#okay it's totally fine why am I crying
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annemarieyeretzian · 2 months ago
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fearne looking at a still-stunned imogen and shouting “we’re gonna get her, imogen! it’s okay, we got this!” 🩷
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anticidic · 7 months ago
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Sometimes I think about whether Ranpo knew about Dazai's relationship with Oda and if he ever feels a small amount of guilt about it, knowing Oda's fate when they bumped into each other years back.
I think about that scene a lot and what exactly Ranpo saw beyond what was to come. It meant nothing to him then but I do wonder if it crosses his mind that maybe if he said a little more than just something bad awaits if it would've kept Oda from going.
It's one of those situations where being so unbelievably intelligent is a curse because he knew, but he didn't know how significant that knowledge was at the time. Oda was just some guy then.
But also, if Ranpo knew about their relationship, then he has that foresight of Dazai becoming a better person. He harbors it like a secret, but he knows the path Dazai walked to get to where he was now.
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whenthegoldrays · 1 year ago
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wish I had the emotional capacity to hold grudges or heartbreak for a while. people will be like "how are you so chill? i thought you said you were upset about this like two days ago?" and well the truth is. i forgor
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hearts-hunger · 2 years ago
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Maddie genuinely I am going to read that every single day for the rest of my life my heart is BURSTING!!!! Thank you for sharing your work with us you genuinely make my life better bringing so much comfort and happiness with your stories! I adore you and I adore sunny and Danny 💛
hey,,,,,,
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nondelphic · 3 months ago
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the five stages of grief: writer's edition
denial: "this draft is amazing. no need for edits. it’s practically perfect as is." you’re so confident that you close the document for the day, smiling like you’ve just discovered the next great american novel (or swedish, or british, whatever). plot hole? who is she?
anger: "why did i ever think this was good? this is garbage. i am garbage. my characters are flat, my dialogue is cringe, and my prose sounds like a robot swallowed a thesaurus and threw up on the page." rage-quit the doc and go aggressively scroll pinterest for "writing inspiration" that you will never use.
bargaining: "if i fix this one scene, the whole thing will click into place. i just need to write one more subplot, maybe five more chapters, a quick rewrite of the entire ending, and then it'll be fine. totally manageable." queue up 17 youtube videos on "how to fix your plot" that you play in the background while staring at your ceiling.
depression: "i will never finish this book. it’s doomed. i’m doomed. why do i even write? who let me have ideas?!" lay dramatically on your bed, considering taking up knitting or rock collecting instead. cry a little over how your characters deserve a better writer.
acceptance: "this is the best i can do right now, and that’s okay. i’ll take a break, come back with fresh eyes, and remember why i love this stupid, broken story." suddenly, your MC whispers something brilliant, and you're like wait… maybe i'm a genius after all.
and the cycle begins again. writing is a joy.
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rosylix · 4 days ago
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Hii! I've never requested but I can't get this idea out of my mind..
So basically Felix and reader have been college roommates for a year or two but Felix ends up falling for them and has to tell them cos it’s only a few months till graduation.
Totally understand if you can't do it, but thought I'd ask!
everglow
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𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝓅𝒶𝓇𝓉𝒾𝒸𝓊𝓁𝒶𝓇 𝒹𝒾𝒶𝓂𝓸𝓃𝒹 𝓌𝒶𝓈 𝓮𝓍𝓉𝓇𝒶 𝓈𝓅𝓮𝒸𝒾𝒶𝓁
your best friend and roommate is acting especially sentimental tonight. you try to get to the bottom of it
pairing: felix × gn!reader
wc: 6.3k
content: college au, friends to lovers, feelings realization, shy felix, oblivious reader, they're nerds, fluff, light angst, crying?, pouty lix, kissing, mildly suggestive?, hopeful ending
a/n: my first fulfilled request?? i apologize if this was sitting in my inbox for forever.. i wasn't planning on writing a whole thing but then suddenly. i had an epiphany. ty for helping me out of writers block anon 🫶 i hope this is kinda how you were envisioning it!
[also read on ao3]
Your college dorm is a familiar sight, the mess of papers and coffee cups giving away the fact that the end of the year is fast approaching. You've been sharing this space with Felix for the past couple years, both of you working hard to keep your grades up and—hopefully, somehow—graduate?
…You're sure it'll be fine. As long as you do well enough on your capstone project, which is why you're sitting at Felix's desk, dutifully researching. Sometimes you take to his room when you need a change of scenery or just want company; though it's just you right now as Felix had to leave for class earlier.
You're just about to take a stretch break when you hear the front door open and soon enough, Felix trudges into the room. “Still here?” he says when he sees you.
“Unfortunately.” You set your things down and look over at him with a long sigh to convey your exhaustion.
“Dude, same,” he groans, tossing his bag on the floor before flopping down on his bed. “I don't think I've ever been so fucking tired in my life. Why did I pursue higher education again?”
That gets you to laugh a little. “Maybe for some kind of high-paying job and… a sense of accomplishment?” you suggest.
He lets out another groan, rolling over on his side. “But at what fucking cost? Sleep deprivation and a caffeine addiction?” He looks at you with wide, pleading eyes. “Remind me why I'm doing this again.”
You get up and walk over to his bed, sitting down on the edge next to him, a playful smile on your face. “Well, I seem to recall someone who said they wanted to be some hot shot computer engineer.”
He props himself up on one elbow to face you. “Ooh, you think I'm hot?” he says, wiggling his eyebrows.
You give him a look that hopefully conveys how much of an idiot you think he is. “Hot shot, dumbass.” 
…Still, it would be dishonest to disagree: your roommate is attractive. Anyone with a working set of eyes can see that.
“Ohh, I see. You think I'm hot shit?”
You roll your eyes so far back it almost hurts. “As if you don't hear that enough.”
He grins, clearly amused and clearly not above shamelessly fishing for compliments. “Oh, but it's so much more fun to hear it from you,” he teases, leaning back against his pillow.
You give him a withering glare but he just reaches out and pats the spot next to him on the bed. “Come sit down.”
You raise an eyebrow at him. “I am literally sitting down.”
“Okay, well, closer, genius.”
You sigh exaggeratedly, but you humor him anyway, scooting over closer to where he's lounging on the bed. You thought that was enough, but this is Felix, and you should have known better. He reaches out and grabs your wrist, gently but firmly tugging you down next to him.
He shifts so he's on his side facing you and grins, clearly satisfied. His hair is messy and there's a hint of dark circles under his eyes, but he still manages to look unfairly attractive.
You shake your head at his antics and let out a long sigh. “Well… You've already made it this far, you know,” you tell him. “Only a few months left of dealing with school, and then you're done.”
“...Yeah.”
He's quiet for a moment, his gaze drifting across your face, a hint of something almost like melancholy in his eyes.
“Why am I kinda sad, though?” he finally asks with a chuckle.
You blink. “Sad? About being done with school?”
He nods. “I mean, I want to be done, god, believe me I do, but…” He blows out a sigh, running a hand through his hair. “I dunno, it just doesn't feel as good as I expected it to. And I'm…” He pauses, clearly thinking his words over.
“I'm… gonna miss this, honestly. A lot.”
“This?” You gesture around the room. "You're going to miss this? Our tiny-ass, overpriced apartment?"
He laughs at that. “Not this place, I guess.”
“Then? The constant lack of sleep? Exams? The shitty cafeteria food?”
“Please,” Felix scoffs before taking a deep breath, looking somewhere behind you. “I'm… going to miss this." He looks back at you and pokes your shoulder for emphasis. “This. Us living together. Hanging out all the time. I'm going to miss that.”
You blink, a little taken aback at his earnestness. “Oh,” you say intelligently. “Yeah. I…”
You try to ignore the way your heart is suddenly in your throat. In truth, you've been doing your best not to think about it, how things will inevitably change after graduation.
“I mean…” you start. “It's not like we're never going to see each other again or something. We'll keep in touch, right?” But even as you say it, you feel yourself deflating. It’s not the same.
His expression reflects yours, his smile soft but a little sad around the edges. “...Of course we will.” He sounds like he's saying it as much to himself as he is to you. 
He's silent for another moment, his fingers gently running over the blanket, not quite meeting your gaze.
“It won't… be the same though,” he says, mirroring your own thoughts. “Like— you know? I'm gonna miss the convenience store we always go to at 2AM, I'm gonna miss our late-night study sessions and the shitty coffee you make, I'm gonna miss how you always use up the hot water in the shower and your annoying alarm waking me up at fuck-ass in the morning—” He suddenly cuts off, a flush rising in his cheeks.
He turns on his back again, slinging an arm over his eyes. “Ugh, I don't know, just shut up and let me wallow in my feelings.”
You're honestly a little speechless. All that, things he claims are annoying — he's going to miss it all that much?
“Hey,” you say gently, nudging his shoulder. “Hey, you sap, look at me.”
“No. I'm wallowing.”
You roll your eyes. “I can see that.” You poke his arm. Then again, harder. “Come on, look at me.”
Felix huffs dramatically, lowering his arm and turning his head to look at you from the corner of his eye. “What? I’m looking.”
Your heart clenches at the sight of him. He's pouting, looking a little petulant but still so endearingly cute, and you can definitely see the hint of embarrassment in his gaze as he peeks at you.
You let a smile spread across your face. “You're gonna miss me.”
Felix averts his gaze, his cheeks going a little pinker. “I mean, a little, I guess,” he mumbles, before letting out a heavy, dramatic sigh. “Ugh, why are you looking at me like that? Don't let it go to your head or anything.”
It's so obvious that it's more than just a little — but you decide not to call him out on it. Instead, you lean forward, propping yourself up with one arm. “Too late,” you tease, grinning widely. “You're gonna miss me so much.”
He groans, throwing his forearm over his eyes again. "Whatever. Shut up.”
You look at him silently for a moment, taking in his flushed face and his messy hair. God, he's so cute. You've always been aware of how pretty he is, but there's something about seeing him like this, completely unguarded and vulnerable, that's making your lungs feel tight.
You clear your throat awkwardly, shifting your gaze away from him. “Hey, come on, cheer up.”
“No,” he says, still hiding his face behind his arm. “I'll just lay here and wallow and die."
“So dramatic,” you chide, poking his side roughly, trying to distract yourself from your own thoughts. You're starting to feel a little flustered too.
He whines at the contact, swatting at your hand, but you notice he hasn't moved his other arm away from his face. “Ow, hey, violence,” he complains, curling away from your fingers. “Ow, ow, dude—”
You reach out and grab his wrist, pulling his hand away from his face. He lets out a half-hearted protest, but doesn’t get the chance to resist.
Oh. His eyes are shining.
You freeze. 
He's pouting again, but it's less childish now and more vulnerable, embarrassed. For a moment you just sort of stare, suddenly hyper-aware of how close the two of you are. His face is so close, so pretty, and your heart is doing something strange, beating rapidly in your chest.
“You’re—” You clear your throat, struggling with what to say. You… hadn’t realized how much this was impacting him.
He looks away and blinks hard, but his eyes are still a bit misty, unshed tears stubbornly sticking to his eyelashes. “Sorry. I'm being stupid,” he finally says, his voice a little quiet. “Ignore me, I'm just being weird, it's—” He swallows. “...I'm tired.”
Oh, god. You've been joking and teasing and making fun, but now you just feel like the biggest jerk, because he's actually really upset about this.
“Wait, no,” you murmur, suddenly serious. “No, it’s not— You're not being stupid. I—” You're having a lot more trouble than usual forming coherent sentences.
Your hand is still around his wrist, your fingers pressing against his pulse point. You squeeze it lightly. “It's okay.” You can feel the rapid beating of his heart, in contrast to the rest of him lying completely still. “It's not stupid. I’m— I'm gonna miss you too, idiot.”
He lets out a wet sounding laugh at that, rolling his eyes, but he doesn’t pull his arm away from your grip. “So mean,” he says. “Do you have to insult me to say nice things?”
“Well, yeah.”
The corners of his mouth twitch and you feel a bit of relief that you've managed to cheer him up a little.
“But you mean it?” He looks up at you with a shy expression. “You're gonna miss me?”
“Of course,” you say, suddenly struck by how much you mean it. “Yeah, I am. A lot.”
He lets out a low breath, eyes flicking over your face. “Yeah?” he says quietly. 
It's silent for a moment. Felix is still looking at you, a little shyly, and it's driving you a little crazy. He sighs, his brow pinched slightly, like he’s struggling with some internal conflict. You wait patiently, giving him space to express what he wants to say.
But he doesn't. Just averts his eyes and blinks harshly at the wall behind you.
“Please don't cry or I'll start crying too,” you say with a bit of a nervous laugh.
Felix lets out a shaky breath. “...I’m not going to cry.”
You give him a look. 
“I’m not,” he insists, using his free hand to rub his eyes. “I have allergies or something, I just— I—”
He hesitates, clearly trying to gather his thoughts. 
“Okay, look,” he sits up, pulling his wrist free from your grip and taking a deep breath. “It's just— I…” He stops, running a hand through his hair nervously. 
“Felix?” you ask, sitting up too. You're starting to get a little concerned. Why is the mood suddenly so weird?
He groans, burying his face in his hands, his voice muffled when he speaks. “This is embarrassing.”
It doesn't help your concern. “What’s embarrassing?” you ask carefully, trying to keep your voice steady.
“This,” he mutters, still hiding his face.
You hesitate a moment, not really knowing what to do, before tentatively reaching out and touching his arm. “Um… It's fine, you can talk to me.”
He lets out a frustrated breath before finally looking at you. “You’re not gonna like it.”
Oh. “Well… Did you… like, kill someone or something?”
Felix stares at you for a moment, clearly trying to keep a straight face but his lips twitch a little. “No, I didn’t kill anyone, you psychopath,” he says dryly.
“Okay, well, good,” you say, clearing your throat. “No illegal activities? The government isn't after you?”
“I… No,” he says slowly.
This conversation is taking a bizarre turn. “And you're not, like… secretly an alien sent to spy on humans this whole time? And… now you have to return to your home planet to plot the annihilation of Earth?”
That finally gets Felix to laugh. “You're— you're a fucking idiot,” he says through giggles. “Seriously.”
“I’m just checking,” you say, crossing your arms. “You're being all weird and shit and…” you gesture vaguely. “Maybe you're an alien. I don't know.”
That only sets him off giggling again. “Oh my god,” he says, leaning his forehead on your shoulder, his body shaking with laughter. “Why are you so dumb.”
You roll your eyes, just relieved to see him smile. He's much more relaxed now, the mood in the room lifted with his laughter. All part of your plan. You're more than happy to appear ridiculous if it means seeing him laugh.
He finally stops laughing, though he’s still smiling a little as he lifts his head and looks at you. He’s much closer than you anticipated, and you try not to be too distracted by the freckles around his eyes and the way his eyelashes flutter when he blinks as his gaze flicks across your face. He’s looking at you intently, and the air in the room feels charged, electric almost.
“You…” he starts, but hesitates, cutting himself off with a shake of his head. “Why are you so dumb,” he repeats.
Wow. “Now who's being mean?” you pout.
