#okay this is kind of obvious because the show is about living objects but

[youcantmisstheabyss]

with the surge of objectum stuff i've been seeing online i would like to present my take that the hit series don't hug me i'm scared is objectively objectum.

duck and his personal home shredder? objectum.

duck and the rock he picked up in s2e5? objectum.

duck again and that bowling ball in the pilot? it literally had a face that's objectum.

red guy and the fax machine? reverse objectum.

red guy and the microphone he drops in s1e6? also reverse objectum. somebody save this man.

yellow guy and that godforsaken spanner girl? objectum. (if you assume he's at least partially human)

lesley and her little voodoo dolls? tertiary objectum.

colin the sentient loving computer? they knew their audience.

and you can't convince me roy didn't build that massive mindfuck machine for one episode. let's not forget 'my dad is a computer'

[sexhaver]

okay so you know how living with autism means having frequent mind-blowing realizations about seemingly contradictory social norms that allistic people learned as children and consider obvious, like "you're probably not actually expected to show up exactly at the listed start time of a large house party" or "you're pretty much expected to lie in job interviews and also the questions the interviewers asks are looking for specific amswers"? ive got this half-baked theory based on observations on this site that there are two main ways for autistic people to resolve this

the first, most common way is to get mad about it, because none of it makes sense and nobody is saying what they actually mean. "if you invite me to show up at 5 im showing up at 5" mentality. i do sympathize with this school of thought, because it's objectively correct and i would love to see what society would look like if everyone said exactly what they meant, but the attitude wears on you after a few years and eventually becomes grating

the second way that i seem to have settled into is feeling relief, because, like, you already navigate through social scenarios the same way the guy in the Chinese Room thought experiment "speaks" Chinese: blindly consulting reference material you don't understand but know is correct. learning a new social faux pas is therefore just more reference material to consult. the fact that it doesn't make any sense is irrelevant because none of the other social norms you've been following make any sense either, and they've served you just fine. and crucially, because you have no personal attachment to any of these social norms, you can just abandon them whenever they become too inconvenient OR if it would be funny. this is the kind of autism that produces stuff like Nathan For You

[cybertron-after-dark]

I was gonna ask a question but i honestly forgot it 😅 so just tell me something you want to rant about

If you do happen to remember what you were gonna ask feel free to do so, do not worry about spamming my inbox bc I live for that shit.

As for the rant

Transformers Rescue Bots had some of the best, kindest, and most respectful representation of neurodivergence I have ever seen in media and I'm tired of pretending it didn't.

While there are obvious complaints to be made about neurodivergent traits (especially autistic traits) usually being portrayed in media by inhuman characters like aliens or robots, this being a case of both, I feel like thats a pretty negligible sin given just how human the show makes the robots feel. (Also it was like 2011 and we were STRUGGLING for any scraps of rep anyway)

But like. The behaviors all these robots exhibit are all shit that I do that was always deemed unacceptable when I was a kid and seeing it portrayed with the level of kindness and gentleness they do in that show has me fuckin crying a little man. I wish I had actually watched it when I was younger and it was first airing because maybe if I did I would've had an easier time explaining what the hell was going on with my brain a LOT sooner.

Blades being anxious, overly sensitive, and WHOLEHEARTEDLY queer (which they had the absolute unparalleled balls to just casually confirm by having him swoon over "hunky vampires" in one episode and NOBODY commented on it. Fucking iconic) and getting so so deeply invested in the shows and movies he loves that he acts out the roles with enough passion to steel his nerves and completely flourish.

Boulder getting really confused at concepts that are basic and intuitive for most people, but still being so fucking intelligent, and never being made to feel stupid for the mix-ups, as well as just being so wholely, unabashedly in love with the planet he's found himself on, even if he doesn't understand all of it (Also apologizing to inanimate objects when he knocks them over 😭)

Chase being obsessed with rules and law because he NEEDS the structure to not fall apart at the seams, even feeling the need to fabricate a minor crime to justify using the emergency line to get a hold of the firehouse when he can't find the other bots. As well as just fully not understanding comedy (BUT TRYING HIS DAMNEDEST), taking things super literally, and having a lot of trouble with tone and expressions (even though you know just how deeply he feels All The Time).

Heatwave being desperate for attention and recognition, but completely allergic to asking for it. And honestly allergic to showing any genuine emotional responses other than aggression. The constant sarcasm and sass and defensiveness that he POORLY maintains because everyone knows that underneath that tough guy front is the loneliest robot on earth that wants to be loved SO bad but would rather jump into unicron's mouth than voice it because if he lets his guard down who knows what will happen to him or the people he cares about.

Just. All of it man. Seeing them exhibiting all these behaviors and quirks that all too often get met with poor reactions from people who don't want to deal with what they don't really get, but here they're met with patience and understanding?? It's got me fucked up. They get to be functional adults that struggle with what they have going on but still push through. They get to have unconditionally loving relationships with people that treat them with respect. And that's the kind of shit that gives me a lot of hope for folks like me because maybe some neurotypical kids that watched it picked up on what's helpful when their friend who acts like one of the bots is going through it. And maybe some neurodivergent kids watched it too and for the first time they just felt SEEN.

Okay rant over, I'm gonna go cry over some plastic robots 👍

[fandomtrash-whataboutit]

My TimKon ‘Would You Fall in Love with Me Again’ Animatic

(If i could make animatics :/)

Notes: The roles of Ody and Pen aren’t perfectly assigned bc Tim’s the one who changed but Kon’s the one who was gone, don’t worry, it’ll make sense.

Kon has returned to his normal time/place/life and has been thoroughly checked for being the real, original, correct universe Kon-El. Now, at last, Tim is able to go see him, and reunite with his lost love.

Is it you? Have my prayers been answered? Is it really you standing there or am I dreaming once more?

Tim says all of this with bated breath, not delivering the wild, enthusiastic welcome Kon had been expecting. Kon can tell something is wrong, as can everyone else in the room (I imagine perhaps Superman and dick and/or bruce)

You look different. Your eyes look tired. Your frame is lighter, your smile torn. Is it really you my love?

Kon can see that Tim looks like hell and he is slowly trying to piece together what has happened (I imagine that last part is met with some surprise, as few is any people outside of yj knew of Tim and Kon’s relationship or at least how serious it was)

I am not the man you fell in love with. I am not the man you once adored. I am not your kind and gentle husband. And I am not the love you knew before Would you fall in love with me again? If you knew all I’ve done. The things I can not change, would you love me all the same?

This section focuses on Tim alone, face shrouded in shadow or just tight and anxious. Perhaps one of those cool animations of the camera moving around the central figure (note that words like husband do not have to be taken literally here, because animatic. There will be a whole section like this later)

I know that you’ve been waiting, waiting for love. …What kind of things did you do?

Kon is starting to process that something went very wrong while he was gone. He is getting scared, steps closer, and makes himself ask because he needs to know Tim is okay.

Left a trail of red on every island, as I traded friends like objects I could use. Hurt more lives than I can count on my hands, but all of that was to bring me back to you.

This part might be one of those sections that writes the lyrics on screen to alter them. The first sentence shows Tim’s time with the LoA (note that I don’t subscribe to the belief that Tim like murdered a bunch of people, even if it’s cool to think about sometimes) and say ‘traded PEOPLE like objects…’ because to be fair it was mostly the LoA and stuff that he was using, he didn’t trade friends’ literal lives the way Ody did. The second part would be a big motif of the most obvious thing, the cloning. A literal shot of just Tim, looking miserable, and in the background all around him half-transparent parts of his lab and experiments. (Still Tim below)

So tell me, would you fall in love with me again? If you knew all I’ve done. The things I can’t undo, I am not the man you knew. I know that you’ve been waiting, waiting…

This part mirrors the first chorus with my fun camera spinning thing but this time focusing on both Tim and Kon standing close to one another, both looking utterly grief stricken.

If that’s true, could you do me a favor? Just a moment of labor that would bring me some peace? See that wedding bed? Could you carry it over? Lift it high on your shoulders and take it far away from here?

This is obviously the least literal part. I imagine the camera goes to Kon for a second to indicate who is ‘speaking’ then shifts to the YJ cave. I haven’t worked out all the kinks for this but I imagine something like maybe a bed because Kon considers it the first real home he had where he was welcomed and wanted by loved ones before Superman and the Kents go involved/got their shit together, something with their initials or the Superboy and Robin symbols carved into it.

How could you say this? I had built that wedding bed with my blood and sweat. Carved it into the olive tree where we first met. A symbol of our love everlasting, do you realize what you have asked me? The only way to move it is to cut it from its roots!

This part is a lot, obv. The first sentence, a short of present Tim, horrified. Second sentence shows a quick shot of a younger Tim and Kon, Kon’s eyes lighting up with laser vision for a second only for Tim to stop him and carve it into the whatever (bed, smth) himself. The third sentence not a shot of that specific place but the round table in the cave with Tornado and the whole YJ team. ‘A symbol of your love everlasting’ shows a young Tim and Kon looking smitten, ‘do you realize what your have asked me’ hard cuts back to present Tim, finally showing some energy as he gets terribly angry. (Note: maybe a quick shot of spectators before the last sentence but maybe not). Last sentence shows that shot of young Tim and Kon looking smitten getting torn in half, revealing the shot of the whole team which also gets torn in half.

Only my husband knew that, so I guess that makes him you!

Kon needs to match Tim’s energy here as he finally sees his Rob light up the way he used to be, fiery and free.

Penelope…

Tim frozen in shock, staring at Kon

I will fall in love with you over and over again, I don’t care how, where, or when. No matter how long it’s been, you’re mine! Don’t tell me you’re not the same person, you’re always my husband and I’ve been waiting…

Kon grabs Tim’s shoulders (you know the cliche pose) getting close to him and speaking vehemently. Maybe some shots of them over the years, canon or headcanon moments of when they fell in love. Emphasize Kon’s vehemence on the ‘you’re mine’ cus im a slut for that, and maybe Kon shakes his head on ‘don’t tell me you’re not the same person’

Waiting… Penelope…

Not writing out this whole section cus I’m not copy pasting the lyrics here I’m recording them as I listen. This is a collage of them, colors and moments all around them or snapshots of their past, maybe chronologically and having at least one shot of each of them while Kon was ‘dead’

For you…

As he says this, Kon finally grabs Tim and kisses him. He sweeps him up in a massive hug off the ground as the music peaks, they hold each other desperately close (i mean draw creases on the back of their clothing type shit). I’m also debating, because I dont have much knowledge of canon alternate universities in the comics, if there would be content enough to show alternate versions of them holding each other because they fall in love in every lifetime. As the music calms, Kon gently returns them back to the ground, pulling far enough away to press their forehead together

How long has it been?

