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tangent101 · 5 months ago

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One interesting aspect about the original Life is Strange is that it is the epitome of the Unreliable Narrator. For instance, Chloe says some very... interesting things to Nathan about his selling drugs "laced with laxatives." But she never mentions the laxative aspect to Max, her best friend, who is an innocent. In fact, she is frequently surprised at things Max knows as she's now a little bit of a city girl. Thus Max knows about roofies and the like.

However, Max is also very much still an innocent. If you choose (for some strange bizarre reason) not to have Max kiss Chloe... she will write in her journal about not wanting to be married... as if a mere kiss with Chloe is her saying "I Do" before a minister. And with this in mind... and the additional oddities involved in the Photo Jumps when she was drugged... and you start to wonder. Did she go to the Everyday Hero Contest? Honestly, having a criminal case going on at Blackwell would result in Blackwell withdrawing from that contest. I mean, there's a criminal case going on and Principal Wells is the administrator of the school where these crimes took place. He would have stayed at Blackwell. (And honestly? Kate's near suicide should have killed Blackwell's attendance as well.)

And let's look at the Everyday Hero timeline (as I refer to events in that time loop): David gets an anonymous text that alerts him to the Dark Room, goes there, gets evidence, luckily avoids Jeffershit, and also luckily gets the non-corrupt cop (or maybe state police who were not under Prescott's influence) and a judge to do a warrant and quickly identify Jefferson and Nathan as the culprits. David and Chloe make amends, Rachel's body is found, Kate's doing okay, she is doing okay with Chloe, and here's a news article stating "no rapes occurred" (and yes, Max was worried about Chloe being raped as well as Kate and Rachel)... and everything's perfect!

Hell, she won the Everyday Hero contest of a girl standing in front of a bunch of pictures of herself that she took. Hmm... Jefferson was desperate to get into Max's photographic pants so his "ensuring" Max won would be a way of getting her alone... anyway, in this Perfect World Max gets a desperate cut-off call by Chloe in the Storm. Max does the big photo jump and then destroys that picture and Max carried the photo with her this entire time.

(Or maybe Nathan brought the piece of picture he had slipped on with him as "evidence" that Max knew stuff as she'd been in the bathroom. And thus in the prime timeline, Jefferson had destroyed her pictures first thing in punishment. It works.)

The Everyday Hero timeline is questionable. Max was drugged at the time. She could have hallucinated the entire thing, and Jefferson had other ways of learning she destroyed her Everyday Hero picture. The only "important" thing (for Max's well-being) is that no rapes happened... in a room with a vinyl-coated extra-large leather sofa that honestly serves no purpose.

Dontnod pushed the line with the rape theme. If I were to speculate I'd say that Square Enix was squeamish about rapes happening, so Dontnod shrugged and put in an easily-missed newspaper article saying "no rapes happened." I do know that the Nathan and Jefferson fanbois do not like hearing "rapes happened" because they don't want their bois sullied that way. It's to the point I call this "metaphoric rape" as something intimate and enjoyable to these girls is used to inflict harm on them for the pleasure of rich white men.

I do agree that Chloe should live. But my belief in this is because of who and what Max Caulfield is - a young woman in love with her best friend who has struggled so hard to ensure that best friend remains alive and who stated outright to Chloe "you are my number one priority" moments before Chloe offers a Hail Mary.

tl;dr - It was definitely sexual assault, and only *one* easily-missed newspaper article claims no rape happened. Dontnod intended on this being considered rape and probably had editorial meddling by Square Enix to change that story aspect. Also, go Bae!

The theme of sexual violence in Life is Strange S1

A very important theme of Season 1, present in the Dark Room plot, is the theme of sexual violence and of women being objectified, turned into inanimate objects by cruel men. This is what Jefferson and Nathan did to their victims - quite literally deprived them of all agency and posed their bodies for their own pleasure.

Chloe was also a victim of the Dark Room. Nathan lured her into his dorm, slipped her date rape drugs and attempted to assault her. She barely escaped before he began his photo session of her, which likely would've ended the same way as it did for Rachel, with Nathan overdosing his model.

By the way, this shows that the remorse expressed by Nathan over Rachel’s death and his complicity in Jefferson’s crimes in his voice mail to Max was completely phoney. Because after he had already murdered Rachel with an overdose, he attempted to perform a “photo session” on Chloe, clearly not minding the possibility of overdosing yet another girl. But why would he mind it? This time it wouldn’t be a friend of his, just some “whore”.

Nathan: “That whore in the bathroom!”

Chloe: “He dosed my drink with some shit ...”

Chloe: “I know I passed out on the floor. I woke up and that perv was smiling, crawling towards me with a camera ...”

When you first heard Chloe describe her encounter with Nathan, how he invited her to his dorm room and roofied her, how he stood over her with a camera when she regained consciousness, what was your reaction? What did you assume Nathan wanted to do to Chloe?

Kate: “I swear to God I had one sip of red wine. I remember ... I remember getting sick and dizzy ... Then Nathan Prescott said he would take me to the hospital ... All I recall is driving for a long time ... then I woke up in a room ... I don't know what happened ... I woke up outside my dorm room the next day. I felt gross”.

When you first heard Kate describe her encounter with Nathan, how she immediately felt drowsy after tasting her drink, how Nathan removed her from the party under the pretext of helping her but instead he took her to some secluded place where he did something to her, what was your reaction?

At that point, was there any reasonable explanation for Nathan’s behaviour apart from him being a date rapist? Spiking a girl’s drink, removing her from the party to a secluded place, taking pictures to keep as souvenirs and to blackmail the victim into silence – that’s textbook date rapist MO.

The sexual undertone of the violence perpetrated by Jefferson and Nathan against their unwilling models is obvious. Explaining his “art” to Max, Jefferson said he’s obsessed with “the moment innocence turns into corruption”. He also said that all his models have “the same doe-eyed look” once they realize what is about to happen to them.

Jefferson: “I’m obsessed with the idea of capturing that moment innocence evolves into corruption”.

Jefferson: “You all have the same doe-eyed look when you wake up here, replaced by fear as you realize what’s about to happen”.

But Jefferson’s usual MO didn’t involve him murdering his victims. He murdered Chloe and possibly Victoria as well as attempted to murder Max, because they were witnesses that needed to be removed. He usually dumped his unconscious victims somewhere after performing a photo session on them, still alive. So if the thing that made his victims supposedly lose innocence wasn’t impending death, what was it? Mark Jefferson strikes me as the kind of person who holds the reprehensible belief that being subjected to certain kinds of violence can cause a person to lose their innocence and become “corrupted”. That is of course not true. The only way a person can become corrupted is by embracing evil with their heart. Suffering violence at someone else’s hands can never deprive you of your innocence or corrupt you. But it seems that obvious truth was lost on Mark Jefferson.

When you first heard Chloe and Kate describe their encounters with Nathan, when you first heard Jefferson, a grown man, talk how he is obsessed with taking away the innocence and corrupting the teenage girls he kidnaps, weren’t the implications of what they did to their victims obvious? I think the writers wanted to leave what exactly happened to victims of the Dark Room ambiguous, but when all the voice lines for Episode 5 had already been recorded, they realized that the fate of the victims was anything but ambiguous, so they decided to add a newspaper clipping Max can find in the San Fransisco timeline, which states that no signs of violence going beyond drugging, kidnapping and posing of the victims was found. I am deeply grateful that they decided to add this bit of information, because I am very fond of all the characters who had the misfortune to be subjected to Jefferson’s and Nathan’s violence – Rachel, Kate, Chloe, Max. But even after we learn that the perpetrators “only” posed their victims and took their pictures, I still maintain that what Jefferson and Nathan did was sexual assault. They drugged their victims unconscious. They at least partially undressed them. On the pictures Max finds in the Dark Room, Rachel is missing her shoes and Kate is missing her black jacket, which they would've been wearing the moment they were kidnapped. And those were just the first photos in their respective albums. Thankfully, we weren’t shown the rest. Jefferson and Nathan exercised complete control over their victims’ limp bodies, posing them in ways they found pleasing.

In her diary, Max describes that some of the photographs of Kate and Rachel she saw in the Dark Room portrayed them posed with Nathan. Rachel’s photographs depicted her “all over” Nathan. This goes to show that the photo sessions done by Jefferson and Nathan involved a lot more physical contact than simply needed to pose the unconscious models and that Nathan got particularly handsy with his victims, both during photo sessions he performed with Jefferson and during those he performed alone.

And why did they only target pretty teenage girls? If Jefferson and Nathan wanted to capture the moment “innocence turns into corruption”, why not target young boys as well? Why go through all the trouble of kidnapping students from an expensive private school that would be searched for if they went missing? Why not target people that nobody would come looking for, like the homeless, or truckers on long hauls? Because they lusted for a very specific type of innocence and a very specific type of corruption. Finally, notice how they talked about their victims. Nathan kept calling Chloe a “whore”.

When Max lamented Chloe’s murder, Jefferson responded by saying she had to be silenced because she knew too much but he wasn’t interested in Chloe as a model because he’d already had his fill of faux punk sluts like that in his Seattle days.

Jefferson: “And don’t get me started on your late partner. I had enough of those faux punk sluts in my Seattle days”.

This is such a bizarre answer. Jefferson, when accused of murdering Chloe, felt the need to clarify that he was not interested in her, because he’d already had numerous flings with girls similar to her in the past. Why say that? If his lack of interest in Chloe stemmed from the fact that he’d had relations with similar girls in the past, then that clearly implies that the interest in his models was at least partially sexual in nature, even if he “only” satiated his desire by taking photographs. Talking about his “art”, Jefferson felt the need to bring up his taste in girls, explaining that he’d had enough of sluts and he was now after pure girls from good homes that he could corrupt to his evil heart’s desire.

Later, Jefferson said that Rachel and Chloe are fucking in heaven.

Max: “Chloe and Rachel! You killed both of them!”

Jefferson: “They’re fucking together in heaven right now. Is that what you want to hear?”

This is a grown man talking about high school kids using language like that – sluts, fucking. All that proves that Jefferson’s and Nathan’s disgusting crimes had a sexual dimension to them.

Look at it from Chloe’s perspective. Nathan lured her into a secluded location and slipped her date rape drugs. She barely escaped whatever he wanted to do to her. If this happened to you or someone you cared about, what would you assume? The only reasonable assumption would be that it was an attempted date rape. And the reality of Nathan’s photo sessions, seeing how they sometimes ended with the model suffering a deadly overdose, while different, was no better than that.

Chloe knew she would never get justice by going to the cops. Her word against the word of the local oligarch’s son? The Arcadia Bay Police Department was so notoriously corrupt that its members would openly admit to taking bribes from the Prescotts to teenage girls they just met for the first time.

Max: “I heard a rumour you were working for the Prescott family on the side”.

ABPD cop: “Look, sometimes I check up on the Prescott family to make sure they’re doing alright. Nathan included”.

Chloe figured that the only way for her to get any semblance of justice was to confront the boy who attempted to assault her and demand compensation. Now, riddle me this. Which ending concludes the theme of sexual violence and objectification of women in a better way? The victim being murdered by her would-be assaulter upon confronting him? Or the victim getting away alive? Murder is the ultimate form of objectification. It turns you into an inanimate object, forever. Should the story of the Dark Room end with it claiming one more victim, objectified irreversibly? Or with the victim reclaiming her agency, breaking free from the objectification and remaining animated?

#life is strange #chloe price #max caulfield #kate marsh #rachel amber #nathan prescott #mark jefferson #bae over bay

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ethereal-writes · 2 years ago

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Hey-o! I was wondering if you could do a Obey me platonic oneshot where the reader asks lucifer "hey why can't mammon indulge in his sin I mean asmo can and so can beel and I just don't get it" like they're genuinely curious bc they just don't understand at all and he get defensive in his usual avatar of pride way and subtly is like "why can't he???" And avoids the reader?? If this doesn't make sense or if you just don't wanna do it feel free to ignore this!

Whatever do you mean? (Ft. Mammon, Lucifer and GN!MC)

Warnings: Season 1 spoilers, Mentions of MC almost getting killed, minor injuries (?)

Word count: 0.6k

A/N: Thank you so much for your request! I'm hopeful this is sort of what you were looking for, I wasn't entirely sure where to take the story. The ending is kind of open, but I could definitely make a part 2 :D Also, finally after *checks calendar* 9 months, Lucifer finally makes an appearance in a story!

I think I added all the right warnings, if I should add any, please let me know!

-Ethereal ^J^

Story below, please don't claim as your own!

This week had been chaotic.

Things were almost always chaotic in the House of Lamentation, but you felt that this week had to have hit some sort of record.

Then again, you felt like that most weeks.

Regardless, by the time Saturday rolled around, you were more than ready to slip on your headphones and stay in your own world the rest of the day.

You hummed along to the music as you walked down the stairs.

Then stopped as something hit you on the head.

“Ow-!” You bent down, picking up the offending object. It was a very familiar pair of sunglasses.

Curious, you glanced up.

“Whoops, my bad!”

Mammon was currently dangling from the chandelier, strung up by his ankles.

You stared, dumfounded, at the ceiling. “What are you doing up there?”

“I’m baking a friggin’ cake.” Mammon rolled his eyes. “What do you think I’m doing up here?”

“You know that’s not what I meant,” you said, rolling your eyes right back. “Why are you up there?”

“Lucifer got all pissy when he found out I was at the casino last night,” Mammon said. “Said I had to ‘restrain myself when it came to my sin’ or something like that. I’ve only been there once this month! That’s not even that bad!”

“Last night?” You exclaimed. “You’ve been up there the whole night!?”

“Yeah, pretty much.”

You hesitated for a moment. The consequences from Lucifer could be extreme, but it’s not like you could just leave Mammon up there…

“Okay, give me a second, I’ll help you down.”

***

Soon enough, Mammon was down from the ceiling. (Basically, you cut the ropes and he hit the ground face first. Good thing demons were more durable than humans…) You’d told him to get out of here just in case Lucifer came back, and you didn’t have to tell him more than once.

You decided to hang back for a moment and clean up the ropes. Leaving a tripping hazard on the stairs seemed like a recipe for (another) disaster.

Suddenly, you felt a hand clamp down on your shoulder.

You jumped, dropping the ropes in your arms.

“A-hem.”

Of course, you’d been caught by the eldest brother. Reluctantly, you turned around.

“Where’s Mammon?” He asked with an unimpressed glare.

“Um…geez…I dunno-“

Lucifer held up one hand, using the other to pinch the bridge of his nose. “Just…don’t. I was about to let him down anyways. But don’t do that again, understand me?”

You nodded quickly.

“Wonderful. I’ll be seeing you, then.” He started towards the steps.

“Wait, can I ask you something?” You knew you were probably pushing your luck, but you’d had this question for a while. “Why is Mammon punished for his sin so much more often than everyone else?”

He turned around to look at you. “What ever do you mean?”

“I mean, like, Beel literally tried to kill me over some custard. Levi tried to kill me because he got jealous I won a contest, Satan tried to kill me because he got mad— you get the point.”

“Yes, that’s true.” He said.

“I…I know it is…I was there. That wasn’t the point,” you clarified. “I mean like, they barely got in trouble for it-“

“Would you like me to punish them for it?” He asked.

“What? No, I-? Maybe? I don’t know!”

“You’re not making any sense,” he said.

“Just-!” You paused for a second to recollect your train of thought. You turned around, resuming your collection of the ropes.

“It’s just, why can’t Mammon indulge in his sin?”

“Can’t he?” Lucifer questioned. “Wasn’t he out all of last night doing that?”

“That’s not what I mean-!” You turned around to look at him, but saw nothing.

He was gone.

“Well…okay then,” you threw your free hand up, and headed toward the garbage. You’d get an answer out of him one day…you were sure of it.

(You weren’t.)

#obey me #obey me mammon #obey me platonic #obey me lucifer #obey me mc #obey me fanfiction #obey me season 1 spoilers #lucifer really said 'gaslight gatekeep girlboss'

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beepboop358 · 3 years ago

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How I think the characters will react to Byler when it is officially officially confirmed in the show:

El: once El realizes she doesn't romantically love Mike, she will become an avid byler protector.

El is a badass independent woman with a pure heart of gold. She cares deeply for Mike because he was the first person to show her any sort of compassion, so she will want him to be happy, and after she grows closer to Will, she will want Will to be happy too. El won't understand the societal stigmas around Mike and Will liking each other, since she was raised in a lab away from society and then lived isolated in Hopper's cabin, she has no knowledge of what society deems right from wrong surrounding sexuality and love. She will think other people thinking Mike and Will's relationship is 'wrong' or 'unnatural' is utter bullshit and completely stupid, as she should!

Jonathan: he will be 100% supportive. He knows how Lonnie tormented Will and made homophobic remarks about Will being gay when he was younger. He has always encouraged Will to be himself and ignore what others say, especially what Lonnie says. Jonathan will also be a byler protector.

Jonathan knows Will isn't "normal", he even said Will was "good at hiding" in s1 which has several meanings, and he probably already knows Will likes Mike because of how he immediately turns to look at Will after Mike blurts out he loves El in s3 in Hopper's cabin.

s1 ep. 2: "He's trying to force you to like normal things, and you shouldn't like things because people tell you you're supposed too."

s2 ep. 1: "No I'm serious. You're a freak. But what? Do you want to be normal? Do you wanna be just like everybody else? Being a freak is the best. I'm a freak. Who would you rather be friends with? Bowie or Kenny Rogers? Exactly. It's no contest. The thing is, nobody normal ever accomplished anything meaningful in this world. You got it?"

------(Some subtle queer coding there with the Bowie reference; David Bowie was a bisexual musician, and he also sings the original version of the song "Heroes" that plays after Will's fake body is found in s1, and the lines that play while Mike cries and hugs his Mom are extremely queer coded: "And we kiss as though nothing could fall. And the shame.")

Nancy: It's implied Nancy and Mike are pretty close, and honestly I think she has always suspected that Mike has a little thing for Will. From the look on Nancy’s face when he blurts out he loves El, it kind of reads as like she doesn’t believe him, because she knows something.

s1 ep.7: "I knew you were acting weird, I just, I thought it was beause of Will"

Joyce: will be 100% supportive, and a protective mama bear of Will as always, but also for Mike. Joyce will join the club of avid byler protectors along with Jonathan and El.

Dustin: avid byler supporter. I think he's picked up on how much Mike cares for Will, how Will cares for Mike, and has probably suspected at least something this whole time. Dustin doesn't care about being considered cool he cares about doing what he likes and being true to himself, and that belief for sure translates into how he views his friends as well. He will absolutely support Mike and Will and treat them normally.

s3 ep.3: "Instead of dating somebody because you think it's gonna make you cooler, why not date somebody you actually enjoy being around?" s1 ep.6: "Sometimes your total obliviousness just blows my mind"

Max: She seems pretty perceptive, so she's probably picked up on Mike and Will's 'special dynamics' by now, and we know she's definitely sick of how Mike treated El. She will be supportive of Will and Mike, but mostly she will just be glad Mike isn't with El anymore LOL.

Lucas: I think he definitely notices Mike seems to reallllyyyy care for Will, and that Mike doesn't act the same about El, although he claims too. I think Lucas sees through Mike's bullshit. Look at his smirking face and crossed arms when Mike frantically asks where Will is in s2:

and how he reacts the same way to Mike blurting out he loves El and "can't lose her again" in s3:

Hopper: he will probably want to kill Mike again.

"wait what?! so.. let me get this straight...all that time you were making out with my daughter, you were just...pretending to love her? You lied to her the whole time you two 'dated' yeah? And now you're dating your best friend. Oh god wait, I watched you tell him that asking him to be your friend was the best thing you ever did that night in the shed... Oh you little asshole!"

I can't imagine Hopper being homophobic towards Will and Mike, but I don't see him jumping up and down for them either. He will mainly be upset that Mike dated El when he was actually in love with Will, and not care so much that Mike is in love with another boy, just another person. But once he processes that El is actually okay, he will be fine with it.

Lonnie: is the literal scum of the earth! Obviously Lonnie will hate that Will is gay and dating another man. He will probably make some comments about how he "always knew it" and call Will and Mike homophobic slurs, probably at Will's birthday.

s1 ep.1: "He used to say he was queer, called him a f*g"

Steve: "Oh you two little shits are dating now? But I thought he was into the psionic chick? No? Okay, alright cool. Uh hey have you guys met Robin yet? I think you would get along, you know what I'll introduce you." Steve was so accepting of Robin coming out to him, there's no way he won't have the same kind of reaction for Mike and Will.

Robin: once she gets to actually know them and spend time with them, she will adopt Mike and Will as her gay sons and inspire them to be themselves and help them out whenever they need it. She will also pick up on the fact that they like each other immediately. If we don't get this pairing in s4 because of location logistics, I really hope we get it in s5!!!

Erica: she won't be homophobic, but she just won't care too much.

Karen: will encourage Mike to follow his heart, and like whoever he likes, because a relationship needs real love to survive, and she knows all too well what it is like to be stuck in a relationship with no love, and she doesn't want that for her kids, she wants better for them. She wants Mike to be truly happy no matter what, and she doesn't want to see him repeat her mistakes. Karen will be very supportive of Mike, and probably defend him to Ted.

s1 ep.2: "All this that’s been going on with Will, I can’t imagine what it’s been like for you. I just…I want you to feel like you can talk to me. I never want you to feel like you have to hide anything from me. I’m here for you okay?”

Ted: he won't be as much of an asshole as Lonnie will be about it, but he will probably make some snarky comments.

s1 ep.7: “our son with a girl? *scoffing*”

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tobesobri · 4 years ago

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When the Lights Go Out (Halloween fic; 8k)

𝖆/𝖓: first off, happy Halloween yall! This is my second favorite holiday and so I really wanted to get something up in celebration of it! I’ve talked a lot on here about having trouble with writing recently and so I do what I normally do with writer’s block and I just leave what I’m stuck on and go off to write something random, which is what this ended up being. So, my writing style is definitely different and maybe not great, but this is just for fun so I don’t care! I still hope you enjoy! There’s spookiness (not too much), enemies (frenemies) to lovers, pumpkin carving, smut, alcohol consumption, and giant skeletons 💀 (oh and Harry dressed as Tarzan 🥵)

my masterlist 🎃 my askbox

𝕸ost people’s Halloween traditions weren’t too complicated; usually involving cult-favorite scary movies—ranging from Halloweentown to Nightmare on Elm Street—handing out Snickers and Kit-Kats to tiny trick-or-treaters, or just getting wasted at a friend’s haunted house party down the street. Their friend group, on the other hand, opted for a pumpkin carving contest every year on Halloween at Jason Hallow’s house, and, yes, his favorite holiday is Halloween because of his last name. And so, a few years ago when they were all undergrads together, he began hosting the annual carving contest at his house, in which they all paired up and, at the end of the night, whichever pair’s pumpkin came out the best—as judged by Jason, the resident Jack O’ Lantern expert—won whatever candy was leftover. That and marathons of R-rated horror flicks as well as occasional breaks to go out in the neighborhood and scare some of the kids while dressed in terrifying monster masks and slightly drunk off their asses from too much Tennessee whiskey.

Jason’s house was, hands down, the place to be in their neighborhood. Everyone who came by always wanted to join in on their festivities, and one year, they’d been just drunk enough to let a few of-age neighbors join in. This year, though, it was different. The stakes were higher. They were competing not only for the candy, but also for the much envied twelve-foot tall skeleton Jason had found at Home Depot which currently sat in his front yard amongst his other outrageous decorations. The skeleton was definitely the most noteworthy and had been the center of plenty group photos from just about every one of his neighbors since he had brought it home and especially tonight. In fact, every time the doorbell rang and he greeted another group of kids in his gory doctor costume—because Jason was in med school after all—every one of them squealed about how much they liked his skeleton. And so it almost pained him to have to give it to one of his friends after tonight, but if he’s being honest, he has nowhere to store it—he’d purchased it completely on a whim—and next year they will compete for it all over again anyway.

