#old school new body reviews

[justinspoliticalcorner]

Kavitha Surana at ProPublica:

In her final hours, Amber Nicole Thurman suffered from a grave infection that her suburban Atlanta hospital was well-equipped to treat. She’d taken abortion pills and encountered a rare complication; she had not expelled all of the fetal tissue from her body. She showed up at Piedmont Henry Hospital in need of a routine procedure to clear it from her uterus, called a dilation and curettage, or D&C. But just that summer, her state had made performing the procedure a felony, with few exceptions. Any doctor who violated the new Georgia law could be prosecuted and face up to a decade in prison. Thurman waited in pain in a hospital bed, worried about what would happen to her 6-year-old son, as doctors monitored her infection spreading, her blood pressure sinking and her organs beginning to fail. It took 20 hours for doctors to finally operate. By then, it was too late.

The otherwise healthy 28-year-old medical assistant, who had her sights set on nursing school, should not have died, an official state committee recently concluded.

Tasked with examining pregnancy-related deaths to improve maternal health, the experts, including 10 doctors, deemed hers “preventable” and said the hospital’s delay in performing the critical procedure had a “large” impact on her fatal outcome. Their reviews of individual patient cases are not made public. But ProPublica obtained reports that confirm that at least two women have already died after they couldn’t access legal abortions and timely medical care in their state. There are almost certainly others. Committees like the one in Georgia, set up in each state, often operate with a two-year lag behind the cases they examine, meaning that experts are only now beginning to delve into deaths that took place after the Supreme Court overturned the federal right to abortion.

Thurman’s case marks the first time an abortion-related death, officially deemed “preventable,” is coming to public light. ProPublica will share the story of the second in the coming days. We are also exploring other deaths that have not yet been reviewed but appear to be connected to abortion bans. Doctors warned state legislators women would die if medical procedures sometimes needed to save lives became illegal. Though Republican lawmakers who voted for state bans on abortion say the laws have exceptions to protect the “life of the mother,” medical experts cautioned that the language is not rooted in science and ignores the fast-moving realities of medicine.

The most restrictive state laws, experts predicted, would pit doctors’ fears of prosecution against their patients’ health needs, requiring providers to make sure their patient was inarguably on the brink of death or facing “irreversible” harm when they intervened with procedures like a D&C. “They would feel the need to wait for a higher blood pressure, wait for a higher fever — really got to justify this one — bleed a little bit more,” Dr. Melissa Kottke, an OB-GYN at Emory, warned lawmakers in 2019 during one of the hearings over Georgia’s ban. Doctors and a nurse involved in Thurman’s care declined to explain their thinking and did not respond to questions from ProPublica. Communications staff from the hospital did not respond to multiple requests for comment. Georgia’s Department of Public Health, which oversees the state maternal mortality review committee, said it cannot comment on ProPublica’s reporting because the committee’s cases are confidential and protected by federal law.

The availability of D&Cs for both abortions and routine miscarriage care helped save lives after the 1973 Supreme Court ruling in Roe v. Wade, studies show, reducing the rate of maternal deaths for women of color by up to 40% the first year after abortion became legal. But since abortion was banned or restricted in 22 states over the past two years, women in serious danger have been turned away from emergency rooms and told that they needed to be in more peril before doctors could help. Some have been forced to continue high-risk pregnancies that threatened their lives. Those whose pregnancies weren’t even viable have been told they could return when they were “crashing.” Such stories have been at the center of the upcoming presidential election, during which the right to abortion is on the ballot in 10 states.

Thurman, who carried the full load of a single parent, loved being a mother. Every chance she got, she took her son to petting zoos, to pop-up museums and on planned trips, like one to a Florida beach. “The talks I have with my son are everything,” she posted on social media.

But when she learned she was pregnant with twins in the summer of 2022, she quickly decided she needed to preserve her newfound stability, her best friend, Ricaria Baker, told ProPublica. Thurman and her son had recently moved out of her family’s home and into a gated apartment complex with a pool, and she was planning to enroll in nursing school. The timing could not have been worse. On July 20, the day Georgia’s law banning abortion at six weeks went into effect, her pregnancy had just passed that mark, according to records her family shared with ProPublica. Thurman wanted a surgical abortion close to home and held out hope as advocates tried to get the ban paused in court, Baker said. But as her pregnancy progressed to its ninth week, she couldn’t wait any longer. She scheduled a D&C in North Carolina, where abortion at that stage was still legal, and on Aug. 13 woke up at 4 a.m. to make the journey with her best friend.

On their drive, they hit standstill traffic, Baker said. The clinic couldn’t hold Thurman’s spot longer than 15 minutes — it was inundated with women from other states where bans had taken effect. Instead, a clinic employee offered Thurman a two-pill abortion regimen approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration, mifepristone and misoprostol. Her pregnancy was well within the standard of care for that treatment. Getting to the clinic had required scheduling a day off from work, finding a babysitter, making up an excuse to borrow a relative’s car and walking through a crowd of anti-abortion protesters. Thurman didn’t want to reschedule, Baker said. At the clinic, Thurman sat through a counseling session in which she was told how to safely take the pills and instructed to go to the emergency room if complications developed. She signed a release saying she understood. She took the first pill there and insisted on driving home before any symptoms started, Baker said. She took the second pill the next day, as directed.

Deaths due to complications from abortion pills are extremely rare. Out of nearly 6 million women who’ve taken mifepristone in the U.S. since 2000, 32 deaths were reported to the FDA through 2022, regardless of whether the drug played a role. Of those, 11 patients developed sepsis. Most of the remaining cases involved intentional and accidental drug overdoses, suicide, homicide and ruptured ectopic pregnancies. Baker and Thurman spoke every day that week. At first, there was only cramping, which Thurman expected. But days after she took the second pill, the pain increased and blood was soaking through more than one pad per hour. If she had lived nearby, the clinic in North Carolina would have performed a D&C for free as soon as she followed up, the executive director told ProPublica. But Thurman was four hours away.

The consequences of draconian abortion bans are being felt, as at least two women in Georgia died over being denied emergency medical care.

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

Every Episode of Miraculous Ladybug Season 5 Ranked (Part 1)

(Meme made by @eddo-tensei)

I'd like to apologize for this post taking so long, and my lack of activity this year in general. I've had a lot of things going on. I've been trying to search for a new career, I've been taking on more hours at work, I've started working out more, and I might be considering going back to school to pursue one of my career options. I've been very busy, and I know this isn't an excuse for the lack of content. I'm going to try making more posts on this blog when I can, because after this ranking post and the movie review, I won't have as many big projects to work on. With that being said, let's get to the main event.

I had very few positive things to say about Season 5, and it'll be reflected here. With Season 4, I at least had some clear outliers for the best and worst episodes, but because so many of these episodes blended together, it's hard to really rank them. At best, there were two or three episodes I thought were good, and not even really good like the highlights of Season 4. So this time, I'll be taking a page from one of Schaffrillas Productions' ranking videos, specifically his Illumination Entertainment ranking video. Rather than rank every episode from worst to best, I'm going to rank them from best to worst.

In a way, I'm giving you the quintessential Season 5 experience, starting off with high expectations before a gradual descent into mediocrity.

#1: Intuition

Season 5 really needed more episodes like this one. A good chunk of the season just defaulted to the same old Akuma of the week formula while Monarch stayed cooped up in his lair as usual. Yes, while it was justified thanks to his Cataclysm wound, it kept the writers from really capitalizing on his expanded arsenal other than giving Akumas powers he didn't need Miraculous to give them in earlier seasons. This episode is built on the three major aspects established at the beginning of the season that the writers should have been focusing on instead of Love Square drama: Gabriel secretly dying, Gabriel having access to over a dozen Miraculous, and Ladybug and Cat Noir needing to fight an uphill battle against Monarch.

For the most part, Monarch's plan is well thought out and the stakes feel high as a result. Not only does Monarch get creative with the Miraculous he has at his disposal, he exploits the heroic nature Ladybug and Cat Noir have by forcing them to choose between saving an innocent astronaut or the people of Paris. The meteor threatening Paris feels like a threat precisely because Ladybug and Cat Noir can't get any help to deal with something this big, and have to deal with it on their own. The fact that Monarch also essentially has a hostage trapped inside Bugfighter helps add to the drama.

This is the episode that arguably does the most with the space power-ups. Ever since they were introduced in the New York Special, they were mostly used by Ladybug and Cat Noir to fly across long distances, and even then, there were episodes where the writers forgot they could have used those forms to resolve the conflict (Crocoduel). Here, because most of the action is primarily set in space, the abilities of Cosmobug and Astro Cat are on full display, and it's a nice shakeup from the usual fights set in Paris.

But the best part of the episode is arguably Gabriel. While he does make multiple questionable decisions (whether they were intended to be seen as stupid by the writers is up for debate), this episode is a pretty decent character piece for Gabriel, and fleshes him out the most this season. Putting aside my problems with the writers changing the rules of the Snake Miraculous specifically so Gabriel can't use it like with the Rooster, Gabriel's behavior and body language really sells the fact that his days are numbered. For most of the season, Gabriel's Cataclysm wound was a mild inconvenience at worst, but this episode shows just why he can't go out to fight Ladybug and Cat Noir himself.

It's pretty ironic in a way. Even though he has fifteen Miraculous and is arguably the most powerful character in the show at this point, Gabriel's paranoia and arrogance prevent him from taking full advantage of his arsenal. Gabriel is so dead set on achieving his goal, he's willing to abuse the Snake Miraculous' power to find a way to win, despite the risks it has to his health. He can't trust any regular Akuma with Second Chance, and even a close ally like Tomoe isn't above being tricked by Gabriel using that same power. It's that same sense of narcissism that leads to his downfall, as while Gabriel has more power than Ladybug, he just can't outsmart her.

It's a really good episode, and was an exception to the kind of lousy writing we got during Season 5, instead of being the norm.

#2: Action

You know, it says a lot about the show when not only is arguably one of the most universally loved episodes in recent memory is the first in years to not have Astruc in the writing team, not only is it not connected to the ongoing story in any meaningful way, but it's also an environmental PSA, episodes that are usually not viewed in a positive light.

The characterization is somewhat strong here. Other than Nino being the one to lead the protests, nobody is really annoying or out of character, which works in the story's favor. There's no melodrama, no Marinette needing to learn some contrived lesson, or no Adrien being portrayed as being right about everything. It's the kids versus Big Plastic, and nothing else.

The thing that makes the story work is that compared to other environmental PSA episodes, it actually acknowledges how complicated of an issue the nature of pollution is. There aren't any characters who want to keep polluting the environment. There are just circumstances in place that prevent them from taking a stand against an injustice like this. Influential figures in Paris like Gabriel, Andre, and Nadja have connections to the company enabling the pollution, and whether it be for financial or political reasons, they're essentially dependent on it.

This kind of approach to the pollution extends to the antagonist, Bertrand. What I like about him is that compared to other rich people on this show, he's not incompetent or actively malicious. He just sees what he's doing as a business, and he can't think of any other ways to make money. He even points out how much plastic is used in modern society and that his company makes plastic for a reason. He's kind of like a less overtly antagonistic version of Mr. Waternoose from Monsters, Inc. in a way. He's aware of what he's doing, but he views profit as more important. The difference is that unlike Waternoose, Bertrand realizes the error of his ways and starts finding ways to change how his company operates.

However, this extends to one of the bigger problems I have with the episode. Because it spends so much time trying to flesh out the opposition's argument, it doesn't really give the audience enough reasons to support the heroes protesting. Yes, it's morally correct to protest, but there's nothing else to make the audience understand why they're in the right to oppose pollution. Considering how this was meant to be used to educate kids on pollution, I guess I can give it a pass for at least doing a decent job getting the point across, even if I personally would have given more of an explanation as to why the heroes are right.

What I can't give the episode a pass for is how the conflict is resolved. For an environmental PSA episode, I cannot for the life of me comprehend why the writers thought it would be a good idea for the Akuma of the week to be defeated by plastic and pollution. Like, my brother in Christ, you're supposed to teach kids about why pollution is a bad thing! Did nobody think about the implications this would bring? Actually, given the other things that happened this season, that probably checks out.

A pretty decent episode if not for the ending polluting the moral.

#3: Migration

While this one is one of the better episodes of Season 5, it still has its fair share of problems.

The most obvious one comes in the lesson its trying to teach with contrasting Bob and Jagged. It clearly wants to talk about redemption and self-improvement, but as I discussed in the overall analysis post, this show really doesn't have a good grasp on writing redemption arcs. For one thing, I really wouldn't compare Jagged becoming a better father to Bob being a selfish asshole because while Jagged abandoning his family was a terrible thing, since it was done more out of selfishness than outright malice. Bob on the other hand, is just a dick who wants to make money because this show's views on the business world make the Ferengi in Star Trek seem nuanced by comparison.

The episode spends so much more time showing how easy it is to be tricked by people rather than showing how important having trust in someone is, and it really muddles the lesson as a result. “See? Jagged changed easily, so that's a good enough reason to justify characters like Bob being irredeemably evil!” If you wanted to teach kids about trusting others, don't have it be in the same episode as the lesson about others taking advantage of your goodwill.

Putting that aside, Luka had a pretty decent swan song that tested his loyalty to Ladybug and Cat Noir. You can really buy his determination to keep their identities a secret from Monarch and his decision to leave his home to make sure this information stays a secret makes sense. Well, as long as you don't count Luka announcing the fact that he knows their identities to plenty of potential hostages and victims for Monarch, but then again, that moron never does anything smart with the intel he gets. We really needed more focus episodes showing the former temp heroes helping out Ladybug and Cat Noir in their own ways, not just having them all form a stupid resistance that does almost nothing useful all season.

The conflict with Gold Record also worked well here. I like how Monarch's simple plan to akumatize Luka turned into a plan to figure out Ladybug and Cat Noir's identities that just happened to use a different Akuma. I'd argue it was done better than in “Truth” because of how the victims aren't just forced to tell the truth, they're thrown out into space, so the stakes are pretty high. I'll admit the way they stop Gold Record is pretty anti-climactic, and you could argue Luka didn't even need to tell Ladybug he knew her identity with out easily the situation is resolved right after he's turned into a record. I think it would have worked better if Luka's secret was that he said he was jealous of Adrien for managing to be the one Marinette loves over him instead of just knowing the heroes' identities.

It's a flawed, but still okay episode to rewatch. It's a good thing Luka knew how bad this season was getting so he headed out the first chance he got. If only he stayed out of Paris instead of becoming one of Su-Han's students offscreen before the finale.

#4: Elation

You know this season is abysmal when, of all things, a Glaciator episode ends up making the top 5, and you know how much I love those episodes.

Of all the episodes to feature the Adrienette drama, I feel like this one had the best execution of it. You can really understand the emotional turmoil Marinette is going through and how hard things are for her. You also get how hard it is for Cat Noir to have to turn down the girl he loves after having so much fun with her. Remember, as far as he knows, he's taking advantage of his status as a superhero to make a move on a civilian like Marinette. The fact that he's aware of this and is willing to break it off himself is a far cry from the entitled little twerp he was last season. While I think Marichat could have been explored more, the fact that it ends here makes for a pretty solid transition into Adrienette becoming official next episode.

Alya also has some decent characterization here. Yeah, she goes against some of the things she said earlier this season, but we get a little glimmer of her Season 4 self by having her realize the error of her ways and actually make an attempt to support her friend. Of course, she goes back to the same old Season 5 Alya, but it's something.

Something I didn't really think about until after I originally posted the review was how confusing the episode's stance on shipping is. Like, we're supposed to side with Marinette and be against everyone trying to dictate who she's supposed to be in love with... but the people trying to tell her who she's in love with are technically right by pointing out her feelings for Adrien. Yes, nobody else knows that Adrien is Cat Noir, but with how much buildup Adrienette has gotten over the years, it's really confusing that the writers are acting like it's weird that people are obsessed with Marinette's love life. Pointing out how annoying Alya and Andre are by refusing to believe Marinette could have feelings for someone who isn't Adrien is basically the pot calling the kettle black.

Maybe if this was a Season 2 or 3 episode focusing on Marinette's growing feelings for Luka, this kind of story could have worked, but as it stands, it's a very confusing stance for the writers to take. Overall, a pretty decent episode.

#5: Evolution

It's the first part of what I like to call the “Remember When This Season Looked Kinda Promising?” Trilogy.

This episode really seemed like there was going to be a change in direction for Season 5 with how it was structured. Rather than immediately go back to the Akuma of the week formula, the characters, for the most part, make choices most people would make if they were in their shows. What does Gabriel do as soon as he gets all the Miraculous in the Miracle Ball? He whips out the Rabbit Miraculous and immediately decides to travel through time to get Ladybug and Cat Noir's Miraculous before they can even stop him. The best part is that Ladybug almost immediately catches onto Monarch's plan and isn't too confused when Bunnix shows up to bring them along. Of course, both Ladybug and Monarch still do stupid things that contradict these smart decisions, but it's the thought that counts.

I like how this episode is taking advantage of its premise and makes it about a race through time to stop Monarch before he screws up history. It's a decent idea to call back to older episodes, but the issue is how they don't really do much to explain why nobody noticed this. Even events where the past versions of the heroes were right there when the current versions were fighting Monarch don't get so much as a mention. I think it could have worked more if they stayed undetected, but during the chaos of the fighting, our Ladybug accidentally sets up things past Ladybug could use for her Lucky Charm. That way, it would help sell the idea of this being more of a self-contained time loop.

Something that I actually thought was clever foreshadowing was when Monarch went back in time to save Emilie. He doesn't just steal the Peacock Miraculous or tell his past self to not use it. He specifically plans to give instructions to fix the broken Peacock Miraculous, as if to say one of its creations is too important to be erased from history...

Speaking of Sentimonsters, Cat Noir and Ladybug have some good teamwork here, confirming that we're finally done with the Cat Dour drama from last season. While I feel like it could have been handled better, I like the idea of Ladybug's guilt being what motivated her to trust Cat Noir with the Rabbit Miraculous, and when they go to see the younger version of Master Fu, they feel more like equals while choosing a Miraculous.

So with all the positive things I had to say, why isn't this episode higher on the list. Well, the thing is that when there weren't moments I enjoyed, most of my thoughts on this episode were like this:

A good chunk of the episode is the characters making stupid decision after stupid decision in order to make sure we get twenty-six more episodes. I can at least buy Monarch getting overconfident with all the new Miraculous he has, but Ladybug and Cat Noir don't get that excuse. They get a total of five chances to get back the Miraculous, but other than just getting the Rabbit back, Ladybug keeps choosing to say she's going to take the Miraculous back instead of just GRABBING THEM FIRST AND THEN GLOATING. There are James Bond villains who think you're taking too long. We're really supposed to see Monarch as a threat when the only reason why he keeps getting away is because the heroes are too stupid to do what any sensible person would do in their position. Seriously, if the Winx Club were the ones chasing Monarch throughout history, they'd most likely be spending more time discussing who's paying for milkshakes after they drop his bruised and battered body off at the police station.

And then there's Monarch himself, who has to be told to go back and save his wife instead of getting the Miraculous to make a wish. The episode tries to imply that Gabriel has more selfish intentions, but the finale pretty much throws that away and makes it so he just misses his wife. I'll give you a moment to process the shock of this show setting up a character arc and doing nothing with it. The fact that he blames Ladybug for his own mistakes is pretty much the only thing that connects the two, since Ladybug acts like Monarch is too powerful to stop in a fight when she kept screwing up chances to take back the Miraculous.

I also really don't like the way Master Fu and Alix were used in this episode. For one thing, if Ladybug and Cat Noir can easily use time travel to borrow Miraculous from the younger Fu, why can't they just do that until they stop Monarch? Yeah, they gave the Rabbit Miraculous to Alix, but why can't they just call her up to go to Fu for some Miraculous Ladybug and Cat Noir need? Speaking of, is nobody going to acknowledge the fact that Alix was just forced to become Bunnix after getting the Rabbit Miraculous? Last season made a big deal about how stressful Marinette becoming the Guardian was, and now we're just okay with Alix being forced to bear what is arguably an even bigger burden?

