#okay thats all enjoy my shitty edit

[m4yasnotthatcool]

S1!SAM WINCHESTER X F!READER♥︎

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

warnings: just fluff guys istg(thats it i think) (if u find anything else you think should be put as a warning pls tell me dawg); its written in all lower case as a stylistic choice; also reader is shorter than sam;

breif descripiton of contents: okay so *kicking my feet in the air and wearing sunglasses so people dont see what im looking at * (its sam edits that use the clip of him from s1 where we get a tummy peak) (yum) GIRL. imagine this (no its not a 2014 1d imagine, calm yourself down princess and get off of your knees suckers) youre sitting on his lap, one of his hands pressed flat against your lower abdomen, fingers lightly grazing the skin underneath your (actually his) shirt. his voice soft as hes reading to you from one of his mistery books, his back hunched over as hes resting his chin on your shoulder as his bangs lightly tickle the side of your face that they rest upon.

now that wasn't very breif, was it?- anywayyssssss

relationship not established but it's very obvious you guys are head over heels for eachother dont play w me rn;

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

(a/n) guys, this is more self indulgent more than anything if im being honest. i just wanted some feel good with my boy sammy wuth his painted puppy dog eyes and his cute boyish smile AGHHH i love him sm; anyway, enjoy :))) (or dont, idc) (if you tell me you dont like it im hoing to commit sewer slide)

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

with dean away to "run some errands", the cheap motel room was left solely to you and your best friend, sam. the both of you had ordered take out a couple of hours ago, the now empty boxes littering the tiny desk provided in the room.

after the two of you ate, you guys decided to watch some tv. the only problem? the shitty little tv didnt work. so what did you do? what brilliant sollution did the two of you come up with?

"ugh why is it not working!" you say frustrated as you punch the top of the tube tv. "well thats not surprising i guess, i mean look at the thing..." With one of his numerous books in one hand and his other arm resting its elbow on his knee to support his head, Sam murmurs to himself as he sits cross-legged on the bed the two of you have grown accustomed to sharing.

"wow, you, sammy my boy, are completely destroyed by these news, arent you?" he feels his cheeks warm up ever so slightly at the use of the nickname, before tryibg ti regain his composure by responding with a snarky comment of his own "yes, mortified" he said as he reached to turn the page of hie book, but stopping for a second when his fingers reached the page. instead of turning to a new page, he neatly folded the corner of the pice of paper before closing the book. "i can land you one of my books if you wanna read anything" he said, reaching for the small stavk of the few books he had brought with him on the hunting trip, but you stopped him before he got to it. "nah im good, but thanks" you said giving him a warm smile. "oh, okay, but what are you going to do? go to bed or something?" "mmmm... you know what, i think i will." you paused as you lowered yourself right next to him, covering your lower half with a comforter the two of you found in the closet when you first entered the room. you closed your eyes, trying to drift off to sleep, but nothibg seemed to work. you shuffled and shuffled, shifting your position every 2 minutes or so. after about 20 minutes that to you felt like 20 hours, sam spoke: "do you need a bedtime story now or what?" he said and you could hear his signature boyish smirk in his tone. it was obviously supposed to be taken as a joke, but much to his surprise you said "yes, that would be awsome actually" you reached your hand blindly as your eyes were still closed and you tapped sams knee "okay you can start now".

and he did. while his voice alone didnt help you fall asleep, it at keast calmed you quite a bit to say the least. you previous shifting in search for the perfect position to sleep in had been long forgotten as sam read to you. sometimes he would pause to explain certain paragraphs before moving on to reading from the book once again, but if you were being honest you were not sure when the reading woult resign and the comments regarding the events of the book would flod your senses, but you didnt mind.

after some time, he asked you in a shushed tone if you fell asleep, seeing as your breathing had stabilized and softened. on the contrary tough, you were very much awake, so you responded to his question mocking tone he used. "yea, im very much asleep right now, thank you for asking" .

he smiled as he lightly smacked your shoulderblade. you scoffed in fake annoyance as you rolled out of bed, heading for the fridge to get some cold water out.

opening the fridge door you asked him "you want some water too?"

"no, im good. but thanks tough!" he flashed you a quick smile.

getting the bottle out, you returned to your side of the bed before opening the water. what you didnt know was that it was sparkling water, and it exploded all ober you and your side of the bed when you tried to take a drink.

sam couldnt control himself, so the first thing your now wet self heard was him snorting, trying not to full on laugh.

you sighed loudly before closing the remaining contents of the bottle and sitting back up. "ugh, oh shit" you said as you glanced at the sheets on your side of the bed. "im sorry, fuck" "yea, yea, its fine, dont worru about it" he said tough his mind focused on something far more important: your now wet shirt clinging to your body, showning off the shape he had came to love so much but could only feel whenever the two of you hugged.

he quietly observed you desperetly look for something, until, he realized what he was doing, so he shamefully looked away, all of a sudden being very interested in the color of the walls surrounding the two of you.

"sam, have you seen my stuff?" "huh? oh... yea, i think its in the car. do you want me to go get it for you?" he asked you, forgeting for a moment his brothers usual antics of taking the car and speeding off intro the night. "but didn't dean take it?-" "oh shit you're right..." he mumbled, sitting (his goofy ahh) back down. "what did you need?" he asked you grabbing his duffle bag to look for something to substitute your missing item. "a dry shirt I guess, my shorts aren't that wet" you said signaling to the wetness of the long sleeve top you were wearing in comparison to the slight dampness of your pajama bottoms. he gave you a quick nod before briefly looking for something to give you. he landed on his purple t shirt that had an also freakishly purple dog printed on it which you accepted gratefully.

you left the room for a minute, going to the bathroom where you changed your top.

the way his clothes swallowed you was just another reminder of the already obvious size difference between the two of you, the shirt almost covering your shorts entirely with how long it was on you. you sighed in content as you walked out, wet shirt in hand as you reach one of the two chairs by the desk. you used it to hang the pice of clothing up to dry before sitting on the other chair.

sam raised a curious eyebrow at you before asking "what do you think you're doing?" you looked at him confused before he patted the bed, motioning for you to come sit with him. "sam, my side is like, soaking wet right now. I gotta wait for it to dry."

"who said anything about your side of the bed? come on we can share mine." His eyes met yours expectantly and he smiled kindly. you slowly got up and sat next to him, trying to take up as little space as you possibly could, to which sam grabbed your arm and pulled you to stay on top of him instead of on the almost non existent space left.

your breath hitched the second your head came in contact with his chest, one of his arms holding you in place as the other one still held the book he had been reading to you earlier. "you wanna read it with me or do you want me to read it to you?" "or, a 3rd option would be you shut up" you smiled into his chest. God, why does he have to smell so good? you asked yourself before realising what had just ran trough your head. "but, I guess the first option sounds good." unscebted soap and woods, thats the best way to describe the way he smelled at that moment. a warm woody musk leading you into him to explore his warmth. and with that his grip on your waist loosens, letting you turn around but not fully allowing you to escape his grasp.

His hand was flat on your lower abdomen, playing ever so slightly with the tie of your shorts, which you had tied into a loose bow, as you turned to face the book. his head rested on your left shoulder, his bangs touching your face, tickling you slightly making you giggle under your breath. his periodic breath fanned on your shoulder, and his body emitting such comfortable warmth, you could feel yourself finally getting tired. your body relaxed against his own, something he welcomed quickly, letting you rest your head on his chest and you finally drifted off to sleep.

---------------------------------------------------------

(a/n) guys I'm deeply aware this is bad asf and idek why I still posted it tbh

anyway, I'm sorry it's so short

It's the 2nd oneshot I wrote after almost a year of giving up (and even then I had like 2 disc posted to my name) so please excuse how shitty it was

Anyway, lly byeeee

[fartquen12]

(IM BACK) yandere greedler x female reader.

HEY GUYZ IM BACK AFTER A FEW MONTHS.... HOPE YALL MISSED ME UWU.... JUST.. ENJOY THIS BEAUTIFUL PIECE OF FART

TRIGGER WARNINGS: onceler being MY version of onceler, Major character death, mentions of rape/non-con, Farts, poop, dookie,eating disorders, bulimia, body dysmorphia (vice versa jhonnythin style yk what i mean) will defenitly offend you if your a mini kyle or mini ravi.

You were here... you finally made it to the shitty place with all the trees you couldnt stop laughing at how hobo this town was... You were.. happy i guess when you saw this weird GUY.. uh wtf.. you thought to your self.

you walked over to him who was fighting this little orange guy..

“No shutu-”

“AHEM.. WHO ARE YOU?”

The fatass dude stared at you for a long time before making a run for it to his shitty houuse...

“um..” you said

“BRO WHO THE FUCK ARE YOY?” the lorax asked..

you just ran to your house.. that was real. And went to bed.

your was awoken by this weird sound... *scratch* you look over and see some creep looking at you through the window.. 

“OH HELL NAH” you said as you slammed the blinds shut. You coudnt make out who that creep was.. but he continued watching you.. at night.

“GURRRR” you said as a attempted to open my laxative bottle. 

*scratch-*

“WHA- DUDAAAA!” you yelled slamming the blinds shut again.

You began making it a habit to keep the door shut and locked and the windows closed.. no matter what.

One day you were staring at yourself in the mirror while laying upside down with your head hanging off the bed. You were bored and were looking around the room. since it was 12:00pm it would be safe too go outside.. but were you gonna risk it..? no. Ever since the creep stole your laxatives while you were gone and put a fan in your bathroom you havent felt safe.. You stared at the doorframe.. when you noticed something... rather... strange. You stood up on the bed to get a better look and to be able to reach it... IT WAS A MINI CAMERA. your jaw dropped and apparently so did your asshole because in that moment a huge flow of dirhea came out of your ass in fear. you ran to the toilet and threw the camera in before shitting all over it. While you shit you thought about everything that camera saw... Every time you scratched your butt.. every time you twerked.. every time you replayed that one abigail blyg and nick furcillo edit... AND THAT ONE TIME YOU CRIED TO “taco farts by mr farts and the band” WTFFF.

You began to cry. as you ran to your bed and slept all day. You woke up at 2:00am to check your house for any other cameras..

*scratch scratch*

“NO! NOOO!.. Listen.. please dont hurt me! stop stealing my laxatives and we can all be friends..”

*silence*

You sighed and ran to the bathroom and cried on the toilet as you ate takis and laxatives and shat like crazy. 

“why me!?!?!”

you began scratching your ass s you fell asleep on the toilet.

Next day you finally went out to town to get groceries.. you kept seeing this guy called the.. onceler? He was pretty nice and you felt bad for him about the whole thneed thing. it was a good idea to you but no one else like em i guess. 

“Hey! Onceler how are you?” you said attemting to make conversation.

“good.. what about you..?”

“Uhh... ive been okay..? There is this creep who keeps recording me tough i cant tell who though..?”

“heheheeee..”

“what?”

“check your bathroom... y/n” he said smiling.

You ran home as fast as possible slamming and locking your door and seeing it..

Yes. He was the “creep” you thought as you saw the camera in the bathroom you had.

“OH SICK!” you yelled before ripping it down. You heard something knock at your doorloudly and when you didnt answer..there was a knock.. at your bedroom door from inside the house.

You began to panic as you jumped and hid under the bed slamming a hand over your mouth to mask the sound of coughing from the battle with the toilet a minute ago. 

Thats when the onceler came int your room and grabbed you straight up from out under the bed and forced a mask over your face  with a gas to make you sleep. 

You woke up in a dark room. with this weird guy.. even though he had kidnapped you.. even though he had ruined your life.. and he raped you that one time... you liked him.. in a weird way. AFter weeks of treating him like a boyfriend and finding out about his factory and what not. He let you have free access to the house when he left for work. what he didnt know... is that he was going to regret that.. 

You saw his car leave and when you did you bolted for the toilet. You began throwing up last nights dinner the dinner before that the one before that and.. the one before that.

You had gotten super skinny... what you didnt know was that the onceler was coming home early.

“oh god *cough cough*” y/n said hovered over the toilet.

“I’m home! Ho-”

oh shit.

HE stared at you before running into the bathroom. you were excited for him to see you. you knew he was going to hug and kiss yo-

“GET THE FUCK OUT OFF MY WAYYYYAAA!” he yelled shoving your head away from the toilet and pulling his pants down to shit. But when you continued trying to throw up he got really mad.. with poop dripping down his legs he stood up and began to beat the everloving shit out of you. 

