#okay I'm just obsessed with the number 9

[gottestod-writes]

somebody stop me, I'm about to reinvent the week (world building), and that's really not useful for anything!

[madschiavelique]

A Crown Of Ink : Chapter 9 - Death

summary : maybe it is time for reader to move on from patterns that are now useless and reconsider things

content warnings : some angst, then some comfort, then more angst, then more comfort, some crude language an mentions of harassment

word count : 6.1k

author's note : okay i think i might write my old bg3 requests still sitting in my inbox after this but!!!! im excited to write the next chap

proofread by the lovely @yaffles-world <3

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You had spent your Saturday recovering, not without frustration. It was a waste of time, you thought. You could have taken advantage of a day without any classes or work like that to study and make more progress, but Selene had come to visit you, worried.

She officially met Sky, who had always admired her since her first lessons with her. Selene had come to your bedside, placing a gentle hand on your forehead for a moment, then letting it slide down to your warm cheek. She sighed, familiar with your overworking habits.

She asked Sky about your night, about the prescribed treatment, and Selene couldn't help but exchange a knowing glance with you when Viktor was mentioned, especially for such chivalrous deeds. She smiled a playful ‘see, I told you so’ which made you pull your cover over your head in annoyance.

When she left, Sky came back to you, bringing you a chicken broth to restore your health, which she hoped you'd consume to the last drop.

"I'm sorry it had to come to this and calling them, calling him. But..." She sighed, watching you finally eat something with relief. "You were working yourself to death, and with such a pace, you probably wouldn't have been able to pass the exams at all if you'd kept going."

You swallowed your mouthful with difficulty, a small knot of shame and regret tightening it. You'd been so obsessed, so fixated on outdoing yourself and winning back your number one spot from Viktor that you'd become nothing more than an information-gobbling machine.

You didn't even need it, you'd just decided to get ahead on the next year's syllabus in the hope of impressing in the papers and showing your dedication. How could you be so stupid? 

"Your state was deteriorating visibly..." Sky reflected, looking down at her hands before only meeting your gaze for a moment. "You really scared me, you know."

Your heart split in two. You placed your lunch tray on your bedside table, taking Sky's hands in yours and seeking her gaze despite her bowed head.

"Hey," you murmured in your tired voice as you smiled softly at her when she looked back at you. "You did the right thing, Sky. Without you..." you sighed, thinking back on your stupidity, "I don't know where I'd be right now. This was going to eat me alive until there would be nothing left of me but a white chalk outline on my desk."

She smiled softly, squeezing your hands. Her eyes glistened, her chin trembling slightly as she took off her glasses.

"Oh, Sky..." You pulled her into your arms, holding her close. "I'm sorry."

You couldn't imagine how tired she must have been, seeing you wasting away like that, not listening to her, not hearing her. She had her own revisions, her own things to do, and you had made your problem hers.

You could feel her forehead wrinkling, her hands trembling slightly around you as she twitched.

Since when did you become such an important part of someone's life that they cared that much about you?

What would have happened if, for one more year, you'd never had a flatmate? And if that flatmate hadn't been Sky, would she have had even an ounce of patience like your friend?

You'd fucked up and nearly gone off the deep end, and Sky had done everything she could to avoid it.

"I promise you to never do that again," you vowed, pulling away from her to run your thumb over her cheek and wipe away the tears. "Please, don't cry on me. Cry on... I don't know, Heimerdinger's hairstylist."

Don't cry for me, I'm not worth a waste of tears, not yours.

She laughed nervously, her eyes going to the ceiling. "I don't know why I'm crying, really, this is..." she sniffed, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand, "this is stupid."

"No, it's not," you smiled, "It's good to cry."

She raised her eyebrows, wiggling her nose and shrugging. "Well, you never do."

"That's because I sold my lacrimal glands," you chuckled, trying to lighten the mood by joking.

And it worked - she laughed, the sadness slowly evaporating from her face. "So you have no tears, but you still have your heart, right ?"

You closed your fist, banging it against your chest. "It's a dusty engine, but it does its work."

"Well," she stood up, "I hope it can still feel something."

You observed her for a moment, picking up a saucepan and filling it with water. No doubt to make coffee, or at least tea to ward off your addiction and prevent your mechanical heart from overheating under the caffeine. No amount of Piltovian gold could offer you anything like Sky's sweetness.

"My heart's full of room for the very few friends I have." You picked up your bowl of broth again, its warmth cupped against your fingers. "Its aorta is named after you."

She turned to you, smiling, her eyes filling again with tears as she breathed in. 

"You can't just say things like that and not expect me to ruin a box of these," she described movements in the air with her hands in ridiculous, exagerated swirls, "silk-soft tissues they have here."

"Their toilet paper is so thick and soft it feels like we're using pillows," you sneered before blowing on the bouillon.

"Right?!" Sky exclaimed, "It's only been like, a month and a half since I've been here and it all feels so fancy. Everything is so... clean."

"I know!" You laughed, "It's infuriating. The streets barely have a scratch, the buildings have colours straight out of a kid's colouring book, and they have trees."

She sighed, visualising the vegetation the city had before her eyes fell back on yours. "You never get used to it, right?"

You swallowed your mouthful of broth, pressing your lips into a thin line. "Never."

She leaned back against the worktop, watching you for a moment. "Seriously though." She tilted her head to one side. "Don't ever do that again."

You smiled, bringing your forefinger and thumb to your ear and pressing on the lobe. 

It was a custom in Zaun to pledge your word. In the Undercity, you pressed your lobe as if you were piercing it, to imaginatively seal in the skin a ring other than the one on your finger. However, everyone knows that if you pull too hard on a piercing, you can tear the flesh, and find it difficult to retie the skin so that it can be pierced again. So the promise was made with a symbolic ring, anchored in the skin, that the promise would be kept.

"May my flesh tear apart if, by misfortune, I betrayed," you recited.

During the rest of the last week of classes before the exams, you resumed a much more normal revision routine than the original, much to Sky's delight. You'd revise with her in the afternoons outside class, asking each other questions about the subjects you shared while you were trying not to die laughing from the stupid ways you looked with your facemasks during skincare time.

When Friday came around, you decided to go to the library again. Unconsciously, it had become a ritual. With Viktor or without, you intended to surround yourself with knowledge as immense as possible.

You went and sat down at a table, alone, while many students who had come for the same reason were already crowding most of the available ones. You took out your things, rereading your index cards for the umpteenth time until you were almost ready to recite them by heart if the need arose.

You couldn't help but lose concentration when you heard your name spoken in the distance, coming from voices that weren’t familiar to you, further behind your back.

"And to say Viktor got put with her on Heimerdinger's subject," one said, chuckling.

"I wonder which of them pulls their hair out more in each other's company."

You tried not to think about it, but since, for once, the conversation wasn't all about the walking street lamp, you couldn't help but let your ears hang close to their mouths.

"Did you see her the other day? A vision of the apocalypse. Hollow cheeks and dead eyes like she hadn't eaten in a month."

"Gotta have hollow cheeks to suck the teachers better," her classmate sneered.

Your jaw tightened, trying to ignore their remarks. This wasn't your first time hearing such things - the previous two years hadn't been as gentle as this one, even if Viktor had caused a few problems with his arrival.

"Can you believe what she did to Tyler?"

"She's an animal." They both laughed, causing you to sink back into your chair.

"How do you think Viktor handles her?"

"He doesn't, she's just a handicap to him and he seems to have an embarrassing enough one as it is."

You inhaled. Someone will probably tell them to be quiet so as not to disturb the peace of the library. You hoped.

"Who's a handicap?"

Your eyes widened as you suddenly turned around. Viktor was standing there, facing them, both students suddenly looking very confused and ashamed.

"Viktor," one of them laughed nervously, "this was just a joke, she..."

But the student didn't have time to come up with an excuse. Viktor raised an eyebrow before speaking.

"She's an incredible person who no one can defeat," he informed them, the latter two lowering their eyes on their notes suddenly invested in their revisions. "Except me."

He punctuated his sentence, turning away from them and meeting your gaze. He seemed surprised, not expecting to find you there, at least not doing nothing when such needlessly cruel nonsense was uttered in your name.

Inevitably, of course, he moved towards you.

Except me.  The phrase made you roll your eyes for a moment before you tried to read information from your notes that hadn't needed reading for a long time. 

He sat down opposite you, keeping his hand on the pommel of his cane. "Your name seems to be on everyone's lips, Miss."

"What can I say," you sighed, "the obsession they have for me is an undying addiction."

However, Viktor didn't seem amused at all.

"Why do you let them say such things about you without lifting a finger?"

You bit the inside of your lip, feeling the pressure of his gaze on you as your eyes scanned uselessly over your revision sheets. 

"It's not the first time I've heard that kind of comment about me," you confirmed without much interest, "I'll survive it."

"So you spend most of your time worrying about the injustices other people experience but you push your own under a doormat?" Viktor summed up, not seeming genuinely thrilled at the idea.

"If I could push the injustice that Tyler is by his very existence off the face of this world, I'd be stepping on some rich blonde aristocrat every time I left and returned from home."

But Viktor still wasn't laughing, far from it. When your eyes finally met his, they were dark.

He sighed. "Are you trying to punish yourself for something by neglecting yourself so much?"

I'd like to forget more than anything else in the world. The thought was taking over your soul, eating away at you like a gangrene with an insatiable hunger.

"Of course," you chuckled, exaggerating a falsely happy tone.

"Stop this." His tone was firm.

"Stop what?" you questioned.

"Trying to make something funny out of this."

You frowned, raising an eyebrow. "What? You're not feeling in the mood for our ritual chit chats?"

"Do I look like I'm joking around right now?"

His eyes had the same gleam, carried the same weight as when he'd held you in place in your bed just a week ago. You almost gulped, speechless. Why was he reacting like that? Why was he worried about you?

You lowered your eyes, licking your lips as you returned to your notes.

"Fine," you admitted, dropping your sarcastic tone. "I guess I owe you for saving my life, anyway."

It didn't sound like it, but it was probably the closest you'd come to a ‘thank you’ for him so far. He seemed surprised that you were finally cooperating in the conversation, that you were at last sending him a very subliminal magic word.

His shoulders slumped, as if the idea of being angry with you was stupid.

"How are you feeling?" He finally asked.

"I'm no longer sick, if that's the question you meant to ask."

"It was, but also," he brought his cane up between his legs, clasping both hands on the pommel as he came to rest his chin on it, "I just wanted to know how you are doing."

Why are you doing this? You were thinking back over the last few weeks. His questions during the power cut, the attention he'd paid to you, staying awake all night by your side to make sure you were taking your medication properly, and now...

"Well," you swallowed, these thoughts unsettling you for a moment and sending a foreign warmth into your belly, "the exams are approaching and I think you've had quite the close look on their effect on me so... yeah."

He considered you, tilting his head to the side until his cheek was the one pressed against the back of his hands. He scanned you, his gaze sending a warm wind up your spine.

"You're still on the treatment, right?"

The horrible powder you had to mix in a glass at least twice a day wasn't the moment you were looking forward to most in your daily routine, but you did it anyway, under Sky's sharp eyes.

You remained silent, just to see how Viktor would react and whether, as he had dictated, he would make sure you stayed in bed no matter what.

Faced with your silence, he raised an eyebrow as he straightened up, finally wrinkling his forehead as he frowned.

"Right?" he repeated, almost menacingly.

"Relax." A nervous chuckle escaped you. "Yes, I'm taking it."

He sighed in relief at the news, while you shook your head in confusion.

"You're putting all this effort... for me? Why"

The phrase sounded alien in your mouth, as if you weren't worth the time or energy of such dedication. He gazed at you for a moment, his eyes roving over your index cards.

"You know why."

"Because you can't have your best rival go against you while she's sick?" you recited.

"Because I don't want to be your rival."

You found this answer profoundly absurd.

"What do you mean-" But he cut you off, annoyed.

"What do you want, hmm? To become Heimerdinger's assistant?"

Of course, you thought, but the way Viktor had said it sounded... easy, too easy. Or at least, too easy for you.

"I don't intend to be his assistant, and I'm going to tell you why."

He stood up, walking around the table until he was beside you and leaning in slightly.

"Because I've already been his assistant, and I stopped."

The words echoed inside you, like the cracking of something you thought was indestructible. Your lips parted in shock, watching him with huge eyes as he straightened up.

"In any case. I wanted to make sure that you'd be back in good shape." He began to walk towards the library exit, turning one last time to give you a playful look. "And now that I'm sure you'll be in full shape, I know I don't need to hold back, hm, rival?"

He turned away, heading for the big door, leaving you with a short-circuited brain. What did he mean by "already been"? What did he mean he had stopped? How had Viktor ever been Heimerdinger's assistant?

When the sentence finally reached your mind after a long travel from your ears, you gathered your things in a flash as the questions began to fly and you almost ran to catch up with him. You caught up with him in the corridors, under the astonished gazes of all the students.

"What?" you asked, out of breath from the sudden exertion and the gust of wind the news had knocked from your chest.

He turned to you, slightly surprised that you'd practically chased after him. He'd probably expected you to sit at your table, mulling things over until the questions got too much for you and you decided to come and see him after a day or two of mental torment.

"You've been Heimerdinger's assistant?" you repeated, adjusting the strap of your satchel on your shoulder.

He shrugged, turning away from you. "Yes."

Was he really just going to leave like that? Leaving you in agony for answers you wanted more than anything? No, it wasn't going to be like that.

You grabbed his wrist, much to his surprise, and pulled him with you into an empty adjoining corridor. Once you were out of sight, checking from one end of the corridor to the other to see if anyone was there, you finally regained his gaze.

There was something in his eyes, like a hint of something that kept his lips parted until they closed and his eyes lowered to your hand still gripping his wrist.

You let go, the heat of shame spreading across your neck and cheeks for a moment as you took a step away, crossing your arms over your chest.

"When were you his assistant?"

He leaned against the wall, sighing as he stared at you.

"You do remember Jayce's trial, don't you?"

How could you forget? You hadn't been present at the trial. Selene had invited you to come as it concerned your friend, but you were too afraid of the aristocratic eyes and the pressure they would put on you.

The story remained vague. Due to special circumstances that remained under the security and secrecy of the administration as to the extent of Jayce's activities, he had been allowed to stay at the academy.

"Yes."

"By then, I had already been Heimerdinger’s assistant for a month.."

