#on good terms and just nice stuff aint

[timaeusresponds]

Poll said do the migraine post. Its worse than i thought. Over 1000 words before i even MENTION dirk strider. But.

Migraine dirk time. This post is gonna talk abt an awful chronic issue and the hypervigilance that comes out of it so if thats shit that affects you then maybe dont read if itll wig u out bc ik it wigs me sometimes.

Fair warning this is a LOOONG one that starts with just. Explaining the migraine stages and shit. I finished writing it and it is WAY MORE migraine stuff than it is dirk Stuff so tbh you can skip the migraine shit if needed. It starts being about Dirk at ‘NOW.’ If you wanna learn about migraines and stuff then read the rest ig. Disclaimer at the bottom bc i aint a dr or nothin.

The Preamble:

The like main thing I noticed getting further into my life with migraines being a persistent issue is how On Top of Every Sensation I had to become. My aura manifests in a lot of different ways, with the worst being brainstem, but mild forms being yawning a lot, dizziness, sudden bursts of energy and elevated mood, brain fog, numbness, stiff muscles in my neck and shoulders, tinnitus and changes in my long term tinnitus, and change in the size of my pupils. These are minor aura for a midlevel migraine I can treat with medication.

If you aren’t aware of the function of migraines, there is a Prodrome where the migraine is in baby stages, usually the symptoms are so minor they’re often confused for other things or are all around not noticed— think things like craving chocolate, depressed mood, elevated energy. After prodrome is Aura for those who have it, aura can present as visual disturbances such as lines, static, photosensitivity, but it can also present as tinnitus, body numbness, brainfog, yawning. Then it’s Acute, the pain stage of the migraine begins and you get things like nausea, headache, GI problems, insomnia, nasal congestion, minor to severe photosensitivity/sound sensitivity/smell sensitivity- this can last up to days. Resolution is when the pain and acute symptoms stops, either through fading or abruptly, but the migraine is NOT over, this is marked by a need to sleep, full body fatigue, aftershock pain, and sometimes euphoria. After this is Postdrome, which is like prodrome but After obvs, you’re fatigued, depressed, foggy, and still at liberty for the acute stage to return as you are not out of the episode. Finally, with rest and meds, Interictal- no attack. You’re good.

Now. You’ll notice a lot of those prodrome symptoms and aura symptoms are pretty common normal things to experience. Elevated mood/energy, yawning, cravings are all shit everyone gets always, and are not always a sign of an attack! You can yawn a lot due to being tired, you can crave chocolate because you are a human who enjoys Whimsy, you can be happy and energized because it’s nice out! But that’s where being vigilant starts to come out. Have you engaged with a trigger? Are you in a time of the month that is more likely to cause them? Is the weather subpar for your head? Have you slept enough? Is this yawning because you’re tired or because you’re prodrome? Is the happiness you’re experiencing real, or a change in your brain’s atmosphere? Are you going to need to lay down in the dark as fast as possible in a very short span of time or are you just hungry?

Any subtle change in your vision, hearing, body feeling, brain processing, GI can be indication of oncoming attack.

So you walk back to triggers- have you engaged any triggers that could prompt a migraine? What are the triggers most common to Migraines? It’s easy! Caffeine(not enough or too much,) soy, chocolate, barometric pressure, humidity, stormy weather, variable weather, bright lights or sunlight, posture, dairy, too much sleep, not enough sleep, dehydration, low electrolytes, too much exertion, too much screen time, stress, strong smells, loud noises, periods, hormone shifts of any kind, processed or cured meats, citrus fruits, alcohol, medication overuse, skipping meals, high sugar foods, msg, gluten, cold foods, mold, low vibrations, low OR rising blood pressures, etc etc etc etc etc. so on forever. So now we have to just narrow down exposure to everything that could be a trigger, or widdle down your trigger list through a painful stint of trial and error. Some of the triggers are also treatments. Caffeine is a common treatment, as are antihistamines, high sodium foods, cold drinks, warm compress, cold compress, and other trigger adjacent things that sometimes help. A bad time to experiment with these is during the migraine. This is also the only time to experiment.

A migraine can last a long time, after 72 hours it’s considered status migrainosus, especially if the attack seems to rebound from medication and treatment. A migraine that is treatment resistent is considered an intractable migraine. These suck. Some migrainosus never stops. Some break after a while, usually once some serious medications get whipped out.

In general, once a migraine starts you can take an abortive (if prescribed,) and OTC painkillers. Abortives are what they sound like- they’re meant to abort the migraine, though they usually kill the pain and leave the aura, resolution, and postdrome symptoms in tact— this is common with the main defense. Triptans- naratriptan, sumatriptan and others like them. Triptans work with a few neurotransmitters and getting into them is a Thing, but mainly they work with ones that affect width if blood vessels in the brain, how your brain releases neurotransmitters, and limits the ones that signal pain. Triptans promote vasoconstriction. The second abortive type is Anti-CGRP medications, Ubrelvy and Nurtec are the bigwigs over here. These, evidently, block CGRP receptors in the brain by filling receptors, CGRP controls blood pressure and prompts vasodilation. Gepants/Anti-CGRP are not painkillers so you usually have to take an NSAID, but keep in mind medication overuse will trigger migraines. This is called a rebound headache. You can only take a limited amount of painkillers during a migraine attack, less it come back even less responsive to meds.

If the abortives fail, your options slim down a little- some people are already prescribed a pretty intense painkiller like Fioricet either 1, 2, or 3. Fioricet contains Butalbital, Caffeine, and Acetaminophen. I have yet to use my Fioricet and my formula is 1. If at home remedies fail, it can be sometimes broken by a migraine cocktail. This is an IV drip containing any number of drugs, but the one i receive most commonly is Toradol(Ketorlac) for pain, Phenergan/Ondansetron for persistent nausea and sleep, and Benadryl to put you to bed for a while. Some contain dopamine antagonists like Chlorpromazine or anticonvulsants like Valproate, and some contain steroids. These are the big guns, usually administered in an ER and sometimes in Urgent Cares through shots.

If this fails, the next step I personally see is steroids. This is usually five days into migrainosus for me and the bigger big guns. They suck to be on but they kill the pain.

If that fails, have you tried every possible desperate at home treatment? Some people will cite a ‘migraine breaking miracle’ that always works for them and that they found at their wits end of the pain- feet in near boiling water with an ice pack on the head(poor mans triptan,) mcdonalds fries and a large coke, tying pillows to the head with a belt, masturbation, a bag of chips and an energy drink, the mammalian dive response trigger with dunking your face in ice water— if it exists, it can be attempted.

I’m not gonna get into preventatives because I doubt Dirk would take them! Just know there’s a lot! Anti-cgrps, botox, TCAs, nerve blocks, anticonvulsants, injections. Not in that order.

NOW.

How does any of that relate to Dirk Strider.

Migraines involve a complete loss of control. Aura is an interruption often of your very bare faculties, visual disturbances that interrupt your ability to see, aphasia that takes out the ability to read or talk correctly, numbness and weakness that remove your ability to engage motor skills. It is often without little warning and sets a timer over your head that says Hey!! You have 5-10 minutes before immense pain begins!! Stop what you’re doing now!! This man likely does not work around his triggers, considering the big ones like bright sun, screen usage, posture, and overexertion are kind of his like main hobbies. Roof top exercise, welding flash, his screens while he dicks off on the computer, these are things that he’s not giving up on and that don’t *always* mean migraine. But like a cat, ‘sometimes’ doesn’t deter him.

The interruption also cannot be ignored, often. If the threat of top scale pain isn’t enough, the aura itself is a pretty unignorable facet. How the fuck can you expect to effectively preform work on code when entire chunks of vision have been replaced with a growing ball of static?? You can’t fight aura, you can’t fight a migraine at all most of the time, it happens and you are forced to submit to it or make it worse.

The treatments, even the medicines, require you to continue to preform the lifestyle changes- dark room, quiet, cool air, rest, limit screen exposure, limit reading, limit sound, eat food, hydrate, and boost electrolytes. These are all things Dirk Strider sucks ass at. Not just the ‘eat good, drink more, and chill’ but the fact that the best treatment for a migraine is to do NOTHING. Nothing. Not ‘a little scroll on the phone’ not ‘a crossword puzzle’ not ‘text or call a buddy’ not ‘read’ not ‘knit’ not ‘draw’ not ANYTHING. You sit your ass in bed, in the dim light, and you either lay there with your eyes closed or you stare at the walls and do nothing. A podcast is okay when pain is light, but don’t busy your hands or touch anything or read or write or ANYTHING. Sit your ass in the dark. Rest.

It’s nearly impossible when it’s not acute pain and below a 7-8 on the scale, at that point you’re in prodrome or at least starting resolution and it it’s day 3-4 or 13-14 of the headache you’re BORED. He’d be bit by it a dozen times. Text someone from his dark blanket mound a little too long and rebound. Try and keep his hands moving by drawing or sewing just to get nerfed within an hour. He’s forced to not only rest his body but forcibly rest the problem solving area of his brain- this is a pretty good time to start processing just how much pain the body can endure without shutting itself off, but also a really good time to start facing the fact he’s going to have to ask for help.

It’s possible to endure a migraine alone, but if you have access to people who can help you it really means everything. This is a persistent, unyielding type of problem that worsens with any wrong move, but demands food, electrolytes, water, and cold compresses. The stages of cooking are of themselves hard, especially if you can’t see right, and having a body around to make you some soup and grab you a gatorade is like the kindest mercy. He’d rawdog like 4 before his friends clocked the ‘24 hours of no response or online activity’ as a sign he probably needs someone over. Surprise!!! Jane’s here and she’s going to make you dinner and get you some nice comfy pillows for your bed bound grieving fest. He’s subjected to the compassion of his friends and the forced rest of his body giving up and it would probably do him some good to face both of those things.

It’s get well cards and it’s care packages on day 4 and it’s dinner cooked he didn’t have to make and it’s someone in bed with him dicking off on their phones while they mutually listen to chill music and it’s a goddamn break from the work he throws himself into. A bad break, a painful break, but a force rest that means business when it says no- no. You are done. No more until you feel not just painfree but NORMAL again. Which takes a while.

And when it does ebb to the point of feeling mostly normal again, you still have to take it slow. It can come back. So it’s lighter work loads, it’s less screen time, more hydrating, regular meals, better sleep, because Dirk can either lose 6 days of work to a migraine or just fucking be proactive and try to prevent them. I know the expectation with how he behaves would be whatever subjects him to the most suffering because he Hates Himself, but the issue with Migraines isn’t JUST that they hurt really bad, it’s that they demand immeasurable time out of your day, week, month to be doing nothing, even if there’s work, events, hangouts you had to do. I highly suspect he’d get into the healthy lifestyle not as an intent to improve his quality of life but because the sheer volume of time eaten up by bed rotting is doing significant damage to his personal bottom line AND its making him guilty because his friends love him and show it.

But no matter how much you work to prevent, even with meds, breakthrough migraines happen. The brain does what it wants and when it wants migraine it does migraine. Which means monitoring. Monitoring every facet of himself, things you would never think to watch! He’s monitoring the strength or weakness of both hands, if the small imprint of a light burned in his eye from welding flash is fading like it should or growing into aura, monitoring if he yawned because hes tired or not- he did get a few less hours than usual last night- okay, so mark it down, after getting 5 and not 8 hours he’s experiencing a yawning attack which could easily be due to the lack of sleep but could also be forewarning of the imminent punishment for said lack of sleep.

Policing his meals, his activities, his caffeine levels, his heart rate, his strength, his pupil size, his ability to read, his pain levels, what he ate, what he drank, how much he slept, how early he woke up, how late he went to bed, how much water he drank, how much salt hes had, how his mood is, how his energy feels, how every minute facet of his existence feels and quantifies in the ultimate prevention of the biggest obstacle in productivity known to man. A 2 week migraine. A four day migraine. An intractable migraine. Aura without migraine.

If this sounds like OCD its because it probably is but thats for later.

I’m losing steam because I’m actively in a migraine stage, but I will say there are times on day 4-14 where I will think the only thing that could possible stop this pain is to detach my head so I’m positive he’s tried that method too and it didn’t fucking work (made it worse.)

Anyway

Dear God.

If this flops thats fine its more a migraine infodump than a dirk post and ill just archive it for safety.

OBVIOUSLY. I am not a medical professional and all I say about migraines is my experience as someone with basilar and aura type. If you think you suffer from migraines please see a doctor and know there are others out there who feel for you. If you don’t then im jealous give me your brain. I pulled from a lot of sources like the Migraine Trust and other migraine organizations, as well as just personal experiences and my neurologist.

[currentlyinlaudnastiddies]

Ill be talking abit about my trans experience, first some facts:

-i only want top surgery, no bottom surgery or hormone therapy

-my name isnt legally changed, sadly. I currently habe a first and a second name(more to my name later)

-i use he/they/it- i try it/its out so it may be temporary ^^

-i dont have a binder or tape(i meed to buy myslef tape goddammit)

-i luckily dont suffer from voice dysphoria or body dysphoria; idc about my boobs(they are a tool for me when i cosplay female characters, i am good at really drawing the line between character and me). Also i just want my uterus gone cause periods SUCK.

Sooo.. my sister was abit sleptical at first, as i wasnt the "typical trans guy" ..which was kinda not very nice, like i felt mot taken serious. And her and my younger sister did amde clmments "thats not very masculine" when i wore make up or "feminkne" clothes- they meant it as a joke but its annoying. I5 went quite quick with my parents, they adjusted and accept. But i jsut say i use he/him (as kn german tehre aint a term for they/them and i dont think they would go with it/its). Now i did had my fair share of names whuch i am not proud lf. Yes one of my current names is from a podcast i like- but my family outright refuses to use it. They use a outdated name i dont use anymore(not my deadname) which is like...it could be worse yet it still hurts. I think they will onyl avvept a name that "i picked oit myself and that ksnt from a fictional character i like" and then my dad ks like "you dont know who you are really..." which is like..oh thanks, now i have a identity crisis, well done! Or when he said that (the topic was therapy) "adhd isnt your biggest problem, you dint know who you are right nwo, you are in a transition" and its like..thanks parents. Hwo will i ever KNOW a name i like if you refuse tl adapt?theres a reason why i dlnt share stuff that bothers me with them, they wouldnt understand...atleast they accept my pronouns. Butnalso, thus causes me to invalidate myself sometimes...yea its not great

[spicybylerpolls]

I was there in the trenches of the sanitize byler phases of this tag. Literally a year ago the same discourse happened so the cycle repeats itself once a season. We just made it to kissing practice/makeout fics being acceptable when bylers were in-fighting about the morality of that. In every other fandom, there's an understanding that if you don't like keep scrolling. Don't engage, just block and find what you want to look at online without bothering others. But this overpolicing of how others run their blog is insane. The entitlement is rampant especially when the internet has always been the Wild Wild West aka never knowing what you'll stumble across so tread carefully and leave folks who aint send for you alone.

