#omg monica get his a$$

[maraczeks]

friends s3 thread pt 1

[miley1442111]

Hi love :) I was wondering if you wouldn't mind doing a little something for Derek Morgan? Where reader and Derek have a similar dynamic to Chandler and Monica from friends, maybe something similar to that one scene where Monica gets called high-maintenance and can't stop thinking about it and Chandler comforts her by saying that whilst you may be a little above the average maintence level (or something around those lines, it's been like 2 years since I last watched friends 😅), he's just like, "it's okay, because I like... maintaining you?".

Btw I'm obsessed with your fics I just finished reading all your Aaron fics in one go. Thank you so much my love! <333

omg i love this ideaaaa so much (Truth be told I've never watched friends once so i did in fact have to look this scene up on youtube)

i hope you enjoy!!

a/n: intended for fem or male reader, so imagine what you like:)))))))))

summary: you're not high maintenance, right?

pairing: derek morgan x reader

warnings: general criminal minds topics, mild insecurities

High-maintenance. You weren’t high maintenance, right? 

It had been a throw-away comment from earlier in the week, something funny David had said. Though it stuck with you, making you question if you were high-maintenance or not. 

Was it high maintenance to ask your boyfriend to drive you to the gym? To ask him to get you a coffee? To ask his opinion on things? To ask him to help you with something?

You were going over it constantly in your head, so much so, that you’d decided to change. 

Him getting you coffee turned into you getting him coffee. Him helping you on cases turned into you practically ignoring him unless you were alone, or at home. Him giving his opinion on anything you’d usually ask him to give his opinion on, turned into never asking his opinion. Him driving you to the gym turned into you walking there and back alone. Maybe that one was a mistake… 

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

You sat in the passenger seat of his car, the rain had ruined your hair, your active clothes sticking to your body, and his voice droning on in a lecture of why it wasn’t safe to walk home at 11pm alone. 

“I mean I seriously don’t understand baby, why can’t you just let me pick you up?-” he was worried. The kind of worry that made someone pissed off. 

“Why can’t I just let you pick me up, Derek?” You mocked. “I fucking wonder why.” 

“You wanna’ tell me something baby?” He cocked his head to the side, glancing at you quickly. 

“No,” you mumbled. 

“What is wrong with you this week? We’re barely spending any time together, you won’t let me drive you anywhere, you’re acting like I’m not there at work-”

“I’m trying Derek, alright. Give me a fucking break,” you huffed.

“What are you ‘trying’ to do?” He asked, genuine confusion coating his words. 

You just sighed and left the car as he parked it outside your shared apartment. You stood in the elevator, his jacket around your shoulders, feeling silly. Why had you let him pick you up? Oh yeah, three guys were following you. Probably the safer choice, though it didn’t make you feel any less childish. 

You’re so high maintenance, a voice in your head nagged and you slipped his jacket off and handed it to him. 

“Baby, can you just talk to me?” he asked, pulling the emergency stop button and turning to you. 

“About what?” You started the elevator again, wanting to ignore whatever issue he thought you two had. 

“Baby, if I did something-”

“You did nothing,” you reassured him with a sad chuckle.

“Then what’s wrong?” He asked, taking your hand in his. “Please talk to me.”

You looked down at his hand, a sad smile on your face. “It’s nothing.”

“Tell me anyway,” he chuckled, pressing a kiss to your cheek. 

“Do you think I’m high maintenance?” You asked, scared of his answer. 

He smiled down at you and sighed. “You’re a little high maintenance.”

“Oh…” you sighed. So Dave was right. Everything he’d said was right. Derek probably finds you so annoying. He probably hates you.

“But I like getting to do the maintenance. I like taking care of you,” he smirked, pressing a kiss to your cheek. “I’m glad you let me take care of you.”

“What?” You stared at him and he pressed a kiss to your lips. 

“I like maintaining you,” he repeated and a smile spread across your face. 

Who listens to Rossi anyway?

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

criminal minds masterlist :) - requests are open! :)

[thebearer]

Hi, I was wondering if we could get some dad Lip and his babies on Halloween. Like them getting dressed up and trick or treating and something in him healing because he definitely never did that with Frank or Monica.

this is so sweet omg.

maybe the auto shop puts on a trunk or treat, or hosts one for the kids. just something fun to do, so he gets to bring freddie. freddie's finally two- he can walk, talk, and sorta understands the concept of halloween and trick or treating.

you're heavily pregnant with jude, due to deliver any day now, which makes lip a little nervous. he tries to say that you both can stay home, do it next year when freddie is bigger, but you're not missing your baby trick-or-treating.

freddie's in his little costume, toddler running around place to place, giggling and screeching in laughter and it just hits lip how he never had this. one year monica got her shit together enough to take him and ian, but every other year it was fiona, or they wouldn't go.

you're behind him, snapping pictures and cooing at freddie who's giggling, running back to show you and lip what he got, squealing with toddler glee and it leaves lip's chest burning with an ache that's not necessarily uncomfortable, more happy in a way. happier that he gets to do this with his son.

