#hashtag living my truth or whatever

[lupins-hehim-pussy]

ok so I mean this with utmost respect for but please please don't position yourself above people who want the characters to fuck. your previous post, the "i want top neuvillette who's still femme and a crybaby my god is that so hard" one, is literally in the very usual style of sexy headcanoning. which is good! I just don't want you to alienate other people who also think both about that and the Problems

it really is the biggest elephant in the room, the way Fontaine is as a whole, isn't it. I think genshin fandom involves some kind of derealisation mode. they feel even less... existing than characters usually do. which is, bizarrely, very fitting for Fontaine?

I have no intention of positioning myself above people who want characters to fuck, so I apologize if it comes off that way. Because yeah you're right, I do have sexy headcanons. I'm just some guy as well. I literally drew Wriothesley with his tits out ( and I have more WIPs of Wriothesley with his tits out, by the way. Neuvilette too. But he's usually flat as a board in my stuff lmao so it doesn't really.... well he's still sexy even as a twig. to ME).

My point mainly is that it's not my Main form of engagement with media. I do not develop interest in stuff through finding characters attractive first, then becoming interested in their story after. Meanwhile, Genshin Impact as a model heavily bets on you becoming attached to the characters on their concept/models/kits alone, but the character writing is very much secondary to them. You don't recommend Genshin to people who want artsy fartsy hard-hitting narratives, exploration of trauma/mental illness, culturally sensitive representation, and character-driven stories. You might recommend Genshin to people who like gacha but aren't too susceptible to predatory gambling mechanics, enjoys expansive world building, open world, beautiful graphics, fun/straightforward gameplay, and hot anime people.

And Mihoyo as a whole do not value and uphold the things I value (my lukewarm leftist-aligned politics), therefore, I am just very much not the target audience. There isn't much else to say to that. Attraction isn't the hook to fish this krill (me), which is why I said I'm... not the target audience. It's fine if OTHERS are. I don't see myself as any better or worse for it. If anything, I WANT to be the target audience. I WANT to be in a fandom that engages with the stuff I enjoy more. Not for any moral reason, I just want to have fun too, like goddamn y'all look like you are having a blast over there. I don't think it's a bad thing that people who want character to fuck.... gets characters who are designed, encouraged and sold to be shipped (fucked). It's just a thing that happened.

Additionally, I also don't engage with fandoms (end of sentence. Actually, I kid) mainly because the majority of people (not you in particular. Just Generally. Amorphously) are here to see characters have sex and that's it. That's Fine. It's okay to just want your favs to have sex. I just happen to want a lot of other stuff as well, and the sex bit is just not my main thing. Once again, I am not the target audience. It's like I shouldn't drive up to the chips shop asking for ice cream, but I live in a town that only sells chips, so I'm sitting on the curb complaining about how there's no ice cream when I should move out, probably. But the economy doesn't allow me to move out (I am hyperfixated) and the only job I can do is make ice cream disguised as chips so the chips lovers come to my shop (I write fanfics and draw Wriothesley with his tits out).

So like. Ultimately who cares. I'm just some guy who feel what I feel, and I want to say it as I feel it

[butchford]

[okwonyo]

when you are shipped with another idol.

엔하이픈 ୨୧ female reader seven hundred requested ！ established relationship ⠀⎯⠀⠀ not proof-read kissing skinship slight jealousy ( other )

heeseung would be purely flabbergasted. because, with who could his girlfriend be shipped with if it is not him？you will be able to see thirty different expressions displaying on his face in the space of ten seconds. would try to hide the tiny bubble of jealousy that grows inside of him. “it was me who gave you this beanie, pft,” he’d mutter under his breath while he reads the freshly aired article your manager sent to you. you would have reassure him, “it’ll go away quickly, don’t worry, bub” and maybe with a few kisses— he would forget about it quickly enough.

jay would only give you a soft and weirdly understanding smile as you tell him that fans are spamming another idol’s name in your lives. they claim that you would look cute together and you try your best to ignore them. the truth is, he would know; he would watch your live regularly. would not mind that much though, as he would not be the jealous type. still, his still so sweet demeanor would throw you off, “you don’t care?” you would ask, only slight shock written on your face. “do i need to?” he would ask, giving you a peck, “i know you are my girl,”

jake would sulk immediately. would never think that you would be shipped, loved to be seen, with someone who isn’t him. would not try to hide his jealousy at all — rather opting for a overdramatic pout that just goes with his personality so well. “do you think he is cuter ..？be honest,” he would question you, the only response he would get would be a confused look that he would straight up take for a ‘yes’. you would have to shower him in compliments while gently stroking his hair until he becomes red and hide his shy face in the crook of your neck.

sunghoon would develop a one sided dislike for the, unlucky (in that case, because your boyfriend would think that they are really lucky) idol you get shipped with. would shoot the said idol some glares that would make cold sweat appear, would slightly roll his eyes whenever that that idol talks and would fight the urge to start a war if they are a bit too close to you for his liking. you would definitely make fun of him for it, “you know it’s really all in your head right,” you would ask him, and he would just mumble while making himself comfortable on your chest.

sunoo would feel offended, almost cheated on by your fans. would hide it well, to anyone else but not to you, with a wide smile when you ask him what is wrong. you would try to scoot over his shoulder discreetly, eyeing a tweet about you and, allegedly, another idol caught dating— knowing who it really is. “you know it’s you, right?” you would giggle in his ear and he would jump, holding his heart as you scared him. would claim that he does, still pouting, nonetheless; a few poke on his soft cheeks would make him forget about it.

jungwon would be confused. would have his inexistant comprehension of the situation written all over his face. would raise his eyebrows while he watches a slideshow of you and an unknown’s ‘dating proofs’. ridiculously enough, after scrolling through the hashtag of the freshly created couple, it would convince him as well at some point. “w-woah, these are really convincing,” he would mutter, putting his phone down to stop whatever is going on. “you are only dating me, right?” he would ask in your ear, scooting over you, wrapping his arm around your waist.

riki would not like that, at all. “which one is cooler,” showing you his phone, he would interrogate you. “him or me?” your gaze would be full of endeared annoyance and fondness. would tilt his head to the side, mirroring you and waiting for you to answer his question. “you are so cute,” you would tell him, cupping his head in your hands. would have to lean a bit towards you as he is taller. the look in your eyes would quickly take over his mind— forgetting the question he asked a few seconds ago. “you will always be my only choice,” then he would smile when you kiss his nose.

this was really fun to write ! >_<

[moonshynecybin]

you cantttt just say rosquez feminization and not elaborate…. penny for your thoughts

shout out to @lestelledreams who sent me another ask like this but tumblr ATE my response when i tried to post it. luckily i draft in notes app…okay so it would be easier to list thoughts i DONT have about rosquez feminization… under the cut bc we do in fact get a lil nasty here

so i’ve talked a bit about some of the non-racing oriented things marc does for his body like his hot girl routine (laser hair removal. skin creams. slutty workout videos) like my girl enjoys being SMOOTH he enjoys being conventionally SEXY (personally. bush til i die but whatever live your truth marc) and the first time he’s doing it as. okay i’m famous and photographed all the time AND around my hot older crush/idol who has fucked more people than i’ve ever even met in my lifetime… like a little insecure part of marc is like this is what vale wants… and one thing about my man marc is he will COMMIT. so he waxes himself hairless the entire time they are fucking the first from 2013-2015 (and beyond) and frankly vale would like him either way but MARC gets off on it so hard… making himself pretty for vale… and maybe vale says something like that in the moment, just like mindless dirty talk about how good he looks how he made himself all pretty like a girl, and marc jolts like he’s been electrocuted and whines and comes right then even though vale had like JUST got inside him… and he’s curled around vale panting eyes shining leg hitched around vale’s hip asking him to keep going and it’s SO clear he liked whatever that was a LOT.