“DONT *smack* BOTHER *smack* ME *smack* ON *smack* THE *smack* TOILETTTT *smack smack smack*!!!” he said as he began to break every single bone in your body.. you decided to go into the light where you saw turds with halos on their heads.. Guess moving to that hobo town wasnt so funny after all..

THE END

[ajminyard3]

EYEWITNESS WEEK - day one - a character

did it make things better?

no, but it made me forget how bad things were.

[fantrolloftheday]

GREETINGS AND SALUTATIONS TUMBLR

I (@nnugatoryextravagance) used to run a twitter account under the same name as this blog, but now I refuse to use that horrific bird app for the sake of my health, BUT also really missed doing this, So now here we are

There is technically speaking only one blog admin (Me, Sludge!) but I am the host of a multiple system, so others might post as well (we will use emojis to identify ourselves, mine is 💊) ((please be respectful, we will not engage with syscourse so dont bother))

[Also I know the name implies this is daily, but honestly dont hold your breath on that.]

ANYWAY YEAH onto the rules and other stuff

(keep reading)

Prepare necessary info about your Fantroll (Minimum info is at least Name, one SAFE FOR WORK photo, gender and/or pronouns [either one or both], caste, and sign)

Optional info is Age, Classpect, Lusus, Sign (if its not from the Extended Zodiac), and whatever else you'd like to add, (thanks to being freed from twitter's character limit, I encourage you to tell me as much as you want about them!)

Meme/Shitpost characters are totally okay! as long as they meet the minimum req above and are a troll I dont care! On the og account I literally posted an edit of the fucking Scout from tf2 as a Rustblood

We will OCCASIONALLY do little silly events that may change some of these rules, however wait for me to announce those dont just jump in early that'll get annoying

The admin(s) running this blog is/are bodily 16 years old, sending anything nsfw will be 100% ignored. [Characters from more mature source material ARE allowed however, but again, do not send directly send me images of said mature content]

If you did not make the character PLEEASE tell me where its from or who did make them. (on or off site I don't care), the whole reason I even started this originally was to share the work of others in this fandom I love to more people. Not telling me who made the character defeats the whole purpose [Similar applies if you include art of the character NOT drawn by you please just give credit to people I beg of you]

We understand that Homestuck as a whole is a very... Interesting series thats made VERY fucking poor choices, but any sort of intolerance or shitty behavior will NOT be tolerated here. We have Zero Affiliation with Hussie nor do we endorse their past behavior or very questionable writing decisions, any unfounded accusations of such towards me or anyone else over enjoying the comic will be thrown straight in the bin, blow me. (If there are any ACTUAL issues however, please respectfully send a pm about it, Random shit in the askbox will likely be either ignored or buried)

HOW TO SUBMIT

Ironically, I'm not doing this through tumblr's built in post submissions feature. But this is because I honestly still don't know how the damn thing works yet despite being on this site so long, So submissions will be taken through our inbox or PMs.

(Not to sound rude but I'd really much prefer to not be forced to message back about needing more info, PLEASE PLEASE include it the first time around or it'll take so much longer for yours to be posted (if at all) because I have a very hard time talking to internet strangers due to reasons I'm not obligated to tell you)

[Bear in mind though Anon is currently OFF, although this may change eventually]

[aadyeah]

this is an announcement because yo girl just cant stop giving PSAs

okay so this one is about desi tumblr.

I know there are desi blogs out there who feel excluded and ignored, so this one is for them (and some others dw i'll discuss about them later in this post)

There are things everyone needs to know.

what desi means.

who's desi and who's not

So first of all, by the basic definition of desi we mean south-asian. Indians, Pakistanis, Sri Lankans, Nepalis, and such. 

Desi is a culture and if you fall in these countries, youre desi. I know some people don't want to associate with the desi title because of reasons which make total sense and thats perfectly fine. No one is forcing you to pick up the label. Do whatever makes you comfy. 

▪︎▪︎▪︎

[Very important note: you dont have to like mainstream media to be us. We are a culture, and its not bound by the languages we speak, the food we eat, and other things we do. You dont have to take part in everyday discourses to be a desi blog. This is super fucking important and I hope everyone, and i mean everyone, understands this.]

I, as a desi, think I'm inclusive, and I love when I interact with new blogs. I hope people understand this and know that I would accept them as they are. Damn, siblings, your language and the things you like might be different but that doesnt mean you're any less desi.

▪︎▪︎▪︎

Some more very important things with personal examples:

Hindi is not the only language. You don't have to be a hindi speaker to be included. (three of my fave frens here (rey, billu and clove/alagar/strudel) cant speak hindi fluently i love them as much because a language doesnt bind us)

Indian-themed-things are not the only things. I know this happens and I want to make this point very clear. (I have two pakistani (noor and hazel) and a Sri Lankan (uvi) sister here and i love interacting with them.)

A lot of discourses are political and it's okay if you dont want to interact or if you dont relate to them. Most of us are minors and we aren't  conditioned to have opinions all the time. (no personal examples here, but I mean this.)

▪︎▪︎▪︎

Personal note 1: please send an ask if you want me to edit/add a point. (I dont respond to dms as quickly and I dont want to ignore this) 

▪︎▪︎▪︎

Another very important thing: 

I have heard about the existence of a fabled inner-desi-circle, and apparently me and my close mutuals are a part of it. And some people have been passive agressive to me about it. This has been happening for quite a while so I thought I should talk about it.

I want to make this very clear, and I am very sorry if I sound offensive. 

We are friends and we are accepting people. I mean this very seriously, by the way. Do not throw shade on us just because we are friends and we exist. 

There is no such circle, and trust me when I say I would be lost without them. Most of us are friendless irl, and it feels really shitty when someone is being shady because we show our affection here through posts and inside jokes. Let people exist. 

And if you ever felt excluded because of us, I am really fucking sorry. We didn't think that telling our friends that we love them, or making a personal reference would hurt you. I am sorry.

▪︎▪︎▪︎

personal note 2: I am very sorry if I have ever made anyone on desi tumblr feel excluded, i didnt mean it. (I swear to god I am not being sarcastic, I really am sorry. I am usually not being sincere, but I am being very sincere here.)

▪︎▪︎▪︎

Personal note 3: the others and I are interactive people, trust me. I sure as fuck am. You could totally send an interactive ask, and we would sure as fuck reply. Please dont assume you're not one of us. 

▪︎▪︎▪︎

I know a ton of desi peeps here, and all of them are lovely people.

So once again, repeat after me:

It's okay if you're NRI.

It's okay if you dont speak hindi

It's okay if you dont relate to discourses

It's okay if you're new and still figuring things out

It's okay and you're desi enough.

You're still a desi disaster 

Done!

▪︎▪︎▪︎

Lastly, 

This is the desi tumblr and I hope you enjoy your stay!

A fuckton of love,

Aadya, the certified babie sis

[emiefaunwrites]

Heyyy Emie!! I know this isn’t an hc request, but I’m a little curious to know what are some of your favorite hcs that you’ve written? Or if you don’t really have favorites, what are some of the headcanons that you’ve enjoyed writing the most?

Heyyy!

Oooh I have a couple other asks outstanding but this was too interesting to ignore! Thank you for asking!

So it really depends on what counts as a favourite. There's headcanons I've found really funny and fun to write. There's also those that I find really sad or sweet. I can't really differentiate which ones would count as my absolute favourites so I'll just put a list (quite long probably haha) and why I enjoy it. Hope thats okay?

So the funny ones I like these:

Leon's Rapping Career - this was an INCREDIBLE ask and it made my brain go down so many rabbit holes. I can just picture poor Taka doing his best to listen to the shitty rapping and trying to learn it. I found it so fun!

First Time Drunk (Taka Edition) and Stag Do's - I mean. Drunk Taka is like my favourite. I totally HC him as being hella flirty drunk and very forward. And that's always fun to write. I keep trying to find ways to bring more drunk Taka into my life but not found it yet haha!

Kissing Practice - this is another case of forward Taka controlling my brain. I LOVE the idea that the floodgates open following his first kiss and that he puts 100% into each kiss...and it being really freaking slobbery. Poor Taka...poor Leon...haha!

So then there's the sweet ones:

Valentine's Day Surprise for Taka - I mean how could I not love this? As a kid I NEVER got a Valentine's Day card and I was called all the same things Taka calls himself. So I suppose I was channeling my own wishes through this for our best boy.

The Proposal - I MEAN! ITS THE PROPOSAL! Enough said really...but I loved the idea of a perfectly planned proposal just feeling wrong in the moment and the actual proposal just happening naturally. So yeah. This was lovely to write.

Wedding Day - I MEEEEAN! ITS THEIR WEDDING! Very little to explain about this apart from it was wonderful to remember a wedding again and relive the emotions I felt.

Piano Recital (Kei Edition) - I think this could genuinely be a legit favourite. I just can see it play in my head and think about it every time I listen to the song. And yeah. I just fucking love this one. So so much.

And finally there's the sad/angsty ones:

Night Terrors - so this is a favourite of mine since it's something I'll be incorporating into my main fic. And it's become such an integral part to Leon in both this and Broken Arrow. So this really hits me in the feels.

Leon's First Crush - this is another thing that hits me hard because of my main fic. A different variant of this is going into Broken Arrow and explains a lot of things about how I feel Leon became the boy he presents himself as outwardly. So this is definitely a big one for me.

OCD - this slightly links to my main fic but only slightly. I've always thought of numbers and patterns meaning a lot to Taka and once I was asked I kind of felt it be a big part of Taka. I've been thinking of maybe doing a few more posts on his OCD at some point but I'm hanging on until I'm either asked or it feels right.

Close Call (Takaaki Edition) - Ah this just hit me in the feels. I HC Takaaki as a great dad and so to imagine Taka hurting so bad because of this close call was really sad. It's also where I started thinking how his OCD would flare up in stress so multiple reasons for this.

I hope this was insightful? I'm loving this little world that you and my followers have helped me create and I hope I'll be able to keep it going!

[gojosattoru]

Lmao who tf would think that you, upon receiving criticism for something about your blog having a reaction to it, is guilt tripping?? Thats. Thats human emotion my guy. Its called 'oh no did I mess up?' Feeling!!! I understand why some people would be annoyed by the reblogs (if they're on Tumblr for ungodly amounts per day) but I dont mind them! A lot of times I end up only seeing new edits bc of the reblogs because im usually too busy to be scrolling for the entire day. So don't worry about them. That's one or two peoples opinions - and you tag your self reblogs so if they don't want to see them they can block that tag and be done instead of going after you for trying to push the reach of your art. ❤ we know how tumblr's shitty algorithms work. We know content creators often have to report in order to get reach to all of their followers. You're no different and we'll support you.

It’s alright hon, I for one didn’t have to say that but with all these stuff happening on tumblr I just feel like to go away... It’s been unhealthy for me and for you guys I’m deeply sorry for everything I said, I seriously didn’t had any reason to be like this but I’m just feeling tired... I’m not feeling well right now tbh and I will get a lil rest... I just don’t want to be bad for anyone and with all this situation never tho it would go to this... I just want everyone to be okay and enjoy my blogging life like always have.. I’m deeply sorry for everyone... I don’t want to be bitch for anyone and I feel like I failed you all with my stupid behavior... I’m really sorry guys! Thank you for the support and for being always so nice to me *hugs* I really want eveyone to enjoy my blog and my works and not to bring you guys unpleasant environment... 

