#okay I admit this is wholly a power fantasy

[liatai]

I let them struggle for a moment against my firm handshake before I release. Not long, less than a quarter of a second, but enough.

"Nice to meet you," I say, "but are you okay?"

"-- Fine! Fine," she says, trying to laugh it off. Or trying to look like she's trying to laugh it off.

I cant my head to one side. "... Katie said you were an empath. Do you need a sec?" I gesture over to a nearby table, and she gratefully sinks down, still looking tense.

"Are you okay, Leah? I've never seen Linda have such a strong reaction to someone --" Katie flits around like a hummingbird.

"I'm fine, I have a hunch what happened." I smile in what I hope is a gentle way in her direction. "Could you make us some tea, please? I think a reading like that deserves a hot drink and a little privacy."

Grateful for something to do, Katie zips off, mumbling both of our favorite kinds of tea to herself to remember. Linda shuffles in her seat. I fold my hands.

"... Okay. Do you want to talk about it?" I keep my voice low, comforting. "What surprised you?"

Linda wrings her hands. "-- Well, I'm not sure I should say."

"Why not?" I'm genuinely curious. "They're my emotions, right, that you picked up on? Katie's not here, it's just you and me -- we can talk about it. It's not good to bottle these things up."

She lets it hang for a good minute, staring off into middle distance, before sighing. "Well, it's not polite. I learned very early with my powers that there are things that are generally... not spoken about aloud. Things that, while true and real, are frowned upon to discuss with new acquaintances."

She's searching my face, even I can tell. Well, that's another data point. My affect is usually hard for neurotypical folks to read.

"Do you understand what I mean?" she ventures after a few seconds.

"Ma'am, I'm autistic. Please just lay it out straight for me." I smile a little. "What social rule are you worried about breaking? I can give you a ten-minute pass. Call it the Katie-Friends special!"

This actually gets a laugh. One of those distant ones, though, the kind that are uncomfortable and half-pitying. I have a hard time reading social cues, but that one gets thrown at you often enough by others in your life that you pick up on it.

"Come on, out with it. What did you read?" I widen my smile and fold my hands on the table, tilting my head a little to show curiosity and interest.

Linda leans forward, her voice taking a whispery tone. "Well, if you must know -- I simply got momentarily overwhelmed. Shocked, really. It happens sometimes, when someone has a particularly powerful emotion that hasn't been addressed. My powers react to it and overload my senses." She gestures me closer, leaning farther over the table with her voice lowering further. "Often times, it's lust."

I knit my eyebrows and frown. Okay, so she may have recognized the lesbian flag pin on my bag, but clearly missed the asexual one right next to it. Or just didn't recognize it.

She leans back. "But often, especially with us women, it's rage. Some kind of anger that we're not socially allowed to express."

I sit back, letting my face relax into its normal fairly flat affect.

She doesn't say anything more for a few seconds.

"..... and?" I prompt.

"Well, it could also be sorrow. Have you lost someone dear to you recently? A bereavement?"

That's enough data for me. I fold my hands again, pressing the palms together to bolster my courage with a little sensory feedback. "... Linda?"

"Yes, dear?"

"I have a lot of questions, but before I start on any of them, could I trust you with a secret?"

Her eyes practically start sparkling as she claps her hands softly and leans in. "Of course!"

"It's about Katie."

She leans even closer toward me.

"Katie's a sweetheart. She always sees the best in people. Sometimes to her detriment, you know? She's a lot like me when I was little. But..."

I lay my hands loosely on the table, in a casual invitation for them to be held. Linda seizes them tightly.

"But?" She furrows her eyebrows in a show of concern, but her smile betrays her.

My grip tightens.

"But people like you take advantage of that kindness far too often."

She gasps a little and looks scandalized, trying to pull away again, but now I use the full force of my grip, symbolically pinning her hands to the table.

"I don't know what you think you're --"

"Listen. I gave you the benefit of the doubt. That air conditioning unit has been bothering me all day. I thought, maybe you were picking up on that discomfort I'd been masking. After all, I'm very good at dealing with sensory overload in a way that doesn't make other people uncomfortable. Ways that don't put on a show. And I've known enough other folks on the spectrum to know what it looks like when someone's overloaded to the point of not being able to mask anymore."

"Spectrum --?"

I'm too vexed to do education right now. I do release her hands, though. "I'm going to trust, for Katie's sake, that your intentions are good. That this is a bit you do, you know? Your showmanship is good! But don't pull that shit again with me. Mmkay?"

Linda flexes her fingers and rubs them. "Okay. Okay."

I point casually at her, with a look over the top of my glasses. "And if you start trying to drive a wedge between me and Katie because of this conversation? I'll know, and the kid gloves will come off. We clear?"

She nods. I smile, sitting back, and lightly clap my hands together, finally letting my foot jiggle under the table. All that energy had to go somewhere!

"Awesome, so! How'd you and Katie meet? Hobby club? I don't join a lot of clubs, but I do some crafting, too..."

It takes a little bit, but by the time Katie comes back, Linda is showing me her most recent knitting project. Time will tell about the rest.

You’re meeting the friend of a friend for the first time, who’s apparently an empath. When they shake your hand, they immediately rip their hand away from you.

[abbatoirablaze]

Surrogate Luna, Chapter 24

Word Count:  2.1k

Warnings:  implied fantasy smut.

“Hey…are you okay?”

Cinna nodded, smiling up at her friend, “yes-I just-it’s amazing to see how all of you have accepted me and my pups into your pack…”

“We may act like barbarians, but we are a very accepting group,” Nat smiled sweetly, “and anyways, you’re our luna.  Our pack has waited what feels like forever for you.  I don’t know if you noticed or not, but Bucky isn’t willing to compromise about things that he’s passionate on…and one of those topics is his mates.  He’s had offers for years to settle down with someone and for us to have a luna, but he wanted to have faith that he’d be okay…that he’d find the right one eventually.”

Cinna bit her lip, “I noticed.”

Yelena nudged her, “you’ve made our alpha very happy…I’ve never seen him like this.”

“N-not even with Steve?”

“It was…different with Steve…” Nat admitted softly, “not bad different, but they were young pups.  And Steve’s father wasn’t accepting of the pairing…and neither was his pack.  But we all get along well with the Stark pack.  He’s been kind to our alpha, and vice versa.  We are glad that he chose you!  He must really love you.”  

“Can I ask something, Nat?” she asked, “will-will you be honest with me?”

“Natasha is always too honest,” Yelena laughed as she continued on with their stroll, “don’t test that theory.”

“Do either of you think that it’s odd?” you asked, “we-we haven’t heard anything from Steve and Sharon…but they seemed pretty intent on war when we were at the Stark pack summit.”

“I think that if it was meant to be then it would be,” Natasha replied thoughtfully, “Sharon is a bully…but not truly powerful.  I think she’s only kept Steve around because she feeds off his power with her mark…but I don’t think that she’d truly last in a war.  Our pack would crush hers.  And I think that deep down, she knows that.  She’s an idiot, but not wholly suicidal.”

Cinna nodded, taking in the information as they started to come up to the training grounds, “you know, if you are interested in learning how to fight or protect yourself, we could always teach you…and believe it or not, Clint is a sigma.”

“A sigma?” she asked, her brows popping up in surprise, “I didn’t-he doesn-“

“Doesn’t come across as one?” Natasha smiled.  Cinna nodded, “we know.  Alpha Barnes…Bucky-he has a program for sigmas and omegas…anyone that really wants to better themselves at ignoring alpha commands during battles…Clint was a test subject of sorts.  He found out that if a designation is put in the right conditions, they can actually ignore alpha commands…”

“H-how does he do that?”

“It takes years of training!” Clint admitted, practically appearing out of nowhere, “we’ve been working on it since we were pups, because I had been taken as a POW in a war with another pack.”

“Clint was actually from a pack in the Midwest,” Yelena admitted, “our pack rescued him when he was what…eight?  Ten?”

“Six,” Clint corrected, “my pack was wiped out…Bucky’s father was the one who rescued me…me, Bucky and Natasha all came up together…”

“And then we got stuck with Yelena when my parents wanted another pup!” Natasha teased as she grabbed her little sister and pulled her close.

Yelena playfully snapped at her sister, and the two siblings smiled, pushing away from one another, “so, luna…what’s on the agenda for today?  We’re having a pack feast tonight, so-“

“Another one?”

“Alpha Barnes believes in celebrating life,” Yelena smiled, “our pack dynamics are a little…different than most.”

“I’ve noticed!” Cinna smiled, “but I love it here, and so do my pups…so I’m not complaining!”

“TO OUR LUNA!”

The drinks were thrown up in the air, chalices and glassware clinking wildly as the roar from the pack put butterflies in Cinna’s stomach.  She looked at Bucky and couldn’t help but swoon as she saw Saradia snuggling into his chest.

It was far past the three-year old’s bed time, but she’d wanted to be part of the festivities, much like Peter and Stevie, who were both animatedly talking with the other pups next to their own head table. 

Bucky reached out with his free hand and Cinna took it, longing to touch Bucky at any chance that she could. 

“Looks like you may have a new shadow, alpha!” Cinna teased, gesturing to her daughter who was basking in the fact that Bucky was holding her, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen my fiery little sigma so attached to anyone…”

Bucky smiled at his mate, “I want a whole pack of pups, omega…I’ve always wanted that…and I think that Saradia sees that and feels safe with me.”

The three-year-old, who was trying so hard to stay awake nodded, shifting so that she could look at her mother. 

“Hello little one…”

“Our pack, momma…”

“Yes baby…this is our pack…”

“Daddy pack.”

Even knowing how close Bucky and her had become over the past few days, Cinna was still surprised to hear the words uttered from her lips. 

“Yes baby…” she smiled softly, her other hand reaching out to stroke her pup’s cheek.  She looked up at Bucky, “maybe I should put the kids to bed…it’s late.”

“Whatever you want, omega!”

“No, momma!” she begged, shifting out of Bucky’s arms and towards her mother, “wanna stay up…like Peter…”

“Peter and Stevie need to sleep too baby!” she cooed. 

“Uh uh!” she giggled, shifting out of the alpha’s arms entirely before running over to Peter and clinging to his side while she watched him interact with the pups from Bucky’s pack. 

“I-it’s nice…you know!” she admitted after a second, “seeing my pups together…having all of them here.”

Bucky reached out and was gentle in how he pulled his mate’s chair closer, before shifting her onto his lap.  He pressed a few soft kisses to her neck before she turned to look at him.

“I’m happy that you’re happy, luna…”

“I’m home!” she sighed softly, nuzzling against him, “home and with my pups…and my mate…how could I not be happy?”

“Luna?”

Cinna looked up, broken from her thoughts of her first night there, “I’m sorry, what?”

“We were asking if you wanted us to get the pups down for a nap before the festivities?” one of the caretakers asked. 

Natasha giggled from beside her, nudging her, “you thinking about your alpha over there?”

“Wh-what?”

Yelena rolled her eyes and left the group.  Cinna’s own eyes followed her, and that was when she noticed what had pushed her into a trance like state.  Bucky had been play-fighting with Saradia, Peter, and Stevie, showing them how to use the stick swords, laughing as he talked about the old, civilized way of fighting with a sword and shield. 

And the kids seemed like they were having the times of their lives, each of their little faces lighting up as they poked the big alpha with the fake swords while he attempted to outmaneuver them. 

But she had noticed the sweat that had formed on his tan, developed abdomen.  The droplets and how they had paraded between the ridges and valley of his deep cut abs. 

Her pupils dilated as she watched his form. 

‘Take the kids in!’ she whimpered softly, not bothering to spare the entourage a look.  They were quick in removing the giggling children.  She noticed the surprise on Bucky’s features, and how he was about to ask where they were taking the pups, until he saw his omega’s face. 

Until he smelled the scent of her arousal filling the air around him.  He smiled, stalking towards her, ‘omega…’

The simple call of her designation was enough to set her soul on fire. 

She growled at him, and he growled in response.  His chest heaved as he breathed in deeply to catch her scent, ‘smell so sweet, omega.’

‘Need you, alpha!’ she purred, feeling the butterflies moving from in her stomach to a tingling between her thighs.

‘Can smell you!’ he exclaimed, sweeping her into his arms.  She moaned, and her eyes closed as he pulled her into a searing kiss.  

‘Bucky!’

He growled yet again, and cupped her ass, squeezing the fleshy globes, ‘gonna put a pup in you, omega…’

‘Put a whole litter in me!’ she begged.

‘Never gonna stop!’ he growled between kisses as he slid his hand down her thigh and pressed her against the wall.  She moaned, feeling his hardened length only sheltered by his denim, ‘gonna keep you full, luna.  Gonna build up our pack with so many pups…’

“MOMMY!”

Cinna was shaken from her thoughts when she felt a set of hands wrap around her leg.  She smiled, seeing that Stevie had run up to her and was hugging her. 

Peter and Saradia were close behind, attacking her thighs with just as much energy as the alpha pup. 

“I made it first!” Stevie proclaimed happily.

“That you did, my little alpha!”

“Well, I got here second!” Peter grinned.

“Also true, my sweet little omega.”

“I made too!” Saradia frowned. 

She leaned forward and picked up her youngest, perching on her hip.  She kissed her cheek, “and my fearless little sigma…how could I forget you?”

She giggled as Bucky joined the group, fake sword perched on his shoulder, “I lost all my little soldiers…”

“Momma!” Saradia smiled, as though it were the most obvious thing.

“That’s right, little sigma,” Bucky grinned, pinching her cheek, “We always protect our omegas…especially our mothers and pups.  You three were right to come protect your mother…because I’m going to eat her next!”

The pups giggled as Bucky dropped his sword and scooped his omega into his arms, before peppering her face in kisses.

“No, daddy!” Saradia said quickly, trying to push Bucky’s face away, “you don’t eat momma.  She’s luna.”

“That’s right!” he proclaimed, pressing a kiss to Saradia’s cheek, “your mother is our pack’s luna…do you know what that makes you?”

“Princess?”

The boys laughed from between Bucky and Cinna, shaking their heads at their baby sister, but Bucky nodded as he plucked Saradia from Cinna’s grasp, “that’s right, Saradia.  You’re a princess.  You’re daddy’s little princess and princess over the whole pack!”

Her eyes seemed to light up as Peter looked at Cinna, “princesses don’t exist, do they, mommy?”

“Of course not!” Stevie laughed. 

“In Europe, they don’t go by pack leaders,” she reminded them, “they do call them princesses and princes…if we ever went, Bucky would be a king, and I would be queen of the Barnes pack…just as you two would be princes and Saradia would be a princess.”

“I’m a prince!” Peter smiled. 

“That you are,” she grinned, “come little pups…I came to get you because Natasha and Yelena reminded me about the feast tonight!”

Stevie’s eyes lit up, “another one?”

“Yes, another one…come on…I need to get the three of you bathed and napped beforehand.”

