#old man yells at old man games

[gaykarstaagforever]

No more mediocre Sad Dad games please.

These ultra-linear sad dad games are 100% them knowing that they don't have to do cool open worlds or crazy set-pieces if you're crying about a sad dad so much you're ignoring shit stealth mechanics and bad enemy AI.

Suddenly everyone who writes video games is Spielberg and saying something really important as a sad dad argues with someone while slowly walking happens.

I blame Naughty Dog for this, because it's all they've ever done, and it has never been good, but I am apparently the only person on earth who doesn't like it.

People bitch about how all the shooterbro games are now ultra-linear and hand-holdy and boring. But then a sad dad kills a rapist and 10/10, certified queer icon or something.

I admit I am an open world guy, I like when I can run around and find exploits and emergent gameplay. And linear narratives are fine, in theory. But you need to get to something like a From Software middle, where you are telling a story, but also I can go do stuff when I feel like it and figure it out. A linear sad dad game is just a movie you shoehorned into a game because A24 told you no, because they already did 6 weird sad dad movies this year. That no one paid to see.

Also the difference between sad dad protagonists and totally radical dudebro protagonists from the 1990s / 2000s is...it's the same guys, 20 years later. Sonic grew up and became Joel from Plant Zombie Game. Like, this is the same devs doing more stories about their mundane lives. And it's just as whatever as it's always been, unless you are them. Because why else would you care?

At least in Baldur's Gate any sad dad content is just one possible option. You can do lesbian stuff with a bear in a party hat, if you want. Kratos isn't doing that.

...NEW Kratos isn't doing that. Old Kratos would, and then tear its head off and use it to choke a minotaur so he could break off its horns and use them to stab Zeus in the dick.

I just want the option, is my point.

[spearxwind]

i think every game that makes flying the focus (and theres veeery few of those) should have a map with a lot of verticality to it. Yes we all wanna fly a dragon over a vast landscape but when youre high up everything is indistinguishable, the sky is empty, and that gets boring real quick. A flying game should have verticality in a way that lets you explore heights that are really high and places on the map that are overlaid with each other would feel more alive and give you so much more space to work with. In a way, itd be like the inverse of the subnautica map. The original map was amazing because it made the ocean feel so huge. "What do you mean theres five biomes underneath the earth?? what do you mean theres just vast caves under here?" and everything felt super interconnected too. There should be more things in the sky than just you too. Enemies, prey, companions.... etc.

my fave flying game is called 'aer memories of old' and it doesnt really have that verticality but its a good flying game imo because its got a map thats so rewarding to explore, there is a PURPOSE to flying around just beyond what the game wants you to do. The lore of the world is out there for you to find and piece together, and the map is filled with life and details. And recently theres been an uptick in developers trying to make flying dragon games but none feel like flying has any purpose at all other than be really showy and yeah it looks awesome but without a purpose for flying its gonna get boring for the player!!

"This is the dragon game you've always wanted" and its another purposeless multiplayer mmorpg with an insanely huge completely empty map and they focus so much on the five fucking billion dragon cosmetics (and god forbid theyre all free btw) instead of making a game that is fun to play and just put the responsibility of having fun on the shoulders of the player. "omg u can make any dragon in this game the models look so cool!!" ok but what about the game. can you tell me if you game is fun? is there anything to do? oh, just material gathering shit and crafting? and an mmo where you have to play with others for there to be any semblance of life in the world? ok

idk im just sick of seeing games advertised as a dragon survival game where the only survival aspect is like. 'find food' 'find water' 'find a mate to have an egg' repeat. repeat. repeat. surely theres other things?? what about migration? territorial disputes? becoming the apex predator? being a local tyrant or a benevolent protector? there is so much that could be done with dragons but all every dev wants to dip their ass in is multiplayer nonsesne with the most basic hunger and thirst and a basic as fuck combat mechanic and call it survival so that people can choose to kill each other. its so lazy

[silusvesuius]

nnnnnnnnnnnnno maa'am

[a-book-of-creatures]

Okay maybe I'm being nitpicky but

this is not remotely what a cicada looks like

or any insect for that matter

[starrynet]

the sharks/penguins game is going to give us so many chances to make “kids these days” jokes. teenager on the sharks scores? kids these days! shark takes a dumb penalty and has to sit in time-out? kid these days. the possibilities are endless

[ganondoodle]

i have grown kinda tired of all the studio ghibli and totk comparisons bc i love most of miyazakis movies and its so annoyingly obvious that if totk actually took inspiration from them its all just the surface level aesthetic and none of the good story telling

[bmpmp3]

give him to me NOW!!!!!!!!!!! or i'll settle for a release date pwetty pwease

[necrotic-nephilim]

For the ask game! 3 and 21 please ✨

for the choose violence ask game!