[bonjourstristesse]

soft!love headcanons: javi and steve edition!

soft boy vibes with our favourite dea babes written on the notes in my phone. no one asked: this was completely unprovoked but you’ve gotta start somewhere. i’ve started writing both of these into full length one shots, but idk when they’ll be finished bc my brain is on overdrive atm. let’s see where the vibes take us anyway! I've been inspired to start writing for these two by many wonderful writers on here. you’re all so talented, i am always in awe. here we go, enjoy my soft boy fantasies with hints of angst bc thats my jam! feel free to drop in and reveal your own soft boy vibes for these babes <3

reader x soft!javi: you’re his best friend who lives in Columbia too. you met each other at the embassy. javi loves you even if he doesn’t want to admit it. you kind of know he loves you and know he won’t admit it. you’re not gonna force him to either, knowing he likes to fuck around with other women, no strings attached. you’re not naive enough to think you can change him. you’d never want to. and you’ll always put your job first anyway because baby, you’re a career woman and worked damn hard for it too! but anyway, javi is a feminist. he respects women. he loves women. he thinks women are the fucking coolest. he hypes you up, because compliments are his forte! no ones ever gonna be a sexist pig to you, no fucking way, not on his watch. he’s soft af with you specifically. he tries to hide it. steve likes to tease him about it, notices javi that watches you out the corner of his eye. you works in the embassy too, on the tech side. you translate because you’re fluent in four languages and you’re smart as fuck! you listens into calls, transmissions, tryna smoke out the narcos from the inside. you pass the info to the guys when you find it. you’re a call away. you’re always just a call away for him. in every aspect of his life. you find out javi has been working with los pépés. your job is to listen, you’re always listening. you’re kind of disappointed in him, mostly just scared for him. you know what it would mean if higher ups found out— he’d be on a plane home faster than you could say us of a. but home is where the heart is and javi knows where his is. so he promises to be careful, without admitting anything else. because he loves you and knows he can’t say it out loud so he has to say other things instead. other things that he hopes you’ll understand. because maybe when it’s all over, maybe when you part ways in your careers, maybe then can he relax for a moment, take his eye off the ball and just look at you instead. soft skin, soft eyes, soft smile. like the honey in tea you love so much. like sweet lemon icing on your favourite cake. like the pretty little summer dresses you wear on your nights off that he loves so fucking much. he’ll be able to focus completely on you instead. he can be a patient man when he wants to be, for you. so he’ll wait for that moment. he hopes you’ll wait for that moment too. 

reader x soft!steve: you are his wife. steve loves you more than life itself. it scares him how much. steve would die for you. steve would kill for you. he’s terrified he’s going to lose you— he actually nearly does when you reveal you wants to leave columbia. you’re struggling and feel isolated. you’ve tried for weeks to let him know how you really feel, how much the anxiety is eating you away. you can’t just sit and wait by the phone all day, stay up all night waiting for him to come home. so you call him; one day, your packed bag at your feet, the pay phone against your ear and you’re crying. i’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry, you say. he’s begging you to wait for him to get there, please baby, please just wait for a second. he stops you at the airport— he isn’t too late. he begs you to stay, in person this time. literally on his knees, begs. people are staring and he really does not care. steve really fucking loves you, okay? he promises to be better. to talk to you, to confide in you like he used to. to come home at a reasonable hour, to start doing paperwork from the comfort of your apartment with cups of coffee and your laugh, instead of the inside of a shitty office drinking whiskey and chain smoking to take the edge off. but you walk away, white knuckles clutching you overhaul bag, eyes red and exhausted to the bone. he’s devastated. he thinks he can feel his heart physically break in his chest. this is what it fucking feels like, he thinks, to lose everything. to the airport bar he goes. he’s drunk. he can feel himself getting angry. at himself, at his job and the sacrifices he’s made, thinking is it really worth it. but the tears are gonna come fast any moment. so he gets up to leave. turns around. and there you are; as beautiful and sweet as the day he met you. you didn’t get on the plane! it’s a ross and rachel moment baby! he breaks the fuck down in the middle of the airport bar. he’s never cried in a place that public in his life. the big bad DEA, all broad shoulders and strong voice and stern eyes— now he’s soft and crying because his wife didn’t leave, you didn’t leave him, alone, you’re right there. and you’re crying too. he drops to his knees clutching your body to him, like you’ll disappear, with his forehead to your chest. you whisper you’re sorry. he’s sorry too. let’s go home, you say. you both understand suddenly the feeling of what it would be like to really lose each other. okay baby, okay, he says. separation really isn’t an option when your souls feel tethered to one another. so you’ll both try and do better this time. 

[bladekindeyewear]

HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-08-06

♪ HS2 HS2 is baaaaack ♪

♪ HS2bloggin here we gooooo ♪

♪ Structural changes on their team but I don’t caaaaare ♪

♪ Already resooolved myself that its NOOOT gonna beee as good ♪ with inattentiveness to details characters like Terezi forgetting-what-they-used-to-know and an obsession with dwelling on traaageeeDEEE without relief-or-considering how weee’d feeeeeeel~ ♪♪♪ --so just gonna enjoy-what-i-caaaaaan about iiit~ ♪♪♪

Okay time for bankruptcy

> CHAPTER 11. History's Most Notorious Haters

Let’s see how effectively my perky new lowered-expectations attitude lets me enjoy this comic  *click*

wut

Oh.  so is this Dave drawing comics about current events or Regular Calliope doing so for our very first lanky look at her presumably-grown-up-more cherub form

> Knight: Keep it real.

HOLY SHIT IT’S DAVEBOT AND ARADIA

so we just get to SEE them?!  just like that???  no buildup or anything?  :D

Okay I’m marking out a little that’s a good sign.  Also what a nerdy cop-out to turn the roboteyes into glasses that’s barely passable which is perfect, the rest of his outfit looks pretty cool tho

DAVEBOT: and thats reason four hundred nineteen why despite my mans many accomplishments i will never acknowledge big skateboardings contrived message that tony hawk is the quintessential skater of our generation ARADIA: o_o DAVEBOT: not in these trying times

Good to see Ultimate Dave is being true to form with regards to the core of his personality

DAVEBOT: beep boop ARADIA: i have told you several times that i was a robot before and i know for a fact you dont have to say beep boop DAVEBOT: hm that sounds fake does not compute ARADIA: david DAVEBOT: mom

I was with this conversation until the last two lines what the fuck

(I’m reading into it aren’t I, Aradia was trying to be atypically proper -- even though she wouldn’t have the frame of reference to know without being specifically told that “Dave” was considered nickname shorthand for the human name David, and thus if she DID know there’s no reason she’d use it except to troll him -- and Dave’s just mocking her response.  Without any shame about his continued weirdness of calling people Mom, and by without any shame I mean he made the choice EXPLICITLY to intentionally evoke the awkwardness.  Wow I got a lot out of two lines.)

(Oh, also alt!Callie’s true Jade-body incarnation here probably prompted her to start using “David” by example.  There, various mysteries solved via a pile of assumptions probably to be disproven in the next couple lines I read.)

The Knight and the Maid stare at each other briefly, having exchanged enough meaningful glances over their time together to know when to drop it.

Would Time players have an easier time gelling this way, like this particular smoothness?  Dropping it just before it gets weird or excessively irritating?

(Overclasspecting)

ARADIA: i think we have exchanged enough meaningful glances over our time together to know when to drop this DAVEBOT: what i enjoy about our conversations is that you just say things like that

OKAY I SNRK’D AT THAT.  That was funny.

Initially.  And now I’m concerned whether Aradia is being controlled by the narrative-speak, or whether they’re both just humorously referencing the meta-text they can both see, or--

ARADIA: oh is that what you enjoy ARADIA: well we are both an infinite number of years old living countless lifetimes at once but thats no reason to waste any of our...

WHAT??!?  She’s an Ultimate Self too?!?

Um, okay!  Yeah!  So they’re BOTH just riffing on the narrative then.  But... why would Dave need a robot body to accommodate his Ultimate Psyche without getting sick but Rose not need it?  I can understand Dirk not needing it because the merging of the full breadth of his multiversal individuality gels well with him being a God of the aspect governing the power of his multiversal individuality, but Aradia?

Were the robot bodies not necessary after all, and the sickness Rose suffered and Obama thought Dave would have suffered some sort of ruse?  Are there shenanigans afoot?  (Or are we going with the “troll biology is better” cop-out?)

She knows how this will play out, having undoubtedly tried this joke on her friend in some timeline or another. Their rapport reflects a unique combination of their matching aspects but greatly differing classes. One a passive but powerful servant to time, the other wielding the aspect like a honed blade.

WH

WHAT????

PASSIVE SERVANT OF THE ASPECT?!? WHAT THE FUCK

Okay if that means anything like it sounds like I guess my class chart is finally blown up, sure, they only waited (*checks last edit date*) SEVEN AND A HALF YEARS TO BLOW THAT GUESS UP, SURE

Wow.  Okay, I feel some obligation to jump to conclusions and say the whole class chart is wrong, but let me stay strapped in to see if “passive” is as literal as one would expect alt!Callie to mean, or it just means “an active class passive compared to other classes”.  And, serving the aspect?  Oh dammit, now people are gonna come at me advocating a Maid / Page dichotomy about actively serving the aspect versus allowing the aspect to be served... or Page / Maid even, jesus

I wish I had enough energy to have those chats anymore.  I’d rather hold on and see the whole ridiculous chart scheme they have in mind... which is definitely (and hopefully) the one Andrew really drew up at the time and not made up by the staff, even if it throws away plenty of my old work...  I’ll just stop thinking about it and keep reading.

...

--no, I don’t think I can just stop thinking about it yet.  Dammit, brain.

So um.  Maids serving their aspect.  There was a whole “Maids serve” thing going on throughout the whole plot of Homestuck, but despite how prevalent it was, I wrote it off as the story riffing on the classical definition of Maid when the actual stuff Maids accomplished was something different and more specific, just like Knights constantly got riffed on for chivalry and the like.  Furthermore, service seemed like a really shitty class definition, when class definitions are the verbs one uses to interact with reality through Aspects to change the way reality unfolds, and “serving” isn’t really an action that results in change, implying a distinct deficit of agency that I wouldn’t have viewed as fair.  (Especially since you originally think “meant to serve others” and not “meant to serve the aspect”, implying even LESS agency.)  Furthermore, MOST passive classes from their descriptions seem to have a propensity to act “as if by the will of the aspect”, so even with the nuance of “serving the aspect”, devoting an entire class verb to service would just step on the territory of other active/passive class pairs’ passive sides, right?

But... IF we were to take this for granted as what it SEEMS... then concentrating on that angle of “serving the aspect” implies a whole lot more agency than a service class might sound on its surface.  The definition fits with the story better once you contextualize all the Maid-y references to service around Jane, for instance, with the additional idea of “serving Life” by baking prolifically and creating more of its symbols in food and--

--fuck.  “Serving”, like serving to others.  Serving the aspect as its attendant AND serving it out to others that need it.  Maybe this still IS part of the Additive class pair!  Whoa.  :O

Okay okay so, what I/we thought before was:

Create/Add - Maid / Sylph

Destroy/Reduce - Prince / Bard

But “additive” really isn’t an elegant verb compared to the “Destroyer” classes, so... could it be the “Servants” and the “Destroyers”?  Like Maids cleaning up and healing the broken wreckage strewn through the halls by a bratty Prince’s tantrum???

It’d certainly be weird... and it’d CERTAINLY be a wild twist where I was partially wrong in some fascinating ways but not entirely off base?

One a passive but powerful servant to time, the other wielding the aspect like a honed blade.

And yet, I can’t bet on this being the situation yet; not at all.  First, it relies on the idea that alt!Callie’s explicit narrative here is slightly misleading, which would be a pretty extreme thing to commit to, even for a technical truth like “she was saying it was passive relative to other classes even though it’s technically “active””.  Second... it would mean that Muses are even more wildly defined than the previous insinuation of hers, that the Sylph -- what we thought was the passive additive class -- was not enough like a Muse compared to a Witch.  Muses not being that Additive?  I could grudgingly understand that, but Muses not being anything like passive Servants?!  That would be EXTREMELY weird!

So... there’s not a whole lot of chance that I’m not dramatically wrong somewhere about these classes!  In a way that throws the entire chart into disarray!

I’m... oddly excited?  Huh.

That’s a pretty nice surprise that I actually feel that way.

:)

(Don’t hit me up all at once to discuss this Classpect development over Discord, I’ll still need a few days without talking about Homestuck to recharge as usual.  Like... maybe wait and come at me as a group chat? So I’m not talking about the latest developments separately with everyone?  No that wouldn’t work, how about... guh I dunno, look my outlook’s a little more positive right now but dealing with Homestuck still takes emotional energy okay?)

Okay the rest of this page...

ARADIA: ... DAVEBOT: time then make a weird face ARADIA: ........ DAVEBOT: waste time DAVEBOT: time ARADIA:............. DAVEBOT: i experience all points of time simultaneously please just say time and make a weird face

This is true.

