#okay brain thanks i guess
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had a dream last night that as part of the disney vs desantis showdown, disney started making ALL their characters gay, and the entire disney channel catalogue devolved into tween and teen stars frantically coming out in a never-ending stream of gay confessions and Very Special Episodes...
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WATCHED C3e99 DOWNFALL PART 1 AND UHHH I HAVENT DRAWN FAN ART IN YEARS BUT THE MUSE REALLY SPOKE TO ME THIS TIME
Step 2 figure out how the Emissary actually looks
#I VOTE WE JUST CALL HIM APPLES#my sibling and I were watching together and I was like noshir STILL hasn't come in yet I bet he's in the fucking crate#and then#Apples <3#BE APPLES#I've solely been referring to the emissary as Apples in all of our conversations okay I love him#im big in love with Asha tho I am very excited to see what the rest of downfall brings us#I feel like my brain was going 7000 mph the whole episode trying to remember every scrap of lore I could remember#idk maybe more art to come I guess???#everyone thank my good buddy P who can not see this post as it will be spoiler tagged for them but they somehow unlocked my art block#by introducing a What If Ashton Draws As A Coping Mechanism AU and I went slightly feral over it <33#critical role#exu downfall#critical role campaign 3#god my tagging system has gone to shit there is so much goin on#bells hells#it's not BH but that's what all the rest of the C3 stuff is tagged with so im just gonna do that for my own searching purposes I guess#sams art#cr downfall
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Popping in because i want all of you to know that my most effective coping method recently has been that whenever i start spiraling i send a meme to my best friend about how much i love them and both the 1) reminder of how great they are and how lucky i am to have them in my life and 2) the time it takes to find a sufficient meme almost always manages to pull me out of it so highly recommend
#have i mentioned that i love my best friend because i DOOOOO#also sometimes they send me one back :)#it’s currently the most effective thing at making me feel okay again :)#idk maybe it’s kind of simple or obvious#but i just never thought to or had the will to replace the panic and depression with love🤷♀️#but like my best friend is GREAT and i’d so much rather think about that and appreciate that over all of the other noise#just like i finally feel like my brain has a safe spot again and i am so very thankful for it because i was going crazy#life’s just been so difficult recently and im appreciating the little bright spots more than ever i guess#and also my best friend is great and i love them and they are so so SO important to me :) <3!!!!#and i HAD to share that#very important to be crazy about your friends i think😤😤
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Daughter is such an amazing trio. Their songs are incredibly well done and with so much passion in them, and I wish I could express how I feel about them properly.
The lyrics of this song fit B2 and Hunter so well it's not even funny. Currently making up scenarios in my head (and sobbing /vpos)
#FERN YOU KNOW DAUGHTER?????? I HOPE YOU KNOW IM SOBBINB NOW OKAY. IM SOBBING AND LOOKING AT THIS DRAWING OKAY; IM SOBBIN#BRAINS COMING UP WITH SAD SCENARIOS. IN MY BIRTHDAY /VPOS (THANK YOU)#not recovering from this.#what a wonderful song#im gonna sit on the corner and daydream bye#their hands surrounding the Holloway Comet symbol......... oh boy.....#they're doomed by the narrative. guess they need an au were they get married and live happy ever after#fusionsprunt#fusionsprunt b2#fusionsprunt hunter
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#okay sorry for venting but i’ve been processing that session for months#like im the one who fucked up that session because i couldnt make myself say anything and actually naming any problem i have#felt like im begging to have a bunch of excuses#and god that paychologist really made me feel like i imagined all of that for attention and now im back here again and im once again#realizing my brain is just fucked up and what do i do now because if i went to a session now#i would be in the same situation where i can’t say anything that actually bothers me#so i guess im in deep shit forever or at least until i stop having some fucking mental block or whatever#im just fucking tired bro…….#she told me everyone is a little bit autsitic and that’s it WHAT#bro if i had little enough symptoms of whatever that i could do stuff by myself anyway i wouldnt fucking be ghere paying 200zł for the most#ruining hours of my life thank you so much.#instead i have to use everyone in my life as a crutch because i literally just can’t function without help IUOUOUGHHH#god im so sorry okay im gone im just really going through it rn#vent
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for @loveotomization and the art trade prompt silence/kiss/betrayal :3c
#the readmore is just a close up#i'm sorry its not more involved my brain is incapable of focusing on rendering;;;#as usual everyone is welcome to come up with their own context#but *i* was setting this in the quasi-accomplice au i have with my friend in which /#/ akechi takes too long frog boiling his emotionally vulnerable bf into being okay with murder and the power of friendship gets him first#play stupid games win stupid prizes! have you tried not lying your ass off to him all the time!#i am now realizing out of context this just comes off as yusuke femme fataleing it up for fun and profit#which i guess also might as well happen#anyway bri thank youuu for offering art trades i'm always happy for any excuse for more ✨Them✨#persona 5#akekita#auverse#twine au#<- shared au with tumblr user floodbender thanks for all the dev help
