#okay fine the designs aren't even that good but it's fun. it's fun to see. it's joyful. they are good nevermind

[mood2you]

we could have had it all

[tonberry-yoda]

Menace - Hobie Brown (Spiderpunk)

notes - here's the hobie fic for the poll that ended today!!! This is just a cute little drabble that was overall just really fun to write! I hope all of my Hobie simps enjoy it as much as I do! God, I literally love him though like Jesus he should not be allowed to be THIS FINE. Anyways, stay hydrated, loves <3 word count - 817

"Hobie, I don't think I'm exactly allowed in here," you whispered, following behind your boyfriend who was decked out in his spidersuit. It wasn't the fact that he was spiderman right now that bothered you, but the fact that there were hundreds of other spidermen and women surrounding the two of you.

"Aw, who cares?" he whispered back. "I don't follow their rules anyway."

"Yeah, but-"

"Hey Hobie!" you heard a cheery voice say. You quickly hid behind your boyfriend and heard him - in overenthusiastic British slang - greet a boy named 'Pavitr.'

The conversation seemed to play out just fine until you heard the boy say, "Huh? Hobie, who's that?"

You froze. You were dead for sure.

"Oh, this?" Hobie pulled you out from behind him and your face flushed red from embarrassment. "This is my partner."

"Oh my goodness!" Pavitr put his hands together and slipped off his spider-mask, smiling at you brightly. "Well aren't you two cute together? I'm Pavitr! Nice to meet you..."

"y/n," you muttered out, taking his hand.

"Nice to meet you, y/n! Wait, how did you get in here?" He grabbed his chin and thought about it, but in the middle of that thought process, Hobie patted him on the back and led you away from him before things god messy.

You played with the day pass on your wrist that Hobie stole for you. "We're gonna get caught by someone who cares." you said.

"So what? I don't care. He didn't care. No one cares. Plus, we won't be here long, love, I just wanted to show you the cafe."

He led you into a giant room with tables on the walls, ceiling, and floor, hundreds of spider-people just chatting and eating away at their food.

As you were in awe of the room, you didn't even notice that Hobie had left your side and went to the counter. When you did notice, you ran over to him.

"Why'd you leave me?"

"You found your way, right?" He winked at you and leaned on the ordering counter. "Could I get two spiderman 2099 patties and uhm... two orders of chips please?"

The person behind the counter nodded at him and Hobie led you to a table that was luckily more hidden from the rest of them.

"Did you want a drink?" he asked.

"Yes please."

"Be right back."

When Hobie left, you were left in astonishment at this place. It wasn't like anything you'd seen in real life, so this had to be a dream. You thought one spiderman was crazy, especially when the one in your city was your boyfriend, but to see thousands of different types from different dimensions all in one area was somehow even crazier.

"Mystery drink." Hobie laughed, sliding you over a cup.

You took a sip out of it and were pleasantly surprised.

"So," Hobie said, playing with the wrapper of his straw. "Whaddya think?"

"It's a lot," you admitted.

"You think so? You told me that I was a lot."

"Yeah, but this is a lot a lot." you laughed.

He simply nodded at you and took a sip of his drink as someone served your food to you. The design on the burger made you laugh, but you took a bite anyway.

"By the way, babe," he said, taking a bite of his fries. "If you see someone who looks like the design of that patty, run."

"Okay?"

"I'm serious," he said, which frightened you, because he never was. "If you're scared of one of these guys finding you out, you don't even wanna know how he would react."

"Can do." You saluted to Hobie, who just leaned over the table and pressed his lips to your cheek.

"Stawp, Hobie," you chuckled.

"Let's get home then, before he actually does show up. Sometimes he'll just appear out of no where. Scares the crap out of me, that bloke." He opened a portal next to your table and you scooped up your food and walked through, Hobie right behind you.

The two of you ended up in an empty parking lot not far from home and you sat right on one of the parking lines, taking a deep breath. There was so much the world didn't know about... how cool.

"You're really pretty tonight, love."

You turned to Hobie and laughed. "Aren't I always pretty?"

He just rolled his eyes at you and wrapped his arm around your shoulders. "Yes, but especially tonight."

You faced Hobie and smiled, pressing your lips to his before leaning your head on his shoulder.

"Thanks for showing me around spidey HQ," you giggled.

"And not getting us caught."

"We were close."

"But we didn't get caught!"

"Fine, fine. You're right."

Hobie rubbed your shoulder and you leaned closer to him while you finished your food.

Your boyfriend was a menace, but he was your menace.

~~~~~

into the spiderverse masterlist | pinned post 2023 @tonberry-yoda – do not repost or claim ANY of my work as your own! likes, reblogs, and comments are not only welcome, but appreciated

~~~~~

[haveihitanerve]

These Aren't Guards-

“Bruce? Your phone is ringing.” Dick Grayson called, not bothering to move from his place on the couch. Bruce sighed, but ambled downstairs, picking up the phone. “Yello?” he asked, pressing the phone to his ear. “Now?” dick frowned, setting his own phone down and glancing over. Bruce pinched the bridge of his nose. “Yes. yes of course ill be there in a bit.” he sighed, hanging up. “Dad? Everything alright?” DIck asked in concern. Bruce waved him off. “Clark called. Theres a League meeting. Lantern needs some help with these-” he waved a hand, trying to find the words. “This other alien species i guess, and the other Lanterns are refusing to help because its not technically a threat. yet.” Dick frowned. “Huh. need backup?” Bruce cocked his head. “You don't have anything better to be doing?” Dick shrugged. “Not today not really no.” Bruce shrugged. “Okay. You’re welcome to join me if you wish chum. At least then the meeting wont be a complete waste of time.” Dick laughed and stood, following his father down the stairs to the Batcave. “Hey B. Dickwad.” Jason greeted, sitting on the table, cleaning his guns. “Is that my rag-?” bruce groaned. “You know what? I don't even care anymore.” Jason grinned, dropping the rag, and whispered in a staged voice. “I finally win.” Bruce rolled his eyes, moving to his suit ti get changed. “Woah whats going on here? A daytime patrol? I thought we have duke for that.” Dick laughed. “We do. B has a League meeting and i volunteered to come along.” Jason jumped off the table. “Wait- for reals? I wanna come.” Bruce arched a brow, slipping on his suit. “You do?” Jason nodded. “Hell yeah. I haven't been up there since i was robin.” Bruce shrugged. “Alright. Suit up.” Jason grinned. “For real old man?” Bruce shrugged. “The meetings probably going to go in circles for a while, useless bickering, getting nowhere and achieving nothing, if you want to provide me with some entertainment while we’re there, then by all means.” Jason laughed. “Bet.” They suited up quickly and Bruce led the way to the zeta tube. “Jason, you made a fair point. Neither one of us has been up there since we were last robin. And most of the heroes don't know us.” Jason grinned as Bruce groaned. “Oh this is gonna be fun.” 

“I called Batman, he should be here shortly.” Superman informed the other few members of the justice league that had arrived at Lanterns call. Wonder Woman nodded. “Good. then we can begin-” “they just showed up in the tube.” Flash informed them. “They?” Lantern asked, walking over. Barry frowned, but nodded. “Yeah. They.” The other JL members frowned, leaning over to see the monitor and what Barry was looking at. To their surprise, Batman was accompanied by two other men, both around his height, flanking him. “Is there a new bounty on Bats head we don't know about?” Green Arrow joked. “Whats he need bodyguards for?” The others shrugged. Before they could discuss it further the doors slid open and Batman walked in. “Is everyone here?” he asked without greeting. (although technically that was his greeting) “Yes. We can begin.” Superman nodded, and his eyes drifted behind him questioningly. Batman ignored all of their inquiring looks and took his seat, the two men taking their places behind him. “Um, we can get more chairs, for your um, guests.” Diana offered. Batman shook his head. “They'll stand. Its fine. Lets begin shall we?” The JL exchanged glances, but shrugged. 

