#old men yaoi we love them

[wintermav]

I dreamt about a nursing student/nurse Wilson x Dr House AU, so I needed for it to become real (in a way) 😭

[sharlinefreire]

i'm so obsessed with them.

[evelynpr]

You ever think about how All Might has two male exes that both have a child with blonde hair, blue eyes, and a big heart?

[paepaerest]

my treasures :D

[mathes0n]

I feel like as a matured adult I could go back to shipping bill x ford in a completely nonsensical shitposty way but that’s only if I pretend Fiddleford doesn’t exist and I can’t do that

[lesbworth]

a probably incomplete list and rating of all the britcoms i have watched and how gay they are

somehow, during my short life, i have managed to watch an obscene amount of britcom, mostly through family osmosis. this probably explains a lot about who i am today. i have recently been thinking about just how many of these things have passed through my eyeballs over the years and also just how many of them range from kind of to very to unbelievably gay. so here is a list rating how gay they all are out of 10 because i always love a list!

notes:

many of these i watched at a tender age so i remember kind of fuck all and i have not rewatched any for the purposes of this. so be aware that several of these reviews are based on hazy recollections of vibes

yes some of the ones with canon queer characters are going to have lower ratings than some of the ones without that's simply how the cookie crumbles. sometimes a show is just packed to the absolute brim with pure trademark typically english inexplicable repressed homoeroticism and it makes it feel gayer than one where a character came out

let's say 5/10 is what i consider the "average" level of britcom homoeroticism but other than that there's no system to the ratings just vibes fr

-

1960s

dad's army

this is probably the one i started watching at the youngest age, but i watched so damn much of it. i was too young to be looking out for this kind of thing but considering it fits the classic britcom format of revolving around the strong bonds between a cast that fails to pass the bechdel test i'm gonna make an educated guess at 3/10. there's probably old man yaoi in there somewhere. (and if i had to pick the main ship it would clearly be mainwaring/wilson)

1970s

all creatures great and small

i mean. OBJECTIVELY. it is not gay. it's literally based on real people who as far as we know were not in the least gay. but THERE'S JUST A WEIRD VIBE. AM I CRAZY? TELL ME I'M NOT CRAZY 5/10 (it's probably partly a side effect of watching this as a babygay since i would basically headcanon the whole main cast of anything i watched as bisexual. good times. i also had tristan farnon gender envy)

fawlty towers

really heterosexual vibe i will not lie. at least 60% propped up by classic i hate my wife humour. if there's anything queer in there it did not impress itself upon me 0/10 at least it inspired vicious

the good life

ostensibly this is about two married couples but it emits such an oddly bisexual energy??? like they're a polycule. to me. which is already basically canon since they have the whole wifeswap dynamic but i mean tom and jerry (yes really) are giving exes and margo and barbara have probably snogged a couple of times. TO ME. 6/10

only when i laugh

on balance i think it's probably at least a bit homoerotic considering the bechdel test metric again but despite having decently clear memories of it i can't think of anything particularly. i'll give it a 4/10 and as a raffles fan christopher strauli being there adds a point LMAO

porridge

despite being set in a men's prison i don't think it gets a very high score... let's go 4/10 because i'm sure there's enough there to go off of. pretty sure there were also many jokes about gay sex as can be expected. also inspired red dwarf

rising damp

going to be so for real the main thing i remember is the racism. 1/10? there are enough male characters that there might have been something idk

to the manor born

i mean it's a straight romance but it's not toooo hetero. audrey and marjory are kind of schoolgirl exes yuri #if you think about it. in fact i remember a scene where they're gushing about how they both had a crush on one of their schoolmistresses? 5.5/10?

whatever happened to the likely lads?

i THINK i've watched episodes of this. i know my parents have the box set. but i cannot for the life of me recall anything from it. just based on the premise though, i'll give it a strong 5/10

1980s

'allo 'allo!

girl... i forgor. i don't think so? i mean let's give it 3/10 for being set in france. also i have been reminded that there's an implied gay nazi, diversity win

blackadder (all series)

absolutely. "i cannot conceive", etc and so on. the crossdressing shenanigans. fry & laurie are there. just has a fruitiness about it generally. 7/10

only fools and horses

eeehh. all-male main cast but they're a family which hinders its ability to serve homo. generally giving very straight energy. 1/10 in case i forgot something

red dwarf

the fucking show that led me to make this ranking in the first place. grant naylor you will be dealt with. 10/10

a very peculiar practice

i didn't watch much of this and it was a long time ago but distinctly remember getting some kind of A Vibe. and looking it up apparently one of the main characters is canonically bi?? damn 7/10

yes, minister (and yes, prime minister)

look. LOOK. there's just something about it. it's the father of the thick of it which is british succession to me. also sir humphrey is homosexual there is literally no other way to read him nigel hawthorne told me himself actually. go and watch the homoerotic wispa ad 7/10

you rang, m'lord?