You now were certain you'd never seen him before. It was just one month into your summer holidays, and you had gone to Zaun to find Eris. Your chances of running into him were almost nil, no doubt about it.

"How did you get to become his assistant?" you quizzed.

He shrugged, and that simple movement made you want to scream. "I suppose he must have liked my assiduity enough to take me on. That and the fact that, with his little legs, I was bound to walk at his pace," he joked.

You held your breath in your lungs for a moment, before releasing it. He didn't seem to be lying, at least about the only serious part of his sentence. He was undoubtedly the best choice for Heimerdinger in any case.

However, it seemed to you that it wasn't so much exasperation that you were feeling - you were trying to understand what the feeling was... a relief, but not really about the fact that the assistant's place was free, no, a relief about Viktor that you couldn't really place at the moment.

"Why did you stop?" There was no longer any frustration in your voice, just a new-found curiosity.

Viktor seemed taken aback by your new intonation, straightening slightly against the wall. "It didn't interest me anymore."

What could he have found that was better? The thought, at last, that Viktor's aim was not to be an assistant for the rest of his life, crept into your mind. Viktor seemed to pick up on it.

"See? I told you we didn't have the same goal."

You finally realised what that feeling of relief was: you didn't have to hate him any more. You no longer had a reason to try to outdo him, no longer had a valid justification for becoming number one again. But why was it such a relief? There was rarely anything more gratuitous than hatred in what you knew, and it should have been the same for Viktor, so why was it such a relief not to have to hate him any more?

Hating him served no purpose, no motivation. It was useless, and what do you do with useless things?

You took half a step towards him.

"The truce you suggested, have you come up with any clauses?"

His eyebrows rose, his eyes widened. He lifted himself off the wall.

"Um no-" he began, but you cut him off.

"Find some, and I'll consider them."

And with that, you took off, leaving Viktor speechless. 

You moved quickly, trying to get home as fast as possible. You were afraid that the street air, so pure and fresh, would wash away your conclusions and fuel a hatred that no longer had any reason to exist.

But you didn't go home straight away, making a diversion to Emeline's shop. As soon as you entered her shop, she didn't hesitate to jump on your neck and give you a hug.

"My little lamb," she enthused as she squeezed you until your ribs broke before cupping your face as if to examine you, "are you feeling better? You gave me quite a fright, you know! When your friend came to visit me and told me you were ill I nearly closed up shop to come and see you myself."

"Everything's fine," you laughed, squeezing her arms, "I've almost completely recovered!"

You'd decided that, after your chat with Viktor and all the effort you'd put into your revision, you deserved a little something to comfort you.

After a little chat with Emeline, she packed two pastries, one for you and one for Sky. Of course, she didn't forget to fill you up with an extra small packet of sweets that would have gone unsold during the day.

When you returned home, you greeted Sky with a smile and raised the two bags of treats to your head. She smiled in surprise.

"To what do we owe this feast?" she asked.

You shrugged. "Let's just say I've made resolutions for the better."

You'd been laughing all evening, stuffing your faces with these delicacies as you both took a well-deserved break from studying.

Your eyes turned to your tarot deck, you'd forgotten to draw any cards lately due to your revisions, so after wiping your hands full of sugar, you took the pack in hand.

“I see you pulling one almost every morning,” Sky remarked, lying on her stomach on your bed while you were cross-legged. “Why do you do that?”

You pulled out your cards in your hands. “To have a leitmotif to follow during the day. Although to be quite honest I don't follow their advice every time.”

She laughed softly, knowing by now your stubbornness like no other. “That doesn't surprise me at all.”

“Yeah well,” you smiled in turn as you shuffled the cards, ”some of them are not the best cards to wake up on to in the morning.”

So you cut your deck as usual, and looked at its underside. You raised your eyebrows.

“Just like this one.”

You showed Sky the card: Death.

She winced, her eyebrows furrowing as her mouth formed as if she were pronouncing the letter x.

“Okay, I get it,” she said, shaking her head. “Is it literal? I hope not, right?”

“Nah it's pretty safe.” You laughed. “The description of its meaning is in the little booklet.” You pointed to it with your chin, and Sky grabbed it, flipping through until she found the Death page.

“Transition. Underworld. Flux. Occultism. Letting go. Evolution requiring liberation. Metaphorical death.” She read. “Off to a great start apparently.”

You chuckled, observing the card as she continued reading. “Death moves across a field with a slow, steady march. A king lies dead. He represents the old systems of order cast aside. A bishop begs for mercy, a young girl turns away in fear and only a curious little girl looks up to greet death. She has not been taught to fear it.”

Your thumb passed over the little girl's drawing, your heart clenching. 

“A ship sails away, heedless of death's march. A sun rises between two towers to reflect resurrection and new beginnings. All endings give way to new possibilities. Transformation leads to renewal and growth.” She raised her eyebrows. “Ain't as bad as I thought it would be.”

“Yeah,” you considered, thinking back on your day and the fact that the cards were pointing you in the right direction, ”indeed.”

Exam week was over. You'd had absolutely no trouble at all with any of the exercises. All the subjects were in the bag and you were finishing virtually ahead of schedule in every exam room.

Today was the day of results. The teachers had spent the weekend correcting everything, and the results boards had finally been displayed.

You woke up feeling lighter than you thought you would. Since realizing that there was no longer any point in chasing Viktor to victory, you'd relaxed.

You went down the hall with Sky, passing the student mailboxes for a moment so you could check if either of you had received anything.

You opened the metal door to a single letter, sealed with a metallic black wax seal you knew all too well: Eris.

You took the key to your apartment, using its teeth to open the envelope and take out the letter, which you brought to your nose.

Her letters always smelled of the essential oils and herbs that constantly appeased you. Without further ado, you unfolded the paper and read its contents.

My sweet friend,

I thought you were a lost cause in friendship, but I guess this year the wheel is really turning on your side. I'm delighted, and I imagine the same goes for Selene. I'd love to meet her, that Sky, she sounds absolutely charming. I'm guessing, though, that the day with your Five of Wands must have been no picnic, especially if - from what I understand - Emperor Viktor is to blame. But I'm sure that the Immeasurable Grandeur of the Prestigious Piltover Academy will crown your success.

You giggled to yourself as your eyes passed over the elegant, forced curves that Eris had taken care to add in response to your own inky bows.

I miss you so much. You know how the days are here in Zaun; I open, sell and consult, and close in the evening before any trouble starts. I'm paid with golden trinkets, new flowers to dry and other plants from other regions. I have managed to get some new customers, though, and not the least important ones. Renata Glasc herself has been to my shop.

You'd already heard of Renata Glasc, an ambitious woman who was growing in influence on the streets of Zaun. She wasn't a Chem Baroness, but at the rate she was going, it looked like she was well on her way to becoming one.

In fact, it's through her that I'm hearing about worrying things here. Common for Zaun, you may say, but I can't help thinking the worst. I'll tell you about it myself when we meet. I'm planning to come here around December 23, so let's meet at the usual bridge at three o'clock. I'll be staying with you for a few days. I can't tell you more. But I've lit a candle for you, wishing you success and good health.

I look forward to seeing you again, my dearest trouble,

Eris.

What could she possibly be worried about? The situation was invariably complicated in Zaun, but what could it be that she was worried about?

You carefully tucked the letter into your bag, heading out to the shuttle stop.

“Not too stressed?” Sky asked.

You huffed, a cloud of warmth rising into the air. The cold had been gaining in intensity for over a week, and all the students at the academy had donned their scarves.

“No.” you replied, confident. “You?”

“A bit,” she admitted, her breath trembling slightly.

“Hey,” you pressed your shoulder against hers as she turned to face you, ”you've got this. I know you do.”

She nodded, smiling at you as the shuttle arrived. The journey was swift, some students over-excited at the prospect of their results, others apprehensive about what was to come.

As you arrived at the golden gates of the academy, you noticed that neither Viktor nor Jayce were in sight. Perhaps they had decided to go to the academy later?

The group of students walked up to the scoreboards, an army of others already huddled in front of them.

Sky went in search of her name, while you breathed in, waiting for other students to pass before you.

You didn't know what awaited you at the top of the board, which name would be at the head. Did it still matter? Yes, it probably did, or it didn't. Did you want it to matter? Probably not. But did your mind keep wandering? Endlessly.

What if Viktor was still number one - would you be disappointed? What if you were number one - would you be satisfied? And if neither he nor you were number one, would you be revolted?

“Look who it is!”

That voice alone was enough to make you frown, raise your eyebrows and lower your eyelids in boredom.

Tyler.

You turned to him for a moment, him seeming pleased that you responded to his voice as you rolled your eyes and sighed.

“What do you want, blondie? Searching for a new name on the boards to torment?”

He chuckled, stepping toward you. “You don't change a winning team, darling. Have you found your place at the very bottom of the ranking?”

It was your turn to chuckle, turning to face him. He had no idea about your academic results, it seemed. 

“Tyler you have as many neurons as you have eyes, and they're both fighting for any kind of connection.” You turned to the bulletin board, stepping forward slightly. “Do them mercy and close your eyelids for all eternity before we have to deal with a rain of fire and the horsemen and...”

But you didn't even finish your sentence, the words dying on your lips as your eyes came to rest on your name.

First place.

You were back in first place. Eyes and mouth wide open, you kept blinking to make sure your vision wasn't failing you. And the name underneath... 

Viktor.

Your scores were almost equal, yours barely beating him.

“Told you I wasn't going to hold back.”

You turned towards the voice, the tinkle you now knew too well of his cane echoing on the floor. He stood there, serene, a small smile on his face before his lips pressed into an inverted grin and his eyebrows raised.

“You fight well, Miss.”

You couldn't help it - you cracked a smile at him. And Viktor seemed astonished, as if he'd never seen such a thing happen. No stupid remark, no pettiness behind your drawn lips, just sincere amusement and joy.

“What the...” Tyler's voice died in his throat as he took in the bulletin boards, turning to you. “How did you...”

You turned to him, his sole presence now not even enough to ruin your happiness and relief. “As if you could reach me,” you replied with a triumphant smile, walking out of the crowd to join Viktor.

Once you got away from all this tumult, he nodded. “You got first,” he remarked, “congratulations.”

You observed him for a second, his posture reflecting a sort of disappointment. Was it from losing? Or was it from the fact you seemed so happy in your rivalry with him? You sighed, rolling your eyes.

“Quit it,” you pronounced with a smile, shaking your head slightly. “We share this crown, and you perfectly know that.”

He said nothing, just gazing at you for a moment. There was this gleam, the tickling of a smile ready to be born on his lips as the satisfaction that, maybe, these ink duels you were both fencing would wash away and let something different be born from them. 

He was apprehensive about saying something, but Jayce came towards you both.

“Ah, Jayce, exams went well?” You asked, knowing without a doubt that he didn't have to worry about his results.

“Oh yeah, perfect.” He nodded, pressing his lips into a thin line, his eyes darting from yours to Viktor's, surprised that you weren't quarrelling. “Say, hum... can I talk to you guys for a minute?” 

Viktor and you exchanged a confused look, before ultimately following him.

“A masquerade?” you repeated, as if the word had never grazed your lips before.

Jayce had brought you to a room in the Academy where you could all talk without hearing the multiple cries of students as to their result. And considering what he had to discuss with you, he'd done the right thing.

“It's this thing Mel is invited to,” he explained nervously. “All the people of high aristocracy will be there, counselors, lords and ladies... Please, can you both accompany me to it?”

“As your dance partners?” joked Viktor, frowning.

“No, Mel's already my partner. But, she said that there would be no opposition for you both to come as well. You're the,” he seemed to search for words for a moment, ”croom dé la cram?”

“Crême de la crême?” you suggested.

He pointed at you, glad you understood. “Yeah, that. La crême de la crême of the Academy. Such prestigious students as the both of you sharing the top of the board deserve to be in such an event.”

“So you want us,” you pointed repeatedly between Viktor and yourself, ”to come to this event because you're too nervous to go there by yourself?”

The interested party scratched the back of his neck, sniffling before looking at you both with puppy-dog eyes. “Yeah?”

“Aren't you supposed to have a partner to come to a masquerade?” Interrogated Viktor.

“I thought you two could... go together?”

You chuckled, your mouth hanging open. You exchanged a bewildered look with Viktor, who didn't seem to be too upset by the concept.

“You're joking, right?” you asked.

“Please just-” he didn't finish his sentence, “put your bickering aside for one evening. You don't even have to show up together if it suits you better.”

“I don't see any problems with it,” Viktor shrugged, indifferent. “When is it?”

"Tomorrow night."

“Tomorrow night?” You exclaimed. “Jayce, if it's a society gala, I've got nothing to wear.”

He reached into his own wallet, pulled out some bills and handed them to you.

“Here, I'm sure you'll find something convenient with this.”

“Jayce,” you remarked, looking at the fresh bills, “what the hell.”

“This is not much for you to get a decent gown for the gala. Keep the rest, if there is any, to get some fancy accessories.” He grabbed your hand, placing the cash in it. “Truly, this is the least I can do.”

You knew Jayce's patrons were the Kiramman’s, but to have money to give away like this? Since when was that the case?

“Vik, I think it's time for us to go.” Jayce finally remarked before leaving the room, leaving the two of you.

You both stayed in silence for a moment, both digesting the information that had just been given to you.

“What a way to celebrate your victory,” Viktor finally sighed.

“I've seen worse celebrations than a masquerade,” you remarked, observing the tickets for a moment before folding them up, “but I think I've had better experiences than being in a room with nobility sipping glasses of champagne with petty innuendo in every exchange.”

He huffed in turn. “I suppose the next area in which we must excel in no time is the art of conversation in high society. Although, considering our usual conversation,” he leaned his head to the side with a smirk, "we'll fit right in."

“How exciting,” you raised your eyebrows sarcastically, letting silence take its rule back on the room before you finally decided to break it. ”Guess I better go and find myself something to wear. See you tomorrow, Viktor.” 

“Wait,” he called to you, seeming hesitant about what he was going to suggest, ”would you like us to get together first and go? Or...”

“Let's meet directly at the party,” you assured him.

He nodded, his lips pressing in a thin line as you turned away. “Oh and...” you turned back to him at his words, his eyes piercing. “Don't forget the mask.”

You nodded, leaving the room.

You had today and tomorrow to find an outfit, and get used to the fact that Viktor was no longer a threat to be eliminated. Easier said than done. 

