#okay i didn't actually expect that many characters to be involved either

[gemkun]

what do you mean that's the end of the lantern rite event ? i need more !

[caxycreations]

Okay, I've been nerd sniped, I'm sorry

NOTE: If you're going to reblog just to say "not reading that" or some other rude shit, DON'T. I've seen so many notifications of people just saying they couldn't be bothered to read it. I don't know if it's just that they don't see how incredibly rude and disheartening that is or if they know and don't care, but either way it really hurts to see, so please don't reblog if it's just to tell me you won't read it.

So let's go through the canonical likelihood they could each beat Goku. For the sake of keeping canon, we'll keep groups/pairs together if they would never reasonably be apart for something like this. Long post below the cut.

So first up are the ones I see that would, without a doubt, beat Goku.

Saiki K

Saiki is an omnipotent psychic/psionic with quite literally every single possible power out there. Now, this on its own isn't enough to beat Goku. Versatility doesn't mean everything, but Saiki is also powerful enough to rewrite the genetics and reality of everything within range, and his range is, so far, "Earth".

So this, on its own, would allow him to rewrite Goku's biology to make him Human. Bye bye zenkai boosts, bye bye Saiyan transformations. And Saiki, with his powers, has no trouble beating a Human of any caliber if he truly wanted to. And for those who ask "Why would he ever fight Goku?"

One simple reason: Goku would sense his immense power, and be excited for a fight. Goku is respectful enough to not force one if he's refused, but he's persistent enough to badger Saiki until he's given a chance. And Saiki, being Saiki, would simply take off one of his limiters, or both, and rewrite reality as such: "Being an alien isn't possible", thereby making it effective immediately that Goku must be lying/insane, and he is, in fact, Human. Easy win for Saiki.

And for those who would argue against this, bear in mind, the funniest way to beat Goku in this instance would be to simply make him weaker than Saiki, and Saiki is a gag character from a gag series, and it's already been shown in the world of Dragon Ball, and again in Dragon Ball Super, that Goku is incapable of defeating a gag character regardless of that characters canonical ability.

Saiki could win without gag character status, but even in the instance of Goku "beating" him, the gag would turn out to be that Saiki only pretended to get beaten, and is actually entirely unharmed because it was the easiest way to get Goku to leave him alone. Followed by a reveal that Goku will still show up now and then to ask for sparring matches, to drive the point home.

Popeye

Gag character. Would get beaten handily, crawl his way to spinach, and then be exactly as strong as he needs to be to take Goku down in however many hits is funniest.

Bugs Bunny

The gag character to end all gag characters. Someone on this hellsite once described Bugs as a "Trickster God who traps us in our own societal expectations" or some such. Like convincing Thanos to remove the Infinity Gauntlet by establishing a security checkpoint with a metal detector and shaming him into cooperating by telling him there's others waiting.

He could beat Goku in a billion ways, and each and every one of them would involve some shenanigan like Goku throwing a spirit bomb, Bugs showing up behind him holding it, saying "Ehhh, can you hold this for a second?" and as soon as Goku takes it and Bugs is off-screen, it would explode and Goku would be a pile of ashes with blinking eyes. Bugs would win because Bugs' gag is that...well, he simply can't be beaten.

The Warner Trio

Gag trio. Yakko, Wakko, and Dot would snark, sass, and sarcastic-joke their way into the scene, and they would spend the entire time poking fun at him, roasting his look, being unfazed by his attacks because "Nice laser show but we didn't bring our glowsticks." and just being too unbothered to care.

They would undoubtedly annoy Goku into admitting defeat simply to get away from them.

Road Runner

Gag character. Would force Goku to chase him, Goku would fire some blasts, chase him around, and inevitably be led right into the path of a blast he fired earlier to be disintegrated by it.

Pop Team Epic

I know nothing about this series except that it is a gag series. They are gag characters. That means Goku is inherently incapable of beating them.

ASDF Guy

Gag character. Could beat Goku with a simple "Hello, Mine-Turtle!" or "I like Trains."

Heart Diagram

Goku was literally killed by a heart virus in Future Trunks' timeline. This is one that has actually canonically already killed Goku.

Chowder

Gag character. Would likely be after S-Cells for some recipe and need to take Goku's as he's "The only Saiyan in this episode!" or some such, thereby ending the fight with a shot of Chowder wearing Goku's Gi for comedic effect while Dahl stirs raw Super Saiyan aura in a pot to hint that Chowder killed Goku for his S-Cells.

Force Ghost Trio

Gag versions of serious characters, and also ghosts. Goku is canonically unable to beat ghosts or gag characters, and these guys are both.

Those are the ones that would, without a doubt, beat Goku.

Now, let's go over the ones that could, potentially, be it likely or unlikely.

Kirby

Kirby is often considered a gag character, but he isn't. He has a very specific level of power, even if that level of power is "fuck you" levels of power. Kirby has beaten Gods, but so has Goku, even more often and with greater ease. However, Kirby has absorption and power-theft. Kirby could, potentially, absorb Goku (he isn't the brightest and Kirby has his unassuming appearance on his side) and take on his strongest form, including its powerup, and given Kirby in base form is likely more powerful than Goku in base form (Goku needed SSJ to scare Supreme Kai, Kirby beats Gods in base), it's possible Kirby would be more powerful than Goku with the same power up.

Kevin McCallister

Okay, hear me out.

Kevin is technically a gag character, BUT. He is not TRULY a gag character. He just happens to be a comedy character.

So he isn't guaranteed to win, but he could still possibly do so. How you ask?

Goku has been somewhat injured or lightly shaken by the following: planet-shattering attacks. Punches that rock the universe. Energy blasts so potent they would destroy entire galaxies.

Goku has been rendered inconsolable from the pain of the following: chest pain and a half-heartedly, boredly tossed pebble.

It is canon that when Goku and the other fighters in the series are expecting an attack or primed for battle, they are protected by their ki, like armor. It's how they're able to knock away attacks that would destroy planets, or put their "bare" hands on plasma energy that would normally burn the skin off you from a mile away let alone touching it.

This is why when Krillin threw the rock at Goku, it left him in agony and bruised him despite Goku being in Super Saiyan form at the time. This is why Chi-Chi is able to injure Goku regardless of how strong he gets.

So, how does this relate to Kevin being able to beat him? It's everything. It's critical information.

Kevin McCallister's entire M.O. is unexpected attacks. You open a door, you see a bucket fall, think it's over, turns out no, second bucket pulled by the first, second bucket is full of paint and open, you're blinded, you get your bearings, you take a step and feel cars, you smirk and step over them only to find marbles, you slip, you land on the cars which turn out to have been rigged to break easier to let loose a single thumbtack which is now firmly stuck in your back or butt. You bolt upright only to slam your head on a 2x4 that was rigged to hang down from a rope when you fell because your impact shook things enough to make it fall from a precarious perch above.

You get the idea. Every time you think it's safe to let your guard down, that's when the next wave hits. So you say "well he would stop letting his guard down" right? You fool. You know nothing of Goku. He would never put his guard UP. This is a human child, Goku can sense his pitiful power level. His strength? His speed? His ki? Weak. Pathetic. Nothing. A scouter wouldn't even register his power it's so low.

Goku never raises his guard to Chi-Chi, or to Bulma, or to Hercule. He does not raise his defense against normal, powerless, non-combative humans.

"BUT KEVIN IS COMBATIVE" No. He isn't. Goku can sense intent, power, and location. But Kevin isn't actively intending to hurt Goku. He's intending to protect himself and his home. He's not actively wanting to hurt Goku, he's just wanting Goku to leave. He doesn't have power to threaten Goku with, so Goku won't pick up on any threatening aura. And while Goku could simply instant transmission to Kevin and do what he will, we're not talking about how Goku could win, we're going over the fact Kevin could POSSIBLY win.

Enough injury and Goku is down for the count. Otherwise, Goku leaves to avoid further injury, and thereby admits defeat. Both cases, Kevin wins.

Shedinja

This one took me...quite a while. I had to do a lot of extra research for this. So, my immediate thought was Shedinja is a Ghost type, so ghost rules, right? Nah. Bug and Ghost type, and they are the physical shell left behind that has been reanimated. So they very much are physical beings, and given their ability to faint in the games and show they are capable of being physically damaged.

But There's a real case to be made for Shedinja beating Goku.

It can learn Ghost type moves, which operate on ghost-logic, and therefore are a canon weakness Goku is known to have. So things like Shadow Ball, Hex, Curse, and the like would all effect Goku regardless of Ki or form.

It also has access to Wonder Guard, which renders it "immune to all damage types that are not Super-Effective". For those unaware, we can actually attribute Typings to Goku's moves based on attributes and traits they share with Pokemon moves. His melee is, by nature, Fighting type, which Shedinja is immune to. In fact, Shedinja is immune to ALL attack types except Flying, Rock, Ghost, Dark, and Fire type moves, which are all Super Effective.

Goku's most common methods would actually fall under Fighting and Normal type attacks. "But his Ki blasts-" would be Normal type moves. You want proof?

Focus Energy is Normal Type. Quick Attack is Normal Type. Self Destruct is Normal Type. Techno Blast is Normal Type. Tera Blast is Normal Type. These are all energy based moves similar to ki blasts. Know what other energy based move is Normal Type? Hyperbeam. Which is almost identical to the Kamehameha and every other beam attack in DBZ.

Those few attacks Goku has that aren't going to be Normal Type will be Fighting Type.

Shedinja is Immune to all Normal and Fighting Type moves. Goku literally can not damage Shedinja, but Shedinja can damage Goku through Ghost Type moves. Shedinja can beat Goku. But why is it not "absolutely will" beat him? Because Goku can also transform his Ki and if he finds out Shedinja is vulnerable to fire, he can and will use that to his advantage.

That's who could potentially beat Goku. Here's who absolutely could not.

Saitama

I forgot to go over Saitama originally so here's the edit that features that analysis. Bear in mind I am saying this as someone who has seen Seasons 1 and 2 of the show AND is aware of some of the events of the manga.

A lot of reblogs over Saitama claim he is a gag character. But there is a case to be made that he is NOT. What is that case you ask? Well, for the sake of fairness, here is how I am handling gag characters: if their gag is in effect in 100% of all cases (such as looney tunes like Bugs or Road Runner) or if the gag is triggered in 100% of all cases (such as Saiki K or Chowder) then they are a True Gag Character and will insta-win.

However, if their gag has failed (such as Wario, or, yes, even Saitama) in ANY case, then it CAN fail again, and the fairest fight is one against two non-gag characters, so we can safely apply non-gag Saitama here since his gag has failed and Goku meets the conditions to cause it to fail again, which I'll explain.

So, first off, how does his gag fail? Well, his gag is that he kills everything instantly in one hit, unless he actively chooses not to. So we can safely say his gag fails if any of the following are true: he fails to instantly kill an enemy with a single hit while intending to do so, OR if he fails to kill an enemy with a serious hit intended to kill.

He meets both of these conditions. Boros survived for several seconds AFTER Saitama hit him with a Serious Punch. It was a single hit that intended to kill...But he didn't kill Boros INSTANTLY with it. Another example of his gag failing, if that doesn't satisfy, is Garou. Garou, in the manga, has survived MULTIPLE Serious Punches with intent to kill. This, on its own, is proof Saitama's Serious Punch does in fact have a limit to its output. It also proves his gag can, and does, fail against certain opponents.

So the next thing we need to look at is similarities between Garou and Boros to identify what they share that could possibly allow them to get around Saitama's gag, or to nullify it entirely. First similarity is that both are determined to have a good, satisfying fight. Boros crossed the stars seeking one, and Garou sought to become a true Monster powerful enough to force every hero, every do-gooder, to unite under one banner just to take him down. They both seek a battle to end all battles, even if Garou's intention is to end it in his favor, not simply enjoy the fight.

The second similarity is that they have incredibly unique circumstances, even by OPM standards. Garou is a man who has always felt love for the bad guy, he looks to the monsters as inspirations, as the misunderstood and the victimized by those claiming to be heroes. He's trained by an S-Class hero, and has developed into a being of unimaginable power in the pursuit of his dream. Very much a true foil to Saitama, who looked to heroes in comics as inspirations, as the righteous and unshakably moral, self-taught through and through and developed into a being of unimaginable power in the pursuit of HIS dream. Garou is, in this way, a reflection of Saitama, the Tails to Saitama's Heads, the dark to his light.

Boros on the other hand is an alien, forced to become strong by his homeworld's unforgiving conditions, developing a level of power necessary to survive and then some, and on realizing he was far too powerful for his own good, he sought purpose, meaning, and when he heard he may find a worthy opponent, he did everything he could to achieve that future, to realize his dream of facing a foe that would give him a true challenge.

So what are the similarities we can identify? Notably unique circumstances even by OPM standards, sharing strong similarities to Saitama's desires or dreams (Garou dreaming of becoming the greatest Monster vs Saitama dreaming of becoming the greatest Hero, Boros feeling lost in life and seeking a worthy foe vs Saitama feeling bored with living and wishing for the sensation of a real fight again), and the desire for a serious and ultimate battle.

Goku fits ALL of these conditions. He is an alien sent to Earth for his protection, grew up in hostile conditions (surviving on his own for most of his childhood, constant battles with Nation-level threats throughout his teen years, constant battles with world or universe-level threats throughout his adulthood), trained extensively until he was the best of the best, has the ultimate dream of a truly satisfying battle (a dream he routinely seeks out by facing down powerful foes), and being entirely bored with mundane life because there's absolutely no challenge to it, not to mention the fact he has the ultimate dream of becoming the strongest, something he shares with Saitama's pre-OPM self.

Since Goku fits ALL the conditions needed to make this battle exempt from the gag, we will NOT be considering it, as Saitama is not a True Gag Character, and Goku fitting conditions for nullifying it means we can assume actual power limits and such.

So let's look at feats of power. Saitama's Serious Side Hop technique allowed him to create AT LEAST 60 after-images (based on the manga panel) which, when compared with Sonic's 4, means Saitama was moving 15x faster than Sonic in that moment (bare minimum). An afterimage like that is created by moving at least 572mph, stopping in each position for at least 1/255th of a second (any less and the human eye can't pick up on it), so by moving from position A to B for 1/255th of a second and back to A, going 572mph between the two, you create the afterimage.

Sonic creates 4 simultaneously, meaning he needs to move to 3 positions and then back to starting position, or go from A to B, B to A, A to C, C to A, A to D, and repeat.

This means Sonic, to move into each of these positions in less than 1/255th of a second, would need to be moving ~4x faster than the speed for one afterimage. That puts him as moving at 2,228mph while creating those 4 afterimages. Given he is capable of Mach 5 speeds (he's said to be hypersonic) this feat is easy for him, as Mach 5 is 3,805mph. I assume, just as it's easier to move at top speed in a straight line than at sharp turns for a normal person, it's likely more difficult to create such consistent afterimages and so the difficulty that makes it his best attack is from the technique and reaction involved, not the speed itself.

In any case, if Saitama made at least 60 afterimages, putting him at 15x faster than Sonic's speed while creating 4, that puts Saitama's speed at 33,420mph just to account for the 60 we can count in the manga panel. This means 33,420 is the MINIMUM speed we can assume for Saitama's max ability. To be generous, given he wasn't winded after doing that and given he was able to react incredibly easily to the near-instant directional changes, I'll be kind and put his maximum speed at 10,000x this number.

That puts Saitama's speed at 334,200,000mph, or 49.8% the speed of light. We'll be kind again and say 50% the speed of light, round up that last .2%

So we have a speed value for Saitama. Now what about Goku? Well, let's look at Goku on Namek, for a moment. Base form Goku, at the start of his fight against Freeza. Goku, BEFORE his super saiyan transformation, was moving at 3.26 (we'll round down to 3) times the speed of light. How do I get this number? Buckle up, it's involved.

The Namekian ship Bulma, Krillin, and Gohan took to get to Namek made it from Earth to Jupiter in "seconds". That means less than a minute, so we'll say it took them 1 minute just to lowball it and to have a solid starting number. Jupiter, when the two planets are at their closest to each other (assuming shorter distance for slower speed, another lowball), is 365,000,000 miles from Earth. This means the Namekian ship moved 365mil miles in 1 minute.

That puts the Namekian ship at a speed of 21.9 billion miles per hour. They made it to Namek in 30 days of travel. The ship Goku took to Namek made the trip in 5 days. That means Goku's ship is 6 times faster than the Namekian ship. Don't worry, the ship speed DOES matter in this, I promise you.

So Goku's ship moves at 131,400,000,000mph. That's 131 billion, 400 million miles per hour. Or 195x the speed of light.

Why does the ship speed matter so much, you might ask?

Because King Kai could visually keep up with the ship. He was able to track Goku's progress with ease, and could see his ships movements without problems. This means King Kai's eyes and brain are capable of perceiving and processing things that move at 195x the speed of light.

Why does that matter? Because Super Saiyan is canonically a 50x multiplier to ALL base ability. Strength, speed, durability, etc.

And Goku, in Super Saiyan, was moving so fast King Kai stated he could no longer keep up. King Kai, capable of seeing and processing the input of vision on a ship moving 195x the speed of light, could not see or process the input of vision on Super Saiyan Goku.

We'll lowball it, and say Goku only needed to move 1 mph faster than 195x the speed of light for King Kai to lose track of him. So whatever value we get, we'll add 1mph to for Goku's base form speed.

So 195x the speed of light +1mph. 195/50=3.9x the speed of light. That's 2,616,900,000mph, adding in the extra mph makes it 2,616,900,001mph. So Base Form Goku moves at ~3.9x the speed of light, ON NAMEK. Super Saiyan is a 50x multiplier, putting him at ~195x the speed of light. Super Saiyan 2 is a 100x multiplier to Base, so 390x the speed of light. Super Saiyan 3 is a 400x multiplier, so 1,560x the speed of light. Super Saiyan God is a 20,000 multiplier so 78,000x the speed of light. Super Saiyan Blue is a 1 million times multiplier, so 3,900,000x the speed of light. And lastly, Mastered Ultra Instinct is a 300 billion times multipler, so 1.17 trillion times the speed of light.

Why did I bother going through all those multipliers? He wins in Base as of Namek saga lol. Anyway, continuing on to strength now that we've established Base Goku on Namek could move 3.9x faster than the Speed of Light while Saitama could only move at 0.5x the Speed of Light.

Strength. Okay. This one is harder to gauge, but we CAN gauge it. We'll go in terms of level of damage, so human level (would be on-par or less than peak human ability), town level (small towns), city level (large cities), nation level (an entire nation, less than a continent), continent level (one or more nations that span an entire continent), world-surface level (the surface of an Earth-sized planet), Planetary (capable of destroying an entire Earth-sized planet), Solar (capable of destroying a solar system), Galactic (capable of destroying a galaxy), multi-galactic (capable of destroying many galaxies), Universal (capable of destroying an entire universe), Multiversal (capable of destroying multiple universes).

We'll start with Goku this time. Goku's punches are, as of the Battle of Gods arc, strong enough to match Beerus perfectly to nullify the shockwaves of Beerus' attacks. Mind you, the mere shockwave of Beerus' attacks are enough to rip and tear the fabric of the universe itself, as stated by Elder Kai. This puts Goku's punches as being powerful enough to tear the fabric of the universe in when he first obtained Super Saiyan God. Why does this matter for Base Goku? Because Base Goku retained his SSJG power, as stated by Beerus.

So Goku in Base, post-battle of gods, is physically capable of punches that can tear apart the universe from the aftershocks alone. This is important to note because Elder Kai could physically feel the shockwaves from the World of the Kais. This makes Goku Universe-level in strength. This means Goku, post-BoG, in Super Saiyan is 50x stronger than what's needed for Universal, while Goku, as of current manga canon (assuming he didn't actually get any stronger since BoG and is simply more powerful due to new transformations) is capable of a form (Mastered Ultra Instinct) that puts him 300 billion times stronger than minimum Universe level strength.

And Saitama? Where does he fit here? Well, I thought this gap would be bigger honestly? But after researching, it seems the gap isn't all that big. Saitama has, canonically, with a Serious Punch, snuffed out an entire cylinder of stars and presumably every planet, moon, asteroid, and more, at a distance surpassing that of our solar system, and with a diameter surpassing it as well. This puts Saitama's power (if we lowball it MASSIVELY) at Solar. He could, in a single punch, destroy our entire solar system, and he wouldn't even need to be serious to do it. It's worth noting this is coupled with Garou's own Saitama-level Serious Punch, so we can assume this level of power is double Saitama's own.

So how do we determine the specifics? Well, he cleared an area large enough to cover, presumably, half the area of stars destroyed in the path of his and Garou's serious punches.

Through future revelations in the series we learn they didn't "destroy" every star in that path, but likely only several were destroyed, and possibly a galaxy, while the remainder of the void left behind was from the shockwave forcing every other star within range into a new position, creating a void in space that all stars had been moved from, save the few that were in the DIRECT path of their attack.