i actually haven't watched any full episodes of this but i must give it a 7/10 for the inclusion of CISSY the stylish 1920s aristocratic butch communist who could have walked right out of le monocle. love it

1990s

drop the dead donkey

this was such a deep cut i actually forgot it existed until making this list. i know i watched quite a lot of it to be honest but i can't remember shit other than that i liked one of the women's hair. i think it was pretty straight? NEVERMIND THERE'S A LESBIAN IN IT HOW DID I FORGET ABOUT A WHOLE LESBIAN 6/10

father ted

to be honest i don't think this comes from quite the same place homoeroticism-wise as most of the others on this list given that it's irish and not english (not to disparage oscar wilde of course!). catholic yaoi...? i really don't think so 2/10 for the catholicism also get fucked graham linehan

jeeves and wooster

let's be serious now. 9/10 i <3 gay people. i was raised on the books which also probably explains a lot about me... and naturally i have also always gotten severe gender envy from bertie

mr. bean

is mr. bean really considered britcom. can i leave him out. i'm going to leave him out

one foot in the grave

now i am certain i have watched this because i remember the theme song and vaguely the title sequence but i also forgot about its existence until this list. honestly i think it was just giving constant i hate my wifeism even the imprint where a memory once was of it that i have feels tiring 0/10

the royle family

painfully straight but in the way your irl straight friends are. if that makes sense. 1/10

2000s

black books

maybe i watched this at an overly impressionable age but like... it's giving. it's got the odd couple the domesticity the found family if you will. the m/f platonic relationships. also tamsin greig in that haircut? i remember always being so unconvinced that fran was straight that woman looks sooo lesbian 8/10 and FUCK graham linehan

the it crowd

very classic britcomism (you're my wife roy! you're my wife!!!) and i mean the guys snog on screen that is very much a thing that happened. also i just don't really think richard ayoade can totally play straight despite being a straight man. also the main three kind of have rancid bisexual polycule potential. also there's a goth. also i would watch gay! a gay musical. 7/10 AND FUCK GRAHAM LINEHAN!!!!!!

peep show

classic britcom homoerotic odd couple except one of them is actually bisexual and played by a bisexual actor. and the other is "possibly bi but basically uncurious". and they ALSO snog on screen. i haven't watched much of this to my shame but I Know What It Is 8/10

the thick of it

BRITISH SUCCESSION. i swear to god you would all be foaming at the mouth about this if it came out at a time and context to be big on tumblr. malcolm tucker god's worst bisexual 7.5/10 by the way that's an incredibly homophobic headline you massive poof!

2010s

ghosts

8.5/10 right off the bat brother firstly it's a six idiots show which already guarantees a high score but also it's genuinely very sweet with regards to canon queerness and the characters are flamboyant and lovable in a way guaranteed to attract the kind of queer fandom it has today. captain my beloved

upstart crow

i mean of course it's about shakespeare and it doesn't shy away from implying he's queer but the general vibe is not suuuper fruity. i'll say 6.5/10

vicious

this is what i'm TALKING ABOUTTT i'm so glad this show exists in the world. genuinely what would we even do if there WASN'T a show about ian mckellen and derek jacobi being a gay couple of 50 years who hate each other 11/10

yonderland

i feel like this makes ghosts too low but i wanted to put yonderland a bit higher for the sheer amount of environmental queerness knocking about in there and also the general campiness of it all. six idiots moment. 9/10 the elders are incredible ho-tan you will always be famous queen

2020s

staged

yeah. 9/10

-

thank you for reading 🙏 honestly i basically just made this for the appeal of making A List but absolutely feel free to argue with me about the ratings, suggest your own fav britcoms not listed here, et cetera

(also have fun spotting the same fucking people in half of them LMAO. i fear british tv is never beating the 3 actors allegations)

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

Now I have to ask- WHY do you hate Pacific Rim?

Okay, fair warning, this is about as bitter and salty and small-minded as day-old caviar. But. My bitter, salty (probably fishy) opinion:

Pacific Rim is only a good movie because it's a well-written story about robots punching monsters.

That's it. That's all there is to the movie.

I started out merely disappointed by Pacific Rim. We went gaga for the preview materials that promised these unique well-rounded character pairs and trios with these idiosyncratic robots from all these different Pacific nations... And then the movie itself is about some bland white American guy who pilots a robot named a racial slur, the second most fleshed-out team is bland white Australian guys, and the Chinese team is there, kind of, in the background, but don't worry they're going to die first. The "character-driven story" turned out to be "various characters take turns punching aliens" but, sure, whatever, I love the MCU so why not.