so vale uh. catalogs that information. and starts to test some hypotheses #olditalianmeninSTEM by which i mean the next time marc is blowing him he curls his hand into marc’s hair and tugs a little until marc looks him in the eye and vale just sends it like they’re whipping 310km/hr around the track— like breathless mischievous confidence… starts feeding him a stream of dirty talk, calling him gorgeous telling him nasty stuff about his tits riding that lovely edge of complimentary and degrading and getting sooo gender about it, and he watches marc’s eyelashes flutter and his hand on vale’s hip tightens and then marc like. literally chokes himself on valentino’s dick he’s clearly so so into it and vale feels crazyyyyyyy… SORRY..

and then it’s onnnnn baby it is. using the feminine forms of italian endearments in bed. playing with his tits. losing the condom. weird roleplay where they laugh so much. it is delightfully horny and slightly goofy gender transgression that they are both SO obsessed with… like the sex whiplashes through tonal dissonance it is simultaneously the most intense thing they’ve ever felt and like. lethally campy. at one point they are BOTH the baby girls bc they love being hot and are not serious people

that being said it culminates with vale just like. buying disgustingly expensive neon yellow designer lingerie and leaving it in marc’s motorhome with a lil note that has like. a dumbass turtle doodle on it instead of his signature. like something very silly and valentino. and then they have the WORLD’S most insane sex about it where vale says all kind of nasty stuff about marc being his best girl and spits in his mouth and tries to get him pregnant. hashtag catholic weirdo moments. crucially it is never formally discussed until like. genuinely ten years later when vale is like impish nervous smile WE REALLY SHOULD HAVE TALKED ABOUT THAT EH? and marc’s like ? best sex of my life? wdym?

[radioactivewisdom]

I’m not here to promote anything. I’m not a Jehovah’s Witness looking to sign more folks on. I’m not scouting signatures for my political party. I’m not a feminist who’s only looking to increase numbers and hashtags. I’m not holding a sign up sheet and handing out pamphlets. I’m simply sharing my thoughts because for years now, all I’ve heard is some versions of “if only women were taught the truth, then we wouldn’t be in this mess.” Look what happens when you do…

Whether it’s the realities of marriage, the loss of identity to motherhood, unequal responsibilities of domestic duties, or the prevalence of sexual diseases, women are always claiming that they had “no idea.” Not too long ago there was a “radical” post about contracting several UTI’s for years on end because of sleeping with a man who had an unwashed ass and p***s. Of course it was medical misogyny’s fault because the doctors hadn’t warned her that having sex with people who don’t shower is bad. I share the truth but because I don’t sugarcoat my words to appease egos, they refuse to listen. Or, lash out at other women instead.

It’s the same old song and dance over and over again. Women grumbling about how terrible and dangerous relationships with men are. How you can never know, even if married for fifty years, that they’ll one day snap. That there’s zero way to predict the outcome and not even mothers can control their sons. So then you give the only reasonable solution, stop engaging. Suddenly, you’re the problem. How dare you suggest that their desire for romance and family go unfulfilled. Plus, it’s actually YOUR responsibility to make sure their wishes are fulfilled in the first place, this is a sisterhood after all.

I share my perspective that is rooted in reality, not fantasies of how you believe the world should be. I don’t care that you think sex with men should be something that it’s not. HPV and the cancers that result from them aren’t pretty, so neither are my words when describing them. These same women are the embodiment of what they claim to be tired of. “No, don’t talk about it like that!” “Women aren’t going to listen to you when you say it that way!” Okay, then enjoy make believe and embrace the life you’ve crafted.

The world continues on because everyone is out to create their own version of it, which boils down to “I get to do whatever I want without anything bad happening to me.” Sensory pleasure and social validation is their ���meaning.” They react so negatively when their delusions are pointed out because it shatters their very reason for being. Genuinely no different than any other form of addiction and the denial that comes with it. You’re not five years old anymore, analysis has to go deeper than cops and robbers. Adult women want Disneyfied explanations that distort objective reality, then claim they’ve been misled.

I thought men were the ones who couldn’t handle the truth. Women need to finally decide. Are men incompetent babies who can’t even wash themselves properly, or are they manipulative masterminds who are able to con you for years on end? It can’t be both. The truth is available to you, if you don’t want it, fine. Live your life! There’s no need to hide behind cowardice and ignorance once things don’t work out for you. You weren’t tricked and you didn’t lose just because the game ended. Winning was clearly never an option in the first place.

[paladin-of-nerd-fandom65]

Cool answers, happy super early valentine day lol ❤️ got some more for you! :D

1: are they fans of the Super Bowl/puppy bowl or just like to watch the new commercials?

2: in your universe, will zod ever be redeemed, like maybe teaming up with his son against a massive invasion from darkseid or mongul & maybe sacrifice his life for his son, or is zod just plain bad?

3: this maybe a little dark, but have the duo been in a terrifying scenario before, like a school pew-pewing?

4: what is one thing they would do for a million dollars?Like brush their teeth & then drink orange juice.

5: how would their lives be if they didn’t meet or at least not 1st best friends?

6: I think I ask this already but are much are they a hugger on a scale of 1-10?

As you can tell, my universe is ready for questioning if you want to ask me anything? Asks are open ;)

1) Oh easy….its about the ads especially for whatever new movies or video games are coming out that year the Duo focus on. Though every now and then it can be an ad not related to those things which also gets their attention. A prime example being that time Dr Evil took over General Motors.

2) Probably he can take a similar Omni Man direction in trying to find some redemption for the errors of his ways though even Zod might know deep down he might never truly receive that forgiveness from Chris for the years of harsh treatment dished out since basically the latter’s birth. Perhaps uneasy alliances against worse threats including Xa Du and Darkseid between Zod and his son’s adoptive family can occur to which Chris then earns Zod’s respect as a worthy soldier for his own cause (Truth & Justice) which can be a small step on the massive mountain climb that is full reconciliation.

(More below the cut as the answer for Question 3 might be heavy handed)

3) Oh My yes they have. Mainly for Jake, an incident like that at his school occurred during what was an average day. Suddenly during Pre Algebra, loud banging noises sounding like whip cracks were heard down Bludhaven Academy’s hallways so his teacher took the time trying to investigate but thankfully got out of the perpetrator’s way and had his class go into lockdown mode. The issue was that unfortunately, the perpetrator was a recent grad from this school who knew about said lockdown so they weren’t easily fooled, blasting through the door’s locks. The amount of shots fired and bullets spraying all over that classroom can only bang loudly in Jake’s ears as much as his eyes can see one by one some of his classmates try making a run for it either past the attacker or through the window, only to catch their aim and get mercilessly hit by said bullets. Finally, it took a clever distraction from Meredith who risked getting into the aiming sights did Jake finally act, using his acrobatics and a wooden measuring ruler found on the red crimson fluid soaked floors as an impromptu escrima stick to knock the weapon out of the attacker’s hand and knock them out cold, ending the rampage.