He laughs again, but it’s softer than before, a shaky, nervous sound. “God, I— this is so stupid, I—”
He lets out a frustrated breath, staring directly into your eyes, his expression intense and focused. “How do you not notice,” he mutters under his breath.
You’re frozen under his gaze, your heart suddenly in your throat. “Notice… what?”
Felix closes his eyes. “Nevermind. It doesn’t matter.”
What? “It seems like it matters since you’re…”
He opens his eyes again, looking a bit pained as he looks at you. “Just… just forget it.”
You don’t know what to say. You can feel your heart beating wildly in your chest, your hands shaking slightly. “Uh… okay,” you say. “Sorry for… being dumb…?”
He grimaces. “No, I didn't mean it like—”
He lets out a long, heavy breath, shaking his head. Then he reaches out and takes your hand, his fingers brushing against your wrist.
His voice is quieter when he speaks, looking down, idly playing with your fingers. “Just… you’re supposed to notice,” he mumbles, almost to himself. “It’s supposed to be obvious.”
You stare at him, confused and flustered and… honestly, a little distracted by how he's touching your hand. “What's… uhh, what?” Everything feels like it's too much all of a sudden, and your chest is really starting to do something weird.
He sighs. “Nevermind. Seriously.”
There's a moment of silence before he speaks again. “When we graduate,” he starts. “...Which I guess is really soon, huh.”
The way he says it makes your chest pang painfully. He’s still not looking at you. “I won’t see you anymore…” he murmurs, his voice so quiet you can barely hear him.
You grab his hand, stopping him from fiddling with your fingers, and squeeze gently. “Hey,” you say. “C’mon, it’s not like that.”
He huffs out a bitter laugh. “Isn't it, though?”
It kind of feels like you’ve been punched in the gut. This isn't like him, he's usually the one full of sunshine and optimism, reassuring you. But right now, the defeat in his voice is palpable.
The reality of the situation starts sinking in. Time’s almost up.
“Felix,” you say quietly, and he finally lifts his eyes up from his lap to look at you. His eyes are watery again.
He swallows, his voice breaking a little as he speaks. “Sorry, I’m being… I’m being unfair, I just…” He hesitates before continuing. “I don’t want to not see you.”
You frown, tears pricking your eyes now too. You don't trust your voice to speak, throat feeling tight and uncomfortable.
“And you’re just… so oblivious,” he continues, his finger tracing over your knuckles. “So stubborn, and dumb, and you’re probably the most annoying person I’ve ever met in my life and I seriously cannot believe I like—”
He cuts off suddenly, slapping a hand over his mouth.
Wait.
“Felix,” you murmur, and his eyes dart up to meet yours, a little panicked. He tries to jerk his hand away from yours, but you hold on tighter, keeping him in place.
“Felix,” you repeat, your skin buzzing from the way he’s looking at you. “You can’t just… leave me hanging like that.”
He looks away, face a brilliant crimson red. “Yeah, I can.”
You almost want to laugh. You didn’t realize he could be so shy, but you can’t focus on that now, because your heart is racing and you can’t tell if you’re going to pass out, or pass away.
“No, you can’t,” you say shakily. “When are you gonna tell me? At the commencement ceremony?”
He lets out a half-choked, almost hysterical sort of laugh, keeping his head turned away so he doesn’t have to look at you. “Yeah, something like that.”
He has to be joking. “That’s months away!”
“And?”
You shake your head, feeling dizzy. “I’m not gonna wait that long, are you insane?”
He huffs and glares at you, pouting. “Oh, well I’m sorry, would you just rather I shout it from the fucking roof tops then? Hey, everyone, I’ve been in love with my best friend since freshman year!”
What.
You blink, stunned speechless, your eyes wide. 
Your mind is spinning, the air in the room suddenly too thick to breathe. The words in love keep ringing in your ears, over and over again.
“You— you what?” you manage to get out, feeling a little faint. You must not have heard him correctly. You're hallucinating, or having a stroke or… something. He can't actually mean—
Felix winces. “...Fuck.” he mutters, dropping his head into his hands.
“Oh my god,” you whisper, brain still struggling to catch up to the situation. You’re still processing that he said the word love, when the last few words register.
“Wait— freshman year?” you say incredulously. “You’ve— since—?”
He’s clearly trying to act somewhat composed but the bright red on his ears betrays him. “Um. Yeah. Shut up. Stop talking,” he says, voice muffled from behind his hands.
You think about the past few years of your life, every interaction with him, and it’s like everything suddenly clicks into place.
The way his ears turn pink whenever you compliment him. The way you could always get under his skin so easily. You think about every time he got defensive, or huffy, or pouty at something innocuous you did or said.
…The way he's never really shown interest in anyone, despite the plenty of interest shown his way. The countless people he's turned down, for seemingly no reason. When you'd questioned him about it, he'd just laughed awkwardly and said he preferred to focus on his studies.
“Oh my god,” you say again.
Felix groans and hides his face further, his ears practically on fire. “Stop. Don't,” he mutters. “It's okay. Just… pretend you never heard that, okay, it's fine—”
“No.”
It’s silent for a moment, Felix still hiding his face, and your mind still swirling with thoughts. 
You kind of want to kiss him.
The realization is sudden, but not entirely unexpected. It’s not really a surprise, honestly, just another thing that feels natural. Maybe because deep down, of course somewhere along the line you've developed feelings for the person you can trust with anything, who gets you more than anyone else. Your favorite person in the world.
You’re only half in your right mind as you grab his wrists, pulling his hands off of his face.
“You ass,” you say, staring directly at him.
He looks at you with wide, panicked eyes. “I'm sorry—” he starts, but you cut him off.
“Can I kiss you?” 
He chokes, eyes going even wider. He opens his mouth, then closes it, clearly caught off guard. After a moment, he manages to find his voice, though it’s very high pitched and shaky. “What?”
You take a deep breath. “Can I kiss you,” you repeat, your head feeling fuzzy, your pulse pounding in your ears.
“…What?” he asks again. His face is bright red. “Are— are you serious?”
“Do I look like I’m kidding?” you murmur, leaning even closer, your faces almost touching.
His breath catches, and his eyes dart between your eyes and your lips. “Please say you’re not,” he manages to say, voice breaking.
“I’m not,” you say, feeling a little crazy. Insane, maybe. You can’t really bring yourself to care. “Can I?”
He doesn't give you an answer, letting out an incredulous breath before grabbing the front of your shirt and yanking you forward as he falls back so you land on top of him.
You’re about to protest at the continued lack of a clear answer, but then he’s kissing you and you forget how to speak.
It's not the most graceful kiss, you’re both a little clumsy, but it’s sweet and it’s Felix and that’s all that really matters. You figure it out quickly, getting into a rhythm, and he lets out a shaky breath against your mouth, his hand moving to tangle in your hair. You feel like you’re dreaming, or drowning, or both.
Felix is kissing you. Felix is kissing you. Your closest friend. He’s in love with you, and he’s kissing you.
It makes your head spin. After several moments, you finally pull away, panting and dizzy. You feel a little delirious, staring down at him, both of you catching your breath.
His head falls back against the pillow, face turning impossibly red as he blinks at you like he’s in shock. You laugh a little and he huffs, but his eyes soften.
“So… you, uh— You— Are you—?”
You cut him off with another touch of your lips, effectively shutting him up. He instantly melts into it, tightens his grip in your hair, pulling you further into the kiss, and you can’t think straight, everything is just Felix. 
After a while, you’re forced to break away again for air. Felix whines at the loss of contact, eyes half-lidded, his cheeks flushed. You only manage to get a few breaths in before he's pulling you down into another kiss, more urgently this time.
You let out a surprised noise, and he takes the opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth. He seems to be determined to kiss you senseless, and it’s working. 
He bites your bottom lip, making you gasp into his mouth. He mumbles something in response, his thigh sliding between your legs, and your brain short-circuits.
Okay. You shiver. Okay. You should probably… You manage to pull away for a much needed breath and Felix tries to chase after your mouth, but you press a hand to his chest to hold him in place.
He groans, looking frustrated, but flops back against the pillow obediently. He blinks at you dazedly, his own chest heaving, eyes half-lidded and dark, but his expression quickly morphs into a pout. “Why… Why…?” he complains, trying to tug you closer again.
You huff a weak laugh, shaking your head, and he gives you a wide-eyed look, all innocence and sweetness, and that's not fair that he can look like this after all of that.
“Just— one sec,” you somehow get out, your mind still completely overloaded. “We should… uh…”
He’s still trying to reach your mouth. “What,” he mutters, breathing heavily against your neck.
“Talk,” you manage to say, even as his lips make their way to your jaw. “We should… we need to… oh my god—”
You cut off, stifling a gasp as he sucks on your skin. “Felix,” you say, trying to be stern, but it comes out like a moan instead.
“Mm?” he hums against your ear, completely unapologetic. “You want to… talk?”
“Yeah.” It takes all your willpower to pull away, ignoring how he whines in protest. You sit up and take a moment to compose yourself, willing yourself to ignore the urge to just give in to him.
Felix flops back onto the bed, throwing his arm over his eyes as he sighs, his voice sounding a little raspy.
“Sorry,” he mutters, his ears red. “Sorry, god, I've thought about this so much, I just—”
Oh. “You’ve… thought about…? How much…?”
He makes a strangled noise and covers his face more thoroughly, voice muffled. “Oh my god,” he groans, “I'm going to fucking die. I… a lot.”
…Okay. Okay. Deep breaths. Okay.
“...How much is a lot?” you ask, unable to resist your curiosity. And maybe you want to tease him about it. Just a little.
He groans again. “So, so much. An embarrassing and pathetic amount.” He’s not even trying to hide his pouting. “Can you please not make me say the actual words.”
You bite the inside of your cheek to keep from laughing, but the way he sounds — breathless and embarrassed — it’s honestly kind of adorable. He’s always so confident in most aspects of his life that you kind of love seeing him so flustered.
“Please… don’t,” he mumbles, peeking at you. “I’m begging you…”
He's blinking up at you, the picture of innocence once again. He glances up at you through his eyelashes, all pretty and delicate and ugh, he's absolutely doing this on purpose.
“You’re distracting,” you say weakly, staring down at him. “Stop making cute faces at me.”
He does not stop making cute faces. He tries though, lowering his hands as his face drops into a scowl. “I’m not making a cute face,” he protests.
“Yeah, you are,” you say, raising an eyebrow. “You’re doing it right now. Your pouty thing.”
He sniffs. “I'm not,” he says petulantly, though there’s a hint of mirth in his eyes. “This is just my regular face. It’s not my fault if my face is cute.”
You roll your eyes. “Yeah, okay.”
He opens his mouth to respond but you cut him off with a finger, placing it over his lips. His mouth instantly snaps shut, and you can’t resist a little grin as he looks up at you with wide eyes. 
You watch as he swallows, his eyes fixed on you, and, not for the first time, you’re reminded of how pretty he is. He’s always been gorgeous, in an objective sort of way, but you feel like you’re seeing him for the first time.
You move your hand away and take a deep breath, trying to gather your thoughts. You need to talk about this while you’re both still somewhat coherent, or you’ll go absolutely insane.
“So…” You’re a little pleased with how steady your voice is, considering the circumstances. “You… love me.”
Felix coughs and covers his face again. “Do you have to say it like that,” he groans, his voice muffled by his palms.
“You never… you never said anything.” 
He just shrugs, still hiding his face. “I was scared to lose you,” he says with a shaky breath. “I didn’t expect you to want me back…” There's no bitterness in his tone, just disbelief.
You frown. “But you’re—” You bite your tongue. Felix was worried about you not wanting him?
You shake your head, a somewhat acrid feeling welling up inside of you. You've seen firsthand the sheer amount of attention he gets from people, from the random gifts and outright confessions and people slipping him numbers and notes everywhere he goes. There's never been a shortage of interest in him, from all sorts of people. Compared to him, you're… nothing.
“So… this whole time, you just… thought I was clueless?” You're still trying to wrap your head around it.
He sighs. “I mean, kind of,” he says, his eyes peeking through his fingers. “You’ve been completely oblivious to anyone who’s ever flirted with you.” 
Including me, he doesn't say, but you're starting to put the pieces together.
You wince, your face flushing. “I’m not that oblivious,” you protest weakly. “I just… I’ve never been particularly interested in… anyone.” 
Felix stares at you, one eyebrow raised.
“Like…” It's true that you've never really liked anyone very strongly in all your time at college. Some fleeting crushes here and there, but even the few people you had tried to go on dates with always felt lacking in some inexplicable way. You always felt much better as soon as you'd come home to your shared space with Felix, always feeling the most comfortable in his presence. Was that it? All this time, no one could ever compare to your best friend? 
And the constant attention Felix would get… It annoyed the hell out of you. At first, you would tease him, even encourage him to give them a chance, delight in the way his face would turn bright red. But it quickly became so annoying watching him have to navigate awkward conversations, politely turn people down. Sure, a part of you was probably a bit insecure always watching him receive so much attention. At least, that's what you told yourself. But beyond that, you think you're finally starting to understand the feeling for what it is.
Jealousy.
“Oh my god.” You’re starting to realize what a mess this entire situation is. “We're both idiots.”
Felix finally drops his hands from his face, giving you a dry look. “Speak for yourself.”
"Shut up," you say absently, not even annoyed. Your head is reeling.
This is… a mess. Felix is in love with you, you’re pretty sure the feeling has been mutual for a while, and you’re both leaving this place in just a few months. 
“So… you’ve never liked anyone before?” Felix asks. His tone is a bit teasing, though there's curiosity beneath.
You make a face. “Um.” Yeah, that's what you thought for the past couple years until now. How much do you reveal?
All of the puzzle pieces are clicking into place in your mind, making your head hurt even more. So much time wasted, you want to cry.
“I guess no one ever compared to you,” you say without thinking, and immediately slap your hand over your face.
“Oh.” There’s a second of silence as you both process the words.
Then, Felix starts laughing.
“Oh my god,” he mutters, struggling to contain himself, barely managing to keep his laughter under control. Your face is growing redder by the second, embarrassed and annoyed.
“Will you stop?” you whine.
“I’m sorry, I just—” he tries to get himself together, taking a deep breath before looking at you fondly. “This is the corniest fucking shit I've ever— holy shit. We're actually both stupid.”
“I told you,” you say, smacking him on the arm. 
He just snickers, grabbing your wrist before you can hit him again. He pulls you so you’re half-lying on top of him again, and you can feel his shoulders shaking as if he’s trying to keep from bursting out into another fit of laughter.
You let your head fall against his chest with a huff, still annoyed even as he wraps an arm around you, his hand rubbing against your back.
“You jerk,” you mutter.
He hums, sounding amused. “You love me.”
You go rigid, and he starts to laugh again, obviously enjoying the fact that he found an easy way to fluster you. 
“Shut up,” you grumble weakly, burying your face against him.
It isn't fair. He’s had time to fully realize it, years apparently. He’s had time to process everything. Meanwhile, you feel like you’ve been completely blindsided. 
He finally stops laughing and you’re both quiet for a few moments. You can hear his heart drumming loud in his chest.