But still… What a way to celebrate a rebirth.

✦﹒ previous chapter ✦﹒ next chapter

[cant-get-enough-btr-forever]

Welcome to MsMojo, and today we're counting down our picks for the Top 10 Big Time Rush Show Theories!

Okay, I'm not actually MsMojo.

But here are my theories, anyway. They get darker as you go down. You have been warned.

10) Mr. Knight's First Name Is Donald

This wouldn't be complete without a Kendall's Father Theory, so I included three of them.

In "Big Time Beach Party", Kendall's middle name is revealed to be Donald. I'd bet money that this is his dad's name.

9) Mr. Knight Is a Famous Athlete

Mr. Knight is probably a well-known athlete, at least in Minnesota. He was the kind of jock who got all the scholarships and trophies. Since Mama Knight was a cheerleader (revealed in "Big Time Pranks II"), she likely met him during a game. Since he particularly excelled at hockey, it became his main profession.

This would explain why Kendall loves hockey so much.

8) Carlos' Helmet Is a Gift From His Father

The age-old question: Why the heck is Carlos so obsessed with that helmet?

It's simple, really: His dad gave it to him when he was a child. As Mr. Garcia is a police officer, he was probably away from home for long periods of time. Carlos grew attached to the helmet during these periods, because it reminded him of his papi.

This attachment worsened after Carlos moved to California, for obvious reasons.

7) The Jennifers' Origin Story

I actually made a whole poll for this one (which is what inspired me to write this essay).

Until recently, I'd never given this question much thought: How did The Jennifers become The Jennifers? More importantly, why?

Well, I have a few theories. I'll list them in order of most to least plausible.

Theory 1: The Jennifers just happened to meet at the Palmwoods. Once they realized how much they had in common (right down to their names), they decided to form an alliance.

Why? They are insecure and ungainly on their own, so they find strength in numbers. Just look at what happens in "Big Time Prom Kings", when one of The Jennifers is separated from the others. She is shown to be an awkward weirdo.

Theory 2: They're victims of the Industry—that is, they were forced into this "mean girls" act. Their real names may not even be Jennifer.

Theory 3: They're adopted sisters. This means that their parents 1) took them in as babies and named them all Jennifer, or 2) only adopted kids named Jennifer. Either way, their parents are psychopaths.

6) Logan and James Are Only Children

Please don't cite me (or fight me) on this; I am not a psychologist. You can, however, cite this.

Being an only child would explain James' desire for fame/attention: He got undivided attention from his mom (maybe not his dad) as a child, so it carried over into his later years.

Or...maybe he didn't get enough attention as a child. This would've also carried over into his later years. So, really, it could've gone both ways.

It would even explain James' habit of talking to himself/the mirror. He had no siblings to vent to, and something tells me his parents weren't the listening types.

This is why Brooke Diamond was so against the idea of him leaving. Many people find it hard to part with their only child. And, in Brooke's case, the only heir to her company.

As for Logan, being an only child contributed to his social awkwardness. On the plus side, he was more successful academically, since he didn't have to vie for his parents' support. It's the opposite of James' situation, basically.

This is why no other siblings are mentioned in the show. Now, as for Carlos? Well...I got nothin'. He doesn't give off "only child" vibes to me. In fact, I can picture him as the youngest sibling in a big, happy family. Additionally, the odds of all three being only children are pretty slim.

Feel free to share your own theories as to why other siblings are never mentioned.

5) Logan Diamond

This is a wild one, but please hear me out.

In "Big Time Moms", Logan's real name is revealed to be Hortense. Brooke Diamond didn't like that name, so she ordered the boys to start calling him Logan instead.

But...where did Brooke get the name "Logan", anyway?

My first theory was that it's his middle name. Makes sense. Then I thought of another theory that isn't too far-fetched:

Brooke couldn't have just pulled the name out of thin air—she liked that name. That name was special to her.

What if "Logan" had been her second name choice for James? "James" may be Mr. Diamond's name, which is the only reason she went with it.

This would mean that we almost had a "Logan Diamond."

4) Gustavo's Wife Cheated on Him

It sounds funny. But it also makes sense, when you think about it.

Gustavo seems like this big, mean rock (pun intended) who is incapable of any emotion besides rage. However, in "Big Time Secret", he says (after eating Mama Knight's snickerdoodles),

So, clearly, he's been in love at least once.

Here's my take: He had a wife many years ago, before he was a famous producer. But once his fame increased, so did his job-related anger/stress. Growing tired of this, his wife became unfaithful. Eventually, she left him altogether.

This embittered him into the cynical, love-hating Gustavo we know today.

3) James Used to be Bullied

I think James was bullied as a child, before he met the other boys. Maybe he was made fun of for being underweight/overweight. Maybe he was one of those kids who had to wear headgear. Whatever the reason, he was ridiculed for the way he looked.

This is why he's so concerned with looks in his later years. He's afraid of being "ugly" because he's scarred by those bad memories.

2) Mr. Knight Cheated on Mrs. Knight

As I said in #9, Kendall's dad is likely a popular athlete. Famous athletes are often swimming in money...and fans. Mr. Knight would've had plenty of opportunities to be unfaithful. This is what led to his and Mama Knight's separation.

He left his family very little money, choosing instead to spend it on his mistress. Mama Knight was forced to wait tables in order to support her kids (she says so in "Big Time Demos").

So, it's easy to see why the Knights never speak of him. What makes this theory even better is that Challen Cates (Mama Knight's actress) kind of confirmed it in this tweet.

⭐⭐⭐

Before I unveil my #1 pick, here are some honorable mentions:

The Entirety of Big Time Movie Is Carlos' Dream

Think about it—Carlos didn't actually wake up at the start of the movie. The whole thing is just a continuation of his dream.

Jenny Tinkler Suffers From Spontaneous Human Combustion

How else do you explain the random fires she causes? There has been a surprising amount of research on this phenomenon, by the way.

Buddha Bob Comes From a Wealthy Family

This humble maintenance man mentions in "Big Time Fever" that he went to business school. He proves it by rattling off some genuine financial factoids.

Business school costs thousands of dollars. This leads me to believe one thing: His parents are loaded. I wouldn't be surprised if they bribed Mr. Bitters into hiring him.

(Of course, he could've also taken out a student loan. Maybe he's working at the Palmwoods to pay off his debt. I dunno.)

⭐⭐⭐

1) Logan's Father Is Dead

Why is Logan so bent on becoming a doctor? Yes, he's smart. But he doesn't quite fit the profile: He panics under pressure, is easily grossed out, and is indecisive. I would've expected him to pursue a career in astronomy, since it seems to suit him better.

So, I mulled for a bit, and this is what I came up with: Mr. Mitchell passed away from an illness when Logan was little. This is what fueled Logan's desire to help other sick people. It would also explain why we never see his dad—or even hear him mentioned.

This ties in with the "only child" theory, because Mrs. Mitchell probably never remarried. Thus, Logan never had any siblings.

Do you agree with my picks? Please share your own theories; I love to hear them! I've pinned a link to all my Big Time Rush essays (I plan on writing more). And to MsMojo: Please don't sue me.

[lovebvni]

Shifting Timeframe? Pick A Pile

Welcome back to my bi-weekly pick a piles!! I was compelled by spirit to do a timeframe of when you will probably shift. Remember, general reading and YOU have the POWER to change it.

Also I've been seeing 325 a lot  - 3/25 is actually my birthday SOOO if anyone knows what that means please tell me!

Everything comes with a grain of salt, I will also have a shufflemancy going on in the background.

So, take a deep breath in...

Now out...

What emoji is your third eye telling you to pick?

🥚|🍭|🍬|🍶

pile 1 -- egg

A Month and a half, your day to shine.

Cards: Strength reversed, The Tower, Temperance, Knight of Cups

BESTIE OMG UR SO CLOSE TO SHIFTING WTF IM SO PROUD OF YOU, I KNOW ITS BEEN HARD BECAUSE OF THE TOWER CARD BUT I KNOW YOU'RE PUSHING THROUGH! You may feel vulnerable in some way, like you're not good enough? You are! You are the universe, you are the most powerful being EVER!! You should also take a quick 1-2 day break from shifting - this will also help you shifthere will also be someone coming in *possibly a friend, witch, or spiritual person* helping you out on this journey - they might be the one to give that final push.

Possible Personality Traits: Loving, giving, annoying {To yourself}, confident {On the outside}

Shufflemancy :

"Don't be afraid of heights 'cause we flyin'" - Rebels Call Me Karizma

"The time is upon you to show them what you can do and soon they will know that the day has COMEEE" - The Day - From Boku no Hero Academia, NateWantsToBattle

"I'm a little faded" - Slumber Party - Ashnikko

"It's exactly the same, they say 'why do you dress that way?' 'why do you act that way?' 'why aren't you just like me?" - Fire Drill - Melanie Martinez

Phrases, Numbers, Signs and more: 777, 666, Christmas, Bakugou, short tempered, Denki, Shinsou, shy, "You've got a friend in me", "Movie night!!", "Get in loser, we're going to the mall", "So you're obsessed?" Capricorn, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Taurus.

pile 2 -- lollipop

Within the next 48 hours, your dreams will come true.

(2 days to a week, actually)

Cards : 9 of Pentacles reversed, King of Pentacles reversed, 3 of Wands, The Fool reversed

OKAY FIRST OF ALL HOW LONG HAVE YALL BEEN SHIFTING I FEEL LIKE UR JUST A VERY SPIRITUAL PERSON!! But I feel like to get to that point you have to be less dependent on the things outside around you, and more on yourself. YOU'RE the one who can shift, the signs mean NOTHING if you don't take action. Do you abuse your power to shift in one way or another? Like start denying it exists JUST so The Universe will let you shift? Approach shifting like a timid animal in your backyard that's hurt. But yes, you definitely are shifting within the week. Your child-like wonder inspires me btw 

but keep your hopes up, you need more faith and hope that you will shift!

Possible Personality Traits: Softie on the inside, kind of shy?, risk taker, lover of music, goofy

Shufflemancy:

"Stupid boy think that I need him, I go cold like change the seasons, I go red hot like a demon, I go ghost for no damn reason, stupid boy think that I need him, stupid boy think that I need him." - Stupid - Ashinikko

"I'm not your friend, or anything damn, you think that you're the man, I think therefore I am" - Therefore I am - Billie Eilish

"You've got troubles, I've got em too, there isn't anything I wouldn't do for you." - You've Got A Friend In Me - Cavetown

"We bark alot" - GOODMORNINGTOKYO! - TOKYO'S REVENGE

"We can fill it up with grass and all the things that make it warm. When you leave to go fly across the sea, I'll be waiting here with Junior and the flowers that we've grown." - Things That Make It Warm - Cavetown

"We might hotwire this old car to drive" - Everything Is Temporary (Sticks and Stones) - Cavetown

"Look like I'm going for a swim" - Chun-Li Nicki Minaj

Phrases, Numbers, Signs and more:  Denki Kaminari, "I'm failing all my classes omg", 444, "Hey, a frown won't get you anywhere - SMILE MORE!", calming music, study sessions, sexually active, dirty-minded, lack of physical affection, "Rough around the edges", Cavetown, Air Signs, any dominant sign tbh, "Have high hopes but low expectation", UA traitor, villian

pile 3 -- candy

44 Days, but It feels like years.

TW: DRUGS, SMOKING, ETC.

Cards : 8 of Pentacles, King of Cups reversed, 6 of Cups, The Hierophant

If you've read any of my other tarot readings you KNOWWW the hierophant makes me feel like I'm being choked, but before you shift you're going to realize something new, something new will come to you I suppose? So it will be a new beginning, then shift, it will probably be a new hobby or a job you like. And, like pile one, you will get good advice from a friend. I know some of you guys are like 'im not attracted to people in this reality' but you might be soon?? it's probably someone you knew in your past life or something. It may just be a friendship though. But the hierophant is just emphasizing what I just said, a good friend is going to give you advice.

Possible Personality Traits: ignored, quiet, lonely, friendly, smart, emotional

Shufflemancy:

"The worlds a little blurry, or maybe it's my eyes." - Ilomilo - Billie Eilish

"Maybe I'm too emotional, or maybe you never cared at alllll" - Good 4 U - Olivia Rodrigo

"I don't smoke, I just like how it smells" - Cigaratte Ahegao - Penelope Scott

Phrases, Numbers, Signs and more: Senpai/teacher, "You sure do cry a lot.", "You shouldn't care so much", watching youtube, hbu?, ignorant accidently, 666, 999, 69, st0ner, dr!nking, first time

pile 4 -- drink

Anywhere from to day to the 29th of this month

Cards : Queen of Wands, The Lovers, Judgement, Page of Cups

CLEARLY YOU'RE SHIFTING FOR SOMEONE WITH THE LOVERS CARD COMING OUT I MEAN SAME BESTIE, you don't know when you will shift, and you def look to higher spirits. Try some shadow work - your inner child needs healing. The universe sees you and how much you have bene struggling and working towards this, and it thanks you deeply. Your hard work is going to pay off soon!

Possible Personality Traits: Disappointed often, violent, gay, dramatic ASF, popular, two face, probably on medication, has been hurt physically, emotionally, or some other way

Shufflemancy :

"She moves on pretty BLOODY QUICK" - Your New Boyfriend - Wilber Soot

Literally any MHA song

"Baby hotline, please hold me close to you!" - Baby Hotline - Jack Stauber

"She said you were a hero, you played the part. But you ruined her in a year, don't act like it was hard. And you swear you didn't know,  I wonder why you didn't ask, she was sleeping in your clothes, but now she's got to get to class." - Your Power - Billie Eilish

I hope this pick - a pile resognated! I've been going through a lot this week and I don't know if my accuracy may have failed bc of the stress I'm experiencing but I'm so glad like NOBODY is shifting in a year+( like 2023) bc I know you all work SO HARD to shift.