The day I went from "Pacific Rim is overrated" to "Pacific Rim is the worst thing that has ever happened to human civilization, I'm extremely normal about this" was the day I saw a Tumblr post suggesting we replace the Bechdel test with the Mako Mori test. Because Mako Mori has her own plot and doesn't kiss North Carolina at the end, making her a whole new type of feminist icon.

To which I was like:

We are talking about the same movie here, right? The Pacific Rim that can't even pass the Bechdel test? The Pacific Rim that's all about might-makes-right, the Pacific Rim that has ONE speaking role for ONE female character in its (from IMDB) 50-person cast? The Pacific Rim that repeatedly puts its only female character in danger and has her rescued by first Idris Elba then North Carolina? THAT Pacific Rim?

Is there a different Mako Mori I haven't met? Because the one I've seen a) has a character arc driven by deciding whether to obey her father or follow her heart, which is as inoffensive and stale as an unblessed communion wafer, b) does nothing that Ellen Ripley didn't do 30 years earlier, but with about 5% of the character depth Ripley got, and c) stands there in silence looking sad as two men punch each other over the question of her virtue.

Any post assuming this movie invented the idea of "small Asian woman kicks monster ass" needs to learn its damn history. Especially the ones acting like her being physically small is somehow a feminist bonus. There's something embarrassingly ahistorical about the whole thing.

And look. I get how we got here. I know how easily Tumblr backs you into a rhetorical corner of "calling a story Good can never mean merely 'enjoyable'; calling a story Good must mean 'virtuous'". Until next thing you know you're arguing that actually, shipping Obi-Wan/Darth Vader is a net good for all of society, because gay divorced middle-aged tyrants who use supplemental oxygen and murdered their exes in a custody dispute over the one kid (out of two) they actually care about deserve to see themselves in sci fi too! You only end up in that corner because half the time you're arguing against someone who says that shipping Obi-Wan/Darth Vader is literally the same thing as supporting father-son incest, so your real reasons for shipping them (1. foe yay, 2. old man yaoi) seem wildly insufficient.

Much of what I see about Pacific Rim seems neck-deep in the "it's not allowed to be a Good Movie unless it single-handedly dismantles the patriarchy" fallacy. There's nothing progressive about shipping two dudes best known for chopping off each other's body parts with laser swords. And there's nothing progressive about a movie having its only female character hug the male protagonist at the end instead of kissing him. You're allowed to like a thing just because it's well-made, without acting like a bog-standard normatively-broey action flick somehow invented a new form of feminism. Anyway, "Pacific Rim is a perfectly fine movie" is the hill I will die upon, heretical though it may be.

[yellcrow]

OLD MAN YAOI, I REPEAT OLD MAN YAOI !

We love overworked tired men and their caring boyfriends !

I love drawing them but I'm still struggling with their designs a bit (especially Brassius "hair" O.o )

[xaythefreak]

Hey, its me the "old man bots yaoi couples" enjoyer the one who sent to you. Im here to bring me more because im quite normal about drift and ratchet. Very normal...

(Why have one bot, when you can have two?.. heh.. it's a package deal. Im so sigma/hj/silly)

Anyway-!! AHEM burps this at u:

Drift truly believes you’re the missing third spark to his and Ratchet’s bond— that Primus wants the three of you to be together. Every word, glance, or moment of kindness from you is a sign. Even your fear? Drift chalks it up to being overwhelmed by fate.

Drift constantly calls you little one, starlight, or our spark. Yes, our. He already sees you as part of the bond. (Sweetspark, sparkmate..... we need more nicknames, like- "my sweet discord kitten e-liaison. Our darling mate human-") gets shot 98 times

He tells Ratchet every night how lucky they are to have "found you".

Ratchet isn’t delusional— he knows you didn’t agree to any of this. But that doesn’t matter. You’re his patient, his responsibility. His.

He monitors your vitals 24/7, programs the doors to restrict your movement, and disables any datapad you try to send out.

Ratchet is sharper, more grounded— he knows your relationship isn’t real… yet. But that doesn’t stop him from locking down your access routes and tracking your vitals obsessively. (Him and the other scientists bots or smth. A working together. Brainstorm and percy is right at his back yayaya)

He rationalizes his obsession as safety: the Lost Light is dangerous, and your body is too fragile for normal routines. (Be so fr like, imagine if we sneeze or crack our fingers infront of him and he's go haywire and panic mode, thinking if we're terribly ill or sick or smth.)

He controls what you eat, where you sleep, and who you talk to— because no one else is qualified to handle a human. (I like to see other bots fighting for our reader ass smh. Its like watching a cat fight/j..)

