#okay I know why he did the conferences
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Red tornado had the correct response to yj98 annoyance and then he set up parent teacher conferences only to attempt to help but those teenagers did not listen at all
#Yj98#thinking about the parent teacher conferences#Like why did he do that#Most of their mentors were in their absentee era#To be fair none of them listened to any other adults#red tornado#okay I know why he did the conferences#But also it was just so silly#Didnt dick end up going for Bruce?#Like that’s doubly not that kids dad
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wherever the roots may lead you | charles leclerc social media au
pairing: charles leclerc x antonelli!reader
when one takes an ancestry test they don’t usually expect to find out that their half brother is now racing in formula one…
MASTERLIST | TIP JAR
yourusername



liked by yourbff, user1 and 1,578 others
yourusername: the whole office decided to do an ancestry test - WHY IS MY HALF BROTHER KIMI ANTONELLI???
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user1: girl i follow you for your pasta recipes why am i expected to know who this man is
user2: he’s a formula one driver?
user3: he’s A BABY
user4: the way this did not answer a single question
yourbff: bro you’re italian, there’s probably hundreds of kimi antonellis
yourusername: no one asked you to be logical about this
yourbff: let’s just not claim a random 18-year-old without verifying it
yourusername: well in the short five minutes i’ve known of his existence i have googled him and all the dates line up
youbff: not to support this delusion but you two do look freakishly similar
user5: i fear my kimi stanship has led me to dark places
user6: for real why is this girl yapping
user7: idk how i got here but they do look like they could be related …
user8: if they are it’s still probably not the weirdest thing to happen in f1 this week
user9: someone needs to study the sport and as to why it’s so fucking weird
olliebearman: who are you and why have you stolen kimi’s face
yourusername: excuse me?
olliebearman: you are excused
yourusername: what?
olliebearman: you are claiming to be related to kimi but i happen to know everything ever about him sooooooooo where have you been all this time?
yourusername: well i kind of just found out about this so i don’t have an answer for you right now?
olliebearman: i’ve got my eye on you weirdo
yourusername: okay?
kimiantonelli: wait!!! ollie how did you even find this post it’s got like 2k likes?
yourusername: omg read?
olliebearman: well it just came up on my explore page?
yourusername: no the fuck it didn’t
olliebearman: EXCUSE ME MISS, KEEP YOUR BEAK OUT OF BEARNELLI BUSINESS
yourusername: you’re doing your business in my comment section?
user10: i swear these fools are meant to be at media day
user11: nothing stops for bearnelli chaos clearly
estebanocon: @olliebearman yo? we were meant to be filming like 20 minutes ago?
olliebearman: oh? i was busy
yourusername: busy getting on my nerves
olliebearman: WHO ARE YOU?
yourusername: you’re on MY INSTAGRAM PAGE
olliebearman: i am a child WATCH HOW YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT A CHILD
olliebearman: @charles_leclerc dad stop her now
charles_leclerc: why are you pinging me during the press conference
olliebearman: this is important !!!!
charles_leclerc: @yourusername oh hi
yourusername: hello ???
kimiantonelli



liked by olliebearman, charles_leclerc and 590,300 others
tagged: yourusername
kimiantonelli: i thought getting points on my debut would be the craziest part of my week but turns out i have a half sister i never knew about ??? watch your back paddock i don’t think you can handle TWO antonellis
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user12: wait so that trainwreck the other day was REAL?
user13: smile and wave girl i have no clue what’s going on
user14: we need a weekly episode of drive to survive at this point omg
yourusername: we haven’t even met yet
yourusername: i am very excited to
kimiantonelli: OF COURSE WE SHOULD BE EXCITED
kimiantonelli: i knew you were out there i could feel you in my waters
yourusername: i’m not sure you have waters? like anatomically?
kimiantonelli: well i knew you existed before your post so explain that atheist
yourusername: i’m just going to let you have this one i think…
kimiantonelli: that is VERY wise
user15: i am losing my mind over the fact that these kids are talking for the first time in instagram comments
user16: i honestly wouldn’t expect anything less from this crop of rookies
jackdoohan: please do not lump me in with this nonsense
kimiantonelli: so our family love is nonsense to you
yourusername: jack!!!! after everything …. i can’t believe this!
jackdoohan: we’ve never spoken before?
yourusername: well in my familial research i watched the rookie round table and you ranked highly to me… but i see
jackdoohan: wOAH PAUSE
jackdoohan: my apologies
kimiantonelli: they all come crawling back …
user17: what is actually happening?
user18: so like has anyone stalked this girl? who even is she?
olliebearman: y/n y/ln is a 26-year-old marketing manager who lives in london. she runs a pasta-themed instagram account to apparently page homage to her ‘italian heritage’. she has no kids and no boyfriend or girlfriend. by most accounts she doesn’t have many friends or hobbies or money?
kimiantonelli: that’s like… kinda hot?
yourusername: you do you i guess
yourusername: also like that’s such a rude write up on me ???
olliebearman: so you don’t think i’m hot
kimiantonelli: that’s SO rude y/n
yourusername: you’re EIGHTEEN??? and also have this weird tension with my brother… idk i’m not a therapist?
olliebearman: i’ll call my dad again
yourusername: oh the one from the other post? please! i think he’s the best thing i found on my f1 stalkfest
charles_leclerc: well well well, i’m charles
olliebearman: NO?
kimiantonelli: ollie you gotta let her have something!
olliebearman: but if she falls for his dorky charms that might make us incestuous ???
kimiantonelli: i don’t know what that word means
olliebearman: my dad, dating your sister?
kimiantonelli: @charles_leclerc you have to disown ollie now
charles_leclerc: okay, if i do that does that mean i can take y/n on a date
yourusername: DO IT NOW PLEASE
yourusername: woah! i mean, i’ll have to check my calendar
yourbff: she’s free, the lanky one was right, she doesn’t have many friends.
charles_leclerc



liked by pierregasly, kimiantonelli and 1,209,457 others
tagged: yourusername
charles_leclerc: lost a son and won a date. congrats on the promotion oscar!
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user19: we are moving so fucking fast
user20: well it’s on theme…
user21: well we need to go from rb19 to that fucking aston martin
yourusername: as far as first dates go … well i didn’t think we’d be babysitting a 23-year-old
charles_leclerc: he’s fragile right now
yourusername: and he needed his emotional support not-boyfriend there as well?
yourusername: and that emotional support not-boyfriend needed to bring his friend who brought his maybe-boyfriend who brought his ‘surrogate brother’ which is MY BROTHER?
charles_leclerc: i’m sorry?
yourusername: i’m starting to think attachment issues and homosexual tension is just part of the job description to work in formula one
alexalbon: i don’t think you’re wrong on that
charles_leclerc: honestly i did plan for just a romantic dinner but things came up!
oscarpiastri: well i’m kind of sorry for crashing your date but as previously stated i was in a crisis…
yourusername: you did cry… but i thought that was just to get charles to get you dessert?
oscarpiastri: you can’t prove that…
oscarpiastri: ALSO why are you just coming for me when the others crashed and without a good reason like me?
yourusername: true ….
landonorris: i was taken by oscar !!!!! not my fault
yourusername: you made me move from my seat across from charles because you didn’t ‘like the lighting’?
landonorris: well that was very kind of you
charles_leclerc: you basically sat on her until she moved
landonorris: well maybe you should have stood up for your date!
georgerussell63: considering how badly lando is digging his grave, i’ll just say sorry and that i wasn’t completely aware it was a date
yourusername: how was it not very obvious? we were at a CANDLE LIT DINNER WITH A TWO PERSON TABLE YOU DRAGGED OVER A TABLE TO SIT WITH US
alexalbon: in our defence we were only going to escort kimi there but the curiosity got too much…
yourusername: are you just attaching to kimi because i’m not going to get annoyed at him
alexalbon: …….. um no?
kimiantonelli: y/n he brought me dessert and a funky little drink - MARRY HIM
yourusername: that’s a little fast buddy
charles_leclerc: so you wouldn’t marry me?
yourusername: take me on another date, just me, and we’ll see
user22: she’s stronger than me i would’ve proposed right here right now
user23: nothing more 2025 than an instagram comment proposal
yourusername



liked by maxverstappen1, olliebearman and 23,091 others
tagged: kimiantonelli & charles_leclerc
yourusername: so who was going to tell me this f1 shit was this crazy?
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user24: actually thinking about it, this girl must be having such intense emotional whiplash
user25: legit because what do you mean like last week she didn’t know what f1 was but now she’s related to the best rated rookie and dating (?) charles leclerc
user26: when will these situations happen upon me
charles_leclerc: did i win you over this weekend?
yourusername: maybe?
charles_leclerc: maybe?
yourusername: okay, yeah
yourusername: but you could’ve let kimi through :/
charles_leclerc: that’s kinda not the game of the game
yourusername: but he’s my brother ?
charles_leclerc: you make a compelling point…
charles_leclerc: but, amor, i wouldn’t let my own brother overtake me
yourusername: i see…
yourusername: it was worth a try sorry kimi
kimiantonelli: fear not we can try again when he’s more in love with you
yourusername: for everyone’s information: i do genuinely like charles, this ^^ is a joke !!!!!!! i understand the sanctity of formula one and that no one would genuinely let another through based on such a situation
kimiantonelli: okay miss PR AND MARKETING
yourusername: oh buddy you should see my DMs, that was necessary
charles_leclerc: what ???
yourusername: babe your fans are great but like a good 5% of them are like genuinely insane, like 51/50 level
charles_leclerc: oh yeah… i’m sorry
yourusername: oh no worries i’d be just that crazy for you
charles_leclerc: you aren’t?
yourusername: i don’t need to be, i have you don’t i?
charles_leclerc: oh hehehehhehehehe, you do
user27: WRITE THAT DOWN WRITE THAT DOWN
user28: i’m scared of her, but i need to be her
user29: you can’t be that good at making pasta and have rizz and date charles leclerc
user30: i fear y/n might actually be sniped, she’s a triple threat
oscarpiastri: do you see why i needed emotional support?
yourusername: well yes i get that now
yourusername: but please refrain from crashing dates in the future unless you have let us know promptly
oscarpiastri: i knew i’d get you on side, the leclerc family love me
oscarpiastri: @kimiantonelli watch out, i might overtake you next
kimiantonelli: i will slash your tyres, y/n will bail me out
yourusername: will i?
kimiantonelli: so you don’t love me?
olliebearman: I TOLD YOU SHE WAS NO GOOD
yourusername: first of all, ollie - i thought i’d managed to get you on side with my offering of pasta. second, i love you the most on the grid kimi, i just do not have the disposable cash of a formula one driver
kimiantonelli: fine, you make a point
kimiantonelli: @charles_leclerc looks like it’s down to you now.
kimiantonelli: and you’d do anything for my sister, right?
charles_leclerc: ugh why are the rookies so crafty these days
yourusername: hmmmm?
charles_leclerc: YES I WOULD, FOR YOU
charles_leclerc



liked by pierregasly, kimiantonelli and 1,894,500 others
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charles_leclerc: follow wherever the roots may take you, because sometimes it might lead you to the best thing ever
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user31: i mean meeting your girlfriend through her doing an ancestry test to find out she’s related to your coworker is one hell of a meet cute i’ll give them that
user32: ‘wherever the roots may take you’ okay mr leclerc when did we become a poet
user33: let’s add it to the words of wisdom
user34: the ferrari garage WISHES they could be him
kimiantonelli: well, i am pleasantly surprised with how this all unfolded, you’re definitely the best choice on the grid
yourusername: awwwww kimi thanks !!!
charles_leclerc: thanks?
olliebearman: CHARLES IS THE BEST CHOICE ON THE GRID ????
kimiantonelli: you want to date my sister? i thought you liked another antonelli?
olliebearman: oh!
olliebearman: yes!
olliebearman: … another antonelli for sure
charles_leclerc: @yourusername do i say anything
yourusername: no i want to watch ollie suffer after he’s done nothing but come for me
charles_leclerc: okay, amor
user35: this is how all men should be
user36: AGREE WITH EVERYTHING I SAY
user37: so like… where do we find them because i fear there’s only two ferrari drivers and many of us
yourusername: well i am certainly glad i followed mine
charles_leclerc: led you right to me
yourusername: wouldn’t want to be anywhere else
charles_leclerc: hehehehehehe i guess i have that effect on people
yourusername: PEOPLE?
charles_leclerc: just you xxxxx
yourusername: that’s what i thought
charles_leclerc: speaking of you… when can you come to another race?
yourusername: i’m very sorry to say babe but i do have a job
charles_leclerc: NOOOOOOOOOOO
yourusername: i know :( i don’t dream of labour
charles_leclerc: what do you dream of?
yourusername: there’s this really sexy monegasque formula one driver who has an amazing accent and the cutest little dog. he’s super determined and sounds even sexier when he’s angry on the radio or celebrating a win. you might know him?
charles_leclerc: i might…
yourusername: well you should BACK OFF because he’s MINE
charles_leclerc: yes, yes he is
user38: so like … how do we get her on drive to survive
yourusername: oh you know netflix have been calling my phone
user39: LETS GOOOOOOO
yourusername: don’t celebrate too soon, because you won’t like me when i delete all the cute footage of charles, that’s for my eyes only
user40: i would want you dead, but also real
lewishamilton: ummmmm so when can you come back @yourusername he’s being pathetic again
yourusername: he’s always pathetic that’s what i love about him
lewishamilton: but it’s particularly bad now, he’s carrying a picture of you and leo (it’s VERY badly photoshopped)
charles_leclerc: hey! joris was busy i had to make it myself
yourusername: that’s cute bby don’t listen to him
charles_leclerc: yeah leave me alone lewis
lewishamilton: what the hell, sure
fin.
note: if you couldn't tell i'm a big kimi stan LMAO
#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#f1 instagram au#f1 x you#f1#f1 social media au#charles leclerc imagine#charles leclerc#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc fluff#charles leclerc x you#charles leclerc fanfic
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It was an average Monday morning when you, Nanami Kento's wife, were turned into a cat.
"An unusual Curse," Shoko had said, "not longer than a week, surely--"
"Not--not longer than a week?!" Kento spluttered, his glasses lopsided, and, dangled in front of him beneath the arms (legs-- legs, he reminded himself)...you.
You, with two pointed ears, a long whippy tail, your many toe-beans and a perturbed little head-tilt. On the doctors' office couch, a neatly folded (if a little furry) pile of your clothes.
"Meow," you had said.
"Don't 'meow' me," Kento spluttered again, fixing you with a stern look that barely overlaid his concern. You simply stared up at him, long, and feline, and unblinking...and reached out one little paw, pressing it onto the end of his nose.
Kento sighed; a bone-deep, weary sigh. Shoko put out her cigarette, speaking through a haze of smoke.
"Like I said. Give it a week, and Mrs.Nyanyami will be back to nor--"
"What did you just call her?'
+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+
Mrs.Nyanyami, the cat formerly known as Nanami Kento's wife, wanted for nothing.
"I think that tuna's more expensive than anything I've ever eaten," whispered Yuuji to Gojo. On the other side of the conference room, you sat upon the desk before Kento, waiting patiently for the next lump of tuna (meticulously cut into cat-appropriate cubes) to be delivered in his chopsticks.
As Kento's hand approached, you held it close with paw and claws, to steal the pink fish from him. He looked like a surgeon performing heart surgery.
"I just...dont know how he can look so serious while he's doing that," Gojo whispered back, to Yuuji's frantic nods. Still, they watched this freakish nature documentary with quiet obsession.
A higher-up sat down beside Kento, waiting for the meeting to begin. Jolting back, and grumbling, he did a double take.
"Young man-- you can't bring a cat to a Sorcerer's meeting--"
"That's not a cat," Kento snapped, frosty, "that's my wife."
And so began the rumour amongst the higher-ups, that Nanami Kento had gone mad.
+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+
"You should leave her at home--"
"--absolutely not--"
"--really, Nanami...just put the television on, she'll be fine--"
"--unequivocally, no--"
"--why not?!"
Silence. An awkward shuffle on Kento's thick chest. You peeked your head out of the pocket of the cat-carrying hoodie that Kento wore over his shirt and tie, and turned to Gojo with narrowed eyes.
"Meow," you had said, batting at Kento's strings, and hooking his tie out with your paw, to kick it to death with your legs.
"I agree," said Kento, whispering and scratching you beneath the chin until you purred, "he's wrong, isn't he? Stupid Gojo. You'd get lonely. You'd get bored. Yes you would..."
+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+
"Oh my god...he's gorgeous...you should get his number--"
"--I'm not brave enough...you go. I'll get our coffees."
"--okay, okay..." The woman cleared her throat, sweeping her hair behind one ear with her best smile. Kento looked up from his coffee, with one finely raised eyebrow.
"Can I help you?" He lied, unwilling to help anyone at all before he'd finished his croissant.
"Hi, yeah, I just...can't help but notice you're sitting alone, and my friend-- well she-- she just wondered if she can have your number, and--"
The woman broke off into shrieks. Climbing up her leg, all claws and furry vengeance, was you. She shook her leg, shrieking. You hissed. Your cup of steamed milk clattered over the table, slopping everywhere.
"--o-oh my god-- oh my god, what the hell is this cat doi--"
"I'm sorry," Kento sighed, not sorry at all and dabbing his mouth with a napkin and doing absolutely nothing to help, "it's my cat. She doesn't like company--"
Hisses. Claws. Dirty feral yowls.
"Get this fucking thing off me--"
"I can't take you anywhere. No more steamed milk for you."
+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+
At times, you seemed so human. At others, undeniably cat.
Kento would wake to clattering from the kitchen, bleary and feeling around for you, only to remember, and trace his hand up to the furry, round little patch you'd leave behind on your pillow. He allowed himself just a moment of misery, before getting up.
He followed the sounds of cups and kettle and coffee machine, and leaned against the doorway with sleep-mussed hair and a squinting, teenagerish glare.
You were up on the counter, all four paws and determination. You had gotten as far as switching the kettle and coffee machine on, and heaving the cupboard open with your tiny limbs. Kento watched as you tipped your head sideways, managing to drag two mugs out in your teeth. He winced as they almost smashed upon the counter.
"Come on," Kento rumbled, his voice rusty with sleep, "let me do that."
You meowed at him, batting at the air with one angry paw when he stepped closer. Kento huffed, raising his hands in surrender.
"Fine," he tutted, "but I'll pour the water."
"Meow."
"Why? Because you don't have opposable thumbs, darling."
The fur stood up along your spine. You turned around, and around, in a circle, then sat upright. You turned your back on him while you waited for the kettle to boil. Your tail flicked from side to side, irritable. Kento waited, too, reaching out one hand to stroke your ears.
You nudged your back paw out, and pushed his mug off the side to smash on the floor.
Silence.
"...what is wrong with y--"
"Meow."
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Skitterskitterskitter.
Distant meows.
Kento groaned, rubbing down his face. He checked the clock, frog-blinking; two in the morning. He groaned harder.
Skitterskitterskitter.
Thunk.
More distant meows.
"Please just come back to bed," Kento moaned into the hands pressed over his face.
SkitterskitterskitterSKITTERSKITTER-- rustlllleerussstle--
Directly over his face.
"Meow--"
"I am begging you--"
RustlerustleTHNKskitterskitterskitter.
Distant meows.
+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+
"I miss you."
You raised your head to look at him. Your purring hitched. Your ears tilted.
Kento had murmured, his low voice barely audible. The only light in the living room was the ever-changing light of the television screen. Laid on his back on the sofa, with you curled on his chest, Kento stroked down your back with longing.
You crept up his chest, pressing your cold wet nose to his, and purred. Nose to nose, and cross-eyed, Kento could have cried.
"I really miss you," he repeated, swallowing around the lump in his throat. Your claws dug into his chest, just a little. You rub, rub, rubbed your warm furry head along his jaw until he sniffled, and gave a choked little chuckle.
He fell asleep with you on his chest that night. In so many ways, it was familiar; home. In so many others, you were gone forever.
+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+
"Meow."
Kento shuffled. His chest felt heavy...warm. His belly felt warm, too. And his lap, and--
Kento's eyes shot open, his head lifting up from the couch.
You bit your lip, naked on top of him, and smiling. Human. An angel.
"Oh, my love," Kento moaned, crushing you to him in a bear hug from shoulder to toes, "you're back-- I missed you, I was so worrie--"
You batted an arm out, swiping last night's wine glass from the coffee table beside you, to shatter on the floor.
Silence. Kento blinked slowly, looking from the wine glass, to you. You felt your cheeks grow hot, swallowing hard.
"God, I...sorry, Kento. Force-- force of habit--"
Part Two linked here!
#pseudowho#pseudowho answers you#haitch#jjk#kento nanami#nanami kento#jjk nanami#kento nanami x reader#kento nanami x you#nanami fluff#Mrs.Nyanyami#What the fuck am I doing#jujutsu kaisen nanami#jujutsu nanami#nanami#nanami fanart#nanami kento fluff#nanami kento x reader#nanami kento x you#nanami x reader#nanami x y/n#nanami x you#kento nanami x y/n#nanamin
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After the Summoning Incident: Justice League Debrief
part 1, part 2
The Justice League meeting chamber was quiet. Too quiet.
The heroes sat around the massive conference table, some looking contemplative, others still processing the absolute chaos that had just unfolded. The Batkids had scattered to their usual perches, some smirking, others—like Damian—still scowling.
Batman, as usual, sat at the head of the table, his expression unreadable.
Superman was the first to break the silence. “Well… that was unexpected.”
Wonder Woman nodded, arms crossed. “The boy was not at all what we prepared for. He is young, brash, and clearly still learning. And yet, he succeeded.”
“Barely,” Damian muttered under his breath.
Jason grinned. “I don’t know, Demon Brat, I think he did pretty damn well. Didn’t even die or anything.”
“He’s already half-dead,” Damian shot back.
“That’s semantics,” Jason said with a shrug.
Constantine, who had been pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration, finally spoke up. “Right, so here’s what we learned, then: the summoning worked, but not the way we expected. We didn’t get the Ghost King. We got the heir to the Ghost King.”
Flash leaned forward, confused. “Okay, but why does that matter? He still fixed the problem.”
“Because,” Batman said, voice low, “we summoned him by name—meaning he’s significant enough that the magic acknowledged him, despite him not being the ruler of the Ghost Zone.”
Zatanna frowned. “That shouldn’t have happened unless his claim to the throne is strong. Which means…”
“He’s important,” Constantine finished grimly. “And probably more powerful than even he knows.”
There was a pause.
Superman, ever the optimist, offered, “Well, he did seem responsible, considering he handled the situation without any casualties.”
Aquaman, who had remained silent for most of the discussion, finally spoke. “That is all well and good, but what concerns me is his guardian.”
The League collectively tensed at the mention of Pariah Dark.
Hawkgirl leaned back in her chair, frowning. “Yeah. Not every day you meet a giant ghost warlord who decides world domination is off the table because he’s got a new kid to dote on.”
“The real question,” Green Lantern said, “is why Pariah Dark, of all beings, chose him as his son.”
“That’s what I’m worried about,” Batman said. “Pariah Dark isn’t just a ruler. He’s a conqueror. The fact that he’s abandoned his previous goals simply because he’s taken a liking to this ‘Danny’ suggests a level of attachment that is… dangerous.”
“I dunno,” Flash said, tapping his fingers against the table. “The guy seemed weirdly soft on the kid. Like, full-on ‘overprotective dad ready to murder anyone who sneezes at his son’ levels of doting.”
Jason snorted. “Can you blame him? The kid’s hilarious.”
Damian rolled his eyes. “That does not negate the potential threat.”
“Which leads to our next problem,” Constantine interrupted. He gestured vaguely toward the space where the summoning circle had been. “That was the third time he’s been summoned this week.”
Batman’s eyes narrowed. “Three times?”
Constantine nodded. “From what I could gather, idiot cultists all over the place have been trying to summon the ‘Ghost King’ for centuries. Problem is, it hasn’t worked in millennia—until now. Which means something’s changed.”
Green Arrow leaned forward. “And you think it’s because of him?”
Constantine sighed. “Has to be. That kid might not be the Ghost King, but he’s enough of a power in the Zone to be dragged here through the same ritual.”
Superman frowned. “So you’re saying if people keep summoning him…”
“…Eventually, someone’s going to do it with bad intentions,” Batman finished.
There was another heavy silence.
“I say we keep an eye on him,” Wonder Woman said. “Not as an enemy, but as a potential ally. He may not trust us now, but if he is being targeted, he’ll need protection.”
Jason chuckled. “Good luck with that. Kid was practically begging to be sent home before his chem test.”
Hawkgirl smirked. “I still can’t believe that was his biggest problem tonight.”
“Teenagers,” Flash said, shaking his head.
Batman didn’t react to the lighthearted remarks. Instead, he turned to Constantine. “Can we track future summonings?”
Constantine exhaled a long breath, rubbing his temple. “Not easily. The magic is old, and the Ghost Zone doesn’t follow the same rules as our realm. But…” He glanced at Zatanna. “With enough prep, we might be able to set up a countermeasure. Or at least a warning system.”
“We should also determine how much control he actually has,” Aquaman said. “If he is an heir, his powers may be growing. We should be aware of what he’s capable of.”
Jason grinned. “So what, we’re gonna test his power levels? Let me know how that goes when Pariah shows up ready to throw hands.”
Batman stood, effectively ending the conversation. “For now, we’ll observe from a distance. If he truly is being targeted, we may need to act sooner rather than later.”
“And if Pariah Dark takes offense to that?” Zatanna asked.
Batman’s expression darkened. “…Then we prepare for war.”
Meanwhile, Back in Amity Park…
Danny groaned as he flopped onto his bed, exhausted beyond belief. “I hate magic,” he mumbled into his pillow.
Jazz, standing in the doorway with crossed arms, raised an eyebrow. “Rough night?”
“The worst,” Danny groaned, turning onto his back. “I got summoned by the Justice League—AGAIN. And Pariah nearly destroyed them before I could talk him down.”
Jazz sighed. “That’s, what, the third time this week?”
“Yes!” Danny threw up his hands. “I swear, if one more idiot cult tries to yank me across dimensions, I’m going to scream.”
Jazz smirked. “And then what?”
Danny scowled. “…Then Pariah will probably destroy another dimension out of spite, because apparently, he thinks I’m too stressed for a ‘mortal child.’”
Jazz chuckled. “Well, he’s not wrong.”
Danny groaned again, grabbing his pillow and shoving it over his face. “I hate everything.”
Jazz patted his shoulder sympathetically. “Welcome to adulthood, little brother.”
Danny just let out a long, muffled scream into his pillow.
#DCxDP#DPxDC#Pariah adopts Danny#Stops his plans to take over the world by the ghost equivalent of a tiny baby holding ur finger for the first time ever#Aka new halfa child came at him swinging and that’s utterly Adorable#To Pariah he’s just a lil guy- a lil baby boi#And since he’s still half alive he Supposes the city needs to still exist in the living world#He’s just going to hold the lil child in his hands and marvel while Danny tries to gnaw a finger off#Fright Knight is his official babysitter & now lives in his shadow half the time#The crown only transfers through a mutual battle/challenge#Which didn’t exactly happen#danny fenton#dc x dp#dc x dp crossover#danny is a little shit#batfam#jason todd#dps fandom#danny phantom#pariah dark#pariah is danny's adopted dad#danny being danny#danny phantom au#sassy danny#baby danny#tiny baby#ghost
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You know what I was thinking of all day? Comforting our sad baby Bucky who just wants a hug. He's tired from a bad mission. His body aches. He saw things he didn't want to. He could really just use something.
Even just a smile?
