#okay enough celebrity drama for forever!!!

[klausysworld]

Heyy could I please get a birthday story on the 12th of january? Just do what ever you wanna write as long as it as something to do with a birthday of the reader / Y/N

Please and thank you<3

Happy Birthday!!

In The Family

Birthdays were a complicated topic for the Mikaelsons. After living so long time became more and more insignificant and irrelevant to them, especially being vampires where sleep wasn't mandatory. Forever is a long time and yet if time is not real then forever is nothing at all.

For Y/N birthdays were everything. Her family always made a fuss over each other's birthdays, the celebration of the life they'd been blessed with and the ways in which they'd developed them.

However, Y/N knew that her vampire friends were overly fond so she didn't tell them when her birthday was coming up. Not even Rebekah.

She assumed they'd never ask either because it simply did not matter to them which she understood from their points of view and she never pushed the matter.

Y/N did her birthday as usual.

She went out with her friends the weekend before, minus Rebekah, Kol, Elijah and Klaus as she knew they wouldn't get along with her childhood friends as well as she'd maybe hope and so they didn't feel pressured into buying presents or embarrassingly singing happy birthday to her. Y/N got drunk and danced around deep into the night, laughing through the streets as she and her oldest friend stumbled to the hotel they were staying at for the night.

She was supposed to see her parents on her actual birthday, however they rang her all stressed out and upset saying that something important had come up and they'd have to see her the day after.

Y/N was a little upset of course that she wouldn't get to see them like normal but she understood and told them it was just another day and it could wait for a family emergency. They offered to send her gifts over, face time in the day when possible but she told them to wait until the day after and pretend her birthday had not been yet.

Her family were devastated to miss the day, they'd always made such a big deal in the past and so missing it for the first time was strange for everyone.

Y/N thought it wouldn't matter, that she too could pretend her birthday wasn't for another day...but she couldn't, not really; not truly.

Instead she ended up sat quietly on her couch, dressed for a day that wasn't going to start, watching a film she didn't really want to see and eating a microwave meal because she had forgotten to go shopping and to be honest she wasn't so sure she could afford it. Living on her own was difficult enough, especially when her job was so frequently interrupted by Mikaelson family drama; Rebekah always had her on call begging her to come over because something terrible had happened. Once Bex was okay, Y/N would find Kol upset and comfort him, find Elijah silently contemplating which was never a good thing and last but not least she'd find Klaus staring blankly at a half painted canvas, unable to conjure anything else onto the page.

She and Klaus had a complex relationship. They enjoyed each other's company and simply enjoyed each other but Klaus was too cautious of what happened to those her got to close to him and Y/N always feared she was imagining his feelings so brushed it off as much as she could. However, it was no secret that they liked each other, Rebekah teased them both endlessly and hoped they'd finally give in. Kol hoped Y/N would lighten Klaus's grouchy mood, and Elijah wondered if it were even possible for Klaus to love so purely again.

But still, their twisted family dynamic meant that she was the Mikaelson fire distinguisher which messed with her hours at work and therefore her pay.

On top of that, spending money on a hotel the week before and however much alcohol had not helped her cupboards nor her fridge. So her home remained empty and lonely for the majory of the day.

It was late afternoon, early evening when Rebekah messaged. It appeared to be urgent so Y/N rushed to be there for them, Fearing someone could be hurt or worse.

She sped in her car all the way there, probably gaining multiple speeding tickets which would catch her up in a weeks time. Her hands quickly pushed the doors open, her feet clumsily carrying her inside, her voice strained as she called out for Rebekah, then Klaus when she got no answer. A flood of worry filled her as she hurried up the stairs, checking each room but finding no one before going back down and bursting through the dining room swinging doors.

Her breathing was a state, her hair stuck to her forehead as she fell silent and froze. Each Mikaelson stood behind their place at the table, smiling as innocently as they could at her.

The table was covered in candles and flowers, a pile of presents in the centre. Her expression relaxed slightly and then softened, her eyes starting to sting as tears built up that they'd do something like this for her.

"You didn't think we'd forget did you?" Rebekah asked with a laugh, leaving her post and coming over in front of Y/N who was wiping her eyes.

"I never even told you, how...how did you know?" She sniffed and Rebekah smiled. "Nik found out." She whispered, as if the rest of the people in the room didn't have sonic hearing. Y/N's eyes drifted up to Klaus gratefully and he smiled back, his hands clenching slightly as he held onto the back of his chair.

"We thought we'd let you have the day with your family before making you come over." Rebekah grinned, grabbing her hand and pulling her to sit at the head of the table. "How was it with your family? Who came? Parents? Aunts and Uncles? Oh cousins- oh..." Rebekah shut up when Kol kicked the back of her leg, her eyes focusing on Y/N who was fighting tears.

"I'm sorry." She sniffled, her face red as Klaus too moved from his place and rubbed the side of her arm comfortingly. "My family couldn't come is all, it's not a big deal I just haven't ever done it alone before." She whispered and they each softened.

"You aren't alone anymore, love." Klaus murmured softly, kissing the side of her head and pulling her seat back for her to sit before tucking her back in.

"Yeah, don't worry darling, we're practically family anyways so you aren't really missing out." Kol shrugged, filling her wine glass making her laugh a little.

"I do hope we didn't worry you too much with the ominous text message, dear. I did tell Rebekah it was too harsh." Elijah apologised, frowning to himself but Y/N wiped her eyes again and shook her head with a smile.

"It's alright Elijah, it made for a really lovely surprise." She told him earnestly and his features relaxed as he nodded faintly.

Dinner started coming out only a moment later, all of Y/N's favourite foods as a picky eater loaded onto each of their plates and placed in front of them making Y/N blush pink and smile wide at their antics.

"See? This is my kind of dinner, good choice darling." Kol licked his lips, lifting a slice of pizza and letting it droop onto his mouth making Klaus roll her eyes and Y/N giggle.

As they ate, Y/N's eyes drifted round the room; seeing the extent of their effort as she looked at the dozens of balloons that had floated up. Then her gaze flicked to each Mikaelson. Kol was eating like a caveman, Rebekah was mixing her ketchup and mayonnaise like a child, Elijah was delicately cutting into his chicken nugget and Klaus...Klaus was looking back at her.

A small silence lingered over them, even as the others spoke between them. Y/N was brought back into it when Rebekah started telling a funny story about Elijah from centuries before, effectively embarrassing the usually stoic original and pulling a genuine laugh from Klaus.

They told Y/N about the faint memories they had of birthdays from when they were human, children especially and how they would spoil their little brother Henrik.

"In a way, you're our younger sister now. Much, much younger, you know...a thousand years give or take but still." Kol said with his mouth full. The sentiment there but his humour everpresent.

"Perhaps a sister to us however I do doubt she and Klaus would ever consider the other a sibling." Elijah commented and everyone's heads turned to him, not expecting the comment from Elijah's lips.

Rebakah started laughing first, then Kol which encouraged them all to fall into a cycle of giggles.

Klaus and Y/N flew past the teasings and continued with the evening. Eating icecream and chatting away before the cake was brought out.

It was a beautiful cake, almost magically so.

Y/N could feel her cheeks burn red and her smile go so wide it hurt when they sang happy birthday to her and clapped as she blew out the candles, telling her to make a wish. She made eye contact with Klaus as she did and Rebekah snickered.

An hour or so later Elijah began to pack things away, Kola and Rebekah suddenly disappeared and Klaus refused to let Y/N tidy up her own party so he took her upstairs.

They walked the stairs leisurely as if it were obvious something were waiting up there. Y/N wasn't sure what but she definitely hadn't expected his art room to be a romantically lit space. Music playing softly in the back ground as he stood before her and held out his hand for a dance.

He spun her to his chest, his hand in hers and the other on her waist keeping her close as they swayed against each other. His eyes stayed on hers, daring her to look away as he dipped her.

Barely a second went before both of them leaned into a kiss. Y/N's hand left his to hold onto his neck as he clutched her hips, holding her up to him as their lips moulded together perfectly.

Klaus pulled back, listening to her panting softly for lost air as he rest his forehead against hers and loosened his grip on her slightly. "You're family" He whispered, his voice uncharacteristically soft. "Your birthday is important and I promise we'll never, ever miss it."

"Thank you, Klaus. For everything today." She muttered quietly, almost shyly and he smiled, kissing her cheek just beside her lips.

"You're welcome, love. Happy birthday."

[redbullgirly]

HI BARBIE! HI KEN! [part 2, LH44 smau]

Lewis Hamilton x reader

Masterlist & Hi Barbie! Hi Ken! [part 1, LH44 smau]

Summary: Lewis and his "real life Barbie" girlfriend, Y/N Y/L/N, are enjoying each others company during winter break. February brings unexpected drama when the seven-time World Champion decides to leave his team... though is that the only surprise waiting for the fans?

Warnings: Little cliffhanger at the end, but don't worry, I plan on making part 3 soon enough :).

Author's Note: This is continuation of the Lewis x barbie!fashion!icon!reader request, hope you'll all like it. This time there wasn't so much of "barbie content", but I'm sure you won't mind. I honestly love this series, plus there are still many photos for me to use, so stay tuned and let me know if you want to be added to the taglist! :)

lewishamilton posted on instagram

liked by susie_wolff, yourusername, charles_leclerc and 1,210,564 others

tagged: yourusername and fencer

lewishamilton Happy holidays from our little trip to mountains 🏔

view all 6,928 comments

user1 I swear to God this is the first time I see Lewis in snow

user2 ikr? like can he even sky? isn't it dangerous for him as an f1 driver??😭

yourusername merry christmas everybody, love u!!🎄🫶

liked by the author

user3 Very happy and merry Christmas to you too Y/N🥰

user4 yeah yeah... but where's the usual christmas post y/n?!

user5 that's what I wanna know user5 😥

user6 She always posts the hot pics with their tree... and this year nothing ☹️

yourusername omg sry guys, i didn't think you'd care sm! i was actually sick on the christmas eve and didn't feel like celebrating 🙈💖

user4 ohhh that's totally okay y/n!!!!

user7 Thanks for replying, hope you'll get better soon!❤️‍🩹

charles_leclerc I see you're copying my training now😉

user8 lol charles just try not to fall on your face on ski

user9 no but can you imagine if we got Charles & Lewis training together in the mountains 😩

user10 It wouldn't even have to be in the mountains... I'd actually prefer them training somewhere hot so they don't have to wear shirts🤭

user9 i love your way of thinking girly

user11 King 👑

roscoelovescoco Mom's and dad's playing's in's the snow's ❄️

liked by the author and yourusername

user12 they left you home alone Roscoe?

roscoelovescoco Of course's not's... my auntie's watched's me's ☺️

user13 This is so adorable🥹🥹

user14 y'all don't understand how much I love their little family

user15 😘🖤✌️💯🌟

user16 y/n's ski suit looks so cool

fencer Good times man!

liked by the author and yourusername

user17 You are my God, Lewis Hamilton❤️

mercedesamgf1 Enjoy your holidays and don't break anything please!⛷🤍

yourusername trying!! 😊🌨

user18 lmfao

user19 Imagine if their best driver broke a leg or smth💀

user20 as a Lewis fan that'd be the last straw of my depression xd

user21 It's enough they couldn't build him a decent car last two years 🥲

user21 you & y/n are the best couple ever!🥰❤️

user22 Why's Lewis in red tho?

user23 sus 🤨

user24 some of you are truly bored and delusional🤣

user25 He probably has it so Y/N can see him on the slope and watches over him tbh

user26 idk where the narrative of lewis being bad at skying came from but i love it 😭

twitter

yourusername posted on instagram stories

seen by lewishamilton, haileybieber, danielricciardo, emmawatson and 562,983 others

lewishamilton replied to your story: Love you so much baby!❤️

yourusername love u too!!!💞

lewishamilton You are my brave girl, aren't you?

lewishamilton It's great you share your experience with others Y/N and trust me when I say I'll always be there for you 🫶🏾🫶🏾

yourusername awww lew, i know and i'll be always so grateful for it 🥰

lewishamilton Anything for my Barbie yourusername reacted with ❤️ to this message

user1 replied to your story: You and Lewis are just soooo cute omg

alexandrasaintmleux replied to your story: forever y/n!!🤍🌺

yourusername ofc!!!

yourusername you're probably the only reason i hope the negotiations w ferrari will work out 🙈🤭

alexandrasaintmleux oh yeah, it'd be great to have you in the garage next year 💕

yourusername yeah, let's see what happens in few weeks!

user2 replied to your story: so prettyyyyyy i wanna be u

user3 replied to your story: THE IT GIRL

landonorris replied to your story: The question isn't if you'll be at every gp but if you'll come to McLaren hospitality for one of them😏

yourusername pretty sure mercedes wouldn't be happy about that 🫣

landonorris Oh c'mmon Y/NNNN

landonorris You promised me like ten years ago you'd come

yourusername you were a literal baby ten years ago lando...

landonorris But a cute baby who deserves to have you in McLaren hospitality!!!

yourusername okay okay, i'll come for a visit this year 😽

landonorris ONE HAMILTON DOWN TWO TO GO💪

yourusername what?? 😭

landonorris I decided my life goal is to get you, Roscoe and Lewis to be my fans 😁😁

landonorris Lewis can wait till retirement ofc 😁😁

yourusername idk if i hate you or love you mr. worldwide

landonorris 🤷😙

user4 replied to your story: Mommy and daddy fr

user5 replied to your story: 😍

user6 replied to your story: Hope you'll heal soon if you're still sick!!!

yourusername posted on instagram

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tagged: lewishamilton and roscoelovescoco

yourusername my job is beach 🦀🐬🐚🪸☀️ (btw how many emojis is too much??)

view all 4,068 comments

lewishamilton Isn't that supposed to be Ken's line darling?

yourusername theoretically... but i think i look better on the beach, don't you? 🤭🤷‍♀️

lewishamilton Well of course, your fashion taste when it comes to bikini is hard to beat ✨🫶🏾

yourusername damn are you saying i look hot in that bikini mr. hamilton? ☺️💞

lewishamilton It's Sir actually

yourusername oh shut up lew, i knew you're gonna bring it up 😭

landonorris I just witnessed Lewis openly flirting through instagram comments... the world won't ever be the same. I need to bleach my eyes 😓

yourusername yeah u should learn from my bf lando norizz

landonorris Heyyy this is online bullying, someone stop it

yourusername 😘😘

landonorris 🫤

user1 i have no idea what just happened but i loved every second of it

user2 It looks like when Lewis finally interacts with someone on instagram, it can get WILD

user3 not y/n using lando norizz 💀

user4 she's one of us now

user5 BUT CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW SWEET Y/N & LEWIS ARE PLS?!!🥹

user6 Y/N living her best life and I'm here for it

francisca.cgomes enjoy!🌴

liked by the author

yourusername thx kika, you too!!💓

user7 On my knees for you🛐🛐🛐

roscoelovescoco The fruit's on's the plane's was yummy's 😋🥗

yourusername i definitely agree, let's thank dad for spoiling us!💖

lewishamilton My favourites deserve only the best 😉

user8 AWWWW so cute

user9 I'll never understand why rich people torture their pets like this... c'mmon, why would you give fruit to a dog? He needs meat and dog food. 🙄😤

user10 tf user9 you clearly don't know them at all if you think they're torturing Roscoe... this dog has better life than most of us lol xd

yourusername i'd just like to make it clear to everyone that me and lewis take the best care of our dog we possibly can, give him the food he wants and needs and love him dearly. it feels very offending for someone who doesn't see into our private life to assume we're "torturing" roscoe. you'll be blocked user9 and goodbye

liked by lewishamilton

user11 You know you fucked up when queen Y/N herself writes smth like this to you 🫢

user12 tell them girl!!! you & lew are literally the best parents to roscoe ever!!!❣️

user13 🔥😍

user14 THE BODY GIVING

kellypiquet Wow, the dress is so beautiful!💝

yourusername aww kelly thank you sm! definitely have to see each other soon 💕🫶

kellypiquet Can't wait for the girls talk!

user15 omg imagine listening to y/n y/l/n and kelly piquet casually having girls talk w each other 😫😫

user16 The tea has to be hot between the wags

user17 OMG, gorgeous as always 💖

user18 this couple has me in a chokehold

user19 RIGHT?! why is nobody talking about the 4th pic

user20 They're so hot fr 🥵

user21 and cute too🥺

user22 Love you Y/N 💋

lewishamilton posted on instagram

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tagged: yourusername

lewishamilton It's always important to focus on happy memories and remember the good moments with your loved ones. Couldn't ask for better people around me 🤞🏾💫

view all 11,239 comments

user1 funny how he talks about positivity and then in the first picture he's holding middle fingers up lmfao XD

user2 Maybe he took Daniel's F.E.A. rule to his heart🤣

user3 what's that???

user2 Fuck 'em all

yourusername so lucky to have you around me lew! 🥰💗

liked by the author

user4 stoppp I love her

user5 I wanna have what they have😩

charles_leclerc 🤞💫

user6 Ariana what are you doing here?!

user7 Beautiful 🙌❤️

user8 ohhh lew w his dad it's so cute

user9 His dad and Y/N in the same post... we are getting fed rn

neymarjr Amen brother!🙏❤️

liked by the author

user10 I love their their friendship

user11 it's so unreal how the world is small and my fav football player is friends with my fav driver🤭

user12 THE MAN

user13 the second pic is adorable 🥹🥹

user14 I'm jealous but I don't know if I wanna be him or her

user15 honestly i wanna be the third person in their relationship... imagine dating y/n y/l/n & lewis hamilton all at once😩

user16 OMG REAL

user17 boyfriend lewis is my favorite 🫡

1st February 2024

yourusername posted on instagram

liked by scuderiaferrari, lewishamilton, maxfewtrell, t22felton and 3,340,276 others

yourusername guess it's time to change colours ❤️🍓🌹🏎

view all 29,650 comments

scuderiaferrari Welcome to the team, Y/N!❤️‍🔥🏎

user1 you'll make our fav wag depressed next year lol

user2 Ferrari made a master move here 👏

user3 welcome y/nnnnn 🥰

user4 I'm still shocked

user5 me too sis😭

user6 We all are 😃

user7 🔥🔥

user8 when the gf is posting about it, we know it's not just a joke anymore😥

user9 FORZA FERRARI

user10 omg me & y/n y/l/n will be fans of the same team!!!!

user11 literally the only good thing about this

alexandrasaintmleux red looks gorgeous on you 💋💋

yourusername on both of us babe 💋💋

user12 BESTIES

user11 okay this is another good thing about the whole lewis situation xd

user13 Y/N and Alex will be so iconic next year 🙇‍♀️

user14 literally life goals to be like them😍

user15 So excited for this🤩 favorite driver and favorite team and favorite wag🤝

user16 idc about ferrari, but y/n in red slays

user17 omg yessss she's so hot in that dress🥵

charles_leclerc And now you can't make fun of me and my therapist 😘

liked by the author

user18 LOL

user19 not him admitting he goes to therapy bc of ferrari💀

user20 What about Carlos?? You said you come as a package 😡😪

user21 so true user20 it's so disrespectful towards carlos

user22 Guys calm down, this is their job and it's known for brutal driver switches. You'll have to deal with it, it's not personal business 🤷‍♂️

user23 yeah i don't think they're such good friends anyway... it was all for pr and marketing lmao

user24 I agree that it's just a sport, but pls don't do this to my charlos heart... their friendship HAS to be real😓

user25 Always support u and your boyfriend😉😉😉🙌🙌🙌

user26 Carlos deserved so much more!

user27 yes but she can't do anything about it girl, she's literally just dating Lewis 😐

user28 "Everybody is a Ferrari fan. Even if they say they're not, they are Ferrari fans." Vettel❤️

user29 i did not think it was real

user30 I need Lewis to comment something about this other than his statement pls 😭

user31 yeah i had high hopes bc he always comments and interacts w y/n's posts...

user32 Guess not this time😒

user33 Y/N unleashing more waves of chaos

user34 and we love our barbie for that 🤭

messages between Y/N and Lewis

THE END

Author's Note: Thank you for reading this! I'll appreciate likes, reblogs, comments, follow and any other way of support. Also, I started my taglist, so if you want to be added or removed, let me know! That way you!ll be first to know that another smau or story came out :). Sorry for the cliffhanger at the end, but don't worry, I plan on making another part. Have a great day!

Taglist: @namgification @bloodyymaryyy

[doberbutts]

There’s also all the Tiger Woods stuff — as that one well circulated post put it ‘hearing about tiger woods as a child in the early 2000s you’d assume he was going to jail’ I get that in the immediate aftermath of the revelation it was like. PERFECT TMZ shit, high drama and all, but god that got dragged on and on

Yup, people get really weird when literally any black celebrity does anything wrong.

Which, don't get me wrong. Vick's fighting ring was horrific. The firsthand accounts of what happened on that property were truly gruesome. It was bad.

But. But. But. He also went to prison. For nearly two years. And then he spent some additional time in and out and on house arrest due to various violations of parole. He paid the maximum fine allowed by law. He was punished. People to this day, 16 years later, post fantasies about how much they want to kill him, torture him, and continuously ruin his life. They talk about how every time he does anything new, they call up the people in charge and protest and get signatures on petitions etc until inevitably the company caves and cancels whatever contract they've got with him. There are people who still will not watch the Eagles play even though he hasn't been involved with them in over a decade.

What punishment is enough? Does one black man need to spend the rest of his life being hounded by these self-professed dog lovers in order to have proper penance for his crimes? Does he need to spend the rest of his life in prison? Should he be executed as these people are calling for? Is he never allowed to make any money ever again? Is he permanently banned from any form of media coverage? Currently he's doing a miniseries where he dives into the lives of black quarterbacks, which people have tried to get cancelled because he's going to make money off of it and they don't want a dog fighter to have any amount of spotlight. None of the dogs removed from him are even alive anymore. When is it enough? When can we say, okay he has learned his lesson, he is allowed to be just a guy again?

Never? Forever punishment is acceptable? This is really the opinion we're going to have on the prison abolition website, where we say that forever punishment is bad and teaches nothing except that everyone is one major screwup away from being worth less than dirt? Really?

The thing is. When black people say black lives matter. They mean all black lives matter. Even the lives of black people that it's hard to defend. Even the criminal matters, because he is a human, and he has life, and he can be so much more than just a man in a box for the rest of his life.