“My legs hurt.” Jason murmured into the comm. Dick huffed a laugh. “Shut up jason.” he muttered. “Code names dickie.” Jason twittered back, his moving lips hidden by his red hood. (who'da thunk it) “Not super necessary.” Bruce murmured, without moving his lips. “I've designed all of our comms to be unhackable, and managed to make it so Clark can’t hear us through them.” Jason raised his eyebrows, though neither of his companions could actually see that. “Impressive daddio.” Bruce fought hard not to roll his eyes and settled instead on casually flicking his leg. Jason smirked. “Both of you focus.” Dick hissed at them, but they could hear the smile in his voice. He was enjoying being here. And, bruce found in spite of himself, he was enjoying himself too. It had been far too long since he had brought his kids with him on League things, for good reason, but seeing as he shared everything League related with them anyways, and meetings rarely ever had direct danger, there really wasn't any reason not to bring them more often. “What do you think Bats?” Oliver asked, his hand landing on Bruces shoulder. Bruce felt rather than saw Dick and Jasons contempt for the action, so much so that he truly didn't know how he felt about the casual touch. Jason stepped forward and in one move had wrenched Olivers hand back, pushing him away. “Back. off.” he snarled. Dick was at his side, none of the Nightwing ease in his stance, no easy smile. No, it was all Jason, Red Hoods anger seeping into his posture, making him glower rather than grin. “Okay.” Oliver lifted his hands in surrender, taking a ste back. “Geez.” he added. “I just wanted to know what you thought Bats. You didn't need to sic your dogs on me.” “birds.” Bruce muttered. He felt Jason's anger flicker slightly. He had amused his second son. Bruce fought his grin. “Its a solid plan.” he admitted. “I think if you use Superman instead it would go over better though. He has the reputation as Earths defender. That will earn him respect.” the others nodded. “Okay. So its settled? Kal will fly out with Lantern?” The league all murmured their agreement. “Good. Then i hereby declare this meeting adjourned.” Bruce stood, and Dick and Jason backed up a few steps, allowing him to move away from the table. “Is that all?” he asked. The others nodded, watching him and his birds with curious eyes. “Good. Ill see you at the next meeting.” He turned for the door, Jason and Dick falling into step behind him, when Barry spoke. “You know we’d protect you Bats. You didn't need to bring your own guards.” Bruce could feel Dick and Jason's glee. He fought his own smile, turning back. “Guards?” he frowned, looking at Jason, then Dick. “oh. These aren't my guards.” he smiled, knowing how unnerved it made the others. “These are my kids.”

[truetalesteam]

Week 2 of our Season 3 Crowdfund!

Hello Everyone!

Here at True Tales of the Illuminati, we are humbled and excited to announce that with three weeks left in the campaign, we are almost halfway to our crowdfunding goal. That means that we’ve been able to release the second of our four crowdfunding minisodes, and we’re rounding the corner towards the third! You can listen to them, and to our first two seasons, on our podcast feed now.

That’s right, our marketing strategy for asking you help us make a third season is to make a mini-season and hold it hostage! Find another podcast that does that! (Okay Wooden Overcoats, sure. Fine, we ripped them off, so sue us, they’re our heroes. No you shut up)

If you haven't heard of us yet, we're an audio comedy about conspiracies gone disastrously wrong, fruitlessly spinning the wheels of history like a car in park when you floor the gas. Inspired by (and aspiring to be) BBC audio comedy like Cabin Pressure and Hitchhiker's Guide, with rapid-fire jokes in the vein of Archer, Community and 30 Rock, we're proud to have been Audioverse award finalists for our first two seasons.

Here are a few of the things we’re excited about in our third season:

New characters ripped from the real Enlightenment-era Illuminati! Watch Beck get drawn to this group of navel gazing nerds like a pannier-wearing moth to a flame! See Jackie fall under the influence of a mysterious new mentor figure! Listen to Ishmael swill coffee and make bon mots!

New Dal! Dared to find a hobby "besides murder," watch her harass and bully shop proprietors into giving her a personality a second dimension!

Five whole episodes with an explosive two-part finale that calls upon all of Ishmael's bravery, courage and brain cells!

Here’s where the funding is going to go:

Recording studio time rental! In the past we’ve recorded with our full cast all together at The Bridge Sound and Stage recording studio in Somerville, MA. Not only does that make our audio sound great, having our cast all together, able to bounce off of each other live as we record means we get our amazing cast chemistry bubbling away to make each joke land even harder.

Paying those amazing actors! Every one of our cast members is paid for their time and talent, and as we have a big cast and tend to pack character after character into a scene, that’s quite a large line item! Why do we keep writing scenes with 5 characters in them!

Sound design! We’re once again working with the phenomenal Beth Crane and Hedley Knight, who you may know from their show We Fix Space Junk. Beth and Hedley have an incredible ear for sound, and some of the finest comedy brains out there, and they use those gifts to make sure that when a character jumps through a pane of glass, that that is the funniest pane of glass that there is to jump through.

Administrative fees! Podcast and website hosting aren't free! Look, some of these are just going to be true, not fun.

Places where the funding does not go:

Our pockets - We make this show because we love making it, and because we want to make the funniest thing we can. Every penny we raise goes right into making this show better and making more of it. The only ROI we see is getting to put something we think is really good out into the world. Does this make us fools? Economically, yes! But spiritually? You decide! (Please say no we need a win so bad)

Local political contributions in New South Wales - (we’re only 80% on where it is)

Actual occult organizations - (We don't know how to join the illuminati, no matter how desperate or strange the marketing emails we get are)(we WOULD say this though, so keep trying!) PLEASE STOP ASKING US ABOUT THEM

Non-Fiction History Books About The Weirdest Shit We Can Find - We use the library, bitches. We didn't spend a cent on The Witch of Lime Street!

Intrigued? Generous? Cool? Please help us bring our next season to life over at truetalesteam.com/crowdfund

[basil-does-arttt]

DMC Questions Anon here!

As we all know today is the 23rd anniversary of the first Devil May Cry game, and the series as a whole. So I want to hear you talk about DMC 1, what you love about it, headcanons you have about it, alternate scenarios you want to share, anything DMC 1 you want to talk about.

Hello again! This is gonna be a long post i have a lot to say lol

DMC 1 was my introduction to the series way back when as a little kid, when i watched an older cousin play it and eventually tried it out myself. This was also the PS2 version, and i was gifted the disc + console as well at some point.

The Alastor cutscene stuck in my head for literal years after i first saw it as a kid, that and DMC 3's mission 20 arena. Every so often it'd pop into my head as a memory, untill recently when i decided to get back into DMC fully rather than just occasionally remembering it.

DMC 1 holds a very special place in my heart because of that, its a huge nostalgia thing for me and is my favourite game in the series.

I love the setting and tone of the game, its so unique compared to the others, of course all in thanks to DMC 1 starting out as RE4. That whole gothic castle, almost horror vibe is something you dont really expect from hack&slash games these days, and even though it made for some real clunky and annoying moments in game (cough cough Nelo 2 and Griffon 2 cough cough...) to me, the good far outweighs the bad.

Oh and the soundtrack! Its so good, every theme works so well in the scene it's used for, even the abient tracks. I will say however, the bg music got real messed up on the HD remaster which is very dissapointing. (it sounds flat and doesn't have any echoing anymore, specicially the divinity statue room and Phantom's church arena in the start of mission 3). It may not be noticable to some who have only played the HD release, but i noticed it immediately coming from the PS2 version oof. I guess i have to be greatful that a HD release exists in the first place though, and it is a very old game. Still.

The combat also, (and this might not be an opinion shared by everyone which is fine) i feel is the smoothest out of any Dante in any game. All the attacks are so responsive, and although you're limited, you can still style on enemies pretty easily.

Finally the bosses. Arguably the best lineup of any DMC game, every boss is fun in it's own way and brings something new to the table in terms of mechanics. Phantom is a lot of timing correctly, Nelo pushes your fighting style to be more agressive and direct, Griffon challenges your dodging skills, Nightmare is a puzzle solving boss, and Mundus is all three. The designs are also amazing, and most of the arenas are perfect. Griffon 2 and nelo 2 aren't so great arenas but their 3rd arenas more than make up for it.

Okay enough of me gushing about how much i love the mechanics, some HCs i have for it!!

1/ That motorcycle Trish bust the door down with (and then throws at Dante) wasn't hers, right? We see it in the into cutscene before it cuts to Dante at his desk. Well, its my HC that was Lady's bike (she was not happy).

2/ (aside from gameplay mechanic reasons) The reason Dante cant use DT at the start of the game, despite having awakened it in DMC 3, is because Dante wants to push away from embracing his demonic side even more so now after his brother has been "killed". He always disliked being part demon and preferred not to tap into his demonic abilities because of that, demons are evil creatures after all and Dante is far from that, but that hate is even further exemplified after Vergil fell into hell.

3/ When Trish split off to fly solo as a devil hunter, she kept the name "Devil Never Cry" for her business. People do often confuse her for Dante's "Devil May Cry" especially when the names are abbreviated. Dante finds it mildly annoying, Trish finds it hilarious. (Sometimes she'll direct clients to Dante out of pity too when they call her number asking for Devil May Cry rather than Devil Never Cry, instead of convincing them she's the right person. Dante however always sends them over to Trish if they've called the wrong number.)

4/ Dante probably knew Trish was trying to lure him to his death on Mallet island, but he went anyways to avenge his family's death. We know he'd been searching for Mundus ever since DMC 3 (it says so in DMC 5's "history of DMC" cutscene), and he knows that finding and killing Mundus wouldn't be nearly as easy as Trish made it seem. Wether he came back or not, he was going to kill Mundus, or at least try.

As for alternate scenarios, i dont have much in mind. Maybe it would be interesting to see a scenario where Trish never betrayed Dante, and instead she tried to help him during the nightmare fight. It still would've ended the same way for her, but maybe also Dante wouldn't have gotten so angry with her when he saved her.