He doesn't have a lot of friends and most people around the compound outside of the team avoid him. Even those who'd worked with him for ages were still wary, scared he'd snap if they just asked how he's doing. He would have liked it, even just a hello in passing. When he walks by with a scowl on his face, no one meets his eye. If they did, they would have seen the storm that was brewing inside was not an angry one.
He just needed to be held.
When he continues to make his way towards his room, he's given a few nods from a couple of teammates but he knows they're doing it while holding their breath. He reaches his room and the damn is about to break, he hasn't been held in years, he feels so cold and empty, was he really so terrifying, no one would-
"Sergeant Barnes?"
A gentle voice calls for him, forcing him to swallow the lump in his throat. He knows that voice, mustering his best smile as he turns around to find Tony's lab assistant with a cup of chamomile tea in his mug and a file with the mission report he was supposed to fill out.
"Everyone's filling their reports in the conference room, I figured you'd rather have some privacy so I thought I'd bring it to you" You give him the same warm smile you grace everyone with, handing him the steaming cup, "and of course, your favourite"
It's too much. Normally it wouldn't be but he's never given such kindness but he always gets it from you. You're so unbelievably affectionate to everyone and he really doesn't feel worthy but today he needs it so he graciously accepts the tea and file with a soft thank you.
"and call me Bucky, doll"
You stiffen at the slight crack in his voice, frowning when he keeps his eyes trained to the floor. It wasn't unusual for Bucky to keep to himself but you catch his reddened nose and glassy baby blues and it breaks your heart.
He opens the door to enter his room ready to drown in a lonely storm when that voice calls again. Surely he was dreaming. He sets down his things, turning to find you still at his door.
"Bucky?" You enter his room, standing before him when he doesn't ask you to leave, "Are you okay?"
He doesn't trust himself, nodding and desperately blinking back tears. He wished you'd leave, he wished you'd stay, he wished he could just tell you what he needed, his hands fisted into balls by his side, he should just suck it up, what was he expecting-
"Come here" You whisper, your hand coming to cradle the back of his head, bringing it to rest into your neck where he can let go, your arms wrapping around his body.
Bucky doesn't get a chance to realize what's happening because as soon as he feels your touch the first sob escapes. He's hidden himself away in your hold, his tears wetting your skin with no remorse. He clings onto you like a lifeline while you coo and comfort him, playing with his hair and rubbing his back.
You don't let go, allowing him to cry for as long as he needs. Even after his cries turn into sniffles, you comfort him, pressing a kiss to his temple while he holds you extra tight.
When he's finally ready to let go, albeit reluctantly, he's instantly shused from trying to apologize. You don't ask questions asking what happened or why he was upset. It really didn't matter. You just knew. Bucky whispers a thank you, making a mental note to get you some flowers to properly showed you how much he appreciated it.
Of course you'd always just know when he needed it so he'd thank you again with coffee.
Dinner.
Dinner again.
Eventually, a ring.
You always knew what he needed.
A hug.
That was all.
#bucky barnes#bucky x reader#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x f!reader#bucky x y/n#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes fluff#bucky barnes angst#bucky barnes fanfic#bucky barnes fan fiction#james bucky barnes#sergeant james buchanan barnes#james bucky buchanan barnes#james buchanan barnes#bucky barnes x fanfic#bucky barnes x fluff#bucky fan fic#bucky fan fiction#bucky fanfic#bucky angst#marvel angst#avengers angst#marvel fluff#bucky barnes sad#bucky barnes comfort fic#bucky barnes comfort fic#bucky barnes comfort
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okay but I kinda need read a fic where Shen Yuan is wife plotted (AGAIN) by some random papapa plant (dammit Airplane--) and he basically falls into a floating coma or something. on a hunt for some rare herbs with liu qingge, he's lured by the sound of his Binghe's (his lost little lamb) voice and ends up ensnared.
okay, imagine that he's being held high in the air by these vines, just asleep, and nothing can wake him, even after liu qingge cuts the monster plant down to get him. he's just sleeping, rosy-cheeked, unwakeable.
peak lords panic, and start trying to figure it out what this rare plant is. sqh wracks his brain somewhat and somewhat remembers this plot line.
they come to the conclusion that its the everlasting dreams flower or some shit. basically traps the victim in their dreams while it sucks out their qi until the person dies of dehydration/starvation or qi loss, whichever kills them first (sometimes, its not the latter, and if the person is a cultivator, they can last a while before their qi is fully drained enough that they can no longer practice inedia but also haven't died yet). meanwhile, the person won't even care because their dreams are so sweet, that they don't want to leave.
the only way to cure it? true love's song. someone who truly knows and loves the sleeper needs to sing something from the heart, and if it's pure enough or something, it can pierce through the pleasant dreams of the person and wake them up. yqy and lqg instantly become flustered, but both of them can't help but secretly wonder how it would feel to have Xiao jiu/shen-shixiong wake up at their song.
they confer with the rest of the peak lords a little outside of shen yuan's resting rooms on the Qian Cao peak, and yqy decides to sing a little lullaby he used to sing to Xiao jiu when they were still on the streets. he goes in, his voice is a steady but a bit nervous, but he croons that shit out. airplane can't believe his fucking ears. yqy could honestly be an idol its not fair wtf-- only, sqh knows he can't dance to save his fucking life, so.
when yqy finishes, he waits, but his heart sinks when Xiao jiu doesn't so much as stir. he hurries out of the room but sqh notices how the tips of his ears are red in embarrassment. of course, even when he still had his memory, Xiao jiu wanted nothing to do with him, why did he think it would change now, he just--
lqj goes in next. he murmurs a song that he constantly hears sqq sometimes strumming on his guqin, thinking that means sqq must love the song. he's not sure what else he can do, he doesn't know how to sing from the heart, but the feelings he has for his shixiong... he has to at least try to wake him.
he doesn't wake. lqj walks out in defeat.
airplane who has been wracking his brain all this time because he was trying to think of requirements for awakening so he wasn't paying attention suddenly jumps up. he doesn't mind the startled glances that the other peak lords give him.
he just remembered!
the song didn't have to be a romantic song or anything. the love for the sleeper didn't have to be romantic love, at all! he remembered this plot line that he added about binghe trying to wake one of his wives, but it was one of the wives' sisters that woke her, because she truly loved her sister deeply. causing binghe to realize that his love was becoming shallow, in that it wasn't enough anymore or blah blah blah. he scrapped that plot line and that plant after he got a ton of bad reviews for even suggestion that lbh's love (pillar) wasn't big enough and so he had lbh fix it with papapa, but whatever!
he shivered.
anyway, the story has been so warped over time that its only told that it has to be a romantic lover. but it didn't have to be.
he had an idea. he loved Shen Yuan! despite the rocky start, their shared transmigration and experiences led them to form a closer relationship, and Shen Yuan was his best friend. he knew him wholly, both in his bitchiness of Cucumber-bro of their old lives, and in the snarky-masquerading-as-pretentious SQQ he was in their new lives. He knew him as a whole of Shen Yuan, not as Xiao Jiu, or as the original goods.
and also, both he and Shen Yuan had discovered they both liked some similar songs during one of their weekly private meetings a few weeks ago, while Shen Yuan was there under the guise of planning their eventual escapes, but was actually just drinking up all his wine and ransacking his snacks.
he's got this! (he hopes.) (he would quite not like his bro to die from an unwakeable coma.)
confidently, with incredulous stares following him, he walks into the room and sits at shen yuan's bedside. and proceeded to sing, as smoothly as he could, a vocaloid love song. if nothing else, it might shock Shen Yuan awake to hear a random ass vocaloid song in his dreams. the lyrics are actually pretty sweet and soft, but he can't stop imagining the music behind it, making it funnier than it should be to sing it.
[Shen Yuan, whose dreamscape has become completely synchronized to his current living conditions and so he dreams of the serene bamboo hut: *sitting at his table with binghe pouring him more tea* *sudden hatsune fucking miku disturbing the atmosphere*
Shen Yuan: 👁️👄👁️]
while he tries not to giggle as the song comes to an end, the stares of the other peak lords boring into his back from the doorway (he can just hear them thinking, "yqy and lqg couldn't wake him up but you think you can?" but maybe that's just his imagination. or maybe they think the song is shitty, what does he know--), shen yuan's eyes flutter open.
airplane, who didn't think this would actually actually work (though he hoped), gapes at him. Shen Yuan, eyes half lidded from sleep, gazes back.
"uh..."
"The everlasting dreams flower, really? That was a really good plot line, can't believe you, ah," Shen Yuan yawns, "dropped it in favor of more papapa as always, you shitty author." He can't catch a break. Why did he wake this guy up again?
"he's awake!?" multiple voices cry out.
THUMP. yqy has fainted.
they both have forgotten their audience. liu qingge has goes outside to punch a tree. the other peak lords are in various states of disarray, disbelief, and discomfort. liu minyan has appeared out of nowhere to take notes. mu qingfāng rolls his eyes and comes in to check shen-shenanigans's meridians.
"Can't believed that shit worked, honestly," Shen Yuan says, eyeing one of the older disciples try to drag YQY to a cot. he is starting to rouse. "hatsune miku, really?"
"aw! well now you know how deeply and purely I love you, shixiong!"
THUMP. YQY has fainted again.
more sounds of breaking trees from outside. mu qingfāng warily calls out a warning to avoid his good medicinal trees, thanks.
after a while of conversation, with eyes closing a bit once more, from exhaustion, rather than the plant poison, Shen Yuan gives Shang Qinghua a small smile. As his eyes flutter shut again, he says, "I love you too, bro."
#cumplane#cucumberplane#platonic cumplane#or not#think of it as you want#mxtx svsss#svsss#scum villain#scum villian self saving system#shang qinghua#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#wife plots#yue qingyuan#liu qingge#wife plot plants#contrived coma#love songs#I just wanted to have sqh sing sqq awake okay??? I thought it would be cute and funny and urgh#mu qingfāng#imagine sqh having to argue with his system first that is totally within character to do this as sqh wdym#even tho he has no OOC blocks#I think#or imagine the reverse#if sqq had to sing for SQH#bruh I think everyone would lose their fucking heads#like him??? he's the one you want???#queerplatonic#I think?#it could be if you want
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Imagine being Sung Jinwo's significant other, who was with him through thick and thin. Someone who was very close to his family and would often fill in the gaps in his life and family.
Imagine doing your normal routine in the mornjng into to look into the calendar and saw today's date marked up with a note that says parent teacher conference causing you to blink, still sleepy. First of all, you've graduated high-school and is a worker and a part-time hunter. Second, you don't have a child let alone a sibling that's going to scho- oh!
"Sung Jinwo!" You scream as soon as he picked up the phone. You heard a groan and a bit of shuffling before you heard a deep husky voice on the phone "Hmmm? Morning." Followed by a chuckle. "Did you just woke up?" He asked causing you to roll your eyes. "No." You lied with a pout. He knew you very well. "You should get ready, Jin-Ah's parent teacher conference meeting is in three hours." "I know, thats why I called you. I thought you were still asleep." "Come on now darling, I'm not a sleepyhead like you." He laughs.
Imagine Jinwo who was on the other side of the phone, just woke up and is now making his way into the kitchen, chuckling as he listen to your rebut with a smitten look on his face, after all, there was nothing he would trade for as long as your voice is what greeted him as he wake up in the morning. "Shall I pick you up at your place so we could go in there together?" "Nah, your house route is completely on the opposite direction of mine. Let's just meet on the school grounds okay?" "Alright." He replied with a smile on his face. "Well then I need to get going now." "Alright, you do take your time to get ready." He tease
"I love you" You heard him say as you almost ended the call due to this teasing. "I love you too." You replied with a small smile on your face. "See you later babe" "I told you not to call-" "Love you! bye!" "Sung Jinwo you punk!" Although you said that with such annoyance, there was a hind of happiness in your eyes that you cannot deny.
Imagine silently waiting for him at the school gates, playing on your phone with some random blocks game when you heard a familiar step coming close causing you to look up only for your eyes to squint as you try to get a grip of reality if your boyfriend was actually the one jogging right in front of you right now.
"Hi." He said with a cheeky grin on his lips as you stare at him wide eyes. "You- your hair." You utter as you reach out and touch his undercut, causing a shiver down his spine as you do. "Yeah I though a little hair cut wouldn't be so bad, my hair was getting long. Why? Does it not look good-?" "No. No Jinwo. You're... beautiful." You utter with a soft smile and proceeded to mess up his hair. "Funny, we used to be by each others height but now you're taller than me." You whispered. "What was that?" "Nothing, let's get going, its almost time."
Imagine noticing the stare and murmurs that the two of you were receiving ever since the two of you have gotten inside the building and eventually to the room where the meeting is about to be held. And to be honest, you honestly cannot blame the students for gossiping and looking at your way because even Jian-Ah was surprised to see her brother's new look upon seeing him. But the way the young adult, one who seemed to be in the same age as you and your lover, probably the sisters of the other students looked at Jinwo that makes you sigh.
Imagine, it was easy to see the changes that was happening with Jinwo. His growth spurt, this strength and abilities were slowly catching everyone's attention. In comparison to the Jinwo you have grown up with, there was this feeling of confusion and anxiety of not being able to keep up with him. You know you should be glad that he was no longer the weak he once was but at the same time, there was this fear of being left behind by him. But you knew for a fact that he would not leave you behind, that's why you fear that you would rather become a burden for hi- "Ouch!"
"You're thinking of something stupid again." "You bas-! That hurts!" You complain as you clutch your forehead, glaring at your lover who was slurping his ramen without care. "You deserve it for thinking about something stupid." "I- I'm not thinking of something stupid." You utter, looking away from him, down into your ramyeon. It's not stupid for what you are thinking was a fact, a truth that hurts to admit.
Imagine the way he slowly reach out and touch your forehead, caressing the spot where he had flicked you earlier. "Sorry, does it hurt?" When he said that with such lovely look on his face, how could you not soften? "No, I was over reacting." You smile gentle at him and lean on his touch. "Still, I'm sorry." "It's alright Jinwo."
"Thank you for bring me home-" You were cut off with a pair of lips. Wide eye, you cannot help but to be taken a back by your lover's action. Nevertheless you soon melt into the kiss and kissed him back, even hooking your arms around his neck, pulling him closer. "Thank you for staying by my side all those years." He said as the two of you pull away from each other but still close enough that your foreheads where touching. "I love you and only you. There will be no one else, okay?" "Okay." You chuckle and hug him. Right there was no use in being scared when it was obvious whom he loves. "I love you too."
[ⓒdark-night-hero] 2025°
: I want to write an angst, not sure if Jinwo would be a fit or a blue lock or Genshin character would be a nice victim.
#dark night hero#solo leveling fanfic#solo leveling sung jinwoo#solo leveling x reader#solo leveling jinwoo#solo leveling#solo leveling imagines#jinwoo sung x reader#sung jin woo x reader#sung jinwoo x reader#sung jin woo#jinwo x reader#sung jinwoo#sung jinwo imagine#sung jinwoo imagine#sung jinwo imagines#sung jinwoo imagines
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I know angel is innocent, but do you think that if Harry had to go away for business or family or something, that she might 🥸 you know.... 🥸🥸 ˢᵉˣᵗ ʰᶦᵐ
wordcount: 9.3k+
—————
(Y/N) knuckled at her eye, attempting to get the sleep out so she could see Harry clearly. It would be the last time she'd see him for the next week, she wanted to remember every detail.
"Stop," Harry murmured, gently grasping her wrist and pulling her hand from her eye. "You're gonna hurt yourself doing that, love."
"Sorry," she yawned, blinking up at him. It was way too early to be awake, but she wasn't going to let him leave without a proper send off.
"'S alright," he sighed, shifting his hold on her wrist until she was gathered against his chest. He dropped a kiss to her head, voice muffled against her hair when he said, "Jus' don't forget while 'm gone, 'kay?"
"I'll try," she relented, keening into the warmth radiating from his chest, "What time do you land?"
"It'll be a little after nine, I think. Y'think you'll be awake then?"
"Maybe," she sighed, "I've got to feed Evie, so probably."
He hugged her a bit tighter at the mention of his first born. "Will y'send me a picture when y'do? I miss her already."
"I will," (Y/N) promised, pulling away from where her cheek had nestled against his shoulder. Blinking up at him, she told herself not to cry when he matched her gaze. It wasn't fair that he looked so cozy and warm, pliant with his own sleep, and was planning on leaving her all by herself for the next week. "Will you send me a picture of you when you land? Because I miss you already."
It was a silly request, one that was supposed to be lighthearted—for the both of them—but only served to make her bottom lip quiver by the time the words hung between them. A pout crossed Harry's features. Dropping his bag, his now free hand landed on the back of her head, cradling her snug against him.
"Baby," he crooned, "I miss y'too, you know that. We've never been apart like this before, have we?" Only a pathetic shake of her head was offered. "But we'll be alright. Jus' call me when y'need me, and I'll answer. You might even like having the place to yourself for a little—won't even want me to come home."
Her eyes watered at his teasing allegation. "I'll always want you to be home with me."
A soft sigh escaped from his chest. "Oh, love. I'll be home soon, I promise. 'S only a week."
"I know," she blubbered, "Just wish I could go with you."
"But you're being responsible and going to class and studying instead. Not something to be sad about at all." He pet his hand down the back of her head, gentle fingers brushing the back of her neck and warming her skin. "Besides, y'don't want to be at these conferences. They're boring."
"Then why are you going?" If they were so boring, maybe she could convince him to stay in bed with her for the whole week instead of working.
"Gotta be on top of everything, love," he said, just as he had every other time she asked why this conference was so important, "Can't be the best tattooer in the world if I never go and see what's new."
She deflated. He was using her words against her, the praises she would mean whether or not he went to these conferences and conventions.
"'S gonna be alright, darling. Really," he insisted, his tone growing serious as he cupped the nape of her neck and pulled her back just enough to get a look at her. "I'll miss you, but I'll be home before y'know it. Then we can spend the whole weekend together before I go back to work."
That did sound nice. Especially since she was more than sure she would be able to convince him to order in and eat in bed with her.
"Okay," she relented, voice a bit watery, "Love you, H."
His features grew soft. Without the aid of his signature eyeliner, there were only soft edges to his eyes, matching the soft curl of his lips. With his hair pulled back, she could see every plane of his face where she was used to seeing a stern edge or cutting line. But not when it came to her; everything was soft when he looked at his love.
"I love you too, (Y/N)," he murmured, ducking his head to press a simple kiss to her lips. "I'll text y'when I get to the airport, but please go back to sleep if you're still tired."
(Y/N) chased after her, catching him in another kiss, this one a bit harder and more urgent. Their last kiss to be shared for the next week, and she was going to make it worth it. Even if she did start feeling her eyes begin to burn and her nose warm.
His hand on the back of her neck shifted until he was cradling her cheek in his palm. He let her take what she needed, slotting his lips to hers with her bottom one between his two. It was sweet and giving, the way she sank into him, eager to get as much of her fill as she could manage in the short time frame.
With his head much clearer, Harry drew away first, offering a smattering of pecking kisses before leaving the warmth of her presence.
"Gonna make me miss my flight if you're not careful," he teased, offering one more press of his lips to the bridge of her nose.
(Y/N) canted her head. That wasn't such a bad idea, actually. If he missed his flight, it would be way too much work to reschedule and possibly update his accommodations—
"No, I know what you're thinking, love," Harry smiled, shaking his head as he interrupted her line of thought, "I've still got to go."
She made a show of deflating, taking the route of attempting to make him laugh instead of giving into the lump forming in her throat.
"Fine," she sighed, as if he had punctured all of the air from her, "This time, I'll let you go. But you might not be so lucky the next time."
"So generous, my lovebug is," Harry murmured, hugging her extra tight as he fit his face into her neck. "I love you so much, baby. I'll let y'know when I land."
"Okay," she whispered, not trusting her voice to go any louder, "I love you, too."
He pulsed his arms around her for a lingering moment before doing the hard part of untangling from her limbs. She felt decidedly colder once he left the space of her bubble. (Y/N) could only wrap her arms around her middle to keep herself from reaching for him.
She watched as he slung his bag over his shoulder. The roses on his neck bristled as he stood to the full of his height, hand resting on the doorknob.
"I'll see you soon, baby," he promised, a sad smile on his lips, "Promise."
"See you soon, H."
(Y/N) followed him to the garage, watching as he backed his car out and onto the street. She waved at him on the off chance he might be looking at her, until he most definitely was too far away to catch even a speck of her. Getting out of the chill, she made her way back inside and to their shared bedroom.
It was then, with her head on his pillow, the sheets scented of him with Harry's kitten at her feet, that she let her tears fall.
While it wasn't the waterfall she feared she was going to shed when he was still here, it was enough to heat her skin and slick down her cheeks in rivers. She missed him already, not used to being in this bed without her Harry at her side.
Having heard her sniffling and the incessant wiping of her sleeve over her cheeks, Evie left her post at (Y/N)'s feet and found the perfect spot to curl up right on the pillow. With her pink nose, she sniffed over (Y/N)'s tear-stained cheeks, whiskers tickling her skin.
"Hi, Evie," (Y/N) blubbered, "Do you miss your daddy already too?"
Evie didn't do anything other than deposit a soft lick to the tip of (Y/N)'s nose. A small smile curled (Y/N)'s salted lips.
"At least we have each other."
Evie chirped at that.
—————
"And, what did she say after that?"
Patting her moisturizer into her skin, (Y/N) let out a heavy sigh as she dropped her eyes to her phone screen. Illuminated in the pixels was Harry's tired face, free of any eyeliner with his hair pulled back and a headband keeping the stray strands from brushing his eyes. A white fluffy pillow was held to his chest, taking up the bottom third of the view, his chin resting on the edge as he looked at the camera. At her.
"Nothing. She didn't say anything the rest of the shift. It was creepy."
Harry barked out a laugh at her words. "Not even to you?"
"No," (Y/N) affirmed, "Even when I said bye before I left, she just nodded at me."
At this, Harry's lips thinned. "That's not very nice. 'M sorry she acted like that today, love. She didn't hurt your feelings or anything, right?"
The shake of her head had his features loosening in relief. "No, I'm okay. I just don't really want to go in tomorrow if she's also going to be there; I'll have to hide in the autobiographies if she is."
"That might be fun, though," Harry started, interrupting himself with a yawn, "Easy work."
"Too easy," she pointed out, wiping the remainder of the lotion on her hands, "I'll fall asleep."
"That doesn't sound so bad," he murmured, his own eyes falling closed in a lingering blink.
Picking up her phone, (Y/N)'s lips puffed into a pout. She had been looking forward to this evening's FaceTime, the same way she had been the last three days, but it didn't feel right to keep him on the phone when he was so clearly tired.
"Do you want me to let you go, H? I don't want to keep you up."
He was quick to blink his eyes open, forcing them wide and awake as he stitched his attention on her. "No, no, 's alright. I want to talk to you, baby."
Her own lips curled into a soft grin as she started back to their bedroom. Evie was already in her new favorite spot—right where her daddy usually slept. "I want to talk to you too, but I know you had a busy day. We can talk tomorrow."
"But I miss you today."
When she laid her head down on her pillow, phone in hand, the view on her screen framed an illusion that they were sharing a bed. Only a pillow between them.
"I miss you, too," she murmured ardently, "But I feel bad."
"Don't feel bad," he insisted, denying as if there weren't bags under his eyes, "It really wasn't that busy of a day—jus' lots of talking."
"One of your least favorite things," she pointed out as his eyes fell closed once more.
"Not when 's you."
At that, (Y/N) paused. Her heart pattered in her chest, blood rushing through her veins with heart-shaped cells. He was too good at arguing with her like this.
When she didn't immediately answer, she saw his eyes open. Half-lidded, they landed directly on her. He could easily tell just what kind of reaction he was drawing out of her, her face an open book just for him to read.
"Did I win?"
A sheepish nod was his answer.
Hunkering down into the fluff of his hotel bed, Harry let a lazy smile cover his features. If she squinted her eyes just so, the illusion worked well enough to imagine she was lying in bed next to him—a small version of him, but Harry nonetheless.
"I'll stay with y'until y'fall asleep, love," he murmured, just voice a comforting rumble through her phone. Next time, she decided, she was going to have her headphones on, wishing to hear every note of his voice.
"Thank you," she peeped, grateful even if a little guilty that he was going to stay awake when he was clearly so tired.
Through his cracked eyes, she could see affection swimming through the shattered green of his iris. "Tomorrow's going to be better, love. I know it," he insisted, broken up by a short yawn, "And if 's not, 'm catching a flight home."
A huff of laughter fell across the cover of her pillow. "Now you're going to make me hope I have a bad day."
Harry's grin only widened. Dimples deeply dented his cheeks. "Don't say that," he pushed, though he didn't sound particularly convincing.
Looking at him, even made of speakers and pixels, she doubted she would have an easy time falling asleep tonight. Not when she had him right here with her, as close as he could be.
—————
Posing in the mirror, (Y/N) tugged the end of her skirt to flare it around her thighs. She snapped a photo of herself in the mirror, her phone partially covering her face in the reflection.
Once the photo generated on her phone screen, (Y/N) relaxed from her pose and took a look at the shot. With a chunky, slouchy cream sweater covering her top—a borrowed piece, of course, from the opposite side of the closet—she had taken a leap and chosen to wear a skirt despite the chilly autumn weather outside. The night before, when she had picked out this outfit, she had been unsure, knowing she would undoubtedly be freezing on campus with only a skirt covering to the mid of her thighs. It had been Harry's idea to put on a pair of hose or stockings at the least to help cover her a little.
(Leggings had been his first suggestion, and she had shot that down immediately).
Sending him a photo now, with a pair of barely used stockings pulled as high up her thighs as she could manage, was her test to see if she looked as silly as she felt. The skirt thankfully was covering the scalloped lace lining the top of the stockings, but she felt a bit scandalous with the pieces on her legs.
Attaching the photo to a message, she typed out:
do you think this looks silly? i don't know if i still have the hose from my halloween costume but i'll look for it if you think that will work better!!
Pressing sending, she turned her attention to her hair instead of watching for Harry's response. All she had time for was to reach for a sparkly white headband before her phone buzzed against the countertop. From the preview, she saw that he had loved the image she sent before sending back a couple of texts in rapid succession.
Baby, you look gorgeous!
Is that my sweater? You should keep it.
Don't change, I think you look perfect!
But why can't I see your face? :( I miss you.
A soft smile covered her features as she scrolled over the handful of messages. Taking a moment, she slid her headband over her head, pushing stray hairs out of her face. It felt a little silly, but she took another photo of herself, this one only of her smiling face before pressing send once more.
Before she could even type out her gratitude for his previous messages, another handful were delivered.
Baby! There you are!
You look so pretty!
Is that your new lipgloss?
I love when you push your hair back like that. Will you do that for the next time I get to take you out?
(Y/N) felt like she needed to be lying on her stomach, kicking her feet in the air while she twirled her hair when she read these over. Even from miles and miles away, she was not immune to the way he spoke to her.
thank you h🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷 you're so sweet i miss you too!!!!
i'm just worried that they're going to fall over my legs and then people will see the lace:(
The delivered receipt never even popped up, Harry reading her messages as soon as they were sent.
I think you'll be okay, love. Your skirt is long enough that if they fall little, I don't think anyone will see.
If it would make you feel a little better, you can take one of my coats and use it to cover up if you feel like you need it.
Truthfully, she was going to take one of his jackets with her today anyway, whether or not he gave her permission.
oooh that would be perfect!!!!! thank youuuuuuuu
Of course. Stay warm today, darling. I'll call you when I get back to the hotel tonight.
Glancing at the time, she was sure Harry would have just exited the tube and started making his way to the convention with the rest of the boys from the shop. She would have to keep it together and not text him every thought she had during the day.
talk to you later!!!! have fun love u
Love you too, angel.