He sometimes argues with Drift about being too fast or too gentle, but they always circle back to the same thing:

“We love them. We’re the only ones who do.”

You are now the squishy center of one very obsessed, very in-sync, very delusional mech-marriage. (Time to sign the marriage papers or sparkbond or smth.. idk)

(Look at this old ass love sickfools... they make me SICK/ affectionately)

Something about drift being delusional and ratchet being possessive and protective towards reader, scratches my brain right and flip my the switch very good.... oh my primus, they're so overbearing perhaps overwhelming— i migjt explode right here, right now!!!!!! /hj.... (I migjt send this more in your inbox if thats okay w yoi. In honesty i was nervous to send this at you 😭😭😭)

from this day fourth you shall be called "old man yaoi anon" /j

but AAAAAAAA jumping around shaking the bars of my enclosure /pos

save me old man yaoi save me,,,

doing kinky medical shit with ratchet as Drift praises us as he jorks it woah what was that must've been the wind /j

BUT this is so cute,,, both of them being delusional ass old men who just wants to keep their precious lil human safe <33

Imagine if Ratchet finds a way to you pregnant w/ him and Drifts sparkling,,,, oooohhh,, oughhhh,,,,

also PLEASE send more stuff in my inbox if you want!! i LOVE YAPPING!!!!!! /gen /nf

[screewithahat]

watching tgm again enjoy my notes . I love this movie

skipping the first 15 minutes bc I only care ab the daggers /silly

mav please PLEASE get a profile picture for your husband thats not just “ice”

rooster I see you looking at hangman’s lips. I see you.

GRR THE WAY HANGMAN CLOSES THE BAR DOORS I LOVE MEN!!!

”damn straight!” hangman just so we’re clear *you* are not straight

“let’s try not to get fired on the first day” sorry I CRINGE SO HARD every time that line is said WHY DOES HE SAY IT LIKE THAT.

I NEED BRADLEY BRADSHAW CARNALLY

AND JAKE SERSIN GOD THE PUSH-UPS THEIR SO HOT.

hangman watches his boyfriend and this random old man he dosent know beef out in a nose dive and goes whattt the fuckkkkk

”he pulled my papers” bradly rooster bradshaw you said that in the most sad wet pathetic cat voice ever

chilling about and then the flyboys picture come on screen and I get HIT with twink mav. I love him

thinking about how amelia is the only gen z so she could clock all their tea with saying the silliest things and none of them would know what she means

MAVERICK PLEASE FOLLOW THE ROAD LAWS YOU JUSY BLEW COMPLETELY PAST A STOP SIGN. PLEASE. GOD I KNOW YOUR STUPID BUT AT LEAST FOLLOW THE ROAD LAWS !!!!!!!

wait so who exactly is the enemy here. in tg its the soviets bc that’s what the whole movie was made for, get people in the navy to fight in the cold war. WHO DID WE HAVE BEEF WITH IN 2022

rooster I see your gay ass looks at hangman. I know what you are.

hangster is icemav but hangman is mav and rooster is ice im not elaborating that is correct

hangman’s so gay it loops back to misogyny

gay ass push of your boyfriend rooster I see you going for the tit

already crying over my old man icemav and all ice did was text mav

ice has a “wife” (we all know he’s married to mav) but still has a picture of him and his boyfriend framed

mav just wants to talk to his husband bc that’s his husband but his husband said no we have to talk about our job rn I know your struggling you don’t get to bottle it up

”it’s time to let go” so hey, im sobbing. “I don’t know how” I WILL SOB HARDER.

“the only reason im here is you” men will say anything but I love you

MY BABIES (old men) I LOVE THEM SO MUCH WAHHHFHEJWHW WHH I love old men yaoi

OH ID KNOW THAT WISTLE ANYWHERE !!! “football scene came on the screen” I DID TOO

bradley helping his uncle up is actually so sweet like they hate eachother but he’ll help his uncle out :(

BOB MY BELOVED!! I LOVE YOU BOB!!!!

