#okay I'm done now. Rant over.

[calibrationneeded]

Sometimes I’m normal and other times I remember Dean’s canon daughter and how Sam never got hounded for killing her by the fanbase but Dean is still treated like mayor of cunt city for mistreating Jack. Obviously two wrongs don’t make a right and Dean was very much in the wrong for how he treated Jack, but the fact Sam is seen as better than him for it despite doing arguably the same thing rubs me the wrong way. And this isn’t so much a dig at Sam as a character but rather a commentary on how the fanbase kind of puts him on this weird pedestal.

He killed Emma. Sam made up his mind about Jack in the same amount of time he made up his mind about Emma, but chose to kill her and empathize with Jack. Dean didn’t have an obligation to Jack, he didn’t know him when they first met, but Sam had an obligation to both Dean and Emma as a brother and an uncle.

I know he acted to save Dean, however- as a sibling, I know that if I were to kill my hypothetical niece or nephew to save my sibling that they would hate me forever, and that is a fact that would alter my idea on how to approach the situation.

Often Dean is viewed as this huge piece of shit for his behavior towards Jack in the beginning, because “how dare he assume the antichrist and son of the guy who killed Cas would be not great” but meanwhile Sam gets off with not so much as a mention to the fact he killed a young girl because she was a monster.

Where are the lines drawn? What makes a monster a monster? Are they less of one when you see yourself in them? Or was Dean in the wrong because Jack became a more important character. Hell, maybe it all ties back to the fact that Supernatural seems to hate women, who knows.

[allgirlsareprincesses]

I don't go here and I realize I'm in the minority with this opinion, but it looks to me like GRRM is just trying to distract from the fact that he's never going to finish his f*cking story. I hardly think he's in any position to criticize someone who may have created a flawed product but at least GOT IT TO THE AUDIENCE. Also he's a misogynistic, entitled hack and I will die on that hill.

[monstermoviedean]

coworker was going on and on about the importance of regulating your nervous system today and i'm thinking 1) you don't know what that means and 2) if i were a teenager and someone told me to regulate my nervous system i would start throwing things. frankly it's hard not to throw things when hearing that as an adult.

[moonchild-in-blue]

I haven't really done much art for tumblr (at all) lately, cus life, but! Here's a lil something I've been working on (it's a Xmas gift) 💙

(also peep that lil January calendar painting 👀 i did mini squares for each month for myself, because I need to have a physical one always, and they each have their own colour 🥺)

[ihamtmus]

.

[fuckyeah-bears]

literally exerting sooo much self control and impulse control not to snap back at idiots replying stupid shit on my posts. people are annoying as fuck sometimes. like if you have 'commentary' about how i interact with shit and answer asks, you can literally fuck off. i spend absurd amounts of time trying to be nice and provide specific bears and nice replies to people at their request. and then the one time i get slightly irritated people freak the fuck out and start lecturing me about being 'unprofessional' and 'rude' and 'obnoxious' like im sorry but fuck all the way off. this is fucking tumblr. nothing about tumblr is professional. i don't have to provide y'all with bears. i don't have to make a pinned post to explain myself. newsflash, i already have a pinned post that i'm rather fond of. i don't have to act or respond to things any kind of way. i choose to respond kindly with nice encouraging messages and provide bears, and spend ridiculous amounts of time looking up specific requested bears for people. i choose to do that because i want to make people happy and spread some positivity. i choose to do that because this world is shit as fuck sometimes and i want to create a little space free from drama and negativity where people can enjoy bears and get a little reprieve from this shit ass world and the bullshit of life. i choose to do all that because i want to. but heaven forbid i'm not in the mood 100% of the time to always be perfectly nice and happy and go-lucky. and then i get shits giving me crap over it like i'm somehow obligated to do all this shit for free and always respond exactly the way they desire me to. and it is pissing me the fuck off. because i genuinely put so much effort into bearotonin and trying to make other peoples' lives better in this one tiny small way. i have a life y'all. i have a job and school and an actual adult life with responsibilities. but i choose to do this because i love bears and i think bearotonin is hilarious and making people happy is something that makes me happy. but i don't owe anyone anything, and if you have complaints about the way i comport myself or respond to messages or posts i make, well you can fuck off. i don't want to hear it. you don't need to reblog my posts and tag them with little messages about how you disagree, or write replies/comments saying i should act better or should be expecting this, or send me stupid asks. you can literally keep your negative thoughts to yourself. because people need to fucking realize that your tags are not private. if you put them on a post, the op is going to see them. and in this case, the op is going to be super pissed off by them.

