#old man brain rot

[lerulpes]

to the rescue (Emmrich x f!Rook)

A little something I had in mind because of the old man brain rot. Enjoy if you'd like to Warnings: mentions of blood

A wave of hand, a whispered spell, a spark of lightning, and the last enemy falls dead with a loud thud.

Victorious, Jezebel fixed her cuffs; she frowned when she noticed drops of blood all over them. Well, that'll teach her not to wear white fabrics on the mission.

Trying to compose herself after the fight, she took deep breathes a couple of times and looked around. No one was in sight; what a relief, she thought to herself. She wasn't ready to show it, but she was drained - both physically and mentally.

"We should move on," Neve's stern voice appeared out of the darkness. The detective checked if the assassins were dead indeed. "This alleyway doesn't seem like a good place to think about life, don't you agree?" She was right as always, but Jezebel couldn't force herself to move forward.

A gentle, yet firm grip landed on her shoulder. Emmrich's soft voice sounded distant. "Jezebel? Are you alright?" She turned her head to face him; hair slightly disheveled, a genuine concern on his face.

"Of course I am, I just need to..." Jezebel stopped when she noticed Emmrich's eyes widen. "What? It's like you've seen a ghost," she said with a smile. They both were Mourn Watchers, and seeing a ghost wasn't something extraordinary for them, but it still amused Jezebel to say so.

At this moment she felt a liquid on her lips. Jezebel brought her hand up to wipe whatever it is, but, seeing the liquid on her gloved fingers, she realised it was blood. Moreover, it was her blood.

The picture worked as a catalyst, as if this unawareness was keeping her from losing this last bit of power she had. Jezebel's knees betrayed her, and she felt like she would fall any minute now. "Shit..." she exhaled, bending forward.

Halfway down to the ground, Jezebel heard something else hit the pavement and felt hands around her body. When she managed to open her eyes, she saw Emmrich's concerned and focused face very close to hers. His hand touched her cheeks, her forehead, helped him expect her eyes; it would've been romantic if she wasn't on the verge of passing out.

"What's wrong?!" Neve picked up Emmrich's staff and stood next to them. Her voice, always reserved, now was filled with worry.

"She's exhausted. We can't move forward while she's in this state." Neve asked if he could do something. "I can, and I will if you'll give me some time." After these words Neve nodded and walked away to check if there were any pursuers, ensuring the safety.

The necromancer smiled softly. "Oh, mistress Jezebel, if you'll go on like this, I'll proscribe you stepping out of the Lighthouse." Jezebel managed to chuckle.

"Mistress Jezebel... sounds pretentious, don't you think?" She tried to rub her eyes with her hand, but Emmrich stopped her by catching her wrist. He planted a small kiss on her knuckles and let go of her hand.

"Please, lie still," his voice was still soft, yet commanding. "The spell will work better if you won't move." Jezebel felt healing energy flow through her body; the power she lost in the fight was slowly and steadily coming back.

"Alright, monsieur Volkarin," Jezebel closed her eyes and heard Emmrich chuckle. "I'll behave for now, if you'll promise me a kiss on the forehead for being a good patient."

When jokes like this were exchanged between them, Jezebel felt like she was walking on thin ice. Little did she know that Emmrich felt the same. At this point it was just a question of who was going to give up first and succumb.

Jezebel opened one eye. Emmrich was inspecting her face for signs of better state - indeed, her cheeks changed their color from deadly pale to her ordinary pale, and her lips regained some strength.

"The spell will work for about 15 minutes from now, but we've already achieved the main goal of saving you from dying or passing out big time. Congratulations, mistress. And, as promised..." He closed his eyes and planted a soft kiss on her forehead. Emmrich lingered for a moment too long. "A normal temperature. Spectacular. If you don't mind, I'll reward you for this with one more kiss." The necromancer pecked her cheek, provoking a chuckle from Jezebel - now it sounded like a chuckle of a healthy human, not a bark of a dying dog.

"Oh, Emmrich, you're the best healer in town," Jezebel grunted when the necromancer helped her to stand up. "Thank you. Please, tell me, my nose stopped bleeding, did it?" She recieved a positive answer. "Oh, thank you once again, Emmrich," she nodded her head to strengthen her words.

"Just doing my job, darling," the necromancer answered. The last word hopped off his tongue on it's own.

"Darling? I like the sound of that," she fixed Emmrich's hair, returning his touches. "I'll come up with something like this for you, professor, if you don't mind."

