imprxmptxnx

[imprxmptxnx]

The greediest man in the world gets everything he wants

Nothing behind me, everything ahead of me

[imprxmptxnx]

July

Today, Saturday, I finally have a "chiller" day! I'm very thankful that my time is filled with things to do and people to see. But I know there's always a feeling of wanting to not do anything.

FINALLY, I can just bedrot and just reflect

2. Two things I've learned while living by myself

I love to cook. But I'm not skilled enough yet to come up and experiment on my own. I don't cook for myself really so I'm thankful that I have people come consistently. I have to say, I do impress though 😌

I'm only clean because people come consistently. Unfortunately, the 1 week when I didn't have people over, my home is gross. Noted

3. Another season of baseball done! We suck this year and lost in the 1st round of playoffs. I will miss the feeling of being at bat, I like the pressure

4. Another month in my 1st home. I think time goes by way too fast. I have to say goodbye way too soon

5. I think this is the 1st time I've felt that I've outgrown someone. I do have feelings of not wanting to grow relationships further and leaving it as is. But I've never really had any thoughts of cutting anyone off. Why would I? Sure, we'll see each other here and there. But we won't just be as intentional as before. That's totally ok.

You know how some people say "I don't really see myself growing here". What's wrong with not "growing" in a friendship? I mean, growth is needed in romantic relationship because there's expectations there. But isn't the feeling of peace much more important with your friends?

I say all of these because there's just people that brings out negativity in me, not kind with their words, and bad influences. I'd like to think I'm very forgiving and I always put myself in other peoples shoes but If it happens consistently with no change, I think it's time to say goodbye fohreal. You're not my girlfriend, you don't' deserve the same patience I would give, you know?? "I genuinely dont want to see you anymore." Is my thoughts correct here??

IDK just random thoughts and tangent

6. That being said, I'm so conscious on the way that I act sometimes because I don't want the same feelings towards me. I hope I act ok for the most part!

7. THAT BEING SAID, I'm so thankful of my S+ relationships. tytytytyty. I try to reflect on my actions as much as I can, and be better for others. I know that no one is perfect. But If I'm consistent, I'm happy

8. No toxicity, good communication, supportive and encouraging, healthy base of friendship, being mutually open-minded, distinguishes hurtful sarcasm and playful teasing, working as a team

I lift you, you lift me

9. My love isn't fragile

[imprxmptxnx]

Tomorrow Mid July, I start again. Lets do it

I demand higher standards because what I ask for, I can also provide. I lift u, u lift me 🫶

The one Haikyuu quote “if we keep holding on to yesterday, what are we going to be tomorrow”

Sometimes you just gotta approach conflict w no solutions 😏

[imprxmptxnx]

june

Idk what tomorrow brings but Ill just enjoy today

[imprxmptxnx]

In fairness to me, I always knew Im that dude

what happened in my life for me to always believe in myself?? Where does the confidence come from?? where??? Actually insane mentality

I'm genuinely not afraid of failing. Is that odd?

[imprxmptxnx]

Thank you to my friends for helping me set up my patio further. I’m lucky to have some people I can rely on. This is a big deal because I rarely ask for help so it feels great to be fulfilled when it happens

Thank you to my dad for helping me change the oil of my car. Truthfully, I was having so much trouble with the screws being super tight. And the weather def didnt help with my mood. I was dreading asking my dad for help cause honestly, maybe I didnt get the help I needed when I asked when I was younger. I dont know… I guess it happened too many times growing up that one day… I just stopped.

I actually didn't even ask, I just made a side comment. Though I knew from my bottom of my heart, I really needed my dad in that moment. That mfer actually assisted me, no complaints, no side comments.

A while back, I asked my parents that I really need them to be there for me when I need them to. Hyper independence is 100% my biggest weakness and I’m aware it affects my relationship with others. I tear up as I write this, I’m lucky to have a good mom and dad. I’d like to think they remember what I asked for at my lowest LOL

Dadio, thanks for all that you do. I love you tons

[imprxmptxnx]

Heal the parts of me that still bleed 😌

Went to a party and a handful of people have gout (wth lol). Everyday, Im reminded to take care of myself while I still can. Helloooo???

Sometimes when I see someone I haven't seen in awhile and they act a certain way, it sucks that I have thoughts that go “welp, thats why were not as close these days” or “probably why I didn't have the need to grow this relationship”. I hope to be good in my actions so I can minimize these kinds of thoughts about me!

That being said, the debrief after seeing someone is brutal 😂 “Damn did I really say that”. I be overcritical in myself over here goodness

When I brought up to my therapist “how can someone do that? I don't understand how they can act like that”, its a good thought to have because its an affirmation its something Ill never do

Happy 6 months living by myself. My time here is limited, I dont take this for granted!

[imprxmptxnx]

5/13

Tonight, I ask for God's providence and guidance.

I gotta go. Time to go

[imprxmptxnx]

A new pope was appointed today!

I pray that Pope Leo represents Jesus well.