Not to mention that this misplaced outrage is over fictional characters when irl predators exist harming real people. If one consumes horror fic are they condoning murder? No, they're just a horror fan. So why is it not treated the same with erotica/smut fics. I have actual irls who are survivors of real predators who hate people misusing/overusing the predator terms over fictional characters on this site. They sometimes use fanfiction to process what happened to them as a kid/teen so their fic recs are pretty mature and dark due to the themes that help them feel seen/heard because it's easier to use fiction to understand their trauma at a safe distance than to talk to real people if they want to remain anonymous since that's very personal.

Are they freaks/weirdos/etc for wanting to read or engage in that stuff that harms literally no one? I promise real predators aren't on tumblr gushing about a fictional ship's sex lives. They're online somewhere trying to talk to actual kids who are unmonitored on the internet which a majority of adults know how to navigate better and have more access to since the internet was born in 1996.

To conclude, fight for irl survivors and prevent irl predatory behavior over fictional byler who would be in their mid50s by now. Also, newsflash, teens have sex, straight or gay, especially in the midwest when in a small ass town, especially the bigoted ones like Hawkins.

So sorry your blog is getting talked about when you gave a disclaimer, block button is free, and you let people know what tags to block as well. You're being nice cuz you didn't have to do all that, but you did, but nothing is ever gonna be good enough for byler tag. They must hate Young Royals with all the gay teen sex over there lol

All great points! And thank you for the support. And you're right. Antis must really not know what to do with Young Royals lol. The fact that some Bylers have been cancelled from writing makeout fics that are too steamy is still baffling to me.

[satirn]

Can you like.... Elaborate on the Dib - Mother Mary association?

Like you're making visual connections with the color blue and Gir calls Dib Mary once in an unaired episode but other than that I'm not sure I understand your point? What does Dib himself have to do with motherhood or like... Purity..? Bringing Christ or a Christ analogue.?

(I'm assuming you're looking at this through like a Catholic lens?)

I'm sorry if this comes off as like mean or combative that is NOT my intention at all :(

I just think it's an interesting premise and would like to hear more and possibly discuss.

of course !!

i am not catholic or religious but i do have expirence with church & the bible (because i read it) (also because my grandfather was a preacher and let me come to services[i didnt pay attention because i was 4 ��]).

looking at the og post again i realize i forgot to add these mesages to it so heres these ones.

transcription: [ "i think especially cus like, dib, at least in the show, like represents earth itself i think. and earth is typically related to like, womenhood i guess, i dont know. i guess thats why like, genderbent dib AUs i guess, work so well at least for me, i think. I dont know, it just calls back to that... womanhood-esque thing he has with mother mary stuff.

this is also why in my (AU), she'll appear soon but, the "ultimate dib" I guess is actually just a genderbent dib, called mary. cus, i dont know I find that imagry neat. it also calls back to adam & eve -esque type stuff, i dont know.

i find religion interesting, if you cant tell. its just, ive grown up with it like, around me all the time. I dont know, its just found its way into my worldview, i guess. not really but you know what i mean.

we constantly have like, dibs that just absolutely hate the world. and that is canon-compliant and yes that is good. but like, I rarely ever see a Dib thats like, truely like, in ーokay this is not the right term but likeー in love with the world, i guess. like, i never see a Dib that just likes earth, like truely. cus earth can be so beautiful and like, poetic i guess. i need a Dib thats like, into poetry, yeah, thatd be cool.

its just it makes me sad you know. i know nihilism is a thing that will always be engraved into Zim and zims whole series, but like, I dont know. something different would be nice. i want hope, i guess, i dont know.

its just that, dib acts as a guardian for humanity, for earth. but like, for everything, a guardian acts like an embodiment of the thing that theyre protecting. so with dib representing like, humanity, him having connections with like, "mother mary" or womanhood, stuff like that, birth i guess, the womb, would be fitting, i think." ]

or to translate my cough syrup addled brain here, Mother mary calls back to dib's connection/ symbolism of earth. Its less "the birth of christ/the messiah" but more the aspect of creation and life that comes with Mary's symbolism. its a extension of his role as the "guardian of earth"

now i mentioned/alluded to the adam and eve paralells between zim and dib but yall aint ready for that conversation.

[astrowitch]

Cuz you aint missing nothing💯😎😏😭😭😭☝️☝️☝️☝️ I love you giannaaaaa i hope everything goes good for you always, youve got the kinda soul where i dont think that will be hard. You are so cool and authentic and have gold inlays in your brain folds, and golly i think abt you a lot as one of those footholds in your memory that you like to linger on cuz they were comforting and kind and never had a snarky word or uncertain term outside of being a silly pal who says your art’s good when its not, and then youre also a metalhead, i mean youre versatille and rounded out in the truest way, the complete set up and i think humanity is lucky to have gentle people like you and youre proof thangs go right. Stay upstairs dude youre an oasis in someones memory box anyway im a pussy though so dont look too far into it but i also love mrs nothing cuz you, one of my all time favez💟 TO ME YOURE MRS SOMETHING no homo mostly

This brought tears to my eyes this morning ��, thank you so much. I didn’t want to post this because of how personal this was, but I really wanted you to know that I saw this. I’ve been going through a lot of crazy stuff in my life as of recent and I really needed to hear this. Whoever you are, just…thank you. It’s nice to know that someone thinks of me, because a lot of times I feel like I’m screaming into the void and people just move on. My heart is feeling quite full now. 🫶🏻

[adonaldson]

Art is from a poor to lower middle class family.

The movie hints at this a few times, and from my own experience being in a lower middle class family where both my parents were laid off at times, and I forewent Christmas many years to keep me in private school, some of how Art presented himself just screamed that type of life to me.

First we're gonna touch on some movie notes that I will then expand further on. So I want to note first on how Art talks about houses particularly Tashi's and Patrick's. Tashi's is noted to be big, but not as big as Patrick's parents. And he credits Tashi for it rather than her parents. Noting that it came from hard work. Patrick's parents he talks about quite honestly how I talked about how all my friends houses were growing up. They were huge, had basketball courts, had staff etc. Art has a reverence for it, but also speaks like he knows Patrick hates that his parents just have that kind of money, but like Patrick still isn't quite aware how blessed he is to be in that position.

Next we have clothes. This one sticks out hugely for me. We see Art in four stages of life in terms of clothing. We see high school, college athlete, pre-tashi as his coach and wife, and post tashi as his coach and wife. We also see Art in comfortable clothes, and Art in tennis clothes, and I promise this will make sense. First let me get the college stuff out of the way, most colleges the athletes typically where college athlete attire, they have college athlete bags etc. Usually its because of practice reasons and whatnot, for Art though I would also argue its clothing reasons as well, which I will get to. But just remember that Art is from a lower tax bracket than the majority of Stanford students. While Stanford isn't Ivy League at all it is the most elite university on the West Coast. So lets talk about his high school clothes, to me they scream a person who buys good clothes once, and takes really good care of them, and doesn't have much else to wear. We see this with his party attire, and what he wears to the girls singles open game. We also see this in what he wears to practice, and what he wears to games, note the same hat, but more importantly compare what he wears to Patrick. After the singles match Art looks pristine compared to Patrick who looks more rumpled, both however in Tennis Academy shirts. Art screams I am trying to fit in, I keep my clothes nice, while Patrick is I know I do, so I don't care as long as I can squeak by and follow the rules. This happens continuously for both Art and Patrick. Like I'm sorry the plaid shorts aint it, though if the point was for them to look like boxers then the look was nailed.

So I want to talk about the uniforms here, the clothes that are clear Tennis Academy clothes. Art is in nice clothes, not something that you would just wear to practice on a day after your recent competition like Patrick. And why this is important is it is very likely some of the only Academy official things he has to wear because he cannot afford to just buy a t-shirt like Patrick. Am I making sense on this front. Art buys probably exactly what he needs to stay in regulation and wear clean things, and likely no more than that. He may by one new shirt a year as he grows or whatever. He probably wears these things til they are worn out, or do not fit any more. From personal lived experience it screams he has his tennis clothes, a school uniform and likely not much else that wasn't gifted to him.

Now talking about his professional career. He still seems to follow the buy clothes keep them nice, wear things il-fitting that he did in high school and college save for the Stanford Athletic attire that is given to athletes. He is newish to the circuit and has not made the huge bucks yet. He did however make enough to buy a nice car. And from experience he probably never had a car, and so he got a nice one, did his research and takes care of it, note how clean it is. When Tashi comes into his life again fully this time as a coach, and this his wife we see he has better fitting clothes, nice quality Tennis clothes and equipment. He even has clothes that aren't branded, that look well worn, that are relaxing clothes the sweats and blank t-shirt, but with that we still see that they are used, and still not the same caliber of carelessness that we see with Patrick's more relaxation clothes in the movie.

I want to briefly touch on the meal credit thing, because this is huge. I know he maybe most likely lied, but not using all your meal credits is awful to someone who has to be careful about the money they spend. It also goes into other things that is for another post. But when I was in college, I would go to the store that had more like in bulk items (ie water and powerade) and buy them out and then give them to people moving out of dorms and stuff because I could not in good conscious let my meal credits go to waste. This problem was the biggest issue my freshman year, we adjusted as the years went on. But I once bought like ten people meals because I needed to use the meal credits. Just something about this being not on an excuse but a very valid one just tells me he may not have been entirely lying about the meal credits bit.

So last movie bit before we move onto more actual headcanon things. Art's grandmother. He mentions her alot. She is the only family he mentions, and we don't see or hear about any other family. Patrick gets his parents mentioned, and we see Tashi's father and mother. Now I know this can be argued a few ways about the role his grandmother plays. But here is how I view it. Art was more or less raised by his grandmother, we don't know if she is his maternal or paternal grandmother. But she is there and supports him. My guess is that on a very base level at least Art's parents are separated for whatever reason, and Art lived with the side of his family that had the grandmother. If I had to guess, Art's parents had him young, and the remaining parent lived with him and the grandmother with the grandmother acting more as his real mother. I would argue that Art probably lives with his dad who is possibly a trucker, or a construction worker so he didn't see his dad very often, and made enough to support the little family but not much else.

Art got into tennis young, but not with private lessons or anything like that. No, the rec center put on a tennis camp at a local high school's tennis courts. Art was enrolled in that, it was cheap for city residents, and it was an all day camp that lasted a whole week. It freed Art's grandma up during the day because she is getting older, and gave Art something to do. So Tennis camp it was. He was enrolled for the entire summer in spouts of week long camps with the only break being over fourth of July. The tennis pro that was hired to coach the camp took note of Art and how he got better, and more importantly got good. By the end of that summer Art was being used for demonstrations, and was given a card for private lessons. Art, who was using a provided racquet, and sneakers that nearly had holes in them, and wore the same five outfits week to week was given a card for private lessons. He threw the card out. When he was enrolled in the same camp the next summer he was more or less just seen as a helper because he couldn't learn any more, from the camp. The pro asked him why he never took up the lessons, and Art had to sheepishly explain why. The pro is the reason he got into the Mark Rebellato Tennis Academy. This pro recommended him for a scholarship, took the reigns and called his grandma who was excited. Art wasn't sure what to feel. He liked Tennis, he was good, but he wasn't sure he was that good. He was that good, and got a full ride scholarship, he also got in with good grades that he had to maintain. If you know you know.

So Art had a very different introduction to Tennis than Tashi and Patrick likely had. It also explains his calculative gameplay and perfect technique. Tennis summer camps aren't about hitting the ball but getting technique down.

So their you have it, a very brief look into why I think Art is from a poor to lower middle class background.

[musigrusi]

Aight this is Pt.2 of my list, enjoy

Part 1

Farah

HABIBI MY SISTERRRR

Will cook Couscous all day every day for her istg

Inshallah may your days be forever blessed and your plans always sucessful

Mashallah

The rEAL kind of Tea Time with pine nuts and everything, fight me

Will probs bicker about different pronounciations, 10/10 tho

I will make use of all the bomb/arab jokes I have been told and rate em with her. Will also make use of my new bomb skills I learned from Soap lol.

Throwing shoe contests

Alex

I feel like he would be the kind to speak arabic with that horrible western accent

Will defo tag team with Farah to make fun of him

Will also console him when he feels bullied

"You're doing great baby, it aint your fault you are linguistically challenged. DW we still love you"

That kind of shit

Will teach him niche curse words and tell him it's a compliment

Will watch from afar how he gets decked by Farah lol

He has a crush on Farah, say what you want. And I will bully him relentlessly about it.

I will, however, be his wingman and tell him all the things she likes/dislikes. Will teach him how to cook and season AND, most importantly, how to evade the flying shoe™

Laswell

MOTHER

I wanna be adopted by her and her wife

Will chase her with adoption papers until they are signed

That is all

Thank you for comming to my TED Talk

Valeria

The love hate of siblings, but make it two sisters.

Don't touch my stuff or I will eat your liver

But also don't touch her or I will eat your liver

Will throw chanclas at her for no reason

I can see her make my blood boil by teasing and annoying me

But I would give that vibe back tenfold

Will start a new rumor abt her and Alejandro every week

Will make and execute plans to lock her and him in a room and shit like that.

Gift her a cool shirt and wait until she wears it comfortably as her PJs before telling her that it's Alejandro's

Will send video footage of her sleeping in it and then her finding out to Alejandro and all of Los Vaqueros

Roach

I don't have too much to go off of him but the mother instincts are tingling

Teach me ASL, this is not a request, thank you

I *will* mother him just as badly as Gaz and Rodolfo, if not more.

