#okay i know i said this would take me less time… but i procrastinated on this for the longest time out of pure habit i apologize >-<< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[e-m-ma-lmfao]

"We're gonna get out of here, I promise"

pairing : mike munroe x (fem) reader

cw : mike has a gun, talk of death, and blood, and maybe like one swear I don't know. reader is referred to as mike’s girlfriend, but other than that i don’t believe any female pronouns are used.

a/n : i know this is kind of late since the until dawn remake has been out for a while but i kept procrastinating this after I started it. anyways #needthat.

The wind pulls at you from every angle, hair clinging to your sweaty, frostbitten cheeks. Adrenaline kept your body moving through the never-ending maze of trees and snow; you didn’t think it would last much longer. You were sure if you continued in this direction, eventually, you would reach the sanatorium. 

It was marked on the map in the cable car station, the same map you had seen before you made your way up to the lodge with Sam and Chris. That was hours ago, and you wish you could go back and warn yourself to go back down the mountain. Or even better, ignore Josh’s email altogether and stay home. Play sick. You’d say anything not to be where you are, right now. 

But that’s not possible, is it? 

Your clothes are sticky with blood. Not your own, you think. You hope. This night was not turning out the way you had expected it to. And the choices you had made leading up to this point were beginning to make your stomach turn the longer you thought about them. 

Why did you leave the lodge? You could’ve stayed on the kitchen floor after that psycho knocked you out; you could’ve pretended not to hear Chris’s attempts to wake you up. You could’ve looked for a phone instead of rushing into the snow to find Ashley. Speaking of them, why had you left Chris and Ashley? You could’ve returned to the lodge with them to find Sam after witnessing your friend be sawed in half, but no. You needed to know that Mike was okay considering you hadn’t seen him since you both arrived. 

Why did you start that argument with Mike before the two of you had left for the lodge? 

“C’mon, don’t be like that.”

“Like what?”

“You're getting jealous over nothing. We’ve talked about this, there is nothing between me and Em. I’m with you. I’m in love with you. Why does this keep being brought up?”

“Maybe because she texts your phone like you're still close? ‘Text when you and the new gf get here, can’t wait to see you, winky face’,” you push his phone towards him. “She knows who I am, why does she feel the need to refer to me as the ‘new girlfriend’ as if we’ve never met? And why is she sending you winky faces? Why exactly is Em so excited to see you, Mike?” You make a point of emphasizing her nickname which seems to flow off his tongue so easily. 

“You’re looking into this way too much. This is crazy, I mean come on, that’s how she texts everyone, baby.” He gently takes his phone from you, throwing it onto the bed and reaching back for your hand which hovers in the air. You let him, but you make no effort to hold his hand back, fingers only resting in his hold. A soft sigh leaves your lips. 

“Yeah well, I’m not loving that she texts you that way and I’m also not loving the fact that you’ve said nothing to her about how weird it is. You have no problem defending her when you talk to me, so why can’t you say something to her about how I feel?”

“If I said something it would just cause a fight between me and her, or you and her, and the last thing that anyone needs up there, especially Josh, is for all of us to be fighting. Can you pretend to like her, only for the weekend, and then you never have to again.”

“You say that every time she’s involved, ‘just pretend to like her for tonight, and then you never have to ever again.’ But I will, because for some reason she is always around. I figured when Matt and she started dating we would see her less but I guess I was wrong.”

“Please, let’s just go and get it over with. We’re doing this for Josh, remember?”

“I don’t know, Michael, something about spending an entire weekend with your ex-girlfriend isn’t really appealing to me anymore. Call me crazy.” His eyebrows soften as you use his full name, especially in that tone. He is enjoying this conversation less than you are. 

“Don’t be this way, we’re already packed and ready to go. Just come downstairs and get in the truck. She won’t bother us, baby, I promise. Come on..” He attempts to pull you, gently bringing your hand closer to him. But your fingers slip from his hand, dropping to your side. From the bed, his phone buzzes, the screen lights up, and you don’t have to look to know who’s messaging him. 

“Sam told me she's taking the bus up there, I think,” you look back to him, “I’ll just head up with her so she doesn't have to go alone.”

“But then I have to go alone. And the bus leaves in like an hour, that's barely enough time to get ready and get to the stop. You're being ridiculous, just come with me. And if you want to, we can talk about this on the way up.” 

 You look away from him, missing the way his face falls as you turn your back to him. “I’ll see you up there, Mike.”

If you had just let it go, believed him, and gone with him instead of taking the bus with Sam, you would’ve never been angry with each other at the lodge. Or rather, you wouldn’t have been so furious with him because you would’ve talked things out in the truck, kissed, and made up instead of stewing in your thoughts on the bus. You wouldn’t be worrying about whether or not he was alive right now. But you were stubborn and foolish, and now you are trudging through the snow, improperly dressed, and praying the person you love is still breathing on this stupid mountain. 

You cross your arms over your chest, preserving what little warmth you have left, and with every step you lose another piece of hope. All you can think of is him. And how, if he is dead, he would’ve died thinking that you were mad at him. You weren’t even angry, annoyed for sure but not angry, you were just being stubborn and taking your frustration out on him. Now you might never get to apologize. The thought makes your stomach churn and your steps falter as a wave of nausea overtakes you. 

But, finally, in the distance you see the outline of a large building surrounded by a brick fence that appears to be falling apart. You allow yourself to be comforted, just for a moment, by the sanatorium's existence. The nausea in your stomach ceases as your steps quicken, arms uncrossing to move through the air. You reach the gate, blocked by the large pile of snow blocking both sides, not that you think you could’ve pushed it open in your current state; blocked from snow or not. 

You let your hand trace across the gate's bars as you walk towards the side of the fence. The pads of your fingers sting from the cold metal but you keep them where they are. As you move, they follow, moving from metal to brick. The only way into the sanatorium courtyard, you realize, is to climb over the stone fencing. 

A tired sigh leaves your body. You place your hands on the wall, palms stinging from the snow-covered surface. You lift your body, throwing your leg over simultaneously, climbing on top to straddle the snowy stone. The action uses more energy than you realistically have left so instead of gracefully landing on the other side of the wall you fall, directly onto your back. At least the pile of snow beneath you cushions your fall a tiny bit, but it still takes you a few minutes to recover your breath. 

Using the wall, you find your footing again. The snow falls from your clothes as you stumble towards the sanatorium. You don’t even know what you were expecting to discover here. You figured there might be people here. Maybe a construction crew, getting ready to tear the old building down. A custodian, forced to stay and take care of an abandoned building. Or on the slimmer side of chance, a large group of stable nurses and doctors that would offer you and your friends shelter and much-needed medical attention. However, the closer you get, the more you realize how fucked you are. Nobody is out here. And it was stupid to believe there would be. 

But you’ve come this far, and the chill that runs through your body borders on hypothermic potential. You reach the front doors, using your body to push the door open, shoulder first. It opens far easier than expected, and you fall to your hands and knees as it flies inwards. “Fuck.. me.” 

You don’t move from the floor, the opposite actually, you get closer to it, falling onto your back. You don’t even want to get up. No one is here. All your friends are probably dead back down by the lodge. What’s the point? At least this way you’ll have time to think over every choice that led you here, it’ll take a while for the cold to kill you since your feet are the only part of you still lying outside the building. From farther within the entry hall you hear a door open, the sound of steps echoing through the empty building. And though your heart rate picks up speed, you don’t move. Instead, you pray that whatever it is, will kill you quickly so you can be with your friends again. So you can be with Mike. 

“Who’s there? Whoever it is, just know I am armed and I am not afraid to shoot you. I have had one hell of a night and I am so not in the mood for.. whatever it is that you want.” Even with your heartbeat drumming against your ear canals, you still pick up the voice. A man's voice. Almost recognizable. You let your eyes close, murmuring the only thing you can think of like a mantra. Mike. Mike. Mike. Mike. 

“Holy shit. Y/n?” Mike? You turn your neck enough to see the man approaching. A sudden second surge of energy fills you, and you lift yourself into a sitting position to fully face the figure walking towards you. 

“M..mike?” 

“Holy- Oh my god, how are you- Are you okay?” He falls to his knees in front of you, dropping the gun and the lantern in his hands on the floor. His hands hover around you, scared to touch you. You notice that two of the fingers on his left hand are missing, replaced by a bandage soaked in blood.  Your hands are the first to make contact, landing on both sides of his dirty face.

“Are you real?” He nods, pulling you into a too-tight embrace. A stark contrast to his previous concern and reluctance to touch you. 

“Yes. Yes, I’m real. I’m so glad to see you. You’re alive.. holy shit I can’t believe you’re alive.”

“You look terrible” You wipe away some dirt from his face. Eyes wide as you try to convince yourself that he is actually in front of you. You had convinced yourself that he was dead, and now to see him in front of you alive and well - okay maybe not well but he’s not dead - it has your brain moving a mile a minute. There is so much you have to say. So much you have to explain to him. How do you explain to someone that his friend was sawed in half on the anniversary of his sister's death? Or how do you explain that the rest of his friends might ALSO be dead? And without sounding insane, how do you explain that you truly believe something is up on the mountain with you and that it might’ve followed you the entire way to the sanatorium? You can’t.  

“Well, I’m happy to see you too, baby.” He laughs breathily, unsteady. A laugh of disbelief. His way of coping has always been humor, even at the most inappropriate of times. Your features are probably the exact opposite of his uncertain smile. You pull him close again, practically pushing him to the ground, but his arms wrap around you and he straightens his back to keep the two of you upright. “Woah, I’m not going anywhere. I’m right here.”

You push your face into his shoulder, saturating the filthy, green jacket that he wears with tears. It stinks like cigar smoke, years of sweat buildup, and dirt. 

“Mike- Oh Mike,” your voice is muffled in his skin, pausing in between sobs to catch your breath. His arm wraps tighter around your waist, the other arm reaching up so his hand can rest in your tangled hair. “I’m so- I am so so sorry Micheal. I thought you were dead, I thought- I thought you died thinking I was angry. I’m so sorry, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. It’s okay. Don’t apologize. I’m just- I’m so glad you’re alive.” He kisses your temple, and as you raise your red face to look him in the eyes, he moves your hair out of your face. “We’re gonna get out of here, okay? Can you walk? God, you must be freezing. Did you come all the way from the lodge like this? Fuck, y/n, how are you even alive.” You shake your head, a silent confirmation that you don’t know how you’re alive either. 

