#omg everything is beautiful now. mentally i'm here

[jorgecrespo]

no but waterloo sunset's fine, it really is

[yeuxdebiche]

Positive affirmation does not work on me. When my life hit rock bottom, and even now when I am having a bad mental health days, the whole "things will get better" only makes me angrier. I would much rather hear "yeah bro, you're a train wreck but hey it's okay to be a train wreck I still like you" rather than "nooo you're not a failure and everything is going to be okay." When I say I am fat, I would react way better to "you are but that's okay" rather than the classic "omg no you're not you're beautiful the way you are" ( y the fuck u lying? Y u always lying? Hmmmmoh my goddd )

Loser, baby put me in such a good mood. It's insane to me that the message people got from it was "suck it up we all have problems" rather than "You are not alone and I'm here for you bro." It's exactly what someone like me would have needed to hear at my worst. To know that someone accepts you for who you are, even if you're being a complete disaster is so alleviating for some of us.

[runningfrom2am]

requiem // part six

summary: according to coriolanus snow, his best friend had the most beautiful voice in all of panem. she had been training her whole life constantly to get where she was; being up for a residency at the most elite opera house in all of panem. singing was her passion. her true love; and when that got stripped from her in a second, his world became a whole lot quieter. he loathed every minute of it.

pairing: coriolanus snow x fem!reader

wc: 2.6k

masterlists / nav / requests

tags/warnings: opera singer!mentor!reader (blink and you'll miss it), she's kind of a prodigy!! p cool imo, mute!reader, bestfriend!coryo, friends to lovers trope ooo, mentions of graphic violence early on (particularly the prologue) but after that it's pretty safe, depictions of ptsd/trauma, mental illness and minor suicidal ideation but at least she's not entirely alone, descriptions of minor medical treatments and use of medication.

a/n: omg hi i am finally back with a new part for this series!! kind of a filler but idk i still think it's cute :) enjoy!

also, reminder to follow @runningfrom2am-library and turn on my notifications there to join my taglist for this series!!

my asks are also open to talk about this series! (i do have emoji anons open now too!)

send me any and all of your thoughts! here!

series masterlist // playlist // pinterest board

two years earlier

"So, I'm thinking balloons over the whole ceiling of the foyer, gold and red- thoughts?" Your mother asks as you enter the threshold of your family's lake house.

"You say that like you haven't already ordered everything." You giggle in response, footsteps echoing across the tile as you step off the carpet of the grand entryway.

It was less of a "house" and more of a mansion, in Coriolanus' opinion.

He had been here countless times throughout the years and sporadically would spend the weekends here with you and your parents when you didn't want to be "bored" and "lonely" on the large lakefront property. Poor you, he always thought sarcastically, but would never voice it.

Regardless, he loved getting to come out here with you in the summers and occasionally for a day or two over the holidays when you could skate on the frozen lake. You had taught him how yourself, holding onto his hands at nine years old and skating backward in front of him while he channeled the look of a baby deer taking its first steps. Your little laugh and small words of encouragement were the only thing that kept him upright- most of the time.

But this time, it was summer, and he had been looking forward to this weekend for weeks. Not because he was all that excited about seeing your classmates who he had needed just as much of a break from as his studies, but more so because it was your birthday. Or, close enough to it.

Your sixteenth birthday, more specifically, and your parents were pulling out all the stops. Thus the balloons and your family's staff running around like their lives depended on it to get everything ready for the early afternoon when all the other guests would be arriving to stay for the night and the following morning.

"Okay, well, yes, I did, but I knew you would like it so it's fine." Your mother insists and you look over at Coryo, rolling your eyes behind her back. She was right, you didn't mind the red and gold, but it was no surprise you didn't have any say in the planning of your own birthday party. It was more for your parents than it was for you, anyway. More for the reputation of your family name, although, you didn't doubt that it would be fun.

"Come on." You whisper to your best friend, gently tugging on his shirt to pull him upstairs.

"Mom, we're going upstairs until the others get here!" You call over your shoulder, already running up the staircase.

"Yes, yes, I'll send someone for you when everything's ready. Just shout if you get hungry." She agrees mindlessly, already putting down bags of last-minute snacks you had picked up on the way.

"Thank you!" Coryo adds in as well as you pull him along.

She laughs softly and shakes her head. "Of course, Coriolanus. You kids have fun. Oh, and go ahead and leave your overnight stuff just in the sitting room upstairs!"

When your other classmates who were able to make the hour-long trip finally all made it out to the beach house, it quickly became bustling with life. The large floor-to-roof windows that spanned both stories of the home were pulled open completely, opening it out to the porch, the pool, and the lakefront. The music was loud, and your parents had set up every screen and projector on the property, inside and out, playing home videos of you when you were growing up. Most featured your performances, and you loved those, but your favourites were of you and your friends.

Coriolanus was a star in your home videos, undeniably. Some of the girls from your class were sitting on the back porch with virgin cocktails your parents' staff had made, pointing out themselves in clips from school events and previous birthday parties and laughing at their younger selves.

Laying on the dock next to Coryo and Clemmie, you were laughing at the boys at the other end of the dock trying to shove each other off when your father's boat pulled back up next to you and he cut the engine.

"You want to go next, bird?" He calls to you as Festus and Pup stumble out of the boat, drenched from head to toe and dripping all over you and your towels.

You look over at Coryo, smiling hopefully at him and he nods, getting up quickly while you make the same effort to get Clemmie to come with you. "Clemmie, come on. The tube fits three people well enough." You tell her as you get up, pulling at your bathing suit to make sure it is still fitting right.

"No, no. I'm good. My parents say that's a death trap, and I believe it." She chuckles, waving her hand dismissively. "I'll be here. You two have fun."

"Suit yourself." You shrug, taking your father's hand as he helps you onto the boat, and Sejanus Plinth, who was already onboard and apparently decided to just stay, hands you a life jacket which you quietly thank him for.

"Clemensia, it's perfectly safe. I'll even go slow for you." Your father offers her as you zip yours up, watching Coryo do the same. Weirdly enough, you can't help but notice it looks good on him. Just about anything does, though.

"No thank you, I'm just fine right here. I'm not the best swimmer as it is." Your friend replies gratefully. "I prefer land."

"Alright, then, but we'll be doing trips all afternoon if you change your mind." He tells her, going back to the helm of the small speed boat reserved specifically for your tubing and wakeboarding and starting the engine up again.

The boat starts moving and you go over to the ship's radio, clicking it on again and turning it up to hear the music better over the sounds of rushing water as he takes you out deeper on the lake.

Once you're satisfied with the volume and the song, you climb up to the front of the boat to sit next to the two boys who are waiting. You weren't sure what they were talking about, making small talk most likely, knowing the both of them, but regardless it stopped when you sat down.

You enjoy the music and the spray of fresh water on your skin for a couple of minutes until you're far enough from the shores to stop.

You and Coryo both get up with a fair bit of excitement, having always loved going tubing with your father behind the wheel of the boat every summer.

"Sejanus, are you coming?" You ask hopefully as you and your friend throw the large inflatable off the back of the boat and into the water, pulling the rope back so it's close enough to climb on.

He looks to your father, who nods encouragingly at him. He'd been on the boat for almost all of the afternoon but hadn't once actually got on the tube. It wasn't much of a secret that he wasn't very well-liked by other kids, but his parents had insisted that he attend your birthday, so he just decided to stay close to one of your parents.

"Um, okay. Sure." He replies quietly with a nervous nod.

Out of all of your classmates, he was the most comfortable with the two of you- being among some of the only kids who hadn't been mean to him in the past.

"Hold on tight." Your father tells him as you and Coryo get situated, laying on your stomachs next to each other and holding onto the handles by your heads and leaving enough room for Sejanus on your other side. "These two are professionals, I don't hold back like with the other kids." He says teasingly, giving you a knowing look.