Another theory is that the Serious Punch^2 simply distorted the photons in the area, resulting in the appearance of a massive void, and this theory is based on the angles in the manga and comments made by other characters that paint Earth as the only thing in real danger from the power of the attack.

To be fair to Saitama, where we would lowball Goku, we'll highball Saitama, and say the Serious Punch^2 outright destroyed every star in the area. That level of power would, naturally, have shockwaves that push nearby stars out of the way AND distort photons in the area, resulting in a massive cone of destruction surrounded by a large cylinder of force.

This puts Saitama at, quite easily, multi-galactic level of strength.

But why did I say this gap isn't as big as I expected? One simple thing. Saitama has canonically punched his way into a different dimension in the manga. That means he's capable of brute-forcing his way out of the bounds of his universe. He is capable of physically destroying the fabric of the universe.

Meaning Saitama's strength is, bare minimum, Universal in close proximity. That puts him, strength-wise, on par with Goku, who through training has become stronger than Super Buu (who was so strong he could shout his way out of the Hyperbolic Time Chamber, a dimension separate from our own), meaning Goku is also Universal in close proximity.

So...while I expected Saitama to be ~Planetary, MAYBE he'd be Solar at most...Research indicates he's actually Universal, or near-Universal, meaning the fight may not be too far a gap after all.

Goku may have Saitama beat on speed (given recent manga events in OPM, I'm willing to allow that Saitama is faster than light speed, but Goku having as many forms as he does (Kaioken, which he can combine with other forms and can hit a multiplier of x100 on top of whatever power he currently has, SSJ1-3, SSJG, SSJB, MUI) means even if Saitama matches Base Goku, he's likely not going to stand up to his stronger forms).

But on strength, I'd wager they're close enough for this fight to be one hell of a battle.

What about Durability? After all, all the strength in the world won't save you if you're as easy to kill as a simple bullet to the head, right?

Goku has withstood universe-ripping punches (from Beerus, the God of Destruction, and based on comments in the manga he's one of the stronger Gods of Destruction too), dimension-tearing attacks (from Goku Black, pre-Fusion), energy blasts that even the Gods of Destruction were nervous of (from Jiren during the Tournament of Power), and he survived multiple blasts from Granolah post-wish buff, who was renowned for his sniping power pre-wish, and post-wish was as powerful as he would be if he had spent every single second of the next 147 years training non-stop with the absolute healthiest amount of rest and physical care, making him, presently, as powerful as he would be at the END of that time, with the price paid being that he only had 3 years to live as he lost 1 year of his lifespan for each power boost.

It was also clear that Granolah was the strongest in the universe...at the time of his wish. Goku and Vegeta, who were already on their way, were not as powerful as Granolah even with their transformations. They became stronger during their fight with him, and stronger still during their fight with Gas (who was more powerful than Granolah after Gas transformed and mastered his transformation).

So we can safely assume Goku is Multiversal in Durability, as he himself was able to output Universal damage with each punch, and he was able to survive hits from beings drastically stronger than himself.

What about Saitama? Well, Saitama was able to survive the force of the Serious Punch^2 and he was able to casually bust his way into another dimension. So his Serious Punch, if he wanted it to, could easily destroy the barrier between universes or dimensions.

And given he survived the force of two of them impacting each other, I would put Saitama at, bare minimum, Universe-level durability. But given he was able to survive prolonged battle against Garou, who is a Power Mimic and has shown Saitama-level strength, we can safely assume Saitama is BEYOND Universal-level durability, and so we can put him right there with Goku at Multiversal durability.

So what do we have so far?

Goku has speed equal to, in Base Form, 3.9x lightspeed, and 1.17 trillion times lightspeed in his most powerful form.

Goku has Universal level strength in Base Form, 300 billion times that in his most powerful form.

Goku has Universal durability in Base Form, Multiversal durability in his most powerful form (300 billion times his Base Form's durability).

Saitama has speed equal to, at minimum, 0.5x lightspeed, and at maximum, if we highball it, 2x lightspeed.

Saitama has Universal strength.

Saitama has Universal durability at minimum, and Multiversal durability at maximum.

At this point, I'm convinced the speed difference between Base Goku and Saitama means nothing. Saitama's durability means even with Base Goku moving at his top speed, his impacts won't be enough to beat Saitama. At top speed Base Goku may be putting out Universal damage, but he's not putting out enough to actually BEAT Saitama. Only injure.

Making me rethink my "Goku wins in Base lol" claim earlier, how dare you!

Anyway, at this point, Goku would HAVE to transform to beat Saitama. His ability to sense power and Saitama's evident inability to suppress it (as evidenced by multiple characters sensing his ungodly power even while Saitama is completely relaxed) would mean Goku would know, right away, he needs to transform for the fight.

Saitama's durability means Goku would likely need Super Saiyan 2 or 3, or, more likely, SSJG. Super Saiyan God's multiplier to Granolah-arc Goku, after all of his training with Whis and Vegeta, would most likely be enough to beat Saitama. And given SSJG is enough to "most likely" beat him, then Super Saiyan Blue (aka Super Saiyan God Super Saiyan, the form above SSJG) is surely enough, and Mastered Ultra Instinct (a form drastically more powerful than SSJB) is absolutely more than enough to beat Saitama.

And given Goku's mastery over the Kaioken technique, and he's been shown to enter Kaioken x 20 while in Super Saiyan Blue for fair amounts of time as of the Moro saga, meaning even if SSB wasn't enough, given MUI is overkill, it's possible SSB x10 or x20 would be.

The point being, Goku wins this fight due to a combination of technique, experience, and power from his transformations. Given Goku is faster than Saitama and would sense his power as Saitama doesn't know how to suppress it, nothing Saitama could do would be a surprise attack to Goku, meaning Goku would have ample opportunity to react to everything Saitama does.

And given the relatively similar strengths the two bear, Goku would recognize he needs to transform to beat Saitama's output.

And given Saitama's greater durability than Base Goku, and greater durability than even what Saitama himself can put out, Goku would see he needs to transform to have enough of his own output to beat Saitama's durability.

Conclusion: Goku would absolutely win this fight, BUT...I'll give Saitama credit where it's due.

Out of everyone on the entire list, Saitama is the fairest matchup here, and the one most likely to give Goku a truly satisfying fight, given it would be a battle on par with those Goku has enjoyed most.

Kingdom Hearts Mickey

K.H. Mickey has a clear power limit and ability set. He is not strong enough, fast enough, smart enough, or durable enough to beat Goku, but he is just enough of a threat for Goku to actually put his guard up, which is why K.H. Mickey would lose; Goku would see it as a fight, unlike with Kevin.

Crash Bandicoot

Crash isn't nearly powerful enough to be a threat to Goku, but he IS insane enough to push Goku to hostility. Goku would feel the need to put effort into getting him away and that is his downfall.

Hatsune Miku

Goku would assume she is a Red Ribbon android and fight her on assumption she's trying to kill him or bring harm to Earth. He would hit her full force expecting her to tank it and she would keel over dead instantly.

Wario

Everything he could possibly do, the Red Ribbon Army has tried and done better, and they've never beaten Goku. Neither would he.

Sans

Lost to a child with slightly above average human determination, and standard human strength and speed. He does not beat Goku.

And just because you specifically told me not to @ you, have this :)

@that-one-enby-onyx

[veren-cos]

Hi!! How are you?? :)

I'm not sure if you're still up for taking requests, but I'm gonna try anyway!

This is actually the first time I've gotten myself to read Stardew Valley stuff, I was looking for content and came across one of your posts (the comforting after a rough day one) and I just couldn't help but keep reading. I love the few I've read so far honestly!!

I have a very specific topic in mind for the bachelors that you could use for headcanons; it would involve the farmer being asexual, the bachelors' reaction to that knowledge and how they'd act towards the farmer from that point on in their relationship (already dating), since I know that some people actually feel weird about it after finding out (needless to say that I'm in fact ace myself)

You can decline the request if you're not open to that at the moment but most importantly if the topic makes you uncomfortable in any kind of way, I'll understand and accept it right away :)

I'm a really awkward person so since I don't really know what else to say, thank you so much (even for reading this) and keep up the good work!! <3

Coming out as asexual to the bachelors

These are assuming you are already in a (relatively new) relationship.

These are also more for sex repulsed aces. Not really a tw, but Alex's section is a little more angsty than the rest?

Sam

• Would not have heard of asexuality at all.

• He honestly gets confused for a second and thinks that you didn't like him at all.

• But once you explain that you just don't want the sexual aspect of a relationship, he is actually pretty chill about it.

• He wasn't expecting anything to happen with you for a while because you'd just started dating.

• So it really took the pressure off of him because he was really nervous.

• Nothing really changes with him! He would probably just show you a lot of nonsexual physical affection. Like a lot more than before.

• There is no pressure to go any further. I could honestly see this guy being ace himself, but regardless he loves you.

Sebastian

• Sebastian would probably be like. One of maybe 3 Bachelors who have heard of asexuality.

• And he would by no means have any problems with it!

• He would just love on you by sososoo many cuddles.

• He likes being intimate with you physically, and doesn't want to pressure you at all.

• He understands that you definitely still like him, you just don't feel the sexual attraction or want to have sex.

• Like Sam, I could see Sebastian being ace. He just wants to be with you, in whatever ways you want to be with him. <3

Alex

• Okay so I love Alex. And I like to think of him as accepting. But he basically canonically has internalized homophobia.

• I don't think he would of even heard of asexuality.

• It truly depends on how much character development he has had.

• So basically. He would either be like chill about it, or break up with you (and not because he doesn't like you! That's important!)

•

• If he was chill, I think the relationship would progress just as normal!

• He would just hold your hand, and give you so many kisses.

• He would try and learn ways to show you affection without crossing your boundaries.

•

• But if his character hasn't developed, I could see him breaking up with you. And it's not because he wouldn't like you anymore. Please don't get him wrong, he really likes you.

• He just seems like the kind of guy where sex would be the epitome of intimacy. I don't think he would know what to do, and he doesn't want to pressure you.

• If he hasn't had character development, he would want to go back to just being friends. He wouldn't know how to express how he feels about you in a non sexual way.

• Alex would, however, much come to regret that. So once he has a grasp on his own emotional needs and learns more about emotional intimacy, give a relationship with him another try. He will be great :)

Harvey

• Harvey!!

• Harvey would be so respectful.

• He probably wouldn't have heard of it before? Not in like a sexuality way anyways. Maybe like in the science way tho. So he can guess.

• He wouldn't want to push you, and he hadn't made any sexual advances in the first place so it's not like there would be any backtracking.

• He loves you for who you are, not what you can do for him.

• Once you explain what it is, or for your specifically what it is, he just hugs you and tells you he loves you.

• Harvey is a sweetie.

Shane

• Shane wouldn't care.

• It's your business lol

• I couldn't see him being ace himself, but I could see him having a really low sex drive.

• Depression can often decrease a sex drive if ya didn't know 🤠

• Soo yeah, it wouldn't be a big deal to him :)

• He, like Sebastian, would just give you a lot more cuddles instead! Shane just likes to be close to you

Elliott

• Elliott would be so amazing with it?

• He just wants to love you the way you want to be loved. And if that means never having sex? He us okay with that.

• He was already the king of nonsexual intimacy.

• He would love taking baths with you, washing your hair, etc.

• He wants to make sure you know he loves you, and is incredible respectful of your boundaries and sexuality.

An* To my ace readers ilysm!! Aroace-spec identities are so underrepresented. So I was so happy to write about it! I love giving fiction for underrepresented subjects. Hope you enjoyed!

And to you who requested thjs, ty! I'm glad you like my writing, that means a lot to me :) I'm always open for requests, they just take me a while- so feel free to send more if you'd like :3

If something about this fic is iffy or weird, please let me know. I'm not ace (I don't think? But that's a different topic lol) so I don't know if I wrote things right. I'm mostly iffy about Alex's response. So if you have a suggestion please do lmk. 🤠👍

Masterlist

[fanficsforheartandsoul]

Happy Ending | Simon "Ghost" Riley x Fem!Reader

Note: This has been ghosting around in my head for some time now because of the song "Wallpaper" by Megan Cromwell. I noticed that whenever I don't have the pressure of a request in the back of my head for a story it's much easier to write. That's why I wrote this rather easily and quickly. I just wanted to post something again lol. So yeah, have some good ol' super dramatic angst. I'll be more active again hopefully.

Fandom: Call of Duty: Modern Warfare II (2022)

Warnings: Angst, Heartbreak, Unrequited Love, Mentions of NSFW Stuff, Trauma, Reader has some Issues

Summary: Ghost wants a happy ending but not with you.

Word Count: ~2k

If you want to be tagged in my stories send me a pm with the fandom/character name! Or comment on the fic :)

Masterlist

Call sign: Vigil

"We can't do this anymore."

You had known from the start that sleeping with him was a bad idea.

Generally, people advise you against sleeping with a co-worker. Because it makes things complicated. Even more complicated when you're both in the military.

Because technically you’re not allowed to fuck, your actions could be clouded by emotions, potentially risking not only your but the lives of your fellow operators as well. But that little clause in your contract was printed in that tiny font, and so you decided to ignore it.

It didn’t stop you from getting involved with your lieutenant. You were never a big fan of rules after all. Your rank as a sergeant after so many years of service in the military said enough about that.

But at the start, you truly believed that a physical relationship with him wouldn't cause trouble to you or anyone else.

You thought you had it under control. At least in the beginning.

Yes, you had been attracted to him since your first meeting when you had signed your contract with Taskforce 141. Mysterious men were your thing, and he embodied such a man with his skull mask.

So yeah, you did allow yourself to daydream about him, and have some dirty thoughts every once in a while. It wasn’t like you were the only one.

You were attracted to him and you knew he was attracted to you. It was mutual and actually pretty obvious.

You could feel his searing gaze on you just a few days after you had joined the taskforce; the way his eyes trailed up and down your body. The looks he gave you were charged with want.

But attraction doesn't necessarily lead to a romantic relationship, right?

He was a good-looking man in your opinion; tall, rugged, buff, with muscles and fat in the right places, just the way you liked it.

His face couldn't be considered conveniently attractive yet that made it so much better for you. The arch in his brows, the dark eyebags, the scars on his cheeks, his cheekbones. He was your type. And his rough appearance fuelled the fire in your lower stomach and your imagination.

What was the harm in joining him in the sheets and having a bit of fun? It wasn't like you loved him.

That’s what you had asked yourself.

It was much better to get rid of your pent-up frustration with him instead of a toy or a rare one-night stand when you were off-duty.  And damn, was he good in bed.

Rough, fast-paced, keen to try out every possible position, and not shy of pleasing you. You could've expected it. He was a man who wasn't afraid to get down and dirty. Dirt, blood, sweat, and other fluids... It didn't matter.

Short summary: It was pure ecstasy every time.

You two had lots of fun together in lots of different positions and locations, and that was all it was. Just some fun.

No strings attached, as you both declared at the start. Just fuckbuddies.

"I'm not a relationship kind of guy, Y/N" he had told you after you had spent your first time together.

You had snorted because shit, you weren't either. Both of you were too broken and bruised by the baggage of your pasts. Your traumas would probably weigh you both down in the long run. So you were fine with the line he had drawn between you.

It was okay. No emotions, no obligations, no lovey-dovey shit, just a means to an end.

Just a meeting in your room after a mission, a phone call on your days off, then a quick meet-up in a hotel. Just pleasure. Not love.

Until it wasn't just that anymore.

You two had settled into a routine where he would join you in your room late every other night.

After you had pleasured each other enough, he would leave soon after, and somehow - with time, you began to miss the warmth next to you on your bed.

The feeling came slowly creeping, and it took you by surprise.

You never asked him to stay; you didn't dare cross the line. To ask for a bit more affection. But you wished.

That he held you just a bit closer during the act. That he remained next to you just for a few more minutes after it. That he kissed your scars, your lips. That he touched you as if you were something, someone precious to him. Someone important.

Sure, you liked it when he treated you like an unbreakable object when his grip left bruises on your body - in a way, they satisfied your need for more. They marked you as his. But just for once, you wanted to be treasured by him. To feel that you meant something more to him.

You didn't know when your feelings for him had turned into a fluttering mess in your chest. He wasn't just a means to an end anymore. You valued him. Not just as a soldier who had your back. Not just as a friend. But as a man, a partner. A man you wanted close to you. For the rest of your life. No matter how long that would be.

Because Simon had done something no one else had been able to do before.

He made you wish. For a future. A future with him.

He made you wish to be better, to be a little less broken. To pick up the pieces that had once made you whole. You wanted to be better. A better version of yourself. For him. To have a chance to be truly happy. To get that fairy tale life others dream about – you once had dreamed about when you were younger, your shoulders lighter.

His attention made you excel, it made you stronger, faster, harder. You were just better when he was around. A better soldier, a better woman, a happier person.

And you thought, no, believed that he understood that. That he helped you to be better. That you needed him. Not just in your bed, but by your side. As your other half.

You both were people of few words, so you thought that through your actions, your eagerness during missions, and your gentle touches during your time together, you conveyed all these feelings. That he got it, saw how you felt about him.

But you never spelled it out. Never said; I've come to love you.

Just let these feelings simmer under your heart, hoping that one day he'd get what you felt for him.

"We can't do this anymore, Vigil."

You'd love to say that it came as a surprise when he, one day, called you to meet up and told you these words.

But you knew subconsciously. Felt it. Long before he actually said the words, they were coming.

His calls had been less frequent, his visits rarer, and to your confusion, his eyes began to look different whenever you saw him. They looked clearer, and happier.

Only after you saw him at the party after your successful operation in Chicago did you understand. He did look happier.

But not because of you.

And only then did you realize that your brain had played a trick on you. You were so consumed by your feelings for him that you didn't realize how big the rift between you two had gotten.

He laughed.

Simon Riley laughed heartily for the first time since you knew him. Not just one of his usual chuckles that he reserved for your or Soap's jokes.

No, true deep laughter that came from deep within his chest.

And all because of a joke that the woman next to him had told him.

You didn't know her; you had never even seen her face before. She was a complete stranger to you, and yet Ghost rested a hand on her hip as if she belonged to him. As if she was his fucking girlfriend.

Soap looked at you, then who you were staring at.

"That's Ghost's new lass, I heard. Can't believe that guy found someone before us, eh? Surprised me too, I tell ya."

His words were like poison, and you tasted bile in your mouth. So much made sense to you now.

"Why not? I thought you liked it?! I enjoy it every time."

"That's not relevant anymore. I'm just telling you, Y/N. This thing is done. I won't come here anymore."

"But-"

"Let's just forget this happened, alright?"

"...."

"Okay."

You hadn't even been able to argue. Or tell him your feelings.

After all, you were the one who said you could never be in a relationship with him or fall in love with him. It was pathetic to get back on your words and admit it in front of him.

So you just shut your mouth and accepted his words for the time being.

A tiny voice in your head whispered that you could tell him your feelings later when he calmed down a bit. When he started to miss you.

You knew the whole situation with Hassan was getting to him and the others, so you cut him some slack. You thought he would change his mind. Believed it. Blindly.

But now, here you were. Looking like a fool. Feeling like one. Being one.

And the thing was, you couldn't even say anything to him.

He was the one who made you happy. Who made you want to be better. Less traumatized, more whole.

You could see in his eyes that she was that to him. Not you.

So, what right did you have to intervene?

You wanted him to be happy, after all.

How could you deny him that? You both had gone through so much.

She seemed to be the complete opposite of you. She basically glowed in the room, her smile radiant, and her aura was light as if the world had blessed her to never know hardship.

Her frame was soft, and her skin unblemished, untainted by the cruelty and darkness that existed in the world.

You couldn't help but compare yourself to her.

Your cracks, the marks of your trauma, made themselves known through various scars on your body. Your hands were rough, covered with old blisters; so unlike hers, and you were all jagged and sharp edges, while she looked so cute and bubbly.

You could see her appeal, and it hurt to think that way, but in another world, in different circumstances, you could see her as your potential friend. She just had the appearance and aura of someone who people gravitated toward. A soothing soul.

In that sense, you could understand Ghost. Why he searched her side. But you fucking hated it.

As lovely as she seemed, right now in this bar; you couldn't help but despise her.

She took him from you.

A voice whispered in your head. The ugliness of that thought made you want to throw up, because didn't it prove that you weren't completely right in the head?

Ghost wasn't your property. He had his own free will, and just because she appeared didn't mean she stole him away.

After all, he never belonged to you anyway.

This was probably why Ghost didn't chose you, you thought to yourself. Your ugly jealousy and possessiveness were rearing their heads.

I wouldn't choose myself either.

You felt like crying, but you couldn't even do that.