Can't handle spice? Blasphemy, but I shall make you a serving with minimal spice.

König

Strap in, this is gonna be a long one

Listen up you Austrian Fuck

Honestly, I feel kinda bad for him because,

If he speaks English, I would have a meltdown over his pronounciation

If he spoke German, I would have a laugh flash over his dialect.

There is no way he could evade my bullying

Constant bickering over whose pronounciation is correct.

Listen you fuckwhipe, it's "Brätzel" with a nice and short ä NOT "BREEEEETZEL" OR WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU CALL IT.

This would all be in good humor

Not

Will bond over mutual hate of English and American"bread" listen, i dont know what bread ever did to offend you so much to lead you down such a dark path of mutilating its recepie but pls come back to the light

Cook off, because I like Austrian dishes and I will bribe him with Maultaschen, Röschti and Fondue.

Will have him speak French for comedy (have you ever heard an Austrian speak French? You are missing out on A-tier commedy my friend)

Mutual agreed silence

The germanic awkwardness is not felt between us.

The 'tism will also be happy, 10/10

Will force it to cuddle

Horrible Schlager and Après-Ski playlists playing on enless loop just to piss him off

Will use increasingly cringey pet names on him

Mausi/Müüsli, Schatzi/Schätzeli, Schnuggeli, Gaggibolle, Pupser, Zuckerschnute, Zimtschnecke/Schnäggli, (Creme)Schnittchen, Spatzi/Späzzli, Schnuggelpupser, Hasi/Hääsli, Bärchen, Entchen

Listen I have an endless list not only in German, but Swiss German too, which is infinitely more cringe fight me

I would not be above using French and Italian terms of endearment either because, do you know how sappy they are? You'll get a stroke just hearing them

Mon bijou, Amore, mon chéri, Caro, mon âme, Tesoro, Chouchou, mon coeur *insert gagging*

Can't rlly curse him out in my dialect since there's a 85% chance he'd understand it all, but also

He could not curse me out in his dialect bc there's an 90% chance I'd understand it all lmao.

Can and will constantly complain that he is TOO DAMN BIG and promptly abuse him for whatever one can use a large strong man for.

Will compliment on said strength and revel in his subsequent shyness over the compliment.

I could see myself be overly agressive with compliments for the sole benefit of turning him beat red or very quiet.

I love Nietsche and Kafka, two german speaking authors that the majority of german speakers hate with a burning passion. Naturally, if he were bed ridden with injury or sickness, I'd read him works of the two to him.

I am such a kind and compassionate friend, am I not?

Anyways that is all lol enjoy

[almalvo]

STAR TREK: DISCOVERY | S1E8 "Si Vis Pacem, Para Bellum"

[I will react to each episode individually and in full, raw reception and then post as is unrevised here onto my tumblr for the full span of every and all NuTrek episodes and series that have been and will be released. If this falls under your field of interest - I welcome your company in joining me. Enjoy the ride.] -------

"High Ranking Vulcan". heh. This intro though - it jkust makes me wonder the sheer potential of what couldve been for Trek. Bryan Fuller made a masterpiece called Hannibal. Not too sure on his hand in Trek - imho, it doesnt compare. ANYways. ugh i love seeing hte discovery warp downwards like that Owosekun - love her name such nice colours. consistenty good colours in this show for sure. i like how goldy inside the bridge is oh interesting. what an odd source of warp power its insanely cool though. that CANT be good for stamets. is that foreshadowing did you call her what she will become damn stamets can you be like idk a bit likeable tho please. like plenty of characters who are catty af but likeable in some way if even 1%. ugh. hi tribble. keep tribblin OO SO BLUEEEE SO PRETTYYY This is so weird to me in how this show literally comes out 2 years AFTER AOS3 in terms of production quality.

very pretty landscapes though Saru. aint no way you walkin this terrain with them feets of yours love the trees. saru is so scrawnyyy Saru literally looks amazing in any lighting no joke damn classic trek mist creature living rorschach blot Kol is so cool looking those red accents work beautifully on his face

such lovely colour grading everyones GLOWINGGG there are certainly some wonderful visuals in this show ughhhh Saru, the dust speaker is that a klingon archery set what is that HAHA i wish nah its a torture kit sorry cornwell yelling like that was kind of cringe lolll this pretty blue dust dome that ash and burnham are in is so pretty ugh something im gonna just never take seriously, "Ash x Burnham" nah get out yeah yeah however, Kirk delivered this line beyond any other human's capacity what an empty ass kiss god its so forced. another huge problem with this show is they treat these characters like we know them already but bruh everyone feels so much the stranger to me, even though we are past the halfway point of season 1. is just so weird. i am not invested in like any character, even ones i really thought i would/wanted to be but its liek the show takes them away from me i like how the klingons have a definite accent when they speak terran now L'Rell is so striking looking i love her eyes such a piercing look

see like i WANT to like this away party but like i kind of dont have any real reason to like any of these characters especially with the utter animosity stuff that never got really properly resolved. like between saru and burnham. it feels almost uncomfortable. to me the viewer watching from outside ofc. thats a really pretty flower i dont like this film style it feels too tacky so many stupid zooms so cheap feeling it feels like star trek, Teen Wolf edition. literally feels like its filmed int he same way as things like Teen Wolf that were almost 10 years earlier. its so janky. zero patience and sense to appreciate the scene itself without all this ridiculous cinematic embellishment. its so unnecessary. if even this show did this less, this show would legitimately be 7x better. saru looks so beautiful with that warm white rear light this is such a gorgeous instance of practical effects and they got the PERFECT actor to don saru Ash looks like someone ive literally known in my own life 😭 i love these red jewels on L'Rell's armour/clothing costume and design department did a great great job in this show's production - i have no beef with them.

i like saru's mouth shape its so odd. idk why i feel so detached from this show. oh dang angry saru. ferocious oml yo these are such pretty crystals] saru running in THOSE? HAAHAHAH damn had to CG him hahah that one camera shot was funny though it almost looked like the show said "yes. he can run in these". lol oh damn convincing gore i like how we continue seeing blood in trek with DISCO when i t really started in Enterprise. oh shit ANGRY SARU BRUH HE BACKKICKED HER LIKE A HORSE this stick man being so strong the way hes breaking that device literally looks like classic trek style bundle two hands together and bash DBZ style XD

really pretty tree thing though oooo the transporter circles at the bottom look SOO nice dude look at his detail up close its fucking amazing oh my god such masterfully done painting speckling im genuinely impressed damn, im sorry saru. though i think, who DOES live without fear. man costume design is wonderful. these red markings are really good they compliment their faces really well This is so odd. I have NEVER had this kind of feeling of "detachment" from a Trek production before. The fuck is happening. Ugh.

Not liking Bryan Fuller x Alex Kurtzman directing style in this show, like, at all.

I am just waiting for when this show gets better.

Cuz it's lost a lot of my anticipation.

We'll see. Hopefully.

[malwaredykes]

funnily enough a lot of Chris Avellone Writing™️ sucks in this exact manner as well. like "i can tell this was the first thing that popped into your brain and because youre so in love with your own mind you viciously resisted the idea of going back and really thinking about it and maybe editing it and just making it coherent" vibes. both in fo2 with a lotta stuff honestly, and in fnv with cass and lonesome road in particular

like with cass for example, i wanna make it clear that i Dont Mind that shes a hypocrite and kinda stupid and overall flawed, i like those things about her actually i like a flawed woman. i like that shes messy and stubborn and judgmental (and homophobic) and says completely bizarre things. companions dont have to be Nice People to be likeable. but good god some of it is just like. chris you didnt really think about this for long enough did you. about writing a companion that actually yells at you and then leaves you if your karma falls below true neutral, because youre a Dangerous Ruthless Asshole, who like, two seconds later tries to murder you in broad daylight if you make a dumb remark about her family as she's leaving. theres the fact that she asks for your help killing two people as revenge, which in itself does fit within the sensible bounds of "oh okay, shes a hypocrite, she harshly judges you for things like stealing too much or doing drugs or doing a first degree murder but shes then eager to pull some dubious deeds when it suits her, and gets annoyed when you suggest doing things by the books instead", except that in most likely scenarios, unless you're sneaky, it'll involve the two of you mowing down all the employees of two companies. i mean i guess being sneaky about alice mclafferty isnt Mad Difficult but good luck with the van graffs. doing a bit of a mass shooting at the silver rush. like you can say that since the van graffs are corrupt their employees are no saints either for following their orders but like McScuse Me who made you the judge jury and executioner here. cass we dont do that here this aint new reno. i thought you didnt like me being an asshole. id say walking into an establishment and lighting em up because their boss slighted you is more than just an asshole move. and theres also the fact that, evil business practices notwithstanding, fucking up the crimson caravan company seriously disrupts supply lines between new cali and the mojave which does not bode well for much of new vegas in its current state. so. you know? like at the end of the day a lot of Cass Traits would be alright on their own, and would also mesh together well if they got some edits. if one were to go back and look at the entirety of her character and really think about it. tone it down a little in some aspects. think a little harder than "well shes Kinda Dubious so she would do the bad thing". please just Think.

and then the whole premise of lonesome road... i feel like ive ranted about this before. but imo giving courier six this extremely contrived backstory was like. groundbreaking levels of bad. like ok so youre telling me that instead of being this refreshing blank slate nobody who very organically gets dragged into the big game, we had, unknowingly, basically created the setup of the games main conflict, because the ncr was just about to kick the legion out, but then we accidentally fucked things up. and youre telling me we were making deliveries of Secret Enclave Doodads for the ncr and theres just no mention of that afterwards, no further implications until ulysses brings it up. and because of all that, ulysses, who has a grudge against you over things you didnt do on purpose, cancels on making the platinum chip delivery when he sees your name next on the list--he knows your name--because he gets this hunch that itll end badly for you, so he lets you do it instead, and thats how you end up getting shot. like. Like. am i going mad. this is so bad. this is rise of the skywalker tier in terms of contrived and unnecessary. this is the kinda stuff you write down on a whiteboard as a very readable tree chart and start editing because its obviously too much. Like. Okay. Alright. Listen Man. not everything has to be about the main character. ulysses life doesnt have to currently revolve around us for there to be an interesting connection. ulysses also being a fellow courier but one with the skills he had acquired as a frumentarius and knowing you from work and then seeing you do some crazy shit around the mojave is already plenty good enough reason for him to take interest in you, especially with your potential to reject both [ulysses voice] The Bull And The Bear. it is reason enough for him to become your foil and project his own trauma and grief onto you. like controversial opinion maybe but that wouldve been enough. the rest of his backstory stays as is, he's consumed by grief and disillusionment, he loses parts of himself as he tries to cling to the remains of the few good things in his life, he wants to press a big reset button because hes so sick of the same mistakes being constantly repeated--and all of that indeed makes it fully plausible that seeing a former coworker he knows by name and face get killed and resurrected and do all that crazy stuff and get so entangled in mojave politics, would make him go Oh I Really Need To Mess With This Person, There Might Be A String Of Fate Connecting Us. They Dont Know A Tenth Of What I Know About The World. you know????? like am i going crazy? the game was rigged from the start yes but that doesnt mean literally every aspect of it has to have had several bizarre layers of events and actors all orchestrating it in various ways. then theres the fact that a lot of ulysses dialogue really is just avellone jacking off. i appreciate that ulysses has a lot to say, and has a particular way of speaking, but some dialogue lines are just straight up redundant and repetitive for no good reason and just. yknow. Edit, Man. sit down, reread everything carefully, and edit things. tone that shit down.

i mean to be fair, You Didnt Even Try Man is the common denominator of pretty much every part of fo3 that i didnt like. like straight up "you couldve spent an extra 15 to 45 minutes putting some thought into this and it wouldve turned out alright" type stuff. fully "okay now sit back and read the whole thing. the whole questline/scene/plot that youve written start to finish. the whole thing. yeah youre gonna have to do a couple major edits on this one this shit straight up doesnt make sense" mode. some real "okay this doesnt work though. this seems like the first idea you had for this that you didnt really expand on or really thought about whether its actually any good. please spend more time on this and consider a bit more than whatever first thing pops into your mind" moments. absolute "this is lazy. this is really lazy and you know it. i want to trust that you could do so much better. theres no way you think this is good enough" situation

[mocha-tapioca]

behold, my thoughts on the hirogaru sky leaks and cures and all that good stuff THERE WILL ABSOLUTELY BE SPOILERS UTC JUST TO CLARIFY

we need to address how the shows name is a pun on "hero girl" like that is absolutely sick to me

blue lead, which is definitely a first!! i don't dislike it necessarily, it fits well with the theme + im excited to see where they go with this, but it would also sorta stick out like a sore thumb among the other leads of the franchise who are mainly pink

main girl sora!! her personality is fine to me, we have our standard upbeat lead, but this is also the first lead to not come from earth, which is pretty cool. the fact that she wants to be a superhero is a nice tie-in to the show's name, with her name meaning sky in japanese so it reads like "hero girl sky" which is so adorable to me <33 her civilian design is pretty cute, i really like her fit tbh!! her bangs are,, a yikes from me tbh

mashiro!! i find it interesting that she's a white cure with a pink subcolor, reminds me of kanade from suite tbh. i think she's a total sweetheart btw her relationship w her grandma is giving me honoka vibes. civilian design-wise is also fairly standard (im trying so hard not to be biased here bc her outfit is so similar to what i usually wear), her hair reminds me of a mix of yui's and that one pink girl from kiratto pri chan. in terms of her cure prism design i absolutely love it and idk why???? like the space-themed skirt with white layers of fabric on top is GORGEOUS and the heart earrings paired with the bow?? mwah mwah this is a design that caters to me too much for its own good

these two are absolutely a duo they basically have each other's shoes they were advertised together.

as for the pink and orange cures, my guess is that they're mid-season as sky and prism are most definitely a duo like lovely and princess were. im neutral on pink, aside from the ruffles on her top her design isn't really much to me, but she's giving me the vibes of a total diva and if she's gonna be like sumire from liella im here for it <33 im sorry im going to be an apologist for everything she does this bitch does no wrong. with orange, i'm glad that we're getting another one but nothing really stands out to me about their design either besides the jaunty little top hat that's so undeniably funny to me. also that kid aint cis i am so undeniably sure of it that kid is the phantom thief of genders calling it like rn

apparently the show is also focusing around idols so if i don't get bangers for endings i WILL sob forever

literally why did we have to get another baby that becomes a cure. ITS GOTTEN OLD TOEI YOU'VE DONE THIS LIKE FIVE TIMES NOW. STOP PLEASE I BEG. her design is fine, i have never seen a baby with hair that long, but it's fine. i literally have no opinions on this baby besides we don't need any more babies. we have had multiple please stop the only time u peaked w these was with felice

pretty cure please give us a consistent plot and a good show this time around. delipa is a fun watch but the show is also kind of a mess and literally every other character gets more development than the main character

[shishikusas]

ANHEDONIA review :)

well hello there. after careful deliberation (and looping anhedonia’s songs on end for a very long time) i am finally gonna review it! the only song i am not including is cappuccino bc it isn’t a new song. and since it’s kind of long, i’m putting it under the cut. enjoy!!