He climbs on next to you while you hold onto the back of the boat for him, trying to keep it as steady as possible.

"Don't worry, it's gonna be fun." You say to him when you hear the motor start up again and you give your dad a thumbs up to start going.

"It does look like fun." Sejanus agrees quietly, and you can hardly hear him over the waves as the boat moves slowly away from you and the rope starts to unravel.

You turn to look at Coryo again, giving him a smile. "Here, let's switch handles." You suggest, letting go of one of yours and nudging his hand away from his to trade so your arms would overlap on the somewhat rough material that was known to give you both rug burns in the past. "That way we can keep each other on."

He nods, chuckling to himself as he complies, looping his hand under your handle and gripping on tight. "Yeah, we can definitely try."

You knew it wouldn't make much of a difference, but you liked the way his arm felt over yours; warm from the heat of the sun but somehow chilling you down to your bones.

The tube jerks to the right to catch up with the rope as your father's boat gets far enough away and begins to pull you, and you can feel Sejanus tense up beside you as you start to pick up speed.

"You gotta relax!" You call out to him over the rushing water, and he just looks at you with wide eyes as you continue straight for the time being. "Lean into it and you'll stay on easier!"

Sejanus didn't really listen. That much is clear when within a matter of minutes, hitting a corner and bouncing over the waves created by the boat, he tumbles right off the side.

You glance back over your shoulder to see that he's okay, but with the speed you're already moving and the turn your father makes to go back for him, that was a clear mistake.

You weren't paying attention when you hit the corner hard, swinging out behind the boat with the now uneven weight distribution, and before you know it the tube is flipping completely and rolling fast over the surface of the water.

Coryo hears you scream as you suddenly disappear from his side, which only makes it flip faster. He somehow holds on, but not without a blinding pain in his hand and up his arm as it gets caught in the handle that wasn't his, and then he's quickly surrounded by the blue of the lake as well.

You're giggling when your father circles back to you after helping Sejanus out of the water, and you can still see Coryo a ways away. You never realized how fast you were going until you both got thrown off, and you were usually very far away in the water.

Climbing up onto the boat and dripping wet, you pull the tube back up to the boat and hold on to the rope while your father steers you over to your friend, his blonde curls soaked and clinging to his forehead, almost completely covering his eyes.

"Coryo!" You call out as you get closer, laughing through your words. You get closer to the back ladder, prepared to help pull him out. He doesn't respond, though he's looking at you, and you realize quickly that he's ghostly pale- more so than usual, and he's clutching his hand to his chest. "Hey, you okay?" You ask, your smile fading quickly as you lean over the edge to reach for him.

He nods stiffly, and when he reaches out to take your hand, you notice that he's trembling.

"Are you hurt? What's wrong?" You ask, and you quickly hear your father's steps behind you.

"I- um..." You can tell as you try and help him up that he's embarrassed to admit that something's wrong- though he doesn't need to be.

"Dad?" You begin to ask for help, worry seeping into your tone, but he's already there. He gently nudges you out of the way and reaches into the water to pull Coryo out, which, is decently easy for him to do. He was always a skinny kid, and right now you were grateful for that.

"You okay, son? Let me see that." Your father says once Coryo gets his footing, still holding his hand close to his chest.

"You hurt your hand?" You ask when he doesn't move, just staring between you and your father with shock plastered all over his face.

He nods slightly, teeth chattering, and you hear that Sejanus must have turned down the music.

Your father gestures for him to show him his injured hand again, holding his own to take at it and look. "I'm not going to hurt you, I'm just going to take a look."

Coryo looks at you for a split second before looking away again, carefully holding his hand out for your father to look at.

Your father decided after that that maybe that wasn't the best activity to take other people's kids on while they were under his supervision. Secretly, it's a relief that Coryo was the one who got injured from it- he was closer with your family than anyone else, and there likely wouldn't be someone showing up at your door within the week to press charges over a broken thumb. You were still worried, though.

You made quick work upon returning to dry land of hurrying upstairs to your room with him, arm wrapped around his waist as your father tied up the boat. It was only his hand that was injured, but you had never in your life seen someone so pale- Coryo looked like he could collapse at any minute. 

"Someone's grabbing ice for it, just sit down on the bed and I'll get you some water." You say as you guide him to sit on your bed that sat against the corner of the large room, only mildly aware of the shake in your voice and the panic you were quickly descending into.

"I-I'm okay, it's really not that big of a deal..." Coryo mutters and you shake your head, about to leave when your mother walks in in a hurry.

"I brought some ice, darling." She says as she brushes past you to sit next to him and you stand clear out of the way. You needed to give her the space to be a mother and help- you knew that much.

You look around for Coryo's overnight bag while she helps hold the ice pack wrapped in a dish towel to his hand, but you can't find it anywhere. "Mom, we left Coryo's stuff in here this morning, did any of the staff touch it?" You ask, hoping to find him a shirt to cover his shivering skin. The shock, the air conditioning of the house while still dripping wet, and the ice pack were not a friendly combination.

"Oh, I had it moved to the sitting room." She points to the door and your brow furrows slightly.

All your friends who were spending the night were sleeping in the sitting room, and there were beds and a projector screen set up in there with snacks for movies and everything, but you and Coryo were supposed to stay in here when it was time to actually go to sleep. "What? Why? We're sleeping in here."

Your mother shrugs. "I don't know, honey, I just feel that it's time that you both have some of your own space."

What she means is 'I don't think it's appropriate for the two of you to share a bed anymore.'

You and Coryo look at each other, only briefly, and it's only safe to assume that you're both feeling the same thing.

You had never been in less of a rush to grow up, and to be forced to grow apart.

no taglist this time around!! my fics usually get over a hundred requests to be added to the taglist so instead i made a library! follow me over on @runningfrom2am-library and turn on notifs to get updates when i post new parts!!

[shellsinadune]

Harvey x Farmer playlist

I'm right because I said so. you may notice that a lot of these have sky themes, I love my not-pilot so much.

Things That Look Like Mistakes (Bears in Trees) - this is the song that led me to make this post. I imagine that Harvey has one of those 'always on' brains that just keep going, and the farmer can calm that down a bit. it's about not worrying for a second, despite the passage of time and getting closer to death.

Fly Me to the Moon (Frank Sinatra) - I'm so surprised people don't talk about this more. to me, this is The Harvey Song. it's jazz, it's about flying, it's a sweet love song. he likes this song, it's all but canon. there are probably more apt jazz songs for him, but I'm not that into jazz so if you have any recs...

Harvey (Pillow Queens) - I actually found this song through this post by shreddies-scribbles, and she's so correct. no explanation necessary.

Hey Lover (the Daughters of Eve) - Harvey thinks he's boring, and this song is about not caring about that. he's so sweet I'm losing my mind. 'true love and understanding for the rest of my days' is exactly what he'd give the farmer.

All You Get is Confetti (Bears in Trees) - this is actually more about the farmer, either pre-moving to the valley or early on when it's really tight financially. there's this exhaustion with life but the knowledge that they'll one day 'be everything to someone'. also 'I'm gonna die before you, it's the first race that I'll win' something something dying in the mines repeatedly.

Pierre and Natasha / the Great Comet of 1812 (Natasha, Pierre, and the Great Comet of 1812) - Pierre and Natasha reminds me of that Shane cutscene, and the Great Comet of 1812 is just a really beautiful image of someone looking at the sky while happy to be alive. something about the line 'I throw my fur coat on my shoulders, unable to find the sleeves' is so Harvey when it's performed live.

Honey, Honey (ABBA) - had a mental image of Harvey dancing around to ABBA. that's all.

Security (the Young Veins) - very similar to Hey Lover, with an added mention of not needing to have money. Harvey seems like someone who's always trying to prove that he deserves love, but the thing is he already does. he's stable and will love the farmer forever.