Kon asks this, still not entirely sure how long he was gone

Twenty Years

Obv its different, it dont remember the canon time Kon was gone/dead, but ideally it would be shown in month, week, day, hour format bc Tim is normal (for bonus angst do the amount of irl time he was dead cus that was prolly way longer

I love you

Need I even say anything? Holding each other close, they’re both finally smiling

[betterbemeta]

I understand that everything about scale in The Transformers (any series, comic, movie, etc.) is bad.

I do. I really understand. I accept it. I have no choice to.

But it drives me insane.

A consistent sense of scale is what helps us understand objects in space. Including objects that are characters. We can understand how heavy they are, how tall they are, what spaces they can move through and which ones they can't, what their perspective is, and what a typical human perspective is of them.

This is actually the thing that makes the live action Transformers movies 'work'-- they aren't always consistent but because human characters and environments keep the same scale and establishing shots of most of the characters include that scale, all of the explosions and fights and "wow!" is relative to actual live-action human beings.

But when that isn't the case, the scale in transformers is often relative. Robots that are 'large' (Bulkhead, Lugnut & many other Decepticons, etc.) are scaled bigger than robots that are 'small' (cassettes/minicons, robots that are motorcycles, Bumblebee, etc.) and some robots that are 'important' are given a relative size that has to do with conflict that they face. The most obvious examples of that last one are Optimus Prime and Megatron, who are both often Large but may have different relative sizes as the key trait here is actually 'important'-- Optimus Prime is usually Large in relation to his team but never Large enough to win against Megatron without a Struggle to His Limits (or more heroic means like the power of teamwork etc.)

Relative scaling also applies to human characters who tend to be 'as small as giant robots make you feel.' Especially if they're a child. Which is... okay, but the whole point of Robots Being in Disguise is that they sampled a human environment with scale and are taking it with them. We SHOULD be able to assume their altmode, if it's an effective disguise, can also be a way to measure scale. But this isn't the case; TFA has a lot of weirdly sized buildings and almost all of TFP takes place in barren environments, or in Ships and Bases where the scale changes around surreptitiously.

Space robots don't have to be exactly the weight of whatever earth thing they transform into and sometimes that's totally impossible but who-is-more-massive is kind of important when your show has so many physical smackdowns. Relative mass can take us pretty far, but it can't take us all the way. Sir Isaac Newton IS the deadliest son of a bitch in space! Much more exciting confrontations can happen when we have a better understanding of what physics are possible even if we don't adhere to realism perfectly. Sort of like how drawing from life can make fantasy illustration more effective and imaginative.

And even outside of confrontation, if any characters want to interact with each other or their environment, we as an audience get SO much information based on their scale and sense of mass. Optimus Prime Has You In His Hand is more powerful if your mutual points of view are consistent. We can tell which robots can easily shake hands or hug, who can use a shipping container as a convenient thing to lean on vs a dumpster, how 'far away' stuff is for different characters, how much energy they have to use to cross a distance, and more.

Even Weird Stuff is better if we care a little bit more. In TFA, Blitzwing drops directly out of the sky if he transforms from a plane into a tank midair. We assume this is just because tanks can't fly, which IS funny. But what size of tank does he become? Is it a realistic size for a main battle tank in the modern day? Does he put on 52 tons when he changes from something the size of a F-15 Eagle to something more like an Abrams tank?? Instead of that being some kind of oversight or mass displacement thing what if we leaned into it and used this thinking to make even funnier jokes?

Many MANY mecha shows are very detailed about the specifications of their robots, which lines up with how people who are in to real life vehicles (and military technology...) obsess about the numbers. We don't need to go that far, but Vehicles and Technology are one of THE autistic things to care about and yes, I know, most of this material is 'for kids.' But who do you think is memorizing all of the Facts about Trains or Planes or Trucks out there? Why do kids care about vehicle robots, is it really just haha hot wheels vroom vroom or are some of them actually interested in what there is to like about real, non-imaginary giant metal constructs?

It drives me bonkers that the 'toy' aspect of Transformers where 'who cares, its toys' overtakes a lot of the things that help imagination play with toys in the media that's kind of the starter-imagination-play-scenario WITH the toys. Just a littttle bit more effort into consistency and leaning into showing it off would absolutely blow people's minds with what's now possible for action figures beyond vaguely bonking against each other.

[legobiwan]

Okay, ever since the concept art of the Mario Brothers movie got leaked on Reddit, I've been wanting to make this post. And I think now is the time. Gird your loins friends. I am about to overanalyze the hell out of thirty seconds and one concept art of a movie.

A Room of Their Own: An (Over)Analysis

To start with, I want to justify this whole treatise by comparing the concept art of Mario and Luigi's room with what we get in the movie.

Concept Art

Movie

These match up incredibly well. There are a few poster swaps on Mario's wall, the generic baseball team versus an obvious reference to the Mets (a point I'll talk about in a moment); Beastie Boys for the fish person poster (and it's bugging the hell out of me, because the green guy is wildly jogging my memory and I can't quite place it). Luigi's side of the room also gets slightly rearranged, although the objects are mostly the same, minus the swap of the anime mecha figure for an art mannequin.

Now that we've established continuity, let's talk about why we're exploring this in the first place.

I love analyzing people's living spaces in media. They tell such an intimate story about who a person is, what they value, what they're hiding, and so on. And the snippets we get of Mario and Luigi's room, both through the movie and the concept art, say so much about them and (arguably) connect in some measure back to the games and even the cartoons of my youth. So, let's dive in, shall we?

Mario

In both the concept art and the movie, a couple of themes emerge from Mario's side of the room.

Plumbing

It's obvious that Mario's passion is plumbing. There are pipes sticking out from under his bed, pipes stacked in the corner, books on plumbing stacked on his desk, along with all kinds of other related paraphernalia. Regardless of Spike or his father, Mario seems genuinely into plumbing as his vocation (remember, he was the one who was the driving force behind that commercial). Keep this in mind for when we talk about Luigi, because there's a divergence there.

Sports

We know from the movie and general lore that Mario is quite athletic, and seems to enjoys sports. Here, we see posters for baseball and what is presumably the New York City marathon (at least in the movie still); we see a football helmet and some small trophies that one might assume are related to his own sports activities. Is he the absolute, number one winner in all of Brooklyn? Unlikely, given his insecurities about always being "small," about wanting to amount to something. This being said, it's obvious he has some prowess and accomplishment in the world of sporting, perhaps on a high school level. And the whole parkour scene shows that he trains, keeps himself in shape for this type of thing. (As an aside, can you blame Luigi for not being able to keep up? Forget the knees, he's hauling a 15-20 pound bag of plumbing equipment with him! Give the guy a break).

Anyway, this is all unsurprising for our hero archetype. The marathon poster - grit and determination. Baseball and football - all-American sports. Central casting, call one wannabe hero. (Remember, what people showcase in their rooms is generally what is important to them, what they value).

There is a small wrench thrown in here, however (ha! a pun!) And that would be the foam finger featured in the concept art which is a very familiar orange and blue. And that along with the baseball figurine and posters - which have similar coloring and iconography of the intersecting "NY" - lead me to believe that Mario is a Mets fan.

Now, I need make a small digression here to explain why this is important to his character.

The Mets are the long-suffering little brother to the perennially-successful New York Yankees (booooooo). They still hold the modern era record for most losses in a season (their inaugural year, 1962, where they went 40-120). Over the decades, they have been plagued by inept ownership, catastrophic end-of-season collapses, and bizarre events that can only be categorized as "LOLMets." (This Reddit thread is a particularly entertaining history of the franchise's tragi-comic moments).

And aside from being a lifelong masochist fan of this team, I think it's important to bring this up in terms of Mario's character because he sees himself as the underdog while in Brooklyn; as little, as constantly underachieving. It's extremely fitting for Mario's movie depiction that he roots for the eternal underperformer, for a team that has historically been supported by the more blue-collar areas of New York, a fanbase which suffers year after year and yet always comes back for more.

Mess

This is actually my favorite part of Mario's section. Canonically, Mario is a kind of a slob. In both the concept art and movie stills, we see plumbing bits and parts strewn all over the place, pipes shoved underneath the bed, pipes stacked in the corner, half-finished projects and tools running amok his desk. (Note, he's not dirty, just disorganized).

And the thing, this isn't the first time we've seen evidence of this. Luigi, on two separate occasions, either complains about or encounters his brother's habits in the Luigi's Mansion series. (Although the first quote below could be more of a commentary on Luigi's persnickety-ness rather than Mario's laundry habits).

(seriously, Mario. Just how many pizzas did you need?)

There's something...I don't know, endearing or somehow fitting that the titular hero of the Mushroom Kingdom is a domestic disaster. Almost as if whatever energies he can muster are focused solely on hero-ing and plumbing and anything else just...falls by the wayside. (Understandable. There's only so much all of us in our lives have energy for. You have to prioritize). Still, it sets up this contrast between the front Mario puts up and how he's received by the Mushroom Kingdom and who he really is, which he definitely reserves for a select few closest to him, the prime candidate being his brother.

And speaking of that brother...

Luigi

It's unfortunate that we don't get as many quality shots of Luigi's side of the room in the movie, but from what can see, the concept art is pretty consistent with the film.

And I'm being adamant about the consistency of the concept art and the movie, due to the fact we get so little Luigi screen time and yet his room tells us so much about him.

Science

We've got a tech-mech boy here, my friends. Note the somewhat advanced microscope perched on the headboard, the calendar of the motorcycle, the schematic of the racing car, the little jet-rocket ship. Note, in the concept art, the mecha sat prominently on top shelf.

Now, what does this tell us? (Aside from the fact Luigi is a total nerd, which we knew already).

Firstly, Luigi is very into motor vehicles, science (fiction), and possibly robots. That he possibly has some interest in engineering and robotics. This may sound familiar.

Yes, the Super Mario Brothers movie, by intent or not, kept Luigi's mechanical engineering interests intact. (There's a whole other post in here where I could provide further proof of this outside of SPM. I suggest watching the SMB 3 cartoon episode, "Mind Your Mummy" which not only wildly showcases Luigi's engineering skills, but is pretty hilarious).

But I digress.

Here's the interesting contrast. Mario is obvious about his passion for plumbing. Luigi, although canonically more reserved, does take the effort to highlight what is important to him in his room - namely his interest in science and engineering (and photography, which we'll talk about in a minute).

It makes you wonder...Luigi is not a confrontational sort. He goes along with what Mario does because he loves his brother and perhaps he either doesn't know what he wants or is afraid to express it. I personally doubt Luigi's true passion lies in plumbing, from what we see here. It's a means to end.