[layanomaly]

i know we're all entitled to our opinions about the finale and i do respect that really

but if youre someone who says that it was "lazy writing".....you can respectfully get tf out- literally- THERES THE DOOR BITCH😭👉🏻🚪

jkjk ahaha....

but fr tho i honestly think the finale was less of a "lazy writing" and more of a "OMG THERES SO MUCH TO WRITE AND WE DK WHAT TO INCLUDE" mess up-

i hope you guys get what im trying to sayy???

cuz even in that one wrap interview with jac.....she did say they discussed about the agathario flashbacks- “They met over corpses”??? “Then the room took it in a direction that then they lived in a cottage”???? “We talked at length about it, to the point of, is Rio Nicky’s father?”??? so its not like they didnt......but it was in a way important for the plot (and ill tell you how) for them to give more preference to nicky/agathas story it was to show why agatha did what she did for billy (AND NO SHE DIDNT KISS RIO FOR BILLY SHE KISSED RIO FOR HERSELF BECAUSE THAT HOW SHE WANTED TO LEAVE THIS WORLD.....TO BE IN THE EMBRACE OF SOMEONE SHE LOVES-......SHE DIDNT NEED TO KISS HER TO SIPHON HER POWERS BUT SHE STILL DID SO DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THAT OMG) ......and yes it wasnt a "sacrifice"....more of a "calculated risk" but we all know agatha did care about billy the key factor tho here was to show WHY she cared for him which was cuz of nicky so before any of you say "UGH THE WHOLE POINT OF AAA WAS TO ELEVATE BILLYS CHARACTER" dont- and also did we watch the same show??? i get being upset about being robbed of agathario....believe me i am too but if you try to look at it from a "positive" aspect.......that is in a way how marvel works.......we got introduced to billy the same way agatha and monica were introduced to us in wandavision albeit billy did get more screen time- and if youve read the comics youd know how important his character goes on to become so ig i do feel like the screen time was well deserved???.....although i still do think we needed more context on agathas story but hey like i said there was so much they wanted to include in the story but not enough time..... and im not a huge fan of his character so this isnt even me defending billy....rather its just me trying to be reasonable

plus i do think theyve left a good amount of loose threads to hopefully work with for a season 2 or a lady death spin off????

[s-rosie]

TIG CRACK HCSSSSS #2

30 hours to live, how should i spend themmm…?

max and avery have a game called “uncomfortable flirting” where they go back and forth trying to make the other person either get too caught off guard to make a comeback or quit bc they get uncomfortable (this is actually a real game that me and my friend made up lol it’s actually fun if you are good enough friends for it not to be awkward)

jameson watches barbie life in the dream house and quotes it without even realizing

avery says stuff like “me personally i would never take that level of disrespect but that’s just me” kinda ironically but kinda not

xander and ave had a water balloon fight using gloves from the nurse filled with water at school and they got detention for it after avery accidentally threw a glove at someone she thought was xan but wasn’t

max tried to become a rapper in like 6th grade and she entered the talent show and everything trying to rap to like nicki minaj but it kinda sucked and now the video of her at the talent show haunts her

grayson has the best fake porn star girl moan but he only did it once on a dare with jameson and no one will believe jamie that he can do it and it drives him crazy

libby can do weird things with her tongue (get your mind out of the gutter) like she can lick her elbow, touch her nose and chin with her tongue, do that clover tongue thingy, etc.

nash did gymnastics when he was little and he does random back handsprings now

jameson, avery, and xander are the reason most of the rules at their school were made bc they always found loop holes

oren is fluent in gen alpha and is a translator for when xander and jamie start talking gen alpha

alisa watches spirit and cries every time

gigi blasted “i don’t fuck with you” when sav finally broke up with duncan

lyra has a shirt that says “thick thighs save lives” and grayson gets so embarrassed bc he knows those thick thighs saved his life

jamie went through a phase for like a week where he didn’t shower and just used chocolate axe spray instead in like 5th grade

max, avery, lyra, and libby make spicy dances together and say they are going send them to their boyfriends but they always get too embarrassed so they just keep them a secret (but then the truth came out and xander hacked their phones to get the videos)

max makes those “i just wanna be part of your symphony 🌈🌈🌈🌈🐬🐬🐬🐬🐬✨✨✨✨🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀” memes and sends them to avery at like 3:30 am randomly

xander will barge into avery and jamie’s room and see them kissing and say “omg guys get a room” just to confuse and annoy them

max and Xander make pov tik toks together

Avery once pulled a monica from friends and pinned Xander down to get his eye drops in and xander couldn’t get up and was like was like “omg why are you so good at this!!!” then “wait, why are you so good at this… 😏” and avery just sat there like 🫣😳

when libby went wedding dress shopping, max and avery also tried on wedding dresses and even bought them just to have fun in

gigi and xander love sexyy red and put her on the hawthorne house speakers to make everyone die because her songs are so dirty

i hope you like theseeeeee

[i-yap]

Thinking about the wedding ask you answered before but what if Grayson proposed to his s/o and his s/o already bought a ring to propose to him as well? Like that would be so cute 😭💕

Hey sorry I'm a little late, in responding, I usually have a couple meetings on Thursday and after human interaction I'm too dead to do anything.

omg your request is so monica and chandler idk why..like that scene she proposes and..yea . Thats a really cute idea.

Dick grayson x reader

Some may consider being friends with your boyfriends ex weird, but barbara and kori were still a part of his teams and they knew what grayson had with you was something special and different. And so you became sort of friends..at least this way you got gossip on grayson. But it was also the reason why you were here, In a jewellery store. looking through wedding bands.

"And then he kept crying "take me to y/n" " laughed kori telling the story of Dick on anesthesia. You laughed back in return"What can I say, the man's a simp". "Yea never really saw him like that you know" replies Kori.

"Like what?" . "Loving someone so much, he was sweet with me, but he never really made effort. I guess I always knew it was a temporary thing. I couldn't even bring up commitment with him, I don't think I even heard him say the word "wedding" the whole time we were together."

"He is a litttle hesitant towards commitment I suppose, its his childhood- all that repressed trauma" you say , trying to cheer her up a little. "But with you it seems like he might even ask you to marry him- though the idea of him asking anyone to marry him sounds crazy"

"Why is that?" you ask

"Dont take me wrong, he loves you but I just cant see him getting down on one knee and -well popping the question"

And so here you are now. Staring at the perfect wedding band set . Was this a little unconventional ..yes. Did you care? Hell no. You knew Dick wanted forever with you. You guys had talked about kids, grandkids, what flowers you want in your wedding. He just wasn't popping the question and if he wasn't going to do it, you would. You understand he has his issues, but he is committed to you, he loves you and you can help him out with this little something.

