caressing his scalp in the back of his head.  After what felt like forever, he slowly slipped out of you, placing your sore legs down onto the wet floor, but he didn’t pull his head off your shoulder. He just pressed his body against yours, his arms snaking around your frame.  “I love you.” You whispered out, closing your eyes as you rested your cheek against his chest.  You’d blame it on the post-orgasm bliss but in all reality, you did. You just needed him to hear you say it. And he did, his body trembled in place at the words ringing around the bathroom, slowly pulling away from your shoulder to look at you.  “I love you, Y/N.” He spoke out in barely a whisper, but you felt it with every letter.  You both stayed in silence, just admiring each other and the weighted of the moment as he leaned in to kiss your forehead, cheeks, lips, chin.  “You think they heard us this time?” You questioned as he pulled away, brushing the wet hair off your face.  “I fucking hope they did, they were starting to get too touchy, I’m possessive.” He admitted as he smiled at you, you lifted an eyebrow at his admission.  “Don’t worry, even if I’m sure Yoongi can fuck his princess very well, I’m not really interested.” You teased making Jungkook give you a hard glare. You laughed loudly at his reaction, watching his jaw clench.  “Don’t make me picturing my unit fucking you, I’ll shoot them in the dick.” He warned, and even if he could be joking, you knew he probably would.  You both slowly moved under the water, starting to actually do what you both had planned to do, and that was, wash up.  Jungkook was quiet as he helped you watch your back, rubbing the soap gently against your skin.  “Would you, though?” He asked as he focused on the task, making you look back at him.  “Would I what?” You questioned.  “If It weren’t me, would you sleep with anyone else from the unit?” He asked flicking his eyes up to you for a second.  You chuckled, this was very domestic.  “Why do you want to know, are you just trying to find out who you gotta keep an eye out for?” You asked as you turned in your place, grabbing the soap from his hand and rubbing it against his chest.  “I’m genuinely curious.” He shrugged. You breathed in, thinking for a few seconds before you answered.  “Yes.” He squinted, you pursed your lips.  “Yoongi.” You admitted and his lips parted in a silent scoff.  “I fucking knew it, fucking bleach-blond bastard.” He huffed shaking his head, and you only laughed at his reaction.  “What can I say, I’m into the mean, witty answer cocky type.” It was your turn to shrug, still laughing at him. “And I know for a fact he’s packing, felt it a couple of times when we were training, that boy gets easily turned o-“ He almost growled with your answer, but you were enjoying the playing teasing, watching him get possessive, jealous, it was fun.  “You’re mine.” He growled out, gripping at your hips tightly, making you gasp, a new wave of arousal flooding you as you looked into his dangerous eyes.  “I’m yours.” You reassured under your breath.

After Jungkook showed you just how much you were his for a second, third, and fourth very quick and hard time while you were drying yourselves, you both finally decided to join the rest of the unit in the main room. As you both made your ways down the stairs, hand in hand, the boys were all seated at the dining table lazily, empty plates in front of them.  “I would have said get a room, but that also doesn’t seem to keep us from hearing you both act like horny teenagers,” Jimin complained as you both made your way to them.  You blushed as you sat down, Jungkook smirking as he went around the table and put the absurd amount of food on his plate.  You only sat as the boys continued to talk. As Jungkook sat beside you, you looked at the end of the large table, Namjoon was quiet as he listened to Yoongi talk, but his eyes were on you, observing you. Regardless of you both having introduced yourselves earlier, he still seemed intrigued and somehow, the look in his eyes made you shiver.  “So, we should talk about the plan, we only have two days to prepare,” Jungkook spoke as he used his hand to put the piece of chicken inside his mouth.  His unit quickly turned to him, paying attention to their commander.  “Namjoon, what do you got for us?” He asked, resting his back on the chair, one hand placed above the table and his head tilted to the side, his legs parted. Jungkook seemed like his normal self like this, closed, dark, dangerous.  Namjoon’s eyes shifted to you for a second before looking back at Jungkook, he breathed in.  “We have an opening in an auction ship, it’s a gala event, masquerade.” He started. “The ship will leave around Nine PM and should cross the border at around Eleven.” He stated.  “So, we’ll have to stay hidden for two hours,” Yoongi commented.  “Yes. it’s the only ship that won’t be intercepted by border police. If we’re able to cross the border without any trouble, I can arrange a small boat to meet us on the other side, so we can go to the safe house.” He continued.  Jungkook shook his head.  “No, we can’t involve outsiders, the chances of them betraying us are too high.” He leaned both elbows against the table. “What is our other option?”  Namjoon pursed his lips.  “We can always stay on the boat, but then we won’t be able to stay hidden for long until it reaches the docks, they do security checks every three hours, we’d have to be part of the party.” He put a hand on his chin as if in deep thought. “The problem is, she isn’t exactly a strange face right now.” He lifted an eyebrow as he looked at you. “She’s been all over the news worldwide.”  You slowly shrink in your seat, eyes falling to the table. You were the one making the whole plan to guarantee your safety difficult.  “What if I change myself, I don’t know, cut my hair, paint it?” You suggested and Jungkook turned to look at you.  “That could help, especially if your face is partially hidden.” Said Namjoon.  “It seems like a cool plan, but we’re forgetting the most important thing...” Hoseok started. “Sneaking into the boat and staying there for two hours is one thing, having an invitation is another.” And you bit on your lower lip, he was right. You looked at Jungkook, ready to reason with him on the idea of another boat to meet them beyond the border, but Namjoon chuckled.  “Please, are you forgetting who I am?” He arrogantly spoke, making Jimin roll his eyes and Taehyung chuckle. “I’ll get an invitation, but I probably won’t get eight, probably one for myself and a plus one, I can put the rest of you on as waiters.” “And who is going to be your plus one?” Jungkook asks, even though he already knew the answer.  “Why, Raven, of course?” His mouth slowly lifted in a side smirk.  You wanted to be annoyed at his arrogance, but it was somehow so attractive that it made you shiver once more in your seat, even if Namjoon was someone Jungkook trusted, the little stunt he had pulled earlier had you doubting his loyalty.  “I’ll do it.” You spoke out, almost challenging.  The boys all looked at you.  “Ok, let’s start planning then,” Jungkook spoke out, lifting from his seat. “Raven, eat something, Namjoon, I need to speak to you... Alone.” He said before he walked out.  Namjoon only carried an amused smirk on his lips as his eyes flicked from Jungkook to you for a second before he got up from his seat to follow.  “Excuse me.” He said low before he was out of the room.  “Those two will never change,” Taehyung commented as he got up from his seat and walked to the couch, dropping down and reaching into his jacket pocket to retrieve a flask.  “So it’s not just me, the tension is real?” You spoke out, reaching across the table to grab a piece of bread. It was Yoongi’s turn to chuckle.  “Oh, it’s real all right, sometimes too real.” He tiredly spoke out, resting his head back against the chair, you furrowed your brows, looking at Jin, who still ate quietly, that man could eat for hours if allowed.  “It’s a long story, Raven, are you sure you’re up for it?” He said as he swallowed his food, you munched on a piece of bread, nodding.  “Well... When Jungkook joined White Tiger, Namjoon was his first in command, we had two years of training with Joon in charge, and let me tell you, he did not go easy on Jungkook. As a matter of fact, it was noticeable just how differently he treated him. More severe punishments, longer hours in the heat of the desert, even doing mundane things as serve him coffee in the morning or cook breakfast for the rest of the unit. But, Jungkook was very dedicated, he took every beating, every humiliation, every hard task until he eventually ranked up and become commander, above Namjoon. We all expected him to get his petty revenge of him, but instead, he still looked at him for guidance, it was Jungkook and right beside him Namjoon, the both almost commanded as a duo at one point. If Jungkook gave a strategy and Namjoon wasn’t in par with it, he’d change his mind. He looked up to him even if he was his commander. Things changed though when Jungkook fell in love with a soldier from another unit.” You shifted in your seat. Uncomfortable with the thought of Jungkook falling in love prior to you. You knew that it was only natural, even you had fallen in love before him, but still, it felt weird. “Her name was Irina.” Jin looked down at the table. “She was what you can call a very fierce soldier, she was fast, sharp, loved bantering with Jungkook when we were out in the field. And eventually both our units got paired together for a special rescue mission that would last about two months. Of course, Jungkook and Irina got close and his feelings bloomed, she on the other hand, just wanted to get laid... And Jungkook wasn’t the only one.” Your eyebrows raised at the implications of what he was saying.  “So... Namjoon?” You asked, and Jin chuckled bitterly.  “Oh, Raven... Yes, but not just him.” He looked at the boys and your eyes followed.  “Me.” Yoongi raised his hand, head still rested back and eyes closed.  “Me too.” Jimin chimed in, nodding.  “Did she fuck the whole Unit?” You asked with surprise. Not that it was a problem, but honestly, how powerful could this one woman be to sleep with seven of the most gorgeous yet dangerous man on the planet.  “Not me,” Jin said, shrugging. “My heart is taken.” He put a grape into his mouth. “But that’s not the point, and her sleeping around isn’t the point either, the point is... Feelings. Jungkook had feelings for her, the rest of the boys didn’t, but Namjoon on the other hand.” He raised an eyebrow.  “So you’re telling me that because of one girl there’s tension?” You raised your foot to rest on the chair.  “No, you see, Jungkook looks up to Namjoon as an older brother, we’re all family here. The tension isn’t because they both were in love with the same girl, the tension is there because Jungkook let go of her for Namjoon, and when the mission was a go, Namjoon made a wrong call, didn’t listen to Jungkook and she didn’t make it.” Jin finished.  So, she had died.  “Jungkook trusts Namjoon, though, that was a long time ago,” Yoongi spoke, opening his eyes and looking at you. “He made a mistake and there were casualties, unfortunately, but, they both forgave each other and moved on, the tension is still there though, and with you in the picture, it just puts Jungkook on edge.” He explained. “If Namjoon makes a mistake, Jungkook not only fucks up a mission, but he loses someone he loves.”  You breathed in, understanding the situation a little more now that you knew why the air shifted when they both spoke about your safety.  “Joon dropped out of WT after that, started working with... Well, even we don’t know what he does, but he’s filthy rich, moves in the shadows, and can kill you in a blink of an eye.” Taehyung spoke from the couch, taking another sip from his flask.  “Like a Ninja,” Hobi added.  “Shut up, Hobi.” Jimin chuckled. “Namjoon hasn’t fucked up ever since. I think he learned his lesson.” He nodded.  “Honestly, though, It’s kind of fun to watch their sense of competition even though they love each other to death, the way they just stare at each other for minutes on end, challenging to see who blinks first.” Yoongi cracked his neck.  “So, it’s a pissing contest?” You leaned against the table, rolling your eyes. Men. “It starts with staring, and soon their whipping out their dicks to see which one is bigger.” You let out an airy chuckle.  “I can assure you mine is bigger.” You heard Namjoon’s voice coming down the stairs, Jungkook not following. You spun your head around in his direction, ignoring his comment.  “Everyone, time to call it a night, we have things to do tomorrow.” He informed in the middle of the stairs, looking down at his unit.  The boys all silently agreed, all exhausted and ready for a good night’s sleep.  “The only reason I like Armstrong is because the beds are fucking amazing.” Taehyung made his way to the stairs.  “And the food,” Jin added.  “And the showers.” Jimin also added.  “Let’s not talk about showers while Raven is here.” Yoongi teased, getting up and following the others up the stairs. You shot him the middle finger, still seated and chewing on the food in front of you.  “Goodnight everyone.” You spoke out and received mumbled ‘good night’s back.  It was quiet for a while after they all disappeared into the wing, but soon you heard footsteps, already knowing they belonged to the tall man.  He slowly made his way to you, pulling the chair right beside yours and sitting, crossing one leg over the other.  “So they told you the story.” He spoke out calmly. You only nodded, not looking up at him and he hummed.  “So... Bro’s before hoes isn’t your thing?” You finally questioned, looking up at him, he chuckled, amused with your words.  “We don’t choose who we fall in love with, Raven.” He spoke out with longing in his voice and regret in his eyes. “I was madly in love with her and didn’t even know she was fooling around with anyone else until Jungkook came to me for advice.” He breathed in. “At first I debated in weather I should tell him or not, but I could see that look in his eyes, you know? Jungkook has this boyish look to him sometimes.” And you knew what he was talking about. “I just didn’t have the heart to tell him at first. But once I realized she was sleeping with everyone, I told him. I told him to protect him because I knew that he would give her up immediately.” He looked at you. “And he did, and I would love to say that it was one hundred percent for unselfish reasons, but there was also a part of me that wanted her to myself.” He admitted. “And to be fair, she was in love with me too.” He looked down at the table.  You felt sympathy for him, not for his ‘protecting Jungkook’ excuse, but because even if you don’t think he did the right thing, he still lost someone he loved.  “The day of the mission, it was a bad call, it was too quiet, and I felt like we had an opening, Jungkook, on the other hand, felt like something was wrong. And instead of hearing him out, I gave the command to go forward. Irina was first in line as we entered the building. Motion triggered bomb went off, and we had to retreat.” He wet his lips. “Couldn’t even get her body back.” His voice lowered in tone.  You breathed in.  “I’m really sorry.” You sincerely offered him. He looked up at you, eyes less mysterious than before.  “I’m still in the process of forgiving myself. I send her family money every month, more than I should, honestly.” He furrows his brows. “But, it gives me a sense of comfort to know that I can provide at least something for them.” He smiled bitterly.  “We all make mistakes, ones bigger than the other, but mistakes are mistakes and there is no point in trying to change the past. I’m sure you’re a good man and your intentions are good, but I’m not just saying this because my life is at risk, I’m saying this because I love these boys, I love Jungkook...” You slowly got up. “Don’t fuck up, we need you.” You admitted. He looked up at you, nodding in understanding and someone cleared their throat up in the mezzanine. You looked up.  “Time for bed, Raven.” Jungkook looked down with shining eyes and you smiled wide when you saw him, looking quickly back at Namjoon.  “Goodnight.” You said quickly.  Preparing for the plan was easier than you thought. Art? You knew well about it. Etiquette? You were raised into it. How to portray a sophisticated, well educated, elegant woman? That was your essence. While you still trained with Yoongi and Jungkook in the two days prior to the mission, you still were curious as to what Namjoon did, who he was in general. He was a quiet, yet mysterious man. He was obviously rich, at this point, you assumed all of them were, but there was still something different about Namjoon, a certain Malice to him that had you always watching from the corner of your eye when he sat in the corner of the room with a black notebook in his hand, almost similar to Jungkook’s.  You and Jungkook had spent barely any time together other than the first night and training. In between he was with Namjoon, making sure everything happened according to plan, making sure there were no loopholes, not bad calls.  So when you woke up the day of the mission to an empty bed, you sat up, breathing in deeply as you looked around. You noticed the white sating robe hanging on the bathroom door and left the bed walking towards it, there was a note.  “Spend this day as if nothing had changed. You deserve it. - JK.” You smiled, taking the soft fabric in between your fingers to feel it. It had been a while since you looked at something so pretty, and as simple as a white sating robe could be, it made you nostalgic. You placed it over your white top and shorts and made your way to the main entrance, furrowing your brows as you looked down from the mezzanine, seeing a table fool of food and Namjoon at one end, dressed in his dark gray suit and bringing a white porcelain mug to his lips while he read the same black notebook from the other days.  “Good morning.” He spoke without looking at you. You flinched slightly at the sound of his voice echoing through the space. You would ask how he noticed you were there, but you remembered he was just as deadly and sharp as the others.  Sighing and slowly making your way down the stairs you sat quietly at the other end, avoiding eye contact.  “How did you sleep?” He asked, making small talk. You looked up as you reached for a pastry.  “I slept well, thank you.” You answered simply. For some reason, being around Namjoon made you nervous, not in a predatory kind of way, but as much as you loved Jungkook, Namjoon was what you would call your type before all of this had happened. “Where are the boys?” You asked, wondering.  “They’re at work.” He answered finally looking up at you, you gave him an inquisitory look. “They’re waiters today, work started at six am sharp for them, preparing for the gala.” He explained. You nodded, biting into the sweet pastry.  The rest of breakfast was quiet, not only did Namjoon understand you weren’t one to talk much, but you had a feeling he sensed you were uneasy next to him.  When you finished, you slowly got up.  “Excuse me.” You said quietly and as you turned to make your way to the stairs he spoke.  “Raven.” You turned to him, he hadn’t called you by anything other than your code name since the day you arrived. “There should be a dress and some other accessories for you in the bathroom, we leave at seven.” He informed while a smile that bordered on the amused.  You didn’t answer, instead only nodded and made your way back to your room.  Time went by quicker than you’d like to admit, and when it was time for you to get ready, you were surprised to see everything you needed in the bathroom. Makeup, hair die, jewelry, high heels, and hanging from the wall a black velvet dress with a low chest line with falling straps and a high side opening. Instead of surveying everything, you quickly got ready, more nervous about the mission than enchanted with the fancy things.  You remembered Jungkook’s words as you looked at yourself in the mirror once you were ready. “You’re so beautiful it hurts.” He had said. You felt beautiful, but the constant dread inside of you also made you feel small, vulnerable. You leaned against the sink, taking a few deep breaths before you fixed your holster higher up your thigh, placing your gin right in the middle. You looked like a different person, your hair now a completely different shade from the one you had grown up with. It suited you, you thought. The dress hugged your body perfectly, the thick velvet straps handing from your shoulders and your breasts perked up. The side cut came all the way to the beginning of your tight, allowing your leg to peak out when you walked, and on your feet, simple black stilettos. You had decided for a minimalistic look on your face, a thick wing eyeliner, and red lips, ears adorned with what you were surprised to find out, were real diamond earrings and a bracelet.  Making your way to the main entry, you spotted Namjoon once more.  Oh, it wasn’t fair.  He wore a fitted black suit, undershirt just as black and no tie. His hair was parted in the middle, perfectly styled and he had abandoned the glasses. You made your way down the stairs, holding onto the tail of your dress and his eyes looked up at you, fixing his cuffs.  If you didn’t know better, you’d say he was gaping. Quickly swallowing and extending his hand once you were close enough to take it.  “You look stunning.” He commented once you were face to face. You blushed, pursing your lips.  He was quiet as he looked at you, eyeing down your dress.  “The dress is beautiful, please thank whoever chose it out.” You tried to break the uncomfortable silence.  “You’re welcome.” He lifted a brow.  You looked up at him. He had chosen the dress. He surely was a man of fine taste.  “Should we go?”  You swallowed, apprehensive.  He didn’t say anything, instead, he turned his back to you and reached for something on top of the couch, turning his finger, signaling you to turn around. You did, waiting.  He placed the mask slowly over your eyes, you lifted your hand, holding it in place as he tied the lace ends together behind your head. As you turned to him, he placed his, looking at you and lifting an eyebrow. This man was seriously mysterious.  “Time to go.” He informed.  Namjoon walked past you, stopping just ahead and extending his hand once more, you took it, following him into the hallway and out to his large garage. He chose a more discrete car, a black BMW sedan, and helped you get in, making his way to the driver seat.  When you were both out into the city, you clutched your knees tightly, eyes roaming around everything and heart beating violently in your chest.  “What’s wrong, Raven?” Namjoon asked as he drove, not taking his eyes off the road.  “I’m just... I’m not used to being out in public, not used to not being around Jungkook or Yoongi, and the rest of the boys.” You admitted, feeling the anxiety swirl in your stomach as the night city lights flashed by. Namjoon was quiet.  “Let’s talk, then, ask me anything you want to know, maybe that will distract you, Raven.” He said in a calm voice. You chuckled bitterly.  “You haven’t called me by my name once ever since we met.” You said.  “Well, I stick to protocol most of the time, I just don’t call the other by their code names because we’re intimate, although, I do sometimes call Taehyung Gallaticus just to tease him.” He laughed. You turned your head in his direction.  “Wait, so Gallaticus is his code him?” You asked.  “Yes, just as Red Hawk is Jimin’s and Seamore is Jin’s, we just call that the locations because that’s where they are.” He shrugged.  “So, what are the other’s code names?” You rested your back against the leather seat, feeling calmer.  “Hoseok is Fire Lily, he chose it himself, we kind of made fun of him for a while, but honestly, the kid is a flower, it makes sense. Yoongi is Nirvana, not like the band, like the literal meaning, although he does have a grunge way to him.” Namjoon’s lips stretched into a fond smile, something you hadn’t seen so far.  “And Jungkook?” You were the most curious about.  Namjoon only glanced your way, taking in a deep breath and letting it out slowly.  “Black Crow.” He answered.  You were quiet as it settled in, you remembered the day in the car, in the desert. The day when you chose your code name, and he had said it fits you. Maybe it was a coincidence, maybe it wasn’t, maybe life, destiny, whatever it was, wanted you and Jungkook to meet despite the horrible circumstances, and that meant you weren’t meant to die, not now, not yet. Not without sharing a life with him, regardless of how that life would be after you told the world the truth, regardless if you’d have to be on the run if you’d go back and be a diplomat again. If everything suddenly changed, if Jungkook came to the conclusion that you weren’t meant to be, you’d always be Raven and he would always be Black Crow.  Sooner than you expected, you were parking at the valet, at the docs, Namjoon quickly making his way around the car as he stopped the valet boy from opening the door, assuming you’d be nervous with such an interaction. He helped you out, taking your hand and putting it under his arm as he walked you to the boat. As you both waited in line, you squeezed Namjoon’s arm, eyes roaming around nervously, what if someone recognized you? “Raven... You’re safe.” He whispered as you approached the two men at the entrance of the boat. Namjoon just kindly said his name, not a fake one, just his name, and they quickly checked the list, smiling and indicating for the both of you to make your way in.  When you both boarded you looked around, looking for the other six, wondering where they were, just a glimpse of them and you’d feel safer. But the uniformed waiters were nowhere to be seen so far and Namjoon pulled you along to a more secluded area of the boat.  You barely noticed you were out of breath until Namjoon held you by your arms, making your look at him. Your eyes were slightly bulged, chest rising, and falling rapidly.  “You’re safe.” He spoke more firmly. “The others are here, they’re armed, I’m armed.” He raised his eyes to the crowd, making sure no one could hear him. “You’re safe.” He said once more, making you nod and breath in deeply. He comforted you, caressing his hand up and down the sides of your arms.  “Mam, a drink?” You heard one of the waiters offer. You barely looked at the man as you took the glass of water, not until he spoke again. “Touch her like that again and I’ll cut your fingers off.” Your head spun around to look at the man.  Jungkook. It was Jungkook.  Carrying a tray of water.  He was dressed in a white dress shirt with a black bowtie, black pants, and shiny shoes. His hair was pushed back, styled as you had never seen before and your eyes bulged. Namjoon only chuckled at his commander’s comment and Jungkook finally looked at you, eyes ranking down your body and back up, pitch black with darkness. Your breathing picked up again at the pure danger in his eyes.  “You look fucking sinful.” His whispered and you felt a shiver roll down your body. “I’d like to personally get you out of that, more like rip you out of that.” He smirked. Smirked.  “That’s a three thousand dollar dress, Jungkook,” Namjoon informed.  “Yeah? And you can suck my dick.” He argued with the older. “Let’s get back to work, lay low.” He informed before he sent you a wink and walked back to the crowd.  And you barely noticed you were calmer as he walked away.  He was here, Jungkook was here. And so were the others.  You were safe.  They were safe.  Weren’t they?