You hadn't cried for years now, and although the pain in your heart was worse than any of the bullet wounds you had received during your career, not a single tear welled up in your eyes.

You were truly broken. And the man who could fix you wasn't at your side. He would never be.

You looked at the two of them once more. An ugly thing clawed at your chest, begging to get out. Your vision turned red. You clenched your fists.

You had to get out of here. Now.

"You okay, Vigil?" Soap asked next to you, noticing that you seemed a bit off.

"Yeah. I just- think I didn't turn my stove off. I got to go."

You mumbled before you turned around and hurried to the exit of the bar. Soap tried to protest, but you were out the door before he could even finish his sentence:

"But you just arrived- Damn... off she goes."

He sighed and looked towards that woman and Ghost. They made eye contact. As if Simon was already looking at him. Or you.

[mhsdatgo]

The Helaemonds/Helaegons need to calm down.

Don't get me wrong, it's always refreshing to see some people fill in the gaps of a basically untold relationship such as the one between the green kids in general, but this goes beyond basic obsessive shippy discourse. Leave this poor girl alone. Why's there an obsession with having her be romantically paired with her brothers, one worse than the other?

I understand the show has basically shown so little of her to the point where we didn’t even have a coronation for her on screen, so therefore you can self insert through her and have fun with headcanons regarding Aegon and Aemond. Really, I'm not faulting their girlies, you can be head over heels for whatever actor in character you want (unless you put them on pedestals and start acting like they did nothing wrong and pounce on whoever contests them, THEN we have a problem) but I assure you, Helaena would barely want anything to do with either of them.

Aegon is a sex pest turned sex offender, a drunkard and a neglectful father and husband at best. Her infamous toast in ep.8 has us believing that he cannot for the life of him interact with her unless he's horny drunk or that he forces himself on her at worst.* He was ready to leave them all in ep.9 before he was caught. Even the book is subtle about their relationship: all we know of them is that they sleep in shared chambers, that she was someone important and reliable in Aegon's council before B&C, and that he named her and Alicent the true Queens of his reign.

*(⚠️TW: PERSONAL OPINION⚠️ I'm not saying this last one isn't a possibility but it's sill outrageous for the way people speak about Helaena in defence of this "claim". No, she wouldn't joke about her own r*pe in front of the whole table full of people she doesn't know and right beside her abuser, and despite the hour-long metas I've read about how she's basically "too sheltered" to know what r*pe even means, I assure you she's a high-functioning autistic, not 5 years old. She can understand it perfectly.)

Helaemond is a pure show invention, I honestly wasn't expecting this many people to go up this kind of train. They barely interact, and most of the time it's Aemond saying he'd "perform his duty" should Helaena ever be wed to him, or that stare in ep.9 when he enters her chambers toiling after Alicent. It's, as always, the Aemond girlies who think poor Helaena would live her best life with Aemond, or that they are already romantically involved behind the scenes. The amount of "if one possesses a thing, the other will take it away" edits from people that are FULLY CONVINCED "the thing" is Helaena and that "the one" and "the other" are Aemond and Aegon respectively is honestly concerning.

Fics that are all about Aegon doing the worst and unspeakable things to her so "Aemond can come and save her" are y'all okay? Out of all people, HE has to save her?

Babes, I'm sorry to break your bubble, but this isn't Aegon IV/Naerys/Aemon on steroids. Aemond didn't give two shits about Helaena. No, he wasn't jealous when Jace came to ask her to dance, he just wanted to stir some shit. If we talk about the books, he didn't fucking hesitate to leave King's Landing, his sister, his mother and whatever he was doing for the Riverlands the second he heard that Daemon was there. And he brought the only means of defence they had with him. If he knew how important Vhagar was for the city's defence, he's evil, if he didn't realize it, he's dumb as fuck. Which one is it, Aemond girlies?

People beat each other to the curb about Jaehaerys, Jaehaera and Maelor's paternity like it's the Wars of The Roses. They put Helaena and Alys against the other like they have personal beef with one of them.

Stop mentioning this sweetheart only when it's about praising or hating one of her brothers. No, it's not the only option you have because she's underdeveloped as a character. There's actually another one.

LEAVE HER THE FUCK ALONE.

[futuremrsdrcullen]

This love Came Back To Me - Chapter 3

It's Finally Here!!!! I can not apologize enough for how long this took to get out. But here it is! I hope you love it.

Summery- I was completely overwhelmed with this looming dread. This wasn’t just about Bella anymore. Though that was bad enough, this involved me now. Despite how often Edward disregarded my safety and despite how desperately Carlisle tried to protect me from this;

My life was in danger.

It was never going to end was it?

Word Count- 12,927

Warnings- Vampires- and all the things that go along with vampires (blood, biting, age gaps, sparkling, dramatics) a lot more swearing this time. There's some minor injuries and some very minor character death. mentions of vomiting (2 actual vomits, due to injury) Battle, fighting and planning. It's all very happy I promise.

There is no imprinting and there never will be <3

Notes from me- My name is Claire and this! This is finally my third love child. I started writing this on the 27th of July in 2022. I lost hope a few times but it's here and I hope you love it. Thank you, so so much for staying with me.

As always, I DO NOT own The Twilight Saga. All rights go directly to S. Meyer.

Read on AO3 <3

Masterlist <3 (Ch 1, Ch 2)

I love you <3 Thank you for still being here <3

“I think I've upset Bella…” Alice said before she threw herself onto the couch next to Carlisle. She had just gotten home from school and normally she came in and gossiped about her classmates, but she was clearly wrapped up in this situation with Bella. 

I let Carlisle take the lead, though we both had to hold back a laugh. “Why would you think that?”

She sighed. “Well she didn't say she was mad, but I told her about the graduation party and she didn't really fight back? And then I thanked her for the gift she's going to buy me, but she hardly seemed phased. And when we started to drive her home she asked what day it was and when I said the fourth that's when she got all weird.”

The date made me freeze too. I turned sharply to face her. “Today is June fourth? You're sure?”

“Not you too…” She groaned. “What is wrong with the date?”

I took a deep breath. “I'm sure it just took her by surprise. Its- it's really close to graduation.” I had to force the answer out. Carlisle kissed my hair. “I didn't realize it was so soon either…”

I was only guaranteed ten more human days with my sister. Only ten days until everything changed and I didn't know when I'd see her again- or any of them for that matter. Carlisle promised to stay with me, of course, but the others would probably leave with Bella and Edward. I didn’t know if I would see them again until I was ready to become a vampire too. 

I shivered and leaned into Carlisle.

“I don't see her changing right away, Y/n” Her face softened as she saw how tense I’d gotten. “She may be determined, but Edward won't let anyone change her until everything in Seattle is settled and even then there’s still the intruder to worry about.”

“We don't know how long that will take. We still don't even know what's going on.” I pointed out.

“That's her point, Dove. She still has plenty of time.” He whispered.

I tried my best to not roll my eyes. Bella was going to push every one of their buttons until she got her way- rogue vampires be damned. I couldn't hope for the best when Bella was involved; I knew I had to prepare for the worst.

“Honestly, I'm just glad she didn't throw a fit about the party. I've planned it all perfectly.” Alice moved on from my worries.

I sighed but didn’t disrupt her joy, “How many people are you expecting?”

She beamed, “Almost seventy, currently.” It was Carlisle's turn to tense, but Alice casually pressed on. “I invited everyone from our graduating class, and Bella's family. Nearly everyone agreed to come too.”

“Seventy? Bella is okay with seventy people being here? Will Jasper be okay?”

“Jasper is around more people at school everyday. He'll be fine.” She brushed me off but Jasper did give me a soft smile in thanks from his side of the room. Alice continued, “Bella doesn't exactly know how many people are coming…”

Carlisle and I couldn't contain our laughter. “That's why she didn't freak out.”

“She. Will. Get. Over. It. I'm excited. This party will be perfect.” Without another word, she got up and floated up the stairs. 

I turned so I could hide my face in Carlisle's chest, though it barely muffled my laughter. He still laughed too and soothed my hair. 

“This is a mess…” As our laughter died my thoughts went back to the beginning of the conversation. It was overwhelming. Between moving in with Carlisle and Bella's graduation looming, and whatever was going on in Seattle, at times it felt like the walls were closing in. 

But Carlisle held me close and kissed my forehead and whispered, “It will be alright. We'll get through this together.” And I believed him. 

~~

The Seattle News had been playing on the TV for over an hour now, though it was too low for me to make out what was going on. Carlisle filled me in occasionally with a simplified version. I knew he was sugar-coating it. I wasn’t sure I even wanted to know the truth. They discussed things from the news in hushed voices, but nothing changed enough to please Alice and whatever she was seeing in her visions. Mornings like this often gave me more anxiety than clarity.

Still, Jasper calmed the rest of them and Emmett tried to distract me. Somehow, he managed to get Rosalie to play a game of Uno with us; she was winning.

They turned to face the door seconds before it opened. Carlisle whispered to me that it was just Bella and Edward so I could relax a bit. I was always more at ease when we were all together, but I had to pick on Bella just a bit.

“Shouldn’t you be in class?” I called over my shoulder as they walked into the living room. 

She smiled at me. “Ditching is healthy.”

It made Emmett laugh, “She can just catch this lesson next time.” Which made both Edward and Rosalie roll their eyes. He completely missed it or chose to ignore them. “Want us to deal you in?”

“Rose is winning.”

Bella sat next to me and shook her head, as Edward walked over and handed Carlisle a piece of paper. 

“Did you see that they’re considering a serial killer now?” he asked.

Carlisle sighed. “They’ve had two specialists debating the possibility on CNN all morning.”

“We can’t let this go on”

“Let's go now, I’m dead bored.” Emmett dropped his cards and walked over to Edward. Rosalie hissed at his word exactly as I gasped. The rest of the room was unphased. Emmett muttered something under his breath

But Edward agreed, “We’ll have to go sometime.”

The alternative was letting the Volturi handle it, and none of us wanted that. I also knew how heavily the death count was weighing on Carlisle. They would act and they would probably do it soon. I shivered.

“I know,” Carlisle sighed.

“Oh,” Edward said sharply, turning his head slightly to look at Jasper. “I didn’t think of that. I see. You’re right, that has to be it. Well, that changes everything.”

The entire room froze, staring at Edward like he’d sprouted a second head. I only tore my gaze away long enough to check with Bella, who looked the most confused. 

“I think you better explain to the others,” Edward said, still only talking to Jasper despite the annoyance growing on everyone's face. Edward started pacing and mumbling and Alice joined us at Bella’s side. 

“What is he rambling about?” She asked Jasper. “What are you thinking?”

Noticing the attention on him, Jasper shied closer to Alice, but his eyes danced between Bella and me.

“You’re confused.” He said as if it wasn’t clear. He knew exactly how confused we all were. I chose to not point it out.

“You both need to understand this. Since you’re part of us now.” Bella looked shocked, but I was too confused. He continued, “How much do you know about me?”

Emmett gave up and sat down dramatically next to me. He picked up his cards again though there was no way I could focus on Uno now. He sighed.

“Not much,” Bella admitted.

Jasper stared at Edward, who looked to meet his gaze.

“No, I’m sure you can understand why I haven’t told her that story. But I suppose she needs to hear it now.” 

When Carlisle was met with the same questioning gaze he held up his hands. “It wasn’t my story to tell.” I almost laughed.

Jasper nodded, clearly at a loss as to where to start. He rolled up his sleeve and held his arm out to Bella. I wondered how his arms played a part of this until I saw what his fingers traced.

His arms were covered in lots of little crescent shaped scars.

I gasped and then Bella seemed to get it too. “Oh, Jasper, you have a scar exactly like mine.”

Jasper smiled faintly. “I have a lot of scars like yours, Bella.”

He was polite, but his face was unreadable. Bella’s scar was given to her by James. I’d guessed that she had been bitten, but no one ever explicitly confirmed the events of that night with me. I could tell from Bella’s reaction alone that the same could be said for Jasper. The sheer volume of bites stunned me to silence.

Bella stared up at him. “Jasper, what happened to you?”

“The same thing that happened to your hand,” he answered in a quiet voice.”Repeated a thousand times. Our venom is the only thing that leaves a scar.”

“How?” I wasn’t sure what I was asking. How did he get bitten so many times? How did he survive? But he understood, and started his story.

“I didn’t have quite the same… upbringing as my adopted siblings here.” As he spoke his voice went cold. I hated it. I knew his past was worlds away, but I wished I could protect him from it. 

“You should know, before I go further, that there are parts of our world you haven’t needed to see. In the north it’s easy for us to blend in. We don’t have to fight for territory. We can coexist. But in the south, immortals only come out at night, while spending their days plotting this never ending war.”

“Fighting for what?” I didn’t want to ask, but was glad Bella did.

He almost smiled. “To them, territory is power. They all want the places where they can feed without much notice. If there was one coven, who controlled a densely populated area, they could hunt freely. Each coven would have to fight to keep the land in their control.

“Wars broke out all across the south. Some with more effective tactics than others, but there was one that won out. One vampire, Benito, claimed most of Texas and northern Mexico in a matter of weeks, he was unbeatable.”

“How did he do it?” my voice was shakier than I expected it to be. 

“He created an army of newborn vampires. Newborns are nearly impossible to control. Their thirst is really the only thing that controls them. And they’re just as likely to take out themselves as they are to take out an enemy. He created more as they destroyed themselves and when it came down to a fight, he’d walk away on top.

“When the surrounding covens realized what was happening they created armies of their own, though it was often too late. 

“All hell broke loose- and I mean that more literally than you could possibly imagine. We immortals have our histories, too, and this particular war will never be forgotten. Of course, it was not a good time to be human in Mexico, either.”

“So, as the body count rose to unthinkable numbers the Volturi stepped in to clean up the mess. The entire guard came together and sought out every newborn in the bottom half of North America. They killed Benito first, and sought out his followers. If anyone had a newborn within two thousand miles of Mexico City, the entire coven paid with their lives. Our kind will always remember this too. The Volturi didn’t ask questions. They didn’t offer second chances.

“When the Volturi returned to Italy, the southerners left behind were quick to reclaim land. They were smarter, quieter this time. These newborns were carefully selected and thoroughly trained. And, though rarely necessary, the Volturi will step in to clear out the cities. But they let the quiet ones- the careful ones continue.”

He looked lost in his own thoughts as he stared at his arm. I almost reached out and grabbed his hand for reassurance, but thought better of it. 

“That’s how you were changed.”  Bella whispered.

He nodded. “I lived in Texas, just outside of Houston. I tried to join the army in 1861, but I was seventeen and they saw right through me. I didn’t really want to fight, but I had watched the horrors that had fallen on my community and I wanted to help. So many innocent people died because the confederates didn’t stop to consider how the civilians would be affected. 

“I was young and dumb, but I had a way with people. I had to lie a lot, to get battle plans, or uniforms, but people trusted me. I used that trust to lead women and children away from battlegrounds.

“That night wasn't any different than the rest. I had just led a group of young women to safety and was headed back to Galveston. I didn't want to waste time, I didn't stop to rest. I was maybe an hour out of town when I saw three women walking alone. I was afraid they were stragglers.

“Their names were Maria, Nettie, and Lucy. They hadn't been together long- Maria had rounded up the other two- all three were survivors of recently lost battles. They all had their own goals but they all agreed on one thing. They wanted territory.

“Maria was the one who turned me. Said she ‘had a good feeling’ about me. I didn't know what she meant at the time. Every instinct in my body screamed at me to run. Of course, I didn't know then that running would do me no good. Still, I wanted to run, but I couldn’t. If I had been right and they had needed help, I wanted to help them; I was completely frozen in place. 

“Maria grew quite fond of me- she began to depend on me. And in some ways, I worshiped the ground she walked on. She put me in charge of the army she was building. I still had so little understanding of my powers but as long as I could keep everyone calm and quiet, Maria had use for me.

“For her, I fully trained an army of twenty-three. We fought a group of only eleven and only lost four of ours. And because we were so well trained, we did it without attracting notice. The city changed hands without any human being aware.”

“Maria was greedy and she'd made a few too many enemies. Though things did quiet down for us over time, there are still small battles. Power is a dangerous thing. Many still seek vengeance. They won't easily forget. 

“I made her newborns- dozens at a time- that I then destroyed after a year of each new life. Every life I took weighed heavily on me. Each time, I hesitated more and more. I'd made fast friends with a newborn named Peter. He was strong so Maria let him live and he was in charge of helping me dispose of the rest. As much as it weighed on me, it really took a toll on Peter. And one day he met his mate- A newborn named Charlotte. She brought him back to life, but she ran out of time. Instead of ending her, he told her to run. He took off with her. I was supposed to track them down. I never did.

“Maria was irritated with me for that…

“Five years later, Peter came back for me.” I could tell by the change in his demeanor we were getting past the scary stuff. He was still tense, but he smiled softly at the memory of Charlotte and Peter. I didn't know them, but I was grateful for their part in his life.

“Peter told me about his new life with Charlotte, told me about options I'd never dreamed I had. I walked away without a backwards glance. Maria didn't track me down. She didn't fight for me. I was grateful I wouldn't have to kill her. We weren't close but we'd spent so many years together… I don't think I could have killed her if I tried. 

“I didn't realize how depressed I'd gotten until I was far out of it. Always worse after I hunted. Always tearing away pieces of what soul I had left. I felt the savagery of the newborns for years, the hatred that filled our every battle, but also the fear of every human I killed.

“It broke me…

“I went my own way. I tried so many ways to keep some sense of sanity, but nothing stuck. After a century of instant gratification, I found self-discipline… challenging. I still haven't perfected that.”

I was so lost in his words, I almost laughed. His face softened into a peaceful smile. It was a nice change; one I was grateful for.

“I was in Philadelphia. There was a storm, and I was out during the day- something I was not completely comfortable with yet. I knew standing in the rain would attract attention, so I ducked into a little half-empty diner. My eyes were dark enough no one would notice them, though that meant I was thirsty, and that worried me a little. 

“She was there- expecting me, naturally.” He finally chuckled and so did I. It was clear as day how much happier he was. “She hopped down from the high stool at the counter as soon as I walked in and came directly towards me.

“It shocked me. I was not sure if she meant to attack. But she was smiling, and the emotions that were emanating from her were like nothing I'd ever felt before.”

“You had kept me waiting a long time.” Alice was next to him suddenly, wrapping her arm in his, their fingers intertwining. “And you ducked your head, like a good southern gentleman, and said, ‘I'm sorry, ma'am’. She laughed at the memory.

Jasper smiled at her like she'd hung the moon. My heart melted. “You held out your hand and I took it without stopping to make sense of what I was doing. For the first time in almost a century, I felt hope.”

As infatuated with his story as I was, I knew the reason he told it now. There was an army forming in Seattle. Alice and Jasper smiled at each other as they recounted joining the rest of the Cullens and I struggled to follow along.

I caught the end of something Edward was saying, “When I got home, all of my things were in the garage.”

Alice only shrugged. “Your room had the best view.”

Everyone laughed. I played along and laughed too, but Carlisle could tell it was forced. His hand tightened around mine ever so slightly.

“That’s a nice story,” Bella said. Everyone looked at her like she'd lost it- even me. She quickly clarified. “I mean the last part. The happy ending with Alice.”

“Alice has made all the difference,” Jasper agreed. “This is a climate I enjoy.”

Finally, Alice went back to the point of the story. “An army,” she whispered, “Why didn't you tell me?”

I was glad I wasn't the only one worried. Though I could barely force the words out, I needed to ask, “And you guys plan to face this?”

“We don't have much of a choice, Cara.” Carlisle's voice was soothing as he pressed into my side.

Jasper answered only Alice's question, “I hoped I was mistaken. I hoped that maybe I just saw the similarities because of my past. It simply doesn't make sense for there to be an army in Seattle. No one would want to claim it for power when there isn’t anyone to oppose. No one would even defend it. 

“But I've seen this before, and there's no other explanation. There is an army of newborn vampires in Seattle. Fewer than twenty, I'd guess. The difficult part is that they are totally out of control. Whoever made them just set them loose. It will only get worse, and it won't be much longer till the Volturi step in. Actually, I'm surprised they've let it go on so long.”

“What can we do?” Carlisle asked his son.

I sat forward and placed my face in my hands, resting my elbows on my knees. They continued to make plans. Jasper wanted us to find an advantage. I couldn't really hear past the blood rushing around in my head. I wanted to vomit. I was so sick of that feeling.

“Maybe we won't have to.” Edward’s voice broke through my anguish, though I wished it hadn't. “Does it occur to anyone else that the only possible threat in the area that would call for the creation of an army is… us?”

“Oh for fucks sake…” I whimpered. Carlisle almost laughed at my outburst as his thumb traced comforting circles on my hand. 

There was a silence in the room as everyone took in Edwards words. There were various states of confusion. Bella seemed the most lost. But Edward, Jasper, Alice, and Carlisle seemed to understand the gravity of it all. I just wanted them to say it and get it over with.