Now, whether Luigi disavowed engineering due to finances, low self-esteem, family pressures, or if he just wasn't ready to declare who he was...we don't know (I would posit it's some tasty combination of all of the above). But I do feel like it's fair to say Luigi is along for the ride at this point. He loves his brother, is possibly a little too dependent on him. It's not like he's bitter about it (well, on the surface. The Mr. L persona raises some interesting questions) - he's just doing what Mario does because...that's what he's always done. Luigi hasn't found his true footing yet. (You can even look at the fact he carries the toolbag throughout the movie as a kind of metaphorical weight of Mario's interests and goals over his - which, I realize, for a Mario property, is a reeeeeaaaaal stretch. But since I'm overanalyzing three stills from an animated movie about video game plumbers, I might as well go for the gold).

The other aspect of Luigi's interest in fast cars, fast bikes, and fast rockets is how that contrasts with his reserved nature. Luigi is, supposedly, the scaredy cat, the one who won't take risks. And yet what we see fascinating him the most are chunks of metal being hurled through time and space at ridiculous speeds. Wish fulfillment? Or maybe another side of Luigi that even Mario doesn't always get to see.

We also see two ribbons pinned to the wall near the sciency/tech items. Most likely, this had to do with academic achievement I would bet good coins that these achievements were in STEM. Again, Luigi is showcasing this, meaning it's important to him.

In this context, him gravitating towards E. Gadd and his experiments is wholly in-character, despite Luigi's (understandable) anxiety about dealing with undead (but does he say no? Much like his rocket cars, there's a kind hidden recklessness to his character). Mr. L and his robot obsession (and skill) make perfect sense. Luigi's probably been looking for that kind of outlet for quite some time. I can pretty firmly state that the engineering aspect of Mr. L was not brainwashing and it makes you wonder if the other facets of Luigi's personality that rise to surface during that whole episode were planted or there already, just suppressed.

Cleanliness is Next to Godliness

Luigi is just a bit of a neat freak. We see this in the hat-cleaning episode referenced above, in the way his side of the room is somewhat meticulous in its organization (in contrast to his brother). He also has a few hilarious quotes in the original Luigi's Mansion that are worth including here that really highlight this side of his personality:

Now that I look at it-- it's full of moth holes! Yecch!" "So much dust! This will never pass the white-glove test!" "Well, they sure did pile odds and ends everywhere… Filthy." "I should probably give that a quick vacuuming…" "Oh, what's this?! Just how I like it… Nice and clean!" "Do Boos wash their faces?"

And what I find interesting about this tendency toward order is how it relates to Luigi's anxiety. I would argue that part of his clean streak is an attempt at controlling his environment, a way to counter that ever-present anxiety. It also seems fitting for the engineer to be far more fastidious about things being just so. Yes, it's a bit of a stereotype - a trope, if you will - but one that might have some teeth in this situation. After all, if you're building race cars that go ridiculous miles per hour, there's no room for error. I think the contrast between the two brothers - Mario's outside world is consistently on the edge of chaos while Luigi's inside world is the one on the precipice - is fascinating.

Sports

Now, it's not like Luigi has zero athletic ability (despite his complaints). We see a tennis racket in his room and a dartboard. He helped Mario beat up Bowser with zero training montage. It's just that Luigi seems to gravitate towards athletic endeavors that require more pinpoint accuracy (not that baseball and football don't, but it's a little different in my mind) and that avoid almost all risk of physical collision. Again, those interests are not what we think of as "stereotypical" of the big hero. And Luigi is a hero, but in a very different way than his brother.

Camera

I don't have too much to say about this one, but I think it's delightful that Luigi owns and uses an old-school camera. We can actually see two black-and-white photos pinned to his wall in the concept art, showing us Luigi's more artistic side, which is kind of neat (and let's not forget the movie subs in an art mannequin for the mecha, which only strengthens this notion of art interest. Maybe he's into the notion cybernetics? It's possible). I suppose I could read into camera thing as an observer vs. participant dynamic (Luigi behind the lens observing while Mario is always in the action), but I wouldn't make an argument any more in-depth, and even that statement is a bit of a leap in a document chock-full of leaps.

Conclusion

If you're expecting a thesis out of this, I'm sorry to disappoint - I don't really have one. I suppose this whole rundown is more of a literature review than anything else, but what I do want to stress is what can be read from the objects in the room and their placement. I can't and won't pretend to know the intentions of the artists here. It's very possible there was far less thought put into the design and layout of these rooms than the long treatise I have just given over to it. This being said, because there is a fair amount of consistency between the concept art and the movie and because there is a fair amount of subtle character moments throughout the film (which have been broken down by other intrepid Tumblr friends), I might lean towards the notion that these design choices do have some degree of intent in subconsciously shaping how we, the viewer, read the brothers.

(And yeah, maybe I just wanted an excuse to pin more evidence onto my "Luigi wanted to be a mechanical engineer and is actually really skilled at robotics and other science" conspiracy thread bulletin board :D

[izvmimi]

cw: fluff. pokemon au, inspired by @/strawberrystepmom. fem!reader and izuku are both children.

“Ah!!!!!”

A girl’s piercing scream turns a couple heads further down and up the walking path, but you, the screaming girl, are clearly fine, just startled. You’ve toppled over and are now collapsed on the ground, and now comfortable in your lap is a Chikorita looking at you lovingly, its leaf blade jolting side by side like a wagging tail.

Out of the same small patch of forest your gentle assailant emerged from comes a little boy about your age, with messy green curls and green eyes reminiscent but darker in shade than the Chikorita, and he looks distressed for a split second as he searches, but once his eyes fall on you there’s a moment of surprise and then relief.

“Sorry! She won’t hurt you!”

You’re almost the same color as the Chikorita by now and stiff, the petrified look on your face making your vice clear - you are afraid of most Pokémon, making the world you live in difficult to navigate.

The boy notices you’re not answering him, and comes over, gently chiding his Chikorita to get off of you and jump into his arms. You let yourself breathe again and cradling the Chikorita carefully still so that it can’t attack you with affection again (its wide eyes continue to stare at you curiously), he addresses you.

“Hey, are you okay?” he extends an arm to you as you try to get up, but you don’t want him to let his Chikorita go. Embarrassed, you rise up quickly and look away as you pat the dust off your clothes.

“Yeah!! i’m fine, I was just surprised, that’s all,” you stammer, making your way to leave, but once you’ve turned your back, the kind-looking boy is still speaking to you instead of taking the cue.

“Chichi gets really excited when she meets new people, especially if she thinks they’re nice,” he adds.

You ponder on the word ‘nice’. Aren’t most people nice? Plus you weren’t really being nice to ‘Chichi’ or any of the other Pokémon you passed today, imagining them biting you or using their skills if you moved too quickly.

You nod, but he’s still talking. Even though you’re only ten, you’ve figured that the more Pokémon people have, the more willing they are to talk to strangers, especially strangers their own age. This boy, judging from his backpack and the round object bulging his pocket is probably a new Trainer on a journey. You’ll have nothing in common.

“Do you have any Pokémon?” he asks, his eyes sparkling with curiosity.

Here we go, you think in your head. When you say no, he’ll ask you why not, then look at you funny when you say they scare you; if you lie and say yes, he’ll ask to battle.

So the obvious solution, instead of answering, is to start off running, which you do promptly.

The only unforeseen issue is that he starts running too.

“Hey did i make you mad? I’m sorry!! Wait up!” he calls after you. You look back at him in confusion because why is he chasing a stranger, only narrowly missing an old lady who gives you a dirty look as you half-yell, half-whisper an apology, dodging past her and weaving through the other folks on this trail. Just when you’re out of breath and you think you’ve lost him, you give yourself a couple minutes to recover. Your mom will probably wonder where you are since you left your books open on the living room floor before running out suddenly for fresh air, anyway.

The boy shows up again, Chikorita still in his arms, but he’s panting, red-faced and confused.

“Why are you running from me?”

You are aghast.

“Why are you following me?” you ask back. He blinks for a moment, as though you’ve asked a question he didn’t expect in the realm of inquiry for this particular situation.

“Chichi likes you,” he finally replies. You tilt your head.

“So?” You don’t mean to sound mean, but this boy’s freckled and cheerful face is starting to annoy you. He pouts then and you feel bad.

“When Chichi likes people, it means I should like them too,” he says. He hugs her close as she squirms out as though she wants to play with you again. You take an involuntary step back.

“I promise she won’t hurt you,” he insists. “but I won’t let her jump at you if you’re scared-“

“I’m not scared,” you reply quickly, but your heart is pounding. The boy nods, agreeing with you.

“You’re not scared,” he repeats. Now it feels like he’s making fun of you. You change the subject, realizing running won’t work so appeasing him enough that he leaves satisfied might.

“i’m ___, what’s your name?”

His eyes light up at the show of interest

“Izuku! And some of my friends call me Deku, and I’ve been on the road to be the best Pokemon trainer for exactly 53 hours now and I’ve had chichi since i was eight and…” he trails off, then adds, “Sorry did I talk too much?”

He technically did, but you’ve never been one to ever really want someone to stop talking when they're excited about something. You shake your head.

“You’ve had Chichi since you were eight?” you ask. You look at her again and she appears to have given up on you, now nuzzling gently against her trainer, eyes slightly lowered.

“Yes, I ran into Chichi when I got lost in the forest outside my house a little while back, and Chichi helped me get out and also Chichi is really good at finding new friends for me.”

“Maybe Chichi is just really friendly,” you say. You don’t know why you’re still talking to Izuku but he’s earnest enough the last thing you want to do is make him sad by leaving.

“She doesn’t like everyone, and I haven’t seen her like someone as much as you,” he points out. You’re skeptical but he adds, “can we be friends?”

It’s so direct it surprises you.

“Please?”

You hesitate and he rummages through his bag quickly, then pulls out a Pokeball.

“I’ll even give you one of my first catches.”

He opens it and you jump back but it’s a fish, flopping worthlessly on the ground. You and he both look at it dumbfounded and even Chichi looks at him.

“A Magikarp?” you ask, eyebrows raised.

He blushes a deep red, then quickly recalls it. “Not this one, I-I got mixed up.”

He rummages a little again, murmuring something in embarrassment under his breath and from another Pokeball comes a little foxlike creature.

“This is an Eevee. She was hard to catch but she’s really nice.”

The Eevee looks up at you and you frown but as you freeze in place it approaches you slowly and stand right before you waiting for you to react. Chichi makes a sound of excitement and tries to jump out again and Izuku chides it sweetly.

“No, she’ll run away again.”