“Wow,” he says suddenly. “We could have avoided a lot of stress if we realized earlier.”
You let out a snort of semi-hysterical laughter. “I know,” you agree, before pausing and wincing. “Oh god, I can't believe we've been… that we've been living together…”
“Yeeeahh… That's been torture by the way,” he says conversationally, as if he's discussing the weather, and your cheeks flare up. 
“...Torture?”
He squeezes your side. “Are you kidding? Have you seen yourself every day? Every time you wear my jacket, or… anything? Wearing those hoodies on movie nights—”
“I get it,” you cut him off, your face absolutely burning. “I get it, I’m—”
“Stupid?” he offers helpfully. “Oblivious? Cute?”
“...You never said anything,” you say weakly in an attempt to defend yourself.
“I wasn't going to make things awkward,” he protests. “Can you imagine if I’d actually said anything and you just… what? Said no? And then we have to keep living together like normal?”
You bite your lip, trying to suppress the guilt stirring in your stomach. You can’t even begin to imagine what it's been like from his perspective.
“...Sorry.” You shift so you can actually look at him, but he won’t meet your eyes, his gaze fixed on the ceiling as he pouts.
“You really didn't notice?” he asks, finally looking at you. “Even a little?”
“No.” You feel a frustrated sort of laugh bubbling up. “We’ve been so stupid. We could’ve… we’ve wasted so much time, years—”
“Hey, hey,” he interrupts, seeing your expression, sitting up and gently placing his hand on your cheek, and you stop abruptly. “It doesn’t matter,” he says reassuringly. “We have time, okay? Plenty of time.”
You’re still struggling with the whole situation, trying to process everything as you stare at him. “But… we’re graduating.”
He gives you a small, unsure smile. “Yeah. We are.”
"And… I don't even know where I'm going. We could be—”
“Hey.” He cuts you off, placing a finger gently on your lips, and you bite your tongue, looking down at him. “Stop worrying so much. We’ll figure it out, okay?”
You try to take a deep breath and he leans forward until his forehead is touching yours. 
Your mind is still racing, your entire universe is completely tilted, and you’re not entirely sure how to deal with any of it. But Felix is close and his hand is still on your cheek and…
And you want to focus on that instead, ignore everything else for now.
“Yeah?” you say weakly, your eyes fluttering shut.
“Yeah,” he says, his voice a little more firm, and he brings his other hand up to cup your face.
“For now,” he continues, his breath warm against your skin. “Let’s just…” He lets out an unsteady laugh, his hands still gently framing your face. “Can we just…”
Your entire body feels a little shaky. You lean forward a bit, closing the distance, and he sucks in a sharp breath.
“Yeah,” he breathes before slanting his mouth against yours.
It’s not very decorous. You’re both a little desperate, a little uncoordinated, trying to make up for years of lost time.
It’s messy and you can feel that he’s still a little nervous — as are you — but he's also determined. He pulls you closer, one of his hands sliding into your hair, tugging gently in a way that makes you gasp into his mouth.
Then he suddenly pulls back after a few moments, laughing when you whine pathetically in protest.
“Shh, hang on,” he says, slightly out of breath, and you open your eyes dizzily.
“...What?” you complain.
“Sorry,” he mutters. “I… I just remembered that I…”
You watch, utterly befuddled, as he pushes against your shoulders so he can sit up. He gently lifts you off of him, answering your whine of protest with a quick kiss before his hand drifts away from your face, reaching for his phone.
You try to grab at him. “What are you doing—”
He laughs and dodges out of your reach. “Just gimme a second,” he says, turning his phone on as he settles back on the bed.
You sit there, feeling dazed and frustrated as he taps at his phone, his attention focused on the screen. After a few moments, he finally seems to finish what he’s doing, putting his phone down with a satisfied hum.
When he meets your eyes, he just looks amused at your expression. “Sorry, sorry,” he says with a grin, moving closer to you again.
“What was so important,” you pout.
“I was meant to meet with my group mates for our project tonight,” he says. “So, I told them I'm feeling sick.”
Your eyebrows shoot up. “Felix.”
He has the audacity to just smile innocently, already shifting so he can push you down against the sheets.
“What?” he says casually, hovering over you, his hands coming to rest on your waist. “I wasn't gonna be able to focus anyways.”
“Oh.” You can feel the heat rising in your cheeks again. “Is… that really okay…?”
“Don't worry,” he says, leaning down and pressing a light kiss into your neck. “I practically carry them anyway, they can live without me for one night.”
You swallow, feeling his hands slide up your arms, his touch leaving a trail of sparks along your skin. “Okay,” you agree, completely distracted now, your thoughts hazy.
“Mhm.” He sucks on a sensitive spot on your collarbone and you let out a shaky exhale. “Can we focus on something else right now?”
You nod. He moves up to kiss you and you know, with him, you'll figure out whatever comes next.
For now, that's enough.
a/n: me, a mech eng major.. ofc i had to make felix a fellow engineer. nerds 4 life (do not study engineering i crave death every moment)
also yes title is the coldplay song bc im actually uncreative as hell and name everything after songs. how do ppl come up with titles (T_T) but anyway since it's one of felix's fav songs i thought it was especially fitting 🤍
tysm for reading 🫶
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carisc4pshaw · 2 months ago
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Spencer’s Double Shift
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Dad!Spencer finishes a case only to find out he can’t go home to his wife (reader) and daughter as they have another case in New York. (fluff)
word count: 2.5k
tags: dad!spencer, mom/fem!reader, parents, parenting, New York, behavioural analysis unit, date night, early birthday dinner, halloween mention, fbi, plane ride, first plane ride, subtle sex mention, fluff, marriage, married with kid, work, fear of flying, comforting.
no warnings
notes: I don’t really like the title of this but oh well, this is the first time I’ve written with the reader so its not amazing sorry. Hope you enjoy!
——————————————————🩷—————————————————
Spencer had been away for three days working on a difficult case but there wasn’t a day he hadn’t called you before starting and ending his day. He told you he had been calling because he missed you but you know it’s really because he missed your perfect daughter.
You and Spencer had the most gorgeous daughter, Delilah Reid, she’s four years old and a total daddy’s girl, she asks you multiple times a day if she can call when Spencer is away working on a case and when you explain to her why she can’t call it makes her cry but she stops when you remind her that her daddy saves lots of people. He is her hero.
Spencer had texted you a few hours ago to let you know he was now boarding the plane to come home as well as telling you he missed both you and Delilah and couldn’t wait to kiss you so when you saw his call coming through on your phone you weren’t surprised.
“Hi Spence,” You said into the phone as you went around the house putting Delilah’s toys away, “Good flight?”
“Hi baby, yeah good flight but I have some bad news,” Spencer replied running his hand through his fluffy curls.
“You have to stay late and do reports?” You groaned into the phone.
“Worse, Hotch got another call on the flight, bad case in New York, we leave in 2 hours. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay honey, it’s not your fault,” You were glad you weren’t FaceTiming right now because the massive frown on your face would make him feel worse and he didn’t deserve that.
“Can I be the worst husband ever right now and ask a favour of you?” Spencer asked.
“You’re hardly the worst husband. Shoot.”
“Could you bring me some clean clothes to swap over in my overnight bag and please bring Delilah I miss her so much I feel like I’m missing everything.”
“I can do that of course, I want to see you I miss you. You aren’t missing much with Delilah except a very messy playroom and a few princess stories at night.”
“Not the princess stories they are my favourite.”
You laugh, “Alright Spence, I’ll bring one for you to read to her before you leave.”
“Deal. Don’t be too long I miss you,” You can practically see Spencer’s pout just by hearing his tone.
“You need to let me hang up then.”
“Fine, be quick, I love you and be safe,” he blew a kiss into the phone making your heart flutter.
“I love you too, extra safe I promise,” You said before hanging up and getting his things together for him.
You knocked on the door of your daughter’s bedroom lightly to see if she was still napping, after getting no sleepy response from her you opened the door quietly climbing into the bed beside her as much as you could with the little space.
“Baby,” You stroke one of the brunette strands of her hair from her face.
“Mommy? Is Daddy home?” She mumbled sleepily to you.
“No baby, we are going to visit Daddy at work. Do you want to pick a book for him to read to you?” You played with the ends of her wavy hair.
“Really? I love Daddy’s work! Yeah, I pick a book,” she says trying to scramble out the duvet.
“Daddy’s got more people to help though baby so we can’t stay too long, just until he has to leave.”
Delilah pouts, “But mommy I miss Daddy he’s been away like a million days.”
You laugh, “I know baby, he’s sorry and so am I but we can do some fun things.”
“He’ll be back for Halloween?”
“Yes he will be back before Halloween sweetie,” You kissed her head, “Get ready and we will leave.”
“Can I stay in my fluffy pyjamas? Please,” Delilah dragged out the ‘e’ at the end of please.
“If you want to,” You smiled at your daughter picking her up to help her off the bed so she could pick a book to take.
——————
You helped Delilah get out of the car and passed her the princess book before swinging Spencer’s bag onto your shoulder and carrying Delilah at the same time.
You signed in at reception, Spencer had called to tell them you were dropping by, usually, they don’t let people come in without an employee badge but you had become friends with the receptionist after the many times you had dropped by to see Spencer in the times you were dating and while you had been married.
Once you were in the elevator you put Delilah down, she couldn’t get lost going from the elevator to the bullpen since they were opposite each other and she had been there enough times to know the way.
When the doors opened you spotted Spencer waiting on the other side of the open glass door. He knew his daughter would run out once she saw him and that’s exactly what she did. The small girl let go of your hand and ran towards her Dad the book still in her hand.
“Daddy!” She squeaked, you walking not far behind watching them as they collided in a hug.
“Hi Princess,” Spencer picked her up and spun her around. Hotch, Emily and JJ were watching from across the room smiling. Emily could see how much happier Spencer was as soon as he was talking to you or back with both you and your daughter.
“You should let him bring them to New York with us and maybe give him a day off while we are there,” Emily whispered to Hotch.
“I’ll speak to him about it,” Hotch spoke while nodding.
“I missed you, Daddy, don’t go, why do you keep leaving me and Mommy?” Delilah pouted with tears in her eyes.
Spencer held Delilah’s hair out of her face placing kisses over her face, “I’m sorry baby, I don’t want to leave you.”
You sighed seeing the tears almost spilling from Delilah’s eyes, “Honey I told you Daddy saves people.”
“But what if I need him,” Delilah started crying both your and Spencer’s hearts breaking as well as the others watching.
“Reid,” Hotch called Spencer signalling for him to come over.
Spencer tried to pass Delilah over to you but the girl cried harder refusing to let go of him.
“You can all come,” Hotch said walking up the stairs towards the office.
Once you entered with your husband and daughter who had stopped crying Hotch smiled, “Emily made a point to me that you haven’t been at your best recently being apart from your wife and daughter and proposed I talk to you about bringing them to New York with us, that way we can call you when we need but you can also do some exploring and be with your family,” Hotch said.
“Really? That would be great!” Spencer said.
“That really would be, thank you, Aaron,” You said.
“We will pick you up in an hour on the way to the jet.”
“The only thing is Delilah has never flown before, I don’t want her to get upset and distract you from your case,” You added.
“She’s no bother.”
“I’m a big girl I will be fine I going to eat a big pizza,” Delilah squealed, “Let me go Daddy I need to tell Auntie Emily and Auntie JJ,” she gasped, “Can we visit Nana and Auntie Elle and her girlfriend and her kitten too!”
“Slow down baby, we need to go home and get ready before we can do anything,” You crouched down to pull Delilah into a hug.
“Kay Kay, me and Daddy make plans on the plane!”
You all laughed before Spencer ruffled her hair with his hand, “Okay little princess.”
The three of you went back to your house to get ready, you already felt a little stressed about how little time you had to pack. Packing usually took you at least a day to make sure you had a list of everything you needed and you weren’t leaving anything behind.
Spencer stood behind you rubbing your shoulders, “I can tell you’re stressed.”
“Sorry, I just don’t know what to pack. What’s the weather going to be like? What are we going to do there? Fancy or casual dinners? I guess casual because Lilah is with us,” You rambled.
“We won’t be there more than four days, the weather is the right temperature for jeans and t-shirts, pack a jumper for the mornings, maybe take a coat in case it rains one day but nothing too thick,” he helps you out.
“Thank you, Baby,” You grab his face leaving a gentle peck on his lips before returning to your suitcase to finish your packing while Spencer went to help Delilah.
——————
You sat opposite Delilah and Spencer sat beside her on the private jet. The small brunette had her small hands on either side of the window watching the takeoff and the city becoming several long fluffy clouds.
“It’s pretty!” Delilah gasped.
“Yeah, it is isn’t it?” You replied.
“Daddy, do you want to see too?” Delilah asked him.
“I’ve seen it lots of times, you enjoy it,” He ran his hand over her hair before moving to sit next to you.
“Hi,” You move a little closer to him in the seat.
“Hi,” He takes your hand and laces your fingers together.
You rest your head on his shoulder your eyes fluttering closed for a second as he rubbed his thumb on the back of his hand.
“Are you okay?” He asked. You were sometimes a nervous flyer but you didn’t want to show it right now especially in front of your daughter for her first flight.
“I’m doing fine, this plane shakes less than a commercial aircraft,” You glanced up at him smiling.
“I didn’t get to give you a proper hello earlier,” Spencer leaned his head down connecting his lips with yours in a quick kiss that unfortunately didn’t go unnoticed by the young brunette girl.
“EW!” She shouted rather loudly, “You guys can’t kiss!”
“Why not? We love each other,” Spencer tells Delilah, “And you need to be a bit quieter baby. They are working,” He points to his team.
“It’s gross to kiss,” Delilah stuck her tongue out.
Spencer gave your lips one last quick peck before grinning at Delilah who was sitting with her arms folded and pouting.
Around halfway through the flight, the plane hit a small rough patch of turbulence making you panic slightly and Delilah started crying. Spencer wanted to comfort the both of you but you knew it was more important for him to look after your child and besides you always remembered the fact Spencer had told you about planes that they’re more likely to crash as you were taking off or as you are landing which made you feel a little bit better not by much but it was something.
You watched as Spencer moved Delilah onto his lap and rubbed her back trying to calm her down. When her breaths became more controlled he wiped the tears from her cheeks and placed a kiss on her nose whispering, ‘You’re okay baby I’ll always keep you safe,’ to her.
Seeing how he was with her always made your heart warm and melt in your chest, there really could be no better father for any child except maybe one that wasn’t in the FBI but you would never want anyone else as your husband or as Delilah’s father.
You left your seat to go to grab a coffee, Emily and JJ were standing by the coffee machine talking and quite obviously flirting. You were closer to JJ than you were to Emily but not for any reason other than JJ’s son Micheal and Delilah went to the same daycare.
“Hi,” You said squeezing around them to get a mug from the cupboard.
“Hi,” They replied at the same time before quickly turning their heads and smiling brightly at each other to acknowledge what they had just done.
You laughed, “Excuse me,” You directed at Emily who was standing by the coffee machine.