AGAIN MAV. THERE IS A STOP SIGN THERE THAT SOMEONE (YOU) KEEP BLOWING OFF.

skipping another 5 min bc I do not care for mav being in love with a woman in my heart he only has eyes for ice

I ALWAYS CACKLE AT MAV AND AMEILA JUST STARING AT EACHOTHER

I ALWAYS FORGET BOB AND PHEIONIX GO DOWN I KNOW THEIR OKAY BUT MY BABIES

oh shit it’s the pulled my papers scene time to start sobbing BRADLEY MY BABY WAHHHH

”no kids. nobody to mourn you when you burn in.” so hear me out. I jump. MAVERICK IS NOT RECOVERING FROM THAT EVER AURGERRRR BRADLEY YOU BASICALLY ARE HIS KID !!! YOUR HIS GODSON!! HIS NEWPHEW!!! YOU CANT BE SAYING THIS!!!!! (actually he can his hate is justified)

“my dad believed in you. im not gonna make the same mistake.” STOP STIP STOP STIP STIP STOP STIP SOTP

ices funeral :( im gonna stand and salute the whole time idc how cringe I am it makes me so sad. especially now after val passed.

the. the way mav pushes his wings into ices coffin. im. sobbing. curled up in a corner sobbing and holding my knees. crying sobbing pissing shitting

”mav u are grounded >:((“ “nuh uh…”

my cat is watching as eagerly as I am w mav completing this mission to prove it can be done

I like how the screen gets bigger during the more intense scenes . idk random but !! I love film

mav I see you with wings didnt you push those into ices coffin? yeah that’s what I thought you stole ices wings. you gay ass.

boat

“talk to me goose” I shouted so loud my cat looked at me with concern .

bradley you are sooo pretty

“give em hell.” again, men will say anything but I love you.

PLANE!!!!

my mama just called me. she asked what I was doing and when I said watching top gun maverick she let out the loudest sigh and just went “oh jeez…” SORRY MOM I LOVE THIS MOVIE!!!

”talk to me dad” so. you just stabbed me. deep. in the heart. my baby.

I like the little fun fact that rooster hitting his head in the pop up wasn’t planned at all it just happened and the directors thought it worked well and left it in

boom explosion explosion

“rooster status!” “HUGB” giggling I know he’s at like 9-10 Gs rn but it’s so funny

“we have to circle back!” THATS HIS UNCLE IM SOBBING.

”do not engage!” you think he’s gonna listen he learned shit from his uncle hes not going to listen

i know mav is getting shot at but he’s gotta be freezing cold with the snow covering him

THE ABSOLUTE LOOK OF DEVASTATION FROM HANGMAN WHEN ROOSTER DOSENT RESPOND THATS HIS BOYFRIEND.

mav pushing rooster to the ground will forever be my favorite thing

“you told me not to think!” “oh fuck I guess I did say that” “yeah. you did.”

“your not serious” bradley be so fr thats your uncle mav he’s ALWAYS serious ab stupid shit

“let’s start running.” “yeah run- run!” MY SHAYLAS!!!! guys I love uncle mav so much it’s my favorite thing besides goose

“why are the wings coming out mav.” my stupid baby I love him so much

“you’d go after them if I wasn’t here.” “but you are here.” MY SHAYLAS

“WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!” me when math class showed up with letters and numbers below zero

“cmon mav do some of that pilot shit!” I will never get over the parallels of goose and rooster they are my shaylas I love them both so much im gonna explode them

”im sorry goose” JUMPING!

“hey hangman you look good.” “I am good rooster, im very good” MEN WILL SAY ANYTHING. BUT I LOVE YOU.

“please don’t tell me we lost an engine..” “alright! I won’t tell you that”

“captain michell!” “sir!” just call him uncle mav we know you wanna

“thank you for saving my life.” “it’s what my dad would’ve done” IM GOING TO EXPLODE ON THE SPOT

ROOSTER AND MAV WORKING ON THE PLANE TOGETHER MY SHAYLAS MY FAVORITE UNCLE / NEPHEW DUO BUDGEHWHWHAGHRGRRRRJWWAHHHH

roo going to see mav’s little collection of photos and knocking next to his dad i’ll cry

okay banger movie. my sibling came out of their room at the very end and went “didnt you JUST watch that movie” and I did. I did less then a week ago

[mayapapaya33]

People who act like Only Murders in the Building isn't Queer anymore because either their old man yaoi ship didn't happen or because Mabel isn't currently dating a woman need to get over themselves immediately. Bi people are still Bi when they're in a "straight passing" relationship. And yes, Oliver and Charles would make an adorable couple, but Oliver and Loretta are the sweetest couple ever and you're depriving yourself of enjoying a wonderful storyline for no reason. (And if rep is what you're after, how about supporting the rep that is older women getting quality roles, let alone quality ROMANTIC roles, because Hollywood treats women over the age of 35 like garbage and this relationship is like seeing a unicorn in the wild lmfao).

Mabel and Alice dated. That's a thing that happened. Pretending it didn't or doesn't count so you can be performatively mad at the show for no reason is literally Bi phobia, stop it.

Mabel has a new love interest every season! How cool is that? That never happens for Women! Unless they're the joke "slut character" that the show doesn't really respect. But this show does respect Mabel and treats it as a normal, unremarkable, unremarked upon amount of dating for a young woman. Usually that's a "man thing" like James Bond and his Bond Girls who come and go through each storyline. How rad is it that we get these great storylines for female characters now?