After that talk with kori you had been monitoring Dick , He did talk a lot about marrying you but never really brought up the actual question. And you didn't want to wait longer. This was the man you wanted to spend forever with..its decided.

So you and dick plan out a perfect date. He was more than excited to make sure everything was perfect- saying he was just excited because you guys haven't had a proper date in while(which is a lie , dick takes you out every week for a fancy date )

But it turns out perfect. By the private beach, a pretty blanket with champagne and food. the sun setting slowly and a chill spring air which makes you sit just a little closer. You take out the ring just as the sun starts setting. Dick looks over perplexed. He looks at the ring, then at you smiling and then ring again. "Dick grayson, I love you. I never thought I'd meet a man like you, I didn't even know they existed. And they don't , you're special to me. You are kind and smart and really hot. There is no one else for me , its just you. Marry me?"

Dick gives the biggest smile, pulls you up onto the sand and get down on his knees before reaching into his pocket and pulling out a ring. "y/n, I guess you beat me to it huh? Ive been carrying this ring for 3 months now waiting for the perfect moment. But every moment with you is perfect, you are perfect for me and you make me want to be the perfect man for you. Ive known that since the first date , I know that right now and I will remember it forever. Will you marry me y/n l/n?"

"First you answer my question" you hiccup, tears welling up in your eyes.

"haha, yes yes I will marry you y/n grayson"

"is this a bad time to mention I don't like your surname"

"We can change it, keep it something you like, like cupcakes..y/n cupcakes" he says tears in his own eyes.

you giggle as you pull him up, sliding the rings onto each others hand and kissing as the sun falls below the ocean's horizon.

[lanawinterscigarettes]

OOPS my ask did go through omg 😭😭😭 it was the same thing so you don't have to answer it 😩 thank you!!!! I enjoyed the hcs so much...

a fun one i thought was a drabble/fic of rachel being extremely possessive and jealous so she doesn't just mark you with kisses but also writes that someone 🙂 is the property of miss rachel green

hehe thank u for indulging me - ✨️

you're very welcome! it makes me so happy to know you enjoyed it 🥰 I love all the requests you send in, so I really hope you like this one too 💕

Property of Rachel Green (Rachel Green x gn reader)

Warnings: jealous/possessive Rachel, not explicit smut but there's definitely suggestive elements involved, hickeys/marking kink

Rachel scowled as she watched you chat with one of your coworkers by the counter in Central Perk. She crossed her arms and slumped down further in her spot on the couch, trying to ignore the tight feeling of jealousy that was currently constricting her chest.

She made mocking mumbles under her breath at your coworker's responses whenever she heard them speak until Monica finally interjected. "If you're so upset by what's going on, why don't you go over there and do something about it?"

The blonde perked up at the idea immediately. "You know what, Mon, that's a great idea. I'm gonna go do just that." She got up from the couch, carefully smoothing out the fabric of her outfit and adjusting her hair until she heard Monica speak again. "Oh, for God's sake, Rachel, you look fine. Now, just go over there already."

Nodding at her words, she quickly made her way over to where you were still speaking with your coworker, someone who was absolutely gorgeous if Rachel did say so herself. Not quite as gorgeous as she was, naturally, but still, with you talking to them for so long she obviously had reason to be upset.

Much to her delight, you wrapped an arm around her waist immediately, tugging her in closer before turning to give her a kiss on the cheek. "Hi, honey," she cooed in delight at the show of affection, shooting your coworker a subtle nasty look.

"Hey, sweetheart. How's it going?" You seemed oblivious to what was going on, and it seemed to her as if you were completely unaware of the envy lurking just beneath her sickeningly sweet surface.

"Well, it's certainly going even better now that you're here." Her voice was a low purr when she spoke, and she punctuated her statement by leaning in to give you a kiss, which you accepted gladly. "I saved you a seat," she added while gesturing back to the couch behind her, a not-so-subtle way of stating that she didn't want you ignoring her any longer for some other random person, whether you worked with them or not.

You picked up what she was trying to get across immediately. "It was nice talking to you. I'll see you tomorrow," you politely excused yourself from the conversation before allowing your girlfriend to tug you back in the direction of the friend group's usual spot.

Despite knowing you were referring to when you'd see them at work the next day, Rachel still rolled her eyes at your words. See you tomorrow. Yeah, and when they did they were going to know even further you were already taken for, that much was sure.

She spent that entire night having round after round of sex with you. You weren't quite sure what had gotten into her that had her begging for more even after you'd already finished a round, but you weren't exactly complaining about it.

The next day, you struggled to find a shirt that had a collar high up enough that would help to hide all the hickeys she'd left behind on your neck. "Here, sweetie. Why don't you wear this one?" She suggested with a sweet smile.

Of course you took her advice, giving her an appreciative kiss as you went to go put it on. She smirked as she watched you, having spritzed the shirt with some of her perfume so you'd smell like her and be reminded of her all throughout the day (hopefully it would remind your coworkers of her, too, especially the one you bumped into at the coffee shop).

Stil unaware of her plan, you continued with getting ready for the day while she sat scheming. There had to be something else she could do to let them know that you were hers. And then it hit her.

The passionate kiss she pulled you in for right as you were about to leave was thankfully distracting enough for her to be able to tape a sign to your back without you knowing- not one that said "Kick Me", but one that had "Property of Rachel Green" written on it instead. She could only imagine the reactions your coworkers would have when they saw it.