ARADIA: .................. DAVEBOT: cmon megido youre killing me clocks ticking ARADIA: ... ARADIA: time o_o

The Maid casts a furtive glance around the empty crew quarters, as though to search for someone more sympathetic to her bit.

ARADIA: tough crowd

Dorks.

> ==>

(Lazy fruit-throwing sword-training I won’t bother to screenshot but looks fun)

(I mean, really lazy looking, these people really don’t have Andrew’s knack for action composition that would make the same amount of gif-creation effort feel like a microcosm of the event they’re depicting, unfortunately.  Again, I don’t blame them; Andrew was just too good at it.)

DAVEBOT: ok heres one DAVEBOT: how old do you think you are ARADIA: emotionally? ARADIA: that is a pretty heavy topic DAVEBOT: you know damn well thats not what i meant ARADIA: you know I have been through a lot dave DAVEBOT: ok ARADIA: its just so kind of someone DAVEBOT: ok i get it ARADIA: to finally ask how i feel ARADIA: i am beside myself with emotions ARADIA: i want to open up DAVEBOT: jesus christ ARADIA: shall i open up about my past traumas to you ARADIA: would you enjoy that ARADIA: to think even a frog like me can work through their pain with a dear friend ARADIA: you have truly blessed me on this day dave strider

Is Aradia JUST trolling here or is her Ultimate Self grappling with a ton of real unresolved trauma too that she’s bullshitting around Dave-style?

DAVEBOT: times fun when youre having flies

Okay that’s a damned good frog pun.

Alright now Davebot’s rapping

DAVEBOT: lacking tact i stay stacked while i breach contract DAVEBOT: sacred vows disavowed got divorce fever DAVEBOT: i leave her DAVEBOT: dont look back dont perceive her ARADIA: do you want to talk about it :( DAVEBOT: about what ARADIA: would you say you are hung up on leaving your wife and friends behind

Goddamnit is DAVE’S ton of real unresolved trauma leaking into his raps unintentionally Dave-style??  I knew we had to address it when we cut to Davebot but how about LESS TRAGEDY IN THIS COMIC MAYBE

DAVEBOT: arent you even a little guilty about ditching your boyfriend ARADIA: what ARADIA: oh fuck

Wh

But she knew what she was doing when she did it she explicitly did it didn’t she?  Epilogues quote:

DAVEBOT: what about your boy DAVEBOT: eyepatches ARADIA: oh sollux is in one of his moods ARADIA: this was all getting to be a bit much for him ARADIA: if i go ill probably just cut him loose DAVEBOT: good move

And then they stepped through the sky hole more or less.  Did like, distracted Ultimate Aradia not realize exactly how long she was leaving Sollux for, ie forever?  Or did she “ascend” to Ultimate status later and hadn’t thought back to the full consequences of her actions within this timeline?  Or both?  From the looks of the link we’ll probably find out on the next pa--

--Wait.  Something else I just thought of, unrelated.

If Aradia is an Ultimate Self, that’s another coincidentally Ultimate version of someone hanging around that happens to be on the prospective list of Soul-Powered Jujus that might have their creation loops closed in the coming story.  Could those two things play into each other somehow?  Like instead of their souls getting stuffed into the items, their “Ultimateness” is?  Or as if that’s a necessary component, or...  no, I’m probably overthinking things.

> (Months in the past, but not many...)

Uh huh.  Is that flashing because he’s “watching” Aradia leave?  But I thought Aradia SAID she was leaving--

> (==>)

--and that black hole portal doesn’t look as cool as it sounded in the Epilogues.  But why was Aradia acting surprised, she said “I’ll probably just cut him loose” mere MOMENTS before entering the portal, did she mean “cut him loose” as in “I’m going to talk to him before leaving” and then just IMMEDIATELY forget that she didn’t say anything to him because she cared so little???

Wait.  Waaaait wait wait.  I think.  I think maybe I missed some subtext.  Lemme do some fuller quotes here:

ARADIA: oh sollux is in one of his moods ARADIA: this was all getting to be a bit much for him ARADIA: if i go ill probably just cut him loose DAVEBOT: good move

His gaze remains fixed on her. She blinks and looks away, unsure what to say next. He’s standing perfectly still, presumably waiting for her to say something. She met him... what was it? Once, twice before? She can’t remember. But she knows this is a very different Dave. Aside from the metal skin, he seems implacably confident. But then, people go through changes. She’s been through more than her share. She cocks an eyebrow, recalling her own stint with a metal body.

DAVEBOT: hey earth to whats your face ARADIA: oh ARADIA: its aradia

[...]

DAVEBOT: youre coming DAVEBOT: better decide quick i doubt that dank fuckin hell funnel is staying open for much longer ARADIA: yes i suppose so ARADIA: thats where all the action is right? DAVEBOT: all the action that matters yeah ARADIA: off we go then :) DAVEBOT: word

He holds out his hand. She looks around, and assumes he means for her to take it, so she does. She didn’t know someone could fly this fast. He nearly yanks her arm out of its socket. She considers reminding him that maybe this isn’t necessary, since she can fly too. But she doesn’t want to risk saying more embarrassing stuff around this outrageously cool dude. Besides, they’re through the wormhole before she can even finish the thought. It vanishes the moment they’ve crossed.

...this was a SHIPPING thing wasn’t it.  She’s impressed as hell with Striderbot, she SAID she’d cut things off with Sollux, and then she was so busy being swooped off her feet and into the portal that she forgot to actually say anything to him.  Is that what happened????

Ultimate Self Davebot x Ultimate Self Aradia.  Huh.  Didn’t see that coming.  (Though, again... they could make it SLIGHTLY clearer that this wasn’t just a blatant continuity error.)

Anyway, a rare-don’t-get-used-to-it [S] page...

> [S] (Gaze.)

...Okay that was kinda funny.

> (==>)

SOLLUX: h0w the fuck am i g0ing t0 get d0wn fr0m here.

HAH!  Okay, he’s taking it pretty well.  :)  --and THAT’s what she realized she forgot, giving him a flight down from the tower before leaving.

GOOD.  KEEP THINGS HUMOROUS EVEN WHEN LITERAL ABANDONMENT IS HAPPENING.  THAT’S the Homestuck I was missing.  :)  :)  :)

> Back to reality.

(Since the black hole is outside “canon” reality.)

Those are some cool poses-AHAH JESUS CHRIST ALT!JADE YOU LOOK ABSOLUTELY TERRIFYING XD

COULD YOU MAYBE HAVE CLEANED UP THE DRIED BLOOD AT SOME POINT OR IS SOME OF THAT FRESH FROM EATING MORE RAW MEAT

(Lord English’s blood leaving permanent timeless bloodstains would be a cool new thing to squeeze into canon i admit, i wouldn’t blame them for taking the excuse even if you could find small canon counterexamples I’m not sure of but dimly think might exist)

((ALSO SHE’S GONNA BE TINY NEXT TO THEM I DUNNO IF THAT MAKES IT MORE TERRIFYING OR LESS, PROBABLY MORE))

DAVEBOT: so youre telling me you dont even feel a little bad that you ditched him to be a weird death acolyte ARADIA: no i think he found my wiles both charming and irresistible DAVEBOT: not even an ounce of guilt or self doubt huh DAVEBOT: just like that DAVEBOT: no conversations about the greater good DAVEBOT: no revelations about your feelings

Is Aradia a jerk or weird?  Can’t decide.

ARADIA: do you often find your faith in yourself shaken like this or is it a new experience now that your mortal coil has been left behind DAVEBOT: what ARADIA: do you think now that all that is left of you is a literal ghost inside of a machine you are more or less likely to embrace finality DAVEBOT: oh dope more cult of one shit DAVEBOT: immortality changed you ARADIA: could it be that you are projecting your feelings onto my situation DAVEBOT: does not compute rose jr ARADIA: ... ARADIA: we dont have to talk about it DAVEBOT: thanks

Wow, I actually can’t follow this conversation at all.  Let me stare at it for a sec...

...okay, the first part she’s talking about DAVE’s faith in HIMself being shaken, not her own.  She’s not asking if he relates to HER experience, she’s contrasting it.

Then, asking if he’d be more likely to embrace death, or... Time?  Death.  Whether his self-worth has changed because he might view himself as “less real”, something Aradia doubtless struggled with when she was a robot who already had so many excuses to devalue herself at the time?  And then Dave talks about “cult of one” shit what does that even mean-...

OH.  Like she’s a death cult.  Gooot it.  Because Aradia’s of the position that death and ending should be celebrated, and Davebot understandably isn’t entirely bought in.  This is as hard to parse down as one would EXPECT conversations between two Ultimate Selves to be hard to parse down, unlike Rose and Dirk where their insane missions and glaring flaws shine bright enough through it all that you can follow their conversation flow easily.

JADE: They sit in each other's presence, the silence between them as meaningful as any words they could exchange. DAVEBOT: its always really cool to hear how meaningful my silences are DAVEBOT: especially while DAVEBOT: CALCULATING DAVEBOT: CALCULATING DAVEBOT: especially while i am attempting to experience them

Alt!Callie pulling a narrative-text AFTER a talk-identifier like “JADE:” is really hilarious in my opinion.

JADE: i do not need your approval. the story will continue how it must. DAVEBOT: beep boop hater detected ARADIA: wow is that true JADE: i am not a hater. DAVEBOT: classic hater line DAVEBOT: i know this because i am pouring through genuine actual quadrabytes of information on historys most notorious haters JADE: no, you aren’t.

Pffffff. This is pretty fun.

DAVEBOT: you are the exact opposite of a hater ARADIA: a liker DAVEBOT: ok DAVEBOT: perfect example your tolerance for whatever is going on with DAVEBOT: all this ARADIA: i think she looks quite lovely covered in the viscera of the all-powerful enemy she consumed ARADIA: floating lifelessly in our periphery ARADIA: observing our every action and noting its relevance :) DAVEBOT: uh huh thats what i mean

I was gonna note “liker” as additive for pointless classpect purposes, but really more quoting it just because I really enjoy this conversation.  I’m starting to get sold on the chemistry of these two a lot faster than I expected.

JADE: even though I understand that it must happen, i am growing frustrated with the direction of this conversation. DAVEBOT: do you want to talk about something else stinky JADE: what would you suggest?

How long has that dried fucking blood been on her

DAVEBOT: ok hear me out DAVEBOT: kanaya DAVEBOT: but like DAVEBOT: wearing huge jorts

That explains Homestuck’s twitter earlier

> Weeks in the future, relative to the original point of interest...

Wait wait which point of interest?  This time we were just viewing? *click*

I love what must be this shitty imagination-ship they’re using to cross the substrate of reality

> ==>

Whoaaaa.  So they DIDN’T stay in those outfits for long?  It showed them in a bunk bed earlier, it showed CallieJade still going around blood-covered afterward-- dammit, I’m having a hard time gauging exactly how much time is supposed to have passed between their entry into the black portal, their earlier conversation, and this moment.  And as likely as some are to call this poor scene composition, I can’t think it’s anything but intentional, given we’re dealing with a couple of Ultimate Time players bullshitting with each other.

Moments like these are not rare, and serve a valuable function to the story. They are able to show a passage of time with the bulk of the emotional labor of a lengthy bonding process happening off screen. How did we get here? What have they been through? These questions are often better left open to individual interpretation and can give the one interpreting a sense of ownership of the story.

See?  We’re being trolled is why.  (Even if the authors are pulling the trick Alt!Callie describes maybe a little too damn often, because a cut like this where we’re supposed to fill in the emotional gaps and intervening events ourselves as readers depends on readers’ faith that sensible events and decisions for these characters would OCCUPY the gaps, as if readers don’t have faith that what intervenes WOULD make sense to their understanding of the characters the way the authors are writing them... it just seems like an excuse to do whatever you want without adequately explaining yourself, when in reality if you’d spelled out the events that led to it we’d all cry foul at the mischaracterization.)

...okay, maybe I’m a BIT bitter.  Sorry.  Where were we?

JADE: As a point of curiosity- ARADIA: oh shit!!!!

The dead Cherub possessing the body of an equally deceased Goddess of Space pauses at the interruption.

She doesn’t talk much, then?  Too busy doing whatever talking you’d do as your other possessed Jade body?  Just how temporally related is you controlling THIS Jade compared to when you were controlling the other?  When that Jade pegged you as enjoying contact with friends, are these two just not enough for you, or did you “experience” the trips entirely separately?  I don’t THINK the alt!Callie possessing either Jade is a separate entity from the other, but...