Overall, while not a terrible start to the season, it still had a lot to work on while still having its fair share of positive moments.

#6: Destruction

Much like with “Evolution”, there seemed to be some improvement here on the writing and characterization, but fell apart towards the end.

I like how Marinette, Alya, and Cat Noir all work together to outsmart Monarch with Alya distracting him long enough to follow the trap Ladybug and Cat Noir set up for him. It's a pretty clever gambit, and it's nice that Cat Noir actually gets to play a part in it. “Evolution” showed that Monarch was too powerful to take on in a fight, so a battle of wits is the best option to stop him, something that fits Ladybug perfectly.

I also like how, once again, the writers explain why Monarch can't use something as powerful as the Rooster Miraculous to win, even if it's a really stupid explanation. But hey, I'm just some moron who thinks that the Rooster Miraculous shouldn't be a diet version of the Power Cosmic.

Something that was very clever was the reveal of the episode taking place before a previous episode, “Multiplication”. It adds rewatch value to earlier episodes, it allows kids watching to figure out what happened without explaining every single part of the twist, and it's something this season really should have done more often.

However, that's where my compliments end here. The main problem with this episode is how the climax pretty much ruins the clever plan Ladybug set up. She takes forever to explain her plan to Monarch in great detail, and we're supposed to be surprised that Monarch managed to escape. She didn't even think to just pull off his Miraculous first and then gloat about how awesome she is. Hell, she somehow showed more concern over Monarch escaping thanks to her incompetence instead of Cat Noir accidentally Cataclysming him. But then again, this is the same person who will try to Cataclysm Monarch several times in the season finale. Something that's also weird is that they set up the idea of Monarch escaping with the Lucky Charm, but nothing ever comes of it. You'd think it would be important with how much emphasis is put on nothing else being able to heal Gabriel, but it's never mentioned in the season finale. It could have been an easy way to show Marinette resolving the conflict, by healing her greatest enemy and giving him the chance to better himself... instead of having Gabriel die and Marinette choosing to wash her hands of the whole “I let the universe end” thing.

This episode also showed just how forgettable the Kwamis are as characters. The show wants to make a big deal about how cruel Gabriel is to have control over them, but none of them have any real personality other than “Annoying toddler on a sugar high”. Even putting aside how insufferable they were last season, there's just not enough in this episode to really get you invested in their plight. Not even Trixx, the Kwami who got the most screentime other than Tikki and Plagg last season, gets a single line here.

This episode had promise, but the way it fumbled the landing really ruined it for me.

#7: Multiplication

I swear, I didn't intend for the first three episodes of Season 5 to be ranked like this in chronological order of all things. It was a happy accident, almost miraculous if you will.

Anyway, this episode was okay. It was a decent follow-up to “Evolution”. I like how it's more of a slow character piece for Marinette as she tries to deal with her guilt and conflicting feelings for Adrien after the betrayal. This was the few episodes that I feel really nailed the emotional moments with Marinette this season. There's no overdramatic dialogue, there's no exclusive focus on Adrien (at least at first), and it's played 100% seriously. I also thought it was a decent idea to have the people of Paris prepare for the worst with Monarch, even if it went nowhere. Even the Akuma was handled pretty well, as it allowed the writers to show off the gimmick this season with Ikari Gozen using Multiplication while Ladybug and Cat Noir get to show actual teamwork for a change.

But the problem with this episode was how nobody really seemed to care about the threat Monarch poses. Not only does Alya go back caring more about Marinette's love life, not only does everyone else in Paris seem to forget about Monarch after a few weeks, but Adrien's only role this episode is to realize his feelings for Marinette instead of thinking about the role he also played in Monarch getting all the other Miraculous. Yeah, who cares about serious introspection from someone who spent an entire season trying to show he's just as capable a hero as his partner while inadvertently being part of the reason why she lost her other allies? I want to see him try to kiss someone multiple times without their consent!

And yeah, let's talk about the kissing joke and how it's more than just unfunny, it's almost disgusting with how it's presented. We're supposed to laugh at Marinette for resisting Adrien's attempts to kiss her multiple times when she has every right to not want to be kissed without her consent. The entire joke is that it's happening just as Marinette is trying to get over her feelings for Adrien, but even if she still liked him, it's still against her consent Remember, this is the same show that tried to teach kids about the importance of consent in episodes like “Felix” and “Lies”, yet it never applied to Adrien in this episode, to the point where Alya tries to restrain Marinette so she can't resist or run away.

“But IOTA! It's a cultural thing in France!” Fine, maybe it is, but there's three problems with that. First, Adrien made it clear that he sees Marinette purely in a romantic light, not just as a acquaintance. Second, even if it was meant to be platonic, he didn't do it with Alya or Nino. Finally, if Marinette didn't want to be kissed the first time, that should have been it.

I don't care how socially stunted Adrien is, or how much everyone in the entire world ships Adrientte, if you see someone looking like this when someone is trying to kiss them:

DON'T SMILE, AND MAKE THAT PERSON RESPECT HER PERSONAL SPACE!

It's just such a terrible joke to make, and it this is coming from the season that tries to tackle serious issues like mental health and child abuse. How this episode didn't run into controversy like “Ephemeral” did, I'll never know. Just not a good episode, yet somehow, this still made the top ten.

#8: Perfection

This is an episode that had a decent Akuma, a pretty wholesome resolution, and... uh... Yeah, that's about it.

Of all the Kagami-centric episodes the show has ever done, this is the one that really shows us how she thinks. Because of the high standards her mother places on her, she believes that she can't have friends, and she has only herself to rely on. I like how rather than just default to her being constantly angry while akumatized, she's much more depressed, and most of the damage she causes is unintentional. Granted, I don't get how Monarch thought a giant cloud monster who can't see a thing will be able to get Ladybug and Cat Noir's Miraculous, but I still like how Ryukomori is presented.

On the other hand, despite being a Kagami focused episode, the writers somehow forgot what Kagami was like. She's usually a no-nonsense person who can see through lies and deception with ease, like what happened when she dumped Adrien in “Lies”. Here, she takes things so literally thanks to Lila's “friendship test”, I'm pretty sure Amelia Bedelia would tell her stop taking things so literally. The fact that this isn't just a one-off occurrence doesn't help at all.

If there's anything I could take away from rewatching this episode, it's that I finally understand the problem with this show's humor. The cow bit made me realize just how often this show will drag out its jokes to pad out the runtime, and the cow joke is a perfect example. It's mentioned a total of five times during the first half of the episode. It would have been just an unfunny joke if it was just a one-time thing, but the writers will take a joke and repeat it multiple times until it becomes incredibly annoying. It's like if Patrick kept asking Squidward if mayonnaise was an instrument in that one SpongeBob episode. The joke stops being funny if you keep reusing it over and over again in such a short timeframe.

The song Adrien sung before the Akuma was also incredibly forgettable and comes out of nowhere. I don't even get why they had him do this when Luka is usually characterized as the musician. Even Marinette is surprised Adrien can suddenly sing. Besides, I think we can all agree on what the perfect love song that would sweep Marinette off her feet is.

But yeah, for an episode titled “Perfection”, it's anything but.

#9: Protection

Again, I didn't intend for the direct follow-up to “Perfection” to be ranked right below it. I also want to clear up any confusion people have with this one, since Season 5's episode titles have been hard to memorize for some people. “Perfection” was an episode where Kagami got akumatized thanks to Lila's lies, only for Ladybug to peacefully resolve the conflict thanks to the power of friendship. “Protection” was an episode where Kagami got akumatized thanks to Lila's lies, only for Ladybug to treat her like any other Akuma because the power of friendship was meaningless. I hope I made things easier for you.

This is such a nothing episode. Pretty much everything that happens here is either reused from previous episodes or will continue to be used for the rest of the season. Gabriel tries to break up Adrienette, Lila is a liar, and Kagami is an idiot. There's just nothing to talk about here. The only thing that really stands out for me is the brief moments Marinette and Adrien shared as a couple. They're cute and have believable chemistry, but they're so few and far between. Nothing is accomplished in this episode, and even the stuff with Kagami and Lila is pretty much dropped after this.

Even the Akuma was forgettable. It's just Riposte with a meat cleaver and a diet version of Penalteam's powers. It lacks the emotional weight the resolution with Ryukomori had. It feels like these episodes were meant to be the same one, but were split up to fill the 26 episode count. Overall, just a boring episode, yet still one of the season's better outings if you can believe it.

#10: Jubilation

Yes, this is the one that made the top ten. I'm just as surprised as you are.

Putting aside the dream scene, the episode had some decent ideas, like Marinette struggling to deal with the stress that comes with being Ladybug, and other ways Gabriel can use the Alliance rings to his advantage. Even Cat Noir's emotional reaction to having to leave the dream was decently executed, even if there was no buildup to it. This is the kind of stuff I think we should have gotten more of this season, more character focus and Gabriel actually being a competent villain.

With that being said, there's still a lot of problems here. Socqueline comes out of nowhere, Mr. Damocles' portrayal here doesn't match up with how he is in other episodes this season (much less “Derision”, Socqueline's only other episode), and the dream sequence was creepy as all hell because the animators didn't have enough money to design older models for Ladybug and Cat Noir so they wouldn't be teen parents.

Just an average episode with a few memorable parts, for better or for worse.

#11: Reunion

Riddle me this, my dear readers: How do you write an episode where you want to utilize a fictional version of Joan of Arc, but can't include the visions from God or how she was burned at the stake, the two most well-known things about her? The answer? Turn her into a generic knight who speaks broken English even though she's supposed to be French, duh!

I don't know how you manage to take a concept like Joan of Arc being a former superhero and screw it up this much. She's pretty much only there to bitch and moan at Marinette, essentially body shames Adrien, and only becomes relevant because the Akuma of the week happened to be asking questions about history.

There really could have been done more with the Reunion concept, but this is the only time this season where it's used, and I'm sure it has nothing to do that Joan of Arc's model was used in “Ephemeral”. But when has the show ever come up with excuses to reuse older models this season? I mean, besides young Master Fu in “Evolution”, the other temp heroes in “Determination”, Mister Bug and Lady Noire in “Passion”, and Scarabella in “Revelation” that is.

This episode also tries to tackle conspiracy theorists with Jalil, but it fails because you understand where he's coming from. He is literally the only character in the entire show to think, “Hey, isn't it kind of fucked up that my little sister was forced to become a guardian of time before she graduated middle school while not even getting to say goodbye to me, her only brother?” Yes, the moral isn't a bad one, but Jalil isn't wrong to be paranoid about Ladybug given how she evidently never talked to him about this, much less give Bunnix the chance to say goodbye herself.

The Akuma also really made no sense for Jalil. If he's supposed to be seeking the truth, why is he asking random historical trivia questions? How does knowing the year Sputnik was launched into space relevant to finding out if Ladybug is honest or not? It's almost like the writers have already created multiple Akumas with powers connected to honesty, so this is an overused idea (Oni-Chan, Truth, Lies).

It's just a very forgettable episode, much like how much the writers just forgot the Reunion idea for the rest of the season. Seriously, did anyone remember Plagg gave Adrien a Kwagatama at the end of this one?

#12: Passion

In my opinion, this was the episode that set up two of the biggest problems with Season 5: Extremely contrived Love Square drama and Nathalie's incompetence preventing her from ending the conflict then and there.

While I'm glad we're finally getting a Nathalie focused episode, the issue I have with it is just how the writers are clearly trying to portray her with Adrien's best interests in mind, she still doesn't do anything to actually stop Gabriel other than complaining about how evil Gabriel is while still going along with his plans. She willingly accepts an Akuma from the same man she's claims she's protecting Adrien from and still follows his plans for absolutely no reason. Why Gabriel still keeps her around, much less trusts her with an Akuma, is beyond me.

Rewatching this episode made me realize just how pointless Nathalie is this season. It feels like the writers needed to have Nathalie oppose Gabriel but didn't know how to do that without having her rat him out to Ladybug and Cat Noir. All they really had to do was have her fall into the same coma Emilie is in, and it would not only take her out of the picture. That way, it would remove any concern that Nathalie could expose Gabriel and it would better justify Tomoe's inclusion this season. Instead, a good chunk of this episode is Nathalie and Gabriel making it clear that they hate each other while still choosing to work together for no reason.

The actual backstory for Nathalie was okay. I like how she's more than just some secretary who was informed of the Miraculous and later teamed up with Gabriel, instead being a treasure hunter who specializes in locating magical artifacts like the Miraculous. It's a clever bit of character development and I like how it ties into her Akuma form for the episode. Of course, it's somewhat ruined by the fact that we still don't know why Gabriel and Emilie wanted to find the Miraculous in the first place, not even after five seasons.

Putting aside Nathalie generally being an idiot, the rest of the episode was pretty mediocre. It's more Love Square drama, with Marinette's concerns about how her feelings for Adrien led to Monarch getting fifteen Miraculous being brushed aside as her denying how she really feels. Only now, the episode is going out of its way to make it seem like all Marinette can do is all but lust over whoever she's in love with, in this case, Cat Noir/Mister Bug. Because actually acknowledging character flaws and how they affect the narrative while playing them for laughs is how Miraculous Ladybug rolls. Decades from now, episodes like this will be commonplace, I just know it.

The Akuma fight was also pretty lackluster. I don't get why Safari's arrows only targeted Ladybug and Cat Noir, and only Ladybug and Cat Noir while they were transformed instead of, you know, targeting their Miraculous. It just felt like a cheap excuse to get some more mileage out of the Mister Bug and Lady Noire models. Well, that, and more of Lady Noire prioritizing her romantic feelings over the mission at hand.

While I can appreciate the attempt to flesh out Nathalie's character, it's not enough to salvage this episode.

#13: Deflagration

Before I start this section, can anyone tell me why the hell it's named a chemistry term of all things?

The wiki claims that it's referencing what Tikki and Plagg do in the episode, but I don't think that continuously creating and destroying stuff counts as deflagration. Then again, I'm some schmuck on the internet, not a chemist.

Anyway, this episode is clearly trying to come across as an event, but nothing is really accomplished here. Marinette and Adrien already got together in the last episode, the Akuma didn't do anything to advance Monarch's plan, Zoe's character development as Kitty Noire is nonexistent, Alya being exposed for the third time ends up being pointless since Scarabella appears in “Revelation” a few episodes later, and no progress is made in stopping Monarch. It's just one big fight scene that lacks real tension because Monarch is reduced to a joke in this episode.

Monarch is seriously dogpiled by several middle school students, and the show still expects us to take him seriously as a villain. I can at least buy Sole Destroyer, given how Chloe is supposed to be seen as harmless sometimes, but the main villain getting beaten by kids with no superpowers? It just really breaks the suspension of disbelief. It'd be like if Kevin McCallister somehow defeated Godzilla with one of his traps. You're not impressed by Kevin taking him down, you're asking why Godzilla went down so easily.

This was the episode where the writers started making dumb blonde jokes by making it so Chloe doesn't understand the meaning of the word “Generous”, and it's just as unfunny as it sounds. Not only is this hypocritical because this “girl power” show is now using one of the most misogynistic writing tropes in history, it's the same episode with a title named after a chemical reaction that most children watching don't understand. Chloe didn't even serve a purpose this episode because nobody ever fought Sole Destroyer onscreen. It's just another “Ha! She's blonde and rich, so that means she's dumb!” joke... which came before a certain episode that showed her as being capable of pulling off several complex schemes to torment Marinette.

I also love how despite making a big deal about them being worthy to be Ladybug and Cat Noir's replacements last episode, Alya and Zoe are taken out of commission before the action even starts. I feel like the episode could have at least been elevated if Alya and Zoe at least tried to help. It would have better justified them temporarily replacing Ladybug and Cat Noir instead of the cheap ratings grab it was.

But yeah, it's a pretty dull episode, and the only reason why I don't have more to say is because the first part has more glaring issues in my eyes.

Part 2

[brodygold]

A Game For Bros

Nate and I had always been the same: two nerds, caught up in our own world of video games, D&D, and sci-fi movies. He’d been my best friend since high school, a skinny guy with messy brown hair, always wearing some oversized t-shirt of a superhero. Me? I wasn’t much different. Shorter, stockier, and always in retro game tees. We never got into sports—couldn’t care less, really. But that Saturday, when Nate invited me over to check out a new game, we did something a bit out of our comfort zone.

“I don’t usually go for sports games,” I said as I plopped onto his worn-out couch. The game case for The Golden Army: Rise of Champions sat on the coffee table, glowing in a strange golden light. “What made you pick this one?”

Nate shrugged as he plugged in the system. “The reviews were insane, man. People say it’s super immersive, like you actually feel the game.”

“Sounds cool enough,” I muttered, grabbing a soda. “Let’s see what it’s about.”

Nate’s apartment looked the same as always—cluttered with comic books, action figures, and old consoles. The screen flashed on, bathing the room in golden light as the title appeared: The Golden Army: Rise of Champions. The graphics were sharp, but what immediately caught my attention was how detailed the avatar customization was. We both laughed as we started making characters that were basically us but... stronger, taller, more athletic.

“Man, I wish I was this ripped in real life,” I said, chuckling as I bulked up my avatar.

Nate nodded, not looking up from his controller. “Same here, dude. If only, right?”

Once the game started, though, things got weird fast. It wasn’t like any sports game I’d ever played. It was too smooth, too real. Every movement of my character felt like it was coming from me, like my body was somehow connected to the screen. Nate was feeling it too; I could tell by how focused he’d gotten.

“This feels insane,” I muttered, my fingers flying over the controller as my avatar sprinted down the field. My skin tingled, and for a second, I thought it was just adrenaline from getting into the game.

“Yeah, it’s like... I can *feel* it,” Nate said, his voice lower, more serious than usual.

What I didn’t realize was that I really *was* feeling it. I was changing. My arms, once stocky but kind of soft, were slowly growing harder, leaner, and stronger. My biceps pushed against the fabric of my t-shirt, but I didn’t notice at first. I was too absorbed in the game. Nate wasn’t paying attention either, but he was changing too. His scrawny arms were swelling, his chest growing more defined, the lines of muscle slowly becoming visible under his shirt.

My legs were thickening, my calves bulging as they hardened. Nate’s shoulders broadened as his posture straightened, more relaxed, confident. His shaggy hair started to shift, styling itself into something neater and more athletic. It suited him.

Our avatar dominated the field. Every pass, every kick felt like it was coming straight from us. By the time the match ended, I noticed my t-shirt was stretched tight against my chest, clinging to muscles I didn’t remember having. But it felt normal. Like I’d always been this way. Nate was the same. His shirt had morphed into something sleeker, a fitted gold soccer jersey. I looked down, realizing mine had changed too. I wasn’t in my retro game tee anymore—I was in a gold jersey too, my name stitched across the back.

But we didn’t freak out. We didn’t question it. Why would we? We’d always been jocks, right? That’s how we met in the first place.

“Yo, that was sick, bro!” I grinned at Nate, flexing my now-defined arms. “We totally crushed that game.”

Nate smirked, his voice deeper now, his body lean and athletic. “Hell yeah, man. No one can take us down.”

The room around us had changed too, though we didn’t notice with how invested in the game we were. Gone were the stacks of comics and games. Instead, soccer trophies lined the shelves, photos of us in our golden jerseys, posing as champions of The Golden Army. It was as if our old lives had been erased, replaced entirely by something new.

As we kept playing, our minds continued to shift. I didn’t care about D&D or sci-fi movies anymore. All I could think about was training, getting stronger, being the best. Nate, once shy and quiet, was now exuding confidence. We were athletes, teammates, brothers on and off the field.

Our bodies had finished transforming. I looked over at Nate, admiring how ripped he was now. His short hair was clean, his jawline sharp. He looked... good. Really good. The thought lingered longer than it should have, but I didn’t push it away. Why would I? We’d always been close, but now there was something else there, something that had shifted between us.