“But I’m not tired, momma!” Saradia whined.

“But if you nap, you can stay up with me and mommy…and Peter and Stevie,” Bucky reminded her gently, helping out in his own little way, “you can stay for the whole party.”

She seemed to think about it for a second before nodding, and reaching back out to Cinna, who was mouthing a quick ‘thank you’ to him. 

Bucky watched as Cinna got the kids all lined up and headed towards the packhouse.  He felt his inner wolf howling at how she walked away from him, hips swaying.  He breathed a deep sigh and paused. 

His brows furrowed as he noticed the sweeter scent. 

“You okay, alpha?” Sarah asked as she rejoined him after putting the swords away. 

Bucky nodded, “I just-my luna…she smells sweeter.  Have you noticed?”

Sarah shook her head, “sorry, Buck…wasn’t sniffing your mate…who knows…only time I’ve ever known her to smell sweeter though was when she’s about to go into a heat, or when she was pregnant…”

“Yeah…”

“I mean, you two did have that romp at Tony’s summit,” she laughed, nudging the alpha, “who knows indeed.  Maybe the Barnes pack is about to see their first heir through their alpha and luna.”

She laughed for a second, but stopped when Bucky’s eyes snapped to hers, and the realization hit him. 

“She’s been here four months, Sarah…” Bucky said quickly, eyes going wide, “I-she hasn’t had a heat since the night we sent each other into a breakthrough one…”

“Well shit,” she smiled, slapping the alpha on the shoulder, “looks like the Barnes pack might see it’s first heir after all…congratulations, Alpha…”

“Holy shit…” he murmured to himself, “i-it’s really happening…”

“So,” she smirked, “when are you going to tell Cinna?”

Chapter 25

Tag List:  @lohnes16, @prokey16, @tenaciousperfectionunknown, @teambarnes72, @mrsevans90

[literary-illuminati]

Books I Read In June

24. The Chosen and the Beautiful, by Nghi Vo

Really, I should have read this one last year when it was getting all the buzz – it actually really mostly lived up to it!

But then, I’m the weirdo who actually enjoyed The Great Gatsby in the first place. If you didn’t at least kind of enjoy all the references and narrative fuckery with the source text. It’s, well, it’s not quite fanfic imo (at least, no more than Ten Things I Hate About You is. Which I mean if you want to argue the point you’d probably win, but), and if you come into it blind you’re going to miss like a third of what’s going on.

The whole urban fantasy aesthetic doesn’t really add much beyond, like, aesthetics and vibes and making the incredibly obvious metaphor wholly and completely literal re: Gatsby’s selling his soul. But, like, the book has so much fun with all the magical ‘20s decadence and literally occulted speakeasies and gay bars and similar.

25. Capital Without Borders, by Brooke Harrington

On a fundamental level the basic conceit of ‘anthropologist spends years learning the customs and folkways of a privacy obsessed community who feel reviled by the wider world – the private wealth managers of the ultrawealthy’ is just, like, incredibly funny to me.

But despite being incredibly dry and very, like, academic, this was actually shockingly readable. Actually pretty interesting, too.

I mean, in a ‘filled with despair and loathing’ sort of way, but still. Interesting sort of dialectic where the officials who actually serve the various world powers’ state apparatuses absolutely loathe the whole deal with tax havens and matryoshka dolls of trusts and charitable foundations and everything else, but despite ostensibly having basically unlimited coercive force at their fingertips they’re more or less helpless to do anything about it. Always fascinating to get a look at the people who the world works on behalf of.

And I admit I sort of have an aesthetic fascination with the sort of elite professional who ends up being a de facto social worker and relationship councilor for the much MORE elite family they work for.

26. Plague Birds, by Jason Sanford

I…thought this was a Hugo nominee? But apparently not? So, okay, zero idea how I ended up reading it.

Possibly my new top contender for ‘non-visual media which are still, spiritually, anime”. You know, post-post-apocalyptic setting of scattered villages watched over by benign village Ais and clans of dangerous hunters in the wilderness and wandering superpowered paladins who wear red leather and have bright red hair who are bonded to a super-powerful AI in their blood, and also the only character who isn’t at least kind of a furry is the apparently 16-year-old girl whose actually a myriad old alien spy.

Anyway! Decent romp, but honestly kind of fell apart in the third act, imo. Spent too long luxuriating in the (honestly very fun) worldbuilding, so all the actual plot and revelations had to be crammed together without having nay space to breath or feel natural.

Also the protagonist turns out to be, like, the most special child to ever exist Chosen-One-but-sci-fi, which I just generally despise.

Kinda a bit less than the sum of its parts, imo.

27. Across the Green Grass Fields, by Seanan Mcguire

Hugo novella nominee number 3!

This was fun! Not really much more than fun, but still – pleasantly tropey read, in a self-consciously fairytale-like sort of way.

I’m informed that it’s part of some wider setting/universe, but honestly you really couldn’t tell reading it.

Kind of amused at the apparent coincidence that this came out at (IIRC) basically the same time as a children’s tv show called Centaurworld, which I know absolutely nothing about except a friend stole the surprisingly terrifying villain to use in D&D.

Anyway, like, 3/5? The last thing I read by the author was Middlegame, and this is just honestly a pretty big let down by comparison. Doesn’t help that the general vibe kept me mentally comparing it with The Girl Who Circumnavigated Fairyland In A Ship Of Her Own Making, either (not a flattering comparison for it).

28. A Master of Djinn, by P. Djèlí Clark

Hugo novel nominee number 4!

As a fan of pulpy weird alternate 20th centuries, this really was catnip to me. Buddy cop antics in a Djinn-haunted steampunk Cairo at the turn of the 20th century! A heroine who insists on wearing perfectly tailored English suits at all times despite living in early 20th century Cairo! A climax involving a giant robot and an evil wizard trying to restore the British Empire!

The vibes were sublime.

Beyond the amazing aesthetics there isn’t much to write home about, honestly – the setting is largely set dressing over a fairly conventional plot. Fun set dressing! The bit where the Brits and Americans are basically losing at imperialism because they went hard on the whole witch hunting things while everyone else went digging for local spirits to try allying with doesn’t necessarily make much sense, but is very funny to me.

29. Project Hail Mary, by Andy Weir

And Hugo Novel Nominee Number 5!

So I think I mentioned but – I did not know this was by the The Martian guy until I started reading it, but oh my fuck can you tell.

The tone is very..specific. I found it pretty grating, honestly, but not nearly enough to outweigh all the things the book has going for it.

So, it’s hard sci fi. Like, ‘extended asides to explain the scientific processes and technological breakthroughs as they happen for the education of the reader, most of the acknowledgements section is thanking different scientists for their help making it accurate’ hard sci fi. Honestly it’s to the books credit that the writing is just kind of twee and self satisfied, and not soul-witheringly dry.

The decision to have the protagonist wake up with amnesia and then slowly fill out the backstory as he makes do on the spaceship orbiting Tau Ceti he woke up from a medically induced coma in next to two dead crew mates was frankly an incredibly good decision, because the earth chapters are a) clearly just an excuse/justification to get him to Tau Ceti and b) just incredibly boring.

But, like, I really cannot overemphasize how much I just adore first contact scenarios where both parties are awkwardly trying to understand each other and work out some sort of mutually intelligible way to get information across and solve some desperate problem together. The aliens were so lovingly amazingly weird, too – both the astrophage and whatever Rocky’s species are called.

I literally read it travelling halfway across the continent, so can confirm that it’s a great airport read.

If Hollywood isn’t a bunch of cowards they’ll spend $100 million to make this one a movie too.

30. The Past Is Red, by Catherynne Valente

Hugo novella nominee number 4! Getting close!

Valente’s pretty easily one of my favorite writers currently working, and this did absolutely nothing to change my mind about that. I mean, a bit heavy handed – the setting is quite literally the city-sized island of trash floating above the waves after the seas have risen and drowned the entire world – but still, it’s the sort of ever so slightly surreal magical realism I’m really very fond of.

The prose was just relentlessly sharp and occasionally mean spirited and really consistently great, imo. For whatever reason ‘hope that’s just greed, going by it’s maiden name’ has gotten thoroughly stuck in my head.

Tetley as a protagonist is just generally amazing and wonderfully tragic and interestingly broken, really.

Anyway, haven’t read Elder Race of A Spindle Splintered yet but really solidly my favorite of the hugo novellas I’ve read so far.  

[atc74]

Ready For Love

Warnings: Bad sexual pun (but it’s not, it’s f-ing hilarious), Impala!Sex - I think that says it all right there

Summary: Once Jensen’s parting gift form set arrives in Austin, he plans a night 

Pairing: Jensen x Reader

Word Count: 1305

Written for: @emoryhemsworth​ and this request I took from her: Picture this: Jensen knows the reader *loved* Dean and Anna’s love scene in the Impala, so he surprises her and they recreate it... for real this time. 😉   No, my requests are not open, please do not ask.

Beta’d by: @winchest09​ who thinks I’m funny ;) - dividers by @writeyourmindaway​ - thank you!

Like Jensen’s scent? Buy it here from @scentsfromthebunker!

As a reminder, this is a work of fiction and should be regarded as such. No harm is intended toward the actor(s) or their families.

“She’s here! She’s here!” Emmaleigh, their excited four year old, jumped up and down at the front window. 

“Calm down, baby girl,” Jensen laughed as he entered the front room, their two year old son, Tristan, settled on his hip. 

“What is all the commotion about?” Y/N asked slowly descending the staircase. 

“She’s here, Mama! Baby is here!” Emmaleigh squealed. 

“I know you’re excited, Emma, but we need to wait, okay?” Y/N explained to the child, before turning to her husband. “Let me take this one, and you can head out. We’ll be out as soon as she is settled.” 

“I’m so stoked!” Jensen pumped his fist as he passed their son over to her and rushed out the front door. 

Y/N laughed, shaking her head and talking to their children. “I don’t know who is more excited, Emma or Daddy.” 

“Daddy!” Tristan shrieked, squirming in her hold. 

It took several, long minutes before the delivery company had the pristine 1967 black Chevrolet Impala parked in their driveway, giving their neighbors plenty of time to congregate outside with their morning coffee and watch as the beauty was dropped off. As soon as the truck cleared their property, Emmaleigh was out the front door, jumping into Jensen’s arms as he walked around the seventeen foot length of the ebony beast. 

Y/N could hear Jensen talking to their daughter. “She has a 502 big block V-8 engine, powered by 550 horses…” 

“Daddy, where are the horses?” Emma looked up Jensen with matching green eyes filled with curiosity and confusion. 

“Oh baby girl, they aren’t real horses,” Jensen laughed. “It’s about power, little one. I’ll teach you all about it when you’re older.”

“Can we go for a car ride, Daddy?” Emma asked, quickly forgetting the things that no longer interest her.  

“Not yet, Emma. Baby doesn’t have the right seatbelts in the backseat for you and your brother, but soon, okay? I promise it will be soon,” Jensen set her back on the ground as Y/N joined him at the front of the car. 

“So, they really let you have her, huh?” Y/N whispered, in awe that “Baby” was sitting in their driveway.

“Yeah, it was part of my release contract. You know I didn’t ask for much, but I wasn’t leaving this show after fifteen years without bringing Baby home to my baby,” Jensen pulled her into him, caging her body between his legs. 

“No, Daddy!” Tristan pushed both his hands into Jensen’s face. 

“Yeah, okay, little man,” Jensen tugged the toddler from his wife’s arms, setting him down to play with his sister and the drawing chalk. Y/N turned to head back inside, when a strong grip on her wrist stopped her, pulling her back into her husband. “But you and me? We got a date tomorrow night, Mama.” 

“Oh, we do, do we?” Y/N grinned ear to ear, throwing her arms loosely around Jensen’s neck. “Maybe I have plans.” 

“Or maybe, I made better plans. And got a sitter,” Jensen whispered, pulling her a little closer, so as not to be overheard by little ears. “You up for a little game of hide the angel grace?”

Y/N felt her skin flush as her body heated from the inside out. Jensen Ackles was the hottest thing she had ever laid eyes upon and he knew her deepest fantasy. The one that didn’t involve her husband, but the fictional character he played for fifteen years, and a red-haired angel in the back on the very 1967 Chevy Impala they were leaning against now. 

“Don’t tease me, Ackles. Payback's a bitch, buddy,” Y/N pulled back, looking deep into her husband’s forest green orbs. 

“Oh, I ain’t teasing, Baby. I am one hundred and ten percent serious. Drop the kids off at the Pads, do a little hill country driving, just you and me? What’dya say?” Jensen dropped his voice, looking into her eyes. 

“Oh my God, you are serious,” Y/N gasped as she took in Jensen’s expression. “Oh hell yes!” 

Jensen packed the children and their bags in the overly safe family vehicle and drove them over to Jared and Gen’s to spend the night. He started planning this night for her, for them, since he got the delivery confirmation that the Impala had started her trek from Vancouver. He even went back and did some research, rummaging through his wardrobe in an attempt to get everything perfect for her. Down to the last detail. 

With dinner and refreshments packed, he waited nervously for Y/N to come down the stairs. He wasn’t nervous being with her. No, intimacy had also come easy for them, but planning this night, wanting it to live up to her expectations, that is what had him on pins and needles. He turned, hearing the soft click on her boots on the hardwoods, and couldn’t believe his eyes. The woman that approached him was his wife, but could have been a stand in for ‘Anna’ from the outfit, to her naturally red hair. 

“Wow, you look…” Jensen gasped as she reached him. 

“We’ve never done any role playing before, so I thought this would be fun. Too much?” Y/N asked, her eyes searching his, looking for any indication that she had gone too far. 

“Hmm, no, you look the part, but even more beautiful,” he assured her. “Ready?”

“Like you wouldn’t believe,” she agreed. 

“Oh, I think I’ve got a pretty damn good idea,” Jensen mumbled. 

“This isn’t as spacious as it looks on television,” Y/N admitted, trying to get comfortable in the backseat. “Is this...pleather?”

“No, it is not pleather; it’s the factory original vinyl,” Jensen laughed, sitting back on his heels, his head slightly bent. “Here, try laying back on the blankets.”

“Ever the gentleman,” Y/N giggled, as she scooched down, her head resting on the nest of blankets Jensen had packed. 

“Well, it’s what Dean did, and he had way more experience with this than I’ve had in my life, so I figured…” he revealed, blushing slightly. “Oh, shit! I almost forgot!” 

Jensen pulled his phone from the front pocket of his jeans, pressing a few buttons until the car was filled with the sounds of Bad Company’s ‘Ready for Love.’ He placed the phone in the back window. “There, that’s better.” 

“Come here, baby,” Y/N whispered, pulling him down to her, their lips meeting in the dark. 

Jensen slotted his body between her legs, their hips colliding, grinding together as they sought friction from the other. He pulled back, admiring the beautiful woman beneath him. Unbuttoning her blouse, her eyes met his in a silent plea. He removed his shirts, anticipating the feel of her skin on his.