And if you happened to return from work a teensy bit frustrated with her for putting it there in the first place, let's just say she already had a few plans on how to calm you back down again.

End notes: do I already have an idea for a part two for this? maybe 🤭

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[neptunezo]

jayroy is so monica and chandler coded omg

Jason and Monica are lowkey both neat and control freaks (obviously more Monica) and both feel under appreciated by their parents. They both discover who they are and learn to love and accept themselves of course with the help of their silly sarcastic boyfriend who just happens to be their older brother’s best friend. Roy and Chandler, 1, have had past addiction issues (chandler and his smoking, not matthew perry, rip) but both choosing to right their addictions. 2, Both use to be in a band *teehee* and 3, both want love but find it hard and have bad luck.

plus you’d get the iconic scene:

Dick: MY BEST FRIEND AND MY BROTHER?!?

Roy: Look we aren’t just messing around, I love him

Jason: I love him too

(super sappy looks between the two)

Dick: my best friend and my brother!!!!

AND ALSO THE “I am not high maintenance” SCENE IS ABSOLUTELY JAYROY and little parts of my heart smile

[kandyzee]

So gonna be ranting about this mf on twitter

Major Ian gallagher defence coming.

OKAH FIRST Ian 100% deserves mickey the same way mickey deserves Ian. When mickey is first introduced he is a homophobic closet case with no support system by the end of the show he is happily married to his fucking high-school sweetheart with his own apartment in a nice area and he has his own business. HE HAS ALL OF THAT BECAUSE OF IAN. Ian became mickeys support system and was always pushing him to become a better person. He shows mickey that he's not 'fucked for life' and he trys his hardest to protect him. Even if the way Ian did it , he got mickey to come out. Mickey needed that push. U think he would have come out if he didn't have someone he loves telling him to?

Now the cheating. The only time Ian cheats on mickey is during his manic episode in s4/5 AND HE GOT HELP AFTER. It's crazy to me that people don't think Ian regrets that and seriously use it as a reason to hate Ian. U better hate fiona and Debbie and Lip too. Yk what better hate mickey too cause he did have a wife and boyfriend (this is a joke don't kill me)

Ian not signing the marriage papers is upsetting but it's not hard to understand why he did it. Ian grew up around frank and Monica , his main representation of marriage is an absolute shit show. He's scared of turning his relationship with the man he loves into that. This is an expected fear from Ian given his worries about being like his mum. He doesn't want to complicate things. And he talks to mickey about this. Ian not signing isn't him being horrible it's his way of trying to protect mickey from himself because he loves mick.

And Ian is always trying to protect mickey, he backs him up in fights, when mickey breaks out of prison he doesn't go to the cops, he breaks up with mickey when he thinks their relationship is hurting him, he tells lip "hit my husband again and I'll fucking kill you". CLEARLY PROTECTIVE.

I don't have ss but mf was also like "Ian laughs at mickey being raped" so talking about that now.

The first time Ian "laughs at him" is in s3 when he tries to talk to mickey right after it happens. I don't think it takes a genius to know that Ian was trying to lighten the mood, not laugh AT mickey. He was also traumatised when Terry catching them happened. He laughs nervously because he has no clue how to navigate a situation like that at such a young age. He's a child making a badly timed, uncomfortable joke because he watched something terrible happen.

The second time Ian does this is with Caleb. During his relationship with caleb, Ian tries to convince himself that mickey was bad for him a few times. Making yourself hate someone is a lot easier than accepting the fact that they are gone. He shouldn't be telling someone he basically just met about that, but in his defence, he's talking about something he probably feels happened to him as well. Ian is affected by all that happened with mickey, and it makes sense that he tells people. In the same way, it would make sense for svetlana to tell people about the day it does for Ian too. All 3 are victims of Terry. Ian also has people telling him how bad mickey is all the time (mainly fiona tbh what if her problem with the milkovichs ) so he's trying to believe that, a easy way to do that is get validation from someone who hasn't been been around mickey. Caleb has never met mick, he has no reason to try defend him. I also don't really think what Ian was saying was making fun of mickey, it's not nice but yk?

This is getting long omg

On him being ugly

UGLY?!?!?

Cameron monaghan is GORGEOUS. He is the definition of cutie pie AND fine as fuck.

When mickey punches Ian because he didn't sign the marriage papers, HE DID NOT HAVE IT COMING. No one deserves to be hit by their partner. I mean, Jesus crist mickey literally broke his leg. His is probably the worst aspect of their relationship by that I mean the violence. A lot of it is playful, but it's not always healthy. Mickey was understandably upset but he shouldn't have hit Ian.

Okayyy now the hall of shame stuff. To me, that shit doesn't count cause Ian and mickey both act kinda out of character. I really don't like Ian saying that, and he shouldn't, but it's hardly a reason for Ian not to deserve mick. 87% is still the majority of his heart, and Ian wasn't saying he doesn't love mickey. Also acting like mickey hasn't said worst things.

"Ur nothing but a warm mouth to me"

"better than going off and having another bipolar episode"

LAST THING. Yes, mickey sacrifices a lot for Ian, like when he goes to prison for him, but not everyone shows love through large reckless actions. You shouldn't expect Ian to give things up to prove he loves mickey. Sacrifice isn't the only way to show affection. U can do it through words or gifts or quality time. Ian shows his love a lot through words, like when he tells mickey, "we have nothing to be ashamed of" early as s2. He makes him feel better when mickey is scared he would be a bad dad.

Ian gallagher haters are DUMB . Some people shouldn't be allowed to watch shameless cause how can u be so small-minded. People who say 1 of them doesn't deserve the other are just aggravating. Gallavich has a lot of ups and downs, and its part of what makes them so appealing. Despite all the bad things they go through, they always love and fight for each other.

Rant over

[alien-til-i-stage]

Odd thought.