Tonight is also different because Harry and Y/N are not getting along. They all knew this beforehand, but simply brushed it off until they realized it was much worse than anyone had imagined. They had a horrible friendship—if one could even call it that—ever since they’d met as freshmen pre-law students six years ago. Sometimes they got along, but mostly, they bickered non-stop at each other, which all their friends took as misguided flirting. They got along for about six months once, after a drunken hookup, until, of course, Y/N hooked up with someone else and set off the volcano that was their relationship all over again. It had been calm recently with both of them needing each other’s help through their vigorous law school studies. So, a truce had been made and they tolerated each other at best. Tonight, though, the monsters had truly been unleashed and neither one of them had stopped picking at each other since they’d arrived.

It began on the street, when Harry took the spot Y/N had wanted to park in. Then at the door, when he asked her how her midterms were going and she felt like stepping on his toes until she crushed them. Which was perfectly logical since his was barefoot and mostly naked in his stupid Tarzan costume he’d recycled about four times now since they’d all known each other. He only wore it when the weather was warm, as he claimed, but they all had a suspicion he wore it so that he could watch Y/N drooling over him all night.

She wasn’t innocent either, in his defense, at least not this year when she came dressed in a sexy Beetlejuice costume, something none of them ever thought was possible. But she made it happen. She wore a too-short black and white vertical striped t-shirt dress—which had rips in all the right places, particularly across her chest—and a pair of neon green boots that were Doc Marten knock-offs she had found online. Other than that, she had spray painted the front bits of her hair a grey-green color and did her makeup to match the theme, dark purple smokey eyes and a green color used as contour. It looked good, she looked good, not that Harry would ever say that out loud.

Jason’s entire living room and dining room floors were covered with plastic tarps. He’d set up the usual fold-away tables and chairs for everyone. It was an easy clean-up job that wouldn’t leave pumpkin guts smudged into his hardwood floors or, even worse, the beige carpet in his living room. And, as always, he had a line up of various pumpkins on his kitchen counter—and the necessary kit of carving tools—ready to go. They usually didn’t start until nine-thirty or ten, once everyone arrived and had a few drinks in them and they had all agreed on what movies to watch. This year was a marathon of The Conjuring franchise, because Jason had spent way too much money on a box set and he would not be wasting them. Nobody objected anyway because the movies held a sentimental value to all of them. Every year since the beginning when a new movie came out, they all managed to go see it together, and also cause a horrible ruckus in the theater. Although they’d almost been kicked out a couple times, it was still some of the best memories together they’d ever had.

There was also that one year, when Annabelle Creation came out and Y/N and Harry were getting along on account of the LSATs, that they’d secretly gone home together. And then, of course, pretended it never happened.

That had been the second time they slept together, the second time she’d woken in his bed, with Harry’s annoyingly toned arm wrapped all the way around her, and the last as well because Harry got into a serious relationship their first year of law school and that had been the end of things.

Well… not completely the end. At least not until tonight.

“Okay we’re getting started!” Jason announced over both the music and the television, which someone turned down before Jason continued. He stood, wobbling, on one of the foldable chairs, for no other reason than the bottle of vodka in his hand. He was teetering on the edge sobriety and really didn’t give a fuck if he fell off. “Y’all know the drill! Isa’s handing out the cards. No whining. No trading. Or you’ll be disqualified.”

The cards in question were riddles that they had to match up with the answer. Half of them got the riddle card, the other half an answer card and that would determine who their partner was.

Y/N both wanted Harry as her partner and detested the idea at the same time. She was all for it because, well, he was hot dressed in nothing but his small piece of brown loincloth fabric hanging loosely on his hips. But at the same time, she knew they wouldn’t win together and she really wanted that skeleton.

The riddles were all hand-made by Jason on his computer and then laminated in his girlfriend’s school’s teacher lounge however many years ago. They all knew every answer to every riddle by now, but it was still a much more fun way to pair up than picking names out of a hat.

Y/N read her riddle twice, having absolutely no recollection of the answer to it, however—which was probably due to the alcohol she’d consumed herself within the past hour. She wasn’t all to blame, though, Harry had a lot to do with it too. She was still mad at him, for what she wasn’t sure, but she also could not stop herself from stealing glances at him and the only way to stop feeling so many confusing things about Harry was to drown it all away.

She read her riddle one last time: The person who built it sold it. The person who bought it never used it. The person who used it never saw it. What is it?

Her brain felt like mush after the third read and she hoped someone would find her first and give her the answer. She peeked around at people’s cards as they all tried to find their pair, some of them meeting up immediately and getting the prime pick of the pumpkins. It had dwindled down to just a few of them and she finally waltzed herself up to Harry, grabbed his card from his hand without his permission and read it.

In bold, 16-point Helvetica font, it read: A coffin.

Of course.

She rolled her eyes, shoving his card against his stupid bare chest and groaning audibly. “Figures I’m stuck with you.”

When she finally looked up at him, though, she wasn’t all that upset about her odds as she pretended to be. Not with the way his face set into a devilish, wicked, up-to-no-good look that made her want to rip him from the room and rip his useless Tarzan costume off too while she was at it.

He had also been drinking, which was made even more clear when he opened his mouth. “You’ll always be stuck with me.” And then he leaned in a little bit, his smirk widening and his eyes darkening and the sweet smell of vodka on his tongue strengthening, “Forever.”

She hated the buzzing in her stomach he caused, and hated that she liked knowing they probably would, at the very least, know each other for the rest of their lives. It had already been six years since they met and she still hadn’t managed to shake him off. And now they were finishing up law school together and getting offers to work at the same firm together. There would be no escaping him, not that she really wanted to.

The only time she wanted absolutely nothing to do with him was when he had a girlfriend. She hated seeing him in her classes, in her study groups, her circles, at her internship. He was always there, though, rubbing it in her face as she had once done to him. Hers was just a dumb hookup, partially just to spite him, and his was… well he dated the girl for entire year before they broke up and he seemed genuinely heartbroken over it. It had been serious, and Y/N had been seriously miserable the entire time. Even more so when she found out they’d split up and she just about threw a party while Harry moped around campus. She couldn’t help it, though, she’d liked him ever since they met, but then they just sort of… didn’t get along all the time.

She knew he liked her too, at least a little bit, or he’d never have slept with her twice. How much he actually liked her though was still up for debate, and so she chose keeping their weird hate-love relationship over ruining all of it by admitting her feelings for him. Plus, she liked working with him and getting his help on exams and papers too much to ruin that as well.

Y/N grabbed the third to last pumpkin, an unopened carving kit, and led the way to two lonesome chairs. They sat closest to the door, and farthest from the dining room and Jason, in their own little corner where they had enough room to stretch out given that no else had laid any claim on the other side of their table yet.

“So,” Harry began once they were settled and Y/N began opening the kit of tools, “what are we making?”

Before giving him an answer, she laid out all the tools on the table in front of them, next to their poor misshapen pumpkin, and then reached down into the side of her boot and pulled out a black sharpie; she’d learned a couple years back to start brining one. It might have been cheating, sketching her design beforehand, but Jason never outlawed it.

“I’m making Jason’s favorite Tim Burton character and you’re in charge of the guts.” She dictated confidently, slapping the sawing tool and the large orange plastic spoon in front of him so he could get started right away.

He eyed the tools for a moment, then the pumpkin, and then finally her. “Absolutely not. I’m not doing all the shit work while you do the fun stuff.”

“Thought you’d be used to that.” She half-mumbled, but he still heard her over the rest of the noise in the house. And, frankly, she was right. When they had interned together last year, she always handed off the demeaning tasks to him, like getting the coffee or making copies, while she did the much more interesting parts of the job. What she didn’t know was that she didn’t make him do anything. He always did it so she didn’t have to.

He sat back in his seat and crossed his arms over his chest, arms that her eyes—which were completely out of her control at that point—glued to immediately. He’d been working out ever since the break up and finally filled out the Tarzan costume a lot better. He’d always had a nice body, she knew that, but now… now he made her dizzy.

“I’m not doing it. Least not all by myself.”

She gave up then, mostly because she lost her will to argue against the pout of his lips and the flexing of his biceps—which weren’t ridiculously big, but they were subtle and modest and very much bigger than they had been this time last year when he’d dressed up as a shirtless baseball player. Most all of Harry’s costumes involved some level of nakedness and not much sense, but she didn’t complain too loudly. And his arms were definitely bigger now than they had been the last time she was in his bed and he was over her.

“Fine.” She groaned, grabbing the mini saw tool and then standing to begin carving a hole at the top of their pumpkin, around the stem. She made it big enough for them to be able to stick their hands inside, and then once she was finished, pulled the stem piece off and set it aside for later, chopping off some loose bits of pumpkin shreds first.

Despite his earlier protests, he was the first to dig into the pumpkin, standing as well and going hands first into the thing where he pulled out fistfuls and dumped it into a pile on the table. They went back and forth digging out the insides of the pumpkin until finally, Harry grabbed the spoon and really went in. And she didn’t even bother offering to help, and instead stared, again, at his stupid biceps and especially at his hands, which were slick from the pumpkin juice. She shuddered remembering where his hands had once been, and then pulled herself together remembering how long ago it had been and how very little interest he’d shown in picking up where they’d left off pre-girlfriend.

Once the pumpkin was fully gutted, they both sat again, and cleaned their hands off on the paper towels Jason had set up on each table.

She was the first to begin the process, sketching out the design with her sharpie of Oogie Boogie from The Nightmare Before Christmas. She’d carved the character before, but still needed a reference picture on her phone to get all the details right. And Harry watched her the entire time, memorizing her face for the millionth time while she concentrated, and sometimes he stared at her hands, too, hands he also found himself reminiscing over, to the point of needing to cross his legs so it wasn’t made visibly clear what he was thinking about. He was starting to regret recycling the Tarzan costume.

While they all worked, Jason answered the door and handed out candy about once every five minutes. The best part of their tradition wasn’t the pumpkin carving itself, but rather, the atmosphere. They loved the feeling, the adrenaline rush of it all. How messy everything would eventually get, how loud they all were. The anguished shouting when someone messed something up. The sounds of Thriller playing in the background mixed with the loud jump scares from the horror movies played all night long. It was heaven to any lover of Halloween (and they all loved Halloween).

She’d let Harry start the carving of the design, informing him what parts were staying and what parts needed to be cut away, before she ventured into the kitchen to grab them both a drink. On her way back, she paused for a moment, just watching Harry work over in their corner. The sight of him almost made her want to finally admit how she felt. Maybe it wouldn’t be too bad if he rejected her, at least then she’d know.

But then Zoe plopped down into her empty chair next to Harry and crushed everything back down like an aluminum can being recycled. She tossed back about half of her Smirnoff after Zoe had scooted closer to Harry and grazed her fingertips across his arm—the one he wasn’t using the carve the pumpkin. And at first, he ignored it, but then he set down the tool, pushed his hair back with his clean wrist and offered Zoe one of his annoying little smirks that Y/N always thought he saved just for her. But now, seeing him use it to flirt with Zoe, she felt stupid and betrayed. And stupid again for feeling betrayed.

She had no claim to him. She just had her memories, as inconvenient as they were at times. But that was nothing and it’d been so long that he showed any interest in her, in anybody, that for her to be jealous now was just pure selfishness. As much as she hated Harry sometimes, she still wanted to see him happy again.

Y/N made her way back slowly, eying what others were doing, until finally joining Harry again just as Zoe went back to her own pumpkin.

She was quiet for a moment, sipping on her drink, watching him as he got back to carving, before cleaning her throat as she finally said something, “What did Zoe want?” And she tried not to sound anything other than curious, but the way Harry glanced at her, with a raised brow, she knew she needed to be so much more subtle.

He took the other cup from her that she hadn’t drunk from and replenished his blood alcohol level. “She just asked me what I was doing after this.”

Instead of opening her mouth and being obvious, she just set her drink down and grabbed both the carving tool and the pumpkin from Harry to take over. He’d already done way more work than she had, so it was about time they switched anyway.

He eyed her curiously still, even though he allowed her to continue where he left off as he leaned back in his chair and took a break, downing what was left in his cup as she worked.

“You’re not jealous are you?” He finally asked, after a few moments to let his brain marinate in the alcohol in order to brave that question in the first place.

“No.” It was sharp. A piercing rejection he felt dig its claws deep into his heart. He couldn’t tell if she was lying or not, but if not, it hurt. More than he was willing to admit, even to himself. He wanted her to be jealous. He always did. That was part of the reason he’d gotten a girlfriend. And of course she was also part of the reason they broke up, if not all of it.

He nodded, “So it wouldn’t bother you if I went home with Zoe?”

He noticed her brief hesitation, when her hand stopped moving and she took in a breath of air, but then she settled again. “Doesn’t bother me what you do, Harry.”

Again, he nodded, still watching her just to get a sense of her reactions. Of course he had no plans on going home with Zoe. He just wanted to know. Where they stood. How Y/N felt about him. Whether she thought about their nights together as often as he did. When they were studying together and she’d shift her hair behind her shoulder and he’d get a whiff of her shampoo and be taken right back to one of those nights, and the nights that came after that when he got lost in that scent on his pillows until it eventually dissipated and left him craving more.

He tried again. One last time. If he still didn’t get the response he was hoping for, then he’d give it up and leave her alone. So, he sat forward, crossing his arms on top of the table, close enough to her now that the buzzing in her stomach reappeared even though she never braved a single glance at him. He was close enough that the smell of his cologne overtook the odor from the pumpkin. Close enough that she felt his breath on the side of her face when he spoke.

“So, I’ve just been imagining the way you’ve been looking at me all night then?” His voice was just above a whisper, and soft, caressing her ears as the sound crept its way inside of her. As it seeped into all the places the alcohol had been, although Harry was always something way more potent than whiskey or tequila. He made her head spin, made her feel everything and nothing at the same time. Made her heart flutter so much at times it hurt.

His words sunk in and all her motions stopped as she froze in place. She stopped carving their pumpkin, stopped blinking, stopped breathing. Staring blankly at their half-finished design until he was wrung out from her system completely. That never really happened, though, because he was staring at her, watching her with those glinting, impatient eyes, waiting for an answer. There wasn’t even the familiar hint of a smirk or a bit of amusement on his face anymore, either, that might have calmed her nerves. Because at least if he seemed to just be messing with her, she could play that game with him, but this was different.

He leaned forward a bit, trying to get her to look at him, to say something, anything, really. He’d be satisfied enough with her lies at this point. But he also knew the absence of an answer alone was all he really needed. He didn’t feel like he was getting ahead of himself, seeing the way her body reacted to him, by assuming that she felt, at least somewhat, the same way he did about her. Because if she’d been the one to ask if she was imagining how he’d been staring at her all night, he wouldn’t deny it.

Just as she opened her mouth, just as she had gathered enough words to form a coherent sentence, the room went dark. Pitch black, actually. The lights all around them flickering off, the television going blank, the music cutting out. And once the startled gasps and dramatic, drunken yelling had subsided, they were left in a ringing silence, so completely opposite to what they had been moments ago that it was painful for their ears to adjust to.

“What the fuck?” They heard Jason’s voice in the darkness and then, finally, a bit of light as he turned his phone’s flashlight on.

“Did the power go out everywhere?” Someone else asked.

And while everyone panicked, all Harry cared and thought about was Y/N’s hand wrapped tightly around his own on his lap. He wasn’t exactly sure when she’d grabbed for him, but once he realized she was there, he didn’t really care too much about the lights anymore. What he did care about still, however, was whether she’d ever answer his question now. If he’d ever get to hear what she was about to say just before the darkness cut her off.

A few of them stumbled about, making plans to go outside and check on things while everyone else stayed inside and waited. The room went dark for a few more moments as Jason left, but then someone else turned their flashlight on, and shined them at the ceiling so that there was at least enough light so that they didn’t have to sit in complete darkness.

If it wasn’t Halloween, the power going out wouldn’t have bothered her so much. Outages happened happened all the time. But now, in the middle of the second Annabelle movie with all sorts of other spooky shit around them, she couldn’t help but be terrified and imagine the worst. Like… what if there was a killer on the loose who had cut their power. What if the killer was chopping up Jason and the others and then eventually heading inside to do the same to all of them?

“Hey,” Harry mumbled beside her, inching closer and rubbing his thumb over the back of her hand, realizing she’d grown tense when her grip on him had tightened. “You alright?”

Hearing his voice again, she let out a breath of air and tried to relax. She watched way too many scary movies and this was most definitely not one of them. Just a power outage, possibly due to everyone being home and using lots of extra electricity on their lights and decorations. She had no reason to panic. Although it could be blamed on Harry as well, if he hadn’t made her an astronomical amount of nervous just before.

She nodded until she realized Harry couldn’t even see her very well. “I’m fine.” She finally affirmed, and, to his dismay, took her hand away from his.

They sat in their own silence for a while, listening to the quiet conversations around them, particularly to Zoe and Julie who were trying to look up any information they could even though their phones were slow from the lack of Wi-Fi and service.

After a little while, she found his hand again in the dark, and this time, she wasn’t afraid from the power going out, but rather what she was about to say. Because if there was ever an opportunity to spill your guts to Harry Styles, it was in a dark room where his grassy green eyes weren’t all over you, sucking every ounce of courage from your bones.

Her voice was in a whisper, and she finally looked at him, or rather in his direction. To the outlines of his face, of his nose and his cheekbones. Even though she couldn’t find the green, she knew he was there, waiting, listening.

“You haven’t been imagining anything.”

She couldn’t quite see it, but his eyebrows had hit the ceiling and before he could question her further, she continued.

“I was miserable when you were seeing Liv and so fucking happy when you broke up.” Her voice shook, but she didn’t let that stop her, “And then miserable again because you didn’t want me. And maybe you still don’t, but it would really bother me if you went home with someone else.”

The quiet almost ate her alive for the next few seconds when he said nothing and she didn’t have his features to go off of. But then, she felt him getting closer until, finally, his lips were at her ear.

“I’ve always wanted you.”

The buzzing was back but this time it was debilitating. Especially when he faced her and cupped his free hand along her jaw. And especially when he tilted her head back slightly to meet his lips, which had pretty good aim given their predicament. She missed the way he felt, she realized, once he was kissing her. Once he had scooted closer and released his hand from her grip on his lap. Once he grabbed up the other side of her face and pulled her closer. And then her hand was left to fend for itself on his thigh, and she, almost unconsciously, drifted her touch closer and closer and closer…

He moaned softly into her mouth when she toyed with the flimsy piece of fabric tied around his waist with her fingertips. And finally, she pulled apart from him, catching her breath before whispering, “Do you think they’d notice if we left?”

He shook his head, “Don’t think I care if they did.”

And so they were off. Trying not to draw too much attention to themselves even though she slightly tripped over the leg of the chair and he tried not to giggle too loudly while helping her. His hand fell into hers again as he led the way out of the living room, down the hall and into Jason’s guest room, closing them both off from any light source completely, not that they really cared too much about seeing each other; they just wanted to feel each other again.

And as soon as Harry had closed the door behind her, that’s exactly what they did. As she wrapped her arms around his neck; as he felt his way around her waist, he kissed her like he hadn’t kissed anyone in years. Like he was a dry, cracking desert and she was a vast river flowing through him.

He took brave steps towards the bed blindly, backing her up further into the dark room and managing to not trip over anything when he finally made it to the bed. They’d both, on separate occasions, spent the night in Jason’s guest room before, which helped when maneuvering around in the dark. For instance, Harry knew that Jason kept his secret stash of condoms in the bedside drawer. Harry had no idea why, but he was thankful for it right now, when, after laying her back on the bed, Y/N had already begun undoing his costume—with such quickness, he was sure she’d studied how the thing was connected to his body so that she knew exactly how to get if off if need be—and, within the next few seconds, tossed the flimsy Tarzan loincloth out of sight.

Which left him in just the black thong he wore underneath. If it were up to him, he wouldn’t have even bothered with it. But, when he had first gotten the costume and tried it on without anything, he imagined all the wardrobe slips and potential boners might not be in everyone’s best interests. So, he went out and bought the smallest pair of underwear he’d ever owned, tucked himself inside of them, and called it a day.

Those, too, were stripped from his body in a matter of seconds, or at least pushed down his thighs to where they no longer covered what they were intended to cover. But then she flipped them around, so that Harry was on his back this time, splayed across the bed and she was finally ridding him of the thong all together and not wasting any time getting her hands on him and he wondered, with how quick she was to get to this point, if she had been thinking about this all night. And if she had, then he would definitely have to whip out the Tarzan costume more often.

He seemed to sink into the mattress once he felt her mouth close on him, his eyes fluttering shut and his mouth hanging open involuntarily when he hit the back of her throat. He had no idea how he’d gone so long without her, or why either. Why had he been so stupid? Why did he let her think he didn’t want her? Why did he deprive the both of them of this? Of the way she felt circling her tongue around the tip of his cock, the way he knew she was looking at him even though he could physically not open his eyes or come down off his cloud long enough to tell her how good she felt. How much he missed it. How much he was probably in love with her, even if that might have been crossing some sort of line.

“Forgot how big you were,” she whispered, giggling almost shamefully after wiping her mouth on the back of her hand and giving him a break to actually breathe properly again.

“Think we both know that’s a lie.” He was out of breath already and he was right, although she wouldn’t feed his ego no matter what he said. Although she remembered his cock perfectly fine, she wasn’t exactly used to it. And maybe she had momentarily forgotten what he had hidden under his costume. It’d been two years since they slept together, and the first time it happened they’d been drunk.

She didn’t say anything else, just tried to hide the blush on her face—even though he couldn’t’ see it anyway—by taking a mouthful of him again. She didn’t let him come, though, of course, and he didn’t expect her to either. She never had before. She always led him get right to the edge, to where he was panting and writhing and digging his fingers into her hair, on the verge of screaming her name into the dark, and then she’d stop. Pull him from the back of her throat and leave him a sopping, moaning mess.

He’d somewhat recovered when she crawled on top of him and and sat on either side of his hips with her hands planted on his chest. And now that their eyes had adjusted to the darkness, she could see the curve of his lips as he smiled up at her and even the sinister little twist of his mouth just before he grabbed hold of the hem of her dress and ripped it off over her head, letting it fall onto the bed next to him. He wished they had just a little bit more light, but at the same time, it turned him on having to see with his hands instead. Having to reach up and cup her breasts in his palms and rely on his memories for a better visual than the one he currently had. And as she came down to kiss him again, there was one thing for sure he didn’t need any light or anything but his fingers to do.

He tossed her bra into the same vicinity as her dress and within seconds had his hands all over her again, and his tongue as well, wishing she was on her back so he could worship her in all the ways he desperately wanted to, but also aware that the power could flick on at any moment and he really didn’t have the time.

Not that she had asked, and maybe she just hadn’t thought of it yet, but he still, while continuing to make out with her, reached over, pulled the drawer open on the nightstand and reached inside to locate the box of condoms.

However, once he did, and he didn’t find what he was looking for, he sat up and pulled apart from her, twisting himself a bit in order to see inside the drawer. His other hand held onto her hips so she didn’t fall off of him as he searched the drawer. But, soon enough, he was laying back again, groaning as if he was in physical pain.