Alice spoke first, “They're not coming after us,” she insisted, her eyes dancing wildly. “Or… they don't know that they are. Not yet.”

I couldn't hope that they weren't after us. “What can you see, Alice?”

“Flickers,” Alice answered. “I can't see a clear picture when I try to see what's going on, nothing concrete. But I've been getting these strange flashes. Not enough to make sense of.”

“Like they can't decide if we're worth it? Or they don't even know what they're doing?”

“I don't know…”

“Wait…” We all faced Edward while he tried to make sense of what Alice couldn't. “Not indecision- Knowledge. Someone who knows you can't see anything until the decision is made. Someone who is hiding from us. Playing with the holes in your vision.”

I sigh, “So it has to be the Volturi.”

“But I would see if they decided to come…”

“Unless they aren't acting directly. It has to be them. You said Aro read your mind in Italy, right? And he's always wanted the two of you.” I gesture between her and Edward. “So, he calls in a favor, someone who would do as he says without question.”

Rosalie agreed with me, “Someone in the south… someone who already had trouble with the rules. Someone who should have been destroyed is offered a second chance- if they take care of this one small problem… That would explain the Volturi's sluggish response.” 

“Or their lack of response at all. The only question left is why?”

Despite his comforting, I think Carlisle was just as confused as we were. “There’s no reason for the Volturi-”

“It was there,” Edward interrupted. “I didn’t expect it so quickly- his thoughts were all over the place and the others were… louder, I guess. But like Y/n said, he wants me and Alice by his side. He’d have the present and the future right in the palm of his hands.”

“He would kill the rest of us just to have you two?” Emmett asked. “That doesn’t make any sense.”

“But it does, if he wants to weed out the competition. Carlisle has what he wants, a large coven of loyal and gifted followers. If he had someone take us down, sparing only Alice and myself, then we would join him and there wouldn’t be another large powerful coven to oppose him.” Edward added.

It was Carlisle who interrupted this time. “They’re too committed to their mission. They would never break the rules themselves. It goes against everything they’ve worked for.”

“They’ll clean it up afterward. A double betrayal,” Edward’s voice was grim but not surprised. “No harm done.”

“No, Carlisle is right. The Volturi do not break rules. Not to mention the mess. Whoever this is has no clue what they’re doing. This has to be their first time making an army- I’d put money on it. It’s too hard to believe the Volturi are involved. But they will be.”

The stress around the room is palpable- even as Jasper worked to calm the space around us.

Emmett clapped once, pulling focus. “Then let's go! What are we waiting for?”

Carlisle and Edward exchanged a long glance. Edward nodded once. My breath caught in my throat. 

“We’ll need you to teach us, Jasper,” Carlisle finally said. “How to destroy them.” As much as I hated the idea, I knew how heavily it would weigh on him. I couldn’t muster up much strength, but I looked at his face, I watched his eyes, and I squeezed his hand- If only so he knew I was there with him. 

Our eyes met for the briefest moment and he kissed my forehead before returning to the conversation.

Jasper added that they would need extra hands. “Do you think Tanya’s family would be willing? Another five mature vampires would make a huge difference. And then Kate and Eleazar would be especially advantageous on our side. It would be almost easy, with their aid.”

“We’ll ask,” Carlisle answered as he took out his phone. He kissed my hand before pacing in front of the windows. Edward pulled Bella to sit between him and I on the couch. Across the room, Carlisle spoke quickly and quietly but everyone in the room remained tense. 

My eyes never left his face.

Edward groaned from the other side of Bella. “Damn it. Damn Laurent to the deepest pit of hell where he belongs.”

“Laurent?” Bella whispered. I tore my eyes from Carlisle to her. She looked more scared by the name than she had been of Jasper's backstory. 

While Edward read his fathers thoughts, I tried to get her attention. “Which one was Laurent again?”

“James’ coven. Moved to Denali, found me in the meadow.” She shivered.

My mouth formed an ‘oh’ but we focused on Carlisle’s phone call again. I had never seen him quite like this. He was almost begging whoever had answered, but his tone was firm and calm.  

“There’s no question of that,” he was suddenly angrier than before. “We have a truce. They haven’t broken it, and neither will we. I’m sorry to hear that… Of course. We’ll just have to do our best alone.” He hung up the phone without another word. His eyes watched the fog out of the window.

I was on my feet before I even knew what I was doing. My hand found his, he pulled me into him. I buried my face in his chest and he rested his chin on my head. 

“What’s the problem?” Emmett asked.

Carlisle answered, “Irina and Laurent were… romantically involved. More so than we knew. She is still angry with the wolves for their part in his death.”

Edward took over when Carlisle couldn’t go on. “She wants revenge. To take down the pack. They would trade their help for our permission.”

“No!” Bella gasped.

“We would never agree to those terms.” I said, to help calm Bella’s nerves.

“Neither would I. Laurent had it coming,” Edward growled. “And I still owe the wolves for that.”

“So it will be an even fight…” I looked at Jasper and he nodded.

“We may still win. We have the upperhand in skill, just not numbers.” His eyes left mine to only glance at Alice. When he found me again, there was a bit more panic on his face.

If they won this at all, not everyone would come home. 

~~

Edward, Rosalie, and Carlisle went hunting a couple of days later. He expected to only be away a few hours- twelve at the most, since they weren’t going far. The original plan was for Bella to hang out at our house so the three that were staying could keep her out of trouble. She opted out to go see Jacob- which I thought was a better plan anyway.

However, that did leave Emmett, Alice, Jasper, and myself to our own devices.

Normally I would have been very excited for Bella to get a chance to see Jacob, but right that very second, I really wished she was there to at least mediate.

Emmett was laying on the kitchen floor dramatically. “We are in way over our heads.” I giggled as Alice stomped over to him. “How are we going to make over a hundred cupcakes in just a few days?” He acted like we were forcing him.

“It’s only a hundred and forty!  I want every guest to at least have two. Bella’s graduation is important.” She sounded exhausted, not that that was possible- and not that I could blame her, Emmett was kind of acting like a baby.

She looked at me so she could beg with her eyes to get him to cooperate. Jasper just laughed and continued scooping batter into the trays.

Emmett just groaned and rolled over to his stomach. “Go on without me… I won’t make it.”

The glare on Alice’s face was the only thing to hold back my giggles. I would never say it, but I almost agreed with him. We’d been at this cupcake thing for more than an hour and we still didn’t have any cupcakes in the oven. In Alice’s defense, she bought eight cupcake trays and we had two ovens, so once we got this batch in we’d only have to do it one more time to be over her goal anyway.

I decided it would be best not to offer any input for either side. I liked my head exactly where it was. Instead I nudged Emmett with my foot. “All you have to do is crack a few more eggs. Then she might let you off the hook.”

“I won’t even ask you to decorate!” Alice’s tone was sweet- too sweet. I knew as soon as she said it she was up to something. 

I might have been the only one to notice though. Jasper continued with his task and Emmett got to his feet. He grumbled a little more, but continued cracking eggs. 

I’d hoped the moment passed, but then Jasper said, “She wouldn’t want you to decorate anyway.”

I froze, Alice’s eyes went wide.

“Boys-” I warned as Emmett picked up two eggs from the carton.

“Jasper, please don’t-”

“Wanna elaborate, Cowboy?” Emmett pressed. Their matching smirks were the only thing reminding me that while they were only playing, things could easily get very messy.

“I mean… The cupcakes would look like shit if you decorated them.” Emmett threw one of the eggs as soon as the words left his lips. It hit the center of Jasper’s chest with an oddly satisfying splat. “Hey now,” he laughed. “Let’s not start something Y/n will have to clean up.”

I definitely would have made them clean it up, but I kept my opinions to myself.

Emmett gave me an apologetic smile, but his focus didn’t leave Jasper. “I bet I can make prettier cupcakes than you can.”

Jasper’s smirk grew. Alice almost danced with excitement. I caught on to the couples scheme. Poor, sweet Emmett had no idea. 

“Really now?” Jasper’s southern drawl was dangerous. “You wanna place bets?”

Just like that, Emmett took out his wallet and set a one hundred dollar bill on the counter. Jasper laid down two more. 

“Winner takes all?” Now Emmett smirked and held out his hand.

I quickly added, “Loser cleans up!” just so Alice and I didn’t have to piece the  kitchen back together. 

“Sounds good to me.” Jasper shook his hand, then faced me and Alice. “Ladies, Do you want to judge?”

“Absolutely.” Alice said. Her smile matched Jaspers.

“As long as Alice gets final say. It’s her party.” And I did not want to be caught in the aftermath.

Alice and I proceeded to supervise the boys competition. I half listened as she talked through the rest of her party plans and half watched out the back window for Carlisle return. 

It was so easy to be comfortable with them. They always made me feel like I belonged. I was constantly surrounded by this overwhelming sense of family and belonging. Somehow, despite everything, the Cullens felt like family. Like coming home after an extended trip to open arms. Like a part of me missed them before I even knew them.

And like a part of them missed me too.

“I think Bella invited some of the wolves…” The annoyance  in Alice’s voice pulled me out of my thoughts. Jasper's gaze was on me, a soft smile on his face. I blushed and pulled my focus to Alice. “I can barely see it anymore.”

“Jacob’s coming here?” I asked.

“I guess… Or he’s trying to decide. It comes and goes in flashes. It’s really hard to plan a party I can’t see.”

 Everyone laughed but Alice.

“I think that’s how most people feel, Sweetheart.” Jasper kissed her cheek. 

“I’m serious! I haven’t been able to see anything for hours. What if I’m not making enough cupcakes?”

Emmett looked up. He had icing on his cheek. I hid my giggles with the back of my hand.

“I can make more. I’m in the zone now.” he offered without any prompting.

“You’re the best, Emmett!” Alice skipped over to him and threw her arms around him. Jasper and I made eye contact again and laughed to ourselves.

By the time he ‘ran out of steam’ he had made two hundred and six cupcakes.

Jaspers were a bit prettier but we let Emmett have it for being such a good sport. (and for doing most of the work.) I was still anxiously watching the front door. They talked about something on the TV. I only pretended to be interested.

It wasn’t long before Carlisle had his arms around me. I’d barely turned around before I heard Edwards tires screeching out of the garage. 

Still, I leaned up and kissed Carlisle.

Now that Carlisle was back, Emmett moved towards the garage to meet up with Rosalie. “What’s his deal?” He asked Carlisle over his shoulder.

“He didn’t go into much detail. Something happened with Bella at Jacob's. He said they'd be here shortly.”

My eyes darted to Alice who looked just as concerned as I felt. I wasn't sure if he knew more and just didn't tell me yet. I tried not to panic. 

“I haven't seen anything… Jacob is still too involved. But I'll keep you updated.” She painted on a smile and turned back to the TV. 

Carlisle ran a soothing hand over my arm. “I'm sure it will be alright. How was your day?”

I didn't let his efforts to calm my worry go wasted. I knew Edward would be normally a bit jumpy when they'd get back, especially when Jacob was involved. They were probably right. It was probably nothing. I took a deep breath and answered his question. 

“Alice wanted to make cupcakes for the party. Emmett was kinda a baby about it at first, but the ones he made came out really nice.”

“Well, there aren't any scorch marks in the kitchen.” the corner of his mouth turned slightly upwards slightly. “That is an impressive feat in and of itself.”

I laughed with him. “I supervised!”

“She was great!” Alice added. 

Carlisle’s smile was soft as his eyes met mine. “She always is.”

I, of course, melted into him. I hid the color in my cheeks by burying my face in his chest. I felt his soft chuckle as he held me tighter. I continued with the shift in conversation. “What about you? How was your trip?”

I felt him sigh. “It went smoothly, though it did end abruptly. I think we were finishing up anyway. The quick trip will definitely help in the long run.” I understood his meaning without him having to elaborate. I wanted them to be as prepared as possible, that was all I needed to know.

For just a moment we fell into comfortable small talk about the day's events. Alice complained some more about her lack of visions involving the party. 

Until Alice froze and spoke quickly. “Finally! They're almost here. Bella thinks she's broken her hand.” She focused on Carlisle, “They want you to look at it.”

“I'll go get my bag.” He kissed my forehead and disappeared up the stairs. I went out into the garage just as they were pulling in.

Bella and Edward were already getting out of the car. Emmett was holding up his jeep so Rose could work under it. Somehow, I was unphased. I noticed the way Bella was babying her hand and that took my focus.

I asked, “What happened? Are you okay?” At the same time Emmett asked, “Fall down again, Bella?”

Her soft eyes shifted from me to glare at him. “No, Emmett. I punched a werewolf in the face.”

Shocked, I stared at her. Emmett, of course, burst out laughing. I managed to push my panic aside. “Who? Why?” 

I wasn't sure I actually asked until she stopped glaring at Emmett to answer me. “Jacob kissed me.”

My confusion faded to anger. I had to bite my cheek to contain it. “Why?”

“Because he's an entitled, selfish, piece of-”

From her spot under the Jeep, Rosalie laughed and announced, “Jasper's going to win the bet.”

Edward winced and tried to pull Bella faster into the house but she froze in her spot. 

“What damn bet?” My anger with Jacob shifted back to general confusion, with just a touch of anger. I was already tired of their bets after the cupcake debacle and while I had no idea what they'd bet on, I had a terrible feeling about it.

Bella looked between the boys and demanded, “What bet?”

“Let's get you to Carlisle. Y/n, is he in his office?” I knew he knew exactly where in the house he was and was just trying to use that to shift her focus. I didn't answer. 

“What bet?” Bella insisted.

“Thanks, Rosalie.” His arm tightened around her waist and he continued forward.

“Edward…” the concern was heavy in my voice but it also came off as a warning. I didn't want him to pick a fight with Rose. I also wanted to know about the bet.

“It's infantile,” He shrugged. “Emmett and Jasper like to gamble.”

I rolled my eyes. 

She didn't drop it there. She tried to turn back, but his arm was tight around her waist. “Emmett will tell me.”

He sighed, finally giving in. He probably knew that neither of us would drop it. Bella could get Emmett to tell her, I'd get Carlisle to tell me. “They're betting on how many times you… slip up in the first year.”

The horror on Bella's face matched my own. I suddenly felt like throwing up and wished I had never asked.

Bella repeated his answer to elaborate. “They have a bet on how many people I’ll kill?”

“Yes.”  He sounded annoyed, I couldn't help but agree. “Rosalie thinks your temper will turn the odds in Jasper’s favor.”

Bella looked lost. I was grateful we were still walking towards Carlisle.

“Jasper's betting high.”

“It will make him feel better if you have a hard time adjusting. He's tired of being the weakest link.”

“Sure. Of course it will. I guess I could throw in a few extra homicides, if it makes Jasper happy. Why not?” Her voice was flat and distant.

“I- That's so fucked up actually…” I didn't want to think about what they thought Bella would be like as a newborn vampire. Or that that was right around the corner.

I definitely didn't want to know if they'd placed bets about me.

“They didn't,” Edward answered anyway. “They talked about it, but it's not certain when- or if you'll be like us. Also Jasper thinks you're too much like Carlisle. It wouldn't be wise to bet high.”

I cringed, wanting to throw up again.

He squeezed Bella a bit tighter. “But neither of you need to worry about it now. In fact, you don’t have to worry about it ever, if you don't want to.”

Bella groaned and Edward pulled her a bit faster to the dining room. I didn't think it was her hand that was bothering her, but I was grateful he wanted to get her to Carlisle faster. I was more than willing to be closer to him as well.

Carlisle looked at Bella's hand for all of two minutes before agreeing that it was broken. He wanted to take her to the clinic for a legitimate x-ray and proper cast, but they came to a compromise. She just had to wear a brace and let him check on her regularly. She promised to be good and follow the doctor's orders.

Bella was out of it. Edward fussed over her multiple times, but she wasn't in any pain. Carlisle gave her some pain meds just in case. 

Even as she hugged me before they left, she seemed off. I wondered if she really was just tired or if, like me, the idea of their bet threw her off.

When they were gone, Carlisle walked with me to our room. I was ready to pass out. The weight of the day was finally catching up to me. I couldn’t believe how tired I’d gotten in just the last 30 minutes.

Carlisle laid in bed next to me; both of us on our sides, facing each other, our hands joined between us. We laid there for a moment, just existing together, but my curiosity did get the better of me. 

“Did you know?” I asked, just barely above a whisper.

“About the boys bet?” I nodded and he sighed. “Not exactly. I knew of the debate that started the bet. I knew that Jasper had joked that once Bella was a newborn, he wouldn’t be our biggest concern. However, they knew better than discussing it around me or Edward. I only heard in passing what Edward gathered from their thoughts.” His tone was apologetic, even though he hadn’t done anything wrong.

“I’m not upset with them.” I specified. “They’re just being silly. It’s just… It’s weird to think about what we’ll be like… after.” I felt like my voice sounded as distant as Bella’s did earlier.

“You don’t have to-”

“I know. They didn’t even bet on my… outcome.” I almost laughed. “The idea of it though, somehow makes this all feel more real.”

He did laugh. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t know.” I rolled over to my back and stared at the ceiling. He wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me closer to him. “I guess I just couldn’t imagine it before. Like a part of me held on to the fantasy of it.”

“But since Jasper's story… and then today, after they mentioned the bet… It’s like now I can see it. I can see Bella with red eyes and cold skin. I can picture myself like you. It’s just so real.”

I turned back to him and his eyes were on me. I could tell he was analyzing my words, but his gaze wasn’t harsh. He was calm and soft and collected just like he always was- all while trying to decide if I was panicking.

I caressed his face. “I still want this… eventually. Not now-” I smiled softly at him and he smiled back. “But at some point, I still want to be like you. You just have to promise to love me if I accidentally kill people.”

He moved so he was positioned a bit over me, without putting any actual weight on me. “I will always love you, and I think I can manage keeping you in line.”

“That’s good…” I leaned up to kiss his nose. “Someone has to. It might take all of us to keep Bella in line.”

His lips lifted on one side in a half smile that made me melt. “Are you betting high?”

I playfully glared at him. “I am not betting… But if I had to guess, I think Bella is stubborn and she doesn’t really take no for an answer. And if this spring was any indication she has a flair for the dramatics- justified or not.”

He thought over my points for a moment before nodding. “You have excellent points. It’s a good thing there’s six of us.”

“And some overly attached wolves.” I giggled.

~~

“I have nothing to wear!” Bella said into her now empty closet. I sat on the floor leaning against her bed. I started in the bed but as she pulled out all of her clothes I was quickly booted to the floor. “At this rate, I’m graduating in this!” she gestured towards herself and her old sweats and baggy sweater. 

“You will not!” I insisted. “We’ll stop at a store on the way if we have to.”

“We don’t have time!” She glared at the pile of clothes. “Stupid, thieving, annoying vampire!”

I nearly jumped out of my skin when Alice said “What did I do?” while leaning casually beside the open window.

“Holy shit- Alice!”

She just laughed and added “Knock, knock.” with a grin.

“Is it really so hard to wait for me to get the door?”

“Or at least shoot either of us a text first so you don’t give us a heart attack?”

“It’s more fun this way.” Her grin got a touch wider “Anyway! I was passing through and I thought you might need something to wear.”

I giggled as Alice tossed a white box on the bed. Bella looked like she was relieved and also like she might throw up. 

“Admit it,” Alice said. “I’m a lifesaver.”

“You’re a lifesaver,” Bella muttered. “Thanks.”

“Well, it’s nice to get something right for a chance. You don’t know how irritating it is- missing things the way I have been. I feel so useless. So… normal.” She cringed. I had to laugh. 

“How could you?” I joked at the same time Bell said “Eww, normal?”

Alice laughed. “Well this makes up for missing your annoying thief- now I just have to figure out what I’m not seeing in Seattle.”

Maybe it was the look on Bella’s face or the way Alice said our two problems so closely together, but it clicked. All of it lined up perfectly. I quickly scanned Bella’s face as she put it together. Her eyes darted between me and Alice as she tried to judge if we’d caught on. I nodded but Alice remained unmoved.

“Aren’t you going to open it?” Her question barely had time to settle before she moved to open it for her. “Pretty, don’t you think? I picked blue because I know it’s Edward’s favorite on you.” Bella wasn’t listening. She looked completely dazed.

I stood up and grabbed Alice’s hand. “Alice.”

At the same time Bella whispered “It’s the same.”

Alice didn’t get it. “What is?” she demanded. “You don’t have anything like this. For crying out loud you only own one skirt!”

“No-” Bella cut me off.

“-Alice! Forget the clothes, listen!”

She still hadn’t caught on, her face softened with disappointment “You don’t like it?”

“Listen, Alice, don’t you see? It’s the same!”

“The uninvited visitor, our missing things, the newborns-”

“Yeah! Thank you, Y/n!” She seemed a little less frantic knowing I understood. “They’re together.”