He slid his hands up, popping the button on her jeans, and peeling them from her legs, all the while keeping his eyes locked on hers. A smile slid across her features as she sat up, switching spots with her husband. She slowly removed his jeans, feeling him hard and bare beneath her. It was a powerful feeling, having him at her mercy in this cramped space. She used that power within her, to roll her hips over his, his stiff length pressing against her deliciously. 

Lowering her head, she captured his lips once more as she tilted forward, allowing him to slip inside her. She held him there, stretching her open as she panted his name until it became a moan from her lips. “Jensen. Jensen. Jensen.”

“Baby, I love you so much,” Jensen groaned as he slipped further into her, joining them together wholly. The windows were misty from their efforts, shielding them from view, but they only existed in this space, with one another. They only existed because of the other. 

Did you like it? The nicest thing you can do for a writer is reblog their work and tell them, and others, how much you like it!

The Whole Enchilada: @iwantthedean @dolphincliffs @mrswhozeewhatsis @flamencodiva @blacktithe7  @amanda-teaches @hannahindie  @kickingitwithkirk  @wi-deangirl77 @hobby27 @gh0stgurl @alleiradayne @idreamofplaid @manawhaat @crashdevlin  @emoryhemsworth  @fangirlxwritesx67 @winchesterprincessbride @waywardbeanie @jensengirl83​ @anathewierdo  @winchest09

Jensen’s Jamboree: @jerkbitchidjitassbutt​ @dean-winchesters-bacon​ @adoptdontshoppets @supernatural-jackles​ @fandom-princess-forevermore​ @akshi8278​ @thing-you-do-with-that-thing​ @deanwanddamons​ @rockhoochie​

[kolbisneat]

MONTHLY MEDIA: February 2021

Whoa I know it’s exactly 4 weeks but February just flew by! Here’s how I spent those chilly days.

……….FILM……….

Barb and Star Go To Vista Del Mar (2021) Silly and sincere and just...a lot of fun. There is so much happening at all times that you’re bound to enjoy at least half of it. Maybe 2/3rds. Mileage will vary but watch the teaser trailer. Does that look like a movie you’d enjoy? If “yes” then go watch it.

Freaky (2020) Fun! And a couple solid laughs. If you’ve seen Happy Death Day then it’s similar in tone but I admit I think I liked that better than this. It delivers on the premise but almost feels like it has a tiny fourth act that...doesn’t really fit. Not bad, overall.

The Kid Detective (2020) Highly recommend. A good dark comedy with a wild third act and overall just a good time at the movies. I’m not sure if a trailer gives too much away so just picture Adam Brody as a washed up kid detective trying to solve a murder case.

Logan Lucky (2017) Pretty solid! It kinda drags after the heist (oh yeah, it’s a heist film...love it) but other than that it’s really rather fun! Worth checking out.

……….TELEVISION……….

WandaVision (Episode 1.01 to 1.08) While it’s starting to slot into the overall Marvel formula, I really appreciate that the superhero stuff is dabbling in weirder stuff. Between the illusion scene in Spider-Man 2 to this, I’m really rather hopeful that the movies will get more colourful and wacky and ever closer to the aesthetics of Speed Racer (also go watch Speed Racer).

The Bachelor (Episode 25.05 to 25.08) What. A. Mess. I mean I of course follow all the drama outside of the series and it really feels like 1 step forward highlighting the 2 steps back happening in tandem. Sure, Matt is bland and I really just want more of the goofy stuff that they show at the end of the episode, but those complaints are overshadowed by a really irresponsible casting and production that brings in super problematic contestants. It’s a bummer. But I DO think I’m winning my fantasy league! 

The Night Manager (Episode 1.01 to 1.04) Far less night managing than I expected, but what we ARE getting is a really solid spy mini series. Also I always think Tom Hiddleston is like...average to average-tall actor height (maybe 6 feet?) but he absolutely towers over most of the cast! It’s wild. Also a good show.

Crime Scene: The Vanishing at the Cecil Hotel (Episode 1.01 to 1.04) The first three episodes had me a little worried for how much they relied on youtubers and a community that feels...rather exploitative of a really tragic situation, but the end kinda redeems itself. I don’t think it holds them as accountable for the damage they’ve done and the problems they caused, but that’s just me.

……….READING……….

Magic for Liars by Sarah Gailey (Complete) As a character study, it’s really really great. I wish I hadn’t read focusing on the murder mystery component because that side is...fine. I was looking for clues and misdirects and it was too late when I’d realized that was not the type of book I was reading. I won’t spoil anything. Instead I’ll suggest it as a good book to check out if you want to read about a very human detective working in a world that is not her own. In that, i wholly recommend.

Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir (Page 203 of 453) Gosh I’m loving this so far! The lead character is so fun to read and the whole premise (okay...1 necromancer and 1 swordsperson from 8 communities come together to sort out who will rule over them all in a techno gothic haunted mansion) is bonkers but grounded and it’s a really good time. There’s so much chemistry between each character and lots of skeleton minions so I really don’t know how else to sell this book.

House of X / Powers of X by Jonathan Hickman, Pepe Larraz, R.B. Silva, and Marte Gracia (Complete) Really great ideas and as I don’t read a lot of X-men, it feels like two things are crucial to every big story: conflict with humans and time travel/time jump stuff. When I finished reading it I admit I wondered “is that it?” as it really feels like an unfinished story...more like a setup to bigger things. Turns out that’s exactly what it is and now there are a million books to check out. So I don’t love that. I’d still recommend this and will likely go back to it, but just know that it leaves a lot of threads dangling.

Dragon Ball 3-in-1 Vol. 3 by Akira Toriyama (Complete) This is a series I’m rereading during the pandemic and a few things stand out: I love that you can see Goku aging in the comics, the Red Ribbon Army is blaaaaaaand (but the underwater cave stuff is fun), and I LOVE the old crone/fight the universal monsters storyline. So basically this volume is 50% fine and 50% fantastic.

……….AUDIO……….

Calypso by Harry Belafonte (1956) You know that viral video of the happy trotting dog? Well since then I’ve been listening to Harry Belafonte and...more hits than misses!

……….GAMING……….

Hades (Supergiant Games) Alright I’ve made it out of hell...3 times? Not enough to really share with any pride but I’m still knee-deep in this game. Fun and perfect for a few minutes or a couple hours and hot dang I love Greek mythology.

Neverland: A Fantasy Role-Playing Setting (Andrews McMeel Publishing) The adventurers have been doing some mining and are now on their way to exchange their haul for a fallen star! Also the longer recap is on Reddit and is full of spoilers and more TTRPG details.

And that’s it! See you in March.

[provocativescribe]

John’s Movie List

This is a re-post of an original post from XXXFamilyFun (aka John Valjean) with flagged images removed.

One of the most common messages I receive is about good incest movies. I wrote a post that was fairly popular, which I will link to at the bottom of this post. But first, let’s revisit my criteria for a good incest scene in a movie:

Criteria #1: The guys should be good looking and they should look the part. There’s a scene in Falcon’s “The Dark Side” (2002) where Derek Cameron and Race Jensen play son and father, respectively, but Derek Cameron (who is definitely hot), looks too old to play the part of the son. Just by a few years.

Criteria #2: The actors need to play the part. Even if they only do it a few times, I need to hear a “fuck me Dad” or “take that dick, son” or else it just plays like any scene from any other movie.

Criteria #3: Set the scene up a little bit. I want to know why the father and son, brother and brother, or cousin and cousin are about to do some dirty business with each other. If the scene starts and we, as viewers, just learn that the guys having sex are family members, then it also just feels like a scene from any other movie.

Criteria #4: As you will see, it should probably be directed by Chi Chi LaRue.

Okay, so you know what I like, and that’s what you’ll find in most of the following movies (which are listed in no particular order):

“Brother to Brother” (All Worlds, 1996) Okay, Chi Chi LaRue’s “Brother to Brother” has a brother/brother scene that I have never made my way through. The guys just do not look like brothers and I don’t find it very hot. So why is it even on the list? Well, there is a scene where the brothers’ uncle (played by Drew Andrews) spies on the lads while they sleep in their tightie-whities. He’s so turned on by it that he pulls his nice long dick out and jacks off to the boys sleeping. Andrews plays the part perfectly, looking around nervously to make sure he doesn’t get caught and then wondering what to do with the cum he decided to spill in his hand. Eat it, of course! He gobbles it down with relish and it’s impossible not to cum to this incredibly hot scene! Just because it’s incest-lite doesn’t make it any less effective! (Director: Chi Chi LaRue)

“Father Figure” (All Worlds, 1999) I remember reading a review of this movie and the feeling bad about myself afterward. The writer said that the dialogue in the scene where the father (Sam Crockett) fucks the daylights out of his son (Stoney) left him squeamish. This was my favorite part. I thought, “Am I some sort of degenerate?” I eventually decided I wasn’t. In fact, I love when the characters embrace their parts and, holy fuck, does Crockett embrace his role as the father who pops his son’s young cherry! “Back into it, Boy!” he commands as he fucks his son senseless. If ever there was a go-to incest scene, this is the one for me. I hate that the production values are so cheap, but Crockett makes this a must-see scene for anyone who enjoys incest-themed porn. (Directors: Peter and Casey O’Brian)

“Fox’s Lair” (Studio 2000, 1995) Some of the sex in the final scene, where three muscle-bound brothers fuck each other, can be a bit drab, but the build-up to it is hot as hell. Steve Fox, Ty Fox, and Ryan Fox (they used to give the actors the same last names to continue the brotherly illusion) play three brothers exploring their sexuality are varying levels before the three of them flip-flop in the final scene. It’s definitely worth a watch because too many incest movies rely on pairings as opposed to multiple family members jumping in the sack! (Director: John Trennel)

“Family Secrets” (Jocks, 1996) I was torn on adding this movie to the list because it’s even more incest-lite than “Brother to Brother.” This one also features Crockett who goes to visit his cousin Jake Taylor (one of my all-time favorite pornstars). During the visit, the two men don’t come out to each other. That is until Taylor brings home some slutty pals and a hot forgy ensues. Crockett sucks off Taylor and the two make out, and that’s about it. I hope you can find the scene online and compare it to Crockett’s scene in Father Figure. The guy really gets into the part and adds a layer of filthiness that so many actors don’t bother to do when they’re in niche movies like this. (Director: Chi Chi LaRue)

“Here Cums the Bridegroom” (Private Man, 2007) If you follow my blog, then you have probably guessed that I am into straight guys who fall into gay sex (and fucking love it). If that’s also your bag, I think this movie will hold a special place in your heart. On the wedding day of the very hot groom (Glenn Santoro), he can’t help but fuck and get fucked by the members of his wedding party, his father-in-law, and his brothers-in-law. This video is hot as fuck. And it ends with an orgy of most of the participants from all of the previous scenes. It’s on the list because power-top brother (Lucio Maverick) fucks his power-bottom brother (Mario McCabe) enthusiastically while Santoro fucks another guy to their side! (Director: Tom Bradford)

“Ivy Blues” (Catalina Video, 1985) This one goes way back to the 80s, but the trip is worth it. Ricky Turner is home from college and ready to have some fun with whoever is closest. In this case, it’s his limo driver. When his brother (Michael Mann) comes home and sees what his brother is up to, he’s not at all disturbed. In fact, he decides to join the two and fucks his brother in the hot final scene! Mann, who went by a number of names back in the day, was one of the hotter performers at the time, so it was wonderful to see him topping his slutty little brother. (Director: William Higgins)

“Phoenix Rising” (Falcon Studios, 1999) I’d say this movie is a little more than incest-lite, but not much. Still, it’s worth a watch to see yummy Daddy Jason Branch fuck his rambunctious nephew (Tristan Paris) with the help of three domineering African-American studs. There’s some filthy dirty-talk between the uncle and nephew during their brief fuck scene, but it’s goddamn hot. It ends with Uncle Jason blasting a thick ball-busting hot load all over his dirty nephew’s young face! (Director: Chi Chi LaRue)

  “Roll in the Hay” (Jocks, 1994) Mark West and his sons entertain a group of city slickers. In the third scene, West and his son (Christian Fox) come upon ripped David Logan jacking off on their property. Not phased in the least, a threesome ensues which finds son going down on father and father going down on son. West was probably cast as the father because he had two modest crows feet, but that’s fine with me because he’s incredibly sexy. I get sent over the edge hearing him command, “Suck your daddy’s dick!” I’d have loved to see these two fuck because Fox was an enthusiastic bottom, but alas it was not meant to be. (Director: Chi Chi LaRue)

“Brothers and Other Fantasies” (All Worlds, 1999) Easily one of my all time favorite incest scenes. I’m not totally into twinks, but young Matt Bandero legitimately looks like Vince Bandero’s kid brother. Matt spies on Vince jacking off and a hot incestuous scene plays out where Matt comes in and sucks his big brother off as Vince stays wholly in character. “Have you been watching me fuck my girlfriend, Matt?” as the younger brother swallows Vince’s long cock. Look. This. Clip. Up. If you’re into incest, they do not get much better than this. Vince fucks his little brother wildly, even after he admits that Vince is too big for him to take. (Director Chi Chi LaRue).