[radiovisual]

(( quick, post the introspective baby thoughts before all the mutuals wake up--

(( honestly like... im gonna try not to get Into it bc this post is abt my Alastor, but to preface, i just gotta say. The way fandom usually tends to approach the concept of canon characters having Babies has always Severely weirded me out, and i only recently figured out Why, and how exactly to put it into words.

(( its by no means a bad thing--its just fictional fun, i know!--but the portrayal of pregnancy and surprise children always being a very "oh no, look at this pregnancy test! Im PrEgNaNt, this is a travesty! I HAVE to keep it though, because everyone else wants me to so we can have a little tiny version of me to dote on a get into shenanigans about heehee haha!" Is... frustrating. To say the least.

(( and its... important to me, that You all know that when i talk about my alastor having kids, or wanting kids, that that's not the way I look at it. Thats not at all the way i envision it, or look at it. In another case of me being Classic Lil Old Me, a lot of these feelings i give Alastor are me projecting my own experiences with the topic on him, and me taking the opportunity to live them vicariously.

(( Alastor looked up to his mother, and by extension, his aunts and grandmother so, so much. Growing up he saw them all go through a lot of hardship, and still doing what they could to take care of their children, to keep them happy and safe, and to help them feel free and boundless--like they could go out in the world and do anything they could dream of. And he also saw mothers who clearly weren't ready to be mothers. Women who resented their children, and often only coasted by giving them the bare minimum, or were downright cruel to them. These experiences in his childhood were very formative for him as a person, and they sculpted his feelings on the prospect of having children quite a bit--in having seen both the best and the worse, he made the conscious choice that when he had children one day (never if--always w h e n), he would take these lessons he learned from watching others, and that he would use them to do his damndest to give his child the best, happiest childhood possible.

(( the main reason he never got around to it was because he was so apprehensive around men--particularly the ones stemmed from how his father was. His primary source of information on how fathers were was in his own--a man who was inexplicably possessive, volatile, and unforgiving, who expected to have total control over the lives of both the mother and child at all times, regardless of marital, living, or financial status. He expected everything to belong to him simply by virtue of having added a single ingredient to the family pot. And while they were less drastic or important in his formation of these feelings, Alastor noticed a watered down version of this mentality in pretty much every adult man he met in his entire life--and it didnt sit well with him in the slightest.

(( an overbearing, abusive father who refuses to back off would throw a major wrench in his plans to give his child a worry-free life, as you can imagine. As would financial troubles--though he would admit, choosing to pursue a career over family was moreso an excuse to keep his mind of his father anxieties--and the fact that he was just too nervous to try to find a solution to that problem.

(( and then he died. And he never got the chance to go through with any of his plans. That lost opportunity, that grief over wasting his chance, was another othe the puzzle pieces in the collage of grievances the spurred his explosive reaction to arriving in hell, and the destruction and ruin that followed.

(( he doesn't know it, but because ive decided to go through with making him half hellborn, ive also decided that he does have the potential to get pregnant still--just to sooth my own aching heart. Even if it never happens on this blog, just the potential being there makes me happy. And should be ever find out--he'd be very happy too. And far more eager to actually pursue that wish of his, likely without much thought to how being in Hell will complicate matters and make his goal that much harder to achieve.

((If it happened, whether or not hed regret it would depend quite a bit on the specifics of the situation--but that regret would always be for failing to think it through, and forcing his innocent child to live a life condemned without any way out. Not for realizing he didnt really want children. He's spent his whole life thinking about it. Hed never expect it to be easy, and he believes that fact is important to the experience--and perhaps indeed even the point. That he should be able to handle all of the bad things, so that his child wont be the one suffering through them.

[goosewhisker]

russetfur vs. the entirety of skyclan || ch. 3

read this on ao3 || read this on fanfiction.net

chapter one

chapter two

summary:  After enduring months of Turtlekit and Kitekit’s abuse, Rootkit finally snaps and accidentally awakens his powers. This has the unfortunate side effect of reviving the ghost of an angry Shadowclan warrior who: 1) is personally offended by Skyclan’s existence, and 2) has magnanimously taken it upon herself to relieve the world of that burden. Or something

okay so its been a minute since i posted. a lot of things happened, i got a kitten, a job, a new fandom, and i speedran a full semester of calculus in like the past four weeks. im sorry about how late this is and i cant promise when the next one will be up but its half written already so uh hope springs eternal. anyway thanks for coming to my ted talk

also shoutout to @turquoise-tulip for reminding me that ive had this chapter in my drafts for half a year now this ones for you im sorry its so stupid

Chapter Three: In Which Rootkit Practices the Art of Blackmail 

The morning after is quiet.