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#WOOOOAAHHH THEY'RE TRANSPARENT!! I THOUGHT REGIICE WAS BLUE BUT LIKE#i guess it makes sense that they're actually transparent! 'cuz! they're made of ice! i kinda wish they were blue here since that's like#more iconic and i feel like they'd be more recognizable if they were transparent but i guess this ALSO looks cool#and no‚ the stuff in there is not‚ like. its brain or whatever. it's just FULLY transparent and you can see through to my desktop wallpaper#and that's what's showing through its head. which is like cool but i'm worried makes this guy a little bit less visually distinct#actually yeah it kinda does LEMME redo this one but with a blank background and see if it looks any better#yyyeeeeaaahh okay this helps a bit. more visual clarity. i'll replace it with the one where you Can't see my desktop wallpaper#i might leave that version under the cut actually. but i'd have to add some text to the post which i generally don't like doing. just to#explain what it is. cuz not everyone is gonna read these tags#i'll just. leave it the way it is. in two weeks i'll just hope i remember what wallpaper i had applied when i took the original image#cuz i have it set to change every night through a set list of images that i update whenever i find a new image i like that's roughly#the resolution of my monitor. i dunno if anyone else does this#most irrelevant tags ever#regice#thanks for the catch on the spelling nidoskull
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treasure
#regularly scheduled mdyzs as the chokehold they have on me is . yeah#duck scribbles#doodles#midoyuzu#yuzumido#enstars#ensemble stars#from another drawing session w a friend hi ducky if u see this ily <3#yuzuru fushimi#midori takamine#damn if theres one thing keeping me going lately its fake scenarios and random thoughts abt these two#my mental health has dropped Severely as of late ! god forbid a duck be happy and content i guess#okay now it also just struck me that huh i sure draw them a lot huh#i feel kinda bad but also who cares. i like them a lot and im making that everyone elses problem#though another kinda funny thing to me is that doodling them a lot kinda did make me like my art a bit more. idk makes me happy seeing my#own dumb doodles of them or whatever and im not really in a position to be picky so#thanks for that fictional characters in my brain
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Lone Ranger Gunslinger! Fernando (context)
#this would probably be more fitting for COTA but for ME it is very relevant and important#thank you DC for inciting this from me i guess 😭#the only correct way to draw any Wild West art is to:#listen to Marty Robbins' Gunfighter Ballads and Trail Songs#and cry when El Paso comes on 😭😭😭😭#so yeah if anything is mentioned over the course of a weekend that could be turned into an AU +#be assured that I can and will draw it >:)#if people like this maybe i wil draw some more for cota 🤭 i just wont have a lot of free time around that wknd tho ah#though i will say ive already discussed this possible AU with C a lot already 😭😭😭😭#you already know what ship it would be......hehehe....#anyways if youre ever curious where i get my ref photos. its called i play dress up in my room LMFAO#the outfit ref for this was a banger ngl. maybe ill wear it to school sometime 🤭🤭#its almost kinda a shame hes wearing the coat in this bcs god damn the waist was absolutely snatched!#i love 3 piece suits sob sob sob#okay anyways hopefully fernando will continue to be a sharpshooter this weekend!!!!!#he should shoot for....a podium 🤭🤭🤭 he should shoot for....a win! 😮#oh also i love how both c and i looked at clint eastwood pics as ref for this 😭😭 same brain 😭#if i ever draw more of this au i def gotta draw him with that look!#f1#formula 1#fernando alonso#catie.art.#fa14
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French Jumpscare warning
#hellsing#hellsing ultimate#seras victoria#pip bernadotte#a#vids#biblically accurate pip (French)#thank you cocolacola for supporting the Radiohead seras agenda she’s getting assigned karma police whether it’s actually logical or not#brain’s conflicted because on one hand I need to maintain continuity in how I draw characters but then if I do make changes#does that fuck up the old stuff? idk lolsies#pip seems like the kind of guy who would’ve loved I spy books#(<— ignoring the fact he would not have been a toddler when the first one was released sorry pip guess it sucks to suck)#pip seems like a blur kinda guy. wait shit what’s my silly little French bad uhhhh fuck#Big Soul!!! they’re fun I haven’t listened to them in a while so I don’t feel like a reliable source to be like this fucks or not#the cover for their first album is silly she’s a little insane but that’s okay
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I need someone that can handle my repressed memories lmaooo because tell me why I accidentally got soap in my mouth and then stood there for a hot second because I remembered my mother shoving a soap bar into my mouth and I remember feeling her hand going back and forth with the bar as she held my head down with her other hand and I remembered looking in the mirror telling myself to never forget what she was doing but then I had completely forgotten that until now. I was around 8 years old(im 25 now)
But Like yeah sorry I dissociated for second I promise I'm not a Debbie Downer just like let my brain load back to reality. I'm like super hot super fun or whatever.