2. PARIS GREEN: 9/10 in terms of new songs, we are starting off strong! i REALLY like the composition of paris green with the varying synths and little tambourine hits. usually slower masa songs don’t grab me as much but this one does!! there’s definitely a strong hip-hop/reggae vibe and i love it. also, miku and gumi’s voices are some of the best i’ve heard, proving that masa is one of the best gumi users imo. him using her in her lower range is always a good choice. there’s also a more human quality to their tuning in this song, which fits rlly well with their rapping.

3. PATRIOT BALALAIKA: 15/10 THIS ONE. THIS ONE IS THE BEST ON THE ALBUM. GOOD GOD. i could literally rant for so long about how amazing this song is but we dont have the space on our dashboards for that! everything is SO well executed, from using gumi and IA together to the overlapping melodies to even the key signature. note: it’s e minor aka my favorite key. as you listen to the song, even if you can’t understand the lyrics, you can still feel the story being told and the emotions felt by the singers through the song’s progression. that stuff is DELECTABLE. and the beat drop is awesome too!! aaaaaaAAAAA

4. CLUB KAMIKAZE: 7/10 this might be an unpopular opinion, but i actually really like this song! it being a ‘sequel’ song to outburn kamikaze, i think it captures a similar vibe to its predecessor without being a carbon copy, and it’s also really catchy. out of the songs on the album, this one is a really easy song to loop. i will agree that it is a repetitive song and it can be annoying if you listen to it for too long, but otherwise it works in the song’s favor. also.... RIN!!!! MY GIRL!!! thank you masa for this food. the harmonies are also a plus, they add more depth to the music!

5. SOAP SALOON: 6/10 i have a similar opinion of soap saloon that i do for club kamikaze, but i like it slightly less. it’s got a rlly nice beat (and the best beat drop on the album imo), but it feels like there’s an instrument missing from it. it just doesn’t feel full! also, there are a ton of lyric references to soap lagoon in this song - which makes sense - but to me there are slightly too many to the point where it sounds like it’s trying too hard to be soap lagoon. an upside is the appearance of rin again, and i am so freakin glad he’s been using her more!! he tunes her really well and oogh extra points for rin always

6. AGEHA STAINED: 3/10 this one’s probably my least favorite, which is a shame bc ageha glow is so good. i don’t think the slower beat fits very well with the vibe of the song at all. plus, the last two songs were more upbeat since their predecessors were too, so why is ageha stained slower? if masa wanted more diversity in his tracks, a standalone song would’ve fit a lot better. it suffers from the same emptiness as soap saloon, but i do like the synths masa used for the instrumental at least. also, rin’s tuning is cute. the rest is just.... eh. i don’t hate it but it just could’ve been so much better!

7. Yami Tsubaki: 6/10 i can’t actually tell if this is supposed to be a ‘sequel’ song to diseased princess or not, but either way it’s pretty solid! it’s got the same type of beat as a lot of masa’s more recent traditional songs, and said beat is pretty great. don’t fix what aint broken! this time, though there’s the surprise addition of brass instruments to the mix, which i think is neat. the only problem with this is that the brass can become grating when looping the song for too long.

8. TOYS MARCH: 5/10 our final song! toy’s march is kind of the ‘heaven’ of ANHEDONIA - a unique, happier song to finish off the album. that being said, it’s a lot better than heaven was but still not very memorable to me. i think the instrumentals are cute and it definitely gets points for the kazoo, but idk. it just doesn’t click for me. i don’t dislike it tho! i can appreciate the acoustic guitars and sort of carefree vibe that it brings to the table.

overall, i rlly like ANHEDONIA! it’s not my favorite album (that would be ALCATRAZ), but it is pretty solid to me. i’d probably put it in a solid 3rd place out of all of masa’s albums. i really like the diversity of song styles he used, and the production value is through the roof! not all of the songs are iconic bangers like patriot balalaika, but i like them all to a certain degree at least. i also appreciate masa making ‘sequel’ songs to some of his more popular ones instead of just remastering them again, which would’ve been easier but less interesting to listen to. i just wish there were more songs!! 8 just doesn’t seem like enough to me, especially for a 10th anniversary album. but what we got was still pretty awesome!! OVERALL: 7.5/10

[aquagustd]

omfg yus idk how u do it tbh.

these asks are buggin the hell outta me. like literally my eye is twitching. i seriously think its not that deep to be so invested on who oc ends up with 😭 let the author do her thing yall 😭😭 do u know how many tae/jk fics are out there? i dont get why people read certain things and expect everything to go the way they want. like where is this entitlement coming from yall? pls step back and take a breath damn!!

seriously i just... as much as i have my biases and stuff i just think that some of yall realllyyy need to realize that good writing isnt always rainbows and sunshine. i think oc is written realistically in terms of her responses and words... she has every right to be upset!!! then again she is THAT bitch! why are yall not thinking. its OKAY if the ending is not what u want. go read sum else!!! we aint even that far into the plot 🙄 its all fun and all but stop taking everything so personally if u are!!! maybe its a sign to touch some grass shiiii...

im sorry i just love ur writing and i promise u the real ones will know how to separate reality from FICTION. please yus dont feel any pressure to make it go one way or another. i know u said u already knew the ending before u published but still 🥴 STAND UP PEOPLE!! clearly tae is the better option but who knows? 👀 there are so many theories i have. i found this story through the fast forward drabble bc i am a jk bias but this continuing to read the series has been a nice surprise! i am excited to see how it ends ❤️ im a sucker for junho. we can all agree on that MWAH

tbh there’s not much i can say to this because you said it 👏🏻👏🏻 just TRUST ME BRO. like i know deep down some readers want oc to end up with their bias/alternate endings etc, but the story is gonna go one way only. my way 🤷🏻‍♀️

yeah that’s where the fault lies — separating reality from fiction. hie jk =/ irl jk. pls remember that.

one thing that bothers me is when dialogue is TOO PERFECT. like people make mistakes when they speak, they say the wrong things all the time, they hurt other’s feelings, they blurt out shit. and i try to keep that in my writing. mostly bc it gets the reader deeper into the story. like personally — i know a story is good when i’m reading & i forget where tf i am irl 🥴 lmao.

y/n’s character is not perfect & i know she can be frustrating at times bc why can’t she just settle things once and for all ?? because she’s human. and like you said — in life not everything is rainbows & sunshine. not everyone has a happy ending. and i know it’s fanfiction. i just want to write a story that someone remembers. something different. (this applies to all my fics)

thank you bb 🥺 i know my readers have my back ✊🏻

[wiypt-writes]

Stark Spangled Forever

 One Shot: She Is Worthy.

Summary: The time has come for Katie to be admitted for the birth of the 5th Little Rogers. It’s the biggest mission that the pair of them have faced before, but their friends and family come through.

Warnings: Bad Language words. Descriptions of a few things to do with childbirth that may trigger a few people…

Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark

A/N:  So here she is…introducing Florence- Flossie- Rogers.

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Katie Stark and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

Stark Spangled Forever Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Steve stood in the doorway of their room, watching as Katie packed everything into the small suitcase. He let out a soft sigh and she turned to look at him.

“Honey, that’s the fifth time you’ve unpacked and repacked that.” He said gently, crossing the room.

“I know I just want to be sure I have everything.” She shrugged, her eyes flicking back to romper in her hands. “We’re gonna be in there for a long time and-“ “I know, sweetheart.” He nodded gently, taking her face in his hands. “But we checked everything off the list. And if there’s something missing then I can always fetch it. It’s not a problem.”

He took the baby grow she was currently holding out of her hands, folded it and placed it in the bag before he shut the lid, zipped it up and then turned to face her as she melted into his arms.

“I’m so scared, Steve.” Her voice was trembling as he simply stood there, his arms holding her as close as her bump would allow, his face pressing into her hair.

“I know but I’ll be with you the whole time.” He assured her. “And if there’s anyone that can get through this it’s you.” They stayed still, Katie taking deep breaths and letting his soft touch and smell calm her. Eventually she pulled back and looked up at him.

“Love you.” “Love you too.” He smiled, dropping a kiss to her lips “Now, without spoiling the surprise Bucky, Sam, Pepper and the kids are waiting in the lounge.”

Katie smiled, “yeah, I heard the door before. Plus Rori was whispering very loudly to Emmy at breakfast about some secret plans which included Moo.”

Steve chuckled. “She can’t keep anything quiet.” “Well, at least she’s not throwing tantrums about Flossie anymore.” Katie shrugged, her hands resting on Steve’s chest over his blue plaid button down. “Small mercies.” Steve gave a little chuckle. “True. I’ll go down and tell them you’re coming then you can walk in and look surprised, okay?”

“Sounds like a plan…and you’d know, because-“ “Doll, just don’t…” He cut her off before she could launch into that infernal song and she giggled, her smile lighting up her pretty face, and it warmed his heart to see her worry melt away, even if he knew it was only temporary. He softly kissed her forehead before he left the room.

Katie glanced at the now closed suitcase and took a deep breath. She knew she had everything she needed, if truth be told she’d been re-packing because she didn’t have anything else she could do. This entire situation felt like it was out of her control, and that was what was worrying her. Not to mention the operation itself, the recovery, the apparent menopausal symptoms she was going to feel…but the worst bit, the bit she was absolutely terrified off was the fact they were going to have to numb her from the waist down.

But, Steve would be there. That she knew. And there was nothing else to be done about the situation, there was simply no other way their baby girl could be delivered without Katie’s life being left hanging in the balance, which both of them knew was just not an option. Steve because, well frankly the thought of being without her made him physically sick, and Katie couldn’t bear the thought of leaving him behind with her kids.

Wiping her eyes, she checked her mascara hadn’t run, fluffed her long hair out slightly which had been done that morning- one final pamper session before she was once more reduced to merely making sure there was no baby puke in it- and she headed out onto the landing and down the stairs. Taking a deep breath she fixed a smile on her face and walked into the lounge, and at the sight of her four kids, husband, best friends, sister-in-law and niece the smile became a genuine one as she was greeted with hugs and kisses.

“How you feeling?” Bucky whispered, his lips pressing to her temple in a friendly show of affection.

“Petrified.” She replied simply and he responded by gripping her a little tighter, his hand rubbing softly at her back

“You got this, Doll face. You always do.”

Katie gave him a smile as she stepped back and turned to Steve who was watching her, Harry perched on his hips. He gave her a wink as she walked towards them, smiling at Harry who stretched his arms out towards her.

“Hug momma!” He grinned and she smiled, allowing him to settle his arms around her neck, kissing his check, whilst Steve kept him safely gripped in his arms.

“So,” Pepper cleared her throat, “we know that you probably wanted a quiet evening with the fact you have a fairly busy day tomorrow…” at that Katie chuckled as Pepper picked a paper gift bag up from the coffee table, “but we just wanted to stop by and give you a little something that hopefully comes in handy whilst your recovering.”

Katie stepped forward and gently reached into the paper gift bag. Led on the top were some beautiful L’OCCITAINE toiletries, all in miniature sizes for her to take with her.

“They’re from me!” Morgan beamed from where she was sat next to Jamie on the couch, the pair of them looking at something on a tablet. Katie smiled and then returned to the bag, her hands brushing on the soft towelling of a robe as she pulled it free. It was a deep blue with gold detailing, just like her old Supernova suit and on the front over the left hand side her star had been embroidered. She took a deep shuddering breath and looked at Pepper, her eyes filling with tears.

“Just for those moments when you’re in there and need reminding of the Superhero you are.” Pepper said gently as Katie stepped towards her, the two women embracing.

“I wish he was here.” Katie whispered, who he was needed no explanation, and Pepper gave her a harder squeeze before she pulled back.

“He’d be so proud of you, you know.” Pepper whispered to her gently as Katie reached up to wipe the tears which had slid down her face.

“Momma’s upset Daddy.” Harry looked at Steve who pressed a kiss to the boy’s head, his own emotions threatening to bubble over.

“Don’t worry about it, buddy.” Steve assured him, smiling at the tot. “Momma’s just a little tired and the baby’s making her feel things, that’s all.”

“Are you okay Auntie Kiddo?” Morgan spoke and Katie turned to look at her, smiling as Tony’s eyes looked back at her form her Niece’s face.

“I am now.” She smiled, crossing the room and bending to give her niece a huge hug. “Thank you for the gift sweetie, it’s going to come in real useful.”

She rest a hand on her bump, her other hand going to her back and Steve, spotting the signs well enough, gently handed Harry over to Bucky and moved to help her sit down on the other sofa.

“You good?” His hand gently cupped her face and she nodded, smiling as he dropped a kiss to her cheek.

Emmy, who had been in the kitchen with Rori walked into the room and the pair of them dropped some snacks onto the table. The adults and kids alike descended like a swarm and Jamie took the opportunity to head over to his mom, handing her a box wrapped in gold paper upon which paw prints had been drawn.

She frowned at him and he shrugged at her.

“It’s from Stark.”

Katie glanced at Steve who was stood next to Bucky, watching Jamie. He gave his eldest son a wink as Katie tore of the paper and gave a little chuckle at the new Kindle.

“He says he’s sorry for chewing your other one.” Jamie popped his shoulder as the dog in question lay in the middle of the floor on his side, tail swishing.