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

i won't screenshot bc i'm not thinking of one post specifically but a couple i've seen- the idea that Tim should be from Crime Alley, not Bristol. which firstly: i need people to understand Tim isn't Bristol rich. Tim is a millionaire and not nearly as high a tax bracket as Bruce is. his family goes *bankrupt* at one point and it's his stepmother supporting them with a job as a physical therapist. like he's not as rich as some ppl thing he is. but that said, he *is* still upper middle class and it's very important to who he is and how his history as Robin is shaped. it shapes how he interactions with other characters. you just... can't make him from Crime Alley? like why would you want to when we *have* a Crime Alley Robin. it changes so much about Tim that he's no longer then same character. and the idea he could just lie about being from an affluent family with a seven-figure company is? i do not get it. like the entire mess of "Tim pretends to be a Drake" is a headcanon that is so bad to me and just tries too hard to make Tim' backstory more interesting to make him the main character. the entire point of Tim Drake was for him to be a *normal kid* becoming Robin. and all that is ruined when you add all these weird things to him. i'm begging fanon to just enjoy Janet and Jack Drake. please <3

21. part of canon you think is overhyped

oooh, i already talked about Joker: Last Laugh and Deat In The Family. is it... bad if i say the entirety of Wayne Family Adventures?

i think i'll be nice and narrow it down actually: the Wayne Family Adventures episode where Jason has a panic attack because a noise reminds him of the crowbar and he runs and hides until Bruce finds him. that episode... oh it haunts me. i think it really fucked up how most of this fandom understands Jason's relationship to his trauma. and the fact that it's *so* popular makes it even worse bc it can often be the only "canon" content some fans have consumed about him. it makes Jason feel incompetent and it misunderstands what his trauma around his death actually is. it paints him as afraid of the Joker and not full of such a violent rage. i just. oh i can usually understand the merits to WFA even if it's not For Me, but that episode i just... don't get it. i don't get how someone can honestly enjoy Jason's character and still think that episode does him favors and is in character. i'm baffled and angry and rolling my eyes all at once.

[hawnks]

I wish fandom didn’t move so fast nowadays; I’m still in tears of the kingdom mode…..

[animentality]

wait are u really 94 years old.... cos if so i need to cherish the time you are alive ...

aw.

sweet enough for me to be honest and say no, I'm not 94...

I'm 73.

[attonposting]

Can we stop to talk about the conversation with Atton where he rambles about women and the idea of love? Because good lord can this man project like a movie theater. We're talking fractal projection. Give him a frickin' medal, because it's projection all the way down.

It's a very missable bit of dialogue. You can only get it with a male Exile, and only then if you've cheesed off Brianna by causing her influence to dip 30 points below Visas's. Unfortunately, this also causes Brianna to permanently stop talking to you, so this is something you're only ever gonna see by accident. I only learned that could even happen pretty recently, and that's with maybe 6 male Exile playthroughs under my belt. I guess I'm just very thorough about exhausting everyone's dialogue options all the time.

So. Brianna's permanently cut herself off as a companion, courtesy of Kreia whispering in her ear, and that sucks. But at least your trashman pilot has something to say about it... and whoa boy is it a consolation prize. Atton proceeds to launch into an arm-around-your-shoulders buddy talk that has exactly nothing to do with your problems and everything to do with his personal issues.

Exile: The Handmaiden lost her temper with me.

Atton: Oh, there's a surprise. Trust me, she's a handful - all warriors are. They're not used to dealing with things they can't punch, kick, or break. Look, I know how it is. Me, there's no denying that I'm a good-looking guy. You have it worse, because even though you might not be as good-looking as me, you have that whole tortured past, that command presence. Women want to save you. They think they can help you.