...is what Rootkit would like to say. Actually, he gets woken up by Tree at what his mom likes to call 'the butt-crack of dawn' to go talk to Leafstar, thereby ruining his chances of being a normal warrior forever.

When they get to the leader's den, Violetshine is already there. Rootkit discovers this by walking into her while his eyes are closed in the middle of a yawn.

"See, he's about to fall asleep on his paws," his mom points out, sounding pretty close to yawning herself. "It's too early for this. Morning, kid."

Rootkit mumbles something that's unintelligible even to himself and falls asleep on his mother's paws. A few minutes later, he's woken by gentle paws on his back.

"Hey, kid. Kiddo. You gotta get up."

Rootkit hums absently, still mostly asleep, before realizing abruptly where he is. Mouse dung! Suddenly, he's completely awake. He jerks his head up, almost colliding with Tree's jaw before he pulls out of the way. Rootkit, too busy panicking, doesn't notice. He just fell asleep in Leafstar's den! After she'd brought him over to talk specifically to him! After seeing this humiliating display of incompetence, she'll really never make him a warrior, and Kitekit and Turtlekit will-

"Rootkit." The single word cuts through the panic. Rootkit looks up to see Leafstar, looking very serious with only a hint of amusement seeping through. "Are you feeling alright?"

"Yes!" The answer bursts out of him before he really thinks it through. And, well, it's not entirely true, but it's not entirely untrue either. Either way, he's up for answering any questions, which is probably what she's asking.

Leafstar looks at him just long enough for him to start fidgeting before she begins. "I've already spoken to your parents, Rootkit, so I know most of the story. I just need to know your side. What happened yesterday with the ghost?"

Rootkit looks at his paws, then back to Leafstar's calming gaze. "It started when I was at the grave. I was just- just talking, and then Kitekit found me..."

He tells her the whole, stupid story. How he'd lost it at Kitekit and Turtlekit and turned around to find a ghost looming over him; how he'd asked Tree for help, only for her to disappear; how she'd attacked him and Tree, announced her intentions, and vanished. At last, the story runs dry and he falls silent to watch her expression change.

Leafstar hums thoughtfully. She turns to Tree. "Do you think she's likely to hurt someone?"

Tree shrugs, looking uncomfortable. "If she's serious, yes. Most ghosts can't touch the living. Those who can - like this one - usually died violently or thinking they were wronged. And angry ghosts tend to be... volatile."

"Ah." Leafstar considers this.

"If it comes to that, what'll you do?" Violetshine asks. "Will you be able to stop her?"

Rootkit watches Tree watch his mom, and something in his dad's eyes soften. He leans over to swipe a tongue over her ear. "You want to help her, don't you?" he says quietly. "Because she's Shadowclan?"

Violetshine flushes, but she doesn't back down. "Many of them weren't kind to me," she says, "But Shadowclan was still my home once. I can't just forget that."

Tree purrs and winds his tail with hers. "That's why I love you," he whispers.

Rootkit sticks his tongue out in disgust. Bleh. Grownups!

"To answer your question," Tree adds, "I don't know what I'll do. I suppose-" he pauses, eyes tight with worry. "I've never exorcised a ghost who didn't want to move on before. I don't know if I even can. This may be something of an experiment."

The grownups look at each other for a long moment. "I will do whatever it takes to keep my clan safe," Leafstar says. There's something like a warning in her voice that makes Rootkit shiver.

"What should I do?" he asks. All three adults look at him like they've forgotten he's there.

After a moment, Leafstar's face breaks into a smile. "Tell you what. You can help by keeping an eye out for this Russetfur and letting one of us know when she's nearby. But listen, Rootkit," and her voice goes stern. "You must stay away from her. Russetfur is dangerous, and she may hurt you to get what she wants. Do you understand me, Rootkit?"

Rootkit looks into Leafstar's amber eyes - warm and worried and burning with a fierce, protective fire - and knows what he has to do. "I understand, Leafstar," he says, and just like that, his mission clicks into place.

From somewhere else in the camp - probably the warriors' den - someone screams, followed by Russetfur's haunting cackles.

Rootkit ignores it.

As he double checks his supplies, Rootkit runs through a mental checklist. He's talked to the ghost - check. He's figured out what she wants - check. He's given her what she wants - well... no. Tree's three-step-plan hadn't exactly accounted for what happened if what the ghost wanted was unobtainable.

Well, it doesn't really matter now. This plan is sure to work.

"Are you sure this is gonna work," Needlekit says again.

"Yes, I am, Starclan above will you stop nagging me," Rootkit says.

His sister makes a disgruntled noise and hauls the next bramble into place with a particularly vicious tug. "I'm just concerned you have no idea what you're doing, is all."

"I know exactly what I'm doing."

Rootkit doesn't have any idea what he's doing.

"Hmm." Needlekit seems thoroughly unconvinced, but she gets on with the task anyway. The trailing brambles she's weaving into place will form a turtle-shell-shaped cage laced with warding herbs over the grave when they're done. The plan is more or less to summon Russetfur into a cage she can't phase through, leaving her unable to escape. In Rootkit's opinion, it's a pretty solid plan for someone who has no idea what he's doing. "Why're you so set on doing this, anyway? Didn't Leafstar tell you not to mess with Gingerpelt?"

"Russetfur," Rootkit corrects her automatically. "And, well, yes, but..." he hesitates. "It's just... you know. I was the one who set her free in the first place, and..."

"Yes?" Needlekit prompts him. She's given up on the brambles and moved to stuffing moss and bracken into the gaps.

Rootkit fidgets uncomfortably for a second before the truth bursts out of him. "And now Russetfur's running wild everywhere and it's all my fault, and what if Leafstar decides not to make me an apprentice? If I don't become an apprentice, I can't be a warrior! And if I can't be a warrior-" he cuts himself off. He can't repeat what Kitekit and Turtlekit had said; even saying the words aloud seems like tempting fate... and he can't burden Needlekit with that, anyway.

Needlekit looks at him, though, and her gaze goes soft. "And being a warrior is your dream," she says, and starts stuffing the gaps with renewed vigor. "Well, come on, then! If we can trap Scarletfuzz then Leafstar will have to make us both apprentices! I can't be an apprentice without you; then I'd have to share the den with just Kitekit and Turtlekit. Can you imagine?" She pulls a disgusted face that has Rootkit giggling despite himself.

"Alright, alright," he says. "While you're doing that..." He shoves aside the piles of bracken they'd collected and settles down on the dirt. In his stories, Tree had never really talked about summoning ghosts - his work had been more about getting them to leave - but Rootkit is pretty confident about his ability to summon her again if necessary. More importantly, one or two of his stories had been about things the average, non-ghost-seeing cat could do to ward off spirits.

Rootkit spreads out his supplies, most of which had been scavenged from the medicine cats through a combination of tag-teaming and white lies. The herbs really are going to help his mom, just not in the way Fidgetflake thinks.

Thistledown. Rosemary. Lavender. Thyme. All plants that either attract or repel spirits, according to Tree (from what Rootkit can remember, anyway). Plus a lot of spiderweb.

"Hey, are you sure that's right?" Needlekit asks, leaning over his shoulder. "I thought we were gonna get some sage. And why'd you pick up the thistle?"

Rootkit frowns. "Well, Fidgetflake was coming back too soon and I panicked, alright? If you've got a problem you can get some more yourself."

Needlekit snickers and prods the massive pile of spiderwebs. "No thanks. I think you could've gotten a little more spiderweb, Frecklewish might still have some left over... yeesh, alright, I'll leave off the sarcasm. You don't have to glare at me."

Rootkit rolls his eyes. The immaturity of some cats. "Maybe I went a little overboard, but we need it. Frecklewish can just send the 'paws out to find some more. Now help me apply it; we need to cover the entire cage so there's no chance of getting out."

It's the work of a few minutes to paste it over with cobwebs, and the work of a few more to weave in all the protecting herbs. With luck, they'll prevent her from just phasing through. By the time they're done, it's so dense that a living cat would find it impossible to escape; Rootkit can only hope that the same goes for a dead one.

"Alright, fire 'er up!" Needlekit commands.

Rootkit closes his eyes to focus, trying to recall the feeling of power rushing through his being. Once, Tree had told them of a time when he'd jumped onto a wire fence and been struck by something he'd called electricity- what lightning is made of, apparently. Rootkit imagines it feels something like that.

The power lying dormant in his veins leaps forth eagerly at his call. It swells like a crescendo of sound, rushing out through his paws into the ground.

Rootkit focuses on the grave with every fiber of his being and wills it to summon its spirit. "Russetfur!" he cries out.

For a moment, nothing happens.

Then, something shifts.

It's like a hole is briefly torn through space; instinctively, Rootkit reaches in, grabs something, and drags it through.

Beside him, Needlekit gasps. "What the heck was that?"

But her voice is wavy, distorted. Rootkit opens an eye and finds his world is tilted sideways. Needlekit makes a high pitched noise that scrapes its claws across the most inner parts of Rootkit's ears.

"M'fine," Rootkit mumbles. His words are slurred, he realizes distantly, because half his face is pressed into the dirt.

Needlekit jabs him. "This is no time for sleeping, Rootkit. Did it work?"

Rootkit blinks. For a moment, he has absolutely no idea what she's talking about; then, the memories start to flood back. He narrows his eyes, remembering the feeling of hooking a soul on his clawtips like a fish. "I think-"

He's interrupted by an infuriated caterwaul that drowns out whatever he was going to say.

"What is this?"

The cage shakes as its captive throws her entire weight against the wall, but it holds steady. The herbs have done their job; even a ghost can't pass through.

Needlekit laughs triumphantly. "It's bad kitty jail for bad kitties!"

Russetfur snarls back something absolutely obscene and proceeds to attack the inside of the cage with a ferocious determination. At least, Rootkit thinks she is; it's kind of hard to tell since they can't actually see her.

"Can she get out?" Rootkit wonders.

"No," Needlekit says at the same time Russetfur snaps, "You bet your kittypet hide I will."

Rootkit blinks.

"Literally," Russetfur adds. "Because I'll strip it off your back to line my nest."

"Oh." Rootkit drops his head back on the ground. The dirt here is very comfy, he realizes. Maybe he should just sleep here from now on. "Yeah. That was kind of unclear."

"It'll become very clear in a few minutes, runt. I'll even give you a demonstration."

Needlekit leans against the cage with a smirk that probably would have been infuriating, if Russetfur could actually see it. "Don't worry, Redpelt, you're clear as crystal."

Rootkit freezes. Even the scraping sounds coming from inside the cage cut off. "What was that," Russetfur says suspiciously. "Did you just-"

"Keep your spirits up," Needlekit says. "I'm sure you'll be back to your old haunting grounds in no time."

Rootkit tries to slam his head into the ground and discovers that it's really much harder to do when you're already lying on it.

Russetfur doesn't say anything.

"What's wrong, ghostie? You're as silent as the dead in there."

Then a translucent ear rises out of the ground right next to Rootkit's face and he screams loud enough to be heard halfway to Riverclan, probably, and scrambles out of the way. Needlekit screams, too, and then Russetfur is climbing out of the ground like a corpse emerging from its grave.

She shakes herself off and grins down at them with more teeth than a cat should rightfully have. "You forgot to ward the bottom," she says. Rootkit makes a very small sound that definitely qualifies as a whimper. "What's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost."

All the fur on Needlekit's body has bushed out so she looks twice her size - which, compared to the full-grown warrior before them, is almost nothing. She's shaking like a leaf, but undaunted, she spits at Russetfur's feet. "Drop dead!"

Rootkit could kill her.

In a blur of movement, Russetfur pins Needlekit to the cage wall with one paw. "I admire your spirit, kit," she hisses. "But if you want to sass me, you're digging your own grave."

That's it. Rootkit has had enough. That is the final stars-damned straw. "Shut up with the stupid ghost puns, I swear to Starclan," Rootkit screams.

The wind rustles gently in the treetops as the two she-cats stare at him.

"The next person to make a single stars-cursed ghost pun, I am going to snap your fleabitten neck. Is that clear?"

Needlekit makes a stifled noise muted by the heavy paw slowly crushing her windpipe.

"Ah." Russetfur looks to be considering it. "Would you say we're dead m-"

Rootkit makes a very aggressive series of throat-slitting gestures.

"...you've got your father's spirit in you, I see."

"I brought you into this world and I can take you out of it," Rootkit snarls.

That gets her attention. Russetfur's eyes widen, then narrow. "Oh?" Her voice is considerably less friendly.

This is where it gets tricky. Rootkit's at a disadvantage - he's just seriously ticked off a relatively powerful ghost with a grudge against his relatively powerless clan, she's got his sister by the throat, and his only bargaining chip is a bluff. But there's an opportunity somewhere here; he just has to navigate a very prickly, very dangerous minefield and pray he doesn't blow them all up.

Time to channel his inner Tree. "Look," Rootkit says, in his best diplomat voice. "Clearly, we both want something here, something that we can provide for each other. What do you say we make a deal?"

Russetfur narrows her eyes and tightens her grip on Needlekit. "I don't think you're in a position to bargain, here," she says.

"On the contrary." Rootkit raises a paw. "I am in every position to offer a deal... as you just experienced yourself."

Russetfur scoffs. "What could you possibly have to offer me?"

"Your life."

That gives her pause. "If you could exorcise me, you'd have done it already."

Rootkit gives his best imitation of her knife-sharp smile and proceeds to lie through his teeth. "What do you think we were doing just now?"

The ghost narrows her eyes and says nothing.

Rootkit seizes his opportunity and plows onward. "You don't want to be exorcised, and we don't want you in our camp. So here's the deal - you leave and we don't follow." The last few words are growled out, like Leafstar whenever someone threatens the clan.

It's very intimidating, in his opinion, but it doesn't seem to have an effect in Russetfur. If anything, it only seems to make her angrier. "I won't sacrifice my honor as a Shadowclan cat to run from a bunch of kittypets," Russetfur snarls, leaning closer. "Even if you kill me again, I'd sooner die fighting for my clan than kowtow to some coddled housepets."

Rootkit grits his teeth. She hasn't called his bluff, but they can't have her running loose and hurting people. Think, Rootkit! "Another deal, then," he says. "If you won't leave the camp, then you just can't hurt anybody."