to be clear, 99% of people are awesome and super nice and i love y'all dearly (and this post is absolutely not about you in any way), but the other 1% are really getting on my fucking nerves right now and it is taking a lot of effort to not engage with them directly and tell them to fuck off to their faces

[whoa-where-did-the-pancakes-go]

I'd love to interact with the ethel cain fandom on here a little more but im lowkey kind of worried about my reception from certain groups of people bc im like. a guy.

[tjerra14]

sometimes I really wish there was a mandatory emotional support and grief counselling training course at uni the way that "pour distilled coffee over some sugary pills and prescibe those to a fictional cow" galenics session was mandatory

[fatelcved]

tbh i understand that character deaths have to happen occasionally, but sometimes a creator will go and kill a character prior to using them to their full potential?? and it won't even hit hard bc it's not a purposeful decision. it's not " it's so tragic that gary died before his time and this arc/story examines that tragedy and how it could have been avoided. " it's " it's so tragic gary died. woulda been more tragic if i put in more work. " like i'm not gonna be sad that you killed gary if you don't do the groundwork before/after. i'm gonna be mad bc you killed a character, and it was a wasted death bc nothing interesting or meaningful happened as a result, or it didn't even need to happen.

i dunno?? maybe people will disagree with me, but i feel like so many series and movies will fall into killing characters for shock value -- or maybe there's a reason, but they poorly execute it by rushing the story or failing to ever tell the story beyond " oh these two mean a lot to each other " without much detail. and that's so frustrating when you get attached to those characters and i'm sorry to rant all of a sudden asdfg i'm just feeling salty as heck over this rn (｡•́︿•̀｡)

[hauntedfalcon]

I'm going fucking inSANE no one FUCKING listens to me and I get to fucking SUFFER for it

[izupie]

also for the love of god don't be self deprecating over and over and over about your own writing as a joke

it's not funny ! it's not cute !

sure we all like to joke haha my writing is garbage but if you do it constantly it can be so so bad for you. you won't even realise when it stops being a joke inside your own head. if you're always criticising the way you write, even for the funnies, it can take all the joy out of it before you've even noticed. plus everyone around you will stop finding it funny very quickly, even if they don't say it out loud. trust me.

if you tell me you don't like your fic or the way you write, why will I decide I do??

if you're addicted to the validation of someone going 'nooo your writing is amazing!' then you need to address that because that's going to be a problem and you need to find a way out of that hole because it's not. good. for. you.

[someguywriting]

thinking about people who have very strong opinions on very inconsequential things for no particular reason

"if you like (x), I hope you die!" "if you like (ship), you're a terrible person!"

when you hear it like this, you think it's an exaggeration, but it's really a lot more common than you think

seriously just like.. chill, idk

go direct your energy to something productive like stopping climate change rather than telling me I'm a shit person for liking a ship of two fictional characters, or I dunno, go smoke some weed

[unnecessarilygrandiose]

.

[malachitezmeyka]

Trying to write but the combined noises of two clocks ticking out of sync, the fridge making loud fridge sounds and my grandma snoring in the other room are making it impossible to focus and my mind keeps wandering

[aso-bi]

Me when I finally finish the commission I was k*lling myself over

[crookedteethed]

18+ loss of virginity, mentions of non-con, brief smut descriptions

⋆ ★ Thinking about how the Rafe's would take your virginity. <3

Season One Rafe would so take your V card at one of the kook parties, or maybe even in the secluded rec room at the Country Club during Midsummer's. Either way, I can see you losing your virginity to him in a public place. Somewhere where his friends are too, so after he fucks you, he can immediately boost about it.