Exile: What are we talking about?

Atton: They think that everyone can be redeemed, and that they're the only ones who can do it. And you don't know if it's you, or the idea of you that they love.

Exile: [Awareness] Are we talking about me or you?

Atton: We're just talking. Like I said, I've never understood women. It's possible they don't love you at all. That they just want to help you... help you hear yourself if you've gone deaf to your own voice. We all lose our way sometimes, and we need someone to pull us back.

Exile: [Awareness] Sounds like you've had that experience before.

Atton: Don't remember. Truth is, I still don't listen to my conscience even when it's shouting. I think there's times I'd rather be completely deaf than hear it. But all this talk doesn't matter. I'm not qualified to give advice. Besides, when I open my mouth, I'm usually lying anyway.

Like. Just. Holy shit, Atton. Yeah, he's clearly talking about the Jedi who tried to save him, but there's so much more to unpack in here. Let's break it down.

“Women want to save you. They think they can help you.” - Atton wants to save you. He wants to be the hero to your story, something he projects at Mical (to the latter's confusion), but which can also be read into a lot of his actions – when he starts taunting the assassin on Telos to draw heat off you, when he runs out on Nar Shaddaa to give you medpacs and do the same thing with the bounty hunters. The hard evidence is on Malachor. If Atton dies, he says it outright: “Did I save you yet?” And if he falls to the Dark Side, he tells Mical that “he wanted to protect [the Exile], to help her” before he lost his chance.

“They think that everyone can be redeemed, and that they're the only ones who can do it.” - Yeah, it's not really about helping the Exile. Atton needs to be the one that 'saves' you, as a balm to his own lack of purpose and self-worth, and he gets real pissy if anyone else does a better job helping you – or god forbid gets close to you. He's constantly insecure, he's unhappy with most new party members when they join up and, and seriously, the only crime Mical ever committed was being a genuinely good dude in a crew full of misfits. Too bad the galaxy's greasiest pilot reads that as a threat.

“And you don't know if it's you, or the idea of you that they love.” - Atton's attraction to you in a nutshell, and that's before you get the question of Force Bonds involved. Like, seriously. Does he genuinely love you as a person, or is he in love with you as an ideal – as someone who could stop running and face the music for their unforgivable crimes, as someone who actually tries to fix the damage they did? As someone who can still find it in them to care about people after the war broke them down? As a Jedi that actually lives up to the ideal both the Council and Revan failed to? As someone he believes he can relate to, because he thinks he knows your reasons for what you did? Are you a stand-in for his dead Jedi and his hundred conflicting feelings over her? Is he just in love with the idea of having a purpose and wants someone he can bury himself in? Is the idea of martyring himself and finally dying for a reason what he's really obsessed with? Pick your flavor, because who knows! He certainly doesn't!

“It's possible they don't love you at all.” - While this has a lot to do with him wondering why the hell anyone would have tried to save him, I also think this is him reflecting on his own confused feelings towards the Exile. They might not be romantic with an M!Exile (or if they are, he's having intense bi denial), but they're absolutely there and he does not know what to make of them.

“That they just want to help you... help you hear yourself if you've gone deaf to your own voice. We all lose our way sometimes, and we need someone to pull us back.” - This has nothing to do with the Exile, the Handmaiden, or anyone who isn't an ex-Sith assassin who had empathy forcibly shoved into their brain after years of progressively more fucked-up descent into all-consuming hatred.

“Truth is, I still don't listen to my conscience even when it's shouting.” - He almost gets away with this one, but Atton's deep in denial here. He doesn't want to hear it, but he can't turn it off, the same way he can't stop feeling things when he used to have total control of his emotions (because he barely felt anything at all.) It's all why he can't go back to who he was, even though he badly misses the certainty he used to feel. Atton is a pro at ignoring his conscience, which definitely has nothing to do with how much he hates himself, total coincidence... but as soon as the Exile gets involved, that goes out the window, because Atton's self-preservation glitches out. Their Force wound tugs on his better nature... or it yanks at his opposite. And if that happens, Atton is very aware of what's happening to him. He succumbs, but he has more to say on the Exile's fall than anyone short of Kreia. And light or dark, his (im)moral compass gets jarred from 'cover my own ass' to 'protect the Exile' and he repeatedly sticks his neck out for no gain, so yeah, I call bullshit here. He's smack in the middle of his biggest crisis of conscience since the Sith.