"I'll look forward to it, darling," Emmrich smiled. When she noticed the wrinkles in the corners of his eyes deepen, Jezebel couldn't help but smile in return. Something in the back of her head suggested she claimed his soft lips here and now, but Jezebel tried to perish the thought. Nevertheless, it was disrupted by Neve's return; she informed the group that the path was clear and they could go on if Jezebel was alright.

The next few minutes were walked in silence, but Jezebel muttered a silent "darling" to herself from time to time.

[murdrdocs]

I’m having such bad modern!coryo brainrot right now … he is the most pathetic endearingly downbad man ever to me

oh i get how ur feeling completely

first of all though, complete creds for my love for modern!coryo to hannah ( @shellxrls ) she was the first person i saw talking abt him and god her characterization for him makes me chew on my fist

secondly modern!coryo is so douche boyfriend vibes to me like the honeymoon phase w him was so good (and the dick is too) that you stay with him. and he’s definitely so funny and entertaining and smart that his dickhead-ness can be excused some of the time. buttttt he also is a munch who would deff give princess treatment (if that’s what it’s called) during said honeymoon phase like when you’re his, you’re his.

[wolvndmouth]

Okay but this Logan and this Wade

And also this Logan and this Wade

As well as this Logan and this Wade

And then this Logan and this Wade

And then this Logan and this Wade

[bonefall]

Anyway. Bi and Mspec Lesbians aren't a hotly "debated" topic or even new to queer culture, it's just the newest thing that bullies who REALLY want to be homophobic and even racist use to justify harassing gay people they don't like.

It's the thinnest possible veneer of progressive language wrapped around TERF and reactionary rhetoric so that they can feel righteous for forming an angry mob against vulnerable targets. If you're gullible enough to fall for the newest wave of bigotry within the queer community, and turn on your allies because they're "confusing" or "invading your spaces," the SAME way they turned on bi/pan labels, trans people, xenogenders, neopronouns, and aroace people before this, then get lost.

[mossy-paws]

Get in the fucking biograft, Shuriken. (EVANGELION/PHIGHTING!)

(og screenshot’s/cover under text!) Why hello there to my tumblr followers, it’s been a awhile /silly

ANYWAYS!!! Guess who recently finished the EVA franchise minus the rebuilds and has been in a horrible chokehold over it, this anime ruined my life but hey at least its intro theme is nice……

Well, I wanted to draw some stuff for it! All together these pieces took exactly 48 hours and 20 minutes… with the cover-piece taking ~35(?) of those hours. These were… very, VERY time costly safe to say LOL,,, I am super, SUPER proud of how the cover came out though, everything on it was drawn, colored, rendered, edited, whatever, BY HAND stroke by stroke (as you can see below)

The text, the lineart, the shadows, the colors, the snowflakes on the bio and Shuri, EVERYTHING was done by hand, it was horribly time costly but it did come out very, VERY well in the end I would say (fun fact! I also didn’t originally have the textless version of the cover, and I had to trace all of the lineart for bio’s tophalf by just guessing what line when where and what the hell was going on /silly)

this was a very, very hard project to do all together, but it was also a really nice learning experience too, I’m happy i did it that’s for sure :3!

(og screenies + cover)

[sicktwistedlimpwristed]

He's like the stage 4 terminal level of old man fuckers like this man looks like a bulldog and is the most bitter miserable old bastard and yet every time I hear him talk in that Irish accent I get it. God id do anything to be on that boat and have him bark orders at me

[merakiui]

Rollo who never saw the point in oral, he thinks, it was intended for the mans dick to go into a pussy, why would you ever misdirected gods course?

Until has you sucking his cock and all his viewpoints change. EVEN BETTER, HE EATS YOU OUT AND SUDDENLY HE CAN’T STOP??? You’re so overstimulated, even crying. Even as he devours you he doesn’t stop to speak, he talks through it, sending vibrations to your core. When he’s done…? Suddenly, he prays his thanks about finding something so pure in delicious in you.

You… you’ll let him have another taste of heaven again won’t you…?