“I’m sure he is.” Katie smiled. “Thanks Stark.”

He looked up and thumped his tails harder against the carpet.

“I already set it up and logged your profile in.  Emmy looked at her. “Dad was gonna try but I stopped him before he screwed it up like the laptop.”

Steve rolled his eyes and Katie chuckled..

“Thanks guys! You know you really didn’t have to. I wasn’t expecting any of this, at all, from any of you.”

“Hey, you aint seen our gift yet.” Sam smirked and Bucky snorted.

Steve looked at them “What did you get?” Bucky ignored him and Sam passed Katie a small gift bag. She pulled out a box and opened it, frowning at the plain white mug.

“Erm…” “Yeah, you need hot water.” Sam nodded and Emmy took the mug from her mother and headed back into the kitchen.

“It changes.” Bucky said simply, and at that point they heard Emmy’s loud laugh ringing down the hallway. She returned carrying the mug, grinning ear to ear as she handed it to Katie. Katie stared at it for a second before he started to laugh as she saw the picture that had appeared with the heat. It was a selfie of Bucky and Sam, in what looked like Central Park, but the pair of them were pulling ridiculous faces. Bucky was cross eyed, Sam had his tongue stuck out and nose scrunched up with his eyes closed, the pair of them were holding up their fingers behind the other one’s head in the peace sign. Along the bottom the words “Don’t you wish your husband was hot like us…and this drink?” glared out at her and she shook her head, her laughter showing no signs of stopping.

“I can’t,” she wiped the tears of mirth from her face as Steve took the mug from her and shook his head, looking at his friends.

“You said stuff she could use, Stevie.” Bucky shrugged.

“Yeah, use in the hospital!” Steve stared at the pair of them.

“And I can!” Katie looked at him. “Be nice to have my own special mugs for drinks.”

“Yeah, see?” Sam nodded “Practical and personal.”

“I love it.” Katie grinned “Thank you.”

Rori, who had been watching all this, walked to her dad and tugged gently at his jeans. He stooped to pick her up and she whispered into his ear. “Is it time for our present now Daddy?”

“Not yet.” He said, looking at Katie who was now talking to Pepper about something, looking far more relaxed than Steve had seen her in days.

“Why not?”

Steve looked at his daughter and took a deep breath. He knew what the kids had made for her was going to set her off again, hell, it had set him off when he had seen it so he knew full well she would appreciate it much more if it was just them around.

“Because I think it’s so special that Momma’s going to need time to look at it properly.”

Rori nodded, accepting his explanation and kissed her dad’s cheek, laying her head in the crook of his shoulder.

Everyone stayed for pizza which Emmy had made, from scratch Katie was impressed to find, having followed her recipe for the dough. The kids rolled a small one out each, decorating with their own toppings whilst Emmy loaded the larger ones for the adults with the standard Rogers favourites, with extra jalapenos for Bucky. Once everyone was stuffed to the brim it was time to say goodbye. Bucky arranged to come back in the morning to be on hand to help Emmy with the other three kids as Steve had a sneaky suspicion that wasn’t going to go as smoothly as they hoped, Rori already making noises about wanting to go with them. He’d told her she couldn’t several times but she’d simply shot him that ‘whatever’ look, thinking she’d get round him as she usually did. At least with Bucky around to help keep their little Diva entertained, Emmy could concentrate on Harry a little more. Jamie, well, he was old enough now to understand and had already promised Steve he would be good for his eldest sister, puffing his chest out slightly as Steve had told him he needed to assume the ‘man of the house role’ whilst he was gone.

The house felt a little empty when everyone had left. Katie sat still for a moment, taking in the quiet before she announced she was going to head upstairs and put her gifts in her bag, but Steve stopped her.

“There’s one more you’ll need to pack too.” He looked at her, and at that Jamie grinned at Rori who immediately skipped off out of the room before she returned holding something behind her back.

“We didn’t know what to get you.” Emmy started to explain as Rori held out the thin book to her mom.

“So we made you something.” Jamie added.

“Daddy helped.” Rori nodded as Katie took the book from her, looking down at the black leather cover upon which the words, ‘Momma’s Memory Book’ were written in beautiful gold stencilling.

Katie ran her hands over the lettering and looked up at her children, beaming before she opened the cover. On the first page, there was a message which had been drawn, the large lettering shaded in various different colours.

‘The best thing about memories is making them, and between us we’ve made a lot.’

Katie smiled and turned the page, her smile growing even wider as the first thing she was greeted with was a picture of her and Steve taken years and years ago, before they even got together, on a night out with the SHIELD team. The pair of them were both looking at each other, Katie’s nose wrinkled in a laugh and Steve’s face sported his trademark, lopsided grin. She looked up at her husband who smiled at her as she continued to look through the book.

The entire thing was littered with photos. From her SHIELD days, through to the Avengers days, photos of her and Natasha, the whole team, one of her and Tony both laughing hysterically in the office, and even some press action shots of her swirling through the air over Sokovia, flying in tandem with Tony.

“Where did you get all these?” She looked up and Steve hesitated for a second before he shrugged.

“Pepper had a lot on the Stark Industries archive and Queens may or may not have helped us acquire some too.”

“His name is Pete.” Emmy narrowed her eyes before she tuned to Katie and grinned. “He cracked the old SHIELD main frame,” she informed her mom, and Katie laughed, “with a bit of help from EDITH.” Katie continued through the pages and eventually she turned to one, which contained a photo of her, Steve and Emmy way back at the first Stark Christmas Party Steve had met Emmy. They were both in their Avengers suits, Emmy stood in front of them, giving a huge toothy grin. Underneath it was a photo of the three of them taken at Emmy’s graduation. Across the page opposite Emmy had written a message – ‘Family isn’t always blood. It’s the people in your life who want you in theirs; the ones who accept you for who you are. The ones that would do anything to see you smile and love you no matter what. Love you Momma x’

“Oh, Em.” Katie looked up at her, her eyes filling with tears. Emmy smiled and sat down next to Rori.

“Keep going!” Rori demanded. “My pages are the best.” “Shut up, Rori.” Jamie rolled his eys.

“Yeah, shuddup Rowi.” Harry glared at her and Steve arched his eyebrow.

“How about the lot of you shut up.” He spoke, and all the kids turned to him, narrowing their eyes.

Katie turned to the next two pages, which were Jamie’s and contained the photo that Katie adored, the one of him asleep on his dad’s chest when he was merely hours old, and a more up to date photo of him and her in the garden which had been taken on his birthday the year before. He hadn’t written a message, instead his artistic nature had taken over and he’d drawn a number of little sketches. A baseball, Stark’s head, one of his game console controller and an ice cream cone. All little things that were personal to him.

The next two were Rori’s and her baby photo was one of her, Steve and Katie taken the morning after she had been born in their bedroom. Both of them were looking down at her, Steve’s hand gently curled under Katie’s as she held her. The more up to date photo was one of her all her Diva glory as she stood, one hand on her hip, the other flicking her hair out whilst she pouted at the camera. Katie gave a snort at the photo, and then her eyes turned to the page opposite which was basically a collection of cuttings from magazines of all sorts of princess type stuff, and the entire lot was decorated in a fuck tonne of pink and gold glitter which now covered Katie’s hands.

Katie smiled and then turned to Harry’s page. Another baby photo, this time of him clutched to Katie’s chest in the hospital as she kissed his head. His more up to date one had been taken a week or so ago in the garden, wrapped up so much only his eyes were peeking out. Katie had laughed at the time, as his hat kept slipping down over his eyes. The page opposite was a hand print, which had been once more decorated with glitter.

“I helped.” Rori nodded firmly.

The next page contained a photo of Lucky led under his tree, then opposite was Stark sat in the same spot.

And when she turned to the next pages she took a deep breath. They were blank, except for the same writing that was across all the other pages spelling out the kids names, except this one spelt ‘Flossie’.

“It’s so we can add her in.” Jamie nodded and Katie swallowed, the lump in her throat thick as she smiled and turned to the last pages.

On one side was the photo of her and Steve taken at the New Years Eve Gala, their first formal event together, and a photo she could herself probably draw from memory. On the next was one of the pair of them taken at Rori’s birthday party the year before. It had been taken in the evening and Katie was perched on Steve’s knee, both of them flush from alcohol but the same love struck expression that was present in the first was just as evident on Steve’s face as Katie’s wore the exact same happy grin. Underneath Steve had written her a little message ‘Fate whispered to the Warrior ‘You can’t fight the storm’ and the warrior whispered back ‘Oh, but I am the storm’. Love you until the end of the line, Doll. Yours always, Steve xx’

“Guys,” Katie’s voice croaked and she looked up, tears clouding her vision, “this is amazing. I love it.”

“You can look at it when you’re away from us and we’ll be there, isn’t that right Daddy?” Rori asked, looking up at Steve who was choking back his own emotions.

“Sure is.” He nodded.

“Thank you.” Katie said, her voice cracking and all of their kids moved to give her a hug, Harry scrambling onto her knee, his hands tangling into her hair. “I love you all so much.” ***** After a pretty restless night, they were up and out of the house after Katie wished a teary goodbye to everyone. Rori had started to kick up a fuss but Bucky had quickly distracted her with the promise of a trip to the Waffle House and it was Harry that ended up having the meltdown, the fact that his momma was leaving him suddenly registered in his brain. Steve could see Katie was starting to get upset so he took charge and simply ushered her out of the house, Harry’s cries dying down as the door shut behind them. As they drove to the hospital, Katie remained quiet all the way, her hand simply wrapped around his where it lay resting on the central arm rest and he noticed her breathing growing a little more erratic as he pulled off the main road and down the small lane that led to the car lot. He raised his hand and pressed a kiss to her wrist.

This wasn’t the hospital she’d had Jamie or Harry at, this was a different one that Dr Kellet had suggested she might find more comfortable given how long she was going to be there. Katie had said to Steve that she doubted she would feel comfortable anywhere, but when they were shown to the room which Katie was going to call home for the next week or so, she was pleasantly surprised to find that it was more like a hotel room than a hospital suite. It was decorated in soothing neutral colours, the bed was a queen size, which Steve was thankful for as it meant not only could he snuggle up to her, but sleeping on those chairs or camp beds really did his neck in. There was a bathroom with a tub, a wardrobe with a set of drawers in, a small sitting area with a small kitchenette area where she could heat up food and make herself a drink, a two seater couch and a table and a TV on the wall.

The Midwife left them to get settled in and Steve helped her unpack, the pair of them smiling at the various baby grows they’d bought, one of which had been supplied by Bucky and Sam which sported the words ‘You think my dad’s bad, you should meet my uncles.’

Katie set her little memory book on the night stand and then frowned.

“You okay?” Steve asked as he spotted her face.

“Yeah, it’s just, when you go home, can you bring me the photo from my nightstand, you know the photo of all of us at Peppers from the summer?”

Steve arched an eyebrow and then reached into the suitcase and handed it to her. “I popped it in this morning.”

She smiled softly, his ever thoughtful nature always made her feel warm, and she leaned up to kiss him. “My hero.”

It wasn’t long before there was a knock at the door and Dr Kellet arrived, flanked with a midwife and a kindly looking, white haired man who she introduced as the Anaesthetist. Despite the fact Katie knew what was going to happen off by heart, they went through it all again, and then it was time for her to get ready.

In a trance Katie changed, and before she knew it, it was time to start. She was led down to the theatre room and directed onto the bed. Once the IV was inserted she was instructed to lay on her side ready for the epidural. Steve helped her shift over, un-surprised to find that she was already trembling. He took her hand and leaned forward in his seat and she looked at him, her green eyes wide with fear and tears. He gently ran his other hand over her hair as he pressed his forehead to hers.

“Okay, Mrs Rogers, this shouldn’t take long at all.” the Anaesthetist spoke calmly to her, but Katie didn’t respond other than to reach for Steve’s hand. Her fingers laced through his and he raised them slightly, pressing a soft kiss to her finger, just above the place where her rings sat.

“You look ridiculous in that.” She said quietly, her eyes roving Steve’s hospital gown and he gave a smile.

“As ridiculous as the first Cap suit you saw me in?”

“I liked that suit.” She muttered, as she flinched a little as the anaesthetists hand touched her bare skin through the back of her gown.

“As much as the Stealth one?” Steve asked, but other than giving him a smile she didn’t reply as she was busy trying to blank out the fact that she could feel a sharp scratch where the needle had pierced her skin. But her attempts to focus on where she was were not working. For a horrible moment she was back in that painfully bright HYDRA cell, as three men pinned her to the floor, her body already violated and battered, whilst they stuck whatever fucking shitty chemical it was into her spine leaving her paralysed from the waist down for hours, laughing as she was forced to drag herself over the floor.

Steve instantly spotted that she was gone from the way her eyes were scrunched shut, her breathing deep. She was absolutely petrified. Swallowing slightly he did the only thing he could think to.

“Eyes on me.” He spoke, his voice stern and she opened them to see him looking at her. “I got you.” he promised, his eyes locked onto hers, his thumb gently arching over her knuckles. “Always.”

“Okay, all done.” The Anaesthetist announced and Katie let out a shaky sob.

“Well done Mrs Rogers.” Dr Kellet spoke softly and Steve smiled, brushing Katie’s face with his hand.

“You did it, baby.” He smiled softly “Hardest part is over.”

Whilst that seemed such a ridiculous notion, considering she had yet to go through the actual operation, Steve, and everyone in the room for that matter, thanks to Dr Kellet’s coaching, knew that the through of a needle in her spine rendering her numb from the waist down was the biggest issue here.  And Steve was grateful for the gentle nature they’d all conducted the procedure with.

“Okay, you ready to lay back?” Dr Kellet asked and Katie nodded. Steve stood up, taking over, helping her get as comfortable as she could.

Then, Dr Kellet, looked around the room and started barking orders to the various staff in the room, all of whom were scrubbed up. A heart and blood pressure monitor were attached to Katie, along with sensors to monitor Flossie, and then Steve watched as two nurses began to wheel the screens into place which would block Katie’s lower body from her and his view and then he turned back to his wife.

“Wonder if Rori has managed to paint Bucky’s toenails yet.”