“Spring Break” (Falcon Studios, 1988) Uncle Chad Douglas is sure his nephew, Cory Monroe, is down to fuck and wastes no time telling the boy what he wants in this Falcon 80s classic. Douglas knows exactly what he wants and he’s going to take it, blood relation or not! This scene is so hot because Douglas and Monroe are of a pair of hot performers who know how to put on a hell of a fiery performance. (Director: Matt Sterling)

“Bad Boys Get Spanked” (Channel 1 Releasing, 2007) This video has what is one of my favorite incest scenes from the last few years. I’m not sure how this didn’t make it on my initial list. A father (Brock Armstrong) has been summoned to his son’s (Tristan Sterling) school for a disciplinary meeting with a member of the faculty (Drake Jaden). Jaden suggests spanking as a method to punish the boy, who has been acting out on campus. Armstrong is immediately turned on and a hot, hot, hot threeway ensues in which all of the cast stay in character. Listening to Armstrong eat out his boy while his teacher watches will drive you wild, as will everything that comes after! (Director, Chi Chi LaRue)

“Bone Island” (Kristen Bjorn Video, 2004) Kristen Bjorn incorporated a fair amount of incest in his videos, with varying results. Sometimes the brothers/cousins don’t seem to act like they were related or the scene might just be the dud of the video. While the brothers (Diego Pastores and Guillermo Pastores) in this scene don’t fuck, they kiss and suck with passion. Diego and Guillermo are trespassing on the porch of Miguel Peron, who is about to call the police on the boys. When they beg him not to, he suggests the brothers suck him off. This scene is key to the video because the brothers have trepidation about what is about to unfold. Of course, they go for it and the scene is very hot. If you know Bjorn’s work (and I really hope you do!), you’re familiar with how well he choreographs his scenes and the plentiful and big cum shots he incorporates. Good luck making it through this scene without blowing a load of your own! (Director: Kristen Bjorn)

“Billy’s Tale” (Falcon Studios, 1993) This one is a Cinderella story in which you’re totally chill with how the step-siblings treat their put-upon brother. Billy (Chet Roberts) is forced to wait on his muscle-bound step-brothers (Trent Reed, Erik Houston, and Glenn McAllister), who apparently lie around and eat all day (though they have mysteriously fine bodies). When the brothers so chose, Roberts becomes their sexual plaything, but the scene moves past pseudo-incest as Houston goes down on McAllister’s fat dick and eventually eases his ass down on the beast. In the third scene, Jake Andrews shares the brothers, who are not shy about touching one another in front of strangers! (Director: Steven Scarborough)

“Grunts: Brothers in Arms” (Raging Stallion Studios, 2008) In this military fantasy about a “Gay Bomb” that turns straight men into oversexed gay animals is hot as hell, but I would have loved for the brothers in the film (Steve Cruz and Orlando Toro) to act a lot more like brothers! Make no mistake, their scene is hot! They fuck and suck passionately and Cruz is a very vocal bottom. However, it would have been so much hotter if Cruz had thrown in a couple of “fuck me, bro” or something to take the scene up a notch! The filmmakers get extra points for making sure Toro and Cruz look like twin brothers! (Directors: Chris Ward and Ben Leon)

“Joe Gage Sex Files 11: Doctors and Dads #2” (Dragon Media, 2012) Okay, how can you take a list like this without including Joe Gage, who, like LaRue, clearly has a knack for incest. Jake Steel is the father and Tyler Sweet is the son, in this scene that builds in a way that only Gage has mastered. Tyler is at the doctor after he hurts his nuts. His father, the campus coach, comes in to check in on his boy, who is wearing a hospital gown. Steel starts fondling his son slowly and the two share a number of intense glances and a few brief exchanges before Sweet is kneeling in front of his father doing what he does best. Steel and Sweet are another pair of strong performers who gloriously maintain the father/son illusion throughout the scene. (Director: Joe Gage)

“Raw” (All Worlds Video, 2004) The yummy Kent Larson is anxious Groom and Kyle Lewis is his sexy brother. You may also remember incredibly chiseled Lewis as the older brother in 2005’s “Little Brother’s Big Secret”. The scene in that film is hotter, but watching Lewis attempt to calm his brother’s nerves by fucking him shortly before he’s supposed to walk down the aisle is something to behold. Add to that, the bride’s hot brother (Jonathan West) joins in on the action halfway through the scene. (Director: Doug Jeffries)

“Fratrimony” (All Worlds Video, 1990) Jerry Douglas incorporated incest into many of his films, but none more so as this video featuring Tim Lowe and Butch Taylor as brothers who have the house to themselves for the weekend and begin to explore their sexuality in unexpected ways. The video is somewhat unique because it only features Lowe and Taylor. There are a few problems though. Taylor seems way too old to play a guy who’s fresh out of college and Lowe makes a shit-ton of weird faces when he cums and when he’s getting fucked. Still, the scenario is still hot and I usually don’t make it past the intial scene, which finds Lowe and Taylor jacking off together in bed. The two eventually jack each other off to completion. (Director: Jerry Douglas)

Just look at the gaze of pure lust Taylor gives Lowe. Douglas knew how to direct his actors.

I hope you enjoyed this new list of incest-themed videos! Sorry, I don’t have links to the movies! These are all from my private collection. The following is the link to the previous post:

Click here to find John Valjean’s long-form stories now exclusively at Smashwords!

[goforwardgreenwriter-blog]

The Worm Reads: Empire of Storms, Ch 1 - 2

 Book: Empire of Storms

Author: Sarah J. Mass

Ah, my dear readers, what can one say about SJM? While I do admit there is some value in a few of her books (I quite enjoyed the early t0g novels) to say her writing has stirred controversy is a bit of an understatement. There are arguments for and against why her series are problematic and toxic, why her world building is atrocious and her characters overpowered and unlikable, but I believe every author deserves a chance. Let’s see if we can give EoS a good fair shake to see whether it holds up or not, shall we?

The prologue of this book starts right off with Princess Elena Galathynius and her broad shouldered boy toy Gavin (we all know SJM does enjoy herself a broad shouldered man or two) angsting over the inevitable doom and deaths of their friends while planning to flee the battle to buy themselves more time. I won’t bore you with details; it’s separate from the main plot, short, and doesn’t offend me that much. Moving on!

Chapter One

The real story kicks off with Elide Lochan, a character from the previous novel, running through the woods. Elide was one of the few characters I found myself endeared towards, for her sweet yet strong personality and her relationship with Manon.

Weeks. It had been weeks since Manon Blackbeak and the Thirteen had left her in this forest, the Wing Leader ordering her to head north. To find her lost queen, now grown and mighty—and to also find Celaena Sardothien, whoever she was, so that Elide might repay the life debt she owed to Kaltain Rompier.

For those not aware, SJM is extremely found of em dashes. Like, she uses them a lot. I’m guilty of this too, but at least I have the sense to edit them out before publishing works! Also oof, I can smell Celaena gushing coming up.

Unfortunately, Elide had learned the hard way about what water to drink. Three days, she’d been near death with vomiting and fever after gulping down that stagnant pond water. Three days, she’d shivered so badly she thought her bones would crack apart.

While I like the imagery used here, since you get the full picture of how cold she was..... Shouldn’t the sentence be “For three days”? Just stating three days and what she was doing has no connection.

She’d run out of food a week ago and had taken to scavenging for berries. They were all foreign, but a whisper of a memory from her years with her nursemaid, Finnula, had warned her to rub them on her wrist first— to see if they raised any reaction.

I actually really like this, It shows Elide is smart, has a good memory, and is resourceful. SJM, please don’t mess her up.

Maybe she’d made a wrong turn. How would she know when she’d crossed Terrasen’s border, anyway? And how would she ever find her queen—her court?

Unghhhhh she doesn’t mean Aelin does she? If Elide is used only to gush and fangirl over what an amazing queen Aelin is I’m gonna be ill.

Elide hears wyverns flying by and hides, before realizing....

Not witches or wyverns or beasts. But someone—someone was watching her. Someone was following her.

Manon has come to sweep her girlfriend off her feet! Right...?

Lorcan Salvaterre had been running from those gods-damned beasts for two days now.

Oh god no.

Here’s the thing; I like Lorcan as a villain. He was a threat that at least made the main characters sweat a little in the previous novel, to my memory. Surely he will continue to be a villain, perhaps Elide’s main rival in this novel? After all we have a paragraph describing how he tortured and killed some witches, so surely-

He’d been hiding here first, listening to the clamor of [Elide’s] clumsy approach, and had watched her stumble and limp when she finally heard what swept toward them. She was delicately built, small enough that he might have thought her barely past her first bleed were it not for the full breasts beneath her close-fitting leathers.

I’M... SPEECHLESS. Why is that what Lorcan notices about her?? Not her mature vibe, perhaps the determination on her face, but her breasts? He doesn’t even know this girl!! Also, just because a girl has big breasts doesn’t mean she’s older. I know girls as young as 14 with huge breasts. And while I like that SJM does acknowledge periods, which so many YA authors act like they don’t exist, the focus of it here makes me... uncomfortable.

The demon-possessed girl limped up the streambed, that useless knife still out, her grip on its hilt wholly ineffective. Good. And so Lorcan began his hunt.

Oh, so maybe he is going to be an enemy during this novel? I’d read a showdown between them. Preferably with Elide outwitting and kicking his ass.

Chapter 2

Crouched beside the brook, empty skins forgotten on the mossy bank, Aelin Ashryver Galathynius extended a scarred hand over the rushing water and let the song of the early-morning storm wash over her.

*inhales* Oh Aelin. A character most hate, and one I just honestly don’t know. There’s times where I like how arrogant and show off she can be, but other times she aggravates me, mostly due to the whole lost queen thing. 

She breathed in the chill mists and fresh rain, dragging them deep into her lungs. Her magic guttered in answer, as if yawning good morning and tumbling back to sleep.

I actually like the way SJM describes magic, as if its its own sentient being that lives within its owner. Too bad there’s no magic system or anything actually done with this imagery. 

Across the brook, atop a mossy boulder tucked into the arms of a gnarled oak, a pair of tiny bone-white fingers flexed and cracked, a mirror to her own movements. Aelin smiled and said so quietly it was barely audible over the stream and rain, “If you have any pointers, friend, I’d love to hear them.”

The Little Folk illustrate my biggest issue with SJM; she comes up with cool fantasy concepts and characters, and never does anything with them. The Little Folk serve little purpose (ha), but I love them!! I love this scene with the Little Folk mirroring her movements. But I’m willing to wager SJM is never gonna bring them up again.

But they’d left small gifts just outside the border of Rowan’s nightly shields, somehow deposited without alerting whichever of them was on watch.

I’m stanning the Little Folk. They’re magic and skilled enough to outwit even Rowan and they bring them cute handmade gifts? Give me a Little Folk spin off.

Soggy leaves crunched behind her, and Aelin knew it was only because Rowan wanted her to hear his approach. “Careful, or they’ll leave something wet and cold in your bedroll next time.”

*inhales* Hoo boy, Aelin/Rowan time. This should be... interesting.

Strong hands slid over her waist, tugging her into his warmth, as Rowan’s lips grazed her neck, right under her ear. Aelin arched back into him while his mouth roved across her throat, heating mist-chilled skin. “Good morning to you,” she breathed.

And already they’re acting hornier than teenagers right now. Great. I mean, I’m not opposed to characters being in sexual relationships or expressing this, but God, these two take it waaaay too far. They think about sex 24/7 and it gets exhausting after a while. 

“If you want to take a bath so badly,” Rowan murmured against her neck, “I spotted a pool about a quarter mile back. You could heat it—for both of us.” She ran her nails down the back of his hands, up his forearms. “I’d boil all the fish and frogs inside it. I doubt it’d be very pleasant then.”

(...)

A dark laugh against her now-burning skin. It was an effort to keep from taking one of his hands and guiding it up to her breasts, to beg him to touch, take, taste.

Like, can we get them having a nice romantic moment without them being so sex hungry for once? I barely have any feel of a connection between them aside from the fact that they are DTF. I wouldn’t have an issue if this was an erotica novel, but this is supposed to be epic fantasy.

Aelin expositions about how they’re planning to meet some lords from Terrasen, and how Lorcan is under the impression that he has the real Wyrdkey. Hopefully this means we’ll be getting some awesome fantasy content soon.

He gave her a wry smile and aimed a pointed look at Goldryn, sheathed across her back, and the various knives strapped to her. “And besides: I thought ‘cloak-and-dagger’ was your middle name.” She offered him a vulgar gesture in return.

Wait, why is SJM censoring the middle finger? I’d understand if this was an actual YA novel, but this book has graphic sex scenes. Why can’t she write Aelin flipping someone off? Unless Aelin is doing some other hand gesture?

No matter that Aelin was the bearer of a weapon capable of wiping out this entire valley, along with the gray Staghorn Mountains watching over it. And that was just her magic.

*sigh* We get it SJM, Aelin is the most special powerful sorcerer to ever exist. 

“You trust nothing.” She met his eyes. “I trust you.”

If this was for a ship I liked, I’d be squealing with delight. But then the two of them proceed to make out yet again, and immediately the smile on my face dies as I am forced to yet again read paragraphs of Rowan forcing his tongue down Aelin’s throat.

So Aelin kissed Rowan gently, his hands again locking around her hips. “Fireheart,” he said onto her mouth. “Buzzard,” she murmured onto his.

Okay, I will admit. Couples having special nicknames for each other is one of my favorite tropes. I’ll admit, Aelin calling Rowan buzzard is kinda sweet if you ignored how shitty their relationship is.

Evangeline howled, “Fooooood!” Fleetfoot’s answering howl followed a heartbeat later. Then Lysandra’s snarl rippled toward them, silencing girl and hound.

Lysandra!!! Another character I loved. She is so strong and overcomes her abuser and her trauma to become a badass warrior, and plus she has girl friendship with Aelin! I’d read a series about Elide and Lysandra traveling around the world together.

When she looked back, Rowan was halfway to the camp, Evangeline’s red-gold hair flashing as she bounded through the dripping trees, begging the prince for toast and eggs.

....... eggs and toast? In the middle of the forest? Not what I’d expect, but alright.

And Aelin Galathynius, Queen of Terrasen, knew the time would soon come to prove just how much she’d bleed for Erilea.

Sure, sweetheart. Also, you’re not a queen yet. You haven’t been crowned or declared ruler officially.

We switch to Aedion’s POV. I suspect if SJM let him have a motive and personality outside of worshiping Aelin, he;d be a good character.

[Lysandra] had used these weeks of travel to try out new forms: birds, beasts, insects that had a tendency to buzz in his ear or bite him. Rarely —so rarely—had Lysandra taken the human form he’d met her in.

I love Lysandra. That is all.

[Aelin]’d grown quieter the farther north they’d traveled. Perhaps weeks on the road had sapped her. After tonight, depending on what the lords reported, he’d try to find her a quiet place to rest for a day or two before they made the last leg of the trek to Orynth.

Again, had this been any other characters, it’d be sweet of him to know his cousin so well that he knows when she’s tired and want her to rest. But like, Aedion’s entire character revolves around Aelin it’s tiresome.

“Darrow was your uncle’s lover,” he added, stretching his legs out before him. “For decades. He’s never spoken once to me about your uncle, but... they were very close, Aelin. Darrow didn’t publicly mourn Orlon beyond what was required after the passing of a king, but he became a different man afterward. He’s a hard bastard now, but still a fair one. Much of what he’s done has been out of his unfading love for Orlon—and for Terrasen. His own maneuvering kept us from becoming completely starved and destitute. Remember that.” Indeed, Darrow had long straddled a line between serving the King of Adarlan and undermining him.

Oooo, a LGBT character! Very nice! However, from that description of Darrow being a supposed bastard, I’m worried he might be the villain. Which wouldn’t be a problem if there were other LGBT characters, but since Darrow is the only confirmed one that comes to mind at current, this might turn out bad.

The flames pulled apart like drawn curtains to allow [Evangeline] and Fleetfoot, sensing the child’s fear and pressing close, passage to an inner ring that would not burn her. But would melt the bones of their enemies.

Um, why is that a fragment? Shouldn’t the phrase read, “(...) passage to an inner ring that would not burn her, but would melt the bones of their enemies”?

So they are startled by the arrival of a messenger and Rowan puts a knife to his throat. I’d understand if he did this until the messenger tells them who he is, but seriously? Keeping a blade at the guy’s throat? He’s the messenger of the people you want to be allies with!