She moved to the side, “Is Delilah okay? We heard her crying, was it the turbulence?”
“Yeah she’s fine, she was just a little scared because she’s never experienced it before,” You answered with a small smile, “Spence calmed her down.”
“We saw, he’s an amazing dad. He was so good with Henry when he was younger too I’m so happy he has a kid of his own now,” JJ smiled.
Your smile grew hearing JJ say that. “He is an amazing dad,” You looked over at your husband, “He’s great. Spencer’s birthday is coming up and I really wanted to take him to dinner while we are in New York, Could you possibly watch Delilah tonight? It won’t be late because I know you will both have to be up early to start the case.”
“Oh yes! We’d love to look after her, she was so cute last time trying to read us her princess book,” Emily said.
“I might have to prep a few bits for the case but Em will be fine on her own with her she’s really good with the boys at home,” JJ said.
“Okay, thank you guys so much,” You took your coffee and returned to your seat.
——————
It was already 4:30 pm when the plane landed in New York and the hotel you were staying in was about 15 minutes away. Delilah had fallen asleep just before you went into the SUV, you were hoping she’d sleep until you got to the hotel so she’d be less irritable when you told her you and Spencer were going out for dinner.
You rested your head on Spencer’s shoulder, “I have a surprise for you.”
“What is it?” Spencer raised his eyebrow in curiosity.
“I’m taking you out to dinner,” You ran your hand up and down his arm.
“Thank you, How come?” He had a big smile on his face.
“Early birthday dinner, Em and JJ are going to watch Delilah while we are out.”
“Do you think they can watch her a little longer after dinner too?” Spencer whispered into your ear.
Your cheeks clouded with blush and a little laugh left your mouth, “Stop that Spence.”
“I didn’t say anything wrong,” He said with a smug smile and a little smirk.
——————
You and Spencer walked into Carmine’s Italian restaurant hand in hand.
Once you were sat down at the table waiting for your food, he reached across the table and started drawing circles with his finger on top of your hand.
“Thank you for this,” He tucked your hair behind your ear with his other hand.
“Thank you for being you, you’re such a good Dad and husband Spence I don’t tell you enough. Happy early birthday,” You leaned across the table to kiss him.
“You tell me more than enough love but I don’t think I tell you enough that you’re an amazing Mom and wife I don’t what either of us would do without you.”
Once your food arrived you ate and made small talk together until going back to the hotel to collect your beautiful daughter from JJ and Emily.
452 notes · View notes
chaostudee · 4 months ago
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i love you i'm sorry, charles leclerc + jude bellingham
summary : y/n y/ln and charles leclerc are the it couple in the f1 universe and when they aren't spotted together for some time hell breaks loose all over the internet. it's not long before y/n starts soft launching a new relationship but unbeknownst to her charles is still keen to get her back. faceclaim : cindy kimberly a/n : pls lmk if u want part 2 because i have so many ideas hehe
y/nusername a girl who is going to be just fine because she has her two boys.
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liked by charlesleclerc, kikagomez, landonorris and 2,729,920 others.
charlesleclerc forever mon amour ❤️
y/nusername forever and always x
f1fan829 this is who i want to be when i grow up
user9292 no wag has ever wagged like she has
y/nfan91 crying because why are they acc the cutest ever 😭😭
user_0082 mom and dad
f1lover4eva id acc die if they broke up
username127 the hottest couple to ever exist and i will stand by that ✋️
kikagomez you have me too girl ;)
y/nusername love uuuu
forzaferrari56 love themmm
user11133 idk who im more jealous of actually
༘˚⋆𐙚。⋆𖦹.✧˚
text messages between y/n and charles
yk i love u right ? charles
ofc i do you only tell me like a hundred times a day 😭 y/n
ik ik i just don't want u to ever forget it, god im going to miss you sm over the next few weeks charles
oh baby we'll be okay and besides the monaco gp is less than a month away y/n
ik but i'm really going to miss you charles
such a simp y/n
🙄 charles
i'm really going to miss you too y/n
༘˚⋆𐙚。⋆𖦹.✧˚
charlesleclerc tough race for us as a team, hopefully we can bounce back at the next one 💪
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liked by f1, y/nusername, carlossainz and 1,182,929 others.
user182 it's okay pookie we still love you 🫶
f1fan totally not your fault ferrari are to blame again
username67 wtf was that strategy....
f1lover plsss a podium in monaco we believe in you <3
user728 stopp he looks so sad
y/nusername love you always x
charlesleclerc 😘
forzaferrari they are actually just screwing up this whole championship for him
y/nusername 🌟🐇
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liked by charlesleclerc, carmenmundt, lewishamilton and 2,018,528 others.
username_89 oh charles i get it
user00 she is literally the prettiest everrrr
f1fan it's giving disney princess
ln4_7 WE NEED Y/N IN MONACO OH PLS I BEG
charlesleclerc i'm so lucky
user116 atleast he's aware f1lover 😭😭
carmenmundt the prettiest angel <3
user728 omgg i need that lip combo rnnn
f1lover yes i am indeed jealous of charles leclerc
f1 monaco gp this weekend !!
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liked by charlesleclerc, y/nusername, maxverstappen and 1,302,628 others.
user88 the girls that get it get it
f1fan this is my superbowl
user7202 i've waited all year for thissss
f1lover hoping that charles can acc get the winnn
user728_7 yesss ferrari pls don't mess up his strategy i beggg
user11 hehe can't waittt
y/nusername monaco ✈️
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charlesleclerc it feels like a fever dream bit i couldn't be happier, the best weekend on my life. i love you all so much thank you for supporting me.
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liked by y/nusername, maxverstappen, carlossainz and 5,728,929 others.
maxverstappen congrats :)
charlesleclerc ❤️ f1fan never beating the lestappen allegations
user78 so we can all collectively agree we all cried when charles crossed the line??
y/nusername so incredibly proud of you my sweet boy i love you so so much
user728 i can't im so emotional rn
username y/n's comment omg im sobbingg
f1fan never ever getting over this
f1updates highlight of my year actually
user266 his smile 🦋🦋
*y/nusername has just uploaded a new video*
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》 oh my queen
》 her vlogs are acc my comfort
》 stopp the clip of charles playing piano to her im sobbing
》 her reaction to charles' win is everything
》 her voice is so soothing
》 i got the notification and screamed
y/nusername a quick stop in paris 🥐🇫🇷
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liked by charlesleclerc, landonorris, pierregasly and 1,819,729 others.
pierregasly are u happy to be in paris
y/nusername oui
user845 "a quick stop in paris" oh girl u rich rich
username ugh to be leo leclerc like that dog has a better life than me and it's sad honestly
f1fan awww the cutest family
landonorris where was my invite :,(
f1lover whenever y/n posts ik it's going to be good
user78 i don't think i'd be okay if they ever broke up
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༘˚⋆𐙚。⋆𖦹.✧˚
texts between charles and y/n
was this whole relationship just a joke to you y/n
did i ever even mean anything to you y/n
fuck of course you did baby i love u charles
you love me?!?! y/n
yes yk i do charles
we have been together 6 YEARS 6 YEARS CHARLES y/n
if you are not ready now, you are never going to be y/n
thats not true charles
yes it is charles y/n
if u don't want to marry me after 6 years of being in love with me you never want to it's as simple as y/n
i'm sorry but i just can't be with someone who doesn't want the same things y/n
charlesleclerc summer
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liked by landonorris, maxverstappen, danielriccardio and 7,192,111 others.
landonorris ☀️
user828 i'm speechless
username11 looks like charles got leo
f1fan i miss them
user718 this breakup just can't be real
f1lover he's already replaced y/n with lando 😭
username_55 unless i see a statement or them dating other people i'm just going to try to convince myself it's rumours
anon delulu is the solulu
y/nusername i've never been happier :)
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liked by charlesleclerc, carmenmundt, kikagomez and 5,299,551 others.
username_67 👀
user28 this is so petty of her and i love it
f1fan help not charles in the likes
f1_wag i refuse to believe they broke up....yes i'm that delulu
user727 that post breakup glow 😍
f1lover oh charles defo regrets losing her like omggg how can someone be this gorgeous
charlie_7 these pics are so aesthetic i could cry
user51 ik everyone only cares about the drama but GUYS Y/N IS SERVING CUNT
༘˚⋆𐙚。⋆𖦹.✧˚
texts between charles and y/n
please y/n charles
please charles
i can't take it anymore charles
i regret everything i said and i wish i had never even said it i wish i could take it all back charles
fuck i love u sm charles
i don't deserve you one bit charles
yeah you don't y/n
leave me alone charles y/n
we're done y/n
move on y/n
but i can't
*this user has blocked you*
༘˚⋆𐙚。⋆𖦹.✧˚
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judebellingham
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liked by y/nusername, football728, realmadridfc and 7,929,728 others.
user828 he fine asfff
f1fan guys y/n is in the likes....
username728 what a player 🤍
user_27 great game today jude keep it up!!
f1lover waittt are y/n and jude like dating
user25 omgg stop she just liked his post get over it weirdo
anon charles is better
username_12 great game, but y/n y/ln come on man
y/nusername finally found someone who treats me right 🤭🫶
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liked by judebellingham, oscarpiastri , maxverstappen and 4,729,519 others.
user727 BRO WHAT
username i just opened instagram-
f1fan im shooketh
oscarpiastri glad you're happy ❤️
y/nusername thanks x user828 I KNEW IT I KNEW OSCAR WAS TEAM Y/N
user999 oh charles
f1lover f1 wag to football wag is crazy like girl what crystals are u using?????
user_27 ik this was probably supposed to be a soft launch....but girl you just broke the internet
username616 ik y/n is giggling just reading all these comments
༘˚⋆𐙚。⋆𖦹.✧˚
texts between lando and charles
did you see y/n's post? lando
yup charles
are you okay? lando
ha i mean no not at all charles
like its only been like 5 months and i have told her that i want her and i love her and now she's with him charles
sry mate but jude is actually sound lando
shit ik he is that's what makes this worse charles
maybe he is better than me charles
oh charles mate don't be thinking like that lando
lando she's never going to take me back charles
you don't know that lando
she blocked me charles
oh lando
like how am i supposed to sort everything with her charles
maybe you still can lando
how....wdym? charles
write her a song lando
......are u being fr charles
well yes i was but forget it just trying to help lando
no no wait you might actually be right charles
ha your welcome lando
༘˚⋆𐙚。⋆𖦹.✧˚
vogue model y/n y/ln confirms relationship with footballer jude bellingham
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liked by f1fan7282, kikagomez, georgerussell and 5,910,011 others.
user9292 ik we all knew BUT WHAT
f1fan charles is probably dying rn
user0 imagine fumbling the y/n y/ln
user0101 jude is one lucky guy
username78 she's still the IT girl in my eyes idc what ya'll say
f1lover girl it's only been a couple of monthssss like chilll
user627 ugh if only i was a rich model living in monaco
y/nlover wait this is acc so iconic
charlesleclerc my first single "i love you i'm sorry" from my debut album comes out tomorrow at 12pm est. i have put alot of work into this and i hope you guys enjoy it just as much as i enjoyed making it. music has always been an escape for me and a way for me to express my feelings so i felt that it was right to put this album out. love you all ❤️
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liked by landonorris, lewishamilton, oscarpiastri and 10,729,819 others.
user879 this is actual insanityyyy like sir wdymmm
f1fan oh he's hurtttt
user929 okay okay ik we all know its about y/n but can we talk about how that is literally SIR LEWIS HAMILTON IN THE SECOND PIC TF?!
f1lover i feel like im living through a moment of history rn
lewishamilton love u brother had the best time working on this with you 🙌
16_charlie what can't u do???
user000 my divorced parents
anon screw y/n what a bitch
landonorris your welcome everyone (i encouraged him to write this album)
user727 ha this is why we love u lando !! username22 omgg no wayyy f1fan pls this is so on brand for him
taglist ⭑.ᐟ
@lottalove4evelyn
@llando4norris
@hadidsworld
@sweetestgirlintown111
@mxryxmfooty
@heavy-vettel
690 notes · View notes
lighthouseas · 6 months ago
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stranger things would've been funny as a mockumentary. like imagine will just bitchily looking into the camera as he watches mike and el being disgustingly "in love" at the airport or whatever. cut to him doing his interview. "im gay, okay? is it obvious now? and yes, as a gay person, i do find it sickening when my best friend kisses my foster sister." he lowers his voice to a whisper and looks behind him, where mike and el are still talking out of earshot. "id even go as far as to call it homophobic, but using that word here would probably be dangerous for me. so let's just say it's gross."
cut to mike doing his interview "yeah so uh...hugging will was weird, i guess." he scratches the back of his head and sighs. "and kissing el also felt weird. but like, that's fine. being on an airplane makes your brain do weird shit, you know? like with the food tasting different? that's gotta be it." he seems satisfied with this conclusion and smiles. "el's lips felt weird and chapped and cold and gross because i was on an airplane, and will, uh, his arms felt- different, because, uh, ummm- there's gotta be some scientific explanation for that, right? why are you guys looking at me like that?"
the camera cuts to el looking at her flowers that say "from mike" and then at the camera. cut to el's interview. she's holding mike's flowers and looks completely over it. "i am constantly on the verge of crying. mike does not need to know that, though." she forces a smile at the camera and twirls her hair.
cut to argyle, hugging mike and looking straight at the camera as he does. his interview. "listen, im like, totally zonked out right now, but man, that little wheeler kid was acting mad weird, man. little bro needs some weed. and new threads, i tag checked him when i hugged him."
cut to jonathan, staring at the camera with wide eyes. jonathan's interview. "oh, mike? yeah, i think i need to kill that guy."
769 notes · View notes
evie-sturns · 1 year ago
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Truth or Dare - Matt Sturniolo
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summary: an innocent game of truth or dare results in you losing your virginity to matt.
warnings: NSFW, swearing.
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"mattt.." i groan as my head rests on his lap. "you alright baby?" matt says quietly as he puts down his phone.
me and matt have been together for about 2 months, but we've never done anything sexually, ive never done anything sexually. im a total virgin and matt doesnt know.