Were she to voice her opinion, it would be that --actually-- it is not unusual for those whose primary concern is The Grander Scheme to have a passing curiosity about the insignificant. So when one really thinks about it, any annoyance with the attendant’s small mindedness is both understandable and warranted.

She pissed

...also, “the attendant”.  Even if “serve” is really the verb here, that phrasing really irks me as if she’s talking down to her.  Which, I mean, makes sense for alt!Callie’s character, but doesn’t make me feel better about this new definition being foisted on us.

ARADIA: :( JADE: as a point of order, you never answered dave’s question. ARADIA: which one he is very chatty JADE: you experience time in a way that is woefully unfamiliar to me and it has... piqued my curiosity enough to learn more. ARADIA: ?_? DAVEBOT: shes asking how old you are

Wait a minute, is Alt!Callie asking a question about a dropped topic from WEEKS ago?!  And is Davebot so in touch with Time and the meta ordering of topics that he actually CAUGHT ON that fast to what she was actually wondering about?????

This is getting more disorienting by the minute.

ARADIA: in this form our bodies stop aging once we reach maturity i think ARADIA: the god tier keeps our physical form locked in a state of undying ARADIA: even in death the bodies do not decay ARADIA: only lay dormant

THAT LAST PART IS FUCKING IMPORTANT.  It’s being brought up intentionally to tell us that JOHN’S DEAD BODY can still be in the wallet Terezi’s carrying around RIGHT NOW without having decayed over the past years.  I remember remarking in SOME previous HS^2 liveblog post of mine that I was alarmed by the decay that would have happened there (can’t find my remark on short notice and don’t really care to), so this explicitly dismisses it so we won’t be surprised by the fact that she could keep it in just-dead condition.

DAVEBOT: like how long have you been alive JADE: yes, that one.

[...]

ARADIA: oh maybe a few hundred years or so DAVEBOT: what JADE: what? ARADIA: well if i had known you were going to be so judgy about it DAVEBOT: when did this happen ARADIA: oh i spent some time in other doomed realities and timelines and came back before anybody could tell i was gone

Hm!

We knew she spent a LONG time in the dream bubbles, enough to talk to “pretty much all of the Nepetas”, but she was actually able to access a universe or universes and hop between them?  That’s not something any time traveller we’ve seen has been explicitly able to do intentionally before, quite like she’s describing.

DAVEBOT: oh just out for a bit of fun then DAVEBOT: just hopped on over to a different reality DAVEBOT: real casual like DAVEBOT: oh hello dont mind me just popping in to see if it really is as doomed as they say it is DAVEBOT: did not disappoint ARADIA: yes almost exactly like that :) DAVEBOT: who did you hang out with are they cooler than me ARADIA: it is complicated to explain DAVEBOT: oh ok nevermind then DAVEBOT: all clear

Yep, he’s kinda bewildered.  Is this Pesterquest stuff she’s referring to?  Did she stop by Pesterquest?

DAVEBOT: a whole alternate universe ripe with the coolest motherfuckers imaginable ARADIA: you were there too i threw your air conditioner into the sun DAVEBOT: wow thats fucked up DAVEBOT: thats not where that goes at all JADE: these events are not-canonical. ARADIA: rude

Ah!  Yeah, almost certainly Pesterquest.  (Still haven’t played that and have little inclination to now that I’m more sure we aren’t being gaslit with intentional continuity errors, just disappointed by actual continuity errors.)  Oh!  And that makes a bit more sense because I imagine that’s Black Hole territory, and that territory outside of Canon seems pretty rich and easy for time-travellers to hop between stories and timelines willy-nilly.  As they’re apt to in fanfics, which is the most appropriate way for things to be in that realm!

DAVEBOT: is that the trope of being hundreds of years old but looking young forever patently sucks ass DAVEBOT: a plot device an asshole would write ARADIA: :( JADE: that is not what i am trying to say at all. DAVEBOT: hmm wow yeah thatd really be a sort of pot/kettle situation i guess DAVEBOT: i cant believe im the only woke one here DAVEBOT: its hard being such a visionary AND such a fine metallic specimen DAVEBOT: but im an altruist first and fucking foremost ARADIA: so selfless JADE: yes, the greater narrative is truly blessed by your beneficent presence. DAVEBOT: oh so you got jokes now huh JADE: i have always had the ‘jokes’ of which you speak, but i have heretofore exercised restraint in laying you low. JADE: i possess knowledge of many of your iterations, as the scope of my powers allows me to exist in several narrative structures at once. DAVEBOT: but can she see why kids love the sweet cinnamon taste of cinnamon toast crunch JADE: i do not know, or care, what that means. ARADIA: neither do i :)

I’m actually really enjoying this conversation

JADE: its cultural significance to you as an earthling is wasted on the two of us entirely, as we have not conflated the misguided notion of clinging to nostalgic cereal advertisement trivia with socially relevant conversation.

Pff she literally checked her meta notes just now to learn what the cereal ads were after admitting she didn’t know what it meant and pretending not to care

> ==>

Oh, closer look at Davebot.  Are those actual SHAPED shades over his robotic eye bulges?  Weird, I thought it was just a lazy line drawn between them with red sharpie at first, Sans style.  That would’ve been funny.

> ==>

Ohh, I get it.  I was gonna say that was an unwarranted reaction... but he just realized that the Time-wait puns will be coming from BOTH his shipmates from now on.  That’s gotta be a downer.  :)

> ==>

HOLY

FUCKING

SHIT

IS ALT-CALLIE LAUGHING!??!?!?!??

That’s REALLY, REALLY GOOD!!!  SHE’S ALREADY LAUGHING OCCASIONALLY THAT MAKES ME SO HAPPY

“BEST NARRATOR” COFFEE CUP

SHE’S ADORABLE

> ==>

Ah, was that Jade kicking you out?  Or just the multiverse punishing you for being briefly happy :(

--oh, end of the update.  Guess that’s it for now!

...

Alright I know I’m A BIT BEHIND on covering the HS2 commentary,

But

I really would rather wait on that a bit longer if that’s alright.  Real busy and stressful week or two.  (Found out my hair is starting to thin noticeably at age 31!  Quite suddenly, too.  Blood test looks fine so it’s nothing serious... gonna see a doctor to check if anything can be safely done about that, it’s really hurting my self-esteem more than I thought it would.  Didn’t think it would hit my emotions that hard when it eventually happened, knew it was likely but not so SOON... really messing with my anxiety every time I accidentally touch my hair, now.  I’ll deal with it.)

If I sound really aimless in this post, I think it’s cause I am?  My mental and emotional energy’s REALLY drained.  I’m glad that June/July break in HS^2 happened when it did, and I’m definitely glad there’s apparently plenty in HS^2 I can really enjoy, if this update is anything to go by.  Maybe this comic can help lift me up instead of knocking me down.  :)

See y’all later!  More Patreon commentary blogging catchup after some other upd8.

[maybebi47]

MAY HI. It’s midnight where I am, I’m waiting for wandavision to upload at 2, and passing time by scrolling the DnP tag (which is somehow still trending 8 hours after the stereo?? Okay) Anyway I have some ‘this or that’s’ for you:

1) Dan’s itty bitty hoop earrings or his old stretcher earrings from like 2012?

2) TATINOF or II?

3) you raiding Dan’s closet or Phil’s closet?

4) 1st London Apartment or Current Apartment?

5) The Cube or Signed Polaroids?

6) Punk Edits IRL or Pastel Edits IRL?

7) Livestream highlights or Radio 1 highlights?

8) Lion or Llama or Dinosaur (I took physic damage typing this one, for some reason)

9) Spooky Week or Gamingmas?

10) Phil’s weird hand-thing or Phil’s laugh tongue-thing?

(I bolded my choices)

HI ANON<333 I just woke up lmao, i hope you enjoyed wandavision :D im gonna watch it as well as soon as possible

also thanks for the questions ur the coolest ever

1) hmmm, i have a stronger emotional attachment to his itty bitty hoops so that one, but i wanna see him make bolder choices, like, sir, please buy some dangly earrings im begging

2) TATINOF, yes it was a cringe fest, but it was OUR cringe fest<3 it payed homage to everything that started dnp and got them to where they are rn, makes me kinda emo to think about

3) THIS ONE IS SO HARD there are alot of dan outfits i wanna steal, but phil's closet is a masterpiece, im stealing all his cloths, we have the same style

4) first london apartment :')) for the memories :'))

5) SIGNED POLAROIDS!!! I WANT THEM SO BAD, i feel like the cube will have an emotional significance to someone else so they can have that instead

6) pastel edits irl, that video was so soft and cute first time i saw it i cried real tears akdhxm

7) livestream highlights, i feel like they were more comfy and themselves so its more fun to watch

8) violence is what u choose you asked me this akdhsjsjdh i think imma go with lion tho🦁

9) both. sorry can't choose. the consistency of spooky week and gamingmas meant the world to me at the time, i felt like i can depend on them ya know? like no matter what shitty thing happens today i will watch a new dnpg video at the end of it🥺 that being said i always liked the games they played in spooky week more!

10) ofc phil's laugh tongue thing🥺🥺🥺 he's so endearing🥺🥺🥺 he does it without even noticing thats adorable🥺🥺🥺

also love how we have very similar choices omg :D

[taikeero-lecoredier]

i literally feel like I’m getting punished for being such a procrastinator

Back in 2017,I had such an overflowing energy to discuss septic egos/ mark egos ideas and stories with my friend.And because I was such a procrastinator,i never ended up drawing or making fanfics out of those storied,despite me saying stuff like “oh i should draw that”I feel like I missed so many opportunities,and this year,despite me saying I’d create more (which I still intend to do) i feel like..I’m too late.The community seems to be tearing itself from the inside,people dont want to be associated with Sean anymore (i dont wanna go into the specifics again,and honestly,i cant blame them for wanting to do that) and so many people recently would rather turn their versions of the egos into ocs rather than keep them as egos on their own (which,again,i understand,as its a different sort of outlet to use your creativity flow,so all the more power to you,im not making this post to bash people turning the egos into ocs,itd be so fucking ridiculous)But I cant help but feel so distressed by all of this.Because before,people weren’t turning away like that en masse. Like many people,I also ask myself this question.What hapenned?Why is this happening? I’d rather see people saying they lost interest and move on,rather than leaving because they resent Sean,or JSE stuff in general.It would be such a better ending to this. And now,that im planning on thinking off art events to let people go wild with their creativity with the JSE egos,people are leaving. And..it hurts.And i regret so much not starting interacting more with people sooner. I feel guilty. I’m not planning on leaving or disconnecting myself form the septic egos myself anytime soon,but its just so painful to watch. I’ll never regret joining the fandom,because through this,I was able to meet some of my best friends. (You know who you are,and I love you guys so much) It just stings so much that,a place that used to be so warm,and welcoming,and full or fun stuff is turning up like this,because of multiple factors. And I have the bad(???) habit to try and reassure EVERYONE I come across being sad regarding this situation that “hey,maybe its just a bad moment!Maybe things are super shitty right now,but since things can’t stay the same forever,surelly that must mean there’s still hope,right?” Right? But people can only stay hopeful for so long.And who can blame them? Im just..so sad,and tired. And now that i’m kicking myself in the butt so I can actually do something with the egos,and that i’m seeing what’s happening with the fandom,its like I’m being told: “Aha!Too late!You waited for too long to get moving and do something with your ideas,and now everyone is leaving because of those bad stuff happening!Its your fault for not starting to draw or write seriously earlier!!Too bad!!You should have created when things were good and stable before!Sucker” Thats literally what i’m feeling right now,and its literally eating me away. I feel a bit bad making this post after I just talked to my friends about this,and they already gave me advice,like stop going in the jse tag,and other things,but.. ... I hate making people worry because of stuff I feel,but If i keep bottling things up,its just gonna explode at some point. Im sorry for posting this in the main tag,but ..I just..I just want for those who are unaware to.. be aware of what’s happening. I really,really want people to understand. Some people don’t understand why people are upset toward Sean.Or why they’re unhappy with the community. Its simply because people who brought up genuine concerns are sometimes being bashed by others who can’t stand seeing negavitity,despite being in their right to speak about those issues in a civil manner. People who speak up get unfairly placed in the same category of those “hateful tea blogs” who treat people who still have hope in Sean/are still in the fandom as the literal devil. (and other stuff,but Im too done to talk about these blogs in depths) For a fandom that was so accepting,encouraging,and welcoming?It feels bad to see so what’s happening.I feel bad. I feel even more bad when i remember that one person,who was such a sweetheart,and so creative with the egos.What would she think of this situation if she were still here? Would she have stayed regardless?Would have she turned her versions of the egos into ocs?Would she have resented Sean and left completely?Or would she have made some uplifting and hopeful posts? I dont know.I’ll never know. i miss her. I miss the old times. ... So please..We can’t rely on jack to make everything all better in the community,it seems.So.. Please. Let people who are worried speak up in peace.Don’t put them in the same basket as those who shit on jse fans and put down sean just for the sake of putting him down. Let them speak. And please,don’t pull the “If you dont like Sean anymore than fucking leave/stop watching him if you dont like the content” when they’re literally calmly saying “Hey i dont like [x] thing Sean did recently.I’d like for him to adress this tbh!” This. This would be the first step toward a better future for the community,if you stopped doing this. Please stop driving nice people away from the fandom by doing this. Please. I want 2020 to be a good year. People should be allowed to criticize things Sean does respectfully.it does not equal hate automatically. ..This is starting to be long. So i’ll just end by saying..For those who wish to stay regardless of this amdness..Don’t hesiate to send me asks okay?..I want to keep enjoying the egos.And seeing people’s creations.I will always give feedback and reblog if i see an edit,fic,art,etc,that i like. I will get that prompt list done.I swear.In the meantime..Stay safe,keep creating and..