"No deal," Russetfur snaps.

"That's the final offer," Rootkit says coldly. "Under no circumstances are you allowed to hurt or injure any Skyclan cats. I'm not going to compromise on that point. And you can't really afford to bargain, anyway," he adds with a shrug. His heart is pounding so loudly he's almost sure Russetfur can hear it. "If you don't, I'll just summon you into the cage again and exorcise you for good. Or who knows? Maybe we'll leave you in there for a while. And this time we'll cover the bottom." He finishes with the nastiest, most hateful smile he can muster - which isn't particularly difficult, right now.

Russetfur goes silent. He can practically hear the gears in her brain ticking as she weighs her options. There's clearly only one real option here; he just hopes she isn't too prideful to take it.

"Fine," Russetfur growls, voice so low he has to strain to hear it. "Fine. I agree to your terms." The hatred seeping from her voice is almost palpable.

Well, the feeling is absolutely mutual. Rootkit dips into a little bow and bares his fangs in a farce of a smile. "Pleasure doing business with you."

Russetfur disappears into the air, leaving Needlekit to slump to the ground, wheezing. Rootkit waits until he's certain the ghost is gone before sinking onto the ground himself, body shaking with all the fear he couldn't allow himself to show before. Holy crap.

"Are you," Needlekit begins, then cuts herself off with a raucous bout of coughs that makes him wince. "Are you... okay?" she whispers hoarsely.

Rootkit makes a high-pitched, keening noise before breaking into nervous laughter. "No, no, not even a little bit. Oh, Starclan, I can't believe I'm alive, I thought she was going to kill us both. Oh stars..." he trails off with a giggle and buries his face in the dirt.

They lie there for a couple minutes, the silence broken only by Needlekit's wheezing and Rootkit's trembling.

"I want Mom and Dad," Needlekit whispers.

Rootkit couldn't agree more.

[nanasarea]

Sucker I viii

Prompt: Y/N attends a school for the supernatural, specifically: werewolves, witches and vampires. The school might be magic, but so is love, right? Right?

Genre: angst, fluff, slight smut in the future

Pairing: reader x 00 line

Inspired heavily by: Legacies (and The Vampire Diaries&The Originals)

main m.list / sucker m.list /  i  ii  iii  iv   v   vi   vii   viii   ix   x   xi  xii xiii  xiv  xv

You sat down at your usual spot for breakfast and tried avoiding eye contact with everyone, but you knew you failed when you heard a “Yikes, did you sleep at all last night?” from Hana. 

“I did! But then I woke up from the nightmare and couldn’t fall asleep again.” You said as Renjun placed a hand near your chin when he noticed your head slowly falling towards the table, catching your head in his hand which caused Hana to let out a quiet “aww”.

“Next time, call me. I can try and make a sleep potion for you, if you want, you know.” Renjun informed, making you look up at him and let out a faint “Please”.

“Aww, you two are so cute!” Chenle said, sitting down next to Hana while pointing between you and Renjun. 

“I gotta admit, I would have bet that you two would be together by now, considering how much time you spend together.” Hana admitted while eating her breakfast.

Before you could say anything, Jeno and Jisung sat down at your table, both saying a quick “Good morning” before eating their breakfast. 

“Are werewolves really that quiet?” Hana asked “It’s not their fault they have nothing interesting to say.” Chenle teased, making both of the wolves glare at him. 

“Need I remind you that my bite is basically lethal to your kind.” Jisung warned. 

“Eh? Is it?” Jeno asked, shocked “You see, if a vampire bites a werewolf, the werewolf might become a hybrid, if treated properly, of course. But if a werewolf bites a vampire? R.i.p, man.” Renjun explained.

“What about witches then?” Jeno asked, mimicking your confusion from when you first got here, but luckily for Jeno (and you), Renjun always had an answer regarding the supernatural.

“That’s just kinky.” Chenle said right as Renjun was going to answer.

“Hit the back of his head for me, will ya, Hana?” Renjun asked as Hana smiled and did as she was told, despite Chenle protesting. 

“If a vampire bites a witch, the witch can turn into a vampire, but will lose all of their witch powers. As for werewolves, there are no cases to go from, so we don’t know. Mainly because, us, witches, are smart enough not to mess with a werewolf.” Renjun explained. 

“As for a witch biting someone, that’s just kinky.” Renjun added, making Jeno nod before Chenle laughed.

“Morning, fellow idiots.” Jaemin announced before sitting next to Renjun, across from Jeno. 

“You do realize you just called yourself an idiot, right?” Jeno asked “He’s very aware at his stupidity.” Haechan answered as he, too, sat down at the table. 

“Is thi-” “At this school, everyone knows everyone, the longer you sit at a table, the more people will join.” Renjun answered before Jeno even got to finish his question. 

“How are you so smart?” You asked, taking the words right out of Jeno’s mouth. 

“Witches just happen to be superior.” Haechan answered for him, making Renjun just point at Haechan, as a way to confirm. 

“Hey!” Chenle yelled. 

“It’s a known fact. Werewolves go nuts at a big white circle in the sky and vampires go feral when they see red liquid, we’re the only ones with a fully functioning brain. No offence.” Renjun explained, causing the young vampire to pout. 

The rest of breakfast, Renjun, Haechan and Jisung all tried their best to introduce the school to Jeno as Jaemin, Hana and Chenle argued discussed about which blood type was the sweetest.

You? You just tried to decipher your dreams as best as you could. You remember the man’s mouth spelling out R repeatedly. 

R. 

R. 

What the hell did that mean? At first you thought it would mean Renjun, but you brushed that idea off, not understanding what he would have to do with your dreams. 

Ripper? 

What would a blood-thirsty vampire with their humanity switched off have to do with it? Why was he even mouthing the letter R?

You heard Hana say something about there only being 5 minutes left till class starts, so everyone tried to clean up as fast as possible, but you took your time, not wanting to rush. With almost everyone gone, Renjun decided to finally do it. 

“I know we’re friends, but I was wondering, if maybe, possibly, you’d wanna go to the Beltane ball with me?” Renjun asked, looking straight into your eyes. 

“I’d love to.” You said, smiling at him before taking your bag off the chair. You didn’t even notice Haechan almost drop his plate, Jaemin’s eyes widening or Jeno’s quiet what. 

You weren’t quite sure why you agreed so fast, why you agreed at all, in the first place. Maybe it was because you wanted to go with a friend for the first time, not having to worry about all the romantic stuff.

Or that’s what you kept telling yourself that. It’s not like you had feelings. It’s not like you COULD have feelings. You told Jeno you’re not ready yesterday, and you weren’t, so why did you keep telling your heart to stop beating so fast?

“All done.” Hana said as she finished styling your hair. 

“Switch.” You said as she went to sit down and you stood up to do her hair. 

“And this is why I’m asking Minsoo to do my hair with a spell. I have zero patience for that.” Jisoo commented from her seat. 

“Oh shut up, not all of us have a witch brother we can bully into doing our hair.” Hana whined.

You were all in your dresses already, as the Beltane Ball starts in less than half an hour. Hana wore an orange strapless dress, Jisoo a blue wrap dress, where as you wore a red halter dress. Considering none of you wanted to be stepping on your dresses all night, they were all to your knees, as the school’s dress-code required. 

“By the way, Renjun is really lucky if he has you as his date.” Jisoo commented.

“Thanks, but we’re just friends.” You said, looking at her with a smile before continuing to do Hana’s hair. 

“Sure.” Hana commented before slightly turning towards Jisoo “And also, you should feel lucky too, look at how hot YOUR date is.” Hana added, pointing at her face. 

“You look amazing, babe, yes, we get it.” Jisoo teased before going back to the topic of you and Renjun.

You weren’t really shocked when you heard Jisoo and Hana started dating, they had been dropping hints of liking each other for a while now, so it was more of a matter of when. 

Besides, it’s not like you didn’t notice Jisoo sleeping over at Hana’s room or Hana hanging out at your room more than she did at hers. 

You were happy for them, but you did warn them that 1) if Jisoo hurts Hana, you will hurt Jisoo and 2) if you catch them doing anything, you will throw up on the spot. Seeing your childhood best friend making out with your roommate wasn’t really on your bucket list.

“There is no me and Renjun. We’re friends! Friends who are going to the ball together! Like Jisung and Chenle!” You said. 

“Yeah, right. I’ve seen how you look at each other.” Hana commented, making you lightly slap her arm. 

“Ouch!” She said in a dramatic tone. “We look at each other like friends do! Besides, I’m not ready for a relationship.” You said, trying to convince yourself more than them. 

After you finished getting ready, and having to hear Minsoo whine about how he could be doing something better with his time, you all made your way to the dining hall. 

You stared at the decorations in awe, before reminding yourself that this school has witches, who probably did all of this in less than 5 minutes. You noticed Jeno and Haechan walking towards you and the others and oh boy. 

If you weren’t over him before, you sure are now. His suit fit his body perfectly, his hair was styled to perfection, his whole being looked way to ethereal for you to be okay. What you didn’t expect was for your attention to be on Haechan as well. 

He always looked good, of course he did, and of course you knew, but there was something about seeing him like that, it made you feel something. You tried to get those thoughts out of your head as you were here with Renjun, as friends, but still.

“Where are Ren and Jaem?” Haechan asked when he got to you. “Don’t know, figured they were with you.” Hana answered. 

“Isn’t Jaemin with Mr Hwang? I heard they were bringing in some last minute blood deliveries.” Jeno reminded everyone. 

“That still doesn’t answer where Renjun is.” Jisoo reminded. 

“It’s fine, I’m sure he’ll show up, he’s probably just fashionably late.” You said, trying to again, convince yourself more than others.

As the ball went on, there was still no sign of Renjun. You lost count at how many glasses of the kids’ champagne (as that was the only champagne Mr Hwang allowed) you drank. 

You watched as almost everyone danced and wondered how long it had been. Hana and Jisoo even offered to dance with you, so you “wouldn’t be missing out”, but you refused, not wanting to ruin their date. 

“Renjun’s a no show?” You heard Jeno’s voice from behind you as he sat down next to you “Apparently not.” You answered, looking down at your feet. 

“I knew we were coming here as friends, I didn’t expect much, but I did expect him to show up.” You said, downing another glass of the kids’ champagne.

”Well, I’m here so if you want to dance.” Jeno offered “As friends. I promise I won’t try anything.” He added, holding his pinky up. You smiled, locking your pinkies together before dragging him onto the dance floor. 

As if on cue, the first slow song in like 15 minutes played, causing both of you to look down blushing before he regained his courage and pulled you closer. As you slow danced on the dance floor, you got reminded of how good of a dancer he was. 

There was just something about how he carried himself when dancing. You tried your hardest not to blush at his hand on you back or at his eyes staring deep into yours. You felt like you were the only two in that room. 

But not from Jaemin and Haechan’s point of views. Jaemin cursed at himself for not being able to sweep you off your feet when he heard that Renjun ditched while Haechan tried his best to convince himself he wasn’t jealous. 

“Look at them, all lovey dovey. Didn’t he fuck up once already? I should be the one saving the day, not that puppy.” Jaemin groaned. 

“Calm down there, blood sucker.” Haechan laughed, trying to hide his own jealousy and focus on Jaemin’s. 

“And to think, you two species really fight over everything, even girls.” Haechan teased. 

“Yeah, well, she’s not just any girl. She’s-” “Oh, please, spare me the cheesy stuff, I’m not in the mood. We get it, she’s special, but come on, loosen up a bit, they’re dancing, that doesn’t mean they are getting back together.” he cut off the vampire, who only let out a groan. 

“I hope you’re right.” Jaemin said, watching as Jeno twirled you on the dance floor.

“For the last time, I’m not gonna tell you where she is.” Renjun groaned. 

“Then I’m just gonna have to wait for you to break.” The man said. 

“Which I’m not gonna.” Renjun snapped back, smirking. 

“You think this is funny?” The man asked “A little.” Renjun answered.

“Fine, I’ll go and find her myself, besides, it won’t be long till they notice you’re gone and they come to find you. When they do, they’ll lead me straight to y/n.” The man smiled from under his hood. 

“What’s with you anyway? Who are you? Why do you want her? Are you the creep from her dreams?” Renjun asked. 

“I’m the one who asks the questions, lover boy.” He answered. “Night night.” He said before exiting the room. 

Renjun sighed, knowing that y/n probably hates him now, since she thinks he bailed on her. 

“I’ll get out of here and I’ll explain everything, please just be patient.” He sighed.

A/N: So....that happened....lots of spoilers in this one tho, btw.....just sayin....what do u think abt nahyuck’s conversation about jeno x y/n (psssst, this question is lowkey a spoiler)? and did you really think renjun would ditch y/n?

i’m super curious of what ya’ll think so pls tell me, reblog, comment, message, dm, anything, i wanna know what ya’ll think so...

Also lots of spoilers in this one but also lots of magic 101 from Renjun so there’s that

[feel199x]

CLOUD NINE; CHAPTER VII

I II III IV V VI VII m.list

street racer!minho, god/demi-god!minho

warnings: swearing and maybe a teeny bit of angst?

a/n: ITS HERE !! ITS HERE !!!!

 You sat there for a while, staring at Chan, who stared at you.

“What-,”

“Shut up, Chan.”

 The truth was, Minho had gotten under your skin, and you knew that was the goal from the beginning. You clenched your fists, turning your attention to the very bright day, unlike any other that week. You could feel him smirking, you just knew that he was so pleased with himself. And now, you had gotten yourself in too deep. You crossed your arms, the anger only rising up.

 “Chan.”

 “Oh, now you want me to speak?”

 “Do you,” you cleared your throat, “do you know where I can get a motorcycle?”

  He responded with a deep sigh, “I’d be able to get one, but why are you even doing this?”

  “Well, I’m doing it because of spite, and,” you got up, “because I want to wipe that stupid smirk off of his face.”

 You took your bag, and shoved all of your books and papers in them, for once not caring about organizing them and agonizing over the state of your notes. “Let’s go. We don’t have that much time.”