"we should do something" i say sitting up on the couch and readjusting my ponytail. "like what?" matt says softly as he stands up "likee... truth or dare?" i say giggling and matt smiles at me "what are we, in 6th grade" matt says with a small laugh.
i stand up and drag matt to the bedroom, shutting the door behind us. matt sits down on the bed and i instantly crawl onto his lap, straddling him. "okay hmf, truth or dare?" i ask smiling and matt grins at me "truth? i dont know." he replies awkwardly "have you ever done anything illegal?" i say smirking and he doesn't reply. "matt..." i say dragging out the 'a' trying to hold back another laugh.
after a few rounds, matt starts to shift uncomfortably under me. i reposition myself on his lap and he groans "are you okay? am i too heavy sorry.." i say awkwardly "no- no..you just might need to get off" matt mumbles as i see his cheeks flush.
i realise whats happening, matts bulge is poking my ass. as soon i realise i jump off him and cover my face out of embarrassment. my grabs my wrists and pulls my hands off my eyes. my cheeks go a deep red and he smiles at me, i see his eyes flick down to my lips and i smash my lips into his. he grabs my waist and pulls me back onto his lap. he breaks for a second and grabs the hem of my shirt. "ca-can i?" matt asks and i dont fully understand what he means, but i agree to it. he pulls my shirt over my head, revealing my pink lacy bra. my eyes widen but i ignore it.
is this really happening? am i even ready? am i about to loose my virginity?
i go along with it, ill be fine. he unclasps my bra and his cheeks and the tips of his ears go pink. he is the first man to ever see my chest. he flips us over so im on my back, he looks down at me and puls down my shorts slowly, revealing my matching panties. "fuck your so perfect." matt grumbles. hes fully clothed but im only wearing my panties, its somewhat humiliating. he quickly pulls down his sweatpants and his dick springs out onto his stomach, its big. jesus christ its big.
he pulls my panties off and rubs his tip against my clit. he teases my entrance and my breathing becomes more frantic, why am i so scared? i feel a few tears roll down my cheek and matt gasps looking at me, insantly pulling away from me and yanking up his sweatpants. "hey, hey, are you okay?" he says shakily grabbing my cheek "sorry." i sniffle as i wipe my eyes. matt sits down on the bed and i sit up, he maintains a distance "dont cry, im so sorry can you talk to me please, whats going on sweetheart" he says gently and fidgets with his rings. i shuffle over and sit on his lap. his breath hitches in his throat as my naked body leans against him, but he plays it off as a cough. "just promise you wont judge me okay?" i say breaking the silence and he stambles "i would never judge you sweetheart." he says soothingly
"i know i havent told you but im a.. uh.. virgin." i whisper out and he nods understandingly "but i thought i was ready.. its not your fault i- i just uh. when you took your pants off it was.." i say quietly as i wipe my eyes "its big.. your dick is really big." i say with an embarrassed giggle. he just smiles at me "im sorry for taking it fast, i would've gone slow if i knew, your just so pretty i assumed youd done it." he says comforting me and rubbing my thighs "i wanna do it still though." i say quietly and he nods "o-okay!!" he says trying to hold back his excitement "do you wanna ask me questions before we start" he asks "well i did wanna know uhm, how many people have you fucked." i say softly "3 people, yeah uh.. three." he says i let out a sigh of relief "so your good at it??" i reply instantly and matt laughs rubbing his eyes "i guess?" he says embarrased and i get off his lap.
"can you talk me through it?" i ask laying back on the bed "yeah, okay sure!" he says positioning himself between my legs "im gonna have to stretch you out a little first okay? i dont want it to hurt." he says and i nod "just my middle finger, have you ever done this to yourself?" i shake my head "no.." and he just nods "okay thats fine!" he says "just relax okay." he says pushing his long middle finger all the way into me "your doing so good." he growls quietly thrusting it slowly in and out. "i'm gonna add another finger, and your gonna take it really well." he says pushing another finger into me.
this is a really new sensation, but it feels really good. it kind of burns though.
after a few minutes of him spreading his fingers apart inside of me he pulls both of his fingers out and i whine "baby your gonna get my cock, be patient." he says sternly and i nod quickly. he positions his tip at my entrance and i moan softly "such pretty noises." he mumbles as he pushes his tip just inside of me and pulls it back out, then pushes it in again. "so fucking tight oh my god." he whimpers as he pushes slightly more into me "im just gonna give you half okay?" he says sliding further into me and i let out a long moan. "its okay baby, hold my hand" he says reaching his hand out and gripping my sweaty palm.
"your only taking half, do you think you can take the rest of it?" he whispers in my ear "yeah- yes matt.." i say nervously and he slides all the way in, his tip kissing my cervix "so good for me baby." he says resting inside of me "so so perfect." he groans as he slides all the way out to his tip, then pushes all the way inside me again. "fuck.." he whimpers as he starts to thrust in and out faster "matt oh my god." i moan as he presses on my lower stomach with his free hand, so he can feel how deep he is inside of me. the stomach bulge is clear and its driving matt crazy. "your clenching baby, cum for me." he whispers "i- i dont know how to!!" i say loudly and he shushes me "yes you do, i know you can." he stays calm and i let out a loud moan before orgasming all over his length "goodd... fuck oh my fuck.. so good baby so so perfect." he whispers words of affirmation in my ears before abrubtly pulling out and cumming all over my tits "fuck fuck fuck.." he says quickly as he strokes his dick a few final times before collapsing next to me and grabbing my waist to pull me into a tight hug on the bed. "you did so well. so so well." he says in between heavy pants as my legs just shake.
"your legs are shaking, you sure your okay?"
"i-i just..." i can barely string together a sentence as my hole aches.
-------------------------°°••....••°°------------------
yall BETTER send me requests in my inbox PLEASE!!
1K notes · View notes
cece693 · 1 month ago
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I Don't Need A Gentleman
pairing: edward cullen x gender neutral reader tags: edward is old fashioned and kinda a prude, the reader is not, reader doesn't want vanilla sex anymore, alice and rosalie are cool sister in laws
You lounge on the massive, cream-colored couch in the Cullens’ living room, scrolling absentmindedly through your phone as Alice and Rosalie flip through a stack of fashion magazines. It’s one of those rare, lazy evenings—no imminent threats, no pressing vampire drama—just the family scattered around the house doing their own thing. Alice bumps your foot with hers. “You’re weirdly quiet today. Seriously, what’s up?”
You look up, tapping the phone against your knee. “It’s kind of about Edward.”
Rosalie arches a perfectly groomed brow. “What did our golden boy do now?”
Your cheeks—if they still could—might blush. “He didn’t really do anything wrong, exactly. It’s just…” You pause, gathering your thoughts. Even though you’ve been married to Edward for a while, it can still be tough to put some things into words. “He’s super considerate, and I adore that about him. But sometimes—okay, a lot of times—I just wish he’d show a little more…passion? Fire?”
Alice makes a sympathetic face, setting her magazine aside. “He can be a bit old-school, yeah. He has that ‘eternally seventeen’ gentleman thing down to a T.”
“Tell me about it,” you huff. “I’m a vampire, too! I mean, I’m not exactly made of glass. But he keeps treating me like I’m this delicate flower that might crumble if the wind blows too hard. I swear, sometimes our kisses feel like little pecks—like he’s worried I’ll spontaneously combust if he lingers longer than three seconds.”
Rosalie leans back, crossing her arms. “Look, Edward’s always been overly cautious. It’s one of his most annoying…okay, fine, endearing qualities. But you can’t blame him for wanting to protect you. He’s basically built that way.”
You sit up straighter, pushing your hair out of your face. “Totally. I get it. I love how he’s protective, and, well, a total gentleman. But I need more of that oomph. Y’know, that feeling where you just can’t keep your hands off each other.”
Alice snorts a laugh. “I never thought I’d hear you say ‘oomph.’ You should definitely say that to Edward’s face. He’d probably blush so hard, if vampires could blush.”
“Yeah, yeah,” you say, rolling your eyes playfully. “But how do I bring it up without hurting his feelings? He’s so sensitive. The moment he thinks he’s made me even slightly uncomfortable, he clams up.”
Rosalie sets the magazine aside with a little thump. “You’re married. He can handle the conversation. Trust me, you should be honest about it. Being in love for, what, decades? That means talking about the hard stuff, or the passionate stuff.” She smirks at that last part.
Alice nods enthusiastically, tucking her legs up beneath her. “The best way is just to be straightforward. Tell him how you feel without making it sound like he’s doing something wrong. Emphasize that you love his old-fashioned side—it’s part of why you married him, right? But also make it crystal clear that you want him to dial up the heat. You’re a vampire, for crying out loud, not some breakable human.”
You exhale, feeling a sense of relief wash over you. “You guys are right. I’m probably overthinking it. I’m worried he’ll take it the wrong way, but I can’t just keep ignoring how frustrated I am.”
“Exactly.” Alice taps your knee again. “He’ll listen, especially if you remind him that you still love all the things that make him Edward. He just needs to hear that you want him to trust your strength, too.”
Rosalie stands, stretching with the fluidity of a cat. “And if that doesn’t work, just throw him up against a wall somewhere. That’ll get the point across.”
Alice gasps in mock horror. “Rosalie Hale! That’s your brother you’re talking about.”
She smirks. “Hey, I’m just saying, sometimes subtlety isn’t the answer.”
You laugh, shaking your head. “Let me try talking first before I start tossing him around.”
Alice and Rosalie share amused glances as you stand, giving a quick wave. “Thanks for the advice, seriously.”
“Anytime,” Alice sings out.
“Go get ’em,” Rosalie adds, winking.
You head up the stairs to find Edward, heart fluttering in that familiar way only he can cause, despite both of you being, well, undead. He’s in his usual spot in the family’s library, flipping through a thick novel—something old and fancy, undoubtedly. The moment he senses you, he glances up with a small smile, eyes full of that unwavering devotion.
“Hey,” you say, crossing the room until you’re close enough to rest a hand on his shoulder. “Got a minute to talk?”
“Of course,” Edward responds softly, setting the book aside. He tilts his head, concern flickering in those golden eyes. “Is everything all right?”
“It is,” you reassure him, settling in beside him on the velvet couch. You can still hear Alice’s and Rosalie’s voices drifting faintly from downstairs, but you focus on Edward. “I just wanted to share something that’s been on my mind, and it’s really important to me.”
He nods earnestly. “You know you can tell me anything.”
Taking a breath, you gently place your hand over his. “So, we’ve been together for a long time. We’re married, and I’m a vampire—just like you, right? But sometimes I feel like you’re handling me with kid gloves. I love your gentlemanly side, and I’d never want you to completely lose that. But I want us to be able to express our love passionately, without you worrying so much that I’ll break.”
Edward’s gaze drops to your entwined hands. “I—I see,” he says quietly. “I never meant to make you feel like you weren’t my equal. It’s just…I can’t shake the habit of worrying you might be hurt or regret something if I let go too much. Even though you’re stronger than any human I once knew, it’s hard to override decades of caution.”
Leaning in, you brush a gentle kiss against his cheek. “I know. And I respect how deeply you care. But hey, my strength is legit.” You grin, flexing half-jokingly. “I promise, I can handle more. And if something’s too much, I’ll tell you.”
Edward’s lips curve into a small smile. “Thank you for being honest with me. I guess I needed a reminder that I’m not the only one in this relationship who has a say—especially when it comes to showing affection.”
Your heart (metaphorically) flutters at the genuine warmth in his voice. “Exactly. I love being with you, and I don’t want you to hold back. We can figure out the balance, you know, do the old-fashioned courting stuff, but also, I don’t know…maybe occasionally break the furniture?”
His eyes widen for half a second in surprise, then he laughs, the sound soft and musical. “I’ll keep that in mind,” he teases, sliding a hand around your waist to pull you closer. This time, when you tilt your head up for a kiss, you feel him lean in just a bit more—a tiny, tangible shift. His lips linger, his cool hand splaying across your back. The moment stretches on until you both draw away, contented smiles on your faces.
“That,” you whisper, thumb brushing against his jaw, “was exactly what I’ve been missing.”
Edward’s eyes shine with affection. “Then I’ll make sure you never miss it again.”
Downstairs, you can practically hear Alice’s “Yes!” whispered under her breath, and you know Rosalie is grinning in that smug way that says, “Told you so.” It makes you laugh softly. But that’s the beauty of this big, unconventional vampire family.
Edward gently presses his forehead against yours. Neither of you needs to breathe, but the moment feels like a breath of fresh air anyway. Old-fashioned or not, he’s all yours—and he’s finally letting you show him that you’re every bit the strong partner he deserves. And judging by the heat in his eyes, this is just the beginning.
207 notes · View notes
idkwhatever580 · 9 months ago
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I would die happy
Pairings: teen!Natasha Romanoff x teen!reader
Song Inspiration: very loosely based off of the songs Casual by Chappell Roan and Ashley by Zolita (They’re good to listen to before hand but not necessary. I’ll link them)
Prompt: what happens when “good girl” y/n breaks it off with “bad girl” Natasha and Natasha realizes she needs y/n more than she thought?
Warnings:mentions of sex, angst then fluff, mentions of death? (From the song).
Pronouns: unspecified (one use of ma’am but in a silly way)
A/N: No this is not an actual songfic. I just took inspiration from the songs so there might be a line or five in the mix. I have had these songs stuck in my head the past few days and I kept imagining like a teen romance coming out of it? Idk. Hopefully I write this better than the last one 😭
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Y/n’s pov
I am in my room doing my homework when I hear tapping on my window. I look up from my neat desk to see Natasha.
My instinct is to smile and open the window up but I freeze.
Natasha Romanoff.
Bad girl. She vandalizes things. She doesn’t participate. And she dresses like a fuck boy.
Some call her a player. Some call her a cheater.
Whatever they think there’s one thing everyone can agree on. Natasha romanoff does not do relationships.
She’s usually the one night stand type of girl but then she met me. And that’s when everyone says she went soft. She never fucked another girl other than me.
But that’s all. For half a year. All she’s ever done is sex, aftercare, leave, repeat.
Another set of tapping falls upon my ears and I zone back in. I open the window and whisper
“What are you doing here?”
Natasha crawls in and says
“Wanted to see you. You alright there? You zoned out for a sec”
I nodded my head and my eyes fall upon her necklace. It’s silver with a little arrow.
I hate myself when I think of it. I nod my head and say
“Yeah. Totally fine. Just doing some homework”
I sit back down at my desk even though I know why Natasha is here.
After a whole 6 months of this it’s hard to not know what her routine is. But I don’t want it anymore.
Obviously I caught feelings. Who wouldn’t catch feelings for her? I just thought that I would get over it. I thought that having some of her is better than none of her at all right?
Wrong.
I cry so much now. All I want is for her to love me back. But that’s not reality. She doesn’t do love. She doesn’t do relationships. And I can’t do it anymore.
Natasha walks up behind me and rubs her hands down my arms and starts kissing my neck. My body lets her do it but then I think about it and take her hands off me.
“Not tonight. I have to study”
She doesn’t let up. Because usually I like playing hard to get. So she doesn’t know. And that’s okay. It’s my fault she doesn’t know.
“I can help you relax baby”
I roll my eyes at the pet name and say
“Natasha. Can we talk?”
She stands up straighter at my use of her full name and says
“Yeah. Sure”
I can tell she is a bit surprised at me but she nods her head nevertheless.
She sits down at the foot of my bed and I roll my chair over to her.
I sigh and look at the ground.
“I don’t know how to say this, but I can’t do this anymore Natasha”
She furrows her eyebrows and says
“You can’t do what?”
“This Natasha,”
I point at her and myself
“I hate myself for letting this drag on so long because I know you. I know you don’t want a relationship. But I lo- I like you Natasha. And I want you. All to myself. I want labels and I want to go to the pier together and eat popsicles and I want you to tell your friends and I want a future with you.”