He helps you to your feet, taking off the unfamiliar jacket and helping you into it. He then retrieves the lantern and the gun from the floor, “Here, can you hold this up?” You nod, and take the lantern from his hand. In the hand opposite of you, he holds the gun, and with the other, he intertwines his fingers with yours. “We're gonna get out of here. I am going to get you out of here, I promise.” He’s so certain, and your fear almost dissipates completely as he leads you farther into the sanatorium with a tight grip on your hand.

[television-overload]

of our own making

(an X-Files fanfic)

Chapter 13/34 - cinnamon rolls

[Read on AO3]

It’s a little awkward at first, but he gets the sense that she just doesn’t want to be alone after what happened with Pfaster, and he can’t fault her for that. The crime scene cleaners left the place spotless, even had some furniture replaced using some of the insurance money, and he’s thankful that that’s one less thing they need to worry about.

Eventually they fall into a rhythm—commuting to work together, dividing household chores, adding his name to the lease... By the last week of January, he’s almost completely moved in, and things have been good. Really good. It surprises him how little he misses his own apartment and the life he built there. It was never a home.

Scully’s apartment… Well, he can see it becoming one.

He wakes on a Saturday to the sound of knocking on the door, bolting upright, suddenly wide awake. He glances at the time on the clock in the kitchen. Just after 8 a.m.

After the last unwelcome visitor to this address, he's understandably on edge. He briefly wonders if he should have his weapon handy, when the knock sounds again, this time followed by the gentle call of “Dana?”

Maggie. Uh oh.

He rubs his face frantically, smoothing his hair and trying to make himself look like he wasn't asleep just a minute ago. Sure, it might seem like a logical thing to do, to inform his partner’s mother that he now lives with her. But that would mean admitting to a fair few other things that she’s decidedly not ready to tell her, so for now, his mother-in-law remains in the dark.

He hurriedly folds the blanket he was using and throws it and the pillow into the spare bedroom.

He opens the door to Scully's room, hoping she's decent, and whispers loudly, "Scully! Scully, your mom's at the door!"

He gets a muffled, "Huh?" in response before her brain catches up to what he'd said, and she sits up.

It's too early to explain. If they tell her he's moving in, they'll have to tell her about their marriage and the appointment they went to at the adoption agency. They aren't ready for that.

"Should I hide in the other room?" he asks as she stands and puts on her robe.

"Like you're some high school boyfriend I snuck in, Mulder?" she says incredulously as she passes him. "Just go sit on the couch."

He does as she asks, turning on the TV at a low volume and attempting to sit as casually as possible on the couch.

She casts an amused glance at him before opening the door.

"Hi, Mom."

"Dana, did I wake you?"

"Uh, no, I was just getting ready," she lies.

"I would have come later, but I brought breakfast," Maggie says, gesturing with a dish covered in tin foil. "I wanted to see how you're doing. May I come in?"

Scully glances over her shoulder for a second before nodding and stepping aside to allow her mother to enter.

"I brought cinnamon rolls and fruit salad and—” her eyes settle on the unexpected occupant on the couch. “Oh! Hello, Fox!"

He can tell he's caught her off guard.

"Hi Mrs. Scully." He smiles, trying not to cringe at the awkwardness suddenly filling the room.

Mrs. Scully turns to her daughter. "I'm so sorry, I didn't know you had company!"

"Mulder came over to help me go through some stuff to donate," Scully lies again, nodding toward the pile of boxes they have yet to unpack from Mulder's apartment. Good thing he doesn't have his personal items scattered all around yet. Score one for procrastination.

"Oh, do you need any help?" Maggie asks, setting her tray down and taking a step in their direction.

"NO!" Scully says a little too loudly, holding out a hand. "No, that's okay. There's not that much left to do."

"Alright..." Maggie says unsurely, returning to her task of readying their breakfast. "Fox, there's plenty of food,” she adds, glancing up at him kindly. “You're welcome to join us."

He's not sure if it would be better or worse to decline politely, but his growling stomach makes the choice for him.

"Sounds great," he says, standing to join them in the kitchen.

Mrs. Scully's eyes travel down to the plaid pajama pants he wears, then back up with an unreadable smile.

"Laundry day," he says as an excuse, as if he would ever leave the house like this for no reason at all.

She nods, then shakes her head in amusement and unwraps the foil from the pan.

"I'm going to warm these in the oven. Fox, would you mind brewing some coffee?"

"Mom, I can—" Scully tries, but Mulder is quicker.

"I got it, Scully." 

While Maggie is turned away, he collects the coffee mugs that are distinctly his from the cabinet and hides them on the top shelf where they won't be visible. Instead, he extracts three matching ones, all cream colored and coordinated as only Scully could be.

Breakfast passes about as awkwardly as the entire morning has, so far. Mulder manages to stuff a pile of adoption documents into a drawer just before Maggie sees them, and Scully thankfully prevents her from insisting on helping to put food away in the fridge, which is a lot more full now that more than one person lives here. Maggie asks Scully how she's doing, if she has any travel plans, and he decides he'll die on the spot if Scully tells her about their upcoming trip to Los Angeles for a movie premiere that ought to take a few years off his life. Thankfully, she remains tight-lipped about that one. He suspects her hopes for the film are about as high as his, which is to say, not high at all.

Eventually, he starts nervously glancing at the clock, watching the time tick closer and closer to when he's supposed to be at his apartment to arrange the transport of his larger furniture with the movers. If Mrs. Scully doesn't leave soon, he'll have to make up some excuse and leave himself, and Scully won't be able to come as she had planned.

"Mom, I hate to push you out the door, but Mulder and I have some stuff to take care of today," Scully comments, and Mulder suppresses a sigh of relief.

Maggie's eyes widen. The last thing she wants is to be a burden. "Of course!” she says. “I'll let you two get to it. Thanks for letting me drop in."

Scully gives a placid smile. "Thank you for breakfast."

She brushes off her thanks, busying herself with gathering up the dishes she’d brought over, then starting toward the door. "Bye, Fox," she directs toward him on her way out, offering a small wave goodbye.

He reciprocates with a nod and a forced smile. "Bye, Mrs. Scully."

His partner walks her mother to the door, whispering softly as they go. He can still hear them talking in low voices while he gets started on washing the dishes, the elder Scully’s words meant for her daughter’s ears only. He slows his movements, listening in over the sound of sloshing water as best as he can, curiosity getting the best of him.

"I'm your mother, Dana, I can tell when you're lying," Maggie says, her tone admonishing.

He can't hear what, if anything, Dana says in response. If she does speak, it's so quiet that it's beyond the capabilities of his hearing, despite his best efforts.

"If I were in your shoes, I'd feel safer if Fox were sleeping on my couch too, honey, you don't need to be embarrassed,” her mother continues. “It's okay to need someone, especially after what you've been through."

Scully sighs. "That's not…” she starts, then gives up and finishes with, “Okay, yeah, thanks Mom."

"You call me if you need anything," Maggie tells her.

Scully smiles. "I will. I love you."

"Love you too, sweetie.” She wraps her daughter in a hug, pressing a kiss to her cheek before pulling away. “Next time I'll call before I stop by, hmm?"

He can tell Scully is blushing just by the sound of her voice.

"I– I think that would be a good idea."

"Have a good day, Dana." Then, louder, "You too, Fox."

He gives one last awkward wave goodbye from the sink, and she leaves.

Scully puts her face in her hands as soon as she's gone, and groans.

"The secret lives to see another day," Mulder announces triumphantly, setting the dish drying towel aside with a wry smile. Scully shoots him a look, and he relents. "If this gets too hard, you can tell her, you know."

"No, it's fine,” she says, waving him off. “She just can't drop by and visit like that anymore. It's not going to work."

He presses his lips together, wondering if maybe they had rushed into things a little. He hopes she doesn’t regret it.

"I'm sorry, Scully,” he apologizes. “Maybe we should have waited."

She shakes her head, which comes as an instant relief to him. "Either way, this would have happened eventually,” she says. “But if this adoption doesn't work out..."

"It will," he says without hesitating.

"What if it doesn't?"

Not an option, he thinks.

"Then I can just get another apartment," he answers with a shrug.

She stares at him incredulously. "After going through all this trouble to get rid of the one you have now?” she asks. “Maybe it's not too late to hold onto it, you can tell them you've changed your mind."

He looks at her. "Is that what you want me to do?" he asks.

Her shoulders deflate. "I just don't want this to be harder than it needs to be if your plans fall through," she admits, concern pinching her eyebrows together.

This is one of those moments, he knows, where they need to be really clear with communication. It doesn’t come easily to either of them, but it matters. He hopes his next question will bring some clarity to the discussion, as much as her potential answer terrifies him.

"So if we don't end up adopting, you'd rather I go?"

Once the words are out, he watches closely for her response, trying to guess what she’s thinking by the look on her face.

Her confusion does nothing to alleviate his unease.

"Why would you stay?" she asks.

That’s easy, he thinks.

"Better company than at my place," he answers with a shrug.

He can see her thinking over his response, assessing him to see if he’s joking or not. It seems she—rightfully—comes to the correct conclusion. He’s dead serious.

"I– I'd want you to stay,” she says finally, her words providing him with the reassurance he needed. “The number of times we've both had our places broken into, I'd feel a lot better if..."

"I couldn't agree more,” he interrupts, smiling wide.

"And we spend almost every day together anyway,” she continues. “And when we travel, one of us always has to drive across town to pick the other up…"

"Logistically, we should have done this years ago," he finishes for her, and oh , how true that is. There’s a lot of things he should have done years ago.

She laughs. "I haven't had a roommate since med school."

"You smell a lot better than the one I had at Oxford," he jokes.

Her answering eye roll is worth every second he had to share a room with Reginald Butts, an aptly named law student. 