“There’s no condoms.” He muttered between his teeth and just that one little sentence ruined his entire night.

“It’s okay.” She assured, continuing to whisper just as he did so that no one would hear them through the thin walls. “I mean… we’re clean right? And I’m on birth control…”

He ran his fingers through his hair, looking up at her and trying to decide if it was a good idea or not. She was right, of course, but even so there was always a possibility. Even with condoms there was always that same possibility too. He knew one thing for certain. If he remembered correctly. There was absolutely no way in hell he’d be able to pull out, so that really wouldn’t even be an option either.

“If you don’t want to though, that’s fine.” She spoke again amongst his silence. It’s not like he would hate the potential consequences, and of course he would not hate feeling her without a stitch of anything in between them, he just needed to be reassured that’s what she wanted, truly.

“I do, just um… are you sure you’re okay with that?”

She nodded first and then, confidently, “Yes.” As she fell back into place over him, her lips came to his ear this time, “I want to feel you coming inside of me.”

His whole body shuddered, needing her more than he quite possibly ever had. And as she tucked her panties to the side and guided herself onto him, he would most definitely go outside and cut the lines himself if the power decided to come back on before they were finished.

“Forgot how wet you are…” He whispered, heart fluttering at the way she laughed while fucking him. He never forgot either, not quite. But feeling her again now, pooling around him, warm and snug, he again wondered why in the living hell he kept himself from her for so long. Sure, they didn’t like each other most of the time, but their first time together had been hot, drunk hate sex and ever since then he’d chased that feeling with other people, none of them ever quite adding up to her. He wondered if she thought the same. No one ever making her feel the way he did either. If, when she was with someone else, she thought of him instead.

He knew he wouldn’t last long the second she put her greedy hands on him, and so her being in control now was slightly dangerous. He wasn’t ready for it to be over, even if he was racing the clock, even if he could just take her home from here and do it all over again, properly. He didn’t want it to end as quickly as it started.

So, he flipped them back over, getting her on her back like he’d wanted to earlier. Slipping a pillow under her backside to get a better angle and letting her sink all the way through the mattress this time. He remained inside her the entire time, only making quick, shallow movements to avoid the sounds of their skin slapping against each other. But he gave up being careful about their noise level after she begged him to go faster, after he reached between them and rubbed his fingers over her clit to catch her up with him.

She tugged at his hair while he kissed her, breathlessly and without much of a second thought this time about how loud they were being. He assumed all their friends knew about them anyway, even if she chose to be ignorant to it. They all speculated about the secret hookups and the mindless flirting that was disguised as harmless bickering. So, he just stopped caring the closer and closer he got.

That was until he buried himself as far as he could inside of her, his hand wrapped around her throat the way he remembered her liking, and he felt the scream building beneath her skin, beneath his palm. Quickly, before her noises led to everyone barreling into the room to find out what was going on, he clasped his hand from her throat to her mouth instead. Holding tightly as she let it out, his eyes pouring into hers like a lake of shining emerald waters getting her to stay there in the room with him. So that she didn’t close her eyes and float away like he had before.

He titled her head to the side, kissed up her jaw to her ear. “Mm, I missed the way you sound.” He wanted to tell her how he thought about her pleads and her moans and her yells late at night when he was feeling particularly alone. When he wanted nothing but her, to either be inside of her, or to just have her there next to him. But all of that got caught in his throat, and instead, as he continued burying himself into her, he whispered like a growl in her ear, “Missed how well you take me.”

And although it made her moan, made her eyes cross and her fingernails scrape across his shoulder blades, he wanted to tell her that he missed how they fit together. How where he ended she began so seamlessly no one else could hardly compare. There had always been a seam with everyone else, with Liv, a visible divide between him and them, soldered together haphazardly. But with Y/N, it was smooth, flowing together as if they were the same person.

His hand slipped from her mouth as he began losing control, and soon she was the one having to cover the noises. Though, this time, she just simply pulled his lips to her own and felt all the vibrations escape from his throat against her skin, her teeth, her tongue. She breathed in nothing but the air from his lungs, and held onto his tightly as she began to unravel.

His moans quickened and quickened until she felt his release, warm and deep inside of her, just as her own gave way, until his body began to give out, until he was panting and no longer able to hold himself up over her. And so once they both descended from their cloud, once their wave had crashed onto the shore, he planted himself beside her, their chests in rhythm as they cough their breath.

And before either of them even managed to open their eyes or breathe steadily again, the surge of the power coming back on dimmed the haze. Their room was still dark, but light seeped under the door and the rest of their friends cheered from the other room as the music began again. And for a brief, stupid moment, Harry thought about fucking her again and letting her scream all she wanted, but that fantasy was cut short when he remembered their friends would soon realize they were missing.

“We should get back.” She mumbled. Although she made no sudden movements to get up. She even closed her eyes again, still off in another world.

And so Harry risked it, just for a few more moments, anyway, where he rolled closer to her and slid his hand up her jaw softly, pulling her attention toward him again as her eyes fluttered open, waiting.

“I was miserable when I was with Liv too. And we broke up because she knew I spent all my time thinking about someone else.” He swiped his thumb across her cheek, realizing for the first time that he’d probably royally fucked up all her makeup and then hoping she wouldn’t come to her senses and kill him for it.

“And who might that be?”

He smiled, sweetly this time unlike all his asshole smiles, and just as he glanced at her lips, ready to kiss her again, he was cut short.

“Yo, where are Harry and Y/N?” It was Jason, loud and clear and possibly headed their way to investigate his missing party guests who had snuck off together in the dark. Jason didn’t know that yet though, and as much as Harry would like none of their friends to find out, it wouldn’t exactly look great the two of them waltzing out of the guest room together. Harry’s curls in shambles, fresh scratches all across his back, and Y/N’s makeup smudged. There was simply no use in hiding what they’d been up to, it was written all over them.

Harry grabbed her clothes and handed them off while he went on a search for his own tiny pieces of costume. And just as they got decent again, there was a knock on the door.

“You guys in there? You better not be doing what I think you’re doing.” Jason warned and Harry and Y/n looked at each other for a moment before busting out laughing.

Harry got to the door first, throwing it open to a very surprised Jason, who then narrowed his eyes when he saw Y/N come up behind Harry.

“God, not in my guest room!” He whined as Harry pushed pass Jason, a looking Y/N following shortly behind, “Now I have to clean the sheets again! I just did them yesterday.”

“Sorry, mate!” Harry called over his shoulder, glancing down at Y/N quickly to give her one of his cocky little winks. And once they had reached the main room again, as he fell back into his chair, she realized just how many scratch marks she’d left on him, and wished he’d worn a costume with a shirt to cover it up.

She drowned out all the whistling and the comments about how everyone knew she and Harry were up to something, about the bets won and lost. All she heard was Harry’s voice in her ear, telling her how much he missed her and she wondered if it was real. If he really did miss her, or he just missed fucking her. If, when it was no longer October 31st, they’d just go back to normal. Like the horse-drawn carriage turning back into a lumpy, ugly pumpkin.

Harry noticed this, of course, because he’s a law student and notices everything, but just as he leaned in to ask if she was okay, she pulled away.

“I just, uh, need some air.” And then she was gone before he could do or say anything. She used through the front door, abandoning their poor pumpkin and headed toward her car. She’d left the keys and her purse inside, but it didn’t matter. She just leaned against the passenger door and gazed up at the stars, thankful for the clear night and warm weather.

And, of course, he was beside her not too long afterwards. She’d heard his footsteps against the pavement, knew he’d probably follow her out anyway.

He cleared his throat, half watching the same stars she was and half glancing at her. “Did I do something?”

“No, it’s um…” she faltered, her eyes falling to her feet. “Think I just had too much to drink.”

“Oh… I’m sorry. I—” she cut him off before he got too far in the wrong direction.

“No, I mean…” she pushed off her car then and faced him, “Are we just going to go back to how we always are after tonight? Because I don’t know if I can do that. But I never know what you’re thinking, Harry. Do you even like me or do you just like sleeping with me sometimes and arguing with me all the rest of the time?”

He continued to watch her for a moment, almost waiting for her to tell him she was kidding. But when she just ran a nervous hand through her colored hair, he realized she wasn’t.

He waited for a group of kids all dressed in various Star Wars outfits to pass by them before he began. “I guess I thought I was clear, but obviously not enough… I don’t just want to sleep with you every couple of years and pretend we don’t like each other in between. I think we’ve already wasted enough time, don’t you?”

She nodded once his words sunk in.

“Can we go finish our pumpkin now? And win the stupid skeleton. So I can take both it and you home with me?”

Again, she nodded, but this time it was matched with a smile. “Who says I want to go home with you?”

He rolled his eyes and threw an arm around her shoulder, pulling her close enough to kiss the top of her head as he steered them back toward the front door. “Guess it’ll just be me and the skeleton then.”

They both glanced over at the giant thing stuck in the middle of Jason’s front yard, still attracting every young person like it was a princess at Disneyland, and then she looked up at him again. “On second thought, I might like to see that.”

He shook his head, opening the front door for them, “M’sure you would.”

#sorry if there are spelling or grammar errors #im just glad to have written something tbh #but yeah let me know what you think! and i hope you all have a great halloween and that you're staying safe!#harry styles smut #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x reader #harry styles imagine #harry styles writing

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rhaenyraisadyke · 3 years ago

Text

A Year Later Transcript: 8/3/21

Here it all is on a google doc if that is easier to read!

W: “I heard there was a special place.. Where men could go and emancipate.. The brutality and the tyranny of their rulers…” Do you know that one Ranboo?

R: I have I have I have, I’ve heard that one a few times, I had a friend that sings that one quite a lot.

W: Yeah it's great, I- I personally, I am a big big fan of the song and not just because I wrote it, I know, I know they saw aww yeah they say you are your own worst critic, but I mean, I think it's good. Do you know what it's based on?

R: Mhm mhm

W: Obviously it's based on hallelujah, but the thing is Ranboo, right is the reason we did it is because Tommy used to sing hallelujah to the plants around the thing... the caravan! Do you remember the caravan? You have heard of the caravan right?

R: Yeah, yeah I’ve heard of it and seen the re-creation of it at the museum, but that's really it.

W: Actually can we go see it? Let's go see it quickly!

R: Yeah, sure.

W: So, so, he used to plant the stuff around the caravan, and it made it grow better, he hehe used to ha, my man Tommy, what is this? This is new.. I won’t ask questions…

R: I- Someone planted a lot of beats here and I don’t know why

W: OH, okay I quite like it, it looks really nice, it looks nicer than the target that used to be here. Um

R: Yeah

W: So my man Tommy used to sing to the plants to make them grow better um and that was the song he used to sing so I thought what a better way to honor tommy, one of the most loyal members of our fair nation then to name the song after him and base the song after his little muse. Tommy is all of our muse really, I'd say. So here's the museum.

R: Yeah, Yeah

W: I haven't been to the museum, wait las- that's where I met you Ranboo right?

R: Oh yeah yeah, that's where you saw me next to the um poster of myself… I don't know why that's still up, I kinda put that there and it preceded to stay there, is it still set up? Oh, oh no.

W: It’s not still up anymore it was here, it was right here on this wall. I quite liked it, but I guess not enough for it to be history though.

R: I’m not historical yet apparently.

W: So yeah in here, in here where the declaration of independence would sit on the wall here, it was actually quite, quite a nice van, not quite as nice as yours, I quite liked what you were doing with yours. Have you been working on it since I’ve been gone?

R: Yeah I’ve been working on it. I added a nice little table outside and did some pathways and appropriately themed flowers.

W: Thats nice

R: Yeah!

W: Let's go to Lmanburg or what was lmanburg, last time I saw it was a big glass thing.

R: Yeah I think it goes by Lmanhole now apparently.

W: Ahh ehh, that's kind of rude, it's kind of rude to Lmanburgs history you know?

R: mhm

W: It’s called Lmanburg, it's called Lmanburg. NOT Manberg NOT Lcrater or whatever, Lmanhole I don’t care it's now Lmanburg it's always Lmanburg. It’s just how it goes.

R: Okay

W: Yeah so that's why the song exists as it is. Oh there's no glass.

R: Yeah! Yeah I mean it seems to have changed a little bit.

W: YOOOO I actually didn’t know this was here

R: Yeah! It’s even got the flag down there at the bottom

W: It’s got the flag man! Can we go down and see the flag? Cmon Cmon lets go

R: Yeah yeah wait you alright?

W: I’m like a lemming I don’t care I’m just gonna jump

R: Oh well okay… careful!

W: Look at this dude!

R: Yeahh

W: Oh wow I really went down to bedrock didn't I? Holy Shit.. I did a number on this place. This is amazing!! Ahhh This is what it deserved, not the glass bullshit, this is what it needed, this like beautiful overgrowing, it feels like it happened, it doesn't feel like a monument, it feels like nature has claimed it back,

R: The book has kind of closed in that sense

W: Yeah.. we’ve got, look they have got they rebuilt the lake man! And this used to be a real river about here into Lmanburg- wait, Ranboo do you see that is that Tubbo?

R: Yeah… that's Tubbo

W: Aye Tubbo!

T: “I heard there was a special place where men could go and emancipate…”

W: Tubbo?

T: “ the tyranny” - oh?

W: Tubbo!

T: Hello?

W: Haha! You’ve came, I- I havent seen you dude in FUCKING ages! Tubbo, are you singing the song?

T: Yeah… Yeahhh?

W: Are you? Are you singing the thing?

T: Yeah hello?

W: Hold on I’m coming im coming im coming man

T: Where are you?

W: Hold on, I'm coming around, here I come, Tubbo man! I haven't seen you in ages!

T: H-H..Hello.. Wilbur..

W: I’m coming around man!

T: Yeah aha…

W: Bro! Its-

T: Weird seeing you here.

W: What in Lmanburg? That seems like the most normal place to see me.

T: Uhh yeah I suppose so

W: Well I- dude I don’t even know what to say to you man, it's like looking in a little mirror, you are even still wearing my suit still?

T: Yeahh

W: How long have you been wearing that?

T: Oh I just put it on for today, I just for it's been a year now…

W: Well you look good in it! Ranboo have you met Tubbo?

R: Yeah! Well I’ve I’ve met him, I mean we’ve um… been around yeah

W: Well Tubbo I’m really happy to see you man, dude

T: Ah, well thank you.

W: Do you even know what happened? Since,

T: What do you mean what's happened?

W: I saw you briefly man when I was resurrected, I remember you SUPER SUPER briefly but this is the first time we have actually gotten to speak, I- I will admit I was a little overwhelmed during that whole thing. I was running across the glass, thank god it's gone, this is far more adpt, but I was running across the glass, I’m sorry I wasn't you know, entirely on the same page, but I promise you I’ve calmed down I’m all settled in, I understand what's changed, what's happened whos new, whos old whos still about who uh…. Who trusts me and stuff

T: Did they fill you in on the story? Like what happened here after you died?

W: Yeah, they did, I’m gonna be honest with you it's not a pretty one, I kind of left a bit of a ripple. If I was a rock, dropped in a lake, I’m a pretty big rock

T: You- yeah’

W: And I can’t say I’m not- I’m not flattered. I mean I am flattered, I’m not TOO upset about it, I like being the big ripple, but more than anything, I want to say super simple man. I want to say. I want to say I’m sorry

T: Awe

W: For one thing mainly, I’ve been thinking about this for years, LITERAL years. I’m sorry for making you president specifically before blowing it up and I’m sorry for when I did this and blew all this up and making this hole,

T: Well I mean-

W: and making you president of a crater and i'm sorry. I’m really really sorry. I really am

T: I mean this wasnt all you Wilbur….

W: We’ll get to that, do you? Do you forgive me?

T: Yeah, I do forgive you

W: Man, ahhh my little treasury, secretary treasury, do you remember that?

T: Yeah yeah I remember that. Secretary to treasury

W: Ranboo he was the secretary to treasury and then he was president

R: Yeah

W: And then he was president

T: Yeah I’m pretty sure the treasury was like somewhere there.

W: So what were you saying about me not being the one there who blew it up?

T: Well I mean you definitely blew it up. I feel like you’re missing some vital information.

W: Wait, so you rebuilt it? How long -how long did it stand before this happened?

T: Yeah so, me, and mainly ghostbur honestly like

W: ….ghostbur….

T: He- put so much effort into making it right again.

W: Is he this obsidian crap I take it and these uh? Fucking lanterns

T: You know dream?

W: Yeah I know Dream- I love him. Dream’s Dreams

T: Oh..

W: Dreams probably my favorite person, sorry Ranboo i mean uh no contest here, Dreams probably my favorite person he saved me

T: Oh.. Oh..

W: He saved me he brought me back to life

T: Well um yeah I mean he was powerful I guess but um Techno and Philza yeah um

W: Techno and Phil blew this up?

T: They built this big obsidian contraption overnight… I couldn’t even see it coming. And they rained TNT for days.

W: nhh

R: Yeah…

W: And that's.. Wait hold on, why would Techno and Phil do this? Why would Techno and Phil blow up Lmanburg? Didn’t they live here? I mean I don’t know about Techno…

T: Techno and Phil, they hated the government, it was partially my fault as well…

W: But you didn’t blow it up

T: No, I didn't. I never wished for anything to happen like this.

W: So it was just Techno and Phil?

T: Y-y yes..

W: Sorry that's kind of just hit my not the blowing up part- You know I’ve done that,

T: Yeah

W: I’m not shaken up about that. I’m shaken up about man, is that, you rebuilt this! After I was gone

T: I can’t take all the credit obviously but there was a big effort

W: That fucking ghost- who cares man YOU rebuilt this! Bro, you

T: Yeah I suppose

W: MY fucking grave! I was so pressed about not having a grave, screw a grave I built something that you loved that YOU wanted to preserve… thats,

T: Yeah, I really honestly…

W: Tubbo that's worth more to me than a grave. That's worth more to me than this shrine. That's worth more to me then- Tubbo this is probably the best gift I have ever been given, this knowledge that people actually cared enough, that you cared enough to rebuild this community after it fell.

T: Ahh, I’m glad you’re happy.

W: You… haha, sorry, aww man, Tubbo thank you.

T: It’s alright, I just feel lost without Lmanburg. All my core beliefs.. Everything died with it.

W: You feel lost without Lmanburg

T: I have no purpose.. Anymore.

W: I guess that's where anarchy fails… Tubbo, I have a little, a little thing coming. Not big, nothing much yet, ehh, it's not a big deal you know, it's a little burger van at the moment but I got plans, big plans. Tubbo it's called paradise

T: Paradise.

W: Yeah, yeah will, would you like to come join me in paradise? Literally?

T: Hmmmm, Id, I’m not sure Wilbur, I’m not sure I trust you man. In order to follow someone I need to trust them.

W: Wait… wait- but I thought you forgave me!

T: Yeah Wilbur I forgive you because I like to hang onto the hope that people change but, I don’t trust you yet Wilbur.

W: Okay… Taboo. I literally was dead for thirteen years. I know it wasn't long for you, I know it was only a couple months for you but thirteen years Tubbo… Thirteen years of my life. I am old! Look at me! I’m not the same young man you knew. I-I’ve been through it and in those years, I’ve learned Tubbo, i wasn't just sat twiddling my thumbs just going “oooh this is nice ohhh i'm in darkness right now” you know I was thinking. I relived that explosion in my head so many times man, and I get that you don’t trust me, I do but like man! Look at me bro, I’m not gonna do it again, I’m not gonna hurt you again. I’m not gonna you know… I know you, you had the festival with Technoblade, I never spoke properly to you about this.

T: mm

W: I could have saved you…

T: But you didn’t

W: I- Tubbo… I’m reaching out to you man, I’m on my knees.. I, I’m sorry. I’m really really sorry and I literally, your forgiveness means so much to me but it doesnt give up what I did to you and it doesnt give up how I failed you as a friend, you know eh, fuck being as a coworker but just you know anything… Ranboo you might know or have known all of this and I’m really sorry if this was your first of hearing I can explain later on but like..

R: Alright………

W: Tubbo, man, I’m, I want to make it up to you. And you know what? I appreciate you don’t trust me. I do.

T: Wilbur in order for you to gain my trust back you have to prove it first. I can’t just give it out anymore. I used to be able to, but I just, I just can’t.

W: Tubbo… I really appreciate it, and I mean that genuinely. I appreciate it and I am gonna go out and prove to you I’m worth being trusted again. I promise.

T: Okay…

W: I’ll do it. I’ll do it. I’ll redeem myself and you'll.. Youll

T: Do you know I still have dreams right? Of the explosion… And, and of the fireworks. And all of it. I vividly see all of it every day. It HURTS. It hurts Wilbur a lot.

W: I- Tubbo, Tubbo, I know, I know, Tubbo, Tubbo, Tubbo Tubbo, please, I know…. I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I- arhh It feels like sorry is such a weak word. I feel like there's nothing stronger that I can say, and I understand what you mean about how my actions need to reflect it and they will. Give me time. I’m gonna make something. I'm gonna make something of this and I’m gonna…

Uhhhh

Tubbo do you know how fucking strong you are? And I’m not trying to say - I’ve got your forgiveness, but I know I need to earn your trust but man… you're so strong man, genuinely. Just the fact you proved to me that just there that you have these memories and these nightmares, you still found it in your heart to forgive me, that's... You’re a fucking champion man. You’re a hero.

Look I get you don’t want to join me in paradise. We won’t talk about that anymore but, cmon, at least come and see, come and at least see what me and Ranboo have been doing! Look I don’t know- Ranboo are you? Are you and Tubbo friends? Are you and Tubbo like good friends?

R: Yeah, yeah I’d say so.

W: Then why don't you and him come and see what I’ve made! Come and see what I’ve got going on! Lets go lets go!

T: I think.. I think I’m gonna stay here, Wilbur. I think I’m fine, just to stay here.

W: No, no man, no worries. Look at me bro look at me bro! Chin up! Look, lucky rabbit's foot!

T: Okay…

W: Tommy gave it to me

T: Lucky Rabbit's foot…

W: Lucky Rabbit's foot man, chin up. Ranboo, I’ll, you can come, it's cool.

R: I will, I will. Do you need me to stay here?

T: No.. *sniffles* I’d like to be left alone please

R: Oh… you sure? I mean.. I can stay…

T: Yes. I’m fine

R:You sure? Okay...

W: Ranboo! Let's go man.

R: Yep! Lets- lets go

W: Cya tubbo! I’ll send a letter!

T: Uhuh

W: Comeon Ranboo

R: Alright

W: Ah man! It’s its I mean I I was gonna say this is hard, but obviously it's hard, I’ve -

R: It is, it is

W: It's difficult man and I’ve been you know it's gonna get better and it's gonna be worth it when I see them smiling.

R: Yeah, yeah

W: Tubbo, Jack, Niki, Tommy, anyone… Do you know who the original Lmanburg group were? Do you know who we were?