But, Inna and Sebastian (new Alnst OC, for season40) semi-friendship??? (Slips friendship card to you)

I can see Seb tolerating Inna. And then just getting used to how he is, and such. I dunno, I just think that they'll have an interesting dynamic

OMG YEAH!!! Inna would try to befriend Sebastion often! Maybe inviting him to come and hang out with his other friends like Monica ( @nottoonedin ) and Toki ( @z3r0styrant )!!!

Maybe at first Seb just ignores or flat out ignores Inna, but as Inna keeps inviting Seb to come play with everyone, maybe eventually Seb would warm up to him one day!

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

Have you seen Impeachment: American Crime Story? The show about Bill Clinton’s affair with Monica Lewinsky. Well, I was young in 1998 so I didn’t know a lot of details about Bill Clinton’s affair with Monica Lewinsky until I watched the show.

Honestly, while watching the show I was reminded of reporting in the royal world as there many parts of the show about journalists getting scoops, sources, catching someone in an affair, men’s bad behavior, etc. Andrew Morton even helped write Monica’s book, same as Diana.

My realizations:

1.) the people who worked to catch Bill Clinton dis jr because they thought they were doing it for the greater good. i think in some ways they thought it was their form of activism. It made me realize that a lot of journalists in the royal watching world probably feel like this as well and that’s why they go after William and Kate

2.) the scandal was so scandalous omg. It certainly made tampongate look tame. It makes me wonder why Charles and Camilla still get made fun of a lot these days and I hardly see anyone go after Bill Clinton anymore (might just be my algorithm)

3.) the journalists or the royal rota are so weak now. I wish if William was cheating, someone would commit a crime like secretly recording his conversations with the mistresses where he admits to the affair to get evidence. This, plus tampongate, shows me that the best way to expose an affair is by secretly recording lol.

It’s actually funny that anon said they became further convinced an affair is possible because Kate went home from the hospital unseen. That’s funny because it’s actually obvious. We don’t see them everyday. Of course they can move without being seen. Like obviously we wouldn’t catch William in the many many rooms of Houghton Hall where his secret rendezvous with the Marchioness probably is. ( Jk, don’t actually think this is what happens. Tbh I just said that to make that anon even more paranoid lol). Obviously their friends won’t talk. The rota said they searched for evidence but tbh theh probably didn’t work hard enough lol.

1 - Makes sense. I disagree slightly that they thought it was for the greater good - my political leaning and some additional reading I've done makes me see it more for the political activisim. On the one hand, yes, if Clinton (and any president) was abusing the privileges of his office, then absolutely, it should be investigated and it should be properly dealt with - as it was with the impeachment trial. But the investigation also did become a bit of a witch hunt by some of the people involved in the investigations, which made it feel more like partisan activism and ultimately hurt the actual impeachment.

I won't go much further because then we start getting into politics, but if you're interested, some things to check out:

Burning Down the House by Julian Zelizer

The Clinton Affair (2018 docuseries - available on Apple TV and most other streaming platforms)

the Monica Lewinsky chapter in The Rulebreaker by Susan Page (Barbara Walters' biography)

2 - No one goes after Bill Clinton anymore because he's not in the news anymore. He's a US statesman elder now so he gets trotted out every 4 years for the election and the inauguration, then he goes back into semi-retirement.

Also, Monica herself doesn't talk about the affair very much anymore either, which has helped "cancel" the story from the public consciousness when Bill Clinton makes a public appearance.

3- It's not that the journalists or the rota are weak now; it's that privacy and security standards have changed so much that it's harder for them to have that kind of access to infiltrate the inner royal circle. William especially is aware that all kinds of people are interested in his private conversations and would leap at the chance to hack his phone or his email (look no further than the hacking of Kate's medical records) so he absolutely safeguards everything as much as possible, with unlisted numbers, multi-factor authentication, strict password protocols, and a strict vetting of everyone they give their contact info to. If they even give their real contact information out in the first place.

Also, another anon - I think it was on another site entirely - said that the only reason the rota had that kind of access back in the '90s to hack the royal circle's phones was because Diana gave them the phone numbers in the first place. No idea if it's true or not, I'm just passing on what I read.

Edit: Diana giving the press the phone numbers has been confirmed true. Here’s the link: https://www.reuters.com/article/business/princess-diana-leaked-royal-directories-to-murdoch-tabloid-court-hears-idUSL6N0MA43E/

Thanks, @and-the-void-looked-back!

It’s actually funny that anon said they became further convinced an affair is possible because Kate went home from the hospital unseen.

That's not what the anon said. They said that because Kate went home from the hospital unseen, they're more convinced that William's cheating/affairs could be kept entirely private/out of public attention if he ever did cheat.

[unhingedmarvelandclassicwhobuff]

If there’s anything we can agree on, it’s that Wanda maximoff was majorly screwed over in terms of character writing

Absolutely. As much as I adore Wanda, I paradoxically don't think any of her appearances were done well.

Age of Ultron comes pretty close by actually letting her nobility shine through and letting her call out Tony, but it falls short by not making it crystal-clear that she was never loyal to Hydra, and by not showing her react to what she indirectly caused in Johannesburg.

I feel like I shouldn't have to explain why I hate what's done with her in Civil War, but I'll do it anyway:

- the movie and the audience alike blame her for the casualties in Lagos instead of, y'know, the Hydra agent who actually set off the bomb - she isn't allowed to speak up when Tony starts condescendingly going "um, you all need to understand that people die in carnage 🤓" as if her fucking brother wasn't murdered by his creation, nor is she allowed to have any opinion at all on the document that will legally declare her a sub-human - Despite the movie trying to say she'd have to think about signing the Accords rather than instantly saying no like she really would, Tony goes over her head and kicks her off the Avengers roster and imprisons her so Ross can have an easier time getting her when he decides that she needs to be disposed of because it's now legal to do that to an Enhanced that you so much as suspect might be a threat. - For some reason people think SHE'S the one in the wrong when she subdues Vision (which literally makes her cry) in order to escape from Tony. - She gets blamed by the movie itself for Rhodey's injury (Vision saying he was "distracted" when he fired. What else could that mean?), most likely in order to make you think "serves that bitch right" when Tony sees her being tortured on the Raft and has zero reaction.