"Thanks for that, Mulder. I'm sure that's high praise."

~~~

Lovely tag list ♡: [if you would like to be added or removed, let me know!]

@today-in-fic @ao3feed-msr @agent-troi @angegova @baronessblixen @calimanc @captainsolocide @clo-thespin @cutemothman @danasculls @deathsbestgirl @edierone @enigmaticxbee @figureofdismay @frogsmulder @gillian-anderson-in-the-tardis @hippocampouts @invidiosa @monaiargancoconutsoy @numinousmysteries @primrose19 @randomfoggytiger @skelavender @skylarksong @stephy-gold @teenie-xf @the-redhead-in-a-dress @vincentsleftear

[miasiegert]

Hi Cats Tumblr People,

So I heard you like pics.

Please bear with me (AND TEACH ME) how Tumblr works/if I'm doing it wrong! I'm literally the "How do you do, fellow young people?" meme. Our Etsy is linked (unless I messed that up!) Right now it's bare (LOT of work and VERY old photos in the banner) but we'll be posting some cossies soon that are ready to retire. Some of our prices sadly will have to rise (we undercharge honestly for the amount of time put into them... we just LOVE making them). Anyway...

These are our original designs. We have taken inspiration from different productions, from the US tour to Gothenburg to Australia to Japan, less UK because it gets the most attention and we like COLOR! but this is all us. Our goal is to a) have characters be recognizable and b) make swing unitards in palates that could pass as at least 3 characters for emergency. When our rentals go out, swing unitards go with them, and ultimately it's the director who decides what makes the final cut (so a less yellow Demeter for example--but we LOVE that one).

If we ever do a production of Cats with Chaz, you'll notice one in Red, White, and some Black (but mostly Red and White, with fan ears, that is a design David created and is Chaz's FAVORITE design of all time. Any time he does a show, if we're hired, that costume goes. Usually Electra, but any ensemble/swing kitty and can cover for Sillabub or in a pinch Bombalurina. Yuka wore it at Interlakes before she did Victoria on the last US Tour! You might notice an Admetus in tans and GREEN undertones--that was my design he loved. We also did the purple twins (which was vetoed and I said, "Okay" then did it anyway because I knew he'd love it, which he did!), and REBA Gumbie Tap Suit was completely mine (everyone thought I was out of my MIND when I started making it! Even David! Then the shoulder pads came, and the belt, and tail, and BEDAZZLING!!! SO MANY RHINESTONES!!!!) Our Misto coat lights up but we still have a lot to learn about arduino since we'd eventually like to make it blink to music. The Misto coat is also created to fit a multitude of sizes, basically the theatre using their department for alterations since we make use of stretch fabric. I've known Bronson for almost as long as Chaz (he even designed my author website!!!) so when I saw him cast, I showed him his costume (a much, much browner/redder Gus than most see--I was serious about liking color) and let him choose between two coats. He said he wanted pants and we went, "NO! PANTLESS PRODUCTION!" because we thought he was joking! We didn't realize... HE REALLY WANTED PANTS!!!! SORRY BRONSON! So shout out to Wichita for making him pants! LOL!

There is a HUGE joke about Tumble thirsting for Tugger more than the girls so you'll notice that with the Tugger ABOUUUOUOUOUOUOUOUUUUUUUUUT THAT.

Hope that's of interest! And no, I'm not procrastinating on edits when my agent deadline is Sunday. Haha... ha... ha... ha... ha... Sera, if you're reading this I PROMISE I'M WORKING OKAY??? I DIDN'T KNOW WE GOT ON BROADWAYWORLD!!!

We also saw some comments about casting in general and some confusion/questions about different dancers doing different parts (Alonzo vs Plato). Would anyone be interested in learning more about the casting process in general and things that directors/choreographers need to take into consideration? Please note, I will not discuss ANY performers we work with. Ever. All are extraordinary and these are tough calls that aren't easy to make and based on other factors, including the ensemble at large, and sometimes huge changes are made.

[urlocalmultigroupfan]

without you (pt. 8)

pairing: lee felix x female reader

summary: you have been best friends with the 00 liners+chan for a while now. now everyone is in college and when you begin to develop feelings, its getting hard to choose...

tags/warnings: college skz, liking multiple people at a time, fluff, angst, reader struggles with anxiety and depression, cussing, partially proofread

a/n: guys why am i listening to a christmas song 😭

The sun had already set by the time you finished your last class of the day. Your brain felt fried from hours of lectures, and your to-do list was growing longer by the minute. You needed a break, but more than that, you needed to get a handle on your assignments. The thought of studying alone didn’t seem very appealing, but when you saw a message pop up from Seungmin, you felt a little spark of relief.

“Hey, we’re doing a study session in my dorm tonight. You in? It’s just going to be me, but I could use the company.”

You smiled at the message. Seungmin had been your best friend since 8th grade—through middle school awkwardness, high school drama, and now, navigating the mess of university life. If anyone could make a study session feel less painful, it was him.

“I’ll be there. I need a break anyway.”

You quickly grabbed your things and made your way to his dorm.

When you knocked on Seungmin’s door a short while later, it swung open almost immediately. Standing in the doorway, he greeted you with that easygoing grin of his—one that never failed to make you feel like everything was going to be okay.

“Hey! You actually came,” he teased, stepping aside to let you in. “I thought you were going to bail last minute.”

“Like I would leave you hanging,” you replied, walking into the familiar space that had always felt like a second home. You couldn’t help but grin as you looked around. Seungmin’s dorm room was exactly as you’d expected: a little messy, papers scattered across the desk, books piled high, and the faint smell of instant ramen in the air. It was homey in its own way.

“You know I’d be lost without you, right?” Seungmin said, tossing himself down onto the couch dramatically. “I might’ve started eating instant noodles for dinner again if you hadn’t showed up.”

You raised an eyebrow at him. “You mean to tell me that’s not a ‘well-balanced meal’?”

“Hey, it’s got everything: noodles, broth, salt, and um… the will to survive,” he joked, nudging a cup of what looked like barely-drinkable instant coffee on the table toward you. “I know it’s not much, but I swear it’s the best thing I can offer right now.”

You chuckled and sat down next to him, grabbing the cup and taking a sip. You could already tell the night was going to be a mix of studying, procrastination, and, of course, plenty of banter. It was exactly what you needed.

“So, what’s the plan?” you asked, setting your bag on the floor beside the couch.

“Well, I was thinking we could start with history,” Seungmin said, his expression turning a little more serious as he picked up his laptop and opened a textbook. “But we’ll probably get distracted by random topics in between. You know how this goes.”

You laughed, leaning back on the couch. “I know exactly how it goes. That’s why I’m here. You make studying actually tolerable.”

Seungmin shot you a sideways glance, his lips curling into a smile. “Flattery will get you everywhere, Y/N. But honestly, I’m glad you’re here. It’s been a while since we had one of our study sessions.”

You smiled, feeling a warmth in your chest at his words. You hadn’t spent nearly as much time with Seungmin recently, between your packed schedules and the overwhelming workload of university. But whenever you were together, it felt like no time had passed at all.

“Yeah, I’ve missed this,” you said quietly. “It feels like everything’s been moving so fast. I needed a break from the chaos.”

Seungmin nodded, a bit more serious now as he looked over at you. “I get it. Things have been crazy. But hey, we’ll get through it. We’ve been doing this since middle school, right? We’ve survived worse.”

You smiled at that. It was true. From awkward middle school projects to high school finals and late-night cramming sessions, Seungmin had always been there. He was the friend who always knew how to make you laugh, no matter how stressed you were. The thought of getting through university without him seemed impossible.

As you both started opening up textbooks and sorting through notes, the comfortable rhythm of working together filled the space between you. It didn’t take long before the chatter started. Seungmin would ask a question about a chapter, you’d give him a response, and the conversation would spiral into something else entirely—life, friends, how hard it was to get used to university, and everything in between.

“So, how’s everything going with your classes?” Seungmin asked casually, glancing over at you as he opened his laptop to double-check some of his own notes.

You sighed, rubbing your temples. “Honestly, I’m a little overwhelmed. It’s like… there’s always something to do. I feel like I can never get ahead.”

He gave you a sympathetic look. “I know exactly what you mean. The workload is brutal. But hey, you’re doing great. Don’t stress too much about it. We’ve still got plenty of time to figure this out.”

You smiled gratefully, appreciating his words. “Thanks, Seungmin. I swear, you’re the only one who can talk me down when I start freaking out.”

“That’s what best friends are for, right?” he replied with a playful wink. "Plus, if you really need help, I’m pretty good at math. I could tutor you, but only if you promise not to make fun of my bad handwriting.”

You laughed. “I’d never. Besides, your handwriting is probably still better than mine.”

The rest of the evening passed in a comfortable haze of study breaks, snacks, and occasional bursts of laughter as you worked through the endless pages of notes. There was something about being with Seungmin that made everything feel more manageable. Even if the stress was still there, you knew you could handle it as long as you had friends like him by your side.

By the time you packed up to leave, you were grateful for the night. The mountain of work was still there, but for a little while, you’d managed to put it all aside and enjoy the simple pleasure of being in good company.

“Thanks for tonight, Seungmin,” you said, standing up and grabbing your bag. “I really needed this.”

“Anytime,” Seungmin replied with a grin. “We’ve got this, Y/N. We’ll make it through university, one instant noodle at a time.”

You chuckled, feeling that familiar warmth you always felt when you were with him. “Yeah, we will. See you tomorrow?”

“Of course. You know where to find me.” Seungmin waved as you made your way to the door, then called out with a smirk, “And don’t forget to text me if you need help with anything else. I’m your personal tutor now.”

You laughed as you stepped out, the door clicking shut behind you. The night air felt fresh, and for the first time all day, you felt like things were going to be okay.

please do not reblog without permission!

[joohanisms]

idk if you wrote about this before or not but thoughts on taking junhans virginity 😭😭😭

i haven't!!!!!!! tysm for the ask so i have an excuse to <33

(half written before i went ia)

mmm first of all i think hed actively look for someone inexperienced to date while hw himself was inexperienced

less space for disappointment yknow how could hw disappoint you when you kinda just .. dont know better literally

but then he ended up w you <3 who actually does have some experience and its kinda nervewracking for him, he's not gonna lie

he's been putting it off for so long – sure, it only took a couple of dates for you to make out and your hands to wander. the way he tentatively gripped your ass made you want him kind of desperately.

but it never went past that. a while later, when the topic of making things official came up, his cheeks blushed a deep red while he looked down at his feet.

"ah, before we, you know, start dating for real... i thought you should know." and fuck, you think. there it goes. there's the catch. "i'm not too... experienced. actually, i've never had sex before. i don't want you to be disappointed if we get to it and i'm not any go–" his mouth is sealed shut as you kiss him firmly, hands cradling his face.