R: Ah, uhh I think most of them yeah, I think it was you, Jack, Niki, Fundy I believe as well

W: Fundy was after, Fundy was a bit after we got independence

R: mhm yeah I don’t really. I don’t really know much of lmanburg history

W: That’s alright you’ve got it down, it's correct. It’s that group and we um yeah we fought against Dream and we managed to succeed and we created a life process. Ranboo I’m gonna tell you something I’ve never really told anyone, I try and keep this on the low because I don’t want uh people to use it against me is the main problem. I didn’t even tell Tommy. I- I lied to Tommy I’m gonna be honest. I’ll tell him soon

R: Yeah

W: I’ll tell him I lied to him because I feel- it kind of eats away at me. I kind of- I told Tommy that I didn’t actually care about Lmanburg and that it was actually a tool for me to get and gain power and stuff but it's not true. Lmanburg was really important to me and it is still to this day. I want it, I want its history to live on, not as a stain caused by me because I basically took a bit shit on the history books. I wanna, I wanna make it feel like it was you know something that happened and it was a great thing. Think of the good times, the years and years well not years but you know the time of safety the time of fun, prosperity! We built parks, we built you know, no taxes, big walls, we had democracy! All be a slightly disjointed version of it but you know, that's how people should remember Lmanburg, that's what people think of when they think of our nation you know? And that's, and Tubbos the last connection we really have, I mean he, he said it himself, he's kind of you know… he's got nothing without it. I’ve heard of what Tommy, Tommys you know moved on and Jacks moved on and Niki’s moved on and everyones moved on at least partially… but Tubbo man, he's still……

R: Yeah he's still very strung up about it even though it's been awhile… He, he distracts himself with projects and everything which is nice but, you

W: Heh, projects

R: I mean yeah fortifications as well

W: I think he's gonna be alright

R: I hope so

W: I’m looking out for him. Anyway I want to say thank you Ranboo for you know trusting me this quick, I mean you barely know me

R: I mean, yeah

W: You barely have known me very long and you just know you’ve done all this with me and you’ve worked with me and I- I- you know I don’t I don’t know where I’d be without you here right now, man. T-Tommy’s great and all he's here and all but I don't wanna string him along too much because hes- I, when I look at him, when I look at him and he's helping me out and building things with me, I - I see the same eyes that looked at me when… when… there weren't some fun times in the ravine of Pogtopia I wasn't a very well man, and I can just see Tommy from that day…

oH!! Ranboo! This looks great man!

R: Yeah yea, I’ve made a couple of um changes to it. Added some stuff to it

W: Like I was saying though, I appreciate it, I really appreciate it.

R: Yeahh, yeah of course! Of course

W: May I ask, I know I’ve already asked this before but why do you trust me so fast? What's the…?

R: I mean I like to normally see the good in people and everything.

W: I know we’ve gone through that and you’ve made me cry just

R: Yeahhh, sorry about that, but I- I think the reason I think I know what it's like to have no one hurt or at least feel like no one trusts you.

W: Mhm

R: Um, and I- I’ve realised that if no one is with you, then how can anyone really know when you’ve redeemed yourself. So that's why I’m here

W: You wanna see the fireworks?

R: Well maybe not the fireworks but, I mean at least

W: Ceremonial

R: At least when you change er redeem yourself I think it- it's good to have someone there and it's not nice to be alone all the time so…

W: My boy! Ranboo, I knew

R: Yeah!

W: I knew I could trust you. We got the exact same mindset I’m thinking of ahh Ranboo I love what you have done with the burger van

R: Thank you, I’m glad you like it

W: I think this is going to be a beginning of a beautiful partnership,

R: Yeah!

W:beautiful friendship, and maybe when Tubbo comes we can you know have a big party and all get to know each other a bit better.

R: Yeah I can, I can talk with him I think and maybe get him to uh join hopefully

W: Yeah, don’t pressure him. He doesn't have to join, he just needs to come. I just want him to come and see our patented burgers!

R: Yeah!

W: Our burgers, our burger NFTS he needs to come and try them! Ranboo. Thank you man

R: You’re welcome, I’m glad that I could help out a little bit at least.

W: You’re a brilliant man and I'm going to go now a happy man.

R: That's good, I’m glad you’re happy.

W: Thank you Ranboo. Buh Bye. Ah, I love that guy bro!

#dsmp transcript #transcript #tubbo #ranboo #wilbur soot #lmanburg #c!tubbo #c!ranboo #c!wilbur #las nevadas #paradise

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heretherebedork · 3 years ago

Note

The Battle Royale is back!! This time: Uke edtion 2.0: the comeback!! (This time: the battle is randomized and shuffled!)

Now who among here excretes the most uke energy? A gaybie? A soft uke? A perfect Uke? And the contestants are:

Taekyung vs. Adachi

Sky (GB) vs. Tae Joo (Eyes Linger)

Pi vs. Gene

Tian vs. Pharm

ShuYi vs. Shi Lei

Zhao Zi vs. Si Qi

Meen vs. Tine

Jin vs. Arthit

Kit (Gen Y) vs. Wad (SOTUS S)

Karl vs. Gavreel

Tutor vs. Knock

Mico vs. Jaime

Reb vs. Jim

Tong vs. Folk

Paii vs. Wayo (2moons2)

Beam vs. Kit (Both 2moons2)

Mon vs. Shi Gu

Chon vs. Mes

Masuk vs. Nuea

King vs. Third

Puth vs. Boss (My Engineer)

Kao (DBK) vs. Kao (Oxygen)

Chol vs. Xingsi

Mu Ren vs. Yu Hao (Crossing the Line)

Pete (LBC) vs. Fiat

Yeon Woo (Color Rush) vs. Ki Wan (Ryu's Wedding)

Hin (Chance to Love) vs. Hin (Lovely Writer)

Aey vs. Yi Chen (Obsessed)

Pao vs. Ake

Phai (Gen Y) vs. Wayu (Gen Y)

Day (Sotus S) vs. Zon (WhyRU)

Typhoon vs. Mekhin (Close Friend)

Team vs. In

Guitar vs. Ray (Close Friend)

Type (2gether) vs. Sang Ha (Mr. Heart)

Sheng Zhe (Right or Wrong) vs. Shao Fei

Frong vs. Duen

King vs. Sky (My Day)

Ou Wen vs. Minh Hoang

Can vs. Techno

Yu Zhen vs. Bunn

Bonus: (Ga On vs. Da On)

This time, anyone can play! Feel free to play this game! It's open to all!

I'd also like to dare @absolutebl and @raiko101 to try this one! Hehehe

and also: thank you @absolutebl for your posts! I also learned a lot from you! prolly half of these characters came from you so, yay thanks!

Goodluck!

Ahaha, wow, my anons are pulling in my mutuals? Again? My life is wild here, y'all. Yay Battle Royale Anon! How did you know I have time to kill before Golden Blood?

Also, this one is fascinating because how does one define uke? Because some of these characters might be bottoms but I wouldn't define them as ukes because ukes are typically the ones being pursued. So I've sort of been trying to figure that out and so some of these get some odd answers depending on the character. Is an uke defined as what most straight girls think of a bottom? Is an uke the character being pursued or who needs to be taken care of?

... Look, uke is an ever-evolving word, especially from when I first joined fandom. So it's very interesting!

Taekyung vs. Adachi

Adachi has to win this. I love Taekyung to death and he's my tiny gaybie but Adachi just... he's darling and small and he needs to be protected and pursued and he just... fits more of what I think of as an uke. Now, this is probably because this is a Japan (creator of the uke/seme dynamic as we know it) versus Korea (who really don't do strong seme/uke dynamics) thing rather than a character thing. Since uke really is in the relationship and not just the character...

Sky (GB) vs. Tae Joo (Eyes Linger)

It's Sky. Sky is a baby. Sky is absolutely baby. He's in need of so much love and care and protection. Although Tae Joo is close and he definitely needs it, it's in a different way. Plus, Sun is gonna take a bullet for Sky and I am an absolute sucker for that. But they're such good characters to contrast.

Pi vs. Gene

I gotta admit that I'm giving this to Gene. Now, this is because of the show. I want Gene to be taken care of by his love. I want Nubsib to love and care for Gene. I don't want Pi to be take care of. I want Pi to go be independent and pissy somewhere else without ever thinking about Mork again.

Tian vs. Pharm

Pharm had to win this. I love Tian, don't get me wrong. But Tian and Phupha have a different dynamics than Dean and Pharm. Dean and Pharm definitely lean more towards what I would consider a seme/uke relationship and, thus, Pharm wins. Also, tiny gaybie Pharm almost always wins.

ShuYi vs. Shi Lei

This is so interesting because it's Taiwan vs Taiwan and they don't do the really strong seme/uke... but yeah, it's Shu Yi. Shu Yi 100%. Shi Lei is an uke but he's not as much of one as Shu Yi. Shu Yi is such a darling who just needs so much love.

Zhao Zi vs. Si Qi

It's Zhao Zi. Look, I adore Si Qi. He's a darling. But Zhao Zi is just gaybie energy x100 alongside abandonment issues and that sunshine over sadness energy is just A+.

Meen vs. Tine

This one is hard. They're both such ukes, such little gaybies... But I like Meen more, so I'm going with him. He was the bright spot in the show where Tine was, ironically, one of my least favorite characters in his show.

Jin vs. Arthit

I had to give this to Jin. He just loved being pursued so much and all the attention and the little gifts from Bbomb just made him so happy. He couldn't help himself. Arthit just didn't quite have that with Kongpob, as much as I love them together. Different vibes.

Kit (Gen Y) vs. Wad (SOTUS S)

Kit is basically the perfect example of a tsundere uke. Like, he is the platonic (lol) ideal. And I love him for that so much. He's definitely one of my favorite characters just in general and such a little tsundere uke he has to win.

Karl vs. Gavreel

This one is a bit harder. Ugh. Like, you could claim it for either one and also argue that neither one is exactly an uke... but I'm gonna give it to Gavreel. Mostly for levels of realism. Karl is just so realistic it's hard to call him an uke.

Tutor vs. Knock

Yeah, it's Tutor. He was tough as nails but he melted so nicely under Fighter's hands and just falls apart and gets sick without him and that's just... such an uke thing, okay? SUCH an uke thing.

Mico vs. Jaime

I had to go with Mico. I love Mico. He's such a darling and absolutely radiates gaybie in need of love energy at all times and I still desperately wish that Hello Stranger the movie had given him more of a chance at the end rather than a rush.

Reb vs. Jim

... It's Reb because Jim just annoyed me mostly. Also, Reb is tiny and adorable and has that super innocent gaybie energy that makes him a bit more real but also a bit more uke. I dunno, this is what I mean about the definition of uke. It's hard to pin down for me!

Tong vs. Folk

Look, I get it, I'm the only person who preferred IttPai to PureFolk. I GET IT. But that just means I'm gonna pick Tong because PokTong was the best pairing beside MarkKit and also holy shit sex and holy shit the love they share that they damaged and hurt so much together... ugh, uke energy be damned, I'm choosing my favorite.

Paii vs. Wayo (2moons2)

Yo is ultimate uke. He's such an uke is almost hurts. Like, he always wins this. Every time. No question or hesitation.

Beam vs. Kit (Both 2moons2)

Kit wins again. Because Kit is a tsundere uke and, frankly, 2moons2 Kit is even MORE of the perfect tsundere uke because he also melts. He melts so hard and so fast and it's adorable beyond belief.

Mon vs. Shi Gu

Sorry, Shi Gu, but Mon is such an uke. Like holy sheesh this boy. This most darling boy. He's tiny and gaybie and adorable and PORTABLE and yeah, he's super uke.

Chon vs. Mes

I'm gonna give it to Chon because he's just... a bit more? To me. He's more of an uke and I love him for it. Tough as nails uke boy with a lot of of darlingness. Yeah, just gotta go with my heart.

Masuk vs. Nuea

I might like Nuea more but I think Masuk has more uke vibes. They're still weak but they're there and I just gotta give it to my darling Masuk. He's so soft and needs so much love and a lot of care.

King vs. Third

Third is ultimate uke. Crying in a shower? Weeping over everything? Very protective friends? Yeah. YEAH. He wins this.

Puth vs. Boss (My Engineer)

Puth just isn't an uke to me. He's got different vibes. But Boss? Boss is an uke and adorable and he just wants to finally love Mek openly and honestly and just be held and goofy and ride on his back. And seriously, love the boy.

Kao (DBK) vs. Kao (Oxygen)

Ugh, this is hard because I'm not 100% on how much an uke Kao (Oxygen) is and I don't really think about DBK ever... I'll give it to Oxygen. I love Oxygen and I miss Kao.

Chol vs. Xingsi

Xingsi wings this by being the most take over uke ever, the one who definitely wants to be spoiled but also knows exactly how he wants to be spoiled and isn't afraid to show it. Gotta love him.

Mu Ren vs. Yu Hao (Crossing the Line)

I gotta give this to MuRen. CTL had almost no seme/uke energy but they definitely went harder in CTY. So... MuRen wins by virtue

Pete (LBC) vs. Fiat

Screw you, they're both ultimate ukes. Everybody wins!

Yeon Woo (Color Rush) vs. Ki Wan (Ryu's Wedding)

I had to go with Yeon Woo. Like, I had to. What a darling little uke who needed to be chased and needed to be convinced and needed to be saved from himself and the other people who love him.

Hin (Chance to Love) vs. Hin (Lovely Writer)

Lol, I had to go with Chance to Love because, like, look at that boy. He gave up everything in the hopes that his seme would be happy and just... what a tiny darling. Sadly, Hin didn't get any romance. So... outta luck, child.

Aey vs. Yi Chen (Obsessed)

Obsessed is just all about the seme/uke dynamic. I had to give it to Yi Chen. Like, had to. Absolutely had to.

Pao vs. Ake

Neither are my favorites but I have to give the uke energy to Pao. Ake is adorable and all but Pao just radiates that 'I'm a baby take care of me' energy, especially as a ghost.

Phai (Gen Y) vs. Wayu (Gen Y)

Yu is the most uke uke to ever uke. Seriously. What a baby. And he's such an uke he has two semes fighting over him! You can't get much more uke than that, let's be honest.

Day (Sotus S) vs. Zon (WhyRU)

Look, I gotta be honest, I mostly just watch the Kongpob and Arthit scenes of SOTUS S. But also... Zon. Zon is puppy uke. He is tiny, tiny puppy uke and I cannot deny him that title. He deserves it.

Typhoon vs. Mekhin (Close Friend)

I gotta give it to Typhoon. I still don't like that part very much and I just want to protect him from his boyfriend ignoring him and I think part of that is what makes him such an uke. I just want to protect him so badly.

Team vs. In

In's not an uke to me. But Team? I'm good with that. I can handle it. And he needs that care and that love. Also, as I say every time... Between Us must exist!

Guitar vs. Ray (Close Friend)

Gui beats Ray by a hair. BARELY at all. But I just love Gui and his darling softness and just his everything... Ugh, Gui definitely has uke energy.

Type (2gether) vs. Sang Ha (Mr. Heart)

I gotta go with SangHa. What a darling boy. Type is great and all but their relationship is much more equal than anything else. And SangHa is just... this boy who needs to be loved and cared for and then to run alongside his boyfriend.

Sheng Zhe (Right or Wrong) vs. Shao Fei

I gotta give it to Sheng Zhe. I love Shao Fei deeply but Sheng Zhe wins in terms of uke. Like, he's darling and family and sweet and full of love and I love him so much I cannot even.

Frong vs. Duen

Duen gets it, even if I view him as entire asexual and, frankly, more than a bit aromantic. I genuinely think he dislikes being in a committed relationship. But... uke energy? Yeah, he gives out more than Frong.

King vs. Sky (My Day)

King is way more uke than Sky because Sky isn't uke at all. My Day was amazing for having such no seme/uke dynamic, yo. But King? Yeah, he's got that energy with Ram.

Ou Wen vs. Minh Hoang

I'm gonna give this to Minh Hoang. Because Ou Wen isn't uke energy for me. But Minh Hoang has some. Neither of these shows really does the seme/uke energy, honestly. But I can lean a bit more towards Minh Hoang.

Can vs. Techno

I'm giving it to Can despite the unconventional nature of his relationship with Tin and the maturity they show through the show. But I love Can and the want to care for him and I want to protect him. And the more I want to protect a character, the more I go with uke. (Not that I'm a seme, I'm just a sunshine puppy disguised as a person.)

Yu Zhen vs. Bunn

I feel weird but I'm definitely giving it to Yu Zhen. I gotta. I can't help myself. He's such a darling young man who just needs to be taken care of by Shi Lei on every possible level. I mean, boy still doesn't know not to eat gummies. Seriously.

Bonus: (Ga On vs. Da On)

I have to give this to DaOn. I can't help myself. I get the same energy from Ga On but DaOn just sends me away with the need to protect him, seriously.

Holy shit that took me the entire length of The Boy Foretold by the Stars, fyi. BUT I DID IT.

#battle royale anon #bl battle royale #thai bl #taiwan bl #korean bl #china bl #vietnam bl #bl drama #bl series #i could list them all #but holy shit i almost don't want to #love you anon #anon asks #anon answers

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bookofmirth · 3 years ago

Note

I'm not up to date with all the drama in this fandom bc i tend to scroll past it. But being a reader of the books before I landed in these fandoms, I'm utterly shocked about how people treat eachother.

I'm very neutral on this stupid ship war going on. I tend to fall more for Elriel. But I understand everyone's opinion. I used to read all the book analysis, but now it just seems so exhausting. I get that people love books and ship different people. That's normal, everyone has different taste etc i'm just here trying to understand why we need to bring other human beings down in order to push our own narrative.

Since when is it okay to do that???? Can't we have a normal conversation without sending death treats?

I normally don't really respond to anything that involves drama. But these last couples of months have gotten me to dislike the books more and more solely because of these, may I call them blandly, horrible people.

And i'm very sad to have to admit that i'm also getting sick of the art of the multiple ships. Which that's horrible because I love what all these amazing artists create. But the hate they receive and the comments just make me hate it all more,this whole fandom with all these toxic people ruining it for me personally.

Can't we all just agree that we like these books, and respect eachother as human beings, no matter what everyone else thinks? And maybe wait and see what the author writes? In the end it are still her books and she will have the final say in everything.

I wish SJM would release the next book sooner so all this hate would stop, then again i don't know if it will stop. They will likely continue and probably bother SJM too...

Thank you for listening to me ranting, you always seem very nice to people with different opinions, so I thought i might as well rant a bit too.

Have a lovely day!!

Hello! Thank you for this message! I think it's really helpful for people to see because they can see the impact of the things they are doing and saying in the fandom. There are a lot of people who feel comfortable being vocal in the fandom, but I gotta say, if I were just joining now, I'm not sure that would be me. I wonder how many people walk in, take a look around, and walk the fuck back out. I probably would.

I got on my soap box a little bit because I was thinking about some of the things you've said!

I was just talking with some friends, some of whom I've been in the fandom with since 2017, some who are newer. And we all 1000% agree with you. It's so, so frustrating that the fandom has gotten so nasty to the point where we've become so separated from each other that we can't have a single civil conversation. Where people of color don't feel safe, and where a lot of the fandom doesn't even seem to care about that.

When I first joined the fandom, there were definitely people who shipped one way and people who shipped another, but we were still able to have conversations with each other. There would be these really, really long posts that were chains of people commenting on posts and reblogging, then someone adding on their thoughts, then op would respond, etc. Yeah, the posts were super long to scroll through, but there was so much engagement, ya know? And it was genuine, too. We could disagree or say "hey OP I like this point, but have you thought of X?" And it was great! (I even have a tag for it, #long post tag, because I once got an anon who was annoyed at how long my conversations with people would be 💀so I made that tag for people who wanted to block those posts.)

I'm not going to pretend it was perfect - there were definitely people I didn't get along with. But that wasn't a fandom thing, that was just a personality thing. And I never in a million years expected those people to fly off the handle and start attacking me anon, or to ss my posts to make fun of elsewhere. Now, that's a constant fear hanging over everyone's heads.

It has created an extreme echo chamber. I would genuinely like having those old fandom discussions where people would comment - in the open, on reblogs - and then we could all engage in that discussion in public. Now, all of that discussion happens in private, in groupchats and Discord. And don't get me wrong, Discord is super fun. But it also means that 1) people who aren't in those groups have no idea wtf is going on when we vague, although I try not to do that anyway, and 2) when people are in those groups they egg each other on to be worse and worse. Worse than they would have been if they were on their own and didn't feel like they had a group of people there to support their asshole behavior. tbh, I have to check myself sometimes and think, "would I do this if I hadn't just gotten into a rant conversation with friends on Discord?"

And what you said about fan art, it's so frustrating!!! Since when did fan art become a battle ground??? Since when did the appearance of fan art = a win for one ship or the other?? Why can't the comments of those arts ever just be nice and appreciative of the work someone has put into it? Honestly, it makes me paranoid to write fanfic, too! I mean, is that next???

I totally agree with you that we should be able to respect each other as people. We used to be able to do that. I hate to admit it, but I have so many people blocked now because I just don't trust them. I don't trust them to be civil, I don't trust them to be able to see my posts, I don't trust them to even read what I've written without misconstruing everything I've said.

I'm not sure if people realize that there is a big difference between this:

I don't like X ship

And this:

People who like X ship are delusional

The first one is okay! It's normal! Like you said, we all have feelings and interpretations and stuff we would prefer to see or not see!

The second one, not okay! Stop insulting people, people!!!!

The idea of engaging in a normal, healthy debate with a huge portion of the fandom is such a foreign concept to me at this point, and it never used to be. There could be a lot of reasons for this. And I always try to avoid pointing fingers because I know that not everyone is like that, though I'm sure I have slipped into that from time to time.

I think it would help if we stop seeing each other as a gwynriel or an elucien or an elriel, and start seeing each other as individuals. When acosf first came out, I started noticing a trend where people would send me asks and write them as if they were writing to every single person who ships elucien, or as if they were writing to every single person who holds a certain opinion about Azriel. It was really confusing at first, and I'm gonna request that the fandom stop doing that altogether, to everyone. If you want to engage with someone, engage with that person, not your idea of who they are and what they think.

I'm down for conversations where we talk about the series and what might come next as possibilities, because that's all this is, so far. Anyone who says that "X thing will never happen" is making some bold claims, and it's really off-putting to people who know that that's not why we are here. It's not a contest where we "win" canon. It's fandom, where we talk about what we like and what we don't like and what we want and cross our fingers and hope.

EDIT I wanted to add on one thing - a lot of this behavior is incredibly shocking and disgusting and I think that we, as a fandom, need to be better at 1) calling it out, and 2) not assuming that whoever did X horrible thing represents all people from that corner of the fandom.

I hope that you have a lovely day as well! And that the fandom doesn't get you too down. @heleencollier

#acotar fandom #acotar #acosf #fandom wank #leslie being a fandom grandma again

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neonthewrite · 3 years ago

Text

Field Trip

Another contest prize! The request this time was for some quality fluff between Jacob Andris, a human, and Vel, a young wood sprite of Wellwood. Jacob is the gentlest giant around, so it's no wonder that little sprite wanted to hang out with him!

Reading time ~5-10 minutes

~~~~~

Jacob smirked when Bowman flitted towards him. As he predicted, the fussy sprite wasted no time scolding him. “Could you be any more of a stompy giant?!” he complained, banking in a wide arc around Jacob’s long, striding gait. “You’ll scare everyone off before you even show up.”

Jacob had put a lot of work into walking carefully enough to avoid that exact situation. Even knowing he could do more, he was confident in his skills. Naturally, that did nothing to stop Bowman from scolding him. Jacob would worry about the little guy if he ever kicked that habit. “Nah, I won’t,” he countered. “I had you to warn everyone I was coming. They know I’m on the way. Bet I’ll even have a big welcome party.”

Bowman scoffed. “Welcome party or not, you’re blasted loud, Jacob. No storm clouds to be seen and yet there’s thunder.”

That earned another chuckle from Jacob. “Dude, what’s got you so worked up? Trying to convince people you trained a giant again?”

Bowman groaned, and Jacob spotted the look on his face before he could flit away. “Bowman, you don’t need to fret about it. I’ll be on my best behavior, like I always am. No one will find a reason to scold you, at least not from me.”

Another little scoff. This time, Bowman swooped close so he could land on Jacob’s shoulder. With his perch claimed, he finally admitted “Fine. You’re right. But if someone gets upset, I might just get chased out of the village. Last visit a nestling climbed into your hood but I’m the one who got bopped for it!”

Jacob laughed, though he tried to rein it in with Bowman perched on him. “Dude, they wouldn’t do that. And if they did, you can just chill with me. That’s not so bad, right?”

“Ha. If any nestling gets in trouble, I’m pointing at you, giant.”

Jacob rolled his eyes, but wasn’t surprised. “And if someone tries to bop you, I’ll probably have to let ‘em. Wouldn’t want anyone to think I’m not trained, right?”

“Oh, climb a dead tree. And then behave. We’re almost there.”