- 📝🎨 anon (The Rollo brainrot is going EXTRA hard this week)

ROLLO NUMBER ONE PUSSY EATER AT NOBLE BELL??!?!?!?!?! 📝🎨 anon, I am planting a smooch on your brain because it is SO GALAXY. Omg Rollo having his entire world shattered when he realizes the appeal of oral.... 😵‍💫 it's already enticing enough having you on your knees, your soft mouth wrapped around the head of his cock. But then it's even better to bury his face between your legs and lap at your slick folds, to feel your fingers in his scalp as you hold on tight or try to push him away...... orz

He's strict and goes on about how it would be unbecoming to break his schedules just to give into temptation, but his restraint is only so thick. >_< it snaps easily, and so maybe there have been times where the student council meeting room has its windows left open to air out a certain,,,,,, stuffiness. :)

He's just so addicted to your taste and the way your body reacts. The way you cry and whine and beg him to give you a break. Eating you out when you're menstruating....... he's a Freak behind that handkerchief of his, but you're already well aware of that.

Omegaverse with him would be absolutely insane because in my mind nothing gets him harder than your smell,,,, do you see the vision!!!

[a-fangirltrash]

I'm both Fiddauthor and Billford. But BillFord in a "You are just like me in a sense, two fenomenons. You made me feel special, you gave me the universe. But you destroyed my sanity, my mind, my life" and also as "needy ex can't get over the dude that he thought was "not a big deal" but made he feel things he never felt" way. Like doomed TOXIC yaoi that would get along if they weren't so freaky but at the same time if they weren't that freaky they'd have never meet at all.

And i'm FiddAuthor as in a "Even when i was controlled, and i was slowly losing my mind. It was always you there with me. You kept me sane until you left me" way, because Fiddleford abandoned his family just to give Ford unconditional companioship and help him live his dream, i also believe that their relationship is a big "what if". Ford deserves a lil bit of love, and Fidd is the one that gave it in the purest way to him, and Fidd deserves to be with that roommate that he chased for years LMAO, they deserve to have eachother for the little time they have left. I feel like at the end of the day FiddAuthor is endgame.

TLDR; BILLFORD AS IN BILL CAN'T GET OVER THE FIRST MAN THAT MADE HE FEEL THINGS AND FIDDAUTHOR AS ENDGAME, LIKE WHEN A ROMANCE PROTAGONIST ENDS WITH THE GOOD GUY AFTER 3 SEASONS WITH THE UGLY ASS BAD BOY

[shootingmorningstar]

Was inspired by bambygourl’s fanart and a TikTok I saw. Dressing up as Roger and Jessica Rabbit for a costume party with Lucifer. I think he’d be all pouty and grumpy about dressing up as such a silly character and not a suave charming character. Especially since he’d take a look at the white button up, red trousers with suspenders, and blue bow tie with yellow polka-dots and see it as a fashion nightmare XD. And don’t get him started on the bunny ears and tail. Tho his mood is sufficiently uplifted when he sees the reader dressed up as Jessica Rabbit. Low cut red dress with a slit and all. Just imagine pulling on his suspenders or bow tie for a kiss, getting lipstick on his mouth and face, and cooing over how adorable and handsome her honey-bunny is.

I've been meaning to get to this request ever since I saw it because it is just so good. I'm definitely biased for anything Lucifer related but god this is just so cute. Anon, your brain is outstanding. I love pouty Lucifer. If you still have that tiktok on hand or ever come across it again, do you think you could send it my way .ᐣ

You didn't include what kind of request you wanted though, and my default is HCs -- but I couldn't help but throw in a little drabble based on them, too. Or, at least I intended it to be a drabble .ᐣ It got away from me, haha.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀Lucifer and Female Reader Dressing

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ Up As Roger and Jessica Rabbit ~

Lucifer is initially thrilled when you bring up wanting to attend a famous yearly costume party in Pride with him. A chance to show you off sounds amazing, and he's great with costumes. Just the thought of you two matching is enough to get him excited.

You seemed just as excited as he was -- in fact, he was even more excited when you told him you'd already had something in mind .ᐟ He's pestering you to tell him just what the costumes were as soon as the plan leaves your lips, but much to his displeasure, you refuse, saying you want to keep it a surprise.

You'd even managed to resist the very strongest puppy-dog eyes and pout. Impressive. He usually succeeds in getting his way with that one -- who could ever say no to that face .ᐣ Having exhausted his options, he sighs his defeat.

Well, nearly exhausted his options. He was entirely too ready to pretend that you'd won and snoop through your closet the second you walked away. Apparently his quick glance at said closet had given him away though, and with a quick deadpan stare alongside a scary sounding ❛ don't you dare. ❜ has his feet rooted to the floor.

Did his poker face really suck so bad .ᐣ He's definitely practicing it in the mirror later.