And that is especially true when other football stars have gotten off more lightly for worse. The children JoePa knew about are still alive and dealing with their trauma today as adults, and they get to live with the knowledge that he knew and he chose not to help and he is still celebrated and worshipped as a coaching god to this day. People only get this intense about it when it's black folks doing it.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

reading updates: october 2023

hi everybody!!! things (by which I mean everything) have been a little bit hectic lately (by which I mean it feels like everything is one fire 100% of the time), which I guess explains why I'm late posting this AND why I only finished four books in all of October.

I would be very sad about this if the number of books I read had any correlation to my value as a person, but luckily it doesn't! so I don't give a shit, I am literally just vibing and trying to have a good time reading my silly little stories. here's a book report about it.

what I've been reading:

The Goblin Emperor (Katherine Addison, 2014) - okay, so picture this: you're the fucking elf king's least favorite son. you're not a bastard, but he didn't love your mom and after she died he basically banished you to a miserable little estate in bumfuck nowhere with no one but your abusive older cousin for company. probably he was going to leave you out there forever and hope that you would die quietly so no one would ever have to remember you existed. (un)fortunately, your shitty dad and all of his male heirs just died in a blimp accident and now you're the emperor. GOOD LUCK. this book is political fantasy of the highest order, with loads of machinations and intrigue and chewy worldbuilding interspersed with genuinely sweet moments between characters as one very good boy befriends his way to power. blah blah empires are inherently evil, obviously yes but this is a made up empire with 0 real consequences and Maia is my little dude. the only way I could love him more would be if he'd just nutted up and kissed his boy secretary on the mouth.

Happy Hour (Marlowe Granados, 2020) - I kept seeing this book enthusiastically as kind of a light fizzy funtime celebrating being young and free and running around New York City with no plans, and man... that was not my experience! Isa and Gala are maybe the most stressful girls I've ever encountered in fiction: perpetually broke and hungry, absolutely lacking in direction or ambition, always ricocheting listlessly from one situation to another in search of a good time and mostly only discovering disappointment, I need these girlies to get their lives together for my sake as a reader. there's one scene in particular where Isa is crashing with some disgustingly wealthy friends at the beach and keeps getting callously dismissed while sweating profusely and trying to figure out how she's going to convince them to keep paying for her food and it was so visceral that I developed a second, worse anxiety disorder because of it. Granados' writing is stylish, to be sure, but drama was not worth it for me.

The Magpie Lord (KJ Charles, 2013) - this historical fantasy romance is quick, dynamic, and horny. I can't actually say that I'm particularly charmed by the quality of the writing, which is there to hurtle you at warp speed between scenes of homoeroticism and bald exposition about magic, but I do admire Charles' panache. the book opens on a rather gruesome scene of our protagonist, Lord Crane, attempting to slit his own wrist; it quickly becomes clear that this isn't because he's genuinely suicidal, but because he's been cursed by persons unknown in an attempt to drive him to ruin. enter Stephen Day, a magic practitioner who hated Crane's deceased father and brother but is determined to help him all the same. some plot happens, but also a lot of flirting and (spoilers) sex that comes with an actual power-up for Stephen due to the wonders of blood magic. a pulpy good-time all around, and short enough that it doesn't overstay its welcome.

The Fervor (Alma Katsu, 2022) - The Fervor is a historical horror with a tantalizing premise: in the 1940s, Japanese demons begin to manifest inside of an Idaho internment camp for Japanese-Americans, adding a swirl of the supernatural to a situation that's already rife with mundane horrors. the actual execution is... lacking. Katsu's prose is blunt at best; when I call it "unsubtle" I don't mean the way some racist might mean when they inevitably go on a ramble about how Katsu beats her readers over the head with how racism is bad. racism is bad, duh, and it's hardly unrealistic to emphasize the fear and hatred that dogged the lives of Japanese-Americans during WW2. when I say this book is unsubtle I mean Katsu approaches each chapter like her readers have maybe forgotten everything they read leading up to that moment; you will be reminded frequently of characters' names, relationships, and straightforward motivations. and yet, somehow, the actual plot is still pretty murky. much is hinted at in the protagonist's past in Japan, then never actually elucidated, a main POV character falls clean out of the plot without resolution just before the climax, I still don't know what was up with those goddamn demon spiders. disappointing!

there was also one very specific, GLARING thing in the ending of The Fervor that I did not care for in the slightest, but that's tucked away on my Patreon in the monthly hater post. pay me if you want to hear about some CRAZY copaganda!

[simmerdowndee]

windenburg years special: forever

Greetings from Windenburg! Theo and I have officially been here for three months. So far, I’m adjusting very well. I haven’t wanted to run back home yet, so that’s good. Theo has been doing a really good job at checking in with me and making sure I am okay.

WE BOUGHT OUR FIRST HOME! I’m so proud of Theo and I because we saved every dime, we had for the first two months we were here to be able to do this. Staying at grahams guest house was a great idea because we didn’t immediately have to pay many bills. I’m still in the process of decorating it fully, but it is a 5-bedroom home with a nice backyard/patio. We even used one of the bedrooms as an office for the both of us. Oh, look at that, only enough left to have 3/5 kids he wanted…. Bummer…..

Today, we are both off from work and spending some time at home. Theo planned a movie day and we’ve now reached the part of the day where he wants to watch scary movies. I am not a fan of scary movies and really don’t want to do this but he watched every Tim burton movie I wanted to see today, so it’s only fair.

Dakota: You picked the scariest movies to watch.

Theo: They aren’t that bad babe.

Dakota: To you.

Theo: I’m right here, and its only 6pm. It’s not even dark yet.

Dakota: But it WILL be when we finish the last one, conveniently one that will keep me up at night.

Theo: I got something that will help you sleep tonight.

Oh brother.

Dakota: *rolls eyes*

Dakota: Yeah, whatever.

(He actually isn’t wrong tho)

Anyways….

He always picks gore or demons. Why can’t we just watch slasher films? At least I know I won’t be bothered by them.

Dakota: Oh my god…..

Dakota: Oh my god please…..

*The wind rattles the front door*

Dakota: AHHHHHHHH.

Theo: *Laughs*

Dakota: It’s so funny isn’t it. Am I a joke to you?

Theo: Drama. Queen.

Theo: Here, we’ll switch sides so you aren’t scared of the door.

He’s such as dick.

Dakota: You’re such a dick.

Theo: Awh babe. Here, come closer.

Theo: Better?

Dakota: A little, I guess.

We make it through the first two movies. Apparently, the end of the second one annoyed Theo because he started yelling at the screen as if they can hear him.

Dakota: Let’s take a break before we watch the last one. Jesus.

Theo: That’s fine babe.

Theo: So, our anniversary is coming up.

Dakota: The original one?

Theo: Yes. I was thinking we could have a really nice dinner.

Dakota: That’s fine with me. Where did you wanna go?

Theo: Actually, there’s this restaurant in Selvadorada I wanted to take you to…

Dakota: As in the country………….?

Theo: Yes.

I know we’ve had some beers but he can’t be that drunk…..

Dakota: Uh….

Theo: *Laughs*

Theo: You are so cute when you're confused.

Theo: We’re going to Selvadorada for our anniversary.

NOFUCKINGWAY

Dakota: Theo, are you serious???!

Theo: Yeah, so you better figure out what you want to wear and how many wigs you plan to pack.

Not him calling me out like that.

Dakota: Ahhhh, I’m so excited babe!

Theo: I thought you’d like your gift.

Dakota: I LOVE IT. THANK YOU BABY!

Dakota: I love you.

Theo: I love you too babe.

Now, I really do need to figure out how many wigs I wanna bring…...

*Two weeks later*

Theo and I are headed to Selvadorada! He’s so excited. I don’t know if it’s because it’s the first anniversary we’ve celebrated since we got back together or if he’s just excited to go on vacation. See you when we land in Selvadorada!

[whatiwillsay]

i’ve been a taylor fan since 2013 ish,

i know she’s a grudge holder but if she was willing to make up with kanye for a brief period she’s not gonna be wishing ill upon a 20 year old, or purposely managing her business tactics like having paramore or sabrina open for her.

hayleys been around taylor forever, and sabrina may have about as many followers as liv but sabrina isn’t about to start selling out arenas just yet.

and maybe, she did ask olivia, and she said no. she was clearly working on guts, besides we have no way of knowing. and i feel like taylor the queen of being slut shamed probably resonated with sabrina for that.

it also would be extremely dumb of taylor to have stepped back from attempting to claim the music that she did of olivia’s considering her whole schtick as of recently is artists owning their work. if she didn’t when the comparisons were made it would read as though it’s okay for artists to “steal” (i use that loosely because i think olivia didn’t intentionally steal anything, just sampled without listing that credit) when it’s someone taylor likes.

i just feel like they’re all smaller artists than olivia, even haim. like gracie opened for olivia, olivia didn’t need a taylor boost

dkm, i’m just saying it’s tiring seeing people talk about a 33 year old beefing with a 20 year old.

i’ll eat ass if i’m wrong and she says fuck taylor or something in that article but wholeheartedly think it’s not as deep and people make it out to be.

honey taylor and olivia had a huge private fight and taylor bullied her into giving her writing credits on deja vous and i know for a FACT, that for olivia, it was a huge fucking deal. in photoshoots everyone would be advised- no taylor music on the photoshoot playlist or olivia will have a meltdown. it DEVASTATED her. i've gotten loads of info on this and done all sorts of research into this. now it may not be that deep to taylor anymore, but it was enough for taylor to write a song about how she felt threatened by olivia and yes i do think it's part of why sab got asked to open for eras. taylor absolutely DID NOT ask olivia to open for eras, where are you even getting this?

olivia DID NOT SAMPLE deja vous. she mentioned that the way taylor screamed in the song helped inspire the bridge. it gave taylor a TINY in where she was able to threaten to sue for royalties and olivia's team gave up fast because they didn't want a legal battle with taylor. god i'm sorry but if you're gonna hang around these parts and send in long asks i am gonna need you to get with the evidence-based gossip vibe. you are ill informed on this situation and don't need to be rattling off fanfic about how there is no beef when we all know there is one and i have published all the evidence in succint tiktoks and pod episodes.

[alyjojo]

The Person On Your Mind in January 🏔️ 2024 - Leo

Whole of their energy towards Leo: The Lovers

Feelings: 6 Pentacles

Intentions: 3 Cups

Actions: 6 Wands

This person is in love with you 😍 I’m not sure if this is an ex or if there’s been a separation, I don’t see any arguments, but Judgement clarifying The Lovers indicates wanting a second chance, assuming there was a first chance that didn’t work out. They’re willing to put in the effort and show you they mean it, and by effort I’m seeing like…practical things, gifts, money, fixing your stuff, helping you out with anything you need, you’re showing up as Pentacles here and they seem to speak your language in that way. Acts of service 💯 That could just be them too. They feel you were destined to meet, you could be destined for them, like a gift from the universe. In someone’s case, this could be like a best friend or a parent that’s super supportive of you & your relationship with someone, if you’re in one. If so, they could feel like you & your person were made for each other - The Wheel of Fortune, or maybe they were present in the happenings leading up to your meeting or dating, it all feels like synchronicity. They feel very close to you.

They intend to celebrate! Either a wedding, that’s here for someone, an anniversary, a proposal 😏, any celebration of love. Either they’re telling/showing you this and winning you over again, or telling the world because they want to make it official, or supporting you and coming to your party to celebrate. Maybe throwing you a party. In actions, they will be successful, and helpful, they may try to watch the finances though and make sure things don’t get too crazy. Some will let you know just how much they love you and they’re not letting go. Some may have a grudge against a lover or something, and they’re getting over that for you. Like if you’re okay with xyz, so are they. If there are grudges being held against them, they’re taking accountability and proving it to you, that they’re sorry & they mean it. Love this person’s energy, it’s genuine no matter what 💚

Messages:

Their side:

- Questionable past/morals

- All About YOU 😳

Your side:

- Similar Values

- My money is my LIFE 💰

Possible signs:

Heavy Capricorn, Scorpio, Cancer, earth 🌍 & water 💦

If you’re dealing with:

5 Cups & 4 Cups rev shows you could be missing some of your people, or they miss you. Whether wires have gotten crossed or things have changed, people have grown, something has you in your feelings where others in your life are concerned. You could have regrets or sadness about things you can’t change, opportunities you feel you’ve missed. Or in some cases this can be switched.

Aries - would be with you in a heartbeat if you weren’t already taken, or switch it

Taurus - feels betrayed by you, but they’re handling it & working things out regardless, or switch it, probably no reunion but you’re moving on

Gemini - wants to talk to you, or you do, whatever is discussed or acted on is probably healing & very positive for both of you, could have some deeper feelings hiding underneath intellectual word vomit - look past it

Cancer - nostalgic about a time when they had you and you both had it all - together, could be financial or emotional, there’s a lack, a void 😞

Leo - moving on from the/any drama

Virgo - leaving or already left, this is done

Libra - story 1: mind games, breadcrumbing, giving you enough to keep hanging on, and no more, they’re a waste of your time & emotions 💯 story 2: they’re pissed at you for making them wait forever

Scorpio - very happy & busy with family stuff

Sagittarius - has emotions for you but they’re concerned about how it would work or just work in general is taking priority, it’s stressful

Capricorn - putting more effort into things they’ve let slide or haven’t been working out, being proactive about problems

Aquarius - overcoming a major hurdle, possibly at work or with a business, things are looking up for them in a big way, very successful

Pisces - not speaking to you, they’re healing from whatever has happened between you or just in their world, could just be sick for a bit 😷

[akwardlyuncool]

Class Favorites: Movie Ranking Part 2!

And we're back for part 2 of the 2024 movie ranking. If you haven't seen part 1 and would like to, feel free to go check it out.

Notes:

Some reviews are longer than others, that's okay.

I'm trying something new with the Trigger/Content Warnings. This time I'm just going to mention that there is a warning and if you want to go look into what's up, you can do what's necessary for you. A few exceptions may apply.

_______________________________________________________________

26) I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997) ⭐️⭐️⭐️

4 teens decide they want to "bury" the evidence of the accident they were in, however nothing stays secret forever and someone is gonna make sure these kids never forget.

I am not smart enough for horror movies. I was confused for a ton of the movie and even had to ask my coworkers, the ones who are into horror and slasher films, if I ended the movie knowing the WHO of the whole movie. I struggled less with that during the sequel, so that's the reason I'm giving for ranking that one over this one. Again it's a lot of blood, but if these types of movies are your thing, I don't think you'll mind so much. I Know What You Did Last Summer is a what many would call a must watch in what I call the Pop Horror genre and after having seen it, I believe it works well among it's peers. I've also never met a Freddy Prince Junior that wasn't at least decent.

27) Outside Providence (1999) ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Tim Dunphy is going nowhere fast or that's what his dad believes. After a run in with the law, he's sent off to a Connecticut boarding school for a second chance. That second chance is made all the more sweeter when Tim meets Jane and contemplates a different life. *TW/CW

This is another movie I've watched the trailer for on VHS tapes and decided I needed to see it. When I finally found a copy on tape, the box made it seem like the funniest movie alive. Based on the trailer, I thought it was gonna be a romantic comedy with a fall air around it and some giggles of the cute kind. The reality is that it's a for sure a romance and a little bit on the funny side, but it was not the hilarity piece some claimed it to be. Outside Providence is cute and has a decent rock soundtrack, but it's downside is that it's also riddled with a ton homophobia and ableism. So yes it is cute, there's just some rough spots in it.

28) My Daughter's Disgrace (2016) ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Peyton Harris is a high school senior who thought she was taking private pictures for no one else's eyes but her own. Now those once private pictures have been uploaded to a revenge porn site and shared with just about everyone she knows, and many she doesn't. Upon hearing the news her mother decides it's her personal mission to take down whoever did it. *TW/CW

I feel like the intention was for this movie to lean feminist, but still found itself rather shame-y despite it's efforts. Like yes you can do this private thing as a way to celebrate your body, but it's still your fault if they become public, even by no fault of your own and even if we're gonna fight to figure out what happened. The shame, along with the unrealistic ending made this one rank a bit lower on list, even with all of it's drama and lots of internal conversation. Works in Lifetime land, but could have stuck its landing better.

29) Cheaper By The Dozen (2022) ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Another remake of a popular classic. How two blended families came together to make a total of 12, navigate changes in their lives as their family business grows and they figure out what's important.

It was alright for what it was, however I thought it tried really hard to be progressive. A lot of it just didn't feel as easy or natural as it could of been and I think that's what ultimately hurt it. Some of the commentary and jokes were hella real though. There were a few moments that were geared towards the parent/adult watching, which was funny to me and aided in giving the film that fuller family vibe I didn't hate from older family films. If family movies are your thing and you make ironic woke jokes about yourself, this is your kind of movie night.

30) Valentine's Day (2010) ⭐️⭐️⭐️

3 different couples and many other people in their orbit navigate the world on supposedly the most romantic day of the year.

It's a mega ensemble mash-up romantic comedy, that went on to get an unofficial sequel for New Years Eve in 2011. These types of movies feel cheap and easy lol. I think they're supposed to seem grand and give you feels and make you want to believe in something called love. I don't want to give this movie too much credit, yes it is cute, but I won't put it in my top rom-com list.

31) Prom (2011) ⭐️⭐️⭐️

For high school seniors graduation isn't the big day, it's actually PROM and these students will do what it takes to make the night one to never forget. Add in bad boys that aren't bad and good girls that are constantly told they need to relax and you got yourself a classic.

An almost 2 hour long movie about saving prom, with the most 2010's soundtrack ever, yeah that 3 is way too high.

32) Perfect Addiction (2023) ⭐️⭐️⭐️

When your champion boxer boyfriend decides to cheat on you with your sister, you decide to cheat on him as your trainer and start training with his #1 rival. What could possibly go wrong? Or right depending on how you think about it. *Based On A Book by Claudia Tan.

This one is better than many of it's spicy new adult peers, however it still produced several eye rolls and wishes of things I thought they could of handled better. This story featured quite a bit of talk about dom/sub dynamics, so I also wished that they would of dug deeper into the conversation they have surrounding manipulation, dominance over woman, and how improper kink can play a roll in all of that. (A far too big of a conversation for this particular post, but know I have many thoughts.) This movie could use a ton of work, but because the bar is already so low, it manages to step over it pretty easily compared to others in the genre. You'll love it, if you like these often toxic romance films.

33) Sugarbabies (2015) ⭐️⭐️⭐️

What happens when your new collage roommates convinces you that letting an older man pay for your time is a positive thing, despite your obvious reservations.

Another inflated 3 stars for a Lifetime movie, typical of me. This movie would be in the gutter based on its decision to give redemption arcs to men who CLEARLY don't deserve them, but it did a halfway decent job in others areas that some of the lower made-for-tv movies fail at, so there's your ranking answer.

34) Stolen Baby: The Murder of Hedi Broussard (2023) ⭐️⭐️ 1/2

Two best friends with one pretending to be pregnant at the same time as the other, wind up down a scary path of secrets and murder, to uphold the lie. *Based On True Events. *TW/CW

My biggest gripe was that they did the ending so dirty with this movie. Now I don't know the real story and don't plan to look it up, but in Lifetime land, I needed way more drama and that's pretty weird for me. I wanted them to fight a little more and for the story to just be filled out more than it was. Essentially drive the point home! If you hate when they fumble the ending, then this wouldn't be a top one for you either. There is a lot happening here though, so you might still get some entertainment out of it.

35) Amish Stud: The Eli Weaver Story (2024) ⭐️⭐️ 1/2

An Amish husband is tempted far too much by English women and modern technology, so much so that he may or may not have conspired with his "friends" to let go of his Amish wife, who just doesn't do it for him anymore.

Among other probably gross handlings of real people's lives, I'm not sure I want many more of these films based on actual crimes. I've said many times that I'm not a true crime girly and this movie is proof as to why. Just overall felt in poor taste.

36) Before I Fall (2017) ⭐️⭐️ 1/2

Life seems to be great and going rather well. You're popular and going to all the hot parties and then one day it decides to stop and repeat itself. Over and over again You now have to repeat the same day for the rest of your life, but why not try and figure out why, along the way. *Based on a book by Lauren Oliver. *TW/CW

I own this book and never wound up reading it but after deciding to skip to the movie my overall thought is that, it irritated me so much. It's essentially about giving one person Déjà vu, so you can then turn around and give the mean kids redemption arcs in the process. Here's to thinking it was going to be far more nuanced than that. Don't know if it does justice to the book or not, but if you like YA book adaptations as a form of entertainment, I think you'd find something here, just not my top pick.

37) Missing At 17 (2013) ⭐️⭐️ 1/2

When Candace finds out she's adopted from someone other than her parents, she runs away and gets involved with an older man who aids in her finding her birth mother.

Tell your kids that they're adopted please and thank you. It will save your family a lot of stress and trips to the police station. This is the part of the ranking where we get into the territory of "its low because I don't remember it or it's low because it was bad," this is both.

38) Pregnant At 17 (2016) ⭐️⭐️ 1/2

Chelsea just wants her life back after she witnessed a violent crime. Although she dropped out of school, she is seeing a distinguished older man named Jeff who says all the right things, including that he will leave his wife when the time is right. That all changes when Chelsea finds out she's pregnant and Jeff acknowledges how illegal all of this "fun" really is. *TW/CW

The "At 17" series always ranks fairly low for me. I just have a hard time because they seem to want to play the game of legal vs inappropriate. If they make it illegal it adds to the drama and creep factor, if they make it legal but weird, to them it might not have the same bite. I don't know, I'm not here to justify the trash, I'm just here to consume and tell you how bad it is afterwards.

39) Murdered At 17 (2018) ⭐️⭐️ 1/2

Brooke suffered a severe head injury during cheerleading a year ago and she's still trying to find a sense of normalcy. Things are fine, but due to the injury, she suffers from fits of rage where she may also blackout. It's hard to find people who can relate to her, but her friends are solid and she's on medication. While out one night she meets a wealthy "18" year old who seems like a win, until he gets a little too attached and untangling that one poses some difficulties.

I'm not going to change my ranking here, but it seems like past me ranked it higher than several other Lifetime movies on my big Made-For-TV ranking list, so I'll just go with the idea that this one is probably better than I am remembering it, in relation to the others that proceeded it on this years ACF. Still 2 and a half stars though, that hasn't changed. Oh the things I will consume for my love of this mess and anything featuring a former Degrassi cast member.