~~~

Jacob had visited Wellwood several times before. It never went as badly as Bowman assumed it might, though not for lack of griping. Most of the residents of the village trusted Jacob to be near their vulnerable homes; he’d stood up for them against other humans before, after all. He protected the secret even from his own family. Even those who were still wary of him didn’t begrudge others a chance to visit with him. Jacob had no intention of forcing someone to be around him if they didn’t want to, anyway. He had plenty of visitors as it was.

True to his word, he behaved well. He put up a calm front for Bowman, but in reality Jacob was careful to watch every move. He didn’t want to break that fragile trust he’d built up with the wood sprites of Wellwood.

While some of the younger sprites came to see Jacob, with their parents nearby just in case, Bowman had spent some time wheeling about in the air, chasing or being chased by other sprites his age. It was a pleasantly uneventful afternoon, as far as Jacob was concerned.

He made his way back to his clearing near dinnertime. While the sprites all wandered home to eat, Jacob wanted to be well away from the village. Seeing him eat made them nervous sometimes, and it made him feel awkward. He’d go have his dinner at his camp and the sprites needn’t be bothered.

The clearing, his temporary residence whenever he visited, was just as he’d left it earlier. His tent waited to one side with some firewood piled next to it. A plastic cooler sat in the shade next to a bucket for water. He had a sturdy line tied between two trees to hang up some of his other belongings, particularly food he didn’t want some forest critter to drag away.

He took a few steps towards that line only to halt in surprise at the sound of a giggle. The sound startled him enough that he swayed in place from the sudden stop. It was not a sound he expected out here, not with the village so far behind him.

“Alright, very sneaky,” he said to the open air before looking down at the pocket on the front of his hoodie. An innocuous pouch of fabric, it fascinated most of the sprites that encountered it. They didn’t have pockets on their clothes at all, so he didn’t have to wonder why.

Gingerly, Jacob reached a hand into the pocket, wary of bumping into tiny wings at the wrong angle. A small figure shifted away from his fingers and another giggle emitted from the pocket, and he couldn’t help a faint smile of his own. Whoever it was, they were young and quite pleased with themself for their deception.

A deception Jacob would take the blame for, he was certain.

“C’mere, kiddo,” he said, scooping his hand beneath the miniscule sprite and ferrying them out into the open. Little movements fluttered on his palm as they settled, and before he even had them in view he felt little hands clinging to his thumb for stability.

It turned out to be one of the nestlings, an absolutely tiny child with wings too small to do more than flutter along on the ground. His light brown hair was mussed and staticky from the pocket, and his wings stretched out as soon as he was back in the sunlight. He grinned at Jacob as he rose to eye level with the would-be giant. “Hi, Jacob! I was hiding!”

“I noticed,” Jacob replied, amusement coloring his voice. “You’re … Vel, right?”

If possible, the boy’s grin brightened. “Yeah! I’m Vel! I wanted to see your, um, your camp! So I was real sneaky.”

That exuberance was hard to deny, so Jacob only shook his head ruefully. “You don’t need to be sneaky to come visit me here, Vel. I’m sure your parents wouldn’t mind bringing you, but you should have asked so they’d know where you went.”

The boy stuck out his lip in a defiant pout, and his little wings flared open in a show of confidence despite the way his arms still wrapped around Jacob’s curled thumb. “But I wanted to be sneaky! And my mama wouldn’t have said yes, not when it’s dinnertime. But I thought, maybe, I could just have dinner here! Then when we go back she won’t get upset!”

Oh she’ll be mad alright, Jacob thought. Just probably not at you. It looked like Bowman’s worrying earlier would come to pass and Jacob would earn a few tiny bops.

He looked over his shoulder as if he might see a pair of angry sprite parents darting out of the woods right then and there. When he looked back, he was met with some very potent puppy eyes from Vel. “Okay,” he conceded, earning another enthusiastic grin. “But you’ll have to be good, and you have to promise me you won’t hide in my pocket again, okay? It’s not safe for you to be in there without me knowing.”

Vel nodded vigorously. “Okay! Yeah! I’ll be good, Jacob, I promise!”

“Good, we don’t want to make your mom worry any more than she already will,” Jacob replied with a faint smile.

Jacob had no doubts the kid would do his best, but really the responsibility all rested with him. He sighed and determined not to let that thought worry him; it wasn’t like he would let Vel wander into something dangerous, and the kid really couldn’t go all that far on his own. His wings were still small, occasionally fluttering involuntarily.

He moved his hand closer to his chest, offering his tiny guest better stability as he continued towards his hanging food bags. “You might end up having a dinner of human food, I can’t remember everything I brought,” he warned.

Vel didn’t seem worried. “Yay! Is it candy?”

Jacob had to chuckle at that. He grabbed one of his bags down from the line and made his way to his dormant campfire to have a seat. “No, I’m not gonna feed you candy for dinner,” he chided. “You need something healthier to make sure those wings grow big and strong.”

Vel pouted up at him, but didn’t have any further arguments. He clung tighter to Jacob’s thumb as he settled himself on the ground. He watched the sturdy food bag curiously, eyeing the zipper as Jacob opened it up.

First things first, Jacob rummaged in the bag with his free hand until he found a handkerchief, little more than a worn swatch of cloth he’d meant to use as a napkin. This he set on the ground before finally lowering Vel down. “Here you go, bud. You can sit here so you’re not right in the dirt, sound good?”

Vel scooted himself to the edge of Jacob’s hand, pausing to survey the offered picnic blanket before he hopped down. His wings fluttered and his arms shot out to his sides so he could prevent a stumble, and then he grinned proudly up at Jacob. “Thanks, Jacob! It’ll be fun! I’m gettin’ hungry! What’re we gonna have?”

Jacob couldn’t help an endeared smile. He gently nudged at Vel’s tiny stomach, earning a burst of giggles. “Hungry, huh? Let’s see what I have, maybe we can fill that tummy right up.”

“I betcha have a lot,” Vel mused, dropping to a seat while Jacob searched through his bag. “That bag is big enough for a whole house! Maybe two!”

“It’s pretty big alright,” Jacob agreed. “Gotta have a lot so I don’t run out while I’m visiting. Then I’d have to eat leaves, and those don’t fill me up as well as they do for you sprites.”

Vel giggled some more, but was distracted from responding when Jacob produced a few clear baggies from the large canvas bag. Raisins, granola, trail mix, and a few other things that kept well were separated into the bags; Jacob set aside a few that definitely wouldn’t work (thankfully Vel didn’t notice the M&Ms in the trail mix before it was out of sight again). Jacob picked out a raisin and a broken shard of a banana chip, thinking they’d be plenty to get the kid started.

He held them out and Vel, his eyes wide, took both in his hands with an endearing kind of reverence. “Thanks, Jacob! These look really good! This … what’s this yellow thing?”

Jacob helped himself to some granola, but before eating any he explained the food for Vel. “The yellow thing is a dried piece of a banana. It’s a kind of fruit. The other thing is called a raisin. It’s a dried berry. They’re still good like that, I promise.”

Vel wrinkled his nose in thought, then eyed up the two unusual fruits in his lap. “That sounds like winter food,” he pointed out. “But they’re not cold!”

"Nah," Jacob agreed, keeping an eye on the fascinated little sprite. "Maybe they were cold when someone dried them out. I don't know how they make 'em."

Vel nibbled at the banana chip and pondered it. Jacob took the kid's distraction as a chance to sneak a few more bites of granola. Vel didn't seem as worried about it as most of the adult sprites, but Jacob didn't plan to take any chances upsetting him. The kid had an innocent trust in the would-be giant in his midst. Breaking that trust would be deplorable.

After a few minutes of quiet, Vel finally had a verdict. "I like this banana thing," he announced, holding up the piece he'd barely made a dent in. "You said it wasn't gonna be candy, but this is just as good as candy! It’s kinda hard but I don't mind 'cause it's really yummy!"

"Well, good," Jacob said with an endeared smile. "It’s good for you. Much better for those wings than candy would be " To punctuate his claim, Jacob nudged one of Vel's fluttering wings with a fingertip.

Vel squirmed away on his makeshift picnic blanket, clutching his banana chip close to his chest as he did. “Wait, wait, I wanna try the other thing too!” he said in between giggles.

Jacob relented and nodded pointedly at the raisin Vel had left behind in his scrambling. “Oh, that thing right there? I thought you were leaving it for me.”

Vel gasped and dove for it. “Nooo, I still want it! I promise!”

“Alright,” Jacob conceded, doing his best put-upon expression. “Go ahead and try it out. Whatever you don’t manage to fit in your tummy can go home with ya, okay? Maybe your parents would like it.”

And maybe a peace offering will get me out of trouble, he amended silently.

Vel fidgeted to settle himself comfortably again. “Yeah! I bet they’d like to try it. Winter food that isn’t cold is so weird!”