I can tell I’m overwhelming her with this information but I keep going
“But you don’t want that. And that’s okay! I understand that some things aren’t meant to last. But I can’t keep hurting myself for some fun okay? I need to heal and move on. And you can go find another toy to play with and that’s okay. I just can’t be the one you go to anymore. It’s not what I want. And our ideals clearly do not align. I thought maybe I could do it and be able to handle all of this but I can’t.”
I tear up a bit
“I can’t be casual with you. I want feelings attached and I want you to myself but you don’t want me like that. So I need to cut it off.”
I finally finish my rant and I look down feeling embarrassed.
“I’m sorry”
I apologize and she shakes her head
“Don’t apologize. I get it.”
We sit there for a minute of awkward silence and she sighs and says
“I guess I should go then”
I nod my head and sniffle a bit. She lingers like she has something to say but she ultimately leaves and on her way out of my window she says
“I’ll see you at school I guess”
I nod my head.
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It’s been a week since I cut it off with Natasha and I look rough. My friends are worried about me but I tell them I’m fine.
Even some of my teachers have asked if I’m okay. Of course I lie to them. But it’s nice to know someone cares.
I have avoided Natasha at all costs. But I still find myself thinking about her.
Her arrow necklace. God I hate myself when I think of it. Because then I think of her. And then I start crying. Or I just shut down.
Yes. I may or may not have almost said I love you the night I cut it off with her. But I didn’t want her to have to hold all of my baggage. It’s not fair. She doesn’t like me like that. And she doesn’t deserve to feel guilty for what I feel.
My friend Emerald walks up to me during a free period and she says
“Hey did you see Natasha today?”
I shake my head and say
“I don’t want to talk about her.”
She shakes her head and says
“Well you’re gonna have to listen. She is the talk of the school right now so either you hear it from me or someone else.”
I roll my eyes and say
“What Em? Does she have a new toy hanging on her shoulder?”
Clearly I’m a little ticked off about having to hear about her.
But em shakes her head and I look at her and wait for her to continue
“She’s wearing your hoodie”
I look at her and say
“My hoodie? She doesn’t have any of my clothes, except for that bra that I’ll probably never get back”
She takes out her phone and shows me my favorite hoodie. It’s the pink one that I got from the thrift store. They all knew it was mine because it has em’s name on the sleeve. And a duck on the front.
I remember now. I forgot it at her house one time after she fucked me in her beach house. That was the day everyone found out and started talking about how I’m just a girl she fucked on her couch.
I cried so much that I forgot about it. And of course she just came over to make me forget about all the things people said.
I look at her and say
“Why would she ever wear that?”
She wiggles her eyebrows at me and says
“She obviously likes you y/n”
I roll my eyes and say
“She doesn’t like me Em. From the beginning everyone has known she doesn’t do crushes.”
Em shrugs her shoulders and says
“People can change.”
I roll my eyes and get a little frustrated and say
“Leave it Em. I don’t want to talk about it.”
She puts her hands up in surrender and leaves it at that.
The rest of the day goes by slowly. But I catch a glimpse of Natasha at the end of the day. She is wearing my hoodie. She looks good in it. But she shouldn’t be wearing that. I’m not hers. And she’s not mine.
I quickly leave so she doesn’t see me. Even though we definitely made eye contact. But it’s whatever.
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It’s about 8 pm now and I’m studying again. This final is about to make or break me so I can’t let myself loosen the reigns even though it’s only a midterm.
I have my headphones on and I’m listening to classical because it apparently helps people study. I’m honestly doing anything to help me.
A hand taps my shoulder and I jump up quickly but thankfully I don’t yell.
I turn around quickly and see Natasha standing there.
I immediately get frustrated and say
“What are you doing here?”
I take a second to actually look at her and she looks like shit. Honestly she is looking at me like a lost puppy. Like she hasn’t been in my room for six months. Her hair is a mess, shes still in my hoodie, and the bags under her eyes indicate that she hasn’t been sleeping well. I almost feel bad for her. Then I remember I can’t let my feelings get in the way. She says
“I um… I wanted to talk to you”
I sigh and say
“Well what is it? I’m listening?”
I feel bad for being so short with her but I can’t do it any other way or else I’ll break down.
She kind of stands there for a second and I sit down on my bed and pat it. I might as well be nice to her. She’s not a horrible person anyways.
She shakes her head slightly and keeps standing. I look at her and say
“You wanted to talk?”
She nods her head and says
“I don’t know how to say this but… I- I need you y/n”
I have never seen Natasha cry once. But she immediately breaks down in front of me
“I can’t do this without you. I need you so bad I just want all of you. I thought that if I convinced myself that it was for the better, that if I said I wanted this it would come true. But it’s not true I- I love you and I know you are probably over me by now and that’s okay I just need to tell you that I want you and only you. I know I’ve never done anything like this but I want to I want to change. I want to be good. For you. I want to take you on dates and tell everyone about you. And I don’t think I can do this without you because life is like a bad dream without you and I didn’t even realize what I had until I lost it!”
She starts crying. I start tearing up at her confession and I say
“Stop it. Stop it Natasha.”
It’s short and snippy because I’m about to cry.
“You can’t just say those things and pull at my heart just to get into my pants okay? I’m sorry that nobody wanted to get with you but I cannot just go crawling back to you if you just lie to me to get me back”
She looks at me and she shakes her head aggressively and says
“No. No I don’t. I don’t want to get into your pants I actually love you. I didn’t even know it because I’ve never felt love before y/n. Please you have to understand me I love you. I love you so much and I want a future with you. I was just scared but I’m not scared anymore I want you!”
She drops to her knees and tries to calm down a bit and says
“I understand if you don’t want me but I want you. I want to be your girlfriend. I want to introduce you to my friends and family. And- and I know my past doesn’t help anything. My reputation is probably your biggest fear but I can’t imagine my life without it. I’ve never been the sappy type but I’m telling the truth. If loving you kills me then I will die happy y/n”
I look at her from my bed and I see the genuine look in her eyes. I tear up again and the I get down from my bed and she looks down. It’s like she’s worshipping me. Like if she doesn’t she might lose me.
I envelope her in a hug and she starts crying into me. And I say
“Tell me that you love me and you won’t leave me.”
She looks at me with tears running down her face and her nose is sniffly and she says with such confdence
“I love you y/n. Nothing can change that. I won’t ever leave you. Not even if I could. I want to be yours”
I smile at her as she waits for me to answer and I grab her head and lean into her. I kiss her.
This kiss is different than any other kiss I’ve ever shared with her. It’s soft and tender. And full of love. I don’t even care that her tears and boogers are getting on me.
I don’t care. I just love her. I pull away and giggle and she kind of sits in criss cross. And I say
“Natasha. I love you too. I’ve loved you for a while now. I was just scared to say it.”
She sends me a dopey smile. I’ve never seen her smile at me like that. I like it. So I boop her nose and say
“Cute.”
She scrunches up her nose and says
“I’m everything but cute right now.”
I shake my head and say
“You’re always cute.”
I kiss her again after she wipes her face off and it’s sweet. I pull her into my lap and she says
“I don’t like this.”
Normally I guess she would be more comfortable with me on her lap. But I don’t care.
“I guess you’re just gonna have to suck it up.”
We sit on my floor for a bit and I say
“Oh shit! It’s late.”
I check the time and say
“It’s nine o’clock already! You have to get home baby”
She stops at the nickname and says
“Wait. So… are we?”
I giggle and say
“After all of that? There’s no way we’re not dating. So yes. I’m gonna call you baby. But you need to go home and I need sleep”
She smiles and says
“Can I have a hug before I go?”
I nod my head and pull her in for a long hug.
I kiss her head and then her nose and then her lips and say
“I love you. Now go. I’ll pick you up for school tomorrow?”
She usually walks to school and I drive but I want to pick her up now. She nods her head and I stop her before she leaves my window and I say
“And I want my hoodie back.”
She laughs softly and says
“No way. It’s mine now.”
Then I pull her back in to me and distract her with a kiss. I say
“Well then. I guess this is mine now”
I swiftly pull the hoodie she has on right now off of her and she pouts and says
“Aw man. That’s a good hoodie.”
I smile and say
“Only the best for me right?”
She smiles finally and nods her head and I say
“Text me when you get home okay?”
She nods her head and says
“Yes ma’am”
I giggle and shake my head. I watch as she walks off into the night and I hop onto my bed and cuddle my stuffed animal with a bright smile on my face.
All of that heartache must have been worth it.
She was right. If loving her kills me, then I would die happy.
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A/N: I actually kind of like how this one turned out. I know I pulled from the songs a lot but at least it was built into the words and not like a normal songfic lol. Because I’ve heard that many people do not like songfics :)
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darlingdaisyfarm · 14 days ago
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r you still open for requests? if so and if you havent done this, stan twins taking care of reader on their period? im on my period rn and i lowkey am craving for it,, /nf!!
❥ Stan & Ford taking care of you on your period headcanons <3
a/n: oh anon this one's for you and for everyone dealing with the struggle right now <333 may ur cramps be mild 🙏
STANLEY
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★ “what do you mean you feel like garbage?? you were fine an hour ago! what happened?? who do I have to fight??” and when you explain, he just. OH. THAT.
★ “okay, okay, don’t freak out, but,” he digs around in some closet and pulls out a very old hot water bottle. “this thing got me through some rough winters. i hope this will, uh. . . stop the angry uterus thing.”
★ if anyone (Soos, Dipper, some poor clueless tourist) makes a dumb joke about “mood swings,” Stan will protect you. “oh, you think that’s funny? let’s see how funny it is when I lock you in the Mystery Shack bathroom for a week with no toilet paper!”
★ will not let you lift a finger. so worried about your state he physically shoves you back down if you try to do anything. “nope. nope, nuh-uh, baby, don’t even think about it.”
★ if you're dying from pain and nothing helps, he just holds you close while dramatically saying “oh sweetheart, if only nature was FAIR, it’d be me bleeding instead! why this world is so unfair????”
★ of course he buys you snacks. SO MANY SNACKS. he heard somewhere that chocolate helps, so now he’s bought four different brands of cheap chocolate bars from the gas station
“uh, i got these. one of ‘em’s gotta be the magic one, right?”
★ “old man Mcgucket says bark tea fixes everything. should we. . . should we try bark tea?”
★ once Stanley pulled out a beer and immediately regretted it. “. . . wait, no, that’s for me.”
★ ofc he cooks for you. he’s a big believer that food fixes all things, even if he doesn’t understand the science of it. makes you the heartiest, greasiest, most filling meal he can. you might not even want it but it’s the intent. it's the love. (and if you actually ask for something? he’ll make it with no hesitation)
★ you look even slightly like you’re in pain?? immediate concern. hunched over? “alright, that’s it, you’re going on the couch.” he literally herds you over with his hands on your shoulders, forces you to get comfortable. “c'mon, c'mon, up ya go. feet up. blanket on. there ya go.”
★ lovingly teases you when you cry over dumb stuff, but only a little. “you're cryin’ over a commercial? sweetie, c’mon.” wipes your tears anyway. kisses your forehead after.
★ grocery store trip. Stanley standing in the feminine hygiene aisle, he calls you from the store like, “baby, what the hell is ultra-thin? why are there WINGS on these? you gonna fly away or somethin’? :(”
★ i have a feeling he'll get the wrong ones. Stan comes home proud of himself only for you to be like Stan these are panty liners. he’s FLABBERGASTED. “they were in the same aisle!! they had the same stupid pink packaging!!”
★ eventually, he settles into his caretaking mode, ruffles your hair, makes bad jokes to make you laugh even when you feel awful. if you get emotional from the hormones he panics a little but ultimately just lets you cry on his shoulder and pats your back
★ mutters “alright, where’s it hurt, lemme at it.” then massages your lower back, rubs your stomach clumsily but gently. Stan is determined to physically get rid of your pain somehow even if that’s not how it works
★ makes you rest by putting on a movie and forcing you to stay put. he picks the weirdest mix of old action flicks, crime shows and one sappy romance he swears he doesn’t like. (he totally does.)
★ if you’re in pain he's gonna fix it. but since he can’t punch your uterus, he does the next best thing. distracts the hell outta you. "alright, sweetheart, what’s it gonna be? poker? tall tales? let's watch duck detective?”
you giggle. “Stan, just cuddle me.”
“oh, yeah, you got it, c’mere.” immediately pulls you onto his lap, wrapping his big arms around you, rocking his most precious thing in the world.
★ if you're up at 2 AM, restless from cramps, Stan notices immediately “owwh, doll, let’s getcha comfy.” guides you to the couch, sets you up with a blanket, turns on some quiet late-night TV. he stays up with you, spending sleepless night taking care of you. he sits there, rubbing your back, making sure you’re okay
in some hours more though, he falls asleep next to you, head leaning against yours
STANFORD
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★ HE KNOWS BEFORE YOU DO. this man has studied interdimensional quantum phenomena. you think he hasn’t mapped out your cycle like a scientist mapping the tides???? PLEASE
“sweetheart, shouldn’t you be starting your period soon?”
“what? no?? I feel fine“ and twenty minutes later, you’re in pain
“ah. as I suspected.” Ford says
★ literally tracks it like a researcher. has a whole-ass journal with little notes. estimates symptoms, cravings, moods. he says it's because “I want to be prepared for you”.
you catch him writing in it one day. “Ford, what is that?”
he looks guilty and awkward. “a. . . documentation of your menstrual cycle?”
you take it, open it and your eyes widen. it got a whole-ass formula for predicting your moods
“wtf Ford, you made a menstrual algorithm??”
he rubs the back of his neck. “well, i wanted to ensure that i could be fully prepared for any and all symptoms—“
you’re just staring at the notes, not even listening to him. “did you seriously track that I crave sour candy more than chocolate???”
Ford pushes up his glasses. “i prefer to call it an empirical observation, yes.” next thing you do is kiss him senseless, because this nerd is the most devoted man on the planet
★ i assure you, he's already stocked up. you go to grab something and oh . . . heating pad? already plugged in. pain meds? already out on the counter. ur favorite snacks? somehow already bought. tea? brewing
★ of course! of course you'll get his lectures about periods. “did you know that menstrual cramps are caused by the uterus contracting due to prostaglandins? i read a fascinating study on ways to mitigate the pain—“ but let me tell you, he’s rambling because he’s nervous about you hurting. also because he thinks knowledge = comfort
★ his gentle hands, always. adjusting your blanket. rubbing slow circles into your back. fingertips ghosting over your forehead to check if you’re feverish
★ absolutely 100%, without a doubt, Ford takes notes on what helps you. if you ever say something like “ugh, this tea actually helps a lot” he writes that down. if you offhandedly mention “i think dark chocolate makes it better” he’s buying you ten bars of it next time.
★ he tries to keep you distracted. puts on old sci-fi movies and nerds out over them. reads aloud from a book if you want because he knows you love his voice
“did I ever tell you about the time I discovered a species that only reproduces once every ten years?” he just TALKS to you. calmly. thoughtfully. lets his voice carry you away from the pain.
★ he will stay up with you if you can’t sleep. even if he’s exhausted, even if he has research to do. if you’re in pain, he’s right there. “sleep, darling. I’ll stay up for a while. you need to rest.” strokes your hair until you do and presses a kiss to your temple when you finally drift off.