You take your eyes off the Eevee for just a moment to look at him and the Eevee takes that as an opportunity to rub against your legs. you feel a jolt of electricity go through you, but the Eevee continues to purr and you can’t imagine it ever hurting you.

“See, she likes you!”

Izuku seems delighted, approaching now. You look at him helplessly, and he’s smiling wide.

“I think you have a natural affinity for Pokémon,” he praises, and your cheeks warm. your mother always told you Pokémon trainers deluded themselves and the boy grinning at you, unable to control his excitement, seems to be the type to be easily deluded, but your hand is reaching for the Eevee’s fur now for the very first time.

And just a few moments later, both of you are petting it, and Chichi is sitting in your lap.

“I’ll be here tomorrow at 10 if you wanna talk again?” Izuku asks. “There are some Pokémon i wanna catch in the forest. Do you wanna watch?”

You can think of ten things you should probably do instead, but Chichi is looking at you so hopefully as you say, “yes.”

“Really?!” Izuku’s eyes grow wide and he jumps up, so filled with energy he does a cartwheel, and that makes you giggle. You glance at Eevee again, and think, perhaps you should come up with a name.

[centrally-unplanned]

2024 Stuff I Liked Post - Live Action Film/TV

Combining TV and film since I didn't watch that much TV this year:

House of the Dragon: Look, I like A Song of Ice and Fire. I like period dramas. I like pretty costumes and people looking at maps. Dragons are cool! Okay really, I think HotD is well made? It is not perfect, Season 2 had some really baffling pacing missteps and their modern-day political concerns are very obvious. But these were frustrating in that "I am already a fan" kind of way, you go "aw come on!" at the screen but you are still watching! The acting is excellent, the set designs are very strong, and a lot of things like the action/fight choreography really fixed issues with the first show.

And at its core it is adapting a really solid story. This year I also reread the Dance section of Fire & Blood, and I know it is a controversial tale in the fandom? And I do see their complaints (Rhaenyra & Aegon need to be 20% more sympathetic), but overall I think the story is just tonally and thematically really strong, and some of the prose is authentically top notch. George RR Martin is a good writer, hot take!

Throw Away Your Books, Rally in the Streets: Yeah the above is too mainstream, let's get hipster baby. The first film of seminal new wave director Shūji Terayama, this 1971 is peak hippie countercultural revolution. It is avant garde sequences about modernity, materialism, and spiritual decay. Those are themes that, in a movie from today, are tiring. Like come on, I too have taken a sociology class, you can graduate from college and get a real job for a bit first. But watching a film from this era, it all hits differently. Japan in 1971 is actually, in many real ways, entering "the era of materialism & westernization" for the first time. It is new, not understood, contested. And from that, the idea that a movie could maybe change someone's view on all that actually isn't so crazy anymore. The revolutionary zeal to make a Message Film is actually kind of justified by the context of the time, you can tell they believe.

Additionally, as a Japanese 70's counterculture film it can serve as an interesting contrast because they are openly pulling from western radicalism, but applying it to a very different social context. Like in Japan, "traditional" culture can be very left-coded because westernization is stripping it away - something that can't work in many western contexts where "traditional" orgs are still running the show. Though it is amusing seeing the sheer quantity of people in Tokyo in bell-bottom jeans lol, the American Cultural Victory is absolute.

And on a more object-level, while the plot is mixed, the soundtrack absolutely wrecks shop as a rock album, the visual composition is exceptional, and the lead is very charismatic. This might actually be the best 70's New Wave film I have seen so far.

The Indie Tokusatsu Collection: Over this year Partner M has been fansubbing indie girl heroine tokusatsu films, after Hazel's video on the subject changed her life, and I have been helping out and ofc watching all the movies. I love weird niche Japanese stuff, obviously, and have a deep admiration for amateurs going all-in on their fetishes for an indie production. Still, individually none of these would be My Thing, even if they are very fun. But collectively, watching a dozen of these films has been extremely entertaining as a project of cultural immersion - it is great to get to know these crazy weirdos making these films and the baffling decisions they make! I now have a parasocial relationship with the tiny Eiyu Club crew from doing deep dives into their 90's website documenting how much they loved their gynoid girls, and I will remember that way more than any Oscar film plot point.

If I had to recommend one to watch, I am tied between Cyber Lady Suzuka, which is the pinnacle of "three guys and a hundred bucks making a movie", and Mighty Lady, which is simply inexplicable as a film.

Honorable Mentions: Repo! The Genetic Opera, IRL (In Real Life) aka The Bronze Documentary, Cutie Honey

[atopvisenyashill]

has the reread affected your thoughts on aeg6 and company?

get ready official stance everyone gather round. i think there’s really obviously doubt being sown about aegon’s identity & the motives of illyrio but i think it’s there for a different reason than most other think it’s there. why. because i’m annoying.

aksjdj okay well. biggest marks in favor of it

there’s so much “finishing the work of bittersteel” language wrt the golden company in adwd it’s kind of crazy

illyrio is really shady

bloodraven like, Just showed up and he has a weirwood police state like, ready to go

COMMA BUT.

there’s just like, so many other things that “finishing bittersteel’s work” & the involvement of the golden company that this stuff could be referring to.

in that vein, a lot of the cryptic lines/imagery used to support the theory could represent other things besides the blackfyres. and there’s plenty of cryptic lines/imagery that reinforce him being real.

illyrio being shady, again, could be other things. him being a blackfyre or serra being a blackfyre Is One Theory but none of the evidence is concrete for me, as in Only Pointing To One Thing, vs i’m sorry to the other crazy jon parentage truthers, but the very obvious & only answer in the books is Rhaegar & Lyanna.

that entire point but about varys too.

i think this theory relies a lot on the motives of very minor characters like myles toyne and serra and random background blackfyres & targaryens, & is a little bit too in the weeds. as a ‘bran is time traveling’ truther, i realize how crazy it is that i just said that however.

so the point of my opinion that is changed is that there ARE a lot of red flags about the behavior of the men who surround aegon’s plot in a way that points to something like, sooooooo much shadier than just purposefully hanging three kids (the pisswater prince, dany, & viserys) out to dry to play mad psychologist w your perfect prince plot. there is objectively something fishy going on. that is the feeling i got the entire time i was reading about these characters - aegon & joncon are being manipulated by illyrio & varys.

but here’s the thing. “aegon and joncon are being manipulated by illyrio & varys” can still mean lots of things. what i think is that there is purposeful doubt being sown about aegon because his other two living relatives, jon & dany, are going to react very differently to him. he will think aegon is his real half brother and she will believe he is the mummer’s dragon & mistrust him. i don’t think we will ultimately get a satisfying answer even if we get a longer villain speech from varys or illyrio and i think it’s bc the point isn’t “he’s definitely fake” it’s that He Will Have A Reputation In Some Eyes As Being Fake. the point is how dany & jon feel about him, not whether he is rhaegar & elia’s son or serra & illyrio’s.

i definitely think there’s room for it to be true and to get stronger confirmation but at this point, i think a lot of the evidence is just about how dany will clash with him & joncon and less about a second reveal about his identity. i think aegon will die believing himself to be rhaegar’s son, and a lot of other people will believe that too.

[lotus-tower]

okay so. i've always thought it was obvious that yoshiwara in flames arc's main relevance to gintama's overall narrative is as the prelude to rakuyou. like it's not thematically very interesting on its own, right? but it exists mainly for kagura and kamui's sake, establishing the sort of parallelism that gintama lives off of. it isn't really that connected to the red spider arc even though at first it might seem to be.

but i had no idea about the meaning of the name "rakuyou" until i saw @suchira 's post about it earlier today. and before that i also hadn't thought about utsuro's connection to the sun, which they've also talked about.

given everything that happens in rakuyou, this has expanded my thoughts quite a bit! i'm going be thinking through this as i go, so this is going to be me rambling.

housen is one of the few big arc villains who don't feel related to gintoki. jirocho, jiraia, oboro, takasugi--these kinds are obviously meant to be foils to gintoki. isaburo functions differently as a character, but even he gets directly compared to gintoki by nobume. but housen isn't really there for gintoki--he's there for kamui. he isn't a particularly interesting character, nor is his death very satisfying because of the wishywashy writing about hinowa showing kindness to him at the end. previously i'd thought that his thing with the sun was just a weaker example of craving something that would destroy you, and/or running away from one's weaknesses and vulnerabilities to the point that you become a sort of husk.

that's probably still a thing, but the introduction of the sun motif on the much more meaning-dense end of gintama adds so much more. because now the pre-existing thematic framework of gintama can do the heavy lifting for housen (who is, again, a pretty uninteresting character), hinowa (who is cool, but suffers from both Woman and Mom in shounen), and tsukuyo (who is very cool, but suffers egregiously from Woman in shounen).

so what is housen, really? he's the guy kamui chose to go with when making his very bad life decisions, the end result of the path he decided to pursue. for simplicity let's call him kamui bad end, though they aren't very comparable in canon itself because housen doesn't come across as nearly self-destructive enough. but the basic logic is that housen is one of those characters who gave up everything in single-minded pursuit of power--he's a flat character because he already "emptied himself out", as kamui says, before the series started. (but then he got scared and lonely, and all that.)

what's funny is that if housen is a bad end, then the guy who he considers his rival automatically comes to mind as an opposed route. i think it would be a serious stretch to call umibouzu the "good end" for kamui, and that's definitely part of the point in how the yato are written. but in any case, kamui clearly looked both ways (insert roads leading to two castles meme) and saw housen stereotypical villain bad end on one side, and his dad on the other. so obviously he chose housen.

rakuyou is a planet where it's always overcast. you could say that kamui chose to leave that "safety" in order to pursue something that shone much brighter to him, even if it would disintegrate him in the end. or, since rakuyou's name invokes the sun, you could say that he chose to flee the place of his weakness and pain, where his family was, like housen deciding to flee the sun and build an underground paradise.

when i go over my gintama cast tarot assignments, i always hesitate over hinowa. is she the Sun? or the Empress? how can i choose? and i think this is essentially the same conundrum. and i think the fact that she's both (thankfully, actual gintama storytelling isn't restricted to 1 character = 1 arcana) also provides us with the best answer here. hinowa is the object of yearning of both housen (as the sun) and of seita (as a mother). obviously, as i said before, the whole seita-hinowa thing is meant to lay the groundwork for kamui's motivations, and is also why he's introduced in this arc in the particular way that he is. but kamui is both seita and housen. he's the child yearning for his mother, but also the warlord who fears the sun so much he'll lock not only himself but countless others into the dark forever. but housen also desperately longed for the sun. kamui looks down on seita for being weak, and he looks down on housen for choosing to drown himself in vices at the end of his life. in the end, he doesn't kill either one of them.