Katie snorted “She’ll probably be sticking fridge magnets to his arm.”

“He loves it.” Steve smiled.

“He loves her.” Katie corrected him. “He loves all of them.”

“And this one is gonna be no exception.” Steve smiled. “You know, I hope she looks like you too.”

“We’ll find out soon enough.” Katie said.

Soon enough turned out to be fifty-five minutes later.

“And here she is.” Dr Kellet moved, gently rounding the screens and placing Florence onto Katie’s chest. Katie gave a little gasp as she held her daughter for the first time, her tiny face screwed up as she cried, all pink and soft. Her noises died down somewhat as she pressed against her mother’s chest and Steve glanced down at her, sniffing slightly as he pressed a kiss to Katie’s forehead.

“She’s perfect.” Katie breathed, her eyes watering, “Hi Flossie.” She studied her daughter for a moment, trying to get a lock on her features, but she was slightly different to what any of the others had looked like. Jamie had been recognisable as Steve instantly, Rori as her, and there’d been features of them both they’d spotted in Harry but here, well, she looked like Steve in some ways, she had the same eye shape and nose, but then in others she didn’t particularly look like either of them. It was strange. She turned to look at Steve to mention it to him and then frowned a little as the tears were pouring down his face.

“Soldier?” she frowned, “What’s…” He wiped his eyes and took a deep breath, reaching out with a large hand to softly smooth over his baby daughter’s head. “She er,” he swallowed and then looked at Katie, smiling through his tears “she looks like my Ma.”

Katie’s own eyes misted over as she looked down at her baby, then back to her husband who was sat perched on the bed besides her. One of the midwives came over to take Flossie for the routine scores and clean up, before she was then brought back, and handed to Steve, wrapped in a soft pink blanket. He held her gently in his strong arms, staring down at the face that was sparking a million and one memories, before he placed a shaky kiss to her head.

“I’ve just had an idea for a middle name.” He looked at Katie who glanced up at him. That was still something up that point they hadn’t come to an agreement on. “What do you think about Saoirse?”

Katie smiled. “That’s unusual. I like it.” “It’s Irish.” He looked at her, then down to Flossie who lay still in his arms apart from the odd wrinkle of her nose and opening of her mouth. “It means Freedom.” “I love it.” Katie beamed “It’s perfect. What made you think of that.” “It was my Ma’s middle name.” Steve whispered, his eyes once more on Flossie.

“Wait, your Ma’s initials were SSR?” Katie looked at Steve who glanced at her for a moment as her words sunk in at which point he let out a loud chuckle.

“Yeah, so they were.” He grinned “Huh, how ‘bout that?”

******

Of course, giving birth is only one part of the journey as they both knew only too well, but whilst a C-section delivery left Katie feeling slightly less drained than the other three it brought with it a whole heap of other issues, the biggest being that as Flossie had been delivered five weeks earlier and by section, Katie’s milk hadn’t come in. Whilst, again, during the run up to the birth they had been warned that this could take a few days, what Katie hadn’t been prepared for was the utter helplessness she felt when she had tried and failed. Coupled with the fact that Flossie was finding it hard to feed due to her airway and throat being full of mucus, a very common issue with C-section babies, Katie was getting herself more and more worked up, the ever patient midwife simply remained on hand attempting to calm her down and assure her everything was perfectly normal and that being formula fed plus plenty of skin to skin contact would be perfectly fine.

Eventually they managed to get Florence comfortable and she took her first feed from the bottle, her cheeks working hungrily as Katie held her, Steve led on the bed, his arm curled round Katie’s shoulders.

“I’m so proud of you.” He whispered, kissing her head, his voice slightly choked. “So fuckin’ proud sweetheart.”

The second issue that Katie was struggling with was that because she had undergone major surgery, it was advised that there were no visitors until the following day. Again, this had been explained to them both prior to her admission, but once more Katie hadn’t realised how bad that would make her feel. She missed her other kids terribly and started to get a little bit emotional when she thought about them at home without either of them. But the wonders of modern technology allowed the pair of them to video call back home and introduce Flossie to the clan, Rori providing some well needed comic relief.

“I thought she would look like me?” She said rather indignantly as she was shown Flossie on the camera. “She’s all pink and wrinkly and….”

“Well, so were you.” Steve smiled at her “But besides, I told you, you’re one of a kind, Princess.”

Rori’s green eyes blinked at her father and she shrugged. “Well, dur…I know that, but she’s a girl. She’s supposed to look like me and momma.” “She actually looks like your daddy’s momma.” Katie smiled. “Your nanna Sarah.” Rori paused, and then shook her head. “How can she look like an old woman? She’s a baby.” At that Steve let out a loud bark of a laugh as Katie chuckled slightly, trying not to laugh too much as, well frankly it fucking hurt.

“Oh Rori.” Steve chuckled, shaking his head. “Don’t ever change.”

She looked back at him on the screen and shrugged “Whatever, here Emmy you can have the phone.”

And with that she was gone.

Steve stayed with Katie that night, helping her with the night shift as she was struggling to move around as freely as she should due to the operation, but the pair of them managed. Steve didn’t say anything to Katie, but the fact he could feed Flossie during the first night was kind of nice for him and it also allowed Katie to sleep and recover as best she could.

As day broke, the Soldier found himself stood in his sweat pants and T-shirt, simply looking out of the window over the garden area of the hospital as the first rays of light streamed onto the frosty grass outside, nursing his baby daughter.

“Steve?” Katie’s voice was thick with sleep and he turned to look at her as she gave him a tired smile. “Is she ok?” “She’s fine sweetheart.” He smiled, crossing back over the room. “Do you want her?”

Katie nodded as she shuffled up, wincing a little, and once she was comfortable, Steve handed Florence over so Katie could finish off the feed.

The midwife was in a little later and told Katie that she could shower before they checked her wound and then that she should take a little walk around the ward, with Steve’s help, to encourage the blood flow to her legs.

“You might need some help showering, too.” She said, looking at Katie who shook her head.

“Managed fine the other times.” “Yeah, but last time you hadn’t had an operation.” Steve looked at her. “Don’t be stubborn.” “Pot kettle.” She mumbled, “I can manage perfectly fine.”

Steve sighed and looked at the Midwife who opened her mouth and Katie shot her a glare.

“Don’t.” She said sternly. “I’m fine. Yes, I know the heat can make my blood pressure drop, I’ve done this three other times, damned it.” Steve let out a growl of frustration as Katie began to shift and he stepped forward to help her. “They’re just doing their job.” “Yeah, well, I want a shower.”

Steve helped her out of bed and she took a few shaky steps towards the bathroom, Steve picking up her toiletry bag in one hand. He took her into the bathroom and she looked at him and he held his hands up.

“Fine, but I’m gonna be right outside.” “Whatever.” Katie grumbled, shutting the door in his face.

Steve looked at the midwife and gave her an apologetic look.

“It’s perfectly normal.” The woman waved him away. “Her moods will be up and down for a while Mr Rogers, especially following the hysterectomy. The main thing is you keep an eye on her.” Steve nodded and headed back to the small living area of the room, flipping on the kettle, his eyes flicking to Flossie as she slept in the basinet. It was about two minutes later when he heard a heavy thud from the bathroom. With a slight panic he moved quickly across the room, opened the door and pulled the shower curtain back so fast he tore half off the rings. Katie was sat down, and she looked at him, tears in her eyes. He leaned over, brushing her wet hair out of her eyes and she pressed her forehead against his chest, neither one caring that he was getting soaked.

“Don’t say a word.” Katie shook her head, sniffing “Not one word.” “I wouldn’t dream of it.” Steve said honestly, this was most certainly not an I told you so moment.

“Is she okay?” the midwife asked from the door.

Katie looked up at him, pleading with him, tears of frustration in her eyes and he pulled the trailing shower curtain round her a little more.

“She’s fine,” he said, blocking her from view, “just dropped the shampoo and can’t bend for it.”

There was a pause before the nurse spoke again. “I’ll be in the office if you need anything.”

Steve watched her go before he turned to Katie, weighing up his options. Decision made, he stepped into the shower fully, crouching down. Katie curled her fingers into his sopping shirt, sniffing slightly as he helped her to her feet.

“Hey,” he said, smoothing her hair back. “Doll, i’s ok.”

“You can say I told you so now.” Katie grumbled into his shoulder, blinking back tears of frustration.

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” He shook his head, gently washing the remnants of the soap off her body and from her hair before she handed him the conditioner.

“I feel so stupid. Can’t even manage a shower.” She sniffed as he gently massaged it into her hair

“Honey, you had a huge operation yesterday.” Steve pressed an affectionate kiss to the top of her head as the water drummed down on them both. “You need to give yourself time.” Once they were done, Steve made sure Katie was wrapped in her robe before he stripped out of his soaking clothes and wrapped a towel around his waist. He hovered as Katie made it slowly across the room and once he was happy she was settled on the bed he grabbed himself a change of clothes and dressed before taking his seat in the chair next to the bed.

****

It was later that afternoon when the first visitors arrived, both Steve and Katie beaming as their kids walked into the room with Bucky. As they all shrugged off their jackets and various outer layers, Bucky turned to take Rori’s from her and Steve let out a snort as he spotted something on the back of Bucky’s arm. It was a yellow and black fridge magnet that sported the words ‘Wakanda Forever’ and had once been part of the traditional Christmas ale and liquor package T’Challa sent him each year.

Bucky spun to look at him and Steve handed him the magnet, smirking as Bucky shook his head, groaning.

“That’s nothing.” His eyes flicking to Rori who was perched on the bed, peering down at Flossie “I don’t know how you cope with her, Steve, she’s a fucking nightmare. Last night she made me sit through Mary Poppins whilst she sang and danced to it in front of the TV, because, apparently, she is much better than the actual actors.” Steve snorted and clapped his hand on Bucky’s shoulder.

“I tell you,” Bucky continued, “give me a base full of HYDRA operatives to take down over that Diva any day.”

Once Flossie had been cuddled and held by everyone in the room and they’d had a spot of lunch which turned up later with Jen, the kids and Bucky headed off, Harry almost having another meltdown until Steve, spotting it, crouched down in front of his youngest son and told him to be a brave boy and that he could see his momma the very next day after Day Care. Accepting this, he wiped his tears and gave his parents both a hug. And then it was Rori’s turn, tearfully asking her dad when he would be home.

“Tonight.” Katie spoke gently “Daddy will be home with you all tonight and then you can come visit tomorrow okay?” And that’s how it went. It was strange for Steve, as for the first time his baby and wife weren’t home the day after they’d been born but that simply wasn’t possible. Katie was recovering well, and the doctors had said that she should be able to head home within the week as predicted originally, but still it felt strange. That said, the Rogers house fell into a simple and easy routine. Steve and Emmy would usher them all out of bed, get them breakfast, then deposit them at either school or Day Care before Emmy would head to work and Steve would come to the hospital. Then, he’d collect the kids, bring them to see Katie for a few hours, before he took them home.

It was hard, as he wanted to be with Katie all the time, but he knew he had the others to look after too so they managed the best they could.

It didn’t escape him however, how down Katie was. She had a steady stream of visitors with Pepper and Morgan, Jen, Happy and Rhodey all popping in to meet Flossie but he could just see it in her face, she was fed up. By the fifth day she tearfully told him she was bored. So they wrapped up and went for a small walk outside, Flossie bundled in a huge, warm baby snug and clutched to Steve’s chest in the baby sling, as they slowly wandered the grounds.

It wasn’t the days she struggled with though, it was the nights when Steve left. Katie knew if she asked him to stay he would come back once he had sorted the kids out but she didn’t want the others to miss out. So instead she simply kept reminding herself that it wasn’t for much longer, a few more days and she would be free to be at home with them all.

On the Thursday evening, however, at around eight pm, not long after Steve had headed home, there was a little knock on her door and Bucky poked his head into the room. Katie smiled as she looked up from where she had been sat on the sofa reading.

“What are you doing here?”

He held up a bag which Katie recognised instantly as being from Jen’s Coffee Shop. “Jen said before you seemed a little down and you may benefit from some kind of chocolate fix. So, here I am. Winter Soldier turned Delivery Boy.”

He handed her the bag and sat down opposite her as Katie peeked inside and groaned as she saw the six large, gooey brownies looking at her.

“She was gonna come up herself but her dad’s not so good.” He said and Katie smiled.

“She was here most of the afternoon.” She shook her head “I’ll message her later, tell her thanks.” “How you doing?” Bucky asked, and when she looked at him, he smiled “And tell me honestly, I’m not Steve. You don’t gotta hide it from me.” She looked at him, her eyes brimming with tears. “I hate it Buck, I just wanna be home.” With a sigh he stood up and moved so he was sat next to her, curling his arm round her as she leaned into him. She began to cry and Bucky gently soothed her as she let all of the emotions she had been feeling over the last few days, but trying to hide, out in a torrent of tears and sobs.

“Not long now, Doll Face.” He soothed. “Steve said before you should be home Sunday at the latest.” “I know it’s just,” she sat up and wiped her eyes, “even when I go home I’ve got weeks of recovery ahead and…” “And you’ll be fine.” Bucky looked at her. “You just gotta take it easy for a while, and I know that’s easier said than done with the kids but you got a lot of support. You know that, right?” “I know.” She smiled, before she sighed. “Don’t tell Steve about this, please? He’d insist on staying and I don’t want the kids to be without him, they need him as much as I do.” “Promise.” He smiled, before he looked at the bag on the table. “Now, how about I put the kettle on and we dig into those?” Katie smiled, before she grinned “My mug is over there.” “Excellent.” Bucky stood up, moving to grab it, before he smirked and looked at her cheekily. “I finally, after all these years, get to see what you look like with your mouth wrapped around me.” “James Buchanan Barnes!” Katie gasped, shaking her head as he let out a cheeky laugh, moving to fill the kettle up. “If Steve was here to hear that he’d be ripping your other arm clean off!”

“Like to see him try.” Bucky shrugged, tossing a tea bag into each cup.