In all, 45 total lives, including about 2/3 of Jake’s algebra class, were lost to this incident, and out of those 45, 41 of them were all below the age of 18. Needless to say, Meredith and Jake had to ask extensive permission not to be counted as heroes in this case (in addition to Bruce and Dick lobbying hard with the news media not to reveal any details about the attacker and their background prior to this incident) as that would distract from the real tragedy and the actions needed to prevent such from ever happening again. The hashtag #BludhavenAcademyBrave or #BAB for short trending very quickly the very next day, complimented by Chris and Jake having a blue and white armband with that shortened hashtag as Nightwing and Skybird respectively.

4) Money isn’t always a factor of concern for them since not only are they happy with the lives they do have but there’s also the small elephant in the room that is Mr. Owner of the Third Largest Corporation in the DCU, Gotham’s Prince Playboy Bruce Wayne being their ally and a factor to it. But if they have to earn a million dollars, I can see Chris and Jake attempting a feat that breaks world records of a sort or participate in many Japanese game shows. A popular one in real life that was around in the 80s was called Za Gaman (‘Endurance’) where its contestants would endure some of the nastiest, most punishing and messed up types of challenges imaginable ranging from being tied to a paddle steamer’s engine, dunking back and forth into the water or eating ice cream while buried neck deep in the snow. That I can see the Duo doing for a Million US dollars.

5) Chris and Jake without ever meet each other would be frankly in much more sadder and less fulfilling lives as they would not have as strong of a drive for adventure beyond just doing so due to their respective families and in Jake’s case with other friend and his Big Sis’ friends doing so. It’s likely Jake might’ve quit the hero business altogether even after his powers came in some time later and trying living a normal civilian life while Chris only really goes into hero duties if he was accompanying Jon. So overall, a lot more would change in ways neither one want to really think about

6) Chris: 8 on good days and 9 on days he feels off and needs a hug for comfort. Though he’d only go for it if he’s given a form of permission

Jake: 10 easily. Both Mar’i and him frankly. It’s a family thing, coming from Kory of course XD

Thanks for these asks as always @pin-crusher2000

It’s very appreciative and yes you can be expecting questions for your universe in due time ;-)

[transingthoseformers]

SG Earthspark: Okay, so my original idea was that G.H.O.S.T has been keeping Meridian (Ascenticon ally in the war) prisoner in a black site since the war's end, telling everybody he died, and everybody (including Meridian) thinks Megatron outright murdered Shockwave in the final battle.

When Twitch and Thrash are born G.H.O.S.T (who won and are making themselves and the Autobots look like the good guys of the war, and still has good PR) gets them and Robby and Mo to come to a base to figure out their biology and the cyber-sleeves, with the excuse of medical reasons. G.H.O.S.T and the Autobots plan to manipulate and use the terrans, so just kidnapping and experimenting on them is out of the question. They bring Meridian to take a look because of his transformer expertise, threatening to kill the kids if he tries to warn them or tells them anything. The Malto kids have an episode's or three's worth of early canon-like shenanigans, but after that start becoming suspicious of G.H.O.S.T, the Autobots, and Megatron. They then find out about the unconstitutional imprisonment and POW experimentation, and thinking back to Meridian's behavior wonder if he's a prisoner too because they know there were human Ascenticons during the war. A lot of them, actually. Later they have their first actual Ascenticon encounter when they find Shockwave in the crumbling stasis pod under the memorial, and are initially scared because even when they know about G.H.O.S.T's actions they don't really know about the Ascenticons, and they've grown up surrounded by propaganda. Shockwave tells the Maltos what the war was about and what actually happened, and they have to hide him from G.H.O.S.T, Megatron, and the Autobots and find a way to get him energon (season's middle point??). The Maltos can't try to escape because three out of five kids need the cave water to live. Some more stuff happens (Bot Brawl etc?) and then Hashtag accidentally hacks G.H.O.S.T and gets in contact with Meridian, and massive jailbreak ensues. The Decepticon high command is reunited (minus Megatron), and Meridian is reunited with Shockwave. Then there's the buildup to the final battle, whatever happens there. Maybe Schloder, G.H.O.S.T's leader here, backstabs the Autobots and tries to kill everybody similiarly to baseline's s1 finale?? Maybe the truth is revealed to the world?? Not sure what the Autobot situation should be at the end. Or Megatron. Or why Megatron turned evil, a corruption arc is one thing but actually joining The Enemy™ is another.

But i sort of want Meridian to still become a cyborg. Not sure how, why, or where the parts would come from, G.H.O.S.T is too smart to experiment on prisoners like that (if you give somebody who hates you superhuman abilities, that's absolutely getting used against you). Maybe he does it because he can't fight the Autobots, there's barely any Ascenticons left and none of them are here, and SOMEBODY has to protect these kids and take down G.H.O.S.T & the Autobots and their conspiracy.

Not sure how to maintain the vague outline as well as possible if i do that, because then Meridian would have to escape G.H.O.S.T much earlier to have time to think he has to do this and then actually do it too. And he should also be with the Maltos. Maybe Shockwave is found and taken away and the Maltos finally have to go on the run, which is when Meridian joins them and his reunion with Shockwave is still pushed to the jailbreak??

Also not sure how to divide this into 26 episodes and make sure that works. Pacing too.

Yep yep, makes sense!

I'd say the "purposeful cyborg to help the kids" route for Dr Meridian makes sense to me

Agent Schloder as GHOST's leader is interesting, he'd have a unique SG twist

Not quite sure how to help with some of the other stuff

[julietapark]

Ok facts…

Facts that I say to myself to not be so in shock after last JK’s live… I know I posted two things, but I keep coming back to an intense conversation in my head basically about this face :

This face and all the movements he does in this video are 😍❤️🔥🦋😻

This man is happy and on a mission!! And it’s to do the f**k he wants, to share with us what he likes… and one thing he likes it’s to highlight the talent of Jimin.

I’m 1000000000% that he is aware of the fucking small promotion that Face album had.

I’m 1000000000% sure that he knows about twiter, hashtags, his demo leacked, the tkks trashing everything he said about Jimin, EVERYTHING. He is a smart young man of this era…

And his response to that knowledge from the happy and healthy place where he seems to be right now, is to open a live and talked about whatever he likes, and he likes and admires Jimin, so he always ends up or begins talking about him.

Simple.

Some times I even think he consciously has choose this dinamic, (not just to turn on the live when Jimin is busy) ,that he has decided to share his heart as he can: “you fans want to be with me?, know how I’m at this moment, ok this is what it’s in my head”. He is not saying he loves Jimin, (even in whatever way he does, if you don’t believe they are dating, what I do so) but it’s not a coincidence that he talks about him in every-single-live.

Well m, in terms of love we have all this :

we have

AND…..

If they are not dating… not in love, imagine the awkward it would be for Jimin talking to him after the live, his “friend” singing his songs with eyes closed, giggling, looking at him as if he is about to eat him like a delicious candy… that can’t be!!!