I felt my heart race as I caught him looking at me the same way, his eyes lingering on my chest, my arms. The air between us felt electric, like something was pulling us together.

“Yo, Nate,” I started, feeling my pulse quicken. “You ever feel like... there’s more between us than just the game?”

Nate turned to me, his eyes locked on mine, and for a moment, the room was silent. Then he smirked, but there was something softer in his gaze. “Yeah, bro. I’ve been feeling that too.”

It happened without thinking. I reached out, grabbing his hand, and suddenly, I was pulling him closer. Our eyes met, and before I could stop myself, I kissed him. His lips were warm, firm, and everything clicked into place. It was like this was always meant to happen. Like this was who we were supposed to be.

When we finally pulled away, both of us were breathing hard. Nate looked at me, his grin returning. “Damn, bro. That was... intense.”

“Yeah,” I replied, still catching my breath. “But I think we’ve always had this, right? Just took us a while to figure it out.”

Nate nodded, his hand still on my chest, his thumb brushing against the fabric of my jersey. “Always. And now? We’ve got everything we need.”

We leaned in again, and this time, it felt even more right. We were no longer the nerdy duo, lost in games and fantasy worlds. We were champions—alpha jocks, leaders of The Golden Army—and we had found each other. As I held Nate close, our golden jerseys shining in the light, I knew that everything was just how it should be.

“Now how about round 2, bro?”

“Oh, you’re so on bro!”

[beautification-tales]

The Tapes part 1

A slow burn transformation story

“It’s quite simple Linda. The tapes should remove your anxiety and fear.” Brian said as he pushed his glasses up his nose. Linda looked at him then at the floor at her ballet flats. “You.. really think it can help me?”

Linda and Brian had been friends since childhood. They definitely were textbook geeks. They even dressed like nerds from a 1980’s movie. Linda had auburn hair and she was wearing a pair of thick-rimmed glasses that pressed on her nose. Her sweaters and skirts were cute but did nothing for her plain face and body. Brian and Linda were no stranger to bullying. They were both bullied for being too smart and too socially awkward. They found solace in each other and often would spend hours together discussing their favorite books and movies.

Brian over the years was able to find confidence and self-assurance, but Linda never quite found it. She was always anxious and nervous, especially around new people. Her lack of confidence had started to affect her life, even in the one place where she thought she was safe: school. The large classes at college were becoming too much for her to handle. Brian googled how to handle anxiety and found a website that sold the tapes. Brian spent hours reading the reviews and was blown away. The tapes were always successful and the clients not only lost anxiety but actually thrived.

Brian passed the book of tapes to her. “Yes, they should work. The only weird thing is that they said they can only be on cassettes. They seem to be an old-fashioned kind of company.” Linda smiled weakly, taking the book. She flipped through the tapes, noting their titles: "Confidence Boosters," "Standing Out," "Overcoming Social Anxiety," "Grabbing Attention ." Each one sounded too good to be true. She glanced up at Brian, who was watching her expectantly. "Okay," she said finally, "I'll try them."

Linda went home and found an old Walkman that belonged to her father. She decided to take the first tape hoping to boost her confidence. She took the old headphones and placed them over her ears as she pressed play. The hissing of the cassette filled her ears. The voice on the tape was soft, soothing, and calming. It was definitely a woman, but her voice had been altered in some way. It was as if she was speaking from a great distance, and yet she seemed to be right there in the room with Linda.

The affirmations seemed basic as Linda began to repeat them. She felt foolish at first, but as she continued, she found herself nodding along with the woman on the tape. "I am confident," she repeated, feeling the words begin to sink in. "I am in control of my life." The more she repeated them, the more she started to believe them. Her shoulders relaxed, and she felt a sense of peace wash over her. She closed her eyes, letting the voice of the woman guide her through a series of deep breathing exercises.

Linda listened closely as she imagined herself as a more confident woman. “Stop being afraid Linda!” the voice on the tape said, interrupting her thoughts. Linda’s eyes opened as she pressed stop and rewind. Linda pressed play “You do not need to be afraid. You can live your life.” The woman continued, and Linda listened intently. She felt a surge of determination as the words sank in. She closed her eyes again, imagining herself in a classroom, speaking up and participating without fear.

The next day Linda met Brian on campus. She surprised him with a strong hug. “Brian! I listened to one tape all night. I went to class and I wasn’t nervous at all!” she gushed. Brian smiled and pushed his glasses up his nose. “That’s awesome! First we get you comfortable in class and next maybe other crowded places like theaters or concerts.” Linda nodded with a huge smile. “Are you asking me out on a date Brian?” she teased. He blushed and laughed.

That night Linda put in tape two as she put new batteries in the Walkman. “These old things are a pain.” she muttered as she put on the headphones. The hissing started again and the soft feminine voice began. Linda listened to the tape about standing out and grabbing attention. She imagined herself walking with confidence, her head held high. The affirmations made her feel powerful and in control.

“Yes Linda did you see how you made Brian blush today? Don’t fear your power! Use it! Embrace it! It’s time to be what you truly want to be!” Linda’s eyes opened as she jerked up from her bed. She had fallen asleep listening to the tapes. Linda’s heart was pounding as she gasped trying to catch her breath. It was like when she felt frightened before but something was different. She put her hand over her heart and felt her chest vibrate. The feeling was amazing. Linda felt so alive as she decided to go for a walk.

The fresh air felt amazing on her skin as she found herself on the Main Street. All the stores and businesses were closed as it was late. The streetlights cast long shadows across the empty parking lot, revealing a dimly lit entrance to a bar. The neon sign above the door read "The Den of Iniquity." Linda hesitated for a moment, feeling curious as she felt her heart beat quickly.

She took a deep breath and walked inside. The smell of stale smoke and alcohol assailed her senses. The dim lighting made it difficult to see clearly, but she could make out a long bar on the left, a few booths scattered about, and a small stage in the back. A lone figure was playing pool. As she took a step forward, she felt so out of place.

The bartender, a tall, burly man with a five o'clock shadow, approached her. "What can I get you, sweetheart?" he asked, his voice rough with cigarette smoke. “Umm can I get a …” Linda wasn’t sure what to say as she never had alcohol. “She’ll just have a beer Terry.” The lone figure from the pool table came close. “And it’s on me”

Linda looked at him with surprise. The man was handsome in a rugged sort of way, his dark hair messy, his eyes sparkling with mischief. He was wearing a leather jacket, jeans, and a black t-shirt. He smiled at her. "We definitely don’t get your type often in this place.” He gestured to the stool beside him. Linda sat down and replied “Women?” The man shook his head. “People who never been in a bar before.”

Linda sat and drank the beer. She learned the man’s name was Dave. He was a member in the local motorcycle club. He flirted with her and teased her for the innocence that she displayed. She was surprised when he offered her a ride home. Linda agreed as she got on the back of his motorcycle. The wind brushing against her face, the feel of the bike beneath her, and the warmth of Dave's body next to her made her feel alive. She bit her lip as a new sensation overcame her.

She felt a bit unsteady as she stepped of his bike. Dave smiled at her as she felt her heart beat faster. She walked quickly to her home as she felt her thigh muscles quiver. Linda crawled into bed as placed her head on the pillow. She put her headphones on as she listened to the affirmations.

Linda’s mind raced as she listened to the words as she recalled her little adventure. She smiled as she closed her eyes knowing she was becoming more confident. The tape’s voice got quieter as Linda’s imagination grew louder. “Yes Linda! You already so much more confident! You flirted with a man tonight.” Linda nodded her head in agreement with the voice in her head.

She thought back to the bar and the way Dave made her feel. The wind in her hair, the freedom of riding on the back of his motorcycle. It was exhilarating and she wanted to feel that way again. The voice in her head continued, "He was interested in you Linda, you could see it in his eyes." She couldn't help but blush at the memory.

Linda felt that new sensation again as it grew stronger. She felt a new need to increase it. She traced her hand against her thigh and trembled. The memory of the motorcycle against her thighs returned. Linda plunged two fingers into her wet pussy.

Linda shook violently as she felt electricity flow to her toes. She arched her back and moaned into the pillow as her hips bucked against her hand. The tension in her body was almost unbearable as she imagined herself on the back of the motorcycle again. She couldn't help but picture Dave's strong arms wrapped around her, guiding her through the wind. Her fingers dug deeper into her wetness, seeking release from the overwhelming desire that consumed her.

“Oh, oh, oh! Ohhh Fuck!” Linda’s voice lowered an octave as it sounded sultry as she muttered profanity. Her hand movement increased speed as she felt her body getting close to something. Something she had never felt before. Something she wanted to feel again. Her hips moved rhythmically as she grinded against her palm. Her fingers dug deeper, her body arched and trembled.

Linda felt a release, a release of all the tension, all the longing, all the desire that had been building inside her. Her fingers slid against her wetness as she orgasmed. She moaned loudly, her head thrown back, her eyes closed tightly. Tears streamed down her face as she came undone, as her body shook uncontrollably.

Linda collapsed and quickly fell asleep as the tape continued to play affirmations in her ears.

[rayisemo]

Webtoon comics I think are underrated.

Now, I just want to make it clear that when I say “underrated” I don’t mean as if it isn’t heard of or been read, just that it’s underrated in the sense that nobody talks about it, makes posts about it, fanfics, fan arts, etc.

…and if you haven’t read these then I highly recommend you do!!! It’s so worth it, trust! I’ll add in a little review too!

1. DEATH: Rescheduled (Thriller)

The story in short is about a world where you have the Kill Law, a law where you are legally allowed to kill one person a year, no consequences. However the “Penny” Kreyul and his friends disagree with the Kill Law and are going to put an end to it no matter what.

Death: rescheduled had me so captivated that I refused to sleep before I finished reading. I even spent money on this shit because it was so entrancing! My favourite episode was by far 66, it was so funny and it builds up ships and just pure wholesomeness of the group.

The characters all have great personalities, the story is amazing and omg the art is so beautiful. You’ll love it.

2. Sable Curse (Fantasy)

This story follows a young girl named Tarron, a girl who is cursed and will die in 6 months. Her (honestly abusive) parents decide to take her and her sister to a holiday retreat. There she ends up finding new friends, herself, potential love, and maybe even a cure for her curse. But as it turns out, she’s not the only one cursed either.

This story is amazing! The art is wonderful, the characters are perfect, some we hate, some we love. We learn throughout the story more about this curse, and even about this special holiday retreat. There is so much mystery to uncover and it is one of my favourite webcomics.

Now, I’ve heard that most people have actually read it, but I encourage that we make a proper fandom for this series!

3. Marionetta (Fantasy)

Two best friends decide to go out and visit the travelling circus. However after a while Julia’s best friend Kamille disappears. Julia is determined to find her again and hunts down the circus, where her best friend is now living. Julia is still going to bring her home and end up losing something very valuable. Her life. For this circus is for the dead. Now Julia has to uncover the true secrets behind the circus whilst still trying to bring her and Kamille home. Will she manage? Or will she have to kill Anthonn Gremminger to save her life?

When I tell you this webcomic is a roller coaster of emotions. There are plenty of ships to chase, characters to stan, and many theories to explore. I love this webcomic so bloody much and I was actually surprised that there wasn’t a lot posted about it.

This is such a cool and dark story, with lovely and cute art. I could talk about it for hours.

4. After School Activities For Unripe Apples (Drama)

A wholesome slow burn between Mi-ae and an old childhood friend, Cheol. When another year starts and Mi-ae needs to take school more seriously the son of the family friends shows up in her class, but now seen as Lucifer, a hostile boy who ends fights - but is that the boy Mi-ae remembers? Who she know knows and loves?

This is a cute, funny and entertaining webcomic. You would think that things would be so simple, however due to school, parents, and other issues the characters face of themselves and others, it is difficult to understand and accept your own feelings. This is exactly why I love this series so much, it’s relatable and adorable. We especially love Mi-ae.

There are a few fanfics out there, but honestly where is the love it deserves??

5. My universe (Romance)

Apart from the normal college life Hayeon lives, she has this special gift.. she can communicate with the universe. She ends up communicating with an alien, who she gives the name Ujun. They want to be able to actually meet each other, but alas that is nearly impossible. But imagine the surprise when Ujun ends up taking over the body of one of Hayeons classmates, and crush, Hyeonsu. Now they must figure out a way to send him back whilst still spending some time together. However the peacefulness and secrets can’t be kept as the aliens are taking over. What will Hayeon do now? And can she even trust Ujun anymore?

Now this story deserves its own universe fr. The art is super cute as is the story, however things get more complicated as the story progresses. When I was still reading this the first thing I would do in the morning is read the next episode as soon as I got the daily pass because it was so good! Obviously I’m not going to spoil the ending, however the waves of emotions this series brings you is inhuman.

All in all it’s a fantastic webcomic that deserves so much love and attention!

6. Stray Souls (Fantasy)

In a world of magic and string weaving, some are fortunate and some are not. Eylin isn’t particularly good at string weaving, however that doesn’t stop her and her friends from stopping the wicked and doomed Amethyst King. Follow along the difficulty journey with friendship, love, and a whole lot of mystery. But what is it all worth in the end?

Holy moly this story is AMAZING. The plot is genius and the art is fantastic, the characters are so original and all have such amazing personalities!! Although, it’s a bit hard to keep track of them all😭 still love them all.

All in all it’s so amazing and has so much potential to be incredibly popular, yet there is no fandom!? Give it attention!!

7. Spirit Fingers (Drama)

Adorable Amy Song is incredibly self conscious and insecure. She has no support and no confidences, however after stumbling upon an art club drawing each other and their wacky poses - she ends up becoming their model too. After meeting a cute guy and getting his number she enters the group herself! This group accepts her with love and so much care, and she finally starts to feel more confident in herself and her art! She might even get a boyfriend!

This is quite literally the cutest and most heartwarming webcomic I’ve read in a while. And there is no one talking about it!!’ It’s been around for sooooo long too!!! When I tell you I cry, and laugh, and smile so hard at every chapter!! If you love a heartwarming, coming of age, and found family comic - then this is perfect!! And the art is beautiful!! It’s a perfect read for artists!!

Miss Amy is literally so relatable for those who don’t feel very pretty or have any sorts of insecurities regarding looks or academics. It’s a beautiful, long, and mostly free (if you’re fine with ads) comic, and it’s the best thing I’ve ever found.

Now! So far this are all the webcomics that come to mind! I think all of these are great and I just know that so many more will enjoy these if they gave them a chance.

I’d love to talk about these with other people, and I’d even love it if others would like to share some webcomics they believe are underrated too.

All of these comics are from Webtoon, and are so worth your time! Please let me know if there was anything I missed.

(I might add more in the future 😉)

Edit: sadly the pictures are now a little awkward and too big for my liking… but I hit the limit of 10 pictures 😔🙏

💗- Anyways lots of love!

[burning-academia-if]

Bonus Short Story: Zoe

Word Count: 4.6k

Summary: Snapshots from the life of a child who used curiosity to escape loneliness.

CW: brief mentions of transphobia

A/N: Thanks again for one hundred reviews and enjoy Zoe's backstory! It's the lightest of all of them, and also has some fun lore bits tossed in lol

Zoe hadn’t always been their name, and sometimes they wondered if they’d gotten it right. Their old name isn’t relevant to the story, except in the very beginning. When, at a very young age with a vocabulary so limited that they had to mime with their tiny hands the concepts they were trying to tell adults about, the sound of it had felt wrong. They didn’t have the words for why either.

In books and shows and movies, sometimes characters took on fake names for fake identities and Zoe started doing the same. They ran through names, some so utterly ridiculous it brought more joy then concern to any adult listening. Others made eyebrows draw together and wordless frowns burn their throat.

It was why, when they uttered the name ‘Zoe’ and it only got cursory shrugs they lunged for it. Gripped it with their hands. This time, maybe, people would take them seriously. This time, maybe, people wouldn’t laugh at the name they chose themself. This time, maybe, people would respect the one thing that belonged to them. But that wouldn't be until the end of youth. When it already felt far too late.

//

Zoe's mom and dad hadn't ever cared, at least. The two of them would call Zoe whatever name they wanted as seriously as they would have the name they'd originally given. There had never been any expectations for them to grow out of it, and their mom was the one who went to the teachers and told each one Zoe was allowed to write down whatever name they wanted. No teacher would tell them otherwise.

It was easy to grow, in the house they did. It was harder to grow anywhere outside of it. School was full of watching eyes that questioned everything Zoe did. They had failed every social interaction they'd ever been in and elementary school was a haphazard of pitfalls that lead straight to being the 'weird kid.'

Their little brother was different. From the moment he was born, everyone found him charming. Brighter, cuter, easier. He didn't question everything and go through names like packs of candies. Others might have been irritated, but Zoe was five years older and from the moment they'd set eyes on him decided it was their job to protect him. They didn't want him to know what it was to escape to a library to hide the way they were crying over being left out during recess again.

At home, Zoe would sit in the grass in the small garden their mom had, watching bugs flutter about. She wouldn't say a word, hair wrapped up in a bandanna, braids falling down her back and dark skin gleaming in the spring sun. Her hands were nimble as she turned the earth, covering seeds with soil.

It'd take minutes, it'd take hours, for them to finally talk, "I don't want to go to school anymore, ma."

"And why's that sweet pea?"

There was a butterfly, small and white, fluttering against the wooden fence. Lost and too early to the season. Their own body felt too small for them, ribs squeezing all their organs. Maybe it felt the same. Escaped from it's cocoon early to search for a way to be free in a different kind of form. To stretch its wings and go as far as it could before being devoured.

They were eleven now, at the end of elementary school. They couldn't imagine middle school, weren't ready for the new challenges it would come with when they hadn't even managed to overcome a single one they'd encountered in school so far. Their toes curled into the grass, rolling around words on their tongue.

"It's like...it's like everyone was born with a script to a movie except for me. I don't get the words I'm supposed to say, or why what I say is wrong. It's like...like..." Their face scrunched up, not knowing how to explain the wall they were always banging against. At how they tried to mimic how everyone spoke and interacted with each other and missed the steps each time.

Their mom set her tools down and turned to look at them, "Is this about your name again?"

"No! I mean, kinda? All the kids already thought I'm a freak because I don't use the name you and pa gave me and maybe that's where everything went wrong. Maybe I showed up wrong and so now, no matter what I say it'll be wrong. I don't know how to get the other kids to like me. I'm too scared to keep trying. I go to school and there's no one to talk to and I'm so lonely and I'm so...lonely..." Tears pricked their eyes and they buried their face in their knees. Curled themself up tight so they didn't have to see the look of pity on their mom's face.

A door slid open, and a body, tiny, crashed into theirs. They gasped, teetering over onto the grass, arm flinging out to cradle their brother without a second thought. He wrapped his arms around their middle, eyes squeezed tight.

In a daze, they looked over and saw their dad with a twist of a smile in apology and a gentle one on their mom's face. Their brother said, louder then he probably realized, "No no no. You're sad. Being sad isn't fun."

"It isn't." They said, trying not to laugh. To cry. They didn't want to talk to another soul again. They didn't have a choice.

//

They couldn't use magic, either, which felt like another mark in a sea of marks against them. When they'd gone to do the required assessment at thirteen, it'd been a whole lot of nods and 'hmms' and other things that made them feel like they were a specimen under a microscope.

"You have a stronger magical presence, but it certainly isn't something you have access to."

Didn't they know. Between their constant failures of connecting to kids at school and trying to talk with other magicians, their inability to be anything had been a barrier in all ways. Everyone knew luck magicians weren't seen as real magicians, and in the rare instances Zoe was forced to go to any gathering related to them was met with the distant look of otherness or pity.

Their mom and dad had shrugged it off. Their dad commenting how it was a better assessment then his own and their mom saying her magic might as well have been the equivalent of a luck magician's with how weak it was. It wasn't that Zoe minded, at least, not in the way everyone thought they would.

They minded in that it was another addition to the wall that existed between themself and others. Middle school was harder than elementary in all the ways they expected. All lunches ended hiding in a teacher's classroom or the library, words getting tangled together when they tried to talk. They managed the bottom tier of friends, the kind you exchange a few meaningless words with during one class. At this point, they thought of giving up.

