#on a thing I DIDN'T BUY
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#ive been stressing all day about a purchase i'm not even making lol#i have mental problems sjfmsjg#no but for real i was reviewing the tablet i had decided on to buy in the distant future#and found out it's actually not very good for drawing which is the sole reason i want to get a tablet#and i got physical symptoms of anxiety and dread as if i had wasted money#on a thing I DIDN'T BUY#but then i found another tablet which is good for drawing and it's a bit more expensive#and once again i got the anxiety levels of someone being hunted for sport#for another product I DIDN'T BUY#but it's just this horrible timing thing that's making me anxious#because it's a lot of money that i have to spend on this#and I don't have a regular income#and my country's economy is hell to the point that by tomorrow the price could double without warning#and there's also there's some sales coming so maybe i should wait til then#but then also i have to catch the sale and the product i want#and also the holidays are coming so the price might spike up#and i never know when the correct time to buy anything is!!#and this folks is why I don't gamble lol#no but for real... i have been panicking all day and I don't even have a proper reason#i could also live without the tablet very well so it feels like a waste of money in general#so...#i have issues with spending money...#especially because I don't know when it's gonna be the next time i get work#could be next week... could be in six months... could be never again...#if i just could get hired for a proper project woth a decent pay...#ahhh the dream :')#ok i'm gonna go to bed now (if my stupid ear '''''infection'''''' lets me...)#life is hell but at least i got to boop people today <3#angel talks#personal
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since Eng is getting 7.5 soon(?), I felt motivated to go back to my Meleanor rig and make her a couple of lesson animations! ...except for alchemy, because the cauldron bubbles proved too hard to photoshop around, whoops.
maybe she just got lost on her way to the classroom...?
(credit: backgrounds are from the game, I just put her on top of 'em)
(aside from the backgrounds, this is not an edit, I drew her from scratch! please do not tag or treat as an edit!)
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 5 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 5 spoilers#gif warning#gifs that will inexplicably never get a perfect no matter how many cupcakes you use warning#let's just say she hasn't been added to the alchemy schedule yet#AS PER USUAL#(sam sneaks in at night and messes with the schedule so we have to buy candy from him instead)#(i promise i will stop spamposting eventually) (they gotta stop giving me characters to obsess over first)#anyway in my continuing efforts to manifest a meleanor card into existence#it's time to remember i made this a million years ago#just blow off some of the dust and cobwebs that have accumulated here...#'i'm only gonna add a couple of things i won't do too much'#(spends ten minutes trying to decide what color goggles she should have)#(flipping back and forth between green and purple) it's no use she looks good in everything#spineposting#(not me stealth editing because i didn't realize the wrong arm attachment had somehow popped in whoops)
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you're in the habit of denying yourself things.
if someone asked you directly, you would say that you love a little treat. you like iced coffee and getting the cookie. you drink juice out of a fancy cup sometimes, and often do use your candles until they gutter out helplessly.
but you hesitate about buying the 20 dollar hand mixer because, like. you could just use your arms. you weren't raised rich. you don't get to just spend the 20 dollars (remember when that could cover lunch?), at least - you don't spend that without agonizing over it first, trying to figure out the cost-benefits like you are defending yourself in front of a jury. yes, this rice cooker could seriously help you. but you do know how to make stovetop rice and it really isn't that hard. how many pies or brownies would you actually make, in order to make that hand mixer worthwhile?
what's wild is that if the money was for a friend, it would already be spent. you'd fork over 40 without blinking an eye, just to make them happy. the difference is that it's for you, so you need to justify it.
and it sneaks in. you ration yourself without meaning to - you don't finish the pint of ice cream, even though you want to. the next time you go to the store, you say ah, i really shouldn't, and then you walk away. you save little bits of your precious things - just in case. sometimes you even go so far as putting that one thing in your shopping cart. and then just leaving it there, because maybe-one-day, but not right now, there's other stuff going on.
you do self-care, of course. but you don't do it more than like, 3 days in a row. after that it just feels a little bit over-the-edge. like. you can't live in decadence, the economy is so bad right now, kid.
so you don't buy the rice cooker. you can-and-will spend the time over the stove. you can withstand the little sorrows. denial and discipline are practically synonyms. and you're not spoiled.
it's just - it's not always a rice cooker. sometimes it is a person or a job or a hug. sometimes it is asking for help. sometimes it is the summer and your college degree. sometimes it is looking down at scabbed knees and feeling a strange kind of falling, like you can't even recognize the girl you used to be. sometimes it is your handprint looking unsteady.
sometimes it is tuesday, and you didn't get fired, and you want to celebrate. but what is it you like, even? you search around your little heart and come up empty. you're so used to denying that all your desires draw a blank.
oh fuck. see, this is the perfect opportunity. if you had a mixer, you'd make a cake.