[ih3artreggie]

ANNALATIONS is in session!

verse 9:99 – "kaito saeki is the goat"

i don't think many people know about one of my bestest friends in every single one of my drs – kai saeki, otherwise known as Nine (for reasons to be explained). Allow me to introduce him...

inspired by macknshift!

originally, kai was only in my loric dr. if you're familiar with the lorien legacy series (which i doubt you are), he IS number nine. just a normal guy!... so normal............ anyways, regardless of normality, he was my favourite character in the lorien legacies series #4EVER and i thought 'why not script him in'! he makes everything 10 times more fun.

the most recognisable dr you'd find him in is my f1 dr, although he is a part of my big three – fame, marauders, AND f1.

in my F1 DR, kai is a pro surfer in the world surfing league, and was an olympic silver medalist at the tokyo 2020 games (praying for the paris 2024 gold!). we met because we were both red bull athletes, and #traumabonded over it

in my MARAUDERS DR, he's in slytherin and plays as beater for the quidditch team (he is really good at knocking people out. in a good way!!!...). he's #enemies with sirius, and unknowingly on regulus' hit list (aren't we all?)

in my FAME DR, he's a friend from uni who is currently a middle school teacher and football coach! riveting stuff

...and in my LORIC DR, he's an alien with superpowers and a penchant for violence. what's new!?

i'm not joking when i say i've been obsessed with this man since 2019...................................... it's okay! i'm so normal. anyways, over the course of those five years, i've struggled with finding a suitable fc for him (this is a recurring problem you will notice with me). in my f1 dr, his career is hugely inspired by kanoa igarashi, who is in the photos above.

the current fc i use for kai is takahiro yaguchi (below). i felt like i'd seen a glimpse of heaven when i found him [sniffle].

MORE KAI FUN FACTS!! (specifically f1 dr related)

he's japanese american, and competes under the japanese flag despite being born in chicago

he's competed under the number 9 since he started surfing professionally, which is why people call him nine as a nickname. in the WSL, he's synonymous with his number – the same number i use in f1

lived in chicago for the first few years of his life, and then moved to huntington beach for surfing

he has a brother that's 10 years older than him named tadashi

when kai saw big hero 6 in cinemas he had to get up and leave when tadashi died in the movie because he couldn't stop crying and thinking of his brother 😭 (he was 15)

he's like. 6"4. NEEEEEVER lets it go. or lets me forget. it is hard to forget with him looming over me

the two songs that remind me of him the most are BOOGIE by brockhampton and tell me by wonder girls, the latter being my ringtone for him 😏 (he hates it)

HE HAS A REALLY BAD RESTING BITCH FACE 😭😭😭😭

he has so many tattoos that he's lost count of them. the one i like the most is 'born to ride' which is across his shoulders. it's sick

he is the most sun safe person i've ever met. he is never outside without sunscreen

i think that's all......... honestly i just wanted to yap, so expect a regulus related post coming your way soon!

this has been episode 1 of annalations, so i hope you enjoyed! catch you on the next one...

[starcrossed591]

KDrama Year in Review 2024

Only a few KDramas took up residence in my unconscious (looking at you, When the Phone Rings) this year, but looking back, there were a good number that I found pretty solid overall and looked forward to watching every week! I’ve been pretty flexible about genre this year, but since I was getting most of my angst from CDramaland (CDrama Year in Review forthcoming), I tended towards KDramas on the lighter and/or otherwise more restrained side. There’s some flotsam and jetsam to wade through first, but here we go:

Disclaimer: Rankings based on my personal preference, not objective quality

15) Romance in the House (dnf)—Did not even remember I watched this. The premise was meh, the deadbeat dad was unlikeable, and it seemed like they wanted me to root for him to win the mom back (no thank you). Some of the actors were doing their darndest to push through, but it did not work for me at all. Dropped.

14) Marriage Impossible (dnf)—I like the two lead actors, especially Moon Sang Min (I really liked him in Under the Queen’s Umbrella), and they had pretty good chemistry, but they were underserved by the weakness of the script. Dropped before they even got together (alas, the gifs of their first kiss looked like great fun).

13) Cinderella at 2am (dnf)—Interesting first two episodes in which the FL takes the money of chaebol boyfriend’s rich mother in order to break up with him, but then lost all momentum from there. Another miss from Moon Sang Min. Pick better scripts, buddy! Dropped.

12) Love Your Enemy—This rom com is fine I guess? I dropped after about six episodes because there’s too much else on my watch list. The actors playing the two leads in the high school flashbacks were unfortunately much more compelling than the ML and FL as adults, which leaves the whole thing feeling unbalanced. I don’t know if it’s the actors or the script, but this one just did not land for me. Dropped.

11) Serendipity’s Embrace—Finished this mostly inoffensive rom com mostly out of fondness for Kim So Hyun and because nothing else was airing that I wanted to watch. Did not actually like that much, do not recommend unless you don’t have much else to do.

10) Captivating the King—Was very obsessed with this sageuk for the first half. Cross dressing FL out for revenge? Vengeful, unhinged (bisexual) king? Yes please! However, they lost me when the FL who was supposed to be Very Smart kept acting Very Dumb, so I got distracted and never came back to it. I do still adore Cho Jung Seok and it was fun seeing him play a darker role after most recently seeing him in Hospital Playlist, but come on! If you want me to believe your FL is a strategic genius, she has to act like one or have a very good reason why she’s not! Dropped.

9) Love Next Door—Hyped up way too much; totally understand why so many people dropped. Mostly finished out of goodwill for Jung Hae In and Jung So Min, both of whom I adore, and a much more magnetic secondary couple. Was ultimately a mid-tier rom com/family drama, though I probably would have liked it better if my expectations hadn’t been so high. Would still recommend if you have fondness for any of the actors, though.  

OKAY now time for dramas I actually (mostly) liked!

8) Marry My Husband—Very much enjoyed Park Min Young, the rom com queen, in her transmigration revenge era. I liked it more when the SFL and SML were a sort of everyday awful that still managed to be soul sucking before it all took a hard turn into makjang territory, but still really enjoyable overall. I'm also still struck by the scene in which the FL breaks down after her (fake) bestie betrays her for a second time by sleeping with her husband. The feeling of betrayal she felt, even when she basically knew it was coming, was not actually lessened by that foreknowledge, perhaps because of the forlorn hope that maybe her friend *wouldn't* betray her this time around.

7) Queen of Tears—Kim Ji-won and Kim So Hyun were both fantastic in this much anticipated drama, and watching their relationship develop from married couple fully at odds with each other to ride or die partners was excellent. The ensemble cast also featured many of my favorite secondary characters of the year, including himbo brother and devoted daddy played to perfection by Kwak Dong Yeon and unhinged, excon, serial divorcee aunt played by Kim Jung Nan! Unfortunately, there was a little too much plot bloat and some unearned plot twists (amnesia, anyone?) and the episodes were all just too long (Writer Park Ji Eun really, really needs an editor, but I expect no one could tell her No after the success of CLOY). Still a fun ride overall, though!  

6) Tell Me that You Love Me—(Started airing in 2023 but ended in 2024 and wasn’t available to stream in my area until 2024, so I’m counting it!) This quiet, slice of life romance was a very comforting watch for me. I found Mo Eun (Shin Hyun Been) a restful character to watch as she tried to figure out her life while trying to make it as a working actress while also falling in love with Cha Jin Woo, an artist who is also deaf. YMMV re: the ending (and I hear the JDrama it’s based on may be a bit better), but if you want a drama that’s soothing while still grounded, I recommend this one.     

5) My Sweet Mobster—Had no expectations for this drama—in fact, I saw the descriptions and promo material and thought it would be a hard pass for me—but then ended up completely charmed by this goofy rom com that nonetheless took recidivism and the real challenges faced by excons to integrate into society after serving their time very seriously. Honestly, worth checking out just for Uhm Tae Goo as swoon worthy, deep-voiced, former mob boss Seo Ji Hwan—easily my favorite new-to-me actor of the year.   

4) No Gain No Love—Again, I had no expectations for this rom com, but then ended up totally sucked in by Shin Min-A’s performance as Son Hae-Young, a successful career woman who has reached her ceiling promotion-wise at work solely because she is unmarried. Her insistence on not suffering losses even in relationships and her resulting conviction that that insistence made her unlikely to find a partner also struck a chord. My mileage varies with Kim Young Dae, but his turn as the convenience store clerk she convinces to fake-marry her was charming. Rom com tropes follow, some with more success than other, but the pointed critique of the gendered double standard many of the characters face made this one really land for me. Bonus points for Hae-young’s relationship with her two foster sisters, the only two of the many children her mom fostered to stick around.

3) The Midnight Romance at Hagwon—I know a lot of people had high expectations for this one and then dropped it when it wasn’t what they expected, but it ended up being a highlight of the year for me. I came for Wi Ha Joon in a romance, and stayed for the unexpectedly earnest commentary on what education is actually for, especially when it has turned into teaching children how best to win at taking a test. When the first big fight between the FL and ML was a yelling match about a pedagogical disagreement on the best way to teach literature, I was a goner. The thought of a former student showing back up in my life to seduce me at my place of work irl gives me hives, but I honestly loved this drama so much. Highly, highly recommend.

2) When the Phone Rings—I know I’m being premature by putting this drama so high on my list when it hasn’t yet concluded, but I CAN’T HELP IT, SUE ME. I’m so obsessed with this drama, it has taken over my dreams. Hong Hee Joo and Baek Sa-eon’s messy relationship is so, so fun, and I’m rooting for them so much. I do sometimes see the twists coming in this makjang thriller romance, but am still surprised often enough to keep me on my toes. Also, more red flag heroes please, Baek Sa-eon is so so fun when he’s being little extra unhinged.

1) Lovely Runner—Im Sol and Ryu Sun Jae had my whole heart for the entirety of this drama’s run. This is another one where the premise did not originally appeal to me—Im Sol going back in time to save her idol from dying is not at all sexy to me—but it’s another one where it took so many twists and turns that a non-spoiler description just can’t do it justice. Sol and Sun Jae had such good chemistry and were so ride or die for each other. I honestly loved that (spoiler) you go in thinking that Im Sol’s love for Sun Jae, just to learn that Sun Jae fell for her both first and much, much harder. Im Sol’s time travel shenanigans were never totally explained, but I’m just fine leaving it all a little timey wimey because I loved the journey so much.

Favorite Female Character: Look, I love a KDrama Lost Girl (tm), so it’s gotta be Hong Hee Joo (Chae Soo Bin) from When the Phone Rings for me. I love the balance between (spoilers) how adrift she feels in her personal life with how unhinged she can get when making calls with the mask of 406. I also love her artful use of sign language, especially when she deploys it specifically because she knows the person she’s talking to won’t understand her.

Favorite Male Character: If I was in my green flag era it would be Sun Jae, but since I’m in my red flag era, it’s absolutely Baek Sa-eon (Yoo Yeon Seok) from When the Phone Rings. He’s been unhealthily obsessed with Hee Joo for 20 years, and I love that for him. Also, I adored YYS in both Mr. Sunshine and Hospital Playlist, so seeing him play a character here somehow halfway between his polar opposite roles in those dramas is a real treat.

Favorite Secondary Female Character: I adored Nam Cheong Mi (So Joo Yeon) as the SFL in Midnight Romance in Hagwon. She started out *totally* out there in her quest to be hired as a lecturer at the elite hagwon for which the drama is named, and I empathized her total dedication to being a fantastic teacher that became more and more apparent as the drama went on. I also appreciated her growing friendship with FL Hye Jin. She refused to let herself be used by others as Hye Jin’s rival, even when it would have been really easy to do so for her own gain.

Favorite Secondary Male Character: A tie here for Baek In Hyuk (Lee Seung Hyub) as Sun Jae’s bestie and eternal wingman and SML Kim Tae Seong (Song Geon Hee), both from Lovely Runner. The delightful ensemble cast is part of what made this drama so strong, and the scene where these two were on screen with Sun Jae were some of the funniest. I also really, really liked Tae Seong’s unexpected friendship/relationship with Im Sol in each variation of the timeline, especially since he was the first person to consistently recognize future Sol as distinct from past Sol.

Favorite Ship (runner up): Look, I know I should just choose one couple, but it’s my list so I make the rules, and I’m so obsessed with Hee Joo and Sa-eon right now that I have to give them their own slot.

Favorite Ship: Sun Jae and Im Sol’s (in Lovely Runner) determination to protect the other even at the cost of their own lives takes the cake here for me. I also loved seeing Sun Jae recognize Im Sol’s feelings for him multiple times across different possible timelines, and always, always choose her. I was rooting for them so hard and they made my heart flutter so many times across so many timelines that it has to be them.

Favorite Secondary Ship: I ended up really loving the romance between spicy romance  web novelist Nam Ja Yeon (Han Ji Hyun) and chaebol/her internet troll Bok Gyu-heon (Lee Sang Yi) in No Gain No Love. Seeing how these two went from true enemies to lovers was such a treat. I do some research on Webtoons in my professional life, so seeing this drama take seriously the toll that internet hate can take on creatives felt really profound (and pointed) to me, and seeing Gyu Heon realize how much harm he caused in trolling her so hard and figure out how to legitimately make restitution really resonated for me. Plus, the bonus episodes in their spin off, Spice Up Our Love, were a nice treat! These two are totally ready to carry their own dramas as leads, if they want to.

Favorite Platonic Relationship: I’m a sucker for friendships between women, especially for some reason when there are three of them, so the friendship/sisterhood between Son Hae Young, Nam Ja Yeon, and Cha Hui Seong  in No Gain No Love was catnip for me. The way they always showed up for each other even if they didn’t agree with the other’s choices really, really worked for me. Ja Yeon and Hui Seong’s roles as Hae Young’s only foster siblings to stick around long term was really touching, though also bittersweet.  

Dramas I Missed: I meant to watch A Virtuous Business, because who doesn’t love middle aged women selling sex toys? I still might, but that one will likely stay on the back burner for a while. I might also pick up Atypical Familyat some point, since enough people liked that one well enough for me to be at least a little intrigued. Anything else I ought to check out?

Non-2024 Drama Spotlight: I watched Link: Eat, Love, Kill at the end of last winter break, and it was such a fun little drama! It had that unexpected mixing of genres-- the perfect balance of romance, thriller, murder mystery, and magical realism—that made me love KDramas in the first place. I adored Moon Ga Yong as the ne’er-do-well FL forced to move back in with her mother and grandmother by her lackluster career, and her romance with the chef starting a restaurant across the street (played hilariously by Yeo Jin Goo) who, for reasons unknown, shares a psychic connection and can sometimes feel her emotions! Throw in a murder (maybe?) that the mom and grandmother help the FL cover up; a cold case; a fridge that somehow keeps ending up with a body in it; and unexpectedly sharp commentary on domestic violence, and you have yourself a winner, at least in my book. I highly, highly recommend checking it out if you haven’t yet!