Ugh i just love DMC 1 so much, like i said before it holds a special place in my heart. I hope that answers everything :> <3

[potat0bag]

hey hello! hope you’re having a good one. cccccooould I request some info about your shiver’s sister(s?) maybe? if you feel like it

hi! i'm not doing great so this'll be fun to do (/gen about both things! i'm thankful for this ask) sooo shiver has two sisters! they are each 4 years older than shiver, because they are twins!

i'm not gonna include images cause their designs are constantly changing and i'd rather focus this post around their characters for my own sanity.

Sela Hohojiro is a gossip on the surface and probably comes off as mean. She's very playful and requires a lot of attention due to having this kind of middle-child syndrome going on (even if she is tied for oldest child) due to Shiver being the one raised (and enthusiastically agreeing) to take on clan head duties when the time comes. Same (Shiver's mother) loves all her kids so much, yet Shiver is her youngest and has the most set future of all of them and needs her attention the most in her eyes since her position as clan head was kinda rushed upon her due to unfortunate circumstances. Sela can sort of understand on an objective level why she isn't as intensely nurtured by comparison. However, she is also emotionally aligned to a severe degree, so her own feelings of loneliness regularly cause her to be sassy and act out. She tends to spend a lot of time at their aunt's bar because of this, seeking out her childless older relative's attention instead.

On a cooler level, Sela is drawn to praisable arts much like Shiver. Specifically, she enjoys painting (and is the reason Shiver also picked up the interest) because it's something she can be praised and acknowledged for. The Hohojiro residence is full of paintings she's made. She mainly does landscape art since in her mind it's hard to mess up something that's concrete and dictatable on its objective quality of detail and logic. TL;DR "i can do this thing well and get noticed for it!!" As quiet of a passion it is, she also enjoys alternative music as it tends to have a fueling power behind it for her. She enjoys the electric energy of parties for this reason also. Always happy to meet new people and possibly earn more attention and a tighter support system. Somebody tell her she's doing fine, please.

Chi Hohojiro in comparison to her twin is far more like still waters. Because of how logic-based her reasoning is, she can often appear blunt and seem to lack empathy. When really, she's just tackling it from her own sense of logic and justice. If that person hurts you, why don't you just cut them out? That's- difficult to do? Because of the connection you've built? That's... huh. She didn't think of it like that. She's very clear cut. Which can hurt, but she'll also hold you blatantly accountable. She doesn't really like letting things go until a suitable compromise/payback has been reached. Shiver snuck her snacks? Okay. That's fine. They're buying her more. And that incident'll be tallied against them until they act on her terms. Because of her objective outlook, Chi doesn't face the same feeling of loneliness Sela does. The way Chi sees it, Shiver requires more attention due to their life path being set out for them and requiring guidance. It makes sense for them to need more. And she can see how Same treats them. They aren't being given less. She treats them with a million percent more than the bare minimum. Her love isn't being divided between them, rather being magnified in an educational aspect to Shiver, who she is required to be hands on with.

Chi has the capacity to play the straight man between her and Sela when it comes to teasing Shiver, being a flat one liner kinda gal. She also presses for Shiver to take care of themselves in a very "you quite literally need this objectively" way. If they can't afford to do something crucial one day? They have to do it the next. It's Chi's Law. (One they like to try and fight, but can never truly escape.). Same enjoys Chi's Law. Where do you think Chi got it, after all?

Hope this was articulated well, anon. This genuinely improved my mood. I'd be happy to answer more text-based asks like this (and asks about Sela and Chi <3), they're a lot easier for me to handle than drawing requests I think due to motivation coming and going. Thanks for reading!!

[mchlgayser]

EXPOSED?! ft michael kaiser ✮

synopsis: after a long week of important tournaments, you can finally have your boyfriend all to yourself but not without the paps 😤

warning: random quick escalation, slight hurt/comfort, mention of panic attack (not proofread) tq.

nana's note: HEYCHEYHEY BITCHES BESTIES! im back hehehehehe, how are y'all????? im good tho ik no one asks i just thought i would inform y'all about it 😹 im back with another not so good fic (no pun intended) rotflmao hope you guys have fun reading, happy reading mwahh!! (reblogs or comments are very much appreciated xoxo) tq.

You are in the bathroom doing your hair and face routine and getting ready. The door creaks open while you are applying moisturizer and you see your boyfriend standing by the doorframe, hand crossing while he looks down on you with a small grin "Hey, mein liebe." You look at him with a furrowed brow "What do you want?" He chuckles, snaking arms around your midsection.

"Do I need a reason to be sweet to you, Liebling?" You scoff "Yes, it's usually because you need something so what is it?" His smug grin to a frowny pout "That's not true! ...Actually, it is cuz' I wanna being you out on a date-"

"No." He started to whine, burying his face on the crook of your neck "Why not?" You put on your Vaseline lip balm and sigh "You know why... Kaiser, I don't plan on getting caught by your fans again, worse, not by the paparazzi."

He groans into your neck "I promise I will be more secretive this time. Come on," You bite your lip in anxiousness "I'm not sure Besides we aren't even in Germany, and I don't wanna get caught by your fans in this country. They are known to be your most fanatic, and obsessive fanbase." He laughed, head throwing back a little "I promise I'll be secretive. I super promise."

You roll your eyes at him "...Fine but just this once, okay?" He nodded clinging on to you and peppering your face with kisses.

After some time, Michael hop into the shower cubicle and you left to get ready.

You put on your most promising top and bottom. You did your hair, put on your make-up to dolled up a bit. Kaiser got out of the bathroom, groping your ass lightly before tuning his way to the closet room.

"Where are we going?" Kaiser turns to you for a brief second "It's a surprise, remember?" You roll your eyes at him again "So cliche. We've been together for three years and this is only your fourth time surprising me but let me remind you, the rest of the three didn't end well."

He laughs, looking at you gleefully "So only four times surprises is understandable, no?" You snort, humming even though you are not that agree with him.

Kaiser stops by a fine dining restaurant and then turns to you. You look at him with wide eyes "You-" He chuckles, looking at you and unbuckling his belt "I made a reservation. You don't wanna waste my money now, do you?" You bit your lips, looking at him with angry eyes "I hate you."

You get out of the car and Kaiser hands his key to the valet guy. He swoops an arm around you with a smug smile "Let's just enjoy our time, okay?" Two doormen that stand by the entrance open the door for you both.

A host came by to you and Kaiser asking for your reservation name "I put it under the name Kaiser." The male host nodded and led you to your table. It's on the second floor of the restaurant whereas most of the table is designed in private rooms. You tread on the imperial staircase to your table and sit with Kaiser.

The host handed you both menus "Would you like anything from the bar, sir and ma'am?" Kaiser hums "Yeah, we'll have your finest- No, second finest wine." The host nods, bowing down before leaving the room.

You look around the room. The panel window is adorned with curtains but is withdrawn able you to look out at the night city and the busy roads "Just how much money you've wasted for all of this?" He simply shrugs, palm prodding under his chin while he looks at you "Not much, barely 0.001% of my net worth."

You scoff at him "You brag too much." He pouts, "You know nothing is too much for you, mein liebe." You shake your head at him "Still, we can just go somewhere less lavish than this."

"Yeah, we can but I don't want to cuz' you deserve the best out of the best." You were about to argue again before the host came with your wine and a bucket of ice.

"May I take your orders now?" Kaiser looks at you before nodding "Yeah, I'll have your Lobster pasta and this sweet lady here will have..."

You can get comfortable after some time and manage to prop a conversation with your boyfriend whilst you two eat. The night and date ended smoothly until you were about to head out. As soon as you two got out, flashes of cameras and chaos tending.

People started to swarm in right by the entrance of the restaurant aching to get near you but more importantly Kaiser. Paparazzi began to circle your forms flooding you with questions in their language to which you do not understand. Kaiser is trying to pry you two off but they're so persistent.

To make matters worse, there are a few of his fanatic fanbase - no matter what gender but they just started flooding forward to get in touch with Kaiser. A few even dare to throw comments randomly about you.

"Hey, please step off. You are interrupting my girlfriend's space." He commanded but they didn't seem to budge. Your head had started to feel heavy, chest tightened and breath quickens. You look up Kaiser for help and he nods almost immediately "Please step away, everyone!"

After what seemed like an eternity, guards started to appear and help push people and give you some space. Kaiser immediately took the chance to bring you inside the car and drove off.

You are getting ready for bed, lying down as you wait for Kaiser to come. Speak of the Devil, he swings the door open and turns to you "I made a call to the restaurant. They said they'll investigate as to how the paparazzi and my fans knew about us being there." You hum, sitting up and head resting on the bedrest "It can be a coincidence, you know? Maybe someone saw us and leaked it on the internet?"

"Or maybe the staff that knew we were there leaked it!" He assumed "Stop with the shenanigans. The restaurant is for high-status people and I'm sure the policy is right. The staff must've known the consequences of leaking the customer's information especially a famous person like you." He grunts, plopping beside you on the bed "Well, who gives a damn about that anyway? All that matter is now we are home and you are fine and whoever fucker that did this, intentionally or not, I'm going to sue them." He mused, tucking himself under the duvet beside you.

