#omw to reread the books
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I’ve been moving house. Sorry 😂 plus a good case of art block 🥺
#lockwood and co#sorry I died#sketches#lockwood and co art#fan art#anthony lockwood#lucy carlyle#I forgot how to draw#omw to reread the books
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just came out of theraprism they diagnosed me w BPD (bill personality disorder)
#the book of bill#tbob spoilers#.dizzy.exe#.intermission: [J]#alright omw to rewatch the show and reread journal 3 i need to do the Big Thinking#but honest to god BPD BILL FOR THE WIN theres no need to elaborate
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Omw to reread atyd and stop at the end of book two
#hp#marauders fandom#marauders era#marauders#harry potter#atyd#all the young dudes#atyd marauders#atyd fandom#remus lupin#sirius black#James potter#peter pettigrew#wolfstar#moony wormtail padfoot and prongs#padfoot#prongs#wormtail#moony
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Light Shower. (Sal Fisher x Fem!Reader)
part 1
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"you are the light I've been searching for forever."
-
at 4:11 a.m., I sat on my bed. the warm, early summer breeze blew in through my window. I had a dollar bill rolled up in one hand and a bag of pills in the other. I dumped one out, placing it gently onto my old math book. I crushed it up, being as quiet as possible not to wake up my parents. I formed the line with my id and snorted it with one quick motion. I tilted my head back and placed my finger over my nostril, sniffing the excess up. it felt like i had just got flipped upside down to give my brain a refresh. I felt the drugs start to kick in. I put the back back in the little rip in my pillow and took out my flip phone to text Larry and Sal.
"yoooooooooooo." I sent the group chat, I felt my body relax as it usually does after a long day and some coke. I knew I was an addict. but I was holding on by a string. Having a boyfriend that hits you constantly and forces you to fuck and having parents that are constantly fighting and should've broken up ages ago dont mix well.
6 months ago, my friend brought a small packet of coccaine to school, and it flipped my life upside down. I was addicted and ended up buying and selling my own. I was a goody two shoes, always had good grades, and would have a panic attack over a C or a B. but that completely changed.
My other friends boyfriend got my number and started hitting on me. he would tell me he only wanted me and not my friend. I gave in and helped him cheat on her. we met every day at the science hall to make out. he broke up with her, and we started dating a month later. he always begged to have sex with me, even after me telling him I wasn't ready. the first time I went over to his house for dinner, he raped me in his bed. and he hasn't stopped since. I've tried to break up with him multiple times, but he said he'd kill himself so I just gave up. I gave up trying to stop him. he began hitting me after the first time I tried to break up with him. there hasn't been a day since when I didn't have any bruises on my arms, legs, or torso.
"y r u up?" Larry texted back.
"the usual reason" I rolled onto my stomach. "u?"
"set my alarm wayyy to early 2day."
"damn. meet @ the treehouse?"
"omw"
"me 2?" sal finally responded.
"of course sally" I replied.
I slipped my converse on slipped out the door. me and sal met at the elevator. he lived in 402 while I lived in 404. we spent most of our free time together. sometimes with Larry, but you two also hung out alone. you guys found it comforting sitting on the roof of the apartments talking about the past and the future. Sal was your childhood best friend, until you had to move to new jersey and leave him behind. but your luck shone like a star the second you found out Sal was moving in right down the hall from you. your reunion was amazing, like rereading your favorite book and noticing all of the smaller details or like going on an intense roller coaster. I love him with all of my heart, and I knew he did too. he expressed it very frequently. Sal knew everything about my life down to the smallest details. yes, he knew about my boyfriend. and yes, he knew about my addiction. he knew more than anyone has ever known, and he just moved back 3 days ago. you two stayed in contact after you moved, going from writing letters once a week to staying up all night texting eachother. Sal was unlike any person you had ever known, and you loved him for that. I thought back to one of my favorite memories with him.
-
flashback:
I pushed sally on the swing while his dad and my mom spoke.
"I think sal likes her." Henry smiled. "ever since they met, she's all he talks about."
my mom giggled. "Y/n aswell." she nudged Henry. "soulmates?" she asked.
"sure seems like it. she helped sal a lot, you know, meeting her when they were sharing a hospital room is no coincidence."
"nothings a coincidence." mom grinned. "when sal was put into the room, the first thing she said was 'poor boy, mommy! he can't die, his hair is too cool.' y/n cared so much about everyone else she didn't realize how close she was to death, too."
"do you remember them playing cards in the middle of the floor?"
mom pulled a Polaroid out of her wallet. "I remember every day."
Henry gently rubbed her back.
"Hey, sal?" I asked as he slid the key card for the basement into the slot.
"yeah?" his voice has a slight rasp, as he had just woke up 10 minutes ago.