I just need to share it again:

LIKE CRAZY

(@factkm13 always shared the best videos🙏🏽)

Singing and closing his eyes… feeling it…

This is as much as he can tell about his truth, and at the moment inside his heart and mind is all:

COOKING-SINGING-WORKING OUT-JIMIN

[rv2xlga]

sigh.

i realize i dont rant here enough like as much as i should. i should be drawing and not spending time being a fucking idiot ranting on TUMBLR at 2 am but shuake is just too serious for me

CUZ yall don’t understand my level of. crazy. my level of insane my level of obsession its been like 7 months of just straight up fixation and i always find the same things to feel the new feeling of love again for them. saw someone talking about their short film like a little summary on what its abt and the inspiration, a little love letter to their lover of sorts saying how the film is abt genuinely loving someone who is good to you for the first time, “This was the first time I would say "I love you" to someone, and it not come from a place of fear or a toxic one. This film is a celebration of vulnerability, and letting pure, secure love in without the constant impulse to self sabotage” I’ll quote and bc i cant think of love without immediately thinking of shuake (its a genuine problem lmao😭), i HAD to just think about them and yk what. idegaf their love is so beautiful to me. i think the idea of akechi having bpd and the same mental issues and disorders as me finding love in someone who is also very similar to him in some sense, like them both being autistic and such, just really speaks a lot to me.

im definitely not an opposites attract person, although they technically WOULD be opposites i think the whole troupe of “enemies” to lovers is the fact that they arent really enemies and actually have a lot more in common than first thought, at least when done well anyway so to me, they aren’t opposites when it comes to like. the things that matter like personality and the things that make people connect and become closer like the things u cant control ig lol but anywho, bc i hc (its basically canon) akechi having bpd i think thats why it means SO MUCH more to me and i love his character sm. he’s not my favorite, but bc that’s the first time i see a character like that be represented with something so similar to me and not be treated like a villain or just be really extreme like akechi is definitely. well. extreme but he’s not like, let’s say, like yuri level from ddlc like i wouldnt even consider that bpd she just straight up crazy😭 like idk, i just really relate to akechi so i really see him having bpd and bc ive always felt soo left out bc of my bpd even in spaces you would THINK would be safer, i always feel singled out somehow and although i still dont really know why, ig i see myself in akechi a lot and even akira too so the idea that parts of me could find that love and care like the fact that parts of me could find other parts of me, ig im not broken lmao like its all a little puzzle :)

okkk lore drop🔥🔥 got so hashtag emo there BUT that meant something i promise!!! that whole idea of feeling like ur missing something or theres just something wrong with u or ur unloveable or whatever, the idea that akechi felt that and FOUND it in akira makes my heart melt like a fucking fangirl i hate everything. i always think abt shuake and their love bc people always say how they are so toxic blah blah blah, and yk what, lemme not lie, that’s probably the truth! but i cant see them being soo toxic like that especially with how young they are like akechi was like. a few months of just turning 18, akira was 17 like they arent full grown adults even tho akechi was definitely aware enough to know what he was doing was wrong (even at 15 or however old he was when first helping shido i would say), you wouldnt understand the FULL severity of it like its a lot to explain but HOPEFULLY i make sense lol😭😭 and i think just being so young and growing through so much like im already. off. and i dont even live a life CLOSE to that EVER like of course he’s gonna be a little. off his rockets🤩 i mean what did yall expect😭 i keep using this phrase but yea!! so the idea of him meeting akira and finally being able to feel that youth and enjoy parts of life that typically teenagers get to live is si sweet to me.

mind u, im not saying that him living that “teenage life” is the way it HAS to be lived bc i think my life is better without those things as a teen myself and its most definitely not necessary but to me, akechi is just like. a very much stan twitter gay guy😭 he has his little bit of nerd (WHICH I LOVE^_^) but like anyone, of course he would want and need that friendship, that connection. do i believe he wouldn’t really care abt friends and shit? yea bc look, i dont really care for that myself but i wont lie to you and tell u i would love just ONE good connection in my life like yk, a friend i actually want but im not gonna be all friendless here so back to akechi!😊 he’s just very normal high schooler to me, ONE THING I LOVE ABT HIM AND SUMI ACTUALLY. i feel like with sumi, because ae doesn’t know like anything abt akechi’s past and what’s he’s done and stuff i feel like akechi just gets to live a “regular high schooler life” with sumi, yk? like everytime akechi and sumi would hang out (i like to believe they would hang out pre royal idgaf🥱) and akechi would complain or talk akira, sumi would just think “ah he’s on his crush thing again” like ae has NO CLUE he’s gonna shoot him in the head and yk what. that connection definitely means something bc that would be the first person akechi has ever met his age who ISNT involved in his “work life”?? like isn’t involved in his cases and shit like. a genuine healthy friendship🤯🤯🤯 and thats ANOTHWR reason i love sumigoro (make fun of me all u want but i seriously do not. gaf😜😝) bc i think akechi would really go and mess that up, he’d be like “wait. do i actually like sumi” all bc of the fact that they have a good connection and akechi isnt used to that

WHICH brings me to what i was GOING TO bring up (sorry for the crazy detour) but YEA, the whole idea of having a love and always feeling the need to self sabotage reminds me smm of shuake. akechi going and ruining their connection even though there was definitely ways he could’ve gone abt killing shido…. with the phantom thieves’ health possibly👀👀???? i feel like that was the prime explain of self sabotage, guilt and the fact that he wasnt even actually processing what he did and HAS done. like that one scene after 11/20 where he’s in the studio filming and their asking him abt the pts and he gets slient and thinks abt some shit like abt the pts and sorta feels guilty (idk if thats the undesirable child scene i think it is but im not sure lol) but yeah that, that is the PRIME explain of processing and guilt. after killing people and doing all that shit for so long i think that was the first time it actually hit him like “oh shit wait. i’ll never see these people again” like the idea that it hit so close to home, these were kids HIS age, even younger too and.. what EYE like to believe, people he thought probably deserved more life than even himself (like the after thought of it) bc u cannot convince me he really sent his ass over to shido’s palace just to tell joker some shit like girl. and getting himself killed too like naww that’s embarrassing as shit😭😭 like ik thats talked abt and thats what the whole scene is abt but like. EXACTLY he felt guilt for his actions and felt he needed to atone!! HE HADNT REALLT PROCESSED ANYTHING IF HE WAS FEELING THAT NOWW ofc he was going to get innocent people killed like. YEA😭😭 but he’s a fucking kid like what did u expect him to do, even if i had that power even with the current knowledge i have☝️🤓 i wouldnt even realize wtf im doing like yk ur doing something bad, but as a smart kid too.. its all abt competition lol, but in all seriousness tho and they show that in the game

ok sorry got off track again but yea, self sabotaging his love with akira all for the competition of it all, clearly i will never just flow into it naturally so ill state it plainly, self sabotaging his love and overall genuine connection with akira bc thats all he was ever thought to do, from his own mother and obviously, his own father. had to sabotage the love he had for his mother bc well. she ended up kwording herself😭😭 and had to sabotage the love for his father (which didnt exist to me idc) bc he had to kill him, i mean. he was awful😭😭 so having that constant battle between that, thats one thing i LOVE like ADORE ABOUT SHUAKE i love the idea that they could be vulnerable with each other i also love akira and his personality cuz he compliments akechi so well in SO MANY WAYS whoever wrote and made their characters and storylines personally ate with their yaoi deliverance😍😍 LMAO that was a joke but honestly. gave us such a good ship TY🙏 atlus at least for SOMETHING ur good at like like the thing i quoted said, THE WAY THAT IF ATLUS WOULDVE GAVE US AN I LOVE YOU BETWEEN THEM. aside from the fact i would’ve killed myself and died and then fell off a cliff and then kill myself again and killed myself a 3rd time just to make sure i also would’ve cried SO BAD, ik thats asking for WAYY TOO MUCHH but let a girl dream smh like IT WOULDVE MESNT SO MUCH AND HAD SM WEIGHT, it truly would’ve been akechi’s first ily that would’ve came from a genuine good place or would’ve been the first ily he ever heard that didnt try to manipulate or gain smth out of him!! which is. BEAUTIFUL ALL WAYS U LOOK AT IT like they definitely had their ups and downs (shuake i mesn) but the fact akira still wouldve loved him and seen him through everything is just so. something abt the unstable and the unstable but a little more stable dynamic😍😍 but seriously tho lol, i love their connection. again, it just speaks a lot to me SO PERSONALLY i hate everything