Sazz Pataki (pretty sure she's a lesbian but definitely some flavor of queer) is Charles' oldest friend and stunt double and has dated TWO of his girlfriend's lmfao. Jan Bellows is queer, and Cookie is also queer! Howard (the cat guy) and his boyfriend Johnathan are right there and so are Detective Donna Williams and her wife Kiara and son Keith.

Not to mention the tragedy of whatever Uma and Bunny were to each other because it was definitely something. (Ok maybe that one is just my shipper goggles at work but tell me you don't see it I dare you).

Honorable mention to Charles' kinda daughter Lucy who might be thinking about various pronouns aka also casual Queer rep.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

I also want to talk about the weird edge to some of the commentary about Oliver and even Martin Short as a real person. If you think about it, some of it is both weirdly homophobic and also inadvertently trying to press toxic masculinity standards onto straight men. I'm referring to the "Wow I can't believe that Martin is straight! There's NO WAY that man is straight! There's no straight explanation for that!" kind of things. Or the "Oliver dating Loretta is so unrealistic, that is a gay man right there! The show is ruined!" people. I get the jokes about how flamboyant Oliver is and a lot of them are fun, but some of them really do end up sounding like the same tired tropes of "emotional flamboyant man likes theater = gay and woman likes sports and cars and flannel = lesbian, uugg uugg."

As for the comments about Martin, look, his chemistry with Steve is off the charts, I get it, but they've been best friends for a thousand years and frankly if your friendship doesn't look a little gay from the outside, is it even really a friendship? lol. Martin Short is a real human being who was with a woman he clearly adored for 36 years, his wife Nancy Dolman, until she died of cancer. He's a confident and charming performer who's comfortable with himself.

I enjoy viewing the character of Oliver through a queer lens, it wouldn't surprise me at all if he at least did some experimenting in the 70's. (He mentioned orgies at some point, are you telling me he was the ONLY guy at the orgies? Come on Oliver!) I'd enjoy it if they explored some element of queerness to the character on the show and I wouldn't be that surprised if they did eventually do that. But there's a difference between that and a forceful attitude of; THERE IS NO WAY A MAN WHO BEHAVES LIKE THAT IS STRAIGHT!!! END OF STORY!!!

First of all, it's just not true. Lots of straight men in the performing arts (or just life in general) are incredibly flamboyant and comfortable with both themselves and things traditionally seen as "queer" and aren't afraid to express themselves beyond the narrow box traditional masculine values would limit them too. Circling back to my earlier points of old man yaoi and biphobia, just because your specific ship didn't happen on the show, it doesn't automatically make the character NOT queer. Again, Bi/Pan people exist. Oliver being in a relationship with Loretta doesn't automatically make him straight, why do I have to explain this on the queer people website?

Also Oliver has two hands, and this is what fanfiction is for. The fact that there aren't a ton of Oliver/Loretta/Charles fics on AO3 is astonishing to me.

[elodieunderglass]

Mx elodie.... I drew your pet gay men... hope it's okay...

(It’s Killie the racing jockey OC and his boyfriend Derek! Oh my goodness gracious I can’t believe that you drew them! Oh wow!!! Thank you!)

Ok ok ok this is lighting up my brain and heart so much. I can barely look at it directly and have been grinning all day! Their expressions and features! The easiness of gesture!

Something that immediately punched me in the heart is how lovely it is to see representation of Derek being so very gorgeous?? And having his features being treated with such love and beauty and tenderness by you!!

It’s like…we all love our blorbos and old man yaoi, but ordinary features like pattern baldness are just so rarely represented in any of that; to see someone else treat a character with those features as being so very handsome and worthy of attention as I feel about him has gripped me so powerfully. Your vision!! Your affection! Your attention and love!

I am otherwise speechless and so so so touched and thankful thank you

[practicedvmm13fullofpotatoes]

All of sfth's improvized plays described by someone with bad/selective memory (but remembers 90% of the sentences they make up) pt. 8

36) Toby's Secret Pocket

The titular Toby kind of just. Accidentally kind of on purpose helped a mafia kill a comptroller. The NYPD investigates this in the worst (best) way possible

37) Ballet on the Battlefield

Two kids flee from the lives they were (kind of) forced into. We also have a time traveler courtesy of AJ not knowing how to words

38) The Phantom of Hornchurch

The original Christianity mixed with Buddhism because ????? also toxic old men yaoi courtesy of the fandom (because this ship is NOT healthy for either parties involved but I love it so so much)

39) The Grape Depression

Human Pinocchio dies, gets revived (but stronger) and I genuinely thought at the end something along the lines of "you can both be my papa" would happen. Pinocchio's sister does not care about him btw and I was so ready to throw hands for his sake

40) Strange Noises From The Hole in the Wall

"Birds", trains and the British Transport Police. See it, say it, sorted!