He linked his tattooed arm around you and kissed your cheek "I'm sorry, mein liebe. Next time, I promise we'll be more private-"

"Oh, shut up!" He laughs.

[juni-ravenhall]

sso and "its just a kids game!", "its not that deep!"

ive been thinking a lot about how there are things you really can and should excuse sso for "because its a kids game". those are things like the silly tone in serious situations, when carl and a DC goon just want to eat ice cream instead of doing villain things, or when mr anwir says "so anyway back to my evil speech", or when avalon/druid says :O, or when katja puts on an evil playlist and we change it to a less-evil playlist during a not-really-canon event quest. the goofy tone of the game makes it less scary despite having some dark and scary elements in the story.

(the goofiness shouldnt mess up the logic of the story, though, which i think the dark riders and DC really have an issue with, but thats a bit too much of a tangent.)

or things like making sure you know that nobody died when you and the soul riders did a thing, or seeing someone blast off in a goofy way after being struck, so you dont feel bad about it, or take away the lesson that killing bad guys is fine. making sure to spell it out to you if theres a lesson to be learnt sometimes, or shoving the magic of friendship in your face (although in a shallow way).

or having non-punishing and laidback gameplay (except economically) to suit the youngest players, like not having to lose anything if you fail, or giving the player very clear instructions for quests, or having NPCs not be very hard to defeat compared to games targeted to older teens and adults. (but accommodating young players that barely read and have never played a game before, or players with disabilities that can't always play in the most hardcore gaming manner, and so on - accessibility - shouldnt in any way relate to having bad or clunky gameplay or game design. sso doesn't actually do a good job of being accommodating, it would be much better if there was genuinely fun, well-designed, challenging gameplay for those who seek it, while allowing those who dont to take their time and play the same thing at their own pace without failing - having properly designed races and champs and overhauling the scoreboard system and testing every race until they're at the quality they should be; having rewards like more js for reaching higher scores while still allowing players to earn okay js if they aren't aiming for the gold medal times or highscore boards. having fun and challenging gameplay mechanics with different difficulties. etc. the concept of "adaptive difficulty" is also interesting.)

theres things that are very reasonable to excuse in kids media. theres just also parts that i dont excuse and dont think its appropriate to excuse. when ppl do the "its a kids game!" thing, its not always about what i described above.

should you excuse low-quality game design and gameplay functionality just because its a kids game? no, not at this price point, anyway - there are kids games for free or for a couple $€ out there that might be validly priced. however, this is also *especially* bad in "girl games" (fuck gender and sexism, but society exists). girl games are notorious for being low quality and not comparable in quality to "boy games" at the same price points. perpetuating this - trying to get girl game audiences' money without providing quality girl games - is a problem of misogyny and exploitation. not excusable.

should you excuse bad writing just because its a kids game? i certainly dont. i dont like badly written kids books, or picture books, or cartoons, and i didnt prefer low quality content over high quality content when i was a kid, either (but quality means different things in different circumstances and to different people). your ability to tell if something is crappy or great improves as you age, but even if its definitely possible for a kid to enjoy the hell out of an objectively low quality piece of media, there are problems that often arise from bad writing and bad design... because where low quality writing comes from, there is often also a lack of care for important issues and topics, and a lack of respect for the target audience.

should you excuse racial or sexist stereotypes, or fatphobia and harmful beauty standards in general, or ableism, or cishet normativity, lack of diversity, just because its a kids game? isnt it *even more important* in a kids game, since kids are still learning so much about the world and starting to form perspectives and opinions and feelings about it for the first time?

if you think "but sso doesn't have much of that!", i think you might have played the game with a very different perspective than i did. what about how courtney, the summers sister, is framed as a joke because of how she looks - you're supposed to find it funny (and sweet though!) that carl franz thinks she's beautiful and perfect, because that's not how the game assumes you reacted to her. the brothers obviously also are meant to be seen as goofy looking but i don't remember if it was handled in such a direct way as with courtney. the game also assumes that you find xin scary or strange-looking when you see him without his mask (it's in ydris' dialogue); which is especially fucked up since he's a person of short stature (and also part of the "circus freak" stereotype!), but also always fucked up regardless - people just exist, man. we are born looking some kind of way. it's fucked up to think xin or courtney are ugly. it's fucked up that we were supposed to find a disabled little girl scary during an old halloween event (i think her back was hunched and she walked differently?). it's fucked up to think pi is ugly, or mrs holdsworth, or the GED workers. i want the world to stop thinking of normal human traits as "ugly" no matter how unusual or usual those traits are, or how symmetrical or not, or how popular or not, how old or young you look, how sick or healthy you look, or whatever the fuck. its all ridiculous and should be stopped. we should think of people in terms of kindness, in terms of shared interests and shared joy, in terms of healthy relationships, in terms of caring and loving and making the world a good place to live in for everyone.

and thats just the aspect of beauty standards and shit. i havent even gotten started on the shallow idea of diversity they executed in the production of this game. on how there were lots of random npcs of colour suddenly, but without bringing poc in as important key characters with interesting and engaging continuous presence in the story. how the dark riders feature the most buff and masculine female character, a physically threatening and masculine woman of colour. how they were going to have 3/4 poc in the dark riders while the soul riders are 1.5/4, and the remaining dark rider appears to have albinism which makes it another harmful ableist stereotype. how so many of the important characters were designed as white - yes, its a swedish game, but the game is not from the 1950s, is it? when sso was released, sweden's population was more than 10% foreign-born. today it's even higher. can you guess if there is a class issue and if rich white game studio owners and directors didn't really think about people who weren't blond and light eyed and white?

or the lack of body diversity in anyone else than 40+ year old characters. sure, it's good there was anyone fat or beefy or differently shaped at all. and it's understandable that they didn't have the resources at the time of release to make the player character more customisable (doesn't excuse the lack of diversity in skintones though) and went with their typical fatphobic misogynist 2000's cartoon look they'd already created before sso (dont get me wrong, i love the old art, we can enjoy aspects of things while also criticising them). but they already *did* create npcs with different bodies and faces on and off - especially the 40+ yos - and there was nothing stopping them from spending a little more time on creating a fat young adult npc, or one with an androgynous body, or a beefy female npc, or other diverse bodies and faces, rather than spending it on putting together 10 more generic skinny background npcs (have you ever thought about just how fucking many random unnecessary npcs are in this game?).

those are a lot of things that are pretty serious and that you have to kind of be woke and analytical to think about in the first place (most players - esp if they themselves dont feel especially oppressed irl - arent ever going to really think about these issues, or might actively be *for* some of the issues, such as in the case of fatphobia directed towards the player model update). other things like the game design and quality of the gameplay, inconsistent writing and design and graphics and so on, are things more players might notice since it can make the game just feel more boring or frustrating compared to other games you play, even if you dont think too hard about the whys and hows.

but the fact that kids might not realise that theres ableism or racism or fatphobia or misogyny or that theyre being pushed into spending money on something that isnt really up to the standard - thats not really a reason to excuse those things. and if someone says "the writing is really bad" or "this makes no sense" or "why did they design these characters this way" or "this horse game sucks and is boring and inconsistent", rather than just saying "its just a kids game", "why do you take it so seriously", "its not that deep", maybe its worth considering this, that there are things you absolutely should excuse kids media for, and other things you really, really shouldnt.

[sebadztian]

Watching the episode now, but no screenshot because CR doesn't allow screenshots.

The P4's obsession with 'tradition' is mental. Even Ciel recognized that. I understand why they killed Arden (guy was annoying af), but the way their reason with it is kinda crazy... For tradition? But then again, they cried because they were allowed to step on the grass, so this school is pretty fucked up... I guess, anything to make them feel better about committing a mass murder...

Sebas' eyes change colour in different shots and it's driving me crazy! My god... This is probably my biggest gripe with his new design.

BUT his teeth are so fine! They're fairly generous with it and he's so fangy & teefy this season! So happy 🥰

In all honesty, I don't quite understand UT's concept for Bizarre Dolls. How did he attach those 'future' to the cinematic record? Like, where did he get those 'future record' from? Does it mean that ambitious people makes the best BDs?

Shoutout to UT's eyes!! Honestly, how did he see through that fringe of his?

And the battle begins...

No, wait... Sebastian, Sebastian... Just kick the guy already! Why are you playing some odd version of arm wresting with him?

Oh, great... Now they're hugging... Damnit, Sebastian!

Why do the BDs sound like Transformer robots?

My god... Harcourt really peed his pants...

Big talk, Seb. You just stood there the whole time... Have you not learned your lesson? When it comes to UT, you can't take your damn sweet time...

Okay, okay... So, I need to digest this...

The imagined fight sequence in Sebas' head is actually cooler than the reality of what happened next. UT even gave him a haircut. Maybe that's why Seb changed course. He didn't want a haircut...