She couldn't wait to see him say those words to her in person. Only three more days.
—————
From where it was tucked away under her thigh, (Y/N)'s phone buzzed. Today's lecture was an easy one to be distracted from, even if it probably wasn't the best idea to pay attention to her phone instead of the slides at the front of the room.
Nonetheless, she reached for her phone under her skirt and glanced at the screen.
Harry had sent a photo.
A pinch appeared between her brows as she unlocked the screen, swiping on the notification.
Their text thread was now made up of a photo of Harry in the bathroom at the conference center. It was a shot of his reflection in the mirror, where he was goofily posing to mimic the one she had sent over that morning. His tattooed hand was out at his side, pinching an invisible skirt to show off the flare.
What do you think?
(Y/N) had to choke back a laugh at the sight.
super cute h
grab a jacket in case you get cold though
When he didn't immediately reply, (Y/N) tucked her phone away, smile now on her features as she pretended to pay attention to the lecturer before her.
She was going to have to send that picture to Sarah and Mitch.
—————
(Y/N) checked the time, her expression falling when she saw just how little time had passed since the last time she looked.
It had already been an hour since she said goodnight to Harry over the phone, but it was still too early to justify climbing into bed. Especially since she had taken a nap when she made it home from work.
Over the phone, Harry had seemed so sleepy, recounting his long day touring the conference before getting a chance to finally sit down and give her a call when he made it back to his hotel room. She could have kept talking to him for hours, in love with the sound of his voice rumbling through the phone, but he seemed so exhausted. She didn't want to keep him up just because she missed him.
That left her alone, traveling back and forth to her closet. Different outfits were bundled in her arms each trip, the goal to be finding something cute to wear for her presentation on Monday. Without Harry here to soothe her for another couple of days—"two more sleeps," they had said on the phone—this was her only chance at distracting herself from the slides she already memorized. If she felt pretty, she thought she might be able to get through the whole thing a little easier.
Playing music from the heart shaped speaker she stole from their bathroom, she bopped about the room, laying out different options on the bed. All of them were pretty cute, she thought, just... not right? She wasn't sure why, but none of them seemed to fit the vision she had for herself on Monday.
Would the pink skirt come across as childish? The sweater with bows laced down the sleeves as unprofessional? But the fitted, dark green sweater she'd pulled didn't really feel like herself—at least not the version of herself that she would feel the most comfortable being when she was already going to be at her most uncomfortable in front of her whole class.
Though it sounded like a lot of work, she figured she would only know for sure if she tried on each prospect. Even if the idea sounded even less fun when she remembered Harry wasn't going to be there to give his candy-coated opinion and tell her every sweet nothing he could think of.
At the very least, it would fill her time and check off a task she knew she wasn't going to want to do when Harry returned home on Sunday.
—————
Falling back onto their bed, (Y/N) didn't feel any more accomplished even with the skirt flaring around her body. She still needed to change out of this particular outfit—the one with the bow sweater layered over a silky blush dress and the same stockings that had treated her well earlier in the week—but she was too tired to do so at the moment. Instead, she pulled open her camera roll and looked at the trio of photos she took in her options.
Even if she knew she wasn't going to gain any kind of response until the morning, (Y/N) still attached all three to a new message to Harry. He could be the deciding vote (even if she really just wanted him to pick the outfit she currently had on).
Despite knowing he was asleep—the time being now a full hour and a half since saying goodnight—she still lagged for a moment, waiting for the receipt to change to read. Unsurprised, she locked her phone after a minute when her message stayed on delivered.
(Y/N) pushed her phone to the side as she forced herself up from where she laid on her bed, a heavy sigh leaving her chest. She needed to get into her pajamas, then wash her face, perform her skincare routine, get her hair in shape for bedtime, and then probably feed Evie again and have a snack herself, and, if he wasn't too tired, she could start the new book she dow—
Her phone buzzed.
Pausing where she stood, feet bare other than the stockings wrapped around her legs. She knew it was probably Sarah, confirming their plans for the following way. But, (Y/N) still, just a little, hoped it might be Harry.
Without letting herself get too excited, she reached for her phone amongst the tufts of her comforter.
A single notification sat at the bottom of her lock screen.
Harry🖤
She didn't even attempt to hold back the smile that bloomed over her features. He was supposed to be asleep.
Sliding the notification open, their text thread opened up. Her photos took up the majority of the screen though her eyes went right to his message.
Are you still in the last outfit?
A little less... affectionate than she had been hoping for, but a response nonetheless.
i am why !
i thought you were asleep
Another message near instantly came through.
I'm having a harder time falling asleep than I thought.
I really like that last one, love. Are you wearing those stockings?
She frowned at his explanation. She didn't like the idea of Harry tossing and turning all by himself in a hotel room. Maybe, she'd try to help him get to sleep.
yessss but i did find those ones that i got for my halloween costume so i can wear those instead if you think that's better for the presentation
Can I see?
(Y/N)'s frown deepened.
the other ones????
It wasn't a fun set to pull up her legs since the material was so fragile and thighs when they made it up to her thighs, but she would manage if wanted to see—
No, the stockings.
You're still wearing them right, love?
Her cheeks warmed. Maybe it was the way she was reading it in her head—with the deep rumble of his voice, drawling and heavy with his eyes on her—but she swore there was a little more to this than attempting to help her pick an outfit.
In lieu of typing out a response, she turned her camera on. She debated finding her way back to bed or standing before the mirror once more. Fitting her bottom lip between her teeth, she figured the mirror was the safer choice. At least this way she could offer a full view.
Bunching the skirt of the dress in her hand, she snapped a photo of the stockings tight around her legs, the white lace showing. There was no pattern in the netting, only the sheer white mesh, the material offering a satin finish over her skin. Nothing special, really.
The photo sent, never reaching delivered status before being read by Harry. Though no immediate response was sent back.
(Y/N) waited as moments passed before a bubble filled with three little dots popped up in the corner of the screen.
You look so pretty, love. I wish I was there with you.
Do you have anything else pretty on under your outfit?
She blinked at the message. Okay, so she hadn't been reading him wrong, even if she was a little surprised at how quickly he was leading her down this path.
Her fingers hovered over the offered keyboard. Truthfully, she wasn't wearing a pretty matching set the way she was sure Harry was picturing. Underneath the layers of her sweater and dress, was a comfortable, unlined pink bra and a set of cotton panties in baby blue.
Just as she went to type an answer, she blanched, eyes widening as an alternative idea popped through her head.
Did he want a... picture of her?
The idea had her stomach churning.
Though it wasn't anything Harry hadn't seen before, photos seemed so much more scandalous. She didn't doubt that it had much to do with conversations she overhead her parents having, the kind when a celebrity or a girl in their community had private photos leaked and spread around. It was always the woman in the photo's fault—if she hadn't wanted those out there, she shouldn't have taken them. She shouldn't have been acting like a whore.
She must have taken longer than she realized when another message came through.
Baby?
Fitting her bottom lip between her teeth, (Y/N) typed out a noncommittal answer.
maybeeeeeeee
why?
Harry would be disappointed to see her chewing on the pillow of her lip, but she couldn't help herself. Was it stupid to be nervous? Especially when the question itself hadn't even been asked—and even if it had, Harry was the love of her life. She lived with him, and was stressing over the idea of sending him a photo of her body? It didn't make much sense.
I miss you baby. Do you think I could see you?
If there was any room for speculation over how much he missed her and in what way, it was all put to rest when another photo came through.
It was a view of the small of Harry's stomach, angled as if he were posing the camera from the height of his chest. His hand, tattooed and familiar, grasping at a bulge through the worn black material of his sweats.
(Y/N) blinked, breath stuck in her chest.
No wonder he couldn't fall asleep.
Was she supposed to send her own photo now? To be fair, it was quite the sight—one she had missed since he left—to see the expanse of his hand over his crotch, but she wasn't sure she was far enough gone to completely disregard the feeling in her stomach.
But she couldn't leave him hanging. She knew she would be sick to her stomach if she sent something to Harry and he didn't immediately respond in kind.
She didn't think before she reacted to the photo with a heart, typing out:
i miss you too!!!!! is this why you couldn't sleep
It took all of one second, realizing what she had sent his way, to make her cringe. She was sure this wasn't the kind of reaction he had been hoping for when he sent an explicit image.
She hoped, if anything, he thought it was endearing.
A little bit. I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since our phone call. I don't know if I can wait two more sleeps to see you again.
Her heart raced behind her ribs. While it wasn't something she really indulged in, there was more than once this week that she had briefly wondered if she had the willpower to wait for him to return home before spreading her legs. But, as it usually did, the idea paled in comparison to what he was able to offer her. If she had to wait a couple of days, then so be it, she had decided.
That decision didn't feel so concrete now, not with the view on her phone.
It's not like Harry would spread her photos around. She knew that. And this would be far from the most scandalous thing she'd ever partaken in with Harry's guidance.
And, gosh, did she miss him.
Between her legs, a heat gathered. What she wouldn't give to be on her knees before him, her hand replacing his. To hear the rumbling of his moans, hearing him call her his pretty, good girl. So gorgeous he can barely handle himself. That he could spend hours—days, even—in bed with her. All he wanted was to take care of her, starting with the ache between her legs.
She clutched her phone tightly.
It wouldn't be so bad, she thought. It was just a photo. If it really bothered her, Harry would delete every photo and every mention of the photos. Besides, she was an adult.
She had moved into a home with her long-term boyfriend—who she had a sneaking suspicion was going to propose in the near future—, took care of her own needs, and would soon be facing her college graduation. She could send photos of herself if she wanted to.
(Even if she still felt a little sick to her stomach. Aside from being unsure of sending them, she didn't even know how to take them).
Are you still there, baby? I didn't mean to scare you off.
A small smile touched the corners of her mouth. She could hear those words in his voice. He was always so worried about being too much, asking for too much, when it came to her. Because he was Harry, and he loved her.
He loved her so much, and she didn't doubt that she could trust him even more.
yeah hold on im taking a picture !!
That was all she said before pulling up her camera.
Making quick work of her clothing, the sweater and dress became nothing more than a puddle on the floor. She hesitated at the hem of the stockings. It felt a bit silly to keep them on, given the fact that her underwear was far from pretty and put together. But, Harry did seem to like them.
Before she could think any more about it, she took her phone and stepped in front of the mirror.
There was a feeling in her chest, similar to that of when he took her to the beach for the first time in Barcelona, seeing herself in so little clothing. Very different to when she would disrobe in front of him, knowing that he was only going to gaze upon her in awe. She wouldn't be able to gauge his reaction from the other end of a phone.
If not for the fact that she had already said she was taking a photo of herself, (Y/N) may have backed down. Instead, she committed to posing before the mirror.
She stood with her thighs together, the gusset of her panties tucked between her legs. The stockings stood out against her skin, shimmering in the low light of the lit lamps of their bedroom. Her breasts were cradled in the light pink material of her bra, unlined with the peak of her nipples pushing through. The thin line of wire under her bust held up the swells.
Angling her camera to conceal her face once more, (Y/N) held her breath as she pressed the circle at the bottom of her screen. She didn't allow herself more than a glance at the photo before pressing send. It didn't look too bad when she peeked, but she wasn't in the mood to judge her body any more than she already was beginning to judge herself for taking the photo at all.
She couldn't wait to see what his reaction would be. Instead, she locked her phone and dove for the safety of her bed, wrapping the throw lined at the bottom of the mattress around her nearly-bare body.
(Y/N) knew she wasn't a bad person. Right? She had only sent a photo to her boyfriend. That was all. Was it the best photo? Maybe not, but it was of her. That should be enough for him, right?
Harry always told her just how perfect she was, how much he loved her body. Even after she had more than one bowl of soup before he took her to bed, he never complained over her bloated stomach or if she hadn't had time to shave herself before spreading her legs.
But, photos could be so unforgiving. She wouldn't blame him if he thought differently of her. Not to mention, she really gave in pretty quickly to this whole photo thing, didn't she?
What if he hadn't even wanted a photo of her, and she sent one anyway? She should have know—
Fuck
Angel are you joking
This isn't fair. You cant look so pretty without me
Did you keep those stockings on for m e?
Something bloomed in the middle of her chest. It was a bit silly, but she knew Harry. He didn't text without punctuation and checking his spelling. Seeing the lack of periods and a disjointed word at the end, she liked to think that her photo was having a more profound effect on him than she could have hoped.
The lighting hadn't been as bad as she thought, then.
Confidence struck her, urging her to message him back before it had a chance to fizzle out.
yes daddy
She wished she could be there to see his reaction to the message. She missed seeing that flash in his eyes, his pupils dilating as he gazed at her. In her head, he would have reached out and grabbed her hips, pulling her flushed to him. Hips together, where the thick bulge of his cock would press right against her core.
Was it crazy to catch a flight? She could probably make it there soon, and then they could go home together on Sunday.
That way she could at least see her daddy be—
You're such a good girl for your daddy angel
Fucking perfect you're gonna make me cum just from your picture
Can I show you?
The final message had her heart slowing. The heat that had fallen to the backburner during her overthinking had returned tenfold. The effect she had on him would never not amaze her.
She definitely wanted to see.
please
(Y/N) waited, sitting in the message thread. Her imagination ran wild, filling in the gaps his absence left behind.
She wondered how long he would be home before she would drip to her knees. Would she let him put his things away, or would he feel the same need she did and take care of her as soon as he made it through the door? Would he press her against the door, his hair still pulled back from his flight, minty gum being ground between his molars? Or would he give her the courtesy of placing her on the kitchen counter, shorts pulled to her ankles?
Could she get him to play with her, chasing her into their bedroom before she tugged him down atop her? So she could lay just like she was now, on her back with her head cushioned by a pillow smelling of him. In her head, she would have something much prettier on, but if he wanted her pretty socks on, she could do that for him. She could spread her legs for him, let him fit himself between her thighs.
Her breathing was labored as she took the hand bundled between the sheets to the small of her stomach. Her phone was still hovering above her face, waiting for the response she needed from Harry, but now her attention was beginning to split in half.
Now, she noticed the goosebumps on her skin, rising in the wake of her own touch. The feeling brought her back to their first Valentine's Day. When he had sat behind her, their hands looped together between her legs, showing her exactly how to touch herself, to emulate the way he took care of her. Her fingertips had only touched the first thread of the elastic around her waist when a message came through.
Or a video did.
There was a part of her that was worried that she didn't even hesitate before pressing play. The other part of her was too worked up to care.
The video took over the full screen in an instant, the sound turned up just enough to hear soft noises. (Y/N) hurried to turn the volume up a few notches when she realized what she was looking at.
With his sweats pushed down to his thighs, showing off the ink needled into nearly every inch of his skin, Harry had his hand fisted around his cock. Only lamps were turned on in his hotel room, leaving the space in buttery, limited light. Shadows were elongated, everything just a touch darker than she was sure it was in real. Including the black nail polish that glimmered on his fingers as he stroked his hand over his cock.
The tip was red and ruddy, blurting with precum. He was much more worked up than she was expecting, the long night having taken a toll on him. Slick, soft pats of his hand hitting his base sounded through her phone, in conjunction with the heady pants behind the camera.
Her mouth ran dry when she heard her name being moaned. She had missed that voice so much.
All over a single photo she had sent.
A week apart was much too long, it appeared.
Abruptly, the video stopped. She didn't think before she tapped the screen again, urging the clip to start over.
Watching the video once more, (Y/N) allowed her other hand to drift lower. Breaching the waist of her underwear, she pictured his hand as her eyes fluttered to a close. It was jarring, the first touch to her clit. The last time she had done this for herself, had been under Harry's supervision that day. Never had she been alone before.
Though, she figured she wasn't really alone, not when she heard the grumbling tone of his moans filtering through the room. The call of her name as he jerked his fist over his length.
With her mind becoming a bit more muddy with every breath, she attempted to remember just how Harry worked her up and helped her through the shaky breaths entering her lungs.
He always started at her clit, working the bud in tight circles, borrowing wetness from her slit to keep her movements slick. Her back arched as she slid her finger lower, parting her folds to where her pulsing opening beckoned to someone miles away.
Her lungs shuddered, breathing uneven as she attempted to focus. Pulling her eyes open (she hadn't even known they closed, really) she directed the small portion of her attention she had to spare towards her phone. The video had ended, the screen moments away from locking before she tapped her thumb.
Swiping to their messages, she didn't think.
harry oh my god
i miss you so much daddy I wish you were here this doesn't feel the same without you
i need you
A trio of dots came up on the corner of her screen.
Can I see you, baby? I miss you too so much.
When I get home I m going to take such good care f you I promise
Be good and show daddy what he's doing to you love I need it
How he knew so clearly what to say to her, what would clear through the much and spear into her chest, she was never going to be sure, but she would always be grateful.
His request for another photo was a steady distraction. It allowed her to keep some of her head on straight instead of losing every bit of her to the pleasure she was eliciting between her legs. Taking a hurried moment, she shimmied her panties down her stockinged legs until the garment was hanging off of an ankle. Spreading her legs wide, her phone angled just so, the camera caught a view of the softness of her stomach to the middle of her thighs. Just the top scalloping of the lace was caught from the stockings.
Her hand, tucked just so, worked between her legs. She wasn't sure if the slick sounds permeating the room was going to be picked up, but she hoped so. She hoped Harry would be able to hear what such a simple video had done to her. That she had viewed it twice, her underwear now sporting a damp spot with that same wetness being pulled up to coat her clit. That she really did listen when he attempted to show her how to take care of herself, circling her fingers around the bud with her pulsing opening waiting for him the second he made it back home to her.
Oh god, when he got home.
She didn't doubt that he was going to take perfect care of her. Throwing her head back, (Y/N) lost sight of the screen of her phone, but a different view took over her head.
This one had Harry sitting before her, letting her nestle between his thighs as he stroked his cock in front of her face. She could see the pearls of precum beading down his length to be swept away in his stroking fist. Glistening and throbbing. She would open her mouth and let him do anything he wanted—
"Daddy," she breathed, blinking back to the world when she realized she still had a video she was to be directing.
Keeping her hand between her legs, she shut off the camera. She only made a couple of presses before the video was off to Harry, though she kept working her fingers over her clit, dipping low in teasing touches before returning to the bud. As much as she would have liked to feel something sinking deep inside her, the idea didn't sound as appealing when she knew her own fingers weren't going to cut it. She would save that bit for Harry; toying with her clit was doing a well enough job, and she didn't have the attention to take care of two different paces, if she was honest.
A handful of responses were delivered to her at a rapid-fire pace.
can I save that video baby
you look so pretty with your hand between your legs
Doing what daddy taught you rigt
Im so fuckign proud of you I miss you so much angel
can I see you cum please
for me
Fitting her bottom lip between her teeth, (Y/N) barely was able to keep her hand from shaking as she typed.
I want to see you:(
It was at the same moment that her phone buzzed. A FaceTime call. From Harry.
"Harry?" she greeted, breathless when she answered. She didn't need to glance at the tiny box of herself to know that her eyes were lidded and wild, mouth parted and swollen.
"Oh fuck, (Y/N)," he muttered, the view of his face obstructed from the messy state of his hair. His cheeks blazed with warmth, baby hair clinging to his temples. "You're close, love? Can y'cum with me?"
(Y/N) practically melted into the mattress at the sound of his voice. She missed this so much—missed him more than she even realized until then. Her clit pulsed under her finger.
"Uh-huh," she nodded, debating turning her camera around before blinking at her phone screen. "Do you... I can show you."
A string of curses left his raspberry mouth. "Let me see, baby. Let daddy see."
She didn't have to give another thought before she was punching the button, reversing the camera to show a view of her spread legs. Her hand was clearly working over her pussy, the slick sounds not matching the circling of her fingers.
"That feel good, angel?" Harry panted, his eyes almost falling closed before he suddenly remembered what was in front of him. A quiet whimper broke from her throat. "I know, baby. 'M sure it feels so good, huh?"
For the hundredth time in the last handful of minutes, she wished Harry was with her. She wished he was hovering above her, that she could see the look on her face and the need flashing through her eyes. That he would know what she needed just from looking at her, but she supposed she could handle that part for the night. Maybe.
"R-Really good, daddy," she let out, breathless, "I-I want to see you—I'm—"
Before her eyes, she saw the screen flip. Where his flustered face had been was now a view of his cock. Much like his video, his fist was working relentlessly over his length, though he decidedly looked much more desperate. He was gleaming in the sheen of his precum, his thumb swiping through the near constant river dripping down. From the way he was breathing alone, she was sure he was close.
"Harry—oh my god," she murmured, barely finding her voice, "Wh-When you get home, will you—Can you let me do that for you, please? I want you so bad."
It was a bold request, so bluntly spoken in her book. Though it only seemed to spur Harry on. His cock jumped in his hand, another stream sliding down his cock.
"You're gonna make me cum, baby," he groaned, the camera going shaking like his breathing, "I wanna see you first—can y'do that for me? Are y'close?"
Shifting her hold on her phone, she moved her camera to show the pace of her fingers between her legs, working over her clit. She moved her legs wider apart, her movements growing messy and clumsy. Knowing that he was watching her was enough to have her arching her back.
"So close, so close," she muttered, her voice thick in her throat.
"Show me." The command of his voice was so enticing. "I wanna see how much y'miss me, love."
When he put it that way, she couldn't hold off any more. She wanted him to know just how badly she missed him, how much she wished she was at his side, hands on each other. Shuttering her eyes, she hoped she kept her hand steady as she felt herself unravel. Though it didn't compare to the fire Harry lit in the pit of her stomach, the flames lighting under her skin was enough to simmer her blood and warm her body.
Whimpering calls of his name—both of them—fell from her lips. Her breasts heaved under her bra, heart pounding just as hard. Her fingers lagged around her clit as her hips bucked upwards into her hand. Her folds grew impossibly slick, her insides clenching around nothing. Especially when she heard the responding moans from Harry on the other end.
It took effort to peel her eyes open, to look at her own show playing on her phone screen.
Harry was cumming, his hand still tight around his cock. Ropes of his release spurted from his tip, dripping down to his stroking hand. Deep, heavy moans fell from his lips. (Y/N) could only imagine the way he looked with his lips parted, eyes shuttered closed with his hair a messy halo around his head. How it would feel to have her head against his chest, feeling the vibrations of his voice under her ear.
Aftershocks wracked through her body as she watched him. More and more clarity streaked through her head as she watched his own comedown begin. Through the camera, she could see the way his strokes began to slow, hand shaking as he loosened his grip. Small dribbles were all that remained of his release before he hissed, removing his hand completely.
(She wasn't going to say it now, but she felt a bit... sad to know that the slick release covering his hand was going to be washed away. She would have cleaned him up better).
Her own hand retreated from between her legs. Her legs moved to close around the phantom touch that had her insides pulsing. She wondered if Harry was able to see the glistening slick over her fingers before she turned the camera back around.
"Harry?"
It took a bit, a lingering pause with heavy breaths before Harry followed suit.
"Sorry," he murmured, his face flushed as he blinked his eyes open, "Are y'alright, love?"
Nestled amongst the sheets that still smelled of him, (Y/N) felt a dazed smile touch her lips.
"I'm good. Are you okay?"
"'M alright," he confirmed, a subtle grin matching hers. "That was a lot, huh?"
She suddenly felt shy. As if this was the most scandalous thing they've ever gotten up to.
"A little. But, good, right?"
"Good. Really good," he cemented, a light in his eyes, "Not what I thought we were going to do tonight, but worth it."
(Y/N) hummed. "I just wanted help picking out an outfit."
A loud laugh bubbled from her love. "Well, at least y'know my favorite."
Rolling her sheets, legs still a bit sticky, (Y/N) could only mimic the smile on his face. "I guess so. But I don't know if I can wear that if that's how it made you feel."
"Maybe not," he prattled, "Might have to be something just for the two of us."
"Maybe," she sighed.
On her phone, she watched Harry's eyes grow heavy. Once glance at the time showed her how late the night had grown while they were busy. All after the long day Harry had gone through.
"Do you think you'll be able to sleep now?" she asked, her voice decidedly quieter and more even than just moments before.
"Probably," Harry hummed, a lazy smile pulling his lips, "Are you tired?"
"A little. I still need to clean up, but you know me."
"Don't I ever," he teased, affection swimming in his gaze, "Only two more sleeps, sweetheart."
"Two more sleeps," she repeated, a sigh fanning from her lips, "I'll talk to you in the morning?"
"I'll text y'when I wake up," he assured, exhaustion lessening only to make room for the fondness infiltrating his features. "Goodnight, baby. Love you."
"Love you, too, H."
The last thing she saw was the loving smile on his face before the screen cut back to their messages. It made her skin warm seeing the last few texts they shared. Everything always seemed a little bit silly once that cold clarity hit.
Not that she would change a single moment, of course. Though she didn't see the photo thing becoming the norm between them, it definitely didn't seem so scary with Harry on the other end.
It felt... nice, even. Even without her right in front of him, Harry still was the most loving, most affectionate. He was miles and miles away and she was still the most appealing thing to him. After a long day, she was the one he wanted to see.
Biting her bottom lip between her teeth, she pulled up the keyboard one more time.
you can save that video btw !
—————
(Y/N) practically bounced in her spot, eyes fixed to the front door and Evie in her arms.
He should be back at any second.
Like, now.
... Or, now.
Her lips thinned. Evie wriggled in her arms.
Maybe, now?
A chirping meow left Evie.
"I know, I know," (Y/N) murmured, "As soon as daddy's home, I'll feed you, okay? He should be home in just a second, Ev—"
The sound of the doorknob turning plucked her attention. Even Evie turned to see what was going on. Finagling out of her arms, the kitten rushed towards the door, large eyes directed upwards, waiting for her dad to appear.
Pushing open the door, Harry was revealed, in a comfortable all black outfit with the hood of his sweatshirt draped over his head. Just as she pictured, he still had gum being chewed between his molars. His eyes were tired, though there was a spark that filtered through his gaze when he saw the tiny creature at his feet.
"Hi, Ev," he murmured, duffle bag dangling over his shoulder as he bent down to pet between her ears. "I missed you so much, little."
(Y/N) smiled at the affectionate tone of his voice, her hands clasped into a bundle under her chin.
Harry lingered with his cat for only a second before he peeked up at her. Right where she was perched on the arm of the couch, a silky short dress clinging to her form. Stockings on her legs.
"Hey, you."
Launching herself at him, (Y/N) flung her arms around his neck. Harry didn't hesitate before he reciprocated her hold, caging her to his c test with the bar of his arms around her back. Lifting her feet off the floor, he tucked his head into her neck, twirling her with the tips of her toes grazing the floor.
"I missed you," she murmured, taking in the perfume of his scent. The sheets were beginning to dull, and while she had the full-size of his cologne in their bathroom, it didn't have the same notes that his skin, his laundry, his hair had. It didn't smell the same without the warmth of him underneath.
Harry pulsed his arms around her, the muscles blocking out of his body keeping her steady in his hold. "I missed you too, baby. Next time, you're coming with me, okay? We'll figure something out for Evie and your classes."
"Okay," she blindly agreed, nodding her head in his neck, "I'm coming with you."
Taking in a deep breath, Harry shifted his hold on her until he had an arm barred around the back of her thighs. It took a tap of his fingers on the plush skin, the strip between the hem of her nightdress and the lace of her stockings, to get to wrap her legs around his hips. Armed with both his duffle and his love, he started towards their bedroom.
"Wanna shower with me first, or should we do that after?"
"After?"
She felt the breath of his laughter fan across her bare shoulder.
"After I keep my promise. Y'didn't wear all this for nothing, right?"
(Y/N) only locked her ankles around his back.
"Shower after."
His hand shifted, giving her backside a small swat.