Even as Rowan nudged him forward, that cruel knife still angled at his throat. Aedion jerked his chin at Rowan. “He can’t very well deliver the message with a blade at his windpipe.”

Lmfao it literally takes Aedion pointing this out for Rowan to chill out.

Her magic simmered in response. And that [amulet]—that hideous power hanging between her breasts—seemed to open an ancient eye at all the commotion.

Again, a nit pick, but why is SJM so fascinated with the amulet being between Aelin’s breasts? It seriously takes away from the impact of the sentence, which is trying to make the amulet sound dangerous but all I can think about is the amulet squished between her boobs. It would’ve been better to simply say the amulet around her neck or something.

So the messenger tells them the lords won’t be coming out to the forest, which is honestly understandable. They’re old and can’t travel as well as the younger characters, and it’s raining outside. 

So those were the first two chapters. Well, it isn’t too bad so far, but not great either. Honestly, I’m just weirded out by SJM’s focus on the women’s breasts. If this was an erotica novel, I’d have zero problems with it, but considering this book is supposed to be epic fantasy, it just pulls me out of the story every time it is focused on. But we’ll see if SJM can do better with the next chapters.

[sylviswann]

(names changed to protect privacy)

I used to be so infatuated on this boy named Rodel

It took me two years to move on

My closure started with a dream

And ended with this letter

(P. S. I didn't know what i was writing on 3 a.m. so i apologize for the cringe haha)

Mr. Rodel Rollon,

I am ready to let you go.

I used to be so happy that I stopped thinking about you when this quarantine started. Being distracted really did a lot of help on making me thinking that I was over you, that you were out of my system and my heart was ready for more opportunities of love in the world.

I consciously purposed myself to find for other people who can be my new crush in order to celebrate the end of my feelings for you.

But subconsciously, I kept thinking about how you started thinking about me since I confessed, if you still see me the same (probably not), and how you feel about me confessing.

If I was truly over you, I would have stopped worrying all this time and would've faced reality.

I guess i hadn't. I guess I was scared of being hated by the person that I like. And that really hurts.

But I thank God for this night.

I thank God for the 3 A.M. of the 10th of July where I dreamt that you wonder why I still hate myself for not being liked back when in fact that's life and that's normal, and that's truthfully okay.

I guess, after that dream, I found my subconcious ' truth I haven't seen a long time ago.

And I think, I am really ready to let you go. Wholly. Fully.

You will always be this handsome little dream boy that you are. You're madly handsome, you're crazy-ass talented and dedicated, you're selfless, you like a lot of good things which shows in the music you listen and the art you admire. Your flaws flatter you. You just have an open heart.

And I guess you were everything I've ever wanted, but along with that I wanted to be yours and you to be mine. And thinking about that now, I admit that I can be a little childish.

What a childish little fantasy. To want to be with a fantasy.

I mean, even talking with no figuratives involved, wanting to be in a relationship with someone so perfect as a basis is so dumb, like we don't even know if you like me back and if we're even compatible, much less you being straight. Can't believe I threw all those facts out my asshole HAHA.

To become depressed for the reason that someone you madly like doesn't like you back, was worth it. I'm glad it happened. Since then, I grew up. I've become significantly open than I was before. I learned that rejection doesn't define my self-esteem but is only more reason to love my self than hate me. I learned to let go of something so precious which seemed a million times impossible than it sounds. And I learned letting that unhealthy obsession on that precious gem I kept all this time as if it was a lifeline which seemed million times impossible, was not that impossible at all. The thought was the only face of fear, but the truth was ecstatic.

Again, you will always be this CUTE AS FUCK pretty little magic dream boy coated with love and perfection. And I can't force myself to unlove that. That's lovable and the world has just so many hidden treasures, that I can't believe I've found one. I'm glad I like you, glad I know I have taste.

And, I know the truth, which was hard to learn, that I don't need to have you. You may be perfect, but I don't need to be yours to be happy. Appreciating you is enough, and that's powerful.

I've come to peace with reality.

I used to measure my moving on process on the basis of the stages of grief, as I've once believed that this model also held the formula of letting go.

It starts with Denial

Compromise

Anger

Depression

Acceptance

I used to be jumping between anger and depression a lot. I was each emotion's ultimate whore, I humped on those dry asses sore.

It was all a chaotic process, and it wasn't linear at all.

But finally, I've reached the epiphany of closure. I didn't imagine that that model would end like this. On a dream. On a letter I won't even send.

I didn't know, that acceptance was sweet. That it was peaceful. That knowing the ugliest truth of being not reciprocated and be even disgusting (sUbjEctiVely), meant being okay with the truth, as those circumstances isn't the end of me at all.

But feeling all these, is a sweet little cupcake of joy. Partaken in small tidbits, but just the closure I needed.

Are you handsome? Heavenly.

Do you not like me? Yes, but you respect me.

Did it take a long time to accept that? Almost 2 years hun.

Is it okay that you don't like me? Definitely.

Will I still admire you? Yes, but I'm finally done obsessing over fantasies. Liking you with our realities is perfect.

Am I over you? I'm over the fact that I wanna be with you. It would've been crazy otherwise.

Am i even okay if you swept further away from me? Purely. I don't need your support to be happy.

Will it be okay? The future will tell me. And the future holds me. I've tasted the future's promise and I know that it will be.

Mr. Rodel, thank you. For being yourself.

You are one of a heck of character development and I'm glad I have learned.

Thank you for the ride. I'm glad I felt each swerve and feared each blind curve, and I'm happy I'm dropping off.

Really,

Thank you, Rodel.

Thank you a million.

And for that, Goodbye.

Overflowing with love,

Ricky

[mythopoeticreality]

For the book asks: 15, 17, 35, 48, and especially 50 :)

yeee!^^ Thank you so much for sending these! Now, let’s see…

15: What book changed your life? 

ohhh, hrmmm…this one is actually pretty difficult to answer now that I think about it? I mean I think that all of the books I’ve read – the really good ones that I am absolutely in love with, at least – have effected me on atleast some level or another, and the thing with the really big “Life Changeing” books I’ve read in my life is that they’ve all kind of lead into one another. Let me think…

Okay, so if we’re going in order here, I guess I’d have to begin with the Harry Potter books. I mean, seriously, these books were my childhood, much like they were for so many other people, and they’ve been so much a part of my life ever since I was, like, eleven, that I can’t really even say the full extent of how much these books have changed my life. I’ve grown up with these characters after all, learning the same lessons they were learning and letting their adventures shape my view of the world as they went through them. I can’t imagine what my life would have been without these books.

What I can say is that these are the books that first really got me interested into the fantasy genre, and – especially after I’d read the fourth book – dragons. Okay, this one’s kind of embarrassing to admit to because it isn’t even a particularly original or even well written book but the next book that really changed my life was..well…Eragon by Christopher Paolini. Yeah, so, here’s the thing, I was pretty young when I first picked this book up and began reading it, and I became kinda obsessed. xD I hadn’t actually read much in the way of fantasy at the time and this book, oh this book was full of all of these ideas that fascinated and enchanted me: an epic fight against an powerful, evil king; Tall,beautiful elves who were so full of wisdom and magic; gruff dwarves who were awesome at making things; magical languages with true-names for everything that you couldn’t lie in; and above all, telepathic dragons and  society of knights that rode them and kept the peace.  Okay, yeah, so the book was basically a trope-fest, but all of these ideas were new to me at the time and they immediately sucked me in. And I wanted more. And so I went on the internet, and began looking for anything related to Eragon that I could find. Eventually I stumbled on this roleplay forum, and I was like, “Wait, I can make a character that lives in this world? And I can actually write out their adventures in it?” I signed up that night, and my time on that forum was my first real experience in writing. At the same time that year I began my first serious attempts at writing a novel, which was, yes, about a group of Dragon Riders trying to protect the world from Great Evil™ *ahem* So yeah. Eragon was what really got me into writing in the first place. Since then, I’ve kind of fallen out of love with the series, around the time books 3 and 4 came out I found them rather rambling and directionless, and I’ve definately found several problems with the first and second books after going back and re-reading them, but the first book, Eragon itself, will always hold a special place in my heart because of what it has given me.

Aaaand then we get to the big one. If you spend even ten seconds looking at my tumblr, you can probably guess which book I’ll be talking about here.Tolkien’s books and especially The Silmarillion took up so much of my life as a teenager (and still do even to today). Tolkien is what got me into metal ( real jump into fandom and I’ve met so many great people through this fandom. Tolkien had effected my views on words and language, on stories and creation, on the world in general. Tolkien’s works are to me now what Harry Potter was during my childhood. I can’t imagine what my life would be without Middle-Earth.

 17: If you owned a bookshop what would you call it? 

It’s funny, because I’ve actually fantasized about owning a bookshop before, but…I’ve never actually thought about what I’d name it? xD yeah..so. Hrmmm…I want to say I’d name it something terribly clever and nerdy, maybe a reference to a famous library from literature or history (Hurtfew Books? Alexandria Books?) But then I’d probably worry about no one getting it, or even worse thinking I was being really clever when I wasn’t at all, and so I’d probably end up going with something simpler and more to-the-point.

35: Name a book you consider to be terribly underrated

The Books of Pellinor series by Alison Croggon only has five fics on Ao3 :/

 Alright, these books are just some of my favorites. They have everything I love in them: epic fantasy, and bards, and world building, and alien fae-like beings with morals unlike those of mortal men. These books…oh, how to I explain it? They have the feeling of a Tolkien book, with all of the high beauty, wide, epic scope and beautiful linguistic style, while still remaining a story wholly of it’s own. Seriously, if any of this sounds good to you, you should go read these books.

48: Where is your favorite place to read?

Curled up in the corner of the couch beneath a blanket. Preferably with it raining outside. ;)

50: Why do you love to read?

I love to read for the same reason I love to write. I love stories. I love getting into another person’s mind in a way that is so intimate, and that I could never do in any other way. I love the ability that books give you to see new sights and experience things through other people’s point of view. I love the way books can reach into the deepest parts of you and make you hurt or laugh or feel fear or relief. I love how books allow you to escape from yourself, for just a while. I love breading because I love stories, and stories are powerful things.

[oneweekoneband]

ALL THE WAY ACROSS TOWN: Contributor’s Roundtable

The very first decision I made about this week (before, in fact, Hendrik had even given me the go ahead) was that if I was going to do it, I wasn’t going to do it alone. Part of that was self-preservation: Green Day are a massive band, with a three-decade-long career and insurmountable amounts of energy. It’s a lot for one person to tackle. Even between the five of us, we’ve barely managed to scratch the surface.

But more than that, there was this nagging feeling that’s only grown more powerful over the course of this week, that it would really just be a shame if only one person wrote about Green Day. They belong to everyone. They’re there for the people who need them, when they need them, for whatever they need them for. Yes, they mean the world to me. The thing is, they probably mean the world to you, too.

So I put out the call on Twitter and my blog (restricting it somewhat to my circle of acquaintances by doing so, unfortunately, but this did make me more comfortable with asking in the full knowledge that I wouldn’t be able to pay any contributors for their work), and I got lucky: most of the people I was secretly hoping would offer to write about Green Day did just that. And, oh man, did they write. I can’t express how proud I am to have been able to give those pieces a platform, and to have myself and my writing associated with them and their writers. I was so impressed with the generosity and honesty of everyone’s writing that I wanted to hear more, and so I suggested the idea of a roundtable, where we could all come together to talk about our mutual topic: Green Day. This is the result.

All of us, this week, have touched on notions of belonging and acceptance in our pieces. There’s been an undertone, throughout, of the notion of Green Day as a safe space of some sort - whether it be for kids to start to figure themselves or the whole punk rock business out, or in the crowd at gigs, or as not-male or not-straight music fans. Do any of you have any more (or more specific) thoughts about this? Is this a feature of Green Day’s music, or the band themselves, or something else entirely? (Despite my piece on punk, I know it’s not as simple as that, as I’ve been in more than one punk space and met more than a few punks who made me feel unsafe - there’s a difference between ideal and reality, always.) What is it that makes a band feel “safe”?

KJ:  I think I thought of Green Day as a supportive space for all sorts of people who were different, and therefore avoided owning up to liking them because I didn't want to be thought of as different? Thankfully, I've gotten over that.

Jessie:  For me, it’s a combination of factors. Some of it has to do with the punk thing. Green Day weren’t the first punk band I heard--that honor goes to another East Bay band, Operation Ivy--but sometimes I call Green Day my first punk band because it was around the time I first heard them that I started thinking of punk as an identity. I have definitely felt unsafe in punk spaces/around certain punks, and I guess Green Day sort of represented some utopian ideal of punk as this super welcoming club for nerds, freaks, and outcasts. I’m not sure why that is--maybe because of the scene they came out of, or maybe, because I said in my piece on “She,” it felt like they understood what it was like to be freaks and outcasts. Which leads into the second reason they felt safe to me, and that was entirely about their music. I was being bullied pretty much constantly during the time when I first heard them, and it just felt like they understood that. Like they’d been there. I mean, Dookie had a song (“Having A Blast”) about getting revenge on the people who bullied you. (More on that song later.) The third reason they felt safe to me is a very personal one, and it may sound weird, but--they felt safe to me because I didn’t have a crush on any of the band members. From the age of 12 to around 17 (or maybe even older, but that would lead into some topics that are beyond the scope of this roundtable), I usually ended up getting a crush on at least one member of every band I liked. I mean sexual fantasy-type crushes. And I was sort of terrified of my burgeoning sexuality (for many reasons). But with Green Day, I thought of them more like cool older brothers than people I wanted to get with, and that made them feel safer to me than a lot of other bands.

Jacqui: Jessie, I’ve never even thought about it the way you put at the end there, but now that you have I completely agree. I’ve also never had a crush on any of them, and it does make a difference. There’s something a lot safer about wanting to swap guacamole recipes with Mike, for instance, than ever having been properly attracted to him would have been. 

Alice:  It was much the same for me, though I think Green Day was my first punk band (or, possibly, The Offspring). But Green Day also was sort of a gateway drug, in terms of pop punk, and I think that in so many ways the pop punk scene of the early-to-mid-2000s was my safe space. It’s like we’ve said, that punk in reality isn’t always the safe space it is supposed to be - and of course, it is different for everyone and we are ignorant, of certain things, when we’re young. But when I was growing up, in Alabama, there weren’t many spaces for me. The pop-punk boom/resurgence of the 2000s was a saving grace, I think. Those bands - Green Day, My Chemical Romance, Fall Out Boy, etc. - and the people I met through them, mostly online, became a huge part of the ways in which I reckoned with myself and my identity. Between “Well, maybe I’m the faggot America / I’m not a part of the redneck agenda” and Bert McCracken (of The Used) wearing a shirt that said “Gay is OK”, I felt included and comforted by these group of weird punk misfit dudes.