"you're stupid. i don't care. nothing of what you just said would ever make me lose interest," he wants to avoid your eyes, hide his face, but the way you're holding his flaming cheeks in place won't let him. "at most, it just makes me happy i'll be your first."

and since then, he's been avoiding – more like procrastinating, to be fair – getting sexual with you. the most you've done so far was dry humping each other on his sofa while his apartment was empty (that is, until one of his roommates opened the front door and he jumped out of his skin).

you don't want to push him, so you wait for him to come to you.

(but if anyone asked you whether you were fingering yourself in the shower thinking about him, you wouldn't be able to deny it.)

the next time he got to escape from his dorm and visit you and your blessedly empty tiny apartment, he has you on his lap, the movie playing on your laptop long forgotten.

you didn't notice anything before – he was the same hyeongjun as always – but now you can see how his hands are shaking and how he keeps taking deep breaths seemingly out of nowhere.

you detach your lips from his, studying his face. this makes him more nervous, the poor thing. did he do something wrong? is he this easy to read?

"hyeongjun, are you okay? you look like you're going to pass out." you try to leave the comfortable seat that is his thighs, but his hands shoot up and grab your waist, holding you down.

"hyeongjun. you're shaking. have you eaten? let me grab you a cup of wa–"

"i'm fine."

"really? what did you have for lunch? did you have enough? or did you have too much?" you can't help but worry for him. he's already a skinny guy, but you can't be too careful knowing how much time he spends online.

"i swear i'm fine! i'm just..." he trails off, looking at everything in your room but you. one of his hands leaves your waist to fiddle with a loose thread on your comforter. once again, you wait for him to come to you – he likes that about you, how you leave him to find ways to express himself instead of dragging it out of him. his tone is soft when he eventually finishes, "i'm just nervous, that's all."

you cup his cheek in an act of comfort, looking at him like he's some kind of baby bunny, small and defenseless. he finds he doesn't mind it too much.

"nervous about what, baby? what's on your mind?"

"i was thinking," he finally lets go of your waist to play with his fingers, "maybe it's about time we, uh, you know, fuck."

jesus christ. your tummy does a backflip at his wording.

"you know i don't mind if we don't, right? i'm fine with how things are now." you slide your hand down his neck and shoulder, and some braincell vaguely makes him think that you're not doing anything to help him go against having sex.

"but i want to," his response is eager and he backtracks, "if you want it too, i mean."

your mind is so clouded with the thought of not only having him, but also to have you be his first, that you don't even respond before you're pressing your lips to his again.

" of course i do."

[tamamatango]

Friendship Power Scaling (normal thing to do)

Hello space frog fans, how’s everyone? Take another random off-the-cuff analysis post while I procrastinate on the more significant things I’m supposed to be doing (including the Project I plan to reveal when I put up the next part of said project) because I feel like my brain is melting like candle wax these days.

Here’s a topic I’m sure people have thought about but not really put a quantification to: I will be ranking the Keroro Platoon and their partners by their mutual closeness, as in which have the most believable Platonic Soulmates dynamic. (Read: strictly platonic we do not ship any of these in this house.) Why? Idk do I look like I know why I do anything?

So first place is Keroro and Fuyuki. Duh. Literal world-saving levels of bestest best besties forever, would be completely devastated without each other, needs very little explanation really. I guess it is sort of funny that in terms of demeanor they are maybe the least similar out of the duos but they adore each other so much it just doesn’t even matter.

Second I would say is Dororo and Koyuki. Koyuki rescued Dororo both physically and emotionally and completely changed his outlook on everything pretty much, and Dororo is Koyuki’s only real constant in her life from the village. Dororo is pretty overtly more loyal to her and their shared duty to the Earth than he is to the platoon lmao. More pronounced in the manga but still. It’s kinda hard to pinpoint their exact relationship (siblings? Dororo is her dad? Koyuki is his emotional support human?) but their bond is definitely Very Special. Even in the new project trailer Koyuki is holding him, they are so friggin sweet dude.

For third I’m gonna be spicy and say it’s Kururu and Saburo yes I am very biased but hear me out. Despite being the only pair that doesn’t live together it is heavily implied that they are near perfectly in sync but just have a really weird indirect communication system that’s sort of obscured from the audience and even more so the rest of the cast. They act nonchalant about it but they will drop whatever they’re doing immediately if the other needs a solid no questions asked. In the manga they’re even more openly buddy-buddy with all the 親友 and マブダチ talk (anime Kururu is tsun af and pretends he’s too cool for friendship) but they get even less screen time together so rip. I’ve spent more than enough time on these two before but yeah they have extreme best bro energy everyone else just isn’t big-brained enough to Get It.

Fourth is Tamama and Momoka. They’re very much cut from the same cloth and are definitely like siblings, helps that they’re the closest in age out of all the pairs (Tamama might even be a little younger than Momoka depending on what exact Keronian age theory you subscribe to). Momoka pampers Tamama like a pet, they occasionally boost each other via training, and Tamama helps with Momoka’s Love Schemes. But despite the fact that they are kindred spirits in several ways I think they put their pursuits of Keroro and Fuyuki a little above their friendship. And Momoka is not afraid to just kinda kick Tama’s ass, sometimes for good reason sometimes for no reason lol. They still love each other they’re just not as deep in each other’s heads as the higher duos.

And finally the take that would get me tarred and feathered in earlier Keroro fandom days which is putting Giroro and Natsumi last. Okay, so we know Giroro is for better or worse extremely dedicated to Natsumi in an arguably unhealthy way (well, it’s not rly arguable lol, but it’s more innocuous if you headcanon father figure theory and not The Other Thing). But does Giroro have the same level of importance to Natsumi? Eh, I mean she sees him as a close family friend and she obviously really cares about him plus certainly favors hanging out with him well over the other little guys (though she is closer with Keroro than it seems), but I think the affection is very lopsided on one end here. They both have a warrior-like disposition and a soft side but idk how much they relate outside that. And they’re not really each other’s clear BFF in the same way the other duos are since Natsumi has Koyuki and Giroro has Keroro (and Dororo as part of the RGB trio but it’s Keroro who is specifically stated to be his Best Friend in the manga). Their friendship is very cute but they just don’t have the same Unbreakable Bond Sauce that the others have yknow. And sadly they kinda Have to be a little less good at reading each other for the Giroro pining over her jokes to land. Sadly.

Well that’s it, kind of ironic the explanations got longer the lower down the list but that’s more where I felt I had to justify my positions. Like nobody is going to argue me about Keroro and Fuyuki right. At least I hope not because then I think we might have watched a different show? I mean I guess they win a bit less overwhelmingly in Sgt Frog Abridged maybe you watched that. Fuyuki gives Keroro a speech about how fucked up he is in that one that was surprisingly metal

[lyramundana]

Hello! Your request of Bang Chan being jealous/controlling is set to be written in August.

But since we are both a lover of soft smut, can I pls request inexperienced reader with Chan? Just something comforting and sweet.

Thank you :)

I'm incredibly, tremendously sorry for the long waiting. I'm the queen of procrastinating and I had zero ideas of how to proceed with this one, but mostly it was procrastinating. I'm not confident on writing soft smut scenes, but I'll try my best here:

Again, sorry for the waiting, and I hope this turned out decently. It's been on my drafts for a long while, but I never found the headspace to finish it:

When you were first starting to get to know Christopher, it was obvious he was experienced in that field, which made you slightly insecure about your own lack of it and it worried you that he might had find you less desirable.

Surprisingly, not only he was very understanding and sweet about it, but he seemed to want you even more.

He gladly took over everything. If you weren't sure, he guided you through it with his gentle voice and safe hands. Needless to say, your first time with him was mindblowing and better than you could've ever imagined. In fact, you enjoyed it so much that you felt yourself growing addicted to it.

You never thought you could grow so needy and horny for a man, and it made you feel a bit embarrassed sometimes, but he made clear how much he loved it.

You come home after an awful day. Everything seemed to go the opposite way of what you wanted, and added to the sexual frustration you are already carrying, you are beyond stressed. Your boyfriend is there, waiting for you to arrive, and as soon as he notices your mood, he hops you in his arms to comfort you.

-Hey, babygirl. What happened? Do I need to beat up someone? -he caressed your hair, kissing your forehead as he spoke in his gentle, loving voice. You felt yourself melt in his arms and the stress slowly leaving you.

-Just a bad day, that's all. I'm so sick of everything. -you murmur with your face buried in his shirt, and you happened to feel his strong pecks right under it.

Your skin feels hotter and it has nothing to do with the weather.

He rubbed your back, soothingly.

-You know what, baby? How about we take a long, warm bath and you try to relax? And maybe you can tell me about your day -he said as he left a kiss on the top of your head.

You stilted in his arms, lookin up with big doe eyes. A bath sounded great indeed...until you realized he intended to take it with you.

You would die.

And that's how minutes later, you found yourself buried in the warm water that reached your shoulders, with Chris' chest against your back and his arms surrounding your torso. Sometimes, his fingers draw circles on your sides and it drove you mad. How long has it been since your last intimate time together, after all? Weeks? A month?

-Try to relax, baby. I can see the steam coming out of your ears -he spoke against your temple. - You've been tense since I hugged you. Is it something I did?

-No, love. It's not about you. - well, partially yes, but it wasn't the main problem. - Its just..it feels like i'm doomed. No matter how hard I try or how much I improve myself, things go the opposite of how I want them to. I know i'm trying my best, but it doesn't feel enough. -you choked halfway through the words and you sniffed back your tears.

Your boyfriend was in silence for a bit. He pulled you closer to him as he noticed the strain in your voice.

-Oh, baby, it's okay. I understand what it's like, i've been there too. -he laid his head on top of yours, sighing. - It's fucking frustrating, I know, but we have to accept that, sometimes, it doesn't matter how hard we work, some stuff are out of our control and there are things we can't prevent. You're human, love, so you have limits. Don't be so harsh on yourself. -he kissed your neck- for what it's worth, you're more than enough in my eyes. You're perfect.

Your heart was melting as he said that, wanting to cry again but this time out of love. You can't know what you did to deserve for this man to devote himself to you, but you hope it lasts forever.

-I missed being with you like this - you muttered, looking up to him to kiss the corner of his mouth. He smiled and then kissed your lips, sucking your lower lip teasingly. You whined. - Don't do this to me, Christopher, or else..