Be civil.

[frustratedpotatowriter]

Explosive warmth

Ground Zero ¦ Bakugo Katsuki x Reader

GENRE: Smut. Fanfic. 18+. Aged up characters

WARNINGS: Smut, sex, cursing.

EXPLICIT CONTENT - READ AT YOUR OWN RISK

This is my first fanfic post. I hesitated on posting this, but here we go. Hope you like it. 😊

P.S This was originally a bakugo x original character because I like writing with names, but I changed it to bakugo x reader. Sorry for unchanged pronouns/grammar errors.

Please do not copy/plagiarize. Lovelots.💟

You took the coffee from the server's hands, thanked him, and rushed out the door.

You entered the company and went straight to the elevator, a few good mornings was thrown back and forth

You went straight to Ground Zero's office and placed the coffee on his table, exited the office, went to the bathroom and looked at yourself.

You pulled your sleeves, removed some hair covering your face.

The rush was intense this morning.

You went back to your designated desk and checked his schedule for today.

He is supposed to appear on an interview with Deku.

You sighed. He yells everytime you bring this one up.

Suddenly, you heard some explosions coming from Bakugo's office.

"God fucking dammit! Y/N!" You immediately stood up and went for his door, knocked three times before entering.

"Yes?" You asked standing in front of him.

"That shitty hair is gonna come here today." You nodded.

You just cant help but stare at him, his muscles evident on his shirt. His sweatpants exposing the slight bulge.

"Hey?! Are you listening?!" You snapped back to reality when you heard him yell.

"O-Okay, I'll be sure to serve him tea later." He glared at you, and you smiled at him.

"By the way, the interview with Deku today-"

"Goddamit! I fucking told you to cancel that shit! Im not going to have an interview together with that fucking nerd!"

"Yes, you told me that, but I also told you that Im not gonna cancel this one anymore because its already the third time this month, that you want an interview with the number one hero, cancelled. So, I'll be accompanying you later. Dont worry."

He growled at you. "Who the fuck is the boss here?!"

"You, of course." Beaming a smile at him. "We'll be leaving by 4pm, Sir. So, if there's nothing else, I'll be leaving now." You turned around to leave. You hear him muttering curses and shuffling around, you just chuckled and headed for the door.

"Goddammit. Y/N." You turned around once again when you did, a pair of something soft touch your lips.

He kissed you roughly and you responded immediately. Your hands wrapped around his neck and his are placed on your waist.

The couple of you were so deep in the kiss when knocks on the door disturbed your heated rendezvouz

Both of you let go, catching breaths.

"I-I'll check it out." You manage to utter. Suppresing the whine of having to stop. You fixed your ruffled blouse, opened the door and saw Red riot smiling outside.

"Whats up?! Is bakugo there?" You just nodded.

"Red riot's here." When your head turned around he is already on the couch looking pissed.

You let Red riot in and asked him to sit on the opposite couch where bakugo is sitting.

"Hey! Whats with the face?" Red riot asked.

"You're an idiot. You fucking bastard!" You chuckled at his response.

You went to the counter behind the couch where Red riot's sitting to prepare tea.

They were talking about Hero work, well. Red riot is talking about hero work and Ground Zero's just staying silent.

"Hey. Bakugo. You know. You should try dating already!"You felt your ear throbbed when you heard that, you even stopped moving to see if he's gonna answer.

A few seconds passed by.

"Dating doesn't sound too bad." For some odd reason, his response made your heart skip a few beats.

You took a deep breath and brought the tea to them.

"Mmmm! This is really good Y/N."

"Thank you, Red riot."

"You can call me Eijiro when we're alone!" He took another sip of tea.

"You know, I cant believe that you're gonna last as bakugo's secretary. You're so sweet and bakugo's just-"

"Stop talking there you idiot! Dont give her any ideas!" You just chuckled and shook your head.

You just slipped back to the counter to clean up.

"You should leave now!"

"What?! Why?"

"Leave now or I'll blast you off the roof!"

"Fine! fine! Thanks for the tea again, Y/N!" You paid a look at Eijiro who is now on the door waving goodbye.

"Bye eijiro!"

"What the fuck?!" You jumped when Ground Zero appeared behind you and yelled.

"What is it?"

"Why're you calling that Idiot Eijiro?!" You frowned.

"Because he said so?" You responded, not sure why he is acting all weird about it.

"Then I command you to call me Katsuki too!" shocked is the appropriate word to describe how you feel when he snapped.

"O-okay, K-kat-su-ki." You felt your cheeks blush, its the first time you called him his first name.

"Its KATSUKI! The fuck are you stuttering for?! You just called that idiot Eijiro!" You blinked a few times while staring at him.

Is he somehow jealous?

"You're being cute." You told him.

"The fuck is being cu-"He was cut off when you pulled his collar and kissed his lips.

You heard and felt him mutter idiot while you kiss but did not pay anymore attention to that and just continued enjoying his lips.

He let go of the kiss and pulled you by the wrist. He pushed you on the couch.

He smirked, and damn, he is hot.

You looked into his eyes and it was those of a predator ready devour its prey, which is YOU.

That thought brought a chill down your spine, out of excitement.

He then kissed your lips again, not too long though. His kisses travel down to your neck almost immediately.

He nibbled and sucked, and you're sure it left a mark there again.You're gonna have to conceal that again..

You felt a grasp on your left breast which made you moan. He started to unbutton your blouse impatiently, complaining that its taking too long, so you helped him.

When its finished, he immediately took it off. He took no more than 5 seconds to remove your bra next.

He kissed your cleavage and proceeded in licking your left nipple.

You moaned when he started sucking on it aggressively, your back arched, feeling more and more sensitive to his touch.

His right hand went roaming further down when you felt his finger touch your sensitive part.

You bit your lips as the thin clothing between you and his finger felt so rough.

"T-touch me more, please." You uttered, eager to feel more of him.

He stopped suckling your nipple and went back to face you. He claimed your lips once more as he slipped off your underwear.

You then, touched the hem of his shirt before pulling it up, he continued removing it for you.

His muscles are defined,you thought. Tracing down his abs with your finger.

When you reached his sweatpants, you pulled the string and looked at him.

He's staring at you intently, you pulled his arm to get him even closer.

"I want you inside me, Katsuki."

"Godammit!" As if the tiny string thats been holding him back popped, he flipped you over.

With no warnings, he slammed his cock inside you. It made you moan loud. You held on to the sofa while he's coming in and out of your castle.

Your walls are embracing his cock very well and he lives for it.

"You're so fucking wet!" You bit your lower lip, getting turned on by his grunts and moans.

""K-katsuki! You feel so good inside me!"

"Yeah? Whose cock can make you feel this good?"

"Y-yours katsuki! Only yours!" You screamed, head is spinning because of the sensation he's making you feel with every thrust.

"Damn right!" His pace fasten as you felt a familiar build up.

"I-I'm close!"

"M-me too. im gonna cum inside you!" My eyes widen when he said that.

"W-wait! I might- ah! get pregnant katsuki!"

"Yeah? Then get pregnant with my child!Ah! fuck!"

"Katsuki!" You called his name out as you felt a blissful release.

"Y/N!" Not a moment later you felt katsuki's seeds spilling inside your walls.

You felt his hand arounf your waist, embracing you.

You rested on that position for a minute then and both sat down on the couch.

He placed his arm around your shoulder as you rested on his chest.

You stayed silent for a few minutes.

"We should start going out together." You shot my eyes up at him, looking shocked.

"What? Dont you dare tell me that you just want to be fuck buddies?!" You laughed, he really panicked.

"Take me out on a dinner first." You answered, sticking your tongue out to tease him.

"Fine. whatever." You smiled and rested on his chest again.

"But not tonight, you have the interview and you said your mother asked you out tonight." I said, circling my fingers in his chest.

He grunted but did not protest anymore. You smiled again.Still can't believe he's asking you out.

"Stop blushing!" He yelled. You looked up at him again, and he should talk. His cheeks are deep red.

You just shook your head and chuckled.

EDIT: Part two can be found here

[graffitibible]

how do churn out fics so quickly? i feel like every month there's a new 35k word chapter out, meanwhile i've written 3 words on an empty doc 🤣 do you spend like 5 hours per day writing or are you just super fast?

OKAY REAL ANSWER 

basically, writing is very baked into my everyday schedule at this point lol. it was admittedly way easier before all this quarantine business started - my work gives me an hour long lunch and it takes me like 5 minutes to eat it and with virtually nothing else to do i just started bringing my laptop to work and banging out words there. now that my work hours have been drastically reduced, it’s harder for me to stay on task - i can bang out 3k words one day and only edit a stray sentence on another with no consistency whatsoever. 

i’m BIG on routine, so working writing into my daily routine more or less “tricks” me into being hyper-productive on it. there are certain periods in the day when im more productive, like the aforementioned long-ass lunch hour, but also like, when im making dinner or something. ive got to sit near the stove for like 30 minutes while im cooking some shit up to eat so thats thirty minutes to do some plot outlining or dialogue threading or editing or plain old writing. its not a whole lot of time but like when im working in my lunch hour, it works for me because its this window where i can trick myself into a burst of productivity in a condensed time frame without browbeating myself for not fulfilling a nonexistent standard. the amount of stuff i get done in those timeframes will honestly vary - sometimes its a paragraph and sometimes its a page. 

it also helps me personally to keep all my writing in textedit instead of a document that has an accessible wordcount or page count, so that way im not stressing about the length of the thing. this is also how i end up with like. 70k words crammed in one chapter and my pacing is SHIT because of it so thats not a sure thing by any means.

some people do daily wordcounts, which is a trick i do to keep myself working on my original fiction (i make myself write 200 words of original fiction per day, minimum. 200 shitty words isnt very much, and even if its not great, its some progress that i can go back to later.) but i dont apply the same tactic to fic, in part because i dont want my daily wordcount to feel overwhelming. 200 words is a simple, accessible goal for me even on days when im feeling like shit, and if i fall behind a day or two, its not an insurmountable barrier to overcome. its a good trick to kinda spur your brain into productivity. the downside to this is that youre basically playing a long con with yourself and theres a big chance that youll burn out on the project if youre stuck too long on it - ive been doing “200 words a day” for years at this point and ive written A Lot Of Stuff but not a lot of it is very refined because its a lot of words i have to go back and edit down.

wrt fic, i basically have multiple word docs open at all times so that they’re there and i can always turn things over in my head. this can sometimes feel like a big fucking “YOURE NOT DOING ENOUGH YOURE NOT BEING PRODUCTIVE” sword of damocles so that can be a double-edged thing that aint always so great. it usually works for me because its a good way to kickstart spontaneous bursts of creativity. ill always have these windows open, idly click into one, and go “oh hey thats a good sentence that ties in with this sentence” and then im writing again before im doing much active thought about it. if i spend too much time hyping myself up about “god i gotta get this done i have to do this now” then i start to dread the task so i try to eliminate that window whenever i can. 