"do you remember our week together at the hospital?"
"how could I forget?"
-
"what's your name?" 3 year old me asked the bluenette in the hospital bed across from me.
he gently sat down his juice. "sal, what's yours?" the one eye showing squinted, so I assumed he was smiling.
"Y/n!" I responded cheerfully. I glanced down at my tray. "want my jello? I'm not hungry."
he silently nodded. I brought the jello over and gave it to him. I jumped and sat with him in his bed. "so, sal. I'm bored."
"me too." he exhaled, forcing a small bite through his bandages.
"I have an idea!" I dug through my pocket and pulled out a thing of light pink nail polish. "we can paint eachothers nails!"
"isn't that a girls thing?"
"that doesn't matter, silly!" you scooted closer to him. "do you want yours done first?"
he nodded and gave me his left hand. I gently brushed on the polish. he looked at the bruises and deep cuts on my arms and face. "what happened?" he asked.
"a strange man hit me with his car. he broke my leg too. I had to wobble over here." I giggled. I pointed down at my leg. "why are you here?"
"I got attacked by a doggie. the doggie killed my mommy." tears filled his only visible eye. I finished his pinky nail and pulled the blue boy in for a tight hug.
-
"yo, Y/n! you must be on some hard-core shit, I can see it on your face!" Larry laughed a little too loud.
"shut the fuck up, lanky bitch." I threw a pebble off the floor at him.
"you're on something?" sal questioned me.
"it was a long day." I giggled lightly, throwing another pebble at Larry after he threw the other one back. I flipped him off and leaned my head back on the bean bag, realizing the sun was just starting to rise.
"Shawn came over today." Larry didn't know he was abusive, all he knew was that he was a massive, super mega piece of shit. Larry and Sal groaned collectively, which made you laugh. "I know, right?"
"why don't you just dump him?" Larry sighed.
sal and I glared at eachother. we both knew it was because he would hurt me or someone else. bad. I shrugged. "I love him." I didn't.
-
this fanfiction is inspired by Light Shower by Melanie Martinez. I DO NOT OWN THE SONG!
#sal fisher#sal fisher x y/n#sal fisher x reader#sally face#light shower#melanie martinez#larry johnson#ash campbell#tw drugs#friends to lovers#fanfic#fanfiction
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ARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!! HIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM JUST HERE TO REMIND YOU THAT I LOVE YOUUU!!!!!!!!! A LOT A LOT A LOTTT!!!!!!!!!! I HOPE YOU ARE DOING SOOOOOOOOOOOOSOOO GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE TELL ME ABOUT YOUR DAYY I WANNA KNOW WHAT YOU'RE UP TOOO!!!!!!!!!! have u been smiling? have u been laughing? have you been having fun? any new books? new shows? tell me tell me tell meeeeeee:33333 - @teddybeartoji
MICKEYYYY MY MICKEY 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹 i’m squeezing you sooooo tightly rn i hope you can feel it through the hivemind…… i’m latching onto you like a mouse with a block of cheese………
SNIFFLEEEE I LOVE YOU 😔😔😔 i love you more than i love sugu even….. bold words but they need to be said. I HAD A PRETTY NICE DAY i’ve just been travelling…. i’m omw to my grandma’s house 🫡 to recover from uni stress 🫡🫡 and write merguru 🫡🫡🫡 i’m very excited……. no new books sadly THOUGH I HOPE TO READ A COUPLE WHILE I’M THERE :’3 i did reread one of my fav plays tho…. a doll’s house by ibsen <333 it’s super good hehe!!
WHAT ABT YOUUUU MY MICKEY???? how’s your day been?????? any nice shrimpmin moments? new movies?? general mickey shenanigans??? :333
#MWAHHHHH kisses you on the lips#ily <3#thank you for checking in my beloved!!!!!!!!#wishing you nothing but the softest rays of sunlight today#ask tag ✩#mickey !! ✩
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The End Is Near Updates??? (Let's fucking go, I guess???)
ALRIGHT WELL
All of my plans to get shit done before school starts continue to swirl the drain as I am full immersed in this rewrite.
I have decided to use headers and make this a single work because honestly I did not want to keep it a series so I figured it out
Also I'm at the end of book one. And SOBBING. I forgot Clyde and Kenny get married in the first round. This was literally the first fic I ever wrote them in like I'm screaming. This fic was my rare pair origin story lowk LMFAOOO like between them and butters/bebe like ugh.
My first book one was like just under 18k and I am currently slowly omw to 22k, like I am right there.