-Or else what? Tell me, babygirl - he said with an annoyingly sexy grin. His hands descended slowly down to your hips, fingers brushing your inner thighs at times.

You gasped, grabbing his hands to stop them.

-Chris, please..

-What was the last time you had an orgasm, sweet thing? -your grip did nothing to him, as he continued tracing lines inside your thighs, now with his lips brushing your neck.

-I..dont't recall. Last month, I think? I don't know! -you cried as he started to drift closer to your core.

-Oh? You haven't been taking care of yourself, you mean? You know I don't like that, babe -he sounded serious now, pinching your skin to make your squeal.

-I know, it's just...-shit, you couldn't believe you were gonna say it. - I can't...only you can make me feel good. I don't know how do it without you!

His motions stopped suddenly and you whined at the loss. Before you could protest, he turned your whole body until you were facing him, sitting directly in his lap. You felt how hard he was and the words died in your throat.

-Fuck, baby, you can't say that shit to me like it's nothing. - he lunged at your neck and bite the skin harshly, making you moan as he left a mark. -You're so good for me. My good girl, who can't even pleasure herself without my help. You need me, don't you?

You struggled to find your voice with the sudden change of events.

-Y-yes -you gasped when his head brushed your clit. - I don't know-fuck-what to do without you.

His expression softened for a moment, right before acquiring a calculating gaze in his eyes.

-I hate it when you neglect yourself, pretty, but I understand you couldn't help it. I fuck you so good your little hand just can't compare, right? - he closed his eyes as he kept grinding your hips against his. -And you've been busy lately, haven't you? Poor baby must been so stressed. -he took your nipple in his mouth, licking and twirling it in his tongue, making you whimper and grip his shoulders. -You deserve a reward

You gulped. Last time he said you ended up cumming five times in a row, shaking in his sheets and under his mercy.

He raised your hips, lowering you slowly down his raging cock. You sighed at the sensation, throwing your head back. You felt so deliciously full. God, you've missed him so much, missed this. He let out a hiss once he was fully inside you, burying his face in your shoulders and nibbling the skin. When he attempted to roll your hips unto his, you whined and stopped him.

-Shit, Chris, give me a second. You're so big. - you wrapped his neck with your arms and laid your forehead against his, letting him feel your heavy breath.

-My size hasn't changed, baby, but maybe your pussy has forgotten about me. -he chuckled, caressing your cheek. - Guess we'll have to fix that.

You clenched around his lenght with those words and he groaned.

-Please, do. -you begged him, hiding your face in his neck out, flustered. -Fuck the stress away, Daddy. Fuck me until I can't think anymore.

He tensed under you. Holy shit, he was a breath away of wrecking you until you were crying out loud, but had to remind himself this was about you, about making you feel better. He closed his eyes forcefully, taking a deep breath to not fall for his instincts.

-Say less, my love. Let Daddy take care of everything, mm? -his vouce sounded deeper now, tender.

He gripped your hips and began to guide you up and down his lenght. It was a slow, steady pace, but it got you moaning in his chest at the so craved friction. His teeth traced your neck softly, leaving purple marks as he pulled your hair to make more room for his mouth. His hands lowered down to your ass cheeks, squeezing them as he thrusted into you.

You began to bounce unconsciously against him, doing your best to keep up with him. You moaned as his hips shifted and found another angle to hit you deeper, making you tremble in his hold. God, he made you feel so good, your eyes growing glassy.

His movements haltered once he heard you sniff.

-Babygirl? What is it? Want to stop? - you panicked and kept grinding against him.

-No! Don't stop, please - tears flowed your vision. You hugged him tightly, sniffing in his neck. - It's just..you don't know know much I missed this. I haven't stopped aching for you since the last time, but I didn't know how to tell without sounding desesperate and I.. - he silenced with your his lips, swallowing your next words. He bit your lower lip gently and pulled a bit before letting you go.

-My pretty, perfect baby, what did I do to deserve you? -he covered your face in kisses as he fastened his thrusts, making you whimper in surprise and pleasure. - You couldn't ever sound desesperate to me. I'll drop anything to give you what you need, so please, don't refrain yourself like that. -he toyed with your nipples again, making you moan loudly. - I'm here for you, princess. It's my job and biggest joy to give you what you want. -he groaned as you clenched around him again. - Now, let's fuck the stres out of you.

You went on like this for a while, with a quick but gentle pace. Your sounds of pleasure filling the room, for whoever happened to hear them. You needed this more than him, this relief and comfort only he could give you. His words encouraged you to just take what you needed.

The knot started to form in your stomach and you still reacted like the first time, eyes wide open and body tense as you took in the incredible sensation. Like he could feel it, his fingers drifted to your clit and began to rub it expertly, helping you chase your high. He felt his own climax come at him violently as he watched the addicting sight of you cumming with a high-pitched scream for him, because of him.

His other hand pulled your face closer by the neck and smashed your lips together, swallowing your beautiful moans as he kept thrusting his hips up roughly. You clenched again and he had to throw his back at the feeling, a deep moan escaping his lips.

-Fuck fuck FUCK! - he pressed his forehead in the conjucture of your neck. You whimpered as you felt his warm seed filling you, and he grabbed your hips with an iron vice grip, moving you to milk out the last drop of his climax - Take it, babygirl, fucking take it.

You rolled your eyes and let yourself fall entirely unto his hold. With a deep breath, he adjusted his position and laid his head back on the bathub wall. He massaged your back and left you occasional kisses on your face, his softening dick tupped inside you, preventing his cum from leaking out.

You basked in the silence for a few minutes, your breathing eventually going back to normal. Your head felt all mushy and your body completely relaxed. Everything was good, the world set itself right back again.

You stood there until the water grew cold, you growing sleepy with his cuddles and him watching you with a soft smile, pure and raw love sparkling in your eyes.

[never-not-ever]

Night before/Admission Day

Of course we're not starting things out on a good note. It was mild, nothing compared to a month ago and how bad it could be but I didn't go to the ER. Honestly I was so done with everything and I think I had a mentality of "if they want to send me out the minute I get to the CEC then fine".

Trying to think of the night before it gets fuzzy which is weird cause I don't think I drank with the ativan. Maybe I did? I have this memory of going back and forth sipping cream soda and hard cider. But I can't remember if it was that night or another night. I remember taking 2 pills with celsius and I think I made a post about it on here if the two cancel out? But I can't remember taking the other 2/last 2 pills I had left.

Honestly it would explain the void in my memory. Like I didn't go to sleep, didn't even try to sleep that night yet I can't remember the hours up until I showered around 8:30? I actually think I was running late and was afraid I'd be late to my 10am admission, but like what would it have mattered if I was lol. I have a time stamp of the scale at 9:14am. Which speaking of that horrible thing... Ugh last year when I went inpatient it I was 36lbs lighter!! Jesus christ. I'm only up 15lbs since the day I discharged back in August. Which means I gained 20lbs during my entire admission. But my weight was constantly going up and down. I remember back in January I weighed less. I never did the weigh ins on Sunday the entire time I was here. Except occasionally but I made it a "blind weight for them" and weighed myself like in the corner so they couldn't see the number.

Okay moving off the topic of weight which has nothing to do with this post....

The night before I came here I kept procrastinating cleaning and laundry and packing and even when I had all my clothes and luggage in the kitchen on the table and counters I was still putting it off and getting distracted with other things. I think I ended up doing a last minute rush job with vacuuming in my living room. I kind of sort of remember showering and getting ready in the bathroom but the hours before that.. nothing.

I do remember on the drive here I was so tired and we were at a red light and I dozed off and my Nana got so worried.

I was afraid I was bringing too much. Looking at that picture I know the suitcase had clothes, that blue tied handle bag was food and snacks and my tumbler but that black floral bag... I don't even remember what I put in it.

When I got to the Clinical Evaluation Center they take everything (obviously) including my phone. I couldn't even keep a book which was strange but I just ended up sleeping or trying to.

They did my covid test which hurt like a bitch. Funny how some people aren't as invasive and others it feels like torture. Then she gave me a mask (absolute idiot) until my test came back.

I don't even remember the actual intake sessions just that the first one was with an MHS and the second was with a nurse. During all the waiting I hung out in the tv/lounge room and the chairs reclined which was nice. I got a blanket and pillow and tried to nap. I think I snacked on like a banana and pieces of a very dry blueberry muffin. Then I met with a doctor and talking about meds was fuzzy cause I told her how I stopped them and wasn't really taking them but then said how I'd take my prn and sleeping med occasionally.

I think I finally got up to the unit a little before 2pm because I remember the announcement for the 2pm fresh air walk. I saw some familiar faces especially when I had to wait in the hallway while my room was being cleaned. I saw the two girls (ones actually a few years younger than me and one is like in her 50s lol) saying "girls" sounded weird and like I needed to clarify.

The charge nurse who I always thought didn't like me did my intake and she was super nice and kept saying "hun/honey". She says that to everyone but it made me feel nice. It was very quick, she said something like "do you want me to go over everything or...." and I asked if there were any new rules and she said no and so that was that. She looked at the cuts and scratches on my chest from earlier that morning. I do know that I was honest and mentioned it downstairs in the CEC during my intake but they didn't ask to look at it. Maybe they thought it was the same as my (uncovered) chest and not that bad. But the nurse on the unit put a med consult in to make sure it wasn't infected, it's not, it never is.

I finally got to my room and ironically its one of the ones I was in the last time I was here. Unfortunately it's on the side where you can see in when the door is open. I was on this side for a few weeks in October last year and then I was switched to a single in November while on the 1:1 and after that I was switched back into this room but was on the other side luckily. I was in this room for I think 2 months, the majority with my friend who's still here. It was this room that had mold in it. Right near my bed lmao, and we had to move out.

Anways back to yesterdays boring chain of events. Once I got to my room I immediately tried to take a nap. By this point it was like 2:30ish cause I remember briefly seeing the checks person start her hour. She was one of my favs last time. I tried to sleep but it was so uncomfortable with these hospital pillows and the blanket and pillow I brought had to go through the dryer for 30 mins and I guess it was a busy time in the laundry room. I was trying to avoid having to leave my room but I ended up going to the nurses station to ask for my pillow/double check the stupid rule of it needing to go in the dryer...