 Chan obliged, for reasons you didn’t know, but, in the end, it was just important that he was. You walked outside, and while leading him, you realized something.

 “Wait, Chan, where are we going?”

 Chan smiled, “I was waiting for you to realize that.”

 Your pace slowed, and you came back to the side of Chan. His pace went more natural, as he was keeping up with your running. He paused for a moment, turning to you, “Hey, _____, are you sure you want to do this?”

 You looked at Chan, dead in the eye, with your fists clenched, “I’m going to wipe that shit-wating grin off his face if it’s the last thing I do,” you looked up at the clear sky, and you would’ve been happy that the weather cleared up, if it wasn’t for Minho, “And, you’re gonna be there. You’re gonna help me.”

 “I am?”

 “You are.”

 You furrowed your eyebrows, “I know that it’s better for me not to pay attention to him, but I just want to show him once and for all, that he’s not as cool as he thinks he is. And then, it’s like he won’t even matter.”

 “You could’ve done it by taking tests or something, I’m not so sure about illegal racing.”

  “It’s the only way to make him shut up. I’m gonna crush him. Got a bike?”

  “I got Minho’s old one he didn’t have the heart to throw away.”

  You smiled, “Perfect.”

  Chan got in his car, and although you didn’t know what kind it was, it appeared to be a very expensive, luxury car.

 “Aren’t you just a teacher’s assistant?”

 “I got side hustles, babe.”

 You shrugged, “It’s a nice car.”

 You felt slightly out of place in the car, and a wave of realization hit you. Maybe it was a little unrealistic to learn how to ride a motorcycle, and then race on one, with people who have been doing it for quite some time. But it couldn’t be that hard, right? You know how to ride a regular bike, and it can’t be all that different. 

 Turns out, it was slightly different.

 Life moves fast on a bike. 

The first time, you got a little ahead of yourself. Chan had brought out the bike, and you’re mature enough to admit when you’ve done wrong. You knew you looked stupid when the bike sped up and you fell onto the ground, the bike crashing into a nearby tree without anyone to steer it. But you were thankful enough that Chan didn’t laugh at you.

 “You know, _____,” Chan smiled, “You have to be on the bike to ride it.”

 But he wasn’t above making a joke, apparently.

 You sighed, dusting the dirt off of your butt. Chan had brought you to a country road not too far from his house. You marched off to get the bike, and once you were at the tree, you picked the bike up. You sighed, closing your eyes. Throwing your legs over the bike, and clenching your hands around the handlebars, you opened your eyes. 

 And then you were going.

 You don’t think you’ve ever felt so in control in your life. You don’t even know how you were doing it. Your mind was just blank, thinking of nothing but the road ahead of you. You drifted, sending some dirt flying and you slowed as you reached Chan.

 “Where’d you learn that?”

 You shrugged, “It’s like a regular bike. Just faster.”

  Rolling your shoulders back, you straightened both the bike and your posture, “Time me, okay?”

 “Do you think you’ll be able to tell your way around? You’ve never been around this trail before.”

 “I’ll figure it out, it’ll circle back around eventually.”

  Chan pursed his lips, taking out his phone, “Just be careful okay?”

 “I’ll be fine. You ready?”

 “Time’s going!”

 You set off suddenly, with almost an uncomfortable amount of speed. The machine under you was humming, content with the power it had. Driving the motorcycle gave you a previously unknown amount of ease. The feeling was just so much different than anything you had ever known. You circled around, coming back to Chan and stopped.

 The only thing that came close to it was being with Minho.

You shook your head, shaking off the mental image of Minho riding his bike. You took off your helmet and looked at Chan. “How’d I do?”

 “Fifty three seconds.”

 “Is that good?”

“It’s incredible.”

“But?”

“You’re still an amateur, riding on pavement is different from dirt.”

 You threw your head back, running your hand through your hair, “How fast would Minho be able to do this trail?”

 He looked at you, almost smiling, “Fifty three point one seconds last time we were here.”

 “Which was?”

 “Yesterday.”

 You jumped off the motorcycle, and did a little dance. The smile on your face was stupid big, and you felt your face ache. Chan shook his head, something knowing behind his smile, “C’mon,” he spoke again, “Go again, see if you can beat your time.”

 Second way around? Fifty seconds.

 Third? Forty eight.

 Fourth? Thirty nine. 

 On the fourth time around, you got off the bike. “If this is where Minho practices, shouldn’t he be here?”

 Chan shrugged, “He’s probably at the bar or something, or hanging out with some friends, playing card games.”

 “Oh,” you scrunched your eyebrows, “He doesn’t practice the day of the race?”

 “Nah.”

 “Hm.” you held Minho’s old helmet at your side which smelled like the conditioner he uses, but you brushed off the nostalgia, “Show me. I want to go.”

 “You’re a stubborn one.”

 You smiled, “It’s the only way to get anything done.”

 Chan led the way in his car, and you trailed behind him on Minho’s old bike- scratch that, this was your bike. And then, he parked right in front of your workplace.

 Huh.

 You stationed your bike, putting down your helmet. You felt almost ecstatic. Like you were on cloud nine. You contained the energy and walked into the bar, realizing you had never really paid any attention to what it looked like inside.

 It was actually kind of nice, in a trashy kind of way. 

The neon sign blinked outside and the leather seats inside were worn down. And as soon as you and Chan entered, your eyes met Minho’s. A wave of surprise quickly rippled across his face, and then an explicit smugness set in to replace it.

 “Fancy seeing you here, _____.”

 “Heard it’s where the racers hang out.”

 You sat at the booth, next to a boy you didn’t recognize. He smiled at you, saluting you with two fingers from his forehead, “Hey, I’m Jackson. Saw you at the race last time, didn’t Minho leave you to get arrested?”

 “Yeah, he did.”

 Minho pursed his lips, “Mistakes happen.”

 “Yeah,” you smiled sweetly, “Like you.”

 “Oh man,” the group of boys laughed, and Jackson threw his arm around you, “damn, Minho, she really came at your neck like that.”

 Minho opened his mouth and closed it a few times, trying to decide if he wanted to say what he was thinking, “Yeah, wouldn’t be the first time, and it won’t be that last time. I think,” Minho paused, smirking, “it’s her second favorite body part to come at.”

 You sucked your teeth, “Only in your dreams, bitchass.”

It was a weak retort, you were aware, but it was enough to make everyone change the subject. Jackson took it upon himself to shuffle the deck, and deal.

 “You playing?” he asked.

 “Nah, I’ll just watch this round.”

 Card games weren’t your thing, money was tight and you didn’t like the risk of the whole thing. And the amount of money on the table made you uncomfortable. You turned, suddenly remembering Chan, but not finding him anywhere.

 “Chan left, ___,” Minho said.

 You nodded, looking up at him when you felt his gaze come off of you. He had changed clothes from when you had seen him. His hair was slicked back, out of his face. He wore his signature dangly earring, a white shirt. Even in the bar lighting, he looked incredible. Your gaze lingered even after he met your eyes for a moment, and in that second, that glimpse of time, you saw the real Minho. 

 God, even you could admit that you missed him.

 He turned away, and you looked back at the game. You don’t know how, but Minho had won the round. And, as you watched, you won at least a third of the rounds. Minho watched the faces of all the boys, and his cards. But his face revealed nothing, you had no idea what he was thinking of. But whatever was going on in his mind, it enabled him to win. 

 Time passed, and you had gotten the gist of the game. But that didn’t make you confident in your ability to win. Each time Jackson dealt the cards, he asked if you wanted to play, and you politely declined.

 Maybe next time. 

 But soon the time came, and the group of racers dispersed to attend the race. You rode without the companionship of Chan. You pulled out your phone, calling him once you got to the lot. 

 “Where are you, Chan?”

 “Side hustle, ____. Something came up.”

 “Three in the morning?”

 “Three in the morning. Listen- I gotta go. I’m fine. I’ll call you later.”

 You furrowed your eyebrows, but the worry was replaced as Minho pulled his bike up next to you.

 “You don’t have to do this, _____.”

 “I’m going to.”

 “It’s dangerous.”

 “Anymore dangerous than riding on the bike with you?”

 “I’d never let anything happen to you.”

 “We’ll talk later, Minho.”

 It was time. It was finally time, and the adrenaline made you dizzy. You had to pay a racing fee, and it made you nervous, but you dropped two hundred- the minimum- and pushed your bike to the line. A girl you didn’t recognize walked out into the street, holding a bandanna high up in the air. 

 “All right racers, you know the drill, one lap around the city, Fastest gets all the money, champion of the week.”

 You pulled your helmet on, turning to look at Minho, who was already facing you. Some racers revved their engines, others faced the road in silence.

 You stared at the road ahead of you. One lap around the city. You could do it, you could beat Minho. 

 “Ready? Set. Go!”

 And before the bandana hit the floor, you were off. You didn’t pay attention to anything else, your awareness becoming full of only the city lights and the feeling of the pavement under you. The hum of the machine under you was music to your ears. You and the machine moved in sync, it tilted and drifted with you, following the motions of your body. It was something else, being in control of all this speed. It almost felt like too much. 

 You heard the engines of some behind you, but it didn’t faze you, all you did was look ahead. Just keep going, that’s all that matters. Minho was in front of you, pushing his bike to it’s absolute limit. You weren’t worried though, it was about patience. Precision. Minho didn’t have that. 

 But you did.

 Making the loop around, you could see the distant girl from before, her arms raised. Minho was no more than a foot ahead of you. And you pushed your bike, you felt faster than light as all the colors blurred and became a watercolor mess, blending into one another. 

 Your body stopped the bike before your mind could process was going on. You turned, your bike suddenly going quiet as you rested next to the girl.

 She raised her bandanna, “First, the rookie! Second, our beloved Minho! Third…!”

 In your fucking face, Minho.

[swinterr]

Valerie IV

Valerie has been gone for 3 days and her family and Anwar are worrying.

They think that Valerie run away for some reason. But the truth is that Valerie is just chilling on her beach house without a care in the world.

Anwar was woken up by Yolanda, her mom, knocking in his room door continuously.

“Anwar! Anwar!” Yolanda continues to yell behind the door

Anwar groans and use a pillow to cover his ears to avoid his mother’s voice intruding him in his deep slumber.

“Anwar! Valerie is missing! Get the fuck up!”

That’s the time when Anwar start calling everybody.

He called his sisters, then Bella and Gigi starts calling everybody who knows Valerie.

Anwar even called Shawn.

Shawn is sitting on the couch inside his tour bus, strumming his guitar. Beside him is Connor and Brian playing Xbox.

As Shawn changes the position of his fingers his phone rings off.

Incoming call: Hailey Baldwin

Huh? that’s weird, they never really talked after their pr. Why she calling me? Shawn though

“Uh hello? Is this Shawn Mendes?” her soft voice fills the air, but not as soft as Valerie’s.

Shawn holds his guitar on his lap as his other hand holds the phone.

“Yeah, what’s up?”

“Bella called, Bella Hadid oh and Gigi called. You know them right?” the connection is a little weak so shawn’s having a hard time understanding plus the guys are are basically screaming at each other right now.

“Uh yeah. Wait a second.” Shawn mumbled as he sets his guitar down the couch, he prepares himself to scream at the guys.

He covers the speaker and shout. “Dude! Shut the fuck up!”

“Are you okay?” Hailey laughs as she hears guys complaining in the background.

“Anyways Valerie’s missing. The girls asked me to ask you if you know where she is.”

Shawn can feel the guys looking at him, he felt his world stopped spinning.

Anyway Shawn started calling everyone he knew who has connections with Valerie.

Basically that day was so stressful that even Andrew had to call Valerie’s parents to asked what’s happening.

-

Meanwhile Valerie had the best three days of her life.

She literally made the best decision of buying the house, although it’s expensive as heck.

Her house has a rooftop, with an helicopter parking in it. All she has to buy now is the actual helicopter. All that she can say is that her house is a dream. A gym, a pool, a library, a game room, a cinema room. Everything, she even have her own bar where she store her alcoholic drinks she stole from her dad.

On the first day she just watched movies on her laptop, ate fruits, went to the gym did some yoga. And on the afternoon she went sunbathing on the rooftop, she drove a boat and went fishing— in which she ate what she caught for dinner.

The second day is a chill day, she went to the gym at the morning and yoga at night. She spent almost her day sitting in the massage chair she brought. That’s all.

The third day— her last day she went jogging on the highway which is still her property, she thought that she the road is a little bit dark and sad. So she thought the next day when she will come back to Bel Air she will order bunch of lamp post, trees— specifically palm trees and other plants also, she will hire people to take care of her house at the same time will plant and will take care of her trees and plants.

Valerie now is packing her things, just her bag. She already did her laundry and decided to leave her clothes there in case if she come backs or something.

Valerie loaded her things on her car and zoomed off.

Before she goes she checked if she locked all the doors and the gates.

The car ride is interesting, she saw some paps on her way to Bel Air. Hoping that can glimpse at her and their family mansion which they kept private.

-

Its been a week since Valerie returned home from her mini vacation in Malibu.

Valerie and her dad hade some “serious talk” about what’s happening with her these past few days.

Eventually her dad, Virgo, figured out that her daughter and Shawn broke up.

Plus he said that ever since that dinner back in Toronto Valerie has been acting off and mostly sad. Virgo is worried about his angel’s mental health he says he missed the old Valerie, thus he ask Valerie to seek the help of a therapist which Valerie agreed too.

Her dad’s friend, Léon, also her godfather died because of depression. Although her case isn’t that deep. Virgo wanted her to be safe, also for him mental health is more important than physical health.

Few weeks later Shawn is in Oakland. Valerie had literally 4 sessions every week and after every session she does photoshoot and video campaigns for different brands.

Those sessions really helped him in forgetting their shared memories slowly.

That went pretty well. Today Valerie is getting ready for the ribbon cutting in Los Angeles for their hotel.

“You know what Val, I think you should quit studying and become a model.” Kayla, her make up artist slash hairstylist said as she blend Valerie’s blush out.

Her makeup is simple, glowy and natural except for her lips. Her team insisted that she should do a dark redish purple lip.

“Yeah you literally look like a Victoria’s Secret model.” Adrian, her stylists agrees.