The mother and the bird creature though omg I love them

[beauty-and-passion]

also yes i think you should talk about dipcifica i love the old man yaoi as much as the next guy but i also will always crave this kind of "coming of age" love story

Glad to comply! Here are my points about why Dipcifica is canon and endgame and everything:

1) Dipper and Pacifica are a walking "enemies to friends to lovers" trope. It literally started with Dipper saying to her face he doesn't like her, what's more clichè than that? When he said it, all I could hear was "We will definitely become a thing in the future".

And guess what? After a while, Dipper changed his mind: now he doesn't think Pacifica is the worst anymore. The next step is admitting she's great, asking her out and becoming a couple.

2) "Northwest Mansion Mystery" is basically a huge Dipcifica manifesto, thanks to the introduction of more tropes like:

the characters are put into nice suits

Pacifica fixes Dipper's clothes like a good wife

these two share an adventure together - which is universally something that would strengthen the bond between two people

their daring escape ends with a hug, given out of a sincere emotional reaction

the hug is followed by some cute awkwardness (especially from Pacifica's side)

Dipper and Pacifica share a heartfelt moment in which she reveals her insecurities, something we can be 99% sure she doesn't usually do. Also because... with whom can she share them? Her parents? Her supposed friends?

Dipper changes his mind about Pacifica after understanding her a bit more (which is always the interlude for the development of romantic feelings)

Pacifica finds the strength to do the right thing, only after Dipper sacrifices himself

the episode ends with them having fun together, laughing and enjoying their time. Also, it's implied they probably spent some time after the party to clean up the mess they made - so who knows? Maybe they shared some more time together and talked a lot more.

I mean... I've seen love stories start with less than that.

3) Dipper and Pacifica have another adventure together in Lost Legends. The formula is similar to Northwest Mansion Mystery: Pacifica has an issue (caused by her shitty parents), Dipper doesn't understand what her problem is, they share a heartfelt moment in which she reveals her weakness, Dipper tells all the right things, they hug, Pacifica does the right thing.

This is another way to reconfirm what the episode in the series already told us: these two have chemistry. They are meant to be. They are a walking enemies to friends to lovers trope - with a side dish of "slow burn" too. And we all love slow-burn stories <3

But this adventure shows us something else: how things have changed since Northwest Mansion Mystery and especially how Dipper's attitude has evolved towards Pacifica. In the episode, he is still very wary of her and makes it clear multiple times that he dislikes her.

Now he says this:

This is basically the Dipcifica equivalent of "I once considered him the center of my life, the sun in my galaxy", only with less toxic old men yaoi and more wholesomeness

it shows how Dipper's attitude is more mature

it implies he can and will develop romantic feelings for her. I mean, look at it: "I've noticed another side of you", "I see the real one and you're more than a pretty face"... gosh, if Pacifica hadn't fallen in love before, she definitely did after that.

it also shows Dipper's growth regarding women: my boy went from making huge, complex plans to talk to them, to lying to get random girls, to saying the truth in such a smooth way. He's great with girls when he doesn't try, he makes me so proud <3

4) Now I know what you think: great points, Bea, but does this couple have Mabel's approval stamp? Billford got it with Mabel calling Bill a clingy ex and telling him to get a crush on someone else's Grunkle. Does Dipcifica have Mabel's approval?

The answer is yes:

Do I have to say anything else? I think Mabel already said anything. Dipper and Pacifica are. A. Thing.

And yes, I know what you might say: they are kids! Sure they are, but that doesn't mean there can't be anything in the future. There is time for them to grow and for these feelings to develop. What we saw in the series and in Lost Legends are the crumbs, the foundation of something bigger that can evolve in the future.

And this is a great foundation because it's plausible and stable. Dipper and Pacifica's interactions never sound forced or out of character: on the contrary, they are built in a way that conciliates both personalities and justifies their changes and evolution.

If we can easily imagine a future for them, it's because their change is organic, it works in the long run - Pacifica can easily become better and better, while she works out her issue and shows the beautiful person she is. And Dipper can easily become more and more aware of what a great girl she is and start to develop deeper feelings for her. It's not impossible to imagine. It works.

And yes, this proves again how well Hirsch developed Gravity Falls and its characters, if we can easily imagine a future for them just out of a few, well-built interactions.