40) The Boy She Met Online (2010) ⭐️⭐️ 1/2

Cami like many other teenage girls wants to find love, however the boys in her class aren't exactly it so she goes online to find that special someone. That's where she meets Jake the 23 year old college student, who's super cool and mature. Things start to go south we it's revealed that instead of being in college Jake has been serving time elsewhere and that's not his only lie.

This is where I started to dip my toes in the "met online" series of Lifetime-esk movies. These function similarly to the "At 17" series, where you take someone 17 or younger and put them in dangerous situations for entertainment. I believe this movie and it's peers try to be warning labels about the internet and to their credit will give folks anxiety (or I'm just a ridiculously anxious person) but if you already don't take them seriously, I think you'll laugh more at the message than you would actually take it to heart. PS: Teens and online dating do not mix.

41) Pretty Little Addict (2016) ⭐️⭐️ 1/2

Dealing with the loss of her father to cancer, Jennifer decides to drink at a party. Instead of being responsible and letting her friend drive home, she gets behind the wheel and crashes into another kid at the party. The problem is, this particular kid had dreams and a brother who wanted to see those dreams come true. Now she's in rehab trying to better herself, and that same brother kinda just wants revenge cause the justice system isn't doing good enough. *TW/CW

Not gonna lie, I don't think you actually want to watch a movie where the pretty, young, white girl drinks and drives, almost murders a person and gets what many would consider a slap on the wrist. It's not a good plot to begin with, but knowing all of that just makes it more irritating. I watch all of this stuff, but I don't think it's good.

PS: This and a movie a few ticks down are more features where the ACF ranking fluctuates from what I said in my Made-For-Tv, Lifetime List ranking. I still trust this list, but I do trust that one a little more, cause that gets updated right after I watch the film. Also if you want to see that list, DM message me and I'll send it to you.

42) Time Is Up (2021) ⭐️⭐️ 1/2

After an accident that causes Vivien to loose the memory of what happened to her, she must 1) decide which boy is telling the truth and 2) who does she love?

Again it is better than it's peers, but it is still very much a WattPad story if you've ever seen or read one. Bars are set really low here and although it cleared it, it just hit too many of the cliché tropes for me to let it pass more than barely. I enjoy a good memory loss story, I'm just tired of fake bad boys and "lost potential." It might be your thing though, who knows.

43) Three To Tango (1999) ⭐️⭐️ 1/2

When they guy that is considering you and your business partner for a big design project, gets the impression that you're gay, unbeknownst to you, asks you on the side to spy on his mistress, I mean girlfriend...he has a wife.... Essentially somehow you agree and get wrapped up in mess and we're supposed to believe it was an accident.

I believed there was spark in this one, for the most part. That being said there were parts of this movie that weren't great and although my brain can't remember all the details, I feel like they were probably inappropriate and just didn't age well. My notes do say that it wasn't that bad though, so maybe the "good" just didn't do the bad any favors here. Although it may rank low, trust that this would be an easier watch/sell, than some of the other films that surrounded it in this ranking.

44) Sex Tape (2014) ⭐️⭐️ 1/2

To spice up their relationship one married couple decides to make a ridiculously long private adult film. At the end of it all, she tells him to delete it. He obviously says okay and to no surprise to anyone, doesn't. Eventually The Cloud gets involved and now the video is out there for all their friends, family and coworkers to see. To get back the video, they must exhaust the night and she must try not to cause bodily harm to him.

It was bad. That's the review. Sometimes the former cast of Freaks & Geeks can make a raunchy movie and you're into it and then sometimes they end up being very much trash with maybe 1 or 2 cute scenes involved. Yes, this movie does go in the pile with Zach and Miri Make a Porno and that's because they're terrible with A cute scene. Obviously there are worse movies in this list, but that doesn't make this one better.

45) Honey 2 (2011) ⭐️⭐️ 1/2

To prove that she can change and do something with her life and well get back at an ex in the process, Maria joins a new dance crew and hopes to win big.

This movie gave NOTHING. I don't like to use the word boring lightly, but I was not feeling it. It's definitely getting lumped into the sequels we ignore category. Not memorable and very little spark. Not worth it, however now that I've seen number 2, I'm more willing to complete the trilogy and check out number 3... eventually.

46) A Teacher's Obsession (2015) ⭐️⭐️

A star athlete just needs a little help in class, but the teacher who ends up helping her out, decides to go the extra mile. *TW/CW

This movie was just gross and wildly inappropriate. It's hard for me to recommend something that gave me the ick the whole time. There are better bad movie night films, skip this one.

47) The Bride He Met Online (2015) ⭐️⭐️

3 teenage girls prank some guy they met online by convincing him that he's met his dream girl from another country. The girls post the heartbreak to the internet and when the guy finds out, he decides to seek revenge. *TW/CW

I think it is really cruel to prank and bully people in this way, full stop, however this was an incel movie if I've ever seen one. It goes from one extreme to another and the moral is quickly lost when you see how the end is unfolding. Not good, actually terrible. Your movie is not less incel simply because you're a woman and allowed girls to be depicted doing wrong things.

48) Beautiful Wedding (2024) ⭐️ 1/2

Travis and Abby after getting drunk married in Vegas, take Abby’s best friend and Travis’s cousin to Mexico to celebrate the newlyweds honeymoon. On said honeymoon they’ll decide whether to stay married or call it quits before the vacation has even really began. (The sequel to Beautiful Disaster.) *Based On A Book by Jamie McGuire.

This was the only movie that got a full blog review in 2024. Essentially it's easy to talk when the material is such trash. Go check out that post if you want the long version, but the condensed version is that the whole movie felt like a parody of itself and is essentially only good for bad movie nights and people who are unironically into New-Adult films, but I wouldn't even recommend it to them, because it's that bad.

49) To Save A Life (2009) ⭐️⭐️ 1/2

Jake is the big man on campus, but when his former best friend takes his life, Jake now spends his days trying to answer the looming question of "could he have saved him?" This leads him down the path of more spiritual answers. *TW/CW

I had been telling myself to watch this movie for months and after several library checkouts and returns, I finally put it on. This movie was ridiculously heavy handed. It hit all of the classic tropes including such winners as "be nice so folks don't harm themselves or others," "shame as an encouragement tactic" and we can't leave out all of the not so great "not-so pro life-pro-life" stuff either. I knew it was gonna be a little something, something, but this was far too much. The best part of the whole movie was when they played Dare You To Move by Switch Foot. It's no surprise, I like my Christian pop punk.

Side Comment: It features a Steven Crowder jump scare, which was rather funny to me. He essentially plays the younger douche bag version of himself, without his character needing to be religious. Whatever you believe about all that information, I can guarantee that you're right.

50) 0 (2001) ⭐️⭐️

The friend who can't seem to let you win, does what he can to make sure in every way possible, that you don't. *Based On The Play Othello by William Shakespeare. *TW/CW

I believe that I was recommended this movie by a coworker, but after having seen it and then questioning them about it, I may have only thought they were recommending it to me. (It probably came up in a conversation about how much I enjoy a teen sports movie.)

In 2024 we start and end things with a youth sports movie. I love Julia Stiles and will give anything of hers a shot, but this was the first one I've seen, that I can say that I've actually hated. I can't with all the race-play jokes, among other egregious things directed toward black men. I've never read Othello, which could have helped me out here, but honestly after watching this adaptation I have no desire to see what the source material has to offer. Gross, ick, insensitive, all the things that could be wrong are wrong with this film. The only redeeming factor is the cast and not even they could save it.

________________________________________________________________

That was a steep one, glad you made it to the end. Stay tuned for more ACF 2024!

[veganhamsalad]

its friday im gonna gab abt my sims here lol this will be a rlly long post i love blabbing but aarons on that damn moba

okay first off. bob and eliza seem to be doing well, im glad their relationship is healing. i personally like hc that eliza is a lesbian who wants to leave bob but love is love. i also love bobs nose rings??? i love u clothing randomization

singing in the bar. super preggo. sent them on a vacation to celebrate getting their drama degree. I wanted to have them switch to acting once at the top of the comedy career. they got a raise though so idk....

all of their children. they got pregnant again on the vacation. they have 16 kids. 14 of them with joaquin. im doing my own version of 100 baby. the goal is to have as many kids as possible with the same dude until he dies. joaquin is only into the normal adult stage so far tho. however. this baby is not his. they also had an affair to celebrate. (sorry im p sure the audio is ai but alas. i am easy to please)

regan is meant to be immortalish. Im having them live a super fufilling life so they get to drink the age down potion forever bc i get super attatched to my g1 starting sims.

i will then send the children to live in another household. I used to make grandmas to have them live with but due to this method ive had to go and find where they end up once they die. once the first born was old enough to run a household thats were they started going.

i just rearranged how the childrens living arrangements were so i forced the boys to move out of each others houses and take a child and toddler with them each. Poor vivien had like. 3 more in the house.

found this diva doing a townie cull.

Im a little bit worried about whats gonna happen come gen 2, as while they arent having kids with everyone, i do worry their offspring will out compete other sims for resources. and im having to delete a few sims in the townie pool as theyre competing with my sims for real estate

Caleb is gonna be the end game for regan. after baby 100 is born thatll be their final partner and i'll have him vampire them. also??? weird white dog obsession going on at their house

okay. done 4 now. they had that 17th kid while i was doing stuff.

baby 18 otw

[queenharumiura]

🎂 + what are some aspects of her personality she struggles with?

Today is the day I celebrate Haru because of her shorthand (86) and I'll answer any questions. [x] ||Accepting|| @parallelroutes

I wouldn’t call it perfectionism per say, but she definitely holds herself to a high standard, and if she doesn’t reach a standard that she placed upon herself (usually estimated based off what she knows of her skillset), she’ll be pretty upset with herself. A lot of it stems from her being an only child and wanting to live up to the expectations she thinks that her parents have of her.

Education is something that means a lot in the Miura household and the notion of hardwork isn’t foreign to them, so Haru has always had the mindset of always working hard towards a goal and not giving up without a solid attempt at it. It’s a great mindset to have for an educational standpoint, that she won’t give up upon the first roadblock that she comes across.

This is a starting point for her stubbornness, where she doesn’t give up easily. Her personality is also a big contributor to that, but she has been taught from a young age to keep trying until you’ve exhausted all options. All this together means that she puts a lot of pressure on herself from herself because she wants to expect a lot from herself, and this inadvertently sometimes makes it so that she’s doing so much that she’ll tire out by the end of the day—which to her point, it makes her feel like she’s been productive. She likes the feeling, but from the standpoint from those who look on from the outside, she is doing a lot.

Like canonically, she goes to school, sometimes has gymnastics club activities, she’s often doing something for the drama club (helping them make costumes), some days she goes to after school tutoring, she usually had the time to make a bento by waking up extra early in the morning, she was asked by Nana-san to occasionally stop by the house to ensure that the boys are doing okay when she’s out and about running errands, and it’s implied that she does like to take some time to make her own costumes when she can. Then she’s always studying and the like at night? Girl, please chill. Just a bit.

The hardworking aspect where she doesn’t give up until she’s exhausted options is one reason she seemingly is into all sorts of subjects, because she gives anything a solid chance before she officially says she doesn’t like it. It’s also the reason why if she likes someone she really is so gungho about it and it may take FOREVER before she moves on and it KILLS ME—and therefore I timeskip so I don’t really have to deal with all that—I will die.

So, to that point, she does have the tendency to place blame on herself before she’s willing to say/think anything ill of other people. Kyoko is a great girl and a great friend. It would be wild for someone to not like her, so she understands why Tsuna likes her so much. She can’t blame him for that. Haru just thinks that she’s just not enough to actually be worth being paid attention to- and it hurts. I’ll never get over the fact in her character song about him she be like I’m okay with being a shadow woman just look at mleklhfefdlkajfsldkjfalksjflsk WHOEVER MADE UP THOSE LYRICS ROYALLY AND RESPECTFULLY FUCK OFF I CRIED WHEN I FINALLY LOOKED UP THE LYRICS!!!!

MY GIRL DESERVES BETTER!?!!?!?! So, anyways, yeah.

I do like to also think that both of her parents work and that may be a reason why she has a more self-sufficient kind of personality. She had to mature pretty early for her age, so she’s more used to being left on her own, and being expected to ensure that she completes everything that needs to be done so her parents can focus on things like taking care of the household and making money for the family. So, she’s mostly left alone to make sure she’s on top of her activities and her studies. She’s doing well so they trust her, and that is what puts pressure on her to not break the mold. This is what makes it so that Haru doesn’t want to be a bother and not be that honest when she’s hurting, since she doesn’t want to bother with her busy parents who are tired.

It’s fine, she’s a big girl. She can deal with things on her own. She doesn’t want to worry them or be a reason to make them feel even more tired, so she just—suffers in silence a lot. I like to think this is a reason why Haru has a higher tendency to run off and sulk on her own than to cry in front of others- especially the one who made her cry. She doesn’t like the guilt associated with it.

For someone who is an open book, she doesn’t like to be honest about the more negative things. People should only see the positive sides of her. They wouldn’t want to see the negative, so she just bundles it up inside.

Hello, my name is Neo and I’m an emotional wreck right now.

[knuckle]

Last thing I will say about John Mulaney Drama because I never thought people would be so heartless and obsessed I'd have to comment on someone whose humor I don't even like: talking about how messed up the unborn kid is going to be or how relapse is imminent is cruel for a number of reasons but they main things bothering me are people who are saying this because they believe:

1. An addict who didn't wait the perfect number of recommended days before a new relationship can't be a good father. An addict who didn't wait the perfect amount of time for love is doomed to relapse. How do you people view addicts who aren't rich, famous, and white? Do you believe that only sober people deserve families and love? Most people can't afford fancy rehab centers like Mulaney. Many people, especially poor people, have kids while addicted to something. They still deserve a chance to get better and be parents.

2. An addict who misspeaks at all during an interview and says his partner or kid are helping or "saving" him is definitely abusively pressuring both of them and will task them with the responsibility of his sobriety. It's not at all possible he's just excited about having a new partner and baby coming and feels like his life his different now.

3. Olivia Munn is not a real flawed woman who's entitled to raise her child without preemptive suspicion of child abuse. Because she picked the wrong man or something? This one is baffling and gross to me. You don't have to think she's a good person not to subject someone to this amount of scrutiny for daring to get pregnant. I've never seen this level of concern over other problematic celebs like Scarlet Johansson's pregnancy

4. Completely unfounded cheating accusations. Anna Marie Tendler and John Mulaney legally separated a year ago and had broken up before even that. I suspect some of you have never lived through a divorce (being old enough to understand your parents'), but legal separation is the same basic thing as far as your romantic life goes. I'm not saying he didn't cheat - he's a millionaire white man celebrity. But calling him a cheater based on nothing but your hurt feelings over when he fell in love again is really evil. And a lot of this is wrapped up in people implying he must have cheated because he's an impulsive addict who just can't control himself around seductive witch Olivia's hot body or something

5. That this "criticism" is helpful to the man or his new family. People in dire situations like addiction don't learn from negative reinforcement from strangers on the internet. They get traumatized. If you all are so worried about John Mulaney's sobriety, or his future child's wellbeing, you wouldn't bring decade old receipts up to show how Olivia Munn's a way worse person than Anna Marie Tendler, or talk about how this kid is doomed to suffer because he's not doing recovery the perfect way you think he should.

You're not helping by adding to a snowball of public criticism for the crime of moving on to a new relationship and family. If you have concerns, you have to know you can't figure them out for him. He's an adult celebrity, not someone you can actually advise or influence in a positive way. It's only going to come off as a stressful hate mob, and I can't believe "concerned" people don't see that.

[unexpected-character]

Sisters and Surprises

(gif not mine) I’m obsessed. My wifeeeys🥺💗

In celebration of my two wives' birthdays, Kate Walsh (October 13) and Caterina Scorsone (October 16), here's a drabble.

Amelia Shepherd x Reader

------------------------------------------------------------

You and Amelia started dating a few weeks after you arrived in Grey Sloan looking for a fresh start and a job as a Cardiothoracic Surgeon. That was about 6 months ago and even until now you were both happy and contented with what you both have. Sure you knew about how complicated her recent drama that had happened before you arrived which is her having a kid and an ex that asked her to marry him however she declined and hell broke lose. So things were a bit awkward but you didn't wanna get into it because you really really like Amelia and you're not going to judge her for what happened in the past and whatever reason. You'd rather support her and be there for her instead. You both chose each other, that for the both of you is enough.

You knew the basic things about her, like her being an ex-addict and her brain tumour and the likes. She also told you briefly of her sisters and said how they all don't see eye to eye. You were both still getting to know each other and you are okay and looking forward to all the discovery. You both started to know the little things first then gradually the big ones and the ones you both like to do. For example, what both of you want to eat early in the morning or even the way you both would like to cuddle 5 minutes more after the alarm rang so you both put it 5 minutes earlier so you guys try to not be late for your shifts, keyword try.

So when she paged you, as she was looking for you. You paged her back to the OR because her page said 911 however you were still finishing up your surgery so you can't just runout there for her. You were almost done anyway just a little bit of stitch and you let the resident to close up. So when you just unscrub out of a double bypass surgery when you notice Amelia doing a beeline towards you. She said she wanted you to meet someone she really cares about. She wanted you to meet her chosen sister, with that in mind you asked if you can prepare yourself first to look more well put. You want to be presentable to someone she consider as a sister knowing that she didn't have good biological ones. You were tired and a bit thirsty too due to having back to back surgeries since early this morning so you asked her if you both can go to the attendings' lounge first. She agreed but told you to hurry up because she really is excited for it. So you entered the lounge first while Amelia is following you close.

As you both enter, your eyes locked towards the water dispenser while Amelia saw the person she wanted you to meet. Amelia being too excited she wasn't able to control her tone and said, "Y/n, I want you to —" you raised your head up due to her loudness and thats when you notice the other person inside the lounge, "Woah! If it isn't the infamous Forbes." You teasingly told the older woman. Addison seeing you simply smirked and approached you. She launch herself to you for a full body embrace. She seems so relax with you. "How are you here? It's been years, Y/n/n." She said while she buries her head on the crook of your neck. You hugged her tightly. You never thought that you'll be seeing her since forever. She was on her 1st year as an attending and you were on your 4th year of residency when you were given an offer you can't refuse to another country to study your chosen specialty as it was going to make or break your career, so you left. It was emotional but both of you agreed it was for the best. You had few good years and for you guys it was enough. Your friends to lovers to friends again was good 'til you both were busy with your careers, communications were cut. You haven't forgotten her though, both of you didn't. "Almost 22 years to be exact, Forbes. I haven't heard from you a few months after I left for Zurich." "Yeah. We were both so busy, weren't we?" She looked at you fondly. The relationship didn't work out but you both hold each other dearly in each other's heart.

"Uhmm okay. This is weird. How do you both know each other?" For a minute you both forgot that there was someone in the room with you. Most especially your girlfriend. So when her initial surprise of her lover and sister knowing each other she spoke. You and Addison, both detangled yourselves from each other. You smiled at your girlfriend and approach her, taking her hand with your own. "Amelia, Addie and I were really close back when we were both residents. She's a really good friend however due to both our success in our own fields we weren't able to catch up until now." You looked at your girlfriend lovingly, happy that you have your friend back again after so much time has passed.

"Oh, okay. I feel like there's a lot of history there but it's good both of you are now in each others life, I guess." she replied, and you looked at her and can feel her jealousy about what had happened a while ago. You wanna smirk and teased her but you'd rather not because she was right that there is history but you know that whatever you and Addie had back then can't compare to what you have with Amelia now. You really hope she knows that though.

"Yes, Amy but we're good. I'm just happy that I have my friend back in my life after so many years. I didn't even know I'd see her again because last time I heard she was a hotshot bachelorette taking Europe by storm after her miracles in Zurich." Addie trying to lighten the mood and tension that you three feel inside the room. "Yeah, I did but then I thought why not visit the states and start a storm here too. However, I'm not the hotshot bachelorette though. I mean still hot, but not a bachelorette. Very much taken by this wonderful human being, a world-class neurosurgeon at that." You said and kissed Amelia's cheek. She tried really hard but she can't help the blush creeping up. You wrapped your arms around her waist and she leaned on you.

"You guys look so cute together. I am so happy that you both finally found someone that will always be there for each other. You guys are perfect." She gushed and genuinely happy at both her friend. One a little sister, and one that she can actually even admit to be her person back then maybe still is. You smiled at your friend. Happy about everything. "Okay. Let's go to the serious part now." She said and it made you a bit confused but still listened to what she'll have to say. "Y/n, you better take good care of my sister. I will kick your ass and destroy you if you ever break her heart. Amy, I love you, you know that but Y/n here was once my person back when I was just starting my career so take good care of her too. Just take care of each other or you both will feel the wrath of Satan." She said jokingly but the sincerity and truth shine through on what she said to you both. "Addie... don't worry, I really like her. I'm madly in love with her, very much so. I promise I won't intentionally hurt her. If I do, I'm gonna give myself the boot so I really understand. I will take good care of her and her heart too." You look down at Amelia. Conveying everything in your eyes that you really mean it.

"You love me?" Amelia asked. You both haven't said it yet even if you both know how you both love each other, shown through actions and care but you admitting it openly not just to her but to her sister too, it brought tears to her eyes. "I do, Amy. I really love you." You replied. Amelia can't help herself and kissed you with everything in her. She adores you so much. You can feel it through the kiss. "I love you too, Y/n. So much." She gave you another peck. "Okay. You, guys. I'm still here. Please don't fuck in front of me go to an on-call room or something." "Oh shut up, Forbes. I hope you get stalked by a lot of pregnant mothers." She gave you a strong punch and left you both for privacy. You just laugh it off. Nothing can beat how happy and in love you feel right now.

"So... Amy, baby. Don't get jealous, okay? I only love you." You said smirking and teasing her of her behaviour a while ago. You can't help but laugh your ass off because of it. "Oh shut up! I take it back, you're just annoying." She replied back. You can't help yourself and gave her a grin she knows so well. She knows that look and before she can get away, you carried her in a fireman's carry, her on your shoulder and run towards the nearest on-call room.

You both passed by Webber, him with a look of surprise and confusion but he learned to never question anything he sees with his doctors. He already got himself too much information and scarred in all the years he have been in this hospital.

[taestefully-in-luv]

The Island | KTH (Fourteen)

Summary: You’re just two strangers waking up in a room on a lonely island where a company in the business of love has placed you. They believe that thanks to their in depth research you two are destined soulmates. What happens when your ‘soulmate’ and you want nothing to do with each other but falling in love is the only way to leave?