"That's what I thought."
—————
this has been a long time coming so I hope everyone likes how it turned out! thank you sooooo much for reading, sorry for any mistakes, and pleaseee if you have anything fun like an idea or request pleaseee send it in!
#writing#harry#harry styles#harry one shot#harry blurb#harry imagine#harry smut#tattoo artist harry#harry x reader#harry styles one shot#harry styles blurb#harry styles imagine#harry styles smut#tattoo artist harry styles#harry styles x reader#pleasing#harrys house#as it was#fine line
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Radio Silence | Chapter Thirty
Lando Norris x Amelia Brown (OFC)
Series Masterlist
Summary — Order is everything. Her habits aren’t quirks, they’re survival techniques. And only three people in the world have permission to touch her: Mom, Dad, Fernando.
Then Lando Norris happens.
One moment. One line crossed. No going back.
Warnings — Autistic!OFC, strong language, time-skips, the absolute shit-show that was the first half of the 2023 season.
Notes — Amelia being McLaren's literal saviour? IKTR
2023 (Saudi Arabia — Silverstone)
The paddock in Bahrain had started to quiet down after qualifying, the desert heat finally slipping away into a cooler breeze. Amelia was walking through the paddock, steps quick and stride polished, muttering statistics under her breath and trying to burn off some extra energy before debriefs were due to begin.
“Amelia.”
She turned. Adrian stood just outside Red Bull’s motorhome, hands in his pockets, watching her with a thoughtful expression.
“Hi, Adrian,” she greeted, smiling politely at the man she’d once idolised who had become something more reminiscent of a friend over the last two years.
“Do you have a minute?” He asked.
She gave a one-shouldered shrug. “Sure.”
He gestured for them to walk a little away from the thinning crowds. “I’ve been wanting to speak with you since testing, but I figured it was better in person rather than on the phone.”
Amelia waited, quiet.
Adrian glanced toward the Red Bull garage, then back at her. “You have done something incredible,” he said. “The car — it’s… brutally efficient. Elegant, even. It’s the cleanest thing I’ve seen come out of our CFD pipeline in five years. Maybe longer.”
Amelia’s brow ticked up. “Thank you.”
He studied her for a moment, brow furrowed slightly. “So why did you leave, Amelia? You could’ve ridden that thing straight through another championship with Max. Earned the credit. The spotlight. A long, solid legacy.”
“I didn’t need to,” she said simply.
He blinked, thrown off. “Didn’t need to… win?”
“I didn’t need credit,” she clarified. “That was never the point. Max knows that this years car is ours — mine and his, in a way. You know, too. That’s enough for me.”
“You designed one of the most dominant aero concepts I’ve seen in a decade,” Adrian said, still incredulous. “And walked away before it even hit the track?”
Amelia nodded. Shrugged. “I didn't build the car for glory. I built it because I knew what it could be. And then I gave my concepts to you, so that you would make them happen, and you did.” She pursed her lips. “Max didn’t need me anymore. He knows how to handle a championship. He’s done it twice, now.”
“And McLaren does need you?” Adrian pressed.
“Yes,” she said. Smiled. “They do. Oscar too.”
Adrian looked at her like he was trying to understand a language he didn’t speak. Slowly, he said, “You’ve created a car that will be remembered for generations.”
“I know.”
“And you don’t care that you won’t get the credit?”
“No,” she said. “Doesn’t change what I did.”
There was a long silence, the dusk settling over them in a soft hush.
Adrian let out a slow breath, almost reverent. “I admire it, you know. Even if I don’t understand it.”
Amelia gave him the faintest smirk. “That’s okay. I’m not an easy person to understand.”
“No,” Adrian agreed. “But you’re very, very good.” He paused. “God, sometimes, Amelia, I wonder if maybe you’re better than me.”
“I might be. One day,” she said, and turned to go.
—
The debrief room was quiet, too quiet.
Oscar sat back in his chair, legs outstretched, eyes on the floor. His race suit was half-unzipped, his undershirt sweat-darkened at the collar. Amelia sat at the head of the small conference table, her iPad flat in front of her, her stylus spinning slowly between her fingers.
“Well,” Oscar said dryly. “That was shit.”
Amelia’s lips twitched. “You’re not wrong.”
He tilted his head. “Can I ask something?”
“Of course you can.” She frowned at him.
Oscar looked over at her, brow creased faintly. “You knew the car wasn’t going to be good this year. You warned me. So why did you still come back to McLaren?”
Amelia leaned back in her chair, thought about it, then shrugged. “Well, you were a big part of it.”
Oscar blinked at her.
“You needed somebody who was able to make the most of a bad situation,” she said. “Not someone who’d write it off before the lights went out. You’re better than the car right now. But the car won’t stay this way forever; I promise you that.”
Oscar was quiet for a moment. “Right. Thanks,” he said eventually, voice low.
“Don’t get sentimental,” Amelia said, flicking a button on her iPad. “We’re both going to be angry for a while, at least until I can fix this.”
He nodded, some of the stiffness leaving his shoulders. “Fine by me.”
She tapped through to the race data, then looked up. “Okay. So. Let’s talk lap one.”
Oscar squinted. “What was wrong with lap one?”
“You braked late into Turn 10. Just like you did in qualifying.”
“Maybe the corner needs to come sooner,” he muttered, deadpan.
Amelia rolled her eyes. “Maybe you just need more time in the sim.”
Oscar made a face. “If I spend any more time in it than you already make me do, I might merge with the chair.”
They dove into the telemetry together then — back and forth, sharp and focused, their language slowly becoming shorthand. She pointed out throttle traces, he challenged her on strategy calls. She fired back with sector deltas, he offered precise corner feedback.
By the time they were done, an hour had passed.
Oscar leaned back, drained but calmer. “You’re intense.”
“Yeah,” Amelia said, unapologetically. “I’m also right, most of the time.”
He nodded. “Yeah. You are.”
She packed up her iPad, stood, and gestured toward the door. “Come on, ducky,” she said. “My husband is probably pacing somewhere, lamenting about how shit his car is. We need to stop him before he spirals.”
Oscar made a face as he got to his feet. “I don’t like being ducky.”
Amelia shrugged, unconcerned. “Too bad. You are.”
He sighed. “Why can’t I just be Oscar?”
“You can,” she said simply. “But you’re ducky too. Both can be true.”
Oscar blinked at her, clearly expecting more of an explanation. Amelia paused in the doorway, tilting her head like she was debating whether to explain. Then she did — bluntly, honestly, in her Amelia way. “Nicknames are… structure,” she said. “They help me sort people. Feelings. Connections. If I nickname you, it means I’ve decided I trust you. It’s like… mental shorthand. Emotional filing.”
Oscar’s brow furrowed. “Like… categories?”
“Exactly,” she said, eyes lighting up slightly. “It’s not random. It means something. I call you ducky because you’re calm on the surface and all chaos underneath, and also because you look like someone who would fall asleep in a bathtub. And because I like you. You’ve earned it.”
He stared at her. “I… don’t know what to do with that.”
“You don’t have to do anything with it,” she said, already halfway down the hall. “Just know that it means I’ve put you in the ‘safe’ column.”
Oscar followed, a little dazed. “That’s a lot to attach to a duck.”
Amelia smiled to herself. “Also, my husband kept saying that I imprinted on you like a mother duck, so…”
They rounded the corner and found said husband, Lando, in the corridor, muttering to himself with a piece of tyre compound data pulled up on his phone.
Oscar pointed wordlessly.
Amelia just sighed. “See? Spiralling. I told you.” She stepped forward, nudged the phone down, and gently took her husband’s hand. “Hey,” she said. “You did well with what you had.”
Lando looked between the two of them, Amelia’s steady face, Oscar’s unreadable one, and let out a breath that was mostly a laugh. “We’re going to be fucking shit this year, aren’t we?” He asked.
Amelia sighed. “I hope not. I’m already trying to get my hands on the car, but the cost cap is preventing me from making any significant changes this early…”
Lando pouted at his wife.
“Pizza?” Oscar asked.
Amelia’s head snapped around in his direction. “Yes!”
Lando was still pouting when he said, “Sure. Yeah. Whatever. Depression pizza. Yay!”
—
The glass walls of the office reflected the glow of early evening. Outside, the MTC lake was still, pale with late-winter. Inside, Amelia sat at the head of the table with her knees drawn up in the chair, a pink, battered notebook open in front of her.
Andrea leaned in to look closer. “You did this all by hand?”
Amelia didn’t look up. “I think better with a pen and paper.”
Her dad, seated opposite her, turned a few pages. His brows rose as he scanned carefully drawn schematics, annotated calculations, wind tunnel projections, notes in tiny, slanted handwriting. Everything from ride height tweaks to theoretical suspension layouts to predicted competitor development trends.
“This is a full concept,” Andrea said, quietly impressed. “This is… years worth of work.”
“Just a few weeks,” Amelia said. “That’s not just theory in there, though. That’s a car.”
Zak sat back, flipping to the final page. It was labelled, in block capitals, with an underlined title.
PROJECT: MCL38-AN
Underneath, in her neat writing.
It’ll win if you trust it.
He looked up. “This will put us back on top?”
“I know it will,” Amelia said, finally meeting their eyes. “Everything I’ve learned — from Red Bull, from Max, from every telemetry graph and CFD failure and stupid porpoising issue in the last two years — I used it all. And not just to make something clever. To make something fast. Reliable. Adaptable.”
Andrea gently closed the notebook. “This is championship-level ambition.”
“It’s more than ambition,” Amelia said. “It’s your 2024 car. The notebook is yours now.”
Her dad raised his eyebrows. “You don’t want to keep it?”
She shrugged. “No. I won’t need it, but you will. I’ve already made a million copies, but I’d like you to keep the original.”
Her dad looked at her and reached for the notebook again with something like reverence. “We’re going to need to start assembling a team around this immediately.” He said.
“I already started,” she told him. “Tom in aero’s got preliminary CFD models. Jordan’s been mocking up rear suspension geometry in CAD for two weeks.”
Andrea laughed softly, almost disbelieving. “You went over our heads?”
“I’m not very good at leaving things to chance,” she said. “And our car this year is awful. So bad. I needed to start making something happen, even if most of it will have to wait until next year.”
Her dad stood and leaned across the table, hand on the notebook. “Honey, this is…”
“Yours. Ours.” She said.
Andrea let out a breath.
Her dad stared at her for a beat, and then he was beaming.
—
It was nearly midnight, and the MTC was mostly dark — save for the soft hum of light in the engineering wing. Amelia sat on the floor of her office, legs crossed, iPad glowing in her lap.
Oscar lay stretched out on the rug in front of her, still in his training kit, a protein shake abandoned next to him. Lando was in her desk chair, spinning gently, half-asleep and barefoot.
“This is the weirdest sleepover I’ve ever been to,” Oscar muttered.
“You say that every time you hang out with us,” Lando replied, yawning.
“I mean it every time.” Oscar said.
Amelia didn’t look up. “Shut up. I’m trying to change the trajectory of your entire careers right now.”
That got their attention.
Lando leaned forward. “What are you doing, baby?”
Amelia turned the iPad so they could both see the screen. Her voice was calm, even, but there was a thread of something bright underneath it. “This is going to be your 2024 car.”
Oscar blinked. “You—what?”
She tapped through a few screens: 3D renders, rear suspension models, aero flow maps. “Codename MCL38-AN. I told you both that I already had it planned out, didn’t I?”
Oscar sat up straighter. “You really think that’ll put us at the front of the grid?”
“Yes,” she said. “You’re driving scrap metal right now, I won’t lie. It’s holding you both back. But this car—” she tapped the image again “—this is what we’re building toward. This is the one. The team just needs time. I need time.”
Oscar was staring at the iPad, wide eyed. “You’re sure.”
“I’ve never been more sure of anything. All I need is for you to keep showing up. To keep believing. We’re not going to be at the back of the grid forever.”
Lando stood, walked over, and looked down at the designs for a long moment. “It’s beautiful,” he said quietly.
“I know.”
“Why are you showing us now?”
“Because,” she said, glancing between them, “I can’t ask you to keep suffering through this season unless you have a reason. A future. This is your future. You’ll win races in this car.”
Oscar laughed, breathless and stunned. “Holy shit.”
“Yeah,” Amelia said, finally smiling. “Holy shit.”
Lando slid down onto the floor beside her, shoulder brushing hers. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Us. This team. This sport.”
“Thanks,” she said.
Oscar pointed at the iPad again. “Can I name it?”
“No.” She said.
“Can I drive it now?” He asked.
“It doesn’t exist yet.” She told him.
“Then can I keep being your ducky?”
She looked at him, bemused. “You want to be ducky now?”
“I’m reconsidering my argument,” he muttered. “Out of loyalty…”
Lando was grinning. “We’re going to win championships, aren’t we?”
Amelia nodded. Smiled at her husband. Kissed him. “Yes. We are.”
—
They got back to Monaco well past midnight, Lando wordless beside her in the car. The race had been brutal. Another pointless race. Another weekend where the car hadn’t performed, and the looped back data had made her want to throw her laptop into the Red Sea.
But home was home.
Amelia dropped her bags in the entryway, kicked off her trainers, and walked straight to the kitchen, wordlessly opening the fridge. She fished out a can of Diet Coke and pressed it to her forehead.
Behind her, Lando wrapped his arms around her waist and rested his chin on her shoulder.
"You gonna fire me?” He asked quietly.
She laughed despite the burning itch under her skin. “No. You did your best.”
“Yeah.” He exhaled against her neck.
They stood like that for a beat. Amelia breathed in the scent of his hoodie and let the familiar weight of him soothe the static in her chest. He was solid. Warm. Hers.
Finally, she turned around and kissed his jaw. “It’ll get better.”
Lando nodded. “Good. Because I’m getting real tired of seeing you more frustrated than smug.”
She cracked a smile. “I’m always smug.”
“There she is.”
—
Amelia didn’t cook often, but when she did, it was loud, chaotic, and always somewhat efficient.
Oscar sat at the breakfast bar, watching her with mild horror as she chopped onions at a blinding speed.
“You’re a very violent chef,” he observed.
“The quicker it’s done, the better,” she said. “Now pass me the basil, ducky.”
He handed it over. “Still don’t particularly like being called that.”
“Don’t care.” She glanced at him over her shoulder. “Do you want red or white wine?”
—
The living room was littered with discarded Uno cards, an empty pizza box, and the remains of someone’s sprite can that Max Fewtrell had been using as a drum for the last ten minutes.
“You are cheating,” Pietra said flatly, accusing Lando with a pointed look.
“I’m just playing strategically.”
Amelia, half-asleep on the sofa with her feet in Lando’s lap, mumbled, “Strategically being a little shit, yeah.”
“Don’t hate the player,” Lando shot back, tugging her ankle gently. “Hate the wife.”
“You’ll sleep on the couch for that,” she muttered, eyes still closed.
Max Verstappen arrived late, as usual. Amelia opened one eye when he collapsed beside her on the sofa and started picking at the leftover cold garlic bread.
“Missed you.” She told him sleepily.
“Missed you too, zusje.” He said.
She leaned her head briefly against his shoulder.
—
The Spanish GP had been marginally better than the ones that’d come before. Still not good. But better.
Back at the airport, Oscar sat cross-legged on the floor, headphones in, while Amelia reviewed strategy notes and Lando bought three Snickers and two iced teas.
Lando dropped next to her with a huff, his arm winding around her waist, hand flexing before squeezing her hip. “I’m considering sabotage.”
“Of?”
“The car. I’m gonna drive it into a lake or something.”
Oscar pulled one headphone off. “Wouldn’t it sink?”
Lando stared at him. “That’s your concern?”
“Hydrodynamics are important.” Oscar smirked.
Amelia sighed. “You’re both ridiculous.”
Lando grinned. “You love it.”
She didn’t reply, just leaned closer, then passed him a highlighter. “Help me mark the wind tunnel data.”
—
They’d flown into Spielberg a little early to prep and decompress. Amelia had her notes. Lando had brought five pairs of sunglasses and absolutely no socks. Oscar was, predictably, already on his fifth stretch of the legs down the paddock.
The three of them walked the track together at sunset, shoes crunching against the gravel.
“You know,” Amelia said, glancing between the two drivers, “if either of you crashes this weekend, I won’t be happy.”
“Would you leave me for dead?” Oscar asked, deadpan.
“Yes.” She lied.
“She wouldn’t,” Lando said.
Amelia looked ahead, wind tugging at her hair, then back at the boys; her husband and her ducky.
This job was hell. The car was beyond flawed. The season wasn’t what they’d hoped.
But this, this team, this family, this effort, felt like something worth holding onto.
—
Silverstone came, and there was a shift.
It wasn’t everything. But it was something.
Amelia stood just outside the McLaren garage, arms crossed over her chest, watching the mechanics finish prepping the car for FP1.
The upgraded floor. The reshaped side-pods. The altered rear suspension geometry she’d argued over for weeks.
It was all here. On track. Real.
It wasn’t perfect — of course it wasn’t. The budget cap had demanded compromises. She hadn’t been able to implement the full package she’d thrown together back in March. That version of the MCL60 was meaner, leaner, cleverer — a little monster of a thing. A title fighter.
But this was the one they could afford. And she’d made it the best it could be.
Oscar stepped beside her, helmet tucked under his arm, race suit halfway unzipped. “Doesn’t look like a paper towel on wheels anymore.”
She hummed. “No. More like... a reinforced napkin. Maybe a placemat.”
He gave her a sideways glance. “How confident are you?”
She exhaled slowly. “Seventy percent we’re in the points. Fifty percent one of you surprises me. Zero percent we DNF. I’ve triple-checked the aero modelling. You’re safe.”
He nodded, quiet for a moment. Then, “I know it’s not what you wanted.”
“No,” she said honestly. “It’s not. But it’s what we’ve got. And it’s good enough to fight for points rather than the chequered flag.”
Oscar squeezed her shoulder. Tight. “I trust you.”
There was something boyish in the way he said it. Uncomplicated. She smiled and nudged him toward the car. “Go, ducky.”
“Still don’t like that.”
“Don’t care.”
—
By Sunday, the paddock was electric.
The buzz was real. The performance gains were visible. And people were talking.
After qualifying, someone from Sky asked Lando if he felt like McLaren were back in the fight for ‘best of the rest’.
He didn’t even hesitate. “Yes. We’ve got Amelia Norris to thank for that.”
That one made her throat pinch.
Later, back in the garage, she caught Andrea’s eye as he leaned over the pit wall screens. He grinned, then gave her a thumbs-up.
Even her dad, who’d spent the last several months managing expectations to sponsors and shareholders, gave her a bear hug that nearly knocked her clipboard out of her hands.
“You’ve made believers out of us again, kiddo,” he said into her ear. “They’re already asking about 2024.”
Amelia stepped back and smiled tightly. “Let us get through this race first.”
—
Lando was flying. Oscar was right on his gearbox. And Amelia was vibrating in her seat, headset digging into her ears.
The car wasn’t just competitive; it was racy. Bold. Alive.
She and Will traded glances as they watched Lando chase down Lewis.
“This is all you,” Will said.
She didn’t respond. She couldn’t. Her heart was somewhere near her throat.
Oscar’s voice crackled in her ear. “Is this what driving a real car feels like?”
Amelia couldn’t help it, she laughed. “Keep it clean, ducky. Still a few laps to go.”
“Is my wife crying tears of joy right now?” Lando asked over his radio. “I bet she is.”
“She is.” Will said.
“Liar.” Amelia laughed, and okay, maybe she did sound a bit choked up.
—
The crowd was still roaring and Amelia was frozen beside the pit wall, headset hair sticking out from under her cap, breathing like she’d just done the full length of the race herself.
It wasn’t a win.
But it was enough.
Lando ran up behind her and flung his arms around her shoulders, lifting her slightly off the ground as she shrieked.
“Put me down, you sweaty idiot—!”
“We did it!”
“You did it.”
“No,” Lando said, spinning her once before finally setting her down. “You did.”
He kissed her, quick and messy, and the cameras were definitely watching, but she didn’t care. She’d earned this moment.
Oscar wandered over and offered her a half-hearted fist bump.
“Better than a placemat,” he grinned lopsidedly.
“Almost a dinner plate,” she agreed.
He laughed, and then he took her to watch the podium.
Max on top. Lewis next. And then her Lando.
Her husband.
Beaming right at her.
She made Oscar hug her. Needed the deep-pressure to cut through the overwhelming joy coursing through her veins. Somebody took a picture and posted it on Twitter with the tag ‘Best racer/engineer duo EVER’.
—
Amelia was sitting cross-legged on their hotel bed, notebook open in her lap, notes scribbled in every margin.
Lando walked out of the shower, towel around his waist, hair damp.
“You’re still working?”
She looked up. “I’m trying to figure out how to sneak in another mini upgrade before Qatar.”
Lando crossed the room and kissed the top of her head. “You’re mad, you know.”
Amelia frowned. “I’m not.”
He slid into bed beside her. “C’mere. Work can wait till tomorrow.”
She paused, then closed the notebook and handed it to him. “Don’t lose it,” she warned. “That’s the future in your hands.”
He looked at the cover, scuffed, dented, covered in papaya and coffee stains, and held it like it was a sacred text.
“We’re going to have podium celebration sex now.” She told him. “I bought chequered flag lingerie.”
His eyes went wide. “Oh—Holy shit. You did?”
She smiled.
NEXT CHAPTER
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is it finally happening? 🤷🏻♀️
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The day you are cleared to return to duty, Adam texts you to come to the admin building, that Price needs to see you. You make your way back, sluggish and insecure. You hate your heats; they are a tangible reminder of your secondary designation. Yes, alphas have their ruts. They too get lost to their designated. But theirs is a drive to take and claim. Yours is, unfortunately, a drive to be taken. Claimed. Owned. And nothing embarrasses you more than the war inside between your desire to be independent, recognized for your own work, and your omega's desire to be possessed.
You're sure this meeting is about the pack. Price himself said you needed to talk about being pack after your heat. It was something you've been thinking about since Ghost's rut and the conversation with your parents, but you desperately need it to be on your terms. You know you want a pack - you've stopped lying to yourself about that - and you know they're open to courting you, at least they were when you first joined. But maybe that's changed? Maybe Price wants to tell you all you'll ever be is their teammate. And the rational part of you embraces that idea, likes being without a pack, appreciates the idea that any pack you might join wouldn't possibly interfere with your work. But your omega is violently making her presence known, snarling in your head, snapping at you when you think it would be better if Price and the others don't want you anymore.
Because she desperately wants them.
You're a little worried that you might have even cried out for Price and Ghost during your heat. Medical would have heard, but they won't say. You were too afraid of what the answer would be, so you didn't even ask when you left this morning.
Adam looks up as you walk over, comfort and concern clear on his face. "How are you doing?" he asks gently. His gaze travels over you, and you know he's cataloging every inch of your haggard appearance. With a frown, he asks, "Are you sure you've been cleared?" Technically, yes, base medical said you could resume your duties but they didn't recommend that you should. At least not for another day or two. This heat was apparently harder on your system than the previous one and the two you'd had at your last post. You know it's because your omega found her pack, and you denied her access to them.
Instead, you paste a smile on your face and wave Adam's well-intentioned concern away. "Yeah, just a bit tired is all. A little kip this afternoon should fix it," you tell him.
His frown is more pronounced, but he doesn't push. "Okay." You hear the skepticism. "They're all in the conference room."
You draw in a quick breath, and you can't keep your voice steady when you say, "Conference room? All?!" You hate how you practically squeak out the last word. Adam nods, and you walk stiffly to the door. When you open it, you're shocked to see Laswell on the screen. How humiliating will this be? It's one thing for them to decide they don't want you and cut off that avenue before it starts. It's another to do it in front of the woman who tasks your missions. How much of a failure will she see you as now? Will she even want your help?
"Ren, thank goodness," Laswell says when she sees you on screen. "We were about to get started, but I needed you here first."
You look at Price, hoping for some guidance about why Laswell would start a conversation about you not becoming their omega without you. The look he gives you in return is one of pure confusion. For the first time since receiving Adam's text, you find yourself unsure of your footing. Adam never said why Price wanted to see you, only that he did. Maybe this isn't about being pack after all.
You slide into the seat next to Gaz, same as last time, and Laswell starts. "First, the plan you and Gaz had, Ren, to snatch bits of info from everyone in Spinner's orbit gave us so much information to sift through we had to bring on extra analysts." You hang your head, ready to be scolded for causing trouble with your hairbrained idea. "But we picked up a number of threads we probably would have otherwise missed," Laswell continues. "That was some great out-of-the-box thinking," she praises.
Next to you, Gaz sits a little straighter and says, "The idea was all Ren, Laswell."
"Then, my thanks, Ren," she says, addressing you directly. "Between the little crumbs we got, and the information about the previous function Spinner attended, we were able to connect several targets to potential illegal activity. Which is why I want you and Gaz to attend the dinner in Waterloo this week. I was able to not only get tickets but put you at a table near enough to Spinner he'll be bound to spot you. Captain Price said he seemed to take an interest in you. I need you to lean into that-"
Ghost lets out a low growl, loud enough to be heard in the room but too quiet for the mic to pick it up. Price clears his throat, and from the corner of your eye, you see Soap reach out and put a hand on the lieutenant's arm. All the while Laswell keeps talking.
"-and see if Spinner is interested enough to reveal anything else. I'll arrange for Adam to take you shopping again."
"An' I need another collar," you blurt. Laswell and the team look at you. "I know 'e's this well-meaning socialite on the surface, but 'e's dark. I can get close to 'im, but I'm not doin' it without a collar." You try to keep the fear from your scent, but you haven't started the blockers again, and you worry it bleeds through the patches you threw on in medical.
Thankfully, Price and Gaz support you. "You didn't see 'ow he was wi' her, Laswell," Gaz says as Price tells you, "We'd never send ya into a situation like that without havin' yer back." You hear the whisper of Ghost's voice add, "We protect wha's ours."
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THE DIVORCE OF THE CENTURY
TRANSCRIPT OF DIVORCE PROCEEDINGS BETWEEN GRIAN AND GOODTIMESWITHSCAR, DAY 1:
His Hon. Judge BdoubleO100: Silence in the court!
[Court is not silent]
His Hon. Judge Bdubs: Silence in the COURT! I can have you all HANGED!
[The court falls as silent as is possible with a dozen Hermits present]
Judge Bdubs: Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today—
Cleo: Ahem.
Judge Bdubs: WHAT?
Cleo: That’s for weddings, Bdubs. We’re not doing a wedding. In fact, if you think about it, this is about as far away from a wedding as you can get.
Judge Bdubs: Fine fine FINE. Dearly beloathed, we have all been dragged here today because SOME PEOPLE can’t get ALONG. Grian, step forward!
Grian: Do I— is this the podium for witnesses? Who built this and why did they make it out of nothing but trapdoors? So. Okay. I’m filing for divorce.
Scar: Wait, I thought I was filing for divorce.
Judge Bdubs: LET THE DEFENDANT SPEAK.
Ren: Bdubs, my man, that’s the petitioner. The court hasn’t accused Grian of any crimes.
Cleo: [darkly] Yet.
Grian: I haven’t done any crimes! I’m filing for divorce from Scar, obviously. As my lawyer will tell you—
Judge Bdubs: Do you have a lawyer?
Grian: Yes, your Honor. This is my defense lawyer Mumbo Jumbo Esq. [Waggles a hand behind his back and hisses] Mumbo!
Judge Bdubs: Mumbo’s your defense lawyer? Aren’t you supposed to have a divorce lawyer?
Mumbo: [steps forward and bows nervously] Well, I’ve never divorced anyone, but I have got a lot of experience in defending, er, mainly myself, come to think of it, and also my valuables. From Grian, as a matter of fact. So I think I’ll stick with ‘defense lawyer’ if that’s alright with the court, thank you.