if the sun is what kamui yearns for, he wants to leave rainy "rakuyou" behind--and/or he misses his home, his childhood, his family, even if these things feel like they will destroy him. or, if the sun is what kamui seeks to avoid, he wants to turn away from "rakuyou", all the things that hold him down so that he can throw himself into single-minded pursuit of self-destruction--and/or he's afraid of the weakness and pain that the sun inflicts on him, and desires to be strong enough that he won't feel them. see, a whole lot of words to say the same thing over and over.

i've always assigned housen the Emperor arcana. and i've often wondered, should it be umibouzu instead? should it be utsuro? and that, i think, is another illumination. thank you tarot for being an icon. it's so effective here because gintama is predictably built on parallels, and overlapping arcana assignments are bound to make you think: why?

in the end, housen builds a city underground in order to avoid the sun, but he also severs hinowa's ankles so that he can hold her, the sun proxy, captive in his grasp. he can't bear to feel sunlight, but he can't bear to let it go either. kamui is much the same, but he's young--he thinks he can let it go, his fears and regrets haven't caught up to him yet, because he still has so much to reach for. housen attained the peak of his strength and notoriety, and then there was little left for him.

what else happens in rakuyou? well, oboro and takasugi fight. oboro is sort of a seita figure in his own right, if seita had burned down yoshiwara in hopes that it would drive hinowa running to him. of course, seita didn't know that hinowa couldn't run; and oboro didn't know that shouyou couldn't, either.

but aside from seita and housen, there's another character in yoshiwara who yearns for the sun--not to possess it, but to protect it, to serve it. tsukuyo is an interesting character heavily let down by the realities of living in shounen jump. from my own understanding of sorachi's character, i don't think the following was intentional on his part. but i do think there are real reasons why these parallels are textually present (mainly through gintoki).

tsukuyo is the closest oboro has in this series to someone similar to him. not in the sense of a reflection in the mirror or hole-sided adjacency, but as in someone who sort of has a similar job and background to him. or had, anyway. as i implied earlier, the few, specific, clearly intentional similarities she has with gintoki (hello red spider) bleed over into her similarities with oboro, of course, because gintoki and oboro are... you know. just look at them.

tsukuyo swore herself to hinowa, but technically she was working under housen. she led housen's paramilitary force--fortunately, the hyakka loved her a lot more than the naraku were probably ever able to have an opinion about oboro. i don't think tsukuyo and oboro would ever get along--but they did have the same job. oboro did it in the heavens, tsukuyo did it underground. anyway, hinowa "saved" tsukuyo by teaching her about fighting from inside one's cage, and so tsukuyo gladly walked into the cage, just like oboro returning to the naraku without shouyou. because they thought it would be worth it. and also because tsukuyo had been groomed from a young age for the Hole (apologies to those who haven't read my ouroboros essay), to give up on her selfhood, and also to kill her sensei (hello gintoki). but hinowa remained around, unlike shouyou. tsukuyo never thought she could really free her--but protecting her, being able to see her, was enough.

oboro's life problem is a bit like if hinowa and housen were the same person. but kamui would see in that pairing only a reflection of his parents. and also, kouka is a bit like if hinowa and utsuro were the same person. but utsuro is already like if shouyou and utsuro were the same person--because oboro's actual life problem is that shouyou and utsuro are the same person.

i've spoken a lot about tarot, but the moon in gintama has little to do with the Moon arcana. in gintama it's the backdrop, the symbol of promises--promises made, promises fulfilled, promises held on to dearly whether they can be fulfilled or not. i don't truly think that the sun as represented by hinowa interacts directly with this. but tsukuyo and oboro share moon-related names, and their promises (or rather, their vows of devotion) towards hinowa/shouyou are one-sided. one-sided promises aren't a problem in gintama--our silver-haired protagonist wouldn't be alive if it weren't for them.

if the naraku, if utsuro, if oboro under utsuro is associated with the sun through the yatagarasu, perhaps it's because of the evaporation of the promise through the eclipsing of the moon. shouka sonjuku, after all, burned down, and utsuro emerged from a pyre. and though i think that the sun is overall a motif much more strongly associated with the yato--that which they avoid, are weak to, and secretly long for--i don't think that's incompatible with the crow-meaning.

rabbits can die of loneliness, you know--or they can die from overheating in the sun. i think the question here is, is this a trick question? are those two the same thing?

[blainehasregrets]

Wardrobe Symbolism in Duets

I’ve been wanting to talk about the symbolism behind this sweater for forever, and I had almost thought about posting this on the glee Reddit but…I don’t think this kind of thing would be welcome there idk 😅 so I decided to finally start a blog to talk about glee so I can make my stupidly long essays in peace.

Anyways here’s an overly long Kurt Hummel character analysis!

This sweater is one of my favorites clothing choices in the show, and I think it gives us a lot of insight into Kurt’s character.

Quick disclaimer:

I know it’s just a tv show and it’s not that deep, in fact I truly believe glee is a show with absolutely 0 subtext and what you see is what you get. I think I’m pretty good at separating what the show intended vs what I actually feel, and I try to point out what’s actually canon and what’s not. I also know very well that Glee often underestimated the seriousness of the topics they talked about and they almost never actually planned stuff ahead, so none of this was actually meant to be that serious in the show. Not just that, but the understanding of consent has changed over the years as well, and that reflects in media of its time. However! I find it fun to analyze everything anyway. This is literally just for fun!

Okay now…

Duets, in my opinion, is one of the most defining episodes for Kurt’s character, in conjunction with Wheels and Theatricality. This episode contains some pretty important moments for him.

For one, he gets called out for his previous behavior regarding the Finn situation in season 1.

We learn just how lonely he feels, and how his biggest wish is to be able to live and experience romance just like anyone else.

He overcomes said loneliness by owning it and doing a duet on his own that celebrates both masculinity and femininity.

He gains a friend in Rachel.

He also learns 2 lessons that have a big impact on his character. While the obvious “don’t hit on straight boys” is an objectively good one that Kurt will take to heart as he never does so again, there is an underlying message of “your problems are not anyone else’s” that will, going forward, also have a negative effect on Kurt, and most notably why he struggles with his relationship with Blaine.

To fully understand Duets and Kurt’s character, and the affect this subplot will have on his future character development, you have to understand that:

Kurt’s crush on Finn was gone in Home, and in Theatricality he was completely over Finn. His frustration towards Finn in that episode stems from being misunderstood, and the miscommunication between them because Finn didn’t know that Kurt's crush was gone. So he already has had experiences having his motives misconstrued

You can’t just pay attention to what only Finn and Burt were saying in Duets, like I think a lot of people do. Rachel’s words to him at the end of this episode, “I can’t imagine what it would be like to have feelings you can’t act on for fear of being humiliated, ridiculed, or worse”, are just as important to understanding the effect this will have on Kurt. The situation is more than just “Kurt was wrong for wanting to sing with Sam”.

However, this isn’t solely about dissecting Duets as whole, so I’ll move on!

Obviously on the surface, this handprint sweater, in this specific episode and this specific scene, represents his lack of boundaries towards Finn in season 1, the assumption that he’ll act the same with Sam, and the reality that, no matter how innocent his intentions might be with Sam, they will automatically be misconstrued as sexual or predatory because of his sexuality. (It really is vital that people understand Rachel’s speech at the end of the episode. This episode isn’t solely about Sam’s consent being ignored by Kurt, because Sam explicitly agrees to sing with Kurt, but it’s also about other people’s reactions if they found out a guy was singing with Kurt, fair or not. Like Finn said, they live in “their” world).

Finn tells Kurt he doesn’t know when no means no. Hence the blue sweater depicting two messy handprints on his chest.

But while that’s the obvious reason it’s used in this scene, there’s something else that’s prevalent with Kurt’s character that will become a major plot point in just two episodes. An issue Kurt will face again and again throughout the show: a disrespect towards his own consent/boundaries, and the lack of agency he feels over his life and body, which affects how he sees himself and interacts with others. It’s foreshadowing for the upcoming arc where Karofsky crosses the line and kisses him. The hands are, after all, ultimately on him.

From episode 1, our very first introduction to Kurt is him being thrown into a dumpster by a group of boys and ignored by Will. With a distant, tense relationship with his father, a dead mother, and no friends, Kurt’s main form of contact with other people is the physical bullying he receives. To the point where Finn’s apathy towards him was seen as flirting by Kurt, because that was the nicest a person would be to him. While Finn was a bystander to most of the bullying Kurt received, even actively participating in some of it, Kurt still developed a crush on him.

I believe this all contributed to him having a muddied view of boundaries (thinking it’s okay to set their parents up), his own self worth, and aids in his need for control (which he usually exercised over his dad as that’s the only person he can truly influence, and what he attempted in Home with Finn, but that blew up in his face in the very same episode. Kurt might want to try to control people, but he’s not very good at it!) because he feels as if he has so little of it over his own life.

Another early example of feeling a loss of control: he had no say in how he was able to come out to most people. He was able to do it with Mercedes and his dad on his own terms, two clearly monumental and emotional moments for him, but everyone else automatically assumed he was gay. In Preggers, he still tells Finn he's not gay. In this sense, his choice was taken away, because people had already decided for him that he was gay. And with that loss of choice, came harassment.

Of course, in season 1, Kurt never just took the bullying meekly nor was he particularly scared of his bullies. He usually had a snide comment to make as a defense/coping mechanism. But he did mostly accept it passively because he knew there was really no way he could stop it himself or get help, as people like Mr. Schue would walk by, oblivious. Kurt eventually gives up in season 2, and in turn begins to believe he’s not worthy of being helped and that he needs to deal with his issues on his own, something we already see him feel in Wheels when he decides to keep his dad from knowing the true extent of the harassment he faces to protect him. Duets further cements this for him, as Finn and Burt tell Kurt if he sings with Sam, he’ll be dragging Sam into the bullying he faces, and that’s not fair to Sam, even if Sam had agreed to sing with him. It’s not about the fact that Kurt gets bullied, because it’s treated as an almost inevitable fact of life, it’s that he shouldn’t get others involved. So Kurt decides to dissolve the partnership. You can compare how Kurt in Theatricality is still able to (curtly) ask Finn to tell Azimio and Karofsky to at least leave his clothes alone if they’re going to bully him (not even to stop the bullying, but just to leave his clothes out of it), vs Furt where he’s uncomfortable with the club trying to defend him because it’s not their problem.