Heart of Mine (the Young Veins) - 'you should take this heart of mine, you'll always have that heart of mine'

I'm Just a Sidekick (Joey Richter / Starkid) - a song about saving someone you love's life after encountering something you wouldn't be able to fight yourself. I've already mentioned Harvey's low self esteem but this is literally so him. I mean he is strong and smart and all the things the song says he's not but I don't think he sees himself that way. 'I'm just a sidekick but I love being at your side' is such a malewife line, and we all know Harvey is the king of malewives.

Heaven Sent is a Coffee Cup (Bears in Trees) - something about the first few lines is so him. I can't fully articulate why I put this in here but I know I'm right. finding magic in the little things maybe?

Too Sweet (Hozier) - listen. I know. but I think this is another one of those songs where it's actually the farmer singing it. Harvey really is the sweetest person, and I think he does fit this song, just not in the way everyone says he does. That man is not a whiskey drinker, he's a port guy.

the Milkman of Human Kindness (Billy Bragg) - omg my favourite artist in a playlist I made. groundbreaking. but seriously Harvey just gives and gives to people, he cares so much for his community and the farmer. idk, this song just kind of has vibes of just now coming to a realisation about love.

I've Got a Crush on You (Ella Fitzgerald) - I started listening to jazz just for this playlist. the idea of choosing one specific person (who doesn't consider themself anything special) out of lots of options got to me, okay? the line 'it's not that you're attractive' made me laugh though.

[pardonmydelays]

clancy tour (watching a livestream) essay 🙏

anon, this question made me so unbelievably happy omg. i just can't get around to the eras tour essay, however, i do feel the need to write, so we're doing this instead.

for the context: i woke up at 5:30 today to watch the livestream of clancy LA show. no, i wasn't there in person. but mentally i was.

please, listen to this incredible playlist while you read my essay (no one's gonna read, it mark my words):

i have decided we will just go through the entire setlist. i don't want to make this too long but i wanna talk about EVERY. SINGLE. SONG. let's fucking go.

OVERCOMPENSATE

so this is when i started crying. who the fuck cries on overcompensate, you would ask... well, me, apparently. i honestly think this is the best opener for both, an album and a show. this song gives me so much serotonin i can't even explain it. i'm always worried about tyler tho because his entrance looks dangerous (the jump, the jump, I AM TALKING ABOUT THE JUMP!). nothing bad happened tho, thankfully. i also noticed he was wearing the other version of clancy jacket today, the one with the hood. not that it's important, but it kinda is. for me at least.

HOLDING ON TO YOU

ok, so if you know me you probably know this is my ultimate favourite twenty one pilots song. and the live performance is even better with the crowd stand at the beginning (i swear to god, it's so incredible to me how much trust tyler has for the clique), clancy mask and lightbulb mic (you can tell tyler has a lot of fun with it), and my favourite part - josh's piano backflip during the bridge of the song. fucking iconic. what's not to love.

VIGNETTE

first thing i want to talk about is the insane transition from holding on to you to vignette. honestly, all transitions are so fucking amazing on clancy tour, it's impressive. now, tyler's little dance during this song is one of the most adorable things i've ever seen (he is such a cat omg) and and and! NEIL BANGING OUT THE TUNES!!! i'll be honest with you, because of this part vignette became one of my favourite songs from clancy and definitely one of my faves from this tour.

CAR RADIO

another one of my favourites. car radio will always hold a very special place in my heart, it's so relatable to me. it makes me so happy that we have a chance to see it being performed in clancy costume (and clancy mask!!!). and when tyler teleports at the end! (also i think he's wearing a totally different jacket in this clip which probably means he has three different clancy jackets, i have no proof tho so i'm just gonna shut up. the video is from LA night one tho. not my show). here's another clip, you can see how he teleported here.

THE JUDGE

ok, so for those who don't know, right before every show the fans in their incredible outfits are being filmed while singing the judge together and every night they show a different video of them singing first verse + chorus and then after that tyler comes out with his ukulele to finish the song. it makes me cry for no reason at all. yes, i cried today too (it just makes me so happy to see all the clikkies singing together and they all look so beautiful always). so what happened today? content warning glitch happened during fan video, you can watch it here, then blurryface tweeted this:

i am losing my goddamn mind over this, people on the livestream were losing their shit when this happened, I STARTED CRYING LIKE A GODDAMN FOOL BECAUSE I'M SO FUCKING EMOTIONAL ABOUT EVERYTHING THIS BAND IS DOING. ugh. i was so right to watch today's livestream. something's gonna happen soon guys. they are warning us.

(i added CUT MY LIP to the playlist but technically it's the judge/cut my lip mashup so there's really not much to say about it)

THE CRAVING + TEAR IN MY HEART

the transition. the goddamn transition!!! it's honestly so fucking cool and probably one of my favourite parts of the tour. i absolutely love all jenna's songs and everyone who says they should not be on the setlist, fuck you forever. in this house we stan all jenna's songs. i usually cry on the craving and tyler is being so silly during tear in my heart - this is my favourite thing in the world. plus, do you really hate the sound of ukulele???

BACKSLIDE

ok, i actually started crying as soon as i realized we're singing backslide now. i love this song so goddamn much, it means the world to me. at one point it was my favourite song from clancy. the chorus breaks my poor little heart every single time and live performance of this song is so emotional... especially at the end when tyler is on his knees (the video is not from tonight's show but it's my favourite one from backslide, please watch it, his vocals here are INSANE). it's like crying for help. i wanna kill myself now. i relate to this song so much. also, backslide is the reason i decided to buy clancy tour tickets, so there's that.

SHY AWAY

oh, thank god this one is on the setlist. you know how much i love scaled and icy and i think out of all the songs from this album shy away is the best one to put on the setlist because the live performance is always so fun!!! don't you shy aWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!! the scream is absolutely fucking everything oh my god. actually, i just love when tyler screams. but don't we all.

HEATHENS + NEXT SEMESTER

ok, now don't hate me, please, but i was never the biggest fan of heathens (i don't hate the song, i like it, just not as much as the others. i probably wouldn't cry if it wasn't on the setlist). however, the transition (again!!!) from heathens to next semester is the best goddamn thing in the entire world and i am losing my mind every single time i come across any clip of this moment. please, watch it, this is everything!!! one question tho: i know tyler was playing bass on the platform for next semester and he didn't do that today, did he just stop doing this recently or is it because of what happened yesterday during the show? (not during this song tho, or at least i know nothing about it, but it seems like LA fans absolutely cannot behave and he was definitely being more careful today, more about it later tho).

ROUTINES IN THE NIGHT

oh boy, this is my vigilante shit for real. remember vigilante shit performance from the eras tour and how everyone was losing their shit when they saw taylor doing the choreography with this motherfucking chair? yes. it's basically that except tyler is fully dressed. which is even worse maybe (y'all know how i feel about his clothes for some reason). one of my favourite songs from the album, but after seeing the live performance for the first time i became absolutely obsessed with the song. i was genuinely scared today because this is basically what happened last night in LA (i swear to god people are acting like fucking animals) and i noticed that tyler was being much more careful this time: he wasn't coming so close to people, and honestly good for him. he didn't even let them touch him during this part. i can't blame him. i feel so bad for what happened. hope he's ok.

ADDICT WITH A PEN + MIGRAINE + FOREST + FALL AWAY

my favourite mashup in the entire fucking world. but before we get into it, please this is so fucking funny and adorable. so basically, before playing the mashup, tyler sat by the piano and he said "currently i'm temperature hot. so i would want to take my jacket off, i promise not to turn on all the dads tonight" and then this happened. poor guy didn't know what to do LMAO. he's such a cutie, please watch the video, he's so adorable i can't. he's also the funniest person on earth. back to the topic, the mashup... i am such a slut for their old songs and this mashup is absolutely fucking insane. the song i love the most out of those is, of course, forest. according to tyler, this song is so old it basically doesn't exist. fuck you, tyler joseph. i can't believe i'm going to hear it live tho, holy shit. i will be fucking SOBBING during this part, i just know that.