So it's looking like I'm just gonna be belting out monster-illiad length fics for a while with fun little sprinkles of 30/40ks
someone call god, tell him I need intense emotional support because the urge to post another chapter is already creeping up on me and it's been less than 24 hours. I CANNOT FALL INTO THIS SAME FUCKING TRAP AGAIN. Like I just assumed if I reworked an old fic I would throw it on post schedule and contain the same amount of self restraint that I do with my other fics but the literal worms in my brain are like *dont be shy post like 17 chapters in two hours* LIKE WHAT.
Excuse me, I'm busy being insane bc I have literally been up since three (it could have been 1:30, but I honestly can't recall) this morning LMFAO.
9:07 pm update: I took a nap to try and reduce the pure insanity I was dealing with it and I just opened my google doc and realized I'm about to start book 2. GUYS. Book two was by far my absolute fucking favorite. Like, I loved book 2. Frankly, want to make everything else feel more like book 2 bc AHHHHH IT WAS MY FAVORITEEEEE IDC WHAT ANYONE SAYS LMFAO
10:07: I just want you guys to know I reread Craig's chapter, yes his chapter, bc he now longer gets a little separated paragraph, but a chapter, and Heart to Heart came on and I started crying. And then proceeded to reread Tweek's end chapter and We'll Meet Again came on and I'm actually ready to throw up LMFAOOOOOO
(I wrote them before I went to sleep and I had to make sure they read well and blah blah whatever and now I'm just SAD. But also, what the fuck did I expect? This is what happens when you write a sad story with happy little stickers on it and a main character who despite everything wants nothing more than to be optimistic.)
9:18pm hi guys I am on my way home and yall are gonna HEAR IT IN MY END NOTES TONIGHT HOLY SHIT I GAVE TO PROOFREAD DANDELION I AM REALIZING THIS AS I TYPE IM GONNA BE SICK
anyways
I am here to rant bc I was just talking about it DOES ANYONE ELSE dislike when Bebe is portrayed as like an angel or like the opposite end of the spectrum and like straight up mean
LIKE I JUST WANNA SEE HER GIRLBOSS AND PEOPLE DO NOT WRITE HER LIKE THAT ANYMORE CAN I PLS GET SOME SUPER DYNAMIC GIRLBOSS BEBE RECS LMFAOOOOO
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Omw to return dune messiah and I’m wondering if I should borrow 1984 but summer is THE Nabokov season and I reread all of his books I own so idk idk help
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Omw to reread the Percy Jackson books cause Percy never did me wrong.
"not all men" exactly Perseus Jackson would never
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Tag people you want to get to know better!
Tagged by @nananarc Tagging @andordean @jawanaka @poetikat @justalittletomato @grinningnexu @aftergloom @botherbother-blog @stardustbee @oftengruntled @storm89 @xuelingxu @patchiefrog @sydnubabu if you are interested:D
Favorite color: don’t really have one
Currently reading: a mistake to ask me about books because I cannot fuking shut up about them
A Cormac McCarthy (Suttree. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I gave in bc my mentor worships his prose. Hasn’t clicked with me yet.) Non-fic just got Susan Kuklin’s Beyond Magenta (fuck book banning). Nir Eyal’s Indistractable (ha-fucking-ha), The 99% Invisible City by Roman Mars. For fic I’m rereading The Tower of Swallows for comfort, and The Wife of Willesden by Zadie Smith (have literary grudges against her, so I feel extra need to read her stuff…)
Last song:
youtube
Omw home in the car, partner’s playlist. College memories. RIP man.
Last movie: in theater? John Wicker 4. Went for Hiroyuki Hanada 😏, but watching Keanu falling off the stairs for two mins is gold. (Still, wish we watched Renfield instead.)
Last series: Finished The Last of Us.
Craving: a state of processed celtuce?
Tea or coffee: COFFEE. Drink tea only when I want to live 🫀
Currently working on: cute stickers of Dathomir kids. A chapter of this long Maul fic. Last dust-off of a Teen!Maul one-shot after getting some more feedback. A flashfiction for sub. Editing works x2. Anxiety management over Mother’s imminent visit (may the Force be with me. Plz.).
#rewatching Dark#bc partner wants to#sicko! absolutely sicko#that show plunges me into weird depression#but also yes so good#tag game#personal
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⭐ for ikte!!!