This is perhaps a corollary to the above: as far as I know, everyone who’s written for this week is, in some way or another, not-straight. One of my favourite things ever written about Green Day, Cristy Road’s coming out memoir Spit and Passion, is also, obviously, written by a not-straight woman. I know that when I think of Green Day, I think of a band that is Not A Straight Band, in smaller ways and larger ones (I’m thinking of Billie Joe, of course, and of certain lyrics, and safe spaces, again, and of the secret-community like collection of “Coming Clean” tattoos I’ve seen over the years). What do you think?

Jessie:  I don’t know why so many not-straight people are into Green Day, but it certainly does seem to be true. I didn’t know that Billie Joe identified as bi until way after I got into the band, but when I found out I was like “Hell yeah! Yet another reason to love them!” Dookie came out the year I realized I was bi (though it would be another four years or so before I actual felt wholly comfortable with that label), and though there were no explicitly queer songs on it, it goes back to what I mentioned above--so many Green Day songs seem to speak to that sense of being an outcast, being lonely, being bullied, and one of the things that made me an outcast and that I was bullied about was my sexual orientation and gender expression. Another theory as to why so many not-straight folks love Green Day: they are not an uber-macho band. Billie Joe has often been seen wearing makeup, nail polish, even dresses; I’ve seen Tre in eyeliner, too, and he’s just sort of goofy-looking (I mean that as a compliment!). Mike is probably the most ‘masculine’-looking of the band members, but even he is not some meathead. There are just so many rock and punk bands that are so so into the whole machismo, look-at-me-I’m-a-man thing, and Green Day are not one of them and it’s great.

Cat: So, haha, funny story, Billie Joe is sort of the reason I admitted to myself that I liked girls. I mean, God knows every single person in my life knew I wasn’t straight, I was bullied for it relentlessly from the ages of eight to eighteen, but I was really terrified of this idea of “not being normal”. Small town, small school, white picket fences and 2.5 kids - I had this really clear idea that there was a Right way to live your life, which was “how everyone else was living it”, and that there was a Wrong way. And then I read that Advocate interview - which I was so happy to find again in your post about Coming Clean, Alice! - and Billie Joe says there, I think everybody is born bisexual, I think everybody fantasizes about the same sex. Which I disagree with as a point of view these days - but at the time, it was exactly what I needed to hear, to understand that my thoughts and feelings about girls weren’t just a random fluke that I needed to suppress. And then later I was able to move into a more mature standpoint, i.e., “oh, it doesn’t actually matter if this is normal or not, it’s okay anyway”, and also, “oh, I’m actually way more into girls than guys.” But I really, really needed that Advocate interview to get me to that place.

Alice: Thanks, Cat! Yeah, as I mentioned in my piece, I didn’t read The Advocate interview until much, much later. But I read it - when I was seventeen - exactly when I needed to read it. I don’t think that I ever connected Green Day, and the ways in which their music always meant so much to me,  to my being gay until that moment. It was a moment of satisfaction, reassurance, almost. Like oh this is maybe why they always felt like home to me.

KJ:  I have a very vivid memory of frantically late-night Wikipedia-ing a “list of bisexual celebrities” and feeling utterly relieved when I saw Billie Joe’s name. Like, if this guy who I looked up to could be bi, so maybe could I? Not for the first or fifteenth time, I thought about starting a band.

[ continued under the cut ]

We’ve also talked a lot about what Green Day meant to us, about our memories of the band and their songs, simply by virtue of this week being a retrospective of their career. Have your feelings changed, in the present? Do they mean/are they the same band to you now as they used to be?

Jessie: Green Day have drifted in and out of my life. They’ve grown as I have and sometimes I’ve needed them and other times I haven’t. It’s like they’re old friends who I sometimes go years without speaking to, but when we run into each other we pick up where we left off. Some of their albums have come out exactly when I needed to hear them, others have grown on me, others I’ll probably never be that into. But they’ll always mean a lot to me because of the things we went through together (to stretch that “old friends” metaphor), and I adore Revolution Radio--I think it’s their best album since American Idiot.

Cat: I mean, part of it’s just going to be the usual punk problem, i.e., American Idiot was the most important album of my entire life, it defined everything in my life, it was my constant soundtrack and the only thing that explained the world, and then Obama was elected president.

And then Trump was elected president! And suddenly it’s - not the most important album in the world, the Bush era was very specific and unique and I need slightly different content from my punk for 2017, but it means more to me than it did in 2010. It’s like cicadas, it comes out of the earth to scream every 16 years.

KJ:  Funny enough, I was up at my parents’ house the week before this OWOB started and my mother still uses the one mix tape I made her in high school as her alarm clock cd. So, while I'm thinking about Green Day and Having Some Real Feelings, out of nowhere comes the strains of “Good Riddance (Time of Your Life),” my mom's only acceptable Green Day song (all others deemed too noisy). So in a way, Green Day is less a rebellious sound and more a coming home, to me, now.

Is there anything else you wish you’d had the space to say about Green Day? Another song you wanted to cover, maybe, or a story or observation or thought that wouldn’t fit in any of your pieces?

Jessie: There is so, so, so much more I could say. A lot of thoughts and ideas came up over the course of this week. One thing I thought of that I eventually want to explore further is about “Having A Blast.” That song came out before Columbine, and I wonder if it sounds different to people who heard it for the first time after that. I wonder if that song could even be written now. In 1994, it sounded like a harmless way to vent about being bullied, a way to get our your anger without actually hurting anyone. Now that people have actually taken those feelings beyond the realm of fantasy, that song sounds a lot darker. 

Alice: Only that we really, really should have planned for a second roundtable, just to discuss Green Day’s cover of Eye of the Tiger.  

More seriously, I am a bit sad I wasn’t able to write a piece about the musical (sorry Jacqui!) - I had the chance to see it when it opened and it remains, to this day, the only Broadway show I’ve ever bought full price orchestra tickets for. It wasn’t perfect, but sitting in a Broadway theatre between people my age who had obviously been with the band since the beginning and women in their 60s and 70s who still wore gowns to the theatre - and seeing that they were both equally happy to be there - that was a really special moment for me.

KJ:  Oh man, eye of the Tiger! Ditto their “I Fought the Law” cover. Basically, I guess we should have luxuriated in covers.  

Jacqui: I know that I, personally, avoided covers this week because there was already so much to say about their original work. But if I had gone in that direction, it would have been “Working Class Hero”. One of the major ways I had of connecting with my dad was through music - a good 75% of the stuff I know about rock history, still, came from him - and this song and really the whole benefit album it was released on was an actual, tangible bridge between us (I have this incredibly fond memory of waiting for me just inside the door when I came home from school one day, bursting with the need to tell me that “Justin Timberlake is really talented, actually”). I’d also want to talk about the difficulties and complications of things like benefit albums, probably, and about Green Day’s activism in general.

Finally, is there anything you want to say to each other (or me) - responses to posts, questions you want to ask, etc?

Cat: I get the feeling I’m a lot younger than a lot of you - was born in ‘95, Bush’s election is my first real political memory, and you guys talk about American Idiot and the Iraq War and the ‘00s as things you experienced as people who were coming of age, not young kids. Do you all think that makes a difference? Do you need to be a certain age to appreciate Dookie in a certain way, for example? Also, jeez, y’all have been incredible, I’m so honored to be part of a week with such amazing and thoughtful writers for such an amazing and thoughtful band.

Jessie: Hmm, I don’t know if it’s an age thing. I will say that I’m probably the oldest one here--I was born in 1981!--but I know people who are 10-12 years younger than I am who heard Dookie as adolescents and loved it just as much as I did. So maybe it depends more on who you are/what your life was like when you heard it than on your actual age. 

I don't really have any questions for any of you, but I’ve thoroughly enjoyed being part of this as well. All of you are amazing writers and I’ve loved reading your different perspectives on Green Day. Also, I’m working on a long essay-thing about Dookie (I’ve been mapping it out for about a month already!), and I may want to interview some of you for it, if that sounds like something you’d be interested in.

Alice: I certainly don’t think you need to have been a certain age to appreciate Dookie - like I’ve said, my mother loves early Green Day and she turned 65 this year. But I do think perhaps you’re right about American Idiot, not that it doesn’t hold meaning for people who were too young to remember 9/11 or people who were well into adulthood. But, I was born in 1990 and so my “coming of age” period was literally when Bush got elected. I very much remember watching the towers fall. And, as someone who had the questionable delight of meeting him personally, I certainly remember George Bush. There aren’t words for how important that album was, in that moment in time. Waking up when you’re eleven years old and realizing that world had suddenly and completely changed, and for reasons you don’t really understand - well. Music helped with that, it helped a lot. So, again, not that it didn’t or couldn’t mean the same to someone a bit younger than me (it obviously did!) but for someone who came of age in Obama’s America? I don’t think it’s possible to really get the very specific - and bleak, angry, defiant - zeitgeist American Idiot captured.  

I don’t have any questions either, but like Jessie I wanted to thank you all so much for this! I love doing One Week One Band and I loved it even more doing with it with y’all! And thank you Jacqui for facilitating this. It’s been an absolute blast.  

KJ: Just want to thank Jacqui for the opportunity to write about and come to terms with my Green Day fandom. (I don't think my therapist was...intending? To discuss a pop punk band for 30min this week?) Also re: age, it really doesn't matter, as there are many accessible avenues to Green Day. (Thatsaidamericanidiotisclearlythebestfightme.)Thanks again!

Jacqui: Jessie, I would be absolutely delighted if you decided to interview me, and am going to take a second right now to beg you to let me know when that essay goes live regardless, because I will definitely want to read it. I’ve left your mention of it in, here, so that people will know to keep an eye out for it!

I agree that age doesn’t matter when it comes to getting into Green Day, or even understanding them - there’s a difference between remembering a specific point in time and understanding or finding your own meaning in what came out of it, and I think that’s true of all art. Whatever you love, whatever sparks a feeling of recognition in you, that’s yours and no one can take that feeling away from you. That said, I do think there’s a difference in types of understanding when it comes to huge, world-shaping events like watching the towers fall (or, more positively: the development of the internet and its ability to facilitate both music sharing and community building.) Basically, I agree with Alice. No one is surprised.

Thank you so much again, everyone. It really has been a delight, and a privilege. I’ll be making a round up post that re-introduces you all and collects your contributions to end the week.

[captain-zajjy]

Solstice, Chapter 8 - A Final Fantasy XV Story

Pairing: Ignis x Female Original Character

AO3 | Chapter 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

A/N: Double posting today with the most miserable updates. This chapter has a warning for male on female (physical) violence.(ಠ_ಠ)

“Valeria Soleil?”

Valeria looked up from her phone to see two Imperial soldiers standing over her. They weren’t ones she recognized, but then, most of the rank-and-file Imperial military always wore full-face helmets.

“What?”

“We need you to come with us.”

Valeria paused for a moment, cocking her head. She hadn’t received work from Loqi in days, not since the High Commander had shown up. He usually didn’t send people to retrieve her like this, but perhaps with all the bigwigs present in Insomnia, he was busy with other things. She’d actually been hoping to meet with him, to try to suss out if he knew anything about what had happened to Felix.

So, she set her phone aside on her bunk and followed the two men through the relief camp - not to the entrance, as usual, but to one of those small tents where she’d been interrogated about Noctis’s whereabouts on the first day. Valeria narrowed her eyes, but got nothing from the metal-clad faces of the soldiers in return. What is this?

The man Ravus had introduced - Caligo Ulldor was his name, she recalled - stood inside, waiting for her.

“Have a seat, Miss Soleil,” he said.

Valeria regarded him warily, but did as she was asked, sitting on the narrow stool in the center of the small tent.

“Is there something I can help you with, sir?”

“Oh, yes.” Caligo smiled, a predatory look akin to an animal baring its teeth. “I believe you can.” He handed her a piece of paper and Valeria looked it over, her stomach plummeting to the floor. It was a photocopy of the form she'd used to identify the body of Ignis’s uncle.

“That’s you, isn’t it?” Caligo pointed to her name on the form. Valeria didn’t know why she tried to keep her expression neutral - her hands, her knees, every part of her was trembling so badly that she’d already given herself away. She tried to take several deep breaths, tried to slow her racing heart, as she gave the barest of nods.

“Scientia…” Caligo’s dark eyes glowed like a wolf’s in the lamplight. “That’s a foreign name, isn’t it?” When Valeria said nothing, he went on. “You must have known this man fairly well to identify his corpse.”

Valeria shook her head. “He was...he was just a friend of my mother’s. I didn’t know him well at all.”

“Hmm.” Caligo paced the small area in front where she sat, the fingers on his left hand idly rubbing the back of the cast on his right. “Awfully strange to identify the body of a man you barely know. Unless…” He stopped suddenly, looking her in the eye. “You’re close with one of his relations. Someone nearer to your age, perhaps.”

He already knows everything. That much was clear from the way he was grinning at her, from the little show he was putting on with all his questions. It was probably fun for him, watching her squirm. He already knew everything, but she would never give him the satisfaction of admitting it out loud.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Valeria said flatly.

“Oh, I think you do.” Caligo dropped a book in her lap, awkwardly flipping to a dog-eared page with his left hand. She had no idea how the Niffs had managed to get their hands on a copy of the Academy yearbook from half a decade ago, but here it was.

And here on the page was a photo of herself and Ignis walking through the Academy courtyard: him in those squarish glasses he used to wear, a bloom of teenage acne marring his cheeks, and her with her books clutched to her non-existent chest, with all the curves of a flagpole. Beneath the photo was some insipid caption about catching the class’s top students on a rare study break.

“Ignis Scientia.” For a moment, Caligo’s smiling mask faltered, revealing something far darker, cold and angry, beneath. “He serves the Crown Prince.” This time, it wasn’t a question.

“This was a long time ago,” was all Valeria could say, tears threatening to spring from her eyes. She was already dead; now it was only a matter of how slow and painful it would be.

“And yet, you must have spoken to him recently about his deceased family member.” Caligo leaned forward until his face was inches from hers, black gaze boring holes in her skull. “Did Scientia tell you what he did to me?” he hissed, his breath a hot stream of pure venom. “Was he proud of his little interrogation?”

Valeria’s eyes drifted down toward the thick cast on Caligo’s right hand. Iggy, she thought, what did you do? Strangely emboldened by the sudden break in his composure, Valeria fixed him with the same apathetic look she’d received from every Imperial since the war began.

“This is war, Commander. And in war, there are casualties.”

Caligo snatched the book from her lap and used it to smack her across the face. Valeria fell from her seat, blinking back stars and tears, too shocked to cry out from the pain.

“War ?” Caligo thundered. “You are but children, playing at war!” He wrenched her up to her knees by the arm, only to slap her across the face once more, this time with his cast - the thick plaster hitting her like a hammer.

“Where is the Prince?” he demanded.

Valeria laid where she had fallen, tasting blood, unabashedly sobbing. Is this really how it ends? She would’ve rather the Magitek Troopers gunned her down that first night.