Alice froze, the dress fell from her hands delicately back into the box. “Why do you think that?”

“Remember what Edward said? About someone using the holes in your vision to keep you from seeing the newborns-”

“Right! And I brought up that I thought that maybe they were just curious as they passed through-”

“Then what you said before, Alice. The timing was too perfect.”

“Someone ‘Just curious’ wouldn’t have taken our things.” I added air quotes around my own words knowing now just how wrong I was. “And they were way too careful not to make any contact.”

“Because he knew you would see that.”

“You were right, Alice. He has to know. There’s no chance it’s multiple people who not only know, but are also using the holes in your vision at the same time.” Bella looked at me. Alice was still frozen. 

Bella continued. “The one making the army is the one who stole our things.”

Alice stayed completely unmoving for quite some time. Around a minute in, I sat on the bed, trying my best to mind the pile of clothes. More time passed in silence. I was afraid she'd gone into shock.

Then she whispered, “You're right.” Her voice was hollow and completely detached. I wasn't convinced she was okay. I worried she was panicking. “Of course you're both right. And when you put it that way…”

“Edward had it wrong.” Bella whispered. From where I sat, it was hard to make out what she said. “It was a test… to see if it would work.”

“To see if he could get in, get our scent, and get back out unharmed.” I added.

“As long as he didn't do anything you would be watching out for.” Bella continued.

“Like speak to either of us… or eat our father.” I shivered.

“And he didn't take our things to prove he found us. He stole our scent… so that the others could find us.”

Another moment passed without a sound. None of us breathed. We were right. We had to be right. It was clear Alice knew it too.

“Oh, no,” she mouthed. Alice's stillness quickly became a panic that rivaled my own. Bella somehow looked relieved.

“Well,” she whispered. “Everyone can relax. Nobody's trying to exterminate the Cullens after all.”

Her words confused me. I just stared at her for a beat. “Relax? That's what you got from this?”

“If you think that one thing has changed, you're absolutely wrong.”

I teetered this line of understanding where Bella was coming from and outright disagreeing. This wasn't about the Cullens, which was good, but there was a ravenous army of newborn  vampires after the two of us. If we could just turn ourselves over to them, maybe they'd leave our family alone. “But the Cullens would never let them get to us. No one will back down without a fight.”

“You're probably right- But at least we know what they're after. That has to help.”

“Maybe,” Alice muttered before she started pacing Bella's room.

When Dad knocked on the door both Bella and I nearly jumped out of our skin. Alice kept pacing, unbothered.

“Aren't you girls ready yet? We're going to be late!” I was sure he was more bothered that he had to wear a tie than he was about being late.

“Almost. Give us a minute.” Bella said hoarsely 

His tone changed from frustration to concern immediately “Are you crying?”

“No. I'm nervous. Go away.”

Once he had grumbled his way back down the stairs, Alice whispered again, “I have to go.”

“Why?” Bella and I asked at the same time.

“Edward is coming. If he hears this…”

“Go, go.” Again, Bella and I spoke in unison. I knew that Edward wouldn't have the best reaction, which was easily an understatement. 

“Y/n, can you keep him out of your thoughts?” Alice asked. My eyes went wide, not having considered the issue, but I nodded.

“I can try. I've never done it on purpose, but I’ll really really try.” 

She did not look convinced. “If you can't keep him out, just keep your thoughts busy with literally anything else.” I nodded again trying to plan what to think about for the entirety of the graduation.

“Put that on,” Alice commanded before going back out the window. Bella looked at me and I just walked out of the room without another word- unsure of what to say anyway.

Dad was in the kitchen, looking at the paper, grumbling something along the lines of “-that girl is going to be late to her own damn graduation…” but I couldn't really hear him over the roaring in my head.

Could I just choose to keep Edward out of my thoughts? And, if I couldn't, could I really keep my head busy enough for him not to catch on. 

And, possibly the hardest part, could I sit next to Carlisle for the entire graduation ceremony like nothing was wrong. He would be able to tell the second he saw me that something was off and I would have to be able to still not think about it and not tell him when he asked. 

I poured what was left of the coffee into my travel mug, knowing very well it would not help the pit in my stomach but I hoped it would at least give my brain a bit of a caffeine buzz. As I finished making my coffee, Bella rushed downstairs. Dad complimented her and asked about her dress. She thanked him. She mentioned Alice. 

I wasn't paying attention. 

Once Edward arrived I thought about all of the shoes that I owned. I tried to just think ‘no Edward’ but didn't want to trust in that alone. They just as quickly drifted out to the cruiser. Dad kissed my check on his way out.

“I'll be right behind you guys. I'm almost ready.” I mumbled and Dad nodded but I didn't hear if he said anything. I shut the door behind them and for a second leaned my head against it. 

I whispered to myself as I heard the car pull away. “It's no big deal. It's just an hour- maybe two. I can do this. I can do this.” I breathed a heavy sigh and straightened my dress. “I really hope I can do this.

I turned my back to the door to put on shoes. I looked one last time in the mirror by the door. I opened the door but immediately shut it back. 

Quickly, I ran through the house and made sure every window was shut tight and locked. I made sure the back door was locked and double checked the front door was locked before heading to the school.

I got to my seat mere seconds before the ceremony started. Carlisle had chosen a seat that was next to isle and left the seat next to him for me. My Dad was just behind him with Billy and Jacob. I tried my best to smile politely at Billy. I didn't even look at Jacob.

Carlisle stood and placed his hand on the small of my back as I passed. He kissed my cheek and whispered “You look stunning, as always.”

I mumbled my thanks and it took a single second after I sat down for him to ask, “What's happened? Are you alright?”

I almost let my guard down. My mantra of ‘No Edward. No Edward. No Edward.’ almost paused, but I managed to get a grip. “Nothing’s happened. Everythings fine. I’m okay?”

His eyes squinted slightly, like he was analyzing every syllable in my words.

“I promise I will tell you about it later.” I smiled as best as I could at him. I poked the middle of my own forehead twice before repeating the motion on his.

“Oh,” He mouthed. “I understand.” He didn’t press though his grip did tighten ever so slightly around my hand. I kissed him quickly and Dad cleared his throat behind us. I let myself giggle.

When Principal Greene started the ceremony I repeated every word he said in my mind.

I clapped and cheered when Alice was called. She appeared, accepted the diploma, and disappeared just as quickly; I pretended not to notice. Edward followed after and his general confusion was clear. I continued to clap but my cheering was cut off when his sharp gaze met mine.

His expression didn’t change beyond confusion. I breathed a sigh of relief but sang Twinkle Twinkle Little Star in my head anyway. Even Jasper walked across the stage just as tense as Alice had been. Carlisle continued to cheer for his family as they graduated again.

As the next names were called he said under his breath, “He’s not sure what, but he can tell all of you are hiding something.”

I said nothing and continued the lullabies in my head.

When Bella’s name was called, Dad stood and cheered. Jacobs cheering was the loudest and though I rolled my eyes, it did make Bella crack a small smile- even if it was a little forced.

I stood and clapped with everyone else at the graduates moved their tassels and threw their caps. The kids started meeting up with their families and friends. I planned my escape route just to get stopped by Dad and Billy. 

Dad asked if I wanted to go out to eat with them, which I could politely decline since Alice had made the party such a big deal. He bought it easily, said goodbye to me and Carlisle, before leaving with Billy and Jacob. Thankfully Jacob said nothing to me the whole time.

As soon as they were gone, Carlisle put an arm around my waist and started to walk with me to my car. He turned his head to face me as we walked, one eyebrow raised. “Y/n?”

“Carlisle?” I’d switched from lullabies to 80s love songs. If he was still in my head, I Wanna Dance With Somebody would have to work as a distraction. 

“Will you please tell me what is going on?”

I shushed him. I doubted anyone could even hear our conversation over the crowd of families but I wasn’t going to risk it now. “As soon as no one can hear us.” I assured him.

The plan was that I would drive separately to the graduation and Carlisle would follow me back to our house after. That way I could help Bella get ready in the morning and then I could help Alice set up after the ceremony. I didn’t think the plan had changed and he walked me to my car like everything was normal. His arm stayed around my waist our entire walk. I figured we’d made it out of the woods without Edward finding out and freaking out.

But as we walked up to my car, Carlisle said, “I understand why you didn’t want to tell anyone in there.”

My eyes shot open and I turned to face him. “She told him? Is he alright? Is he freaking out?”

“He’s… not calm. But he will be alright, Mon Coeur.” He opened my door. “I do hope you have a bit more understanding than your sister, who seems to think that this connection solves everything.”

I didn’t move to get in the car. “I know it doesn’t. I think it’s probably worse…”

“It’s definitely worse.” He drew his lips into a line. “I’ll see you at the house. I will be right behind you the entire time.”

I nodded and kissed him. His car was behind mine before I even left the parking lot.

Alice gave everyone tasks. As soon as we walked in the door we were assigned balloon duty. I could hardly focus on the balloons. I popped three and let go of more than I could count. I giggled everytime they shot across the room. Alice sighed and took the remaining stack from me.

“I think that’s enough balloons… I’m going to get the music started. Y/n, why don’t you change into your party clothes?”

I looked down at my clothes then at Carlisle and mumbled, “What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?”

“Nothing!” She said quickly. “It’s just that this is a party, and you look like you’re going to a graduation- Oh! I have the perfect dress!” and then she vanished up the stairs.

Carlisle only chuckled once he’d heard me laugh. Edward and Bella came in before Alice came back down. Edward was normally hard to read but his face really gave nothing away as to what he was feeling.

“Edward!” Alice had emerged from upstairs, seemingly unaware how much she’d startled me. Carlisle chuckled and rubbed my arm. “I need your advice. Should we give them familiar and comforting or educate their taste in music?”

“Keep it comforting,” Edward recommended. “You can only lead the horse to water.”

Alice nodded and started the music, placing whatever she decided was too ‘Educational’ in a separate box. 

Bella looked down at her blue dress and mumbled. “I think I’m underdressed.”

“You’re perfect,” Edward disagreed.

“Alice is just over dressed,” I added.

She ignored me and said to Bella, “You’ll do.”

I laughed. Bella thanked her but her voice still had hope when she asked “Do you really think people will come?” Alice made a face at her.

“Everyone will come.” Edward confirmed. I watched Bella deflate. I wasn't too excited about the party, but I was excited to watch Bella try to navigate the house full of people.

Then Alice continued barking orders. I followed along, completing small tasks for her. Bella held on to Edward while we floated around. I doubted he would have let her go, but I also never saw her try. The guys moved as Alice commanded, all while discussing battle strategies for their attack on the newborns in Seattle.

I wanted to throw up.

They still had no backup. Tanya’s family refused to send any aid, and of course there was still no chance they’d change Bella early. Yet they still had every intention to charge in before the army got too close.

Jasper looked about as nervous as I felt. Trying every angle he could think of just to swing the odds in our favor. I hated that it wasn’t looking like a bright outcome. Not to mention they had no idea what they were going to do with me and Bella during the fight.

I didn’t like the idea of staying in forks and waiting it out. I wouldn’t let them divide their numbers by making anyone stay behind. Bella looked like the thought alone would drive her mad.

But then the doorbell rang.

Everything shifted immediately, going from betting odds and battle strategies to teenage house party. The stress melted out of the room, while still clinging to me. Carlisle smiled, Jasper moved to Alice’s side. Alice turned up the music, pointed at me, and mouthed the word ‘change’, before dancing to get the door.

I let out a harsh laugh and kissed Carlisle’s cheek and drifted upstairs to put on whatever it was that Alice deemed party worthy.

I was a bit thankful, actually. Not only to get out of my dress and- with any luck- into something a bit more comfortable. But I was thankful that even for just a moment, I could take a breath and try to push some of the panic aside.

I shut the door behind me and took the biggest breath I could muster; granted, it was shaky and broken. I tried again. And somehow that one was worse. I hoped that with the music and the chatter even the Cullens couldn’t hear my gasps. I moved from the door as fast as I could and sat on the edge of the bed. My hand went to my chest.

I knew that at least tonight we were fine. They weren’t coming to get us tonight and now that we had a more clear picture, Alice could probably see them coming. I didn’t have to panic.

And yet… There I sat. Panicking.

I was completely overwhelmed with this looming dread. This wasn’t just about Bella anymore. Though that was bad enough, this involved me now. Despite how often Edward disregarded my safety and despite how desperately Carlisle tried to protect me from this;

My life was in danger.

It was never going to end was it?

I was shaking and crying before I even realized. I’d been in there for a while when there was a soft knock at the door followed by another that was a bit more demanding. I had just enough time to wipe my tears and sit up straighter before the door cracked open. I saw Jasper's soft blonde curls before it registered that it was him.

“Y/n?” His accent was thick with concern, even as he just said my name. 

“Jasper… I-I” I tried to breathe again. “I figured you were Carlisle.”

“Alice had him step out to get ice. He figured he’d be back before you noticed he was gone. But I heard you crying… thought I could lend a hand.”

I smiled softly at him and he took a small step into the room. He left the door cracked just slightly so the noise filtered in. I took another deep, settling breath.

“Alice might come lookin for ya if you don’t come down soon, but I might be able to stall her a bit longer.”

I almost giggled but it got caught in my throat. He handed me a tissue. “Thank you, Jasper. I really should get down there.”

“No problem. Though, I wish I could do more to ease your panic.”

I sighed, “Thanks for always trying…” I took his outreached hand and he helped me to my feet. I held on to him a bit longer just to make sure I was stable on my feet. I thanked him again.

He chuckled and grinned softly. “Happy to help.”

I turned to let him go but stopped before he could. “Uhm… one last thing?” He nodded. I sighed and my lip trembled. I pushed past it and said, “Are our numbers… completely hopeless?” I had to look out the window and blink back my reamerging tears.

“I wouldn’t say hopeless… I’m just not quite used to playing with the disadvantage. But, I’ve never lost a fight. I don’t plan on startin’ now… Especially not now when my family is involved.”

I pulled my eyes back to his and saw the sincerity there.

He nodded and I nodded and he continued. “Everyone will be alright. We have to be confident.”

I nodded again and mumbled my thanks.

This time when he went to leave I didn’t stop him. I quickly changed into what Alice had laid out, though I did forgo the heels.

I made my way down the stairs. Alice was pointing Carlisle to where she wanted him to take the ice but Jasper took it from him and nodded towards me. I mouthed one last thank you in his direction before meeting Carlisle’s warm gaze. His soft smile and bright gold eyes almost washed my panic away completely.

He saw it anyway and when his arm wrapped around my waist he pulled me close to him. His free hand went to my chin, lifting it so he could see my face better. I felt my cheeks heat.

“You’ve been crying. Has something happened?” His tone was hushed even as he scanned me for obvious injury.

I giggled and shook my head. “I’m fine. I just got overwhelmed.” When he just looked at me with one eyebrow raised, I lifted a pinky. “Promise! It’s no big deal. We can talk about it later.”

He didn’t look happy about it, but he interlocked his pinky with mine before fully taking my hand. We walked into the main room where the bulk of the guests had started hanging out.

He pointed out to me that the largest tower of cupcakes was nearly empty. I was glad they were doing well with the crowd after all the work Emmett and Alice put into them. A few girls walked up and gave compliments to Carlisle about our home. Some were obviously flirting with him. It made me giggle every time. His hand never left the small of my back. 

Everything was going smoothly, until it wasn’t.

Bella was talking with Jessica and Edward, then Edward walked off, just fast enough to still seem natural. Bella looked around for a second and then something caught her eye behind us. I turned and saw Alice frozen in the doorway. She looked like she could hardly stand on her own.

Carlisle froze too. I sharply turned to face him again and whispered, “What’s wrong?” The quiver in my voice was only loud enough for him to hear.

“I’m… not sure. Stay here, I’ll find Edward.”

Two seconds after he walked off and I walked over to where Bella had met Alice, the doorbell rang.

I only caught the end of what they were saying. “I have to talk to Carlisle,”  Alice had said. Then she was gone and Bella said to the space where she’d been, “No, Alice, wait!” before swearing under her breath.

I touched her arm and she still jumped. “Where did they go? What is going on?”

“I have no idea… Where is Carlisle?” I could tell she was just as lost as I was.

“Looking for Edward.” The doorbell rang again. “Should I get that?”

“No.” She started heading for the stairs. I continued to stand there, confused.

“Hey, Bella!” I didn’t expect to see Jacob. As a matter of fact, I’d never expected to see Jacob in my house at all. Definitely after the shit he pulled the last time she hung out with him. But there he was, in my living room with two of his friends. Though it was clear, at least to me, that his friends very much did not want to be there.

Bella also did not want them to be there. She waved back at him when he waved, but still turned and disappeared into the crowd. Jacob disappeared too and I just stood there with my hands in the air.

“I… don’t worry guys. I’ll handle the party hosting. It’s fine…” I said sarcastically and just loud enough that they probably heard. Something was going on, and instead of telling me- or Bella from the looks of it, they ran off to have a secret little meeting.

I scanned the crowd looking for a single vampire or at least Bella, but all I found was the back of Jacobs head. I guessed he was talking with Bella but I did not want to get involved. I had nothing nice to say to him, So I walked away. I moved into the room picking up and throwing away abandoned plates and empty cups. I was in the middle of wiping icing off the table cloth when Alice’s cool hand wrapped around my arm.

“Shit! My god- Alice… you nearly scared me to death!” I put a hand on my chest to try to slow my heart beat. Her face didn’t change.

She looked panicked.

“Alice, what’s wrong?”

“I need you to come with me. Where’s Bella?”

I looked at the crowd again. “She’s over there with-” before I could finish she disappeared, “with Jacob…” I pulled my lips into a tight line, but headed towards where I’d last seen Bella.

Alice was already there, whispering to Bella. They started to walk off with me trailing behind when Jacob blocked their path. “Hey, not so fast.”

Alice and I demanded in sync, “Excuse me?” I glared at him but her eyes stayed wide.

“Tell us what's going on.”

“How about you-” I took a step forward, but Bella held her hand to stop me. 

Jasper appeared next to Alice and I'd never been so excited to see him. Jacob, on the other hand, took a step back. I could barely hold back my laughter.

“We have a right to know.” Jacob muttered, still glaring at me.

I had to bite my tongue. Jasper stepped in between us. Jacob and his friends tensed.

This time Bella stepped in, laughing just slightly to play it cool. “Hey, hey… This is a party, remember?”

No one moved. I glared at Jacob and Jasper as they had a seemingly never ending staring contest. Alice was the first one to soften.

“It's okay, Jasper. He actually has a point.” Jasper did not relax.

“What did you see, Alice?” Bella asked, like she could not handle the anticipation a second longer.

Alice took a moment before her eyes left Jacob and met Bella's anxious gaze.

She answered loud enough for everyone to hear. “The decision has been made.”

“You're going to Seattle?”

“No,”

“No? What do you mean, ‘no’?” I asked even though I had a sinking feeling I did not want to know. 

Bella looked like I felt; Her face paled as she figured out what she meant. “They're coming here?” She choked out. 

“Here?” I couldn't comprehend what they were saying. How could the army come here? The boys in front of me looked equally as confused. Nothing felt real.

“Yes.”

“To forks.”

“Yes.”

“For?”

Alice nodded, in understanding. “One carried your things. Your red shirt and your pillow case.”

“But… they can’t come here. It’s too close. Dad is here- Bella-” My voice didn’t sound like my own. 

“I know,” Alice agreed with more sadness in her eyes than I had the capacity to understand. “But it doesn’t matter where we stop them. There still won’t be enough of us, and some of them will come here to search.”

“No!” Bella whispered.

My eyes locked on Jaspers. Just an hour before, he’d said our numbers weren’t hopeless. I wanted to beg him to have that confidence now. I needed them to find a way to stop whatever end we were coming to. He only watched Alice. 

Bella grabbed my arm and pulled my focus. I felt the world spin. “Then we have to go meet them!” Her voice was shrill.

“Bella!” Alice scolded.

“Hold it,” Jacob spoke for the first time in a long time. He looked caught between anger and confusion. “What is coming?”

Since they decided to talk about it so openly, I figured it wouldn’t hurt to explain but I still whispered. “Newborn vampires. Like a whole bunch of them.” I hated how small my voice was.

“Why?” He pressed.

Alice took over for me. “For Y/n and Bella. That’s all we know.”

“There are too many for you?” he asked.

Jasper was deeply annoyed with the question. “We have a few advantages. It will be an even fight.”

A terrible thought passed through my head. I tried to push it away but Jacob grinned in a way that could only mean he was thinking the same thing. “Jake- no…”

No one acknowledged me.

“No,” Jacob said. “It won’t be even.”

“Excellent!” Alice hissed. I was frozen. Bella was frozen. Alice and Jacob just grinned at each other. “Everything just disappeared, of course. That’s inconvenient, but, all things considered, I’ll take it.”