hehehehe
anyway I started writing this silly ahh fic in July 2022 after rereading the series and I have a lot of silly headcanons and silly little facts that I cooked up in my crazy brain hehehe also this is going to be annoyingly long so I'm putting it under a read more
-I’ve had the headcanon that the victors were trafficked out of a physical brothel since about 7th grade when I found out what a brothel was, i liked the idea of them all kind of commiserating. In my mind sex trafficking is actually a huge moneymaker in the Capitol even before Ptolemy’s time but he streamlined it in some way and eventually was able to monopolize it (I won’t get into that fully yet bc there’s a pretty big plot point related to that) (I spent way too much time thinking about this lmao), in addition to victors and ‘roadsiders’ as mentioned in the 3rd chapter he also gets his pick of new shipments of Avoxes, which go for way cheaper. (I’m trying to remember what has actually been published yet lmao I’m just omw home from work rn, none of this is like. major spoilers tho like I won’t talk about [REDACTED] or the [REDACTED] 🤪😎 anyway I love writing about evil shitty ppl doing weird evil shit my Baby Book headcanons are very ASOIAF coded
-idk how many chapters there are going to be yet but as of right now probably about 70, I’m contemplating breaking it up by year bc it starts w Annie’s games and ends right at the beginning of CF w a post-MJ epilogue. Im also giving pre-canon POV chapters to a few characters, as of rn I have one for Asenath and one for Ronan aka Ciaran’s dad but I can’t decide who else…. also on that note Asenath’s backstory is fucking bonkers and I can’t get into it rn without just openly spoiling a huge chunk of the second half of the fic but it’s. a lot. it starts to be hinted at in the 7th chapter which will ideally be up soon… >:)
-I have entirely too many opinions about fanon Annie and how I am literally the only person who Gets Her and I won’t get into all of that now but as an Actual Mentally Ill Person™️ I definitely don’t think the Capitol would have just left her alone after she Came Back Wrong like I definitely think the upper echelon would have kind of pretended all that never happened especially bc (at least in my take as we will see soon bc I have actually finished those chapters hehe) she was INCREDIBLY inconvenient as it pertained to mainstream entertainment/network tv but the tabloids and more low-brow media outlets would have had an absolute field day w her and that’s a major plot point in The Piss. Also as someone who has had actual psychotic episodes and has actual OCD and actual autism I’m definitely taking her in a different direction than most ppl do lmao. Also somewhat on that note I know there is a high demand for like. rly saccharine odesta content there is absolutely none of that in the piss lmao. Like they have cute little couple-y scenes but for a good chunk of it they are two deeply traumatized unemployed 18/19year olds w way too much money basically just sniping at each other until one of them overhears someone talking shit about the other and gets their child gladiator sleeper agent murder instinct triggered
-A few scenes I'm rly looking forward to publishing in no particular order without any context are The Seal Scene, Angerona Heavensbee's Wedding, the 72nd games, The Ismene Reveal, The Phoca Reveal and Persephone's introduction hehehehe and half of these are already fully finished >:)
#sorry if this is so disjointed lmao im exhausted#i wrote half of this omw home and half just now about to pass out and i have to get up early tmrw#ask#brynners#ikte#thg#i also have been in a tism spiral about this silly fic since july so i need to like. air this out
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Marinette "Valkyrie" Wayne
Masterlist Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 ao3 link (completed) Valkyrie’s suit
Pairing: Marijon
Rating: G
WC: 1.3k
Jason was strictly confined to the couch the next day. Just when he was getting bored with spamming various family members with memes and Bat conspiracy articles/headlines, Marinette entered the living room with the book he was reading.
“How’d you know I wanted to read David Copperfield ?”
“I didn’t? It was on your bed, so I figured you were rereading it.”
“Oh. Thanks.”
“No problem.”
~
Mari and Steph were sitting in silence in the den on their phones. Suddenly Mari straightened. “Jon is going to be here in a second.”
“How do you know?”
“Uh, he called.”
“I didn't hear that.” Steph munched on a waffle suspiciously.
“It was earlier.”
“Oh, have fun.”
“Thanks.”
~
Her phone buzzed with a text.
Bruce: Can you come to my office, please?Mari: omw
She knocked and peered in. "Yes?”
“Come in. Your papers were delivered today. You are now officially a Wayne, Marinette. Do you want to keep Dupain-Cheng, or switch to Wayne? I’m not offended if you keep it. Dick kept his and the others added hyphens. I suppose you could, too, but Dupain-Cheng-Wayne is a bit of a mouthful.”
“I’ll keep MDC as my initials. I’ll be introduced as Marinette Wayne to new people, and to previous acquaintances, I’ll continue as Dupain-Cheng.”
“Alright. Welcome to the Wayne family, officially, Marinette.”
She gave Bruce a small smile. “Thank you.”
“When do you want your welcoming party to be?”
“You can’t escape; it’s tradition,” Dick walked in. “Congratulations!”
She hugged him happily. “Thanks!”
Mari turned back to Bruce. “How long does it take to plan?”
“Not long; we’ve got all the necessary contacts. But I am going to Paris in two weeks to see if I can track down Ladybug and visit Adrien.”
“Can we do it there? We can use Chloe’s father’s ballroom. Then I can see Adrien and my old friends can see I’m not lying.”