Speaking of change, they changed the text! Instead of "protecting my contractor", they changed it to "protecting my young master" (he did say 'bocchan') 🥹 So domesticated!

And UT's knowing smirk... And his words, "That's our butler"? Sounds like some sort of an approval to me. And he knows that the demon has been domesticated!

The parting booty shake tho!!

Ahhh... The scene that I've been waiting for... It's so intense, even Harcourt fainted from the intensity of it!

This poor boy is the real victim here... First, he found out his crush is actually a butler, then he peed his pants, and then, he had his heart broken all over again because Seb & Ciel are being so gay... He's like the butt of every single joke...

I hate that Sebstian's eyes are not glow-y anymore though... 😭

Edward, you're a good man. Just keep that up, yeah?

So good to see Ciel & Seb in their 'normal' attire & roles. Don't get me wrong, I do love Professor Michaelis, but Sebastian the butler is much better.

Snake 😭😭😭

Well, I'm hoping this is not the last episode. Aren't we getting 12 episodes? Or was it 10? Assuming we do get 12 epsiodes, then the next one should be the shopping trip. So fun! 😄 But then... What would be the 12th episode? 🤔

[manda-kat]

I recently got over my fear of roller coasters and I wanna share advice to those who may be afraid to ride their first time. So, here's Manda's tips and tricks so you don't have to be the bag-holder at the park!

How to choose your first coaster:

For motion sickness make sure you aren't going to puke on a big coaster by trying a small one first. A lot of parks have family coasters. Check their website for the coaster with the lowest height requirement and don't pick one that goes upside down. Kiddie coasters are a good way to see if the kind of movement on a roller coaster is going to be okay for you. If you feel like puking on a little one, take precaution when moving to a big one. This is also good to make sure you'll have fun on a big coaster. Don't ride if you know you won't enjoy it.

Wooden roller coasters are tempting because they rarely go upside down. I absolutely love my local wooden coaster and it was my first big kid coaster. Keep in mind, however, that wood doesn't move the same way steel does. A wooden coaster is usually very rough and shakey. If you have back or neck problems, this one might hurt a bit.

Dangling or hanging coasters aren't that bad and honestly, the extra fear in how they look means trying one of those before a more traditional coaster can be a great way to boost your confidence to ride any of the other coasters.

If you see a dream coaster you want to ride, but you think it's too big or scary, just ride it. Don't pass up on the one you really want to do. If you discover that you don't find coasters fun after riding it, that's fine. At least you can say you did the one on your to-do list.

How to get yourself onto the ride:

The hardest part is getting yourself on the ride. First things first- remember that there is no shame in sitting things out. Do it when you're ready. But if you really want to do it and you're just being scared, keep reading.

If you have time and you know which coaster you're going to ride, you can watch ride POV videos on Youtube to familiarize with the layout and what kind of surprises may be on the ride. It removes any fear of the unknown.

Anthopomorphize it. Maybe this is just a me thing, but I give imaginary personalities to everything. In my mind, a roller coaster is like a big, mischeivous puppy that really wants to play. It may be a bit scary, but it was made to bring joy and it just wants to show you a good time.

Remember that you are safe on a roller coaster. Accidents are extremely rare and if you're actually afraid of being hurt, you can research your park ahead of time and see if they ever have had any ride incidents and what might have happened. Keep in mind that tragic accidents aren't just a roller coaster thing, they're a machinery thing in general. If you can ride a car, bus, train or even a bike- you can ride a coaster.

Take a buddy. It is fun to chat on the lift hill and make jokes on the ride. If you can sit with another person, that's for the best.

General Tips (mostly from an expert I found at the park the other day):

The first row isn't any scarier than the other rows. The experience isn't noticably better or worse. The back row, however, can be rougher of a ride. My advice is to ride as far up as you can, but don't sweat your position that much. Every seat is safe and fun.

Keep your head back and forward. Don't bend down. If you let your head whip all over the place you can give yourself a headache.

Keep your tongue behind your teeth. If you jolt your head you could bite it and that hurts. On that same note- don't chew gum on the ride.

Leave your phone, hat, sunglasses, bag, etc, in a locker or with a friend. Trust me. The ride will eat everything you hold dear that isn't firmly attatched to your body. On that same note, if you get anxious about losing things on rides- don't wear extra accessories to theme parks.

Hold the handles for emotional support. On a lot of over-the-shoulder designs it's good to put your hands close to the top of the handles.

When you get to the first drop and you're afraid of heights, look for something in the distance to focus on. Don't look down- look out.

Don't hold your breath. Screaming can help you remember to breathe.

Screaming is a part of the fun. Most people screaming on a roller coaster do it because they're excited. Scream something really stupid or silly for extra tension relief.

Give yourself time to rest between rides. If you feel queasy after a ride, wait for the feeling to pass before you hop on another.

[browser5]

An Incredible Poop

AU Where Mr. Incredible still works at an office and Dash is an adult. Bob comes home from work. Dash is on the couch watching TV.

Dash

Hiii dad, how was work

Bob

Hi Dash. Work... well, you remember my boss Mr. Huph? Always watching my every move to see if he can get me fired and my family goes poor? Yeah he's back at it again...

Dash

Uh Oh, well he's just an idiot so don't worry about him

Bob

That's always good advice. And by the way...No capes! You remember that?

Dash

Yes aunt edna called the other day

Bob

How is she doing? I still miss her all the time. She was like a second mother to me... and a great designer.

Dash

She's fine, she asked me to model for the new collection

Bob

Really? Man that would be great if you could do that. She made the best super suits. No one could make one like she did. 

Dash

Omg do you know what happend at school today??

Bob

Tell me! I love it when you talk about your life. I'm sure nothing could compare to what I have to deal with at work. I'm sure nothing could surprise me...

Dash

At lunch today I saved another student from choking. Guess he couldn't wait to gobble up his pbj sandwich, he choked on it real bad.

Bob

Wow... I'm impressed. How did you help him? Did you perform the heimlich maneuver? I bet it was tense.

Dash

Well I sorta kicked his stomach. But it's the same result!

Bob

That’s amazing… I’m so proud of you right now! Just think, you saved that patient’s life! That’s incredible.

Dash

Thanks dad, I'm so glad to be super like you, you’re always a hero to me

Bob

You are my son. You make me so proud.

And remember, if something happens to me or Helen I want you to be brave, okay?

Dash

Nothings gonna happen to you and mom, right?

Bob

Of course not! Everything’s going to be just fine! But if anything… happens… just remember how much I love you. Okay?

Dash

I know that…Dad can I ask you something?

Bob

Of course you can. If it makes you uncomfortable, then you don’t have to tell me and I promise I won’t be mad… but go ahead, son. Ask me anything. Nothing is off the table in this household. No secrets.

Dash

Well, it's a little embarrassing…

Bob

Hey… nothing to be embarrassed about. I’m your dad. There’s nothing that you could say to make me think less of you… what’s on your mind, champ?

Dash

I've been having stomach problems lately and I wanted to ask if you could help me?

Bob

Stomach Problem? Like you’re not, uh… having an easy time going to the bathroom? Is that what you mean?

Dash

Yeah...my belly is just full with shit but I just can’t like get it out

Bob

Hmm. Okay, I got you. Are you drinking enough water? It might seem simple, but if you drink enough water and eat enough fiber it’ll be easier. But, if you’re really stopped up, I have a few tricks that might help clear your system out. But those might be a little gross for you, do you still want me to share?

Dash

Yeah dad I need to know

Bob

Okay, buddy. So drink a lot of water. That will help. In addition, eat beans with your dinner. And if all else fails, eat a handful of prunes. Prunes are gross and slimy, but they’re nature’s colon clean-out. They’ll make you poop to a point to where you might not even have to push. That should help get you going again…How was that? Too gross and TMI?

Dash

Huh, but I don’t really like prunes…What about those husk seed thingys? Aren't they like a natural laxative?

Bob

Ooh. You mean the psyllium husk things? Sure, they might help. But be careful, they really expand in your stomach. You’ll be taking a massive…you know.

Dash

Well dad, that’s the goal, taking a massive shit.

Bob

Right, I just wanted to make sure you knew what would happen. But if that’s the result you’re looking for, then give those a shot. They come in different flavors too, like apple & cinnamon…

Dash

How do you know all that, do you suffer from constipation

Bob

Sometimes! It can be a pain. And I know you’re probably not a fan of all the details, but you did say you wanted to know! Being a supers is fun but we’re prone to a pretty intense diet and the whole thing isn’t always friendly to my digestive tract.

Dash

Gotcha, but I don't think that it relates to my power. It feels like I shouldn't have eaten so many chilli dogs...stomach growl oww

Bob

Ha! I know all about the chili dog struggles. I’ve been there before.