#lmaoooo ahhhhhhh its okay yall im also on new meds just let my brain settle#soup brain#mental illness#actually mentally ill#mental health#it tasted very similar to the soap bar so i think thats also why it probably wasnt triggered before#alexa play that one song that goes i can be a good mother#also like thank god i live alone imagine having to explain why i stood there staring in the mirror for a hot second with a blank face#tmi#repressed memories#i guess thats what happens when you start talking about your childhood with your therapist
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oh i have to laugh
#almost 27 years spent without ever having a single sex related dream and the one time it happens there are mirrors everywhere involved. okay#thanks subconscious i guess#and i never remember anything but the brain not this time baby you'll remember everything <3. ���👍#*said
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theres another member of zarbons species in the moro arc of dragon ball super! he transforms into a differentmonster form than zarbon
Yuzun! i know him! or well, i kinda know him. i'm not really caught up or invested in anything Dragon Ball related beyond Buu Saga, but i've learned somewhat about him.
i think he's pretty neat! and i'm really happy they expanded Zarbons race just a little bit with Yuzun. though you hate to hear how he went out... there's no peace for my mans race. i hate this solar system. fuuuck.
#ask#shelbybunny#i like his design :) although its really hard to top zarbon's.............. <- sorry just those combinations of words turned off his brain.#understand okay?#i think his monster form is cool! idk if id be as weird about his monster form as i am with Zarbons :) but i like him#i dont know if Super would have this part in the anime... idk anything about super... but i imagine Yuzun having a surfer dudes voice#kinda like yajirobe's voice yknow#atleast that was always my first impression. though i guess i could see a similar regal voice coming from him#though ogh those wrist bands. i dont think anything for me could top Zarbons arm warmers#Zarbons arm warmers have always stuck out in my brain as like one of my favourite details.#literally would love to have some like... thick pink nylon arm warmers. thats how ive always imagined Zarbons to be#or a fabric similar to nylon. that smooth soft fabric yknow. that good shit.#i think if i wore those my brain would turn off because id be stimming those shits.#anyway :) yuzuns really neat. continuously happy knowing theres more of his race than just Zarbon#fuck frieza girlies. there'd be so much more of Zarbons race if it werent for that bitch bastard.#i'll never get behind the frieza zarbon dynamic. ive always kinda seen zarbon as being afraid of frieza#like its more obvious near his last few episodes in the show but. ugh man.#i believe what zarbon said in his final moments of saying he'd turn to vegetas side and go against frieza.#then that little bitch put a hole in him. horrible horrible. hate on planet namek.#anyway! thank you for the ask :) i appreciate getting to talk about Yuzun a little bit
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therapy is expensive, Ants From Up There by Black Country, New Road is free
#been havin a rough time lately so i put the album on and played guitar through basketball shoes#every time i listen to the album im left with a hollow feeling#the album i guess helps me understand my emotions more even when they're not related to the topics of the album#the album just has a very tight connection to me emotionally and i am so happy i have the album to keep me comfort#about that hollow feeling btw like. idk i think thats my brain being devastated at my life but instead of feeling outright bad its more neu#the word neutral got cut off there#im losing track of my post here#basically i love this album#thank you Isaac Wood. wherever you are today i hope you're doing okay#you helped me get through emotions i never understood#tough times i wasnt strong enough to fight on my own#thank you isaac.#black country new road#bcnr
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hi your writing is so cool and your aesthetic is so pretty i am nervous ksnsmzls you're one of my favorite writers!!