Caligo went to grab her again when the tent flap swung open, harsh sunlight stinging her eye that wasn’t already half-swollen shut. Black boots and black armor were all she could see.

“Uhh…” Somewhere, beneath all her terror and pain, the rational part of her recognized that voice. Loqi Tummelt. “You make it a habit of beating on women, Ulldor?”

“Brigadier Commander Ulldor,” Caligo said through clenched teeth.

“Tch…” Loqi paused, shuffled his feet. “Fine. You make it a habit of beating on women, sir?”

“This woman is a conspirator with the Crown Prince.” Caligo violently shook her by the shoulder, the one that she’d been shot in, and Valeria couldn’t help but whimper as pain resurfaced in her old wound. “She knows where he is.”

Valeria caught Loqi’s gaze; he didn’t seem overly concerned with her plight, just wearing that same, vague expression of boredom that he always had. Help me. She implored him with her eyes. Please.

Before he could do or say anything, Caligo shouted at her again. “Where is the Prince?” When Valeria didn’t answer, when Loqi didn’t come to her rescue, Caligo knocked her back down, the right side of her face already so swollen and numb that she barely felt the blow. But she did feel the kick to her ribs, causing her to cough and gag, to instinctively curl in on herself as his boot rammed into her side over and over until she was unable to breathe.

“Hey, Ull-” Loqi cleared his throat. “Uh, sir...you know we still need her, right?”

The question was enough to earn Valeria a brief reprieve, and she gasped for air, writhing on the cool ground.

“What?” Caligo barked.

“Well, yeah,” Loqi replied. “We still have to get the power back in the other sectors, and she’s about all that’s left of the original power company.”

“Do you really think anyone gives a damn about the electricity in this Gods forsaken city?” Caligo sneered. “The Emperor wants the Prince. Dead.”

“Well, I was put in charge of the power, so...I give a damn.” Loqi paused a moment before adding, “Sir.”

If Valeria could have, she would have used their argument to run - better they shoot her down than slowly beat her to death. But as it was, she could only crawl feebly, in so much pain that she could barely see straight, let alone devise any means of retreat.

“Look.” Loqi dropped his voice, although Valeria could still make out what he was saying. “She’s no soldier. If you were going to beat it out of her, I think you would’ve by now. Kill her here, now, and we both fail.”

“What are you getting at?” Caligo snapped.

This time, Loqi whispered so low she couldn’t hear his words, only an urgent, conspiratorial hissing. Her fate, her future, in the hands of two men who saw her as nothing but a means to an end.

“Fine,” Caligo finally said, not sounding very pleased. “But if this doesn’t work, Tummelt...”

Loqi shrugged. “Tear her apart.”

Before she could even wonder what they were talking about, the two men left the tent, swiftly replaced by a pair of Magitek troopers.

“No, no, no...” Valeria tried to crawl away, but they scooped her up anyway, wholly unbothered by her squirming protests, and carried her through the camp to the first aid station.

Valeria collapsed on the nearest cot as the MTs retreated, leaving her alone with the medic in charge.

“Oh, geez, uh...” The medic cleared his throat. “I, uh, I need to examine you-” Valeria flinched when he touched her shoulder. “Sorry! Um, did that hurt, or...?”

Valeria swallowed all the blood and phlegm at the back of her throat and turned to look at him, realizing belatedly that it was the same kid who’d tended to her stitches while in training. That he was a familiar face didn’t bring her any comfort at the moment.

“Hi,” the medic said, giving her an awkward smile more akin to a grimace. “You’re hurt, so...” He touched her hand, then gently pulled it away from the battered side of her face, sucking in a sharp breath through his teeth.

“Okay, let’s see here...I need to check for broken bones, administer analgesic, steroids to reduce the swelling...” He continued to mutter to himself as he went through drawers, pulling out various tools and medicines.

Valeria sat on the cot, unable to stop crying, even though it pained her face and bruised ribs. You’re not dead, she tried to tell herself, but it didn’t help. She wasn’t safe either.

The medicus prodded at her injuries, apologizing profusely when she yelped in pain, and assured her no bones were broken. “I’m going to need to give you stitches,” he said.

“W-what?” Valeria looked down and realized the hand that had been clutching her face was covered in blood. Her left eye and cheek were so painful and swollen, and she was in so much shock, she hadn’t even realized that one of Caligo’s blows had broken the skin.

“Just a few.” The medicus, despite his obvious inexperience, was actually a steady hand when it came to patching her up, weaving his little needle in and out of the broken skin below her left eye.

“Whatever he wants,” the medicus said quietly, eyes trained on his work, “you should just give him. Trust me.”

Valeria would have frowned, but it was too painful. Was this some kind of ploy to wheedle the information out of her by showing her kindness? No, she told herself. This kid hadn’t even been able to look at her bra without blushing profusely - and now she was wondering if he was some kind of master spy? You’re losing it.

“I think you’re the first one he’s actually sent back,” the medicus said, applying a small bandage over her face.

Valeria gripped his wrist, forcing him to look her in the eye. “You mean, he’s been taking others? Have you seen a kid, about fourteen? He disappeared last week.”

“Huh?” The medicus shook his head. “No, uh, this started a couple days ago. He...” Again, the medicus shook his head, then turned his face away from her. “You should just do what he says, okay?”

With that, the young man sent her off, and, barely able to walk, Valeria had little choice but to return to her bunk, barely aware of the way the others were staring at her, whispering as she collapsed onto her cot.

He’s not done with you. Valeria didn’t quite understand why he’d let her go, but it was clear that now that Caligo Ulldor was onto her, he wouldn’t be satisfied until she gave him the information he wanted or had beaten her face to a bloody pulp.

Too exhausted and traumatized to formulate any sort of plan, Valeria pulled the blanket over her head, clutched her mother’s wedding ring to her chest, and cried herself to sleep.

[jbuffyangel]

Misfire: Arrow 5x13 Review (Spectre of the Gun)

This isn't going to be a typical review because, honestly, I don't even know what to do with this episode.  (Thanks for the gif suggestion @lipstickandwifi)

Let's dig in...

Everyone except Thea Queen

Back in the day, when television shows had "very special episodes" it served as a time out. The show would depart from their usual format and address a serious issue in present day society. For example, a "friend" would offer Punky Brewster drugs, forcing her to stop joking around and face a crisis. She would wonder what to do until Mrs. Reagan showed up at her front door to tell her, "Just say no." Mrs. Reagan would provide a concrete avenue to address Punky's problem and a solution to them as well.  All's well that ends well. We could go back to our regularly scheduled slapstick comedy routine next week.

"Spectre of the Gun" isn't that. Television has evolved past the kind of “very special episodes” I described above, but that doesn’t mean the endeavor is always successful. While I admire Arrow for attempting to address a relevant social issue, the episode fails on multiple levels for me for multiple reasons. It is uneven, contradictory, and characters acted out of character to become mouthpieces for political ideologies. I don't feel Arrow adds anything new to the discussion and, even worse, I don't think they offer any solutions as we move forward.

Is Arrow the right show to address gun violence? Well... yes and no. Certainly yes because gun violence is so prolific on the show, but also no for the exact same reason.  As James Edlund begins shooting up the mayoral office, and the camera closes in dramatically on the carnage he leaves in his wake, I found myself asking, "How is this violence any different than the violence we've seen in the other 112 episodes?"

The answer is simple. There isn't any difference, but this is a "very special episode" of Arrow, so now they are going to address it as an issue. But next week we'll go right back to dropping bodies with guns.

So, I do take issue with Oliver Queen hopping up on his moral high horse about gun control. I don't think he is the right character to voice that side of the debate. In anything it should be Oliver who is the silent character, while perhaps other characters like Felicity (a victim of gun violence), could argue for the gun control.

Why do I say this? Because I watched Oliver drop 12 men, without a second thought, with a gun last week during a flashback. He broke someone's neck in the premiere. 

Oliver is a killer and he's embraced that side of himself again. He's going to kill when necessary and he will determine the terms of that necessity. Not the law. I've had a beef with this for awhile, so anyone who reads my reviews on the regular won't be shocked by this attitude. I find this whole "gray zone" particularly frustrating because Arrow willfully ignores an easily achievable middle ground: Lian Yu and the ARGUS prison that holds Slade. 

Why can't we use that again? Oh that's right. Because we're not at the end of the fifth season. Sigh.

"That's not your call to make."

Oliver argues with Edlund that despite his anger and pain he does not have the right to decide who lives or dies. The Green Arrow finds himself in a similar moral debate with The Vigilante after he guns down a criminal Oliver tied up and interrogated.

"I'm you. The only difference between us is I use a more efficient weapon."

Here's the problem. Oliver is making life and death decisions on a nightly basis. He has elected himself judge, jury and executioner. 

Is killing only okay when Oliver does it? Is he the only one who has the corner on life and death decisions? Isn't Prometheus’ entire beef with Oliver that he cannot see his own hypocrisy? Yes, of course, and that is the problem in "Spectre of the Gun." While Oliver is willing to address gun violence, he isn’t willing to address his own history of violence. When the hero makes you think the Big Bad has a point, you've got yourself a narrative issue.

Perhaps this is intended to push Oliver towards an enlightened moral code that he embraces at the end of the season once he becomes the Green Arrow. That's all well and good, and wholly welcomed by yours truly, but it doesn't make Oliver's perspective in "Spectre of the Gun" any easier to swallow.

My second issue is the contradictions. Edlund's family is killed during a mass shooting. He believes if Star City had pushed through the gun registry it would have protected his family. So... he shoots up city hall and the hospital to make it happen. WHAT??? 

Then, in his face to face with Oliver, it's revealed the shooter bought his gun legally, so there was nothing the city could have done to protect Edlund's family. His response is, "I know." Again, I say...

Then why is he going around shooting everyone? It makes absolutely no sense. If Edlund is mentally disturbed, then no gun registry or gun control law is going to stop him either.  His motives are illogical and contradictory thus rendering them, from a narrative perspective, pointless.

My third issue is with balance. Marc Guggenheim promised a fair and balanced debate. We listen to Curtis lecture Felicity about the wonders of fair and balanced debate. Arrow committed itself to presenting both sides of the issues.

I don't love guns.  I wouldn't have a problem if every handgun, semi automatic, automatic, etc. was confiscated. However, I am also an "originalist" (the constitution should be interpreted as closely as possible to the way America’s founders conceived it. ) Even though the 2nd Amendment isn't my favorite amendment, I recognize the right to bear arms. We don't get to pick and choose which amendments we follow. I've grown up around responsible gun owners, friends and family alike, who use guns for hunting and sport. These people are also ardent 2nd Amendment advocates and they have legitimate points of concern, as do people who are proponents of more gun control. 

However, Arrow did not present the "pro gun" argument tonight. Marc Guggenheim is an admitted unapologetic progressive, which is absolutely his right, but what is presented is the unapologetic progressive's version of the "pro gun" argument. This is an entirely different thing.

Essentially, “pro gun control” Oliver goes head to head with a city councilwoman who is for 2nd Amendment protection. Oliver is concerned with doing the right thing, while the councilwoman is more concerned with the political fallout (a not so subtle dig at the NRA and anyone who argues 2nd Amendment rights). While she argues 2nd Amendment protection, she never quite articulates those concerns in a concrete way. I believe Marc gave it his level best, but this falls short of the balanced realm.

"Spectre of the Gun"  is essentially a PSA for gun control. However, I don't think Arrow added anything new to the argument, which is a massive missed opportunity in my mind. Rehashing points made in other forums isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but I was hoping there’d be a little more new blood injected into the discussion.

My fourth issue is with solutions. Arrow spent a great deal of time talking around the concept of a gun registry, but they don't really delve into any details on how this limits gun violence.

The entire point of Arrow, the entire reason Oliver is the Green Arrow, is because he believes the system doesn't  work. That's why a vigilante is required. 

“It does need to stop, and if it's not gonna be the courts and it's not gonna be the cops... Then it's gonna be me.” - Oliver Queen, “An Innocent Man” 1x04

Now that Oliver is mayor he is the system. So, I was rather interested in seeing what solutions he was able to come up with.

Keep in mind this isn't "Earshot" on Buffy The Vampire Slayer. Buffy isn't talking Jonathan down while he holds a high powered rifle in the school clock tower. 

This isn't One Tree Hill when a student opens fire on the school. 

The entire episode takes place within the political construct of the mayoral office. The whole point is to see Oliver solve a problem as mayor. Marc and Wendy repeatedly said in promotion the concept is for Oliver to go an episode without wearing the Green Arrow suit. Although, he wore the suit, so color me mystified.

And then, we arrive at the climax, and what the episode has been building towards. Pro Gun Control Oliver and 2nd Amendment Defender Rene, come up with a gun control policy that protects people against gun violence, but doesn't limit the freedom of gun owners. Arrow beats its might chest because they manage to find a solution that serves both sides. Everybody leaves happy.

And the new gun control policies are...? And they achieve both by doing what...? 

No details are given. 

I read all the interviews before I watched the episode. I know Marc and Wendy were going for a nondescript, even debate, without providing any solutions. "Spectre of the Gun" is our Rorschach test.

Umm... or it was a freaking cop out. 

When the entire episode is built towards finding a political solution and then you fail to offer that political solution, that is an EPIC fail. 

This is a fantasy world. Make it up! If there is an easy way to achieve BOTH (gun control that protects 2nd Amendment rights) then PRESENT IT. Let some good come out of this. Throw it in the debate mix. Let's get it in front of Congress. Let's use this vehicle we call television to actually DO SOMETHING.

Here's why Arrow didn't present their mystical "everybody gets want they want" solution. It's not easy to achieve both. That's why this issue is so controversial. That's why this war rages on and on and on. At least when Punky Brewster said no to drugs, you understood how she was going to do it. Mrs. Reagan gave her the road map.  Sometimes she even brought visual aids. Arrow wants the neat bow, and feel good wrap up, Mrs. Reagan provided without actually showing the visual aids. Nope. 

If the audience isn’t meant to receive any easy answers, then neither should the characters. Instead, Oliver & company find the answer, but we don’t get to know what it is.

Perhaps, Arrow's intent is to simply spark the debate. This ties in closely with Curtis' lecture to Felicity about the necessity of healthy debate. I agree with Curtis. Healthy debate is a necessity and is the life blood of a democratic society. However, I don't agree that we've stopped talking to one another. I don't think Arrow needed to jump start this debate again. This debate has been waging for decades now. Talking isn't the problem. The problem is... we've stopped LISTENING to one another.

I didn't see a lot of listening on Curtis' part in that "debate" with Felicity. Rather, it is Felicity being lectured to. I don't necessarily think Felicity is the right character to represent the "talking about politics is impolite" group. A strong stance about gun control would have made a little more sense to me coming from Felicity, the person who uses weapons the least on Arrow, rather than Oliver.