Pairing: Taehyung x Female reader

Genre: strangers to lovers, very slight enemies to lovers, soulmates au, roommate au, slow burn, fluff, smut, angst, slight crack, and drama.

Word Count: 11.2k

Warnings: swearing, alcohol consumption.

Notes: This chapter took forever for me to write but then suddenly I wrote it very quickly hahaha. Please look forward to the last arc of the story. Enjoy the chapter:) Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist, or send an ask if just want to chat about the stories!:)

Taglist: @ggukkieland @707sblog @peacedreamer14 @dopedreamfireparty @taebae19 @typicalgenzworld @mooniyooni @helenazbmrskai @justinetingball @jpeachytaev @marplest @calling-dips-on-j-hope @lecavivien @fancycollectormoon @mawwnsterr @siredsong @happyhrsme @storms-and-stars-blog @mingi-banana @soeur-de-ame

© taestefully-in-luv

Previous---Next

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“A long, sweet night.”

“A long, sweet night.”

“A long, sweet night.” You decide to repeat out loud. “What the fuck does that mean?”

Well, you know what it could mean. But there’s no way, right? You hold your phone close to your face, your features lit up with the dim blue light. Your eyes squint as you read over his text again and again.

You start to feel the crushing weight of his text, his words causing an undeniable pain in your chest. Your heart beginning to become chipped away piece by piece, each letter of his words cutting at it.

“Now you fight.”

Your mother’s words echo in your mind, her words making you grip your phone tightly in your hand. She’s right. If you don’t fight then you’re running away aren’t you? This is the point. This is the point she is talking about, this is the point where if you do nothing you are now a coward.

“You did the work honey.”

Yes, you did. Growth is forever but you’ve come a long way. You think you have done enough. You are enough. You have done so much and you deserve this, you deserve a happy ending. An ending you have worked for.

You sit at your dining room table, your phone in hand still. You finally click it off and set it down onto the wooden table, it lands with a thump but you don’t even flinch. There isn’t currently anything you can say to him. You have no response. You know that was the end of the conversation. But you know this isn’t the end. It can’t be. It won’t be.

You stand from the table and drag your feet towards the living room and head towards the couch. It’s cold when you plop down onto it, the cushion doing nothing to make you feel comforted. A long, sweet night, huh? Well, you don’t want this sweet night to end.

~~~~~~

“y/n you’ve apologized like 8 times already,” Marcus chuckles, “You don’t have to say sorry anymore.”

“I know, I know.” You bring the croissant to your mouth and take a generous bite. “I really didn’t mean to run out on you though.”

It’s early the next morning, you are treating Marcus to breakfast as a way to apologize for running out on him the night before. He’s kind and understanding as usual.

“So you ever really going to explain?” Marcus murmurs as he takes a sip of his coffee.

“Explain?” You peak over the croissant, your eyes finding his. “Explain what?”

“Come on.” He sets the coffee mug down, “Him. Tell me about the guy who…you know, has your heart or whatever.” Marcus looks down at his hands that are firmly gripping the mug, his cheeks turning a nice, soft pink.

“Oh.” You say, “That.”

Your eyes lower until they are set on the floor, you notice little things like the cracks in the tile. You finally bring the croissant back to the plate on the table, it’s half eaten state taunting you.

“Well,” your eyes find Marcus, “That’s a long story.” You admit softly.

“You gave me a very brief explanation the night I asked you out,” Marcus blinks at you, “But I don’t really understand the…depth…I guess you could say.”

“I kind of told you about the island…” That’s where you decide to start, “But I barely got into my trip to Korea.”

“Right.”

“Well, things didn’t go as smoothly as I had wanted.”

“Are you in love y/n?” Marcus turns redder than a ripe tomato. “You don’t have to an—”

“Yes.” You tell him bluntly. “I am.”

Marcus looks taken aback for a moment, his expression slightly surprised until it’s softening.

“I see. Well, it’s not like I didn’t know. But you two aren’t even talking right?”

“Right.” You admit, your breathing picking up just the slightest. “Barely, anyway.”

“He’s an idiot.” Marcus lets the words spill out between his lips.

“Why is that?”

“I just…I wouldn’t ever let…I would never let you go.” Marcus’s blush deepens as he avoids your eyes now. You can’t help but let a small somewhat pitiful smile paint itself on your lips.

“Well…” you bite down on your bottom lip, “It isn’t that easy.”

“Why not?” Marcus shakes his head. “If he really loved you—”

“Sorry Marcus.” You cut in. “But I think you are overstepping a little bit…”

Marcus scrunches his brows together.

“How so?”

“You don’t know the full story or his perspective.” You tell him, your eyes going back to the floor. “I’m not perfect in this.”

“You are perf—”

“No.” you say sternly, your hard eyes going back to his. “I’m not.”

You push the plate forward on the table, the sound of it gliding against the wood making you shiver.

“You just don’t…you don’t know what I put him through…” you say bitterly, “It wasn’t kind of me, I wasn’t perfect, I wasn’t the best, I wasn’t a lot of things. But I have accepted that and moved forward with that.” You tell him honestly.

“Shouldn’t he try harder…if he loves you?” Marcus raises his voice just the slightest, “If.”

“I don’t know how he feels anymore.” You feel yourself grow tired from this conversation, “But it doesn’t change things.”

“Sorry y/n.” Marcus looks down at his hands again. “I shouldn’t…I shouldn’t have brought this up—”

“I talked to him last night.” You blurt out. “I want to see him. I want to try.”

“But why?” Marcus is growing tired as well. It’s clear he isn’t seeing things the way you do.

“Because he’s my soulmate.”

~~~~~~~

You lay on your stomach, the soft feeling of your bed making you feel so warm. Your phone is in your hands as you struggle to press the ‘call’ button. It shouldn’t be such a big deal, it’s just Yuna yet you are having a hard time.

“Come on y/n.” you whisper to yourself. “Come on.”

You nibble on your lips, waiting for your fingers to find the courage to press the god damn button. It shouldn’t be this hard, no. If it’s meant to be it should be easy.

You press the ‘call’ button and wait not so patiently as it rings and rings on speaker. She’s taking too long, you think. Then finally—

“y/n!!!” Yuna exclaims loudly, her voice booming throughout your small room. “What’s up girl!”

“Yuna…” you hesitate to say her name, “Your birthday…two weeks…”

“Yes?” She tilts her head to the side through the camera. “It is?”

“Is that offer still on the table?” you gulp. “For my flight.”

“Huh? You mean to fly you out here for my b-day?”

“Yeah…” You gulp again, “If it’s okay—”

“Wait!” Yuna yells out with an excited smile, “Jiwoo, get over here!!!!”

“Jiwoo is with you too?” You can’t help the small smile. “You should have said something.”

“Jiwoo! y/n wants to come for my birthday!”

“What???” Jiwoo’s voice is heard, “Eh?”

“y/n..” Yuna points the camera at her mouth, her lips curving into a wide smile. “You really want to come here?”

You nod your head eagerly, a timid expression on your face.

“I do. I want to see you and celebrate you, of course…but I also…” your words get quieter and quieter as you speak.

“You want to see him, don’t you?” Yuna asks softly, “I’m rooting for you.”

“Me too!” Jiwoo says with her fist in the air, “You got this!”

“Guys.” You whine cutely, “Thanks.”

You chat with your friends for a little while longer, you tell them all about Taehyung’s song and his words to you through text.

“It’s definitely not the end girl.” Yuna pouts, “You guys still have so much more to give…”

“It sounds like your mom really came through too…” Jiwoo points out, “She makes a good point.”

“Yeah,” you agree easily, “I just have to figure out where Taehyung stands in all of this.” You look down at the duvet that covers your bed. “I’m going to really put myself out there but there is a chance I will be rejected.” You tell them with a softness in your voice. “He is moving forward and that could really mean without me.”

“I hate to admit it but I think you are right.” Jiwoo murmurs, “He’s really put a lot of effort to move past everything.”

“I know.” You bite down on your lip, just hard enough that you feel something. “I know.”

“But don’t lose you momentum girl!” Yuna cheers you on, “He’s going to lose his mind when he sees you.”

“You think so?” You laugh lightly. “I think I might be the one who loses my mind.”

You swing your legs in the air back and forth until you lay them down on your bed. You nibble on your lips again as you think about it, seeing him. “Yeah. I’m going to lose it.” You laugh again.

“He hasn’t RSVP’d to my party yet…I’ll ask him about it this week when we all go out.” Yuna tells you with a tiny smile on her lips. “I won’t say anything about you coming.”

“Thanks…I’ll tell him myself.”

You finally bid farewell to your friends, clicking the end button on your screen and setting your phone down on your cozy bed. You’re really doing this. This is really happening. Does he really believe you two were just ships in the night? Was your time together really just the equivalent of a long, sweet night?

You roll off your bed and head towards your desk, you pull out your rolling chair and take a seat. Your desk is covered in papers from work, your journal, small decorations, a pile of glittery gel pens and a half drank Starbucks drink. It’s kind of a mess. You decide to clean up a bit and then take your journal and a purple glitter pen and start writing.

“Time and timing is everything in this universe. Everything pans out the way it’s meant to…I do believe that. I have to believe that. I have to have that kind of faith. But I can’t just stand by and let the universe do all the work, can I? I should put some level of effort too…right? Is time in my hands?”

You stop writing, the pen staying still, bleeding its purple ink into your paper. Is time in your hands? You bring the pen to your lips and chew on the end, your teeth digging into the plastic.

“Is it?” you repeat out loud.

~~~~~

Wow, you haven’t felt this nervous in a while. Your nerves are absolute killers right now. They are shaking you to your death and throwing you over a cliff, they are slapping you in the face repeatedly, they are making you feel so completely helpless.

Your hand trembles furiously as you hold your stupid phone, your whole body is vibrating in terror. You fly out in the morning and you haven’t told Taehyung that you are going to Korea yet. He has no idea that you two will be breathing the same air soon. You try your hardest to take a few deep breaths but you fall short, your breathing quick and sharp instead.

The boys promised not to say anything and you’re counting on it. Jimin is on the verge of tears from his excitement, he’s been waiting for you to visit for the past year. Jungkook is anticipating your arrival as well, his bunny grin imprinted in your mind when you told them you for sure were going. The rest of the guys cheered and sent you a million texts about how happy they are. Everyone knows about your upcoming arrival…everyone but him.

After staring at his message thread for what seems like an eternity you finally decide to chicken out. You click your phone off and throw it on your sofa, it slides against the cushions and somehow falls between the cracks. But you don’t care. You’re happy your phone is out of sight.

You decide to take a walk in the city, the evening air is brisk and the sky is glowing in pinks and purples. You tug your jean jacket closer together as you walk through a cool breeze, it feels nice actually. Like you can breathe again. Your phone is still lost between your couch cushions and you couldn’t feel happier about it.

You decide to stroll around until you find yourself at Cozy Coffee, the shop making you feel welcomed and at home. You head to the counter and order a latte, the warm drink making you melt into some slightly pathetic puddle. Only pathetic because at the end of the day you know you are just avoiding what you must do. But somehow you approve. You just want to enjoy this evening before your trip to Korea. You have no idea what this trip might hold. You have no idea of the experiences you will encounter. You just really have no idea.

You sip on your latte in the corner of the shop, your mind starting to ease as you down your drink. Are you really prepared for this? Are you ready to face him? To be honest, you haven’t even thought about what you might say…you just know the first step is seeing him. Face to face.

You finally head back to your apartment, the sky now lit up by the illuminating moon, guiding you on your path. You feel relaxed again, the moon giving you peaceful energy. You know this feeling is only temporary so you try to embrace it.

Your apartment is chilly inside, the air matching the air from outside. You head towards the thermostat and turn it up a few degrees. You rub your arms in attempt to warm yourself as you head towards you sofa, you look at it with disdain as you remember your phone hiding in its cushions.

You take a deep breath and lift one of the cushions up and search for the damned thing. Your hand finds it and you throw it on the other side of the sofa as you place the cushion back in its place. You finally take a seat and reach for your phone, you take another deep breath as you click it on, seeing you have a missed called from Jimin and also your mother.

You decide to call your mom first, you video chat her right away, waiting for her to answer.

“Hi sweetie.” Your moms voice comes through your phones speaker. “I tried calling a little while ago.”

“Sorry…” you mumble lamely. “What’s up?”

“I know you leave for your trip tomorrow and just wanted to see how you were doing.”

Your mouth opens a little…like you are going to speak but really it’s just from the pleasant surprise you are feeling from your mothers words. The past couple of weeks you two have been chatting more and more.

“I feel…” you feel your body tense, you try to take a deep breath but it feels mostly impossible. “Mom.” Your bottom lip begins to tremble, “I’m scared.”

“Things like this are scary honey.” She breathes out, her eyes soft and on you. “But you aren’t living life unless you are taking leaps of faith.”

“There is a strong chance he won’t want me.” You tell her, your breaths shaky. “Can I handle that?”

“Honey…” Your mom closes her eyes for a second before they’re back on you. “You can handle anything. I believe that. I know in the past…it might not have seemed that way but you’ve grown so much. You are so strong y/n. And I know you want to make things work…” she pauses as you try to calm your breathing, you are trying not to cry. “But…” your mother continues, “But you are complete on your own too. And you will find some epic love or whatever no matter with who. You deserve it so therefore you will have it.”

“He’s my love, mom.” You finally feel your eyes wet with tears. “He’s been my biggest supporter this whole journey and he doesn’t even know it.”

“Well y/n.” your mom exhales through her nose as she smiles for you, “It sounds like you have an important mission for this trip. I hope you really convey your feelings and most importantly…I hope you listen as well. Really listen. Listen to his thoughts and feelings too and be considerate.” She softly advises you. “Communication really is key.”

“I know…” you sniffle.

“Did you know…” your mother hesitates to continue, she exhales a long breath before setting her lips in a firm line. “Your father and I were close to divorcing around the time you were born.”

“Wait what?” you blink at the screen, feeling caught off guard.

Your mother slowly nods her head and closes her eyes.

“We just…didn’t feel like we were on the same page anymore. I didn’t know what he was thinking anymore and he had no idea what was going on in my mind either.”

You pull your brows together as you listen intently, your mom’s words making you feel a little anxious.

“We just didn’t click anymore, it felt like. We were struggling financially at the time and you were…an unexpected surprise. It truthfully further strained our marriage…” she tells you honestly. “But we loved you so much. It was the only thing holding us together.”

“How did you work things out?” you ask quietly.

“We talked. Really talked. I remember we went out on the patio after we put you girls to sleep and we just finally looked at one another and knew we had to have…you know, an important discussion.” She takes a moment to breathe evenly. “I finally let it all out…I told him about how lonely I had been feeling, I told him how I missed him…he was working a lot you know…I told him I just wasn’t happy anymore.”

You feel your heart ache a bit at her words, you never knew this about your parents.

“He ended up crying…nodding his head over and over and telling me he knows how I feel. Because he was feeling it too. The disconnect was hurting the both of us.”

“I had no idea…” you admit, still sniffling. “You and dad always seemed so…okay, all the time.”

“We didn’t want you girls to ever worry. Your father and I have shared bumps in the road but we found a way to cope. We expressed ourselves honestly, the vulnerability creating a closeness I cannot even begin to describe.”

“So you are saying…me and Taehyung—”

“You need to share everything…really everything. This is how you truly move forward.”

“Thanks for sharing that stuff about you and dad…”

“I want to help any way I can honey.” She smiles a smile you rarely see on her, it brings you automatic comfort. “Get some rest and let me know when you land. Goodnight.”

You agree and say your goodbyes to your mom as you both hang up. You sit on your couch still sniffling as you think deeply about what your mother shared with you.

After a few minutes you decide to clean your face with your sleeve and call Jimin back. The ringing only goes on for a second or two before he’s picking up.

“He isn’t going.” Jimin huffs on the video chat. “Said he isn’t in the mood to party.”

“Huh?” you blink at Jimin a few times before you’re realizing. “Oh.”

“You need to tell him you’re coming then maybe he will change his mind…”

“Yeah y/n!” You hear Jungkook yell over the phone, “tell him already! It’s killing me keeping this from him.”

“Well, first of all, hi guys.” You wave at the camera. “Second…” you chew on your lips. A horrible habit of yours, you know. “I will tell him when I get there.” You mumble.

“Oh my god, are you fucking kidding?” You hear Jungkook groan. “Just do it now.”

“Chill!” Jimin scolds Jungkook, “But he’s kind of got a point y/n…”

“Trust me…just let me tell him when I get there. Also, Jimin.”

“Yeah?”

“You’re sure it’s fine that I stay with you?” you look into his eyes through the camera and you see his thick lips curve into a wonderful grin.

“Of course my bff.”

“I want to stay over here too…” Jungkook grumbles, he finally shows himself on screen. “We can all have like a …slumber party or whatever.” His eyes slide to the side as he grows red with embarrassment.

“A slumber party?” Jimin begins to tease, “What are you, a 12 year old girl?”

“I happen to like the slumber party idea.” You nod your head approvingly.

“Seriously though y/n.” Jungkook’s eyes find yours. “Tell him you’re coming.”

“I will, I will.” You wave him off, “I’ll send a text before I fall asleep or something. Happy?”

“Yeah, a bit.” He smirks at you. “Right, Jimin?”

“Yeah.” Jimin grins again, “I’m really hoping for the best, girl.”

“Me too guys…me too.”

~

You double check to make sure you’ve packed everything for your week long trip, you then triple check just to be sure. You feel anxious again but somehow you feel okay at the same time. You think the talk you had with your mom kind of helped you.

You had no idea she and your father shared such “bumps in the road” as she had mentioned. Is talking it out really such a magical solution? Will you and Taehyung really be able to share everything…like everything, everything?

You take one huge deep breath as you pull your phone out…you find Taehyung’s name and begin writing your text.

y/n 9:04pm

I’ll be in korea for Yuna’s birthday. Will I see you there?

You quickly click your phone off and toss it to your bed and squeal. Yes, squeal. You finally did it. Now you wait for a response.

~

It’s 6 am and you are sitting on your flight waiting for takeoff, you stare at your screen as you see the fact that Taehyung read your message several hours ago. He left you on read. You could honestly throw up. You’re anxious all over again.

~~~~~~~

“You belong here!” Jimin is squeezing you so hard it’s almost crushing your very bones. “Just move here already.” He whines into your neck as he continues to embrace you. “Please.”

“My turn…” Jungkook huffs, “I said my turn!”

“Patience, brat.” Jimin teases as he leans away from you, his hands still on your arms. “So how was your flight?”

“You’re really going to try to have a whole conversation with her before I get to hug her? Really dude?” Jungkook shoves Jimin to the side before his arms wrap around you. You return his hug with your own arms circling his tiny waist.

“You missed me, Jungkook?” you inhale his scent, he smells of fresh laundry.

“Whatever.” He grumbles with a toothy grin. “So,” he pulls away from you and gestures you to come inside Jimin’s place. “How was the flight?”

“Long as hell. I’m glad to finally be here.” You walk through, setting your luggage in his walkway. “And I am so damn hungry.”

“Well, we can definitely order some food.” Jimin cheeses, “How does that sound?”

“Sounds perfect.” You take your shoes off and walk further into Jimin’s home. “Smells good in here.” You comment nonchalantly.

“I lit some candles before you got here.” Jimin scratches the back of his neck, “Wasn’t sure if you would like the scent so I blew them out.”

“No, no. I like it.” You find your way into his living room, his black leather sofas taking up much of the space. You find a spot near the window and take a seat.

“So, did you even tell Taehyung? We saw him earlier today and he didn’t say anything so I am assuming you didn’t tell him.” Jungkook says with a serious tone.

“Actually I did.” You pick at your nails, but raise your head as to not look bothered.

“Wait…really? He didn’t say anything?” Jimin questions with the tilt of his head.

“He left me on read.” You say as plainly as possible. “Guess he doesn’t want to see me.”

“He…he left you on…” Jungkook looks over at Jimin, their eyes meeting with curiosity. “But he….?”

“Yup.” You go back to picking at your nails, trying your best once again to look unbothered.

“Well!” Jimin claps his hands together, “What should we eat?”

A few hours pass, night time quickly approaching. You, Jimin and Jungkook wait for Yuna and Jiwoo to arrive at Jimin’s place. You three drinking soju, giggling while resting on the sofas when you hear knocking on Jimin’s front door.

Jimin hurries to answer when you hear the voices of your two friends echoing lightly throughout the place. Yuna appears first, she rushes to your spot on the couch, jumping on you and quickly embracing you. You can’t help but laugh out loud, inhaling her sweet, sweet scent as you two hug one another. Jiwoo joins you both by sitting next to you and wrapping her arms around you.

“H-Hi Jiwoo.” Jungkook quickly stands up when Jimin is coming to his side and nudging his shoulder.

“And Yuna.” He reminds him with his teasing voice.

“Right.” Jungkook clears his throat. “And Yuna. Hi.”

“Hey.” Jiwoo replies cooly, “You guys started drinking without us?”

“You guys took too long!” You slur happily. “We only have had a little, little.” You show her how little with your pointer finger and thumb.

“Sure Miss Drunkie.” Jiwoo laughs, “Yuna I think you can let her breathe now.”

“One more minute!” Yuna rubs her face on your shoulder as she continues to hug you. “Missed my y/n!”

“Yuna!” you giggle. “You have 5 more seconds!”

“Fine.” Yuna pouts dramatically, pulling off you. She sits on your other side and smiles up at you. Her hair is still a pale pink and her eyeshadow is a glittery art work. You look over at Jiwoo with her jet black hair, it’s gotten even longer.

“It’s good to see you guys.” You chirp, “And oh my god, two more days until your birthday!” you point at Yuna excitedly.

“I can’t believe your dad is letting you have your birthday party at the Mondrian.” Jimin takes a seat on the other sofa with Jungkook. “That place is so nice.”

“I’m spoiled.” Yuna sings, “So spoiled!”

“At least she admits it.” Jiwoo deadpans.

You start giggling some more, reaching for another shot of soju. You down it back and smack your lips in satisfaction.

“Yummy!” you sway into Yuna and Jiwoo. “You guys want to play a game?”

“Like what?” Jungkook asks. “I think Hobi said he wants to swing by.”

“Oh! Yay.” You chirp happily, “Can the rest of the guys not make it?”