★ Ford can’t stand inefficiency. the first time he hears you complain about normal period products, he rubbed his chin, thinking. you’re uncomfortable??? with a problem that science could potentially solve???
“hmph. there must be a better way.” he disappears into his lab for hours.
★ what he makes depends on what you complain about! hate pads? “ah. they’re inefficient, bulky and uncomfortable. yes, darling, I see the flaws.”
hate tampons? “too absorbent, prone to leaking at unpredictable rates. . . fascinating, but flawed.”
cramps?? “prostaglandin-induced muscle contractions. I can work with this!”
no problem is too small. he listens to every complaint
★ “i will revolutionise menstruation, darling!” you're so proud of him. Ford is proud of himself too
★ normally, he treats you like his equal, his partner, his greatest love. but when you’re sick ohh he secretly loves having an excuse to baby you. he brings you tea and tests the temperature on his wrist before handing it over. he fluffs your pillows, tucks you in way too snug. if you groan in pain, he’s immediately alert. “what is it? what do you need? tell me, dearest, I’ll get it.”
i can't believe i wrote an entire fic from Ford's pov journaling reader's cycle, im going insane
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lady-lostmind · 1 month ago
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Starting Over
Written for @steddiebingo Countdown to Midnight Prompt: Only One Bed and Main Card Prompt: Starting Over
Rating: T | WC: 2765 
Thank you @oh-stars for betaing!!
Steve turns the key and shoves the sticky door open with a sigh. It’s been a long day. A long drive since there was no way in hell he was letting Eddie drive. All he wants to do is get in, throw their shit down, take a shower, and go to sleep. 
Eddie stumbles in behind him, whistling low as he looks around the tiny apartment. “Not too shabby. Thanks, Buckley.” 
Steve huffs out a laugh tossing a bag to the side and turning to head back down to get another load. Eddie nudges him before he gets to the door and nods to the hallway. “Let's look at the rest of the place first. Fight over who gets the bigger room.”
Steve rolls his eyes with a smile. “Fine.” 
Eddie bounces down the hall, poking his head into every room he comes to before freezing in front of the last room and looking over at Steve with a confused look. “Robin said they were leaving all the furniture while they’re gone, right?”
Steve nods, walking down the hall to catch up with him. “Yeah, why?” 
Steve turns to look in the bedroom Eddie is staring into with wide eyes and– it’s empty. He hops across the hall to the other room and peers in– bed, side table, dresser, even Robin’s beat up tv from her bedroom at home. He turns back to Eddie with his hands on his hips. “Huh– I guess Cassidy actually moved out, then?” 
Eddie shrugs. “Thought they were both coming back after the semester is over.” 
Steve sighs and goes into Robin’s room, perching on the edge of the bed and grabbing the phone off the table. He digs in his pocket for the piece of paper he scribbled her number on and squints at it as he dials, hoping he’s not way off on the time difference and she’s actually awake. She answers after the fourth ring with a groan. “Whoever you are, you better be dead. Or– dying. Actually, maybe I’m going to kill you.” 
Steve grins and huffs out a laugh. “Sorry, Robs. I haven’t figured out when you’re actually awake yet.”
Robin groans again. “Die.” 
Steve rolls his eyes. “So nice to hear from you too. So glad you made it okay. We also made it through our trip fine, thanks for asking.”
Robin groans.
Steve laughs and settles on the bed more. “What gives, I thought Cassidy agreed to let us rent the place as is for the semester?” 
Robin is quiet for a minute and then clearly confused. “What do you mean? She did.”
Steve shakes his head. “I mean…her room is totally empty so–”
“WHAT!?” Robin squawks in his ear. 
Steve grimaces. “I don’t know! All her stuff is gone!”
Robin is silent and then sniffles, like maybe she’s trying not to cry.
Steve sits up, gripping the phone harder as his heart sinks. “Babe, what’s wrong?”
Robin still doesn’t say anything and Steve sighs, realizing what an idiot he’s been. “So you guys were–”
Robin sighs, and Steve knows the answer. “I’m so sorry, babe. What can I do?”
Robin huffs out a wet laugh. “It’s my fault. Really. We got in a fight before I left.” She sighs. “I’ll be fine, I promise. I’m sorry though. I know I promised you guys a fully furnished place while you figure something else out.” 
“Don’t even worry about it. We’ll figure something out. Are you sure you’re okay?”
“I’m on the adventure of a lifetime, babe. Probably for the best anyway.” 
Steve sighs. “Okay, but call me if you need to.”
“I will, dingus.”
Steve hangs up with her after lots of promises on both ends to call more. He glances up at Eddie who is waiting impatiently to be filled in. 
“So– what’s the deal?”
Steve sighs, shaking his head. “Cassidy bailed on her.” 
Eddie lets out a low whistle. “That sucks.” He looks around at the room with a shrug. “Dibs on Buckley’s room.”
Steve’s jaw drops open with a gasp. “You can’t call dibs on the only room with a fucking bed. If anyone gets her room, it’s me. We’re platonic whatevers. She doesn’t want you sleeping in her bed.”
Eddie scoffs. “What am I, some feral animal? Why wouldn’t she want me in her bed!?”
Steve’s face scrunches in disgust. “We all saw your mattress, dude.” 
Eddie’s mouth clenches into a hard line before opening and closing a few times. “I honestly have no argument for that.” 
Steve laughs. “We could switch on and off until we can afford another bed? One on the couch, one in here?”
Eddie sighs, tugging at the end of his hair. “We could just share?”
Steve’s brows cinch together. “Like, just sleep here, together?”
Eddie huffs out a laugh. “I mean, unless you had something else in mind, big boy.”
Steve’s face goes beat red and he rolls his eyes, trying to ignore the little swoop in his stomach. “Fuck you.”
Eddie shrugs, opening his mouth to make another snide remark but Steve throws a pillow at his head, effectively shutting him up. 
Steve sighs, trying to come up with any excuse to say no. “I guess it’s just temporary, right?” 
Eddie nods, hugging the pillow to his chest. 
Steve sighs, “Fine.” 
The rest of the night is spent unloading all their crap from Eddie’s van, and bickering over where to put things. When they’re finally unpacked, Steve collapses on the couch with a groan and looks up where Eddie is hovering over him with a menacing grin. Steve narrows his eyes. “What?” 
Eddie bounces on his toes. “Can we order a pizza?”
Steve sighs. “We need to save money.”
Eddie nods.”I know but we also need to eat. And we didn’t stop for lunch earlier so we could really say we’re just using money already allotted for take out and–” He flashes him another smile. “I really want to try a Chicago deep dish.” 
Steve sighs again, but his stomach rumbles loudly, betraying him and Eddie’s smile spreads even further. Steve rolls his eyes. “Fine! But I get the shelf in the bathroom.” 
Eddie sticks his hand out and grabs Steve’s, shaking it roughly. “Sold. Pleasure doing business with you, sir.” 
Steve shakes his head and pulls his hand back. “You order and I’ll go take a shower.” 
Eddie gives him a little salute and heads off toward the kitchen. 
The pizza is good. Way better than anything they have in Hawkins, that’s for sure. Steve is full, and happy. Can’t believe they actually did it. They got out. They’re starting over. Away from all the crazy monsters and other dimensions. Normal lives. He can actually see having a life here. And when Robin gets back, it’ll be even better. But for now it’s just him and Eddie. And he thinks it’s going to be good. They both need this reset. They need a fresh start. 
Steve yawns and stretches his legs out on the couch, his feet pushing against Eddie’s leg. Eddie swats at his foot with a grin and tosses his paper plate on the coffee table. “You ready for bed?” 
Steve nods, rubbing his eyes. “Yeah. I’m exhausted.” 
Eddie nods. “Me too.” 
By the time Steve gets done with his nightly routine, Eddie is already splayed out in the middle of the bed, snoring softly. Steve rolls his eyes fondly as he turns off the lamp and tries to squeeze in next to him, tugging the blanket from his tight grip and hanging off the edge of the bed. Steve sighs and tries to nudge Eddie over to his side of the bed but instead of turning away from Steve he turns toward him, his arm wrapping around his middle and pulling him close. Steve’s eyes go wide and he freezes. This is quite literally his worst nightmare. Or maybe a dream come true, if the way his heart leaps into his throat has anything to say about it. But– he can’t listen to his stupid heart. That thing gets him in too much trouble. 
Steve sighs, not sure how to extract himself from Eddie’s death grip without waking him up. He tries to carefully wiggle out of his grasp but no matter how he moves Eddie just holds on tight, and snuggles closer into Steve’s back. Steve goes limp with a huff. Robin is a big cuddler when she sleeps, too. This isn’t any different, right? It doesn’t have to mean– It doesn’t mean anything. They’re friends. Just like Robin. And he doesn’t mind, really. Just thought it might be a little…awkward if they wake up like this. But, he’s so comfortable, and it’s not like Eddie knows, right?  And he’s fucking exhausted so–
Steve settles into the bed and goes to sleep with Eddie wrapped firmly around him. 
When Steve wakes up, he’s alone in the bed. Which seems weird since Eddie is never awake before noon. He turns over and squints at the clock on the bedside table. 
9:35am 
Steve shakes his head. Guess we’re going with awkward, then. He gets out of bed, taking his time before making his way down the hall. Eddie is sitting on the couch with a cup of coffee, which he almost spills when he looks up and sees Steve standing in the doorway. Steve raises his eyebrows at him and heads to the kitchen to make himself a cup too. When he turns back around, he finds Eddie already staring at him. “You good, man?”
Eddie drops his eyes and clears his throat. “Oh, yeah. Uh– I’m okay. Good– yeah. Fine.” 
Steve’s brow scrunches together. “Okay–” He sits down on the couch next to Eddie and sighs when Eddie visibly scoots a few inches away from him. 
Steve rolls his eyes and turns to face him more. “Okay, seriously. What’s your problem, man?”
Eddie still won’t look at him, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. “Nothing.”
Steve glares at him. “Okay–” A mean little smirk pulls across his face as he settles back on the couch. “How’d you sleep?”
Steve can barely hold in his laughter as he watches Eddie’s face turn bright red, his eyes going wide and shocked. “Uh– I uh–”
Steve takes a sip of his coffee. “You were up pretty early. Was the bed not comfortable?”
Eddie tugs at the end of his hair and looks at his hands. “No! It was–” He lets out a heavy sigh. “It was fine. Just uh– thought I’d get a jump start today. You know.”
Steve bites his cheek to stop from laughing. He’s being a little mean. He knows he is. Eddie is obviously embarrassed about this. But it’s so ridiculous Steve can’t help himself. So Eddie cuddled up to him in his sleep last night. Big deal. Plus, it’s fun to tease him. Eddie teases everyone about everything, and is usually unphased by anything thrown his way. So seeing him flustered, well– who could resist? 
Steve shrugs. “Well, I slept great.” 
Eddie sucks in a short breath, the red on his face deepening even more. 
Steve decides to take pity on him, leaning forward to grab the paper off the table. “Let’s see if there’s any good job listings, yeah?” 
Eddie gives him a tiny nod and visibly relaxes into the couch. 
It’s been a week since they moved in and Eddie has spent every night on the couch. Steve feels awful. He can tell he isn’t sleeping for shit, and if he hadn’t teased him about that first night, he wouldn’t be avoiding the bed, and Steve, like this. 
Steve pauses at the doorway to the living room, hands on his hips. “Eddie, come on, man. You can’t sleep out here on that shitty couch. Just come to bed.” 
Eddie shakes his head. “No, it’s cool. I really don’t mind it out here.” 
Steve rolls his eyes. He hasn’t asked him about it directly. He hasn’t even brought it up at all. But this is getting ridiculous. “Listen–”
Eddie groans and rakes his hands down his face. “I can’t, okay? I–” He sighs heavily and looks up at Steve with his big, sad doe eyes. 
Steve’s brow scrunches and he shakes his head, confused. He knows he embarrassed him about the cuddling thing but he’s acting like it would be the end of the world to sleep next to him again. Does he– Oh shit. He figured it out. He knows Steve has this massive embarrassing crush on him. He thought he was doing a good job of hiding it. Or at least a better job after– Steve cringes thinking about that night so long ago when they were high and Steve had stupidly reached out and brushed his pretty hair out of his face. The shock he’d seen in Eddie’s eyes. The way he froze and watched Steve’s hand as if he were moving in slow motion. Steve knew he made a mistake. That he’d…read things wrong. He brushed it off as best as he could, and buried his feelings as deep as possible so he wouldn’t lose Eddie as a friend. And it worked. Besides Robin, Eddie is his best friend. They moved past it. 
Until now. Now Steve’s stupid crush is showing its head again and it’s going to ruin everything right when things are supposed to be getting better. Maybe he can fix this. Maybe he can backtrack all of this. Maybe he can scrounge enough cash together to buy a fucking bed and pretend this never–
“I like you, Steve.” Eddie’s voice filters through his internal spiral but it doesn’t make any sense. At all. 
Steve’s face scrunches as he rolls that around in his head a few times. But it’s still coming out all wrong. “What–?”
Eddie tugs his fingers through his hair. “I can’t sleep next to you, okay? I thought it would be fine, and I could be fucking normal about it, but I can’t. My stupid unconscious brain is no good at hiding this. I–” Eddie looks up at Steve with horror in his eyes. “I fucking plastered myself to you while we we sleeping, Steve.” Eddie sighs heavily and slumps against the couch. “I’m so sorry. I should have known better. I have a hard enough time controlling myself around you when I’m actually awake, so–”
Steve’s brain finally catches up with the program. Realizes what Eddie’s actually saying. “Oh.” A little smirk pulls at the corner of his mouth. “You like me.” 
Eddie slumps against the couch looking completely defeated. “Yeah–” Steve starts walking toward Eddie, whose eyes get wider and wider as he gets closer and closer. He sinks further into the couch like he’s afraid Steve is about to sucker punch him or something, his words coming out in a rambled rush. “And I’m sorry, okay? I know this probably ruins every–”
Steve leans down and cups Eddie’s jaw, tilting his head up to look at him as he leans in close, their lips almost touching. Eddie pulls back, eyes still wide and scared. “What are you doing?” He whispers.
Steve smirks, running his thumb along Eddie’s skin. “What does it look like I’m doing?” 
Eddie’s eyes flick between Steve’s, like he can’t believe what’s happening. “Don’t fuck with me, Steve.”
Steve huffs out a little laugh. “I don’t know. I was hoping we might get around to that.” Eddie’s eyes grow comically large and he sucks in a little gasp. “But I figured we could start with a kiss. See where it go–”
Eddie’s lips press harshly against his and his hand winds its way into Steve’s hair, tugging gently. Steve smiles against Eddie’s mouth, chuckling lightly and making him pull back with worry. “Sorry, did I–”
Steve shakes his head. “No. No, just–” He leans back in, pressing his lips more gently to Eddie’s, licking softly at his lower lip until Eddie’s relaxes and parts his lips, letting Steve into his mouth. They both moan into it, hands gripping harder, pulling each other closer. Steve slips down onto Eddie’s lap, straddling his thighs and sighing when Eddie’s hands slide down to grab his ass. They stay that way, tongues tangling together and rocking slowly against each other until Eddie finally breaks the kiss with a laugh. He shakes his head staring at Steve like he’s mesmerized by him. “Is this fucking real right now?” 