Judge Bdubs: [leans aside to confer with Cleo] Is that alright with the court? Ask Joe.
[Court Scribe JoeHills confirms this is probably alright with the court]
Judge Bdubs: Good, good, next! Scar, do you have a lawyer?
Scar: Oh, absolutely. My lawyer is this cat I found outside.
Judge Bdubs: Not Jellie?
Scar: Jellie doesn’t believe we’re really divorcing and wouldn’t come.
Judge Bdubs: Is this cat a qualified divorce lawyer?
Scar: She’s a—let me look at those markings—she’s clearly a personal injury attorney.
Cleo: Have you been personally injured, Scar?
Scar: Why, thank you for asking, I have. My feelings have been very hurt!
Ren: Uh, Bdubs, maybe the court should establish some facts. Why they’re divorcing, what the court can do for them, that sort of thing.
Judge Bdubs: YES. Let’s start with the facts. Now, we all know why you and Scar got married in the first place. Don’t stand there and make that innocent face at me, Grian, I know all the secrets. You got married because Etho and I had the WEDDING OF THE CENTURY last month and you were JEALOUS—no, don’t talk, THE JUDGE IS TALKING—you were jealous of us. [aside] Bdubs and Etho had the wedding of the century, Joe, are you writing this down?
Court Scribe JoeHills: Yep, your Honor, I’ve written that down.
Grian: It wasn’t that good.
Judge Bdubs: YOU TAKE THAT BACK.
Grian: Etho had his bouquet wrapped in a Kleenex box.
Scar: [sentimentally] Don’t you listen to him, Bdubs, I thought the flower arch was lovely.
Judge Bdubs: Thank you, Scar! I—
Cleo: You can’t find in favor of Scar because he said something nice about your own wedding decorations.
Judge Bdubs: [with dignity] —was NOT going to do that. Ahem. So, you and Scar got married because you were jealous—
Grian: We didn’t! It wasn’t like that!
Judge Bdubs: —and now you want to get divorced. Why?
[At this point Petitioner Grian and Petitioner Scar, who have been studiously avoiding each other’s gazes, appear to lock eyes by accident. They both jerk away like they’ve touched a blaze rod. Grian immediately swivels to face the bench, and this scribe has to note that at normal times Grian’s stare is disconcertingly like two soulless voids looking back at you, so it’s even worse when he’s attempting a poker face. Scar becomes very interested in his cat defense lawyer and doesn’t look at Grian at all.]
Grian: The thing is, you see, this marriage was a scam from the start.
*
EVIDENCE #1
[Dramatization by Court Scribe from participant testimony]
One month previously, a note landed in Scar’s bedroom attached to a firework rocket with a red bow and rose. This was very romantic, or at least it would have been romantic if the rocket hadn’t lodged in the rafters and set itself and a chunk of the surrounding wall on fire, but in any case it was clearly Grian making an effort, so Scar deciphered the coordinates scribbled on the charred note and set off to find out what was going on.
They pointed to a spot in the middle of nowhere. In Scar’s long experience of Grian, this meant an equal chance that they were going to make out or he was going to get inventively murdered, but this was always a gamble worth the odds.
But when he arrived, on a green hill in a quiet spot of the server, it was neither. The top of the hill had been leveled off and covered with birch wood, on which Grian was industriously spelling out something with white wool, though Scar couldn’t make out the words from his low angle of approach. Grian stopped when he spotted Scar and launched up to meet him. His wings beat so fast they were nearly vibrating.
“Scar,” Grian said, “Scar.” His grin was one of a cat who had stolen not only the cream, but the milk, the cow, and everyone else’s cows for good measure. “Scar, I’ve had an idea.”
This was clearly a planning-a-prank type of meeting, which probably meant no making out, but Grian’s pranks were not to be missed. “I’m in,” Scar said. “Do we get fancy costumes? I want a fancy costume.”
“No, Scar, that’s not the point—wait, yes, actually.” Grian angled his wings to carve tight spirals around Scar’s coasting flight, always a sign of excitement, and nudged the angle of their joint descent to land on top of the white wool scrawls. “Yes, fancy costumes are a big part of it, but that’s not—listen, this is my big gesture. Just look down.”
Scar looked down. The wool said, WILL YOU MARR.
“I ran out of wool,” Grian said. He flapped a hand. “Just because it’s a big gesture doesn’t mean it has to be finished.”
“What was it supposed to say?” Scar said innocently.
“Scar!” Grian shifted from foot to foot when he got agitated, which was always funny. “Fine! Okay! Stand there.”
The hidden trapdoor beneath their feet gave way as Grian pressed a switch. Scar yelped for form’s sake, but nothing exploded, and the only thing at the bottom of their tumbled slide was an underground bunker.
It had a table, and two chairs, and a huge corkboard on the otherwise blank walls. Grian had always had a thing for bunkers.
“This,” Grian said, with a flourish, “is the Wedding War Room.”
Scar looked around the bunker and asked the important question. “Are you going to decorate it?”
“Am I going to—no, listen, that’s not the point either. You can decorate it, if you want. The point is, you know how Bdubs and Etho got married?”
“It was beautiful,” Scar agreed immediately. “That wedding chapel? Incredible, honestly, Bdubs is a true artist. Oh! Remember the part where Etho put a river of lava through the chapel roof and glitched it into a heart?”
“Okay, but, you know what Bdubs and Etho got?
“Eternal happiness?”
“Scar.”
“No, what?”
“Bdubs and Etho got royal diamonds,” Grian said impressively. “From the vault.”
“Are they still royal diamonds if Ren’s not king anymore?” Scar said. “I thought we blew up the vault, anyway. You blew it up. I was there.”
“Do you pay any attention to anything that’s not Scarland?” Grian said. “Mumbo didn’t know what to do with the diamonds so he and Iskall built a new vault. I think Mumbo and Iskall and Impulse are the only ones who really know how to get into it. Anyway, everyone got so warm and fuzzy about Bdubs and Etho’s wedding that they all decided to open the vault up and just gave them diamonds.”
“Free diamonds?” Scar said thoughtfully.
“Free diamonds!” Grian’s eyes glittered. “Think of that vault. Stacks on stacks on stacks of diamonds. Thousands of diamonds! We could have some of those, for nothing, just by saying some words. And that’s not even mentioning the wedding presents! We’re out here spending days and days grinding resources and stocking our shops when we could be swimming in it! That could be us, Scar.” Scar had entirely forgotten the lack of interior decorations; he always did, when Grian got on a roll as mesmerizing as this.“And so,” Grian took a deep breath and held out his hand, “Scar, will you marry me?”
Scar took his hand with an enormous wave of affection. “Grian,” he said sincerely, “I have never, in my whole life, wanted to marry anyone more.”
*
EVIDENCE #2
Mumbo took the news more earnestly than Grian had expected.
“Oh,” said Mumbo. “Oh, haha, wow—seriously? Scar said something and I thought it was just a joke, but you guys actually… Wow!” He cleared his throat. “Grian, mate, it’s been a long time coming. I’m so happy for you.”
“Don’t get sappy,” Grian said. “It’s just a wedding. I mean,” he clarified, “it’s a very important wedding, obviously, because it’s my wedding, but I don’t need you to get sappy about it. I don’t even need you to talk about it. I just need you to bring diamonds.”
“I didn’t even know you were going to ask him,” Mumbo said, ignoring the very clear instructions Grian had just given him. “Or did he ask you, or—mate, that’s just brilliant. This is brilliant. Is it because Bdubs and Etho had that wedding? That was really beautiful, I don’t mind saying, I got a little bit teary.”
“This has nothing to do with any weddings anyone else had,” Grian said with dignity. “Our wedding will be better, but that’s unrelated. I didn’t come here to talk about that. I came here to ask you something.” He took hold of Mumbo’s hand in the most meaningful grip he could muster. “Mumbo, we’ve been friends for years, right?”
“Of course,” Mumbo said nervously.
Grian gave it a second’s pause for the sake of drama. “Mumbo Jumbo, will you be my best man?”
“Ah,” Mumbo said, which was not what Grian had expected. “Ah. Er. Might be a problem there.”
“What’s the problem?”
“Well, you see, five minutes ago, Scar…”
*
EVIDENCE #3
<Grian> scar
<Grian> scar
<Grian> scar
<GoodTimeWithScar> yES?
<Grian> my base.
<Grian> now.
<GoodTimeWithScar> On my way
GoodTimeWithScar hit the ground too hard
<GoodTimeWithScar> oNE MINUTE
<Grian> come in the back door
GoodTimeWithScar hit the ground too hard
<GoodTimeWithScar> Was that a trap??
<Grian> mumbo is mine
<GoodTimeWithScar> No he isn’t, Mister!
GoodTimeWithScar was slain by Ravager
GoodTimeWithScar was slain by Ravager
GoodTimeWithScar was slain by Ravager
GoodTimeWithScar was slain by Ravager
Grian was shot by GoodTimeWithScar using [HoTgUy]
<Grian> MUMBO IS MINE
GoodTimeWithScar was slain by Vindicator
GoodTimeWithScar was slain by Ravager
Grian was shot by GoodTimeWithScar using [HoTgUy]
<Renthedog>: :o
GoodTimeWithScar burned to death
<Renthedog> Everything okay there, gentlemen?
<Grian> best man debate
GoodTimeWithScar was poked to death by a sweet berry bush
<Grian> all settled now
<Renthedog> wait
<EthosLab> Wait
<BdoubleO100> WAIT
<TangoTek> are you two…?
<Grian> invitations dropping tomorrow. wedding gift mandatory.
<GoodTimeWithScar> Come one, Come all!
<Grian> only diamonds will be considered real presents
<PearlescentMoon> huh
<impulseSV> omg finally! So happy for you guys!
<PearlescentMoon> be honest Grian, is this because Bdubs and Etho got married and you had to one-up them?
<Grian> NO IT IS NOT
*
EVIDENCE #4
The bachelor party negotiations were even more hard-fought than the best man.
They held the impromptu negotiations in the Wedding War Room, which was now covered with loving maps and hundreds of bits of paper that neither of them had read since putting them up there. They looked good, though, so Scar kept adding more.
There was a pile of paper strips on the table in front of them. Scar and Grian sat facing off like two negotiators at a ceasefire.
“Mumbo’s my best man,” Grian said, picking the first name off the pile without breaking eye contact and moving it to his side of the table, “so he comes to my party.” Scar gave in with a modicum of grace. The possibility of having bachelor parties at different times had been wordlessly considered and then summarily dismissed by both combatants.
Scar escalated it to a blood sport as he picked up the next bit of paper. “Pearl’s coming to my party.”
Grian yelped and grabbed Scar’s wrist. “She is not. I knew her first!”
“I know her better,” Scar countered. “Or at least,” he added, “I know her building style better.”
“You can’t just steal my friend because you like her building! That’s not how that works!”
“I think she’d enjoy it,” Scar said meditatively. “I’m going to have champagne. Glitter. Razzmatazz.”
“I will have more champagne,” Grian said mutinously. He hadn’t taken his hand off Scar’s wrist. “And more razzmatazz. You can’t have Pearl.”
“Oh, all right then,” Scar said, since Pearl was one of Grian’s oldest friends and he’d never had a chance of getting her anyway. Grian plucked the piece of paper out of his hand and put it on top of Mumbo’s paper. “I get Bdubs, though.”
That was a given. Grian didn’t seriously dispute it, though he opened his mouth to try. ���I—yes, fine. You can have Bdubs.” Scar swept the piece of paper to his own side of the table.
“And that means,” Scar proceeded, with the grand momentum of a train starting to roll, “that I get Etho, as well.” He shuffled through the bits of paper and displayed Etho’s name like a magic trick.
He watched Grian calculate his chances of getting Etho if Bdubs was going to Scar’s party. “…okay, yeah, you get Etho.”
“Also that means I get Cleo,” Scar said. “She’ll come if Bdubs does. We don’t want to split up friends.” He drew Cleo’s name towards him, sliding another couple of slips underneath it at the same time. “Oh, and Joe as well, if Cleo’s coming.”
“What’s that other one?” Grian said suspiciously. He trapped Scar’s hand and pried out the third name. “What—no, you can’t have Ren.”
“Okay, okay, okay,” Scar said in his most reasonable voice. “Hear me out. I have Cub, right?”
“What’s that got to do with anything?”
“Well, I have Cub, and Bdubs, and Cleo, and Joe, so, by royal decree…”
“You can’t have Ren just because the five of you were in a royal murder cult with him!”
“Excuse me, mister, that wasn’t a cult. That was the royal court!”
“It was too a cult,” said Grian, a man who had once persuaded Ren into living in camper vans in the woods with him for weeks in order to break into a military base and steal a magic box.
Ren’s name was already safely on Scar’s side of the table. “And if I have Ren, then I have to have Doc—”
“Look, Scar, if you get all of Bdubs’ current and former exes—”
“—what’s a ‘current ex’—”
“—Etho and don’t interrupt me, if you get everyone Bdubs has ever had a relationship plus their plus ones you get ninety percent of our friends.”
“Is it my fault I throw good parties?” Scar protested. “Look, you can have—”
“I’m having Impulse,” Grian interrupted, pulling his name out. “I need more redstoners.”
“What for?”
Grian waved a hand. “You just need them around.” Scar nodded, unable to find a flaw in the logic. “Also I get Joel. And Martyn. And Timmy.”
“I built Jimmy a train,” Scar objected. He put his fingertips on the other end of Jimmy’s name while Grian attempted to steal it.
“All right, this is the ‘disputed’ pile,” Grian said, pushing it to the side. “Who else?”
Now they had a disputed pile, it started filling up. “If I have Cleo,” Scar said, “then technically I should have Scott—”
“You can’t keep using that trick!”
“Then how are we going to fix it, Grian?” Scar’s tone was eminently reasonable. “I think we should just let people be friends.”
“They are friends,” Grian said. “They’re friends with me.”
“They could be friends with me.”
“Tell you what,” Grian said, a warlike gleam coming into his eyes. “We’ll ask them.”
*
TRANSCRIPT OF DIVORCE PROCEEDINGS, DAY 1 (CONTINUED):
Judge Bdubs: So that’s how the split started?
Cleo: You weren’t even married at that point.
Grian: Right! Exactly! We weren’t even married and Scar used underhand methods to steal my friends!
Scar: Excuse me. You went around the server threatening everyone who you didn’t think was coming to your party. Talk about underhand methods! I just offered them a good time.
Grian: Your bribed them! You bribed them to come to your bachelor party! [stabs a finger at Judge Bdubs] You even bribed him, so I don’t know why we put him in charge of this divorce.
Judge Bdubs: Nobody is allowed to question the integrity of the judge! I am as PURE AS THE DRIVEN SNOW.
Scar: That’s a good point. I gave you netherite, Bdubs, you should be ruling in my favor.
Judge Bdubs: You gave me ONE netherite ingot, I’m not giving you a ruling for that.
Scar: Grian, I think this judge is biased.
Judge Bdubs: HOW DARE YOU.
Grian: Scar is right, this judge is corrupt! I can’t believe we were forced into this farce of a trial and the judge is corrupt! Joe, I demand a new judge.
[Court Scribe JoeHills indicates that he is pretty sure this whole divorce trial was Grian’s idea in the first place, and also that judges cannot usually be replaced just like that, and the Court Scribe personally does not have a reserve list]
Judge Bdubs: I refuse to SIT HERE and be SLANDERED! You’re both guilty! [slams gavel] TAKE THEM TO THE DUNGEONS.
[Court Scribe JoeHills confirms that the petitioners have not actually been accused of anything—despite obviously having committed many crimes, Cleo would like to me to record—so cannot be found guilty, and in any case we don’t have any dungeons]
Judge Bdubs: Fine! I give up! CLEO, YOU’RE THE JUDGE NOW.
Judge Cleo: Wait, am I?
[Judge Bdubs forcibly transfers the judicial wig to Cleo, upon which the snakes in her hair make a spirited attempt to eat it.]
Scar: Can we get on with it?
Judge Cleo: Yes, you can shut up. You can all shut up! Thank you. That’s better. Are you sure you two can’t just settle it out of court so we can all go home?
Grian: No, we can’t. Me and Scar have [checks his notes] undergone an irreparable breakdown.
Scar: Sure, we might have had an eruptable breakdown, but you can’t say it was my fault. I tried to make it work. I built us a honeymoon island! It had palm trees and deckchairs and everything. I’m coming here in good faith and I deserve to be the innocent party.
Grian: I want all the diamonds Scar has.
Judge Cleo: Joe, is he allowed to ask for that?
[Court Scribe diligently references the law summary he found on the internet, suggests that at this stage the judge can grant temporary financial orders on petitioner request]
Grian: Fine, I want half of Scar’s diamonds.
Scar: I need all my diamonds for Scarland materials!
Grian: They’re not your diamonds! They’re my diamonds!
Scar: Then I get half of all your dark prismarine, thank you very much, that will be amazingly useful.
Grian: You’re not touching my dark prismarine! I’ll sell it all if you try!
Judge Cleo: Nobody is touching anyone else’s anything! Ren, stop laughing, this is a serious courtroom. Grian, you’re not allowed to sell your dark prismarine. Scar, you’re not allowed to hide any of your diamonds. Everyone is going to keep things exactly as they are until this trial is done.
Grian: Do you trust him? Look at him, look at his face, would you trust that man? Of course you wouldn’t! All the diamonds should stay in my base while we’re having the trial.
Scar: This is outrageous! This is an outrageous demand! You can’t just question a man’s honor like that!
Judge Cleo: Well, put them somewhere safe. Joe can keep them.
Grian: [grudgingly] I suppose we could put them in the Royal Vault.
Judge Cleo: You want to put your valuables in escrow?
Scar: I don’t see what birds have to do with it.
[Short pause while the concept of ‘escrow’ is explained to both petitioners]
Scar: Well, I’ll do it, but I think Grian should put all his resources in nestcrow. Seeing as it’s all his fault.
Grian: I did everything right! I was the perfect groom!
Judge Cleo: You know, Grian, somehow I have my doubts. Go back to your marriage testimony. What happened next?
*
EVIDENCE #5
“Ahem,” said Mumbo. “Ahem.”
Grian rolled his eyes, jumped up on a table, decided that wasn’t good enough, flew up and perched on the light fitting, and yelled, “Everyone! It’s happening! The best man is speaking!”
Silence fell.
“I was actually going to announce you,” Mumbo said. He cleared his throat. “All right! So! This… is a bachelor party!”
The bachelor party–all three of them–looked at each other.
“Woohoo!” said Iskall.
“Party time!” tried Pearl gamely.
“I was promised champagne,” said Scott, who had been lured through the portal with one bribe only.
“There will be champagne,” said Mumbo. “As best man, it is my job to plan the bachelor party, and to plan a party that is… appropriate, and thoughtful, and informed by my long friendship with Grian, so,” he coughed, “if everyone could check the boxes under their chairs for supplies, we do have an event. Sort of thing. Kind of a party game.”
“Er,” said Pearl, checking under her chair. “This is… quite a lot of...”
Iskall started to giggle.
“Seriously, I was promised champagne,” said Scott.
“Yes, yes, we’ll get to that,” Mumbo said. “First, we’re going to sneak into the other party and blow them all up.”
“...so many ender crystals…” whispered Pearl.
“Look how they sparkle!” said Iskall.
“What about the—”
“And! When they’re all dead,” said Mumbo, “we can take their champagne.”
Grian flew down from the light fitting and landed in front of Mumbo. His eyes were shining. He took Mumbo’s hands in his. “Mumbo,” he breathed. “I’ve changed my mind. Can I marry you instead?”
“Er,” said Mumbo. “No?”
“Did you even order any refreshments?” said Scott.
“Listen,” Mumbo said, “it’s Grian’s party, we were going to end up doing this anyway, and it’ll be fun.”
“Dibs on blowing up Scar!” said Grian.
“We understand, Grian,” said Pearl.
“I suppose that’s sort of romantic?” said Scott in an undertone. “You’d think he’d have more trauma about it, after all the–”
“This is going to be so funny,” Grian said, scooping up handfuls of ender crystals. “Best–best man–ever.”
*
EVIDENCE #6
The actual wedding was a subdued affair.
The wedding venue had just about survived, by virtue of being several hundred blocks away from either bachelor party, though the smoking craters were visible in the background. From the front, the building was a charming mansion with flowers in every window. From every other angle it might be a gray shell, but Grian was a very busy person who was getting married and he couldn’t be expected to get to everything.
On the morning of the wedding, when Grian finally pieced himself together and dragged himself back from respawn he was met by the two Best Man candidates: Mumbo, who was sitting on the step of the venue dismally trying to piece his scorched suit back together, and Cub, who was completely unruffled and appeared to be doing a crossword.
“Oh, Grian, you made it.” Mumbo abandoned his scorched hems in relief. “Some people haven’t even respawned yet. We really do need Scar, though—”
“I’m here! I’m here!” Scar, impeccably dressed in a blue morning suit, swooped in from above, trailing flowers and losing his top hat in the process. “Gosh. Nobody else made it, huh?”
“I don’t believe this,” Grian said. “None of them?”
“Weren’t you supposed to open the portal again for the Empires people?”
“I forgot,” Grian said. “But we can’t focus on that. We have to focus on the fact that at least twenty Hermits promised to come, and now they aren’t here.”
“I, um,” Mumbo said. “I take full responsibility for the original idea, but I think the seventh time you blew up Bdubs and Ren and Doc and Zedaph you did blow up all their stuff as well. And I think some people got hit so hard they won’t respawn for a week.”
“That was their fault,��� Grian said. “For being in the way of my ender crystals.”
“Seven times?” Cub said.
“Oh, as if you’ve never blown up someone and all their stuff seven times and pushed their respawn into next week.”
“So, what?” Scar said. “Do we just…not have a wedding?”
Mumbo coughed. “I think you should still get married.”
“What?”
“I just think,” Mumbo gestured vaguely. “You know, your whole thing. And Jevin made you the suits and everything. It would be a shame. You could have an intimate wedding without any guests, you know. I’m just saying.”
Grian attempted to trade a skeptical look with Scar. This didn’t work, as Scar had gone faintly red and wasn’t looking at him. “An intimate wedding, you mean, right here?” Scar said. “Now? Oh, yes, of course, but you know, now I come to think about it, I don’t know I can get married.”
This smelled like weakness. “What’s wrong with marrying me?” Grian demanded. “Are you backing out?”
“No, I—I need my top hat! I can't get married without my top hat!”
“Are you scared, Scar?”
“Of course I'm not scared!” Scar said indignantly. “We’ll do it right now! Who’s marrying us? Oh—Joe’s still respawning, isn’t he? Cub, you can do it, can’t you? Cub’s an ordained priest, you know.”
“That’s right,” Cub said agreeably.
“Is he?” Grian said suspiciously. “Which religion?”
Cub’s faint smile didn’t change at all. “Don’t worry about that.”
“You don’t want to think too hard about it,” Scar said breezily. “But he’s very official! Very well-respected in the community.”
In all their planning, Grian had given no thought at all to the actual wedding. He was nearly certain that the chanting from the officiant was supposed to be pleasant and inoffensive, about, well, love and stuff, and he was also fairly sure the officiant’s eyes were not supposed to turn black as a flaming rift appeared behind him spewing an unknowable sense of dread, but at that point Scar kissed Grian thoroughly, and that lasted so long that Mumbo had to break it up after a few minutes with a polite cough, and by that time Cub had finished chanting and gone back to his crossword.
“That was very touching,” Mumbo said, apparently relieved they weren’t still kissing right in front of him. “Shame about the guests, but you can’t have everything.”
“Shocking,” Scar agreed. “Do they still have to give us presents? Maybe if we waited a week and did it again? I have to say, I could use a little more time to get the trees right on Honeymoon Island.”
“We’re not having a honeymoon, Scar, I told you,” Grian said. “This wedding is just business, and we don’t have any business without the presents.”
Mumbo was wearing the expression that Grian had always vaguely compared to an accountant breaking the bad news about something unspeakable going on in the stockmarket. “To be honest with you,” Mumbo said, “I don’t think many of them were in a present-giving mood. I think, um, you might have to write off the presents.”
“Are you telling me,” Grian said, “that this whole scheme has been a complete failure?”
*
TRANSCRIPT OF DIVORCE PROCEEDINGS, DAY 1 (CONTINUED):
Judge Cleo: So, let me get this straight, the plan was to scam all of us—
Scar: Scam is a strong word. More like a trade, if you think about it! A trade where we get presents and you get a warm sense of fuzziness and wellbeing.
Judge Cleo: —exactly, to scam us, and it all went wrong, and you realized the marriage was a mistake? That was weeks ago, though. What happened between that and the divorce?
*
EVIDENCE #7
LIST OF POST-WEDDING WRONGDOING COMMITTED BY GRIAN AND SCAR, VARIOUS (condensed from two hours of court arguments)
i. “Well, then I took some deepslate from Grian because I needed it for Scarland, which is just borrowing, if you think about it.”
ii. “Scar really owed me diamonds because it was his fault the scam didn’t work.”
iii. Lengthy descriptions of the damage from ensuing weeks-long prank war.
iv. “He should honestly have expected me to put chickens in his storage system.”
v. Evidence received from Xisuma that this lagged out the entire server.
vi. Evidence received from Grian that Scarland lags out the entire server anyway and this is probably a crime so why can’t the court do something about that.
vii. Strong representations from both sides that the other one snores and hogs the covers and this probably ought to be a crime.
*
TRANSCRIPT OF DIVORCE PROCEEDINGS, DAY 1 (CONTINUED):
Judge Cleo: [face down on judicial bench] Have they stopped talking yet?
Court Scribe JoeHills: No, they’re still going.
*
EVIDENCE #8
FURTHER LIST OF WRONGDOINGS COMMITTED BY GRIAN AND SCAR
viii. “Yes I did blow him up after that, but it’s not illegal if it’s funny.”
ix. Complicated debate about whether ensuing sabotage was funny enough not to be illegal.
x. Representations from Grian that everything is Scar’s fault with absolutely no legal backing at all.
xi. Representations from Scar, ditto, with the addition of fake law he says his cat defense attorney told him.
xii. At this point, Court Scribe JoeHills has given up attempting to make sense of the petitioners’ ongoing argument.
*
TRANSCRIPT OF DIVORCE PROCEEDINGS, DAY 1 (CONTINUED):
Judge Cleo: Enough! ENOUGH! No! Shut up! If I have to listen to one more attempt at utterly specious reasoning from either of you I am going to pick up this gavel and I am going to drive its handle through my own skull. This is definitely both your fault, you are terrible people, and I hope you get divorced harder than anyone has ever got divorced in history.
[Mildly stunned silence in the court]
Judge Cleo: Right. Good. I am about to quit. But before I quit, because Joe asked me nicely to come here today, I am going to order one of you to serve the other with divorce papers before tomorrow. That’s the next thing on the list: one of you has to formally divorce the other. No, I am not going to hear any more arguments, I’m done with this whole thing, you can find a new judge. Yes, Scar?
Scar: [lowers his tentatively raised hand] How do we know which one divorces the other one?
Judge Cleo: [looks blank] Well… I suppose it’s who serves their papers first?
*
COMPLAINT TO COURT:
Submitter of complaint: SCAR
Body of complaint: Grian wont accept divorce papers and keeps avoiding me.
COMPLAINT TO COURT:
Submitter of complaint: GRIAN
Body of complaint: scar didn’t take a single copy of the papers despite the fact i filled his bedroom with them
COMPLAINT TO COURT:
Submitter of complaint: SCAR
Body of complaint: Grian paid impulse to make a divorce paper printing redstone machine. It feels like this, should be Illegal!