I forget what time it was but when one of the cousnelors started her rounds on checks and was all nice and "hey Deb, do you need anything" I asked if she could check on when they'd be able to go through my belongings. Then a little bit later, I honestly don't think it was that much later but two counselors came in with all my stuff and started going through it. I liked those two so it was nice to see them again. We chatted a little while they went through things and then one of them who was strict/good at her job asked in the end "is there anything I missed that's going to pop up later?" and I smirked and was like "is that a trick question" and she was like "just trying to cover my bases". But I didn't sneak anything in from home. I almost said to them "the only thing I was tempted to sneak in was a really nice pen" but honestly that might not have been well received. But it's true. I'm not trying to start things off on the wrong foot especially since this is a voluntary admission and I reached out for help. Like how fucked up would it be if I snuck in stuff to hurt myself with right off the bat. Granted I did that throughout my admission last time when I went out on passes so I know they have their guards up and might even think I still managed to get something in. I don't blame them.

Once I got my clothes and stuff I folded and put everything away. My nurse for the evening came in during my belongings and introduced herself to me. She's new to the unit. I think she came right after I left but I already like her.

We had a check in and I asked her to rebandage my arm because the charge nurse who covered it tbh did a horrible job 😅 and it was way too big and covering newer scars that have been so itchy and irritated lately.

After that I went back to my room and don't really remember the order of the rest of the night but I know I saw those two girls playing cards and got introduced to some lady and younger guy. Then my roommate walked in and they all seemed nice. It became apparant that I knew the two girls from a previous admission and then my roommate was like "oh youve been here before, so you're all set..." sort of trailing off a question of thinking she'd tell me about the unit/show me around lol. She's a little older than me and super sweet. I was talking to one of the girls how it's weird being in our old room and the younger guy chimed in and said something and then was like "oh you guys know each other" and I was like "yeaaa me, blank and blank go way back" and me and the younger girl laughed.

I made some ramen since I already know the food here is shitty. I mean it's not always crap but it's not the best. Last time I resorted to just eating my own food like microwable stuff and snacks.

I think it was around 9 when the older girl texted asking if I was heading to bed or up to chat and so we hung out for a little while catching up and it was nice.

Then I made some english muffins, watched a little Will & Grace and then headed to my room at 11 when they close the common areas.

I "got ready for bed" which I'm going to try to do more while I'm here, like washing my face and brushing my teeth. I was worried spending so much time in the bathroom they'd think I was up to something but it was change of shift and honestly I don't even care.

When I came out I saw this girl who always works overnights and she's the best. It was just a quick hello in passing but it was nice to see her.

I was going to stay up late but I was exhausted and fell asleep before midnight and shockingly without any meds. But it makes sense since I didn't sleep the night before. I also didn't know if my trazodone was even in the system just cause of the weird interaction with the doctor in admissions "I'll put x, y and z in for now and you can talk to your doctor on the unit about the other stuff" and I forgot what the "x, y and z" were lol.

That was pretty much it. As if that wasn’t just 10 thousand paragraphs 🙄

[knizmokat]

Life Update !!

this is so overdue but i've been crazy busy with college stuff (agh)

okay so you guys (probably) know that i'm in college getting a bachelors in social care and this whole semester (plus my second semester of third year) is work experience/placement.

for the americans and anyone else who doesn't know what that is: work experience is when students get a part-time or full-time job during the semester and shadow staff or professionals to get experience in their field.

my course has two work experience blocks, so i'm on placement for my entire first semester of second year (which is right now) and then also the entire second semester of third year, so i don't have any classes or lectures until January. we have to log 400 hours by the 6th of December so it's roughly 30 or 35 hours a week, for twelve weeks.

i started on the 9th of September and i'm working at a day service (or centre) for people with intellectual disabilities and mental health struggles (mostly the former). and it's actually pretty chill! my schedule is below

Mon to Thurs: 8.30 - 4.30

Wednesday: 8.30 - 12.30

Friday: 8.30 - 3.00

the place where i work always gives students a half-day so they can get more time for college work and lemme tell you, i was so hyped when i found this out because i thought it would be nine to five, monday to friday.

so like i said, it's been really chill, but adjusting to the new work routine has been really difficult because i finish at 4.30 but i don't actually get home until 5.00 and then i have to change and do stuff and it's been a little messy—but we're settling !!

the place is really chill, the service users (that's what the official term is for people who are involved with the social care sector) are all pretty nice. the majority of them are much older than me though, which is a little weird sometimes because i'm essentially in this position of leadership and 'authority' and telling a man who is a few decades older than me to go have his lunch 💀💀

the adjustment, again, has been a struggle because i've never had to create a work/life balance for myself? like when i'm at work i have to be present and focused, so i was on social media wayyy less and literally didn't message some of my friends for days outside of sending Instagram reels 💀 but like i said, i'm finally settling and finding some balance

my supervisor is also really cool, she's very flexible when it comes to missing days and says that i can make the hours whenever, like if i see an opportunity then i take it (if you don't have 400 hours logged by december, you fail placement) and she's always making sure that i'm comfortable and stuff because they haven't had a transgender student working for them before lol

outside of that uhhh not much? has happened?? i've gone through a lot of growth since August and i'm not really sure how it happened but like i'm just more confident now and i'm more comfortable in my sexuality (or should i say asexuality haha) and i've come to terms with a lot of things, been dealing with my anxiety really well (but i also got stress sick this last week because of procrastination and executive dysfunction kicking my ass)

also i got back into roleplaying bc my friend has this server and oh my God it's so good, i went ages without getting to roleplay anything because i didn't really have any partners (excluding reygn yes i see you gorgeous) and just ahh

also i'm back into anime, finally continued my hero academia and restarted jujutsu kaisen, slow going though because i'm fixating on other things simultaneously but holy shit mha season six?? goddamn

but uhh yeah so that's been my life :)

i have two fics in the works but when i'll get those finished is anybodys guess, could be next week could be next year, who knows lmao

i'm gonna try to post more on here—and i mean actually post not just reblogging shit lol

feel free to ask me whatever or leave stuff in my askbox

[fanatic-domain-fanfiction]

I remember you shared part of it with me a while ago, but would you be interested in finishing the story of Kazurei’s first kiss? UwU

I remember what you were talking about! It's part of a longer fic (that I didn't publish before the finale where things happen a little differently as I need to tweak it). This happens after events go down at the Suwa Mansion and Rei is resting, under the orders of Kazuki. Hope this is good enough for you!!! TW: mentions of murder/death (they are two assassins after all)

“Didn’t you say I was meant to help?” Kazuki pulled his coat on with a sigh. “You resting is helping right now and you know what some of the daycare mothers can be like. You turning up all battered and bruised is only going to bring up more questions and we’ve got enough to deal with.” He strode over to where Rei was sat on the couch playing Morio Kart, a blanket draped over him that Miri had insisted on. Kazuki leant on the back, standing quite close to his partner. “Take the time to catch up on your games while Kyu and I sort out what’s happened.” Rei nodded, only pouting slightly. “That’s settled. I won’t be long.” “PAPA!!” “Okay, Miri! Be back soon,” Kazuki chuckled and leant down, turning his head towards Rei, eyes slipping shut as he gave his partner a gentle kiss.

Rei’s character fell off the track as Kazuki sprang back, eyes wide. His mouth opened and closed like some sort of goldfish as Rei stared at him. “PAPA!!!!” “Right! Yep. Daycare. Bye, Rei.” Kazuki quickly ran over to the door, grabbing his umbrella and ushering Miri out of the door. “Papa, why is your face all red?” “Because it’s too hot.” “But I’m cold!” “Well, I’m too hot-”

The door slammed shut leaving the apartment filled only with the noise of Rei’s abandoned game. *** Kazuki stood in the rain, watching Miri run inside. He almost wished he could stay a bit longer before having to go back and face Rei. Maybe he could get some shopping in… there must be something that they needed, but he’d just been out the other day. “Kazuki? I thought Rei usually brings Miri today.” He looked over and saw a couple of the mothers had walked over. “Yeah, he normally does but… Rei’s had a difficult weekend and just needs some time.” “Oh no! If you don’t mind, what happened?” “He lost his father. It was all quite sudden,” Kazuki said, wondering if you could describe pre-meditated murder as sudden. The mothers gasped and quickly started offering their condolences, even if it felt quite unnecessary to Kazuki. “What’s Miri been like about it?” “We…” Kazuki scratched the back of his head. “Decided not to tell her. She doesn’t even know him anyway and he’s never been interested in getting to know her. We would rather keep things as normal as we can for her.” “If there is anything we can do to help, then you shouldn’t be afraid to ask.” “Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind.” Kazuki smiled and left to face the inevitable… whatever that might be when he got home. ***

Kazuki hesitated at the door. It would be fine. It would be fine. He could always… play it off as a joke or just apologise. He’d messed up. At the very least he should have asked before just… kissing him! Oh God… had Rei even kissed anyone before? Kazuki wondered if maybe staying out here would be the better option for now.

No.

He had to speak to Rei. He had to get this sorted out… at least before he had to go and pick Miri up at the end of the day. He had time… but the more he procrastinated, the less time he had. Taking a deep breath, Kazuki opened the door. “I’m back!” he called out, looking towards the sofa as he took his shoes off.

No Rei. Just the blanket. Where was he!? He was meant to be resting!

Kazuki hung his coat up and walked in. “Rei! I’m home!” “Hey,” a voice replied from the kitchen, pouring out a mug of coffee. “What did I tell you about resting?” “I was thirsty.” “And you couldn’t wait for me to get back.” Rei shrugged, adding in way too much sugar than any human should have in coffee, according to Kazuki. He grabbed the mug and trudged back to the sofa, stopping at Kazuki first.

“Welcome home,” he mumbled, giving Kazuki the briefest kiss before heading back to his game.

It was Kazuki’s turn to be struck dumb, standing there like a lovestruck statue. Rei… wasn’t mad? In fact, he… had done the same.