Dramas I'm looking forward to: Idk I live under a rock and am happily surprised when fun dramas show up on my dash. I do like the Webtoon for The Remarried Empress, so hopefully the drama for that will be good? Not over all the articles describing this story as a "historical" when the plot depends on the ML being able to *turn into a bird*, so we'll see I guess

[bisexualbard-writes]

KimChay prompt

I give you: Soulmate AU

Everyone has a timer in their wrist that shows how many days your soulmate has left to live

For Chay the timer changes every day but the number of days is never more than one year. Chay is very, very concerned for his soulmate and the kind of life he is living.

For Kim, he's convinced that his soulmate is also part of the Mafia or something worse because his timer is just weird. This morning his soulmate had over 50 years left, but something happened between 9am and 9:25am so now his soulmate is gonna die by the end of the week! Then, before lunch his timer changes again and Kim's soulmate will live for another 89 years

How do you think Kim would react to Chay? Just normal, kind, brave, zero situational awareness Chay who hasn't realized how many times he's been about to die

Also Helloo Hiiii how are you?

Hiiiiii, Hellooooo, I'm doing okay other than all this writer's block haha. Onto the timer soulmates!!

Kim wakes up in unfamiliar territory and nearly jolts up before he realizes the uncomfortable feeling below him is a pullout couch and the comforting weight on top of him is Chay.

His maybe-probably soulmate. 

Warmth spreads across his cheeks when he realizes they spent all night pressed up against each other like this. Trying not to jostle Chay, Kim checks his watch. The time, 7:00AM, is expected for his internal body clock. Then he pulls down the wristband on his watch and checks his timer, 20:05:03:23:15, which is not expected. 

Twenty years? When he fell asleep last night, the boy in his arms had fifty some odd years left to live, and this morning it’s down to twenty? 

The timer changes sometimes, everyone’s does. The mechanics are still a bit of a mystery to the world, but it’s a guarantee that when a timer runs out, that person’s soulmate dies. It seems like Kim’s timer fluctuates more than other people’s, but Chay hadn’t led the safest life even before he started hanging out with the third son of Thailand’s biggest mafia family. 

Actually, when Kim suspected Chay’s magnetic pull was more than just a simple crush on Kim’s part, he made a phone call ensuring all the Kittisawat debts were paid off and any loan sharks in the area knew Chay was protected.

On that day Kim’s timer jumped from a worrisome ten years to a more comfortable fifty.

That would have been more than enough for most people to prove they were soulmates, but Kim maintains a healthy amount of doubt. Or denial rather. 

He doesn’t want Chay tied to him. His little intervention took a whole week of planning to make the orders look like they were coming from someone other than Kim. He doesn’t want his family finding out Chay is important, it’s  too dangerous for Chay to get involved with them. This morning is proof of it, their deepening relationship is taking decades off of Chay’s life. 

The boy in his arms begins to stir, and then stills suddenly. The corner’s of Kim’s lips twitch up when he feels Chay’s breaths quicken as he likely realizes he’s sleeping half on top of Kim, and then forcibly slow down again. 

“Why are you pretending to be asleep?” Kim finds himself asking. He hadn’t even planned to break their peaceful silence, but he’s a little obsessed with Chay and desperate to understand what goes on in his mind. 

Chay answer about barely believing any of this is real is like a knife to Kim’s heart, because it’s not. Kim is hiding so many things from him. He hasn’t even mentioned to Chay his thought that they might be soulmates, and that’s the least of the things Kim is keeping from him. 

Chay unknowingly twists that knife when he looks up at Kim with his big, lovely eyes and asks Kim if he loves Chay. He’s never looked at the timer on Chay’s timer, but he thinks it probably just lost a decade of time. 

He doesn’t respond to Chay’s question, instead sending him off to fetch breakfast for them. 

Kim should leave, he tells himself as Chay cooks. He should leave and never return. It’s better to know Chay is out in the world without him, than have to live in a world where Chay is dead because Kim was greedy with him. 

When the doorbell rings, Kim makes his decision. He’ll slip out while Chay isn’t looking, and never come near him again. 

Then he hears Chay scream, and walking away isn’t an option. 

He fights tooth and nail, but he let his guard down too much and he’s not prepared to fight. Chay’s cries have made him frantic and erratic, and he knows he’s leaving holes in his defenses. Just as he’s starting to get his fighting brain turned on he gets tazed. It hurts like a bitch but he keeps going, fighting back as he gets tazed again. 

He goes down. The last thing he sees is Chay helplessly splayed on the ground. 

When he wakes up Chay is gone. 

Kim’s timer reads 00:00:05:08:15. 

Five days. 

If Kim does nothing, Chay will die in five days. 

He won’t let his happen. 

He picks up the phone and dials the number he swore he’d never call for help again. 

Kim watches the seconds tick away on his timer with as the call rings. 

“Kim?” Kinn asks curtly when he picks up. 

Kim takes a deep breath. “I need help,” he utters. 

His timer jumps. 89:03:12:06:45

[changingplumbob]

My 𝐓𝐨𝐩 24 𝐒𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐬 from 2024- P2

@igotsnothing told me in their post I could do another lot so just try and stop me! But they're not in order this time just numbered...

1 - Glenn being playful with Silver

2 - Johnny and Elena's selfie contest

3 - Your favourite gymnast

4 - Cheeky Byron and oblivious Layla

5 - Rain in the Bay

6 - Bob Pancakes evolving in to Bob Ross

7 - Aliens in Oasis Springs

8 - New house time for aliens!

9 - Best place for Pollock to get a milestone

10 - Silas's birthday time

11 - I just like my aliens okay

12 - Calista attempting nectar making

13 - Grouchy Viola

14 - New Year with the Chopras

15 - Erratic Mercedes

16 - Marta is just so pretty

17 - Obsessed with this gallery build

18 - Ariadne adopted!

19 - Alfred judging me

20 - Devin teaching Joey knitting tricks

21 - Villareal snuggles

22 - Another snowboarding shot

23 - Chilling in bed

24 - Crushing Ariadne and distracted Carson

I found it so hard to get an initial 24 so of course I'm posting more! If you have not already been tagged then TAG! YOU'RE IT!

[cull3nblaze]

BuckTommy Masterpost

Apparently my 9-1-1 masterpost has exceeded the number of links I am allowed to insert...

So now I have two :D

part one

Evan🙄vsEvan😍

BuckTommyABC gifsets

Entries for the bucktommypositivityweek

Isn't that what we all want in a partner

First and last scene together

Dumbass4dumbass

I think he knows

The curse

Tommy Kinard. Boyfriend.

Super gross

Especially when things go wrong

Could you be more smitten

People are what make life worth living

What did I marry into

Billy Boils

When are getting those flying lessons

No space

I just wanted to get to know you

OTP tags

So that was okay

Vision in a cone

Nicknames

Capsized/Buzzkill

Never getting tired of looking at them

They way they look at each other is isane

You okay?

Basketball scene

Cozy Boyfriends

Head tilt

I feel it in my bones

Smitten kitten

Same/similar clothes

Yellow rag

Confused boyfriends

Moments season 7

7x06

7x10

Disney Romantic Edition

Disney Sidekick Edition

Tarlos parallel 01

Tarlos parallel 02

Tarlos parallel 03

Doctor Who parallel

The Rookie parallel

Roswell New Mexico parallel

Schitt's Creek parallel

Horita/BuckTommy kiss

better than fake mouth static

Hope to find something that good

me and my wild boy

Arrow reference

having the best time

They're in love, can you believe it

BuckTommy parallels part 1

BuckTommy parellels part 2

BuckTommy parallels part 3

She's too brooding for me

He's good for you

I totally get it, Buck

so adorable (Oliver & Lou interview)

There is that smile again (Oliver & Lou interview)

invisible string

Invisible string also known as Chimney Han

I've been thinking about the way you smile golden

Kinda obsessed with them

Touch

Touch (black/white)

Electric Touch

I hate accidents except when we went from friends to this

Kiss

I don't even care what happens for the rest of the day

Looks like you've been busy

Kiss/Hands/Hug

Tommy checking out Buck

My fees are competitive

Maybe that something could be with you

Montage/quotes

Closing the distance

That's why I called and asked for the tour

Tommy and Buck looking at each other

Just them being cute

I kind of can't stop thinking about him

Loft scene (7x04)

I don't know what I'm ready for

Not like that (coffee)

I am free

Basketball

Nervous

The one I have been waiting for

My loves

Ready

Favourite BuckTommy headcanon

Were you always out on the job

You don't find it son, you make it

Favourite Scene (first kiss)

Like that

[ddejavvu]

Ok since you brought it up about the episode “Riding the Lighting” maybe a scene like the hotch and jj one but with reader instead? Hotch has to take a moment after leaving the room because he’s really mad 👀 I’m obsessed with possessive hotch ;)

mmmmmutual pining with bau!reader because it's my fave <33

--

"There's three more girls we need to know the location of," You speak calmly and slowly, meeting the unsub's wicked gaze with your own confident one, "Megan Walsh, Casey McMillan, and Monica Chen. If you can tell me where those girls are," You flatten your hands over the table, fingers spread over each one of the girls' portraits, "We'll tell the court you cooperated."

"That's not going to matter much," The man laughs, evil seeping from his lips, "They're not going to repeal the death sentence, are they?"

"No, but they might not slam you into the door on the way out," Aaron spits from behind you, more venom in his voice than you've ever heard before. "And you might want to stop staring at my agent and start taking a look at those photos, because they're your only hope."

"They don't matter anymore," The man shrugs, jumpsuit baggy over his emaciated frame, "They're over and done with. You, however," His eyes trail down your face, examining the features he'd sought out in his victims, "You would have made a nice Number 9."

"That's it," Aaron snaps from behind you, his hand falling heavy on the back of your chair and yanking you out from the table, "You had your chance, and you wasted it. Now I'm going to tell the guards you perpetuated your behavior, and I won't look back if I hear a thud."

Aaron's careful not to hurt you as he pulls you out of your chair, the hand on your arm firm but gentle. He leads you by your bicep out of the room and leaves behind you, blocking the unsub's view of you from behind with his broad frame.

Once you're out of the unsub's sight Aaron rounds on you, keeping his hand on your arm and staring at you with a concerned glance, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," You nod, though you have to admit you're more shaken up by Hotch's reaction than by the creepy comment, "That's just... what they do, right?"

He stares at you for a second too long. Eyes against yours, searching for any lingering uneasiness. When he finds only resignation, he nods, registering your words late.

"Yes," He nods, letting go of your arm and starting down the hallway, "Unfortunately, that's just what they do." His jaw is tight, his steps heavy as he leads you back to the guards waiting for you by the entrance to the cell block, "If you'll excuse me, I need to make a private phone call. Y/L/N, you can wait for me in the car."

The officers are kind enough to walk you back to your SUV, pitching into tense conversation with questions about the unsub. You answer all that you can, shutting the passenger's side door to the SUV and glancing at the clock, wondering what time Hotch will be back to drive.

When your gaze falls from the clock it locks onto a small black device on the center console; Hotch's phone.

A comment he'd made earlier pops into your head five minutes too late, something about their being no outside cell service in the prison, so he was going to leave his phone in the car. No use carrying around dead weight.

But he comes back from his mystery outing with a droplet of water by his temple, soaking his hair that looks damp around the line. So he went to the bathroom, but to wash his face? Why did he need to lie about a phone call?

"Sorry," He apologizes, setting his suit jacket over the center console and effectively burying his phone, "I've been wrestling with the cable company for weeks now, we can't ever reach each other. I felt my phone buzz in there, figured I'd try reaching 'em."

You nod, silent, observant, "Funny, I didn't know you had a second phone."

"Hm?" He glances over at you, hands poised on the wheel. You peel back his suit jacket, one eyebrow raised as his eyes lock onto his phone.

"You're a good liar," You commend him and his years of profiling work, "Next time, just make sure there's no evidence."

"Alright, so I wasn't on the phone," He sighs, bracing his hand on the back of your seat to pull out of the parking lot, "But the cable company has been messing with me, I think."

"They're conspiring against you," You tease, "They don't want you to downgrade from the HD channels. Is that why you had to splash your face? Just so frazzled from the cable company?"

"Jesus," He hisses, rubbing at the wet spot against his temple with his sleeve, "You're new here but you don't act like it."

"So?" You try holding back the pride that threatens to burst from your chest, "What was it? What had the great SSA Aaron Hotchner losing it in the prison bathroom?"

"It was the way that guy talked to you," He admits, keeping his eyes on the road as they scrunch in disdain, "He was out of line."

"He's a serial killer," You laugh humorlessly, "There isn't a line, not anymore."

"Regardless. It's still not fun to be told you'd make a good murder victim. Are you really alright, Y/L/N?"

He takes the few seconds that a red light grants him to stare over at you questioningly. Although you'd felt uneasy at the man's comment, you'd been far more affected by Aaron's response, and the protectiveness he showed over you. You appreciate the fact that he seems to care about you already, even though you're a recent addition to his team.

"I'm alright," You decide, lifting your chin towards the green light so that he doesn't miss it, "Thank you for stepping in. I wasn't really sure what to say."

"I wouldn't have told anyone if you'd decided to punch him in the teeth," Hotch grumbles, "I'll have Morgan go over there tomorrow, and see if he can get it out of the guy. And if not..." He hesitates, glancing up quickly to clock a speed limit sign and slowing the car slightly, "I might tell Morgan to punch him in the teeth."

[psychiatristtriangle]

Can you please talk about your current fandoms and why you like them???

Okay, alright

Let's start

1) Tolkien Legendarium (since February 2024)

I'm a linguistics, most likely philology nerd and this man created TONS OF LANGUAGES just for he got bored and wrote an creation myth to his OC's

I love the whole Arda in general, it doesn't matter which time the story takes place or where it takes place

However my favourite time period of all is between Y.T 1495 and F.A 590

I even made a whole presentation about The High Kings of Ñoldor in literature class and I got an 100 🙂

2) DC Comics (since 2022(partially 2015-2016))

DC is a total mess.