Infinity War probably comes the closest to being a good depiction of her, despite the fact that the Russo Brothers either couldn't care less about her, or outright dislike her for daring to have beef with Tony, who they worship. With that being said, her horrible sacrifice and subsequent nullification of it, as torturous as it is to watch, is legitimately good storytelling. Now if only the movie didn't try with zero irony to say that Thanos murdering Gamora was the same thing.

Her two minutes in Endgame are... fine, I guess. Her absolutely wiping the floor with Thanos is cool, but it's emotionally hollow because it's not the Thanos that took Vision from her. Also, the scene has been ruined for me by the official YouTube clip being flooded with comments going "OMG, this was such a great passing of the torch between the two biggest MCU villains." Like, fuck you! I guess I'm grateful that the laughably tone-deaf scene where everyone kneels before Tony's corpse was cut, because he directly harmed many of the people there, Wanda most of all. And then she never gets to learn that Tony's insistence against rewinding time is the reason Vision is gone for good.

WandaVision is supposed to be her big time in the spotlight. And it is... but it's still not worthy of her. Setting aside how annoying it was that no one was interested in Wanda at all while the show was being released and were only interested in how the series could be used as a vehicle to introduce stuff like mutants, the series made a massive error in prioritizing audience intrigue over character consistency. What do I mean by that? Well, pure and simple, the Wanda Maximoff I know and love would never, and I mean NEVER, be complicit in the enslavement and torture of 4,000 people (many of whom are children). And the show itself seems to agree with me, as the final few episodes make it crystal-clear she had no idea how this started or what the Hex was doing to anyone. There's just one problem with that; the majority of the show was implying she knew she was in full control (all those time resets, her throwing Monica out, her whole argument with Vision, her expanding the Hex). Clearly these moments were meant to keep the audience guessing as to what was really happening, but the result was Wanda being insanely out of character, and the show itself highlights that. So yeah, if Elizabeth Olsen wasn't so proud of the show, I would write it off completely despite how much I loved certain parts of it (mostly just the final two episodes for actually letting her be the hero she really is).

I have no kind words whatsoever for Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness. Fuck that movie. And fuck Marvel for letting Sam Raimi and Michael Waldron turn Wanda into a one-note slasher villain and making her many many haters feel validated. The fact that it was sheer incompetence that led to this and not open malice is honestly even worse, because that's how little this character is valued.

So yeah, while I love everything about Wanda as a person, she's way too good for any of the projects she appears in, and if I had my way I'd pluck her out of the MCU and put her in a universe where she can truly be loved and valued like she deserves to be (with her permission of course).

[for-ships-that-never-sail]

Okay Y'ALL I saw Episode 5 today and these are the thoughts I jotted down while watching it (PART 1 OF 2)

Please don’t read below the cut if you are avoiding spoilers until you get to watch it yourself 

And FYI some of these may not have any context, but I guess it won’t matter cause you’ll have context in 7ish hours anyway (also sorry about how long all my thoughts and feelings are lol)

We’ve all seen the first 4 mins so that’s that - nothing extra special to add there other than that Colin’s soft voice for Pen feels like it makes my heart grow bigger every time I see it

Um what the absolute fuck was that opening title??? Have they deviated and changed that this much before?? Have I never noticed other than with the very small changes they do with adding the correct Bridgerton’s name etc?

Anthony wanting to do that one Monica scream is adorbs

LOLLLLL I love you sweet Greggy

LMAO Cressida with them BARBS

Awh Cressida I do feel for you my girl

OMFGGGGG Colin’s chat with the boys??? THIS IS MUSIC TO MY EARS!!!! SOMEONE STAB ME IN THE HEART AAAAH

And Anthony with that quick wisdom? Is it rude of me to not really have expected it from him even though I know this kind of good sense is in him? I do love you Ant! Sorry that I still think of you as SLOW to good sense because of last season lol

Also that cute and private GOSSIPY moment? LOVEEE

OH PORTIA FOR FUCKS SAKEEEEE WITH “THOSE EXACT WORDS” why are you stressing her out but also why are you STRESSING ME OUT?

BAHAHAHAHAHHSSHHAHAHASHA THAT IMMEDIATE 360 please stopppppp I have whiplash - this show has never presented something I personally see as a legitimate concern (from the character's perspective) and then proceed to resolve that issue soooo fucking fast, like that took two seconds PLEASE I’m dying, I can’t believe I thought I’d be stressed about that comment for a considerable amount of the episode? and then BAM 😂 Excellent job Colin!

For the love of god no one wants to chaperone them???? They’re just gonna go???? No one is gonna stop them? Like is she the John Cena of the Bridgerton universe?? Everyone is just like, oh look, Colin walking down the street speaking to himself, oh look he’s in a carriage, also just speaking to himself - like H'WHAT?

Having that said, yes of course get her alone and fuck her by all means if that’s what you wanna do, don’t let my hang ups about propriety and the rules of the ton stop you my boy

Omg pen my baby was so moved 🥹 She somehow hadn’t processed that whole thing even during the carriage ride? Because unless they teleported, she was just like reeling in silence until this point, just like, looking for the words???