***** Of course Bucky told Steve. Not entirely, as he didn’t want to break Katie’s confidence, but he did call Steve later that night as he drove home to his and Jen’s place to let him know she was feeling a little down. Steve felt like shit, he really did. He was finding this whole thing so hard but he knew that was nothing compared to how his wife must be feeling. It was one of the hardest things he had ever had to do. It eclipsed any of the missions they’d run with the Avengers…

And then he was struck with an idea. Oh, and it was good…if he could pull it off…

Reaching for his phone, he selected the names of the people he could reach, parking the one he couldn’t for a second and tapped out a simple message.

‘Avengers, assemble’

*****

The next day, Katie could tell Steve was up to something, she always could. As they were sat watching the morning TV shows as Flossie lay against Katie’s chest, sleeping, every so often he would check his watch. But she didn’t say anything, whatever he was up to he clearly wanted it to be a surprise.

And it certainly was when ten minutes later a familiar faced poked his head through the door.

“How you doing Nova?”

“Oh my God, Clint!” She beamed up at him as he crossed the room, the huge bunch of flowers held out. He placed a kiss to her cheek as Steve stood, shaking his hand and clapping the archer on the back. “How did-“ “Well, Cap messaged and I thought I’d come meet the latest Rogers addition.”

“Latest and the last.” Katie smiled as she passed Flossie to Steve who handed him over to Clint so he could give the baby a cuddle.

“Oh she’s gorgeous!” Clint smiled. “Florence right?”

“Yeah, Flossie for short.”

“You did good, Stark.” Clint grinned and Katie smiled, her attention flying to the door as once more it opened, the entire space being taken up by the hulking frame of Banner as he stooped to step into the room.

“Hey guys.” He smiled, and Katie stood up and made her way over to him. He gave her a gentle hug before she pulled back.

“It’s so good to see you both.” She beamed.

But before she could say anything else there was suddenly a loud commotion outside the room, and a very familiar voice boomed down the corridor. Katie felt her mouth drop open as she spun to Steve.

“You…”

Steve smiled and nodded.

“Thank you for your assistance, Lady Doctor.” The voiced travelled towards them and the door opened again, the familiar face of the God of Thunder beaming around at them.

“Friends!” His eyes flashed as he stepped into the room. “It has been too long.” Katie felt her eyes misting up as Thor crossed the room towards her, his hand dropping to the side of her neck in that affectionate way it always had.

“Hey Thunder God.” She sniffed.

“Little Stark.” He smiled, his face creased with emotion. “I hear you have given birth to another.” “Yeah, she’s,” Katie smiled, nodding to where Flossie was now back in Steve’s arms, Banner examining her, “she’s beautiful.” “I expect nothing else from a Little, Little Stark.” Thor beamed as he crossed the room to examine the baby. “What name have you given to her?” “Florence Saoirse.” Katie smiled “Flossie for short.”

“Flossie. I like it!” Thor grinned as he looked down at the baby.

“You got the message then?” Steve asked, passing Flossie into Thor’s strong arms. He had to admit, the God looked well. They’d seen him a handful of times since the final battle, he was spending a lot of time off planet but each time he re-appeared he looked better. And now, well he reminded Steve of the Thor he had first met.

“Yes, Valkyrie managed to contact me.” Thor nodded, his eyes fixed on the baby in his arms. “I was in the middle of a very tense game of Quadroblin with a man on Contraxia that Rabbit had roped me into. I was very glad of the excuse to escape.” Clint, Steve, Banner and Katie exchanged a glance before they looked at Thor.

“You have never heard of Quadroblin?” Thor asked, frowning a little as he looked round the room.

“No.” Clint arched an eyebrow.

“It is a very simple game, it involves four dice and various body parts…” “Yeah, okay, we don’t need to know.” Katie cut him off as she walked over to where Steve was stood. He dropped an arm round her shoulder and kissed her head. “Can you help me sit down?” She whispered to him and he nodded.

“Of course, Honey.” He said gently. As the two of them made their way over to the sofa, Banner and Clint were talking furiously, catching up as they hadn’t seen each other for over two years since they had visited post Harry’s birth. Thor was busy, now mumbling something to Flossie and Katie recognised the look on his face as being the same one he had adopted when he had held Jamie, Rori and Harry for the first time. He was giving Flossie an ancient Asgardian Blessing. His eyes were glowing with lightning fire as he held his hand gently over her forehead, his lips moving softly.

“Hey, Thor.” Katie spoke when he had finished and he looked at her, his eyes returning to their piercing blue. “You know, there’s a vacancy for Godfather if you want it. I mean Jamie has Banner and Rhodey, Rori has Bucky and Sam, Harry has Clint, Flossie doesn’t have anyone yet.” Steve squeezed Katie’s shoulder, as he agreed with his wife’s idea. “And who better than the actual God of Thunder?” He looked up at Thor, smiling.

Thor beamed, his eyes filling with tears as he glanced down at the baby in his arms. “I would be honoured.”

“Does this mean she will be worthy?” Clint asked, flopping down onto the arm of the sofa and Thor looked at him. “To wield your hammer, I mean?”

Thor chuckled. “It doesn’t work like that. The hammer makes its own decisions and it can also change its mind.”

“It’s a hammer.” Clint deadpanned. “Made of metal. It’s an inanimate object.” “No, no, Barton, it is much more than that. It has feelings.” “Whatever man, it’s a hammer, made of metal. How can it have feelings?”

“It deems you worthy at a certain point in time so you may lift it. It could therefore deem you unworthy as well at a future point.” Thor shrugged, matter of factly.

“I still think it’s a trick.” Clint rolled his eyes and Thor snorted, looking down at Flossie.

“If it was a trick then explain why the Captain was able to not only lift it but use it to summon the lightning that day during the Final Battle?”

Everyone fell silent and looked at Steve who gave a modest shrug. “You think you could still lift it, Cap?” Bruce looked at Steve who held his hands up, snorting.

“I have no intention of trying ever again.” He winked at Katie who smiled at him, before she lay her head on his shoulder and looked around the room which was full of five of the original seven Avengers. Two of their number might not be with them any longer, but the memory of them both was very much alive, especially as the chat inevitably turned to discussions of their Avengers days, memories being recalled, tears of laughter and sadness being shared.

Eventually, it was getting a little late in the afternoon and Steve knew Bucky would be arriving with the kids and having a room full would be simply too much to cope with. Thankfully, Clint could read the signs well enough with having three kids of his own and stood up, announcing he should be going. Thor and Banner followed suit and, after some emotional goodbyes they waved their friends out, listening to Barton and Thor’s good natured bickering as they left, the room falling silent and feeling slightly empty.

“Thank you.” Katie looked up at Steve and he turned to her, smiling.

“Well it occurred to me last night that this was the hardest mission I think we’ve ever run.” He said softly, “Thought it was only right that the five of us left came together.” “I wish it were still seven.” Katie said softly, peering down at Flossie who lay in her arms.

“I know.” Steve sat next to her, curling an arm round her shoulder.

The pair of them gazed down at their daughter, smiling softly as she moved her tiny fist, pressing it against her cheek.

Steve already knew the answer to Barton’s question. As far as he was concerned she was worthy, just like the woman that gave birth to her.

**Original Posting**

[faorism]

needing the au to drop wherein i can commit to writing a historical au,, because since i first watched the db cooper job my mind went straight to OT3! OT3! OT3! (unlike with the van gogh job, since i aint playing with that fucking lieutenant)

one day maybe one dayyyyy i will sit down and i will write the ot3 into that episode's story. so, it'll be the backgrounds for the characters in the flashback (so, stephanie ritter, steve reynolds, and reggie wilkins), but with the necessary personality adjustments (parker, eliot, and hardison respectively). basically, vintage ot3 with some hot as hell aesthetics and secrets and avoiding as much as possible producing copraganda.

so. my thoughts. what i see happening. and this got super long so im throwing this under a cut. and for ease i will call them by their modern day canon names except when making a point.

first, general thoughts about the characters.

and so: steve to eliot. nothing much here on the surface. eliot still volunteers, too much an indoctrinated white man to have been forcibly drafted. so its still one man gone to war. one man come back. eliot would had been noticed early in training for his ability to pick shit up, and they teased at maybe sending him to a special unit. maybe they do, or maybe they don't because they just need to funnel fuckers to the jungle. the vietnam invasion was a terrorist imperialist venture and there's no romanticizing from me about anything done being at all valorous or special or brother-in-arms'y. and eliot commits war crimes under the american stars and stripes instead of just to keep moreau's champaign running. but also maybe moreau is eliot's superior. he certainly would have been rewarded for this ruthlessness. (eliot of course strove to impress moreau because there aint an eliot spencer who wasn't that man's dog at some point, i!!!! dont make the rules). eliot's friend died and eliot's gone off to carry out his wishes and moreau lets him because he Knows eliot is gonna come back. whether its to come back to the same squad, or follow him into deeper spy shit for the military, or to fuck off and go private. then eliot meets parker.

now. stephanie to parker. beth plays normal so well im mad at her, but there's something edgy and strategic about stephanie that i think parker can grab onto. i feel that maybe she was kind of a thief still, but there's more realism to this world so archie wasnt a super secret spy with lasers to practice with, but just a guy with sticky fingers whos a little bored and wants a protege. parker is good really good at what she does, and not having to deal with lasers makes me easy. but she's into scams that are less grifts and more Catch Me If You Can slight of hands. she's always looking for easy money (she was into lifting cars at one point! literally she follows where the crime is). she's doing something in an airport and someone tries to recruit her as a flight attendant because she's got the Look. and yall, flight attendants? that shit was like being a model and an astronaut and a time traveler back then. and according to a teacher i had, who once worked as in the f.a. union, those ladies back in the day were rad and queer and free spirited and runnnnning shit. i think, yes, it's a Job which i think we might resist placing parker into. but! of the jobs, at the time, i really see her rocking it during the time period. (also come on, the opportunities to swindle distracted people of their shit would be endless. they would just think they dropped their stuff in the airport! not that it was stolen.)

finally, reggie to alec. i think hardison will be the hardest to translate. even tho i admittedly listen to a lot of true crime podcasts, i dont know much about fbi life and also definitely don't know about it historically. part of me desperately wants to put him somewhere else even if it does have to stay within the fbi. i might cheat and make him like a Q(uartermaster) to 007/00s like in james bond, and he's like UGH this is horrible god i hate working for the fbi but they will give me funding so...... anyway, here's this totally cool [radio term]. that said, if hardison is stuck in the fbi, why he ends up there is that he is a fucking savant when it comes to research and the man can put together a presentation like no one else. that white man gets all the credit for profiling but it was hardison who goddamn was the google of the microfilm days. reggie felt super square but that might be because he had to deal with mcsweeties db cooper shit day in and day out for years. hardison is more himself. and definitely still a nerd. alec would be into dime fantasy novels and comics and ham radios and oh god he also would be into star trek like the original star trek as it came out and he would be into the zines yes! yessss. omg. also he plays a mean arcade cabinet. but he's mostly well adjusted but lonely. his colleagues dont appreciate him because fbi esp during that time were fucking wilding out and racist as hell aaaaaand im sorry im srry im trying so hard to have fbi hardison make sense but also! acab. ANYWAY.

second, the relationship

i think it would be fun to play with what it means to have parker/eliot start off first and bring in hardison afterwards. (if white collar is your thing, it would be like this canon divergent ot3 fic wherein peter burke is the last to join in.) i feel they would be Super Intense esp since they are carrying this big ass secret. kind of broken and dysfunctional and there's the passion and the commitment, but i think there's also a tenderness that's super hard for them to achieve? and i think there's a way that hardison plays such an important part in who they are and how they are. like, sure i think parker/eliot would have joy but they won't have levity. they would have compassion but they won't have gentleness.

eliot meets hardison after being recruited by nate. i think they get close because while nate and eliot have an interesting and compelling mentorship/friendship, nate is still eliots superior; sometimes its nice to complain about your boss, as hardison will say to eliot to try to make friends. i think hardison and eliot would become legit friends and not just work buddies because they are just not cut out of the same cloth as the rest of their colleagues. they grab beers after work. after hard days, hardison cajoles eliot into going to the arcade. they are friends. real real truly deep best friends, in a way hardison didn't think he could have with a fed and eliot didnt think he would have after his friend died. but also? they are like "buds" who are buds who are desperately tryna to cross any lines because there's a.... tension? an UST between them they dont know what to do with.

parker meets eliot by way of a "lets have my friend for dinner, he's a blast." and immediately immediately hardison is like... wow this woman is beautiful but like, really attracted to her personality. and parker things hardison is kinda dorky but cute dorkie? anyway, they have a puppy love situation growing. and it keeps growing until bam. eliot and parker are like. are we into alec???? fuck we are aren't we.

i think stephanie and steve would never tell reggie (even if somehow they were to be a thing). but parker and eliot? hell yeah they tell hardison. eventually. after a while. sooner than maybe they should. the tension if they should say something is one of the things that build up as UST between them for so long; parker and eliot know they are carrying this huge thing. two huge things. eliot being db cooper and also their massive crush on him.

if i could control myself to stick to a pwp, it would be another christmas. maybe the christmas nine (more?) years down the road. the damn snow grounded hardison's flight back to his nana's, and parker and eliot hear this and invite him over. the egg nog gets flowing and parker eventually is like,, fuck this. and comes onto hardison. and hardison would be like wow wow what but... idk, free love and swinging were In The Thoughts And Minds Of The People. he still checks in with eliot who is like. her body, man; i aint gonna tell her what to do. and for a sec hardison is like, man is this a cuck situation? i guess i can be for it but also...... aint mad if i aint alone. and eliot is so grateful and idk. i just want them all to be happy and having fun and no one to be left out. and yeah i am kinda brushing over a lot of the racial politics which, in a more developed fic rather than a pwp, would definitely need to be brought in; but idk that needs to just be in the bedrock of whatever plot is going into this.

it takes a lot of maneuvering of their lives but they make it work and eventually hardison is a keeper of eliot's secret too.