Kazuki marched over to Rei, taking the mug off him, placing it on the floor. Before Rei could protest, he found a bent finger tucked underneath his chin, tilting his head up. Any want to protest disappeared as warm lips met his again. They stayed like that for a few seconds before Kazuki pulled back. He smiled softly, eyes just starting to open as Rei pulled him in again, Kazuki nearly falling over.

One kiss turned into two… to three… to four… to losing count.

When Kazuki opened his eyes again, he was sat beside Rei, arms tightly around his partner. One hand has found its way into Rei’s hair. Rei had Kazuki held by the collar of his hoodie, staring at him. “I love you, Rei.” “I love you too, Kazuki.”

Silence fell once again, just for a moment, like it was often doing with just the two of them. It wasn’t awkward or an emptiness that needed filling. It was just… peaceful and comforting.

“So… what are we?” asked Rei, a pink tinge to his cheeks that crept up towards his ears. “We’re partners. Just like we’ve always been. Only now… we do this.” Kazuki leant over and kissed Rei’s flushed cheek. “Not everything has to change. We can just add to what we’ve got.” “I like that. Partners.” “Me too, Rei. Me too.” Kazuki pulled Rei into his arms, leaning back on the sofa. His partner curled up against him, pulling the blanket over them both, head tucked under Kazuki’s chin. “You’re comfy…” “Glad I make a good pillow.”

Rei closed his eyes. This was definitely a life that had been worth fighting for. Kazuki and Miri were worth it. This moment here was worth it.

[dreamingbrownie]

Rewrite your stories until they tell you the truth.

This quote from Cornelia Funke in a Zoom Q&A I had the honour to be part of last January has genuinely changed the way I write. For those of you outside the German-speaking countries; Cornelia Funke is one of Germany's most popular teenage- and young adult novel authors, her bibliography at this point eclipses that of some history professors of mine, and her books are what got me into writing 15 years ago. I'm 26 now, so like many of us in fandom spaces, I started very young, got around a lot on the internet, and had my fair share of creator burnout over the years. I also have ADHD, unmedicated for a lot of reasons I won't get into here, so the wip curse is strong in me. I currently have three big longfic wips in three different fandoms - Yuri on Ice, Fantastic Beasts and Merlin BBC - all of which are just lacking the ending. I have worked on all of those for more than a year and a half now. Up until a few days ago, I felt like What few still understand, my House of the Dragon Long Night do-over, would become one of them.

Being on tumblr for something upwards of eight years now (and having created a tumblr account for the sole reason to keep up with the Sherlock BBC Season 4 speculations ahead of the disastrous launch), I have seen a variation on the "we are authors, not creators, for fuck's sake stop capitalizing fandom" post every other week on here for years now. And as wholeheartedly as I agree with that statement, somehow I failed to internalize it. To make it true for myself, for my works, the time and effort I put into them. I don't know if university has made me a chronic perfectionist or the rejection sensitivity aspect of ADHD, either way, I have a high standard for my own work inside and outside of fandom, which isn't a bad thing persé but lately i have found myself dissatisfied with my works as I was writing them. Coming back to them a couple days afterwards usually shows me what sections really do work and what needs editing.

"Re-write your stories until they tell you the truth" - I was never a fan of thinking of a story as a first draft, as the sand you just build your castle out of the second or even third go-around. Writing long fanfictions takes enough time as is, and living with chronic pain especially in my arms, I probably should be writing less than I already am. But this time, with What few still understand, I really tried to follow that advice from one of the authors I admire most in the world: Why does this conversation between three characters feel off? Why do I keep working on it in the back of my head like nagging a loose tooth on the way to work, why does this scene feel wrong days after I have written it? Why did I keep procrastinating the finale? (Because I hate writing battles. That's why.) Now, recently I have been reading everything dear Cecil (@softest-punk) over in the Sandman fandom puts out, and one thing they said a while ago also really stuck with me: Fanfiction isn't the published book world (thank the stars), so we're all just playing doll together. We can have our cake and eat it too. And somehow, this clashes with my perfectionism despite that it resonates with me so much.

So, lately I have been trying to find the golden middle for myself. At which point am I satisfied enough with my writing that I can publish it online and be okay with the result, and what does it take to get to that point without obsessing over the details? How do I get rid of the demon of doubt on my shoulder making the pain worse because I spent too many hours on my laptop pouring over the Targaryen family dynamics in this fix-it world I accidentally created? Let's leave aside this volatile fandom making my anxiety over publishing worse; what I am hoping to achieve is to brighten some people's day. If I am yanking on their heartstrings in the process, promise there's always a happy ending waiting at the end of my stories. I just have to find that happy ending to my own creation process, and that is going to take time, I suppose.

[scarfacemarston]

I'm writing an essay for the first time in YEARS (1500 words) any top tips as a seasoned writer? 😅

Hey! I’m happy to help. First and foremost, do not procrastinate. Yes, that is so hypocritical of me because I’ve been struggling not to do it myself. However, the less you can procrastinate, the better. I like having a writing playlist. I recommend classical music, there are so many sub genres of classical music that I’m sure you’ll find something. There are lots of good videos that are things like “Calming piano music and fire crackling” or “Library ambient sounds” if classical music isn't your thing. If you're looking to get into classical music, I recommend Debussy! Debussy has a lot of relaxing music.

This is relaxing, too, imo. It’s bardcore!  Other advice: 1. Outlines are your friend. They are so incredibly helpful, and many assignments may require an outline. I have had multiple academic and work assignments that requested one, but even if it’s not required, it’s still helpful. I had a professor introduce me to the “reverse outline”, which is when you take your paper, or what you have of it, and create an outline out of it. Here's an example. It's okay if you're not able to write outlines at the moment. You can always practice with other assignments.

2. I would also recommend writing just the subheadings and writing what you know from there and just writing in sections. I have had professors discuss how writing the introduction and the conclusion is the hardest part and should be written last. Unfortunately, some teachers/professors may require an intro first as a preview. It just depends on your teacher/professor. 3. My biggest piece of advice is something I struggle with, but it is helpful. It’s called a zero draft. It’s when you write stuff. Whatever comes to mind.It doesn't exactly have to be brainstorming, but it can be. I think this is way more free-thinking than that. Ex: tuberculosis Deadly, cultural, in pop culture, Sanitariums- places to live. Percy Shelly - author who died from it. Antibiotics - 1940s. Rene Dubos - wrote the first cultural history book. Trudeau - has cabins in NY.

It’s great for perfectionists because it’s no pressure. You KNOW you are going to write garbage. It’s like “word vomit”. From there, you have ideas, and you start to shape up what you have. What matters is getting SOMETHING on the page. Perfection does not exist. I have to tell myself this constantly.(Far easier said than in practice. I have OCD, and it’s a struggle.)

Getting it done is better than nothing at all. Again, I know sooo many people feel the same, so you’re not alone! Even people I look up to struggle with this. Misc ideas: going for walks, even if it's mini walks in the apartment/house. Also, practice self-care. Some people take longer showers/baths, and others take a nap, as crazy as that sounds. It's been weirdly helpful for me. Finally, think of a small reward for when you finally finish!

I hope some of this is helpful. Best of luck, and let me know if you need more help!

[give-soup-please]

Hello there, Jay - been a bit I think. Honesty, not sure exactly HOW long it's been but I know it's certainly been a while.

I both have a lot to say and nothing at the same time. I had notes but I kind of lost them while moving, and then also just kind of.. lost them in my brain. What do you think about the idea of time being a soup? Because honestly I think it is. Very soup-ey indeed, slipping through the cracks and just washing away down the drain. Not that I would wash a way soup - not if it's good, and a lot of soups are good (like you!) Anyways: - I know a while ago you were in the ER, I'm glad to see you're doing a bit better, that makes me happy and less violently concerned for you like I had been. It was interesting to actually have a vague back and forth with you there, but I was pretty quiet. I usually am, anyways. - I wish I could throw a bunch of money at you to write something. As you know I absolutely adore your writing, it just soothes my soul with the way you weave your words together. Maybe I'll save up while doing some commissions of my own to do that. I hope you're getting a lot of commissions though, you deserve them. - I... have become violently obsessed with Good Omens. If I didn't have two commissions I needed to finish as well as an art project I had started I would just be drawing that. They are literally rotating around in my head constantly. I don't want to include any spoilers (I'm sure you already watched it all, but just in case anyone is scrolling through or something) I practically combusted when I saw the last ten or so minutes of that episode. Do you have any theories for that? I think you can do a ... spoiler like thing... I think. Anyways, everything is fine and it all ended well... right... RIGHT???? - The new Tumblr layout is absolute garbage and I had a mild breakdown over it while trying to figure out how everything worked. It's annoying as all get out, and I THINK there's a way to fix it? I got this link from someone when asking about it - but honestly I'm a bit lost when it comes to in depth stuff like this so I can't fix it personally: Link: https://www.tumblr.com/vellichorom/725846270328127488?source=share - I'm sure there's more I want to talk about. It's like my brain is full of a lot of things but nothing really wants to be written down... It's mostly because of Good Omens, but also other things. In any case, I hope you're doing well. And of course, as I always end these things, please take care of yourself. Do something for you, eat a little snack, DRINK WATER, and most of all continue to be you in the face of everything that goes against that. You are a wonderful person. You are important. You are amazing just the way you are. Your friend, ~ May

PS: If this comes through more than once, just ignore that... Tumblr was acting funny and I had to try it again... more than once... seriously I'm sorry if this comes through like ten times

may! great to hear from you/gen

(i was worried when i hadn't heard from you in a while, ngl. happy to hear you're doing okay.)

-the thing about time being soup is pretty funny. i've heard time being described as soupy, which is fairly accurate sometimes. and i'm glad you wouldn't wash a poor innocent soup away.

-yes, i am doing much better after my ER visit. i still have to get the labs done to work out what the heck went wrong, which i've been procrastinating. (i'll make an appointment tomorrow, i swear. or monday, if it's not open over the weekend. ugh)

-you are welcome to save up! commissions are going to be permanently open, because i'm a senior in college now and i need to make money so i can get housing after i graduate. so whenever you want, say the word. i am getting a decent amount of commissions in for the time being. a few people have said that when their next paycheck comes in, they'll talk to me, so i'm glad i'll have work in the future. but yeah anyone can come in at any time and talk to me about that, i don't mind taking on work. it fills up my days in a nice way.