It's odd to say that I'm still sad about the late Pope Francis' passing. I never realized how much someone that I don't know personally could affect me. I'd like to think that I knew this dude Pope Francis was someone to look up to when he asked the people for their blessing and prayer BEFORE giving his. Truly a great man

[imprxmptxnx]

Thank you, God, for a good Lent season

Im saddened by the passing of Pope Francis. All things considered, I thought he was great because he was more accepting of LGBTs, divorced Catholics, and “loving your neighbour”. Idk, I guess it always bugged me how some Catholic friends are hateful towards others that dont believe in the same thing as them. It was nice to see a leader that was the opposite of what I disliked. What a loss, truly.

Seeing my peers have health issues sure is concerning. Its a good reminder to take care of yourself as much as you can

Yea, I feel unstoppable rn, game over

[imprxmptxnx]

Happy 3 months! (3 already?!)

Sometimes when I crashout, I sulk and stay in the moment for awhile. ITS JUST THE WORST. I'm really proud of the way I comfort myself and manage my surroundings. I mean, how many times do I feel like dying?? But you'd be proud to know my world didnt end and it was prob good again in 30 minutes. Being stuck in your head sure is tough, huh? I'll figure it out I always do

"There are dreamers and there are realists in this world. You'd think the dreamers would find the dreamers and the realist would find the realists, but more often than not, the opposite is true. I think the dreamers need the realist to keep them from soaring too close to the sun. And the realist? Well without the dreamers, they might never get off the ground" - from my fav show rn, Modern family.

As I grow, I find God instills new ideas, mindsets, and dreams that I never thought would be mine. As I change, Im disappointed in the mistakes Ive made. And as I change, Im proud of the things I did correctly also. Its good to know past N was right on somethings. Learning, getting more experience in life, sure puts a different lens on yourself from before.

One day, Binoo, will be my biggest heartbreak. I'm just not ready 🥲

3 months already? Living alone sure is tough. I feel like theres always something to do. However, I'd like to think Ive created a home where my friends can feel at home and a place where I can be peaceful. I really like it here. I already mourn the day I leave

That being said, I hope for a day to come where I dont feel guilty when I dont do anything

[imprxmptxnx]

Lent

I pray for further strength to deny myself in these next 40 days

Grateful to have my sisters slowly revive their relationship with Christ, even on a smaller scale

Finally, a slower 2 weeks to breathe and relax

Clean home, clean car, clean computer, good skin care routine, clean body. There's many problems and task but having a good base shifts the mindset

[imprxmptxnx]

Jan29

yes, lets

[imprxmptxnx]

2024 therapy lessons from my google doc

1.Don't judge your feelings. Instead learn how they came about and where they came from. Judge your actions

This is true for your friends as well. Don't blame them for their emotions, they cant control them. Place blame on their action

2. Your upbringing and past traumas arent excuse for bad behaviour. You have to be the one to break the cycle

I really liked when she said " Some people would use their past hurts or mental health issues as an excuse for bad behaviour. You can still be a good person despite these issues".

This is probably the biggest one for me. I apologize for looking down on others that are needing help and maybe wasnt the most independent. Sorry, its cause I didnt get alot of help growing up 😭

3. Your thoughts are probably lying to you. Thinking something doesn't make it true. ITS A FEELING NOT A FACT.

Bruh, S/O to the days when I would overthink and be anxious man. Helll naaaa

4. Unexpressed expection on others is a recipe for a disaster.

I told her my disappointment of my family getting me a gift I didnt like and probably will never use. I mean, they dont know me? I was quick to be corrected that hey, did you communicate that? Don't expect people to mind read. Then get upset at them for doing what you didnt expect. Sorry mom I will wear that yellow Turkey shirt to bed 😭😂

This is probably my 2nd fav lesson. There's just so many moments where someone would fall short on me, But Im quick to think "Actually, maybe they didnt know. All good"

5. Progress not perfection

One step at a time, Mr perfectionist.

I hope to continue to have help wheter its professional or just the people around me. I dont care if my thoughts are big or small, its nice to share them with others so I know if what Im thinking is valid, or if im just crazy.

[imprxmptxnx]

Dec

I really liked the way I carried myself this year. I was very true to my feelings, I was quick to forgive, quick to question myself, quick to accept outcomes of situations out of my control, and quick to see when my emotions are being heightened.

I was also thankful for the relationships I strengthened and the new ones I found. I know I'm only human and I don't really know anyone 100% but I hope to continue to make good discernments on who I give my limited time to.

I'm very thankful of the past relationships that I also left behind or maybe wasn't able to grow. I really learned a lot, not from what they were, But from what they weren't or lacking. It really gives me the ideas on what kind of people I want in my life. But more importantly, It showed me who I really want to be as a person. That being said, I try my best to carry only good memories of people I'm not as close with. I really am thankful.

There's so many moments, of course, where I wasn't the best. The reality is I'm probably going continue to make mistakes, let people down here and there, come up short, and maybe even stay stagnant. However, I think my favourite trait about myself is that Im always going to learn and be better. Im always telling myself that "Its time to go". Its probably my favourite little reminder to myself that whats done is done, reflect, time to put your best foot forward, implement your lessons, time to go.

I hope to have a strong start to my 30s

Nauard, u idiot. Stop being annoying. Fix your plantar. Goto the gym. Watch what you eat. Be kind to others. Stay playful. Don't be boring. Love Jesus. Continue therapy talks. Put your lessons into actions. Give out compliments. Dont be so sarcastic. Be better.

[imprxmptxnx]

Nov

Yea I must be out of my god damn mind. What's happening to me?