[nekropsii]

ik you're not a dirkjaker, but you have the best takes so please listen.

i feel cheated with dirkjake. most of the fandom held them on the pedestal of "peak toxic yaoi" or whatever and then you see them and...

they're literally just fucking 16 years old.

that's it. that's fucking it. dirk isn't abusive and Jake isn't a demon sent straight from hell to neglect/mistreat him or whatever dirk/dirkjohn fans say. they're just fucking 16.

that is my message. love each other and read sovereignstuck

We don’t even see their relationship on screen. Like at all. We don’t even see them talk.

I will never get over the Cannibalism trend in DirkJake fanworks because it really feels like people don’t get the point of Cannibalism in fiction. Cannibalism highlights Consumption. The consumption is the point. I really don’t think Consumption is present in their relationship, at least not enough to warrant the prevalence of the Cannibalism art.

I could make a significantly stronger case for Cannibalism in a piece of art featuring Cronus and Mituna. One point being that Cronus is literally named Cronus.

The communication issues that Dirk and Jake have are extremely basic 16 year old problems. That’s their main problem. They don’t fucking talk to each other. They don’t fucking talk to each other so much that we literally don’t see a conversation between them during the course of their relationship that isn’t a breakup. Our confirmation that it is happening is them breaking up.

They’re not experiencing some unique, soul-wrenching toxicity. They’re not VrisRezi. They’re just isolated 16 year olds that suck.

I do not get it.

Maybe go watch some horror movies? Or, like, Beastars. A lot of DirkJake fans really come across to me like they just want to watch Beastars and don’t realize it yet. Re-Animator + Bride of Re-Animator, too.

They’re not “Peak Toxic Yaoi” - god, I fucking hate that word - but boy are they Peak Yaoi. From my experience, DirkJake is something you get super invested in out of starvation, but I’ve never been hungry enough for it… Because I watch horror movies all the fucking time. I don’t really need my diet supplemented with some shitty little 16 year old white boys who are failing at relationships. I can just turn on any horror movie and watch bloody, sweaty, injured men fuck each other to death with chainsaws and sob into each other’s arms about needing each other or something. I’m good.

Don’t get me wrong, their relationship kind of blows, but in the most mundane, unremarkable way possible. They really are just isolated 16 year olds. Their main problem is communication, full stop.

[loving-family-poll]

2nd Ultimate Incest Tournament- Round 1

Propaganda under the cut:

Shauna/Callie:

Shauna is an insane woman with a psychology stuck in her late teens due to the huge trauma central to the show and the loss of her homoerotic friendship Jackie. Callie is her daughter who reminds her a lot of said homoerotic friendship a lot.

The first scene we see of adult Shauna is her masturbating on her daughter's bed looking at a pic of her and her boyfriend which tied back to how Shauna stole Jackie's boyfriend because she couldn't have Jackie.

Callie starts the show as a normal snarky teenager who might look down on her mom a bit, until she catches her cheating on her dad (the boyfriend she stole). Also, Callie is wearing Jackie's old uniform at this point (thinking it was her mom's). They have a talk about the affair and Jackie and it's one of the first times we see how much she wants to learn about her mom and her crazier sides.

Shauna is completely incapable of acting like a normal mother and doesn't know how to give Callie proper displays of affection.

As season 2 rolls in Callie wants nothing more than help her mom escape prison after killing her new boyfriend and for her mom to show her dangerous side to her and to include her in everything even if it's illegal.

At this point, we're at a point where Callie is just as into the freaky headrush of survival-type situations and that probably will keep entangling her with her mom more and more.

Shauna also had an arc about remembering her first baby she lost and how that and so many other things get in the way of her to show proper love to Callie even if she wants to protect her more than anything.

Shauna inadvertently got her best friend, Jackie, killed and is haunted by her memory. She attempts to replicate that dynamic with her daughter Callie but also refuses to let herself love her because of the pain of losing Jackie

mom who masturbates in her daughters room looking at photos of her daughters boyfriend. daughter happens to be an exact replica attitude-wise of the mother's childhood best friend who she killed (accidentally) and ate (not so accidentally) and still has romantic hallucinations of. The daughter dresses up in the dead situationship's uniform and mom mentally can't tell them apart….the good stuff

Stanley/Stanford:

Look. they are brothers. they are mirrors of each other. they are the only people that understand each other. they are possibly the guys that understand each other the least. their relationship to each other is the most important one in either of their lives.

We already got near-canon Old Man Toxic Yaoi with BillFord. Now get ready for Old Man (potentially toxic) Yaoi 2 Electric Boogaloo! Now with more incest and love/hate relationships depending on where in the timeline they are. They even sail a boat together completely alone on the open sea! That's as gay as two old men can get (joking)!

All of their problems would be solved by incest tbh and i love them for that