Ugh, I could see it now, his stupid hair slicked back, his suit bluer than ever, and that silly smile on his face whispering into Topper's ear: 

"Guess who I just had face down ass up on the pool table in the rec room." (Bonus points if you're the hottest girl on the island everyone's been trying to touch.) 

He'd nag you about having sex with him, especially if you'd been talking to one another for months (Not dating. Talking.) 

He would make pass after pass at you every time you'd make out with each other: His hand would sometimes snake its way underneath your skirt, and he'd press on your clothed mound with his thick fingers, or he would (very childishly) start popping you in the back with your bra strap to try to get you to take it off. He'd stopped when you went braless.

When telling season one Rafe that you were a virgin, you almost saw an uncontrollable smile creep onto his face--it's just something having ownership over ones very FIRST sexual interaction (This would be a recurring theme for him in each season.). 

But with that being said, this man would not go soft on you. 

Season Two Rafe, he's got a lot of shit on his plate: he wants to get in the good graces with his father, those stupid pouges have his gold, and he suspects that something could be wrong with him, but no one wants to listen to him. The last thing he needs is a girlfriend that won't put out.

In season two, Rafe knew you were a virgin, and he knew you'd been waiting until you had at least been together for a few months--which, surprisingly, he was okay with--as long as you two could do oral on each other--which you did. 

But one day, a violent fight between Rafe and his father broke out on a date night. 

You'd offer to reschedule the reservations you made for dinner--reschedule the whole day, but to your dismay, Rafe still wanted to go for it. 

It wasn't until after dinner when you were both sitting outside of Tanny Hill in Rafe's truck, that Rafe got himself worked up going over the events from earlier with Ward. 

It wasn't until you both were inside his house that he started complaining about other things--more evidently about you and your stupid virginity saving.

Nonetheless, you just let the boy rant because he was mad; it didn't stop you from your heavy make-out session on his bed later that night.

Something was particularly rough about this make-out session; every time he went to kiss your lips, his hand would wrap around your throat, and every time you protested, his other hand would cover your mouth. 

In the moment, it only felt right to Rafe to overpower you completely, hiking up your dress and pulling down your panties to your knees, along with his slacks and his briefs. 

He cooed you when you cried--as if he weren't the one inflicting your pain, he held you tight when you tried to push him away, and he'll whisper in your ear, "How could you hold out on me with such good pussy like this." every time you told him 'no."

You would almost lose your virginity to Season Three Rafe in a heated moment of vulnerability. 

Rafe would open up to you about his troubles, which ultimately led to him telling you about the bad things he's done to the pouges—to his sister—in the past and how bad he felt. 

And there was something so attractive about THEE kook king breaking down his exterior just for you. 

When the moment got heated with a shared passionate kiss, as Rafe lips left a wet trail down your neck, you moaned, "Rafe, I'm a virgin." and then he stopped. 

Rafe knew he wanted to take your virginity, but he didn't want to make any more brash decisions; he wanted your first time to be special. 

A month or so later, he takes you with him on a business trip to  Guadeloupe--he doesn't tell you what type of business he's doing; all you know is that when he's done, you can have him all to yourself. 

And fuck is he so charming. 

He rents a condo for you two, takes you shopping, and takes you to fancy dinners.

After being out all day, you'd come back to the condo with a trail of roses leading to the bedroom (very cheesy, but he's doing his best). 

Now, don't get me wrong. Just because season three Rafe did take the liberty of making your first-time special doesn't mean he will go all soft on you. 

He does let your cunt adjust to his length for a few slow strokes--until he's completely wrecking your shit--I'm talking about his tip kissing your cervix and him making you squirt for the first time.