#warm up#this isn't good#writeblr#this is complicated by the fact i can't stand up too long or i fuckken pass out and <3 hit my damn head <3#but i did take a deep breath and buy myself the stupid rice cooker#and!!! a very cheap sushi kit!!! i have been wanting to try making sushi for literally YEARS#the kit was only like 15 dollars!!!! and i haven't purchased it bc?!!??!?!?!?!!?#..... i didn't get the mixer tho that felt. like a lot. like too much.#on my list is a kitchenaid. one day when i get a check and i have paid off my student debt#and medical debt#i will put that first little bit of cash#into a kitchenaid 5qt stand mixer (with attachments)#i really do just go into their refurbished section and stare lustily at each option#but yeah i feel guilty about the rice cooker even tho i know for a fact this damn thing is gonna be a lifesaver#oh shit also fuck i forgot to mention . poached eggs
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Was thinking of my post about dream teams and got really invested in whatever Unrequited Hate has going on
#trafficblr#life series#tangotek#smallishbeans#inthelittlewood#smajor1995#wild life smp#limited life smp#secret life smp#only tagging those three because they're the ones I referenced in particular while making this#see tango and joel started building a funny dynamic and then suddenly I'm super attached to a team that does not exist#tango has been the biggest annoyance to joel and joel (just like the rest of the server) WANTS HIM GONE.#scott and joel shouldn't have to be said there's someghjng so funny about joel praying in scott's downfall and then scott just dgaf#martyn and tango are silly cause tango is so distrusting if him and martyn fully embraces his untrustworthiness so it's like.#like a cat hissing at something that no one else finds suspicious#mean gills are...mean gills. they say they're divorced and all that but i don't buy it.#didn't know how to describe joel and martyn's dynamic other than that one line in limited life so i used those#and then tango and scott are silly cause they're so chill with each other. scott startles tango wuth his creeper disguise#and he just laughs and goes “you're the ultimate troll!” like! they are friends surely :)#oh and they're all shipped with jimmy solidarity too that is a thing#i love this non existent team dynamic sm they need ti be real please please PLEASEEEEEEEEE
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Just deleted the ask I was trying to respond to, but re: "skeptics always die in horror movies" - I have mixed feelings on that trope!
On the one hand I think it sets the tone and helps the audience suspend their disbelief - people are always complaining about horror movie characters being idiots, so this can be a way to be like "see? We DID consider rational explanations, and then someone immediately got murdered very supernaturally, so stop asking questions and accept the premise."
On the other hand, I think it definitely contributes to the idea that skeptics are close-minded killjoys who are too stubborn to accept reality, which is a very common and incredibly annoying mindset. Shane Madej did not spend the last eight years marching into haunted houses and loudly demanding that the demons inside kill him for me to still be hearing shit about how "if you don't take the supernatural seriously you will Attract Evil Energies And Die".
#i also can't stand the 'you're acting like a white person in a horror movie!' thing. bestie that was a movie😔it was fictional😔#there's that one really long twitter post by a white lady detailing how she almost bought a haunted house#and listing all the spooky details she didn't even notice until her husband was like 'we are not buying the haunted house'#then bitch move over!!! SOME of us can appreciate having weird creepy heavily-locked doors in our basement#or at the very least we'd open the door. the fact that every archaeologist in the world isn't dead is a good sign demon curses aren't real#skepticism umbrella
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PAGLUIB
way back in like. march?? I took a stab at writing some kind of kabitserye type of story but it was a mess: it kept veering off into murder mystery drama territory because I was reading a lot of murder mystery novels around then and it Wasn't Good because I hadn't tried writing mysteries, let alone murder mysteries, before lmao
I did write a handful of short mystery stories since then, so next year I might take a stab at this idea again now that I'm no longer jumping head first into a genre pool I don't know how to swim in :)
#now for the part where i have to fight off the impulse to write in some b movie horror elements because ive been thinking about#reanimator a lot lately. ehghghh. thank god for the editing process. to wrangle my thoughts into a linear state of creating#anyway i read an article. interview? on the popularity of infidelity dramas in the philippines and it was poetry to me#and i also enjoy the really intense social melodrama in lino brocka's films. specifically the appearance of morality to cover up/justify#ugly behavior. or like. man i'm tired. whatever was going on in murder by tsismis. that's the thing. someday i'll get more into it#and post excerpts from the actual analysis of the film that actually explains the dynamic im talking around here#komiks tag#original tag#also there's some. vague lingering thought about ikaw lamang in here. not in a way that matters#but in a 'the first episode that i saw was not the first episode of the drama itself and it made me go. oh everyone has rotten vibes'#which is not. well. if you saw ikaw lamang then you know the characters. this is not the takeaway from the show. HOWEVER#i did invent a whole different show in my head between that and when the next episode aired. so.#fake ikaw lamang. ikaw lamang if it wasn't even remotely like ikaw lamang. on the topic of ikaw lamang here's a cringe story for you#still following along. BEFORE i had watched the show. i saw a notebook with franco on it but i didn't recognize the character#i just saw jake in a suit and went oh! cool! i will now Buy This!#anyway i still have the notebook lmao