MULBERRY STREET

this is such a fun song to play live and one of my favourite moments. you can tell how much fun tyler has each time they play it, also this! this is everything!!! he's always so happy when this happens, he trained us well hahaha. it's so fun omg. can't wait to be a part of it. this has always been one of my favourite songs from scaled and icy so i'm glad they decided to keep it on the setlist.

NAVIGATING

get in, losers. we are entering the lore now. ok, honestly, this part of the tour is absolutely everything to me. torchbearer with his torch? and clancy jacket?? coming to pick him up so they can perform while dema is burning??? AAAAAAAAAAAAAA. oh my GODD. also, navigating is so special to me (i picked this url for a reason) and live performance of this song is fucking fire. watch it. watch the clip. just watch the goddamn clip, will you? we all know this song is on the setlist because of josh, so everybody say thank you josh. also you can tell tyler is very emotional about this song and i just wanna give him a hug. oh my god. i can't wait to hear it live. this will fix me (it will probably make me worse).

NICO AND THE NINERS + HEAVYDIRTYSOUL

the MOTHERFUCKING transition!!! i know i say this a lot but i am such a slut for all the transitions on this tour, oh my god. they are so good. also i absolutely fucking love how we're still in the lore and also, the visuals are absolutely incredible, and also, nico and the niners is one of my favourite songs (the one that got me into their music actually) and also heavydirtysoul live is INSANE and also-

MY BLOOD

ok, i'm sorry, i keep forgetting that this song is on the setlist. it's not one of my favourites (don't fucking hate me, i like it, it's just not my fave). i will be very much singing it at the concert tho cause it's so good live. not much to say about it tho.

OLDIES STATION

boy, here we go. so i started crying at the very beginning of the song and honestly i have no idea how i'm going to handle this live. i am so very normal about this song. it means everything to me. the worst part of it tho was when during the song tyler said "thank you so much for using our music. you've saved us in ways you'll never know". OH MY GOD. i started weeping even more. it's like... their music saved US but we also saved THEM and i need 3-5 business days to recover after that. good lord. listen, i love slowtown and i'm sad that it's not part of the setlist anymore, but i love oldies station a hundred times more and that was a good change me thinks.

FAKE YOU OUT + GUNS FOR HANDS

putting those two together just because i can and i will. vessel is such a great album and it makes me so happy that those two are on the setlist. screaming "our brains are sick but that's okay" with the entire arena is going to fix me, for sure. also, here's the clip of tyler messing up the lyrics (he basically went kjbufbfkkjejkebfkjk after that lmao). can't blame him. the rap part is so fast. i died tho. he's so funny, please.

LAVISH

i can't even begin to explain how happy i am to have this one on the setlist. it's the funniest moment on tour and i love watching them being stupid on stage. also, jOsH iS sHiRtLeSs. the walk, THE WALK LMAO. the best choreography you've ever seen. i just love seeing them so silly and happy and this is everything. i paid a lot of money to see this live. i'm definitely not gonna regret this.

RIDE

so the thing i love about this tour is that every single night while performing this song tyler brings a different kid to sing the chorus with him (it's the equivalent of giving the hat during 22 on the eras tour i would say). tonight we had an adorable girl named callie (if i'm correct). she did so well! also i was giggling so much when tyler said she's cute (he was giggling too hdshfbhekj). i just love watching him with kids, it's so sweet!!! also she had a great beanie with band's logo, i want one too. please watch the clip of them singing together!

PALADIN STRAIT

i was crying. i was crying so much, i love this song and the live performance is so emotional. i put the song bandito on the playlist, because there's this moment in the song where tyler is singing the bridge of paladin strait and josh is singing bandito at the same time and OH MY GOD. DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT MEANS FOR THE LORE??? THIS IS SO CLEVER AND I AM LOSING MY GODDAMN MIND EVERY SINGLE TIME I THINK ABOUT IT. please, watch. this is sick as fuck. you don't understand. do you even understand? OR AM I THE ONLY ONE I KNOW???? i'm sorry i just can't i can't i am defeated i am absolutely insane about this part. also, the ending when they are showing the clip of paladin strait music video combined with other clips which looks like a flashback from clancy's life and his never ending battle with nico? the fuck??? and then we go straight to...

JUMPSUIT

the motherfucking coat. not gonna say anything else. just. the coat. oh dear lord. now i am temperature hot.

MIDWEST INDIGO

now my favourite part of midwest indigo is tyler taking off his coat very slowly. because he fucking knows what he's doing. but also, this song is so special to me. i know he wrote it as a love letter to ohio and i'm not even american but somehow this song always makes me think about my hometown. the live performance is so great. the beginning with the bass! he's adorable!

STRESSED OUT

"i don't want stressed out on the setlist it's so overplayed" kill yourself. i love stressed out because i have good taste. it's fun. it's a great song with great lyrics and you fuckers hate it only because it's popular. just shut up. shut the fuck up. in this house we actually enjoy listening to good songs. i personally want it to be on every setlist. if stressed out has no fans it means i killed myself. i'm dead. i'm gone. stressed out defender forever and always. also clancy tour version is incredible. just watch it and shut the fuck up.

TREES

again, i was so scared about my boys because of what happened yesterday in LA. people are fucking animals. i'm so glad, because tyler actually decided to call them out for this and seems like it was much better today. but still. guys please, behave, cause if you're not gonna start acting responsible they are going to stop performing like this. it's still insane compared to the opening night of clancy tour where people didn't even come closer until tyler told them to. i also just noticed now that tyler's t-shirt had black font today (the previous one had red font) for the first time. i think i was just too tired to notice this before. there's not much i can tell you about trees, because you just simply have to be there to understand. it's a perfect song to end the show (for those who don't know: they always close their shows with this one), it's something i experienced live once before and i can't even compare it to anything. i wasn't even crying. my soul literally just left my body. trust me, there's absolutely nothing like trees live. i can show you thousands of clips and it will never be enough. nobody does it like them. seriously. this is the moment. the moment of all moments. i am in fact crying now...

TO SUM IT UP:

great show. 10/10. would recommend. i'm going to see them live in 223 days. this is the thing that makes me want to stay alive. yes. i need to stay alive for this. whoever sent me this ask, thank you. it means the world to me. i need to talk about them because it's the only joy in my life now. they are the reason i want to push on through. also, if you made it this far, thank you. i love you. and i'm sorry.

[i-cant-sing]

Wait your god has never disappointed you before that sounds really nice I’m happy for you when I pray to my god I always feel like nothing happens like I was having a breakdown and asked god for an answer and no response

Omg I don't wanna sound like I'm trying brain wash u or inviting u to a cult, but like Islam as a religion? The best. I am not kidding when I say that Allah has never disappointed me. Everything I have ever asked for, I either got it (immeadiately or with delay), did not get it and realised it was harmful for me, GOT SOMETHING BETTER THAN WHAT I ASKED FOR.

Allah and me? He is my Lord and Provider and God, but also like my best friend because when no one got me, HE GOT ME. I think there's been one too many times in my life when I'm like "there's nothing else humanly possible for me to do anything about this." And then Allah steps in and is like "I'm here! What you want?"

Like idc what religion or spiritual thing you guys have going on, there's just that one time, one experience where deep down, you know that some higher power was at play. There's just no way this is all a coincidence.

I BOMB a test, and like I know, I KNOW I'm gonna fail it, but I pray to Allah to just let me pass and HE HELPSSSS.

I ask for a holiday, Allah gives me a holiday. I ask for weight loss without working out? I lose 7 kgs. I feel sad or depressed or insomnia? I pray (usually Isha or Tahajud) AND ITS GOOD MENTAL HEALTH WEEK FOR ME.