“Of course. The others can patrol Gotham and zeta over for the gala. They’ll have to fly with us though, to establish a presence first, then zeta back…that will work. Alright. I’m flying on the 19th.”
“Sounds good. Thanks, Dad,” she added, smiling.
Bruce gave her a small smile back. “You’re welcome.”
~~
Red Robin found Valkyrie that night discussing psychology with Harley Quinn. He rolled his eyes at Catwoman, who shrugged helplessly. What can you do?Eventually, they gave up and simply dragged their respective partners away.
~~
Tim came up behind Mari, who was half awake, the next morning. “So we’re off to France, I see.”
She grunted in reply and a knife appeared out of nowhere in her hand.
He blinked, and it was gone. He blinked again and decided it was too early for no-coffee-induced hallucinations.
He poured a gigantic mug of coffee and lifted it to his mouth in unconscious unison with Mari. They chugged their mugs while the others eyed them in horror.
~~~~~
It was Christmas break, so Jon flew over to Paris with the Waynes, and Marinette showed him the sights, avoiding Bruce in his hunt for Ladybug, until Jon’s break was over and he had to return for school.
Chloe had flown over earlier to visit her father, having already graduated.
The Waynes stayed at the Grand Paris, Mari with Chloe, and the others in their own rooms.
On the first day back at school (for the others), Marinette slipped in early to visit her ex-classmates. They were scattered into various classes, so she met them on their way to class. They were all surprised to see her back.
"I came to prove my innocence. Tomorrow night I’m having a party at the Grand Paris, in the ballroom. Y’all can come or not, I really don’t care. But if you do, I promise a show.”
“Y’all?” asked Alya*.
“I picked it up from my boyfriend; he has country roots. You’ll meet him tomorrow if you come. Au revoir!” With a wave, she slipped past them and headed out to the car where the others were waiting for her.
~
(*we're pretending they're speaking English, not French, here because I like the idea of Mari picking up Midwest slang from Jon and the Kents.)
~
The next night, her classmates showed up to the ballroom, dressed in their best, which was still less than the others'.
Several JL members were there as civilians– Diana Prince, Clark Kent, Lois Lane, Jon Kent, Oliver Queen and Dinah Lance with Roy and Lian Harper, Rachel Roth, and all the Waynes, of course.Adrien and Chloe were there, Clara, Jagged, Penny, Luka and Juleka too.
Alya almost screamed when she saw the Kents, and Lila began talking about how she was dating Damian Wayne.
Rachel came up, dressed in a black and aubergine MDC dress. “Hi, I’m Rachel, Damian’s girlfriend. Who are you?”
“Lila Rossi. Since when was Damian dating anyone?”
“We’ve been dating for over a year but kept it quiet. Do you know him? Damian!” Rachel called him over with a false niceness.
“Oh, no, I was telling my friends about a different Damian Wayne. It’s a quite common name, actually!” Lila laughed nervously.
Marinette entered with her hair in a lovely updo, dressed in a red MDC, and flawlessly made up. She immediately headed for the Kents and hugged Jon, then moved on to the Waynes – specifically Damian and Rachel. (Of course, they weren’t plotting anything, Mari, don’t be silly.)
Chloe and Adrien joined a minute later, quite comfortable with the billionaires.
After a while, Jon and Mari broke away to mingle and approached the class. “Hey, you came. Guys, this is my boyfriend, Jon Kent. Jon, my old classmates…”
After introductions, Alya turned to Marinette. “How are you dating Jon Kent?! How did you meet in France?!”
“Oh, you didn’t know?”
Marinette feigned shock when Jason came up behind the others.
“Mari here was fostered in the States. She met Jon there – he’s her brother’s best friend. That’s what the party’s for, to celebrate her adoption.”
“You got adopted? Who was that stupid?” asked Lila.
Bruce came over, putting a hand on Mari’s shoulder and smiling politely. “Did someone say something about me?”
“No, sir. I was just talking about Marinette's adoptive parents. Why would they adopt her? She’s a bully, liar, coward, and runaway; they obviously made a big mistake.” She would have continued, but Bruce interrupted.
“I don’t make big mistakes, Miss Rossi. In my business, I literally can’t afford to – thousands of people’s livelihoods are on the line. And I would appreciate it if you would refrain from demeaning and slandering my daughter and our family.”
He spoke politely yet chillingly, sending shivers down the backs of those around him as they realized just how badly Lila had messed up.
“Y-you adopted Marinette?!”
“Yes, I did. I found it quite disturbing how no one in France wanted Mari because of the slander against her name. I hate it when someone lies about my family. Filing lawsuits is a hassle for everyone,” he not-so-subtly warned.
“Hey, Marinette! Come talk with Dinah here about psychology,” interrupted Oliver.