“We’re meeting with everyone tomorrow Miss impatient.” Jimin takes his own shot of soju.

“But I want to see everyone now.” You jut your lip out. “Jungkook!” you stand up and stumble to where he’s seated. “Call em and tell em to come here. Now.” You plop down next to him. “Pretty please.” You lean into his shoulder and smile for him. Jungkook turns nice and rosy before he’s lightly pushing you away.

“You have to wait y/n.” he reminds you, avoiding your intense gaze.

“Jungkookie.” You whine, “I said pretty please.”

“Wow, she is drunk.” Jiwoo chuckles, “I love it.”

“Same.” Jimin’s eyes turn to crescents as he grins. “She is so…free.” He says quieter, “She’s changed so much.”

“Jungkookie!” You lean into his space again, your big eyes blinking up at him over and over until he’s groaning.

“Fine!” he throws his hands up, “Who should we call first?”

You end up calling the rest of the guys and chatting for a while, your drunken state only worsening. But it’s nothing but a good time. Jimin ends up tucking you in his kind size bed, he brushes the hair out of your face and watches you fondly as you snore in your sleep. He’s so proud of you. Jungkook walks into the bedroom as well and he shares a knowing look with Jimin and Jimin’s smile fades into a frown.

“Want to have a beer on the patio?” Jungkook nods towards outside the room.

“Sure.” Jimin takes one last look at you before he’s leaving you to sleep. Jimin and Jungkook walk past the sofa where Yuna and Jiwoo are knocked out, cuddling each other for warmth. They make their way outside and take their seats on the patios chairs.

“So.” Jungkook pinches his brows together, “He didn’t say anything to us.”

“I know.” Jimin’s frown only deepens. “He’s probably taking his time to process her arrival, you know?”

“Is it that simple?” Jungkook brows pull together even further. “He’s doing so well and maybe he…”

“He just needs time Jungkook. I know him.”

“I know him too Jimin and he acted like she didn’t reach out to him? That’s not…I don’t know, concerning to you?”

Jimin stares straight ahead, bringing his beer to his lips. He takes a few gulps before facing Jungkook.

“Yeah.” He admits. “It is.”

~

The next morning is horrific, the hangover you have is probably literally killing you. Your head is absolutely pounding and your body feels weak. But you have to admit the sheets in this bed feel amazing so you are tempted to stay here forever—or at least until this killer hangover disappears.

“y/n. It’s like 2pm.” You hear Jungkook’s voice hammer in your ears. “Get up!”

“Nooooooo.” You groggily whine, pulling the sheets up over your head. “Want to stay here forever.”

“Brought you some water girl.” Jimin’s angelic voice is heard, he’s gently pulling the sheets down and exposing your tired as hell face.

“Drink it slowly.” He sweetly advises, “And here’s some pain killers.” He hands you two pills and you eye him up before taking them gratefully.

“Thanks…” you murmur. “Holy hell, soju is no joke.”

“Yeah.” Jungkook laughs. “But you hung in there!”

“Where are Yuna and Jiwoo?” you pop the pills in your mouth and drink back some water. The refreshing beverage already making you feel a little more alive.

“They left hours ago!” Jungkook continues to laugh, “You slept through it.”

“Damn.” You grumble, “Wait!” you suddenly raise your head up. “Aren’t the guys getting here at 3 today?”

“Yes.” Jimin smiles, “So maybe you want to shower….and get ready.”

“O-Okay.” You agree, you pull the sheets back off your body and rise from the bed, the room starts to slightly spin and you whine. “I am not drinking this much ever again!”

“You say that now. But Yuna’s party is open bar so.” Jungkook winks.

You gag just at the thought of drinking more alcohol. You drag your feet towards Jimin’s bathroom and your hand reaches for the shower knob and you turn it on, letting the water warm up.

“Okay, I’ll get ready! You two shoo.”

The shower is exactly what you needed, the warm water making you feel relaxed and comfortable. You’re grateful that Jimin is letting you stay at his place for a whole week…you really wish you saw them more often. You really wish you lived here sometimes.

You admittedly love it here…you enjoy your life back home too, don’t get it wrong but something about this place that feels so fitting.

“Almost done in there?” You hear Jimin softly knock on the bathroom door. “Jin says they’re on the way.”

“Be right out!” you call back out. “Almost done.”

You take a look in the mirror and you think to yourself about how nicely you clean up. You got some ripped jeans and a black long sleeve shirt, some light make up and two clips in your hair. You look cute as hell actually.

“Okay. Time to see my friends.” You give yourself an awkward thumbs up in the mirror before you’re chuckling. “Should I practice my Korean on them?” you ask out loud. Then you nod your head and give yourself another thumbs up before you step out of the bathroom, walk through Jimin’s room and enter the living room.

“About time lady!” Jungkook snickers, “What the hell were you doing in there?”

“You shouldn’t ask a girl that!” Jimin swats Jungkook’s arm. “Feeling better y/n?”

“Loads!” you walk towards them and find a place on the couch. “Are they almost here?”

Suddenly, there’s excessive knocking on the front door. You three whip your heads in the direction and you jump up in delight. You race Jungkook to the door and swing it open and as soon as you do so many arms are reaching out to hold you.

“y/n!!!!” Hobi is the first to wrap his arms around you so tightly, he sways your bodies back and forth. “I missed you so much.” He finally lets go when Jin is automatically pulling you into his chest.

“Your favorite one is here now.” He jokes as he squeezes your smaller body.

“Uh have you guys ever stayed up all night on the phone sharing writing tips for hours? I don’t think so.” You hear Namjoon say teasingly. “Come here you.” He’s dragging your arm until your body is being engulfed by his. “About time you visited.”

“Hey, we don’t have any say on y/n’s timing to come here. What matters is that she is here now.” Yoongi stands to the side, waiting for his turn. “But I would like a hug too.” He smiles that gummy smile and you giggle. You leave Namjoon to give Yoongi a tight embrace, he rocks your bodies back and forth before he’s letting go altogether.

“Good to see you y/n.” he says.

“You too. All of you.” You look at the boys, “You have no idea how much I missed you guys. Talking through the phone just isn’t enough, is it?”

“You could always move here.” Hobi offers with a teasing smile. “But you know that already.”

“She does know that!” Jungkook yells over the chatter. “But she’s a scaredy cat.”

“Hey.” You pout towards Jungkook. “Am not.”

“Then move here.” Jimin gives you his best sly smile, “You can live with me.”

“As tempting as that sounds,” you giggle, walking into the kitchen with the guys following behind you.

“Ah y/n, I think your phone is ringing.” Jin points towards the device on the counter. “Should I answer it?”

You raise your brows and head to the counter to see who is calling. Marcus.

“Oh hold on, let me take this.” You announce to everyone before answering your phone,

“Hello?”

“Hey. Just wanted to check in on you.” You hear Marcus’s raspy voice on the other end. “How is it?”

“Good, good. The flight was good. I’ve just been hanging with everyone. Actually I’m with everyone now…can we talk later?” you mumble into the phone.

“Oh.” Marcus chuckles, “Sure. Call me later?”

“Yeah.” He hears the smile in your voice. “I’ll call you later.” And then you’re quickly hanging up, bringing the phone back to the counter. It’s oddly quiet in the house.

“What?” You ask with big eyes, blinking at everyone. They all give you a curious look before you scoff.

“He’s just a friend.” You say sternly. “So stop whatever ideas your guys are all getting in your silly little heads.”

“Just friends….” Namjoon nods his head slowly. “Right.”

“I’m serious.”

“She’s ‘serious’ mhm.” Jungkook nods his head mockingly. “Right.”

“I am!” you groan, “Seriously.”

“She said they’re just friends, guys.” Yoongi puts a hand on your shoulder, “Right?”

“Right.”

“Right.” Jin nods his head quickly.

“Right.” Hobi gives you a thumbs up before he’s giving you one of his signature grins.

“Well,” Jimin comes up to you and reaches for your hand and squeezing it, “y/n is here guys. Let’s make the most of this week. Tomorrow is Friday, aka Yuna’s extravagant birthday ball and we have a lot of catching up to do.”

~~~~~~~

You lay in bed after a long day of hanging with your friends, your phone up to your face as you stare at the screen that mocks you. He read your message and just…never replied. You are trying your best to feel okay but now that you lay alone you start to feel the loneliness creep up. Does he not want to see you? Is he afraid to see you?

You exit your message threads and go to your photos…you find the selfies from your date and you stare and stare at the screen. He’s so strikingly handsome. You feel your chest tighten as you continue to gaze at the photos, you feel your heart squeeze in your chest. Suddenly there is knocking on the bedroom door and Jimin is walking in…you’re quick to click your phone off and pretend you just weren’t staring at the man you love.

“Hey.” Jimin greets you softly. “You still awake?”

“Yeah…” you turn over to face him, you scoot over and pat the spot next to you and he takes the invitation to slide in the sheets.

“How are you doing?” Jimin asks suddenly, his tone is warm and comforting and you almost burst into tears at his question but instead you clear your throat and nod your head a few times.

“Good.” you lie.

“y/n…” Jimin breathes out slowly, “Really. How are you?” his eyes are full of fucking pity and it’s driving you to feel like a god damn burden.

“I said I’m good.” But your voice cracks, and he’s already pulling you into his chest.

“y/n…” he holds you tight as you try to even out your breathing. “I talked to him today.”

“He’s…” you hiccup, “He’s going to come. I know it.” You say into Jimin’s chest. “I know it. Even if he doesn’t reply to me, he’s going to go to the party.”

“…He…said he isn’t going.” Jimin tells you regretfully. “He seemed pretty serious.”

“No.” you sniffle now, “He’s going.” You feel your eyes sting as you try to blink back growing tears. “He’s going.” You repeat pathetically.

“Okay, okay.” Jimin begins rubbing your back. “Okay.”

“I just need a chance Jimin.” You hiccup again, “A chance to show him that I…” your breathing picks up even more, your sharp breaths concerning Jimin.

“Just relax…” He continues to rub your back, “I’m here.”

“Jimin…” your voice cracks again but this time because of a quiet sob that finally breaks through. “I miss him so much.” You cry.

“I know girl.” His soft voice making you feel comforted. “I’m holding onto hope too.” He tells you, his tender tone only making you cry harder.

“Fuck…” you sob into his chest. “I miss him so fucking much.”

You eventually fall asleep in Jimin’s arms after you spent some time crying it out. Jimin has a hard time knocking out, his mind too busy with thoughts of you and Taehyung.

~

“You look absolutely gorgeous.” Jimin has stars in his eyes as he looks at you, “Right, Jungkook?” he hits Jungkook’s arm and Jungkook awkwardly clears his throat.

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Thanks guys.” You tug on the material over your stomach and frown. “Are you sure though? This dress looks fine on me?”

“Absolutely. Gorgeous.” Jimin repeats. “Stunning.”

“He’s right.” Jungkook shrugs. “You do look nice. Or whatever.”

“Fine, I guess I will have to believe you two. You also look nice.” You gesture towards the two men in suits. “This is about to be super fancy isn’t it?” you pinch your brows together as you chuckle. “Yuna really went all out.” You look up at the building. The Mondrian is a beautiful hotel, very luxurious. You three step through the rotating doors and enter the main building.

“She can go all out when she’s got daddy’s money.” Jungkook big doe eyes look around him, he’s in awe of the hotel, that much is clear.

“Should we find the conference room and find the bar and you know, start drinking?” your eyes scan around, noticing all the people dressed up walking to the elevators. “She said it’s on the 3rd floor right?”

“What happened to no more drinking?” Jungkook nudges your shoulder. “But hell yeah, let’s go.”

“I second that.” Jimin links arms with you and Jungkook, leading the way towards the elevators.

You three find the conference room and your eyes grow twice their size. This room is huge, many tables set up, people dancing to loud music, the bar is poppin with lines of people waiting for a free drink, it’s beyond what you imagined.

“y/n!!!” You hear the high pitched voice of no other than Yuna. She looks so beautiful it actually feels blinding. Her deep green gown, her pale pink hair, her subtle yet gorgeous make up. She looks like a fairy princess. Jiwoo follows closely behind, a bold, blue dress with her hair pinned up. She looks like a model out of a magazine.

“You look amazing.” Yuna points at you, her eyes full of genuine surprise. “Like, what the heck?” she looks you up and down, her hands motioning towards your body.

“This dress is so…” She blinks at you repeatedly, “Do a turn for me!”

You giggle, feeling a bit shy but you do a little twirl. Yuna pretends to faint.

“AND IT’S BACKLESS?! You’re killing me!” she yells out dramatically. “Jiwoo are you seeing this?!” “You do look so pretty.” Jiwoo chuckles. “Yuna, can you ever compliment someone more normally?”

“You like the way I compliment.” Yuna raises her head up. “You know it’s true.”

“You literally pretended to have a heart attack when you saw me tonight.” Jiwoo deadpans, “who does that?”

“Girls who recognize real beauty.” Yuna states matter of fact. “And girl, you are beautiful.”

“Shush.” Jiwoo’s cheeks begin to heat up, you can’t help but giggle at the interaction.

“You both look lovely.” You tell them sincerely. “And happy birthday Yuna.” You lean in for a hug, its tight and quick and you’re pulling away much faster than Yuna’s liking,

“Thanks girl.” She smiles for you. “You really do look so nice y/n…are you hoping to see T—”

“Yuna.” Jiwoo warns, “Let’s get a drink?”

“Yeah, let’s do that.” You say, “Where did Jimin and Jungkook go?” you finally notice they’re absence.

“Probably to their table. With the rest of the guys.” Yuna tells you while she starts leading you girls towards the open bar. “Shots?” She smirks towards you two. “It’s my birthday so you can’t say no.”

“Fine. But you’re trying to kill me.” You laugh, “I’m going easy tonight.”

“One shot.” Yuna pouts cutely, “But you!” She points at Jiwoo. “You have to take two with me.”

“Fine by me.” Jiwoo shrugs. We both know between the two of us, it’s me who’s taking care of you and your drunk ass tonight.”

“Counting on it.” Yuna blows Jiwoo a kiss.

“Ugh, let’s do this.”

You girls wait for the shots, taking them quickly once they’re in your hands. The burn is exactly what you needed to loosen up. You’re nervous tonight. You’re anticipating Taehyung’s arrival. Yes, he never replied to you. Yes, he told Jimin he wasn’t coming. But you feel it in your bones…he’s coming tonight. He wants to see you as bad as you want to see him. At least that’s what you are hoping for.

“You’re too good of a dancer Hobi, I can’t keep up with you!” you whine loud enough for him to hear you over the music.

“You’re doing great!” he tells you, his hands on your waist. “Just move to the music girl!”

“Easier said than done.” You laugh loudly, “Hey, what time is it?”

“Hm..” Hobi lifts his left wrist to look at his watch. “Almost 12.” He tells you.

It’s almost 12? And he’s still not here? No, you know he’s coming. He has to. He will. You feel your chest close in on you, and your heart thumping wildly. You know you’re going to see him tonight. You know it. You excuse yourself and head towards the doors of the conference room. You walk past Jimin who suddenly frowns as he realizes you’re heading out the doors, he tries calling out for you but you ignore him. He doesn’t think Taehyung is going to show up.

But you know.

You stand in the hallway in front of the elevators for who knows how long, you shift from one foot to the other as you wait anxiously. The party is still going hard, but you’ve tuned it all out. The only thing you hear is Taehyung’s deep voice. It plays in your mind, him saying something as simple as your name. You wish you were hearing it for real. You hear the ding of the arriving elevator and go rigid.

The sharp intake of breath your weak body just sucked in has you feeling tense. You knew you were going to see him…you knew this was going to happen but here you are, trying so hard to even out your breathing as you await his arrival. No amount of journaling could calm you, relax you, give you a sense of peace. No amount of alcohol could make you feel looser.

“Jimin just told me…” Yuna catches up to you, out of breath. “y/n…” your name leaves her mouth with pity, “I don’t think he’s going to come.”

“He will.” You say, standing your ground outside the elevator. “He will.”

“At least wait inside…” She gestures towards the conference room, where the party is. “It looks lonely waiting out here.”

Your eyes fall to the tiled floor, the shiny cream colored squares showing a vague reflection of yourself. Maybe it is lonely.

“Okay…” You turn around to face Yuna, a tired smile working itself on your lips. “Let’s dance?”

“Yeah.” She offers a drunk smile.

Then you hear the elevator doors opening, you whip your head in the direction of the doors but inside is only unrecognizable faces.

“Let’s go.” You tell her, trying your best not to feel so disappointed.

You both walk into the room again, the music blaring and the sight of sweaty bodies grinding against one another.

“I need a drink.” You take a deep breath before heading towards the bar. You find yourself downing shot after shot.

“Hey, slow down.” Jungkook’s voice cuts in through the booming music. “Don’t want you to like, throw up.”

“Hey Jungkook…?” You hand him your drink, getting it away from you. “You’re always straight up…”

“Don’t do this.” Jungkook warns you softly, “Not now.”

“Is Taehyung—”

“Is Taehyung…what?” A new voice cuts in, a voice you know all too well. It’s deep, deeper than the fucking ocean. It’s smooth, its charming, You feel your breath get caught in your throat as your ears process the voice they heard. You struggle for a moment, but you finally tilt your head to the side and your eyes narrow at the tall figure.

“Am I what?” he repeats.

Finally, a small gasp leaves your lips as your eyes widen in genuine shock. You knew he would come tonight yet somehow you are as surprised as Jungkook next to you. You don’t notice but Jungkook nods his head towards Taehyung and walks away, leaving you two.

“T-Taehyung…?” you blink over and over, not believing your eyes. “What are you—”

“I’m here to see you.” He tells you bluntly. “And my god woman, you are a sight for sore eyes.” He all but whispers, his expression stiff as he eyes you.

“Taehyung.” You release the shakiest breath as you repeat his name.

“Hi y/n.”

You straighten yourself, trying to show off the fact that you aren’t totally drunk. You look all around the slightly spinning room and search for faces you know. Finally, your eyes lock with Jimin’s. He looks worried but he quickly tries to smile for you. You look panicked to say the least. The room is crowded, loud, hot and sweaty. But all of that fades away when the scent of Taehyung fills your nostrils. You take a second to notice he has stepped forward until he is right in front of you.

“y/n.” he says your name as a command. Your frantic eyes find his and you feel the whole room freeze.

Taehyung studies you, his focused eyes scanning every inch of your body. You watch as he lifts a hand and reaches behind you. Then suddenly you are feeling light fingertips tracing your down your spine. His fingers barely skid across your exposed skin and you slowly close your eyes at the contact. Your breathing slowing as well.

Taehyung’s fingers glide back up your back, his touch so light like he almost wasn’t even touching you. His serious expression beginning to soften as he brings his hand back to his own body.

“This dress is like the one you wore on the island.”

“You like it.” You whisper.

“Yes.” He admits, you two gaze into one another’s eyes until he finally looks off to the side.

“Should we talk?” he asks you, “Or are you too drunk?”

“No, no.” you shake your head, “Let’s talk.”

Taehyung looks you over one last time before nodding his head and turning around to head towards the exit. You gulp as you watch his broad back…you hurry to follow him.

Taehyung glances behind him and he exhales a long breath when he sees you rushing after him, he looks forward again until he’s reaching the elevators.

“Come on.” He gestures towards the open elevators.

You walk quickly, reaching him and the elevator before you’re going inside. He follows you in.

“Taehyung—”

“Wait until we are downstairs.” He cuts you off softly.

“Okay…”

The ride is silent. But your mind is as loud as shrieking ghosts, ghosts that want to haunt and traumatize you. You finally hear the ding, signaling your arrival to the first floor.

“Come on.” He tells you, his voice booming throughout the small space. “Follow me.”

You do as he says, you follow him. Truthfully, you would follow him anywhere. Even to the ends of the Earth.

“Yes, hi.” Taehyung begins speaking to the front desk lady. “I want a room, please.”

Wait, a room? You’d follow him anywhere but a room?

“Taehyung—”

“It’s just so we have privacy.” He assures you, not even looking in your direction.

“It’s expensive…” you slur. “We can just talk outside.”

“It’s fine.” He hands the lady his card, “Which floor?”

“6th floor.” She informs him with a bright smile.

Your eyes find your shoes, somehow they’re more fascinating than anything else suddenly. Then you feel the warmth of Taehyung’s hand wrapping itself around yours, his fingers struggling to intertwine with your own. But then you finally receive the hint and allow him to hold your hand.

“You’re drunk, y/n.” he says, voice laced in disappointment, “I’m sorry for making you wait.” He leads you back to the elevators. You two walk inside and he let’s go of your hand, he runs his fingers through his smooth hair and sighs out in defeat.

“You should just get some sleep.”

“I want to talk.” You slur again, “I have…I have so much to say.”

“We’ll see.” His low voice rumbles. “We’ll see.”

The ride up to the 6th floor is long, but you finally make it out of that small space and stumble towards your room.

Taehyung unlocks the door and you make your way inside…the view is amazing. The city is quite the sight.

“Take your shoes off, I’m sure your feet hurt.” Taehyung loosens up his tie.

“They do.” You admit in a whine.

Taehyung takes a seat on the edge of the made bed and watches you with intense eyes as you get comfortable.

“C’mere.” He pats the spot next to him.

Suddenly you become very shy. You haven’t felt this kind of tension in so long. His eyes boring into every inch of your skin, his eyes trailing along your body and making you feel exposed. Making you feel naked.

“Okay.” You nod your head slowly, “I can do that.” You take your time walking to him, sitting next to him on the bed.

“What is it you want to tell me?” Taehyung gets straight to the point.

“Uh….umm…”

“Words y/n.” he closes his eyes for a brief second, then his sight is back on you. “Why did you want to see me?”

“Taehyung.” Saying his name feels so…exhilarating. You’ve avoided it for so long but now you can say it and it feels like freedom and it tastes so, so sweet on your tongue.

“I don’t know where to start.” You admit. “I didn’t rehearse…”

For the first time tonight Taehyung’s face splits into a small smile as he quietly chuckles.

“Rehearse?”

“Yeah…I didn’t practice what to say.” You slur cutely.

“Just let the words flow naturally.” His eyes light up in slight amusement. “What is it you want to tell me?”

“I miss you.” You blurt out, your hand immediately going to cover your mouth as if you said curse words.

“You miss me?” he repeats your words, “Is that so?”

You slowly lower your hand that covers your mouth and nod your head.

“Yes.” You close your eyes and tilt your head back. “This past year…”

“What about it?”

“This past year I…”

“You?” Taehyung raises a curious brow, “You what?”

“I think I’ve become better.” You slur out your words, “I’m better now.”

“Yeah?” Taehyung asks, his voice low. “I’m happy for you.”

“Taehyung.” You lower your head and open your eyes. They stare straight ahead. “Can we make this work?” your words jumble together as you try to speak. Those last shots sneaking up on you.

“I’ve decided that this conversation is going to have to wait.” Taehyung stands from the bed, “I’m going to get you some water.”

You watch as he walks towards a counter and pours you a glass of water, he comes back and places the cup in your hands. “Drink.” He says softly. “Please.”

“O-Okay.” You bring the cup to your lips, your eyes never leaving his as you gulp back some of the liquid.

“Good girl.” He whispers. “Now, I want you to get some sleep.”

“Are you sleeping with me?” you hiccup.

“No.” he tells you with a tender voice, “But I will stay here until you fall asleep, how about that?”

“Okay….”

Taehyung watches you carefully as you lay down on the bed, your head falling onto the fluffy pillow and your eyes closing almost immediately. He softly groans when you begin snoring only minutes later…his eyes never leaving you.

You’re going to be in Korea? For Yuna’s birthday? Taehyung reads your text like he’s on repeat. He is feeling an array of emotions, he feels good things, bad things, things in the middle. But the bad things…aren’t even very bad. It’s just anxiety…and doubt. Maybe it is that bad.

Taehyung decides not to reply not until he’s talked to his therapist, he wants to thoroughly discuss this over and come to a smart decision. But his heart is fucking fluttering at the thought of seeing you. He really misses you. But are either of you ready to face the other?

The next day Taehyung gets to the old man’s office, waiting patiently outside the door until he gets the signal he can go in. Where does he start? Does he just show the text to his therapist? Does he talk about something else first before nonchalantly bringing you up and this text that is haunting him?

“y/n texted me.” He decides to be straight forward, as usual.

“Ah, really?” the old man peeks at Taehyung through his glasses that rest lowly on his nose. “What did she say?”

“She’s coming here. She asked if she will see me.”

“And will you see her?”

“I…I don’t know.” Taehyung admits between a long breath, “I really don’t know.”

The old man nods his head in quiet understanding, he jots down some notes on his notebook with his pen.

“Taehyung.�� The man stops writing his notes to get a look at Taehyung, “What do you want from her? If anything at all.”

“I just want her to live a good life.”

“That’s not what I asked. I asked what you want from her?”

“I don’t know anymore.” He tells the old man, his voice low.

“It’s okay not to know. You don’t have to see her if you aren’t ready, you know?”

“I don’t?” Taehyung asks, but then his lips curve upward like he realizes how silly his question is. “I know.” He nods his head, “But it’s not like I don’t want to see her. I do.”

“Then—”

“But I don’t know how to prepare for that. I don’t know how to face her. What will we even talk about? Why does she want to see me? Is she just being polite because we share the same friends? That she knows she’s bound to run into me? Or is it because she does want to see me? But why? Why?” Taehyung begins to ramble. “Can we coexist? Is this just about coexisting? Is that about us? Her and I? Is this about what we can maybe be? But how do either of us know we are ready for that?”

“Ah, that.” The old man sighs out, taking his glasses off. “I know it may seem like cliché words…but you will just know.”

“You’re right. Those are cliché words.” Taehyung says with a straight face.

“But they are a classic for a reason, you know?” The old man points out with a chuckle. “You will feel it. You will feel it in every fiber of your being of what the right thing to do is. You will feel it. Your bones will tell you. Your heart will tell you. You will realize how simple and easy it is to just know.”

“But I don’t know?”

“Because maybe it isn’t time for you yet to be aware. But the time will come.”

“I think for now…I need time to think. I didn’t have enough time to prepare for this.” Taehyung says honestly. “This is too sudden.”

“You have every right to feel that way.”

“But how does she feel?” Taehyung becomes worried, his soft expression becoming more and more serious.

“We’re here to focus on you.” The old man reminds him gently. “In the end, I believe you will do what you think is best. You will do what you think is right. And coming to those type of conclusions takes time.”

Taehyung sits down in a chair across from the bed, gazing at you as you sleep. He thought seeing you would give him the answers he needs but he’s still lost. It took a lot for him to show up here…it took a lot for him to gather the courage to face you. He thought for sure once he saw you he would know everything. He would feel what to do. But seeing you here only confuses him further. What does he want? What is he ready for? Does he even know you anymore?

Finally, Taehyung stands up from the chair and walks to your side of the bed. He reaches his hand to gently stroke your cheek before he’s leaving the room. Leaving you. He sends a text to Jimin letting him know your room number and that you’re fast asleep. Then he is heading back home.