one thing i love abt royal is how we got to see akechi’s character a bit, i do like the royal writing a lot for this reason, some parts felt like aww yk lol and kinda reminiscent to the beginning of the game which felt a lot more genuine even tho royal’s writing felt more fanservicey, it had SOME sense of like, ok the characters arent written toooo bad here like the middle of persona so i appreciated it and u can tell atlus put a lot more work on the royal trio scenes (the fanservice was crazy in that part😭) so i also loved that too lol bc again, we got to see akechi’s character and the effect joker had on him and how like. less of an asshole he was like i wish we could’ve seen just a BIT more of him. again again i just LOVE dynamics like shuake and seeing characters grow and shit and shuake just does it so well UGH i hate them😭😭

[chemicalpink]

Why the fans are the best privacy protection program.

Disclaimer:  This is a rant. I am ranting out of my personal experience as someone who has been working in the entertainment industry for 5+ years and has occasionally worked in security and hospitality for artists all over the globe. I am also an international specialist on enterprises and fan-centered programmes and have been in close proximity to governmental and international processes as well as criminal justice. Take it with a grain of salt, you know im always open for further discussion however please do so respectfully.

Hello I’m back with another rant after a long time. In light of what we’ve seen in the news today on Joon’s invasion of privacy I wanted to rant a bit on it given that it isn’t the first time this sort of thing has happened. I’ve refrained from ranting mostly because as you know by now, I’ve been working in the Kpop industry as of lately and as I’ve grown in the industry, it has come with greater knowledge but also greatest privacy on matters such as this one, so I’ll try to refrain from explicit details while also giving my two cents of expertise on the matter. 

I’ve seen a lot of HYBE PROTECT JOON  along with hashtags and templates going around, and while yes, the artists protection should and surely does come mainly from their company, the invasion of privacy (especially in the Kpop industry) is a matter that runs far deeper than whatever massive security an artist could have. 

Artists can have dozens of physical barriers to protect them, hundreds of security protocols that ensure they get in and out of places safely, yet all the while these procedures take them further away from their connection to fans and work a funny little something in people’s minds that ends up placing them even in more danger and prone to privacy invasion because of it just because some people strip them away from their humanity and places celebrities on a pedestal where the main train of thought is all they have and are today is thanks to their fans ergo, fans are entitled to know whatever they want to know about them. A statement that has its own in and outs of itself that can be talked about a whole bunch. Truth is, we’re all human and we are all entitled to our own privacy. 

Say, and I’ll focus this on BTS only, Joon can stop going to temples, try and attend places quietly, people can clear out spaces in restaurants for Jimin, they can grant access after hours for Hobi, Jungkook can change time and time again his phone number, Yoongi can walk as fast as he can as he travels from place to place, Jin can exit airports through the diplomatic exit, Taehyung can ask for the company to clear out any rumours, all of the NDAs in the world could be signed, their company could coax industries, papers, magazines, news, enterprises, etc into signing a mutually beneficial convention, they could get an A-level security team wherever they go, yet- it is the mundane things and exposure that ends up getting to them. One that all of us are subjects to. 

Think about it statistically, and just focusing in the Korail incident, just exactly how many people travel via rail in Korea daily, weekly, given that statistics report an approximate of 140 million people per year (just the ones operated by Korail) say, out of those 400,000 people traveling daily, what exactly is the catalyst of tracking down one person? (And I’m not even talking about how scary this fact is as general public)

Realistically speaking, as we live in what always seems to be the highest epitome of a capitalistic world, along with every crease it comes with its industry-driven system. Whatever platform, place, industry, website, etc. you input your data into, there’s someone on the other side that can and will have access to it. Security protocols be damned, if someone wants your data and you’ve provided it, they’ll have it, that is just- systematic. 

So we must boil it down to a less reaching sphere of analysis. The individual one. Why would one person, potentially a worker, place their income in danger just to get some information about a particular person? Motivations, clearly, are unique and down to each individual case, however, for analytic reasons we must suppose the most likely one: they are able to sell it. Now, it’s borderline systematic, sure, we aren’t really questioning the moral of why they would sell it but rather a more objective approach: Why does it sell? 

Why is there potentially someone out there willing to buy said information? 

And now here we get to the ages old loop of capitalism and market law so bare with me. If personal information sells because someone is willing to buy. Why is this hypothetic person willing to buy? Same old story and brings us back to the beginning, because it sells. But hey, it doesn’t reach a market value necessarily. Celebrities privacy has a high price, which is why it is considered a luxury (yes, rough words and completely inhumane to talk about a person but hey, that’s capitalism to you) if only the fewest can have access to said information and it needs to remain mostly secret for it not to lose value, how exactly can one sell it? Easy, social media. 

Privacy and personal information of celebrities is nothing less and nothing more than an access key to a greater assortment of stuff. Think: concert access, location, photos, information that can’t be verified, addresses, schedules. And it sells like no other on social media. Close up photos, rumours on new content, flight schedules, new projects that haven’t been officially announced, you name it, it is out there. 

Revenue doesn’t necessarily means money during this time. Which is why fans are the most effective protection program. We cut the market law loop from the bud. If it doesn’t get interaction on social media, there is really no point in be willing to buy information to access to something that doesn’t sell, hence, there is not a worker willing to sell information that doesn’t get bought and ultimately never gets any attention at all. 

Remember artists are human, just like all of us. They deserve their right to their privacy and we are obligated to remain as fans. Don’t give people the power to strip your faves away from their humanity. It takes less than three minutes to verify official content and to stop interacting with people that do nothing more than monetize of off people’s personal information. 

I know it is a much more complex topic and it has a lot of geographical and cultural context waived into it, but this is just a brief rundown on the matter. Have a safe timezone and I’m sending you all much love. 

Edit: if you’re interested in reading a bit more on PIPA and what (ideally) could happen in regards of its violation you can read a bit on it here (please know that this is a third party information and it isn’t the actual law in Korean, and remember that law is open to interpretation of the authorities)

[vaguely-concerned]

hello! i love your augustine meta! i just (re)read the scene in ntn where he and m - hold john's hands in the shootout and A - tells john something. do you have any theories on what A - could have said? thanks for giving me feels abt this duplicitous slut <3

Aaah thank you so much, I’m so glad you enjoyed it! He is my middle-aged chain smoking bisexual mean girl dead inside threesome enthusiast bastard babygirl and I cannot change this fhdskajfa. 