Valerie’s looking beautiful as ever.

Adrian is currently zipping up Valerie’s dress while Kayla is touching up Val’s make up.

Valerie is rockin a black strapless beaded gown from Naeem Khan and a black and a black platform sandals from Malone Souliers.

Valerie is basically a model now, so she gotta serve looks, she gotta look stunning in every angle.

They are in Bel Air, in Valerie’s parents house.

“I don’t know I mean I would do it but I love learning.” Valerie shrugs.

“And besides, I’m not confident enough for that.”

“Girls?” a knock on the door interrupt them

They all stop what they’re doing and looked at the door.

“The car is waiting.”

-

“I’m so glad you guys made it!” Vernon greeted Brian and Connor.

Connor and Brian walked inside the hotel, with the maids giving them juice because Connor is still underage. Connor eyes widen when he saw the interior of the Valentin’s newly opened hotel while Brian just smirked.

“Hi I’m Vernon, I’m Val’s older brother.” Vernon approach the two while carrying baby Laslo in his right toned arm.

“Vernon! I brought my friend here, his name is Connor.” Brian introduced Connor to Vernon.

Vernon and Brian knew each other. They met last year at Valerie’s Birthday.

“Ahhh Connor, Shawn Mendes’ videographer?” Vernon shook Connor’s hands, he knew Connor through Val, she mention that he studies in UCLA just like him but he graduated already.

Laslo squirmed in his dad arms and extending his arm towards Brian. Wanting to be carried by him so Brian carried him, Brian extended his arms and carried Laslo.

Connor and Brian bodies stiffen when he mention Shawn, as a friend of Shawn of course they are embarrassed by his action.

“Where’s the kid?” Connor didn’t knew what to do so he looked at Brian, Brian eyes widen, he didn’t know where even Shawn is.

“Uhhh I don’t really know, he’s working on s project.” Brian awkwardly laugh.

“He better be, I’m gon—” Brian and Connor are mentally thanking Milo for cutting of his dad for saying something.

“Hi! I’m Laslo, I got my tooth of yesterday. The tooth fairy gave my $50.” Laslo proudly shows his missing bottom tooth to Connor.

Connor is about to answer when Viviane walked towards them.

Connor knew Valerie has two sibling. Valerie is hella attractive but he didn’t knew that even her siblings are attractive too. They look like greek gods and goddesses.

“Vernon dad’s looking for you.” Viviane look stunning, she looked like a model. She approached the group and once again Laslo is squirming in Brian’s arms, he wants Viviane to carry him.

“Brian! Nice to see you again.” Viviane smiled and hug Brian.

“Hi I’m Viviane Valentin, Valerie older sister. Nice to meet you.” Viviane hugged Connor.

“Go to the 23rd floor, Valerie’s waiting for you there.”

Viviane and Vernon walked to their parent but Vernon stopped and looked at them and said. “Tell Shawn he better be careful. Valerie is to precious to be cheated on.”

Connor eyes is practically shaking. Valerie and Viviane share the same personality with their Mom, except Valerie is more softer and Vernon and His Dad share the same personality except Vernon is more harsh and tougher like but he look soft.

“I’m literally dying when Val brother asked Shawn.” Chugged his juice down, his throat feels dry after their encounter with the Valentin’s.

The two are finally alone and can finally talk openly.

“I know! My armpits are sweating” Brian fanned his armpits.

“Dude, Valerie’s sibling are attractive! Have you seen her sister, her sister’s hot. Also I never knew Val was this rich!” Connor runs his finger through his hair.

“The first time I met her was when she was staying at her aunt’s house because I thought they don’t have no house but they are renovating their fucking mansion!” Valerie stayed at her aunt Veronica when their mansion is renovated, that’s when she met Shawn, Aunt Veronica’s house is directly to the Mendes’ Household and Brian’s house is just around the block.

“Dude Harvard is fee is around like $44,000 she rich rich!”

While the two are on their way to their designated floor they kept on talking about Val’s family wealth. Brian mostly keeps on talking to be honest because he known Val for years. He told Connor about them having private jets, mansion and other stuff that mostly billionaires can afford.

When Connor and Brian entered Valerie’s room they saw her crying on the bed with her laptop on.

“Valerie I miss youu but why are you crying?” the two lads run up to Valerie’s bed and hug her.

“I just got a modeling gig!” Valerie cried, Valerie has always been the sensitive type. When she’s hurt or happy she always cried. Shawn always calls her cry baby when they were younger until now.

“Really? That’s good but why do you need to cry?” Connor is confused.

Valerie models when it’s summer. She rarely do gigs when uni is starting.

“Yeah you should be proud!” Brian added.

“I know but it’s too much, I don’t think I can do it.”

“What brands are they anyway.”

“Um, Gucci, Burberry, YSL and Maybelline, Adidas, Calvin Klein, Moschino, Stuart Weitzman and also oh my god Chanel contacted me!”

“What!! 9 brands that’s crazy!” Connor started jumping and so does Brian.

-

Taglist:

@night-girls-world

@alinashawn

@feliciaceciliamariajacobsson

@clarissahunter

heyy i haven’t updated for a while hehehe. you guys still read this? if you do i love you, a lot has happened this past few months hehe

[oveliagirlhaditright]

Swallow - A Dark Kairi/SoKai/KHIV Story Chapter Three

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21456412/chapters/51131662

Summary: My idea for a Kingdom Hearts IV--that will eventually have all that entails, like Shibuya and Verum Rex and Sora's PoV--but that deals with the idea of a dark Kairi after everything she's been through, because this girl deserves to be allowed to feel things.

Author’s Note: So, Re:Mind came out since I last updated this. And, sad to say, it’s not canon to this story… because the idea that Kairi didn’t get to spend much time with Sora at all—or get a chance to prove herself in the Keyblade War in her eyes—is part of why she’s so messed up here. But the rest of KHIII and its ending is canon to this, as is all our theories about where the series is going next. And to be clear… though this is a “dark Kairi” story… so far, at least (I might change my mind about this later. IDK) she’s not literally getting darkness within her heart—as she’s a Princess of Heart, and that shouldn’t be impossible—she’s just moreso experiencing the emotions that usually lead to darkness, but don’t with her because of her unique makeup. Also, last chapter Kairi had no idea that who she met was the Master of Masters—or even who the Master of Masters is—but since then, she’s figured it out. And I've only edited this massive chapter once (oops), so if there are any weird mistakes... that's why. Sorry Magic in the Midst Kairi’s PoV “Kairi, I was too hard on you,” Riku began, as he found her in what was still her favorite place somehow: the paopu tree. “I never should’ve said what I did. Especially when losing Sora’s been so… hard. “I know- I know you were just thinking of the greater good. I would have killed Ansem, I mean…” Except that Riku was being way too hard on himself here, and Kairi knew it. But since she didn’t exactly want to give up her newfound strength yet—and admitting that Riku had actually been right about her would make her have to do it—she selfishly didn’t correct him. Instead, she decided to focus on what really mattered—as she scooted closer to Riku, so he’d be able to hear her perfectly as she said this. “Master Yen Sid thinks he may have a new idea for where Sora may be. Another world that we haven’t been to yet… But Riku, I’m scared. The Master of Masters said that every world I’d go to on an upcoming adventure would be tied to my- my anger. And first off, I don’t know if I’m ready to face that worst part of myself. But it also makes me think that we won’t find Sora at all. Because how could he, of all people, ever be in a place connected to that?” Riku smiled at Kairi sympathetically, as he wrapped an arm around her shoulder… which was probably the only thing even remotely keeping her connected to the World at this point. Seeing this nice side of Riku again—from before he’d become obsessed with seeing the outside world and had lost himself some (huh. If thatdidn’t sound familiar right now)… that- that had been the Riku she’d had a crush on even before Sora. But as it was—as nice as this was—Kairi would never love another besides Sora. And having another guy touch her now, almost felt like a betrayal to him, even though she also knew it was really, really stupid to think that way—because of course her best friend should be allowed to try and comfort her… even if she didn’t at all deserve it. “Kairi, I’m not going to lie… when I was told, in Castle Oblivion, that I would only see beings of darkness—and places tied to my own darkness—I probably felt exactly what you’re feeling now, or close to. But as Sora would probably say…  there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel. I definitely found my own there, in learning how to use light and darkness back to back. So you- you gotta believe the same about yourself. “Especially since I know something you don’t. It would seem this so called ‘Master’ was wrong. Master Yen Sid told me that the world of ‘Andalasia New York’ is a happy one. And that the reason he thinks Sora is there, is because… Sora’s already left wherever we were first sensed him, and now Yen Sid thinks Sora will be going only to joyful worlds: because- because he thinks he’s more likely to find you in those, and because he wants to show you those kinds of things himself… We’re going to find Sora, Kairi. Believe in that.” And Riku came over to Kairi and put a flower behind her ear like he had done when they were kids, and Kairi leaned into his touch and allowed herself to believe there could be a good future… for just a moment. … Master Yen Sid ended up being absolutely right that the next world she would go to would be a wonderful one. Kairi landed on the planet the moment that a giant singalong was about to take place—though she hadn’t known that at the time, of course—and she saw her charge, Giselle (that she would learn the name of later) right away, based on the way she was dressed and how she soon started singing. Basically? It wasn’t hard for Kairi to spot another Princess of Heart like herself, and how she prayed that this woman would end up leading her to Sora as she tried to help her! But since this world was so glorious—with bright colors everywhere, sunny colors, sweet people, and more delicious food than Kairi had ever been able to dream of—she had no idea why an acidic apple came flying towards both Giselle and a man on a bicycle. Only the Princess’ great reflexes with the Keyblade kept both of them safe… and the apples even began to try and burn through Destiny’s Embrace and shatter them the way Riku’s Way to the Dawn had. But Kairi uttered a quick “curaga” on her blade and was thankfully able to save it in time. But Kairi did not make Giselle and Robert’s (she’d learn his name later, too) acquaintance right away. No. She lost track of them in the massive throng of people, and instead ended up in a diner—at first just thinking she’d order something to eat and figure out her options then—when she saw what had to be the Princess’ prince based on what he was wearing, and the way he looked into the distance hopefully: the way that Kairi had often seen Sora look right before they were reunited again. “I will find Giselle, Nathaniel. This hard world will not deter me!” “As it shouldn’t, sire,” the man who Kairi could only assume was “Nathaniel” answered back to his prince before scurrying away somewhat suspiciously, but Kairi didn’t give it much mind. Instead, she went to sit beside the sweet—and somewhat clueless, it would seem—prince, who reminded Kairi a bit of her Sora, if she was being honest. She reached her hand out to shake the man’s hand and said with start of a smile, “Hello there. My name is Kairi… and I think I may have seen the woman you’re looking for. And I think I could find her for you, if I really tried.” “Could you really, kind lady?!” And the prince was on his feet at once, before then kneeling and then kissing Kairi’s hand—something that made her feel guilty like Riku hugging her had, but she tried to force the feeling down—“Oh, you doing that would be worth more than all the money in all the lands. What can I do to make your search up to you? Just name it, and it’s yours.” Normally, Kairi would have told this prince—Edward, he was whispering his name to her now—that that wasn’t necessary. That she only wanted to help because it was in her heart to do so… but Kairi also couldn’t help feeling this was her chance and lead to Sora, perhaps! Sora had always aided others in the worlds on their quests, that would then take him further in his own, right? Maybe the same thing was happening here. Perhaps Edward was meant to find Sora for her, and she’d find Giselle for him. “I- I’m looking for a lost love, too. A ‘Sora’. And if you happen to see him, and could just let me know, I’d appreciate it.” And having found a camaraderie with each other, the two began telling each other stories about their beloved. Prince Edward told Kairi that Giselle had the most beautiful singing voice he’d ever heard—and the sweetest heart… And Kairi told him about some of her and Sora’s more childish moments: of when Kairi was sad that she had swallowed her tooth, and was worried the Tooth Fairy wouldn’t give her a dollar because of it, and Sora had then pulled out his own falling tooth via a door, and given it to her. But also of their older times together, too: of how, oddly enough, Kairi had felt more butterflies when Sora’s fingers had just brushed against hers when she’d given him Mickey’s letter, than when he’d given her her lucky charm back slightly before that… and how that had just kept growing and growing. The two of them—totally lost in their love for others… and not even realizing people had gathered around them to listen to their “fantastical narratives”—probably would have continued on there, if Kairi hadn’t started hearing an ominous voice in her head… coming from the kitchen, it sounded like, and talking about killing someone? If she’d heard them correctly?! And if she hadn’t started feeling darkness in that exact moment… that she know wasn’t coming from Prince Edward, but where, then? “I- I’ve got to get out of here,” Kairi whispered, hating herself that she was leaving early through this cute chipmunk’s—who’d just shown up on the scene’s—attempts to tell them something about Giselle. “I- I promise I’ll find your Giselle for you… but if I don’t leave right now, I’m going to do something stupid.” Like find this caster of darkness and sell my soul to them—or it—in order to find Sora. And as Kairi pushed her way out the door, she heard this voice in her head: 'Oh, little princess—much like Giselle here—you have no idea who you’re dealing with, or even what you’ve begun for yourself, do you?