“We’ll have to coordinate,” Jacob started but all of the noise was overwhelming. Their words sounded like mush. The music was too loud. I squeezed my eyes close and took a few deep breaths while Alice, Jasper, and Jacob casually discussed fighting an army. 

I felt a cool hand brush against my arm though I couldn’t tell whose. I locked our fingers together and opened my eyes to find Rosalie. I didn't know when she’d gotten there but I was grateful she had.Bella was too distracted to notice we’d left.

 Wordlessly she led us out of the crowd and safely into the garage. It was considerably quieter in there. She took me straight to Carlisle's side then she moved to stand next to Emmett. I mumbled my thanks to her as I wrapped my arms around him. While normally, his presence alone was enough to calm my heart rate, at that moment I still felt like I was drowning in panic.

Carlisle said something to the others in a tone too low for me to understand as he pulled me close to him. He kissed my hair. Only when I was completely surrounded by him did I feel like I could even breathe. His hold on me didn’t loosen.

“Find Bella and Alice. End this party on a positive note. We can reconvene later.” He sounded calm. Everyone followed his instructions without another word to either of us. I’d only just heard the door to the garage shut behind them before Carlisle shifted me back and lifted my chin so he could see my face better. “Everything will be okay.”

I wasn’t crying. I could have, at any second, but I was afraid that if I started I wouldn’t be able to stop. He ran a thumb over my cheek anyway. I held it together better than I thought I would, but maybe I was out of energy to fight and panic. I let his confidence soothe me and nodded softly.

I didn't believe him- but I wanted to. I wanted to believe that with aid from the wolves we'd make it out of this unscathed. No one would be hurt. We'd be safe again. But the worry I felt was bigger than me. 

So I just let him hold me. He dulled the ache with soft kisses to my face. He kissed me and held me right where they'd left us in the garage until there was only silence around us. As much as I needed this- as much as I needed him, I could tell by the way he held me that he needed me too. The kisses to my head and face and neck reassured him as much as they did me. When we finally drifted inside everyone was gone. We went upstairs to our room so I could try to get some rest.

Taglist!

@jakanddexter67 @a-not-so-poetic-poet @bridge597 @cestlavie03 @gaymazinglula @short-potato @jennyamanda8 @daisydreamingsims @arg888cam

[samble-moved]

Sayaka is Biyaka (or, a Lesbian Tries to Disprove the "Sayaka is a Lesbian With Comphet" Bi Erasure Theory)

For some reason, there's a loooot of belief in the PMMM fandom (this was especially bad in the mid 2010s) that Sayaka isn't bi (despite her canon, on screen romantic interested in both Kyosuke, a guy, and Kyoko, a girl), she's "just" a lesbian struggling with compulsive heterosexuality.

While many lesbians do struggle with comphet, erasing Sayaka's status as bi/pan/omni/mspec to claim she's a lesbian is...not great!

Usual signs of comphet include, but are not limited to:

Only attraction to guys involves ones who are entirely unobtainable (ex. a celebrity, fictional, etc)

Any man you fantasize about is faceless/nameless

Interest in men in theory, but not practice

"Choosing" a man to have a crush on to seem "normal", or because it's expected

Attraction based on logic, not actual emotion (ex. because your parents would approve)

Liking a guy until they return the interest

Being attracted to certain guys just because of something like a talent

(...and more examples here!)

However, Sayaka's attraction to Kyosuke doesn't seem based on any of these, but seems more to be genuine attraction/interest.

For one, Sayaka has been close to Kyosuke ever since she was a child. They're described and shown as childhood friends, and he isn't a guy Sayaka "just met" and "chose" to be into.

Sayaka also just isn't into Kyosuke at a surface level. If she held no true attraction towards him, why would she willingly trade her relatively safe, happy life for his happiness? Her wish was to heal his hand. While this was the stated wish, it's outright shown that Sayaka didn't just want that. It's outright shown canonically that, while not fully said, Sayaka wants Kyosuke's appreciation and recognition for this. She wants him to know the miracle was her doing, and wants him to love her for doing it.

The various interpretions of this won't be majorly touched here, as whether or not Sayaka's thinking there is "selfish" isn't important. What is important is that Sayaka shows a true level of attraction to Kyosuke, and wishes it was reciprocated.

It's not that she "just" likes him for his skills (she still visits him in the hospital, even during a time where it's implied that he won't be able to play his violin again). It's not that he's a guy out of reach — he's a childhood friend. She's not being pressured into liking guys. She literally jokes about Madoka being her wife in front of Hitomi, publicly.

Her feelings are obvious and genuine enough that Hitomi tells Sayaka that, if she wants, she will give Sayaka a day to confess to Kyosuke before Hitomi does.

A bisexual person who ends up later liking someone of the same gender later on isn't "actually gay" instead. A bisexual person with a preference isn't "choosing a side". Erasing a canon bisexual character's identity to claim "ummm, akshully, 🤓 they're Really X sexuality instead" is biphobic!

I'm probably not the best person to make this post, as I am a lesbian, not bisexual. However, people erasing a bi character's sexuality to call them a lesbian instead is not okay, and it wouldn't be okay the other way around either. It's not "progressive" to insist a bi character can't possibly be bi, they have to be gay. Sayaka shows no sign of comphet, no sign of "just" likely Kyosuke because she feels it's "right". She shows actual, real interest in him and Kyoko, and that doesn't make her "actually a lesbian". She's bisexual. A character being bi isn't some stepping stone to them being "really" gay later on, and it isn't a dirty word to call them bi! It's an identity like any other.

Most fans ignore Kyosuke. This isn't something I think is a major issue, as Sayaka seems to lose interest in him after Rebellion (saying Hitomi deserves better). He's probably not the best guy. But that's not an excuse to erase Sayaka's identity, because she liked a not-so-great dude. A lesbian with a shitty ex isn't suddenly not a lesbian, and a bisexual person with a less than stellar former crush isn't suddenly not bisexual due to it.

Tl;dr:

[moony-rabbit]

i was literally JUST talking about how good yuri is so hard to find with a friend today, ravioli ravioli give me the yuri reccomenduoli please & thank you🙏

OMGGGGGGG I didn't expect someone to actually ask me for yuri recommendations but wow! Anways here we go!

Actual GLs

After The Curtain Call

A manhwa about the budding romance between a theatre nerd and her favorite actress. It's really short compared to other manhwa/manga on the list, only 51 chapters, but it is SOOOOOOO good. The art is nice, the characters are funny and adorable, the plot is clean cut and doesn't feel rushed at all. A perfect choice if you want to read something relaxing and comedic. It's one of my favorite manhwa!

Her Tale of Shim Chong

A historical love story of two girls from different social classes: a beggar and a noble lady, who just got married to the local chancellor. The art is simply stunning. The story works with some rather heavy themes, mainly sexism but also involve depiction of suicide and SA (none of them are realized, but still some parts can be quite triggering if you're sensitive about the subject). This one is over 80 chapters long with side stories.

(side note but apparently the author of this manhwa defended another artist who used revenge porn as art reference. It's not related to Her Tale of Shim Chong's content, but I still want to mention that just in case.)

Not So Shoujo Love Story

Now this one is a masterpiece. If you love a good laugh, you surely can't skip this one. The art is gorgeous since day one but it keeps getting better. The humor is off the chart. It isn't afraid of dabbling in heavy subjects at time either, and the drama is executed quite well (though you'll have to brace yourself for a lot of mood whiplash). There's currently two seasons, but it seems like there might be a third in the future. Anyhow, this one is a 10/10 for me.

She Loves to Cook, and She Loves to Eat

A lovely slice-of-life manga about two neighbors falling in love. I really like this manga, it's like a breeze of fresh air after reading so many silly young yuri. The two main characters are all adults, so the tone of the manga is softer than the typical schoolgirl yuri slice-of-life. I really like how fat positive it is too (definitely a big plus point). I heard this one was picked up by a publisher though, so the English translation got taken down. Idk if they have published it yet or not, but if you ever come across it, this manga is definitely worth the money.

Butterfly Soup and Butterfly Soup 2

This one is a little different to the other ones on the list, as it's a video game. The game is free to download, and there's even a mobile version so you can install it on your phone. It tells the story of four Asian American girls and their adventure with the school's baseball club. The main characters in the first game are the two on the right of the picture, and the other two are focused on in the second game. The game talks a lot about racism, queerphobia, xenophobia, and also touches on disabilities too (one of the main characters is deaf in one ear). I really like the game, and it's pretty fast to play through too. If you want to try out a yuri game, you can try out this one.

Special mention: I don't want to add another button for it bc this is getting long already, but if you're interested in GL games and want to find more, NomnomNami does have a lot of yuri games in stock for you, like her tears were my light.

The Guy She Was Interested In Wasn't A Guy At All

Okay I have no idea how did I forget to add this one to the list when I first made the draft THIS IS A CRIME. Anyways, this was one of my first GL ever. I read it in English on Manhwatop at first, stopped, then found it again in Vietnamese and have been following it since. The art is phenomenal, the interaction between the two girls are heart-fluttering, the tension is well-written and doesn't feel forced or dragged out like comedies sometimes have. I really, really, really like the main girls as well as their friends, it's just *chef's kiss*. Wish I have half of Koga's rizz really.

Not confirmed GLs/not romance-oriented but has a hefty amount of yuri hints anyways

(this is a very indulgent list because I REALLY like these ones, please understand (* _ _) 人)

Kiyo in Kyoto: From The Maiko House

A slice-of-life manga about the daily life in a maiko manor, pretty obvious from the name. What makes me add it into the list is, the manga is absolutely packed with yuri subtext. Actually, it's not even subtext anymore. Every once a dozen chapters there will be one that seems like it walks straight out of a GL. Besides the subtext, the story itself is really cute too. The manga is nearly 300 chapters now but they'll be over in the blink of an eye once you start it. If you need something to heal your soul after a long day, Kiyo in Kyoto might be the perfect choice for you.

The Dark Lord's Confession

Okay there's a million things I could say about this one and yet none of them can do it justice. It has everything: humor, drama, angst, hot women, amazing art, great music, hot women, strong lovable characters, morally grey characters with the power to divide the fandom into two. This manhwa is classified as fantasy, but the feelings between Lapis and Calla (the ones above) have been confirmed as romantic love. The lore is mindblowing, to say the least. There's some rather annoying loredumping conversations but if you are willing to close an eye for it, everything else will be more than enough to outweight the occasional exposition. Beware for mood whiplash though, this manhwa will make you keel over from laughing and kick you in the gut with a steel toe shoe in the span of three chapters.

Star Dream Idol Project

Before you say anything I'll have to let you know I am a HUGE. Fan of this one. I first read it in 6th grade and thought "oh wow these girls are def gonna be the endgame". Guess how heartbroken I was when it turned out untrue. I still have a lot of complaints about the loveline but let's put that aside for now.

This is one of my favorite manhua, not just because of the gayass friendship between the two main characters, but also because of how well-written everyone is. There's no "female side characters being evil for no reason" bullshit. All of them are treated with respect as real, valid human beings instead of canon fodders. And while I'm not fond of the love interests, I have to admit the way the author handles romance in this manhua is quite unexpected. My favorite thing about it is that it values the girls as themselves and does not force them to enter a romantic relationship at the end of the story. In fact, only one of them got married at the end, the other two are still single and happy with their life.

About the two main characters, they can only be accurately described as soulmates. It will always be them. They are the most important person in each other's life because of their own choosing. The devotion they have for each other is insane. They tick like every single boxes in childhood friends romance tropes I'm not even exaggerating. If you read it and get hooked like I was, I suggest you stop reading at the final chapter (351) and do not read the side story to avoid heartbreak.

----

That's all for now! If you do check them out, pls stop by and drop an ask if you find it good! (*^▽^*)

[trainsinanime]

Okay, I apologize, but I don't understand all these complaints about Ladynoir and Adrienette. The problem here is not whether people like Adrienette or not, but that everyone portrays Adrien purely as an accessory to Ladynoir. Maybe I'm surprising someone with this, but Adrienette is no less important than Ladynoir; it's just that their interactions are more frequent due to the "Monster of the Week" formula, while Adrien's appearances on the screen are limited to show how Gabriel isolates him. And now all of this is starting to be resolved.

To be honest, I have many questions about your reasoning. You mentioned complex feelings between them, but the problem is that there are none. Chat Noir simply decided to move on (we saw how he started distancing himself from his feelings after the illusion in "Jubilation," and in "Elation," he even explained why). His pushed behavior towards Ladybug has always been portrayed as a character flaw, considering that it sometimes led to negative consequences, which was character development. Ladybug also decided to move on as a result of everything that happened in "Elation." Therefore, there can't be any romantic complications between them at the moment.

I also don't see the show ever stating that they cannot be together because they don't know each other's secret identities. It's more about the fact that they cannot be together because Gabriel is trying to prevent it. Let's not forget that there are other couples with secret identities in the show as well.

In any case, I believe that going the Adrienette route is the right path. Going the Ladynoir route would be a step back due to a series of circumstances depicted in canon, which puts both characters' development in a corner at this stage (I could elaborate, but it would turn into a whole article). It's also not a bad thing that, despite everything happening in the second arc of the story, Ladynoir won't be together until the reveal. After all, they are still the same people. The way the Love Square is treated in the fandom, as if LS is just "Ladynoir and friends," can be quite tiresome. The hints that it will start with Adrienette were there from Season 1. It's as if people couldn't imagine that progress in romantic relationships would happen outside of Ladynoir, and now they're genuinely surprised by the outcome.

I apologize if my response seemed rude. I didn't intend to be rude. I primarily wrote that because I was surprised that you expected the collapse of Adrienette within three episodes. I understand that everyone was expecting the reveal, but it's based on the assumption that their romantic progress had to happen as Ladynoir.

Hi, thanks for the response, and don't worry, I don't think it's rude at all. That said, I disagree with parts of it.

I think you misunderstand a key part of what I was trying to say (I probably could have worded it better). I don't think either Adrinette or Ladynoir are better. I don't think "romantic progress has to happen as Ladynoir". My point is that before season 5 (even before Kwami's Choice), I thought romantic progress would involve both sides somehow. Because that is how the show has worked so far.

You're saying that post-elation, there are no complex feelings between Ladynoir. That is exactly my problem: There should be complex feelings between them! But then there just aren't any. It's very anticlimactic that both of them just go, "oh well", and move on. Frankly, between you and me, I think it's boring.

But perhaps more importantly, I think it's weird. Their feelings have grown and changed and deepened so much over the school year that lasted eight years, and that's it? They can just move on like that? It's not causing them any sleepless nights where they're wondering about their feelings? That is very surprising to me.

Aside: Chat Noir moving on from Ladybug is not good character development. For one, his crush on her was never actually a problem in itself, just the way he went about expressing it, and even that only rarely. Even if it were a problem, "moving on" isn't actually character growth. Adrien doesn't learn anything new or change his behaviour now that he's in love with Marinette, she just reciprocates his feelings. He's still the same guy as before.

Anyway, back on topic: The Love Square never used to be "Adrinette plus some other stuff", and it didn't use to be "Ladynoir plus some other stuff". It was a finely tuned balance, where the things happening as Ladynoir mattered as much as the things happening as Adrinette, but nothing was ever just a simple mirror. Adrinette grow closer, Ladynoir grow closer. Ladynoir fight and reunite, Adrinette have their own issues to solve. And most importantly, Adrinette was impossible because Ladynoir was standing in the way, and Ladynoir was impossible because Adrinette was standing in the way.

(By the way, the show actually did specifically say that they can't be together because of secret identities. Ladybug specifically told Chat Noir she can't be with him because there's someone else, in Glaciator. Adrien told Plagg and Marinette that he can't be in love with Marinette because he's in love with Ladybug, in Weredad. I'm not sure why you blame Gabriel.)

Season 5 threw that whole thing completely off balance, by literally just deleting Ladynoir for two episodes. If they had done the same thing the other way, e.g. if they had a two-parter instead where Adrien and Marinette decide they have to be in costume at all times and then started dating as Ladynoir, and then just forget about Adrinette, that would have had the exact same problems.

[weather-cluddy]

(Replied as a new post to avoid the character limit)

It doesn't bother me at all! This sort of question is something I've been turning over for quite a while, actually. I tried to make a post pointing out comparisons between non-paired prisoners, because I feel like people focus too much on number pairs without considering other thematic parallels, even with Milgram pointing some out (Eg: Shidou-Amane, Fuuta-Kotoko, Haruka-Muu, Yuno-Kazui). It stalled around Muu though, because it turns out that's a whole lot of entries, and also I wasn't sure that people would be interested in a post that's dozen of paragraphs long (though still much less elaborate than this post, of course).

Personally, I think Mikoto and Haruka have a lot in common and share many themes, but I hardly ever see it brought up. Some of it, I think, is the fact that Haruka's trauma gets a lot of focus while Mikoto's mostly implied, so there's a lot of people who don't look beneath the surface. So they just get slotted in the boxes of "sympathetic" and "unsympathetic", meaning fans miss the similarities even when it's them doing literally the same thing (Like trying to kill Es to protect their self-worth).

But at the end of the day, we have two people extremely afraid yet dependent on other people's opinions of them, whose every interaction is shadowed by the after-effects of their early-childhood trauma in a way that seems "cute" or harmless at first but really isn't, who committed premeditated murder because they saw it as the only way to make their lives bearable, who have artistic inclinations but can't find the self-confidence to pursue them, who are dealing with mental illnesses they have no (healthy) frame of reference for, who are okay with being used and abused (even physically!) so long as people approve of them...

Well, I don't want to drop the entire essay on the intro part. Onto the first section!

(I didn't particularly mean to organize it like that, but the two sections basically came out as Bokukoto- and Orekoto-centered, respectively. Funny how it worked out.)

Children and adults.

What are Haruka's goals? To be loved and cared for, even if it means taking on a subordinate role. To have his weakness acknowledged yet not be shamed for it, to be have his strengths bring joy to those he loves yet not have people ask more of him than he can give.

What are Mikoto's goals? To be a good, responsible, capable person and have people acknowledge him as such. To have his efforts rewarded, even if it means overexerting himself. To find conventional success and prove to those he loves (his mom, in particular) that they needn't worry for him.

In other words, Haruka wants to be a kid, Mikoto wants to be an adult. Haruka wants to be protected, Mikoto wants to be admired.

Why this difference? Well, I see two possiblities. One, Haruka has a golden past to retreat to, a time when he felt loved and safe. Mikoto might not have had that, or he might not remember it: after all, DID forms from trauma very early in childhood, as early as 5 years old and generally no later than 10. And of course dissociation itself tends to make remembering difficult, even before actual alters get involved.

So, Mikoto most likely doesn't remember any 'good old days' he could yearn for, either because he was extremely young or because they never existed. His only option, then, is to place his hopes on the future.

The second thing is that, in spite of Mikoto most likely having earlier trauma, Haruka is far more obvious in his dysfunction. Pretty much every person he meets will at least walk away with the feeling he's kind of weird, if not worse. This only manages to reinforce his feelings that he's inferior to everyone else, and that that's an inescapable part of his being.

Meanwhile, Mikoto can trudge through life well enough to believe that achieving what he wants is within his reach, even to be expected. Surely if he works both hard and smart, he can accomplish his goals without problem. He can get a good career if he just focuses on what he's good at, choosing 'efficiency' over his interests. And he can get everyone to like him, if he just remembers to always, always be nice to them, no matter how much he'd rather not. Then he'll reap the reward of succeeding at life!

That's just how things work, right? You put in the effort to treat others well, and your reward for doing so is to have other people do the same for you. That's the basis of society! And that's also how Mikoto makes himself feel safe. If his own actions determine other people's actions, then he can stop bad things from happening to him by just not doing anything that would invite punishment. Everyone knows monsters only eat the misbehaving kids!  Just follow the rules and everything will be fine.

(That's another big difference between Mikoto and Haruka: Haruka knows he can't do what's expected of him, so by the start of Milgram he's pretty much given up on the idea of ever being accepted or sucessful. Mikoto does believe he can cut it, but that brings its own kind of helplessness: he can never stop striving with all his might, because if he ever does fall short his self-esteem will crumble to pieces.)

The trouble is, sometimes even when you do follow the rules, other people just... refuse to reciprocate. Why is that? Did you do something wrong? Well, you can't exactly go up to them and ask. Now that would certainly be a faux pas! Clearly the only choice is to figure it out yourself by ruminating on it. All night long. Hey, remember when Mikoto said that he wouldn't be able to sleep if Kotoko didn't wish him a happy birthday? Sure sounds like somebody who worries a normal amount about gestures that might possibly be snubs.

But another convo I'd like to bring up is one with Fuuta, where Mikoto shows up unprovoked to tell Fuuta that being upset about being kidnapped is dumb and childish and will get him nowhere in life, and anyways he's just doing it for attention.