They both walk toward the bathroom while Dash holds his stomach

Dash

Great then you’re a pro. 

growl. Mom got me those husk pills, maybe they will help

Bob

I hope they work, your stomach sounds like its turning upside down

Dash

Yes I know dad, but this turd needs to come out first

Bob

Okay, Champ. Well do me a favor? When you… you know. When you’re done… can you give me a holler? I just want to make sure everything came out okay.

Bob stands in the doorway, trying to close the door to let Dash do his business until

Dash

Actually dad...can you stay and hold my hand? I’m kinda scared

Bob

Kiddo, are you kidding me? Of course. I’ll be right at your side.

You got this.

Bob is a little reluctant, but he wants to help his poor son and locks the door behind him

Dash

Thanks dad, ugh I think they’re working...my insides are moving

Bob

Keep pushing, son. You can do this.

Dash

You sure you won't mind dad?

Bob

Of course not. You are my son. What do you think I am, the poop policeman?

Dash plants his ass on the toilet, while Bob sits next to him on the bathtub rim

Dash

Ok here it...goes hnng

carl strains as he farts intensely, so far things seem normal to Bob

Bob

You okay, kid? Everything come out okay?

Dash

I- groan 

Dash's stomach growls and a big load comes out, Dash grits his teeth and the bathroom starts to reek of foul shit

Bob

Holy mother. The smell is unbelievable… oh my God.

You okay, buddy? It was… that bad?

Dash

Yes it is, I didn’t mean to be so loud. Fuck, I’m sorry dad, theres no air freshner.

Bob

Don’t apologize, my son. I’m not angry. But, and this is something you need to hear, that was absolutely foul. Well, I think it’s best-

Dash

Growl OOH that wasn't all of it, here comes round...2...ahhh 

Dash ejects a jet of diarrhea and grasps his dads hand for support while Bob can’t help but hold his nose with his other hand

Bob

Jesus H. Christ kiddo. I have no words… I’m not sure if I’m more impressed or more concerned right now.

Dash

Hehe I hope impressed dad...oh god, dad I need both of your hands to concentrate, another wave is coming in hot!

Bob

(Oh lord…)Alright, kid... I'm ready.

Dash

Phew ok, pushinggg 

Dash pushes out more gas, vibrating the room. He starts sweating

Bob

Hang in there champ. It's gonna be a tough one.

Remember... you're the son of Mr. Incredible. You can do anything.

Dash

Thanks dad, you taught me how to shit big after all. I can still feel some in there, can you massage my belly to get it out? I feel like I’m seeing stars at the moment…

Bob

Alright buddy, you got it. Just be ready for a big one.

Bob starts massaging Dash's stomach resulting in

Dash

Thanks dad, your the best. Huh think that might've been a false alarm? Maybe it's got stagefright?

Bob

Could be. Or, in the words of your mother, you can't rush a good poop.

Maybe we just need to wait a few minutes? Let your body take its time. How does that sou-

Dash

OH HOLD ON HOLD ON!

Bob

It’s happening isn’t it? OH MY GOD!

Dash squeezes Bobs hands as he poops out the chunky remains of the chilli dogs, the toilet is filled to the brim with shit, Bob can't believe it, Dash exhales relaxed as he's finishing

Dash

…wow

Bob

That…That was one of the most intense poops on the planet. You okay champ?

Dash

I think so

Bob

I can’t even believe that just happened. That was the poop of legend. You filled the toilet all the way to the top?

Dash

Fuck I guess I did papa hahaha. This pile is huge!

Bob couldn’t help but look down to the bowl and it was true

Bob

That’s got to be the biggest poop I’ve ever seen. I bet you feel 10 pounds lighter now.

Dash

More like 50 pounds

Bob

Wow… that must have been one hell of a chili dog. I’m so proud of you for pushing through it. That was some next level super-pooping.

The young man leans back and tries to recover from the pushing

Dash

They really came for seconds. Do you think it'll flush?

Bob

I think you better grab a plunger. That thing isn’t going down without a fight, chuckles.

Dash

Ok, we'll i hope that's it for pooping

Bob

Yeah, I think you're done. You're completely empty. Well, I am very proud of you. You did it. That really was something.

Do you feel better now?

Dash

Yeah I definit- fart ahhh definitely feel better 

Bob

Uh oh... you feel like you've got more?

Dash

Nono it's just leftover toxins, see?

Dash grins as Bob starts to get gassed up by his son

Bob

Oh for the love of all things good...Mm, that stinks. It's better out than in, right?

Dash

Well lets try flushing it

Bob

Okay, let's give it a shot. Flush away, son!

The toilet flushes but clogs halfway

Dash

hmm better than expected

Bob

I'll say! I thought for sure it would overflow.Do you have a plunger handy? Let's see what we can do about this...

Dash

Yeah just give it a minute 

Dash starts wiping up his messy ass to Bobs disgust, bob sprays some air freshener as the toilet recovers

Bob

God, that smells awful... let's get all of that cleaned up. And make sure we open a window to let some fresh air in. I'm dying here.

But I’m impressed, that was quite an ordeal. I am glad that it's over, but I’m very proud of you. 

Dash

Uhuh (Damn still dirty)

Bob

Dash, make sure to wash your hands…seriously. Did the toilet loosen up or do we need a plumber?

Dash

Hehe, guess I really gassed you up huh, it loosened up a little.

Bob

You sure did. Jesus christ this is going to be hard to get down. Damn, I can't even imagine what would happen if your mother came in here. Ha! If I didn’t have a super nose, I’d probably be throwing up right now. Holy smokes...I think "gassed up" is a bit of an understatement...

Bob leans against the wall, wiping the sweat off his face

Dash

Thank you for being here daddo, now let's try this again

Bob

No problem, son. You're my son. You can call me for anything.So what do you mean by we should "try this again?" Like you want to push for round two???

Dash

No dad, I meant try flushing again

Bob

Oh, of course. Yeah, let's give it another shot. 

Bob flips the handle on the toilet to flush again

Come on, baby, come on... you can do it! Come on!

The toilet flushes more away but clogs again, they try the plunger but to no avail

Bob

Ugh…we can't get down this beast. This is unbelievable. What kind of chili dogs have you been eating? This thing is like a concrete block. 

We may need to call a plumber at this point. This is quite the load.

Dash

I guess so, man…

Bob

I guess we're gonna need, like... some draino or something? I gotta admit... you are a poop-master. This thing is clogging even after flushing again and using the plunger.

Dash

Sorry dad. But calling a plumber would be really embarrassing. Maybe the drainio will do it?

Bob

Eh, I understand. But trust me. He’s seen way worse, I’m sure.

We can try that draino stuff first. And if that doesn’t work, we’ll call a plumber, okay? That okay with you?

Dash

Okay pops. Let's try the draino.

Bob gets the draino from the cabinet underneath the sink and opens the container, pouring around 1/3 of the bottle into the toilet

Bob

There you go, son. Give it five minutes and give it another shot.

I gotta tell you... I respect and fear your pooping power.

Dash

Maybe that's my secret second power. Don't you poop big dad? Your superpower is super strength after all?

Bob

Oh yeah, I've definitely had my shares of super poops, especially after a good meal out, or a really unhealthy lunch. But I don't think anything's matched up to your super poops... you're on another level. I am both impressed and fearful.

Dash

lets just hope this doesn't become a regular thing. Did the draino work?

Bob

Only time will tell…

Bob checks the toilet

Wow. I'll tell you what, that did the trick. The toilet is completely drained. That... that was impressive. Are you... is there anymore? Are you all done now?

Dash

No pops, I pray that that was it. I feel really empty tough. I feel almost hungry

Bob

Well, good. I think we should be all set now. Now how about we celebrate your victory... with some ice cream! I think you might have earned something sweet... don't you think?

Dash

YEAHHH. Damn, maybe I should destroy the can more often to be rewarded some ice cream huh?

Bob

Hahaha! Don't get any ideas, buckaroo.No, you got ice cream today because you persevered and pushed hard, and I'm proud of you for doing that. And I wanted to reward you. So, pick your ice cream, big fella. What do you want?

Dash

I want mint chocolate

Bob

Excellent choice!

Bob gets mint chocolate from the fridge

Mint chocolate is my favorite too.

Here you go, champ. You earned this.

Dash

Thanks dad, lets hope this doesnt kick off round 2

Bob

You and me both!I'm proud of you. You pushed hard... and I know it was pretty taxing... but you did it. You're a very special kid, you know that?

Dash

And you are a special dad. But I guess that means we are super

Bob gives Carl an "I see what you did there" kind of look

Bob

I like the way you think, kiddo. I guess we're super special! Maybe we are. But you know? You are something special too. I just wanted to make sure you knew that. You're my son, you know that? I love you very much, and I'm so proud of you.

Bob gives Carl a strong hug

Dash

heh, love ya too dad. But please don't squeeze too hard, I still have ghost pains.

Bob

Oops, sorry. How's the ice cream by the way?