Steve huffs out a laugh and shrugs before climbing off of Eddie’s lap and nodding toward the hallway. “Wanna come to bed and find out?”
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feyascorner · 1 year ago
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okay first of all i ADORE ur writing… wanna take a bite out of it..
anyway… uh… can i uhh… order a uhh…. astarion x tav.. and like..tav has a fucking insane pain tolerance and always has.. and like… uhh… one time she gets fucking TOTALED in a fight and like obvi it would hurt… and shes like crying subconsciously.. and when some1 points it out shes like “what???? why am i crying wtf???” and like looks down and is just fucking BLEEDING… n then.. astarion comfort…
only if u want thoo!!!!
a/n. Im like the exact opposite I'm very dramatic about the slightest pain but this is such a cute request so Ty!! ALSO PLS EXCUSE IF THIS IS A LITTLE CLUNKY I HAD TO TYPE THIS OUT W MY FINGERS🫠🫠
Astarion is grateful for your tolerance to pain.
Of course, he doesn't particularly enjoy watching you in pain, but he’s no fool. He knows the sting and the soreness that comes after he drinks from your neck. Well, at least, it should sting. However, it never seemed to bother you, and for that, he's forever grateful for it.
These strange sentiments expand past his thirst for blood, as the relief he feels when you’re battered up after a battle and you smile at him as if nothing’s wrong is incomparable to any other feeling he’s felt.
That relief does not come currently, however.
The battle was nearly hopeless. Overwhelmed in number, mages casting counterspell, fighters constantly aiming at you…he’s lost track of it all. By some miracle you and your companions stand victorious, and when he sees that you offer Karlach a lopsided smile, confirming that you're fine, he reaches to pick up one of his daggers.
“Tav—what in the hells, are you okay?”
It’s then that he spots the way your lip quivers and tears glisten threateningly at your eyes. And when you meet his own, they begin to drip down your cheeks like crystals and roll off your chin. He's seen you in tears before, but out of something more positive—not from pain. Before he can even tell what he's doing, he's rushing toward you.
“Why are you—” he sees the blood seeping from your stomach, and his face would've gone pale if he could.
You finally lift your hands to your face, eyes wide when your fingertips brush against the dampness of your cheeks. “Oh. Why am I?…”
Shadowheart scrambles to scrimmage around her bag. “Here, let me—gods, where did I—did we use all the healing potions?—”
“Oh for hells sake. Because you're bleeding!” Astarion hisses, his hand intertwining with yours as he drags you toward the nearest tree where he sits you down. He freezes when you flinch but you shake your head, wiping at your eyes. Your other companions are still searching the enemy corpses for anything that might relieve you of the pain, but they're taking far too long for his liking.
“I’m okay, it doesn't really hurt that much.”
“You’re crying.”
“I didn't even know I was-” you wince.
His eyes narrow. “Lay down.”
“What? No, I’m really fine!”
“Gods, love, please for once, listen to me. It’s quite straining to watch you clamber around with that ghastly wound on your stomach.”
You frown, but he guides you down anyway, careful to lay down your head against the grass. “Now wait patiently. Maybe if we’re lucky, our dear friends will find a potion before I start developing wrinkles.”
A momentary silence hangs in the air. It’s by no means uncomfortable, but there are words on the tip of his tongue he wishes to say. And when he notices you staring, he sighs.
“If you're hurt, tell us. I don't care how high your pain tolerance is—if you're hurt, call us. Call me. Don't be a fool and bleed out over a few enemies when we’ve been through so much worse.”
The sincerity in his voice is almost embarrassing. But with the way you're watching him so seriously, he can't bring himself to dwell on such irrelevant factors.
Then, you smile again, as if you've forgotten about the pain. “How minor can the pain be for me to call you?”
“What kind of question is that?”
“Can I call you when I stub a toe?”
“Absolutely not.”
“I will.”
He stares at you with lidded eyes and you laugh. He feels the weight on his shoulders get a bit lighter.
“You may call for me whenever you wish.”
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phosphns · 27 days ago
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ARE WE STILL FRIENDS? jj m.
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🫐. you return to the outer banks after leaving suddenly, without an explanation and saying goodbye to jj, the boy you had fallen for.
warns. angst, eventually suggestive, use of y/n [once or twice], making out, parental issues, speaking of betrayal, use of drugs [marijuana], happy ending.
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It was one year since you left. One year since you left him, not even bothering to say goodbye.
One day you were on the beach, laughing at the tourons between million kisses. The next, you were gone.
Saying that you hurt him wasn’t enough. He wasn’t hurt, no, he was falling apart. He felt abandoned, like his home was being stolen away from him.
And when Pope hurried into the Chateau, where he and John B were smoking a blunt, saying that you had come back, JJ froze, disbelief written all over his face as the words sank in: “She’s back”.
He felt like the world had stopped spinning for a moment. You were back? After all this time?
“Who’s back?” he pretended to be oblivious. He knew damn well who he was talking about. How couldn’t he, after all?
Even if he forced himself to think you weren’t that important, he couldn’t help but to look for you in every person he met. He looked for your laugh, your eyes, your ability to make all of the horrible things go away. To him, you were everything. Fuck, he almost said that he loved you, that he was in love with you, just a few nights before you moved away. So, as much as he convinced himself that he got over you, facts stated the contrary.
Pope hesitated before answering. “Y/n. She’s back”
An heavy silence settled over the room. John B looked to Pope, then to JJ, then to Pope again.
“How do you know?” he asked.
“I saw her this morning, I was helping my father with deliveries and i passed by her house, saw her dad giving instructions to the movers, there were boxes all over the pathway” Pope answered, glancing at JJ, to see some reaction.
But JJ said nothing. He couldn't believe it. It had been a year since you had left without saying goodbye, and he was left feeling hurt and abandoned. He tried to be happy about the news, but he couldn’t. All he could think about was how could you have left, out of nowhere? He was angry at you.
As Pope left the house again, to finish helping his old man, John b walked over and sits beside him, trying to gauge his reaction "Dude, are you okay?"
“Of course. Why shouldn’t I?” He said. The question sounded more sarcastic than he wanted it to be.
“You have every right to be upset” John B tried to reassure the blonde, who was staring at the ground with the joint between his lips. “She hurt you, leaving like that”
JJ finally lifted his head. “Hurt? I’m not hurt. I’m actually perfectly fine. I don’t really care anymore. If she actually cared about me, she would’ve contacted me. But guess what? She didn’t”.
John B nodded, understanding how his best friend was feeling. But he knew better; he knew it was deeper than that. “Maybe there’s a reason though. C’mon, you know her. She ain’t the typa person to do something just to have the pleasure to hurt you”
“Ain’t she? I’m starting to doubt it.” JJ said, letting out a humorless chuckle. “But either way, I do not care. I got over it. It was just a summer fling”
John B raised an eyebrow, clearly not believing one single word, but he didn’t say anything in order not to interfere more.
“I know what’re you thinking” the blonde looked at his friend.
“What am I thinking?”
“That I’m not being honest. That I’m not really over her and that finished this conversation, i’ll go to my room to cry over her. That’s not gonna happen, because I’m totally okay and not upset, with her being back. She means nothing”
John B chuckles, patting JJ’s shoulder. “I was actually thinking that we should go surf today. You know, waves are perfect and the wind died down…”
JJ rolled his eyes, having caught onto his game.
“Listen, you want my advice?” the blonde mouthed a « no », but obviously John B wasn’t gonna have it. “You gotta talk to her, dude”
“Yeah, sure. What am I even going to say?”
“Listen to her. I know you cared about her, you still do. And don’t even try to say otherwise. Just, listen to her reasons. To forgive her, that’s for you to decide-”
John B was interrupted by a knock on the door. Both guys looked at each other, not having seen it coming. JJ straightened up, a mix of anticipation and unease washing over him. He tried to hide his nerves, fixing his hair and clearing his throat. He glanced at John b, then back at the door. "Who is it?" The brunette called out, after approaching the door, trying to keep his tone casually cool.
“It’s… it’s Y/n” a soft voice answered. They knew that voice so well. You were nervous, they could tell it from the tentative tone.
JJ felt his whole world stop for a moment as he heard your voice from the other room. His heart skipped a beat and his mind went blank. He felt a mix of emotions coursing through him: surprise, confusion, and surprisingly, a flicker of joy. But his guarded exterior remained in place, his facial expression a mask of caution and suspicion. "Come in," John b answered, receiving a glare from JJ.
You entered the room, feeling the tension that floated in the air. You gave a quick hug to John B. “Hi John B… I’m sorry to bother you..” you say sweetly. “I… huh, I just kinda assumed he… he was here.”
John B looked at you and smiled, nodding. “He is, in fact. But-” The noise of an opening door interrupted him again.
JJ walked into the room. He couldn’t believe you were here, in front of him. He studied your face, taking in your features that he hadn’t nearly forgotten over the past year. You hadn’t change one bit: your hair still caressed gently your face, your eyes were as bright as before, your lips… god, your lips. How much he missed them. Just God knows how much he dreamed of them, when he first discovered that you left. Then he started dreaming of every part of you.
He remained seated, trying to maintain an air of nonchalance as he turned his gaze towards you.
You look over John’s shoulder, finally being able to look at JJ. You felt like a whirlwind of emotions had just hit you all at once. A rush of joy flooded your chest, but it was quickly overshadowed by the lingering guilt that weighed on your heart.
Seeing him again after a year felt both surreal and bittersweet. His familiar face brought warmth, but your mind couldn’t help but remind you of the hurt you caused by leaving, no matter how justified your reasons had seemed at the time. There was a part of you that wanted to run to him, to close the gap, but another part that feared he might still be carrying the pain you left behind.
“JJ” you let out in a whisper, barely audible if the room wouldn’t have been completely quiet. Not even the sound of a fly.
JJ felt his breath catch in his chest as he heard you say his name. It had been so long since he'd heard you say it, and now hearing it again had stirred up a thousand emotions within him. He swallowed, trying to maintain his composure.
"Yeah, that's me," he responds with a hint of sarcasm, his defenses still up. "You remembered my existence, huh?"
John b couldn't help but observe the scene unfold. He could sense the tension in the air and the mix of emotions between the two of you. He was unsure of how this encounter would play out. He leaned back, watching keenly, ready to intervene if necessary, but eventually he decided to leave and let you have your own moment.
“It’s nice to… it’s strange..” You try to say, but what you want to tell him is something else. “I missed you, jay”
He felt confused by your revelation and yet, despite it all, hearing that you had missed him made him smile a bit. He cleared his throat, trying to hide his vulnerability. "Oh yeah?" he said, his voice a mix of sarcasm and a hint of sincerity.
“I did. A lot” you say, looking into his eyes. You can see the change in them. They had lost their spark, that ocean blue that you fell in love with no longer existed. They were off, broken.
“Then why did you disappear?” He said, finally breaking that barrier that he had built, to ask the question he had wondered for the whole year.
“It’s fucked up… my parents… they didn’t want me to stay with a pogue, and they took me out of the island, not leaving me the chance to explain. They even bought me a new phone, so that i couldn’t call you, text you” You admit, in one breath. Your eyes lingered from his eyes to his mouth, waiting for him to say something. Anything.
"Why didn't you fight to stay?" The question was more than just about your situation; it was about trust, about commitment. He felt betrayed, abandoned, but first of all, sad. So sad he actually thought he was feeling physical pain. The pain in his eyes spoke louder than his words.
“I tried jay, I tried so hard, so much, but they threatened me. They threatened to take me away forever if I didn’t say yes. That’s why I did it. If I agreed to that request, they would’ve taken me away for just one year, while if I fought more, they would’ve made me stay forever there. All I could think about, Jay, was you. Just, always, constantly you”
JJ's resolve was crumbling. He wanted to stay mad, to put the blame on you, but looking at you, he couldn't help but feel a mix of sadness and relief. His eyes softened as he searched yours, his emotions a whirlwind. He wanted to reach out and put his arms around you, to hold you close and never let go. Instead, he simply said, "I couldn't even say goodbye."
You gave him a sad look, not having any other excuses for how he felt. You knew it wasn’t your fault, but still, you feel like you hadn’t done enough. So you stayed silent.
“Do they know you’re here?” He asked, referring to your parents.
“Are you crazy? Obviously not. But I had to see you. I would’ve gone insane otherwise. Even if you won’t forgive me, which I don’t expect you to, I needed to see your face again, to hear your voice”
JJ doesn’t know how to react. The pain and joy were fighting inside him, the mixture causing his emotions to be a tangled mess.
“I missed you too” he admits. He couldn’t hold back anymore.
You smiled at him, taking a step closer to him, but he stepped back, making your smile going away.
“S-sorry. I didn’t mean to” you say, biting your lips due your anxiety.
He shook his head, “It’s ok” he assured, this time he took a step forward.
“Is there.. is there someone else?” you spilled out the question you wanted to ask since you entered the room.
He shook his head once again, his voice steady. "There's no one else," he answered, his eyes locking with yours. He couldn't imagine being with anyone else. You had been the one who occupied his mind, his heart. The thought of someone else was unthinkable.
He felt an magnetic attraction pulling him closer, his heart thumping louder. "There could never be anyone else," he added, his voice filled with a mix of vulnerability.
You smiled warmly at him, finally feeling like everything was slowly getting back to the way it was before all of this happened. He returned your smile, tentatively taking your hand, crossing your fingers, as if he was scared to let you go. “I don’t want to lose you again”
I let out a sigh, tightening the grip on his hand. “You won’t, jay. Never again. I’ll hide, I’ll run away with you if necessary.”
JJ felt a mix of relief, happiness, and a hint of residual insecurity. He wanted to believe you, to trust your promise, not even a small part of him feared that “history might repeat itself”. He trusted you completely. "Okay," he said softly, his voice filled with happiness.
“Okay” I repeat. “Now, you’re finally gonna kiss me?”
JJ felt his heart skip a beat at your words. The tension between you was electric, and his mind was consumed by the thought of kissing you. He stepped closer to you, his hand still holding yours. "Thought you'd never ask," he whispered, not wanting to hold back anymore. Without hesitation, he leaned in, his lips gently brushing against yours.
Your hands found their way through his messy, blonde locks, caressing them and holding him close to you, while his started wandering over your body, gripping your waist and hips just to end up on your bottom, squeezing your cheeks as the kiss deepened.
His hands continued roaming your body with an almost possessive need, wanting to feel all of you, to take in every part of you. He pulled you even closer, his tongue exploring your mouth greedily, as if trying to taste every part of you. The sounds of your breaths mingling filled the air, creating a symphony of desire. In that moment, nothing else mattered except being as close to you as he could be.
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yaps. it’s my first time writing on here, im kinda nervous.. soo do we want a part 2? wc. 2,2k
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