Things continue to escalate in season 2. Karofsky forcibly kisses Kurt in Never Been Kissed (and even tries to kiss him again before Kurt pushes him away), and along with the bullying, which still included seemingly daily physical assault as Dave full body slams into Kurt constantly, it ramps up to covert sexual harassment (The wink in The Substitute, the finger on his chest in Furt, along with trying to spin the situation as if Kurt kissed and liked him, essentially trying to victim blame him). This is when we see Kurt go from being passively annoyed/tired of it to being legitimately afraid. Because of the kiss, Karofsky's previous and current targeted harassment towards Kurt takes on a whole new meaning, too. It’s troubling to know that someone who has shown over and over again that they have the capability of being violent towards you also doesn’t respect your consent, and Karofsky stealing the cake topper symbolizes Kurt’s greater fear of what Karofsky is capable of.

(Also I’m fully aware there are giant, glaring differences between how Finn and Karofsky had treated Kurt, so the situations are truly not compatible, but I do find it interesting that, at a certain point, Kurt had been hoping for the "bully secretly in love with him" stereotype to be true, but the actual reality of it was so much scarier than he imagined. Again, not comparable situations at all as Finn's main selling point to Kurt was that he was nice, but I do think Kurt's crush on him showed that he could be someone willing to overlook some abuse. I feel like the implications of Kurt’s crush on Finn and what it said about himself and his experience as a lonely gay teen is often lost because people would rather make it a black and white situation.)

Yet, after the kiss happens, Kurt is more concerned with not outing Karofsky. While he does get to express his sadness over his first kiss being with Karofsky for a scene with Blaine, the scene prior is not a confrontation meant to tell Karofsky he doesn’t know when no means no, or anything about what Kurt feels, it’s Kurt (through Blaine) extending an olive branch to Karofsky and telling Karofsky that he’s not alone and he can talk to them. When Karofsky asks him in The Substitute if he’s told anyone else, Kurt says he knows how hard it is for him so he won’t tell anyone. Kurt, despite everything, ultimately puts Karofsky first, even before Karofsky threatens him over it.

This is for 3 possible reasons. The purely canon one is that he didn’t want to out Karofsky. The show spells it out for you, that’s Kurt’s main motivation to keep Karofsky’s secret safe with him. And, of course, it’s an important one. It could be dangerous for Dave if he’s outed, Kurt knows that better than anyone, and that was Glee’s main moral of that arc: it’s not okay to out people. (until it sorta is later...ugh I hate debates over Santana's outing simply because even regardless of the fact that it was a horrible thing to happen to her, regardless of anyone's personal feelings on Santana, the show had already set the precedent that no matter how "mean" someone is, it is not okay to out them!)

But based on past experiences Kurt has had, I think there are 2 possible other subtextual motivations behind his refusal to tell anyone outside of Blaine:

He knows he wouldn’t be helped. And he wasn’t, which only furthered his belief that telling people about his problems is useless.

He feels he would be blamed for his own assault. He’d already been blamed for his own bullying multiple times (Theatricality, Duets, Wheels, though that was him shouldering the responsibility himself without anyone else's input), and he knows people take issue with him interacting with other guys. Possibly in his eyes it could be likely, especially as Karofsky had already tried to say Kurt had kissed him, that the situation could turn around on him and he could be the one blamed for trying to kiss Karofsky.

And so, Kurt keeps it in.

As the show goes on he’s “stalked” (using this term rather loosely, however I do think it would be natural if Kurt had been extra creeped out by the fact that Karofsky, who now goes to a different school had been visiting him everyday as a "secret admirer") and confessed to by Karofsky in Heart, pressured into sex in The First Time and then yelled at for saying no (to be clear here since this is a sensitive topic: Regardless of what you feel about Blaine’s intentions in the first part of this scene, I feel like it should be easy to admit his reaction to Kurt rejecting him was still objectively guilt trippy/mean/wrong. And that’s even without the added context of the Sebastian/school play of it all which really...adds some very troubling layers to an already rather messy situation), Sexy Santa ties him up when he doesn’t want to roleplay in Previously Unaired Christmas (I’m also aware this is an AU, not meant to be canon, but it’s interesting to me that even in an AU, Kurt’s consent being disrespected is a recurring theme), and Walter is deceitful about his age when he and Kurt talked online in The Hurt Locker Part 1.

Other example of a non-romantic/sexual moments when his boundaries are pushed would be Grilled Cheesus, where he asks the club not to pray for his dad and he’s ignored, even by the adults in his life like Will and Emma, because they think they know what’s best for him. In the end, he relents and says he should have just let them pray and sings a religious song with them anyway. Even his own wedding with Blaine wasn’t exactly “his choice” (but of course, we know it was something that he ultimately wanted in the end anyway.)

Now, I have to recognize: canonically, none of this actually affects Kurt in a way that’s super explicitly obvious. He never outright says “wow I felt very disrespected by this thing that happened. I think I'm going to have communication issues from now on.” lol. When Blaine gets upset that Kurt didn’t want to have sex in TFT, it’s seen as no big deal by Kurt or the narrative. He even says it was worse when Blaine made out with Rachel. And it’s not hard to understand why it’s framed that way. The show itself already has a questionable view of consent (ex: Puck/Quinn) so, to the writers, the overall narrative, and Kurt, it’s no bigger argument than any other. It’s not meant to be that serious. This stuff, as it seems, doesn’t phase him as much as you might think it would, as he is willing to having sex with Blaine literally the next day, and he’s able to move on without problem. And, if you want to believe that none of this affected Kurt because that is somewhat textually factual, you can! It’s right there in canon. In fact, even as someone who absolutely despises TFT, I still think it’s a bittt disingenuous to overblow the effect this has on Kurt by acting as if this forever traumatized him when it feels like the show went out of its way to be like “no, actually it was fine!!” (And I plan to make a post about my full thoughts on TFT eventually.)

However, while I do believe Glee is not a subtext heavy show, I still think you can still make inferences based on what the text presents us. Subtextually, it’s possible to draw the conclusion that Kurt’s nonchalance is because Kurt had already been conditioned to believe he didn’t deserve better treatment (in Duets his bullying is basically seen as a given), had no faith he’d be helped even if he did tell anyone else, and had the belief that he brought this stuff on himself because he’s the one who doesn’t know when no means no. Things like being "stalked", catfished, and yelled at for not wanting to have sex when he already felt uncomfortable and disrespected didn’t register to him as something that maybe he should feel more upset about. Instead, his focus is usually on what the other person might feel. He seeks out and apologizes to Blaine (and this is done for a very specific reason in TFT, to reassure the audience that having sex was 100% Kurt’s choice, but I’ll save that for a post dedicate to that episode lol while I understand their intentions, I still think it ends up painting the situation in a bad light). He blames himself for not picking up Karofsky’s calls. He continues to date Walter.

And I think it’s possible to see how much brushing off these instances affected him later in the show. Because he feels his problem's are not anyone else's, he has a lack of communication skills that ended up causing a rift between him and Blaine when they moved to New York (telling Blaine they need to talk more, then saying they talk too much in Tested), an intense need for control (being upset when Blaine moved a desk in New New York), as well as, how he mentions in Loser Like Me, that he learned in therapy that he doesn’t like himself so he felt he was undeserving of love, and so when Blaine showed him intimacy, he felt like there was something wrong with Blaine too. Kurt was conditioned to believe he had to be alone (Burt’s speech to him in Duets) and so, he ended up internalizing it and was unable to cope when Blaine did anything but leave him alone.

And I would like to add another disclaimer: this analysis isn't actually meant to perpetually woobify Kurt (do people still use that word? am I showing my age?). What I love most about Kurt is how strong he is. He can handle soo much, in fact I think "Kurt had a victim complex" is a huge misconception about his character, because I feel he often tried to brush aside his bigger problems, which is my point here. But I also believe there's also no shame in being a victim. Kurt, and by extension any person, is not lesser than because they had bad things happen to them. Kurt was still able to be strong and kind, and personally I think that’s why I find his character so interesting. Despite all the bad, Kurt continued on. And I just love that character development isn't always just "This character became a better person", sometimes it's a character internalizing lessons that actually negatively affect them! I feel like so many of the issues Kurt continued to have later on in the show stemmed from Duets.

TLDR:

The hands on his sweater represent an occurring theme in Kurt's story where his boundaries were disrespected, and how in turn that had funneled into unhealthy mindset that negatively affected his view of boundaries, himself and his relationship with Blaine.

And, I have a lot less to say about this but, Sam’s Captain America shirt he wears before he gets slushied was also used as symbolism, but I think this is more known? He was being “heroic” by sticking to his values and not letting Finn talk him out of dueting with Kurt, but it also represents the fact that now that he’s in the glee club, he’s a target for harassment. It’s interesting to me that he gets slushied before he even duets with Kurt, though, proving that it isn't Kurt's sole responsibility to keep Sam from being harassed, because being in the club is already enough of a reason. I also have a working theory that in Glee, red symbolizes individuality and blue symbolizes team work and Kurt's sweater being blue means he's putting the team above himself as Finn had told him...but I'm not sure how much I fully believe it. I need to stop being lazy and write an essay about the general color symbolism in glee, and the color grading over the seasons because I am actually so passionate about it lol

[winns-stuff]

LO RANT (MASSIVE TRIGGER WARNING):

Okay my rant for today is going to go into somewhat of a triggering topic which is abuse and normally I try to just be very vague about the more heavier things on Lore Olympus when ranting about them just so I don’t have to say the actual words or acts or anything but unfortunately for this rant it’s going to really be hammering into the more abusive side of Hades because this sort of situation between the fans have really been irking me badly.

I absolutely hate it when fans try and say that Hades is not abusive and all of his behaviors are just justified and excused because of all of the things he’s been through. The main argument I’ve seen with this topic is that he’s not an abuser because he’s never abused Persephone or Minthe or any of the women he’s been in a relationship with and honestly this sort of mindset is so incredibly flawed and sort of ignorant in the nicest way possible since abuse comes in many different forms believe me I know. You can be verbally abused, emotionally abused, sexually abused, and more it’s not only domestic violence and I just wish more fans would be aware of that and not just count domestic violence as a valid type of abuse (which granted I completely get and in no way am I saying that it shouldn’t be something that’s a form of abuse that shouldn’t be validated).

That way of thinking just makes no sense at all, if abuse only mattered in intimate relationships then abusive parents, teachers, counselors, etc wouldn’t be considered or validated at all. Just because he doesn’t hit women does not make his actions any less abusive, we’re talking about the man who constantly talks down on and willfully uses violence on those who cannot fight back. He has no problem exploiting his own citizens and cutting off their resources and transportation between realms at the drop of a penny and he definitely does not care about the well being of those who have to work for him. He’s an abusive asshole and his actions are absolutely heinous and incredibly distasteful.