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#--/ art#--/ story#ava the dark lord#⬇⬇⬇ context in the tags ⬇⬇⬇#alan becker#animator vs animation#animation vs minecraft#ava the chosen one#it is done !! ok ill give y'all the intro context synopsis now#the story goes that way way way way before Showdown cho and dark used to sneak into abandoned-looking buildings in the city at night#and one such target they stumble upon happens to be a storage room containing artifacts from Minecraft#the most interesting being the beds.#on this particular outing cho and dark were returning from other shenanigans and could use a place to rest. perfect!#dark belly-flops onto the right bed (scooting them out of alignment) and strikes a pose.#while chosen is shoving them back together again... oh. he's already asleep? ...???#!!! the beds draw you in if you get too close!#so what was supposed to be half an hour at most rest turned into the whole night. they skedaddled and forgot about the freaky beds.#until. a certain someone goes and dies :333#you get it now ! ! !#it was dark diesn't ALL ALONG-#yeah and then for extra spice i threw in that the hooded stick King meets with during his episode to buy a command block...#...happens to own that storage room.#thus and so begins more brand new shenanigans with dark interacting with this shady rando. i call em seafoam#i highly extremely doubt there's a tag for seafoam . . . wiki calls them only 'hooded stick figure'#anyhow. behind the scenes this was also a practice of drawing things in 3D... keeping on model... and composition for storytelling#and i learned some things about how Whiteboard works too :o i. didn't know about the fill tool. it is cool#yayaya!! so that's been in my head for a while.#thx for reading <3 <3 ill be posting some close-up shots of this and other things i put on the whiteboard later#Minecraft bed
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❝Let's go talk somewhere else.❞
FIRST KANAPHAN as KANT PATTANAWAT and KHAOTUNG THANAWAT as BISON episode 4 of THE HEART KILLERS
#the heart killers#the heart killers the series#first kanaphan#khaotung thanawat#firstkhao#firstkhaotung#kantbison#gmmtv series#gmmtv bl#thai bl#mlm#thkedit#th: the heart killers#bibi gifs#i want to talk about this scene and i barely make any sense but still#bison went to kant's place with an agenda. he wanted to seek him out to call him out on the things he was hiding from him#and make him questions that he's already suspicious of the answers#but the moment he sees babe's bruises he drops his own issues to go on babe side quest (that i really liked)#maybe he was deflecting and just buying himself time to avoid continuing the kant conversation? not likely bc again he's on a mission but o#but he took a glimpse at some purple's in this kid's body that he doesn't even know well and went on you know what there are more important#matters for us to attend to let's put a pin on this#i'm not team babe is gonna die but i do think that if anything were to happen to him neither kant or bison would allow that#as in they would actively put themselves in harms way to prevent it from happening (and i'm aware it's wishful thinking and speculative but#even if bison didn't do that there's no way kant would stay with him knowing that he'd cause babe harm indirectly or otherwise#i'm also just a sucker for person a get hurt in front of person b type of dynamic)#they are morally grey characters who do morally grey things to have a positive-ish outcome (or so they think)
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What is dl owo
DLsite, the godsend magical place for all kinds of manga and audio-works! its where i go mostly to get my yandere/porn fix lol
I buy DLsite points now (here)! or you should be able to find the page to buy points in My page > Purchase Points > DL Pay. it works kind of weird in that you sort of send yourself an invoice to buy the points, and you'll get a serial code which you can input to get your points in your page!
#ask#anon#hope that helps!#legit didn't buy anything from dlsite for 4 months because i didnt know you could just buy points lol#maybe it was a good thing actually#collecting drama cds is not a cheap hobby lol
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also I got an old whale oil sewing machine oil bottle from a guy at the market for a couple pounds
#thoughts#craxy i was just buying regular sewing machine oil the other day. I didn't know that this used to be a thing#but i guess it makes sense they used this stuff for everything
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a classmate of mine drove me to a field trip in a carpool earlier today and she stopped to get hot chocolate and offered to buy me one since I didn't have my wallet on me. fully almost burst into tears in broad daylight because a casual acquaintance bought me a $1.50 convenience store beverage.