After the confirmation they were a magicless magician, they went home and laid on the grass outside and watched the clouds roll by listening to the sounds of cars rolling past or echoes of neighbors floating towards them. They thought of their little brother, the exact opposite of them in every way. They thought of their unborn sibling, two months out from its due date. They thought of all the ways they wanted someone to mirror them. They couldn't be the only one that was so, so lonely.

//

The Ripley siblings had stretched by one. Zoe, the quiet one who could never find their tongue. Elijah, who was as charming as ever and growing quicker then anyone could blink. And now Lia, the little sister who was more quiet than Zoe could ever be.

Like Zoe and their habit of always changing names, their mom took Lia being non-verbal in stride. She spent an hour each day on ASL lessons and Zoe would sit with her, fifteen and the same as ever in all ways, learning each sign. They would practice together, and then go to show dad when he was back from his part time job, separate from the tea shop they owned. Doctors had said she was young, and it might just be delayed at only two years old. Their mom would rather be safe than sorry, and learning a new language never hurt anybody.

The new studies was something to throw themself into. Another way not to think of anything else. Just them, them, them. Always them. Their world was too big for one. Too big for just their family, as much love as was there. They didn't think there would be anything else for them.

//

"Ughh, I'm too old for my sibling to babysit me, ma." Elijah groaned, ten years old and already speaking with the attitude of a teenager. The look mom threw his way made Zoe throw a hand around his shoulder, more in warning then camaraderie.

"Ignore him, I got him. Besides, Lia's appointment is only an hour."

"You bet I'll ignore him. Keep talking like that and we'll see where that lands you." She reached out, pressed a kiss to Zoe's cheek and then Elijah's despite his protesting and groaning.

The second she was out the door, dad and sister in tow, he shoved their hand off him, "You don't gotta cover for me. I'm not that small anymore."

"...You're ten."

"And you always treat me like a kid! You and mom and even dad when he's not careful." They raised their hands, deciding to concede, but the flicker of irritation showed it didn't help their case. "You never even let me help you."

Zoe's brow furrowed, "I don't need help with anything...? And even if I did, it's not your job to—"

"Because I'm too young to make you happy. I at least know when you're sad. Better then mom does." Elijah stormed away in a whirlwind and Zoe blinked before hurrying after him.

"Wait, Eli!" They skidded out into the hallway, calling after him. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing!"

"Yes there is!"

"And I don't want to talk about it."

"But..."

"I don't!" And he whirled around, and there was a sea of violent, rushing past Zoe like wind during a snowstorm. It shoved them backwards, and they fell. Their eyes went wide as the chill of it wrapped around the whole room, spilling through the house. Magic.

Magic?

Zoe's words were barely a whisper, "You're...a heart magician?"

Since when? They searched through the confines of their memory, and tried to pull up any instance where he'd been acting strange or when something had been off. They came up blank, but as the last of the magic faded away, they understood why. As dramatic a display as it had been, there was nothing destructive about it. Strong, yes, but more desperate to heal and mend then destroy.

They pulled themself up, and found Elijah's eyes wide, "Don't tell mom. I'll tell her. I just...I can't be the only one who can use magic like this. All the other magicians are so...mean. Isn't that part of the reason why you're sad?"

"What? No. No, no, no. Hey listen, being a magician is a gift alright? Come here, it's ok." They weren't sure how to go about this. It wasn't an experience they'd ever gone through, suddenly wrapped up in magic.

His feet remained glued to the floor, eyes bright and shining. The false anger persona falling away until he was just a kid all over again, "No. I could have hurt you. I could have..."

"I'm fine, aren't I?" Zoe held out their arms, tried for a smile they were never good at wearing. "You knocked me over, it's fine. A solid gust of wind could do that with how scrawny I am."

They waited for him, until he eventually took a step. And then one hesitant step became two and then a lunge and then he crashed against them in a tight hug and Zoe wrapped their arms around him and they thought it not fair for him to be so young and trying so hard to figure out their pain while hiding his own.

Zoe hugged him back, arms not as sure as his. Never as sure. Their thoughts were racing. They knew nothing about magicians or magic or creatures of magic. They didn't even know anything about themself. But they knew the path Elijah was going to walk was going to be vastly different than their own. They needed to learn.

//

It was an excuse, maybe, to ignore their constantly endless problems and questions for their own life. High school was fine. It was the same routine as middle school. They had friends they talked to in certain classes and spent lunch hiding in classrooms and libraries. The key difference now was that they had after school pass times.

It still involved libraries and holing themself away in study rooms, but still.

The most frustrating thing was West Myers was not where one would find information on magicians easily unless they ventured onto the campus of Vales Grove University. Zoe didn't want to do that because they were a luck magician. They could already picture some heart or soul magician college students looking at them like a lost child. So they made do.

It was maybe the hundredth visit to the rundown public library that something noticed them. The library was on the edge of the north side of town. From here, the woods crept in, always yellowing grass spilling over the edges and thin trees watching anyone who would look back. Zoe had never paid it much heed, until their sixteenth year when the woods got tired of waiting and watching.

"BOO!" Zoe jumped near ten feet in the air, feet stumbling over each other, bag slipping half off their shoulder. By some miracle they managed to stop it from dropping to the ground and spilling out its contents. Their heart was going a thousand miles an hour in their ears. A strange, round, green creature was floating in the space near them giggling to itself. "Ooh, I did it! I did it! I scared a magician."

Their expression collapsed into their default blank calm. No words passed their lips.

The creature kept going, "Hey hey, don't be mad! It was all in good fun. Here, here, an apology."

Tiny arms with little nibs on the end reached out and there was a dandelion in its hands. Zoe stared, "Does this cost anything?"

"No no, it's an apology. It's what I owe you. A wish." They reached out a hand and instead of placing the flower in their palm, the creature settled into it instead. It felt soft, like an old cotton shirt that's been through the wash many times. "I always see you. Looking. Longing. What's your name?"

Zoe searched their memory for the name of this creature. There were hardly any magical creatures in the region; the local magician council had a firm distaste for them that kept most at bay. It wasn't information they needed often but this was a common enough one. A regular earth sprite. Maybe once a forest sprite, specifically, but the endless drought had shifted things in the region. What once should have been vibrant green was now a muted brown.

The things were harmless enough. Maybe. So they offered their name.

Immediately, the creature shook its head, "That doesn't fit right, does it?"

Zoe blinked, "Well...I mean..."

"Don't mind, don't mind. Humans that feel like you...are always in flux. Like the seasons. I'll call you that if you wish! My name is Jolly right now!"

At this point, they finally had the realization to look around. Humans couldn't see anything related to magic. Zoe must look wild, talking and stammering into their hand like this. The talk right names and wrong names was throwing them for a loop. What was their name? They'd stopped jumping through names like t-shirts in middle school. How did this creature even know that? And the most pressing question of all.

"What do you even want?" The creature nestled further into their hand at the question.

"Hmm, company? In exchange, you want answers to things, yes? I'll help you navigate magic. In return, allow me company!" Zoe pressed their lips together, but before they could deny the request, it suddenly hopped out of their hand. "Come, come. I know where they hide information. Follow me."

And despite all reservations, they did.

//

West Myers was stranger than Zoe had originally thought. Jolly had proven to be a great guide, and also their first real friend. Zoe sat at the counter of their parents tea shop, binder and notes spread out around them. The air conditioning strained against the summer heat, and Jolly dozed softly in a spare teacup.

The first thing Zoe had learned was that the borders of West Myers did not end at the town. It extended into the woods, and stopped miles in. The second thing Zoe had noticed was that the reason why they had been struggling to find anything was because those records had been removed.

Jolly had said magicians didn't want the general public to know of any events related to them, and so most information would be removed. Thankfully for Zoe, the woods remembered everything as well as the dead did. It had said that Vales Grove had stood for a relatively short time, which in sprite terms meant at least a hundred years, and it's founders had been odd. Liars. Cheats.

It hadn't provided more information on them, and Zoe had gotten the sense it'd been nervous. They didn't press it and it didn't matter, they knew what they were looking for now, and they knew how to look.

Bent over pages, they jerked as a door suddenly slammed open.

Snapping to attention, their brother raised an eyebrow, "Ma would have your head if she caught you not paying attention."

"Sorry, just..."

"Not to mention if she saw Jolly here." Eli's voice pitched high into singsong, "Wake up, wake up. I brought snacks."

Like clockwork, Jolly snapped it's eyes open, hopping up into the air, "Sugar snacks?"

Eli held out a box and poured a couple of sour candies into his hand, offering it up to it. Jolly practically cheered, diving right for it and gathering them all on its arms. He laughed, flinching away slightly at the sensation of it in his hands.

Zoe sighed, fighting a smile, "You're spoiling it too much."

"And you don't?" Eli threw back, coming to lean against the counter. His eyes skipped over the set up, unseeing for a minute as it was how Zoe normally looked at work. Eli sometimes swung by when he was walking home from a friends' house. Zoe couldn't tell if it was because he wanted to bother them or he actually wanted to visit them. Maybe it was both.

His hands snatched something from the table before Zoe could blink, "Is this a brochure to Vales Grove?"

Zoe paused, "Oh, yeah. That's likely where you'll be attending college so I just...checked it out."

They'd hated the visit, hated the atmosphere, hated the way they were spoken to the entire time. Still, they'd gone on the tour and taken all the information packets and had went online to fill out the application anyway.

Eli frowned, "You're hiding something from me again."

"What, no. I mean, you're going to have your magician assessment next year and I just...wanted to know how things worked with all that."

"I know you're lying."

They flinched, and it was Jolly who answered, falling back into its teacup, "They're going to attend! They're curiosity got to them!"

Zoe went still and so did Eli. He paused, eyes narrowing as he looked at Zoe. He was twelve now, still so young but as perceptive as ever. His voice was as soft as it was simmering, "Curiosity killed the cat. Are you forcing yourself to go because of me?"

"No, actually." Zoe's voice rushed out the next sentence before Eli could cut them off. "It was, at first. At least, I just wanted to know what to expect to help you if you needed it. But, you know, something's...really weird about this town and that school. Now I'm doing this because I want answers."

"Answers to what...? What's so weird about this place? It's just normal suburban weird, you know?" Eli handed Jolly another candy without thinking as it reached for more. "What you should be doing is finding some place where you can finally make a friend, and that isn't Vales Grove."

"Jolly is friend!"

"A human friend. No offense Jolly."

"It's fine, it's fine."

Zoe frowned, shook their head, and then thought better of it, "Listen I know that I'm...not the most social, but hear me out first. Look." They spun their binder, brimming with various papers and printouts and envelopes. Eli raised an eyebrow, but let Zoe go on. "What's weird is that there's barely anything magical in our entire region."

"But that's because—"

"Wait. Just. Hear me out. Magic is attracted to magic, right? And if magic is attracted to magic, then places where there's a lot of magicians should attract all sorts of things, but it doesn't. The only reason Jolly is here is by accident, but in other places, it's different. Take, I don't know, Foxglove for example. That whole town is the country's epicenter for magic and it's brimming with every magical thing you could imagine."

Eli frowned, popping more candy into his mouth with a shrug, "It's also the source of so much trouble all the important magicians in the region warn us about it."

"Sure, two worlds constantly colliding will do that but...humans are allowed to know about magic. Magicians aren't forced to hide what they are. The Council of Foxglove doesn't force people to forget things or erase memories of peoples' friends." Zoe pulled at the purple tab and opened up to a series of hastily written notes. "And it isn't just Foxglove. Look at this. Everywhere I was able to sneak information on is the same. And all of these records are so well hidden and for what?"

"Well..."

"This is all weird, Eli. Not just West Myers or Vales Grove University, but this whole region." They pushed the binder towards him.

Their brother pursed his lips, handed the rest of the candy to a very excited Jolly, and wrapped his hands around himself, "Alright. So things are weird. What are you going to do about? This only makes me think you should get out of here as soon as possible even more now."

They shook their head, "I...it...it doesn't feel right."

There were so many other things they wanted to say. It wasn't just the absence of magic but the presence of death. So much death. They wondered how no one was drowning in it. And if there was anything known to combat death, it were heart magicians. It was the thing Eli was. It was the thing Zoe was sure their new little sister was showing signs of being.

"It doesn't feel right because you've only ever known this town, sib. You keep closing off your world before you even let yourself try for something else." Eli shoved himself back from the counter. "Look, all that is super weird, though. Like, you better not fall into a conspiracy weird. But if this is what you want to do, go for it."

Zoe's shoulders relaxed, "...Don't tell mom?"

"So she can kill you? Nah, you can have the college conversation with her yourself. Good luck. Also, speaking of, the only reason I stopped by is because we needed some garlic from the store. Mom'll pay you back."

"Got it."

Eli raised his hand, walked a few steps back and paused. Zoe thought he was going to say something, but he only gave a goofy grin as goodbye and ducked out the door. The quiet that followed was only broken by Jolly's munching. Zoe leaned back in their chair, and wondered if Eli was right.

//

When did they settle on the name Zoe, anyway? When did they lung for it with all their might? It was when their childhood was already over. It was right before the summer they started college. Somewhere in the whirlwind of applications and parental arguments and throwing themself into a new thing and a new thing and a new thing, it came to them.

"It's Zoe." They said, suddenly, a week before they were slated to start college. Their mom and dad stopped whatever they'd been saying. "My name, I think."

"Zoe." Their mom said, with a smile. "I like it."

"Better than when you were insisting we all call you Guardian Heart when you were five." Their dad laughed, and their next words felt heavier. Their dad's joke didn't even get through to them.

The thing about their nature was that they'd run from one thing they were afraid of to another thing. They were afraid of magic and the Council and the university, and suddenly the fear of themselves was washed away, "I don't...think I'm anything. A boy or a girl or...anything."

They were clumsy, trying to find how to articulate it in the moment. It'd been easier to tell Eli, who had barely blinked at the news. It was impossible now, even though they knew their parents wouldn't reactive negatively. They'd always gone with them and let Zoe do whatever they wanted. They knew that so why?

Why was their chest caving in and why was their vision blurry?

Hands wrapped around them, and they buried themself into their mother's shoulder. Why were they crying? Because inside their stomach something twisted and wished that maybe it wasn't true. Oh, it would be so much easier if it wasn't true. Their mom held them tight and they imagined years of scornful eyes and disappointed frowns and they wanted to have something in them that wouldn't elicit such reactions. In another body with a different soul, they wouldn't have spent a whole childhood alone.

And so they wept for pieces of childhood forever lost to them.

//

"You can't come with me to college, Jolly!" Zoe huffed, trying to find just where the second shoe of their favorite pair went.

Jolly hopped around them, "But you changed! You changed! Your aura is so beautiful. Like grapes!"

They snagged it out from under their bed and threw it on, "I don't even want to know what it means to have an aura like grapes. Listen, I don't want anything to happen to you. And besides, this is something I choose myself. I have to face it myself."

Jolly collapsed on their bed, a pout on its face, "It'll be fine! Nothing strange there. Not for you."

"Better safe than sorry. Bye Jolly, I'll tell you how to goes later." And they were out the door and catching the bus.

And Jolly would be right. That first day was as anxiety inducing as everyone else's first day of college. And then the first year went by and the next and, save for a few missteps, everything was calm. Everything was peaceful. The years stretched on and they found a way to grow into it all.

They knew everything about Vales Grove, and they knew nothing.

They knew everything about themselves, and they knew nothing.

Everything was the same, until their last year of college, when nothing would be the same again.

[ballet-symphonie]

There's plenty of criticism for the young generations, the likes of Denisova, Sergeenkova (from BT), Khoreva, Ilyushkina (from MT), etc, and saying how they don't compare to the old(er) generations, Zakharova, Obratsova, Krystanova, Kaptsova,Novikova, Kondaurova... etc etc. So I'm wondering, how did the old generations do when they were new graduates around 20 years old? Were they having the same issues back then as these new dancers are having now (technical sloppiness? lack of artistry? lack of preparation for big roles?...) How do these young gen dancers compare to them when they were young?

The obvious comparison is Zakharova, this is the woman who was admitted directly into the graduating class at VBA and never spent a second in the corps. She has still set the record for speed and made principal at 18. Absolutely ridiculous. But then again, she came out of school looking like this. While she certainly didn't have the emotional depth and soulful lyricism that she developed later, she had beautifully sustained lines and nearly impeccable turnout.

Many of today's graduates have similar body types to her, but nowhere NEAR her precision or control of those extraordinarily long legs. The level of emotional depth perhaps wasn't quite there, but the technical proficiency is simply insane. But even then, that's her Nikiya at age 20...we've seen far worse in recent years.

Kondaurova is a totally different case. It's difficult to find old performance videos of her...likely because she wasn't doing anything that people deemed worthy of filming. She was not considered a prodigy at graduation, at 26 years old she was still a second soloist and it took her 12 years to get to prima- with some serious lobbying by her coaches and outside choreographers. Today's 'star' grads aren't fighting like Kondaurova. No one wanted to give her classical roles, she and her coach, then Chenikova had to battle for her to be given chances. It's maddening because we have 20-year-old first soloists and 22-year-old primas and no one bats an eye. Ratmansky was quite impressed with her, "She is more spontaneous on stage than most of her colleagues. And everything that often looks like improvisation is actually well rehearsed." That's a key difference between her and a lot of today's grads, she put in the work to appear so spontaneous and carefree- not to look technically perfect.

While there are minimal videos, I can definitely see how much she improved in the early years of her career. The clarity of pointework, stability of turnout, and general presence are much improved in the later video.

Krysanova is someone who I think had a well-paced career, but by today's pace, it looks like she was sleepwalking. She graduated BBA with a handful of prizes, and she had attention from the start. She did 3 solid years in the corps and then took another 5 years to get to prima under the detailed preparation of one of the Bolshoi's best coaches: Svetlana Adyrkhaeva. Again, Ratmansky pushed and praised her along with Osipova and she was a principal at 26- the youngest at the time. She was and continues to be, the go-to ballerina at BT for new choreographers, featured in premiere after premiere because everyone wants to harness her versatility, but that took time to develop. The older videos of her are quite good, but not mind-blowingly so in my opinion.

Obratzsova did indeed graduate to a big fuss and her star only continued to rise. She is similar to the current age of graduates, as she got loads of big roles early. By reading old reviews, there's pretty much an overwhelmingly positive consensus. She was a sensation to audiences with her Juliet, the youngest ever to dance it at MT, expertly guided by Ninel Kurgapkina. Her confidence and lightness was just irresistible, you couldn't not fall in love with her. From day one, she had the charm, the poise, and the style. Her presence was what got her roles, despite being a bit undersized. If she graduated today, I'm not sure she'd have the same opportunities. Similarly to Iliushkina, she won the gold medal at Moscow, and while reports suggest she went against administration in doing so, she proved that she could handle herself in a huge variety of repertoire. Only three years after graduating, people like Carla Fracci and Pierre Lacotte were creating work specifically for her, inside and outside of Mariinsky. This current young generation is definitely less sought after, with the exception of Khoreva, for freelancing/media/creations- although a lot of that can be blamed on COVID and then the war.

Marina Vasilyeva really struck gold in 2002 with both Novikova and Obratsova in the same class. Novikova arrived at the theatre with splendid port de bras and an organized presentation, in addition to snatching the top prize at the Vaganova International Ballet Competition in her graduating year. Additionally remarkable is her phrasing, looking blissfully effortless in addition to the intricacies of her upper body even from a young age. Every step was always clear, although not quite as luminous as she later became. I think today's graduates should be watching more videos of her and taking note of her fluidity. It took her far too long to get to principal, but she was a first soloist in 6 years, a well paced timeline in my opinion.

Nina Kaptsova really had a strong start to her career. She was dancing solo roles from her first season at the Bolshoi. In 1999, only 3 years after graduating, she was nominated for the prestigious Benois de la Danse prize. A year later, she won it. Even so, she wasn't named principal until 2011. These dancers are simply part of a different timeline, it seems like it's becoming more and more common to see dancers graduate and become principals in 5 years or less, particularly at the Bolshoi.