This seems a bit OOC, doesn't it? Mikoto basically never criticizes anybody. When Yuno basically calls him fake to his face, he just laughs and calls her a straight shooter. When Haruka said that he's been avoiding Mikoto because he's scary, he just shrugs and goes, that's fair, I'd have done the same. Hell, even knowing that Kotoko tried to beat him half to death, he still goes to congratulate her on her birthday. So what did Fuuta say that was so much worse than all of those?

The problem, really, isn't what Fuuta said or did to Mikoto, but how Fuuta behaves with everyone. Mikoto can put up with being openly disliked; see his interactions with Kotoko. But seeing somebody so brazenly ignore the rules he's based his life around, now that affects him a way that goes beyond Mikoto as a person.

If you asked Mikoto, he'd probably say that it's because he's sad to see somebody younger than him waste his potential with such stupid, meaningless stubborness. But really, it comes back to the fact that "nothing bad will happen as long as you behave" is one of pillar's of Mikoto's life. So how is he supposed to handle seeing somebody misbehave constantly, repeteadly, and still do just as well as him? What's that supposed to mean? Do things not actually work that way? Was he just being taken advantage of? That can't be. If being nice doesn't ensure that you'll get treated well, what does? He endured so much pain because it was supposed to pay off someday. Were all his efforts so far just make-believe, a kid hiding under the blankets thinking it'll do anything?

No, no, no. It's the others who are wrong. All his suffering until now was meaningful and helpful. He knows what he must do and he's not going to stray from the right path. Those who do are just bringing punishment down onto themselves. And while he's not capable of consciously acknowledging his anger, he can always try to share some "friendly advice" about what happens to those who fight against forces greater than themselves. You can't win those battles. He never won, so of course you can't win them. Stop struggling, it's for your own good.

(Amane-Mikoto parallels? In my Haruka-Mikoto parallels post? It's more likely than you think!)

Saviors and weaklings

You might be thinking that the title says it all, really. Haruka is a weakling, Orekoto is a savior, those are opposites, the end.

Well, yes, but it's not quite that simple.

Haruka in the second trial has also taken on a protector role towards Muu. This is a fairly uncontroversial reading, so let's go take a closer look at their similarities:

-Both Haruka and Orekoto put emphasis on Es not scaring/stressing their charge any further.

-In both cases, what they're looking for is acknowledgement from the one they're protecting and a sense of being useful ("Rely on me, praise me with your song, I am your savior")

-Haruka says that Muu is the reason why he can be who he is now. The same could be said for Bokukoto and Orekoto: without the latter, the former would not be able to remain his current self.

-At the same time, the 'saviors' need their charges, just as if not more than the other way around. Haruka's life has revolved around the concept of mothers since basically forever, and we literally don't know a single thing about Orekoto outside of his role. Honestly, considering he only seems to come out during stressful situations, it's possible even he doesn't know who he is outside of being Mikoto's savior.

Even the structures of Metamorphosis of the Weak and John Doe are similar. Consider:

-The interrogation starts with the prisoner being fairly unthreatening. Mikoto is rather nervous at the start, but as soon as Es starts pretending to entertain the idea that he really hasn't committed any murders, he calms down significantly. -The prisoners feel safe thanks to Es' temporary affirmation, but this is soon swept away by Es themselves. Even as the prisoners become more and more obviously distressed, Es presses on dispassionately.

-Eventually, they become totally overwhelmed by emotion and attempt to kill Es. Haruka is stopped by Milgram's rules, Orekoto isn't.

-At this point, a different prisoner makes their appearance, whether physically or just in conversation, and the rest of the drama revolves around them. In John Doe it's of course Kotoko fighting off Mikoto, after which he's literally unconscious for the rest of the VD (except for one line), and instead the remaining time is dedicated to Kotoko and her deal.

For Metamorphosis, it's when Haruka proclaims that Muu is his real mom and starts talking about their relationship. In both cases, there's a clear shift in focus from the OG character themselves to how their actions would affect Milgram overall (Kotoko offering to stop Mikoto if he attacks again, Haruka threatening suicide).

Well, we can probably agree that Haruka is a savior of a sort. But can we close the circle and bring the comparison back around? Is Orekoto also a weakling of a sort?

To answer this, we'll need to define weakness. For this, I'll actually refer not to Haruka's voice drama's, but to Muu's. Namely, this part in Queen B:

"Es: (…) One-sided violence and mistreatment… I’m sure it was difficult to handle. It’s not unreasonable to come to the conclusion that murder is the only way for a weak person to get out of that. That’s exactly why I forgave you." Muu: Yeah… If I hadn’t done that, I could have died some day."

We hear Haruka argue something similar after Es tears him down, asking "So what should I have done!? Was I supposed to give up on myself too!?" So we could say that a weak person is somebody who's trapped by their circumstances, somebody with the deck stacked so far against them that they have no choice but to take extreme measures.

I think that's pretty much how Orekoto views his own situation. Looking at his parts of MeMe, most of the what-if sentences basically come down to "I don't want to do this, but I can't not do it either". We also have lyrics like "It’s like what’s wrong isn’t wrong" and "Is this selfish?", showing that Orekoto is also full of self-doubt about this being the right thing, but doesn't see any other choice. After all, "Hurting it, holding it down, it doesn’t change anything, does it? Ahhh, It’s the same anywhere I go".

Like Haruka, nothing he tries seems to work and he's desperately trying to survive in any way he can. Whether this "death" is on a purely emotional level or if, like Muu, it's hinting at suicide ("Maybe it’s ok to try to keep on living"), he needs to get away. It doesn't matter anymore if it's "good", so long as it works.

Of course, I'm sure Orekoto wouldn't take well to the idea that he's weak. His breakdown in John Doe was, of course, because of Es pushing Bokukoto, but his rant was almost entirely focused on how weak and pathetic Es was. It seems that in that he resembles Fuuta (who was, after all, the first prisoner to try violence): when he's scared, he tries to intimidate the threat to feel safer.

(Of course, there's something to be said for Haruka also despising his own weakness, even if his reaction to it is to worship others for being different rather than project this hatred onto them.)

(And while we're in the topic of Fuuta, it's worth noting that he's also part of the overall protector theme spanning several characters. He even relates to Haruka and Mikoto directly, in that those two are the ones he picked as "weak" people he needed to look out for)

Muu and Haruka, even before the second trial, they were both weaklings and saviors of the weak (themselves). But this doesn't apply to Mikoto, because the roles are split between the alters. There's a clear separation between the 'good', pitiable, socially acceptable Bokukoto and the 'bad' and violent Orekoto. And you know where else we see something like this? Haruka's MVs.

This is most obvious in Weakness, where the separation is at its starkest, to the point where many people didn't think Haruka's younger self was him at all. Basically, every bad thing in the video is attributed to older Haruka. Li'l Haruka plays happily with his maybe-sister, older Haruka attacks her. Li'l Haruka pets his dog while his mom smiles by his side, until older Haruka bashes its skull in. And of course, in the end older Haruka is so consumed by hatred that he chokes his terrified younger self to death. Not the first time he attacks him(self) either; back at almost the start, older Haruka shoves him into a crayon puddle, with the camera making sure to show kid Haruka's terrified expression and Haruka's cold glare.

(I want to point out the dog scene in particular. Specifically, how the younger Haruka is horrified to find blood on his hands even though he never actually laid hands on the dog. This is quite reminiscent of the scene in MeMe where Mikoto becomes afraid of his reflection's evil expression and falls backwards, only to have the devil card fall on him and corrupt all the water into blood. But an interesting difference is how, while Mikoto not remembering is just a literal retelling of events, the same shouldn't apply to Haruka. And if the girl is the same age in AKAA and in Weakness, suggested by the fact she's dressed the same in both, then she couldn't have been playing with same-age Haruka either.)

In AKAA this divide into a good, young Haruka and a bad, older Haruka is less stark, presumably because after a forgiven verdict Haruka feels less disconnected from his past as a 'good kid'. It's not gone, however. We do see his younger self kill fish and a butterfly, but the harder-hitting murders of the dog (and possibly the girl, it's hard to tell) are left to his 17-years-old self. Not to mention the sequence when his mother opens the door, which is probably the part where Haruka is framed in the most threatening way across the entire MV. That too shows us only the current Haruka, notable because just seconds before it kept switching between the two of them.

At the same time, there's also a disconnect in Weakness between current Haruka and his murders. When we see him killing somebody he actually killed in real life (that is, the girl and the dog), it's followed shortly by him waking up in his bed, framing it all as just a dream. This is very similar to how in MeMe the second scene shows Orekoto killing somebody, with the third starting with Bokukoto gently waking up, completely unaware. There's of course also the line "I’m probably just having a bad dream, I need to wake up soon", which only drives it further home.

Well, I think that wraps up my points. To TL;DR it, some themes to consider are: fixated on past/fixated on future, giving up/trying too hard, dependence on others, wanting to feel useful, black and white thinking re: oneself and viewpoints warped by childhood trauma.

For a bit of extra fun, I'd like to note some shared visual motifs between MeMe, Weakness and All-Knowing and All Agony. There won't be much meaning analysis from me here, so feel free to supply your own.

Music Videos

(Some of the screenshots repeat, that's intentional)

Surrounded by eyes: Most obvious in Weakness, but the Hanged Man in Mikoto's shirt (and less obviously, the Magician) also show something similar.

Water turning into blood: This one is somewhat dificult to show in still screenshots, but it's present in both MeMe, Weakness (when one of Haruka's teardrops fall onto the water) and arguably AKAA as well.

Red skies with a moon visible: Interestingly, this one seems to be associated with younger Haruka in Weakness (most obvious at the very start, when he and older Haruka switch rapidly, with the scene outside the window also changing). There's one very obvious moon in a red sky near the end of MeMe, but there might be another one shown in the Fool card. Lots of Mikoto's cards show circles in the upper corner of the cards (but interestingly in the Hanged Man it's at the bottom, near their head, like an halo). Whether we can consider them all moons is up to speculation, but few of them match the color scheme anyways. Speaking of which, while Weakness almost always uses grey/blue moons with red skies, there are two exceptions: when Haruka is shown killing the dog (blue sky, red moon) and in a piece of official art that shows a red moon on a red sky.

Confusion between indoors and outdoors: If you notice, literally everything in Weakness happens indoors, except for the bits where Haruka is floating in water. Even the forest has floorboards, except for a single scene. The opposite also happens: we see kid Haruka out for a walk with his mom, but they're still inside the house, with the city just being images on the wall. Meanwhile, the mindscape in MeMe shows a ruin (no walls) on an endlessly extending sea and sky (natural-ish settings), but it also reflects the structure of Mikoto's house. So is it inside or outside? Looking at the shoes, both Mikoto and younger Haruka are dressed as though they're outside, but older Haruka is wearing slippers.

Reflections not matching "reality": Note how neither Mikoto nor the coffee table show up in the water in the second image, or how the paintings go from having no reflection to having each other's reflection, with those facing the wrong way. The fourth and fifth images are also an interesting example of the reflections not even matching each other, even though the timing and framing suggest we're still looking at the same scene.

[an-extrodinary-blog-for-el-topo]

How is your relationship with your friends?

...do you Miss Black Sheep?

(yes hi creator is back anyways Anon, when you Anon, Anon when I catch you Anon, Anon when I catch you anon)

It's very nice..a lot of things are nice actually.

Crackle, he's in my opinion, the best..ahem, don't tell Le Chèvre that...thank you.

As I was saying, he is very, very fun to be around with, no wonder Black Sheep saw him as an older brother. I admit that there was a time where I thought as well, but now I don't, I was at least 19 back then......wait..I can't be that old..how old am I even..like..24 ..I think..then, I turn 25..in less than a month..oh. 😨

Tigress is uhm, okay to be with. I don't approve of her behaviour, especially with Black Sheep, but she can lighten the mood ever so barely. I don't think she's a bad person, more of a troubled one..VILE does contain many people with things troubling them, I'm no exception either. The only person she actually gets along with is Le Chèvre, but they only just make fun and gossip. I hope she changes soon or later, she can take her time.

If I start talking about Le Chèvre I might just end up making it as long as it already is. Uhm.. where to begin..there's a word I'm looking for..I know it in Tagalog and Spanish but I forgot the English saying of it..ehh..oh wait..uh..forgot it at this point I'll just say it in Spanish..it is "marilag"..no wait that's Tagalog.."majestuoso" is the Spanish term, I wonder why I mix them up often, it's not they are the same language..

Our relationship is better than more couples in my opinion. We were basically, inseparable on the island. But now that we are actually dating it's more like the average married couple who has been together for at least twenty-years, and we aren't even married (yet.) ..no wait..(actually they are -creator said so) hold on, me having completed a quarter of my life is messing with my head..

Our relationship isn't bad, it's just that some days he's actually nice to me and some days he treats me like he treats everyone else, and someday he's not nice to himself. Tigress calls him a uhm, "fem queen"..? Is that just some American label..or uh... But if I ask him to go and let's say, jump off a cliff, he would do it's just that he'll be questioning heavily before he eventually does it, that counts, not that I am going to tell actually to do it..

That last of your ask though, I don't like being questioned a lot. If I say what I want to say here then The Faculty would get involved, or then Le Chèvre would find it and one) try to make me not miss her, or 2) look for makeup remover because he would be crying with me. And yes I did just admit I do cry whenever I think about Black Sheep.

Yes, I miss her, we all miss her. All except Tigress to be clear..Tigress technically does miss her, just not in the way you would expect, like, miss making her life just hard for no reason.

Le Chèvre used to say back on the island that I'm way more suited for the older brother role than Crackle because of the amount of time I spent with her back on the island before graduation. Yes we did have some good times, but I don't believe that. I'm more of a side character, while she's the main character, I would say.

I guess it wouldn't be right to call her Black Sheep because now she's going by Carmen SanDiego..I don't think Carmen was in the wrong when she left the island. Sure, having riches and prosperity is nice but, she didn't believe in the thing you'll have to do in order to gain that. And I confess that sometimes I mess around with the things set up for my capers sometimes just to make it easier for her. But then in the process, Le Chèvre gets more annoyed by the fact she can capture her for good, i think he is just either annoyed or mad at her for what she did that day.

Now that I'm writing this I still question why Shadow-san decided to fail Black Sheep when she was the best in the class. She has yet to tell me that, but that's the day I get to make cookies with her again like we did back on the island.

👋

(hi creator is back Anon I will find you and when I find you no one else will find you after that okay okay good night Anon)

[capybaraonabicycle]

Hiya! For the writers truth & dare ask game, I'd love to know about..

🕯️On a scale from 1 to 10, how much do you enjoy editing? Why is that?

🍄Share a headcanon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

❄️What's a dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best? (also, which character would be involved)

🌿Give some advice on writer's block and low creativity (or energy⚡if you like)

🏜️What's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?

🌸Do you have any pets? If you do, post some pictures of them

I'm btw planning on reading more Righting Reflex in the evening, I just really need to get at least one and a half more tasks done today for my portfolio. Sending you much love 💚🦎

Thank you, love!! This is way too long, so I will put it under a 'read more'

🕯️On a scale from 1 to 10, how much do you enjoy editing? Why is that?

Maybe a 3? Like, I don't hate it but I'm not too fond of it either. I enjoy reading what I have written more often than not and I like putting [GERMAN WORD] or [TBD - WRITE SMTH ABOUT XY] ever so often while writing, but I don't enjoy changing the story afterwards much. I rarely change big things, usually only a scene or two and a few expressions. That said, I have to read every scene like 15 times before posting to scour for errors - and I am certain I am missing so many anyway.

🍄Share a headcanon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

Okay, let's go with fugitive Doctor/River. (Did you expect this by any chance? ;) )

You know this bit:

source

[ID: two gifs from The Husbands of River Song of River saying "Do you know who you remind me of? My second wife!". end ID]

People have been speculating that she is talking about 13, which I get, definitely. But I want to argue that it is the superior interpretation that she would be talking about the fugitive Doctor (or another incarnation the Doctor has forgotten about but where would be the fun in that?). For the following reasons:

Vibes. This is the important point. River says 12 reminds her of the wife, so they have to be alike-ish. And I feel like 12 and the fugitive Doctor have a certain similarity in their demeanour. I think a big thing is how they hold themselves upright, actually, but also the whole Danny calling 12 an officer when the fugitive Doctor actually is one. Also the underlying kindness both of them possess and the end-life-crisis. They both lose all of their companions (Clara, Bill and Nardole vs Karvanista, Gat and Lee - one lives on but they can never see them again/forget about them, the other two die (or that's what they believe at least) and it is their fault) and I would argue they both are thinking about not regenerating this time. (I reckon the fugitive Doctor does not have a choice though.)

Loss. See the last point. The Doctor loses everything in fotj. Give her her wife, at least, please. Let River bring her some love and companionship <3 13 loses a lot as well but she's got Yaz. Which also leads us to:

Thasmin. Like, you know, if River had been tangibly in the 13th Doctor's life in any way, thasmin would have kissed. 100%. They didn't, so River didn't marry 13, simple as that.

Timelines. River does not know about more faces of the Doctor and well, 13 is older than 12. Of course, she could lie to her and yes, River gets married a little carelessly, so she might have married some John Smith!13. But if she met the fugitive Doctor - who seems very different from the timelord she knows and has no recollection of the Doctor's life, it would be easy for her to draw the conclusion that the Doctor is just some other person going by that name. And the fugitive Doctor would forget about her, of course. There's also a good possibility, River isn't actually married to the Doctor but to Ruth.

Time, Doctor's side. Honestly, 13 just doesn't have enough time to get married to River. Am I still hoping we will get those two on screen (or audio) together? Of course! But 13 is kinda busy, most of the time we either see her with the fam (who don't know River, see lotsd) or very occupied with stuff (like apocalypses or prison).

So, yeah, headcanon: The fugitive Doctor is River's second wife.

(The first is Cleopatra, right? Like Idk if there is canon confirmation but it feels true.)

❄️What's a dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best? (also, which character would be involved)

Okay, when I read this question, I thought I wouldn't have any idea. But I have. Several. Lets start. Fics I would will into existence if I could:

Full-length Little VVomen.

I know we won't get the movie, but I'll gladly take it as a novel fic. Just for an explanation: Little VVomen is a parody trailer for a crossover of Louisa May Alcott's Little Women and the horror movie VVitch (I assume, I don't actually know VVitch). And it is glorious. Just -

- If it's about a girl, make sure she's married by the end. - Does it have to be to a man?

lives in my head rent free. I want a full story of Jo March saying gay rights, writing spells and sacrificing innocent men, pretty please <3 And I really, really want to know what's up with the Sean!devil.

This is the trailer btw:

Anyone write this please? (If I could choose, I'd ask Sean and Sinead who wrote the trailer, but I fear, I am already stretching the definition of fic here and using the authors of the og trailer probably defeats the purpose of this question.)

2. Strax fairytale!! written by you :)

Strax as a fairytale protagonist is SUCH an inspired idea and I am hoping very much that you will get round to it some day. But I can't really tell you anything about that that you don't know better yourself.

Or, maybe, I can: I have become kinda enarmoured with the 'Strax as the faithful Johannes' idea, I have always adored that tale, mainly for the tragedy and extremely strong friendship theme. Like, it is so clear that the king's most important relationship is his friendship to his servant. The princess is lovely but they barely know each other, yet. And I think there is SO much potential to improve the abduction scene and the ending. So, yeah, I have been turning that around in my head a bit.

But no matter which tale you will pick, if you ever write a fic for him, I am sure I will absolutely love it!

(also, like, I could mention any of the fairytale ideas you have told me about, here)

3. Heather is an integral part of s10 by @marvellouspinecone

You remember that genius powerpoint Pine made, I assume? Wouldn't it be spectacular if someone wrote that as a fic for me to read? I would choose Pine as the author because she understands the vision best, of course. But, like, I am so grateful already that the powerpoint exists for me to read and dream about :)

(Hi, Pine, not sure you want to read the whole post, but you might see the tag. This is not a request, please don't understand it as such, because that would be incredibly impudent on my part. This is just fancy ideas of mine and a praise to your vision <3)

4. Tenteen is played by Jo Martin by DiscipleOfBrad

So, I actually enjoyed the 60th anniversary (at least wild blue yonder, that much very much had a premise of my type of dw ep) but I still believe we could have done better than bringing back dt for the umpteenth time. (Listen, he is lovely, don't get me wrong, and I liked '14' too, but just - )

I have written a post about why I think making the fugitive Doctor's face return would have been a more interesting choice and I would still love to read it as a fic.