~~~~

“A movie night?” you tilt your head to the side, “I don’t know…can we just—”

“It’ll be a good way for everyone to unwind from last night’s partying!” Jimin whines, “Please! I promise you can choose the first movie.” He offers with a sweet smile.

“Jimin I don’t know…if I’m up for this after last night…”

“Oh? Didn’t I tell you?” the corner of Jimin’s mouth curves upwards. “He said he was going to come tonight.”

“Huh?”

“Yeah, said he wanted to hang with everyone. Guess that includes you.” Jimin points out knowingly. “You said you guys didn’t really get to talk so maybe…”

“I don’t want to get my hopes up.”

“But you said you were going to give it your all right? This is an opportunity.”

“Oh…” you start pulling at the ends of your hair, “That’s true.”

“So movie night?”

“Movie night.”

You and Jimin clean up his place as you wait for everyone’s arrival. Hobi and Yoongi show up first, then Namjoon and finally Jungkook and Jin. Taehyung still hasn’t shown up and you guys are about to play your first movie. You wonder if he is really coming.

“He’s coming, I just talked to him on the way here.” Jungkook assures you. “Relax.”

“I am relaxed.” You lie, “You relax.”

“He went last night…that’s a good sign, right?”

“I don’t know.” You admit honestly. “We didn’t get to talk.”

Suddenly, you hear the front door unlocking and opening up. You guess he has a key. You freeze on the sofa, you can hear your heartbeat pounding in your ears. He’s here.

“Hey guys.” You hear his deep voice rumble. “I’m here.” He announces but you keep your eyes on the TV. You feel his footsteps get closer and closer, the pitter patter against the wooden floors making you so anxious.

Then you see his figure in your peripherals, he’s standing on the side of the couch, facing you.

“Hi y/n.”

You gulp, your eyes still on the TV when you remind yourself you’re a brave girl. You slowly turn your head to face him, your wide eyes finding his face. His hair is shorter than you remember, still a bit wavy and still dark. He looks so handsome, so mature. He’s got on some comfortable looking pants and a printed button up, his hands in his pockets as he looks down at you.

“Hi.” You squeak.

“Can I sit next to you?” he asks, his low voice barely heard by the others. “If it’s okay…”

“Yeah!” you rush to scoot over, making room for him. “Sit, sit.”

Taehyung gives you a wide boxy grin and nods his head quickly, he takes a seat next to you, his shoulder bumping yours. Fuck, you feel like you’re in middle school. His shoulder is like, fucking heaven or some shit.

“What movie did you guys decide on?”

“I don’t know, something random.” You tell him nervously. “It just started. You haven’t missed much.”

“I don’t think I’ll be paying much attention to the movie anyway.” Taehyung whispers, his warm breath fanning your cheek from how close he is.

“Oh?” you gulp. “Jimin says it’s good though.”

“I’m not really here for the movies, you know?” He leans into you a little bit and you feel a harsh, harsh blush creep up on your heated cheeks. His fingers find your knee and he taps against your jeans. “Can we talk outside?”

“The—The movie….” You whisper, pointing at the screen. “Let’s just watch the movie for now.”

Shit, you haven’t felt this nervous under his gaze in his long. His eyes study you as you watch the film. You can feel his intense gaze. You can feel how he just stares at you from time to time.

You aren’t sure why you are chickening out…maybe because you’re embarrassed about being drunk last night. How you asked if you guys could work on it, but he said he wanted to save this talk for later. It’s just making you more and more nervous.

“This movie is boring.” Jin yawns. “Let’s pause and order some food? Also let’s go to the store and get some beer?”

“Dude yes!” Hobi agrees, “I’ll go. Who wants to come with me?”

“I’ll go with you.” Namjoon raises his hand.

“You’re right I need your muscles to help me.”

“I’ll order the food!” Jimin offers but Jungkook is quick to volunteer as well, something about not trusting Jimin to get all the good meats.

“Sounds good.” Yoongi brings out his phone and starts playing on it.

Taehyung glances over at you and nods towards the patio.

“Shall we?” he begins standing up, he faces you and extends his hand out for you to take. You hesitate but you take it. The warmth of his hand sending tingles all throughout your body, you wonder if he feels it too.

He leads you out to the patio and you both take a seat across from one another. You nervously shake your knee up and down and Taehyung can’t help but chuckle.

“Will you calm down?” He insists, “You’re the one who wanted to talk, remember?”

“I know.” You find his beautiful, brown eyes. “I do.”

“Then talk.” He gestures for you to go on.

“Taehyung.”

“Yes?”

“How has your year been?” this is where you decide to start.

“Hard. Good. Worth it.” He leans back in the chair, “I struggled some days more than others but mostly…really good.”

“Do you think you could…be honest with me? Be open with me?” you nibble on your lips, your knee continues to shake.

“How so?”

“Can you tell me all about your year, what you went through, how you felt. Your feelings in general. Could you do that? With me?”

Taehyung blinks at you in surprise for a few seconds before he is closing his eyes altogether. He leans even further back in his chair and takes a deep breath.

“You want to know me again?” he whispers out. “You want to know me?”

“Yes. And I want you to know me in return.” Your shaking knee finally comes to a stop as you drag your chair closer to his. “I want to…really talk. About everything. I want to understand you. I want…”

“I understand.” Taehyung nods his head before opening his eyes again, they find yours and you’re intimated by his gaze. He observes you for a while, his serious expression making you nervous again.

“What do you want from me?” He asks bluntly. “What is your ultimate goal here?”

“You.” You reply just as straight forward. “I want you.”

“I don’t know.” He says quickly, you feel your heart squeeze in your chest. He doesn’t know?

“I think…” he sighs out, “I don’t think it’s that simple.” And what the old man said is starting to make sense. This is a moment where Taehyung feels it. He feels what the right thing to do is.

“I don’t think we can jump into something like romance, y/n.”

You brows pinch together as you listen to him speak, but you relax your features and nod in understanding,

“Do you want to be friends with me, Taehyung?”

“I think that’s a place we can start.”

[chocominnie]

One Last Time 04  —  Pjm. (M)

⇢ pairing: Jimin X Reader

⇢ Genre: Idol!Jimin, Exbf!Jimin, model!reader, sad au, fluff, tons of smut, angst

⇢ Synopsis: Your idol ex boyfriend Jimin cheated on you. You two have been broken up for a while now and the media has been keeping track of you and him. You’re trying to get over him, but the things that happen inbetween makes you re-think the entire breakup, and so does Jimin…

⇢ Song : xxxxx

⇢ Previous : 00 01 02 03

⇢ Word Count : 4.7k

⇢ Warnings: dominant jimin, makeout sessions, this is honestly a sad angsty au, cheating, pregnancy, unprotected and protected sex, a bunch of sex, no really a LOT of sexual themes too, I know I’m forgetting some but sorry in advance!

⇢ Copyright: please do NOT repost, translate, or modify my works in any way, shape or form, on any platform. If found doing so , it is considered as plagiarism and appropriate LEGAL action will be taken

⇢ Authors note: This is my mini series for the summer! Get your tissues, things to take your anger out on, and sit back and watch the drama unfold. Shall we begin?

Last night can’t get out of your mind. It’s not like you to do such a dumb thing. Kissing Jimin... you didn’t know what had gotten into you last night. The last thing you’d ever want to do is have someone go through the same thing you did with Jimin when he had cheated on you. Your mind raced all night thinking if that kiss, that one sole kiss, would make you the bad guy? Make this whole situation worse? 

Wrong.

Both of you were vulnerable and just not the same. Of course you’re still tender to the subject of and about him, and forever will have have a soft spot for Jimin. You didn’t expect that to happen though. 

‘‘ Yes.. Yes.. Okay.. I understand.”

You drone on for the millionth time today. Only 9 am and calls are making their way to you. You’ve been caught. Someone spotted you and Jimin last night walking to your apartment. Luckily the pictures were only garage scenes of you and him. Jimin’s head hanging low trailing a distance behind you while you hold your sore arm. Thankfully, by the looks of the new articles every damn hour, they think that you had hurt yourself and Jimin was supposedly there for you for comofort.

The fanpages are going to have a field day with that.

Your manager continues to lecture you about how this could start a scandal, how you should of been more careful, and finally that those words everyone has told you before. He wasn’t good to you, move on.

‘‘ Listen im just going to be with Ryan today and she’s bringing Jungkook. We are heading over to Ryan’s office to discuss things and what not.’‘ You sigh into the phone, wanting to hang up already.

Your manager on the other line is hesitant for you to go, but gives in once you say you’ll only be an hour in and out. That’s the only way you’ll get to go out today. Whenever small scandals like this brew up, the management company would make you stay low for the next three days. 

You both say your goodbyes and then hang up. Finally. Somewhere in the room Clara lets out one of her tiny meows making you smile to yourself. The day planned ahead is way more exciting than you worrying to yourself

‘‘ Baby please. I have to go’‘

Isabel smirks lowly while shaking her head. Jimin watches her intensively as her hands roam all around his now bare chest, that was covered with a shirt two minutes ago.

‘‘ Jimin, you and I both know that we haven’t had much time to ourselves lately.’‘

Her dainty fingertips trace over his forming abs one by one staring him straight in the eyes. He bites his lip hard just before letting out a useless groan with his head thrown back in the chair. It’s true. With all the celebrity show appearances they’ve had, the quality time together has been cut short.

He ries to pry her hands away from his jeans but it’s no use. “ I have to leave, Jungook wants me at Ryan’s office in twenty minutes.”

Her face turns into a pout, lifting her hands from his jeans.  ‘’ So he’s more important than your girlfriend?’’

‘‘ Well I mean he is my blood broth- Fuck!’’

It’ was quick enough to where he didn’t feel it coming. Before he knew it, his jeans were unbuttoned and her mouth glides across the imprint of his shaft hiding behind his boxers. “ We can stop and you can leave.. if you want..” She knows exactly what shes doing by making sure her voice is low and those round eyes meeting his. 

His groans only become louder when she takes a long, slow lick from the base to the tip. There’s no way on hell he’ll miss this opportunity to get some head. Jimin’s craving for sex has been high lately and with no time to recieve pleasure, he damn sure wasn’t gonna let up this offer. “ Fuck that. Keep going my love.”

Grabbing a fistful of Isabel’s hair, he yanks his boxers down revealing his thick, hard member hat springs up to his belly button. Isabel smirks at him just before taking the whole thing down her throat making Jimin moan out louder in pleasure. The sound of sucking, wet noises fill the studio’s ambiance.

Jimin watches her intensely while letting out low groans and growls as her bobbing head becomes quicker. This isn’t what he wants truly.  What he wants is you. You is who he wishes who’d be pleasuring him right now. The way you’d sometimes gag on him when his dick filled your mouth completely was something he’d always enjoyed seeing. The way your eyes water with him stuffed in your mouth but determined to go on was a major turn on for him. He wants you and only you. Right now in this moment Isabel doesn’t mean shit to him but you do. 

He can’t help but to lean back in his chair and close his eyes waiting to chase his high, all with the thoughts of you and your guises past sexual encounters turning him on even more with the lost track of time in the back of his mind.

You on the other hand, wait with Jungkook and Ryan who are getting a bit anxious waiting for the boy’s arrival. You of course didn’t want him to come. It’ll only make things more complicated than it is right now. Essentially you were going to leave when Jungkook said he’d be inviting Jimin.. yet again. 

Seeing as though when you were on your way to the office, you had glanced at the clouds and could see a big thunderstorm brewing. You’d rather not take your chances of being rained on while walking back to your apartment.

‘‘ Geez where is this guy? He’s always late ever since he’s been with Isa-”

A shove by Ryan shuts him right up before finishing his sentence. Ryan gives him a glare and a few utters of words to him before turning back to the giant window that gazes over the bright nightlife of Seoul.

One part of you wishes for Jimin not to actually show up but the other does. Just to see his face and reaction too you ever since yesterday. But just for the sake of it, you won’t bring it up. Play it off like it never happened.

‘‘ Was it really necessary for us to come at night? We couldn’t of just come during the day?’’ Jungkook says, walking over to her.

He snakes his arms around his waist placing gentle butterfly kisses around her neck. The reflection off the mirror shows her facial expression, a slight smile as they sway from side to side. A ping of happiness shoots through you at the sight of them. It reminds you of you and Jimin. That happiness quickly shuts down.

You smile to yourself, “Well i’m a model, Jungkook and his brother are idols, and you’re an upcoming fashion designer dating said Idol. ”

Jungkook clears his throat before placing his arm gently around Ryan, “ Yeah she’s MY girlfriend.’’ He says proudly. Ryan shakes her head while playfully rolling her eyes. 

You giggle along with her. It’s only been a short while since he’s asked her and he seems so happy and proud with her. Something you wish that Jimin wouldn’t have ruined for you two.

‘‘ Nobody knows we are dating and If paparazzi catches you coming to my office it’s going to stir up something rather it be little or not.’‘ Ryan sighs, sitting down next to you on the white couch.

Jungkook pauses to be silent for a second but continues on, “ That would happen regardless because paparazzi comes out at any time of day. We just so happen not to get caught.’’

Your frail hands begin to play with the sleeve of your shirt at the wrists. Something you do when anxious but trying to keep calm. You’re starting to get annoyed with this couple talk. You’re happy for them but rubbing it in is starting to hurt a bit. Where is he at?

‘‘ You know what im tired of waiting. If he comes he comes. If he doesn’t oh well we already knew he’s an asshole because of that girl now.” Ryan scoffs.

She folds her arms as she leans onto Jungkook who’s now sitting on the arm of the couch. He chuckles at her pouting and sudden anger just before giving her a kiss on the forehead.

You take in the sight of them. Two love birds that mean the world to each other. You wouldn’t dare want nor try to break them up. You knew Jungkook has been waiting for that moment to ask her. When he did on that day Ryan couldn’t of been even more happier.

And if as on cue, that familiar face comes in quietly with two large brown bags in his hands. You choose not to make eye contact with him when he stops infront of the couch, glancing at you.

‘‘ Im sorry im late. I bought food for us..” He pleads for forgiveness. If it was up to you then you wouldn’t have forgiven him. Hell, you still don’t want to forgive him for that act last night. Yet you can’t be a hypocrite because you’re just as guilty.

Jungkook takes the bags from him due to the way to familiar scent coming from them. Jajangmyeon. His favorite noodles of all time. A quick way to earn his forgiveness of anything.

‘‘ You are forgiven don’t let it happen again,”  He says, smiling ear to ear as he pulls out his serving of noodles.

Ryan hands you a pair of chopsticks and your serving of noodles. You thank her and look down at the bowl. If you did eat it that means you forgave him, if you didn’t that means you wont. Your mind doesn’t know which one to pick.

While everyone sits there talking amongst themselves you sit there with chopsticks in hand zoned out. You seen the hickies when he had came in. When he had tilted his head announcing his arrival, thats when you saw it peeking from under his scarf. that The dark bruises peaked up and back into hiding whenever he moved.

‘‘ You don’t like the noodles?” Jungkook says, taking a big bite of noodles then slurping them up.

Ryan gives you one of your guises code looks but you give one back to say you are fine. ‘’ Im sorry I was just zoned out.’’

You don’t engage on any of the conversation instead you sit there eating your noodles quietly until they’re gone. That is until the real reason why you are here is brought up.

‘‘ We are here because me and Jungkook have thought about you guys.” Ryan glances at the boy who’s now wiping his face free of sauce.

Great. When are people going to stop doing that though?

‘‘ Ryan come on now, I honestly don’t care. He’s happy with her and I am with myself. Im serious. Please stop thinking about things like this. Im happy can’t you see that! ‘‘ By this point you know you’re all worked up.

It isn’t the truth, but you just want everyone to stop worrying so you could move on. Bringing the whole situation up all the time is draining for you and you’d rather not be reminded of Jimin and what he does and how he’s doing.

Jimin keeps quite with a stare that’s intense on you. You stare right back at him with an emotionless expression. The both of your eyes never leave each-other but you knew it had hurt him. Saying that you’re fine but he knows you’re bothered a lot.

Jungkook sighs heavily, “Baby-Cheeks don’t get all upset now. We are just worried solely on you. Even Jimin is and we all came to an agreement to have this civil conversation right here and now because all of it needs to be addressed.”

You cock your head slightly to the side not leaving Jimin’s eyes. You knew for a fact that this entire conversation is his doing just by Jungkook saying that last sentence. 

“ I told you to stop worrying about me. I really meant it. I’m fine. I am F I N E .’’ You spell out the words, then shake your head clearly pissed off. 

‘‘ But you aren’t. You constantly lose focus and don’t talk as much. Im worried for you so much that it pains me to even see you like this.” Jimin bites his lips to prevent from breaking down. You know that expression all to well.

That still doesn’t mean he should be worrying about you. You two are no longer together and no matter how many times you scream it to the top of your lungs each time, nobody listens to you.

‘‘ I am fine. I promise you guys. I’ve just had a comeback and they set me on a strict diet for the next few months and I go to the gym more than I used to because that’s what us models do. Since I have been absent for a year now my break time is over. The reason I zone out is because I have a busy schedule and sleep is whenever I can get it so that makes me tired often. I am fine.”

Your explanation is partially true and you do feel bad for lying on some of the parts but knowing them they will keep doing whatever to make things right. It’s time for you and them to stop worrying about Jimin and your relationship with each other.

The group doesn’t say anything after that. You tried to keep the best serious tone you had to explain that to them. Luckily they fell through and believed it. All except Jimin.

‘‘ Now can we move on? Is everything okay now?”  You ask, looking at both Ryan and Jungkook. They both shake their head slowly still unsure of what to think.

‘‘ Well since that is over with, lets all take our leave yeah?” Ryan sighs, collecting everybody’s trash from the food. You nod your head and begin to help her while the boys go somewhere in the room to talk privately together.