[wandas-lovey]

I’m being delulu so i started wondering (¡again!) what life with five would be post-season 3. But like…he’s a teacher in this…

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

* after all his siblings left when Reggie reset the universe you’re left with a mopey five

* you’re both pretty sad the first couple of days having just lost the people you love most :(

* but we don’t have time to be sad we need to get jobs!!!

* im gaslighting myself into believing that five and you have a place to stay the first night in the new timeline instead of being homeless 💀

* five becomes a teacher in the new timeline and you can’t convince me otherwise

* and what do you know!! you become a teacher too :D

* five would definitely teach math while you’d teach history (cuz you traveled through time when working with the commission, idk just go with it)

* while your classes may be a bit hard for the students you two are definitely the schools favorite teachers!!

* i mean why wouldn’t you be? the students can’t get enough of the two mysterious young teachers who showed up out of nowhere in the middle of the school year….

* you two definitelyyyy didn’t threaten the previous math and history teachers to quit their jobs or else they’d be dead by nightfall

* I just know many students are crushing on you BOTH. have you seen yourself lately? You look great ;)

* you both find it funny tho cuz they believe they’re crushing on teachers who are in their early 20s when it’s actually two 50 year olds in their younger bodies

* you two wouldn’t be the type to eat lunch with the rest of the faculty. you’d eat together in each other’s classroom enjoying your time together even if it’s for a short time

* five’s the type of boyfriend/teacher who interrupts your class for the dumbest reasons just cuz he wants to see you :,)

“can i borrow your stapler for a minute?”

“i’m in the middle of class right now”

“Yes I’m aware but i need to finish stapling the students review packets”

“you bought a stapler yesterday…”

“yeah but yours works better”

“OUT!!!”

*your students definitely find it cute :)

* after witnessing playful banter between the teachers that was a little too ~flirtatious~ the students get suspicious of what’s actually going on between their math and history teacher

* “are-are you and mr.hargreeves together..?”

* up until this point neither of you have confirmed to your students what your relationship was with each other

“unfortunately we are” you say with a smile on your face

*after confirming your relationship that day, your students spent the rest of the class asking you all types of questions about your relationship

“how did you and mr.hargreeves meet??”

“how long have you been together?”

“did you ask him out first or did he ask you?”

“why did you wait this long to tell us??”

*when your classes switch out and head to their next class with mr.hargreeves they try and pester him too about your relationship

“why aren’t you married yet?!?”

“ oh wow. i didn’t realize that was any of your business”

* you two are the kind of teachers to always be chosen to be chaperones for school dances.

*five definitely complains the entire night about being tired and wanting to go home

*who could blame him. watching over teenagers for hours making sure no one’s bumping uglies is exhausting

“how much longer till we can leave? This music’s awful. I’d rather throw myself off a building than be here.”

“Five…we just got here”

“What’s your point?”

*after a long night of watching over whore-knee kids, you head home ending the night with curling up on the couch and falling asleep in each other’s arms while The Breakfast Club plays in the background

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

i have no clue how to fucking end this 💀

also this shit ain’t proofread

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

A year later and this post is still better than the way season 4 ended 🤨🤨

[jq37]

The Report Card – Fantasy High Junior Year Ep 3 Fast Times at Fantasy High

Welcome back to Fantasy High! It’s a very exciting episode because something that we rarely see in this show about high schoolers studying at an adventuring academy is happening: The Bad Kids are actually going to class. 

But first, they have to get to school. Riz, unsurprisingly, arrives first. On a big old 30 Investigation roll (+11 to a 19), overnight he did a deep dive into what everyone needs to do to get into a good college. Fig is actually doing great. If she would just go to her classes, she’d be fine. Kristen on the other hand is in serious trouble seeing as allowing your god to die is pretty much an auto-fail for a cleric. Fabian and Gorgug are both solid students with good extracurriculars. Their main hurdle is going to be the MCAT–the Multiclass Achievement Test. In order to multiclass, you need to get permission from your current advisor and pass the test. Then you can take 3/4 of each track for a 150% course load. And then, of course, he and Adaine are the party nerds so they’re doing great. They could maybe add some extracurriculars but they’re model students. 

RIz also has done some research about possible college options: Astral State University (where they visited in the one shot), CUS Dabus (in the City of Doors), Bastion City University (who are doing big, world changing stuff), the Society of Shadows (the rogues only group that forces you to leave your life and friends behind that Penny Luckstone refused to join in The Seven), and–most hilarious but also saddest–Lord Salazar Edge's College of Lone Adventurers (which we learn in the AP was a Murph pitch, lol). 

Back at Mordred, Adaine is doing her best to get her less studious friends up and ready for school, going as far as casting Friends on them to get them in the car. Fig willingly fails and Kristen–who really wants to be convinced–sets the DC at 10 and gives Adaine the Help action. Before they get to the car, Lydia (Ragh’s awesome mom) slaps a toxic looking blue energy drink from Kristen’s hands and gives them all full trash bags full of food for lunch (she’s used to feeding half-orc athlete Barb Ragh, not three spellcasters).

Jawbone loads them in the car and, on the way to school, they hear the song of the summer which is this emo anthem. When they meet Riz, he’s super excited to see everyone and show them their dossiers. He even made one for Adaine just for fun even though she doesn’t need any help and she loves it. What she (and Riz) don’t love however is Fig’s new school plan which, as we learned last week, is to enroll in something other than bard classes and then go to her bard classes (since a part of her isn’t going because she has chronic Stick-It-To-The-Man-Itis). Riz and Adaine try to figure out if they can gaslight Fig into going to her classes or hack the system somehow. 

Back at the Thistlespring tree, Gorgug is doing some last minute pre-school work: creating his homunculus (which is kind of like an artificer’s familiar). It’s a hastily made archaeopteryx (flying dino thing, if you know Pokemon, think Archeops) that’s light on the feathers. He accidentally names it Cloaca (a birds multipurpose excrement chute) which his parents love because it’s spreading awareness of non-traditional bodies. Then they launch into a story about mermaid reproduction that I’m not gonna get into because not even Gorgug wanted to hear it. He’s clearly anxious about his skills because he feels his parents disapprove of the bird even though they’ve never been anything other than 200% supportive of him in their lives. 

He gets a ride to school and his friends meet Cloaca, who he nicknames Chloe–the name I’ll be using even though the Bad Kids of course will exclusively call it Cloaca. Riz hands Gorgug his file which he reviews along with the letters from his parents. It’s a lot of the same info except that one of the letters is a rejection re: Multiclassing with a note to talk to his advisor (Porter, the Barb teacher who Fig hates). 

Fabian shows up, starving and shabbily dressed without Cathilda to take care of him–she’s still in Leviathan. The girls share their trash bag food with him which he wolfs down gratefully. (When he mentions his parents are away, Fig seems surprised that Gilear left. Interesting to note for future eps because that feels out of character for their relationship). Anyway, he mistakes Chloe for a piece of trash because is it really the first day of school if Fabian doesn’t insult Gorgug (accidentally this time. progress!) and then the bell rings. As it does, the Bad Kids look around and realize something strange: they’re Juniors now. That means more than half the kids here are younger than them now. They’re not the Freshmen they once were. 

The Sorc Prof (Jace Stardiamond) is filling in as VP while Gilear is away and as he makes an announcement on the intercom, Fig almost falls into an open construction pit (a SECOND construction based incident) but is saved when she’s hit with an armful of gym equipment instead. Put that on the Faeth luck swap conspiracy board. Anyway, Jace also says that Aguefort is gonna be out so they have a new Principal: Emergency Backup Interim Principal Grix. The Bad Kids have never heard of this guy before. 

In the spot where they saw Dane and Penelope campaigning to bring back Prom Court their first year, the Bad Kids now see a table for Student Gov manned by Jawbone and a minotaur student he seems to know: Mazey Phaedra–a senior and the student body prez. She’s also based on a Scottish Highland cow which isn’t important to the story but it is important to me because those cows are super cute. Riz suggests they sign up so they go talk to Mazey who seems cool: She thanks them for saving the world, she knows Ayda, and Fabian clocks later that she’s a dancer bard. All green flags. 

After indulging Fabian’s ego for a bit, the squad encourages Kristen to go for President. Before she can though, she’s beaten to the punch by a halfling student with major Tracy Flick energy who introduces herself as Kipperlily Copperkettle. Kristen immediately shoots back with, “What are you, four different dogs?” which is maybe the funniest thing a Bad Kid has ever said. The Bad Kids hate her vibes on sight but Kristen especially is full aggro. Riz notices that she’s wearing a pin of a rat’s butt being grinded between two gears and when asked about it, she says it’s Ratgrinders pin–Ratgrinders being the name of her adventuring party. They ask who else is in her party and she points out Reuben–an emo, gnomish bard who is signing autographs because he’s the one who wrote the song they were listening to on the way to school (before Kristen changed it to a health and wellness podcast). 

Kipperlily (who I’m gonna call KP) is told that she can sign up but she has to find time to campaign outside of her classes. She says that won’t be a problem because she’s already aced Junior Year and she slides over an envelope to Jawbone to prove it. Apparently, the way Rogue classes work here is that the students find clues and puzzles throughout the school left by the professor but they’ve never actually met them. If a student is able to find the Rogue professor, they automatically get an A for the year and, apparently, KP did just that. 

Paperwork in order, KP is about to leave but Fig stops her to ask what her platform is. Her answer: “Equality, equanimity, and fairness under the rules. In the past, there has been an eccentricity to the bureaucratic and administrative decisions of the Aguefort Adventuring Academy that has favored some students over others. Very nice to meet you guys.”

As she leaves, they hate her even more. 

Adaine tries out a new trick she has which allows her to see into the ethereal plane. She sees a lot of Aguefort’s wards but also the fact that the wards are porous enough to let in ghosts because one of the professors is a ghost, though they don’t know which one. She suggests to Riz that maybe the Rogue prof is a ghost. She also sees some ghost steaks in the fridge, presumably belonging to the ghost prof (btw: steak for lunch at a high school seems wild, lol). 

At this point, Fabian notices Mazey’s dancing shoes (Badidas of course) and clocks that she’s a dancer bard. He talks to her about how he’s looking to multiclass and she hooks him up with a note to give to the dance class professor (Terpsicore Skullcleaver) that says he’s a good kid. She also tells him that Jem Peppercorn (the absolute legend who stayed in the gym eating for the whole Goldenhoard fight) graduated last year and he had the party house which means there’s an opening for a new party house. And Fabian has a very big, very fancy, very empty house. Kristen does an Insight check and gets a Nat 20 to clock that yeah, there’s a little bit of a flirty vibe going on. So of course, she uses Thaumaturgy to create tremors–a move I was extremely confused about at first blush but I think she was using to give Fabian an excuse to hold her or something. Clearly, she’s a more attentive Wingwoman than she is a Saint. 

Anyway, conversation finished, they go to the Auditorium where Jace announced Principal Grix wanted to give a speech. Grix is a gold, warforged spellcaster with a ball comprising his lower half instead of legs. Apparently, he was created by Arthur Aguefort to take his place while he’s on vacay. He speaks in a stilted, robotic manner and gives a speech parallel to Aguefort’s day one speech about what an Adventurer is. But instead of the rambly, unhinged answer Aguefort gave, he simply gives the Dictionary definition: One who goes on adventures. And then he starts going off about order, bureaucracy, and rules. 

The Bad Kids are taken aback–even rules gremlin Riz.On a 27 to clock whether he’s been hacked (because she can’t believe Aguefort would make a robot that acted like this) Adaine sees Grix steepling his fingers and saying “Perfect order” which isn’t conclusive but is def troubling! They start raising their hands and asking Jace questions about if they really have to follow rules in a hard way this year–it still is Aguefort after all–but Grix cuts in and says that the backtalk he’s getting is exactly the problem. He casts Time Stop (a 9th level spell) and the entire auditorium finds themselves in the hall, in a single file line, ten minutes before class is about to begin. Not a great start to the year! And on a dirty 20, Kristen doesn’t see KP anywhere. Suspicious! 

Riz tells Fabian and Gorgug about any extra MCAT stuff they don’t already know. He also tells the group about the Frosty Folk Festival and Gorgug mentions that his parents are hosting. Fig says she wants to maybe try out some of her new songs there…once she’s written them. Fabian asks if they can take a break from hardcore Bad Kid stuff this semester and Kristen says that’s a good point because she has a campaign to focus on. Fig declares herself secret service because, of course she does. She also announces her plan to go to Bard classes…but disguised as a new persona (Tiny Emo Girlie: Wanda Childa) so she can befriend and spy on Reuben. Riz and Adaine are at the end of their collective rope. 

With his free time before the bell rings, Gorgug wants to talk to Porter to sort out the MCAT stuff. Porter lays it out for him. He thinks Gorgug has amazing, raw, natural talent and he uses his rage in a really noble way to protect his friends. But he hasn't seen him reach his full destructive potential and he’s not impressed that he defeated the Night Yorb will tools and “magic” instead of rage. He would be fine if Gorgug wanted to get some Fighter levels with Ms. Jones or something else that would dovetail nicely with Barb classes, but as of now, he hasn’t seen what he needs to see to think that Artificing classes would do anything but steal focus. Gorgug can of course quit the Barb track and move to Artificing, but Porter is not giving his approval. 

Meanwhile, Fabian is having a much less hostile meeting with Terpsicore (after an accidental detour to Adaine’s wizard class because he trusted Fig–who’s never been to bard class–to give him directions). Terps is this tiny (5 ft 3in) Half-Orc with crazy, hyper positive, aerobics grandma energy who immediately breaks down Fabian’s cool guy jock persona and gets him into a dance, jam sesh with her that moves through different styles of dance and music. I can’t do this scene justice, you have to watch it. Her “Uh-oh, uh-oh! Uh-oh, uh-oh! A challenger approaches!” tells you everything you need to know about her. 

By the end of the dance, Fabian has fully embraced his weird art kid energy and Terps has approved Fabian for multiclassing. It’s looking like all sunshine and roses for Fabian until Terps tells him that if he’s gonna make this multiclass thing work, he needs to be really serious. Lots of rest. Lots of healthy food. And no parties. Uh-oh indeed. 

Next up, we turn our attention back to Riz who’s still in the hall and tries to steal the envelope KP turned in to Jawbone to get some info about the Rogue prof. Jawbone catches him and is good natured about it but won’t let him have the envelope: not for moral reasons so much as because a good rogue has to earn it by not getting caught. 

Riz asks about KP and Jawbone says she’s a good kid but kinda Type A. He asks Riz if he’s getting some “I’m in the picture and I don’t like it” energy from her and Riz denies it. Jawbone decides to give him a little bit of a hint re: the Prof and says that KP technically didn’t find the prof. The prof found KP. But he won’t say more and he would appreciate him not saying where he got the info. The main reason he’s giving the info at all is because KP was snooping and heard him talking about Kristen’s god dying. She then asked Jawbone a bunch of questions about Kristen which he answered so he figured fair’s fair with regard to giving Riz some info about her. Riz is troubled. Jawbone tells Riz that they’re due for a heart to heart but Riz says he’s good and he’s stressed but stress is good. Yikes!

Kristen is also still in the hall and finally properly signs up for class president but, as she does, she hears some familiar voices: it’s her parents, dropping her younger brother Bucky off for his first day at Aguefort. She has serious deja vu as they’re saying the same “Don’t mix with the weirdos” stuff they said to her on her first day. Kristen fails a Wisdom save and is deeply affected by watching her parents basically bullying her younger brother who she hasn’t seen in a good bit now. The last time she had any contact with them it was just to give them her dragon gold and that was over the phone.  She sees that her not being in the household to shield her brothers from her parents has led to them having to take all that parental abuse and pressure alone. She goes over to confront them feeling hot under the collar and Riz senses a crackle of something in her aura. 

Cass chimes in, thinking she’s been summoned, and asks if it’s a good time for them to talk and Kristen snaps at her that OBVIOUSLY it’s not a good time. Kristen feels a spasm in her body and, for the first time, Cass snaps back at her: "Fine! I can make my own people to talk to!“ Deeply concerning, but we’ll come back to that. For now, we follow Kristen as she reaches her parents and brother. Bucky immediately goes in for the hug and seems very happy to see her. Her parents, not so much and the feeling is mutual. “Second time’s the charm, hopefully” they say, tacitly deeming her a failure. She pretends to be directing traffic so she can hustle them out the door ASAP and gets a Nat 20 to do so (rolling with advantage for reasons Brennan doesn’t expound on). Bucky says he wants to talk to Kristen about something but he’s late so can they meet up after class? She says sure thing and he runs off, his longsword trailing after him. 

Kristen is left alone with her parents and it’s a bit of a standoff. Her mom asks how she’s going and seems to genuinely want to know to some degree but it’s still mainly jabs about her lifestyle and choices and leaving the church. Her dad especially comes down hard on her for leaving Helio without a chosen one and becoming a cleric to a night goddess right before they were struck with four months of night which, admittedly, is a fair thing to have questions about. But Kristen has died and come back from the dead. If that can’t keep her down, her parents certainly can’t. She pirouettes away from the conversation and heads to class (because she may not be worried about her parents but she is worried about what Cass said to her). 

We hop over to the second nerd of the party, Adaine, who’s in wizard classes with Professor Tiberia Runestaff who Brennan says has “Evil Lucille Bluth” energy (which is different from regular Lucille Bluth how?). She’s a friend of Aguefort’s from the Mountains of Chaos and Adaine wants to impress her so so bad. 

She starts off her lesson by saying that this year is the weed out year. This is the year that separates the paltry magicians from the truly great casters. Then, she starts listing out the materials they need for this week’s castings–a list that includes TEN BARRELS OF DIAMONDS. For ONE WEEK. Adaine may come from money but she doesn’t have access to any of that money right now. She raises her hand to ask if there’s any way she could borrow some diamonds from the school or something and basically gets a harsh, “That sounds like a you problem” kind of response that she shrinks back from. Tiberia continues to list the ridiculously expensive materials needed to continue on and Adaine knows that she can’t ask Jawbone for any of this. She resolves to call Aelwyn for help during lunch. 

We then move on to a Fantasy High first: Fig going to class! Although she’s not going as herself. She’s disguised as her alter ego Wanda Childa. The professor (Lucilla Lullaby who is some kind of chill Eladrin) seems to perhaps think she recognizes her before she sits down next to Reuben. She charms him by smelling of peach schnapps and cigarettes and they have a flirty emo-off before Lucilla points out that she’s 100% not on the roster and, despite the fact that it doesn’t always seem like it, this is a school with rules. This year especially! She leaves, but as she lingers to give Reuben one last look (and sniff) she notices that he has a Ratgrinder tattoo that matches KP’s pin. 

As she exits Lucilla is making a call on her crystal and there’s a good chance it’s connected to the encounter Fig has when she gets to the hall. Jace Stardiamond is leading an eagle aarakocra Council of Chosen agent (think FBI) who is investigating truancy in the area and calls Fig by name–well by pseudonym anyway. He is incidentally also looking into the disappearance of Hilda Hilda. Sensing her chickens are finally coming home to roost, Fig gives a weak lie about not knowing how schools work and skateboards away, using Cutting Words to prevent Agent Clark’s attack of opportunity on her. He vows to find out who she is as she makes her escape. 

Proving you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it go to bard class, Fig goes outside to spy on her class through the window instead of attending because she thought Lucilla actually seemed pretty cool. She doesn’t hide well enough though and Lucilla spots her through the window. She’s shocked to see Fig for the first time in two years and welcomes her in like she’s the prodigal son. Fig asks if it would be weird for her to attend. Lucilla assures her that it’s the opposite of weird and, in fact, mandatory. 

She settles in for her first day of bard class–this semester and ever–but out of the corner of her eye, she notices a sneering Rebuen texting someone. It’s Lola Embers. Looks like they’re signed to the same label. 