Dash

Tastes great, a nice reward after all of this

Dash lets out a booming fart

Bob

Ok mister, that's enough. No farting while we’re eating

Dash

yes sir, I promise

Dash secretly crossed his fingers as they continued to enjoy their ice cream

[lupins-hehim-pussy]

ok so I mean this with utmost respect for but please please don't position yourself above people who want the characters to fuck. your previous post, the "i want top neuvillette who's still femme and a crybaby my god is that so hard" one, is literally in the very usual style of sexy headcanoning. which is good! I just don't want you to alienate other people who also think both about that and the Problems

it really is the biggest elephant in the room, the way Fontaine is as a whole, isn't it. I think genshin fandom involves some kind of derealisation mode. they feel even less... existing than characters usually do. which is, bizarrely, very fitting for Fontaine?

I have no intention of positioning myself above people who want characters to fuck, so I apologize if it comes off that way. Because yeah you're right, I do have sexy headcanons. I'm just some guy as well. I literally drew Wriothesley with his tits out ( and I have more WIPs of Wriothesley with his tits out, by the way. Neuvilette too. But he's usually flat as a board in my stuff lmao so it doesn't really.... well he's still sexy even as a twig. to ME).

My point mainly is that it's not my Main form of engagement with media. I do not develop interest in stuff through finding characters attractive first, then becoming interested in their story after. Meanwhile, Genshin Impact as a model heavily bets on you becoming attached to the characters on their concept/models/kits alone, but the character writing is very much secondary to them. You don't recommend Genshin to people who want artsy fartsy hard-hitting narratives, exploration of trauma/mental illness, culturally sensitive representation, and character-driven stories. You might recommend Genshin to people who like gacha but aren't too susceptible to predatory gambling mechanics, enjoys expansive world building, open world, beautiful graphics, fun/straightforward gameplay, and hot anime people.

And Mihoyo as a whole do not value and uphold the things I value (my lukewarm leftist-aligned politics), therefore, I am just very much not the target audience. There isn't much else to say to that. Attraction isn't the hook to fish this krill (me), which is why I said I'm... not the target audience. It's fine if OTHERS are. I don't see myself as any better or worse for it. If anything, I WANT to be the target audience. I WANT to be in a fandom that engages with the stuff I enjoy more. Not for any moral reason, I just want to have fun too, like goddamn y'all look like you are having a blast over there. I don't think it's a bad thing that people who want character to fuck.... gets characters who are designed, encouraged and sold to be shipped (fucked). It's just a thing that happened.

Additionally, I also don't engage with fandoms (end of sentence. Actually, I kid) mainly because the majority of people (not you in particular. Just Generally. Amorphously) are here to see characters have sex and that's it. That's Fine. It's okay to just want your favs to have sex. I just happen to want a lot of other stuff as well, and the sex bit is just not my main thing. Once again, I am not the target audience. It's like I shouldn't drive up to the chips shop asking for ice cream, but I live in a town that only sells chips, so I'm sitting on the curb complaining about how there's no ice cream when I should move out, probably. But the economy doesn't allow me to move out (I am hyperfixated) and the only job I can do is make ice cream disguised as chips so the chips lovers come to my shop (I write fanfics and draw Wriothesley with his tits out).

So like. Ultimately who cares. I'm just some guy who feel what I feel, and I want to say it as I feel it

[allaboutnayeli]

ranking nwsl kits (with actual explaining this time)

I like to ramble and yap so let me yap about these kits 😍😍 going in whatever random order i want

at the bottom: washington spirit

what is this? im sorry like y'all finna be running around the field looking black sharpies and yellow highlighters for the whole season? also the stripes on the black jersey is nothing special. honestly they don't even look good it's like when you spill smt on ur shirt and it just won't come off. 0/10

right down at the bottom: north carolina courage

it's giving 2014 realness like the design on the blue one is ugly and the pink one is whatever. their colors aren't even really incorporated into the jersey? like it doesn't give ncc. the logo sticking out like a sore thumb on both of those jerseys and that's sad fr. 1/10 and only because i like that pink shade

another bottom tier...: kansas city current

do better.... like these are the most basic jerseys i have ever seen. there even isn't nothing to say because it's just boring! they just switched around some things on their last jersey and called it a day. 1/10 because their colors are very cute

go back & try again!: gotham fc pt1

for this jersey... it's giving race cars and shit and it just looks weird to me. like it feels like last year's kit but they decided to do dots instead now. the white text across doesn't look good against the colors to me personally, i just don't like it. 2/10 because i see the vision but it's not connecting

BASIC!BORING!TRYAGAIN: angel city pt1

i expected more from a club that's heavy on their aesthetics. the black looks good, but it's just so basic like do something else. looks like five other jerseys i have seen. just wish they did more. 3/10

adorable, but no sweetie: racing louisville pt1

this isn't even that bad, but it reminds me of a picnic blanket. the colors is AMAZING like I love the lavender (i think..) and the white go well together. like the colors aren't ugly in all honesty. it's just the pattern is not giving what it's suppose to. they could had tried something else, but it's not that bad. 4/10

at least try to stand out...: utah royals

nothing. it's giving nothing. like your a new club and could had stood out, made some waves. show you are not here to play around but nah just like this teams vibes the jersey is just as bland and uninteresting. the only thing i like fr is the colors (not like it's anything else to rank it on but that..). 2/10

what are you doing?: portland thorns

i expected more like last year jerseys were creative and interesting to me. why suddenly go basic now? even if they're ugly designs at least you tried something cool. these are bland asf and the colors aren't giving portland thorns to me but okay, have fun. 2.3/10

peachesssss: orlando pride pt1

i forgot what fruit is that on the jersey, but I LIKE THIS. it's actually so creative and makes sense because florida be having mad fruits growing there with the warm climate. incorporating something that significant to the state is such a cute thing. also it's just adorable like the players really gonna be running with fruits on their jerseys. however the longer you look it, the uglier it gets ngl. 8/10

basic but cute: gotham pt2

this is cute, simple, and a nice color. that's pretty much it. it's alright, i like it. 5/10

honestly whatever: racing louisville pt2

went from creative to whatever this basic thing is it. that shade of purple isn't appealing to me, but whatever. 3/10

another blue one, wow!: houston dash pt1

nothing to say really. it's a cute shade of blue, they could have gone with a different color but it's fine. 3/10

another new team with boring jerseys, wow: bay fc

congrats on being boring, bay fc! they could had done something really cool with their jerseys and added in something that's significant to the bay, but okay let's use basic ass colors and slap our ugly ass font logo on it. 3/10

cute and simple: angel city pt2

another cute simple and boring jersey, but it's not bad. i love the pink and angel city is just like so pink to me idk how to explain. it's whatever. 4/10

basic BUT IN A GREAT WAY: reign

the logo is really making this kit what it is and the colors are just so royal like. everything goes together well. it's giving rich bitches and idk why. in this instance being basic is the way to go. 6/10

just the colorrr: orlando pride pt2

I LOVE ITTT. very basic duh but the color shade is so appealing to look at it. it's giving very orlando pride, I love it. 6/10

i see the vision: houston dash pt2

when i first saw this i was like this is ugly but i see the vision tho now. it's cute and simple and the design looks good with the colors. it's not giving race car at all. 7/10

AMAZING, BRILLIANT, INLOVE!: chicago red stars

tbh their jerseys in the past were whatever, but these two eat down so bad. the design on the light blue one fits the team and it just looks so cool. while the shade of blue (?) on the other jersey is gorgeous and looks very refined. 7.5/10

this is how you do a jersey baby!: sd wave

BRILLIANT, SPECULATOR, NEVER SEEN BEFORE. just these are fucking amazing they put all their energy into this. it's really giving the wave in their name. this is how you incorporate your name/the area around you. very unique and the colors are so gorgeous, I'm inlove. the wave deserves their props for this one because wow they came and delivered. 10/10

ANYWAYS OVERALL at alot of basics and more could have been done. a lot of misplaced visions that could have been done well with the right people idk. all i know is imma be happily watching the players run around in these jerseys during the season.

[crashingmeteor3]

Yo-kai Watch 2 tierlist: Electric Boogaloo

You know the drill, I have the drill. Let's begin with-

The favourites tier, the guys, gals and yo-pals I enjoy staring at the most.

Like last time I like these guys for some differing reasons.

I used Darknyan, Foiletta, Hig Gnomey, Mermaidyn, Tongus/Nurse Tongus and Smogling/Smogmella in my various PS playthroughs.

And then there are some I haven't used but liked because of the game like Buchinyan, Hovernyan, Don Chan, Harry Barry, Count Zapaway and the Nosirs.

And some I just like because they're cool, like Allnyta and Time Keeler.

And I can appreciate Unfairy because I read fanfiction about them once on AO3 and it was cool.

Here is the Great Tier. I haven't used most of them. So this is mainly because of design or seeing them in the game.

I think the villains of YKW2 were probably the best, even the wicked yo-kai! Which is why they're all in Great.

The little cute moment between Ray O' Light and Drizzelda during that annoying storm chapter was, well, cute.

I really liked the classic yo-kai and having to do those key quests. They actually have personalities which was cool, and they don't just appear once. Which I can appreciate.