Oh my god OH MY GOD OH MY GOD there you go Portia my mans was as clear as he could be about the exact words both indirectly and directly thank you very much

Omg STAHPPPP I can’t Col you should totally write her love letters saying this type of stuff every day - it’s what she deserves 🥹

Omg they’re so cute???!!!

Consent king!! This is so INTIMATE and CUTE!!! 🥹

Have I never seen tits bigger than like a 32B on Netflix before? Cute lil perky tits never really get registered as out there nudity I guess? Like I knowwww we saw tits the last two seasons, and I guess at the brothels this season too, which I nearly forgot, but like even 0.6 seconds of Pens tits rn feels like I’m on HBO and not Netflix? LOLLL

NO ONE HAS EVER REMOVED A BELT BETTER THAN LUKE NEWTON HAS

FUCK he’s so hot??? I’m probably equally attracted to both actors irl tbh but in the showverse Pen is just my girly and Colin was just my sweet boi too right up until he started undressing rn? Now pen is still my girly but Colin can fucking get ittttt LOLLL

Also we’ve seen him undressed before??? I don’t know what’s going on but he did the 0.0003 second belt thing and I audibly gasped and my brain suddenly went blank and now I’m just drooling over Colin and how hot he is fml

Luke Newton should probably just go around taking his shirts and belts off all the time tbh

Just in real life, stay undressing king, you’re such a treat 😍

Awh he’s got the cutest lil butt, but like…. I can’t look? I’m feeling an odd amount of… second hand embarrassment about his butt? I don’t know if that makes any sense but somehow it feels wrong to be looking at your butt Colin I’m sorry this is just like Pen’s property now you know? I shouldn’t seeeee this lol

Kinda wish they edited out that tiny bit where he moved the sheet? I assume that was for the sake of the actors/show because they can’t actually be like fully naked out here, but that tiny bit could’ve been easily edited a different way - only because I don’t want it to register like he’s covering her up? He’s not, he 100% would NEVER, but like logistically I get it, just wish the editor saw it the way I see it and took that bit out

oop JUMP SCARE Lmfaooooo my mans thought it would end before it even began 😂😂😂

Awh he’s so sweet with her - Touch me anywhere? Please they are really taking on such great parts from the books

Though on a side note I wish that this mirror idea was broken into 2 parts too? like part 1 he just says the lines from the books about wanting to grab her tits and fuck in front of a mirror but they don’t because he wants that gentle missionary first time, and then part 2 after the LW drama he actually passionately fucks her in front of the mirror, horizontally sure, but like from behind while facing the mirror? That's such an easy way to cover her up too - one arm coming from under her, wrapped around her bust to cover her there, and other arm coming over her and snaking down her belly so we know there is finger action but Nic would still be tastefully covered - this allows them to just stare at each other through the mirror the entire time which could have been sooooo hot? And I wouldn't have to suspend disbelief when it comes to her tits not touching any part of him through this whole thing lol - It’s aight though, this is what AO3 is for and I’m by no means disappointed with anything that’s happening rn

Still, circling back, is it like an actor/show rule to just show tits and not do anything else with them? Because I knowwww Colin isn’t gonna just fuck her without sucking on them titties that whole entire time, like please BE REAL for just ONE second, cause there’s absolutely nooooo way his hands and mouth wouldn’t be directly on those tits - but yeah, if it’s an actor/show thing to not do it because it might be too porny/uncomfy, I get it - I’m just looking for that realism because come onnnn there’s literally NO WAY his mouth wouldn’t be all over that LOL

Like even with their vertically challenging situation, I know my mans would fold his neck his back his spine his evvvverryyything to get his face on her tits LOLLLL

Also, sir? Everyone enjoyed your fingers but when are you going to eat my girl out? Please she deserves to see God???!!!!!

Never underestimate the power of grabbing your own dick to get it in either, it's just so fucking hot and I don’t make these rules

I personally think the carriage scene was A LOTTT spicier than this though

Sorry guys, don’t be upset or anything - I just think THAT was PASSION and THIS is LOVE

Slow and settled love - best friend love - honestly it’s how I see couples being intimate once their honeymoon phase is long over - just like, chit chatting while gentle fucking - super comfortable with each other and just not awkward at all - contently smiling and giggling afterwards, like that was all just totally normal everyday behaviour between them

It’s like they’re having a casual bestie moment, just the same as walking around in a market or gossiping in a ballroom

When you really think on it though, it’s so cool that a first time can be this way because you’ve just been best friends your whole life

Anyway, no furniture break I’m afraid

[madam-o]

Omg awesome! The Beetlejuice Beetlejuice trailer is out now! It looks GREAT. Love the practical effects. Keaton stepped right back into that role like no time has passed at all! Adore the rest of the cast and the costumes. Burton always has to have a sexy goth dream woman in his movies, and Monica Belluci looks Uh. May. Zing.

Oooh, Beej is working as an "Afterlife Care Manager". Looks like he may have taken over Juno's job. Oh look, he's got a pic on his desk of Lydia as a 16 year-old. Looks like it's time for more pro vs anti ship wars. Hooray.

Oh wow, would I love to not talk about this again, but I just gotta. I'm a big mouth every now and then. I dislike angry fandom discourse that much.

First off, to the pro-shippers, I'd like to remind you that Movie Beej's emotional interest in Lydia has always been portrayed as creepy and weird. Also I think we have to remember his primary motivation for marrying her is likely to escape the Afterlife and his (likely many) enemies, such as his first wife. Lydia is rightfully scared about him being released based on how he terrorized her family in the original movie, so I doubt she's into it.

To the antis, I'll just point out that Beetlejuice has always been portrayed as a "lovable" antagonist. He's threatening, but he's a big goofy doofus at the same time. He wants to make people like him, but he's terrible at doing it. Also, his lies are very transparent. He's a cartoonish, sleazy con-man. When he's wooing Lydia it comes off as insincere and humorous. I think we're supposed to find him inappropriate for her, but not truly predatory. His motivations are for selfish gain and not seriously romantic in nature. And if he IS serious about her, I don't think WE'RE supposed to take his crush seriously.