COMPLAINT TO COURT:
Submitter of complaint: GRIAN
Body of complaint: scar employed my best man to make him a rival printing machine. this is sabotage.
COMPLAINT TO COURT:
Submitter of complaint: ZEDAPH
Body of complaint: Er, I know you’re doing a whole trial thingummy, but I would really like to be able to move around my base without swimming through mountains of divorce papers. Does it look like this is going to be possible any time in the near future?
COMPLAINT TO COURT:
Submitter of complaint: DOCM77
Body of complaint: WHY HAVE SEVENTY THOUSAND BADLY-PRINTED COPIES OF DIVORCE PAPERS BEEN SHOVELED INTO THE PERIMETER! I AM HOLDING ALL OF YOU PERSONALLY RESPONSIBLE! I WILL RAIN DOWN FIRE AND BLOOD!
*
TRANSCRIPT OF DIVORCE PROCEEDINGS, DAY 2:
Judge Mumbo: Right, so, apparently I’m supposed to be ruling on who served who with papers.
Scar: Excuse me! Objection! This new judge is clearly biased.
Grian: No, he’s not. This is all completely fine. Mumbo can be the judge now, and he can just wear a different hat when he’s being my lawyer.
Judge Mumbo: I am a bit biased, I have to admit.
Grian: No you’re not, Mumbo.
Scar: Admit it, there can’t be a fair trial for Grian under these circumstances!
Judge Mumbo: Uh—
Scar: Because I know Mumbo, and he can’t resist these…HoTgUy abs!
[Minor chaos as the court attempts to enforce a dress code]
Judge Mumbo: [removes his wig] Sorry, Grian, he’s right. Scar’s papers are accepted.
Grian: TRAITOR.
Mumbo: Scar, can I have another calendar?
*
TRANSCRIPT OF DIVORCE PROCEEDINGS, DAY 3:
Judge Ren: Court is called to order! Where’s—oh, there you are. Scar, you’re late.
Scar: Sorry! I was working on our honeymoon island.
Grian: What do you mean, our honeymoon island? Scar, we’re divorcing.
Scar: That doesn't mean you can just abandon a build, Grian. Some of us don't leave our backsides unfinished.
Cleo: Someone please get Ren a glass of water, I think he’s going to choke.
Judge Ren: Ahem. Now, gentlemen, I understand Scar is filing for divorce from Grian on the grounds of [checks his notes] desertion, abandonment, and unreasonable behavior.
Grian: Excuse me, what! If I’ve been unreasonable, what about him?
Scar: I have been a model of rationality and recti— rectic— ridiclitude.
Judge Ren: Indeed. I have heard Scar always finishes his backsides.
Grian: I’ll give you unreasonable behavior! This whole thing is your fault! If your bachelor party hadn’t been so badly defended I wouldn’t have been able to blow you all up.
Scar: Well, mister, if you hadn’t overthrown Ren in the first place he might have shown up to our wedding in spite of it!
Grian: If you’d been better at your job I wouldn’t have been ABLE to overthrow him!
Scar: You—you—oooh, I oughta—
Grian: [tauntingly] Ought to what?
Judge Ren: Scar, no, not in court…!
Scar: HOTGUY! [Retrieves bow from improbably small pocket and summarily murders his co-petitioner on the witness. Chaos ensues. Trial name hastily changed.]
TRANSCRIPT OF TRIAL PROCEEDINGS FOR THIRD-DEGREE MURDER, DAY 1:
Judge Ren: Listen, Scar, did you, or did you not, kill another petitioner right in front of me?
Scar: What? Oh, yeah, I just shot Grian.
Judge Ren: You can’t just—My dude, this might have been a crime of passion, but you understand this is a court and that was murder, right?
Cleo: Objection.
Judge Ren: Yes?
Cleo: We can’t start prosecuting for murder now.
[Pause as the court considers the comprehensive history of all Hermits present.]
TRANSCRIPT OF TRIAL PROCEEDINGS FOR THIRD-DEGREE MURDER, DAY 1
TRANSCRIPT OF DIVORCE PROCEEDINGS, DAY 3:
Judge Ren: [once Grian has returned from spawn] You’re going to have to come to some sort of agreement, gentlemen. It’s been days.
Grian: I think we should fight.
Judge Ren: This court does not do trial by combat. I refuse to be witness to such barbarity.
Cleo: I mean…if you think about it, it would stop them arguing.
Judge Ren: …
Judge Ren: I think I could stand to watch someone else compromise their morals. From a distance. Who wants this wig?
Judge Pearl: [settling in at the bench] Right! I think you two should fight. To the death.
Grian: LET’S FIGHT.
Judge Pearl: Riding ravagers.
Scar: What?
Judge Pearl: It would be funny.
Scar: Ravagers, though—
Grian: Don’t listen to Scar, he just murdered me. He doesn’t have a leg to stand on.
Scar: Alright! Alright, we can fight, but I’m only doing it if it’s somewhere dramatic.
Grian: …What do you mean, dramatic?
*
TRANSCRIPT OF DIVORCE PROCEEDINGS, DAY 3 (CONTINUED):
[The court has moved proceedings from its custom-built courthouse to a location considered ‘acceptably dramatic’ by Petitioner Scar. We are now in the dim, cavernous monolith of the Royal Vault, where the walls are sheer deepslate lit only by flickering lanterns, and mountains of diamonds and chests gleam softly in the shadowed gloom. The court is gathered here to watch the petitioners fight symbolically over their own escrowed valuables, which are piled in the middle of a stone platform built by Grian and Pearl, and see a final conclusion to this bitterly-fought split. At either end of the platform are pens with two enraged ravagers donated by Tango, salivating at the buffet of violence and blood about to—]
Judge Pearl: [leans over the edge of her observation chair] Joe! What are you doing down there scribbling?
Court Scribe JoeHills: Oh, I’m just adding narrative color.
Judge Pearl: Well, stop doing that and pay attention to the fight! We’re about to start!
Bdubs: FIGHT!
Cub: Let’s go!
Mumbo: Grian, mate, you’ve got this.
Bdubs: RUN HIM THROUGH, SCAR. TEACH HIM TO MAKE FUN OF MY WEDDING DECORATIONS.
Doc: What happens if they both die? I would like them both to die.
Judge Pearl: Contestants! Mount your steeds!
Grian: [has succeeded in landing on his ravager’s back, something Scar has not yet managed] I want you to know, Scar, that whatever happens—
Judge Pearl: Scar! You can’t just stand there, you have to TRY to ride it.
Grian: —I think we can count this as a—
Bdubs: FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!
Scar: [his head comes up to look at Grian] —a double victory?
[As if this is a code word, Grian and Scar’s gazes meet. The Court Scribe feels obliged to note that when Grian and Scar smile at the same time, history suggests something terrible is about to happen.]
Scar: Well, hello there, Mister Ravager! Would you like to get out of that pen?
Bdubs: Wait, what’s he—Scar, you ain’t supposed to break the wall that lets them at us! SABOTAGE!
Judge Pearl: GRIAN!
Grian: [shrieking as his ravager swerves into the crowd of spectators] Scar! The switch!
[Your trusty Court Scribe hurriedly dives out of the way as Scar flings himself into the pile of his and Grian’s valuables, where the tell-tale glint of redstone has been hidden under the piles of chests.]
Ren: Why do both of them have all those empty shulkers?
Cleo: Wait, wait, did we just give Grian and Scar unfettered access to all the diamonds in the vault?
Judge Pearl: WATCH OUT, THEY’VE HIDDEN TNT UNDER THE—
[Scar slams a switch. The world explodes. The Judge and most spectators are instantly blown up. The only survivors are your Court Scribe, who managed to get behind an obsidian pillar, and Cub, rising above the chaos on pre-equipped elytra wings with the philosophical serenity of someone who saw this coming.]
*
POSTSCRIPT
It’s a beautiful day, the sky is a clear and serene blue, and Grian and Scar have gotten away with everything.
Grian coasts joyfully ahead of Scar on outstretched wings, loaded down with boxes and boxes of ill-gotten diamonds, looping head-over-heels only when he can’t contain the energy bubbling through him. “We are the greatest, Scar. We are geniuses. We are the greatest geniuses who ever lived.”
“Oh, we are,” Scar agrees instantly. A lesser person might have pointed out their first plan failed spectacularly and their hasty second one only succeeded by luck, but this is why Grian married Scar specifically. Only he’s not married to Scar any more, is he? For one shining moment Grian had forgotten that.
The crater of the Royal Vault is far below and receding, the debris scattered like little jeweled toys. Grian is recalled to the present gleeful moment in which they are geniuses who have pulled the whole thing off and are richer than every other hermit put together. “Where are we going?”
“I was following you,” Scar says.
“I didn’t think this far ahead! I only planned up to the part where we stole everyone’s diamonds!”
“Oh, well, that’s easy,” Scar says confidently. “Change course to Honeymoon Island!”
Grian doesn’t have a good argument against that, and anyway, he’s too happy and diamond-dazzled to argue. Scar strikes out to the azure ocean and Grian dips into his wake and soars behind.
Scar has outdone himself, as usual. Honeymoon Island is just one long crescent-shaped beach with crystal seas, golden sands, palm trees, deck chairs, and—somehow—little iced coconut drinks that keep reappearing and each have a little paper umbrella. Naturally, Scar hasn’t thought of including a safe room for all their new valuables, so Grian has to dig out a makeshift bunker for all their ill-gotten gains, but when all that excitement is done, Grian throws himself onto a deckchair with a coconut drink and closes his eyes.
“So?” Scar says, in the expectant tone of someone who has spent three weeks fiddling with the palm trees that are currently casting an exquisitely-latticed shade over Grian’s eyelids, despite the fact they were technically divorcing all that time. “What do you think?”
“It is very pretty,” Grian admits grudgingly. “We can’t use it for a honeymoon, though. We’re divorced.”
“Are we divorced?” Scar is thoughtfully making origami out of his paper umbrella. “We did ditch them all before the trial officially finished.”
“Oh, we’re absolutely divorced. Super divorced.”
“I suppose you’re right. No honeymoon for us, then?”
An idyllic silence falls over the palm-fringed beach. The sea laps at the shining sands, creating a soft music from the shells and pebbles. The leaves rustle. This coconut drink in Grian’s hand is surprisingly good.
“Scar—”
“Hey, Grian—”
There is a pause.
“Go on,” Grian says impatiently.
“No, no, I think you should ask.”
“I asked last time!” This is ridiculous. It’s a shame Grian has been enchanted by the ridiculous for years now. “We’re probably not even talking about the same—”
Scar interrupts, which is rude, but unfortunately he’s picked his most golden and unfair voice, like the sea caressing the sand, and Grian is momentarily helpless. “Will you, Grian,” Scar says, “do me the great honor of marrying me? Again?”
Grian throws a paper umbrella at him. “Scar,” he says, “I thought you’d never ask.”
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I wish I had a smitten Bucky. Just sees me and wants me. 🥺
I know the feeling, nonnie.
Check Yes or No
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Summary: Bucky instantly falls for you, but waits to ask you out.
Word Count: Over 2.1k
Warnings: Fluff, could be seen as instalove on Bucky's side, attraction, slight insecurities, minor time jump, Alpine being the best, slight feels (it's me), Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?).
A/N: I can't send Bucky your way, lovelies, so I hope you enjoy this short, surprise fic! ❤️ Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!
Bucky wasn't looking for love the day he met you, but it found him anyway.
“Hey, Buck,” Steve greeted from his seat when he walked into the conference rooms and nodded to the spot beside him that you occupied. “I’d like you to meet our newest transfer. She’s also moving into the Tower.”
He was a changed man the moment your eyes met. Breathtaking was a word to describe you given how he had forgotten to breathe. He had witnessed many sunrises and sunsets in his life, a kaleidoscope of colors painted in the sky to both soothe and awaken the soul. They paled in comparison to the beauty before him.
One glance and he belonged to you completely.
“Hi, Bucky. It’s nice to meet you.”
While he wasn't sure if Heaven existed, you speaking his name was like hearing the voice of an angel.
“I’m Bucky.”
Of all the things he could've said, reiterating his name was what his mouth went with.
Instead of giving him a weird look or brushing him off when he scowled at himself, you smiled. “I look forward to us working together.”
Bucky couldn't tell you what the meeting was about that day, but he remembered the details about you. The way you leaned forward in your seat to pay extra attention when someone else spoke, also giving him an ample view of your chest before he reminded himself not to stare. The slight crease in your forehead when you jotted down an important note. And the soft giggle you let out when Steve cracked a joke.
He suddenly wished he was funnier.
“Have a good rest of the day, Bucky,” you said when the meeting ended.
Bucky didn't have to try to smile with you. It just came naturally. When you smiled back, it was easy to imagine what it would be like if you were his girl.
“You, too,” he replied, giving himself a mental victory for not screwing up his words this time. “Wait!”
You paused and looked at him expectantly. “Yeah?”
Bucky realized he had no reason to keep you from leaving. He just didn't want you to go. “Do you need help moving your stuff in?”
“I actually got my things moved in late last night, but thanks for the offer,” you replied, checking the time with wide eyes. “I'm so sorry. I have to go. I’m in 2L if you need anything!”
“Bye,” he called after you, turning in his chair to watch you go.
How did he miss you already?
Though Steve had a knowing look in his eyes, he graciously kept his mouth shut as he left the room. He reminded him an hour later that he wouldn't break any bylaws by asking you out. The punk somehow knew that you weren't seeing anyone.
Which made him happy.
While he appreciated Steve looking out for happiness, he still had to get his head on straight.
“Once I completely trust my own mind, maybe I will,” Bucky said, even though the stuff was already out of his head. He owed it to himself to take his time. And you.
Imagine his surprise when he found a note from you on his door the next day.
Hey, Bucky! Lunch on me today? Check YES or NO.
The lopsided grin on his face wouldn't go away when he read it again. You must've been interested in him enough to ask about him. How else did you know his apartment number? Why else would you ask him to lunch?
He nearly shouted “YES” in the hall before he came to his senses and simply checked the option before he returned the note to your apartment door.
When he met up with you later, he told himself it wasn't a date. It couldn't be, right? It didn't keep his heart from stopping when you answered your door. Dressed down and casual, you looked like an angel went to Earth just for him.
“Hey, Bucky,” you smiled. “Ready to go?”
He hadn't said much on the way to the cafe since he was too busy hanging on to your every word, but it was like he had known you for ages as you carried on the conversation. Your questions weren't invasive and you didn't seem to mind the occasional short answers. It was also the shortest meal of his life, over too soon for his liking, and he also refused to let you pay for his meal.
He wanted to show you that gentlemen still existed.
“Lunch again next week?” you offered.
“Sure,” he answered, his head spinning from giddiness.
But it wasn't a date.
It was time to change that.
Today was the day. Six months from the day he met you. Six months of chatting with you between missions and slowly getting to know you over weekly lunches. Six months of falling for you more and more each day and he finally worked up the courage to ask you out.
But falling was the easy part. Confessing was an entirely different story. He would either crash to the ground and hope his wounds would later heal or you’d catch him as he fell. No matter what, he wouldn't let his nerves get the better of him.
“Just like we practiced, okay?” Bucky asked.
“Meow.”
Alpine nuzzled her head against Bucky’s with a gentle purr when he huffed. She was his little partner-in-crime through and through. Like you, even though you didn't realize it, the little white ball of fur helped save him. He was fairly certain he wasn't supposed to bring her to this floor, but any reprimand would be worth it.
Besides, the Tower, office, anywhere they operated should allow them to have their pets with them, especially for emotional support.
“I'm counting on you,” he teased, placing the folded up piece of paper in her mouth. “Go.”
He peeked around the corner when he set Alpine down. The sun illuminated you from where you sat in the lounge, curled up in your normal spot on the sofa. You liked to relax there occasionally to read. He wondered what book you had with you today.
Thankfully, no one was around to disturb you.
Except for him.
“Alpine, is that you?” you asked when you looked up, closing the book as the cat approached you. While the feline was cautious of some, she warmed up to you immediately when you met and solidified that you were the one for him. “Whatcha got there? Where’s Bucky?”
His name spilling from your lips was still one of his favorite sounds.
He held his breath when Alpine jumped up beside you, opened her mouth, and dropped the paper in your lap. He immediately began to second guess himself when you unfolded it with a furrowed brow. Why did he think this was a good idea? Why didn't he just ask you like a normal guy?
To be fair, he hadn't been normal for some time.
“Will you go out with me? Check YES or NO. Love, Bucky,” you read out loud with a huge smile, which was enough to make his heart race. You giggled a moment later when Alpine bumped your hand, the soft noise making his stomach do a funny sort of flip. “Okay, okay. Let me get my pen out of my bag.”
Bucky exhaled a little as he moved to stand in the doorway. You didn't toss the paper away, so that had to be a good sign. He carefully kept himself from showing any outward emotion when you met his gaze, but his knees nearly gave out. His palms also began to sweat when you gave him a half smile.
Just when he thought you couldn't look more beautiful than you had the day before, you proved him wrong.
He ran a hand through his hair and hoped he looked halfway decent since he hadn't brushed it. But you commented a few weeks back that you liked it long when you saw an old photo, so he wanted to grow it out. He lost count of how many times he imagined your fingers in his hair
Maybe one day.
Watching you grab your pen, it was like he was drowning. The tide pulled him under as you made a mark on the sheet. His lungs burned when you handed it back to Alpine. He couldn't come up for air. He couldn't breathe.
Until you smiled again.
“Thanks, Alpine,” you said.
His cat gracefully walked back to Bucky and he swore he caught you trying not to giggle as she climbed up his leg. His heart hammered in his chest when he took the slip of paper from her mouth. Meeting your tender gaze, he couldn't bring himself to open it though.
After he told himself he wouldn't let his nerves get the better of him.
“Not going to see what my answer is?” you asked as he carried Alpine into the lounge.
“I want to,” he replied, sighing as he took a seat beside you. His cat was perfectly content to lay in his lap. “But I’m questioning if I did this the right way.”
The note you gave him for a simple lunch request may have been a small gesture in your eyes, but it meant the world to him. He thought by asking you out this way that he could give you something meaningful in return. Something that only the two of you shared.
That was all he wanted.
You turned toward him, your knee touching his. The small touch sent heat down his spine. “Open it and you’ll find out.”
He nodded, thankful that his vibranium hand didn't shake as he lifted the sheet. “Wait, let me say something before I do.”
The corner of your lip tugged as you tried not to smile. “Bucky-”
“I like you. I really like you. I have since the day we met. And I'm going to like you tomorrow. And the day after that and the day after that,” he admitted in a rush, catching your sharp inhale as he looked into your eyes. “But I know my past isn't easy to deal with. If you just want to be a teammate or colleague, that’s okay. Just. Being a part of your life in some way is more than enough.”
Alpine lifted her head and looked between the two of you, as if she was waiting with baited breath to see what would happen next.
Bucky felt a crack in his heart when you didn't speak or react, his body slumping slightly into the couch. It was okay. He took a chance and told you how he felt. He wouldn't force you to reciprocate.
“Bucky?” you asked above a whisper, reaching over to help him unfold the paper. He gasped when he saw the checkmark beside “YES”, blinking rapidly to make sure you picked that box. “I really like you, too.”
“You do?” he exhaled, grasping your hand with renewed joy. He was careful not to squeeze too hard. Hurting you was the last thing he ever wanted to do.
“Yeah. Pretty much since the day I met you,” you admitted, glancing in your lap before you met his gaze again. He saw stars in your eyes. “And your past isn't your fault, Bucky. You aren't something to ‘deal with’, okay? You’re a good man. I can give you a whole list of reasons if you need it.”
Physically, Bucky’s body was in peak condition. Your confession, however, caused all of the air to leave his lungs and made him weak in the best possible way. A familiar warmth moved through Bucky’s veins as he breathed again and it dawned on him at that moment that he hadn't felt cold since you walked into his life.
Not once.
Your faith in him gave him strength. Your mere existence gave him the courage to try. And he didn't have to go it alone.
“Wow,” he breathed, relieved and elated as he gave you a small smile. “How about tomorrow night?”
“It’s a date,” you smiled.
“Great,” he smiled back. A date. He couldn't wait to see the look on Steve's face when he told him that he finally asked you out.
“And I think the note was purrfect,” you teased at Alpine before you scrunched up your face. “I ruined the moment, didn't I?”
Bucky brought your hand to his mouth, kissing it as gently as he possibly could. He could hear your heart race. So was his. “Not at all.”
He knew it was too soon to say he loved you and it was likely too soon for you to feel that way about him, but he felt hope in your smile that you would one day.
For now, he had a date to plan all because you checked “yes”.
We know it'll be the best date ever, right? Love and thanks for reading! 💙
Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi
#navybrat writes#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky barnes x female!reader#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes x fem!reader#bucky barnes x f!reader#bucky barnes#bucky x reader#bucky x female reader#bucky x you#bucky x y/n#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes fanfic#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes fic#bucky barnes fan fic#bucky barnes fan fiction#bucky fic#james buchanan barnes#james barnes#james bucky barnes#james buchanan barnes x reader#james bucky barnes x reader#james barnes x reader#sebastian stan x reader#sebastian stan x female reader#sebastian stan#bucky barnes fluff
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day five: santa community service | max verstappen social media au
pairing: max verstappen x fem single mum!reader
max swore in a press conference and now he's a mall santa with an itchy beard
MASTERLIST | TIP JAR
maxverstappen1



liked by landonorris, danielricciardo and 893,092 others
tagged: yourusername
maxverstappen1: don't swear kids.... on a serious note, i had so much fun meeting the amazing kids of amsterdam (and delivering some gifts)
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user2: ummmmmm who is that woman ????
user3: that's what you've taken away from FOUR TIME WORLD CHAMPION MAX VERSTAPPEN BEING A MALL SANTA IN PUNISHMENT FOR SAYING FUCK
user4: ummmm yeah she's snug as a bug in a rug in the back of max's car that's REAL FUCKING INTERESTING
landonorris: why no picture of you as santa... pussy
maxverstappen1: gotta leave some girls for you haven't i mate?
landonorris: well by the looks of the third slide you've already got a girl so it's free range for me right?
maxverstappen1: third slide?
maxverstappen1: OH FUCK
maxverstappen1: she's never going to speak to me again now
landonorris: well you've just sworn again so maybe you'll get more community service and meet her again
maxverstappen1: i'm not dumb i got her number but like now she's going to see this and think i'm a freak :(
landonorris: you'll have to whip out that max verstappen charm again i guess
maxverstappen1: life is a prison
user5: NO ONE POST THE PICTURES OF MAX WITH THE KIDS IT WILL DO IRREPARABLE DAMAGE TO MY OVARIES
user6: i need dad max more than air at this point
danielricciardo: what is this depression session in the comment section maximus - you're a catch even with the creepy instagram etiquette
maxverstappen1: i had to do so much work to convince i wasn't a dork while in a FULL SANTA COSTUME and now i'm not even at step one i'm at step minus 100000000
danielricciardo: that's not very christmas spirit of you maxie
maxverstappen1: life is unfortunately not a hallmark movie so like she'll be a normal person, see that i've posted a pic of her sleeping to my 13 million followers and run for the hills
danielricciardo: okay humble brag
maxverstappen1: DANIEL HELP
danielricciardo: i think you'll be just fine
maxverstappen1: well thanks for nothing - USELESS
user7: oh so max gets generational headloss in all settings
user8: he's so real for that tho
user9: if this doesn't sort itself out i pray for george russell
georgerussell63: ???
user10: he is going to take it out on you ❤️
georgerussell63: oh fuck
maxverstappen1: @fia get him
yourusername



liked by landonorris, user11 and 2,457 others
yourusername: went for the mall santa and met her hero, how will i ever top this now?