The war chapter is by far my favourite chapter in 2, making me like Arachnus and Toadal Dude as well.

Use the hose.

And everyone else just looks cool.

Again, I like most of these guys because of their design or their part in the story.

The bosses in this tier were the ones I thought had cool concepts, I haven't fought Kabuking or Kat Kraydel, though. But the others I have and it was fun.

Looking back I would probably move Arachnia up to Great because of Hazy Lane, but at the time of making this, I didn't know you could get them there so... Yeah.

Everyone here is fine, not bad, just I don't have any memories with them. I haven't used most yo-kai here.

The meh tier, these yo-kai aren't bad but there are things that just make me dislike them a tiny bit.

Apelican haunts my dreams every night because I swear every time I got him, I probably have like 3 or 4 Apelican medals rotting in my medallium.

Eyeclone was an annoyance to defeat, tough, but not the fun tough. I had to fight all those yo-kai in the rain for hours the first time I played.

Gargaros also haunts my nightmares, but I did finally beat him in Yo-kai watch 3.

Okay, looking back I'd probably move Sproink to Neutral or Good but only because of the quest.

Swelton's design isn't my preference, honestly.

Teastroyer was like Eyeclone as in he took forever to beat in a very annoying way.

I don't actually remember why I put Tyrat in Meh, probably because I could never get him. Maybe I'd put him in neutral now, I don't know.

And finally, the yo-kai I didn't know existed until making this tier list.

Will I make a yo-kai watch 3 tierlist? Maybe. Depends on how liked this tierlist is.

[kafus]

ramble incoming about indie websites, neocities, and modern web design... putting below a read more because i wrote way more than i thought i would, oops.

whenever i see posts going around about how imaginative and creative old web design used to be, and how minimalist and same-y everything is now, while i do agree and wish that modern web design was more interesting and more dense with information... it's not as simple as "let's go back to how it used to be."

most old websites did not conform to modern accessibility standards, making the internet harder to use for many people, and on top of that we live in a smartphone era now where websites have to be designed in such a way that they work on both phones and computers... phones have a much smaller space to work with - kind of hard to decorate your website in pretty graphics and lay out the information in unique ways when you're designing for tiny screens in portrait resolutions!

i work pretty hard to make sure CPG displays on both mobile devices and computer monitors in at least decent fashion, and the website is absolutely less interesting looking on mobile. the sidebars are traded in for a toggle-able menu at the top of the screen (i'm considering changing it to a button that sticks to the bottom of the screen so you can open the menu without scrolling up, but i digress) and images that would float on the right or left side of articles in an aesthetically pleasing way have to be put into their own blocks between passages of text so that the text doesn't become impossible to read, squished on the sides. i'm not perfect at accessibility, nor am i perfect at optimizing the site for mobile, but i think i do an okay job with my relatively simple layout. i do this because i want my website to be viewable to people on any device, even people who aren't enthusiastic about the indie web, or desktop browsing. this would not be nearly as easy with some of the complex table layouts of the past.

it is interesting to me that a lot of people choose to simply not make their website usable on mobile and will put a notification that the site is either best viewed on desktop or doesn't work on mobile at all on the front page... there is nothing wrong with this, mind you, i'm not making a judgement of the person or their coding abilities, some people are just chilling and doing their hobbyist thing without fretting about that, or making their content for a specific audience that would mostly view from their computers, which is fine! how other people make and run their websites is none of my business. but i do think a lot could be gained from exploring mobile design and making the indie web space more accessible to mobile users, which take up a large percentage of the population. we'd probably have more eyes on us if our spaces were more accessible for people on phones. also, personally, i actually find making my site compatible for mobile with pure vanilla html/css/js a fun challenge.

at the very least, even if a website isn't built to be mobile-friendly, making sure everything is at least visible and clickable is a good thing. my website dynamically changes the size of elements based on the device viewing it, but there is also the option of making your entire website layout a set pixel width, so that it is the same on every device, people just might have to scroll horizontally or zoom in to see/click things... which is annoying but at the very least workable. i have seen some high quality neocities sites that do exactly this and i think it's a good alternative from dynamically sizing pages.

all this being said, i'm coming from the perspective of someone who actually wants their website to be seen and be used by as many people as possible because i'm providing niche game guides/tools/resources, so again, people who are just doing their hobbyist thing probably don't care as much about how many people see their site, especially outside of indie web spaces and especially neocities. it's a bit of an insular community where everyone on there is exploring their fellow users' desktop websites. also, just because a website is not workable on mobile doesn't mean people won't see it! plenty of people still use their computers to browse the web of course, it just cuts out some parts of the population. it's complicated and i'm not an expert on the subject but i don't know, i just felt like talking about it ww

TLDR; i think the ideal would be for a less corporate, more creative internet that still is accessible for disabled people and still allows the use of smartphone browsing. maybe one day when i'm more educated on code, i can make some cooler things in this regard...

[retphienix]

(a lot of) Oberon stuff

I decided instead of using my stockpile of forma for farming more kuva and tenet weapons for mastery rank fodder, I'd dump them into oberon because...I mean, why not

tbh, I just kinda like them. They were one of my first faves years and years ago and I haven't really touched them in years because, surprise surprise, they are/have been/continue to be kinda "mid" as power creep and buffs have spread to other frames.

AT LEAST for a layman player. Some tuber with maxed arcanes and 30k plat can probably post some build claiming Oberon is the best because he can't die, as if the arcanes aren't doing the heavy lifting lmao.

Despite that, they have always been my favorite support frame on an aesthetic and conceptual level, and I've always been annoyed that the druid healer frame is pretty much the worst healer in the game with Trinity spamming free full heals with free DR, Wisp being BUSTED (love her), and now Citrine just casually giving everyone free DR- HoTs as a passive- and orbs (also LOVE her).

ANYWAY, I sat down and theorycrafted some stuff, I was THIS close to putting my stockpile of umbra forma into him and just making him a pseudo tank that kept up phoenix renewal (maybe another day, and a second oberon prime lmao because I'm not overwriting all my hard work).

The plan was to basically push his armor and health to the extremes and just kinda, exist. Okay, saying it out loud sounds boring, so I'm glad I didn't do it, but I did really want to push his power strength high as hell while tagging on Primed Flow and some basic eff/duration to keep renewal going alongside all the beefed defenses.

I deleted that build idea so here's a mock up that's clearly inaccurate since it's lacking the flow etc but that tasty Effective Health was the goal (I'd have definitely used some staples like rolling guard etc instead of like gladiator resolve):

At the last minute I decided to do some browsing for other ideas and I came across some niche steel path gimmicks abusing quadratic scaling from ragdolling enemies interacting with his Reckoning augment.

tl;dr, stack enemies, use reckoning augment, silly funny extremely good things happen.

Now at first I figured the build just wasn't for me, but the more I thought on it, and the more I tweaked it for my own enjoyment and not just copying the max/min setup, the more it sounded interesting to try.

So I did it.

He's not done just yet, obviously. No subsume because the intended subsume is Gyre's to grant better energy economy and abuse the whole "ragdoll + reckoning = broken" thing, so I'm not even utilizing the interaction yet.

Also few shards, needs more shards.

Also it's still a work in progress- I'd like to toss on at least 1 go-to survival mod on him, but I haven't decided what I want to axe to do that. I'm thinking rolling guard for more leeway since he's shield gating (my first real build to abuse the mechanic) but figuring the values out on this build was tight enough without thinking "Oh, one more mod!" so we'll see. He can currently survive just fine in steel path content owed mostly to the CC of the mass radiation, tbh, and that might not even be an issue if the gyre interaction works out to just making everything too dead to hurt him in the first place. We'll see.

But the gist of him, as he currently exists, is pretty simple.

He nukes with his 4 and uses his 2 to ignore status / the need for primed sure footed on steel path builds.

The augment for his 4 is fucking fantastic thanks entirely to it scaling off range.

Too bad this patch note isn't right and it's still bugged and can revert to the 3m starting range whenever it wants in online content :/

Regardless, I mostly wanted to ramble on the short design journey on making this new build because the mid-point-result has been EXTREMELY fun to play lately.

Sure, he's not getting much use out of his renewal, and he's not enjoying the silly fun of smite infusion, and he's lacking some core parts to his build (that subsume is like 2 days out), BUT! As is, as a max range shield gating nuker, he's having a lot of fun. You know, when warframe doesn't decide to remove the range mod effect for no reason.

I honestly hadn't ever thought of making him into a nuker before, so mostly the novelty is making it fun.

I have only ever tried making oberon a mass CC gardener who keeps renewal up for that armor bonus, or a mass healer with eff/duration to allow it, or a smite infuser to assist groups with being weapon platforms.

Nuker never appealed to me because his 4 never appealed to me, his 2 and 3 were my faves and his 1 (with augment) was a simple radiation buffer.

Using his 4 so much and to such great effect is honestly just fun lol

Good stuff.