(apart from the historical aspect, another reason i probably won't actually write this is because i know myself. i would want to do worldbuilding. i would follow eliot and alec to their jobs, but i wouldnt want to write outright copaganda. the grit/realism i would be comfortable with would take a level of research i dont think i can commit to. but if someone wants to take this up or if you figure out a way around this issue, pls do i wont be mad)

[floralkittygambler]

RadioDust is the Healthiest Toxic Ship for Angel so far

@honesthazbinarchives​ Briefly. I’d like to go into this more in the future BUT these are the main points I said I’d do. Heh ‘stay tuned’ for why HuskerDust is toxic [haaaa funny fuckin reference n shit like Viv herself aint overdone it]. Yer dont even wanna know the lack of enthusiasm in tryna do a playful ‘cringetopia’ joke - wasnt as fun as anticipated. Anyfuckinways, the shit. Before we begin, disclaimers n whatnot, no hate intended, dni if you’re a bit of a knobhead [either stan or extreme anti], an all that nonsense. I dont own the characters no shit.  In this I’ll discuss how RadioDust aka SpiDEER (thats right, yer stuck w my shit humour now) is both the healthiest ship for Angel we’ve seen so far but still rather toxic. Idc if you hate me for it but dont fuckin waste yer time telling me. Great. I dont care. Yer fuckin hard n whatnot for harassin strangers online. Big dick energy to you. This will be slightly messy, my apologies, it’s a quick summary of many points.

Alright. Firstly, out of the entire male cast Angel interacts with over all platforms, Al is given a fair bit of mercy in terms of sexual advances. In fact, a swift ‘no’ and Angel doesn’t do it again - unlike most of the other cast [pent’s is covert, husks is overt]. One thing I like is that Angel himself admits to their chemistry (claiming that whilst he thinks Al’s a prick, he thinks Al dislikes him which saddens him as he’d at least like to be friends as he feels they have good chemistry - according to the VA via Hunicast’s 1yr anniversary), there’s no further efforts to jump on his dick but a clear curiosity/interest in what Al can do.  Lets go to the basics, both are of similar age [allegedly in their 30s, though Ive heard Al may be up to mid 40s] as well as created near the same-ISH time (as in, Viv’s oldest characters, at least for HH). Likewise, Viv admitted to knowing fuck all on either of their eras (and to make that public wasn’t really a wise choice BUUUT if you felt the need, it’s better worded with interest “Right now I’m working towards educating myself more on their time periods to improve their portrayals” <-- crucial if yer want that ‘realism’). Because of their real-world ages, Viv confesses they’re her favourites (even if you didnt know, she makes it pretty clear). It could be a nice ‘homage’ to their impact in her life but not too relevant otherwise. It could fulfil the need for self indulgence that she’s unhealthily leaking into the canon - which will ultimately make the series shit. No sugarcoating there.  As for their ages, a relationship can work whether the gap is large or small HOWEVER there are many ethics and conflicts to each. And being an adult into kids is always fucked up. With that being said, studies have shown that closer ages often work better due to the often similarities in mindset, maturity and life goals (older folks are more likely to want to settle, younger often have more ambitions), likewise there tends to be an unbalanced power-dynamic if the ages are too far, which can lead to various types of abuse. Dont get me wrong, being with someone much older (AS LONG AS NONE OF YALL ARE KIDS) very much CAN work - but rarely. There’s much more hardwork needed as well as being in the right mindset for both, otherwise it’s bad. More on that in HD. Long story short, both are closer in age meaning both are more ‘relatable’ to one another. There’s common grounds, even in the eras there’s some higher understanding of one another. Notice how Vaggie and Charlie are similar in age? (Even though Charlie is far older, her appearance and mentality for her race is on par with Vaggie’s, making it far more likely to work out positively) One of the most prominent out of all of this however is their actual interests. So listing; Both like action/chaos/having fun (often at the expense of others), both love cooking and can be food snobs in their own right, both have sadistic AND masochistic tendencies, Al likes performance and theatre whilst Angel loves *to* perform, on that last point Angel was very intrigued and enjoyed Al’s song number/performance naturally, both really enjoy pranks and both enjoy liquor (neither show an actual addiction, but rather an interest in social drinking - no dependencies on it). Again, close eras mean both have a higher probability of understanding the other and their lifestyles better. Both are high on appearance and love themselves, implying self confident mindset (healthy BUT the narcissism isnt) yet enough consideration for how they are viewed. On the parent system, one adores his mama whilst the other hates his pops.  Now Ive gone on about how they’re similar. But similarities ALONE is not enough. If it was, then fandom’s would be a lil more harmonious~ A HEALTHY relationship needs compatibility, POSITIVE conversation flow, common grounds, trust, openness and understanding. Even then, some people click and some just dont. It’s like how you can just hate someone for no reason. It just IS. Common grounds and similarity is scientifically proven to be attractive to someone - be it good or BAD. People are drawn to those like their parents in some way usually, likewise we look for people similar to ourselves (from our interests, to humour, beliefs, goals, etc). Science itself states that ‘opposites attract’ solemnly applies in the real world successfully. Though similiarity plays a large role, there has to be some differences too - that person is STILL an individual separate to yourself. Too similar and it’s boring. Too similar and you’ll do everything together without some ‘you’ time. Both Vaggie and Charlie have similar interests/hobbies in dance and music, yet still have enough differences to be identifiable when together. Vaggie is more grounded than Charlie. Charlie gives some optimism and fun to Vaggie. Remember, a partner does NOT complete you - that’s a toxic mindset when taken too seriously, You complete YOURSELF. Whether you have someone or not, you must feel complete in yourself as to not slip into toxic dependency on a lover - to become them, a shadow of them or feel like you’ve lost your identity without them. Sounds harsh but it’s true. Chaggie compliments each other without a dependency. You stand alone yet uplift one another. You don’t always agree but in the end you always have each other’s backs. Love is often butchered in a toxic light in the media.  So taking that into consideration, how does spideer work? Well, here’s some examples of good, bad and neutral: - Angel loves animals, Al fears/dislikes dogs. Perhaps Angel could assist him in overcoming this? - Al hates being touched, Angel dislikes being squeezed. Maybe this could help them reach an understanding... Or cause a rift? - Angel was the only one to break Al’s composure, either Angel is the *key* to delving further into Al’s more raw self... Or just another obVOXious pest? (yeah, I said it-) - Neither respect other’s boundaries, meaning both may fuel the other to be overly disrespectful in this area. Not good. - Angel is a sarky/sarcastic fuck, Al loves dry humour. Both seek amusement and chaos. In relationships one needs to see how conversation flows and in the hunicasts, both keep up some good as well as toxic banter. Both could roast the fuck out of an opponent however. - Al is acro/ace, Angel is hypersexual (appears like a sex addict - now I say this as his book has a crossed out ‘fun stuff’ with ‘work shit’ written on it. He’s always fixed on sex from his job to his humour), this could either aid Angel ease up on the sex stuff OR make him overly push it onto Al causing major rifts and discomfort (aces can have sex, ref to ace posts that real asexuals put to understand more but no one wants to be forced into sex is the point here). And we’ve already discussed their lack of respect for boundaries. The positive is that maybe this will make Angel understand how Val is rubbing off on his own behaviour towards men [again, more on that in the HD post]. - Both similar yet different in a way that does suit their compatibility chances but that doesnt mean they will click, it just improves the odds. - Both have similar enemies in Val and Vox, they’re on common terms. Likewise, Al is against the ‘sexual deviance’ of hell meaning he may be oddly supportive and protective of Angel in terms of Val. I dont even think his sadism will override this either. - Al dislikes modern tech, Angel seems to use it as his job requires it. A nice little menial difference. - Only ONE is an addict. Take it from an expert, you NEVER put two addicts together. They’re very vulnerable and prone to slipping deeper into their addictions as well as depending on each other too much that they essentially become very clingy, suffocating and toxic to each other. Seen it in action, it’s ugly.  - Both could have a lot of fun and calm moments with each other. - He isn’t immediately smitten with Al but immediately shows a natural interest in Al’s powers and performance, embracing it openly. Leads for a good friendship turned lovers plot. - In Viv’s patreon, she confirmed Angel loves confident guys [sounds exactly like Al] We need to think about where both are mentally. What benefits would a relationship give both? How would they be good and bad for each other? For Al, aside from his outdated views and being a fucking murderer and narcissist, he actually seems in a good mindspace for a relationship IF he opted to be in one. Angel however has a very immature mindset, likewise is in a phase of life where hes bed hopping. IF he were to be in a relationship, I’d say he needs a male equivalent of Cherri - someone with a similar mindset yet some differences, willing to have fun and in touch with their younger side, down to cuddle, open to share and receive love as well as not afraid to publicly be affectionate with him, someone who sees him as more than just for sex, someone fun, someone who’ll let him embrace his cutesy side publicly without shame - Cherri is younger so maybe someone who’s his age or slightly younger perhaps? I think Angel’s not retirement home ready to settle and needs someone on his level that can cuddle and chill as well as feels free and youthful enough to go wild with him. In one sense, he’s got a teen girl sorta mindset (dont put him with a teen though, it’s fuckin weird-). He needs someone positive and raw, someone to let him be himself as well as someone comfortable to be themselves around him. He has a habit of latching onto unobtainable men (in psychology, this is self sabotaging subconsciously): Travis the client, Val a pimp, Husk (emotionally unavailable and needs HEAVY self work - interestingly far more than Angel - plus he’s still onto his last relationship and an addict to gambling and alcohol), Pent who’s the enemy he was currently fighting (inappropriate timing), Alastor who’s not interested in another but his own needs [selfish, VERY bad for a relationship]. Subconsciously he’s self sabotaging on purpose. There’s many psychology books as well as sources online for this, if you’re interested. Either way, Angel is drawn to men either like his father [who dislike him, shun him, or are otherwise cold, abusive or just blatantly dislike or otherwise dont care about him] or anyone with money to fuel his drug addiction/’debt’ to Val. Going with any of these men isn’t a good idea.  Preferably, Angel needs someone who he doesnt immediately crush and obsess over. Someone who he doesnt sexually harass or assault. Someone he can build a connection with quickly that can bud into romance (think how Chaggie started as a friendship which clicked immediately). Maybe even someone he doesn’t expect to fall for but does so anyways. It would be more realistic as Viv wants as well as more healthy. That for once he isnt sex or money craved instantly, thus doesnt sexually harass/assault and is given a proper chance to develop and grow a friendship and love. Someone who isnt an addict.  Someone with an on-par mindset where they click. Someone open to love. For any chance of a good relationship, Angel needs to be with anyone BUT who we’ve already seen. There’s too much toxicity that’ll be swept under the rug and justified otherwise. Too much shit to fuel homophobes in terms of gay stereotypes. Even though Ive focused a fair bit on Angel, it’s NOT just about Angel. That’s something fans forget. Some he depends on or someone who depends on him in the long term wont last and will be very dangerous to both.  Just because you suffer, you dont then deserve to be rewarded with ‘something nice’. You dont get to have everything youve ever wanted. Giving him any of these blokes [minus Val] gives him a pass. Gives him what he wants. I get Viv loves him but life doesnt work that way. True lasting growth comes from learning that. Acceptance and growth. You dont get everything you want and sometimes thats a GOOD thing. He’s not a spoilt kid who gets everything he asks for, he’s YOUR creation. If you really wanted what your creations deserve then you need to research and be realistic with it. Because hes starting to feel like a shitty Gary-Stu at this rate. I live with an ‘Angel Dust’ like person. It used to feel like life gave her everything and most times it did. Everyone loved her and she could get away with murder if she wanted to. But now she’s had to struggle and grow, let go of some ‘wants’ because they werent good for her and she’s becoming better for it. She has a long way but she’s more humble for it now [still got self confidence but it’s less narcissism now, which is more healthy for her]. Also, they make the word anal lol

[trollartistry]

Haaay! So umm... I'm still kinda new to your content here. Two questions: One-- If you were to perfectly describe your Nemi character using ten words, what would they be? If not ten, then six is fine! Two-- what kind of a boyfriend is he to Glamrock Freddy? Ex: Dominant, submissive, varies on situation, distant, super affectionate, the daredevil of the two? I already have an idea on that but I want to get your dynamic with him RIGHT! I want to write a little story about you both (I'll reveal myself later) but I want to be sure you'd be in character!! > < I can understand the awkwardness of mis-writing your own OC and you're sitting there like: "what? I wouldn't do that."

FIRST OF ALL ASDFG THANK YOU FOR WANTING TO WRITE ME SOMETHING YOU’RE TOO NICE ;0;

Second of all, sure lemme write some stuff up!! I’ll do some words along with a basic description. This is all under a read more just in case this gets big asdfg-

Words describing Nemi [both positive +/negative -]: +Outgoing, +Creative, +Honest, +Caring, +Respectful, -Stubborn, -Blunt, -Cowardly, -Guarded, -Quick-Tempered

More detailed description: Nemi’s a really sweet dude who likes to make new friends and likes to doodle while on the job. He’s respectful of other people and his job so he does try to do his work without getting too distracted. He’s quick to help those in need! He also tries to be a tough guy but he’s secretly super soft, dont show him kitten videos he will cry. ..On the flipside though, its hard for him to get him to actually open up. Shits happened to him and he tends to keep it all secret to protect himself, and he is a bit of a coward when hes faced with something dangerous or scary so I can see him scream like a b*tch while protecting Gregory ansfgkt- He’s unfortunately quick-tempered too and aint afraid to speak his mind- someone’s being stupid? It’s gonna piss him off and he’s gonna tell them they’re stupid.

His relationship with GlamFreddy: At first its all admiration because the bot reminds Nemi a lot of the classic Freddy he remembers as a child, not to mention he loves the 80′s glamrock theme of the bear. And then it gets complicated, with Nemi crushing on GlamFreddy but being so guarded he’s refusing himself that possible happiness because he truely believes theres no way GlamFreddy would love him. He still ends up going head over heels to make sure the bear’s happy as can be and has everything he could ever want. Once they’re together though, there’s PDA out the ass with these two asdfg- Nemi calls him his ‘teddybear’ and likes to stay by Freddy’s side. Freddy likes to use all sorts of pet names but ‘pumpkin’ and ‘honey’ are the two that makes Nemi turn to butter practically. Nemi’s practically wrapped around Freddy’s finger and vice versa for Freddy. In terms of “dominant/submissive”, LMAO good question. I like to think Nemi tries to be the more dominant one but all Freddy really has to do is call him by a petname or give him some affection and that “dominance” deflates out of Nemi like a damn balloon.

I hope this helps and if you have anymore questions lemme know!!