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user12: FOUND YOU
yourusername: this is very creepy who are you
user12: oh i'm just a humble f1 fan who watched max verstappen crash out over thinking he fumbled you
yourusername: fumbling me? has he seen himself?
user12: oh girl i've just stalked your entire account your face card is insane
yourusername: i do not know what that means
user13: YOU HAVE A KID ????
yourusername: yes?
user13: so we could feasibly get step dad max - DILF MAX?
yourusername: are you people okay?
user13: he's down bad for you queen you gotta get in there
yourusername: excuse me?
user14: WAIT - you don't have a husband right?
yourusername: no...
yourusername: wait why am i replying to you people?
landonorris: how did they find you first i put so much effort into my investigation
oscarpiastri: you annoyed max until he gave you her name?
landonorris: RIGOROUS
yourusername: you people have a lot of followers, what are you doing here?
landonorris: max is your daughter's hero and you don't know me?
yourusername: damn that's an ego
landonorris: excuse me ?
yourusername: idk maybe my daughter loves max because he's plastered everywhere in the netherlands - she watches the races with my friends
landonorris: we drive the orange cars
yourusername: oh she hates yall
yourusername: i might have to block you two
oscarpiastri: I DID NOTHING IT WAS ALL HIM
maxverstappen1: ummm hi!
maxverstappen1: I'M SO SORRY PLEASE DON'T THINK I'M A CREEP
yourusername: why would i think you're a creep?
maxverstappen1: NO REASON
maxverstappen1: so that coffee?
yourusername: okay .....
yourusername: i was going to text you but yk kids and she's addicted to the games and has held my phone hostage
landonorris



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landonorris: didn't leave monaco fast enough and now i'm stuck third wheeling - AND lola still hates me :(
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user16: CAN WE SLOW DOWN WE'RE GOING SO FUCKING FAST
yourusername: isn't that kinda their job?
user16: oh you gagged me there, congrats queen
user17: okay well now i'm obsessed with them and i need to know why lola hates lando so much
landonorris: she's a hater - just like her mother
maxverstappen1: y/n is allowed to hate you. in fact i'll support her in all of her hating i don't care
landonorris: i literally stayed for an extra day so we could all do something fun for christmas and HERE WE ARE
yourusername: i don't hate you lando, but i have to support my daughter in her dreams
landonorris: SHE SAID HER DREAMS WERE HER EXPLODING MY CAR WITH HER MIND
yourusername: LOL
landonorris: that is not 'LOL' that's attempted murder - i'm going to put your child in jail
maxverstappen1: woah lando that's too far
landonorris: and telepathic murder isn't ?
maxverstappen1: first of all it's telekinesis and second of all - lola can do what she wants
user18: oh boy he got attached quick
yourusername: this is nothing compared to lola
maxverstappen1: what? i love my biggest fan
danielricciardo: well fuck me i guess
maxverstappen1: yes
danielricciardo: max! y/n is right there (text me later)
maxverstappen1: oh wait ewwww
maxverstappen1: i meant get fucked.
yourusername: you can complain about third wheeling all you want but i'll deal with it if you keep taking these cute ass photos
landonorris: it's torture being an artist 💔
maxverstappen1: we also paid for everything lando, you can deal with watching your best friend being in love
landonorris: we're best friends ???
maxverstappen1: i'm your best friend - you're third at most
landonorris: ????
maxverstappen1: 1. lola 2. y/n 3. lando (maybe)
yourusername: awwwwww you're so sweet darling
yourusername



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yourusername: i support the fia's wrongs because they brought you to me
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user19: okay miss girl this is cute but i will NEVER let the fia live
yourusername: oh this is their one pass, next time i'll unleash lola's telekinesis
user19: tell lola that we thank her for her service
user20: but please don't blow up lando please
yourusername: she said orange cars - sorry osc
landonorris: what about a red car?
yourusername: oh she likes charles so no chance
charles_leclerc: taste 💅
maxverstappen1: i guess i'll let them off just this once because i love you
yourusername: you're so generous
georgerussell63: wanna forgive me as well
maxverstappen1: why would i do that?
maxverstappen1: also we're declaring our love for each other do you wanna GET THE FUCK OUT
georgerussell63: lola is talking about blowing up f1 cars with her mind i don't want to be a victim
yourusername: oh she won't blow your car up
georgerussell63: phew
yourusername: she'll bite you in person
georgerussell63: CRIKEY
georgerussell63: well i guess you guys can go back to declaring love now ...
yourusername: thanks i guess?
yourusername: love you maxy, i'm so glad we met you
maxverstappen1: i love you more, i love having both of you in my life
user21: this was very fast but this is also very cute
user22: i think we gotta get lola on sky sports - maybe she'll bite the british bias out of them
yourusername: do NOT threaten her with a good time
yourusername: however, i will say, lola doesn't actually bite she's very well behaved and just has a bit of a feral way about her
maxverstappen1: but it's so adorable :(
hulkhulkenberg: so ... paddock play dates
maxverstappen1: WE'RE THERE
yourusername: that would make the paddock a lot less intimidating for me
hulkhulkenberg: my daughter also prays on the downfall of everyone but me so they'll have that in common
maxverstappen1



liked by landonorris, danielricciardo and 1,245,038 others
tagged: yourusername
maxverstappen1: maybe santa is real ... love of my life was top of my list this year
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user25: idk about you guys but i've never seen him happier
user26: after this season i'm so glad the christmas break has treated him so well
user27: i can't wait for the rest of the grid to think he might let up now and then mad max get released first corner in melbourne
maxverstappen1: whatever i gotta do to get that winners trophy for lola
yourusername: this is the happiest holidays we've ever had, you've made my dreams come true and truly are the best person i'd ever want around lola. i love you <3
maxverstappen1: i wouldn't want to be with anyone else now, you guys are it for me x
maxverstappen1: now come downstairs i'm strategically placed underneath the mistletoe
yourusername: there's mistletoe?
maxverstappen1: .... the christmas fairy must of put it up ?
yourusername: you know you don't need an excuse to kiss me right?
maxverstappen1: hehehehehehehehehehe
user28: wow he's such a loser i love him
yourusername: he's * my loser and * he LOVES ME
yourusername: sorry that was rude
yourusername: but he's so worth showing off
maxverstappen1: i can't wait to show you off to the world on international tv - i gotta mark my territory
yourusername: as if i would ever look anywhere but at you
landonorris: fine! you guys are cute! i'm taking all the credit for connecting you two
maxverstappen1: and just how did you do that?
landonorris: i found y/n's instagram duh!
yourusername: actually @user12 found my instagram
user12: omg shout out
maxverstappen1: i also had y/n's number the whole time...
landonorris: CAN YOU GUYS JUST LET ME HAVE THIS? IT'S CHRISTMAS?
yourusername: you got us socks for christmas ??? (thanks tbf)
landonorris: ALL MY BUDGET WENT TO LOLA'S PRESENT I HAD TO GET ON HER SIDE
maxverstappen1: you mean the mini MCL36 that she's been glaring at since she opened it?
yourusername: i think she's practicing her telekinesis for 2025 ❤️
landonorris: FUCK
yourusername: she just wants maxy to win lando, you can't deny her that
landonorris: i can feel her puppy dog eyes through the phone
maxverstappen1: i'll do anything to win for her - ANYTHING. merry christmas xx
landonorris: that's so threatening
yourusername: that's so romantic
fin.
note: ENJOY
#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#f1 instagram au#f1 x you#f1#f1 social media au#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen fluff#max verstappen x you#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen fanfic#max verstappen
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as soft as the rain, pretty as a vine
pairing: aaron hotchner/fem!bau!reader w.c.: 6k a/n: inspired by that one gifset of hotch desperately needing some moisturizer on his neck im so sorry. also my first time writing hotch's pov, pls be gentle. c.w.: fluff! friends to lovers, kinda sunshine/girly!reader, mutual pining, alcohol mention, author pretending like they know about skincare, hotch is whipped and touch starved af, no y/n
summary:
You think Hotch needs to take better care of himself. Hotch doesn't know what to think. Or, 5 times you teach Hotch about skincare more than he wants to and 1 time he teaches you.
read below or ao3 here
one.
When Hotch first walks into the conference room ready to go over a new case, there’s something different that he can’t quite put his finger on.
Words dying in his throat, he sweeps his eyes over the entire room and doesn’t see anything significantly out of place. Then he’s passing over everyone’s faces, mentally keeping a note on how exhausted most of them are looking, and then landing on you.
Having only joined a couple of months ago, you were still fairly new to the team. However, with your sunny disposition and eagerness to learn, you blended right in. Hotch had watched in amusement as you were able to keep up with Reid’s ramblings, Morgan’s flirting, and Garcia’s antics. You were insightful, able to give new perspectives that Hotch would never have even considered, patient with victims and their families, and Hotch admired you for that.
Today, however, you look considerably suspicious as you give him a sheepish smile and a little wave. “Morning, Hotch,” you say, eyes sparkling, followed by a round of greetings from the rest of the team.
“Morning.” And then he spots a machine on the table near the wall, shaped and designed like a cat and spouting off what looks like steam at a steady and continuous rate.
Now that he’s noticed it, he realizes the conference room feels significantly stickier, the sudden humidity a stark contrast to the dry winter air outside. He can sense the slight congestion he’s been waking up to the past several months gradually disappearing.
“It’s a humidifier,” you explain after spotting the slightly confused expression Hotch was wearing, as if he’s never seen one before. To be fair, he doesn’t think he’s seen one in years as Haley was usually the one who dug it out of storage when Jack wasn’t feeling well. “I brought it from home, I thought it was a little dry in here. Is that okay?”
“I hope so, I was worried about getting a nosebleed the other day.”
“It’s good to have it around during this time of year, Hotch. Did you hear Anderson coughing this morning?”
“It’s also beneficial to have one on while you sleep, both with the white noise and being able to clear your sinuses and breathe easier with its optimal humidity levels.”
Truthfully, Hotch doesn’t care and he’s sure there isn’t some ridiculous regulation about not allowing a small humidifier, especially when Garcia has two space heaters in her office that you’ve had to ask to borrow at least twice a week.
However, the way you’re glancing up at him now from your spot at the round table, eyes wide and fluffy pink scarf wrapped around you because you apparently run colder than the rest of the team, Hotch would probably let you get away with anything.
He immediately sets that thought aside, not wanting to dwell on exactly what that means right now. He takes the only empty seat left that just happened to be right next to you, making sure to keep a respectable distance. “It’s fine. Just make sure to turn it off and empty it before we go.”
You give him a blinding smile that momentarily distracts him from the bubbling humidifier and the clouds of mist that are nearly falling into his face. “Sure thing. Did you know that it can also help with dry skin? So technically, we’re just taking care of our bodies if they ask why we need it.”
Although it makes sense now that he thinks about it, Hotch didn’t know that. He also doesn’t remember the last time he put on lotion or moisturizer, no matter how dry his hands felt.
Just then, Garcia wobbles in with her yellow heels and coffee mug, immediately launching into the brutal details of the case and where the team will be headed out to for the next couple of days.
When Hotch gets up to grab his go-bag from the office, he tries to ignore how it feels like he can breathe a little bit easier.
two.
“God, it’s freezing in here.”
Hotch glances up from his laptop mid-report to witness you taking the seat next to his with a resounding oof. You’re wrapped up in a blanket that you had brought from home that has somehow taken permanent residence on the jet, shivering despite the heater being on full blast. The corner of it lands on his knee, soft and warm.
The team had just finished a case in rural Montana, surrounded by mountains of snow and the wilderness. You had remembered to pack warmly at least, as Hotch had witnessed you struggling to take off the several layers of sweaters every time you arrived at the precinct. He remembers frowning in the car on the way to apprehend the unsub as you shivered in the passenger seat, having had to wear only a layer or two due to the bulky Kevlar vest and needing to be quick on your feet.
“It’ll warm up here in a second,” Hotch says, already wracking around his brain to see if there was another blanket hidden in a compartment somewhere. “A cup of tea will probably help.”
You slouch down further in your seat, cocooning yourself even further under the thick blanket. “I don’t want to get up.”
Hotch is almost tempted to lock his computer and get up to make you that cup of tea himself, however he glances around the cabin and notices several knowing pairs of eyes on him. He doesn’t have to be a profiler to know what the rest of the team thinks—that he’s gone soft on you.
You with your fuzzy blue blanket wrapped around your shoulders like a cape and the thick socks that you put in your bag specifically for the plane ride home. He knows he’s not imagining the lingering glances you throw at Hotch or the way you occasionally stay late as an excuse to bother him in his office.
And he doesn’t necessarily mind. There’s a strange, innate pull that tugs in his stomach when it comes to you, causing him to watch you more carefully and seeking out your presence at almost every opportunity. The sheer grip of panic on his heart when you were shot after taking down an unsub by yourself and without backup several months ago had Hotch re-evaluating everything he knew about himself.
He’s aware of the possible repercussions, which is exactly why Hotch has learned to be patient when it comes to you, who has threatened him to forgo his patience altogether with every bubbly laugh he can hear from his office or knock of your shoulders against his in the conference room.
So he doesn’t get up to make you that cup of tea despite knowing how you take it with a splash of milk and two sugars, and instead turns back to finish the action report.
It’s only several minutes later when he notices you rummaging around in your bag out of the corner of his eye before you pull out a small and colorful lotion bottle with a triumphant noise. You pop the cap open and slather some on your hands before you’re turning to face Hotch again, the novel that Reid recommended to you untouched on the table. “Do you want some?”
The bottle in your hand looks somewhat familiar, most likely something he’s passed by at the store or on your desk, but Hotch balks at the pink flowers painted all over the bottle. He’s lucky the undoubtedly suffocating smell hasn’t hit him yet. “I’m fine, thanks.”
But you don’t put the lotion back in your bag, instead shifting in your seat until you’re fully facing him. Your blanket is nearly draped over Hotch’s thigh. “Are you sure? You know, it’s really important to make sure your hands are moisturized, especially with how cold it is here.”
He doesn’t know why you’re so adamant about this, peering up at him with bright and eager eyes and the open lotion bottle poised over his hands. He’s never liked putting on lotion, or any kind of creams, as it always made his hands feel uncomfortably greasy. He would eventually wash it off anyway.
He turns his attention back to his laptop, yet wordlessly puts a hand out towards your direction.
He thinks you’re going to pour a generous dollop and let him rub his own hands together, but instead, he nearly jumps in his seat when you’re grabbing onto his hand with both of yours and slathering whatever’s leftover on your hands into his palms and the back of his hands.
Your hands are cold, even moreso than his, but the sharp tingle that runs up his arm at your touch causes something warm to bloom in his chest.
“I didn’t want to waste it,” you respond to the confusion on his face. You’re thorough; making sure to slather the cream in between his fingers and even down to his wrists. He senses the sneaking glances the rest of the team are throwing his way, maybe even smug, but he’s painstakingly distracted by the way your hands look in his, the way he can feel both of your hands gradually warming up.
And then you’re pulling away, and Hotch suddenly misses your tender touch.
Like he expected, his palms suddenly feel gross, unpleasantly slippery like he has oil all over them. He wants to rub his palms on his pants or go wash his hands, but your watchful eyes stop him.
And then it hits him— the sudden scent of you, floral with some hints of vanilla, overwhelming his senses. It’s undeniably the same scent as your perfume, the one that seems to linger every time you stride past him at the office or when you’re leaning over Hotch to laugh at something Morgan said. Now, it causes him to sharply inhale, chest feeling unnervingly tight as he unconsciously marks it to his memory.
You’re still watching him with an expectant smile, bottle stored away in your bag for you to pull out again after you’ve gotten up to use the restroom and used the cheap hand soap that you’ve repeatedly complained about before. You look unfazed, as if your simple touch hasn’t sent Hotch’s brain reeling.
“It’s nice,” Hotch manages to say, voice only slightly strained. The smell is not as strong as he expected, but it’s still doing strange things to his heart more than he’d like to admit.
If possible, your smile widens. “Just nice?”
“Well, I don’t think it’s quite my signature scent.”
You hum and turn away, picking up your book despite Hotch knowing you’re not going to read a single page of it today, the spine already creased from where you’ve been laying it face down multiple times over the past month. “No, your signature scent already fits you.”
Hotch says nothing, not entirely sure how to respond to that, but your attention is already caught by the game of cards Reid and Emily are playing several seats away. You immediately set your novel down and scramble up and out of your seat to be their enthusiastic audience, leaving a trail of vanilla behind you.
Hotch immediately misses the warmth of your blanket.
three.
“What are you looking for now?”
You’ve been digging through your bag, your pink personal one that’s almost as big as your go bag, for the past five minutes. Hotch can hear the various items clinking around and the crinkling of multiple old receipt papers as you curse under your breath. He frowns, tempted to encourage you to clean out your bag if only to make packing more convenient for you. He couldn’t count the number of times you’ve exclaimed on the jet that you had forgotten something.
The team had gotten called to another small rural town in North Dakota for an unsub that’s been killing during the protective guise of blizzards, which is why Hotch was driving so painstakingly slow that Morgan would’ve surely had an aneurysm if he was in the same car. Despite the roads having already been salted, there was still a concerning amount of ice on the roads that had Hotch sitting ramrod straight in his seat and gripping the steering wheel so hard his knuckles were nearly turning white.
Luckily, it was only you and Hotch in the car, heater on full blast. You’re wearing at least three sweaters today with your coat draped over your legs and haven’t even complained once about it being too cold, citing how you’ve never seen this much snow before in your life. Hotch found it all extremely endearing watching you nearly jump in your seat at how the evergreen trees looked covered in snow. Like a Christmas movie, you had said.
“Found it!” You pull out a travel sized bottle of sunscreen, hurriedly twisting the cap open to squeeze and draw lines down three fingers.
Hotch glances at you out of the corner of his eye, brow furrowed in confusion at your strange method. “Sunscreen? Are we going to the beach?”
“God, I hope not. I didn’t think to pack a swimsuit.” You roll your eyes while slathering the cream on your forehead, cheeks, down your neck, and even strangely over your ears before rubbing the rest on the back of your hands.
Hands tightening on the steering wheel, Hotch clears his throat. “I didn’t expect you to be so invested in your skin health.”
“It’s called skincare, Hotch,” you tease, screwing the cap back on but suspiciously leaving it out on your lap. “And it’s important to take care of your skin. Did you know that snow reflects UV rays, so even during winter you should put on sunscreen?”
Hotch chuckles before he could stop himself. “You’re starting to sound like Reid.”
“Did you want some?” You’re twisting your body again to face Hotch, eyes sparkling despite it being horribly dreary and cloudy outside.
The only times Hotch has worn sunscreen was during especially hot summer days when he took Jack to the park or to go swimming. He’s seen you apply sunscreen in the office even when it was raining outside and the sun wasn’t forecasted to come out that day. He’s grown to learn not to ask questions.
“I’m okay, thanks.” The answer’s immediate, partly because he doesn’t need sunscreen and partly because he is concentrating on not crashing into a ditch.
“Come on, Hotch, it’s good for you!” He knows this is exactly the same thing you said on the jet several weeks ago, and since then, every time you’re putting on lotion and he’s somewhere in the near vicinity, you’re already squeezing some on his hands before he could respectfully decline. Luckily, you haven’t tried to apply it for him again.
You’re incredibly stubborn and Hotch wonders if you’re persuading the rest of the team to invest in expensive and fruity-smelling creams in an effort to have everyone properly take care of their bodies like you are with him.
“Alright.” And then he’s pulling his foot off the gas pedal just a bit to compensate for the distraction of having to put his hand out, desperately hoping you’re not going to lean over to apply it to his own face.
You luckily don’t squeal in excitement like he expected, just silently squirting the cream into careful and meticulous lines on his three fingers. Hotch can tell it’s definitely more of an expensive brand than what he was used to during the summer—lightweight and smelling like nothing.
Hotch carefully slathers it onto his face, starting at his forehead, down his nose, and then out to his cheeks and his chin. There’s still quite a lot left on his fingers and he remembers how you made sure to spread some on your neck, so Hotch does the same thing. However, he is definitely not going to put some on his ears.
Satisfied, you put the sunscreen away and twist as best as you could underneath your thick layers to put your bag in the backseat, because the floor of the car was too wet from the snow from your shoes.
“Happy?” Hotch’s face inexplicably feels greasier than he would like, but it’s not as bad as the vanilla-scented lotion or the cheap sunscreen laying forgotten in his closet. It’s already absorbed into his skin and when he rubs a hand along his jaw, he realizes that it must have had some moisturizer in it as well because his face feels softer than he was used to.
“Ecstatic,” you say, turning your face towards the window to hide the wide grin spreading across your face.
four.
The fourth time Hotch learns about skincare from you was completely and utterly by accident.
It had been a long and brutal couple of days chasing a serial in Tennessee, one that had nearly as much technological experience as Garcia. He had been two steps ahead of them until tonight, when they had finally caught a break and caught him before he could take any more women to hold hostage.
The all-consuming relief was palpable during dinner at the hotel restaurant despite the underlying knowledge that the same thing was going to happen next week. Conversation flowed, drinks were had, and Hotch was adamantly ignoring the fleeting looks you were throwing his way across the table.
Hotch and you had been dancing around each other for months, tension so tangible that the rest of the team were starting to feel uncomfortable. He’s been able to brush off Dave’s sly remarks in the privacy of his office, Morgan and Emily’s raised eyebrows tossed in his direction at every interaction he had with you, and Garcia’s elbow jabs at every possible second when you were in the room.
It's been frustrating for him, to say the least. He can’t tell them that he can’t make that choice for you, that he’s too conscious to not cross any of those professional boundaries himself. If that means that Hotch has to wait for several more months for you to make the first move, if that even happens, then so be it.
When Hotch watches the way you throw your head back in laughter at something Dave says at dinner, eyes bright and face slightly flushed from the wine, he thinks he’d be willing to wait as long as you wanted.
After being nearly kicked out of the restaurant from being too rowdy and Hotch hinting at being able to take the rest of tomorrow off once they fly back in town early, the team quietly shuffles back to their respective rooms. He knows there’s about a 50/50 chance that most of them will sneak out to a nearby bar in ten minutes, but at least he warned them ahead of time.
“Night, Hotch,” you had said, giving him a little smile and wave before your door across the hallway clicked shut.
Something warm settled in Hotch’s chest at that, so he did the most reasonable thing to cope with the unfamiliar and turned the TV on to a random news channel. With the volume on low and his laptop and files laid out on the rickety table, he got to work.
Several hours pass like that as he throws himself into the fine print, going over everyone’s action reports from last week and shuffling through old crime photos to make sure everything matched. It was a familiar process, and almost concerning with how much comfort he’s found in it—the scratch of his pen, the drone of the city several floors down, and the growing smudge of ink on his hand from his thoughts running faster than he could write.
When he gets to your report and notices it’s missing several key points of the case, as well as your loopy signature, he frowns.
The immediate thought that comes to mind would be to just put the file aside and move onto the other one. It wasn’t as if the report was due this second and he knows there were plenty of others that required more immediate attention.
The other thought that emerges, almost reluctantly, was that Hotch could easily go across the hallway and ask you to take a look at it and finish the report rather than waiting for the following morning on the jet when the rest of the team was undoubtedly going to be hungover. Prentiss was most certainly going to be cranky and demand everyone to be quiet because the hum of the jet was already grating enough. He’d just be doing the team a favor.
That’s what Hotch tells himself as he stands up from the low desk, neck and back aching, and makes his way out his room and to yours across the hall.
He briefly pauses, straining his ears as if he could hear anything through the door and over the erratic thumping of his own heart. Hotch is suddenly aware that you may be sleeping, or even out with the rest of the ladies to a sleazy bar, and he’s about to turn back around with defeat weighing heavy on his shoulders when he hears the click of the bathroom door open and your humming, faint even through the thick wooden door.
Feeling confident that he’s not disturbing you and something else Hotch can’t name at the fact that he’s going to be seeing you in the privacy of your hotel room, he raps twice against the door.
“Just a second!” And then the door swings open.
Hotch’s attention is immediately caught by the fluffy headband you’re wearing, light pink and with a comically large bow in the center. You’ve clearly just gotten out of the shower, the scent of your body wash infiltrating Hotch’s senses and causing him to tighten his grip on the files he forgot he was holding in the first place.
You’re wearing a matching set of light blue pajamas, short and clinging to your body in a way that has Hotch immediately tearing his gaze away and back to your bare face. Your lips are glossy, slicker than normal, there’s a drop of water slowly trailing down the side of your neck, and a dab of cream on your cheek that you seem to have not noticed.
“Hotch?” you ask, confused, before letting out a squeak and crossing your arms over your chest in an effort to hide your modesty. Hotch ignores the fact that it just makes everything worse. “Is everything okay? Don’t tell me there’s a case.”
The droplet of water has disappeared underneath the collar of your shirt and the scent of vanilla nearly suffocates him. “No case. Just needed to get your final touches and signature on this report.”
He hopes his voice doesn’t sound as strained to you as it does to him as he remembers why he was standing in your hotel doorway in the first place, the files in his hand suddenly weighing like a ton.
You don’t seem to notice anything wrong, if anything, a slow smile spreads across your face that has Hotch’s stomach flipping.
You look radiant, the intimacy of being near you in your pajamas when you were clearly in the middle of your nighttime routine not going unnoticed. He peers over the top of your head to notice your go bag on your bed, clothes and your personal laptop strewn all over the comforter, and the TV being tuned to what you’d call an “entertaining yet trashy show.”
“You’re still working even though you’re the one who suggested having an early night? It’s late.”
Hotch blinks at you because what else would he have done if not attempt to catch up on the seemingly never-ending pile of papers and reports? “You’re still up late too.”
You roll your eyes. “I was just about to go to bed before you knocked, so technically I have better work-life boundaries than you.”
“Do you want me to come back tomorrow?”
You study him—still wearing his suit sans the jacket, tie only slightly loosened and sleeves rolled up his forearms. He hadn’t even bothered to put his shoes back on, comfortable enough with the hotel’s reputation to be in his room and take the two steps across the carpeted hallway in his socks.
“As long as you make it fast.” And then you’re stepping aside and opening the door further, the sweetness of the vanilla nearly pulling Hotch in.
Except he’s somehow distracted by the dollop of cream still on your cheek, right underneath your eye. Witnessing first-hand the twinkling of your eyes as you glance up at him and the way your pink headband has your hair pushed back, baring the most of your face he’s ever seen, has him sidetracked.
“You have a little…” He motions to his own face, hoping that you will take the hint.
And you don’t, not exactly, because of course you don’t. You immediately swipe at your face but on the wrong cheek and stare down at your hand when you don’t catch anything. “What?”
Hotch is a problem-solver, meticulous, and always thinks things through. That’s his job, to always be two steps ahead of anyone and everyone. So he’s not sure how or why he’s suddenly reaching a hand out to swipe at the cream on your face with his thumb, his touch lingering on the warmth of your cheek.
Whatever Hotch was going to say dies in his throat at the very audible hitch of your breath, the way your eyes widen at his close proximity. Your skin is smooth, softer than anything he’s ever felt, and he ignores the way you’re staring into him as he pulls back and absentmindedly rubs the moisturizer in the palm of his other hand. If he tries hard enough, the cream on his own skin nearly replicates the feeling of yours.
He's about to clear his throat to apologize, maybe even mention something about how the report can technically wait until tomorrow and turn right on his heel back into his room to ignore the adamant weight pressing down on his chest, when your expression changes.
Something almost akin to smugness tugs at the corners of your lips, the shininess inexplicably different and more distracting than your usual lipstick. Your bright eyes dance with amusement before your arms fall from where they were crossed on your chest to your sides.
“You know, I’m wearing a lip mask right now if you want some of that too.”
“Excuse me?”
If possible, your grin widens, causing Hotch to internally deny that he was suddenly feeling breathless. “I use a lip mask every night. They just make them look so kissable, right?”
Something in Hotch snaps, because if that wasn’t a clear invitation, he doesn’t know what is.
When he finally steps into your room, closing the door behind him, you’re slowly backing up until you’re pressed up against the nearest wall with that infuriating grin on your face.
You’re playing with him, you’ve been playing with him, but he doesn’t care and can’t even think about that when you’re peering up at him with soft eyes.
When Hotch brings a hand up to cradle your cheek, he thinks his stomach nearly twists itself into a knot at the immediate way you lean into him and the way your eyes flutter shut.
When he finally kisses you, he can smell the sweetness of the raspberry lip mask before he tastes it, seamlessly blending in with your vanilla body wash and making him feel more drunk than he’s felt in a long time.
You place your hands on his chest, your warmth seeping through the fabric of his shirt, and something about touching him has you unconsciously parting your lips to deepen the kiss, causing the smell of raspberry to become stronger.
Hotch can immediately feel the stickiness of your mask on his mouth, and he’s tempted to pull away at the unfamiliarity of something on his lips, but then you’re sighing into him and his hands are suddenly on your waist where the bottom of your pajama top has barely lifted. The warmth of your skin was intoxicating.
You have to be the first one to break the kiss, and when Hotch opens his eyes, you’re staring at him, your smirk having morphed into a smile of disbelief. His eyes flit to the almost imperceptible smear of gloss at the corner of your mouth.
“You have a little…” You trail off, your eyes drifting to his own lips, your smile doing nothing to calm the erratic rhythm Hotch’s heart has taken.
Hotch wonders how much you had put on yourself because the amount that he can feel on his lips makes him immediately want to swipe at his mouth. But that would mean having to take his hands off of you and he doesn’t think he has the willpower for that.
Instead, he rubs his lips together in an effort to spread the tackiness equally over his lips before he says “I like it, but I don’t think I got enough.”
You huff a laugh at that, your fingers tightening from where they’re gripping the lapels of his dress shirt. “I think I can help you with that.”
five.
“Are you okay in there?”
“Just five more minutes, I promise!”
That’s what you had said ten minutes ago. It’s not like Hotch is impatient per se, just content that you had agreed to sleep over again after another late date night and there wasn’t a looming case coming up.
You had only slept over one other time when the team had gotten back from a case late and Hotch wasn’t going to let you drive yourself home when you could barely keep yourself standing. You had dozed off the entire car ride home, head leaning against the window which caused Hotch to adamantly avoid all the potholes and tight turns, and yet you still managed to do your skincare routine in his ensuite bathroom before coming to bed.
After that night in your hotel room, you’ve become bolder. You’re now sitting next to Hotch on the jet, you make your way up to his office when there were still plenty of people milling about in the bullpen, and the way you peer up at him through your eyelashes during case briefings has him itching for a cold shower.
Neither have you said anything to the rest of the team, but at this point, Hotch doesn’t think he has to with the way both Dave and Morgan have patted him on the back the day after you laughed at something Emily had said and leaned against him, leaving his shoulder thrumming from your warmth for the next hour.
Another five minutes pass and Hotch can still hear the clinking of your serums as you rummage through your cosmetics bag. He silently sets aside his phone to get up from his extremely comfortable spot in the bed to pad his way over to the bathroom.
The sight that greets him has Hotch’s stomach plummeting all over again.
You’re sporting that same headband with the pink bow again, however this time, you’re wearing one of his old academy shirts that had mysteriously gone missing from his dresser several weeks ago. You’re freshly showered and you’re holding onto some kind of strangely shaped metallic instrument that you’re scraping over your cheekbones and then down your neck. The way it drags over your skin has Hotch cringing sympathetically.
You immediately spot him, meeting his gaze through the mirror, and the way your eyes immediately light up has a small smile forming on Hotch’s face before he can help it. “Hey you.”
“Hey.” Hotch leans against the doorway, content to watch the clearly practiced movements of you rubbing your skin with this strange contraption. “It’s been over five minutes.”