Love you Allah💖🫶

And like not to mention, Islam as a religion has already told us about so many things that are now backed up by science, but Islam did it like what??? 2500 years ago??? Like waking up early, or about the earthquakes and natural disasters, or why you should sit or drink in a particular posture. (Also it mentioned a lot about current world affairs as well- Palestine). But not only that, the prophetic stories are so beautiful and heart touching. Like did I bawl like a baby when I read about Ali and Fatima's love story (and also the Ashura tragedy) and Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) interactions and guidance and heartbreaks and sufferings and 😭😭😭😭

[casually-salad]

OOOO ALSO WANTED TO SAY I love that on that kids sheet(I'm terrible with names) with yogurt they have a sword fighting mark now. I'm sure that won't be trouble later on akabakab

Also love how you're handling these characters dude!!I'm so excited to see you continue this series and I also wanted to say I loved seeing the wonderbolts like that because that's exactly how I picture how things would go down with civilians.

OOO and for favorite aus I thought I'd share these for you to check out!! There are only three(other than this one) that I keep up with!!

I highly recommend them, especially green hordes and paintingskyes au!!!Pinkie senses has beautiful art but doesn't upload a whole bunch but has a wonderful story going on. Greenhordes is mostly reading but dude it's so worth it trust me,their infection is so sick my favorite is the mimic. And paintingskyes au is fantastic and they have a upload schedule and everything it's very well organized!!Also super fun to watch!!

Id love to hear your thoughts on the other infection aus if you do check them out!!

https://thegreenhordes.tumblr.com/?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/pinkies-senses?source=share

https://www.tiktok.com/@paintingskye?_t=8qIxEzM88AI&_r=1

HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII OMG

i wanted to say - first - dont worry, well see yougurt and ruby again soon, i plan on having them be a constant for as long as i can this chapter... but im still setting up the beginning of it ;;;;; long beginning am i right? i actually have a comic i neeeed to upload but these past couple days have been hellish so i havent gotten the chance, i will soon tho.... pinkie promise.... i miiiight post a teeser on whats coming up but because you mentioned the wonderbolts ill boost em up a bit - no one really does but i do take request on who wants to be seen next :3ccc

also YAY!!!!!! i love hearing others favorite aus!!!!! the reason why i didnt respond is because i wanted to go through each au ya sent and read them... and i just got to the last one... and funny thing... those last 2 are in my top 5 rn

if youre curious... my top 5* are: harmony syndrome by cracklewink on here, then everfree infection tales by mrsgendered on youtube/tiktok, pinkies senses :3, molt effect by bumbled_eve on tiktok, and fallen dawn!!! i dont see a lot because i dont. have any platforms outside of tumblr and i read a lot from youtube videos!!!!!!!!! tho i also have to recommend are the broodmother virus which is made by my friend on here, anthlogo virus, the shimmer virus, and then the paricite infection on tiktok

IM SORRY I KNOW THATS PROBABLY A LOT BUUUUUUUT ive been in a wack mental state for a while and i infection au videos are some of the few i can watch without freaking out and so ive been rewatching/listening to a ton

*i dont like to include stories that are not done/mostly done

but anyway, i wanted to say thank you sosososososososo much for reading and im really happy when i see you pop up in my notifications, and i really appreciate all your support!!! heres this as a thank you :3

[bohnsky]

I am not happy at all. No I am but also I'm not. I did not wake up at 6:30 in the morning on a sunday just to watch my favorites dnf and listen to Ralf Schumacher rant about my love Checo (at least he knows that Checo fans dislike him). Only the McLaren double podium makes this race okay (not really but I'm happy for them) and Ferrari didn't fuck up which is good.

So anyway here are my favorite drivers 4,5 months into liking f1:

Because he was in the paddock this weekend, I have to include Seb again. My one and only. I love him, he deserves the world, protect him at all cost. When he said it hurts to watch instead of driving himself because Suzuka is his favorite track. Emotional damage.

But he seemed so happy to be back in the paddock and to teach the grid about bees. He's so passionate, it's beautiful. And we got Sewis content.

1. Alex Albon

This (hopefully) won't change as long as I put Seb in a different category (the Seb category).

Just today I saw a comment saying that you simply can't hate Alex and that he is the least disliked driver and I love that. He deserves all the love.

My heart broke when he retired. I am not okay with how things turned out here. Everyone said they love Suzuka, why is it so mean to me?

2. Sergio Perez

I hate to admit that I almost put him on third this week because I wasn't as obsessed with him as I was during the last few weeks, but omg did I get mad when Ralf Schumacher started ranting about him, which made me rethink that decision. I love Checo my precious. This whole race was a disaster for him (and me) and yes some of it was his fault, I realize that, but I refuse to think about it. Just as I refuse to think about his seat. And I refuse to talk about it with anyone who doesn't agree with me. (I don't mind people who don't agree with me, I just don't want to hear it, not when it comes to Checo my love)

I just hope he is okay mentally and can enjoy the celebrations with the team.

Also I usually drink a red bull for every race but I didn't want one at 7 in the morning, so that race must have been the punishment for me not drinking my racely red bull.

3. Charles Leclerc

My man, again on 4th must suck. So close to the podium. But honestly I'm just happy that Ferrari didn't actively try to fuck up his race again.

4. Lewis Hamilton

Sewis content yay :D

Lewis always seems so happy when he's with Seb and that makes me happy. These two are my f1 comfort ship, they never fail to make me smile.

But also unecessary Merc bitch fight, I hope they are civil about it off track.

5. Lance Stroll

This time I had to put Lance here. I just adore him and it literally breaks my heart that he has such a bad season. To me he seems like he always stays true to himself even with all the bullshit he constantly gets and I love that for him. And even if I want more Lance content I love that he stays away from media as much as he does.

He was doing really well this race and I thought this could be a good one for once, for my little Lancy shaped heart, but no. Everything went wrong today just kill me already.

Honerable mentions:

Lando. I'm so happy about the McLaren double podium and that Lando has so many podiums lately. Also I've been watching a lot of Quadrant lately and I'm totally digging it.

Oscar. Obviously, I'm so happy for him. He is an amazing driver and a precious little baby. Go McLaren!

Valtteri. He's really gone through it today. I like him a lot, he might even be in the top 10 and I just want him to be happy. This race was not it. Also it took me ages to learn how to spell Valtteri. I always wrote Vallteri or Valterri. But now I know.

Max. Congrats my guy. I was thinking, I'm a little sad that I joined f1 during his peak. I wish I could've watched him grow and become the driver he is now. Also his fucking hair. Please I just want to touch it.

Hulknussen. I just want to talk about them because it seems like no one else does. To me they are peak enemies to friends (to lovers). But I don't like Haas the team. The drivers are great.

The Alpha Tauris. Listen, I am not okay with the whole seat situation in Alpha Tauri or even all of Red Bull. I love that Yuki and Danny get to drive next season, but what about Liam? He is literally outperforming Yuki. He should get a permanent seat. Why aren't they giving it to Liam? What are they planning? Please don't scare me and my Checo heart. Why can't everyone get a seat? Why did I get into a sport where there are only 20 fucking seats? Why does everyone have to be so lovable?

George. I was thinking about George getting Alex this his seat and I am thankful. That's why George is here on this list today.

The 2nd William seat. Is not a driver but it stresses me out. I don't think that Logan will get it again. I want Mick to get it. Please give me your opinions. Who will get the 2nd Williams seat next season?

[malinastharlock]

So this was me before I transitioned and durring my first few months of transitioning. It has been a crazy hardcore freaking ride of emotions hormones and self hatred. *Side note* Holy crap I do have one pose I do all the freaking time omg... anyways! So yeah I started off at 265ish lbs and now I'm down to 228 lbs. I'm so proud of myself on so many levels.