Honestly this just makes me ask the question of why, why is Rachel even putting these elements in her story anyways if she’s not going to address it or try to explore these disgusting aspects of our very society. I’m sorry y’all but I do not believe that she doesn’t believe in half of the things she writes about, normally if someone does not agree with problematic elements in their story they’ll make it a point to try and point out its flaws or at the very least show people that “hey, please do not glorify xyz” you know? Like there’s evidence of the creator actively going against the things that they don’t agree with yet Rachel has never come out to say anything. She doesn’t address any of these problematic choices in her own story and instead of actually doing things with them she just keeps them in the story for no fucking reason. The nymphs (who are the lower class might I add and also make up the uncomfortable fantasy racism) should not be sexualized and used as objects for male pleasure. The satyrs and other non gods that live amongst Olympus and the Underworld should not be shown to be in hostile situations by their bosses for literally no other reason other than a few laughs. Persephone should not be sexualized by Rachel every other fucking panel, can we please talk about that soon because it’s getting fairly obvious that Rachel is just using Persephone only to be ogled at and heavily sexualized. The age gap never should’ve happened because again Rachel herself makes it a damn point to remind everyone that Lore Olympus is literally just a “cute” minor x adult fanfic, the whole thing reminds me of lolis and how people defend that shit by saying that they’re adults. And even more stuff but that would be about 400,000 words long at this point.

Anyways, I just want to end this by saying I’m not terribly angry at fans I’m just disappointed and honestly kind of annoyed I wish they would actually reread the things that they’re supporting and defending and actually start to think about what the comic is saying instead of just blindly going along with it. Another point is I do not believe Rachel is the best person and I’d love it if we could finally hold her accountable because I’m sorry but if she genuinely sees no problem with half of this stuff and she’s spreading it around in her award winning 4 million reader comic while there’s an entire fucking community trying to tell her how absolutely harmful and shitty the content is (that she keeps ignoring for a fucking reason might I add) I don’t find myself having much hope that she’s not a bad person, and maybe I am wrong although I genuinely don’t think I am because normally with good people you don’t have to keep wandering and convincing yourself that they’re good since they do that for you by their actions and how she’s been carrying herself these past years have not shown me otherwise.

Edit: With this rant though I do not want to incite any harassment or bullying Rachel’s way because that’s nowhere at all where I was trying to get when I said she needs to be held accountable. Harassment and cyber bullying is genuine asshole behavior and something I really don’t tolerate and besides there’s better ways to hold Rachel accountable that doesn’t require that kind of stuff.

[splanana-bitz]

This rant I'm about to go on will probably not even get noticed, but, I genuinely do not care.

I just want to take a solid few minutes to really praise Will Wood and how...intellectual and meaningful his lyrics are. I know that's probably obvious to a lot of other WW fans already, but his music has been causing me actual brainrot and I can't stop putting his albums on repeat, ESPECIALLY The Normal Album, and I can't and won't shut up about it.

(Heads up, this is simply a take of mine on The Normal Album that I've been really wanting to talk about. I am by no means disclosing that what I am about to say is objective and/or true. You may politely correct me or respectfully counter it with your own opinions/thoughts, but kindly remember, this is just me mindlessly blabbering about how much the album means to me, how the little details make up my theory for the album's theme/point, and just me fangirling over the thought he put into his music.)

Alright I'm gonna go out on a limb here and essentially just explain my Normal Album theory I compiled by making the most logical connections and assumptions based off the album's lyrics and certain song's context(s) from the album.

To me, The Normal Album is an ironic, satirical juxtaposition testing "normal" people's reactions to "hush hush" topics of conversation, or things we don't typically think/talk about that aren't considered "normal" at all. Not only that, but also how the little bits and pieces from different songs and lyrics from the album make up said theme, is just so astounding to me. It truly shows that he put a lot of thought into his work and you can tell some of the songs are hitting just as close to home for him as it does with a lot of fans who look really into it.

To further emphasize, notice how the first song of The Normal Album, "Suburbia Overture / Greetings from Mary Bell Township! / (Vampire) Culture / Love Me, Normally," the first name and part(?) of the song is literally starting with "Suburbia?" Suburbia is often known as a neighborhood that appeals as a peaceful, cookie cutter place to live or the collective standard people envision as to what "normal" people should act like or how if you really are "normal," this is how you should live your life; a shiny, happy family, white pickett fences, perfectly cut grass, etc. Suburbia also (stereotypically) expresses resentment anyone that does not fit their standard of "normal," and I think that's Will's entire point, not only expressed in this song in particular, but the entire album. He is testing the waters by presenting this as an exaggeratedly normal album on the surface, but the further you get into it and/or dive into the lyrics, it becomes evident this is not normal at all. Just like how modern, suburbian culture (that he very explicitly expresses that he despises (e.g, "fuck your culture," "culture is not your friend")) presents itself as normal, even though behind closed doors, we know there is most likely something that is not okay, or something going on that contradicts the suburbia's own self-established standard of normal.

Hell, even the album cover is Will wearing "normal" suburbia-esque attire, waving out a window with a smile on his face, presenting as the normal he very much opposes with this album's music. This enhances the theme because of how much its trying to look normal on the cover; only ironically portraying Suburbia as too good to be true even more. And this is only the first of many symbolic details found within the album. With the ironic title, plus this sense of imagery, who wouldn't think it wasn't normal? (but if you know Will Wood and/or look at the titles, then you know damn well this album is far from it.)

By showing us something normal on the cover and starting off the album with a song who's title's first word is "Suburbia," it unveils itself to be ironic yet symbolic, reflecting suburbian attitude and showing how these kinds, and plenty of other people, treat what should be considered important topics (identity, death, morality, mental health, etc.) as things to be swept under the rug because it was not integrated into their "normal" ideals, through its music and words.

For example, to help even further prove my point, just look at some of the lyrics/song titles:

·"It's only culture, and its more afraid of you than you are of it." - That right there, that right there is his entire thesis that sums up his point of the album, along with my theory. Anything different opposing "normal" culture, the same culture grows a fear of it, often times trying to silence it out of fear of losing control of or entirely losing the "normal" haven/standard that has been created and set. Will bringing up the topics he does within the album does this very thing, destroying the "normal" feeling that had been set at the beginning, along with revealing the album's lack of hesitancy to discuss tough topics, the undertones of its true nature, and shining a light on how the album is ironically not normal at all.

·"I/Me/Myself" - A song that plays into the themes of not only identity, but the same themes of normality and conformity by discussing how both cis and trans people have their idea of normal towards labels and how one should act according to theirs and are both capable of projecting it in a toxic manner that tries to push down anything that defies it. Will Wood LITERALLY wrote and explained how this song is talking about his experiences as someone who used to be a genderqueer person, how both people on each side of the gender spectrum tried telling him that he can't do xyz because he's a cis man/genderqueer person (or in general), his frustrations with said standards, and that he only wore his gender identity as something to serve a purpose. Just because your behavior, interests, or whatever, contradicts your birth gender, it does not mean you have to conform to labels on either side, even if its not "normal" to everyone telling you otherwise. This very thing also exemplifies how this aforementioned culture is "not your friend" and that it can and will very much push down its standard of normality down your throat, no matter how good it seems or what side its on.

·"Marsha, Thankk You for the Dialectics, but I Need You to Leave" - Like "I/Me/Myself," this song also presents two (most likely extremist) sides that have their own standard of "normal," but this time, it discusses mental wellness instead. Regarding the fact this song revolves around themes of mental health and the balance of how it should be treated, we are given two (or possibly several more) perspectives on the subject matter that could each be considered normal, depending on the evironment/generation. (E.g., we hear a side throughout the song that seems to oppose professional/medical help in this regard or leans away from heavy reliance on such things (e.g., "Back in my day we didn't need no feel good pills and no psychiatrists, we just drank ourselves to death/bled out in our bath," "A little identity never hurt nobody, but lately you've been focusing too much on yourself," etc). And then, we also hear a side that is also consistent throughout the song, seemingly the polar opposite (e.g., "Better safe than sorry, and we both know the danger," "And a little conformity never hurt nobody, but lately I've been worried that you're losing yourself," etc.) (This one is kinda loosely tied, but I still thought it played into themes similar to I/Me/Myself in terms of normality, sorry if it doesnt make too much sense)

·"Well this disease is defined by its treatment, you people make me sick!" - This bit from Outliars and Hypocrates helps emphasize the album's theme further due to the song itself (theoretically) being about human behavior and this lyric also showing how these "normal" people may treat anything different negatively, creating issues within the person who appears as different and making them think something is wrong with them, potentially forcing the person to conform in order to avoid being ostracized (further creating and pushing the established "normal" expectations). Thus, creating a "disease" that is not at all a disease, and merely just behavior that is only treated as such because it does not fit the metaphorical and literal suburbia's standard or ideals of "normal."

I could go on and on, but I have been typing for way too long at this point (my hands and brain are actually hurting, help- VHKDFJ). There are plenty of other lyrics and songs I want(ed) to integrate in this post, but as I just said, I'm very tired from writing all this, and besides, I think I've made my point/theory clear. Whether I'm correct (partially or fully) or not, this was still fun to talk about, and trust me I have so much more praise for this man and his work and I got plenty of more speculations as to what some of his other songs could mean. Maybe I'll make more posts on it sometime in the future, but who knows?

And again, I cannot stress this enough, please do not harrass me for this and if you do believe otherwise, please reply respectfully. I know some, if not most people are nonchalant at the least about this kinda stuff, but I do NOT wanna deal with any comments or replies I know I could possibly get that'll be going "Erm, Actually-" or getting pissed at me for having an opinion. I am in no way claiming my postulation is definitivelty correct, these are just MY theories and MY thoughts. If you have anything different to say or your own theories about The Normal Album, or just any of WW's music in general, I would love to hear them in a respectful manner and/or your reasons for why you think xyz about the album(s).

I just had to rant about how truly incredible Wood's choice of words and music were for the album. The theme is truly very astounding, but just the pieces in the words and titles that make up the puzzle, is what it makes it even better. It is just so well thought out and amazing to me. Will Wood is one of the most lyrically intlligent, and seemingly passionate artist's that I've ever seen. If you dont like his music or have never even heard of him, at least read more analytical posts like this just so you can get a taste, and/or at the least, appreciate how absolutely profound Will is with his lyrics. My compliments and explainations for his work do not do it justice. It is just something you have to listen to for yourself. His content just cannot be put into a box by words.