… It must have been Kairi’s day to go to restaurants—despite the fact that she was seasoned Keyblade wielder, who should have been out on the streets fighting Heartless… wasn’t that what she’d wanted and what the worlds usually seemed to want?—because after a lot of searching; and not before she fought a Heartless version of herself, that some mysterious force had made who had kept taunting her about her stupidity—Kairi found herself going to a pizzeria just for a bite to eat, since she was getting famished. And who should she find there but the very princess she was looking for? Kairi saw Giselle with the man from earlier and an adorable little girl, that made Kairi think that if she ever found Sora… she did want to have kids with him one day. Kairi walked over to Giselle—not even worrying about ordering food at the moment—and prepared to tell her the good news about her prince Edward… but had to pause when she heard Giselle seeming to insinuate that she was on a date with this man—and almost seeming to be excited about it—before he hastily corrected her? Perhaps? Kairi was about to turn around then, thinking that maybe this woman wasn’t Giselle, after all, or to maybe ask Prince Edward if he was maybe confused about their relationship to each other if this was Giselle, when the orange-haired-girl saw Kairi and stopped her. “Uhh? Excuse me? Miss?” and Kairi could only assume that Giselle was talking to her, since—other than Giselle—she was the only woman in this place, as the rest of the restaurant seemed to have been rented out for some father and son bonding, if the signs were anything to go off of. “I believe I saw you out and about in New York today. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw you sending a flying apple from out of our way. And I’d like to thank you. What a strong and kind heart you must have, to do such a thing.” “What?” asked the dashing man beside Giselle—who, if Kairi was being honest, was probably closed to what her idea of “tall, dark, and handsome” had been when she was young. “Giselle, there were thousands of people out and about today. You can’t really be sure that-“ “It was no problem,” Kairi was already answering, though, before those doubtful words had even caught up with her. “Protecting people is sort of what I do. I was happy to help,” …But if only she’d been good at helping people when Sora had disappeared—and been conscious, in order to stop him from senselessly sacrificing himself for her—but- it was probably best to not dwell on that now (even if she wanted to); these strangers didn’t need to know all about her woes. No, she would smile for them and pretend everything was alright, instead. Wasn’t that how she always was with strangers now? It was only around her friends, that she showed how broken she was… but then when she did, she had to even wonder if that was a good thing to do. Because Riku had been hating on her some for it, hadn’t he? “You’re a hero?!” the little girl with the cute curls asked Kairi, as Kairi took a seat beside them… thinking that if they were going to be having a conversation here, she ought to be polite and not block everyone’s view of the TV. “That’s so cool! Do you think you could give me hero lessons?!” “I’m- I’m really not a hero,” Kairi argued, as she put a gentle hand on the child’s hand—to try and let her know that she wasn’t disagreeing with her because of her, but since she hated herself. “I’m anything but… And while dreams of… heroing are lovely; and some day you may become one yourself and it will be wonderful for you… try to enjoy the simple things of being a child while you can.” “Yes, thank you! The last thing I want, is for Morgan to think that doing dangerous things is good. And Giselle’s right: thank you for bouncing that ball out of the way for us today. I’d thought it was a ball, but it was an apple? That’s crazy. But thank you. I’m Robert, by the way.” He reached his hand out for Kairi to shake it, and she did. And the moment she touched him—maybe it was her Princess of Heart powers—Kairi could tell that Robert had once been a bright light, similar to her, until he’d become jaded like her. And Kairi felt a certain camaraderie there. And while she’d still try to do what she could for Prince Edward… Kairi thought that if Giselle had found someone to balance her out, when she was maybe too idealistic otherwise, was probably a good thing. “Ahh. I guess I’ll do that, then…” Morgan said with a bitter edge to her voice as she began coloring again, but still with a grin for Kairi. And maybe that’s why Kairi chose to then tell everyone gathered who she was (even if she despised who she was). “…Kairi. My name’s Kairi, and it’s nice to meet you all.” And here Kairi bowed at them, that the three seemed to appreciate, but Kairi also thought she’d done something wrong by their reactions. Oh well. “It’s nice to meet you, Kairi. And while I get where you’re coming from—because if I hadn’t tried to rescue Pip, the chain of events that led me to this strange place may have never happened—I’m also glad that I did it. Because Pip deserves to live, of course. And this land is magical, despite everything, and I never would have experienced without my actions… so I’m here, but I’m holding onto my love for my past through my memories.” “You tell them, Giselle,” Morgan supplied, and Kairi noticed that she was giving the woman she was coloring orange hair, too. Maybe… maybe Giselle was right. Perhaps she was looking at this whole thing wrong. And could she, too, now balance her sense of reality with that old idealism somehow? And it was just when Kairi was about to tell Morgan of some of Sora and Riku's adventures--to prove she wasn't completely against teens saving the world--that the chipmunk Kairi had seen earlier appeared on the scene! "Pip!" Giselle exclaimed, as both Giselle and Morgan--and even Kairi herself cooed over him--and when he told Giselle that her prince was there to save her, Kairi cut in that she had meant to tell her that. But then somehow or another, Pip ended up in a pizza, as a man was trying to get him, and Morgan was frantic. And when the pizza went in the oven, Kairi had never felt worse in her life. And when she proved to be the only one who could calm Morgan down--as she got lost in her tales of Chip and Dale--Robert and Giselle invited her over. … Later that night, once Kairi had exhausted herself in trying to assure Morgan that Pip—from what she had seen—seemed plenty resourceful and had surely escaped with his wits about him, she exited the little girl’s room to find Robert and Giselle in some sort of argument… Well, that wasn’t entirely true. First, she’d unintentionally overheard Robert saying how his first wife had left him and that had made him wake up to the idea that true love didn’t exist. And Kairi’s heart had gone out to him, because even while she still strongly believed in what she and Sora had and always would… it had been losing him that had made her somewhat wake up to the horrors of the world. But after that, Robert began trying to Giselle that Prince Edward wasn’t coming for her for whatever reason—something that Kairi had been about to step in and correct—until Giselle sort of ended up snapping herself. And that was what really called on Kairi to make herself known, despite the fact that none of this was really her business at all. Because… was Giselle also somewhat waking up like she had? Giselle seemed furious for the first time that Kairi had ever seen (not that she’d known her much thus far, to be fair). But she seemed oddly… thrilled about it, as she laughed gleefully at the fact that she was angry… before Robert walked off, after Giselle’s hand had found its way to his chest. Kairi remembered what it had felt like to have Sora’s chest pressed up against her own, as he had saved her from Terra-Xehanort… and it was that, more than anything, that made Kairi finally decide to make her presence known and to tell Giselle what was in her heart. “You- you have a right to angel, Giselle. All- all people do. And don’t let anyone tell you any differently, okay? Especially if someone you love has hurt you… intentionally, or not.” Giselle didn’t say anything for a long time—and Kairi was beginning to wonder if she would—so she occupied her time by looking at the holes in the curtains, that it looked as though Giselle had used to make her dresses… the strange pizza boxes that actually seemed to hold something called “doughnut sandwiches”, and the homework of Morgan’s that was littering the couch and hadn’t found its way into her schoolbag yet. There was such a nice, normal life here… and Kairi selfishly wanted to be part of it… Or rather, a life like this with Sora. "Kairi... if you don't mind my asking, do you prefer the emotion of anger? You're kind of acting like it, from what I’ve seen—or maybe hiding your true heart underneath it, a bit like Nancy—not! that I'm badmouthing you or Nancy! You're such a lovely girl, who I sense is trying to be there for everyone here. And as for Nancy… deep down, I sense that she wants something magical like what I have with my Edward." Wow. Giselle had sized Kairi up even better than Naminé ever had. And that was saying something! Though Kairi felt awful, with what Giselle had taken to mean her preferring being mad to anything else. But what was worse, was that Kairi was starting to imagine she was right. And if she was, the Master of Masters might as well have taken her for his plan now! But even if she was doomed, she would stir Giselle in the right way. She would! Kairi promised herself, as she clenched her fists so tightly that her nails drew blood from her skin that way. "I- I'm starting to think one needs both positive and negative sets of emotions in order to be whole. And since if I’m right, it actually affects you, Giselle, as a New Seven Hearts... I'm going to tell you the truth that I probably shouldn’t." “…You and I both have hearts of pure light. But everyone else in the world—save for five others like us—have darkness in their hearts, preferably in balance with their light. I- I used to think we could Seven Hearts could still feel the negative emotions that would lead to darkness in others' hearts—without it doing the same for us—but now I’m not so sure. “Maybe the way I am, with the light in my heart, makes me broken so that I can't understand those who have to deal with a lot of tragedies in their lives… and that's why they leave me. But I'm not saying you'relike that, Giselle... I’m probably just all kinds of a freak, because I wield a Keyblade unlike any other sort of Princess thus far.” But as all of what she’d just said caught up with her, Kairi instantly regretted it. And for it, Kairi almost thought she deserved for the Master of Masters to show up that very moment and give her a thrashing or something. Kairi knew that she hadn’t been applying any of her self-loathing comments to Giselle... but why even sayany of them out loud, then, on the off-chance that Giselle would still take it the wrong way? Kairi was about to apologize for everything she’d just done, but before she could Giselle was throwing her arms around her. "…It sounds to me that you've suffered very much, Kairi, and I'm so sorry for that... You've given me a lot to think over, and I believe most of it. Before, I honestly would have thought you were wrong about needing to feel things like anger, sadness, and envy... but through comparing and contrasting those with their opposite, isn't that how we know the good?" But even with Giselle offering Kairi an olive branch here, she still wanted to try and make things right with her. She thought that the new Princess was perhaps being too kind to her, like Anna, Rapunzel, and even Elsa. But when the woman pulled away from Kairi with a calculating look in her eyes, the auburn-haired-girl thought Giselle must have figured out all the secrets of the multiverse, and she believed in her. … Kairi couldn’t sleep that night, as everything she had thought about and discussed with Giselle hours before—and memories of everything she had been through post-Sora’s disappearance—was causing a conga line of trauma in her heart. So when she eventually heard what sounded like a crash at the door and loud voices, Kairi partly thought she was still dreaming—from the few hours she had been able to sleep—but when she heard the angry tone of Prince Edward, and what sounded like a squeak from Robert, she knew that things had gone to hell in a handbasket and she darted out of bed. And with Destiny’s Embrace acting like more of an extension of her arm than it ever had before, she stopped Prince Edward from dispatching Robert just in time: as she blocked Prince Edward’s weapon with her own. Not having to be told to move twice, Robert moved over to Giselle’s side as they both tried to scream to Prince Edward what was going on. “Fair Kairi, was I wrong to trust you?! Were you also a part of the hideous scheme that took my Giselle away from me all along?!” as he asked this question, the prince was able to cut Kairi’s cheek and—in her shock for that—nearly stab it into her chest. But Kairi simply put a hand over the wound to halt some of the worst of its attributes, and then kicked at him so that he fell into a beanbag chair behind them. Kairi aimed her Keyblade at the Prince, and was about to perform a “Stop” spell on him, if necessary—despite the fact that she didn’t want to seem like she was a witch, to add fuel to Prince Edward’s theory—but it wasn’t necessary when Giselle ran to Edward’s side and embraced him. “Edward, dear, I fell into this land by accident and these kind people have been helping me ever since.” “Oh!” Edward exclaimed, with his demeanor changing completely—back to the man Kairi had actually liked—as he smiled at everyone and offered them his hand. “Then you have my most sincere thank yous, peasants.” And having had enough excitement for one morning—for one life, really—Kairi went back to sleep. She’d deal with whatever Kingdom Hearts was trying to tell her when she had more sleep or caffeine in her system. Preferably both. … When Kairi next awoke—far into the night this time. Oops—it was to find out that Prince Edward and Giselle had gone on some sort of date. And while that seemed right to Kairi—and what she’d been aiming for here along—she also couldn’t deny the sense of wrongness she felt, when she saw how heartbroken Robert looked about it. And as she did notice that, something dawned on Kairi—as she set to making him the kind of tasty coffee that Master Yen Sid had taught her to make with magic—“That’s why you invited me here too, isn’t it? Because I feel in this world, people don’t trust easily and wouldn’t just allow strangers into their homes so easily. You can tell I’m kind of like Giselle. And while you don’t love me, like you do her, you don’t want all magic to leave you and Morgan if she ends up leaving you.” And the way that Robert looked at her then, as he blew at the hot drink that Kairi had just put into his hands, told her that she’d hit the nail on the head. “You’re under no obligation to stay, of course. Neither was, nor is, Giselle. I just wanted to help you both, when I realized you were innocents in New York, of all places, with nowhere to stay and nowhere to protect you… And if you’re able to give a sense of fun to Morgan—that I can’t give her—before you leave, who am I to begrudge you that?” But you are fun to Morgan, Kairi wanted to argue. I could tell that from how she was reading the Madame Curie book, you obviously gave her, before she went to bed last night. She was doing this for you. But she didn’t. Instead, Kairi decided to focus on another question she’d had since entering this world. “I guess I am a bit like Giselle… and come from a place where people believe in one and onlys. So I’ve been confused by the feelings that I’ve seen Giselle show for both you and Prince Edward. But I’ve got to ask: do you think Giselle is your one and only soulmates?” Like Sora is mine, even though I had some crush on Riku when I was younger? And Kairi could tell by his silence, that Robert thought the answer was “yes”, or would have liked it to be. But he’d never say it aloud… probably because he had loved his ex-wife, and maybe thought that she had been a “one and only” for him at the time… Or because he’d become too jaded to voice that he still believed in that stuff, or because he thought it would be inappropriate to discuss or didn’t want to get his heart broken again. But Kairi knew the answer. And it made her sad, as she took a dainty sip from her own coffee and judged the world. “Life isn’t fair, is it?” “No. No it is not.” … Kairi learned the next day—after she hadn’t learned her lesson about getting enough sleep at all, for she had gone out into the night again and fought Heartless after Heartless and Nobody after Nobody—that there was some sort of ball that evening, that both Prince Edward and Giselle and Robert and this Nancy were planning on intending. And while a side of Kairi had been tempted to tell them this was a bad idea—because Robert and Giselle seeing each other all dolled up would surely hurt them even more, with what couldn’t be; Kairi remembered well how Sora had reacted to seeing her older and much prettier in the Castle That Never Was, after all—she’d been unable to deny Giselle and Morgan when they invited her to their “girls night out” to help Giselle get ready. Giselle was also suggesting that Kairi go. And who was she to say no to that, when Kairi was still very much a girl herself and would take any excuse to wear a pretty new dress? So out shopping—and eventually to