I must admit I don’t have any set-in-stone ideas for what he said in that scene, though I sure would love to know — and yet somehow it’s always felt to me like the most important part of it is the fact that John didn’t really (couldn’t really? wouldn’t?) listen? Like I feel there’s an echo in that that goes with them through the entire rest of the story too, somehow. It also does a thing in the narrative of showing just how powerful John has made himself by being the only one who remembers. Because whatever was said, there is no one left now but John to know it, to include and exclude as is convenient or comfortable to him, and the others have no choice but to depend on him that way (because he deliberately removed any other choice!!). Reality is held entirely in his hands, even for the people closest to him who lived it once. Combined with ‘is that the truth, or the truth you tell yourself?/what’s the difference?’... fucking chills down my spine every time dude how is that so unspeakably sinister fhsdkajf the baby finger crown surely should be the ultimate ‘wtf john’ indication but that always gets me worse somehow. 

I am partial to the theory — beautifully outlined in this post by @belovedblabber, please check it out!!! —  that Augustine (or A—, rather) told John he loved him at that point (at almost exactly the last possible moment lol maybe he was scared to actually feel anything real pre-lyctorhood too and the hashtag shittiest myriad ever that followed just crystallized it). because the arc from that to ‘I am willing to co-sign myself to an eternity in the deepest pits of hell with you just to ensure that you make it there too’ would be sooooo… it would make my brain even crazier about it than it already is.

[morticious-delicious]

Moving is horrific enough without all this, too. 

ID below the read more: 

[ID: Three screenshots, first is of three tweets (out of thirteen in a thread) from twitter user Tigerbeansarts that say “Guys if you were going to rent a house and it had a LOCKED storage space that you enter thru the upstairs BATHROOM ... 1/13 hashtag reads moving woes

And you notice the WHOLE HOUSE is w/o Air Conditioning however there IS an AC unit in the STORAGE LOFT (visible from inside the attached garage). 2/13 

It has a window. There are two bathrooms without a window but the loft has one. and also in Google pics (old, there is grass in the front instead of the current landscaping) the window is open and with a fan stuck in in it. 3/13″

(Next screenshot is the following five tweets in the thread): 

“Are you legally allowed to ask what’s up there? Is it flammable? Need to be ventilated? Perishable? Alive? IS SOMEONE LIVING IN MY FUTURE LOFT and WHY DON’T WE, the renters, GET THE LONG ASS ROOM FOR OUR USAGE?? 4/13

its 3000 square feet. Its so much house. But there’s the fact that we may have a Hugo Simpson living on the other side of the kids bathroom 5/13 

In addition, when we drove by previously, there was a pit dug out on the side. You ever (see the) 1987 horror film “The Gate” with Stephen Dorff? Yeah when we went back it was just dirt, all smoothed over.  hashtag reads Gatekept Gaslit 666/13

Look, we have to be out by the first of February and all I want is space for my family and all the shit we acquired while retail therapy-ing during quarantine. This house is grand and drafty and has ample room for entertaining guests. 7/13

It also absolutely looked like a creepy old witch lived there or maybe an old couple who were Satanists in the 70s (for the aesthetic). Which I gotta admit the truth- it turned me on. 8/13″

(final screenshot is the last five tweets in the thread) 

Its also connected to a whole community (which is a turn off) but maybe some Rosemarys Baby vibes there now. Number 9/13 

All of which I dig except for the part where I’m pulling my kid out of a tree or trying to coax my daughter from a TV set with static which, I don’t know how we’ll manage with a Roku. hashtag reads Roku no Static Channel 10/13

You have to understand- I’ve lived in a haunted house before . We learned to co-exist. But (if) the walls start dripping blood like- we’re not gonna get our deposit back with a stain like THAT, Beezlejuice. hashtag reads not enough sage in the world 11/13 

Anyway our second choice just went off the market. Just like the first house we loved and asked to view. All signs are pointing to whatever lurks in this dark little cul de sac WANTS me there. Am I gonna finally have to baptize my kid? 12/13

At the end of the day- it has a pool. & the man can have an office and work from home so there will be proof of hashtag reads Paranormal Activity, and I won’t have to be the poor little stir crazy house wife all “I never should’ve dabbled in Wicca and DND and yoga and veganism (crying face emoji)  waaaaaah” 13/13.

Made some small corrections to grammar. End ID] 

[forgottenfuturist]

Why are people still on Twitter?

I once met a man named Martin who was tortured in a Nazi concentration camp, not because he was Jewish or Roma or one of the other ethnicities that the Nazis considered "inferior", but because of his religious beliefs that forbade him from supporting the regime. He could have been released if he agreed to sign a document renouncing his beliefs and pledging to support the Nazis. He refused.

When I was a kid my family was friends with an old Dutch couple named Dan and Christine. They lived through the Nazi occupation of the Netherlands. Dan spent time in a concentration camp, and Christine once came close to getting shot by the Gestapo for trying to stop them from herding the Jews onto the cattle cars that took them to the camps.

Elon Musk may or may not be a Nazi, but he's best friends with Nazis, and he's deliberately using his social media platform, Twitter, to amplify their voices and suppress decent people, all in the name of "free speech". Before Musk took over Twitter, a lot of my acquaintances on there were big on using hashtags to speak out against whatever fresh fascist atrocity was in the news, or loudly encouraging people to vote or otherwise get involved in politics, all in the name of opposing fascism.

Well, now Twitter itself has been turned into a tool to spread fascism and hate. And you don't have to be tortured in a concentration camp or risk getting shot by the Gestapo to oppose it. All you have to do is stop using Twitter. If everybody who claims to be against what Elon Musk has become stopped using the site, it would wither away into another Truth Social knockoff.

I know, some people's livelihoods depend on Twitter to some degree. If that's your situation, then obviously you have a hard decision to make. I'm not you, and I won't presume to boss you around.

But for everyone else, what are you still doing there? Are you against fascism and hatred or not? People have sacrificed their lives to oppose these things, all you have to do is sacrifice the little dopamine rush you get with every retweet or like. Worst case scenario, you lose touch with some people you never met in person. So why won't you do it?

Using Twitter helps Elon Musk. Stop helping him. Log off. Stop using it. It's easy. If you can't muster the willpower to stop using a social network that nobody is forcing you to be on, what will you do in the future if you're under actual pressure to aid and abet atrocities?

Stop using Twitter. Log off. Be who you say you are.

[livvyofthelake]

nevermind still not sleeping i feel like i could throw up i’m so fucking anxious about this class i have to start tomorrow. i KNOW my major literally involves filming i know i picked this but this is a class about filming and shit and i literally cannot do that i’m going to have such a shit fucking time why did i pick this major i’m literally not even supposed to be here i have no plans for after i graduate and to tell the truth it’s the idea of taking this class that’s making me not even want to graduate like. why did i do this why am i here why do i even want this i don’t even know why i want this i’m literally only doing this major because it’s what i wanted when i was 17. SEVENTEEN. everything i’m doing right now in my life rests on the whim of a SEVENTEEN year old??? i was an idiot at 17. i thought i wanted to be a screenwriter when i was 17, NOT panning out the past several years ruined me and i don’t even write anything anymore. it’s all i can do to keep a goddamn diary of daily events. i’m turning 22 this year and don’t even know what i want to be when i grow up it’s pathetic i’m not cut out for any of this truly 😐. why am i having this breakdown literally hours from the start of the semester and not. idk. yesterday even would have been better then i could have cried to my mom or something now i’m just rambling on tumblr oh my god. like i’m literally not supposed to be there. everyone else there is supposed to be there and i’m like. a stray cat. and it fucking sucks and i have like. one friend i could actually talk to about anything real because in addition to letting whatever ambition i once had in me rot away like a pumpkin in november, i also let most of the people in my life turn into ghosts and acquaintances and nothing. and the happiest i’ve been in the past year was the summer when i was just living with my parents and working retail three days a week and not having to go to school for a career in an industry i don’t even think i want to be in anymore due to not being cut out for it. anyway hashtag pathetic girl. it’s nearing 7am. my first wake up alarm goes off at 8. i have to get out of bed at 10. and then i get to be miserable for hours until i come back here around 7pm probably and avoid my roommates and their boyfriends and watch another movie and be miserable and then wednesday i get to do nothing and just wallow around in agony and then on thursday i just do tuesday again until the last class ends around 5 and i drive home even though i hate driving but the only thing i hate more than driving is being in this fucking miserable awful college town longer than i have to be which of course bodes sooo well for the whole. “i’m not supposed to be here” thing. anyway. yeah sure i’ll post this oversharing ramble why not it’s not like this is any more embarrassing than anything else i or the rest of you post on here daily.