#as a poor friend who is usually among poor friends I am used to and totally get not being able to spot or gift people things. That's Fine.#but also oh man I think that was the first time in over four years that I've had a hot drink that I didn't make or buy myself#marina marvels at life
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#im not okay nor will i ever be!#he waited for bruce#he kept trying to talk#to buy time#but eventually he ran out of things to say#and he realized that bruce wasn't coming#he was replaced and abandoned#bruce seeing this film#seeing his jason tortured and marked#thinking he died#(and yet he still didn't want to kill joker? mm okay unrealistic)#“even after everything you've done i would’ve saved you” - arkham city batman to joker sincerely SHUT THE FUCK UP AINT NO WAY!!! BFFR#jason todd#bruce wayne#batman#red hood#arkham knight#the arkham knight#batman: the arkham knight#videogames#dcu#my gifs#ranting in tags#AS USUAL
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#les mierables#the chronicles of narnia#narnia#jean valjean#edmund pevensie#bread#turkish delight#I'd do some immoral things for really good bread#we really wanted to try turkish delight when we were little but couldn't find anywhere to buy it#we finally found some rose water and decided to make it ourselves#we thought we'd messed it up because it was so bad#I didn't realize turkish delight is just terrible#although I've heard they make other fruit flavors and I'd like to give those a try#the rose water ones tasted like old lady perfume gummies#truly awful#edmund sold out his family for that?#he could have just asked for some good cheese#food lore
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;
#my sewing machine is making a weird clicking noise and idk how to fix it 🫠#it clicks when sewing forwards at slow to normal speed & gets louder when sewing backwards#the weird thing is the clicking goes away when sewing forwards at the highest speed#i keep thinking it's the feed dogs or the bobbin case but i've taken multiple looks in there & cleaned & it didn't help at all 😭#thinking of finding a place that can assess/repair it this weekend but. sigh. this is a cheap old machine that's not rly worth repairing...#but if i buy a new machine i'd have to learn how to troubleshoot it all over again
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OH MY FUCKING GOD
I JUST WENT TO MY LOCAL HOT TOPIC THAT I'VE BEEN GOING TO FOR LIKE. 5 OR 6 YEARS NOW RIGHT??
I GOT SOME MCR STUFF BECAUSE. OF COURSE. IF YOU'VE SEEN MY RECENT POSTING HABITS YOU KNOW. THE BRAINROT IS REAL
I WAS TALKING WITH THE CASHIER ABOUT THEM BECAUSE HE WAS ALSO A FAN AND HE FUCKING SAYS "you wanna know a fun fact? this is the hot topic the lead singer used to work at! :D"
FUCKING WHAT
GERARD WAY USED TO WORK AT MY LOCAL FUCKING HOT TOPIC?!?
AND AFTER I LEFT I LOOKED IT UP TO MAKE SURE HE WASN'T FUCKING WITH ME AND YEAH. HE WAS RIGHT. WHAT THE FUCK
SORRY FOR THE ALL CAPS THIS IS LIKE. WORLD-SHATTERING INFORMATION TO ME AND HE JUST DROPPED THAT SHIT SO CASUALLY WHAT THE HELL BRO. I NEEDED TO SCREAM ABOUT THIS SOMEWHERE
#rys.txt#tw caps#caps#LIKE. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??#I KNEW THEY WORKED AT A HOT TOPIC WHEN THEY WERE YOUNGER BUT I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS THAT ONE#ok. its ok i'm normal now (i'm not)#on another note. why are all hot topic employees like the nicest people on this earth. at least they are at mine#they always greet you when you walk in and ask if you need help and if you don't they leave you alone which is nice#and then when you check out they're always really chill and don't rush you and if you're buying or wearing something they also like they'll#talk about it with you#like. i know you have to be nice to people for a retail/customer service job like that but it always feels really genuine from them#same thing goes for spencer's employees too they're also like that#idk its just really nice for someone like me who's scared shitless of social interaction with strangers. it makes me way less anxious 👍#anyways. light and love everyone 💖 i'm gonna go recover from learning that information now#my chemical romance#mcr#gerard way
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first world problem to end all first world problems i've got a brand new phone (because my old one will kill itself if i dare update it so it's on ios 15.1 and half of my apps no longer work) but the idea of setting it up is so daunting it's been like a week and i'm still using the old one. i think phil would appreciate this issue i'm having, he would understand
#the way i didn't want to buy it cause i was like no i have more dan and phil things to spend my money on#but no this really can't go on any longer nothing works#how do some people get a new phone every year that sounds horrible#i mean i guess they just transfer everything from the old one but then lowkey whats the point in getting a new phone#wait omg i just realised i'll finally be able to see emojis again....#i don't see shit these days everyone's using new ones and i'm like ok epic square you've got there
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