Completely, it is a mess when you're both trying to watch something or read something

No order, no logical explanations, everything is in chaos

God, I love it

Especially Batfam

This city and family is full of angst and tragedy

They're full of traumas, yet family chaos, psychological issues and tons of responsibilities which shouldn't be on their shoulders

I adore them

Jason and Tim are my babies and that's all thanks for listening to me

3) Marvel Cinematic Universe (Infinity Saga+some of phase 4 series) (since 2021(partially 2015-2016))

First of all I'm a #teamstark

And this was the top of my teenager obsessions at one time

MCU has an order, everything is planned and on a plane

If you're interested in this you easily may connect so many dots and understand a whole

I loved MCU for its domestic and friendly vibes

4) Shakespeare Tragedies (since April 2023)

I'm a theater kid, really

I'm in the theatre club of my school and I've been in 5 or 6 plays since 2023 and by the next week, I'll be performing a play in Arabic which is my 3rd language.

I love reading theatre texts and especially Shakespeare, for his chaos and tragedies.

Hamlet, King Lear, Romeo and Juliet, Othello, Macbeth, Julius Caesar and many other

I really love tragedies

5) Jujutsu Kaisen (since July 2024)

This is totally because of my bff who was currently obsessed with it at that time.

God, I love tragedies and domestic stuff at the same time, I know BUT WHAT GEGE DID WAS UNFAIR

I'm kinda traumatised by the end of it

6) Harry Potter (since May 2019)

I don't even follow or do stuff about this but this was the first fandom which I got in contact with real people instead of myself again.

So it's here

7) Gravity Falls

It is a classic at this point. Same things with 6

8) Heathers the Musical (since June 2023)

I LOVE musicals. Me myself is kinda musical and this was the very first musical I've ever watched and also it was the first video which I didn't watch with Turkish subtitles

Full of chaos, teenage bullshit, musical numbers and also CHAOS

Hehe

9) Hazbin Hotel

Also a musical, same with 8

10) Miraculous Ladybug and Chat Noir

Tragedical issues, same with 4-5

•

•

•

Those are my fandomish fandom if you ask,

However I'm not sure my current and newest obsession can be counted as a fandom

~Football~ (since June 2024(partially 2015-2018, 2020-2022))

I'm a Beşiktaş supporter

I've always known something about football but I was younger than and when I was preparing for big exams in my life, I put aside football.

This year I turned back with EURO2024 and I really was thinking of stopping it there but because of boredom and some gossiping issues I started to consume things with football once again in July and I'm sure it was a fault by these two months that we have passed

Beşiktaş may be getting too tiring, you know?

And being obsessed with football is not so easy especially if the management of your favorite team is in terrible chaos

It is also tiring if your national team is in kind of a chaos too

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

A more normal ask this week I think

🧟

🔮🔮

⚡⚡⚡

🩸🩸🩸🩸

🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨

But because I'm a bit crazy about the prospect of these new ones

🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼

💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐

And I'm obsessed with Cranberry

🐕‍🦺🐕‍🦺🐕‍🦺🐕‍🦺🐕‍🦺🐕‍🦺🐕‍🦺🐕‍🦺🐕‍🦺🐕‍🦺🐕‍🦺🐕‍🦺🐕‍🦺

So more normal in terms of most of the numbers perhaps but still a bit extensive either way sorry lol

💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

Hey!!! Love these pyramids of emojis I've been getting. Don't be sorry AT ALL! I love it.

Okay 3 for 🧟:

---

Buck leads Bobby out back behind the community center portion of the building. A utility shed with power access, padlocked, is where Buck keeps all his fishing net gear and other miscellaneous things. It’s also where he’s hidden the radio, signal booster, and laptop.

---

6 for 🔮:

---

There is complexity in her expression. Not the plain grief of someone who has just lost a husband; something more confused  than that. Something that makes Buck think, for whatever reason, of his sister. 

The other boy, an older teenager - Charles? - is scowling. He sneers when the priest says something kind about his father. This takes Buck by surprise.

---

9 for ⚡:

---

He never had one the first time. But he’s fairly certain you’re supposed to, one, be a bachelor. Which Eddie is not, technically. And two, not spend the night more or less attached to the person you’re marrying. Which Eddie did. 

And that’s exactly how Eddie wakes up. More or less attached to the actual bachelor in this situation. 

He’s laying sideways across a hotel bed, legs hanging off the side of the mattress. Buck is pretty much flopped on top of him.

---

12 for 🩸:

---

“Please forgive me, Maddie,” Buck whispers. 

Maddie exhales. “I feel like I should have known.”

“How could you have?” Buck asks.

“That 9-1-1 call, when you found him dead… I… It was horrible. I thought… I guess I thought a part of you sort of broke.”

Buck shrugs. “Maybe it did. I don’t know.”

---

15 for 🚨:

---

It all happens so fast. 

One day, life is the way it is. The next, it seems, the world is ending. Decisions have to be made. Systems have to change. Everyone has to stay home. Everyone, excluding first responders. Things still need responding to. 

For Eddie, it involves a hard choice. One he didn’t think he’d have to make. He’s spent the past nearly two months worried about dying. Mortality. Leaving his son orphaned and traumatized. Missing this beautiful life he’s somehow stumbled upon. And, well, he could. Nobody knows anything about this illness yet.

---

27 for 🔼:

---

If he thought he was confused before, Eddie is practically reintroduced to the concept of confusion. He has no understanding of what is happening or why. He feels dropped in a train station in an unfamiliar country, where no one speaks the languages he speaks, and the writing might as well be cuneiform. He has no idea why Shannon would do this to him. He has no idea why she would lie. He is so deeply angry. He is so deeply worried. He loves her. He hates her. He just wants her to be alright. 

She is alright. Although, it takes hours for them to get official word on this. 

Shannon’s shoulder is dislocated. They reset it; a painful process for her. That will heal, though they worry with the severity, it may require some physical therapy. 

Her ankle isn’t broken. They think badly bruised and sprained. She’ll be off her feet for a little bit. 

She’s banged up pretty badly from her fall. Lots of wounds that require cleaning. Bruising, to be sure. But no head or spinal injuries. This is the main thing. This is the best piece of luck. Everything else will heal. 

Then there’s the other matter. The one that feels like a cold grip around Eddie’s heart. 

---

27 for 💐

---

"Of course not, May. You’re always welcome. More than welcome.”

So she keeps coming.

One day, Hen and Buck approach her. May isn’t sure if Bobby put them up to it, or if there’s simply not a lot going on. Eddie, Chimney, and Ravi seem otherwise occupied with fire station chores, so she’s not sure how they got off easy. Either way, Buck takes a seat in the chair adjacent from her, and Hen sits beside her, and they both strike up a conversation. As it turns out, the exact sort of conversation she was looking to avoid. 

“Alright, May,” Hen sighs. “What’s really going on?”

“What do you mean?” She asks, not looking up from her books. “I’m just studying.”

Hen clicks her tongue off the back of her teeth, unimpressed with May’s answer. 

“Speaking as someone who tried to study for med school exams on this same couch? That’s bull.”

May scoffs. “Hey!”

“It’s kind of loud,” Buck backs Hen up. 

“The alarm. The echoes. The constant activity.” Hen says. She points at Buck. “This one talking.”

“I’m kind of loud,” Buck agrees.

---

39 for 🦮:

---

Buck is actually sleeping when he gets the call. 

It’s been nine months since he lost his leg, and in that time, he’s sort of gotten used to a normal schedule. Shift work kind of fucked with his circadian rhythms, and even before firefighting, he’d never had a proper routine. If he has to give it to one aspect of being traumatically medically retired from the career he loved, it’s the fucking routine. Getting a full night’s sleep every night? Game changer. 

The point is, he’s asleep when it happens. Curled up with a fifty-five pound golden retriever, who is currently somehow the big spoon in this arrangement. And although nine months may have passed since he last took a call, when his phone starts ringing on his bedside table, Buck snaps awake with first responder levels of awareness. 

He scrambles to grab the device, disrupting Cranberry, who gives a loud, dramatic sigh. She stands, walks from Buck to the opposite corner of the bed, and flops down, annoyed. Fair enough. Her beauty sleep is important. 

“...Lo?” Buck slurs into the phone. He answers it without checking the caller. If it’s spam he’ll be pissed. 

“Buck?” Bobby’s voice responds. 

Buck feels suddenly twice as alert.

“Bobby? Is everything okay?”

“Have you been watching the news?” 

“No? It’s the middle of the night.”

“It’s not even eleven.” 

Okay. Well… 

“Bobby, what’s going on?” 

“It’s Eddie.” 

Buck goes rigid.

“Is… Is he?”

“He’s okay. But he’s had a very close call.” 

Buck sighs, relieved. That was the longest single second of his damned life. 

“Jesus.”

“And he’s asking for you.” 

[humanitys-strongest-bamf]

"get me a damned matcha" | Chapter 10: March I

{{ Chapter 9: February I | Chapter 11: April I }} Chapter Directory

the fucking feels i had while writing this chapter kdfskjf

also i used "aniki" for isabel's references to levi because the english translation is "big bro" and i like aniki better so i'm going with that lol

if you wanna get tagged for updates, fill out this form here!

✧ pairing ➼ levi ackerman x fem!reader, college x coffee shop x roommates!au ✧ summary ➼ After you find yourself plagued with misfortune due to struggles in your personal and family life, you find yourself needing to move last minute. As a junior in undergrad with little money and little social support, you considered yourself lucky when you found a sublease that was close to campus and was relatively cheap. Unfortunately, it seemed that your roommate did not seem to be so excited regarding your presence. ✧ content/warnings ➼ fluff, slowburn, mutual pining, idiots in love, mentions of floche being a dick, mentions of grief, graphic (ish) description of a fire, the one bed trope because i'm obsessed with overused cliches ✧ word count ➼ ~5.4k

It's been much too long since you went on a first date. It was at some point during high school when you had met Zack, but even that wasn't really considered a blind first date. The two of you had gotten to know each other through school and things just kind of happened. 

This case with Floche was different. You barely knew him other than the fact that he was persistent.

You were fumbling around your closet, frustrated because you felt like you couldn't find anything acceptable to wear. A part of you knew that what you wore at home when not in your pajamas was fine. Just wearing a t-shirt and jeans to a casual first date was more than okay, but something nagged at you to wear a blouse or skirt.

You were acutely aware of the fact that you dressed differently around others when compared to being around Levi or when you were at home. You were also self-aware enough to know that it had to do with a huge sense of shame. 

You remembered all the passive aggressive comments that Zack would make towards you unless you dressed and acted a certain way. That, plus the distasteful comments your aunt would always give you, meant that you were much too preoccupied with your appearance.

Levi glanced up at you with a disinterested expression as you ran out of your room for the fifth time asking if a certain outfit looked okay. 

He was currently sitting on the couch, pretending to be on his computer typing something, his eyes flashing up multiple times as you were running around the house trying to get yourself together.

"Are you seriously going out with him of all people?"

As soon as you had exchanged numbers with Floche, Levi had the suspicion that something was going on between the two of you, although you never explicitly said what it was. There was an uncomfortable and undesirable feeling building up in his gut, but he couldn't quite pinpoint what it was. His mood had soured for the day as soon as he saw you getting ready for this supposed first date. 

It must have been because you were being more rowdy than usual. That was the only explanation.

"What is that supposed to mean?" you asked with a frown.

"Just thought you'd settle for better," Levi said nonchalantly with a shrug.

He figured the increased intensity of his grumpiness was due to the fact that he would now have to deal with you struggling with navigating a relationship on top of everything else that he had to deal with, especially if it was with someone like Floche.

Deep down, Levi knew that his logic was flawed and that there was an additional factor that contributed to his unease regarding your potential new boyfriend, but he really didn't want to spend the brain power thinking about it.

"And what is that supposed to mean?" you asked, your defensive tone increasing with each additional exchange. "He's been..."

It took you a second to figure out the proper words to describe Floche.

"...nice and sweet," you finally said hesitantly.

Levi looked up at you with a skeptical expression, immediately being able to tell that you were trying to convince yourself of that as much as you were trying to convince him.

He didn't know Floche personally, but Levi was generally good at reading people, minus a certain undergrad that decided to suddenly intrude upon his life a few months ago.

Floche was what he would call a stereotypical fuckboy, and stereotypical fuckboys had a habit or pattern of trying to woo someone before disregarding them as soon as they got bored—the "swine" of undergrad culture, as Levi would call it.

"What?!" you scolded, getting increasingly irritated with your roommate's judgy expression.

"You know he's just going to screw you over, right?"

You scoffed.

"And how do you know that?"

"He's a stereotypical fuckboy, what else is there to know?"

The frustration in Levi's voice was beginning to match yours.

Floche wouldn't leave you alone at the Rumbling despite you repeatedly saying that you weren't interested in him. The rational part of you knew that Levi's instincts were right. This date was a bad idea, but part of you wanted to give Floche the benefit of the doubt, as uncertain as you were about it.

"I can take care of myself," you finally mumbled after a few seconds of silence.

Levi stared at you before looking back down towards his laptop without responding.

He knew that. Of course he knew that. You were more than capable of taking care of yourself, but he couldn't shake off that uncomfortable feeling of you going out with someone like Floche. He legitimately did think that you deserved better.

He didn't know who exactly would fit that or what characteristics they would have, but it definitely wouldn't be someone like Floche. The fact that he was even thinking about this was increasing his agitation. He wasn't a matchmaker and it also wasn't his business.

He heard the metal of your keys clicking against each other and he glanced up from his laptop again, watching you open the front door and promptly step out without a single glance back towards him, shutting the door a bit more aggressively than usual.