“Mr. Queen, I’m studying to get my doctorate in psychiatry. Though we both help with mental health, there is a difference.”
“Apologies, Miss Wayne.”
“Marinette is fine. I’ll come to entertain Di, though, she may have some advice.”
“It’s amazing how much you can grow as a person when you're removed from a toxic environment,” Jason said cuttingly, following her to the Queens to talk to Roy and Lian.
The class watched as everyone complimented Marinette and the Waynes on their clothing, and she blushed and thanked them. Diana even commissioned her.
Marinette was a celebrity, too? How had they pegged her so wrong?
Alya died a little inside when Lois Lane complimented Marinette on Effortless Style’s writing.
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omw to reread the entirety of the grisha-verse books
#grisha#shadow android#six of crows#rule of wolves#wylan is my favourite person in the history of the universe and i would lay down my life for him and his silly little butterflies#i kinda like your face are you kidding me#season 2 ripped me open scooped all of my vital organs out and replaced them with genya fucking screaming for david
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July 14th.
As I reread my biweekly/monthly reflections for the year, my 1st thought is that I don't really write enough. It's great to know how my thoughts are on this certain week, or how I am mentally at that time. It's also funny to see an opinion and think "hey, maybe I don't really think of like that anymore". I'll most likely keep changing in the future when I grow and get experience. AND of course, hope to keep thoughts that are right. You'd be surprised how closed- minded you are.
I did say I was gonna get MVP of these days. Dreams do come true. Next dream, champion??
"Action is the antidote to anxiety. Small steps in the right direction create momentum- small steps against the wind. The willow submits to the wind and prospers until one day it is many willows- a wall against the wind"- Frank Herbert
"Our healed selves are not our most flawless selves. They are not immune to sadness or grief or fear. They are just not controlled by those experiences any longer. They feel sadness when it is time for sadness, and grief when it is time to grieve, and contentment on a more regular basis" - When you're ready, this is how you heal
" The person you marry is the person you fight with. The house you buy is the house you repair. The dream job you take is the job you stress over. Everything comes with an inherent sacrifice. Whatever makes us feel good will also inevitably makes us feel bad. Make space for imperfection. - The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck
Sometimes I get sooo tired of watching self help videos, books, articles, etc. The thought process of " Go, go, go, go. Improvement. Must change! More, more more" is so tiring It's really ok to allow yourself to rest and bedrot here and there. Aka the dream.
That being said, I feel like I've been stagnant for longer than I need to. Time to go. Omw to clean my room!!
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in this house we stan rick riordan and no other and fuck fuck they will so so be twelve i'm going to cry
#percy jackson#i was not excited when i heard the news i was terrified#but thEN I SAW RICK#AND IJEOMA WAS EXCITED SO U H M#omw to reread the books and ignore all my uni exams 😎#rick riordan
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hello!~ o(〃^▽^〃)o
can i request headcanons for kaeya, diluc, childe, and venti on what they would while their s/o dies in their arms? (if thats okay with u <3)
thank u sm! :))
BESTIE THE PAIN I FEEL RN!!! Omw to make hurt some of my faves hope you enjoy <3
Also guys I’ve been here for a day how are there almost 50 of you following?!
Pairings; (Separate) Kaeya, Diluc, Childe, Venti x reader
Warning(s); hurt, big hurty, reader death, vague wound description, cursing, talk about dead bodies
Keep reading under the cut!
Kaeya
This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. You were meant to live forever with him. You were supposed to grow old with him and become a parent to your future children. You were-
“Kaeya” you choke out smiling at your partner above you. The man shakes his head mentally pleading with you to not die “Kaeya I will always be on the wind” you tell him, a shaky, bloody hand raised to his cheek to weekly caress it
“Please” he pleads “Please don’t die on me [name]” you smile at him feeling the breaths in your lungs disappear
“I’m sorry Kae--ya” you apologise before passing away in his arms
He doesn’t move for a long time. He doesn’t feel for a long time. The one person he could share his secrets and his love to gone. Away with the wind
Kaeya doesn’t remember the last time he cried, but he’ll remember this one.
Your beaten, bruised, broken, dead, and beautiful body slumped in his arms as his tears fall from his face as he feels an absence in his heart
How is he supposed to live on if this is the pain he feels right now?