Ultimately, though, he trusts you completely and your choice in matching outfits is no exception, so he allows it to drop for now. There's still a few more days until the party, but that time could be spent much more productively by your side rather than whining about clothing.

That is, until the day of the party comes around and you bring out his outfit. You'd never seen Lucifer's jaw drop quite like that before and it takes iron will to stop yourself from giggling at his present state.

He doesn't understand the reference. Lucifer regrets his past decision to give humanity free will. It's obvious, even if he never seems to say it outright. He had given out such a precious gift and so much of humanity chose to abuse it, to be nothing but cruel. Looking at sinners and by extension humanity is just a terrible reminder of what he'd done, so he prefers to avoid it whenever possible. This quite often includes the media of the living realm -- he's never even heard about the movie, forget seeing it.

So without the full context, all he knows is that you've just handed him an absolutely atrocious outfit -- and to make it worse, you expect him to go out in it .ᐣ Seriously, he whinges, red overalls with a blue bow .ᐣ Rabbit ears .ᐣ And to make it worse, you won't even show him your outfit until he gets dressed .ᐟ He can't believe you're laughing.

He sounds completely and totally ridiculous, in your defense. Seriously, has he seen his regular outfit .ᐣ He looks absolutely stunning, sure -- but he also looks like he walked right out of a circus.

It says a lot, though, that despite the complete and total pity party he's currently throwing himself, he's beginning to shuffle into the costume anyway. He's grumbling the whole way, but the fact that he just doesn't have it in him to say no to you warms your heart.

You had been so, so eager about this party, and the way your eyes had shined like stars when you told him had long since burned itself into his heart.

wc ; 1.2k

His seemingly endless complaints had tapered off ever so slightly when you shimmied his grasp off of the ruby red suspenders sagging unbuttoned over his chest. By the time you take the fabric into your own hands his protests faded to little more than a mumble under his breath, and with the very first snap of a button in place under your gentle touch he'd quieted completely. Where a look of exasperation had reflected off his face seconds prior, in its place now is that of silent awe, his gaze trained on your every action. The gesture of intimacy is enough to leave Lucifer somewhat choked up, his heart still not used to receiving such acts of adoration and kindness. You tie the cornflower blue fabric adorned with tiny yellow spots into a bow to accentuate the costume and cover his hands briefly with your own as you slip the gloves onto his fingers.

Not twenty minutes had passed, and he finds his attitude regarding the ensemble shifting with every second you take to assist him into it. Each and every part of it looks ridiculous at best, but the thought of you picking it out solely for him has him warming up to the idea.

Declaring your work complete, you raise your grasp ever so slightly, palms holding each of his cheeks close, your thumbs rubbing soft little circles below his eyes. Your affections are sufficient only when finished with a kiss placed on his forehead. ❛ I'm going to go get dressed, okay .ᐣ No peeking. I promise I'll be right back. ❜

The way his wrists on instinct dart out to catch yours to bring you close to him again as you pull back nearly got you. He's extended his lips in a pout once more. You hate to leave him quite so sad looking but you know he'll appreciate what you have planned enough for it to be worth it.

Bathroom door shutting closed behind you, there's the smallest bit of lingering regret that he can't help you to get dressed like you had for him. The outfit itself takes you barely a few moments to slip into -- it's the makeup that requires precision, time and effort. His pacing around the bedroom is audible, impatient steps sounding into stomps, the sounds causing you to choke on a laugh. You need a steady hand for your eyeshadow and that's hard to maintain during an act quite as cute as this.

Nonetheless, your look is finished within half an hour and therefore Lucifer is put out of his misery. It's not a second after the door clicks open that his attention is caught, snapped to the light peaking out of the doorway. Stepping into the small hallway, your eyes are met with his own -- and the way his pupils widen as soon as he gets a glance of your dress makes both your efforts and his complaining worthwhile. His gaze takes you in from top to bottom, each detail enchanting him further. The dress so perfectly hugging your curves is crimson to match him and absolutely breathtaking -- and are you walking towards him .ᐣ Your strut does well to accentuate the slit stitched into the leg, your thigh tantalizing in its display.

Finally reclaiming your place beside him, one of your fingers reaches out, finding purchase under his chin -- and when you tilt his head up you swear you saw his eyes flash red. ❛ Hello, my darling husband, ❜ you coo, sending his already overloaded brain into a frenzy. Husband . . .ᐣ You wanted . . .ᐣ With him, really . . .ᐣ And although he's beginning to put the pieces together and clue in that such a term of endearment was part of your match, you seemed so happy to say it. He snaps his focus back onto just how stunning you look tonight, but the idea has firmly implanted itself into the depths of his mind.