Jacob hummed thoughtfully. “I bet it is,” he said, sneaking some more of his own food while Vel was preoccupied. “I wonder what your mom and dad will say about it.”

~~~

Soon enough, it was time to head back to the village. The sky was turning orange at the edge of the horizon. No matter the begging faces he got, Jacob’s resolve only wavered a bit. He really couldn’t let the kid stay out too long without his parents knowing where he was.

Arriving back at the village, he had a feeling he knew which of the trees held Vel’s home. A number of adult sprites fluttered around it in agitated patterns. They barely noticed his return to the village.

Until he cleared his throat. “Um. Hey, guys.” He held up his hand, fingers curled for the security of the nestling sitting on his palm. “I had someone sneak back to my clearing with me when I left for dinner.” Vel waved at the nonplussed adults.

Several of them darted over to Jacob, heedless of his size. Among them was none other than Bowman himself, who came to a hover right before Jacob’s face. “What did I tell you about behaving?!” he scolded.

Jacob blinked and leaned back. “I did behave! Vel here is very sneaky. So I gave him some dinner before bringing him home.”

Vel was grinning at a sprite woman that had landed right on Jacob’s hand to check on him. “I was so sneaky, mama!” he announced. “We had fun! Jacob let me keep the leftovers!”

At least he had Vel to smooth things over. Jacob could tell by Bowman’s narrowed eyes that he’d be bopped later. “It was just a little field trip. Won’t happen again without permission, I promise.”

“It better not,” Bowman warned, as if that was all it took to keep a nestling from misbehaving and landing Jacob in trouble.

#mywriting #jacob andris #bowman leafwing #wellwood #vel #wood sprites #gt #g/t #g/t handheld #g/t fluff #jacob and tiny kiddos

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peralta-guaranteed · 3 years ago

Note

hc or ficlet of teddy proposing you amy again but this time jake decides enough is enough

(Read it on AO3)

“You’re probably wondering why I called you here.” Charles says in a deep, low voice.

“Are we not just having drinks?” Jake asks as he hands Rosa her beer and Charles his fruity rosé-tinted cocktail with a berry garnish.

“No! There are far more pressing matters at hand!”

Jake and Rosa clink their bottles together before the first sip, waiting for Charles to continue on his dramatic tangent, as he needs to do sometimes.

“Amy is going to a seminar in Staten Island next week.” He gives them both a deep stare.

“You might be surprised, bud, but I do know that.”

“Teddy is also going to that seminar.”

Jake stops mid-drink.

“I did not know that.”

“Neither does Amy.” Rosa cuts in. “Or she definitely woulda mentioned it.”

“He’s actually attended this seminar twice before, so I deduced that he’s not going for the learning material this time.” Charles leans back almost triumphantly.

“Yeah, it really doesn’t take a detective to figure that out.” Jake is trying to keep busy peeling the label off of his bottle, but Rosa can tell he’s clearly failing. There’s a furrow in his brow she’s rarely ever seen before.

“We have to stop him! He’s going to propose again, or do something romantic, or make a call-back to the seminar where they met, and Amy’s gonna get all confused-”

“My wife of four years and mother of my son is going to get confused by an unstable ex?” Jake’s voice is - bitter, Rosa thinks, is the best way to describe it, and she doesn’t think she’s ever heard that tone from him. Neither has Charles, it seems, because he backpedals immediately.

“Well, no, but- I mean- Amy is going to be upset- she’s been looking forward to that seminar and Teddy is going to ruin it!” He sputters, and Rosa can’t help but nod.

“And what do you suggest we do about that? We can’t keep Teddy from attending a work-thing, and I’m not going to stop Amy from going.”

“We can- we could kidnap Teddy just for the week, and then-”

“Kidnap a police officer.” Rosa interrupts again. “Because that’s gonna go over so well with the authorities.”

“Well then Jake can go to the seminar as well, and punch him out if he tries anything-”

“Yeah, because Holt’s totally not gonna be suspicious when Jake asks to go to a seminar that doesn’t involve some action training.” Rosa quips.

“I’m also not that big a fan of the idea of punching a man for, like, talking to my wife.” Jake grumbles, the label of his beer now completely gone, and only half-sounds convincing.

“It would be for love!” “It would be fucking creepy, is what it would be. Like I’m laying claim to some property or something in the most machismo-asshole way possible.”

“Yeah.” Rosa nods. “Amy’s a grown woman, she can tell him to fuck off herself, and she’s done it before. She doesn’t need us to bring chaos to her ‘fun’ little seminar.” She does sarcastic finger quotes around ‘fun’, but she also does know how much Amy is looking forward to this boring thing again - it’s her first time away from Mac on her own, and she’s planned her own trip just as meticulously as she’s planned for Jake’s stay with the kid, as if he has never taken care of his own child before, and kept her up to date on all of it in case she needs to jump in and help in any situation (which she won’t, but she might go over for a playdate anyway, just to see her godson).

Charles grumbles a bit more, something about ‘true love’ and ‘knights in shining armour’, but he drops the subject before their first round is finished and they can actually spend a nice evening together.

-*-

Rosa hands Jake a beer in return, once Charles has called it quits for the night because he has to go say goodnight to Nikolaj (Jake facetimed Amy and Mac instead and promised he’d be home soon, to which Amy rolled her eyes and said ‘Sure, babe. Tell Rosa to keep you out longer for some fun, please.’ the same way he had when Rosa had picked her up for a girls night two weeks ago).

“You okay?” She asks as she watches him peel the edge of the label almost immediately.

“Charles has really gotten into my head. I hate it when that happens.” He sighs as he lets go of the paper and drinks instead.

“Again: Amy’s a grown woman.”

“I know.” He’s fiddling with the label again after just one sip. “It’s just that all this Teddy-shit really does upset her. I mean, not in the ‘confused’ way like Charles said, which is bullshit.” The furrow is back for a second, Rosa notes. “But like… she just mulls it over in her head so much and it makes her feel like shit even if she won’t say it. I think the stunts he pulled at our wedding bothered her more than the whole thing actually being cancelled.”

Rosa nods as she takes her own first sip. She remembers Amy’s face when she realised Teddy was also at that stroller-contest thing she dragged her to. She remembers her face when they finally drove back to the precinct together too. She knows her friend, and if there’s anyone who knows her even better, it’s obviously Jake.

“So we gotta prevent that somehow.” She tries to continue the conversation without delving into Charles-level shenanigan-planning.

“”I just don’t want Amy’s first time off from Mac to suck because of some inconsiderate asshole. But I can’t exactly go along with her like Charles suggested, I have a kid to take care of, and also that idea is kinda insane.”

“Guess I gotta make sure it doesn’t suck, then.” Rosa finishes her beer and tries to ignore Jake’s gobsmacked stare at her. She doesn’t know when it happened, but at some point, apparently, she’s become willing to attend a boring seminar for Santiago.

-*-

Howzit goin

learn to write like an adult Peralta

also your wife will not stop talking about your kid

you love him

I do

but I don’t need updates on his bathing habits

no Teddy sightings yet but we’re also way too early because Amy. Keep you posted

Jake smiles at the text chain on his phone and makes a mental note to send her a picture of Mac in the tub later tonight, just to annoy her a bit more. Amy had handed the baby over to him at the precinct like she was going on a year-long world-cruise instead of just a five day overnight stay in another part of their own city, and Rosa had been standing behind her with her travel bag, rolling her eyes.

It had taken surprisingly little to convince both Amy and Holt that Rosa was actually interested enough in the seminar to join it at the last minute, and Amy had immediately included her in her itinerary, as well as offered to drive with her so she didn’t have to carry all her luggage on her motorcycle. Jake was going to owe her so, so many favours after all this.

The Mac-inna-tub picture only gets a grumbling emoji response, but she texts him again at around 9, when Mac is already fast asleep and he’s finally turned on Die Hard at the lowest possible volume to not wake him up again.

Teddy showed up

tried to say Hi (or worse) to Amy but I stared him away

going out for first day drinks with the group. I’ll keep him away. Maybe slip something into his drink.

why do I not question you having something to slip into drinks?

I can do more than just knives

don’t stay up all night watching all Die Hards. You gotta take Mac to daycare early tomorrow

Amy told me to tell you that

sure

and it’s only Die Hard 1 tonight

gonna spread them out over all the evenings

got one night left if you skip 4

The Holiday is on Netflix

you’re a good one Peralta

There’s no more updates until 11am the next morning, long after Mac has gone to daycare right on time, as he’s informed Amy via text to calm her down, and he was at the precinct only 15 minutes late this time.

Teddy pulled out the big guns

he had an actual ring this time. Looked expensive

There’s a sinking feeling in his chest, and he wonders what he should answer before his phone pings again.

I broke the ring

and the box

also his hand (‘accident’ - have to say that for liability)

anyway he’s out of the seminar now I guess because he can’t write anymore

so no need to worry

Jake tries to suppress his grin by biting his lip as he texts her back, Charles already getting a bit suspicious over him smiling at his phone constantly two desks over. He can probably explain it away by claiming he’s been messaging Amy, instead.

You’re my goddamn queen, Diaz

Amy is

but I definitely own your ass now too since I have to spend 4 more days in this shit place for you

There’s very few updates the rest of the week (apart from several pics of Amy either working, drinking, or lying hungover in bed in their shared hotel room - Rosa has resolved to make the whole boring thing a whole lot less boring, it seems) even as he keeps texting both ladies with Mac-updates and Mac-pictures.

Amy is all smiles and definitely not upset when they get back to the precinct and he’s already there to pick her up and hand the baby to his excited mama, and even Rosa spares a smile for the two Peralta-boys after the week she’s had.

He sidles up to her as Amy coos over her little boy giving her a hug and hello kisses.

“I really do owe you one, Rosa. Thanks.” “Dude, you owe me several.” She growls. “At least I won’t have to do that ever again. I’d say Teddy’s out of the picture now.”

“Because of one broken hand?”

“Yeah, I visited him in the hospital when he was getting his cast on. To ‘apologise’ for the injury.” Rosa grins, and even her sarcastic finger quotes seem intimidating. “Not even he’s that stupid to try and come back.”

Jake raises his fist, and Rosa reluctantly bumps it before both turn their attention back to Amy, who’s already chatting about weekend plans and offering Rosa a ride home. She takes the offer, if only to play peek-a-bo with Mac in the backseat.

#b99 #brooklyn 99 #peraltiago #jake peralta #amy santiago #rosa diaz #ficlet #my writing #academy dholes

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watching-pictures-move · 3 years ago

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Put On Your Raincoats #21 | Double Chinn Double (Double) Feature (with Hyapatia Lee)

By the time the '80s rolled around, Bob Chinn, best known for his collaborations with John Holmes (the inspiration for Boogie Nights), had been directing movies for over a decade. For much of that time, he'd been making them for peanuts (in an interview with the Rialto Report, he recounts being once asked to make a movie for five thousand dollars, which was handed to him in fifties on the spot), but in the early '80s, he was directing for Harry Mohney's Caribbean Films, working with respectable budgets (by porn standards). Some of these films starred Hyapatia Lee, one of the most popular porn stars of the era and one of the first contract girls. Now, I suspect these aren't necessarily the defining works of Chinn's career, and I do intend to get to some of his movies with Holmes. But Vinegar Syndrome had a sale and there were two double features of their collaborations going for dirt cheap, and because I am weak and foolish with money, they ended up in my cart and a few weeks later in my grubby little paws. How did this happen? Through the magic of Canada Post, of course! Anyway, what I found was that these didn't represents any extremes of artistic ambition. They were neither seeking to elevate the genre, nor were they hackwork. Rather, they represent a happy medium, movies that seek to deliver the genre's goods in a polished, diverting package. Slick cinematography, courtesy of Jack Remy. Catchy theme songs that wouldn't sound out of place if you caught them on the radio. Flashy titles. Lee recounted the atmosphere on set as one of professionalism and engagement, where everyone present wanted to do as good a job as possible. Chinn claims to have been losing interest in his work at this point, but the results onscreen are the result of confident execution by somebody who had been doing this kind of thing for years and knew how to put the production's resources to good use.

The first one I watched was The Young Like it Hot, where the operators at a phone company worry about being replaced by computers. To keep their jobs, they scheme to go the extra mile in helping their callers. As this is a porno, most of this help is sexual in nature, as when Rosa Lee Kimball stays on the line while an obscene phone caller played by Bill Margold finishes. (In an interview on the DVD, Margold says after shooting his scene, he was invited to record additional dialogue. Being the method actor that he was, he insisted on whipping it out during the recording session despite the lack of cameras.) Sometimes they are informative, as when Bud Lee (real life husband of Hyapatia at the time) explains why the perineum is referred to as taint ("cuz it taint cunt and it taint ass"). But the highlight of their efforts are Shauna Grant's increasingly life threatening home improvement advice to one poor sap played by Joey Silvera. Hyapatia Lee is ostensibly the star, and has a certain charisma, playing the supervisor, but this is really an ensemble piece, and she's joined by more experienced actors like Kay Parker and Eric Edwards. The latter I've occasionally found bland elsewhere, but he has a nice obnoxious quality that serves him well as the villainous manager whose idea it is the automate the operators' jobs. The movie reflects a very real concern (that's very much still an issue in the modern workplace), but overall this is a breezy, affable comedy.

A bit more serious in tone is Sweet Young Foxes, a coming of age story whose dramatic parts are more sensitively realized than I expected. The screenplay was written by Deborah Sullivan, Bob Chinn's wife at the time, and this is a case where a movie definitely benefited from having been written by a woman, and it seems like an earnest effort to capture the anxieties and yearnings of its young women protagonists. Lee moves closer to a real starring role, and is joined by Cara Lott and Cindy Carver as her friends, who aren't quite as strong actors as her but do have decent chemistry. I can believe they're friends even if their line delivery can be stilted. (That the movie has a good ear for genuine sounding dialogue also helps.) Kay Parker is especially good as Lee's mother, hitting some of the same notes as Taboo, and has a credibly emotional masturbation scene in front of a mirror that did not leave me unmoved. (In what way? That's none of your damn business.) This was shot by Jack Remy, the same cinematographer who worked on The Young Like it Hot. That movie looked nice and slick, but this one is a little more stylish, with the solo sex scenes in particular resembling magazine centerfolds. There's also some nice new-wave-ish music that shows up on the soundtrack, which I certainly didn't mind. I do wish some of the sex scenes didn't run quite as long (the previous movie kept them refreshingly concise) as I'd prefer more of the runtime was dedicated to the dramatic elements, but what's there is still good.

Body Girls goes back firmly to comedy territory, where Hyapatia Lee and the members of her gym are trying to win a bodybuilding contest despite a rival gym's attempts to undermine them. This comes in the form of a pair of schlubs in yellow tank tops who break into the gym after hours to sabotage their equipment, only to be foiled by Hyapatia and her girls who just happened to be having sex in the locker room as people do. Of course, despite Lee's attempts to teach them a lesson (which depending on your proclivities, may have the opposite effect), they don't give up, and during the contest threaten the judge at gunpoint. Not one to take things lying down (okay, poor choice of words here), Lee finds a way to influence the judge back in her favour. (The judge is played by Francois Papillon, bringing a dopey charm to the character as he fumbles through his lines in his French accent.) Her method is pretty ridiculous and certainly in service of genre requirements, but I did laugh.

Now, there's probably a dilemma in audience sympathy here as both Lee and her rivals are cheating, but Lee's methods are more agreeable and directed at the judge instead of her rivals so I guess we ought to root for her. She's also buoyant, charismatic and has a real star quality, and is joined by such fan favourites as Shanna McCullough and Erica Boyer, all of whom sport wildly different hairstyles. As can be expected given the exercise theme, most of the ladies have toned, athletic bodies (and given the decade, voluminous coiffures), with the exception of Tigr, who brings a wiry punkish energy that stood out to me despite her limited screentime, and she also performs the miraculous feat of making a mullet look cute. (I'd previously been moved by her work in Kamikaze Hearts, the great mockumentary about a porn production and her relationship with Sharon Mitchell. She didn't stay in the industry for too long, but I'd be interested in seeing more of her work.) The screenplay was written by Lee with her husband Bud (who plays the judge's assistant with an agreeable presence that's neither too alpha nor too schlubby) and is full of exercise-related dialogue. Most of this is pretty clunky and calling it wordplay might be a bit generous ("sexercise" features at one point), but I did appreciate the effort. Also as is requisite for the premise, the longest set piece in the movie is an orgy in Lee's gym with the various participants snaked around different pieces of equipment. I must note that one of the male actors resembles Barry Gibb and that Francois Papillon is shown to wear a tiger-striped speedo. Did I enjoy the movie? Yes, but not for reasons cited in that sentence.

At the end of Body Girls, Bud Lee suggests to Hyapatia, "Let's get physical", which is the title of the next movie. (Body Girls also features a character looking at dirty magazine with stills from Sweet Young Foxes and ends with a plug for some of these other movies, anticipating the MCU's narrative and marketing strategies by a few decades.) Now, all of these movies have had decent theme songs, but the one in Let's Get Physical has lyrics that are plagiaristically close to those of Olivia Newton-John's 1983 hit. (The delivery however is more shrill but not unpleasing.) This movie is a drama where Lee plays a dance instructor trying to put together a ballet performance despite her strained relationship with her impotent husband played by Paul Thomas. (In the interview I listened to, Lee speaks well of almost everyone she worked with on these films, with the pointed exception of Paul Thomas. If there was bitterness behind the scenes, it arguably helps their performances.)

Lee wrote the screenplay for this one, and unlike Body Girls with its surface level references to bodybuilding and exercise, the dialogue here feels packed with knowledge of the real thing, which is understandable given Lee's real life interest in dance going back to her childhood. (I looked up "Luigi jazz dancing" after finishing the movie and was pleasantly surprised to learn it was a real thing.) This movie goes all in on her star power, and features a number of dance numbers that seem genuinely interested in the form rather than just leering at the performers. (There is one scene where the song Lee dances to sounds suspiciously like "Beat It".) I did appreciate that the sex scenes were kept relatively concise and tied into the dramatic aspects, although in some cases, the choices made could be goofy, like the scene where Lee makes love to her student Shanna McCullough while Thomas, in a dramatically justified but still awkward gesture, watches from another room and jacks off. (I assume he's playing the audience in this scene. Also, McCullough's character remarks "I've never done this before" when going down on Lee, and yeah, okay Shanna.) Other highlights include a car stunt that may or may not have been lifted from elsewhere but still looks decently executed, as well as a dream sequence where Thomas (or his character at least) plays the piano and sings a song. This is held back a bit by the genre's demands, like when it places a completely superfluous sex scene at the end after Lee's reconciliation with Thomas, but on the whole this is probably the best one of the lot.

#film #put on your raincoats #movie review #the young like it hot #sweet young foxes #body girls #let's get physical #bob chinn #hyapatia lee

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wonderlustlucas · 4 years ago

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jack pot ; part 1 - hwang hyunjin

⇢ prompt You know it’s bad when you’re high as a kite and he’s still on your mind. ⇢ pairing hwang hyunjin x female reader, seo changbin x female reader for like 2 minutes ⇢ word count 7.5k ⇢ genre fluff, angst (not heavy, just in a slow burn kind of way), slight smut ⇢ warnings drug use!!! & lots of it (marijuana), grinding, implied smut ⇢ summary College is a matter of working hard and playing hard. It’s an opportunity to start fresh, to grow as an individual and to blossom with those you befriend. People come and people go, leaving their mark on your life and showing you all the parts of becoming an adult. Some, however, do more than leave their mark. Some take just as much as they give. Things become complicated once they take the entirety of your love because you outright offered it to them.—college!au ; stoner!au ; friends to lovers!au ⇢ a/n yo!!! disclaimer: this initially was going to just be a long one shot but i decided to split it up into 3 parts, so just to let u all know part 1 & 2 does not have a ton of hyunjin interaction, they’re more character/plot building. part 3 is when things will get spicy ♥︎ i hope u enjoy! if u rb make sure to let me know what u thought in the tags mwah also i finally switched from ___ to yn are u guys proud of me :)

prelude.

Sometimes you really, truly, honestly think you could go right ahead and kill Han Jisung.

You say it all the time. Sometimes it’s a simple, “I will literally kill you,” or when you are feeling extra spicy, “Sleep with one eye open tonight.” He, of course, laughs it off like you aren’t vibrating with the urge to kick his kneecaps in. You seriously have lost count of all the times he has brought you to the brink of insanity.

And honestly, you have watched enough murder documentaries on Netflix that you probably could do it, but, you know, spending the rest of your life in prison does not sound that appealing. Plus, there’s the ever-troubling detail that Han Jisung is the closest thing you have to a best friend. So, it sort of goes against your basic human morals to backstab—literally—the most important human in your life.

But he really makes you crazy. Why you agreed to share an apartment with him in the first place is a mystery, but the fact that you leased it again for junior year is what really makes you lose sleep at night. Because, while he may be your best friend, Jisung is the epitome of a little shit. If such a compound word was in the dictionary, it simply would say ‘Han Jisung.’ Somehow, though, it makes you love him even more. Maybe it’s true that ‘opposites attract,’ or, perhaps, maybe it’s because no matter how much embarrassment and general self-loathing he may have caused you in the past, it has benefitted you in the end.

For example, his constant teasing about your lack of friends eventually led to you befriending a group of girls you always admired from afar. His snarky comments concerning your nonexistent social life finally got to you and now you can proudly wear the title of one of the best beer pong players in your class. His presence in general has taught you to stand up for yourself and what you believe in, whether it’s against him, your parents, a toxic friend, hell, even a professor. Proving people wrong, especially Jisung, is your favorite pastime.

Sometimes, though, it’s not that easy.

There’s one area in your life where you have accepted defeat. One area in your life where Jisung has his most fun. One area, or, perhaps one person, where you simply cannot step beyond your comfort zone.

Hwang Hyunjin is your Achilles tendon and Jisung is the arrow. There are times, along with all the times you’ve considered strangling Jisung in his sleep, where you have sat and actually prayed to the gods to send someone else. Someone not nearly as perfect as Hyunjin and someone not nearly as unattainable. Alas, these prayers, hook-ups, Tinder dates, anything to get him off your mind has proved futile; because here you are three years later, stuck with this stupid, absolutely infuriating crush on the only boy who has ever owned your heart because you outright gave it to him.

one.

You are beginning to think the two bubbly junior girls who led the campus tour you attended last year lied about the dining hall.

Correction: they one hundred percent lied.

Because even though the newly renovated food court looks nice—unscratched linoleum floors, shiny marble countertops and all sorts of seating to choose from—there must be something fishy going on with the cooks. Literally. Just last week, an upperclassman had a breakdown when she forked into her tuna (why anyone would want college seafood is another story) to find a worm right there in the middle of it. You have found little shards of glass in the yogurt and bugs even at You-Cook, but that’s all a part of the college experience, right?

“Are you sure there’s no spiders or anything? Did you check?” Beside you, Maddie watches with furrowed brows as you spoon a hefty serving of scrambled eggs onto your plate. Chuckling, you move down to grab a few sausages and a chocolate chip muffin before they are gone for the rest of the day; Lord knows, you are only a month in and carbohydrates have quickly become your emotional support, just like everyone else. “Yes, I checked,” you assure her, hiding a laugh with your hand as she leans over to further scrutinize the eggs, “I didn’t see any arachnids.”

“Good,” she hums, satisfied with your answer, “can you grab a banana muffin for me? They’re usually at the bottom.”

Nodding, you turn back to the blessed muffin basket, pushing away blueberry, corn, double chocolate, all because Maddie has to be different and go for the macadamia nut banana.

“Are those the dinosaur socks they were selling on move-in day?” In front of you, someone asks, and your first instinct is to look down at your feet just to confirm. 8:30 calculus simply turns your brain to mush and remembering how you dressed for the day is near impossible. “Yes!” Laughing, you lift your leg to get a closer look at the cute green t-rexes on skates. “I was sold once I heard they were a dollar.”

Tearing your gaze away from said socks, you look up and suddenly feel as if you have bumped into an angel. Maybe there were spiders in the eggs, deadly poisonous spiders that crawled up the spoon while you weren’t paying attention and bit your hand and now you are dead and this is the angel leading you to the heavens. That, or this simply is the most beautiful human you have ever seen up close and your brain does not know how to process it. Well, maybe that’s a little extreme, but you definitely have never been so starstruck in your life.

The boy in front of you says something but you don’t hear it, senses and thoughts momentarily Off™ as you gawk at him. Aside from the deep undereye bags you all have claimed the past few weeks, this stranger is as close to perfect as you can get. Sure, Seungmin and his roommates are pretty cute—but what the fuck?

Something tells you that you have been silently staring at him, wide-eyed and mouth hanging open for far too long when his brows raise in a mix of confusion and expectation. Shit. What did he say? Synapses suddenly shooting like fireworks in your brain, you desperately try to remember his reply but instead, all you had focused on was the plumpness of his lips as he spoke and not the words themselves.

Clearing your throat, you blink once, twice, hoping you were hallucinating the whole time and the boy in front of you is not Hercules incarnate.

Lucky for you or him, you can’t tell, but he is still as attractive as he was two seconds ago. “Sorry, what?” You blurt, loud, too loud, flinching at the sound of your own voice. Instead of recognizing that you are totally off your rocker, he smiles, a soft, toothy smile that has your muscles turning to goo.

“I said I bought them, too,” cutest-boy-in-the-universe repeats, looking down and you follow his gaze, “my roommates were making fun of me, so I’m glad I finally found someone who bought them.” Alas, as he tugs at the fabric of his jeans to slightly lift the cuff you see that he, too, wears the same socks. You think you’re in love.

“Well, your roommates clearly have no taste,” you deadpan, shakily meeting his eyes once he looks back up. He laughs softly, eyes scrunching at the action and you positively swoon until silence settles over you and he takes the opportunity to regard you, gaze sweeping down your frame and up again. You hold your breath because, 1) holy shit, you would get on your knees for him right now and 2) you suddenly wish you were wearing more than the ‘just-woke-up-to-get-pegged-by-calc’ fit.

“I’m Hyunjin,” he finally says and you release all the air trapped in your lungs. “YN,” you return, grasping his outreached hand and thanking the heavens it is as sweaty as yours. “Well, it was nice to meet you, YN,” Hyunjin proceeds, releasing your hand and offering a gentle smile.

“You too, Mr. Sock Man,” you grin, rocking on your heels and realizing with a pang of disappointment that your breakfast has probably gone cold. Well, that’s okay, because right now you are totally content standing here in the middle of the dining hall, silently staring at this Hyunjin with a stupid smile plastered on your face. And the best part? He apparently is just fine doing that, too.

“YN!” Somewhere behind you, Maddie calls your name and it thrusts you head-first back into reality. “Did you find a banana muffin? I can’t find— oh. Who’s this?” Appearing beside you, visibly shocked having found you in a staring contest with a very tall, very cute boy. “Oh, uh,” you huff out a laugh, scrambling to get yourself together, “Hyunjin, this is Maddie, my roommate. Maddie, this is Hyunjin. We have the same socks.”

Brows shooting up at the puzzling introduction, Maddie bites back a laugh and looks back and forth between you and Hyunjin. “Well, you don’t hear that every day,” smiling to hide her confusion, she offers him a small wave with her hand full of muffin packs, “nice to meet you.”

Hyunjin smiles in return, gaze quickly returning to you. “I’ll be off, then. Gotta get the waffles while they’re still warm. I’ll see you around.”

And before you know it, he’s off toward the other end of the breakfast counter.