Basically what I'm saying is, Beetlejuice has never taken itself seriously, so we shouldn't expect it to give us any solid shipping proof or disproof. This property has always been cartoonish in nature. Getting up in arms and screaming about how certain ships are only for pedophiles is as ridiculous as expecting the sequel to give us real Beetlebabes content instead of, say, Beej ending up flat on his face or in Dead Jail again.

Personally I think he'll escape any danger to leave the door open for more movies, but I'll be genuinely surprised if he and Lydia are paired up romantically in the movie canon. But this hardly matters as canon has very little to do with shipping.

[mandy4ever69420]

1. idk how many people process mickeys unwillingness to tell anyone or describe ian's symptoms as a form of protection but it's so swag. Like straight up no it is embarrassing to have your business out like that even if it's family. also how his mouth was SHUT while everyone was explaining ian's symptoms to those like. military cop whoeverthefucks 👍

2. mickey being like one of two people to comment that lips construction job was probably for a gentrification business. hm. anyway it's cool how easy he finds it to manipulate lip into wanting his approval and then also deny lip his approval for not blasting the fuck out of that cafe.

3. like i know that "gay and homophobic" is a joke but i think it's missing a big piece of context that the vast majority of the time when mickey is violent towards gay men it's in more or less direct response to him or ian being sexually harassed -> ned / macy's bitch / i'm not the one licking and groping on underage boys huh / dude not taking no for an answer after telling mickey ian left with someone else.

a) and walking into a straight bar and being a bitch non violently to a woman who also won't take no for an answer. bc of different ideas about how women are which btw are misogynistic but in a way that's not that big a deal.

so frustrating to me that people can't understand that mickeys pimp plot Wasn't really misogynistic bc it makes it harder to point out how he Does interact with misogyny eg he can't understand that women can be perpetrators or thinks maybe they inherently need protection. not too extreme a case of this even bc he also knows how to back off. more complicated bc tbh it is obligation to protect marginalized people that you love. see: mandy in s1.

so funny to me when people take mickey being into redheads as a character trait instead of him just saying he's already in love with someone

4. mickeys learning of ian's porno is like. so good. also owie

a) ian and the audience are aware mickey literally doesn't Care abt screwing other guys if it's for Money.

b) mickeys pivot from being hurt to being worried about ian's safety. Yeah it IS true that walking off with some random bitch who says he'll pay for porn is a terrible idea.

c) they don't actually discuss ian cheating (cheating-cheating, not for money but because of hyper sexuality) but i assume mickey put 2 and 2 together with how rash ian's decision making was.

d) thankyou mickey for having the right priorities about condom usage and health before "omg porn is BAD". i know you're mickey but i have the internet and people are so annoying about this kind of thing

e) i really like that ian called mickey psycho. it's like so good. i mean not the terminology i'd ever use but i know how these characters vocabulary's work so like dramatic irony. well not dramatic irony the definitions not right. it's close to that.

5. again like ian taking yevgeny as a reaction to "oh people think i'm like monica you know what monica would never do??? take her kid with her!!". probably also the most touched i am in any episode about shameless' portrayal of bipolar bc kidnapping is some shit that universally is agreed not fucking cool && is in fact indeed often done by a loved one in crisis && at that you dont usually get a sympathetic look at it. i think the only other media offering smth like that is wolf 359 whose finale im still so so mad at so angry. anyway i looove being asked to and genuinely moved by sympathy for someone doing something it'd also make sense to never forgive them for. 👍

[mother-of-houseplants-2]

So you know you're beautiful stunning gorgeous incredible impeccable fic where fiona dearest into a toddler?

How about, how about! She deages into a teen!!!!

And like it's so much worse for them

Because they see the Fiona who always seemed larger than life is actually just a fucking child. Lip wants to turn around and yell only to come to face to face with a child and realise that she shouldn't even be here and that she should be away from all this mess

They all see how smart, how beautiful, how handy she is and they all wanna cry because their big sister could have gone so far had it not been for Monica and frank

OMG this is such a devastating idea!!! putting all my thoughts about this amazing idea under the cut because they got too long lol

the kids seeing fiona at thirteen, tiny and wide-eyed and determined, just a little girl really, off to the first of her three shitty after-school jobs … when at her age they were playing in the pool, hanging out with their friends, crawling into her bed at night when they couldn’t sleep.

fiona at fourteen, when monica came back for a month or two, waking up at five every morning to run for track, acing all her classes, wearing lip gloss that doesn’t suit her and writing in her diary because she’s trying to learn how to be a kid. the kids realizing that she only got to have this for a few short weeks before their parents left and reality set back in.

fiona at sixteen, pale and skinny and exhausted, a high school dropout juggling four jobs to keep the kids fed and warm and cared for. crying in the bathroom for a minute before one of the kids needs her help in the living room so she puts on a brave face and a smile and heads back out.

lip yelling at fiona for something and then freezing when he realizes she’s only a little girl pretending to be brave, wide-eyed and shaking. remembering how she used to be his whole world, all-powerful and braver than anything, when really she was so damn terrified and so damn small.

debbie getting upset when fiona reads her stuff about wanting to lose her virginity without deb’s permission, only to feel sick to her stomach when fiona reveals she’s been having sex with older people since she was a middle schooler, and that everything she saw her big sister do growing up wasn’t meant to be idolized at all, but were the results of a deeply traumatic upbringing.

UGH this is so sad … i must resist the urge to write this as a short spin-off lest it consume me …

thank you so much for the ask!!!