Back into the present time, his hands have begun to roam -- he wants to commit every detail of you to memory, and that includes the feeling of your dresses fabric under his fingertips. His grasp is met with your own, for it's not long before you're pulling the straps of his suspenders, tugging him forward into a kiss. By the time he's recovered from his surprise enough to reciprocate, though, you're already beginning to pull away. He chases your lips with a whine but you've already moved on, pressing a kiss first to his cheek and then to his forehead. It's only when you offer him a small compact mirror does he understand -- each of your kisses has left behind a little bit of the lipstick you oh so painstakingly applied. Your marks on his face have left him entranced, desperately craving more.

A gasp rips itself from those same cherry red lips in surprise -- you weren't expecting him to summon forth his tail, much less wrap it around your midsection and use it to bring you closer. ❛ Kiss me again, ❜ He pleads, desperate and breathy. ❛ Anything for my honey bunny, ❜ you chime, matching the mark on his left cheek with one on the right. ❛ You just look so cute, ❜ between each kiss is another offering of praise and compliments, the blush left in your wake matching excellently. ❛ Who's my handsome bunny .ᐣ ❜

Your multitude of kisses has left Lucifer stunned and looking nothing short of angelic -- even more so than usual. You're fully intending on giving him several more, leaning in to do just that when the wall mounted clock besides you chimes a new hours arrival, alerting you to the time. ❛ Oh, dear. I'm very sorry, Mr. Rabbit, but I'm afraid we simply must be going. We don't want to be late, do we .ᐣ ❜

Fixing your lipstick takes all of a few seconds, leaving you free to grab a makeup wipe off the pouch resting atop your vanity and wipe all of the stains you'd adorned his face with away. A snap of his wrist catches yours just inches from his face, however, halting your plans in their tracks. Confused, you look to him for an explanation, a soft ❛ leave them. please .ᐣ ❜ being all he offers you. ❛ You're going to go to the party like this, love .ᐣ ❜ to which he nods sagely. He can't bear to part with them -- not when the lipstick marks are yours, not when they declare proudly that he is yours.

❛ If you say so, honey. ❜ You can't deny that the prospect leaves your heart fluttering. A grand, golden portal appears with a simple snap of his fingers and he takes your arm, now linked with his own in an attempt to usher you forward. He can't wait to show you off, to watch as other demons eyes glow green as they stare his way. You stay still, though, prompting him to look back at you with an air of confusion. It's then that you lean close, whispering ❛ be a good bunny and there will be more where that came from. too bad we'll have to wait until we come home, hmm .ᐣ ❜

Suddenly Lucifer can't wait for this party to be over.

I still can't believe I'd originally intended this to be 100 words and it ended up over a thousand. I can't help it, I'm so weak for anything Lucifer related. I'm half tempted to write an absolutely filthy post party part 2. If there's enough demand for it .ᐣ I just might.

As always, let me know what you think .ᐣ Hearing back from you guys keeps me motivated ~

[judith-lore90]

*insert romantic and possessive lines*

I needed to doodle this man 😫, after year now of the show finishing I’m still head over heels for this man.

I drew him more canonically then in my style and that was a nice challenge.

[teehee-vibes]

Hey gang… Riptide band au

(Thank you @freakinflipflop for letting me yell at you and for helping me choose instruments ily /p)

[shapelytimber]

Today is The man from U.N.C.L.E's 60th anniversary !

I discovered this show a little over a year ago now, and it wormed it's way into my heart ever since jfkdk it's not a perfect show, far from it, but it brings me joy :) I love the gay silly spies

For this occasion, let me indulge in a compilation of my fanart contribution (and some gifs I love)

original posts for the art :

social media au

restaurant in Nice

Illya's disguises

Evil double

shitty little sketches

for the gifs :

I prefer blonds

whistle if you want me

[thriftedtchotchkes]

if they don't make these mods official right NOW 😤

[fatedroses]

Chance encounters in Costa del Sol.

[b-e-e-h-o-p]

I’m a solasmancer and all that, but I personally think it would be hilarious that in world states where you don’t romance solas they confirm that Varric and Solas are canonically a couple.

[cheebse]

Dungeon related media got me spiraling again <3

I feel this old fart on a nye spritual level