When I first started I had given up on myself. I started gaining weight faster then I ever have and I didn't want to go on. I knew the truth and I wanted to be myself but I was so afraid. I kept holding myself back, I couldn't accept the fact I was trans. I was diagnosed with, I think they used to call it, gender identity disorder, before they changed it to a lot better term (Gender Dysphoria) I spent so long thinking I was broken and I thought if I had a family and did all the "normal Cis dude stuff", all these feelings would go away. They did not, in fact it only made it worse. The more I pushed myself to be what I thought the ideal man was the worse I became. I was killing the girl inside me. The girl I truely am. Then after running out of options and loosing almost everything, I looked at myself and wondered, why not embrace it. I seriously thought I had to fight who I was. Like it was some kind of grand crusade against myself to make me stronger. I didn't know I was becoming this toxic mess of a person.

Here I am though. Seriously the first 6 months was the hardest too. My head felt like a whirlpool of emotions and it was all new to me. The only time I ever cryed before was when I drank too much. Now I see something too sad and it triggers my emotions and I can't help it. I love it though. I love feeling emotions and feeling like I actually care about everything and anything. I love helping people and doing charity just for fun. I look at this abused body and think R'lyeah that's me 😍. I'm finally becoming the woman I was trying so hard to hide. She's free, I'm free, and I feel beautiful for the first time in my life. Thank you all so much. You are all beautiful and I believe in you all.

So many times have I heard haters say well why should I accept you when you couldn't even except yourself. Like, "Bitch! I spent 35 fucking years not accepting myself! I finally do and you think you can cast hate upon me, fuck nugget!?" I honestly don't give a flying fuck if anyone accepts me. The fact that I finally accept myself is absolutely wonderful. I'm so happy I walk around with a pep in my step, music in my heart and and giant middle finger to all the haters.

I did this for me. So I could become healthy, both mentally and physically.

[therhythmafterthesummer]

I was just watching some Lee Know vlogs. And I can only imagine how soft he is with his kitten first thing in the morning. Like very gently pats, shielding her eyes from direct sunlight, asking about her dreams (he wants to know if he’s in them).

But also just imagine if they were away on a group thing and for whatever reason they couldn’t sleep in the same room. So he’s up at the crack of dawn waiting for her so he can cuddle her on the couch and even if she drifts back to sleep.

(This is for wereroomies!lee know btws)

it's taken me way too long to get to this ask omg. yes, yes, yes. absolutely. wereroomies!minho would do this.

sfw and not so sfw Thoughts(TM) under the cut

every morning text from him to his kitten will always be along the lines of "morning beautiful. did you sleep well? did you dream about me?" at first she'd be blunt and say yes or no depending on the answer.

if the answer was no, minho would simply reply with a ): and a teasing "you don't like me anymore? i see how it is..."

if the answer was yes, minho would reply a (: and ask all the details.

eventually she'd learn to ditch the "no", and opt for a "not last night baby but i'm daydreaming about you right now" which would lead to some form of phone sex or flirty messages right on the spot.

if they were sleeping together, minho would make sure to ask. "tell me everything, baby. all of it. what were we doing? were we married? did we have pups? were we still at the den? was chris bald?"

during one of their trips to the woods, half the rooms were being serviced, so the sleeping arrangements made it so minho and his precious kitten couldn't get privacy nor cuddle the other to sleep because jisung had invited himself to sleep with them and begged until they let him sleep sandwiched between the two.

when she woke up the next day, with only jisung clinging to her frame, she was a bit confused. so she made her way downstairs to find minho curled up on the sofa, hugging a pillow.

as soon as minho spotted his kitten he let go of the pillow and opened his arms with a sad pout on his lips, and she just chuckled and immediately plopped on the sofa and let herself be engulfed by her boyfriend's body heat.

"what are you doing here, baby?" she asked him immediately. and minho grumbled back a "i was mentally trying to get you to wake up and come join me. i love jisung, but i want to hug my girlfriend to sleep goddamn it. also, i woke up because the sound of chris and our mum 'sneaking out' for a morning fuck was just too hard to ignore so i moved as far away from the crime scene as i could..."

immediately after though, he'd ask as usual, mumbling against her hair. "did you sleep well? did you dream about me?"

"i did, baby. but it was....... you were fighting sir percival for a burger patty... in your wolf form"

"that's good enough for me..." minho mumbled again, hugging her close, sounding incredibly sleepy. after a few minutes, he fell asleep, and his kitten just snuggled impossibly closer and fell asleep shortly after.

siiighhh i really need to give more love to this couple !! i have an idea for them that i'm dying to write and share with you guysssss. thank you for this ask, anon. it was super fun to think of this little scenario. your brain is huge.

[mihai-florescu]

"This is beyond a ship and beyond an otp and i will stop before i start sounding insane" no omg by all means, this resonates with me, please carry on... "because all roads lead to wataei<3" i feel so seen right now, you're so real for all of your takes <3 my ship is mafuena from project sekai, i'm their strongest soldier.

I saw your ask i was about to shower so i spent about half an hour monologue ranting about wataei to myself and i dont think i remember everything to write it again but i'll try a little bit.

I am thinking about how wataei can be seen by people who havent read their stories (or how other characters see them in canon from afar) as "guy stockholm syndromes his crush that he bullied into loving him" but reading any of their stories shows you that's really not the case at allll and it's Wataru who has the upper hand over Eichi's life. How many times has Eichi just *thought* that Wataru actually hates and will leave him and stopped thinking clearly. And how many times has Wataru enabled Eichi's jealous behavior.

And it all goes back to the fact that Wataru saved Eichi's life. Multiple times, Wataru unknowingly (and then knowingly) reaches out to Eichi and gives him another reason to live. First on the hospital tv inspiring a sickly young boy to start loving idols, then after the war, when Eichi is about to let himself die, Wataru pulls him back into the story. Eichi thinks he deserves to die for his actions and here is Wataru stopping him, giving him a chance to write a happy ending for everyone.

I know Wataru says he didn't hate Eichi for the events that unfolded in the war but I do think at the time he wasn't honest. Not with himself, i think he really wanted to treat it from an outsider perspective as a coping mechanism, and brush it off, not treating real life as more than a play (which is why him saying that Eichi taught him reality is more beautiful than anything else is so important. They make each other grow and become better but at the same time they can also enable each other's bad parts through jealousy and misplaced attention. They're everything. And another tangent, I'm sorry, but I wonder if another reason Wataru called Tsumugi the best clown and thought he could take the role was because at the time they were both perceiving life as not really happening to them? Tsumugi because he's desensitized, and Wataru because he distances himself from feelings and events by treating them as a play. Which is why he was struggling with those last words from *himself* to the eccentrics regarding their youth together. He gets fully invested in his roles playing them perfectly, but they're not him. And that's why in the beginning he thinks that he too will be able to leave, but throughout that next year he lets go of the "life is a play and i'm doing whatever roles are required of me" mentality that culminates in offering his mask to Eichi at the end of the year. This is me, and i offer this to you. But there are other moments on the way such as him telling Eichi he acted upon a selfish wish in Diner Live to be on the same stage together as Wataru Hibiki and Eichi Tenshouin. Sorry for the long detour). But as he reassures in every later story over and over again, he came to love Eichi the more they spent time together. It's just so important to me that they actively choose to be together.

I don't remember exactly what else I was thinking about in the shower but i know i was giggling at some point about Wataru's "Keito calls himself Eichi's right hand, but Eichi is left handed" observation. It is all so much better post Blackbird. Keito was the author of the war with Eichi, but Wataru was the one creating the story of the ! era by Eichi's side. I really am so, so curious what the final Fine event will be. And then, beyond, in the next era...