Finally, we hop to Kristen who’s headed to cleric class with Professor Yolanda Badgood (a wispy air genasi). Before class even starts she tells Kristen to meet her after class. We timeskip to that meeting and, like many others in this ep, she thanks Kristen for saving the world. But she has a followup question: How did she do it when her god is dead? Kristen says she has a lot going on with her estranged parents she just saw and her scattered mind and her feeling like the stairs are disappearing behind her as she climbs. She has to update her god in the files and her address for that matter because, as we learned when she talked to her parents, all her mail is still getting sent to her old address. Her professor sincerely asks her how she’s feeling and Kristen says she’s fine but asks if there’s some kind of test she can take that will tell her what god is right for her. Her professor is like, “Didn’t you just say you had a new god???” But Kristen feels so much pressure with Cass and she mainly feels annoyed by her presence. Professor Badgood says that she’s allowed to change her god as much as she wants–she herself gave up an active relationship with a divinity so she can be kind of an interfaith minister to all her students. And she says that all faiths are trying to capture a piece of the truth–even the out there ones with evil gods and such. She recommends that Kristen spend a week earnestly trying to connect with Cass and if she still feels like she wants to split she can go from there. 

Kristen has a followup question: What do you do when your god says, "Fine, I'll- I'll make new followers"? Badgood seems taken aback, and she’s even more so when Kristen says she’s been rude to her god. Kristen asks if she should apologize and Professor Badgood gives her the most gracious version of, “Duh, obviously” a person can manage. She directs Kristen to one of the million prayer rooms in the class so she and Cass can talk. 

Kristen actually takes this seriously–or at least more seriously than she takes most things. She clears her mind and meditates until she finds herself in the forest of Sylvaire where Cassandra is crying to herself. A bright moon that would erase any shadow or doubt encroaches. When Kristen tries to touch Cass’s shoulder, the god flinches away and sobs that Craig–her only other follower–has joined the Wolfsong Revival. Tracker’s movement.   

Cass is scared. She doesn’t want to end up dead in the Astral Realm like Yes? Kristen apologizes and says that she understands that she’s getting to point where chaos isn’t cute anymore. She follows that up by saying that her top two priorities are Cass and her student president campaign however so I don’t know how committed she is to being serious. Cass isn’t either because she flat out states that she can’t rely on Kristen. She’s so so lonely and she’s confused about why things aren’t working out. They started out so big and magical and they’re still so stuck. She thought it might be because of her somehow but then she learned about the trail of abandoned gods in Kristen’s wake and realized that *she* was the connecting factor, something that Kristen cops to verbally: “It’s me,” she says. 

Cass announces that she’s getting some help and Kristen asks who. A cleric? Nope. No clerics for now. She just wanted a friend. Kristen sees her petting something invisible and asks if it’s a dog. 

“I’m more of a cat person,” Cass says as a black cat fades into view. 

“Hi Kristen,” Kalina says. 

And that’s where we end our ep!!!! The bitch is back!!!!

Honor Roll

Riz for Thinking Of All His Friends

In Sophomore Year there was a thing with Riz’s dad where it was like, sometimes you show your love through work and, viewed through that lens, Riz *really* loves his friends. I recognize that the likelihood of his meticulous plan actually working is slim to none and he’ll have to accept that even if they all stay really close friends (which they better), they’re likely on at least slightly different life paths, I do think it’s really sweet that he’s putting so much effort into making sure that ALL of his friends are successful by the metric that he’s using. Also, the “Hi Adaine :)” binder for her was so cute. I love nerd friendship. 

Detention 

Fig for Hilda-Hilda-ing Too Close to the Sun

Girl the Fantasy FBI is after you!!! Just stop lying and go to class!!!!!

Random Thoughts

In the AP for this ep, Emily mentioned some cool warlock thing that might be worth taking the MCAT for and officially registering (she’s currently off the books multiclassing) but it’s never mentioned in the actual episode so I assume it got snipped away in editing. 

I really love how polite Adaine is to anyone who hasn’t earned her scorn and the little moment of her taking a reasonable amount of food from the trashbag Lydia offered her and thanking her was very endearing to me. 

Zac is very quick on his feet and Chloe is a GREAT save for Cloaca but it is ABSOLUTELY not gonna be what anyone calls that bird but me and him. 

When Jace said over the intercom that Sorc classes are just talking about how fun and easy magic is, I’m surprised Adaine have anything snarky to say about that, lol. *I* had a comment and I don’t even go to that school. 

Is anyone else getting like…Santa Clause 2 energy from the Grix situation? If that ends up being the vibe then that’s super funny because iirc Santa Clause 1 was ref’d a bunch with the oracle stuff in Freshman Year. Full circle baybee. 

KP seems like she is springing into existence to fill the voice left by Penny Luckstone getting her GED and leaving. They’re like on the exact same level of one axis of a cartesian plane but on opposite sides. Both at 100% intensity but vibes in opposite directions.  

I kinda wanna add a poll to this post that’s like, what is the crazier story? Mermaid reproduction with the Thistlesprings or snapping turtle man with gun up his secret cloaca story with Jawbone?

Honorary Honor Roll to Ally the person for the legendary 4 dogs joke. Honestly even funnier knowing that that’s the actual name of Brennan’s old PC. Burned the man to his face. Roasted him like corn. 

OK, so what are we thinking about the Ratgrinders? Is that a ref to grinding rats for XP or more how they see other people/what they’re going to do to people who get in their way? KP is obviously very rules focused but in a Lawful Annoying way. I do think it’s interesting though. Have any of you guys ever seen the Community episode where it turns out everyone at Greendale hates the gang because they have major main character syndrome and are always forcing everyone else at school to accommodate their flights of fancy (a perfectly reasonable reason to have beef with people)? I’m wondering if there’s a bit of that energy happening here. Either way, this strikes me as a party that’s interested in exploiting loopholes and such for maximum efficiency (eg: finding the rogue prof for instant straight A’s) and that’s a different kind of maverick behavior than what the Bad Kids do which is go buckwild, breaking rules if necessary, but getting real results. It’s like the BK’s are Aguefort’s perfect party and I’m suspecting the RG’s are Grix’s. Speaking of–

A FH concept I had ages ago was rival adventuring party to the main group which has like, bizarro versions of everyone. And we may be getting that! We have an emo bard to contrast Fig’s punk rocker energy. And a rules follower (derogatory) rogue to contrast Riz who is also a rules follower (blessed). Very curious to see the rest of their party! And very curious to know if they’re Bad (™) or just annoying in a high school way. Sometimes people just don’t vibe with you. 

Oh, a specific concern that I have: KP specifically asked where Kristen was able to create a god. I don’t think that’s info I want a super type A person I don’t trust to have. 

Very sweet that Jawbone’s immediate instinct when he thinks an earthquake is happening is to bodily shield Fig and Adaine, his two kind daughter-figures in the Bad Kids. 

Kristen says that Cass is a hard sell but I have to disagree. Look at this flyer. It looks convincing to me!

“I think songs can accomplish a lot, if you let yourself hear the music.” Gorgug :( He’s gonna show Porter this season. I just know it. I believe in you Spring Break! 

Love Murph throwing in the Frosty Folk thing apropos of basically nothing just to make sure they had an in-character reason to all know about that for later, just in case. Info management! Important! 

I remember Bucky being a lot younger but either I’m confusing him for one of her other two brothers or it got retconned (or Quangled lol) older to make this storyline work. Very interesting that he went in for the hug, not the other way around. Seems like at least one person missed her. With his longsword and his parents’ inclinations, it seems like he’s most likely a Helioic Paladin. I’m very interested in how they’re going to treat his relationship with Helio because even though Kristen rejected him and we’ve seen that he has some followers that range from just shitty (K’s parents) to downright culty (the Harvestmen), that doesn’t mean that all of his followers are like that and we’ve never actually seen Helio be anything but pretty chill when he’s appeared. He wants to talk to Kristen about something and my conspiracy theory brain is wondering if he was asked to be Helio’s new chosen one but he hasn’t told anyone yet. That would be very interesting and I’d like to see a storyline about the tension of K and her brother having very different relationships with the same god. The chill peace and love god might have been a great person for him to turn to in absence of his one lifeline in the house leaving. But it could also be tons of other things so we’ll see. 

Wild that Kristen has pissed off or abandoned every member of that godly family (Sol, Helio, Galicaea, and Cass). She really is the constant here. 

Ally says Kristen is wearing an Adidas tracksuit meaning that this world canonically has both Adidas and Badidas. 

It’s a funny moment when Terps is like, “Is there harm in your life? ”to Fabian when he mentions eating food out of a trash bag but like, the kid isn’t doing *great*. Def some neglect happening and he said he was wearing yesterday’s clothes and still banged up from the Night Yorb fight. If I was a teacher, I’d have questions too! 

Yolanda Badgood. Terpsichore Skullcleaver. Lucilla Lullaby. Most of these professors are named like My Little Ponies and I love it. 

When Lucilla say “Wanda” it seems like she briefly (correctly) thought it was Fig which is funny because it paints the picture that she’s been actively waiting on pins and needles for her to show up for the past two years. It’s funny because she’s not a missing person. She’s highly visible both from saving the world and being a rockstar AND both of her dads work at your school! Just get in touch! 

Really hope Adaine follows up on the Aelwyn conversation because I wanna see two kids raised in old money discuss the price of ten barrels of diamonds. 

Also lol at random things like Fabian being the FUTURE OF DANCE being pinned on Adaine’s oracle prognostications. 

[amiserableseriesofevents]

Courage, to make's love known

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Thank you so much @alienoresimagines for your extremely inspiring ask ♥️

“Be not afraid of greatness: some are born great, some achieve greatness and some have greatness thrust upon them’’

- W. Shakespeare, Twelfth Night

John wakes slowly, rubbing his face on the pillow and blinking a few times, blearily taking in his surroundings before remembering where he is; in the New York apartment where he's going to spend the next six weeks of shows. An apartment paid for him by the company, if he may brag — and oh how much he likes being spoiled for doing exactly what he loves.

A pleasant ache echoes through his body, one of physical exertion in order to perfect his craft, and he stretches, shifting on the mattress until his bones and muscles start singing their soreness. Then he rolls on the side and partakes in his favorite morning activity: staring at his fiancé as he sleeps soundly right beside him.

His movements have not stirred Gale, who's still sleeping with half his face buried in the pillow, blonde hair sticking up in every direction like a messy halo and eyelashes so long and thick they brush against the soft skin of his cheekbones. He has one arm tucked under the pillow and the other one outstretched towards John, fingertips grazing his forearm. John cradles Gale's hand in his and places a soft kiss at the center of its palm, looking at him with a reverence that would surely make him blush if he was awake. He's not, though, and John doesn't find it in his heart to rouse him; they got back pretty late last night after the celebratory Opening Night dinner, and the past few days have been very stressful for both of them, John rehearsing for hours every day and Gale keeping him company in the theatre and going through his lines at the apartment — just like old times.

He's only managed to get a week off from school and today is his fifth day here; two more and he'll have to go back and John will be left alone in the apartment for six more weeks surviving only on video calls and good morning texts — and math puns, obviously.

John's tempted to roll him over in this obnoxiously large bed and wake him up in the best way possible, with hot kisses and a hand between his legs to get to the only thing better than Opening Night celebratory sex — that is The Morning After celebratory sex — but Gale really looks too soft and content to be disturbed. So, John resorts to his second favorite Morning After activity: searching the World Wide Web for opinions and reviews.

He shuffles out of bed, puts on a t-shirt and some pants and walks groggily to the kitchen. Despite living here for a little more than a month he's still not very familiar with the layout and organization of the apartment so it takes him a while to find the coffee maker and to open the right cabinet where Gale put the ground beans when he got there, but then he finally settles on a tall barstool with a steamy cup in hand — with almond milk because Gale got him hooked — and starts browsing.

He finds reviews from some of the major theatre magazines and he's relieved to read that the show was largely appreciated in all his aspects, from the direction to the set design and the costumes. Someone has even pointed out his performance as the highlight of the show, which has him giggle like a serious, professional actor shouldn't do; he can't help it, sometimes when someone tells him that he's good at what he does he still has to pinch himself to be sure that this isn't some years long dream.

When he's satisfied with the professional reviews he moves to the social medias to hear the feedback from the fans; TikToks, tweets, everyone seems to have enjoyed the show. There are even a few pictures he's taken with fans at the stage door, he finds them on Instagram and grins at the captions from his fan pages — he has fan pages, can you believe that?!

It's on Instagram that he finds the most interesting thing, an article that makes him spit out his coffee from its title only.

If you thought John Egan was hot, wait until you see his boyfriend!

Cold sweat gathers at the nape of his neck. The article comes from one of those damned gossip pages filled with paparazzi pics and fake news and that's probably what happened, he thinks trying to reassure himself, they must have taken some pics of him and Curt hugging outside the theatre. It can't be Gale because they're always very careful with their PDA, especially around shows when the paps are more likely out to get him. Yes, that must be it; they're gonna have a laugh about it and all will be fine, he thinks as he opens the link.

He's immediately greeted by a picture of him and Gale kissing outside a restaurant.

Fuck.

They haven't been careful enough, they didn't think the paps would follow them to the small, basically unknown restaurant they'd chosen for the celebration dinner and so they kissed on the sidewalk. Still, the picture is pretty blurry, Gale being barely more than a blond smudge of pixels, he could be anyone.

The relief lasts less than three seconds before he notices that it's the first of a series: there's another blurry kiss, then one or two of himself as he waves to someone inside the restaurant, and finally one of just Gale, clear enough to make out most of his features — his proud smile, the glint in his eyes, the mop of blond hair, the cut of his cheekbones.

Again, fuck.

John belatedly remembers the title of the article, about how hot his boyfriend is. Suddenly, all the worries about the article itself vanish replaced by a simmering anger: how dare people think they can judge Gale? He swears to god, if someone's written on the damn internet that Gale, his Gale, is ugly they're gonna have to deal with John's wrath.

He opens the comments, ready to be properly pissed. What he finds is... surprising.

Who's that??? Where was Egan keeping him???

Despite himself, John snorts. He thinks of Gale teaching algebra to high schoolers while John rehearses on a stage, of him cooking terrible dinners for John to comfort him when he gets home. Home, that's where he's keeping him.

How did Egan manage to bag a guy like that?? 🥵

He laughs less now, frowning, honestly offended by this gratuitous rudeness — Gale would find it amusing though, so he refrains to comment back.

Do they need a third? 😜

John huffs — as if. They've had enough troubles managing a relationship between just the two of them, they're definitely not the sharing type.

Does he like girls too? 🙄

No he definitely doesn't, thank you very much.

OMG HE'S SO HOT

John grins mischievously at this one; yes, his boyfriend is hot, John knows it. He's getting even hotter as he grows older — there's some grey in his blond hair, so pale it's barely noticeable for anyone but John, who doesn't miss a chance to remind him of it bragging about his luscious, still completely brown locks. He's oddly proud that some random Instagram user finds him hot too, he could print out the comment and put it on their fridge for the moments when Gale feels down.

Aw what a nice couple 🥹🥹

Butterflies rouse in John's stomach and he finds himself blushing slightly at this comment, smiling like when someone compliments his acting. They're the two most important things in his life after all, acting and Gale; he's glad someone can see how much in love they are just from some blurry pictures.

Egan needs to have him cast in something!! I need to see that pretty face more often

To this one, John laughs out loud. Yeah, he wants to comment, been there, done that. Unless that guy is interested in minor, local performances, he's not going to see Gale's face on stage any time soon.

He hears a sudden noise from the bedroom, sign that Gale's woken up; the worry comes back, a gnawing sensation in the pit of his stomach. He'll have to show Gale the pictures, that's for sure, but how is he going to react? He's probably gonna be pissed, as he should.

John is going to pressure to have the pictures removed if Gale asks, of course, but by now they've already been seen by hundreds if not thousands of people; this is surely going to freak him out, hugely. He's so private, even the news of their engagement has been kept a secret to everyone who's not close family — John still wears the ring every day just not on his finger, but on a chain around his neck. What if this sudden exposure to the public makes him reconsider it? He's always said he's ok with John being a more public figure than him, but maybe...

No, John thinks shaking his head. He won't go there. They're not who they were at the beginning of their relationship anymore, they've grown together past the part where a single doubt could destroy everything. They're going to talk about it, plently, and decide together what to do.

He pours another cup of coffee and waits for Gale to pad barefoot to the kitchen, yawning ans with his hair all askew — he wonders what his fans would think of him now, as natural as he comes. For John, he's still the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.

"Morning darlin'," Gale drawls. "How are the reviews?"

John smirks, passing him the coffee. "They're good, but the thing that's making the most numbers online this morning is you, love!"

Gale smiles, confused. "Are you practicing your math puns?"

"Come take a look," John simply answers, sliding his phone towards him. Gale picks it up, more confused, and his eyes widen as he takes in the pictures. "Those fuckers!" He says, outraged. "They followed us to the restaurant?"

"Maybe, or maybe one of them was simply passing by and took his chance. Read the comments, come on."

As he reads, Gale blushes in a way John finds utterly adorable. "They think I'm hot?" He asks.

John nods, solemnly. "That you are babe, that you are. Look, I'm gonna cal Lil later, tell her to work her magic to have those removed. She's my agent, that's what I hired her for and I know she's good with this kind of thing."

"Why do you want to remove them?"

It's John's turn to be confused. "Well it's a violation of our privacy, and I though you'd be pretty pissed about them," he says tentatively.

Gale nods, sipping his coffee. "It is a violation and I'm pissed at those paps, they should get a life and not bother ours. But the pictures are out, and by now they must have been seen by anyone. I don't think it would matter to have them removed. Besides, I kinda like the way people talk about us in the comments," he admits, still slightly blushing. "They're not judging, they like us."

"They like you," John points out.

"Yeah, but they also like us as a couple. See? Most comments are about us!"

"And that doesn't bother you?" John asks, perplexed.

"Well, it had to come up sooner or later, didn't it? I would have preferred to have more of a say in how and when, but since it happened..."

"So let me get this straight, you want us to be out in public, on the internet, at the mercy of strangers? Are you sure?"

"Why are you putting it so menacing?"

"Because people will judge — me, you, us. Not everyone will be utterly positive and supportive. I just want you to think carefully about that," John says. He'd have absolutely no problem posting a pic of him and Gale on his official profile right now, but he wants the other man to be sure.

Gale cocks an eyebrow at him. "Not everyone will be utterly positive and supportive, really? Is that not the story of our lives?"

John smirks. "You're right, as usual. So, what do you propose we do? Can I post a picture of us like, right now?"

Gale laughs. "Now, don't rush! Let's talk with Lil first, I'm sure she knows how to deal with a... how are the youngsters calling it nowadays? A hard launch?"

"Hanging out with teenagers is ruining you, Buck! How do you even know such a term?!" John laughs, then pulls Gale closer to hug his waist and nuzzles his face against his fiancé's stomach. "You know, you're incredible: a lifetime together, and you still manage to surprise me," he says, softly.

Gale strokes his hair, humming content. "And I'll keep doing it for the rest of our lives. Now, if you're finished with the reviews and don't have to go out so soon, why don't you come back in our bedroom with me? We haven't celebrated enough this morning, as far as I'm concerned..."

—

A few days later, a picture is posted on John Egan's official Instagram profile. It's a black and white picture of him and another man, one that the fans recognize as the mysterious boyfriend Egan was kissing outside a restaurant in the paparazzi pics that came out a few days ago. The private profile of the other man, one Gale Cleven from Wyoming, theatre aficionado and apparently math teacher, is clearly tagged in the picture.

But the thing that truly sends the fans rioting is the simple, teasing caption:

If you thought John Egan was hot, you should see his fiancé!