Jean eventually stumbles upon Kaeya out in the wilds, still clutched to your now cold and even more lifeless body
Jean manages to get the man up with your body held close to his chest
“Jean, I can’t, I can’t let them go” he pleads as if he’s waiting for you to simply wake up in his arms
“Kaeya...” Jean says in a concerned tone having never seen him in such a state, even he seemed to quickly recover from his fathers death
Eventually Jean coaxed Kaeya to go back to the city and leave your body in the hands of the sisters. Where they dressed you up and prepared a funeral service for you
The funeral was larger than Kaeya was expecting, you had affected a many more people than he realised from your small jobs around the city. Kaeya can’t help but be awed at how many people you’ve helped while you were in Mond
The usual chatter of Mondstat is quiet and in a time of grieving for about a week or so, many people have wonderful memories of you and Kaeya seems to be collecting them all, that and bunches of flowers. Many of which find themselves laying on your tombstone as Kaeya tells you about his day
A month passes and it seems like everything's back to normal, Kaeya is back to his outgoing self. He spends more nights at the tavern, but even Diluc doesn’t have the heart to cut him off.
Jean seems to pick up on the smallest things, goddamnit Jean, the extra nights at the tavern, the eyebags, the weeping she can hear from his room. In it’s own right is heart-breaking, the acting Grandmaster cannot imagine what it’s like to be actually experiencing that kind of pain
-
Diluc
No, not like this
You had both decided that night to join each other in your little vigilante escapade. Which was fine you had both done this before, but tonight resulted in something very different
Here you are, head on Dilucs lap. This could be considered romantic, and often was, were it not for the fact you felt like you choked up a mixture of your lung and your bloody supply
“Diluc” you speak with a much worse for wear voice, the red-head looks into your eyes, eyes already gaining moisture. A similar scene has befallen him before, a Diluc knows how this ends
“Please” he pleads his voice wavering “Please don’t leave me” he chokes back a sob and tears fall off his face the salt hitting your own
“I love you so much” you start, Diluc shakes his head. Must you hurt him so with last words? “Don’t blame yourse-” another set of hacking befalls you as you lose more blood
“Please” he pleads again as the grip you had on his arm goes slack indicating your loss of life
Diluc screams, he cries and he hugs you close. He screams into the air of Mondstat until his voice hurts and he cries until all he’s doing is dry sobbing and he holds you close until you’re broken body is pried from his own broken mind
A wondering Jean heard his screams into the night sky and hereby answered them. She never expected to see Diluc, still in his vigilante getup, crying over your body
She calls for more guards who take your body from his and Jean helps Diluc get back to the estate. At one point during the walk Jean can feel DIluc shaking and hyperventilating. So they stand for a moment, Jean holds and comforts the wine-master before they move again
Jean has never seen such emotion from Diluc before, and she wholeheartedly hopes she’ll never have to see it again. Seeing Diluc so raw and rife with emotion is enough to make anyone cry. And Jean nearly did on more than one occasion.
Your funeral is small, much to Dilucs request and really only were attended by the estate and Jean. Diluc didn’t want to cry again in such a large audience
Though the maids often hear pained sobs coming from Dilucs room as he contemplates and often blames himself for what had transpired. Maids daren’t speak up about what they hear though, Diluc’s pain is more than understandable
Diluc throws himself into work opting to man the bar most days of the week and fighting for the city as often as he can. People around him are more than concerned
Diluc’s stoic nature seems to be intensified now, not wanting to let another person in and die in his arms. He’s seen enough death for his life and wishes not to lose more loved ones
Everything seems to have moved back to what life was before you arrived in your life, depressive, monotonous, boring, mundane for the most part and sad. So very sad
He wishes for a day where his heart isn’t strife with grief, but he doubts that day will not be coming anytime soon
-
Childe
You grin up at him, feeling close to naught pain coming from the gaping wound thanks to the excess of adrenaline that’s pumping through your body
“Childe” you say the smile still on your lips in an attempt at not making the situation as dark and horrific as it is. Childe speaks your name in return
“I love you” you tell him mustering the strength to cup the mans cheek, who immediately nuzzles into it. The situation almost doesn’t feel real to him. He’s going to be shaken awake by a very unwounded you in just a moment and inform him he’s having a nightmare
But that moment doesn’t come. Nor do any words come from you. Your slow rhythms of your heart remind you that he’s still got time, but you’ve expended all your energy. Your smile you’re wearing seems to be dropping
“I love you [name], I love you so much, you are everything I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you” he rambles bringing your body to his chest
“Live for--- me” you sputter out into his chest, a dying wish that Childe isn’t too sure he can uphold. Is it really living if he’s an empty vessel.