[aettuddae]

i think this my first time being late to an update omg…🕷️ anon washed

starting off with business matter first…would it be crazy if i said this was my fav update 😭😭 i loved chapter 92 specifically because it forces serim & rina to both face their feelings (& doubts), intimacy could only go so long as a form of communication b4 they both were left unsatisfied (more so serim) its rlly sad even now karina cant fully accept her feelings using ning as an excuse to let their bond go (not rlly an excuse but how she self sabotage b4 anything could rlly happen) it was such a good chapter and i just like angst (obvs by now)

im rlly worred about ningning in all this tho…whether serim & rina end up together or she ends up with serim (with the knowledge that she will never feel how she feels for jimin) its a lose lose situation for her…unless im reading too much into it and shes not taking her time with serim seriously/just having fun

them saying goodbye to eo was amazingly beautiful i dont even know what to say…bittersweet i guess

KYUIN GIRLFAILURE WE LOVE U ALREADY 🫶🫶 also adding another delulu jimin into my bag thank u 💋 i think i say this about all the friendgroups in ur stories but I LOVE novaHIVI DYNAMIC ALREADY THEY FAMILY (havent stopped thinking about this group either like u cooked so bad here)

the difference between how anthology!kazuha and hole in one!kazuha act dhsbshsnsn

minjeong n milf 👍👍

i just wanna say i liked minkwan…i probably didnt say anything tho cause my peasized brain zeros in on yuri 😕

SUCH A WASTE ON CHITTAPHON NOOOOO U SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I LEAVE, THE GAY BOYS NEED LOVE TOO 😭😭 (its also interactive too so the min i figure out how that works im getting my mean gay boy x loser gay girl both being down bad serve idc)

simon says is amazing…we just love father dem jointz over here and we thank god everyday sm passes him around like a groupie in that building

also so many anons are flirting with u now that means u made it…dont forget me when ur famous

- 🕷️

it's literally the end of the deal, it's so important, makes total sense !! and all of the events and circumstances make it more hard for them to be delusional about what they feel, serim couldn't hold it anymore. glad you enjoyed it, even if it was some sad episodes.

yeah, with the new update i just posted 😀 ningning's situation changes a little, since she's actually capable of trying and prioritizing her mental sanity, although it's probably gonna hurt for her in any scenario, she's more aware and ready than the other two

kyuin is a cutie that has barely learnt how to exist in society, we need to protect her 😭 i have already accepted i'm never writing a normal boring jimin, i always have to make her borderline schizophrenic 😔 so happy to hear you like novahivi's dynamic, you always focus on the things that matter to me 😅 i always prioritize the main character's friend groups a lot and i find particularly fun writing novahivi interacting with each other

shut up finally a kazuha that's not attempting to murder anyone (YET) (jokey joke)

minjeong and milf 🫴🏼

OH NOW EVERYONE LIKES MINKWAN GET OUTTA HERE, Y'ALL ARE TOO LATE

this blog is a woman's world i swear, readers don't even support gay men 😔 i will support any idea you have to get the gays thriving and vibing

father demjointz 😭 literally, i owe him so much, has given me my fav kpop songs

i will never forget you, spidey, you're literally my everything

[mama-qwerty]

Hello, it's me again. It's been a bit, how are you? With me, here's the gist:

I'm cleaning out my friend's old Deviantart account! They originally gave me it, so I'm in the process of wiping everything clean from that account. I've contacted people to let them know that I'm deactivating the account. It's been bugging me since sophomore year in college and so I decided to finally step down and do something about it. A bit stressful but, by the end of the year, I will deactivate my Deviantart for good.

On the other hand, I'm having a bit of an identity crisis. I'm scared people will try to look up anything bad about me and try to take me down. Remember that post I told you about that was from 4 years ago? Well that post was about Hazbin Hotel. The fandom has caused me trauma and I'm just.. In a bit of panic right now. Plus I fell out of interest with the fandom (I don't mind if people talk about it though!)

I'm sorry for bothering you. I'm just a huge worrywart.

- 🦊 anon

Hiya! I'm doing okay. Trying to keep on keeping on.

You seem to have a lot of anxiety about others coming at you and attacking you over things that either happened a long time ago, or for just any reason. I get the second guessing and the stressing out over things that maybe could give people ammo against you. I get it. So I'm not diminishing your fears and worries because I know they are real to you.

And I get that some (most?) fandoms can have an element of negativity and stress. Which sucks because, c'mon people, we're all here to enjoy something. It's more pleasurable to enjoy than to tear down.

But what I want you to try to keep in mind is, in most cases, you're not going to be attacked just for posting some things online. Yes, I know there are exceptions, but they are just that--exceptions.

And I will ask this (which you absolutely don't have to answer publicly), what 'bad things' could people dig up on you? Some comments made when you were younger, with less life experience, or just in a bad place mentally? Past interests that have not aged well, or have been ripped to shreds by an angry/spiteful fandom?

Even if you were a major trollish dick years ago (which I doubt), you can still address things maturely and calmly.

Once you've narrowed down exactly what you're worried people will 'attack' you over, you can adequately plan for a reaction. For example:

Someone: "Hey, you said _____ which was so horrible!"

You: "I agree, what I said then was not okay and I apologize if it hurt you. I am a different person now, and really regret that."

Someone: "OMG you were in ____ fandom???? You suck"

You: "I was in that fandom years ago, and have moved on. Mind your business."

What you're worried about are the what ifs. The unknown. So make a list of what you worry will happen, and then a plan on how to react to it.

And also, bear in mind that some people are just assholes who delight in upsetting others. Especially on the internet, where the anonymity makes them braver. The block and delete buttons (where applicable) are your friend. Use them without mercy on those who seem intent on just being a dick to you.

Many hugs to you, Foxy! Try to stop looking behind yourself so much. You'll never see the beautiful road ahead of you if you're always looking at the potholes in the rearview!

[linafinsterwald192]

GHOVIE SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT!! my feelings about it

omg i have so much to say y'all. SPOILERS. SPOILERSS.

Holy shit. HO-LY-SHIT- I went to Berlin for that (it's like, 2 hours away from me so not that big of a deal BUT i have social anxiety) and the train station and the unfamiliar cinema and all that made me anxious, but I had to be there on time, so I didn't have time for that!! I made it and i am so glad that i did and i am glad to know that copia would be proud of me. Also the tickets were ridiculously cheap. I made almost the same for the ticket AND my cinema menu, which was just mid-sized nachos with a mid-sized pepsi and two dips??? Also yes I know Berlin cinema snacks are expensive, but I paid almost 12€ (compared to around 16 for Ghost) on Avengers Infinity War tickets a few years ago, and that one I watched in a shitty small town cinema. The fans were awesome. One of them came as a ghoul(ette?) and another gave out bracelets. I now have a Mummy Dust bracelet. Picture my excitement when it played in the movie. The lightning was fucking fantastic. It was BEAUTIFUL and brought out the faces and the jackets and oh my god everything was so close and so cinematic and i fucking loved it. I expected the movie to basically be one big Chapter, so it being essentially one big concert was a surprise to me, and it took me a while to realise that this the concept of the entire movie - but I loved it! I do not have the mental equipment to go to a concert since I get overwhelmed with crowds and such, so it was amazing getting to see a Ritual on the big screen. I love the character arcs. I love Copia standing up to Nihil, questioning what he has ever done for him. I love Sister's absolute SASS when congratulating Nihil for finally being a father at last. I love Nihil actually being a father, if for like... 10 combined minutes xD I love the characters in general. I can absolutely understand that C wants to stay and it's so interesting to see Seestor trying to let him down gently - as compared to... you know... stabbing the others when it was time? I love the relationship between Sis and Nihil. Clearly in love but still nagging (for good reason). I loved the whole cartoon-y clip. I think it conveyed their relationship perfectly and while I'm not usually a fan of i like you/Go away relationships, I absolutely ship them. They match each other's crazy for real. Also the coffin kiss is part of my Roman Empire now. I wish we could have seen how Sister and Nihil felt about Sister's death. I wish we could have seen Sister looking forward to being on the same plane as Nihil again - and I want to know if they can hug and kiss again now! I was kind of grateful that they didn't include this since it leaves more room for headcanons, but I do wish Sister had gotten an on-screen death. I loved all these small funny moments. "Do you think that's air you're smelling?" was fucking hilarious, as were the eye movements with Nihil crossing and... (what is the opposite of crossing here) his eyes - i bet the actor was very proud of that one xD I liked Ashley, and I'm glad to see Copia still has Mr. Saltarian by his side. I'm SUPER excited to see if we get more chapters, now with Copia as Frater Imperator. Also, the twin thing???? Very fucking excited for that! It was also very funny to see the ghouls so well-behaved on stage. Papa, too. 12/10. would watch a million times more. the audio for the concert portions was so clear, the jackets beautiful, and my babes were rockin'.