You don’t care enough to want to know about what they’re saying. As long as they don’t bring anything of worriedness about you again then it’s okay. Soon after the room is all cleaned up you grab your coat and scarf. Jungkook grabs Ryan’s and helps her into hers, zipping it all the way up.

‘‘ My baby can’t catch a cold.” He giggles before placing a kiss on her forehead. Ryan turns a deep red in her cheeks as he continues to dress her properly for the snow outside.

‘‘ Can we talk privately again?’‘ A quite voice says behind you. You knew it all to well. But you don’t turn around at all while slipping your coat on.

‘‘ I’ve thought I made myself clear. I don’t need to say it again. Please just accept it.”  The maroon colored scarf is gently placed around you from behind.

You grab his hands to stop him but he’s quick enough to come in-front of you and begin to wrap it for you. “ You lied. You can fool them but not me.’’

You break his hands away from the scarf, making sure to glare at him before you storm out of the office. All of the pressure and just concern in general is getting to you. It’s not like you to get worked up to this point. You hate making scenes and you knew that when you left like that it’s going to spark more curiousness.

The heel of your black suede thigh high boots click down the hallway fast as tears feel the brim of your eyes. Why wont they just leave it be?

After taking the long way out and going down three flights of stairs from the emergency exit, you make it down to the lobby and out the rotating doors.

When you do you almost choke out a whimper at the sight at Jimin greeting Isabel with a hug in which she pulls him down to a deep passionate kiss while waiting in-front of his car.

He was just upstairs dressing you properly, but kissing on her a few minutes later. Typical Jimin.

You bite your lip hard enough for the taste of blood to fill your mouth to prevent from crying right then and there. You can’t show her any sign of weakness. This is what she wants you to do. Cry and breakdown in-front of her to gain victory. She can’t have it. She wont have it.

You slip your hands into the coat pockets and begin your journey down the street. Catching a taxi would be no use. The cold harsh wind mixing with the hard drops of rain feel euphoric but numb to you.

‘‘ What are you doing? You’ll catch a cold for walking in this type of weather!” A voice yells far from behind you.

You don’t bother to look back at him. You up your pace just by a little to get that voice far away from you as possible. He kissed you last night, but kissed her right infront of you. The lump in your throat is sore and your heart hurts with each step you take.  Is this how the game goes? It hurts. It hurts a lot. 

 The wind blows harsh and the rain blows on your face making your makeup wet but not smeared. The mascara running down your face doesn’t matter from your wet tears.

 The stop lights turn yellow, red, and then green a couple of times. You count the number of changes before walking past it. Three times total.

Yellow

Red

Green

then back again.

The thunder roars causing you to jump a bit, but you’re numb to any noise around you anyways. You sniffle repeatedly to stop your nose from running but why not just let it run? Why not just let everything go. Let yourself go. Yeah that sounds about right. Let yourself g-

The blackness of your vision is sudden. No chance to react when the sound disappears from it. To the ground your body goes, laying there in a puddle of water. Your eyes blink slowly when you wince in pain upon bringing your hand up to your head. Vision goes in and out, in and out. You can’t hear the disorted person above you screaming and shaking you just before blacking out again.

The look of horror on his face and adrenaline runs through his body as soon as your eyes close. He thinks it’s his fault. His fault for wanting to keep talking to you. His fault for kissing you last night. His fault for stressing you out to your limits for you to walk home instead of asking him for a ride.

Running his hand through his hair, he slowly picks up your limp body. He saw that fall, and that fall was hard. You slipped on a decent sized amount of a dirt and mud mixture from not paying attention. Tears roll down his eyes when he places you in the passenger seat to buckle your seatbelt where your chest rises up and down. A sign of life.

The ride to your house is hell for him. Constantly hitting the steering wheel out of anger from himself and crying loudly wishing for you to be fine and okay. The hospital wasn’t an option right now. If paparazzi saw him taking you in unconcious right after the small scandal, he’d be sure that he’d be on the news for the next two weeks for supposedly abusing you, which isn’t the case.

It doesn’t take him long to arrive, considering he was tokyo drifting through the streets of Seoul. Laying your body on your bed, he sees the bottom of your outfit is dirty with mud. At first he hesitates but keeping muddy clothes on you wouldn’t be right of him.

After picking out some sweatpants, he moves on to your hoodie collection and spots one in the back of the drawer folded into a ball. Jimin lets out a small laugh when he realizes its one of his. It must of ended up here in transit when packing from the old apartment.

Nevertheless, he decides it’s that one you’ll be wearing and not anyone of the others. When it comes time to undress you, he looks away when taking off your clothes and putting the new clothes on. He tucks you in when done, planting a small kiss on your forehead just before going to get an icepack for you to place it on your head.

The sound of cartoons playing in a distance wakes you up. Your eyes stir open until full view. The throbbing of your head makes you wince a little. You’re just as more confused as to when you made it into your apartment let alone your room.

‘‘ You’re awake?’‘

He places the icepack on the back of your head but when he goes to grab your hand to make you secure it, your heart skips a beat when his soft hand touches yours. It’s been a while since you last had his warm touch against yours. 

The thoughts in your head stops when he lets go of your now cold hand. ‘‘ Why are you here?”  You say, finally looking at him.

‘‘ You fell. You fell on a puddle of mud while crossing over to the next sidewalk.” He sighs, eyes staring at you with anger yet relief. Instead of fighting back for the sake of your throbbing head, you just look down.

Thats when you notice the new set of clothes on your body. You certainly weren’t wearing this hoodie before. In fact you knew for a fact that this particular hoodie was balled up in the back of your dresser drawer. It’s his. 

 “ You undressed me?” You yell, furrowing your eyebrows at him. You pull the cover closer up to your body out of embarassment but Jimin doesn’t care. He’s more worried about the fall than the undressing.

“ Do you fucking know how got damn worried I was?” Jimin walks over to you with his arms crossed and jaw clenching. You want to hide right about now. “You’re more worried about if I was a pervert or not but news flash, I didn’t even look at you while undressing you. I’m not the asshole you think I am.”  

Silence is golden.

‘‘ We all shouldn’t have been out there with a storm coming, but we came to the office for your sake. You keep putting yourself at risk, just stop!‘‘ He semi-yells at you. 

You know he’s correct but that doesn’t stop you from forming the lecture into an arguement.

‘‘ Risk? I don’t take risks unless necessary. I was just minding my business and walking home. I guess I wasn’t mindful for that the weather wasn’t suitable for walking. Thank you for tending to me.’’

The boy scoffs with a sarcastic smile on his face backing away from your bed. You close your eyes knowing you shouldn’t of said that. ‘‘ Wasn’t mindful? Really? Why can’t you just listen to me whenever I need you to?”

‘‘ You were with Isabel. I don’t have anything to do with your guys relationship at all. I didn’t want to seem like a threat to her. ‘‘

Jimin sighs and rubs his temples, ‘’ You know you’re hard headed right? Do you think I give a flying fuck if she was there or not? You health and you yourself are important to me. ‘’

Here we go again.

‘‘ I said don’t worr-’‘

Jimin raises up quickly with anger and sadness written all over his face, ‘’ I don’t care what you say. Fucking listen to me when I say so! I’m going to worry about you until the day I die and cannot breathe anymore! Accept it okay?’’ He semi- yells, chest heaving up and down fast.

You keep your eyes away from his. You knew it would happen. You knew he would blow up somehow today.

‘‘ Im not going to accept it. Want to know why? I’m not your girlfriend anymore. I have to accept the fact that you no longer are in a relationship with me Jimin. You need to too.’‘

Jimin sighs, pacing back in forth across the wooden floor while running his fingers through his hair repeatedly, “ I was hoping it wouldn’t have to be like this. I’m not letting it happen anymore. From now on I will be checking on you everyday. Understand?’’

‘‘ No I don-”

‘‘ Understand?’‘ He growls, head whipping towards your direction.

There it goes. Pissed off Jimin. The side of his dominance that he dares anyone to overpower.

‘‘ Jimin you cannot come he-”

He shoots you a glare wanting his question answered now. You bite your lip making sure to shut the fuck up at this point. Anything you say after you know would do damage. ‘‘ Do you. Fucking. Understand?’‘

You nod your head. When he becomes like this there isn’t any way to stop him or change his mind.

‘‘ Good. Im not leaving for the night.”

You furrow your eyebrows, “Woah Jimin. Okay that’s too far. That’s considered cheating on Isabel.”

‘‘ It’s not. Not if im not with her anymore.’‘

Your heart jumps at those words. Not with her anymore?

‘‘ You honestly didn’t have to break up with her for me.”

You know you’d honestly feel very bad, but not as bad because she honestly deserves it for being a homewrecker. Then again, what does that make you?

‘‘ We technically are on a break. Im planning to break up with her in a couple of days.” He says, turning the blaring hot heater that was turned on prior to you waking up, onto it’s low settings.

You decide that’s enough of questions and to just enjoy his company there while it lasts. Putting the cover back down, you pick up your phone from the nightstand. A few texts from your manager, a missed call from Ryan. By the looks of it they both don’t know what happened and that somehow relieves you. 

Looking back up at him, you notice him turned around about to take off his shirt. His back muscles are evident and flex whenever he moves. You miss those. The way they’d feel under your hands and nails when he used to be ontop of you giving you the best nights of your life.

You hadn’t known he had turned around because you’re too deep in thought recalling those nights. “ Im assuming you like what you see?”

So you’ve been caught. “ No. Put your shirt back on.” Its a lie but you can’t admit to daydreaming about him.

‘‘ Hush im just changing into new clothes.’‘

You watch him go to your bottom left dresser and it all clicks to you. Back when you both shared an apartment Jimin kept extra clothing for emergencies always in the left bottom drawer.

You don’t know why, but you felt that it was tradition to put his extra clothing inside the bottom left drawer when you moved into here. Jimin had left the box of emergency clothing, on accident, with you as the both of you moved out.

When things had arrived here and you started unpacking you had seen what was inside the box. Instead of calling him to retrieve it, you just placed them in the bottom left drawer of your dresser in case something had ever happened where he was in need.

And that scenario just so happened to play out today.

You close your eyes as he casually slips his pants off in front of you. You want to peak but choose not to. ‘‘ Why are you covering your eyes? You’ve seen all of me before.”

And you want to see it all again.

‘‘ Yeah whatever. Im sleepy.’‘

 You rub your eyes and let out a quite yawn. You can feel his eyes staring into you so you turn to face him while getting comfortable under the covers.

Jimin turns out the lights first and then the t.v. Pitch black just how you like it.

‘‘ I forgot how cute you can be.’‘ He shakes his head, pulling you closer to him to where you’re laying on his chest with his arms wrapped around you.

His heartbeat is relaxing to you. So relaxing that soon enough, the both of you are fast asleep tangled in each-others love.

Once again, you fell for his sweet-talking and little white lies. All because you want another chance, one last time.

[olivia-anderson-fanfic]

Canary, Part 3

First

Previous

Unfortunately, her plan now required her to find… herself. She didn’t know whether to be pleased or annoyed that it was so hard.

But it wasn’t hard enough.

The bats were likely to try and figure out who she was and, while she had gone through a lot of effort to try and hide her identity in America where her cases would be too average for anyone to notice they had gone missing, there was no way that their databases didn’t stretch to France. And, unfortunately, in France she was pretty well-known. Thanks a lot, Adrien.

She sighed and rested her head in her hands, thinking. It would take forever to find herself and even longer to create new files…

Nope. That was a problem for later. She had other things she could be doing.

Right?

…

... right!

She needed funds. What kind of asshole blackmails you into doing a job for them and doesn’t even bother to pay for it? Bullshit.

Alright, easy money first. Turn in all the jobs that she had already finished.

She edited the footage of Signal using his meta powers to get rid of the egg (it was kind of stupid but she was a little embarassed by how she’d had to do it) then sent it off to Calendar Man. She had no clue what he wanted with it. She also didn’t care. It was Calendar Man. What was he going to do? Aggressively celebrate… she checked a calendar for the next major holiday… it was currently May 24th... he’d better not do anything on Juneteenth, so… the fourth of July?

Next she sent off her notes from the meeting to… Mob Boss #1242355.

(Not before looking up what Big D was, of course. She couldn’t figure it out, but she did find out about a character named Dudley Dursley. The name was stupid enough to look more into it and now she had the Harry Potter books as audiobooks. It was better than doing the hacking in silence at least.)

They didn’t pay her the full amount because a chunk of the meeting was missing. That made sense. She was still pretty bitter. She’d written down everything of importance, it wasn’t her fault that she had other jobs --.

Okay, yeah, it was… but they didn’t need to punish her for it!

She huffed a little as she looked at the sum of her money from those two jobs. She could pull from her savings… but that was her savings. That seemed counterintuitive.

Which meant that she needed to turn in her report a little early.

Her finger hovered over the send button… but something occurred to her. A grin spread across her face as she sent it to her printer instead.

She touched up her makeup in a mirror, pulled on her mask, and was out the door in minutes.

~

“-- saying is that Valentine’s Day must be really uncomfortable for Kryptonians --,” Red Hood was explaining to someone she couldn’t yet see. The light flicked on in the room and she blinked a few times to get used to it.

She waited until she could see the other person and she sighed internally. Red Robin.

But, hey, she needed money. Whatever family drama that happened after she left was really none of her business.

“Yeah. I wonder if they have to go off-world on holidays,” she mused.

She dropped out of the vent behind them and smiled in the face of the gun and bo staff pointed at her. Their shoulders slumped as they registered who it was and they lowered their weapons.

Red Robin sighed. “I’ll go get the broom.”

She groaned. “Don’t. I’m here for work.” She procured a file from her leather jacket and held it out for Hood to grab. “There you go.”

“You’re early. You’re never early.”

“I need quick money, so: 90% of the dirty cops in Gotham and picture proof that they’re dirty.”

“Only 90%?” Asked Red Hood as he took it and, though she couldn’t see his face behind that dumb helmet (because it was a helmet, not a hood), she knew he was pissed.

She shrugged. “Of course. Some of them are my informants, I’m not turning them in for anything. A few of the others are there to keep them from garnering too much suspicion.”

“That wasn’t the deal.”

“It was. You should have read the contract better,” she said. He grumbled a little but nodded and opened the files. She leaned over to point at the different tabs. “It’s organized by who they work for -- if anyone, some of them are just assholes. If they work for more than one person I put them in the ‘Combos ⭐’ section. There was --.”

“Wait, how did you say that out loud?” Asked Red Robin.

“I speak every language. That includes emojis.”

“... bullshit.”

She giggled. “Yeah, obviously, but how funny would that be?”

Red Hood cleared his throat awkwardly.

She rolled her eyes, still smiling a little. “Sorry, were you feeling left out?” She searched her brain for where her thought process had been heading… oh, right: “There was a guy that managed to work for every major Rogue. It was insane. He’s the last paper in the document in case you wanted to give him ‘special treatment’.”

Then, she slipped past them and headed towards the kitchen. “I’m stealing some wine, by the way.”

“Why?” Asked Red Robin exasperatedly.

“Got a long job coming up and I need a drink. This is closest,” she said cheerfully.

Her mask was off in seconds, hanging from a small hook on her belt. As usual, Red Robin pointed his glove at her and started typing, trying to figure out her identity with facial recognition software, but he ended up empty-handed (also as usual). She snickered at the way the lenses of his domino narrowed in annoyance.

She grabbed a random glass from the sink and poured herself some… then, because he needed to loosen up, offered Red Robin a drink, too.

He didn’t take it.

She rolled her eyes and downed his drink so it wouldn’t go to waste.

“It’s not poisoned,” she muttered irritably. “I’m not that bad.”

“You profit off of getting people killed.”

“They’d get killed anyway. I’m making sure there’s as few kids involved as possible.”

He rolled his eyes. “You do it to get paid.”

She shrugged a little and looked at the ground. “I don’t really have any other options for jobs.”

He started to nod his understanding, then stopped suddenly with a sour expression. “You’re grifting, aren’t you?”

“... maybe.” Her previously somber expression morphed into a playful grin. “Just be glad it isn’t the two minutes of eye contact I have to do sometimes.”

His nose scrunched. “Two minutes? Isn’t that uncomfortable?”

“Very. But it induces feelings similar to love, so…”

“Hm. Remind me to never look you in the eyes again.”

“It’s a deal.”

“... is this grifting, too?”

“No. Getting you to accept what I’m doing as okay means I might get a new customer, but you coming to like me as a person? What do I get from that? Nothing.” Then, she smirked. “But I’m glad you think I’m that charming.”

He scoffed. “Shut up. Take your wine and go. I’ll make sure my brother pays you.”

“Thank god. I hate it here, Hood’s houses always smell like cigarettes.”

“Right?” He said with a grin. “Wish he’d stop. It’s really inconvenient for me.”

“Totally. Who cares about him and his health?”

“Oh, yeah, that’s whatever. His lungs are his lungs. But what about mine?” He joked.

She opened her mouth but then Red Hood yelled: “I'M STILL HERE, Y’KNOW.”

They exchanged grins for a moment. Then, she cleared her throat and he looked away.

She sat on the windowsill and pulled her mask on. “See ya.”

“Yeah, yeah. See you later, unfortunately.”

She rolled her eyes and dropped out the third-story window with the two glasses and the bottle of wine.

She tossed the glass she had drunk from into an alley a mile away where it could join all the other glass shards and then turned the other one in gloved fingers. She watched the untouched wine swirl thoughtfully. This one had yet to be washed, she could see the last person’s lip prints on the rim.

She poured the wine out into the grass nearby (she had a full bottle of the stuff still, it wouldn’t be missed).

She’d send the glass full of DNA to one of her people at the GCPD. She doubted it would be all that useful, but it was worth a try. It would certainly save a lot of work if it somehow gave her Red Hood’s civilian identity.

~

Not enough. She glared at her bank account. It was enough for her to live... but in order to maintain her usual properties and charity donations so she wouldn’t raise suspicion...

She sighed. Time for the last resort.

She poked her mask-covered face through the Arkham doors. “Can I see Riddler and Scarecrow?”

The woman at the front -- Layla, she remembered -- gave a strained smile. “Of course. But, first, please leave all forbidden items in this bin before stepping into the facility.”

She sighed and started dropping everything into the bin. Nine knives, a tiny pistol, her twin karambit… she even coughed up her lockpicks as a show of good faith.

The woman started to move the bin away but she stopped her.

“Ma’am, I hope I don’t have to tell you not to run away with my things…”

Layla’s face paled a little and she nodded. “Of course, Miss Canary.”

She grinned under her mask and headed through to the cafeteria to meet up with her… friends? Mentors? Weird parental figures? She didn’t know.

She was provided orange juice and she lifted her mask up to drink from it. She sipped at it to soothe her throat -- coughing things up hurts, damn it -- as she waited for them to show up, legs crossed criss-cross applesauce.

Then she saw Jonathan Crane’s face in the door. When he saw her, he beamed.

“What letter am I on?”

“L.”

“Lily!”

“Nope.”

“Ah, yeah, I’m pretty sure I’ve actually tried that before…”

“You have.”

He huffed a little but it clearly didn’t bother him that much. He still had that little bounce in his step as he crossed over to her. “Thought you weren’t coming this week.”

“I wasn’t going to but then I missed you guys,” she said cheerfully.

Edward Nygma had chosen that exact moment to walk into the room. He paused a little, then rolled his eyes. “What do you want?”

She pouted. “I can’t just come see my dads?”

“Dads?” Said Jonathan cheerfully.

“Dads?” Said Edward skeptically. “You definitely want something.”

They sat across from her and smiled as drinks were set in front of them.

Jonathan sighed when he took a sip of his. “Darn. I hate it when Poison Ivy is here.”

“Not freshly squeezed?” Asked Edward with a frown.

The two who had already tried it shook their heads.

“Then what’s the point of drinking it?” He complained, pushing his cup away.

Marinette pulled the drink to herself before the staff could take it. “Thirsty. Anyways, I need something.”

Jonathan looked a little put out. Edward was a weird mix of pleased and disappointed to be right.

Still, he continued on like the disappointment wasn’t written plainly across his face: “Obviously. You called us dad. You only do that when you want things.”

“It works,” she said with a shrug.

“It wont keep working for long, because…” Edward looked at her expectantly.

She rolled her eyes. “Habituation.”

“Correct!”

“Wow, can’t believe you managed to get a Psych 101 question correct. I’d give you a gold star if I had one,” said Jonathan sarcastically as he set his drink down.

“I appreciate the thought. I’ll have to settle for... oh, say, one million in cash?”

Jonathan choked. “What the heck, Nathalie?”

She giggled a little. “That actually was one of my old pseuds.”

Jonathan brightened at the fact that he finally guessed something right.

“But she died, so.”

He huffed.

She started to laugh but that quickly devolved into coughing into her hand. She saw Jonathan sit up a little in alarm but she got over it quickly. “Good, I’m better, I’m good,” she said hoarsely. She held up a finger and started on what had used to be Edward’s drink. She didn’t speak again until she had downed it: “Sorry, my throat hurts.”

Edward nodded shortly. “Yes. I understand. Now, for the million…”

“Yeah, I know, it’s a lot. But… I can make it worth your while.”

She turned the hand that she had been coughing into only a moment before to show them the seed she had coughed up. It really was convenient that Poison Ivy was in Arkham with them, even if the orange juice wasn’t all that great.

~~~

ArkhamStaffHateClub: and, in today’s news, the day canary is spotted walking into arkham is the same day there was a breakout

TheBetterCanary: i have no clue why they even let me in anymore

Gothamlite: @/GCPDNews @/Batman7 @/Oracle @/Yummmmmm

TheBetterCanary: hey youre nineteen right

Gothamlite: Yes?

TheBetterCanary: fair game

~~~~~

Next

Perma taglist: @nathleigh @peachmuses

Canary taglist: @jayjayspixiepop @unoriginalmess @miraculousfanfic127 @probably-a-hologram

[calzona-ga]

In her unauthorized book, Lynette Rice explores the stories behind some of the ABC drama's biggest moments, including — in this exclusive excerpt — the factors that led to McDreamy's shocking death.