-i love good omens 2, and that series finale was killer in so many ways dlkfsjdlf- i do have a few theories and thoughts, but i won't share them for the time being. i will say i don't agree with the coffee theory though. doesn't feel right given gaiman's usual style of writing.

-thank you for the link! i got it fixed ASAP so i'm not bothered anymore. i do have several thoughts on what tumblr is doing with the direction of this website though.

-i am doing well. tired, but well. my apartment is fully clean now and i can see floor again. it's been a year since it's been this good. (not an exaggeration. i have bad problems with depression nests, and i'm trying to get better.)

take care of yourself too, ok?

[inkedmyths]

S1: E9 "Home"

Alright its been almost a month time to stop procrastinating this

Ohhh ~crunchy~ video quality

Oh a classic monster in the closet situation

Surprised the lady didn't get like dragged in right then and there

Its wild bc obviously in real life there's never anything in the closet but this is Supernatural in which case ofc there's something

Its not rats! Its something worse!

THE CHAIR. ITS MOVING. RUN KID

WAIT WINCHESTERS

H U H

0oh Sam and his ~prophetic dreams~

Me when someone's trying to talk to me as I'm drawing

Sam I feel like you should just say you're having spooky dreams

THERE we go

Dean did not sign up for his little brother being a psychic

Dean shut up its road trip back home time. Bitch.

THE CAMERA. THE MUSIC. THE DRAMA. This is so funny SPN is a soap opera actually

[ Crepe says that no one can handle Sam's bs in a calm and controlled manner. My opinion is no one can handle any of the Winchester's bullshit in a calm and controlled manner. ]

Awkward but I mean ok

Waiting for the kid to say "There's something in the closet"

YEP

Bros just yelling at each other bc they are so normal about this

Dean is so so bad with his feelings huh

[ Kayla asks if I am just realizing this. I am not. I was merely repeating a statement of observation. It seemed relevant. ]

Walks away bc he didn't want Sam to see him showing an emotion

NOT THE FUCKING CYMBALS MONKEY

NOOOOO

NO DONT STICK YOUR HAND

Oh I am not watching the screen no thank you

[ Kayla finds this reaction funny because "We've all been there". This is fair. And I know the man is just trying to do his job. However, he is, unfortunately, in an episode of Supernatural. If you are a random background character in an episode of Supernatural, you should never stick your hand in a thing that has many sharp blades. ]

I know where this is going to go

YEP EURGH arm smoothie

DUMBASSES THEY'RE PRETENDING TO BE COPS INVESTIGATING THEIR OWN DISAPPEARANCE

I feel like they would get farther is they just walked up to people and said WE'RE SAM AND DEAN

[ Melon says that we should play a drinking game, in which every time Sam and Dean do something stupid, you take a sip of a drink. Forst of all, I am still a year away from being able to consume alcohol legally. Second of all, this sounds like a surefire way to get alcohol poisoning. ]

Oh ofc. Psychic time.

"Your wife if crazy about you!" Turns around "His wife is banging the gardener" Incredible

LMAO CALLING DEAN A GOOFY LOOKIN KID

Oh shes good. Interesting

Sam as she's yelling at Dean is just :D

This poor lady its not her fault that the guy got blended

Yes something is starting. A TV show

UH OH

Is it giving the kid juice. Whats the deal

Oh its shutting him in the FRIDGE

UH OH

THE FRIDGE

MA'AM BEHIND YOU THE FRIDGE

OPEN THE FRIDGE

Thank god

NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED

She's so much smarter than either of the bros

I have a sneaking suspicion the firey spirit is their mom or something

[ It is at this point that Crepe has no concept of how not to spoil an Ep and says I'm right. I figured, the plot beats seemed obvious, but come ON. The less you spoil the funnier my reactions will be. Let me enjoy my incredible powers of prediction in due time. ]

Oop there goes the lamp

Uh oh there is attenpted murder via flying objects

WOAH

Flashy light

MISSOURI MA'AM ARE YOY OKAY

Oh good

Holy cow that was something

SORRY ABOUT YOUR HOUSE THE GHOST DID NOT LIKE US

GET THE MOP AND DONT CUSS AT ME

There's like 10 minutes left what's gonna happen next

SHAKING

Is Sam outside oh yep there's the bros

go go go

FLAMING FIGURE

Oh bye bye Sam

DOOR SHUT how drama

Oh hes just getting punted

OH HI

Ur not on fire anymore whats up

Ghost fight! Ghost fight!

Oh yeah tragic sacrifice all that Sam buddy she was already dead

Alright so Sam is on some kind of bizarre spooky journey

AHA. THE BASTARD

YOU. MOTHERFUCKER

OLD MAN WINCHESTER WHATS YOUR FUCKING ANGLE

[ Episode ends. Crepe said it would be funnier if I added in the other's commentary. Kayla agreed. I hope this appeases you both. ]

[funkymbtifiction]

Hello! I'm 25 at the moment and I'm at the brink of giving up on finding my enneagram. For the last 5 years I read every book about enneagram I could find, I observed myself endlessly but still nothing.

Types I'm considering are 9,1,2 and 6.

First, 9. My goal is to feel cozy and comfortable all the time and I give in to pleasures without feeling guilty. <- strong sp

What you describe as 9 actually isn't 9 at all. It's the social instinct and procrastination (anyone can do it) and general positivity (probably your 2 wing).

Yet, I have way stronger opinions and attitudes than any 9 I know. I have a moral opinion on EVERYTHING. There's non of that "its okay" with me. Recently someone said that it's none of your business to help someone who's struggling with self harming and it pissed me off. Like, of course you should help, its your duty to help. That seems like 1 to me. I'm also highly perfectionistic, I have exact image how I want my life to be like and who I want in it and I just discard anyone who doesn't fit in that image. The person I'm going to marry has to be perfect by my standards. Even though I'm 25 I have never been with anyone because nobody ever lived up to my expectations and its not right to jump into relationships.

This sounds core 1w2. Perfectionism, frustration, and rejection. 9w1s side-eye things they disagree with and go along with it; 1s put down their foot and moralize about it.

Everything I do has to be perfect of I won't do it. I started to learn crochet recently and it took me 2 months to make a simple blanket for my cat because it needed to be perfect. And you can apply that to any area of my life

The core pain of being a 1 -- rigid with yourself and self-sabotaging because it has to be "just right."

But, like I said before I give in to pleasures like eating, sleeping and buying things that make me happy without any remorse or guilt. I suffer a lot from guilt for bad things I did in my life like lying and manipulation (I did a lot if that when I was younger) but not for making myself happy.

2s don't feel guilty for their well-deserved luxuries; if others will not pamper and indulge them, they will do it themselves -- they have earned it!

2 I see in my need to help others but also in anger when they don't express gratitude for what I have done. I work as a student and my boss needed someone for next shift and I immediately offered to stay whole day at work (its a hard job but I would do it just to please her). She said students can only work 6 hours a day so I could not stay but then I did everything I could to find someone. I called everyone I know and I did find someone. When I was leaving my boss didn't even say thank you and I was angry for it. Is that 2? I did this for you and you should express love to me for it.

This is 2ish, yes. But could also be a 1w2 thing, because this is the right and responsible thing to do and people aren't appreciating it. Think about what motivated it.

I don't do much meddling because I'm super introverted but I do nudge people in "right direction" because I always have an opinion on what should they do.

The RIGHT DIRECTION is very obvious to 1w2s...

Also, I constantly do things I don't want to do just because I think I should. Even though I find cats very annoying (I love cats but they are bothersome) I still saved 2 of them and take care of them the best I can, I gave my entire savings to my mother when she needed money etc.

How dare you find feline overlords bothersome. :P But yes, this is virtue whether you feel like it or not -- fits 1w2.

But I'm also very emotionally distant and rational for a 2.

That's cuz you're a 1. 1w2s are less emotional than core 2s.

2s always berate me for not reaching out. I will literally disappear for days, just reading books at home without any need to interact with others. And if someone has a problem my reaction is always to give them rational advice on how to solve a problem rather than give emotional comfort, 2s do opposite right?

sp/so, introversion, and 1w2. Might also be ITJ.

6 I see the least but Im highly anxious, always thinking about what could go wrong and what will I do if that happens. I need support system badly and others to tell me what is correct thing to do.

Probably a 6 fix.

I don't think so/sp is right, but I'm not super great with instincts yet. You seem more self-contained and distant.

[angelsnaiils]

diary 5/11/23

oh boy, do i have a story ૮꒰ྀི ,> ៸៸៸ < ྀི꒱ა

CONTENT WARNING: sedatives/drugs, panic attacks, surgery!

so! yesterday, may 10th, i was supposed to get my wisdom teeth removed. i have a pretty bad fear of surgery, but i had been doing a good job of keeping it in check! the thing i was afraid of most was the IV, i despise needles and i have a traumatic memory related to IVs (no exaggeration). upon the surgery prep, a few tears were shed…

the type of sedation used for this surgery was not a full sedation, essentially i was still somewhat conscious so that i would be able to respond if they needed to ask me if i was okay (that was the plan at least…) but i wouldn’t really be aware of it, nor remember anything.

after the IV was inserted (after some panic), everything was blurry and all of a sudden i was half awake and very giggly. i remember i kept asking my parents “is it really done? it seriously happened?” and they kept telling me yes, the surgery was done.

… it wasn’t!

according to the surgeon, after sedation, i would not allow him to continue the surgery!! while we don’t know exactly what happened, it seems that the sedatives did the opposite of what they were supposed to do. my assumption is i was either crying, shaking, or in some way moving/fighting back and that’s why it was unsafe for him to proceed. he said that the more he gave me, the worse it got… needless to say, this reaction is INCREDIBLY concerning to me and i will be consulting my therapist and doctors as well as asking him about it when i go back to have the teeth removed.

while i wasn’t fully recovered when he broke this news, i was conscious enough to be absolutely crushed. i SOBBED. all the anticipation for nothing! i actually had to be brought out the back instead of through the waiting room because i was crying so loud.

i now will have to reschedule to have the surgery done in the hospital. this is so that an anesthesiologist can put me under and i will be completely unconscious. i hate that i’ll have to go through the preparation all over again, and block off recovery time in my schedule again, but at least i can rest easy knowing this one will be far less traumatic. (つ﹏⊂)

the icing on the cake is that my shaking left me with a horrible bruise from the IV! sighs.

luckily, i ended up being able to play dungeons and dragons that same night with my friends, which helped take my mind off the disappointment + anxiety.

today!

i had a LOVELY day, thankfully! i woke up and did a bit of pilates and yoga, then took a nice long walk. it was beautifully sunny all day! after my shower i finished up my modules for my summer class, did some cleaning, and ate outside! ໒꒰ྀི ๑ ´ ˘ ` ू ꒱ྀིა

i also FINALLY uploaded a new vlog!! admittedly, the footage is somewhat old … but i’m still happy i got it up. the more i follow through, the more it will become a consistent habit! i really enjoy vlogging and editing, but i’m still in the process of beating procrastination. this is a big win in that direction!!

if you read all that… here’s a hug for you my love! sleep well!! ♡