You pout. “Sorry, I’ve been holding this off all week and I need to do it tonight.”
Hotch was sure that “need” was a strong word, but he doesn’t question it. He stopped questioning your thorough skincare routine months ago.
And then you turn to him, something mischievous tugging at your glossy lips. “Wanna try it?”
Apprehension thuds in his chest, but he takes a step forward into the glow of the bathroom anyway. “And what is it exactly?”
Detecting your hesitation a mile away, you give him a warm smile as you hold it up to him. “It’s called a gua sha. It’s supposed to help with blood flow and getting rid of toxins and all that.”
Hotch may not be a beauty or skincare expert, but he has doubts that this piece of metal can actually do all of those things. To be fair, he’s had quite a few doubts about most of the items you use and not so subtly make him try.
The delight painted clear on your face though has Hotch tucking those thoughts away. He’s sure he has no right to question one’s own method on how to relax.
“Okay.”
You immediately muffle a squeal and turn to grab some other serum you left out on the sink, a light gold swimming around in the bottle.
“I’ll only do half of your face, I promise.” You squeeze some of the mysterious liquid on your hands and reach up to pat the left side of his face.
It’s thicker than your usual products, most likely some kind of oil that smells like roses, but the heat from your hand and your close proximity has Hotch feeling inexplicably warm all over.
“Okay, now you just use this side to run up your cheekbone like this.” You demonstrate for him and he adamantly makes note of the light pressure you’re using. “And then you run it down your face and down your neck.”
When he attempts to copy your movements with the warm metal, he doesn’t notice any difference in how his skin feels or the blood flow in his face, but you’re studying him so closely that Hotch is tempted to say he does.
It’s a strange sensation, but honestly it doesn’t feel any different than if he used his own fingers to rub up against his cheekbone or jawline.
When he puts the piece of metal back in your open palm, you’re nearly teeming with excitement. “So, what do you think?”
He pauses. “I don’t think it’s for me, sweetheart.”
You pout but he can tell that you’re not offended. “Boo. Fine, I’ll meet you in bed, handsome.”
Hotch is about to turn back to go to bed before he remembers the thick oil covering half of his face, evenly dispersed but still uncomfortable and will surely stain his pillowcase. He attempts to discreetly wipe at it with his hand as best as he can before quickly rubbing it off on your arm and escaping.
The screech you let out echoes in his bathroom as you try to swat at him and narrowly miss, and the way he feels heat tinge at the tip of his ears is better than any metallic contraption’s claim to improve blood flow.
+1
On his days off, Hotch much prefers spending as much time as he can at home, either with Jack, you, or, more recently, both. Even if Hotch technically sees you every day in the bullpen, you at work is much different than the you at home.
Or at least, he likes to think there’s a difference as you drag him to the grocery store during what was possibly the quietest afternoon he’s had in several months.
I just have to pick up a couple of things, you had said as you buckle your seatbelt in the passenger side. We’ll be back home in a jiffy.
Never mind the fact that the word home coming from your lips has Hotch’s mind reeling. You’ve been seeing each other for several months now and he’s almost sure that you haven’t stepped foot in your own apartment for at least a month. You’ve taken up half of his dresser, most of his closet space, and the entirety of the counter space in the bathroom with your multi-colored serums and skincare tools that don’t work no matter what you claim.
He follows you around the store, dutifully pushing the grocery cart, as you mentally go through your checklist on all the toiletries you’re almost out of. Which is why he finds himself in the cosmetics aisle when you exclaim “Oh, I forgot about tomatoes for taco Tuesday!” and scamper off before he could say there were plenty of tomatoes from last time in the fridge because Jack has suddenly decided he doesn’t like them anymore.
He's content to wait, maybe check his emails on his phone, when he spots the familiar label of his face wash out of the corner of his eye.
It’s a brand that Haley had recommended for him when they were in college and Hotch knew absolutely nothing about skincare then, so he just continued buying it. He’s gone through countless bottles over the years, having used it nearly every day, yet Hotch finds himself frowning as he stares at the bright orange bottle.
The large bold letters advertise the cleanser being able to effectively combat oiliness, but Hotch distinctly remembers you offhandedly mentioning how lucky he was to have dry skin and not a combination like you.
Honestly, he had no idea, but it would make sense with how you were constantly slathering him in lotions and creams any chance you got.
He browses through the available cleansers, keeping an eye out for those that treat dry skin, when you sidle up next to him with a bag of tomatoes that were undoubtedly not going to get eaten. He can hear the hesitation in your voice when you ask “What are you doing?”
“Looking for something different.”
“Oh yeah? I knew I was wearing you down, Hotchner. Soon, you’re going to be begging me to take you to Sephora.” You’re joking but Hotch can detect the underlying seriousness in your voice.
He continues as if he didn’t hear you. “I’ve been using the wrong face wash for my skin so I’m looking for a different one. I probably haven’t been doing my skin any favors all these years.”
A pause. And then, incredulously, you say “Who taught you that?”
Finding one that was a good size and affordable enough to try, Hotch grabs it and throws it into the cart. When he meets your eyes, you’re staring up at him with a disbelieving smile.
“You did.” And it’s true—Hotch would’ve never thought about the long-term benefits of having a humidifier in the bedroom or the importance of sunscreen everyday if it weren’t for you. Taking care of your appearance was clearly important to you, which meant it was now important to him.
You stare at him, lips parted as if you’re at a loss for words. Your skin is glowing even under the harsh fluorescent grocery store lighting. “You’re such a sweet talker, you know that?”
You toss the tomatoes in the cart, making him wince, and loop your arm through his to tug him along the aisle. You smell sugary sweet with maybe a hint of his cologne from where you had slept in one of his old shirts last night. Hotch remembers how he had felt lightheaded, fondness flooding his chest, when he woke to you laying on his chest this morning. He tugs you closer into his side.
“Does this mean that you’ll try that new light therapy mask that I bought?”
“One step at a time, honey.”
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You’re…intimidating.
Based on the following ask: For Hotch x reader, could I please request charming witty reader who Hotch has an obvioussss crush on and he's trying to flirt but he's out of practice and she's pretty extroverted, confident so she just doesn't register he's interested and he's getting grief from the team for being all puppy dog eyes at her? Pref non-BAU reader but maybe she works in a different FBI dept or she's a lawyer/consultant they work with often and Hotch is always the first to suggest working with her so he's not being subtle in wanting to spend time with her lol. Feel free to adapt!! Thanks!! ❤️Okay pookie!!! I’ve been thinking about this one and it might end up pretty self-indulgent and for that I am sorry – girlie works for cybercrimes (but transfers to the BAU – sorry it felt right) and she’s the best of the best like Penelope worships her…she’s a little alternative so Hotch admires her from afar because she’s not his usual type just PURE FLUFF
Aaron Hotchner x FBI! Fem Reader
Fluff
Word count: 2674
Not edited - please be kind. Requests are open and feedback is welcome if it's constructive!
Warnings: My blog is 18+, minors DNI, age gap (reader is late 20’s, Aaron is 45), some explicit language, not an OC but reader is described to have some tattoos and piercings (nothing specific though), reader works for cybercrimes and is SUPER tech savvy, idiots in love, Hotch pining hard, tooth rotting fluff, canon typical violence, mentions of hacking and breaking laws, reader is an extroverted introvert, Reader is called “Agent Z” or “Z” because she is a gen z, let me know if I missed any
I do not consent to having my work translated or reposted to any other site. That being said I do not own the characters portrayed in this story.

“Hotchner, this is the third time this month you’ve requested her. I’m beginning to think we should be offering her a spot in the BAU.” Director Cruz teased.
“If she’d be willing, I wouldn’t be opposed to the idea.” Hotch shrugged.
“I’ll put in the consultation request and maybe I’ll bring up the idea of a transfer to her.”
Hotch stood and returned to the sixth floor, promptly running into Penelope, as she was making her way back to the Batcave.
“So, I heard I might be getting some assistance on our next case! You know if you keep inviting Agent Z to join us, I’m going to get used to having her around.”
“Would that be so bad?” Hotch asked.
“No, it definitely wouldn’t…unless she stops coming around.” Penelope retorted.
The look on Hotch’s face gave him away, there was a brief flash of disappointment at the suggestion of you not coming around anymore. He couldn’t bear the thought…which made him even more nervous than you did. Speaking of…
“Hey Hotch!” You called effectively startling him.
“Hello! I uh – I wasn’t expecting you so soon.”
“Ah well, Cruz emailed the request over and I got the notification, so I figured there was no time to waste.” You shrugged.
“Well, we might as well debrief the team then.” Aaron offered, gesturing toward the conference room.
--
Here’s the deal, Aaron had feelings for you, you had captivated him the first time he saw you. It was a Tuesday in July, the weather had been unforgiving…hot and humid, not ideal for the business attire of FBI agents.
As he made his way into the building, he’d taken note of how nearly everyone had their suit jackets or blazers slung over their arms, their sleeves rolled up as they hurried into the air-conditioned building.
But then there was you. You were wearing these chunky black loafers and black trousers, your top had been a simple black tank, it was hugging your skin in a way that made Aaron’s mouth go dry. You had a checkered cardigan tossed over your forearm that you had clearly removed. It allowed Aaron a view of the tattoos that adorned your arms.
He couldn’t explain the pull he felt…you had been so different from any woman he’d ever had any interest in before, but maybe that’s why things never worked out with them. Maybe the others were too stiff, too proper. Maybe he needed a little chaos in his life.
--
During the debriefing, Aaron had made sure you were sat next to him. He let Penelope present the case as usual and allowed time for theories. While Derek and Emily were talking back and forth about the possible age and gender of the unsub, Aaron’s eyes were trained on you. He could see your mind running a mile a minute.
“What is it?” Aaron asked, tapping your arm gently.
“Oh, no. I was just thinking. There’s something about the photo’s that were left at the crime scene…it feels familiar.” You shrugged.
“Have you seen another case like this?”
“I think so…” You pulled open your laptop and began searching through old case files and evidence you’d logged over the years. “Here! Hotch, look at this!”
Aaron leaned over, leaving hardly any space between the two of you. His gaze shifted from your profile to your computer screen, taking in the images before him. On your screen were photos that were nearly identical to those in the file the team had just reviewed.
It seemed as though this unsub took photos to document their work. Leaving some behind at the crime scenes, taunting law enforcement.
“We didn’t have very many leads back when this came across my desk, but I have new programs I can use to run these photos through now and with Penelope’s help, I think we could finally get this guy.” You explained.
“Alright, why don’t you travel with us so you can access the physicals of the photos.” Aaron suggested.
“Okay!”
“Alright then, wheels up in thirty.” Aaron commanded.
--
“Hey Agent Z! You joining us again?” Derek nudged you gently.
“Not this time, I was just asked to come and consult on a case.” You replied.
“Oh, I see. Bossman calling in his favorite once again.”
“Stop! It’s not like that Derek.”
“Girl…you and I both know that it is.” Derek laughed and walked off.
You made your way to Aaron’s office, knocking on the door. When he calls out for you to enter, you go straight for the chair in front of his desk, plopping into it with a huff.
“You alright?” Aaron asks, concern lacing his tone. “We could do this later if you’re not up for it.”
“No! I’m happy to help! I’ve just got a decision to make, and I don’t know what to do.” You sighed. “Let’s talk about this case!”
Aaron and you went through the case that had been sent in from the NYPD. You were confused as to why he’d called you in to consult, the case had seemed pretty cut and dry…something Aaron would typically delegate to Derek or Dave. The tech aspect to this case was so minute, it was common sense…but you didn’t want to call him out on it.
--
“Thanks again for your help, hopefully the NYPD can close that case pretty quickly now.” Aaron walked you over toward the elevators.
“Any time. I like working with you and the BAU.” You smiled cheerfully.
“So um, what was that decision you have to make?” He inquired.
“Oh, uh…well, Cruz asked me if I wanted to transfer from Cybercrimes over to the BAU actually.”
“That’s great! I mean – I uh. Do you think you’ll do it?”
“I’m thinking about it for sure! It’s just, I’ve been with Cybercrimes for so long, I’d feel bad leaving them…ya know?”
“Yeah, I know what you mean.”
You said your goodbyes and you headed back to your office on the eighth floor. Aaron stood there for a bit, looking after you as you made your exit. He stood there a beat longer before turning and heading back to his office. Only he didn’t get that far. Upon walking through the glass doors, he was met with the whole team standing there waiting for him.
“You’re down bad Hotch.” Emily said.
“Yeah, that was almost painful to watch.” JJ agreed.
“I don’t know what you’re referring to.” Hotch shook his head and made his way back to his office.
--
Agreeing with the director to have you transferred was, quite possibly, the dumbest decision that Aaron could have ever made. He already struggled just being near you when you’d come and assist, but the thought of having you around all the time…what was he meant to do?
Subject: Agent Transfer – Effective immediately Good afternoon, This email is being sent to inform both the CCU and BAU of the immediate transfer of Agent Z. In discussing this transfer, she assured me that should the CCU need her assistance in a case, she’d happily help. She does, however, know that the agents on the team are more than capable of handling things. As for the BAU, given her expertise and background, she will travel with you as needed. I just want to remind you that Agent Z has a background in hacking, computer forensics, criminal justice, psychology, behavior analysis, amongst others. Utilize her skills – I believe she will make an incredible contribution to the BAU. Hotchner – her file was delivered to your office this morning. Also, she needs firearms training, please ensure she completes this before travelling with the team. Let me know if you have any questions. Mateo Cruz - Section Chief of the Behavioral Analysis Unit
Aaron read the email four times. You would be starting with the team today…he needs to get you scheduled for your firearms training and qualification exam. He figured he could do that while you get settled in the office adjacent to Penelope’s.
--
“Hey Hotch.” Your fingers rapped against the doorframe.
“Hi-Hello. Can I uh, show you to your office?” He asked.
“Penelope already beat you to it.” You teased. “But if you want to help me bring the last of my boxes down, that would be awesome.”
“Oh, I um-I…can-”
“It’s okay, you don’t have to! You’re a busy man, and I can ask Spence or Derek!”
“No, I’d love to help.” Aaron recovered.
“Okay.” You smiled.
Aaron led the two of you over to the elevator, allowing you to enter first, then following suit and pressing the button for the eighth floor. It slowly lifted before signaling your arrival on the CCU floor.
You guided Aaron to your old office where the last two boxes remained. There was an IT guy loading your monitors onto a cart, getting ready to move them for you. You looked around at the now empty space…it felt empty now, like it no longer belonged to you, and you supposed it didn’t anymore. Aaron couldn’t help but notice the slight sadness that took over your features.
“Are you alright?” He asked.
“Oh, yeah, I’m okay. It’s just odd, having had this office for the last four years, and now it’s empty…it’s not mine anymore.” Your gaze shifted downward. “It feels like the end of a chapter. While the feeling isn’t bad, because I’m really excited to be joining the BAU, it just feels kind of sad.”
“I know what you mean. I felt that same way when I left the law firm I worked at.” Aaron looked over at you.
You met his gaze, and he offered a small smile. You returned it, feeling this sense of comfort. He’d always brought up that feeling in you though. It was like this glowing warmth that spread its way through your entire being…but that flame only burned in you when he was around.
--
“And hold it just like that, good!” Aaron praised.
You fired three consecutive shots at the target, forming a neat cluster in the outlines chest. Pride bloomed in Aaron’s chest, and you squealed with excitement, throwing your arms around him!
“Thank you so much for helping me! There was no way I was going to pass this exam without you!”
“I’m not sure how you’ve been with the bureau this long and not had to get your firearm qualification.” Aaron shook his head with a laugh.
“Hey! I have been confined to the eighth floor for the last five-ish years, I haven’t needed to carry one.”
Aaron took note of the freckles that dusted your nose, and the way the light reflected in your eyes. He thought for a moment about how close you were, and how easy it would be to just lean in the last few inches and capture your lips in a kiss. But he had to shake the thought away.
--
“I PASSED!” You shouted, running your way through the BAU bullpen.
“Good lord, what are you yelling about?” Dave asked, coming out of his office.
“I PASSED! I PASSED!” You waved your firearms certificate in the air, making your way over to Aaron’s office.
He exited his office to see what the commotion was all about, seeing you shaking your hand, waving a piece of paper around like a mad woman. He was mesmerized by you. You were 100% yourself and he admired you for it, you weren’t worried about how others perceived you. You only worried about your own opinion; you wanted to be the best version of yourself always.
“HOTCHHH, I PASSED!” You ran over to him and jumped into his arms, wrapping your own around his neck.
Aaron held you tight, lifting you off the ground for just a moment before noticing the look on Dave’s face. He placed you down and quietly congratulated you. He couldn’t help but feel embarrassed at getting caught by Dave. He knew that he had done nothing wrong…but he also knew that Dave could read him better than anyone else.
--
“Okay, when are you going to ask that girl out?” Dave huffed, sitting in the chair across from Aaron.
“Dave.” Aaron scolded. “It’s inappropriate.”
“Aaron…you deserve it. Happiness I mean. So, are you going to let it pass you by or are you going to seize the moment?”
“Sir, I don’t mean to interrupt, but we have a case.” Penelope informed. “It’s a child abduction.”
“Let everyone know we’re leaving now – we will brief on the plane.” Aaron commanded.
“Is Z going with you?” Penelope asked.
“Yes!” Dave answered for Aaron.
--
Aaron always sat next to you on the plane. It had been purely accidental, you’d sat in his usual seat and though Aaron wouldn’t say anything, Spencer did. So, you moved over into the adjacent window seat and Aaron slid in next to you. Since then, you’d always sat there.
Like now for example, the BAU was headed home after a two-week long case. The unsub had been way too good at covering his tracks, he’d had the entire team stumped. Thankfully you’d found his slipup in a dark web chatroom. He’d posted video of him torturing his latest victim in a chatroom used by very sick people. It was flagged once you’d turned on notifications for keywords and certain video content. After receiving the notification, Penelope and you were able to track an IP address and narrow down the location.
It had been exhausting honestly, running around, back and forth, interviewing people, going through evidence, just going until you found this guy…and now that was finally catching up to you. Your head had been bobbing off to the side as you fought the throws of sleep. As you began dozing off once more, Aaron reached over and led your head to rest on his shoulder. You finally settled and snuggled a bit further into his side, and for once he leaned back and let himself rest on the flight home.
Emily pointed JJ and Derek’s attention over to the two of you and then giggled. Derek quickly snapped a picture and sent it in their group chat. Penelope was quick to reply with the happy tears emojis and saying “finally”.
--
Things had shifted slightly after that. And while the team still teased Aaron about his very obvious crush on you, he finally allowed himself to be more confident in his interactions with you. He realized that Dave was right…maybe he did deserve happiness.
He’d invited you to get lunch with him a few times during work and he’d brought you coffee. He thought he was making his affection for you more obvious…but you still didn’t budge. He was beginning to worry that you didn't feel the same.
But it all came to a head when he decided he needed to be direct. Not on his own…Emily and JJ had to confront him and then convince him that you did like him, you just didn’t think he liked you.
--
You walked into the elevator, just about to click the button to the sixth floor when an arm reached in to stop the door from closing.
“Oh! Good morning Hotch.” You greeted. “Sorry, if I had seen you coming I’d have held the door.”
“No worries.” He forgave. “Do you um – do you have any plans tonight?”
“No, I was thinking of ordering a pizza and watching an episode of The Great British Bake Off. What about you?”
You’re reply had been so innocent and sweet. Just a simple response to his question, not reading into what he was truly asking you.
“Sweetheart, though your plans sound wonderful…will you go to dinner with me tonight?” He asked.
Your jaw dropped, only for a moment as you worked to regain your composure. Had you really been that blind? The girls had told you time and time again that he was interested, and you’d brushed it off, not wanting to get your hopes up…but here he is now, asking you out.
“I would love to.” You smiled.
Taglist: @bernelflo@pastelpinkflowerlife@just-moondust
#aaron hotchner fic#aaron hotchner x reader#criminal minds#aaron hotchner#hotch x reader#aaron hotchner x you#ssa aaron hotchner#aaron hotch hotchner#hotch x you#aaron hotch fanfiction#aaron hotch x reader#hotchner x reader#hotch#aaron hotch imagine#aaron hotchner fluff#hotchner smut#agent hotchner#hotchner x you#aaron x reader#aaron hotch smut#aaron hotch x you#aaron hotch fic#aaron hotch fluff#aaron hotch angst#aaron hotchner x y/n#aaron hotchner x female reader#aaron hotchner x fem!reader smut#hotch x y/n#aaron hotchner imagine#aaron hotchner angst
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born a vixen.
❤︎smutalicous, fem!reader is plus size coded, has a warped view of intimacy (but don't we all)
❤︎the task force was in desperate need of a distraction for their next mission, and while you're busy working in a brothel for extra money, your boss tells you that you have been chosen to assist.
❤︎ wc: 1.5k
"excuse me?"
you shifted in the uncomfortable leather seat you were perched upon in front of your boss, the lingerie you were wearing did nothing to prevent your thighs from sticking.
"look, i know it's inconvenient, but price called earlier, said he needed a favor, and i technically owe him ever since he saved my ass in a bomb attack years ago," your boss rubs his face in his hands, "and price never shuts the fuck up about a negative balance for favors in his book. so I'd really appreciate it if you would just go in peace like I know you are capable of doing. "
this whole thing just didn't make sense. it had been years since you had even heard from the task force, and had almost forgotten they existed. all you remember is that they're men. big, scary, trigger-happy men. and while you are unfortunately used to being taken advantage of in your line of work, you were not even remotely ready for the way these respectable men would look at you.
being fucked was one thing, being looked at in the eyes was another.
"fine."
❤︎
"so what, now we'll have a whore to look after on top of the missiles falling on our fucking heads?" john "soap" mactavish exclaimed as he sat at a bar stool with his golden beer.
"look at it however you want, this whore will help us survive for the next few missions, hell, for the next few months, so I need both of you to keep your damn act together and hands to yourself." john price gulped the last of his rum and knocked his head towards Ghost, running a glance down his biceps, "especially worried about this one."
"she must be a little thing then, yeah?" soap said while stabbing a rogue lemon slice with his knife.
price smiled into his nth drink, "there is nothing little about her."
and no one could see it, but ghost could feel his upper lip twitch from the tension of the thoughts.
❤︎
you and your boss started your way into the military base dining room, and you couldn't stop your own hands from strangling the other. "don't be nervous, okay? you're the best of the best, that's why they asked for you."
you nodded as he squeezed your shoulder. he's right.
you're hot as shit.
as your strides lengthened with a drip of confidence, the slit in your maroon lingerie cover up allowed for your plump thigh to peek through, and every step you took, you had calculated just enough sway in your thick hips and ass to seduce every man in a 30 mile radius. the lace was cinched at the waist with a harness, allowing for your tits to spill just enough.
high heels, long nails, shiny hair.
shaven legs, smooth skin, white teeth.
so, so nervous.
as you neared the conference room where you were meeting the task force, your boss stopped in his tracks, "you'll have to go in by yourself, red."
your jaw dropped a bit and eyebrows flew up as he waved and walked away, "wait-" the doors closed behind him. you turned around and took a deep breath before opening the second door before you.
after a small creak, you let yourself in and stood before one man.
a masked man, who was almost your height sitting down, who wore all black, who's blue eyes through the mask met yours after slowly skimming the rest of you from the floor up.
"hello, I'm-"
"sit." the man kicked the chair next to him out from under the table. as a small gulp escaped you, you slowly stepped over to the chair he signaled for you to take, "don't you need my name or something? my fucking social security number? or did my boss already tell you?"
a dry chuckle left the man, before he inhaled through his nose, like he was sniffing the air of you. "you're nervous aren't you, pup?"
you were speechless, jaw agape, as he grabbed the leg of your chair and dragged it closer to him, almost as slowly as your heart wished it was beating. from here, you could smell him. like leather and dark, peppery cologne.
"I'm not nervous," you whispered, as your eyes instinctively tried to go to his cloth-covered mouth, before jumping right back to his eyes. you could see though, the slight smirk.
"kinda wish you were, it turns me on when a woman's scared of me. especially women like you." he said before standing.
"the fuck is that supposed to mean?" you watched as he shed off his leather jacket, revealing a tighter-than-average shirt.
fuck me.
the man grabbed both of the arms of the chair you were sitting in and lifted it with you in it so the two of you were eye-level.
his eyes flitted to your lips, "supposed to mean that you strike me as a woman who think she's too heavy to be loved on," he launched you in the chair before catching you again in his hands, eliciting a sharp squeal from you and a deep chuckle from him, "whereas, I think, you're still too light for me to even bench and break a sweat."
he slowly put you back on the ground, still in the chair, before getting on both his knees, and grabbing your palm to kiss the back of it. what is happening?
"I know you're supposed to be the know-it-all of seduction, but I'd like to think I'm pretty good at it myself." the man winked through his mask and you couldn't help but fall victim to the corners of your mouth lifting.
"you're okay it it, I guess. could be better." you teased.
"oh yeah? how so, baby"
you looked him in the eyes for a second before whispering, "what is your name?"
the door slammed open as John price "simon, time is up, how'd she do?"
you jumped up from your chair, "the fuck?"
simon stood, "fine I 'spose," you looked at him confused and fuming, "best fucking rack I've ever seen." price snickered at the comment.
"what the ever-loving fuck is going on here?" you screamed and stomped over to price before shoving a pointed finger in his chest, "was this a test?"
price looked down at you and shrugged, "sounds like you passed so what does it matter?"
"pup, come 'ere, price, leave us alone for a minute, yeah?" simon said from his seat that he so quickly made himself comfortable in.
"no fucking way I'm ever being left alone in a room with that creepy fucker again," you spat before trying to exit behind price, but a large hand wrapped around your middle and yanked you back.
you landed in Simon's lap with a small scream, and his other hand wrapped around your mouth as you tried to squirm.
"so fucking tense, just relax, relax," he said as his hand came off your mouth and onto your thigh before squeezing. a few deep breaths came out from his lungs and into yours, it felt like. "there ya go, baby."
a few tears let themselves out of your mouth as you panted, "no, no no don't want you to *hiccup* touch me if you don't mean it." you hear rustling from your back and gasp when you feel Simon's lips on your neck, "yeah pup? tell me what else you don't want."
"fuck you," you spat.
"I meant it, y'know," simon said before leaving an open-mouthed kiss right underneath your ear, making you squirm, "really? you said.
"really. you definitely have the best rack I've ever seen," he chuckled and bit your ear lobe.
"fuck. YOU." you yelled while pushing yourself off of him and attempting to push him away before he grabbed both your wrists and held them behind your back, then pinning you against the conference table.
"see, you keep saying that but honestly, I don't think you could handle being fucked by me. I'd hurt you, pretty baby. hurt you so bad. you don't want that, do you? you don't want me to pin you like this on any surface I find and bury my cock into your pussy? I know you’ve felt a lot of them, but let me tell you right now," simon paused before leaning down to your ear, "I'd be the best one you'd ever felt."
you let out a moan and craned your neck to look at him behind you, "shut the fuck up, simon."
"mm, say it again, puppy."
"no."
simons knee separated your legs, dragging itself up and up till you were practically split on his knee. "do you want it or not?"
you couldn't speak, you were dizzy with lust and anger and, fuck, you did want it. Simons heavy arms circled around your hips and brought you to stand in front of him and grabbed your jaw to look to him.
"I'll take that as a yes."
❤︎ part 2 coming soon!!!!! -
#simon riley x reader#circesthots#ghost x reader#modern warfare#simon riley x you#simon riley cod#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley smut#ghost cod#ghost smut#ghost#ghost imagine#simon riley#simon ghost riley#simon riley headcanons
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