“Um, what the fuck?” Maddie whispers excitedly as you make your way toward your usual table, elbow repeatedly jabbing into your side. “I have no idea what just happened. I think I’m dreaming,” you sigh blissfully, relieved to find that Jisung and Seungmin were able to claim your favorite booth. “No, definitely not dreaming. He’s totally into you. You have to hang out.”

“What?” You sputter, nearly tripping over your own two feet. Then, lowering your voice as you near the two boys, “I – no, he isn’t. How can you tell? That was like, the cutest guy I’ve ever talked to, and you think he’s into me?”

“Who’s the cutest guy ever?” Jisung pipes up, eyes lighting up and you curse him and his fucking bat hearing.

“No one,” you grumble, smiling softly at Seungmin when he gets up so you don’t have to sit on the end, leaving Maddie to sit next to the other one. “Is it me?” Jisung grins with a flutter of his eyelashes. He’s convinced the only reason you dislike him is because you’ve actually fallen in love with him, but that’s far from the truth. You don’t even dislike him—he’s just one of the first guys you’ve met who meets your sarcasm with as much ferocity, and that is a hard pill to swallow.

“In your dreams, Han,” you sneer, gracing him with a dramatic eye roll before tearing open the bag of your muffin. Comfortable conversation quickly falls into place as you eat, complaints about your classes, Seungmin trying to convince you to join them at the first party they will be attending while Jisung mocks you for wanting to stay home, Maddie asking where Felix is and Seungmin explaining that he got so high last night he ended up staying up past four playing Overwatch and is currently sleeping past all his classes.

Then, in the midst of guzzling your apple juice, Jisung leans out of his seat to call down the aisle. “Hwang! Come pull a chair over!”

Curiosity peaked, you wipe your mouth with the back of your hand and crane your neck to see over Seungmin’s fat head for who this ‘Hwang’ could be until, like the universe is really trying to kill you, the Hyunjin you met not even ten minutes ago has reached your table. “Hey,” he grins brightly, dabbing up the two boys before he glances to you, mouth promptly falling open. Certain you mirror the same expression, you struggle to find your words as Jisung and Seungmin look between you in shared confusion. “First we share socks, now it’s these dumpheads?”

Ignoring the way they scowl, Hyunjin giggles shamelessly and grabs a chair from an adjacent table to sit at the head of your booth. “It would seem that way.”

“Woah, woah, woah. Slow down. You guys know each other?” Jisung scoffs in disbelief, pointedly looking at you as if you’ve gone and disproved everything he pegged of you. “We just met,” Hyunjin replies with a shy smile, sparing you a quick glance before cutting into his waffle. Jisung looks to you and you offer an affirmative nod.

“And how are you guys friends?” Maddie asks, sensing your panic. “He’s Changbin and Minho’s roommate,” Seungmin answers.

You choke on a mouthful of juice.

“Christ, you good?” Seungmin snickers, offering a few slaps to your back. With a muffled yes, you look to Hyunjin with pleading eyes. “Please don’t tell them I said they have no taste.”

He laughs, arching a brow at you. “No way. They’ll get a kick out of that.”

“Oh, Christ,” faking a cry, you bury your face into your palms, “so much for making friends.”

“It’s okay, YN,” Jisung soothes with faux sympathy, “no one wants to be your friend anyway.”

Scoffing, the table quickly falls silent when you look up with rage in your eyes. “I bet when someone asks your parents about you, they change the subject,” you spit, shooting daggers at him before stabbing your fork into an innocent chunk of egg. To your utmost surprise but total delight, the other three burst into a fit of laughter, leaving you smirking smugly and Jisung sulking.

“Anyway,” Maddie promptly changes the subject back to her chemistry professor who has started every class playing Britney Spears. Tucked away in your corner finishing the last of your sausage and stifling the urge to get up for more, it isn’t until Hyunjin begins to speak do you realize that you have been quietly watching him the entire time. You would blame the soft morning sunshine shining through the windows and illuminating the right side of his face for making him look so ethereal, but you know that isn’t the case; from short, messy black hair, silver hoop earrings, thick, defined brows, the soft curves of his nose and the pouty fullness of his lips, you are totally, completely mesmerized.

And then, the sole of a sneaker is slammed right into your shin. “OW!” You yelp, loud, and for a moment you forget the pain in favor of the embarrassment that comes with the number of heads that turn to look at you. “Sorry. Bit my tongue,” you lie, earning an unconvinced look from Maddie. “Go on,” you nod toward Hyunjin to continue whatever he was saying before directing a furious glare to Jisung, who fails to hide his triumphant smirk as he enthusiastically types on his phone.

Just as you have bent down to rub at your throbbing leg, your phone vibrates twice against the table.

han jisung [now] stop staring, ur lucky hwang is as dense as a rock or he would have left a long time ago bc of you

han jisung [now] so THAT’S the ‘cutest guy ever’ huh? so ur straight after all

Squeezing your hands into fists, you prepare to fire back a reply that will have him crying. But he has different plans.

“Oh, Hyunjin, did YN tell you she’s a dancer, too?” He exaggerates your previous mention of dancing and has the audacity to wink at you. Thanks, Mr. Match Maker.

“Really?” Hyunjin gasps excitedly, eyes lighting up and totally missing the flabbergasted what? that sputters from your lips.

“I – well, no,” you hiss, scowling at Jisung, “I used to do ballet when I was younger but that’s it. Why, though? Do you dance?”

“He’s here on a scholarship,” Seungmin explains, “and minors in creative writing.”

“Oh,” you squeak, glancing to Hyunjin who is all but smiling like a cherub, completely oblivious, “that’s amazing. You must have a crazy schedule.” Chewing the last of his waffle, he hums in agreement. “Yeah, it gets really stressful at times. But it’s worth it,” Hyunjin chuckles. Then fucking winks.

Unable to hold his gaze, you whip your head back around in a panic and reach for the mere sip left of your juice. “Speaking of crazy schedules,” he hums, slapping both Jisung and Seungmin on the shoulders, “I must head out. This was fun. I may start crashing the party more now.” Rising from his seat, Hyunjin swings his bag over a shoulder and grins brightly. Realizing it would be rude to not say goodbye, you force yourself to look back to him and offer a feeble wave.

“And YN, don’t bite your tongue when you eat, yeah?”

You’re going to pass out.

two.

Felix likes to think of you as his corrupted child when it comes to smoking weed.

A few weeks before you would all be returning home for winter break, he came knocking on your door with a proposition. “No one wants to smoke with me. Do you want to?”

This, for sure, was not what you were expecting on a cold Tuesday night in December. Despite the general curiosity and always wanting to ‘try it’ simply to feel like a teenager breaking the rules, you told him you never smoked before. “I know,” he said with a smile, “that’s why I’m asking.”

So, you agreed. Reaching for your hand, Felix snuck you out the window and led you halfway across campus to the junior parking lot, giving you ample opportunities to back out when he felt how badly you were shaking. “Whose car is this?” You laughed in disbelief when he unlocked a beaten-up Nissan near the outskirts of the lot.

“Kim Woojin. The junior?” He replied once you settled in the passenger seat next to him. “Oh.” You blinked, confused. “He lets you smoke in his car?”

“He gets me weed, too,” Felix giggled, reaching into the pockets of his sweatshirt and coming out with two tightly wrapped blunts, each about two inches long, “I’ll turn the heat on a little so we don’t freeze but we have to keep the windows open. I’m not going to have you hotbox for your first time.” You had no idea what that meant, but you agreed nonetheless.

With a brief lesson on what to do that truly made no sense until you tried it for yourself, Felix lit the blunt, took a few small hits to get it started, and then passed it to you. Holding it gingerly between your thumb and index finger, you brought the unlit end to your lips and sucked as he instructed ‘like a straw,’ breathing it into your lungs and ignoring the faint taste of smoke. Unsure of when to stop, it wasn’t until your throat felt as if it was on fire did you realize just how much you had inhaled.

“Shit,” you wheezed, coughing and choking and watching with wide eyes at the amount of cloudy white smoke that left your mouth and nostrils. Passing it back to Felix, you scrambled for the cold water bottle he brought along, downing half of it in one go to soothe the burn. “Good?” He asked, blowing out the window and turning back to you with eyes full of concern.

“Yeah,” you huffed, “give me a few, though.”

Humming in agreement, Felix connected his phone to the car’s Bluetooth and began playing what he calls his ‘getting high playlist,’ and before long, you fell in love with the feeling.

When break was over, you were dying to try it again. Felix was more than happy to be of service.

For all of March, it turned into a daily thing.

Now, you try to smoke only once a week for the sake of not dying, or something.

australian felix kjellberg❤️ [now] come hang at 201?

When the text notification pops up in the corner of your laptop screen amid your YouTube binge, your bones jitter with a mix of dread and excitement.

Dread, because that’s Hyunjin’s room. Excitement, because that’s Hyunjin’s room.

Maddie must hear your sigh. “What’s wrong?” She asks from her cozied position in bed, hand deep in a bag of popcorn.

“It’s Felix,” you start, “but he said to go to Hyunjin’s room.”

She blinks, unfazed. “And? I don’t see the problem here.”

“Well, I don’t know,” you count on your fingers, “first, I don’t know how to act around Hyunjin sober. Second, I don’t know how to act around Hyunjin high. Third, I am very touchy when high. Fourth, Hyunjin is always touchy.”

Maddie scoffs. “That’s a pretty lame argument, YN,” she laughs, “isn’t that what you want to happen?”

“Well,” she’s got a point, “yes, but it still makes me nervous. He makes me nervous.” Closing your laptop, you shimmy out of bed and debate changing out of your cotton shorts and tee shirt. Nah. You’ll probably end up going back to Felix’s and sleeping there. You put a sports bra and deodorant on and call it a day.

Maddie finds this hilarious. “You know what should make you nervous? The fact that you’re usually the only girl getting high with, what? Six guys? You know they all want to fuck you.”

“I try not to think about that, actually,” cringing, you try to erase Felix’s voice when he’s high as a kite or Changbin’s arms from your mind, “and you don’t know that. Sometimes Ryujin and Lia are there. Or, you know, you could always come. You don’t have to smoke, just come hang out. I know you want to give Minho a fat smooch.”

Her nose wrinkles in disgust. “I love you, and I appreciate the invite, but I don’t feel like babysitting a bunch of stoners, even if Minho is there.”

Laughing, all you can offer her is a shrug. “I don’t blame you,” grabbing your phone, wallet, and charger, you make your way over to her and bend over to press a goodnight kiss to her forehead, “if you need me, don’t. I’ll probably be dead.”

“Oh Lord,” Maddie cackles, watching you struggle to open the window, “don’t die. I don’t know what I’ll do.”

“I’ll try,” you grin, military saluting once you’ve managed to flop over the ledge. With one last wave, you close the window behind you and thank admissions for giving you a room on the first floor.

[9:34 PM] YN: omw now, gather your forces to help me in :)

Nights in 201 are always interesting. First, their room is on the second floor, so climbing through the window is an experience. Things would be a hell of a lot easier if you could just walk in and out of residence halls as you please, but with the officer at the front desk documenting who comes in and who goes out, there would be a knock at the door at midnight asking you to leave. Second: as Maddie said, 201 means the whole squad is showing up. And when the whole squad shows up, you’re bound to feel a mix of anxiety and desire deep within your bones no matter how hard set you are on Mr. Hwang. And third: you know you’re in for one fucked up night.

[9:42 PM] YN: hereee

Standing awkwardly behind their building, you try and calm the nerves that always come when you know you will be with Hyunjin. Considering how close the two of you have become over the past few months, one would think you would have gotten a grip on those pesky feelings.

Yet again, it’s kind of hard to do that when he looks and acts like that all the time.

When the window slides open, you are expecting Changbin to hang halfway out for you to grab on to with the rest of them holding onto his legs. Instead, a tall, metal ladder of sorts is pushed out until it lands with a thud! at your feet, granting you a perfect staircase into the room.

Well, you certainly don’t see that every day.

Blinking in confusion, you do not know whether to focus on the crowd of boys waving at you from above or this abomination of a stepstool that was practically thrown out a window for you. Accepting the chain of events as just another fever dream of an experience in 201, you shake your head and begin to ascend on shaky legs, graciously taking Jisung’s hand and clinging to both him and Seungmin as they help you into the room. “Thanks,” you huff, giving them both a hug in return to their chivalry. And they dare say it’s dead!

Behind you, Changbin and Hyunjin lift the ladder-stepstool mutation back into the room and it isn’t until they have folded it into a more compact piece and set it against the wall do you speak up.

“Did you… buy a ladder?”

“Yes!” Minho bellows, thrilled by your successful entrance. “Isn’t it great?” After pulling back from a hug, he keeps his hands on your shoulders just to shake you like a bobble-head.

“Yes,” you grunt once he’s released you, head swimming, “a lot easier than hauling both me and Changbin through the window, right?” Looking to said boy, you can’t help but melt into his side when he pulls you close. “No worries,” Changbin beams, rubbing your arm, “at least we have some funny memories now.” When he moves to flop onto his bed, you realize with a shudder that you are alone with Hyunjin.

Well, technically not alone since they are all right there, but alone in the sense that they are not paying attention to you nor him.

“Hey, YN. I missed you,” he singsongs, engulfing you in one of his monster bear hugs. Disregarding the heart palpitations they may cause, Hyunjin’s hugs are truly the best and you wish you would initiate them more if it didn’t seem like such a big deal in that smooth brain of yours. “I missed you, too,” you mutter into his chest, squeezing your arms around him as if to engrave this feeling into your mind forever. “We saw each other, like, five hours ago,” he reminds you, finally pulling back and taking your will to live with him. God, he has no idea.

“And? You’re the only one here who doesn’t make me suicidal,” you lie because, in reality, he actually does. Just in a different way. “Aw,” he coos, large hand squeezing your side and you think you could orgasm on command, “good thing we have tonight, then, yeah?”

“Yeah,” you squeak, finally remembering to breathe when he steps away to sit beside Seungmin on his bed. Suddenly, you are feeling incredibly grateful no one is next to Changbin because, well, 1) he is closer to Felix and 2), you need a distraction.

“Hello, Felix,” you greet the boy sunk deep in a bean bag chair, busy grinding leaves and packing them into the bowl of a bong. “How are you this fine evening, YN?” He asks once you have settled beside Changbin, brows knitting together when the older boy drapes his arm around your waist.

“Good. Tired, though. How ‘bout you?”

“You didn’t have to come if you’re tired! We all know you work your ass off, no one’s gonna judge if you chose to stay home and sleep,” Felix expresses, giving you a look that screams ‘mom.’

“No! I’m not that tired,” you assure him, reaching for his hand and squeezing for extra effect, “you know I wouldn’t miss this. You’ve made me a pothead.”

With a proud smile, he returns to his designated job and begins working on the second, smaller bong. “So,” stretching to set your things on the desk beside Changbin’s bed, you turn to him with a knowing smile, “how’s the album coming?”

“Great!” He beams, eyes lighting up at the topic. “Jisung is a great addition. Did I tell you we started meeting with someone else, too?”

“No, who?”

“He’s a sophomore, Bang Chan?” Somewhere behind you, Felix passes a bong to Jisung for the first hit. “Bang Chan? Holy shit, Binnie,” repeatedly punching his arm to express your excitement, “that’s amazing! I didn’t know he was into music production. Not that I’ve ever talked to him, but.”

“No, I get you,” he hums, giving your side a firm squeeze, “he’s really awesome making beats. I hope we’re successful.” Then, reaching past you, he takes the second bong and a lighter from Felix. When he resituates himself, he’s considerably closer than before. You don’t mind.

“Ladies first?” Changbin offers with a crooked grin, handing them to you. Then, on second thought, he holds onto the lighter to do the honors. “Sure. Thanks,” you laugh, glancing across the room to find everyone arguing over which color to set the lights to as they wait for their high. Bringing the tube to your lips, you offer a miniscule nod to him and then he is setting flame to the bowl. Sucking strong enough to generate bubbles, you unplug the bowl once he stops and breathe in as much as your lungs can handle in one go. Then, once you have exhaled, you quickly finish what’s left in the tube before passing it to Changbin with a pleased smile.

“That was a lot,” he points out once you have handed the bong back to him. “Hey, you’re the one who kept lighting it for thirty seconds. Mother would be proud,” you joke, reciprocating the same service and lighting the bowl until he glares at you beneath his bangs.

The best part about being high is the fact that you are constantly laughing. Things won’t even be that funny, but once someone starts laughing—you’re done for. You laugh so hard it hurts, and then once it’s all over, you realize it wasn’t funny at all. “Has anyone ever told you that you look like a squirrel?” Minho asks Jisung at some point. You absolutely loose it. It quite possibly is the funniest thing you have ever heard.

Pouting, Squirrel Boy leaves Minho alone on his bed to come crash beside you. “How are you, my tender oozing blossom?”

Squinting at him past the way your eyes burn, you make grabby hands and pull him close to wrap your arms around his teeny waist. Changbin grumbles in protest, but he’s too transfixed on the light’s soft in and out fade of different colors to say anything else. “Please, don’t ever call me that again,” you mumble into Jisung’s mop of brown hair.

“What?” He gasps, tilting to look up at you with puppy eyes. “You didn’t like it?”

“Nope,” smiling lazily, you rest your head atop his, “I love you, but I’m not ready for pet names yet.” His face morphs from a frown to one lit with excitement. “Holy shit, did you just say you love me? Do my eyes deceive me?”

“That would be your ‘ears,’ but yes,” you hum, brain simply not capable of denying it the way your sober self would. “More than Changbin?” Jisung whispers.

“Yes, but don’t tell him,” you return quietly, biting back a laugh.

“More than Hyunjin?” He counters. At this, you look up to find said boy sat with his legs to his chest across the room. Next to Seungmin, he looks like a giant; but a happy, pouty giant that keeps talking about how much he could go for a winter melon tea right now.

“Never.”

One and a half (half because it was just the rest of Minho’s terribly big hit that left tears streaming down his cheeks) and an unfinished game of Cards Against Humanity later, you find yourself in a blissful headspace. The song playing quietly through Felix’s speaker makes it feel like you are bouncing down stairs and then going up again, and the lights are oh so pretty, pink fading to red, yellow to green, blue to purple and so on. Things are fuzzy but crystal clear at the same time, the popcorn you’ve been shoveling into your mouth tastes heavenly, and your body feels like it is engulfed in a warm, comforting hug.

Or, that could just be Changbin.

Somewhere in between trying to get more comfortable and him yanking you to stay next to him when you attempted to get up and hug Seungmin for something sweet he said, you now find yourself on your back with a clinging Changbin on your side. You are so comfortable, but also insanely hot, and as you begin to slowly come down from your high as the hours tick by, you begin to realize it’s for another reason.

What started as an innocent hand on your side turned into his thumb rubbing meaningless patterns against your shirt, which then turned into his hand slipping beneath to splay against the warmth of your skin. Growing increasingly needy as the minutes go by, you turn to look at everyone around you. Jisung, who found himself returning to Minho, appears to be passed out with him on the far end of the room. Seungmin, curled up on the floor with a pillow and a heap of blankets. Felix, who finished off the rest of his weed, scrolls aimlessly on his phone still at the peak of his high.

And Hyunjin, who you assume has been fast asleep on his bed for a while now if the arm flung over his face tells you anything. For a moment, you feel sick with sadness. So close, but so far he lies, always a step out of reach. But you can’t deny how Changbin makes you feel—for right now, at least. And it would be a shame to miss out on an opportunity with someone else because the one you want is unattainable.

Right?

Changbin must sense the way your breathing increases, must feel the way your body reacts to the slightest of touches, yet he takes his time. He is soft in the way his hand travels up your arm, rough fingertips grazing over your collarbones before smoothing down over your chest and abdomen. It isn’t until you are about to burst at the seams does he give your ass a strong squeeze and urge your leg over his hips.

“Changbin,” you sigh, biting your lip to keep from whimpering when he begins pressing hot, open-mouthed kisses down the length of your throat. “Please touch me.”

He only makes a sound of agreement, savoring the way you squirm and grip onto his arm for dear life. When he offers an experimental roll of his hips to grind against you, you practically go feral. The last time you were touched in such a way was at a party in the beginning of the semester Jisung and co. physically forced you to go to, and Changbin has barely even touched you and it’s already better than the rushed sex you had that night.

“Wait,” he huffs, pausing his ministrations no matter how difficult it is to do so, “we can’t.”

“What?” You hiss, trying to keep your voice quiet, “why?”

“Because you’re high, and I’m high, and I’m not going to do anything unless you really want me to,” Changbin explains, pressing a gentle kiss to your lips when you frown in response. “But I do want you to,” you huff, chasing his mouth for another, “I trust you one hundred percent.”

“Are you sure, YN?” What about Hyunjin? is what he really means and you know he’s right. You should have never told Felix.

Trying to ignore the wetness of your underwear, you turn to lie on your back. “Whatever. Never mind,” you mumble, and when you glance back to him, you can’t help the way your heart soars with him still pressed closely to your side, blinking tiredly at you. But like he said, it’s not Hyunjin. “Just get some sleep, Binnie. Forget it happened,” smiling past the tears that threaten to spill, you ruffle his hair and press a softer kiss to his forehead.

“I’m sorry,” Changbin whispers, returning the affection with a kiss to your shoulder. In minutes, he is snoring softly beside you.

You can’t fall asleep to save your life.

Reaching for your phone to check the time, you grit your teeth once you realize it’s almost four and you definitely have been staring at the ceiling for more than an hour. For starters, you are freezing now; unlike these passed out hooligans, you are showing a lot more skin and not being under the blankets is not doing you well. And secondly, it’s hard to fall asleep when your thoughts are flying miles a minute.

Is this how it’s going to be, then? Whenever you see someone, will the little guy on your shoulder whisper in your ear that it’s not Hyunjin? Or will people deem you off limits because they know of your infatuation? People who know, at least—Changbin is the first, apparently.

Just need to get comfy, you decide, trying to ignore such thoughts and turning to lie on your stomach. Bless Felix for leaving the lights on, too—you may be coming down from your high, but the vibe is simply immaculate. Tucking a hand under your cheek and following the ropes of light on the ceiling and up the walls, you find this to be enough to calm your nerves. Enough to make your eyelids heavy. Finally.

Someone lets out a monster train snore. Seungmin, you think, biting your lip to keep from laughing. Or, it could be Hyunjin. The thought is so amusing you can’t help but squint at the boy across from you to better see his outline, hoping he will do it again just to confirm.

No, not Hyunjin.

Because he’s facing you, eyes open, a soft smile plastered on his face. Well, fuck.

No reason to panic, you console yourself, returning a gentle smile in the assumption he can even see you. And you stay like that for a while, simply watching one another for an infinite amount of time. It’s not much, but it means something, you think, lost in the way the contours and highlights of his face change with each color the lights fade to. Just as you remember the whole point of getting on your stomach was to fall asleep, Hyunjin moves. Reaching for his phone, you watch in confusion as he brings it close to his face and starts typing.

hwang hyunjin👁👄👁 [now] Come sleep w me?

You almost throw up in your mouth. You must be dreaming. Surely.

Blinking against the harsh light of your phone, you cannot help your smile as you reread the text.

[4:02 am] YN: wont that b a little sus for bin

[4:02 am] hwang hyunjin👁👄👁: If anyone asks just say he kept kicking u or something

You don’t need to be told twice. Now that he has turned onto his side facing the other direction, Changbin does not stir once you slowly move to sit up and stand, nor when you reach for the quilt crumbled at the foot of the bed to pull over him. It’s not much, but hopefully it will keep him from waking in a few hours freezing to death. Then, as you tiptoe your way over to Hyunjin’s bed, avoiding Felix now that he’s sprawled half way off the bean bag, you cannot tell if you are still shivering from the cold or if the fact you are going to be sleepingwith Hyunjin in one, tiny single bed is finally clicking in your brain. Like Maddie said, this is something you want, right?

As you draw closer, Hyunjin shifts to make room and lifts the covers for you to quietly slip beneath. “Thank you,” you whisper, pulling the blanket up to your chin and trying to ignore the feeling of being so close to him. “Of course. You looked real cold over there,” he smiles tiredly. Then, his arm cautiously curls around you to rest by your head, fingers swiping stray hairs away from your face.

“I was,” you admit. Eyes level to his lips, you strain to look him in the eyes to resist the temptation now that he’s pulled you so close. “Changbin fell asleep and I felt bad waking him.”

Hyunjin doesn’t reply. He seems momentarily lost in thought, brows slightly furrowed as he chews on the inside of his lip.

“Do you like him?” He finally asks, voice shaky with hesitation.

“What?” You sputter, shocked at such a presumption. Yet again…

“No, no I don’t. I mean—as a friend, yes, but, you know,” you trail off, squeezing your eyes shut. You desperately wish you were not having this conversation right now. “He was touching you, though. And it looked like you liked it,” Hyunjin whispers, thumb swiping against your cheekbone.

“I mean, well yeah, I did. But I’m not close enough to like him like that. It’s just a physical attraction,” realizing you are discussing what went down with Changbin to Hyunjin, you suddenly pull back and lean up on an elbow to get a better look at him, heat now spreading up your limbs like fire. “Were you watching us, Hwang?”

“Yes,” he admits, “it’s kind of hard not to.” Your heart stops beating.

“I – what?” You manage once you have remembered how to breathe. “I didn’t know you were awake, we wouldn’t have… what do you mean, ‘it’s kind of hard not to?’”

“You know what I mean, YN,” Hyunjin mutters, arm slipping around your waist and pulling you to lie down with him again, this time, your chest pressed to his. “I like looking at you. You’re very pretty.”

You definitely must still be high, because you are seriously having a hard time wrapping your mind around Hyunjin calling you pretty, as well as being so close, and somewhere deep in your mind wonders if he knows. If he knows how your heart is on the line here. Knows that with him moving closer, you are taking a huge risk.

When Hyunjin kisses you, you forget that this could be the worst mistake you’ve made in a long time. Wrapped around his fingers, you pray this is his way of saying he feels the same.

“YN!” You wake to Seungmin gently shaking your shoulder. “YN, wake up. Your phone has been vibrating for twenty minutes now. It’s Maddie.”

The wave of panic washing over you dispels the grogginess you feel from suddenly being yanked from sleep, as well as the recognition of where you are and who you’re with. Frantic, you sit up and nod in thanks to him before taking the call. “Hello?”

“Oh, thank God you answered,” Maddie cries, voice choked, “I’m sorry, I know you’re still out, but I just threw up and I feel so terrible and when I get up I feel so nauseous. Can you come home?”

“Shit, Maddie, don’t apologize,” you whisper, rushing to grab your things as Seungmin unfolds The Ladder as quietly as possible, “I’m leaving now. Don’t move, you don’t want it to get worse. I’ll be there as fast as I can, okay?”

“Okay,” she whimpers before hanging up.

“Thank you, Minnie,” pressing a kiss to his cheek, you begin to climb down. “Is everything okay?” He asks, watching as you go with a worried frown. “Yes, it’s fine. Just a little emergency, don’t worry,” praying no one is out and about watching as you climb from the back of their building, you rush back to help Maddie as fast as you can.

You stay back in your dorm with Maddie for the rest of the weekend, fetching her water and ginger ale and food she can handle, helping her to the restroom, and binging all sorts of shows and movies with her. Seungmin, Jisung, and Minho visit Sunday evening, joining you for a few hours to watch Pokémon. You think it’s just because Minho knew it would be a good opportunity to snuggle with Maddie.

You can’t help but feel disappointed when Hyunjin isn’t with them. You refrained from telling Maddie what happened in 201, too caught up wanting to make sure she was alright, and by now you are starting to feel as if it wasn’t even real. Maybe you made the whole night up in your marijuana-infused brain. And snuggled up with Jisung, you can’t help but wish it was this annoying shit you were falling in love with.

On Monday morning, Hyunjin doesn’t show up for breakfast. On Tuesday, you find out he has been hanging out with a girl he met at his favorite boba joint and apparently won’t shut up about. First, you run back to your dorm to cry to Maddie, having to explain all of Friday night to her. When she leaves for her lab, you call Felix for an emergency smoke session. When Maddie texts that she is going to be out late working on a project, you call Changbin to tell him that you really do want him to.

Like you said, it’s just a physical attraction, right?

⇢ part 2

546 notes · View notes

dc41896 · 4 years ago

Text

Stupid Roses

Pairing: Ransom DrysdalexBlack Reader

⚠️: None, just some soft!Ransom feels💕

Reaching the middle landing of the floating stairs, his hands grip the metal railing giving an impressive view of his toned arms in his baby blue short sleeve shirt as he shakes his head at the sight below him.

“I thought you were supposed to be watching the game with me?”

“I will,” you sit up from your comfy position, bringing your boyfriends cashmere blanket down from your face. “I forgot the Bachelor comes on tonight though, so when this goes off I’ll come upstairs.”