You go limp in his arms and he can no longer sense your heartbeat. Death had finally laid claim to you
Childe sits with you for hours, you’d expect him to be wailing like a banshee if you knew his personality but that’s rather not the case. Sobbing quietly is a better word for what happens. Most of his sobs and hacks for air are hidden in your hair. He pulled your body to his shoulder just to weep
Eventually he finds himself mustering the courage to walk back to Liyue Harbour. You firmly held in his arms. He knows that if he walks too plainly the Millelith would pry and ask too many questions for his fragile heart to answer
Childe ends up barging into the wangsheng funeral parlour, which surprises Zhongli a little. He’s about to go on a rant to Childe about how he must book an appointment, until he sees your lifeless body in his arms
The funeral is arranged quickly and neatly. There aren’t many people who attend, Childe is okay with that, he secretly wants to see his family and cry on their shoulder a bit
Instead he opts for a letter, which arrives to the family tear stained and lacking the usual penmanship ‘I’m sorry, you won’t be able to see [name] after all. They passed away not too long ago...’ he basically writes your arbitrary in the letter. And his whole heart is in every word he writes
Determined not to let anybody in Childe finds himself in a pattern, when he’s not throwing himself into battles he’s doing paper work or yelling at his subordinates and when he’s not doing that he’s doing his weekly fight with the traveller. Childe gets next to no sleep and instead opts to reading and rereading every letter and note you’ve ever given him
If Childe passes out at his desk nobody bothers him either in fear of getting yelled at by the harbinger or an understanding of losing a loved one
They never said being a harbinger was fulfilling work. Yet, he let himself believe that he could be fulfilled and content with a lover. What a shameful lie
-
Venti
He’s awfully quiet. He hasn’t experienced death in so long. Especially one he thought would be forever.
He couldn’t even get to you to hear your last words. Ironic isn’t it? He hadn’t heard that guys last words either. And yet this pains him so much more
Sure mortal lives are fleeting but he was certain he had more time with you. More time to see you grow old, more time to put off your inevitable mortality. More time to-
He’s hyperventilating, Venti’s body shakes as he finds nothing to ground himself not even the person he loves so dear is there for him. He feels like he could explode, breaths caught in his throat refusing to surface and come up for air. Despite being an immortal archon, the breaths that refuse to surface don’t fail to make him feel like he’s choking
A bard he is. And one that knows every song from the past, present and future. Suddenly the pained songs from the future make sense to him. He knew what was written. A love lost
Suddenly he finds himself crying and hunched over your deceased form making promises to the wind that he’ll never forget you. Much like he’ll ever forget that bard
He isn’t sure how long has passed but he’s still sobbing over your form, there aren’t many tears left for him to cry but he can’t find himself stopping. He feels like they’ll never stop.
Maybe he could lay beside you and sleep for another thousand years. But that would only delay the inevitable. The inevitable sinking feeling.
Maybe it was his fault for letting himself fall in love with a mortal, but in the moment he could truly see you living life with him. He could see a marriage, children. He wanted you to have it all.
Damn celestia and all things above for not letting you ascend, at least when he inevitably ascends you’ll be there to greet him. Curse that and your mortality
Jean eventually stumbles upon him during a recon mission to find him covering your body in various flowers, a crown made of cecelias don your head. He’s quiet, but he’s saying goodbye. Who would blame him? Jean doesn’t interrupt him and only wishes you a farewell
News of your death spread around town like wildfire, your grave donned with more flowers than Venti can count. He almost feels bad about not doing a public service after seeing how many people are truly in mourning
Diluc doesn’t push Venti to pay his growing tab no matter how much he should. And Diluc doesn’t say no to Venti singing his happy tunes in the tavern
It feels like his life has retuned to normal. Though Jean can’t help but look out the library window to see Venti sat atop his statue with an expression, as Jean can only guess, of sadness.
Venti finds himself going back to an old schedule again but he can’t miss the nagging feeling of somethings missing. The something being you
Sometimes he half expects you to hug him from behind, or join him up at the statue, or kiss him on his nose, or-
Venti can’t quite comprehend how he feels, he just knows there’s a hole in his heart where you belonged. And he doesn’t want to let anyone find their way into there
He doesn’t want to lose again
It’s happened too much
#guys im crying rn#genshin impact#genshin impact x reader#genshin venti x reader#venti x reader#genshin impact venti#genshin venti#venti#genshin childe x reader#genshin childe#genshin impact childe#childe#childe x reader#diluc x reader#genshin diluc x reader#genshin diluc#genshin impact diluc#kaeya x reader#genshin kaeya#genshin impact kaeya#kaeya
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Love endless will always have a special place in my heart even though I'm no longer in the fandom. It was an amazing experience so thank you for sharing your extraordinary talent with us, and for creating my comfort series. You're a genius and I love you. omw to reread rn!! ❤️❤️❤️
Oh my god thank you. That is really sweet. It's my comfort series too ahaha even tho I'm not really in the fandom anymore either. Well...a bitch is still a Harrie, but I digress. I'm really glad that I was able to give you anything that you enjoy. Really brings a smile to me face. Also, have fun rereading cuz it's a whole different bitch now. I edited the fuck out of all four books
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