[rxscss]

𝓽𝓪𝓼𝓴 001. - 𝓯𝓮𝓵𝓲𝓬𝓲𝓽𝔂 𝓭𝓾𝓹𝓸𝓷𝓽

“nice of you to show up sober.” hannah said to felicity with a raise of her brow, causing felicity to offer a roll of her eyes. the woman practically raised her, she was much more than a manager to her. but still, felicity couldn’t stand being spoken to like a child. being someone who barely had parents, she wasn’t exactly one who responded well to authority. “hey, enough with the ‘tude fee, alright? you just got cast in a movie again for the first time in a long time, i had to beg vogue to do this interview with you...don’t fuck it up. just be yourself....your old self.” hannah said giving felicity a raise of her brow as the camera crew knocked at the door. “go ahead, i’ll be in the kitchen.” she said, giving felicity’s shoulder a squeeze. and with that, she took a deep breath, squeezed her eyes shut for a moment, before turning on her heel and heading towards the door. “hey vogue, i’m felicity dupont. wanna come in?”

On a scale of 1-10, how excited are you about life right now?

"it’s kind of hard to put a number on it, you know? moods constantly change...life constantly changes. and i...took a break for a while, but i’m really excited to start making stuff again.” she said with a soft smile and a nod, although it was the furthest thing from the truth.

Describe yourself in a hashtag?

"#tryingmybest.”

If you could do a love scene with anyone, who would it be?

she couldn’t help the slightest roll of her eyes at the question, wondering if it was a dig at the release of her sex tape. “it’s 2022, i think it’s about time we start equating the value of women’s work in film to the men they have to be intimate with on camera, don’t you?”

If your life was a musical, what would the marquee say?

“a musical? i don’t know maybe ‘one night only,’ i’m not exactly a fan of having my life put on public display.”

What’s one thing people don’t know about you?

"people probably don’t know that i can play 8 instruments - guitar, drums, piano, violin, saxophone, flute, harp and the cello. let’s just say i had a lot of down time in empty studios as a kid.”

What’s your wakeup ritual?

would she give her real wake up ritiual? absolutely not, especially since it usually consisted of taking care of whatever hangover she had. “i like to be active first thing in the morning. go for a run or a swim depending on the weather and really get the blood flowing. but other than that the routine itself differs every day.”

What’s your go to bed ritual?

another one she’d have to lie about. the last thing she needed to admit was how much sleeping alone terrified her and how she much rather fill her bed with a stranger. “i’m not really a fan of all that fancy skincare stuff or having a twenty step routine, as long as my sheets are clean and my room is cold, i’m out like a light within seconds.”

What’s your favorite time of day?

"i like between two to three in the morning in california. if you go down to the beach when all the city lights are out, you can see the stars.”

Dream country to visit?

"norway to see the northern lights.”

What’s the biggest surprise you’ve had?

"probablyt when i won my first oscar for girl, interrupted. it was such a risky role that was out of my comfort zone and i was just beyond honored to be recognized for it.”

Comfy shoes or dress shoes?

"comfy, always.”

Vintage or new?

"vintage, always. more than half of my closet is from the thrift store.”

Who do you want to write your obituary?

"well, that’s a dark thought. i would hope it would be someone i care about...so maybe my manager hannah or mallory.”

Style icon?

"jane birkin. no one can do casual cool as good as she did.”

What are three things you can’t live without?

“my guitar, my journal and mallory and hadley...we’re gonna count that as one because they’re a package deal.”

What’s one ingredient you put in everything?

"i’m not much of a cook, but when i do i’m notorious for oversalting.”

What 3 people living or dead would you like to make dinner for?

she would have loved to say her mom, maybe in another life if they had had a relationship before she died, that would’ve been her answer. but she was truly the last person she ever wanted to see. “amy winehouse, sylvia plath and marilyn monroe. i feel like there’s a lot that can be learned from some of history’s most misunderstood and overly-judged women.”

What’s your biggest fear in life?

she had a million fears, she was practically riddled in them. of dying miserable and alone like her mother, of never being loved, of not being capable of feeling love herself, of never being good enough. but those were all things she would kept to herself. she was trying to show that she was fine, right? “what was that cheesy quote from a cinderella story? never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.”

Window or aisle seat?

"always window.”

What’s your current TV obsession?

"i’ve been into really goofy comfort shows lately - arrested development, it’s always sunny in philadelphia, that 70′s show, all the classics.”

Favorite app?

"nowadays, i really try to limit my screentime as much as possible.”

Secret talent?

"well i mentioned i play eight instruments before, so i guess that would be it.”

Most adventurous thing you’ve done in your life?

"i wouldn’t say anything i’ve done could be categorized as adventurous...yet, that is. i’d love to take a year or two off and just fall off the grid and just travel the world and see everything that i haven’t.”

How would you define yourself in three words?

she really only had negative things to say about herself lately, but she’d keep it neutral for vogue. “hard working, resilient and...empathetic.” she said with a soft nod.

Favorite piece of clothing you own?

"i have this vintage 1972 leather jacket i found at a yard sale about a decade ago and i’ve literally worn the absolute crap out of it, but i’ll never, ever get rid of it.”

Must have clothing item everyone should have?

"a really, really good pair of jeans. there’s nothing better than a good vintage pair of levis.”

Superpower you would want?

"invisibility.”

What’s inspiring you in life right now?

"i’m still looking for it, but i’ll be sure to let you know when it comes.”

Best piece of advice you’ve received?

"probably that everyone looks out for themselves and that you have to have your own back, especially in this business.”

Best advice you’d give your teenage self?

she thought back to her teenage self for a moment - the girl who began hustling to become an actress at just fourteen years old, who had emancipated from her father and was trying to build a life all by herself with no parents, no guidance from anyone except the people she paid. she had always been alone. and her teenage self would be so disappointed in what she allowed her life to turn into after how hard she had worked. “i...uh...i don’t know. i think i would just give her a hug.” she choked out quietly, clearing her throat. “next question, please.”

A book that everyone should read?

“let that shit go by bruna nessif.”

What would you like to be remembered for?

"i would hope to be remembered for making an impact or a difference in a good way, even if it’s just on one person’s life.”

How do you define beauty?

“looks come and go, i think real beauty is in people’s souls.”

What do you love most about your body?

"i love that it’s been through a lot and it’s still able to carry me every single day.”

Best way to take a rest/decompress?

“a nice bubble bath and playing guitar.”

Favorite place to view art?