LONG ANSWER IM SORRY. it comes down to me knowing my habits and my brain quirks and figuring out how to work with them as best as i can. im a routine-based person, so i built writing into my routine. i have memory issues, so if i get ideas at an inconvenient time i write em down to go back to em later. when executive dysfunction makes just starting to write feel insurmountable, i go back to what i wrote earlier and do editing instead. when im grappling with self-esteem and self-worth and i feel like my writing is flagging, i circle back to works i enjoy, both fanfic and published fiction, and study the writing styles of writers i admire for inspiration.

this is stuff that works for me personally! obviously every person is different and what works for some people aint gonna work for everybody. motivation issues are no fucking joke. its super tempting to like compare your pace of productivity to other peoples but honestly thatll just get you down. especially given current global events like, im lucky ive managed to be relatively productive during a Fucking Pandemic but some people wont be and that is COMPLETELY UNDERSTANDABLE, GIVEN THINGS. even then im certainly no stephen king. though i am also no george rr martin. in fact i think we can all take comfort in the fact that we are not george rr martin.

[queenlifesupport]

Wanna Do This Thing? (Ben!Rog x Y/N)

This was requested by @rogerbuttersmyeggroll (also fantastic fucking name), I would put what they requested but it would kind of give away what happens.

WORD COUNT : 2,039

Holy shit, I fucking loved writing this. SORRY FOR ANY TYPOS, I BARELY EDITED IT :’) MAKE SURE TO LIKE AND FOLLOW ME FOR MORE CONTENT! 

Warnings : A lil angst, language of course, the tiniest lil sexual phrase, and verbally fighting

I wasn't sure what to expect, but I was sure hoping the outcome was negative, Roger and I couldn't afford this right now. Especially with him going back to tour in 6 months, then returning after another 5 months, he wouldn't be here for the start of the aftermath. I couldn't help but pace rapidly in the small bathroom, I knew I'd eventually have to look at the small test indicator, but I first had to talk myself into even picking up the plastic stick. I stopped dead in my tracks after attempting to push myself to look at it, I tapped my chin with two fingers while my other hand rested on my hip.

"Fuck, Y/N, you're so fucking stupid." I murmured to myself before grabbing the test and finally looking at the result no matter what my head told me. My eyes widened, right in my hands read a positive pregnancy test. This was not the plan, our plan was once we got married and he retires from the music career, thats when we'd have our first kid. Not now when we're still young and he's in the middle of his career. I'm still looking for a job, for gods sake. It was now hitting me that I'd have to tell Roger, how the hell was I supposed to tell him? I have absolutely no idea how he'd react, we've definitely talked about having kids, but like I said we never talked about having one this early. His feelings could be so mixed about this, what if he leaves me after I tell him? Maybe I should take a few more? That one could've easily been wrong, not all of these can be 100% accurate, lets just try again.

I somehow managed to take a few more tests, now reciting back to pacing while all of them sat scattered on the bathroom counter, it was an absolute nervous mess in here. After a few long and dreaded minutes passed, I built up more courage to check all 4 of them. Each one read positive, just like the first one. "Fuck." Was all I could mutter to myself. I still held onto one test while using the back of my hand to rest it against my hot fleshed forehead, then bringing it down to gaze at the test one last time. I slid open the bottom drawer that held all of my travel bags, finding the smallest one to hide the original test in, I didn't want to just throw them all away, this was a big deal for both Roger and I. Placing the rest of them in empty tampon wrappings, I knew Roger wouldn't be looking through the garbage, but just in case, I threw a few tissues in there too in attempt to cover the packages. I looked in the mirror, taking a deep breath trying my best to calm myself down before exiting the bathroom. I unlocked the door slowly, then opened the door with all my might to be quiet, which turned out successful to my surprise, now only paying attention to the floor as I tiptoed my way to the bedroom. Entering the sunlit expanse, I mutedly shut the door behind me yet again accomplishing silence, I turned around in mid tiptoe before I realized Roger was awake and watching me while comfortably on his side, using his hand to prop his head off the bed. I tried to cover my hard swallow as his eyes burned through mine.

"Where'd you go, love?" His eyebrows were furrowed, patting the empty spot next to his shirtless figure. I normally walked over to the side of the soft mattress, laying down in the spot next to him and feeling his familiar warmth. Without him in bed, it was always cold, no matter how many blankets I used. I feared I'd never get that feeling again once he found out. Suddenly blanketed panic came upon me, how was I supposed to support myself and a child without a job? I'd have to pay rent, baby essentials, house appliances and food. Roger was the one that allowed the two of us to live comfortably. I brushed off the thought, trying to put up the facade for him.

"Just the bathroom." I smiled at him while running my hand through his soft blonde hair, even after sleeping, it wasn't tangled. He grabbed my hand with his free one, giving it a small kiss then rubbing my knuckles softly. His arm that held his head moved to under my neck, allowing me to cuddle up closer to his vessel as his other arm snaked around my waist. I felt the soft touch of his lips to my forehead before whispering a sleepy I love you. I wanted it to last forever.

I had forgotten our plans tonight, Brian and John were supposed to come for dinner while Freddie was off to god knows where, I attempted to invite him but he sadly declined. I was okay with just the two of them joining us, I just wish it could've been the whole crew. All day the whole pregnancy thing has been on my mind, I couldn't stop thinking about it but I wasn't ready to tell Rog, I just wanted things to be good for a little longer. Especially knowing that this whole thing could backfire on me. I offered to cook tonight so I didn't have to do much interaction, due to the boys having a drink in the living room while I worked away in the kitchen. This also gave me an opportunity to have some alone time so I can fully think things through.

"Rog, Bri, Deaky! Dinners ready!" I yelled as I removed my oven mitts and started dishing up food for the boys.

"Smells wonderful, darling." I heard Rogers sweet voice in my ear, sending shivers down my spine. He left a kiss on my upper cheekbone, instantly feeling a blush appearing on both cheeks. I took a seat with the rest of the boys as we all dug in, I heard hums from the 3 of them, showing me I did good.

Around 9 pm, both Brian and John left after sharing hugs and thank you's for the dinner which made me feel good. I enjoyed having everyone over at our house, it made me strangely feel like a real couple.

"I have an idea." Roger said before biting his lip and taking both of my hands in his. "Go wait patiently on the bed for daddy, I have to pee real quick." He said winking at me before jogging off to the hallway.

"Way to ruin the mood with your bladder!" I yelled with a smile. I appreciated how good my life was, and I hoped with all my heart that it would stay this way, or even get better. I walked to the bedroom, taking off my sweater and neatly folding it on the desk chair. As I went to take my bra off, Roger came stomping in holding a blue object in his hand. Fuck, it was the pregnancy test.

"I had to find out you were pregnant by the shitty garbage can falling over when I accidentally kicked it. When the fuck were you going to tell me?" He yelled from about 7 feet away, his voice slightly cracking at the end. That's what happened when he was about to cry, I just knew it.

'"Roger don't you dare yell at me." I said as calmly as I could, shutting my eyes harshly for a good 3 seconds. This was not how I wanted him to find out.

"Are you serious, Y/N? How long did you know? You're seriously going to get pregnant, 6 months before my tour, 6 months?!" He took a few steps closer.

"You're going to blame me for being pregnant? You're the stupid ass, you don't know how to fucking use a condom correctly, and it's clear because of the fucking two lines." I took a step closer too, now it was my turn to raise my voice and reach his.

"You should be on the pill, Y/N!" He took another step, now we barely had any room between us.

"You are the stupidest and rudest guy I've ever fucking met, Roger Taylor. Were you even paying attention at my doctors visit or when I complained multiple time about the pill giving me horrible headaches? Why should I have to deal with constant migraines so you can enjoy humming in me like a 'big boy'." We were practically spitting in each others faces. "Go fuck off and sleep on the couch tonight." I didn't yell this time, but the look on my face showed my emotion. He scoffed then walked to the bed to reach for a throw blanket. "No, go out there and freeze." I said storming over to him and snatching the blanket from his hand. All he did was look at me with a disgusted expression, then finally left, slamming the bedroom door behind him. I dropped down onto the edge of the cushion, throwing the blanket onto the bed before resting my face in my hands while my elbows dug into my knees. Suddenly the small house was vibrating at each loud thump coming from Rogers music room, I knew he was banging on the drums to let out anger plus attempting to piss me off even more, he had the knowledge that past 8 pm he wasn't supposed to play them, that was our rule. I decided I'd just try to sleep off the anger, but it would be hard to fall asleep with the consistent banging.

I woke up groggily to the smell of breakfast being made, Roger always made breakfast throughout Saturday-Monday, I had a feeling he made it just for himself this morning. I rolled over with my back facing the door until I heard a light knock on the door. I looked over my shoulder only to see Roger enter with a tray.

"I made you something." He said with a hint of a sad emotion visible. I sat up in the cold bed, watching him as he carefully walked over to the bed, setting down the tray of breakfast with a small vase of my favorite flowers then sitting on the floor, chest level with the frame. "I'm really sorry Y/N." He said after a few moments of silence.

"I'm sorry too Rog, I really should've told you." I whispered, looking down at my hands.

"Its scary knowing you're pregnant, but the more I think about it, the better it seems." He paused. "I have no doubt that I'm spending the rest of my life with you. Having a kid with you sounds like a dream, and yes, maybe a dream we planned later down the line, but this is whats happening now. Theres no such thing as 'right moments', it's always a right moment if you take it that way. I took it as a bad moment and bad timing last night, but I had time to think and fully process what this meant for us." He seemed like he was getting emotional so I leaned over to place a soft kiss upon his lips.

"I think we can make this work, our little Miss Rogerina." I giggled.

"Yeah - definitely not. If we have a girl, we will be naming her anything but that. Plus, of course were having a little baby boy." He winked at me.

"How about we discuss these things later? I just need some food right now, and some cuddles from my beautiful boyfriend."

"You mean Fiancé?" He asked with a smirk.

"What do you mean?" I questioned. He reached to his back pocket, removing a black velvet box and setting it down on the bed, then placing his chin on the mattress, observing me as I gasped. "No you didn't." I said in disbelief. He shrugged with a sly grin on his face. I bit my lip as I took the box and opened it to reveal a silver band with a single diamond on it. It was so simple, yet beyond gorgeous.

"What do you say, you wanna do this thing?" He asked while eying the ring I held.

"Fuck yes." I managed to get out.

{TAG LIST / @michael-langdonahs }

MASTERLINK

[worldsaver]

honestly sadie's one of the very few examples of damn near age accurate casting (kim's fourteen and sadie's like seventeen?) and thats freaking amazing. also she seems just so excited to have the role and its heartbreaking people keep on being shitty about it

I’ve been saying it since like, May of last year and I completely stand by it to this day, they knocked casting for this movie out of the park. Sadie is perfect as Kim (I have nothing to judge off of but this is her big break/first major role and judging by all the previews and promos she’s doing so well and having such a blast), Sean is perfect for Ron (show me literally ANYONE else..... no one embodies Ron as much as that boy), Taylor just IS Shego, Todd is probably the only person who could come close to DiMaggio’s Drakken (he even has the laugh holy shit !!!!), and they got the original Dementor back, plus Ciara (playing new character Athena) has been ON IT when it comes to documenting the experience filming Kim Possible and whatnot, and is clearly so hype for this movie. The entire cast is so hype for this movie and is clearly very close with one another, and I think they’re all going to shine through in their performances.

So many people are slinging hate at the movie already and like..... I get it, some of the editing hasn’t looked the best, but if anything I think that’s more due to them rushing to get trailers and teasers out and the like? And less to do with the final product. What little we’ve been given in the way of the cast actually acting has been so beautifully in sync with the series and yeah, the effects and stunts look cheesy and obvious, but it’s important to remember that THIS IS A DISNEY CHANNEL ORIGINAL MOVIE. They don’t have the same budget and time as big studio superhero movies do. You’re not going to get the look of a MCU movie on a Disney Channel budget, and that’s okay.