[jung-koook]

Hi sky!! Happy birthday love!!🥳🎂

I've always been a silent admirer of ur blog, this is like my 3rd time? Sending u an ask. I just want to say how grateful I am that you exist, it sounds a bit silly I know but you're such a beautiful person inside and out(I haven't seen u but I just know it) and bangtan is so lucky to have a fan like you cheering on them from the very start of their career. It's truly admirable to see how devoted you are to bts and how much u adore jungkook🥹 and the other members as well. You were my first ever bts blog I came across and I fell in love with one of ur jungkook gif sets.

I've been struggling so much mentally for the past few yrs and these past few months were especially hard on me. I was diagnosed with adhd and it was very hard for me accept that and just live life all in all but whenever I came on tumblr and saw one ur posts or u freaking abt smth it just lifts up my mood involuntarily. It's like you're tinkerbell and when I see ur blog, it like sprinkles pixie dust on me making my mood better(sorry if that doesn't make any sense).

When you open up personally, I sometimes do relate to some of it and it makes me feel like I'm not alone. I'm not that type of person who gets attracted to ppl or let ppl in my life easily but you've easily become one of my fav person. So thank you for everything that you've done. Forever grateful for all the lovely gifs u make.

Have the happiest 26th birthday ever!!! sending a lot of love and hugs your way💌💗🫂🫂

I'M GOING TO CRY OMG 😭😭😭😭 your message made me so emotional. I wish I could give you such a big, long hug right now.

I know how hard it is to know something like that. I've been to a place like this so I know a little about how you're feeling. but if I could help as a friend, I would tell you to see this as a way of getting to know yourself. It's really hard to be diagnosed with something, but with that we also start to get answers. and then you top feeling like there's something different about you and see that it's something normal than what you have. we begin to understand ourselves better and deal better with our feelings. in my life, depression affects me much more than my dyslexia, but it was much more hard for me to accept that I had dyslexia. It was a really long journey until I felt comfortable with it and stopped feeling embarrassed about it. I really hope something similar happens to you. I just wish your journey is not long like mine. I wish everything will be fine soon. and may you be able to get through this in a not so hard way. please don't be hard on yourself. this is the time you have to be your own best friend. take good care of yourself. don't let any negative energy from anywhere affect you. It's a time for you to focus on you and only you. "It's like you're tinkerbell and when I see ur blog, it like sprinkles pixie dust on me making my mood better" there are tears in my eyes right now 😭 this was one of the most special, beautiful, emotional and amazing thing I have ever read in my life. and having this directed at me made me so emotional and speechless. I will keep your message forever in my memory and in my heart.

I'm feeling so special and honored to be one of your favorite people. I don't know who you are but you have already become one of my favorite people, because I can see what an amazing, beautiful and nice person you are.

thank you so much 🥹 please don't be a stranger, come here whenever you want ok? I will always love seeing you here.

[pardonmydelays]

THE CONCERT, OMG.

*To people reading this, Idina Menzel👑 is doing a tour and she came to my city*

I literally don't even know where to begin, Poppy...

Two songs from 'Rent' - "Take Me Or Leave Me" (the crowd lost their goddamn minds lol. She let some of the audience members sing with her.) and "No Day but Today"

HER OUTFIT. It started off as this huge and dramatic gown, and it was stripped down one by one until she had on a simple, almost sheer-like jumpsuit (or I think it was a dress??). Here's the dress: instagram.com/p/C-BkQOwOHcc/?img_index=6! The stripping of each piece was done so quickly yet effortlessly.

A story (humorous or sentimental) was her way of starting the next song. I don't know how to explain it, but the way she just transitioned into each song was done so smoothly. We love a good storyteller.

She talked a little bit about mental health. Just another thing to add on my long list of why I love The Queen™. The way she transitioned into the topic, though, was clever. She first sang an up-tempo jazz song and then proceeded to open up about the topic. I, too, have anxiety, you beautiful human being. I hope Idina is aware of how loved she is by many, because she is. ❤️

The story she told before she sang "Do You Want To Build A Snowman" was great. Omg.. her cover of the song was AMAZING, by the way!! She learned quickly that snowboarding is not for her. 😂 (I tried doing that in 2021 and I found out the hard way that I can't do it either! 😭 So.. cheers to us for trying to be cool.)

Idina went hard on "No One Mourns The Wicked" and I had no idea what to think about it to be honest. This was when she stripped down to her last outfit. We're talking headbanging here.

Look, I'm straight, but seeing Idina Menzel sit in a rather alluring position on the piano AND a couch in a huge tulle gown was not on my bingo card, but there we were. I was totally looking respectfully!

Obviously she sang "Let It Go". The way she transitioned into this song was telling us what was going through her head before going on stage to perform at the Oscars. March 2, 2014. After she said the date, I knew where this was going. I don't recall watching it in 2014, though, so I didn't know about 'Adele Dazeem' until I recently started binge-watching her interviews! They played audio footage of John [Travolta] screwing up her name in his speech, and her reaction was priceless. "[pauses in confusion] ... Wait... what?"

*Hey, that's what Elsa's sister says a lot!*

Obviously the crowd lost their minds, once again, lol. I just happened to be seated next to a mother with three girls, so you can bet those girls were excited.

She sang two songs from her new musical that's going to Broadway next year!

She sang a few songs from her previous musicals, such as "You Learn to Live Without" from If/Then and "The Life of the Party" from The Wild Party.

I need Idina to do more jazz songs, especially with an (I think this is the term) up-tempo.

The finale, oh my God. After she sang "Brave" or a slow, sentimental song (I forgot which one), she said, Goodnight everyone, thank you. and then walked off. Straight face, very monotone. Me: 😯🤨😕 The crowd was cheering while a few people were heading out. 'Is that it????', I wondered. I was confused because there was one specific song she didn't sing... As the audience kept cheering, I thought to myself, 'There is no way in fucking hell she just did that. There is no way in hell she went through a whole concert without singing that song.' I DID NOT DRIVE 45 MINUTES FOR MY QUEEN™ TO NOT SING DE--

Damn, am I am proud of myself for staying. Nobody was leaving, so that's when I realized "Defying Gravity" was the finale song. 😮‍💨🥹🥰 Great acting, Dee, great acting. And GREAT JOB FOR ALMOST GIVING ME A HEART ATTACK!

Overall, this was an incredible concert. I'm honestly still speechless and processing everything, so I'm sure there's more that I will remember later today, but that's all I'll write for now. I didn't get the best, high quality pictures, but I still took some. I am definitely going to New York next year for my birthday to see her new musical! This was a great way to end July.

I hope you have a wonderful time at the The Eras Tour!!!! I can't wait to "hear" about your experience!!!!

AAAHHH! omg i literally have shivers just from reading this, i am so extremely happy for you! sounds like a hell of a show to be honest, oh what i'd give to hear "no day but today" and "defying gravity" live! 🥹

the dress you showed me is actually so beautiful, she looks absolutely stunning. thank you for sharing your experience with me!!! it was such a pleasure to read! i'm so glad you decided to go and made some beautiful memories there, there's nothing better in this life than going to concerts tbh 🫶

here's to many, many more!!!