[terriblyrenderedenigma]

Darth maul be upon ye, the long awaited (probably) Part 2

FINALLY I return to finish my thoughts about the homie maul. Who knows if my writing can all fit, I don't even know the tumblr rules for writing lmao. So this is gonna be like Maul's loving style, and shit like. Mmm. Aat least how I think about it. Enjoy lmao. Part 2 of 2 (I wrote a lot) Warnings: None. (I think)

"I'm frustrated that my words cannot accurately describe your allure, the feeling of power that rolls off you in the same way waves crash against a shore, the way… just the way you live and breathe! It's as if the entire universe was meant to bow at your feet and sing your praises. At the end of time, if no soul takes your side, I will. Know even in your darkest nights and bleakest days that among the stars, there is a heart that beats for you and all you are. No matter what atrocity you claim to be. You told me you were a monster when we first met. Maybe I still need to see it. You still need to show me… Perhaps I'm a fool, letting my heart bleed for you. But even then in the scourge of your wrath, I would be there to wipe the sweat from your brow in the midst of your misdeeds to the galaxy." -Another bit of a letter about homie Maul. Love writing about this bitch.

Okay so Maul is the KING of slow burn. No fuckin doubt about it. Wanna know why? Trust. Trust is the most important thing in a relationship to Maul. He has to trust you, he has to know you aren't selling him out to his enemies. Because maker knows he's probably got a ton of 'em. The Jedi are on his ass, fuckin Palpatine, I mean, you try trusting someone in a galaxy against you huh? It takes him a while to trust you, and then some extra time to warm up on loving you. You probably won't even notice when he starts liking you because at most he'll probably not be so harsh with you. Maybe he'll use less insults, or won't glare so much at you, but he will definitely hide it behind some 'you are the only one who has not tested my ire' type shit. I mean he's so emotionally constipated he probably won't even know what he's feeling when he's around you and will try to beat his feelings out of his system by training or meditating. SO I take a pinch of my previous statement back. I have a feeling this guy is hostile (or at least passive aggressive) to everyone at first no matter what the circumstance. So, Enemies to lovers slow burn king. (which is Ironic because I am not good at slow burn skjhdlskj) When he FINALLY gets over his emotional constipation and gets a brick to the face with realization that he is crushing and crushing HARD, he is going to slowly start courting you. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry but he's a total fucking loser when it comes to romance and it shows. Like his anger may fuel up around you again because he doesn't know how to talk to you, what to talk to you about, or how to get closer to you without seeming weak or you know...anything like that. But like, the efforts he does make are so pathetically obvious and strangely out of character for him (and objectively, it's kind of cute watching him stumble over himself) you can't help but be swayed by his...'seduction tactics.' But YOU. You have to be the one to ask him on a date. Because he's just. He's too prideful okay? Stooping to such LOWS like...Affection. He grows out of that, don't worry. But like when you do ask him he's fucking floored. Almost literally. He has to keep himself calm and not trip over his word's and he's like "okay, let me choose an adequate location for us to be alone so that it doesn't seem like I'm showing any kind of weakness" Or something along those lines. He might accidentally insult you but please be patient he is legit trying his best. Outside of that when you finally have him wifed up (/hj) he is still awkward, new to this but trying his best. Don't expect him to be affectionate anywhere outside of his bedroom until he's comfortable with showing off you or this 'new side' to anyone. It doesn't mean he spends no time with you otherwise, it means his affections will be reserved to hushed whispers and small favors. Perhaps this manifests through seeking you out in the corridors, or providing you with little gifts that would appear meaningless to anybody else. It may take a while for his affections to become grander in the open, but one day it would happen. Unless you tried to force it out of him before he was ready then you're probably gone. He would make a laughing stock out of anyone who claimed affections for another were foolish and made him weak. NO. Hell no. He's soft for you but he can still kick ass. Obviously. I'm sure he would be rather possessive, I just know he would fear losing you. He absolutely uses that as a reason to usually be touching you in some way. Pinky fingers linked, his foot nudging yours, etc. He doesn't want to wake up and find you gone, find that all of this was for naught and dreams and peace really don't exist for him. He would spend as much time as he could learning everything about you. He would be so fucking devoted to you it would make your head spin. He'd know your favorite color, flower, time of day, place to be, things to eat, and he'd keep everything you didn't like away from you. To the best of his ability at least.

Went a little hard with this one, stuffed it full with as many words as I could lol. Hope you enjoyed. Spice may be available later upon request, here's the first part.

Until next time!

Ciao~ -Enigma

[liuisi]

Your little story snippet got me curious, so if you don’t mind me asking: who are Mariam and Olivia? :0 I’m so so intrigued!!

!!!!!!! you dont know how much this means 2 me i am always thinking about these guys forever and ever....

okay SO. mariam and olivia (and eli, though he appears only a bit in the snippet) r my silly little ocs (that are MAYBE adapted from a dsmp fic. shhhhhhhh they are so much more 2 me now).

mariam and eli are brother and sister and olivia is like... a really close childhood friend, pretty much a sister at this point. their story as I've developped it in my mind so far is: (under read more cause this got LONG)

they live in the same small-ish town and olivia is over at their house a LOT... like pretty much living with them, bc [nebulous part of the story that i have yet to develop but that basically keeps her dad away a lot]

at some point though that [nebulous event] comes to an end and olivia starts seeing them less and less bc frankly. her dad is not a Good Man (and all the implications that come with that)

the snippet i posted happens a few years later when olivia shows up at their door bc its the place she feels the safest in, yk?

they sort some legal stuff out, olivia starts living with them For Real

and THEN there's a whole arc that happens when she leaves 2 go to uni but thats whole other story LMAO

but yeah that's the basic idea!! now for characterization olivia is the Definition of repression. she LOVES repression its her favourite hobby... she's the type that can talk a lot and make you feel like she's not able to keep a secret until you realize that 4 all she talks she doesn't really Say Anything About Herself. she's also the type that convinces herself that since she Understands, objectively, what she's gone through and that it was wrong, she doesn't have to actually deal with it bc like. it happened. it was bad. she got out. what's more to say? surely this will have no impact on her psyche [VERY LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER]. (a huge part of the story after she gets to uni is about how she's terrified of people thinking that what happened was her fault to the point of distancing herself from everyone who knows about it)

mariam.... mariam is so special 2 me always... she's the oldest, the "adult" and she cares about these kids SO MUCH... it's maybe not obvious outwardly bc she's not really the demonstrative kind but she shows it in her own way. her instinct is always to be very.... business-like with it? not quite the word but basically she does her gestures quietly and without fanfare and then you find out about it like 3 weeks later and you're like oh...... she really does care a lot. but also worth mentionning she is more mature so she does know that people have different needs when it comes to knowing that they're loved so with eli she does make an effort to be more Obvious with it. she's also SO scared all the time... she's terrified that something will happen to them always but she doesn't show it because she doesn't want to freak them out :(

eli.. i know you didn't ask about him but i still will answer because hes just so perfect 2 me... he's the youngest (in the snippet i would say he's 13? maybe? haven't figured out timeline yet). he feels everything so strongly all the time he is FULL of emotions. him and olivia understand each other in a way where they dont really talk about it ever because they don't Need to (or so they think. ahem). he's also a mischevious little guy.. loves exploring and disappearing for hours at a time and almost giving mariam a heart attack. he loves so strongly it physically hurts sometimes ... my little guy :(

anyways heres another snippet for u..... in thanks

[struggle-but-its-all-ocean-floor]

TXT minisode 3: Tomorrow review

Imo, their first minisode is excellent and one of my favorite TXT albums, but lately their albums are only mediocre - the tts are catchy and solid, but the bsides are generic and lack TXT's initial charm.

I'll See You There Tomorrow - the choreo is fun and 100% something BTS would do. The track is nice and light, albeit a bit repetitive; vocals sound decent, but some of the low notes are unpleasant (eg. Soobin's). TXT are not strong vocalists and I find myself noticing that more and more. 7.5/10

Deja Vu - this track grew on me a lot. It's catchy and the choreo is good (very early BTS coded). I used to love Taehyun's voice, but sadly I think it sounds strained and kind of whiny now. He reminds me a lot of Jungkook though, especially lately (re: his stage presence and dancing). Imo Taehyun suits the center position pretty well, and they're doing well giving him some of Yeonjun's center time and dance breaks. Soobin and Beomgyu's voices are very limited and sound really weak imo. Yeonjun's voice sounds the best to me lately - he has the fullest, most natural sounding voice, as well as the most versatile and catchy. Hueningkai's tone has never been pleasant to me - it sounds kind of muffled, but he's a capable singer. 8/10

Miracle - kind of an annoying song tbh, very Avril Lavigne. There really isn't much to say about it. 6.5/10

The Killa (I Belong to You) - this track is incredibly cringy. Hearing Soobin say "I want you to take me now" in the most innocent and flat tone is... well... I get that people think he's hot, and that's surely why they put him on this track, but Soobin is just not an expressive and versatile idol, except perhaps in variety content (I don't know enough to say). Moreover, this song has such a generic beat - it's so flat and by the book -, it's not sexy at all. They also don't have the vocals for it. Yeonjun does well, but why on Earth did they choose Soobin for this? Because he's the most popular and sexualized along with Yeonjun? Beomgyu is much better at pulling off sexy than Soobin, and their singing is kind of on the same level. 6/10

Quarter Life - more rock stuff, I really want TXT to drop this sound. Kai fits this genre well, but this track is annoying and genetic. Taehyun sounds strained too, unfortunately. Beomgyu has pretty much no lines... 6/10

Anyway, this minisode is okay, but imo TXT are very much hindered by weak vocals and awkward stage presence (and beyond). They're very popular, but they could probably be more popular. Imo, TXT lack the IT factor in many ways. Besides lagging behind in vocals and stage presence, they're not that funny or charismatic. I think they fall behind pretty much all other BIg4 bgs (+ other popular bgs). I'm being "objective" about it, since TXT are certainly not going to read this, but I kind of question how Hybe put the group together. They're maybe the only boy group I found boring on Jonathan's show. I often don't know any of the groups who go on that show that well, or at all, but end up finding them charming and funny - like "Ah, I get it. This is why fans like them". Not TXT. Every time I watch interviews or variety stuff I think they seem stiff, don't interact very well with each other, and their humor is off. Imo, that's why Enhypen and SKZ surpass TXT in terms of overall popularity. SKZ are great performers who sing live and now how to engage fans. Enhypen are much better singers than TXT overall, with better stage presence and capacity to draw in fans.

Anyway, this is my opinion, but TXT are a group with the potential to be greater - perhaps with a different lineup, or if they learn to make their "weaknesses" less obvious. TXT's appeal to me was always unique and unconventional music, but now that they've lost that and sound a lot more like a "normal" kpop group, I think their limitations have grown more pronounced.

Surely, most people will disagree with me, but anyway... I'm fond of the boys as a person, but as a consumer less so.