I could keep going but honestly, a lot of my opinions are covered in this video about false ownership, centered almost entirely on the live action movie. At the end of the day, this movie is intended for Disney Channel’s current audience, which is children. And the directors and creators have expressed that they want fans of the original cartoon to enjoy it, too---though this movie isn’t solely for them.

If you don’t like what you see, that’s fine. But stop sending hate to young actresses because they don’t look exactly like a cartoon character or your sexualized version of what they should be. Don’t harass literal teenagers for living their dream. And don’t watch the movie if you think it’s going to ‘ruin your childhood’. Just leave things be.

[nightcoremoon]

I think part of the reason why I hate horror movies is because of the overreliance on jumpscares and shock value and BWAH SUDDEN LOUD NOISES rather than on atmosphere, believability, tension, fear.

here's a list of horror movies from google and the reasons why I hate them, or why I love them, or that they're not actually horror movies.

A quiet place: haven't seen it yet but it's a thriller more so than a horror. thrillers can be scary though but then again so can comedies. and romances. 50 shades is definitely scary: it is psychological abuse after all.

Halloween: slasher film, automatically boring and shit. I'm including the entirety of the franchise here, by the way, and I'm also gonna be including Friday the 13th, nightmare on elm street, etc. They're all the same brand of sensationalist garbage. maybe the very first in each series could be redeemable but the mass volume of shitty and terrible CGI gorefests have ruined them forever. "oh no the scary unkillable monster is coming after us and he's gonna kill us in overly violent ways" 💩

Hereditary: I don't even give a shit it looks trite EDIT maybe it's okay but I don't give enough of a shit to bother to ~give it a chance~ because hey. that's what fucking horror games are for.

Insidious: boring, not scary, 0/10

Get Out: haven't watched yet but will because it's a cinematic masterpiece that defies genre conventions

Bird Box: IM SO FUCKING SICK OF HEARING ABOUT FUCKING BIRD BOX SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT BIRD BOX HOLY SHIT. It's just the goddamn happening by shyamagofuckyourself and it's an excuse to profit off of sensationalist suicide. oohh so spooky. eat my ass, boggart

It: too much bad cgi makes it a comedy. plus a bunch of kids say fuck a lot. good movie that's technically horror I guess but is it scary? nah.

Suspiria: I've never heard of this movie

Annihilation: same

Split: M NIGHT SHYAMALAN IS A SHITTY FILMMAKER and also it's ableist as fuck so

Mandy: google you suck none of these movies have any mainstream appeal

The Conjuring: 💩💩💩

Hush: ??? you know what fuck it I'm skipping the ones that don't matter

The Vvitch: 🙄 my mom's a witch, my best friend's a witch, I'm a witch. hey yeah maybe let's not buy into christian colonialism please? scary witches are boring as shit. gimme something actually scary. like Catholics.

The Nun: wait shit not like that! and by that I mean BORING AS HELL aside from the jumpscares. which are shit

The Babadook: clearly an LGBT movie, not horror

Cabin in the Woods: a parody and an excellent one at that. at least the gore is in homage, or hilariously over the top

Sinister: the fucking epitome of shitty jumpscares and shock value and lack of atmosphere and bad acting and bad plot and jesus fucking christ this is one of the worst and most boring movies I've ever had the misfortune to see DONT WASTE YOUR GODDAMN TIME

Saw: it's actually a thriller with Cary Elwes, Danny Glover, Michael Emerson, and Tobin Bell. it's a campy cheesy low budget true to form horror film with adequate writing, good acting, AMAZING MUSIC BY CHARLIE CLOSER, and isn't over the top with gore considering it's all practical effects. top fucking notch but spawned a dozen terrible sequels.

Shaun of the Dead: it's a touching and heartfelt romantic comedy... with zombies, EXCELLENT CINEMATOGRAPHY, excellent acting, and sad parts that will rip your fucking heart out, stomp on it, and grind it to dust. literally one of the best movies ever made of all time, eat shit tarantino.

The Ring: eh, the original Japanese was better (Japanese horror is its own genre and not a part of this criticism, I actually really like original Japanese horror unfucked up by american audiences as long as it doesn't just gratuitously glorify suicide as Japan does), but this was still a really good mystery thriller with some really cool effects, and is the only movie that has ever actually scared me for real. even now I hate that there's a tv with a vcr right at the foot of my bed.

The Sixth Sense: shyamalan made a couple of good movies. this was one of them. but it wasn't a horror movie and if you didn't know the twist IT WAS A FUCKING AMAZING ONE. like, goddamn empire strikes back levels of supreme and god tier plot twists. it went a little overboard on shock value but compared to the rest of the COMPLETE BULLSHIT on this list (AND IN HIS OWN MOVIES) it really could've gone way further.

The Descent: goddamn claustrophobia. too much horribly cgi'd gore and terrible decisions to be truly enjoyable though. would've been a much better movie without the mutants and the middle finger to physics throat stabbing and the JUST FUCKING KICK IT YOU GODDAMN IDIOT and oh yeah the subtle misogyny. the first half was good tho

28 days later: shitty remake of a merely ok movie EDIT I was thinking of 28 weeks later, 28 days was actually okay I guess

Scream: did not age well but it's okay for being meta, despite the fucking torture porn of drew barrymore at the beginning. allowed for scary movie 1 though, so I'm glad it exists.

Paranormal Activity: PARANORMAL FUCKING ACTIVITY CAN EAT MY ASS, ITS SUCH A SUBLIME FAILURE OF EXECUTION. I WANTED IT TO BE GOOD BUT IT WASNT. oh well at least it inspired five nights at Freddy's. I'll go ahead and throw all shitty found footage movies under this one, including unfriended.

Blair Witch Project: a fucking pioneer of its time. a genre definer. truly scary. good movie. I'll go ahead and throw all good found footage movies under this one, including cloverfield.

The Shining: a thriller, not horror. but goddamn is it the scariest not horror movie ever made. Stephen king you magnificent bastard

Alien: goddamn fucking alien. science fiction masterpiece. director's a little creepy but eh, sigourney weaver kicks ass, and alien isolation is such a good game (despite its many flaws), and it's just so iconic in terms of sheer scope of concept. it's the same horror movie as anywhere else but in space, and I still can't fucking believe this was made in the 70s. this and Star Wars were FUCKING AMAZING, and the xenomorph? THATS ALL PRACTICAL EFFECTS BABEY. NO OVERRELIANCE ON CGI GUTS AND SHOCK VALUE HERE, ITS JUST PURE HORROR AT ITS FINEST. good movie. aliens was better. everything else... eeehhh...

The Thing: same as the descent but with men instead of women, and EVEN WORSE DECISION MAKING. IT IS UNBELIEVABLE JUST HOW GODDAMN STUPID EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM COULD POSSIBLY BE. and in the remake yeah the practical effects were mind blowingly fantastic and inspired dead space which I believe is one of the best horror games if not just best games or horror pieces of media if not just best pieces of media constructed. but the prequel? 🙄 no thanks

The exorcist: masterpiece of practical effects without an overreliance on jumpscares and gore

Jaws: it's Stephen fucking Spielberg in the 70s and one of the most influential horror films and just films in general

Hellraiser: okay I'll give all works by clive barker a pass here because goddamn is he a demented fucking genius if ever I saw one. if only Jericho was actually a good game, it could've been the next doom 3

Poltergeist: an actually good horror movie that depends on atmosphere and effects more so than jumpscares and gore? SIGN ME THE FUCK UP

Evil Dead: campy but misogynist. the sequel was a comedy so it's okay. the next sequel is also a comedy AND ARMY OF DARKNESS IS ONE OF THE BEST MOVIES EVER FUCKING MADE. FIGHT ME. and fuck the remake. sam raimi should've retired after spiderman 3. maybe even before that.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre: honestly not bad. it was actually freaky and believable. rednecks really are fucking scary with all their inbreeding and terrible music and hatred of black people. I refuse to acknowledge the original and the sequels.

Psycho: eh, hitchcock's worst is still better than most of the shit on this list.

The Wicker Man: OH GOD NOT THE BEES! AHHGUBLAHH MY EYES! AAAAAHHHHH!!! fucking excellent comedy. but it doesn't have any naked ladies in it like the original did. oh well, can't please everyone.

Night of the Living Dead: THOSE ZOMBIES ARE BULLSHIT. ZOMBIES CANT USE WEAPONS AND THEY SURE AS FUCK CANT TURN YOU INTO A ZOMBIE BY STABBING YOU WITH A TROWEL. THEY HAVE TO BITE YOU. FUCK YOU GEORGE ROMERO. Also, dawn of the dead was just sensationalist garbage. "They tore apart a real pig carcass tho so it looked like real intestines" what? the fuck??? who gives a shit????? I watch movies to escape from reality, dumbass. I don't beat off to chopped up human carcasses. If I want a zombie movie I want the walking dead sans the soap opera bullshit and the racism and then "no one is safe and everyone will die" boring mentality propagated by twd and got and other things I used to like but no longer care about (because why should I give a shit about it if everyone could die? I can already be sad enough about all the real people I know who die. enjoying the pain of the deaths of those important to us is a privilege the cishets have). the walking dead seasons 1&2 was pure horror and the very best kind. don't give me boring contrivances. "but sheena, night of the living dead was a trope definer! everything in it was original!" yeah, you know what else is original? *farting noise* George Romero is just rob zombie without a rock band. his best work was fucking call of duty. that's pathetic. "maybe you just don't like gore" HEY YEAH SURE I DONT WANNA SEE UBER REALISTIC INTESTINES AND ORGANS IF THEY ARENT PART OF A MEDICAL DEAL SO IM JUST A BIG DUMB HATER. I'm the one in the wrong. fuck me, right?

Don't Breathe: A FUCKING TURKEY BASTER FILLED WITH SEMEN. THATS SO STUPID I FORGOT IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE SCARY. BEST CRINGE COMEDY OF THE YEAR :D

Tremors: legitimately great movie with a hundred shitty sequels. like saw but your faves win so you walk away filled with determination rather than sad and disappointed. enjoyment of tragedies are a privilege awarded to those who are neurotypical.

Zombieland: gore done right. the only casualty is mindless zomzoms and bill murray. good. granted it counts as a romance and a comedy but honestly last time I watched it I cried at the part where you find out buck isn't tallahassee's dog. god I love that movie. AND FOR WHOM THE BELL TOLLS IS THE MOST BADASS MOVIE OPENER EVER.

The Fly: Jeff fucking goldblum. amazing effects for good reasons. need I say more? the original doesn't exist because 1950s horror movies are all bad because all 1950s movies are bad. the 1950s should just be purged from america's records except for pleasantville.

All other Stephen king movies: hit or miss but mostly still good. although very few are actual horror.

10 cloverfield lane: more of a thriller like above's misery but still an amazing movie.

Peeping Tom: literally a movie about how creepy it is to fetishize the deaths of women WHILE LITERALLY FETISHIZING THE DEATHS OF WOMEN. like, come on man. how do you miss your own point so completely?

Invasion of the body snatchers: it's not horror and if it's made to be horror using gore it's shit. the whole thing is just an allegory to the joe mccarthy communism witch hunts anyway.

Cube trilogy: the ultimate b movies. so bad they're good. and it's such an interesting concept too!

Killer Klowns from Outer Space: fucking alien clowns come to earth to turn us into cotton candy by killing us using carnival fare. THIS IS THE GREATEST BAD MOVIE EVER MADE.

All horror movies based on horror video games: either irredeemably bad, or action movies

All creepy Netflix horror movies: wow any idiot with a camera and basic cgi skills can throw shit together to make a movie these days, huh

The Slender Man: I am literally too pissed off about this movie to insult it.

Marble Hornets, Tribe Twelve, the Slender Man movie on YouTube: triumphs of meta, editing, found footage, proof of concept, and story. Slenderman is such a malleable entity for a perfect horror experience, HOW CAN YOU POSSIBLY FUCK THAT UP? YOUD HAVE TO BE INTENTIONALLY SABOTAGING YOUR WHOLE MOVIE TO FUCK IT UP AS BAD AS SOMEone who exclusively directs remakes... oh... oh no.

Wrong Turn: one mediocre movie and a dozen loathesome snoozefests coasting by on shock value

Troll 2:

oh god

they're eating her

and then

they're gonna eat me

...

oh my gooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

(Troll 2 is literally the worst movie ever made and I have to respect it for that at least)

but yeah, horror is just bad for movies. but for video games, though...