I don't really care whether it would be a simple retelling of the three eps with her instead of tenteen or a completely different tale. I WOULD like to see Donna though (because can you imagine?? Also that scene where Donna just acts like she knows the Doctor all of a sudden? When the Doctor doesn't even really know herself but feels like she should?) and if we could spring for some Karvanista on top, that'd be ace <3

I would give this one to DiscipleOfBrad because I trust them to write a convincing fugitive Doctor. I really enjoyed her in The Cul-de-Sac (which btw I can highly recommend if you'd like some soft thasmin and an intriguing premise. There is a heavy side of whouffaldi, though, I'm not sure whether that is your thing?).

🌿Give some advice on writer's block and low creativity (or energy⚡if you like)

I feel like it always helps me to get myself into a 'I can't do anything else now anyway' situation? That's why trainrides are so good for writing. I just need to be in a situation where I can't take care of more pressing matters, so it won't feel overwhelming if I don't take care of them?

Like, I will rather scroll tumblr than work on my thesis but I won't write. But if I am away from wifi, I might not be able to work on the thesis anyway, so I will easier find the peace of mind (and hence energy and creativity) to write?

Idk maybe that's just me. Maybe it's not working at all either. Honestly, I don't quite know where energy, creativity or motivation to write come from. They just knock and then they're there.

🏜️What's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?

Well, obviously, I adore long comments, who doesn't? But just saying 'long' feels both greedy and like cheating, so let's talk content.

I think, what excites me most in a comment is when I can sense the enthousiasm? It doesn't necessarily have to be for the content of my fic, I had someone write 'YOU MADE A CROSSOVER FOR THESE TWO FANDOMS?? THEY'RE MY FAVOURITE!!" and it made me smile for a day. Just, I write those things because I love the characters and themes and if someone shows that they share this passion? That's community, that's what we're searching for, isn't it?

But also I got a comment today that was just a bunch of predictions about the next chapter of my current fic and that felt amazing! Generally, when people notice things or I feel they have been paying attention, that is SO GOOD. That's probably also why we love long comments. I mean, generally, every second you spend reading the comment is gold, so the longer the comment the more seconds there are, but also a long comment will usually go into detail. Make predictions. Notice things. Talk about how they perceive the characters and why something made sense/surprised them. Quote your fic back to you. And like, all of that is so much fun. It's like reading your story again, remembering why you wrote it. It's the best feeling in the world.

I very dearly love comments.

🌸Do you have any pets? If you do, post some pictures of them

I don't 😭 The place where I live doesn't allow pets and besides, I am away a lot and not planning on staying in this town much longer anyway. So, yeah, it'd be difficult to have a pet. I really, really want to though. Preferably a cat but I'd be so happy with a dog as well. Or a turtle? Or bunny? Or a lizard? I think you could make me happy with almost any mammal and many types of reptiles <3 (not much into insects or fish though. And I feel weird about birds in cages.)

[catsandgoodbooks]

20 Questions for Writers

Tagged by @bleue-flora (I am sorry it took so long it's been like a month I was procrastinating)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

22, because my brain hates to stay focused on one idea at a time and I just have to make everything worse. I've got a lot more half-formed ideas and three-paragraph beginnings of fanfiction too <3

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

124,920 - that's...a lot. And it's only been about a year, so yay!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Dream SMP. I'm lurking in a couple other fandoms (mostly the Locked Tomb and Dragon Age), but I haven't written anything for those yet.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

1. Off the Planned Course

Not that surprising because it's one of the fics I've been writing the longest, is the longest of my actual stories (so not counting Whumptober stuff), and it also has the most people reading it (I blame including the Syndicate for that). It's probably my favorite too, so the validation is really nice (even if I keep getting writer-blocked by it).

2. Unfortunate Circumstances

Also one of the long ones, so it makes sense that it's on this list. Also, literally the second Dream SMP fic idea I ever had, so it's great that it's still going.

3. Easier Said Than Done

This one I kind of feel bad about - I decided to change a few details a while ago and I'm still not done with editing the old stuff so I can start on new chapters, so I really haven't been writing much for it recently (i.e in the past six months). Maybe this will get me to work on it again but I wouldn't hold out hope. It's not abandoned, but it's still basically on hiatus.

4. Shared Scars

I really like this one, but I didn't really expect anyone would read it because it was just a random AU with no basis in canon about two side characters, y'know? It's just really fun to write.

5. Dive Deep Into The Dark

This one is the one that surprised me, because it's just a collection of Whumptober oneshots that I wrote in like an hour each. But, hey, apparently people liked that, so yay?

5. Do you reply to comments? Why or why not?

Whenever I can, because they're taking the time out of their day to read my stuff and going the extra step of leaving a comment, and because I just like talking about my stories and stuff <3

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Okay, this and the next question are kind of difficult because I am allergic to finishing anything, ever, and that means I have to stick to oneshots, but I'd say either everything I've ever written for a Whumptober prompt (because those are all terrible, basically) or Old Habits Die Hard (Old Reliances Die Harder) because it's an angsty canon-compliant (ish) oneshot where nothing is resolved and everything is just terrible. In my longer fics, I don't really plan for tragic endings, because the ending should be happy even if the journey there wasn't, or else the whole things sad and there's not really any point.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Again, only oneshots count for this, so I'd probably say burn the scorecards, balance out the scales, because the ending is hopeful and probably the best possible outcome via rivals duo.

8. Do you get hate on your fic?

Not really, which is great. The most I ever get is a confused comment or someone making assumptions, and that's all fine.

9. Do you write smut?

No, and I don't plan to.

10. Do you write crossovers?

No, but I have some ideas I might write that involve crossovers and I might write them eventually.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, I have not <3

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

No, but I would like to in the future.

14. What‘s your all-time favorite ship?

Drunz, for sure. It's the ship that really got me into the fandom and I've always liked that sort of toxic codependence even though they're terrible for each other.

15. What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

All of them? Well, besides that, I'd probably have to say Off the Planned Course, because, although I really love it, I have no idea how to end that thing or when.

16. What’s your writing strengths?

Absolutely no idea, maybe internal monologues? It's hard to evaluate your own writing.

17. What’s your writing weaknesses?

Dialogue. 100% dialogue. I get in my head about if it sounds natural or if anyone would ever say that or if I'm writing a character right and then it turns about clunky because I'm too busy worrying about it.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I don't have a problem with it, but you should provide translations in that situation so the readers have context and know what's going on.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Dream SMP

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

Probably Off the Planned Course, there are some chapters were I was just having the time of my life writing that thing even if they were immediately followed by two months of struggle.

Not tagging anyone because it's been ages and I'm bad at doing anything quickly so yeah. Also, it's my birthday today and time is really fucking weird <3

[sailforvalinor]

OC Mundane Tag Game

Tagged by @rainintheevening--thanks for the tag!

Rules: Pick an oc you'd like to talk about and answer the questions for them! Then tag ten people, or as many as you can. 'Underdeveloped character I adopted' is fine, too! Absolutely no pressure to play, though.

Also, if some of it can't apply to your ocs, just answer what would be the answer - like if they're in a historical setting, they likely can't watch movies, but what is a movie they'd like?

(Also, most people have many ocs, so feel free to retag people and answer as many times as you get tagged! Or get really wild and just answer for as many ocs as you'd like! :D)

I think I'm gonna talk about Theodore Ace, one of my Doctor Who ocs, because I've been writing about him lately and I love him so much.

1. What is their favorite movie?

Theo hails from the 1830's (aka the end of the Georgian Era and the beginning of the Victorian Era), so of course he didn't have access to films then, but once he gets involved in time travel shenaniganery with Joker (my other oc, female Time Lord) and she starts introducing him to what she considers the most important cultural zeitgeists, he of course watched Lord of the Rings. He didn't cry. Why would he cry. Why would you even ask that. Stop looking at him like that, of course he didn't cry-- (the preservation of honor and chivalry and the ultimate triumph of good over evil got to him, okay).

Also, not a movie, but he's been a really big fan of Arthurian legend since he was very little, and probably had a heck of a time--a heck of a time calling out the textual inaccuracies, that is.

(No, he didn't cry at the end. He didn't. Stop calling him a liar.)

2. What is their favorite season?

I think probably fall, though I couldn't tell you why.

3. What do they find annoying?

He's not a fan of surprises. Joker absolutely loves them though, and has a tendency to fly their TARDIS to places and times that she thinks he will like without telling them where they're going, but this just makes him very grumpy, even if he does end up liking where they're going. The dear needs a plan. As their relationship progresses, Joker learns to compensate for his need for structure and he learns to loosen up a bit, though.

4. How would they like to spend their Christmas or equivalent holiday?

Theodore's Christmases growing up usually consisted of extravagant parties put on by his father and siblings, and those parties were usually miserable, as they were social power plays more than anything else. Thus, his ideal Christmas is either a) something really, really low-key or b) something completely different than what he's used to. As Doctor Who has a tradition about Christmas specials, I should probably find them something fun to do--I'll have to think about that.

5. Do they play an instrument? If so, what? How good are they at it?

This could be subject to change, but I don't think he does (unless Joker teaches him a little bit of guitar at some point). He's a half-decent singer though--he tries to hide his interest initially, but he loves discovering new music on their travels, and late 90s/early 00s punk rock was a revelation for him. He'll sing if he's by himself and he's blasting the music so loud he doesn't think anyone will be able to hear him--Joker has walked into the TARDIS to him belting Yellowcard's "Ocean Avenue" in another room, but she'd never tell him that she heard. He's also a good dancer, which he isn't actually that embarrassed about--but of course, he comes from a time where that skill was expected of him.

6. What's their favorite meal to eat?

He's fairly simple in this respect: toast and jam and black coffee.

7. Do they have a favorite video game or board game?

He doesn't strike me much as a video game guy (though he'd watch Joker play them), but I feel like he would be terrifyingly good at Risk and chess.

8. Do they celebrate their birthday?

As a child, his birthday was made into an extravagant affair in a similar manner to Christmas, which of course he absolutely hated, and once he joins Joker on her TARDIS, it becomes pretty difficult to keep track of things like birthdays. He never plans to celebrate it, but Joker somehow keeps track, and as she learns his dislike for surprises, lets him "take the reins" so to speak on the TARDIS his first birthday together and lets him decide everything they do that day. She always tries to make a big deal out of it for him, as she knows how neglected he was as a child and knows that pain, as she never had anyone to celebrate her birthday with growing up (or even the knowledge of when it was).

9. What's their bedtime routine?

Despite his need for schedules, he can often be a bit of an insomniac (though sometimes not by choice). That combined with the aforementioned time-travel shenaniganery means that there is usually very little "routine," but it usually always involves a) a cup of something hot (sometimes even coffee, he needs help) and b) a large stack of books.

10. What's an oc (or canon character) that they like to spend time around? What do they tend to do together?

He and Rose Tyler have a wonderful friendship built on fellow-companion-comradery, though they didn't originally click well when they first met--Rose was put off by how stuffy and rigid he is (not to mention he's five years older than her), and Theodore was just rather baffled by her immaturity and frustrated by her reckless behavior. They are complete opposites in so many ways, but eventually they bond after saving each other's lives a few times. Rose calls him "Teddy," and since she has no siblings and all of Theo's are terrible, they kind of think of each other as the sibling they never had. They often tease each other about how dead gone they are on their respective Time Lords, even while they vehemently deny that they have any such feeling for their own Time Lord.

Ten and Rose often make fun of Joker and Theo's will-they-won't-they behind their back, and vice-versa. The irony is lost on both parties.

Tagging @kanerallels @accidental-spice @o-lei-o-lai-o-lord and anyone else who has an oc they'd like to talk about!

[card-queen]

Writer Q&A Tag

I am truly blessed! Thank you so much for the tag @maskedemerald! It really means the world to me!! I'd love to do more tag game things just to get involved or join a writing group of some kind!

What motivates you to write?

Disappointment, I guess? A lot of things I read/watch/play don't go places I want to see, don't explore ideas I want to hear about, don't show the effects of events on characters I think should be there. It sounds all negative, I know, but it's really not. Nothing gets me fired up quite like getting mad at the things that should have been.

A line/short snippet of your writing that you are most proud/happy of. If not maybe share a line of someone else's work that you love (just please credit them)

Well, I'm not sure on this one. I still consider myself pretty green as a writer, so I don't think I've written anything that stands out just yet. I'll grab this from one of my little writing challenges. I grabbed two random characters and a vague prompt to write a little scene about. It was surprisingly fun as I hadn't actually written for Velena yet.

‘That’s the funny thing about the truth, it doesn’t seem to change.’ ‘You truly expect me to believe that utter drivel about it being luck that you survived?’ ‘I don’t expect anything,’ Hughwen retorted in a predictable manner. Velena almost heard the words before they came out of Hughwen’s mouth. Was he becoming more predictable? Or was she? ‘You have your ungrateful life while your comrades don’t. How many good men died today instead of you?’ ‘I have no idea, I didn’t think to count,’ Hughwen said coolly. Velena felt something in the atmosphere change. Either she was getting to him, or Hughwen had decided he no longer wished to cooperate. ‘But I can tell you this, not that you asked: few of those men were “good men”.’ Velena looked Hughwen up and down. His face bore that smirk she had grown to loathe in the short time she had known her prisoner. His eyes showed a mixture of challenge and defiance. He had decided he was done for the day. She could see it.

Which OC makes you smile every time you think/talk about them and what are they like?

I'll say Cas for the sake of the question but quite honestly, I find myself getting wrapped up and enjoying thinking/talking about my characters without even realising it. Each character has something really enjoyable or challenging about them that makes them fun to write. The world, the story, the factions and forces within the world, the other characters and their struggles -- they all take root in the other characters as well, so even if you don't find their personality to be enjoyable, their perspective on matters, characters, past knowledge etc. often makes them stand out as enjoyable to me. Anyway, to answer the question: Cas' endless struggle to build an image of himself isn't really true to him to combat the stigma of a reputation that also isn't true to him. He pours himself into duty, over-exerts to the point of breaking and denies some of his stronger aspects because they might make him look like the criminal people see him as. He's exactly what I want from a main character: vibrant and adventurous, with a good heart and a rogue's mentality and a sucker for outcasts and black sheep.

What process of writing do you enjoy the most?

Easy answer: dialogue. It's fun to craft the ways characters say what they mean to say. Complex answer: that moment in the third or so draft, when you're looking at your overview and you see a common thread you didn't notice before and suddenly a whole wave of thematic resonance just clicks into place.

What part of writing do you think you are the best at? (Yes stroke your own ego it's okay)

I can't truly say yet. I think dialogue but to be honest, not many people actually read my work. Especially not now that I've started from scratch again!

What is something in the writeblr community is most enjoyable?

Silly asks, memes and just fun-building questions. Characters are simultaneously tools that fulfil a purpose within the story they inhabit, and ALSO they are vessels of personality and joy that bring the life to events and scenarios. You really need to have fun with and love your characters beyond their purpose and silly headcanon questions and fun doodles often do just that!

A writing tool/device you use that helps you with writing? (It could be speech to text, a writing program etc)

Enneagram, I guess. For me, I like to see similarities around where I'm aiming to feel grounded. The vast infinity of everything is really daunting and I do my best to avoid thinking about things that 'could be anything'. Anything = too much = I'm drowning. I've always tried to connect my work to other things to feel less disjointed but there was always something that didn't feel right or help me all that much. Everyone always went to TVTropes but I really didn't like to. Thank goodness I found something that worked for me!

A piece of worldbuilding that you like in your own story? (It could be the magic system, a particular place in the story, a law etc)

It's not so much one thing that I like the most, it's the fallout and effects of that thing. From this unspecified event, my world has:

The Runes of Magic as it is known. People are born under the sign of two or three Gods, with one God being their patron and thus, their birth element.

From Magic, there is Soulfire. Soulfire is the birth element dying and needing to be Cleansed. Uncleansed Soulfire can create Rifts and if a body with Uncleansed Soulfire is eaten by a beast or animal, they will transform into a Monster during an Athyric Moon.

Speaking of, Magic and Gods ties into the Godmoon or Athyric Moon. A monthly event that most Continental countries base their calendars on. A full-moon event that causes all Magic to be enhanced or brought to full power.

With Athyric Moons & Magic, there are engineers and tinkerers who use the Runes of Magic to make crystals and jewellery to perform simple tasks, like a Ice chests to keep stored food frozen, Heatstones for warming public baths, Crystal lamps to give off a faint glow at night, etc. These devices are designed to last the month then be recharged by the Athyric Moon.

Returning back to the original point with Gods & the Runes, we have the religions that populate the world. Each having different core beliefs, rules, taboos and ways of life based on the Virtues of the God that governed that land.

and so on, and so on...

Things in worldbuilding don't exist in a vacuum. If something is created, it may make something else in the world impractical or impossible. There may be something else that needs to be created alongside it to make sure that life would be sustainable for those in the world or area. These are areas where you can really have a lot of fun!

What piece of advice would you say to encourage others to write if they are having a rough patch?

My first goal for my day is always to write. If I can't write, then I'll watch, read or play something that might give me ideas or inspiration. If I'm not in the right mind for that, I spend time with my sisters and the dogs, and remember what I'm doing it all for.

Don't sweat the details, honestly. Some days/weeks/months just suck and it's good to recognise when it happens so you can just hit the eject button. Things tend to have a way of working themselves out. I find that if you're blocked when writing, there's something there that's bugging you and you might not even know what it is. The answer will be right around the corner before you know it, just don't go looking for it. Relax your brain, the answers will come find you.

Tag some people whose works you love/have been your biggest supporters

I can only really tag @maskedemerald, @yunidraws, @albicantknight, @snow-the-wanderer, @prismshard, @reneethegreatandpowerful and @merwetketet! Many of whom are inactive, I know, but I don't know anybody else!!

If you see this and want to do it, then pretend I tagged you, please! I need more friends here.

[tokiro07]

What did you think of Red Hood 2

The ten seconds it took me to understand what the hell you were talking about might as well have been an eternity with all of the thoughts that went through my mind

"Red...Hood...? ...Hoodwinked 2??? No, no, why would anyone ever talk to me about Hoodwinked, I haven't seen the first one since I was a kid and I've never mentioned it to anyone...

"Oh! Was there a sequel to Under the Red Hood?? I haven't been keeping up with the DC animated movies in a bit, so maybe there's a new one! Wait...no, no, that can't be it, they're working on the Tomorrowverse now, they wouldn't backtrack like that, would they...

"This is one of the Undead Unluck folks, maybe...something happened in this week's chapter that they're making a joke about? But what...

"...Red Hood is a manga. That I read in its entirety. It had...the boy with an axe...LIKE ICE-HEAD GILL, THE NEW MANGA IN JUMP"

While I frequently boast about how smart I am, I have never once claimed that I am not a scatterbrained weirdo

Anyway, chapter 1 was not particularly impressive to me. The art style is nice, with a lot of similarities to Demon Slayer to the point that I suspect that the author was an assistant to Gotouge Koyoharu, but also like Demon Slayer, it is very clearly this author's first serialized work

Everything was told instead of shown, what little that was shown wasn't given the gravitas that it should have to leave an impact, and I don't have a clear image of what to expect from this series going forward. I know that Gill wants to discover the truth of what happened to his dad and that Liches are involved, but nothing we're shown gives me any reason to feel invested in that

Since Gill's dad is such an important character and the mystery of what he did is central to the plot, I think chapter 1 might have been better served doing something more akin to One Piece's first chapter, showing Gill's childhood with his father and the contrast between what Gill knows and what the world thinks happened

It's super clear that either Gill's dad was possessed by a Lich or that everyone he killed was and he did it to protect everyone else from them, but we have no context for any of these characters aside from the fact that they're in a Viking-inspired setting. We don't know what Gill lost, we don't know how significant the axe his father made for him is, we don't know anything about that book, we didn't even know that Liches existed until the moment they became a problem. They talk about the troll language and that trolls are extinct, but then they just drop that someone else that Gill happens to know is part trolls without ever mentioning trolls before that point

So many topics are introduced completely unceremoniously, making it really difficult for me to feel any real connection to the cast or setting. The aesthetic looks cool, and I especially like the Lich design, but the choreography doesn't exactly leap off the page and I'm not sure what actually makes Gill special at all. He's good with an axe, but...in what sense? "No spin" "one spin" okay, he's using centrifugal force, but is he using some kind of special ability, a special technique, a special weapon, what? Why is it strong enough that he was able to beat a Lich? That certainly wasn't a great showing for the Lich if the small child was able to win with one technique

I'm sure the author intends to explain it, and mystery is a great way to entice readers to keep going, but all of my questions aren't being led by breadcrumbs trying to lead me to an answer, they're led by frustration with how vague the details are in the first place

Obviously, I'm going to keep reading, as I always do, with the hope that the author's experiences will help develop the story into something greater than its initial impression. I hated Mashle's first chapter, and Demon Slayer didn't actually grab my attention until the fight with Daki and Gyutaro, so there's always a chance that things will turn around at any time

In short, while I didn't necessarily like what I saw, I'm not the type to let a rocky start keep me from enjoying the ride