[cloudy-em]

ok mayhaps a carmen x fem!reader and she’s like his childhood bsf? then she just kinda shows up one day after not seeing him for years idk

ooh I like it!

xxxxxxxxxxx

The memories came flooding back to Carmen. He felt frozen. Richie had pulled him close, a hushed but audible sound in the busy kitchen and all Carmen could do was focus on what Richie said; "Y/N is here". Suddenly nothing else mattered, and Carmen rushed to his office, slamming the door behind him. He leaned back in the chair, breathing deeply to stall the anxiety.

Y/N, his closest friend. He remembered the day they met so vividly, it was like watching it on a screen. She was riding her bike down the sidewalk, doing her best to work with her helmet that was a little too big and her uncoordinated 5 year old body. She approached him sitting on the old wooden steps of his house.

"D'you wanna play?" she asked him. And the friendship took off flying. They took each other away from the pains of their homelives in treehouses and days playing by the creek. They grew older and stayed just as close. Carmen struggled in school and Y/N helped him with his homework, offering to do the math for him if he read the English novel. They skipped middle school dances together by sitting in that old treehouse that was quickly getting too cramped, smiling and laughing together.

But the times changed, like they often do, and Y/N's mom remarried and they had to move away from Carmen. He could feel the hurt still inside him as he wrung his hands, pacing the floor in his office. He felt betrayed; she did leave him to deal with everything alone. She had escaped the life she'd always led, moving out to some western coastal town where she would be happy without Carmen. The door opened, and Carmen whipped his head around to face it.

"Cousin," Richie said, seriously for once and not being an asshole. "She's still out there. Nobody's taken her order yet. Thought maybe the Chef would like to do the honors?"

Carmen stared back, wide-eyed, unable to speak.

"Ya can't run away forever," Richie told him.

Carmen took a deep breath, wiping his sweaty palms on his pants. As much as he didn't want to admit it, Richie was right. His dearest friend, the one he hadn't seen in a decade, was sitting in his restaurant. He could see her again, one last time. Maybe she'd recognize him and they would make small talk for a minute or two after she paid the bill and he would have closure. Or maybe she wouldn't recognize him and all he'd ever be to her was a lost memory.

It was undeniably Y/N. He knew as soon as he left the safety of the kitchen that it was her. God, she'd barely changed. As Carmen approached the table where she sat alone, he swore time was moving slower than it ever had.

"Good evening, may I get you something to drink?" he asked, cringing at how his words sounded.

"Carmy?" She practically squealed. "Oh my god, I can't believe it's you! It's me, it's Y/N." He smiled politely and bit his tongue to keep from saying, "I know".

"Wow, Y/N! It's great to see you," he said, trying to steady the shake in his voice. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh, you know, mom and Robert finally got divorced, and mom's old, so I helped her move back to where she grew up," Y/N said, softly. "I heard about this new restaurant, got rave reviews. Figured I would try it before I head back to New York."

"Oh, you live in New York now?" Carmen asked her. If only he'd known that, they were probably in New York at the same time. This meeting could've happened so much sooner.

"Yeah, I'm in marketing for a law firm," she said. "Well, what about you? What've you been up to?"

"Me? I-" but Carmen was interrupted by Richie.

"Chef," he said. "If you'd like to sit and talk with your...friend, I'm more than glad to take her order."

Carmen didn't have a chance to answer, because Y/N answered for him.

"Oh, Carm, please stay!" She said to him before turning to Richie kindly, thanking him and ordering an appetizer to share with Carmen. Richie nodded, walking back towards the kitchen.

The silence made Carmen uncomfortable as he sat across from his childhood best friend.

"So..." Y/N began, trying to keep her smirk behind her lips, but failing. The gesture made Carmen smile softly at her; she never could quite contain her joy or humor. "Chef, huh?"

Carmen nodded shyly. "Yeah. Revamped the place, I-I'm proud of it."

"You should be! It's great, Carmy, it really is," Y/N smiled, reaching her hand across the table for his hand. He didn't move his hand, letting her skin graze his.

"I'm glad to see you, I really am," Carmen told her, hoping for a split second that maybe, just maybe, they could repair what they once had.

"I'm sorry we lost contact, Carmen," Y/N apologized. "It's no excuse, but Robert didn't want me to keep talking to you. He wanted me to find new friends, and I- god, I'm just so sorry."

Carmen, let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. "It's okay, Y/N. I wanted you to find friends and I wanted you to be happy. Plus, it's just as much my fault as it is yours. We both got busy, and it was a stupid mistake. We'll make it better, yeah?"

Y/N smiled at Carmen's forgiveness and maturity and happy at his proposition to rekindle.

"Yeah, Carmy. We'll make it better."

[yes-i-am-happyaspie]

Hi! I love you! It’s finals season and I’m barely scraping by and suffering lots, so I could use a fanfic to live through! What about a mini fic where Peter is doing some homework in his room (compound/tower, or just Tony’s house but Morgan doesn’t exist) and he has a pretty bad fever. Tony notices he’s getting frustrated really easy and checks his temperature and then lots of cuddles?

Another mini-fic! This time staring a feverish, grumpy little rain cloud Peter and a very dad-like Mr. Stark. :) Very very very mild angst and some good old-fashioned fluff. Oh. And Peter gets a hug.

Finals Week Heat 980 words

Peter sat at his desk in Mr Stark’s workshop and grasped a fistful of his hair. It was only Wednesday, and he was already burnt out. Finals had been going strong all week, and he still had two more to go. His worst subjects. Spanish and world history. He released his hair in favor of rubbing his eyes and stared at his notes. As they blurred in and out of focus he slammed his fist down on the desk.

“Easy, Pete,” Mr. Stark called from across the room. “ What’s got you all worked up over there?”

“Nothing!” Peter snapped before he could stop himself. But he was so exhausted he ached and his head was starting to throb. It was making him unreasonably irritable. “I'm not worked up! I’m just tired.”

Mr. Stark arched a single brow. “It’s only eight o’clock.”

“Does it matter? I’ve been busy for days! I think I’m allowed to be tired.” Peter flourished a dismissive hand and directed his attention to his notes. “Just go back to your work and leave me alone.”

“Hey,” Mr. Stark warned. But for some reason, Peter didn’t take the hint, He visibly bristled and narrowed his eyes.

“What?” he aggressively shouted. “I know you’re in the middle of at least three projects and I have to study. Actually. You know what? I’ll just take this to my room. It’s whatever.” Immediately, he started haphazardly stuffing things into his bag, ready to flee the situation before it escalated further.

“Nuh-uh, no way, no how. Sit back down Kid.” Mr. Stark stood up, taking on an authoritative posture. “We need to talk about your attitude.”

Peter knew he should listen, and any other day he probably would. However, the tension in his body was wound so tight, he snapped instead. “I don’t want to sit down and don't want to talk to you. I just want to get this done.”

Mr. Stark's jaw clenched. “Sit. Down. Now.”

Knowing it was best to give in, Peter threw himself into his chair and crossed his arms tightly over his chest. Whether it was out of indignation or because an unexpected chill had consumed him, he wasn’t sure. Rather than contemplate it, he glared across the room.

“What are you studying for?”

“Finals. You know that,” Peter spat.

Mr. Stark’s face remained stoney as he regarded Peter with scrutiny. A few beats passed. He sighed and reached up to pinch the bridge of his nose. “You’ve been at it for hours with the flashcards, Kiddo. Why don’t you just call it a night?”

“Because I happen to like my 4.0 GPA, Mr. Stark!” The sarcasm was thick but the sentiment was genuine. He was at the top of his class and the pressure to remain in that slot was high. “If I don’t study, I don’t get to keep it.”

Mr. Stark's head tilted to the side. “Are you feeling okay?”

“I'm fine,” Peter grumbled. “Why?”

“You’re not usually this snippy with me,” Mr. Stark casually replied. He spanned the distance between them and ran his hand through Peter’s hair, down to his neck. The contact Made Peter shiver. “You’re burning up, Buddy,” Tony said, his voice significantly softer. “FRIDAY? Get me a tempt, will you?”

“Mr. Parker’s temperature is at one-hundred and two point three degrees.”

Mr. Stark nodded and gave Peter’s shoulder a squeeze.“Well, that settles it. You’re definitely done studying for tonight. The good news is, you’ll have a few extra days to review the material because you are definitely not going to school to-’”

“I have to go!” Peter growled. “I have finals to take!” He wished he didn’t. Staying home sounded idea.

“Nope. Zip it. The adult is talking.” Mr Stark, sent him a look, daring him to say anything else. Peter snapped his mouth shut. “You’re not going to school with a fever of a hundred and two. Not happening. You can make up the test.”

Peter slumped in his seat. “I want to be done with them,” he mumbled.

“And I want you to feel better,” Tony replied without missing a beat. His fingers went back to Peter’s hair. “You’re clearly miserable, Buddy,”

“Yeah,” Peter agreed, his eyes beginning to water. He gathered a tremulous breath and closed his eyes. “Yeah, you’re right. I don’t feel good.”

“Okay, Kiddo. You’re going to be okay.” Mr. Stark wiped a stray tear from Peter’s cheek and hauled him into a firm hug. “Let’s get upstairs, hmm?”

Inside the elevator, Peter leaned into Mr. Stark. “Sorry, I yelled at you.”

“I’d say it’s okay, but I definitely don’t want you biting my head off like that,” Mr. Stark said. He paused to swipe the bangs off of Peter’s forehead. Probably gauging the fever again, in the process. “It would be much easier if you just told me when you were sick.”

Peter sighed, unsure of how to explain how difficult it was to satisfy literally everyone’s expectations. “I didn’t want to-” he began, but Mr. Stark cut him off quickly.

“Another time, Bud. We’ll talk about it another time.” They had arrived at the penthouse. Mr. Stark stepped inside first and gestured down the hall. “For now, go get in your pajamas and meet me on the couch. I’ll fetch you some meds, and we’ll watch a movie until you conk out on me.”

Peter huffed a small laugh, knowing that’s exactly what would happen. He’d arrive at the couch wearing his comfiest pajamas, soft blanket in hand. Mr. Stark would give him some pills and sit in the corner of the furniture. He’d allow Peter to burrow into his side and, together, they would pick a movie. Probably something science fiction. It didn’t really matter. Mr. Stark was right. He’d be warm and comfortable and sound asleep before they made it a quarter of the way in.

Super happy to see you again @yescaptainmarvel123875 I feel like it's been a while! Hope you are doing well and enjoy this fic!!

[recurring-polynya]

I was cleaning out my WIPs folder a few months ago, and I found the original draft of my Kira-and-Rose-Review-a-Restaurant story. It was nearly complete, and it's not anything earth-shattering, but it's also mildly entertaining, so I thought I would finish it up and send it out into the world. Then, of course, I procrastinated on that for months, but, hey! It's Kira's birthday! Happy birthday, Kira!

(read on ao3)

🍴 🐟 🍶

“Captain,” said Izuru, clutching his folders like a lifeline, “I think there’s been a misunderstanding.”

“My companion will have the tekkadon, but he would like the orange sauce on the side,” Captain Outoribashi informed the waiter. He squinted at his lieutenant. “Is that alright? Do you like tekkadon?”

“Er, yes, it’s fine,” Izuru excused. “Sir, when you said we could go over these budget requests over dinner, I thought we would go to a ramen stand or something. This is far too--”

Rose waved a hand. “It’s covered, don’t worry about it.”

Izuru chewed the inside of his cheek while his new captain continued to order a rather frightening amount of food. The waiter seemed to be taking all this in stride.

Captain Outoribashi couldn’t be more different than Captain Gin, he kept reminding himself. Rose was elegant and mannered, and was trying very, very hard to make everyone in Squad Three feel comfortable and welcome. He also had absolutely gorgeous waves of shining hair, velvety purple eyes that you could just fall into, and amazing taste in absolutely everything. Izuru would never have assumed in a million years that his captain would have any sort of… interest in someone like him, and yet, here they were. In a fancy restaurant. After work hours.

“Sir,” he started again, when the server had left. “It’s not about the money-- well, also, I feel you may have been misinformed, it’s true that I come from a noble family, but, uh… not a very well-funded one. It’s, just, er… I feel that a captain and a vice-captain should have a very professional relationship, you see, and this place is rather upscale, and I feel like you’ve gotten the wrong idea--”

Rose blinked at him. “You’re friends with Lieutenant Hisagi, no?”

Izuru’s cheeks colored. “Well, yes, sir, we’ve known each other since our school days.”

“He didn’t tell you?”

Izuru felt all the blood in his body fall down into his feet. “Tell me… what?”

“Well,” said Captain Outoribashi, with a sneaky smile on his face. “One of the first things I realized upon my return to Soul Society was that old curmudgeon Kyouraku Kenji had retired and that the restaurant review column had been vacant for nearly three years!”

“Wait, what?” Kira sputtered.

“According to your friend,” Rose rambled on, “His former captain felt that the column was elitist or somesuch and didn’t want to continue it, but what could be more egalitarian than communicating the rapture of fine dining to the masses? I thought I was going to need to lean on my good friend Kensei for a little old-fashioned favoritism, but Lieutenant Hisagi was perfectly willing to hand me the post, can you believe it? I assumed he might have mentioned it to you, you’re also a Bulletin contributor, are you not?”

“You’re here to review this restaurant?” Kira managed to get out.

Rose put an elegant finger to his lips. “Shh! We’re supposed to be secretive about it, but I refuse to use a nom de plume, so I am sure we’ll be quite infamous before long.”

“'We'?” Izuru echoed.

“Well, I need to try as many dishes as possible,” Rose mused. “I have to bring companions. You had a noble upbringing, so I’m sure your palate is quite sophisticated. And you’re a writer! I hope you don’t mind, but I was already planning on blatantly stealing any particularly clever turns of phrase that pass your lips.”

Kira felt frozen absolutely solid. Why did his captains always have to be so interested in him? Why couldn’t he get an icy asshole like Kuchiki who would forget he even existed whenever he was out of eyesight, or a battleax like the Kenpachi, who would just break his arms first thing in the morning? Who was he kidding? He knew very well he wouldn’t last ten minutes in Squad Eleven before someone ran his underwear up a flagpole.

Rose’s face fell. “If you’re not interested, just say so. I’m sorry for presuming. Do you happen to know anyone who likes fine dining? Kensei has excellent taste in cuisine, but he dislikes ambience, and you can’t take Hirako anywhere. Beyond that, I’m afraid I’ve fallen out of touch with many of my old acquaintances.”

No! Kira scolded himself. He has offered you a reasonable boundary and you can just say no. Say no, Izuru. Say it. Just because he’s lonely doesn’t mean it’s your job to be his friend. You’re his lieutenant and that’s all you have to be.

“An assortment of shiokara,” the waiter returned, setting a tray on the table holding a number of sampler bowls. “And your sake.”

“Do you like shiokara?” Rose asked, gesturing at the pots of fermented fish before picking up the sake. “Also, do you drink?” he asked belatedly. “I love it, but only with shots.”

“Ah, same,” Kira finally managed. “I tend to think of it as bar food, though, I’m a little bit skeptical of the artisan nonsense from the menu.” It was out of his mouth before he even thought about it-- you’re not at the izakaya with Hisagi and Abarai!! he reminded himself.

“Oh, Kira, you cannot say something like that and then refuse to give me your opinion on the finished product!” Rose sighed. “Please, just help me with this first review! I’ll…” he frowned. “I don’t know what you like. I’ll let you pick the music we listen to in the office for a whole week.”

Kira had already experienced the horror of Rose’s automatic music player that he had brought back from the World of the Living. “Er, that’s okay,” he replied. “I don’t really know any of the music you have. It’s probably better if you pick.” He grabbed a bite of firefly squid with his chopsticks. “I’m here, might as well.”

Rose’s face glowed.

---

  “ ‘...I found the dish quite pleasant, although more adventurous diners may find the flavors too subtle. My delightful dining companion, a man of culture and manners, proclaimed that ‘you could throw a rock toward Rukongai and hit a bar with better shiokara than this.’”

“Savage,” Rangiku declared.

Momo slammed her Bulletin down on the table. “How did you convince him to let you go along? I wish my captain took me to fancy restaurants!”

“Who says it was me?” Izuru frowned, sipping his sake. “I don’t think it ever said the guy’s name. It could have been anyone.”

“Later on, he says that you described the rosewater agar agar as ‘smelling like your great- aunt’s house,’" Renji pointed out dryly, "which is the same thing you said about that facial cream Yumichika tried to get you to use."

"Why do you pay attention to things like that?" Izuru griped.

"Because he took it very personally and complained to me for a month about it!"

"Anyway," Shuuhei broke in, "Captain Outoribashi told me it was you. He wanted to make sure you got your co-author stipend." He jerked his chin. "He said he wasn't sure if you were going to keep doing it with him."

Izuru shrugged. "It was sort of by accident that I ended up going anyway."

"Well, if you don't want to, tell him that I like going to fancy restaurants," Rangiku offered.

"I think it's a nice opportunity to get to know your new captain!" Momo announced. "But if you really don't want to, I also like going to fancy restaurants."

"I also think you should do it," Renji said. "I don't care about fancy restaurants, but that was the funniest restaurant review I've ever read. Captain Kuchiki thought it was hilarious, too, by the way."

"He what," said Izuru.

"He chuckled softly and shook his head," Renji translated.

Izuru had to take a minute to process that one.

"Also, that sweet, sweet co-author stipend," Shuuhei pointed out.

Izuru glared at him.

"Look, it's too soon to have more than anecdotal feedback, but my editorial instincts tell me this column is going to be a big hit. You and Captain Outoribashi have rapport, Izuru! Chemistry!"

Izuru frowned, deeply. "He's my boss, Hisagi, and he's only been that for three weeks. All I want with him is an appropriate work relationship with healthy and firmly respected boundaries."

"How about a 10,000 kan per month dining budget?" Shuuhei replied, and took a shot of sake. "Alcohol permitted."

"Oh," said Izuru. "Well. Maybe that, too."

~

If you enjoyed this, maybe you'd like to read their review of the Seireitei Waffle Hut?

[dragoneyes618]

The major lesson that reviewer Christine Rosen extracts from Rob Henderson’s new memoir, Troubled: A Memoir of Foster Care, Family, and Social Class, is: “The people who control a great deal of our cultural and political conversations are a rarified elite with little understanding of how most people live their lives.” (I have not yet read Troubled, though I’m eager to do so. What follows draws primarily on Rosen’s review in the Free Beacon and on Henderson’s op-ed in the Wall Street Journal.)

To comprehend the gap between those elites and the vast majority of Americans, consider a recent Rasmussen survey of what the authors call “elites” — more than one post-graduate degree, an annual income of $150,000 — and a subset of those “elites,” who attended an Ivy League school, or another elite private school, such as Stanford or University of Chicago, whom Rasmussen dubs “super-elites.”

Three-quarters of the elites and nearly 90 percent of the super elites describe their personal incomes as on the upswing, while almost none describe their incomes as on the decline. For all Americans, however, nearly twice as many view their income as worsening as view their financial situation as improving — 40 percent to 20 percent.

Despite having eventually made it to Yale as an undergraduate in his mid-twenties and later earning a PhD in psychology at Cambridge University, Henderson most certainly did not stem from the elite class from which so many of his classmates came. Students at Yale from families in the upper 1 percent of wealth are more numerous than those from the bottom 60 percent.

One of Henderson’s Yale classmates, who had attended Phillips Exeter Academy, America’s top prep school, once lectured Henderson on his white privilege — even though he is actually half Asian and half Hispanic. Yet it would take a certain obliviousness to label Henderson a child of privilege. One of his earliest memories is of his drug-addict mother being pulled away from him in handcuffs and hauled off to jail, when he was three. He never knew his father.

After that, he was shuttled between various foster homes, none of them stable, until he joined the US Air Force after high school. The discipline of the military helped him overcome some of the chaos that had characterized his life until then. But many of the old demons remained, including his penchant for self-medicating with alcohol, and he ended up in a detox program, where a talented therapist helped him work through some of those demons.

One of the central messages of Henderson’s memoir is that a non-stable childhood family life is not just bad because it hurts your chances of getting into an elite college or attaining a high-paying job later in life, but also because those raised in such an environment experience “pain that etches itself into their bodies and brains and propels them to do things in the pursuit of relief that often inflict even more harm.”