"i love going down to venice and seeing all the street art. sure, it’s one thing to see it in a museum. but to see real people, creating something out of nothing is much more inspiring to me.”

If your life were a song, what would the title be?

she wouldn’t admit that she had already written a song that she deemed to be the anthem of her life when she was going through the worst of her scandal. music and her love for singing was certainly not something she wanted to share in fear of comparison to her mother. “i don’t know, maybe something like “shit happens.” because well...shit happens, right?”

If you could master one instrument, what would it be?

“i know a lot of them so i’m not sure...maybe an accordion? bag pipes?”

If you had a tattoo, where would it be?

“i’m not sure, i’m really indecisive, i couldn’t imagine having something on my body forever.”

What is your favorite animal?

"ladybugs.”

What’s your spirit animal?

"a butterfly. they’re always changing and growing.”

Best gift you’ve ever received?

"hannah got me this locket for my fifteenth birthday.” she said with a soft smile, pulling at the small gold heart around her neck as she looked towards the kitchen at hannah before back at the cameras. “it was the first nice piece of jewelry that anyone’s every gotten for me, so definitely that.”

Best gift you’ve ever give?

"probably hadley’s first birthday. i filled mallory’s living room to the brim with presents. but definitely the best one had to be the little guitar i got her. i can’t wait to teach her how to use it one day. “

What’s your favorite board game?

"i never really played boardgames...so what’s the basic answer everyone gives? monopoly?”

What’s your favorite color?

"red.”

Least favorite color?

"is it weird to say i don’t have a least favorite?”

Where do you feel most at peace?

“ at the beach at night.”

What’s your favorite thing to do in your time off?

"travel to a place i’ve never been to before.”

What’s your hair-care routine?

"wash it? i don’t know, i don’t do anything special. i’m a very low maintenance gal. i don’t have the patience for all that stuff.”

Pilates or yoga?

"neither, i’m more into running.”

Coffee or tea?

"depends on my mood, but usually coffee.”

What’s the weirdest word in the English language?

"probably bologna. because it has no business rhyming with ‘pony’ and being spelt like that.”

Dark chocolate or milk chocolate?

"is both an option?”

Stairs or elevator?

"escalator. best of both worlds.”

Summer or winter?

"fall and spring. i’m more of a happy-medium person.”

You are stuck on an island, you can have only three things with you. What are those things?

“a nice island get away? just give me a comfy place to sleep and some good food and that’s all i need. maybe my guitar to keep me occupied, too.”

What are your phobias?

"the dark...i always need some kind of light on when i go to sleep.”

A skill you’re working on mastering?

"patience.”

Best thing to happen to you this year?

"still waiting for it. but we’ve still got a few weeks left, don’t we?”

Worst thing to happen to you this year?

"i think tmz can answer that one.”

Best compliment you’ve ever received?

“i once had a casting director say i reminded him of lauren bacall. and she was one of my favorites when i was teaching myself about film, so that was really special to me.”

Favorite smell?

"sandalwood and pine.”

Hugs or kisses?

"hugs.”

If you made a documentary, what would it be about?

"the mistreatment of women in the entertainment industry and the misogyny they have to face on a daily.”

Last piece of content you consumed that made you cry?

"i read a script recently that i really loved. i didn’t get the role...but the film seems like it’s going to be beautiful.”

Going out or staying in?

"going out.”

Sweet or savory?

“sweet”

Celebrity crush?

"what are we twelve?”

How you know you’re in love?

"i’ve never been really in love before, but i like to think that you know when you are when you just...i don’t know, feel safe, i guess.”

Song you can listen to on repeat?

"stairway to heaven, led zeppelin.”

If you could switch lives with someone for a day who would it be?

"probably someone completely and totally normal. i’d love to know what it’s like to just be a regular person who can go grocery shopping or can hang out in a cafe.”

What are you most excited about at this time in your life?

"new beginnings.”

Your go to for having a good laugh?

"athena sinclair, always.”

Your affirmation for today?

"take it one day at a time. that’s all any of us can do. tomorrow isn’t guaranteed anyway, right?”

[nickgerlich]

Take The Challenge

It seems that practically every month has some significance attached to it these days. Some months are well known, like June is Pride Month, October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, and February is Black History Month. There are also lesser-known months, like No-Shave November and September’s Prostate Cancer Awareness Month for the guys.

And then there’s the months who significance is completely crowdsourced and denoted by a hashtag, like the currently popular #nospendchallenge to accompany No Spend September. It is strictly a social media event, a movement if you will, to raise our spending consciousness. And, oddly enough, it is kind of the antithesis of everything this course is about, which is our consuming ways.

I’m not sure why it took until yesterday, after the month is 65% over, for this to pop onto my newsfeed, but maybe it’s because it has reached critical mass. TikTok alone has more than 18,000 posts related to it.

Of course, it is practically impossible to completely refrain from buying anything for a whole month, unless you have stockpiled a bunch of non-perishable food and live in a cave. But you can curtail, kick the can down the road, etc., just to get the feel of it all. And, the idea is scalable, meaning there’s no rigid enforcement. Do it for a week, two weeks, whatever, and become more aware in the process of how and where you spend your money.

I remember doing this back in the 90s, when I made much less money. I kept a daily log with pen and paper, tracking every cent I spent. It was very informative, and caused me to think a lot more before buying things, including coffees and lunch. I started packing my lunch instead. Today, I am still counting things, but this time around I am counting calories, protein, and walking miles, in an effort to better balance my diet and fitness. You know what? When you track everything meticulously, you think twice before indulging in snacks or beers, or skipping a workout so you can binge a show on Netflix.

It’s pretty easy to track whatever you want these days, thanks to mobile apps. There are apps for dieting and fitness, as well as expenses. It’s too easy, though, in the nearly cashless society in which we live to lose track of how much we spend, because you lose the tactile experience of handing over money. Unless you monitor your bank account online, you might miss the full impact of your spending ways. As for calories, you better log them one way or another as you consume them, or you will forget that Little Debbie fruit pie you ate yesterday on the way to your hike.

Ahem. No problem. I burned it off and more.

If you’re skeptical about No Spend September, you would be justified in being so. It applies only to nonessential purchases. While it is possible to shun frivolous purchases, like your PSL or craft beer, ultimately you’ll have to buy more toilet paper, groceries, etc. It’s a lot like dieting. You still have to eat something. Starvation, whether it is food or spending money, is not a viable option.

Still, I find great value in the exercise, but if a person returns to their profligate ways come October, it will have been for naught. We have all seen people go on massive weight loss crusades, only to slowly return to their former size and shape. There’s life to be lived after the goal is reached, whether it is losing 20 pounds or training for an athletic feat. Spending is no different.

All of which points to the ultimate truth from exercises like this: It’s about lifestyle change. It means that October surely follows September, and whatever we set in place this month needs to be carried forward to the next. And the next. And so on. I hiked both the Grand Canyon and New Mexico’s Wheeler Peak this summer, but it’s all part of an overall training for walking a Camino in Spain, hopefully next year. Look it up. Meanwhile, I keep going.

For all of you pursuing your dreams, whether it is saving money, losing weight, preparing for an event, I say “Stay the course!” And while No Spend September may run a little contrary to what this course is about, it’s not a bad thing. Besides, any regime that helps you get to know yourself a little better and develop some resolve, then good on you.

Dr “Spend Less, Eat Less, Walk More” Gerlich

Audio Blog