the salon—they went. Giselle bought an elegant baby purple dress that was almost mermaid and hugged all of her curves… and Kairi went with a similarly cut light brown one (though faux snakeskin)… because she had once dreamed she’d find Sora again while wearing that color partly. And if she could try and make that dream a reality, Kairi would gladly do it. At the salon, she also gave herself a buzz cut—because it would help with all her fighting—whereas Giselle just nicely straightened her hair. But since with her hair option, Kairi knew she had—arguably—made herself uglier than she’d ever looked before, she made sure to go all out with her makeup and jewelry to doll herself up even more. But it was as the hairdresser was adding some wave to Giselle’s locks—and Kairi was buying the best smelling hair gel that she could, to even try and spike her hair some—that Kairi overheard Morgan telling Giselle that boys only wanted one thing. And while it was clear that the young girl had no idea what she was saying—thank the light—Kairi couldn’t help becoming livid, that this was always said against boys. Sora wasn’t like this! Riku wasn’t! And neither were any of the Guardians of Light, for that matter! …But then as Kairi realized she was getting riled up at something as silly as this, she guessed that the Master of Masters must have been right about her and that maybe she was doomed, after all. And Sora… he would surely never love her as she was now, right? So as it was… dark thoughts plagued Kairi, and it ruined a lot of her, Giselle, and Morgan’s time together—though she tried not to let it, and to point out bunnies in the clouds before the taxi driver dropped her off back home—and even her half-an-hour in a cab with Prince Edward and Giselle as they rode to the dance together. But once they reached their destination and Kairi stepped outside, she found her mood improving exponentially. Unlike the rest of New York, this part of it seemed to be kept pretty pristine: so Kairi had no doubt that someone had been hired to sweep outside of this theater, which made her appreciate the brown sidewalk of this world for the first time since she’d seen it. Kairi was also impressed by the wide screen TVs just above the building they were about to enter, that were showing various pictures of the inside and announcing in glitter where they were at. Kairi had never seen something quite so beautiful. And she bet her sister—the artist Naminé—would have appreciated it, too. "Well, shall we my ladies?" Prince Edward asked, as he kindly made sure Kairi and Giselle's coats were securely on them—even though they were about to go inside—since it was a bit chilly. And they followed the crowd and went in, and into the most gorgeous room Kairi had ever beheld. It looked a lot like the floor of the ball pit that Sora had gotten to explore on his last adventure—Kairi knew this from Naminé having shown her some of Sora's memories, on the off-chance that it would help them find him. And everyone was decked out to the nines, and seemed to be having the greatest time. And the punch bowl seemed to be made of ice, if you could believe it! And there seemed to be a purple gem theme that permeated the entire room, that even made it into the balloons above them. "Breathtaking!" Kairi gasped, just as Giselle came up to her side and smiled—laying a friendly hand on Kairi’s shoulder as she did so. Prince Edward took both his date and Kairi's coats off of them now. And as he did so, Kairi noticed Robert—and who she assumed to be Nancy—before them and she could tell that Giselle did, too. Nancy looked absolutely gorgeous—with her hair in stylish pigtails, as she wore a green dress with red accents on it. Robert had cleaned up well, too, as he wore a black tuxedo with his hair slicked back. Kairi was reminded of school events that she  and Sora had dragged Riku to—as he had never wanted to go to them—but he always stole the show at. Robert and Giselle started making small talk… and with that, Kairi felt somewhat out of place and didn't know what to do. She wanted to tell them both to follow their hearts, but how could she when hurt would come from it? She had followed her heart and fought in the Keyblade War, and Sora had died because of it... So to distract herself from the pain and all of the confusion, Kairi introduced herself to Nancy and then suggested that he and Nancy dance together, when it became clear the first waltz was intended for a man with a woman he hadn’t asked out that evening. As Kairi stood on the sidelines, many young men sweetly began asking her to dance… but she turned them all down, for they were not Sora or even Riku. And it was at that point that she—ridiculously, in her eyes—began crying, and wondering what had happened to the tough girl she'd become, as she found herself almost becoming jealous of all of the couples before her. It was then that Kairi heard the same mysterious voice from before. ‘Oh! Poor dear Kairi: doomed to be forever injured by this cruel, cruel world. But, hey: maybe it doesn’t have to be that way. I don’t want Giselle to inherit my throne, because she and my son will force me off it to follow the rules… But if I share my home with you, you won’t… will you, Kairi? After all, I can tell you care little about rules anymore and only want stability. Or, moreover… perhaps I can give you what you want from the depths of your very heart! And before Kairi’s very heart, a Heartless in the form of Sora was created… Though “Heartless” might not have been the right word for it, because that seemed to imply the Shadow Soras or Anti-Sora that Riku had once created… This dark Sora was so close to the real thing in his Anti-Form or Rage Form—even though, deep down, Kairi knew that it was still a Heartless—that Kairi could have almost believed that it was him, and that she’d found him at long last! But she also wasn’t stupid enough to fall for this trap. Now that she thought about it, this was the second time that Kairi had heard about possible danger for Giselle. And at the top of the stairs, Kairi could see someone trying to give Giselle an apple or something! The Princess of Heart tried with all her might to get to her, but she found that she couldn’t move… because—metaphorically, and even somewhat literally—she was split in two: her heart wanted to do the right thing and help her new friend. But her body, that had somewhat been succumbing to wants and desires in this place, wanted nothing but the Sora before her… even if he was a fake, it didn’t care. And when he did a “come hither” motion, Kairi found her body flowing to him of its own accord… and then it was following him into the dark corridor he’d just made on the floor—as so many screamed out for Giselle in that exact moment. ... Kairi, somehow, became aware that it had been moreso her astral body that had followed this “Sora”—as her physical one was desperately trying to regain consciousness in order to help out—on the ballroom floor, but there seemed like there was nothing she could do to cement the two back together. And the most awful part of all of this? Kairi thought that if she had had to fall, she had fallen for the wrong reason. For the most part—though Sora had been misled before—it usually had nothing to do with him chasing phantom versions of her. She was supposed to be like Sora, wasn’t she? And here she had pulled a Riku, almost, when he had listened to Maleficent’s honeyed promises about saving her. Just what was wrong with her?! And it was when Kairi was having these despairing thoughts—and tearing at the little hair she had in her anger—that a memory of Sora’s somehow came her way... of when he had fought Roxas for the first time and the former Nobody had been raining two Keyblades down on him, and Sora had blocked them with a spin and with just Decisive Pumpkin on hand. Idly, Kairi had to wonder if she was maybe doing the same thing against the Sora Heartless’ physical body now (because it seemed it hadn’t really come to this place and had tricked her. Was it still up there with her body, that was only starting to come awake?)... she felt in her body that she probably was, but she didn’t really know. Not when all her consciousness wanted to do, was to reach down and touch the face that she saw on Sora’s heart platform in his memory with Roxas here. In said memory, Roxas was now asking Sora why the Keyblade had chosen him, and realizing it was because he loved both her and Riku so much—as he stood between pictures of both of them—and Kairi thought she might cry. But she also thought she’d done enough of that for a lifetime, so she held it back. 'Are you somehow talking to me here, Sora? ...Telling me that I’m not a fool for losing myself, just for a moment, in my love for you? Or… if you were able to connect to me in this world, are you saying that you’re in this Andalasia New York?!' But as he had done in some of his second journey there, Sora ignored Kairi and she got no answer. And she was left trying to figure it all out for herself. But wasn't that how Sora himself had been on most of his quests? She knew when Ansem Seeker of Darkness had tried to behead Sora, for instance, that he had thrown Donald and Goofy out beforehand. So, holding onto the belief that if Sora could triumph alone, she could do the same… Kairi decided to be strong just like Sora, and she blinked her eyes open. And whatever the reason, the dark Sora had been encompassed by light and was already starting to dissipate as he cried out… and Kairi almost bawled her eyes out for him, or reached for him, but she didn’t: for through his form, Kairi saw Giselle fighting a giant dragon outside and she knew that that should be her priority. The massive blue dragon was speaking to Giselle in that haunting female’s voice that she had now heard three times, and had climbed to the top of a tower with Robert in hand! And Giselle only had a sword to try and fend her off with! Kairi summoned her Keyblade to aid her once more, and was awe-struck when it wasn’t Destiny’s Embrace she was seeing… but somehow Oathkeeper. And that was all she really needed to know, wasn’t it? Kairi was just about to run outside into the rain, when she was stopped by a plump, blond man, who was wearing outfits that spoke to her of Giselle’s and Prince Edward’s. "Princess of Heart, that beast is Prince Edward's mother, the queen Narissa. She wants Giselle to die so that she won’t have to give up her throne for her, and I'm ashamed to say I tried to help her with that... and with some plans against you." "We- we all make mistakes, Sir, but what matters is that you recognized yours, and told me about it so I can help stop things before it becomes too late. That's what matters. And I’m sure Prince Edward feels the same way,” for it was suddenly clear to Kairi that this was the man she’d seen scurrying away from the Prince when she’d first met him. And just behind them, Prince Edward smiled at this man from his court to seemingly tell him that Kairi was right. But before Kairi could witness anymore of this catharsis with them, she used flowmotion to climb the dragon’s back and was then using “Flare” to try and light it up. Meanwhile, Giselle and Pip were cleverly attacking Narissa’s head with blade and weight. But Narissa noticed what Kairi was doing right away, and sent her tail flying into the Princess' face to knock her away. And somehow, it was not the fact that she was flying backwards into a building that Kairi noticed while she was losing, but the rough indents the spike of Narissa’s tail had just left in her face. They hurt. "Ohhhhhh? Is the selfish Princess Kairi finally here to help her friend Giselle, when before she was lost in her own woes? Well, guess what: it doesn't matter. Either way, I'll smash you both into smithereens and still play myself as the victim here!" Narissa hissed, as she also sent Gargoyle Heartless Kairi's way—that tried to pick her up via her light weight and throw her back to the ground, once she’d finally gotten her bearings. But Kairi resisted like it was nothing. "Holy!" she cried out, as she released a beam of light from her Keyblade that then washed the world in its vibrance. But while it was enough to keep Narissa’s tail from moving, it didn’t seem enough to do more to her. Kairi was about to worry for that fact, but then she heard Giselle's voice as she slid down the woman's back and stabbed her with her sword. "Kairi isn't selfish. She's one of the dearest friends I’ve never know—who has told me many truths, even though it’s hurt her!" "Giselle-" Kairi choked out at her friend's easy defense of her. And just as she did, she decided to help Giselle with the final blow. "Pearl!" Kairi screamed, as she did an attack similar to Holy... but that separated itself somewhat, so that it could hit every target on Narissa that Kairi wanted it to. And as Kairi did that, Giselle batted the witch on the head one last time and then jumped into the air so she could free Robert from her claw... but then they were falling out of her hand and down the roof! Except... except that Kairi saw they were fine, and now kissing on said roof. Deciding to leave them alone for just a moment, Kairi returned to the ball room... where she saw Edward and Nancy running away somewhere together? Huh. It seemed they had done the switcheroo on mates, after all. They would probably be fine… But Kairi wanted to make sure, anyway, and to finally give this “Andalasia” place some exploring. And when she got there, she saw that time moved somewhat differently there (it also looked somewhat different here: more like the worlds she was used to seeing, whereas the other one had seemed more like the Pirate world Sora had told her about… or so she guessed). Nathaniel, who had once worked for Queen Narissa, was writing a book about everything he’d been through and an agent by his side seemed very interested in it. And in the background—as they looked through books on shelves to try and find inspiration for what Nathaniel’s book should look like—Edward and Nancy were planning a wedding and inviting Kairi to it, when they got all the kinks worked out… which she of course agreed to. And then Kairi was feeling a weight on her shoulder and again seeing the cute chipmunk from earlier. In a much deeper voice than Kairi had been expecting of him—though, to be fair, she hadn’t thought he could talk at all—he was telling her, “It seems to me, that—for the time being at least—little Giselle doesn’t need me anymore. But it seems like you could use a shoulder to cry on, sweet girl. Mind if I go with you on your adventure?” For the first time in a long time, Kairi truly smiled—thinking that this was how Sora must have felt whenever he had gotten Summons before—“No… I don’t at all. And thank you. But first, I think we should go back and see Giselle and get her permission first.” And back to see Giselle, they went… Or, moreover, back to see Morgan first: as Robert and Giselle were in her room, reading her a bedtime story about Twelve Dancing Princesses, and Kairi had been unable to deny helping to read it to her, too. It was when the adults had safely exited Morgan’s room when she was asleep, that hugs and thank yous were given. “Well, I can’t speak for Giselle, of course… But I think she’d be thrilled with you taking Pip as a thank you, since you helped save me and always believed in us… and love, deep down.” “And that’s- that’s why I actually have to go!” Kairi explained, as she looked at her two new friends in turn, so they’d see how serious this was and maybe finally know the real her. “Because- Because there’s a reason I saw myself in everyone here—and also why I’ve become so jaded—my- my boyfriend died… but I think that he’s out there, and I can save him. I just need to try really hard, and all the help I can get.” And before Kairi could even blink, she found herself in a hug from Giselle again—as the other Princess of Heart even kissed her cheek this time. “Then, yes: please take Pip with you. And if you need my help, I’ll even be content to leave here and help you for a little while, if need be. But thinking of here: always know that you’re always welcome back. Pip, Kairi, take care of each other on the long road.” And as Pip nuzzled into Kairi’s neck and she giggled, she found that neither one of them had to be told that twice. And then—right then—Kairi thought she heard Sora’s voice for the first time in years. “K-K-Kairi, go to- go to a world where you think I became the strongest. There’s something for you there.” And as a tear slid down Kairi’s eye, that both Robert and Giselle tried to wipe away for her, she thought she knew exactly where she was going to next. Author’s Note: I’m sorry that this took me so long to write/post. I hand wrote some of it… and that was actually somewhat my downfall, since it took me forever to type it up after that. And after Re:Mind came out and fixed some of my worries about Kairi going forward, I wasn’t sure if this story was necessary anymore and if I should finish it. But I definitely want to, so here we are Enchanted is also a dream world for me, and I wanted it in this story one way or another… but it was really hard for me to write—perhaps for obvious reasons—and I rewrote a lot of it. Hopefully it’s okay in the end. I actually wanted to do stuff with Nancy, but it didn’t pan out. Prince Edward also sort of disappears, which is a shame since he and Kairi were bonding at first (and they do still have that bond, don’t get me wrong). But perhaps it makes sense, that this moreso focused on Giselle and Robert in the end (and Kairi’s relationship with them), like the film.