However, Felicity can, on occasion, shut down and retreat. So, I didn't find it wildly out of character, but it is frustrating. Instead of being talked to, it feels like she was being talked at. Once again, it feels like Felicity is being silenced to prop other characters. The reason why many get particularly upset about Felicity is because she is the female lead of Arrow. We heard from Dinah, who has all of two episodes under her belt. We heard from random councilwoman. Yet, we didn't get a clear view on Felicity's perspective. She is the front and center female character on Arrow. Her silence feels a little illogical. In an episode that's all about characters' viewpoints, we'd like to hear from the primary leads.

That's not to say Felicity didn't have some legit points. She did. Healthy debate is all well and good, but it also has an appropriate time and place. That's not always the workplace for some people, or other environments in which they don't feel comfortable discussing something as personal as political views. This doesn't suddenly make them a problem. It doesn't suddenly make them less American either, which I felt Arrow implies by Curtis' lecture.

This debate is also prohibiting actual work from getting done. The work is more important than Curtis and Rene's differing views on guns and Felicity calling attention to this fact doesn't make her any less engaged or concerned about the issue.  

Diggle is also conspicuously silent too. He is too busy finding Dinah an apartment with a garden. Well, that is a crisis. Best get on that. 

I found this shocking as well. Most military people I know have strong opinions about guns. Does leaving two of three members of Original Team Arrow out of the discussion feel odd to anyone else? It felt odd to me. Perhaps this is a protective technique? They don't want to embroil some of their fan favorite characters in such a sensitive issue and risk alienating audience members? So they offer secondary characters like Curtis and Rene as sacrificial lambs? Perhaps. No real way of knowing.

I did enjoy Wild Dog. While some characters felt like they were taking a leave of absence from their bodies to become political mouthpieces, Wild Dog did not. His attitude and perspective made a lot of sense, especially when we see his flashback. Rene going for his gun in the safe is an argument I've had with many friends and family who keep guns in the home. I've always questioned the logistical ability to get to the gun and load it, when an intruder is in the home. Arrow did a good job of showing that.

That said, they lost me at the random bullet killing his wife. The argument presented is the bullet wouldn't have fired if Rene didn't fire his gun. It's an unbelievably heavy handed commentary on keeping a gun in the home in an already heavy handed pro gun control episode. Subtle isn't Arrow's strong suit, but this was bad even for them.

They've also left room for Wild Dog's exit without having to kill him. He could get custody of his daughter again and want to leave all of this "violence" behind to give her the safe environment he craves. We shall see.

While the attempt is valiant, ultimately “Spectre of the Gun” is a misfire for me. This episode is a massive pause on all character storylines and development. Hopefully, next week we can return to our regularly schedule programming. And the next time Arrow feels the urge to do a “very special episode” let’s just... not.

Thea Queen

I pledge my allegiance to Thea because she is QUEEN. Where she goes so goes my nation. Oh my darling girl, how I have missed you. Come here to me.

I live for Thea's insanely on point snark. 

Susan was the absolute WORST to Thea. So, she is well within her rights to believe Susan is shady. Also, Susan is shady. (Quit telling me she's not Arrow because she is.)

"She's a good at her job and she's a good person. So there."

I really can't even believe Oliver ended an argument with "so there." 

ARE YOU SIX? Feels like a Stephen Amell adlib.

If we're defining "good at her job" as using her sexapades with Oliver to investigate him, then Susan gets a gold star. 

While Oliver isn't comfortable leveraging his personal relationship with Susan for political gain, she has no problem leveraging their personal relationship for PROFFESIONAL gain. These two might want to have a talk.

It's a little mind boggling to me how Oliver willfully ignores the obscene conflict of interest with dating a reporter. Though, to be fair, on the list of stupid things Oliver has done, it doesn't even rank in the top 5. I can also recognize dating the exactly wrong person occupation wise is intentional on Arrow's part. Still, it's irritating.

Thea's unrelenting distaste for Susan, in spite of Oliver's increasing anger over her attitude, is pretty freaking fantastic. Thea respects Oliver's right to date whoever he wants. That doesn't mean Thea has to like her. I am pleased Thea is holding her ground on this issue. She's not interfering. She's not actively trying to break them up. Thea is just being honest and, as I've said, she has good reason to feel how she feels about Susan.

Thea is generally supportive of anyone Oliver dates, so I think the bigger misstep here is on his part. Maybe he should be paying attention to some of those red flags Thea is drawing attention to. Will there eventually come a point when Thea needs to zip it? Sure, but we're nowhere near that point. Nor do I believe Susan and Oliver will be together long enough to reach that point. Thea is essentially the audience's ambassador. She is us. We are Thea. She is our mouthpiece, so we can swallow the remaining few episodes of this Olicity roadblock masquerading as a relationship. Bless you Thea. You are doing God's work.

Stray Thoughts

I see no problem with the term Dragon Lady. Feels on point to me. Dragon Lady it is.

Curtis being the counterpoint to Rene’s perspective is a nice continuation of their evolving partnership. It builds off their opposite personalities, and their banter/bickering, shown in previous eps well.

Feel like Quentin could have remarked on Dinah thing. Cause it's a thing.

I liked that Oliver, and not the Green Arrow, talked Edlund down. It’s a step in the right direction. 

This line is exceptionally beautiful and shows how much Oliver has learned over the years. He’s starting to realize what a real legacy is about. 

How many Canaries has Diggle rehabilitated now? He should form an official non profit and take the tax deduction.

"So, we needed to find Dinah a place to live, but can someone tell me where OLIVER lives?" - @callistawolf asks the important questions y'all.

I liked Canaries (3x13) better. CANARIES Y'ALL. That's how much I disliked 5x13.

*** I questioned whether I was even going to write a review, primarily because this is such a hot button issue. My goal in writing it is simply to critique the episode and move on. Not ignite a gun control debate on the blog. If others want to continue the discussion in the comments, please keep it respectful. I will be moderating, but this is probably where I tap out. As always, thanks for taking the time to read my thoughts. 

[brentsotherblog]

Top 15 Films of 2016

Hey, I’m still doing this!

Living in Chicago (and working at a job with flexibility for occasional film streaming) means better access to films, and I saw 63 of the films released last year (er, if “released last year” is loosely defined). As always, this is a list of my favorite films—the ones I connected with most or couldn’t stop thinking about. I’m stretching to 15 films this year, because I couldn’t narrow it any further, and because does anyone read this?

Different year, same disclaimer: We all have different standards and tolerance for material, so if you’re wary of certain kinds of content, I’d recommend perusing reviews or ratings before trusting my recommendations.

(I really struggled to narrow this down! #22 is La La Land, #21 is Paterson, #20 is One More Time with Feeling, #19 is Kubo and the Two Strings, #18 is The Handmaiden, #17 is The Lobster, and #16 is Cemetery of Splendor.)

15. Swiss Army Man

I had to watch this twice to make sure it deserved a spot on my list—was there really as much heartfelt sweetness as I initially perceived?—but I can confirm that if you don’t mind more than a handful (an island-full, more accurately) of fart jokes and boner jokes, Swiss Army Man offers a heartfeltly sweet story about friendship and what happens when our intricately constructed inner worlds are exposed for the world to see.

14. Loving

This is the film that 2015’s Freeheld wanted to be: Poignant, gentle, and lovely, Loving seems mostly unconcerned with reminding you that it’s a film about a major social issue or a major Supreme Court case. Instead, it’s a film about a couple whose connection to a major social issue finds them at the center of a major Supreme Court case, but most of that exists in the background: Watch Mildred and Richard tend to each other, take care of each other, be husband and wife to each other.

13. Captain Fantastic

Wickedly funny and concerned with two of my favorite themes (i.e., whether those who withdraw from society might actually be better off, and a la #15, what happens when our private worlds are publicly exposed), Captain Fantastic was unlike anything else I saw this year. This is the opposite of a movie that doesn’t know what it thinks about its protagonist and his decisions—it cares deeply for Ben Cash (a nuanced performance from Viggo Mortensen) and his family and presents them as complex humans worthy of our time and consideration.

12. Manchester by the Sea

Okay, it bummed me out that so much of the discussion about this movie focused on how sad it was, as if it were created merely to win sad-movie Oscars: It is a profoundly sad story, but it’s also bleakly funny and boldly straightforward, a sort of workman’s examination of grief less concerned with pompous soliloquies than with the sort of humdrum triggers and decisions that grief is actually made of, like: When is it warm enough to bury a body in Massachusetts?

11. OJ: Made in America

The documentary that finally scratched my Serial-shaped itch! OJ: Made in America earns its nearly 8-hour runtime by showing exactly how Simpson’s trial captured so many contemporary dynamics in American culture: race, policing, celebrity, sports, marriage, abuse, economics, etc., etc. It says a lot that I was hooked 30 minutes in, at which point the film is still mostly only talking about Simpson’s football career.

10. Moana

I saw Moana with my family over Christmas, and there was a specific moment about two-thirds of the way in when I stopped thinking, “This is a beautiful film, and I’m so glad my niece and nephews are getting to see such a great female hero,” and realized, “No, forget the kids, forget progressive politics—Moana is a badass character, and this is a genuinely entertaining and movie story.” I could write pages about this film, from its wonderful subversion of kids’ movie tropes to its rich theological themes to its beautiful visual style, but I’m too busy crying at the part where the ocean gives Te Fiti’s heart to Moana.

9. Sing Street

Sing Street has all the elements of a coming-of-age classic (breakout performances from two young leads, a self-aware sense of humor, moments of surprising darkness, and an ambitious ending that reaches for the mythic) and ties them together in a toe-tapping, catchy package. What elevates Sing Street is its subtle forays into the imaginary, like the slow pan around the room as the band assembles for “Up” and the heartbreaking fantasy of “Drive It Like You Stole It.” If nothing else (and there’s so much else!), this film gave us the sublime “Riddle of the Model.”

8. Hidden Figures

Listen, the worst thing I can say about this film is that it’s somewhat low-hanging, feel-good fruit; but if you want to feel good after watching a movie, you could do much, much worse than a story about the unsung black women heroes of NASA in the 1960s featuring perfect performances, deft pacing, and dialogue that sizzles. The film subversively suggests that one of the worst dangers of systemic injustice (among many) is its sheer mathematical inefficiency, and the subplot about Katherine’s difficulty finding a bathroom for (so-called) colored women is one of the best portrayals of the slowly exhausting burdens of invisible (to some) discrimination I’ve seen.

7. Krisha

Imagine a horror movie where the villain is the anxiety induced by large family gatherings, or maybe the demons that accompany you to those gatherings. Though I usually look forward to Thanksgiving and Christmas with my own relatives, Krisha was the kind of film that grabbed me by the shoulders and wouldn’t let me exhale till the credits rolled. The unfamiliar cast (composed of mostly real-life friends and family) and house setting help this film feel like a small peek into the dynamics of a real family system. How is this Krisha Fairchild’s first prominent role (at least in a long time), and when can I see her on screen next?

6. The Fits

This year’s “I don’t know exactly what to say about it except that it’s doing something brilliant, and I couldn’t take my eyes off it” entry! The Fits is undoubtedly up to some interesting things in terms of gender and social pressure, but this film spoke to me primarily on a visceral-aesthetic level, due primarily to Royalty Hightower’s commanding, stoic (and, undoubtedly, career-launching) physical performance as a young boxer-turned-dancer.

5. I Am Not Your Negro

In a year that gave us more than a handful of compelling, tightly-constructed documentaries about various issues concerning race in the United States (including #11), I Am Not Your Negro had the greatest effect on me. The film’s clever, gut-wrenching juxtaposition of protest and police footage (What year was that clip from, again?) and pop culture history is elevated a few steps by searing narration from James Baldwin’s typewriter and a smart, poignant structure highlighting the deaths of three Civil Rights Movement giants.

4. The Witch

I only watch horror films if they get buzz like The Witch got, and the buzz did not mislead me: This is a gorgeous, haunting, disturbing film, one that meticulously crafts a self-contained world as a means of isolating us in that world with its isolated protagonists. As a result, the dangers menacing the family—from the surrounding forest, but more pressingly from each person’s heart—feel truly menacing, and we may not know any better than the characters what they should fear most. Don’t let any critic tell you what the ending means; it’s much more fruitful to argue it out with fellow viewers. The second-best film on faith I saw this year.

3. Silence

Admittedly I was rooting for this film out of the gate as a huge fan of Endo’s novel, but I think the adaptation succeeds on many fronts: The brutally patient pace, the fully-realized (and stunning) recreation of 17th-century Japan, and the sheer power of every interaction between Neeson’s Ferreira and Garfield’s Rodrigues. It was a growing frustration of mine to see how poorly (and inevitably) Silence performed at the box office compared to 2016’s God is Not Dead 2; suffice it to say that I consider the former film a much more compelling exploration of the question of God’s absence. (It’s rare that a film adaptation of a character so matches my imagination that I actually recognize the character, but thus was the case with Kubozuka’s snivelling, tormented portrayal of Kichijiro.)

2. Arrival

I loved this film for a few reasons. It’s absolutely the most gripping experience I had in a theater all year, with each of the film’s high-stakes revelations unfurling slowly and organically with a pleasantly slow burn. It’s a perfect marriage of form and function, in terms of how the story plays with familiar tropes (including cinematic depictions of grief) to foreshadow and surprise us. It’s firing on all cylinders, including a powerhouse performance from Amy Adams, an unforgettable score, and breathtaking, expansive cinematography, to deliver a story that’s equally satisfying as both an alien encounter film and a personal family drama. More than anything, though—and I shouldn’t spoil too much here—it’s a wholly imaginative exploration of the age-old question of whether you’d live your life differently, if you had the chance. The last ten minutes of dialogue are nearly perfect.

1. Moonlight

I knew this would be my favorite film of the year about 10 minutes in. It’s become cliched to call the film “empathetic,” but it’s true that I can’t remember a story so concerned with letting its characters speak on their own terms as Moonlight is. Each performance is masterful: See if you can count how many times Juan (Mahershala Ali) or Paula (Naomie Harris) shifts between vulnerable and withdrawn (”soft” and “hard,” in the language of the film) in any given scene, or all the near-imperceptible ways Kevin and Chiron admit to themselves and signal to each other what they hope will happen. My second viewing revealed many of the film’s brilliant structural touches, like the way each act ends with the moment that effectively concludes each chapter of Chiron’s development, or the subtle visual motifs that tie his life together; notice, for example, the way Kevin heating up water on the stove to make Chrion tea recalls young Chiron heating water for his bath, or the colors of the shirts the two leads wear in the final scene. What else? The film contains both my favorite line (”I cry so much sometimes I think one day I’m gon’ just turn into drops.”) and my favorite scene (the transcendent baptism-via-swimming-lesson sequence) of the year, and I haven’t talked to anyone who was unaffected by it. Moonlight is a timeless masterpiece and my favorite film of 2016.