if its not a bother, may i ask how you got the confidence to write? any hints or something? thank you so much for the hard work you put into the blog, remember to stay hydrated and rest
have a nice day or night
AAAAAHHHH🥺🥺🥺 THANK YOU SOSO MUCH FOR THE LOVE MY ANGEL!!!!!!!!!!!! YOUR KIND WORDS ARE SOSO IMPORTANT TO ME SO TRULY THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU<333333
MMMMMMMM it's not so much about confidence for me as it is about Need honestly. i've always been a creative person i just never had the right outlet for it but now that i've discovered writing it just changed my world lmao i know that sounds very dramatic but it really is very important to me to express myself through art and writing is just the perfect way for me to do it. i want to write.
plus i have so many ideas in my head and tbh sometimes it's just about getting them out of there lmao but mm ofc there are times where i feel like my ideas are shit or that the writings are shit but then i think abt how mean that is. i liked writing it didn't i? so why am i putting myself down for it????? i try to be very patient with myself (it's a new thing i'm still getting the hang of it) and i try to just do whatever feels right.
and i know how discouraging tumblr might be sometimes,, like when the things you put hours into, blood sweat and tears and whatsoever, don't get the attention is very upsetting but i just... genuinely try to ignore it. i'm not saying it's easy it really fucking isn't but i just want to be selfish. and i want to write. so i will write more no matter whether it gets the love it deserves or not. i don't wanna stop and i don't wanna quit. think of it as spite if you will lmao like oh you didn't like that? well guess what. here's more>:333333 qhdhshdhsjjsjsj this is how my brain works okay i'm not saying that will work for everybody...
but yeah in the end just do it for yourself. you want to write, so write for yourself. the others are secondary – you have to love it first and then the others get to do the same.
#THANK YOU AGAIN FOR THE LOVE<33333333#it gives me so much strength to know that you're here with me!!!!!#THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!#and i hope this didn't come off too strong in any way#i have a#tendency to do that i guess#to be blunt#but my brain really takes things very literally so more often than not my answers for problems are very straightforward too#but that might not work for everybody sadly#blablabla#i hope you start writing too nonnie#it genuinely has changed my life#it is very freeing#and fun!!!#just try to be patient with yourself okay??!#I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!#friends!!
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ohmygodddddd i am a fucking genius...👁️ the fic idea i just came up with. the Specific Line i thought up. its such a random idea but its so so cute and sweet and ugh its gonna plague me forever. kinda proud of myself to be honest so lets just hope i can Actually write it soon🧎
#mmm brain isnt always bad sometimes i guess.#its some unapologetic jake fluff btw#bc he deserves it#also i forgot i cant really spend time on tumblr today bc ill be busy again lol so tomorrow it is (hopefully)#but its gonna be a good day bc me and my bestie are going to see love lies bleeding And immaculate together😋😋#and probably get some lunch and maybe ice cream too#excited#have been looking forward to today#and then after today im looking forward to finally crawling back into my little tumblr cave#hopefully i can Actually Read.#and yk. writing would be nice too.#also im goin back on sertraline today and apparently it can be used for ocd too so i will try to see if any of That feels different as well#raaaaaa#still havent fully researched ocd tho🧎ive been procrastinating🧎as i do🧎#anyways goodnight its 5am.#shouldnt have had that 8pm iced capp#i downed that shit fr#ok bye bye love yall#talkin shit#FUCK YES THIS POSTED LIKE ON THE VERY SECOND 5:15 WAS ENDING YESSS#sorry i actually like am distressed when the minute(s) of my posts arent posted on a 0 or 5 or like the same as the previous number#and when it is i feel like actual relief and joy#and when it isnt i contemplate deleting and waiting until the desired minute to post again.#anddd sometimes i actually do.#i also will just wait several minutes to post something when its not the exact minute i want yet#or ill queue it for like. literally a couple minutes in the future.#yeah i have many issues#okay gn thank you for reading if you read🧍🫶#i always either suck my own dick or beat my own ass.#rarely ever is there an in between
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