“Besides, when I open my mouth, I'm usually lying anyway.” Well, at least he admits it.

[raylangivins]

people in the tags of that post saying jlo is giving matt her blessing you do NOT know her like i do. she would not fucking say that.

[whats-ur-credit-card-number]

really tiring when even supposedly progressive stories make only their most evil and pathetic characters fat. shouldn't we as a society be past this by now

[radi0activesmile]

How Attractive are you from 1-100?

Alastor, your attractiveness is 60

"And what do you know? You don't have eyes."

[merge-conflict]

#9 #10 #23 🔫

questions here, ty for the ask right out the gate with asking me about canon you know me so well :3

9. worst part of canon

listen I know it's because I'm in the field and so all the things that annoy me are just background noise to most other people but I really really hate the way hacking and networks and AIs and tech in general is handled in cyberpunk. I don't think it should be perfectly realistic or exactly what we have in real life. I do think it should have some internal consistency when it comes to power leveling and that it should make some sort of sense. cyberpunk worldbuilding is often its weakest feature and that it's a bummer.

and it's not just a matter of tech working basically like magic, but the fact that there seem to be no internal rules so you can never figure out what the consequences of anything might be. why do people not just shut off their bluetooth before getting in a fight with someone who has a netrunner? why does alt not simply archive the engrams instead of imply she's going to eat them in some weird digital cannibalistic fashion? (why not just delete them if she doesn't have the space) are we just adding arbitrary and tragic restrictions on at the ninth hour because it makes it dark and gritty? that's BORING. tell me from the start why I'm fucked because my android soul is incompatible with your apple hardware. maybe johnny's brain which has never dealt with kiroshi's might have vision issues. let's think about those restrictions and why all software sucks instead of doing weak philosophical gotchas at the worst moment because the game has made pains to never discuss anything fundamental about life after death until you have to suddenly make a decision.

you know what would be an interesting idea in this vein? that the AIs made before the fall of the net really did jumpstart all technology and since they've all been banished everything has stagnated because huge world-wide companies having their global communications axed is a huge blow to recover from- not to mention the literal brain drain. What if the reason everything's been getting shittier is because people have been slowly poking holes in software and infrastructure that's no longer maintained? That no one knows how to maintain? That society is doomed to slowly fail because of unsustainable processes and people are going to have to band together to- Oh, what's this? I'm hearing that the actual problem is all the AIs are mad and feral and will drive you mad if you commune with them and take over huge spider robots. Well. That works too.

10. worst part of fanon

I would like to get more fanon honestly. I so rarely see people's actual takes on characters or the game's story or the world. And that's not a dig at OC lore, which I do like. Sometimes my face-blind ass just gets tired of VP where someone is looking into my soul the camera.

Mild annoyance because I also write my own wish fulfillment fic so I'm not saying I'm any better half the time- if it was as easy to be a rebel as just quitting your corpo job with healthcare and a steady salary to become a merc or a hacker or something, then there wouldn't be much to be punk about. You know? The whole point is that life in cyberpunk is a grinding struggle, and you do have to make sacrifices if you want to fight against it. The "we're poor but happy" thing probably isn't going to work out that way.

Actually that's the start of another essay of how interesting Barghest's survival and its recruitment strategy is... and why there are so many powerful gangs in NC. Being independent ain't easy. But I guess that's really just an extension of the game's reality where V can turn into a hero-figure killing machine who no one can beat in terms of skill, isn't it? Probably why the tower ending is the way that it is!

23. ship you've unwillingly come around to

Not really? I can't really think of any instances where I've changed my mind about a ship. Characters yes, ships no. I guess maybe silverv, before I finished the game? Johnny hadn't earned enough Felix points for me to care about him. But I think I came pretty willingly when it was time.

[hesperidia]

😑