It seems he wasn't the only one that was pissed at the situation.

~~~~~

"No _____ today?"

"What?" Levi responded sternly as he glanced over at Nicolo, sounding oddly defensive over the innocent and casual question. 

"Just wondering since she's usually in around this time," Nicolo wondered as he wiped down his pastry counter. "Was curious when I noticed you didn't have a Matcha waiting for her."

Nicolo's comment seemed to bother Levi more than he was willing to admit. Levi immediately averted eye contact and went back to quietly working at his station. 

Nicolo's comment wasn't wrong. Levi did develop a habit of prepping a Matcha for you every day. It was always waiting for you by the time you arrived at the café. He even stopped charging you for it earlier last semester. It was a blatant habit to everyone except for Levi. 

The frown on Levi's face grew more and more apparent. He was rarely in a great mood, but he was much grumpier than usual today. He barely responded to any comments and was in his own head for the majority of the shift. He was even being rough and slightly aggressive with his drinks, when he usually handled his teas with great care. 

Something had clearly set him off before coming in for work today.

He heard the door to the café open.

"Hey look, it's aniki*!"

"Quiet down, Izzy!" 

Two people walked into the café that weren't regulars: a highschooler with red ponytails and a blonde male around Levi's age.

"You'll end up giving Levi a stroke with all the attention he's suddenly getting."

These two weren't regulars to the café, but they were regulars in Levi's life. They were what he had effectively called his found family. He had met Farlan in undergrad when he was in the middle of struggling with his lack of financial aid because of his good-for-nothing uncle. Farlan had dealt with something similar the year prior and was able to help him get something sorted out. The two of them had picked up Isabel a year or two later, with Farlan officially adopting her as a younger sister to get her out of an abusive household.

Levi meant what he had said to you all those months ago: not having a "family" didn't have to be lonely. 

He glanced down at his watch and saw that his shift was about over. He made eye contact with Farlan and nodded before walking into the employee storage room to take his apron off and clock out. 

Hanging out with Isabel and Farlan made his mood significantly better. After calming Isabel down, the three of them walked over to a diner around the corner to catch up. It had been almost a year since he had seen them last. Levi was just busy with his studies and time got away from him. It was one of the many things that he wanted to work towards changing.

The last time that he had seen either of them was last year during spring break. Since then, Farlan had been saving up to hopefully move into the city, and to get an apartment to help support Isabel when she went off to college, if that was the route she wanted to take. When they asked Levi what his plans were after graduation, he simply scoffed and mentioned that he didn't even want to think about prospects that far out, given how early he was into his graduate career.

Although both of them had significant life updates, when it came to Levi to talk about what had changed in the past year, he found himself unsure of what to say. He still lived in this cramped town and he still attended the same university. 

The only thing that really changed was you.

"Not really anything of significance," was all he said.

~~~~~

It was already 10pm by the time Levi got home. He had spent the evening hanging out with Isabel and Farlan, electing to go to a local arcade after grabbing dinner. It was late for him. He wasn't necessarily tired, given the fact that he never really slept anyway, but he rarely stayed out past 8pm voluntarily. 

Since it was so late, he was surprised when he saw someone in front of the door to the lobby of your apartment complex. 

Upon walking closer, he recognized their figure. It was you.

You were sitting on the steps leading up to the door, with your face buried into your knees. Your body was tense and you looked like you were shaking.

"What, did your dumb ass lock yourself out again?" he asked in a disinterested tone as he walked up to you.

You flinched as he stepped up to you and you looked up at him with a somewhat dumbfounded expression. Your eyes were slightly swollen and your nose was red. Your hair was messy and disheveled. Your eyes were wide, as if you were surprised to see him.

"Shit," you whispered as you immediately wiped away any stray tears. "Thought you'd be home already."

You found yourself out here because you weren't ready to see Levi. You thought he'd be home already, so you wanted to take some time to sit outside and gather yourself and make it look like you weren't sobbing for the past hour.

You didn't have to say what happened. He could already deduce that your date didn't go well. 

Levi chose not to say anything and just sat down on the steps right next to you.

"How long have you been here?"

"Not long," you said with a sniffle as you rubbed at one of your eyes. "Maybe like 45 minutes."

"Seems pretty long to me."

You slightly pushed against his shoulder with yours in retaliation for his retort. 

He was glancing down at you. Of course, he was curious over what happened, but didn't pry. He knew you. If you wanted to talk, you'd talk, whether he asked for it or not. It was incredibly annoying when the two of you first met, but it's one of the qualities he's come to appreciate about you. At least with him, you said what was on your mind.

"He blew me off," you spoke quietly as you looked down at the ground.

"Hmm?"

"Floche," you clarified, frowning. "He blew me off. And then not 10 minutes later, I find him on the phone, talking about I'm just-"

Your words trailed off as you felt your breath get caught in your throat. The tears were threatening to come on again.

Levi remained quiet but watched you intently, giving you time to gather yourself to form your words. Whether you were originally planning on telling him anything or not, he was there to listen. 

"-h-how I'm just a pity date," you whispered finally, burying your face in your knees again, almost as if you were ashamed to face Levi. "So I guess you were right."

Your voice came out muffled.

Levi wasn't surprised at this information. Those "I told you so" thoughts ran through his head. It had been less than 12 hours since he blatantly told you that Floche was going to do something to fuck you over—but he didn't voice that.

He watched you as you quietly cried, your face hidden underneath your arms. He felt an uncomfortable weight build up in his chest and he was almost tempted to even lift his arm in a vain attempt at comforting you. He didn't know if that would help or make it worse.

"I'm so fucking pathetic."

"What?" he asked after you finally spoke again.

"I couldn't even get this dumb sophomore to like me long-term. I don't know what I was thinking," you mumbled as you looked back up, using the sleeve of your jacket to wipe away the tears that had recently fallen. 

At this point, your cheeks felt sore and raw from how often you've had to wipe away the tears. You felt a headache rapidly approaching and there was so much pressure building up in your sinuses that you felt like your head was going to explode. 

"I think I was lonely and wanted to forget the shit that's happened in previous relationships," you muttered quietly. It was unclear if you were talking to Levi or yourself. "And of course that blew up in my face. It was dumb of me to think otherwise. It's just how things always are and always will be."

Levi didn't speak at first, but his eyebrows scrunched together at your comment as he looked at you with skepticism on his face. He wasn't sure what merit your comment had or what was going on through your head to make you want to say something like that.

Whatever you were referring to within yourself seemed irrelevant as to why your date fell apart to him. The only factor that contributed to that was the fact that Floche was a dick. Nothing that you did or didn't do was to blame. The fact that you spoke in such a fatalistic way confused the shit out of him.

"Well, what are you going to do now?" he asked in a matter-of-fact tone while continuing to look down at you. "Sit here all night?"

Your finger tapped on your knee as you remained silent, as if you were nervous to say what was on your mind. 

"Can you...can you stay by me?" you finally asked.

Levi scoffed.

"We live together, where the fuck am I going to go?"

"I mean here," you said with a frown. "Can you stay with me for a bit?"

Levi blinked at you a few times, as if he was genuinely surprised by the request. After a few seconds he cleared his throat and nodded.

You responded by shuffling a bit closer to him. Before you knew it, you found yourself leaning on him with your head resting against his shoulder. He was leaning back and propping himself up with his arms, which made contact with your back. 

Having him this close felt oddly natural. You just naturally leaned into him and he naturally drew you in. You didn't tense upon feeling him and he didn't pull away when you leaned into him. There was no tension or awkwardness. There was just...him—and that was exactly what you needed right now.

You took a deep breath, appreciating how unexpectedly nice it felt to be against him.

You mumbled something underneath your breath.

"What?" Levi asked.

"I wish more guys were like you," you mumbled as you twiddled your thumbs together.

Levi glanced down at you without moving, not really knowing how to respond.

"Even though you can be a bit of an ass."

He rolled his eyes and slightly nudged at you in protest. Given the fact that you were leaning on him, you were rudely removed from your comfortable position, although it was only for a moment, with you immediately falling back into your original spot.

If you weren't so caught up in your own head, you might've noticed just how closely you were leaning against him or the fact that he was leaning forward to be closer to you instead of leaning further back and away.

If you weren't so caught up in your own head, you might've noticed how comfortable you were around him, or how interacting with him no longer felt effortful.

If you weren't so caught up in your own head, then you might have been able to realize that you really wouldn't mind if you had someone like him be a bit more involved in your life.

Being around him was easy.

~~~~~

There was too much chaos around you. The smell of smoke and gasoline permeated the air. There was a ringing in your head and you couldn't actually hear anything. Your vision was blurry.

You vaguely heard your parents call out your name before everything faded to black. 

You took a sharp inhale and shot straight up in bed, heaving. Your pulse was going through the roof and you felt like you were drenched in your own sweat. 

You were in your bedroom. The lights were off and it was in the middle of the night. 

There was no fire. There was no smoke or gas. There was no one that called your name.

You looked forward with unfocused eyes as you tightly gripped onto the blanket.

It was the fourth or fifth time that you have had this nightmare within this one night alone. Every time you closed your eyes, you saw some vague scene that involved a plane crashing into a fire before everything rushed past you and left you standing alone. 

You weren't there for the scene of your parents' death, so the visualization was different every time. You could remember the dream in vivid detail every single time. You could barely control your shaking and you had lost track of when the tears first started streaming out of your eyes. 

Looking at the clock, you saw it was still early into the night: 1am. At this rate, you wouldn't last the night. You kept waking up every twenty minutes from the same nightmare and would wake up more and more distressed every single time. 

You didn't want to go back to sleep, but you didn't want to just be alone in your room the entire time either. While the nightmare had a weaker hold on you while you were awake, you still couldn't get it out of your head.

You sniffled and wiped away your tears for the millionth time that night. You weren't sure what to do. You couldn't focus enough to do any work or to even scroll mindlessly through your phone.

Someone shuffled on the other side of your bedroom wall and you glanced over towards Levi's room. He was awake. Of course he was awake.

Without thinking, you got up out of your room, grabbed the throw over blanket from the couch, and walked towards his room. You raised your hand to knock on his door.

You froze and hesitated. While you had gotten up from your bed and moved to this physical location without a second thought just a moment ago, now you were questioning why you were even here.

This is stupid. Why am I bothering him?

"What do you want?" 

You heard his voice and froze, realizing that he had heard and likely saw you fumbling around through the open crack in his door. You glanced inside and saw that he was sitting on his bed, reading.

You were kind of shy about what it was that drew you to his room and looked towards the ground, unsure of how to explain yourself.

Levi finally glanced up towards you.

"Spit it out," he said curtly.

"I..."

He had heard you tossing and turning throughout the past hour or two, so he figured it had something to do with not being able to sleep, although that still didn't explain why you were suddenly standing in his doorway.

"I don't want to be alone," you mumbled quietly. A part of you hoped that he didn't even hear you, but he did.

Levi blinked at you a few times, the frown disappearing off his face. Given the combination of the tossing and turning and how upset you seemed from just your body posture alone, he implicitly understood what was going on.

Even if it had nothing to do with the nightmares, you just weren't in a great state and he was able to tell.

"Come in," he mumbled and sighed.

You slowly scooched your way into his room.

Not wanting you to sleep in the chair, he scooched towards the edge of the bed and then patted his hand down on the opposite side. 

"Just don't get the sheets dirty. I just did the laundry."

If you weren't so distressed, you'd probably make some snarky comment regarding being careful to not get his sheets "dirty", but you instead just silently crawled onto his bed, wrapping yourself in the throw over blanket you brought over from the couch.

Seeing that you were settled, he shuffled and began to get up to go read in the chair to give you space.

However, before he could even throw his feet over the side of the bed, he felt you grab at his arm.

"Wait," you said quietly with uncertainty and a hint of fear in your voice, "don't go."

His eyes went from looking at your hand on his arm to your eyes.

"Please?"

An annoyed expression appeared on his face, although it wasn't directed at you for once. He silently cursed at himself as he laid back down, being pissed that he gave into you—but at the same time, he understood.

You just needed someone to be next to you.

It wasn't like you took up that much space anyway. He continued reading his book as you tightly hugged your blanket, struggling to fall back asleep. You were still scared to close your eyes.

His eyes flashed down towards your figure as he noticed you still shuffling restlessly.

"If you can't sleep, get up and do something."

He's fought with insomnia long enough to be able to tell when it was just a night where it was difficult to sleep and when it was a night in which he wouldn't be getting any sleep at all. Most of all, he knew it was no use tossing and turning in bed for the entire night—might as well get up and try to walk off some of the restlessness.

You buried your face into his pillow, frustrated. 

You were immediately hit with a mix of various scents: fresh laundry, the residual musky scent of his cologne from his clothes that smelled...smooth? You couldn't quite put words to it. It brought you a weird sense of comfort.

"I keep dreaming about my parents," you mumbled, your voice getting muffled through the pillow.

He glanced down at you.

"Yeah?" he asked, closing his book and putting it on his nightstand. 

"The way they died," you muttered, looking up from the pillow, although half your face was still buried. "I haven't really thought about it since high school, but the dreams kept on coming tonight."

You groaned.

"This has only happened a few times, but it's terrible when it does."

He watched as your eyebrows furrowed together into a frown. You were glaring at his headboard now.

"It's been years already," you grumbled. "You'd think I'd be over it by now, but I'm not and I hate that I'm not."

A part of you knew that the only reason that you were this emotionally vulnerable was because of the bullshit that had happened with Floche earlier in the night throwing your entire body out of whack when it came to emotional processing. Everything stung more than it would have otherwise.

Now that you thought about it, the few other times that you did have nightmares usually occurred right after you had a big fight with Zack.

"What have you done before?" Levi asked, nudging you.

"What?" you asked, finally lifting your face from his pillow.

"You mentioned this has happened a few times? How did you cope?"

You looked away from him, thinking for a few seconds over how to respond, or even trying to recall what you did previously.

"Nothing really," you finally said. "My...My ex didn't really want to deal with me when it happened, so I'd either sleep on the couch or just stay up for the rest of the night. Eventually it'd go away."

The frown on Levi's face returned upon hearing about Zack's behavior towards you when distressed. Not wanting to "deal with you" seemed like shit behavior at best.

"You said you lived with your ex before here?"

"For around two years," you said with a nod before pausing. "The more I think about it, the more I realize that it wasn't the best time."

"Living with them?"

You gave Levi a grim expression.

"He wasn't particularly the best boyfriend either."

An empty look appeared in your eyes as you recalled memories of your relationship with Zack. It had started out normal, but quickly evolved into a relationship that was controlling in which Zack was a combination of being a dick, negligent, jealous, and an unhealthy mix of other types of controlling behavior that could only spell out the word 'shitshow'.

"Whatever," you mumbled, your mood now considerably worse. You laid back down to try to sleep again.

"I journal."

Levi spoke up before you could fully lay back down.

You gave him a confused look.

"Or grab an ice cube. Worst case, I go on a drive."

It's been a while, but having recurrent nightmares wasn't an unfamiliar experience for Levi. He's dealt with them long enough and often enough that he was able to come up with some quick coping skills to help calm his mind down. It was similar to when he used box breathing to calm you down from an anxiety attack. He had learned all this through experience. He knew what you were going through—particularly when it came to the untimely (and to be quite frank, traumatic) death of a parent figure.

You remained silent as you laid back down, facing away from him, repeating what he said in your head as you drew circles with your finger on the sheets. Levi also happened to deal with the same thing. You weren't sure if it was just the universe playing an ironic joke on you at this point. 

You heard him get up to switch off the lights before coming back to lay down on the opposite side of the bed.

"Remember: if you can't sleep, go do something."

Despite the apparent persistence of your insomnia and the anxiety that would arise any time you closed your eyes, the knowledge of what Levi had told you, plus his consistent presence next to you, eventually did lull you into the calm of the sleep that your body and mind so desperately needed.