“The Bachelor? You mean that God awful show about women throwing themselves at some random guy and claiming they love him on the second day?”

“For someone so disgusted by it, you seem to know quite a bit,” you smirk.

“Only because I had an ex who was obsessed with it,” he answers descending the staircase. “That’s all she wanted to watch day and night.”

“Aww was someone jealous?,” you pout.

“Ha! Definitely not. She deleted a golf tournament I recorded so there’d be more room for some announcement special, and that was the last time I ever spoke to her.”

“So, I take it you won’t be watching with me anytime soon?” A deep chuckle vibrates through his chest leaning down to brush his lips against your ear causing a shiver to run down your spine.

“Princess, I’d rather go on a week long vacation with my parents,” he whispers against your skin before moving to kiss your neck.

“Fine, but it’s not that bad if you give it a chance.”

“Yea okay,” he snorts before disappearing in the kitchen to get his new box of Biscoff cookies.

Leaning over to pour yourself a glass of wine, your’re quickly sucked back into the tv screen now showing the remainder of last nights rose ceremony that left on a cliffhanger. You’re not too distracted though to not notice your boyfriend’s looming figure slowly make his way back to the staircase with eyes fixed on the formal looking man holding a single red rose, and the camera switching between those who had yet to receive one.

It took every ounce of willpower in you to stifle your laugh hearing him quietly curse one of the steps he tripped over being so entranced with the previews of the next date.

Throughout the episode, those long, “secretive glances would continue during his journey back and forth from the kitchen getting chips to counter the sweet taste in his mouth. Then a beer. Then napkins to clean up said beer when he tripped over the same step once again.

This is how you both ultimately ended up on the couch with the game being long forgotten. You, sat between his legs holding the half eaten box of cookies and bag of chips, and him draping an arm in front of your chest pulling you closer to his broad chest as you discussed your thoughts on the contestants.

“So far my faves are Kelly, Sarah M, Traci, and Lara. I definitely feel like they’ll make it close to the end.”

“Hm okay,” he nods. “And which ones are they?”

“Sarah M is the one in the black, floor length gown there. Then Lara is in the yellow- ugh, why would he give a rose to Veronica?! What does he see in her, no one likes her! All she does is cause drama.”

“And she has no sense of style. Where’d she get that dress from, the side of the road?,” Ransom adds, nudging your cheek with his nose so you’ll feed him a cookie after getting one yourself. “No wonder she chooses violence.”

There’s a comfortable silence as you both continue to watch the rest of the evening play out and girls become frustrated when they feel they didn’t get enough time before being interrupted. Gazing at the side of your face, a small smile forms on his lips watching your features scrunch and react to the different sets of interactions being shown. While he wasn’t one for trashy reality shows, he’d sit and watch you get adorably worked up and invested in people you’d never meet all day.

Well, maybe not all day.

“Let’s say I was the bachelor,” he states lying his chin on your shoulder. “Would you try out?”

“Well I think when you try out, you don’t know who the bachelor is,” you giggle as his lips peck your neck.

“Alright say you did, and we weren’t together of course.”

“I honestly don’t know-,” you answer causing him to sit up looking a bit puzzled as he shifted to look you directly in your face.

“You don’t know?”

“Let me finish,” you laugh before kissing the furrowed spot between his brows to relax his face. “I don’t know because I feel like me competing with a bunch of other women who look like supermodels and pageant queens, I’d probably be sent home on night one. Plus you know I don’t really have the same personality type as them either.”

You had a point. Unlike the women on the screen, it took you a bit longer to be open with people due to your shy nature. When you and Ransom first started dating, at least once a week Ransom would start to mentally question if you really liked him as much as he liked you. He’d even become frustrated sitting alone in his modern home as he thought he was possibly missing signals that showed him this.

It was as if you had been reading his mind when you brought it up over a private, candlelit dinner one night at quite possibly the best restaurant in town that, before, you could only dream of going to.

“I-I know I’m probably not as open about my feelings as the other girls you’ve been with,” you spoke nervously fiddling with the extra cloth napkin beside your plate. “I promise it’s not that I don’t like you or anything because I do! It’s just I get in my head, and don’t want to potentially mess up anything and I’m sorry-,”

“Hey, it’s okay,” he interrupts placing his larger hand on top of yours. Was he used to his prior dates and girlfriends telling every feeling and emotion from day one? Yes, but now he understood that until you were comfortable those feelings and thoughts would probably stay held in. And he didn’t mind waiting.

“You don’t need to apologize. I’ll tell you now that you don’t have to be afraid about sharing how you feel with me, but if you need time I get it. Don’t worry I’ll still be here.”

With a soft “aw” as his hand caresses your cheek and thumb grazes your skin, he leans in to kiss your lips only separating briefly before stealing a couple more.

“You’re right, you wouldn’t last long.”

Now was your turn to lean back, looking at him puzzled as you scoffed. “Wow thanks for the vote of confidence.”

“I say that because I’d know you were the one I wanted on night one, so there wouldn’t be any rose ceremonies. It’d be the shortest season in history,” he smiles capturing your smirking lips once more.

“You’d really know on night one?”

You weren’t questioning his loyalty, but you also weren’t gonna forget about his past playboy ways in this hypothetical situation of him being single and surrounded by 30 or so gorgeous women.

“Mhmm. Knowing how long you take to get ready though, you’d probably be the last to arrive but I’d still know,” he chuckles as you lightly smack his chest.

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onlydreamofmysoul · 4 years ago

Text

Let Them Eat Cake part iii (Wolfstar Bake off au)

Chapter three!!!

This episode on The Great British Bake Off, it’s pastry week.

I’m not going to jinx it.

Oh my god, I am so sorry!

As usual… this is as good as it’s going to get.

“Have you been practicing?” Lily teased, bumping her hip against Remus’.

“Lily, we literally practice together. You’ve been eating my pastries all week.”

Lily pouted. “I mean, I know you’re right but also I’m literally with you all the time and I’m running out of conversation starters.”

Remus felt a laugh overtake him as he slung his arm over her shoulders. “Okay that’s fair, I’ll give you that much.”

“Especially since you declared some topics off-limit.” Lily grumbled. Remus sighed as he looked up at the clear blue sky. It was one of those cold crisp mornings where the grass is glittering with frost but not a single cloud decorated the sky.

“Fine, I remove my ban.”

Lily actually squealed as they entered the tent, drawing more than one look from the other contestants.

“Oh my god, keep it down or I’ll revoke it.”

Lily’s eyes widened as she comically mimed zipping her lips shut. Remus swung himself up on her worktop, and she swatted his knee but he didn’t move.

“So,” She prompted, her voice low. “You and Sirius?”

Remus rolled his eyes. “Lils, I already told you, there is no ‘me and Sirius’.”

Lily shook her head. “That’s not true!”

Remus made a betrayed noise at the volume of her voice and she immediately hushed herself.

“Sorry!” She whispered. “But Re, I’m right. I mean, there wasn’t a you and Sirius at first but now… there’s definitely potential.”

“What’s there potential for?”

Remus’s heart shot right out of his chest and his stomach plummeted as Sirius hopped right up onto the counter next to him. Lily had visibly paled as the pair of them searched for an excuse.

“For… for the technical challenge to be easier this week.” Remus said, praying it would seem like a normal topic of conversation. Fortunately for him, being in a baking competition did tend to allow for the contestants to talk about it… a lot.

Sirius just nodded, seeming to go with the conversation and Lily and Remus shared a look of intense relief. On the outside, Remus was pleasantly chatting to Sirius. On the inside, he was plotting Lily Evans’ death.

“So, are we excited for pastry week?” Sirius asked.

“I mean, no but I was never gonna be so…” Remus shrugged trailing off.

“Ignore him, his practice rounds have been so good.” Lily endorsed. “As the person who gets to eat all of them, I’ve been very satisfied.”

“I’ll have to try them then.” Sirius was saying but Remus was watching the judges entering the tent. He hopped off the counter and moved to his own bench, with Sirius’ voice still jabbering in the background.

“Dude, I’m gonna be like ten pounds heavier leaving this show. Like wow, everything tastes so good I just want to eat it all.”

Lily’s laugh was interrupted by someone in the crew calling Sirius.

“Duty calls.” He said, saluting Remus and Lily before dashing off to the front of the tent, holding the attention of everyone in the room in the way that only someone with Sirius’ charisma could manage. James came close, but no one was quite on Sirius’ level. Which was good. Remus could barely handle one Sirius Black, never mind if there were two.

“Okay and we’re rolling in three, two, one.” Marlene called, signalling that the camera had begun.

“Welcome back bakers! It’s the week we’ve all been waiting for!”

“No James, it’s the week you’ve been waiting for.”

“That’s basically the same thing. It’s pastry week!”

“Today our lovely judges have asked you to prepare a tart or pie made with puff pastry.” Sirius said, gesturing to McGonagall and Dumbledore.

“The fillings are, as usual, yours to interpret, but it should be eight inches in diameter and have a clear design on top.”

“On your marks,”

“Get set,”

“Bake!”

And once again, they were off. Remus began work at a leisurely pace. He wasn't worried this week. Pastries were something he made quite often, his mother had a particular fondness for them so Remus made sure there were nearly always some in the house. He was making a lemon meringue pie and could probably make it with his eyes closed at this point.

Was it too early in the competition for him to feel this calm? Possibly. Was Remus going to question it? Nope, he would take any break from the nerves that he could get.

“He set about making the pastry first - it needed time to rest in the fridge and Remus wanted to allow as much time for that as possible. He soon settled into the familiar cathartic movements or cubing the butter and sieving flour, wishing he could have his music blasting like he did at home. Baking meant music playing as loud as humanly possible.

He rolled his dough into a ball, wrapped it in cellophane and popped it in the fridge, clicking the button on the kettle as he retired to his station, pulling out a pot and a clean whisking bowl. He made the lemon curd quickly, adding a generous amount of lemon zest to make sure the flavour was there before setting it aside to cool and whipping up some egg whites and sugar to make a meringue mix.

“You look confident.” Lily commented as Remus finished making his cup of tea, his meringue still wishing in the bowl.

“I don’t want to jinx it but… I am?” I feel like pastry week is the one I was born to do.

Lily laughed at his theatrics. “Going for star baker again I see.” But Remus shook his head.

“Nah I’m not that confident… I’m just not worried about going home this week. Does that make sense?”

Lily nodded smiling. Remus stuck out his tongue at her cheekily before turning back to work.

“I’d be careful where you put that tongue Lupin.” Sirius said, appearing besides Remus in the manner in which only Sirius could move, flowing gracefully through a room. Remus tried so hard not to blush. He failed.

(But it was hot in the tent, so that would explain it… right?)

“It seems like a valuable commodity, you being on a baking show and all. Wouldn’t want you to lose your main asset.

Now if Remus were one; not on national television, two; a person who could deliver smooth lines well and three; talking to anyone other than his celebrity crush he might have said something along the lines of “Will you take care of it for me then?”

But Remus was on national television, he wasn’t smooth, this was Sirius Black and to be perfectly honest, that was a really terrible, cringy line that didn’t make all that much sense but Remus never claimed to be good at this.

Instead he just continued blushing and laughed nervously, hoping it would cover up his little pause.

“I already have an official taste tester, so I’m sure I’d get along just fine.”

“Did someone say ‘official taste tester’?” James chimed in, appearing on the other side of Remus.

“Okay, no offence but take this as your official eviction notice, there are too many people behind this bench.” Remus said, his tone joking but he also meant the words. He would chat later, now he needed to get back to work.

“Oh how you wound us!” James cried, clutching his chest. Sirius pretended to break down in tears before they both grinned and Remus and promptly went off to bug someone else. Remus shook his head fondly and set back to work. He rolled out his pastry and lined the tin, adding some (frankly, beautiful) crimping detail on the edge and popping it into the oven for fifteen minutes for a blind bake.

“Here we go.” He half sang, dragging out the last word as he pulled the tin out of the oven and ladled in his lemon curd. He piped on the meringue and took out the little blowtorch he had to finish it.

“I have a weapon!” He declared, brandishing it to Lily and Tonks on the bench next to him burst out laughing.

“Who would have thought that the innocent little Lupin would have so much fun with something so dangerous.” She teased.

“Oi!” Remus protested. “Who’s calling me innocent?”

Lily looked at him like he had lost his head. “Have you not been keeping up with Bake Off Twitter?”

“Uh, no? Should I be?”

“Yes!” Lily and Tonks enthused at the same time.

“It’s like, my only source of entertainment at this point.” Peter chimed in and Remus looked around in confusion.

“Am I the only one who didn’t know about this?”

Lily shrugged. “I guess so.”

Sighing, Remus turned back to his pie. All he wanted to do now was whip out his phone and check out what was being said, but he had a cake to make. Or really, a pie to furnish.

Ever so carefully, Remus turned on the blowtorch and began moving it over the top of his creation, watching the white piping turn a beautiful gold.

“I’m kind of obsessed with the blue flame, I’m not going to lie.” Sirius said, coming up to Remus once again and Remus really wasn’t sure how he was supposed to handle fire and Sirius Black at the same time. This competition sure was testing more than his ability to bake.

“How long do we have left?” He asked instead of replying.

“Two minutes.” Sirius confirmed, just before James announced it to the entire room from the other side of the tent.

Remus nodded, biting his lip in concentration as he tidied up the finishing touches of his presentation, very aware of Sirius’ eyes on him the whole time, and then time was up.

“Okay bakers, set your creations on the end of your bench please.” Sirius said and the judges came into the tent.

“Mr Lupin, we’ll start with you today.” Dumbledore announced pleasantly and Remus smiled, the nerves that had been absent all morning making an appearance.

Dumbledore cut into the pie and Remus couldn’t stop himself from smiling when it looked perfect on the inside.

“The flavours in this are excellent.” McGonagall commented, going for another bite. Remus bit down his grin.

“Thank you.”

“I would have liked to maybe see a little more decoration on top.” Dumbledore said and Remus nodded along. “But otherwise, this was a lovely treat. I do have an affinity for lemon, you know.”

Remus beamed as they moved away. Pastry week was off to a good start.

“Thank god it’s lunch.” Lily groaned, throwing herself into a chair. “I know we have stools in the tent but, it’s just not the same.”

“Preach!” Tonks cried, collapsing down next to her.

Peter shuffled in, a few of the other contestants joining them. Sirius and James filtered over from where they had been chatting to the judges. Remus pulled out his phone so that he could finally look at Twitter.

“Remus Lupin is such a sweetheart, I would die for him.”

“Remus Lupin blushing is my new religion.”

“Has anyone else noticed the way Sirius looks at Remus? No? Just me?”

The last one caused Remus’ apparently infamous blush to appear. He really hoped Sirius hadn’t seen that one. Remus was just kidding himself if he thought Sirius hadn’t. He had been in the media since he was small - both his parents being famous politicians. Sirius was famously separated from the rest of the Black clan, leaving them and making his own life. He had jumped around jobs for a little while, Remus remembered reading once in an interview Sirius had done in some newspaper, before falling in love with presenting. He had been appearing on shows ever since.

“I’m so ready to just go to sleep now.” Peter groaned and Remus nodded in agreement.

“Seconded.” He said, wishing he could just close his eyes for a few moments. Sadly, the show must go on.

“How about we all go get dinner after we finish filming today?” Sirius suggested. Suddenly Remus was wide awake. The end of the day couldn’t come quick enough.

“Today for our technical challenge, our judges would like you to make six identical apple turnovers.” Sirius announced.

“They should have a buttery, flaky pastry with a soft, sweet filling.” James continued. “Everything you need can be found under the cloth on your bench.”

Remus eyed the blue and white checked cloth, keeping it’s secrets hidden.

“Do our judges have anything they say before they go?”

“Make sure you watch out for the colour.” McGonagall said vaguely and with that, they were gone.

“Well that was helpful.” Remus muttered to Lily as they uncovered their ingredients, Lily giggling at him.

“Have you ever made these before?” She asked.

“Um… Once maybe?” Remus said, scrunching up his nose in thought. “But it was years ago. Have you?”

Lily shook her head. “No. I’m not sure why because I love them, but I’ve never made them.”

Remus nodded and picked up the sheet of ingredients, scanning the instructions quickly.

“They seem… pretty okay?”

“That’s what I was thinking too.” Lily agreed. “Which is making me nervous.”

Remus chuckled and nodded his head. “I suppose we’d better get to it then.”

“I would suppose so.” Lily agreed and that was the most they spoke for another while.

Remus made his dough, set it aside and prepared the apples, the actions new but familiar enough that his brain could tune out a little. His traitorous mind wandered to Sirius, to the tweets talking about the way Sirius looked at him. Remus could almost imagine it, him icing a cake, biting his lip in concentration while Sirius looked on, wishing he could be the one to take his lip between his teeth-

Remus shook himself out of his thoughts. That was crazy. Sirius didn’t look at him that way and he was only teasing himself to let himself fantasise about it.

He filled his pastries carefully, not wanting to over fill them or the dough would split, but if he under-stuffed them, they would just look collapsed and sad. He crimped the edges with a fork and using a knife, carefully cut slits in the dough to let the steam escape. Finally, he brushed the tops with an egg wash and sprinkled sugar over them before placing the tray into the oven.

Bake until cooked the recipe said and Remus groaned. Would it kill them to be a little more specific.

He turned around and saw Lily make a face at her recipe and smiled, knowing she was thinking the same thing. He crouched down and peeked into his oven, watching the dough cook.

“A watched pot never boils.”” Sirius chirped from above him and Remus looked up.

“Good thing this isn’t a pot then.”

Sirius snorted and hopped onto Remus’ counter. “How’re things going?”

“Pretty okay? So far today everything’s gone right, so I’m trying not to jinx it.”

Sirius laughed. “That’s fair. I won’t ask you any more so.”

“I’d appreciate that.” Remus grinned. “So, tonight? Don’t we all have dinner together anyway?”

Sirius shrugged. “At different times though! I mean, I know we have to stay in the hotel to protect our little bake off bubble but I thought maybe we could pretend it was a real night out, get dressed up, all that kind of thing.”

Remus nodded. “Sounds good.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Remus barely dared to breathe as they held eye contact for a moment, but then Sirius coughed and jumped down and Remus looked in on his turnovers, the moment nothing more than a blip on his radar.

(A blip he would think about a lot).

(But it was just a blip).

Remus looked at his pastries. Fuck, they were a little darker than he would have liked. Not burned, but still not the nice golden Remus had wanted. Fucking Sirius with his gorgeous fucking face and his maddening smile and his dumb ideas.

Remus set his pastries out on the plate he would present them on with a sigh. They weren’t bad, really they weren’t. But they could have been perfect.

Fucking Sirius Black.

(But damn if Remus wasn’t enamoured).

Sirius and James called time up and the bakers all made their way to the table at the front of the tent to put their baking behind their pictures for the blind judge. Remus waited patiently at the side for a moment as the people crowded around the table, waiting until there was more room. Finally he stepped up next to Peter and was just putting his plate down when Peter, who was talking to Tonks, waved his hands in a dramatic hand gesture and knocked the plate right out of Remus’ hands.

There was nothing Remus could do. From the moment Peter had made contact, Remus was doomed, unable to catch the plate. He could only watch in horror as his pastries crashed to the floor.

“Oh my god, Remus I am so sorry!” Peter cried in horror, dropping to his knees to Remus’ aid.

“It’s okay Pete.” He said, his throat tight. Just needing a minute to figure out what the fuck to do. Sirius was there in a heartbeat, salvaging two of the turnovers and putting them on a plate.

“Hey, Re, don’t worry, I’ll go talk to the judges now, it’ll be fine, I promise.”

Remus met his eyes and smiled tightly. “Thanks.”

Peter was still apologising profusely so Remus stood up and turned to him. “Pete, it’s fine really. It was an accident.”

They all sat down on their stools and Lily took Remus’ hand in hers. He squeezed it a little trying not to panic. This wasn’t his fault.

James and Sirius arrived just a second before the judges, having explained the situation. McGonagall and Dumbledore went to Remus’ first, still not knowing of course that the disaster turnovers belonged to him.

“I heard there was a bit of an accident.” Dumbledore said, eyeing the plate. “But never mind that, we’ll judge based on this one.

Remus let out a breath of relief as the pastry was cut down the middle and McGonagall and Dumbledore both took a bite.

“Slightly overbaked.” McGonagall commented. “But otherwise, quite good. I like the apple to pastry ratio.”

Dumbledore nodded. “Overall, quite good.”

Remus let out a breath of relief, having experienced the most stress he had encountered so far on the competition. The judges went through the rest of the pastries, and were quite impressed. They had all produced some decent bakes.

Remus came fourth, Lily came second. Peter had come fifth and Tonks won it. The rest of the contestants filed in the other slots.

Peter apologies again as Remus helped tidy his station and gather his things but Remus just smiled tiredly. “Pete, it’s really fine. There’s no harm done.”

Peter smiled gratefully and moved away. Remus walked back to the hotel with Lily, ready to relax.

“Are you wearing a shirt?” Lily yelled from the bathroom.

“Yeah but with skinny jeans. Dress that shit down.”

Lily snorted as she emerged into the bedroom wearing a floaty sort of dress that stopped just above the knee.

“Oh you look great!” Remus enthused as she gave him a little twirl.

“Yeah and you look hot. Who would have thought the bookworm could have such scandalous jeans!”

Remus blushed. “They’re not that bad.”

“Remus they’re practically painted on. But it’s great. Sirius will love them.”

Remus rolled his eyes. “Yeah as if I was thinking about Sirius when I got dressed.”

(He was thinking about Sirius when he got dressed).

“You ready to go down?” She asked, holding out her elbow like a gentleman escorting a lady to a dance. Remus chuckled and linked her arm and together they strolled down to the hotel’s restaurant

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t Britain's favourite bakers!” James declared as he strolled up to them just inside the restaurant. They both laughed but Remus didn’t miss the pink stain on Lily’s cheeks.

“Grab a seat anywhere.” James said, gesturing to the one long table, already half-filled with contestants and crew alike.

“The host even on your night off!” Lily joked and James grinned.

“What can I say? I give the people what they want.”

Remus and Lily went to sit down, slotting in by Tonks, Marlene and Peter. Sirius and James joined them a couple of minutes later and the night kicked off. No one was drinking - they were filming the next morning. None of the bakers were risking being anything less than on top of their game and the rest of the crew were up a lot earlier to get the set prepared, but they didn’t need it. The food was good, the conversation was good and the people… well the people were great.

“So how did you get into presenting?” Lily asked Sirius as they all dung into their main course.

James and Sirius grinned at it. “Well Jamie always knew it was what he wanted to do,” Sirius said, ruffling James’ hair and laughing when James tried to shove him off. “He was insufferable in school, always doing dramatic presentations and the like. I realised one day when I came to pick him up from the set of a show and, I don’t know, I just thought ‘hey I could do this’.”

Remus smiled at the careful nonchalance Sirius had, it was almost as if he didn’t realise what an icon he’d become in the country.

“How did you all get into baking?”

Lily blushed, looking down at her plate, Remus burst out laughing, already knowing the story.

“Her sister told her she wouldn’t be able to bake well and Lily had to prove her wrong.” He told them and the table burst out laughing.

“In my defence,” Lily protested, “That was only for that first time! I realised I loved it and that’s why I bake now.”

“I don’t believe you.” Tonks said as he took a bite of her food, ducking when Lily threw a balled up napkin at her head.

“How about you Remus?” Sirius asked and Remus looked to his left to see those grey eyes trained on him.

“My mom always baked.” He said with a shrug. “I always used to help her. I don’t even remember when I started doing it myself, it was so long ago. I suppose it’s just something I’ve always done.”

Sirius smiled. “That’s nice.”

“Well I,” Tonks interjected, “Was forced to start baking in school. I hated it.”

Remus looked at her incredulously. “What?”

“Yeah! But then there was this cake I had to make for one of my exams and it was so good. And I wanted to eat it one day, so I made it, and I realised I didn’t actually hate baking, I just hated baking in school.”

“Okay but, does Bake Off not remind you of school?” Peter asked.

“Oh yeah,” Tonks agreed, nodding empathically. “I’m having major flashbacks. I have no idea how I thought this would be a good idea.”

“Tonks, I say this with love, but you are an idiot.” Remus wheezed, tears building in his eyes from laughing.

The desserts came out and the waitress with ‘Dorcas’ on her name tag joked that she hoped they would be up to standards. Remus didn’t miss the way Marelene’s eyes followed her around the room. He looked up and saw Sirius noticing him notice. Their eyes met and Remus couldn’t fully express what it was, but something passed between them. Remus grinned and lifted a forkful of cake to his mouth, holding eye contact throughout. Sirius bit his lip and grinned.

It was a good night.

“Hello again bakers! As you well know, it’s time for our Showstopper challenge!” James said, grinning broadly. “This time, our judges are looking for a savoury twist.”

“They would like you to prepare twenty four amuse-bouche, made with filo pastry and of course, with a savoury filling of your choice.” Sirius continued

“Judges, any words of advice?”

“The trick to filo pastry is to try to stretch it as thin as possible.” Dumbledore said, and with that, the pair of them left the tent.

“Eloquent as ever.” James joked. “Alright, ready?”

“Set.”

“Bake!”

“Here we go again…” Tonks drawled, dragging out the last word. Remus shot her a grin.

“I hope you don’t feel like you’re back in school.” He teased. Tonks threw an onion at him. Things were good.

“Are you able to get the window pane?” Lily asked, lifting up on her tip-toes to try to peer over at Remus’ bench.

Remus lifted up his dough, stretching it and holding it up to the light. ‘Window panes’ in baking were essentially when you could stretch the dough so thin, it became transparent.”

“Em… Kind of? I mean it’s not perfect but I suppose it’s not the worst.” He shrugged and put it in the fridge. “As usual… that’s as good as it’s gonna get.”

Lily chuckled and placed her own dough in the fridge. “Seconded.”

Remus took out a pan and while it heated up, he started chopping sausage and black pudding into tiny pieces. He threw them on the pan to fry while he sliced an apple as thinly as possible before tossing them in the pan too. After he had taken his filling off the heat and let it cool down a little, he took out his dough and divided it into twenty five sections - leaving an extra piece of dough in case something went wrong.

He rolled the dough out until he thought it couldn’t possibly get any thinner, and then he rolled it a little dough. As with the turnovers, adding the right amount of filling was a little tricky. Remus had discovered that exactly one tablespoon seemed to produce the best result, so he measured pedantically, wanting to make sure this challenge was as perfect as possible. He crimped the edges (he was going to be so good at crimping after this week) and popped his pastries into the oven, starting a timer and then all that was left to do right now, was wait.

“This is the worst part.” Lily groaned. “It’s so boring.”

“Now I’m having school flashbacks.” Tonks agreed.

“Oh my god, stop being so dramatic and just make a cup of tea.” Remus said. “Tea is the magic solution to everything.”

Tea, it turned out, was not quite the magic solution to everything, because when Remus took his pastries out of the oven, a few of them had split.

“But I had a formula!” He muttered mostly to himself. “Dumbass pastries, doing me dirty like this.”

“And here we have a wild Remus Lupin in his natural habitat.” Sirius commentated, appearing at his side. “Remus, are you really talking to the baking?”

Remus looked at him, his face revealing nothing. “They betrayed me.”

“Talking to them won’t change that.”

“Maybe not, but at least they’ll feel ashamed, the little shits.”

“Remus! Can you never let me get footage that I can actually use? I swear I spend half my time editing your scenes, you and your mouth.” Marlene exclaimed.

Remus winced. “Oops?”

Marlene grumbled as she walked away. Sirius shot him a wink.

“Don’t worry,” He said. “I quite like your mouth.”

Remus dropped the pastry he was holding. It was a good thing he made twenty five.

Peter won star baker. “A bloody good thing too - pastries are basically the only thing I eat!” and a woman named Sarah was sent home. Remus registered approximately none of this. All he could hear were Sirius’ words replaying over and over in his head.

“I quite like your mouth.”

It really was official. Remus Lupin was completely and utterly fucked.

#let them eat cake #bake off #bake off au #tgbbo #wolfstar #let them eat cake chapter 3 #bake off au chapter 3 #Remus Lupin #Sirius Black #Remus Lupin/Sirius Black #remus lupin x sirius black #Lily Evans #James Potter #tonks

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