In How to Save a Life: The Inside Story of Grey’s Anatomy, author Lynette Rice recounts the ABC medical drama’s eventful 16-year history, revealing new details behind some of the show’s biggest departures. Included in the unauthorized, 320-page oral history (St. Martin’s Press, Sept. 21, $29.99) is a chapter that offers new insight into leading man Patrick Dempsey’s shocking exit in season 11 of the Shonda Rhimes-created drama. In the chapter, Rice speaks with Dempsey’s co-stars and exec producers who were present during filming of his final days on Grey’s Anatomy, and reveals claims of “HR issues” that contributed to the death of his alter-ego, Derek “McDreamy” Shepherd.

“There were HR issues. It wasn’t sexual in any way. He sort of was terrorizing the set. Some cast members had all sorts of PTSD with him,” recalls exec producer James D. Parriott, who was brought back to the series to oversee Dempsey’s exit.

In more than 80 interviews with current and former cast- and crewmembers, Rice, an editor-at-large at Entertainment Weekly, also explores the show’s early days, recounts the thinking behind some of its more polarizing storylines and offers exclusive details about the show’s behind-the-scenes culture.

“After 17 seasons, fans still can’t get enough of Grey’s Anatomy,” Rice tells THR. But what went down behind the scenes was just as dramatic as what viewers saw every Thursday. I’m excited for fans to read what I learned about those early days, along with what it was like to work for Shonda Rhimes, and why the drama was so freakin’ headline-prone.”

Below, The Hollywood Reporter shares an excerpt — the full eighth chapter — from How to Save a Life, and tune in Friday to TV’s Top 5 for an interview with Rice about her book and the other big reveals she uncovered in her reporting for it.

(Reps for ABC, ABC Signature, Shondaland, and Dempsey declined comment on the reveals in Rice’s book.)

“He’s Very Dreamy, but He’s Not the Sun,” Or, How Grey’s Anatomy Loved — Then Learned to Live Without — Patrick Dempsey Ellen Pompeo may have played the titular role, but for many fans over many years, Patrick Dempsey was the real draw to Grey’s Anatomy. Some of it had to do with his celebrity: Dempsey was the most famous member of the original cast at the time of the pilot and brought with him quite a cult following from his 1987 movie Can’t Buy Me Love. But a lot of it was due to the way Rhimes wrote her McDreamy and how Dempsey depicted him. James D. Parriott I would say, “The guy would never say that,” and Shonda would say, “He’s McDreamy. He’s the perfect man. He would say that.” I’d say, “Okay. It’s your show.” Eric Buchman Shonda had a very clear idea of how important it was to keep Derek as this almost idealized love interest, not just for Meredith but for the audience. Naturally, the writers—especially writers who had been working on one-hour dramas for a while—were like, “Well, maybe have McDreamy make a big mistake in surgery and kill somebody. Or he develops an addiction of some kind. What is his deep, dark secret?” Shonda was very insistent: that’s not the character we do that with. Even when you find out he’s married, that was done in a very sympathetic way that kept him being a hero. He was wronged by his spouse and in spite of it all he was still gonna give his marriage a second chance. Stacy McKee Shonda was protective of McDreamy, but it was really with an eye toward being protective of Meredith. I don’t think the two were separate from one another. I don’t think she wanted to put something out there that maybe on the surface might seem a little frivolous. At its core, there was something really substantial that she wanted to say. She wanted to be very specific about the type of relationship values that she put out there. Tony Phelan I was in editing with Shonda once, and it was the scene where Meredith and Derek had broken up. He comes over and she’s like, “I can’t remember the last time we kissed.” And he says, “I remember. You were wearing this and you smelled of this …”

Joan Rater “Your shampoo smelled like flowers, you had that sweater on …” He described their last kiss. Tony Phelan Typically in editing you start on Derek, then you cut to Meredith for a reaction, and then you’ll go back to him. I noticed that we weren’t ever cutting back to Meredith. I asked why. Shonda said, “Because the woman in Iowa who’s watching this show wants to believe that Patrick is talking to her, and if you cut back to Meredith, it pushes them out of it.” In those special moments, we would just lock into Derek and let him do his thing. Joan Rater And he was a master at it. Patrick Dempsey He’s the ideal man, and that’s what Shonda constructed. There’s a projection [of him] onto me when you come in contact with fans, certainly with the younger and older fans. There is a certain amount of expectation. There is a responsibility to it. It made me grow, too. There were good qualities [of his] that you work on to obtain. Off camera, Dempsey was equally as charismatic to his fellow actors, crew members, and anyone who would come to visit the set. Lauren Stamile I was going in to meet him, and I remember I had this little cardigan sweater on and I took it off before I got into the room. Dempsey is one of those people—it’s almost like there’s a light shining around his body, and you feel like you’re the only person in the room. I got so hot and I remember saying, “Gosh, I would take off my sweater if I had one on because I’m so hot, but I took it off.” I was just babbling. He said, “You look nice,” and I said, “You look nicer.” I felt so awkward and he was so gracious and lovely. I was having a nervous breakdown. It’s like this “it” factor. I was like, God, whatever he has, I wish I had. I think it was very obvious how nervous I was, and he went out of his way to make sure he introduced me to everybody and made sure I felt comfortable, which he certainly didn’t have to do. But he did. Joan Rater He knew I had a giant crush on him, and he loved it. And when we’d go to table reads—I was an actress at one point in my life—they would always give me Meredith if Ellen wasn’t there. And I’d be getting my chicken tenders at craft services before the table read and he’d come up behind me and say, “Are you reading Meredith?” in my ear, like, so sexy. I’d be like, Oh my God. I mean, I could barely … I could not look at him. Tina Majorino I worked with Patrick a ton. I love him so much. We had a really great time working together. I think he’s such a great actor and he really made me laugh a lot. I feel like we had a good dynamic in scenes together, and it was always fun to play opposite him. Yes, he’s that charismatic in real life. Yes, his hair is that awesome. Yes, he is dreamy up close.

Chandra Wilson Patrick Dempsey will forever be known as Grey’s Anatomy’s McDreamy. Derek Shepherd is a permanent part of television history.

Norman Leavitt He is a big, personable guy.

Jeannine Renshaw We all love Patrick. Patrick is a sweetheart. If I saw him on the street, I’d give him a hug. I love the guy.

Mark Wilding I’ve always had a soft spot for Patrick. He really does try to do the right thing. Brooke Smith, who played Dr. Erica Hahn, remembers how Dempsey defended her when the decision was made to fire her from the show in 2008. Brooke Smith I remember calling him and saying, “Oh my God, they said they can’t write for me anymore, so I guess I’m leaving.” And he was like, “What are you talking about? You’re the only one they’re writing for.” Which at that time, it kind of did feel that way. But I guess someone didn’t like that. They gave me a statement [to release, about her departure] and I never said it. Patrick said that he actually took it out of his jacket on The Ellen DeGeneres Show and read the statement. He won’t let me forget it. He was like, “I defended you, see?” And it was true.

By season eleven, however, fans saw a disturbing break in MerDer’s once unbreakable bond. Six episodes had gone by without a peep from Derek, who was supposedly in Washington, D.C., where he had apparently made out with a research fellow. Fans began threatening to bolt if their hero didn’t return soon to Seattle. “I have never missed one episode,” wrote a fan on Dempsey’s Facebook page. “But I swear if [Rhimes] kills you off I’m done.” But there was a critical reason for Derek’s strange absence: behind the scenes, there was talk of Dempsey’s diva-like fits and tension between him and Pompeo. To help manage the explosive situation, executive producer James D. Parriott was brought back in to serve as a veritable Dempsey whisperer.

Patrick Dempsey [That] was the first year that I haven’t been in every episode. I [was] in every episode since the pilot— close to 250 episodes. That [was a] huge run. James D. Parriott Shonda needed an OG to come in as sort of a showrunner for fourteen episodes. There were HR issues. It wasn’t sexual in any way. He sort of was terrorizing the set. Some cast members had all sorts of PTSD with him. He had this hold on the set where he knew he could stop production and scare people. The network and studio came down and we had sessions with them. I think he was just done with the show. He didn’t like the inconvenience of coming in every day and working. He and Shonda were at each other’s throats.

Jeannine Renshaw There were times where Ellen was frustrated with Patrick and she would get angry that he wasn’t working as much. She was very big on having things be fair. She just didn’t like that Patrick would complain that “I’m here too late” or “I’ve been here too long” when she had twice as many scenes in the episode as he did. When I brought it up to Patrick, I would say, “Look around you. These people have been here since six thirty a.m.” He would go, “Oh, yeah.” He would get it. It’s just that actors tend to see things from their own perspective. He’s like a kid. He’s so high energy and would go, “What’s happening next?” He literally goes out of his skin, sitting and waiting. He wants to be out driving his race car or doing something fun. He’s the kid in class who wants to go to recess.

Patrick Dempsey It’s ten months, fifteen hours a day. You never know your schedule, so your kid asks you, “What are you doing on Monday?” And you go, “I don’t know,” because I don’t know my schedule. Doing that for eleven years is challenging. But you have to be grateful, because you’re well compensated, so you can’t really complain because you don’t really have a right. You don’t have control over your schedule. So, you have to just be flexible.

Longtime Crew Member Poor Patrick. I’m not defending his schtick. I like him, but he was the Lone Ranger. All of these actresses were getting all this power. All the rogue actresses would go running to Shonda and say, “Hey, Patrick’s doing this. Patrick’s late for work. He’s a nightmare.” He was just shut out in the cold. His behavior wasn’t the greatest, but he had nowhere to go. He was so miserable. He had no one to talk to. When Sandra left, I remember him telling me, “I should’ve left then, but I stayed on because they showed me all this money. They just were dumping money on me.”

Patrick Dempsey It [was] hard to say no to that kind of money. How do you say no to that? It’s remarkable to be a working actor, and then on top of that to be on a show that’s visible. And then on top of that to be on a phenomenal show that’s known around the world, and play a character who is beloved around the world. It’s very heady. It [was] a lot to process, and not wanting to let that go, because you never know whether you will work again and have success again.

Jeannine Renshaw A lot of the complaining … I think Shonda finally witnessed it herself, and that was the final straw. Shonda had to say to the network, “If he doesn’t go, I go.” Nobody wanted him to leave, because he was the show. Him and Ellen. Patrick is a sweetheart. It messes you up, this business.

James D. Parriott I vaguely recall something like that, but I can’t be sure. It would have happened right toward the end, because I know they were negotiating and negotiating, trying to figure out what to do. We had three different scenarios that we actually had to break because we didn’t know until I think about three days before he came back to set which one we were going to go with. We didn’t know if he was going to be able to negotiate his way out of it. We had a whole story line where we were going to keep him in Washington, D.C., so we could separate him from the rest of the show. He would not have to work with Ellen again. Then we had the one where he comes back, doesn’t die, and we figure out what Derek’s relationship with Meredith would be. Then there was the one we did. It was kind of crazy. We didn’t know if he was going to be able to negotiate his way out of it. It was ultimately decided that just bringing him back was going to be too hard on the other actors. The studio just said it was going to be more trouble than it was worth and decided to move on.

Stacy McKee I don’t think there was any way to exit him without him dying. He and Meredith were such an incredibly bonded couple at that point. It would be completely out of character if he left his kids. There was no exit that would honor that character other than if he were to die. Patrick Dempsey I don’t remember the date [I got the news]. It was not in the fall. Maybe February or March. It was just a natural progression. And the way everything was unfolding in a very organic way, it was like, “Okay! This is obviously the right time.” Things happened very quickly. We were like, “Oh, this is where it’s going to go.”

So that was that: McDreamy would die in episode twenty-one of season eleven, even though Dempsey was in year one of his recently signed two-year contract extension. Rhimes wrote a script that was befitting of her lead’s heroic persona: she began “How to Save a Life” by having Derek witness a car crash and helping the injured. Once it appeared everyone was out of harm’s way, Derek continues on his road trip but is suddenly broadsided by a truck.

Rob Hardy (Director) The paramedics leave. He’s there by himself. He’s having a moment. The nice music is playing, and all of a sudden, bang. It comes out of nowhere, which, you know, is how accidents happen. So as opposed to watching it as a viewer, we saw the accident happen through Derek’s perspective. Derek ends up at Dillard Medical Center, a hospital far from Grey Sloan and the talented doctors who work there. His eyes are open, but his brain is severely damaged. No one hears his plea for a CT scan; he can’t speak. To help keep the episode a secret, the scenes were shot in an abandoned hospital in Hawthorne, California, about twenty-two miles from the show’s home studio in Los Feliz.

Mimi Melgaard It was really hard on all of us because it was so secretive and we had so many different locations. We shot at this closed-down hospital that was absolutely creepy haunted. All the scenes there were so sad anyway, and in this yucky-feeling haunted hospital? It was really weird. His whole last episode was really tough. Patrick Dempsey It was like any other day. It was just another workday. There was still too much going on. You’re in the midst of it—you’re not really processing it. Rob Hardy Here’s a guy who’s immobile. Now you’re inside of his head. We were trying to make that feel scary from the perspective of a person who’s used to being in control, from a person who usually has the power of life and death in his own hands. But now he doesn’t have the ability to speak on his own behalf.

Samantha Sloyan When I went to audition, I didn’t recognize any of these doctors’ names. I assumed they were just dummy sides so people wouldn’t ruin the story line or anything like that. All we knew is that we were dealing with a man who’s been in a car accident. I had no idea that it was going to be Derek. I just figured I was going to be a guest doctor and that whoever this person was who was injured, was going to be just a character on the show. Once it became clear what we were working on, I was like, Oh, my gosh. I can’t believe this is the episode I’m on.

Mike McColl (Dr. Paul Castello) I signed an NDA before they would release the script to me. I was reading it in my house, and I was like, “Oh, my God.” I didn’t tell anyone, including my agents. I just said, “This is a really great booking. It’s a great role on Grey’s.” And they didn’t know anything until it aired.

Savannah Paige Rae (Winnie) The first scene I shot was actually the sentimental scene when I’m saying, “It’s a beautiful day to save lives, right?” I’m in the hospital room with Derek and talking to him. Even though I never watched the show, I recognized the value of the episode I was in and just really took it to heart. It was so special that I got to be a part of it.

Rob Hardy [Patrick] had a lot of emotions during the whole shoot, which evolved. I think when we first started, he was very calm and cool … the same Patrick that I remembered when I worked on the show a year or so before. With each passing day, he was a lot more emotional. A lot more was on his mind, and that would show itself in different ways. The finality of the episode and for his character was setting in. You’ve become a global icon on this show and then in five, four, three, two, a day … it’s over.

James D. Parriott Patrick was very cooperative and good.

Mike McColl When I met Patrick, he’s lying on a stretcher and we’re rushing him into the ER. I just introduced myself, shook his hand, and was like, “Man, I cannot tell you what an honor it is to be the guy to take you down.” He loved it. He could not have been nicer to me and was funny through the whole shoot. He was on the table in front of me there when I cut his chest open and all that stuff. He gave me a hug at the end. It was a real privilege to be a part of TV history in that way.

Samantha Sloyan I remember him being incredibly kind. They had his neck in a brace, and he’s strapped down to the board, so there wasn’t a ton of chatting. I remember him being really kind, but it was clearly intense for him.

Stacy McKee It was such a beautiful piece of storytelling. I knew this event was going to be a really sad, horrible event for Meredith, but I also knew it was going to be the beginning of such an incredible chapter for Meredith.

Dempsey completed his final hours of shooting on a rainy night. There was no goodbye party, no goodbye cake. Maybe that’s because some cast members were left out of the loop. James Pickens, Jr., told ABC News that the cast “didn’t know a whole lot. It was kind of on the fly. So whatever information we got, we pretty much got it kind of right before it happened.”

Caterina Scorsone (Dr. Amelia Shepherd) I didn’t get to say goodbye to Patrick when he left. I do think that helped, because I’ve been using the character of Derek in my internal landscape since Private Practice. Derek was the stability in Amelia’s life. He became a father figure after they watched robbers shoot their father. When he was suddenly gone from the show, we didn’t have that closure, so I got to play it out. She’s about to use drugs again before Owen confronts her in a way that she finally talks about her feelings about losing Derek. She doesn’t end up using.

James D. Parriott The day he left, that was my last day. There was a certain sadness to it, but I think he was relieved. I mean, I think it took a toll on him, too.

Rob Hardy I didn’t see other actors showing up and saying, “Hey, it’s the last day! Wanted to come and wish you well.” I didn’t get that. It was more the Patrick show. We were in the Patrick world, and then Ellen came, and there was definitely a lot of emotion that both of them had individually … not necessarily together. It was more so her being there on the day that he died. He had his own way of being with that, and the same thing with her. It was like two people who grew up together and … here we are. They had their own way of reflecting.

Patrick Dempsey I very quietly left. It was beautiful. It was raining, which was really touching. I got in my Panamera, got in rush-hour traffic, and two hours later I was home. Big news like this doesn’t stay quiet for long. Both Michael Ausiello—who left EW in 2010 to launch the news site TVLine—and Lesley Goldberg of The Hollywood Reporter learned two weeks prior to Dempsey’s final episode that he would be leaving the show. No reporter worth their salt wants to sit on a scoop—least of all one as huge as this—but Ausiello and Goldberg didn’t want to spoil the outcome for fans, so they agreed to hold the story until after the episode aired. I eventually found out, too, but in the nuttiest way imaginable: I was standing on the set of CSI: Cyber, watching Patricia Arquette talk about some droll techno-criminal. Unfortunately, the publicist also cc’d Dempsey’s manager and ABC publicist while trying to give me a major story, so I couldn’t immediately report the scoop. But I did use the information to successfully negotiate the one and only exit interview with Dempsey. Two weeks before his final episode, I met him and his publicist at Feed Body & Soul in Venice, California, for a story that would hit newsstands on April 24. He seemed a little shell-shocked and at one point choked up, but at the time he said nothing about how his on-set behavior may have contributed to his ouster. My editor, Henry Goldblatt, wanted to put him on the cover of Entertainment Weekly, but he couldn’t guarantee to ABC that no one would see it before the episode aired. Good thing we didn’t: some subscribers got the issue on the morning of Dempsey’s final episode— and one actually tweeted the story. Our PR department tried to get the tweets removed, but the cat was out of the bag: some fans found out early that McDreamy was about to be McHistory. Outlets like Variety reported how the story got out early, while our PR department released this statement: “We are surprised that an EW subscriber may have received their issue a day earlier than planned. We always try our best to bring readers exclusive news first. We would like to apologize to fans of the show that learned the news ahead of time.” Dempsey’s final episode was watched by 8.83 million viewers—the show’s largest audience since the premiere that season. Variety even pontificated whether the ratings boost was due to my exclusive with Dempsey.

Lesley Goldberg (The Hollywood Reporter) I’m used to working with networks to hold news as part of their efforts to guard against plot spoilers. But the way Patrick Dempsey’s exit was handled involved a layer of paranoia and secrecy that has been unlike anything I’ve seen in my reporting career. News that he was leaving, and his character being killed off, would have been a major story considering how big the show is domestically and internationally. However, it also would have meant spoiling the episode and, more important, damaging key relationships I’ve worked hard to build. At some point, publishing the news of Dempsey’s exit before the episode aired became an ethical question of what was more important—a big story and its subsequent traffic, which would have come no matter what, or the relationships and trust that it took years to craft. Ultimately, I still published early because EW subscribers received the issue with Lynette’s Dempsey interview before the episode aired.

Mike McColl The morning after Derek’s last episode aired, my daughter sent me a link that was on YouTube or Facebook or something. I actually pulled it up to look at it, and it was a Grey’s Anatomy showbiz cheat sheet. It asked the question “Who is the attending doctor who killed Derek ‘McDreamy’ Shepherd?” It included a photo that I posted from the set. I had on a bloody rubber glove and was in my scrubs and mask. I never obviously would have posted this before it aired. I posted it well after the episode aired, and I [captioned it] “McDeadly.” This writer said something like, “Kill McDeadly.” Maybe that’s why the producer didn’t choose a big-name actor to be the one who killed our beloved McDreamy! I want to be ultrasensitive to these hard-core fans because it means so much to them, and I certainly didn’t mean in that case to make light of it. It’s just, I’m an actor, and I recognize it for what it is. Is everybody clear on the fact that this is just pretend and Patrick knew he was going to be leaving the show? It was just like, “God. He’s okay. He really is okay.”

Peter Horton Derek was going to be there forever with Meredith because you went through a whole journey with them. That was incredibly fulfilling. So even if he’s not there, he’s there. I don’t think any of us really worried about that going away because by then you were so invested in it. The show can last as it has for years.

Patrick Dempsey Lots of people [miss him]. “It’s good to see you alive” is the comment I get. I’m like, “Yes, I’m very much alive in reruns.” People were really invested in that relationship. I knew it would be heavy. Very happy to have moved on with a different chapter in my life.

Samantha Sloyan The montage just killed me, when Meredith says, “It’s okay, you can go.” God, I’m getting choked up just thinking about it. The chemistry they have as a pair and the way they were able to build that and sustain it! So many of these relationships are, like, “Will they, won’t they,” and then it wears thin. They sustained it for the duration of their relationship on the show, and it’s just, I think, a testament to what those two created. It was just unbelievable.

Pompeo addressed Dempsey’s departure with a tweet that focused solely on his character, not on how she spent eleven years working side by side with him: “There are so many people out there who have suffered tremendous loss and tragedy. Husbands and wives of soldiers, victims of senseless violence, and parents who have lost children. People who get up every day and do what feels like is the impossible. So it is for these people and in the spirit of resilance [sic] I am honored and excited to tell the story of how Meredith goes on in the face of what feels like the impossible.” Meanwhile, fans futilely created a Change.org petition to reinstate McDempsey, while other, more desperate ones simply tweeted “We Hate You” to Rhimes.

Shonda Rhimes Derek Shepherd is and will always be an incredibly important character—for Meredith, for me, and for the fans. I absolutely never imagined saying goodbye to our McDreamy. Patrick Dempsey’s performance shaped Derek in a way that I know we both hope became a meaningful example— happy, sad, romantic, painful, and always true—of what young women should demand from modern love. His loss will be felt by all.

Talk about the mother (father?) of all postscripts: In November of 2020 Dempsey reprised his role as McDreamy in the season opener—but only in Meredith’s dreams. Stricken with COVID-19, an unconscious Meredith “imagined” reuniting with her husband on the beach. After talking exclusively to Deadline and saying how it was “really a very healing process, and really rewarding,” Dempsey would return for more beach-based episodes that would ultimately stand out as the best moments of season seventeen. “It was a second chance thing,” one ABC executive told me at the time. “Shonda likes a comeback. Also, they wanted him in their last season.”