Given their difference in backgrounds, Henderson found many of the social rituals of his classmates incomprehensible. One example was when the Yale campus erupted in hysteria over an email from Erika Christakis to the students of Silliman residential college, of which she served as co-master with her husband Nicholas, suggesting that they were old enough to work out themselves which Halloween costumes to wear, without asking the administration to issue an elaborate set of rules to avoid “microaggressions” or “cultural appropriation” — e.g., a white student wearing a sombrero. After the childhood and teenage years he experienced, a fellow student in a sombrero did not seem like such a big deal to Henderson.

Erika was eventually force to resign her position in Silliman and on the Yale faculty, much to Henderson’s disappointment, as he had been eager to take her course on early childhood development. Meanwhile, the black undergraduate who confronted Nicholas Christakis in the Silliman courtyard, in an expletive-laden tirade, in front of a group of students cheering her on, was given an award for extracurricular excellence at the next Yale graduation.

Henderson offers an invaluable term to describe the opinions expressed so fiercely and with no tolerance of opposing views by his fellow undergrads: “luxury beliefs.” Luxury beliefs, as Henderson defines them, “confer status on the upper class at little cost, while often inflicting costs on the lower classes.” The conspicuous displays of wealth and leisure activities that broadcast elite status in Thorstein Veblen’s time have been replaced by opinions and beliefs that give proof of one’s elite education. After all, Henderson notes ironically, how many non-Ivy-League-educated Americans can easily toss off terms like “cisgender” or “heteronormative”?

Mantras such as “defund the police” are luxury beliefs because their impact on those living in gated communities or the most affluent neighborhoods is likely to be negligible. Henderson comments about the policies implemented to combat white privilege, “It won’t be Yale graduates who are harmed. Poor white people will bear the brunt.”

He recounts the story of a refugee from the North Korean police state, attending Columbia University, who raised concerns about the anti-free speech movement on campus, only to be taunted with “Go back to Pyongyang” on a social media site for Ivy League students. Normally, nothing will earn faster exile to social media purgatory than telling an immigrant, “Go back to where you came from,” but this particular refugee was deemed deserving of insult, writes Henderson, because she “undermined these people’s view of themselves as morally righteous.”

Incidentally, I would rank as near the top of “luxury beliefs” the familiar chants about Israeli genocide and apartheid. They cost their proponents nothing, yet effectively broadcast one’s moral righteousness and humanity, not to mention elite education, especially when terms like settler-colonialism and intersectionality are thrown into the mix.

Henderson is primarily concerned with the way that bad ideas — e.g., dismissal of matrimony and monogamy as passé, decriminalization of drugs — filter downstream in the culture, where they wreak havoc. As Charles Murray thoroughly documents in Breaking Apart, rates of marriage, children living in two-parent homes, and attendance at religious services have remained more or less constant in the most affluent quintile of the population, while plummeting in the lower quintiles. But on elite campuses, marriage is more likely to be portrayed as a prison for women, just as the same students for whom the words “capitalist oppression” roll trippingly off their tongues can be found the same day lining up for interviews with Goldman Sachs.

But the danger posed by the holders of luxury beliefs lies not only in their pernicious cultural influence. Holders of those views are quite comfortable with the use of coercion to advance their beliefs. Four-fifths of the super elites, interviewed in the Rasmussen poll cited above, would ban gas-powered cars. Just under 90 percent support strict rationing of meat, gas, and electricity, and 70 percent would ban all nonessential air travel.

The impact of these restrictions on the most affluent would likely be relatively small. They can afford electric cars, and would buy carbon offsets to circumvent some of the most onerous rationing or purchase them on the black market. And dollars to donuts that their air travel would be deemed necessary. The impact of such policies on the less affluent doesn’t figure into their calculations.

Elite campuses have been focal points for the limitations on free speech, and over half of the super elites educated on those campuses describe Americans as possessing too much freedom. That goes with a general contempt for markets, which allocate equal weight to the choices of the unenlightened and the enlightened.

That concern with “too much” freedom goes together with a remarkable trust in government among 70 percent of the elites and 90 percent of the super elites. Government is beneficent, in their eyes, because it can force people to do what the enlightened have determined is good. The elites know that their hands will be on the levers of coercion, particularly administrative agencies. (I would wager that the majority of those lower-level staffers staging mini-rebellions in the White House and the State Department over American support for Israel’s war on Hamas are holders of elite credentials.) Ronald Reagan’s quip, “The nine most terrifying words in the English language are, ‘I’m from the government, and I’m here to help,’ ” does not resonate with the elites.

Sixty years before Rob Henderson first stepped onto the Yale campus, another man already in his mid-twenties entered Harvard as an undergraduate. Like Henderson, Thomas Sowell came from a deprived background and served in the military before entering college. He was born in the Jim-Crow-era South, in a home without electricity, and served in the Marines during the Korean War, after dropping out of high school.

The 1969 black student riots at Cornell, where Sowell was an economics professor, and subsequent pressure at UCLA to lower his standards for students, soured Sowell on academia, which he left for a position as senior fellow at the Hoover Institution almost half a century ago.

Over 50 years and almost 40 books, most still in print and many of them standard texts in economics, and ten volumes of collected columns, Sowell has leveled a sustained critique at the dominant intellectual doctrines of our day, in particular those of his fellow black intellectuals, whom he views as having spectacularly failed the black masses by advocating for policies that may serve their interests but not those of the large majority of American blacks. (Only about one-third of his writing concerns issues of race, and he has penned classic works in intellectual, social, and economic history.) Jason Riley’s intellectual biography of Sowell is appropriately titled Maverick.

In a short new work, Social Justice Fallacies, which I would commend to every college student and social justice warrior, Sowell fleshes out many of Henderson’s observations, including the detachment of elite theorists from the lives of those whom they purport to advocate, and their sometimes subtle, sometimes not, contempt for those whom they view as their inferiors.

The second chapter compares the Progressive movement of the early decades of the 20th century to present-day progressives. At first glance, it would appear that little connects the two groups, apart from their position on the political left of their day. A strong streak of racial determinism characterized the early progressives, and many of their leading lights fretted about the disastrous impact of an influx of people of inferior races to America. By contrast, today’s progressives start from the premise that there are no differences between races and that all differential outcomes are a result of systemic racism.

In the earlier period, Professor Edward Ross, the chairman of the American Sociological Society, warned that America was headed toward “race suicide” by virtue of being inundated by people of “inferior types.” American universities and colleges taught hundreds of courses in eugenics, defined as the reduction or prevention of the survival of people considered genetically inferior. The most famous economist of the 20th century, John Maynard Keynes, was founder of the Eugenics Society at Cambridge.

Irving Fisher of Yale, the leading monetary economist of the period, advocated for the isolation or sterilization of those inferior types. Or as Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes put it, “Three generations of idiots are enough.” Sowell remarks upon how casually Fisher spoke of imprisonment of those who had committed no crime and the denial of normal life to all regarded as inferior. Not by accident did Hitler yemach shemo term a work on eugenics by Madison Grant, a leading conservationist and advocate for national parks and the protection of endangered species, his Bible.

At first glance, today’s progressives could not seem further removed from their namesakes. They are the opposite of racial determinists. In the modern progressive creed, all differences in outcomes between people of different races can have one and only one explanation: discrimination by the majority group.

Despite the opposite views on race, Sowell finds important continuities between the progressive movement of the early 20th century and that of today. Today’s progressives share, according to Sowell, their predecessors’ aversion to confronting empirical evidence that challenges their fixed verities, and a similar inclination to respond to empirical challenges with ad hominem insults — racist being the most powerful — rather than with counter-arguments and evidence.

And they are similarly inclined to use government power to coerce the less enlightened to behave in accord with their “expert” opinions, and too frequently oblivious to or unconcerned with the impact of their policy prescriptions on those constituting the “lower orders,” in their minds.

Woodrow Wilson, perhaps the leading figure of the Progressive era, served as president of Princeton before being elected president. Like many of his fellow progressives, he was an unabashed racist who insisted that black employees in government offices be physically segregated.

But what joins him to present-day progressives is his enormous confidence in government by experts. He presided over a massive expansion of the federal government and the creation of many of the largest administrative agencies, run by “experts.” He viewed the Constitution as outmoded for a modern age. But not to worry, government agencies headed by experts would usher in a “new freedom,” albeit not quite the freedom of a constitution limiting the power of government and enshrining individual rights.

Today, DEI bureaucracies on almost every campus seek to enforce right-thinking and enter into every aspect of university governance, including faculty hiring. Those mushrooming bureaucracies account for a large part in the explosion in higher education costs.

Sowell takes aim at the racial theories of the early progressives and contemporary ones alike. He seeks to empirically refute the claim that each race has a different “ceiling” for intelligence. (If anecdotes were data, his own genius would serve as refutation.) He met with and debated Professor Albert Jensen, one of the leading modern proponents of that view.

Sowell argues that environment, not inherent ceilings, underlies much of the difference in IQ between races. For instance, those raised in the Hebrides Isles and the hill country of Kentucky, though of pure Anglo-Saxon stock, have IQs comparable to American blacks. And like American blacks, their IQs tend to decline from childhood to adulthood. Social isolation appears to be the key. Sowell cites another study that blacks raised by white adoptive parents had IQs six points above the national average.

As an amusing example of the fallibility of IQ tests as measures of inherent capabilities, Sowell quotes Carl Brigham, who developed the SAT test. Brigham claimed on the basis of army mental tests administered in World War I that the myth that Jews are on average highly intelligent had been refuted. At least he had the good grace to admit by 1930, as Jews excelled on standardized tests, that his earlier conclusions had been without merit, and had failed to take into account that most immigrant children were raised in non-English-speaking homes.

Sowell is equally effective skewering the present-day progressive belief that all differences in outcomes are explained as products of racial discrimination. He chafes at the resultant cult of victimization that stands in the way of examination of cultural behavioral factors that prevent black advancement.

He insists that behaviors count and explain a great deal of the differences in income levels between different racial groups. For instance, black married couples have experienced poverty rates of less than 10 percent for decades, which is less than the national poverty rate for all families. And black married couples have higher income levels than white single-parent families. The problem is that black marriage rates overall are lower.

It is often said that the high illegitimacy rate in the black community is attributable to the “legacy of slavery.” But for nearly a century after slavery, the rates were relatively low. In 1940, they were one-quarter of what they are today. Sowell suggests that the rapid expansion of the welfare state in the 1960s explains much of that rise, as births to single mothers have also risen rapidly in Sweden, the welfare paradise, where there is no legacy of slavery.

Evidence cited to show discrimination against black children by “white supremacists” — e.g., discipline rates two and a half times those of white students — proves the opposite, Sowell suggests. For white students are themselves twice as likely to be disciplined as Asian students. Perhaps, then, disruptive behavior, rather than discrimination, explains differential rates of discipline. To get rid of school discipline in the name of equity leads to schools in which it is impossible to learn, and ends up harming black students, he argues. Attacks on discriminatory school discipline is thus another one of those “luxury beliefs,” like defunding the police.

One of the major causes of the burst housing bubble of 2007, which Sowell predicted, was government pressure on lenders to greatly reduce credit requirements for mortgages. The regulators’ theory was that blacks were being discriminated against in the mortgage market, as evidenced by the higher rate of rejection for black mortgage applicants. The only problem with the discrimination hypothesis, Sowell shows, was that black-owned banks rejected black mortgage applicants at even higher rates.

The hypothesis that different income levels are exclusively a function of discrimination founders on the fact that other minority groups — e.g., Asians — have, on average, incomes well above the medium national income, and dark-skinned Asian Indians earn on average $39,000 more per annum than full-time, year-round white workers.

The victimization narrative, in Sowell’s eyes, is not only unhelpful but damaging to blacks, as it shifts the focus from one of encouraging the types of behaviors that are associated with success. In the immediate wake of slavery, and for nearly a century afterwards, almost all graduates of all-black Dunbar High in Washington, D.C., went on to college. Black and Hispanic kids in New York City charter schools are six times as likely to pass city math proficiency exams as their counterparts in the regular public schools. Why? Sowell wants to know.

Focusing on the behaviors that foster success rather than wallowing in a narrative of discrimination — which he personally experienced in his younger years and does not deny still exists today — is for Sowell the key to black advancement. And that requires more empirical study and less airy theorizing.

Many of the panaceas that derive from au courant theories have been conclusively refuted on the ground. Black political power in most of America’s largest cities, for instance, has done little to change the lives of the vast majority of black citizens. And affirmative action has, in Sowell’s view, reinforced stereotypes of black inferiority, among whites and, even worse, among blacks themselves, while doing little to help inner city blacks.

Without a clear-eyed attention to empirical evidence and an openness to debate based on facts and logic, in Sowell’s terminology, we are forever consigned to the realm of “luxury beliefs.”

[lacyjaybird]

For @inukag-week 2024 I'm going to start off with a re-post since I'm late to finding out and didn't have time to make a new one lol guess you guys are getting my favorite one shot instead!

Day 1 theme : Yearning

set during the 3 year separation

"Jealous"

Thunder rolled in the distance as the married couple settled in for the night. “It’s fixing to storm..” Sango muttered, looking worried at the noren as she tucked the twins into bed, their identical faces completely at peace for once. Sitting back on her heels, her right hand was drawn to her pregnant belly as if by a magnet, mindlessly caressing the mound. 

Miroku sighed, setting the cast iron pot on its hook to dry. “You know how he has gotten with the rain recently.” he smiled reassuringly, trying to mask his own worry and calm his wifes. He always worried about his silver haired companion. Especially when it rained. 

The man in question stood in the center of a familiar field by an old worn well. The wind tore at his robes like desperate hands, his alabaster tresses whipping around him like a sentient being. Golden eyes, previously hidden beneath bangs, drew up towards thick black clouds just as the first drops touched the soft downy fur covering the inner cone of his canine ears, making them twitch. Those eyes hid once again, this time by copper toned lids as their owner’s chin remained pointed towards the sky, welcoming the warm torrent. 

“Kagome told me about how all the water in the world stays the same, just goes through a weird cycle and gets used again. “ He thought, embracing the drops as they got fatter and heavier, drenching him in moments. His hair and robes now clung to his body like a second skin. “Maybe..” he thought, clenching his fist. “Maybe the same rain that’s touching my face right now will find her in the future. Maybe.. maybe she’ll think of me.” It was the only thing he held on to nowadays. 

A year and a half ago, during a storm like this, Inuyasha had been reminded of the lesson. Shippo had inquired about evaporation because the tea he had set aside that morning was half empty when he returned that evening. 

“You see..” Kagome began, her teaching voice in full motion. She gestured to the first crude drawing in the dirt. It was of an ocean. “This is representing all the water in the whole world. The sun heats it up and it rises into the sky as vapors,” as she spoke, her fingers moved along the diagram. “ And those vapors build up as clouds. Once the clouds become too heavy, the condensed vapors turn into rain drops and fall back to the earth and replenish the lakes, rivers and oceans!” She had stood up then, her ebony locks dancing as she victoriously placed her fist on her hips. “So.. the water we have now is the same water in your time?” Sango had asked, reviewing the sketches. “Well.. essentially yes.” Kagome laughed, not wanting to try and explain weather patterns and other countries and wind variables. “I guess you can say that!” 

As soon as he had remembered, Inuyasha had gone outside and stood among the droplets. He had a chance to vicariously be with her. Now he stood, jealous of the rain in her time. The rain that got to touch her skin. The rain that was closer to her than his hands had been. The rain that was closer to her than her own shadow. He wished her the best that her world had to give her. It didn’t mean he didn’t wish for her to suddenly appear and tell him how much she had missed him. How she found no happiness without him by her side. How she had been as restless as he. 

So there he was, eyes closed, drenched from ear tip to toe. Maybe.. maybe some of those rain drops would carry him to her in the far off land that was her home. 

500 years later, a young High School third year ran up the daunting steps towards her home, trying to beat the rain clouds that loomed ominously above her. A crack of thunder sent shivers up her spine as she hit the top step and began to feel the warm drops on her navy colored school uniform. As she ran across the shrine grounds, the bottom fell out, completely soaking her in moments. “No!” she cried, feeling defeated in having lost the race. As she went to pass the well house she stopped, a force asking her to cease. And once she did, she closed her eyes and lifted her face to the sky, the drops touching her lips as warm as a pair she saw in her dreams. 

The rain felt like a warm hug, reaching to her soul, wrapping around her like strong tanned arms. A gentle smile played on her lips as she remembered the owners light chuckle, his deep thrumming growl, his pink tinted cheeks as her hand intertwined in his. 

“Kagome!” her mothers voice called from the porch, “Come inside, dear! You’ll catch cold! Dinner is ready! I made ramen!” With one last longing look towards the well, Kagome hurried to her home, thankful for the moment of peace in her usually restless life as she longed for the grouchy owner of a pair of eyes the color of spun gold. 

[mr2swap]

Exchange therapy: Take a picture of "me"

-Hey son! Take a picture of me with Superman! The boys in the gym will love this! - my son slowly leaned towards the plastic statue that attracted so much attention from all the children, I took out the cell phone from a small backpack and with my small hands pointed towards the 30-year-old frontman me and took the picture then flexed his arms showing the messy hairy bush that was in his armpit even though now I'm in my son's skinny body and I can't smoke or drink I was having fun, unlike my son I was sober, maybe it wasn't a good idea to leave him my credit card, but he knows what he's doing, and I'm having an amazing time at the water park!

The relaxed and carefree life of a teenage boy had completely intoxicated me, there were times when I even forgot that the man with the hairy pecs in front of me was originally me, the body-swapping machine had done a great job with us, everyone our skills and memories were also exchanged, I barely remember what it was like to be an adult, I even forgot how to drive!

Before all this relationship with my son was screwed, we used to argue all the time and my son started to hide things from me like that my son was actually gay and that my ex-wife had a hot new boyfriend, after the divorce with his mother my son's grades dropped to the ground, he started fighting at school and behaving like a real bratty teenager. Still, of course, that was after-life swapping therapy.

The school psychologist recommended me to one of her colleagues with an experimental therapy sponsored by SwapCorp, it's pretty simple me and my son swapped our lives for a month to understand each other better, and after that… well we're still at it, supposed that would only last a week, the therapy was a complete success!

The first thing my son did when he got home changed his clothes and go straight to the gym to test his new strength and the first thing I did was lock myself in my new room to play video games, eat Doritos and discover the pleasure of jerking off a cock. Young and virgin with my soft little hands, when he started touching me I couldn't stop until I shoot my hot and stinky load on a dirty used t-shirt.

In just one week, my son had become a responsible adult, I didn't even miss a day of work when he was in my body. I don't think anyone touched him we exchanged our bodies, not even my ex-wife, it was a bit awkward when I heard her new boyfriend fuck while I was sleeping in the next room in my son's body.

But the strangest thing was when guided by my adolescent instincts I quietly sneaked into my wife's room and masturbated watching how my new "dad" fucked the witch who had made my life miserable for so many years, her new boyfriend was super hot! He had a thick cock and a hairy ass that took all the attention away from my wife's breasts that I missed so much.

With one hand I tried to silence the moans that came out of my mouth and with the other, I massaged my teenage cock until I ejaculated while she wore the pajamas my son had given her the year before for Christmas.

While reviewing the photos on the phone, my son ordered a couple of drinks and flirted with the bartender. I had been away from romance for too long, but my son had only been in my body for a couple of weeks, and now he's quite a casanova, maybe it's better if we stay like this for another time he seems to be enjoying his new authority and his new responsibilities as a single father.

This is supposed to be only temporary, but the doctor secretly confided in me that we could stay like this as long as we wanted we just need to both agree on this, it's not so bad being an ordinary teenager when you get used to having to masturbate 6 times a day with gay porn and getting a boner in sports class.

Hey! You can support me to continue creating stories and see all my stories on my patreon and have access to the stories on my discord server.