~~~~~

You were fast asleep and for once, so was Levi.

Levi's insomnia was generally relentless. This was the first time in months that he was able to stay asleep for more than 20 minutes, not to mention two hours. 

Even when he did fall asleep, he couldn't ever say that it was comfortable, but that's how he felt right now. He felt at peace for once and he found himself actively not wanting to open his eyes. He rarely got to fall asleep as well as he did just now and a part of him wanted to cherish it.

He was warm in a lulling and comfortable way that was cozy and pleasant. It was a strange sensation for him. 

He finally peeled his eyes open and completely froze once he realized there was another person in his bed.

Levi was momentarily confused as to where he was or who it was that he currently had his arm wrapped around. You were pulled up against him, with his arm wrapped around your waist. His face was buried in your hair, which smelled like your bodywash and the lotion that he usually got annoyed of smelling in the bathroom. It smelled oddly nice now.

His face flared up once he realized what was happening. He immediately pulled away, taking care to not accidentally wake you up. He cursed to himself, annoyed that he even let you sleep in his bed with him. 

He groaned as he began to sit up and get off the bed, rubbing his eyes with his hand to try to shake his nerves off. He should've just kicked you out once he decided to also sleep. 

He froze as you began to shuffle in your sleep, watching as you rolled over to face him. He looked at your face that was relaxed, with the stress from the former night and proceeding nightmares nowhere to be found. He held his gaze there for a few seconds.

Levi wasn't an idiot. He knew that he cared for you in some capacity now, although he wasn't entirely sure how he felt about that development. It just brought complications in his life that he didn't need.

It also didn't help that he wasn't entirely grossed out by the fact that he had woken up with you in his arms. In fact, the only part that did gross him out was that he technically did it without you knowing or prompting for it.

He felt heat slowly rising up into his cheeks again while looking at you.

You actually looked quite adorable when you were able to sleep peacefully like this.

Levi immediately planted his face into his hand upon having that thought, holding himself there in frustration. 

He peeked at you through his fingers, confused and irritated over the thoughts swirling around in his head. He vigorously shook his head after a few seconds, as if he was trying to literally shake the thoughts out of his head. 

Levi rolled over towards his nightstand and tapped on his phone to check the time: 4am. He had fallen asleep for around two hours and it was too early for him to realistically get up if he didn't want to be absolutely miserable the next day.

He sighed and got up off the bed, picking up the edge of the blanket and bunching it up so that it was bundled in between his body and yours so that he didn't end up accidentally cuddling you again. 

His sleep for the next few hours felt more typical to his usual nights: simply drifting in and out every 20-30 minutes.

When you finally woke up, Levi had already gotten up. He was next to you, reading in bed again. There was a cup of tea next to him, indicating that he had been up for a while—or at least long enough for him to brew the beverage for himself. 

"About time," he grumbled without looking down at you.

"Hmm?" you mumbled groggily as you tried to rub the sleepiness from your eyes.

"You were hogging the blankets all night," he said with a frown, blatantly ignoring the fact that you had technically brought your own blanket into his room. "Barely got any sleep. Get out."

You turned to look at him, matching his frown.

"Liar. I heard you get up and lay back down earlier."

You weren't completely awake for it, but you vaguely remembered feeling Levi shuffle around before laying back down. You knew in some capacity that he had actually gotten some sleep.

Levi stared at you with a blank expression.

"...Whatever," he eventually mumbled. "Think what you want."

He was caught off-guard by your comment. He wasn't sure what disturbed him more: the fact that he had you pulled up against him or the fact that you were somewhat awake while he was having those conflicting thoughts.

He was beyond irritated at himself. He let you into his room and sleep in his bed next to him because he knew that you were scared to be alone, and what made it more distressing was that he did it because he didn't want you to be scared or to feel alone.

Levi Ackerman couldn't deny that he cared about you—and he absolutely hated that he cared.

#: @levisbrat25 @gothgril69 @sckerman @berrijam @notgoodforlife @meowjaa @averysmolbear @roseofdarknessblog @bejewelledd @hhighkey @ayame236 @sad-darksoul @velouria17 @kamyru @l1zk4 @layenacreates @lamees004 @whoami-72 @highgoon69 @chaotic-on-main @levishotgf @nube55 @chosos-mascara @heichoucleanfreak @svftackerman

[allyriadayne]

ok rank the hotd small council members based on how much they fuck, it's more about the vibes than anything else. this is only for the those with official titles tho so no alicent, rhaenyra or aemond sawry. and yes i'm mostly asking this for the lyonel and ironrod face off.

THANK YOU

lyonel 100% that man is a whole slut and keeps a discreet merchant widow in KL whom he sees pretty regularly even if he has wife #3 at home. one thing is procreation sex and another hobby fucking, lyonel enjoys both but understands that he might not find them with the same person 💔 he's currently looking for lucky number 4 so if you are interested you can send your resume to bluebeardstrong at smallcouncil (.) we

ser harrold. he fucked so much he had to make a lifelong vow to never do it again. amen. this raw sexual energy is why criston is so bothered by him two opposites make a negative.

corlys. i know he and rhaenys have crazy acrobatic old people sex when they are not angry with the other. viserys can't stand it.

otto. he jerks off a lot A LOT, but he doesn't fuck physically. he's only this high because i believe with all my heart this only changed after his wife died so he has to sadly live a celibate life where he plays complex psychosexual games with his daughter. it counts, okay?

tyland. this hurts me, me tyland's #1 fan. but he doesn't fuck at all. he WOULD, if only given the chance (only reason why he's this high) i know he has the potential to be great but he's just too goofy and a nerd who is obsessed with the stepstones. need to someone to fuck the goofy out of him.

viserys. he fucks, just nobody is happy about it.

ironrod. CONTROVERSIAL. jasper wylde's thing is that he apparently fucked a lot. we might not know if mushroom's claims are true but i chose to not believe it only because he really doesn't look like he fucks in the show. he didn't know when to shut up during ep 9 i don't think he knows how to fuck either. sorry ironrod truthers.

lord beesbury. he's old, he's tired, he absolutely doesn't.

orwyle. doesn't fuck, he takes his maester job seriously.

[intothewickedwood]

🐈‍⬛ 🌻 😇 👥️ 🎶 for the ask game <3

Thank you so much for the asks! <3 :D

🐈‍⬛ animal

My favourite animal is a cheetah! I'm just so impressed by their speed and how they run. If I had a mutant power, I'd want it to be super speed. So I want them to teach me there ways!

😇 blorbo

Right now, my The Wilds hyperfixation is so strong I can think of practically nothing else (oopsie). But yes! I love all the Wilds girls but Toni Shalifoe is my favourite <3. Honestly, she might have taken the crown of favourite character of all time at this point. Just gaaah. Such a softie underneath all that understandable anger. Cares so much for those she loves. I love her and all the layers of her character.

Before I watched the Wilds I got really into Legacies again (by finally watching s3 and s4). Absolutely obsessed with Lizzie Saltzman! Very relatable in some regards. Absolutely hilarious! Has so much pain and so many deep insecurities.

Alice Jones from Once Upon A Time, (my beloved) <3! A silly who has suffered too much!!

Chelsea Daniels from That's So Raven. She's so endearing to me. The silliest of sillies. Raven is a very close second, though.

Natalie Goodman from Next To Normal. Relatable in an ansty way.

Peter Simmonds from Bare: A Pop Opera. So relatable. A Cinnamon Roll <3.

Kate Dalton from We Are The Tigers. Sarcasm queen.

Vincent Lin From Adamandi. They may be a murderous blorbo. But they're my murderous blorbo.

Circe from Epic: The Musical. She's just so cool.

Draculaura from Monster High. Again, so cool and I love how much she loves her friends.

Chloe Sullivan from Smallville. Big influence on me growing up. Though I probably shouldn't have been watching Smallville at 9. She just cared so much about those she loved.

Simon Tudor from Jeopardy. His character development is everything <3.

Cloe From Bratz. The biggest drama queen ever and I love her for it.

Kurt Wagner from X-Men Evolution (and just x-men in general). He's such a silly guy.

Shalimar Fox from Mutant X. The most badass, protective queen to ever.

And that's all I can think of, but they're in no particular order. Except Toni. Toni gets the number 1 blorbo badge.

🌻 flower

I don't know much about flowers but I really like the look of Plumeria.

👥️ otp

So many! I shall limit myself to one per show.

Shoni!! (from The Wilds). I think they have made it to number 1 otp status!

Snowing from Once Upon A Time. But also shout out to Curious Archer!

Mizzie from Legacies! Still can't believe they got to be endgame!! I thought it was just gonna be hopes and dreams but the way I screamed my head off!! I love an unrequited love storyline but I love it even more when it then becomes requited. He thought the world of her and then she realised she felt the same about him too and it was beautiful and I cried (and screamed).

Natalie x Henry from Next To Normal. He's just so supportive of her and would do anything to make sure she's okay and that makes me want to cry into my cereal.

Peter x Jason from Bare: A Pop Opera. Everything hurts. But their chemistry was of the charts and they were so in love and I am in pain.

Cheer Wives from We Are The Tigers. They were sooooo bad for each other but needed each other? It was a mess but I was so very there for it.

Quincent from Adamandi. I am once again in so much pain. I can't get over how beautiful the lyrics they sang were when referencing each other.

Freffy from Skins. The way he cared for Effy D,:. He would haved moved mountains just to make her smile. My heart will forever be broken over what happened to Freddie. He deserved so much better.

Dracudeen. Just the whole of 'This is Not How Or Story Goes.' There was no hetrosexual explanation for that and Clawdeen nearly died to save her!

Chlark from Smallville. Next to Simon x Chrissie, they were one of my first otps. No one did friendship like them. But I always wanted it to be more. That whole unrequited thing that was never really given a chance to become requited.

Edited to add: Chlavis! I now one cannot have 2 otps that include the same character but I always go back and forth between which I like best. Chlavis' story was so intense and traumatic but at least it ended up being requited this time around! Extremely requited!

Simon x Chrissie. Tfw the two most terrible people you'd never wanted to be stranded in the wilderness with have the most beautiful, unrushed character development and learn to care for people other than themselves as they slowly fall in love, when there was merely the shallowest one-sided crush you ever did see there before. The way they became heroes <3. And the way Simon just didn't know how to be without Chrissie but persisted in trying to save her when chances were beyond slim. I miss them so much and need to rewatch <3.

Harlan x Cyrus. They had so much chemistry and genuinely had a connection and now we'll never know what happened to them. I wish we got to know them better. Darn you Amazon!

Cloe x Jade from Bratz. It was more of a case of all the unwritten fanfiction I had in my head for them as an 11 year old. But I only let it get as gay as Monster High 2 at the time, which is actually very incredibly gay, so I don't know who my brain was trying to fool.

Lance x Kitty from X-Men Evolution. They had a really interesting connection and were drawn to each other.

🎶 musical artist

I mostly listen to musical theatre songs but my favourite band has always been S Club 7. I'm not sure I have an overall favourite solo artist. Maybe James Morrison!

Thank you again for the asks! They were such a blast to answer!

[kings-highway]

slaps u with the "have u considered...." beam and the rarepair i raise u is iwaken. thoughts? :3

hmmmm mhm mhmmmmmm 🤔

I would be lying if I said they hadn't crossed my mind before, but that is mostly due to the very specific niche friendground of Iwa-Suga-Kenma-Tendo-Akaashi I am obsessed with. As a specifically romantic and monogamous ship... let me see...

I actually think I like them. I'm struggling to see if they would have much in common, but I'm not sure they'd need to. I can see Kenma absolutely curling up against Iwaizumi while he plays a video game and Iwaizumi is distracted watching a movie or something and they're not very touchy-feely people but they will DRAPE themselves over each other.

I think Kenma would absolutely be able to get him into video games. Iwa is already like kinda a closet nerd, and he finds Kenma just too cute to resist so he ends up playing any game he wants and getting SO invested in winning, but Kenma keeps whipping his ass at everything they play. He gets legit, like, actual mad at losing, but somehow his anger over losing really helps Kenma recenter video games as "just games" so HE ends up being the one to say something like "hey, lets go get ice cream instead" and then finds that he actually really likes listening to Iwaizumi talk about whatever shenanigans the Seijoh boys have been up to.

I think they both related to each other a lot, and especially because they have really intense bestfriendships. Like not only do they shittalk the fuck out of Kuroo/Oikawa to vent, but I think they would really understand the difference between friendships and romance. Like when Iwaizumi is full on sobbing because Oikawa is moving around the world, Kenma has ZERO jealousy, because he actually understands, and just holds him. And when Kenma tells him he's canceling date night because Kuroo had a family emergency, Iwaizumi has NO resent towards them, because he actually understands (and has done the same.) I think this comes on the heels of a lot of failed relationships being really jealous and bitter about them having "other top priorities" but both Kenma and Iwa would be totally okay sharing the top space on ocassion because they mutually know that their romance and love is not mutually exclusive with the really intense platonic loves they have.

I think Iwa would just fucking love picking Kenma up. Kenma would hate it but Iwaizumi would be grinning so much.

Mostly when I imagine them, they're cuddling and sharing very embarassed first kisses and having late night slumber parties. I think Iwa would be surprised by how much he likes Kenma, but nobody would be more surprised than Kenma when he catches himself daydreaming about kissing Seijoh's ace. Dude would be straight in denial (though I also imagine he makes the first move. Very nervously and almost unable to speak, tugging on Iwaizumi's school jacket to get his attention and asking for his number. Kuroo has never seen him ask for anyone's number before. He's in awe. He is very proud of him tho. Meanwhile Oikawa and the rest of the Seijoh team razz the SHIT out of Iwaizumi for having his "new cutiepie boyfriend WHO was THAT he's ADORABLE." Iwaizumi would be such a furious shade of red.

Overall ratings:

For me, personal Interest: 5/10

Concept/Potential: 9/10